#the things I didn’t say in therapy

[justanothermaddieblog]

I relate so hard. When I was in my darkest depression this is was me.

Source: the things I didn’t say in therapy by Logan Duane

[poly-space-nerds]

ok i love the idea of Dream escaping the fishbowl and having to recover with Hob’s care as much as the next person but i can’t help but feel like the only place he would gather his strength is his own realm

so Dream escapes his prison and goes back to the dreaming and is determined to find his tools but he’s so weak that Lucienne is adamant about him getting rest at the moment. But he’s back in the dreaming, which means that humans can dream again. What’s the first thing Hob dreams about? his Stranger ofc. a missed meeting by over 30 years yes he’s still thinking about his friend.

Now for ppl to dream about Dream, he feels a pull to them. I don’t think people can dream about him in the way that their subconscious makes him do things. Instead it’s like a calling card. So Dream feels the pull of Hob and he can’t not go. He simply won’t miss another meeting.

Dream arrives at Hob’s door and knocks. When Hob opens it, his smile is soft and forgiving. Dream can’t believe it. Even Hob’s subconscious wasn’t angry with him. He sees his smile, so warm and inviting, and just breaks. He doesn’t cry, but he doesn’t hide his emotions and that’s enough for Hob to be immediately worried and hesitates for a second before grabbing Dreams shoulder. Dream leans into the touch, going so far as to rest his head on Hob’s shoulder. The man ushers him inside and they spend the rest of Hob’s sleep slightly cuddled on the couch, Hob holding Dream’s hand while Dream continues to lay on his shoulder, completely silent.

When Hob wakes up he feels weird. Like, he’s never really dreamt that vividly before. And he’s never had a dream where nothing really…happened? and holy shit. He hasn’t dreamed in a hundred years. He can’t really stop thinking about it all day, until he’s off to sleep again. And again, he’s in his house when a knock stirs him from his thoughts. (am i lucid dreaming? what is this?). And it’s his Stranger again. He looks tired. too tired. Hob doesn’t hesitate this time to grab his hand and lead him inside, this time bringing him to the kitchen to make some tea.

This continues to happen. By the second or third time, Hob realizes that that actually is his stranger. He doesn’t really understand it, but there’s really no other explanation. Slowly, Dream starts talking to him. Telling him everything about who he is and where he’s been the past century. He doesn’t visit every night and he doesn’t always want to talk, sometimes he asks for Hob to tell stories. Sometimes to play music to fill the noise. Hob realizes that the mirror that’s usually on his wall disappears in the dream world.

Hob doesn’t mind the silence or telling stories. He’s glad that his stranger, Dream, has a place to feel comfortable.

[3-aem]

Hey there. Just a quiet bystander who's been following your work for a while. I just wanted to say that from an external point of view if just seems that this person is extremely jealous of your talent and is trying to do everything in their power to ruin your life. They must have an extremely miserable and unfulfilling life and can only find joy on trying to make people as miserable as they are. Probably some very bad inferiority complex, they must be thrilled every time they get a reaction out of you. So please don't let them bring you down, do your best to ignore them and they most likely will eventually tire and look for a new victim, that's how this kind of hateful people is. They don't deserve your energy and attention. Lots of love for you from Chile.

i know. i have seen that sentiment and i appreciate you saying this to remind me.

but it is difficult still for me because i really don’t enjoy making people upset and it is hard for me to hear. it really affects me to see. so i want to fix it but when i realize i can’t its hard to handle. maybe also, they did finally make me as miserable as them and thats why i am saying anything at all. dealing with it internally finally became as painful as me just saying it.

[dykevanny]

every time people misinterpret the ar emails I go even more insane

[its-been-rose]

God I get in a terribly sad mood at night

Thinking about if it was a normal occurrence for Henry to be woken up in the middle of the night by his mom wailing/crying (either in the same room or in the next room over depending on if they have a 2 bedroom house) and he has to get up and console her enough for her to go back to sleep, and like, he learned to do it from young or else neither of them were going to get any sleep

Just cuddling up to his mom petting her hair like “it’s okay now ma, it happened to you a long time ago, you’re not in danger anymore. Yes I know my father died. I know he was scared and alone when he died, but he isn’t scared and alone anymore because he can’t feel anything anymore because he’s dead. Yes ma, I know you loved him very much. He loved you too. Yes ma I know you miss him and it hurts really bad even after all this time. You’ll feel better someday, ma. Yes ma I know we’re going to kill Teddy and the rest of those bastards who were in on it and get our sweet bloody revenge but just please try and think of literally anything else right now, it’s three in the morning and I want to go back to bed.”

[straight4joekeery]

Y’all say Mike has a crush on Eddie but I fully believe he has a crush on Steve and dresses like Eddie because he’s cool and absolutely nothing like Steve. He acts like he hates him to try to get over it (it absolutely doesn’t work a single bit).

[shiningstarr15]

I love how “Gregory has PTSD” is an official tag on ao3, but “Vanessa has PTSD” is not…

[mutalune]

me when people hate on aos trek:

[hiddenmoonbeam]

love waiting for a phone appointment and the clock ticks past the set time....... 15 min now.... is her day busy and delayed, will she call in a sec or in half an hour instead? is she for some reason not calling at all but I didn’t get notified? has she forgotten? no idea and there's no way for me to call so I just have to wait.....

