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#the sex one is kinda old -_- the art specifically .. WHATEVER
elfdyke · 9 months
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rahhh roe and june content be upon ye
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taffywabbit · 9 months
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im also anti proship but calling rugrats porn drawings "child porn" really dilutes the severity of actual child porn. we shouldnt be confusing actual cp that hurts real children with just weirdos drawing porn of cartoon characters that happen to be kids, the two things are not at all on the same level
ok i suppose this was inevitable, i may as well get into it.
(CW for some discussion of CSA and child pornography, obviously)
first off, "i'm also anti proship but" is a terrifying way to start your message, and to go and follow it up with some extremely common proship copypasta i've heard a million times about "taking attention/resources/severity/etc away from real CSA victims" or whatever kinda makes me wonder how "anti proship" you actually are...?
kind of the point of this whole debate is typically that "proship" folks insist that fiction, or in this case "porn of cartoon characters that happen to be kids" as you put it, has no effect on reality or people's mindsets. and so-called "antis" like myself generally respond to this idea with something along the lines of "well it sure seems to affect the reality of your cock and balls", and point out how repeatedly consuming media with a particular focus or message has been shown time and time again to quantifiably influence the way people view the world around them, in ways that subsequently affect how they act, or desensitize them to things that might otherwise upset/offend them. y'know, like political propaganda! or blockbuster movies about killer sharks! obviously some people are going to be more resilient against that sort of influence when the real-world equivalent of "porn of cartoon characters that happen to be kids" is something so blatantly unacceptable, and nobody is really claiming that the impact of fictional CP is "on the same level" as its IRL counterpart.
but at the very least, most people who would be considered "anti proship" WILL tell you "hey, i'm not trying to say that you jerking it to twitter porn of Gwen Tennyson or Tails or whatever is LITERALLY THE SAME as committing CSA, but it's still really fucking concerning and creepy that the majority of your sexual fixations are all specifically cutesy vulnerable cartoon characters under the age of 12, many of whom also have canonical adult designs that you conveniently avoid in favor of sexualizing the ones that are barely old enough to learn long division. you should maybe do some introspection and figure out why that is and whether or not you're really comfortable with what it implies about you. personally i know I'M not comfortable with that shit and i'm not going to keep hanging around you unless you make some serious changes." except usually in my experience the conversation ends up being a lot shorter and ends in a block pretty quickly. like i'm not a psychologist and i don't keep a bunch of studies on hand to throw at you about how fictional CP is often a factor in grooming, but i DO have a brain and can pretty clearly see when someone is rationalizing behavior that will lead them to places i'm not willing to follow.
ANYWAYS to focus more specifically on the actual reason we're talking about this (which was, to be clear, a mobile ad Tumblr served me that depicted one of the dads from Rugrats having sex with his 3yo daughter): yes, actually, that shit IS illegal to create or distribute. it's not the SAME as literal photographs of real children, OBVIOUSLY, but it's still also extremely fucked up in its own right, and any reasonable person in your life would probably stop talking to you if you told them you got off to it.
don't believe me about the legality part? check this out:
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so like, I GUESS you might get some legal leeway with cub furry art or sonic porn or stuff that isn't always obvious in how much it's intended to parallel real children? if you really care? but this ad was literally multiple illustrations of a human adult man having intercourse with a human toddler. it's pornography centered around openly fetishizing the sexual assault of a child by a parent. i fail to see how referring to that in shorthand as "child porn" is inaccurate in any way that matters.
and Tumblr is a US-based company, beholden to the laws shown above, so they are at least somewhat responsible when illustrated pedophilic incest porn gets shown to thousands of their mobile app users in an ad they got paid to display. THAT was the original point i was making in my post. but thank you for trying to derail it to interrogate my "anti proship" views or whatever, i have had multiple people send me fairly nasty asks about it in the past year and you finally caught me in a moment when i was already pissed enough about something else that i felt like going off about this stuff. sorry if you actually agreed with most of this and i came off as overly rude/harsh, but if that's the case then this response is for all the other anon asks and replies i've gotten too, i guess.
now we're all clear about where i stand and i hopefully don't need to talk about this again - it's kind of a fucking bummer to think about this stuff and i've been avoiding the subject intentionally. you are always welcome to just block me if you have a problem
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pumpkinstrawbrew · 1 month
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OK, what about the Arkhamverse NSFW headcanons? In a previous NSFW post, you mentioned that there is a difference. What is it? (Well, except that Arkham Knight Scarecrow is hardly as mobile as his comic version).
P.S. I really appreciate your headcanons, you the only one person who loves comic version of this ship! Others talks only about Batman Begins batcrow.
[looks away from arkhamverse based art, i’ve started drawing 4 days ago] now, that’s an interesting coincidence. everything had aligned for arkhamverse scarebat!
arkhamverse is genuinely such a volatile place for them. on one hand, you have jonathan who is mostly just being a gremlin, an' then, you have the most pissed off, destructive jonathan crane who was ever created. you have bruce, who keeps it together. an' bruce who is on verge of mental exhaustion an' have 1000 years old guy stare.
but ah, i feel like depending on the exact timeline, things would go differently in each ‘version’. so in a way, there is difference not only between them an' other adaptations, but a difference within the arkhamverse itself. i suppose, i’ll begin with the least loaded one. the arkham asylum era. the place, where sex still can be mostly fun an’ way less ridden with extra baggage *just your typical, classic scarebat one* 
if we look at aa!crane, he resembles comicverse one a lot in behaviour, but only in certain ways. he's the same ole classic jon on paper, less so in actions. for one, he's the least self-conscious out of all the cranes, despite this trait being pretty much inseparable from majority of them an' deeply conected with their origins / narrative on main *even within the arkhamverse timeline* yet, here he is. he’s not really caring to be half-naked in front of the bat. just look at him an' his nipples being out in the open. he has no shame at all lol.
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the sheer fact, that batman can see all of it, an' in huge format too is smth else. jon has no real reason ot bend that far btw thinking about bruce being perplexed by this unsual sight, but not being able to ‘break the character’ an’ actually ask about it' is kinda funny. esp when he finds out that there is no underwear beyond jon’s pants as well! 
i imagine that due to whatever psychotic episode that made jon be half-naked in the first place, he’s also only bothered to put on pants. his underwear is somewhere unknown. i don’t imagine that he did it for some sexy or coherent reason, it's just smth that happened. i also think this jon’s pants have no zipper. while, it’s mostly connected to design an’ such, i tend to picture most versions of cranes liking the pants that you can just untie an’ tug down vs needing to zip or clip them with a button. doesn’t mean, that they all wear them. but i feel like arkham asylum an’ BTAS ones do, when they are inside their costumes. so essentially, bruce will have zero problems with getting pants off this specific version of him. the bat can literally yank on them, an’ they’d be hanging on jon's thighs.
in comparison, aa!batman is fully dressed. the visual of jonathan with his limited, easily removable clothes pawing at the bat, who is fully covered is…nice. usually, they touch costume to costume, glove to glove, but here, even sensually wise, that’s a new territory. esp if bruce wears armor *depending on skin of the suit* an' it is cold / warm to touch an’ jon will feel it with naked skin. for a hypersensitive loser virgin like crane, it’ll be mindblowing an’ also taunting an’ teasing.
funny enough, i feel like that version of jonathan *out of all of them* is the most receptive one to any sorts of suggestive signals. he’s less cautious an’ more curious about touching or being touched in any different fashion, than he’s used to. bruce brushing his side with his hand with seemingly not very formed, but not violent intent, will cause him to pause, but feel more interested in this oddity, rather than being instantly paranoid about it. in a way, it might be blamed on maniacal episode that he goes through, but it’s also just how he feels to me. as someone who might stand lustful touch without freaking out by proxy. wherever crane would have an upper hand or not, he can try to work with the situation in a less incoherently intense way, if compared to BTAS an’ comicverse ones. who tend to react to things they don’t understand very poorly or throw a fit, bc they have no idea what else to do. i imagine, aa!jon to be the most likely crane to get bolder faster than the rest an’ wanna get to touch bruce too, not just be touched. i guess, unlike his other counterparts, he’s not super shy about being bat-horny. he's more of desperate virgin vs them, who are a prudish one lol.
meanwhile, aa!bruce seems like he’d be less paranoid about all those things as well, if his interactions with catwoman are anything to go by. he might get carried away more easily, an’ be less closed off, when it comes to touching / showing interest, which BTAS an’ comicverse bruces usually struggle with. at least, when it’s sincere an’ not just playboy attire. aa!bat seeing crane’s not very well-hidden interest won’t make him freeze in place, baffled at how he should respond. he would hesitate, naturally, but way less than BTAS or comicverse ones, who are just like their respective jonathans, might have a blue screen of death moment. aa!batman might improvise, when pull comes to shove with less restrictions. in the moment fucking can pretty much happen there.
admittingly, aa!scarebat doesn’t have a lot of extra emotional / narrative ‘meat’ behind it. at least, not within the game itself, but if we combo what we have with some comics references, smth can really be cocked in there. for me that segment was always accidentally sexy, without it even trying or aiming to be. i’m very alluded to situations where jonathan uses his gimmick as a way to trap the bat, an’ keep him away from everyone else. in those moments, jonathan treats bruce like he’s fully his to observe an’ dissect. an' he never hides how much it pleases him. but jon trapping the bat with him, is also trapping himself with the bat too. the power tides can be shifted fairly easily. esp if jon is less hostile about them shifting, if it means he can get smth out of it.
also funny lil fact, while i always remembered that part of the game as cool an’ oddly suggestive. i also remember mistakenly thinking that when batman broke out from ft's stupor an’ reached out for jon, that he grabbed him by his nipple an' not his collar-piece lol. i was sitting there like ‘uh um', before squinting an’ realizing, that it was just my wishful thinking. but honesty, considering how petty batman can be toward scarecrow, this wouldn’t have been even out of character. esp bc it’s so baffling an’ humiliating for crane, who wanna be a big scary monster, but keens from the slightest of touches like a lil bitch. light nipple torture be like…the breaking point for him. i mean, everything in that set up was just asking for some kind of pwp situation, really. even with how huge jonathan could technically do things to ken sized bruce, while in reality, it would have been comically grounded. a bizarre kinky power play, if you may. the joker an' co being able to hear / see it through monitors be like 'lol okay. not the kind of show we wanted, but that'll do too'.
for me arkham asylum setting was more visuals before narrative in a way. vs where in other scarebat versions, it's like narrative first, sex comes a bit later. so imagine my surpise back then, when after this whole oddly porny mindfuck *fighting skeletons was an allegory for fighting a boner, come on* the arkham knight instalation provides way more emotional / narrative weight to bat an' 'crow's interactions. things are pretty wild there from the very start, even if they still more sexually charged, than they had any right to be as well.
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‘what do you see, batman’ the scarecrow asked, an’ well, bruce was seeing your hypnotic hip swag, jon. that what he was seeing. jonathan comes back in style an’ fully covered, *prob with underwear on this time too* save for his hands. an’ he might not have a face any longer, but he got them, long legs. croc had chewed on one of them, but judging by his fashioned walk, it’s not that problematic for him. jon can even get on his knees, which is good. removing his pants still be hard, but at least, he can sorta move around. in fact, i'd say he moves very fluidly most of the time, which if we compare it to aa!crane wasn't his typical body language. but then again, if jon have chronics pains, which i assume he does, it prob makes sense why he would move with more calculation, rather than commiting to his more usual jerky gesture / faster strides.
that's aside, out of all the other versions of scarebat, this prob the one, where sex can act as an attempt to communicate things or let certain emotions manifest in this fashion. jonathan’s entire motivation in that game is literally his heavy-handed emotions for the bat an' his incapability to cope with his hope being smeared. the knight didn't save him. everything is meaningless now. he went into full blown doomer mode. him being fueled by this prospect in different ways can get very taxing. as the wanting an’ longing never stops an’ it’s such a salt onto his wounds, i'd imagine. an' he was never good at handling things, that actually hurt him. it even worse, than now his body constantly reminds him of said cruel betrayal too.
so regardless of any sort of deep buried sentiment, ak!jon is capable of things, most cranes usually wouldn’t consider doing. but like, if he’s about to destroy the bat anyway, why not take it in a different direction as well? all while, batman has a devil on his shoulder, who might suggest similar thing. bc if you don’t wanna kill, you can let this rage out in a different fashion too. 
they are very explosive mix tbh. the fact that whole of gotham suffers just bc jon has hurt fee-fees *along with other things* is so cartoonishly intense. it's like oh no, not jon's fee-fees. he's so terrible with handling those. why would you do this to him, bruce lol. at least, this what it's for me. i think, other folks often paint ak!jonathan way cooler, than he really is. he's literally goes into that plan, bc he's viciously upset about the guy, who he unknowingly relayed on, to not act in time. not bc he suddenly decided to take down batman just bc idk, he's super evil an' found his groove or whatever. jonathan IS a very scary person. he truly is. but not for the reasons people seem to like him to be. in fanon, he can be whatever really. but in canon, he's the same sensitive, delusional maniac, he always was.
[clears throat loudly] anyways, while there isn't any most indigenous ways for any version of scarebat to bang / develop relationships, since a lot of things can heavily depends on separate factors, i do think that not use the pure agression in arkham knight would be a waste. it's so rare, when you can have bruce, who isn't fully corrupted per say, but who actually struggles to keep his darker urges under control, bc things get too much, too bad, too fast. an' there isn't many forms of outlets, close to none even, that he can use without actually accidently murdering someone. an' you have crane, who is the most angry he can ever be with the bat. who wants nothing more, than to hurt him in ways, that cannot be reversed. there is just no room to actually talk about things. not that either of them would use it on a good day, but it's like mission impossible in here. the sheer detail of how much more hands on bruce is toward crane during this game is also smth to note. bc in most other adaptations, while he does touch him, when they fight. he isn't throw him around for no reason. ak!bruce does literally that the second they come face to face lol. an' jon wasn't even resisting for that matter. so if bruce handled him like that without provocation, how much more poorely if could have went, if jon actually done smth to earn it.
an' considering how even normal sex would have been somewhat uncomfy / painful for ak!jon due to his injuries / scars, one can only imagine what extra meaning or sensation, it might hold, when there is purposeful roughness to it or the opposite gentleness. esp bc beneath all that anger an’ contempt, jonathan would be appalled an’ humiliated to find out how much he is still earning for it. even after everything, he can’t really change this about himself. a dog desperate for a bone. an' the bat is somewhat desperate too, even if he mostly wants for the dead clown to finally stfu.
the dom / sub undertones are often presented in scarebat's dynamic throughout their shared history, even if in smaller doses. in arkham knight it was like, all over the place. you have constant beating, chocking, barking commands an' so on. i feel like if in other scarebat adaptations it'll be more like 'the only lube they have is spit', in here, it's more 'the only lube crane gonna get is spit' lol. at least, in some variations of events.
i think all cranes would find the prospect of bruce wetting his fingers with his own saliva an’ shoving it inside them thrilling, but it also might have a different context an’ slightly different effect too. there is pain that is rewarding an’ there is pain, that just kinda well, pain if this makes sense. i also think that if you wanna see bruce who gets turned on by crane’s pain, no matter how grossed out he is by his own reaction, it’s this one too. all those latent bad bad thoughts waking up, but only directed at the one person.
they can have more balanced out interaction too. there isn’t limit to how it will go, esp bc i feel like that no matter in what state bruce is in, he would still be somewhat considered of crane. the scene where the jokered up bat went to choke jon an’ his reaction to it, kinda implied that the pressure an’ the grip itself was different. prob stronger an’ more deadly. since angry or not, bruce will still hold back, after all. jon couldn't say the same about himself even on a good day. but now, it's endless bad day for him, so gloves are off. or well, the needle glove are on in his case lol. the bat should kneel under the power of his gay incel rage.
when i ponder on them an' their situation, it's honestly feels like they need to get all that complicated, agro stuff out first, an' then get to actually thinking about all of it an' what they feel. in canon, they never done it. they destroyed one another instead, which made for a good, tragic story, but at the same time....what if it went differently? what if bruce found a way to console jon's rage, an' what if jon found a way to keep the knight's demons away? they are in the end, the only people who can prob do it for one another. akrhamverse is doom & gloom on main, but at least, let their pants be down lol.
an' welp, there isn’t a lot of space left to talk about the post-game situation, *i even had to cut out a lot of stuff from this one,* but there is hope for them in there too. i love the idea of bruce trying to fix things at best of his ability, an' refinding what made him a hero in the first place. since crane did got it right. batman isn't just a guy, who goes out an' beats up evil dudes, he's the symbole of hope. they both had such a sad outlook on it during ak. it worth imagining what could have been, if it still could have been not actually mend back together, but bettered somehow.
*an' i’m glad that you can gather smth from my hcs or more like, rants. talking about scarebat is a lot of fun. comicverse, BTAS, arkhamverse. so much to pick from an' to think about. luckily for me, each versions still holds essence that i love about scarebat, even if their personalities differ in some aspects. which isn't smth that i can say about nolanverse. my mind just blanks out, when it comes to that version. don't really have anything to say about them.*
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lostsneeze · 8 months
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Some Blue Forum Thoughts
TLRDR: It's only going to get worse so keep being sweet to each other everyone, here and discord are gonna be all we have
While not the most active member, I was on the forum for a pretty long time, long enough to notice some of the ways it's changed that I've been thinking might have subtly eroded the culture it fosters. Way back in the day, the Sneezing In Media subforum was used mostly to hunt down clips of shows or movies on youtube and share alerts of when particular episodes were going to come on TV in various regions. Y'know, so you could set your VCR to record them, a thing people used to do.
Nowadays though, movie/show media is a lot easier to find. So instead it's a lot of questions about if clips of particular celebrity individuals sneezing at all exist, and shares of youtubers, streamers, clips off tiktok, etc. That's not surprising, the media landscape has changed a lot since like 20 years ago. But it's...kinda weird, right? Streamers aren't really like movie actors or show characters, celebrity-wise. And most people on TikTok are just, like, regular people.
Hey you know how we have a persistent problem in this community from creepy folks behaving with a deranged sense of entitlement towards the videos and wavs other people make, obsessively collecting them, and even harassing creators for more in perpetuity?
Somewhat of an aside, but if you've seen my age in bio you might've noticed I was talking about 20 years ago on the forum and thought to yourselves "hey wait a minute, wouldn't that have made you a..." YES! Minors used to just be allowed on the forum! Maybe most people know this but until relatively few years ago there was a "youth" subforum where only minors were allowed, and all explicitly 18+ stuff like talkin' about sex and drugs was relegated to the "adult" board. Anything else was just open to whoever. Minors could "interact" as is said here.
And that was an upgrade, btw. Those segregating boards didn't always exist, for much of the forum's lifespan you could just...be 13 years old. And post observations, like about your classmates, in the general board. And click on art topics with full frontal nudity (honor system not to!). And get DM'd by middle-aged adults. Pretty bad!
The point of that digression is to say that the staff, even though it's different people by now I'm sure, has a tradition of moving slowly on even fairly glaring community issues. If something's not technically immediately a problem for anyone, it's probably something they don't feel is their place to do something about, as long as they're taking care of the few "bad apples" or whatever.
Do you feel like it might be a problem, though? Does having an entire subforum dedicated to collating voyeuristic cam footage of strangers seem like it might be...bad? Like the kind of thing that normalizes, facilitates, even encourages specifically one of the worst types of people this community produces? I do, personally! I think it would be hard to prove the exact effect it has, and there's always going to be creepos, but it demonstrates a cultural attitude that I think is a bad omen. The kind of place that just lets that slide without examination or regulation, probably ends up letting a lot else slide too.
So just as I said in the tldr, let's all continue to be mindful about keeping this place a different kind of place than that!
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sock-to-the-third · 8 days
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Artificial Condition
By Martha Wells
I like how The Murderbot Diaries has a similar episodic nature as Murderbot’s favorite serial Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon.
I’m going to try to be brief about this ~ says the joy who can’t write a chapter below 10k to save zir life.
Asshole Research Transport
I love how ART can be equally compromised by a fictional crew but needs Murderbot’s help for emotional context. Also, I like how ART points out Murderbot being illogical (trauma’s a bitch).
It’s very slice of lifey in a fanfic sort of way which I love. I feel like alot of authors kinda suck at writing chill monotonous moments.
Sometimes I do want it old timey slow. I once read a book from the 1920s called A Voyage to Arcturus. It loved to take its time, eating up scenery, being a little goofy. Did it move the plot very fast? Fuck no. Was it fun? Very much so.
One time, they got naked before going on a spaceship for fear of being out of fashion and there was naked wrestling.
So I like ART.
New Crew
I love how you can consistently count on the crew being self-annihilating sweethearts. Like… Tapan… baby.. no! TvT
I swear it’s like Murderbots hearding kittens.
Tercera (te/ter)
Def. “a gender signifier used in the group of non-corporate popitical entities known as Divarti Cluster.”
I love how it’s just like another label and it doesn’t have a specific description.
*steps up on soap-box*
Gotta admit that Murderbot labeling them “female” beforehand made me squicky.
I know sex and gender aren’t the same thing. Murderbot’s prob just referring to sex cuz programming or whatever but from a writing perspective I can’t help but ask why?
Not to Wells, this isn’t a Wells specific issue. Just why do we need to point out man, woman, male, female etc. It tells you literally nothing of what a person looks like except someone’s preconcieved notions of gender to the point where I see these and I’m like — you’re writing a book, why not describe them?
But that’s more of a me hang up with society than Artificial Condition issue. Wells doesn’t put a whole lot of time into human descriptions so it’s hard to be bothered by it.
*steps off soap-box*
Anyway, I’m happy to see more neo-pronoun rep.
ComfortUnit
I was so gun-ho being like “LET IT JOIN THE TEAAAAAM!”
Totally was never going to happen in a million years, bit of character development I’m sure Murderbot is going to go through but fuuuuuuck, I want Murderbot to have a robot friend TvT.
Ok, tbf, ART is a friend now, I’m pretty sure.
But still, Murderbot needs another bot friend to have its back.
Anxiety
I love how much in these books anxiety plays a roll. Sure I’ve seen robots anxious or prone to nervousness like Hemoila from Revenant Gun but it isn’t quite like this.
Like so much of Murderbot’s character is about social anxiety down to using other cameras to watch itself rather than speak face-to-face with a human.
I’m not sure how else to word that it’s like a breath of fresh air seeing this presentation of it. Also, combining it with the commentary, makes such a fun read.
Prev: All Systems Red
Sequel: Rogue Protocol
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versegm · 2 years
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Yooo how about Director's Cut on The One from Carcossa? Give me the downlow on awkward shadow roommate and hand licking lol
I SWEAR I DIDN'T REALIZE I WROTE SO MUCH HAND LICKING
God. This might get kinda long, lemme add a readmore right away.
As you can guess from the title, I wrote this after going insane over The King In Yellow for a couple weeks or so. Unfortunately I have since actually read the king in yellow and they're not nearly as good as the five wikipedia pages I dived through made it sound, but it was still a very fun time to write.
It was also very much inspired by the general concept of "the monster under your bed." You guys have that too right? Like, children's urban legends or whatever?
It's also a pretty old story, I think I wrote it in 2020-ish? But I think it still hold up well.
The monster in the story is named Cahors, which is the name of a french town. I picked that name because the King In Yellow has a running theme of characters with names starting in Ca- (Cassilda, Camilla) and I wanted to keep it going. The human is named Neha, after a friend I had at the time I wrote that story (Neha, if you're reading this somehow, hi! Hope you're doing well! :D) Neha also has a blink and you'll miss it cameo in May The Moon Shine Upon Camlann, as a treat. To myself.
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Carcosa's writing system is based on qipus btw.
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About ten years ago or so I followed writingprompt dot tumblr dot com, and one of the prompt was thus: the apocalypse happens, you are the last survivor, and one day you find a message that reads "last one up turns off the light," with no other purpose to your life, you decide to do that. For some reason, it struck me.
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I don't actually remember for sure, but I think my reasoning behind that bit was to showcase why Cahors affectionates post-apoc stories specifically. It's their way to cope with the fact that their world ended.
