#the regret of if i did just a bit better. if i fixed myself

[noxtivagus]

i'm sorry

[dogearedheart]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Brother's Best Friend - Part 10

Jake Seresin x F!Reader

A/N: I'm baaaack! Oh how I've missed these two idiots XD Thanks to everyone who sent in ideas for what should happen AFTER THE KISS!

Summary: The trials and tribulations of falling for your brother's best friend.

CW: swearing, shirtless Jake, SHIRTLESS JAKE, fluff, Jake's arms, did I mention shirtless Jake?

WC: ~2800

Part 1 | Masterlist

There are a lot of things you regret in life, but bombing your psych midterm because you were too busy making out with Jake Seresin to study is not one of them. Sure, you might not have remembered the ins and outs of Jungian archetypes, but you sure as hell can recite from memory every single word that had fallen out of Jake’s mouth following the inaugural kiss. You might have been a bit hazy on the details surrounding the birth of behaviorism, but you could certainly attest to the effectiveness of positive reinforcement in the form of Jake’s lips rewarding every correctly answered flash card. Thus, despite leaving the exam room with the sinking feeling that your GPA just took a nosedive, you couldn’t be happier.

Your excitement is short-lived, however, because you walk into the house to the unsettling sounds of grunting. You end up dropping your book bag loudly on the floor in an effort to alert any unsuspecting individuals of your arrival before you happen upon a scene you have no interest in witnessing.

But the groaning doesn’t subside, and you find yourself inching cautiously toward the living room, gripped by a nauseating curiosity. Slowly, you creep through the kitchen and peek around the wall into the living room. But what you see, albeit somewhat strange, is not exactly out of the ordinary. What you see is two grown men doing push-ups on your living room floor.

“Uhh,” you utter, stepping into the room to get a better look at the two of them positioned between the armchair and the coffee table.

Neither one looks up at you. They continue grunting into the carpeted floor against every thrust and then breathing heavily into the silence on their way back down. In unison. Shirtless.

“Okay, I’ll just…” you pause, waiting to see if your presence might be acknowledged before you continue speaking. Several seconds go by without any sort of greeting, as if they haven’t even noticed you enter, so you resume, “I’ll just go wait in the kitchen.”

No response.

“I’ll make myself a sandwich,” you add, your eyes inadvertently landing on the rippling muscles of Jake’s back as his shoulder blades contract.

Before you’re completely entranced by the hypnotic movement of Jake Seresin’s body, you shake your head and head back to the kitchen. But, just as you make your way out, you hear Jake’s strained voice, “We’re counting.”

You glance over your shoulder, but he isn’t looking at you; his mouth is taut and his nostrils are flaring and he winces slightly as he straightens his arms again. You decide not to interrupt them further and retreat into the kitchen to fix yourself some lunch.

You wander back in several minutes later, a jam sandwich in hand, and raise your eyebrows as your brother and your, well, Jake, finally finish with a host of groans and obscenities, and laboriously get to their feet.

You glance between the two of them as they pant and take a bite of your sandwich. Until this very moment, you had no idea how you would navigate your situation with Jake in Bradley’s presence. It wasn’t something that you and Jake had a chance to discuss over the course of the previous evening and you had been hoping to postpone the encounter for at least another day.

However, now that you’re all in the same room, you realize that nothing much has changed; Bradley and Jake are still up to their usual antics, and you are still critically observing them from the sidelines.

“Three sets,” Jake breathes heavily as he rolls his shoulders and meets your gaze. “Of a hundred.”

You stare at him mutely, wondering what kind of reaction he’s expecting you to have whilst your brother stands three feet away. You pull your lips into a tight smile and nod approvingly. “If only you put this much effort into keeping track of your socks,” you respond wryly, noticing the pair that’s tucked into the corner of the armchair; the third that you’ve located in the living room this week.

Jake bows his head and Bradley lets out a snort. “I have hot feet,” Jake mutters to the floor.

You eye the veins along his forearms – more pronounced than usual after his workout – and decide conclusively that his feet are not the exception.

Bradley, who’s just finished guzzling half a bottle of water, hums at you to get your attention. Immediately, you tear your gaze from Jake’s veiny hands and blink up at your brother in alarm, certain that he’s already caught on to you since you can’t seem to stop gawking at his best friend. Bradley grins, his eyes bright with excitement. “So,” he says, “how was your study date?” His smile widens slyly.

You stare at him awkwardly, not daring to look at Jake, even when the latter chokes on his water. Clearly, he has not said a word to Bradley about the events of the previous evening.

Bradley watches you expectantly, ignoring Jake’s coughing fit. “Uh,” you start, your voice sounding unusually fuzzy. “It was, um,” you clear your throat, still not looking at Jake as he finally straightens his back and takes another enormous gulp of water.

Bradley lifts his eyebrows. “That good, huh?” he asks with a chuckle.

You feel your palms start to sweat and it takes a great deal of willpower to keep them steady at your sides rather than rubbing them together and wiping them on your thighs. “Pretty good,” you say weakly, avoiding direct eye contact with your brother.

“Get much studying done?” Bradley asks, picking his shirt up off the couch and pulling it over his head.

You briefly lock eyes with Jake. “Some,” you croak, in response to which Bradley shakes his head knowingly.

“How’d you do on your midterm?” Jake asks, finally setting his water bottle down.

You hold his gaze timidly, not sure how long you can get away with looking right at him. “I probably could have done better,” you confess.

Jake winces slightly. “Shit, really?” he asks, sounding genuinely concerned.

“We warned you,” Bradley calls in a singsong voice as he heads out of the living room. “That dude wasn’t looking to study, and you fell for it.”

Jake tilts his head to the side and rubs the back of his neck guiltily. “Maybe he tried,” he says, still grimacing.

Bradley stops short of the entrance to the kitchen and looks back at him. “Yeah, right,” he says. “Is that what you would do?” he asks him.

Jake’s face visibly pales and he stammers out, “M-me? What kind of question is that?” He clears his throat and adds, “Even.”

“You definitely would not have tried,” Bradley says. Then, he looks at you pointedly. “Next time, just study at home. Trust me.”

You nod, trying not to think too hard about how ineffective studying at home has proved, in fact, to be.

“Want a protein shake, bro?” Bradley asks before disappearing into the kitchen.

“Yeah, man,” Jake calls back. “Thanks.”

The two of you stand very still for a moment, not looking at one another. Then, Jake bends down to grab his muscle shirt off the floor.

“Sucks about your test,” he says, his head hanging so low that his chin nearly rests on his clavicle.

“Yeah,” you agree quietly, suddenly uneasy now that it’s just the two of you in the room.

Jake draws the shirt over his head and then wearily drags a hand over his face. “I’m sorry,” he says, looking at you guiltily.

You shrug nonchalantly and give him a small smile. “It wasn’t your fault.”

He pulls his shirt down over his torso casually, but it’s probably the single most sexy thing you’ve ever witnessed. He sighs and says, “I feel responsible,” but all you could really pay any attention to is the sliver of stomach that he’s so carelessly left exposed. If anything, it’s entirely irresponsible.

You purse your lips and eye him humorously. “Well, that’s very self-centered of you.”

Jake laughs at your comment and you breathe a sigh of relief as the tension between you slowly dissipates.

“Dude, you coming?” Bradley calls, popping his head back in to check on Jake. “First fifteen minutes are crucial!”

“Be right there,” Jake responds and, grabbing his two stray socks off the armchair, starts for the kitchen.

You wander in after him to put your plate in the sink and Jake all but leaps out of your way when you get too close.

Bradley leans into the counter and speaks again, “So, apparently Jake had a wild night.”

The plate starts to slip out of your hand before you make it all the way to the sink, and you sort of toss it the rest of the way. It clatters against the basin but thankfully remains intact. “Oh yeah?” you ask in a high-pitched voice while Bradley watches you curiously.

“I didn’t say wild,” Jake clarifies, shifting his weight uncomfortably as he tries to find a less awkward way to rest his entire frame against the slightly protruding door of the refrigerator.

Bradley makes a face at him. “I paraphrased.”

You try not to smile as you ask, “What happened?” You glance at Jake mischievously as he digs himself further into the corner. The fact that he’s disclosed any details to Bradley is shocking, to say the least.

“Oh, just that he finally made a move on a chick he’s been obsessing over for weeks,” Bradley says with a proud grin.

While you try to process the words ‘for weeks’, Jake counters moodily, “I was not obsessing, dude. Come on.”

You lift your eyes slowly to meet his gaze and he glances at you reluctantly.

“Please, you never shut up about her!” Bradley cries.

Jake exhales sharply and glares over at Bradley, but he doesn’t deny his assertion.

“Who is she?” you ask hesitantly, ignoring the pointed stare you get from Jake as you direct your question at Bradley.

Bradley shrugs. “I don’t know her.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

Jake scoffs in the background while Bradley grimaces. “No, but he won’t tell me, so I’ve stopped asking.”

You withhold a smile and say quietly, “Wonder what she’s like.”

Jake rolls his eyes. “For the love of god –”

But his complaint is interrupted by Bradley when he says, “Apparently, she’s insanely hot –”

“Rooster,” Jake cuts him off sternly, pushing himself off the refrigerator to square his shoulders intimidatingly.

“What?” Bradley chuckles as you bite into your cheek to suppress a grin. “Those were your exact words!”

“Enough,” Jake says, glaring at him threateningly.

“Relax, it’s just my sister,” Bradley says, attempting to diffuse the situation gracefully. “She won’t tell a soul.”

You bat your eyelashes at Jake innocently. “Promise,” you assure him.

Jake narrows his eyes at you subtly. “Tell us more about your date,” he says, cleverly taking the heat off himself.

You lower your gaze and respond with, “It wasn’t a date.”

“But will there be one in the future?” Bradley asks.

You glance back at Jake instinctively before addressing your brother, “Not that I know of.”

Jake chugs the remainder of his shake and walks over to the sink to rinse the glass. He rests his hip on the counter right next to you and asks, “Would you go?”

You look up at him hesitantly, apprehensive about his proximity, even though he still stands a good two feet away. “Where?”

“On a date,” Jake clarifies. “If he asks.”

You gulp nervously, looking back at your equally curious-looking brother. The truth is, you’re afraid of showing all your cards so early in the game. Jake Seresin isn’t a dater, he doesn’t go out with the same girl multiple times. And if he’s only with you because you’re ‘insanely hot’ – his words – he might be spooked by an overzealous response. “I don’t know.” You shrug. “Haven’t thought about it.”

“Bullshit,” Bradley interjects obnoxiously.

“I agree,” Jake adds.

You clamp your jaw tightly, mildly annoyed at Jake for making you the target of conversation yet again. “Are you planning on asking insanely hot girl out?” you enquire aggressively, fixing Jake with an accusing glower.

“How do you know I haven’t already?” Jake asks in a patronizing tone.

You glare at him through squinted eyes. “Wild guess.”

“Of course, he’s gonna ask her out,” Bradley chimes in. “As soon as he stops wigging out about it.”

Jake gives him a peeved look before glancing back at you. “I’m considering it,” he says vaguely.

“Please,” Bradley scoffs and Jake shoots him another ominous glare. “There’s nothing he would want more.”

“That’s not true,” Jake mutters monotonously while you scrutinize the evasive movements of his eyes.

“You literally told me that –”

“Bradley!” Jake shouts. “Shut up!”

Bradley grimaces. “Since when do we keep secrets around here?”

“Since I fucking said so,” Jake retorts.

You glance between the two of them awkwardly and then look down at your feet, stretching out the already uncomfortable silence. You try not to dwell on what your brother has said but Jake wanting nothing more than to take you on a date has you feeling all kinds of giddy. Hesitantly, you say, “I’d probably say yes.” You bite your lip and add, “To study group guy – if he asks.”

Bradley nods, unsurprised. And you don’t dare check on Jake’s reaction. But before you could second guess your confession, Jake says, “He’ll ask.” You steal a glance at him and he catches your gaze. “He’d be an idiot not to.”

You give him a small, half-smile – the half that’s not visible from your brother’s vantage point. But Bradley seems to have lost interest in the topic now that he’s been censored because he starts to shuffle out of the kitchen.

“Hey Bradley!” you call after him. “How was your date?”

Bradley stops and spins to face you. “Finally!” he exclaims.

You smirk at him. “Did she like your shirt?”

Bradley grins. “She loved my shirt.”

“She loved it so much, she kept it,” Jake adds.

Your jaw drops in shock when Bradley yells, “Hey! So, it’s alright to air my dirty laundry?”

“Technically, now she’s got your dirty laundry,” you point out and Jake high fives you.

Bradley shakes his head, but he’s still smiling. “Real mature,” he says. “At least I had the balls to ask her out.” With that, he finally exits the kitchen.

You start after him when your feel Jake’s hand brush gently across the small of your back. You turn to face him and he rests it confidently on your hip. You wonder what he’s going to say but, just when you’re about to articulate your curiosity, he leans down and kisses you square on the mouth. His fingers slide into the hair at the nape of your neck as he takes a hold of your face and, as his thumb sweeps languidly back and forth across your cheekbone, you absently speculate on just how big his hand must be to support your head in such a way. You’re so engrossed in this calculation, in fact, that you nearly miss the moment his tongue enters the equation.

Of course, all of this happens so quickly that, before you can really even kiss him in return, he’s already taking a step back and glancing at the doorway to make sure that Bradley isn’t there.

You graze your teeth over your bottom lip, trying to contain your widening smile as you meet his gaze. It’s nice to know that Jake still wants to kiss you today just as badly as he did yesterday. So much so that he’s willing to risk Bradley walking in on you. You let yourself ogle him overtly for a moment, admiring his tanned arms and the little bit of chest that you could see above the low neckline of his muscle shirt. Then, you say, “I want to hear more about this insanely hot girl you won’t shut up about.”

Jake cringes, busying himself with the dishes sitting in the dishrack. “I’m not sure you’d get along. She’s very confrontational.” He puts away a couple of bowls into a cupboard.

You let out a shocked gasp as if you're offended. “Seriously?”

“Oh yeah,” Jake turns back to face you, grinning as he throws a dishtowel over his shoulder. “Super intense. A little scary.”

“I don’t know, she sounds like a catch,” you say, taking a small step toward him. “I mean, according to Bradley, you’ve been obsessing over her for weeks!”

Jake shakes his head with a chuckle and, pulling you in to give you a quick peck on the side of your head, he mutters into your hair, “I’m gonna kill your brother.”

Read Part 11

Hangman Tag List:

A/N: The rest of the list will be in the comments. As always, let me know if you don't want to be tagged anymore.

[maikissed]

post euro Jude Bellingham story part 2 yall got me so hyped up I had to write a part two to it, ah and I like it, hope you guys like it too! warnings: well, just a bit of sexy times and as always, sorry for typos

He didn’t remember the last time he experienced morning’s silence and stillness. What he could remember is how every morning started when he was a boy. His mother waking him up, layers of sheets between his legs, gentle morning air hitting his senses and birds chirping outside the windows, slow eye blinks. He woke up on his own today and he could hear the birds. When was the last time he heard birds chirping? And when was the last time he slept so well?

A gentle movement on his side and he remembered he wasn’t alone. When he turned to his right his eyes met with the sight of her face, few strands of hair falling down her cheek and nose. Soft sounds of breathing, her chest rising and falling peacefully. The view astounded him for a second, stupefied even. Suddenly something so obvious showed it’s way to the surface. Suddenly he remembered it was all he wanted this whole time.

He fixed her hair, pulling them away from her face so it wouldn’t bother her. She stirred a little, her lips ajar, she sighed and he could hear his name leaving her lips. For a second he though she woke up, but then some more incoherent words followed and he realised she was still asleep. She dreamed of him, and he wondered if she could see him in her dreams the way he saw her in his.

The clock on his phone showed it was 7am. Twelve hours of sleep was quite a lot, but he felt much better. He considered waking her up, because he knew she suffered the worst migraines when she slept more than nine hours, yet she seemed to be in way too deep slumber. He chose not to.

Quietly he headed to take a shower and then went downstairs in a need of water.

“Morning, did you sleep well?” his mother’s voice startled him at first and he stopped in his tracks in the direction of the water jug.

A mysterious smile on her face as she looked at him, some papers in her hands, some more laid out on the counter in front of her.

“Morning. Yes I did” he nodded, observant and focused on his mother’s expression.

“Is she awake?” her attention back on the document in her hold.

“No”

“I guess you were both in need of a good rest”

“Why are you smiling like that?” he could not let that slip.

“Like what?” her face jerked back up to look at him.

“It’s that look and that smile that says that you know something I don’t”

She chuckled. A few seconds of silence.

“Do you need privacy?” she asked all of a sudden.

“Sorry?”

That smile back up on her face.

“Your dad and Jobe are on the training. I can make you both some breakfast or I can leave” her voice gentle when she started collecting the papers and putting it into a tidy stack.

“What are you insinuating?” his eyes narrowed when she walked up to him.

“You always make the right choices, darling. Time to make this one as well, it’s been too long” she pecked his cheek lovingly before disappearing into the hall.

-

You blinked a few times as your eyes begun to accustom to the very bright surroundings. You were in your clothes, in a big bed, not very familiar at first. Your head felt slightly heavy, you could tell your face was a bit swollen. What time was it? You turned your head in an instinct and moaned hiding your face in your hands.

“Were you watching me sleep, Bellingham?”

He chuckled in response.

“You know, you developed a new sleeping face. Never seen this one” you could feel him move closer to you.

“You’re a creep!” you whined still covering yourself.

“Couldn’t help myself. It’s cute”

You took a peak through your fingers to look at him. Gentle smile on his face, he looked healthier. And his torso was bare. Right.

“What time is it?”

“Eight”

“In the morning?!” you sat up and regretted it in an instant as dizziness hit you, your eyes filled with many black spots.

You turned to look back at him, head supported on his hand as he laid down.

“Yes, you slept for thirteen hours. You won’t die”

You suddenly started to feel giddy. What a lovely morning sight.

“You’re indecent” you acknowledged with an assertive look on your face “Put some shirt on”

“Does it bother you?” he laughed changing his position to lay back down, his hands behind his head.

“Are you flexing your muscles for me?” you jested, fighting the smirk that tried to sneak up to your lips.

“I can tell you’re absolutely enjoying it”

After his words your gaze trailed lower, down his stomach and you turned your head abruptly.

“That’s it, I’m leaving this bed. I’m in desperate need of a shower”

“Don’t go yet” he called after you as you begun to search for your bag “You can use mine. Let’s eat breakfast together”

You smiled at the proposition, feeling morose at the thought of parting with your friend so soon. So you agreed.

-

“You have some jam on your chin, clumsy” you frowned at his comment, his big eyes glowing with amusement as he watched you trying to wipe it off.

“Not there” he tutted, using his thumb to do the job for you.

