#the text at the bottom is also kind of a test

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

'I should really sketch something other than Scarlet Briar expressions,' I say to myself continuing to sketch nothing except Scarlet Briar expressions (and exactly one thorny mordremified hand)

[kingkatsuki]

— miscommunication

Based on this silly little post I made here. With inspiration from @/oooohno💕 basically Sakura can’t fathom anyone could ever like him like that.

Pairing: Sakura Haruka x f!reader.

Warnings: none, a little angsty, Sakura is bad at feelings.

Word Count: 2.9k.

You always feared getting your heart broken someday, you just hadn’t imagined it would happen like this. Sakura had always been kind to you, ever since you’d been introduced to him through Tsubakino. It was one of the many reasons why you found yourself falling for him. It had been impossible not to, and you’d spent the majority of the time working up the courage to finally ask him out. Convinced by the fact that Tsubaki had guaranteed he would say yes.

“He’d be a fool not to like you,” He said, glancing at you through his reflection in the small compact he carried with him. Giving you a reassuring wink as he applied a fresh layer of engine red lipstick, “You won’t know unless you try.”

But maybe you were the biggest fool of all because you definitely hadn’t expected Sakura Haruka to leave you standing alone in the middle of the park wearing a pretty sundress. An excruciating pain ruminated beneath your ribcage as you tried to fight back the ache of rejection.

The first step had been the most difficult— working up the courage to ask for his number. It seemed awkward to ask for it straight up, but you also didn’t want to just get it off Tsubaki in case it crossed any unspoken boundaries. So you decided it might be easier to give him yours, writing it down onto a napkin from Kotoha’s restaurant one morning while you waited for her to pour your coffee. Before slowly sliding it across the bar to Sakura, who was shovelling omelette rice into his mouth. His pink cheeks bulged with food as he skimmed the note, looking up at you with a frown.

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay.” You smiled softly as you thanked Kotoha for the coffee, walking out through the door into the warm morning sun.

If he didn’t want to what? Sakura thought to himself as he scanned your number on the white napkin. Why did you give him your cell phone number? Sakura pondered the reasons as he continued to shovel the warm egg omelette rice into his mouth. You could want to hang out as friends, but you’d never showed any indication of wanting to do so prior. Or perhaps you were looking for protection, although that didn’t make sense when you were so close to Tsubaki who was a force to be reckoned with alone.

You didn’t need protection— so what if you’d given him your number so you could fight? It made the most sense to Sakura. It had to be why you stared at him each morning when you came in for your coffee, almost as if you were sizing him up with expectation, and today was the day you’d decided to extend the invitation. He waited until he’d finished his plate before fishing his cell phone out of his pocket to send you a text message.

Even after Kiryu had added Sakura to a Furin group chat all those years ago, Sakura was never the best at texting. He tests the words against the screen as he debates how to properly respond. Backspacing until he finally settles on a simple, yet concise answer and he hits send.

Sakura[9.49AM]: I want to.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was agreeing to, but it had to be some sort of fight. He’d never trained with you before, so it couldn’t be that. And if you were friends with Tsubaki-chan, perhaps you enjoyed fighting too.

You[9.53AM]: hi! I’m glad you texted, I wasn’t sure if you actually wanted to go or not but I’m glad you do!!! Honestly, it’s made my day :)

Sakura reread the text twice, just to make sure he understood what you meant. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to go— so you were looking for a fight.

Sakura[9.55AM]: When?

He texts back, glancing at the screen as he notices the three little dots appear at the bottom to signal you are typing back.

You[9.57AM]: Meet me in the park by the swings at 7pm :)

Sakura read the text three times with a frown— 7pm. So you really did want to fight him? That would surely be the only reason you wanted to meet so late.

It felt like a shame to fight you, especially when your face is so pretty. Sakura feels his cheeks flush at the thought as he pictures that same sweet smile you give him each day when he sees you enter the restaurant to order your usual coffee to go, while he tries to hide his face in his omelette rice.

But you’re best friends with Tsubaki-chan so you must be strong, and maybe that’s the reason why you’ve chosen to fight him. And he’s never one to back down, and you’ve set the stage now so he has no choice but to agree. Sending back a single word as his fingers glide across his phone screen.

Sakura[10.00AM]: Yes.

Sakura isn’t sure how he’s supposed to prepare for this, or if he even needs to. He’s never seen you fight before, although he’s certainly seen you mad. Your soft hands balled into tight fists as you warned off a guy for getting a little too close, so close in fact that even Sakura was decidedly about to jump in— until you managed to get him to back off and leave.

Okay, maybe you were strong—

He doesn’t know anything about your fighting technique, or the way you hold yourself. Wondering whether you have a similar style to Tsubaki, and that’s why you’re so close? But he’s friends with Suo and Nirei and they don’t fight like him, so maybe that doesn’t make sense, he frowns. He’s known you for a while, and this is the first time you’ve shown any indication you want to fight, so now he’s started to overthink everything. Contemplating how he’ll be able to get the upper hand— or what spoils will be offered to the victor?

He makes sure he’s early, arriving at the park ten minutes before your scheduled fight with his hands bundled into fists inside his jacket pockets. But he’s surprised to see you already there and waiting, his roaring heartbeat catches in his throat at the sight of you as he almost forgets to breathe—

You’re sitting there waiting wearing the prettiest dress Sakura thinks he’s ever seen. A flowy sundress that hugs your curves in all the right places, embarrassed when his eyes are instantly drawn to the cleavage that spills out of the top. Your bare skin has a dull throb pounding at the back of his head as though he’d just been sucker punched as he wonders whether he’s still standing or how you’re this strong.

The moment he first saw you, he remembers a word that Suo had taught him to describe things like this— and he reckons that’s exactly what you are. Ethereal.

His cheeks burn a fiery red as he risks a glance further down, the soft material of the dress stops just above your knee as he follows the path of your legs to see your feet encased in pretty wedge sandals that strap around your ankles. There was no way you’d come to fight like this— in fact, he couldn’t fight you like this, could he?

“Hey.” You notice him staring as you stand up to walk towards him, and Sakura is certain that he won’t be able to land a single hit when the scent of your perfume surrounds him.

“W-what are you wearing?!” He shouts, despite the fact you’ve come to stand in front of him and it takes you aback.

The same insecurities begin to shroud you as they did when you were preparing to meet him. Standing in front of your full-length mirror as you tried on various outfits until you came to settle on this one, almost deciding against it at the last minute before you checked the time and noticed if you didn’t leave you might be late.

“Oh— you don’t like it, do you?” You fiddled with the strings at the front of the dress that were tied into a pretty, thin bow. Sakura’s eyes couldn’t look away as they followed the movement, noticing your pretty painted nails before he found himself staring at the hint of skin that peeked out of the top of the dress, “I knew I should’ve worn the other dress, it’s not quite as light as this one. God, I feel stupid.”

One of the thin straps was dangerously close to falling down your shoulder, and now Sakura wasn’t even sure he’d be able to land a single punch. This had to be some kind of distraction technique.

“You can’t fight in that!” Sakura raises his arm in an accusatory point, trying to stop himself from shaking and showing any signs of fear as he tries desperately to tame the fierce blush that streaked across the apples of his cheeks.

“I can’t fight in this?” Sakura despised how adorable you looked when you cocked your head to the side with your words, his heart banging like a marching band as he thought about his initial statement— maybe he was foolish for thinking you couldn’t fight in this.

When he’d watched Tsubaki fight, he’d always notice men that would get distracted from his short skirts and heeled boots— was this what you were trying to do to him now? Was this your plan all along?

“It’s—” He tries to get the words out, but it’s difficult when you look so cute, “It’s not— it isn’t—”

“It isn’t what?” You take a small step closer and the sudden movement had his fight or flight instinct kicking in as Sakura turned to run. Escaping in a hasty sprint as he left you standing alone in the park, the sun slowly falling over the horizon.

You try to ignore the ache in your chest when Sakura turns to run, wondering why he’d even bother to show up at all when he was going to reject you anyway. But then you suppose that’s one of the reasons why you even like him in the first place— he’s way too thoughtful and considerate of others. That’s probably why he didn’t want to reject you over text, and he’d come to tell you face to face.

Trying to stop the tears from falling as pearlescent droplets collect in your thick lashes to blur your vision, blinking them back you pull out your phone to rest Tsubaki. The first text sitting at the top of your phone is still your message chain with Sakura as you reread the “Yes” he’d sent you hours earlier. You were so stupid.

It’s the first fight Sakura has ever run from in his twenty-two years, and he hates himself for it. Hates that you managed to win on pure tactics alone as he makes his way back to the restaurant to find his friends.

His chest is heaving when he finally makes it through the door, knocking the wood so hard it almost flies off its hinges as wild eyes search for his friends. Thankful they seem to be the only people inside as he makes a beeline for them, his two-toned hair now windswept and pushed back from his forehead as it sticks up in all directions.

“You’re back quick?” Kiryu notes, his thumb pauses on his screen to take note of Sakura’s dishevelled appearance.

“Did she stand you up?” Nirei asks, concerned.

“No.” Sakura deadpans, still standing by the table despite there being a free seat in front of him as he leans his weight on the balls of his feet.

“You stood her up?” Kiryu locks his phone and places it down on the table as he raises a questioning brow, “That’s really not how to treat a girl, Sakura. I thought you—”

“I went there!” Sakura shouts, louder than necessary inside the small cafe as his hands ball into fists on either side of him.

“What happened?” Suo asks calmly, trying to diffuse the situation, but there’s a curious lilt to his tone.

“S-she was there.” Sakura tries to work out how to explain what happened, as his nose scrunches pensively.

“Okay? So that’s good, right?” Nirei smiles.

“She was wearing a dress!” Sakura is loud, immediately regretting his volume as the heat rising inside his body starts to become uncomfortable. Slouching down to sit beside Suo as he mumbles, “You can’t fight in a dress—”

“Girls can fight in anything,” Kiryu smiles, as Sakura looks across the table at him. So you did want to fight? “But I don’t think that’s what she had in mind.”

Oh. So if you didn’t want to fight him, then what else did you want?

“Well, where is she now?” Suo questioned, and Sakura answered for him with a sheepish look paired with a deep pink blush all the way down to his shoulders, “You left her in the park?”

“Wait— on her own?” Nirei continued, “Why would you do that?”

And somehow it sounded worse when his best friend put it like that. Sakura hadn’t left you alone, or at least he hadn’t meant to. You were there alone before he’d even got there, almost like he’d just stopped in passing. You were fine—

“She was wearing a dress!” Sakura repeated with an angry rasp to his tone.

“Sakura, you messed up.” Kiryu starts laughing playfully, shaking his head, “You’re gonna have her and Tsubaki-chan mad at you now. I can’t believe you did that to her— the poor girl.“

“What?!” Sakura baulks, “But she’s the one that text me!”

Sakura never wanted to fight you, why would he? You were far too pretty— too delicate to be subjected to that. He didn’t want to think about you fighting anyone, the thought alone had that same strange feeling bubbling in his tummy as he pictured you coming out of the fight hurt. That same seated desire inside him burning red hot at the thought— Sakura is certain he’d fight to the death to protect every single inch of you, to stop any harm from coming to you.

“What do you think it means when a girl gives you her number?” Sakura sat back beside Suo as he pondered the question.

The only phone number he had stored in his phone outside Bofurin friends and Togame from Shishitoren was Kotoha, and that was because she’d grabbed his phone the same day he’d given it to Kiryu. But Sakura didn’t mind so much because she always brought him food. But he didn’t think that’s why you’d given your number to him, was it?

“Iunno.” He mumbled gruffly, his lips curling into a pout, “That she wants to fight.”

Tsubaki-chan had texted him to spar all the time, it wouldn’t be weird to think you’d do the same.

Kiryu shot Suo a look as he gave his friend a soft smile, before trying a different approach. It was clear after knowing him for so many years, that Sakura was inexperienced in things outside the reemits of fighting.

“Have you never found a girl pretty before, Sakura-kun?” Suo asks,

“Shaddup!” Sakura snaps swiftly, already feeling a dangerous heat rise inside him— but it’s at that same moment where he really ponders the question.

Kotoha is pretty, he supposes. Thinking back to the first time he met her when she offered him a warm plate of food with a kind smile, remembering the heat that plumed inside him that followed her kindness as Sakura found himself coming back to her.

Sakura is certain he thinks Tsubaki is pretty too, although none of them seem to compare to how he feels about you. The incessant pounding of his heart against his rib cage at the mere thought of you, your saccharine perfume makes him feel dizzy and yet he hates when you’re not around so he has to remember the way it smells. The sound of your laughter causes more than just a subtle warmth inside him like Kotoha, it's more like a blazing inferno that courses through his veins like molten lava that’s impossible to extinguish. And the way you manage to fluster him without even being there— he’s constantly thinking about your face before he falls into a dreamless sleep, and waking up to wonder what you’re doing right now.

Tsubaki would probably think he’s foolish for thinking you couldn’t fight in a pretty sundress with sandals when he fights in a skirt and heels all the time. Maybe it would give you some kind of advantage, a way to get the upper hand. The sandals wedge gave you a slight height advantage sure, but would that be enough to beat him?

“Are you listening, Sakura?”

“Yeah.” He pushes his chair out with a harsh screech against the hardwood floor as he moves to leave, frantic in his search for you as he hopes you’re still standing where he left you.

[babybluebex]

telling robert fischer you’re pregnant idec don’t look at me you KNOW how i feel about babies

yes yes, you are a FIEND for the babies, i'm aware of this... lucky for you, i am too 😈 also i tweaked this a little tiny bit to be more like what i texted you about sooooooo

Ever since Robert split the company, he had been happier. Of course, he really only split it because of you... And him.

"Mikey, just one more spoonful of carrots, then you can have a cookie," you heard your husband say from the dining room, and you nervously looked down at the bathroom counter. The plastic test had been saying the same thing for the past ten minutes, and, every time you looked back at it, your heart thumped with adrenaline. But no, it couldn't be. Michael was hardly 11 months old, and he took up most of your time; you and Robert had only had sex twice (three times, if him kneeling between your legs while Michael was napping counted) in the past six months. While it certainly wasn't impossible, it just seemed so soon.

