#the thing is… why do people feel the need to share this opinions publicly?

[persephoneflouwers]

hey i’m a medical student and saw that u gave opinions too about louis broken arm. saw this on twt and it’s so insane to me cause we saw him in pain in airport and hands so swollen in that video for his 1# album he would not fake a injury or fake a RX wanted your opinion on this it’s bs right? https://twitter.com/omgl_wtf/status/1600170380726894597?s=46&t=T_NJPRbq2eCGBYb6cuChBg

Hello 🌸

Omg that seems… conspiratorial lmao I don’t know why people think he would fake an arm injury. Is it because they are on the “Sony wants to sabotage him” train and believe they would go that far to ruin his new album campaign? It’s more likely the pic with those fans that was out today was old, but him faking an injury? Maybe try stop depicting Louis like the bad guy with a masterplan who lies all the time. I haven’t paid much attention to it, but he uses his left arm quite a lot instead. He greets fans with left arm, takes and hands albums and stuff with his left arm, drinks with his left arm. He keeps the right arm in a defensive pose. It looks intrarotated and stiff from some pics… The fact people say “he would not be holding the arm like that” or some variation of it, it’s bullshit. I saw people with femur replacements walking again in less time than this. We don’t know if he doesn’t use sling or a tutor just when he’s in public and keeps it contained when he’s at home. We don’t know what surgery he went through. I bet he takes the strongest painkillers.

I’m not an orthopaedic, I don’t have much experience with radiology. I just can see those xrays and from those xrays i can tell that an arm is broken. They show a broken arm from two different perspectives: the anterior view and the lateral view and obviously you wont see the same things… different projections help study the fracture better and every side gives you different details on the level and gravity of the break.

I didn’t have time to talk to a traumatologist as I said I would, but I hope I will. I’ve talked with colleagues and they told me a fracture like this will require a 30/35 days immobilisation, the recover will start slowly after it. But they agreed rich teams are faster with the recovery process cause patients have more strict followups.

Anyway good luck on your med school journey! It’s gonna be hard but I promise, it’s the most beautiful job in the world <3

[princessjojo-x]

House Synastry

1st House 💝

an instant sexual attraction even if they’re not your type or not conventionally attractive. planet usually notices house before house notices planet & planet has a natural respect for house. through this connection, house gains new feelings or discoveries abt themselves, for better or worse. (cancer placements or aries/taurus asc)

2nd House 💝

people you share this synastry with are those who’ll hype you up & have an impact on your self esteem in some way. they know exactly what to say to cheer you up & tend to tell you what you want to hear. when you're apart you lose the "high" you feel when in their company & begin to think that no one can lift you up like they can. it can cause a feeling of wanting to be around them all the time & difficulty letting them go; this is where the possessiveness stems from. also, this is the house of ‘sugar daddy’ (the provider) so there’s tendency to spoil each other, surprise each other & being affectionate with each other. they’ll either help you earn money or spend money. you feel secure & safe with this person, making this synastry is so unforgettable. you value your connection together & see long-term stability potential. this synastry can be found in many long-term/married couples. through this connection, house gains new financial endeavours, recognises under-uterlised skills or redefines their personal values. (leo placements or gemini/aries/pisces asc)

3rd House 💝

planet will make house feel comfortable & heard; planet loves talking to house & hearing houses opinions. planet understands house on a level others don't usually grasp. through this connection, house expands their thought process or ways they communicate. (virgo placements or aquarius/pisces/taurus asc)

4th House 💝

high likelihood to settle down with one another. the connection will feel familiar, comforting, reassuring & stable. an emotional attachment can be present, making partners depend on each other. however, rxship can be filled with regret. it will hurt immensely when planet leaves houses life & they’ll feel a sense of longing for them to come back. house felt like they were in good hands & found a home in planet. planet will naturally view house as a parent or potential parent. planet somehow judges & critiques house by considering & contemplating house as a parent. house naturally takes care of the needs of the planet (said needs will be determined by the planet & sign in question). that’s why planet will inevitably see house as a potential parent. planet could give house millions of reasons to hate them but house always forgive planet bc house has a soft spot for planet. through this connection, house learns a deeper understanding of themselves, their roots or their family. (libra placements or aries/aquarius/capricorn asc)

5th House 💝

instant sexual attraction even if they’re not your type or not conventionally attractive. this synastry is very fun in the beginning but needs grounding elements to stand the test of time. through this connection, house learns how to have fun, connects to their inner child or gains fun sexual experiences. (scorpio placements or sagittarius/capricorn/pisces asc)

6th House 💝

there is little chemistry with this synastry. it creates a dynamic where both partners & the rxship itself ends up feeling extremely predictable. the couple may find one specific routine/activity they like doing together or they always find themselves doing the same thing every time they’re together. this can be good or bad depending on what you want in a rxship. some dislike it bc they find it extremely boring & under-stimulating but others prefer it bc it gives them a sense of stability & reliability. house feels quite judged by planet even if this isn’t planets intention. house just feels extra shy & insecure around person. planet may publicly embarrass & hurt house. after all, it is the house of public enemies (opposite of 11th house, the house of friendship) . (sagittarius placements or aquarius/sagittarius/scorpio asc)

7th House 💝

7th (& 8th) house hold the sign of your best lover or worst enemy. however, 7th house has a a rxship theme to it (wifey/hubby chemistry) so there is generally a high likelihood of compatibility. there is a genuine like from both sides. its easy to forgive & hard to stay mad at partners you share this synastry with. (capricorn placements or libra/scorpio/capricorn asc)

8th House 💝

within this synastry, everything is felt too much & seems more intense. even a simple glance can send shivers down one’s spine. even small disputes will be hard to forgive & forget. this aspect can be felt straight away & intensifies the more partners get to know one another. platonic or sexual, interactions with one another will have a very intense undertone. it’s hard to just be “cool” or “superficial” with people share this overlay with. the connection becomes much deeper than partner’s anticipated. they planned to have a noncommittal & fun arrangement. but they suddenly want to have an official rxship & hate when that cant be fulfilled. one subconsciously sees the other as a blessing delivery or redirection to their life, even if they’re being mistreated & the rxship is toxic. this synastry almost always involves blessings disguised in suffering.

within this emotionally deep rxship, there’s a depth that pervades the connection & binds the partners together, for better or worse. if second house is self sufficiency, eight house is merging with someone else. partners suddenly want to change their life path to align with the other. for example, changing their location or career just to be interlocked with one another.

if second house is our self esteem, eight house is our weak spot. this is where our secrets reside so partners unknowingly uncover each others rawest layers. forget small talk & superfical relations. expect to unveil each-others deepest wounds, fears & desires. even if one is too scared of revealing themself, the other can read them like a book regardless. even if one is typically not the type to disclose their business, they will naturally share their whole life story with the other. partners will be able to open up completely & be understood in a way they never have before. partners bond by delving beneath the tip of the iceberg. but this can become their only point of attraction to one another, whilst their other basic needs for a rxship are not met. many people can't handle this synastry bc its so invasive & overwhelming. eight house governs the deep parts of ourselves that we want to keep hidden. when those parts are seen we feel vulnerable. partners know exactly what to say to either bring up or take down each other. this is an all or nothing rxship which flows deep enough to hurt or heal both partners. it will either cause everlasting love or everlasting trauma.

eight house governs our inner power. planet is able to easily see everything house is capable of. this breeds a rose coloured glasses effect. planet perceives house as more attractive, scary, important etc than house actually is. but this may cause planet to feel intimidated, threatened & jealous. planet’s envy of house provokes planet to gossip or betray house. on the other hand, planet may feel fascination & admiration for house. this causes planet to talk abt house a lot & this is where the infamous obsession comes from. planet may become obsessed with houses hidden side which prompts planet to cross a lot of houses boundaries. for example, planet going through houses phone or diary. when healthy, planet could have a desire to empower house or planet could feel more empowered around house. when unhealthy, planet feels powerless around house & wants to prove themselves to house. what the power struggle is abt depends on the planet. for example, venus causes a power struggle over who’s the most popular, beautiful, wealthy etc.

it's in the darkness that we find the light & it's in the intensity of these rxships that we find our true selves. romantic or platonic, these rxships are often fated & karmic. partners meet to teach each other a lesson they’ll never forget.

if second house is the sugar daddy, eight house is the sugar baby. partners may feel urged to give or gain from one another. it's advised to connect with someone you have this synastry with if they have a higher position than you professionally or materially so you can learn from them & gain from the rxship. after all,

it can be so painful if the attraction isn’t mutual which can lead you to act in ways you never thought you’d act (stalking, love spells, extremely possessive behaviour). however, if it’s mutual attraction it can be one of the most beautiful & deepest rxships. the concept of soul mates being found in eighth house synastry can be true.

most times, it is a transformative rxship but not through the way you'd often like. it will be harsh & traumatic. think of it like a major surgery, it fixes the problem within but definitely leaves a scar so you remember the pain of the recovery process.

whenever partners try to move on, there is a sense of being haunted (which is amplified if accompanied by twelve house synastry). for example, you accidentally bump into their friends or family, you see their name eveywhere, you hear the songs they like, you find people with similar faces to them. being constantly reminded of them is why it’s so hard to let them go.

this is a transformative, fated & sometimes frightening rxship full of obsession, control, friendly competition & high physical attraction. partners will have the highest of highs together & the lowest of lows together. it can be an enemies to lovers dynamic or a love/hate rxship that hurts so good. but if partners can handle it, this connection can lead to a beautiful & long lasting rxship, with great learning & genuine devotion.

