#the one from carcosa

[versegm]

“Cahors…” I reach out, set my hand on their elbow. Squeeze. “Are you okay?”

Their tail lies flat on the ground. Defeated. “I’m… I’m the last one, Neha.” Their voice breaks on my name. “These sights, our stories, our cultures… the only things that survived are what I carry in my memory. And when I die, it will all die with me.”

They turn to me again, voice dripping with rain. "If there is no one to witness this, if there is no one to remember it. Isn't it as if it had never existed?"

… No. No, that can’t be right.

"It doesn't mean it didn't matter.” I deny. “It doesn't mean it cannot matter.” I slide my hand down, my fingers between theirs. “You and me, together.” I struggle with words. Thoughts pile up in my head, too many, too fast, for me to process. I need them to understand. I need them to understand. “You said we were witnesses. Carcosa is as much a part of Cahors as Cahors is a part of Carcosa. Even if it’s only just a little, what you pass on to me, I pass it to my world. Stories or sayings and whatever- even if it’s just a little.”

I look up to the sky. “These stars have a longer reach than this world.”

The one from Carcosa, from Horny Tales of Horned People, Verse Atoui

[petit-etoile]

Congrats on the 200 Followers man! Here's my drabble for ya, go nuts on what you wanna write from this; “Kiss me and/or shut up.”

your  heart understood  mine

pairing: astarion/tav wordcount:  919 content warnings: ne.il new.bon said something about little astarions once & now i have Thoughts other tags: canon compliant, introspection, character study, idiots in love, established relationship, gender neutral tav, human!tav archiveofourown: here.

tag list: @azrielshadows1nger, @pandimoostuff, @faevi, @microskies, @foreverthemaraudersera, @queenofthespacesquids, @claryvoyantfray, @6doodlaang14, @anne-isnotokay, @itshimbotime, @yeeteth-the-raven, @sessils, be added to the taglist here

summary: 'When am I happiest?' / 'When I'm looking at you.'

‘So,’ Astarion says casually, staring at his nails. ‘What do you think the answers truly are?’

‘The answers to what?’ you ask.

‘Don’t play coy,’ he says. ‘The little…love test. I was rather pleased you didn’t expose me in front of a stranger, but now I’m curious.’

You remember Zethino now. You take a moment to glance at him, though your hands are still busy sewing away at a tear in your armor. Astarion is watching you while wearing a guarded half-smile, neither interested in his nails nor in your messy stitches. Your cheeks heat up and you look back down at your uneven handiwork. Your throat tightens a little.

When you had asked him if he had wanted to participate with you, you thought Astarion would reject it. It seemed silly, so out of element for the both of you that the thought of him genuinely agreeing never crossed your mind. Yet now he questions you about it, questions you about your answers, and you feel more nervous now than you had when Zethino called you stira. Astarion takes your armor from you and begins patching it himself, fed up with your clumsy stitches.

‘The heart is fraught, so let us begin with the joyous,’ Astarion recites sarcastically. ‘When is he happiest, my love?’

‘I don’t think you’ve ever been happy,’ you say quietly.

He hums. ‘Well, that’s mostly the correct answer,’ he says. ‘But you’re missing something. I know you can guess it if you really put your mind to it.’

‘You’re happiest with me,’ you say bravely.

You look him deep in his eyes, holding your breath. He laughs and nods, chuckling to himself while he tries to salvage a piece of leather. You think he might be blushing, but it’s hard to tell with how pale he is.

‘Many things delight the heart,’ Astarion continues, mimicking her monotonous timbre. ‘Only one makes it sing! Tell me, my sweet, what does he desire more than anything.’

Revenge. You had told the dryad he wanted revenge, but didn’t go into detail, not in front of someone unfamiliar. You watch as he untangles the thread, his hair soft and elegant, his hands assured and practiced. There lives a colony of butterflies in your chest. Your heart is beating so loud you’re certain he can hear it.

‘A life with me,’ you say.

‘You,’ he agrees.

‘A gaggle of little Astarions trailing around,’ you add.

Astarion looks up sharply, his mouth hanging open slightly. You press your lips together immediately and try to think of an apology but there’s something beneath his careful façade. You were right. You realize it now. You press a hand to your chest as if to stop your heart from pounding. Astarion wants a family, and he wants you, and even beneath that desire for revenge and for strength, once he succeeds then all he wants is you. He looks back down at your clothes in his lap and laughs shyly. You think you might faint.

‘The last, um, question,’ you stutter. You realize your palms are sweaty and blush.

‘Fear sits in the soul of all,’ Astarion says finally, voice soft. ‘To tame it, we must name it. What is his deepest fear?’

This time, you feel as though the answer isn’t so easy. Beneath the fear of Cazador and the fear of the mindflayers, there is something else brewing. You’re afraid to even mention it, but he’s curious and genuine. You slide closer to him and pull part of your armor into your lap so that you share the burden. He presses his nose to your temple and you distract yourself by touching the part of your armor he’s managed to save from your haphazard repairing.

‘You’re afraid of never breaking the cycle,’ you say carefully. You bite your bottom lip. ‘You’re worried that after all this rage, there’s no relief.’

‘Shut up,’ Astarion says.

There is little to no heat in it. You shake your head.

‘You’re afraid the you before Cazador is no longer there,’ you say. ‘And you’re afraid that because I am human, that there’s a ghost of you that comes after me.’

‘Shut up,’ Astarion insists.

‘Kiss me,’ you whisper. You turn to meet his lips.

Astarion presses a sweet kiss to your lips. You cherish it no matter how fleeting the kiss is. The silence, the quiet sorrow. It’s almost worth it for how he gently presses kisses against your temple and into your hair. He will never confess that what you said is true, and you’re almost thankful.

‘My turn,’ you say, clearing your throat. ‘When am I happiest?’

‘When I’m looking at you,’ Astarion says without hesitation.

‘O  — Oh.’

‘You desire a lifetime with me,’ he says with a practiced blasé shrug. ‘And little Astarions of course.’

You flush. ‘Shut up.’

‘And,’ he adds, ‘you’re deathly afraid of spiders.’

He laughs and kisses you again, and you wish you could bottle up the sound in a music box to play it back when you’re feeling lonely. You know what Zethino meant now when she said your bond beat with pleasure. You blossom beneath his careful musings.

‘See? We’re close as can be,’ Astarion murmurs. He rests his chin on your shoulder and brushes his thumb against your thigh. ‘But darling, if we’re going to have a lifetime together, we really must work on your stitching.’

‘Only if you’ll teach me,’ you say.

‘Oh, I’ll be the best teacher you’ve ever had,’ Astarion agrees.

[my-craft]

The King of Carcosa.

Line only version! I think his halo got a little drowned out, you can see it much better in this version

[ibrithir-was-here]

All the Eldritch Monster High Kids together: Helen Vaughn, Wilber Whateley, and Marigold

@see-arcane , thank you again for the wonderful idea of Marigold, “Mean Girl-ing” these three, and the ichor line xD

[inkdemonapologist]

[BatIM Cthulhu AU] A couple of doodles from session two, which UNSETTLED SAMMY A LOT ACTUALLY...