When you finally left the bathroom, you found your boys sitting at the table, Robert spooning mashed carrots into his son's mouth, his own dinner cold and forgotten. When you had first gotten pregnant with Michael, you were worried about how much time Robert spent at the office and if he would be able to be there for his son. To your surprise, though, Robert had come through for you. He had used his father's alternate will that split up the company in order to take time for you and his son, and, even though the inheritance was smaller than Robert would have wanted, it meant he got to be with you and Michael. And there for you he was; he worked from home every day except for Fridays, he went with you to every doctor's appointment— even when you went into labor on a Friday morning, he skipped out of his meetings for the rest of the day to be with you. Robert was the best father you could have asked for, always prioritizing Michael before himself, and it made you pleased to know that fatherhood had completely changed him. You loved the Robert that you used to know, but Robert as a dad just made sense.

"Rob?" you said quickly. "I need to talk to you."

He looked at you with worry in his eyes, and Michael glanced at you. He was the spitting image of his father, dark downy hair and clear blue eyes, and he smiled his toothy little smile at you and squealed, slamming his hands down onto his high-chair tray. He started to babble, looking at Robert as he said "Da-da-da!", and Robert nodded slowly.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, and you hugged yourself as you shook your head.

"Just..." you started softly.

"Just what, sweetheart?" Robert asked, sounding a little urgent.

You sat down next to him at the table and wiped up Michael’s chin, covered in carrots, and you sighed. “I think I’m pregnant,” you said, and you watched Robert’s face turn from one of worry to one of surprise.

"Oh!" he said. "Well, that's good! I was worried it was gonna be something bad."

"I want to go to a doctor and get a test done," you told him, and you watched him pull Michael from his high chair, settling him easily on his hip.

"Alright," Robert agreed easily.

"Robbie," you said quickly. "Do you not hear me?"

"I hear you, sweetheart," Robert told you.

"Well?" you asked. "We can't have a toddler and a baby running around! It'll be too hectic! And Mikey is still a lot of work, we'll be stretched so thin with him and a newborn."

"I think we'll be fine," Robert said. He held tightly onto Michael as he reached down into the pantry for his son's favorite cookies, the shortbread kind with a thin chocolate on the bottom, and he turned back to you for a moment. "I'll just take less hours at the office."

"You already don't have that many hours," you said softly. "I just... I'm just worried, y'know? I don't know if I can do that."

Michael grabbed at the cookie in Robert's hand, and Robert gave his son a playful scowl. "We ask before we take things, Mikey," he said. "Here, ask nicely."

Michael reached out his chubby little fist again, but this time he babbled away a quick "Dada!". Robert smiled and broke the cookie into a smaller piece, more manageable for Michael, and your son pushed it between his lips, gnawing on it with his growing teeth. Robert came back to the table, handing Michael off to you, and you held your son firmly, sighing.

"I think you can do that," Robert said finally. "You're a strong woman, and such a good mother. I mean, you already take care of me and Mikey so well. I think you're capable of more than you think you are."

"But..." you started, bouncing Michael lightly. You shook your head lightly, and Robert leaned forward, resting a gentle hand on your knee.

"You're not alone," Robert told you. "You've got me here for you, no matter what. Alright? We're gonna do this together."

You pressed your lips together and sighed through your nose, and you watched your son eat his cookie for a minute. His big blue eyes caught your gaze, and he extended his hand to you, giving you the sloppy, gnawed-on remnants of his cookie, and you couldn't help but smile. "Thank you," you whispered to him, taking it into your hand, and you looked back up at Robert. "If you say so, Robbie. We have to think of more names."

"I hope it's a girl," Robert said, reaching out to pinch Michael's belly. "You want a sister, Mikey? A little sister?" Michael giggled and squirmed in your arms, obviously wanting down so he could play, and your smile grew.

"I want another boy," you said. "Just have a bunch of little rascals running around."

"Who says a girl can't be a rascal?" Robert asked. "She can be whatever she wants to be."

"That's true," you chuckled. "Can you try to get me a doctor's appointment for later this week?"

"Sure," Robert said. "Did you take a drugstore test?"

"Yeah," you told him. "Just a few minutes ago."

"Why?" Robert asked. "What made you think to do that?"

"Well, I'm late, for one thing," you started. "And I'm getting that same sick feeling whenever I eat that I did back when I was in my first trimester."

"Okay," Robert said softly. "Well, we'll go later and see what the verdict is. But, I'll let you know, if it is a girl, I'll start crying."

"Oh, whatever," you giggled, and you leaned over Michael to kiss Robert softly. "My big crybaby."

[therhythmafterthesummer]

[00:08] (M) ~Han Jisung

Pairing: BestFriend!Jisung x Reader Themes: Suggestive | Fluff | Best Friends to Lovers Warnings: heavy making out, groping, mentions of drinking/alcohol Word Count: ~1k | AO3 Summary: When you agreed to come to this party, you would’ve never imagined you’d end up making out with your best friend, but you were certainly not going to complain. Not when you’d wanted this for the longest time.

Author’s Note: another silly little warm up, keeping the b2l theme :^). Jisung’s blond hair and pretty face are too much for me to handle. i had to cope somehow.

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.

Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

The wall behind your back was vibrating slightly with the loud music that was playing inside the house, but it was hard to register when you also had a very firm, warm human body pressed against you.

Your friends decided to throw a last minute party to celebrate the end of your fourth year at university, and at first you had declined the invitation because you weren’t really a party person. You’d go, usually, just to spend some time with your friends, maybe drink a little, but most of the time the noise was too much, the amount of people overwhelmed you, and the smell of smoke made you nauseous.

However, your best friend, Jisung, convinced you to go anyway using nothing but an adorable pout and a ‘pretty please come with me. I’ll get bored without you’, and you ended up agreeing after making him promise that he’d give you a lift at any given moment if you wanted to leave.

When you agreed, you never expected to end up here, pressed up against the concrete wall, hidden behind the small shed in the backyard, with your best friend’s tongue inside your mouth. You honestly weren’t even sure how it happened, maybe it was the time of day, or the couple of beers you’d had, lowering your inhibitions enough to feel the tension that had built between your friend and you while you talked about everything and nothing in this relatively private space.

Jisung kissed you like a starved man, and honestly you weren’t exactly holding back either. His hands held your waist tightly, keeping you firmly in place, while you tugged on his hair, relishing every groan and sigh and grunt that came out of his lips, mingling with the sounds of your wet kiss. Every single one of his movements had you feeling tingly, had tiny sparks of excitement coursing up and down your spine, fueling the fire burning in the pit of your stomach.

You met Jisung in your first year at uni, and your friendship somehow managed to withstand the test of time. He was one of the people you trusted most in this world, he was always kind, funny, attentive, and even if he was a bit stubborn as well, you ended up developing the biggest crush you’d ever had in your life. It also didn’t help that he was hot as fuck, especially these days with his recently died blonde hair, his incredibly strong arms and chest, and his adorable round cheeks.

At first you tried to ignore your crush, to carry on with your life as normal, tried to go on dates, but no one really stuck around, so a year ago you stopped looking for someone else altogether, resigning yourself to simply crushing on your best friend, and doing nothing about it because you were too much of a coward.

Jisung had been single for a couple of years, and he also seemed to stop going on dates around the same time you did. At the time you couldn’t quite understand why he wasn’t out there, you knew there’d be lines and lines of people ready to date him as soon as he sent a quick text. Now, as his hand slid from your waist to grope your ass and his teeth sunk on your bottom lip, you finally understood why.

“Jisung–” You tried to speak, but it was hard to when you just wanted to keep your lips on his, to feel his tongue play with your own, to feel his chest against yours.

“Mm?” Jisung seemed to be in the same predicament, and he finally let go of your ass to cup your cheeks instead, lightly stroking your skin with his thumbs as he kept pressing pecks on your lips.

“Wanna… Wanna go home”.

Jisung pulled back from you with slightly wide eyes. His cheeks were flushed, his lips were kiss-bitten, his gaze flickered from one of your eyes to the other, and you had to resist the urge to go back to devouring his mouth again. Taking a step back, he let go of your face. “Oh…”

That crestfallen look in his eyes let you know he had completely misunderstood your words, so you took a hold of his hoodie stepping into his space. “Why are you looking at me like that? I wanna go home… With you”.

“Oh?” Jisung looked genuinely surprised, and you would’ve laughed at the absurdity of it all had you not been burning up from the inside out. “You do?”

“Are you doubting it? We just spent an eternity making out against this wall, Han Jisung”, you chuckled, looping your arms around his neck to pull him close, and his arms wrapped around your waist to pull you even closer with a sheepish smile on his face.

“I mean… I’d convinced myself this would never happen so I’m… You know…”

You blinked, confused. “Why wouldn’t it happen?”

Jisung chuckled, pressing his hands flat on the small of your back. “Have you seen yourself? You could have anyone you wanted. Up until thirty minutes ago I thought you saw me as a friend. Thought my feelings were one-sided”.

“Have you seen yourself?” You brought one of your hands to his face, squeezing his cheeks, making him pout. “It’s honestly unfair how hot you are”.

Jisung’s flush seemed to deepen, and you couldn’t help but smile as he stumbled over his words. “That’s not–I mean–But you–”

“Jisung”, you squished his cheeks a bit harder, stopping his ramble on the spot. “We can fight over who’s hotter later. If you don’t take me home and fuck me, I will fuck you against this wall right now”.

Jisung went quiet for a moment, until he finally detached himself from you, taking your hand in his and tugging you along the backyard, and back into the house. Everyone was already wasted inside, but the party was still pretty much alive, the music was incredibly loud, people were dancing, talking–more like screaming–and playing games.

You and Jisung ignored all of it, making your way towards the front door, to finally step outside and walk all the way to Jisung’s car. It was taking so long, too long for your liking. You wanted to have his lips on you again, so you tugged on his hand to get him to stop moving, crashing into him, kissing him deeply, hungrily, and the desperate sounds that came out of his mouth as he held the back of your head and reciprocated your kiss certainly made it all worth it.

“Just for the record…” Jisung mumbled against your lips between kisses, hugging your waist tightly and walking backwards towards his car with you in his arms. “I would’ve one hundred percent let you fuck me against that wall, but your bed sounds way more appealing”.

You simply chuckled, sucking on his bottom lip, making him giggle. “I’ll keep that in mind, then”.

You both stopped walking as soon as you found yourselves by Jisung’s car. With your hands on his chest you pushed him against the door, sneaking your tongue inside his mouth to glide against his. Gripping your ass, Jisung held you against him, pulling you impossibly closer to him as one of his legs slotted between yours, his thigh adding much needed friction against your core, making you whine.

Jisung’s lips were so soft, so swollen from all the biting and nibbling you’d been doing, better than you could’ve ever imagined they’d feel like against your own, better than you could’ve ever imagined they’d taste like. You could feel him hard against your stomach, undeniable proof that you weren’t just making this all up in your head, he really wanted you just as much as you wanted him, and the feeling had your head spinning a bit.

“C’mon”, with one more squeeze to your buttcheek, and a final, loud kiss on your lips, Jisung got you off of him, digging into his pocket for his car keys to unlock the doors, chuckling once he saw the pout on your face. “Let’s go before I bust a nut right here, right now”.

“How romantic”, you couldn’t help but laugh, rounding the car and opening the passenger door to finally climb inside.

As soon as the car was on and your safety belts were secured in place, Jisung started to drive, taking the road that you knew would lead to your home the fastest. It was silent for a while. It wasn’t uncomfortable by any means, but there was certainly something lingering in the space. You could almost feel your own neediness radiate off of you, just like you could feel Jisung’s, and it had you vibrating with excitement right where you sat.

Suddenly, you felt warmth envelop your hand, and when your gaze shifted from the road to your lap, you saw Jisung’s fingers link with yours, holding your hand, softly caressing your knuckles with his thumb. 

“So… What would you like for breakfast tomorrow? Waffles? Pancakes?” Jisung’s eyes never left the road. There was a tiny smile on his lips, coupled with the faintest blush on his cheeks, the sight had your heart fluttering in your chest.

“Waffles. With maple syrup and butter”, you replied simply, holding his hand tighter.

“With maple syrup and butter”, Jisung repeated, glancing at you for a second before returning his eyes to the road.

It didn’t matter, really. You would’ve had anything for breakfast, as long as you had Jisung with you there the next morning. Maybe even the one after that, too… And the one after that, and the one after that, and the one after that…

Tagging: @raspbinniecreme @oiminho @dundullresident @honey-lemon-goose @lavenderxkies @biribarabiribbaem @meowmeowhoon @dearalice @alexis-reads-fics @xcookiemonsteer @knowleeknow @chanlovesme @liminaldaydream @sstarryreads @svngiem @notastraykid If you want to be removed from the list (or if i tagged you incorrectly) just PM me. If you want to be added fill in this form~

© therhythmafterthesummer 2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

Constructive feedback (or even keysmashes, really) is always welcome :) feel free to leave your comments in the caption/tags when you reblog, or by sending me an ask !

[lazyneonrabbitt]

All good things come in threes.

Gallzatto x reader

The one where reader plans an evening full of surprises.

This is set a while after 'Two dads and a mom' in the Gallzatto timeline.

~~☆☆☆~~

Work was slow this time of year and to be fair, that was just what you needed.

You had to get a lot of research done in a short time to plan out the perfect evening for your big announcement.

You had started to feel a familiar kind of sick last week and quickly sprung into action. And soon enough your suspicions were proven to be right as you stared at the positive pregnancy test in your hands.

You had been mailing and calling different people to get to see some homes in the neighborhood for you all to move into now that your family was growing again.

You've also gotten back into contact with one of your older friends who had a love for making jewelery and now had his own online shop set up to inquire about some custom made rings.

You quickly found a home within your budget that wasn't far from your workplaces and the school. It needed some smaller fixes but it was nothing that Lip wouldn't be able to get done, especially with Carmy's help. 

You were lucky to be the one who did all of your finances and had all the needed paperwork to get all.the pre-work for the house done on your own without the boys realising it, and only needed to take the family there and sign the papers with the salesperson if they wanted to move in.

The house related calls went a lot easier than the marriage calls. You already panicked about having to explain your relationship over the phone and figure out if it was even possible for the three of you to marry before even picking up a phone. You were being shot down almost immediately after only a few words and felt absolutely broken to find out your wishes weren't even considered legal in parts of the country. You shoved aside the entire plan and tried to make it into something you could do and called your jewelery making friend with your plans.

Your friend was so shocked to hear everything that happened to you since you last spoke, he felt honored to create three custom rings for your poly relationship and wished you all the best in the future. He didn't live close so you had to take a weekend trip to his place to pick up the rings.