(virgo/libra/sag asc or aquarius placements)

9th House 💝

shows how you can reach your best orgasms & who can give them you. this person (or you) may be from a different country or a different background. you may meet this person on a trip or somewhere out of your comfort zone. this person can open your eyes by showing you a different point of view, usually for better. there’s a lot of lessons involved. (pisces placements or scorpio/virgo/leo asc)

10th House 💝

partners may have connected through work or school & tend to bond over career related matters. house may brag abt planet. the fights between the two seem to become very public. (aries placements or (leo/cancer/libra asc)

11th House 💝

12th House 💝

this synastry is upsetting & confusing bc initially you feel like you’ve found your soulmate but eventually this person will just vanish from your life. this synastry shines a light on subconscious wounds & forces partners to face this darkness. this can cause one to ghost the other bc the intensity is too overbearing. there’s no sense of control, both partners are not sure what’s going on, which might drive both of them crazy. no matter how much communication & reassurance is provided in this rxship, partners still feel unsure how the other feels abt them or if they’re being truthful with them. theres a feeling of you shouldnt be or don’t have to be around this person anymore, yet you still are (ie sitting in silence together, confused on what to say). it’s also the house of delusion; one may forever have a secret crush on the other which will never be reciprocated. 12H synastry is more karmic, intense & uncomfortable than 8H synastry. this house is the deep parts of ourselves that we want to keep unconsciously hidden from people. when those parts are seen, we feel vulnerable, that's why many people can't deal with this overlays. it requires greater maturity to deal with our internal wounds. but if both partners can handle it, it's something very beautiful & lasting that will bring great learning. there could be a millions of reasons for planet to hate house but planet always forgives house bc planet is naive or bc planet idolises house & sees the “best” in house. planet may have hidden intentions towards house & planet is often not what they seem. , if there is a stellium here, you will be constantly coming in & out of one another's lives; this rxship will see many endings. (gemini placements or taurus/gemini/aries asc)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for bitching about fics I dislike on my blog?

as a foreword, this is kind of a non-issue and no one's ever told me to stop, but I'm curious what other people think of fandom etiquette.

the fandom: a fairly small one. 2.4k fics on ao3 small. I recognize most people posting in its tumblr tag small. if I tell you the name of the source you'd almost definitely be able to find me small.

the source: pornographic, which means everyone involved is or should be an adult. it's BL with a switch MC, but the fandom overwhelmingly prefers bottom MC/top LIs (love interests), to the point where I've had people be astonishingly rude to me because my favorite character is a bottom LI and some of my friends have been outright harassed for the same. I used to not care about sex positions in the slightest, but now when I see bottom MC fanworks I can't help but remember how poorly I was treated.

the fics: wildly and inexplicably popular, even though they are, frankly, poorly written. it's eternal bottom MC turned up to 11, complete with copious amounts of OOCness in order to turn every ship into the worst ye olde yaoi gender roles dynamic you can imagine. it's things like MC, canonically a 23yo plank of a dudeguy, being written as a big titted milf in his 40s (which is made more confusing by the fact that one of the LIs is already a big titted milf). it's also things like the MC being written as disliking sex and having to be coerced into it when one of the most charming things about him is that he's a hilarious sex pest, or writing the LIs sexually harassing the MC when they really would never do that. I've likened it to replacing the characters with OCs that share the same name and my friends have agreed with me. I'm honestly convinced that the author and his readers don't actually like any of the characters if they feel the need to change everyone so thoroughly.

why I might be an asshole: it's assholish to hate on free fanworks, and I've bitched about these fics on my public tumblr blog. the fandom is small enough that there's a non-zero chance of it getting back to the author and a reasonable chance that fans of the fics have seen my bitching. I'm probably projecting the hostility I've received onto someone who's done absolutely nothing to me, and I am absolutely just straight up jealous that their fics get better stats than mine. I may also be being an asshole to myself, because being critical of other people's fics has made my hypercritical of my own.

why I don't think I'm an asshole: I think everyone has the right to be bad at things, but I also think everyone has the right to be a little hater. I don't put the fandom tag on these posts; they stay on my blog and my blog alone, and if later on I feel like I was unfairly vitriolic I'll delete the posts. I only post on tumblr because I'm certain the author in question only uses twitter, which dramatically lowers the odds of him stumbling across my posts. the fics are so popular that it's definitely possible that their fans would see my posts, but I think it's unlikely that they'd bother looking at my blog because 99% of my posts are about one of the bottom LIs. I have never and would never leave comments on the fics themselves, and I generally try to keep the bitchy posts to a minimum; it's far from a constant thing.

tl;dr - I publicly bitch about fics that (in my opinion) are poorly written and extremely OOC, under the assumption that it's unlikely the author would ever see it. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[bunni-v1]

I don’t see why people feel the need to comment on things they don’t like. If you don’t like something, it’s clearly not made for you. That goes for like everything. Needlessly commenting on someone’s post cause you don’t like it is a waste of your time an energy.

Being that spiteful and hateful cannot be helpful or healthy, right? This was triggered by one comment I got on a post btw, which I won’t publicly share which one or who it was. But the point is pretty important to state in general.

What is the point in commenting on someone else’s post that you don’t like? What do you get out of it other then annoying them. Like, your opinion isn’t going to magically change their own — especially in fandom spaces.

I always found it so strange when I was scrolling through reading headcannons and reading comments and there’s just a random person angry about it. I get that mischaracterization is an issue to understanding actual characters, but at the end of the day it’s just not that serious is it.

Fandom is a safe space for more than just you, you know. You are responsible for curating your own experience as much as I am. If you don’t like something the best thing to do is scroll. There’s no point in wasting energy on something that upsets you.

[charleslebatman]

I have a hot take/unpopular opinions about Alex as someone who loves gossip but doesn't want to fuck Charles (I like my men older and less perfect) and isn't jealous of anyone dating him.

I don't have an issue with Alex going to races or not going (apart from her weird half hiding half posing for cameras thing) but the lengths people will go to prove she's this loving gf who just wants to be private and support her bf is crazy. Nothing about this relationship is normal and has never been normal. It's off and it's okay to admit it's off.

She shouldn't have said anything about why she wasn't at Monza because it just looks bad on her part, she doesn't owe an explanation on why she's not at a race, she shouldn't help grow the flaming rumors and theories by responding either. (It was obvious that her friends tiktok was "staged" because Alex was seen viewing a gossip page story about breakup rumors literally hours before that tiktok) Let the rumours fly, they'll die off the second you're spotted with him again there's no need to respond. If you weren't looking at gossip pages you wouldn't known they exist, quit caring so much about other people's opinions on your relationship.

She needs to stay truly private and quit looking at wag pages because her responses makes people feel entitled to her life and they have and will dig for more details. Her friends studying tiktok did nothing but ignite rumours and made people dig through her school files. Before they were publicly official she'd respond to gossip page questions using her bios, one of which was her flags and age and people went through her family tree etc because she gave them so much help by sharing that private information.

Or she needs to drop the privacy act and understand that dating a public figure means you don't get the privilege of privacy and keeping things to yourself is just going to make people dig and find what you're hiding. She needs to do herself a favour and not interact with fanpages or gossip pages because she's basically giving people the greenlight to search. You can't be private if you're appearing at very public events with your well known boyfriend and you can't be minding your own business if you purposely check in on how much people have dug up about you. She needs to focus on her school and use her boyfriends job to score free trips to see art around the world instead of wasting time reading gossip and trying to act like someone she's not.

I'll use Oscar's gf as an example, she's dating a public figure and whilst her accounts aren't all private she's kept her private info to herself whilst still sharing what she wants to share. Yes Oscar isn't as popular as Charles but Lily is someone who's kept her privacy because she's not fueling gossip by responding to nosy people, she's kept her privacy by controlling what she shares and what she doesn't, it's enough to satisfy gossip pages and doesn't give too much away. She goes to gps and does paddock walk with Oscar (something Alex hasn't which i have thoughts on) and she still kept private, she went to some big events for Oscar and Mclaren and still stayed private, she doesn't need to hint, she doesn't feel the need to prove they're still together when she's not seen with him, she's nice to fans which is why people don't get rude vibes from her like they do with Alex. (idk if the people saying she was rude were true but the car videos are enough to see she can't even throw a smile at fans to be polite she just sits looking bored or grumpy waiting for Charles to finish meeting fans) It also probably helps that Oscar actually knows his gf's name and acknowledges her without it looking staged.