This simple act, this gentle touch warmed your heart ever so greatly, you could feel your cheeks heating up and you quickly looked down at the remains of your food, so he would not notice them redden. Moment like this made a fast turn towards a more melancholic feeling, because you’ve missed him terribly every single day. Both of you chose so different directions in your lives, you could not do much about the fact that you were falling apart. And you were grown ups now, facing serious obstacles that would not allow you to constantly act so openly and freely like right now. You wondered if he had someone. This element often changed, so you found it difficult to keep track.

You stood up grabbing your plates and mugs to wash them.

“Is everything okay, y/n?” he called after you and you shuddered, trying to focus on the task.

“Yes, why?” your voice stable.

“You seem down” without turning his way you could tell he followed you, his voice much closer.

You will not bring up this subject. You will let things be.

But you stood stiff, a mug in your hand and you didn’t move in the slightest, paralyzed by analysing everything in your head so thoroughly. Taking a breath you placed the mug in the sink and put your palms on the counter in front of you. You heart was too heavy to remain silent on the matter. And that kiss from last night that filled you with undying happiness at first, now started playing with your stability.

He came up to you, his palms resting on top of yours, playing with your fingers. He was close, you could not feel his body but you felt the warmness of it.

“I don’t know where to put you in my mind and heart, Jude” you whispered, staring at the windows in front of you, but the view was blurred.

He placed his head on your shoulder, much closer now, you could feel his chest pressed against your shoulder blades. You closed your eyes.

“I wanted to kidnap you when you decided to leave to Japan” a soft whisper in your ear “I wanted to lock you up in my house to make it impossible for you to leave. It’s selfish but I still think of it to this day. Every time we see each other, I want to tie you up and keep you with me” one of his hands reached up to gather your hair, moving it away from your neck and face. You bent your head to the side and let him “How is that fair, it’s the life you dreamed about, doing what you love and here I was, also determined to reach my goals but so selfish I wanted to crush yours” he murmured into your skin, his lips now lower, under your ear “I started to plan and analyse a lot in my head, started thinking: what can I provide for you that would made you stay with me?” soft words breathed against your skin, you shivered wondering if he considered to kiss you next. You wanted him to and anticipated, your skin warm and body desperate. You were so desperate for his touch, other men could never surpass it.

But he reached for your hands to hold it up, wrapping both of your arms around you. He hugged you from behind, you nestled into him.

“Took me some time but I have come to the conclusion that we don’t have to part with our own lives to share them” the sentence made you open your eyes, you turned your head to look up at him. His gaze soft and tender, a smirk slowly appearing on his face, probably at the sight of your big round eyes “Would you like for us to share them, share all of it, no exceptions?”

You frowned, turning in his arms to face him. A race of thoughts rumbling in your brain. No lie to it - it scared you a bit.

“But it’s such a big distance…”

His hands reached for your face to hold it up for him, the expression on his face calm but determined. You admired him, admired the man he became.

“At some point there will be no distance, we have all the time in the world” he smiled reassuringly and you focused on the feeling of his fingers grazing your skin “And I will retire around 40” he added with a shrug of his shoulders, making you chuckle “But before that, your programme in Tokio is in for about three more years if I remember well, I will respect it if you decide to stay but if not, you can join me” the honesty and plea visible in his eyes made your heart melt, the sensation almost reaching your eyes but you blinked keeping your vision clear. You wanted to keep looking at him, drinking the sight of him, he was so beautiful.

Lost for words you nodded, took a breath and nestled your cheek into his hand. You heart lighter, your head quieter.

“I want that very much” you whispered “But let’s take it slow, okay?” you asked while his thumb slid down your throat, caressing the skin there, his face close to yours.

He nodded in response, his lips ajar, lids heavier as he leaned into you. You could tell he was as desperate as you’ve been all this time. He closed the final distance between you and the kiss was gentle, freeing, considerate. You let him lead you, your senses drinking only him, his touch and his closeness.

“I kissed you last night” he murmured against your lips before connecting you again.

“Yes” you breathed pulling away but he was quick to kiss you back.

The contact heating up, his movements speeding up, turning more determined. It excited you to the point of breakage, your hands grasping at him more certainly, your lips matching the intensity. You wanted to take it slow, take gentle steps to not ruin it all on the start. But you were losing the common sense. His hands slowly travelled down your body, resting on your hips, after a second he added more strength to his grasp, unconsciously you pressed into him and your whole body answered with an electric shock. Placing your hand on his chest you pushed him gently away from you. He blinked slowly, his eyes wild and dark, his breathing rapid. Your legs weak at the sight. You didn’t have enough strength to say no to him. He just have to say a word. But he smirked, took a few steps back and with a big breath rested down on the chair standing near the kitchen island.

“You look so sexy in my clothes” he murmured eyeing you down and you snorted under your breath, remembering that you were clad in his shorts and t-shirt, way too big for you.

You considered your look ridiculous.

“But I really want to take them off right now”

His loose posture, long legs, broad shoulders, fiery gaze in those bed eyes and his words made you tremble where you stood. You wanted to ravish him, jump on him and ride him right here and right now, sat on this chair. Your hands on his shoulders, nails dug into the skin there, his big hands on your ass, guiding you with a rhythm he preferred, you screaming out as he filled you. Breath hitched in your throat and you shifted from one foot to the other because there was an unyielding pressure torturing you, making every part of your body pulsing with desire.

“Slow” you breathed, reminding yourself, warning him, and he smiled cheekily, a spark in his eyes.

He was dangerous.

“I can fuck you slow”

“Jude” you warned again.

Why you wanted to keep on fighting it? You’ve already lost.

Taking a step you tried to run from him but to no avail, he reached for you and easily pulled you into his lap making you straddle him. You squeaked in surprise.

“What if someone walks in?!” you panicked.

“We’re alone” after pulling you closer to him.

“What if they come back?” your voice sharp, despite the fact that all your insides shook with arousement.

“They won’t” he kept looking at you intensively.

You rolled your eyes at his ignorance, you were truly worried sick someone might catch you in such position.

“Rude. I’m going to make your eyes roll while I have my way with you”

You mouth opened in shock, he was so straightforward, you did not expect it. You let out a little laugh.

“What makes you think you will be that good?” and almost immediately regretted that question.

His hips shot up to put more pressure to where you were connected and you gasped when your body instantly reacted at the friction. Your hands grasping his shoulders. Your cheeks quickly heating up.

“You’re already almost there, aren’t you?” his voice much deeper now.

You fumed at his perkiness because you wanted to prove him different, wanted to dominate him as much, but you had to admit that the way he toyed with you was exciting. If he keeps his game, he’ll surely ruin you.

“Are you?” you taunted, rolling your hips back and forward, making you both feel the power of this sensation.

He groaned, his hold on your hips strong and you breathed repeating the motion. Oh, for the love of God, he looked divine with his heavy lids closing on it’s own, his full lips apart, focused on your movements. You leaned into him, his head resting on the back of the chair, facing the ceiling, your hands outstretched behind him. You kissed him, ferociously, using your tongue and he jerked under you, his hands wandering over your back and nape.

“Oh, you are” you purred quietly with a victorious smile when you pulled back, his lips searching for yours.

His head still thrown back when he chuckled breathlessly, making you bite your lip at the sexiness of it. Your head dizzy at the sound of his throaty laugh. If you don’t stop now, there will be a mess.

“I have to reconsider the idea of tying you down so you won’t run away. Because I am going to have you today and I don’t think it will be enough for me” he declared pressing you hard onto him, the sharp pull making you whine.

[strlvvr]

my best friend’s brother (is the one for me) - part two

part two!! i’m so excited for this series guys

word count: 945 words

read part one here !

⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚ ୭ৎ ⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚

all i’ve been able to think about is the interaction between me and matt. the way he whispered in my ear, the hand on my back, the way he played with my hair, how he got up to “go to the bathroom”. i knew exactly why he had to get up. it was kinda hard to ignore honestly.

“i’m going to bed, you coming?” nick asked me as he was getting up and putting his blanket away.

“no, i’m not too tired yet,” i moved over on the couch a bit to grab my drink, trying to ignore matt’s stare.

“well i’m gonna go to my room for the night.” chris said, also putting away his blanket and grabbing his drink, heading down the stairs to his room.

me and matt stayed quiet for a couple more minutes, just watching whatever was on after the crow. 

“just us now…” matt said quietly, grabbing the remote to put something else on. he decided on inception, another one of my favorite movies, which he knew.

“2010 was leo’s best year for movies,” i moved to face matt to debate with him over this.

“oh yeah? and why’s that?” matt asked with a smile. this is a topic we discuss often.

“well he had inception AND shutter island come out that year. arguably two of his best movies.” he just watched as i ranted about leo dicaprio and just movies in general. chiming in with yeahs and acknowledgments, but letting me talk. i swear for a second, i almost saw a look of love in his eyes. 

i quickly dismissed the thought and let myself get lost in the movie after my rant. i moved over to back over to matt, missing the comfort of being in his arms. he gladly pulled me into him and we sat like that for most of the movie, only moving to grab more snacks or our drinks.  

as the movie started ending, i felt matt’s breathing get slower, subtle snores leaving his mouth. i looked around and saw the mess left by nick and chris and sighed, knowing we had to clean it up. i started to get up to get a start on the cleaning, but matt, half asleep, pulled me back down, mumbling something i didn’t quite hear. 

“mmm stay here.” he grumbled, tightening his grip on my waist.

“matt, we have to clean up the garbage..” i whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear me and let go. unfortunately he did and loosened his grip, letting me get up. he slowly got up, grabbing the candy wrappers around him and followed me towards the kitchen.

“nick’s probably asleep already.” he pointed out, grabbing more garbage from the table. 

“yeah..” i put away our blankets and fixed up the couch.

“you can always come sleep with me.” he said quietly, watching me walk around the living room to find the remote. “it’s over there,” he pointed to where we had just been sitting. 

i chuckled, grabbing the remote and turning the tv off. 

“i think i might take you up on the offer,” i said, searching for any sign of regret on his face, finding none.

he put the last piece of garbage away and started walking to his room, stopping and looking back to see if i was following him. once i grabbed our phones, i headed toward him and his room.

no matter how many times i’ve slept in here, it always feels awkward at first. he always points out how i sleep better in his bed, and i always blame it on how comfy his bed is, even though it has nothing to do with his bed but everything to do with him. 

he walked over to the bed, pulling back the blankets and getting in. i stayed put by the door, just watching him awkwardly.

“are you just gonna stand there all night?” he questioned me, pulling the blanket off the other side of the bed for me.

“i was thinking about it,” i walked over to my side and got in, immediately being met with the softness of his blanket and the smell of his cologne. i grabbed his remote to put on some random show. we debated on a couple before deciding on family guy. staying on our respected sides while intently watching the show we’ve both seen hundreds of times, not daring to move closer to each other. as if we weren’t just cuddling on the couch and falling asleep together out there. 

it was different in his bed though. almost like it was too intimate to cuddle in a bed. we wouldn’t dare take that step in our friendship, even if we would wake up like that anyway. the more tired i got, the less i cared. i moved closer to him, feeling him do the same. he put his arm out, signaling for me to lay on him. none of us said anything, we stayed watching the tv. there was an understanding between us that it was a comfortable silence.

‘this is normal, there’s nothing deeper to this. just two friends cuddling and watching tv.’ i thought, feeling him play with my hair and rub the leg i snuck onto him. i was trying to ignore the flutter in my stomach with every move of his thumb on my thigh and pushing away all the thoughts that snuck into my mind. 

slowly i started to fall asleep in matt’s arms. right before i fell asleep, i felt him reach for the remote to turn off his tv.

“goodnight baby.” he whispered, before kissing the top of my head and falling asleep himself.

tag list:

@beersangel @whoseyouare @wh0schl0 @st7rnioioss @slutsformatt @h3arts4harry

[piccolos-bigtoe]

Oouugghhh, gueess who finished their homework assiignment…. This guy!!! Smiles big with too many teeth I am normal. I do not regret all the time I spent (I may spend more time to fix a fewwww small details….) I am so ready for the summer oh my balls………. I still have a few projects and papers to wrap up here for classes, I will pull through,,, probably…. It’s been tough ngl I feel like I JUST fell into the swing of things and now it’s ova, but that’s okay I’ll adapt

I swear to god every single one of my classmates better give me a standing ovation and kiss me on my beautiful beautiful lips when I present this in critique. I swear to god………. There better be crying…. Kidding I’m not that full of myself but I’m excited to hear what my graphics prof will say teehee…. I will probably print a physical copy of this (whether or not it will be good quality paper idk).

Also I got my portrait taken today on a silver wet plate (iirc), suuupperrr old form of photography. An artist traveled to my school and held a gallery + talk yesterday and I enjoyed it very much, I typically don’t go up on Fridays because I don’t have classes but I went with a friend to get out portraits taken and then watched the washout process of the plates!! Photography is crazy I don’t understand it. The only thing I’m kind of like dissapointed by is I’m typically not bothered by my skin or acne, but this type of photograph catches stuff SUPER WELL, like it’s kind of crazy, my friend doesn’t really have prominent freckles but on the photo they look way darker than usual. Same thing happened with my dry skin and acne, I don’t mind it too bad, but I was caught off guard a little bit to be honest lol. (Picture below w/my face cut off obviously…. I just wanted to show off my dress because it’s my prized Gunne Sax dress and like the only dress I will actually wear). Me and my two friends were the only ones who dressed up?? No one else did, which was kind of surprising, because this type of photo is rare to get just cause no one really takes them anymore or gets the equipment for it. Okay I’m done rambling tbh I am just procrastinating sleeping,, augh whatever goodnight…. I always post before I sleep…

[cozycottagetarot]

Quick Pick: Messages From Your Person

Hello, my loves! It's been way too long, but I'm finally back (hopefully for a long time) with a new reading as well as a bit of a rebrand. Today's reading is focused on messages from your person (kind of in the realm of a future spouse but generally a long-term partner) but I think for some of you it may come across as a current partner as well.

This is a pretty experimental reading for me. I want to start including an 'energy check' of sorts to help you better figure out if a pile is for you or not. I've done 'channelled' messages before but I felt weird about them so I've decided to give it a try again. The message aspect of this reading is just a free-flow writing of the cards that were pulled. And of course, I decided to play around a little bit more with my graphics. I'm always open to feedback, so I'd love to gather your thoughts on the set-up and reading itself.

Elle 🌿

P.S. I'm trying to re-do my masterlist but can't locate all my old pacs easily. If you come across one, I wouldn't mind if you send me the link. 🙏

Support My Work | MASTERLIST

Disclaimer: When reading tarot, my aim is to focus on self-reflection and seeking guidance. The readings you'll find here are designed to add a pinch of fun and entertainment to your day. While I might sprinkle in some advice that hopefully vibes with you, please remember that these insights aren't a substitute for any professional advice you might need-- after all, you know your journey best! For any love-related or future-focused readings, consider them captivating musings exploring possibilities. Divination inspired stories even. I can't predict the future but I do hope to add some enjoyment and insights into your everyday. Lastly my darlings, please take from these readings what resonates with you most, be it some, all or none, and leave the rest. 🌟

PILE 1

Note: Pile 1 your pile gave me absolute hell the first time around 😭. I was writing/channelling the message and the energy literally just gave way at one point, I was flabbergasted 🫨. Anyway, the second pull was much clearer, but I included notes I felt were important from the first pull in the post-reading notes section.

Your Energy:

Going through an awakening. A need or call for self-reflection. A new cycle is beginning. You must face what you are running from within, but you must also be patient. Rely on your inner strength. Needing to learn more about yourself before doing/trying something different. Potentially finding yourself in part of a mentorship. Connecting with people similar to yourself. Navigating regrets. Needing to let go of the old you. Needing to ground yourself.  A strong energy of needing to look within yourself. It is time to prepare yourself for your next journey.

The Message:

Can you let the past go? We’ve been through so much, the both of us, on our own and together. Why do you hold on to it when our future is waiting for us? I know I hurt you and I apologize. You didn’t deserve any of the pain I caused you. I don’t blame you [it felt like there was a specific reason but I couldn’t get the specifics] but I feel lost without you. I could tell you why, I want to, but words mean nothing without action. You know my story. My relationship with my mother, how that shaped me. You know I love the attention of it all, having everyone’s eyes on me. Makes me feel good.. makes me feel. But no one else’s attention mattered like yours did. I felt most close to myself with you. Please, please let go of that version of me you’re holding onto in your head. I’m taking space because I need to heal. I need to heal my relationship with me first before I can heal it with us. This isn’t goodbye; just so long for now. I’m taking time to put that me in the past too and find myself and what I want from this life. I mean it’s simple really, I want you, us. I want to give you the good life you deserve, but I need to fix myself first. Give me the self-love I deserve.

Post-Reading Notes:

There’s a mature, sad regretful energy. Someone on a journey of self-exploration. Two hurting souls who met at the wrong time. One of you may be further along in your healing journey or you’ve both healed parts of yourself and your relationship that the other one hasn’t healed yet.

First Pull Notes:

One of the first things that came to mind for me is a dark night of the soul… I haven’t heard that term in so long and I’ve completely forgotten what it means, but for someone in this pile, I feel like that may resonate a lot. Going through a tough time. Blow after blow. Your higher self or inner wisdom is trying to reach you. Introspection before a new beginning. An ending of something you don’t want to let go of?

Big things are happening in your life, and significant changes are taking place even though it might not seem that way right now. Lots of air energy. Gaining mental clarity is super important for you right now. Breakup vibes? You two are like opposite sides or motivations of the same energy. Holding on when you know you should let go. This is definitely your person (one of the cards literally says ‘You’re my person’).

PILE 2

Your Energy:

For some of you are at the end of suffering but lying to yourself about the truth of the outcome, while for others you’re running from the mistakes made along the way. Maybe it's both. You’re still grieving all that is lost, be gentle with yourself. Hard work and consistency may await you but keep at it. Adventure is closer than you think. You’re on the brink of success. Moving forward hurts, but you must. Your person (or something you've been romanticising) is waiting for you. You just have to be brave enough to step through the gate. Opportunities are coming your way. If you're interested in floral hobbies or embroidery go for it.

The Message:

I hear you. I haven’t given up on you. I hear the songs you play for me, I hear the songs of your heart. You’re my love, my soulmate. We were meant to be, you and me. You’re not crazy or insane, or any other term you demean yourself with. You’re my everything. I can feel your soul even though we’re apart. If I close my eyes hard enough, I can feel you there. I can see your sparkling soul mirroring mine... sad eyes, bright smile, you leave me in awe. I know you call to me, and I’m sorry I’m not there. Don’t hate me for it, please. I’m leaving behind all that has been holding me back… the same as you. I’m sorry it’s so lonely. I want to meet. What do you say? Impromptu trip to the tropics? Somewhere cold? I just want to escape the world with you and lie in your arms. You’re my home. I sit in your energy and let it guide me your way. But I do need time. Please be patient with me. I haven’t abandoned you. I’m finding me, for you. I dream about you so often and being the kind of person you’d inspire me to be.