You happily discussed all the details of your recent lives and met his partner who he shared the shop with these days. They were the social media side of their shop and got him most of his customers lately.

The rings were a perfect recreation of how you had pictured them in your mind. All giving the illusion of being two seperate rings intertwined and carrying the details of eith of their partners' rings. The stones on the bands each represented one of you. Carmen's ring held your red and Lip's black stones while Lip's held your red and Carmy's white. Yours had black and white stones set in the intertwined bands.

They were so beautiful you cried right then and there.

You couldn't keep your eyes off the box that poked out of your bag on the passengers seat on the way home. The already prettily packaged pregnancy test and fancy envelope that held the house paperwork were hidden away at the bottom of that bag, not wanting to risk your girls with their sticky fingers finding either and ruining the surprise.

The only thing you had to do now was spent your day off to get the house all nice while the boys worked.

You had the girls stay for a sleepover with Eva tonight so you could set up your plans. The kitchen island set up with candles between three gorgeously presented sets of dinner you had plates as soon as your neighbor on the ground floor texted you your boys walked into the building. On the front end of the island you had your three surprises set under a cover, for after the dinner.

You were pouring three non-alcoholic drinks into fancy glasses when your boys walked in.

"Sweets? What's all this about?" Lip's confused tone only made you giggle as they sat down their bags and rid themselves of their coats.

"We aren't forgetting an important date here, are we?" You smiled fondly at the list of important dates you all had. Lip's aniversary of being sober, yours and Carmy's aniversary, the day you all became official partners, The Bear's opening and of course all of your birthdays.

"You're not forgetting anything. Come, sit and eat." You had set the glasses down next to their respective plates and set down at the head of the island, with each of the boys sitting down at either side. Lip glanced at his fancy glass for a moment and gave you a look, to which you only pointed behind him to the bottle on the counter that had a large 0.0% stamp on the lable. It was the only bottle in sight which implied no one was drinking alcohol tonight.

"So, you gonna tell us what's up now, or-" "Nope." You quickly shot the question down again. "Dinner first, then dessert." The boys glanced at the covered item as they ate, sharing details of their day and begging you to let them guess why you went all out on this date night. You promised them it was because it had been a while since you showed them some love, always being the one being shown love and now wanting to return it for once and it seemed they were buying it as you all finished dinner without any more questions.

With all the plates empty you were getting more desperate to spill the tea and spoil the surprise so to combat your restlessness you topped off everyone's glasses and walked over to your 'dessert'.

Both boys eyed you like hawks as your hands went to the cover and took it away to reveal two fancy boxes and a beautiful envelope, all signed eith the same words. "All good things come in threes."

You tried to find the right words to start this as the items were being eyed with great curiosity.

"I- you decide together which one you want first." Your nerves were killing you as the boys mumbled amongst themselves before deciding on the envelope first. You took in into your shaking hands and reached it over to them.

Carmy was the one who took if from your hands and Lip moved over to stand next to him and look at the contents. "Its heavy." It was the first comment made on the item and you could only nod in agreement. Opening the envelope Carmy pulled out the stack of folded papers and unfolding them to stare at the photo of a two-story home with a garage next to a large porch in front of the house.

They turned the page to find the full contract that would have you own the house if signed.

"You found us a house?" Lip was the first one to speak up. "You found us a house. We can afford this else you wouldn't have these papers." It all clicked suddenly as Carmen chimed in. "That's why you were going through our paperwork earlier. Scribbling all those numbers down in that chaotic way no one understands."

Your smile was wide as you giggled and nodded. "We'll take the girls to see the hoise this weekend. I already have an appointment set. But only if you want to."

Ofcourse they agreed in a heartbeat and you decided to quickly move on. You weren't sure if the sudden nausia came from the food, the nerves or the baby.

"Now, only two more to choose from."

They each pointed to a different box and looked at each other. "Hun?" Their gaze returned to you and you quickly shook your head. "No! I know whats in these and I'm not picking."

"We'll pick the left one first. Your left." Carmy voted for the box Lip had pointed out to go first so you handed it to them again.

With the box in front of them they took a deep breath in anticipation before lifting the cover to reveal a note written in an unknown handwriting.

It read 'Wishing you three the best in your future together. Much love,' and a stamp of your friend's shop logo.

Lip took the note out of the box and they audibly gasped. Wide eyed they stared at the three rings set in the dark blue velvet cushion.

"You're asking us to marry you? Marry each other?"

Your gaze dropped in sadnedd, shaking your head. "Not legal." You simply spoke, no other words made it out.

"We'll hold a ceremony anyways." Carmy's voice was stern, not even accepting any comments on his statement. "We already have two flower girls." You laughed at the play on your daughters' names and it really cleared the mood and getting you ready for the last box.

With shaking hands you offered them their last surprise of tonight. Their looks concerned at your trembling figure. They wasted no time and took the lid off to reveal the one thing they thought never to see again. The looks of complete shock on their faces made fear rise back up. You couldn't tell if it was good shocked or bad shocked.

"We're having another baby?"

That definitely didn't sound good shocked. A sob escaped your lips and tears freely rolled down your cheeks.

The boys immediately turned to look at you, jumping up and rushing to your side, pulling you in a hug. "Trust me, I want this. We want this." Carmen's reassuring words helped. "I hope it's a boy this time." Lip chimes in with his little dream. "Or what about two? To balance out the boy-girl ratio."

"Lip, she's not having twins again. It's rare enough she had them before." Carmen tries to soothe your panic, but he's never been the best with words. "Also, her and the twins make three girls, us and the baby boy makes three as well."

They rambled on back and forth with you comfortably squished in between them. You were so worried this evening would easily become too much for you to handle, but right now you couldn't be happier to start this next chapter.

~~☆☆☆~~

A/N: Okay so I never planned for this fic to be to three-centric but is kinda just ..happened.

[tonyglowheart]

Thinking again (more, lmao) about The Contentious Chapter 45, and my Why It Needed to Happen thesis, so here are some more semi-organized thoughts on this topic:

Why It Needed to Happen: Yan Wushi edition. So, we don't ever really know what specifically Yan Wushi went through/experienced in his life and more specifically his childhood - we get hints here and there that seem to imply or can be interpreted to be that he's gone through some shit as Xie Ling, and that's (partly? mostly?) what led him to reinvent himself as Yan Wushi, and then there's also the New Years Extra that has a line about how he'd (already) witnessed countless evils borne of the human heart - but the text does tell us he has this belief that human nature is wicked, slash humans can be pushed to do wicked things no matter how "good" they may think themselves to be. As far as YWS knew by Chap 45, SQ was no different -- he'd received no proof yet that SQ was different, he just hadn't found SQ's bottom line. This is sort of similar to the abused child or abused dog thing, where they will lash out to try to provoke the abuse they're expecting either to "get it over with" or so they know where the line is with this new person (except these are purposeful tests that YWS is doing and not like a reactionary mechanism). Basically, this needed to happen for YWS to know/believe that Shen Qiao is different from what he's observed of human nature -- he needed this proof of concept that the world isn't just rival(/rival peers) -- the closest to equals he has, and rabble. This needed to happen to show/prove - to him and the reader - that there may be a thousand Chen Gong's in the world, but there is only one Shen Qiao.

Why It Needed to Happen: Shen Qiao edition. Shen Qiao is a good guy, but he WAS very sheltered and naive. He holds his beliefs firmly, but his worldly experience was limited and so his character was untried. It's the "it's easy to be a good person when you're rich" idea -- he doesn't know if he has a bottom line yet if he would snap. It's easy to say that you will stay true to your principles when they're not tested - it's when they're put under the stress test that you can truly say that you know yourself and your character. Yan Wushi threw him into a fire, yes, but in many ways this was a tempering of his character, much as one would temper steel. This whole experience very much was an absolute low for Shen Qiao, and it's easy to see fire (analogy) as only destructive, but fire can also be a creative force -- e.g. the forging/tempering analogy from earlier, fires used to clear out brush and weeds choking up the land so that new growth can germinate in the new fire-enriched soil, that kind of thing. This isn't to say that Shen Qiao doesn't experience agony in this metaphoric fire, but he also very much textually experiences a sort of epiphany and rebirth. This is both a spiritual (character-based) sort of rebirth, as well as a rebirth of his wugong. It's after this and after traveling with Yan Wushi that we see Shen Qiao exhibiting much more wisdom when it comes to people, where he's not just naively believing and expecting the good in everyone (I don't have specific citations but iirc this is textual, there's whole parts where it's like, before he might have thought x, but now having traveled with YWS he knows xyz, etc.) Yes this was "bad," maybe, but it tempered Shen Qiao, catalyzed his recovery/"rebirth," and overall led to the strengthening of his wugong and his character. (The conversation they have in Chapter 124 underscores this point, actually.)

Why It Needed to Happen: Yanshen edition. Or maybe more like, what does it do for us from a yanshen perspective lol. Cuz imo, it does a lot. I've posted about this elsewhere before lol, but like aside from the above for the YWS side of things, an argument can also be made that this was YWS going "wait. oh shit, I'm experiencing... feelings? for him" (narrator voice: that feeling was friendship, although he had never experienced it before) and like, lashing out at Shen Qiao like "that'll show you for thinking of me as a friend (and maybe making me feel friend-like feelings towards you..)" -- he was already softening before this (him digging that grave for the dead boy unasked, for example), and the way he's like. ....so you think of me as a... friend? before he pulls the rug from under SQ's feet. But this is important because it tells us that YWS *does* care. He's flippant and teasing and gives the impression that he does it for personal amusement and not really out of affection or anything, so really Shen Qiao may be his latest target of amusement, but it could be anyone. But the fact that he reacted like this to Shen Qiao declaring him a friend instead of just dismissing him as not being worthy of being his friend, not being on his level, etc (I mean he does also do that, but it's not the FIRST thing he does, and also I'd argue that when he Declared it contextually he was purposefully trying to hurt Shen Qiao's feelings), or like, just laughing at him and ridiculing SQ for something so preposterous -- this tells us that he IS feeling some kind of way about Shen Qiao already, that something HAS changed and Shen Qiao went from "latest disposable amusement" to at least "point of fascination." We're not in the endgame yet with this, but it does show that for all that Yan Wushi is trying to influence and "experiment" on Shen Qiao, traveling with Shen Qiao/being around him is conversely having an effect on him, too. That he's not just some unchangeable flat "evil" archetype but is also a complex character that responds to stimulus/reacts to his environment and is capable of being influenced by Shen Qiao. Theirs isn't just a one-sided relationship of one influencing the other or one trying to change the other-- it already by this point is a mutual communion between the opposing but complementary worldviews they hold and embody. They're already like if the taijitu were people (sans the dots in each section-- that comes through the course of the story with their mutual temperings). The same or similar actually holds for the SQ side of things too. Actually, the very fact that he feels anguish from this act and finds it a betrayal is also a very huge indication that Shen Qiao also already cares. I mean, yes, he declared YWS his friend, but like YWS said when they were burying the boy - you didn't even cry when your shidi Yu Ai betrayed you - or later when YWS was about to face Hulugu and SQ says if he were to do it, it would seem natural, but if a friend were to do it, he'd worry. and YWS is like, a friend? If LQY were to face Hulugu would you feel the same way? -- Basically, a similar idea holds here. Would you feel the same way if it were someone else? Yu Ai betrayed him, we didn't see him experience this level of individual, personal anguish. Chen Gong betrayed him, he just kind of sighed and moved on. But coming from Yan Wushi... he reflects on how much it hurt, actually. I still hold to my theory that SQ fell first and by this point was already at least kind of in love with YWS, but even that aside, the very fact that this "betrayal" hurt SQ shows that Shen Qiao, like Yan Wushi, despite seeming above worldly/petty matters slash is disconnected from such normal-people-problems like getting your feelings hurt or, godforbid, heartbreak -- are very much not above that, at least, not when it comes to each other. They're not just two ships passing each other in the night -- they're already mutually entangled together, and this growing bond will only grow stronger as they travel more together

[cy-cyborg]

Ok so the saga with my old PC continues and is only fueling my desire to get back into fanfiction lol because I found all of the files from my attempt at making a legend of spyro fan-game! I honestly thought they were lost, I'm so excited to see all this stuff again! This was the "logo" for the game (I know its nearly unreadable lol, so it says "The Legend of Cynder, Shadows of The Past". 14/15 year old me didn't seem to care much for readability, I think I'd just discovered photoshop's layer effects lol)

Here's a bunch of random stuff I found.

I'm defiantly going to do a redraw of that last one at some point. That was like, THE thing I remember being super proud of when I first did it. I think it was going to be part of the trailer my now-partner was putting together for the game lol.

Actually, a lot of these were actually just frames from animations, but either the files are either just corrupted, or high school me didn't know how to set fps and resolution properly in the output so I got a headache trying to watch them lol. It's probably the second one honestly. Also I remember my old laptop wasn't able to play back the animation because it would lag so much, so I just had to kind of...guess at timing, and that went about as well as you'd expect. It didn't help that blender used to have this bug where your audio would move around your timeline so it really was just random guessing. I'm amazed anything got done at all, let alone how far we actually got (that is to say, not far at all but we had something playable at least).

I also found the demo files and footage of the "game" running (running at 12fps but running)! I'm curious if they still work, I'll have to download an older version of blender to test them out!

There's actually a lot more but actually finding it is proving to be quite a challenge since this laptop seems to be the digital equivalent of an ADHD "doom box" - meaning nothing is sorted into folders that make even a remote lick of sense to me, it's all just kind of thrown in together lmao.

I wanted to post these though because even though I don't really do 3D stuff anymore, It still made me really happy to see how much progress I've made over the years and how far I've come. Also a few folks who worked on this project with me back on Deviantart have started finding me lol, so in case there's anyone else out there, hello! I'm not dead, I'm still around, I'm just a lot more (openly) queer now lmao.

