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#nothing i’ve seen has said ANYTHING about potentially having to wait a week just to make your account
labyrynth · 6 months
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federal free file: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
pros:
very straightforward and easy to understand
little “what is this?” buttons all over the place that had simple explanations, and linked to more comprehensive information.
used the same identity verification system as the CA unemployment department, and effectively lets you use the same account
cons:
somewhat limited in scope; your situation needs to be pretty standard to use it.
CA free file: no stars
pros:
a good idea in concept (and long overdue)
advertised as having fast registration and quick filing
cons:
their identity verification system is broken on multiple browsers, including firefox and opera—you have to use microsoft fucking edge to get it to work (which i had to find out from reddit)
verification rejected with no explanation (why does the CA tax board not use the same system as the CA employment department??)
instead they will mail you a pin in 5-7 business days so you can finish creating your account to file your taxes
5-7 business days: april 18-20
deadline to file taxes: april 15
do you see the problem here
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gay-jesus-probably · 1 year
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So like, last night I stumbled upon your discussions of why a lot of TOTK’s whole… everything is messed up, and it had me thinking about it so much I had troubled sleeping afterwards. So uh, thanks for that lol (/lh). In all seriousness, your takes on how imperialist Hyrule is in this game, how much less like unique cultures the various towns feel like, Ganondorf being both completely flat and also seemingly not meant to be, and how weird it is that Zelda is back in power really put into words a lot of thoughts that had been nagging at me as I’ve been playing. Like, the amount to which the writing has suffered from BOTW is staggering when you actually lay out the problems. Out of curiosity, do you have any idea what the fuck happened? Like did the writing team change? The game had so much potential, as seen by the numerous fan theories/AUs etc. So what went wrong?
Honestly? I have no idea. I'm not usually that big on behind the scenes stuff anyways, and I'll be real here, I went into this game pretty much 100% blind - I didn't even watch any of the trailers, I knew NOTHING about TOTK except from a few details I absorbed from hearing other people talk about online (basically, I knew Ganondorf was going to show up as a talking corpse, Link would lose an arm, and the Master Sword would get rekt).
I rarely buy games as soon as they come out anyways tbh; I can only think of three games that I've actually gone out of my way to get as soon as possible after their release, and that was the 3DS remakes of Superstar Saga and Bowsers Inside Story (two of my favourite games ever, and Superstar Saga having literally been my first RPG), and I picked up the Mario 3D All Stars collection on launch day as a favour to my older sibling (who was stuck at work), and got one for myself in the process. The only reason I bought TOTK like a week after its release was because one of our dogs was literally days away from having a puppy, and so I knew that the next few weeks of my life would be entirely dedicated to keeping the other two dogs busy, assisting mom with the newborn puppy, and just generally being on call to provide literally anything mom needed as soon as she needed it. Which meant a lot of sitting around waiting to be required, and I'd need something to do that I could easily pause at a moments notice. So... new video game seemed a good way to fill the hang time.
And it was a good call, like I said, I've been having loads of fun with this game. There's a reason I've almost got 300 hours of gameplay, and it's not (just) because I haven't had anything better to do in between taking care of dog stuff (though that number is somewhat inflated due to me leaving it open and paused for hours at a time while busy with dog stuff). It's just that the story is a fucking mess.
As for what happened with the story... I have no idea. I've seen some people suggest that they might have been planning something a little more ambitious, and then technical limitations forced them to walk it back, so the story had to be hastily reworked to match. And I've heard that the abilities in TOTK were just ideas they had for BOTW that they couldn't fit in, which honestly I can see - the abilities are cool and all, but let's be real here, they aren't nearly as distinct as the BOTW runes. Magnesis, Cryonis, Stasis and Remote Bombs were unique powers with different uses in different areas; now the powerset is just Recall, Get Around Slightly Faster, Ultrahand, Ultrahand But In Your Inventory, and Ultrahand But Faster. But I don't know if that's actually the case.
But honestly, I really don't know why the writing is so awful. To be fair, some of it is definitely just the English translation team shitting the bed - like come on, they didn't need to have Sidon and Yona repeatedly exchange the exact same line about how he's scared she'll die like Mipha. They could have at least changed the fucking wording to make it sound more natural. And I know that other translation teams managed to inject some more nuance into the story - the French translation actually managed to call Rauru on his imperialist bullshit! For the throne room scene, they had Ganon refer to Rauru with 'vous', the formal form of 'you', but Rauru refers to Ganon with 'tu', the informal form of 'you'. 'Tu' is for use in casual settings or between friends, and if someone is using 'vous' for you, referring to them with 'tu' is a MASSIVE insult; it's very condescending, and implies that you have literally no respect for that person whatsoever, but they should continue treating you as a figure of great authority. To sort of translate that into an English equivalent, it'd be like if Ganon walked into that scene using formal language and referring to Rauru as a fellow King, and Rauru responded by treating Ganon like a small, dumb child. Hugely insulting. Also the vous/tu disparity has a History with French colonialism, so that adds some implications as to what Hyrule's really doing with their 'allies'. And in the scene where Ganon takes the secret stone, the French translation has him say Rauru tried to force him to submit, which is an outright accusation of imperialism (as opposed to the English saying Rauru wanted to control Ganon, which suggests the problem was Rauru thinking he could find a peaceful solution instead of just executing a foreign leader for thought crimes)
So the english translation definitely had the room to put some more nuance into things if the team had wanted to; honestly I kind of wish I knew Japanese so I could compare it to the original script and see if any of the problems I've been bitching about were part of the script from the start, or if the English translators were just particularly bad. But Nintendo is a very conservative company, and Japan is a very conservative country with a serious nationalism problem, so I kind of doubt it, especially since the game portrays Hyrule pretty much the exact same way that Japan is portrayed in propaganda justifying their own imperialism. That... does not suggest the English team went apeshit. That suggests that the awful shit was in the script from the start, and the English team was just totally on board with it.
As for the writing teams... I mean, to be fair it's been like seven years, of course the writing team isn't the exact same as BOTW. But honestly, the main issue is just that they've recycled a lot of old problems from the Zelda games, and somehow stripped them of what little nuance they had before. Like, Ganondorf trying to take over Hyrule because Evil has been an issue since Ocarina of Time (which this game was clearly heavily pulling from), but even though OoT never told us he had a deeper motive, the worldbuilding still showed exactly why he would have such an issue with Hyrule. We knew there had been a bloody civil war only about a decade before Ganon's takeover, we knew that the Gerudo were treated with disdain by Hyrule, and we saw that Hyrule's alliances with the Gorons and Zora were pretty flimsy, and neither race felt like Hyrule actually gave a damn about them. But most importantly of all, OoT gave us the Shadow Temple, a horrific prison meant to inflict unspeakable torture on its captives... all on orders from the Hylian royal family. Hyrule's hands were never clean. We weren't supposed to side with Ganon in OoT, but we were shown a long list of reasons for why he was so pissed off.
Someone else said that TOTK feels like a retelling of OoT that's just pro-Hyrule propaganda, and that's a pretty good summary. I don't know what the fuck Nintendo was thinking, but honestly it kind of seems like they're trying to stick to the formula of Zelda games at all costs, while also making the entire game just a huge 'gotcha' to all the fans that have spent the last 25 years seeing Ganondorf as a sympathetic character with depth and reasonable motivations. I find it ironic that they decided to include the Wind Waker boomerang and shield in the game, considering that the whole game feels like an attempt to get everyone to forget Wind Waker ever happened. That's still the most human we've ever gotten to see Ganondorf - he didn't have many lines in that game, but the ones he did have mattered. At the end of the day, WW Ganondorf wanted to have a better life for his people, and he knew Hyrule would never let that happen. But now apparently Ganon just wants to dropkick puppies into woodchippers, and he doesn't give the slightest hint of a fuck about trying to wipe out the Gerudo people entirely by attacking them with an endless sandstorm plus zombie apocalypse. His only character trait is Evil.
If I want to get really cynical for a minute here, I think it's basically just a cash grab. If your game prompts a moral debate, then it can offend people, which means they won't want to give you money for it. But if it's a simple black and white conflict with no nuance, the fans will love all the right characters in the right way, and everyone will love hyrule and want to see more of it! It's like the fucking MCU; they're not willing to tell a fresh story, or make any serious commentary. They just want something safe and formulaic that has been statistically proven to make money. Fucking cowards.
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chevelleneech · 4 months
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Is Eddie Diaz gay?
That’s a dramatic title, lol, but how better to start yet another series of rambling thought?
It may not even be a long post, (I lied), to be honest, but people on Twitter have been talking about this today and I honestly have to agree with most of what’s being said. Eddie’s storyline is pointing very solidly in one direction (no X factor), and I can’t really see them pivoting anywhere else.
I’ve said before I don’t think they’ll make him queer, because I genuinely do not see them wanting to risk the ratings even though the show is still doing incredibly well. I also feel like we don’t even have Buck’s queer storyline yet, so the pessimistic side of me is leaning more toward the politics of network tv doing what it does best, and choosing to play it safe. Do I think that’s what they should do? Not at all, because Eddie’s character will only be worse off for it.
Since his introduction, we have never seen Eddie in a successful relationship with a woman. He married the first girl he ever had sex with because he got her pregnant, then they had an unhappy marriage due to them both being young and him being afraid of what being a husband and father meant, and because his child has a disability he wasn’t at all prepared for. Following their separation and him “not really dating” due to being a full time working single father, they rekindled for a short time that also ended poorly hours before she dies. After that, Eddie is torn up with grief and struggles with his own mental, emotional, and physical traumas. In between his struggling he attempts to date a nice woman, but panics at the thought of marrying her. Fast forward a few years give or take, he tells his friends dating women feels like he’s being made to perform. He also expresses to his aunt that he isn’t excited about getting back into the dating world, and only does so because she is worried about him being alone. His next serious relationship, due to him convincing himself that seeing a woman he aided on a emergency call in a hardware store was a sign, is with a woman he asks to move in with him after a few weeks to a maybe two months of dating. Only, he almost breaks up with her because she was a nun. A not all reasonable reason, since she’s clearly not devout nor judgmental any more than he is himself. He freaks out about it though, and spirals since he suddenly feels like Jesus and God will punish him for thinking about her in a sexual way, despite them already having had sex. Such panic however, leads to him asking her to move out. And even with all of that drama, he still manages to kickstart an emotional affair with another woman whilst dating said woman, because this new woman looks like his dead wife.
And yes, I left all of that in the same paragraph, because that’s the only way to grasp the full spectrum of Eddie’s canon romantic life. The first girl he ever loved as a teenager got pregnant, and the result of them forcing themselves to stay together has led to where we are now.
Yes, it’s all fiction and the writers can technically decide to do away with whatever bits they want in order to make the story they want to tell work, but no one else’s story has really been retconned to make anything work. Even the decision to make Buck bisexual has sort of just been plopped there and then forgotten (I have a ponder about this at the end), because technically previous seasons have just enough, “Wait… was that kinda gay or was it just me?” scenes from him to make it work. The only aspect of Buck’s queerness they’d have to confront or retcon/ignore are Buddie scenes, since he’s never said he is straight in canon. So it’s not like there’s a lot of heavy lifting to do with Buck. He was promiscuous as fuck, then became a lover boy. Easy peasy bisexual squeezy.
With Eddie, for the sake of their less open minded viewers, his entire potential queer journey has to unfold on screen to be believed. Expect, again, if this is not where the writers are going… nothing will make sense. He ran away from his wife and child, had a panic attack at the thought of wedding a second woman, and he had some sort of Catholic guilt crisis at the thought of having more sex with a woman he’s already had sex with because he found out she was once a nun, then began dating a woman because she looked like the dead woman he ran away from. Aka, Eddie Diaz is canonically incapable of having healthy relationships with women.
Whether intentionally or inadvertently, Eddie has sabotaged every heterosexual relationship he has been in, so where does his plot go if he’s not queer? Or at least asexual/hetero-romantic. Because none of this is fan theory. It is beat by beat what has been shown in canon.
And to be honest, even as I try to make an excuse for them, I can’t. Because the only way they keep Eddie straight is by keeping Marisol around, because the only other option is trying to explain why he’s still hung up on Shannon. Not still grieving, because that is understandable even if he is gay. Because a gay man never having the chance to explore his sexuality, then being forced to perform the utmost display of heterosexuality with the girl he got pregnant by accident, then losing her in death, is a reasonable story to tell.
Having that same backstory apply to a straight man does not work. Not once they wrote him saying he doesn’t like going on dates with women because he feels like he’s faking interest in them. Unless that is the part of his past they plan to retcon? Maybe they’ll claim he felt that way because he’s never felt as comfortable with another woman as he did with Shannon? But even that is murky water, because their relationship fell apart once they realized they only stayed together for Christopher. So what about her are we supposed to believe he is idolizing or felt ultimate comfort in, if not the security of having known her since childhood and her being someone he was comfortable hiding behind in order to not have to confront his sexuality?
Which is why I think Marisol will have to stay if they keep Eddie heterosexual, with no queer spectrum wiggle room. Marisol is the only link between Eddie remaining straight and the general audience that doesn’t speculate about characters sexualities. They aren’t typically going to think anything other than what they’re being told to think about his character. So if Marisol stays and forgives him and understands his grief, none of the larger audience will really question it. What will be too much to ask of them, is to have Marisol leave and a new woman comes along who is accepting of the whole shit show of why his last relationship ended, and her becoming his endgame. That would be a lot to ask of the audience, so he has to either stay single or stay with a woman he is severely disrespecting. Both of which do a disservice to his character.
Ultimately though, it’s up to Tim and the network to decide how this storyline unfolds, and I’m not optimistic.
Circling back to Buck’s sexuality real quick, and no this has nothing to do with Buddie. Not entirely.
I have been wondering the last couple of days if the lack of storyline regarding his coming out, is because they plan to tackle it in s8? Because we know it wasn’t actually supposed to happen, and the fact that it did was very last minute. So maybe Tim felt like there was no real room to discuss the arc in full, and is kind of shelving it until he can?
If so, perhaps that is why Tommy is lingering around? They want to keep BuckTommy fresh in the audience mind, so that once they start to peel back how Buck is feeling about being out, they can either further develop Tommy or have Buck decide he’s not ready to date. I truly don’t know what will happen with him, but it will be a huge disappointment if s8 doesn’t dabble at least a little bit in Buck’s queer journey, and instead replace it with him dating Tommy for the remainder of the series as some sort of checked box. Because they literally only kissed so Tim could get Buck out of the closet, twice. Once for the audience then once in universe.
So with him, there’s only two options. Keep Buck’s queer journey stagnant to develop it in s8 or to put more time into developing Eddie’s queerness to make Buddie canon in s8. That’s it. And no one can tell me without bias that Buck’s storyline as been compelling or fulfilling this season. He popped into s7 like, “Hi! Bi! Bye!” and that’s all we got, lol.
But as I said, I am quite pessimistic about how this season will end for Eddie, and about how s8 will turn out for Buck, but I’m here until the end. I love this show, and unless they do something extreme to turn me off it, I will watch until the series finale. Although I do still stand by what I said about if there’s no mention of Buddie’s feelings for each other at all by the s7 finale. All storylines will cease to actually mean anything to me, because what are we building up to if it can all be ignored anyway?
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iamafictionfreak · 2 years
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KINNPORSCHE
(spoilers for those who haven't seen episode 2)
I'm spiralling.
For the majority of viewers, I can imagine you’re all simply watching the episodes and letting it be – I don’t have that option because there isn’t a single person that I know who’s interested in discussing with me and I NEED to discuss it with someone! It’s dire. I need INFORMATION.
It’s not that it’s this amazing show (not that it isn’t either) that needs to be analysed to death. No, it’s the potential there that’s driving me silly, and we have to wait two whole weeks for episode 3 to air. Not sure how I’m going to last.
A show about gay mafia, bodyguards and how their daily lives run and intersect??? How can I not love it?
I have questions. I’m watching this blind – I know next to nothing about it beyond the trailer, ep 1&2, and the scraps of insight left by some magnanimous souls (@lutawolf is one of them) posting about the outfits, the colours used and what they’re indicative of etc. It’s based on a book, I do know that and, honestly, I don’t necessarily need to ask for more. I could just enjoy it. But.
BUT.
When I like a thing, when I really like a thing, I need to inhale as much of the thing as I can. For fun, this is FUN for me. I like doing this.
We have a show about a gay Dom (I’m guessing) Mafiosi hard hitter called Kinn (Anikinn) and a disaster of a human being called Porsche.
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YES. I'm sorry. I had to post this (credit goes to Seokhwasan for the pics). LOOK AT THEM.
Ahem.
For anyone who’s read the book, feel free to tell me if anything I write here is incorrect. I’ll be incorrect a lot. It’s how I role. My analytic skills are lacking because I usually get so absorbed that I miss details – like KinnPorsche, it’s a game of chess and you’ve got to think ahead several steps to beat the system, to reach check and find Mate. I’ve never been able to do that with any degree of finesse so feel free to help me.
What I really want to look at are the two leads. Of course, it’s a show about them. A well-made show about them, where all the characters so far feel three dimensional, so that’s great right off the bat. But no, I want focus on certain behaviours exhibited in episode two.
Porsche is a national champion in Taekwondo. You don’t get to that level by being a strutting street thug with little finesse and a slippery ego. You get there through dedication, resilience, will power, hard work, patience, and TALENT.
We saw none of this in episode 2 (just a talent for fucking up).
Let’s back up a second.
Porsche is clearly a gifted little shit, right? But because he’s had to become the breadwinner, it seems that he’s given up on being gifted because gifted costs money. A life he gave up where he won a lot, a life where he had prospects, a life where he shined for reasons that didn’t involve his dick or parading his looks like a peacock for money.
He appears to enjoy being a bartender and getting laid by lots of beautiful women looking to forget themselves with the hot bad boy behind the bar. It's transient and maybe, deep down, it makes him feel worthless, Maybe I'm reaching there.
But does he miss what he might have been? He’ll never blame his brother – he’s doing all of this for him. Basically, if his brother can succeed in life, it won’t matter what happens to him. So, he has layers – there’s a truly selfless piece of him, mixed in with the stripes of grey where he, currently, doesn’t house anyone but his brother.
It's why he took Kinn up on his request (‘cough’ demand/threat ‘cough’) to be his bodyguard – the money, so that his brother can go to classes without worrying about paying the rent.
I’m also going to skip the part where the head of Kinn’s family CLEARLY has a hidden agenda regarding Porsche, which, I for one, think is going to be a fucking huge deal down the line.
But back to the choice to be his bodyguard. He said he’d guard him – he never said he’d do a good job of it.
I get the feeling that Porsche only says what he believes and only makes promises he can keep. Basically, he’s honest. He hasn’t promised to 'succeed' in guarding Kinn. Anyone would think he’d naturally want to do well out of pride – I’m that way. Even if I don’t like my job, I’ll do as well as I can, simply because I can, but Porsche doesn’t think like that, which is extremely healthy in one way. In another it’s detrimental because he’s only just realising that a bad job can get him hurt or killed.
At the end of the day, Porsche really doesn’t want to be there and that’s why everything is going tits-up.
It might be for his brother, but the bare minimum is where he’s at right now. He just has to show up. They’re the ones who went for him in the first place, they want him there – not the other way around. For Porsche, respect and loyalty are earned and they haven’t earned it from him. A substandard performance is all they’re going to get.
But there is another way for Porsche to take his new job seriously – he needs to care, right?
He’s befriended Pete and vice versa. Even after this one episode, if anything happens to Pete, Porsche will be all over it. He’s been humiliated but it didn’t destroy his pride. Now he’s switched guarding Kinn to guarding his brother Tankhun, who - if the official trailer is anything to go by - he’s soooooo going to be throwing a party for, and maybe it’ll be a night where the mafia brothers can relax, because who else knows how to throw a party like Porsche? So, it’s already happening. This is how he starts caring.
But he can’t read Kinn – he’s used to picking up on small behavioural patterns, on the way people dress and how they act around him. He’s learnt it. It made him a reputable bartender.
With Kinn? He saw glimpses of the man, but he knows it’s surface stuff. That scene at the end of ep 2, where Porsche makes him coffee, gets it wrong and Kinn responds pretty much with, practice makes perfect, and Porsche allows the smallest concession there. Then they both confess to trying to figure out who other is. Kinn, under his guise(?) of absolute authority and control. Porsche beneath his loose, undisciplined Pan-likeness. Who are they really?
Curiosity. Doesn’t take much more to get the ball rolling.
All through the episode Porsche is told and shown that the rest of Kinn’s family seem to be more ridiculous, quintessentially entitled, violent, and all-around NUTS in comparison. But Porsche doesn’t agree because there’s just something about Kinn that’s either unsettling or confusing him, and because of that, it’s made Kinn the unpredictable party. It’s made him interesting.
Interest doesn’t equal care, but this is early days. We have 12 episodes more and all of them devoted to figuring out the characters.
What’s equally interesting to me is that Kinn is the first to show attraction.
Porsche is apparently, just his physical type, but I don’t think his personality is, so this might be new ground for Kinn.
Now, I wrote attraction, and I meant it. Attraction. Physical attraction – you don’t need to act on finding someone attractive. I think what I’m enjoying most right now is the levels already being stamped out here. Kinn’s gay, capital G. But the number of men he’s found attractive without doing shit about it, are probably endless. So, what will make whatever he’s feeling become more than just attraction?
He's clearly surprised by it. Has he never been attracted to one of his bodyguards?
Pretty certain the impression of a cold, controlled mafia god has more truth to it than not. But does it actually go so far as to describe him as a Dom? And I’m absolutely referring to dynamics of the BDSM variety, not just someone with a domineering personality. It feels like it does, but I’d rather not assume so.
I breach this subject because Porsche is his own person – he’s entered a military-like compound, where his under someone else’s control and for someone as strong willed as him, Kinn’s personality might chafe- HAS already chafed. Can a strong personality like Porsche submit to someone like Kinn? It’s a long while off but I’m super interested in the journey.
As for Porsche being the worst bodyguard in the history of all bodyguards, I’m guessing that once he has reason to care, he’ll do what he does best, which is become the absolute BEST. He’ll be the BEST bodyguard, like he’s the best swimmer, the best taekwondo pupil, the best bartender. Eventually he’ll go from thug to killing machine – he’ll stop failing and he’ll do it for Kinn.
You think we saw him at his best in episode 1? No, we saw someone who'd had a few drinks, who'd just gotten laid, who was very much used to an undisciplined lifestyle, years away from Taekwondo days. Eventually, he'll stand and walk differently. The gun in his hands will stop being a toy. He'll see exits and entrances instead of the general splendour money can buy.
But right now, everyone needs to think he’s a giant loser or close to it - Vegas now thinks he’s this playful guy with some skill after sending a woman to pretend to try to Kill Kinn for intel. He was drunk on duty and talked back to his boss - it’s sort of interesting but it’d be easy for people to drop their guard around Porsche following that display.
For the future, I think everyone needs to watch the fuck out because Porsche is dangerous. He’s a different type of unpredictable to Kinn, but it’s just as lethal. With time, he’ll master gun-play and everything else, but with that on top of that moral grey heart of his? I’m going to go out on the limb and say that he’ll become exactly what Kinn needs.
Or thinks he needs.
Could Kinn ever let someone he truly cares for step in front of a bullet for him? I mean, when the time comes?
Anyone notice just how close the guards are to the mafia sons? Like, some are friends.
Anyway, ep 2 was hilarious and cringy and exactly what we needed it to be.
…Is Porsche Bi? There’s a vague sense in this show that sexuality shouldn’t be labelled, which I adore but I’m also getting the impression that Porsche may not have been with a guy before. Again, I’m probably very wrong – someone let me know. Either way, it’s delicious.
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labyrinth-runner · 3 years
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“I might already be on me knees, but I’m still gonna make you say please.” Darkling x Fem!Reader
Title: Worth the Wait
Summary: Reader is insecure of their powers and their ability to be the sun summoner. General Kirigan assures them that they have what it takes.
Word Count: 2600
Warnings: It's sinful sunday folks. This is literally going to turn into smut. Unprotected smut. Marking.
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You'd been at the Little Palace for almost a month and by now you felt like you should have been making progress. They called you a Saint, and prayed to you so that you would be their deliverance, but who would deliver you? Who would save you? The weight of your responsibilities was almost debilitating on your shoulders. Most of the Grisha looked at you like you were so much better than them, like they could only dream of being you.
If only they knew the truth. You were a sham. You could barely manage to bring forth your power on the good days. Your arm had felt the wrath of Baghra's rage more than once this week.
Your power on your own was nothing like when Aleksander touched you. When his hand closed around your wrist, it was like your power would do anything for him. It bent to his will, and you were okay with that. The warm sureness washed over you and made you feel for one small moment that you might actually belong here. With the Grisha. With him.
The way he looked at you made you feel like you were more than you actually are. He made you want to live up to that look.
After another failed day of practice, you couldn't sleep. You tossed and turned in your comfortable bed, unable to relax. Eventually, you decided to get out of bed.
Your feet took you down to the main hall downstairs. The room was empty. Fires crackled in the hearths as their embers cooled from neglect. Your hand dragged along the tables, settling on the Darkling's seat. He had never used it in your time at the Palace, yet the Grisha fought over where they sat in relation to this chair.
There was nothing special about the chair. Its dark wood was smooth under your fingers. Casting a glance around, you pulled it out and sat, looking out over the empty chairs around you.
"It suits you," a voice said from behind you.
You jumped up, turning to see the silhouette of the General leaning against the open door to the war room. "I-I'm sorry, General."
"For what?" he asked, "For taking your rightful place? You should be sitting there, anyway. Not with the other Etherealki. You're not like them, Starling."
You blushed, looking down. "I know I'm not like them. They belong here. I don't."
"Come," he murmured, pushing the door wider for you to enter. "Let me set your mind at ease."
You passed by with bated breath, smelling the familiar scent of ash and cedar wash over you. Your eyes fell on the map resting on the table. The armies of Ravka were stretched thin, with enemies surrounding from all sides as well as from within. The door closed with a thud.
"Do you know why our enemies wish you dead?" he asked cooly.
"Because I am Grisha and Fjerdans hate our kind?" you replied.
His lips turned up slightly, "A good guess, but no. With your power, you can destroy the fold and reunite Ravka. A united country is stronger. We would loose less men, have more area to farm, and would have a better supply route. With you gone, we remain divided, an easy target for those who would wish Ravka harm."
You sighed, shoulders bowing forward. "I'm not capable of that."
"Not yet," he replied in your ear. His voice sent a shiver down your spine, "But you will be."
"How can you be so sure?" you asked, stepping forward out of his reach. Nervously, you rubbed your arms as you looked over the map.
"For a sun summoner, you surround yourself with darkness," he commented. A chill went through you as one by one the lights were consumed by pitch black night. "If you surround yourself with darkness, it's no wonder you can't find the light."
Your hair stood on end as you bumped into the table. Pieces on the war map toppled over. "If you're testing me, it won't work. There's no light here."
"There's no light in the fold, either," he countered.
"I'm not strong enough."
"Yes, you are." His voice was all around you, like the darkness. "You're just looking in the wrong places for the light."
"What do you mean?"
"You're a sun summoner. Your power comes from within. You need to stop looking outward for the power, the validation. The only person who can unlock your true potential is you."
"That's not true! When you touch me I-"
"When I touch you, I amplify what's already there. I make it easier for you to find it within you, but it's always been there, Starling."
You swallowed. The darkness was oppressive. Your voice was softer, less sure. "I can't."
"You can," he murmured. "All of those people believe in you. Why can't you believe in yourself?"
"Because they don't know me!"
"But they do. You are their Saint! The world has known you before you knew the world!"
"I'm no Saint. I'm just... I'm just me," you replied, frustrated.
"And what are you?"
"I..." Your mind was swimming. You used to say a member of the army. You used to say you were an orphan, someone without a place to belong. Then, after the incident in the fold, you were welcomed here. You wanted so badly to belong here. The Little Palace was everything you dreamed of. When you walked into a room, you were noticed. When you stood next to General Kirigan, you felt like an equal. You were no longer a nobody. You were a somebody. In the darkness, you reached for his cheek, and with precision you found it.
"I am Grisha" you replied, dragging your thumb across his cheek. Warmth surged through you as your power snaked it's way up to the surface. Your blood rushed in your veins. Every fibre of your being felt alive. You pushed away the darkness, surrounding you and Aleksander in a halo of light.
You pulled away from him and the room dimmed back to normal. His dark eyes focused on you, seeing you as he always had. His gaze was intense as you slowly backed away, your backside nudging the table.
"You're not just Grisha," he murmured stepping into your space. His hand reached up, his ring lightly grazing your cheek as he pushed a strand of hair out of your face. Your eyes fell from his to his lips. The air between you was charged. "You are mine, Starling."
His lips crashed against yours, his stubble tickling your skin. Your hands sunk into his raven hair to pull him closer to you. His large hands slid up your thighs, pushing your robe further up as they hooked behind your knees to lift you onto the table. Your back knocked over multiple little pieces, causing you to chuckle as his lips made their way down your neck to your clavicle. His thumbs drew lazy circles on the inside of your thighs as his lips trailed lower. Landing on his knees in front of you, his lips sucked marks up the soft flesh of your legs, inching the fabric further up.
"Are you scared?" he murmured, looking up from between your legs.
"Of you?" you asked, smoothing a lock of his hair out of his eyes. You thought back to all the moments between you, the pull, the charge, the familiarity of him. There was a crackle between your skin as your atoms grew closer, wanting to bond. You knew it now, you were two halves of the same whole. He was darkness, you were light. You could not exist without each other. Just as you could not know light without dark, you hadn't known yourself until you knew him.
"Starling?" he asked, pulling you from your thoughts.
"No," you admitted. "I'm not."
"Well, Starling, what do you want?" Aleksander asked, his fingers slipping up to hook around the band of your underwear, tugging down gently.
"You," you groaned, your head falling back to look at the ceiling as the cold air hit your skin.
“I might already be on me knees, but I’m still going to make you say please," he smirked, nipping your thigh.
"Please, Aleksander," you breathed, subconsciously opening your legs wider for him. "I want you."
The smug grin that you got in response made you bite your lip. His eyes seemed to get impossibly darker with desire as his hand slid up your chest to push you flat back against the table top. His other hand tugged on the bow keeping your robe closed, letting it fall open. He stood between your legs, taking in how you looked spread out over Ravka. All of it would be his from this moment forth: Ravka and you. The world was at his fingertips.
The anticipation was killing you as he gently dragged his fingertips down the valley of your chest before settling on your hips.
You had to wonder what he thought when he looked at you. Was this love? Or was it simply lust? When two beings such as yourselves existed, was there any other course to take besides falling for each other? When you were the only two beings who could potentially live forever, why would you fall for those who could die when like should end up with like?
"I've waited so long for you," he whispered.
"Then why wait any longer?" you asked breathlessly, propping up on your elbows. You had never felt more bare; more seen.
He tapped his fingers in a cadence on your thigh as one would impatiently tap a table. "You make a good point, Starling."
Reaching up, you grabbed ahold of the lapels of his coat, pulling him down to you. He rested his forehead against yours as your hands smoothed up his chest and over his shoulders to push the fabric off his body. Then, your sure fingers worked his buttons over with determination.
He grabbed your hands, bringing them up to kiss your wrists. The Darkling took over from where you left off, shedding his own shirt and pants until he matched you.
Hooking your heels around his abdomen, you pulled him closer. His hard length bumped against your slick. His eyes closed at the feeling.
Suddenly, it was if something had come over him. One hand gripped your hip as the other cupped the back of your head somewhat roughly to pull you into a kiss.
This kiss was different.
It was rough, passionate, but it wasn't all sunshine and roses. Part of it was frustration. Anger. Disgust at himself for not being able to be the cool, controlled Darkling he was known to be. He blamed you. He blamed himself for becoming undone by you.
You kissed him back with the same ferocity, but opposing emotions. Your kiss was a resignation, an acceptance that this was how the world should be. Your kiss was relief. Your kiss was love and admiration. Your fingers tugged at his hair, making him open his mouth to fight your tongue for dominance. It was a long battle, but you won. You twirled your tongue around his, soothing him. Your breaths mingled as one, a balance. Your breaths were tantric as he pulled your body flush against his.
Unexpectedly, he lifted you, carrying you towards his bedroom.
"What's wrong with where we were?" you asked softly as he placed you on his bed. It was softer than yours.
"I don't want to think of the war while I make love to you," he sighed in your ear. He pulled back to kiss you softly. "I just want it to be you and me. Here. Now."
Lining himself up with your entrance, he took a deep breath. He kissed you again as he entered. He wasn't forceful, but it was still an adjustment. He swallowed your noises of discomfort with his mouth, waiting for you to become accustomed to the feel of him. When you nodded, he started to move.
He started slow, rocking back and forth into you, kissing you as he did. His hand dipped down to push your knee towards your chest to increase the angle. He hit somewhere deep inside you, causing you to gasp. The gasp quickly turned into a moan as he hit the spot again and again. His pace quickened in speed and increased in roughness, but you liked it. Your body had taken worse beatings that left you feeling less pleasure than this before.
Your fingernails dug into his shoulder, looking to ground yourself. Deep within you, your power was surging, giving you energy that you spent on the Darkling. You matched his thrusts.
"Saints," he gasped.
You grabbed his chin, bringing his face back to look at yours. "I am yours. Take me as you want me."
His gaze was unfocused, seeing through you, but he nodded. His hips snapped into yours at a pace that shook the bed. Your hand gripped his hair tightly as he bit your neck, sucking a mark that you knew would be visible.
It was almost on the precipice of being more pain than pleasure. Your body was incredibly hot. A slight sheen of sweat glistened on your skin as you gasped for air from the exertion of it all. Every muscle in your body was pulled taut, like a slingshot ready to fire.
"Let go," he instructed in your ear.
You screamed his name. Your toes curled as a blinding light filled your vision and you saw stars. You saw the light within you, soaring up towards the heat of your inner sun until you could almost touch it.
And then you were falling. Crashing into a pool of cool darkness. The cold washed over your skin and you realized it was Aleksander's release. The darkness quenching the heat of the sun.
He slowed his pace, fucking you both through your orgasm until life came back into focus for both of you. You blinked through your daze until your vision cleared and you were back in the arms of the Darkling, resting on his bed.
