#the trajectory could’ve been different

[rowanhoney]

.

[downin-thevalley]

suddenly remembered my dream from last night, i dreamt that i reconnected with my elementary/middle school crush and we were in a relationship and when i woke up i missed him LMAO

[angeldrawsstuffs]

I’m just thinking about the absolute weird-ass place the end of Tournament of Elements left Misako and Wu. Like, they just learned that, had the letter not been intercepted, they could’ve ended up together. The ENTIRE trajectory of their lives could be entirely different if Garmadon hadn’t messed with the letter.

(Clarifying here that I’m NOT blaming Garmadon or saying he’s a bad person for what he did. Master Chen and the venom manipulated him into doing it. Now, that doesn’t make it RIGHT, but it does explain it and I love Garm very much still.)

And, honestly, if you look at the Wusako stuff from Possession (and especially how most of the overt stuff ends after that season), it really makes sense why it happened. Wu and Misako were probably working out some really weird feelings, especially in regards to their dynamic and Garmadon himself. I mean, not even a day later, Garmadon is dead. And because you don’t speak ill of the dead, it’d be pretty hard to have an open and honest conversation about the subject. I mean, I think anyone would be working out weird feelings if they have to grapple with the fact their now dead brother/husband fucked with the entire trajectory of your life with one move he was manipulated into.

Tbh I wish the show went more into this instead of just showing seemingly out of nowhere flirting, this could’ve been really interesting.

(DO NOT BASH WU AND MISAKO IN THE NOTES, PLEASE. I LIKE BOTH CHARACTERS AND THIS IS MY PERSONAL EXPLANATION ON WHY THEY DID WHAT THEY DID.)

[lipslikethegardensofbabylon]

one of the things that makes me lose my ever loving mind about would’ve could’ve should’ve aside from the vocals, and aside from the opening siren call of the first strings is the fact that the whole song is basically about how the whole trajectory of her life was changed from one interaction and I really think that that sets the tone for the whole midnights album. It’s her retroactively looking at what happened like what could I have done differently? It goes back to the 1 where she says if one thing had been different with everything be different today? and depending on how you view it, it could be a really positive thing or it could be a really dark painful thing. I feel like it captures this piece of the female experience where will have these formative moments that can absolutely change us on a core level and the other person in the party is unaffected, doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care. okay now this realization is making me feel sick

[snowangeldotmp3]

so in Rebel Robin, though it’s focused on Robin and acknowledges the weird things that happen in Hawkins (will and barb’s disappearances, respectively), the author, A.R. Capetta, does a really good job of building Hawkins. and by building Hawkins, i mean they make it very clear that it could’ve been Robin.

in chapter fifteen of the book, November 6th, 1983, Robin is at her friend Milton’s house. They’re hanging out, watching MTV, eating dinner, etc. Robin has to go home at some point, and her only mode of transportation is a bike. Here is the scene where she bikes home.

“...There’s a rustle in the undergrowth at the side of the road. I try to ignore it. I do whatever I can to keep the strange skittering sound from sending nervous flicks of fear across my skin. I ride faster, my wheels now blazing a straight arrow down the road. I hum a little bit of the first song I can find in my head, “Hungry Like the Wolf,” but the rustle seems to get louder in response. I shout the lyrics at the top of my lungs.” (pg 120.) “Headlights pierce the night behind me, and the rustling goes quiet as a car passes. Right when I let myself believe it’s gone, it comes back. Louder. Closer. There’s another sound beneath it, soft and pulsing. Something like blood rushing through a heart or breath dragged up a windpipe. I pull onto my street and by the time I drop my bike in the driveway, I'm running scared and I don't care who knows it. I sprint to the door--thank God it's unlocked--slam it shut, twist the lock behind me, and push my back against the solid wood." (pg. 121.) "...I pick it up, hoping for a voice. Any voice. I hear a second of hard breathing and I think that whatever just happened to me is happening to someone else in Hawkins." (pg. 121-122.)

After this, the power goes out, starting with the Byers' house (as we've seen in the show), and then Robin's goes out fairly quickly after her experience (which leads me to believe that she doesn't live that far from Will. Especially since it seems like the Demogorgon was trailing after her, too.) You could replace Robin in some of these scenes with Will, and it would read almost exactly the same as Will's disappearance. It got me thinking, though, and there are two ways that this train of thought has taken me, and now you all have to hear about it.

The first train of thought is this: What if Robin had been taken instead of Will? What would that look like? Who would search for her? she's not friends with Steve or Nancy or Jonathan at this point. (in fact, she actively resents two of these people.) Besides Milton and maybe Kate, I doubt her friends would've searched for her. Dash is a mix of Tommy H and season 1 Steve, and his control over Kate is reminiscent of Steve and Nancy. (which is the point, i know.) but in this case, Barb still would've disappeared, meaning that Nancy still had to search for Barb and fight some Demogorgons. I doubt her parents would've done too much, as she states that they "don't believe in worrying." Not only that, but her parents have admitted to her that she was an accident, "My parents had me by accident (nobody gets pregnant in a VW van on purpose)..." (pg. 40.) and she's described by her parents as "not a hard child to raise" and through several scenes in the book Robin indicates that she's practically raised herself, her parents are nothing short of neglectful, only parenting when they absolutely have to. But this question haunts me because it's one that changes the trajectory of the whole show. because if this is the case, does Nancy still find Jonathan? do they really go fight the Demogorgon together? do they go searching for Barb and then find Eleven? what then of Robin? Do they go in search of Barb, only to find a dead Barb and a barely alive Robin? and what about Hopper and Joyce? Furthermore, what would happen in a season 2 situation with the Mind Flayer? Who would be there to notice if she was acting differently--possessed by the Mind Flayer? certainly not her parents.

what this train of thought proves to me is that, at least, in the first two seasons, could not progress without a character like Joyce because her worry and love for her son drive her to the actions that put this plot in motion. If Joyce had acted anything like Robin's parents, the story would have fallen apart.

The second train of thought (and a much more fun train one) is this: What if the Demogorgon got both Will and Robin? They both disappear into the Upside Down, trying to survive. I figure that Robin would do what she can to protect both of them, considering that when she first meets Will, the first thing she wants to do is to comfort him and tell him that life gets better, but the second thing she wishes she could do is to run away from Hawkins. So now Hawkins has three missing kids; Will, Robin, and Barb. I imagine that much of the season would be the same. I would also imagine that Will and Robin traversing the Upside Down would've been a great dynamic to see. Perhaps it's Robin who's trying to contact Joyce through the phone or figures out that the lights can send messages through the Upside Down--prompting Will to send his messages to Joyce. When Eleven has to find them in the sensory deprivation, she finds them and tells Joyce and Hopper that there's someone there with Will, hiding the both of them from the Demogorgon. When Joyce and Hopper finally find Will, they find Robin there too, barely alive but Hopper grabs her as well and they make it out. I would assume that Joyce would thank Robin profusely for keeping an eye on Will and that Robin would practically be adopted by Joyce.

I'd also like to think season 2 would've been wayyy different. The Mind Flayer takes one of them or the other (or both) and opens a whole new world of possibilities.

Sorry, this post got out of hand; I was skimming Rebel Robin and didn't notice this until I skimmed it. Anyways, feel free to add to this post, I came across this in the book and knew i had to talk about it lol!

[rexxdjarin]

Unwritten

The Captain’s Log Prequel

A Captain Rex x OC: Mari Vontas Origin Story

Chapter 3: Collisions of Fate

Series Summary: Mari Vontas has spent nearly twenty years of her life rising to the surface of the bustling ecumenopolis of the Republic Capital planet of Coruscant. Now, about a year into the conflict known galaxy-wide as the Clone Wars, Mari finds herself on a Civilian Rights Committee serving closely under none other than Senator Padmé Amidala. Though her passion for justice fuels her professionally, her personal life has yet to catch up. That is, until a night at the clone bar 79s changes her passion for her job, her historically rocky love life and the trajectory of her destiny forever.

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Pairing: Captain Rex x OC Mari Vontas Word Count: 15.4k Series Rating: Explicit (18+ only, Minors DO NOT INTERACT) Chapter Summary: Mari grapples with an exceptionally upsetting waiting game, a colossal new task at work and the idea that fate is often pre-determined. You never know what might hit you and when, but you’ll definitely know when it does. Chapter Warnings: 18+ Explicit, NSFW, P in V Sex, Oral Sex (M Receiving), Anxiety and Overthinking, Slight struggles with self-worth, Miscommunication, Language, Political References, References to Canon Plot, References to Canon, Mentions of the Ethics of War, References to Violence and Injuries

There was no caf in the galaxy strong enough to shake the exhaustion from Mari’s body. The warm cup she held firmly in her jittery hand certainly wasn’t doing the trick. Her hands shook as she tried to wake up, and her puffy eyes stung with every blink. She’d done her best to pull herself together to look presentable for work after a long weekend of sulking around her apartment.

It had been a long time since she’d been this upset over a guy. In all her years of dating, casual flings, and one-night stands, no man had ever gotten to her like this. She could’ve sworn she’d felt something different about him.

As she stepped inside the tram and took her seat, she leaned her head on the fogged window and tucked herself in for the ride to work. Normally, the ride took mere minutes, but, like everything else in her life at present, today there was a hiccup slowing everything down. A speeder had crashed through the tramline on her usual route forcing her to take the long way around. The route took her right over the top of the downtown levels in the nightlife district—past the last place she wanted to think about.

As if her morning wasn’t already going poorly enough, she closed her eyes just as the infamous neon sign blinked into view and the tram sped past the very spot she last saw him on the platform. 

This tram line was noisier and more packed than her usual one. Parents of all species were corralling little ones into their seats as they rode to school, slickly dressed banking representatives talked loudly into their comms about credit exchange rates, and a group of Dugs danced and writhed along the handrails to earn a few spare credits for entry into the podracing circuit. She usually hated busy tramcars–the extra few minutes she could close her eyes and rest on her route did wonders for her alertness at work. Today, she was grateful the ruckus could at least drown out her thoughts.

Pathetically, she’d cried a good majority of the weekend away. She hated feeling like she’d made a fool of herself in front of all those clones. They probably thought he’d taken her home and had his way with her. To his brothers, he looked like the man, and she looked unsavory at most. That hurt and made her stomach churn. 

She thought he was a better man than that, but maybe her intuition was weakening now that she’d spent over a year in her cushy job. The old Mari—who spent days out at clubs and partying with friends—would’ve been able to get a better read on him.

She’d tried reasoning with herself that maybe something had happened. He was a clone captain after all. He had a job to do and was called away for something important. It wasn’t personal. Yet, she knew of plenty of troopers who found the time to make an effort if it mattered that much to them. Maybe to him, she didn’t. 

The bitter sting of not meaning anything to anyone was what had gotten her so upset. She knew that feeling all too well, and she certainly hadn’t anticipated him being the kind of guy who would make that feeling rise in her again. She might be a confident girl with her life together now, but some wounds took longer to heal and she thought a soldier would understand that.

She was all cried out by the end of the weekend and she was not about to let herself fall apart again on a public Coruscanti tram. 

Mari had wanted to talk to Fox more than anything, but her calls to him went unanswered. She figured he was probably busy roughing up some thugs during typical security or reconnaissance patrol shenanigans on the underworld levels. The thought of that was the first thing to make her smile all weekend and she knew he’d get a kick out of hearing that. 

Fox liked to talk about the highlights of his days to decompress after exhausting assignments, reiterating tales of his well-trained troops’ battle humor and the punks he and the Corries busted. Mari loved watching the way his eyes lit up when someone cared enough to listen to him.

Rex’s eyes lit up the same way when they talked and flirted that night. She liked the way a real smile looked on any clone, but especially on him. His dark eyes twinkled and his lips quirked into an appreciative little smirk when listening to her and it gave her butterflies in her stomach so strong she could feel them even now. 

Although she was pissed about being stood up, she still hoped he was alright. She could look up his status report in the Republic data files when she got to work and pester Fox for whatever information she couldn’t find. She’d feel better about being upset at him if she at least knew he was alive.

As the tram finally rolled to a screeching halt at the stop located on the opposite side of the domed Senate Building, Mari let her feet guide her into the bustling crowd and drifted back into her thoughts. Maybe she had truly imagined the whole thing or severely misinterpreted Rex’s intentions. Maybe the interaction was nothing more than some drunken flirting. Maybe he was just another shitty guy in her long list of shitty guys hoping they could score, but when the alcohol-fueled haze lifted they forgot all about her.

Her heart told her that Rex wasn’t that kind of man. He couldn’t be—not when he held and kissed her like that, gazing at her like he was seeing the stars of hyperspace for the first time. But her quick-witted, traumatized mind told the soft yearning in her heart to quiet down. Hope was a dangerous thing for her sensitive little soul to have and if she didn’t fight every day to protect herself who would?

Mari had mindlessly walked all the way to the lift, scanning her badge to select her floor. Her chest ached as she watched who she was pretty sure was Commander Thorn and some shiny new Corrie trainees checking clearance badges at the security entrance to the ground level. The lift doors slid closed just before he could notice she was there and rocketed her up to her office. She was actually thankful for the start of the work week because she could spend time in the one place that didn’t remind her of Rex. 

As soon as she stepped into her office, she was greeted by every member of her team already hard at work at their desks. Senator Amidala had a flexible work policy, so it was very rare that everyone was at work at the same time. The entire office being filled with bustling senate staff meant only one thing: there was an event happening. Mari sighed deeply, not exactly thrilled about the prospect of having to put on a professional smile while her personal life was being flipped on its head.

She made her way over to her desk and noticed her datapad blinking with unread transmissions and overdue reports. Yeah, something is definitely going on. In her subdued state and rush to get to work, her caf had gotten cold and she reminded herself to make a fresh one before settling in to find out what the big to-do was. Just as she was about to sit down and type her code digits into her datapad, Padmé’s office doors wooshed open.

“Oh good. You’re here, Mari. Thank the stars!” Padmé smiled so wide her eyes crinkled into little sparkling half-moon shapes. “I have a sizable favor to ask of you and I’ll be more than grateful for your help.” She made her way over to sit in the chair on the other side of Mari’s desk and folded her hands onto her lap.

She looked happier than she had in quite some time like some large weight of worry had been lifted off of her petite shoulders. All the light in the galaxy seemed to gravitate toward her and she glowed with the kind of radiant positivity that made people want to follow her. 

“Yes, of course, Padmé. What can I do?” Mari replied, shoving her own personal turmoil further inside herself. Her anger at her dream man’s inaction would have to be dealt with some other time. This may be the type of distraction she needed after all.