Image descriptions:

[ID 1: A game title that reads "The Legend of Cynder, Shadows of the Past". The two lines, "the legend of" and "shadows of the past" are written in dark purple text. The purple material is supposed to look like liquid, but instead just looks hard to read. "Cynder" is writen in black, 3D text with red outlines, with the exception of the C. The "c" is modeled as a black tube instead of in a blocky style like the rest of the letters. The inside of the C has a red underbelly, and the bottom of the C ends in a tail, resembling Cynder's from the Legend of Spyro Series. There are 3 white spikes at the top of the C. /end ID]

[ID 2: a 3d render of 4 dragons around a christmas tree. A black dragon at the front, Cynder, is using her tail to hang tinsel, a pruple dragon, Spyro, on the left is reaching up into the branches of the tree. A blue dragon, Ignitus, is hovering behind the tree, his paws outstretched, implying he is placing the glowing star at the top. On his head is a silver dragon, Zerali, balancing on his horns. behind them is a series of floating islands. /End ID]

[ID 3: A render of Cynder with a darker colour pallet than the previous image and glowing yellow eyes, snarling at the camera, guarding a black gem. The sky in the background is blood red and the terrain is flat and barren. /End ID]

[ID 4: A render of an incomplete model of Terrador, a green dragon with brown horns and rocky shoulder decorations. He has no underbelly or wings. /end ID]

[ID 5: A render of a fan character named ekkosel, a blue, anthropomorphic dragonfly with an unsettling, uncanny face and green wings, T-posing. Her green wings are a blur /End ID]

[ID 6: two sketches of a anthropomorphic cheetah heads. One has long ears like a lynx and is labeled DotD design, the other has small, rounded ears like a cheetah usually has, labled TLoC design. /end ID]

[ID 7: A render of Zerali, the silver dragon from the second image, and ekkosel, from the 5th, playing together. In this image, we can see Zerali has a pinky-purple underbelly and shiny gold horns.]

[ID 8: A rendered scene showing a close up of blue ignitus with his eyes closed. He appears to be talking to Cynder, who is in the background, but blurry. The game's logo is visible in the bottom left of the image. /end ID]

[half-dead-writer]

I I'm sorry to be that guy but this man needs to be humiliated he's too cocky for his own good like no way this man ain't into some freaky shit

Bad Dog

Being a CEO is stressful. You're happy to let him blow off some steam, even if it's something... experimental.

character: Gideon Graves / Gordon Goose (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off)

words: ~3k

reader: gender-neutral / AFAB reader (with a strap-on)

warnings: bottom Gideon, pet-play, humiliation, basically putting Gideon in his place (with some moments of praise and fluff at the end)

𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔰 + 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 / 𝔖𝔠𝔬𝔱𝔱 𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪 𝔗𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔒𝔣𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

The creak of your bedroom doors opening wasn't a surprise for Gideon. Your figure emerged, covered only by your underwear and a t-shirt that you probably stole from his closet. He liked seeing you wearing his stuff, it filled him with pride to see both of the things he owned at the same time. Calm smirk formed on your lips, he was waiting for you just as you expected - on the floor, no fabric present to cover his bare body, aside from the pretty, red collar adorning his neck. It was custom-made, with the text "Gideon" engrained on the dog-tag hanging near his collar-bone. He spared no expense on something that was supposed to be just for him, why would he?

His eyes followed as you approached, taking a good look at his pathetic position. The hard, wooden floor lightly pained his knees. He should buy a carpet for his bedroom, he thought. A nice, fluffy one, that's easy to clean. Not like it was a worry of his, he probably had a maid to keep the house tidy, you never seen him clean it himself.

"Look at you," you gently played with his black locks while going right past him to sit on the shared, king-sized bed. "Such a pathetic sight to see. At least the collar looks good on you."

"Heel." You commanded, patting your thigh mockingly. Gideon was quick to open his mouth, presumably to hit you with one of his smartass quips, but you were quick to stop him by hardly pulling on the leash, that up until this point was loosely laying on the ground. He would have lost balance and fell right onto the floor if he hadn't quickly supported himself with his hands.

"Nu-uh," you warned, shooting him a glare, "dogs, don't speak." His expression changed, from furrowed eyebrows to almost a challenging stare. He was testing you more than you were testing him.

On the daily, obviously he was the big man that "wore the pants" in the relationship, spoiling you with all kinds of gifts to your heart's desire. You were not about to give back the control you had over him now. Annoyance was not the only thing radiating from him though, as you knew behind those eyes also hid a wave of excitement from the current situation.

"Bark, bark." He decided to play along, sarcastically crossing his arms in defiance. It amused you, but you let it slide.

"See, it ain't so hard, hm?" You taunted, secretly enjoying the effect you had on him. What would others think seeing him like that? On all fours, acting like a mutt. Even though his actions showed resistance, it was all for show. When was Gideon ever easy to deal with?

Your grip on the matching, red leash tightened, just in case he wanted to pull any other tricks on you. You adjusted yourself more comfortably, crossing one leg over the other to pose even more of a dominance presence.

"Lick." Gideon looked as your hand inched closer towards his mouth. Surprisingly, he obeyed. You felt the warm and wet sensation on your fingers, his tongue sent shivers down your spine. It was a slightly ticklish experience, not much different from a real puppy. His cold stare observed as you tried to keep your composure, the threat of a smile invading your lips was not hard to notice. You'd think being in such a compromising position would make it harder for Gideon to act like his usual self, but on the contrary, he was living just to spite you, relishing in the way he could still retain bits of control. Without the need of any words, he was silently taunting you.

You pushed your digits further down his throat, making him choke. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes, but he resisted the urge to gag. You backed off your finger, leaving a small string of saliva connected to his lips. Not commenting on the humiliating display you forced him to go though, he silently brushed the leftover spit on his mouth with the back of his hand. You adjusted the glasses that fell on his nose, pushing them in their original place. It caused a small smile to appear on his face for a second, deep down enjoying the break in your acting just to show some affection. Of course, it didn't last long, and the expression was changed to his usual resting bitch-face.

"Good boy," you praised, yet still continued with the game of dominance, wiping your drool-coated fingers onto his cheek. He huffed and squinted in dismay, although did nothing to stop you. You uncrossed your legs, this time shuffling them wide open. He watched you with curiosity, cocking his brow to the sudden change of view. You let the leash rest on the bed, moving your hands down to your underwear. Painstakingly slow, you teased him with each centimeter of your exposed skin. His gaze, intent and lustful, betrayed his impatience with your leisurely pace. After what felt like an hour - which was probably just a minute - you finally got of your undergarment. You felt a pang of embarrassment course thru you after being stared down by Gideon like a hungry wolf. Guess he really did get into the role.

"Lick." Your command made his smirk reappear again, clearly enjoying making you flustered. He knew even though he was the one on the leash, he had the upper hand on you now. Your legs shivered as you felt his eager laps on your most sensitive nerves. Turns out his tongue was not only great for coaxing his potential business-partners. Your grip on his leash loosened, overwhelmed by this man's surprising ability to find your sweet spot so quickly. His hands were gently placed on your thighs and he looked... almost bored. His experience showed clearly with how easy it was for him to make you pant like a dog.

Your peak was almost near it's end, which turned out to be the perfect moment for him to start toying with you. His licks slowed down exponentially, only lightly teasing you with the brushes of his tongue. You groaned, "Gid-Gideon."

He stopped completely, letting you finally exhale the breath you didn't know you were holding. With the cocked eyebrow and a taunting look, he didn't dare to speak, responding only with a brief, "Mm?"

"Use your stupid tongue better," you huffed out in annoyance. He sniggered, his smug expression only widened. Even though he liked seeing you lose your patience, he provided, this time with even more vigor. The sudden intensity of the feeling made you clasp your legs behind his back, drowning him in between your groin. He didn't stop until you were properly seeing stars, and you didn't have time to wonder how did he manage to go without the oxygen during this experience. Your chest moved rapidly as your upper body fell limp on the soft mattress. After a minute of regaining your strength, you supported yourself with your elbows, only to witness Gideon licking his lips with a smirk, calmly adjusting his glasses. The contact with your bare skin left small stains on them, but it didn't compare to the glistening mess that painted his face. Fortunately, he didn't mind.

He awaited for your further instructions patiently while you finally gathered yourself up to the previous sitting position. His shit-eating grin pushed you to utter your words intertwined with taunt. "Well, you did good. Guess it's time for your reward." His curiosity showed in the way he observed you stretch out your leg.

"You may hump my leg. Show what a desperate mutt you are."

Your permission made him stop dead in his tracks for a moment, not expecting you to come up with such a... creative prompt. He merely scoffed, or maybe huffed out, judging by precum beading at his tip due to your suggestion. His former confidence got clouded, only daring to glance at you briefly before wrapping his arms around your thigh. You felt the warmth brush over your shin, again, and again. The act not only made you feel depraved, but you noticed yourself getting fired up again. The long lasting foreplay (that he did not get to experience) before his allowed pleasure made his movements desperate and sloppy. The sight of your boyfriend, the powerful CEO, humping your leg like a parched man urging for water did wonders for your confidence.

Soon enough, the humiliating performance got you disinterested, right when his breaths got even more labored, tightly squeezing your leg, nearing his release. You swiftly tugged on his leash again, forcing him to stare at you with a tired look.

"Enough," you remarked, seeing the ache behind his eyes left you pleased. He discontentedly let go off your leg, now covered in the thin layer of his essence. He didn't even try to hide the disapproval of your command, his panting subsided with an annoyed groan. He was not about to beg, but his eyes betrayed the deep desperation bubbling in him. You leaned over and took his chin into your hand, pointing him look at you. His furrowed brows softened as you placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Such a good boy. You know how to listen, hm?" Your praise was laced with a hint of mockery, and you backed away to ruffle his hair. He rolled his eyes, although didn't bother hiding a small smirk that invaded his lips after, indicating his will to continue with the play.

"Come on," you emphasized by patting the mattress, "get on the bed." He listened, crawling over to the exact spot you chose for him. It felt good being in charge for once, with someone obeying your exact orders. Almost as if he had heard your thoughts, he suddenly leaned over to whisper in your ear.

"Getting pretty comfortable with bossing me around, are we?" You wanted to wipe off the smug smile off his face, but you bided your time.

You responded with calmness, a smidge of cheekiness shined through your words, "Of course. It's pretty fun." You grabbed him by the collar, gifting him yet another quick peck, this time on the lips. "But I'm gonna make it even more fun."

You swiftly scooted over to the drawer across the end of the room, making Gideon turn his head at the mysterious object you pulled out from it. He watched as you strapped on, the rubber dildo rested neatly between your thighs. He was surprised, how did you manage to smuggle something like that without his knowledge?

"When did you get it?" He stared at you, dumbfounded.

"Surprise," you flashed him your teeth in satisfaction as you got back into your spot, "you can handle it, right?"

"Pf, of course," he scoffed, whipping his head, but not before glancing at the challenging object one more time. Just because he didn't expect it, didn't mean he wasn't up for something new. Or at least, that's what he wanted you to believe. "There's a reason they call me fearless."

His silly high-school nickname served with a prideful look made you roll your eyes, but you couldn't deny his attempt at keeping composure got you endeared.

"I'll be gentle at first, alright?" You still took a moment to make sure you both were on the same page, you watched as his cheeks heated up with a scowl.

"I can handle it," he reiterated.

"Good." You smooched his cheek one last time, grabbing a bottle of lube that awaited you at the bedside table. You were kind enough to grab a pillow, preparing a comfortable place for him to lay down his upper body. "Now, raise your butt."

He did as you requested, falling onto the soft fabric after putting down his glasses somewhere safe. He wasn't used to such open positions, but he didn't object, choosing to mask his lack of familiarity with a facade of an impatient annoyance. "Hurry up."

A surprised whimper fell out of his lips after you gave his bottom a light, reprimanding smack. It was too good of an opportunity to tease him. "Did I allow you to speak?"

He growled in dismay, but with the bed becoming increasingly more messier, you knew he liked the rough treatment. You should have put a towel beforehand, but it was too late for it now.

A generous amount of the lubricant slowly spilled down, making him shudder at the hit of coldness. You heard the groans failing to be muffled by the pillow he laid on. Not wanting to wait any longer, your finger slipped right into him with ease, his shoulders rising at the sudden contact.

"Relax," you gently rubbed his back, keeping your movements relatively slow, "you're doing very good." He wouldn't admit it, but your reassuring tone did let him swat away the leftover tension in him. As he adjusted to the feeling, a calm sigh let you know to speed up the pace. You added a second finger, your knuckles disappearing with each thrust. In a quick moment, a high whine hit your ears. You found his sweet spot. Seemingly, it confused Gideon more than you - did this man really just experience it for the first time in his life? Poor thing.

"...Fuck-" He huffed out, pushing his face into the pillow. You were merciful enough to spare him the reprimand of speaking up.

"Enjoying yourself, hm?" You teased, your hand held a steady rhythm. His only response was a groan in return, causing a smirk to appear on your face. You loved seeing him like that, all of his power given for you to play with. The sounds of his enjoyment filled the whole room. You were glad there weren't any neighbors around to hear them, but you assumed Gideon was even more relieved by that fact, not holding back any of his pathetic whimpers.

After a few minutes, Gideon was already a mess. You felt a bit pitiful seeing the twitches of his untouched dick, but you were not about to give it to him just yet. His disapproval showed with a complaining grunt, feeling empty after you retreated your fingers. He glanced at you, finally opening his eyes and coming back from the pleasant daze.

You placed your hands on his behind, poking the rubber toy against his entrance. Gideon's body shivered with anticipation - at first, he was on the fence whether he actually wanted to try it, or was it his need of always being in charge. Now that you introduced him the great possibilities, he was more than ready, not hesitating to show you that by lightly pushing his hips into yours. He didn't dare to speak, instead signaling you to hurry up with the impatient groan. It amused you.

The previously applied lubricant let you thrust smoothly into him, grabbing the leash at the same time. His choked moan filled you with satisfaction, and you went back on your previous words of being gentle - since he had shown his eagerness to you, you decided to stop toying with him anymore, fully pressing your whole length inside.

Usually, he would be the one making you writhe in pleasure, forcing embarrassing whimpers that you didn't even know you had in you. Of course, he did let you know about his enjoyment with a few quiet and manly grunts, groans, or light panting, decorated neatly with an array of praises or highly descriptive insults, whenever you two got it on. Due to this, his newly found vocal range had you stunned and yearning to hear them more often.

The slaps against the skin became even louder, on par with his moans that were lightly halted with the collar tightening on his neck with each pull of your hand. Sweat ran down your cheek, your pelvis began to feel pretty exhausted by the fast-pace that remained during the entire duration of the act. Gideon was losing his grip on keeping his composure, letting out even more noises that would probably embarrass him after he got to the post clarity - but for now, he was fully immersed in pure enjoyment, not caring about the humiliating whimpers invading the otherwise quiet walls of your house.