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Ok so this story was originally meant to be erotica, and this would be the big sexy showdown, but I found it flowed better without the sex. This is actually a recurring issue with my writing when I set off to write porn. It is unfortunate.
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LOOK I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. THAT WAS THE FATEST WAY I COULD THINK OF TO LINK INTIMACY, TRUST, AND REALLY HAMMER HOME THAT CAHORS DOES NOT LOOK OR FEEL HUMAN.
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Very largely inspired by this piece of art that lives rent-free in my head.
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I'm just really proud of this bit :)
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I really wanted to do a callback to that one other scene in the middle of the story. I'm glad I pulled it off!
The story initially had another line about Cahors using their mask to extinguish the lights, but multiple people told me they thought it was confusing, so I removed it. It works better this way I think.
And there you go! Mostly it was me fucking around with worldbuilding and monster biology as you can guess.
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superourou · 4 months
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he/him ○ 19 years old ○ repulsive aroace ○ autistic ○ artist kinda?
Average blog for unappealing 18+ arts. Mostly stuff that involved tummy in general. Feel free to lurk around.
Drawings under "artgoeshere"
Personal rambles and related under "yappingbegone"
Original username was "teori-of-huh"
About this blog and contents
I won't mind if non/sex/ual or sf/w blogs are interacting, just please be at least 18 and knowing some of my contents was made with "18+ mind".
This isn't something I'll actually participate irl. Just both self-indulgence and stress and anxiety reduction.
Some stuff like pregnancy, ovi, soft/hard vore, etc, in its whole concepts or as paraphilia, aren't sex/ual to me. Those do often involve other sex/ual kinks I'm very into (found interest in vore just bc of borborgymus/"internal audio" esp). But even though they're still non/sex/ual to me, I'll still tag it as 18+ only and try to keep it away from minors.
I try to tag my posts properly, including potential triggers. But I won't tag them with general fa/nd/om and specific chub/vore tags (even in reblogs, due to how weird tum/blr search is lately).
The "I draw whatever I want" is inevitable. Sorry you have to deal with my cringy mischaracterization of the same Bom/bsh/ell and Sw/ind/le.
About me but personal edition
Neurodivergent, anxious, paranoid and stuff. Lurker and afraid to interact with people. I'm embarrassed over what interests and kinks I like.
I may subconsciously post personal or vent thought of "whatever mentally deteriorating" me at that time. I may realise and regret it late and always delete the post asap.
I use tone tags whenever I feel it's necessary.
I'm non-english speaking person, please expect poorly written sentences and too many basic words.
I tend to edit my posts if there's errors or cringe inducing sentences or adding forgotten stuff sorry-
I'm often late to respond to dm or similar things just bc of anxiety and overthinking issues.
Thank you for reading, hope you have a good one :)
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paper-n-ashes · 2 years
Text
The First Move
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Characters: Steven Grant x Female Reader (with a small cameo from ultimate wingman Marc Spector)
Words: 3.6k
Warnings/Tags: Explicit sexual content (18+ MINORS DNI), kinda subby Steven/dominant female dynamic, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected P in V, creampie
Author’s Note: I haven’t written anything in three billion years but here’s this thing I wrote. It’s about as canon-divergent as I can physically cope with, set before Steven meets Marc for the first time but he’s there. It’s a little fluffier than what I usually dive into but I’m still a whore so of course smut comes with the meal. (The Marc-focused part 2 of this story can be found here!)
~
“Earl grey, two sugars?” you asked sweetly to the man stepping towards the counter. Steven, undoubtedly your most cherished regular, a name you’d learned from the small badge he continually seemed to forget about taking off outside the confines of his job.
He let out a muted kind of laugh, nodding, not able to have his eyes reach yours.
Oh. Today was a no eye-contact day.
You tried your best to hold back your concern whilst processing his payment, not needing to say the price out loud. “I’ll have it ready for you in a jiffy.”
There was the whisper of an appreciative smile in his lips, but it quickly faded as he walked away, his stare securely trained to the floor. Steven was here every Friday evening, his order never straying from the one single beverage as he sat at his usual table. A window seat, watching the night play out before him in passersby.
In the months since his first visit to this tiny little café, you’d come to spend each week looking forward to this moment, when the clock struck 5:15, expectant of his kind face and curled hair coming through the door. Every interaction was different, and slightly unpredictable. Initially he was simply… cautious. Almost excessively reserved, barely able to fixate his pupils on any part of you. Slowly, you could see the familiarity and comfort grow. He began to return your smiles, speak with words and not movements, linger in conversation rather than want to flee from it.
On the good days, where the anxiety that always appeared to cling to him relaxed its hold, you would delicately initiate some casual conversation. His work, his hobbies, his family – each fragment of information willingly given a precious piece of his puzzle you felt a bizarre impulse to solve. The day he’d posed his own question back had left you nearly too flustered to answer properly. All he’d asked is how long you’d been working here, and you’d never been more excited.
You hoped one day he’d ask a very specific question. If he could see you at a different time, in a different setting. Amongst other people, or alone. Whatever he wanted, whatever he felt most comfortable with. Your fear of pushing him too far out that zone stopped you from asking the question yourself. You just hoped he would, when he was ready.
So now, seeing Steven almost completely revert to his old self, was a little disheartening. He’d slipped back into this kind of state a few times – on the bad days - but never quite this far. Glancing over while you readied the small tea set, he seemed troubled, a flustered kind of kinetic energy seeming to radiate from his sitting figure.
“Busy day at the art gallery?” you asked softy while setting down the porcelain teapot at his front.
Your voice had startled him, breaking him out of a peculiar trance. And he still couldn’t look at you. “Busy. Yeah. Always busy.”
You could have easily walked away, his dismissive answer a clear sign he wasn’t in the mood for a chat today. But a heavy feeling in your chest made you linger, noting the crumpled way in which Steven sat into his chair, like he wanted to appear as small as possible. Something was wrong.
“Is everything okay?”
His head turned, finally lifting his face to meet yours. His expression was tense, forcefully blank, lips set in a hard line. There was only slightly more emotion to be seen in his eyes, a subtle fear within them you were sure you’d never encountered before.
“Fine. Just fine,” he stumbled out, the words coming out unnaturally fast. “Thanks for the tea. It looks… hot.”
There was a twitch of disgust he had at his own comment, and it made you relieved. The Steven you’d come to know was still there, underneath the shroud of distress covering every inch of him right now.
“Just let me know if there’s anything else you need, okay?”
You hoped he would see past the face value of your words, that he might see you as a safe haven in a world you also found a little too overwhelming at times. And while your offer was never claimed as the evening wore on, you’d occasionally peered over to see him quietly studying your movements. Each time you met his gaze with the the same warm smile before he quickly redirected himself away to his long cold tea.
It was difficult not to let the disappointment swallow you whole when Steven, quite uncharacteristically, didn’t even look your way before briskly setting off home. Usually you would have been filled with a bubbly warmth as the door bells tingled, right after the recurring “Laters, gators!” farewell you’d become so accustomed to. Without it, the tinkling metal sound was positively jarring. It made you worry. Did something happen? Had you done something wrong? Was this little fixation you’d centered on one man hopelessly one sided?
These questions continued to control most of your attention as closing time finally arrived, with you being the sole person left under the dimmed lights. With the coffee machine cleaned and prepped for a new morning you’d be waking to greet, you were about to take the keys into your hand when a shrill tone rung into the silent space. The telephone. Who the hell is calling here at this time of night?
It was out of genuine curiosity you scuffled over to the handset instead of letting it go to voicemail, not having a recognizable number show on the small display. Force of habit made your voice delve into its higher pitch as you spouted off the usual greeting with your name, the other line initially filled with a bizarre static alongside its silence.
“Hello?” you repeated. “Is there anyone there?”
Again, nothing. Just static.
“Look we’re already closed, and I’d really like to go home-”
“You need to make the first move.”
The voice stilted you off balance, frozen into as much stillness as the room around you. It was deep, blazoned with intention and… American? What the hell?
“I’m sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong number-”
“With Steven. You’re gonna need to make the first move,” the voice reiterated, somewhat forcefully. “He’s not going to do it himself.”
The mention of his name made you physically recoil, peering around in the almost darkness. “Who the hell is this? Have you been watching me?”
“I’m a… friend of Steven’s. And I’m just trying to… help.”
You should have been more concerned about the complete stranger making it his business to call your workplace at 10pm on a Friday evening with such a cryptic message, but there was suddenly a prospect of hope weaving its way around your chest.
“Wait, has he talked to you about me?”
A pleased exhale crinkled through the speaker. “In his own way, yeah. It’s… kinda complicated. And not important. Look, you’ve both waited long enough, and you and I both know he’s not exactly the brave type.”
To his credit, the stranger must actually know Steven to make this kind of comment, a frustratingly correct one at that. “Who says I’ve been waiting? You don’t even know if I’m interested in him like that.”
“You haven’t hung up yet,” the voice said succinctly. “I think that says a lot.”
Damn. He’d got you. Prick.
“Okay, let’s say I am,” you conceded, leaning into the counter. “What are you implying I do about it?”
“I already told you – make the first move. How you do that? Well, that’s your choice. But I can’t keep watching him slowly turn insane for not being able to ask you on a simple god damn date.”
The heart rhythm that followed was loud in your ears, thumping through your limbs. “Is that true? He’s wanted to ask me out, all this time?”
“He’s wanted to do more than that, trust me,” the stranger grumbled, almost in a huff.
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t worry about it.” A piercing alarm rung out on the other line. “Shit. Time’s up. Okay, I’m going to give you his address. What you do next is your decision, but let me tell you, being bold wouldn’t be the worst option.”
The voice didn’t give you time to reply before he was rattling off a street and apartment number, having to hastily write it over your forearm as the monotone beep of an ended call repeated over and over.
The air felt colder as you set the phone down, little wisps of ice creeping over your skin in direct contrast to the heat beginning to flourish from your insides.
He needed you to be bold? Oh, you could be bold.
*
Steven woke with a jolt, the restraints at his ankles making a rattling sound against the hardwood bedposts. Shit, he’d fallen asleep again. Maybe he should’ve made that switch to coffee by now.
Ugh, no, the heart palpitations weren’t worth it.
To his relief, the sky outside his window was still draped in blackness. Maybe his body hadn’t had enough time to try and wander yet. A quick glance at his phone screen told him it was just past 10:30pm, long after a safeguard alarm should have woken him from any accidental nap. Once again the memory of deactivating it wasn’t one his brain allowed him to keep.
It was getting harder to keep himself awake, that was clear. Every night he was drifting off sooner and sooner, always working at half capacity during waking hours without the restful sleep he couldn’t trust himself to have. Short bursts like these seemed to stave off most symptoms of exhaustion, but there was always that lingering headache quietly thumping inside his skull, the same one making his brow furrow as he unshackled himself from his makeshift snare.
A new deepened purple was noticeable under his eyes as he opened the mirrored cabinet of his bathroom, selecting the mildest form of painkillers in his meagre stock. He didn’t need anything making him more drowsy, even when the peace of slumber was the only thing he wanted right now.
Well, except for you.
The thought made his throat tight. All week he’d spent building up courage, rehearsing the perfect lines, curating a persona much more confident than what he knew he was. Casual. Relaxed. Maybe even a little suave.
It all went to bollocks the moment he stepped through the door. One little tinkle of that stupid bell and all his willpower came crumbling down. He couldn’t help it. It was the story of his life. Too chicken shit to even ask a nice girl out to dinner. Could have been simple. Easy. But it never was.
Knock knock knock.
The sound was startling, making Steven jump with an audible peep. A visitor? This late?
Oh who was he kidding, having a visitor ever was a shock in its own right.
Tentatively he tread over to the triple locked door, stripping off the undisturbed tape lining the frame. A breath sat heavy in his lungs as he stood there, heart thrumming to a quickened beat, releasing the exhale in a single, measured progression. Only when there was no more to give, he opened the door.
You.
It was you.
Standing in his hallway. There to see him.
Ahh, right… So he’d never actually woken up. Just stuck in another vivid dream. Seemed about right.
The realisation was deflating, even while his mind instinctively burst with those happy little chemicals it always shot out at the sight of you. It was interesting though, how sharp your visage looked compared to other times you’d shown up in his dreaming, wearing an expression of eager impatience.
“Hi,” you greeted, your voice unusually clear. And positively giddy. “I hope this is okay. Me just showing up here.”
Knowing you were just a figment of his mind’s conjuring caused him not to question your presence, or how you came to find his address, instead starting to feel a grateful smile spread across his face. “Yeah. Yeah definitely it’s fine. Brilliant actually.”
Your face radiated even more joy, almost a little disbelieving. “It is?”
In his dreaming Steven was starkly more honest than his real life, making it an easy task to answer, “There’s no one else I’d be happier openin’ my door to.”
There was a change in your features after he said the words, a change maybe only Steven would have been able to recognise after so much time looking to you from afar. Jaw tightened, eyebrows cinched ever so slightly. An expression of certainty, of conviction.
Two sets of fingers reached out to grab at his shirt, feet stumbling under him as a hurried connection occurred between your lips and his.
A kiss. You were kissing him. And it felt so… real?
Seconds moved on while Steven’s mind desperately tried to catch up, your mouth beginning to move over his with a fragile balance of hesitancy and greed. It took far longer than he would have preferred to respond in the same way, eventually syncing into the rhythm you’d set, the rigidity in his limbs settling into an embrace with yours. This certainly wasn’t the first time he’d imagined your first kiss, awake or otherwise, but there was something wholly distinct about the one he was experiencing now.
There was heat radiating from where his skin touched yours. A minty tang when his tongue slipped into your mouth. Your distinctive floral perfume sweeping his senses with every inhale.
When a hand slipped over the line of his cheekbone, nails softly scratching into his hair to pull his face closer, it finally clicked.
He broke away from you with a jerk, clutching at your upper arms. “Hold on a minute, you’re real?”
You seemed to need a moment to collect yourself, frankly looking a little dizzy from the sudden retraction. “What? What do you mean I’m real?”
“You’re here? Right now? At my apartment?”
Your nose wrinkled as you scrutinized his utter disbelief. “You literally just opened the door to me.”
“But… But I…” There was that same annoying delay Steven suffered from his brain to his mouth, his thoughts too jumbled to properly curate a sentence. “I thought… I thought that I was dreaming. I dream lot you know. And with you showin’ up here, I just assumed…” He shook you, needing to feel the full weight of you wobble back and forth. “But you’re here. You’re… really here. Right?”
For long, worrying, seconds your expression remained in its state of questioning alarm, blinking a few times to let your eyes focus again. As the narrowing pupils flitted over Steven’s face, he saw how a tempered smirk began to appear.
“Would you like me to show you that I’m real?”
In all honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure what you meant. But the tempting sparkle in your stare had him quickly nodding along to your offer. Immediately you had his heels skidding along the dusty, wood floor, maneuvering him backwards towards the unmade bed.
He might have worried you could notice the pysch-ward shackles still loitering at his bed posts, or the thick layer of sand crunching under your shoes, yet your attention was acutely fixed on pushing him into the mattress to sit, leaning down to secure him in an even more decadent kiss than the first.
Steven didn’t quite know what to do with his hands, having the odd reflex to claw them into your flesh but refraining from doing so in the fear of being, as most in his life would recite, a little too much. So he did his best to smother those reckless instincts, settling to merely drift his palms up your thighs to feel the curve, almost making to your rear when you began to sink down to the floor.
Fucking hell, you were on your knees. Between his. Trying to unlock his belt.
Impulse took over again as his own hands flew down to aid in your effort, working in tandem to unlock and shimmy down his starched trousers, his boxers being clutched along with them until he was on show for you. Fully and completely. So hard it hurt.
He might have let this kind of vulnerable state – one in which it’d been years since he’d faced – jump to overwhelm him, turning to escape in any way possible. But with you, gaping at his erection like it had taken the wind right out your lungs, the fear was purged from his body in a rolling wave, humbly sitting in anticipation for your next action.
Every nerve in his body lit up a spark when you gripped a hand around the base of his cock, already pulling a frantic rasp out his chest when the tip of your tongue swirled around the head. The sound swiftly transformed into a heated groan when you slithered your lips down the breadth of his shaft, enveloping as much length of him as you could adequately handle.
Up and down you started to move, slow by any usual means but quick enough for Steven to shudder through each breath he took, pangs of pleasure ricocheting through his lower limbs. Truly he wasn’t sure how he kept it together, watching your lips glide up and down his now glistening dick, your tongue swirling at the underside in a way he didn’t know existed until this very minute.
In fact, no, he couldn’t keep it together.
“F-fuck,” he choked. “Jesus fucking christ. I need to… I don’t want this to be over until…”
With a subtle gasp you retreated, wiping away the spittle from your chin, looking up to Steven with a single question coded in your stare.
Again his agreement wasn’t verbal, just a rushed bob of his head, very nearly the epitome of subservience. That’s all he wanted to be for you. The vessel of your pleasure.
Just as he answered without words, you responded with your movements, standing only to slink down the pants you wore, stripping off the rest of your ensemble as you straddled onto his lap. Gods, he wished he might have had the chance to glide a thumb over your bare nipple, but you were already reaching down…
And there it was, heaven.
Or as close as he’d felt it.
A moan of synchronicity occurred as you slid down to the hilt of Steven’s cock, clenching around it as you leaned in to kiss him, both palms clutching at his jaw. Nothing could have prepared him for the way you began to grind yourself over his full length, your hips determining their own unique pattern and pace.
Thrills of ecstasy began to riddle through him as your whines became louder with each stoke, each one gliding over with an impossibly smooth friction. No matter how hard he wanted to fight it, the point of no return dragged even closer.
He tried to think of anything that might stave off the inevitable climax. Sand. Mummified human remains. The annoying little beep his barcode scanner made during inventory nights ringing over and over-
“It’s… okay. Just let go,” you hummed into his ear.
“It hasn’t… Shit… It’s not been long enough,” he heaved, occasionally interrupted with shuddering moans he had no control over keeping tamed. “For you… It’s not been long enough for you.”
He could feel the crease of your smile at his cheek, in addition to a pronounced tightening around him down below. “Please Steven. Just let it happen. I want it. I need it.”
Your words, the sincerity in which you spoke them, broke apart all the resolve he had. Every muscle seemed to flex as a somewhat violent orgasm ruptured from his core outwards, continuing flashes of pleasure rolling in aftershocks as he emptied himself inside you. There were hissing curses he didn’t quite himself speak when your thrusting didn’t immediately slow, milking every ounce of fluid from him to your deepest part.
Oh god, was he supposed to do that? No one had ever let him do that before. It was so… warm. In fact, his whole body felt a similar kind of mellowed heat. This sort of afterglow was different to the ones following solo endeavors. More potent and endlessly more relieving.
And here he was laying there like a knob, not affording you the same sensation.
Steven frantically reached up grab onto your torso, unable to properly find his footing with his legs dangled over the edge of the bed.
“Hey woah! What are you doing?” you shot out, propping yourself up to look down over him.
“I was tryin’ to, you know, switch us around. Since it’s, well, your turn. And I don’t want to keep you waiting. I just… want to make you feel as good as you made me…”
The grin that spread across your lips made his chest thump. You looked touched. Usually he hated this kind of reaction in people, where they looked at him like some adorable, naïve soul. Although on you it made him feel… treasured.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s really not necessary.”
“It is to me,” he said unwaveringly. “I mean, it just wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t return the favour.”
Again your cheeks plumped with a smile, irises practically dazzling around their widened pupils. You grazed a set of fingers at his hairline, setting some the unruly curls back into place. “You could return it in a different way, while we take a break first?”
“How do you mean?”
“I like… tea.”
Steven let out a roughened chuckle, leaning up on his elbows. “Well I’m not the tea connoisseur of the room, but I think I can handle a brew. How do you take it?”
“Earl grey. Two sugars.”
~
If you read this, thank you! I love you with my whole heart.
Tagging a few I adore and thought might want to give this a read:
@tlcwrites @roanniom @foxilayde @blackberries45​ @hopeamarsu​ @caillea​ @princessxkenobi @mariesackler​ @sacklerscumrag
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classickook · 2 years
Text
paper hearts blurb: wildfire
pairing: stephen strange x widow!reader
summary: stephen’s pov of that scene from part seven. (includes references to the lucky one.)
warnings: some swearing, mentions of sex, suggestiveness (kinda 18+).
word count: 1.2k
a/n: as requested, here it is! i hope this meets your expectations 🤭
series masterlist | main masterlist
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(stephen's pov)
he had been watching you train all morning, admiring the way your lithe muscles flexed slightly beneath the burgundy fabric of your robes with each movement, your body rippling with charged energy, like a wild animal prowling beneath your skin just waiting to attack, ready to pounce at a moment’s notice. he couldn’t imagine the years of training and self-discipline that had been ingrained in you until all of this became second nature and barely took any conscious effort. 
your palms were covered by the traditional leather wrappings used in these training sessions, specifically those in hand-to-hand combat. stephen knew you had more experience in that department than anyone else in the courtyard, but he wanted to see it—experience it—firsthand. he wanted to see you in action, just a glimpse of how skilled you were. not that he hadn’t seen it briefly in the past while on joined missions, but this scenario felt different; it seemed more intimate, just the two of you with no outward distractions or enemies to cut between you. 
maybe it was sadistic of him to practically torture himself by willingly putting him in such a position, but he craved it and you more than anything else. he knew you were dangerous and even downright cutthroat in situations that called for such a response, but he was drawn to it—to you—like a moth to a flame, and he wanted to be burned by you. 
stephen crossed the courtyard and approached you with his request to train in hand-to-hand combat, as expected by all apprentices learning the mystic arts. you, however, didn’t seem to understand the need for it, claiming that you had years of experience under your belt. regardless, it was required and he wanted to show off your skills to the other apprentices and masters scattered throughout the training grounds. they needed to realize just who they were up against, and that it would certainly be more beneficial for them to remain in your good graces. this way, maybe he could garner the respect and reverence you deserved from your fellow sorcerers, while also developing friendships with those of similar ranking. he had the feeling you probably hadn’t had many friends in the past besides natasha and yelena, and now america.
you scoffed at his suggestion, “really? you think that’s necessary?”
“it’s required of all students at kamar-taj to practice both mystical and physical aspects of training,” he answered, already knowing how this conversation would play out.
you smirked at him and he could practically feel your energy surging toward him from where he stood a foot away. “whatever you say, but i’m going to kick your ass, old man.”
his lips curve into a smirk at the insult, though it didn’t feel much like one coming from you. in a way, it almost seemed like your version of a term of endearment, much like your continuous use of ‘doc’ when referring to him; he wasn’t opposed to it in the least. “i’d like to see you try,” he said, egging you on.
from there, the two of you took on your beginning stances, and as he made a step forward, he could only watch with bated breath as you kicked off the side of the brick building to the right of you and lunged at him. you swiftly maneuvered him into a headlock between your thighs and flipped him onto the ground with you positioned firmly on top of him, lean arms holding down his upper half and thighs pressed on either side of his hips. he swallowed down the groan rising up his throat.