“Well, as you might now be aware, my Jedi friends have returned from a few dangerous missions and they bring news about a need for relief supplies in the systems of the inner rim. They finally have the chancellor’s buy-in, but…” Padmé stopped, hesitantly looking up at Mari with an unanswered question likely coming next.

Mari had a sneaking suspicion that whatever she was about to disclose meant mountains worth of work for her to do in the coming days, which was not exactly what she had in mind when she thought work would be a welcome distraction after this weekend’s disappointment. 

“Well?” Mari giggled. “You’re going to ask me to make the impossible happen, aren’t you?”

Padmé smiled and looked down at her hands in her lap, her slender fingers fidgeting with the little white necklace she often wore. “You know me too well, Mari. I am sorry to ask this of you, but the chancellor suggested we hold a charity gala by week’s end in order to raise funding for relief supplies. We’ll need someone to organize much of the event and I trust no one more than you to handle something this important for me.”

The lightness Padmé seemed to exude was nothing short of infectious, and Mari was powerless to resist. Letting out a silent sigh, she agreed. “I will start making some holocalls. You’ll get the guest list to me as soon as possible, right?” Mari begrudgingly swiped up on her datapad to start researching catering menus from the senate kitchen droids as Padmé, utterly beaming, got up from her seat and turned to leave for her next meeting.

“Of course, already on it. Everyone who is here today is making calls to potential donors and celebrities to invite them personally. You’ll have a rough number of attendees by the end of the rotation. I cannot thank you enough, Mari. I don’t know how I would ever do this without you.” She trailed off as she rounded the corner and down the hallway out of sight.

Mari massaged her temples with the pads of her fingers and winced at the thought of all the transmissions she’d have to send in the next rotation in order to make this happen. It would be exhausting work on top of an already emotionally draining last weekend, but it was Padmé asking and it was for the greater good. She couldn’t say no even if she wanted to. Besides, she knew from experience just how helpful supplies and rations from kind, selfless supporters were for those who were suffering in this war.

She groaned softly to herself, taking an apprehensive look at her to-do list for the week and blocking out time for nothing else but this project. Weekly lunches with Siviee and her usual walks around the Senate District levels in the mid-afternoon would have to be cut from her schedule. At least there wouldn’t be any time to think about Rex.

Yet, as the hours went by and her fingers cramped from sending hundreds of transmission orders all over the holonet and senate private network, thinking about Rex was all she did–his day-to-day training, the way he studied her intently as she told him about herself, his slight side smirk whenever she did anything to amuse him, she could not get his buzzed blonde hair and those mesmerizing brown eyes out of her mind. Her stomach fluttered as she reminisced about his hands on her waist, his tongue sliding with hers as their centers brushed heated friction against each other.

She couldn’t deny how incredible her body had felt against his, no matter how much he’d wounded her heart. She hated that he’d affected her like this, especially if he didn’t care enough to reach out again, but she could barely think straight from the pressure building between her thighs.

It couldn’t hurt to check on him, right? 

Taking a brief break from her hectic typing, Mari found herself scouring the Republic records for any mention of his current status. She couldn’t remember his clone birth number, so she took to searching the holonet for articles about the 501st. Most just mentioned General Skywalker and his padawan, Ahsoka Tano, with no clone trooper names or numbers even discussed. Although, there was nothing in any of the holonet reports about tragedies occurring for that specific clone legion, which made her both hopeful that everything was fine and angry that it gave him no excuse not to call her.

It was nearing midday when Mari realized she had completely forgotten about her miserable excuse for a cup of caf sitting on her desk. She picked up the cup and swirled the cold liquid around, feeling her disgust for her entire situation boiling up in her all over again. 

With her anger bubbling up inside, a month's worth of preparation work on her plate, and a stale cup of caf in her hands, Mari shoved herself out of her chair and onto her feet, watching her coworkers militantly executing every holocall, and made her way to the wing of the Senate Dome occupied by the Corries. She snorted as she walked past them. Most of them had never known struggle and had never gone without necessities in their entire cushy lives–not like Mari had.

Growing up an orphan on the lower levels of Coruscant had its difficulties. Although she and Siviee had lived in the same support home for underprivileged life forms, they had rejected much of the help they were freely given purely out of spite. Neither of them wanted anything if it meant they had to accept handouts from people who helped others just to make themselves look better. Granted, they weren’t growing up on a battlefield during a galaxy-wide war like most were now. Still, the less time she had to spend around her coworkers that were only there to appease their rich families’ publicists the better.

Her head was swimming and all she wanted was to sit in her friend’s office and blow off steam. She marched down the corridor past the busy staff of other senators and senate guards escorting visitors around the maze of hallways. She could feel herself getting angrier as she remembered all the time she’d wasted waiting by her datapad all weekend.

Gods, I feel like such an idiot, she thought. She should’ve known she was just another guy’s fun little night out. She never meant as much to them as she wanted to, no matter how much her feelings made her hope otherwise. She huffed bitterly, holding back the steaming tears of anger as they welled up in her lash line.

She approached Fox’s door, punching in the passcode and bursting into the room without her usual announcement of her arrival or even so much as a courtesy knock to warn him first.

“You stupid men are all the fucking same, you know? Nat-born, clone, doesn’t matter. You all exceed in treating me like shit!” Mari shouted angrily, stomping closer to his desk and watching Fox’s graying temples emerge slowly as he turned his chair around to face her.

His heavy scowl raised in surprise at the sight of her roused and angry like a feral tooka. He held up his hands in mock surrender and scoffed jokingly, “Wayii… what the hell has gotten into you?”

He’d barely gotten the words out before she slammed her fists on his desk, her words tumbling out with the flood of emotion she’d been repressing. “Inconsiderate, that’s what it is. You don’t just talk to a girl all night at 79’s in front of your entire battalion and then never fucking call again. Like, who the ever-loving Sith hells does he think he is? I might know how to seduce a man, but I am not a piece of meat. I have feelings, and I don’t like to be toyed with, and–”

Fox jumped from his desk, realizing that she wasn’t joking, and moved swiftly to diffuse her like a triggered bomb. His large gloved hands caught her upper arms and he crouched closer to her eye level. In the deepest, most level tone he could muster, he spoke again, “Mari… hey… Mari, it’s alright. Take a breath.” He guided her closer, instructing her to match her breathing with his own. “Breathe with me. Then tell me what happened, alright? I can’t help you if I can’t understand you, ok?”

She could feel herself shaking, her body returning to the same state of breakdown she’d been in all weekend. She closed her eyes and listened to his breathing, grounding herself in the feeling of his firm, comforting hands. When she finally opened her eyes again, she was met with the same brown eyes she’d longed to see again but in the face of a completely different man. The sight of them brought the tears back, welling up much faster now and screwing her face tighter in anguish.

She shrank down into herself, the boiling conflagration she was mere moments ago now simmered down to embers. “I met someone,” she muttered softly. “Someone who made me feel something I never had before. Someone kind, noble… so different than every man I’ve ever met. It just felt special and meaningful, you know? And he said he’d call, but he never did.” She sniffled and felt a tear cool on her cheek, looking down at her feet where she stood uncomfortably in front of Fox.

He stiffened and worked his jaw in enmity. Anyone who dared to purposefully hurt one of his dearest friends would feel his wrath. “Give me his name and I’ll take care of it, Mari,” he offered, trying to maneuver to look at her face, but she couldn’t bring herself to look up again.

“You can’t, Fox. I mean… I-I can’t ask you to do that,” Mari groaned regrettably, shifting her weight between her feet as she skirted the inevitable truth.

“Oh, trust me, I’m not doing it because you’re asking. I’ve got to teach someone a lesson for my own peace of mind,” Fox chuckled darkly, moving to bring her closer and encircling her in a tight hug. He tucked her much smaller frame into his chest and rested his chin on top of her head, embracing her protectively as she finally relaxed into him. “So, I’ll ask you again. Name?”

Mari let a few beats go by as she accepted the embrace, prolonging the awkward conversation she knew she’d have to have the second she revealed it. Besides, some comfort from one of her closest friends was all she really wanted. She’d take as much of that from Fox as he was willing to give before he jumped into marshal commander problem-solving mode.

She let out a deep breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and mumbled into Fox’s chest. “It was your brother. Rex.”

Suddenly, Fox froze for a split second and backed her up, looking at her wide-eyed in utter disbelief and confusion. Mari finally met his gaze again and blinked up at him innocently. “I’m sorry, did you say, Rex?” Fox repeated, dipping his head closer to her as if he hadn’t heard her properly.

“Yes. Blond hair buzzed real short, blue jaig eyes on his helmet. The… the kindest brown eyes,” Mari recalled, running her trembling fingers along her bottom lip and letting out a dreamy sigh. “Really… really good kisser.”

Fox groaned in mock disgust, rubbing his tired eyes, “Alright, alright I get it. I just can’t believe this entire time we’ve been talking about my little brother.” He backed up into his desk and sat casually on its edge, folding his burly arms across his chest as he worked to process everything. “Spill. Everything. Tell me from start to finish what happened. There’s gotta be an explanation.”

Mari slowly sat down in the chair behind her and hugged her arms to her chest. “I went out with the girls to 79’s. Siv was bartending, so we got drinks on the house. The 501st was back planetside for the first time in a while, I think, and well… I was just drawn to him. We talked and flirted and kissed a little.”

“That’s all? I’ve heard much worse from you,” Fox chimed in, chuckling to himself but earning an irritated glare from Mari in response. “Sorry, go on.”

“We were just about to find a way home together when he got called in. And he promised he’d call me, so we could see each other again, but then the whole weekend went by and he never did. Still hasn’t.” Mari shook her head in disappointment, feeling suddenly stupid for having such hope for someone she’d only spent a few hours with. “I know it sounds stupid, Fox. I know. You can make fun of me. But with him I just… I really thought I felt something this time. That, for once, maybe he did, too.”

Fox let out a deep breath and bent down to her eye level. “Mari, I know Rex. He’s not the type to, well… he’s not your usual type, no offense. He’s a good man. Probably one of our best. If you haven’t heard from him, something must’ve happened. He’d never leave anyone high and dry. That’s not his way.”

“Well, I figured I could come here and have you check on him. You have military clearance that I don’t. Plus, I can’t remember his birth number. That’s the only way someone from the senate can locate a clone.” Mari grimaced, letting her shoulders fall somewhat hopelessly. She muttered softly, “I haven’t cared this much about someone in a long time… maybe ever.”

Fox hummed deeply, reaching over his desk for his datapad and shifting into the chair beside her. He tapped a few buttons and studied Mari’s face for a moment while the information loaded, reaching over and brushing a tear track from her cheek. “I can see that. You don’t come in here ranting and raving about just any guy you’ve victimized,” he joked lightheartedly, doing his best to make her feel better.

Mari laughed gently, rolling her eyes at him expectedly. Not many people realized just how snarky and cheeky Fox could be, and it warmed her to know that she was one of the few he let his guard down with.

“Fox, I come in here ranting and raving all the time. That’s kind of our thing.” She waved her hand and shrugged, “Though, usually you have caf for me.”

“Hey, had I known you were coming I could’ve made you one. Instead, you just burst in here. Didn’t even knock. What if I had company?” Fox argued playfully, raising his brows suggestively.

Mari actually laughed this time, “Oh please, when’s the last time that happened?”

Fox tapped his comm a few times to signal something and then narrowed his gaze, a smirk slipping onto his scarred lips, “Gentleman never tells.” 

His blast doors opened mere moments later and a pair of shinies walked in with two fresh cups of caf, handing both to their commander and saluting formally. “At ease, boys. Thank you. You’re dismissed for the day.” 

They both rushed out an excited “Thank you, sir,” before practically tripping over each other to leave the room.

Mari smiled for the first time all day at the gesture and carefully took the cup from his hand. “Thank you, Fox. I guess you do have your moments.” Before Fox could form a reply, his datapad beeped to signal his search was complete and he quickly opened up the file he requested.

“Right, so… Captain Rex, CT-7567, his birth number by the way. You might want to jot them down so you can remember, Miss Nosy.” He pointed to her holocomm and continued reading. “Nothing out of the ordinary that I can see here. I do see he’s been on an assignment the last few rotations for a mission off-world, so it’s not like he was intentionally avoiding you.”

Mari took a long swig of the steaming hot caf, letting it warm her to her bones and settling her nerves a bit. Fox had even remembered to have the shinies add cream and sugar to it for her. “I guess so. Still not a great excuse, but at least nothing’s happened to him. Can you keep tabs and let me know if anything changes?”

Fox smiled, taking a sip of his caf and smacking his lips. “Sure. I’ll let you know when he’s planetside again. However, if he doesn’t tell you himself first, rest assured that I will kick his ass. It’s been a while since I’ve made him eat the mats.” 

He set down his datapad and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “But, hey, I’d like it to go on record that this is the first guy I actually like for you, and I’m not just saying that because he’s got my good looks. Give him some time to explain himself before you go all rhydonium explosive on him. I’m sure he’ll make things right. He always does.”

“Thank you, Fox, for putting up with me and for caring.” Mari grinned at him, Fox’s approval wasn’t a requirement by any means, but it was appreciated after all she’d been through with men. He had seen her at her worst and had done his best to look out for her whenever he could. She didn’t usually listen to him, as following her feminine desires always came first, but she was grateful for his support.

It made her think twice about her anger, though. If Fox approved of her choice and everything he was saying about Rex was true, he might be the one man worth giving a second chance to. Although Rex had seemingly done a lot already to severely jeopardize his chances with her, maybe this was the one time Mari would follow her heart instead of her head. She could be mad at him and let him work overtime to prove himself and earn her trust. Hell, they’d barely even gotten a first date.

The rest of the week went by in a snap. Mari spent every waking second working to carry out the seemingly impossible task of preparing an entire charity gala on a moment's notice. She had been able to nail down nearly every aspect of the event, from the food and refreshments down to the holonet reporters on the crimson carpet that would publicize the event. 

The only task on her list left unchecked was assigning the clone security team, which she couldn’t bring herself to look at right away. She had hoped with all her power that Fox and the Corries would be the chosen forces. It was the logical choice being that they were already stationed within the Senate Building. Yet, the final decision rested with Padmé, and the second that General Anakin Skywalker himself walked through her office door, Mari knew there was no way he’d allow anyone but his men to take the assignment. Even though she still hadn’t heard from him, it seemed she wouldn’t be able to avoid Rex forever.

When she received the notice that the 501st was indeed taking up the security detail assignment, she found herself rummaging through her closet for a dress that would make her look irresistible. The form-fitting satin in sparkling sapphire blue was sure to capture his attention and this time she wanted to make sure that he was the one left alone on the platform desperate for more.

