#the two of them are part of a 3 team idol group

[darewolfcreates]

Failed Octo-wepon experiment: Mince

[wooahaes]

feel me

pairing: non-idol!han x gn!reader, some non-idol!felix x gn!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending. slight fluff.

word count: ~21k

warnings: angst with a happy ending. mutual pining that’s fully believed to only be one-sided by both parties. temporary relationship with felix. heartbreak. no communication at one part after jisung ghosts reader for almost three weeks. big brother-figure chris having serious talks with reader. fluff in certain parts, though. food mentions. hyunjin is kinda ready to throw down at one point tbh.

daisy’s notes: title origin from the golden child song bc the lyrics kinda fit haha <3 anyway rewrite of this old thing!! also sorry felix but if u get the sequel fic i'm thinkin of... u will be happy <3

Most people looked at the friendship you had with Chris and assumed that he was your best friend. The two of you had grown up down the road from one another, after all, and that had been why you ended up befriending one another. His family all knew you by name and knew all of your favorites (because Chris had learned them first and made sure everyone knew them), and they all watched you follow Chris around like a duckling when you were small. Pictures of the two of you littered the walls of both your childhood home and his, all from vacations your families had taken together. Plus your parents always made enough food for Chris on any given day, since he always found his way over for dinner at the most random times. If anything, Chris was family to you now, the big brother you never had (and, occasionally when he was being a little overly affectionate, he was your big bother). Before college, Chris Bang was one-hundred-percent your best friend…

Until you met Han Jisung on the first day of freshman orientation.

Sure, the reason you came to this school was partially because you knew you’d have a friend in the area (you liked the literature program a lot more), but things changed the day you met Jisung. The two of you had been a little wary of the other people in your group, all bragging about how they wouldn’t let anyone stop them from the party life they were craving. On one hand, you kind of admired the tenacity that took… but on the other, they were the rowdy bunch out of all the groups that were around. Even though you weren’t much of a party person, your annoyance at the time firmly came from the fact you were sinking so much money into this school—even without the financial aid and scholarships you’d managed to get. Partying was fun, but denying everything in favor of it? You couldn’t wrap your head around it.

And, apparently, neither could Jisung. He’d been separated from his friends, all in the same orientation group without him, and looked a little lost. You quietly moved your chair over to him after you grew annoyed with two people hardcore flirting with one another and ignoring the poor orientation leader who was just trying to tell you all about the general education program. He’d looked up at you, and you introduced yourself to him quietly—trying not to catch the attention of your orientation leader. She was too busy waiting for the novelty of it all to die down for a minute so she could do her job, so… Why not take the chance to introduce yourself to him?

He’d gazed at you for a moment behind his glasses, pushing them up the bridge of his nose a moment later. “Han,” he’d said in a quiet voice. Then he cleared his throat, speaking a little louder, “I’m Han Jisung. Music management and music composition major.”

Already, you were impressed by him. Chris was in the music program himself, and you’d heard about how rigorous it could be at times—especially with the heavy course load that came from both programs. Chris had gone into it because he was… Well, he was Chris. Chris who was on the swim team and in the theater and the band and somehow found time to do community service, too. Jisung was a stranger to you in all the best ways, someone who already intrigued you. When you told him your own major, he had nodded along, no push to question your future career.

“Is that what you like?” He’d asked instead. “Books?”

It was one part of what you liked, at least. You nodded. “Do you love music?”

He’d smiled at you, and it was as if he’d become a different person for a moment. “It’s my passion,” he’d said, voice clear and bolder than before.

That had been what the two of you ended up talking about until your orientation leader managed to get control of the group again. She’d finally been given the go-ahead to give you a tour of campus, and you noticed that Jisung had decided to stick with you near the back of the group. He never said anything then, the two of you opting to listen to your leader instead, but you saw the tiny smile on his face when you were walking through the music floor of the arts building. Once you were released from your schedule for the day, he’d kept glancing at you, as if unsure of what he was about to do. Then he finally stepped up, holding up his phone.

“My friends and I are getting coffee off campus,” he said. “Do you want to come?”

That had been the moment that solidified the two of you as friends. You had happily agreed, exchanging numbers on the way as he told you about his friends. There was Felix, who he said was a sweetheart. Everyone loved Felix, and you’d eventually realize in time just how true that was. Hyunjin could be charismatic, although sometimes he could be a little sharp-tongued with people. Apparently, he and Jisung once hated each other before getting over their school rivalry—you’d never understand it, but everyone swore by it. And then there was Seungmin, who was witty and funny in all the best ways. The group seemed to accept you into their circle pretty quickly, and you honestly contributed that to Jisung…

Who you very quickly learned was incredibly funny in his own right. With the orientation group and with you alone, he’d been quieter. Polite and sweet as he could be. Yet you saw the way he loosened up over time when with his friends, genuinely funny and a bit louder with them. Maybe that was why you would end up clicking with him so well: he was versatile, conscious of the mood and finding a way to fit it well. You saw the way he seemed to naturally return to a quieter state when on his own, and you were happy to match that energy any day. 

When you returned to your dorm that day, Chris had been waiting for you. He’d watched you part ways with your new friends and decided to celebrate by squeezing the life out of you.

“You’re making friends!” He giggled, and it suddenly reminded you of the loving way your step-mom always treated you. He swayed with you, never letting you go. “You’re growing up!” 

This was definitely something he was reporting to your parents. Not that you cared: his family asked for you to look out for him, too, and you fully intended to follow through on the request. He’d already been giddy when you showed him your acceptance letter and announced you’d picked the school (he’d nearly squeezed the life out of you that day, too), gushing about how he’d have to introduce you to Minho and Changbin. That was why he’d been waiting for you that day, actually: the four of you were getting dinner together, Chris’s treat. The two of you had decided to call off any embarrassing stories (both of you had plenty of ammunition, the same way that both of his siblings had even more on you both), and you’d spent that dinner realizing just how much love you had for Chris.

That was why you had agreed to live with him come sophomore year. Regardless of whether he was being a brother figure or a bother figure, you’d agreed quickly when he gave you his clearly premeditated offer of taking the open room in his apartment. His old roommate had just moved out, and Chris apparently told him he “already had someone interested” when he brought the topic up to begin with. So he helped you carry your boxes into the apartment and the two of you enjoyed your takeout that night, giddy to be close once again. He’d invited Minho and Changbin over that night, too, to toast to your first day of living with Chris. It was at that point that you decided to introduce Jisung to them, inviting him over, too. 

Things came together from there. Minho recognized Jisung from a photo that Felix had shown him while he (and Hyunjin) were sitting around before dance practice started. Seungmin ended up getting pulled into the group through association with the rest of you, and it was you and Seungmin who pulled Jeongin into this circle. He’d been in your general education classes, and he seemed to get along pretty well with Seungmin. Seungmin introduced you to Jeongin, and you introduced Jeongin to the group, and everyone seemed to fit together in this sweet way. Even with all of you having friends of your own, you always seemed to come back to one another when times were rough.

By some stroke of luck, Hyunjin and Seungmin ended up moving in a few doors down from you and Chris. Despite Seungmin’s very vocal complaints (always made with love… you were pretty sure, at least), both of them seemed glad to have familiar faces nearby. The two always seemed to drop in when Chris was making dinner, always telling some story about their own lives. You realized that your stories almost always had Jisung and Felix in them after Seungmin pointed it out to you one night.