“still think i need that training, doc?” you smirked proudly.
he shifted beneath you in an attempt to buck you off, but you just pressed into him further, and so he completely submitted to you, remaining pinned to the cobblestones.
in that moment and in that specific position, he was reminded of the ‘dream’ he’d had, the one that had been circling around in his mind practically every time he saw you, like a video tape caught in a loop of the same scene over and over without moving forward. 
he remembered the feeling of your hands in his hair and your warm mouth around him. 
he remembered how it felt to have you on top of him, all soft thighs wrapped around his waist and squeezing his cock inside your wet heat. his fingers had curled into your hips, clutching you close and stabilizing the shakiness of his hands as you rocked onto him, back and forth until he swore he almost blacked out. 
these constant glimpses into his multiversal selves were both a blessing and a curse: knowing that, somewhere out there, he could fully be with you in the way that he had been wanting, but not able to fulfill that desire—that need—here, was enough to break him. he wanted you in every sense of the word, and it was driving him crazy to watch you from afar, unable to touch you. he wanted to have you in his bed with your lips pressed to his throat as you made him cum. 
get your shit together, he berated himself, but he just couldn’t help it; he felt like a fucking teenager whenever you were around. he loved your playful energy and teasing nature, he loved the feeling of you on top of him, all soft curves and fierce strength. the dichotomy of it didn’t escape his notice, and somehow, it made him fall in love with you even more; the way that you were so sweet and kind, especially with america, while also remaining strong-willed and slightly stubborn—god, and the way that you constantly teased him and pushed his buttons—it turned him on like he’d never experienced before. he felt truly alive for once, and it was all because of you. 
you were a wildfire, fierce and dangerous, but beautiful all the same. if he wasn’t careful, you might just burn him if he got too close or if he made a wrong move; but he didn’t care, he wanted to feel you, be consumed by you in every way. he wanted to feel the heat of you licking at his skin like the tongues of a flame. 
suddenly, you jumped off of him and back into your original stance, reaching toward him with a shaky hand to help him up, but he was certainly in no hurry to join you. his eyes had squeezed shut during that moment beneath you, caught in his dream slash fantasy, and he needed to work past the straining bulge beneath his robes before he truly blew it. 
a sharp exhale passed through his gritted teeth as he opened his eyes again to see you leaning over him, messy braid flipped over your shoulder and eyes bright and lips slightly red as if you had bitten into them. you were so fucking pretty, he almost came in his pants right there. 
enough!
stephen cleared his throat before pushing himself off the ground and rearranging his robes in a way that wouldn’t completely expose his raging erection to the entire training grounds. he positioned himself away from you and was already partially facing the other end of the courtyard, ready to escape and get himself under control. he had always been so composed and self-restrained, but then you came along, and he was like putty in your hands.
“good, very good,” he said stiffly, “continue on with the others for now,” and walked away, grabbing a bottle of water and chugging its contents while thinking of anything and everything that would get himself to calm down. 
oh, you were going to be the death of him. 
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sugar-petals · 4 years
Text
Group Sex With SuperM
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SUMMARY: creating a group chat is all it takes.
↳ A/N. yep, we’re going there. 
words. 14k
WARNINGS ⚠️ friends to lovers hc, porn with plot, idol au, sex w/ all members individually and together, dom/sub dynamics, corruption kink, sexting, blowjobs & cunnilingus, gaping, graphic, pegging, bondage, light foot fetish, sex toys, spitroasting (m receiving), brat taming, dick riding, protected sex, doggystyle, cuddling aftercare
curious about an eightsome are we
understood
how’s the state of things then?
last september you decided to open an entire group chat just for planning your juicy sexual activities together
and oh lord is it active
and full of ideas
and explicit videos
and emojis
and excitement
yesterday taemin sent a clip of lusciously covering himself in champagne foam for you
wearing close to nothing
in fact just a piece of gauze, a snake-shaped necklace, and probably a bit of perfume
oh boy
watching that was an out-of-body experience for sure
the entire chat basically imploded with reactions
but hey hey
not so fast
we need to go through everything from the start
to see how all these utterly historic events happened to unfold
so where did all that come from?
first off 
befriending super m outside work (eating together, fooling around, bingwatching stuff, you know)
...means there’s no point nor chance in having a permanent favorite with a group like this
every member truly is the creme de la creme
super m is the package of the entire packages
they are so legendary you can bias each member for one day of the week 
and never run out of that pure bliss
in fact 
you all agreed to do exactly that on a regular basis to get to know each other casually
it just naturally happened
seven days seven members that’s just logical
you can’t always hang out together in full attendance so you split up your times and set specific days
you change that routine very often depending on your individual moods
but it usually goes like this because you want to develop closer bonds with them one-on-one
so this is how it ends up
mondays you work out with xuxi. oh, that sexy smiley man. his body is the ultimate bomb. is there something better than doing sit-ups next to him? anybody’s sports motivation would go through the roof. and if there’s someone you call to share a pile of food with? it’s just gotta be him. being with yukhei is self-care.
tuesdays, you visit ten to check out his latest dance moves. and: to have a huge cuddle session with the cats. sometimes, you watch whatever series you’re in the mood for. it’s always a time to slow down and mend your sore muscles from monday anyway. you think ten is so interesting and talented, and super pretty, truly one of a kind.
on wednesdays jongin and you often end up on long midnight walks with the dogs or you both look after his cute nieces. meeting up at the river han is a staple, you get ice cream and snacks. you adore kai because he’s a sweetheart and steadfast person, and admittedly... so damn hot, holy hell. being with him makes you feel great.
thursday is baekhyun day and full of cheeriness as you’d expect. long hours of gaming, cheeky skinship, banter, and pizza eating await you at his apartment. you adore this mochi for his everything, he makes you laugh uncontrollably so much. sometimes, you also comfort him when he doesn’t feel good about himself or exhausted from practice. he will sing anything you want, baekhyun is like your personal 24/7 radio station.
fridays it’s time for the studio. mark is crafting his most fire bars and loves to have you around there. you inspire him a lot. he’s just completely astounding and the sweetest to you. friday most people would go clubbing, but super m just has to meet up in the studio. no paparazzi, and the music is obviously danceable. i’m telling you: this mob can jop, duh.
saturday is for handsome taeyong who loves coming to your home. cooking, organizing, doing the laundry, and browsing youtube together is the best thing. taeyong is the shyest goodest boy and a great listener. he gives great advice and is the epitome of respectful. you just vibe very well together.
sunday you dedicate to taemin. you watch artsy films, experiment with outfits, and he plays the piano for you so expertly. man, you are lucky. he’s like a fairy to you, and a connoisseur, a mythical figure almost. since he’s a newly-found cat dad, you easily fill your day playing with the most interesting kitten that is lee kkoong. sometimes, you even meet shinee members dropping by.
so yes this is what paradise looks like
and they all love to engage with you in their own way and you develop favorite ways to spend time, they put so much effort into this
it goes without saying that you all realize how hard you’re crushing as the weeks pass
like can you imagine
all the hormones i swear
you’ve already been joking to them that you have seven boyfriends some months ago
well the prophecy is fulfilled faster than you can blink
when you meet up as eight for a movie night at baekhyun’s, the atmosphere feels pretty frisky
because lucas is sending you ten thousand glances and certainly nobody misses that
if this guy is laughing at your every word i mean
meanwhile taeyong is having a nervous meltdown at your every comment about the movie, it’s ridiculous, he’s smitten as fuck, he looks at you like you’re an actual goddess
mark keeps on making glimmering eyes at you as well, and he asks you if you want popcorn every two minutes
baekhyun is all curled up close to your lap and not even watching the movie because his face is almost nuzzled into your sweater for fuck’s sake
taemin has spent the entire preperation in complete frenzy making sure there are scented candles everywhere and the snacks are exquisite and costly. mother taemresa? at full throttle. he even used his own damn credit card.
meanwhile kai suffers from his fidgety legs, constant hair fixing and even more inability to concentrate on the movie 
because damn, he knows he wants your attention. he literally came around with the tightest shirt he owns so there’s that. you can see every little muscle doing its thing when he does as much as breathe. kai is now well aware he came to impress. it won’t take him a lot to realize he wants to be even closer to you than doing midnight walks.
ten is so firmly snuggled up next to you, he might as well be your cat himself. if ten starts acting like a clingy feline instead of being in roast mode, you know he’s lovestruck i’m telling ya
needless to say
the mood in the room is hard to ignore
hell there are romance candles everywhere all those hecking rose fumes are to blame
surprise surprise all the members try to sit as close as possibly to you the more the movie progresses
even abandoning the couch and seats to sit on the ground in front of you instead
“you want popcorn?”
“like some more popcorn?”
“here, have my popcorn!“
“more popcorn?”
“hey do you want popcorn?”
from all sides, constantly
the m in super m stands for making sure you have popcorn
you never run out
like when the leading lady is pulling out a cigarette in those old hollywood flicks and at least twenty guys are scurrying to offer a lighter
i’m exaggerating but
nobody even knows what kind of movie they’re watching tonight though
the elephant in the room is trumpeting too loud to understand the dialogue
you’re surrounded by seven big ole hotties who have fallen for you
it was inevitable
it’s more than clear to everyone that they all like you and you couldn’t be any more fluttered yourself
let the hunger games begin
i’m jopping i mean i’m joking
this is not the wwe
it’s pretty clear to the boys that if they fight you’re gonna be so unhappy and your quality time together is ruined
you adore them all, and they’d be regretful about hurting their own bonds 
and anyway
if it came down to it and the bad blood was really escalating um...
...ten would destroy all of the competition
there’s no denying
by the simple virtue of his badassery and winning disease
quickly reducing all his opponents to a pile of dust so fine-grained, the great freddie mercury himself would resurrect to sing the soundtrack in the background and pump his fist
imagine that. superm actually being gladiators i mean wasn’t that the entire jopping mv
baekhyun would try to pull the leader authority card and use his hapkido martial arts skill but ten would obliterate him anyway so
even if taemin put on a dark robe and drew a salt circle to summon a million snakes from hell, ten would win the fight to a fault
but that’s too apocalyptic and outside of that thought experiment the boys are actually kinda shy so... let’s scratch that
there are seven days of the week with good reason 
you ease the uncertainty and tension by saying you’d truly fail as a tv bachelorette
everyone understands that deciding would be impossible and cheating is shit
why give someone a rose and break 6 hearts when you can hand out a whole damn bouquet
it’s more stylish my friend
and for what reason would ten want to face off against taemin and his army of snakes in the first place. they’re ten’s greatest inspiration
nor does kai have any tighter shirts 
he already ran out, he brought his A game from the get-go
on top of that the popcorn is empty there’s no more to offer
so you remain with the idea to just keep your daily routine
xuxi monday, ten tuesday and so on
keeps everything in order
it’s fair
plus it doesn’t mess with their schedules
usually unless a big award show is coming up but that can be re-planned in advance as well
you know... things can develop in their own timing with each member
it’d be awkward to expect everyone to be on the same stage at once
baekhyun is comfortable with all kinds of back hugs while taeyong and taemin are still completely flustered and turn all wobbly at just a greeting wave
you know what i mean
it’s already clear everyone loves you very differently 
some members are more straightforward, others take it slow, it’s just a normal thing
that’s when the group chat is born
it’s still very sfw 
compared to how explicit it’ll be in the future ahem
and everyone is overcautious with writing something except baekhyun, the eternal extrovert
for now you keep each other updated on how it’s all going with trivial details
earlier you just had individual chats and baekhyun arranged the group meetings since he knows the schedule best
now it’s all in one spot so that works
everyone’s curiosity is quenched at least a little bit
and they see each other anyway and put their heads together
baekhyun will be the most open about how far your skinship slowly develops followed by lucas and kai who oggle each other in their usual tom and jerry manner
which you have an eye on
you tell the members something very important for when they’re envious
or feel the need to one-up or catch up
it’s the sign to get closer to you and that they’re ready for taking another step. that’s literally what jealousy is all about
that advice helps them out a lot actually
kai takes that to heart in particular because he knows he’s prone and feels bad about it
and they also learn from ten who carries a quiet happiness with confidence that doesn’t need comparison, but he can also talk very honestly about how he’s standing with you to the point
ten knows how it’s done
as expected of such a competent man
like he’s kissed your hands very lightly but he doesn’t feel the need to show it off all day
and he also leads by example together with taemin and taeyong how one can give compliments even when not being involved in something 
“you’re looking adorable together“ as taemin would often say about you hanging out with kai or baekhyun
a lot of praise culture is developing in the group chat
you like to see it 
and now for the other elephant in the room
as for who will ask you to sleep with him first
(and mind you at this point they’re all walking around with condoms in their backpacks and jackets)
believe it or not
after the finishing touches on his latest mixtape (oh yes), and those tracks have you feeling some kind of way oh shit, mark gathers all his courage
yes it’s mark lee 
literally he steps into the blaze of bravery of jongin when he first put on a crop top
and gets out a little “can we... some time... you know...” after you’re having some pretzel sticks together and awkwardly sitting around
oh what's gonna happen next huh?
you say you’ve been thinking about it a lot
that he has a great body doesn’t go unseen
and tell him how you imagine it with him
long story short you’ll have your first quickie in the sound booth that night
cutting straight to the chase
him steadily penetrating you from behind, you leaning closely with your back to his chest
just standing and enjoying the rhythm
that dick. is amazing.
oh god, mark lee
long, curved, smooth, a classic
meanwhile your fave rapper is definitely going through it
his arms tell you everything
that’s an embrace for the books
he’s hugging you like his life depends on it
you can just take in how he’s been showering twice today this guy is clean as fuck he smells so good
getting off from shampoo and fabric softener is not what you expected but it definitely makes you clench
you both know he’s not gonna last for more than six minutes and that’s ok
that’s a lot of long-held frustration released into that condom
and a lot of passion put into how he puts his guitar fingers to work on your clit afterwards
jimi ‘lee’ hendrix has arrived
oh yeah mark, you fucking treat, fuck it up
that way you won’t last long either since you guide his finger tips to your favorite spot and the motherfucker completely goes for it
“like this, like, um?”
and he goes off with the wrist
oh shit
it’s all kept so short and simple and you’re on the oldest mustard-colored studio couch that ever existed but mark lee is mark fucking lee nothing can obstruct his quality
like this guy has some serious skills with the angles
that orgasm is gonna get some moans you didn’t know you were capable of out of you
never wasting time, that guy is he
mark definitely fucks like he raps. fast and good
you cool down together looking each other in the eyes, forehead to forehead, for like fifteen minutes, and you give each other little chaste kisses all over your faces and he melts every time
your little rendezvous was definitely so needed 
you ask if you can bring some vibes to play around with and a watermelon next time
you don’t have to ask twice
mark is so damn happy
and the timing was right
straightforward and spontaneous. that definitely works well with mark
no complaints, you go home feeling comfortably refreshed. you’ve told him he could tell the others or wait to do it, this is up to his comfort because he is shy
neither happens
after just one glance at him the next day while the group is doing a photoshoot
baekhyun already knows mark slept with you 
he just knows
and makes a loud “ohh wow, you did it” noise
ten takes two only glances to understand what’s going on too
mark nods and the whole group is highstrung for the entire day
like a hive of bees oh yes
kai is massively proud of raising mark so well but also really surprised
unlike taemin who calmly advised mark on many things in advance
guess where mark’s fingering skills originate from
he took some secret pointers from the king 
taeyong is shook at his rap buddy’s singleminded grit to just spontaneously ask you
while baekhyun...
is keeping it together repeating the anti-jealousy mantra you gave him in his mind
“jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer....“
it makes him realize oh god he really wants to be inside of you badly as well
you ain’t dumb, you see his change of tone from cute to sexy in the group chat even if he might not notice
baekhyun is trying extra hard to make you react to him
he posts so many cute selfies with kissy faces
needless to say taeyong’s time slot gets postponed to next thursday while you visit baekhyun this evening
it works for taeyong because he still needs to think some things through
the news overwhelmed him a little and he is shy about meeting up but that’s not a problem for you
and it’s better to get together with your mochi sooner because you both know there’s a lot of banging to do
like seriously
your mood tells you that candy’s on the menu today
oh yeah. it’s time to be all over your clingy lil’ honey bunny 
there’s not much endless wooing involved it goes to the point very fast after you arrive at his home
you just wanna stop pretending and fuck like animals and see his brain melt from it
remember how baekhyun once said he doesn’t fancy nice girls
that’s what he meant by that
mattress earthquake
he wants you fully riled up with arousal and addicted to touching and grabbing him
yeah baekhyun gets off on your desire
that’s not hard to accomplish when he makes big puppy eyes and puts his tongue on your neck
with that gomez addams shit... kissing up your arm and then popping off as soon as he gets there
congrats morticia
here is a man who can handle ya
he’s being so slobbery and moany about it that it knocks the breath out of you 
that shit is so good
baekhyun is not just a pro at giving head my friend it’s also giving neck
and unlike mark, may god have mercy on you, baekhyun keeps on going and going and kissing and kissing and he wants to lick up all of you so bad 
we know how needy and stamina-heavy this fella is
baekhyun is super m’s most insatiable member by fucking far
he’s like just give it to me and you’re like ok here we go
this guy is burning up oh god
that’s an evening of ten thousand positions, fearless cumplay, and a lot of face-sitting
super m’s most unleashed tongue right here
thank god you worked on your fitness with xuxi otherwise you couldn’t do this
he’s moaning in some harmonic scales or something it’s a whole concert
baekhyun is fully at it with you in every room of his flat with his whole neck and underarms looking mighty veiny
yeah he even carries you around to make it short and simple he’s one impatient bun
he can lift up sehun bridal style so no worries
mochi is smol and thin but he won’t drop you i promise
he’s fueled by horny boyfriend hormones and wants to give you the greatest night of all nights
and hit all the amazing spots
baekhyun aims to make your pussy lips throb and fall completely in love with him
and the bridge of his nose if you get what i’m saying
he’s also versatile in his clothing choices
if you say keep your nerdy glasses on, oh yeah they stay on
just a little challenge to see if you can ride him hard enough to see them fall off
and that dick is not some extra long lasso mark lee calibre
so he can really bend it more and thrust with ease at many angles
talking about mark
he regrets not asking you earlier but you tell baekhyun that this way was much better because you unceremoniously skipped to the fucking instead of messing around
if it wasn’t for mark’s courage to break the ice even with a choppy sentence 
you’d still be awkwardly looking each other in the eyes while munching pizza
all hail mark lee nervous legend
this way, baekhyun goes all out with fewer restraint and the burden of being first with making the impression that comes with it
we all know he’s too self-conscious for his own mochi good so that’s a better way to start out
this way baekhyun will have sex with you until he’s passed out on his bed
knocking him out like that might as well become your favorite hobby
even minutes after your tongue still feels like it’s knotted together with his honestly, the muscle memory is kicking in
and this must be the most dick thrusts you’ve ever gotten in one night
baekhyun really wants to be all inside you, make you feel him
if the condom broke at least his baby will be easy to identify from day one
it’ll come out and belt a perfect G#5
he gave it all my god you stopped counting the times you came your pussy is just dripping wet it feels crazy
and his voice has become all raspy i—
that was baekhyun’s hardest vocal run yet i swear
the contraception shelf in the convenience store next to his house is close to empty
but there’s no need to buy more
what you two perverts have been up to is enough for comfortably going through 10 years of celibacy
baekhyun is content and sleeps like a baby
you hold your bun for like two hours afterwards and never want to let him go
you are as wobbly as taeyong after getting a head pat from you
and the most well-kissed girl in this city tonight
both sets of lips
what a smoochy boyfriend
you even get the chance to jerk baekhyun off in his half-sleep after he wakes up and asks you to put your hand in his pants
guess who opens his mouth very wide to lick his own semen off your fingers with some really obscene noises
it’s his royal nastiness byun baekhyun 
who sucks your tiddies to drift back into sleep again
with his hands in your pants
god bless this man
the group chat is sending 👀 emojis all the way throughout the night
your boys know love is in the air
they’re loosening up the timing is right again
you send cute smiling emojis 
a bunch of “ahs” and “ohs” come through via voicemail
and lucas even writes: “so who’s next? 😳”
damn
you reply boldly: “the one asking that”
the group chat becomes a buzzing beehive again
from which you extract that kai is also very interested while ten, taeyong and taemin prefer waiting a little more
but this time you don’t switch time slots since you’ll meet xuxi on monday already 
kai wants to set up something nice and prepare the catering and whatnot (alright you rich man)
so it’s gonna be wednesday as usual with him
so far so good that’s the plan
sunday being taemin day, you get together to read and paint and listen to music
you feel like just doing some sensual kissing with him and taemin is very down
yeah baby he is the kissing king, taemin is hot stuff, he knows exactly what he’s doing, those lips are the pillows at the gates of heaven
losing your mind is a staple when you do that with him
just making out on the couch surrounded by the nicest arrangement of pot plants you’ve ever seen while it rains completely relaxes you and the serotonin is off the charts
he holds you so gently and tastes so good
what is it, rose water or something like that
he even put on his coziest sweater so you’ll love leaning against him
TL;DR taemin is the biggest fucking romantic in the history of SM
that was so seductive you’ll be dreaming about it
applause for lee taemin please
perfect contrasting programme: just hours later
yeah here it goes now
monday starts with xuxi stripping more than he usually does 
at the makeshift gym in his room while he’s on the treadmill
with his hair freshly dyed the most himbo shade of blonde ever
and yeah that’s blonde with an e because yukhei is too sexy to be called a blond. what an ugly word to look at
he’s a blondé
so that’s nice
he’s so dtf you just skip the workout 
time for lubed condoms.
i don’t have to tell you that you literally jump on him 
or that you’ll be dealing with super m’s singlemost biggest equipment
he doesn’t even have to drive it home an inch by himself you’re already riding him
he can’t handle all that gear in the first place
because how do you even develop a technique with such an unrealistic dick
hell how do you even exist like that
so it’s clear who’s taking the lead
all he has to do is work that body but it sort of happens on its own
himbo autopilot
you are going hard and chaotic on this man
xuxi doesn’t even know what hit him
he’s so vocal and excited 
you fuck him while he holds you up, get down on several gym benches, have him bend you forward at the bathroom sink... 