Her head screamed at her to roll her eyes and treat him with the same evasion he’d shown her, but her heart leapt out of her chest at the news allowing those butterflies she’d felt for him to swoop in, in its place. Mari decided she owed it to that little flutter in her chest to follow that feeling as far as it would take her. She hoped that would be into his arms or bed, whichever presented itself first.

–-

The crowded hallways of the Senate Building swelled around Mari as she made her way to her office. Everything had been transformed with glitzy decorations. If she hadn’t planned every minute detail herself, she never would’ve recognized that this was the same place she came to work every day. Giving herself due credit, she admitted it was not a bad job for having only four rotations of planning time.

She checked her reflection in a transparisteel art piece hanging on the wall outside Padmé’s office, smoothing out any wrinkles in her dress and reapplying lipstick to the plush of her cupid’s bow. She had to look absolutely flawless. Both because it would be political suicide if she didn’t and because she’d already seen dozens of 501st troopers patrolling the halls. She had to be impossible to miss for the captain she’d dreamt about and cried over all week.

Her dark curls swept over the glowing tan of her shoulders and her long, dark lashes drew in the admiration of nearly every man she passed by. A few of the troopers had even stopped to watch her pass, knowing full well they weren’t supposed to. She was knocking them out plenty already. All she had to do now was find her intended target.

She held her small clutch purse close to her as she entered Padmé’s office, finding her boss and her Jedi security detail already inside. A shining copper protocol droid promptly nodded at her and offered a tray of glowing gold champagne. She accepted it carefully, taking a small sip as her boss waved her over excitedly.

“Mari! Welcome, welcome!” Padmé called, rushing toward her in an elegant, backless purple gown and hugging her close. “Stars, you look gorgeous in this,” she complimented, backing up to take in the full look.

“Thank you, Padmé.” Mari spun around slowly, stopping for a mock pose and laughing. “So do you. What kind of magic is holding that dress up?” she pointed out, noticing the lack of straps or even lines of underwire keeping everything in place.

“Force willing, I’ll duratape it up if I have to,” General Skywalker joked, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms as he inched closer. He’d been keeping a protective and cautious eye on the senator since Mari had walked into the room. She’d never seen a Jedi take their mundane security job this literally.

“Oh hush, Master Jedi. It’ll stay just fine. Plus, you’d never let anyone get too close anyway, right?” Padmé argued playfully, winking at Mari as the general huffed his tentative agreement beside her.

He narrowed his eyes at her as if this was continuing an earlier conversation that Mari wasn’t privy to. “Right. Well, uhm, I’m Anakin Skywalker. We’ve never actually met, but I’ve passed your desk lots of times. Mari, right?” He reached out a hand, the argumentative energy between himself and Padmé dissipating as he greeted Mari instead.

“Yes, I am Mari Vontas… but I know who you are. You steal all our visitor’s passes and never bring them back,” Mari teased, tipping her glass at him in jest and laughing. “Padmé talks about you all the time.”

General Skywalker smiled courteously, like he was truly pleased to hear that, and tapped a few buttons on his comm. “You know how it is with old friends.” He looked between both Mari and Padmé and opened his comm channel as it clicked on. “Lots of history. If you’ll excuse me, ladies, duty calls.” He nodded, brushing past the two of them carefully to answer his holocomm.

“So how are things going so far?” Mari asked, surveying the room and finding everything going exactly as planned. The droid servers were offering drinks and hors d’oeuvres to guests popping into the senator’s office before heading off toward the banquet room down the hall, and clone troopers dotted the hallway to monitor and guide the crowd. She was impressed by the intricate strategy and discipline of these boys. If she ever managed to locate Rex, she’d make it a priority to thank him for being so efficient on such short notice after stunning him into silence.

“Very well,” Padmé confirmed, sipping her drink as she pulled a flimsi with her speech notes from her desk. “The general and his Padawan are handling everything. Should be all set to make a quick toast to the VIP attendees in just a little while, and Captain Rex is doing a great job with patrols as usual.”

“Have you seen him yet?” Mari asked hesitantly, trying to be as innocuous as possible. Her eyes scanned over the plastoid buckets of every trooper she watched walk by, secretly hoping one of them was him.

Padmé smirked, noticing the unusual apprehension from her notoriously confident assistant, “Yes. He was here earlier. I didn’t know you knew him.” She cocked her head, trying to get a read on Mari.

Mari shrugged cooly, trying to play off her interest in him, and took another sip of her drink. She wiped her lipstick off the rim and spoke as matter-of-factly as possible, “I don’t. Not really. But I’d like to.” Her eyes went wide as she realized how the unfortunate choice of words made her look and Padmé did not let it go unnoticed.  Mari stumbled in an attempt to disguise her obvious interest. “You know, t-to thank him for this. For all this. They’re doing great. I agree.”

Padmé giggled, “Well, Mari, a girl doesn’t put on a dress like that for no reason. He is quite handsome and I know him very well. I could put in a good word for you. Unless of course there’s more to this story. ” She smirked, stepping closer to keep their conversation more private. “I always thought there was something going on with you and Commander Fox, personally.”

Mari shook her head, looking around the room once to make sure any clones were out of earshot before whispering. “No, nothing with Fox. He and I are just really good friends. There is a lot more to the story, but I don’t think now’s a good time.”

Before Padmé could answer, a soft alarm chimed signaling the time for her evening toast. She patted Mari on the shoulder and nodded her head. “Find me later. I want to hear everything.” With that, she lifted her drink and stepped to the front of the small platform her desk sat on.

Mari moved off to the side, quietly greeting both Bail Organa and Mon Mothma with a smile as they emerged from the crowd. As Padmé began her speech, Mari let her mind wander, watching the faces of some of the most affluent and powerful people on the planet absorb her boss’ words. 

Tonight would be a make-or-break moment. If she saw Rex again then it was because she was meant to and if not, she’d move on with her life like nothing ever happened. There were other men out there and Mari wasn’t going to lose any more sleep over someone who wouldn’t make an effort. As much as she appreciated Padmé, she didn’t necessarily want anyone else to have to force something to happen between her and Rex. She was special enough that he should want to find her on his own.

As soon as she pondered that thought, her gaze was drawn to a pair of unmistakable eyes. Blue jaig eyes carefully painted on a white plastoid bucket. Finally. she thought as her heart leapt into her throat. 

He stood with his arms locked behind his back and legs shoulder width apart as he surveyed the room beside a small, teenage Togruta in all maroon with a silver lightsaber attached at her hip. His Jedi commander is a Padawan. Mari smirked to herself as she imagined how spunky, confident, and probably bossy she would have been if she got to be in charge of so many warriors at that tender age.

She took in the sight of him for the first time in more than six rotations. All the emotions she’d felt for him came flooding back, and she couldn’t believe she’d thought about moving on for a single second. His shoulders were so broad it was intoxicating and all she could think about was how they had felt under her palms as she’d ridden his lap torturously in the bar. She could practically feel his strong thighs flexing as they held her weight on top of them with ease and his trim waist between her legs as she wrapped them around him.

Gods he is beautiful. What a man. she thought to herself, trying to keep from pouncing on him from her place on the small platform. More than anything she wished he’d take that damn helmet off so she could see his crooked little grin and the burnt umber warmth in his brown eyes that she’d fantasized about. She wanted to see his face desperately and for him to see hers.

“I want to thank my incredible junior senate assistant, Miss Mariella Vontas, for helping organize this wonderful event tonight. Mari, we couldn’t have done this without you.” 

Padmé calling her name tore her from her dream state and she looked around in surprise as every sentient life form in the room had their eyes on her. She smiled graciously, bowing her head as she took a look around the room, raising her champagne flute humbly at being so publicly recognized for her efforts. When she turned back to look for her helmeted heartthrob, she was no longer met with the darkened visor set in his white helmet. Now her seductive gaze locked with his, eyes opened wide in utter shock and awe at her standing before him once again.

It felt like someone set off a seismic charge inside her. She blocked out all sound apart from the thumping in her chest rapidly increasing. Her heart raced with excitement and adrenaline pumped through every last vein as she could feel his desire for her burning into her very soul. 

He stared at her with a dopey grin on his face and she smiled at how endearing it was for a man that incredible to be so awe-struck by just a regular girl like her. She had to find a way to get him alone, so they could talk about whatever this was. If she had to yell at him for waiting so long, she would. If she had to talk to his general to get him excused from duty for the night, she would. She was ready to confront every obstacle just to have him in her orbit once more.

Maybe he didn’t know who she worked for or that she was going to be here, but it was like every planet aligned to bring him here before her. However, she was prepared to make him work for her attention this time. She could still feel the bitter sting of anger from the supposed rejection, but she was glad fate brought them together again. She’d never been more sure that her heart was right, no matter what logic and reason told her.

She could hear Fox’s words in her head. Give him time to explain himself. He’ll make things right. He always does. She was ready for a man who would prove himself to her and who wouldn’t fail to be everything she wanted.

With her drink in hand and unbelievable confidence in the sway of her hips, she stepped into the crowd, heading for the door and hoping to all the stars above he’d follow her lead. She made her way to the banquet hall a few doors down, locating her seat at the table along the back wall set aside for the senator’s aides. Luckily, it gave her a perfect view of the entryway and she waited with bated breath for him to follow in her footsteps. Hopefully, he’d find time to quickly talk to her before duty called again.

Sure enough, he practically burst through the doors with the Padawan in tow. His helmet was tucked under his left arm and he turned to speak to the Togruta girl hurriedly, her large blue eyes peeking over his shoulder to stare in Mari’s direction briefly. Mari picked up her flute to take another sip, anxiously trying to find something to do to make her look casual as she waited for him to make his move.

Suddenly, he spun on his heel, marching toward her with purpose that slowly tapered off the closer he got. Mari watched him intently with her siren’s stare, beckoning him closer to her with every blink. She arched her brow at him in mock annoyance and pursed her lips, challenging him to do his absolute best to earn her attention again. 

Just as Rex went to sit in the seat beside her, a few of her colleagues brushed him aside to take their seats, barely acknowledging his presence. Mari glared at them for their rude intrusion, not wanting them to treat any clone like a second-class citizen, even if she was mad at him. Crowds of people flooded into the room and Rex had no other choice but to take his place against the wall behind her.

She spun around in her seat, drink in hand, and glowered at him expectantly. He glanced over at her and nodded politely, the rush of people probably scaring him into silence. Hoping he would overcome his fear, Mari worked her jaw in anger and turned back around, as if to ignore him. Almost sensing his panic prickling up her backside, she heard a gentle hiss from behind her.

“Psst… hey… surprised to see you here, brown eyes,” he whispered, his voice fading behind a crowd of people passing between them to get to their table. Mari leaned back in her chair subtly, brushing her long hair behind her back in order to hear him better.

“Can I help you, trooper?” she shot back, peeking at him over her shoulder and giving him as much attitude as she could muster to signal how much he had upset her.

He sighed deeply, “Mari, c’mon, don’t give me that. I-I’m sorry. I can explain.” He sounded apologetic, but even risking one look at his big, pleading eyes would weaken her resolve way too much. She had to make this at least a little difficult for him. He had to know he couldn’t have her that easily.

“I’m surprised you remember I have a name. I thought since you didn’t call me you might’ve forgotten it,” she jabbed, downing the rest of her drink in one sip and turning around to scowl at him. She tried her best to look angry, especially since she didn’t want to cry in a dress this nice and makeup this perfect.

When she finally made eye contact with him again, she could tell that he saw right through her pout. He saw the pain behind her eyes that no one else usually noticed, sometimes not even Fox. 

His brows knitted together and his lips tightened in anguish, immediately feeling immense guilt for ever hurting her. He stood there studying her, opening his mouth to say something, but failing to find the words to explain himself.

Another small group of people passed between her and Rex, the awkward tension between the two of them building with every second he didn’t respond to her. Mari rolled her eyes and scoffed, “Whatever. Excuse me, CB-18, another drink, please?” She choked down the fluttering in her chest as she called to the copper protocol droid serving drinks at a nearby table, smiling at them graciously as they made their way over.

“Yes, Miss? What would you like?” CB-18 asked pleasantly, offering her a platter filled with frothy, bubbling drinks of every flavor and color imaginable. 

“Champagne is fine. Thank you,” Mari smiled, waiting patiently for the droid to fill up another flute. From behind her, she could just make out the unmistakable sound of armor clattering as he approached, the crowd of people milling about giving him enough cover to go unnoticed.

The droid raised its metal hand to pick the now completely full flute off the tray and leaned down to hand it to Mari. “Here you are, Mistress. Enj–”

Before Mari could accept the drink, someone bumped the protocol droid's arm, sending its entire fluid contents spiraling out of their hand and directly into Mari’s lap. Everything from her chest down was soaked, the liquid bleeding across the threads of blue satin perfectly fitted to her midriff.

“Oh dear, Mistress, I am terribly sorry,” the droid trailed off with their programmed pleasantries. 

Mari completely ignored them to whip around in anger at the person who knocked into them. Of course, it was none other than the captain himself, standing as rigid and stiff as before with his eyes wide in horror at what he’d done.

“I-I can explain! I didn’t mean to… fuck, I’m so sorry,” he stumbled, reaching for a thick, cloth napkin on the table, but Mari moved away from him.

Mari was ready to explode. After everything she’d experienced the weekend before, all she’d done to prepare herself to hopefully see him today, this was what she got? No explanation, no compliments on how she looked, nothing but a half-baked, nervous conversation and champagne dumped down her dress. 

All she wanted to do was run. “Excuse me,” she huffed, tossing her napkin on her table and storming off. As soon as she left the banquet room and entered the much quieter hallway, she groaned loudly in frustration. Hot tears began running down her face before she could even process what she was feeling. 

She marched down the hallway, away from the noise and toward more offices she wasn’t very familiar with. Most of the rooms up here were occupied by those from the other side of the political aisle–those who benefited from and profited off the war, which meant there was no chance any of them would be attending this gala. She could, at the very least, get away to feel sorry for herself in peace.

Further down, she could just make out two helmeted clones patrolling the hall. She didn’t recognize them, but one of them called out to her the second she was within earshot. 

“Hey, I know you! Little minx from the bar… how are you?” 

Something about that velvety tone was so familiar, but she couldn’t exactly place him based on voice alone. He had the patterning of a Rishi eel carefully painted on his helmet and was flanked by a second clone who donned a perfectly crisp arc in blue on his.

“Fives, you di’kut, she’s clearly not in the mood.”