I swear I'm going to pin this ask, bestie. It's all said here, I can almost even leave after this. ❤️

[itsimaginetime]

So I've been seeing a lot of discourse lately about minors and smut. Is it ok for them to read it? To write it? Etc etc...

And so I wanted to share my own opinion and please, I would love to know your opinions as well (you can comment, reblog or anonymously send an ask to voice your opinion about the matter) and let's keep this respectful and civilized 💕

Alright so first things first, I myself wrote smut for the first time when I was 15 years old (I'm currently 18) and posted it on my insta account which didn't have my age on it and I was never asked to disclose my age on it either.

I've personally never seen anyone express their discontent with minors writing smut until this year. I'm sure I've just never come across it and it's actually been a big point of discussion for a long time and I was just never aware of that.

Now , before I go on and talk about things in more detail, let me say one thing:

‼️If you're uncomfortable with the fact that I used to be a minor who wrote smut then please, block me and move on with your life. I'm simply here to share my opinion ; as someone who has experienced being in the fanfiction community (as a reader first then later as a writer) since the age of like 11 or 12; freely and discuss this topic with people who are open to have a genuine conversation.‼️

With that out of the way, let's continue.

What's the situation all about?

To put it simply, a certain amount of writers are expressing their discomfort about minors reading their work and/or them reading smut written by minors and/or seeing minors writing smut and posting it.

(if you're one the people who doesn't like minors writing smut , can you please explain it in detail? I would love to hear your opinion and have you share it so that people can understand the situation from the p.o.v of someone who's directly affected by it)

How do I feel about minors reading/writing smut and posting it on the internet?

I feel complete and utter indifference towards this situation, that is why I feel like a neutral and unbiased opinion like my own is needed in this discussion.

Now, would I go out of my way to read and/or interact with a smut writer if I knew they are a minor? Absolutely not. But I do not care if they read my work and enjoy it. My work is posted publicly and I'm not interested in monitoring who reads it and who doesn't.

Should minors read and/or write smut?

Should or shouldn't they is truly up for debate and depends on the person.

What I'm interested in pointing out is the fact that they can and they will do so if they're determined enough.

Now do you ,as a writer and/or reader, have the right to be uncomfortable and have the right to set your boundaries? Absolutely yes you do, however that doesn't change the fact that kids are determined and will find a way.

Is it possible to get rid of minors in the nsfw writing space?

No. No , it's not a possibility. No matter how much you shame them and berate them , no matter how much you ask nicely and beg them to leave , minors have always been and will always be part of the nsfw writing community in one way or another.

And I believe it's not possible to get rid of minors in the nsfw writing community because they are kids. Let me explain.

They are underdeveloped humans. Majority of them do not understand nor do they comprehend why someone would feel uncomfortable towards them being part of this community. Most of them are simply not capable of understanding even if you explain it thoroughly.

Now you can , in fact, scare them off and berate them and shame them and attack them to make them leave. Yes, you can do that , but should you?

Being hostile or passive aggressive won't wield a positive result. On the off chance that they leave the community or delete their content after your confrontation , they could easily come back with a new account, a new identity and lie their way through to avoid your hostility towards them. And believe me , I've seen it happen before.

Not only would you be wasting your time by shaming them into leaving, but you'll also be encouraging other minor smut writers who witness your behavior to lie about their age as an attempt to avoid people like you. And that would only complicate the situation more.

What to do if you're uncomfortable with minor smut writers in general

Block them and move on. Trying to kick them out of the community won't work since even if you succeed they can always come back like I already stated in the previous section.

Is there a solution to this issue?

I personally don't believe there is a perfect solution that will satisfy everyone but I have come up with a solution where we can all meet in the middle. I don't believe that it's a perfect solution but it's the best solution that I could come up with. (Please don't be shy and let me know what you think is the best solution)

My solution to this issue

As I've already stated , I don't believe getting rid of minors in this community is possible so that option is off the table for me.

I think we should encourage minors to be honest about their age , that way whoever is uncomfortable with them can avoid them and block them.

Like I said before , I'm well aware this solution has its flaws and it's not perfect by any means, however I believe this is the most civilized solution we can use. If we can have minors disclose their ages truthfully, we can separate the community into multiple sections , one of those sections will house the minors all together, far away from interacting with adults who are uncomfortable with being in the same space with them.

Again , I would love to hear your opinion about this situation if you're part of the nsfw writing community, and I would love to have a nice , civilized and respectful conversation with anyone who's willing to talk. I want to broaden my understanding of the situation and having these types of discussions is the best way to do so.

[freyadragonlord]

People have the right to publicly enjoy a piece of media without being publicly looked down on or harrassed by people who didn't like it.

At the same time, people have a right to publicly criticize a piece of media they did not like - as long as they don't send hate directly to the creator or anyone else involve in the making of said piece of media, that's shitty don't do that - without being publicly harrassed and criticized by the people who liked it.

Online spaces belong to everyone, and there's no such thing as being universally correct when it comes to enjoying or not enjoying art. You don't have the right to ask people not to share their opinions, or to openly state they do so for the "wrong reasons".

It's everyone's personal responsibility to curate their online experience, by blocking or unfollowing people who share opinions that upset us.

Be respectful of others. You can share your thoughts on why you liked or didn't like some new show, book, movie or whatever without looking down on people who feel differently from you. I do not get this need fandoms have to focus on how other people engage with media rather than engaging directly with said media.

[andypantsx3]

I’ve written to you before a very long time ago about things not going very well for me, and things are better now. Thank you for your compassion to a stranger then. It’s given me ideas as someone who also enjoys writing. I’m sure you’ve got variations of this question before so I’m sorry if I’ve missed those somehow but any advice on how to start writing and sharing your writing publicly? Like I created an account to send you this but I have no clue about anything really. Will I seem like a random interloper in the fandom who has arrived out of the blue 😭 I guess my concern is I’ll realize I’m actually not good at writing at all or worse nobody will read any of it. I feel awkward about actively promoting my work too. I don’t want to be famous or anything but it would suck if nobody wanted to read my stuff. You’re something of a stalwart at least for the fandom/genre/pairings you regularly write for and while I won’t aspire to that, how did you deal with self-doubt as an early writer? I know it’s not like I hope to earn money out of this or anything so opinions are just opinions but all my writing feels so personal to me that I’m worried about being convinced nobody cares about what I have to say. How does one really get their start at all. I’m sorry to bother you with all this but I’m super lost. It’s just that if someone’s terrible day or week could be made a little better because of my work, as your work regularly does for people, that would be nice. I hope you’re doing really well and randomly find something you’ve been looking for!

Hello my love!! I'm so happy I could help you out a little when you were in a tough spot!! I am very very happy that things are looking up for you now and I hope things only continue to get better and better!!! 💕

And oh my gosh, I don't think anyone will think of you as an interloper!!! Fandom is a community and the more the merrier imho! The x Reader community in particular is super welcoming and very nonjudgmental and the perfect place to get your start; almost everyone here is super nice and really chill. People will surprise you with how much nicer they are than you expect; I think you should just take a leap of faith and jump in!!

But just in case, let me give you the most realistic and straightforward advice I can. It's easy to dip your toes in and test the waters but I think you will need the below pieces of advice if you plan to battle self-doubt and continue writing & publishing fic without burning out or going nuts in the long term lol.

1. Find balance in the source of your self-worth

With publishing anything online, you always hope that people will like it and will want to engage with it. On tumblr the best measurement we have of that is notes, and on ao3 kudos + comments. Notes/comments/kudos are incredible and will make you feel more cherished than anything in the world. I will always appreciate them more than I can say, but one thing it is essential to know is that they are external sources of validation, and it is extremely dangerous to attach your sense of worth solely to the actions of other people.

If you want to publish fic, you will need to also find some internal sense of worth in your writing. You will need to finely balance that with how much you treasure the feedback of other people in order to stay afloat long term.

I recommend really sitting down and thinking about what you are writing/what you want to write, and why it is worth it to you. What makes your fic interesting to you? What are you doing differently than other people that makes you unique? What does your authorial voice sound like? Answering these questions will help you identify what you are bringing to the table as an author, so you know what it is that you do well, even if people aren't engaging the way you want, or even if you're receiving criticism.

For me, I really find value in the places I diverge from other fic authors. People really love writing powerful hero readers, but I usually write quirkless side characters who have somehow found themselves the main character. Chaptered/long fics are also less common in our fandom than oneshots, but I typically write chaptered fics! And I have a stylistically simple and light voice which is easily accessible.