...and you attend business in ten’s room on a desk and window sill
because it’s the most silent there and doesn’t disturb xiaojun’s beauty sleep
ten has discreetly ushered you there and preoccupies himself in the kitchen with the cats
he knows how the game is played
either floor ‘em all or always watch out for others
MVP
but you are secretly wondering what ten is plotting because he has some serious self-control and observation skills
given how tidy his room is... whatever his plans are you can look forward to it
xuxi is definitely suffering from your heavy duty cock destruction in the meantime while being in heaven at the same time
that dick is worn out and dripping 
so much bouncing is even gonna make the biggest boy lose it
milking that orgasm out of him is gonna be so gratifying yum
the deep and defeated moans, my god he really surrenders to the pleasure
wow that was almost as to-the-point as studio sex with mark
no idle talk in nct huh
you clean each other all exhausted and then gobble up three bowls of noodles each
then sleep for two hours in each other’s arms
then do a second round because this guy is really getting you going and yukhei wants to live this monday to the fullest
like this man gives you previously unknown levels of energy
must be the blonde hair. it does sexy things when yukhei is twitching
this time it’s a dick blowing festival
oh yeah
the type where you’re so sloppy with your head bops, he doesn’t even know where to put his hands and needs to think emergency thoughts
oh yeah big dicks make for some nice slurpy noises that sound really plump you know what i mean
he’s gonna realize very soon you do this shit for your own entertainment
and get all kinds of squeaks and faces out of him
only little pauses help him keep up the stamina so he asks you to pull off for a bit every two minutes or so
he has to look elsewhere and distract his mind with thinking about washing the dishes
girl... your tongue has this man sweating major bullets
you’re big on the corruption kink are you
once again 
xuxi is gonna be so shaken and pass the fuck out from cumming
and he thought he was a horny guy
his soul must have left his body and that scalp is probably dead
but bleaching was worth it (he looks like a sleeping angel now)
not to mention banging all over the wayv dorm
ten got a preview of what’s expecting him
not that he doesn’t know he reads you well
lucas promises to return the oral favor next monday and finally collapses entirely in the living room wearing only boxers
nothing new for wayv, great sight for you
not a single workout routine has exhausted xuxi this much
he needs 10 hours of sleep to reboot
“she’s so wild 😲😂😍” is gonna be what he’ll summarize it as in the group chat later
first big boy taken down
the second one follows
wednesday is right around the corner 
oh yes
kai definitely goes off with the preparation you are not ready for this spectacle
he redecorated his entire kitchen and bathroom to perfection with flowers, lanterns, dim light, petals, expensive fabrics draped from the ceiling, and there’s a great view on night time seoul
you can tell he’s best friends with taemin
i mean they’re the greatest entertainers of their time of course their taste is great
always going the extra mile
the black, sheer shirt with a deep cleavage that kai put on is nothing short of a treat
is that a lace choker he’s wearing
and his hair is pushed back lord have mercy
you get pretty weak in the knees at that
the catering leaves nothing to be desired either. a full 3-course sicily-style italian meal with 100% organic ingredients and beautiful basil and thyme garnishings
to set the mood afterwards jongin does what he does best
don’t tell me you didn’t see this one coming
just a chair for you, some music, and him
is this like a whole damn private concert?
he has prepared an entire setlist to thrill you with selected styles of dance
even a rendition of salsa, swing, and tango argentino
i’m telling you...
if kim jongin moves his body for you like that you’ll be fucking hooked and honored and not believe your eyes
what a feast
prepare for a serious case of dropped jaw
and jongin being an absolute daredevil dancing incrementally close to your chair
he incorporates all these little moments of skinship
where he strokes your hair, your jaw, or takes your hands
while at the same time he’s completely destroying it on the dancefloor
with those scorching hips and how he works it on the carpet right in front of you
you’re about to fucking melt
what a time to be alive
the sheer shirt’s buttons are holding onto dear life as do his pants
kai’s movements are becoming extremely ecstatic
what a fucking lapdance 2.0
men have clearly evolved otherwise this wouldn’t be happening
kai dances like a king on a stage but jongin? is god-like when he dances with just one person as the audience
shiit
and because he’s very nervous
he work particularly hard to ace it
in his mind he’s already underneath you judging by how he’s moving
...you can definitely fancy a luscious private concert each wednesday
and for designated activities in the bathroom
he even made a whole 5-hour playlist of the finest songs
so he can make you grind on top of him
don’t tell me kai isn’t the master of courting
king of effort
i don’t have to tell you that this is gonna be the most sensual night you’ve ever had
kai will get to know your body very, very well
those hips never stop do they
the fact that thursday is baekhyun day right after this?
wow aren’t you exhausted
the orgasms just seamlessly continue huh
everything goes on like that 
friday you have a toy-filled, passionate evening at the studio with mark who’s doing the most 
let’s say mark just has good ‘vibes’ indeed
this almost gets as messy as your first time with lucas
have fun cleaning up that couch, canada
what a sex marathon
if you don’t have your period
there’s always a lot of action going on 
or actually. you do catch a break for the weekend
saturday you bake delicious, pistacio and pecan-crusted sticky buns with taeyong 
who also shows you the new fledgelings that have hatched in his apartment
so adorable
sunday you endlessly make out with taemin in the sheets who has of course heard of jongin putting on a show
so he dances for you as well and even does the hands-tied criminal choreo in an especially luscious rendition (aka extra heavy breathing and grinding on the floor, and doing splits that almost rip his pants)
oh yes my love
nothing really happens afterwards you just have dinner completely flustered
if lee taemin dances, sex becomes redundant and doesn’t compare anymore
but really now
the slow burn is unbearable with him for fuck’s sake
taemin knows how to work up the seduction bit by bit
you basically masturbate all evening after returning to your house
god. what to do with this guy
on monday you ravage yukhei’s dick and get all that head 
xuxi is a chaotic fella but he keeps his promises
plus you get the best full-body massage of your life
and for the first time pull out your phone to basically livestream yourself riding him
so the whole chat can watch for five minutes
yep. you learned that courage thing from mark lee
the camera work is obviously subpar but the video definitely has maximum effect
kai and baekhyun stream their reaction right alongside your broadcast
“woah woah oh my god oh my god!!”
everyone’s freaking out, everyone stops whatever they’re doing, everyone is glued to their screens, they love your body moving
you’re having a blast 
especially when you stream another round an hour later and lucas holds the camera now
his arm is perfect for that by the way
strong and stable and high up in the air
so you can do your thing on that fat dick with a bonus of the sexiest xuxi moans ever
that deep but soft tone... yukhei really got a perfect groaning voice huh
after getting steamy for almost ten minutes, you get some great close-ups of your pussy after having yukhei pull out mid-romp
because that gape is for the gods
don’t kid yourself with a dick like that inside you’ll be opening a little wider
it looks and feels even better with lucas tracing his long fingers inside of it
with the closeup zooming in even more while he’s putting his thumb on your clit 
mmh that’s good stuff
six very shaky boys are sitting in front of their phones right now being able to look um very deeply inside of you
baekhyun is basically frozen to a statue on the reaction stream and salivates nonstop it’s just running down his neck at this point
his wettest dreams are right in front of him
stretched out pussy all juicy and swollen? baekhyun’s lifeblood. he’s seeing god 
he turns up the brightness of his phone to maximum so he can see every little detail 
remember. this guy loves to be inside of you so obsessively he wants to pay rent to live in there
so he’s appreciating an HD view of his favorite place, really deep and really pulsing and really soaked
yukhei has slathered you in lube and really pushed apart your muscles very gently, no abrasion, you relaxed so nicely around him
it’s feeling good as fuck
kai who’s watching right next to baekhyun just stares with big eyes
every injury he ever got while dancing is suddenly healed 
he’s a new man his spine has put itself together his legs are reborn
taeyong almost falls off his chair when he tunes in
he’s that bewildered
he just types a big WOW and a wall of blushing emojis
the explicit songs he’s been listening to and whatever he’s been rapping about recently are nothing in comparison to this
finally someone climbed up to taeyong’s level of nastiness
and he thought he’d never find someone on eye level
secretly he loves the nice view but he won’t admit how much
meanwhile he will rewatch this over and over for the whole week at least five times a day
and then there’s taemin
| adorable 😊🤗🎀 6v6
| can you put the camera a bit closer again 👉👈
| and turn on the flash if that’s ok 😳
| ah thank you 💟
i don’t know what taemin has seen or heard or experienced in his life and what made him this way but damn he loves that graphic shit
turning on the flash makes even yukhei’s jaw drop and rub your clit even faster
he’s damn proud he could make your pussy open up to him this way as he should be 
cuz he’s really been improving his Big Cock Techniques (BCT)
mark doesn’t write anything but he’s online and streaming so yeah he’s jerking off
with two hands
baekhyun is typing how much he loves the wet sounds and how great the fingering action is
and he’s damn right. telepathy 
that’s your favorite pervert right there yeehaw
in the meantime yukhei’s brain is empty he’s just smiling bright and enjoying the moment and the attention and your body
ten is basically next door because this is the fucking wayv dorm 
you can hear him choke on his coffee and whisper ‘oh my fucking god, oh shit’ to himself
the phone almost topples into the sheets while lucas is putting all those rubs and circles into your clit but the audio is already telling the boys to watch very closely anyway because here it comes
taeyong is probably falling apart by now given how he’s posting a couple fragmented sentences that you try to decipher on yukhei’s phone
until you get close and take up filming yourself again 
so yukhei can make a video with his own phone as well
yep that’s two cameras on you by now not just one
xuxi’s been such a steadfast babe 
and he gets to see the fruits of his work. for one, just how much of an imprint he left with his cock inside you 
and second how hard he can make you cum now
those big fingers are magic on you
taemin gets all the closeups he ever needed from your camera because you hit the zoom even more
yukhei starts kissing you twice
not as carefully as he often would
it’s the really wet and passionate version this time
he films your lower faces as good as he can
those big fucking lips 
they never fail to make you get the hots
they’re really made to do all this are they
his tongue nips into you with extra saliva on board
you suck it into your own mouth and mix it with yours, and gather some more
and slip your tongue above his in return
yukhei makes sure you can hear him swallowing all that warm runny spit and moans into your mouth
guess who just blew one big juicy load into the condom
and he’s not even inside of you
jesus christ yukhei
looks like french kissing is his orgasm button 
you start sucking on his tongue when it slides back between your lips and you make them really tight and puckering
the noise is so delicious
yukhei shoots the rest of his semen into the condom
you go even harder on him, the kiss gets really deep
kai and baekhyun are literally jumping up and down on their beds by now
taemin and mark are sending star-eyed emojis
ten is definitely beating the meat next door
yukhei’s hand is massaging incessantly between your legs
he makes you feel. so. good.
when he retreats from the kiss you’re ready
you can hardly keep the phone stable in your palm
yukhei also points his camera back at your pussy again
and makes sure to catch every contraction
you know an orgasm is good when you’re going all “oh... ohh...”
even taeyong goes online to stream his reaction because you cum so beautifully
he’s actually crying and can’t close his mouth he can’t believe what he’s seeing
your pussy lips are so sloppy and stretched apart and twitching and you make sure the camera catches every bit
it takes almost half a minute until your muscles calm
you tell yukhei to clean it up with those plump lips of his
baekhyun and taemin are violently agreeing with thousands of “YESS EAT UP!!!” and “yes!! 😊♥︎🌹” text bubbles in the chat
your guys are so cute do you realize that
in order to have both hands free, lucas ends his video, puts his phone aside, and is already licking you up like a whole bowl of whipped cream
you keep on streaming on your own phone and brush the hair out of his face
the best part is catching yukhei’s tongue winding between your lips and then spoiling your pussy with big kisses very very slowly as not to overstimulate you
he’s such a fast learner he’s doing it really well
once you’re satisfied and cool off, you stroke the back of his neck and his favorite boyfriend duties are officially on pause
so he can go to pull off the condom and clean himself up, and get ready for bed after a quick mini snack
while you blow kisses into the camera, flirt with all your babes while they flirt back and even bow to you
and film your pussy all swollen and licked up but slowly closing a little bit again, ever so slightly
ten sends two little black hearts and a little “that was the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen thank you 😽”
you make sure taemin gets an extra close view of your clit and taeyong is making high-pitched squealing noises in his reaction video stream
mark goes like “yea that’s the spot!”
kai has joined baekhyun with the mouth and saliva action, they’re both licking their lips all over the place and make lewd lusty faces
they’re literally sucking and eyefucking your pussy through the camera bitch they want it so goddamn bad
oh to have their mouths on you right now to come down from your high and chill
you tell everyone how much you miss them and how badly you want them to be here
and how you want to feel all of them all over, on your skin and inside you
the chat is full of yearning and horny crying emojis now
yukhei helps you clean up the rest while you text how it felt with mark and baekhyun because they wanna know more
you talk about how yukhei’s girth is always rubbing that one spot inside and his breathing changes when it does
and you say you really loved their reactions
the members promise to be careful and discrete when they re-watch the stream and ten also says that if you don’t want it to stay in the chat some day you should never hesitate to delete it
you say no problem boys you should know me inside out, just remember to use head-phones when yukhei starts slurping at the 01:27 min mark
taeyong and mark are losing it at your puns
then you have a glass of water taller than yukhei’s dick and basically dance to the bathroom
lucas talks to the boys with his big ole smile in his pyjamas while you’re busy
oh god he is so shy
but very very blissed out. it really takes only two things to make this man happy. big plates, twitchy pussy.
a truly simple man. you like that
kai is definitely evolving from his teasing yukhei agenda in the meantime
he is sending thumbs up emojis instead of raised eyebrow ones
you lay down in xuxi’s big embrace and say goodnight to your boys
yukhei buries his nose in your hair, and kisses you on the forehead so innocently, taeyong melts in his little video square on screen
taemin is a big fan as well
he’s living true to his “explicit shit and romance” life motto isn’t he
you ask if everyone was enjoying themselves
big positive reactions all over the chat
you coo how you adore them all so much and want more of things like this where everyone is involved
eight people are going to bed very happy today
yukhei waves and baekhyun goes offline as well, as does taeyong who’s beaming
end stream
it was a masterpiece
that mark needs to recover from the very most, his entire bed is full of used tissues
and basically
over the next few hours the chat is losing their minds over and over again
everyone can’t stop gushing and telling you what their favorite part was
kai says how turned on you were was making him hard all night
ten enjoyed the wild kissing part and how wet everything was
naughty boy taemin keeps on talking about how — i quote — your insides are the best ever!! while sending flower emojis
your stream has unleashed a gigaton of sexual energy
and that basically goes on and on
until tuesday arrives
oof 
today’s the day
you know that ten is up to something 
except the little hearts and kiss comment
he hasn’t written much in the chat
oh shit oh shit what is he planning
he truly is a pisces
you know that some epic stuff is about to go down since the cats are with yangyang 
and — what
there’s a large canvas in his room with a piece of cloth to cover it
lord have mercy
he’s bringing the big guns
ten will even hold a little speech on how he got inspiration two weeks ago
only to proceed to unveil the art very shyly
it’s an elaborate pencil drawing standing about as tall as him
immaculately sketched in a realistic way
have a guess what he’s been drawing
exactly right it’s an erotic depiction of you
laying on your back, thighs spread, head thrown back
and to make it mysterious you see more of the legs rather than the crotch area
so whatever or who is giving you pleasure is entirely up to you to imagine to your liking
it’s more about how the person he drew feels lust rather than the onlooker. he drew this for your own enjoyment
he did that very cleverly and classily 
this canvas will be your utmost treasure and get such an intimate spot in your home
it doesn’t take very long until you’re mounting him and get those hips moving in a circle
ten is just full of surprises
you ask if you can photograph the drawing and upload it to the chat
ten is like ohhh!
but why not, now that he thinks about it. he secretly likes praise and visibility for his drawings so much
the post is definitely a success 
lots of exclamation marks and reaction memes for three hours straight
but who would’ve thought otherwise
ten is just massively talented, always on point
and hits the right nerve with his line of work
as your pussy can attest
yukhei is gonna tease in the chat that he heard you in the dorm and that it sounded mega hot wink wink wink
ten writes:
| my tongue hurts 
| let’s do it again next week
| i feel inspired to draw more as well
the chat explodes with hype for another two hours
multiple members come up with their own artistic takes on you
on wednesday kai presents a feral dance he choreographed for the whole morning. showing a representation of what you are to him and what he feels for you
very beautiful
on thursday baekhyun gifts you a deliberately humorous doodle titled mochi mama in the style of i dunno, probably picasso on crack
you have not seen anything like it
it’s gonna make you laugh in sad hours for many days to come
talk about come
baekhyun will have his hands busy in and on you all night
he wants to feel mama mochi and please you and make you smile
try not to climax challenge: failed several times
on friday mark blasts a song he wrote about you as soon as you put your hand bag down in the studio
100% of the lyrics are about how sexy and charming and special you are to him and how infatuated he is and how much he thinks about you all the time and how much you knock him off his feet, and how he has the biggest hots for you, jesus christ
that mark lee canada flow wants to make you fucking nut right then and there
the fandom just got his lit mixtape and he’s already working on another one i guess he sure has enough nsfw inspiration for it
all the more reasons to cum hard on his dick tonight
and make sweet love to that sexy body because mark lee isn’t the only one with the hots
then comes saturday
taeyong day
the tension is rising
you’re at his place
the sweet boo comes to put some chirping fledgelings into a towel on your lap as usual
there’s a big crispy lasagna baking in the oven, dripping with cheese and sauce with the most full-bodied herbal mix ever
damn tasty 
gordon ramsay would rate this particularly well on twitter
honestly man
we all know gordon ramsey would like taeyong’s dishes
the evening passes as it always does
so he didn’t jump on the bandwagon that’s interesting
it’s almost as if the stream didn’t happen or anything
just as you expected
taeyong doing his own thing and being just very consistent makes him so sexy and desirable to you it’s hard to explain
you just like his style of going about things you know
he’s very receptive to your impulses
you figure it’s up to you to make some steps
so when he opens the fridge to pull out a self-made, perfectly swirly vanilla-chocolate vortex pudding that’s just at the right temperature, you can’t help but hit on him like the world is ending 
but as you learned from taeyong’s example: your way
you ask him to open his mouth and maneuver spoon after spoon of pudding into it for him to deliciously savor it
giving him compliments on always making your day along with that
that bowl is empty very fast my loves
and taeyong very happy
oh yeah he was enjoying that
with his eyes closed
oh fuck
the sexual tension could rip the air in half like a mark verse
you decide to sit down on his lap all nonchalant and finish your own pudding... more than suggestively
taeyong is basically holding his breath at this point he’s a puddle
you tell him he can put his hands on your waist if he wants to
no answer needed his fingers are already on their way
you can hear how his heart is approaching a techno music BPM
at this point all you can do anymore is lean in to whisper if he likes to go to the bedroom with you
he can keep the apron on
taeyong tastes deliciously of pudding aye
you roll around in the sheets kissing so heavily
this is pure indulging you just feel how you’re sleeping with a chef
who happens to have the veiniest dick of all time
you’re definitely filled up well
sliding up and down on him deliciously for twenty minutes
really slowly and hugging each other tightly
and saying romantic things
that’s the good life
by the end of the evening the group chat gets a picture of taeyong’s world class lasagna 
and a ‘very random’ shaky picture of your hand in his hair
which baekhyun instantly comments as:
“now tyong knows how great you taste as well 🤓😁🤗“
yukhei agrees wholeheartedly and ten starts making baby don’t stop puns
kai is totally in love with the quality food 
baekhyun voices his interest in making more pictures of that kind with you. you know, hand in the hair, no big deal
kai says hurry up with it hyung, all the hair dye makes you balder every minute
baekhyun reprises his doodling and now draws a couple
it’s mama mochi with byun baldhyun
“this will be the next selca“
glorious
you’re having a damn good time
but later you feel something is going on
the whole week passes and taeyong seems to be brooding
next saturday he has a hard time expressing himself when he comes to your home 
you ask if he’s not comfortable having more sex or if he struggles with the relationship setup
taeyong says it’s not that but can’t explain any further
you go on a whim and ask if it’s a confession he has on his mind
bingo
“taeyong... if you think i’ll judge you for something. remember we’re only doing this since a couple weeks. it’s hard to know how the person really reacts if you don’t know each other inside out“
he is still hesitant
you ask him if it’s something taboo
“yeah...”
you thought so. taeyong is the least basic person you know along with taemin
guess why these two are saved for last my dear readers
you tell him that how he’s in his own lane is what you appreciate him for in the first place, it’s why you’re here with him, you love your duckling chef so much
if he wants a different kind of sex that’s perfectly him
he looks relieved and understood hearing that
and confesses that yeah... he wants to go a little kinkier with you
now you know why taeyong was acting with so much restraint
and put all of his feelings and sensuality into food pretty much
in fact the kinky sex has already started whether you noticed or not
indirectly. as in, the dynamic
truth is he wants to be a service sub
oh yeah lemme introduce you to some new things
service subs like to really cater to their dominants and fulfill their every wish not just in bed, but around the house as well
and there’s even more to it as you will soon discover talking to him about it
an apron is only the start
in case you have been living under a rock
taeyong’s duality is nuts 
he’s a completely shy mega pervert
it’s not a secret that this guy wants hardcore bdsm torture sex
you letting all that aggression loose on him for fucking sport
and being cold to him
with a bit of soft domme action as the perfect balance 
yep 
he wants you to take him out and take care of him at the same time
he’s perfectly aware he’s among the freakier and more deprived members
even ten is just casually freaky and just open for a lot of things. taeyong is deliberate
and pretty deep in the femdom community as far as his browser history is concerned
we all know assertive partners are his thing
but he’s afraid he’ll get you into something that’s a lot of responsibility
you say mister i’m familiar with your interests 
my dear you never made them hard to guess
you tell him it’s no problem for you to give it to him raw
you’ll be doing disgusting things to him that sexy face will straight up drown 
did you know?
our dear boy taeyong loves it when you spit in his mouth and do virgin roleplay
if he asks you to break him don’t be surprised
he wants to release control completely
he goes by all the rules
and i guarantee. when he comes along your dominatrix mood is gonna skyrocket he just brings that shit out in people
his mere naked body is just... how not to go nuts on him how he wants it
long story short tied up taeyong head to toe ends up immortalized as a vertical photograph
the group chat is overwhelming your notifs with wide-eyed emojis and all caps
amping up the game a little more each day are we
without even trying. hell, this just happened
where this is going is gonna be fun
sunday goes down with you grinding yourself all over taemin but you’re both clothed
you grab the back of his neck to lean in for kisses over and over and over
yes kisses are key
if not the favorite thing he does
let this sink in. if taemin overwhelms a little kitty with a hundred thousand smooches, just how kissy is this guy gonna be 
and have fun teasing his erection through his pants
lee taemin a squirmy mess? hell yeah
in classic fashion he will spend the most time of the evening on his knees getting slapped around in several blindfolds, harnesses, and wrist ties
his fantasy finally came true
i repeat what taemin has been dreaming of is reality
thank god for taeyong having you second guess his private tastes. otherwise you would not be on your dom grind now
taemin even goes as far as ordering lingerie for your encounters — to wear himself because he’s taemin
satin and silk blouses he already has in his wardrobe so there’s no shortage
i don’t have to tell you that you can spend hours grinding on his cock in a room full of candles while taemin is in head-to-toe bondage
that’s his idea of a good time and hell you are really treated to perfect eye candy, taemin’s hotness will bring your pleasure to a new level
the group chat will definitely love your photography taken from your sessions
taemin is just an utter no-compromise kinda man to make kinky love with. everything is planned he’s never settling for less than a perfect evening
where both of you really experience the ultimate satisfaction from treating your bodies to the best of clothes and toys and scenarios
give me an amen for taemin being your sunday guy because this legend of a man is your personal church
and his discography is the bible
and cum play is the baptizing my friend
so yeah huh
every day you can look forward to. monday to sunday
and not a day goes by without someone in the chat reminiscing the steamy video you did with lucas
you end up repeating what you wished that day
for everyone to be with you
so you could feel all of them 
and you say maybe it’s time to arrange something 
you’ve gotten to know each of them personally and intimately by now
and integrated them into your personal life
hell when you wake up the first thing you see is ten’s drawing across your bed
or baekhyun’s funny mama mochi art on your phone background
and you start your day literally selecting from a pile of taeyong’s freshly washed and ironed clothing stacks in your wardrobe
sitting at your breakfast table with a bouquet of flowers that kai and jongin brought you
eating food you bought together with lucas
listening to music that mark made especially for you
they’re all in your life together so it’s the right time to make some heated love together
the chat is all down you don’t even have to ask any further
baekhyun volunteers to go about his leader duty to organize the best possible venue and best possible date
cause with superm things do go 100
he asks what kind of atmosphere you have in mind
you say hard and nasty and kinky
which will definitely make the chat interested
and baekhyun was about to rent a huge modern art penthouse in gangnam
you say no need to go that expensive. you just need a large bed, no paparazzi, and an area where you can be loud. sculptures you could care less about
you have yukhei on your team, so that’s a living sculpture already 
it needs a safe haven essentially, with a dark and lusty atmosphere would be so nice
ten steps in saying he has the exact spot you’re looking for 
he has a friend who runs a declining night club in the suburbs, with some pretty attractive and grungy backrooms with plenty of space to fuck
yeah a club is exactly what you’re looking for that’s a good idea
it’s closed on monday so baekhyun and ten arrange a rental just then
of course way in the evening
with the guarantee of nobody else around
baekhyun knows how this rigged game rolls he says they need the club to perform a dance practice, overnight stay, and shooting a music video
which is only a half-lie
not “hey we are super m planning an orgy wanna invite dispatch and tell lee soo man”
regardless ten’s friend is pretty chill and indifferent anyways
and baekhyun’s money is doing the talk
you’ll be guaranteed to be left by yourself
monday evening it is. 
you already have a whole bunch of fantasies to let loose on your boys
and put it all in the chat
yo it’s called brainstorming and it sure has brain in it
you discuss
and it goes down next week 
you encouraged the members to wear what they feel best in, no dress code, no comparison thinking. you want to meet them like you got to know them, each in their favorite expression
taeyong dons a mass onslaught of fetish gear underneath a trench coat, including a fancy collar, lots of hairspray
and latex gloves. shit he’s a freak
baekhyun puts on the coziest clothes he finds and his smol sneakers but they are secretly expensive, his hair is curly and big, he put on a nice scent
kai can’t help but go black suit and lace underneath, you know him
bleach blonde yukhei gets out the tight white tee and smug jeans
creative genius ten goes all out designing his own fashion (!) with paint, he puts on sexy af glasses and goes for his signature ‘cleavage down to the belly’ look underneath a bomber jacket
mark goes for a casual suit but make it swag, with a sleeveless top underneath, yeah those mark arms go crazy 
taemin — picks his most dazzling silver outfit that looks like a rendition of mermaid scales, pointed shoes, princely hair, famous i’m so fabulous
and it’s already starting out sexy in the car before you even arrive 
because this is all gonna be glorious from the first second to the last
baekhyun and kai will do the driving
you have not one but two classy and sexy chauffeurs you hear me
yeah in their shiny black german cars with those sleek comfortable seats
baekhyun, taeyong, ten and lucas are a team
and then you get kai, mark, and taemin, including your group luggage because such a trip needs a lot of things to pack trust me
you’re with team kai on the way to the club and with team baekhyun the way back 
it’s already lit and steamy on your way there
nothing better than getting in the mood held by the greek god arms of none other than lee taemin with mark lee assisting
you’re entirely wrapped up in kissing taemin so passionately, his tongue melts into your mouth like the finest chocolate
thinking about how you were making out last week gets you going even more
as does feeling up his bulge, ugh taemin is so sensual
mark sitting on your other side being eager to attend to your thighs, your waist, your back, your hands, your hair, your stomach
yep
yukhei has been telling him about the wonders of a whole-body massage since you like it so much
mark gets his hands all over you to provide a sexy caress and wow he’s doing it well, giving everything the perfect kind of attention, always asking if you want more of this or more of that
mark loves everything about you and he knows how to make your anticipation become even more intense by dedicating time to all areas generously
you feel like he’s worshipping you head to toe
it’s the way to get turned on
mark has great soft hands and knows your best spots by now
that’s exactly why it was a good idea to sleep with the members individually at first
you could figure it all out in detail and each member could show their style of doing things, and you could teach them
mark has become an expert in skinship
while he’s kissing into your neck whispering revering things to you nobody else would understand
they’re intimate, spicy details from your studio lessons
with a romantic twist even because mark is giving you his entire arsenal, the entire palette
“i’ve been thinking about you so often...”