Oh right. Fives. The smooth-talking, handsome, cheeky clone she met sitting at the bartop that weekend. Of course, he was here, too. She rolled her eyes, trying to avert her gaze to walk by without them seeing her tears.

Before she could brush past them, the second clone stepped in front of her, cocking his head as he assessed her body language. “Uhm, sorry for prying, Miss, but are you alright?” he asked gently, removing his bucket with one hand. His eyes, crinkling with lines he was too young to have, teemed with worry as he inspected her. 

She remembered this clone, too. Pacifying his brother and quietly taking control to diffuse the tension of the situation. Echo. His name was Echo. She blinked her tears away as much as she could and smiled meekly up at him. “I’m fine, Echo… it’s just my dress–it’s ruined.”

“You… you remember my name?” he asked quietly with a shy grin, mostly to himself and very clearly not used to anyone outside the battlefront addressing him by name. “What happened?”

“Yeah, tell us who did this to you. They’ve got a very serious ass-kicking coming their way,” Fives snickered, removing his helmet and cracking his knuckles to prepare for the hypothetical fight he was having in his mind.

“That’s gonna be kinda difficult for you,” Mari started with a scoff, looking up at both men doubtfully. Echo shrugged, searching the hallway for the nearest refresher and nodding as he located the closest private one only a few steps away.

“Let’s get you dried off at least,” Echo offered, carefully ushering her forward with a nod, but without touching or pressing her in any way. Fives darted into the refresher and started pulling handfuls of towelettes from the dispenser.

They were both incredibly respectful of her space, to Mari’s surprise. She wasn’t used to being treated so graciously when she was so vulnerable. It allowed her to relax and follow Echo to the fresher door, becoming less bristled by the second.

“Thank you, both. I just–can’t believe he did that,” Mari muttered, her voice quiet as she took a bundle of towels to dab herself off. “I thought you guys were better behaved than that,” she joked sarcastically.

“Wait, what?” Echo’s friendly eyes darkened quickly, turning to Fives for support and finding an equally outraged look on his identical face.

“Which one of our idiot brothers do we have to fight?” Fives practically growled, leaning forward to brush one of Mari’s dark, loose curls away from the wet fabric.

First Fox, now Fives and Echo. I wonder how many ass-kickings Rex will have lined up for him by the end of the night. Mari thought amusedly, remembering how Fox had once told her many disputes between brothers were typically solved with a supervised sparring match, regardless of rank. They had been raised to fight after all.

Mari gulped. “I don’t think you want to know,” she smiled nervously, her eyes catching a figure barreling down the hall from where she just came. Fives caught on before she could say anything else and stepped further out into the hall to stop his CO from coming any closer. 

“What the hell did you do?” Fives challenged bravely, shoving Rex slightly as he pressed him back away from her. 

Rex looked panicked. His shoulders sagged in an unusual admittance of defeat, his expression woefully apologetic, and his brow wrought with worry. It was probably an accident and Mari certainly had succeeded in making him feel bad enough about everything he’d done if he was chasing her down the hallway.

“Easy, Fives. It’s alright. I’m alright,” she said, not wanting them to start a scuffle in the hallway. “Dress is probably ruined though. Not the way I was expecting it to be,” she added under her breath, making Echo smirk knowingly beside her as he caught on.

“Mari, I am so, so sorry. It was an accident. Can I just… I mean, you don’t owe it to me. I’m an idiot… but can you please just let me explain?” Rex rambled from over Fives' shoulder, ripping the towelettes from Fives’ hands and offering them to her.

Mari looked between the three identical men and sighed, “Alright, fine, blondie, but you have a lot to answer for. Can you both give us a minute?” She motioned between herself and the captain and crossed her arms as Rex approached her side. She turned and waved for him to follow, squaring her shoulders and trying to regain the confidence she’d had before. “We’re going to one of these spare offices, ok?” 

He nodded curtly, starting to walk beside her, “You two, stay here at your position. Cover for me. Comm me if there’s an emergency. Got it?”

“Yes, sir,” they replied in unison, straightening up and taking their positions against the hallway walls just outside the office doors. Mari could hear Fives complaining the second he thought they were out of earshot, probably grumbling about how unfair it was that he had to be stuck out here.

She and Rex walked awkwardly inside the unoccupied room, and the few feet they stood apart felt like miles. The office was once utilized by senators from a planet that had since left the Republic to join the Separatists and was left empty until a better use for it could be found. Well, empty except for pieces of spare furniture other senators evidently had no better place for.

Mari propped herself up on the side of one such desk, probably recently placed since it hadn’t accumulated any of the dust coating the rest of the furniture. Rex did the same across from her, just barely leaning on the surface, his body language was screaming his desire to be closer to her again. From their distance apart, Mari finally met his gaze with her big doe-eyes, still glossy with some leftover tears.

“I can only imagine how upset you are with me, and, for the record, I’m not crazy about myself right now either, but I am so fucking sorry. It was an accident, I swear. I was just stepping closer to explain myself and  I must’ve bumped the damn shiny droid. I would never do that to you,” he started, rambling in his attempt to explain himself.

She raised her hand and shushed him. “Rex, that’s not why I’m upset. Though it doesn’t help that you ruined my carefully crafted look.” Mari folded her arms and sighed, “I’m upset because you ignored me for a week. Makes me feel kinda cheap, you know?”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you.” Rex closed his eyes and unclipped his repaired shoulder pauldron to reveal a sizable blaster burn in the white plastoid of his chestplate. “I got shot in the chest on our last mission. Almost didn’t make it. Spent the last five rotations in medbay with my CMO, Kix. I was pretty out of it for the first few hours. According to him, I wouldn’t shut up about needing to comm you actually.”

Mari’s jaw dropped in surprise, her heavy brows knitting together in shock. All of a sudden, she felt a sizable pang of fear and sheepish regret flood her chest. He hadn’t been avoiding her. He wasn’t trying to hurt her at all. In fact, he was the one who was hurt. He could’ve died while Mari was sulking around her apartment feeling rejected like a baby. 

“Oh, stars above, Rex.” She clutched her hands to her chest and felt guilty about how she acted. “I feel like such an ass.”

He shook his head and laughed, a wry smile drawing across his face. “No, no. It’s fine. I deserve it. I should’ve commed you as soon as I could. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t care. That’s the farthest thing from true after what I’ve been through this last mission…” he trailed off like he was recalling a past conversation or memory. 

Mari felt herself being drawn into him exactly like she was the night they met, even more so now that she knew he was almost fatally wounded in the field. She gripped the edges of the desk, resisting the urge to run across the room and throw herself on him. She wouldn’t have been able to live with herself if something had happened to him. “Are you… alright now? Nothing a little bacta couldn’t fix right?”

He shrugged, quickly scanning down her body to admire the dress on her before speaking again, “Yeah, but it was awfully close. Thought about you the whole time, you know–how much I would have regretted it if I never got to see your face again. I just can’t believe you’re here. I didn’t know you worked for Senator Amidala, and I really am sorry about your dress, you look incredible.”

Mari shoved herself off the desk and moved a few paces nearer to him to close the gap between them. She had heard enough apologies to know he meant it, and she didn’t have enough willpower to keep herself away from him any longer.  “Oh yes, she’s my boss. I’m on a special interest committee, human rights, activism, etcetera. I planned this whole thing.”

He clutched the edge of the desk he was leaning on and his eyes flicked down to watch the sway of her hips as she sauntered over to him. “You’ve done a pretty good job. My boys working security should keep things running smoothly. Hope they impress you.” 

A few steps closer and she was finally within arm's length of him, and his mouth quickly went dry. She tossed her hair back behind her shoulders and stepped in front of him. Even with all 5 feet 2 inches of her staring up at him, he was still taller than her from his seated position. 

Mari reached out to rest her hand on his bicep and traced it slowly up his arm, “They’re not the ones I want to be impressed by, Captain. I think you owe it to me twice over now.”

Rex’s gaze narrowed in determination, the nervousness melting away from his body as the adrenaline kicked in. He took a few moments to let the building tension thicken in the space between them and studied the features on her face intently–committing her to memory all over again. The corners of his mouth quirked into the little sideways smile that was all his own despite his familiar clone face. “There she is. That’s the little spitfire I remember.”

Her desire for him ignited under his stare. He was focused solely on her, keeping his hands to himself as he let her take the lead. She wanted to tear the armor off of him, to reward him for being so sweet and thoughtful when he was literally mere moments away from certain death. Was there anything more romantic than his admittance that she was who he thought about while he was trying to heal? 

Mari smiled happily and eased forward to settle herself between his parted thighs. She rested both hands on his shoulders and muttered, “I’m so sorry I was being so cold before. I misunderstood everything and I was just trying to protect myself. Not every man is as noble as you.”

Rex swallowed hard, caging her in with one arm around her waist. Carefully, he moved to rest his other palm on her cheek, “It’s alright. You’re kinda cute all pouty. You can be a little bit of a brat, huh?”

Mari bit her bottom lip and grinned, “You have no idea, Captain.” She slowly guided his thumb to her lips and suckled it into her mouth, giving him a teasing look at what she might be willing to do for him very soon. 

He moaned softly, his brows raised in surprise at her boldness. The way her dark eyes peered up at him under her long lashes sent a shot of arousal straight to his cock, but he shook the stunning lewd gesture off to make his own bold move to give her a taste of the tricks up his sleeve.

“I–uh… I mean it when I say I thought about you every day,” he admitted, slipping his thumb from her mouth and tipping her chin up toward him with his knuckle. His touch was slow and delicate, precariously balancing the tension between them like he was walking a tightrope. He leaned in closer, his darkening gaze jumping between the desperation in her big brown eyes and the plush of her parted lips emanating shallow bated breaths. “Every time I closed my eyes, I saw yours.” 

Mari could feel any semblance of composure she had left dissolving under his touch. She hiked her dress up and climbed onto his lap, just like she had at 79’s, and sank down just enough to rest her center on his. She moved her hand up to pull his face closer, but he caught her fingers with his own and entwined them together.

He let out a weighted exhale, clearly affected by the brush of her core, but maintained intoxicating eye contact. 

“I dreamed about having you in my lap again, feeling you all over me.” He glanced down at where her dress had now bunched up and let his tongue wet his lips hungrily, tipping his chin up to brush his nose with hers. He rested his index finger just below her jawline and held her delicately in limbo. “Even if I never saw you again, I didn’t want to forget this….” 

Their souls were set alight as their lips connected. Sparks flew and supernovas formed as raw need exploded between them. 

Mari let his tongue slip inside to dance with hers and she exhaled a mixture of relief and delight. Each time one of them broke for air, the other chased to close the gap between them. Faster and faster they worked until their lips were swollen and their chests heaving. 

“The blue was a nice touch. Looks good on you,” he smirked, running his hands up and down her waist and appreciating both the fabric and her curves.

“I thought it would.” Mari let her gaze darken and ran her hands down the front of his chestplate, leaning toward his ear and muttering seductively, “I think it would look much better off me, though.” 

“Yeah…” he breathed, fumbling for his words as he swallowed nervously. “Y-yeah it would. You really know how to work me, don’t you?” He looked up at her with both desperate need and total reverence.

“Mhm.” She hummed, kissing down his neck and feeling his hands slide lower to fiddle with the exposed hem of her dress. “Get me out of this, Captain. Please.” 

His hands worked fast, peeling the champagne-soaked satin up and helping her guide it over her head. Now she sat naked from the waist up in all her feminine glory, and she mentally thanked herself for her earlier decision to not wear a bra. 

“Fuck,” he gasped, sitting back on the desk and letting his eyes rake over every inch of her. “Not even in my dreams could I have imagined you. Y–you’re so…” He shook his head, struggling to find a word to describe her.

“Hot? Sexy? I’ve heard it all, Rex.” Mari rolled her eyes playfully, looping her arms over his shoulders to pull him close to her again.

“No. Beautiful. I was going to say beautiful, but it still doesn’t feel like a good enough word. Meadows and flowers and waterfalls are beautiful… you are just beyond… anything I’ve ever seen.” He reached for her face again, brushing a loose strand of dark hair behind her ear and pulling her into another deep kiss. “Mesh’la.”

Mari blushed a deeper red than the halls of the Senate Building. She was used to being desired and lusted after, but this was something else. Rex revered her, not as an object of pleasure, but as a lifeform with a heart, a soul, and feelings. 

“Thank you, Rex,” she whispered as she pulled away, holding his ardent gaze with her own. “But don’t think this means I’m not still mad at you,” she scolded playfully, beginning to work at the clasps of his chestplate to remove it from him.

Somewhere deep in Rex’s gut, he could feel the natural craving for companionship growing stronger. With her in his arms, feeling her desire for him, he couldn’t deny himself of it anymore. If he were to ever allow himself to dream of a life beyond duty, she was exactly who he’d want. Imagining a future was a luxury most clones couldn’t afford. It had taken an extreme amount of courage and willpower for him to admit that to himself and for him to even be here before her right now.

His brows raised, surprised that she knew how to take clone armor off. He helped her unclip each piece, shucking it off and letting it clatter to the floor of the storage room. “Oh, you should be mad. Furious even. Flash me that cute little angry pout you do. S’long as you feel something for me, I’m happy,” he chuckled softly. 

The rumble of a deep laugh in his chest made Mari’s core ache with want as the vibrations reverberated through him.

“You’re going to have to work pretty hard to get me to forgive you, blondie.” She walked her fingers slowly down the black fabric straining across his chest and swirled her fingers along the bronzed skin just underneath the seam. Her touch brushed up the trail of little hairs on his abs as she eased his top up agonizingly slowly. She bit her lower lip and moaned softly, “Think you’re up for it?”

“Hmmm… Mari.” He let a gravelly purr leave his chest just as both her palms splayed over his pec muscles on either side. 

She felt the freshly bacta-healed scar on his chest and swallowed down the lump in her throat forming at the thought of her never getting the chance to see him again. A blaster bolt to the chest could’ve killed him and he healed thinking only about the girl he would’ve missed out on. Mari traced it lightly and let her gaze dart up to flick between his eyes and the scar. She wanted to ask him all about what happened, but she’d take her time with him if it still hurt. 

Instead, as if he could feel the apprehensive question in her mind, he pushed her hands down gently and groaned softly, “Let me show you how ready I am.” He slipped his duraweave top over his head and wrapped his arms around her to pull her close. Her breasts pushed into his chest salaciously and he took a noticeable glance down at them before burying his face in her neck.

