#the reference picture was of a lady's hand being kissed by a much larger man if you care to know

[tagidearte]

He's a knight after all.

Little -/+ 1hour sketch. I'm obsessed in case you couldn't tell.

[fandomfindings]

Pick Up

Pairings: (Kuroo Tetsurou x Fem!Reader)

Word Count: 2.0K

Warning(s): Cursing, Audacity

Summary: The first time you pick up your daughter from daycare leads to a misunderstanding between you and the staff.

A/N: (DN) = Daughter's Name

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"Can we go get ice cream when you pick me up, daddy?" Your daughter asked, kicking her little legs against the booster seat that kept her small body in place in the car.

Kuroo chuckled. Of course, the child was already looking forward to a sweet treat after school. "You're going to have to ask mommy princess; she's picking you up today."

"Mommy's picking me up?" (DN) perked up at the thought, removing her gaze from the window and to the back of her father's head.

"Mhm," Kuroo mumbled lightly. "I have to go on another business trip, so mommy's bringing you to daycare and back home all week," your husband explained thoroughly.

"Yes!" (DN) exclaimed, obviously excited for the change of events. Kuroo was usually the one to take her to and from school, for it fit better with his work schedule than your own.

"You're not going to miss me?" asked Kuroo, feigning hurt, as he looked between his daughter in the car's rear-view mirror and the road.

"I'll miss you, daddy, but mommy never picked me up from school before! I want her to meet all my friends and teachers, and she can see where we play," Your daughter began to ramble about all the things she was excited to show you, all the way until the two had reached her daycare.

Kuroo helped the child from her booster seat and then the car, taking her small hand into his significantly larger one.

"Alright, sweetheart. I'll call you for bed, okay," Your husband said once inside the building, down on one knee to be eye level with his child.

"Okay, daddy. Bye, I love you," (DN) said, grabbing her father's face with her small hands and placing a kiss on his forehead, an action she picked up from exchanges between you and your husband.

Kuroo smiled, reciprocating the action, his big hands taking up almost all of her face. "I love you too, kiddo."

As a worker took the girl to her class, Kuroo called out to her one last time, "Be good!"

"Yes, sir!" your daughter yelled back, turning around to wave her father goodbye.

Kuroo stood, ridding his suit of any dirt that may have stuck to him while he was on his knee. He was about to leave when someone spoke up to catch his attention.

"You're very good with her," said one of the workers. Kuroo often saw her when dropping off or picking up your daughter. They made small talk now and then, but he couldn't even remember the poor lady's name.

"I would hope so," Kuroo chuckled awkwardly, not sure how to respond to the supposed compliment.

The worker laughed back, almost too much in Kuroo's opinion considering the remark wasn't very funny.

"Yeah, I respect you for taking such good care of her, especially since," The woman began but was interrupted by the ringing of Kuroo's phone, a unique ringtone he had in place just for you.

As soon as he heard the tone, Kuroo didn't hear the rest of what the employee had to say. Unbeknownst to him, it was about him being a single father, which wasn't true by any means.

"Yeah, babe?" Kuroo answered, turning to leave the building, completely forgetting the previous conversation, too excited about hearing your voice.

"Bye, Mr.Kuroo!" shouted the lady, trying one last desperate attempt to get his attention.

He gave a simple wave of his hand back before leaving the building entirely.

"Who was that?" You questioned, hearing the voice even through the phone.

"One of the workers at (DN)'s school," Kuroo explained, uninterested. "How are you this morning, my love?" he asked, changing the subject to something he was actually interested in, you.

"Babe, let me tell you!" You exclaimed, getting ready to rant about your morning thus far, causing Kuroo to chuckle.

The rest of your day went off without too many more hiccups. You met Kuroo for lunch just before he left for his business trip. There you gave final goodbyes to your dismay, but you knew you would see him soon.

After work, you headed to your daughter's daycare, excited to see her cute little face again. Once there, you parked and headed inside to a front desk as Kuroo instructed.

"Hi, how are you?" asked an employee as soon as you reached the desk.

"I'm alright, and you?"

"I'm well. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Yes, I'm here to pick up (DN)," You stated using the sign-out sheet Kuroo had also instructed you to do.

"Kuroo (DN)?" The worker clarified, verifying your name after you completed the sheet.

"That's her," you smiled at the mention of her name.

"Of course, I'll get her right away."

"Thank you," you said politely to the retreating employee. As you waited, you pulled out your phone, seeing a picture from Kuroo looking bored in a meeting. Grinning to yourself, you replied with some words of encouragement.

"Are you her nanny?" asked a sudden voice. You looked up to see it was the other worker who was at the desk. You hadn't paid much attention to her since she didn't address you when you first arrived.

"I'm sorry?"

The woman asked again, "Are you (DN)'s nanny?"

"Ha no, I'm her mother," You replied, thinking it was funny that she thought so. Looking back to your phone, you were about to send a joking text to Kuroo about being the 'nanny', not finding a reason to continue the conversation.

Unfortunately for you, the woman continued it anyway, "You're her mother?" questioned the worker skeptically.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Am I sure I'm her mother?" You asked, voice rising in volume slightly, almost appalled she would ask such a thing. The employee nodded, not daring to ask you again. "I'm pretty sure, considering I've raised her since she was born. Would you like to see her birth certificate?" You challenged.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm going to have to call Mr.Kuroo just to verify," said the woman picking up the phone before you could even say anything.

"Mr.Kuroo? You mean my husband."

"Your husband?"

"Yes, my husband. (DN)'s father," You simplified, hoping the words would sink into her seemingly thick skull.

"Yes, hello?" Kuroo answered the phone, confused. He had (DN)'s school saved in his phone, but they never called him before.

"Hi, Mr.Kurro, I'm sorry to bother you. I know you're a busy man," the woman said apologetically, her tone and demeanor changing as soon as Kuroo answered the phone. She even had the gall to twirl the phone cord like a lovesick teenager. It made your blood boil. "I just wanted to let you know there is a woman here claiming to be (DN)'s mother."

"That's my wife," Kuroo answered easily, knowing you were heading to the daycare straight after work. "Is there a problem?"

The worker was a bit stunned, her view of the man changing instantly, she didn't know he was married, how embarrassing. "No sir, not at all," She replied, stuttering out a bit towards the beginning.

"Good. Please refer any further calls or concerns to my wife, please," Kuroo said before immediately hanging up the phone, needing to get back to his meeting.

"Yes, sir," the employee responded despite the lack of your husband on the call.

The woman looked up to you, mouth slightly ajar as if she was about to say something, but nothing passed her lips. Before she could say anything, hopefully, apologize for her behavior (DN) made her appearance.

"Mommy!" exclaimed your daughter's voice as soon as she saw you. Leaving the grasp of the other, more likable employee, she ran towards you, wrapping her small arms around both your legs.

"Hi, sweetheart!" You exclaimed, matching the child's energy, sinking to her level to wrap her in your arms. "How was your day?" You questioned, taking the time to glare at the lady who dared to question your role in your daughter's life.

"It was great! I went outside with my friends, and we read that book that you and daddy read me at bedtime." said the girl. "I even got to point at the pictures for the rest of the class."

"That sounds lovely, baby." You said, standing up and taking your daughter's hand. "Why don't you tell me the rest on the way home?"

"Can we stop for ice cream?"

"Did you get a green sticker today?" You asked, walking towards the exit of the building.

"I got gold!" Your daughter corrected the pride evident in her voice.

"Whoa, a gold! I think that calls for extra toppings."

"Yes!"

In a sickly sweet tone, you turned back to the unkind worker and said, "You have a good day."

You spent the rest of your day spending time with your daughter. After getting ice cream, you two went to the park for a bit and then home to get her cleaned up and ready for dinner. You cooked a meal both of you enjoyed to cheer you up and keep (DN)'s spirits high, though that was rarely a problem.

At bedtime, Kuroo called as promised and listened to your daughter rave about her day. You two read her to sleep, per usual.

Now it was just you and your husband, and now you were ready to talk about the altercation at the daycare. You had filled your husband in a bit via text, but it was nothing like a good old rant.

"It was fucking ridiculous! She's my daughter!" You yelled, pacing the large room you and Kuroo shared."I shouldn't have to explain myself to her. Who does she think she is?"

"I know, darling I think she was just trying to make sure you weren't trying to abduct a child," Kuroo tried to reason to calm you down.

"Bullshit. The other worker verified me. I'm on the emergency contacts list. They have my picture!" You explained, listing off the reasons why what the worker did was disrespectful and honestly unprofessional.

"Do you know what I think it is?" You rhetorically asked.

"What's that, love?"

"I think she likes you. She was obviously flirting during that call earlier."

Kuroo, genuinely not knowing this information asked, "Was she?"

"Yes! Blatantly so. She wasn't even trying to hide it, and I was right in front of her. Me! Your wife!" You shouted, trying to piece together what the woman was thinking, but it was honestly giving you a slight headache. "Did she not see the ring on my finger? The ring on your finger? The audacity of that bit-"

"Alright, alright, hey, calm down."

"Uh, it's just so upsetting," You said, mood going from anger to dejected. "Am I not in (DN)'s life enough? Do I need to do more?"

Kuroo sat up in his chair, staring at the phone as if he could see you. He should've video called you instead. "Hey, don't talk like that; you do plenty," Kuroo said firmly. "I just so happen to be the one who drops her off and picks her up. That's just how our schedules work. We're both busy, love."

"I know. You're right," You agreed, not being able to deny how busy you two are. "Maybe I should start doing drop off or pick up," You suggested. "I'm her mother, and they need to know that."

"I'm sure they do by now," Kuroo teased. "We'll talk more about this when I get home, okay."

You groaned, realizing he wouldn't be home until the end of the week."Can't you come home now?" I need you after such a rough day."

"I wish I could. I do," Kuroo said sadly. He really did wish he could be there for you right now. He'd prefer being in bed with you over some hotel room any day. "You know I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Yeah, I know."

You two sat in silence for a bit, both of you too tired to carry out much of a conversation. However, just the knowledge that both of you were on the phone was enough.

After a while, Kuroo spoke up."Go get you some beauty sleep," he said, knowing you would need the rest. "I'll call you in the morning."

"Fine," You sighed. "I love you."

"I love you too."

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A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading this imagine as much as I enjoyed writing it. This was so much longer than I originally intended but I won’t complain because I love how it turned out in the end. And honestly there’s no such thing as too much Kuroo. Feel free to let me know what you guys think!

Lots of Love <3

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

this may be my latest one (aside from those that never saw the light of day), but sorry life calls sometimes. enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions at the end 😘

Oh Carl, poor Carl. How on earth is he going to survive with Nick? 🤣 Honestly though, Jack so sneaky with her therapy despite being halfway across the globe. I love McGee’s “obviously she thinks you need it Nick” because HAHA nail on the head right there Timmy, he definitely needs it. Needs it to prove to himself a living thing can depend on him and he won’t let it down. 

They clearly still don’t believe in personal space, Nick does NOT need to get that close to look at a simple picture of a body on the camera 👀 broooo you so hooked on her she’s like a magnet pulling you in. Alsooooo them both officially switching to first names even in the field is so key. They might not even realize they’re doing it but at the same time they’re so (relatively) comfortable in their feelings of each other that they’ll say it in front of everyone, no qualms about it. I will also never get tired of hearing Nick call her Ellie. For someone so closed off initially, to now have slowly grown to call her on a first name basis when not a single other soul (sans Toby apparently) gets that sort of treatment 🥺😍 Plus he’s teasing her about food just slightly and it’s like old times again. Ellie getting back into her foodie status is perfect, thank you NCIS for finally giving us that. 

Were back to Carl and I’m chuckling at Nick’s worry for killing it. That is all, it’s hilarious like Gibb’s creepy laugh. 

Ok and now it’s Nick almost making fun of Ellie again, just barely and then he just…listens to her 😩 he just says, oh shit she’s really into this and borderline obsessed and I think that’s actually really f-ing adorable so let me just quietly take this all in because I can’t get enough of this woman and when she’s excitedly rambling about something I’m just going to soak it in because she doesn’t do this often so instead of teasing let me just look, listen and smile like the idiot in love that I am. He’s even kind of holding back a smile when she corrects herself about Kosmic vs Killer Korn. Like goddamn this woman does things to my insides even when she’s just talking about corn and poking me with her finger. Also we’re back to Nick taking a step back and letting Ellie take lead with questioning the food truck people- I love that he respects her so hard that he’ll follow her lead and knows she is a BA with this stuff. 

Some more cute partner stuff as per usual, and I’m sorry Nick do you not have your own computer and desk??? I mean, I don’t mind and I know Ellie doesn’t either but Gould you BE more obvious??? Plus he just nods along when she’s talking because his woman knows what is up y’all and you should listen and bow down. 

Nick calling Fornell, Toby is hilarious to me- such growth. “Emily is finally squared away” FUCK YOU NCIS. FUCK YOU. THE MOST POINTLESS LAZY STORYLINE EVER OKAY. AND I REFUSE TO DIVULGE THIS SHIT MORE BECAUSE IT PISSES ME OFF TOO MUCH. IF THEY DON’T HAVE THIS AS A LARGER PLOTLINE I WILL BE RIOTING. And yes I knew something major was going to happen but good lord that was so unnecessary. I digress. Ellie pondering out loud about Gibbs’ sad personal life and Nick and McGee’s reactions had be ugly cackling. Like dyyyyyyyying. I can’t with her 🤣🤣🤣 she saying what’s everyone is thinking. Nick giving her a little grief is also so perfect for them “yeah you DID say that out loud.”

Ok now to my favorite part, Nick once again following Ellie’s lead and being initially like oh you writing an article ok we’re going with that ok cool. And then Ellie says hold my earrings we getting crazy but at the same time this is rolling off my tongue like I’ve said it a million times and doodled it in cursive in my diary, my HUSBAND and I can help so like you know let us on your truck mister we’re vaccinated anyways. AND NICK I MEAN HIS FACE. The initial surprise of oh no did she *actually* just say that??? Did she??? why yes she did and I’m sorry why do I like the sound of it so much??? What is this bubbling feeling inside my chest of oh damn I would very much like to be her husband and have her babies and have her announce to random strangers on the street that I am hers??? Is this normal? Do I need to call a medic?? Can she say that again is there a reason she would need to? Prove our cover one more time baby, give me a quick kiss, serious it’s for the good of the case. But ok fine no kiss but yeah I’ll roll with this and call you smoothly with your first name and just play into it. I love them both so much in this whole moment. I love them undercover together and just being all cutesy and Ellie’s deepest desires coming out while she’s just you know, investigating the case. 

Ok I am going to completely ignore the reason we are somber in this bullpen in fear of losing my shit again (see above) but we’ll break down the ellick part of it. Nick near her desk because he needs to be by her side even if it’s just her proximity 🥺 And then he takes a long look at Carl before looking at Ellie and man that is poignant even if it seems like just a fish. This living being that he’s been so stressed about keeping alive, realizing he HAS kept it alive. Realizing that he CAN be a person that someone (or a fish) depends on. Realizing he is built for long-term, he is built for the interdependency of a serious relationship. And looking up to Ellie and seeing that need for comfort, for strength, for a person to depend on. He knows her own strength and independence, knows yeah- she could do it on her own if she had to. But he also acknowledges he can be there to help her, he won’t break and he won’t let her down- just like he hasn’t let Carl down. So what does he do? He takes the corn he’d most definitely picked up *before* the news of Emily’s death (and oh good lord is that not the cutest fucking thing? He’d listened to her gush and obsess over Kosmic Korn (and yes if you freeze frame, he got her favorite because he’s observant) and he said, let me take notes, let me get my wife I mean girlfriend I mean partner some corn because it makes her happy, and if I can do even the smallest thing to make her smile goddamnit imma do it. I’m going to show her that any little teasing I give her is for show and I listen and I love this woman enough to go back to Kosmic Korn BY MYSELF—willingly Nick Torres will go back to a food truck—and get this lady some damn corn). But yes he got this before Emily’s death and now not only is it just to make her smile, but it’s a shred of “I hope I can bring you some comfort because otherwise I’m not sure how even though I desperately want to give you comfort.” And Ellie, the small smile of recognition at what Nick did is so sweet. And it morphs into a hesitant, yes corn is great but I really need to feel you, I need to touch you and know you’re still here. Feel you in my arms, feel your chest rise and fall as you breathe me in and I breathe you in. Feel you being alive after all we and this team have been through. McGee might go hug his kids but god I need to hug you Nick. I need to nestle my head even closer to get as physically close to you as possible, feel every inch of your warmth while I wrap my head around how short life truly is. And Nick looking down and stutter slightly at the overwhelming emotion he feels having her in his arms. The peace it brings him and the peace it brings her all-consuming. The realization this is where he was always meant to be and the same to her. How even in a somber moment he’s grateful to be her strength and yet he knows she’s also his strength. That hand that didn’t need to but came up all the same to cradle her head and stroke her hair- holding her head right at his heart. His heart that’s inevitably thumping in his chest for all the right reasons. Pressing her into him, doing everything he can to keep her from shying away and retreating behind those walls they both have. Wrapping his other hand around her upper back, shielding her from the hurt that is the world the best he can. If she never leaves his heart, she can’t be hurt. And he can’t lose her. He’d do anything to never leave that spot, that embrace he so desperately craves and needs. The grounding embrace of finally being in one another’s arms for more than a brief adrenaline-induced second. Neither wanting it to end, and yet knowing it will have to. And honestly I can only picture Nick’s hand still gently brushing her hair as Ellie leans back ever so slightly to look up at him, his warmth still radiating over her as he looks down. Wordlessly they both collect their things to go, never wanting a sound to break that moment. Hands maybe even brushing as they enter the elevator- the unspoken shift between them refusing to be broken if words aren’t muttered. They’re still locked in that embrace if the world stays silent. And that last look of longing at car doors, knowing the moment they step in and drive away it does have to sever- the shift is there but the embrace is split. Both swirling with thoughts as they drive their separate ways home as to where to go next…

Aaaaand then cue a Gibbs-centric episode with trash references to how vets do their job, I’m not bitter. She says as she ruins a sweet emo moment at the end of the wwr with her bitterness 🙄 ANYWAYS I’m gonna leave it with no side notes because honestly I don’t remember any and also it is literally the day of the next episode I’m so terrible at getting this done how do y’all keep waiting for me & reading this trash 😅❤️ 

[donutloverxo]

Salty Baby

Chapter six

Summary - When you moved to New York in hopes of living a glamorous life this isn’t what you expected. Steve offers to help you but your pride gets in the way. Pride isn’t going to pay your rent and college loans.

Chapter themes - This chapter you meet the Avengers. Will you be able to make a good impression on them? smut, semi-public sex, angry sex, jealous steve.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 3k

Masterlist is linked in bio! Previous chapters can be found in it!

You were nervous about getting lavish gifts from Steve, for the twenty-five five gifts of Christmas he was going to give you. Things you didn’t really need, like the diamond bracelet he got you for your two month anniversary. You couldn’t exactly wear those kinds of things to class. Where your classmates talked about was dungeons and dragons or whatever a doctor who is.

But Steve’s twenty-five presents, all of them, were anything but materialistic. You were amazed at how he personalised each of them specifically for you. He knew you so well and in such a short time. Like how he got you first edition Sylvia Plath books, which you actually had the time to read now, or how he woke you up with your favorite breakfast, or how he woke you up with his mouth. You liked that much more than the breakfast. He also got you a big cosy grey sweater that swallowed you whole.

“You look so cute” He beamed at you bending down to kiss your forehead. You couldn’t help but blush at that. “I’m not cute!” You almost stomped your foot “You’ll always be cute to me doll”

You were pleasantly surprised when Anna invited you and Steve for Christmas dinner at her place. You did miss your nephews. Brock was, as always, gone for work. She didn’t want to spend Christmas alone with the kids. She also had to make a dig at you, how you’ll be in the same boat as her, what with Steve’s demanding job. Which was far from the truth, but you let it go.

The only problem was that it was the same day as the Christmas party at the Avengers tower. Steve, being the angel that he is, said you could go to the party after dinner, it would probably start late anyway.

“Doll, how does this one look?” He asked as you stared at him noticing how thick he looked under the off white cable knit sweater.