There have been small changes, throughout New York -- doors opening on the wrong side of the street, houses ending up just a block away from where you remembered them -- but the only people who can even tell seem to be those who remember Carcosa. Joey, Sammy, Henry, Jack, Peter, and Norman all experienced the strange shifting realm when a Mardi Gras party attempted to bring dread Carcosa to New Orleans, but Susie wasn't there. She can't see the changes we see, and the entire rest of the city agrees with her. That door was always there? The car was always that colour. That's where I remember the address being before, and there's no record it was ever different.

She trusts what the boys are reporting must be true, that maybe there are changes she can't see or remember, and both she and Sammy are terrified. These are only little things, but as more and more of the city slips into the world of the King in Yellow, what else might be rewritten...?

Anyway EVERYONE'S HAVING A GREAT TIME. If you're here for Out Of Context Quotes from our session, I have some of those too, here, under the cut!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] I love how detective Pete is for a guy who is NOT a detective. [Sammy] He just got assigned that by Joey Drew and now it's true. [Joey] Exactly! That's how it works.

[Sammy] The idea of JDS having its own employed detective is really funny to me. "Why do you need that? You're an animation studio." "Well, you know, things come up,"

[GM] Everybody went home I believe, except Joey went to the Studio, which is like home,

[Sammy] Do we have any plan, other than just go in to work, [Jack] I though you were gonna say "other than go insane"...

[Joey] If Prophet's not the one going for the ink, then why is Sammy going for it?! Do they have a SECOND prophet situation??? [Jack] PROPHET...... TWO!!! [Henry] Prophet 2: Electric Boogaloo [Sammy] *tiredly* We don't need any more Prophets..... We don't need any more Sammys..... we have enough.....

[Jack] You just need to sip some ink and tell them it's the wrong number. Like, you've got the wrong guy. [Henry] New stone, who dis?

[Sammy] It was the false king who called through the ink, not our Lord! [Joey] Interesting... [Joey] Joey's going to ask Bendy if he can... feel this? Is he getting calls? *dad voice* Is someone calling you? Don't put your number on the internet!

[GM] Bendy says he wasn't made to be a receiver the same way Sammy was. [Jack] So technically, it's "New Sam, who dis"!

[Joey] Okay, Joey's going to note this all down in his... Notebook Of Nonsense That Plagues Them,

[GM] I'm choosing to believe that whenever Norman called in, he gave some sort of outlandish excuse, and whoever answered the phone didn't... write it down... [Sammy] Like the heckin', grian excuses-- [Joey] "I'm cutting my grass, with scissors" [Jack] Yeah!! He's cutting his grass! With scissors! In winter!!! [Sammy] And then Sammy's like "Do we know why he called out?" and the receptionist is just like "No We Have NO Idea" [Jack] With the most tired sigh. Second only to Grant.

[GM] Fun fact, Norman would answer the phone. [Sammy] Norman actually was just like, "ohhhhhhh i know THIS is some supernatural bullshit happening, I'm gonna stay home"

[Joey] Joey's going to ask Estelle if he looked like-- and give a vague description of Avedon. [GM] .............................. [GM] She is SO impressed that you knew this. [Joey] *delighted cackling*

[Jack] I love how cute Joey is about this kid. Just like... the cool Bendy Uncle! He's not related at all, but, [Joey] I feel like this is kind of how Joey just gets around kids? Maybe Joey does really want kids, just, y'know, doesn't know how to do it when gay? [Sammy] Obviously that won't happen, so-- [Joey] Yeah, [Sammy] --so then you START AN ANIMATION STUDIO, that's the only other option! [GM] Yeah, then all kids are your kids!

[GM] Alright, you've made many phone calls. [Joey] Yeah, [GM] And you only rudely hung up on one of them!

[Sammy] Sammy can surely track that down; he's used to digging up musicians. [Jack] Jack's there to assist with the Talking to People in a way that makes them want to cooperate with you, and not run in fear!

[GM, speaking for Peter] *lists all of the information Peter's dug up* And that's about what he managed to get, today! [Joey] And nothing weird has been happening... to him? [GM] WELL, OKAY. ABOUT THAT,

[Peter] Could you describe again, the strange person who was at the party? What was that guy like? [Joey] *thinking very hard* Which... strange person...? I mean... Denis was there?

[Norman] Try not to fall in a swamp this time. [Joey] I'll let you know if I find one! [Sammy] There's fewer of those in New York, so, I think we're good. [Jack] I mean, you never know,, [Sammy] ...yeah, that's true..... [Joey] HEY, Joey will let him know if he finds one!!! [Sammy] If LAKE PONCHARTRAIN opens up in the MIDDLE OF NEW YORK CITY, that will certainly be something to let all of our friends know!

[GM] Make a social-type checks to have a word with them beforehand! [Sammy] I don't know, if I should do that,,, [GM] SAMMY can make an Appearance check! [Sammy] *laughing* LETS SEE IF IM HANDSOME ENOUGH to get let in!

[GM] Everybody's like "You guys!" You're greeted with nostalgia, and eagerness! and people are trying to small talk you, I'm guessing Sammy's not going for that. [Sammy] I mean, you can try to small talk.... AT him... [Sammy] He doesn't... y'know... it's like playing a game of catch where you throw the ball to somebody, and they just hold the ball. [Sammy] Like.... okay! [GM] I did the thing! [Sammy] Cool, catch successful. [Jack] No give, only throw!

[Sammy] Look, I was trying to drink ink this morning, so I feel like this is a step up.

[Sammy] Sammy will enjoy it! We should do this more often! [Sammy] "We should do this more often" says man who will always be too busy to do this more often,

[GM] They're impressed that, at a job where there was a gunshot right in front of the stage, the thing you want to ask about is where they sourced their music. [Sammy] I LOVE that Sammy's reputation is such that this makes perfect sense to them.

[GM] His name is Alan Leroy. [Sammy] Okay, Leroy works, because then I'll remember it, because of Leroy Jenkins. [GM] This is what's been going through my head the entire time, too...

[GM] They say he's a crazy-talented musician who blew into town a year or two ago? He's really nice and easy to get along with, and when he really gets going he can make sounds come out of his instrument like you've never heard! [Sammy] These... are all.. compliments that would be really impressive except that they can all be interpreted in really concerning ways.......

[GM] If Jack wants to look harder, he can.......... [Jack] I'm doing it, Jack can make little a bad decision! He hasn't made any yet this season!! [Jack] *rolls* That's an extreme success. How much sanity do I lose!!

[Henry] We're ghost hunters. The, the pale guy is a ghost, we're goin' after him. Ghost hunters. [Henry] ...This is why you don't let Henry lead the conversation!!

[Jack] It's occurring to me that we don't know if this guy is alive??? [Joey] YUP! This is a good time to find out! [Henry] Fun! [GM] When have you EVER gone up to somebody's house and found them dead inside? [Jack] Jack hasn't yet... [Henry] The very first scenario! [Sammy] Yeah it was a pretty bad situation as I recall, we were briefly accused of being involved! [Jack] Maybe you guys. Jack's different, though.

[Joey] We wanted to make sure he was doing alright. .....does that need a Fast Talk roll? [GM] Yeah, I was about to say-- [Joey] *rolls* *STARTS CACKLING* [GM] What did you do, do you roll a three again? [Joey] I DID ROLL A THREE! :D THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I ROLLED! [GM] I thought it was the Three Laugh!