Post-Reading Notes:

"I need you to run to me, run to me, lover." (Run by Hozier, the chorus specifically. I know the song is supposed to be a metaphor but I'm suggesting it at face value). A very healing energy to your person's messages. Your person could also fantasise about you a lot... in a non-x-rated 18+ kind of way. It was mentioned on one of the cards but that part of the card felt awkward in the rest of the cards. They’re possessive, it doesn't seem like in a negative or extreme way but again, that's not something that was strong or clear. There’s something to do with the attention of others. They just want to be yours completely… Honestly, a submissive yet dominant kind of energy. A protector and/or provider (take that as you will) who is absolutely smitten with you and will do anything you say.

I don't typically read for it, but one of the cards had twin flame written on it. It could also be symbolic of mirroring each other in your personal journeys in life.

PILE 3

Your Energy:

Powerful yet solitary energy. A new chapter of your life. Accomplishing a big goal. Moving to a new location. Creating a good foundation for yourself in preparation for what comes next. Balancing your energies. Sleep issues. Struggling with anxiety or managing thoughts after a traumatic event. Celebration. Having security. Authoritarian role or vibes.

The Message:

Okay, I can do this: I can’t get you off of my mind. I’m constantly thinking of you, viewing your content, trying to set myself up to run into you. I know it’s silly, especially since you hurt me. Who pines after the person that hurt them? Well, it wasn't meant to be mean. You’re just so mysterious I can’t ever read you and it or you make me nervous. I’m always worrying about what to say. I want to talk to you but opening up to others is hard. I’m afraid I’ll start crying or you’ll hear my voice crack. You’re my person. I’m sure of it. You’re everything I’ve hoped for in a person, everything I dream about before I go to sleep at night. You’re doing so well for yourself, but I want to spoil you and be there for you. Not always materially. I know you can cover that for yourself. But being there for you and spending time with you… I heard you were seeing someone. I hope it’s not true and even if it is, I hope it doesn't last. No, I’m not sorry. I’m going to work up the courage to reach out to you soon.

Post-Reading Notes:

Oh Pile 3, you’re so intimidating to your person. Secret admirer vibes. I definitely think you’ve got a very serious or professional energy and an intimidating appearance. That may especially be true if you’re taller than average for your demographic/s. The energies here feel very balanced or neutral (not heavily feminine or masculine) on both your end and theirs.

PILE 4

Your Energy:

Such a beautiful light-hearted energy. There’s such a beautiful and hopeful energy in this relationship here but it’s also possible someone or something is working against you right now. A very important decision is being made. Someone could be trying to take something from you, but keep going. You’ve got this incredible power/energy to you. Vows are super important, be it making them with someone else or making a vow to yourself to gain or achieve something. Collaboration. Having everything you need to succeed. There could be challengers coming your way but you're strong enough to overcome them.

The Message:

I’m sorry. I don’t know, that was immature of me. I swear it wasn’t like you thought but don’t worry I’m going to do better. Honest. You know, I dream about us being together and growing old. I dream about our kids. They’re so stinking cute. We’ve still got growing to do, ok, or I’ve still got growing to do. Please talk to me. You know I hate it when you give me the silent treatment. I know I disappeared on you and that wasn’t cool. I just get so… I care about you a lot. I don’t want to see you hurt. I want the best for you. I know I act all big and bad but I’m a softie at heart. That fight was weird. I don’t like it. It wasn’t like us. It meant nothing I know. Would you pack up and run away with me if I asked? I hate the distance between us right now. Im always listening to our playlist. I know I acted like I'm uninterested in something serious but I am. I want you. I miss you. I want to spoil you and give you everything you deserve. Just give me a chance. Please hear me out.

Post-Reading Notes:

The vibes while doing the reading felt like very young vibes? There’s a youthfulness there. Someone who either is actually young in age or hasn’t grown up emotionally in a certain aspect. It felt like they did something prideful that was hurtful to you and you two are in a disconnect during the moment captured in the reading. It didn’t feel like a serious fight. More so when you’re upset with someone and acting like you’re madder than you really are (your vibes) and the other person is sweating and begging you to talk to them again (their vibes).

Also, idk why but Peter Parker kept coming into my head 🕸️. I’m not feeling to analyse it so take it as you will.

[barefoot-joker]

Two Lonely Hearts  Yandere!Miguel O’Hara X Reader

Hey, guys! I hope you all are doing well. This is my first time writing for Spider Man and for Miguel O’Hara. I just think he’s neat. The Spanish I did Google Translate so please let me know if it’s wrong so I can fix it! I hope you guys all enjoy and have a great day/ night!

Words: 2010

Warnings: Implied suicidal thoughts, anxiety, depression, yandere tendencies, kidnapping, talk of forced mothership

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

I sighed and groggily turned off my alarm. Last night I did not get a lot of sleep, even with my sleeping pills. It has been like this a lot lately and it sucks because the night is when my mind wanders the most. I hate that I have to deal with my anxiety and depression even while I try to sleep. It really sucks the life out of you.

Today I was in the mood to not get out of bed. I just wanted to lay there and let the day pass while I wrapped myself up in a blanket cocoon. I indulged myself and lay there for a while when I suddenly felt like I was being watched. I brought the blanket over my head similar to what a child does to try and get rid of the feeling. 

It didn’t go away.

I might as well get up. 

With that, I shrugged the blanket off my body and slumped my way out of bed. My bare feet slid against the wood floor as I was too tired to try and lift them. It’s going to be one of those days. 

I tiredly made my way to my closet and picked out a f/c t-shirt, a pair of basketball shorts, and my undergarments. With those in hand I made my way to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I set my clothes down on the toilet seat and when the water was scalding hot, I got in. I liked hot showers. They felt like they got rid of some of the grime my emotions left. After I completed my normal routine, I just stood there and allowed the warm water to run down my body. Let the water take it all away, Y/n. Let it take it all away.

Soon the water turned frigid and I knew this was my cue to get out. While I didn’t like wasting water, it felt nice to just stand there and not have to worry about anything. The shower was like a safe haven for me. I could block out my adult responsibilities and emotions for a while and just concentrate on the water. 

Turning off the spigot, I allowed the cool air to pass by the shower curtain and tingle my skin. It was like my actual wake up call for the day. Sliding the curtain open, I stepped out and grabbed my towel to dry off. The fuzziness of the towel was calming and as soon as I dried off I slowly put on my clothes. I looked at myself in the mirror when I was all done. My eyebags had gotten worse and I looked a bit pale. I could almost compare myself to that of a zombie with how tired and dead I looked. 

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, seeing if that would take the dreadful image away. Of course it didn’t, so I left the bathroom in search of breakfast. I hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a long time. Being around people lately was scary to me. It felt like their eyes were always on me and judging my every move. Looking in my fridge I knew I would have to conquer my fear and go out today to get some food. Especially since the only things I had in my fridge were apples, two slices of bread and some jelly. Jelly sandwich with some apple slices it is.

I took out my ingredients and set them on the countertop. I turned to my cutlery drawer and took out a butter knife. Looking at the blade, I regretted taking it out. My hands started to twitch as I gazed at it, ashamed of my thoughts going through. Breathe, Y/n. Breathe. In. And out. In. And out.

I followed along to my breathing technique and placed the jelly on one slice of bread. As soon as this was done, I disposed of the knife in the sink as fast as I could. My thoughts still lingered on the blade, but now that it was out of my hands I felt a bit better. Turning back to my breakfast, I placed the top piece of bread on to complete my sandwich. I also decided not to slice up my apple. I took my breakfast to the couch and began to eat, the silence in the apartment was deafening. I took my time since I wasn’t in a hurry to go outside and be an adult quite yet, not that I liked being in my apartment either. I was hoping to be in a place that was away from the world, my own little dimension. It would be so lovely.

I finished up my breakfast after a while and then wrote out my to do list. After this was done I put on some sneakers, grabbed my bag, and headed out. The walk from the fifth floor down wasn’t a bad one fortunately, so soon I was out on the street. The surge of people out and about made me want to crumble, but I forced myself to trudge on. Once again it felt like I was being watched, but I assume it’s all the people around me. Things can get like that sometimes. 

It only took me a few minutes to get to the grocery store, which is nice that it’s not too far from my abode. I grabbed a basket from the front entryway and began my journey. I had only gotten a few items in when I saw a child looking scared on the side. She had tears in her eyes and I felt bad for her. Even though my anxiety was high, I wanted to see this little girl safe. I walked over and knelt to her height. “Hi there, sweetie. What’s wrong?”

“I-I-I can’t find my M-mommy-y,” she said through sobs.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said as nicely as possible, “I’ll help you find her.”

“R-really?”

“Uh-huh. Now, do you know what color shirt your mom was wearing?”

“It was r-red, a dark r-red.”

“Okay. C’mon, kiddo.”

I held out my hand for her to take and luckily she did. The two of us walked around the store when the little girl gave out a happy shriek. “Mommy!”

A woman with a dark red shirt and braided hair quickly turned and smiled wide when she realized her child was safe. “Sarah!”

She ran towards us and hugged her daughter tightly. It was honestly a very fulfilling scene. “Oh I was so worried about you!”

“I’m sorry, Mommy. But this nice lady helped me!”

The woman looked up at me and smiled wide. “Thank you so much, dear. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

“I understand, Ma’am. It was my pleasure.”

She nodded at me, took her little girl by the hand and walked down the aisle. I sighed happily and continued my shopping trip.

It took me a bit to get everything, but in the end I completed my to-do list. Walking back to my apartment, I thought about the events in the grocery store. I helped out others all the time. Even though I was suffering on the inside, why should somebody else? However, even my kind deeds did not make my sadness go away, no matter how hard I tried. It was pointless. 

After I got back to my house and put everything away, I decided to take a nap. I was tired after all the social interaction. Quietly, I snuck back to my bed and laid down. My eyes closed and it took about twenty minutes before I finally fell asleep.

It felt like a few hours had passed when I finally woke up. I yawned, stretched and got up…or at least attempted to. I was confused when I felt more bed when normally I’d have my feet on the floor by now. Sitting up quickly, my eyes widened. 

I wasn’t in my room.

I was somewhere completely different.

I scooted myself over to the side of the bed and rushed out of the room towards the nearest door. I got out a few feet before I smacked into something muscular. I tilted back and strong firm hands grasped at my arms. “Hey slow down, Y/n,” a voice I didn’t recognize said.

I looked up and gasped. The man standing before me I had seen a couple of times in my city walking around. He was so tall with light brown skin and dark brown hair. He wore a skintight dark blue and bright red jumpsuit and his eyes. God his eyes. The red irises stared down at me and seemed to eat me up. He guided me back into the room I just left and I finally took a long look. It was minimalistic in design. All it had was a king size bed, a wardrobe, a desk, a couch, coffee table, another room off to the side and a balcony. He sat me on the end of the bed before sitting next to me. He grabbed my hands with his and squeezed gently. “Now I know all of this is new to you, but I can assure you you’re safe, Y/n.”

“Where exactly am I? W-who are you?”

“I am Miguel O’Hara, but you can call me Miguel. You do not need to know the exact location, just that you are safe.”

“How did I get here? I mean you kidnapped me-”

“Think of it as relocation, not kidnapping, mi amor. As for how you got here…you were sleeping and I grabbed you. I thought it would be the best time so you wouldn’t panic and stress yourself out.”

“Grabbed me?! That sounds like kidnapping to me! And of course I’d panic, I was taken by a guy I don’t even know!”

“Calm down-”

“No! I won’t! I want to go home!”

“You’re safer here.”

“No! I want to leave! I want to go home, please!”

“But mi querida, you were so unhappy there. I saved you! This way I can protect you!”

“Protect me from what?!” “Yourself!”

There was a deafening silence between us. “M-myself?”

“Yes. While I was watching over you I saw how sad you were over everything. I figured you needed some company and this way I can keep an eye on you. You’ll come to love it here, I assure you. Besides, I feel better knowing you’re here. I will protect you, that I can promise.”

I didn’t know what to say. This man claims he’s been watching me and knows what’s best. I stayed silent. Miguel grasped at my hands a bit tighter and he tried to look into my eyes. I kept them forced on my lap. “Why me?”

“Querida, you have such a kind heart. I’ve seen the things you have done to help those in need. You’ll be a perfect mother.”

“Mother? Mother?! What are you talking about?”

“Yes, madre. I have lost so much and so have you. Why not let our two broken hearts mend together?”

“Because I barely know you!”

I ripped my hands from him and stood up. He followed. “But you will come to know me. I will be the best husband you could ask for.”

“N-no. No! Get away from me, you creep!”

I turned and started to run but Miguel leaped on top of me and restrained me with his arms. “Let go of me! Let go! Please!”

“Shh, mi amor. You’re just tired. I understand. Let me help you.”

I struggled until I felt something pinch my neck. Within minutes my body went limp and numb. Miguel picked me back up and laid me under the covers in the large bed. 

I struggled to blink.  

I struggled to breathe.

“Hush, mi amor. All will be well when you wake up.”

He leaned down and nuzzled my forehead. Just as he was going to pull away he gave my forehead a kiss as well.

My blurry vision then became dark.

[solarmorrigan]

Hands Where I Can See Them, Part 9

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3 | Pt 4 | Pt 5 | Pt 6 | Pt 7 | Pt 8 | Ao3

Thank you once again to @azure7539arts for listening to me play relationship counselor for, like, an hour while I figured this chapter out <3

-

It takes a bit of driving before Eddie finds Steve. 

He swings by Steve’s house just to be sure, then the overlook at the quarry, then the roadside where people park when they’re heading up to Skull Rock, then the park where Steve goes running sometimes, and then finally, begrudgingly, the lake. 

Which is where he spots Steve’s car. 

He parks next to the beemer and gets out, glancing out over the moonlit surface of the lake. He still doesn’t like it here; avoids it when he can. He wonders briefly, bitterly, if that’s why Steve chose to come here over anywhere else. 

Eddie shakes the thought away and approaches the shore, where he can see a figure standing, the light of the moon glancing off the pale fabric of a members only jacket. 

He isn’t quiet as he comes up behind Steve, letting his sneakers crunch across pebbles and dying grass to signal his arrival, and he watches as Steve bends to pick something up off the ground – a stone, Eddie realizes, as Steve draws back and flicks it out over the water, sending it skipping across the surface. 

It bounces two, three, four times, and then sinks into the water several yards out. 

“How’d you know I’d be here?” Steve asks without looking over as Eddie comes to stand next to him. 

Eddie doesn’t mention how many places he’d checked before coming here. Instead, he glances around and finds a smooth, flat stone of his own. “When you’re sad, you go to Robin,” he says (or me, he doesn’t say; you used to come to me), “but when you’re angry, you want to be alone, because it still scares you. You’re afraid you’ll say or do something you regret, and you won’t be able to take it back.” 

Eddie sends the stone skipping out over the lake; one, two, three jumps, and it sinks. 

Steve scoffs, picking another stone up out of the dirt. “Yeah, you know me so well,” he mutters. He doesn’t bother skipping the rock in his hand; he hurls it like a baseball over a field of water, where it lands and sinks with a loud plunk. “So fucking well.” 

“I thought I did,” Eddie says. “I thought I was doing alright, until tonight. That I could give you what you needed and make you feel like… like I see you.” 

“Dinner in the park was nice,” Steve mutters. “The diner date was a shitty idea.” 

“Yeah, I get that now,” Eddie replies ruefully. 

“I just– Where was all of this before?” Steve finally turns to look at him, eyes demanding in the silvery light. “You know all of this about me, you were paying attention and you saw all of this, but you just – what? Ignored how I was feeling, anyway?” 

“No,” Eddie says. “I didn’t– I wasn’t ignoring you, I was ignoring everything. You, me, the whole situation – I thought I had it figured out and I didn’t let myself think about it any other way.” Eddie pulls in a breath, trying to keep calm. “I’m not trying to make excuses, okay? I’m not saying it was okay, I know that I hurt you, and I’m trying to make up for it, and you keep saying you’ll let me, and then– and then I fuck up and you shut down again, and I don’t know how to fix it.” 

Steve glances away. He kneels down to pick up another rock, but doesn’t immediately throw it. Instead, he stands for a moment, worrying the surface of it with his thumb. 

“I’m sorry for jerking you around,” he says quietly. “That wasn’t fair. I thought I was ready, but I just– I still don’t understand why you’re doing this.” 

“I told you: I fucked up and I hurt you and I want to make it better–” 

“But why?” Steve pushes, looking back over at Eddie. “Why do you even want me? Is it that you miss the sex, or – just that I threatened to take everything away? Because I was there, for months, loving you, even before we slept together, and falling deeper after that, and you didn’t even notice. It wasn’t good enough for you then, so why is it suddenly good enough now?” 

Steve’s voice cracks, and a little piece of Eddie goes with it. 

“Steve, no. It was always good enough, you were always good enough.” Eddie turns and takes a step towards Steve, instinctively trying to bridge the gap between them; Steve doesn’t step away, but he watches Eddie warily. “I didn’t– I didn’t know what I was looking at. I didn’t understand.” 

Steve doesn’t say anything, just crosses his arms over his chest, stone still clutched, forgotten, in one hand. 

“I mean, it’s like I had the world’s most precious object in my hands, and I didn’t know what it was, and I used it as a fucking paperweight,” Eddie manages. “No one has ever loved me the way you did. No one has ever put as much work into – into making me feel good, making me happy, doing things for me and teaching me how to do them and – and bringing me fucking flowers. You’re like something out of a fucking storybook, Steve, and I didn’t think I would ever have or… deserve that, so I didn’t even let myself consider it. 

“And that’s not an excuse, I get it. It’s not. It’s just– it’s the only reason I can give you. And I’ve–” Eddie breaks off, takes a breath, and pushes on; Steve needs to hear all of it, deserves to hear all of it. “I’ve never been in love before. So even though it was sitting right on my fucking chest the entire time, I didn’t recognize it for what it was. It should’ve been all yours, but I couldn’t even name it, and I’m sorry.” 

Steve pulls in a sharp, shuddery breath at the end of Eddie’s confession, watching him now with wide and startled eyes. 

“Can you say it?” he asks softly. 

“What?” Eddie asks, thrown by the unexpected question. 

“Can you say it? Tell me that you love me?” Steve’s voice nearly chokes around the words, and he’s staring at Eddie with so much trepidation that it’s almost smothering out the hope that’s there beneath it. 

“I love you,” Eddie says automatically, without even having to think, because it’s true. “I love you. Of course I love you, Steve, holy shit. I love having you around, I love when you’re being selfless and kind and I love when you’re being petty and bitchy and I love when you listen to me and when you tell me about what you like and I love you when you’re in my bed and I love you when you’re angry at me and I can’t believe I’ve never said it before because now it won’t stop coming out–” 

The problem is solved when Steve takes two steps forward, drops the stone he’s been holding at their feet, puts one hand on Eddie’s jaw, leans in, and cuts him off with a kiss. And in spite of the words that had just been streaming from Eddie’s mouth, he has absolutely no trouble immediately getting with the program and kissing back. 