with jongin driving carefully and taking the lesser frequented roads 
kai is really keeping it together
the maknae backseat party is faithfully photographed by mark who sends it to the other team after taemin and you select the best shots, giggling
your favorite is a bird’s view of your cleavage with taemin kissing right between your breasts, slightly below the sternum
his hair is softly splayed over the area
taeyong and ten reply with heart eyes in the chat
on you go kissing and touching
taemin is so gentle with you and easily accepts your wild licks and bites, leans his head back so you have perfect access to his neck
by the time you arrive at the club’s back entrance, he’s marked up and his lips are mighty used
ruined neck, ruined mouth
taemin’s favorite two accessories to walk into a club with 
including a hard-on
with mark and kai strutting right after, chewing mints
...both getting hard themselves because mark loves your body and jongin has very good ears when it comes to picking up things that happen in the back of his car
and this bitch got a raging libido, so
the best part is everything is prepared
the other team already parked their car there earlier
ten had the keys to every needed lock, showed everyone around, and then baekhyun went into organization overdrive
this is the first time he didn’t clown around to distract from work since debut
if baekhyun ever means serious business... wow
your best boy taeyong has located the perfect backroom that’s shaded inside and neon-lit from the outside
the window’s aren’t particularly low-sitting so that’s a privacy plus
there’s a huge white extra oversized bed with some more great furniture and a sofa landscape
he desinfected everything to a T
and pulled out every utensil you might need from a large black bag
he walked in like he just commited a bank robbery but in reality there’s cutesy pink rope in the bag
oh well
classic taeyong
yukhei sorted and handed out the condoms plus water bottles for everyone
he’s the expert for the basics don’t come at him he’s doing a great job
after you reminding everyone of the safeword 
taemin sits down with you on the bed and you keep kissing
keeping up the flow right there
//
you beckon your lil’ adorable mochi who’s been dying for skinship
baekhyun is so turned on he wastes no time joining
still fully clothed while the other members are about to undress
you actually like baekhyun huddling up against you in his oversized hoodie it’s cute
so hey, change in plans
everyone ditches the protocol and climbs on the bed only without their shoes 
lot of ties and belts to pull them closer to you
you bring all of them together on the bed now
the feeling of having everyone around you is so electrifying, you have to distance from taemin’s seductive lips not to get some kind of adrenaline overdose
jesus this guy is trying to soak your pants like baekhyun forgot to turn off the shower
you get to enjoy five minutes of relaxed massaging from all sides to cool everything down a little
baekhyun and yukhei alternate with kissing you
yum
big plush lips plus a horny tongue
that’s a good combination
kai is definitely setting the pace of how to massage you, and how to move the body while doing so, and what expressions to make 
instead of sitting there awkwardly staring into space
remember? master of courting — that’s kim jongin
even baekhyun follows his example a bit
you’re entering cloud 9 from that whole-body massage
you can tell they’re all dancers. there’s rhythm involved
having the seven of them attend to you at the same time just hits different
that are 14 hands
70 fingers
all in sync with kai’s physical ideas, carefully yet purposefully kneading and stroking 
kai also helps everyone find a good area and makes sure everyone stays away from any precarious or sexy zones
because you’d probably get off from that in the matter of a blink
to be honest you’re already feeling heated you can’t help it
but that’s a good sign you’re definitely feeling this 
and there’s not a single limp dick in this room at this point already
baekhyun being the best people reader all over again manages a seamless transition to some water drinking
so everyone is ready to go
you wish you could do everything at once but decide to get a load of some slow body rolls against you because hell yeah
courting expert kai is sure to oblige, dance god taemin joins right in, and ten completes the holy trinity and hell does he go off
photographer mark on duty again. this moment has to be captured
baekhyun does his mood management magic and encourages ten and taemin to let out their little sounds more
kai he doesn’t have to tell
nor you because you’re already moaning
shit these guys are just too good
these bodies are machines
again bless your xuxi workout sessions
you wouldn’t keep up otherwise
you curse them because your pussy feels creamy way too early
switching to grinding on their bulges is not a better idea because it’s making you even hornier but anyway it’s your favorite activity
yukhei takes time and some effort to get fully hard so that’s a grateful job now
because you can gather yourself
you resort to using your cleavage to stop turning yourself on completely
and then your hands to palm his pants because that’s even more inconspicuous
group sex with superm? hardest early orgasm avoidance challenge EVER
is there some kind of legally accessible viagra for women
there’s no way you could turn yourself off help
you either get the first orgasm out of the way or keep it together to have some suspense in here and see the boys work hard
the decision is clear
time to bring out the toys that taeyong assembled on a table
baekhyun, taemin taeyong and ten are in the down to get tied up in various ways
lucas and kai get blindfolded and get a sexy task from you
slowly humping the mattress just for your viewing pleasure
topless for that matter
no need to ask twice there they go
photographer mark stays free and flexible. it’s always good to have someone outside bondage just in case with such a big group
anyway so you will be busy for sure
the rest of the boys strip down to only their briefs and get a good dose of spanking
ten is definitely moaning the loudest there
taeyong ends up with tied wrists in a prayer position and has his fun getting slapped around by you 
until he’s breathless and smiling to himself with his tongue hanging out
someone got his daily meal of smacking
taemin highly approves 
nobody’s surprised
baekhyun gets a quick and simple upper body rope harness that’s very easy to grip him by
and just to tease him you add some nipple pinches
result: loud baekhyun noises
cute as hell
so that’s how he’s been training himself to reach all those high notes
interesting
taemin, completely naked, has his hands and ankles tied, looking so beautiful all helpless and his cock itching for stimulation
and because taemin’s strange ‘artistic’ kidnapping fantasies that he never stops talking about cannot be ignored he gets a mouth gag for good measure
you know you just roll with their ideas
he’s a simple man that’s all he needs
you decide to put a bigger bondage piece on ten who ends up in a hogtie aka his new favorite place to be in
if there’s one guy who’s flexible like that it’s him
let’s see for how long he can take it
ten likes a challenge
you tell mark exactly what kind of pictures you want of your tied darlings and he’s well-engaged with that task
baekhyun is clinging to you a lot in the meantime
he gets kisses on the mouth 
and your open ear 
because you can tell there’s something on his mind
or rather
his ass is telling him something after you activated it with spanks huh
what does baekhyun want?
baekhyun wants the strap
and the strap he shall get
his time has come
this time the safeword won’t do so tapping yukhei’s thigh is the deal
taeyong’s kinky tool collection has a nice and thick equipment to offer, jet black black straps, jet black dildo, like it’s some kind of secret agent gear
it takes a lot of lube to get it into baekhyun’s tight and tiny ass but what’s new 
he’s not the gaping expert 
and way too busy laughing at the members’ reaction faces so his damn asshole is contracting god dammit
what a brat
next time he gets a toy for prep
only when you grab him by the harness and get into a rhythm, baekhyun throws it back
good boy
kai and xuxi are allowed to take off their blindfolds now because you have a task for them
taeyong’s toy collection features one extra long double-ended dildo, transparent and neither too slim nor too wide
if baekhyun doesn’t have that thing inside his throat i don’t know who
this shit is made for him
and you can tell he’s salivating for that
you tell yukhei to use those big hands to keep baekhyun’s head steady
and oh wonder, his long fingers enclose it perfectly
kai gets to go hard on baekhyun and fulfill his lifetime fantasy that he has had for over a decade now and jerks off to every night:
baekhyun not talking
so while baekhyun’s ass is getting properly stuffed
so is his mouth
kai has no qualms squeezing the toy into baekhyun’s throat a little more roughly
those are some pretty intense choking noises
mark steadily hits the snapshot button
some people go to pound town
baekhyun goes to silicon valley
kai is not afraid to push that thing as far as it can physically go
you’re pleased with how he’s doing it
and with baekhyun’s blowjob abilities anyway
is there a better throat in this industry? probably not 
he’s pretty surprised himself with how much he can take it
that poor ass is getting more than it can handle in the meantime, baekhyun is throbbing and whining
little did you know his prostate is so sensitive and makes his dick leak
such a shame you fully exploit that
you tell yukhei to have baekhyun move his head on his own to get into the rhythm
and get taeyong over to suck on the other end of the toy because oh yeah
let me just say these two are amazing
god bless sm entertainment 
not for any executive decisions
but for their uncanny ability to attract and assemble all the subs
lee taeyong giving head like the rent is due is a sight you need in your life
like everything, he does it roughly and properly
baekhyun is barely even sucking anymore just straight up gagging and seeing stars
because uh-oh here comes a big fat prostate orgasm
mark is clever enough to hit record on his phone
and capture a shaking baekhyun travelling through a whole bunch of universes, at least in his mind 
because that’s how strong his climax is
all he can say is thank you mama mochi and recover from this on his back
kai is satisfied with the result as well because baekhyun managed to not say anything for fifteen minutes
kai never had this much silence in his life
taeyong is still not done sucking the toy off and you let him
never step between a man and his favorite dildo
lucas takes up the task of untying ten who wants to share the other end that’s free now
and mark hands over the camera to kai who films just that
which also means mark is in the mood for you
about time to get some dick
and have taemin watch right next to you
being able to delight in mark’s wonderful technique
doggystyle
which ends up in kai joining 
which causes yukhei to join
and baekhyun to film 
the three are literally queueing while waiting for their turn
you tell them when to pull out and let the other member have you
until mark is riddled with so much suspension, the fifth thrust on his turn ends up in an unexpected hard climax
“oh my god oh my god!“
obviously kai will let loose now and cum as well, accompanied by really breathy groans
yukhei takes his time to make you moan which gives both taeyong and taemin a good show and an untouched orgasm
eventually you get to hear lucas growling his soul out
and kai bickering to pull out already
because it’s time for buffet
after getting rid of his condom, mark has been untying the very resilient ten who’s been in prawn bondage for like half an hour and five minutes now
respect
he and baekhyun team up to eat you out
yeah prepare for a dream team
while mark and kai chill on the other side of the bed
lucas on the other hand still doesn’t have enough and ends up licking your legs with his cock firmly palmed in those big hands
baekhyun and ten are doing the most meanwhile, lapping you up all sloppy
the job of the cameraman goes to a wild taemin who’s undone his safety hook 
he can’t stand this shit anymore he has to join the action instead of lying around in ropes
jeez the guy has the fun of his life playing with filters
silently giggling to himself
until kai finds out that taemin has been putting cat ears on ten and cowboy hats on lucas
kai confiscates the phone from naughty taem and decides to take up that task himself
so taemin can eat you out himself now
alright there are three heads bumping each other between your legs now
and yukhei close-by, currently nibbling at your outer thighs
can you imagine how crowded and crammed that is
you tell mark to get taeyong out of his ties as well
if you’re gonna cum he has to join the party as well
and he will not hesitate my friend
taeyong’s kinky tongue (which can make all kinds of completely unprecedented moves and slurping noises) riles up the other three to put all their effort into this
you order baekhyun and ten to line you left and right of your hips, fingering you from there
and let both taeyong and taemin get you to the point with their tongues at the same time
it’s a busy day innit
the reason is that baekhyun and ten didn’t come but you plan to change that with some dual handjob
baekhyun lets out some pretty hoarse panting noises
(yeah jongin destroyed him with that toy in his mouth for real)
once your hands grip onto their erections, almost automatically baekhyun’s fingers start going crazy on your clit and ten goes mad with his thumb right next to it
yeah he’s kept his rings on this is gonna be a sexy sight
mark and kai retire from their pillows to join at your request
mark kissing you, jongin sucking on your breasts
from this point on things are pretty much just a daze
two tongues two hands? oh shit
four people are trying to make you cum what did you expect
and three other people are licking you all over
yukhei doesn’t even care at this point he’s just straight up kissing your feet
ten is silently groaning it out, he’s pouring his seed into the condom with little twitches in the hip and shoulders
taeyong’s tongue is gonna finish you off, taemin’s lips will make you feel so good, your legs will be a shaking mess in yukhei’s hands
how to even describe this
it’s an explosion of heat and contractions
you’re going fucking crazy from all that head and tongue action god damn
mark definitely has to swallow a lot of your moans all over the place
and taeyong
also swallows
what a god-loving man
your pussy is leaking enough to feed baekhyun as well
who still strokes himself off while he’s cleaning you up with his mouth, oh boy he really developed a lot of stamina
you have your fun telling him to stop jerking himself off
so his orgasm ends up being ruined
those always mess him up
always a nice sight to have him shaking and whining and gasping
you have to roll over at some point before getting overstimulated
phew that takes quite a couple of deliberate breaths
now you have seven hot guys with sopping wet mouths on your hands, looking at you exhausted and infatuated
that’s super m for you
yukhei, man for the basics he is, hands out towels
you really gotta say he’s kept a clear head in all of this except maybe the sudden foot fetish reveal
of course taeyong towels himself down the most he’s basically covered himself with anything he could get his hands on
that face is dripping like his saturday evening lasagnas 
you help clean mark who kinda lost his mind and heart while kissing you, he needs your care a little more now
baekhyun soon snaps back into organization mode and has the brilliant idea to unpack xuxi’s and jongin’s luggage
to have everyone wearing their gigantic hoodies and sweaters
it’s warm in the room anyway but this feels so much cozier
after going to the bathroom
a ball of cuddly guys is snuggled up all aroud you faster than you can think
mark and taeyong are already sleeping they really knocked themselves out
champs
kai finds the completely forgotten phone somewhere in the sheets and turns off what seems to be a 50 minutes video
that’s gonna be fun to watch some time
baekhyun nuzzles himself to sleep against your sweater, right between your breasts
“mochi mama thank...” are his last words before he drifts off to pineapple pizza land or whatever dreamscape is in his head
probably something much dirtier but anyway
lucas and kai steal kisses from you and go off to sort out the room
jesus christ they still have the energy
taeyong’s nasty lil’ toy collection gets cleaned and reassembled, the ropes get coiled up, the towels wander into a washing machine in the other room
whose steady bumping lulls the rest of you to sleep
while taemin, epitome of taste he is, plays his best of hits on low volume with his phone
dozing off between seven guys while “heaven” is playing? 
best thing ever
the rest is history. you’re surrounded by sleepy cuddly sweater men
you actually sleep for a couple hours
dawntime you wake up cozied and sandwiched between yukhei’s tiddies and jongin’s back
which is the most protected, snug place on earth
even a nuclear superweapon couldn’t explode past that spot
they’re fast asleep
giant baby and teddy bear
safeguarding you in unison
ain’t they adorable
baekhyun is awake silently doing pilates, smiling cutely at you when he sees you’re awake, and he gets a big load of kisses i’m telling you
miraculously everything is tidy and smells fresh, and there’s a light soup in the air...
... lee taeyong got up at 6:30.
he was a whirlwind
the group gets to enjoy a 3-course classic korean breakfast 
because taeyong found the club kitchen
what kind of godly entity is this man
how did he do all of this
the club is the cleanest it’s ever been
taking care of 24 people is probably so difficult, this is actually easy to him
you depart in a good mood because damn that soup was restaurant quality and baekhyun had the idea to give you morning head to which everyone joined in
good thing the club has showers
baekhyun is still horny as hell and you want that D(elight) any time of the day 
so you fuck for a bunch of minutes in his car after dropping off the team and they giving you playful winks
you park the car behind xiumin’s house because that’s the most calm place to be
people are sleeping on xiumnin so hard, no paparazzi are around, ever
baekhyun settles there with you smiling
he didn’t sing “get you alone” with no reason
baekhyun needs that one-on-one time with you to ground himself and love you all over again big time
plus you are dying to cum bouncing on him on the driver’s seat 
while he is desperately gripping the steering wheel to have something solid to hold onto
yeah baekhyun is always ready to lose it for ya
it’s literally such a good spot to fuck
he’s strapped in all underneath you and you can see him squirm and get heart eyes from up close
you also love how your thighs meet the fabric of his pants
baekhyun’s tiny lap is already worth a huge nut you love grinding on him
those shapely thighs
with his cock peaking out from underneath his sweater
what his morning head tongue can do, his dick can do twice with ease so time for round two today
glad you have your bag with some utensils
you’re generous with lube on the condom
in fact you love spilling it over his pants a little
it looks like you’ve been squirting on him that’s why
baekhyun is down for your pervy imaginations
and gets even harder
not bad lil’ guy
time to make him moan with the grip of your walls
mochi breathes pretty hard because damn... more dick destruction
you love burying your hands in his sweater at the shoulders and just fucking ride
his hair gets messy, his bedroom gaze is so intense
his ass still hurts from yesterday but it seems to turn him own judging by the high-pitched groans and his begs for you to bounce on him harder
no problem his dick is just made to be ridden
if this wasn’t a high-tech car from the future with carbon and whatnot anybody could hear baekhyun’s um ‘vocals’ from the outside
this is so much fun oh my god
baekhyun releases with his eyes shut and teeth pressed together, his nose is all scrunched up
jesus this one got to him
he drives you to his home with his fingers shaking a little on the steering wheel
literally tapping like they do in his microphone on stage
yep this shook him up
and insatiable byun is now satisfied byun
nothing better than knowing you ruined your cupcake boyfriend in the best of ways
back at his apartment and after some extra carbo hydrate heavy food, as a pre-nap treat you grind on his thighs and his ass because why not
and gyrate him to sleep with his arms and legs stretched in all directions
both of you are still in disbelief that all of this happened
legend has it you’re dreaming of more group sex ideas that night
the next day taemin sends the champagne video to celebrate your first time together
which brings us back to the start
and that’s how it all happened
now you know
congrats on being a lucky girl
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related: super m as subs
FINAL NOTE. ah shit i love this dynamic, thank you for reading 🎊
© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts or translations allowed. all depictions fictional.
671 notes · View notes
cartoonfan101 · 3 years
Text
Someone needs to talk about this and I’m bored again so I’m ready to be cancelled for this.
To begin, as always, I’ll give you some background information.
During the season 1 hiatus of the owl house, Dana Terrace introduced the beta designs of Amity, Luz, and Willow
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They were supposedly 16 and you can already tell by this piece of art alone, the characters were intended to be MUCH different.
The fandom being derived of any canon owl House content, made an entire separate show (idk how else to describe it) with the betas, making the three character 20x tougher then their canon counterpart. Now when it was happening, no one said a word and now all of a sudden that’s changed. Here are the three arguments of why the betas are bad and why I disagree
-Gus isnt in it… that’s kinda racist
-Luz is a stereotypical Latina… kinda racist pt 2
-Sexualizing minors
The first argument is the easiest because the betas were made before Dana knew she was working with Disney, and Gus wasn’t added until she signed with them. I mean, Gus was literally made for his VA. Just because there isn’t a black character in a single piece of art, doesn’t make Dana Terrace racist. Especially since there is also an Asian and Latina character on their (not saying she couldn’t be racist to black People, but she’s really not and you get my point)
Second argument is gonna be one of the harder ones but let’s be honest here, just because Luz is Latina, doesn’t mean making her a bad ass is a racist stereotype. Sure it’s a stereotype, but it’s not like they made her specifically that way. Amity and Willow were changed as well. It was just a coincidence! The world has to face the fact that not everything is racist (I made sure to discuss this with multiple friends of mine of different backgrounds to make sure this was okay!!!)
And third argument is probably whats gonna get me cancelled but whatever. The line for sexualizing minors is bogus. Not only do I know 16 year olds having sex, PLENTY of kids younger than them do it to. So why is it so bad if someone draws a picture of 16 year olds kissing? I understand when it goes too far, but talking about them doing it shouldn’t be frowned upon when it’s a common thing. NOT TO MENTION when I was in the miraculous fandom, almost every single piece of fan fiction included smut between adrienette… 14 year olds. I never found one comment about people sexualizing them, but I find a tiktok of Luz hyping up Amity by saying she has a big butt and all of a sudden everyone’s like “aren’t they 14 🤨”. Kids in middle school say shit like that ALL the time. Why is this any different? I’m not saying sexualizing minors is okay, but the betas shouldn’t be so easily shot down because they’re 16 and making out with each other. Tbh this kinda stuff is different with different ages so you can never really be sure, but people need to have a little more of an open mind.
That’s my opinion and I know I’m probably gonna get some disagreements but whatever. It’s the internet lmao
I just wish the betas weren’t so hated for stupid reasons because they really are amazing
Edit: so it turns out that the betas are actually supposed to be in late high school, early college so they’re about 18. Thanks for telling me @wisconsin2002
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extravaguk · 4 years
Text
santa&prada
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part of my opposites attract! series. 
ksj / knj / myg / jhs / kth / jjk
pairing: rich!jimin x reader
summary: Yeah, Park Jimin most likely didn't even realize he was being a rude and disrespectful son of a bitch.
wordcount: 5k
genre: smut - angst(? - fluff (? idk u tell me
rated: m 
warnings: a christmas fic in late november, cursing, a huge misunderstanding lmao, i call jimin ‘park jimin’ too many times bc i felt like it, car sex, oral (f recieving), some good ole spanking, (kinda) rough and unprotected sex, a lil of dirty talk, spit kink. thats about it. just an excuse to write jimin fucking you in a car. jimin is not as bad as oc thinks srsly.
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The first time you meet Park Jimin is through mutual friends. On a firday night on December, with white, red and green lights decorating the streets of New York, filled with the typical hustle of the masses doing last minute Christmas shopping, the freezing weather impacting your body temperature, cursing yourself for choosing tights, a skirt and heeled boots that are too pretty but too uncomfortable to wear.
You had never considered yourself a particular enthusiast of Christmas festivities. You guess discovering Santa Claus was, actually, your parents before the rest of the kids in your class was one of the many reasons that made you grow up too soon and therefore, not allowing you to fully enjoy the month of December. Or maybe it had nothing to do with Santa, and more to do with your parents deciding to get a divorce a day before Christmas Eve. A traumatic event for seven year old you, but completely forgotten and overcome by twenty-four year old present you.
Growing up each Christmas suffering the consecuences of a shared custody would have probably had a disastrous effect on anybody else, but not you. Although the separation was a tough reality to accept at first, fortunately your parents were always capable of raising you in an environment full of love and affection, just like any other kid. And you prided yourself on having moved on from those circumstances a long time ago (even if your therapist disagreed and blamed many of your behaviors on it. Whatever.)
To put it simply, December was just not the month for you. It was just another month, like the remaining eleven of the year, except Mariah Carey's voice was heard every five minutes everywhere you'd go and people gave each other presents as if it was only during that time of the year when they remembered their loved ones. 
The only thing you could thank Christmas for were the well deserved two weeks of holidays our work allowed until the new year's arrival. Fifteen days of rest, peace and baking those gingerbread cookies that Seokjin died for and that you sincerely denoted as nauseating.
You truly had no idea what exactly you did wrong that night. You don't know if it was something you said, or something you did, but what you did know was that Park Jimin pursued a silent and personal vendetta against you that continued nowadays.