The Darkling had lived a thousand lives before you were even born. Part of you wondered how often he had laid with someone like this, wondering how you'd compare to the rest.
He flopped on his back to catch his breath, chuckling as he stared at the canopy of his bed.
"That was...." He turned to look at you, a boyish grin on his face that you recognized as a happiness he never wore. "Worth the wait."
You let out a breathy laugh of your own as you turned onto your stomach. "Good. I'd hate to disappoint."
"You'd never disappoint, Starling." His smile softened as he reached up to hook his thumb under your chin.
Your eyes trailed down his body, looking at his chest and scrutinizing it for the first time. Scars marred his body. "I'm surprised you never had Genya erase those."
"They remind me of what I'm fighting for." He followed your gaze and sighed, the wall of sadness back in place, and also, you realized, grief.
You reached out to take his hand, kissing his palm. "The fight will be over soon."
He held his arm up so that you could tuck into his side. Hugging you into his side, he kissed the top of your head. "One way or another, Starling. One way or another."
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sunflowervolvimp3 · 4 years
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Content: an enemies to lovers au in which Harry and Y/N are forced into a cross country road trip to make it to their best friends’ wedding on time
Warnings: language, mentions of nsfw content
Pairing: Harry Styles x reader
Word Count: 20k 
A/N: I actually cannot believe that this is finally being posted over almost a month of working on it!! originally, I was going to make this one long stand alone fic, but once I hit 35k with no end in sight, I decided to split it into two parts so that it would be easier to read for you guys.  I’m hoping to have part 2 posted within a week, so keep an eye out for it!! this fic was partially inspired by this post by @avhrodite​ (thank you miss bailey!!) and can I just say that I had so much fun writing it!! I love road trips!! it makes me so sad that I had to split this fic because there are so many fun music scenes in the next part but those will all come in due time!! I would also like to give a big thank you to miss andrea @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy​ and miss alex @darthstyles​ for putting up with me bouncing ideas off of them and for proof reading for me!! and miss andrea again for editing this stunning header pic!! also everyone I tagged is a wonderful writer and if you’re looking for more to read after reading this then I HIGHLY suggest taking a look through their masterlists. and as always, if you like this fic, please like and reblog it!! and shoot me a message!! feedback is always appreciated, not just by me, but by all content creators <3
{masterlist}
also!! if you want to set the mood for a road trip with Harry, here is a link to the playlist that is mentioned and referenced in this fic!!
When she was a little girl, Y/N’s grandmother had told her about Murphy’s Law.  Grandma Sarah’s favourite activity was staring at her granddaughter over the kitchen counter, a knife in one hand and half an onion that she’d been cutting in the other, spouting various wisdoms at the young girl, who would often be sitting and peeling vegetables for her.  The old lady had hoped that, after being lectured enough times on life’s difficulties, Y/N might be able to avoid making the same mistakes that she had made in her own time.  She always had a list of advice that she’d cycle through, as if she were a record on a loop.
“Always look both ways before crossing the street.  Your great uncle Albert didn’t, and he never regained full function of his left hand.”
“Beauty fades, but there’s no shelf life on your mind.”
“The grass is always greener on the other side, so stop staring at it, and focus on taking care of your own lawn.”
All of the advice was, by any accounts, useful for anyone to know, especially a young girl.  Of course, sometimes the advice would get a little scrambled after Grandma Sarah had had a few glasses of wine, but even her tipsy thoughts were useful to Y/N in her later years.  To this day, Y/N still sets a glass of water on her nightstand before going out to a bar, and her hungover self is always grateful the next morning.  And Y/N had yet to find anything that smelled as sweet as a vanilla dabbed behind her ears and on her wrists when she runs out of perfume.  However, perhaps the most important piece of advice Grandma Sarah ever gave her came one afternoon when Y/N was eleven years old, and her older cousin Grace was due to get married the next week.
Grandma Sarah had cracked egg after egg into her mixing bowl, always without getting any unwanted pieces of shell in the egg whites, and gave her granddaughter a long look across the kitchen counter.
“When you get married, Y/N,” She had said, voice firm. “Remember Murphy’s Law.  Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible moment.  When Murphy’s Law comes into play, there’s nothing you can do except roll with the punches.”
Eleven year old Y/N had nodded her head seriously, as she always did when her grandmother told her seemingly important things.  The advice, despite its usefulness, however, didn’t stick around in her head, and Murphy’s Law didn’t cross Y/N’s mind for fourteen years.
It takes fourteen years for Y/N, who is standing in front of a flight check-in at LAX, two large suitcases next to her, one of which contains two gold wedding bands, passport in hand, and a distressed look on her face, to remember the law her grandmother had once told her about.
“When you get married, Y/N…anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible moment.”
Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Y/N pushes the echoing words of her grandmother out of her head. “I’m sorry, just—” She gives a pained smile to the lady working the check in. “Can you explain that to me again, please?”
The lady also takes a deep breath, the smile on her ruby tinted lips just as pained as Y/N’s. “There’s a storm system moving through Utah and Colorado.  These systems have the potential to become tornadoes, and because of that, the conditions for flying are too dangerous right now, so all flights through that area are grounded until further notice.”
“So my flight is cancelled?” Y/N holds up the ticket in her hand that’s stamped with LAX – JFK. “This flight, this flight to New York, which is nowhere near Utah—that’s cancelled?”
The check-in lady, whose name tag reads Brynn, gives another tight smile. “Yes, ma’am.  It’s cancelled.”
“Okay, no, I’m sorry, Brynn, but that doesn’t work for me.” Y/N shakes her head fiercely as the manic rush of emotions through her begins to set in.  The denial, she finds, keeps the oncoming panic at bay, and so she decides to focus on that to ground herself. “My best friend is getting married in the Catskills in one week.” Y/N holds up one finger, as if her words are hard for Brynn to understand. “That’s one week from today.  I’m the maid of honour.  I have to be there to help organize, keep her calm, and make sure she actually makes it down the aisle, because—between you and me—she’s got some commitment issues—” The more Y/N speaks, the more her panic begins to spill out in her words, like a dam with a leak that’s about to burst. “And she forgot the goddamn wedding rings, so I have those too, and I just—I really need to get to New York, like, now. Right now.”
Y/N finally pauses to take a sharp breath, and Brynn, who had been waiting for her to finish, speaks again, her voice flatter than before.
“I’m very sorry to hear that, ma’am, but as I said, all flights are grounded right now.”
Pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers, Y/N takes another deep breath.  Roll with the punches, her grandmother had told her.  What else is there to do? “Okay.” Y/N is careful to keep her voice in check when she speaks again. “Alright.  Do you know when they’ll be ungrounded?”
“As I’ve said,” Brynn’s smile is more of a grimace now, and Y/N knows that she’s treading on thin ice. “All flights are grounded until further notice.  We’re not sure when we’ll be able to open them again.  It could be a day, or it could be five.  If you’d like, I can put you down on a list to be called when flights are available again, but I’m afraid that’s the best I can do.”
“Let’s do that, then.” Y/N relents in a tired voice, already making plans to pick up a coffee on her way back to her apartment.  In the back of her mind, she begins to wonder if she has any Baileys Irish cream liqueur left in her kitchen cabinet—and if 8:30 A.M. is too early to be drinking Baileys with her coffee.
It takes Y/N two cups of coffee with Baileys (it had been 10 A.M. by the time she arrived home, thanks to L.A. traffic, and she had decided that 10 A.M. was a fine time to drink when one’s flight gets cancelled indefinitely) to work up the courage to call Jo and tell her that she isn’t sure if she’ll be able to make it to the wedding.
Josephine Waters, or Jo to anyone who doesn’t want to get punched in the arm, has been Y/N’s best friend since the girls were five years old.  They became fast friends on the first day of kindergarten, as Jo liked how Y/N could already colour inside the lines, and Y/N liked how Jo tackled a boy who tugged on Y/N’s pigtails.  From the very beginning, the two were a perfect match for each other; where Y/N was reserved, Jo was wild.  Where Jo was disorganized, Y/N was focused.  Each girl balanced the other in the most natural way, and it’s this fact that Y/N and Jo credit for the two of them staying friends for twenty years. As they grew up together, they grew together, taking the very best traits from the other and using it to help themselves develop.  Y/N had been the first person that Jo came out to, confessing to her best friend during an eighth grade sleepover in a quiet and nervous voice.  To Jo’s pleasure, Y/N had been completely supportive, and returned the favour from the first day of kindergarten by punching a boy in the nose for calling Jo a homophobic slur.  Jo helped Y/N through her parent’s divorce.  Y/N helped Jo manage her ADHD.  Jo talked Y/N through discovering her bisexuality in university. Y/N answered every 3 A.M. phone call to comfort Jo after a panic attack.  In every sense of the word, the two girls had been there for each other.
And now Y/N is going to miss Jo’s wedding.
The harsh realization digs a pit in her stomach as she opens her phone and clicks on Jo’s name.  It’s noon in L.A., which means it’s 3 P.M. in New York time, and Y/N knows Jo will answer.  She always does.
Sure enough, after three short rings, Jo’s voice chirps through the phone. “Hey, Y/N!  Has your flight landed already?”
“No, there’s—there’s been an issue.” Y/N downs another gulp of her coffee, wishing she had added more Baileys when she had the chance, and clears her throat before continuing. “There’s, um, a storm in Utah, and apparently it’s bad, and so all flights from L.A. to New York are grounded until further notice.”
Jo makes a scoffing noise, and Y/N can practically picture the indignant look on her face that she’s seen so many times before. “That’s ridiculous.  Did you tell them that New York is nowhere near Utah?”
“Uh huh.”
“What about that my wedding is in one week?”
“I told them that, too. Brynn didn’t seem to care.”
“Bitch.” Jo mutters under her breath. “Okay, just wait a second, Laure just walked through the door, so I’m putting you on speakerphone—”
Y/N hears rustling on the speaker, as well as muttering in the background as Jo speaks to her fiancée, and then Jo’s voice is back, sounding slightly more distant.
“Okay, so I told Laure what happened—”
“That’s awful, Y/N.” Laure’s voice is laced with stress, and Y/N can only imagine how much anxiety this information is adding to her already full plate. “They won’t tell you when flights will be leaving again?”
“Nope.” Y/N pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her free arm around them, leaning her head against the back of her couch.
“Okay, well, planes aren’t the only way to get here.” Laure says, always the more rational out of the two. “Maybe a car—?”
“Y/N doesn’t have one.” Jo chimes in, a hint of teasing in her voice, despite the serious problem that’s in discussion. “She’s scared of driving—”
Y/N sits up, an indignant look on her face. “I’m not scared of driving!” She says hotly, setting her empty coffee mug on the table with a thud. “I just hate L.A. traffic, and honestly, there’s no point!  I can walk to work, and Uber anywhere else I need to go!  A car would be completely useless to me!”
“Except now, when you’re about to miss your best friend’s wedding.” Jo points out. “What about renting one?”
Y/N sighs, her moment of indignation already fizzled out. “I tried that already.  There’s nothing available for a cross country trip.”
“And the drive is so long.” Laure murmurs, and Y/N knows it’s more for Jo’s benefit than hers. “It’s over forty hours.  She can’t do that by herself; it’s not safe.”
“But—”
“Look, Jo, don’t worry about this, alright?” Y/N cuts across her best friend’s anxious voice, assuming her usual role of protector. “I’ll figure this out.  I promise you; I will make it to your wedding on time, looking pretty in my dress, and with your wedding bands.  I promise.”
“We’ll keep thinking about it and see what we can come up with.” Laure promises through the phone, her voice sounding further and further away. “This is just—it’s a bump in the road, but it’s fine.  We can work around this.  We’ll find a way.”
The way that Laure finds for Y/N pounds on her door at 7:30 A.M. the next morning.
Y/N, like any exhausted and stressed out adult who has already begun her ten days of vacation time that she booked off for the wedding, is fast asleep in her bed when she hears the knocking.  The loud noise pulls her out from her dreams abruptly, and she cracks one eye open, squinting through the sunlight that’s lighting up her room.  When the knock echoes through her apartment again, she pulls herself from her sheets with a groan, grabbing her robe from the back of her door and tying it around herself as she makes her way to the front hallway to yell at whoever has the audacity to wake her up.
When she opens the door, Harry Styles is peering down at her with an irritated look on his face.
“Took you long enough, Y/N.” He rolls his eyes as he speaks, finally stepping back from the door that he had been pounding on a moment ago. “Are you ready to go?”
Y/N rubs her eyes, suppressing a yawn as she does so. “Styles, I have no idea what you’re talking about.  What are you doing here?” She demands.  She doesn’t have the energy to deal with him right now, she thinks, let alone the mental capacity to listen to anything he has to say.
Harry crosses his arms across his chest, and it’s then that Y/N notices the duffel bag strewn over his shoulder. “It’s a forty-two hour drive from L.A. to the Catskills.” Harry’s eyes scan over Y/N’s appearance, the very corner of his strawberry pink lips twitching, and Y/N tightens her robe around herself with a glare.
“A drive?” Y/N asks, uncertainty growing in her voice as she crosses her arm over her chest. “What are you talking about?”
“Your flight was cancelled, right?” Harry’s voice grows more impatient as Y/N’s half asleep brain struggles to piece together what’s happening. “So was mine, so I decided to drive to the wedding, and then Laure called me last night, begging me to take you with me.” He shrugs a bit, fixing his sunglasses on top of his head as his jade eyes scan over her appearance one more time. “Not my first choice of road trip partner, but I don’t think the best man can say no to bringing the maid of honour.  And splitting the cost of gas will be nice.”
“Okay, wait, I…” Y/N’s finally coming out of her fog of exhaustion, and the newfound clarity of her mind is causing a newfound pit to develop in her stomach. “Laure and Jo didn’t tell me any of this.”
“Well, I expect they’re a bit busy, given that they’re getting married in a week.” Harry adjusts the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder with a sharp sigh. “Look, are you ready to go or not?  It’s over a five day drive, so we need to leave as soon as possible.”
“I—yeah—” Y/N nods before taking a hesitant step back from the doorway, positioning herself to the side so that Harry can get by her. “I just have to get dressed and grab a couple last minute things, so…come in, I guess.”
Harry flashes an insincere smile to Y/N as he steps into her apartment, his eyes darting around at the furniture and home decor.  Y/N watches as his gaze lingers on her library of books, her yellow bicycle leaning against the wall, and every other little touch of herself that she likes her home to have, and she can see the judgement that’s clearly apparent in his eyes.
“You can sit, if you want.” She mutters, turning on her heel to go back to her bedroom. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”
The first thing Y/N does when she shuts her bedroom door behind herself is assess the situation in the analytical way that usually calms her.  Alright.  So a road trip across the country isn’t exactly ideal, and a road trip across the country with Harry Styles is even less ideal.  But, at the present moment, being stuck in a car with Harry seems to be the only sure way that she’ll be able to make it to Jo’s wedding on time. And for Jo, Y/N would put up with anything.  Even Harry.
As she rummages through her drawers for some leggings and a tank top, Y/N wonders what she could have possibly done to bring this much bad karma into her life.  While she gets dressed, her mind flickers back to Murphy’s Law, how everything that can go wrong will go wrong, in the worst possible way, and then she thinks about being in a confined space with Harry for five days, and—yeah.  That seems to be the worst possible thing she can think of.
Y/N remembers the first moment she’d met Harry seven years ago, and the unfortunate circumstances under which that meeting had happened.  Jo and Laure had just barely met back then, and Jo had begged Y/N to come out on a double date with her and “this really hot girl from my women studies class who I’m, like, 83% sure swings my way.”
Y/N had groaned at that comment, flopping back on her bed in the tiny dorm that she and Jo shared. “No! I have an essay due in three days that I haven’t even started!”
Jo rolled her eyes as she flopped down on Y/N’s bed as well, ignoring her own half-made bunk that was across the small room, favouring her best friend’s bed like she always did. “We both know you’re not starting that essay until the day before it’s due, and that it’s just an excuse because you don’t want to go!”
“I don’t want to go.” Y/N had agreed with a sharp and fervent nod.  She shut her laptop and pushed it to the side of her bed, knowing from experience that she wasn’t going to be able to focus and argue at the same time. “Why would I want to hang out with a complete stranger while you make googly eyes at a girl from your class?”
“Okay, first, I don’t make googly eyes.” Jo made a face at that comment, nudging Y/N’s calf with her own foot. “And second, he’s her best friend from high school, and he’s coming to visit all the way from London!”
“So?  He’s still a stranger!” Y/N pointed out, her eyes drifting to the sticky note covered novel beside her.  She picks it up and begins to flip through the marked pages as she speaks. “Knowing where he’s from doesn’t change that!”
“It should, because he’s only going to be here for a week, and Laure almost cancelled the date because she doesn’t want to miss spending time with him—” Jo grabbed one of Y/N’s pillows and tossed it at her arm, knocking the book from her hands. “Focus! So I said that he could come, but she said that she didn’t want him to be left out, so I said that I happen to have an incredibly beautiful and witty best friend who would be able to entertain Harry while we all hang out together.”
Y/N inhaled deeply as she gave Jo a withering look. “Did you already tell her I’m going?”
Jo, in return, gave Y/N her most dazzling smile. “Yes.  We’re meeting them for dinner at 7.”
Y/N shakes herself from her memories as she runs to her bathroom to toss her toiletries back into the bag she’d taken them out of the day before, working as quickly as she can. It does her no good to think of Harry in the past, she thinks, because the present Harry is currently sitting in her living room, probably snooping through her stuff, and the longer she takes to get ready to go, the more he’ll go through.  Not that there’s anything incriminating in her apartment, really—or at least, nothing incriminating in her living room.  When Y/N makes it back to her bedroom, however, to quickly zip up her suitcase, she does make sure she grabs her favourite vibrator from the box under her bed, tucking it between her half-folded underwear.  If she’s going to be gone for a week, she’ll need something to help her relax.
Within a few more minutes, Y/N is repacked and ready to go.  Her hunter green bridesmaid dress is carefully arranged on the very top of her clothes in her suitcase, all of her makeup and toiletries are packed inside, and Jo and Laure’s wedding rings are secured in little velvet boxes stashed between her socks.  As far as physical preparedness goes, Y/N is ready to go on a coast to coast road trip. As far as mental preparedness goes, however…that’s the thing that Y/N’s not quite sure about.
“What are you doing?”
Y/N glances at Harry from the corner of her eye, her hand still half stretched out to the radio dials in his car.  Although Harry’s green eyes are hidden behind his sunglasses, and his face is turned towards the long road in front of them, he still somehow manages to catch her motions, and it irritates her to no end.
“I’m changing the radio station?” Y/N answers after a moment, giving him a puzzled look. “I don’t know why you listen to this weird oldies station, but—”
“First of all—” Harry’s hands turn the steering wheel slightly to guide his car over the curve of the road, his jaw twitching as a smirk works its way onto his pink lips. “This isn’t a radio station, it’s my Spotify playlist.  I put a Bluetooth connection in Stevie a year ago. Secondly—”
“Stevie?” Y/N repeats incredulously, twisting her whole body as best she can to look at Harry straight on. “You named your car?  You’re one of those guys?”
Harry finally gives Y/N a flicker of a glance, the glare obvious in his eyes even behind his dark sunglasses.  He turns his attention back to the road before replying. “Secondly—” He continues from before, ignoring her comment as his right hand readjusts the gear shift. “Driver picks the music.”
Y/N makes a face, the corners of her lips pulling down into a grimace as she settles back into the passenger seat with her arms crossed. “So we’re just going to listen to ‘Tiny Dancer’ for the entire drive, are we?”
“Not the entire drive, no.” Harry flicks on his turn signal with a ringed hand before shoulder checking to change lanes.  Y/N glances at him, her eyes training on the strained muscles in his neck as Harry continues. “We’ll listen to ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,’ too.”
“Great.” Y/N exhales slowly and presses her head back into the seat’s headrest, closing her eyes as Elton John’s voice continues to float through the speakers. “Really looking forward to it.”
“You know, maybe you should try to sleep.” Harry says, his voice prickled with irritation as Elton John bleeds into The Zombies. “I think you’ll be in a better mood after you take a nap.”
Y/N readjusts her crossed arms as she mutters a short reply. “Don’t tell me what to do.” Still, she shuts her eyes again, twisting her body towards the window in an attempt to get comfortable enough to sleep.  Being in the car with Harry is already giving her a throbbing migraine, and they’ve only been on the road for less than two hours.  Sleeping through most of the trip will probably be the only way she’ll be able to survive it.
Despite that realization, however, her phone vibrates in her lap three minutes later, pulling her away from her thoughts.  Y/N glances down at the now lit screen, catching her bottom lip between her teeth when she registers the name on the message.  Opening her phone quickly, she reads over the reply as a guilty feeling begins to build in her stomach.
BRANT: Hey, what are you doing tonight?  Want to grab some dinner?
“What’s wrong?”
“Hm?” Y/N’s head snaps back up, her eyes jerking in Harry’s direction.  Like before, he’s watching her from the corner of his eye, catching every one of her movements, and the constant surveillance is annoying to no end.
Harry, it seems, is either oblivious to her annoyance, or is choosing to ignore it. “I asked what’s wrong. You have a weird look on your face.” Harry’s blunt words are accompanied by the sound of him tapping his ring covered fingers against the gear shift. “Everything alright?  Is it Laure and Jo?”
“No, it’s just—” Y/N glances down at her phone again, fingers poised over her keyboard as she crafts a reply in her head. “It’s no one.”
Harry snorts once, a short and harsh sound that grates against Y/N’s nerves like nails on a chalkboard. “I don’t buy that for a second.”
“It’s no one to you.” Y/N updates her retort, turning her full attention back to her phone. “My personal life is none of your business.”
Y/N: I’m sorry, I can’t!! Caught a last minute ride to New York with somebody.  Maybe once I’m back?
“Personal life, huh?” Harry clicks his tongue once, and the childish noise is even more irritating than his snort. “What, you can’t talk to me about whoever you’re shagging?”
The blunt remark hits Y/N like a shot to the chest, and she sputters for a moment as she struggles to form a response. “I—we’re not—” Taking a moment to gather herself and clear her throat quickly, Y/N avoids Harry’s gaze as her cheeks begin to burn. “We’re not like that. We’ve just…had a few dates, that’s all. There’s nothing…official.”
“You don’t need to be official to have a shag, now, do you?” Harry lifts his hand from the gear shift to fix his sunglasses, settling it back down on his jean covered thigh once he’s done. “If you don’t want to date the bloke—”
“I didn’t say that.” Y/N cuts over him, pulling herself from her embarrassment enough to give him a cold glare. “He’s very nice—”
“Boring, you mean—”
“And I—this is none of your business!” Feeling the flush of embarrassment rise back to her cheeks, Y/N once again turns her attention to her passenger seat window, avoiding Harry’s pressing gaze. “I’m done talking about this.”
Harry gives an indifferent shrug. “Whatever.” He says casually, tapping his finger against his thigh as his shoulders once again lift slightly beneath his fitted black t-shirt. “I just feel bad for the guy, that’s all.”
The comment is bait. And the thing is, Y/N knows it’s bait.  She knows that the only reason Harry is saying it is to get under her skin and keep her talking about Brant, further embarrassing herself in the process. She’s been around Harry enough to know how he works, and she knows that the only reason he would say that is to bait her.  She knows she shouldn’t take it.  And yet—
“There’s no reason to feel bad for him.” Y/N scoffs as she fidgets with the position of her seatbelt, trying to stop the strap from cutting into her chest. “We’ve been talking for a month, and there’s nothing official happening.  Just because you can’t go that long without trying to stick your dick in someone—”
“You have no idea what I can do, Y/N.  Don’t pretend that you do.” Harry’s tone of voice is just as scoffing as hers, his eyes still set on the road in front of them intently as he gives his sharp response. Y/N watches as he shifts the gears of the car and speeds up, just enough to make the engine roar, but not enough to lose control of the car.  Part of Y/N wistfully wishes that he would just slip up and crash the car, just so she wouldn’t have to continue this conversation.
“All I meant,” Harry continues, unaware of the dark daydreams running through Y/N’s head. “Is that I feel bad that you’re clearly not interested in him, which is proven by the fact that you haven’t wanted him in your bed.”
Irritation flares through Y/N’s body again, stronger than the embarrassment of discussing her sex life (or lack thereof) with Harry, and she half considers just grabbing the steering wheel and yanking it into a passing cliff so she can finish them off herself. “For Christ’s sake, Harry, sex isn’t the only way to—”
“I don’t mean actually having it, that’s not a given.” Harry rolls his eyes from behind his sunglasses as he slows down for a curve in the road, his practiced hands once again changing gears with ease. “You don’t have to fuck him.  But you should want to, especially if you’ve had a month of dates, and you clearly don’t want to.”
Y/N doesn’t hide the incredulous stare of disbelief on her face as she turns to look at him. Harry’s face, though turned towards the road still, has a look of amusement mixed with contemplation on it, and it takes all of Y/N’s self control not to smack the expression off of him. Although there’s the ghost of a smirk on his strawberry coloured lips, his brow is furrowed behind his sunglasses, as if he’s thinking hard about the conversation between them.  Normally, Y/N would be amazed that Harry is thinking hard about anything.  However, given that their conversation is apparently turning into whether or not she wants to have sex with someone, Y/N’s not too thrilled about his sudden investment and serious contemplation of the topic.
Shaking her head decidedly, Y/N finally spits out a finishing phrase. “You don’t know what I want.” She says decidedly, reaching into the backseat to grab the sweater she stashed back there.  She clumsily pulls it over her body without taking off her seatbelt.  Harry keeps the AC cranked as high as he can, and she knows that he’ll kill her if she tries to change it. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know more than you think.” Harry counters, the tip of his tongue running along his bottom lip. “And I’m pretty good at reading body language.  You don’t really want him.  He—what’s his name?”
Despite her better judgement, Y/N answers in a flat voice. “Brant.”
The corners of Harry’s cherry lip twitches. “Brant.  Yeah. It’s clear you don’t really want him, and you’re wasting your time.  You’re wasting his time, too.  Poor Brant.”
“Poor—you’re such an ass, you know that?” Y/N’s irritation bubbles over as she gives Harry a nasty look, her hand squeezing her thigh hard in an attempt to ground herself in their conversation. “You can try to pretend otherwise, but you don’t know anything about me, or him, so—”
“You think I’ve been friends with Laure and Jo this long and haven’t learned anything about you?” Harry cocks an eyebrow, risking a glance at her as he presses a heavier foot onto the gas. “I told you, I know more than you think, and that includes your type.”
An incredulous scoff leaves Y/N’s mouth, and she shakes her head in obvious disbelief before responding. “My type.  Right. What is my type, then?  What’s Brant like, exactly, since you seem to know everything?”
Harry goes quiet then, his brow furrowing again as he returns his full attention to the road.  With his incessant chatter gone, the only sounds in the car being “Maps” playing quietly in the background and Harry’s ringed index and forefinger tap on the steering wheel.  Y/N breathes out a long sigh of satisfaction as she relaxes back in her seat, her attention turned back to the blurred landscapes speeding by her window.  Finally, she’s managed to get Harry to stop with his ridiculous assumptions—
“You like someone that’s stable and secure, so he probably works in some corporation, or an office job. Majored in business, I’d think, but has a minor in something like mathematics.” The side profile of Harry’s nose wrinkles in disgust at the thought. “He wants to work his way up in the company, but never wants to actually start anything on his own.  He likes the stability of a blueprint. You’re obsessed with punctuality, so he’s probably always on time to pick you up for dates—and he has to pick you up, because you don’t drive—and your dates are never really dates. Dinners, or movies, or something like that, but they never really have that spark.” Harry’s shoulder lift slightly as he continues to make his conclusions. “Which, honestly, is probably a big reason in why you don’t want to fuck him, because as much as you like stability and safety, you also like the idea of a grand gesture, or something like that.  And you probably split the bill a lot at dinner, right?  Because it just seems fair, but really it’s because you know it’s not a real date.  But it passes the time, and he’s nice, so it’s fine.  But it’s only fine.” Harry licks his lips once more as he collects his next thoughts, his teeth catching his bottom lip just barely as his tongue retreats back into his mouth. “And he’s probably already talking about you coming to meet his family for some holiday.  Not in a romantic way, but just because he likes to plan everything in advance to every minute detail.  Just like you.”
Halfway through Harry’s speech, a flush had begun to creep up Y/N’s neck, continuing to warm her jaw and ears before settling on the apples of her cheeks.  She keeps her eyes trained on her window and her mouth pressed into a tight line, refusing to look at Harry and give him any hint of just how shocked she is that he’s guessed so much.
Harry, however, doesn’t plan on letting her get away from his inquisition. “Well?” He impatiently prompts after a moment, and even though she’s not looking at him, she can feel him looking at her, his emerald irises burning into the back of her head. “Am I right?”
“I—” Y/N clears her throat quickly, but her voice is still strained and tight when she replies. “No.”
Harry hums low in his throat, and his voice is laced with curiosity with he replies. “Really?” The irritating tap of his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music continues. “What did I get wrong?”
“He—” Y/N hates the way her skin is burning from his interrogation, how her voice shrinks smaller and smaller the more she speaks.  If Harry knows her so well, then he knows how much she loves being in control, and in this situation, with Harry managing to pull every one of her most secret inner thoughts and feelings out of her without trouble, she feels anything but in control. “He has a minor in accounting, not mathematics.”
The laugh that leaves Harry’s mouth is loud and bombastic, and his whole body curves over the steering wheel as the sound rolls out of him, his eyes just barely managing to stay on the road while his sunglasses slide down his nose. “Right.” Harry says between belly laughs, his voice stretched out in amusement. “But everything else was spot on?”
Y/N keeps her stiff body turned towards the window, refusing to engage in the conversation any further. That doesn’t stop Harry, however, who fixes his sunglasses as chuckles continue to roll out of him.
“I take it back. Maybe he’s the one wasting your time.” His hand runs through his hair lazily, fixing the curled strands that had fallen into his eyes as he laughed. “I don’t blame you for not wanting to sleep with your bore of a boyfriend—”
“He’s stable!” Y/N breaks her silence to protest Harry’s words, her voice heated. “And he’s not my boyfriend.  We’ve been seeing each other, but we’re not—it’s not exclusive, or—nothing serious—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.  It’s fine.” Harry waves off her arguments with a flick of his tattooed hand. “Besides, like you said, it’s none of my business, right?”
Y/N can practically picture what Harry looks like in this moment.  His chestnut curls are probably a mess from fidgeting with them, and his cheeks are most likely rosy beneath his stubble from the peels of laughter that left his equally red lips a moment ago.  Most infuriatingly of all, his dimples are probably present, making little indentations in his cheeks to show how entertaining he’s found embarrassing her. Bastard, she thinks, clenching her fists so hard that her nails dig into her palms, pressing them into her sides beneath her makeshift blanket.
She refuses to let herself confirm if her suspicions about Harry’s appearance are correct, and instead keeps her gaze on the blurred trees whipping by outside her window. “Right.” She mutters, leaning her head against the headrest as she closes her eyes. “It’s none of your business.”
As soon as the paint-peeled door to the motel room swings open, Y/N knows that she’s not going to be sleeping soundly tonight.
She’s not sure what her first hint should have been.  Perhaps it was the half-flickering blue and red light of the Motel 6 sign that should have tipped her off, or the front-desk attendant who looked as though he was hiding a few secrets himself.  When Y/N and Harry had first approached the front desk of the tiny, vaguely mildew-smelling lobby, their clothes rumpled from the drive and their attitudes just as bothered, the employee in the Motel 6 uniform had barely raised an eye at them, not bothering to look up from his computer until Y/N and Harry were directly in front of him.
“Hi.” Harry had said, his voice taking on a cautious but polite tone that, Y/N remembers thinking, she would have appreciated hearing throughout their eight hour drive that day. “We’d like two rooms, please—”
“Here.” The attendant’s gum snapped in his mouth as he reached behind himself and grabbed an old key with a flimsy blue plastic tag from a wall of empty pegs. “Queen sized bed, the first door on the left.  It’ll do you two nicely.”
“Um, no.” Harry cleared his throat loudly as he gave a slight shake of his head. “We need two rooms.”
Finally, the attendant looked towards them, his eyes scanning Harry before Y/N.  The latter had self consciously pulled her sweater around her, as there was something in the attendant’s eyes that had bothered her. “Don’t have two rooms.  I got one room left.  Everything else is booked.”
Harry had glanced at Y/N then, and she knew that his thoughts mirrored hers: there was no way that they’d share a queen bed together.  No way in hell.  They’d barely survived eight hours in the same cramped car without one of them driving them off a cliff.  If Y/N had to share a bed with Harry, even for just one night, she’d probably end up smothering him in his sleep before the first snore left his obnoxious mouth.
“That’s really not an option.” Y/N had stepped forward then, crossing her arms around herself as the attendant’s eyes canvassed her again. “Isn’t there something—”
“Look, lady, I’m telling you what’s available.” The attendant’s eyes continued to flicker between her face and her chest, making Y/N’s skin crawl more and more with every word that fell from his gum-filled mouth. “The room might have a pull out chair—some do, but I couldn’t tell you which.  Now do you want to share the room with him or not?  If you don’t want to share, then I could try to find something else for just you—”
Before Y/N had the opportunity to respond to the lewd suggestion, Harry was already stepping forward, his body angling protectively in front of her own.  She watched from behind as his broad shoulders squared beneath his black t-shirt, his shoulder blades flexing as he straightened up to his full height.  When Harry answered, his voice was just as firm as it was dark, lacking its previous polite tone.
“We’ll take the room.” He had said coldly, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his wallet before tossing a few bills on the front desk. “Thanks for the help.”
Yes, Y/N thinks, all of that should have been a sign for the state of the motel room that they now find themselves standing inside.
The same mildew smell from the lobby surrounds them, permeating through every inch of air that Y/N breathes in. Dust seems to coat every surface as well, with thick layers of it covering the decades old TV and stand, the small coffee table, and the ledge of the window to her right.  To her relief, there is a small arm chair in the corner, which must be the pull out that the attendant had mentioned.  However, her relief is short lived when she sees the ratty beige comforter on the bed, and wonders if maybe sleeping in Harry’s car, which she had sworn to him that she didn’t want to do, might have been the better choice.