When did you start spending so much time with Felix? Jisung was naturally there because he was your best friend (officially now: the two of you had matching beaded bracelets you’d made for one another just to rub it in). But Felix…

Chris had picked up on how quiet you’d grown that night. But he waited to bring the topic up until one Saturday when the two of you were alone. He’d passed you the bowl of popcorn he’d made once before throwing himself onto the other end of the couch. “So. You and Felix...” 

You rolled your eyes. Your love life had always been pretty off-limits as a topic to anyone but Chris, and he was fully going to take advantage of that, wasn’t he? He’d given you a few much-needed days to figure out how you felt, and they were… Well, far from platonic. Felix was sweet as he could be, and you’d become so, so endeared to him when he started showing up to your apartment with baked goods. Everyone loved Felix, and you weren’t sure when your love for Felix became more than what it was before. Long before senior year, that was certain: every time you tried to pinpoint a beginning, you found yourself moving it further and further back to something else he’d done.

“I’m just curious!” Chris chuckled. “You always deny feeling anything for Jisung—I should have known it was Felix the entire time!”

Despite having the urge to, you didn’t roll your eyes that time. Your feelings for Jisung weren’t important. Not when he was your best friend, and having them would jeopardize that. Han Jisung did not love you the way you’d begun to love him, and you were more than happy to ignore that crush. It’d go away eventually once you stopped fantasizing about what a relationship with him would look like. And if it didn’t… Well, you’d figure that out when you came to it.

“You should go for it,” Chris said, shifting so he was slightly closer to you. “Felix is a good kid! He’s nothing like the last guy you dated—”

Oh, not this shit again. There was a reason you hadn’t dated in a while, and Chris was too aware of it. He’d been ready to get into a fist fight and call your friends as back-up. “Christopher—”

He ignored the use of your birth name, “I mean it. That guy was gross, and you deserve better than someone who thinks you should move in with them after a few weeks because living with a guy you aren’t dating is ‘weird.’” 

That had only been part of the reason you dumped the guy. You’d never told Chris any other parts because you knew what he’d say. Your ex hated Jisung because of how close the two of you were, and you weren’t going to date some insecure loser who thought he could control who you hung out with. He’d always been “fine” with the rest of your friends (begrudgingly so), but he’d targeted Jisung for some reason. Jisung was always too close to you, or he was too soft when around other people, or he was “obviously” in love with you and you were too blind to see it. If you’d let him take Jisung out of your life, you knew he’d eventually move on to someone else. It’d be Jeongin, and then Felix, and then Hyunjin… It had taken a while for you to realize it and accept it, but it was just a gateway for him to control you and your life. When you ended things with him, you told him he needed to grow the fuck up because you’d never ask him to do the things he was pressuring you to do. 

When you told Jisung that same day that you broke up with him, he’d watched you curiously for a minute. When you didn’t cry or say anything further, he smiled at you and asked if you wanted to celebrate. Jisung had treated you out for dinner that night, telling you about how he’d always thought you could do better. That guy hadn’t respected you enough to trust you, and all he could do was hope that he would eventually change for the better. It wasn’t your job to fix him, after all. You’d only left out the part where he said Jisung was in love with you: he didn’t need to know that, and  you didn’t need to hear him laugh it off as the joke that it was.

“I mean it.” Chris had moved closer to you when you never spoke up again, one hand squeezing your shoulder. “Felix is like a little brother to me. I think if you want to ask him out… The two of you would work well together.”

Maybe he had a point. But… “I thought I was your sibling.”

He rolled his eyes, moving back into his spot at the end of the couch. “Ask Jisung for help. You said they’ve known each other since high school, right?”

They have. They ended up rooming together their freshman year, and you’d almost always be spending at least a little time with Felix whenever you went to spend time with Jisung. He’d always be studying or on his way out, but he always made a point of hanging back just long enough to say hi to you and chat for a moment. Chris had a point, then. If anyone could help you, it would probably be Jisung.

(You wouldn’t know that Chris regretted the suggestion once he saw the way Jisung looked at you. He’d held his feelings to his chest for three years, and the mask slipped once when he thought no one was looking. The soft way he smiled at you, the tender look in his eyes when he heard you laugh… Chris would have taken the moment back if he could.)

Which was why you ended up in the MinSung apartment a few days later, sitting in Jisung’s computer chair. When you asked him for help, he’d agreed all too easily, saying something about how Felix did keep calling you cute. While he claimed to not know for sure (which you suspected was a lie), he’d been up front with you when he said he thought Felix might feel something toward you. Feelings in their vaguest form, but still something to give you genuine hope.

Minho had waited until you left to step into the doorway of Jisung’s room. “You’re an idiot.” 

Minho was the only person Jisung admitted his feelings about you to. He’d already picked up on it long ago, seeing the looks that everyone else seemed to not notice, and outright asked him about it. He never understood how no one, outside of himself, knew about the affection Jisung harbored for you. He’d never been all that subtle about it in Minho’s eyes, always so lovingly doting on you. He saw the way you clearly cared for Jisung, too. When he’d quietly asked Chris once whether you felt something for Jisung, he’d said you denied it every time. But while Minho had his dumb moments… He knew you were lying. You had the same loving look on your face whenever you looked at Jisung, dreamy-eyed and oh-so-tender when you engaged with him. You gave Jisung a safe place to hide when his anxiety was too much, always willing to leave with him and get him the space he needed. 

Surprisingly, Hyunjin called him the next morning, just to tell him the same thing Minho had said: you’re an idiot. Hyunjin always somehow seemed to pick up on Jisung’s feelings, too, but eventually believed him after he denied it enough times. You were Jisung’s best friend: was it really fair for him to love you so much when all you ever saw him as was a friend? 

It wasn’t. So he told Hyunjin to mind his business, causing the short-lived spat that the rest of the group heard about in the vaguest terms. Hyunjin had argued with him about it, saying that pushing you toward Felix was cruel to everyone involved. Jisung knew Felix liked you, though, and now he knew that you liked Felix. If Jisung was the only person to get hurt, he could live with it. Maybe he’d turn it into a song if he really needed to. It took a few days, but Hyunjin finally agreed to keep his mouth shut now that he’d spoken to Felix and confirmed that Felix genuinely did like you as more than a friend. If Jisung knew that you were genuine, then Hyunjin could live with it as long as Jisung took care of himself.

It wasn’t your fault that Jisung had fallen in love with you. He agreed to Hyunjin’s terms, and decided that he could live with the heartbreak if you were happy with Felix. Felix was a good person, always so loving and warm. He would treat you the way you deserved, loving you openly and affectionately. All it would cost Jisung was one heartbreak in exchange for your happiness. 

And for you? He would do it without hesitation.

One month into the semester, Jisung had already done a few things for you. Jisung went out of his way to ensure that you and Felix would sit together when given the chance, casually finding ways to move next to Hyunjin every time. A few weeks later, he’d casually dropped the fact that you were wanting to get into gaming more when the group was together, and you’d been confused until you saw the way Felix lit up at the topic. He’d immediately offered to let you join him and his friends, talking about free MMOs that you could play. All too easily, you managed to make conversation with him, talking about how you lacked experience with stuff like that… but you did have a Stardew Valley farm with Chris that the two of you worked on whenever you both had free time.

“Oh, really?” His eyes had been twinkling, head resting in his hand. “Maybe we could make a farm together.”