He can’t help the “I love you” that slips out when Steve pulls away, but then he grips the front of Steve’s jacket and reels him back in for another kiss. 

“I love you, I love you, I promise I do,” Eddie manages between presses of lips. “I’m going to show you every day if you let me, I will.” 

“Yeah,” Steve says shakily, finally breaking their connection so he can bury his face in the crook of Eddie’s neck, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s middle and holding him tight. “Yeah, okay.” 

Eddie’s arms are around Steve’s shoulders in an instant, pulling him closer still. “Okay.” 

“I love you, too. I still do,” Steve says, a little muffled. 

Eddie inhales sharply. He’d had a feeling – Steve Harrington isn’t really the sort of person who ever stops loving someone, not really, but having it confirmed is like a burst of pleasant static in his chest. He lets one hand slide up over the back of Steve’s neck and into his hair, cradling his head, and Steve nuzzles in a bit closer, only to make Eddie flinch when the cold tip of his nose brushes his neck. 

“Jesus, you’re cold,” Eddie says, running his other hand down Steve’s back and finally noting how little body warmth seeps through his jacket. 

“Been out here a while,” Steve mumbles. “Told you I should’ve worn something heavier.” 

“Shit, uh–” Eddie ignores Steve’s annoyed little sigh when he’s forced to pull away so that Eddie can shimmy out of his battle jacket and hold it out for him. “Here. Might help.” 

Slowly, Steve lifts his hand to take the jacket, glancing up at Eddie and raising his eyebrows. “You wanna talk about recreating history…” 

For a long moment, Eddie stares, uncomprehending, until Steve’s eyes flick out towards the lake and then back towards the vest. 

“Oh, shit,” Eddie hisses. “Wait, no, I wasn’t trying to–” 

“Relax,” Steve cuts in, smirking as he shrugs the vest over his own jacket and then steps back into Eddie’s space. “I’m teasing.” 

Eddie tries to frown at Steve, but he can’t maintain it as Steve slips his arms under his leather jacket and around his waist and pecks him on the cheek. 

“You making fun of my chivalry, Harrington?” Eddie grumbles, slinging his arms back around Steve’s shoulders. 

“Little bit,” Steve answers, before resting his chin on Eddie’s shoulder and relaxing against him so heavily that Eddie has to readjust his center of gravity. 

They stand there on the shore for a bit longer, swaying together in the comfort of what they’ve both been missing, until Eddie’s fingers begin to get cold. The late October chill is starting to bite, and Eddie can feel the cool breeze coming in off the lake. 

“So…” Eddie says quietly, pulling reluctantly back from Steve; he knows they’ll need to go back to their cars soon, but he can’t leave without addressing one last thing. “If we’re really doing this... And– and we are?” 

Steve nods. “Yeah. I want– I really want to try again.” 

“Okay.” Eddie nods, unable to help the nearly reflexive little smile that quirks up at that. “Then I’m gonna do my best to be better and pay more attention, but I need you to tell me when you want something. When you need something.” He reaches up and cups Steve’s jaw, cold skin on cold skin, swiping his thumbs across Steve’s cheeks. “I know you’re not used to doing that with people, but I need you to. I want to give you what you want, but I can’t unless you tell me. Okay?” 

Slowly, Steve nods. “I’ll try,” he says, a little hoarse. 

Still smiling, Eddie leans in for a kiss, and Steve meets him halfway. 

It doesn’t last long; it’s dark, and they’re both cold and tired, and Steve is the first to pull away, heaving another put-upon sigh. 

“Okay, let’s go home,” he says, grabbing Eddie by the hand and leading him back towards where they’d parked. 

Eddie spends a moment furiously working the statement over in his head, trying to figure out what “home” means—Eddie’s place? Steve’s place? Each to their respective houses?—but he’s saved from having to ask when Steve glances back over his shoulder at him. 

“You go first, I’ll follow,” he says, and Eddie relaxes. 

Home it is. 

Though it genuinely hadn’t been his intent at the start of the evening, they do both end up in Eddie’s bed. Steve steals a set of Eddie’s pajamas and claims the same side of the mattress that he always has, and they both drift off curled into one another’s space. 

It’s the best Eddie’s slept in weeks.

Part 10

-

Tag List: (Currently full! Message me if you'd like off the ride): @bushbees @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @gleek4twd @hellfireone @westifer-dead @anne-bennett-cosplayer @starman-jpg @mugloversonly @swimmingbirdrunningrock @alycatavatar @y4r3luv @rhapsodyinalto @vinteraltus @lilpomelito @tillystealeaves @noctxrn-e @pearynice @giverobinagfbrigade @novacorpsrecruit @hotluncheddie @strangersteddierthings @alongcomesaspider @theheadlessphilosopher @jettestar @rajumat @garden-of-gay @jamieweasley13 @dam28lh @oldwitcheshat @lololol-1234 @perfectlysensiblenonsense @salty-h0e @r0binscript @mavernanche @back2beesness @a-lovely-craziness @paintsplatteredandimperfect @redbullgivescaswings @emmabubbles @heartstarstar-blog @thesuninyaface @thatonebisexualman @fruitandbubbles @erinharvelle @m-owo-n @theystoodandplayedwithsilence @surroundedbyconfusion @luthienstormblessed @3ldr1tchang3l @pansexuality-activated

[aayakashii]

I’m so glad someone sent in a SH ask I’ve been too shy to! I loved it 💕 could you do another one with the remanding Hotarubi boys and Lyca?

ofc!!! I'm happy you liked it ๑´ ³)˘ᵕ˘៸៸ I'm gonna be honest, Haku's part kinda left me giggling and kicking my feet so I hope you like it as well fkfjdkdj

Warning: sh mentioned, a bit more angst on Zenji's part

"How did you get hurt?" Lyca says, grabbing your arms as soon as he noticed the fading scars.

You open and close your mouth, wordlessly, trying to think of ways to explain it to him. Lyca probably never heard or read about issues like yours. Would it be better to lie? Weave a story that wouldn't have him pity you?

You look at the earnest gaze he gives you, and you sigh. He deserves your honesty.

"I... I hurt myself. I'm the one who did this" you say, softly, knowing he would probably have more questions.

"Why would you do this?" he scrunched his face. "Is it a human thing?"

You hum, in thought.

"I guess you could say so." you reply, slowly, thinking of the proper words to explain it to him "Sometimes, when some humans are feeling very sad and like everything is a horrible mess, they feel like doing this gives them a sense of control. Not everyone does this. But, sometimes, some very depressed people might do it to feel some relief."

Lyca's wolf ears flatten against his head.

"I don't... really get it but... you were very depressed?" he mumbles, fingers tracing the little lines on your skin.

You shrug.

"I was in a dark place some time ago. I'm feeling better now, I promise" you say, and ruffle his hair.

Lyca lift his head up, yellow eyes gazing yours with determination.

"If you say you're okay now, I'll believe you. But promise me you won't try to hurt yourself again."

"I promi-" you begin to say, but he interrupts you.

"You can't lie! I'll know if you hurt yourself! I can smell you well, you know!" his face looks scrunched in anger, but his ears stay flattened on his head and his tail curls down.

You smile and pat his head again.

"I promise."

"My dear, how I wish I could have kept you safe from your struggles."

Zenji's voice, usually boisterous, spoke to you in a soft tone as he looked at the scars on your thighs while you slept.

You murmured his name in your sleep, unconsciously recognizing his presence in your room (his nightly visits became a routine, after all) and you held out your hand towards him.

His hand fazed through your skin, yet he still insisted on trying to touch you and comfort you as you slept.

He sat on your bed, eyes fixed on your peaceful figure, and he knew that those were scars from battles fought long ago – battles you have won. But it still pained him that he wasn't close to you since forever, that he wasn't able to protect you when you needed him but didn't know of him.

Even if he needed to write odysseys upon odysseys, singing praises to you throughout your whole life, just so you'd never feel so lost that you had to hurt yourself to find your footing again, he would do it.

Zenji would gladly haunt you for eternity, if it meant keeping you safe from your demons, in any way he could.

"Is this something you could tell me?" Haku squeezed your hand as he looked as the fading lines on your wrist, as you two held hands, strolling together on the beach.

You shook your head.

"There isn't a specific thing to say about it. I was in a bad place and made a choice that left these scars on me. It just... happened like that. I'm fine now, but also I don't regret them, nor do I feel ashamed. I did what I could to survive."

Haku stopped on his tracks and stared deeply into your eyes. He sighed, a faint smile gracing his face, and brought your wrist to his lips, kissing each scar.

"You're very strong. You should give me some chances to be your savior, you know? How am I ever going to look cool for you?" he said after kissing the last scar, a smirk playing on his lips as his eyes shined against the twilight.

You playfully tapped his head to shush him as you giggled.

He squeezed your hand once again.

"If you ever need to fight to survive again, I want you to rely on me. Is that okay for me to ask? I'll understand if you'd rather not have me all up in your business, though."

You shook your head and brought your hand to his cheek, smiling as he leaned against your touch.

"I'll be more than happy to have you with me in any moment of my life, whether I'm struggling or not, whether I'm sad or happy."

"This sounds a lot like a marriage vow, you know?" he smirked again and winked playfully.

"Oh, shut up." you patted his cheek and walked away, with him chuckling as he hurried after you.

Masterlist

[noxtivagus]

SHADOWBRINGERS.... listening to the song again n oh god i love the lyrics so so much we r ignoring the fact that i have to wake up in like less than 4 hours

[borathae]

↳ Index [Chapter 39 - Peg]

Pairing: Taehyung x f.Reader

Warnings: Smut, switching but it is mostly: sub!Taehyung & soft Dom!Reader, basically she goes all 🥴 once he returns the favour, yk?, sex on a chaise lounge in front of a mirror, making out, body worshipping, first time pegging, he calls her Empress, praise & good boy kink, he wants to be called breedable, he strips for her, rimjob, anal fingering, handjob, frotting with her strap & his dick, he is such a cutie pattootie, subby boy tears, a lil bit of overstimulation for him, nipple & breast play, oral (f.receiving), face sitting, vaginal fingering, squirting, multiple orgasms (f.receiving), this is lovemaking at its finest, ah yes he sits on her lap then she gives it to him missionary, i’m gonna bite something this is so sensual & full of emotion

Wordcount: 13.3k

a/n: *horny in love noises*

Classical music on a record player greets you. The scent of expensive red wine and acrylic paints lingers in the air. Jungkook and Yoongi left after early morning breakfast. Yoongi needed to gain back his strength and therefore the two vampires went out hunting. They haven’t returned yet. Jimin went into town as well, meeting up with Hoseok in their dance studio. They won't be back until later. Which leaves you alone at the estate and therefore with an opportunity to talk to Taehyung. He deserves a chance at talking everything out.

“My darling?” you try.

Taehyung is sitting on the floor, painting the clouds of his newest artwork. He doesn’t lift his head. 

“You are awake. Welcome back”, he says dryly.

“Yeah uhm…can I talk to you or are you busy?” you ask him. 

“Depends on what you are going to say”, he murmurs. 

“I wanted to start with an apology.”

Taehyung stops moving his brush and lifts his eyes. Just his eyes. 

“I know that I’m admitting it way too late, but I wasn’t myself lately and because of it I hurt you.”

Taehyung takes a deep breath, straightening up.

“I am not upset about that. We already solved this issue”, he says.

“So what are you upset about then? I want to fix it.”

“Your stubbornness.”

“I…see.”

“And what you said to me. You told me that you hated me. Why would you say that? I was merely trying to prevent you from hurting yourself even more and you said something so awful.”

“I know, I-”, you stop in your steps as you hurried closer to him without asking, “can I come closer?”

“Yes.” 

“Tae, my darling”, you say, hurrying to him. You sit down next to him, placing your hand on his knee, “I regret saying what I said. I don’t hate you and telling you something like this was awful of me to do. I’m so sorry.”

Taehyung acknowledges you with a nod of his head. He places his brush in the glass of dirty paint water and rests his hand atop yours.

“I am also asking you to never call me by my full name again. I don’t want to be Kim Taehyung to you, I want to be your darling or sweetest or Tae. Just anything other than my full name”, he widens his eyes pleadingly, “please”, he whispers. 

“I understand. It must have hurt to be addressed this way. I won’t do it again and I’m sorry that I even did it in the first place.” 

“Thank you”, Taehyung says, looking relieved, “it feels good to be apologised to.”

“It’s what you deserve”, you give him a warm smile, “I put you through so much lately and I gotta own up to my shit.”

“Thank you. I really needed to hear this from you.”

“Of course, my darling”, you say, caressing his knee, “I will do better from now on. No more mad witch moments, promise.”

Taehyung laughs, lowering his eyes shyly. You snicker, nudging him gently. 

“Can I give you a kiss, my sweetest?” you ask him.

He nods his head, leaning in with his eyes closed. It is a chaste kiss. Sweet and soft and meant to remind you how lovely it is to kiss each other.

You pull back, eyes racing between Taehyung’s as your hand caresses his knee. 

“I”, he begins, “I was so worried for you”, he confesses, “I kept checking up on you, but you wouldn’t wake. Are you truly alright now? Is Yoongi alright?”

“We’re both okay”, you assure him, “I feel rested and Yoongi is alright. He is already out hunting with Kook. I actually did it, Tae. I fixed everything.”

“I know. I still can’t believe that you did. You worried me greatly.”

“You don’t have to worry anymore, sweetest. I slept so well and I feel so refreshed.”

“Yes? Did you eat already?”

“I did. I ate the yummiest carbonara ever. I haven’t felt that full in ages. It’s nice to enjoy food again.”

“That’s good to hear”, Taehyung says and smiles softly.

You retort it and somehow this makes his smile fall. He furrows his brows and pouts sadly.

“What’s the matter, darling?” you ask him.

“I just...” his voice pitches in emotion as he speaks, “it’s been too long since I’ve seen you smile”, he confesses and throws his hand over his mouth to muffle his sob. He squeezes his eyes shut, curling into himself as he sobs again.

“Tae, my darling”, you gasp and pull him into a hug instantly, “I’m here, don’t cry.”

His face falls into the crook of your neck, his arms close around you tightly. He presses out a squeaky sob, twisting the fabric of your jumper.

“It hurt so much to see you fail and to be helpless myself”, he confesses, “I wanted to keep you safe and yet had to watch you kill yourself slowly. I was in so much pain.”

“You did everything you could do. I know it is easier said than done, but please don’t blame yourself.”

“But I do. I know you are healed again, but I feel so guilty”, Taehyung says and shudders in a sob, “I should have done so much more.”

“No, Tae. Darling”, you shake him off just so you can cradle his face. He looks up at you with tear-filled eyes and his lips trembling as he holds back his sobs, “I would have died without you. I’m not lying to you when I tell you that. You were the one who kept me alive. You fed me, forced me to sleep, held me so I could rest even if I pretend that I didn’t need to rest and you helped me with my magic as much as you could. If you didn’t take care of me, I would have worked myself to death.”

He spills tears, whimpering incredibly sadly.

You wipe his tears away, tilting his head so you could kiss his forehead. Taehyung exhales shakily because of  it.

“You did the most important job by keeping me alive, my sweetest Tae”, you whisper, running your thumbs over his temples, “and I won’t ever take your support for granted. So thank you for everything you did these past nine weeks and also I’m sorry for everything you had to endure.”

Taehyung lifts his head. He stopped crying, but looks at you with glassy eyes. His lips aren’t trembling anymore, but still pout.

“I know it will still take some time for us to return to normalcy and I don’t expect you to accept my apology. When you still need some time to yourself, then-”

“I don’t want time to myself”, Taehyung interrupts you, “all I have wanted for these past nine weeks was to know that you were alright and that I could rest my eyes without fearing that you are dying somewhere I can’t find you. I want to be with you, ___ and I want to know that you are healthy.”

“And I want to be with you, Tae”, you tell him and give him a reassuring smile, “and I’m healthy. I’m okay now. At least my body is.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have to work on my magic. Meredith told me that I have lots of chaos in my head and that if I don’t work on my focus, I might end up dying.”

“What?” Taehyung chokes out. He shakes his head vigorously, “no. No, please don’t.”

You stop him with a gentle touch to his cheeks, “I won’t die”, you whisper, kissing the tip of his nose, “I will have Yoongi teaching me control, Meredith offered me her help as well and I will have you…”, you smile, tracing his lips, “…by my side, being my beautiful darling and my most loved Tae.”

“So you love me?” he whispers.

“I love you so much that I want to move mountains for you”, you say and giggle, “maybe one day I will, when I know how to focus my magic.”

Taehyung laughs. Honestly and shyly. You laugh with him, tracing the smile lines appearing on his cheeks. He looks so beautiful when he smiles.

“You would truly move mountains for me?” he asks.

“Yes I would, my darling Tae.”

“Wow”,  he breathes and exhales shakily. He lowers his eyes for a moment. Inhale. Exhale. He lifts his head and smiles, pulling you into a tight hug. The kind of hug, which lets you know that everything was okay again between you and him. The kind of hug, which consumes you. And the kind of hug, which makes you glad that despite all the hurdles you and he had to climb over, you were still one. You close your arms around him and bury your hand in his hair. Just as Taehyung does to you. And you kiss his neck, while he makes sure he reminds his heart how you smell when you are healthy.

And as you do, the record on his player comes to an end, filling the room with the rhythmic clicking of the needle moving without purpose. But it had purpose to you and it had purpose to him, because it meant that the hard times came to an end. The music stopped and with it, showcased that the problems and struggles and tears were now truly a thing of the past.

All you had to do now was to flip the record and start new songs. Unheard songs of good days, warm hugs and loving memories.

You and he move back at the same time, looking deep into each others’ eyes.

“The music stopped”, you whisper.

“I know”, he whispers back.

“Should we get up and flip the record?”

“Let it turn. I don’t want you to slip away again”, he says.

“I can live with that”, you say with your eyes racing over his features. You can’t look away. He is so beautiful.

His eyes flit to your lips, his tongue darts out to wet his own, “darling, can we kiss again?”

“Of course, I would love nothing more than that”, you say and cup his cheek, allowing your eyes to fall closed as you lose yourself in the kiss. 

Taehyung closes his eyes, fingers closing around your wrists to hold them gently.

He tastes like red wine and vanilla lip balm. His lips are so soft, moving against yours slowly and almost tentatively. His breath swirls over your cheek as he exhales through his nose and just seconds later, his fingertips replace the sensation. He traces your cheek and cups it gently, chasing you to deepen the kiss. 

Your hand slips to the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair. It feels so soft between your fingers, wrapping around you as if this was its only purpose. To be held and caressed by you. And perhaps it was. It would explain why Taehyung shivered oh so much as you did.

Taehyung whimpers. It has been too long since you last kissed him like that. He doesn’t blame you. He is aware that you grieved. You didn’t blame him when he refused intimacy for months on end because of his grief. And so he didn’t do either. Not for one second he blamed you for grieving the way you did. But he can’t deny that he missed your touches greatly, needing nothing more than to be closer to you. Closer. Oh so much closer. 