Harry shuts the door behind them with a firm thud, turning the deadbolt lock before attaching the chain from the door to the door frame. “Let’s keep that locked, yeah?” He mutters, walking to the window and making sure the beige curtains—everything in the room is a sea of beige, like some sort of khaki coloured nightmare—are pulled closed tightly. “I don’t trust that front-desk prick not to sneak in here.”
Y/N nods, fixing the strap of her duffel bag with her overnight clothes on her shoulder.  She’s not quite sure where to set it down, as everything around them seems to have been sitting stagnant and uncleaned for a while. “Yeah. Thanks, by the way.  For that.”
Harry acknowledges her thanks with a small grunt, barely lifting his head to look at her. “You don’t need to thank me.”
Despite her gratitude for his actions, Y/N can’t stop herself from rolling her eyes at his gruff response. “Jesus, can you not just say you’re welcome?”
Harry chooses to ignore her comment, and instead sets his bag down on the arm chair, unzipping it roughly. “You can take the bed.” He says simply, tossing his sunglasses into his bag before pulling out a small bag filled with what Y/N assumes are toiletries. “I’ll take the pullout.”
“Fine.” Y/N reluctantly sets her own bag down on the creaking bed, pulling back the covers to check for anything unsightly.  To her relief, the interior of the bed looks cleaner than the exterior, and she returns the covers to their previous position before grabbing her phone charger from her duffel.
Harry glances at her as she gingerly sits on the bed and plugs her phone into the wall. “I’m going to shower.” He says slowly, as if gauging her reaction to the simple phrase. “Do you, um, need in there, or—?”
“Nope.” Y/N shakes her head, her cheeks flushing slightly as she checks her messages. “You’re good.” She keeps her eyes glued to her phone until she hears the click of the bathroom door behind Harry, signalling that she’s alone.
Taking advantage of what she knows will be a rare moment of solitude over the next week, Y/N changes from her tank top and leggings into her pajamas, wishing that her past self had realized how likely it would be that she’d be sharing a room with Harry. She’d brought exactly two pairs of pajamas with her on the trip, and neither pairs were something she wanted Harry to see her in.  The first pair, a baby pink silk set she’d bought on a whim from her favourite lingerie shop, is eliminated before Y/N even considers them, leaving her with just her usual casual pajamas.  Unfortunately, Y/N’s usual casual pajamas consist of an old sports bra that she’d had since moving to L.A., and a pair of men’s boxers that she stole from an ex in college.  Still, despite her hesitancy, she knows that plaid boxers and a faded grey sports bra are better than pink silk and lace, and she changes into them quickly before sitting cross-legged on the bed and dialing Jo’s number.
Jo, like she usually does, answers on the third ring, her voice extra chipper to compensate for the verbal lecture that she knows is coming. “Hey, Y/N!  How was driving today?”
“It would have been better if I’d known Harry was driving.” Y/N sighs, rubbing her palm over the cold skin of her exposed thigh. “Shouldn’t I have been informed of that decision?”
“It completely slipped my mind, actually.” Jo says casually, and Y/N can just picture her leaning her chin into her palm. “How was the first day?  Are you calling to ask me to help bury his body in the desert?  Because, like, you know I would in a heart beat, but I think it may put a damper on mine and Laure’s nuptials if my best friend murders her best friend.”
“No one’s been murdered. Yet.” Y/N glances at the bathroom door, the sound of the shower echoing through the vents and into the bedroom. “Although a ‘help me hide the body’ phone call may be coming soon.”
“Uh oh.” Y/N hears something crackling against the speaker, and pictures Jo shifting the phone from one ear to the other. “Is it that bad?”
Y/N pinches the bridge of her nose as she contemplates the easiest way to answer Jo’s question. “He’s such an irritating ass.  He really is.” She lowers her voice, but only slightly.  If Harry’s eavesdropping, she thinks, then let him hear.  It would serve him right. “He wanted to pick a fight over every little thing, and he’s so particular about his car—did you know he named it?  He named it, Jo.  He talks about it like it’s a person!”
A loud sigh echoes through the speaker. “That’s really not that weird, you know.” Jo replies in her best peace keeping voice. “And, by the way, did you know that you’re really the only person who finds Harry irritating?  Laure adores him, and I really like him, and everyone who meets him thinks he’s very thoughtful!”
“Then they haven’t been trapped in a car with him and his playlists for eight hours.” Y/N begins to tap her fingers against her knee in a quick staccato pattern. “He practically interrogated me about Brant today, as if he has any clue about the people I date.”
“Did he?” There’s a trace of curiosity in Jo’s voice now, and Y/N can imagine her leaning forward in interest. “What did he say?”
“He said he thinks he’s boring.” Twisting a lock of her hair behind her ear as she speaks, Y/N leaves her hand resting against her cheek. “He was rude about it, too.  I didn’t ask for his opinion.”
“Well, honestly, Y/N…” Jo’s curiosity twists into hesitation. “Brant isn’t exactly the most thrilling person.  You know that.”
Y/N tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, her cheeks flushing for what seems to be the millionth time that day. “I’m aware of that.  But he didn’t need to be so smug about it!”
“Okay, well, what’s done is done.” Jo says as she takes on her mediator persona once again. “So there’s nothing else to do now except go to sleep, get back in the car tomorrow, and continue driving.”
The sound of the shower stream cuts off, leaving just the pitter patter of rain beginning to hit the roof of the motel as ambiant noise. “I guess.” Y/N mumbles, fidgeting with the waistband of her bra. “I’ll talk to you later.  Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
After the line clicks dead, Y/N flops back on the squeaking mattress and begins to scroll through her phone, opening her work email to check if everything is running okay back home while she’s gone.  On top of all this, the last thing she needs is for her work to completely blow up in her absence.  Within minutes, Y/N becomes so engrossed in her phone that she doesn’t even notice the bathroom door creaking open and Harry walking out with just a towel around his waist.
Until she looks up, and then her mind goes completely blank.
Immediately, Y/N feels overstimulated.  There’s just…so much going on that she doesn’t even know where to look first, let alone have the ability to remind herself that she shouldn’t even be looking at Harry like this in the first place.  
Harry’s curls are soaking wet, curling down around his flushed cheeks in a way that, if it were anyone else, she’d immediately describe as attractive.  Droplets of water are clinging to every inch of his skin, his toned and tanned and tattooed skin, that seems to continue forever as her eyes travel down his bare chest, noticing every curve of his muscle.  His jade cross, which is almost the exact shade of his eyes, sits between his pronounced pectoral muscles, moving ever so slightly with each step he takes.  Y/N notices tattoos she’s never seen before, like the giant butterfly across his toned stomach, and—her mind goes blank for just a moment—two vines that are tattooed over his prominent pelvic muscles, which just barely dip beneath the white towel that’s wrapped loosely around his hips.
As Y/N’s eyes glue themselves to the way Harry’s towel is moving as he walks, arousal begins to pool in her stomach, travelling all the way down to her core and back again.  For a split second, she thinks that maybe Harry is right.  Maybe she doesn’t want to fuck Brant, because she knows for certain that she’s never thought about him the way she’s thinking about Harry in this moment.
But it’s Harry, she reminds herself, as she tries to force herself to snap her gaping mouth closed. Underneath all those muscles and tattoos—and there are a lot of muscles and tattoos—it’s Harry, who annoys her to no end, who is one of the most self-absorbed individuals she’s ever met, and who has had it out for her since the day they met.
“Sorry.” Harry’s low accent snaps Y/N from her thoughts and pulls her wandering eyes back to his face. “Forgot my clothes out here.”
“It’s—” Y/N’s voice cracks in the middle of the word, still hyper-focused on just how it’s possible for one person to be as attractive as they are irritating, and she clears her throat before trying to speak again. “It’s fine.”
If Harry notices the slip in Y/N’s voice, he doesn’t say anything.  Instead, he just walks to his open bag, locking one hand firmly over his towel as the other searches through his clothes.  He pulls out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, examining them for just a moment before nodding in satisfaction and heading back to the bathroom. Y/N almost swears that she sees him glance at her one last time before he shuts the door, but then she gets lost in the taut muscles of his back, and forgets what she’s thinking entirely.
She’s only just begun to contemplate that maybe she should pull herself together when the door opens again, and Harry exits the bathroom in a way that’s a little more presentable.  His hair is still damp, but his body is dry, proven by the faded Rolling Stones t-shirt that’s now clinging to his arms and the boxers that are hanging low on his hips. His tattooed hips.  His incredibly sexy tattooed hips that could probably—
“What are you wearing?” Harry asks, raising an eyebrow at her as he moves his bag from the chair to the ground.  He begins to unfold the bed from the armchair cushions to reveal a creaking twin bed, carefully stretching it out as he waits for an answer.
“I—pajamas.” Y/N glances down at herself self consciously, fixing the strap of her sports bra as she does so. “I just—I didn’t think we’d be sharing a room, so…”
Harry nods tersely as he finishes setting up the bed, his expression unreadable while he walks to the closet and grabs a set of sheets and a blanket. “Cute boxers.” He says casually. “Are they Brant’s?”
Within a flash, the intense rush of attraction and desire Y/N had been feeling is gone, and is instead replaced by the familiar irritation as she watches a smirk grow in the very corner of Harry’s mouth. “No.” She says flatly, turning her attention back to her phone.
“Interesting.” Harry says slowly, laying the sheets and blanket on the bed in a haphazard manner. “Whose are they, then?”
Y/N gets up from the bed and grabs her toiletry bag from her duffel before answering. “An ex.” She says shortly, tucking the patterned bag under her arm. “And why does it matter to you?”
The sound of the rain against the roof and windows gets louder and louder as they speak, and Harry raises his voice to be heard over the precipitation. “It doesn’t.” He shrugs as he maneuvers his lanky body under the blanket without causing the bed to fold in on itself. “Just curious, that’s all.”
“Well, you don’t need to be curious.” Y/N opens the bathroom door, sparing one last withering glance at Harry over her shoulder.  He’s sitting up on the bed with one leg hanging out from beneath the covers as one hand plays with his hair, the other fiddles with a ring on his finger, and the way he looks at her from the corner of his eye lights a fire in Y/N’s chest.  Except she can’t tell if it’s a fire of anger or arousal.  
When she slams the door behind her, it’s her own confusion over that distinction that frustrates her more than anything else.
“Took you long enough.” Harry scoffs while leaning against the side of his car, his white t-shirt a contrast to the dust covered body of the black Chevy Impala.  His dark sunglasses are perched on top of his head, keeping his unruly curls out of his eyes, while his arms are crossed over his chest impatiently as he waits for an answer. “I dropped off the keys ten minutes ago.”
By way of explanation, Y/N holds up the cardboard drink tray in her hands, a brown bag balancing in between the two coffee cups. “I was getting us breakfast, Styles.  Calm down.” She walks to the passenger side of the car, opening the door and climbing in one handed. “I figured you’d be even crabbier hungry.”
“You mean you’d be crabbier without caffeine.” Harry retorts, climbing into the driver’s side in one smooth motion. “Here—” He takes the tray from her so she can buckle her seatbelt, carefully removing the two coffees and setting them in the cup holders between them. “Just be careful not to spill anything.”
Y/N rolls her eyes as she picks up the coffee closest to her (she’d gotten them both black). “Why? Worried about me ruining Stevie?”
Harry reaches into his pocket, pulling out his keys as he gives her an irritated look. “Yes, actually. I’ve put a lot of work into her.” The car roars to life as Harry turns the key in the ignition, buckling his own seat as the motor warms up. “Adding on two thousand miles to her in five days is already worrisome enough, and that’s not even counting the other two thousand she’ll get on the way back.”
Y/N doesn’t respond to the comment, and instead lets the sound of Harry’s playlist fill the silence of the car as Harry peels out of the Motel 6 parking lot.  She’ll be glad to leave that place behind, she thinks, and focus on finding something better—and more private—for tonight, wherever they end up.
Harry, however, doesn’t seem content with letting silence fall between them. “How did you sleep last night?” He asks after a few moments, one hand on the steering wheel as he takes a sip of his coffee.
Glancing at him from the corner of her eye suspiciously, Y/N reaches into the paper bag and grabs her Danish, taking a small bite before answering. “Not great.”
“Was the bed bad?” Harry asks curiously, his brow furrowing while his eyes stay glued to the road, moving only to glance at the occasion sign directing him back to the highway. “The pull out wasn’t great, but I’ve slept on worse.  I would’ve thought the bed would be better than that.”
“No, it—I mean, the bed wasn’t amazing, but it—” Y/N clears her throat and swallows the bite of pastry in her mouth. “I, uh, I don’t sleep well when it’s raining.”
At this new information, Harry’s eyebrow quirks up, and he risks a look in her direction to attempt to read her face.  Y/N’s own eyes are focused on the Danish in her hands, refusing to meet his gaze as she lifts the pastry to her mouth to take another bite.
“You don’t?” Harry asks after a moment, the confusion in his voice almost visible within the space between them. “But it’s like white noise, isn’t it?  Supposed to be relaxing, and all that.”
Y/N gives a half shrug of her shoulders. “It’s—well, it’s not the rain, exactly, just—what it’s usually paired with.” Y/N hopes that her clear hesitancy to answer will be enough of a signal to Harry for him to drop the subject.  Harry, however, doesn’t seem to pick up on the reluctance in Y/N’s voice; or, at least, he doesn’t care enough to acknowledge it.
“What do you mean, what it’s paired with?” Harry takes a small sip of his own coffee, careful of the temperature of the liquid. “Like…wind, or—?”
Y/N debates back and forth with herself internally, but she knows that Harry won’t drop the subject without getting a satisfying answer. “Thunder.” She answers finally, setting her coffee down in her cup holder before turning her gaze towards her window. “I don’t like thunderstorms, ever since I was a little kid, and when it’s raining, it always feels like thunder is around the corner.  Puts me on edge, like I’m waiting for it.  And I can’t sleep.”
“So you never sleep when it rains?” Harry asks slowly, and the tone of incredulous disbelief in Harry’s voice is enough for Y/N to be able to imagine the expression on his face. His forest green eyes wide, strawberry pink lips agape, brow furrowed in confusion, his jaw slack as he contemplates a response to a grown woman admitting that she’s afraid of thunder. The image in her head is enough to make the back of her neck flush.
There’s a tightness in the back of her throat, and Y/N attempts to clear it again before answering. “Never.”
“Huh.” Harry taps his fingers against the gear shift in succession three times. “You’d hate London, then.”
The casual comment catches Y/N by surprise, but she doesn’t allow herself to lower her guard. “That’s why I don’t live in London.” She mumbles the words as her fingers pick at the napkin wrapped around her Danish. “I picked L.A. for a reason.  It has lots of heat, barely any rain, and I’m reasonably close to Disneyland whenever I feel like I need something magical.” The last part slips out without Y/N thinking, and the flush creeps further up her neck as a surprised laugh leaves Harry’s mouth.
“Something magical?” Harry repeats, new crinkles appearing next to his eyes as he laughs, as if the dimples that crease his cheeks aren’t proof of his amusement enough. “Do you frequently feel like you need something magical?”
It’s Y/N’s turn to give an incredulous look now, her body half twisting towards Harry to observe his confusing reactions. “How did I just admit that I’m afraid of thunder, and the thing you’re focusing on is that I like Disney?”
Harry shrugs at her words, flicking on his turn signal to exit towards the highway. “I don’t know.” He says as he peers over his shoulder to check for oncoming cars. “I mean, everyone has fears.  Not liking thunder isn’t exactly uncommon, you know.  However, hearing that Ms. Serious Type A Perfectionist likes magic—” His grin grows bigger by the second. “Now that’s surprising.”
“Oh, shut up.” Y/N mutters, finishing her Danish in a few more bites.  She waits until she’s entirely finished chewing before continuing the conversation over the voice of Billy Joel coming through the speakers. “Since I’ve admitted something I’m afraid of…” She starts, glancing at Harry from the corner of her eye. “I think it’s only fair that you admit something, too.”
Harry snorts in response, his hand freezing its movement with his coffee cup still half lifted to his lips. “Is that so?”
“Mhmm.” Y/N hums as she slips off her shoes in order to pull her legs beneath her to fold into a cross-legged position on the car seat. “Not so much fun when it’s your turn, huh? C’mon, what’s the Brit scared of? Not enough biscuits for afternoon tea?”
A short and harsh breath of air leaves Harry’s nose, half a snort as he sets his coffee down in his cupholder. “No, actually, diminishing biscuit levels are a low level fear for me.”
“Then what’s a higher one?” Y/N prods, watching as Harry’s neck muscles tense as he shoulder checks to change lanes.  There’s something about the movement that catches her eye, but she can’t quite figure out why—or rather, she can, but she’d rather pretend that she’s unaware.
“Uh…” Harry’s fingers nimbly switch on his turn signal before he transitions to the left lane, his right hand moving the gear shift to its desired place. “Crowds.  I’m not a fan of big crowds, really.  Like when everyone’s pressed together, so tight that you can’t breathe, and you can’t hear yourself think because it’s so loud…yeah. I don’t like that.”
The simple answer surprises Y/N as much as she imagines her answer surprised Harry. “Crowds?” She repeats back to him, a forgotten memory of long gone conversations coming to the forefront of her mind. “But what about, like, concerts and stuff?  Laure always told me when she’d go to shows with you…”
“That’s different.” Harry shrugs as one of his ringed hands comes to his lips, rubbing over them slowly as he contemplates his next words. “I…When I’m at concerts, I always go with someone, and if we’re in the general seating area, where there’s a lot of people, I always stick with them.  Like, sometimes, if it’s getting crowded, or people are pushing, Laure will hold my hand, so…” Redness begins to creep up Harry’s pale neck, staining the tops of his ears a deep berry colour as he trails off.
Not for the first time since their conversation began, Y/N is surprised at how candid they’re being with each other.  As she watches Harry’s blush grow, she feels her own diminish, a physical representation of her trading her embarrassment for something more empathetic.
“I get it.” Y/N says after a moment, once it’s clear that Harry isn’t going to continue. “When there’s thunderstorms, um, I feel better when I’m with someone, or talking to someone. It makes me feel less…”
“Alone?” Harry finishes for her, his eyes flickering from the road to her profile.  His green irises capture hers for longer than they should, his focus completely gone from the stretch of highway for at least five seconds before Harry’s attention turns back to driving. “Yeah.” He says slowly, pulling his sunglasses down from his hair to hide his eyes. “Yeah, less alone. It helps.”
Y/N nods slowly, unable to look away from Harry’s side profile.  It’s apparent that he’s on edge after their conversation, and she knows her body language is the same.  Tight in the shoulders, hands clenched, back rigidly straight.  And yet, seeing her own body language reflected in front of her bothers her.  Part of her wants to reach out and take Harry’s hand, soothe him like Laure does in the crowd of a concert, but she knows that’s ridiculous.  It’s ridiculous, and it’s Harry, and Harry, of all people, does not need her comfort.  Not in the slightest.
She watches as Harry clenches his fist on top of his thigh.
“Is this really necessary?” Y/N asks, slamming her car door shut as Harry does the same on the other side of the vehicle.  She leans over the roof of the car, crossing her arms on the cool metal as she tilts her head to the side in an inquisitive manner.  The clouds in the sky are getting darker by the minute, signalling the beginning of the storm that canceled her flight, and the angry black colour above their heads is making Y/N anxious.
Harry, however, seems unbothered by the gathering storm, and nods tersely as he pushes his sunglasses up onto his head before opening the door to the backseat and grabbing his army green jacket. “Of course it’s necessary.” He says, slipping the jacket over his broad shoulders before slamming the door shut and locking the car. “I’ve never been to Utah before.  I want a souvenir.”
“Okay, but—” Y/N follows Harry as he walks towards the dilapidated building in front of them. “Here? Really?  Does this seem like the best place?”
Harry glances at her over his shoulder at her, pausing his long strides to look up at the building he spotted from the highway.  If the chipped grey paint that was once pastel blue and dust-coated windows are any sign, the structure is probably older than Harry and Y/N combined, with a splintered front porch wrapping around its small perimeter.  The building has one faded sign above the door that reads “SOUVENIRS/SNACKS” in hand-painted capital letters, and seems to be hanging onto the outside façade by three small bolts and sheer willpower.  Y/N’s almost certain that she’s seen this exact building in a horror movie before someone gets murdered, and while getting back into the car with Harry isn’t at the top of her list of wants, it’s certainly preferable to getting stabbed to death by a serial killer.
“It’s fine, Y/N.” Harry waves off her concern without a second thought about the appearance of the shop. “If you’re really bothered, you can wait in the car.”
Y/N considers it for a moment, but decides against it.  She needs to stretch her legs, and honestly, Harry seems too trusting.  He probably wouldn’t be able to tell if someone was sketchy until their knife was in his back.  And, seeing as how he has the keys to the only getaway car available, Y/N kind of needs him around without a stab wound carved into his flesh.
“Let’s just get this over with.” She sighs, pulling her own jacket around her tighter as she steps over the worn wooden steps to the door. “We’re on a schedule.”
When Harry pushes open the door, the smell of stale air hits Y/N before anything else.  Despite one open window and a fan in the corner of the shop that’s being used in a weak attempt to circulate the air, it feels like nothing fresh has been in the shop for a while.  Y/N shoots a glance at Harry, caution and warning written all over her face.
While Harry sees her glance, he waves off her concern, turning his attention to the few shelves and wire racks around the small shop that are lined with inventory.  Within a few moments, he’s entertaining himself in the post card section, comparing different photos of the Utah landscape to each other with great care and concern.  Y/N observes him for a few moments before wandering off on her own towards the snack section of the shop.  Although there are a few items that she thinks about picking up, the thick layer of dust over the packaging puts her off from purchasing them.  She grimaces as she continues walking, stopping in front of a tower of silver key chains in the back corner of the shop.  Most of them, she finds, are crosses and bible verses, and all of them give her an ominous feeling in her stomach.  Y/N runs her finger over a miniature silver version of the Ten Commandments, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she does so.
“I think we should go, Harry.” She calls to him without turning around, setting the key chain back down on the rack carefully. “Just pick your post card and—Harry?”
When Y/N turns around, Harry’s broad figure is nowhere to be seen.  She walks back over to the post card section slowly, her brow furrowed with confusion as a knot tightens in her stomach.  Where could he be? She wonders, running her hand along the dusty wire rack in front of her.  It’s not like there’s anywhere for him to go in the small shop, and she would have heard if he left, or if he drove away.
“Harry?” She calls again, her steps slower now as worry fills her voice. “Where did you—fuck—!” Y/N screams as something grabs her from behind, its fingers digging into her sides harshly.  She whips around to find Harry standing over her, loud outbursts of laughter spilling from his strawberry pink mouth at the look on her face.
An indignant flush rushes over Y/N’s face. “You’re such an ass!” She hisses, gripping his shoulders and shoving his laughing frame away from her. “I swear, you’re like a five year old—”
“Did I worry you?” Harry snickers between his words, a wicked look of mischief alight in his dark green eyes. “Were you afraid something happened to me?”
Y/N’s cheeks burn with anger as she turns away from him, crossing her arms defiantly. “No.  I wish something had happened to you.  Then I wouldn’t have to deal with your immature antics.”
Harry’s lips stay quirked up in a smirk as he follows her, his voice falling into a singsong tone. “You were worried.” He insists, chuckles still rolling out of him every few moments. “I could tell.”
“Oh, fuck off.” Y/N snaps at him in an irritated voice. “Just pay for your stupid post card and let’s go.”
“I already did. There’s a sign on the desk saying the clerk is out for lunch, so I left some money.” Harry nods to the small desk in the corner with a few dollars left tucked under the dusty service bell. “I think that’ll cover it, yeah?”
“Whatever.” Y/N can’t resist shoving Harry one last time before walking towards the shop door. “That’s enough.  Let’s go. I want to make it to the motel before the storm hits.”
The nice thing about Grand Junction, Colorado, Y/N realizes, is that their motels have multiple single rooms available on short notice.  While she didn’t realize the importance of this fact before this trip started, having an evening of solitude and her own stable space away from Harry for the first time in two days is nothing short of a blessing.
When she gets inside her private motel room, which, while still shabby, is leagues above their previous motel, Y/N locks the door before breathing a sigh of relief.  Just the silence in the room is wonderful, and even though she knows Harry is right next door, having a wall between them is a luxury that she doesn’t take for granted.  When she showers, she doesn’t have to worry about being quick, or toweling off as fast as she can so she can get dressed inside the bathroom without Harry seeing. There’s no need to worry about anyone hearing Y/N sing quietly to herself under the (albeit weak) stream of the shower, nor is there an uncomfortable stick of her sports bra to her back caused by water droplets that she couldn’t reach in her hurry to dry off. And after her shower, with some of the knots from her back finally worked out, Y/N is able to stretch out on the double bed in the center of the room, her phone in her hand as she reaches for the takeout menus stacked on the bedside table.  She peruses the menus available before settling on Chinese takeout, and within five minutes, her order of a two entrée plate and fried rice is on its way.
Y/N sighs gently as she leans back on the pillows, wishing that she and Harry had stopped at a liquor store before coming to the motel.  She knows she could probably walk to one, but now that she’s showered and comfortable, the last thing she wants to do is wander around Grand Junction until she finds a bottle of Moscato.  Instead, Y/N flicks on the TV with a click of the ancient remote, and begins scrolling through the channels until she finds a rerun of Dirty Dancing that’s just starting.
An amused yet wry smile appears on Y/N’s lips.  It’s this movie’s fault that she and Harry are on an impromptu road trip, really. Jo and Laure both loved it, and were insistent that they had to get married at a resort in the Catskills similar to one from the film.  As her two friends cross her mind, Y/N settles into the sheets as Baby begins her narration, contemplating whether or not she should call Jo to check in.  Just as the thought pops into her head, however, the phone rings.
Y/N answers within a moment, not bothering to check the caller ID.  She and Jo had a strange habit of calling each other the moment the other thought of it, and when she raises her phone to her ear, she expects to hear her best friend’s familiar voice reply. “Hello?”
What voice she actually hears, however, surprises her. “Hey, Y/N.  I’m glad I got through.” Brant says easily, his voice crackling slightly through the speaker. “How are you?”
“Brant!” Y/N jerks up in bed in surprise, the remote falling from its perch on her stomach onto the sheets. “I—I’m fine.  How are you?”
“Oh, alright.  Just busy with work, but that’s the usual.” Y/N can practically picture the neutral expression on his face, and how he’d shrug his shoulders as he speaks. “How’s the road trip?  I can’t imagine driving for as long as you have to drive.”
“It’s…it’s alright, yeah.” Y/N speaks slowly as she puts her phone on speaker, balancing it on her knee while her hands begin to fidget with her rings. “Long, but not too bad.”
“Well, that’s good.” Brant clears his throat thickly, as if what he’s about to say makes him uncomfortable. “I miss you, though.  And our weekly dinners.”
A feeling of guilt washes over Y/N.  Truthfully, besides Harry’s inquisition on the first day of driving, Brant has barely crossed her mind.  Granted, he isn’t usually at the forefront of her mind while she’s in L.A., either, but for the last few days, her thoughts have been constantly consumed by the stress of making it to the wedding and her annoyance and frustration with Harry.  
“Y/N?” Brant’s voice crackles through her speaker again. “Are you there?
“I—yeah.” She says quickly, pulling herself from her thoughts. “Sorry, just—long day.  I’m tired.”
“I can imagine.” Brant says sympathetically, but there’s something in his tone that almost sounds patronizing. “Who are you driving with?  Have you been taking turns?”
Y/N pauses the fidgeting of her rings before snatching her phone from its balanced place on her knee. She quickly opens her messages and scrolls to her thread with Brant, searching through the text bubbles for a reminder of what she’d said to him.  Had she not told him that she was traveling with Harry?
Within a moment, Y/N confirms that she hadn’t.  All she had said was that she was getting a ride with someone.  Why had she done that, she wonders?  She’s sure she’s mentioned Harry in passing to Brant at least once.  When she talked about the wedding, probably.  As she thinks about it more, however…what had she told Brant about the wedding?  About Jo? How much does he actually know about her personal life?  Most of their dinner conversations revolve around work, or some book both of them have read.  Had the topic ever come up in detail?
“I’m, um, I’m driving with one of Laure’s friends.” Y/N brings the phone closer to her mouth as her other hand works its way to her mouth.  She begins to chew on a hangnail absentmindedly between her words, something she always does when her nerves begin to get to her.  She can’t count the number of times Jo has grasped her wrist and pulled her hand from her mouth to chastise her about the habit. “We’re…we’re in Colorado now.”
“Oh, Colorado.  That’s nice.” Brant says over the rustling of papers. “Listen, Y/N, I’ve got some work to get back to, but I’m glad we had this talk. I’ll call you again soon.”
“Uh, yeah.  Sure.  I’ll talk to you later.” Y/N nods, and then the line goes dead.  Out of curiosity, Y/N checks the length of the call.  The time 3:09 blinks back at her.
Tossing her phone back down on the covers, Y/N resumes her relaxed position in bed, despite being anything but relaxed after that phone call.  She should feel guilty, she thinks, for not telling Brant about Harry. But then again, what’s there to tell? She said she was getting a ride with one of Laure’s friends, and that’s true.  She hadn’t lied.  And even if Brant did know that the friend is Harry, why would he care?  It’s just Harry.  There’s no reason for Brant to be alarmed, because there’s nothing going on. And she and Brant…Y/N glances down at the call time again.  Things are different between them.  There’s…they’re comfortable as they are, she thinks.  They’re not dating, and they’re comfortable like that.  So there’s no reason to tell him about Harry, because there’s nothing to tell.  Nothing at all.
Y/N refocuses on the TV screen, where Patrick Swayze is dancing in a tight black tank top. Right.  Nothing to tell.
When Y/N leaves her motel room the next morning with her bag over her shoulder, Harry is already waiting by his car, leaning against the dusty black body with two coffee cups in his hands.  He’s dressed in another black t-shirt (Y/N wonders just how many identical copies of the same shirt Harry has) with usual jeans covering his long legs.  His curls are tied out of his face with a dark green bandana, and Y/N knows that if his eyes weren’t covered with his black sunglasses, the bandana would make them even brighter than they usually are.
“Hey.” Harry calls to her, extending a ringed hand that holds a coffee cup towards her as she walks over. “I got the coffee this morning.  You drink it black, right?”
Y/N nods as she takes the cup from him, careful not to brush over his fingers with her own. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“No problem.” Harry crosses around to the back of the car, opening the trunk with a turn of his key. “Here.” Harry holds out his free hand for Y/N’s bag, taking it from her and setting it down on top of the suitcases in the back. “I got it.”
Y/N regards Harry with a bemused look as she wraps both hands around her coffee cup. “Thanks?” She says again, more questioning this time as she looks at him strangely. “I can do that myself, you know.”
“I know.  I’m just trying to be polite.” Harry’s voice takes on its usual bite like he’s flipping a switch. “Is that alright with you, princess?”
Within a second, the familiar irritation with Harry returns to Y/N, and it’s almost comforting to snap back at him in a testy voice. “Don’t call me that.”
Harry snickers under his breath, and although the sound makes Y/N’s annoyance grow, she detects a different tone in it than a few days before.  Before she can place a finger on why it sounds different, however, Harry is climbing into the driver’s side of the car and starting the engine.
The two of them are silent as Harry finds his way back to the highway, and they stay in that silence for the first few hours of that day’s leg of the trip.  As the third hour begins to pass, Y/N is content listening to the throaty and captivating voice of Stevie Nicks fill the cab of the car. By the second chorus of the song, Y/N is humming along quietly, her foot tapping to the same beat that Harry’s fingers are spelling out against the steering wheel.  It’s comfortable, she thinks after a moment.  The silence between them.  It feels different than it did on their first day, when Y/N was questioning her choice to get into a car with Harry and commit to a 42 hour drive. The silence seems to be fueled more by comfort than tension.  It’s…refreshing.
A memory from the first day ignites in the back of her mind, a spark so bright and obvious that she can’t believe it took her so long to see it. “Stevie.” Y/N says suddenly, turning to Harry as a smile spreads over her face. “You named your car Stevie, as in Stevie Nicks?”
Harry laughs, his shoulders moving up and down beneath his black t-shirt from the motion.  One hand lifts from the steering wheel and points a finger gun at her. “Took you long enough.  I was wondering how many days you’d have to listen to my music to get it.”
Y/N gives his hand a light shove. “I was too distracted by the fact that you named your car.” She rolls her eyes, bringing her bottle of water to her lips for a short sip. “I still think it’s weird.”
“It gives her character.” Harry defends himself as he rubs a hand over the steering wheel absentmindedly. Y/N can see the mirth swirling around in his light irises. “A bit of personality.  Just because you don’t value personalities doesn’t mean anyone else doesn’t.”
“I don’t value personalities?” Turning in her seat to stare at Harry head on, Y/N raises an eyebrow in question. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just your taste in men, that’s all.” Harry says it casually, like it really can just be a “that’s all” type of sentence.
Within a heart beat, the comfortable atmosphere in the car turns to ice as Y/N straightens in her seat, her spine tense, tightening every nerve in her body along with it. “What the fuck does that mean?”
When Harry glances at her again, his eyes darken, his guard going up as he senses the shift in Y/N’s tone. “Nothing, just…motel rooms have thin walls.” Harry mumbles, having the decency to keep his eyes on the road as his ears redden slightly. “And from what I overheard, Brant doesn’t exactly seem…stimulating.”
Y/N sputters indignantly for a moment, unable to form a coherent response as anger rises in her chest. “You—” She sucks in a quick breath that hits the back of her throat harshly. “You eavesdropped on me?”
Harry licks his lips once, clearing his throat once before answering.  The tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel has resumed, his nervousness apparent in his movements as well as his facial expressions. “Not on purpose.  I told you, the walls were thin.”
“So put in head phones!” Y/N exclaims, gripping her water bottle so tight that her fingers begin to strain in protest against the metal exterior.  She has half a mind to throw the bottle at Harry in her anger, barely able to talk herself down from the ledge of the idea.