"Here are your disgusting cookies, you filthy animal." it might have been that very first sentence you said when you entered the bar and reunited with your friends that didn't cause a good impression. "Shit, it's cold as fuck. My nipples are harder than my life." or maybe it was your selection of words while you waved every familiar face hello until you stopped to look at the only (pretty. too pretty, as well) one you had never seen before.
"_____, it's Chrismtas! Santa Clause will only bring you a lump of coal if you keep cursing like that!" Lisa laughed while she kissed your cheek and made space for you to sit next to her. "Oh, by the way, this is Jimin. A friend of Namjoon. He's a newbie!"
Park Jimin was stunning, you had no trouble admitting that. You weren't blind, you weren't stupid, and you could go as far as theorize that his dark eyes, his light and always immaculate styled hair, his sharp jawline and those plump lips as red as cherries must have been sculpted by Satan himself.
Fuck, you were even sure you'd be on your knees in front of Park Jimin in an alternative universe begging for his dick inside your mouth. But in the universe where you and the real Park Jimin reside, he would never come near you unless somebody was aiming a gun into his skull.
You're not precisely sure what it was, but a brief exchange of glances and an evasive and sligh shake of hands with Park Jimin was enough to make you feel ashamed and withdrawn for the rest of the night.
If Jimin wasn't even able to drop a polite "Nice to meet you", he sure as hell wasn't able to pretend you even existed.
Even the small talk you had tried to engaged with him about his shiny pair of shoes went terribly wrong.
"Oh, are those Dolce and Gabbana?"
"Dolce and Gabbana are homphobic, racist and sexist, so no" the grimace on his face should've been enough to make you regret speaking to him in the first place , but the snarky voice of his made you want to run away and hide from him until next Christmas.
In reality, you swore you didn't care. Seriously. Other's opinions were never something that could easily bother you or keep you awake at night. You had always turned a deaf ear to the cruel children that made fun of you due to your parent's divorce, you had always ignored the amount of men that never considered you "ladylike" enough (what the fuck did that even mean, anyway? what exactly made a lady and what didn't?), and you had always disregarded any envous comment surrounding you.
So, fuck Park Jimin! You had said to yourself. He's just a well mannered rich boy. Somebody who didn't resemble you in any aspect. A stupid, pretentious, spoiled boy who's had everything he's ever wanted in the palm of his hand, unlike you. Who the fuck cares what Park Jimin thinks? 
But apparently, you did. 
You would have never placed such importance to whatever it was that roamed inside Jimin's head if his appearances in your group of friends hadn't been so recurrent.
Because each time you were forced to see Jimin's face, you were also forced to experience a strange knot of discomfort and humilliation growing in your stomach in his mere presence. It's not like Jimin did anything specific to make you feel that way. He might not even do it on purpose, or his intentions might not be entirely evil. Maybe he simply didn't realize how he always avoided being by your side like the plague, or how his body immediately tensed and he balled his hands into fists everytime you were less than two feet away from him, or how he would look at you from the corner of his eye everytime you decided you speak, almost as if he was waiting for you to shut up to finally let out the air he was containing inside his lungs in relief.
Yeah, Park Jimin most likely didn't even realize he was being a rude and disrespectful son of a bitch.
And with time, you couldn't help but attribute that disdain and hostility that Park Jimin always directed at you to the many undeniable differences that constituted each of you. Park Jimin, with his impeccable and always well ironed Prada shirts, his spotless trousers, jewelry that probably costed more than three of your annual salaries, and always emanating that Givenchy fragance that screamed "wealth!" every rare occasion you could experiment his presence next to you. Exactly two years after that first meeting with Park Jimin, you hadn't been able to avoid reciprocating that feeling of contempt towards him. Not when you were the only victim of his arrogance. Everybody loved Park Jimin, and Park Jimin loved everyone. 
Except you.
Clinging to your glass of Don Pérignon and finishing the rest of the liquid in one go, you try to snap out of your own thoughts, reminding yourself to return to the conversation you're currently having with Taehyung about a pretty waitress that he's met during one of his art exhibitions (or at least that's what you think you caught him say) and forcing yourself by all means to stop observing the friendly and kind smiles that Park Jimin was shooting to those present from across the room and that you will never be able to achieve. 
"_____? Are you even listening to me, darling?" Taehyung's voice is what makes you finally look away from the dumb blond standing on the opposite side of the room, blinking a few times before clearing your throat. 
"Sorry, Tae." letting out a sigh, you try to brush back and put in place the strand of hair that escaped the intricate hairdo you had tried and so miserably failed to do yourself to try to fit in and hopefully impress such environment of preppy and privilaged people (ahem, Park Jimin)  falling on your forehead as best as you can. "Just been really stressed this week and I'm on another planet. You know how I feel about Christmas. I think I need a new flute of . Or five."
Taehyung sends you a look full of empathy and places one of his hands in your shoulder, squeezing lightly in a comforting way. "I'll get you another one. I'll be right back." You quickly interrupt him though, to prevent him from standing up before you.
"No, really. I'll go. I need some fresh air anyways, if you don't mind." And of course Taehyung doesn't mind, so you get on your feet as graceously as your tipsy state allowed you to (who told you it was a good idea to drink three glasses in less than thirty minutes of the extremely expensive champagne Taehyung had brought to the Christmas party he had organized and why did it convince you it would appease your anxiey?) and make your way towards the table where the rest of the bottles are. A table dangerously close to the conversation Jimin and that friend of Lisa (whose name you don't remember) were having.
Both are with their backs turned and, honestly, you take a silent moment to thank God or whatever is up there because the last thing you need right now is yet another awkward interaction with Jimin, so you try as best as you can to refill your glass of champagne to get out of there as soon as possible, praying to make your exit going unnoticed.
But no. Because the stars and the universe loved to align to make you suffer! They love to play with your karma and they love making you damn that one day you didn't help that lady cross the street. They love making you regret buying those plastic straws. They love making you feel guilty for hacking your neighbour's Wifi when you run out of money to pay for yours. Because the moment you try to take a hold of the bottle in your hands, it slips out of your grasp, and you're watching in slow motion how the sparkling berverage ends up spilling all over the extremely expensive (or so you assume. Balenciaga maybe) suit pants Park Jimin decided to wear that night.
Everything is kind of blurry and you can't even hear anything. You can only watch as Park Jimin turns around, lips parted and eyebrows furrowed, until his eyes find you, the bane of his existance and immediately recognizing the culprit of his now drenched piece of clothing. And you can watch as, once again, his gaze turns almost black and narrow lightly as to reprimend you for what you've caused. But of course he doesn't say a word. He has nothing to say. He doesn't even look surprised. No. Because obviously, Park Jimin knew that if there was somebody in this room willing to ruin his night, it would be you, and only you.
"Shit!" you're the first one to break the strained silence, but that only makes Jimin flinch. "Shit, shit, shit. I'm so fucking dumb! J-Jimin, I'm so sorry, let me just go grab a paper tow-"
"Don't." his voice cuts through you. Literally cuts through you. Because it's not often that Park Jimin decides to aim his words at you, but everytime he does it holds the same frigid tone. Like knives trying to painfully stab your being. "Just, don't."
In reality, you don't know a lot of things and you don't know what causes what happens next. You don't know if it's the specific time of the year, you don't know if it's your internal stress, or if it's Park Jimin, his voice, or the fact that he will never like you. But it's instant. They way something compresses your chest, and suddenly your eyes are not glaced by the alcohol but by something wet that threatens to flow. You would never admit to anyone they're tears.
So, shutting your mouth and swallowing the uncomfortable feeling of anguish in your throat, leaving your flute forgotten on the table and grabbing the bottle instead. Without saying a word, your feet start moving up the stairs of the ridiculously enourmous house Taehyung owns towards the first free and empty balcony you can find. Free of people and free of Park Jimin.
Closing the large window behind you, you allow yourself to close your eyes and take a deep breath; the icy temperature outside immediately welcoming you. Although the hairs on your arm stand up and you know you're probably going to catch a cold (because the dress you've chosen for the dinner is not at all appropiate for such winter climate), at least the tension in your body seems to disappear while oxygen keeps that ugly feeling in your heart at bay from continuing to choke you.
With shaky hands, you take a big gulp straight from the champagne bottle. Fuck Park Jimin. No man will ever have the power to make you feel what you're feeling right now.  Fuck Park Jimin. And fuck his beautiful face and his ability to make you tremble and fear looking like an idiot. Fuck his fancy clothes and his perfect manicured hands and his marvelous but frigthening presence. 
Knock knock.
The sound makes you jump back from the window, hand grasping your chest while you turn around, coming face to face with the man in question.  Your first instinct is to ignore him. But that thought is already out of the way when it's him the one who struggles with the window lock before opening and taking a step towards you. You step back as he steps in, raising your head up high and puffing your chest. Because your second instinct is to tell Park Jimin to go fuck himself.
"_____, I would like to-"
"You would like to what?" Jimin looks taken aback at your harshness. Alcohol has always been a weapon of mass destruction in your system, provoking words to flow too easily and without filter out of your mouth, more than they already do when you're sober. Especially when it's mixed with the frustration you've been harboring inside of you for two years. That's why when the words start to come out, they won't stop. "To make me feel like shit one more time? To look at me with that fucking conceited face trying to make me feel like you're better than me? Or would you like to ignore me once again as you always do everytime we're in the same fucking room to make sure I know you hate my mere existance, even if it's just the two of us right now?"
The steam leaving your lips due to the accelerated beat of your heart blurs his face for an instant while he looks at you dumbfounded. The silence and his expression makes you scoff, an acidic smile adorning your face while you take another sip of your drink because even with such a stupid face, he still looks delectable with his white shirt and ruined pants. You turn around, removing a tear that you hadn't even realized had fallen during your speech and that, frankly, you were hoping he hadn't either. You would blame it on the cold, anyway.
This time, a gust of wind running through you from head to toe, making you forget of Park Jimin's presence looming behind you, reminding you it's still December and the fabric of your dress is doing nothing to conceal you from the cold.
But before you can do anything about it and blame yourself for being dumb and not taking your coat with you before deciding to step into balcony, Park Jimin surprises you once again, this time by placing his navy blue blazer over the naked skin of your arms.
Your back straightens when you feel his warm breath caressing the back of your neck, at the same time that a voice you have never heard Park Jimin use with you echoes in your ears.
"I really don't hate you, _____. I..." Jimin wets his lips. His body trembles, but it's not due to lacking his own coat, while his brain hurriedly searches for words eloquent and adequate enough to explain voice his thoughts. "I like you very much, _____."
Scoffing again while you shake your head, you push down with all your inner strenght the incipent fluttering of butterflies in your stomach that Jimin has managed to cause in just a matter of seconds. It's probably the longest sentence you've heard from him in two years, and you don't exactly understand why your body is reacting the way it is. But you're also not willing to give Park Jimin the satisfaction of knowing that. He doesn't deserve it anyway. So with all the courage you can muster, you turn around with your hands clenching.
And even though being at such short distance from Jimin is a bit overwhelming and unexpected for you, the irritation still making your blood bubble is enough to not let a man as handsome as him derail you from your current circumstances.
"Well, fuck you Park Jimin. You certainly have a funny fucking way to sh-" his hands cradling your jaw that pull you closer to him and his lips that silent you roughly, but with surprising care. Only for a moment. A moment in which your body betrays you and make you melt into hir warmth. But his voice, low and sinfully husky, murmurs against your lips. 
"God, that mouth of yours..." he goes back to attacking your own lips, this time more firm than before, snatching a sigh from you. The sound has his tongue asking for permission into your mouth, and with your body betraying you once again, you part your lips to allow him in. It's him who whimpers this time, while one of his hand moving until it reaches the bottle in your hand and letting it drop carelessly onto the floor, ignoring the sound of glass shattering and the future scolding you'll get from Taehyung. Instead, he sneaks that same hand on your waist, pulling your body flush against his, fingers digging onto your skin. "It's been driving me crazy for two years. Two years, _____."
He mumbles between kisses and swipes his tongue against yours, while he stars walking the both of you until your back meets the nearest concrete wall. 
"Two years of having to hear the incessant filthy words that leave your mouth..." his own stop their movements and you catch yourself before begging him to reattaching his lips to yours, enjoying instead the path of wet kisses and bruises his lips traile from your chin to the pulse of your neck "...and trying my best to hide the painful boners I get whenever you're nearby." 
With your eyes shut, your hands are back in motion, ignoring the voice in your head reminding you he's still an asshole and finding their way between Jimin's soft golden strands of hair. He hums in appreciation, sending goosebumps all over your body. "So, s-so why not do anything about it sooner?" you say, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe properly.
You feel Jimin's body tensing before you and he ceases the movement of his lips against your neck. Breaking away, your heart stops, afraid you might have ruined the moment. But Jimin's in search of your eyes, eyebrows very lighlty raised, the intensity of his gaze pinning you in place. You don't know for how long you stare at each other until Jimin comes out of the trance, eyes descending over your flushed cheeks, the very same color as your lips and the soft flesh of your neck until they reach your cleavage, the glimmering fabric encasing your breasts, taunting him the same way they had been doing all night long.
"You scare me so much..." and then, one of his hands repeats the same journey his eyes just did, until he touches your shoulder, right under his own blazer. "Everytime I look at you, all I can think of why the hell a girl as real as you like you would even glance my way." he slides the strap of your dress slowly tentatively, just enough for you to stop his advances if you chose so. You don't. "You're smart in ways I could never compare, so funny it makes me jealous, and so pretty it leaves me speechless. You're...You're everything I'm not."
His voice resonates in the atmosphere, and you would love to blame it on the cold again for how your body has reacted, but your body heat has increased so much since he started kissing you that it would be stupid not to admit that it's just the effect that Park Jimin has on you tonight. You're sure he would've had the same effect if it had happened before.
Your now uncovered breast doesn't even has to suffer the consequences of the icy wind, because one of Jimin's arms quickly comes around you to hold your body against his, lifting you ever so slighty until your erect nipple is at the same level as his mouth and his lips are enveloping it in their warmth. You gasp his name, and that encourages his teeth to tug softly before his tongue stars moving in circes. 
"My God, you're so perfect." Your head spins while you hold onto his shoulders as tight as you can, the undeniable heat roaming all over your form, hips involuntarily rutting his incipent erection poking your abdomen. "Been thinking about this since that night we first met." Looking for relief, Jimin mirrors your movements without ceasing the administrations on your chest, as one of his hands lifts one of your thighs to wrap around his waist, closing the short gap remaining between the both of you. 
"Ohmygod! F-fuck, Jimin," trying to form coherent phrases is almost impossible, not with Jimin finding a slow and tortuous rythm with his hips, his clothed cock rubbing against your core. Something shifts in the air, because Jimin stops abusing your nipple with a loud pop, and shuts you up by pressing his mouth onto yours in an urgent, dirty and desperate kiss. You could almost hear him swearing, while his hand keeps your jaw in place.
"S-stop talking like that, ______." his voice, inaudible, and his face now hiding in the crook of your neck, the thrusting of his hips speeding up, more and more frantic this time. The hand not holding your thigh against his hipbone reveals your other breast, hand covering it and giving it a light squeeze before tugging at your unattended nipple between his forefinger and his thumb while his tongue and teeth mark the skin on your neck. 
"Hell, I've been dying to stuff your mouth with my cock to prevent you from such foul language," the soft whimpers leacving your mouth coax him into taking the hem of your dress and bunching the fabric until his fingers easily find the place in your body calling to him the most through the lace.  It's immediate, how his fingers dampen at the first touch, surprising the both of you, and how your body jolts and an embarrassing sob escapes your throat. "How-how are you this wet? Holy hell, I could just slide right in..."
And as he says that, one of his fingers pull aside the fabric of your underwear and glide into you, so easy. You insides burning while he fingers you, another finger being added with his thumb rubbing circles on your nub. And fuck, you're not sure if you're just too horny and Park Jimin is a magician with his hands, or maybe it's the way he keeps mouthing at your chest and whispering how soaked you are, but you don't think you've ever been so close to cumming in such a short period of time.
"W-whats stopping you?" you manage with a voice that doesn't even resembles yours, but before your hands can even make work of the zipper of his trousers, he pulls his finger out from your center, causing you to whine in protest.
Jimin licks his lips, eyebrows framing the dark expression that his eyes ooze. Although the desire in his eyes is more than evident, it is also evident the faint hesitation in them. Because Park Jimin doesn't do things this way. Park Jimin was raised in a world of correct manners and conservationism. A world that has taught him when and how to act. And as badly as he is dying to fuck you against the wall of Taehyung's ridiculously inmense house, he also wants to do the right thing. 
"Let me take you on a date." 
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Park Jimin has been spoiled his whole life. Being born in a well-off family has always provided him of everything he had ever wanted and more. From the innecessary number of toys Santa Claus left under his Christmas tree every year since he was a baby, to his fisrt extravagant sports car at the age of eighteen. Park Jimin has never been a greedy or needy man. How could he, when he's had everything he's ever wished in the palm of his hands. He has never missed anything in his entire life. Hasn't missed a roof over his head, warm food on his plate or brand new designers clothes each week. 
It has taken him two years to control himself. He still remembers that night he first met you, just like he remembers every single time you both had coincided in the same place at the same time. He remembered your scent, had memorized your figure over your pieces of clothing and had tried as best as he could to keep a distance from you because he knew you would never give him the time of day. How could you? You probably despised everything he was because he was definitely nothing like you, and that thought intimidated the fuck out of him. He was a mess everytime you wear nearby. Never relied on his voice because he knew he would stutter if you ever spoke to him, could never trust his eyes because if he ever looked at you he was afraid he wouldn't be able to look away. 
And everytime you spoke, shit, that voice of yours always cursing here and there left him wondering how would you sound in a different setting and if you would still be that badmouthed. More specifically, between his sheets. So he did everything he could to minimize your interactions as much as possible. He just never thought he would come across as such a jerk. It was never his intention to hurt you, and seeing you cry that night (although you denied you did, over and over again) seriously made him realize he wanted to make things right. 
He was trying really, really hard to keep it in his pants, to be the same well composed and controled Park Jimin he had mastered himself to be. 
But that damn dress.
After seeing that little black dress hugging your figure when you started taking off your coat at the restaurant, the brief flash of thigh tights that you accidentaly (or not so accidentally) had blessed him with by crossing a leg over the other, that exposed collarbone calling his name and those heeled sandals with straps wrapping around your ankles, reminding him of the snake tempting Eve, Park Jimin was sure he needed to dig into that apple more than anything he has ever needed before.
That's why he surprises you right after you both finish the second course meal by telling the waitress you won't be having desert, at which you look at him somewhat indignant. But the look he shoots you is enough to make you understand if somebody was going to have desert tonight, it would be him. In his Mercedes. 
"I'm gonna-" you gasp, fingers tugging at the soft strands of his now ruined blond hair, his head between your thighs and your legs thrown over his shoulders. His hands have a grip of the meaty flesh of your ass, holding you firmly againt his mouth as it works wonders on your clit. You're sure it hasn't even been ten minutes since Jimin had opened your legs in the backseat of his car, not even bothering to take your underwear off, simply moving the fabric aside before diving in, and you already feel yourself on the edge of an orgasm.
"I know." voice vibrating right into your core, he slows down his administrations, tongue carefully and delicately lapping at your folds while he enjoys the feeling of your fingers loosening their grip and fondly brushing his hair back. You meet his eyes as he pushes a finger inside your core and your whole body twists in agony. 
"N-no!" 
Jimin stops immediately, lifting his head and focusing his concerned eyes on you. He's about to ask you if he's done anything wrong, but you're fast to roughly pull him up by his hair until his face is leveled with yours. You answer him by kissing him and he returns the kiss with the same eagerness, and now it's your hands that are looking for his cock, palming him through his pants.
"Your dick. Inside. Right Now." you punctuate each phrase with a kiss and he only stops kissing you to pout.
"But I wanted you to cum on my tongue." but still, he's putty in your hands when you undo the botton and the zipper. "Wouldn't you rather me fucking you in my bed, where we're more comfortable?" you notice the slight quivering of his voice when you slide his trousers and boxers down, just enough to pull him out. 
"You can eat me and fuck me as many times as you want tonight, tomorrow and whenever you'd like, but right now..." none of you contain the moan in unision that leaves each of your mouths when just the head of his lenght comes in contact with your entrance. "I really can't wait anymore." brushing your lips over his, you lower your voice. "Wanna get on my hands and knees for you."
Park Jimin has tried to do things the right and appropiate way throughout all his life. He's been a professional from a very young age on how to be in charge of his emotions, his desires and his impulses. Always well mannered and well composed. 
But it's in this moment that Jimin comes to the realization that the only thing that has ever made him lose his mind and self control, is you. Seeing you like this, ass up, grinding your drenched and still thong clad cunt all over his precum dripping lenght, he can't control the way his hand bunches the fabrick of that damn dress over your waist, then flies to your right cheek, a sharp sound of skin filling the air, tearing a gasp from your throat.
"God, I'm-I'm sorry. Couldn't help mys-"
"Do it again."
And he does, the palm of his hand now leaving a reddenning print on your flesh, making you jolt back involuntarily, aligning yourself to the head of his cock and like he had hoped, he slides right in. Not all the way, because Jimin is sure he would cream inside you too soon and he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he did. He wets his lips, clenching his jaw and dropping his palm one more time, hand more steady and purposeful. 
"You like it rough?" voice hoarse and a hand beside your head holding himself, your back to his chest, twitching beneath him as he soothes the sting with his free one. 
"I like you rough." turning your head slowly to peer at him from the corner of your eye, your hips moving on their own accord trying to take him deeper. Your head is suddenly pulled back harshly, Jimin's fingers tangling in your hair as his own hips close the remaining gap between your bodys in an abrupt thurst. You squeal, Jimin's cock finally filling you up to the hilt just like you wanted him to be, the pleasure making your arms wobble and finding it harder to mantain your balance. 
Jimin's breath fawns over your ear, his tongue darting out to suck on your skin sending chills down your spine. "You're such a dream." he groans, torturously sliding out of your core that's gripping around his shaft for dear life. A whine of protest escapes your lips and he tightens the hold on your hair in response, diving right back in. You fall forward, your arms' strenght betraying you as his thrusts find a new rhythm. With your eyes closed shut, you try to muffle the sound of your voice with the back of your hand as Jimin's lips place soft kisses to your exposed shoulder.
"Don't be quiet." he stands straight, the pull on your hair arching your back in such a enticing way it was Jimin look away for a second, cock buried inside of you and his hips faltering. "Been dying to have you like this for so long."
Another clap of his hand against your right cheek, and a particular stroke of his dick that has you mewling as your climax approached again. "S-so good, Jimin. Oh my god."
"You're gonna cum for me?" his fingertips leave bruises on your skin and the windows of his Mercedes are foggy, just like your mind. You can't concentrate on anything that's not Jimin's cock sliding in and out and how much you wished this had happened way sooner. "Gonna cum for me like a good slut?"
Park Jimin always takes his time. Always does things nice and slow to assure the best outcome possible. 
But he can't contain the acceleration of his hips against yours as your walls clench impossibly tight around his cock, your orgasm finally taking over . Can't contain himself from falling forward again, hand twisting your head in his direction and his mouth searching for yours in a fiery and messy kiss. And he most definitely can't barely contain himself from cumming when your you ask him to spit in your mouth. 
"You're gonna kill me." he breathes, removing himself off you and quickly maneuvering you on your back, his dick finding its way back inside you. Picking up right where he left off, skin slapping against skin in an obscene melody, he collects a considerate amount of saliva in his mouth before dropping it into your welcoming tongue, watching you swallow with a smile he hopes he'll be the only one to see in the future. 
And that's what has the last bit of his self restraint slipping from his fingers. He somehow manages to rip the top of your dress down, fabric tearing until your tits are free and his mouth is attacking your nipples, white strings of his release panting your walls, some of it them oozing out that he fucks back right into you. 
It's between ragged breaths, kisses and tender carresses that Jimin promises you more dates in the future and new dresses that he can't promise not to savage apart again.
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galacticlamps · 3 years
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Tagged by @the--highlanders​ ! Thanks!
How many works do you have on AO3?
13
What’s your total AO3 word count?
76,200
(oh what a nice even number - I should try to mess that up as soon as possible, shouldn’t I?)