[Henry] Henry is tired. Henry rolled a 93. [GM] Well he's out late, you know, he's a family man! He has normal hours, he hasn't been staying up late, living at the studio for the last few years! [Henry] He's regretting not accepting Joey's offer to just go home. [Joey] *muttering* See, Joey knows best!

[GM] Okay, so you guys notice, right off, that the car isn't there. [Sammy] UM. HM. [Jack] Which car did we take again? [Joey] The Mercedes... [Jack] *relieved* Okay good. [Jack] .... I MEAN, NOT GOOD, BUT...

[Joey] No, no I think it's OUR car... it's just... more yellow now... [Jack] I don't like that that means it's getting yellower... [Joey] ...........................So when do we take the sanity hit? [GM] Yeah, that would be now!

[GM] The woman says she's looking forward to when he has his own ship, and they can sail away together! [Henry] [Henry] ...I'm married,...

[Joey] Joey has his face pressed to the window-- no, he probably has the window down, it doesn't matter how cold it is -- and... CAN the window go down? Hold on. [Joey] *sounds of typing* "Car... door... window... down... history... when."

[Henry] Okay, these dice are BANNED. I rolled a 90! [Jack] What if you subtly replace the dice...? [Sammy] With slighty yellower dice!

[Joey] OKAY! There ARE rolling windows, so Joey does have the window rolled down, and he's intensely watching the colour of the car. [Joey] AND ALSO, he's STILL sitting in the middle seat, he's just going to lean over someone to do this. [Sammy] Ah. It's probably me.

[Jack] No, no, Pete and Jack can get kidnapped later and take some massive sanity damage together. ✨Cute date ideas!✨

[Joey] Joey's going to inform Norman that they're going to come over, they need additional eyes on something, [GM] Well, he's good at keeping eyes on things! [Joey] So they'll be over soon. [Sammy] I like how Norman gets a heads up, but with Peter we just show up at his apartment. [Joey] Exactly! [Jack] That's because Joey's kissed Pete. When Joey and Norman kiss then that's -- not good for Sammy, probably. [GM] At least Pete and Sammy are neutral. Non-reactive. [Sammy] Norman and Sammy are "it's complicated" on Facebook.

[Sammy] Okay, we gotta go get Linda, so Susie's not alone, [Jack] We're just playing "how many NPCs can we force Thren to play at once!" How many can we shove in the back of this car.

[Jack] Jack's gonna get home and find out his cats are different colours, [Sammy] Oh NO, [Jack] Comes back and Beans is a tortie now. [Sammy] Or Beans is just an orange cat, [Jack] Oh no! Her braincells! [GM] She needs those! She has all of them!!

[Joey] Depending on who's the affected party, Susie or them, it is actually useful to have a second, like, [Sammy] Someone to compare with? Yeah. [Henry] We don't know WHO the control group is, but ONE of us is the control group!

[Joey] As trusted as Norman is, he isn't one of Joey's... white-knuckle-clutched-keepsakes of a person,

[Sammy] *sarcastic* Okay, everyone ready to go to sleep? That's not a scary prospect right now, right? That's something that we're all really confident about doing? Cool, that's great. [Henry] Yeah, yeah, that's definitely not gonna, it's gonna go great...! [GM] Nobody's even cut their hand on a slick stone! It's fine! [Henry] NO ONE BETTER CUT THEIR HAND ON A SLICK STONE! We got enough problems!! [Joey] (Looking at you, Prophet!)

[Henry] Is Joey,,, sharing this plan with anyone? [Joey] ouo Has anyone asked him?

[Joey] Let's send Henry then! [Henry] Alright. Send Henry to Carcosa! [Sammy] *exasperated* yeah that's fine.... [Joey] It's not FULLY sending him there! It's just making a connection. [Joey] A little bridge! [Sammy] Uggghhhh... Sammy doesn't think we need any bridges to Carcosa. [Sammy] We've got enough Carcosa. [Sammy] Put some back.

[Sammy] This is what happens When You Give a Joey a Dream Spell.

[Sammy] We can't actually guarantee that New York isn't going to sink. That's not out of the question. [Jack] Is the Joey Drew specialty NOT "promising things that aren't necessarily things you can promise??"

[Henry] Actually, before Henry leaves he's going to give Joey a hug. [Joey] He doesn't get to leave. [Henry] Oh. [Joey] But Joey will take the hug!

[Henry] You know this man gives good hugs. You're getting a good Henry hug. [Jack] Gonna crunch all of Joey's terrible, very bad bones. [Henry] He's gonnna try not to crunch all of Joey's terrible bones! [Henry] But, I dunno. [Henry] Roll for damage.

[GM] The lurker knows this is serious, but he's also excited, because he has heard what a slumber party is from Henry's kids.

[GM] Now it is Friday, the 28th of December. [Sammy] Okay. Cool. Let's all make an effort to not ring in the New Year in Carcosa. That's MY New Year's Resolution: Don't Be In Carcosa.

[darkersoul]

can you talk about the difference between hastur and the king in yellow because i swear every source i look at gives me a different answer on where the line is

This is very complicated on a meta level so here we go:

The King in Yellow was a collection of short stories by Robert W Chambers. In this collection, The King in Yellow is a play that, after reading, invades your life by changing your perception of reality. Characters talk about the character in the play named The King In Yellow.

One character hallucinates being attacked by the King who refers to himself as "The living God." However, this doesn't actually hold too much weight on the King being a god in the original stories, as the entire story where this event happens centers around a singular very religious man and the church he attends.

The name Hastur is mentioned in one passage in the entire book, a list of stars implying that Hastur in the original stories was just meant to be the name of a fictional star. The name itself was borrowed from a story by Ambrose Bierce where Hastur is a benevolent shepherd god.

Moving on to quite a while later, in HP Lovecraft's "The Whisperer in Darkness," the aliens in that story make reference to various elements of the King in Yellow as well as the name Hastur, but once again, there is nothing in this passage indicating that Hastur is a god.

Now we get to Derleth. One of HPL's protoges, Derleth used the name Hastur for a god of his own creation, an octopoid being that lurks in the lake of Hali in the city of Carcosa. Besides the location in which this god lives, Derleth's Hastur has no connection to The King in Yellow.

Finally, we reach the Call of Cthulhu Scenario "Tell Me, Have You Seen The Yellow Sign," in which the author submits that The King in Yellow is an avatar of the Derleth interpretation of the God. And due to the influence the RPG has on the Mythos as a whole, the association stuck.

So, yeah, Hastur and the King in Yellow being the same being happened nearly a century after The King in Yellow was created.

[vintagerpg]

This is Hugh B. Cave’s first hardcover collection, Murgunstrumm and Others (1978). It won him a World Fantasy Award! Cave is sort of overlooked, a hugely prolific writer that got started in the pulp era. I am not real familiar with his work beyond this collection, which is…extremely effective? Cave isn’t particularly original, he’s pretty much putting his own spin on standard supernatural pulp tropes. But what a spin! This guy could write and maintain painfully taut atmosphere, Nearly every story has a disjointed, nightmarish quality.