You gulped down smoothening the flare of the white lace dress Steve gifted you. “It’s perfect Steve. And stop being so nervous! I told you I don’t care about Anna’s opinion”

“Yeah but she’s the only family you have. I want to make a good impression” he said giving you a pout which you kissed away.

Thankfully you didn’t have to ask him to not take his death trap of a motorcycle. He got you both an uber. You enjoyed the whole city lit up with the beautiful festive lights. You couldn’t help but think you wouldn’t be half as happy if you didn’t have your man sitting right next to you.

“Oh my god. Ca – Captain America” Anna stammered as she looked at your boyfriend. Right, you never did mention you were dating Steve Rogers.

“Ma'am” he gave her a curt nod handing her the non-alcoholic wine bottle he had got since she was pregnant. She pushed about how considerate he was. Which was true.

Your nephews, instantly loved Steve. It didn’t take much to impress them, the lego sets and other toys and chocolates you got them probably helped as well. Both of them hanging off of his biceps as he sweeped them off the floor. While Anna tried to process that The Captain America was standing in her living room.

She dragged you to the kitchen excusing you both away from Steve. “What is wrong with you?! You never told me you were dating Captain America!” She whispered harshly.

“What difference does it make?” She only shook her head calling you a liar “Omitting information is not the same as lying. On that note I haven’t really told him about Mom” You paused gauging her reaction “I would appreciate it if you didn’t either” You winced as she smirked at you. Wouldn’t she love having such power over you?

“What do I get in return?”

“What the fuck do you want?” you snapped.

“I’ll think about it. But remember that you owe me”

You couldn’t get her words out of your head. As you kept stabbing at your meatloaf barely eating it. Steve squeezed your thigh, under the dinner table as if to reassure you. He threw his head back at the kids antics and making polite conversation with Anna.

“I’ve worked with Rumlow before” He mentioned referring to the picture frames he saw of Brock.

“Oh goodness really? He never mentioned it. But he never really talks about work. Are you good friends?” She asked eagerly.

He cleared his throat sitting up straight “Not really. But I would like to get to know him better”

Friends was always a touchy subject for Steve. Having lost so many of them, you were amazed at how he was still willing to open his heart up. He couldn’t connect to or trust anyone in this era. He didn’t need to tell you that, you could sense it. You were almost anxious, did he feel connected to you? Atleast half as much as you did to him.

Maybe that’s why you were more scared to meet his ‘family’ than he was to meet yours. You had to crane your neck up, to the point that it actually hurt so you could get a view of the Avengers tower. It was majestic and maybe a bit over the top. Not really your cup of tea, but from what you heard from Steve about Tony Stark, he loved going all out. Which was probably why there were humongous reindeers next to the A of the Avengers.

“It’s amazing!” You gushed as you both got in the elevator making your way over to the party deck. You could see why they called it a white party. The Christmas tree decorated with silver and white ornaments, which seemed to be the theme of the party. “Oh” You let out as you read that all the decorations and the tree would be bio-degradable. How is that possible?

“Cap you finally made it” You turned around to look at a blonde man, who was taller and larger than Steve which you didn’t get to see everyday, and a redhead, whom you recognised as the black widow, greeting Steve. You quickly stood next to him, holding his hand and lacing his fingers with yours.

“Oh you must be Steve’s lady” He raved squeezing you into a tight hug, which would normally be uncomfortable for you but somehow it wasn’t when he did it. It was almost comforting, like a bear hug. You awkwardly patted his back. With your face smashed in his chest you could barely breathe.

You finally pushed him away trying not to hypnotised by his eyes wrinkled by his wide gein “Yes I am the lady” you chuckled nervously smoothening the wrinkles of your dress. You looked down at the pretty white thing. You had never even worn a dress before, you weren’t sure if it was for you.

“Hope Steve is treating you well” Black Widow smiled at you before looking at Steve. “Aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she raised a brow at him.

“This is Thor” Steve frowned at the bulky blonde out of the corner of his eye “And this is Natasha” She smiled shaking your hand. Now Natasha, she looked absolutely ravishing in her grey bodysuit, that seemed to hug her in all the right places, she looked like someone who was made to fit into a place like this.

“Can I borrow Steve for a minute? We have some business to attend to” She said lacing hers arm with his.

Your breathe hitched at the thought of being left alone. “I – uh” You stammered.

“I can keep you company if you like” Thor offered and you smiled at him. Feeling his presence already comforting. You thanked him letting Steve know that you were fine.

For the next hour, Thor told you all about his home, which was in another world, something you still couldn’t wrap your head around. His delinquent brother Loki, who’s never up to any good. And his girlfriend Jane who unfortunately couldn’t join you too. His face beamed up when you told him you study physics. “I believe that is what Stark does”

“Oh I’m not sure it would be the same field. But maybe” You hummed.

“Where is he” He looked around, his silky long strands shaking with his head. “Oh Clint! Come meet Steve’s lady” He called out to someone.

“Oh you know what? I think I have to use the restroom” You stood up abruptly collecting your clutch. “I’ll catch you later” You said briskly walking away. You had caught a glimpse of a balcony on the when on the way from the elevator to the party which was your destination. As much fun as it was supposed to be to hang out with everyone, how all your classmates and your sister were ‘so jealous' of you, you were exhausted and completely burned out.

You breathed in the cold fresh air as you stood near the railing of the balcony, which was empty save for a few people. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you felt the air creep chills up your body. You close your eyes, your teeth clammering as you tried to rub your arms to create some warmth

“You don’t look so comfortable there” Your eyes snapped open as you heard someone drawl out. You looked to your left, where the voice came from, and instantly recognized the face. You’d have to live under a rock not to. It was the man who saved New York.

“I’m fine” You brushed him off. Not knowing how you could possibly speak to such a larger than life personality.

“It’s a nice party. Isn’t it?” He moved closer to you standing just a few feet away from you now “No? I’ll try to do a better job next time I guess” He shrugged his lips curling up in a smile.

“It is nice. But – I don’t know” you stopped yourself “– I’m just an introvert”

“See that's what people get wrong. Introverts don’t hate parties. I know plenty of ‘em who are the life of the party in fact”

“Name one” You scoffed.

He hummed for a minute as if thinking it over “Oh the hulk!” you cringed as he yelled enthusiastically “Banner is an anti social geek but the hulk is actually a pretty fun guy if you get to know him” he said leaning on the edge of the balcony.

“I don’t think that counts. Hulk and Banner are not the same...” you trailed off not quite sure if they were or weren’t and this time he scoffed not believing you “It’s true!” you argued “just like how Steve and Captain America aren’t the same person”

“Who capsicle?” he tilted his head.

You tried to hold it in, you really did but you burst out a laugh and quickly held your hand over your mouth to contain it. “Cap – what does that even mean?” You shook your head finally giving in and throwing your head back laughing at the ridiculous nickname.

“There you are” You stopped laughing as soon as you heard that voice. You whipped your head to look at Steve approaching the two of you, his jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed. “I’ve been looking all over for you” He said pulling you into him by grabbing your waist.

“Oh I’m sorry I got caught up -”

“You two know each other” Tony interrupted you and Steve introduced you as his girlfriend.

“We should get going. There are some other people I want you to meet” Steve said looking down at you, somewhat sternly, his tone reminding you of his authoritative side, the one he used on the battlefield and in bed with you.

You felt your heart beat fast and your mouth dry as you nodded. Steve held onto your wrist guiding you away from the balcony

“Wait!” Tony called out for you “don’t you wanna know what it means?”

“What’re you talking about?” Steve rolled his eyes, still pulling at your wrist but you stood your ground, you did want to know. You looked at Tony expectedly.

“He spent decades in the ice frozen like a capsicle” He chuckled “and because he always has a huge stick up his ass”

Your smile faltered at that. You thought it would be something fun his friends tease him with, but this just seemed mean-spirited. “It was nice to meet you Tony” You bid him goodbye and he waved you off as you walked with Steve back to the party.

You could feel Steve fuming beside you, but you weren’t exactly sure what he was angry at. You didn’t think a stupid nickname would make him so mad. You were about to ask him but you were pushed into a coat closet? What the hell? You yelped as your backside bumped against the desk in the middle of the closet. “What - Steve!” you scolded him as you looked at the brown grease on the desk stain your white dress. “this isn’t going to come off you know” you tried rubbing at it but you were sure it was ruined.

“What were you laughing about out there with Tony? I left you alone for barely half an hour” He said. His tone contained and cool. As if what he was saying was completely rational and true. Which only served to piss you off even more.

“You left me for an entire hour! You know I’m not good at these things. Why am I here?” You said pointing your at your chest “I’m here for you! And now you’re saying what? I’m flirting with other men?”

“That’s what it seemed like” He said with the same even tone and your hand twitched wanting to smack him across his stupid beautiful face.

“Whatever Steve” you shook your head pushing him away to get away from him. You never thought you’d need distance from your Steve. “Steve let me go” you pushed him again but you knew it would be of no use. You were no match against the great Captain America.

“No” He walked close to you caging you in till you had no where to go. You felt his hot breathe fanning against your face as he stared you down. You let out a breathe, disgusted that you could feel his erection against your thigh. That you were just as turned on.

“Fuck it” you leaned up on your toes crashing your lips onto his wrapping your hands around his neck, your teeth clattering together as his hands worked to push up your skirt and pull down your panties. He pushed you up to sit you on the desk and you cringed thinking of your once beautiful dress.

He pulls away from you, his face flushed and his lips swollen from your rough kiss. He put your panties into his dress pants. “I’ll buy you another one doll” But you didn’t know if he was referring to your dress or your panties. And frankly you didn’t care. You were so angry and hurt, that all you could think about was his dick inside you, your golden boy railing you in a fucking coat closet.

Your hands made quick work of unbuckling him and pulling him out of his briefs. His cock already hard and ready. You pulled it in to line him up with your entrance but he stopped you, swatting your hands away.

“I’m too big for you doll” He leaned into your ears to whisper, two of his fingers entering your channel. “And you’reso tight. We have to get your prepared” he groaned driving his fingers in and out of you adding a third one as you held onto his shoulders for life, biting into the crook of his neck to muffle your screams.

“Don’t you dare come” He warned you as he felt you clench around his fingers. You could only whimper to answer him, holding off on your release. Knowing that if you didn’t listen to him he wouldn’t fuck you. In that moment you felt as if you’d die if you didn’t feel his cock inside you. “Please fuck me” you tried to catch your breathe as tears clouded your vision. You cried as you felt his fingers slipping out of you. You were about to say that you didn’t come. That you were good. You deserved to get off!

But then, in one single thrust he pushed his cock deep inside you, hitting your g-spot. You sighed biting his earlobe and sucking on it as a way to thank him. The weight and warmth of him cooling down the burn in your core just a little bit. But you were still very much on edge.

He rolled his hip as he started fucking into you. You grabbed onto his hair with your hand pulling on it a bit. He groaned at that driving into you faster.

With his cock hitting your cervix, again and again with such ferocious pace, you couldn’t even remember what you were angry about. Were you angry? What were you doing in a coat closet? It didn’t matter, not really. The only thing that mattered was him, his cock inside you and your impending doom. “I need to come. Please “ You wailed unable to contain your sounds.

“Go ahead doll” he pulled away a bit to look into your eyes “I’m all yours” He drove his cock into you, in the way he knew you loved. He pushed your hair out of your face, staring at you so lovingly, feeling so vulnerable and overwhelmed you closed your eyes, if you didn’t see him he couldn’t see you either right?

You clenched around him as you felt him fill you up with his warm seed. Your orgasm hitting you like a tsunami. You felt completely spent, not being able to hold yourself up you laid your head on his shoulder.

Your high didn’t last for long. You felt him slip out of you, shuffling to take out a handkerchief and clean you up. You recalled what you were fighting about. How he mistrusted you even though you had given him no reason to do so. You hugged him closer not ready to address all those issues just yet. They could wait till you had had your moment with him.

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[hopelikethemoon]

New Tricks (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: New Tricks Rating: PG-13 Length: 4000 Warnings: Discussions of sex, sex toys, etc. annnnd family fluff.  Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set in late October 1997. A few things to point out: pegging was not coined until 2001, so the use of it in this fic is a bit anachronistic, but alas. That whole portion of the upcoming plot will slowly come out over the next week or so. Also, the location she mentions living near is a famous shop in Philly. This is derived from my personal background for reader (here). Shoutout to @propertyofpoeandbucky​ for the idea for the second half of this fic.  Summary: Javier and Reader work towards trying something new. 

Taglist:  @grapemama  @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @just-add-butter @snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04​ @mrsparknuts​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @exrebelshocktrooper​ @awesomefandomsunited​ @ah-callie​ @swhiskeys​ @lady-tano​ @beskar-droids​ @space-floozy @cable-kenobi​ @longitud-de-onda​ @cool-ultra-nerd​ @himbopoes​ @findhimfives​ @pedrosdoll​ @seeking-a-great--perhaps​ @frietiemeloen​ @arrowswithwifi​ @random066​ (more tags in the replies)

“If any of my students catch me in here…” Javier told you lowly, pushing his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose, before he shoved his hands into his leather jacket. 

“Well you’re drawing attention to yourself.” You told him, giving him a pointed look as he shifted his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet, rocking back and forth as you perused the aisle. “Chill. It’s a sex shop, Javi. It’s not like we’re buying blow.” 

“I’d rather be doing that.” He retorted, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he met your gaze. “Do you really think this is what Nancy meant when she told us to be adventurous?” He questioned, glancing towards the shelves. 

You rolled your eyes, “She gave me the address.” 

“Shit.” He huffed, crossing his arms across his chest now. “How adventurous are we talking, baby?” Javier questioned, following behind you as you stopped in front of a display of vibrantly colored dildos. 

You pursed your lips as you tilted your head to look at him. “I don’t know. How adventurous do you want to be?” You questioned, turning then and resting your hand on his shoulders. “I want us both to be comfortable.” 

“I dunno,” Javier dragged his teeth over his bottom lip as he glanced at the display, brows furrowing. “Let’s stick to things that aren’t going to bruise my ego.” You followed his line of sight to a dildo that was significantly larger than he was. 

You tried not to laugh, but failed. “You’re more than enough for me, babe.” You promised him, leaning up on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. 

Javier huffed, tilting his head to look down at you. “I get the impression you know a lot about this shit.” He gestured vaguely around the shop. 

“A bit.” You shrugged a shoulder. “I can’t say I’ve tried a lot, but I’m aware of it.” You brushed your fingers over the hair that fell against his forehead, before tracing your fingertip over the worry line between his brows. “We don’t have to do anything, Javi. We came, we’ve seen, we can tell Nancy nothing struck our fancy.” 

“Can I help you guys find anything?” Asked the shop employee, who had already introduced himself to you as Rocky when first you came in. 

Javier clenched his teeth and shook his head, “We’re good. Still looking.” 

“Well, if you need any help I’m here.” He offered, looking between the two of you. “The first time in a shop like this can be a little overwhelming.” 

“I actually used to live near The Pleasure Chest,” You told him as you took Javier’s hand into yours, interlacing your fingers. You knew he was uncomfortable. 

“Lucky girl,” Rocky grinned at you. “I’ve ventured north twice to hit that spot. Worth it.” He looked towards Javier then. “Your first time?”

Javier made a vaguely disgruntled face as his other hand went to his hip. “Our therapist suggested the place.” 

“Trouble?” He questioned with a frown. 

“No, actually.” You were quick to interject. “But she suggested that we might want to try something new together…” 

Javier truly looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. “I mean, what are we supposed to try?” He questioned, shaking his head slowly. “We’ve got two kids. It’s not like we can install that⁠—” He pointed towards a sex swing that was set up at the far end of the aisle. 

Rocky laughed, “Sounds like quite the dilemma. There’s always costumes. Most people enjoy a little roleplay in the bedroom.” He suggested, but you shook your head. 

“We are terrible at that.” 

“Because you break character.” Javier pointed.

You shot him a look. “Oh, so you do like that, Professor?”

Javier glared at you. 

“I seem to remember someone didn’t enjoy pretending to be strangers.” You reminded him.

Rocky looked between the two of you, “Have you ever considered pegging?”

“Excuse me?” Javier questioned, his head jerking as he stared back at Rocky. 

You just gaped. Holy shit. 

“I’ll take that as a no.” Rocky laughed nervously. “Well, I absolutely understand that it’s not something every man is into, I personally think it’s worth a try. You might surprise yourself. A lot of men say they have their best orgasms from the experience. Not to mention, their partners enjoy being in control.”

“I don’t think so.” You offered with a shake of your head. Your face felt like it was on fire and suddenly your throat was very dry. It certainly put an interesting picture in your mind. But Javier would never. Though, he never had any argument against letting you take the lead in the bedroom. 

No. He would never. 

“Alright, well... I’ll leave the two of you to look around.” Rocky said, before excusing himself. 

Javier looked dumbfounded, hands shoved back into his pockets as he turned to stare at the wall of dildos again. 

“We can leave.” You told him, looping your arm around his as you leaned into his side. “I know you’re uncomfortable.”

He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, as he exhaled heavily. “This is all just outside of my frame of reference.” He admitted. “I think you and I were raised in very different locales.”

You nodded in agreement. “I can’t imagine Texas being very…” You gestured towards the dildos. “And I’ve been to Laredo.” It was a one horse town that had more churches than people. 

Javier cleared his throat, shuffling somewhat awkwardly as he nodded his head towards the display. “Is that what he was talking about?” He questioned, glancing sideways at you.

You chewed on the inside of your bottom lip as you nodded. “Yeah, that’s the uh… the harness.” You wrapped your arms around your waist nervously, looking between the device and Javier curiously. “Did that actually pique your interest?”

“No.” He answered a little too quickly, scratching at his jaw. “I don’t know.” 

Your brows shot upwards. “Really? Huh.” 

“Huh?”

You cocked your head to the side, “It’s just… You’re very in control.” You gestured to him, tightening your fist to symbolize just how very much in control he was when it came to life. “I can’t really picture you letting me fuc⁠—”

“I get it.” 

You stepped around him and picked up the box containing just the harness, flipping it over to look at the instructions on the back. Your cheeks were burning with a flush that you could feel spreading down your neck and across your chest. Even your ears felt like they were on fire. “Really?” You said again, turning to look at Javier. “I’m definitely not judging, I’m just surprised.” 

“I mean…” He rubbed at the back of his neck, “We couldn’t be accused of not being adventurous if we give this a try.” 

You snorted, “Because that’s definitely the only reason for me to peg you.” You sat the box back on the shelf, turning to face him. “I think it’s something you’re supposed to build up to.” You explained, “We can just get a toy to start.” 

“Smart.” Javier’s brows drew together as his teeth dug into his bottom lip. He looked back towards the display apprehensively. “I could hate it.” 

“You could.” You agreed, leaning towards him and resting your cheek against his arm. “Or you could really enjoy it.” 

He curled his arm around your waist, hooking his finger in your belt loop. “Yeah.” 

Your eyes flickered over the offerings on the shelf, before you spotted a slim neon blue toy with a flared base. It wasn’t particularly large and the box advertised that it was For Beginners. “What about…” You pointed at it and you felt him stiffen.

Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “We take this to the grave.” 

“Oh, babe… I wouldn’t dare.” You snaked your arms around him. “I don’t even know if I want to tell Nancy.” 

He pursed his lips and shook his head. “And we never speak of it again if I hate it.” 

“Agreed.” 

Javier pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Fuck.” He chuckled, rubbing his hand over the small of your back. 

You pulled away from him as you leaned down to pick up the box, “Do you want to wait outside while I buy it?”

“Yeah.” He scraped his nails against his jaw as he shifted on his feet.

Apparently there were still things left to be learned about Javier. You had assumed that he’d rather die than be into anything of the more taboo nature in the shop, but apparently you were wrong. You couldn’t deny the picture you had in your mind’s eye was a very appealing one. 

“You’re sure about this?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I think it’s worth an attempt.” 

“I’m not going to lie to you, Javi.” You told him, tapping the box against the center of his chest. “The idea of you letting me use this on you is… very appealing.” 

Javier cocked a brow upwards, “Really?”

You nodded, grinning up at him. “What can I say? I love it when you’re at my mercy.”