[qbebou]

ok not to be like he’s just like me fr…. but chayanne is just like me fr…..

i’m also the oldest child with one younger sibling who needed a lot more care when we were kids and therefore was deprived of certain needs in favor of my brother. i also had a parent that was missing a lot and depended almost solely on my dad. obviously tallulah needs more help than chay, with her asthma and lesser fighting skills, not to mention she had only been playing minecraft for like a month? or two before wilbur found her. and chay knows that! he knows that she needs more help than he does he knows he’ll do anything for her he knows he has to be the strongest to protect her. my brother and i are only a year apart but i was forced to grow up very very quickly bc i was on my own a lot as a kid while my brother was sick. phil doesn’t worry abt chay when he runs off bc he doesn’t need to, chay can take care of himself. hell, he took care of all the eggs when they first left. but at the same time, it’s comforting to know ur parent is looking out for u even when u don’t need it. phil’s not a smothering parent, he’s attentive, but not smothering. but let’s be real he can also be emotionally constipated LMAO but that leads to situations like the argument and frustration between chay and tallulah when dapper was kidnapped. in his defense, he’s never been a parent before and had 2 children thrust upon him to raise on his own. he didn’t have a lot of time to adjust to parenthood like ppl in real life do, he suddenly had 2 children who had their own thoughts and opinions and emotional needs, he didn’t get the time it takes to LEARN abt how to provide that specific care and while some ppl have that innate knowledge there is a lot of learning and navigating when it comes to emotional vulnerability and regulation esp when it comes to children who are figuring it out as well. i feel for chay when he thinks he needs to be the strongest. i feel for chay when he had to make the decision to gather the eggs and leave. i feel for chay when he had to take blame for bad things happening. and i feel for chay when he realized tallulah doesn’t need him as much anymore. my brother and i are both adults now and we had a …… tumultuous relationship as teenagers for reasons that were both our own and caused by problems outside our control. but i still remember exactly how devastating it was the moment i realized that he was fine on his own. that he didn’t need me anymore. and it caused a rift between us; on my end bc i was frustrated and felt tossed aside and on his end bc he NEEDED to be independent to keep growing. i see so much of myself in chay and i desperately wish he and tallulah had a better mediator for their argument, or at least someone who could truly understand why they were so upset. i don’t think phil clocked that tallulah was so upset and adamant abt looking for dapper bc it was just her dapper and ramon surviving on their own. just bc phil didn’t witness it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and it doesn’t mean that they don’t have a much tighter relationship than they had before purgatory. and when chayanne said everyone was blaming him for the decisions he made phil was quick to tell him that no one was blaming him but also phil doesn’t know that! he doesn’t know if any blame was put on chayanne when it was just the eggs together. chayanne made the decision for the eggs to run and they trusted him bc he’s the oldest and he’s strong and he can be a leader but by running he also put the eggs thru a lot of pain and fear that they may not have gone thru if they stayed with their parents. and even if the eggs didn’t explicitly say that they blamed chayanne im sure he blamed himself for every little thing that went wrong. we’ve already seen him open up a tiny bit abt how he was questioning his decision to leave. but phil told him that chay made the best decision he could have given the information he had at the time which is true! but when ur the oldest and everyone is looking to u, all of the responsibility lies on ur shoulders. chayanne has been carrying SO much weight on his shoulders for so long it breaks my heart.

[wexpyke]

no but what was that finale… i miss longer shows so much… give us 22 episodes per season again!!! give us more time for character growth and relationship development and bring back fun filler episodes!!!! because what was this finale 😭

[cat-boy-tom]

he is papa!!

😭 yes

i need hugs stat. i need him to come back with the milk. he’s been gone too long.

[binders-and-beanies]

Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess

[apricotbuncakes]

Testosterone gave me confidence, and that confidence allowed me to put my audacity to good use.

I’ve been joking with my friends that “I now have the audacity of an army of cis men”. Some other symptoms of testosterone include:

“Brave stupidity” such as knowing I will not be able to tolerate Carolina Reaper hot sauce and still eating it anyway (and somehow roping in another [cis] guy into doing it without making fun of his masculinity)

“Cut off all the sleeves of my t-shirts” to show off my nonexistent arm muscles

“H o r n y” That is amusing as it is annoying considering I am asexual and have no desire to fuck anyone regardless of how much I love them romantically

And last but not least: Actually having a semblance of energy to get up and be happy about my life (amazing what gender affirming care will do).

[archiveofyearning]

.

[leafiion]

Victoria 🤝 Cal 🤝 Fern (somewhat) 🤝 Damien (rejuv)

I repressed/continue to repress my anger or ‘distasteful’ tendencies/habits as a plot point/as a character trait and all I got was this narrative blindness to the fact that anger and those habits, violent or not, is a natural response to literally any of these situations & repressing it in this way is more unhealthy than expressing it in literally any number of ways that don’t actually have to include murder/violence