All too easily, he’d given you butterflies. “I’d like that,” you said, heart racing ever-so-slightly now. 

“Actually…” He averted his gaze for a moment, his pretty freckled cheeks turning red. “Our show is opening in a few weeks. If you want…” He paused, looking up to realize the others were still there, “I’d, um, I’d like it if all of you could come. I can reserve a couple tickets for opening night, but…”

You’d agreed, already planning to make sure your schedule was clear that day. The group had always planned to come support Felix on one of those nights, guaranteeing that he’d have his own section clapping loudly for him once he was taking his bow… but that quickly turned into something that would happen on a later night. You’d taken Felix up on the offer for an opening night ticket, and managed to convince Jisung to come with you. If Jisung was with you, you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself… and Jisung agreed, saying he’d watch the show twice to come with the others later. You had work the other day, after all: it all worked out in a way, right?

Right. Which was why he was standing in a flower shop with you, looking at premade bouquets. For the past five minutes, you’d been debating between a bouquet of sunflowers and yellow roses, frowning to yourself as you tried to pick which one best suited Felix. Jisung found himself staring at pale pink peonies. He’d looked up flower meanings once when thinking about you. If he was going to confess, he would have bought you a bouquet. Pink peonies meant something like deep appreciation, and he could easily spin it into his appreciation for you as his best friend. Would he ever be able to face you and not feel his heart flutter? Maybe one day he would, if he was lucky.

When he looked at you again, you were still deep in thought. He could hear you mumbling to yourself. Roses were too forward, too strong to be just a ‘friend’ thing—even if you were trying to impress Felix. And sunflowers felt… A little cliche knowing Felix. Everyone gave Felix sunflowers on his birthday if they were going to give him flowers. Jisung looked at the other bouquets, only to find one of yellow tulips. You looked up as he approached you with them in hand, the shyest smile on his face.

“You said you wanted to give Felix something pretty, so…” He held them up. “If roses feel too strong… Then why not these?” The paper crinkled underneath his grasp, and his heart was racing even now. This wasn’t meant to be romantic, so why couldn’t he calm down?

You’d lit up, accepting the bouquet with him. He felt the way your fingers brushed against his own when you accepted them, looking down at them. “Do you think he’ll like them”

“He’ll love anything you give him,” Jisung said, gaze softening. If it was from you, it’d be special. His hands rested over your own for a minute, and you met his gaze after a moment. “Hey… Would I lie to you?”

Other people might have. Some people might have tried to sabotage their best friend’s happiness, but Jisung could never do that to you. Not when you meant so much to him. He loved you too much to do anything that might hurt you, that would destroy your happiness. Even if he didn’t love you, you were still his best friend, and that meant he needed to treat you like one. Best friends didn’t destroy best friends like that.

“No,” you said, drawing the bouquet back. You smiled at it again. “Thanks, Jisung. If you wanna wait outside, you can. I’m gonna see if they can put a little ribbon around it when I pay—make it look cuter, y’know?”

His heart leapt at the idea. Of course you’d be cute like this. He wished that it could be him that you were buying flowers for, but he’d accept getting to see you this happy. “I’ll be waiting.”

The bell above the door jingled as he left the shop, taking a few steps away before leaning against the brick wall. With a sigh, he let his shoulders slump. This shouldn’t hurt so much, but the ache in his chest seemed to show no sign of going away. He could put aside his feelings for you, though, if it meant he could see you smile. The soft look in your eyes when he reassured you only made him feel more complicated inside. You weren’t his to give away, so why did it feel like he was losing a part of himself the more he went along with this plan? In the back of his head, a little voice kept telling him to find an excuse to go back to his apartment. A forgotten assignment that he’d overlooked, or reading he needed to do for class… But that meant abandoning you, even though Felix really wanted you to come see him tonight. Not Jisung. Jisung was coming to see him in a few days, so why bother staying?

Again, the bell chimed, and out you stepped, bouquet in hand. The brown paper that once had been wrapped around the flowers was exchanged for white tissue paper, all bound together with a bright, sparkly gold ribbon. It would fit Felix perfectly, all sunshine-y and pretty, and it was only now that Jisung realized you were wearing blue. Felix’s favorite color. Why hadn’t he noticed that before? If you were in red, then Jisung would have noticed right away, wouldn’t he? His mind wandered for a moment: would you have bought flowers for him if you were coming to see him perform? Hell, would you come alone to see him perform next semester? He had to perform solo as part of his degree plans—would you wait to come with the others, or would you be there every night if you could…? Instead, he just gently reminded you to loosen up your grip on the bouquet before you broke the stems.

“What if he hates them?” Your leg had been bouncing nervously the entire bus ride back to campus. 

Jisung just gently pat your arm. “He won’t,” he said, voice as soft as it was in the flower shop. “It’s Felix. I don’t think he’d ever hate anyone for bringing him a gift. Do you?”

That seemed to get through to you, and the tension in your shoulders eased up considerably. A moment later, you nodded, meeting his gaze. “Right…” And then you leaned against him, completely unaware that his heart was now racing all over again. “Sorry. I’m just… I’m nervous, I guess.” 

Jisung could tell. Everything about you now pointed to this need for tonight to go right. The fact you were not only wearing Felix’s favorite color, but also the way you had dressed up a little nicer, just to make an effort for him. The way you were fretting over the flowers still, even now (Jisung could see the way you  kept looking at them and readjusting your hands, all too conscious now that you might break the stems). He’d have to be ignoring you completely to not see the way your leg had been bouncing before, or the way you kept toying with your sleeve, or the way you kept checking the time even though you both left extremely early to get to the shop. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he said, leaning his head against your own. “You’ll be fine.”

Despite the way he still wanted to go home, Jisung stuck by you the entire time. You needed him there to calm you, the way he depended on you sometimes, and he wouldn’t leave you to flounder. The two of you found seats a few rows back from the stage, settling in for whenever the show would begin. Jisung could see Chris sitting in the front row, beaming with pride at the whole affair. That was the nice thing about Chris: he always made a point of coming back to help wherever he could, including with productions like this. Plus, he was always there to support everyone, especially his friends. Dance showcases, theatrical performances, the art exhibits that Hyunjin’s pieces and Seungmin’s photography ended up in… Chris was there, always happy to congratulate on a job well done. Jisung didn’t need to be sitting next to him to see the way he glowed with pride every time Felix was on stage.

When the show was over, Jisung watched as you gravitated near the door the actors would eventually emerge from. He’d already passed the responsibility of congratulating Felix onto you for now (he’d tell him later) as he searched for where Chris had disappeared to in the crowd. Most likely, he’d disappeared into the back to go talk to the actors. Two years out of school, and Chris never seemed to care about the fact he wasn’t technically a part of the department anymore. Jisung admired his confidence, at least: it always felt like a line he shouldn’t cross, even though Felix always said his friends were welcome. 

He’d decided to take refuge in the bathroom instead, just to calm himself down. Chris would come back out soon when the actors did, meaning Jisung could talk to him then. He’d started to fiddle with little things as he stared at himself in the mirror: fixing a stray hair that never seemed to stay in place, adjusting the collar of his shirt, checking to see how puffy his face was… All little things that he could pick himself apart for if he felt like it, and his mind kept straying to it rather than how happy you seemed to be. He saw how engrossed in Felix’s performance you were. Maybe he should leave to spare himself from seeing this any further. He’d done his part, hadn’t he? You would understand. 