He hooked his fingers in your belt loops and pulled you towards him. “I’m always at my mercy, baby.” Javier told you, leaning down to kiss you gently. “But we tell no one.” 

You crossed your finger across your chest. “To the grave.” 

 ⁠—⁠—⁠—⁠—

 You knelt down on your knees in front of Josie, “Please be careful, sweetheart. You have a mouth full of pretty teeth that the tooth fairy isn’t ready to come collect.” You warned her as you tied the laces of her roller skates. 

“I’ll be careful, mommy.” She promised, grinning broadly at you and pointing at her teeth. “I have big girl teeth.”

“Not quite.” You chuckled, shaking your head. Though she did have one loose tooth. You weren’t sure you were ready for your four-year-old to have grown-up teeth. She was still your little baby. 

You stood back up, holding out your hands for her as she slid off the chair and tried to balance on her feet. “Ooo! I can roll!” She squeezed your hands excitedly, slowly sliding her feet back and forth like she was walking. 

Javier returned with two boxes of roller skates, sitting them down on the chair beside Josie’s. “Look at you!” He clapped for her, before he scooped her up into his arms, much to her delight. “Are you going to be safe out there?”

“Yeah!” Josie promised him, throwing her arms around his neck. 

You sat down in the chair and kicked off your shoes, opening the box Javier had brought over to grab your own pair of skates. “I’m going to warn you, it’s been since before Colombia since I’ve skated.” 

Javier gave you a look, “You think I’ve gone skating since we got to Miami?”

“Who knows what you and Steve get up to.” 

“Not this.” He nodded his head towards the rink, where Olivia and the rest of her birthday guests were already darting around on rollerskates. 

“I’m just saying, he’s got rollerblades. He knows what he’s doing.” You shrugged as you started lacing your shoes up. “Are you actually going to get out there?” You questioned, glancing up at him as he tossed Josie into the air, making her giggle and squeal. 

“You’re going to get kicked in the face with skates.” You warned him.

“Yeah.” He laughed, sitting Josie back down on her feet. “And yeah, I guess I’ll give a try.” 

“I’ll give you the same warning I gave her. Don’t break anything.” You looked up at him from under your lashes. “Old man.” 

Javier feigned offense, “Did you hear that, JoJo? Your mom thinks I’m old.” 

She scrunched up her nose and looked up at him. “But you are old daddy!” 

You snorted. “This is what you get for telling her you had a pet dinosaur when you were a kid.” 

Javier rolled his eyes. “I’m surrounded.” 

“Surrounded by what?” Monica questioned as she joined the three of you, already laced into her boots. 

“People who think Javi’s old.” You informed her with a grin. 

Monica laughed, “I’d comment, but I want a good grade in class.” She gestured beside her, “You guys remember Nadia.” 

“Nice to see you again,” Javier gave her a nod as he sank down into the seat beside you, opening up the box of rollerskates. 

“Are you really going to skate?” Monica arched a brow.

Javier pursed his lips, looking between the two of you. “Do you both know something I don’t know? Did my doctor call?” 

You leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You already complain about your back, Javi.” 

“I can skate.” He assured you, reaching over to give your knee a squeeze. “And someone’s gotta make sure Josie doesn’t wipe out.” 

Josie put her hands on her hips, “I don’t need help!” She announced, turning to Monica. “I have Monica!” 

“I think Monica and Nadia might want to skate alone, sweetheart.” You told her as you gave her a warning look. You had tried to teach Josie that there were times when Monica wanted to be alone, mostly when she was studying… but sometimes Josie missed the cues. 

“It’s really okay,” Monica assured you, holding her hand out for Josie. 

“Are you sure?” You looked between her and Nadia. 

Nadia shrugged. “I’m the one who agreed to a date at a child’s birthday party.” 

“Have fun, please.” You told Monica, “And send her back if she’s too much.” 

“Will do.” She and Nadia both gave you mock salutes, before they skated off with Josie in between them. 

“At least she’ll have fun.” You remarked as you finished tying your laces, giving Javier a sideways look. “All this teasing and I’m sure I’m going to be the one to bust my ass.” 

“Karma.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth and shot you a look as he laced up his shoes. “You’re going to give me a complex, baby.” 

“And what kind of complex is that, hmm?” You arched a brow. “Because I noticed two of those mothers sizing you up like a piece of cake.” 

 Javier huffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, like the fathers weren’t ogling you.” 

“They just can’t handle how hot we are.” You remarked as you stood up, testing your balance on the skates. “Okay, it is like riding a bike.” You said as you rolled backwards, shifting your weight as you slowly turned in a circle. “And for the record,” You told him, rolling towards him and planting your hands on his shoulders as you leaned forward, lips close to his ear. “You’re my favorite slice of cake.” 

He took your hands as you stood back up, letting you pull him to his feet. He was not quite as steady on his feet as you were, but after a couple minutes of slowly gliding over the carpeted floor outside the rink, he was ready to join the madhouse of children and parents rolling around the skating rink. 

Javier interlaced his fingers with yours as you skated side-by-side around the outside of the rink, maneuvering around slow moving children who were using PVC roller walkers to make their way around the rink. 

Once you both caught up with Monica and Nadia, you traded off with them, letting Josie skate in between you and Javier so they could go off and have a proper date. You were thrilled that she had found someone to spend time with. As much as you loved having her around the house to help (and pay penance for the drama she caused) you mostly just wanted her to be happy. She was a good kid, and you wanted the world for her. Just like you wanted the world for your own flesh and blood. 

“Mommy, I’m thirsty!” Josie complained. 

“We should probably check on Sofia anyways.” You pointed out, guiding the three of you towards the exit point. 

“I’m waiting for Connie to tell us they’re going to try to adopt another kid,” Javier quipped, “I’m afraid Sofia’s given her baby fever all over again.” 

You laughed, “Does Steve want another one?”

“No.” 

“Two is already a lot to handle.” 

“Yeah, I know.” He gave a pointed look down at Josie who was clinging to his hand. 

“Ditto.” You played with Josie’s curls, “Why don’t you go with daddy to get some punch, sweetheart.” 

“Okay.” She nodded, holding both of her arms up in the air, so Javier had to carry her. You were actually impressed that he was able to carry a squirming four-year-old and skate his way around the rink towards where the refreshments were set up. 

You skated over towards Connie who was settled into a booth with Sofia and Emily, who was not interested in skating with her sister. “Having fun?” You questioned as you slid into the booth across from them. 

“Yeah!” Connie nodded. “I’m so glad so many people decided to come out for this. With how close it’s getting to Halloween, I didn’t know how many people wanted to be out with their kids two Fridays in a row.” 

“Josie’s having a blast.” You grinned. “I think everyone’s having fun.” You looked towards Emily. “Except for someone.” 

“She’s at the stage where she doesn’t want to do anything her sister wants to.” 

“I’m dreading that.” You admitted, peering across the table at the drawing Emily was working. “What’s that?” You asked her. 

“Hunchback.” 

“Oooh, a coloring book.” You said with feigned enthusiasm. “We just got Josie a Beauty and the Beast one the other day.” 

“I like Belle.” Emily beamed. 

“Josie does too.” You looked towards Connie then. “Have you seen Hunchback? It’s intense for a kid.”

Connie made a face and nodded. “I told Steve to watch it first, but he didn’t listen. Liv was terrified. Emily, not so much.” 

You chuckled, “Wildly different kids, huh?”

She nodded, looking towards Emily with a fond smile. “I think this one’s going to end up a politician. I’ve never seen a three-year-old debate the way she does.” 

You shook your head as you laughed, “Tell her to be a lawyer instead. Still corrupt, better pay.” 

“So… how are things?” Connie questioned, folding her arms atop the table as she regarded you with an arched brow. 

You rubbed at the back of your neck, “I mean therapy is definitely helping. Nancy’s really got us working on aspects of our relationship that we didn’t really realize had issues.” 

“Issues?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “I mean none of it is really serious, but we’re both… I don’t know, bad at communicating.” 

“Really?”

“I know. Surprise.” You shook your head. “We’ve both shielded each other from a lot of misunderstandings and weird emotions.” You glanced towards the rink, brows furrowed as you sought out Javier amongst the crowd. He had Josie on his shoulders while he chatted with Steve. “I still have bad days,” You admitted to Connie as you looked back at her. “Sofia is so different from Josie. She was such a good baby, but with Sofia it’s just… I don’t know how much of it is actually an issue and how much of it is just my brain telling me its an issue.” 

“Is the medicine helping?” 

You nodded. “Yeah. First week or so it made me super exhausted. But that’s better now.”

“Any other problems?”

“None.” You smirked. “I’m fortunate that those side effects didn’t crop up. I would’ve died.”

“I know I didn’t really know Javi that well before you came to Colombia, but…” Connie shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just very impressed with him.” She gestured towards the skating rink, where Steve and Javier were helping their daughters skate backwards. “I never pictured him as the type of man who would go to therapy for his partner.” 

You smiled as you watched him scoop up Josie as she started to fall backwards in her attempt to skate. He bounced her in his arms, before setting her back on her feet and encouraging her to try again. “He’s a better man than he’s willing to accept.” 

“Honestly, I feel like an idiot.” 

“Why?”

Connie gave you a look, “All those times I tried to set him up with someone.” 

You shrugged, “You were just trying to be a good friend.” 

“But you were right there.” 

You nodded your head slowly. “I was, but… things worked out for the best.” 

“If we’re being honest,” Connie lowered her voice. “I used to think Javier would be a terrible influence on Steve. I mean, I never doubted Steve, but when you spend all that time with someone willing to… you know.” 

“I know you judged me too.” 

Connie made a face, “Just a little bit of judging.” 

You laughed, shaking your head. “No shame in that.” 

“But I’m glad things have worked out for the two of you.” She told you honestly. “I always wanted the best for both of you, I just didn’t realize the best was together.” 

You shrugged, “I mean, neither did we. If you and Steve hadn’t decided to leave, who knows where we’d be right now.” You made a face. “I don’t like any of the alternatives that don’t lead me here.” 

Sofia started fussing in her baby seat and you gestured for Connie to pass the carrier across the table. “Is it too noisy in here for you?” You questioned, as you unstrapped her and picked her up. 

She tried to fit her fist into her mouth, cooing as you sat her on the edge of the table, cradling the back of her head. “She’s started rolling over.” 

“Big milestone.” 

You couldn’t help but smile as Sofia gurgled and waved her slobbery fist at you. “What? You want kisses?” You questioned, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead and then each cheek. “I just can’t believe how fast four months have come and gone.” 

“Almost five.” She pointed out. 

“I can't even believe that Josie is as big as she is. Time’s… moving quickly.” You shook your head slowly. “You’re getting so big.” You scrunched up your nose, leaning in to nuzzle it against her cheek. 

“You’re not bad on those.” Connie quipped and you glanced to your right as Javier rolled towards the table. You scooted over, giving him space to sit down. 

“Worn out?”

“That child can go and go.” He swept his hand over his forehead. “Monica’s got her.” 

“Good.” You leaned towards him and pressed your cheek against his shoulder with a sigh. “We were talking about how big the girls are getting.”

“It’s fuc— freaking crazy.” He corrected himself, glancing towards Emily who was working on deciphering some puzzle on one of the coloring pages. “Though someone seems to think I’m getting crotchety.” 

You snorted, “Well, if you keep using old man words.” 

He squeezed your leg under the table, “Not too old that I’m not willing to learn a few new tricks.” 

Your cheeks burned, but you occupied yourself with your daughter, rather than acknowledging what he’d said. “Just you wait until your father gets you walking early like he did with your sister.” You gave her foot a squeeze as she started kicking them towards you. 

“Gimmie.” Javier held his hands out and you let him take Sofia. “She’s got a strong kick.” He remarked, grimacing a little as her foot knocked into his sternum. “I’m telling you, both of our daughters are going to be soccer players.” 

“How’s Josie enjoying gymnastics?” Connie questioned. 

“Better than ballet.” You rolled your eyes. “The moms aren’t nearly as…”

Javier snorted, “The moms don’t have a pact at gymnastics.” 

“I still don’t get it.” You teased, nudging him in the ribs. 

He turned and pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. “You must see something.” 

You lifted your hand and brushed your fingers over his forehead, fluffing his hair as you grinned at him. “Yeah, I guess I see a whole lot of something I like.” You pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “I love you.” 

“Love you too, baby.” 

“You’re both disgusting,” Connie remarked with a grin. 

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “Trust me, I know.” You rested your cheek against his shoulder again, watching Javi as he entertained Sofia. 

[loveforpreserumsteve]

End of the Line (Pre-Serum Alpha!Steve and Pregnant Omega!Bucky Modern Bus Trip A/B/O AU)

Seven:

"Oh, well this one is definitely going on the fridge," Steve praised, holding the giraffe page up in front of him. Green and purple scribbles covered the outline of the cheerful animal since Noah wasn't able to, or concerned with, coloring inside the lines. But that didn't stop Steve from encouraging the little boy.

Beaming at the attention, Noah quickly got back to coloring another picture. Just as Maisie was. As Steve added the giraffe picture to the growing pile on his lap, Bucky teased, "You're not gonna have any room left on your fridge."

"Can't help that your pups are talented," Steve shrugged. A smile on his face as he joked, "Maybe I'll just buy another fridge."

"That's your solution?!" Bucky chuckled, watching the alpha.

"You got another suggestion?" Steve challenged, quirking a brow.

Biting his lip, Bucky ran a hand over his abdomen to calm the excited unborn pup inside him. They were travelling through Texas now, on their way to another stop. It was dark outside, clearly past the pups' bedtime. But their moods were so much better than Bucky had seen them in so long, that he couldn't tell them to go to sleep. In an attempt to ease his own anxieties with not being a good father, Bucky told himself that his pups had taken naps, and that he'd have them sleep after this upcoming --

Bucky's stomach growled in his hunger, but he blamed that on eating for two. A soft nudge at his elbow gained Bucky's attention, where he found Steve silently handing him one of the apple pie desserts across the aisle. Tears started to build in his eyes with how thankful he was to have met this kind alpha, as he accepted the sugary treat from him.

Tearing the top off the individual box, Bucky didn't hesitate to bite into the turnover type treat. He did, however, ask his daughter beside him, "Ya hungry, baby?"

With her tongue peeking out as she concentrated on her coloring sheet, Maisie shook her head. Setting down her crayons, she held the sheet up to look over her work before handing it to Bucky, asking, "Can you give it to Steve?"

"Give it to Steve?!" Bucky feigned offense as he playfully pouted, "What if I want to keep it?"

"Daddy," Maisie giggled in her exasperation while rolling her eyes.

Bucky looked over the elephant coloring sheet. The grass was teal, the elephant purple, and pink stars twinkled in the sky. Sure, the crayon marks weren't exactly inside the lines, but there was a clear effort. Perhaps she was even a genius. Who knows, she could've been a prodigy. Bucky sure thought she was a special little lady.

"Daddy," Maisie whined when she saw that he was still holding the picture.

Rolling his eyes -- that's where she gets it -- Bucky unceremoniously handed the picture across the aisle to Steve. Beaming, Steve delicately accepted the picture. A smile remained on Steve's lips as he looked over the coloring sheet. Bucky's heart stuttered in his chest and he returned his attention to the apple treat in his hand.

Looking over at Bucky -- no, looking past Bucky, to Maisie -- Steve smiled at the little girl, and complimented her artistic endeavors, "You are so good at coloring."

"Yeah?" Maisie perked, blushing at Steve's enthusiasm. Hiding behind Bucky's larger frame, she hesitantly questioned, "Can you put it on your fridge?"

"Can I --" Steve stopped, feigning flabbergasted as he touched his chest and promised, "I wouldn't dream of doing anything other than that." Admiring the picture once more, Steve assured, "This is a masterpiece! It deserves to be hung in a museum!" Glancing down at Noah beside him, Steve exclaimed, "The Maisie and Noah Museum of Refrigerator Art!"

Bucky's chest clenched as he smoothed down Maisie's messy brown curls with his prosthetic hand. The way his children reacted to Steve made Bucky long for a partner like him. A partner that would encourage his children and allow them room to flourish without cruel criticism that hurt them and caused them fear.

Just then, distressed pup scent blossomed through the air. Considering there were only two children on the bus and one of those two was sitting next to Bucky, positively cheerful, he knew exactly where it was coming from.

Immediately, his head snapped over to look at Noah, sitting next to the window on the other side of Steve. Noah had lifted the coloring book to hide his face, but Bucky could see that his skin was flushed the way it normally got when he was crying.

As Bucky rose from his seat, to comfort his pup, Steve moved from his seat. Wringing his hands together and emitting a rotten, distressed scent of his own as he helplessly moved out of the way.

"Sweetie?" Bucky questioned, easing the coloring book from Noah's red, tear-stained face, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Noah's lower lip quivered as more tears streamed down his round, baby cheeks. Sniffling, Noah choked out, "Had, had, had… ask-ah-dent."

Scenting Noah by rubbing his wrist along his cheek, Bucky attempted to calm his pup with his scent as best he could as he deciphered, "You had an accident?"

Nodding, Noah sobbed, "'M sorry, daddy!"

"It's okay, baby," Bucky reassured, unbuckling Noah's seatbelt, and lifting the small toddler into his arms.

While Noah buried his face in Bucky's neck, Steve knocked on the bus's bathroom door and remorsefully relayed, "Someone's in there."

"It's okay," Bucky assured, grabbing the diaper bag from the overhead compartment and ignoring the curious and concerned looks from the other passengers.

Having issues with calming Noah and rifling through the diaper bag for another pull-up, Bucky turned towards Steve. Relieved when Steve was already standing there, ready to help. Handing the bag over to Steve, Bucky lifted the arm rest in between the seats and laid Noah down.

Trying to change the toddler as quick as possible, Bucky clinically removed his shoes and pants. Too busy worrying about his pup's mental well-being, and attempting not to show how truly heartbroken he was for his son as Noah remained absolutely still and sucked on his thumb, to self-soothe himself.

As he removed the pull-up, alpha anger soured the air. A spicy, red hot cinnamon that caused Bucky to hold back a cough as tears formed in his eyes. Fearful of what he would find, Bucky cautiously glanced over to Steve. The man stood there clenching his jaw so tightly that Bucky was positive that he'd hurt himself.

Closing his eyes, Steve took in a grounding breath and, through clenched teeth, questioned, "He do that?"

"Do?" Bucky quietly asked as he brought his gaze back to his son. There, he saw what Steve was referring to.

Noah's bare bottom was red with some spots starting to turn purple. Of course, Bucky knew what caused the bruising. It had been the straw that broke the camel's back. Bucky had returned after giving Maisie a bath to find Brock spanking Noah. No, not spanking, beating Noah's bottom.

Brock claimed that Noah was never going to potty train with the way Bucky coddled him. Even going so far as to gesture at the wet spot on his lap where Noah had been sitting. Once Brock thought that he had efficiently explained what had happened, he went back to punishing Noah with his large hand.

Bucky had ushered Maisie into her and Noah's bedroom before crossing the room to help Noah. Stepping in between his son and the alpha who sired him. Lifting his silently sobbing son into his arms and turning for the bedroom. Not understanding how someone could be so unnecessarily cruel to a child. Especially when it was their parental duties to protect their children.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Brock had growled, grabbing onto Bucky's left shoulder because he knew it was the weaker side. Clamping down so hard that it earned a whimper from Bucky, as his back slammed against the wall.

"He's a baby!" Bucky had defended, positioning Noah away from Brock.

Not caring one bit, Brock crowded into Bucky's space, and sneered, "Did I say I was done with him?"

It was rhetorical, so Bucky kept his mouth shut. Knowing that he needed to play this smart. Needed to get out of there before Brock could beat him and cause him to go into premature labor the way he did with Noah. Needed to get out of there before Brock finally went too far and ended up killing --

"Buck?"

Sniffling, Bucky came back to himself. Steve's anger was still there, but not as strong as before. Now, he was more concerned and was carefully rubbing his wrist in soothing circles on his shoulder. Scent marking Bucky while watching with concern-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm okay," Bucky sniffled again, wiping his snot on his sleeve before pulling a clean pull-up on Noah. Redressing the toddler, Bucky looked him over. Fixing a smile on his face, Bucky leaned forward and started pressing kisses all over Noah's sweet little face. Not stopping until Noah finally giggled out his protest.

