Out here trying to just write a fun and slightly awkward first time but these goddamn men are suddenly out here giving themselves Revelations and Dramatic Moments and the best worst sex of both of their lives and I just
That is not what this is for
That is not what I wanted
But it’s good shit and I have nowhere else to put it and if I stop and go back what the hell else do I do instead?
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I've always known that my dad loved us, but nothing's driven that home as much as everything we've found in the After.
Our prominence in his home (pictures, father's day cards, gifts on display, the letter), the way he prioritized us... and a damned good life insurance policy, set up specifically so that if he died early (always a possibility, since driving jobs are more dangerous than many) then we would have enough to get ourselves Set.
He raised us to become as independent as possible as soon as possible. Made sure we knew how to cook, clean, handle our finances (though he was hilariously kind of bad at that, himself), and much more. I've been doing my own laundry since I was about 10 years old, so it's a surprise when I hear about people going off to college still not knowing. Utterly unimaginable to me.
He wanted us to finish college so we could live more comfortable lives than he did. My sister accomplished this in good time. I have not. But with his final gift to us, this life insurance money, it's a very real thing I could do. I could Realistically pay for the rest of my schooling and not even have to work through it. And in not having to work as I take classes, I can dedicate myself to them more thoroughly than ever before, and hopefully Finally finish my degree.
Just as he wanted for me.
I'll always miss him, since having him in my life was worth more than any amount of money I could have. But I'll always be grateful to him for everything he gave to me.
I dont need a mother, however much mine is trying to scrabble for us right now. I haven't had a true mother in a long time (or maybe Ever).
Instead, I had the best father I could've ever asked for. He was the only parent I needed.
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still kind of ticked abt how my trans friends get all the respect in the world and my parents are putting in effort to use the right pronouns and gendered words and then when it comes to me i get "you wont be a boy unless you cut your hair short" yelled at me at the dinner table
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I know that like rule number 1 of job hunting is not to get attached to any job you've applied for, but I applied for a diversity and inclusion analyst position in a northern state I'm dying to move to and it is consuming my thoughts.
Keep your fingers, eyes, and toes crossed for me.
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I'm watching "My happy marriage" on Netflix and God damn is this girl annoying! People are throwing her less than breadcrumbs and she thanks them for it. Hell, those the "good-ish guys" are throwing her fucking rat poison and she still thanks them for it.
I was hoping there'd be some character growth, that she learns to recognise the abuse around her and learns to stand up for herself. And while there's been some of that as well as trusting her husband's family that is actually worth trusting. She still not even remotely recognises, how 95% of people don't give a shit about her personally and only want to use her for her power. Half her family literally abused her because they thought she had no power and the other half left her to that abuse before they found out she would be useful. And this girl still fucking thanks them for it!!!
She has been abused for such a long time and the fact that no one sits her down and explains to her that it wasn't her fault, that she didn't deserve to be treated like that and needs to ask for help, if ever anyone else locks her away or forces her to do things she doesn't want to do, is upsetting in its own right.
God damn it. I hate romantic anime.
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I (genuinely!) love how having many writing WIPs and having a books TBR list is a little bit like raising bunnies. it’s like,
1. you have 34 fanfic ideas.
2. you write one (1) fanfic, using one of the ideas.
3. you now have 57 fanfic ideas.
and for books it’s a lot like,
1. you have 150 books on your TBR.
2. you read two (2) books.
3. you now have 168 books on your TBR.
like, it’s genuinely, literally, something that delights me so much, that the more you read/write, the more things you discover you have yet to read/write still. it’s such a joy, and I love how creating your own stories and reading other people’s stories truly just keeps yes/and-ing itself to infinity :)
it’s like one of my favorite lines from The Lion King’s song The Circle of Life,
there is more to see than can ever be seen /
more to do than can ever be done
like. isn’t that beautiful? ♡
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