Except he didn’t leave, because Jisung was still your best friend. You wouldn’t abandon him now, so he had to do the same for you. The moment he stepped back into the theater, he saw the way you were beaming at Felix. He’d finally emerged, dressed casually again, and was happily talking to you while holding the bouquet. All he needed to do was look at Felix to know that he was smitten from the way he was smiling at you. Okay. He could deal with this. All he needed to do was find Chris and maybe he could manage.

But all it took was you looking up and waving Jisung over for him to cave, already drawn toward you like a magnet. He couldn’t just leave. Not when you were smiling at him like that. Jisung ended up rattling off some praise for Felix (genuine, because he wouldn’t half-heartedly give him praise just because you liked Felix and not him), and Felix had blushed over it. His gaze fell down to the flowers in his hands, and Felix smiled again.

“Aren’t they sweet?” The tissue paper rustled in Felix’s grasp, and he swayed toward you ever-so-slightly. “They’re so sweet.”

Jisung didn’t say that he was with you when you bought them, that he’d been the one to push them to you. “They have a really good eye for these things,” he said instead. “They fit you perfectly.”

“I know!” Felix looked up, beaming with pure joy. “They’ve never given a bad present before. I don’t really know how they do it.”

Jisung did. You kept a running list in your notes app of things that people said they liked, or things they said they wanted, or things that they needed that you constantly updated. Plus, you made a point to subtly ask about things close to holidays and birthdays, too. All the things you needed to give a good gift that people wanted and would appreciate. The only other person who knew about this was Chris, and that was because he’d caught you editing it. Even if Jisung hadn’t given you the tulips, he knew Felix would have loved the sunflowers or the roses. 

“I think I saw Chris,” Jisung said after a moment of seeing the (admittedly cute) way you and Felix kept glancing at each other. He started to move away, “I’m gonna go say hi.”

“Oh, I can come too!” You were flustered, all too aware of how much of Felix’s time you’d taken for yourself. “I mean, I’m sure Felix is tired of me hogging him, y’know?”

“It’s fine,” Felix said, smiling still. “I like talking to you.”

While his attention was still on you, Jisung made a point to nod toward Felix. Stay right there. He knew you wanted to talk to Felix, after all. You’d relaxed a moment later, planting yourself right where you were as you turned back to Felix. He’d already begun asking you something about an MMO he’d gotten you into, and Jisung turned tail to make his way to Chris. 

Jisung ended up leaving the arts building before you ever did, stepping out into the chilly night air. Chris was there to give you a ride home, after all: you didn’t need to ride the bus to Jisung’s apartment and then back to your own in the way you always insisted on doing. Chris had offered to drive him home, but Jisung waved him off. He needed the alone time to think, and the bus ride that took him home was the perfect time for it. He’d already begun writing lyrics in the notes app on his phone half-way there, and soon enough he’d put them into ink in his songwriting notebook. Just to get those feelings down while the wound was fresh and oozing ink.

You’d texted him that night to say that you were getting lunch with Felix that week. He had other shows most nights, but he’d make time for lunch with you anytime. He’d wondered for a moment until you finally said the magic word: Felix could do ‘evening dates’ with you another time. Yet you still texted him a moment later, asking if Felix meant date dates. All Jisung could say was that it might: he wasn’t Felix. He couldn’t tell you yes.

All he could tell you was that he was genuinely happy for you, even though the emotion never reached him in that moment.

When he woke up the next morning, he’d realized he fell asleep at his desk. His spine was aching at this point, and he realized that there was ink smudged on his hand and his cheek. He’d written down messy, clumsy lyrics that were nowhere near as good as he could make them. Jisung glanced over them again and again. The ink had smudged on the page, which meant he should copy them over to a fresh one after he showered. The melody would come to him while he washed off his regret anyway.

All of it was sloppy in the way a work in progress often was. But he had time to write it better.

A week later, you had curled up on Jisung’s bed while you were waiting for him to finish an assignment. The two of you had plans to go out to dinner, and you always ended up showing up a little too early. It never bothered Jisung, who was currently hard at work on a composition due for class soon. You admired him for a moment as he bobbed his head along to whatever he was working on, lips pressed tightly together in concentration. He’d already told you he wasn’t going to finish it tonight—but he just wanted a little more progress before he went anywhere with you. Which just left you to scroll through YouTube idly, eyeing the videos of ducks that kept popping onto your feed. All it took was one video from Felix for you to fall down this rabbit hole, and you were honestly fine with that. He made you happy.

Absent-mindedly, you started to reach toward Jisung’s desk. He always kept a stack of sticky notes on it, and you were hoping to blindly snag it without bothering Jisung. Yet he glanced up for half a second before pushing the cube over to you, offering a pen out to you without a word. You accepted it, thanking him out loud even though he was still entranced with whatever song he was working on. He hadn’t shared any of this one with you yet, but you weren’t going to push. He would show it to you when he was good and ready, and if he didn’t, then you just assumed it’d be more personal. All you did was roll onto your stomach, leaving your phone next to you as you began to doodle on the sticky notes. Jisung sometimes kept your silly little doodles, sticking them to his monitor before eventually throwing them out. There was still a pink one stuck to the corner of his screen with a little puppy on it, surrounded by little flowers.  You’d started drawing tulips on this new sticky note without thinking, followed by other flowers that you remembered seeing in that shop.

Jisung pulled the headphones off his head, looking over at you. He was wearing glasses again today—a rare sight since he started wearing contacts—and the monitor reflected in them. “Sorry,” he said, watching you doodle for a moment longer. “I’m almost done, I promise.”

“It’s okay,” you didn’t look up, humming to yourself as you kept drawing. “Take your time. I don’t mind waiting.”

(When other people said such things, jisung always felt a little on edge. Did they really mean it, or were they just pacifying him? But when you did it, he never had to doubt you. You always gave him this little reassuring smile. You meant it, and that was something else he loved about you.)

“I mean it,” you said, just like you always did to try and reassure him further. “I’ll be right here when you’re done, okay?”

Sometimes that promise would end in you falling asleep on his bed, always after you had a particularly long or rough day. He never woke you up: he’d just pulled a blanket over you and went to sleep on the couch for the night. He always made it up to you by buying breakfast that following morning. You did the same for him, after all.

Jisung replaced his headphones, but left one side off so he could hear you. A clear sign that he was open to conversation now, less focused on the work at hand. His way of winding down without dropping the project entirely. “How,” he said, and then paused for just a second as he clicked something else, “was lunch with Felix?”

The heat traveled to your face immediately, and you averted your gaze. “It was nice.” 

“Oh?” He swayed a little, turning his chair slightly. “So no wedding yet? I was practicing to be the flower girl, you know.”

You flipped him off, and he snorted. 

“I wouldn’t make a good one?” He faked offense. “I think I’d be cute.” 

“The cutest,” you rolled your eyes, yet still found yourself smiling. “Are you gonna show me the song you’re working on, or is this one another mystery?”

Jisung turned toward his computer again, not quite looking at you anymore. “It’s not ready yet.” 

You looked up at him, the way he sounded a little distant piquing your curiosity. It wasn’t ready yet…? You shrugged it off. What reason would Jisung have to lie to you…? Maybe he didn’t want your opinions this time around. There was nothing wrong with that, to be fair: Chris and Changbin were both better for musical analysis. But he’d always valued your opinions on something that was so important to him, and you always tried to pay attention to his lyricism and compliment him where you could.