Resting his forehead against Noah's, Bucky confirmed, "I love you."

"Love you," Noah hiccuped, wrapping his arms around Bucky's neck, and allowing Bucky to pull him up with him as he crossed the aisle back to his seat.

Sitting down, with Steve's assistance, Bucky weakly smiled at the alpha. Tired and embarrassed, Bucky focused on his children. Stroking his metal fingers over Maisie's cheek to wipe away her tears as he told her, "I love you."

"Love you," Maisie softly replied, nuzzling into Bucky's side as silent cries wracked her tiny frame.

Rubbing Maisie's back, Bucky dropped a kiss to the top of her head. Nosing along her hair to softly scent his pup, hoping that the more affection he gave her, the faster her sadness would dissipate. When Maisie's tears ceased, Bucky peeked over at Steve. Hoping that the alpha wouldn't judge him too harshly considering how awful of a father he was.

Instead of finding disgust or contempt, Bucky was surprised to still find kindness etched deep into Steve's expression. His blue eyes held nothing but concern and sympathy when they locked with Bucky's. New tears started building in Bucky's eyes. Especially when Steve extended his hand across the aisle to Bucky.

Feeling like a lifeline, Bucky grabbed onto the petite alpha's large hand. Tenderly, Steve gave his hand a squeeze, but reluctantly released it when the passenger exited the restroom. For a moment, Bucky nuzzled into Noah's curls while watching the other passenger make their way down the aisle, returning to their seat. When he redirected his attention back to Steve, he blushed at the realization that Steve was still watching him with a soft uptick to his lips.

[bubmyg]

just another day - myg

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: lovers to...lovers?, non idol!au, fluff, like tooth rotting, aching, falling out of your head fluff, im so sorry ajfklsaf

word count: 3,521

a/n: part 7 of to lovers and a follow up to the piece i posted last year on valentine’s day which means it’s been a year since i started posting bts writing!! it’s been a fun time and here’s to many more fun times :-) if you’re looking for the piece in question, it’s just titled “valentine’s day” and it’s listed under the “blurbs” section of my masterlist but it does not have to be read to understand this piece (although i do reference it a fair few times)!! also, the rest of to lovers is linked on my masterlist :’-)

Yoongi wrinkled his nose at the ridiculously large, heart shaped balloons clinging to a standee chalkboard all while adjusting the, ridiculously, large bouquet of flowers in his arms. His swift steps over cracked sidewalks paused as he considered the balloons for a moment, then the soft petaled tips of pastels digging into the crook of his elbow.

Someone’s bag brushed against the unbuttoned sides of Yoongi’s jacket as they tried to maneuver around his stature planted in the middle of the walkway. He panicked, phone call halfway in progress as he fumbled the device and the flowers all to shove a hand into the depths of his pocket.

His panicked pats around balled gloves and a crinkled receipt stalled when your voice hushed from his phone dangling between the press of his knuckles on his index and middle fingers. It was coincidence that his thumb traced the outline of the object in question, still safe and tied in the thickest part of his glove as he instead traded his attention for jamming his phone against his ear.

You were rambling a mixture of his name and quiet are you okay’s and what are you doing’s when Yoongi’s rushed mumble cut you off.

“How do you feel about balloons?”

Your voice cut off entirely and you were silent as Yoongi shifted his weight, back and forth, until you were giggling quietly into the receiver.

“Look, mister anti-capitalist, you better not come home with the entire Valentine’s Day section of CVS for me.”

A fond smile fought at his lips directly as he made eye contact with a woman trying to enter the cafe. She smiled back nonetheless, eyebrow quirking slightly as he muttered an excuse me under his breath and sidestepped closer to the building.

“Glad to see you’re finally on my side…”

Yoongi bit the inside of his cheek. “...so no balloons?”

“No balloons.”

“Fine.”

He huffed, setting his sights on your apartment building in the distance once more, flowers and no balloons in tow. There was a dull ambiance on the line, mindless shuffling of whatever mundane actions you were completing around the house. It was a few chunks of sidewalk later when Yoongi was teasing softly, “Also, who said I was buying anything for you?”

You hummed, unaffected by Yoongi’s sudden words in your ear, taking his teasing in stride, “Years of experience.”

It was four years ago when he’d, wide eyed and with clammy palmed, fought a middle aged man with a loose tie and a sweaty neck for the last bouquet of flowers in the shop once filled with the very thing. He’d barely remembered it was Valentine’s Day, only truly remembering when Hoseok had leaned over his desk in their eleven o’clock marketing class and blatantly spoken through the professor’s lecture.

“So, what’d you get your lady?”

Yoongi had briefly thought he’d forgotten your birthday and then remembered no, I can’t have and then thought we’ve only been dating for five months, that’s a forgivable offense, right? No, it’s not idiot all in the span of three rapid blinks and the time it took for an outraged expression to fit Hoseok’s features.

“Why would I have—”

“It’s Valentine’s Day, dumbass.”

He barely flinched at Hoseok’s empty accusations and suddenly the box of chocolates and tipped vase of roses abandoned outside his neighbor’s door in his apartment complex made sense.

“So?,” Yoongi scribbled half a bullet point onto his notebook before the powerpoint shifted slides, “Capitalist holiday.”

Hoseok groaned so loud that their professor paused and glared. “Calm down, you can really buy her flowers or something. It won’t hurt your quest to burn the system to the ground.”

Your sweet smile when he’d brought you coffee to the library flashed behind his eyelids when he blinked and the tenderness of the kiss you’d pressed to his lips tingled on his mouth.  

“It’s still dumb…” He mumbled back.

“Yoongi. Buy her flowers.”

Maybe it was the stress of spending the entirety of the cash in his wallet or having the evade the angry chatter of a stressed businessman into his bluetooth headset for a bouquet four times the size of what he planned to buy but it happened nonetheless.

He told you he loved you that night, unintentionally and on the phone two seconds before he was going to knock on your apartment door after calling you to tell you he was coming to see you.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Ask the life sized bear I found you asleep on last weekend while you were supposed to be helping me remake the bed.”

It was three years ago when he’d dragged a brown bear nearly as tall as him out of the grocery store, downsizing the flower bouquet to a single white rose with a pretty red ribbon tied around it. He’d nearly crushed the petals underneath under the toe of his boot when he dropped the flower in the parking lot in an attempt to open the trunk of his car. He’d tossed the flower to the passenger seat instead before completing the remorseful task of smashing the bear’s smiling face into the desolate corner of his trunk.

Yoongi felt guilty the entire week, particularly when he pried the oversized plush toy from his car and had to stare at it’s frumpled muzzle and ears until it was safely squashed in your delighted arms. It was still slightly lopsided in your embrace and seemed to accuse him for it, stitched eyes following his track around your shoulder to envelop your waist.

“It hates me,” He told you a week later when you’d finally dragged it out of the living room to your bedroom, placing it in the tiny chair that occupied the far corner.

You passed his figure with your keys in hand, placing a hand on his forearms crossed tightly over his chest as he considered the giant stuffed animal with thinned eyes. He didn’t flinch, even when your lips touched his cheek.

“I would too if you shoved me in a trunk for a week.”

The tautness in Yoongi’s shoulders melted then, turning to you with wide, innocent eyes. His trilled whine followed your figure out into the hallway, lips pink and pouted and exaggerated.

“Angel! You’re not supposed to side with the bear!”

He’d decided it no longer hated him just a week ago, the bear having traveled from your apartment to your shared apartment where it had it’s own special spot. 

I refuse to stuff him in a closet and you frowned at Yoongi for even suggesting it.

You’d pelted a fresh out of the dryer blanket at him and ordered him to fold it while you redid the sheets on the mattress. The bear’s muzzle wasn’t quite as lopsided and it’s eyes seemed to invite him to lay down on it (even if it knew he was you taking an extra shift away from a stint in the closet), particularly with the warmth of the blanket you’d just provided him with wrapped around his shoulders.

The picture you snapped had spent intervals as your lock screen, no matter how many times Yoongi changed it while you were asleep on his chest.

“It doesn’t hate me anymore,” Yoongi defended miserably and he could feel the heat scratch at the back of his neck underneath his scarf.

“Don’t worry, my tooth has forgiven you, too.”

It was two years ago when he’d ditched flowers all together for something edible, a bouquet of fruit and chocolate paired with a bottle of wine jostling in his grasp as he took the stairs of your building two at a time. The grocery store had been as busy as he’d expected it to be and his irritation with high schoolers clutching their mom’s credit cards and frazzled nine to five fathers growing by the second.

He wanted to be more annoyed than he was but then realized remorsefully that he was apart of the cycle, no matter if he tried to justify the gift in his arms as a tasty snack for after dinner, something he had planned to buy you after the holiday on discount and just happened to be passing through, something he would have had sent to your office in July.

Yoongi was no different than the man tapping his foot loudly behind him in line, his bluetooth headset dangling off his right ear as he crumbled a cheap set of dying roses in a meaty hand and Yoongi nearly panicked that the man had came back to haunt him for stealing a much larger set of vegetation years prior.

But none of that mattered, not the money he forked into that gathered by products designed specifically for the worst day of the year and not the near forty-five minutes he spent under sickly white lights with melting fruit in his arms. None of it mattered when you draped your legs around his waist and plucked a piece of the chocolate in the pinch of your fingers to brush it over his mouth.

Half of your bottom lip was hidden in your teeth, eyes gleaming as they glazed over the treat touching his skin to the bemused, half lidded laze of his stare.

“Open up.”

You spent the entire evening feeding each other cubes of fruit and balls of chocolate in between languid kisses that tasted of the sweets on your tongue. You woke up the next morning with a satisfied tingle encompassing your entire being, only to leave a dentist appointment the week after with a similar numbness in the core of your molars on your bottom jaw.

“You did not get a cavity because of that,” Yoongi told you, pressing a gentle kiss to your swollen cheek while handing you your bowl of instant mashed potatoes.

“I did and it’s your fault,” You muffled back, tongue clinging to the last bit of numbness on that side of your mouth.

He just sighed, long fingers brushing yours aside to take the spoon and jab a mouthful of the creamy substance against the seam of your lips, “Alright, love. All my fault. No more chocolate. Now, c’mon. Eat.”

“Still wasn’t my fault.”

The noise you made was uninterested, “What about my earrings? I have those in today, by the way.”

It was a year ago when he’d forced Namjoon to a jewelry store in the mall, his tall friend full body panicking when Yoongi hesitated at the engagement rings.

“Yeah?” Namjoon said simply as if he hadn’t just stared at the back of Yoongi’s head like he’d grown a third hand from the nape of his neck.

Yoongi hummed from above the earrings, acknowledging the employee who flanked him from beyond the counter with a gentle smile. He glanced at Namjoon from the corner of his eye, chin shaking curtly.

“Not this year.”

You’d cried when he placed the tiny box in your lap, his thumbs preoccupied with trying to collect each droplet that rolled down the contour of your nose while you gaped openly at the tiny karat’s pinched through cardboard.

Through blubbered tears generated from the overwhelming love engulfing you from Yoongi’s entire being, you accused, “These, this, is against like everything I’ve ever heard you say about this dumb holiday.”

“Doesn’t count,” He told you, brushing your hair behind your ear to frame his lips over it, “I didn’t buy these today.”

You just laughed and met Yoongi’s gaze with watery eyes, gripping the jewelry tighter in your grasp as you leaned in for a chaste kiss.

“I would have taken another cavity, you know. Or another, hopefully smaller, bear friend. Or flowers…” You kissed him again, speaking against the smile that bobbled on his lips, “Or just you.”

His fingers framed yours, prying the earrings out of your grasp to begin plucking the jewelry from their carefully positioned placements.

“Want me to put them in for you, pretty girl?”

“Good, they were expensive.”

“There he is,” You murmured fondly, “The realistic boyfriend I know and love.”

“They were expensive but—” Yoongi paused, checking over his shoulder at the traffic before taking long strides through the crosswalk, petals of blue and yellow and pink and purple fanning out behind him from the breeze, “—you’re always worth it. I would have just given them to you for Christmas, anyway. Or your birthday. Or international donut day.”

He wasn’t lying. He’d given you a birthstone necklace on Christmas, a journal filled with poetic professions on your birthday, a delivery of two dozen roses to your office on a day that was probably national sausage and mushroom pizza day in some part of the world.

His heart squeezed at your heartfelt laughter directed unabashedly toward his terrible attempt at humor.

“Didn’t know we bought gifts for international donut day that weren’t donuts.”

“You know I love you, right?” His fingers twisted for his pocket again, phone balanced between his shoulder and ear as a diving index finger make contact with the buried object once more. His steps picked up when he located it, shifting everything back to a normal grasp in his juggling limbs.

Your laughter subsided with the background noise and he could picture you, hip against the kitchen counter, arm wrapped around your middle, abandoning the half washed dishes or the half cooked dinner or your half typed email for work the following day.

“Yes.”

Yoongi squinted at the tower of your building over his head, the structure appearing far too quickly for his liking, the very specific smell of the lobby puking all his worries back up from their tightly balled location in the pit of his stomach. His nerve endings felt like they were on fire, his throat dry, hands numb where he crushed the stems and, accidentally, the volume button on his phone.

“Do you know how much I love you?” He corrected, swallowing in time with the elevator clicking over from where he’d nudged the button with his hip. “I’m not sure you do because it’s so much that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to properly express it to you. I don’t even know how much I love you. I can’t count that high.”

You were giggling again, softer this time, “Well if you don’t know, how am I supposed to know?”

He couldn’t even be bothered by the bitter taste of one of the flowers that swiped across his mouth when he shifted them in his grasp, the unabashed stretch of his smile giddy and genuine and permanent. His heart swelled like the creation of a balloon and he was half convinced the hammering organ sounding off in uneven beats had grown to the same size as the balloon he’d nearly tied around his wrist for you like a child at their first carnival.

“This just gives me an excuse to spoil you, so you don’t hide my credit card again,” Yoongi didn’t register he’d stepped into the elevator until it was stopping on the second floor to pick up another resident. His legs were numb underneath him, knee caps twitching as he pressed his shoulder blades into the wall and hushed into the receiver, “I love you all the time, not just—”

“—February fucking fourteenth,” You finished, “Yeah, a wise man once told me that just a few years ago.”

The other occupant of the elevator, a man drenched in sweat and carrying a towel, cast him a sideways glance as he stepped out on the fourth floor, amusement on the cock of his eyebrows as he disappeared around the closing doors. Yoongi took that opportunity to reveal the smile he’d been trying to suppress, jamming his index finger into the button of your floor again.

“I love you.”

“Yeah, the wise man said that too,” You mused, “You’re the wise man.”

“I’ll remember you said that.”

“Hush, are you ever going to come home?”

Yoongi stepped off the elevator, numbly albeit, “Almost there—”

“—because I’m almost positive you’re blushing and I’m not with you to kiss it away. Or make it worse, depending on how you’re feeling.”

He acknowledged the heat encompassing his entire being as partial embarrassment rather than anticipation, noticing the cool press of the glass screen of his phone against his cheek with irritated realization.

“I am not,” He denied anyway.

“Seriously, are you on your way home? I want my not gift that you definitely didn’t buy me.”

Yoongi’s cheeks hurt by the time he was centered in front of your door, the crushing, assuring wheeze of his heart that repeatedly told him you’re in love, you’re in love, you’re stupidly in love! almost outweighing the fear that rested just at the forefront of his conscious.

“Yes, just a second...” He jammed the flowers underneath his arm, fishing properly for the small velvet box resting within his knit glove.

The weight of the ring seemed to match that seizing at the stuttered beats in his heart as he knelt to the carpet floor. His phone slipped, barely, as he sought out the flowers, balancing the spread carefully on the edge of his knee so that the palette of sunshine hues covered the cradle of his free palm and the threatening dam of adoration spilling out of every, gleaming inch of his smile.

“Actually, I forgot my key,” Yoongi couldn’t care less if the waver in his tone gave something away, more focused on not dropping the ring, choking on a leaf, puking, and passing out all in the same instance. “I’m outside. Can you come open the door for me?”

He gathered that you must have been in the threshold with the speed in which the door opened but even though he was consciously aware that it was seconds between his request and you completing it, it felt like it took you hours to find him crouched on the floor in front of your apartment door.

“For someone who hates this day, you sure pick out the prettiest flowers,” You were giggling. The softness of your fingertips brushed against his, coaxing his ironclad grip off the stems. “Why are you on the floor? Did you drop—”

He held the ring with both hands now, cradling it on the end of his knee, cheeks tinted the prettiest of pinks, eyes wide and curious in the way his eyebrows framed them.

Everything Yoongi had ever etched to the journal he’d gifted you for your birthday or mumbled against your temple in the earliest hours of the morning evaded him in that moment, the speech that had obsessively trained the roll of his tongue, all that he loved and adored about you blanking. Instead, he laughed, tentative and easy.

“Hi, angel, how was your day?” Yoongi’s phone fell to the floor as he tilted his head the opposite direction, the shyest expanse of his teeth peeking out from his lips, “Oh, yeah, and will you, uh,  marry me? 

The flowers, already ruined from the flexing crush of his hands and arms and entire nervous being, were cast aside in favor of you dropping to his level, bringing your hands to cup his jaw.

“You’re serious?” Your forehead pressed against his, wet tears already streaking your cheeks, “You’re asking today?”

“Just another day to love you,” Yoongi croaked, the nerves invading his vocal cords now too.

“This is really against everything I’ve ever heard you say about this holiday.”

“Doesn’t count,” He reiterated, argued, one hand leaving the ring to wrap around your hip, “I didn’t buy it today. Nor did I get the idea to ask today.”

You kissed him to silence any further excuses for him indulging fully in the day of pastel pink hearts and the ultimate consumer mindset, sliding your hands around his shoulders as you fit between the part of his singular, bent knee.

He tapped your side with the box in hand, “So, is that a yes?”

“Depends,” You grinned, “Who are the flowers for?”

Yoongi whined. He whined, pursed lips and eyes that wandered over your head and curt but flailing movements of his head and shoulders and hands, voice trilling upward an octave on the end of the last set of syllables.

“Do you want to marry me or not?”

“Is something wrong?”

You hadn’t heard your neighbor open her door until she was standing in the hallway, confusion tangled somewhere in amusement at the sight before her.

The jewelry missed your ring finger, flopping onto your middle finger instead as Yoongi pocketed the tiny box and hauled you up with him by two arms curled around your waist. He pressed his cheek against your forehead, subtly nudging at your feet to move you into the apartment.

“Everything is great,” He told her, dimples pressing into his cheeks, “Sorry for the trouble.”

She disappeared like Yoongi’s flushed features did into the crook of your neck, lips pressing repeatedly into the same spot on the juncture of your shoulder as he moved you backward and shut the door softly behind your figures.  

“Yes, Yoongi,” You murmured, “I want nothing more than to marry you.”

[sharpnothashtag]

The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 25

In the corridor waiting for the shuttles to take them to Earth, B’Elanna runs to Naomi and Captain Picard.

Naomi: Ms. Torres!  I’m glad I get to see you before I go. (goes in for a hug, B’Elanna stops her) B’Elanna: Naomi, where are you going to go? Picard: (arm around Naomi) We’re going to be with my brother for a while in La Barre.   Naomi: My father is coming to visit us soon!  Then we’re starting a camp for the Borg children. Picard: My brother acquired the land next to our family’s land.  I’ll be living there, and Naomi has said she wants to stay with me. B’Elanna: Naomi...your mom wanted me to make sure you were okay. Naomi: And I am okay. B’Elanna: But what if something happens to you?  What if you hurt yourself way out there in the country? Picard: There is a stable hospital near the plot of land.  What I can’t fix at home with a medi-kit can be taken care of there. B’Elanna: (angry, fighting tears) I promised Samantha I would take care of her. Naomi: Just like she promised me. B’Elanna: ...just like who promised you? Naomi: My mom.  She told me that no matter what, she would always be there to protect me.  Ms. Torres, she is here (pointing to her heart) with me--she knows where I am, and that I’m okay. B’Elanna: (getting on her level, tears in her eyes) You need to come with me. Naomi: Ms. Torres, I will come visit you.  But I am going with Captain Picard.   Picard: I don’t know what you have been through, B’Elanna.  I can’t deny that having Samantha in your arms when she died was anything but easy, but Naomi is safe.  You are always welcome in my home.  I will guard Naomi with my life.   Naomi: And I will guard the Captain with mine. (B’Elanna looks at Tom desperately.) Tom: Captain, we will be with you soon after we spend time with my father.  Picard: You will always be welcome in my home.  (holding out his hand) Naomi? Naomi: (smiling at B’Elanna and Tom) Je vous aime. Picard: (smiling warmly) Very good, Naomi!  You’re catching on quickly.