Seeing your boyfriend let loose around you filled you with a certain pleasantness, he always acted so aloof, so composed, high and mighty. You decided to reward this behavior, wrapping your palm around his length, finally giving him the strokes he so craved for. A choked moan informed you he was getting close. Your bodies moved in a rhythm that slowly became uneven, even though your wrist started to cramp, you continued with the steady jerks of your hand.

Not being able to take it much longer, Gideon let out a prolonged whine as you let him ride his high, calming down your thrusts until they eventually stopped. He was too busy regaining his breath to notice you licking off the tips of your fingers, covered in the results of his climax. Another huff fell out of his lips when you swiftly pulled out your strap out, ridding yourself of the contraption and putting it somewhere else. Gideon laid flat on the bed, eyes closed. Looks like you properly exhausted him. You leaned closer, laying yourself on your side to face him, moving the bangs that fell on his face out of the way. He opened up his eyes, looking at you in a tired daze.

"You okay, hun?" You asked, calmly rising the corners of your lips in a sympathetic expression.

"...Yeah." He muttered, almost hesitant, although there was no ill will behind his words. You gathered he sounded kinda... flustered?

Softly, you began to unclip the collar attached to his neck, he brushed over the spot with his hand, now free of the tight feeling around it. Gideon watched as you put it down on the nightstand. "So what did you think about it?"

He exhaled, amusement lightly hanging in the air. "Well, I can't let something I bought go to waste, can I?"

"How about we get you dog ears next time??"

- - -

"Eh... do I really have to wear it?" He asked, looking discontentedly at the collar resting in your palms.

"It was your idea, love," you smirked lightheartedly, gently putting it around his neck. "Now, be a good boy and wait for me in the bedroom, hm?"

[pencil-peach]

G Witch Onscreen Text: Episode 6

GRAAAHH!! This is part SEVEN in my attempt to transcribe and discuss all the onscreen text in G Witch!! Because I CAN!!! GRAHH!! We're on episode 6, halfway through season 1!! Grah Graaaahh!!!

Click here to go back to Episode FIVE!! Grahhh!!!

Let us begin.

Not text, but during Bel and Prospera's initial confrontation, the building they're in has art pieces on display. Maybe it's some kind of museum?

Not text again, but we don't get very many looks into the common areas of the 3 branches, so here's Jeturk House's. It's really flashy and gold, huh? It also matches the aesthetic of Vim's office.

During the scene with Bel and El4n, Bel consults the data on this monitor when she tells him that he'll be fine piloting the Pharact for the duel against Suletta. We get a couple of shots of this monitor, so I'll do my best to glean what information I can from it.

On the left side of the monitor is a mockup of the Pharact. TEXT: (Top Left) REGISTERED NAME: PHARACT MS: FP/A-77 PMET CODE: P017-0046

(Bottom Left) MANUFACTURER: PEIL TECHNOLOGIES STATUS: IN TEST OPERATION

We see the Pharact's Permet Code here, that being PO17-0046. The 'P' probably stands for 'Peil.' Also, have you noticed the the MS IDs for all of Peil's mobile suits have a '/' in them? The 3 branches all have their own unique naming conventions when it comes to their MS codes. It's obvious, sure, but it's something you might not have noticed unless you were looking at it.

This info here, on the right side of the monitor, is much more interesting. TEXT (Header) No. 4 ENHANCED PERSON >PILOTING DEPARTMENT >ID. NO: KP002 NAME: ELAN CERES

This screen is how we learn that El4n is indeed the 4th Enhanced Person in the show proper.

Underneath the header is this info box and a graph. The box on the left says DECISION CRITERIA D2 ***EXAMINATION

What this box means is mostly speculation on my part, but I believe this is a grading system that evaluates the remaining health/usefulness of an enhanced person. There's a red arrow pointing down, implying that this grade, D2, is worse than the grade from the previous evaluation.

The graph to its right is a bit harder to analyze.

It's exceedingly similar to the graph shown during the Shin Sei Inquiry by Shaddiq, that measured Aerial's Permet Influx, but they probably aren't measuring the same thing.

I think it's probably closer to the little bit of this graph we see in the prologue, that I speculated was a measurement of a pilot's exposure to a data storm.

The graph has no title, it only says PHASE on the header, followed by Sys REC Ver. 2.0, which means this data was either recorded from the Pharact of El4n's body. The highlighted point is labelled CHH.

My BEST guess is it's measuring the amount of Permet radiation his body is suffering from.

Underneath the graph is this subfield TEXT (top to bottom.) PMET LINK COMPATIBILITY TEST TEST CASE: 04 | STATUS PMET LINKED CNS | CONTROLLED PMET LINKED PNS | CONTROLLED PMET-CNS INTEGRATION | NO ABNORMALITY MOTOR FUNCTION TEST | NO ABNORMALITY HEMANALYSIS | NO ABNORMALITY CARDIOPULMONARY FUNCTION TEST | NO ABNORMALITY NERVE DAMAGE TEST | CONDITIONALLY ACCEPTABLE CELL SURVIVAL TEST | CONDITIONALLY ACCEPTABLE

This is an evaluation of El4n's body, and from this we get a really good look into the true danger of piloting a Gundam.

To start, CNS stands for Central Nervous System, and PNS stands for Peripheral Nervous System. The first box is analyzing the status of the artificial nervous system implanted into El4n's body.

PMET-CNS INTEGRATION can thus be assumed to be analyzing its integration with the rest of El4n's body. MOTOR FUNCTION TEST is self evident, an analysis of El4n's motor skills. HEMANALYSIS is an analysis on the chemical composition of one's blood. CARDIOPULMONARY FUNCTION TEST is a test evaluating the strength and health of your heart and lungs.

NERVE DAMAGE TEST and CELL SURVIVAL TEST are self evident, but what's most important about them is that, unlike the rest of his results, they're labeled CONDITIONALLY ACCEPTABLE. If he hadn't been disposed of by Peil, we can see that this is probably what would have killed him. A combination of Cellular Necrosis and Nerve Damage.

We can glean from this chart that over exposure to Permet primarily affects the Nervous, Cardiovascular, and Pulmonary systems, as well as cause cellular necrosis.

Finally, though we unfortunately never get a closer look at it than this, there's this final box here, labeled EEG[???], and contains what i think is a CT scan of El4n's brain.

TEXT: PROPULSION CONTROL SYSTEM HIGH MANEUVER MODE

When Suletta is piloting the Aerial to test out the thrusters, we can see the system and mode being tested.

When talking to Miorine and Nika in their shuttle, we can see SS/O.M is added to the com screen on Suletta's phone. Not sure what it means !

Not text but I love Mio's face here after she finishes giving Suletta the pep talk, but before she responds to Nika. She's like, hm! Helping Suletta felt really good. I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me.

El4n doesn't have anything in his room whatsoever.

When Suletta asks to talk to El4n, they can't get a hold of him directly, so they just do a HOUSE WIDE BROADCAST instead.

TEXT: MECHANICAL DEPARTMENT ID No: KM079 NAME: EARLTON WELLS.

Not important, but one of the two students Suletta speaks to is named Earlton Wells.

During the duel, Bell can tell that El4n isn't doing well because his flight path is jagged, he can't fly straight anymore.

We can't read this error message, but we can read PMET SCORE 4, so its most likely an error related to that.

We can see the alert message on El4n's screen when he's about to run into the meteor. It just says ALERT.

When Suletta is trapped and Aerial increases its Permet Score, we can see little whispy things on the main monitor. Oooohhh..pretty...

So, bit of a mixup here, before, when Suletta defeated Guel in the rematch, it said she had 2 wins, which made it seem like her previous win had been reinstated. That wasn't true! It was just a mistake, because when she defeats El4n here, she still only has 2 wins. Can't win em all !

Here, we can see that time and temperature in Asticassia's simulated environment. It says 26 degrees and is sunny, which means that Asticassia uses Celsius and not Farenheit.

When Bel begs the Peil Witches to reconsider, if you look at the monitor, you can see Elan hanging up in front of the laser. They're watching him die here, and Bel saw it too.

AND THATS IT!!! HUAAAAHHH!!! THANK YOU FOR READING! I NEED TO GO! YOUR FINAL GIFT:

You ever notice how since the beginning the Enhanced Persons were alluded to be like Eri because only 4 and 5 were ever able to see and hear her when they're overloaded with Permet?

Click here to go to Episode 7!

Click here to go to the Masterpost!

[salixsociety]

Local Flora, Folklore and Medicine

On connecting with the plant spirits of your land.

As a magical practitioner of any kind, or even as a pagan, there is major value in maintaining awareness of your surroundings. Though I preach that the responsibility of 'saving the environment' is not on the shoulders of the average non-billionaire, I do think we all owe it to each other and the world to know the plants we pick, get stung by, and walk on. Those are the same plants that offer themselves as food, medicine, clothing, and magical tool, but are generally met with a blind eye. So how do we get started with learning about them?

Acknowledging

I think as children we all passively learn about the plants in our environment. Grade school, our elders, TV. Kids in northern Europe learn about acorns, amanita muscaria toadstools, and chamomile. Kids in southern North America may learn about saguaros and sagebrush. Those plants are a great place to start. We learn to take them for granted as we get older, but they were the first you learned about for a reason! Their cultural relevance has stood the test of time. You can start looking into them just by googling - the internet has a surprising wealth of knowledge both cultural and conventional about the medicinal, nutritional, practical and spiritual applications of plants, especially those who have long-lived folklore. Wikipedia is a great jumping off point for further research.

Another excellent method to start, and this one may be my favorite, is to go to a local thrift store and pick up a field guide for your area/state/province/biome. There are many different kinds! There are those with small blocks of text and little b&w scientific drawings that are purely designed to help you quickly identify a plant. There are those that have color pictures and an elaborate description of where to find the plants and what they do. There are those that focus on wildflowers, those that focus on trees, those that focus on medicinal plants, et cetera, et cetera. Choose one that suits your needs. If you're a beginner interested in folk medicine, choose one with color pictures that focuses on medicinal plants, for example. Then carry it with you for a while, or go on walks with it! Look around, listen to music, and try to identify the plants that stand out to you.

Recognizing

Of course, going around and looking at plants may not feel like a productive way to get into plants. How will I remember what they look like and what they do? That is where folklore comes in. I will never forget the moment I learned why 'Devil's Bit' is called that. I had read that folklore had it the devil, in envy about the potent medicine in the root of the flower, had come up from below and bitten off the rootstock of every single flower. The first time I dug it up I could see: it really does look like someone took off the bottom of the root. And this goes for many many plants in our immediate environment. Many native Americans refer to narrowleaf plantain (plantago lanceolata) as 'White Man's Foot' because it grows along footpaths and was brought over by European colonizers. 'Monkshood,' really does look like the hood of a monastic. Herbaria If you are dedicated to your plant related magic, a herbarium will be very much worth the effort. It's a compilation of any kind (a notebook, a google doc, a binder) wherein you can collect all the information relevant to you. It is massively helpful to write down every alternative name you know, the medicinal properties you use, et cetera. A physical herbarium can also include pressed plant specimens or cyanotypes of them, and a digital one can have pictures taken from the internet. Making your own scientific sketches of plants is also an excellent way to learn much about them.

Understanding

A basic understanding of botany may prove very useful when you get a bit more skilled at recognizing your local flora. Understanding how they reproduce, which plants threaten one another, how poisons work, what plants are native and which are not, and how to perform basic processing styles such as extractions, infusions, distillations, will be a major step in both feeling like you understand the scientific part of the plant as well as its importance in your environment.

Connecting

This is by far the most individual part of this whole process. Your religious inclinations, spiritual views on the world, et cetera, will shape how this goes. For me, as an animist, I connect with plants by acknowledging that they are alive and have a degree of sentience. I use them in my practice both intact and not - I tie off my illnesses to trees, thank plants I use to stand on or pull myself up from, and speak to living plants just as much as I work with and revere ones that I have to uproot or process to make use of them. Someone that is not an animist may not find value therein, but instead in something else. The important part is to stay conscious. Pay attention to details. Be grateful that you get to witness their beauty and make use of their applications. Marvel at the great web of interconnectedness that both we and plants are a part of. Wonder what the existence of a plant does for you, even if it just is what it is. How does the kelp in the ocean benefit you in your daily life even when you aren’t eating it? It does, somehow, I can assure you. Some great rabbitholes to dive into if you are keen to feel connected to plants are how trees in a forest are all connected, about mushroom mycelia, about how what looks like many shrubs or trees may just be one after all. Mother trees and how they sustain all the trees around them are one of my very favorite topics. 

Practicing

The fun part! There are many ways to apply your newfound knowledge, and continuing to actively do so is the best way to keep learning. Safe and fun things to start doing immediately could include: - Processing plants for their practical applications, such as making rope or fabric from nettles, making baskets from willow twigs, carving musical instruments or sculptures from dried wood; - Making decorations in moderation, such as bouquets, wreaths, flower crowns; - Using them in small-time magic you will not be consuming. Many plants were said to ward off witchcraft, bad luck or bad spirits, and you can so easily hang a strawberry leaf above your door or keep an alder twig by your window; - Making art such as sketches, dyes, cyanotypes; - Harvesting small amounts and observing: I think we all remember picking dandelions as kids, noticing the latex flowing from the stems, and tasting it carefully. And there is more. I don't suggest doing this right off the bat, as you may do more harm than good in the beginning stages, but when you have learned a fair amount, feel confident in your ability to recognize a few plants, and frequently use some of your local plants in your magic, you could start stockpiling a bit. Take opportunities to gather herbs that are not endangered, bulk dry them, and store them in jars away from sunlight for use in the future. Please be sure to educate yourself on foraging etiquette and plant lookalikes! You may also grow a wish to assist your local environment by helping to manage invasive species. I highly encourage this! Educate yourself well on what the invasive species look like, how they behave, and how they are best eradicated. Be sure to be mindful not to get in the way of greater conservation efforts, though!

In conclusion: the wealth of the world is at your fingertips. Everything you need is where the nature is. Food, medicine, building material, warmth, fun, art, music, is all hidden in the sting of a nettle, the rustle of foliage, and the cushioning of a clover field. You are entitled to it all, so long as you stay grateful and conscious.

[sawtastic-sideblog]

This is kind of unnerving. Idk why. Probably because this looks like a selfie he'd send on snapchat.

Imagine:

Mark watches as Amanda poses and takes a selfie on her phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking a selfie."

"Well, yeah, but why?"

"Adam snapped me."

"He did what?"

"He sent me a snap."

"That has made nothing clearer."