“Rex…” Mari gasped softly, letting her hands roam over the rippling muscles of his shoulders and admiring the width of him underneath her much smaller hands. She could feel his warm tongue swirling circles at the hollow of her neck, the gentle suckling of his lips dotting her decolletage with deep purple marks. He left a trail of simmering embers on each spot in his fiery wake, setting the passion between them ablaze the further down her torso he went.

“That’s it. Call my name, pretty girl,” he muttered, nuzzling his face into her breasts and tugging at a nipple softly with one hand. “‘S never sounded better.” 

She could feel his smirk against her skin as he cupped and massaged the round plush of her breast in his massive hand. She clung to him, letting him appreciate her naked body while she struggled to remember how to talk or breathe. She nearly forgot everything but the electrifying feeling of him touching her like this where she’d ached to have him for so long. Before she knew it, his hands were at her hips, rocking her slowly but firmly against him like she had in the booth when they first met. 

They both tempted each other, building on the painful friction while hoping the other would snap first. But Mari knew how to crack him. She’d done it dozens of times before. No man could resist her on her knees, not even someone as strong-willed as Rex.

To her own discontent, she slowed her writhing against his wide thigh plate and caught her breath while he shifted uncomfortably beneath her. She could see the fabric of his blacks straining against his codpiece and her mouth watered thinking about what his pretty cock might look like under there. “Awh, poor baby. Was that all ‘cause of me?” she teased, clicking the plastoid off.

He huffed softly, feeling momentary relief at the added room. “Been because of you for a week. Got off so many times thinking about you. Couldn’t get you out of my head.”

“Which one?” Mari giggled suggestively, more than enjoying the effect she had on him. 

Rex groaned in delighted frustration as she palmed him gently, giving her a pointed look and grinning sheepishly. 

“How about for real this time?” she asked, grabbing his jaw and leaning in to place a lazy open-mouthed kiss on him. “I want to see what I’ve done to you, Captain.” Tracing her thumb over his bottom lip, she pushed herself off of him and slowly sunk down to kneel between his parted thighs.

She dragged her hands down his lower torso and stopped to unclip both thigh plates. He hissed softly as the heat of her body spread over his now-exposed thighs, her breasts precariously pressed into the outline of his cock underneath his bottoms. He shifted his hands to grab at her shoulders, eagerly keeping her in place while she pawed at him. He swallowed thickly, the tension in his body starting to lessen as she worked him over with just her body weight resting on him.

“I’ve n-never… wanted anything… more,” he grunted between increasing pants of anticipation. His thumb brushed over the apple of her cheek as he tipped her face up to maintain his heart-stoppingly needy gaze. “Just… keep looking at me. Want to always see that pretty face.”

Mari smiled far too demurely for someone seconds away from doing something so provocative and turned to place a reassuring kiss into his palm. “Whatever you say, sir.” She smirked as that elicited a whimper from him, and she slowly let her hands trace down his abs, toying with the waistband of his bottoms to prolong the teasing. His erection twitched with anticipation as she finally looped her fingers into the fabric and tugged it down gently.

Her eyes nearly glazed over with delight at the sheer size of him waiting for her. His cock was long, thick, and as bronze as the rest of him, slapping up against his lower torso as it sprung free. She could feel her mouth watering and the space between her thighs slipping together lewdly as her mind raced faster than her body moved. He was perfect, not a single fucking flaw, and gods she wanted every last inch of him inside any part of her.

She sucked her lower lip behind her teeth and stared up at him in affectionate awe, letting her hands smooth along the inside of his thighs. “Hmmm… wow, look at you. Such a perfect cock.” His eyes hooded and his chest stuttered as he panted with unbearable longing. Mari wrapped a hand around the base to hold him and let her other hand curl just below the swollen head. She parted her lips, letting saliva pool on her tongue and dripping it down onto her waiting fist.

“For such a perfect girl,” he grinned, his jaw dropping as Mari tipped forward and licked the tip with the end of her tongue. Rex drew in a gasp, his hands flying to the side of her neck and brushing her curls behind her back. “Fuck, you’re good with that bold little mouth, aren’t you?”

“Stop talking and you’ll find out,” Mari smirked, sliding her spit-slick fist down the length of his shaft and kissing his tip gingerly. He chuckled but was cut off from saying anything more by Mari inching down to trace a long stripe up his cock from base to tip. Rex seemed to short-circuit, his grip in her hair starting to tighten more desperately. She knew she had him exactly where she needed him now.

With both her hands curled around him as she gently stroked him, she wrapped her lips around him and swallowed him down deeper with each inhale. He was a lot to take, but nothing she couldn’t handle. Each brilliant vein pulsed against her lips as she bobbed up and down along him. She hummed happily, the velvet of her tongue swirling around him and her cheeks hollowing tighter with every suckled pass. 

He gently held her, not pressuring her to move faster, but keeping her steady as her rhythm built him up toward his climax. He could do nothing but try to breathe, run his fingers through her silky hair, and keep his eyes open to stare at her with powerful lust. Mari couldn't tear herself away from looking at him either. Though he was more turned on than he’d maybe ever been, there was a look of genuine adoration in his eyes that made Mari’s belly clench with want and intrigue.

Rex threw his head back as Mari swallowed around him, sliding his tip down to bump the back of her throat. She glanced up at him through her thick lashes as she fought back tears and could feel the knot in her belly tightening at the sight of him. His strong, rounded jaw clenched as he groaned in delight, broad, squared-off shoulders and hard, tensing biceps held her to him and the thickness of his rippling torso glistened with a thin sheen of sweat forming along his tan skin. He looked delicious all worked up and writhing for her.

Mari’s center pulsed with desire, her core pounding with an overwhelming need for him. Even if he was close to cumming, Mari didn’t think she could do much more for him without wanting to explode herself. Molten need toiled around in her belly and she was sure she’d drenched through her lace panties as she worked him. His hands moved to delicately brush the hair from her forehead before sliding them down her shoulders to rub away the tension.

After a few beats longer of watching her suck him off, he tugged her hair gently. “Easy, pretty girl. I want to finish, but not like this.” He sat himself back on the strength of one arm and tried to come back to himself. He looked utterly wrecked in the most satisfying way, and if Mari never touched another man ever again, she’d be happy just remembering the way he looked right now. “Not without you,” he finished, his eyes squinting as a beautiful, satisfied smile spread across his handsome face.

Mari wiped her mouth with her thumb, the sweet tang of his precum on her tongue and wearing her own happy, blissed-out grin. Before she could even rise to her feet, he scooped her up eagerly. She yelped in surprise, her widened thighs positioning her so that her soaked panties rested perfectly against his aching cock. His lips smashed into hers, tasting himself in her kisses and sliding her back into his lap. Her eyes rolled back in her head as the heat of him pressed up against where she needed him. Looping her arms around his neck, she broke the kiss to moan desperately.

Immediately, Rex caught on to her reaction and rolled his hips up into her again. “Yeah, that’s what you want. Taking my cock in your mouth made you all wet, huh?” he teased, smirking as she pressed herself down onto his lap. His hands held onto her waist, caressing the soft curves of her skin and letting her briefly satisfy the ache she’d been feeling.

“Mhm. I’m soaked. You got me so worked up, Captain. You’re fucking hot. You’re so hot and I don’t think you even realize how–” Mari stammered, interrupted by Rex’s curled fingers stroking the soaked lace of her panties over her heat. Mari closed her eyes and mewled pathetically at the contact. “How much I…”

Rex’s other hand cupped her face, resting his forehead against hers and kissing her with all the passion he could muster. His knuckles brushed along her slit, stopping to let the pad of his thumb toy with her clit cruelly. He bit down on her lower lip as he pulled away, his confidence growing now that he knew the effect he had on her as well. 

“How much I what, pretty girl? Tell me what you need and it’s yours,” he instructed slowly but firmly.

With their foreheads pressed together and Mari’s hands clinging to the corded muscles of his neck, she let her seductive glare bear deep into his eyes and she exhaled. “How much I want you. How much I need you to…” She trailed off again as Rex’s deft fingers pushed her panties to the side and slipped two fingers between her slick folds.

A deep, weighted purr left Rex’s chest as he massaged her wet pussy so delicately it was making her completely forget herself. Words were a blur, her mind completely hazed by the musky, woodsy scent of him all around her, her body overcome with rushes of heated desire coursing through her veins like liquid fire. The building tension in her belly was coiling immeasurably hot and the only relief was his touch on her clit stoking the flames of pleasure. Mari whimpered into another of Rex’s heavy kisses, her hands now clinging to his biceps as he circled her clit with the perfect amount of pressure.

“Need what, Mari? This what you need? My fingers in this perfect pussy? Such a wet little thing… you can’t help it,” he tutted playfully, resting his cheek against hers as he looked down at her bucking her hips into his hands. “Did you think about me too? The way I thought about you? All hot and bothered, slick between your legs because you wanted me? Mesh’la, look at me,” Rex instructed affectionately, working her into a frenzy and smiling at all he could do with just his hands and his words.

“Rex,” Mari moaned his name, gripping his biceps and grinding into his throbbing cock with her drenched folds. She held his stare with her own half-hooded one and dragged him into a heated desperate kiss with clashing teeth and bitten lips and pulled away gasping two muttered little words. “Fuck me.”

In half a heartbeat, he tore through the lace of her pink panties and tossed them onto the floor with the rest of his kit. Weighted palms grabbed at the round flesh of her ass as he flipped them both over. Her bare back pressed against the cold surface of the spare desk, and she clawed down his shoulders deep enough to leave marks as she begged him for entrance. He kissed her three times more, parting her thighs and sliding her entire bottom half toward where he stood waiting and hard as a rock.

“Thought you’d never ask,” he laughed softly, caressing circles on her hip bones as he thrust himself through her heat to coat his length in her slick. He notched himself at her entrance and pressed inside with a groan, the stretch around him frictionless from all the teasing he’d given her. 

Mari practically squeaked in delight, the perfect, heavy tip of him notching inside her beautifully and making her bloom open more to receive his greater girth. “Fuck… move. Please. Deeper,” she begged, digging her nails into his shoulders and wrapping her thighs around his waist to pull him closer. 

He slipped in deeper, the heat of his cock radiating inside of her in the best way and coaxing her tight walls to open up just a bit more for him. He tested out a roll of his hips and pounded the tops of his thighs against the edge of the desk. The snap of his hips carried a brutal amount of power and Mari scrambled to pull him deeper inside her again. He groaned loudly, finally feeling the full collapse of her around him and shivering in absolute ecstasy. “So fucking tight. Feels so good. Like they made you for me.” 

“I could say the same, Captain. Fuck. More, baby, please,” she pleaded, craving so much more of the stretch he was providing. Every breath she took dragged him in deeper and she wanted to drown in the wave of pleasure that was quenching the burning heat inside her. He was all over her. 

His strong hands seemed to find every place she needed him–kneading her breasts in his hands as he thrust, lifting her hips up and supporting the small of her back to change the angle he was spearing into her, and turning her face back toward him so he could see her every orgasmic, pleasure-filled expression.

Rex kept at an efficient pace, not too fast and not too hard, just enjoying the languid heat inside and exploring her body. He needed to know what made Mari feel good, what places he could lick or grab to make her scream, and which positions had her yelling his name so loud she was sure someone would’ve heard them. 

Mari lost herself in how naturally and easily he took control. She didn’t have to think about satisfying anyone and didn't have to worry about catering to what he wanted. All he needed her to do was feel and he was taking care of the rest. It was a different kind of sex than anything she had before because it wasn’t just one person satisfying the other, but rather two partners working together to share in the desire they’d built together.

Mari reached for him, dragging him down on top of her so she could cling to him the way she wanted. Every part of her touched some part of him and she completed that by sealing him into breathless, sloppy kisses whenever she could. He had seemingly unstoppable stamina, able to go at a pace that satisfied her for much, much longer than any other man she’d ever had. Every so often, he’d pull back to check in with her, waiting for her approval before diving back down to bite a new mark into her tan skin. 

Suddenly, he thrust into a spot so deep and sensitive it made Mari’s vision white out. The strangled sound of pain mixing with moans of pleasure gave Rex pause, but she quickly called his name and moaned at a much breathier, higher pitch than before. “Oh… right there! That spot… again. Please, Rex!” she whined, holding his jaw with her palm and watching him smirk knowingly at the perfect place inside her he was able to find.

“Here?” he rolled his hips again, grinding deeper and making Mari cry out in delight. She parted her thighs more to give him better access and he nearly folded himself over her to piston into that same sensitive place as many times as he could. “That’s it. Such a good girl. Want to feel you cum for me. Gods, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

Mari leaned forward to grab at him again, but instead, he took her hand in his and pinned it beside her. His other hand gripped her hip and held her steady while he plowed into her even harder. Mari lost track of the amount of times she sang his name in response. She’d only ever had toys make her feel this good.

He rested his head in the crook of her neck momentarily, and let his stirring hips drive himself into her spot over and over again. Rex’s praises turned into hisses and grunts behind gritted teeth as he tried with all his might to hold his own orgasm back until she was ready to let go with him. 

Squelching sounds filled the room as heat began to flood Mari’s opening. The pressure in her belly was being repeatedly combated by the steady weight of his cock splitting her walls to fit him and she could feel herself rocketing to heights previously unknown. His gorgeous face reappeared hovering above her with a determined scowl, his brows pressed together and his jaw slack as the wave just began to crest inside him.

His fingers found her clit again, delicately twisting looping circles on the little bundle and making tears form in her eyes at the new sensation added to his incessant thrusts into her favorite spot. Mari began to feel herself slipping away, relaxing into tingles of bliss overtaking all of her limbs and giving her the same butterflies she had the very first time she’d kissed him. She could just vaguely make out the sound of him calling her name and asking her something when she remembered he’d asked her to keep her eyes open. He wanted to see her face and she couldn’t deny him what he wanted. Not now, not ever.

Mari reached for him again and he leaned right down into her, foreheads sliding together and his gaze fixated on hers. His eyelids fluttered just as his movements became erratic, pushing himself to stay focused and with her long enough to send her over the edge. 

Mari studied his handsome face as time began to slow and she whispered as quietly as she could, “Cum with me, Rex. Show me what I’ve been waiting for.” 

His cock bumped her spot and he laid into it, pressing himself in and resting there as his muscles locked down and his cock twitched inside her.

“Oh fuck… Mari… I’m going to–Mesh’la, cum with me. Mari–” he moaned her name in his deep, gravelly baritone in her ear and she felt herself snap. 

Light faded away until all Mari knew was the sound of Rex’s voice filling her ears, the feel of his warm release flooding inside her, the taste of his tongue lingering on hers, the scent of him imprinting in her memory, and the visual of the most gorgeous man she’d ever met melting into bliss all around her. 