Picard and Naomi board the shuttle.  As the door closes, Naomi waves.  B’Elanna defeated/angry cries into Tom’s chest.  

Tom: B’Elanna, we will be there with her after we spend time with my father.  I promise you, as surely as Harry constantly picks the exact wrong women to be with (B’Elanna snickers through her tears), we will be with Naomi in a week. (tilts up B’Elanna’s head, kisses her.) We have to go to our shuttle now. 

Tom and B’Elanna turn to walk toward their shuttle.  As they arrive at the docking port, Harry looks relieved.

Harry: (suggestively) You two were gone a long while. B’Elanna: Harry, you’re one of our best friends, so I’m not going to rip your throat out with my teeth for saying that.  This time. Harry: Point taken.  Tom, here comes your dad. AP: We’ve been cleared for takeoff! Harry: (aside to Tom) “Cleared for takeoff?” Tom: (aside to Harry)  You know how basically everything I say is some 20th century Earth reference?  (Harry nods.) He’s definitely where I got that from.  20th century pilots had to be cleared through an air traffic control tower before commencing their flight.  Dad’s just saying we’re ready to go.

AP, Tom, B’Elanna, and Harry board the shuttle, which heads to Earth.  We switch to Bev’s perspective, as she walks to a surgical theater scrubbing and robing room.  As Data helps her robe up, Seven enters, silently nods, and robes up as well.  We see several starfleet doctors take their seats in the theater portion, and the camera pans down to Voyager’s EMH.

EMH: Welcome, Doctors, to the first surgical operating theatre experience on the docket for this larger scale Borg Symposium. I will be in charge of the communication portion of this session.  Performing this surgery will be the Medical Tsarina, Dr. Beverly Crusher, assisted by Seven of Nine, former borg drone, and Starfleet’s darling, Data.  (light, scattered applause from audience as Bev, Seven, and Data walk out.  Data, slightly surprised by the applause, bows.  Bev takes him by the arm, shaking her head, as if to say, “Wrong kind of theatre.”) The drone is Erin Hansen, who lead the Borg after the mysterious disease took hold and they were no longer able to think as one.   Bev: We’ll be beginning in between her ribs in her intercostal muscles.  We are hoping to find some leeway here that will allow us to gain access to what was once organic lung tissue.   EMH: Once they gain access to the lungs, Seven of Nine will reprogram the cortical node to recognize the lungs as air support.  From there, they will access facial muscles, autonomic nerve endings throughout the body, and finally, the heart.  The trick to this surgery is to get the cortical node to recognize the body as its master and restore the natural reflexes of the original individual. Data: As I am the one who has assisted Dr. Crusher in her surgeries most recently and the only non-biological life-form currently in a state to do so, I was the most logical choice to assist in this series of surgeries.   EMH: Seven of Nine will be instructing the nurses and surgical assistants in Borg code so the process of reprogramming the cortical nodes will go smoothly.  We will begin taking questions now.

We cut to DeAnna in a circle of chairs.  All the beings in the circle have their eyes closed.  An unknown Ullian (Inez) is speaking.

Inez: Now that you have found the place in your past where you feel trapped, picture where you went to leave that place.  DeAnna, look for your escape. DeAnna: A door.  The door was locked, but I took a running start and managed to break it so I could leave. Inez: That was quite a feat.  Did you hurt anyone in the process? DeAnna: (chuckles slightly) My mother wasn’t very happy, but--(winces sharply) Inez: What is it, DeAnna? DeAnna: Me.  I hurt me.  Getting out hurt me, and I the pain of my arm drove me to seek help. Inez: (smiling, nodding her head) Very good, DeAnna.  You may all open your eyes now.  Don’t try to get up--the effects of memory meditation sharing can be quite dizzying. DeAnna: Thank you so much for your help, Inez.  I usually approach these things a bit differently, but I wanted to let all of you see what your patients will more than likely be feeling as you help them through their trauma.  I wanted you to see them as you would any other patient.  I wanted you to see them as a person, not the enemy.  

A Klingon woman, Biquv, nods her head.

DeAnna: The first step in helping a trauma affected individual is to understand that some will not see themselves as such.  The fear may be there, but they may not understand at first that the person they might have hurt the most was themselves.  Some may have resisted the transformation.  Some may have been assimilated to try to buy time for their families to get away.  Some may feel none of those things. Biquv: What you are saying is everyone handles trauma differently. DeAnna: Exactly.  And it is our job to help them adapt to their new lives.  I used my own example of an abusive relationship and only being able to get out of it by literally breaking down the door of the closet he locked me in because something in our clients has broken to get them to come to us.  Whether it be their relationship with their families, their sense of order, their outlook on life’s purpose--it has been broken by their escape. Our job is not to fix it, but to help them understand how to fix it and give them the tools to make the fixing possible.

A Ktaran man, Greskrendtregk, timidly raises his hand.  DeAnna nods, smiling.

Greskrendtregk: What is the time frame we are expecting for this?  Doesn’t trauma therapy take an inordinate amount of time? DeAnna: Starfleet is aware that this is a very long term goal to rehabilitate the Borg.  There will be a significant number of ships redirected to serve the mission of getting the Borg to Mission Central on Mars Colony.  There is no time table on grief, Gres.  Unfortunately, we just have to commit to be there for as long as it takes. Greskrendtregk: Thank you, Counselor. DeAnna: Please study chapter one in your books this evening.  Our sessions begin at 0800.  Dismissed.

The counselors from the circle smile warmly at DeAnna, thanking her silently, and then retire to their quarters.   Greskrendtregk stays behind.

Greskrendtregk: Counselor, may I have a word? DeAnna: Yes, of course, Gres.  Thank you for allowing me to shorten your name--Ktaran names often trouble me for some reason. Greskrendtregk: There is no problem, Counselor.  Truth be told, my own grandfather had a bit of trouble with my name as well.  I only know one human who has ever been able to say it correctly, and I married her.  (chuckling) DeAnna: (chuckling) That’s one way to find a spouse!  What can I help you with? Greskrendtregk: I heard that my wife’s Captain had come aboard your ship with some of her crew members.  (choking up) I know Samantha wasn’t among them, but-- DeAnna: Samantha? Greskrendtregk: Yes, Samantha. DeAnna: Are you...Naomi’s father? Greskrendtregk: (teary-eyed smile) Yes, I am.  I got to speak with her yesterday.  She sounds so much like her mother.  I wanted to request this weekend off of classes to go meet her.  I know we are supposed to stay for the full 8 weeks-- DeAnna: Of course you can go meet her.  She is staying in La Barre, France with Captain Picard.  She is a very special little lady. Greskrendtregk: (tears streaming) Thank you, Counselor. DeAnna: (Grabbing his hand in support) Please call me DeAnna. (Greskrendtregk bows in respect, tears still streaming down his face.  He turns and retires to his quarters.)

[innerpostmentality]

Breakfast at Tevis

Four thousand years ago gods and magic shaped and ruled and were plentiful in the world. Man and all the creatures were shaped and marked by it. Then things began to change. Gradually those things of magic diminished and the things of science took precedence until magic became a myth tucked away safely in children’s fairy tales and skilled entertainer’s parlor tricks. It’s been a thousand years of progress unmarked by true magic.  …………………….. Things are about to change.

This fic is part of a collaborative AU created by my talented friends @tornbetween2loves @kennaxval and myself. This part was written 50/50 by myself and @tornbetween2loves. Special thanks to @tornbetween2loves for the gorgeous mood board for Crown Prince Aeneas and the beautiful Sarissa   Disclaimer: all original TRR characters and references belong to Pixelberry, however we are claiming their beautiful children as our own creations. Please see the Series Master List here: Arcana Unbound Series Masterlist Pairing feature: Aeneas X Sarissa Word count: 4300 + Warnings: mild angst, erotica  Tags: @darley1101 @gardeningourmet @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @bobasheebaby @carabeth @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat @riseandshinelittleblossom @stopforamoment @teamtomsato @furiousherringoperatortoad @indiacater @sirbeepsalot @alesana45 @strangerofbraidwood @museofbooks @furryperfectionlover @ao719 @blackcatkita

  Aeneas led Sarissa out to the limo and Evan opened the door for them. He climbed into the car and held his hand out for her to help her in.  "I was not sure you would join me this morning. And I do apologize for the early morning. I wanted to be certain I spoke to your father before there was any news of us."   The ride to Tevi's was short this early in the morning. Tevi's had expanded over the years since Liam and Hyclea had first gone to breakfast there. When Hyclea gave them the Queen's seal, a personal endorsement, their business doubled then doubled again. But the quality was always maintained in their food. And at least once a month the royals would come visit.   "Sarissa," He kept her hand and was stroking gentle circles around her knuckles with his thumb. "It is early so I do not think any press will be there when we arrive. But it is a possibility when we leave. Have you considered what you want to tell them?"   Sarissa’s brow furrowed as she thought about Aeneas’ question. “Honestly I hadn’t thought about it much.” She squeezed his hand and looked at him sheepishly. The press never really paid much attention to her, they would bypass her and swarm her brother. “Do you have some pointers for me? Maybe I could just follow your lead.” She looked away, suddenly nervous. She knew that she would be in the spotlight being courted by the crown prince. This would take some getting used too. She was trained to fade into the background, be unnoticeable.  She looked up into his violet eyes and knew he was worth the nervousness and any awkwardness she might feel being in the spotlight. She smiled at him warmly. “Can’t we just tell them the truth?”   Aeneas looked pained as he held her gaze. His voice was that deep, soothing velvet that was almost mesmerizing. "If this Social Season were only about me I would call a press conference and tell them how completely remarkable and enchanting you are. But Social Seasons.." he sighed before he continued "Social seasons garner support for the crown from the nobility and the public. It is like a lottery where every person feels like they might win. I," he shook his head, "I have to be perceived, initially at least, to be fair. And that is so contrary to what I feel."   “I understand.” She looked deep into his eyes. “So once the social season starts you will be spending equal amounts of time with all the women who participate.” She broke their gaze and looked down as hot tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Her voice was soft and filled with uncertainty. “What if you find you like one of them better than me?”   "No." Aeneas lifted her chin. "Look at me Sarissa." His voice was serious and he waited until she met his gaze. "Listen to me. I need you to hear me not only here." He touched her head gently. "I need you to hear me here." He touched the center of her chest over her heart.   "This is exactly what I was trying to tell you last night when I told you that my brother was the better catch." He shook his head and looked in her eyes then gently turned her head so she could look out the window as he pointed at all the traffic and people. He shifted so that he was right behind her and she could feel the warmth of his body as he spoke gently in her ear. "There are billions of people in the world. Millions in our country that I must think of. That I must care about. That I must try to take care of. And if you chose to sit beside me it means that you will have to share me and I will have to share you. Even beyond the social season we will have to watch each other dance with others and share intimate conversations with others. We will be apart negotiating alliances, trade deals, attending summits." He turned her slightly and gently stroked her jaw as he urged her to face him again, his features held a deep longing hopefulness. "But in the midst of all that, at the end of all that, I want to believe, I need you to believe in this."  Aeneas brought his mouth to hers. His fingers trembled as he threaded them into the silkiness of her glorious hair. Passion like he'd never known unfurled in him and he was vaguely aware as he groaned his need for her. He was completely torn between his rational side that knew he needed to stop and recover his composure, and the imperative of his emotions that drove his body to passion.   Sarissa was overcome as she felt her own emotions and passion rise to meet his. She could feel how desperately he wanted her, no, needed her and any small shred of doubt she had was gone. This was exactly what she wanted. Her whole life had been preparation for this moment and gave her strength. She was meant to be his queen. She just knew it. And she would jump through whatever hoops necessary to get there.   He released his grip on her hair and tried to pull away from her but she kept her lips on his as she grasped his hand and pressed it to her chest, covering her heart. After lingering a few moments longer in their passion, she pulled back, breathless. Their lust-blown eyes locked together as Sarissa cupped his face in her hands. “I hear you, Aeneas. I know what it means to be with you. To love you.” She brought her face close to his again. “You’re worth it. You’re so worth all of it.” She kissed him again gently, deepening the kiss as she stroked his cheek.   He was shaking his eyes closed when he broke the kiss finally. He pressed his forehead to hers. "Sarissa.. oh God..." He let her go and leaned over. "Give me a minute. We are going to be at Tevi's in a few minutes and I cannot get out of the car like this." He struggled as he tried to control his breathing and calm himself. He chuckled and turned his head to look sideways at her. "You are dangerous."   Sarissa scooted over a few inches on the seat to give him some space as she smiled at him innocently. “Dangerous? Me?” She winked at him playfully.   He reached out and grabbed her hand and held it as he closed his eyes and just breathed slowly. "Have you been to Tevi's before?"   She nodded. “Sure. They have great coffee.” She squeezed his hand gently. “Are you ok?”   "Well this is not exactly how I pictured this morning. And it amuses me on some not completely mortified level.  You are so beautiful. Do you know that?"   Sarissa blushed and smiled at him shyly. “Thank you. You make me feel so wonderful. Everything you say to me makes me feel like I’m the most special girl in the world.” She looked up into his eyes, her cheeks still flushed. “So what will we tell the press today? Because I fear that they may take one look at us and know what we are feeling.”   He smiled at her the violet of his gaze intense. "You are. I need you to remember that through all of this."   He chuckled. "The press will always speculate. But if we are pressed I shall tell them that we are planning a surprise party. That should calm them a little."   The limo pulled up in front of Tevi's and stopped. They waited a few minutes while security confirmed everything was ready for them. Evan opened the door and allowed Sarissa to exit the limo a moment later Aeneas exited the car. He stepped out and smoothed his jacket and offered her his arm.   They were escorted into the courtyard dining area and to a table situated next to a beautiful Jacaranda tree. Aeneas pulled her chair out for her before he sat down across from her. The waiter handed them menus and asked them what they would like to drink. Aeneas smiled at her. "I requested this table. It's rather special to my family. It was where my parents had their first official sort of 'date'. That was back in prehistory. And the walls were built to keep the larger dinosaurs out."  “How lovely. You’re such a romantic.” She smiled. “This is utterly charming. Having our first date in the exact spot where your parents had theirs.” She giggled. “Good thing we don’t have to worry about those dinosaurs anymore.”   Aeneas got lost in her eyes for a moment. He blushed. "Yesterday I would not have thought that I was a romantic. I was pretty methodical studying the files." He frowns. "Was I mistaken thinking that you had a class this morning? I was surprised when your dad said 7:30."   Sarissa’s face reddened as she dropped her eyes to the floor. “Yes, I was supposed to be in class at 8. But I wasn’t planning on going, even before you showed up.” She looked up into his eyes curiously. “Do you have a file on me Aeneas?”  "Of course. Sarissa, you wanted to be a royal guard." He shook his head and chuckled. "And when I asked for files on the ladies attending the season they were thorough. I have files on Calais and my mother. I have no idea how that happened."   She smiled at him, her eyes sparkled. “Well you can officially move my file from the ‘royal guard’ pile to the ‘attending social season’ pile.” She giggled. “So what kind of stuff is in my file? Do you find that it’s accurate? Will I be able to have any secrets from you?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Or maybe you should just throw that file in the trash and see what impression I can make on you?”   Aeneas started to speak but then the waiter came back with their drinks and asked them about their breakfast preferences. He ordered them a basket of assorted pastries, pieces of cheese pie, and a sliced fruit plate.   "I hope you do not mind me ordering for both of us?"   He looked thoughtful for a moment as he thought about the contents of her file. "You are described as a dedicated student with excellent skills. You are a senior with emphasis on security, infiltration and threat analysis. You excel in your physical combat courses. You are 21, two months younger than me. Red hair. Gray eyes. 5'7". Daughter of Bastien Lykel and Olivia Nevrakis-Lykel Duke and Duchess of Lythikos, second child of the couple." He grinned.   "It is woefully inadequate. Tells me nothing about which side of the bed you sleep on. Whether you snore. Does not tell me if you prefer the orange walnut sticky rolls or the chocolate eclairs. It's basically useless."   Sarissa giggled as she took a sip of her coffee. “Interesting. Well, I prefer to sleep on the right side and I will always choose the eclairs. As far as the snoring goes....” Her eyes danced as she gave him a sultry look. “...you’ll have to wait to discover that for yourself.”    “Would it surprise you to learn that I also have a file on you? And Calais? And Leo? And your parents?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “And I’ll bet my files are a lot more detailed and informative than yours.”   She smiled as she thought of her father teaching her to remember details about those she wished to protect. Not just the public knowledge details, but personal details. Observations. Even her mother had encouraged the idea. She had figured that the files would come in handy if she ever chose to take a different path and attend social season.   He grinned at her wide enough to show his dimple as he selected a cardamom cream horn and shook his head. "I know who your parents are so it does not really surprise me. But I am curious since you have been studying me. Is there anything that surprises you about me?"  Sarissa tilted her head to one side as she reached for a pastry. She contemplated his question for a moment as she took a bite. She smiled at him brightly. “To be honest, everything about you surprises me Aeneas. From a fairly young age my dad taught me to maintain a certain distance from you. Not a physical distance, a personal one. He said it was important for me to maintain a professional relationship with those I aspire to protect.” She smiled as she licked a bit of frosting off the tip of her thumb. “So even though I was aware of certain personal details about you, I’m finding you to be nothing like I imagined. You are so kind, passionate and protective. I feel so safe around you. And not just because of your guard detail.”  Cream filling clung to his upper lip as he continued to smile at her. "I am glad you feel safe with me. I shall always do my very best to keep your faith in me, Sarissa."   He sipped his coffee and the cream filling disappeared. He looked thoughtfully at her for a long moment. "How many more classes do you have to finish your degree? I know you are a senior but I also know people who have the credits to be a senior but have changed majors so are not so close to graduating." He laughed and shook his head. "Then there is my sister and brother. They are just set upon making me feel like the slow child."   Sarissa giggled. “You, the slow child? I find that hard to believe.” She smiled as she sipped her coffee. “I have never changed my major, I have always known what I wanted to study and who I wanted to be. So I will be graduating after this semester.” Her eyes sparkled as she gazed at him. “I plan to finish my coursework online for the remainder of the semester.”   He nodded as he took another bite of the cream horn. "Sarissa I know you were really upset with Calais and Xiphos last night. I was too. Then I realized what happened with me. I do not think either of them were really keeping something from us. I mean I do not believe they were really together before yesterday."   Sarissa nodded in agreement. “I didn’t understand how they could feel so strongly for one another in such a short time.” She locked her eyes on his violet pools and her voice was deep and sultry when she spoke. “But I do now.”  His eyes flashed and then he sipped his coffee and took a bite of his cheese pie.   "Yes...."  He studied her intently for a moment. "Anyway, Calais was pretty upset about upsetting you. And Sarissa, I think they are... very serious. I hope that doesn't upset you."   Sarissa took another bite of her pastry, then washed it down with coffee. She nodded in response. “I’m not upset that they’re serious.” Her eyes narrowed. “I’m upset because your sister has had this crush on my brother for months, maybe even years, and she never told me.” She sighed and looked down at her cheese pie as she picked at it with her fork. “I guess my feelings are just hurt. I thought we were best friends. But Calais kept this huge secret from me.” Her voice was shaky as tears welled in her eyes.   Aeneas looked sympathetic as Sarissa got emotional. "I wish we were private. When you are upset all I want to do is hold you and somehow make it better. Sarissa.." His voice was soft and soothing, "Calais does consider you her best friend. She is..." His expression got pained and serious. "When she came back from school to work on her doctorate sculptures here she was much more closed off.”  “Has she talked with you about what happened?"   Sarissa avoided eye contact as she shook her head. “No. I always knew something was different. She came back changed.” She took a deep, shaky breath and exhaled slowly as she wiped a tear from her cheek and looked him in the eye. Her expression pained, she smiled at him sadly. “Another secret she’s keeping from me.”  He extended his leg under the table and pressed it gently against hers. He looked in her eyes, his were full of sympathy. "Not just you Sarissa. She hasn't told me what happened either."   Her head snapped up as a shocked look crossed her face. “She didn’t tell you? But..... she tells you everything.” She looked away, suddenly feeling very ashamed. Here her best friend had gone through something so traumatic she couldn’t talk to anyone about it. And all Sarissa could do was be angry at her for finding happiness with her brother. She buried her face in her hands. After a long moment she raised her head to look at Aeneas with remorse. “I’ve been acting like a selfish brat. I’m so sorry.” She shook her head. “May I ride back to the palace with you after breakfast? I’d like to speak with Calais.”   He nodded and handed her his handkerchief. "She did not tell me about her feelings for your brother either. I do not know what happened. But I know she was hurt badly by someone."   Sarissa nodded as she dabbed the corners of her eyes with the handkerchief. After taking a moment to compose herself she cleared her throat and smiled at him. “Enough sadness. This is supposed to be our charming, romantic first date.” She winked at him with a smile. “So what are your plans today Aeneas?”   He lifted a brow at her and smirked. "I have a couple of meetings after my cold shower. Then I am heading to the children's hospital to take some stuffed lions to the children. I have a fitting. Then another meeting with father and the Italian ambassador about an upcoming trip. Then I expect to fall over from sleep deprivation and dream of you." He smiled and winked at her.  Sarrisa’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “Are you always this busy?” She rolled her eyes at herself. What a dumb question. Of course he was always this busy, he was the damn crown prince! She sighed and closed her eyes as her cheeks reddened. “I-I’m sorry. That was a pretty stupid question.” She smiled at him sheepishly.  He smiled. "We are a working monarchy. Father insists that we have regular contact with the people in addition to the state affairs. Most people still envision something more like sitting around on couches being fed peeled grapes I expect." He shook his head. "There are no bad questions Sarissa. You are welcome to ask me anything."  He called the waiter over and asked for a basket of pastries to take with them.  "For mom and dad." he explained. "Are you ready? I think we may have dodged the press if we leave now."  She nodded and drank the last of her coffee. “Thank you for breakfast. I have very much enjoyed your company, Aeneas.” She smiled at him again, her dark eyes sparkling.   Once they were back in the limo Aeneas looked at her shyly. "Sarissa, would you mind.. might I hold you?"   Sarissa beamed as she scooted close to him on the seat. “Of course.” She reached out and tentatively placed her hand on his knee, drawing small circles with her fingertips. She fought to keep her breathing steady as she felt his arms around her. Her stomach fluttered as their eyes locked together. Her voice was soft, barely a whisper. “Aeneas....will you kiss me again?”   He grinned. "I think you are plotting to keep me in the car."   She laughed and he kissed her. Gently he explored her mouth. He stroked her cheek then he moved to feather kisses along her jaw to her ear. He whispered hoarsely, "You are so beautiful." he gently nipped her earlobe and then kissed it, playing with it with his tongue.   Sarissa moaned softly as he nipped her ear, her hand slowly moved from his knee to his upper thigh as she kissed his neck. She smiled into the crook of his neck and whispered, “I could stay in this car with you like this all day.” She trailed kisses up to his ear and nibbled gently. “But then you’d have to cancel your meetings and your trip to the hospital, your fitting and your meeting with your father and the ambassador.” She pulled back breathless to look into his eyes, her eyes dark with lust. “And the cold shower would not be necessary.”   A groan was pulled from deep inside him. He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss into her palm. His eyes were blazing, luminescent violet rings around his lust blown pupils. His voice a deep velvet caress as he murmured, "If I expire from need you will have to explain to my parents and yours why they can't remove my smile."  She smiled and kissed his lips softly, speaking into the kiss, “I don’t mind explaining. I’ll even take all the blame.”   "Sarissa… I.." He closed his eyes as he struggled. Then opened them to look deeply into her eyes. "I told your father I would respect you. You have no idea how much I want you. But you deserve so much more than the back seat of a car." He pulled her tightly against him and kissed the top of her head. His whole body was tense and almost vibrated with his restraint.    Sarissa pouted as she snuggled against him. She could feel him tense next to her and she placed her hand on his thigh. She sighed deeply and said in a very serious tone, “You’re right. We wouldn’t want to piss dad off. Especially not before you find a milk producing yak.” She chuckled softly, her body shaking against his.   He held her tightly as he controlled his breathing by counting in his head. Dizzy with her scent and her softness and the feel of her in his arms. He laughed with her as he murmured in her hair. "I promise I will find that yak if it is the last thing I do."  "Hey... Thank you for talking with Calais. You really are her best friend. I think your brother and I made peace last night when he was leaving. Forgive him, Sarissa, do not carry hurt with you."   Sarissa nodded. “We’re all going to be okay aren’t we Aeneas?” She sat up straight and turned to look him in the eye.   He grinned. "Well yesterday I would not have been able to answer that question with any kind of conviction.” He kissed her knuckles still as he looked into her eyes. "When I look at you, when I hold you I can't help but believe that we all are going to wind up fine."   She smiled at him as she lightly stroked his cheek. “I feel the same way. It’s amazing the difference a day can make.”   Aeneas opened his arms to hold her while they were taken to the family entrance of the palace. He stroked her back. "I wish we could just spend the day together. I hope we will be able to manage that before the insanity of the season gets underway."   Sarissa kept her hand on his thigh, making circles with her index finger. “An entire day? That would be amazing.” She looked at him hopefully. “Can we try to make that happen? Pretty please?” She stuck her bottom lip out in a small pout and batted her eyes at him.   He chuckled and tugged gently on her bottom lip.. "Does that work with your dad?" He kissed her forehead. "You know I will try to make it happen."  She grinned widely at him. “Actually, it does work with dad. Well most of the time anyway. I’ve always been daddy’s little girl.” She turned to look deep in his violet eyes with a sultry gaze. She leaned close and kissed his lips softly. She pulled back after a moment. “Imagine what we could do with an entire day together.”   "My virtue feels imperiled." He couldn’t help himself. He knew he shouldn't but he stole another kiss before he signaled for the guards to let them out of the car. "I will talk with you later Beauty."   She climbed out of the limo, his taste still tingled on her lips. “Thank you for breakfast Aeneas. I had an absolutely wonderful time.”    He bowed over her hand, flipped it and kissed her wrist softly before he let her go.