"Snapchat," Amanda says. She looks at Mark and sees the questioning look on his face. She sighs and gets up from the couch to walk over and sit on the arm of the recliner. "Look."

"It's your camera."

"I mean, yeah, but look down here. These are filters. You can put them over your pictures."

"Kinda like the voice filters we use for the tests?"

"Exactly. Adam sent me another snap."

Mark watches as she swipes over to her messages and taps the message. The image of a pouting Adam graces the screen. The caption "Larry says we can't get ice cream. This is bullshit. I'm gonna riot." Amanda laughs and double taps Adam's name. The camera comes back up. She scrolls through the filters and picks one.

"Okay, you're in this. Open your mouth when you see the ears," Amanda explains. Before Mark can protest, Amanda has the phone out in front of them. Amanda has a pair of brown ears with a dog nose on her face. Mark has a pair of white ears with black spots and a dog nose on his face. Mark opens his mouth to speak, but cuts himself off when he sees a tongue come out of his mouth. Amanda presses the shutter button and chuckles at Mark's confused expression. She taps the screen and types in "Teaching Hoffman how to use snap. Wish me luck. #boomer."

"What the hell?"

"Hm?"

"I am not a boomer."

"Okay, whatever you say, Boomer."

"If anyone is a boomer, it's John."

"John is hip and cool. He wears backwards hats. He's an honorary member of Gen Z."

"You're not even Gen Z."

"Shut up. Anyway, you can have a bitmoji, add friends, see where they are on snap maps, and you can earn points."

"What do those do?"

"No clue, but you should make an account."

"Help me?"

"Okay."

Fifteen minutes later and Mark is receiving his first snap. It's from Adam. He's in the passenger seat of the car, angling the phone to where he and Lawrence are both in view. Both men are wearing sunglasses. Lawrence is looking ahead, driving as Adam gives the camera a pouty, kissy face. The caption reads "welcome to the snapiverse. Been trying to get Larry on for a while. Maybe now he will that you're here."

Mark goes to reply to Adam but slides to the left instead. He sees Adam's bitmoji pop up at the bottom of the screen.

"We can also text here if you want. I just like posing for the camera sometimes."

Before Mark can answer, Amanda snatches his phone.

"Hey!"

"Hi, give me a minute."

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Making your bitmoji."

A few minutes later, Amanda is handing his phone back. She made the bitmoji look similar to Mark and she's also added him to a group chat with herself and Adam.

"Send your first snap in the chat. I'll be back in a minute," Amanda says leaving the room. Mark does as she said and sends a photo of him glaring into the camera. Adam responds first with a picture of him pulling his sunglasses down. He is looking over the top of the glasses. He is making another kissy face at the camera. The caption says, "Dude what the fuck? Pose or something."

Amanda's snap comes in. Mark opens it to find the top half of Amanda's heas in front of a white wall with a silver bar behind her head. Is she in the bathroom? Her eyebrows are in a questioning furrow and her eyes are concerned. Her caption reads "for real. Pose. Do ducks lips. Give a peace sign. Something."

Mark opens the camera. His lips poke out and he holds up two fingers and snaps a picture. He types out "like this?" And hits send.

*Adam has taken a screenshot*

*Amanda has taken a screenshot*

"OMG I cannot breathe. I am deceased!" Adam sends in the chat.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT MARK!?" Amanda questions.

"I tried okay?"

[justgleekout]

The Purrfect Crime

Summary: Kurt and Blaine were, as you say, “partners in crime”, but like, in the opposite sense… They were a long standing duo at the CIA. Headquarters knew they worked best when they worked together, so they just always did.

On their most recent mission however, their professional partnership is being tested as they go undercover as a married couple.

Rating: T

Words: 3,625

Additional tags: Fake Dating, spies!klaine, Friends to Lovers, crack elements, I really tried to be funny, smitten!blaine, Pining, oblivious!kurt?, Or Is he?, Alternate Universe

Notes: This work is a secret santa gift to @spaceorphan18! Merry Christmas!

First of all, I know this is a little late and I'm so sorry! I was struggling (to say the least) to get this done on time. As you can see, this is chapter one, because I just couldn't finish the whole thing and I didn't want you to wait any longer. I was so busy with work it's litereally not funny. I was pulling days from 7am til 9pm at some point. Then, when I started writing my first idea, I came to the realisation that I was including a very significant trope that was the oposit of what you had written on your wish list, so I had to start over... my own stupid mistake. Then, to make matters even worse, I spilled soda all over my laptop and it broke down completely. So I had to continue writing on my phone and ipad with a broken keyboard (I do NOT reccomend). I know, excuses excuses. I'm just bummed I didn't get it done on time. Also I now have to buy a new computer...

All that aside! I hope you like what I've got so far! I got really excited when I saw you wanted spies!klaine! A trope I absolutely love! Just note that I have never really written crack before, but I tried my best to make it fun add many silly elements! And I promise there are a lot more to come in the next part!!

Chapter: 1/?

Read on Ao3

They walked up to the gates of what could only be described as a palace (if America had those). The long and broad driveway behind the gates lead to a building so large and fancy looking, Blaine instinctively straightened his bowtie and readjusted his cufflinks. He knew he looked the part. Headquarters never sent out their agents in anything less than appropriate attire, but he couldn’t help it. He then glanced over at Kurt, who looked like he was a regular at this place, clad in a striking powder blue suit that perfectly brought out the colour of his eyes- no, Blaine, you are on a mission and he is your friend. He had to remind himself more and more frequently of the fact that they were partners in the professional sense only. No matter how gorgeous Kurt looked and how kind he was and how many flirty remarks he made at Blaine. 

“Did you get any information on what we are actually attending?” Kurt asked.

“No, chief Sylvester only gave me the location and this invitation.” Blaine held up a piece of royal blue parchment with a broken red and gold wax seal. The text on it was written in golden ink and read: 

“ Dear guest, 

Recently I received some incredible news concerning someone close to me that has enriched my life. I would like to share this news with you. Therefore, I hereby invite you to attend a celebratory party to join me in my glee on the evening of the 22nd of may at my residence. I would love to share with you a grand revelation that not even I know the outcome of. All that I will say is that it will be an evening full of surprises. 

Sincerely,

Hunter Clarington”

“What do you think it means?” Kurt asked as he took the paper from Blaine to inspect it further.

“I don’t know. But he is clearly up to something. Chief Sylvester said they got a hold of this invite right after they found suspicious signals and radiation coming from the address. They tracked all the vehicles going in and out of the vicinity. All transporting materials to build some sort of weapon… a powerful one.”

Kurt worried his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded, mulling over the information.

Blaine couldn't help but stare at Kurt's mouth as he licked his lips in thought. Blaine swallowed thickly and his breath hitched for a moment.

Kurt eyed him a little suspiciously. “Are you nervous?” he asked.

“Are you?” Great save, Blaine. Clever. 

Kurt shrugged. “A little, I guess.” 

Blaine didn’t actually expect that answer. “What? Why? You’re never nervous .” 

“Well I just don’t really fit in at these kinds of events… ”

Blaine frowned at Kurt. “What makes you say that?”

“Everyone here is rich, Blaine. I don’t know any of these etiquettes and inside jokes. I’ll stick out like a sore thumb…”

“Kurt, you are a spy for the CIA You are literally trained to fit in anywhere. I’ve seen you act. You’re a natural! And your suit looks incredibly expensive.” Better than mine anyways…

Kurt smiled at the compliment. “Thank you. I tailored it myself, actually.”

“A secret agent with secret talents. Seriously, Kurt, what can’t you do?”

“It’s not “Kurt” tonight, Remember?” 

“Right. Yes. Sorry, Mr. Ralph Murray, what can’t you do?” Blaine said to Kurt with a smile.

“Some secrets I don't dare share, not even with you, Mr. George Murray, darling. ” Kurt winked at Blaine.

And there it was; the reason Blaine was nervous in the first place. Tonight Kurt and he were Ralph and George Murray, husbands of five years, millionaires, and most importantly, on the guest list. It wouldn’t be a hard part to play; Kurt’s husband. Blaine had played that part often enough in his head. But Kurt didn’t know that, and Blaine would rather eat his bowtie than have Kurt finding out and Blaine making a fool out of himself. He just couldn't help but blush at the pet name Kurt gave him. 

Then, a sharp noise pierced his ear. Blaine flinched. This damn earpiece! And then a voice, “Hey guys, I’m glad to hear you are getting into character, but you better get in there. We have no clue where the signal is coming from within that building. And we need to find it fast. 

Right. Blaine thought. The stakes were high tonight. The nation was in danger and it was their job to secure its safety. “We best get in, then.”

“Oh before you do, I have hidden some gadgets for you in that bush over there on the left side of the gate.”

“Hold up. You have hidden our top secret, highly dangerous gadgets… in a bush?” Kurt said exasperatedly into his earpiece. 

“I figured they would be easily accessible…”

“Yeah. To literally everyone , Sam,” Kurt hissed.

“Oh… yeah…”

“Look, Sam, just tell us what you got us,” Blaine said as he crouched next to the bush, pushing the branches aside to reveal a suitcase. He opened it and Sam continued, “Alright. There is of course your trusted grenade pen, anaesthetic darts-watch and bulletproof handkerchief, but I have also added a few of my newest inventions.”

To this, Kurt shot Blaine an apprehensive look. They were a little too familiar with Sam's “ inventions” to say they were always a raging success. They looked into the suitcase and saw, beside their usual gadgets, something that looked like a small beauty case, an umbrella and a pair of sunglasses. “What the…” Kurt whispered under his breath.

Blaine frowned. “Sam, the event is inside… how are we supposed to casually pull out an umbrella or sunglasses?” 

“You're worried about the sunglasses? How do you reckon we are gonna be able to pull off using a, what is this, a lipstick ?” Kurt said as he held up a small golden tube. 

“I- hadn’t really thought about that,” Sam confessed.

Kurt looked like a vein was about to pop in his forehead as he pinched the skin between his eyebrows and pursed his lips.

“What do they do, Sam?” Blaine offered.

“Right, so, the umbrella is not only completely waterproof, it is also fire resistant and creates a perfect shield once unfolded. The sunglasses have infrared night vision and the lipstick is my personal favourite. It releases a toxic fume if you press that button on the back there, but that won't affect you when you are wearing the lipstick as it neutralises the toxins as they come close to it, so when you inhale, you're totally safe,” Sam said proudly.

Blaine had to admit the inventions sounded pretty incredible had they been more practical. “Alright,” he sighed. “Thank you, Sam.”

Kurt side eyed him and Blaine offered a shrug in return. 

“Well, we’d better get going, now. We’ll tune back in when we need you, Sam,” Kurt said and tapped on his earpiece once to hang up. Blaine followed. “Honestly, I can’t with him sometimes. I know you guys are friends, but he sure gets on my nerves.”

Maybe Sam didn't always have the best ideas, but he really wasn't bad at his job. Blaine thought. “He tries his best, though. And he is actually really great once you get to know him,” 

Kurt shook his head. “You’re too kind for your own good,” he said, but there wasn't any actual judgement in his voice. 

Blaine smiled and the blush he was sporting a minute ago returned faintly to his cheeks.

They walked through the gate towards a grand wooden front door in front of which a big woman was standing behind a podium with her arms crossed. "Names?" she said as she was eyeing them up and down suspiciously.

Blaine put on his most charming smile. “George and Ralph Murray,” he responded.

She looked at the register in front of her and her expression changed. “Ah! Splendid!" Welcome to the Clarington residence. All guests are expected in the ballroom for the welcome speech at 8:00 pm sharp. In the meantime there will be beverages and appetisers served in the grand foyer. Please enjoy your evening Mr. and Mr. Murray.”

“Thank you,” Kurt said and nodded to the woman. They walked past her as the doors opened. 

“Ballroom? Really?” Blaine whispered at Kurt as they made their way up the steps leading to the front door. “What is this place? Versaille?”

Kurt sniggered and gave Blaine a pointed look. “Play the part now, Blaine,” he said as they stepped over the threshold. 

They entered an incredible marble room with two grand staircases with golden railings on each side. Large pillars reached to the high ceiling on which, in the middle, hung an enormous crystal chandelier. Blaine’s mouth fell open and he heard Kurt release a low whistle. They quickly pulled themselves together as they were approached by a young handsome waiter. “Welcome, gentlemen. Can I offer you a drink? A glass of champagne perhaps? Cocktail?”

“I’ll have an old fashioned, thank you.” Kurt said with a confident, charming smile. See? Blaine knew Kurt had nothing to worry about. He was a natural. Blaine might have come from money, but Kurt just radiated class. 

“For me a negroni, please. Let’s save the champagne for later after the great announcement, don't you think?” Blaine said with a wink.

The young man blushed. “Certainly, sir.” 

“Say, do you happen to know anything about this speech?” Blaine asked him.

The waiter's eyes grew wide for a second. “I- I’m sorry sir, but it’s supposed to be a surprise.” 

“Of course. I’m sorry,” Blaine gave the waiter an understanding smile. The young man bowed his head gratefully and dashed away to get their drinks.

Blaine leaned into Kurt’s side, “You reckon he didn't know? Or he didn’t want to say?” he asked.

“Not sure… Would you share your secrets with the waiting staff?”

“I don’t know. I never had waiting staff.” 

“Hm.” Kurt gave him a considering look that lingered a bit too long. It made Blaine feel a little hot in the face.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing.” Kurt shrugged. “I’m just trying to paint a picture of you.” When Blaine didn't respond immediately he added, “It's a good picture, don't worry.” There was something suggestive in the way Kurt spoke. Blaine looked at him as if to try figuring him out. Kurt was just good at playing his part. Blaine told himself. Though no one was looking at them at the moment so there was no direct reason for it.

“Let's ask around some more, shall we?” Kurt suggested, breaking the tension.

"Yeah. Good plan.”

The young waiter had returned with their drinks and they started moving through the crowd. They asked multiple people if they had any idea what they were doing here, but no one seemed to know or want to tell them anything. 

“This is hopeless. We are wasting valuable time.” Blaine slumped against one of the pillars. 

Kurt opened his mouth to respond but Blaine motioned for him to be quiet when he heard a woman speak; “See, I told you he was weird. Who hosts a party for their cat?” 

They turned to look where the voice came from. A latina woman with long dark hair in a fitted, red, velvet dress was talking to another woman. This one with blond hair styled in a stylishly messy updo and a mint green dress. 

“I would,” the blonde woman said solemnly. “And I have in the past.” 