Yet you doodled a little rose in the corner of the note. “Okay,” you dragged out the word, rolling onto your side after a moment, just to face him for a second. “If you ever want to show me, I’ll be happy to listen.”

“I’ll let you know if I need you.” A moment later, he met your eyes and smiled—just to reassure you that he was fine.

With said reassurance, you returned to lying on your stomach and doodling. You stuck the sticky note with flowers onto the side of his desk, and started doodling paw prints and hearts onto the new note. “I think we should go out.”

“Huh?!”

Immediately, your heart leapt into your throat. Fuck, that’s not what you meant—why did he have to sound so bothered by it?! Was dating you really such a weird idea…? You just prayed he couldn’t see how flustered you’d become, tugging at the collar of your shirt. When did your skin start burning…? “Felix told me about this nice restaurant and I figured we could go scope it out,” you said quickly. At least this wasn’t a lie or anything: Felix did send you the name of a nice place for a future date.

“Shouldn’t you check it out with him?”

You rolled your eyes. “You know how I am.”

Maybe it was silly, but you had this thing about scoping places out if you knew where someone was taking you. You did the same thing whenever your family was in the area and wanted to check something new out, just so you knew that there was something on the menu that you’d like. If someone else was treating you, you always felt guilty if you didn’t like what they were paying for. Jisung asked you once why you didn’t just look up the menu online and pick from there.

You had looked at him that day. “Jisung. What if they don’t make it good? What if they add extra stuff I don’t like and it’s gross after I ask them to take it off?” You frowned, hugging yourself. “Then I feel bad for wasting my money, or my date’s money, or my parents' money…” 

He hadn’t questioned you on it further and offered to be your test-date if you needed him. He’d never judge your taste, after all. If he was busy, you’d just drag Chris into going wherever with you—always offering to pay for him even though he had the better job out of the two of you. It was nice to go out with Jisung, though. He always seemed to know what you were going to pick off of the menu, the same way you knew his tastes. Speaking of…

“Jisungie?” You smiled at him, ready to sweeten the deal in a way he couldn’t refuse. “I’ll buy you cheesecake after.”

Immediately, you saw the way he pressed his lips together. You knew one of the ways to his heart and it was always through something sweet like cheesecake. A moment later, he melted, smiling as he turned back to save what he was working on. You left the sticky notes on his desk and hopped up, announcing you’d be waiting for him and made your way out. Minho had been curled up on the couch with a book, glancing up when you came in.

“Jisung and I are going to get dinner. Are you coming?”

Minho glanced over to where Jisung had emerged from his room, then shook his head. “I already ate.” 

Whatever. The two of you would have fun on your own, then. Through the power of digital maps and following directions, you and Jisung managed to find the place easily enough. The two of you ended up seated in the corner, ordering quickly enough before you were left alone. With a sigh, you’d begun to swirl your straw in your drink, mind wandering a bit. Your date with Felix had been nice, but you always felt so fluttery with him. Being around Jisung was… easier. You didn’t feel the need to force any conversation with him, the two of you were content to have a minute of quiet if that was what you both needed. It was a weird change to feel around him, to be honest. In the past, being around Felix was always easy. Now that you knew he liked you back…  It was different. You couldn’t help but wonder if things would be different if Jisung liked you back, if this were a date. Then you pushed the thought away: you needed to stop thinking things like that. 

“What’s on your mind?” Jisung had peeked up at you from where he was scrolling through social media on his phone, frowning a little.

With a sigh, you knew he’d pick up on your mood. “I feel like I’m gonna turn into one of those people who only talks about dating.” You fiddled with the sleeve of your sweater—your favorite color this time. “But…”

“I’m listening,” he said. “Is everything okay?”

Why did he have to look at you so earnestly? Jisung had the prettiest eyes, especially when they looked so shiny—like boba pearls, someone once said. You nodded a moment later. “Just… I dunno. I like Felix, but I keep getting nervous with him.” You tapped your toes against the floor, a little restless already. “I mean… I know he likes me, but… I dunno. We haven’t kissed or anything.”

“Has he said anything?” Jisung ran a hand through his hair, fluffing it effortlessly. How the hell did he always do that…? “What are you two doing next?”

“We were gonna see a movie and then get food here,” you paused, looking up from where you’d started staring at your hands. “And maybe dessert, if he’s interested.” 

“Was it your idea or his?”

“His, but—”

“Then I think you’re overthinking it,” Jisung said gently. “I think…” He trailed off for a moment, and then cleared his throat. “I think he likes you because you’re you. And… And, um,” he glanced down for just a second, “and if anyone doesn’t like you, then… I don’t think they deserve you.” 

Your heart skipped a beat. How was he so sweet? He seemed so nervous now, the way he always seemed to get when he was a little more sentimental with you. Like he was treading lightly, so as to not say the wrong thing. You’d told him once that there was nothing he could say that would upset you, and so far that still rang true. You had your fair share of disagreements over the years, but Jisung was your best friend. If you had soulmates in this life, then Jisung was one of them. “Jisung…”

He just silently watched you for a moment, gauging your reaction as he carefully tried to find any signs that he’d slipped up. 

You just buried your face in your hands a moment late, skin burning hot already. He’d melted your heart all too easily, dooming you to pine for him forever. No matter how far you went from him, no matter if you moved on, Jisung eternally had a piece of your heart and he didn’t even know it. Finally, you found the strength to speak, voice small: “I don’t deserve you.”

Your date with Felix was going well. The movie was fun, and dinner went great (especially going in knowing that you already liked some of the menu). He’d been gushing about video games and the movie, and now he was talking about a new recipe he was workshopping. His fingers were intertwined with yours as you walked aimlessly, no plan in place for where you were going next. You liked how warm Felix’s hands were, and the way he would run his thumb over your hand—just a tender little way of showing he was still there with you. 

“Maybe… I could bake with you sometime?” You squeezed his hand a little. “If you want an assistant.”

He lit up at the suggestion, already beaming again with joy. “I’d love that! I could teach you whatever you don’t know.” He paused, cheeks flushing red. “I think… you’d be a cute assistant, too.”

Your heart leapt into your throat at that, face growing warmer at the thought. Felix was always so cute, so affectionate, and the way he giggled at your flustered face only made you more embarrassed. Yet your mind had started to drift to the walk you’d taken with Jisung after dinner that night, heading toward your usual place for dessert….

Only to be jostled from your thoughts as Felix’s shoulder bumped against yours, getting your attention back with ease. “You okay?” He paused, and then smiled as he squeezed your hand. “You wanna get ice cream?”

Ice cream sounded perfect. You’d been wanting to bring up dessert, but you weren’t sure if he had room for it after dinner and splitting popcorn with you earlier. Then your mind turned to the brownies you’d had with Jisung… “Actually… There’s this place I go sometimes—”

“With Jisung?” Felix asked. He didn’t seem jealous or bothered in the slightest. “I’ve actually been wanting to go there with you.”

You slowed to a stop. “You have?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but… I dunno. I guess I started thinking I was overstepping since that place was always you and Jisung. You guys always take us somewhere else if we’re all going, so…”

What?

Felix shrugged, and started walking again. You fell into step with him. He continued on after a moment, “You two are really close. I mean… I’ve been places with my friends that I haven’t gone with you all, y’know? Maybe we keep stuff for our friends sometimes.”