[oldladydatin]

Oh you meant football, football!

Over a year ago now I received a message from a man that lead to a very epic purchase and one surprising night! This message started out much like any message I receive, it was flattering you’re beautiful, you’re intelligent, you’re sexy, I want to meet up with you. So began my relationship with Daddy Mc Hottie Pants, yes I really call him that and he knows. We chatted sort of alot for about a week. He told me he was quite large and he had trouble finding partners because of it, I ask how large and he sends me a picture. I just looked at it like pfft whatever, you couldn’t tell, there was no point of reference. I said yea it’s so big, he tells me it’s over 11 inches. I responded I don’t think I can handle that, that’s so big, he says I’ll take it slowly baby girl. But he stops talking to me for long periods of time, then randomly will start texting me again. During this time I’m in a very you matter, now you don’t relationship, with my ex Eric, so I’m really mistrusting of the sporadic attention, it’s too similar to me and I felt like I couldn’t take being hurt by someone else.

One night when Eric and I are barely speaking, I was horny and Daddy Mc hottie pants texts and I say hey you should come over I’m home alone. He replies “really?” He tells me he has friends over but he’ll try to get rid of them. We’ve been talking off and on for 6 months at this point and I hadn’t ever really made an attempt to meet him for coffee, dinner, sex or anything else because of the relationship with my ex Eric and because of him being sketchy. He was checking up on me more at this point because he knew I was hurting and I was going out alone drinking every Friday, he didn’t really like it and had become a bit protective of me. So I waited over an hour for him and nothing. I was invited to the bar to watch a techno band by someone I had hung out with before, so I got dressed up and decided to go out. I drove downtown to the club and there were a bunch of younger kids coming in and out of the club dressed like rainbow brite and I just decided this wasn’t my scene. I was horny and decided instead to drive to this huge adult store we have here and I found this massive dildo. This wasn’t necessarily a spontaneous purchase though, ever since this guy told me how large he was I was curious if I could even have sex with someone that large and I knew this store carried large dildos. Unlike my friends I was unable to have children naturally so no baby had ever passed through my vagina. Eric has been a bit obsessed with fisting and that hadn’t ever happened with me, although one of the other girls he had been with had posted a video of him trying to fist her, and it hadn’t happened with her either so I didn’t feel bad. So I just wondered could sex with Daddy Mc hottie pants even happen? Plus I was hurt and pissed off and my best friend said nothing bothers men more than the thought of a giant black dick, this was the next best thing, it didn’t bother him but? So I purchased this large black dildo, the “superstud”, it was 11 inches long, 8.5 inches from fake balls to tip and the lady at the store measured the girth at 8.5 inches, I also purchased lube because good lord. I take my giant black dick home and I am on a mission. I with lots of lube and playing with my vibrator and some wine I am able to do this and it hurt, oh dear god did it hurt. I had to take breaks. But it was also a really strange sensation, I hadn’t been with anyone that big around and it actually felt good, better than the length. After I’m done with this strange task I charged my self with accomplishing, Daddy Mc hottie pants texts, it’s 3 am, to say he got rid of his friends. By this time I definitely did not want more dick, I wanted a cigarette and stiff drink and I was a bit sore. So I decline, I say dude it’s 3 am? He says I know I’m sorry. This does not help me to be less suspicious of him.

Daddy Mc hottie pants and I continued. We didn’t talk, we did talk, we didn’t talk, we did talk, for a whole 5 more months. One day he messages me online and says I would still like to meet you. I kinda gave him shit about how I’m not the problem? Honestly at this point I liked him as a person, he’s a good guy, works with handicap people, coaches kids, is witty, and I genuinely would like to get to know him. Randomly I get a text from him that he’s feeling down, he’s going through some custody stuff and a break up and could use a hug, I said well I’d love to hug you. He asks what I’m doing and I replied I’m hanging with my kids and he asks to come over. I said well my kids are home, I never introduce my kids to men, but he says he’s fine with that and I think he’s really feeling down. So I said okay well come hang out with us. I tell my kids I’m having a friend over, I think they’d like him and he’s just feeling down so he didn’t want to be alone. He comes over and he was great with my kids, I made us dinner and I gave him his hug.  He started showing up all these crazy wounds. Like he broke his arm and they put pins in it but it didn’t heal right and the only option was to re-break it and he opted against this. I ask how on earth did this happen to you and he casually says oh playing football. I said well my baby isn’t playing football then, but I think that’s odd? He’s telling us stories about epic pranks he’s done and my daughter was all into this and we watched movies until the kids passed out. Then we went downstairs to my room and watched a movie and cuddled up.

Things happen, he’s an incredibly sex black man and we’ve been teasing each other forever! So he pulls out his dick and it’s larger than what he said, it’s huge, and without control I blurted out “holy shit”  and he just laughs, he downplayed the size of his dick which almost never happens. He has to be over 12”? Immediately I got nervous and panic because there’s no way that’s going in me! There’s just no way! The dildos insertable length is 8.5” and I can barely do that? But he puts his hands over my mouth presumably incase I scream and was slow and gentle and by some miracle this works out. It was definitely a cross between pleasurable and painful and I don’t know if anyone could possibly get used to this experience but as long as he was slow it felt good, I don’t know if he puts it all in or not. After sex we lay there cuddling and he stays the night. I haven’t shared my bed much at all in the past year and a half, even before my marriage ended, I slept alone. Every time he moved his joints cracked. He snored. He wanted to cuddle and hold me and I’m not a big cuddler when I’m trying to sleep. So essentially I stayed awake and stared at this incredibly sexy man in my bed all night long. We did have sex again and that time it hurt a bit more, he tried a different position that I think wasn’t good. In the morning before the kids got up and came downstairs he got up and got dressed. He was looking through his facebook reading me jokes, I asked what his facebook name was and he told me and I added him. I questioned him if he had joint issues and he said yea from playing football. He made some weird comment about picking up his last 3 paychecks and I joked what are you independently wealthy, he said I do okay. Then he gives me a hug and kiss and says he’s gotta go but wants to see me again, I agree we should. He leaves and I lay in bed and really look at his facebook. So he played for several NFL teams, he played defense on the Minnesota Vikings, and he currently worked with the NFL, I thought oh shit he meant football, football! Not like highschool football and this made so much more sense. But it made me giggle cause as Izzo said “my new man’s on the Minnesota vikings, truth hurts, needed something more exciting.”

But for real that was just too much dick!

[bnrobertson1]

EXCELLENCE IN PRODUCT PLACEMENT

Death Stranding* is a wowing mind-fuck of an experience, surreal and mundane and draining and invigorating. Unafraid to constantly show you Norman Reedus’ bare ass while pontificating on the nature of modern existence, the game is unlike any before it, a venerable nightmare for marketing people and gamers expecting something more tried-and-true. 

Choose a Caption!: “I intend to help all of humanity through these apocalyptic times. But first, a peek of me bottom for the ladies.” -OR- Reedus Rump: Kojima’s Metal Gear-esque Weapon to Appeal to Women. 

Death Stranding is also the host to the best piece of product placement in recent memory. The product? Monster mahfucking Energy** drink, a (demonic?) elixir that boosts main character Sam’s stamina when consumed- a life-giving tonic with only 160g of sugar. You don’t drink water in the game, you drink Monster. Hell yes. For a game about wandering the wreckage of a nuclear-ish event, it’s a masterful touch, eloquently capturing our need as humans to technologically improve everything (yes, even the liquid responsible for life), a destructive compulsion that is the vertebrae and driver of the game’s narrative. Many in the press find this shameless money-grab to be tasteless, but the fact Coca-Cola (a corporation!) undoubtedly paid millions to get it so prominently in the game only speaks to its preposterous-yet-probable presence. It’s probably too subtle to be a Kojima-nod to the futuristic satire of Idiocracy, but Monster Energy will undoubtedly go down as the real world’s Brawndo (just without the electrolytes).    

*More Thoughts on Death Stranding (BEWARE NON-SENSICAL SPOILERS): God Bless Hideo Kojima, the man goes for it. Arguably video game’s most beloved auteur and inarguably the one who most wants to be referred to as “Kubrikickian” and/or “enigmatic,” the mastermind behind the beloved Metal Gear games proves incapable of working small or with gloves with his Death Stranding, leaving both fingerprints all throughout and editors’ calls unreturned. Hours-long cut scenes waxing philosophical about technology’s dooming yet liberating role in our future? Check. 4th wall breaking, star-fucking pop culture references? Check. Singular gameplay whose laborious nature quite soundly proves larger points about things ranging from literary theory to the gig economy? Check. Check. Check.

But between the preposterous acronyms, convoluted packing systems, and Conan O’ Brien cameos, there glimmers dots of genius. Those willing to wade through the oft- incomprehensible industrial-military-complex babble are rewarded with “Holy Shit” moments, those boundary and/or sense exploding things of which Kojima is King. Death Stranding is no different, and although the game never reaches the heights of the Metal Gear games, there are specific parts that unleashed that goosebump wave of awesomeness. The bolo gun that wraps up your enemies instead of killing them, your ability to hog tie the unsuspecting with an elastic strand, the focus on oil and blood as the life force of all things- these are but some of the elements of the game that really work, dripping into the game at just the rate where you keep interested but not overwhelmed.

But the best moment in the game is in a cut-scene where your baby companion (did I mention Kojima is weird?) literally stops bullets with its mind to save you. Now, the prior sentence shouldn’t make sense, and probably doesn’t. But the real nonsensical thing is just how powerful it hit. In a game about loneliness and the brutal nature of existence, this self-less act is totally unexpected but gives you the real feeling that someone has got your back (even if it proves to be a futile gesture). It’s effect was reminiscent of similar film sequences. After about 15-months of Covid I would say the point was comforting in a way I was not anticipating whatsoever. 

Being the only one of my friends insane enough to finish the game’s deliberate but nonetheless grotesquely overlong runtime (60+ hours of fetch quests!), my fellow Metal Gear fans have asked: is it worth playing? To which I really don’t know the answer. It’s absolutely bold and tries to tell a tale that could only be told in the video game medium, but then again, video games aren’t particularly great ways of telling stories. At points it felt like its design was made to be played in the pandemic: it’s time-consuming, meditative, and at times utterly mind-numbing. At its peaks, the game is reminiscent of Grandaddy’s The Sophtware Slump, another generally somber post-technological tale, albeit with less alcoholic robots and more characters named things like Die-Hardman. It’s not nearly as *fun* as other AAA titles, but then again the diametrically different approach of Doom Eternal didn’t inspire a couple thousand words.    

**I can’t remember my first cigarette, beer, or kiss but I do remember the first time I had a Monster Energy drink. Due to some mental, emotional, and physical deficiencies, I was unable to fly for about 6 months- just the thought of driving to the airport turned my anxiety- and palm sweat- on like a firehose. But knowing this fear was simply incompatible with modern life, I gave myself a building block of a goal- make a flight from my then-home of Austin to somewhere close enough that I could rent a car and drive home. I chose Dallas because I had an incentive: to see obscure musical group Nine Inch Nails*** performing at one of the Metroplex’s many arenas.

Getting on the plane took some assistance- specifically in the form of about 2 grams of Alprazolam. The barbiturate calm pressed the right buttons beautifully, having me giggling about clouds as opposed to obsessing about how we were in a speeding steel cylinder 7 miles above the surface of the earth. But when we landed in Dallas about 30 minutes later, the ease evolved into a potent sleepiness. Which is fine if you’re headed to a hotel, or virtually anywhere else in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, but not so much when you’re about to see an Industrial concert with 8,000 other people not exactly known for their chill. Plodding along, I finally made it to the concert, hoping to order a Red Bull as big as its namesake to get me out of blah bliss and into banging. The venue only sold Coke products, so in my apathetic exhaustion, I decided to order a Monster, an energy drink to that point I identified with redneck culture and thus avoided. Finding the whole thing pretty funny- and strongly buzzing off the fact that I had somehow faced my fear and gotten on an airplane- I figured there was probably no better place on earth to try a tall boy Monster Energy Drink Zero Sugar than FUCKING DALLAS, ie, the Monster Energy Drink of America.

The flavor I ordered was in a white can and poured out looked like some sort of large sea mammal had just bricked into a cup. Disgusted but not discouraged, I grabbed the glowing goblet like it was the reins of a dragon and took it by its mighty wing, by which I mean swig. Surprisingly tasty, I thought. Not the Pepsi-fied version of Red Bull I was fearing. The house lights then were dimmed, indicating it was game time. I wisely bought another Monster and went into the show, thinking 32 oz of liquid electricity was exactly what I needed to match Reznor’s energy.

You’re goddamn right I took a picture of my first Monster! 

Whatever chemistry was going on in my body was probably bad, because it felt awesome. Even though Nine Inch Nails had performed a majority of my favorite stuff the night before (their first of two nights in Dallas), the concert was as engrossing as was hoped- the loudness and lights simultaneously pummeling and transcendent. While it goes without saying that it wasn’t for everyone, the entire 3-hour ride back to Austin I was laughing like a maniac, having won a small battle (flying) and getting a big reward for my efforts (NIN). So, when anybody asks me what the ludicrously huge can of white can of energy drink I’m proudly, obnoxiously enjoying tastes like I am genuine when I tell them: “Carbonated Capri-Sun. And Courage.”      

*** I had been scared of NIN growing up too, specifically the video for “Closer” which made my 10 year old guts squirm like worms with its hanging meat and imagery that was confusingly gory yet sexual. I also went to a conservative all-boys school where wearing NIN stuff was rarely allowed, and when it was you’d be shamed by one of the change-petrified cliques that ran the place. My position softened a bit after the landmark Johnny Cash cover of “Hurt,” but what confirmed my fandom was when I heard “The Hand that Feeds” on a Chicago strip-club sound system- since then, they have soundtracked much of my life. Lesson: There lies wisdom in Strip Clubs.      