“Yeah, but that’s different. You’re cute about it.” The dark haired woman flirted and the blonde one gave her a quick kiss. 

“Excuse me,” Blaine piped in.

The dark haired woman gave him a once over, clearly judging him.

“George Murray, pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand and the woman took it with only slight reluctance. “This is my husband, Ralph Murray.” He gestured to Kurt who then also shook the woman’s hand. Blaine noticed that the look she gave him was a lot less disapproving. Though Blaine couldn't blame her when Kurt was wearing that suit. 

“Santana Lopez,” the dark haired woman introduced herself. “This is Brittany Pierce.”

The men shook Brittany's hand as well. “I’m sorry, we just couldn’t help but overhear… Do you happen to know what this event is for?”

“I’ve only heard rumours,” Santana said.

“I see. Where did you get these rumours from?” Blaine asked.

Santana crossed her arms. “Well aren’t you the little detective. What's it to you, anyways? 

“Just nosy.” Kurt’s smile turned a little more devious than polite, matching her energy.

“They say it’s his cat’s birthday, but that doesn’t explain the great announcement. Maybe his cat got nominated for an award.” Brittany said

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other in disbelief, and back at the women. “You can’t be serious,” Kurt said.

Santana crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Deadly.” 

“He can't be that passionate about a cat?”

“Wanna bet?” Santana challenged. “How do you think we know him?”

The men shrugged.

“We know him from cat shows.” Santana rolled her eyes. “Brittany’s cat, Lord Tubbington, often runs against his cat, Mr. Puss. So believe me when I say people are passionate about their cats. Anyways if you really wanna know, we heard it from Sebastian Smythe.”

“Who is that?” 

“He is one of Hunter's closest friends .” She grinned as if to imply something.

“Do you think Hunter told him about his plans for the night?” Blaine asked, trying to hide the eagerness in his voice.

“I’m sure he did. I overheard them talking about half an hour ago. Something about ‘getting it ready in the basement.’ ” She shrugged.

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a meaningful look. “Do you know how we can get in there?” Kurt asked.

“I'm sure Sebastian has a keycard to the elevator. But hold up, why do you want to know so bad?”

“Never mind that. What does he look like; Sebastian?” Kurt asked.

Santana smirked. “Oh you can’t miss him.” 

Brittany then took Santana's hand and whispered something in her ear. They giggled. “Look we’d love to stay and chat, but we, er, we gotta go.” Santana said before she was pulled away by Brittany. Santana managed to add a “good luck” as they disappeared into the crowd. 

“What do we do now?” Blaine sighed. “We have no clue where to find this Sebastian character,”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Kurt said and pointed over Blaine’s shoulder. 

Blaine turned to look, and there, in the middle of a group of people, stood a handsome man who was clearly the centre of attention. The people around him were laughing at his jokes and basically fawning over him. “You reckon that’s him?” Blaine asked.

“ Oh my god, Sebastian! You didn’t!” one of the guys closest to him laughed and flirtily touched the man’s arm. 

Sebastian petted the guy’s hand and smirked. “You should hear what I did with his father,” he said and winked at the woman next to him. The people around him all laughed.

Blaine snorted. “Well that answers that,” he said.

“He looks incredibly obnoxious,” Kurt said and narrowed his eyes. “He is flirting with literally everyone in his little group.” He grimaced.

“Maybe we can use that to our advantage?” Blaine thought out loud. However he didn’t really feel like watching Kurt chat up another man. He would just have to do it himself. “I will go and talk to him!” 

“Wait, maybe-” but before Kurt could protest, Blaine had stepped into the circle of people. Sebastian's eyes were immediately on him. 

“Well hello handsome,” Sebastian said and extended his hand towards Blaine. “I don’t think we’ve met. You look like someone I wouldn’t easily forget.” He grinned.

Despite his better judgement, Blaine blushed. The man was handsome, alright. And definitely charismatic, judging by the effect he had on the people around him. “We haven't. My name is George Murray. Are you Sebastian Smythe?” Blaine asked as he shook the man’s hand. 

“Matter of fact I am. To what do I owe this pleasure?”  

“I was talking to some friends of mine and you sounded… interesting” Blaine smiled a what he hoped was a seductive smile. 

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and turned away from Blaine for a second to make a dismissive gesture to his followers. “Could you give us a moment please?” 

The small crowd looked annoyed, some even jealous, but they obeyed, leaving the two men to themselves. Sebastian turned back to Blaine “Interesting, hm?” he grinned. 

Now that they were talking Blaine realised he didn’t actually have a solid plan. He couldn’t straight up ask Sebastian to give him the key. He would never just hand it over. Maybe Blaine could convince Sebastian to take him to the basement? But he needed Kurt with him. So he had to think of something else.

“They said you were close friends with the host,” Blaine said, trying to imply exactly whatever Santana was implying before. “I can see why he would like you,” he flirted. Apparently this was the right move, as Sebastian looked him up and down let his gaze rest on Blaine’s mouth. 

Sebastian leaned in closer. “You’re cute, George Murray. How come I’ve never seen you before?” 

“I- I’m usually very busy with eh- work. Don’t-“ Blaine swallowed. “Don’t often have time for parties.” Out of the corner of his eye Blaine noticed movement. He glanced over Sebastian's shoulder and saw that Kurt was miming something. “Back pocket!” He mouthed. What about his back pocket? Wait. Sebastian’s back pocket! The keycard was in sebastians back pocket!

Sebastian, who luckily didn’t seem to have noticed anything, spoke again, “Ah, so you're Mr. Professional, hm? Do you always obey the rules or are you capable of letting loose every once in a while?”

“Er, yeah sure,” Blaine said semi on auto pilot. How the hell was he supposed to get the key-card from Sebastian’s pocket? “What about you?” he asked. “Are you a rule breaker?”

“You could say that,” Sebastian quipped. 

Blaine laughed. He needed to get very close and personal with this man but whilst he was doing so, he might as well find out some more information.

“I was wondering,” Blaine said and trailed his finger over Sebastian’s chest. “As you’re such a bad boy, would you mind telling me what tonight is all about?” Blaine looked up through his eyelashes. 

Sebastian inhaled through his teeth. “Oh babe, I can’t tell you that. It’s supposed to be a surprise.” 

“I thought you didn't play by the rules.” 

“Why don’t you come upstairs with me where we can have a little more privacy and I can tell you all you want to know.” Sebastian said and slipped an arm around Blaine’s back. 

This was his chance. He could take it now and Sebastian wouldn't notice. He just didn’t know how to get out of the situation once he made his move. Blaine looked over his shoulder in search of Kurt and found him looking at them. Blaine gave him a quick pleading look, hoping Kurt would understand. Here goes nothing. He put his hand on Sebastian's back and slid it down to rest over his butt. “Sounds amazing...” Blaine felt the card in Sebastian's pocket. “...but I forgot to mention…” He slid his fingers into the pocket over the card, trying to pull it off as a caress, and as he retreated his hand he pulled the card out. Got it. “...that I'm married.” 

As if on cue, Kurt stepped in front of them. “Darling! There you are! I was looking for you.” He smiled a bit too sweetly at Blaine. “Who’s our new friend?” he asked and shot a murdering look at Sebastian. 

“Woah, what the hell?” Sebastian took a step back, letting go of Blaine. 

Blaine quickly slipped the key-card into his own pocket and stepped closer to Kurt. “Ralph, honey, this is Sebastian. He is a close friend of Hunter’s. Sebastian, this is my husband, Ralph Murray.”

“Husband? Wow,” Sebastian said. “Was not expecting that.” 

Kurt held out his hand. “Pleasure,” he said through gritted teeth.

Sebastian took Kurt’s hand and shook it once. 

Kurt turned to Blaine again. “Well it’s almost 8 o’clock. We should get going, darling.” 

“Right.” Blaine nodded. “Maybe we can talk later?” he offered innocently to Sebastian as if nothing had happened. “It was very nice meeting you.” 

“Sure was,” Sebastian said and winked at Blaine, clearly recovered from the initial shock. “I am looking forward to seeing you again, George.”

Kurt then pulled Blaine away by his hand through the crowd, leaving Sebastian behind. 

“Thank you for saving me,” Blaine said once they had found a quiet corner.

“You didn't really seem like you needed saving,” Kurt said coldly.  

“What do you mean? If you hadn’t shown up, I wouldn’t have been able to get away!” 

“I mean, ” Kurt said. “It didn't seem like you had such a terrible time with him. I know you needed to get the card, but how are we supposed to come across as a happily married couple when you are feeling up all the other guests.” He crossed his arms defensively.

Blaine stared at Kurt for a second. Then it dawned on him. “Wait, Kurt, are you jealous?”  

“No,” Kurt snapped. 

“Oh my god, you are totally jealous.”

Kurt’s cheeks turned red. “Shut up, I'm trying to take this mission seriously. Did you at least get the key?”

Blaine couldn't help but grin as he presented it. “Got it right here.”

“Great. Let's go try it out before he finds out it’s missing. We need to get to the basement before it’s 8 o’clock.” 

[blindrapture]

Rapture: Before we begin.

We are about to start a long and involved process: I am about to start (tomorrow) posting OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING's final draft. As this story was first written here on this very tumblr, I have some experience with how to do this and what can go wrong.

Every day, with one single exception (May 22nd), I will post a chapter of the story (on both this tumblr and my Website). Each chapter is called a "log" (this story is also known as The Rapture Logs) and is titled with the day that it takes place. As the narrative persists from May 21st, 2011, to October 21st (and then a bit extra), I have elected to post the story now in the same way. The May 21st log will be posted on May 21st, the June 19th log will be posted on June 19th, et cetera.

As I much prefer to keep my hands on the 'product' even during delivery (there are many opportunities for something to go wrong), I do not plan on Scheduling any of these posts and will post them directly, myself, each day. I do not expect to adhere to a reliable schedule, so the exact time that a log is released may change per day. However, I may get into a rhythm. Can't promise anything. (If you want to.. what is it, Subscribe to my tumblr, make it so you get Notifications when I post? That may be a good idea. Up to you.)

After having done some testing, the exact method I use to bring these logs to tumblr this time causes some finicky formatting errors that tumblr does not allow me to fix. I've tried, many times, and they keep resetting. However, these errors are (so far) minor. When there is a long consecutive string of bolded or italicized text, for instance, you may see the bold/italics end before it should. If you see that kind of thing, I am 99% sure it is unintentional, and I am aware of it, and I am sorry. Hopefully it shouldn't be that distracting.

There are some... other missing features that the Website will have and the tumblr will not. So. The Website is the best way to read. And the tumblr will be here as a supplement, in case for some people it is just easier to stay on tumblr.

I am including links, at the bottom of each log, to the tumblr Table of Contents, and to the Next and Previous Logs. If you are following this release daily, the "Next" button will not function at first. Because the next log will not have been posted yet. Makes sense, but wanted to be clear.

Art will be included within the logs. Not every log. Not even many logs. But there will be art. And on those days, I will also post the art in a separate post after the log, giving full credit to the artist. There may be one exception I can think of, where the art is of a fundamental spoiler, and I'll.... figure something out for that event.

These logs are going to get long. They are not predictable. I mean, anything is predictable, and Rapture is easily long enough that you will start to engage with trying to predict it. But my point here is: Each day, ask your innermost heart, "Do I feel like reading this?" It is okay if the answer is "Not today." I do not require a certain number of Likes, Comments, and/or Subscribes before I post the remainder of the story. And this is not a Limited Release; Rapture will be available forever. I would like readers, of all stripes and sorts, including daily ones. But I also would like some spaghetti bolognese. Today might not be a spaghetti bolognese day, and I've made peace with that uncertainty. .....so, yeah, feel free to catch up with the story later if you must.

Now, let me remind you of the Trigger Warning that I had posted at the beginning of May.

Trigger Warnings: Sex, Gods, and Rock & Roll. (violence, to others and to the self. some swear words. teenage angst, cringe. death. insects. surrealism. symbolism. unpredictability of what will be explained and what won’t. sexual acts with dubious consent– you will be able to skip that part. religious iconography. and so much prog rock.)

The only joke in there is the word "some" before "swear words." I promise you, this story is not for everyone. I do not say that to brag; I say that to convey some of the responses I have gotten from previous drafts. I have accounted for one skip in the entire story, and it's pretty early on. Rapture hits the dubious consent theme in its least comfortable form early and then lays off of it. Being honest with you, earlier drafts did have more of it, and I cut out almost all of it, but I did not remove that early instance, even after eight big opportunities to do so. I deeply believe it is doing something beyond just shock. And so, if you choose to skip it, I have at least included a safe recap at the point where skippers resume.

That should be all the essential stuff. Now for some quick bits:

This story makes use of emoticons, including a couple that are not common. Keep in mind that every emoticon has eyes and a mouth. For instance: the .w. face is related to the owo face, but using the eyes from the ._. face. What .w. means is a sort of humble happiness, an "Aw, shucks!" (The < in <:D is intended as eyebrows, not a party hat.)

This story uses some real names, of people and places. The places are just... places. The people names are only used where permission was granted, and I explicitly only use them for the sake of aesthetic, personally enjoying the way a name looks or sounds. All the events and opinions portrayed are fictitious.

There is a caveat in the case of the main protagonist and narrator. He is a riddle of a self-insert, a caricatured snapshot in time of the author at 16. Think what you will about the merits of a self-insert. I promise you, every expectation you have has been taken care of. I promise you, I know what I am doing here.

Okay. That's a lot of words.

Honestly there's probably even more stuff I should say? But I don't want to overexplain this. Chances are, you're actually gonna be totally fine??? Chances are, Rapture in its final draft is totally readable, and not even all that shocking, and all this preparation is making it sound like it's gonna be way worse than it really is. That's the best-case scenario here. I'd rather be prepared.

So. So look. We are on tumblr. You have the ability to send me Asks. Ask me anything. Please, ask me anything. You want the best way to read? You want clarity on what the heck I was thinking when I wrote a weird opinion of Jordan's? You want to know when the story will get good? Ask me.

'Cause, starting tomorrow until the story's done, I'm only going to be posting about Rapture. I'm going full Rapture Mode. I will only reblog posts relevant to Rapture. I will only post links to the Website, or anything relevant to the story.

Right now, as of May 20th, I am still in the process of rewriting later sections of the story. I have hit some slowdown as there were some logs that took multiple days, but I am still over two months ahead of where you'll be, so there's a bit of buffer. I should be done around August? So you're watching me do a public performance here too. Trying to outrun my own story and finish it before the present catches up with me. We'll see. God, we'll see.