The shop had always been a place for you and Jisung, sure, but neither of you ever intended for it to be exclusively for you two. Minho had gone with the two of you once or twice, and so had Chris. Now that you were thinking about it, this place wasn’t even the place you two used to frequent. That place closed down a little over a year ago, and you’d found this place shortly after that. The two of you had gotten a to-go order that first time to try in his apartment and fell in love with the dessert there. 

“It’s not our place,” you said after a moment. “If you want ice cream, we can get ice cream instead. I just started thinking about their brownies—”

Felix was already intrigued. “Do you wanna go?” He squeezed your hand a little, giddy at the idea. “We can split one, if you want?”

Perfect. “I’d love that,” you giggled. “They’re huge and they put a scoop of vanilla on top and drizzle it with caramel—you’ll love it.”

And he did: he fed you the first bite, just to be cheesy. His eyes always seemed to twinkle when he looked at you, so thoroughly endeared to you day after day. He’d hummed in bliss at his own first bite of the dessert before talking about how the salted caramel complimented the sweetness of the vanilla ice cream and the slight bitterness of whatever dark chocolate was in the brownie. It all came together beautifully, and all you could do was admire how pretty Felix was. He’d held your hand again after the two of you left, and held on tight for the entire walk home. 

“May I…?”

You turned your cheek to him, and he pressed a kiss against it. His lips were soft against your cheek, lingering there for a few extra seconds before he drew away. He’d already started talking about planning your next date soon, leaving it there. He took a few steps back, waiting until you unlocked the door to your apartment before he waved and made his way in the opposite direction. You retreated into your apartment with the sappiest smile on your face, already on cloud nine. In the sanctuary of your apartment, you buried your face in your hands, trying to ignore how heavily your heart was thumping in your ears.

“Someone had a good time.”

Chris had stood near the entryway, two glasses in his hands. He must have been on his way back to the living room, and you waved him on as you slipped out of your shoes and into your house slippers. Right as you were ready to tell Chris a little about how your date had gone, you spotted Changbin on the couch. With a polite way, you decided to hold off. Chris could wait to hear things tomorrow, and you told him that as you made your way toward your room.

“Did he walk you back?” Chris called out, and you hung back long enough to nod. “You could have invited him in for a minute—”

“Oh, fuck no.” You loved Chris, and maybe it would have been polite, but he had too much dirt on you. The fact you’d managed to be friends with everyone this long without having all your embarrassing stories spilled was a miracle in itself. “I love you, but I don’t need you to embarrass both of us, Chris.”

Chris only burst into giggles, knowing that you were right and that Felix would have agreed with you in a heartbeat. “I wouldn’t do it too bad!”

Big brother energy. Big bother energy, too. You opened your bedroom door. “You absolutely would,” you called back. “Love you!”

Yet it was right as you were closing the door that you heard Changbin speak up, clearly not intending for you to hear: “I thought they were…” Then a pause, just for a second. “... What about Jisung?”

You shut your bedroom door as quietly as you could, praying that no one noticed you’d caught that. You pressed your back against it for a minute, wondering where you had slipped up. Were you that obvious? Did everyone but Jisung know that you liked him and he didn’t like you back? No. No, no one else could know, right? If they knew, they would have said something by now—especially with the fact that you and Felix weren’t hiding the fact you were dating. Speaking of…

You texted him to get home safe, tacking on a yellow heart after it. He attached a little heart to the message soon enough, and you smiled to yourself. He’d text you when he got home, the way he usually did. All you could do now was start getting ready for bed as you let your mind drift back to what Changbin had been saying. If Changbin knew, then there was no telling if he’d accidentally spill it. What if Jisung found out…? He’d look at you differently, wouldn’t he? Especially since you’d asked him to help you get with Felix. What if he connected the dots and figured out that you were dating Felix because you were trying to move on? What if Felix found out and he hated you for it…? A world in which Jisung and Felix hated you was one you didn’t want to live in, and your heart began to race at the thought. Shit. What if…? You wanted to reach for your phone, to call Jisung. But Jisung would ask some questions to help you calm down, and you weren’t sure if you could be vague enough to keep him from finding out. 

Instead, you threw yourself into doing research for an essay. The less you thought about it all, the better off you’d be. The only thing that pulled you out of your thoughts was the text that popped up over an hour later from Felix. He’d sent you a picture of himself with a face mask on, dressed and ready for bed, and apologizing that he didn’t text you sooner. It was followed up with a “sleep well 💙we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?” that left you smiling.

Felix was cute. He was sweet. He liked you, and you liked him. All you needed to do was push past your feelings for Jisung, and things would work out. Letting go was the hardest part of loving someone who wouldn’t love you back, and you needed to learn how to do it.

Maybe Felix could help you learn how to do that by loving you extra loud.

“You’re both slacking, you know!”

Jisung looked up at the sound of your voice carrying across the apartment. Barely milliseconds later, he heard Minho groan at you for pointing out the fact the apartment was a little unkempt. Fuck, you were here sooner than he thought—he’d seen your text over half an hour saying you were coming, but you were ‘taking your time’ for whatever reason. You’d given him a time, and even still he was surprised by how soon you’d showed up.

“I told you to text before you come!”

You’d stopped for a minute to turn to huff at him. “I did!” 

“Text me, not just Jisung.” There was no venom in his words, purely Minho ribbing you, but Jisung jolted from his chair. Shit, his room was a mess still. Minho had to know, didn’t he? This was him giving him a chance to tidy before you came in. “He’s been in his room all day, by the way.”

“What?” You hadn’t moved. “Really? Is he behind, or…?”

Yes, keep distracting them, Jisung shoved trash into the small trash can next to his desk—all wrappers from snacks. The sticky notes from his monitor were neatly hidden away in the bottom drawer with all the others you’d left him. Minho was rattling something off about how he knew Jisung had been hard at work, although he’d barely checked on him since he seemed to be focused. He’d tie up the bag and take it out of his room later, after you left. He made up his bed as you asked something about one of Jisung’s classes, to which Minho said a curt “I don’t know, I’m not his mom,” which earned ribbing from you considering how Minho acted like a mom at times. A second later, your voice was a little louder, having stepped closer to his room.

He threw himself back into his chair, pulled his headphones on, and pretended to be hard at work. Don’t notice the fact he’s still panting a little—he was just… running. A marathon. Really. He heard your quick knock, followed by the creak of his bedroom door a moment later. When you waved your hand in front of his face, he pretended to jolt back, pushing his headphones around his neck as he looked up at you.

With a smile, you held up the takeout. “How much do you love me?”

More than you knew. No wonder you told him you weren’t sure you’d be there on time. He accepted the bag, already working to undo the knot. “I don’t deserve you.”

You pulled over the spare chair, pulling it over to his desk. “Minho said you’ve been busy all day. Everything okay?”

He nodded. “Just working on that paper on music history,” he set aside the plastic-wrapped utensils. “It’s due in a few days, but I’m behind on it, so…”

You frowned a little. “Okay, but… Have you eaten today?” When he didn’t move, you’d been given your answer. “Aw, Jisungie…”

“I’ve snacked?”

“That’s not the same thing,” you leaned against his desk. “I guess I came at a good time, then.” 

He nodded, pulling the knot undone. He set your food aside. “I think Minho tried to check on me earlier. I don’t really remember.”

It wouldn’t be the first time, and both of you knew that. “Are you gonna share this time?”

He let out a groan. One time he ate all the steamed dumplings, and you’ve never let him live it down. “I always share,” he said, setting the container where both of you could reach it. “Take however many you want.”