[ritebeforeyoureyes]

Confessions

Two uploads in two days, what? I would like to thanks the anons and all you precious lovelies that comment or message me separately, you all helped motivate me to get these chapters out quickly! 

Plot - Tom gets a message from Zendaya’s stalker. 

Confessions (Chapter Eight) 

“What the fuck?” Tom was utterly gobsmacked as his gaze drifted between his best friend, his girlfriend and the pictures in front of them. Betrayal was coursing through him and he didn’t know what to do other than let the profanities float out his mouth. He was British, after all, and having a potty mouth was pretty much customary. “Fucking little shit-“

“Okay, they’re not that bad.” Haz added in, his hands flicking between the pictures laid out in front of them.

“Yeah, stop being such a drama queen.” Zendaya smacked Tom’s shoulder lightly. “Look at this one, it’s rather cute if I do say so myself.” She picked up a picture and cooed softly. “Look at that little face.” She leaned over to squish Tom’s cheeks and he simply pushed her away, his agitation directed solely at Harrison.

“Why’d you have to pull out the baby pictures, man?” Tom sighed, his forehead falling onto Zendaya’s shoulder as he looked at the horrific pictures varying from his childhood up until his awkward high school days.

“Your mum is in town, she’ll probably do more damage than me.” Haz handed Zendaya another picture and Tom groaned against her skin, his breathe tickling her softly. She squirmed under his touch and grabbed at the next embarrassing picture that Harrison was trying to show her.  

“They used … they … used … to call him … double … D in high school.” Haz couldn’t manage to get the sentence out coherently, his body doubling over with laughter.

“Okay, I’m not going to stick around for this, I need a beer.”

“Beer’s in the fridge on the right.” Zendaya pressed a kiss to the side of his head and Tom excused himself from the two, a blush creeping up onto his face. Tom Holland, now, was Spider-Man, he was on his way to getting a successful career with a beautiful woman on his arm. Tom Holland, back in the day, was the kid who got picked on for being crappy with the ladies and having disproportionately large ears. Tom didn’t want Zendaya to know him as the awkward, scrawny boy … and so, he left the room before Harrison could joke about the nickname that had seemingly haunted him his whole life.

“Why’d they call him double D?”

“Dutch Dumbo.” Harrison held his stomach as his laughter died down. “Dutch because … his last name’s Holland and Dumbo because-“ He pointed to a picture of four year old Tom sat on Santa’s lap. He was dressed in a miniature soccer, or football, jersey and his ears seem to be visibly larger in comparison to his teeny tiny body, like the beloved Disney character, Dumbo.

“Aw, that’s so mean!” Zendaya felt a little bad for Tom but she couldn’t help the snicker that came out of her.  

Tom and Zendaya were currently still in LA for promotion. The Spider-Man: Homecoming promotional tour had kicked off with a bang and they were jumping between radio interviews, photoshoots and fan meet and greets. Nikki, Tom’s mum, had flown back out to LA to accompany Tom to some business meetings and auditions in the mix of all the Marvel madness. She’d be flying back to London with some of the cast for further promotion before heading back with all of her sons for the Hollywood premiere. For now, Nikki was staying with Tom and Harrison at a hotel, much to Zendaya’s dismay.

The text from her blackmailer had pushed her over the edge and she was constantly anxious, just waiting for something explosive to happen. Zendaya knew that ‘him’ in her last text was in cryptic reference to Tom and she knew her blackmailer was going to get into contact soon enough. The whole ordeal made her uncomfortable, excessively so. She wanted Tom by her side whilst she spoke to him, confessed everything … but with his mother in town, it was hard to do, it meant Tom couldn’t stay at Zendaya’s house during their stay.

Zendaya had first met Nikki whilst her and Tom were just friends and they’d gotten along really well. She was a nice woman who had been exactly like Zendaya’s own parents – supportive. Nikki was Tom’s biggest fan and her adoration for her son’s success was one of the most humbling things that Zendaya had ever had the pleasure of witnessing. Nikki’s niceness had been further enhanced by how she was treating Zendaya (as Tom’s girlfriend) She’d enveloped Zendaya into a hug and welcomed her into the family, no hesitation in her eyes. It made Zendaya understand Tom’s close relationship to his mother, she was a fantastic woman.  But, despite how much Zendaya liked Nikki, her timing couldn’t have been worse. With the ball in her blackmailer’s court, Zendaya was jittery twenty-four seven and Tom was the only person who could calm her nerves.

“Zendaya, come ‘ere for a sec!” Tom yelled from her kitchen.

“I told him the beer’s in the fridge on the right, bet he still can’t find it.”  Zendaya rolled her eyes at Haz before following in her boyfriend’s footsteps. He had a tendency to speedily look over the shelves before calling Zendaya for assistance. It was usually a ploy to get her up on the counter, her legs around his waist. They’d been caught one too many times in the compromising position and Zendaya smirked before walking into the kitchen. But unlike every other time, Tom was stood in the middle of the room, his whole frame hunched over the island in the centre, a beer in hand.

“What’s this?” His voice was barely a whisper, but his tone was enough to tell Zendaya that it had happened – this was the explosion that she had been cautiously awaiting.

Zendaya progressed towards him hesitantly, her eyes fixated on the phone he was holding before her. The picture on Tom’s phone this time was a different to the one that Zendaya had received a week ago; this picture was just one of her. Again, she was naked, a towel in hand. She was staring out into the distance and from the background and the picture’s surroundings, Zendaya knew exactly where and when this picture had been taken. It had been taken at a hotel in New York and the wardrobe choices in the back indicated that it was a few days before her attendance to the Grammy’s in 2015. Somebody had been watching her – stalking her – for over three years.

“Tom-“ Tom took a large swig from his bottle before speaking again.

“Is this why Darnell thought you were acting strange?” Suddenly everything was starting to make sequential sense in Tom’s head. Yes, when he’d first arrived, Zendaya had been normal but he was starting to nit-pick her every more after Darnell had said she’d been acting weird. He saw her jump more often and glare warily at her phone. He felt her cling to him more often, all most as if he was protecting her from something … protecting her from this. “Baby, has some psycho been threatening you?”

Seeing the mixture of fear, anger, sadness and worry written on Tom’s face, Zendaya succumbed. All of the anxiousness she’d been trying to bottle up hit her all at once. First it was one tear and then soon enough there were streams running down her face silently.

With three big strides, Tom held onto Zendaya tightly as she crumbled. Her body went limp against his and he rubbed soothing patterns into her hair as she cried quietly against his chest. Her body was shivering lightly, and he swiftly got out of his yellow and black plaid shirt, wrapping her frame in it. But, the extra addition of clothing didn’t help Zendaya’s situation … she continued to shake, and cry and Tom continued to stand by helplessly.

“I’m … I’m sorry.” Zendaya’s voice was hoarse from all the crying and the sound made Tom’s anger spike to an unhealthy level.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Tom’s voice was gentle as he stroked at her cheek but then his sight drifted back to the picture still up on his phone, the volume of his voice raising unexpectedly. She looked so vulnerable and so young in the picture, it made him physically sick that somebody was capable of doing this to her right under his nose. “What fucked up person has been threatening you?” He was talking to himself at this point, Zendaya just wiping away the tears that were constricting her vision. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I … I-“

“How long has this sicko been watching you?” Tom gripped at her shoulders, giving her a light shake. She stuttered again, her words inaudible. “How-“ Tom’s voice had a warning tone to it now, his poker face now loud and clear. “Long?”

“I don’t know … but that … picture … three years ago … that picture is from three years ago.” Zendaya managed to choke out the fragmented words and within seconds, all hell broke loose. The beer bottle on the counter was smashed against the adjacent wall. The strange coloured liquid dripped down her wall leisurely, but Tom didn’t seem to care. He needed to vent his anger and he was taking it out on the closest things to him; the beer bottle, a glass, a plate … as Tom progressed towards throwing something else, Harrison came running into the kitchen.

Haz took one glance at a tear filled Zendaya before enveloping her into his arms. What had happened so suddenly? Zendaya was laughing with him mere minutes ago and now she curled into him completely, her eyes refusing to acknowledge Tom’s reaction … this was what she didn’t want. She didn’t want Tom to hurt because some jackass was blackmailing her, he didn’t deserve any of this. This was her problem and she didn’t want Tom’s career to suffer because of it. So, Zendaya took comfort in Haz’s shirt, her eyes squeezing shut as she heard a continuity of cracks and splinters. Seeing Tom’s physical anger had only catalysed her tears once more and Harrison took to petting her back gingerly as he tried to snap Tom out of his anger reverie.

“Mate, you’re scaring her calm the fuck down!”

Haz’s words were like ice cold water to Tom’s skin. He let his raised arm fall and he breathlessly took in his surroundings. There were bits of glasses and ceramic littered across the floor and he lot a wrangled groan as he collapsed onto a bar stool. Tom ran his hand through his curls as he tried to control his erratic heartbeat. “What’s going on?”

“Someone’s been stalking her.”

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian one-shot “Itchy and Scratchy” (Rated PG13)

After a long night of delousing poor Thomas's hair, Sebastian is eager to keep Kurt up, regardless of how tired he is.

And Kurt helps out, by doing something unintentionally stupid. (1479 words)

Part 30 of Daddies

Read on AO3.

“How’s the bug?” Kurt asks, shoving the last of their soiled towels into a trash bag and tying it at the top. He never thought he’d see the day they’d use all twenty-one of their bath towels in one sitting, but apparently there is a first time for everything. Unfortunately, the towels have to sit in their polyethylene cocoons for a full twenty-four hours, so he’ll need to buy a couple more in the morning to tide them over.

“Better than the ones that were in his hair.” Sebastian sighs, the long evening spent gathered in the bathroom with Tom-Tom perched on a stool in front of Kurt’s vanity while Kurt meticulously combed nit after nit out of their son’s hair weighing on his shoulders.

“Is he asleep yet?’

“Out like a light. How are you holding up?”

Kurt raises a hand to brush his drooping bangs from his forehead, but when he catches sight of the white nitrile glove covered in nits, he stops with a jolt. “I don’t think I’ve been this tired since … well, I can’t remember being this tired. What time is it?”

Sebastian fishes his phone from his pocket. Blinking his eyes to re-gain some focus, he looks at the screen. “2:17 in the morning!” he groans. “God! Didn’t we get started at nine or something?”

“Eight,” Kurt corrects. He sets the trash bag aside, spraying it entirely with Lysol for good measure before he opens another one for Thomas’s clothes.

“How did you know how to do that, by the way?” Sebastian asks, snapping on a pair of gloves so he can dive in and help his husband.

“I’m from Ohio.”

Sebastian makes a sound that falls somewhere between a scoff and a yawn. “So am I, and I had no idea what to do.”

“Yeah, but you’re from the wealthy part of Ohio, a.k.a the sterile sector.” Kurt shoves a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants into the fresh trash bag. “I’m from the part where lice are so prevalent, we have an actual lice season. Classrooms are segregated not by intelligence level, but by your history of contracting lice in the winter, so the school district can keep the repeat offenders isolated and stay ahead of a massive infestation – no pun intended.”

Sebastian chuckles as he gathers up the contents of their two bathroom trashes and combines them into one larger bag. “Have you ever had lice?”

“Only once,” Kurt admits. He removes his gloves, completely covered in Pantene conditioner and dying lice up to his wrists, tosses them into Sebastian’s trash bag, and snaps on a fresh pair. “Some bonehead in one of the remedial fifth grade classes threw his crusty hat in the coat closet with everyone’s clean stuff as a prank, and it landed square on my jacket. My head was infested so badly, my dad almost had to shave my hair to get rid of them all.”

“Sexy.”

“Yeah.”

“How did you avoid it?”

“There was a lady down the block from us who ran a beauty parlor out of her kitchen and she knew how to handle lice. She taught us her technique.”

Sebastian stops what he’s doing and gazes up at the ceiling, trying to picture an eleven-year-old Kurt with no hair, but he can’t. He can no more imagine a young Kurt Hummel hairless than he can his husband bereft of his signature wavy locks … and back in high school, when they hated one another, he’d tried. He’d often considered the ramifications of breaking into Kurt’s dorm room, finding his bottles of product, and spiking them with Nair.

But in the end, after declaring a truce (and one phenomenal blowjob later), cooler heads prevailed, and Sebastian never entertained the thought again.

“I don’t think the world is ready for a bald Kurt Hummel,” Sebastian decides, breaking out a roll of paper towels and a bottle of 409 to wipe down the sink and toilet.

“That’s what I’ve always believed.”

On the counter by the sink, Sebastian stumbles across the hair trimmer Kurt had set out at the ready on the off chance this particular infestation was beyond his ability to control. It didn’t come to that, of course, but there they sat just in case they were needed. Even though they weren’t touched, they’d need to be cleaned before they were put away, so Sebastian starts wiping down the blades when a thought bubbles at the back of his brain.

“Although, it may be about time we got around to shaving something else.”

“Like …?” Kurt assumes Sebastian is referring to Thomas’s poor Labradoodle, who sat obediently by his boy’s side the entire time Thomas was treated. Not that Hepburn was in any danger. Lice are species specific. Human lice won’t infect a dog.

“Like … other areas of your body that may be getting a little unruly, to put it politely.”

Kurt gasps. He subconsciously moves his hands to cover his privates, but remembers – lice. After handling only a few items of Thomas’s clothes, his gloves are already covered in goop and trapped insects, some of the buggers a little more lively than Kurt is comfortable with. He really should avoid getting them on his own clothes if he wants to remain pest-free. So he stands in front of his husband, unable to cross his arms or put his hands on his hips, feeling exposed. “So maybe I’m overdue for a waxing. Have you honestly been paying that much attention?”

“I’m always paying attention,” Sebastian says, rolling his eyes. “It’s my job.”

“How’s that?”

“Well, to quote a completely revolting John Mayer song, your body’s a wonderland. My wonderland. And I consider myself the caretaker. That includes keeping you happy, healthy, satisfied, man-scaped …”

“I don’t know if that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said,” Kurt says, eyeing his husband as he approaches, trimmer in hand, “or the most revolting.”

“Which one’s going to get us into bed quicker?”

“Unfortunately, neither. We still have a ton of cleaning to do, and we can’t turn in till it’s done.”

“Well, I recommend we move this party to the guest bathroom so we can get to it then.”

“How are we going to clean this bathroom if we move to a different bathroom, one that doesn’t even need to be cleaned?”

“I figure we can start with the two of us, then move back to this bathroom after we’re done.”

“But we’ll have to take another shower after that!”

“And that’s a bad thing why?”

“Because I’m exhausted,” Kurt argues, backing up against the bathroom wall with no intention of fighting off his husband’s advances. He can’t help it. He can barely keep his eyes open, but he’s also extremely horny – which is a bit on the disturbing side since he’s just spent the last several hours picking bugs out of his son’s hair.

But that’s what being in love with an incredible and sexy man will do. It makes everything else in the world seem irrelevant.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Sebastian promises. “I’ll take care of everything. I’ll bathe you, I’ll wash your hair, I’ll trim you up, make you all smooth and presentable …”

“Presentable to who?” Kurt chirps a nervous laugh at his husband’s domineering tone. It’s not one Kurt often hears.

It’s different.

It’s unexpected.

It’s hot.

“To me … and only me …” Sebastian moves in closer, eyes locked on Kurt’s lips. Kurt leans back, ready to pull his mouth away at the last minute and leave Sebastian to lay kisses across his neck. But Sebastian knows that ploy, so he starts at the juncture of Kurt’s neck and shoulder instead, traveling steadily up, up, up, in search of his husband’s mouth. Kurt tilts his head. His bangs fall into his face again, and a stray hair tickles his nose. He reaches between them and pushes his hair off his forehead.

A millimeter away from his husband’s lips, both men stop cold.

“Did I … just do what I think I did?” Kurt asks, his jaw hanging so low it almost scrapes the toe of his slippers.

“I’m afraid so,” Sebastian says, green eyes sympathetic with his twitching lips holding back a snicker.

“Dammit!”

“What should we do?” Sebastian asks, hoping that the answer will simply be don’t worry about it. Continue on with their plans. Anything louse related will wash off in the shower while they’re making love.

“Grab that comb,” Kurt commands. “You’re going to learn how to de-louse.”

“Wouldn’t it just be easier to shave it all off?” Sebastian jokes, shaking the hair trimmer where Kurt can see. Kurt grabs it out of Sebastian’s hand and slams it down on the counter.

“If you ever want to get head again,” Kurt says, unbuttoning his shirt, “you’ll de-louse mine. Now get to work!”

[kallyjadestilinski]

Yellow Strings (Stiles Stilinski AU) Chapter 1

I hope everybody likes Chapter 1. I don’t exactly know how long it will be in the end, but the more people who like it maybe the longer it will be. @fangirl-moment-x​ I hope you like this chapter!

She shook her head and pushed the memory of her past to the back of her mind before walking through the front door of her new school. Beacon Hills High School was her new safe place; it’s what she needed, a small town, and a place where she could lay low and easily hunt. The halls were normal, the students were normal, everything was normal, and that was beyond perfect. She looked around as students filed into the desks around her, and jumped at the sound of the door at the front of the classroom being slammed and Coach Finstock walking in, “who is ready to make me regret my entire career choice today?! How about you Greenburg?!” The whole class looked bored already which made it seem as though picking on this random student was a normal thing, “we have a new student today so as per usual we are gonna need an introduction, come up here and introduce yourself young lady.” Her eyes rolled dramatically, she walked to the front, and turned to the class. There she saw him, a seemingly normal student until their eyes meet and she stopped. She can’t explain what she felt but her soul was drawn to him, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of knowing someone she had never met before. Stiles looked at her eyes, and he couldn’t look away, for a second he swore her eyes flashed with almost an intense green. He shook his head and looking at Scott, based on his expression he knew that he had seen it too. She began to speak, “my name is Jade Norvell, and I am from a larger city in Texas, and I moved here because my parents wanted to get away from the big city life to somewhere more simple, and quiet. I love photography, and exploring, and ya that’s random enough so there you go.” She shook her head at her awkwardness and letting an audible sigh escape. Stiles looked at her in a way different than Scott had seen him really look at anyone. They never looked away from each other the whole time, and it wasn’t only Scott who noticed because suddenly coach intervened, “very interesting Jade you may be seated, Stiles close your mouth you’re getting drool on my desk.” Stiles dramatically rolls his eyes before practically slamming his head onto his desk. “Hi my name is Kira,” a girl walked up the Jade’s side in the hallway and immediately wrapped her into a beyond welcoming hug. Jade was surprised seeing as she didn’t expect anyone to make an actual effort to get to know her, and all she really expected to do was blend into the background. “Hi my name is Jade, it’s really nice to meet you.” They continued walking down the hall headed to lunch where Kira had invited her to sit with her friends. Kira had been the new girl before, and knew exactly how it felt to be the new girl in a strange school so it was easy for Jade to feel comfortable around someone new. Kira told her all about her friends including the newest of them Malia who had also only recently came to BHHS. Sitting in the back of her mind was pure joy of actually meeting friends being so much easier than she had ever imagined. They had grabbed their trays and before they had made it to the table Jades breathing came to a stop in her throat, there she saw the student who Finstock had referred to as Stiles. Suddenly she became nervous as she sat next to Kira who smiled as she kissed Scott on the cheek before introducing everyone. Jade listened, smiled, and went through the normal greetings, until Stiles came up. “This is Stiles Stilinski he is on the lacrosse team too.” He reached across the table from his spot in front of Scott to shake her hand, but as he did so his shaking hands hit the open water bottle in front of him spilling the water across the table and onto Jade’s shirt. Luckily Isaac reached forward and grabbed the bottle before a large amount had gone anywhere. “Dammit, I’m sorry,” Stiles muttered before placed his head into his hand. “It’s fine don’t stress about it,” Jade slightly laughed at the whole interaction before long the bell rang to call lunch and Stiles rushed out the cafeteria door. Stiles walks into his bedroom and dramatically threw himself on his bed slamming his face into his pillow before letting out a groan. Papa Stilinski made his way into the door frame, “should I ask what is going on or would it be best if I just left this one up to my imagination?” “Well dad where do I begin a pretty new girl came to school today, and my way of introducing myself was spilling half a bottle of water into her lap.” Papa Stilinski just shook his head, and walked away muttering to himself, “that’s my son.” Stiles laid there thinking to himself about how different she felt, and how different she was. It wasn’t like how he had felt before with Lydia where he got practical heart eyes, and made googly eyes at her from across the hall. Jade felt different; he felt almost unstable being away from her now that they had met. It was weird to him, though, he was used to the feeling of being uneasy or nervous, but this is different. The weirdest part was that it felt so natural for him to suddenly feel this way. He did have one question though, had her eyes actually flashed a bright green or had his eyes simply been playing tricks on him? Jades apartment was lonely, and the single bedroom was the only room she had taken the time to decorate. She had made it look like her room back in Texas, the picture frames full of her memories of her parents, and friends from back home. But for the first time since her parents passed away that was not what was going through her mind, it was Stiles. His brown eyes, his stutter when he talked, his nervousness, and the way he couldn’t help but let his heart race so loud that Jade could hear it. Even in the time period that she wasn’t in his presence at school her soul felt strangely off balance. She felt as though she had to be around him, she had to know everything she could. She had never felt like this before, like she almost had to be as close to him as she could or else she herself was weak. She knew what this was. She listened to the story the man who changed her had told her, a story (or what she thought was an old vampire legend) of two people who were simply meant to be together. A story about how when these people were around each other their powers, strength, and minds grew stronger. When they were away from each other it’s almost as if their center of gravity was thrown. Soulmates. Two people who belonged together because their souls molded together perfectly. Two people who were simply made for each other, one for the other, two people were simply meant to be. She couldn’t do it though not to him. She couldn’t allow Stiles to enter a world of death, and loss, and utter pain. Stiles thought back to everything he has been through with the pack, the pain, and fear. He shook his head, he made pact with himself then and there no dating outside the supernatural. Neither of them wanted to hurt the other, neither wanted to know what their world was like. Little did they know they were living in the same world.