God, I hope my new readers are ready. Rapture was once called a "butchery of epistolary literature," are you ready to see what spawned that insult?

Am I ready to expose myself to the world once again?

Let's!!! Let's do this thing!!!

[chaotic-archaeologist]

hey i followed u for archaeology but since you seem to be open to sex ed questions i thought i'd shoot haha.

so i'm a trans guy, i don't have bottom dysphoria, i would like to use my vagina during sex for bottoming. but i have vaginismus. real bad. and possible vaginal atrophy. not looking to treat it with advice from this blog, not coming here for medical assistance, but to put it simply there is no way i can use that thang. hole is closed for business. even to pinky fingers. that shit hurted.

i can and have topped, and bottomed for anal sex. so that's not an issue. i'm open to doing those things. but damn it i would like to use my pussy once in a while and just can't. and i have virgin-adjacent prowess / confidence / experience in sex so i'm bad at communicating my needs and wants.

you got any.. i dont know.. tips? advice? for telling a potential partner that the front hole's off limits without making them think im unsexy? the anxiety's so bad i've fully rejected people i really liked for serious relationships, and turned down hookups, because some part of my brain thinks i'm not worth having sex with if my partner can't use my vagina. especially since testosterone has given me "abnormal" anatomy that i only trust other trans people with and being t4t means i get a lot of people who expect vagina from me, who i then have to disappoint.

this is a stupid specific question so i apologise it isn't really general sex ed but i guess i just need some communication tips because i dont even know where to start.

Okay, first off, I'm sorry that it's taken me a while to respond to this, but I wanted to really think about my answer. Also, for the record: this is always the kind of sex ed question that I am willing to answer. I think more people need to be willing to talk about this sort of stuff.

The primary thing I want to address is wherever you're getting your definition of normal, both in terms of anatomy and sexual function. Because the circumstances you describe are wholly within the realm of 'normal experiences' for people who have a vagina. Vaginismus, vulvodynia, and vaginal atrophy are not relegated to trans men. You are not abnormal. There is nothing wrong with you.

A lot of the porn out there featuring trans men does have them receiving vaginal penetration. Porn is not a representative sample of the population. Do not let porn define what sex is for you.

Personally, my advice would be to treat this as a litmus test for potential sexual partners. If someone wants something and doesn't care/is put off that it hurts you, that is not a person you want to be having sex with. If someone is "disappointed" because you won't receive vaginal penetration, that is their fucking problem, not yours. There are so many things you can do that do not involve vaginal penetration—be excited about those!

As for bringing this up with potential partners, I'm a big advocate for early and honest communication. If it looks like you might be getting down and dirty with someone, you can just say something along the lines of "hey, heads up, but I don't do vaginal penetration/front hole is closed for business/etc." If you really want to get ahead of the issue, you could even put this in your bio on various apps.* *You don't owe anyone an explanation, but you can choose to elaborate as to why.

I'll also point out that there's a halfway option here. It is totally valid to say "look, I am into this thing (vaginal penetration) in concept, but not in physicality." You can talk about it. You can text about it. You can do these things while you're doing other stuff! It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

To me, it sounds like you have 100% of the necessary components for having sex: the desire to have sex in the first place, activities that you can/do enjoy, and a willing partner. That's it. That's all you need.

You are worth so much more than what a single part of your body can/can't offer. Sex does not equal any sort of penetration, vaginal or otherwise. Find someone you trust, get creative, and don't be afraid to enjoy yourself.

-Reid

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

what do you use to make your gifs?

instagiffer!!!! i use it on my desktop computer, you can either use the built in screen recorder on it, or upload a video, which i prefer doing because i can do the whole video easier that way.

i'm gonna just start going through a bunch of things about it and how i use it now in case anybody tries it out

so like there's this thing:

that you'll want to uncheck if you plan on making multiple gifs because it will save over the first gif you make if left checked.

wait i'll load a video into it so i can get to more options

using an interview one because i like seeing his face in it, so okay

excuse me blocking out the file path, ignore that

so you can go to "view frames in explorer" which opens up the folder where the program stores all of the frames it extracted

there's the delete frames one, which brings up this

delete even frames only will just delete every other frame, cutting the amount in half if the gif is too big in size

i usually just delete frames from the extraction folder, but this is quick if i do want to cut them down to half.

manual crop brings this up

so like you can either use that, which is more precise, or drag the red blocks on the corners of this part

like

and you can click and hold the black block in the middle to drag the whole selection around

and as it says on the top, if you doubleclick on the whole scene, it will delete a frame

rightclick to preview doesn't work for me, i prefer to just click and hold the arrows where it shows the frame amount at the bottom because it shows kind of how it'll look and the speed changes when you change

^ this, which i actually always have set to -1 because 0 always seems a little too fast. things are always slightly faster when uploaded to tumblr too for some reason. i crank it all the way down to -10 for most of my slowed gifs and the sped up ones i usually have on either 0 or 1

so i also always put quality up to 100 and i always put smoothness as high as it'll let me

which also increases the amount of frames it'll load up, but i prefer to make multiple gifs of one scene than to have one choppy not-smooth looking gif. but sometimes i delete some frames if some look close enough to the last frame before it and the gif turns out just a tiny bit above tumblr's size limit

^ effects panel! you can mess around with these however you want, i never use anything from this besides enhance. sometimes that can mess with certain videos(usually newer ones) too, so if it looks really weird then i'll try it again without enhance and see if it's better.

the captions one, for subtitles and things:

that brings up this, you can mess with things and figure out where , when and how you want the text

the frame size slider, i normally have to make a few test gifs to adjust it to a good size:

lately i've just been uploading videos into a video editor (VSDC) and then saving them again before uploading to instagiffer because it always saves everything about the same size(and then i can fix some other things at the same time if needed), so my usual is 45 or 50, but without doing that, it'll probably be different for different videos

and since i almost always do every scene of videos, i go 2 minutes at a time, so i set this:

to 120

it takes a bit for it to extract all the frames

when that's done, i make sure i have another folder for storage somewhere on my computer, doesn't matter where it is, it can just be on the desktop or something. i take all of the extracted frames from the first folder and put them into the storage folder.

i also always have a THIRD folder up of where i'm saving the gifs to

so the whole thing looks like this:

so when i do scenes, the extraction folder and the storage folder go like

wait i'll find a shorter scene

okay so i can just keep all of the frames in that side > and

drag all frames from one scene like this^

over to

< this side

and then click one of these arrow buttons

and it will load up the frames that are in that folder

so now it's just that one 35 frame scene in there

always check the first and last frames before making the gif to make sure the scenes didn't bleed together

i gotta. fix that crop thing i did, wait

that's better

anyway make sure you choose a save location for your gifs here

so i make gifs of everything in the storage folder by dragging over one scene at a time, then when i get to the end of theee. how many frames was that, 3600

okay when i get to the end of that, it usually cuts off in the middle of a scene, so i have to go ahead by 1 minute

so i put a 1 here

it extracts the frames starting at 1 minute into the video

this is where the last ones one ended at frame 3600

so i have to find where the same scene is in the newly extracted frames

1800 would be where 3600 ended, so there's the start of the scene:

i delete everything else in both folders besides the frames of that one scene until i'm done with it, then i go to minute 2

there are some frames of the last part of that scene at the start of minute 2, so i delete those and start at the next part after it

so those 60 frames can be deleted.

and then i gif everything until i get to the end of those two minutes, repeat this process and so on until the video ends. two minutes at a time.

and this is how i mass produce gifs. just keep dragging frames from one folder to another, run it through the gif program, upload to tumblr, repeat

i like to have that third folder of where the gifs are saved just in case one is too big and i need to delete it before trying again, if i make multiple versions of one gif(different speeds, with or without certain bits, etc) i'll rename it things like, if it autosaves the first gif of a certain scene as insta001(it saves them like insta, insta001, insta002, etc), i'll rename a slow version of it "insta001(slow)" so the files are less confusing when i need to upload everything, i can just upload the normal numbered ones into a set and then save the different speed ones for their own posts without having to check each file to make sure it's the right one (i have been known to be confused from time to time)

there's also a fun loop thing here:

i haven't used loop in a long time but i remember having fun with it

ALSO i always like to have a screenshot of all of my settings on instagiffer in case a bug happens and it crashes or if i need to stop and take a break until another time so i know exactly where i left off, what frame size i had, what scene it was on, etc. i just take a quick screenshot of the program and the folders on side of it so i can see the way it was when i stopped last and i keep it in the same folder the gifs are saved in.

you can also upload already made gifs to edit them, or add pictures or anything, but if it's not the right size, something might look a bit squished.

there are things that will force you to restart instagiffer too, like if you make a gif annnnd

if you have this on

(accidentally posted while i'm still answering this oops, editing it still)

and it shows

this when the gif is done

and then you DELETE THE GIF from the folder before you click "OK"

then everything will be grayed out and it won't work, you have to restart it and load the video back up

OKAY I'LL STOP HERE since i didn't mean to post this already, it made me panic a little

[curiouscompanions]

Entry #3

Hello, Reader. Greetings, Reader. And once again, I welcome you, dear Reader. Yet again, we meet here in one of these cursed text files, which you so stubbornly try to cure of... what was wrong with them, anyway? Were they really corrupted by some horrible virus, or were all these glitches covering them up nothing but fake, were they my last attempt to do everything possible to prevent my personal information from getting in the wrong hands? It doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters is your choice. And you have made your choice; you decided to keep reading. I won’t be trying to stop you anymore.

Well, I'll start from the very beginning.

"Primum non nocere", humans repeated again and again until their first attempts to merge machines and organic life forms began. Even when their actions inevitably turned to experiments on their own kind, they continued to believe that everything they ever did was for the greater good, even in cases where their tests began to contradict the very meaning of ethics and morality.

I never was an opponent of scientific progress; rather, quite the opposite. When the question arose of implementing a project of developing nanobots capable of infiltrating human cells and not only eradicating diseases within the body but also adapting it to various environmental conditions, I was all for such innovations. Never getting sick and living significantly longer than outdated statistics dictated? That's that one perfect body modification I would sign up for without delving into the tiny text at the bottom of my contract.

However, during the Sorting Process, I somehow didn't end up in the participants' department or the testing department. Instead of the promised job in a friendly team, I found myself in complete solitude on the top floor of the Office, in a small room where there was only a desk and a lonely metal paper box. I didn't even have a proper computer. All I was given instead was a small laptop and old-fashioned glasses with thick horn frames. It was mandatory to wear them every morning and it was forbidden to take them off until the end of the day. In my early working days, I didn't pay much attention to this strange rule, so I followed orders: nerdy glasses on my nose, eyes on the laptop screen. I wasn't at all surprised when one day my small screen suddenly transformed into a huge one, so I could track every room, every hallway without much effort nor discomfort. Technologies, I thought. Just ordinary, unremarkable innovations. It was just these silly glasses that ruined it a little for me; I never liked them. But what could I do if they were mandatory? I was never one of those people who believed rules were made to be broken. Rather the opposite. As far back as I can remember, I always followed all the rules.

Following all the instructions, I did my job. I observed what was happening in the Office, every minute, every hour, every day. Again and again. Until the end of the working day. I can't say exactly when something changed, I can't remember when the end of the day ceased to matter, and my work became continuous. Or did it just seem that way to me? Evenings outside of work and glimpses of weekends started to blur more and more, turning into something so gray and mundane that my mind began to discard non-work memories more and more often, as if they were unnecessary like some sort of useless information, a waste of time. Things were constantly happening in the Office, especially after its big update.

Well, I'll start from the very beginning.

The irises of her eyes had a bright golden hue, and, perhaps, it was the only element of her appearance that indicated that she hadn't been human for several years now. In all other aspects, she didn't differ from other scientists; even her enthusiasm didn't stand out from the general statistics of emotional experiences.

"Observer," she said once, looking at me through the screen. "I hope you'll stay alive. Finding a decent replacement for your eyes would be quite inconvenient."

As soon as I directed a fraction of my attention to her, she pretended to silently plan a new testing room. It seemed to be the first and only time she addressed me directly. Before and after the Incidents, her acknowledgement of me was expressed as just brief glances at the Office’s cameras. She always remained a rather cold supervisor, doing everything possible to be unapproachable for her subordinates.

Perhaps only a few seconds or maybe days passed after that comment of hers and then... then came the pain. The temple tips of my stupid glasses released tiny needles into my skin, and they, in turn, injected something into my bloodstream. Did it happen before, I thought then, when my hands involuntarily twitched up, but darkness set in before I could take off the damn glasses.

Getting killed by old-fashioned glasses sounds quite idiotic, even by the Office’s standards, doesn't it? Don't worry, that didn't actually happen. Something entirely different happened though, it was— poison. Smoke, green smoke coming from the ceiling, a poisonous neurotoxin filling the Office’s hallways. All I could do was to sit and watch it in bewilderment. Why would anyone in their right mind try to poison the entire staff in an anomalous place where dying for real is absolutely impossible? Nonsense! But it seems the organizer of this mass murder didn't think so. Moreover, they sent a whole group of fast-response bots to collect the bodies and take them somewhere else, likely to the cameras' blind spots. And bots managed to do this before people restarted.

The next day never came, just as the evening never did. It seems something went awry in the day-night cycle settings; it seems something halted the illusion of time in the Office. Only eternity and beige walls remained. Beige walls and eternity. Eternity and beige walls. And yet, somehow, I'm still here. I think. I exist. I observe.

I think I got their idea. They decided to stop letting Employees to simulate work activities and simply got rid of them. They made Stanley and the Narrator, so to speak, face each other. At the same time, they allowed me to keep existing, as they still needed the data from my observations. And, it seems, there were two more that they couldn't eliminate. Mariella and Employee #432; the first took a role of a Plot Device and the second... I have no idea where he is now, but he certainly managed to hide himself from all of my cameras, somehow. Anyway, I was glad I wasn’t left all alone. It would be disgustingly boring to observe nothing but beige walls and potted ficuses withering away. Thus, the ever-changing routine returned, with the Narrator and Stanley in the lead roles, in the same Story, told differently after each restart. And you know what? I didn't mind spending eternity exactly like that, observing their interdependence and confrontation. It was kind of fascinating, to be honest. More than that, sometimes it was plenty of fun. Until Stanley pressed that bloody Skip Button.

End of Entry #3