Lee Brown Coye, a mainstay illustrator of Arkham House books, provides all the fantastically moody art. His famous sticks are here in large numbers. My understanding is that this was his last completed work before a debilitating stroke, but you wouldn’t know he was in decline judging from the work — it’s as crisp and clean and haunting as anything else in his career.

The book was published by Carcosa, an imprint run by David Drake and Karl Edward Wagner. Its one of only four books they put out (the others are an E. Hoffman Price collection and two Manly Wade Wellman collections). I wish they kept at it, they made lovely books!

[thecreaturecodex]

The Great Game: Outer Gods and Great Old Ones

As the deities that are most physically tied to the Material Plane, it is perhaps unsurprising that the various entities collected together as “Outer Gods” and “Great Old Ones” have been paying attention to the Great Game. The allegiances of some of the prominent members of these pantheons are as follows:

Abhoth The Unclean God is patron of disease and fecundity, and knows how these two things are tied together. More are born than can survive, and many of those that die fall to disease before anything else. As such, Abhoth is well versed in ecology, and knows that Lamashtu is overpopulating Golarion with her monsters. Abhoth’s followers seek to spread plagues among monstrous species in order to keep their numbers down, and as such, Mormo counts Abhoth as an ally.

Azathoth The Primal Chaos does not seem to have noticed the Great Game, or much of anything that has happened on Golarion in centuries. This is probably for the best. If any of his attention were to be turned onto the conflict, it could easily become a disaster for both parties…something that Nyarlathotep is hoping for, and working to make happen.

Bokrug The Water Lizard fondly remembers Mormo from before the evolution of true mammals, and they have hunted and sparred together and even mated in the past. Bokrug may be difficult to rouse from his slumber, but his ire is terrible when provoked, and is likely to be directed at the followers of Lamashtu.

Cthulhu The Dreamer in the Deep has dreamt of Golarion, and one or two of his star-spawn have come there. But he cares not for the Great Game; he has his own stars that need to be right once again. A star-spawn of Cthulhu is a dangerous agent of its own right, and one more likely to support Lamashtu than Mormo.

Hastur The King in Yellow respects Lamashtu and her ravenous appetites. Although he has his own plans to absorb chunks of Golarion, or the whole world if he can, into the Nightmare Kingdom of Carcosa, he is at least nominally on the Mother of Monster’s side. As long as their cultists can keep sharing the same sybaritic festivities.

Ithaqua Ithaqua is more concerned with consuming anyone on either side that he can sink his talons into. The Wind Walker is slightly more favorably minded towards Lamashtu than Mormo, but any relationship between their cults is likely to be a tenuous one that could break down into ravenous hunger at any point.

Mhar Mhar wants off of Golarion. He sees a change in the status quo as the best way of achieving that goal, and is resentful of lamia clerics of Lamashtu for helping Karzoug the Runelord to build a palace on his surface and deface him. Mhar’s release would likely be devastating for Mormo’s goals of making Golarion a richer and more diverse ecosystem. But on the other hand, volcanic ash and lava rock makes for excellent fertilizer, and his eruption might not be as destructive as he hopes it will be.

Nhimbaloth As a devourer of souls and a corrupter of wild things, Nhimbaloth is an ally of Lamashtu. Of course, she does respect Mormo’s goals of eating Lamashtu as a fellow apex predator. But Nhimbaloth thinks that the Goddess of Predators is too arrogant and needs to be taken down a peg. Nhimbaloth would happily eat Mormo herself if given half a chance, and for that reason, Mormo keeps a wide berth of Nhimbaloth’s home world, Voidbracken.

Nyarlathotep The Crawling Chaos is delighted by this galaxy spanning conflict, and on the surface is playing both sides. Lamashtu is his real dog in the fight, as he views Lamashtu as being more likely to lead Golarion to ruin, cracking open and releasing Rovagug. That would be a fun show to watch, seeing how the Rough Beast would react after eons of imprisonment. The Mask of Nyarlathotep that is most actively involved is the Black Pharaoh, whose cults are pushing technological advances into the hands of demon cultists and dangerous maneaters.

Orgesh The Faceless God is technically on Lamashtu’s side, although not by any direct aiding or abetting. Orgesh wants to fight Mormo himself. And is sending his chardra to pick fights with her worshipers, and is gunning for her most powerful servitors himself, in the hopes of getting Mormo’s attention. Worst case scenario, Orgesh will be killed and be able to respawn on another planet. Unless Mormo gets sick of his interference, and starts doing research on a way to kill him for real before setting her sights higher.

Shub-Nugganoth* The Goat of the Woods views Lamashtu as a kindred spirit, and the two of them have indeed collaborated on the spawning of horrors in the past. They are doing so again, notably through the personage of one of the Goat’s most powerful mortal worshipers in Avistan, a fleshwarping-obsessed alchemist named Doctor Agatha Shiny. Doctor Shiny and her creations are actively hunting down Mormo’s allies in order to transform them into blasphemous horrors, or just murder them.

Tsathoggua Saint Toad knows what it’s like to be forgotten and abandoned. He is a supporter of Mormo, if only because she’s the underdog in this fight, and Tsathoggua has a soft spot for underdogs, as much as he would deny that. Mormo knows that the Father of Night is a fickle and somewhat dangerous ally, so doesn’t rely on his help, but does appreciate his guidance and wisdom.

Yig The Father of Serpents calls Mormo “sister”, and the Goddess of Predators calls Yig “brother” in return. This may be an actual genealogical relationship, it may not be. But Yig is among Mormo’s closest allies, and the two are active collaborators. Those colonies of serpentfolk who worship Yig are hotspots for burgeoning cults of Mormo, as they see the two ophidian Old Ones as a way to reclaim some of the lost glory of the Age of Serpents without relying on the increasingly unstable Ydersius.

Yog-Sothoth The Key and the Gate views things on a vast, cosmic scale, even more than the other Outer Gods. As such, the safety and long term stability of the galaxy is his highest priority (after all, it has to collide with another galaxy in approximately 1.2 billion years, and then enough of it has to be around to decay into degenerate matter as the universe shifts past its stelliferous era. So anything that dramatically accelerates that process, or might get large portions of the galaxy pulled out of the Material Plane altogether, are not ideal outcomes for Yog-Sothoth. As such, he supports Mormo, but is doing so in a subtle way—opening portals in the right places, weakening planar boundaries—rather than sending his children to fight en masse.

*This is the name I am going to be using for that particular Outer God in the future. Clearly the same entity that has been developed into a character by Mythos authors over the last 100 years, but doesn't have a racist slur built into the name.

[drowningparty]

I have some thoughts re: Kayne / godhood (spoilers for intermezzo)

I don't think Kayne respects any of the other gods. He definitely doesn't respect the King in Yellow, he knocked him over the head w/ an oversized mallet to give him amnesia and stuck him in Arthur's head and reduced the Dreamlands to "a lawless waste" for a laugh. He also destroyed his city for the hell of it. He doesn't fucking care. He's rude to John, ignores him, says 'Arthur' when referring to both of them. I thought I noticed this undercurrent of quiet animosity, but felt vindicated during 40 + Intermezzo b/c he was suddenly soooooo loud! Ignoring & talking over John? Check. Telling him he's not special like Arthur? Check. Saying he'll torture him worse than Arthur just because he can? Check. My theory is it's b/c John's still a god, technically. Like the whole, choosing your own name + path... you'd think would be something Kayne could sympathize with (as much as Kayne can feel sympathy), but...........no. He knows John is easier to manipulate w/ fear (he can send him back to the Dark World w/ a snap of his fingers), and saves his faux sympathy for Arthur.