He gets on his knees, holds your face to keep kissing you and draws closer. He sits down on your lap, lifting his shoulders to his ears as this was the only way to kiss you whilst holding your face. 

You smile, running your hands down his back until you can hold his hips. He is comfortably heavy on your lap, sharing heat with you that way. You like the feeling a lot. He is so, so warm and his thighs are so soft as you feel them up. 

Taehyung breaks the kiss because of it, giggling shyly as he sways his shoulders from side to side. 

“Not there please”, he whispers, reaching down to fix the position of your hands. They were caressing his inner thighs before that, now resting on his hips. Taehyung squirms and sways his shoulders again, looking at you cutely.

“Why?” you ask him.

“I’m too sensitive”, he confesses.

“I see”, you smile, “you’re really precious, Tae sweetest”, you add, making him sway and pull the cutest face in existence. It makes his cheeks stick out and appear oh so soft and squishy.

You cup them because that is all they deserve to be. Held and caressed. And kissed. You pull his head closer, placing a soft kiss on each of his cheeks. He giggles because of it, closing his eyes. His fingers slip to your chest, resting there without any ulterior motive. The mere connection is enough for him.

“My sweetest darling”, you whisper, trailing your kisses to his jawline, “you’re my prettiest. Yes, you are.”  

Taehyung sways happily, almost having to squeal from how good you make him feel. You dance your fingers up his torso, brushing against the edge of his shirt on accident. It slips off his shoulder, revealing his collarbone to your lips. Taehyung giggles with the first kiss, swaying his shoulders cutely. It makes you lift your head, eyes running over his pretty stature. 

“Do you think that I am beautiful?” he asks you, holding his breath afterwards.

“Of course I do. You are so beautiful. Tae”, you gasp, touching his waist gently, “Tae, my darling, do you think that I don’t find you beautiful?”

He shakes his head, hiding his mouth behind his little fists.

“I wanted to be praised”, he confesses and giggles, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“I see”, you smile, “well if that’s so, then I think that you are the most beautiful”, you say, caressing his waist. 

Taehyung wiggles and drops his hands to instead fumble with the buttons of his shirt. He opens the first one, making the shirt slip down even more. His eyes are glued to your face, drinking in your every change of reaction. He is gnawing on his lower lip cutely.

You allow him to work with bated breath. You know what he is planning to do and it excites you so very much. Taehyung is so talented in undressing. Especially when he feels submissive that night. He is so sensual and pretty in his movements and knows exactly how to make your heart flutter. Tonight is now different, your heart flutters like crazy because of him.

Another button opens, the shirt slips down his other shoulder as well, now sitting around his elbows and reaching him just above his nipples. One little movement and they would be exposed as well. He drops his hands to your lap, putting some of his weight on your thighs as he rocks back and forth a few times. His eyes are full of playful seduction and innocent curiosity. He wants you to take the next step, to decide what will happen, to give in to your desires.

“You are prettier than art, my darling”, you praise him, tracing the edge of his shirt. Your fingertips tickle his skin, eliciting goosebumps all over his chest. 

Taehyung sticks his butt out, arching his chest closer to you. It happens willfully that he bites down on his lower lip, eyes widening just enough to give him a cute puppy-like appearance.

You run your fingers up his chest, stopping by his defined collarbones to trace them.

“Like touching moonlight”, you whisper, melting in fondness when Taehyung’s eyes soften in adoration, “I haven’t said that in ages, have I?”

He shakes his head, shimmying closer just enough that you can see the sparkles in his pretty eyes. 

“My body feels so sensitive”, he whispers, eyes racing between yours, “everything you say and do makes my skin prickle.”

“It does?”

“Yes. Yes, it does. So very much. I, I want to be touched”, he says, “can we continue? It feels so good.”

“Of course. Oh, my darling”, you whisper, giving Taehyung a soft tug on his hair to tilt his head back.

“Ah”, he moans, laughing shyly in the newly exposed position you nudged him into. He stops laughing just seconds later when he feels your lips and tongue on his neck. He squeezes his thighs together on your lap, chasing the friction of you with rolls of his hips. Sensitive. So sensitive. Every touch feels like magic.

"I want to keep touching you. You deserve to be touched and explored and worshipped", you whisper between neck kisses, playing with his hair slowly. You don’t have to hold it anymore, Taehyung stays in this position willingly.

He begins unbuttoning his shirt even more, doing so with shaky fingers. He hopes that you will like the surprise. He wants to be your pretty good boy tonight. 

The fabric opens, brushing over his skin and leaving goosebumps behind. He wants your fingertips to replicate the sensation.

Taehyung moves away from your kiss and takes your hands. You allow him, watching him with fond curiosity. The taste of him lingers on your lips, making you ache for more. But you know better than to stress him. Tonight is all about him.

He guides your hands to his tummy, drawing attention to it and with it your eyes. 

“Look at you”, you whisper. His abs faded over the terrible year he had. The softest, most beautiful stomach replaced them. You touch him, dancing your fingertips over his tender skin.

Taehyung sighs, squirming shyly because the touch feels so very good. 

“How are you so beautiful, my sweetest?” you ask him, cupping his waist just to squeeze it gently, “tell me, how shall I ever function when you are so pretty?”

Taehyung giggles. He giggles loudly and cutely. And he wiggles his shoulders as he does. 

“More please”, he begs with sparkly eyes. He takes off his shirt, presenting himself with a sensual arch of his back afterwards, “more please.”

You smile at him, running your hands up his torso along the paths of his soft tummy and later chest. You stop right under his nipples, eliciting an excited gasp from him.

“My darling boy”, you whisper, brushing your thumbs over his nipples. 

“Oh”, Taehyung moans, shuddering on your lap. 

His nipples are hard within seconds. You massage them slowly, basking in how much he squirms because of it. His skin is covered in goosebumps, his cheeks are flushed just slightly. He giggles. 

“Do you like that?” you ask in a fond chuckle.

Taehyung giggles and nods his head.

“Yes?”

“Yes. So much”, and there he goes, giggling again, “I’m so sensitive.”

“I know, my sweetest. You’re doing so very well.”

“Can you fuck me?” Taehyung asks in a whisper and squirms.

“You want me to fuck you?” you gasp for his question surprised you. 

Taehyung couldn’t help it. You praised him and that makes him very desperate.

“Yes…peg me. I, I-” he blushes, “I, ah”, he manages to get out. It is enough for you to understand how desperately needy he was for you. 

“Pegging? What is that?”

“You fuck me with a strap on”, he explains, “I promise it feels like heaven to you. I own the one which pleasures you as well.”

“That sounds so hot. I can fuck you too? That’s possible?”

Taehyung nods his head, squirming on your lap.

“Wow…” you whisper, “I really want to do this with you.”

Taehyung laughs breathily, “I’m so happy”, he confesses and cups your face, “shall we put it on?”

“Yes.”

And so you leave his atelier with excited giggles on your lips.

Taehyung opens the secret door and leads you inside. It was red, made out of wood and located behind his coats in his dressing room. You almost couldn’t believe your eyes the first time he showed it to you, calling it the coolest thing right after his secret mural door. 

You then proceeded to believe your eyes even less when Taehyung showed you what lies behind those doors. A playroom with an array of toys and kinky furniture everywhere. The ceilings were covered in mirrors and the walls were the darkest burgundy. That night, he showed you the beauty of owning such a room. You sometimes think of that night and get wet. 

Taehyung guides you to his dildo collection, walking with a happy skip. 

“I am so excited”, he confesses, “I've dreamt of being your bottom for so long.”

“That’s hot, Tae. Like really hot.”

Taehyung pulls out the lowest drawer, revealing a collection of harnesses.

“Pick one”, he tells you.

You run your eyes over them. They all looked well-taken care of. They are so hot. Thinking about wearing them turns you on.

“You have so many.”

“Yes, I am an avid collector. You know me”, he says and snickers, “besides, I need to be prepared for the annual vampire orgy.”

You sneak a glance at him.

“How come I've never heard of that before?”

“I sadly had to miss out on it for two consecutive years because of what happened. But I am planning to organise a very special orgy this coming summer.”

“Ah I see”, you chuckle, “well, I’m not one to stop you. Do warn me though, so I can flee before I become food.”

Taehyung chuckles.

“Don’t you worry, I will warn you. Yoongi loathes these orgies, so I figure he will take you somewhere fancy.”

“I'm counting on it”, you say and pick up a purple leather harness, “I like this one.”

“Oh it will look beautiful on you. Do you want to put it on?”

“Yes, I would love to put it on.”

And so Taehyung helps you undress yourself and then put on the harness. He shows you what to put on so you would feel the fuck as well and together you try it out. You really like the sensation and therefore decide to keep it on. Then Taehyung helps you with securing the strap in the back, working diligently as you share in comfortable and intimate silence. He travels his hands over your waist until he can massage the part of your body where your hips meet your pubic area. He kisses your shoulder, resting his chin on it afterwards.

“How are you feeling?” he asks you.

“Good. It feels so nice”, you answer him, chasing his touch.

Taehyung runs his hands closer to your middle, drawing your eyes down to them. He traces the dildo, before wrapping his fingers around its base. You gasp as if he truly touched you. If you concentrate hard enough, you can almost feel his touch.

“How does it feel to have a cock?” he asks, jerking you off slowly.

You watch him with blown-out pupils and with your breathing quickening. His fingers glide over your silicone length so gracefully, looking oh so tempting.

“It kind of feels exciting”, you confess.

“Once you mastered your magic, I can show you magnificent spells. Spells, which you won’t believe are possible”, he whispers.

“Really?”

“Mhm, spells that will make your strap feel as if it was a real cock.”

“I can do that?”

“Mhm”, he stubs your neck with his nose, “with the right teacher.”

You chuckle and sigh at the same time, chasing his fist in a sensual roll of your hips. You reach behind yourself, twisting a bundle of his hair.

“Mhhm Tae”, you purr, resting your head against his chest, “I get a feeling that you will show me the most twisted of spells.”

He holds his breath, looking at you nervously. Did he go too far?

“I kinda love it”, you add and laugh lazily, “fuck, you drive me insane.”

Taehyung moans needily, feeling his knees buckle.

“I want to be fucked, please”, he begs.

You open your eyes and turn your head as best as possible to look at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, please.”

You turn, placing your hands on his chest. A playful smirk curls your lips, your eyes lower in seduction.

“I want to fuck you so good, Tae”, you rasp.

“Oh”, he lets out and sways, “oh god, ___”, he whispers shakily, “I, I don’t want to do it here.”

“Yeah? Just lead the way.”

He nods his head vigorously and squirms out of your touch. He flees from you in a happy skip, giggling as he does. You follow him with a fond smile. He is leading you outside to the chaise lounge in the dressing room. It was big enough to house two big people comfortably and it was of a deep purple colour. 

“You’re so cute”, you say, gazing at Taehyung.

“I feel so pretty”, Taehyung says and twirls, stopping with a sensual sway of his shoulders. His lower lip slips between his teeth, his delicate hands run down his torso. He widens his eyes at you. Playfully just as much as shyly.

“Am I pretty?” he asks, swaying his shoulders.

“Of course you are. My prettiest”, you say. 

Taehyung giggles and lowers his eyes bashfully. 

“Can I show myself to you?” he asks, dancing his fingers down to the hem of his pants. 

“I would love nothing more”, you say, ogling the prominent dent in his pants. Oh how you crave to see him. 

Taehyung opens the prettily done bow of his pants, tugging on it slowly. Then he hooks his fingers in the hem, going slow in exposing himself. First his groomed pubes. They tease you for more, guiding your eyes down to his pretty cock. Taehyung is holding the pants in such a way that all you can see is its girthy base. Only a glimpse. Nothing but a little appetizer.

The anticipation makes you lick your lips. You crave him like nothing else. 

Taehyung moves again. His shaft. Veiny and oh so very clearly hard. How it stays in his pants is a mystery to you.

“I want you”, you confess in a hushed whisper. 

Taehyung sways his shoulders and tugs on his pants. His cock springs free. You gasp, following it with hungry eyes. It throbs just once, dribbling the prettiest pearls of excitement. Dark flushed cock against the darkest pubes. Oh the view drives you crazy. 

You step closer, seeking him. You can’t control yourself any longer. You need him like air. 

Taehyung however flees you. He steps back and giggles, lets you grab air, taunts you with an innocent look. 

Your eyes meet. The desperation in your gaze makes his cock throb again.

“No touching”, he says and sways his shoulders adorably. 

“You drive me insane”, you whisper, gazing at his cock, “please let me touch. You’re so beautiful.”

Taehyung shakes his head and smiles cutely. He touches himself. No movements. He merely wraps his elegant fingers around his girthy shaft to hold his cock in place. You stare and salivate. Honestly if your cock was real, it would be twitching like crazy right now. 

“What do you want to do to me?” he asks, squeezing down on his veins until his flushed tip leaks little droplets of temptation. Oh how tempted you are to taste him.

“What?”

“What do you want to do to me?”

This is a game to him. He wants to rile you up, needs you to describe the kinky shit to him. And you fucking love playing. You draw closer just a little. Not too much. You don’t want him to flee again. Oh how you want him.

“I want to take your cock and jerk it off until it’s throbbing.”

“Like this?” Taehyung asks and massages his cock. 

“Yeah…” you watch it with a tingling stomach. He is leaking so much.

“What else?” he sighs, putting on the prettiest show as he jerks himself. You draw closer. Taehyung flees.

Your gazes meet.

He giggles innocently.

You feel angry in desperation.

“Tell me the truth”, he taunts with sparkling eyes. 

“I want to take you and bend you over that chaise lounge, I want to jerk your pretty cock and fuck your tight ass until you're crying. And honestly if you fucking flee one more time, I’m actually gonna lose it.”

Taehyung moans, dropping his cock to instead grip his own waist. 

“Empress”, he pleads.

You have him. You won. You step closer and Taehyung feels his knees buckle. Your strap graces his cock, sending a jolt of electricity through him. You reach up and take his chin between two of your fingers.

“Get on this stupid piece of furniture now and let me do my goddamn thing”, you rasp. 

“I want to kiss your feet”, Taehyung croaks, looking utterly star struck.

“You can do that later”, you say and release his chin. 

Taehyung springs into action instantly. He kneels down on the chaise lounge, placing his hands on the backrest of it. Like this, he can arch his back and therefore flaunt his round bubble butt. 

You feel your tummy flutter at the view. He is so sexy, moving so temptingly sensual.

He looks over his shoulder, fluttering his lashes at you. 

“Am I breedable, Empress?”

“Excuse me?” you gasp, widening your eyes. 

Taehyung moans softly and arches his back. Like this, his pretty hole is exposed. 

“Am I a pretty boy, Empress?” 

“O-of course you are, damn”, you clear your throat, “goddamn it, Tae. You are so hot like this.”

Taehyung wiggles his hips and bends over, presenting his untouched hole to you.

“You can do whatever you want to me. I'm breedable and good.”

“You’re insane for talking like this.”

“Am I embarrassing?”

“Of course not. You’re just too much, I’m so fucking wet.”

He poses for you with a soft moan, looking oh so proud of himself. 

You step closer, having to touch him. He tenses up and shudders, moaning softly. You feel him up. His skin is soft. He is burning up. 

“You drive me insane, Tae. Actually insane”, you whisper, drinking in the view. Round buttocks and pretty hole. It’s not as pink as Jungkook’s is. It’s darker - matching his cock - but just as pretty. Pretty and oh so fucking tempting. Part of you wants to stuff it with your strap right here and now, while another part of you wants to explore it for hours. Oh, you can’t get enough of this man.

“Am I good enough?” he asks breathily, “does my hole please you?”

“Taehyung, I'm so bloody obsessed that it’s hard to breathe. All I want to do is lick it.”

Taehyung moans, fluttering his lashes.

“Please lick me, Empress”, he begs and arches his back. 

“Mhhhm Tae, you’re so…” , you drift off as your eyes run over his untouched hole. You have to change that. You connect your thumb with his rim. Taehyung gasps and arches into your touch, “you’ve got such a pretty hole”, you praise him. 

“Does it look breedable, Empress?”

“Mhm, so breedable. You look like such a pretty cum dump, Tae darling. All tight and dainty. I bet you could keep so much cum inside, mhm?”

Taehyung moans loudly, writhing in bliss. You can watch just how deep he falls into the headspace, how you have him hooked on your fingers. One wrong word and you could probably break him. One right word and you could most definitely ruin him.

“Yes”, he moans, “yes, I’m breedable and, and tight. I, I can be a bred boy for hours.”

This is going to haunt you. All of this. Taehyung in such a headspace is going to goddamn haunt you. 

“You’re such a good boy. Fuck Tae, I can’t take it anymore. I want to rim you.”

“Do whatever you want, Empress. I can take anything”, he consents with the knowledge that you are aware of his boundaries. Truly, offering himself as someone so entirely without control feels so good to do because he knows that you respect each and every single boundary he has. You can do whatever you want with him, because you won’t go too far. Taehyung feels dizzy at the aspect of being so entirely at your mercy.

“You are such a good boy”, you praise and lower yourself to your knees, grabbing his hips as you do. The floor feels hard and cold on your knees, but you don’t mind. You have better things to do, like pull Taehyung down and onto your tongue. 

“Ah!” he yelps, reaching behind himself to grab your hair, “Empress!”

He tastes sweet, grinding on the flat of your tongue each time he wiggles his hips. You purr deeply and close your eyes. He feels so good. His puckered hole flutters and tenses as you taste him, his hips keep squirming under your fingers, his hand grips you so desperately. 

“Don’t stop please”, he begs, “it feels so good. Oh, it feels so good.”

You purr deliciously, having your eyes closed in bliss. You goddamn love giving head. Your men are always so reactive and cute when you do and the surge of pleasurable confidence this gives you makes you feel so goddamn attractive. And happy. Very, very happy because you know that you can make them feel good. 

And Taehyung deserves to feel good. After all the shit you put him through lately, he deserves to feel nothing but the most amazing and wonderful sensations. 

You run your hands along his thighs, lingering on the beginning of his buttocks to trace his heated flesh. It feels so plump and heavy between your fingers. 

“You’re perfect”, you moan into him, squeezing his butt, “you’re so fucking perfect.”

Your tongue slips between his buttocks without struggle, poking and teasing his hole in quick swirls. You dirty him in your drool, but you don’t care. He makes you salivate, he is so goddamn delicious. 

Taehyung moans and lets his head fall back, revelling in the sensations with his thumb dimpling the pillows of the chaise lounge. Your warmth borders unbearable. Taehyung forgot just how warm your touch feels, how gentle and soft you love him but at the same time with just how much intense passion you explore him. 

“Please don’t stop”, he begs, tilting his head back even further. It reveals his throat for no one to see but the burning candles and whatever entity may hide in the invisible worlds in between. 