[lilmissmousey]

Denial: Chapter 2

Warm.

Her lips were so warm.

Slotted against his, Bulma’s mouth felt like his missing puzzle piece. Never could Vegeta have imagined that this single action could cause his soul to swell beyond his body. Her arms were still locked around his neck, holding fast as though he would evaporate and vanish, or worse, just keep running away from her forever. Bulma was preventing this with every ounce of her strength, but what she didn’t realize was that he couldn’t move even if he wanted to.

Though his body was frozen in place, Vegeta’s mind was a whirling dervish; torn between the primal urge to throw this beautiful creature over his shoulder and scream a victory cry, or collapse in the fetal position curled up against her and sob. It was leaning dangerously in favor of the collapse when she began to pull away from him. On their own accord, his lips helplessly trailed after her. Vegeta’s eyes opened to find Bulma looking at him, lips slightly parted and flushed, “You okay?” She breathed.

All he could do was stare at her, chest shaking with each gulp of air. Was he having a heart attack? Is that what that fluttering in his heart meant?

“Vegeta?” Bulma was starting to look nervous, “Was that too much? Oh God, I’m so sorry,” she stepped away from him, hands wringing nervously, “Damnit, I’m such an idiot.”

Wait. What?

Bulma sniffed, wiping the corner of one eye, “I’m so, so sorry. I crossed the line. God, I hope you can forgive me.”

She was gathering her shawl. Now she was putting it on. Was she leaving? No! This wasn’t what was supposed to happen!

Her back was to him, head bowed as she picked up her keys from their place on the kitchen counter, “If you never want to speak to me again, I understand.” Her well manicured fingers were on the door knob, turning it and pulling the door open.

He should move. He should be running. Why wasn’t he? He wanted her. She in some capacity wanted him. The overwhelming feelings inside him must have short circuited something. Vegeta’s brain was screaming at his useless extremities to do something, anything, but before he could his apartment door was wide open.

She was looking at him over her shoulder in the doorway, sky blue eyes filled with tears, “Sorry,” she whispered again, and then closed the door behind her.

Vegeta was still as a statue, staring in quiet disbelief at the now empty place where Bulma had stood. Gone. She was gone.

And it was his fault.

He had fucked everything up.

Why didn’t he respond? Why didn’t he stop her? All it would have taken was a word, a kiss from him, anything…

An ache started in his jaw; he realized he was grinding his teeth together. Vegeta needed something, anything to set his mind straight. Almost robotically he picked up a discarded t shirt from his floor, snatched his own keys and stormed out of the apartment and down the stairs, scrolling with near desperation through his recent calls.

A ring came through the speakers, once, twice, three times before a sleepy voice answered:

“‘Geets? What’s-”

“Kakarot, gym. Now.”

“Wha-now? It’s almost eleven…”

Vegeta hung up; he knew his sparring partner would come. He always did. The need to pound out his confused feelings was outweighing any other desire at this point, and he knew that before he faced Bulma, he had to face himself first.

-

The moment Goku walked into the gym he knew something was wrong.

Vegeta was throttling a punching bag, which in itself wasn’t that odd, but the blood smears across the surface of it gave the normally flippant man pause. His gym buddy always had a routine: be ten minutes early, drink a bottle of water, wrap his knuckles, and then do work. The fact that Vegeta had missed part of his ritual let Goku know that it was going to be a long night.

Instead of greeting the smaller man with a clap on the shoulder like he normally did, Goku walked to the opposite end of the bag and held it steady, giving a small nod and let Vegeta continue his assault. No words were exchanged for the rest of the session. Though Goku knew he wasn’t the smartest when it came to traditional education , he at least had the common sense to realize that whatever Vegeta was going through had him hot and bothered. And a hot and bothered Vegeta was a dangerous one. The lawyer had a reputation still, even though his teen years were long gone.

When they were younger, the two had run wild across the city together. While Goku had his grandfather to lean on and didn’t purposefully(that being the key word) get into trouble, Vegeta sought it out. Desperate, almost anxious for any kind of attention Vegeta had managed to get into more scrapes than anyone thought humanly possible. Goku had felt a certain responsibility to the older, flame-haired youth despite other people’s grumblings and curses. All had given up on Vegeta.

Except for Goku.

Or, 'Kakarot’ as Vegeta referred to him. He’d always wondered why 'Geets never referred to him as the name he was best known by. There had always been the allusion that the smaller man knew more about Goku’s past that he let on. Maybe Kakarot was his birth name. Goku had known he was adopted from very early on and didn’t really care. His happy-go-lucky attitude had gotten him out of some tough situations and thrown into others. All the while the man on the other side of the punching bag had been by his side, either fighting alongside him or punching Goku in the face.

Friendship was complicated.

After some pretty heavy sparring and about two hours later, Goku laid back on the mat and puffed out a breath of air, “I’m throwin’ in the towel. Chichi was already mad when I left. Any longer and I’m sure I’ll be in for it.” He raised his head, only to see Vegeta leaned back against the wall looking at the floor.

“Fine. Goodnight, Kakarot.”

Odd, Goku thought. No calling him weak for going home? “Hey man, whatever is-”

“Shut up.” Vegeta interrupted, crossing his arms, “just, don’t say anything. It’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like nothin’,” Goku said, rolling onto his knees, “but, whatever is going on, you can figure it out, ya’ know? You’ve had worse.”

Vegeta snorted, but at least he was looking at him now, “You’re an optimistic fool.”

Chuckling, Goku rubbed the back of his neck and picked up his gym bag, “Well, better to be optimistic than sulk ya’ know? Sulking doesn’t get ya’ anything. It just makes ya’ feel worse. At least havin’ faith gives ya’ something to look forward too, instead of deciding you’ve already quit. And you’re not a quitter, 'Geets.”

“Pfft.” Shaking his head, Vegeta smirked, “Like I said, optimistic fool.”

The larger man shrugged, slinging his gym bag over his shoulder, “Well, somethin’ has gotten’ ya’ this far hasn’t it? Anyways, see ya’ Tuesday?”

Vegeta nodded, picking up his cell phone from the top of his gym bag. After a few seconds of staring at it he grunted and put it back down. Goku smiled knowingly, “It’s that girl, isn’t it? The picture on your phone you’re always lookin’ at?”

“GOODNIGHT Kakarot.” Goku chuckled, “Alright, alright. Night.” And with a wave over his shoulder, he exited though the gym doors into the evening air, leaving Vegeta perplexed as to how someone so spacey could leave him feeling more grounded than anyone.

-

The apartment was dead silent when he entered, the air smelling of the food Bulma had brought over from the restaurant. He’d forgotten about it, and it sat tepid and abandoned on the coffee table. Vegeta swallowed, then turned down the hallway towards his room. He didn’t want to deal with that tonight. Maybe in the morning.

Showering with the water as cold as possible distracted his mind, but that only lasted for as long as the shower did. The moment he stepped out, the heaviness settled back into his thoughts. Maybe sleep would help.

After laying awake and staring at the ceiling for half-an-hour, he realized that it would only be her that occupied his dreams that night. And that made him uncomfortable. What were his feelings for her? Bulma was very pretty, so there was that, obviously. And she was smart. And kind to him, as he was to her. The fact that he’d never once turned her away made him realize that he was far more attached to her than previously believed.

His phone was charging on the nightstand beside him. She hadn’t text him. Not once. The two would normally text until she fell asleep. It made him feel hollow inside without that contact.

Vegeta reached for the phone and sent a quick text:

“I can’t sleep.”

Quickly, he put the phone back on the nightstand, tucking his hands behind his head. Why was his heart racing?

A minute went by.

Then two.

Then five.

He picked his phone back up, then opened his messages. It said the text had been read.

But she hadn’t responded.

Vegeta’s gut churned. Bulma always responded to his texts. Why hadn’t she? Was she angry with him? She had every right to be if he was being honest with himself. What a selfish asshole he was. She’d thrown herself at him, and what did he do? Gawked at her like some clueless, love sick teenager-

Love sick.

Oh. Oh no.

Then the incoming text bubble appeared. Vegeta inhaled loudly, sitting straight up in bed, completely transfixed at the silly gray bubbles. She was responding. Everything would be alright.

Then it disappeared.

And he waited, the minutes ticking by.

The clock on his phone hit three Am. An hour had passed.

Vegeta settled back on his pillow, eyes growing heavy, still watching that text screen.

When the sun began rising he was fast asleep, phone held tightly against his chest, just in case it vibrated against him.

-

After @rutbisbe Drew me that gorgeous Chiccolo picture, I asked her, “Is there a prompt that you want me to write?” All she asked for was another chapter of 'Denial,’ so here it is ❤️ Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me to keep up with this: @dulali @saiyanprincessbulma @vegetapsycho @froglady15 @thats-my-bulma @amazingmeplusone @icanthearyoumundane and so many others. And a special thanks to my gorgeous ladies @dragondancer28 and @itsmandymo for reading over this. I love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

[shirlleycoyle]

Coronavirus Is a Golden Age for People Sucking Their Own Dicks

Welcome to Rule 34, a series in which Motherboard’s Samantha Cole lovingly explores the highly specific fetishes that can be found on the web. If you’ve thought of it, someone’s jerked off to it.

The links in this article may be considered NSFW.

*

Reddit user 6monthsuck is determined to put his time in social isolation due to the coronavirus pandemic to good use. Some of us are back into yoga now. Others are coping with homemade bread. A lot of people are suddenly super into regrowing scallions. Some are hard at work making unfulfilled horniness their whole personalities.

6monthsuck is using this time to try to suck his own dick.

"A lot of people in quarantine are two things: bored and horny," he told me in a direct message. "I'm no different. Self sucking seems to exist where those things intersect."

He recently came across r/autofellatio, a subreddit dedicated to the art of sucking yourself off, and remembered that he was nearly able to reach his own penis with his mouth when he was a teen. But he didn't keep stretching, and never quite got there.

Now, he's trying—as you might have already guessed based on his username—to suck his own dick within six months.

"Being able to do it requires a lot of stretching and most people aren't able to fit that into their usual routines. Lockdown is a pretty good opportunity to put in the time… I thought, this time, I'd try again," he said.

Once the stuff of urban legends, auto-fellatio—the act of sucking one's own dick—is much more popular than most people realize. If all you knew about it was the mythology of Marilyn Manson's removed ribs, or that Saturday Night Live skit where Will Ferrell discovers his talent in yoga class, you're missing an entire subculture of self-pleasure. It's not only possible for many people to reach their own dick with their face, but also suck, and even deep-throat themselves to completion.

"Through infinity to a new world"

Historically, the practice of auto-fellatio goes back thousands of years. Images of gods sucking their own dicks in plow poses are inscribed in the Book of the Dead of Henuttawy, possibly as symbols of potency and power. In medieval literature, depictions of people self-sucking were placed alongside images of anal sex, bestiality, and masturbation, possibly as reminders from the Christian church that sex without procreation was sinful and shameful.

Auto-fellatio has a long cultural history in modern times, too, mostly as mythos (in Manson's case) or homophobic or shock-value jokes. In the 70s and 80s, we have Ron Jeremy's famous ability to tongue-tickle his own dick. Porn star Vito Aras—known as Dr. Infinity—jumped up on a desk and threw his legs up over his head to suck his own dick in the 1975 film Every Inch a Lady, and went on to profess the wonders of self-sucking to anyone who'd listen, including in an interview in National Screw a year later.

“The release of sperm from yourself into yourself becomes the energy which can lead to infinity,” Aras said. “Self-generating energy will allow you to be anything you want. Through sucking on my own cock, I have created a human condition that is very stimulating… Control of one’s sperm leads to infinity, and through infinity to a new world.”

It's a belief system that's the inverse of what we see from groups like NoFap today: That sperm is an energy to be harnessed and used. But instead of repression, release. Into one's own face.

These larger than life figures paved the way for Al Eingang, one of the most prolific champions of self-suck content online, to help move the practice from mythical ability to something anyone might be able to do—or at least strive toward.

"It is its own, unique and enthralling thing."

Eingang, the creator and administrator of Solosuck.com, a platform for selling his videos as well as a repository of guides, resources, and active forums for students of self-suck since the mid-90s, has been able to suck his own dick since he was "10 or 11 years old," he said. It was as natural to him as using his hand. He said a genetic condition with a side effect of making him extra-flexible has also made it extra-easy to slip his own penis into his mouth since puberty.

Years later, people would write him letters calling him a god.

"Imagine having someone giving you head who can feel every sensation that you're feeling, so they can adjust what they're doing to provide you with perfect stimulation," Eingang told me. "There's a kind of feedback loop in action that can lead to long, deeply satisfying edging sessions. I can bring myself to the edge, and then just use the tip of my tongue on the most sensitive parts of my cock to gently keep me on the crest of the orgasm wave without tipping over into a full, final orgasm, for a really long time."

Eingang shot his first video, "A Young Man From Nantucket" in 1987, on a friend's Hi8 camcorder—the top of the line, at the time—and produced the whole thing himself, from filming the scene to editing in-camera. He mailed the tape to a few gay skin magazines, and the reviews came back breathless. Producers and directors from Christopher Rage to groups like the long-running jackoff club New York Jacks started asking him to collaborate on new content.

"At the time that I started doing it, there basically was no internet, there was no World Wide Web," Eingang said. "So when I started doing the videos, I thought, a small number of people will see it and it's never really going to have that big an effect on my life."

But as soon as the internet arrived in ubiquity, he started finding images of himself from the videos he'd made for those magazine reviewers, posted online.

"I decided, well, I guess this is happening, so I might as well put myself out there on the web." He started solosuck.com in the mid-90s, and has been running it ever since. "A Young Man From Nantucket" is still for sale on his site—and people still buy it.

Since the world went into social isolation, Eingang said he's seen a big uptick in video sales from his site. He hasn't made a new video since the 90s, but people are seeking out his content now—which he attributes to people being alone during lockdown.

"For me, it's not a substitute for sex with other people (which I love)—it is its own, unique and enthralling thing," he said.

On Reddit's r/autofellatio forum, which has more than 38,000 members, the increase in isolation-themed threads and posts by people trying it for the first time paints a picture of bored and horny guys putting their time spent alone to use.

"Aiming to selfsuck during this quarantine. Any pro tips for a beginner?" one user asks. "Just the tip! But plenty of time to practice in isolation," another wrote, with a photo of them reaching toward their erect penis. Others comment encouragement or suggestions: "Nice! You'll get there… practice makes perfect!" "Fuck yeh bro great work! Keep posting that progress :)"

"'Now, I'm seeing that maybe I am a total freak and a weirdo, but so are most other people. So I can feel okay about it.'"

On the forums at Solosuck, which has been running continuously for decades, people similarly trade advice and show off their skills and progress. There's crossover between Reddit and Eingang's solosuck.com community, where guys will refer Redditors to the dedicated self-suck forum for continued mentorship. It's a place where enthusiasts can find community and camaraderie, an escape from a society that otherwise might label them as gross or weird.

"One thing that I've just heard over and over again, and all the decades I've been doing it is, 'This has helped me to calm down… to figure out, well, I thought I was a total freak and a weirdo,'" Eingang said. "'Now, I'm seeing that maybe I am a total freak and a weirdo, but so are most other people. So I can feel okay about it.'"

How to suck your own dick: A brief guide

Reaching your own dick is a practice of patience.

"It's absolutely not going to happen overnight, and I think people often resort to brute force to try and bend their spine the sufficient amount," 6monthsuck said. "A good stretching routine done daily for a few weeks will provide you with noticeable progress, so I'd say give that a go and see how you feel afterwards."

Yoga videos for flexibility and long, warm baths have been 6monthsuck's strategy in the two weeks since his journey began, and he says he's gone from being four inches away from his penis, to about two inches.

Another member of r/autofellatio and a longtime moderator on the Solosuck forums, who goes by blacksunshineaz, said it took him months to get back to being able to just kiss the tip of his penis now, in his late 20's, like he could in his early teens. He recommends yoga and pilates, but also cautions people from rushing into it.

"Making contact for the first time is magical but you still need to get another inch or two deeper to actually be sucking it," he said. "Sadly, after all the years I've been practicing I don't think I'll get there."

"Practice very, very slowly, and explore different positions," Eingang said. "Be very, very careful about injuring yourself and just enjoy the journey as much as possible. It doesn't really matter how you get with it, as long as you're enjoying it."

It should go without saying, but be mentally ready for the finale. As former VICE writer Brian Moylan noted when he wrote on this topic in 2012 (in an article that became one of the most-read VICE has ever published), the sensation of cumming in one's mouth might be new to straight men, especially. One might think that this is the logical ending to what someone reaching their lips toward their own penis would expect, but for some guys, it's sort of like a dog that's finally caught its tail.

The mix of emotion and confusion from men who've never tasted jizz of any kind, let alone their own, is a common concern throughout auto-fellatio forums. For some "straight-ish men," Eingang said, an interesting moment of introspection happens. "They're like, 'I've got this dick in my mouth, it's my dick, but actually really enjoying this and kind of wondering what it'd be like to have somebody else's dick in my mouth.'"

That questioning is a natural part of exploring what turns you on, but for guys who previously thought of themselves as unflinchingly heterosexual, finding yourself enjoying a dick in your mouth is bound to be a little confusing at first.

A misplaced connection to sexual preference is at the root of a lot of the misunderstandings people have about self-suck, blacksunshineaz said. "A lot of guys worry about their sexuality for wanting to do this. 'Am I gay?' they ask. This is simply an advanced form of masturbation so your sexual orientation is irrelevant. A lot of people think the act is impossible, even though it isn't difficult to find proof it actually is." Most of the guys on auto-fellatio forums identify as straight, he said.

"In my view, the biggest thing people get wrong is actually believing that auto-fellatio is a kink at all," 6monthsuck said. "If everybody had really flexible spines, it would probably just be a standard form of masturbation. There's a reason why most men have at some point tried to suck their own dick, because they want to know what it would feel like." For him, it has nothing to do with sexuality, but with pleasuring himself in a novel way.

As more people find themselves alone with their own dicks and all the time in the world, places like Solosuck and r/autofellatio will only become more important for people asking these questions about themselves. And when they find those communities, they'll likely discover a place where others cheers them on.

"I'm always thrilled to know that I'm bringing more orgasms into the world," Eingang said of his decades of work with Solosuck. "In a complicated world, there are very few things that I feel are 100 percent, really wonderful… It really is just humans being the weird animals that we are."

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