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Aw man is this intentionally worded to be really hard to answer? I get that it says ‘written’ and not ‘posted’ but then what constitutes a ‘fandom?’ I definitely wrote fics for stuff I was interested in long before I even knew the word ‘fic’ - I did it throughout my childhood, and then in high school, and while I didn’t do it as much in college, it still happened from time to time. So a lot of the books/movies/tv shows/plays/musicals I wrote things for aren’t really fandoms, and frankly, I had to check my old folder just now to even remember some of them existed. I’ll just list the ones that I know for sure had fandoms, since that’s more fun (and embarrassing), right?
Obviously Doctor Who, classic and modern, Torchwood, Sherlock Holmes (ironically more of these seem to be about the books, but yes, I will admit, some for that tv show too), Les Mis, a couple different Marvel comics & movies, Good Omens, hell, I even found a Night Vale fic in there just now.
And I know there are other older things not even in that folder, some of which never made it to a computer at all, so if I had to ballpark a number I’d probably say around 25ish but really, who knows?
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Across the Gap
On the Spot
Expectations
Shards of Memories & Fragments of Glass
Itemized
(this was fun, I’d never noticed Ao3 even had a stats page until now lol)
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I try to! Sometimes I take a long time to do so but for the most part, I usually get around to it. The rare exception would be if I first saw the comment when I was super busy/distracted and then felt like way too much time passed before I noticed it again, that it might be awkward if I said something at that point.
I do genuinely enjoy hearing what people think, but I’m also weirdly terrified of making anyone feel like they have to reply to my comments. I know that’s probably a little strange, but it’s actually a large part of why I made this Ao3 account in the first place - my original one, from high school, is followed by some long-time friends of mine who aren’t interested in this fandom, some of whom are involved in art & writing professionally. The thought of anyone like that reading something I wrote out of friendliness or even just curiosity and potentially having to pretend they liked it for the same reasons stressed me tf out, so I like having this virtually anonymous one because I can relax knowing that anyone who reads or interacts with something I wrote has probably done so only because they wanted to, rather than feeling obligated, and there’s no pressure on them to be nice to me about it if anything I write or post annoys them - so I really hope nobody who does just know me as an anonymous blog has ever worried about offending me by not replying to something, trust me, I’m perfectly happy with it!
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
I don’t think I’ve really written any angsty endings? I guess the answer would have to be Reckless just because it involves the characters arguing about sad/weighty things and there isn’t really any solution to those issues - but even then I think I ended it with a kind of acceptance that stops it from really qualifying as angst? I also set it in the the same universe as other fics, so maybe that doesn’t even count as an ending? Am I that bad at ending things on angst? Lol
Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Obviously none of the fics I’ve posted are crossovers but I’m trying to think now if any of my WIP’s are - I’ve definitely poached setting/premise ideas from other media, but in terms of actual crossovers . . . I’ve got a few cross-era or cross-Doctor, a few involving Torchwood, but that’s already the same universe, so the only thing that’d qualify as a true crossover would be some vague pieces of a fic where Jamie, Zoe, and Two end up on the Enterprise, since I think the 60s series of Star Trek and Dr Who feel kind of compatible, don’t they? In fact, aren’t there like officially licensed crossover comics or something? Or did I make that up? Idk, and the ideas are very loose, so it’s not much of a WIP either
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Nope, never
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
I’ve never written smut, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that could change soon. There’s a longish multi-chapter fic I’ve been working on for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, and the plot does call for a sex scene at one point towards the end, but I can’t seem to make up my mind on how - uh, I guess the word is explicit? - it should get. I know I could easily do a fade to black/implication thing, but it’s kind of a source of contention and anxiety for the characters, so to skip over writing the actual scene and just revisit them afterwards rings of “and they slept together and now everything’s fine!” which feels kinda cheap to me - in this context, anyway - and not the right payoff for a long fic that’s otherwise more of an interpersonal drama/slightly a period piece, if I had to place it in a genre. I feel like my aversion to actually writing the scene might just be prudishness I should get over, or maybe just self-doubt, because I know I’d rather have a well-written, funny, character-development-supporting sex scene than nothing at all, but since I’ve never had any interest in writing a scene like that before, I don’t know if I can do it well, and I also don’t want to ruin a fic I’m otherwise proud of by doing it badly... ugh I have to figure this out
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I seriously doubt it
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope
What’s your all time favorite ship?
I mean, it’s gotta be Two & Jamie. I’ve shipped things before with varying levels of investment, but I’ve never been able to use the term ‘otp’ in a literal sense until I came across them, and now it’s already basically gone out of fashion, go figure!
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
I’m not sure if I have one? My WIP doc is huge, but I don’t actually intend to get around to finishing everything in it, so I’d like to think that anything I’ve currently singled out to complete can actually get done.
That said, I do have a few AU’s that I don’t really plan to finish, but it might be cool if I could. Two of them are for all the main + some supporting characters of the Second Doctor’s era - one’s a modern day school teachers AU, and the other is a typical fantasy/fairy tale AU. Another is just Two/Jamie, based on Doctor Faustus (specifically the Marlowe play version) but right now there are two different versions of the ending coexisting in my head. I’ve written parts of scenes & some gen. backstory for all of those ideas, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try to finish them, or what form a finished product would even take - a series of one-shots set in the same universe? one long multi-chapter fic with some kind of overarching plot? And the amount of context/worldbuilding a big AU like these would require might not make them very appealing fics for people to read, so maybe it is better if I just keep them to myself, since in my head I already know what’s going on in those worlds lol.
What are your writing strengths?
I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had a creative writing class since middle school, and since then I’ve only ever shown creative writing to others in a fandom context, so it’s been a while since I’ve discussed it or gotten critical feedback. I suppose when I work in other arts or even academic writing contexts, people usually say I’m kind of insightful or at least detail oriented, which might just be another way of saying I overthink things, but I like to imagine I’m decent at finding little points of interest to expand upon.
What are your writing weaknesses?
If you’ve read this far I feel like you must know what I’m about to say: I do not know how to be concise.
Usually when I’m writing a fic, I put down the dialogue first on its own, leaving out the action of the scene and whatever plot/context led there, even if I’ve already figured all of that out. But then when I go to add those things in, they’re always longer than I wanted them to be. I don’t mind writing something long, but I don’t want my fics to be a slog to get through either, and there can be a point at which the stuff I’ve added for context overwhelms the stuff that I wanted the fic to be about in the first place, so it becomes a structural/proportion issue too. I haven’t completely given up on any fics because of this yet, but there’s one I’ve been struggling with for a couple months now - probably because I’m even second-guessing myself on which scenes need to be written out and which can just be referenced like a recap. Hopefully I figure that one out soon.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
((this is karma isn’t it? i posted a fic last week with two words of gaelic in it and was worried about that and now this is karma))
In general, I don’t want to do it. I feel like you’ve gotta have a really good grasp of a language to write dialogue & speech patterns for someone who’s a native speaker, and since I’m far from fluent in any language the characters I write for are, I wouldn’t feel confident writing any significant amount of dialogue in, say, Gaelic.
As a sidenote, though, I kinda love it when other people do it, particularly for Jamie. Irish (Gaeilge) and Scottish (Gàidhlig) are both languages I’ve wanted to learn for a long time, because my family’s fresh out of living speakers of either & I think that’s a shame, but I started with Irish and at the moment I’m still very much learning it. As different as they are, it still helps me understand parts of lyrics or texts that I come across in Gàidhlig fairly frequently, so when it comes up in a fic I get to feel like I’m being responsible and practicing, and it’s great when I can actually understand what’s being said.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
I’m gonna go with Harry Potter even though that’s probably not a perfectly accurate answer - it’s almost certainly the first thing that has a fandom that I ever wrote for, but it was in a notebook when I was a kid and never something that I even typed on a computer, much less posted online or shared with other members of a fandom. But even then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first pre-existing fictional universe I ever set an original story in, because I did that a lot when I was a kid, it’s just hard to remember those clearly or on any kind of timeline.
What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?
I’m very partial to Across the Gap, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that ranked first on the kudos thing above - but I’ve also got a soft spot for So Merrily We’ll Sing. It’s so self-indulgent it feels silly saying ‘it was so easy to write!’ but I guess having a fic that’s already just 100% headcaonons and fluff tied together by a song you really love does prevent it from being much of a labor (I also managed to refrain from making that one unnecessarily long, so that’s another win there)
tagging @terryfphanatics and anyone else who wants to do it - sorry I’m bad at remembering whose tumblr goes with whose Ao3 account, but I really would be interested to read this if anyone else feels like answering them!
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rpbetter · 3 years
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Sorry if this isn't the place to ask but I'm in need of advice. I have a canon character I truly adore, but I haven't gotten muse or any opportunity to write them at all. My blog is collecting dust and the fandom is kinda dead at this point. Not to mention, it's hard to find compatible writing partners, especially with how picky I can be. I'm honestly considering deactivating the blog (for the nth time), but I don't want to lose the writing I have. I know I could archive, but I hate having blogs just sitting around.
In short, I really want to write the muse/keep the blog but I'm not getting any incentive to do that.
Hello, Anon, it’s totally the place to ask!
I will say, though, that since finding and keeping muse can be flavored rather personally, I can’t promise that what works for me is going to work for you. I’ll even confess that in over two decades, I’ve never personally lost muse. I don’t know if it is due to underlying, neurodiverse style, fixating, or if it is due to keeping myself continually invested in both my muse and writing regardless of what else is going on. (Probably a combination of both, though, and the things I do to keep myself highly in touch with my muse I’ll be recommending.) I’m definitely happy to try to help, however.
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That really is a very frustrating spot to be in, wanting to write the muse and keep your blog active, but logging in every day to be reminded of what little reason you have to do so. Since we’re drawn to the characters we are for reasons of personal appeal and writing in itself is a pretty personal form of art, it can also feel depressing on top of the frustration.
However, that’s also the good news, in my opinion, because your incentive here is, or can be, yourself.
You were drawn to this character because you connected with them. They mean something to you, you can relate to them, maybe they have qualities (good or bad) that you wish you could experience. Whatever it is, there’s a reason why you had this draw. Writing is like that as well, there’s a reason why this is a hobby that drew you, that you get enjoyment out of. Again, though all art (it doesn’t matter if it is a hobby) has personal bits of the artist in it, writing is uniquely personal. When you write, you’re exploring thoughts and feelings, giving them life in a character that matters to you. I know, all of that sounds really convoluted and hokey, but it’s true.
And it’s good! That means you always have a reason to write and that you have the tools necessary to find and keep muse without any outside push necessary.
I’d say, firstly, work on getting muse back.
Get back in touch with your muse the next time you feel a particularly strong urge to write. Instead of spending time trying to find people in a silent fandom or forcing yourself to write something you don’t want to, just do some exercises that will help you get back into your muse.
I don’t know what media type your character comes from, but especially if it is something like movie or show that you can have on in the background of what you’re doing, do that. If it’s a comic or a book, think about your favorite scene and read it over first. If you’ve ever made some playlists for writing/your muse, you can always do that instead or as well. The point is to do something passively inspiring while you actively create. Now, that creating...
You want to do something that requires you to think about your muse so you can get in touch with them, not something that is going to make you feel overwhelmed and shut down. So, maybe don’t pick writing prompts for this - you can work up to that. Try out headcanon and character development memes and other question lists instead for right now. Things you can scroll down a list of, find questions that jump out as interesting (or even simply answerable to you at this point, you’re jump-starting a dead battery, it’s alright) and answer them. You can also do something as simple as write down what you like best about the character or their story, or put down the basics of filling in missing information that has always bugged you.
The beauty of this is that it is all on your own terms, your only objective here is to answer what you want, as much as you want. You can stop any time, but you can also answer a single question for three hours, making it eight pages long if the inspiration strikes you. It’s only about recharging your inspiration and establishing a connection with your character again. (This is also going to help you with getting back into writing, or approaching it for the first time, with a more internalized focus of interest.)
When you feel like you’ve done that, you can branch out on these exercises more. Answer the memes more in-depth, answer more of them/the ones you don’t have immediate answers for. You can also try writing out scenes from the character’s canon from their perspective, if it wasn’t already so, adding in their thoughts and feelings, or changing the scene in some ways that would be interesting to write out. This is the point where it’s a good idea to try a writing prompt or two, as well! Take the prompt as a sort of starter sentence from a mutual, you’ve got the situation, fill in with your muse.
Write when you feel like writing. The RPC is great at saying this when it comes to muns not wanting to write, but kind of ignores the other side of the equation. The side where you want to write, have the inspiration and muse to do so, but it might not be the best time. As in, you’re not home/wherever you usually write, with whatever device you tend to write on accessible. No, you’re not going to be able to get as much done, but you can write without the usual situation and device regardless. You can write a scene or ideas down using your phone or tablet, or go old school and use a notebook. If you’re at work and your job isn’t applicable to being able to get down a single sentence, that still doesn’t mean you have to wait 8+ hours to get home; while you’re taking your break, write a little bit. It is a break, and writing is your hobby, it isn’t work. It’s good to do things you enjoy on breaks, and far more fulfilling to have also accomplished something you happen to enjoy.
Not writing when you have the drive to do, putting it off and holding it in until “the perfect moment,” is a great way to lose your inspiration and never actually have that moment. If you feel like doing it, that means it is the perfect moment. Life is restricting, don’t impose even more restrictions on yourself by having to be at home, in a specific spot, with a specific device, at a specific time, on a specific day. Was that annoying repetition? You’re right, it was. And that’s how your creative mind processes all the crap piled onto it that doesn’t allow for creativity.
Now, the other problem, the fandom situation.
There isn’t anything you can do about that, to be absolutely honest. I’m not going to blow smoke and tell you to be positive, wait it out, maybe the fandom will spring to life again. You know, maybe it will...but you could be waiting literal decades for that to happen. Not cool. Please, take my word for that, it’s personal experience that it blows even more than you imagine it will.
What you can do is take the matter into your own hands in other ways; putting yourself out there with more availability in multiple ways.
Are you a single-fandom blog, or are you crossover friendly? If you’re not crossover friendly, try to think of a single, relatively popular fandom that you enjoy. Don’t look at it like a hassle, but rather, just another creative exercise. A serious pitfall of creating alternate universe versions of muses is to take the simplest route, merely picking something you want from that other universe and applying it to your muse with no relevant changes that would naturally occur from it. It isn’t just reductive as hell, it’s not remotely creative, it’s like sticking a sticker on your muse’s forehead and saying that’s a whole different muse. It’s neither attractive to potential partners nor going to sustain your own interest for long. You want this to be a passionate investment on your own end, for yourself.
What not to do:
Let’s say the fandom you picked to do crossovers with is based around magic, the main characters are witches, and they are divided into factions based on how their magical talents display and develop. Not only do you decide to make your muse a witch, you pick the most badass faction. It’s the one full of assassins and action and (metaphorically or literally) sex appeal. Well, that’s also going to be the most popular faction in the fandom. That means there will not only be plenty of big name canons there but also that there’s going to be a plethora of OCs designed just for this universe...and other crossovers from other currently active fandoms.
While that might sound like it’s great for maximizing interaction chances, it’s really not when you’re just starting somewhere new with a character from another fandom that might not be known or liked. It can also take a minute in another fandom’s RPC to identify where the good partners are. Every now and then, it is the most popular and over-populous era/faction/etc., but most of the time, it isn’t. People who write with considerable dedication and talent fairly rarely are in the popular kids club even in their fandom choices. By inserting yourself into that area, you might be bypassing (and being bypassed) by better partners on the assumption that their characters are simply going to bore you to death since they’re not within the scope of your focal point.
It’s not a situation of not being allowed to be picky, you not only have that right regardless of your situation, you also should be. This is not a “beggars can’t be choosers” situation, you’re not beholden to anyone on the basis of being new and bored. However, some of my best, and longest lasting, writing partners over all 23 years I’ve been RPing didn’t/don’t fit with all the exact surface details that automatically draw my interest. It is as true within my own fandom as it is in dealing with crossovers. Opposites (with enough similarities) really do attract and work out well together!
Don’t judge and write people off for anything that isn’t an issue of compatibility with your muse, your writing, or yourself. Decline someone because they do one line only and you are novella, they write topics that are upsetting to you, you can see no way your muse and theirs can interact without instant murder, or because you cannot stand writing with someone who is pulling 90% aesthetics and purple prose. Not because their muse is a witch who uses life-based magic, loves nature, is a healer, and into their health...while your muse in this AU is all about the death, only appreciates an urban environment and is grossed out by animals, kills as an occupation, lives on cheeseburgers and caffeine. You see what I’m saying? Don’t limit yourself unnecessarily!
What to do:
Did you consider if, in that hypothetical idea of a fandom, your muse based on their purely canon self would even fit into that faction? Or is it just something you wanted to see? If you didn’t consider this, or it was the latter, fix that. That’s bad.
If you’re not absolutely dead set on that and only that, think about what really does fit the muse better. Maybe, they would be better as a healer, someone who messes with the very fabric of reality, or someone who manipulates natural elements at will. Then again, they might not even be a witch. They could be more mundane in terms of power, but more accurate and interesting as a normal, human (or whatever). They could even be greatly opposed to the use of magic and witches. Use your muse’s original canon as a base to decide these things.
If you are absolutely dead set on it, though, you have a lot of work to do making the character into what amounts to a markedly different one while still retaining some recognizable aspects of themselves. Consider what events, in this new universe of fandom, might have happened to alter the character thus. Keep in mind that even small changes can have great consequences in a character’s development, and you might need to think about the myriad ways in which that can display, how it changes still more things for this character.
While that job becomes so much more intense when you haven’t planned out a path that matches your muse’s canon characterization at all, it is still an important part of constructing an AU, of any kind, in general. Ask yourself what experiences led to the character you know as you already know them (including your own headcanons, yes). Then, find similar possible experiences within your new fandom verse that can have the same effect. Again, though, it’s important to understand that you are never going to have an identical set of experiences, so you need to explore relevant changes still.
When you do this, you’re allowing your muse to more seamlessly fit into this other universe in a fleshed out, interesting way. Interesting both new partners and yourself.
Okay, next obnoxious question from me! Do you have multiple verses, or are you single-verse?
Whether you are already exploring new fandoms or not, by creating a variety of verses for others to interact with, you’re increasing your chances for interest and activity. When you have a verse from a different fandom you can then, additionally, advertise your presence in both that fandom’s tags when you do a promo or applicable open starter and on active RPer lists for that fandom.
Every popular fandom has such lists. You can get on them by messaging/sending an ask to the blog or by reblogging their post to be added, following the directions. I haven’t seen one yet that doesn’t allow for crossovers. You simply have to tag it as stated in the post, such as “your canon’s name here - original fandom name - crossover.” By tagging your open starter or promo as “-insert fandom here- rp” and “-fandom here- open starter” you allow people in that fandom to find you to interact. Either way is excellent for getting started in totally new places with a character others might be unfamiliar with.
Please remember that if you tag a promo as “promo,” it’ll not show up in searches off of your blog. You know, where it actually needs to be searched. Thanks, tumblr, for being janky! Being more specific as to the fandom and character will help others actually find you. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by tagging it as “promo.”
Make your verses accessible on your blog itself, in the nature of those verses, and how you set up your page or post that lists them.
Don’t put any page behind an impossible or complicated aesthetic. You really shouldn’t anyway, but when you’re needing interactions, it’s actively hurting your chances. Many people don’t want to have to play a game with your theme, it’s a turn off. Try a pinned post that lists all of your links to important pages like rules, verses, and bio instead. It means that, even from the dash, that information can quickly be found while other muns are first interested, and also that anyone who might be using the app can access it more expediently. (I’m genuinely not a fan or big supporter of doing google docs for rules, verses, bios, etc., as it forces people off site, so I can’t personally say, in good conscious and honesty, that I’d recommend it, but you do you!) You want to keep things quickly accessible is the idea here; when people are interested, you want to catch them right then and there before they have a chance to forget and lose your blog.
As to the nature of the verses themselves, give people real options. Don’t have 20 verses that all read same way. Same themes, plot possibilities, and backstories, or incredibly similar names. Have a diverse list of verses that can act as foundations for a variety of different muns. As many fandoms as you can reasonably have a good portrayal of, and different types of fandoms; not all the same genre (all fantasy, all horror, all scifi). Verses where your muse has substantially different goals, occupations, and other life situations that will involve another muse; don’t make your muse A Warrior™ in every verse, you can keep plenty of those aspects without being that literal. People love “modern” verses set in our own universe and, usually, in our own era. That doesn’t mean you have to go stereotypical or otherwise bore yourself by doing the standard “high school/college verse,” for instance. You don’t even have to designate that sort of thing, let alone make it the focus; simply create the verse by considering what your character really would be like if they existed within your reality.
As a final note on verses as pertains to this point, when you’re doing crossover verses, it’s alright to do some verses where your muse from their own canon existence somehow ends up teleported or whatever to another fandom’s reality, or even our own. Just don’t make every verse like this, it puts the onus of a great deal of creativity and effort onto the other mun by default; your muse has cluelessly dropped into the universe, and while it is high drama time for you, the other mun has to babysit, educate, deal with fallout, etc.
On making the list of your verses accessible, you want to focus on ease of browsing and not being overwhelming. People tend to look through a verse page and not read every verse listed, rather, they look at the titles and breakdowns to see if it is of interest, then read it. Don’t try to make everyone read them all, it isn’t going to happen, and shouldn’t change your effort any as the right people are going to find the verses that interest them...if you make it clear and easy enough.
Have a basic format you stick to, firstly. I do it this way: small verse banner, title of verse (linked to its overall tag so that muns can look through the tag at headcanons, aesthetics, pictures of the FC, and threads), muse age/age range, small blurb, possible triggers found uniquely or just heavily within this verse. In that order, one following the other in a simple, but pleasing way. Below that, is a more in depth breakdown of the “verse canon.” Sometimes, that is giving a brief rehashing of canon itself and anywhere my muse differs, be it in this verse only or overall, ending with where my muse is in this verse. Not literally where. I mean their present occupation, emotional and general state in life. At the very end, I provide any other relevant links and/or an expansion on the triggers mentioned at the top of the verse description if they’re that serious/recurrent so that muns can decide this isn’t the verse for them. I happen to have a potentially triggering muse, triggering verses, and writing triggering topics, though. That’s not something everyone needs to do.
Secondly, group your verses in a sensible way. I do my short list of default verses first. (And, I do mean short, you don’t want this be any more than four or five, it is overwhelming right out of the gate.) For me, that is two default verses of canon at different points on the timeline, one default AU that is a bit of a reversal of canon, and one default “modern” verse. Then, I list the verses that are in line with the altered canon one, just different possibilities, changes, points in history. After that, the different “modern” verse options. Then, verses for other fandoms, the crossover verses. And so on. This way, a potential partner can find the type of verse that might appeal to them and have an easier time picking from those possibilities and getting ideas.
Lastly, don’t be so succinct that you give too little information and underwhelm, but also don’t be so excessive that it takes all of the mystery of interaction away and overwhelms someone. It can be a difficult balance to strike, and some verses require more information than others, just experiment a bit. Additionally, it’s fine to link to pertinent information for the other mun to view aside from this, but don’t just link people to a fandom wiki as your “description/bio.” That isn’t giving information on how you write this muse, approach this fandom, or what another mun can otherwise expect. Keeping your descriptions interesting is important, you’re not giving a boring lecture, you’re trying to inform someone while making them hyped for their choices. It’s more interesting, and informative, to read if you do them with an ear to the “tone” of your muse in that verse. Is it a sad one? Sound that way. These can, indeed, function as snippets of your writing, so be sure you are writing them with the same care you should be giving your replies; spellcheck, good word flow and use, mind the grammar, and read over what you’ve written for common, easy mistakes.
Again, by giving a genuine variety of verses to choose from, you’re allowing for a greater reach in potential partners. Everyone from those still in your original fandom to those in new ones, all the way to fandomless muses will be able to interact with you this way.
Finally, in regards to what you can change or do when you’re in a dead fandom and seeking interactions; make sure you are increasing your reach by using proper tags, being honest about what and how you write, and don’t wait for others to stumble across you.