You dig your fingers deeper, dimpling his flesh and parting him for better access. Like this, his hole opens just enough for you to be able to explore those truly delicate and sensitive parts of him. 

The sound that forces out of sweet Taehyung goes straight to your core. You can feel him tremble in reaction. You are so greedy for more. Moaning desperately, you try to breach him with your tongue. You have to be harsh for it, rough and filled with an almost angry strength. You struggle at first. He is clenching so much in excitement that it is hard to fill him up. You don’t want to give up. You have to claim him. One more try. Your tongue wiggles and swirls. Wiggles and swirls. Wiggles and breaches him. 

Your name falls from his lips in a loud and pitched moan, his head bounces to the front and hits the edge of the backrest. His fingers slip from your hair to grip the chaise lounge. He whimpers loudly and clenches around you. 

You mewl in bliss, burying yourself as deep as your tongue allows you to go. You claimed him. And he tastes like heaven. You have to have him. All you want to do is fuck him and taste him and make him feel good. You begin moving your head back and forth to allow your tongue to glide in and out of him. Your palms are holding him open for you, your thighs are rubbing together in search of sweet friction. With the strap-on you are wearing, you feel quite a lot of friction between your legs. Taehyung wasn’t lying when he told you that you would feel it too. You are so fucking desperate because of it. 

“Finger me”, Taehyung begs in a breathy moan, “please finger me.”

“Hm?” 

“Finger me, please Empress.”

You slip out of him, watching how his pretty hole clenches in desperation. It glistens from your drool, looking much more open and relaxed now that you tongue fucked it so well. 

“You want me to finger you?”

“Yes”, Taehyung begs desperately, “yes please just finger me, please.”

“I can’t get enough of you, fuck”, you get out and gasp for air. He makes you dizzy. You feel so charged in desperation.

You reach for the bottle of lube and prepare your finger. Taehyung waits patiently, running his fingers over the fabric of the chaise lounge mindlessly. It tickles his fingertips and feels soft, but not as soft as your touch which lingers on his hole just seconds later. He straightens up and moans, arching into you.

“Ready?” you ask him, massaging his rim slowly.

“Yes”, he sighs, pushing his hips back.

“You are such a good boy”, you praise as you push your finger into him.

He moans loudly, you feel tense in desperation. He is so tight and warm around you, his walls are hugging your finger gratefully. You move your finger as the urge to explore him weighs too heavy in your heart.

“Another one”, he begs the instant you begin moving.

“Really?” you gasp.

“Yes, I barely feel anything.”

“That’s hot”, you croak, “oh my god Tae, you are so hot”, you rasp and push your ring finger into him. It sinks in quickly, filling him out and eliciting a grateful moan from him. He pushes back into you, moving his tight hole on your digits.

“Yes”, he breathes, “yes, oh yes, oh yes.”

His pretty hole moves around your digits, looking so beautiful now that you stretch him so well.

“This makes me so wet”, you confess in a breathy voice, “I can’t believe you’re real.”

The true and utter honesty in your voice makes Taehyung tremble. He knows that all the praise you give him is honest and real, but this right now sounds almost unnaturally honest. You are so mesmerised by him. He can hear just how honest you are in your desperation. And Taehyung can’t handle it.

“This doesn’t work”, he sobs softly, “please do it differently.”

“Yeah? How do you want it?”

“I want to sit on your lap, please.”

“Okay, let’s do that”, you say, slipping out of him. You waste no time with watching his hole close, instead you let yourself fall down on the chaise lounge next to him, parting your legs enough to make your lap comfortable for him. Your strap hits your stomach from the movement, sending a jolt of excitement through you. You feel so sexy like this. Taehyung wastes no time being desperate for your fingers, instead he climbs atop your lap with wobbly knees, cups your face and kisses you deeply.

“Mhhm Tae”, you mumble into him, kissing him back with a dizzy head.

His taste lingers on your lips. Taehyung sucks and licks it off of you with needy hunger. His tongue traces your lips and hugs your own, forcing you to moan and sigh. He cups your breasts and massages the spots you love having touched. His fingertips carry magic in them, sending shivers down your spine. Oh how terribly greedy for a feel of you he is. You chase him desperately, needing nothing more than his touch. 

His cock is rubbing against your strap. You can feel them press against your stomach that way. The sensation feels so good. You pull him closer because of it, but can’t as Taehyung breaks the kiss to moan sweetly.

Your eyes meet in a deep and intimate gaze. It turns you on to look at each other.

“I want you”, you whisper, parting your lips as you chase his kiss.

“I want you too”, he whispers and reaches between your bodies, wrapping his fingers around your cocks. He begins jerking them off, whimpering needily because like this, his sensitive spots are grinding right against the head of the translucent dildo. 

You chase him with a roll of your hips, twisting his hair at the back of his head.

“That’s so hot”, you rasp.

“Imagine how this will feel once you learned the spell”, he whispers and mewls softly. Frotting with you gets him off so good.

“Tae, I’m so wet”, you confess and whine quietly.

“Finger me again, please”, he begs, arching his back.

“I’m so fucking wet”, you croak and drop your right hand from his hair to part his buttocks for you. He has enough lube on his rim to enable you a comfortable breach and so you push two of your fingers into him to their last knuckles, curling them against his favourite spot. 

“Like this?” you ask him, hungry eyes glued to his pretty face. He feels tighter in this position, hugging your digits greedily.

Taehyung scrunches his nose up, “hngn”, he lets out and exhales loudly, chasing the sensation with a roll of his hips.

“Yes, just like this”, you whisper deeply, “just like this.”

“N-no”, he presses out.

“No?”

He reaches behind himself and touches your pointer finger. Then he looks into your eyes, pouting pleadingly.

“Please”, he whispers.

“Fuck. Tae”, you get out and with his help, push a third finger into his greedy hole.

Taehyung closes his eyes by letting them roll back. His jaw goes slack, his throat produces an honest and deep moan. The view leaves you with the wettest stain of desperation under you.

“Thank you”, he gets out and parts his lips again to moan honestly and loudly. He feels so stuffed. Three of your fingers are currently preparing his hole, massaging his prostate with such expertise, Taehyung wonders if he will ever become normal again. 

“You’re such a good boy, Tae. You’re taking me so well”, you praise, watching in delight as Taehyung squirms shyly, hole clenching around your fingers excitedly. He makes you smile. “You are so cute”, you say in a soft voice. It is heavy in arousal.

Taehyung giggles and moans, chasing you with a roll of his hips. Just once and then he shivers, hand dropping from his cock and reaching behind to hold your wrist. 

“Wait. Stop. Please”, he begs. 

You obey, keeping your fingers still inside him as your brows furrow in worry.

Taehyung takes a deep breath and groans quietly, “oh god”, he gets out, shuddering desperately.

“Are you okay? Were three too much?”

“No. So close.”

Your eyes light up. So he isn’t in pain.

“Yes? Does praise get you too needy?” you tease to which Taehyung giggles and blushes. 

“I’m sorry, please don’t be mad. I know it feels as if I'm rushing. This is so exciting to me.”

“Hush, don’t apologise. You’re taking the perfect amount of time”, you assure him, curling your fingers to make him feel good.

He twitches and gasps, squeezing your wrist.

“Please”, he squeaks.

“Mhm what do you want?”

“I want to be fucked, please”, he begs with cute eyes. 

“Yes? Do you really want to do that?” you ask him.

“Yes. You?”

“Yes, I’m just a little nervous. I don’t know how to move properly.”

“That’s okay, I’ll show you.”

You smile, “you are such a good boy, Tae”, you say, curling your fingers.

“Ah”, he widens his eyes, squeezes your wrist, “don’t please.”

You chuckle softly, “I’m sorry, you are just so adorable when you squirm.”

“Oh god, please”, he pouts, “please more, please.”

“Get my cock ready, sweetest”, you order, slipping your fingers free. You can’t wait. You are so goddamn excited.

Taehyung obeys instantly. He covers the dildo in a good layer of lube, using the remnants on his fingers to cover his hole.

He sighs, “I need you so much”, he says and positions himself over your length. He grips it by its base, moving it over his ready hole. “I’ll move for us, don’t worry.”

“I know. You’re such a good boy.”

You can’t stop looking away even if you see barely anything in the position except his terribly swollen cock and tensing tummy. You let your eyes flit behind Taehyung. There you go. Now you can see everything. Right there in the reflection of his big ceiling high mirror. 

His feet are tangling over the edge of the chaise lounge, his toes are wiggling. His back is arched as he presents his well-sculpted ass. 

Taehyung lowers himself.

“A-ah”, he lets out in sync with his cock throbbing against your tummy.

“Fuck”, you groan, eyes widening in greedy hunger. Just one second your cockhead was visible and now it’s gone. Hidden in Taehyung’s ass. “Did you just take it?”

“Yes”, he whimpers, lowering himself even more, “oh god, darling”, he gets out, cock twitching continuously as he sinks down on you. 

“Okay this is really hot”, you whisper, gasping with him when he bottoms out. Thighs against ass and strap right inside. The view stirs hot pleasure inside you. 

Taehyung begins moving instantly, holding onto your shoulders while he rocks up and down on your length. Like this, you can watch it appear and disappear repeatedly, looking wetter each and every time.

“This is so fucking hot, oh my god.”

“Touch my hips please”, he begs and you obey instantly, “can you feel them move?” 

His muscles are tensing and shifting with his movements, his skin feels so hot. You squeeze them, gulping heavily. Look at him move, feel him tense, listen to him sigh. This is so goddamn hot.

“I can. That’s really…wow”, you whisper, eyes meeting his gaze. 

It is droopy. Your heart flutters because of it. He moans shakily, moving sensually atop your lap as if he was made for it. And he was. He really fucking was, taking your strap like the best boy he was. 

“Does it feel nice, my darling?” you ask him, caressing his hips.

“Yes, it feels so nice”, he sighs, cupping your face gently, “how does it feel for you?”

“Really good. You’re right, it’s rubbing against my clit.”

“See? I was right”, he lulls and flutters his eyes closed. He lifts his hips and drops them on your lap, ass jiggling because of it. You watch it happen hungrily, heart racing like crazy.

Taehyung moans sweetly, repeating the movement as his fingers slip back to grip your shoulders tightly. “Holy fuck”, he gets out between throaty gasps.

You can’t believe this is happening. You are fucking Taehyung. And he looks so goddamn good taking it. You run your hands to his ass, grabbing a handful of him to knead it. You part him, moaning loudly as this exposes his stuffed hole. In and out, in and out, in and out. He is taking you so well, looking so good doing it. 

“Don’t stop”, he begs, pressing himself closer while his hips draw circles on your length. You are moving his sensitive rim right around your cock with your groping and he loves that sensation like nothing else. He curls his toes, chasing the friction with needy hips. He loves that so much. Loves it so much. 

“This is so hot”, you whisper, “holy fuck.”

You knew that Taehyung wasn’t as dominant as you thought him to be when you first met him, but this is too much. He is so terribly attractive like this. Taking your strap with his face contorted in raw pleasure and his rockhard cock rubbing against your tummy. All while the whiniest little sounds leave his lips. You are seriously the luckiest woman on earth.

“You’re so wet, sweet Tae”, you rasp. You dance your right hand to his cock, holding his buttock with your other to really feel all the flexing he is doing. 

“Empress”, he mewls quietly, furrowing his brows in desperation. You wrap your hand around his cock, grinding your thumb into his frenulum. “Oh god”, Taehyung croaks, falling around your neck.

His head falls against your shoulder, his back arches so he can still reach your strap. He loses some of the depth that way, but he doesn’t care because you are pressing against his prostate while your fingers are toying with his leaking cock and that’s better than anything else.  

“You’re leaking so much. Wow Tae, I’m making you so fucking wet, aren’t I?” you rasp, basking in the deep shiver you send through him because of your words.

“Empress, I’m a wet boy”, he whimpers, gripping the edge of the backrest.

“Yes you are, such a wet boy”, you coo, tightening your arm around his waist and letting your fingers slip between his ass. You have to feel it. You press your fingertips against his hole so you can feel how the strap moves inside him. “that’s how that feels. Damn, that feels good”, you croak.

“My ass is made for you, Empress”, Taehyung moans, arching his back even more just to present himself to your fingers and your greedy eyes. He loves it so much when you feel him up. He wants to be such a good boy for you, tingling like crazy because your touch feels like heaven.

“Yes you are, you’re made for me”, you whisper, trying to meet his movements. It can’t hurt to try, right? 

“O-oh”, Taehyung collapses into you, losing any sort of ability to move, “oh god, ___.”

“Was that right?” you ask him, trying again even if it is difficult with his weight on you.

Taehyung shudders, squeezing the backrest. His moan is muffled by your shoulder, his cock leaks on your fingers.

You try again, “okay but this is really hard to move. How are you always doing that?”

“Shall we change positions?”

“Maybe. I can’t really move.”

“Okay. Stand up, I have an idea.”

Taehyung lies down on the chaise lounge. Head facing the foot end and toes facing the top end. He opens his legs, reaching between them to part himself for you.

“Please back”, he begs.

“You’re so pretty wow”, you whisper, eyes glued to his exposed hole. It looks so empty and wet. You want to fill it up again, show him how good you can make him feel.

You spread a new layer of lube on your strap and get right between his legs, touching his inner left thigh. You hold your cock with your right hand, jerking it off slowly. It feels so warm because of him. 

“Are you ready? I can’t guarantee that I’ll be good”, you ask him, grinding your tip on his greedy hole.

“Please fuck me”, he begs.

You push inside, eliciting a throaty mewl from him. Slipped in so easily. You pressed your fingers against his hole as you did just so you can really feel how it is to breach someone. Quite frankly, it felt heavenly. You push more, watching in delight as Taehyung scrunches his face in bliss because of it.

“I’m in. I’ll move now, yeah?”

He nods his head, arching his back in preparation. You grab his hips and move. Taehyung moans loudly, gripping his own thighs. This was amazing to witness. You want to repeat it just so you can hear him moan again.

“___”, Taehyung moans, gasping for air afterwards.

“Okay, this is amazing what the hell”, you rasp, chasing him in a deep thrust, “this is fucking amazing, holy fuck.”

Your knees are just a little farther than Taehyung’s hips width apart, your thighs are pressing into his softness. Your hands are on his hips, your lower tummy works hard to make the movement possible. And your sweet Taehyung is moaning your name as if it was his only prayer. You thought it impossible to feel so fucking powerful, but here you are. This is the best surge of power you’ve ever felt. You want to keep chasing it. Chasing it until you run on nothing but Taehyung’s sweet moans.

Taehyung throws his legs over your thighs, deepening your connection that way. It’s easier to move like this, sending a surge of confidence through your veins.

“This is so fucking good”, you pant, gripping his thighs just to nudge his legs apart more. You thrust into him, watching it happening. He is moving right around your strap, looking oh so stuffed and stretched. That’s how it looks to fuck. To be the one controlling just how deep someone gets stuffed. No wonder they don’t want to stop once they start. This is the sexiest view ever. You hold his thighs, making sure that he doesn’t hide it from you.

“Don’t stop please”, Taehyung begs, writhing on the cushions sensually, "please ___ please."

“I won’t, this is so much fun” you rasp, “am I moving how you like it?”

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes.”

“This is so hot”, you moan, feeling oh so good. And not because the strap is grinding right against your clit, but because Taehyung is moaning oh so much. You feel so lightheaded in power. He is made for your strap and you don’t want to stop giving it to him. 

You want to give it to him. You were such a bitch to him lately. He deserves to be showered in attention and spill over in pleasure. It’s the least you can do to mend the cracks. Even if he says that there is nothing to forgive, you know better. If not for him, this is for you. To ease your cracked heart because there is nothing better in this world than seeing Taehyung glow in happy bliss. 

You wrap your fingers around his cock, forcing him to squeak and reach for your hand instantly. He squeezes hard, glassy eyes looking at you pleadingly.

“Too much?” you ask him, moving your hand around his leaking tip and with it forcing him to pull his legs into his chest. Just once and then he drops them again with a giggled moan. 

You twist your hand around his tip, chase the tightness of his hole with a deep thrust. Taehyung squeals, trying to close his legs but you force them apart again, punishing him with quick movements up and down his length. He is growing in your hand, letting you know that despite his whines he is in actual heaven. Not long and you’ll probably struggle with closing your fingers around his base.

“Am I fucking you too good, mhm? Can’t handle it?”

“No”, he squeaks, squeezing your hand.

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop”, you taunt, trying to pull away only to get stopped by Taehyung.

“Please”, he begs, “please, please”, he pleads, moving your hand around his cock.

“You are so adorable”, you rasp, taking over for him. You take his thigh and pull him onto your length, twisting your hand around his cockhead as you do. 

Taehyung arches his back, hips chasing you in desperate wiggles. His fingers fall from your hand to grab the edge of the backrest instead. He squeezes hard, feeling dizzy.

“Please Empress”, his voice is so high in pleasure. 

“It’s okay darling Tae, I’ve got you”, you soothe him, giving him your length in deep rolls of your hips. You have to admit, it is easier to fuck than you thought it is. Maybe it is because you love fucking Taehyung or maybe it’s because you’re a natural, but that shit is so much fun. “Your Empress got you”, you rasp, “I’ve got you so good.”

Taehyung moans and spills tears. You are moving his body, forcing his head to tangle over the edge just enough that his head is starting to pound. And he loves it. Loves all of it. The last ten weeks were torture for him. To watch you lose yourself and to be unable to stop it, broke him over and over again. And left him so upset that desire and sensuality became cruel enemies he didn’t even want to think about. So to have you finally be yourself again leaves Taehyung so goddamn sensitive. He can’t decide what exactly leaves him so sensitive. Happiness, relief, comfort, desperation. Maybe all of it. All he knows is that it feels so good to be touched now that everything was okay again. He missed it so much. Missed it so, so much.

Taehyung arches his back and meets your movements in sloppy rolls of his hips.

“There we go, that’s it. Take my strap, you’re such a good boy”, you praise him, matching his rhythm and with it, turning Taehyung into a mess. He opens his legs further, gripping the edge of the chaise lounge, rolls his head to the side. He is a mess. An honest mess.

“Please don’t stop”, he sobs, “please I’m begging you.”

“It’s okay, I’m not going to stop”, you soothe him, massaging his heated tip deeply.

“Oh my god, it feels so good”, he moans loudly, trembling in pleasure. “oh god, oh my god.”

He loves being a vampire. He is so goddamn into how it makes him feel. How sensitive every inch of his body gets, how easy it is to partake in the best fucking thing because stuff like having to clean out isn’t necessary anymore and how goddamn easy it is to make him dizzy. Taehyung loves his nature so very much when you’re the one touching him, moaning your name with tears rolling down his glowing cheeks.

“My darling”, you speak softly, engulfing his cheek in your tender palm, “look at you crying. Is it that good for you?”

Taehyung whimpers, leaning into your touch until his soft cheek was nuzzled into your palm. He feels so safe right now. He is so vulnerable and weak right now, but you make him feel so safe.