Harry’s posture shifts in his seat as his shoulders square, and Y/N can practically see his defensive side emerge from within his chest. “It’s not like you two were having phone sex.” He rolls his eyes at the idea. “It was the most boring conversation in the world, and lasted, what, three minutes?  Makes you wonder how long he lasts in other ways, doesn’t it?”
“Stop the car.” Y/N’s voice is low and void of emotion as she replies, her body turned back forward in her seat.
“Am I wrong?  It’s not like you know for sure—”
Anger bubbles over in Y/N’s chest, cancelling out any rational thought she has inside her and leaving pure, unadulterated fury. “Stop the car, Harry!  Now!”
Harry half jumps in his seat when Y/N yells, and he quickly jerks the car to the side of the highway without so much as a turn signal.  Pulling her seatbelt off as he pulls over, Y/N is out the door before Harry can so much as put the car into neutral.  While her more rational mind would tell her that she has nowhere to walk to along a highway in Colorado as the sky darkens to an angry black above them, the only thing she’s thinking of is getting away from Harry.  Stupid, self-absorbed, ignorant, and rude Harry.
“Y/N—” The sound of Harry scrambling out of the car and slamming the door behind him pushes her to walk faster. “Y/N, come back—”
Y/N turns around on her heel fast and hard, heart pounding so fast that she thinks it might break through her ribs. “What is your problem?” She hisses, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Why do you insist on being so—so nasty about him?  You don’t even know him!”
Harry freezes where he is as the wind whips his hair around his face, his bandana barely keeping the messy curls in place. “I don’t—” His speech falters, and he sucks in a sharp breath before continuing. “I don’t think I’m being…nasty.”
“Well, you are!” Y/N takes a deep breath in, placing her hands over her stomach as it expands with air.  It’s a trick that Jo taught her back in high school, as a way to ground herself to her body. Feeling the movement of air in and out of her lungs helps calm her, even if by just a fraction. “Brant is just—he’s someone I’m talking to.  We’ve gone on dates, but we’re not dating, and even though we’re not dating, that doesn’t mean that you can insinuate things about him, or eavesdrop on our private conversations!”
Harry’s jaw tenses as he listens to Y/N speak, waiting until she’s finished her speech to respond in a harsh and clipped tone. “I already told you, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. And I’m teasing you.  It’s supposed to be a joke.  Isn’t that what friends do?”
“But we’re not friends, Harry.” Y/N’s voice is flat, the fury in her tone replaced with a hollow emptiness. “We’re not friends.  I don’t need you teasing me about a boy like we’re buddies, or whatever, because we’re not.”
Although Harry opens his mouth to respond, no words cross over the edges of his pink lips.  His jaw tightens even more as he closes his mouth again, and Y/N can see a million things flitting through his green irises, which are getting darker by the moment.  Y/N’s not certain if the darkness is from her words, or the black sky rolling above them that’s sapping the light of day from the atmosphere, and she’s not sure if she can take the answer either way.  Part of her knows that maybe—just maybe—she’s blown this whole thing out of proportion, and maybe she should examine why Harry making fun of Brant bothers her like it does.  It’s not like she’s unaware of his shortcomings, she thinks, but then she wonders why she’s now seeing them as shortcomings, when a week ago, she saw them as positives.  Y/N never has to worry about Brant being too much for her, or forgetful, or scatterbrained—he’s organized, and secure, and stable, and that’s what she likes.  It’s always been what she likes.
Harry’s delayed response tears Y/N from her thoughts. “Not friends.  Got it.” He mutters, rubbing his hand over his stubbled and taut cheeks. “Just get back in the car, then.  Let’s go.”
“Hello!  My name is Gracie, I’ll be your server today.” The waitress in the tiny diner smiles at Harry and Y/N, a notepad in one hand and a half filled coffee pot in the other. “Can I get you guys anything to start?”
“Coffee.” Harry and Y/N speak at the same time, each person’s eyes flickering to the other before looking away.  Y/N keeps her eyes focused on her off-white ceramic coffee cup as Gracie fills it, refusing to make eye contact with Harry again.
The last hour has been almost unbearable.  After they got back in the car, Harry had turned off his playlist, and for the first time since the road trip had begun, true silence had fallen between them. Y/N had thought she would like it, but truthfully, it had been the worst thing she’d ever heard.  Every few minutes, she’d hear Harry shift, or sigh, or tap a tense finger against the gear shift, and she wished that she could say something, but she didn’t.  She couldn’t.  She’d been grateful when he wordlessly exited the highway and parked in front of a diner, as the conversations of stopped truck drivers and the clatter of a kitchen was a good distraction from their argument.
A movement in the corner of her eye catches her attention, and Y/N glances up just enough to watch Harry slip a pat of butter into his coffee, stirring the contents of the cup with his spoon until it’s melted together.  She wrinkles her nose in disgust, and almost opens her mouth to make a comment (“Really, Harry?  Just add milk like a regular person, instead of drinking a cup of grease.”), but bites it back before it can fall off her tongue.  They’re not exactly in the position to make quips to each other, she thinks, especially after she told him that they weren’t friends.
Which they’re not. They’ve never been friends; that fact isn’t exactly news.  Not getting along has been Harry and Y/N’s signature since the day they first met. So why is there a pit in Y/N’s stomach that gets deeper every time Harry looks away from her?
The click of heels alerts Y/N of Gracie’s returned presence before her voice does. “Have you two decided what you’d like to eat?”
“I’ll have a turkey club, please, on whole wheat bread.” Harry folds up his plastic menu carefully. “And a glass of water on the side.”
Gracie nods, taking the menu from him before turning her eyes to Y/N. “And for yourself?”
“Um—” Y/N had barely glanced at the menu, too lost in her thoughts to think about it. “I’ll just have a burger, please.  And a water, as well.”
Gracie nods as she writes down the order, taking Y/N’s menu and giving the pair one last smile before disappearing to the kitchen.  A fresh wave of silence falls between Harry and Y/N as each of them sips their coffee, both of them doing their best not to look at the person sitting across from them.
Y/N’s best, however, is not up to her usual standard, as she can’t stop herself from stealing a few quick glances while Harry looks out the window.  He hasn’t shaved in a couple days, she notices, as the stubble on his cheeks and chin is even darker than it was the day before.  There’s a permanent crease between his eyebrows, his face as tense as she’s ever seen it, and a darkness over his whole expression overall. It’s like there’s a new wall up between the two of them, and Y/N’s never felt more detached from him.  Which, honestly, is saying something.
She’s looking back down at her own half empty coffee when Harry finally speaks a few minutes later, his voice just as tense as his expression.
“Shit.” He says in a low voice, and then the next sound Y/N hears is that of someone ruffling through pockets.  
She looks up to see Harry doing just that, his hands digging through the outer pockets of his army green jacket. “What?” She asks, her curiosity outweighing her need to continue the silent treatment. “What is it?”
“I had the vows in my—my pocket, but they’re—” Harry jams his hands inside a pocket sewn into the lining of his jacket, and Y/N watches as his face visibly relaxes. “Oh, thank God. I thought they fell out.”
Harry removes his hand from his pocket, two folded up notes clutched within his hand.  Each one is labeled carefully, one with Jo written in Laure’s neat penmanship, and the other with Laure scribbled in Jo’s quick writing.  
Y/N recognizes the papers immediately.  It’s easy, really, considering the amount of time she spent helping Jo rewrite draft after draft of the same sentiments. “You have Jo and Laure’s vows?” She questions, her eyebrows raising in surprise. “Why?”
“The same reason you have their wedding bands.” Harry shrugs as he turns the papers over in his careful fingers, making sure not to crease them. “They forgot them.”
A small smile plays on the edge of Y/N’s lips at the memory of her forgetful friends. “Right.  Of course.”
Harry’s eyes flicker to Y/N’s mouth at the sign of movement, and he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth before responding. “Want to take a look?”
“At their vows?” Y/N looks around, as if someone could be watching and monitoring them. “I—that doesn’t seem right.”
“Fine.  Then don’t look at them.” Harry says easily, setting the note labeled Laure on the table between them.  His nimble fingers unfold the paper labeled with Jo’s name as his green irises begin to scan across the sheet. “I’ll read them.”
It only takes a few seconds of watching Harry read over the words for Y/N to crack. “Wait.” She brings her thumb to her mouth, chewing anxiously on her cuticle as Harry quirks an eyebrow at her. “Will you read them to me?”
When she asks, Harry spends so long staring at her that Y/N thinks he’ll refuse.  His jade eyes meet hers with an intensity that almost makes her flinch, but Y/N holds his stare, refusing to be the first to back down. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Harry gives a sharp nod, looking down at the note before he starts to read from the beginning.
“‘My darling Jo’,” He begins, his voice soft and low, his accent thick. “‘It seems so strange that this day is finally here.  I feel like we’ve been building up to it ever since the day we first met, and yet it’s always seemed so far away.  When I was a little girl, I always’…” Harry trails off as his eyes continue to move across the words, and he clears his throat before attempting to continue to read aloud. “‘I always thought that there was something wrong with me.  I thought that the things that I felt, and the way that I loved, was dirty.  I thought it was wrong.  I thought that—that I was going against God, and against nature, and that I was going to be punished for it.  And then I met you’.”
Harry pauses to take a sip of his coffee, and Y/N does the same.  There’s a shine beginning to appear in his eyes, and Y/N recognizes it as the beginning of tears because she feels the same thing brimming in her own eyes. She feels a bit guilty for reading the vows, but reasons that it’s for the best.  If she were to hear them for the first time at the wedding, she doesn’t think she’d be able to keep it together.
“‘The moment I met you, I knew that the way I loved could never be wrong, or be dirty, because I was loving you’.” Harry’s accent grows thicker the more he reads, and although Y/N hasn’t seem Harry in many different emotional states, she can tell that this is a sign of how the vows are affecting him. “‘Being with you could never be wrong, and God could never get mad at me for it, because only God could create someone as perfect as you.  I promise to love you when you wake me up at 3 A.M. because you’ve stolen all the blankets, and I promise to love you at 6 P.M. when you almost burn down our apartment while trying to cook for me.  I promise to support you through everything, listen to your stories, and watch in wonder as you make a difference in this world.  I promise to never let my anger get the best of me, and to always give you the benefit of the doubt.  I promise to love every version of yourself that you grow into, just as I’ve loved all the versions you once were.  I promise to love you in every way humanly possible, and even in ways that aren’t humanly possible.  I promise to love, period.  I’—” Harry’s voice cracks, and he glances up at Y/N as he clears his throat to continue. “‘I love you’.”
Y/N doesn’t realize just how emotional listening to Harry read Laure’s vows has made her until the first tear wells over the corner of her eye.  She turns her head towards the window to wipe it away as quickly and inconspicuously as possible, but from the way Harry is looking at her when she turns back around, she knows that he caught what she was doing.
“That, um—” Now it’s Y/N’s turn to attempt to clear the emotion from her throat. “Wow.”
Harry carefully folds Laure’s vows back up, taking extra care to re-crease the paper exactly how it had been folded. “I didn’t know she…felt like that.” Harry says after a moment, his voice quiet. “Like she was…wrong.”
Y/N, unsure of what to say, just nods while reaching for Jo’s vows in front of her.  Like Harry, she takes great care when unfolding the paper, smoothing it gently between her hands. “I’ll read Jo’s, then?”
Harry nods as he takes a sip of his water. “Sure.”
Y/N licks her lips once, wetting them with what little saliva she has in her mouth before beginning. “‘Laure’,” She starts, emotion already rising up to form a lump in her throat. “‘I don’t even know where to begin.  I’ve tried to write down all the ways I love you a million different times, but I can never seem to find the right words.  The problem is, I don’t think that there is a big enough word to describe what I feel for you.  ‘Love’ is only four letters, and four letters is just not enough to contain everything I feel.  ‘Adoration’ is nine letters, but even that doesn’t come close.  I think the best way I can describe it is ‘permanent’.” Y/N pauses her reading to take a long gulp of water, the coolness soothing the dry and parched feeling in her mouth and throat. “‘Anyone who knows me knows that I have trouble committing.  The idea of having something forever, of being in one place, normally terrifies me. But the idea of having you forever, and being in one place with you forever…that’s all I want.  I want us to be permanent to each other.  Even when we struggle, and we will struggle, I know that we won’t fall apart.  Committing to you isn’t any trouble.  It’s as easy as breathing.  I’m sure of you, and I’m sure of us.  I love you, permanently.  I’ll love you when you’re sick and gross, and I’ll love you when you’re old with a bad hip.” A small laugh falls out of Y/N’s mouth before she continues. “I’ll love you when you haggle at flea markets for the best prices, and I’ll love you when you do something so stupid that it makes me want to tear my hair out.  I love you permanently, and I want all of our family and friends to witness me saying that.  I’ll never back out, or bail, or run away from you.  You’re the one thing in my life that’s never felt hard. You’re my home base, and my north star, and you bring me back down to Earth whenever I need it.  I love you permanently, Laure.  I’ll never stop’.”
As she finishes reading, Y/N folds the paper back up, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand before grabbing the other note sitting on the table.  She pushes them towards Harry, her misty eyes unable to meet his. “Here. Put these away again, somewhere safe.”
Harry takes the vows from her, slipping them back inside his inner jacket pocket for safekeeping. “It’s probably—” He clears his throat once more, and Y/N knows that the vows have caught him in his chest just as they’ve caught her. “It’s probably good that we read them now, so that we’re…prepared for the ceremony.”
“Yeah.” Y/N wraps her hands around her coffee mug, the warm ceramic surface heating her cold fingers. “You’re right.  They really…love each other.”
Harry taps his fingers against the table top, a concentrative and thoughtful expression on his face.  His eyebrows are knit together above his stormy green eyes, and his pink tongue swipes over his pinker lips once before he speaks. “You know, Laure is my closest friend.  I don’t want her to get hurt.”
Immediately registering the tone of Harry’s voice, Y/N’s head snaps up, her own eyes becoming stormy as they meet his own. “Jo would never hurt Laure.” Y/N says defensively, the hairs on the back of her neck pricking up at even the suggestion of her friend hurting someone. “Didn’t you hear her vows?  I’ve never heard her sound so sure of something in her entire life.”
Harry’s jaw flexes at the cadence of Y/N’s voice, and his is just as agitated when he responds. “I’m just saying, if anything ever happened—”
“And I’m just saying, it won’t.” The tension between them doubles as Y/N shoots Harry an icy glare. “Do you just look for the worst in people?  Is that all you do?”
“You think I look for the worst in people?  Really?” Harry barks out a harsh laugh, pressing one hand flat against the table as the other fixes his bandana. “Christ, if that’s what you think of me—”
“Why would I think anything else?” Y/N asks incredulously, tilting her head to the side as she regards him. “All you’ve shown me is—”
“Alright, I have the turkey club on whole wheat, and the burger here.” Gracie appears suddenly to Y/N’s right, her tray loaded with food. “Here you guys are…” She sets the plates down in front of Harry and Y/N, her gaze darting between them nervously as she reads the tension in the booth. “Is…there anything else I can get you two?”
“No.” Harry’s voice is hard. “We don’t need anything else.”
By the time Harry pulls the car into a motel just off the highway in Lexington, Nebraska, all Y/N wants is a moment alone.  The strained atmosphere during that day’s drive had been unbearable, and between the anxiety from her confrontation with Harry and the sound of thunder beginning in the distance, Y/N just needs some space to herself to relax and calm down.
Of course, just because that’s what she needs, doesn’t mean that she’s going to get it.  When Harry returns back to the car with a single key in his hand and a sour look on his face, Y/N knows for sure that the universe is against her.
This room, at least, she’s pleased to find, has two actual beds, which are pushed up against the wall perpendicular to the door with a small night table between them.  However, that’s where her pleasure stops, as the click of Harry turning the lock behind her just reminds her that she’s trapped in here, with no chance to get away from Harry, the oncoming storm, or any one of her problems that have developed over the last four days.  The reality of the situation hits her all at once, and it takes all of Y/N’s self control to toss her bag on the bed and walk brusquely to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her before she allows herself to show a sign of her emotions.
The rest of the evening passes in silence.  She showers before changing into her sports bra and boxers, but the amount of exposed skin sends a vulnerable shiver down her spine.  Y/N opts for pulling a sweatshirt over her body, and then sets herself the task of braiding her hair to distract herself.  After that’s done, she busies herself with her skincare routine, taking up as much time as she can in the bathroom before she absolutely has to leave its private interior.
Harry, however, seems to want to see as little of Y/N as she wants to see of him, and pushes past her to enter the bathroom the moment that she steps out of it.  His routine, it seems, is designed to take up just as much time as hers was, because by the time Harry exits the bathroom, the scent of his shampoo trailing behind him, Y/N is already tucked under the covers of her bed, although she’s far from asleep.
In the time it took for her to shower and get ready for bed, the storm had picked up, and the only thing audible in the room was the sound of rain pelting against the roof and window, the wind howling through the trees, and Y/N’s shallow, uneven breaths. She wraps the sheets tightly around herself, pulling them taut to her chin with clenched fists that tighten every time a clap of thunder echoes through the room.  Although she’s turned to face the wall, away from Harry, she can hear his footsteps pause as he gets a glimpse of her shivering form beneath the blankets, and she does her best to will herself to appear asleep.  Breathing in as deeply as her tight chest will allow her, Y/N attempts to even her breathing, forcing her shoulders rise and fall in a way that appears natural and normal.  But all it takes is one clap of thunder for the controlled motion to go out the window.
“Y/N…” Harry’s voice is low, but despite its raspy cadence, it lacks the rough edge that it had earlier. The bed behind her squeaks, signalling that Harry’s taken a seat on the edge of it. “Are you—?”
“I-I’m fine.” Y/N says quickly, pulling the sheets tighter to her chin as another shiver rolls through her body. “Go to sleep.”
There’s another creak of Harry’s bed, and Y/N imagines him climbing under the starched linen covers, his damp curls flopping into his eyes as he lays back on the lumpy motel pillow. The image is almost enough to distract her until there’s another clap of thunder.  The sound seems to shake the motel room, and Y/N can’t stop the small whimper that leaves her lips as her body jumps in response.
“When I was a little kid, my mum took my sister and I to the fair every year.”
Harry’s deep voice cuts over the rain, and Y/N shifts in her bed, turning over to face him.  She keeps the covers pulled up to her chin, but readjusts herself so that she can keep her head on her pillow while looking Harry in the eye. “What?” She asks, confusion audible in her quiet tone.
Harry shifts himself as she does, continuing to move down until he’s completely horizontal, with one hand tucked under his pillow as he speaks. “My mum took my sister and I to the fair.  It came to Holmes Chapel every spring, and there were always rides, and games to play, and so many things to see.  It drew crowds from nearby villages every year, really big crowds, and my mum always held my hand tightly so I wouldn’t get lost.”
“I don’t understand, what—” Another clap of thunder shakes the room, making Y/N flinch halfway through her sentence.
“You’re okay.” Harry says immediately, his calm jade eyes focused on her as the reassurance slips from his mouth.  He waits a moment, gauging Y/N’s body language and waiting for his examination to be positive before resuming his story. “So…my mum always told me not to wander off, but when I was six, I did.  I saw some older kids playing games that I wanted to play, and Gemma was busy playing some sort of game with a ball—I can’t really remember what—and when my mum turned her back, I ran off.”
Y/N’s about to open her mouth to ask why he’s telling her the story when the answer clicks into place in her head.  She thinks back to the conversation in the car the day before, how she told Harry that it helps when someone talks to her to distract her from the thunder.  That’s what he’s doing, she realizes, as she forces herself to focus on his quiet and level voice.  He’s trying to keep her calm, even after everything she said and did today.
“I don’t look like it now,” A small smile flits across Harry’s blushed lips. “But I was pretty scrawny back then.  And all the people around me were so tall, my eyes were barely level with their hips. Everyone was rushing around, going in all directions, and I kept calling for my mum, but she couldn’t hear me.  No one stopped to help me.  I felt like I was…trapped.  Like it was a huge forest of legs, running all around me, circling me, and I couldn’t get out.  I was probably only gone for five minutes, but to a six year old, it felt like an eternity.  And just something about it…I don’t know.  It changed me.  I still don’t like crowds because of that day.”
Y/N’s shoulders unclench the slightest bit as another gust of wind blows against the window. “That must have been scary.”
Harry’s own shoulders lift in a slight shrug as he shifts the sheet to cover him more. “It was. But I can’t change it.  I just have to deal with the repercussions of it. That’s all a fear is, really.  A side effect.  We just have to deal with them as best we can.”
More thunder booms loudly outside, but Y/N manages to keep her flinch to a minimum, despite her hands curling into fists again under the covers. “Harry…” She whispers his name into the darkness between them, his outline barely visible save for his green eyes. “I’m—I’m sorry about today.”
Harry shakes his head, his damp hair rubbing against his pillow. “You don’t have to apologize.” He whispers back, his tone as gentle as she’s ever heard it. “I was an arse.  I shouldn’t have pushed the topic.”
“I shouldn’t have been so uptight about it.” Rubbing her eyes with one fist, Y/N lets out a low sigh. “I felt so shitty all day because of our fight.  I’ve never…none of our fights have ever made me feel like that.”
“Maybe it’s because…” Harry’s tentative voice trails off, his eyes flickering to the ground for a brief moment before staring back at Y/N nervously. “I don’t know.  I thought we were getting along better.  For a moment, at least.”
“We were.” Y/N’s teeth tug on her bottom lip, and she feels a sudden shyness overcome her at the admission. “I’m sorry I said that we…weren’t friends.  I think…I don’t know.  I’ve been stubborn for so long, but I can see now that you’re different than I thought you were.”
“Yeah.  Me too.  I was wrong, too.” Harry runs a hand through his damp curls, a soft laugh leaving his mouth. “How did we even end up like this?  I barely remember what made us hate each other so much in the beginning.”
“Seriously?” Y/N raises an eyebrow, barely peaking out from beneath the sheets as another clap of thunder sounds. “You don’t remember?”
Harry mimics her expression. “Do you?”
“Yes!  It was the very first night we met.  We had that double date with Laure and Jo.” Shifting beneath her covers, Y/N moves herself into a better position on her side, so she can be more comfortable while still maintaining eye contact with Harry. “And you were rude, and made inappropriate jokes, and you left in the middle of the date to go chat up a sorority girl!”
“Wait a minute, no!” Harry protests the memory, half sitting up in his bed as he speaks. “That’s not what happened!”
“Yes, it is!” A small laugh falls off Y/N’s lips at his indignant reaction. “I remember it perfectly!”
“No, you remember it wrong!” Although a flush creeps up Harry’s neck, there’s an amused smile playing on his lips, a tiny hint of a dimple just barely appearing in his visible cheek. “I was making jokes to try and break the ice, which didn’t work on the Ice Queen, it seems—” Harry motions to Y/N teasingly. “And you’re the one who started talking to some bloke before I started talking to that girl!”
Another clap of thunder echoes through the room, but Y/N hardly notices as she thinks back to the night they met, and who Harry could possibly be referring to. “A bloke—?  He was a classmate of mine!  I had to talk to him!”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t have to enjoy it so much.” Harry grumbles, crossing his muscled arms over his sheets. “I had been so excited when Laure said she had an American girl for me, and then—”
“You were excited?” Y/N asks, her voice laced with surprise. “Really?”
The flush on Harry’s neck works its way to the apples of his cheeks. “Well, yeah.” He mumbles the words as his eyes drop from Y/N’s, slipping both hands beneath his head. “She said that you were funny, intelligent, witty, beautiful—”
“And then you met me, and realized that it was all a lie?” Y/N finishes for him, rolling her eyes in the darkness.
“No.” Harry gives a small shake of his head as his body shifts, the motel bed creaking under his weight. “No, she wasn’t wrong.  You were all of those things.  But I wasn’t, and it seemed like…I don’t know.  Like you didn’t think I was good enough for you.  I couldn’t keep your attention.”
The teasing smile slips from Y/N’s face as she registers Harry’s words. “You thought that I thought you weren’t…good enough?”
The nervousness is clear in Harry’s voice now, even over the pounding of rain against the window. “That’s what it seemed like, yeah.”
“I never—I didn’t think that.” Y/N says slowly, managing to relax her body beneath the sheets as she keeps her focus on the memory of meeting Harry. “I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be there, but that’s because Jo set the date up without telling me.  I thought you were handsome, and I liked your accent, but then you started to act weird, and you started flirting with that girl, so I thought you were an ass.”
“You still think I’m an arse, princess, be honest.” The teasing tone replaces the nerves, and for once, Harry’s joke has the intended affect on Y/N.  When she rolls her eyes again, it’s more playful, and the same tone is in her voice when she responds.
“I told you, don’t call me princess.” She replies, running her teeth over her lip gently. “So…I guess we both kind of fucked up that day.”
“Yeah.” Harry nods, a sheepish smile playing over his red lips. “I guess so.”
“Can we just restart?” Y/N’s voice is small when she asks the question, barely audible over the sounds of the storm raging outside. “Like, all the way from the beginning. No more grudges, no more yelling. Even if it’s just for this trip, for Jo and Laure—”
“It doesn’t have to be just for this trip.” Harry cuts in, his eyes catching Y/N’s again. “We’re going to have to be around each other for a long time.  It’ll be a lot easer if we get along.”
Y/N nods in agreement, tugging down her covers to extend one arm towards Harry.  She makes a fist, holding out just her pinkie finger to him with half a grin on her face. “Truce?”
The space between their beds is small, and Harry’s long arm easily makes it across the no man’s land to meet Y/N’s pinkie with his own.  He loops it together with a smile that matches hers, tired and content and just at the edge of a humble new beginning.  Harry’s response is almost inaudible as thunder booms loudly outside the room, but Y/N can still pick out the cadence of his accent under the noise.
“Truce.”
(pt II)
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rubysunnday · 4 years
Text
Favourite brother - Part 2
A/N: well, part one went down surprisingly well! 
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“So, Daphne is now a duchess...”
Y/N raised her eyebrows expectantly at her brother, waiting for him to finish his comment. She looked back down at her embroidery and poked the needle through the fabric. “And?”
Colin leant forward in his chair. “Perhaps, now, the ton will be watching you.”
Y/N let out a unladylike snort. “Oh, please. As long as Miss Thompson is around and as long as Daphne and Simon are in their ‘newlywed’ bliss, I will always be the wallflower of the family.”
Colin eyed his sister with a sad gaze. He didn’t miss the way she stabbed her needle through the fabric a little harder than necessary nor the way she practically glowered at Anthony (probably hoping he would spontaneously combust). 
“Colin, I can feel you staring at me,” Y/N said, looking up from her embroidery to give her brother a level stare. “What is it?” “You truly don’t believe you are worth anything, do you?”
Y/N paused, needle halfway through the fabric. She slowly pushed it through, trying to ignore the burning in her eyes.
Colin was right. She didn’t see herself as worthy of anything. Compared to Daphne who’d captured the eye of the ton and then a duke and a prince, she’d had nothing. Her three older brothers had always been swarmed with suitors and Y/N had truly believed that, maybe, one day, it would’ve been like that for her.
But apart from an almost marriage to Nigel Berbrooke that was out of spite to her brother and sister and was unwanted by her, she had had no proposals and no suitors.
A fact she wanted to blame Anthony for but that Y/N knew was down to nothing more than bad luck. 
If she’d made her debut a year later it would’ve been the same story. Everyone would’ve been captivated by Eloise and she would’ve been forgotten. Or everyone would’ve been terrified of Eloise and been forced to look at Y/N.
Either or.
When you were a twin of someone who excelled in everything you didn’t, it was easy to be overlooked and forgotten - especially in a family of nine. 
But up until she and Daphne came of age, she hadn’t felt overlooked. She’d felt loved and seen as an equal to her brothers. Anthony hadn’t been so protective (He'd always been protective of them all. But compared to how Benedict was when someone upset or threatened his family, Anthony was a saint.). 
Everyone fawned over Daphne when she began courting Simon - and rightfully so. But Y/N’s prospects and potential suitors had become nothing more than polite conversation between her and her ladies maid. 
“Y/N?”
Y/N inhaled sharply and jumped slightly at Colin’s voice. She looked over at him and gave him a somewhat unconvincing smile. “I’m fine. I just feel somewhat underwhelming compared to my sister,” she replied, turning her eyes back to her embroidery. 
Which was beginning to look less and less like a violet and more like an oddly shaped duck. 
Colin, sensing his sister wasn’t in the mood to be proved wrong, left the conversation there. He also didn’t want to end up with a sewing needle in his eye - the chances of which were becoming increasingly likely the more he poked and prodded. 
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It was a beautiful ballroom.
There were candles in every window and garlands of flowers draped across the walls with petals dashed across the floor. 
The garden was a lit with numerous furnaces and torches that blazed in the summer night and the fountain set in the centre of the sprawling, immaculate hedges and flowers trickled away.
None of the beauty, however, was making Y/N feel any better about being left out of yet another ball.
She’d been standing on the sidelines watching ever since she’d arrived. Benedict had offered to dance with her but Y/N hadn’t wanted to be mentioned in Lady Whistledown for dancing with no one but her own brothers so had declined the invitation.
Instead she chose to stand and watch the beautiful couples dance around the room as she sulked and drank yet another glass of lemonade. 
“Why are you skulking back here?” Anthony asked, approaching his sister with a confused, concerned and curious expression.
Y/N swallowed the rather large gulp of lemonade she’d taken and tried not to give her brother a glare. “No one’s asked me to dance.”
“I’m sure Colin -”
“That is not the point, Anthony!” Y/N exclaimed, cutting him off. “I’ve had no one to dance with apart from my brother’s and Simon, who is now my brother too!” She almost growled but remembered that half the ton were around and forced herself to calm down. “Daphne has been the centre of everyone’s attention and had the suitors falling at het feet. I thought that now she’s married, they’d look to me - but apparently no one settles for second best.” 
Anthony stared at his sister. “Y/N, you’re not second best to anyone.”
Y/N scoffed. She set her empty lemonade glass down, slightly worried she was going to through it at her brother’s head. “Then why haven’t you looked at me twice all season, Anthony? You walked off at my very first ball, leaving me to flounder. You never escorted me - not even tonight! You have, so far, not cared about who comes calling for me - which was no one, by the way - and you don’t care that I have had no suitors, no callers and no proposals!”
She was breathing fast and could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She was angry. She was so angry and even though most of the anger was at the ton for being so vain, she couldn’t very well direct it at a ballroom full of people.
Instead she directed it at her older brother, the one who should’ve looked out for her and guided her through her first season in society but didn’t.
Anthony, for once, had the decency to look hurt by his sister’s accusations. He had a broken look on his face as he realised she was right and that he’d ignored  her. He was stunned into silence.
But Y/N hadn’t want pitiful silence, she’d wanted an argument - for Anthony to get angry at her and prove her wrong but also right.
“Say something!” Y/N snapped, glaring at Anthony. 
 Benedict and Colin had noticed the, somewhat heated argument, and were trying to weave their way through the crowd to intervene before one of them snapped and punched the other.
Anthony opened his mouth and closed it again. He was speechless - a rare feat, indeed.
Y/N scoffed and shook her head. “Fine.”
She turned on her heel and disappeared through the crowd, heading towards the door to the garden. 
Benedict and Colin made it to Anthony’s side and frowned.
“What was that all about?” Benedict asked, looking at Anthony expectantly. 
Anthony swallowed and forced himself to look at his brother. “She hates me.”
Colin, who had sensed the argument was coming, put a hand on Anthony’s arm. “No, she doesn’t. She’s angry at the world and the expectations society place on her shoulders. All she really wants, Anthony, is you.”
“I’ve ignored her almost this entire season,” Anthony said, staring at Colin. “How...”
“There’s still a few weeks left of the season, though,” Colin reminded him. He gestured to the door that Y/N had fled through. “Go on.”
Anthony didn’t need anymore encouragement, he brushed past his brother’s and all but marched through the crowd towards the door. 
Y/N had disappeared out onto the fire lit terrace of the house and was leaning on the stone bannister, trying to calm down. 
She loved her brother. Truly, she did. She also knew that he would never do anything to ruin her prospects intentionally.
That didn’t, however, stop her from wanting to throttle him. 
“Y/N?”
Y/N closed her eyes and inhaled. She could feel Anthony watching her and heard his footsteps approaching closer as he walked up to her. 
“Are you alright?” 
There was concern - genuine concern - in his voice. Y/N was usually good at keeping her emotions together and not breaking down until she was either with her mother or on her own.
But all it took was Anthony’s concerned question and a gentle hand on her shoulder for her to lose any control she’d had.
Y/N felt the tears drip down her face and turned to Anthony, practically throwing her arms around him and clinging on to him as if he was the only thing keeping her afloat. 
Slightly surprised by her sudden change in emotion, it took Anthony a moment to catch-up with the fact his sister was sobbing in to his arms and needed, not Lord Bridgerton, but her big brother. 
Anthony wrapped his arms around her and held her as she sobbed, waiting for her to speak.
Y/N eventually managed to get control of her emotions again and she stepped away from Anthony, wiping her eyes as delicately as she could to avoid ruining her make-up.
“Sorry.”
“Never apologise for being human,” Anthony said softly, sitting next to her on a bench. 
Y/N sighed. “I’m just... compared to Daphne I am nothing. No one has even looked twice at me this entire season. I’m her sister and nothing more.”
Anthony put a hand on her knee. “Do you truly believe that?” He asked, looking her in the eye.
“I don’t know. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. All I wish is for someone, anyone, to look at me and call on me because they like me. Not because they wanted an easy way to my sister or to you or to Eloise or to anyone who isn’t me!” 
“Y/N, you are a wonderful young lady and if those men can’t see it -”
“Then they’re not worth my time, I know,” she said, shooting Anthony an amused smile. “You sound like Benedict.”
“I believe you meant that Benedict sounds like me, he did come second after all,” Anthony quipped.
Y/N smacked her brother on the arm. She shook her head with a smiles she tried not to laugh. 
“Come on,” Anthony said, standing up and holding a hand out to her. “Will you do me the honour of a dance, Miss Bridgerton?”
Y/N took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. “Of course, Lord Bridgerton.” 
“Excuse me, Miss Bridgerton?” Y/N turned around. A young man, Lord Durrell if she remembered correctly, was standing in front of her looking slightly anxious.
“Yes, Lord Durrell?” Anthony asked, raising his eyebrows in his trademark brooding, older brother way.