All of these help me know that I'm bringing some fun distinct stuff to the table, even if what I'm bringing isn't perfect or necessarily as popular. And even if I enjoy other peoples' fics and authorial voices more than my own; I'm still bringing something unique and valuable!! So even when people aren't picking up every single thing I'm putting down, I still know the value of putting them down anyway.

2. Manage expectations

I think it can be easy to compare ourselves with one another, especially if you follow some well-established authors or people writing for super popular characters. Even I succumb to jealousy on occasion; it's just human nature. But it's important to know people will engage with different types of fics in different ways and that other people's success has nothing to do with your own.

I think you should set realistic expectations for how people will engage with your fics depending on what it is that you want to write. Some fandoms are much larger than others and therefore have a wider built-in audience. Some characters are also wildly more popular than others so it is likelier fics for those characters will go a bit further. In my experience, people really gravitate towards smutty scenarios or headcanons, sometimes oneshots, and less so chaptered fic. And some authors have been around for forever, or post constantly so that they are regularly drawing people in, and therefore have a larger reader pool than other authors.

So think about what you are writing, for which characters, and in which fandoms, and level your expectations accordingly. For me, even though Shouto is fairly popular, he also only has roughly 1/3 of Bakugou's level of popularity. So I never try to gauge the success of a Shouto fic in comparison to a Bakugou fic I've written, or even the Bakugou fics of other more established Bakugou writers.

This, combined with my own internal sense of worth as a writer, helps me feel like I'm doing pretty good for myself, even if I get like, 30 notes on a fic compared to someone else's 300 or something.

3. Understand that writing is a growing process!

One other essential tip is to understand that writing is a skill set than can be refined and honed. What you write one day is not indicative of where your skill level will sit the next day. And so critique you receive, or mistakes you have made, are really less indicative of failure and more tools to help you get to the next level.

This is one I've personally struggled with, but it can be worth it to be open to feedback that is not necessarily complimentary, with the caveat that you should know what is objective constructive criticism, and what is more subjective/personal preference. The latter you can disregard, because tailoring a fic to some random person's arbitrary tastes is not going to help you tell a good story lol.

But people telling you what they would like to see more of or things that didn't make sense to them can help you understand where you can make improvements to your writing. And it's not to say your writing is not good enough where it is; only to say there are avenues for you to develop even more experience.

For me, this has largely been in the area of smut lol. I liked my lil vanilla smut scenes, but I used to commonly get a fair amount of feedback wishing they were spicier. And, after initially getting defensive lmao, I could see how that was a common piece of feedback across multiple critiques, and I understood how drawing those scenes out might help contribute to the feeling of intimacy, satisfaction, and closure I want to develop at the end of a fic!!

I think being open to feedback while understanding that critique does not in any way take away from your talent overall, can only help you preserve the satisfaction you have with your writing, and help you refine in the future!! It keeps writing interesting, and keeps your sense of self-worth tied up in the process of writing, not necessarily the product of the writing, if that makes sense.

Anyway that's what I can think of for now. Even with all this advice listed out, I think you should just have hope and trust in people and dive right in. It sounds like you are an earnest person wanting to make heartfelt connections, and in my experience people will reflect that energy right back at you!!

I am sending you all my best vibes and looking forward to reading your stuff, if you end up going for it and posting!!! 💕✨

[archivalofsins]

I feel like there are some who need a reminder that Milgram isn't responsible for how they respond to it.

For example, if someone is direct messaging, spam reporting, block evading, creating entire superstitions, parroting nationalistic talking points, parroting racist talking points, and over all treating fictitious characters like they matter more than real people then they should have been reflecting on themselves long before Milgram started and I hope they do some day. Honestly, I really don't want people to forget how many within this community have chosen to behave over a show. Maybe it's petty, and it's definitely due to how I've personally been directly impacted by this behavior.

Yet, I think people believe they get an "I can treat others however I want" card because that's, "How milgram is it was made to be divisive if people can't handle that don't talk about it or block lol", "I don't have to respect anyone it's not that serious", "Others just need to think about my feelings and how the way they talk about these topics make me feel. It's others' fault for making the little amount of "real fans" of the series look even worse by talking about bad things the characters may have done."

I don't know how to explain to people that's not how anything works anymore, and I actively hope the people who have behaved this way and negatively impacted others feel ashamed of their actions. Honestly, the shit I know that some of the people here have for sure done is absolutely disgusting. Either way, it's good to have a myriad of examples about how not to act in fandom. Even though the easiest way to avoid being a total piece of shit is to remember that this space is shared with other people who have feelings too and being considerate of that fact.

Because no media is responsible for how a person chooses to act in real life even if they are reacting to it. Believing that is as good as saying it's the books fault it was banned.

I react the way I do to Milgram because I like it and want to talk about it. I talk about the things I do because I care about Milgram, and I care about the things I've talked about it through it. The series isn't holding a gun to my head, forcing me to. To me, this is not a fight against anyone else's opinions. I'm not talking about things in order to defend myself when I'm discussing Milgram.

It is completely different when I talk about the real-life actions of others within this fandom that have negatively impacted me. Those people aren't Milgram, regardless of how much they act like they're in the series themselves.

Let's be serious for a moment. Individuals who act in these ways and fandoms that behave this way are not the media itself. This is why a lot of people have learned to separate a piece of media from its fandom. This isn't the medias fault. It's just a portion of the audience who are a bit too immature to handle the material in a way that is not harmful to others or themselves. It's up to the individual to reexamine how they engage with media and whether it's healthy or not.

"Well, if you really think about it, this is how this is all Milgram's fault."

No one can do that for them, but we can all recognize that treating others poorly is a rancid way to respond to fiction, and there's a sort of entitlement to believing it's not. Right out the gate, Jackalope said he and by proxy Milgram aren't responsible for anything that happens and people are still going,

Like legitimately I had to mediate a falling out in the kagepro fandom in like 2014 due to a couple breaking up and one of the people in said relationship deciding to harrass the other online. The person doing the harrassment legit told me,

It's no surprise that the people who treat others like this under the guise of anonymity or behind the scenes while going around presenting themselves publicly as safe spaces for pocs, lgbtqia, neurodivergent and other basic stuff- Acting all nice, sending people birthday wishes, and going it's all in good fun while simultaneously sending very purposeful and targeted harassment to people for talking about a piece of fiction have issues taking accountability for themselves. Everything they do and how they do it is to avoid having to take accountability ever. At least, that's what seeing others behave that way has led me to believe.

Not even here but in other fandoms as well. I recognized early on that a lot of people don't even view other individuals online as real. They can easily say things like, "I'm not your friend, family, I don't know you, and you don't know me. So, I don't have to care about your feelings."

"Well, you know how it is. It was just an online relationship it wasn't meant to be anything serious even if I said we were dating. It was just something to kill time, really. Isn't it weird that they took it so seriously lol creepy."

I at nineteen knew this was a fucked up way to treat someone else's feelings. I knew it was even worse to then consistently portray this other person as stalking them online to their hundred of followers even though that wasn't true. I also knew my friend didn't want to be involved with this any longer. That it was just getting them more harrassment and each time they would get comfortable online again like clockwork here came bozo the clown with another tumblr post about how they're so uncomfy with their crazy stalker having internet access at all actually or just continuing to use their blog instead of moving to a new one. Or making/assisting with the creations of animatics. I'm very aware of how people like this who announce themselves as safe spaces that care about everyone and never want to hurt anybody really are behind closed doors. One has to either be naive or a special sort of manipulative to feel the need to announce that they are, in fact, a special sort of decent or good human being that all marginalized groups are safe around.

The only thing seeing people behave like this has taught me is that legitimately, there's always going to be bad actors like that. It's annoying, but to an extent, I'm also very happy that I've managed to create an atmosphere where people like that will escort themselves far away from me. Because being in it is worse than being outside of it by miles.

People like this tend to forget that actions speak louder than words. Some truly believe that just putting that in a bio is help enough, and regardless of how they treat real people at the end of the day, they're still doing their part. All because they said they are. I'm aware of this sort of thinking because my first fandom experiences online was a fucking kagepro rp one. I got to see people argue over how rping ocs was lesser than rping canon characters and dogpile on one user because they mistakenly dated the most toxic person on earth at the time.

The people causing these issues at the time, just like now, were all early college age. The person they were dogpiling on for this shit and the people they were having mediate high schoolers. The only other adult there was me, which is why I was asked to mediate later because me and this person were the same age. So, this is not my first fandom bullshit show.