I think this is b/c he likes humans. Sure, he also likes killing them, but I don't think those impulses are mutually exclusive. Kayne's the most "human" of the gods we've met. He talks like a human, makes pop culture references, looks passingly human, etc. I think he envies them, in a way? They have a freedom I think he lacks as a god, even though they are confined to one timeline. We still don't fully understand how gods work, but from his description alone it sounds like he thinks of them as limited. They have incredible power compared to mortals, they exist outside the piano... but are confined to a single key. Which sounds to me like their path is predetermined and they're not intended to develop free will. Kayne's an anomaly b/c he does, or tries to.

He wants to put humans in an antfarm, perhaps as a demonstration of his free will. That's all Carcosa was, right? An antfarm. He wanted to play godzilla, smash the ants. Arthur's another ant in a different farm, and he watched his entire life play out across several verses to try to figure him out. What makes him unique is he dies in every other verse. Kayne can't figure out what makes this Arthur so special that he survives when all the others don't, but it implies he did something right with his free will, that this version is an "anomaly" like Kayne. He respects that, b/c it means this version of Arthur has done the same thing he has: taken control of their narrative. Even Kayne choosing his own name is an example of that. Becoming Kayne, rejecting the title Nyarlathotep and all the baggage that comes with it, the expectation to be what his father wants, a messenger for the outer gods (although he may still want that, I expect whatever his intentions are re: the Black Stone, they're his, not Azathoth's).

Arthur is usually a mirror for character's to see their humanity reflected, but instead of seeing his humanity (b/c he has none), Kayne looks at Arthur and sees himself. Which... surprised me? He seems so confident in his godhood, I thought he just viewed Arthur as his fave toy or human, like even in the S4 finale I found it hilarious how he kept going: "why can't you all just be more like Arthur???" apropo of.....nothing, but he didn't treat him like someone he identified with, so it caught me off-guard when he compared himself to Arthur, but that's big for a god! and I think it supports my thesis he envies humans for their freedom. Their roles aren't as "established" as a god's. Humans have free will, something he had to kill every other version of himself to gain. Even then, I think absorbing his alts (???) or whatever he did after killing them to become more powerful fucked him up, may have driven him mad if he wasn't already when he started this exercise in defending-himself-from-ever-getting-deleted, like he doesn't sound okay when he's talking to himself.

TLDR: Kayne thinks Arthur's special b/c he lived, when all the other Arthur's in Kayne's Arthur-Killing-Experiment died! (: Kayne can't figure out why, but he likes not knowing why. He likes humanity b/c of their freedom, b/c he's a chaos god who wants as much freedom as possible. And he's aware gods are fallible, they can be deleted, which takes all the romance out of godhood. Kayne's the most powerful god we've met b/c he's taken steps to emulate humanity's free will, the thing that makes Arthur "special," but what makes Arthur "hard to see" is probably his humanity. As much as Kayne likes humanity, I don't think it's something he can truly understand, which is why he enjoys sticking humans full of pins and trying.

I think it's neat Malevolent prizes humanity over godhood. Even gods seem to value humanity over godhood. John wants to become human. Yellow wants acceptance from a human. I think Kayne holds humans in higher esteem than gods. Those who look down on humans or try to 'ascend' and leave behind their humanity, like Larson, are clearly in the wrong. It's not seen as a weakness to be human, and even the parts of humanity that are usually written off as a weakness (our rage, grief, violence, desperation, etc...) are viewed as strengths in Malevolent, and I fucking love that about this show.

Anyway, I'll, uhh, shut up now.

[cannibalcaprine]

Yeah! The first use of the name Hastur was as a benevolent god of shepherds in Ambrose Bierce's "Haita the Shepherd." Chambers picked up the name and used it in a litany of stars in one of the original TKiY stories (I believe that's in The Yellow Sign, specifically, but don't quote me on that). Then HPL used the name, then Derleth used the name for a monster at the bottom of Lake Hali, then the CoC RPG said "Hastur is the true name of The King in Yellow."

huh

i actually really like that idea

Hastur once being some benevolent sheep-god to the people of Carcosa, before the cannibalization of Yhtill that mangled the city beyond recognition on a metaphysical level

and when it was all but complete, the sheep-god was vaulted from the fields beyond the city walls into its throneroom, donning the epithet of the King in Yellow like the masquerade it imposed on the city

it wears a mask that is now its true face, it wears curling black horns of a ram on its crown in mockery of its past lowliness

the lands beyond the city decayed

Hastur is long dead, the King in Yellow is its eternally starving cicada-husk

[versegm]

Yooo how about Director's Cut on The One from Carcossa? Give me the downlow on awkward shadow roommate and hand licking lol

I SWEAR I DIDN'T REALIZE I WROTE SO MUCH HAND LICKING

God. This might get kinda long, lemme add a readmore right away.

As you can guess from the title, I wrote this after going insane over The King In Yellow for a couple weeks or so. Unfortunately I have since actually read the king in yellow and they're not nearly as good as the five wikipedia pages I dived through made it sound, but it was still a very fun time to write.

It was also very much inspired by the general concept of "the monster under your bed." You guys have that too right? Like, children's urban legends or whatever?

It's also a pretty old story, I think I wrote it in 2020-ish? But I think it still hold up well.

The monster in the story is named Cahors, which is the name of a french town. I picked that name because the King In Yellow has a running theme of characters with names starting in Ca- (Cassilda, Camilla) and I wanted to keep it going. The human is named Neha, after a friend I had at the time I wrote that story (Neha, if you're reading this somehow, hi! Hope you're doing well! :D) Neha also has a blink and you'll miss it cameo in May The Moon Shine Upon Camlann, as a treat. To myself.

Carcosa's writing system is based on qipus btw.

About ten years ago or so I followed writingprompt dot tumblr dot com, and one of the prompt was thus: the apocalypse happens, you are the last survivor, and one day you find a message that reads "last one up turns off the light," with no other purpose to your life, you decide to do that. For some reason, it struck me.

I don't actually remember for sure, but I think my reasoning behind that bit was to showcase why Cahors affectionates post-apoc stories specifically. It's their way to cope with the fact that their world ended.

Ok so this story was originally meant to be erotica, and this would be the big sexy showdown, but I found it flowed better without the sex. This is actually a recurring issue with my writing when I set off to write porn. It is unfortunate.

LOOK I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. THAT WAS THE FATEST WAY I COULD THINK OF TO LINK INTIMACY, TRUST, AND REALLY HAMMER HOME THAT CAHORS DOES NOT LOOK OR FEEL HUMAN.

Very largely inspired by this piece of art that lives rent-free in my head.

I'm just really proud of this bit :)

I really wanted to do a callback to that one other scene in the middle of the story. I'm glad I pulled it off!

The story initially had another line about Cahors using their mask to extinguish the lights, but multiple people told me they thought it was confusing, so I removed it. It works better this way I think.