“I was wondering if you would do me the honour of a dance this evening?” Durrell asked, looking directly at Y/N.
Y/N smiled and held out the arm that her dance card was on. “Of course, Lord Durrell. After I’ve dance with my brother, of course.”
Lord Durrell smiled and wrote his name on her card. “I look forward to it,” he said, bowing down.
Y/N curtsied slightly in response and watched as he left. She waited a few seconds and then squealed and jumped up and down. 
Anthony chuckled, stepping back to avoid being hit by a flailing limb. “See, I told you.”
“No, you didn't, actually,” Y/N said, taking her brother’s arm. “You just repeated what Benedict said and gave me a hug.”
“Which is just as important.”
“Naturally.”
Anthony led Y/N to the dance floor and the two took up their positions. 
“I don’t say this often enough,” Y/N said as they danced around the room, “but I’m so glad you’re my brother, Anthony.”
Anthony managed to concel his surprise by twirling Y/N around and using the brief moment she wasn’t looking to show his surprise before hiding it again. 
“I’m incredibly lucky to have you in my life,” she continued, oblivious. “I just wanted you to know that.”
Anthony nodded and smiled, twirling her around again. 
Later on, however, when he was in his own lodgings away from prying eyes, Anthony looked back on the moment and had to hide his tears in a bottle of whiskey and the mountain of paperwork he had to fulfil. 
1K notes · View notes
floralseokjin · 3 years
Text
⤑ made-up love song x (m).
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Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire. 
Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…
pairing; kim seokjin x reader   au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, romance, happy ending, jin has stubble lmao, smut; morning sex, oral sex (f receiving), soft sex, spooning, jin has a thing for boobs this saturday morn, everything gets so fluffy  words; 6,243
↪︎ chapter index
chapters; i • ii • iii  • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)
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When you heard the doorbell ring twenty-five minutes later you were up off the sofa in seconds, heart thrumming against your ribcage as you rushed towards the entryway, a nervous kind of excitement flurrying inside your stomach. Yanking the door open, you were unable to keep the smile from your face as you saw Seokjin stood in front of you. He was dressed in sweatpants and a baggy white t-shirt which was slightly creased. His hair must have been freshly washed, soft and fluffy on top of his head, but it looked like he hadn’t shaved in a while, hints of stubble growing along his upper lip and along his jawline. 
“Hi.” You were grinning by now. 
“Hi,” he murmured softly, stepping forward. Immediately you found yourself in his embrace, the familiar scent of his laundry detergent welcoming. You wrapped your arms around his middle, pressing the side of your face to his chest. You felt still, relaxed for the first time in days. 
Kissing the top of your head as he pulled away, he took your hands and let out a small chuckle. “I was halfway here when I realised I still had my slippers on.” 
You looked down at his feet, giggling as you spotted the blue slip ons. Linking your fingers with his, you gently tugged him forward. “Do you want head to the living room?”
He nodded, letting you lead the way, and you paused by the kitchen, turning back. “Want something to drink?”
“Water, if it isn’t any trouble.” He asked. Classic Seokjin, you thought to yourself, leaving him to sit, too polite for no reason. When you came back, handing him the drinking glass he smiled and said his thanks. You sat next to him watching him take a sip and lean over to place the glass on the coffee table. You didn’t know where to start, you had so much to say, but it seemed like he had been thinking his piece over in the car ride here. 
Exhaling, he turned to you with a serious expression. “Just before you say what you need to, I want to apologise.” He paused, seeing if you would let him continue, when you didn’t object he reached for your hand. “I’m really sorry for the way I acted Sunday. It was unacceptable and I’m really embarrassed you had to see me like that.” He sighed then, “I was just so... I was so mad that Nana turned up and spoke to you like she did. I let all my frustrations regarding Arin take over too.” He was staring you straight in the eyes, eager to make you see how sincere he was. “I never meant to compare you both and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” 
“Everyone gets angry, Seokjin. Don’t feel embarrassed because of that,” you told him. “It was just jarring to see. Plus it was all so overwhelming.” He nodded in understanding and you smiled and squeezed his hand. “I appreciate your apology regarding the comparisons though.” What was done was done, but he sounded regretful. “Have you spoken to Nana since?” 
“Yeah,” he murmured, averting his gaze for a split second. He sounded remorseful. “I saw her yesterday afternoon. She wanted to be with Arin this weekend so I finished work early and drove her there. Nana…” He stopped himself and started again. “I know why she was so hurt over everything. We talked it out a little. Barely touched the surface but things are headed in the right direction. I apologised to her.” 
“That’s good to hear,” you said. There was no good only apologising to you. Nana deserved an apology just as much, maybe even more. You were glad they’d managed to be civil and you hoped it was a step in the right direction. 
“I know Arin missed school but I called Principal Jung.” Seokjin was eager to explain himself. “I didn’t go into details of course, but he said it was okay.” 
“That’s fine,” you chuckled quietly. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. It was only one day.” How cute. You didn’t take your job that seriously. At least the mystery was solved though. You had stressed over nothing. He wanted nothing more than for Arin to see her mother, regardless of what his relationship with Nana was like. This extra weekend together meant a lot to not only Arin and Nana, but him too. Harsh words had been shared in frustration and anger, but he hadn’t lost sight of what mattered the most – his daughter. 
“I’m glad you talked to Nana,” you smiled, unsure how to voice all your thoughts. What mattered was he’d seen the error of his ways, and hopefully Nana had too. 
He nodded sternly. “I was out of order that day.” 
You grew serious too, hesitating before you said his name. You knew you had to ask him, knew you had to have this conversation, but it didn’t stop you from feeling slightly afraid. “Seokjin, why didn’t you tell her about us?” 
He closed his eyes briefly, shame written all over his face, and he let go of your hand to run a hand through his hair. It draped across his forehead instantly. “I made a mistake.” He was looking straight into your eyes again, chocolate irises pooling with genuine regret. “At first I didn’t know what would happen between us. It was all brand new for me – for you. Letting Nana know was the last thing on my mind, but as things got more serious, I just…” He faltered, gaze falling to his lap. “I didn’t want to burst the bubble. I was so happy. I didn’t want anything to potentially ruin it. 
“It was stupid, considering Arin could tell her at any moment. I just wasn’t thinking, I was being selfish. I understand why Nana was so hurt. I would feel the same if I found out Arin had been spending time with a man I didn’t know.” He exhaled deeply. “I took it all to heart because deep down I knew I’d done wrong.” 
You appreciated his honesty. “We were definitely in a bubble. I never even thought to ask if you’d let her know. I –”
“It’s not your fault.” He was quick to tell you. “It was my responsibility and I didn’t want to do it. I regret it now and I’ve told her that. I’m sorry to you too, it wasn’t my intention to keep you a secret.” 
You were quiet then, unsure what to say. You still had questions, still had things you needed to understand and as if he read your mind, he placed a gentle hand on your knee, tilting his head to watch you. “Y/N, is there anything else you want to know?” 
Your fingers picked at your pyjama pants, heart beating rapidly. There was one important thing you needed the answer to, it was a dumb question, you were nearly positive, but yet you knew you needed to ask it. 
“Anything you want to ask, I’ll be 100% honest with you.” He gently nudged, sensing your reluctance. 
“T-this may seem stupid,” you began, finding courage. He was Seokjin, your Seokjin, he wouldn’t judge you. However, you hoped what you had to say wouldn’t hurt him. He waited patiently for you to continue. You held his gaze. “You’re not just looking for a mother figure for Arin, are you?”
His forehead crinkled in confusion, his hand leaving your knee as he processed your words. “What do you mean?”
You felt a wave of panic. “I know it sounds stupid, but I just need to know if you like me for me.”
He watched you carefully, brow line now creasing in concern. “Of course I like you for you.” And then he took your hand, lacing his warm fingers between yours. You could see the concentration on his face as he tried to find a way to word his thoughts. “I’m not looking for a mother figure, I never was. Yes, I’d love it if Arin saw her mother every day, but I’m not trying to recreate it elsewhere. I was wrong to compare you both. Nana loves Arin, I know that, she’s trying her best, and you’re…,” he took a breath, “I would never expect you to take on all that responsibility. You’re my girlfriend, I would never intentionally put all that pressure on to you.
“Y/N, I’m Arin’s father,” he continued when you didn’t reply. “She means the world to me, so knowing that she adores you makes me happy, as does knowing you adore her. I always thought dating in my position would be really hard – that’s why I never did it. Having to trust someone that much to potentially let them into my daughter’s life, that was such a frightening thought. But it wasn’t with you.” His eyes were wide, pleading as he tried to make you see. As he spoke he used his other hand to cup the side of your face, you softened into his touch. 
“There were other worries too,” he continued to confess. “I thought nobody would want a divorced dad as a boyfriend. It’s fine, I understand it’s not everyone’s ideal, but with you it was never a problem. You accepted me and what my life involved and I’m not going to lie, that made me fall for you even harder but I wasn’t using you because I wanted some sort of permanent mother figure in Arin’s life. That’s absurd and it makes me really sad to know I potentially made you feel that way.” 
Your chest felt lighter hearing those words. Nothing like the tight, anxious mess you had felt all week. It was good to know your worst fears weren’t true. Your doubts, even though valid, hadn’t been needed. You believed every word he said. 
He lowered his hand from your face, sensing you were about to speak, and instead clutched the hands laced together in your lap. “Hearing those things you said to Nana, it made me… It overwhelmed me. Made me think that you’d been expecting too much of me this whole time, or like maybe you’d been searching for something I had no clue about.” You admitted.
You hadn’t liked being used as a weapon. It had made you feel horrifically guilty. You told him just as much, being as frank as you possibly could because he needed to hear it. 
“I understand,” he nodded. “I promise I’ll never do it again. All I can give you is my word.” 
“And I’ll believe it.” You told him, needing him to know something else as well. “Seokjin, I really do care about Arin. I’m beyond touched that she’s accepted me into her life but my place will always be different.” 
Seokjin frowned at that. “You are still an amazing person in her life though. She’s become so much happier these past few months and I can’t deny it and say that’s not partially down to you, even if it’s just a fraction of the reason.” 
You opened your mouth to disagree with him, he was being too nice, giving you too much credit, but he wasn’t having any of it. “No, Y/N. You need to hear these things. You make Arin happy too, and I think that’s a beautiful thing.” He felt you relax, smiling when he noticed you do the same. “I fell for you because of many reasons, and yes, one of them was because of how you treat Arin, but it’s not the only one.” His voice was soft as he began to make a list. You couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re sweet, caring, funny, beautiful – inside and out.” 
“You’re a real charmer, hm,” you teased.
He chuckled, but grew serious once again, giving your hand a squeeze. “You could have anybody but you chose me, the man whose life is overtaken by work and is struggling to be an OK dad.” 
“Seokjin, you’re an amazing father,” you scoffed. If he expected you to listen then he needed to as well. “You work so hard and you’re constantly exhausted but that doesn’t stop you from being one of the best fathers I know. You need to give yourself more credit.” 
“Thanks,” he said, plump lips tugging up into a half-smile. You really wanted to kiss him, it had been long enough, so you leaned forward, pressing your mouth to his. Gentle and chaste. When you pulled back he was smiling harder. You couldn’t help but join him. 
One of his hands lifted, weaving into your hair as he brought your face to his chest, the hand holding yours letting go so he could wrap his arm around your middle, holding you to him. You were both silent, content for a moment as you listened to his heart beat steadily. It comforted you, let you know that everything was okay. 
“I’m sorry if I put pressure on you,” he murmured, chin resting against your hair. “It’s just when the three of us are together it feels so right. It feels natural and I love that.” 
“I love it too,” you agreed, your face still pressed into his chest, your palm too. “But Nana is her mother and I don’t ever want to take her place.” You paused, slowly pulling away to look at him. “I want to make my own place. And I don’t know if that means being a stepmom so soon, but it’s definitely moving in that direction.” You’d had enough time to think about everything. You were more than serious about him. “I want a future with you, Seokjin. A future with you and Arin. You both mean a lot to me.” 
His mouth slowly spread into a grin, he looked and sounded unbelievably happy. “Do you mean that?” 
“Of course. I spent these past few days thinking really hard about us and what we were – what we are. I’m serious about us, and I hope you are too.” 
He pulled you into another hug, kissing your forehead. “I most definitely am, but we’ll take it at your pace,” he assured, “and Arin’s pace.” 
“And your pace,” you added, moving your head back to look at him, hands resting on his shoulders. “Nana’s too. She needs to be involved because no matter what, she’s still a part of your life.” 
It wasn’t about just you and Seokjin, you understood that now, and so did he. “I agree. I really think yesterday was a turning point for me and her. I want our relationship to be better for not just Arin, but you too. I hate that you had to witness all that.” 
“It’s okay, Seokjin. Please don’t beat yourself up about it.” He needed to let it go and move forward. You had already. 
“Listen, I, er, I’m…” He hesitated, serious once again. “I’m sorry for not telling you why we divorced.” 
Oh. In your happiness you’d actually forgotten about that. You waited for him to continue, wanting to hear what he had to say because it had been the source of some of your hurt. You rubbed his shoulders, wanting to encourage him as he struggled to find the words. 
“It’s complicated,” he started. “…Finding out Nana had been cheating on me was what triggered the divorce, but it had been over long before then. It’s… difficult to admit this out loud but for the longest time I was embarrassed. I couldn’t believe that she’d cheated on me – it was an ego thing. I didn’t care because I no longer loved her but at the same time it was mortifying and it made me very bitter.
“I didn’t tell you because you’d trusted me with your own story. I learned how cheating had affected you and my situation was completely different. I don’t know,” he sighed, unsure if he was making any sense. “I regret it now because I should have told you.” 
“I understand why you didn’t,” you said simply, attempting to process the huge chunk of information you’d just been given. “But I think, regardless of our different circumstances it still affected you in some way. There’s no right or wrong way to deal with being cheated on.” It had obviously left its mark if he was still bringing it up nearly three years later. 
He still wasn’t convinced. “But Nana was right, that’s why I got so angry. I couldn’t admit it to myself, not until this week. By sleeping with someone else she gave me a way out. I didn’t want to be the one who ended it because that would mean I was the reason for Arin’s broken home. To ease my conscience I could blame the breakdown of our marriage on her.” 
“Seokjin, that doesn’t make you a terrible human being. You need to let all that go,” you told him gently. “At the time you did what you thought was best for Arin. You thought by staying together it would give her a better life but it doesn’t work like that and you’ve realised that now.” 
You didn’t want to stick your nose in business that wasn’t yours, but you understood what had happened. By staying together they had become increasingly bitter towards one another and the result was still ongoing. There had been a lot of hurt and that would take some time getting over. 
You noticed the slight nod he gave you, a silent agreement. The sooner he accepted his mistakes the easier it would be to forgive himself. “I still should have you,” he whispered.
“That’s not important anymore,” you insisted. 
“It is.” He clutched your waist, his eyes glassy. “You shared so much with me about how you got hurt, and I kept something big from you.” 
You gave him a reassuring smile. “Well, I know now.” You weren’t going to hold it against him, it had obviously been playing on his mind the entirety of your relationship. “That’s all that matters.”  
He relented, kissing you softly, just once, unable to help himself. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking too these past few days. I talked to my therapist. It’s been a while. I’ve just been so happy I didn’t need to until…” Trailing off he gave an embarrassed shrug. 
“That’s good you got back in contact with her.” He hadn’t actually spoken about his therapist since your first date and you’d never thought much about it, but it was great that he knew to seek help when he needed it. 
“We talked a couple of times about everything. It was helpful.” He rubbed your back with a soothing hand. “I really am sorry my relationship with Nana is like this. There’s a lot of bitterness and hurt left over from all the years we stayed together. Maybe the truth is we should have never gotten married in the first place. We brought out the worst in one another until in the end it turned to hate, but I can’t regret it because she gave me my world.” 
“Maybe realising all this is the next step for some type of closure,” you offered. He and Nana couldn’t keep this up. They needed to get along for Arin’s sake. They had to try and salvage some type of relationship if they wanted to continue co-parenting their daughter – their world. 
“I think you’re right,” he agreed. “Now that everything is out in the open I feel so much better.” 
“I’m glad.” You leaned in to kiss his cheek.  
“So,” he hummed, sounding a lot more like himself, “where do we go from here?” 
“I think we just carry on from where we left off.” As far as you were concerned everything had been resolved. All your questions and worries had been answered. You were both on the same page now and you could move on together. “When I was waiting for you to come back with that salad.”
“Sounds perfect.” He laughed, wasting no time with kissing you, properly this time, cupping your face to bring you closer. You settled in his lap soon after, his lips soft and warm, each glide of your tongues making you realise that all you wanted to do was be with him. Always. 
“There is one change I’d like to make though,” he murmured, pulling away gradually, kisses becoming gentle pecks until he had the will power to stop completely. “I was going to wait until I took you to Paris, but maybe grand gestures don’t mean shit after I thought I’d lost you.” 
Your heart flipped inside your chest just from the look he was giving you, the sheer determination in his eyes, and the way he cupped your face firmly. You thought you knew what was coming. 
“I love you.” 
You were still speechless for a moment though, but it was okay because he was still busy confessing. 
“I know it may seem too fast and I don’t want to scare you away but I’ve fallen head over heels in love with you these past few months. I can’t remember what my life was like before you appeared in it.” 
“I love you, too,” you gushed, coming to. “Of course you wouldn’t scare me away. Everything you just said, I feel exactly the same way.” 
“Really?”
“Yes!” You exclaimed. 
“It’s not too fast?” 
“Not at all,” you shook your head. You’d been worried it was at first, but you’d been upset and scared. Now everything was clear. “Actually, there’s no such thing because I’m in this 110%.” 
He chuckled then, brow line crinkling in the middle. “That sure?” 
“Mhmm,” you nodded enthusiastically, hands holding the back of your neck. “Thank you for reversing into my car.” 
That made him snort. “It’s no problem at all, but,” he leaned forward, tone serious, “I hate to break it to you, I’m in 1010%.” 
You rolled your eyes playfully, ignoring his goofiness to kiss him again. Although this time there was something you couldn’t ignore any longer. “Oh my god,” you complained, itching your lips. 
“What?” He was very obviously concerned. 
“Your stubble keeps pricking me!” You whined. “What is going on?” You cupped his face, getting a better look at the situation. He did look rather handsome with stubble, you admit, but you’d keep that to yourself. “A few days without me and you forget to shave.” 
He raised a dark eyebrow. “Isn’t that a thing? When you think you’ve lost the woman of your dreams you have to start growing out a beard, right?” 
You snorted lightly. “You’d be there for years trying to grow out that thing.” 
He tutted. “Rude.” 
“But what, say that again? I’m the woman of your dreams?” You teased, pressing for more. 
“I take it back now,” he scoffed. 
“You can’t! You’ve said it now.” 
“Shush,” he laughed. “Come here.” He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. “Stop talking and let me love you.” 
It took a single press of his lips for you to listen. 
.
.
You were slow and still sleepy when you awoke the next morning, gradually coming to, your eyes still closed. It was raining, you could hear the soft patter of it against the window as you became more aware, but you found it didn’t hinder the good mood you’d woken up in. Why would it? 
Finally opening your eyes, although with effort, a soft focus Seokjin came into view, already awake and leaning over you slightly. He smiled when you saw him, a hand caressing your hip. “Good morning, beautiful.” 
You smiled back, rolling into the side of his body, making the most of your sleepy state – and your boyfriend’s warmth. “How long have you been awake?” You asked with a small yawn. 
You didn’t actually remember falling asleep last night. After you’d made up (and you were done with all that kissing), you’d asked him to stay over. You’d laid in bed, wrapped up in one another as you talked about anything and everything before your eyes had started to get heavy, Seokjin’s voice and your own sounding distant in no time. And now you were here. 
“A few minutes,” he murmured, morning voice always an octave lower. It never stopped being sexy. You tangled your legs in his as he laid back down and realised his were now bare – he must have gotten too warm in the middle of the night. 
He cupped your face, wanting you to look at him. “I was using the time to admire you.” 
“Cheesy as always,” you chuckled. 
“Of course,” he agreed easily, leaning in to rub his nose against yours. “I woke up and thought last night might have been a dream.”  
“It wasn’t,” you whispered, getting lost in his eyes for a moment. 
“I love you.” 
With a soft groan you rolled onto your back. “Not fair, I was about to say that.” 
“Too bad,” he laughed, that deep morning chuckle you loved, wrapping his arm around your middle as he kissed your cheek. “You snooze you lose.” 
“I wasn’t snoozing.” 
“You were – and snoring. I heard you.” He was trailing kisses along your jaw now. 
“You didn’t!” You exclaimed. That was something you definitely did not do. “I don’t snore, take that back!” 
You attempted to wriggle out of his hold but he wasn’t having any of it, both of his hands beginning to tickle your sides. “Seokjin!” You shrieked, starting to thrust your legs but he rolled on top of you, caging your body easily. 
He stilled all movement and looked down, having way too much fun teasing you. “What?” 
Before you could even think to reply he was kissing you. Somewhere along the way last night you’d gotten used to the stubble, quite liking the tingle across your lips now, so you didn’t gripe this morning. Holding your face he trailed wet kisses down your throat, teeth gently sinking into your collarbone. You let out a gasp, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pushed against his body, eager for more of his mouth. 
His hands soon began roaming your body, slipping under your pyjama shirt to caress your skin. His fingers delicately traced the underside of your breasts, lifting his head up to kiss your mouth once before he spoke his request. “Can I see you?”
You smiled and nodded, watching as he started to undo the buttons with expertise. When you were fully revealed he looked at you with a grin. “Woah,” he stated simply. 
“You’re acting like you’ve never seen them before,” you giggled. 
“I don’t know, I’m pretty sure they’ve gotten bigger.” He mused, weighing your breasts in his hands. 
You snorted, mouth dropping open when he captured one of your nipples between his lips. His used his hand to palm the other breast, pinching the nipple with his fingers and you moaned, arching into his touch. Against your crotch you could feel him growing hard – rapidly. 
“Take this off,” you urged, tugging at his t-shirt. Your need for him was rising too, breathing becoming unsteady as Seokjin kneeled upright and ripped the piece of clothing off. You sat up, running your hands across the muscular swell of his chest. “Yup,” you nodded to yourself, “definitely gotten bigger.” 
He chuckled quietly – shyly almost, and helped you take your shirt off, kissing across your shoulder as he eased you back against the pillows. Next, he got you out of your pyjama bottoms, kissing his way back up your stomach and between the valley of your breasts as his hand slid between your legs, rubbing you above your underwear. Squirming, warmth flooding you as his mouth found yours, your tongues mashing together in haste, your arms wrapped around him, holding him tight. 
He slipped his hand inside your panties and loved what he found. “You’re so wet, honey,” he murmured, playfulness in his tone as he circled your clit with the pad of finger. His touch was so light it was unbearable and you whined, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. 
He circled your entrance next but didn’t enter, collecting your arousal to rub your clit again. You dug your foot into the mattress, raising your hips to get more. His dick was fully erect now, pressing into your thigh, but he was in no rush, fully devoted when it came to pleasuring you. Dragging your underwear down your thighs, you helped push them off entirely, reaching for him and pulling him into a kiss, although he didn’t stay at your mouth long, kissing across your chest and down your stomach until he met his destination. 
He didn’t get very far though, his hot breath making you wriggle about, thighs clamping around his head. “It tickles.” 
“Tickles?” He repeated in amusement, nosing your inner thigh. He kissed your bikini line, ignoring your feeble giggles. “I’m not trying to tickle you.” 
You held your breath as he placed a testing kiss against your centre, willing yourself not to squirm, but Seokjin took it slow, easing you into it, because your body had suddenly decided to turn hypersensitive in his absence. He continued to kiss your core, his tongue coming out to wash against you too, and soon enough you got used to the sensation. 
“Good?” He asked against your clit, the vibrations making you flutter. 
You nodded in reply, fingers of both hands reaching to tangle in his hair. He gave you a quick smile and then started to flick his tongue against the bundle of nerves rapidly, making your hips rise in shock as a moan drew from your throat. He gave you no time to recover, sucking on your clit now as he hummed in satisfaction. Body with a mind of its own, you spread your thighs, wanting to feel him even better. 
He got the hint, using his hands to plant your feet on his shoulders, legs bent at the knee to open you up even wider for him. He continued to suck you softly, the tip of his tongue flicking back and forth at the same time, the stimulation so glorious you were sure you had tears in your eyes. 
“Oh God, Seokjin,” you moaned as he pulled away abruptly, your head falling back against the pillow. You had been moments away from coming, you were almost positive. 
He moaned himself as he licked a strip up your centre, pushing your knees higher up your body, exposing your clit even more so this time when he rolled it between his lips your hips jerked around uncontrollably, the pleasure too much. You felt him ease off but begged him not to stop, sounding possessed. “No, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”  
He continued, his eyes on you as he made your legs tremble and you dug your toes into his shoulders, clutching at his hair. “You gonna cum, baby?” He husked. You whined in reply, hips rolling into his face with desperateness. “Give it to me then.” He told you, once again suctioning his lips to your clit. 
Your eyes clenched shut as you concentrated on his tongue, panting loudly as the muscles in your gut tightened. Your release hit you seconds later, lifting your hips up with one last burst of energy as he continued to work his tongue against your thrumming clit, your orgasm crashing through you in waves as you cried out. It was amazing, almost euphoric if you wanted to be dramatic (you did), your whole body satisfied and warm. 
Seokjin tried to ride it out as long as possible, but soon you grew sensitive, your hands detaching themselves from his hair to fall limply to your side, chest rising and falling deeply as you tried to catch your breath. He wrapped his fingers around your ankles delicately and placed your legs down on the bed before hovering over your body. He was just as out of breath, your arousal smeared across his mouth and chin, and you kissed him greedily, wanting nothing more. You could feel him rutting against you, attempting to gain just a little bit of relief, and taking pity on him you  cupped his erection over his underwear, giving him a squeeze. He groaned at the sensation, breaking away from your mouth. 
You started to rub him as best you could as he kneeled between your legs, watching your hand at work. He chuckled in disbelief. “You have me so hard, shit.” 
“That is my area of expertise,” you gloated, pulling his dick out of his boxer shorts. You ran your fist up and down it a few times, revelling in the smooth skin, thumb circling the head that was beading with precum. 
His patience was crazy this morning, enjoying the way you touched him so much he leaned in to kiss you again, panting quietly against your lips as you sped up your movements, dragging your thumb across his slit in a bid to spread his arousal. He hissed, jerking into your hand, and you just about lost it. You wanted him, no, needed him inside you. Right this instant. 
You looked him deep in the eyes, your noses practically touching as you gave him a squeeze. “Make love to me, Seokjin.” 
He broke then, unable to deny you or himself any longer. His underwear was gone in a flash, thick cock bobbing as he guided you onto your side, fitting in beside you perfectly. He wrapped his hand around your calf, lifting your leg over his to spread you out a little and then he angled the head of his cock at your entrance, kissing your shoulder as he slowly began to push inside you. 
You closed your eyes as you felt the drag, both of you groaning as he continued to fill you, his hand pushing one of your butt cheeks up a little so he could successfully bottom out. You stayed like that for a while, kissing one another, one of his arms hooked underneath your neck, hand cupping your chin, the other caressing your body, tracing across your stomach before softly cupping your breasts. The sensation had you sighing sweetly, pushing back into him and he couldn’t hold off any longer. 
He thrusted slowly, practically all the way out just to push back in, filling you up over and over. It was glorious, his rhythm eliciting moan after moan, especially as he played with your chest, rolling your hardened nipples between his fingers. You could hear yourself, how wet you were, and you rolled yourself onto your side more, pushing your ass into him in a bid to get more.
He got the message, speeding up as you reached behind and ran your fingers through his hair. He loved that, grunting as he spoke against your ear, “A little faster, baby?” 
All you could do was nod and respond with a garbled noise from somewhere deep within your throat, Seokjin’s thrusts gaining momentum as he started to pound against your ass, his laboured breathing blowing hot air against your cheek. One of his hands dug into the round of your ass, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as he growled softly, thrusts purposeful, unrelenting. 
“Let me see your pretty face,” he panted after a few moments, pulling you into him and cupping your jaw. You twisted yourself, half flat to his sweaty chest as you spread your legs too, letting him thrust up into you. Your breasts jiggled with the force of his movements, his tongue pushing into your mouth, kiss sloppy and everything good. 
His breathing got heavier, his movements turning slightly sloppy as he adjusted your body once again so he could kiss and caress your breasts instead. A hand played with the left one as his mouth licked and sucked the right, grunts falling from his lips now as he quickly lost himself. His thrusts got harder and his teeth grazed against your nipple. When you cried out, he loved that, squeezing your boob roughly, tearing another sound from your throat as your walls clamped around him, gripping him for all he was worth. 
You knew he was done for when he sought your mouth again, chuckling huskily as you pecked kisses against his plump lips. You felt his dick pulse, thrusts messy as he chased his end, and then he stilled, groaning as his orgasm hit and he started spilling warmth inside of you. 
He wrapped his arms around you tightly once it was over, hugging you to his body with even more kisses, both of you panting softly, enjoying the come down. In fact, you didn’t want it to end. Gradually falling soft, he stayed buried inside you and made no attempts to slip out. If anything, he was damn determined to stay there for as long as possible it seemed. 
“I love you,” you told him sweetly, sweeping some of his hair out of his eyes, still engulfed by his heat. 
He smiled, practically goofy, still drunk off your lovemaking. “I love you too, of course.” 
And then it was back to kissing. 
You had a week’s worth to catch up on, and an entirety more to look forward to. 
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*BONUS*
You (10:25am) Seokjin came over last night, we talked it out and made up 😊
Soojung (10:29am) Finally! ILY and I’m so happy for you best friend! But thanks for the heads up, I’ll be giving the house a wide berth this weekend See you Monday 😘
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Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021
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get-shiggy-with-it · 3 years
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Ch. 1
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Shigaraki Birthday Week! MINORS DNI DO NOT PUT THIS ON TIKTOK
Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader
Word Count: 3k
Warnings: reader is marked fem cause Tomura is a little sexist and hates you cause you’re a woman, no pronouns, incel!shiggy, collage au/no quirks, tomura is an asshole, gratuitous swearing, like so much, shiggy has a dirty mouth, mentions of shigs being anxious, let me know if I’ve missed something
Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6
Summary: Tomura gets stuck taking an English class to graduate and is partnered with you, a bitchy try hard (his words not mine) for his final project. But over the course of the semester he finds that while he hates everyone, he might hate you just a little...less. 
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The door at the back of the room creaked open and jarred Tomura from his half-sleep state. He didn’t look at who’d bothered to slip into this fucking class late, and instead tried to let the prof’s inane droning on Timothy Whoever The Fuck’s 18th weirdo letter book lull him into day dreaming. 
He only made it about a quarter of the way back into his boredom induced coma until he was dragged unwillingly into wakefulness once more. 
“Sorry, could you plug this in for me?” 
Tomura jumped again when you leaned over to whisper to him, computer charger in one hand, gesturing to the outlet on the wall by his head. You’d left the typical courtesy seat empty between the two of you and he stared blankly at the way you leaned your weight on the vacant chair. 
He recognized you.
The classic, dumbass teacher's pet who was always front and center of the room, iced drink at the ready looking like you belonged on the set of some god awful college b movie. 
Well, almost always. You certainly had that loud ass drink, but you’d tucked yourself at the end of his row towards the back of the room and was clearly a bit embarrassed for bursting in almost 15 minutes late. 
Tomura swallowed hard as your shirt gaped in the front. It took an immense amount of control to not gaze outright into the swell of your chest. 
“You good?” you asked softly, head cocked like you were straight out of a fucking manga panel—tits on display with that stupid innocent, puzzled expression.  
“Uh yeah, sorry,” Tomura mumbled. 
You offered him this gross, clearly fake smile—because why the hell would you be grinning like that if it wasn’t just because you wanted something from him—as he threaded the cord behind his chair and plugged it in. 
“Thanks,” you replied and turned back towards the professor, typing away cause you actually take notes in this class. 
Of fucking course you did. 
Probably trying to impress everyone with how you typed practically every word the prof said. Tomura decidedly did not take notes, and didn’t really pay that much attention in general. Usually he just played some trashy phone game under the desk or dozed with his head against the cement wall. 
It had gotten to that portion of the semester when it was warmer outside but the buildings still had the heat cranked all the way up, especially here in the basement where the classroom was. That environment along with his usual hoodie/joggers combo created grade A napping conditions that Tomura took full advantage of. 
As a rule, he actually cared about school and he did relatively well. But this was just some dumbass liberal arts requirement course that had nothing to do with his actual major, so he was perfectly fine with coasting. Why his comp sci degree required him to take a fucking Restoration era English class, he had no clue. Apparently neither did his advisor other than that the ‘administration recommended it’ so their students would have a ‘well rounded learning experience.’ 
It was almost certainly just a cash grab to make him take more credits than was necessary to graduate, but whatever. He was here now. And so were you. Your presence was overwhelmingly clear, typing away and smelling like one of those insanely specific laundry detergent label scents—fucking rolling meadows and grandmother’s clean linen or something like that. 
He’d never sat this close to you before, but that didn’t stop you from annoying the shit out of him for the previous whole half semester and going since it was just now passing midterms. Long enough for him to have pegged you as a textbook try-hard, pick-me bitch. You contributed to discussion at every opportunity, turned in shit early, and debated other classmates regularly enough to disrupt his in-course sleep schedule. 
The way you dressed pissed him off too, with a particular style that was enough to stand out but not so over the top that it would cause disinterest from any potential mates.
And now you were filling his corner of the room with the overpowering smell of freshly washed hair and demanding he do things for you. 
Fucking disgusting. 
“Tomura Shigaraki.”
He jumped a third time, attention directed from his lap to the front of the room where the prof stood, listing out names from the board. He heard your name next followed by Kai Chisaki. The list was projected on the board as well, grouping everyone into twos or threes with “Final Project Partners” listed in bold Helvetica font at the top. 
Only fucking English profs used Helvetica. 
He vaguely remembered mentions of a final presentation—one of like three grades in this class cause the prof was almost certainly a sadist. 