When you use tags properly, you’re increasing your chances of being seen at all. Every time you post something at all applicable on your blog, tag it with relevant things. Tag as described above with whatever fandom it is and “RP,” your character’s name, “open RP,” character name and RP, indie RP, open starter, and so on. Be sure you are optimizing your tags by placing the most relevant to finding you in the first four, those are what show up in site-wide searches only. Anything after that isn’t going to appear in a search across all tumblr.
By tagging your character’s name, as a canon, you should know that you are likely to get personal blog interaction. I’m pretty against being nasty to personal blogs for no reason, as I don’t appreciate personal and fandom blogs being shitty to me for the sole reason that I am an RPer. Please, use clear, short, attention getting directions for them. If you want no interactions with them, put right in the description of your blog “RP blog, does not interact with personal blogs.” When you say things like, “personals dni,” or “personals blocked,” you’re not doing anyone any favors. Personal blogs often don’t even know what the hell a personal blog even is! They do not denote themselves this way, to a personal blog, they’re just a blog. By designating first that you are an RP blog, you’re making it clearer that they’re the personal; they’re obviously not an RP blog, so that must make them a personal. Follow this up in a pinned post, right on top. Give a note to personal blogs that describes them as “any blog that isn’t an RP blog” first, then either tell them in brief what they can and can’t do or that you don’t interact and will block.
I don’t recommend taking your blog off of being findable, however. That’s alright once you have the RP activity you are looking for, but until then, it’s working against you. Other RP blogs cannot easily find you either, they will only find you if you’re on a list or appear in their recommended blogs, if you interact with a mutual, or are recommended by a mutual. You’re not just lessening your chances of personal blogs finding you, so if you have that turned off, turn it back on.
Don’t entirely rely on others finding you regardless, though. You can’t be 100% passive when you have no interactions, and by relying solely on serendipity you’re far less likely to get them. I know that everyone here is terminally shy, but seriously, you have to do more than put your silent will into the universe that someone perfect find you. You have to make this happen. Once you get a few people, you can afford to be more passive. Not only do you have some people to write with, you will be more visible to their mutuals, and more established as a presence. I’m not saying this is easy, or that it will become easy, not awkward or stressful, if you have a legitimate issue behind the shyness. Just that it is the only way to really proceed, and I believe you can do it!
So, go looking for interesting blogs. Be crossover and OC friendly (again, this doesn’t mean “accept everyone,” there are valid reasons for not accepting people you won’t work out with that have nothing to do with their fandom or being an OC), and search those fandom’s RPCs, following any blogs you think you might work out with upon reading their rules and other pages. Search for fandomless OCs and do the same thing. Fandomless OCs aren’t just floating around in the ether, they just weren’t created expressly for a particular fandom and within its confines. What is excellent about that is their ability to have a wide variety of verses and many possibilities to fit into any fandom or verse. So, don’t count them out solely on the basis of being an OC and fandomless. It doesn’t mean what people seem to think it does!
Do not stop at having followed 50 blogs. I mean, other than that you probably should stop following people for a bit. That you should do, as you need to be building writing relationships here, not following so many people that you cannot get to them. Don’t just stop at the follow, though. Since you’ve read their rules and information like a good RP partner, you should have some idea of what their interests are and where they align with yours, as well as how they prefer to be approached, if they accept memes right away to start, need plotting, have a rules password. When they’ve followed you back, proceed with interaction!
Ask if they’d like to plot when they have time, you’re really looking forward to writing with them. But...have some idea of a plot, please. It is a serious turn off to have someone message you wanting to plot, only to reply and get “lol I don’t have any ideas, anything works for me/whatever you want to do.” That isn’t plotting, it’s one party coming up with ideas and constructing a plot while they’re being told “I’m fine with anything.” That may be true, but it’s disheartening and a red flag for many people. If you genuinely can’t come up with anything, pick verses that match up well and suggest doing something within them.
“When you have the time, would you be interested in discussing writing? I was looking at your verses, and I think your verse -name- and mine, -verse name-, would mesh well.” Is a good way to start. Once you have a discussion flowing about the verses meshing and the muses, it’s typically easy to organically develop some plot ideas to go off of.
If both you and the other mun are alright with plot-free interaction and memes, you can send a meme any time. If you can’t find any memes on their blog, look for a wishlist or navigation page that shows you the tags for memes/wishlist. Still can’t find it? Ask them if they’ve got a wishlist or meme tag you can look through.
Additionally, if open starters are a thing you both do and are alright with, find some of theirs and respond. Post your own, tag it appropriately to be found in general and on your blog, and reblog it once or twice. Don’t excessively reblog it, and don’t get upset on the dash if no one interacts with it or any memes you reblog. Both are demanding to outright guilting, and not a good way to get partners. Just provide them with the ability to easily interact by making the posts available in the first place and by making them findable on your blog search and navigation.
Provide something for potential partners to see. Since you said you already do have writing, that’s great! That’s content on your blog that your partners can view. However, since you’re also having the issues you’ve stated, it’s likely that you haven’t many new posts. Show that you are active, interested in being here, and how you write your muse (and in general) by posting some newer content. For original content, do a headcanon or some meta, or post about new verses you are adding, the changes on your blog, a promo. For reblogs, things pertaining to your muse like canon imagery, fanart, quotes from canon or that generally express your muse, and aesthetics relevant to your muse are all excellent things to queue.
Use that queue. Not only do very few people appreciate having dash spam of similar content for the comparatively short time you might be around, but also, running these things on a queue means you spread that out for maximum view. While there are hours of heavier activity, you’ll have mutuals who are on at unusual hours due to their life and preferences or their timezone. This way, you’re not appearing inactive, if not outright invisible, to those mutuals. It’s not a bad idea to use a queue tag so that people know if they interact with a post that’s been queued, you might be here to quickly respond.
Ultimately, to fix your fandom and lacking partners problem, you just need to up your availability and reach beyond that fandom alone. Be proactive in following and approaching, decline blogs based on not working out only, utilize tags and fandom RPer lists, have everything on your blog easy to follow and not overwhelming, and have your verses meet as wide of a range of people as possible while also not being overwhelming.
Try updating your promo, as well, by the way. They’re not dead, they just really tanked when people kept making them based solely on aesthetic principle instead of being at all informative about the muse. They do seem to be coming back, so it’s a thing to consider.
Yes, make it visually appealing, it will draw people to reading it. No, do not just use a song lyric or quote with words highlighted linking your rules, verses, bio. Tell people basic info like the age of your muse and yourself, if you are multiverse and multiship, your muse’s canon verse and a couple of big interest verses of other major fandoms or themes that tend to be of interest to people, and what kind of RP you write - one line/para/multipara/novella. Absolutely give links to rules, verses, bio, and either memes, wishlist, or open starters, but give them just like that; make it very clear what this link is to. Put a very short statement of interest on there denoting that you’re expanding to new fandoms and looking for writing partners.
Do not sound desperate, demanding, or devaluing of yourself. Don’t say shit like “because my fandom is dead,” “trying this before I give up and delete my blog,” or “I suck at interaction/writing/ooc interaction/being a person but welp giving it a try, so follow and hit that heart.” (Conversely, calling yourself derogatory things and implying that your partners are too, such as the “we’re all just losers here” shit.) All of the above are not attractive, and they’re not even surprising enough to stand out anymore. It’s another reason to scroll right by that promo because nothing at all was different or of interest.
And as a wrap-up/rehash of the first topic, getting muse back: try starting over at the beginning by approaching the media involving your muse that has really stuck with you emotionally over the years, and exploring and developing your muse again.
Don’t tell yourself you can only write, for example, at home, on the laptop, after 7pm, and with a pop toy staring at you. The best thing about writing, as opposed to so many other hobbies, is that you can do it anywhere! So, do that. Do it any time you both feel the inspiration to do so and aren’t going to get fired or expelled for it. This isn’t work, it’s something enjoyable that does take effort (like literally all creative activities and skills do), but approaching it as though you need to follow novel writing advice from someone who has never published anything of note and isn’t you on the internet, with strict rules for success makes it feel that way. So does being frustrated with a dead fandom, no interaction. It’s disheartening, feels as annoying and fruitless as work often does. You probably need to break out of that mindset, and you can only do it by beginning to allow yourself to be creative on your own terms, entirely for yourself.
Do write simple things at first that you are inspired to do (you can’t get a scene out of your head, or a bit of dialogue), and/or headcanon/character development memes and question lists. Build from there as you get back in touch with your muse, writing things primarily or entirely for yourself still. Expanding on headcanons, doing some meta, or maybe writing out a missing piece of canon or what you’d be interested in seeing happen in canon if some event was altered.
Doing this sort of thing, you are getting in touch with your muse again and back into the real spirit of writing creatively, simultaneously.
Whatever you find most inspiring, do it. If it’s watching the movie or show again, do that, have it on while you write or simply think on the character’s actions, thoughts, and emotions during those scenes. If it’s reading the material again, do that, and read snippets of personal importance before you write. Maybe it’s some past playlists you can have on while writing, or even while you’re cleaning, walking the dog, driving or riding somewhere. It could even be your own previous writing! Go ahead and re-read that, it sounds like you still appreciate it, and that’s truly promising. If you find that you’re horrified by some of the things you’ve written in the more distant past, hey...that’s not just valid as hell, it’s natural. You know what else it is? An inspiration. You can clearly see that you could do better, that means you now know how to do better and are ready to do so. Validate yourself, prove it to yourself by rewriting or fixing something.
Don’t delete the blog or archive it. It is unpleasant to have a dead blog around, but don’t keep it dead. Use the same blog and simply transition it into wider things that will net you more partners and the interactions you deserve.
Look, even if you weren’t the most popular blog in your fandom before it went quiet, you really appreciated the blog, muse, and writing you were doing. You’ve defined that it wasn’t something you did to cause this situation, you just had the shit luck we all run into eventually of being in a fandom that ran out of material or interest. People are really fickle, so by taking a wider approach and fixing on the writing and muse instead of fandom now, you’re stopping this from repeating. Seriously, on a long enough timeline, every fandom dies or goes into hibernation. If you make a whole new blog with a different muse, it is going to happen again eventually.
So, don’t feel like you’re ridiculously clinging to the past and need to move on, you’re just sticking to something and can continue to stick to it through the next five fandom deaths. Just because it is the most popular thing to do to drop muses, constantly add new ones, and have this attitude that you can “blog refresh” your way out of recurrent, and inherent, problem doesn’t mean it is actually the right thing to do. It’s not even the most sensible, and certainly not the best thing to do with anything you’ve spent time and effort on.
That’s your incentive; yourself, the time and care you’ve put in, and your continued interest in writing and the muse. You’ll find good people, and bluntly, everyone else can fuck right off when you’re incentivized by yourself. It becomes a self-fulfilling activity at that point, I swear, and it feels really nice.
Just get back in touch with your muse and writing itself so that you can begin to expand and start interacting again!
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dgcatanisiri · 4 years
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I have historically shied away from using the word, because it always feels like an overreaction, because, hey, I can power through, and it’s not a big deal, it’s not like we’re talking about something that genuinely makes me relive any actual trauma, right? 
But... I think about the physical response I have, the depths that my anger and frustration go to, which I can often admit can hit excessive at times... I start thinking that it’s accurate to say that Liara is a trigger for bodily autonomy for me.
Like... Peebee and Cora both suffer from a lot of the same issues that Liara does in terms of focus, but neither of them draw the same sense of ire from me. They both have attention in the narrative that reaches excessive (particularly at the expense of other characters) - someone timed their character/romance content, and the two of them had the most in the game, while Gil (my preferred romance of my options) had the least. Peebee’s introduction is sitting on Ryder, while there’s the come on with her in the escape pod that I would legitimately refuse to even get in before it happens. Cora is... Well, I’ve been over how I don’t think she should have been a romance option at all because it just muddies her character arc.
And yet neither of them elicit the same kind of frustration I get with Liara.
Because with Liara... It is mandatory that we meld with her in ME1, multiple times. And if you even try to duck out of it, she badgers Shepard into it. The meld is explicitly said to be a part of the asari reproductive process, so we have Liara effectively coercing Shepard into having sex with her, and in front of others. Potentially multiple times. 
Like... I’ve been public about how the big reason I don’t care for Bull’s romance is the fact that, being asexual, being specifically a sex-averse asexual, bondage is catapulting over my line at mach three. So what is effectively what amounts to public sex that has been coerced? Same damn thing.
Except the narrative thinks it’s fine. Hell, going off the damn Genesis comics, Shepard is supposed to LIKE it (which... NO, and fuck you BioWare).
The meld in general is deeply uncomfortable for me, considering that I honestly wouldn’t mind meld with people I consider close enough to be family, blood or not. And yet it’s mandated that Shepard do this with someone who is, in essence, a total stranger. Multiple times. In front of several people. 
And then there’s the recovery of Shepard’s body. Which she sets off to do, wholly on her own, without even telling any of Shepard’s other friends. And proceeds to do so, only to hand it off to Cerberus, so they can perform their Frankensteinian mad science to bring Shepard back.
All because, and I’m using her words here, she “couldn’t let [Shepard] go.”
SHE decides what is to be done with Shepard. For HER. No care or consideration of what their wishes would be, she does it because she doesn’t want Shepard to be gone. Not even that she believes Shepard is the best chance for the galaxy, but because SHE wants Shepard alive. Uncharitably, but it comes across like saving Shepard is a choice she makes in the hopes that they will proceed to hold her close, declare their undying love for her, and they can run off into the sunset with a horde of blue babies at their side.
And the narrative again sees nothing wrong with it. In fact, it rewards her for it - she’s the only reunion in ME2 that results in a hug, no matter relationship status. She’s a stationary reunion we can have at any time, unlike Ashley/Kaidan, who get just a brief cameo. The one response that even approaches being upset about this act focuses only on the fact that she kept her involvement from Shepard, not what she had done specifically, and not just loops back around to the friendly “let me know if I can help” exit line, but also is “bugged” to not be accessible unless you take it the first time it appears. She gets a DLC that features her and Shepard running around and bickering like an old married couple. She joins back up with the Normandy and is immediately treated as Shepard’s XO. Multiple points in ME3 feature her as the person who Shepard can unburden themselves to - the ONLY person they can unburden themselves to. If you don’t take the opportunities to do so with her, there is no answer or equivalent with any other character.
Yes, obviously, we’re talking game mechanics and production costs with creating multiple branching conversations. I understand the real world rationale for these decisions. It does not change the fact that it still pushes this character who crosses my boundary lines into the spotlight.
Like... I have seen the negative consequences of someone making a choice for themselves because they couldn’t let someone they loved go. And while it obviously worked out fine in the games, worked out for the best in the case of Shepard, I saw the negative side effects of the idea of keeping someone alive for the sake of that .0001% that they’ll recover. The reality of the 99.9999% chance that they don’t recover and spend the rest of their lives in a situation that I classify as more a living death than anything else.
And yet the narrative only rewards Liara for her selfishness. Not once does anything in the writing stop to consider that anyone could view her actions as having been done for selfish reasons that came at Shepard’s expense, at the expense of whatever Shepard may have wanted - again, yeah, maybe it turned out for the best in terms of the galactic situation, but that doesn’t mean that it was RIGHT for her to do this. A positive result does not change the selfish motivations that led to the act being done.
Miranda, at least, calls out her hypocrisy of wanting to put a control chip in Shepard’s head after her father spent his life trying to control her. It’s part of Miranda’s character arc that she viewed rebuilding Shepard as a project, more her molding a work of art rather than a medical procedure on another person. But Liara... She just takes responsibility for consenting to this and no one ever asks “hey, Shepard, how do YOU feel about this friend of yours giving the go ahead on resurrecting you in defiance of all known science and nature?”
And all this... I wouldn’t mind it so much if we could just CALL OUT Liara’s actions. If the narrative would properly acknowledge “hey... this was kinda fucked up that she went after Shepard’s body like this wholly on her own, and then gave the go ahead to resurrect them for the chance to get them back,” I’d be a lot more okay with Liara. I still would keep her at arm’s length, but I’d feel like the game wasn’t gaslighting me, telling me that her actions are only to be rewarded, what’s your problem with her, here, we’re gonna immerse you in Liara content and help you get past these silly “issues” you have.
So, yeah. I have spent years trying to avoid using the word, given how loaded a term it’s become with how dismissive people have approached it, but... It is a trigger for me. Liara, as a character, triggers issues of bodily autonomy for me. She makes a choice for Shepard that is based on what SHE wants, not Shepard, and the narrative proceeds to reward her and frame her decisions and her actions as right and proper.
So for her to be the big reveal of the first trailer for the next Mass Effect is... NOT something I celebrate.
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lemystical-puffle · 4 years
Text
My A3 Sexuality Headcanons that no one asked for!
[These won’t include Gender, only sexual orientation or lack thereof(is that a phrase?)]
Color coordination
Gay
Bi
Pan
Aro
Hetero
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Sakuya Sakuma: Pansexual! He doesn’t have any preferences, honestly after his childhood he just wants someone who will love and accept him!
Masumi: Bisexual. I feel like he would love the director whether they be boy, girl, other, all, he just wants someone to give him attention, and that person just happened to be out beloved Izumi Tachibana.
Tsuzuru: okay this ones me projecting but whatever Aro/Ace Tsuzuru. He doesn’t feel romantic attraction, and instead just feels a family-brotherly kind of love towards his friends and fellow actors. He doesn’t really want to romantically be with someone, and yet instead just wants to be there for them when they need it and love them the same way he loves his family at home
Citron: Also pan!! But Pan-Romantic specifically. Citron literally just wants to love everyone ever because he’s just awesome like that, but won’t go pass kissing someone. It just makes him uncomfortable which is perfectly fine because he is Citron Lastname! But yeah, also no gender prefermance
Itaru: Bi with a male preference. I can’t really explain why I think this, I just do. Maybe because most of the woman he has ever shown interest in are his 2D anime waifus. Also I mean come on he totally had a whole thing for Lancelot he thinks knights are hot and that is so valid.
Chikage: he is a gay cabbage. Listen the only time he has said he liked a woman it was because he said they weren’t like his mom and I am just- I’m sorry I don’t trust that. This man is a gay, he is never had a boyfriend but he has definitely thought of hooking up with his boss for a raise, thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
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Tenma: Also bi! Bi-Ace specifically. I wasn’t really sure where to put him because on one hand I feel like he has a lot of MLM energy but on the other hand his solo song so I just, bi. I feel like his gay awakening came when he played the token gay best friend in a romcom because gay actor erasure but Tenma didn’t really understand, but later he was in a scene where he was with his boyfriend who shows up for one second to remind the audience he’s a homosexual and Tenma was just: crap he’s not
Yuki: okay at first I didn’t know what to put for Yuki cause on one hand sexuality erasure Yuki has specifically said he likes girl and he defies stereotypes and stuff but on the other hand he never said he didn’t like boys so he’s bi with a female preference. I feel like Yuki is the kind of guy to just happen to fall in love with whoever and just go “oh crap did I just fall in love?” And while he likes girls more sometimes it just. Happens.
Muku: Surprise surprise he’s Pan! Muku totally reads shoujo manga with all sexualities and is very livid about good representation, will write a “negative review” (and in Muku terms that’s him being very polite, 4.5/5 stars and linking research resources) about how inaccurate a sexuality was portrayed. I feel like at first he just thought he was a very active ally and now he is just: “oh crap boys. And girls. And enbys. And genderfluids. And everyone.”
Misumi: Misumi is very homosexual, which at first he was sad about because homosexual has 2 o’s which are circles but then he realized he can just say gay but spell it like: G🔺Y so he got happy again. I feel like it was one of the reasons he was kicked out of his home, he just likes boys Jeez Ikaruga parents no rights. (I also Headcanon him as autistic but that’s not what this post is about).
Kazunari: In Kazunari Miyoshi’s world he never has to make a decision in his life and that includes sexuality. Show him a guy and a girl and tell him to pick one and he will simply overload until he picks the person who knows the most trivia on classical art or smthing. Kazunari just: adores everyone ever, and that’s okay! After a lot of internalized homophobia and fear, he was able to come out to first a small group of college friends and eventually felt comfortable with the label and was able to express it openly, now he wears it with pride!
Kumon: I really don’t have any explaining to go here, Kumon just feels gay to me. My head can’t wrap around him wanting to be intimate with a girl. I do think there was this big moment of him coming out to Juza and Juza just going “s’okay.” Then they hug and get ice cream
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Banri: Banri is bisexual with a straight pride flag and a Juza Preference. Catch him at the straight pride parade telling “those Homo’s that they’re going to burn.” While making out with Juza against a wall. That’s canon I don’t take criticism
Juza: Also Gay, I feel like Kumon came out first and Juza did research and was like “oh me too.” And just thought about how he’s never actually liked a girl and thought boys were kinda pretty and oh crap Settsu slicked his hair back oh crap oh crap pretty men.
Taichi: Taichi is bisexual, with his preferences being as random as his hair. Except no weird 1/4 quarters going on. Idk where I was going with that analogy I’m sorry. Taichi just likes the humans and wants to go kiss kiss with them all, and then bring them along on his journey for fame and popularity!
Omi: Listen, Omi is the mother of Mankai, and as the mother he loves everyone unconditionally. He also totally wanted to kiss Nachi I’m sorry. I feel like Omi has a male preference, but only by a bit as he loves everyone! He is a good boy and brings all the snacks and water to the pride parades so his friends stay healthy :)
Sakyo: Sakyo is the straight~ supportive dad who doesn’t care if you’re gay straight bi pan anything as long as you pay your taxes. Was probably a little confused at first just because. Probably said “LGBT? Isn’t that a sandwich.” But he got informed did research and is now a huge ally! After more research he identifies specifically as graysexual/romantic as he feels rarely any romantic attraction at all unless under certain circumstances aka Izumi Tachibana. I akso think he suspected that Azami was LGBT for a bit before he came out so he wanted to do research so that Azami would feel comfortable coming out when he was ready. Also he can’t like, not support Sakoda (who I Headcanon as gay :) )
Azami: Azami is bi-aro. Sex? Nah he won’t even hold your hand before marriage, however he will love you no matter your gender. I also see him with a female preference just from his straight upbringing and it’s the title he feels most comfortable with after some internalized homophobia, especially with how his dad shamed him for liking makeup. He is still getting used to the LGBT community and I feel like he is still taking baby steps, learning about different identities and wanting to do all he can to support both himself and his fellow actors due to simply not knowing where to start. Don’t worry Azami take you’re time! There is no rush, you are trying to figure yourself out and we all love you so much for it, there is no shame in changing your mind later. We adore you all the same. (If you couldn’t tell, I wasn’t only talking to Azami. If you are still questioning yourself it is 100% okay, because honestly I am too. There is no rush to figure yourself out, and I hope you know that we are all here for you!)
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Tsumugi: Tsumugi is gay, but I feel like he also had a lot of internalized homophobia. I feel like when he was younger he really liked Tasuku but didn’t really understand the difference between platonic and romantic, and it took some time before he was able to really discover himself and come to the identity he has currently.
Tasuku: Tasuku is gay and homophobic.
Hisoka: Hisoka is homo-demi-romantic asexual. I feel like it won’t want to date anyone without really earning their trust and feeling safe around them, and after that point he still will be pretty shy romantically, but it is very much understandable and we all still love Hisoka
Homare: Homare is pan. He doesn’t really care about gender, he just wants someone who will love him and his poetry without seeing him as broken. I feel like after his last relationship he was hesitant to date again, but after some time and help from the rest of winter troupe he was able to rediscover himself. (Also autistic Homare go brrrr)
Azuma: Azuma is an old gay man who just thinks boobs are neat. That’s it that’s the post sent tweet turn off replies.
Guy: New color who this? This is because I didn’t know what to put for Guy, so he simply doesn’t identify as anything. I don’t know a lot about Guy but I know enough to feel like relationships would be very awkward and touchy for him due to his problems with emotions and expression. He isn’t straight, but he doesn’t really identify as anything either. He’s just: Guy. Which is more than valid
[oh also all of winter is Poly and they’re boyfriends thanks for coming to my Ted talk]
Hope you all liked these! Of course they are all my own opinion and you don’t have to agree with all, they’re just how I feel!! Feel free to reply or reblog with your own opinions or Headcanons!!
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