“Not those,” you said, before pausing for a moment. “Well, yes those, but…” You pointed your chopsticks toward his computer. “Any of your work. I feel like I haven’t heard any of it this semester.” 

“You’re usually with Felix,” he said, voice a little quieter. “I mean… You two are usually going out and doing things, you know?” He hoped you understood him: you couldn’t be around to hear things when you were out with him. 

“Not the entire semester,” you frowned again. Then you sighed, balancing your food in your lap. “But you’re right.” Then you paused, brows drawing together. “Wait… Am I spending too much time with Felix?”

Jisung shook his head quickly. “No! No, you two are fine—I just meant—”

You reached out, squeezing his shoulder, “No, Jisung. I’m sorry.”

The way you sounded so genuinely upset only broke his heart a little. He didn’t mean to imply you shouldn’t be spending time with Felix—the two of you were dating after all. “Don’t feel bad about Felix—”

You stopped him there again. “No, I mean… I know we’re dating, but that’s no excuse to ignore you. I don’t want to be the kind of person who dumps their friends entirely, all just because I’m seeing someone. That’s not fair to you.”

His face grew warmer. Had you thought about this before…? You’d always been so conscious of your friendships when dating in the past. Sure, you spent more time with past partners, but he’d never felt neglected. No one did. “You aren’t dumping any of us. It’s okay.”

Yet that didn’t seem to stop you. “We should go out this weekend,” you said. “Like we usually do. I have to work Saturday morning, but my evening is yours.” 

His? Jisung ignored the way his heart skipped a beat at that. It didn’t mean anything. “But what about Felix?”

You pressed your lips together. “If he doesn’t understand ‘best friend time,’ then he’s not the one.” You shrugged. “My partner shouldn't stop me from hanging out with friends. I’m never going to date anyone like that. I wouldn’t want anyone to put their life on pause entirely for me, you know?”

Jisung had always loved that about you. You loved your friends wholeheartedly, and you were always so, so loyal to them. In your past relationships, you’d always found time for friends. They understood whenever you prioritized the relationship during that initial phase, sure, but it always just felt… wrong to drop them entirely during that period. You needed to balance your time, after all.

Jisung swallowed his own pain. “How are you two?”

“You don’t want to hear about us.”

“I do,” he insisted. “You don’t have to share anything, but… You’re both still my friends. Jeongin said he saw you two on a date.”

You fumbled with your chopsticks, immediately growing flustered. “Oh my god. Felix kept telling me that he was positive it wasn’t him—I knew it was! Holy shit—”

“He didn’t say anything bad!” Jisung panicked a little, carefully removing your food from your lap before it could get spilled in your movement. He moved his chair over, giving you some of his desk space so you wouldn’t have to use your lap as a table anymore. “All he said was that you two were holding hands and giggling. He said it was sweet.”

You refused to look at Jisung, still too embarrassed to do anything more than push your food around its plate. “He’s… really sweet,” you admitted after a moment. “I dunno how I feel, honestly, and I kinda feel bad about that. He’s nice to talk to, and he’s sweet, but… I dunno. I keep getting worried that I’m leading him on if I’m not all-in already.” Your knee bumped against Jisung’s. “You changed the subject, by the way.” 

Shit, you caught him. Jisung just moved the dumplings between the two of you again, trying to distract you. When you gave him a pointed look, he knew you weren’t going to drop it yet. With a sigh, he shrugged. “I’ll show you after I finish one. They aren’t good yet.” 

“Bullshit,” you said. “Your works’ always good. Even when it’s a work in progress—I can always tell that you love what you’re doing. I love how devoted you are to it… and to us, y’know.” 

Now it was his turn to be embarrassed, always so easily flustered. How did complimenting him come so easily to you? 

“You don’t have to share it if you aren’t ready or if you don’t want to,” you said after a moment. “You can tell me that, though. I’ll stop asking.”

Jisung looked up, nodding. “Later,” he promised, running a hand through his hair nervously. “When I’m ready.”

You giggled, squeezing his knee. “That’s all I needed to know,” you said. “I’ll be here for you when you want to share, alright?”

Tell them. The little voice in the back of Jisung’s mind was nagging him again, and all he could do was admire how giddy you were getting over dumplings. He loved how you found joy in little things like this, too. Tell them so they can break your heart and get it over with.

Then something clicked in his mind, something he’d glazed over entirely. “You… might not like Felix?”

You avoided his gaze, as though you were ashamed. There was nothing wrong with not being sure of your feelings, and yet you’d shrunk before him, unsure. “I don’t know. I… I like him, but I’m not sure how far it goes.”

“You should figure it out soon,” he said softly. Regardless of his own feelings for you, Felix was his friend. You clearly were, too. It was unfair if you stopped feeling things and kept seeing him. “Felix is a really good person. If you want to date him, you should be up front about it. He won’t hold it against you if you don’t feel the same, you know? Do what will make you happy.” 

You looked up from your food a moment later, a soft look in his eyes. He’d seen you and accepted you without any harsh judgment. Someone else might have told you off for being unsure, but not Jisung. Never Jisung. Feelings were complicated, after all. If you weren’t sure, then you weren’t sure. All you needed was time to figure it out. You wouldn’t drag things out to hurt Felix. You turned, leaning over the side of your chair to wrap your arms around him. He relaxed into your embrace, reaching up a hand to squeeze your arm.

“I’m really glad you’re in my life, Jisung.” You shut your eyes, squeezing him extra tight for a second. “I really, really love you, y’know?”

Why did that feel like a confession? His heart was racing, and he just squeezed you gently. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he savored this moment. “Yeah,” he said, praying that you didn’t notice how warm his face was getting, or hear how fast his heart was racing. “Love you, too.”

A moment later, you drew away, hands lingering on his arm for a moment too long. Then you were hit with realization. “Oh!” You drew away from him, “I forgot to get us drinks.” The wheels noisily rolled against the floor as you stood up. “I’ll go see what’s in the fridge, alright?”

Before he could offer to go, you were gone. Jisung watched the door shut behind you, and let out a long sigh as he relaxed into his chair. How long would it take for him to get past this? Every little moment like this with you only made his feelings burrow deeper into his chest. It felt as though he’d hit bedrock and somehow managed to keep digging. Something squeezed in his chest, and he felt as though he was going to suffocate in that moment. 

Jisung loved you too much, and now it was starting to hurt even more.

Felix was… Felix. He’d been kind to you from the first day you met him. He was sweet. Sometimes insecure, but most people were, weren’t they? He was warmer than sunshine, though, and you had always felt like you were on top of the world when you were with him. He had that ability to just spread joy in other people, that pretty smile enough to give anyone butterflies—especially when you heard his laugh afterward. He’d always drifted toward others, always ready to give a warm hug when someone needed it (or even just wanted it). Felix was sunshine in human form…

So what changed? He was smiling that cute, smitten smile that he always seemed to have when he was around you. He played with your fingers, talking about his day and asking you about your own. The two of you hadn’t been going out that long, yet those weeks seemed to shift subtly more and more until you were where you were now. The time he first kissed your cheek felt so distant now. He still liked to press little kisses against your cheek, and you often did the same to him, too. So what was wrong with you? His giggle still made your heart flutter, and the cute face he made when he got flustered was still adorable, but…

Chris had paused the movie the two of you were watching one weekend, opting to study you for a moment. You’d been scrolling through your social media feeds, too bored with the stilted leads. They were reciting shitty dialogue written by someone who clearly didn’t know what love was. Then again… What was love like?