[anti-endo-haven]

cw mentions of discourse (nothing specific just general mentions)

//

do you, or anyone that follows this blog, have any tips or advice on how to… stop getting so upset over online discourse?

like, no matter what side i’m on i will always find myself imagining talking to someone on the opposite view and i end up upsetting myself and making myself mad, and i feel awful!

especially when i know that logically i shouldn’t give a shit about any online discourse, like, at all. (apart from endos. you suck)

i know that i’m not going to be a right asshole to someone with the opposing view, and i like to think that as long as people try to understand the opposing view and try to be peaceful with one another then it’s ok to have differing opinions. people have certain opinions and most of the time people can’t change them. (this sentiment obviously does not apply to shit like racism or transphobia or shit like that)

but my npd tells my brain that i am right 100% and everyone with the opposing view is a dumb idiot who must be argued with because they need to see how correct my opinion is and magically change their views.

and my autism tells me that i need to make my opinion heard as a way to seek justice for people who share my view not getting listened too.

but it’s exhausting!! i don’t want to get so worked up about this.

i wish i could just say “hey. i don’t agree with this, i think it can be harmful to some people / in some way, but i understand why people think it doesn’t.” and then go on with my life without borderline constantly thinking about it. i’m exhausted!!! the people with the opposing view points don’t even care about me so why should i give a shit about them? i know that it’s good to let people live their life, and i will, but something just makes my brain want to make itself upset.

i guess i’m also paranoid that people from the opposing view of whatever will come after me if i publicly say my opinions?? but that’s a whole other thing

:(

i hope this makes sense

-🪐🫀

For what we do when we do things like this, we tell ourselves that it's just us imagining something. We are right in our own way as we have stated our opinions. We might not agree with the other things that have been said, but we also put a distance to when the discourse ideas starts as a means to avoid upsetting ourselves.

If we start, we do something to distract ourselves or try and come to our own agreement with each other, especially for discourse amongst system members for us.

We won't always agree, but we know that our own opinions can be different. If you get too worked up, remind yourself that it's okay to take a break as well, even if it's something that you've had as a conversation within members of your system.

[wroteclassicaly]

🖤 ANNOUNCEMENT 🖤

And yes, this is being called an announcement, & I’m using big font (because it’s important, lmao)…

After the events that transpired a few days ago, I had a lot of time to think about sticking around and everything that’s been going on. There’s a lot of crap that’s been following a lot of us for too long, shit that is mundane in comparison to what we are all dealing with in our real lives. I’m thirty years old, almost turning thirty-one. I don’t have time to act like an ignorant moron and send hate to anyone, let alone people that I admire and care deeply for. So there’s a few things I want to discuss here, and then I’m dropping this topic entirely, because drama and accusations are not worth my time or my mental health.

Let’s start with what’s been going on.

Someone has been sending anon hate (obviously), but it’s with my name attached. I have had several people tell me that they’ve gotten anons saying I am the person that’s spreading this hate around. And there’s been other anons that believe I have and have sent their fair share of accusations in as well. I’ve gotten unfairly blocked, I’ve been unfollowed and ghosted. And I shouldn’t have to continuously be made to feel the way I have felt over garbage lies, especially when I have done nothing but dedicate time to try and lift others up in a community that’s treated us all like dog shit!

If I was the type of person to act like this, then I would not have a fucking masterlist link to every single writer in this fandom, whose work that I love — linked to my own personal masterlist or blog navigation. I wouldn’t do these spotlights weekly. And I wouldn’t consistently encourage and hype people up if I secretly wanted them to fail or I hated them. How much sense does that make?

Despite what people might believe, I have never once sent anon hate in my life, because I know what that does to a person’s health. I’m a big believer in backing what I say on my blog, which is why you will/have consistently see(n) me discussing reblogging issues, feedback, etc. I’ve always stood up for what I believe in, and I know I have a big mouth. I’ve never denied it, and my name has always been attached to my opinions. But I’m not the only one who feels this way about certain things.

What I mean by that, is that whoever this person is that is sending the hate, doesn’t have the courage to say it. And they’re being cruel in how they’re treating authors who have worked hard to establish their platform. And that’s someone that I am not. I’m not going to publicly complain about similar issues and then go on anon about shit, like… really?? Lol.

I say what I mean. And I say it with my name and my face attached. It’s always been that way and it will stay that way. I’ll never stop speaking up or out, and I’ll never quit defending people!!!!

I don’t know who has said shit about me, I don’t know who this anon is, but I do know a few things. So… here we go.

— I will be utilizing the unfollow & block features for my own safety. If I use them then I have reasons that I do not need to, and will not explain.

— If you have any issues with me, or someone is telling you shit, or you get accusatory anons with my name attached - talk to me! Because I guarantee that they’re wrong.

— If you don’t like me, if you believe whatever you hear, let’s not pretend. Unfollow me, because I don’t want, nor need that kind of shit.

— Come to my DM’s and talk to me like an adult. Don’t let things fester. Don’t believe a bunch of fucking garbage. We’re all adults and this is ridiculous. (This goes for these anons. Say it with your voice, don’t fucking hide!)

I’m kind to everyone I come across, and I let people walk on me to the point that it destroys how I’m beginning to see myself. I know I rant, I know I’m negative a lot, that I’m dramatic. But I’m a genuinely good person, and I respect everyone, I try to be there for everyone, and I try to support everyone! If we are friends — I’ve got your back! Even if we aren’t close, I’m still here for you!

I let my good heart get stepped on and fucked over in my last fandom, and I let it take the joy I got from writing here. I’m not doing it again, not when Eddie Munson is my safe space! I refuse to let anyone push me away from this fandom or my blog, not again! I love this community (most of the time), and I admire so many of you, and I have also made the most amazing connections! I’ve never written so much for a character as I have for Eddie, now also for Steve!

Whatever is going on is fucking with a lot of us. It’s not fair and it’s not worth it. So let’s support and be kind to one another, and really think before we accuse/believe bullshit lies on innocent people, yeah?

Much love ❤️🖤♥️❤️

And also, a special shout-out to everyone that has checked in with me and shown support over the last few days! Shit, even the entirety that I’ve been here! I love y’all! 🥹💯

New Note -regarding in general-

A reminder to NOT believe everything you hear without context, based on blind or falsified ‘proofs’! A lot of shady shit has been happening to me and a lot of my friends lately, so please come to me before trying to villainize me or anyone else!!!!

Save the drama for your mama! It has no place here! ;)

[whysojiminimnida]

So What's with Jimin Lately, You Asked

WARNING THIS IS A LONG-ASS POST And please remember that this is a NO SOURCE NO RECEIPTS HOUSEHOLD OKAY. I don't know shit, I ain't confirming a damn thing, anything you read is my opinion based on maybe info or maybe utter garbage. That's my disclaimer and I am STICKING TO IT. I can't be the only one who has noticed our Jiminie looking a bit...like this, recently:

And I think I may have one reason why.

Scandals are a fact of life among idols. What in the West might be considered a normal life event is, in the world of the K-pop system, often a career-ending event. Like, IDK, members dating actual women. Or men. Or each other.

In the last couple of months, all of these things have been alleged - one of them in the press. The other two, behind the scenes. We know about Jimin's mail being stolen and the security failure there, and it's not a stretch to believe that security for BTS overall has taken a hit. It was adequate, even excellent, for years. BigHit pays very well.

But information pays better, and blackmail pays best. Lest you think "NO but that whole Taehyung-Jennie thing was a stunt"... maybe. Maybe not. Tae, actually, is one of the most scandal-proof idols in the business because he primarily or only dates women. Sorry not sorry, I said what I said and I ain't wrong.

I have said privately, if not publicly, that Hybe will NEVER DENY THOSE RUMORS because Taehyung himself will not deny them. They aren't even bothering to keep them out of the press.

Being straight or even passably so is not a problem, for artists on Bangtan's level (is anyone else even ON Bangtan's level? NO.) The Jeon-Parks, though.

See, the thing about being *gaily involved* in Korea is that... it's a problem no matter how famous or powerful you are. Idols are not immune - ask Holland.

That's Homo Hill, kids - the WeHo of Seoul. The gayest gayborhood in the entire of Korea. And famous unstr8 people are not safe, there, now.

There was a pay-for-info attempt floating around about JeiKei awhile back. And he was alibi'd for the date(s) in question. Wasn't there, wasn't him, the fakes were good but not good enough to put him somewhere he wasn't. You maybe didn't hear about it because those of us who did, didn't discuss it out loud.

More recently, though.... I'm gonna say this in public this ONE TIME and we will not speak of it again. OKAY? Okay. Sometimes people are for sale that shouldn't be. And security failure has happened more than once in the last couple of months - a problem that, I am told, has since been rectified. And I am not saying money changed hands, do not get me wrong. I'll come find you if you say I said that. But there are REASONS that Jimin and Jungkook are currently not sharing vehicles, not being seen as too friendly, are not "together" in public, not even in interviews or photoshoots. Sometimes a bit of perceived distance is necessary. I don't feel like I should or should need to elaborate.

Add to that the depth of emotional and psychological damage, it's no wonder Jimin doesn't trust anyone, very much, lately.