She sang his name in a salaciously melodic moan. She felt his warmth in her belly and her own release mixing with his as it spilled out of her opening. She glanced up at him in her honeyed haze of pleasure and smiled as she felt herself going totally cockdumb. The pleasure coursing through her veins consuming her was because of him–the beautiful, doting, caring captain she was so sure she’d never hear from again.

He dropped his head into the crook of her neck, their centers still connected as they both let the swell of their highs overtake them. She held the back of his neck gently, tracing featherlight touches like star trails against his nicked and scarred skin. He panted breathless praises and endless compliments in her ears, carefully pulling her up to wrap himself around her exposed body protectively. “Felt… s-so good. I know, Mesh’la. Looked so stunning, too, cumming all for me.”

“Rex,” she muttered much quieter now, her voice hoarse with overuse. “I’ve never felt like that before. Never,” she admitted, averting her eyes to the locked door mere feet from their bare bodies.

He smirked smugly, kissing the tip of her nose and gently slipping out of her. “Thought you said you were experienced,” he teased, as his large hand massaged up the back of her neck, twisting the dark strands at the nape around his fingers. 

Mari basked in the blissful afterglow and relaxed into the calming feeling of his hands working away the last of the remaining tension in her body. She relaxed her legs around his waist and  tucked herself into him. “I am. I never said they were any good. And even if they were, it was nothing like that. That was…”

“I know,” he stopped her, the admission in his eyes giving away his feelings far more than his words did. Whatever the spark was between them, they both felt it. They both understood that this meant something special, and it was worth it to figure out what that feeling was, even if it scared them. 

“I’ve never been with someone who made me feel like you do. Like I’m someone worth feeling something for,” he admitted slowly, discussing his real feelings and exposing a far more apprehensive side to him than the man who had just plowed her the way he had. “How is someone as amazing as you…” He paused, gazing deep into her eyes with nothing but sheer adoration and wonder in his own. “All alone?” he finished, running a very unsure thumb across her cheek.

Mari sighed, looking up at the ceiling of this unused office. She bit her lip to keep her voice steady and to hold back the flow of tears that were dangerously close to spilling over. “Because people… men use me. They always do. And after a while, it’s easier to go it alone than to let them hurt you and take from you anymore.” 

A single tear rolled down her cheek–a painful expression of all the times she’d let herself think someone might care about her, only to throw her away like trash when they were through using her how they liked.

He placed a firm and reassuring palm on her cheek, turning her face to meet his. He wanted to reassure her, to say exactly the right thing to comfort her, and communicate that he was different from the men in her past. He wasn’t like them, but as much as he wanted to shoulder her burden, this type of pain cut him too deep and he looked down almost in disappointment.

“I know what it’s like to feel used,” he whispered, guilt and searing shame at the admission clouding his vision. He was hiding his emotional wounds just as much as she was, if not more. 

Suddenly, Mari felt incredibly stupid and selfish for trying to compare being a little lonely to a man whose very existence was to serve a purpose he had never had a say in. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to act like I had it worse or anything. I just–” she started to say, but his needy hands grabbing at her shoulders and pulling her into a desperate hug quieted her.

“Don’t apologize. It’s something we have in common, you and I,” he muttered, burying his head in her hair and snuggling her tighter. “It’s nice to feel understood by someone outside the GAR. I know I said it before, and I’ve been so nervous I almost ruined it, but I promise I won’t forget about you. I am totally out of my element here, I’ve never done this before and we’re not technically allowed to, but I’d like to keep seeing you… if you want.”

He pulled back to look down at her with the same hopeful amazement on his pretty face that he had the first day they met. Mari reached up to cradle his face in her hands, “I’d like that, Rex. What do you say we get out of this office and you keep seeing me at my place? You’re off for the night, right?” 

Rex nodded. “Yeah, I’m free. I sent you a message earlier to ask you to come out to 79’s with the boys and I. I was hoping I’d see you again there. Guess I don’t have to worry about waiting around for you to show now, huh?”

“I haven’t checked my comm all day, so I guess fate decided we waited long enough,” Mari chuckled, sitting up and pulling Rex up with her. She motioned toward the door and slid down to her feet, searching the office floor for her dress.

Rex hummed in agreement and followed her lead, sliding his underwear and body glove back on and admiring her naked frame as she gathered her dress into her arms. He had nearly his entire armor kit back on before Mari was able to even rearrange her dress enough to step back into it.

“I’ve got nothing to put on under this since you destroyed these,” she flirted, lifting both sides of her torn panties off the floor and tossing them at Rex playfully. 

He caught them in his right hand deftly and laughed darkly. “Good. Now I can recall this image of you naked every time I need it.” He bunched her panties up and tucked them into his pocket, winking at her.

“You filthy boy. Fine, keep them. I’ve got much sexier ones I can show you at home,” Mari tucked the plush of her bottom lip behind her teeth and slipped the dress back on. 

Rex grabbed her hand and spun her around into him, his hand splaying out on her lower back. “Then let’s get you home, Mesh’la. No one’s taking me away from you this time.” He pulled her into a gentle, meaningful kiss to seal his promise with tangible action, and let her lead him the entire way back to her place for the night.

--

notes: AAHHHH ITS THEM!!!! finally we find out how it happens. and god I love them both so much. so much. thank you so much for all your kind messages and support while i've been going through it lately. and of course for all the love I receive for mari and rex. pss my face claim has taken her rightful place in the header photo, so going forward thats our girl.

join the taglist!

@sleepingsun501 @samspenandsword @marierg @ulchabhangorm @liadamerondjarin @wild-karrde @ariadnes-red-thread @enigmaticexplorer @starstofillmydream @fordo-kixed-rex @ladysparklefarts @daimyosprincess

[miss-conjayniality]

adhd meltdown over nu’est……….need to vent

NU’EST - a name that brings about a myriad of intense, tumultuous, goosebump-inducing emotions.

look….ima queue this shit cuz the thought of posting it in real time makes me cringe 💀

sigh. i hate getting this vulnerable. it’s uncomfortable. but i have to get this off my chest. it’s been two years since their disbandment. geez. time flies. and let me just tell you, this time of the year is always so sentimental to me. it hurts. it’s also when my adhd dives into extreme hyperfixation mode for them. no group (except for seventeen and skz) can invoke such feelings from me like nu’est does.

while I can still enjoy their music with love and gratitude even post-disbandment, there are rare occasions where i have to avoid listening to their music because it’s too painful to think of how it all ended. about what could’ve been.

i’ve been a DEVOUT nu’est stan since their debut in 2012 (alongside seventeen in 2013). i saw their peaks and troughs. and it feels like not only did i watch them grow, but also grew up with them.

and no i’m not saying this in a weird, creepy parasocial way. but genuinely in the sense that i’ve been listening to them since i was just a wee little middle schooler. their music, as well as numerous other groups from that era, served as the background music to my life.

thank you nu’est. thank you so much for filling my adolescence with insurmountable happiness during a phase in my life where I was clueless and insecure. thank you for being a source of comfort during my lowest periods. thank you for showing me the importance of grit and not letting a rock bottom phase hinder me from going after what I desire. thank you for helping me find solace in a community of fellow loves whom I still speak with to this day after all these years. and even though it’s been two years since the disbandment, it’s also been 12 years (wtf….no way) since the debut. and i WILL continue enjoying your music from years on out because it transcends time. it will always be a source of comfort and solace for me.

and even though I don’t truly wish to go back to the past, I will always cherish and respect the memories I held with your discography. and even though ot5 is no more, it’ll always be ot5 in my heart. forever and beyond.

every era evokes different eras of my own life - face, action, and hello from when I was just beginning middle school, sleep talking from when i was entering 8th grade. re:birth being released on my 15th birthday 🥺. their string of cringey japanese releases from when i was about to begin high school.

and of course, that segues into my next tangent - q is and beyond. during their inception, they had one of the most viewed debuts of their time and had a promising trajectory. face, action, and hello were all well-received. but then they fell into nugudom after sleep talking. and this was their first korean cb after 2 years. I remember rejoicing in happiness when q is came out. i remember listening to it on the way to my first period english class with my headphones and then continuing listening to it during our silent reading sessions lmao 😭💀. I cried happy tears and voted obsessively for them when they were promo-ing on music shows. they never won. but I was still happy and grateful they were back nonetheless. fast forward to later that year and they came back with an amaaazziingg fall album that i always come back to every september - canvas. this album was a source of comfort for me during that turbulent period coughs….the 2016 election…and when I started taking college classes in high school

we absolutely CANNOT talk about nu’est without discussing broduce 101. this absolute dumpster fire of a show tested my patience so much. I remember being PISSED when intl fans weren’t allowed to vote this season because I wanted to support my boys the same way I supported the pledis girlz who’d soon become p-…p��.pristin….but that’s a tangent for another day daahhllliinnggss🥴🥴… i was so unhinged too that I even watched it during class sometimes LMAOOO HELP this is so hilarious to look back at😭💀

anyways I felt that this was simultaneously the best and worst season of p101 ever. most of the contestants were amazing and went on to release some gooood music afterwards. but good fucking god mnet tugged at my heartstrings wayyy too hard. I couldn’t stand it. as someone who is also a dedicated predebut carat, I also watched it for my baby samuel 🥺😢 mnet did both nu’est and sammy so dirty.

I remember the p101 s2 finale so vividly. I remember it like it was yesterday. I promised myself I wouldn’t peek at any social media that day but during lunch break i ACCIDENTALLY opened twitter and the moment I saw the spoilers, tears immediately made their way to my eyes. it broke my heart so bad. that entire day I was a fucking mess trying to make it through my last three classes of the day. the moment I got home, the first thing i did was lock myself in the bathroom and cry for an hour. I then cried even more in the shower.

it hurt me so bad seeing minhyun sobbing like that. the way jr still had the biggest smile on his face with happy tears for minhyun despite not making it into wanna one’s lineup still tests my sanity.

and the final straw? seeing the camera panning to seungcheol’s somber expression and samuel’s parents. and good fucking grief…….I cannot even imagine how seungcheol must’ve felt. I don’t think I could ever fathom the level of sorrow he felt at that very moment. for both nu’est and samuel. seeing all of his former colleagues that he himself grew up with being used as mere pawns by mnet. even after all these years, I still have to hold back tears whenever I dwell on this moment.

luckily that sorrow was soon followed by joy. when they created nu’est w as a workaround for minhyun’s year at wanna one, I was elated to see how successful they were doing on the charts and the way yEoBoSaYoOoO never dies🤣💀

where you at. deja vu. help me. all solid title tracks with immaculate b-sides to top it all off. ahhh. what a breath of fresh air the nu’est w era was. seeing them finally have their redemption after years of ridicule. and look….as much as I adored wanna one, part of me couldn’t wait until minhyun was finally back with nu’est sjsjsjsjsk😭

And when that moment came? OOOOOOF OMG!!!! I cannot stress ENOUGH how much I love happily ever after!!!! WHAT A COMEBACK ALBUM THAT WAS!!! NOT A SINGLE FUCKING SKIP! I still enjoy listening to it. it was an era that showed that they’re finally back in full force.

I felt that this era reflected nu’est in their fullest, highest form. THIS is who nu’est is! THIS is what their music sounds like! THIS is their image. if I were to introduce nu’est to anyone, I’d show them this album first.

later that year, they released the table and a string of songs with spoonz. such an underrated era tbh. not as strong as happily ever after was. but BOY OH BOY these guys KNOW how to drop a solid disco style song. love me is suuuch an ear worm that deserves more appreciation tbh.

and can we talk about THEEEE fucking NOCTURNE!?!?? OH MY GOODNESS WHAT AN ERA!!!! I’m in trouble is one of my fav title tracks next to bet bet. not even joking. reason being is coz as a britney stan, it really reminds me of oops I did it again lmaooo. moondance is one of my fav nuest b-sides EVERRR! AND THE WAY IT WAS PRODUCED BY JC CHASEZ FROM NSYNC TOO!?!??? I never expected to see my worlds colliding like this. just to clarify, I have a love-hate relationship and one-sided beef with nsync because of what justin did to britney. JC DESERVED BETTER! HE DESERVED WHAT J*STIN GOT!!! AGGGH but that’s a tangent for another day daahhlliinnggsss……..😪🤐

the nocturne really comforted me during the pandemic. during this point in time, I remember thinking “wow. it’s been 8 years. and even through this moment of global darkness, they’re still going strong and bringing light to their fans”.

a year later, they released their 2nd full album and their first release under the hybe acquisition and a week before drunk-slayed🥰what a slayful month april was. inside out wasn’t my absolute fav title track but I definitely found it to be a refreshing spring anthem. AND i llooovvee me some nu’solos 🤌🏼🤌🏼

i remember hearing about the news of NU’EST’s disbandment and going WHAT!?!??? it was as if I IMMEDIATELY felt my world turning upside down. I was in the middle of studying for finals AND wrapping up my internship. it was stressful already. i also went on a cold turkey social media fast. BUT I accidentally opened youtube and it threw off my whole vibe when studying for my exams.

I felt like a fucking wreck. It wasn’t until after that shitstorm was over when I actually checked out needle and bubble (lazy ass album thanks to hybe) and sobbed THEEEE absolute UGLIEST tears ever.

it broke my heart to see hybe disbanding nu’est like at the drop of a hat because they were JUST having their second career glory. they threw all of NU’EST’s hard work down the drain. and it’s disappointing because we could’ve seen more nu’enha and nu’txt interactions (living off my very few minhyun and baekho crumbs since they’re still under hybe) 😢 we could’ve seen them and seventeen together being big brothers to the youngsters and witnessed what would’ve been the sweetest, most wholesome interactions ever. sigh. the very few nu’enha and nu’txt interactions that exist are the crumbs I will madly eat.

NU’EST’s lore/backstory is what makes them iconic. and it’s amazing how even to this day they STILL inspire “nugu” idols to get a second chance and redeem themselves. no other group has the story nu’est does and that’s also another reason I respect them so much. what they’ve accomplished is not an easy feat. and their persistence in keeping their dreams alive actually inspires me to keep going in life even when I’m at my lowest. nu’est may be ‘disbanded’, but their story lives on and will continue to inspire and motivate others.

thank you aaron. thank you jr. thank you baekho. thank you minhyun. thank you ren.

thank you nu’est.