“Good”, he whimpers and sobs softly, reaching up to place his hand over yours.

“You are so freaking pretty”, you whisper breathily, “oh Tae”, you add, trying to kiss him but failing miserably as this only forces his head to tangle even more over the edge.

It makes the both of you chuckle, eyes gazing into the others’ deeply.

“I’ll pull you up, work with me”, you say.

“Yes, okay”, he sighs, squirming sensually when you grab his hips and pull him closer.

“There we go. Now you’re comfy again, yeah?”

“Yes, so safe”, he whispers. Finally, his head stops tangling and you are able to place yourself atop of him. 

Your elbows are propped up on each side of his head, your hips roll into him slowly but oh so deeply. Your chests are melted together. Taehyung can feel your racing heart that way, spilling tears because it feels so good to him. You begin moving again, slow and deep. Taehyung gasps, grabbing your back with trembling fingers. His legs close behind your thighs, trembling weakly.

“There we go, hold onto me”, you encourage him, playing with his hair. It is just a little damp from the heat you share, curling right around your fingers and tickling your skin, “is that good, my darling?”

“Yes, yes it’s so good”, Taehyung croaks and squeaks, “I- ah.” 

“Such a good boy”, you praise, “touch yourself for me, my darling.”

Taehyung reaches between your bodies with one hand to wrap his fingers around his big cock. He gasps and looks into your eyes. The smile you give him makes him droopy, you running your fingers through his hair makes him dizzy. 

“You’re so big, aren’t you?”

He whines a shy “yes”, feeling up his length. He didn’t even witness when he grew into his real size. You feel so good that all he concentrated on was your moving hips and gentle touch. He should be embarrassed about having such little control, but he is proud. You make him feel so good that he loses control and Taehyung is proud to show that off.

“Yes, you are. You are such a good boy, always so big and pretty for me. Mhm?”

Taehyung keens your name and squeezes his eyes shut. He scratches his nails down your back, leaving behind a streak of burning pleasure on your skin. You growl softly in reaction, dropping your forehead against his’.

“You’re such a good boy”, you rasp, voice shaky in lust, “holy fuck, this is the best fucking shit.”

You aren’t aware of it yet, but Taehyung is currently losing control. Having you atop of him, warm skin against warm skin and with your weight putting reassuring pressure on his chest, is too much for him. All of it is too much. Your slow movements, your fingers in his hair, your forehead against his’, the tensing of your back muscles under his fingertips, your praises. Taehyung has never felt that overtaken by the sensations before. He wants to cry and sob and pull you closer. And he does. He pulls you closer, sobbing your name into your shoulder as the new closeness forces you to cage in his head between your arm and head. Your hips falter and lose their rhythm. Taehyung makes up for it instantly, chasing you with needy rolls of his hips and his arms cradling you against his chest.

You chuckle and moan, moving your head so your nose was buried in his hair. You can’t move a lot, but you don’t mind. Being hugged by Taehyung as he chases the pleasure you give him is the best feeling ever. Taehyung’s needy squirming also manages to move the strap enough that your clit gets stimulated in the same needy rhythm and goddamn this feels heaven.

“Feels so fucking good”, you groan, “Tae, holy fuck, this is so good.”

Taehyung answers you in little whimpers and desperate mewls, hugging you closer. He uses just enough of his true strength on you that you know for a fact that he is losing himself in the sensations. Good, honest sex does that him. You realised that much. He may be a master of control on most nights and he may be hiding his nature from you most of the times, but there are those rare, intense moments where his reality shines through and you bask in them like an addict. You close your arm around his head and nuzzle into his hair deeper. It smells like warmth and his lavender shampoo.

“My good boy. My pretty, pretty good boy”, you rasp, making him shake.

“You’re making me climax”, Taehyung whimpers, “I can’t, can’t hold it much longer.”

“You can’t?”

“N-no. Feels so good.”

“It does. It fucking does. My good boy”, you pant, twisting his hair gently. 

“Now please”, he begs, spilling desperate tears.

“Be a good boy for me. There we go. Such a good boy, you’re such a good boy”, you rasp.

Taehyung sobs your name and throws his head back as best as possible, chasing his high with deep rolls of his hips. “ah, a-ah”, he keens, scratching down your back in a desperate attempt not to lose himself completely.

“Good boy, my pretty good boy. Yes Tae, yes cum for me”, you praise him, feeling him shake and tremble. You try to help him, moving your hips as best as the position allows you to. His cock throbs against you, covering your tummies in his high. He is so tight around your strap, making moving almost impossible. But you keep moving, giving him a toe curling high. The kind which will stay in his mind for years to come. 

Three deep strokes and then Taehyung begins fleeing you, despite his vigorous shaking before. He drops his arms from you, gripping the chaise lounge instead. Then he arches his back, squirming desperately.

“Stop, please too much”, he begs, “please too much.”

You chase him, forcing a throaty laugh out of him, “please, darling”, he begs, wiggling up the cushion until his head tangles over the edge again, “please slow, please.”

“Sorry”, you slow down, “I just wanted to see how you’d react.”

Taehyung laughs, raven hair messy and damp from the deep fuck.

“You are so cruel”, he whines, “I’m too sensitive.”

“Yeah?” you try chasing him again. One careful thrust and Taehyung squeezes his thighs together, whining your name. You chuckle, “sorry, I’ll stop. God, you are cute.”

You pull out of him, watching his hole push out the lube. It looks so wet and soft. You reach out and touch it, eliciting a gasp from him.

“Darling please”, he begs, holding your wrist, “I’m too sensitive.”

You snicker, “I can feel that”, you tease, massaging his sensitive rim.

“Please, mercy”, he begs, giggling loudly and with sparkly eyes.

“I just”, you clear your terribly dry throat, “you are so sexy, Tae”, you whisper, tracing his rim. You made it feel like that. You did that to him.

“___”, Taehyung says and laughs, running his own hands to his thighs. He grabs them right next to his cock, squeezing them tightly all while he opens his legs further, “why do you want to torture me?” 

“Sorry”, you whisper, pulling back. You just did that. You fucked Taehyung’s ass. You actually made him cum around your strap. The realisation is leaving you dizzy. “I think I’m too horny for my own good.”

Taehyung lifts his head, “did you climax as well?” he asks you. 

You shake your head, making Taehyung gasp. 

“Why didn’t you say so? Shall I take care of it?”

“I mean….”, you say, rubbing your legs together.

Taehyung sits up with a groan, blinking slowly to get rid of the dizziness in his head.

“Don’t you want to rest a little?” you ask him, touching his chest in case he needs the support.

He shakes his head, “I can’t rest before I know that you are satisfied as well. Please get on your knees.”

You follow, lifting yourself onto your knees so you were kneeling in front of him on the chaise lounge. Taehyung shimmies closer and reaches behind you to open the clasp in the back. He gazes up at you as he does, eyes glassy from his intense high. The harness leaves your body and gets discarded on the floor for now.

Taehyung looks at your core, hands running up and down your buttocks gently.

“You are so beautiful”, he whispers, dropping down onto the chaise lounge and pulling you right with him. Right atop his face.

“Oh! Oh?!” you startle, trying to flee at first until you realise what he was doing. You let him pull you close, hand gripping the edge of the backrest for support.

Taehyung welcomes you with a stuck out tongue, moaning deeply the second your wet pussy connects with him.

“Tae fuck”, you press out in a whisper, letting your head tangle to the front as your every strength leaves you.

You are not going to last long. That much is sure. Fucking Taehyung with such honest and deep intensity brought you to the brink. Only a few more strokes and you probably would have followed him into sweet demise. So to have him run his skilled tongue over your pussy is almost too much. You are close and you are loving it.

“Oh god, it’s so good”, you choke out, twisting a bundle of his hair, “Taehyung….”

Taehyung growls deeply, eyes gazing up at you. You are covering his entire lower face and he loves it, slurping up your taste with hungry desperation. His big hands are on your hips, massaging you deeply. He sucks your clit between his lips.

“Ah”, you let out, mouth falling open and chest lifting as you inhale only to hold your breath. The sensation is too good. You curl your toes, digging your nails into the fabric of the backrest.

Taehyung purrs and sucks again, watching in bliss as you sink into yourself. You grow heavier on his face and Taehyung fucking loves it. He supports you with no struggle, flicking his tongue over your clit quickly with the help of his powers. Quick and fast and oh so sloppy.

You shake, moaning his name loudly. Good. Taehyung wants you to shake. You deserve to shake after how you made him feel. He wants you to feel as ethereal as you made him feel. Maybe even better.

“Now”, you squeak, “Tae now.”

Taehyung doesn’t slow down, growling hungrily as his tongue keeps moving quickly.

You break a second later, convulsing in his strong hold and gasping his name. You wanted to say more, praise him and call him your good boy, but you can’t. Taehyung is making you feel completely and utterly dumb in your high and all you can do is shake and tremble.

This feels so fucking good. You forgot how good orgasms feel. How were you able to miss out on them for ten weeks? This is better than anything.

The shaking stops too soon for your taste. Way too soon. You feel fulfilled and yet desperate for more. You lift yourself. You have no idea why you did that, but you did. You dumb woman lift yourself off of Taehyung’s face, thinking that this was it.

Taehyung lets you know that it very much wasn’t. With the help of his powers he has you pinned against the chaise lounge within seconds, keeping a safe hold on you as he forces your legs open with the help of his strong thighs. He buries two of his long fingers in your pussy, pressing his thumb against your swollen clit.

“Ah!” you yelp, eyes widening comically big and lips opening repeatedly as you gasp for air. He pins you down with his weight, keeping you hostage with his burning gaze. His long fingers move right against your g-spot, his thumb makes sure your clit stays as sensitive as possible. The deepest fire spreads through your limbs. Every inch of your middle feels electric.

“Holy fuck”, you gasp, “holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fu- ah!”

Taehyung growls throatily, parting his lips in synch with yours. His lids grow heavy in arousal, barely showing off his ruby eyes. He doesn’t need to say anything. Sounds are enough to let you know that he is feeling just as charged as you do. Which is impossible, because you feel like fucking exploding. You are so sensitive. Stuffed by his fingers and tortured with the best overstimulation after weeks of not knowing how pleasure feels.

Tears leave your eyes and roll down your face, you try to both moan and gasp for air, resulting in the most honest sounds of pleasure you made in a long time.

Taehyung answers you in a deep growl, fingers speeding up to the kind of level which results in you kicking the cushions and arching your back.

“Ah!” you wail, “ah Tae!”

“Climax for me”, he rasps in the deepest voice, forcing you over the edge with a curl of his fingers.

It starts in the deepest parts of your pussy, spreading to your clit and taking the rest of your body by surprise.

“Tae! Oh god Tae! Ah!”

Taehyung keeps moving through your high, ruining you to the point of having to squirt all over his long fingers. He growls deeply as that happens, basking in the burn of your nails as you clasp his arms in panicked desperation. And he keeps moving. Keeps on fucking his fingers into you quickly and deeply, keeps on rubbing your clit, keeps on massaging your g-spot even if that makes the biggest mess between your legs. Because if there is one thing he is good at, it is fingering you so fucking good you feel as if he drilled you with his cock. You are so goddamn perfect when you climax like that. When you squirt until you physically can’t anymore, resulting in you flinching and twitching in his strong arms.

Taehyung pulls his fingers free, allowing the last droplets of your pleasure to drip out of you now that he isn’t plugging you up anymore. He rests his hand on your pussy gently, caressing her with slow movements up and down. The warmth that leaves behind makes you feel just as dizzy as your high does.

You aren’t really present for the next moments, trying to find your way back to him after he ruined you so abysmally. Taehyung kisses every inch of your face as he waits for you to return to him.

Once you do, he is gazing at you with the most beautiful smile ever. You retort it, cupping his face with shaking hands.

“You are incredible”, you whisper, “holy moly, Tae.”

He chuckles softly, flustering cutely.

“I literally feel dizzy.”

“Me too”, he says, letting you pull him closer until you kiss.

Sweetly and slowly. You are both too ruined to kiss any other way. And sadly also way out of breath as seconds later the kiss breaks again.

“You seriously ruined me. I don’t think I can be normal again.”

Taehyung giggles, “me neither. The way you moved your hips will haunt me.”

You chuckle, “so I did well for my first time?”

“You did incredible. You were amazing.”

It is your turn to fluster. Taehyung brushes his thumb over your cheek. Your skin glows so prettily after good sex, he is so fucking obsessed with the view.

“Shall we take a bath together to relax?” he suggests.

“I would love that, my darling”, you say, nodding your head enthusiastically.

“Me too, oh darling”, Taehyung smiles.

Moments later you are sharing a bath, sitting face to face and with your limbs entangled. Candlelight is filling the room, the scent of honey tickles your nose and slow jazz music keeps you company. You are caressing Taehyung’s back and he does the same to you, eyes racing between yours.

“I think we are different than we were when we met”, he whispers into the silence.

“I think so too. We’re different.”

“I don’t think we’ll ever have the same relationship again.”

You look at him in slight confusion.

“Too much happened. Too many moments of doubt and betrayal and hurt. I don’t think that we can ever go back to the way we were”, he explains himself.

“I don’t understand. Are you breaking up with me?”

“On the contrary. I just…want us to be better from now on. More honest. When was the last time we sat down and talked about us? Did we ever?”

You shake your head, “I don’t know if we ever did, actually”, you confess. 

“I can’t remember either. I am so terrible at being honest with how I truly feel. When it comes to true honesty, I struggle a lot, so I tend to avoid deeply emotional conversations.”

“I think you’re pretty good at it. I suck at it more than you do.”

Taehyung chuckles, as do you. 

“So tell me, Tae. Be honest.”

“I don’t know. When I look at you these days I see someone different. You are better, but still so different. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened had I fled that night.”

“What night are you talking about?”

“The night Namjoon forced me to hunt you down. Had I been one second faster, our lives could look so much different now. I wonder if we would still be together or if we would already be broken up. Would we have ever found Jimin? Would he have even died in the first place? Would you have ever fallen in love with Yoongi?”

You furrow your brows. 

“I keep wondering if the universe would have still found a way to bring the two of you together”, he smiles, “I think he changed you the most out of all of us. I think if we hadn’t went through everything we did, I would have hurt you in the long run. But Yoongi helped you be better.”

You lower your eyes shyly.

“I really hated that you were with him”. Taehyung confesses, making you look at him in shock, “for the longest time I really hated that you were with him and I was angry at you for falling in love with him. But I see it now. You love him as I love Jimin and it doesn’t mean that you love me less, because I don’t love you less either despite Jimin.”

You smile.

“I don’t hate it anymore. I’m happy that you found each other. I really am.” 

“I’m happy too. So happy. I seriously haven’t ever been as happy in my life as I am ever since I’m with you guys.”

Taehyung smiles. 

“And I’m happy for you too. I didn’t like Jimin at first and I wanted him gone because of how he treated you. But I understand these days that he is traumatised and that he just needed a push into the right direction. Kindness isn’t easy for him because it hurt him in the past.”

Taehyung nods hid head.

“I like Jimin these days. He is a great friend and makes you happy. I want you to be happy, Tae.”

“I am. I am happy. I really am.”

“Good. I hope you always will be.”

“I wish the same for you.”

Your eyes race between each other. The air is heavy in emotion. Your hearts beat in sync. Deep understanding lies between you and him. Your relationship as it was has long ended, but this wasn’t the end. 

Taehyung reaches for your face. Water leaves your skin wet, but you don’t mind.

“We can’t go back to how we were, can we?” he asks, intertwining his fingers with you.

“No, we can’t.”

“We have other people now. We don’t love solely each other, but we love more people. Back then we were so naive and stupidly attracted to each other, but we aren’t anymore.”

“That’s not true. I’m still stupidly attracted to you.”

“I feel the same. I just meant that our attraction is different these days. We went through shit together. We saw each other at our worst. Hurt each other. Apologised. Our attraction isn’t based solely on physicality anymore, it’s based on our shared story.”

You smile.

“I like that. It means that it’s real.”

Taehyung smiles.

“Yes. It means that it is real. And that it will withstand even the worst.”

“Only to come out stronger in the end.”

He squeezes your cheeks gently. You squeeze his waist right back.

“I want to be with you for life and I don’t know if I can go back to how we were. I want us to be deeper than we were back then. I want us to know that times will get hard, but we will always have each other. I want us to know that even if we spend some time apart and see other people, our love won’t grow less because of it.”

“I want the same, Tae. I want us to be deeper and more real.”

He lifts your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly. 

“I truly love you, ___. Most ardently and with my entire heart.”

“I love you too, Taehyung. Greatly and deeply.” 

“So let’s end this. Let’s end this to finally begin again.”

You smile, “yes, let’s end this to finally begin again.” 

“It’s over.”

“It’s over.”

You draw closer, holding hands while your eyes lose themselves in each other.

“___, do you want to be my forever family?” 

“Yes, Taehyung. I do. I fucking do.”

Taehyung laughs and places his hand on the nape of your neck. You laugh, closing your eyes as he pulls you into a kiss. Deep and full of love. You did it. You left the past and finally live in the present, holding each other close on your journey into a sweet future. Nothing can stop you now.

[solivagantingrebel]

MW3 SPOILERS

Writing under the cut.

A letter from a dead man (to another) —

[Soap left a letter for Ghost, just in case the worst happened— and turns out, it did.]

To Simon Riley,

I guess saying I’m sorry is the best way to start things off here.

Don’t ask why I got the impulse to write this, alright? Last mission got me thinking a lot. It got me thinking about life, about you, about myself. Realising that I loved you, and you love me too, got me thinking even more. We could’ve died, Simon. Died without knowing how much we fucking loved each other too, Jesus. Talk about a sobfest.

Took a lot of courage to admit it. I saw that you struggled too, L.t. But I’m glad we did, even though it wasn’t the most romantic place to say it. While we were hiding from enemies too, for christ’s sake. But that’s what got us to say it and I don’t regret it one bit. Especially not the part afterwards.

Okay, getting sidetracked here. What I wanted to say is that I’ve always known, Simon. I’ve always known that you were mine and I am yours. I plan on making it official too, gonna take you to the nicest place and have the fanciest meal before I get down on my knees. As long as you didn’t beat me to it. Knowing you though, maybe you will.

But that’s not what we’re here for, are we?

You’re reading this now because I didn’t make it. I don’t want to think about it, about a future where I can’t see you anymore, but if I haven’t burned this and it’s in your hands, then that’s what happened. We didn’t get married either. Because I promised myself to write another letter if we had. Our line of work, gotta be prepared for the worst, you know?

I’m sorry.

Whatever happened, I’m so fucking sorry.

I’m sorry for making you feel like this again. I know you’ve lost a lot, went through a lot of horrendous shit you shouldn't have, came out of everything a Ghost for fuck’s sake, and I was really, really hoping it wouldn’t - won’t happen to us. But it did. Because you’re reading this, I know it did.