No, not almost—definitely. Otherwise he wouldn’t have stuck him with you and that weirdo Kai pre-med student who insisted on acting so elitist you’d think he already had his fucking M.D. 
One time he asked Tomura to move seats at the start of the semester because he looked “dirty” and Kai liked to sit in the back—which, fair enough, it wasn’t like Tomura showered as frequently as he probably should but what the fuck??  
With you rushing in late, chest out and panting every now and again from your apparent sprint across campus, Tomura was certain he’d be subjected to a whole 6 weeks of watching you try to mount that fucking Kai dude instead of actually working. 
This was going to be a nightmare. 
From the end of the table, he saw you shifting and turned to find that stupid fucking smile flashed his way once again. 
If you had a tail, he’d bet it would be wagging. 
“Hey, well that’s convenient,” you chuckled and plopped down directly next to him, sliding your noisy ass drink across the table with you and brushing against his thigh when you shifted your bag to the side. 
“Yeah,” he nodded.
It most certainly was not. 
But Tomura would never say that because—as his roommate put it so kindly—he was kinda a pussy. 
People made him nervous, they always had. That’s why he liked computers so much. Code made sense, there were clear rules and when something didn’t work out, he could fix it eventually, but you couldn’t see people’s codes. You had to fucking guess at shit and it made his anxiety skyrocket which the sides of his neck and finger tips suffered for. 
So he cowered like the fucking dog you probably thought he was instead and kept his eyes on the floor, letting you set up in silence. 
“Who was our third?” you asked, glancing around the room. “Sorry, I was busy making a shared drive and I came in  late so I missed that last bit.”
Why the hell did you feel the need to apologize all the goddamn time? Seriously, who would believe you were actually sorry for being irritating as hell. 
And god if he thought you were irritating. 
“Kai,” he grumbled simply as the man in question sauntered over to the table and fucking Clorox wiped down the seat before sitting.  
Tomura watched your smile falter just a bit and grinned inwardly at the slip in your fake little persona. But you didn’t say anything more, just moved your chair back so the three of you were in a semi-circle and pulled up a few pdfs on your laptop. 
“Cool, so I was looking over the directions on the syllabus last week and I set up a little work delegation thing so we can distribute everything pretty evenly,” you jumped right in, tone matter of fact in the down-to-business manner he was used to hearing from you during class discussions. 
It was better than you so clearly forcing yourself to be overly polite, and he honestly couldn’t really care less if you wanted to take charge of this thing. You seemed kinda bossy, but he begrudgingly admitted that your suck up behavior did mean you sort of knew what you were talking about. He was just here to pass and you might actually make that a lot easier. 
It was okay as long as he was taking advantage of you, he told himself. And you would be too stupid to notice, so he could play your game and play pretend nice all the way to an A. 
That walking condescension on the other hand— 
“I’m not doing that,” Kai huffed through his ever-present mask. 
Tomura wasn’t actually sure he’d ever seen the bastards face without it. 
“What?” you laughed awkwardly. “Yes you are, you don’t really have much of a choice.” 
You stared at your classmate who simply stared right back with his own, equally confused expression. 
“Why do you look so surprised?” you asked after a moment of silence. 
You weren’t smiling anymore and your voice had dropped down about a fucking octave. At least you sounded more like a person and not some wannabe uwu gamer bitch.
“People don’t talk to me like that,” Kai looked at you down his nose, legs spread wide and elbow resting on his knees. 
Tomura could feel the pretentiousness wafting from him in waves, and waited with bated breath for you to get kicked off your pedestal. Just a bit though, he did need you around to do most of his work for this thing. 
But in a shocking turn of events, you just laughed dryly twice and turned back to your laptop screen, mumbling as you did. 
“Really? Well they should.” 
Tomura would have laughed too, but he didn’t feel like inflating your ego. Kai on the other hand looked a bit like you’d just spit on shoes and furrowed those stupid, plucked thin eyebrows at the back of your head. 
“So Tomura, you code right?” you asked, turning away from Kai completely to address him. “I just remember you saying you were in comp sci when we did introductions.” 
He was taken aback by the knowledge that he existed as a person in your head outside of this room for a moment and simply nodded—suddenly feeling far too hot in his black on black sweats and hoodie. 
God just talking to you made his skin burn. 
“Great, cause we’re allowed to chose the medium we present in and I was thinking of taking it in a more creative direction cause I’ve had this prof before and he eats that shit up,” you begin to ramble again, scrolling through a bulleted list, shifting the screen for him to see. 
“Right,” he murmured, still surprised you’d thought this far and not...actively hating what you’d brainstormed. 
Well, it was a bit juvenile and you clearly didn’t know what you were talking about but the concept wasn’t horrendous. He could work with that and it shouldn’t be too hard. It kinda seemed like you’d overestimated a bit with how challenging it would actually be and saddled yourself with most of the heavy lifting. That or you were just a control freak which was a little more believable.
He wished you would stop looking at him over the edge of the screen. He could feel himself starting to sweat. Rivulets falling down the nape of his neck and racing across his bare chest under the sweatshirt. Tomura sorta regretted not wearing a shirt underneath but he knew that he wouldn’t have taken off the insulating layer even if that had been an option. 
It would just mean you had more drying, pale as fuck skin to look at and judge him for because he knew that’s what you were doing. Fucking vapid and shallow like everyone else. 
“It’s really rough so far, but I have it the gist outlined,” you indicated to another tab and then turned back to Kai who had been sitting silently glaring daggers into your back. “So, Kai, since you’re in STEM I figured you’d be okay with doing more of the preliminary research—”
“I don’t think so,” Kai interrupted, shaking his head and pushing off his knees to lean back in the cheap, plastic seat. “Look, it’ll be easier for all of us if you two just make it look pretty and I can handle the oral presentation.” 
You gaped and looked to Tomura with this pathetic fucking incredulous stare, like you thought he’d back you up. 
Which actually, now that he thought about it was probably a good idea—he did need you to remain somewhat cordial with him—but he certainly didn’t care enough to defend you in any way. Kai was a dick, sure, but he wasn’t gonna let you rope him into being your white knight or whatever. 
He settled for a similarly disgruntled downward twitch of his lips. The movement pulled at the cracking skin which stung as it tore open even more. Tomura felt the familiar crawling feeling on his neck and shifted in his seat to resist the urge to scratch. 
He couldn’t pinpoint why exactly you staring at him was so uncomfortable. He didn’t like you, he didn’t care about you and by extension didn’t give two shits what you thought of him, but anything he might have said shriveled on his tongue when you spoke or looked in his eyes too long. 
Tomura had never made a habit of talking to females and they certainly had never wanted anything to do with him either. 
Maybe he was fucking allergic or something. 
Whatever the case, you seemed to take his half frown as a sign of solidarity and leaned back in your own seat. 
“Okay, look,” you retorted. “If you’re seriously not gonna at least try to cooperate, then there is actually an option to do the project by yourself and I suggest you take it.” 
The look on your face was distinctly impolite. There was a sharpness to the set of your jaw that Tomura had never seen before, but it looked practiced enough that he could bet it was simply the snake that resided in every woman just waiting to come out. 
“Look sweetheart—” that masked jerk began, also for some fucking reason looking to Tomura for support. 
For someone who was very much used to blending into the background scenery, this was the most eye contact Tomura had ever made in a day. 
Except on the rare occasions his roommate had friends over and he had to make the dreaded trek from his room to reach the fridge. 
“Oh yeah I’m not doing that,” you closed your laptop sharply and rolled your eyes. “I get it, but I’m really just trying to graduate. I don’t think this is going to work out and you,” Tomura froze as you shifted your gaze to him once again, “seem okay, so Tomura and I can just work this out by ourselves and you can find a different group.” 
Kai scoffed behind the black layer of fabric covering his mouth and slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Whatever.” 
Tomura watched him saunter straight out the door as the room was filled with the shuffling of notebooks and zipping of backpacks. 
“God,” you huffed and turned back to him. 
His raw skin burned under the new wave of heat and accompanying moisture that slicked his skin when you scooted closer to him. That clean laundry and shampoo smell was suffocating from this proximity. 
Did you fucking bathe in the stuff? 
He was becoming increasingly aware of his less than pleasant aroma and the fact that you not scrunching your nose up in disgust just out of some stupid, ingrained need to appease him. 
“Well, that was...weird,” you chuckled in a way that was probably meant to break the tension. 
Unfortunately Tomura felt more like he was about to break out in hives if you came any closer so it really just ended up making the atmosphere ten times more awkward. At least for him. You, somehow, remained resolutely unaware. 
“Mhm,” he hummed in response and picked silently at the skin of his fingers. 
“Anyway, I have a meeting in a few but we can trade numbers and pick a time to meet up sometime tomorrow maybe?” you suggested, quickly saving the steadily degrading vibes of the conversation and pulled out your phone. 
He really hated the full body pulsation that rushed through him at the thought of getting a girls number. It made him fucking sick at himself for falling into your stupid trap to get him interested. Was your plan to just use him to get a good grade or whatever and then block his texts?
It wasn’t like Tomura didn’t know about his status as the class ‘freak.’ That one guy everyone whispers about and makes sure not to sit next to. And he knows you know, so why the hell else would you act so nice?
He wanted to say something scathing in return. That he could do the whole thing by himself too—which he definitely couldn’t but that was irrelevant—and that he didn’t need you bossing him around either. 
“Sure thing,” he said instead and took your offered phone all too eagerly, typing in his number and watching as you shot off a text back so he’d have yours. 
His phone buzzed against his thigh and he jumped a fourth time, but you seemed not to notice as you packed your bag and grabbed your basic ass drink. The ice clattered against the tumbler, dropping cool condensation against the searing skin of his hand. 
Tomura shivered as you waved over your shoulder and slipped out the door with another rush of students. 
He sat silently in the empty room for a moment, trying to process the last hour. He pinched himself idly, wondering if it had all been just a weird dream, but the results were inconclusive. A minute or two passed before he pulled out his phone to scroll through the list of reddit and discord notifs to find your text. 
Unknown Number:
— pEopLe DoN’t TaLK tO mE liKE ThAt 
— not very plus ultra of him...smh
— anyway, library at 6 tomorrow ?
 Tomura caved, digging his nails into the side of his neck and hissed at the pain, confirming the day's horrible reality. 
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Bucky Barnes x Reader: Mystery Fever (Extended)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem reader
Word Count: 1,715
Summary:
 I extended this from last night. 
 Okay, this blog is anonymous, but I wanted to write this. I have this ultra-rare condition called Nephropathic Cystinosis, and it is discussed in this one-shot. Not in great detail, but it is. And Cystinosis Fever is a thing that has happened to me. It’s possible I’ll continue with this sort of thing....Let me know if you want more. For the moment it’s a reader insert, but may turn into something else. 
*******************************************************************************************
Y/N sat at the kitchen table in the Avengers compound, in the shared kitchen and she didn’t feel quite right. She got up to fill her water when Bucky walked in.
He smiled upon seeing her. “Hey, doll.” His grin widened as he walked over to her and curled a hand around her waist, placing a chaste kiss to her lips, which he immediately noticed were chapped. And her skin felt too warm under his touch, the body heat radiating off of her was more than was usual for her. He pulled back slightly and pressed his lips to her forehead, letting them linger there much longer than necessary. She knew exactly what he was doing but didn’t say anything, she knew he was trying to hide it under the guise of a forehead kiss.
Then he frowned and dropped all pretense, pressing his flesh hand to her forehead. His frown deepened. “Doll, you’re warm. Really warm.” He moved his hand from her head to her cheek and she leaned into his touch, humming slightly at how good it felt against her overheated skin. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”
She looked up at her boyfriend, bleary eyed, and smiled softly. They had only officially been an item for a couple of weeks. Before that, they had been going out about a month, and two weeks ago, Bucky had asked her to be his girl. He was protective before that, but after, it was like some sort of primal need of his that he couldn’t control. The need to protect her, take care of her, and keep her safe always there. And the fact that his girlfriend had an ultra-rare and potentially dangerous disease just made the urge even stronger. Bucky knew that Y/N had Nephropathic Cystinosis. A lysosomal storage disease. A genetic, metabolic condition that caused fifteen secondary conditions in Y/N’s case. There were only a few others in the compound that knew. Tony, Pepper, and Steve. Bucky looked almost ashamed when he didn’t know what it was, but she assured Bucky most doctors didn’t even know. About 2,500 people in the world had it. Then she went on to explain it to him. After that, he was determined to learn all he could about it, how it affected her, to go to her doctor’s appointments with her (when he could and when the next one came up), you name it. She realized this was something she’d never really discussed with him before, because well, it hadn’t come up yet. And this hadn’t happened to her in a quite a while.
“I think…” she mumbled, and Bucky waited for her to continue. “We used to call it Cystinosis fever when I was younger.”
His heart did a little lurch. Cystinosis fever? There was a specific fever his girl could get with this condition? “What’s that?” he mumbled.
“It’s an unexplainable, sudden onset fever. It can last a couple hours or a couple days, never really sure.”
He nodded slowly. “What else happens, other than the fever?”
“Depends. It’s different every time. Headache, nausea, cough, exhaustion, dizziness…” she trailed off and leant her head against his chest and gripped his forearms. He though she was feeling some dizziness now. He rubbed her back and then sat her down in the nearest chair.
“I’m gonna take your temperature.”
“Bucky, I can take my own-“ but he’d already walked off to get the thermometer from her room. He was back in a flash and knelt down in front of her.
“Open up,” he said and she obediently opened her mouth so he could place the thermometer beneath her tongue. A minute or so later it beeped and he removed it, looking down at the numbers. “102.2,” he mumbled, glancing up at her. “Alright, come on.” He hoisted her into his arms. “I’ll take care of you. Let’s get you to bed.”
Tony walked by at that moment and smirked, as usual his mind in the gutter. “Feeling frisky, Barnes?”
“Shut up, Tony,” he grumbled, his face going slightly pink. Bucky and Y/N hadn’t even been intimate like that yet, and he couldn’t help the flush on his cheeks, nor could his girlfriend. “Y/N’s not feeling well.”
Tony’s features softened. “What’s up, kid?”
“Little fever, I’ll be fine.”
“Well sure, with the bionic man to take care of you, those germs better run if they know what’s good for them.”
Even Bucky couldn’t help but smile a little at that.
“Tony?”
“Yeah?”
“Could you hand me that bottle of water?”
“Sure.” He handed Y/N the bottle and she held it carefully.
“Need any help, Barnes?”
There was hint of a glare in Bucky’s eyes as he looked back at him. “I can handle this, Stark, thanks.”
Extended ‘Ending’
Bucky deposited Y/N gently onto the bed, and took the bottle of water from her, setting it on the nightstand. She had been dozing and looked around. “This is your room,” she mumbled, though she curled up on the bed as Bucky pulled his sheets over her and tucked them in around her. 
“I know,” he said, another light blush dusting his cheeks. “It was the closest to the kitchen.” 
“Thank you,” she said, a yawn parting her lips. 
“Sure.” He smoothed her hair back. “What else do you need?” 
“Nothing, I just...” she paused, and Bucky leaned forward a bit, but Y/N threw the covers off and Bucky moved out of the way she ran to his en suite bathroom. He followed and saw her bent over the toilet, vomiting up the little that was in her stomach. He walked up behind her and crouched down, gathering her hair in his hand to keep it out of her face, rubbing her back. It took several more minutes before she stopped and stood up, wiping at her eyes with her right hand. Unfortunately, since learning about her medical condition, and being trusted enough by her to let him see these parts of her life, he’d seen her throw up several times. And every time, her eyes would tear like crazy.
“You okay?” Bucky asked, still rubbing her back. 
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, walking over to his sink and splashing cold water on her face, then grabbing a cup and rinsing her mouth. The sad thing was, she meant it. To her, this wasn’t a big deal. She got sick like this (threw up) several times a week. She told him that for years there she threw up every single day. To Bucky, though, it was. To see his girl bent over the toilet, throwing up the little contents that was usually in her stomach. It was often nearly a fight to get her to eat, this condition affected her appetite, too. 
“Right,” Bucky mumbled, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it, then ringing it out. “Come on, doll, lay back down.”
She did as he said and laid back down in his bed, and he again pulled the sheets over her, then knelt down in front of her and dabbed her face, forehead and neck with the wet cloth. This was something that he learned made her feel better, even when she claimed she was fine. As she had a tendency to do, often to Bucky’s dismay, She hummed and closed her eyes and he placed the cloth down. “It’s right next to you if you need it.” She nodded, “What else do you need?”
“Where’s my water?” she mumbled, opening her eyes. 
“I’ve got it.” He grabbed the bottle and opened it. She smiled some and shook her head gently as he held it to her lips. “Bucky I can..” He shrugged and she rolled her eyes playfully, then took a big gulp and then another. This was something else Bucky had learned. For her, Cystinosis caused chronic dehydration. Which meant she was always, always thirsty. She took another big gulp. 
“Doll, stop,” he said softly, gently pulling the bottle away from her mouth, a trickle of water falling down her chin. She went to wipe it away but Bucky beat her to it. “You’ll make yourself sick again.” 
She huffed out an irritated sigh, but didn’t argue. ”Alright, it’s right here. Don’t make yourself sick, alright?”
She nodded. 
“Okay, what else do you need?” 
She nibbled her bottom lip. 
“What is it?”
“Can you stay with me?”
Bucky was confused. “Of course, that’s what I was going to-”
“No, I mean, in here.” She gestured to the bed. “I just...” she hesitated, suddenly shy. “I want to...cuddle. Want you to hold me. That would make me feel better.” 
Bucky smiled, his whole being feeling warm and his heart swelling with affection and....was it love? The word scared him, but he didn’t overthink it or even mention it out loud, he didn’t want to scare Y/N off, not with saying that so soon.
“Sure, babydoll, of course.” She smiled up at him, her cheeks a light pink. 
“I’ll make you something to eat later.”
Her nose wrinkled.
“Later,” he repeated with a grin, and she nodded. “I’ll make the soup my mom used to make when me or Steve were sick. Mostly Steve.” She gazed up at him with a smile, her eyes full of affection, as well.
“I love to cook,” she muttered, turning her face into the pillow.
“I know, doll, but not today, okay?”
She sighed. “Alright. Overprotective,” she muttered, but he could hear the smirk in her voice. He was, he knew it, but he couldn’t help himself.
“For you, yeah.”
He took off his shoes and his long sleeve shirt (there was a shirt underneath it) , but left everything else on. He wasn’t sure they were quite there yet. Then he moved to the other side of the bed, hesitated a moment, and lifted his covers, crawling in behind her. His arm draped over her waist and his other hand went to her hair, scratching lightly and soothingly at her scalp until she fell asleep in his arms. And though he didn’t want his girl to feel sick, he loved holding her like this, and hoped there would be many more chances in the future to do just that. He kissed her top of her head, but stayed up to watch over her. His girl, his little warrior. 
309 notes · View notes
mercy-burning · 4 years
Text
Out Of Commission
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After being severely injured on a case, Reader needs to take it easy, and she finds a creative way for Spencer to make her feel better. Category: Smut 18+ (male masturbation, dirty talk - mentions of fingering, penetrative sex, overstimulation and multiple orgasms) Warnings: Sex, language, brief mentions of injury (As always, if there’s anything I missed, let me know what I should include in warnings! I want to be as mindful as I can about what I post. Thank you!) Word Count: 1.9k (she’s a short one, but hella spicy, so I hope that makes up for it lol)
***EDITED: 7/25/2021***
PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST 
***
The first week was okay. She was resting and taking it easy, as she should, but by the second week of sitting in bed or on the couch, with extra coddling from her boyfriend and her family and her friends, Y/N was growing restless.
It's not like she didn't enjoy or appreciate the constant affection and nice gestures from Spencer in particular, but she wanted something different, something she knew he would refuse in fear of tearing her stitches or irritating her wounds.
Why did serial killers have to be so goddamn inconvenient?
It didn't help that Spencer was at her house almost every night. He'd offered to take the couch a few times, but Y/N dumbly insisted he stay in her bed with her, hoping his presence would bring her comfort. And to some degree it did, of course, but more often than not Y/N found herself wanting nothing more than to wrap herself up in him and kiss him until they both fell asleep. And sometimes that did happen, though Spencer was careful to watch where he placed his hands, pulling his body away from hers almost completely at times so he wouldn't hurt her or make her uncomfortable.
Even though it was obvious to the two of them that they both wanted more, it was just too dangerous, and Y/N needed to heal properly.
One night she was sitting in bed, watching a movie she'd already seen about twenty times, about ready to turn it off when Spencer walked in, a bag of Red Vines in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.
"I thought you might want a snack," he said with a smile as he brought them over, leaning down and giving her a chaste kiss on the forehead. "How are you feeling?"
Y/N turned off the TV and shrugged. She opened the water bottle as Spencer climbed into bed next to her. He remained on top of the covers, leaning his back against the headboard and turning his head to look at her.
"I'm alright," she answered after taking a drink of water. "Nothing hurts. I'm just bored."
He placed a hand on her knee over the comforter and snuggled just a little closer. "If anything starts to hurt, let me know. I'll get you your medicine."
Y/N smiled up at her boyfriend and leaned forward to kiss him, saying, "thank you," before their lips met. It was a small, sweet kiss, but after they pulled away, Y/N went in for another, bringing her hand up to lightly brush Spencer's cheek. He kissed her back softly, his hand massaging her knee with the same tenderness.
She slipped her tongue into his mouth carefully when their lips parted, and his hand squeezed her knee a little harder. But he didn't pull away, so she took that as a good sign. She could feel herself getting more excited as his hand slipped up her leg through the comforter to grip her thigh, so she sighed into his mouth and brought her hand down to run over his torso, using her nails to lightly scratch him through his shirt.
His grip on her thigh tightened when she slipped her hand under the tee shirt, bringing it around his waist to pull him closer to her.
"Wait, Y/N," Spencer said, pulling away from her completely. She pouted when she looked at him and he looked just as disappointed as she was. "We... We can't. You're not healed properly, and it's not safe right now. We should stop."
Not completely willing to give up yet, she leaned her head down onto his shoulder, snuggling up to him and pressing a kiss to his neck as she guided his hand to his lap. Right over the bulge she knew would already be forming.
"Well... Just because I'm out of commission doesn't mean you have to be... Don't you want to feel good?"
She gripped his hand tighter and ran it over his dick through the fabric of his sweatpants. "How long has it been since you touched yourself, hmm?" she whispered into his ear, taking it softly between her teeth for a moment as she continued to guide his hand.
Spencer's breathing picked up and he shifted a little. She could feel him swallow before answering. "Um... A-about a month? And a half?"
"So... not once since I've been injured? Baby..." She made it a point to sound as sorry as she could, continuing to kiss his neck and leave little licks and bites that would surely leave marks. "I know I can't really physically help you, but... What if I kept talking? Hmm? Would you like that?"
She felt his breath hitch when her hand left his and grabbed his chin to face her. She could see in his eyes how badly he wanted to take control. But she was, in fact, out of commission, and no matter how much they both wanted it, this was the next best thing.
Y/N ran her thumb along his lower lip as she softly bit her own, her eyes completely lost in his. "Let me help you feel good, baby... Please..."
Once she pulled out the begging, he was done for. And they both knew it.
Spencer gave in, turning his head to kiss the palm of her hand as he shifted, lifting his hips off the bed to slide down his pants and underwear just enough to pull out his dick. Y/N smiled and started kissing his neck again, using one of her hands to gently graze her fingernails up and down his stomach and chest under his shirt.
She watched intently as his hand moved in slow, deliberate strokes, his thumb occasionally swiping over the tip and smearing precum over it. "Mmm, I missed seeing your cock, baby," she spoke softly into his neck, pressing open mouthed kisses to it every so often in between words. "I love watching how good you work it... So nice and slow... And your hand... God, it's so hot seeing you use your hands..."
Spencer let out a small whine as Y/N started sucking on his neck, her hand paying careful attention to his nipples under his shirt. His hand moved a little faster, and she smiled against him.
"Tell me... If you could fuck me right now, what would you do to me?" she whispered in his ear, using her unoccupied hand to play and tug at his hair as she watched him jerk off.
He didn't answer for a few moments, concentrating on working his dick and being caught up in the way she felt him up, his breathing a little ragged.
"Hmm?" she pressed, tugging harder on his hair, and he whimpered.
"I... I'd want to take you f-from behind," he choked out honestly, squeezing his eyes shut as he continued his ministrations.
Y/N laughed softly, kissing his jawline. "Mmm, I love when you fuck me from behind... Especially over the counter. I love feeling your pretty fingers dig into my hips as you just pound me into the cold marble..."
His noises got a little louder as she kissed down his throat and neck, moaning into his skin as she did so. "Fuck, I miss having your cock inside me, baby... I miss it so much, you always know how to fuck me so good..."
At this point she was absolutely worked up, her pussy clenching around nothing as she slowly laid out these filthy images for her boyfriend. It was frustrating to say the least, knowing she couldn't do anything about it without potentially hurting herself. She thought about slipping a hand under the covers and masturbating with him, but truthfully she wasn't sure how it would affect her healing. Even sitting up this long, her torso slightly twisted so she could lean into Spencer's body and help him out was starting to take its toll.
So, she tried her hardest to ignore what her lower half was feeling and laser all her attention onto her boyfriend, who was dangerously close to finding release. She watched as his hand moved, lost in the soft, wet sounds of his quick movements mixing beautifully with his whines and moans. "Y/N, I... Fuck," he breathed, leaning his head back against the headboard.
She nodded, softly rubbing her thighs together as she kissed his neck and watched his hand. "I know, baby... What do you want, hmm? The first thing you want to do to me as soon as I'm all better..."
"I... I want... I want to finger you... I wanna feel your legs clench around my hand while I finger you from behind."
Y/N let out a breathy laugh against his neck, licking and sucking at it again. "Mmm, you would like that, wouldn't you? To feel me cum on your fingers? Shaking around them while I yell out your name?"
"Fuck, Y/N, yes," he managed through a moan.
She hummed into his skin, noticing how heavy his breathing was getting. Since he was close, she put extra performance into her words, taking the time to say each one slowly, and with just the right amount of softness and innocence in her tone.
"And then, even after you've made me cum, I'd bet you'd love to keep fucking me... Only this time you'd want to see my face, because you'd love to make me cry from fucking me so hard... You'd love seeing mascara run down my face, hearing how whiny I am, begging you to stop because it's too much..."
Spencer leaned the side of his head against hers as his breathing picked up. "Shit," he breathed, his voice shaky.
"And you'd love to wipe the tears from my face as you fuck me even harder, telling me to take it like a good girl..."
That was all it took for him to finally finish. Y/N was prepared, lifting up his shirt so that he could cum mostly on his stomach. She moaned right along with him, using her other hand to stroke his jaw as he came. She watched with wonder and adoration as the thick, white substance landed in perfect splatters all over his stomach.
His hand slowed to a stop once he was finished, and Y/N pressed a soft, sensual kiss to jaw, right before turning his face to meet hers. He kissed her lazily, their tongues both colliding with soft strokes that grew heavier on Y/N's part until Spencer pulled away.
She whined at the loss of contact, and he laughed softly. "You didn't really think this through, did you?"
"Uh-uh," she replied with another whine, burying her face in his shoulder.
He laughed again and kissed the top of her head. She still held his shirt up to his chest so it wouldn't get messy, so he sat up off the headboard a little and pulled it all the way off, tossing it to the floor. "I gotta get cleaned up. Maybe when I'm done we should get you into a cold shower."
She stuck her tongue out at him before an idea struck her. Spencer was about to get up, but she grabbed his arm. "Wait. Let me help."
He raised an eyebrow, but didn't stop her when she brought her fingers to his stomach, scooping up some of his cum and bringing it to her lips, smearing it there for a moment before cleaning it all off. She looked him in the eye the entire time, though that clearly gave away how frustrated she still was that she couldn't get herself off.
"That didn't help you at all, did it?" Spencer mused.
Y/N pouted. "No..."
He kissed her on the head again before getting out of bed. "I'm gonna go run you a shower, okay? How cold do you want it?"
"Very cold."
906 notes · View notes
salty-rey · 3 years
Text
Saving Lives
Bad Batch Fic | Sequel to Come Back
Pairing: Crosshair x reader (hinting)
Words: 2.8k
Warnings: Bodily injuries, blood, story time!
A/N: Hello! I wanted to write something that elaborated on the relationship between the sniper and combat medic. It’s rather rough, proof-read once (thank you Grammarly), and I may not captured Crosshair’s personality perfect. I hope you enjoy, and I will be back with another story!
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Roughly two weeks have passed since the last mission, and during those long days, you were recovering from being shot. Being bedridden was not ideal, almost driving you stir crazy. Especially whenever you tried sneaking out of the barracks, there was always one member of the Bad Batch there to stop you. 
Wrecker freaked out when he caught you slowly shuffling towards the bathroom, asking why you were out of bed in panic. He only helped you after explaining your destination, waited outside before actually carrying you back to your cot. 
Echo spotted you slowly making your way to the kitchen area before redirecting you back to bed like a concerned older brother, staying by your side and offering his arm for support in case you felt weak. Quite the gentleman.. At least he went back to get whatever food you were craving. 
Tech found you attempting to do some stretches since you were stuck in bed for Maker knows how long. He lectured you on the facts that your wound may open again if you attempt any movement during a specific time frame. Even when you decided to lay back down he was still lecturing!
As for Hunter, he entered the barracks, catching you standing on your feet. You were in the middle of putting your chest piece armor back on when you winced at the slight sting of your wound. The Sergeant went full dad mode on you, scolding you for moving when you’re still recovering. Now you knew how it felt like to be Omega, which caused you to accidentally say, “Okay, dad.”
You watched Hunter’s back stiffen, an unreadable expression crossing his face before he turned around, leaving you alone in the barracks. What was that? You thought before sighing, slowly removing your chest piece. 
Speaking of Omega. Maker, bless that little girl. 
When you were initially knocked out after returning to the Havoc Marauder, Omega refused to leave your side. The boys tried to reassure her that you would be alright, but she wouldn’t budge. After a couple of hours, you woke up, disoriented at first, before spotting the little girl fast asleep on a chair at your bedside. Hunter was awake at the time, and he explained everything while you rested. The boys learned that it was indeed a trooper who shot you and not Crosshair because Omega was persistent in backing you up in your story. You watched the Sergeant carefully picking the youngest member up and carrying her to her makeshift bedroom.
You were awake when Omega rushed into the small barracks, eyes wide before spotting you. She first cried tears of joy, happy to you see that you were okay. Hearing her crying caused Hunter and the other boys to rush in, worried that something was wrong before relaxing after you explained why Omega was crying. 
Since that moment, Omega stayed and kept you company. Whenever she wasn’t informing you of the group’s next objective, she would ask if you needed anything like food or water. You felt bad having her grab something to eat for you, and you mentioned it to one of the boys whenever they pass the barracks. 
“I’ll let her know. She is looking after her teammate though.” Hunter commented before leaving. 
One day during the weeks of recovery, Omega came to your bed per usual and sat down. You were reading on your datapad before glancing up. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” she first started off, looking a bit nervous. 
“Sure, what’s up?” You asked after putting your datapad down. 
“I heard stories of the Bad Batch back on Kamino, but I was hoping to hear how you became part of the team. Since you’re not a clone like us. I-if you don’t mind!” The child asked bashfully, causing you to smile. 
“Of course! Heh, no need to be shy,” you grinned before relaxing against your pillow. “I was formally part of the 501st under General Skywalker, still as a combat medic. I helped aid their soldiers and taught any clones who wanted to become a medic. But I was taken out of that battalion and introduced to these guys after Wrecker’s accident.” You said, pointing to the left side of your face. 
Omega frowned at the mention of the deep scar on the more giant clone’s face. 
“Do you...know how he got it?”
“Not the specific details. Just that his fondness for exploding things up got the best of him at that moment,” you answered. “But that is a story for Wrecker to tell you himself. After his incident and intense care, the Kaminoans and High Command thought that it would be best for the Bad Batch to have a medic at all times. And that’s where I came in.”
“What was it like first joining them?” Omega asked, scooting her chair closer, eager to know more.
You laugh nervously before answering awkwardly, “A nat-born joining a bunch of mutated clones who have a distaste for regs? It wasn’t sunshine and rainbows, Omega. At least, for some time.”
“Wait. Hunter and the others were mean to you?” Omega looked shocked, unable to imagine any of her older brothers being cruel. She began to turn towards the door, ready to get up and give the boys an earful.
“Whoa, whoa. Easy there, targon.” You quickly said, grasping her hand to stop her. “They weren’t mean to me. Just...indifferent.” Omega looked confused still, but she was no longer about to charge out of the room. Seeing that the girl was relaxed, you let go of her hand. 
“The boys are thick as thieves. Having a complete stranger joining them for Maker knows how long it was off-putting. But, one by one, they slowly welcomed me into their merry band. Well, all except Crosshair.” The mentioning of his name caused you to frown, your hand gripping the sheets. 
Omega noticed your shift of emotions, her eyebrows knitting together in worry. “You two were close.”
You couldn’t help but softly laugh a bit. “Not at first. He was the hardest one to be accepted by. It took us potentially dying just to get close.”
At that, Omega’s eyes widened, her jaw-dropping, and you knew that you had to tell her the story now, or she will never leave you alone. 
“Keep up, medic. Or I’m going to leave you behind.”
“Where have I heard that before?” 
It has been several months since you have joined Clone Force 99. And each mission has been quite eventful. All dangerous, non-stop action and heart-pounding moments. You had seen your share of action before joining this group, especially when you were with General Skywalker and his boys in blue. But the 501st pale compared to the Bad Batch. Then again, the Bad Batch is sent to suicide missions, unlike the 501st, so the comparisons aren’t fair. 
Such missions that you were on right now. 
Infiltrate a Separatist’s stronghold, eliminate the enemy commander and destroy their entire base. Nothing new but this time, you found yourself on a thick rainforest-like planet. It was the dead of night, using the shadows to your advantage. While the boys handled the assigned target, you and Crosshair were tasked to eliminate any remaining outside forces and retrieve a getaway vehicle. 
You have been paired with Crosshair in the past, but they have never been pleasant. The sniper all but ignored you or let out harsh remarks, insulting even, but you did your best not to let it get to you. All attempts to befriend him or have him loosen up a bit around you. It was all in vain, though, and even the rest of the batch members have told you to simply give up.