[dandyinl0ve]

missing purple 💜

i am fully aware life goes on. kissing you was not the peak of my life, being in your arms was not the climax of my story. there is certainly an after you and the after you is in no way changed in its path to glory and true life by the absence of you. its trajectory remains, and i believe in the greatness of the “after you”.

it does, however, feel like something is missing, in this “after you”. not enough to diminish all the merits and blessings and greatness of the “after you” this life i live and shall live, nor enough to dim my approach and my appreciation. but something is missing.

call it a “could’ve been” or a “missed chance” or what happens in a “different lifetime” or “parallel universe”. i will call it an incomplete rainbow. many rainbows lack the color purple due to its place on the visible spectrum and its ability to simply fade into blue. life without you is life without purple. all of the sudden, the purple has been taken out of life. the green of the trees still exists, the blue expanse of the sky, the greenish tinge of modern beaches, the brilliant oranges and pinks of a sunset, the red of a rose. the world is still a transformed canvas of truly magnificent pigmentation, but it lacks just one color. purple is rare in nature, often incorrect or not truly violet when reproduced at the hands of man. this explains why the color belongs to the rich and royal, why it is absent from many flags, and why it is not your most seen color when walking around a deserted island (if that is an experience you have). the world might not even seem so different without purple, if it never had it to begin with. but oh, what a small yet mighty drag it is to see without purple. the lilac tinted blue in the mornings as dawn makes her way across the sky, the bursts of color in blossoms contrasting the green of the grass, the ink and barrel of my favorite fountain pen, whose status amongst my stationery collection has nothing to do with my purchasing it the first and only full day we spent as “together” in germany, stunning graphics on computer screens, beloved items of clothing like sweatshirts and converse. what a gift purple is to the world, and it seems so unfair to wrench it out of unassuming hands. you can enjoy and ignore, but you will never have purple, and you are always aware that you will never have purple.

my dear, you are my purple. i am mourning the loss of purple. i will live my violet-less life, my ***-free life, and i will enjoy it as i know you would. but i will always miss purple. are you missing purple, my love? did you lose all green, so bountiful, or did you lose a specific color like a true fluorescent pink, not much of a loss? i don’t dare to ask if you go through life with a full spectrum, because i don’t dare to believe you aren’t hurt, no matter how real and probable that chance is. i hope you still have purple, my love. i, for one, wish i had mine.

[kivaember]

starting that sulla oneshot i'd been thinking about writing for a while.... the one that'll eventually become sulla/walter... turned sulla into a farm boy that became a pilot BECAUSE WHY NOT

anyway wip under the cut hehe

Despite being a Rubiconian born and raised, this was the first time Sulla had ever stepped foot within the vaunted halls of the Xylem. 

It had a legendary history, one that had likely been embellished after a thousand retellings over the course of nearly two centuries. While its glitzy high-rises and cutting edge laboratories would make most think otherwise, the Xylem had once been a dingy, beaten up old colony ship that had landed on Rubicon-3 by mistake, its trajectory altered by a defective navigational AI while the human colonists and crew were placed into stasis for the decades long journey. No one had complained, though, as their original destination had been a planet deemed barely habitable, whereas Rubicon had been a lush paradise from the moment the colonists had stepped off their junker of a spaceship. 

That was all ancient history, though, and the Xylem Sulla visited definitely wasn’t the original colony ship. That had been built on a starvation budget, with inferior materials that shouldn’t have survived the journey, according to science and had basically fallen apart the moment it had (crash)landed. This Xylem had been rebuilt from the ground up, modelled after the original but improved and scaled up by a hundred, with its internal stasis warehouses replaced with laboratories, hydroponic farms and other amenities that the intellectual elite enjoyed in the technocracy that ruled Rubicon. 

After all, while Earth still toiled under its outdated and cannibalistic corporate oligarchy, Rubicon enjoyed an enlightened and liberal society where scientific and technical achievements were exalted, and the greedy chase for profits scorned. 

(Or, so they said officially. Sulla knew that in reality they weren’t much different from the UEG and its corporate vassals - they just hid it under a bright and pleasant veneer.)

It was certainly different to Sulla’s hometown of Ebla, which was less of a town and more of a very ambitious village, surrounded by great fields of rye and barley, and vast, rolling plains of grazing grass. The ‘breadbasket of Belius’, Ebla was known as, and Sulla could’ve continued the family business along with his two brothers, but he had wanted more for himself, had looked up at the vast blue skies and wanted to soar, so had joined the Pilot Corps for the Rubiconian Militia. He’d returned to Ebla a few times since then, but not as much as he should’ve. 

Either way, it was the polar opposite to Xylem’s urban skyline. The only patch of nature to be seen were aggressively organised parks or pavement trees, and there weren’t many birds either, anything that could serve as a perch adorned with cruel metal spikes. It made the whole thing seem rather unsettling to him, but Sulla supposed that the scientific elite probably didn’t like being reminded overly much of nature. They were violating it on a daily basis after all. 

Which circled back to the reason why he was here in the first place.

[zalrb]

(soa anon) Sorry, I didn't realize what was sent. I was asking how do you think the storyline would go had Bonnie been stuck on the other side with Stefan as opposed to the other one.

LMAO "the other one". So I'm guessing you mean the prison world and not the other side. Well, is the prison world storyline the same? Are they stuck in the 90s, is Kai still around? Because really what the prison world served to do was introduce Kai as a villain and give "layers" to Damon because he makes blueberry pancakes everyday as penance for murdering pregnant women.So, like, the major difference would be that Stefan wouldn't be verbally abusive toward Bonnie for however long they stayed there, he would be more actively protective of Bonnie from Kai, and it's a toss up between who would be left behind in the prison world but because of how antiblack the show is it would still probably be Bonnie. They could do the 90s flashback of Damon's massacre from Stefan's perspective but it would still lead back to Stefan wanting to get back to reality to be there for Damon because he needs him.

Like, I don't really think a different character would change much about the experience of the prison world if it's the exact same storyline because the prison world wasn't really put to use as an idea. Like I maintain this would've been cool:

Like, I always said that Bonnie being in the Prison World alone could’ve led to playing with time, like if she somehow (unknowingly) made the 90s bleed over into real time so reality and past sort of meet, which changes the trajectory of a lot of relationships and plot lines so then the core group have to find a way to get Bonnie out of the Prison World before she completely wipes away the reality they know.

But within the realm of the show, the concept of the two martyrs of the show being locked together in a prison world because of their martyrdom could be interesting. I quasi explore that in the few Stefonnie fics that I have. If anything, the potential I see with that is the two of them pushing each other to reveal the toll of their decisions to shoulder the responsibility and be a support for one another and then it would be interesting when they both come back to the reality/Mystic Falls and kind of hold each other accountable for their martyr tendencies and the rest of the group has to realize how much they rely on the two of them taking one for the team and the different dynamic shifts that would happen because of that.

[tofreezetime]

a butterfly lands on a lavender flower

the trajectory changes

and everyting could’ve been different

[sockgate]

I attended the premiere of My Policeman at TIFF yesterday so I wanted to share my thoughts on the film. I’m not a film major or a professional by any means, I’m just a fan of Harry’s who was interested to see how him and his costars would make the book come to life.

Most of my thoughts are spoilers for both the book AND film (no I will not differentiate because it would simply take too long) so the review will be under the cut. 

HUGE MASSIVE DISCLAIMER: these are my thoughts and feelings on the film. I read the book so thats the basis of where I’m coming from. I’m not an actor, a director, a writer, or anything of the sort that would make me capable of participating in the making of a movie. I haven’t read any reviews as to not skew my thoughts. This is solely my opinion on the film.

Things I liked: 

- I preferred the book, where it was Patrick and Marions back and forth about their relationship with Tom. I was worried that the film would make Tom/Marion the ‘preferred pairing’ but they made it very obvious Tom was never interested in Marion romantically. For example, in the couple sex scenes Tom/Marion had, he could never look her in the eyes. It was clear Tom confided in her as a friend (and they similarly had an affinity for Patrick). IIRC I believe there is a part in the film where Tom is explicitly stated as homosexual. 

- With all the controversy (and rightfully so) about Harry being casted as a gay cop, I found that they handled this story line very well. I never liked the fact that he was a cop in the story, and IMO his profession could have replaced with anything else and it would have held a similar socio-political effect in the story (for example, he could’ve been a teacher instead). Obviously this changes the plot of the film a bit but would have a similar effect (in the teacher example, a gay man at that time would be considered ‘unfit to work with children’). 

I can’t remember if this happens in the book but Tom burns his uniform near the end of film. And in that same scene, tells Marion he never liked it or what it stood for, what he had to do in the profession, etc. I didn’t find that the act and the statement made by Tom was shoehorned in, personally I found it was done very well with the progression of his character. 

- I found David to be the standout. He is such a wildcard in Tom/Marions relationship and how they treat each other, and their personal turmoil ultimately changes the trajectory of Patrick’s life. David did an incredible job showcasing Patrick’s story and I hope he gets talked about more!

- I also really liked Linus’ portrayal of Tom, considering what he had to work with and playing with the ‘grown’ version of Harry’s Tom. I think he made the character his own and it really came through on screen.

- I don’t know much about how movies are made but it felt like it was well edited in the first 1/3 of the film? A very clear separation between time periods, different locations and scenes were well set up for callbacks later in the movie, etc, etc. 

- The best scenes with that included Harry were ones were he wasn’t talking. I know, I know, but let me explain. Personally, I found lot of the scenes where he was with Patrick and Marion sensually/sexually showed a lot more of his acting. There wasn’t many of these (I’ll get to that later) but so many of the scenes with Patrick where they were just ~together~ showed off his potential. One of my favourite scenes was them (post-coitus) on Patricks couch with Tom lying in his lap smoking a cigarette from Patrick’s hand. So simple! Yet so effective! I just found these scenes more convincing and conveyed Harry’s character a lot more. Harry acts very well with his facial features, his hands, his eyes, his body, etc, etc. 

Things I didn’t like: 

- Harry’s acting. It felt like he was reading his lines a lot of the movie. I don’t want to call it bland because I truly don’t want to be harsh and I do think his charisma and charm works in some parts of the film. He was very... dull at times? And I know this is how he sounds, and how he talks, and who he is, but the point of acting is to work past that, and personally, I couldn’t see past ‘Harry Styles-in-a-movie’ because he just sounded like himself reading lines for Tom Burgess. In a film, I feel like your voice should have levels? Fluidity? Depending on the scene you should sound different and bring a different energy. And most times, it felt all the same level to me. In hindsight, it makes a lot of sense that most of the trailers include glances and touches and kisses because those were truly his best scenes.

I think the worst of it is the scene where Tom tells Marion Patrick was arrested. Tom returns home and is obviously freaking the fuck out, and for most of it Tom is just…. not on screen?? He is blabbing about rightfully loosing his shit about his circumstance, and the shot is on Marion the whole time. It looked like the scene was meant to go back and forth on them because Marion didn’t look like the intended focus, so I think Harry’s lines were literally ADRed in (and we KNOW he did ADR for this film)... such an odd choice and ultimately fucked up a very important scene that sets up the rest of the film’s plot. I am so proud of Harry and what he was able to accomplish with this film, though I do believe he needs more experience in the field. 

- I hated how Harry/Tom was portrayed as the most charming and handsome and sexy man and almost nothing else. Like Marion explains to Julia why she likes Tom over Patrick and Marions basically like ‘because he’s dumb and hot?’ It gave him little range as a character, and though the whole movie was focused on him, it felt like he had no personality besides being gay, closeted and sexy. There was this scene before Patrick draws Tom where Tom says “i’VE neVER mODeLeD BeFOrE” like 😐 was it really necessary for Harry Styles TM to break the forth wall like that..... hence why it felt like I was watching the ‘Harry-Styles-gay-cop-movie’ because thats literally what it was most of the time. 

- I didn’t really find this very poignant in the book, but the movie makes it seem like Patrick is taking advantage of Tom’s innocence and mentions their age difference a few times. From my understanding Tom was a “virgin” (I use that term very loosely) before meeting Patrick. I also disliked that in many of their first sex scenes, either Tom was drunk and making advances, or both of them were. I found the book was better at making them equals but establishing that Patrick has lived experience and trauma as a queer man in England, rather than the film’s subtext of ‘he’s taking advantage of someone who hasn’t come to terms with their sexuality yet’. 

- MANY important plot points that fleshed out the characters and gave a lot of context to Marion’s ignorance were only included in the movie for shock value. It was extremely disappointing. JULIA. They massacred my girl (figuratively). I’m actually so mad over this. Her role in the book was so well done and in the film she has maybe two scenes?? And in one of them she comes out as a lesbian?? Like the point of including her in the book as a close friend of Marion’s shows that Marion doesn’t realize the existence and importance of queer people in her own life. Having an established relationship between Julia and Marion ultimately showcases her ignorance later in the book for both Julia and Patricks (and Toms) identity. I also think they should have alluded to the fact that Marion’s letter was written while Tom and Patrick were in Venice. Aka show the audience she’s mad, show she’s trying to figure out what to do next (50/50, phone a friend, ask the audience, SOMETHING!!) If you give the audience a little something to go off of, kind of .. letting us know she was doing some scheming to get back at them while they were away, a reveal at the end of the movie feels earned and appropriate. Don’t reveal she’s the one who wrote the letter in fucking a 1999 scene 40 years later and use for purely shock value??? so disappointing. 

- There was a lot of sex. Which I completely understand, due to the context of the film and exactly how they decided to showcase and differentiate the relationships between Tom/Marion and Tom/Patrick. Though at times it felt as though there was nothing else for them to show of their relationships? Tom and Marion had multiple scenes where they were arguing or getting into petty fights with each other, which was in turn the basis for their uneventful sex life. Tom and Patrick were clearly interested and deeply cared for each other as they were risking so much as gay individuals in the 1950s, though not much was explored after their first sex scene. Sure Patrick was able to show Tom his interests in art and culture (which Tom would in turn show to Marion) though past that first Tom/Marion/Patrick focus of the film, and besides a mention of Patrick’s past lover that went to prison, it died out. I would have loved to see more sensual scenes between Tom and Patrick not post-sex, not pre-sex, as I think there was a lot more to unpack about who they are as queer people and aspects of their personality that they see in each other that are unrelated to sex. It almost feels like movie kind of places them together and then has them fuck each other just because they both like guys. Maybe it’s because you don’t see much of queer Tom outside of his relationship with Patrick 🤷‍♀️ idk.