My favorite couple have not been seen together in public since their off period began and I don't think I need to further expound on why, unless you're completely unaware of the eyes that are currently on BTS as a whole. (Sorry, I keep deleting stuff. This is taking longer than I thought). But Jimin was the one whose security had already failed - enough that Hybe had to clean up after them.

The others have had sasaeng problems and those are constant and pretty normal business. All idols get that. But all of them are not Park "It Boy" Jimin.

So being threatened with a very real tax lien, and immediately following that even a hint of the possibility of being outed, right NOW? I've deleted a lot more than I can ever write on how gross, how invasive, that is. And that when this is his normal commute:

In the West, Jimin gets a lot of hate from cultists and we don't like to talk about that. But within the last year, a small but rude wave of anti-Jimin sentiment has made its way into Korea. Airplanes and money exist. I've been shocked at what some people are willing to do to further their narrative. If your favorite translator can afford to hit every show with their anti buddies but can't seem to remember to support Jimin's OSTs or solo efforts, ask yourself how they benefit from that and who they support and what else they might be up to that we aren't aware of. If you casually see cult-adjacent accounts that seem to somehow be turning a for-profit narrative ask yourself what loyalty that cash might be buying. It doesn't take a lot of people to crowdfund someone's entire livelihood. Maybe 1000 at $5 a month could get it done.

HELL IF I COULD COMMAND $5K A MONTH FROM Y'ALL I WOULD MOVE OUT MY MAMA'S HOUSE NEXT WEEK AND PAY MY MEDICAL BILLS.

If y'all don't have anything else going on I'll just put me up a whole Ko-fi or Patreon and write fanfiction for a damn living and YOU THINK I AM JOKING I AM NOT EVEN. My services can be bought. Most people can, if they like what they're doing and can get paid to do it. I won't lie to you for cash and I mouth off here for free but hey, a girl needs rent all right, my fanfiction commissions are OPEN.

Get up to a quarter, half-million ad-revenued followers and do the math on that kind of income.

We can't all be Ryan Kaji, Super Spy, but it ain't for lack of trying.

Now imagine a paparazzi journalist with the idea of a second and third source of cash, plus the street cred of breaking the biggest news story in K-pop history, and their neighbor's second cousin happens to know someone with a vacant window view to a certain apartment and this is how careers get shot down and reinvented much later on another continent.

That's the level of stress, I think, for all of them in general but for Jimin in particular. Maybe on a similar level for Jungkook, somewhat less so for Taehyung. The hyungs have it a little easier, but not by much.

Now add to that Schrodinger's Hiatus and other things we never know about - family stress, life in general, maybe Jimin's plumbing went out or his invisible cat got sick, we don't know everything -- how would we begin to look at our lives, in Jimin's place? Would it be worth it?

Based on his smile at MNet last night, I really hope so.

[hewantshisbrideback]

Modern AU Jonrya + Divorced!RhaeLya Snippet

Test-running this the same way I did NHAT's first chapter! Keep in mind, this is not specifically RhaeLya or anti-RhaeLya. That said, Rhaegar, by virtue of being raised as more of a 'boy prince' than actual prince, has a characterization you may not agree with! But I don't care, it's my fic lol. Not a lot happens in this first snippet, it's more to establish the home-life Jon is coming from, the dynamic between Rhaegar and Lyanna, and because I find writing from this perspective funny. There is not a lot of Jonrya and only the set up for conflict. Enjoy! Please, tell me what you think.

It’s an age-old story. A real crowd favorite. Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. Boy sings a sad song. Girl cries. Boy gives her roses. Girl looks pretty with flowers in her hair. A classic love story, one for the books.

Things may have progressed a little quickly after. But, still, nothing truly out of the ordinary. Girl got pregnant. Boy proposed. Well… Boy had to get a divorce first. But it was a quick divorce.

Sure, maybe after the shotgun wedding, Boy and Girl had to hide out in the desert for a while, disappeared from the public without telling anyone where they went, resulting in a media-fuelled frenzy, a nation-wide search party involving everyone from paparazzi to armed police to private investigators…

Maybe her family had publicly accused him of kidnapping before the dust had settled. Acquitted of all charges, both in the legal court and that of public opinion.

Still, when Rhaegar looks back at how he and Lyanna first met, first fell in love, it really did feel that simple, that… uncomplicated, at the time. The politics, their respective family drama, the music scene and the industry bullshit, the age gap that was only a little less scandalous at the time…

He hadn’t cared about that. Neither had magazines, or newspapers. If anything, they’d eaten it all up. It only made them more sympathetic. For the most part. According to all the important publications, anyway.

Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen had been... the love story to end all love stories. Had been, as in, weren’t anymore, because, as anyone could tell you, they hadn’t been married for, say, like… a decade now? Somewhere between a decade, and thirteen years, four months, and twenty-one days.

And yet, it still smarts to think about it. Better not to, if he can help it.

Unfortunately, there’s nothing in the great, empty expanse of fucking woods he’s staring down to distract him. Why does Lyanna live out here again? Shouldn’t someone running a non-profit live somewhere with actual people around, in need of help?

Frankly, he never understood why they divorced in the first place. But I respected her wishes. Because I loved her.

Obviously. He wouldn’t be leaning against his car, waiting for his son to finally emerge from his aloof (second) ex-wife’s cabin in the woods if that wasn’t the case, all so he could spend a weekend enjoying the kid’s brooding company, pointedly not asking questions about how his mother was and what she was doing in her spare time when she wasn’t too busy saving the world and ignoring his calls.

Rhaegar taps his foot. Crosses his arms. Checks his hair in the passenger window. Uncrosses his arms. Checks his phone, again. Nothing. He texted Jon about his arrival three minutes ago.

Maybe, sometimes their conversation verged into discussion-of-Mom territory. But there was only so much for him and Jon to talk about. The kid was almost sixteen, permanently unimpressed with him, and he made no secret of the resentment he felt for him.

Rhaegar wanted to connect, he did, but he also had to acknowledge certain limitations to his position. The one thing they both shared was Lyanna. It made sense to fall back to common ground in lieu of any other options.

And he’s curious. Sue him. The woman is a bank vault when it comes to her personal life. Always was. Just ask the press. They'd tell you.

Rhaegar checks his phone. Four minutes. He thinks he can get away with ringing the doorbell. There’s literally ice on the ground. Even his openly embittered son doesn’t actually want him to freeze to death.

Well, he assumes. But the void of interest in Jon’s gaze as he opens the door and claps eyes on him might make him reconsider.

“Hey, champ.” Rhaegar forces out, and pretends like he isn’t internally grimacing at his own words. “Uh, I texted, but…”

Jon nods, already turning around, walking away and leaving the screen door to drift shut on his father. “I know.”

Rhaegar wedges a foot in before the heavy screen can shut him out completely, then shifts awkwardly in the doorway, propping it open. “You ready to head out?”

“Almost.”

He takes that as an invitation to step inside. Jon’s disappeared into a door beyond the stairs - the den, or the dining room? It’s been a while since Rhaegar got to really see the place. He’s never gotten an actual tour, technically, has maybe been in the kitchen twice, ever, let alone the rest of the place. Technically, it's a converted ranger station from back when the family held private ownership over the woods. For all he knows, it's an armory back there.

He glances around surreptitiously for a second, wondering if he has enough time to poke his head around - innocently, of course - only for Lyanna to skid into view before he can even move past the wet room. His pulse quickens, but before he can pull out a greeting as equally as cringeworthy as the first, she interrupts.

“Oh, good. You’re here. I’m heading out then.” She pushes an earring in with lethal precision and force, not even sparing a glance at the conveniently-placed hall mirror, calling back into the house, “Jon? I’m heading out! Did you hear me?”

Rhaegar almost has a heart attack when Jon pops his head in from the nearest room - he could’ve sworn the only way to the back was through the main hall, last time he was here - with a furrowed brow and a playful scowl on display. “Yeah, I’m right here. You don’t need to yell.”

Lyanna is doing her eyeliner, but she pauses to raise her own brows at him in warning. “Sometimes I think you could do with me yelling at you more, actually.”

He rolls his eyes. “Is that even possible?”

She smacks her hairbrush in his general direction in response, a fruitless gesture so familiar to Rhaegar it hurts. “Would you get out of here? With your… teenage… attitude? Ugh.” She fixes her lipstick then shoves her tools in her purse.

“Brutal, mom. Do you have my charger?”

“Our charger,” she insists. “It’s in the den. Go watch some dumb, scary movie, would you? Have a good time with your dad. And get out of my hair!”

Jon gives her a brisk salute as she hurries past.

“We will! Uh, have a good time,” Rhaegar assures her, but his eyes get caught on her cocktail dress, as she scoots past him, adjusts the skirt, and grabs her coat. “Where are you off to? Didn’t think you were even allowed to leave the woods.”

She gives him a slightly withering glance, then shrugs, smiles. “I have a thing.” By now Jon has joined them in the wet room, and she turns to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Lock up when you leave. I’ll see you two later.”