“It’s not you,” Hunter said one day as they were currently jumping through hyperspace. “He’ll come around. Just you wait.”
But it has been so long now. When will it happen? You were getting tired of the glares and sneers, but you refused to give in. 
Focusing back on the mission, the two of you reached the edge of the forest, locating the hanger currently guarded by battle droids. 
“Those dwarf spider droids may be a problem,” you stated, spotting the said droid following the standard clankers. 
“You should have stayed on the ship if you’re going to get cold feet. You’re useless on the battlefield,” Crosshair sneered under his helmet. You remained quiet, refusing to glance at him. To give him any satisfaction of his words stinging you intensely. 
“Just give me some cover fire. And don’t hit me,” you stated before donning your eyeshield then rushing in with your dual pistols. 
Having done this countless times, taking down the droids has become second nature to you. So, one by one, the droids fall, caught off guard from a sniper shot from the thick forest. They were also surprised to see a single soldier rushing them with nothing but two pistols. 
Once the separate hangar was secured, Crosshair silently joined you, neither one speaking. No “thanks” or “great job.” Then again, the Bad Batch weren’t the ones to compliment each other. Do the job, and get out alive. 
“Crosshair, (Y/N). What’s your status?” Hunter’s voice came through the comlink. 
“Just cleared out the hangar. We’re getting the getaway vehicle right now,” you responded as Crosshair began to hotwire one of the landspeeders. 
The landspeeder came to life, and you quickly hopped on, not wanting to test to see if Crosshair would actually leave you behind. The speeder raced down towards the rest of the crew’s location, staying on time with the plan. As the wind whipped through your light armor clothing, you began to hear a faint beeping sound. Leaning down to the ground, the beeping was getting louder and faster. 
“There’s a bomb!” You shouted with realization before rushing towards Crosshair. 
The sniper didn’t have enough time to respond because you tackled him off the ledge of the speeder. You had thought that you reacted quick enough, but the planted bomb exploded, launching the two of you further into the air. You felt your hands slip from Crosshair’s armor, separating the two of you. 
Then, you landed hard onto the ground, and you felt something snap within you. You couldn’t scream, the air being knocked out of you as your body tumbled and rolled to a stop. Summoning whatever strength you had, you slowly pushed yourself up with your arms before sharply sucking in some air, pain flaring on your right side. Carefully feeling your side, you came to a quick conclusion before gasping.  
Crosshair?! Looking around, you spotted the nonmoving clone a few feet away from you, and your stomach dropped at the sight of him. The silver-haired man was lying on his back, his helmet knocked off his head, and you spotted blood oozing from a cut above his eyebrow. Not only that but his right arm and left leg were awkwardly twisted. 
Fighting off your own pain, you crawled towards him before pushing yourself on your feet. The world spun, almost causing you to fall backward, but you quickly regained your balance. We can’t stay out in the open. That explosion will attract more droids to our location. 
Placing his helmet back on his head, you hook your arms under his shoulders. 
Dragging his body deeper into the forest was no easy feat. You were panting and sweating, your head was pulsing, and the pain on your side was overbearing. With every shift, you felt your bones poking at your lungs, causing you to slow down before resuming.
There! 
You spotted a large tree, and underneath the roots, the ground sunk and became hollow. It was a perfect hiding spot, and droids are dumb; they never look up or down. 
Not wasting any more time, you slid both you and Crosshair into the hole, and once settled, you immediately went to work. 
.
.
.
.
Crosshair slowly opened his eyes, blinking several times as his vision cleared. He tried sitting up, but that caused his head to ache more than it already was. Raising a hand, he felt bandages wrapping around most of his head.
“Leave it alone unless you want to bleed again.” 
Crosshair looked over, spotting you sitting nearby, weapons at hand. “What happened?” The sniper groaned, lowering his arm down.
“The landspeeder had a bomb planted and exploded. You broke your arm and leg and had a concussion.” You answered, receiving another groan from the clone after he noticed those said injuries wrapped up in wooden splints. “I’m guessing if the vehicle was activated improperly, it would self-destruct. No wonder the GAR had issues with this Separatist; they thought of everything. Hey! What are you doing?”
Crosshair had begun to sit up, using his good arm to push himself from the floor. “What does it look like?”
“You’re not fit to move around, Crosshair! And neither am I.” You shouted, shuffling towards him, putting your hand on his shoulder, forcing him to stop. “I broke 3 ribs, and I can feel them poking my lungs. Hunter knows of our situation, and they’re working right now to find a way to pick us up.”
Crosshair pushed your hand off of him with his good arm, his glare piercing you. “I don’t need you telling me what to do.”
“Apparently, someone does. As your medic, my word is final when it comes to your wellbeing.” You snapped back, putting your hand back on his shoulder and pushing him down. “I’m not letting you toss your life away, all because you want to be stubborn!”
“Don’t act as you care about us clones!” The sniper growled, struggling underneath your hold. “We’re exposable for you perfect nat-borns!”
Your grip on his shoulder loosen, and your glare slowly softened. “Is that why you hate me? Because I’m a perfect nat-born?” You questioned almost a bit too calmly, which startled Crosshair a bit. He wasn’t expecting this reaction from you. No glares or quick remarks. Just silence. 
“I am not perfect, Crosshair. No one is perfect. Nat-borns, regs, defects, we’re all the same. Living and breathing, filled with emotions and flaws. What we do with ourselves is what makes us unique.” You said before moving away from him. “I chose to be a medic because I was tired of seeing everyone dying around me.”
Crosshair slowly raised an eyebrow, his face slowly relaxing. “What...do you mean by that?”
You spare him a brief glance before leaning against a stomp, steadying your breathing. And so, you began your tale. 
You were born into slavery and having no memories of your parents, too young to really. Among the slaves were children such as yourself, and you called them brothers and sisters. However, one by one, they either died in accidents, killed by their masters, or sold off to buyers. Finally, after years of servitude, you managed to escape, sneaking onto a shuttle and never looking back. 
“The moment I left the shuttle, I was given another chance. A chance my brothers and sisters would never have. That’s when I decided to become a medic. Then I volunteered to be a combat medic because I wanted to save lives.” You finished your story, your breathing steady.
“Even if you were created to fight for someone else’s war, that doesn’t mean your life is meaningless. Believe it or not, but I do care about your life. And that of your brothers’. Losing a loved one is never easy, and I don’t want to see any of you go through that.” You fell silent before taking a small breath. “I didn’t tell you my life story so that you can pity me or for me to win you over. Just to tell you my reasoning in life. What you do with my story is up to you.”
Silence fell between the two of you. Neither one dared a glance at the other. You didn’t like opening up old wounds, telling others your story. The only one who knows is Anakin because the two of you share a kinship of being former slaves. 
An hour has passed, and your comlink came to life. Hunter and the rest of the Bad Batch contacted you, informing you that they have returned to the ship and are en route to pick both of you up. Their arrival was quick, and so was being carried into the Havoc Marauder. 
They had succeeded in their part of the mission, even if they were now chased by any remaining droids. It wasn’t an issue, though, once they left the planet and jumped into hyperspace.   
“After that, we were flown to the closest medical station, and we were both healed up.”
Omega was speechless. She had heard stories of the Bad Batch’s missions back on Kamino through word of mouth from the troops, but nothing detailed. This was quite the tale, and she felt a lot of emotions. The first thing that the girl managed to say was, “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. The important part is that we both survived, and after that, Crosshair wasn’t so harsh on me. In fact, he always had my back. It was his idea to outfit my old armor to that of Clone Force 99, officially making me one of them.” You replied with a soft smile. 
“Thank you for telling me your story. I hope we get Crosshair back soon because I would like to know what he was thinking throughout that moment.” Omega said, causing you to smile sadly. 
“Yeah, me too...”
Omega noticed your sadden expression at the thought of the sniper, awkwardly shifting in her chair. Hoping to lighten up the mode a bit, Omega asked you, “So, why is your nickname “Freckles”?” 
Your cheeks warmed up and you softly laughed, looking embarrassed. “When the rest of the boys checked up on us, I was being removed from a bacta tank. All I had on was my top and tight shorts. They saw that my mostly covered areas like my thighs were littered with freckles, and that’s where I got my nickname. It was embarrassing.”
“Yeah! But Crosshair was the one who pointed it out!” The booming voice of Wrecker came as the boys now stood at the doorway.
“From what I remembered, you were the one who whistled at her in the first place.” Tech pointed out. “Quite improper if you ask me, since she is part of our team.”
“Need I remind you that you were the one who recorded the whole thing,” Hunter added in. “Don’t you think that’s improper?”
The boys began to bicker among each other, except for Echo who simply listened to the retelling of that moment with intrigue. All of this just made you blush harder, covering your face with the sheets. Because you also remember Crosshair looking you up and down, before smirking and saying “Nice freckles.”
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
Text
Phone Call Anxiety
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: None
Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: When wanting to make quality merch, one needs a quality team there to produce and work on quality ideas. Great minds think alike. Great eyes see alike and great hands make alike - the three keys to the formula of creating a clothing line that will be fashionable and up to his brand. Luckily, Corpse knows just who to call.
Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your wonderful request, I absolutely loved the idea! Sorry you’ve had to wait for it to be turned into a fic for so long, but I still hope you come across it and give it a read in which case I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤
He’s not a fan of phone calls. Anyone who knows him even remotely is very well informed on Corpse’s distaste for phone calls and upholding a conversation over the phone. He’d even go as far as to say talking to a person face to face is less stressful for him than that previous option.
But still, seeing as how the person he’s trying to reach lives in a different state and is rather busy all the time, arranging an IRL meeting is basically impossible at the moment, and sending her a text results in running the risk of having the text overlooked or completely lost in the sea of notifications she probably gets on the daily.
Therefore, a phone call was his only proper way of reaching her. And it’s what’s got him pacing the room with his nervousness peaking.  He doesn’t know anything about this girl, nothing concrete at least. He was referred to her by Jack who brought her up in their passing conversation when Corpse mentioned how paranoid he was regarding his upcoming merch project. He specifically stated he doesn’t want anything basic and he wants the clothes to be fashionable, suitable for anyone no matter the age or gender and to be endurable. With all the love he has for his fans, he doesn’t want to give them anything less than what they deserve - the best.
“My friend’s the person you’re looking for.“ Jack said enthusiastically and confidently, “She helped me design the latest merch line I put out and I’ve never been more satisfied with my own merch. I’m planning on offering her a position in Cloak for her birthday. Make sure not to let that one slip out if you give her a call though.“ He warned half-jokingly. 
Bottom line, with that kind of intro, Corpse couldn’t help but let his interest be piqued. And so, he asked for this girl - Y/N’s contact info from Jack before he went to surf through her social media where she thankfully posted plenty of pictures of her creations, never failing to mention specifications in the caption of each picture so the viewers would get the perfect and most detailed idea of how high the standard for her work is.
And so he’s finally managed to talk himself into dialing her number that’s been sitting in his phone for weeks now. As he paces his living room, his nerves chewing him out like a dog would with a toy, listening to the ear piercing ring of the dial waiting to get picked up by the girl he’s trying to reach. 
Just then, Corpse’s head turns so that his eyes meet the glowing red numbers on his digital clock on his desk and he damn near hangs up the call right away - it’s half an hour past midnight. Fast as lightning, he removes the phone from his ear, his thumb flying over to press the red ‘end call’ button. Just then, a faint ‘hello’ reaches his ears, coming from the phone’s speaker. She’s answered the call.
He hurries to put the phone back up to his ear.
“Hey, sorry for taking so long to pick up, I ought to clean my desk eventually cause my phone was literally BURIED under a pile of papers.“ A cheerful sing-song voice rattles his stale and sleep deprived consciousness, as if awakening him from a half-dream state. “You’re either a wrong number caller or a last minute client, aren’t you? Need something done urgently?“
Corpse is taken the hell aback by her strong and downright awing first impression. Not to mention her energy at an hour unsuitable for calls. Lord knows he wouldn’t have picked up if her were in her spot. With the intention of not wasting any more of her time than necessary, he hurries to explain his situation. “Y/N, right? Um no, I’m neither actually. I was told about you by a friend, he said you were a real miracle-doer with fashion design.” He trails off for a second, not completely sure of how to hold this conversation, “Uh, sorry for the odd timed call, I lost track of time. I’ve been meaning to call you for hours now but I...I was nervous.” He cringes the second the word leaves his lips, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He doesn’t know why he wants to leave her with a great, better than realistic impression of himself but he does and as of now he deems his attempts as ultimate failures.
He hears her giggle from her end, rifling through what sounds to be papers, “Yeah, I’m her. And boy is it refreshing to get someone who’s calling with an actual purpose.” She sighs as if a weight’s been lifted off her shoulders, “And don’t worry about the phone call anxiety. Makes two of us, to be honest.”
This catches him off-guard. The last thing he’d expect is for this girl to have phone call anxiety. In fact, she appears to be a natural, God-given talent at carrying conversations and upholding chit-chat with people. Maybe he’s a little too quick to judge - probably, considering he’s ‘known’ her for less than five minutes and knows nothing but her occupation, her name and the state she lives in - but that bubbly persona she greeted him with gave off the impression that it’s immune to any and all kinds of social anxiety - or anxiety in general. To hear such an honest and counter-to-assumptions confession on her part rattles him a tiny bit. In a good way though.
“How does that work for you? Isn’t your whole job depending on your phone conversational skills?“ He doesn’t mind that he didn’t phrase that too perfectly or that he straight up blurted it out. He knows he’ll be understood. She’s obviously a person who understands. Not just something specific, but everything. She simply understands. How he drew this conclusion and how accurate it is, he may not know until further notice.
“Well...“ she sighs as if genuinely looking to give him a proper answer, “You see, after doing it for so long and having been caught off guard quite a few times with some absolutely absurd orders, I’ve grown prepared of literally ANYTHING and I have a line prepared for anything the caller has to say. I just no longer let them catch me off guard and it’s fine. Helps avoid any possible awkward silences.“
Corpse’s eyebrows shoot up, her explanation only raising more questions rather than providing answers. But he’s not gonna be the annoying dumbass asking those questions at close to 1AM and bugging her. After all, if she agrees to this partnership, they’ll be hearing and potentially seeing a lot more of each other soon. “Impressive, honestly. You’re gonna need to teach me sometime.“ He’s unaware he’s smiling until he catches his reflection in the window. However, he doesn’t bother hiding it. This conversation is actually making him feel good, serving as a reminder that he’s not the only one who periodically goes through turmoil over small things. 
She giggles again, this time the sound manages to draw a blush out of him, coating his cheeks, “I’d typically stray for revealing my secrets to professional success, but I’m willing to make an exception for you...” she pauses for a second as though she’s just now remembered something, “Oh shoot, I don’t even know your name.”
He wheezes out a nervous laugh, realizing he never introduced him, “Oh yeah, sorry, that’s my bad. My name’s Corpse, nice to meet ya.”
“Nice to meet you too, Corpse.“ Y/N replies, sounding pleased but teasing simultaneously, “Now tell me, you didn’t call me about my phone call secrets, did you? What may be the real purpose of your call?“
Oh shoot, he himself almost forgot what he was calling for. Luckily, the reference designs displayed on his computer screen remind him. “Right, well, I’ve been thinking of launching a new merch line either this month or the next, depending on how long the procedure will take, and I needed someone great on my team to make some merch actually worth the money people are paying for it. And, as I said, I was told you were in that ‘someone great’ category.”
“Told by who, if you don’t mind me asking?“ She briefly cuts him off, her voice now giving away the fact that she’s half-absent-minded in this conversation, added evidence be the ruffling of more papers on her end.
“Jack. I mean, Sean. You know, Jacksepticeye.“ Corpse explains, contemplating whether he should’ve ratted Jack out like that. Hearing the sound of delight Y/N lets out eases his worries ASAP though.
“Oh Gosh, I haven’t seen that cutie in so long! He’s like a brother to me so a friend of Jack’s is a friend of min-“ this time she cuts herself off so abruptly Corpse thought the line was cut or she hung up on him. She doesn’t let him wonder for long though, “Wait, wait, wait....Merch? And you’re friends with Jack?“ She pauses for a second once again, once again not a long enough second for Corpse to speak up. “You’re a famous YouTuber, aren’t you?“
He was completely unaware of the fact Y/N hadn’t realized he was someone famous yet. In fact, he didn’t think of it because he thought it wouldn’t be a big deal to her considering she’s friends with Jack-fucking-septiceye! In his mind, his ranking is far lower than Jack’s - despite that mindset being absurd - so the last thing he expected was for her to have some sort of impressed reaction to have been talking to him on the phone this whole time. Hell, she doesn’t even know his full YouTube name or what kind of content he produces.
“WAIT!“ She shouts urgently, startling him a tiny bit, “You’re Corpse Husband, aren’t you? Oh my God, yes you are, how didn’t I put it together sooner? Ah crap, I really need more coffee for this.“
“No! No, you need more sleep.“ Corpse hurries to correct her but is very clearly ignored or overlapped with the many sounds that are coming from her end, “What are you doing?“
“You’re getting the first rough sketch of a design by tomorrow morning.“ She says, taking a sip of whatever beverage she’s acquired for the purpose of keeping her awake, “You go ahead and get some sleep, I know exactly what I’m doing. Don’t worry about it.“
“I’m not worried about the design.“ He hurries to say before she, God forbid, hangs up on him, “It’s 1AM, woman, you need sleep! I don’t need those designs done by tomorrow. Hell, I don’t even need them this week!“
“You don’t, but I do.“ Y/N says, sounding almost breathless because of what seems to be overwhelming excitement, “You don’t get it - I’m designing merch for Corpse fucking Husband! You have any idea how crazy that is?“
“I personally would say it’s underwhelming. I mean, I’m no Pewdiepie, after all.“ He says, now sat at his desk with his free hand rubbing his temple as he stares at the designs he’s pulled up on his screen, ones he probably won’t need given that he’s now working with a professional.
“Oh, shut it.“ She chuckles, “Shut it and get some sleep, ok? I’ll talk to you in the morning.“
“Noooo...“ He leisurely stretches the word, “Tell me, Y/N, do you have Discord?” She clicks her tongue instantly, giving him a signal that the question he’s asked is bordering into the territory of ridiculous. He playfully rolls his eyes, “Alright then, lemme find you. If we’re partnering up on this, we’re both staying up.”
“You know you can just straight up tell me you don’t fully trust me with this? Like, I won’t be offended, I get it.“ She murmurs in-thought, the sound of clicking evident on her end. 
“You know you can just straight up tell me you don’t want me bothering you and want me to leave you alone?“ He mimics her statement, smirking to himself as he pulls up Discord, knowing he’s already won.
She huffs and tells him her Discord info, quickly adding a small comment, “...but only because great minds think alike. I know we’ll be getting along on this design pretty nicely.”
“Yeah, yeah, right, sure, whatever you say.“ He laughs, “Accept my friend request and let’s drop this phone call.“
“Hey! - um, before we do that, I just wanna say a quick thank you.“ Y/N murmurs quietly, as if half-hoping he doesn’t hear her.
“For what?“ Corpse asks, his brows furrowing, unsure if they’re on the same page about this gratitude.
“For never once triggering my phone call anxiety.“ She admits, “I mean, I know I said I have lines prepared for every conversation scenario possible, but you totally caught me off-guard.“ She giggles a tiny bit, now sounding dangerously close to nervous, “But, not in a bad way, if that makes sense. Sorry if it doesn’t, I need more coffee.“
“No, no, it does!“ He hurries to reassure her, “It really does. And thank you too. Thank you for, you know, tolerating my BS at this hour. God knows I would’ve ignored your call if our roles were reversed.“
He hears her scoff and can’t help but laugh, “Huh ok, I see.“ She says, sounding greatly triggered and mock-pissed at his confession, “I’ll make sure to think of that next time you call me after midnight. Or at all, ever.“
Laughing his butt off, the only thing Corpse can think of in this moment is:
Damn, this girl and I are gonna get along
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raineydays411 · 4 years
Text
The best of friends
Peter Parker x Stark!reader
Summary: The dreaded weekend has arrived. It goes as well as you expected, but you made some new friends.
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First of all, let it be known that you tried oh so desperately to get out of this situation.
You tried to feign an illness, Bruce deemed you okay. You said you were supposed to be training with Steve, Bucky said he was on a mission. Hell, you even tried to get into trouble and be grounded, but your dad saw right through it. 
“Y/n, why don’t you wanna go with Peter and his friends?” He asks, slightly irritated but mostly worried. 
“Because...” You don’t answer the question. Instead opting to look around the common room and avoid eye contact. 
“Because what? You love hanging out with Peter.” Then he mumbles,” Maybe a little too much” 
You were going to defend yourself, but then you realized you had one more trick up your sleeve. 
“It’s just...I realized that I haven’t really spent time with you.” You look at your dad with big eyes,” Ever since I met Pete, we’ve been hanging out almost every weekend, we rarely have any father-daughter time” 
Tony’s face softens,” Well, you’re not wrong..” 
Yes! He took the bait!
“Oh what the hell, Spiderling can just come over next weeke--”
“Tony!” Oh no..
“Hey Pep, I was just planning a daddy- daughter day with Y/n”
She looked at you apologetically, “I’m sorry sweetie, but your dad seems to have forgotten that we have a meeting to attend”
God damnit. 
“I didn’t forget. I just don’t want to go.” He pouts as Pepper drags him away. He turns to you, “ Kid, just go with Peter today, we can spend some time together tomorrow or something, OW Pep I’m coming!!” 
You sigh, looking at the time and realizing that you had two hours to get ready. You slowly walk to your room, freading every step you take. On your way there you bump into Wanda. Literally.
“Oh sorry Wanda” You mutter, it’s still a little awkward between you two. 
“It’s okay.” She smiles,” Are you alright, you seem like you have a lot on your mind.” Ironic.
You sigh, and tell her about your plans with Peter and how he invited Liz and his friends.
“So, you’ve finally realized your feelings for the Spider boy.”  
You choke hearing her words,” Wh-what?! Who said anything about feelings?”
She looks at you with a bored face,” You do know I can basically read your mind right? Besides, I don’t have read your mind to see you like each other. It pretty obvious all on it’s own.”
You look down, “ I don’t know, you should have seen his face when he saw Liz...” 
It was silent for a second, then Wanda’s face grew a look of determination, “ Okay, then we’ll make him realize how much he likes you.” 
With those words, she pulled you along into your room. 
“When did she get so strong?” You thought to yourself, surprised at how easily she was able to maneuver your body.
Once you were in your room, she made for your closet.
“Boys are stupid” She said, going through all your clothes, “ They don’t realize they want something until someone else wants the same thing.” 
“So..where exactly are you going with this?” You ask cautiously. Then she pulls out an oversized t shirt, biker shirts, and some sneakers. 
“Everytime you see Peter, you’re bare faced and in sweats. And while there's nothing wrong with that, I know that you want Peter to recognize you was a potential partner, yes?”
You nod,” Yes, but what does dressing up have to do with anything?” 
Wanda rolls her eyes,” Right now, he sees you as a friend. His buddy that he sees only on the weekend, away from his ‘normal’ life. You want to break that notion.”
You nod along, everything she says is making sense. Even if Peter is a little touchy with you, it seems to be very subconscious. You want him to look at you the way he looks at Liz. You want that silly smile he gives her to be aimed at you. 
Besides, it has been a while since you got the chance to dress up. 
You smile at Wanda, “ You know, you’re really fun to hang out with.”
She blushes at your words,” It's nice to have a girl to hang out with. Put on your clothes then call me, I’ll help you with your make up.” Then she walks out of your room, softly closing the door. You never realized it before, but Wanda really does keep to herself and Pietro. She’ll talk to Vision or Steve every once in a while, but it's pretty rare. Maybe you both weren’t so different after all...
You smile as you change, your talk with Wanda helped ease your anxiety for the moments. You decide to do your hair in your favorite hairstyle. Then you picked out some necklaces, the gold meshing perfectly on your brown skin. Then you called Wanda back in.
“Beautiful, Parkers not going to know what hit him” She says with a smile, “I know you don’t wear much makeup on a regular day, so how about this?” 
She pulls up a picture on pinterest. You smile, she really looked up ‘black girl makeup’ on pinterest for you. 
“I love it. I have some falsies I use for galas in my makeup bag.” 
So you and Wanda spend the next thirty minutes doing your makeup. It really was fun. The two of you laughed and giggled at each other, sang along to the music playing in the background, and talked about anything and everything. 
When you were finally done, you stared at yourself in the mirror. It was weird. Sure, you’ve been dressed up before, but that was usually when you went to fancy dinner parties with your dad. This was a whole other thing.
“You’re missing something.” Wanda says looking at you, “ But I’m not too sure what it is...” Then, Pietro peaks his head in the door.
“Um Wanda, where have you been? I’ve been looking for you all ove-” “Pietro! You can’t just walk into a girls room without knocking!” “You’ve been in here for almost two hours how was I supposed to Kn--” 
You chuckle at the two siblings bickering. It kind of reminded you if you and your dad. For a forty year old man, he really could act like a child.
“Since you’re here, we need a boys opinion” Wanda says cutting off whatever you were thinking about.
“What for?” He asks skeptically, finally realizing that there was another person in the room with them.
“She’s missing something, yes?” She says, pulling you over to them. Your face burns as you feel Pietro's gaze on you. Looking for whatever Wanda claims that was missing.
“That shiny sticky stuff you put on your lips.” He says,” oh and try these” a burst of wind hits your face and blows back Wanda's hair as Pietro runs and comes back with a pair of tiny sunglasses. 
“Here.” He places them on your head, “You know, you’re actually really pretty.” 
Wanda laughs,” If it doesn’t work out with Peter, you can always date Pietro”
“That's not what I meant!” He says with a blush, “ Are you finally going on a date with the Spider boy?” 
You sigh,” No, he invited his crush and his friends to our shopping trip” 
Pietro shakes his head,” You should make him jealous.” 
Wanda rolls her eyes and you look at him in confusion,” What do you mean?”
“Men want things they can’t have. If you make him jealous, he’ll definitely pay attention to you.” Then his eyes widen, “ Hey! I can dress up like a teenager and--” “NO” 
Wanda yells shutting down that idea,” Y/n, don’t listen to my idiot brother.” She hands you the lip gloss,”Now, just make sure to show him what he’s missing, act the way you do when you were with me.” 
“Ms. Stark? Mr. Parker is waiting for you in the lobby.”
Wanda and Pietro with you to the elevator
“Good luck Y/n, remember what I said.” Wanda said with a wink.
Pietro smiled as the doors closed, but you could have sworn he smirked at the last minute. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh well” You think,” Okay, just be yourself, be yourself” 
The elevator doors open to reveal MJ and Ned sitting on the lobby chairs. They stand up at the sound of the doors opening.
“Finally, Peter kept-- woah” Ned’s eyes widened at seeing you. “H-hi” 
“Hi Ned” You say with a soft smile, “ Wheres Peter?” 
“He’s outside waiting for Liz’s mom to drop her off” Mj said with a scoff, “ Really, you’d think she’d be on time..”
“Oh..okay” You say, already Peter was ignoring you for Liz and the day barely started. “Well, let’s meet him outside” 
The three of you started to make your way outside when a gust of wind blew from the back.
“Ah Printsessa! I’m glad I caught you before you left” 
oh no...
“You forgot your purse on the counter. I’m sure you need it or this shopping trip” He says with a smirk, holding the small bag with his finger.
Ned and Mj were in shock. Either because they were starstruck or because they weren’t expecting to talk to one of the Avengers. 
“Hey guys! Liz is here!” Peter says walking into the building. ‘Oh hey Y/n” 
“Hey Pete” You say, annoyed that he was just greeting you. Not even with a hug. 
“Well!” Pietro saud loudly,” Here is your bag” 
As you went to grab the bag, Pietro raised it out of your reach. 
“Come on printsessa, I know you’re faster than that” He said in a teasing tone.
“Pietro! We have to go” You said with a laugh, confused on why he was acting like this.
“Okay okay” He goes to hand the purse to you,” You really do look beautiful, as always.” He says with a smile. “побачимось пізніше принцесою“ 
Then he pecks you on the forehead, winks at the group, and is gone with another burst of wind. 
“What was that?” Peter asks,” I didn’t know you were so close with Pietro.”
“Well him and Wanda helped me pick my outfit” You said with a shrug, “I didn’t even know I was close to Pietro like that”
“Well, your outfit is super cute” Liz said with a smile. 
“Damn I can’t even hate her, she's so nice” you think to yourself. 
‘Thank you” you said weakly, “ I honestly didn’t know I had clothes like this” 
“Neither did I” mumbled Peter. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The five of you started the day by walking to some of the shops near the Tower. You,Mj, and ned ended up being left behind while Peter and Liz were in the front.
“Why did he invite us if he isn’t going to talk to us?” Mj mumbles to you and Ned.
“Aw come on Mj, Peter’s been trying to talk to Liz for like three years now.” Ned whispers back. 
“That doesn’t mean he has to ditch his friends” you say quietly, Mj agreeing with you.
“Exactly, this is Y/ns first time out with friends and he’s missing it for Liz.” 
“Why does everyone think I don’t have friends?” You say with a laugh,” I just don’t have any in the city.”
“Right” Mj says,” Either way, you don’t get out much.”
“That’s right! We should be having fun, not moping about Peter.” Ned adds, “Come on!” 
He pulls you and Mj into the store, dragging you through the aisles and making you both try on ridiculous stuff. It was really fun, you laughed as Ned draped a feather boa on an annoyed Mj. But then you noticed that Peter and Liz were standing way too close to each other. Peter ran a hand through his hair as Liz laughed at whatever he said. 
That cold feeling grew in your chest again. You watched as Peter awkwardly picked lint off of her hair as she smiled. 
“Hey! We should go to this carnival they’re having!” Ned yells, ruining their moment. 
“Way to go Ned” You think, satisfied at the outcome. 
“A carnival?” Peter asks, “ I don’t know Ned, it's pretty far from here..”
“Aw come one guys! It one sub stop away from here! “
“I’ve never been to a carnival before” You said, “It sounds fun”
“But Mr. Stark said not to go too far..”
“You know a carnival does sound fun” Liz says, then Peter softens and gets that stupid look on his face. 
“Okay fine” He says, “ We should get going.” 
“Of course he agrees with her” Mj mutters.
“No kidding” You whisper back.
The walk to the subway was awkward, you all waited quietly for the train to get there.
“So..I guess you’ve never been on a sub before huh?” Liz said, trying to make conversation.
‘The last time I was on one, my mother was leaving me with my dad.” You said blankly, watching the people around you scurry. You didn’t mean to be so rude. Really, it wasn’t her fault that Peter liked her, but you couldn’t help it. You just wanted to spend time with Peter alone. 
“Oh, I’m sorry I..I didn’t know” Liz said looking away. Peter looked in between you two, as if he didn’t know who to comfort. 
He chose Liz of course.
“Hey, it’s okay you didn’t mean to” He said rubbing her back. “ She knows that”
You and Mj simultaneously roll your eyes. She looks at you as if asking if you’re okay. You nod, appreciating the small gesture. 
The group gets on the subway. You see Peter go to sit down, one space free next to him. You see Liz talking to Ned about the carnival and Mj was already sitting somewhere else. So you took the chance to finally be alone with Peter. 
You sit down with a sigh, finally glad to be off your feet.
“Hey” You mutter to Peter, pulling out your lip gloss and mirror. 
“Hey! Gosh I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever” Peter says chuckling. He turns to look at you. “So, are you having fun? Are Ned and Mj being nice to you?”
“Yeah, they’re great.” You say, pouting in the mirror. From your peripheral, you can see Peter glance at your lips. You smile, and suddenly turn towards him. Your faces close together. 
“You look great..by the way..” He says lowly, “You look different..” 
“Well, I’m not in my pyjamas” You saw with a light laugh. Peter laughs along with you.
“That’s true, I never realized that we mainly hang out at the tower.” 
“Yeah, it’d be nice to hang out somewhere else” You say, hinting that you want to spend time alone with him. 
“Yeah..that would be nice” He whispers. He looks at you for a bit, examining your face. “Hey, umm, what was that with Pietro?” 
You look at him in surprise, “ What do you mean?”
He turns red, “ Well, it’s just that..it kind of looked like he was flirting with you.”
Wait..is he.. “Peter Parker, are you jealous?” you ask with a grin.
“What? N-no!” He stutters,”It’s just that he..he’s like old!” 
You laugh,” He’s twenty one, hardly that much older” 
“Yeah..but still” He says with a pout, “I don’t need anyone taking my best friend away.”
Your heart flutters, the thought of him not wanting to lose you made you grow hot. 
“Don’t worry web head, no one is going to take me away from you.” You say looking him in the eye. He smiles at you, taking your hand. 
“Good, and no one is--” “Hey Peter, we’re here!”
Liz. Of course.
Peter practically throws your hand back into your lap. 
“Oh awesome!” He says getting up from his spot and walking over to her.
Leaving you by yourself. Mj walks up to you.
“He’s an idiot.” She says knowingly, “Come on.” She grabs your hand, pulling you off the train and through the crowd. You let her, deflated at the fact that Peter put you second to Liz...again.
“Hey...I know you like Peter.” Mj says, “ But don’t let him get you down. You’re hot shit, if he can’t see that then fuck him.”
You look at her in shock, “I guess I have been pretty obvious huh?” 
“No kidding” Ned suddenly appears, “If looks could kill, Liz would be six feet under.” 
You sigh, “I’m sorry if I’m ruining your day, I just...I have no experience with this sort of thing.”
“But you’re a Stark...” Ned begins
“Yeah, but I’ve always been homeschooled, my first crush was on Steve and I was 7. This is different” You look at Peter, “ Peter was the first person my age I truly got to know. Not as Tony Stark's daughter, but as me.”
“Seeing him with Liz must be confusing. I’m sorry he’s so stupid” Mj says, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. 
“Let’s go have fun.” Ned says, “ You shouldn’t let this situation bring you down.” 
You smile, deciding Ned was right. The three of you walk up to the entrance. The air smells like fried foods and candy. Screams of children on rides and laughter of couples on dates fills your ears. The bright lights shine as the setting sun lowers in the background. You’re amazed, only ever seeing stuff like this in movies.