- As mentioned before there’s A LOT of sex in this movie. And guess who the main focus is for most of these scenes? You guessed it! Tom. It didn’t surprise me obviously, because ‘sex sells’ is literally tattooed to every HSHQ employees forehead.. but like... after the fourth or fifth ~Harry orgasm noise~ I’m just not interested. I would have rather had a couple of those scenes replaced with Patrick and Tom drinking together, talking (not pre or post-sex), or eat a meal together. Literally anything other than fuck. To the anon who asked: it’s not p*rnographic but its not something I’d recommend watching with your parents (I’m taking my mom to see it Saturday, I’ll keep you updated). It’s HBO level sex scenes: so you can see peoples asses, legs, arms, chests/nipples, (feet if you’re Universals first gay romantic comedy BROS) and peoples faces while they fuck. Hence all the ~Harry orgasm noises and faces~. 

TDLR; not a bad film but not a great one. I preferred the book over the film, though I do think parts of the film were fleshed out better than the book (and vice versa). I think Harry has potential as an actor but should go for supporting roles first before taking on these huge commitments where he has big shoes to fill. Rating: 6.5-7 letters declaring your husbands lover is a closeted gay man out of 10.

[caffernnn]

Hi! I love your blog 💙 also as a fellow makoharu shipper (I finally watch the Final Stroke) I noticed the parallels of Kiyofumi and Ryuuji vs. Makoto and Haru and they are kind of interesting? Kiyofumi tells Ryuuji that "your swimming makes everyone feel good/happy" similar to Makoto saying that he felt happy seeing Haru swim after his race with Rin (also kind of parallels to episode 9 of season 1, where Makoto tells him he felt happy to swim in the relay with him). Also Hiyofumi saying "Hisashiburi" to Ryuuji, which parallels at the end of the movie with Makoto saying it to Haru. Fans on twitter have said that the Fanbook of Free! The Final Stroke mentioned "Kiyofumi is the indispensable presence of Ryuji Azuma as Makoto for Haru but since he passed away Azuma is alone now and really sad." Sorry for the rambling, I just love the meta 😅

Thanks, friend 💚 and YEAH the setup for Ryuuji to see himself in Haru and for his relationship with Kiyofumi to come back in his mind when he sees Haru with his close bonds (especially Makoto) is definitely an interesting one! I think there are more people out there who have spent more time sitting with Ryuuji’s character to properly understand him (I’m trying to be less of a hater) BUT from what I remember (being several months removed from watching the FS movies now) the few insights we got to see into Kiyofumi/Azuma’s past had me curious as to how it would all play into how Ryuuji reacts to seeing Haru’s spiraling trajectory once he chooses to take his advice and isolate. Imagine your grief manifesting into this idea of “I didn’t have a choice, but if you have one, leave before you can have a chance to lose them,” and then not seeing the flaw in that until this kid you see a lot of yourself in falls into that trap and loses touch with himself completely. If the first season of fr! could’ve been seen as a story of lost lonely former swimmers relearning the importance of connectivity through rebuilding (forming a new team, watching Rei learn from the ground up, building skills and trust in each other and everything else), there was ample setup from s3 to the FS movies for Azuma’s arc to mirror that same discovery process. His loss is different (there’s no getting back Kiyofumi for him :/) but there’s still a chance of rebuilding after, connecting after. Coaching is a shot at rebuilding, and the ways he approaches Haru had potential for rebuilding… but I don’t think we got to see as much of that tbh. Part of my delight/frustration with FS is that there are seeds for so many storylines and relationships to care about at this point, but that overwhelm of potential left a lot of avenues not fully explored. I’m not saying that out of all the fun crumbs introduced that the Ryuuji-Haru mentor/mentee storyline should’ve been top priority or anything, buuuut I would be curious to see that whole parallel setup get a proper follow-through. What do they learn from each other, if anything? Does Ryuuji ever realize he’s too close or invested for reasons not related to helping Haru? Do they have a serious talk during his rehab about a way forward that might not involve the pro world long-term, or that might not involve them moving on together? Could there be more moments between Ryuuji and Makoto as he keeps growing as a coach/trainer, since there’s also something interesting there?? Would be curious to see more takes on this 🥲

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.32--Episodes 22-1

I have watched through S4E1; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—My feels have been decimated. I should’ve expected a scene wherein Rumple visited Bae’s grave, but I didn’t. OUCH. —It’s pretty cool that Snow and Charming named their son Neal. I wonder how Rumple feels about that.

—Men who wear rings are>>>>>>>>

—I just can’t stand that Dr. Hopper officiated Rumple’s wedding. *weeping happily* *definitely got hit in the feels again* *actually having a pretty good time for once* Is he licensed to do that tho? Also, I adore that he’s the kinda guy who cries at weddings 🥰

—I knew it was a bad idea for Emma to bring that lady back, but I didn’t know it would be this bad! Of all the ladies sentenced to death she could’ve saved, she had to save Marian?

—Look, I love Elsa more than life, but there ain’t no way she’s not gonna hog the spotlight at some point. Her own sister gets trampled to tell her story—which I don’t mind, because Elsa’s story kills me me in the most beautiful way—but these others characters don’t stand a chance.

—It’s so fun that Emma gets to be in the book now!

—I want Hook and Emma to be together, but I’m not entirely sure I have faith in her feelings for him. She’s acting kinda weirdy, so I’m not sure it’s completely legit.

—I’m so sick of Aurora and Philip. I hate them for being in Storybrooke.

—Time will tell whether I end up pleased with the Frozen characters or wish they’d just gone for a fresh Winter’s Child idea. So far, this is much more Frozen than any of the other stories have been their source material.

—I do know that I’m not thrilled with Elsa’s design. I would’ve liked her face to match her original design more—some purple eyeshadow, a darker shade of lipstick, and if not thick, at least full eyelashes. And her dress should’ve gone in the opposite direction; her ice clothes are literally impossible to recreate in a satisfactory manner. Besides, the other princesses don’t wear their signature clothes. (Hmmm…I’m starting to see a trend here.) I really would’ve loved to see a new Elsa dress, maybe reminiscent of the original, but something new and different. Also I’m mad that Anna is just wearing her movie outfit, too.

—But Elsa is still a gorgeous gorgeous girl. So pretty. Stunning.

—Sydney has really just been in the basement this whole time. Poor guy.

—The dancing scene with Belle and Rumple was outstanding. Using the Beauty and the Beast song? Iconic. Finally getting see Belle in a proper princessy dress? No complaints there. RUMPLE IN A FAIRYTALE PRINCE OUTFIT? I’M ABOUT TO COMBUST!!!!

—I’m glad I’m not Regina. Having Robin reaffirm his commitment to his marriage (note: not necessarily to Marian herself, cause he’s lived without her for a while) would’ve just made me fall in love with him more.

—I love the way this show depicts the way people change each other. It’s not just the big, dramatic things, like how Henry changed Regina or how Belle changed Rumple; it’s the little flashbacks that show us how Baelfire shaped Emma’s worldview. People are like different waves in the ocean: we bump into each other all the time, flowing into each other’s lives and experiences, and each time we do we shift each other’s trajectories ever-so-slightly. It’s beautiful.

—Yeah, I’m putting myself off the fence. I do not like the start the Frozen stuff has gotten. It’s too much like the movie.

—Lmao Belle’s last name is literally French.

—Is that the hat from the Sorcerer’s Apprentice? Because good golly I would like to see Yen Sid. Mickey Mouse might be a lil preposterous for this show, but Yen Sid could work.

—It’s kinda funny how all the important stuff just ends up in Rumple’s store. It’s also kinda funny that in all of Storybrooke’s crises, there hasn’t been a single mob raid on that store.

—Anna is serving some young Natalie Portman vibes (specifically, Padme) and I’m low-key here for it. I mean, I have my issues with Padme, but goshdarnit was she ever pretty.

—Am I finally get to know who wrote that book? I’ve been wondering that since the first season.

—The ice trail Elsa left behind while she was walking through Storybrooke had some major slug energy. Lol

—It might be kinda fun if Elsa and Anna’s parents were sort-of badguys in this movie. They were kinda s u s to begin with, might as well just go whole hog on it. Besides, bad parents are a theme in this show, so it wouldn’t even be out of place.

—I hope we get to see Elsa’s coronation. Have I already said I’m dubious on the Frozen stuff? Yes, I have. But…it has capacity to be different. It has the potential to tell Frozen’s story in a somewhat new way. And most importantly, it has the possibility of seeing Elsa in a pretty coronation outfit and crown.

[watchmakermori]

I finally finished the inversion of genesis archon quest the other day (it took me ages because i got interrupted due to nahida being busy in another quest and i could not be fucking bothered to do it). on the whole I liked the trajectory they took with scara, where he tries to erase his existence and past, but ultimately ends up choosing to remember everything that he did. it could’ve been executed better on the whole, but it’s still a rare moment of actual character development in a genshin quest

the bit I didn’t like too much was the tataratsuna stuff. I felt like the explanation of what happened with katsuragi, niwa, and dottore was needlessly convoluted. involving dottore in scara’s past doesn’t work for me and I will not be incorporating it into my headcanons. I feel like it was done to give scara more of a reason to want revenge on him, but...he didn’t need any more motivation. dottore exploited him and preyed on his desperate desires to become a god - risking his life in the process - then totally abandoned him when the plan fell through. that’s more than enough reason for scara to hate him

so I do ultimately like where scara’s character ended up, but not the path they took to get there. I have my own take on what went on in tatarasuna and I still prefer it. at this point, my own interpretation of scara and the actual canon version of him are pretty different, but that’s part of the fun of genshin. the whole thing is a sandbox to play around in.

I actually really liked the fact that the traveler helps choose his new name at the end of the quest, though. I called him Morita on my account, which is a name he uses in one of the fics I wrote

[if-i-can-dream-of-elvis]

Hello again guys, I'm finally back! So, it's been over three weeks since I saw Elvis in theaters for the first time! I had intended to come here to share my thoughts on the film right after the session, but I felt I couldn't put into words the myriad of emotions that washed over me that day. Ironically, even though I thought it’d get easier as time went on, now I feel more incapable of taking about it than before hahah! I think only die-hard Elvis fans will understand when I say that this is an extremely significant experience in our lives... seriously, people, it's indescribably magical! I've been an Elvis fan for over 15 years (yes, I was from the generation of fans that came after the Disney animated movie Lilo & Stitch, when I was around 8 years old hehe) and I never imagined that one day I'd have the opportunity to witness a tribute of this magnitude, so thoughtful and respectful to his legacy. However, in the middle of 2022, here we are! Baz Luhrmann took on the challenging task of telling the story of one of music's greatest icons and, in my humble opinion, he brilliantly fulfilled his mission!

(I’ll be sharing more thoughts about Elvis under the cut!)

I personally was very afraid of how Elvis would be described and, above all, interpreted in this new biopic, but after hearing the positive verdict from the Presley family itself, I was able to breathe more relieved while waiting for the premiere. I've been following the news about the making of this film for a long time, but to be honest nothing could prepare me for the wonder of seeing a work by Baz Luhrmann! I had never seen any of his films, so I was tremendously impacted in the first few minutes, which were quite frantic and ecstatic, perfectly paralleling Elvis' meteoric rise to stardom. Throughout the film, the pace became a little more cadenced, but without losing the energetic and nostalgic nature, much of it due to the remarkable performance of Austin Butler, who undoubtedly put his body and soul into this project. Seriously folks, no words can do justice to Austin's talent... he didn't just play Elvis in the movie; he became Elvis! Initially I had thought that the similarities would be limited only to the physical characteristics, but no... the voice, the laughter, the way of walking, dancing, the mannerisms, the humanity; his acting was impeccable and unforgettable! The stage performances of Elvis' different eras were all electrifying and the bits about his personal life were always very emotional. I really hope Austin gets recognized next awards season because he really deserves it. Oh, and another award-worthy thing is the outfits! My lord, I was blown away by the amount of costumes that were recreated for this movie, and some of them only had a few seconds of screen time! It was a phenomenal job that deserves to be acknowledged in the awards.

I had commented before when I only had the first impressions of the trailer, but I’ll reinforce here: I'm completely obsessed with film’s aesthetics! It's so vibrant, radiant, extravagant! My eyes were delighted with the explosion of colors and sparkles... watching in theaters is truly a unique experience! Austin's musical performances, recreating some of the most iconic concerts or specials in Elvis' career, were meant to be appreciated on the big screen, indeed! Sometimes I'm still impressed by Baz’s ability of covering so many important events of a trajectory as tumultuous as Elvis' in just one film. Yes, by the standards of current productions the film is quite extensive, but it never gets boring or dragged, you know? There's always something interesting to tell to the audience. And to be honest, those felt like the fastest two hours and forty minutes of my life lol! You literally don't see time pass while you're there, completely captivated by Elvis' charismatic aura. I thought there could’ve been a little more of the man behind the myth, focusing on his spiritual side, and I wish there were more interactions with his family too... but it was certainly due to time constraints. Despite that, from beginning to end, the film was very engaging and human. I felt my soul being torn apart when I saw the last moments of Elvis' life, all the insecurity and loneliness he’d been dealing with even though he was surrounded by so many people... so many people who could’ve helped him. When he talked about being afraid of being forgotten, my eyes got teary, but I soon put on a little smile thinking to myself: “look at how funny life is, my boy, you were there imagining that no one would remember you, and now, almost 45 years after you left us, legions of fans, old and new, are flocking to movie theaters across the world to celebrate all that you've given us!”. He really had no idea of ​​his greatness and the impact he had (and still would have) on the lives of thousands of people. I hope now he understands it, wherever he is haha! (I had to lighten up now because I'm already full of tears here lol)

Anyway, guys, I won't go on further because I can go rambling on forever! If any of you wants to know a little more about my opinions (or to talk about anything really), my DM is always open, ok? But just to sum it up: I fell madly in love with Baz Luhrmann's Elvis and I want to rewatch this masterpiece over and over again! I unfortunately only had the opportunity to see the film in theaters once (because of short money and no one’s really willing to go with me heh) and I’ll probably rewatch it this week at home because I have a freshly downloaded HD version with me hehe! Oh, and I went to the first session on the opening day, and there were less than ten people in the room... I went hoping to see the place crowded and with people crying and applauding at the ending, but it didn't happen... I think the only one that got out wiping her eyes with a paper tissue and sobbing uncontrollably was me lol

And good lordy, I must confess to you there are times when I feel like an ancient lady in this fandom, because I'm literally seeing a new generation of Elvis fans emerge, fans younger than me! It's amazing and scary at the same time lol but everyone is always welcome! I'm starting to follow and meet a bunch of Elvis stans on twitter and now, after years of waiting, we've finally formed a lovely little community of fans! If anyone out there wants to follow me, my username is @holystargazer ♡

My sincerest thanks to those who read this far! Stay safe and TCB⚡