And there you go! Mostly it was me fucking around with worldbuilding and monster biology as you can guess.

[petit-etoile]

Congrats on 200 followers! :D For drabble ideas, how about one where Tav is becoming overwhelmed from being the leader of their group and they end up having a bit of a breakdown in camp, so Astarion whisks them away and dotes on them for the evening to help soothe some of their worries.

i  am  tired  of  being  brave

pairing: astarion/tav wordcount:  1,036 content warnings: none other tags: canon compliant, introspection, character study, idiots in love, established relationship, gender neutral tav, human!tav archiveofourown: here.

tag list: @azrielshadows1nger, @pandimoostuff, @faevi, @microskies, @foreverthemaraudersera, @queenofthespacesquids, @claryvoyantfray, @6doodlaang14, @anne-isnotokay, @itshimbotime, @yeeteth-the-raven, @sessils,@8-opossums, @worryknotdear, @abirdaboxandachippedcup, be added to the taglist here

summary: All you want is to get away from everything. Astarion indulges you.

‘Enough!’ you shout.

Lae’zel and Shadowheart have the decency to look properly chagrined when they peer over at you, frozen as if turned to stone. Shadowheart’s knife dips underneath Lae’zel’s chin, but the pretense of applied pressure goes away. You have no idea what hour it is or how long they’ve been going at it but the little patience you have snaps like a fine thread.

‘We have only gotten this far because we trust each other,’ you snap at them, pulling your nightshirt tighter around your shoulders. ‘But if you want to ruin that, leave me out of it!’

In what is likely the silliest mistake to make, you turn around and march to your bedroll to pick up your hunting knife and then march beyond the outskirts of camp  —  beyond Halsin and Jaheira and Gale and Wyll and Karlach, and Withers who seems to be musing over the situation with faint interest.

If Shadowheart and Lae’zel want to fight to the death, let them! You’ve done all that you can to get the group this far. You’re tired, you’ve been woken up two nights in a row, and you’ve had it with the drama.

You plunge yourself through the nearest bush you can find and sit next to running water, your arms pulled across your chest to keep the breeze from chilling you to the bone. You’re miserable beneath the moonlight. You can’t remember the last time you’ve slept more than four hours.

You almost doze off in the underbrush beneath a tree, but then there’s a hand sliding over your mouth and a body behind yours, somehow wedged behind you once your eyes closed. You gasp and try to reach for your knife, but Astarion tuts and continues sliding between you and the tree. It would be annoying if you weren’t relieved it was him. You relax back against him despite the feeling that your heart is going to leap out of your throat.

‘You shouldn’t fall asleep in the woods,’ Astarion warns you. ‘There are terrible beasts that have made this place their hunting ground.’

You shiver. ‘I didn’t mean to fall asleep,’ you say. ‘I just needed to get away.’

He hums. ‘Did something happen back at the camp?’

It doesn’t do any good to keep secrets, and your other companions had already witnessed it. You tell Astarion about Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s never ending fight. It doesn’t make sense to keep attacking one another, especially since the Artefact is the only reason the worms haven’t burrowed deeper into your skulls. It wears you down every day to keep making decisions for everyone when there are people with better experience. Everyone looks to you no matter how much you wish they’d look elsewhere. You never wanted this fellowship to hang on your every word. You just wanted allies.

‘It’s hardly fair,’ Astarion agrees. ‘To have the weight of this…Absolute sitting on your shoulders. I can’t imagine what it must be like to wrangle us all into cohabitation.’

‘Some discomforts are easier to resolve than others,’ you say. ‘It was easy making everyone throw their stakes away.’

‘I’m fairly certain Wyll kept his,’ Astarion snorts.

‘Yes, but he doesn’t wake us all up holding it at your neck,’ you say, elbowing him. ‘They don’t have to become friends or lovers or anything of the sort. They just have to get along until we arrive at Baldur’s Gate.’

Baldur’s Gate still seems so very far away. Acknowledging this drags you down more than you wish it to. You’re tired of walking and fighting and lying your way out of every other conflict. You miss your family and your life before the worm. The only good that’s come of it is Astarion. He lets you lounge on him when you please in exchange for some blood, and…

It’s more than that.

Astarion lets you do whatever the hell you please as long as it doesn’t annoy him. You’re free to nap in his tent or sit at his side while he reads, and he’s even allowed you to style his delicate curls with pomade. He lets you kiss him if you ask, holds your hand. If you asked him to kill someone for you, you’re certain he would without question.

Reluctantly, you sit forward. ‘I should probably head back,’ you admit. ‘I should make sure everyone is still alive.’

‘To the hells with it,’ Astarion disagrees. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you back. ‘You close your eyes and sleep. Let them come looking for us if it troubles them that much.’

‘And if Shadowheart kills Lae’zel?’

‘I’m almost certain Lae’zel would win,’ he says. ‘But, I have no doubt they’ll behave. You, on the other hand, are being naughty.’

You laugh but you do as you're told. You worm further in the roots and lean back against him. It’s chilly, but having someone else there does wonders for how willing you are to fall asleep. It’s almost nice how secluded you are away from the drama and stress. You almost wish you were a vampire so that you could sneak out and use hunting as an excuse.

The respect for all you do is nice. Sure, Halsin and Jaheira have both commended you for how hard you work for your age, but it isn’t the same. You still stand in the middle of camp trying to handle things on your own. The planning, the decisions. They somehow fall on your shoulders. A little more input would be nice, or a sign from a god that you’re doing the right thing. You try not to think about it as you feel sleep edge toward your consciousness. Astarion hums softly in your ear, and though it’s uneven, you can’t help but think it’s so off-tune that it’s lovely.

You yawn so hard your jaw pops, and Astarion hushes you, kissing idly behind your ear. It lulls you into an ease you haven’t experienced for a while. You melt into the touch. If you could purr, you would.

‘This,’ Astarion says, ‘is what you deserve. To relax here in my arms. Sleep now, and we’ll deal with what shall come in the morning.’

[reds-writings]

Hey!!! I wanted to start this out by saying that your writings for Rust has been nothing short of amazing ! There aren't enough fics out there for Rust, and yours have honestly been getting me through it.

Now, idk if this is the type of ask you were looking for, but with Old Man Rust, especially when he was in Alaska all that time- I've always wondered the details about his time out there (besides the obvious/what we already know). I mean- it's Rust we're talking about, and that poor tortured man...it couldn't have been great.

I know he spent most of his childhood up there alone with his father and such, but this time around? After everything happened? I've always assumed his self-isolation was probably at the highest it'd ever been, especially with how he talked about it.

Idk- I've always wanted to know his thoughts/feelings about so many different scenes/things within the show, but this is definitely one of the biggest ones. Even if you relate it to the jj universe- I think adding a partner adds layers to my curiosity on his experience/thoughts/feelings. I know when you answered that fluff prompt ask, them being away from each other for all that time was talked about; he still loves her very much, and is incredibly troubled about all of it.

Anyways! I feel like I've gotten a bit carried away, so I'll stop before I keep going 💀. You definitely don't need to feel obligated to respond or spend time on this, but know that your contribution to the true detective community on here is greatly appreciated 🥺.

Howdy! I love this ask!! The more detailed the more fun! And thank you so much for the love ahhh!!