“Come on guys!” Liz shouts waving you, Mj and Ned over to a ride. The Himalaya. It was a ride that went in circles, each round faster and faster. But the thing that caught your attention was the rock music that played in the background. 
“Sounds like the lab” You shout over the music, “Dad is always blasting music when I go down there.”
“Oh that’s true!” Peter shouts back, “ He let me pick the music once”
“Yeah and you picked some poppy trash” You teased, “ You trying to give my old man a heart attack Parker?” 
“I told you it was an accident!” 
“Oh sure”
“Next!” The attendant shouted. You started to make your way to the carts. Mj pulling Liz and Ned to go sit with her, she turned to you with a wink.  
“Guess it’s you and me” Peter says looking back at Liz.
“Don’t sound so excited” You mutter, about to make your way to the next cart when the attendant stopped you
“Hey, do you wanna pick the next song?” He asks handing you a book full of songs.
“Sure, umm number 79″ You say with a smile, the attendant looks at you with a grin
“You have taste, I’m impressed” 
“I get it from my dad” You   say, about to walk away when he stops you again 
“Your sunglasses might fall off, I’ll hold them for you” He says, taking them off your head.
You blush at his sudden closeness when you hear Peter shout
“ You coming Stark?” “Yeah I’m coming” 
You smile at the boy and run off to join your friend.
“Sorry, he let me pick the song” You say, settling into the seat next to Peter. 
“He was a little close don’t you think?” He says fiddling with the bar that serves as the seatbelt. 
“I don’t know, I guess”
The ride started slowly going forward. The first notes of “You shook me all night long” starting to play. You along with several older adults started cheering. As the ride started moving faster, you started laughing and loudly singing along. The fluttering feeling coming back as Peter watched you sing. With that smile you know is reserved only for you. A smile you’ve seen time and time again, when you’re falling asleep during movie nights, or when you win at a board game.
At that moment, as you watch the world blur around you, it was just you and Peter. Yelling AC/DC lyrics in his face while he looked at you in amusement. This was how it was meant to be. 
Then the song ends. And so does the ride. 
Once it stops, Peter hops out and goes to help Liz out of her seat.
You sigh, making your way up to the attendant to get your glasses. 
“Hey, thanks for holding them” You say taking your glasses, you smile at him and walk away. You catch up to the rest of your friends placing the glasses on your head.
“Y/n you have something on your glasses.” Ned points out. You reached out and felt  piece of paper on your glasses. You take it off, you see the attendant has written his number on a piece of paper and attached it to your glasses
“ Ohhh look at you” Ned says, “looks like the playboy has passed from your dad to you”
Everyone laughs, except Peter for some reason. You look at him in concern, but before you can say anything Liz pulls him away to ring toss booth.
“ Come on guys, I want one of those fried Oreos,”
So again you were separated from Peter. It seems like every time you had a chance to get close to him somebody was always butting in.
You sigh, “maybe it wasn’t meant to be, I mean if he wanted to..he would right??”
Lost in thought you watch as Ned and Mj argue over something about Shakespeare. You tune out as you continue to think about Peter in the situation you’re in. That’s when you heard your name being yelled
“ Hey Stark!!”
You turn around and to your surprise, you see a familiar face. 
“Am I dreaming or is that you Jason Todd??”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/n: fun fact there’s actually a ride called the Himalaya in an amusement park in my town. It basically does the same thing I described in the story it’s my favorite ride.
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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years
Text
Unbreakable
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Jiang Cheng is going through his correspondence when suddenly his second in command barges in.
“Jiang-zongzhu, it’s—Nie-zongzhu is here,” he stammers and Jiang Cheng frowns at him.
Sure, after what happened, everyone should be wary of Nie Huaisang, but it certainly doesn’t require this amount of fear.
“Did Huaisang say what he wants? He didn’t send a letter,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, getting up because surely letting Nie Huaisang wait, despite his lack of an announcement of his impending arrival is not the right answer.
“Not—not Nie Huaisang, Jiang-zongzhu. It’s—Nie Mingjue is waiting for you,” his second stammers and okay, that finally gets Jiang Cheng’s undivided attention.
“What the hell,” he breathes out, reaching out for Sandu. “Is he attacking anyone? How the hell did he get out of the coffin?”
“Truth be told, Jiang-zongzhu, he doesn’t appear to be dead? There are no traces of resentful energy on him at all, and he seems very much alive.”
“Impossible,” Jiang Cheng breathes, because Nie Mingjue is dead.
He rushes up to the main entrance, his second following closely behind but Jiang Cheng comes to a stop as soon as he sees Nie Mingjue.
Nie Mingjue grins sheepishly at him as Jiang Cheng stalks up to him, his grip on Sandu tight. He’s not going to take any chances with this.
“Hello,” Nie Mingjue says with a slight bow.
“You’re dead,” is what Jiang Cheng greets him with, because he doesn’t have time for these stupid niceties, not if Nie Mingjue could possibly be a threat to him and his Sect.
“It appears that I am no longer dead,” Nie Mingjue replies with a slight shrug and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.
“That’s impossible.”
“Well, then I should fit right into your Sect, shouldn’t I?” Nie Mingjue doesn’t seem to be joking and Jiang Cheng tilts his head in question.
“You have your own Sect.”
“A Sect that Huaisang is leading very well. I’ve—gone there first, of course, but—” he trails off with a shrug. “Huaisang has things handled and I never got to figure out what I want to do besides being a Sect Leader.”
Jiang Cheng supposes that makes sense, but it still doesn’t explain what Nie Mingjue is doing here, though.
“Why come here?” he demands to know and Nie Mingjue looks away.
“I can’t go to Lanling. I know that your nephew is Sect Leader now, but I can’t—” his voice breaks and Jiang Cheng feels bad about even asking.
Of course he can’t go there; it’s where he died, where his murderer kept his head of all things as a personal amusement.
But still—
“Why not Gusu then? Lan Xichen is in seclusion, but I would guess that he would be over himself to see you again.”
Nie Mingjue flinches at the mention of Lan Xichen’s name and Jiang Cheng feels bad about that, too now.
“I don’t—I can’t see him,” Nie Mingjue admits. “He didn’t listen to me, didn’t trust me when I told him what Jin Guangyao had done and I can’t—no.”
“Alright,” Jiang Cheng agrees easily, not wanting to upset Nie Mingjue any further, because he still isn’t sure what he’s dealing with right now.
Nie Mingjue seems alive enough, but one can never be too careful with this kind of thing.
“It still doesn’t explain why you came here, though.”
“While I was dead—or undead—I had a lot of time to think,” Nie Mingjue lowly says. “And I realized that I failed you, especially.”
Jiang Cheng is torn between agreeing with that and denying it immediately, but before he can say anything, Nie Mingjue goes on.
“I know what it’s like to be thrusted into positions as Sect Leader too young and too violently and yet I didn’t reach out to offer you help. And I realize that making amends now is far too late, because your Sect is one of the greatest I have ever seen, but I thought, it can’t help to try.”
Jiang Cheng squints at him.
“Are you a ghost? Are you unable to move on because you feel like you have unfinished business here?”
“I am not a ghost,” Nie Mingjue easily replies and offers up his hand for Jiang Cheng to inspect.
Jiang Cheng does take it, because he has to make sure that there’s no danger from Nie Mingjue, and when he checks him over with his qi, it seems like Nie Mingjue is speaking the truth.
He’s alive and well.
“The problems with your qi-deviations?”
“It seems death solved that for me.”
Jiang Cheng takes a few moments to scrutinize Nie Mingjue, who graciously allows it to happen.
“There’s nothing you have to make up for, and—like you said—I don’t need your help anymore,” Jiang Cheng finally tells him and Nie Mingjue grins sheepishly.
“Doesn’t change the fact that I want to get to know you better,” he says with a shrug and now, that, finally takes Jiang Cheng aback.
“There’s nothing to know,” he hisses, because he doesn’t need whatever this is. Pity or something else, it doesn’t matter.
Jiang Cheng did well enough on his own for years.
“I think there’s a great deal to know,” Nie Mingjue gives back immediately and then simply holds Jiang Cheng’s gaze.
It’s Jiang Cheng who breaks first.
“You truly are unbreakable, huh?” he mutters. “Your will, your spirit, even death couldn’t keep a grip on you.”
“I know it’s unfair, and that there are other people you’d rather see come back but it’s not like I had a choice in this,” Nie Mingjue lowly says and Jiang Cheng winces.
He didn’t mean it like that, and he doesn’t actually hold it against Nie Mingjue that some miracle brought him back to live.
Most people Jiang Cheng knows deserve a second chance, and seeing as Wei Wuxian already got one, it’s not that absurd to figure Nie Mingjue got one, too.
“If you want to stay here, you’ll have to work,” Jiang Cheng declares after a moment, and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “You will not be a freeloader in my Sect.”
It looks like Nie Mingjue wants to laugh at him, but he manages to hold it in.
“Alright.”
“You get one week to familiarize yourself with my Sect and how it works. After that you will either choose a work, or I’ll assign you one.”
“Works for me,” Nie Mingjue gives back but when Jiang Cheng is about to turn away to show him to his quarters, Nie Mingjue reaches out to stop him.
“I wasn’t lying about the fact that I want to get to know you. I know it’s audacious of me to make demands of you—especially since I am no longer a Sect Leader—but I’d like to take at least one meal with you. Or maybe just afternoon tea.”
“Cute of you to think that I have time for afternoon tea,” Jiang Cheng shoots back but then he sighs. “Fine. Lunch, then. I tend to forget about that and then my second yells at me, and like this everyone is happy, right?”
“Sounds good,” Nie Mingjue agrees and then finally Jiang Cheng can do something again.
Even if it’s just showing Nie Mingjue where he will sleep for the foreseeable future.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng offered Nie Mingjue a week to get to know his Sect, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t seem to need that much time.
“I’d like to work with the kids, if you are open to that,” Nie Mingjue says on his third day over lunch and Jiang Cheng almost chokes on his food.
“Kids?” he says, once he stopped coughing and Nie Mingjue seems defensive.
“I like kids,” he mutters, clearly embarrassed, but shouldering on regardless. “It was just never��with my family history it didn’t seem wise to have any,” is what he finally says and Jiang Cheng guesses he can understand that.
If his line was destined for a violent and early death, he wouldn’t have kids, either. Not that he has any regardless of that.
“The class with the babies needs some help,” Jiang Cheng says, instead of voicing his other thoughts and he wonders what he did wrong when Nie Mingjue frowns at him.
“You’re teaching babies?”
“What? No, of course not!” Jiang Cheng immediately gives back and then he laughs, embarrassed that he said it like that. “It’s just what I call the youngest ones. They are barely six, but want to start training early. Usually those are the ones with the most potential, but at that age—” he shrugs. “They are all babies.”
“I see,” Nie Mingjue says and smiles softly at him.
Jiang Cheng did not need to know that he has dimples, and he certainly doesn’t need them directed at himself.
“But if you give them any silly ideas, I’ll assign you to the kitchens instead!” he huffs out, trying to hide behind his tea, but he thinks he’s probably not that successful when Nie Mingjue laughs.
“I’ll try my best. Huaisang was the one with the silly ideas, anyway, so they should be safe.”
“We’ll see about that,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, but then he gets distracted when Nie Mingjue asks some more questions about the harvest season that is almost upon them and lunch flies by like that.
Jiang Cheng finds himself thinking that he could get used to this.
~*~*~
Nie Mingjue is good with the kids. Jiang Cheng was worried that they will be scared of him, or that he’ll be too rough and strict with them, but the kids clearly love him and Jiang Cheng would never admit it, but he spends at least ten minutes every morning just watching Nie Mingjue interacting with them.
It’s adorable how they think they can climb him and it’s impressive how he makes it into an exercise for them.
“You’ve been watching me with the kids,” Nie Mingjue says one day over lunch and Jiang Cheng tries his best to fight his blush.
“I’m checking in on the work you do,” he shoots back and it makes Nie Mingjue laugh.
“Sure,” he easily agrees, but Jiang Cheng knows that Nie Mingjue doesn’t believe him one second.
“You’re good with them,” Jiang Cheng finally amends and Nie Mingjue shrugs.
“I like them. I like working with them. They are so excited about everything.”
Jiang Cheng has seen that, too—Nie Mingjue indulges the kids more often than not. And Jiang Cheng is in no position to scold him over that, because he used to do that as well.
“Good,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, and very decidedly does not think about Nie Mingjue with the kids anymore.
It’s getting hard, to see him interact with the little ones, and Jiang Cheng has caught himself more than once already, thinking it to be the most adorable thing he has ever seen and he raised Jin Ling.
Nie Mingjue smirks at his harsh tone, and they don’t speak again for the rest of the meal.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng isn’t quite sure when having lunch together turned into taking all three meals together and he’s also not quite sure since when he talks about Sect politics with Nie Mingjue. But he can’t stop it, because it’s so nice to finally have someone who he can just vent to and Nie Mingjue does have pretty insightful ideas most of the times.
Still, Jiang Cheng shouldn’t be doing this.
Nie Mingjue will get tired of him and Lotus Pier eventually, and then he’ll move on. Most likely back to Qinghe Nie before he’ll make up with Lan Xichen and then Jiang Cheng won’t see him again.
It’s how things in Jiang Cheng’s life work, after all, and it wouldn’t do at all to get too used to Nie Mingjue’s presence.
“What are you thinking about?” Nie Mingjue suddenly asks him and Jiang Cheng almost chokes on his tea. “You have your serious face on.”
Jiang Cheng refuses to acknowledge that it’s been ages since someone could distinguish his serious face from his normal face and instead simply shrugs.
“Nothing. Work,” he amends when Nie Mingjue raises an eyebrow at him.
“You want to know what I think you’ve been thinking about?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng resolutely shakes his head.
“No.”
“I think,” Nie Mingjue still says and even Jiang Cheng’s glare doesn’t deter him, “that you’ve been thinking about me.”
Jiang Cheng immediately flushes and he knows it’s futile, but he still snaps “Don’t be so self-centred,” at Nie Mingjue.
“But am I wrong?” Nie Mingjue wants to know and Jiang Cheng jumps to his feet.
“I have work to do,” he hisses, but just when he’s about to storm away, Nie Mingjue catches his hand in his.
“Wanyin, when will you finally let me court you?” Nie Mingjue asks and with that question he takes all the wind out of Jiang Cheng’s sails.
Deep down he had known that this was coming; Jiang Cheng might be dense and he might be blacklisted from every matchmaker ever, but he’s not that stupid and Nie Mingjue has not been that subtle.
“You’re going to go back to your Sect eventually,” Jiang Cheng says, staying turned away from Nie Mingjue. “Or to Lan Xichen, or to simply wander. It’s not like—this is not permanent.”
“Because you don’t let me make it permanent,” Nie Mingjue tells him. “I can visit Huaisang whenever I want and I still don’t want to see Xichen and we can wander together.”
It sounds nice; nice enough that Jiang Cheng turns back around to him.
“If I say yes, are you going to vanish into thin air, because you are in fact a ghost and this will fulfil whatever unfinished thing you still had going?” he asks, feeling only slightly ridiculous about it.
“I am not a ghost, Wanyin. I’m real, and I got a second chance at life, and I want to spend that chance with you. I’m not going to vanish just because you say yes.”
“Who says I’m going to say yes?” Jiang Cheng grumbles, but he can’t help but to tangle their fingers together.
“Aren’t you?” Nie Mingjue asks with a smile and tugs on his hand so that Jiang Cheng sits back down again.
“Even if I do, it’s only to courting,” Jiang Cheng reminds him when Nie Mingjue leans in. “And to nothing else.”
“Not even one celebratory kiss that we are finally starting our courtship stage?” Nie Mingjue teases him, still so close to Jiang Cheng.
“No,” Jiang Cheng decides, but then he leans forward and brushes his lips over the dimple on Nie Mingjue’s cheek. “There.”
“That hardly counts,” Nie Mingjue grumbles, but he doesn’t take what Jiang Cheng isn’t yet ready to give and Jiang Cheng smiles at him for it.
“Sweep me off my feet with your courtship and we’ll see about a real one,” Jiang Cheng says, despite how it makes his face burn, but it’s worth it when Nie Mingjue beams at him.
“Deal.”
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103 notes · View notes
drabbles-mc · 3 years
Text
As Soon As I Can
Nestor Oceteva x F!Reader
Request from @alienstardust​:  Umm All the angst in those childhood prompts. I’m a fan! Yes! <3 Maybe something with Nestor? 💫 thank you
I went with this prompt from This Post: When Person A and Person B were kids, Person A broke their arm and had to wear a cast for a while. To make them feel better, Person B decorated it by drawing a bunch of doodles and quotes all over it. When Person A finally got the cast off, they asked the doctor if they could keep it. Years later, Person A takes the cast to a tattoo artist and gets all of Person B’s doodles and quotes tattooed onto their arm so they can wear them forever.
Warnings: language, angst, hospitals
Word Count: 3.8k
A/N: I looooooved writing this. Writing has been tough for me lately but this just felt really right. This is my first fic where I’ve done a lot of time skips within the story so hopefully it flows alright. Hope you guys enjoy! xo
General Mayans Taglist: @garbinge​ @mayans-sauce​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @paintballkid711​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @queenbeered​ @sillygoose6969​ @sesamepancakes​ @yourwonkywriter​ @chibsytelford​ @gemini0410​ @multiyfandomgirl40​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @plentyoffandoms​ @georgiaaintnopeach​ @twistnet​ @themoonandthewicked​ @bucky-iss-bae​ @encounterthepast​ @everyhowlmarksthedead​ @rosieposie0624​ @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo​ @mijop​ @xladymacbethx​ @blessedboo​ @holl2712​ @lakamaa12​ @masterlistforimagines​ @kkim120​ @toni9​ @shadow-of-wonder​ @crowfootwrites​ @redpoodlern​ @punkgoddess-98​ @black-repunzel99​​ @lexondeck​​​
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You and Nestor were sitting in your back yard, sprawled out together under the one tree that managed to survive so many years in the California heat. You were laying on your back, cast-bound arm lying rigidly out to the side. You were staring up through the leaves as you listened to Nestor talk.
“At least they let you pick the color,” he was next to you, laying on his stomach as he dug through his backpack.
You laugh was heavy with sarcasm, “Yea, if I’m not gonna be able to move my arm for the next eight weeks it’s the least they could fucking do.”
“You sound bitter.”
You looked over at him, “I am bitter.”
He chuckled and shook his head, he was about to come back with a witty remark when he got distracted by finding whatever he had been looking for. He smiled as he pulled it out, “Aha!” he held up his pack of Sharpies.
“What’re those for?” you nodded towards the markers.
“For your cast.”
“You’re gonna decorate my cast?” you had to laugh.
“Yea,” he was carefully choosing a few different markers to start with, “Maybe it’ll make you feel better about totally eating it falling off your skateboard the other day.”
You laughed as you reached over and shoved him with your good arm, “Shut up—like you haven’t fallen a million times.”
“No casts for me, though,” there was a cocky smirk on his face.
“No casts for me, though,” you mocked as you tried not to laugh.
You watched him in semi-silence as he started at your wrist and slowly but surely made his way up your cast, covering it with all sorts of doodles and quotes. Sometimes you forgot how artistic he could be. You went back and forth between watching him and just resting your head back and closing your eyes. Neither of you kept track of the time as he stayed sprawled on his stomach beside you. the two of you probably would’ve stayed out until dark if your mom hadn’t stuck her head out and said that Nestor’s brother was there to pick him up and bring him home. Nestor threw all of his things back into his bag before helping you up.
Once he was gone, you took some time to actually look at the cast. You smiled at the amount of work he put into something that you were only going to have for a couple months. Your fingers traced lightly over the many marker lines that now covered your cast. Your mother looked over your shoulder at the artwork, a smile passing over her lips for a moment.
“Did Nestor do that?”
You nodded, not taking your eyes off of your arm, “Yea.”
She nodded, “That was sweet of him.”
You scoffed trying to suppress the smile on your face, “I guess.”
The next eight weeks passed by. And, despite the fact that having your arm in a cast was incredibly inconvenient, it could have been a lot worse. Nestor walked with you to all of your classes, offering to carry your backpack despite the fact that you told him that your busted arm had nothing to do with your ability to carry a bag. Whenever the two of you were together and things were quiet, he would keep adding onto the tiny mural that was your cast. Sometimes you wondered how much more he could fit on it, but he always found a way. For as much as you wanted it off, you were going to miss the bonding time for the two of you. And you were going to miss the artwork, too.
“So,” the doctor smiled and nodded at you, “you are all good to go. We can get the cast off and you’ll be as good as new.”
“Yea?” the thought of having your arm back made you feel giddy.
“Absolutely.”
You felt like a new person once your arm was free of the confines of the cast. Letting out a sigh of relief, you rotated your wrist a few times and carefully ran your fingers over the freshly-exposed skin, glad to feel like you were back in control of your own body.
“I can get rid of this,” your doctor held up the cast he’d just finished so carefully removing, “Unless you want to keep it as a momento.”
“Um, actually,” you felt your face heating up as you avoided eye contact with your mother, “Could I keep it?”
The doctor nodded, smiling as he handed it over to you, “It’s quite the work of art at this point—I understand wanting to hold onto it.”
On the drive home, you felt your mother glancing over at you every couple of minutes, a knowing smile on her face. You tried to ignore it but eventually you broke.
“What?” you were careful of your tone.
She laughed quietly and shook her head, “Nothing. Just, I think it’s nice that you’re keeping it, that’s all.”
“Mhm,” you tried to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks again, but that only made it worse.
You never told Nestor that you kept the cast. You never really knew exactly why you didn’t tell him—the two of you told each other pretty much everything else. The two of you spent almost all of your free time together, and as soon as he found out that your cast had been removed he was dragging you right back out to do things that could potentially break your arm all over again, and you let him. He never asked about the cast, so you never brought it up. There were moments, as the two of you got a little older, where you wanted to mention it to him in passing that it was something that you kept, but the moment never seemed quite right. Each time you went to clean out your room and your closet you would come across it, and each time you were faced with the decision of whether or not you wanted to keep it, and you always did. You always told yourself that you didn’t know why, but you knew.
--
“Alright,” you were trying not to let yourself get too emotional as you sat cross-legged on his bed watching him pack “You can’t do anything stupid while I’m not around to yell at you for it, alright?”
He chuckled as he shoved another shirt into his bag, “Trust me, there will be plenty of other people around to yell at me. That’s the whole point of—”
“But they can’t do it as well as I can.”
He glanced over at you, a small smile on his face. He knew how upset you were despite the fact that you were still being supportive. Him going into the Navy was something that you hadn’t seen coming. The thought of him being gone for so long after the two of you had spent so much of your lives practically joined at the hip was a bit jarring. You knew the ache in your chest was caused by more feelings than you were ready to admit to him, or to yourself.
“It’s not like you’ll never hear from me.”
You huffed, “Snail mail is not the same as bothering you in person,” you flopped backwards on the bed, “And for the record I still think it’s bullshit that you don’t get to call me.”
He laughed as he stood up and sat on the bed, looking down at you, “Don’t be dramatic. I’ll be in basic for less time than you had that stupid cast on your arm.”
“Yea but it’s not like you’re coming right home after that.”
He nodded, his expression sobering a little as he continued to look at you, “I know.”
“You’ll come home to visit me as soon as you can?”
He chuckled, nodding, “As soon as I can.”
For a moment you thought about spilling your guts—telling him everything that you were thinking and feeling. There was something about the way that he was looking at you that made you feel like maybe he felt the same way. But the confidence that shot through you went away as quickly as it appeared, and the moment passed as he continued to pack his things.
True to his word, you got letters in the mail. You saved each one, kept them stashed away in your closet alongside the cast that was still there collecting dust even after years of being shuffled around. You sent more letters than you received, not that you really minded. You figured that he needed them more than you did.
However as the months ticked by, you waited for him to say he was coming home, but he never did. It was one thing right into the next and the more time that passed by, the more you wondered if this was how he slipped away from you, even though he swore that that wouldn’t happen. He reached out when he could, when he had the time. And you knew that he had other priorities, and realistically you did too. But there was still part of you that felt like things were changing too much.
Your heart sped up inside your chest when you got a late-night phone call from him. You scrambled to answer it, “Hello?”
“Hey,” he sounded exhausted.
“Hey,” you pulled your blanket up to your chin as you spoke to him, “H-how are you?”
“I’m alright,” he sighed, “It’s good to hear your voice.”
You smiled despite the weight settling in your chest, “It’s good to hear yours too. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
You didn’t want to push and pry, but you couldn’t help asking, “When are you coming home?”
There was a long pause before he spoke up again, “I, uh, I don’t really know.”
“Don’t they give you guys leave or something?”
He let out a tired chuckle, “Yea. But, um, I’m not sure if I’m going to be coming home for leave anytime soon.”
Your heart crumped inside your chest, “Why not?”
“Got some shit that I’m working on lining up here. Doesn’t hurt to stay close.”
You hated that your bottom lip was beginning to tremble, “Right.”
He knew you too well and you could hear the shift in his tone, “I’m sorry.”
“No, no,” you replied immediately, “Fuck, don’t be sorry. I’m proud of you, really. Keep…keep doing your thing.”
“Thank you for always being there. It’s been…it’s been nice knowing someone is in my corner when no one else seems to be,” there was a beat of silence, “You seen my family lately?”
You took a deep breath, “No. Why, everything alright?”
He sighed, “Wouldn’t know.”
You pressed your lips together into a tight line—things had never been simple for him when it came to family, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’ll be home to see you as soon as I can be, alright?”
Your breath was shaky as you exhaled, “Alright,” you were about to say goodbye but your brain betrayed you, “Hey, Nestor?”
“Yea?”
“I love you,” the words fell from your lips, free of their confines after so many years of locking them away.
It might’ve been you projecting, but you could’ve sworn that he let out a sigh of relief, “I love you too.”
--
That was the last thing that you’d heard from him. He went radio silent after that. You wondered if it was just you that he was ignoring, but no one seemed to have heard anything from him—his own family included. The only things that were running through your mind were terrible. All of your calls went unanswered, all of your texts went unopened. The letters that you sent didn’t get kicked back to you but you never got responses to any of them either. He had blipped off the radar seemingly without a trace and you had no idea why. You lost a lot of sleep over it but at the same time, life didn’t stop for anyone. You had to keep moving forward while a very large part of you was stuck in the past.
You were packing up your room, getting ready to move into your own apartment. You were throwing things from your closet into random bags and boxes—organization had never been your strong suit. As you were leafing through everything, pulling things down off the top shelf of your closet, you were smacked in the face with a stack of papers. You managed to catch them before they hit the ground, tears instantly springing into your eyes when you realized what they were. Your heart sped up inside your chest as you stood on your tip-toes, reaching for the very back of the shelf. The feeling of the plaster underneath your fingers sent a shock through your body as you pulled it towards you. Looking over it, you were bombarded with an onslaught of memories.
Packing fell by the wayside as you sat on your bed, reading through the letters and looking over all the artwork that was still holding up on the cast. How you managed to keep your tears from falling, you didn’t know.
There was a light knock on your door and you looked up, trying to make yourself look much less upset than you were. The smile immediately dropped from your mother’s face when she saw what you were doing, how it was upsetting you. She leaned against the doorframe as she tried to figure out what to say to you to try and make things better.
“I’m sorry, honey,” her tone was sincere.
You shook your head as you set your cast to the side, “Don’t be. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
You hadn’t really spoken much to her about it all—there wasn’t a whole lot to say. You didn’t have any answers and with each day that went by it was less likely that you would ever get them. It was difficult to tell whether or not it was more reassuring for you that no one had heard from him, not just you.
“There’s nothing to talk about. He just fucking disappeared, I guess. I just need to accept it and get on with my life.”
“He was your best friend—you’re allowed to be upset about it, you know.”
Even though you knew it, it was nice to hear her say it to you. Wiping the tears from your eyes before they could stain your cheeks, you nodded, “I know.”
She lightly drummed her fingers on the door frame, “You keeping those?”
There was a long pause before you finally nodded, “I think so.”
She nodded, “I’ll go grab you another box.”
--
“This thing looks like it’s been through the wringer,” your tattoo artist chuckled as she looked over the cast you’d brought with you.
You managed a smile, “Because it has. I’ve had that thing since I was in, fucking, like eighth grade I think? Long time.”
“What made you decide to get this done now?”
You shrugged, “I don’t know. Figured it’ll be better than moving it from one closet to the next over the course of my life.”
You could tell by the look on her face, that she wanted to ask for the story behind it all. But the fact that you didn’t offer it up, made her not pry. You’d always been open so if you were keeping something to yourself, she respected that. The two of you talked about the logistics of it, and the changes you want to make to clean it up a little bit. You were excited to come back and get it done, though.
Despite the wait, your excitement and nervousness about coming back didn’t fade. You didn’t regret the decision, but it was still nerve-wracking as you got ready to sit down in the chair. She had you look over the pattern she’d drawn up, and when you gave her the okay she laid the stencil out on your arm and got to work. You watched her as she brought it all to life—it was a little cleaner and more grown-up than the original scribbles and doodles, but it felt right. Tears stung at the edges of your eyes but it wasn’t because of the physical pain of getting the tattoo.
She was wrapping it up in saranwrap as she gave you the run-down of taking care of the tattoo. You’d heard the spiel before but you still listened anyway. You had a hard time taking your eyes off of the artwork as you made your way back out to your car. Sitting down in the driver’s seat, you let out a sigh as you tried to inspect the ink as best you could through the wrap around your arm.
The next day, you were putting on a fresh wrap over your tattoo after your shower when you heard your phone buzzing in the next room. With a heavy sigh, you slapped a piece of tape onto the wrap and scrambled to get to your phone before you missed the call. Looking down at the screen, you didn’t recognize the number. But it was an off-hour for a scammer to be calling so you answered it on a whim. Worst case scenario you would just hang up.
“Hello?”
“Hi, my name is Rita and I work at Imperial Hospital. I’m looking for Ms. Y/N?”
“Um, speaking?” you had no idea where this was going.
“Good morning. Someone was admitted and you are their only emergency contact—no next of kin listed. Do you know a Mr. Nestor Oceteva?”
Your heart dropped into your stomach, “Yes,” you couldn’t get the words out fast enough, “Yes I do. Is he alright?”
“He’s going to be fine,” her tone was calm enough to give you the smallest sliver of reassurance, “But we do need you to come in and answer some questions for us. He’s been in and out of it and we need someone who can give us reliable information.”
“O-okay. Yea. Yea I’ll leave right now. It’ll be about an hour or so before I get there though. Is that alright? He’s going to be okay?”
“Yes, ma’am. He’s going to be fine. Thank you so much for your cooperation.”
You hung up the phone and started flying around your apartment to get ready. You had no idea what you were about to be walking into but at this point you didn’t care. All these years you’ve been wondering about him and he was two towns over. You were as angry as you were relieved.
The line of questions that the nurses asked you seemed endless. You knew that it was all important but there was nothing that you wanted more than to be in the room and see that it really was him, that this wasn’t just some cruel trick from the universe.
Finally, the nurse started walking you back. You only heard half of what she was saying to you about his condition as the two of you approached the room. You heard that he was stable and the rest didn’t really matter to you. your hands were trembling as she gestured to the door to his room, telling you that she would give you a few minutes to yourselves.
You slowly opened the door and a sob lodged itself in your throat as you looked at him. He was passed out, whether the sleep was genuine or from the meds you didn’t know. Truthfully, it was almost difficult to see that it was the Nestor you knew and loved—but you could still see it. Underneath the cuts and scrapes, beneath the braids and the tattoos, there was still your Nestor. The man you knew all those years ago was somewhere underneath it all.
Walking over, you collapsed in the chair next to his bed. You reached out and took his hand in your own, seeing the scars and scabs that covered his knuckles. Whatever he’d been doing all those years, it wasn’t treating him well. You let out a shaky breath as the tears started to fall. You tried to keep your emotions bottled up and quiet, but you couldn’t. There were too many there that you had been battling with and pushing down over the years.
Your crying made him stir. With a quiet groan of pain he opened his eyes and turned to look and see who was in the room with him. His entire body went stiff as his eyes flew completely open, unable to believe that you were sitting there with him.
“H-holy shit,” he coughed, trying to sit up, “Y/N?”
He was conscious and able to speak, so you punched him in the upper arm, “As soon as I can my ass, Nestor.”
He winced and smiled, and you could see all of the motions in his eyes, “I’m…I’m sorry.”
“You fucking should be.”
“I am.”
“Good.”
There were a few beats of silence and then he heard the crinkling of the wrap on your arm as you crossed them and he nodded towards it, “Fresh?”
Heat instantly flooded to your face and you fought the urge to get up and run out of the room, “Got it yesterday.”
“Can I see?”
You hated that he was talking to you like everything was normal, but you couldn’t lie and said that you didn’t miss it. Taking a deep breath, you laid your arm down on the hospital bed for him to inspect. A smile instantly took over his features when he saw what it was. He looked up at you, and when he saw the happiness and hurt both in your expression, his smile dulled a little bit.
“I’m so sorry.”
“What the fuck, Nestor?”
“I know, I know. I should’ve said something.”
“Uh…yea.”
“When they let me out of here, will you let me take you somewhere and tell you all about it?”
“I mean. I guess. But only because I’m nosey,” you managed a smile through the tears.
“I love you.”
The words made your heart skip a beat in your chest, “I love you too.”
“That’s way less clunky than a cast,” he tapped the plastic wrap.
You smiled, wiping the tears away, “Yea, I guess so.”
“I can’t believe you still have the same number after all these years.”
You paused, looking down at your hands, “I kept it in case your ass decided to smarten up and call me one of these days.”
“Hospital calling you on my behalf doesn’t count?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, “No. No it doesn’t.”
He reached over and clasped your hand in his, “I’m really glad that you’re here.”
With a deep sigh, you leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his forehead, careful to miss all the scrapes, “Me too.”
There was so much more to be said, but it could wait. You tried to soak up the feeling of his hand over yours, smiles appearing on both of your faces despite the lost time and the gravity of the situation. A lot of things had changed, but as you felt the heat from his palm and the way his thumb traced back and forth over your hand, you knew the important things were still exactly the same.
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