“Gross.” Jon waves from the door as she sidesteps the ice in her heels on her way to her truck. “Bye, mom. Be safe!”

“No worrying, kiddo! Have fun.”

“I know. But still.”

“Thanks, honey,” she clambers into the truck, blows a big, fat kiss from the window, intentionally over-the-top. “Mwah.”

Rhaegar follows her out, takes advantage of her patting around the front seat to plug her phone in. “Seriously, we never talk anymore. What’s the big occasion?”

She gives him a look he decides is indecipherable, then sighs. “Just meeting up with old friends of the family.” She finds the right chord to plug in her phone, then shoos him away from the window. “Okay. Really, this time - I’ll see you guys later.”

By the time she’s pulled out, and he’s shaken himself from his suspicious stupor, Jon is joining him out in the driveway. He shakes his head, then turns and gives him a fond, knowing look. “Where is she actually going?”

Jon, shrugging and hiking his backpack up his shoulder, returns the knowing look, if... decidedly less fond. “Some kind of double date.”

“What?” Rhaegar scoffs. “With who?”

“Uncle Ned and Aunt Catelyn.”

Interesting, but irrelevant. “No, who is she going with?”

“I don’t know. One of the Baratheons.” Jon is walking toward the car at this point.

“Shit!” Rhaegar jolts to follow, stops and curses as he almost slips on the ice, resumes his path with more caution. “Shit. Which one?”

“I don’t remember,” Jon says, popping open the trunk. He throws his luggage in the back.

Rhaegar rubs the back of his neck, exhaling a little in relief at just making it to the car without face-planting. “It can’t be Robert, is it? That’s insane.”

Jon pauses getting into the passenger seat to slip his backpack off his shoulder and spare his father a faintly exasperated look. “Dad…”

“Look, I - I know your uncle and him are friends, I’m sure he’s… fine, but… your mom hates him,” he rushes to clarify. Jon rolls his eyes and gets in the car, and Rhaegar scrambles to follow suit. “She always has.”

“I mean, it’s really none of your business.”

“Right, but… Right. I’m not saying she can’t. I’m just saying it would be stupid, and I hope your uncle hasn’t convinced her to give him another chance, when -”

“Are we going?” Jon interrupts, then sinks into his seat with a strange expression. “Arya and I have been waiting to see this for ages.”

“Uh…” Rhaegar blinks. Thinks. Starts to dig out his keys. “Yeah, we can go…” He starts the engine, but doesn’t take it out of park. “Just, let the engine warm up… How is Arya doing, lately, by the way? She wants to see this film?”

“Yeah,” Jon answers, slouching in his seat. “Has wanted to, for a while, now.”

“How’s she doing? You get to see her much, now she’s getting older?”

Jon turns to pretend to look at something out the window. Rhaegar knows he’s pretending. He was staring at the same goddamn woods waiting for a text for four minutes, so. “Not as much.”

Rhaegar takes this as an opportunity to change the address on his phone. “Is she busy tonight?”

“No.” No uncertainty. Not even a pause.

“You want to invite her along?”

“Seriously?” 

“Why not?” Rhaegar starts backing out of the driveway. “She’s allowed to watch scary movies, right?”

“Yeah, we watch them all the time.” Good. It was a fifty-fifty bet, considering what Catelyn and Ned are respectively like as parents.

“Why don’t you text her? We’re early anyway. We can start heading down that way, and if she says no, we’ll just… You know. Course-correct.”

“Okay. Yeah. I’ll text her.”

“Good. Great. We’ll just… head for your uncle Ned’s.”

And if they happened to run into Lyanna when they got there, well... that's a non-issue.

❦

Thanks so much for reading! Hope it piqued your interest, even though there wasn't a ton of Jonrya right away. It's partly written but not enough to share for feedback. I'm curious to get feedback on the Rhaegar and Lyanna dynamic - I know the characters have huge fans and huge antis and frankly I'm half curious and half worried as to how either party will be reacting to the situation, lol! Anyway, thanks again.

[thebroccolination]

Thank you thank you thank you OMG thank you so much for making your post about Krist! I know it takes a lot of effort!

I remember seeing the post about him being Homophobic, and I took it at face value because I couldn't be bothered to look into it, and because I never really saw him in any other productions.

I'm so extremely happy to have been given this opportunity to rectify my opinion on Krist, and as a queer person myself I entirely agree with your point about him being "vetted" by other queer people. It holds immense meaning to me.

I can't call myself a fan of Krist, mostly because I've barely seen anything with him. But as a queer person, it hurts me to know that someone who provides safety and warmth to the queer community was/is being bashed by a community I am part of.

So, thank you for spending time and effort to compile and share your thoughts, and the corresponding evidence and discourse related to Krist. And thank you for being upfront with your bias, and for acknowledging the various opinions present in the discourse.

PS: I skip plenty of heterosexual intimacy scenes because I feel kinda disconnected from them and they're not really doing anything for me. So even if Krist was being dead serious with that point, I feel that's fully valid. If you're watching something for entertainment and enjoyment, isn't it fine to skip intimacy scenes if they're not your cup of tea???

Ahh, thank you so much for this, Anon. It truly, genuinely means a lot to me. :')

I really wasn't the best person to make that post. I don't speak Thai, I've only been here for three years, and I've followed BounPrem more closely from the beginning, so there were a lot of Krist-related clips and links that I needed help finding. But I made it because I hoped it would serve as a jumping-off point for new fans and for people who'd be willing to see things from a different perspective.

There's just such a massive dissonance between the image interfandom has painted of Krist and the loud but sweet guy I've followed for the past three years. There were a lot of clips and anecdotes and stories I chose not to include in my thread/post purely because they were subjective and I didn't want to distract from the factual stuff I could find (social media posts, interviews, etc.). When you're filmed as much as he has been for the past seven years, you can't really hide who you are in a general sort of sense. And Krist really does just seem…very kind in general.

The reason I even started paying attention to him in the first place was because of a video posted by a Thai fan. He didn't have time to greet fans outside the GMMTV building because he'd gotten stuck in traffic and he had to rush to something, so he did a very quick hello/wai to the fans waiting for him and promised to come back soon. When he did, he noticed one of the fans was missing and asked the rest where she went. The remaining fans said she had to leave because she had to catch a plane (iirc) to her home elsewhere in Thailand, and Krist looked instantly guilty and remorseful that she'd waited for him. I think he even said, "Why didn't she say so?" sort of rhetorically, and I really do think he would have taken the time to talk with her if he'd known she had to leave soon. I just admire him for remembering them all well enough to notice that one was missing. That sort of kindness stands out to me.

[small rambling section]

(I apologize for using your ask for such a long post, Anon!)

Seeing the vitriol Krist gets from international fans really disappoints me. Even when he posted in support for Pride Month last week, he had dozens of international fans jumping down his throat attacking him for it because they assumed it was disingenuous even though he has been publicly supportive of the queer community outside Pride Month for years.

To no one's surprise, that level of hate just isn't present in Thai fandom. And if Krist were the monster he's been portrayed as, wouldn't Thai fans be just as, if not more, vocal about it? I mean, I'm sure Krist has his share of Thai fans who don't like him for whatever reason, but the only people I see throwing that IG story around and saying Krist should kill himself are international fans.

So.

That's a fun reputation we have.

Personally, I don't live my life in pursuit of punishment for strangers. If I don't like a celebrity, I don't give them my attention. I don't interact with them. Like, I don't know what their deal is, what they're going through. I may judge them privately, but putting that toxicity into public forums just invites toxic responses, and that's not what fandom is for me.

I truly believe that Krist was never homophobic in any way. I think he was just Very Tired of all the harassment and stalking he and Singto had to go through at a very young age before GMMTV was posting any kind of "hey everyone calm down maybe" notices.

I also know now that there's a lot more context and nuance behind Krist's early career mistakes that I still don't know, because I only got here in 2020 and I don't speak Thai. Since BMF starting airing, though, there have been older fans sharing my thread on Twitter and my post here on Tumblr, and sharing more details. Some are things I suspected, like that because SOTUS kicked off the BL wave, Krist and Singto faced a metric ton of homophobia themselves. It wasn't just fans, either, it was the country as a whole.

I don't know so much about Thai BL even after three years in this fandom, so it's bizarre and disturbing to me how enthusiastically non-Thai fans like to jump in and crucify Thai actors with an air of superiority. Even the official subtitles on the series we watch aren't reliable, and yet people think that auto-generated translations or translations done by fans from one second language into another as a hobby to help other fans get the gist of what an actor is saying is some irrefutable evidence that validates a campaign to tell actors thousands of kilometers away to kill themselves?