(this will include some spoilers ahead for the JJ universe pls don't kill me lol)

I love the dissection of Rust's reasoning for returning to Alaska, of all places, after the big fight of 02. My fave idea being that he did it as a form of self-punishment for taking part in hurting his only companions in Louisiana. Applying these events to the JJ universe: the incident with Maggie will still be taking place sadly. But hear me out!!!!

In 02 with the resurgence of the Yellow King/Carcosa Rust easily found himself obsessively spiraling back into the Dora Lange case. With all the frustration and lack of support from the department (and Marty), he resorts back to nastier habits and ways of regarding those around him with JJ!Reader unfortunately being in the crossfire more often than not. It places a heavy strain on the relationship to the point where she reaches a breaking point bc tbh he is not being a very good partner at all (stress and frustration can only be an excuse for so long). They break up with her telling him to practically get it together if he wants them to ever continue but of course, shit just spirals more out of control with his hurt and anger so of course it reaches its crescendo with him having to quit then Maggie using their incredible emotional vulnerability to an advantage which he ends up regretting immediately of course because even if he's not currently with JJ!Reader it's no less of a pathetic form of betrayal.

When the fight goes down and he loses Marty it's one thing. Seeing the reader and the tie between them being severed completely with no one else but himself to blame is just about as close to dying as he'll get in that moment. He shit on her trust once and for all and took a friend from her in the process. He knows that there can be no forgiveness even if he were to beg with whatever last bit of reverence he had or sell his sorry soul.

Alaska is a bitterly lonely time for him and from tidbits he mentions in the show he didn't do much to change that loneliness while he was away. Circling back to before I think it was his way of extreme penance and if it weren't for another resurgence in the case he would've probably let himself die there alone with all the drinking/carelessness and wouldn't have had it in him to feel sorry about it if it happened.

Coming back to Louisiana things have changed plenty with Marty, Maggie, and the reader. I think the way he prioritizes his crumbled relationship with Marty (for both the case's sake and his) versus how he passively regards Maggie in the bar will forever be interesting to me. I feel like he'd be scared as hell to even come near the reader knowing she still harbors hatred and pain but Marty the Meddler drags her back in because he knows the two will never be able to truly stay away from each other. It takes a lot and the relationship may never be exactly what it once was but he'd selfishly rather have her near in some capacity than never at all once he's gotten a taste of her presence after so many years. I can't wait to write all that angst and yearning bc we love tension 🤭

Now that was a ramble omg! Hopefully, I didn't stray too off course!

[mellowwillowy]

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐬𝐚

Soft Yan! Gods x GN! Reader

ANGST (Reader died but there's a bit comfort by the ending) Remember, everyone is humanized and depicted in my own view so obviously, they are very OOC. You don't have to understand everyone's origin (like me) to be able to read this.

"𝑯𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒊𝒕?"

“𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺.”

-Hastur

--

"Hastur, please, bring me along to Carcosa."

You tugged on his yellow cloak, eyes shimmered in numerous stars of hope that could even outshine the cosmic. The man only pinched his temple, eyebrows furrowed with the same answer repeated.

"No."

“Why? It’s not like I’m there to destroy the whole city! I’m only there to gaze upon its intricate beauty!”

“You are quite the persistent one for someone who knows how to word it out innocently.”

Hastur paid no mind to you and continued his stride to his chamber. You followed behind him like a sheep herded by the shepherd. Still unwilling to give up, you jumped in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.

“But Hastur! Why am I not allowed to? The others could so why couldn’t I?”

His patience grew thinner, his eyebrows evident. His hands went to hold you still in place, “Who exactly is anyone?” His hold tightened a bit, but he was careful enough with it to not hurt you, “The sacrificial lambs? Do you want to be one of them too?” His eyes darkened a bit as though the gold had been covered in dust. You whimpered from his tightening grip, you could feel your eyes watering.

“But you can just bring me there without having to turn me into one no?”

“You can’t even maintain your sanity and form around us in this world, let alone in our world, my city! I can even ask you to jump down and die now!”

He wasn’t wrong, an anomaly had happened to you. You were no longer capable of using your immortal form for you were only a mortal out of a sudden. You who were able to live freely without the fear of dying were no longer immune to threats. Purifying yourself to maintain your sanity around the other cosmic creatures was also tough for you, it wasn’t rare for you to suffer from a breakdown when you failed to purify yourself against them.

“… But I want to see where Hastur spends most of his time, I want to see the place you live!”

“And you can’t even stand next to me for a moment without having to purify your internals!” His grip tightened as his voice grew louder. It seemed like he had reached his limit of patience.

“I can! If Cassilda can then why can’t I? Are you scared that I might get all green on her again?”

You tried your best to remain calm and act like how usually do, slipping jokes every now and then. But you could feel your internal organs started to fail to function as you failed to collect your mind to purify yourself against him.

“Cassilda? Is she even still alive? No, is Leviathan still alive inside of you? Are the seven sins even still inside you?!”

“Why does that matter? I just want to visit Carcosa! All you have to do is bring me there!”

“Why,” His grip started to hurt you,” are you,” you whimpered at his strength, “always so persistent of what you want?!”

“I’d… rather.. not die.. in vain.,… hurts..” Your pleas did not reach his ear as he was too clouded by rage.

“Why are you always so insistent?! Always showing your neck to be taken for granted to hell? You are no longer immortal, you are stuck in the body of a mortal, can’t you understand that?! Why are you always so-“

“Hastur, you are hurting me!”

Hastur immediately jolted out from his daze, his hands raised away from your arms, his eyes wide from shock at what he had done. You tried your best to not let any tears slip out of your eyes but the grip hurt you more than you expected.

“Hastur, you idiot!” You ran away from him with both of your legs. Had it been the usual you, you would have levitated and dispersed into the air with the scent of flowers filling everyone’s nostrils. Hastur clenched his fist, his long bottled conscience battling of whether he should chase you and clear everything or not.

It chose to not.

--

“Woah, baby! Wait, wait, wait, no! You are bawling like a baby!” Yeb caught you before you bumped into him, running blindly as you tried to purify everything inside of you before your whole organs failed to function. Nug’s eyes did not leave you, you could feel it despite your eyes being unable to see anything.

“… crying, what happened?” It was evident that he wasn’t one who was good at managing and understanding emotions, let alone handling someone who was having a breakdown. Your hand went to reach one of the twins, you were not sure who you had your hold on.

“Can you two walk me to my chamber? I feel like half of my head is going to split open..” Your other hand clutched them tightly, while the other clutched your head, you felt like you were about to burst it open to make it feel better. The twins nodded to each other, the whole walk was filled with Yeb's endless chattering, trying to relieve some of your pain with Nug trying to find a shortcut to reach your chamber. The Capital of Life was a cruel place for one who could only walk and not levitate.

Upon reaching your room, you were put to bed immediately, just before they were about to leave, your voice stopped them in their track.

“Please, sing for me…” You tried your best to talk, but you could feel your voice getting hoarser. You didn't want to die without any comfort given to you. You knew your time was up, and you really wished you could finally visit Carcosa.

Nug looked at Yeb, his head shaking a No so hard that Yeb cackled.

“Looks like Nug can’t sing, How about I sing for you instead?”