I owe you so much, Simon. I owe you a cosy little place of our own, I owe you a kiss every day you wake up and every night you close your eyes, I owe you hugs, lots of them, whenever you need it. Whenever you don’t need it too. I owe you my heart, my soul, my entire being, every single little thing that you can take. It’s yours anyway. I owe you so much. But I couldn’t even give you myself, my name, my anything now.

Don’t you dare blame yourself for any of it.

If anything, it’s probably my fault. Blame me, okay? Put everything on my name, curse me to high heavens and hell, enough to have my body rolling in my grave and all. Don’t let me rest even after my death. Anything but blaming yourself for this. You’re not fucking allowed to put this on yourself, do you understand? I’m haunting you if you do. Better watch out, Simon Riley. Especially if you want a good night’s sleep or a good cup of tea from here on out.

Jokes aside. You know I tried, right? I would’ve fought the world with my bare hands for you, pretty man. Would've wrangled death and crawled to your side at the expense of fuck everything. I’m just. Sorry, I guess. I’m sorry it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry that I couldn’t rip my heart out and hand it out just for you to hold.

Fuck. My eyes are tearing up. Don’t mind if there’s some dried up tears on this. I’m trying. Really am, but I don’t know what’s worse, Simon. I don't know. Imagining a world where I can’t see your bonnie face again, or imagining you alone after everything. Bloody fuck. I don't think any amount of sorries can fix this. But I’ll say it again.

I’m really fucking sorry, Simon.

I love you so much, you daft old man. I love you beyond anything I could say, write, do or express. I love you so much I would’ve done anything just to be a John Mactavish Riley and stay by your side.

But you’re reading this.

And you know I can’t.

A lifetime’s worth of sorries can’t fix this, I know. Gonna kiss and hold you extra hard the next time I see you, L.t. Sorry in advance, even though that’s probably the ‘past’ for you. I’m planning to yank that mask right off, press my lips against every square inch of that pretty boy face and tell you how much I love you until you get sick of it. Until you have to force me away, probably grumbling and asking me what’s wrong because you’re not used to it.

You’re not used to being loved, are you?

I love you so much.

I don’t know what to do with this love sometimes. Death can’t stop it either, if you’re wondering. Know that my heart was bursting with it till the end. Know that you were probably the last thought in my head. You’ll always have my love, my soul, dead or alive. What we have goes beyond life and death. You know that, I know that. Wherever I am, if there’s even ‘anything’ beyond, know that I’m missing you to hell and back, Simon Riley.

Don’t be eager to follow me. Please. I want you to live. You’ve been dead for so long, it hurts my heart to even think about you returning to how you were before me. Empty eyes, not letting anything or anyone close, a sad fucker underneath that brooding mask. Pretty too but you already know that. Don’t be a stubborn shit about this, I’m waiting for you. There’s nothing else for me to do.

I don’t know if you’ll get it too but I’ll keep the rings I bought for us next to the letter. Proof, maybe, I don’t know. I want you to have it. Keep it safe. Took a lot to get your size right, couldn’t even risk asking directly because you’d know immediately, smart fucker. Did you know you’re starting to sleep like a log these days? Felt like yesterday that you woke up to the sound of paper shuffling from the other room. Here you are, sleeping like a wee bairn without knowing any better. Anyway, you’re mine.

I’m yours.

Always have been, always will.

Take care, Simon.

PS: I love you.

PPS: I love you a lot. Don’t do anything stupid, I know it sounds real hypocritical of me if you’re reading this but seriously, don’t. See you soon, Simon.

PPPS: Preferably not soon-soon. Grow grey hair before you get here, see the world, do everything you want first. Jesus, I don’t even know what you’re doing right now. Don’t mope and waste away, you still have my love, you tit.

Goodbye, for now.

[onlyrains]

walk you home

pairing: odajima yuken x female reader

warning: grammar error, lowercase

part 2 | part 3

being best friend with ueda yui has been made you feel secure and insecure at the same time. things changed so much ever since you got closer to the dearest little sister of ueda sachio, the most powerful man of housen gouken.

he always picked his sister up after school for the sake of her safety. sometimes he sent shoji to walked her home but if it just he really busy. yui and you were attached to each other enough to the point where she always wanted to be with you—besides shoji, of course—so they ended up walked you home too even though it consumed more time to got home because you and yui would always got distracted by something in the street.

and today, a bit different. it was not sachio or shoji that waited for you two in front of the school gate. it was odajima yuken. you only knew his name and apperence from yui when she showed you the photo of her brother and his best friends, it was actually the first time you met him in person. he stood in his laid back posture with his back leant to the wall and both hands on his pocket. basic but enough to made him the center of attention for the girls today.

“odajima-san?” yui greeted. he turned and straightened his body. “where is sachio and sawamura?” yui continued.

he fixed his glasses on his nose. “ah, am i not expected to be here? to pick you up? to protect you?”

yui rolled her eyes. “but really, where is my boyfriend?”

“you better ask him yourself, girlfriend.” he started to walk but a tall silouette approching them from the opposite road.

“sawamura-chan!” yui shouted happily while waving at her boyfriend. he smiled and did a little run to arrive faster.

yuken rolled his eyes and did a fake vomit gesture. you chuckled softly seeing his dramatic reaction and that was the time when he finally fully-aware of your existence.

“let's go. but we need to get my friend home first.” yui turn her head to yuken to inform him. he nodded once.

yui and sawamura was walking happily in front of you and yuken, they chatted cheerfully and it was a relief cause you suddenly lost your voice and your head was a clear blank. you never knew walk side by side with yuken would caused you this nervous.

“ah! i need to grab some stuff from the store!” yui suddenly stopped and you almost crashed her body. “y/n, when it is closed?”

you looked at your right wrist. “ten minutes from now.” you said.

she pouted a little and gave a regretful expression to you. “i think we need to separate here. i dont want to get scolded again, you know.”

“reckless.” yuken murmured.

you giggled lightly. “nah, its fine. i can walk myself home, yui.”

“no, its getting dark and high school Z have known your face, y/n. you shouldnt be alone.” sawamura asserted then his eyes landed to his friend who stood beside you.

with no time to guess yuken's response, he embraced your arm and push you gently to continue to walk while yui took another road to got to the store quickly. “time to say goodbye, kids. bye-bye.” he said with a smiley voice as if you and yui were kindergarten students.

your body clenching a bit and your heart was beating like crazy for some reason. you could smell his mild perfume from this close.

“where’s your house?” yuken asked after silence for 2 minutes. he couldnt stand the silence between you two and he almost sure that you were scared of him.

“not that far from here. sorry to make you walk me home.”

yuken smiled a bit, you almost couldnt see it. “its fine. whats your name, by the way?”

“its y/n.”

he nodded. “i believe you must have known me, right?”

you scoffed a little. “sadly, yes.”

then silence again for a few seconds.

“ah, about earlier, yui was not meant to refuse you to pick her up. it was just as not shes expected and she was confused… maybe.” you tried to speak what was on your mind with all your courage. and this was the first time your voice been that shaky just to talk to someone. then you heard yuken bursted out laughing made you nervous and shock at the same time. “i knew it, y/n. i was just being dramatic to teased her. you are a good friend by the way.”

you smiled shyly and cursed yourself quietly. stupid. he is her brother best best friend, of course he know her well too.

“sachio got some business to do. so as always he sent sawamura but i really had nothing to do today, so i thought join him will be nice.” yuken started to explain just like he can read your mind and answer your question.

“well, thank you for your explanation,” you added a little sass on your voice.

“well, you are easy to read,” he shrugged, hands still on his pocket.

you squinting at him and he found it cute so he chuckled while looking at you involuntary.

“but is it right that high school Z have known you?”

you nodded. “yeah, i was with yui that day when they tried to attack her. i thought punching one of them is a good idea but it turned to be otherwise.”

“uh, you punched them?” yuken asked with excited yet disbelief tone.

“mhm.. i know i was wrong. they tried to attack me too.”

yuken hummed and nodded. “no wonder, then.” he replied. he was so chill. or so you thought.

he actually tried to think whether he should taught you how to keep you away from them or him gave a lesson to them to not landed a single dust on you.

“we are arrived.” you said when you both arrived in front of your house. you turned to facing him. “thank you for walk me home, odajima-san.”

“no problem, kid.” he gave you a thumbs up and smirk. oh, he really considered you as a child. “okay, see you around, i guess…?” he added while slowly walking backwards.

“okay, see you!”

you smiled from eye to eye and waving at him before you got into your house.

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The One That Got Away - Chapter Eleven

Warnings: angst, language, fluff.

Word Count: 1.6k

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Female Reader

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this, so all mistakes are mine.

You can catch up here!

 My Masterlist AO3    Ko-Fi

“Are you only here until your father goes, or are you back for good?” Dean asked, and Y/N bit her lip and furrowed her brow.

“It depends,” she finally responded.

“On what?”

“If you and I can be okay,” Y/N said, deciding complete honesty was the best way to handle this, and lifted her eyes to meet his. “I’m not expecting things to go back to how they were, De. Too much time has passed for that, but I’d like us to try to be friends again. But I also need to be completely honest and tell you I never got over you.”

“Y/N…”

“Please, just listen,” she begged, “you read my letter, and you know I had some unhealthy coping methods. I’ve only had one serious relationship since I left, which ended when I turned down his proposal three years ago. He told me that he loved me, but I was emotionally unavailable, and he couldn’t stay with someone who couldn’t love him the way he loved them,” Y/N explained.

“When I finally started dating again after that, I always sabotaged it before it could get serious. That was when I knew I would never let anyone in the way I did you, and I’d never get over you. I understand this is a lot, and I get that you might not feel the same, but if you want to try and be us again, awesome. If you want to try and be friends again, great,” she paused and took a deep breath, licked her lips before speaking again. “But if you don’t want me here… if me being here hurts you, and we can’t fix things between us, I can’t stay because I can’t be this close to you and not be part of your life. It’ll kill me.”

There it was. Everything Y/N needed him to know before they made any decisions on their future. This was where her heart lay, shield and armour down, vulnerability showing as she laid her cards on the table and bared her soul to him.

Now it was his turn.

“Y/N, I…” Dean began, grabbing her hands and smiling softly as her watery eyes found his. “I never stopped loving you. I tried to move on, but I couldn’t. None of them would be you. Not even close. Every day since you left, I have regretted not asking you to stay or coming with you. Even now, having read your letter and knowing it was the best thing for us, I still regret it. I hate that making that decision meant I couldn’t comfort you after the nightmares or stop you from drinking away your pain. The sex thing? Well, I’m just pissed that I missed out on what sounds like it could’ve been some kinky shit!” Dean joked, chuckling as Y/N threw her head back with laughter.

“But,” he continued, “seeing you now, your smile reaching your eyes, the constant pain and sadness in them gone, and the confidence you’ve gained. It makes me realise that as much as I will always hate myself for letting you leave… letting you go… it was the right thing to do because you and I wouldn’t be where we are. You…”

Dean swallowed hard, hating even the thought of what could’ve been. “You would be living your life completely in my shadow, or I would be in prison, and you probably wouldn’t be here at all,” Dean said, wiping away the tears falling down his cheeks.

“I know, Dean,” Y/N smiled sadly. “It broke my heart, and I won’t pretend otherwise, but it was the right thing for us to do. Please forgive yourself for that. I do. We needed to grow on our own. I had to learn to protect myself and not rely on you to fight my battles. I had to learn to take care of myself for once, to put myself first and fix myself. I might have taken the wrong path once or twice, but I righted myself and am incredibly proud of who I’ve become.”

“Seeing you at the hospital and tonight, I love who you’ve become, and I can’t wait to get to know her better. I would be honoured if, once I’m fully healed, you’ll let me take you out to dinner so I can continue to get to know you again,” Dean smiled, anxiously awaiting her response.

“I’d like that,” Y/N smiled bashfully.

“Just so we’re clear, I mean as a date,” Dean grinned.

“A date?” she questioned, “Dean, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I am, Princess. I meant it when I said I never stopped loving you. You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I wanna get to know you again. Try us again. So… what d’ya say? A fresh start?” Dean grinned at her bashful giggle before she lowered her eyes and looked at him through her lashes. His breath caught in his throat as he was taken back to their teenage years when she looked at him like that often.

“A fresh start would be perfect,” Y/N smiled as Dean’s face broke into a joyous grin.

“But,” she continued, and Dean’s smile faded slightly. “I think this has probably been enough excitement for you on your first night out of the hospital, so I’m gonna go home and let you rest,” Y/N smiled softly.

“Come on, sweetheart! I just got you back,” Dean protested, and she chuckled.

“Dean, you look like you’re gonna fall asleep in your seat!” Y/N reached her hand out to cup his cheek and smiled fondly as he leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.

“You’ve got my number now. You can call or text me anytime. I’m heading into four night shifts, so please don’t think I’m ignoring you if I don’t reply right away.”

Dean nodded in appreciation that she’d thought to tell him that. If he had texted or called her and she didn’t answer, he would overthink everything and convince himself that she’d changed her mind about starting over.

“Alright, you win,” he pulled back reluctantly. “I’ll call you in a few days, and maybe we can arrange that date?” Dean smirked, and she giggled.

“I thought we were waiting for you to be fully healed?” Y/N teased.

“Oh, trust me, sweetheart, I will be,” Dean replied.

“Still cocky, I see,” Y/N smirked and leaned forward, kissing Dean's cheek. Standing from the chair, she put her jacket on and slung her purse over her shoulder. 

“No, don’t get up,” she protested as he moved to stand. “I can see myself out.”

“You will not. I’m walking you out,” Dean grunted as he stood, the pain in his chest throbbing after sitting idle for so long. One glance at Y/N had him roll his eyes at the ‘I told you so’ look on her face.

“Look, I was gonna have to get up anyway to lock the door behind you and go to bed. I might as well do it now and make sure you get to your car okay at the same time.” Dean opened the door for her and leaned against it.

“I suppose I can’t argue with that, can I?” Y/N chuckled.

“Nope,” Dean said, popping the p.

“Goodnight, Captain Winchester.”

“Goodnight, Nurse Singer.”

The next few weeks passed in the blink of an eye. To everyone’s surprise, Dean had done what the doctor told him and taken it easy until Dr Clark cleared him to return to work. Bobby had put him on light duties on his first shift back, which he’d hated at first, but about sixteen hours into a twenty-four-hour shift, he was grateful that he had it that little bit easier after being out of the game for four weeks.

Y/N had adjusted to life back in Lawrence well. She was in a good routine with work and had stopped taking as many overtime shifts as she had when she first came back. She filled her days off, reconnecting with family and friends and making plans with the new friends she’d made since her return.

They’d kept in regular contact, texting and calling every day. She’d been to his place a few more times in the past few weeks, always, she insisted, to help him around the house or to make sure he ate a decent home-cooked meal. Dean didn’t complain because he got to spend all this extra time with her.

Y/N’s impromptu visits were filled with remembering the old days and catching up with everything that had been and gone since they’d last seen each other. Their disastrous dating lives had them in tears of laughter, and the stories of her time before therapy had them in tears of despair.

They knew these conversations needed to be had, and if Y/N was honest, she’d much rather they have them before they tried their fresh start. If they waited until they were officially dating before having the difficult conversations and Dean changed his mind about wanting a second chance, wanting her, she knew she wouldn’t survive his rejection.

After several heart-to-heart conversations and everything Y/N had gone through in her first few years in Chicago aired to Dean, the relief she felt that he still wanted to go on a date with her took her by surprise. It made her realise just how much he, and this second chance, truly meant to her.

It was overwhelming because her entire future depended on things working out between them. Y/N meant what she said, if Dean didn’t want her, she couldn’t stay in Lawrence, not even as his friend, because it would kill her. There would always be doors open for her in Chicago, and she knew that, but she was done running.

Next Chapter >>

Tags: @acitygrownwillow @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @nelachu2423 @octoberclidan @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnbaby-67 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567

[thezenanna]

Your bridge started to burn when you ran all across it.

Patreon | prints | portfolio | commission | Buy Me a Coffee

story behind this weird erie looking illustration (if u dare)

I recently had a bad fallout with a fellow tattoo artist friend whom I treasured so deeply like a twin sister (she looked exactly like me). I think it's neat when you're surrounded by people who are good for you (i.e, people who respect your experience, supports your growth, but won't hesitate to call out what you can do better as well as learn from you).

But it sucked when the person I realized was good for me wasn't at all genuinely good for me.

She burned away every single bridges down to the last one which is me.

If you bump the brightness on your device to max, you can faintly see an eye lurking in the background. It was a drawing I did of her eyes.

She was and still an amazing artist. Her personality was fierce unlike my soft one. People kept mistaking us as twins everywhere we went. So we started bonding like sister. I've always longed for an older sister figure in my life. She thought that I was much better than her actual younger sister. We made a promise that if we ever did something the other didn't like, we would say it to each other's face instead of hiding it and risk it piling up til one day one of us couldn't take it anymore. She was caring and helpful to me. I've always been attentive and treated her with utmost affection (more than my actual brother even).

I could say as many admirable things about here as well as her flaws. I saw her flaws but I looked away, or at least tried to think the best of her, such as coming up with some reasonable explanation for her unreasonable actions sometimes. I was mentally justifying her problematic behaviours with other people in other words. The way she treated other people wasn't okay sometimes, and I would say something to made her feelings valid and kept my actual opinions to myself, while receiving a much different story from others. It was working until it wasn't. I didn't see it coming because I would never thought one day she would direct those problematic behaviors right back at me.

She is a narcissist. I won't go into details what exactly she did to me, but it was enough to tell me that she didn't treasure me as much as I did to her. Hells, she never really treasured me at all. I felt deeply betrayed. I'm the kind of person who wears their heart on their sleeves, so the whole thing left me devastated for weeks, even a bit now still.

My girlfriend and my other tattoo colleagues who actually care about me pointed out and analyzed how she was gaslighting me and using me. She literally had problem with each and everyone in the studio and now me, the person who has been the most affectionate to her. They didn't want to intervene because they respected my personal life choices. My tattoo mentor sort of predicted the whole thing for awhile as well. I still would like to believe that she did actually cared about me at one point but then it turned into something else selfish.

All that said, I didn't regret loving her like my twin sister. I would not change all the things I did for her. I'm a firmer believer in love and kindness are what make people even though it sucks that some doesn't think of them so. My mentor asked me if I was trying to to fix her when I was close to her. I said no, I never thought of her broken to begin with. I just felt like she was so alone and she seemed like she lacked a lot of love, so I was happy to give her.

She could have been the greatest, but shame she just had to go burn down all the bridges and pushed out everyone.

That being said, I still believe in love and kindness, and will open the doors happily for everyone who comes into my life, even if it means risking my heart.

I'm most proud of myself for not quitting art, for still getting up in the morning knowing that I lost a sister. Even when I wasn't producing any commercial illustrations that benefit my career, just drawing alone has been quite meditative in helping me process my feelings peacefully, as well as giving me something to do, keeping me away from moping in bed.