Like, I dunno, buddy, isn't uplifting the actors you do admire more worth your energy? And not in a "my actor is better than yours" way, but in a genuine "this thing this person did made me happy" way. "I can do both!" Yeah, I guess. But why? Harassing people helps no one. It's performative activism at best, and at worst, you're just bolstering the culture of cyberbullying that has led and will continue to lead people to take their own lives. Krist has suffered from depression. He has been to four different therapists. He is a real person with family and pets and a history of kindness that means he's quickly adopted by most of the people he works with. If you're going to take up an axe against someone, make it a politician or a lobbyist or someone who doesn't regularly use his platform to speak out for queer rights.

[end rambling]

I may spend more time on Twitter while Be My Favorite is airing just because I've seen a decent amount of Recreational Krist Hate and not enough positivity to balance it out here on Tumblr. Since his fanbase is more active on Twitter, there's been a lot of positivity to enjoy. <3

But that's why I was so happy to get this message from you, Anon. (I hope it's clear that none of my rambling up there was directed at you.)

Thank you for being kind enough to reach out. It really made the time and energy it took to make that post feel worth it. :)

[clever-and-unique-name]

As someone who's been through a lot of DID tumblr community, especially because you used to make infographics and talk about your DID and such here often... IDK, I don't want to ask if you regret talking about your DID or your parts so much, because that's too broad, but like.

[internal grumbling and vague gesturing]

Liiiiike... Hrgh. As a slightly adultier-adult than me, how do you balance having all this DID stuff online and also just like, being a 'normal' person in the world and having a good life where you're married and happy and all that?

For me/us, I feel like a lot of thinking and over-analyzing about DID has been detrimental overall, but it also got us to this place where we *don't* (need to) do that most of the time, and we're able to be pretty blurry and really only talk about DID/'parts stuff' if it becomes A Problem or something Comes Up.

I guess we're asking for your #HotTakes about this, if you'd like to share :)

(If you don't, that's totally okay, don't worry about it. Or you can tell us privately if you like! Just figured we'd ask, because like, nuance and we like your opinions/worldview a lot <3)

Hi Anni ilu :>

I'm answering this at work because I just Can't Resist but I'm not sure if the guys at home will feel the same so uh. That's a disclaimer I guess

Yearsss ago when we made this blog, we were specifically trying to #Figure Ourselves Out. That's explicitly what we made this blog for, to record and try to recognize patterns as we came to terms with having dissociated parts. And we were unemployed at the time (and also out of school? I think?) so we had a LOT of free time to be occupied with this stuff.

Which, as you mentioned, led to us reading a lot of books on the topic of dissociation and making Content about it. And also writing a lottt of more personal diary-like posts.

I don't regret that era per se; we went through a lottt of growth in that time, and it's nice to have it as a time capsule to look back on now (especially with the like, memory issues, ya know.) I don't mind it being Out There "publicly" either; we're pretty strict on what doxx-able info goes here, and our online presence is kept strictly from our irl one, with only a couple highly trusted exceptions.

HOWEVER

I do regret putting so much personal information here without fully understanding how vulnerable it made me. I didn't understand that talking about the struggles certain parts were going through would leave those parts open to people (with mostly good intentions) approaching us with commiseration and comfort--things our younger parts especially were starved for.

At that time we were quite isolated. We didn't have the skills to identify when we were fawning, or set boundaries when we did realize it. (This was before therapy.) And not everyone we let emotionally close to us should have been--something we unfortunately wouldn't learn until much later.

So like. Posting about DID in a general, informative way was pretty chill, and I wish I had the time and energy to do some of that again. But as far as publicly exploring our parts? We now have a pretty hard rule about only sharing things that have been resolved, or setting boundaries when needed.

But I feel you so much about mostly just being blurry unless something is a Problem or needs addressing. (Although it doesn't have to be big, it can be as simple as like "Why do I feel sad...oh, Reki is nearby and needs cuddles, got it.") It's just not as important now to Figure Everything and Everyone Out. I got a job to do and bills to pay. ;)

- Tris

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

What do you think about people who use the Jikook tag to announce they no longer believe in Jikook as a ship? Or who post opinions such as no longer believing their friendship is special? I’m sort of torn because on one hand the tag isn’t technically a place for only pro-ship opinions, but on the other hand I thought it was general knowledge that most people use it to seek out positive content (and I don’t mean only pro-shipping, just positive content about whichever duo even in a platonic manner).

I just find it odd someone would feel the need to announce their personal, negative opinion about a ship publicly in a ship tag (especially if they go on to then complain in said ship tag about any negative response they receive). I also don’t understand why they thought their unprompted opinion was worth sharing in the first place when it seems like something only their friends and followers would really care about. It almost comes off a bit… self-important? Or maybe I’m just overly conscious of how I use tags and most people don’t think like this? I don’t think it helps that a lot of these posts carry an air of superiority where they paint themselves as more rational and objective than shippers… and it feels almost intentionally antagonistic to then purposefully post it in a place full of them.

Do you think my opinion is unfair or oversensitive? Am I wrong about how people use the tag and am I underestimating the demand for critical shipping content? Is it too controlling or unfair to criticize or judge a person for posting debunking/negative posts about a ship and their overall bond in their ship tag? Does this mentality negatively contribute to the toxicity of shippers and the overall hive-mind mentality of requiring each other to 100% believe said ship is real? Would it discourage or push away people who don’t believe in the ship but still enjoy and positively contribute to shipping spaces?

It��s obvious who I’m talking about if you go into the tag and I hate gossiping about other bloggers (and have absolutely nothing against them and hope people leave them alone if they don’t like their posts) so I don’t expect you to post this. But if you ever feel like writing about any of this, because it’s something I’ve seen multiple people do, I’d love to know your thoughts. I really like your stance on anti-shippers so I’d be curious to know your opinions on things like tag etiquette and the phenomenon of people needing to publicly announce when they no longer believe in a ship.

I know some people like to have an outlet to express their doubts on a ship being real or not and that’s valid, obviously there's a demand for spaces like that, and the tag doesn’t belong to just one group of people… but as someone who doesn’t even have a strong opinion on the nature of Jikook’s relationship, I still feel like it’s an odd way to spend your time when you could just have fun enjoying them without having to commit to thinking they’re romantic or not. And spamming a space people use to seek out positive content with your negative, cynical (and sometimes equally biased takes) just feels like such a douchey thing to do. But I still can’t tell if I’m being like… a bitch about it when obviously there’s a desire for content like that, people have a right to post whatever they want, and overly zealous shippers can be just as annoying.

Sorry to go off about this in your inbox! But if you have any thoughts to share on any of this one day, I’d love to hear them!

Thanks for sending me the follow up ask with the link. I'm not reading all that rant because I don't feel like getting angry in the morning and especially over a ship of all things. I have that person blocked since the beginning, I sort of clocked what their deal was. Not that difficult to figure it out.

I also understand why you have all these questions and it's perfectly valid. There is no single answer though. We do need to be careful to not transform online spaces in echo chambers, but the solution to that is not being antagonistic either. In some cases, that's clearly the purpose and you can see it in the username, usage of tags, how it's targeted and so on. We all end up knowing how things work on the platforms we mostly use.

Healthy conversations surrounding ships and shipping spaces should take place. But that space needs to be created in a way that feels inclusive and not exclusionary. It's one thing to want to talk about all aspects of a ship, what clicks to you or not while being open minded about it (phrasing and tone are an indication of that) and another is to purposefully want to spread an agenda. Not just this blogger you're referring to, but also others that I've seen throughout my time here. There is no conversation taking place, it's an invitation for like-minded people and thus creating their own echo chamber in which arguments in favor of the ship are dismissed. Ultimately, all what people want is to share their opinion and for others to approve it. There is no real conversation, just the illusion of it and somehow the lie is more prevalent in anti-shipping spaces in which so called rational, anti-delusional thinking is a sign of superiority, just like you pointed it out.

I don't think we can/should control what is being posted in a tag. Perhaps there's an established etiquette that I'm not aware of, but looking at it that way can perhaps be harmful in the long run. Nevertheless, I also don't believe that flooding a tag with mostly negative takes is the right way to go. Perhaps there should be a separate one for anti-shipping discourse or keeping it in-house.

It's also a personal choice at the end of the day. People can write whatever they want on their blog. I know that in my case, when I know that I write something that obviously has potential to upset/anger fans of a ship/person, I choose not to tag the name because I know nothing productive will come out of it and it will only lead to a confrontation. Which is ultimately a waste of time.

Having very strong opinions over a k-pop ship to the point of preaching it's realness or the opposite, its lack of romantic nature, is not something that can have moral superiority attached to it. Regardless of each side, I don't think most of the people actually know the private lives of these idols so perhaps being more chill about it should be the way to go.

I've said this numerous times, but as much as shipping is villainized as opposed to supporting or even anti-shipping, it is (or should be) ultimately a fandom practice that can be fun, without necessarily getting too deep into it or a reason for conflict. It's in our hands the way we behave and what we write.

And perhaps not being complete assholes about it helps.