You did not care who’d sing, you just wanted to hear, to feel accompanied.

“Please, sing me to sleep” Nug sat next to you, his hands holding yours while Yeb sat on the other side of the bed, clearing his throat while wiping the sweats on your forehead, “Of course, dove.”

--

Your body felt heavy. You couldn’t lift your eyelids no matter how hard you tried to. Limbs? You couldn’t even feel them. Did you perhaps suffer from a false purification? No, it felt too… familiar. You tried to channel your whole mind into your eyes, to lift your eyelids but you could only lift one, your right eye.

“… ceiling..”

You continued to channel it onto your arms and yet only your right arm was connected, with only limited movements. All of these felt too familiar. It almost felt like this was no longer the body you had moments ago, but rather, the body you had aeons ago.

“… Nu..g … Yeb…. Nug… Yeb…” You called out to them, you tried your best to scream but all you could was nothing close to a whisper. You pursed your lip before opening it again, still hopeful for someone to hear and save you….

“Yog… Aza…   Nyarl…. Cthulhu… someone…”

You suddenly felt half of your body burning but you couldn’t do anything to ease it down, your head felt like it was bursting open.

“he…lp…”

It didn’t take too long until it was no longer able to feel anything. It felt dead as though it was rotting.

“… Has… tur…”

Your eye did not leave the ceiling above you, “… Chen..”

--

“Hastur, hand them over”

Your fragment was placed in a glass box, Everyone had tried their best to re-live you but none succeeded. Your body was first found by Nug who sneaked away, worried about your well-being. You were found with your eyes staring into the distance that was limited by the ceiling above you. Unable to see you in that state, he shut your eyelid down.

Times had passed and everyone reached the conclusion that you could no longer be brought back, leaving only a piece of a fragment of you. The fragment was not brimming with light unlike the usual fragments they saw, it was dead and dim.

“… No. I will be bringing them to Carcosa with me”

“No, we will be throwing it into the pit of the Capital, can you not just listen to us?” Cthulhu stepped front, his hand pushed Hastur by his shoulder.

“… No, their last wish was to be in Carcosa, can’t you all respect their wish?”

“Carcosa? Don’t even think about making it their final resting place, you are clearly outnumbered vote-wise.” Yeb spat through his gritted teeth, his fists clenched.

Hastur had enough time to think. Even if he had to make himself an enemy out of the others, he wouldn’t mind that. Nug did not join the others, still in shock with what happened to you. He did not vote for any of the two places as well, all he wished was that you could somehow return by miracle and certainty.

‘Nug, what does Carcosa look like?’

Your voice rang in his head. That was your last question to him. This determined everything, he chose to have you rest in Carcosa. Nug stood and walked toward Hastur.

“Go, now.”

“What?!” Yeb yelled toward his brother. Just before he could do anything, he helped Hastur run away through his own portal.

“Their last wish,” ‘I wonder how the black stars shone like too,’ “was to see Carcosa with their eyes!”

Everything was decided too fast, leaving almost everyone stunned in shock before they could do anything to prevent it.

--

Hastur walked toward the lake, his hands carrying your fragment as he showed you around.

“And we have arrived at our last destination, the Lake of Hali. Worry not, I won’t let you join the others down there.”

Hastur raised his arms, clasping his hands before letting the fragment fly into the sky.

“You’ll be surrounded by the stars so that you will never feel lonely.”

Hastur eyes were dim until he saw something lighting the dim city.

𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒆,

‘Ahahaha! Hastur! Look at the stars! They are so beautiful!’

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒄𝒊𝒓𝒄𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒆𝒔,

‘Ohh! Twin Moons! It’s been a while since I saw a place that has twin moons!’

𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒔

‘Hastur,’

𝑳𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒂.

‘Good night.’

Your illuminated figure hugged him before you finally dispersed. For the first time, a white star appeared in the sky.

“I’ll show you my dream.”

--- 𝙻𝚘𝚐 𝙴𝚗𝚍

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬:

The last lines are cut of the lyrics from 'Cassilda's Song'.

A Guide to Reoccurring Characters, Hastur was the one under the spotlight here, Nug and Yeb were the supporting characters with Nug showing up more than Yeb (this time), and other Gods were only mentioned briefly.

The 'Good Night' line is inspired by Baby in Yellow's game where Hastur said that in one of the endings, Hastur also said 'I'll show you my dream' in the game and I can't help but write it down!

What is the Capital of Life? Since I only gathered some of the deities, it was kind of awkward for me to make the setting somewhere in the cosmic. I decided to turn them into some sort of 'Guests' and that was also the reason why everyone was getting along because they were not in their respective universes, worlds, and places.

[attollogame]

I am but one of your readers, I wanted to voice my appreciation for your story. I remember seeing your posts about the Carcosa website and Sussuro magazine, when I first discovered Attollo years ago. Though I love your characters, I've been enamored with every little bit of lore and workdbuilding that you reveal ever since then, either through reading the story or the blog here <3 I know from experience that taking long breaks doesn't feel productive, but please don't strain yourself if writing/posting brings more preoccupation than relief c:

Oh goodness, you've been around quite a while (that was back in 2021)!! Thank you for sticking around for so long, and for the kind words that you've offered here <3

[superchat]

there was one persons interpretation of what this visualization is and it hit me so hard i think about it a lot

spoilers under the cut. ill be brief (if i can help it) and keep it pretty cut and dry without much flowery imagery (if i can help it) but whoever reads it can take the pieces and put them together and fill the gaps in with humanity

the various paintings of "isle of the dead" flash through elster

ALSO though the isle of life. (important)

a word that is IN the game is "carcosa" but the word is redacted in every mention of it. users only found it due to datamining.

"carcosa" is a term used in the "king in yellow", and a short story "an inhabitant of carcosa" which was inspired by a poem called "carcassonne". in the short story, there is an ancient, abandoned and ruined city called carcosa and the person wandering it is dead who used to live there. they forgot they were dead and forgot what the city was. until they see their own tombstone and then they remember. the story brings out themes of unfamiliarity, longing, contemplations of death, home

there was a promise made. (did elster make a promise? was it a promise they made to each other? either way.) elster at this moment remembers the promise.

the isle of the dead can very easily be interpreted to be "carcosa". a longing for death, to move on. to be at peace.

elster is bringing that to ariane. bringing her carcosa, her promise. there are several moments that present elster as the ferryman who carries souls from life to death. elster is bringing death to ariane (as was their promise?)

but there can be more to it than that. elster herself, is arianes carcosa. someone dear to her, someone special and someone who is home for her. elster is making her way back to ariane so they can be together (as was their promise?) remember, the isle of life painting ALSO flashes in elster,

maybe their promise was that they would never leave eachothers side. or that they would die together, or that ariane wouldnt suffer. or maybe that neither would suffer. maybe it was a promise to take care of eachother and be there to finish things for the other when time came. or that no matter how bad things got, theyd be with eachother.

but i absolutely LOVE the dynamic as framing elster as the harbinger of death for ariane but also as a harbinger of peace and comfort for ariane. she wants to die, but. she wants elster too. if she could live in peace and comfort with elster. i dont think shed want to die. but she cannot live in peace or comfort. in every sense, elster is her carcosa, and in that moment, elster remembers.