“Hey. Can we talk?” 

You looked up, confused. When did Chris get so serious…? “What’s wrong?”

“I love you, but…” He let out a sigh. “I just wanted to say that I think you should cut things off with Felix if you aren’t interested.”

What? You never said you weren’t interested. Felix was sweet, and nice, and you felt great when you were around him still. “What?”

“I don’t know—Whenever I look at the two of you now, it looks like you’re always thinking about something.” Chris paused for a moment, and then frowned at you. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I’m still here for you. I just don’t want you and Felix to get hurt.” 

You hugged yourself. “I know, I just…”

“Just… Figure it out, yeah?” Chris let out a sigh. “I love you so, so much. And I love Felix, too. When you said you were interested in him, I was really excited for you both, yeah? But, I don’t know, I can’t shake this weird feeling now.” He paused for a moment, eyes searching your own now. “I didn’t push you into this, did I?”

“No! No,” you shook your head, “you didn’t. I was crushing on him for a while.” You drew your knees a little closer to you, shifting into a more comfortable position. “I… I don’t know.” 

Maybe you should kiss him. Just to see how it felt. 

“I guess…” You trailed off for a moment, hugging your blanket closer to you. “I guess I’m just not sure about anything anymore. I like hanging out with him. And… I like him. I just don’t know how I feel anymore.”

Chris frowned as he watched you. He understood, though: feelings were always complicated in some way, weren’t they? “You should tell him soon once you figure it out.” The way he was being so insistent on it meant someone talked to him. Was it Felix…? Had Felix confided in him? He sat up, reaching for the near-empty bowl of popcorn. He dropped the remote into your lap. “I’m gonna make more popcorn. Find something actually good to watch, yeah?”

“This was your pick, you know.” 

He just rustled your hair before moving on. With a new movie picked out, Chris settled into the space next to you rather than his usual spot. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side as he pressed a kiss onto the top of your head. He’d always given you little kisses like that when you were upset, and the habit never really died. It comforted you even now, reminding you of simpler times. He’d cared for you once when you were a child, rushing to your side when you skinned his knee. Admittedly it was because you’d been chasing after him, but he’d cared for you the same way he did for his siblings. He bandaged your knee, kissing it better the way his parents always did before kissing your forehead. His parents told him that it helped it heal faster. And, sure, the two of you had been dumb kids then, but the kisses now always reminded you that you weren’t going through things alone. Chris was always right there with you, the older brother you never had. 

It was sweet. At least you would always have Chris in your corner, right next to Jisung.

Felix kissed you.

The two of you had walked home from dinner that night with your pinkies linked together. You’d grown quieter with each step, listening to Felix as he filled the space with soft conversation until it, too, was drowned in the sounds of the night. The sound of cars driving past, the chirp of crickets, the wind as it kissed your skin. But Felix was right there with you, still tethered to you by your pinkies. Even now, he looked at you so sweetly whenever he caught your eye. He’d fixed your jacket, or brushed a stray strand of hair back from your face. When you were finally back in front of your apartment, he’d asked if he could kiss you. You said yes, and he closed that distance between you. All at once, you knew: Felix wasn’t it.

Maybe there would never be anyone like Jisung for you. But you couldn’t be upset about that. It wasn’t his fault you fell for him somewhere along the way. And now you were standing in front of your apartment, an eternity seeming to pass as Felix kissed you gently. His lips were slightly chapped this time, fingers gently holding your face. One of the neighbors must have opened their door and seen from the way it opened and immediately shut. 

A moment later, Felix pulled away since you never actually reciprocated. The hurt in his eyes told you everything: he knew. His hands were still holding your face, thumbs running over the apples of your cheeks. Shit. Fuck, you’d hurt him, all while you were hurting, too. Yet you saw the way he tried to fight back tears, blinking quickly as he took in a shaky breath.

When he spoke, his voice was strained. “This… wasn’t ever going somewhere, was it?”

Even after you’d hurt him, he was still so gentle with you. You wished he were angry with you, or upset, or anything other than the man who was forcing a smile in front of you now. If he yelled at you or started crying, then you could apologize. You could try to fix things. All he did was keep that forced smile as he drew his hands back, letting them fall to his sides again. With the tiniest step back, your worlds seemed to break apart. Why couldn’t he just  yell at you? You’d hurt him, and he just… He looked at you like he still thought the world of you.

“That’s okay.” His voice was so much quieter. It was as though his sunlight had been snuffed out. “I had fun.”

“Felix—”

“I mean it,” he said, taking another small step back. “I… I really hope this doesn’t hurt our friendship. I still like talking to you, and—and I like being your friend. And you’re kind-of good at games, so we could, um—we could still use yours if you wanted to play with us, and…”

He was rambling. All you could do was step forward, pulling him into your arms to hug him tight. All too easily, he crumpled into your embrace, holding you tight. 

“I’m sorry, Felix.” You hoped he would forgive you someday. Not today. Not too soon, not too easily. You didn’t deserve that. “I should have known sooner.”

He shut his eyes for a moment, taking in another shaky breath before pulling away from you. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.” He paused. “You should head in. I’m sure Chris is worried. I’ll probably get a text from him on my way home. You know how he is—he always worries, and, um, he… worries a lot about if I’m getting home safe, and…”

You punched in your apartment’s code, stepping back into the doorway. You turned to face Felix one last time, heart breaking in your chest. He forced one more smile as he looked at you.

“Goodnight,” he said, voice soft as ever.

You swallowed hard. “Goodnight, Felix. Get home safely.”

And then you shut the door, securing the door as you pressed your forehead against it. You waited, hoping that Felix had taken off as soon as the door was shut before you slammed your fist into it. Chris was out. You hadn’t seen his shoes when you stepped in, his house slippers left in their usual spot. All too quickly, you kicked your shoes off, heading toward your room as you started to strip off your clothes. You just wanted to be in your pajamas, curled up in bed. The heartbreak wasn’t what was hurting you more: it was knowing you’d hurt Felix, and he was going to go home, and he was going to cry because Felix was someone everyone treated with care. He wasn’t fragile, but he was gentler. A softer person. There was a reason why Minho joked with him differently, after all. 

At least you were alone now. Chris would have asked questions. Everyone would have, except… You’d picked up your phone, opening it up to Jisung’s contact. Jisung wouldn’t ask questions. Jisung would hold you and let you cry. But he was Felix’s friend first. 

All you could do now was send a final text to Felix to get home safely. A little heart popped up next to the message, a sign that he saw it, and you shut your phone off afterward. You dragged yourself to bed, chest heavy and hurting as you pulled your blankets around yourself. Why couldn’t things just be different?

Why couldn’t you just turn your feelings off?

Jisung didn’t speak to you all week. 

This wasn’t him getting busy with schoolwork and shutting everyone out to work. Jisung did that with warning to everyone, just so no one worried about him. That was the rule for all of you. Life could be hectic, but no one was to completely shut everyone out without at least some sort of heads up so no one worried too much. Jisung had always been clear with telling you when he needed his space so that you could check in with him occasionally. The one person you needed most right now wasn’t responding to your texts, and that terrified you. He was pissed at you. He had to be, right? You had hurt Felix, and Jisung decided to side with the person he’d known longer. Messaging Minho yielded no answer, too. You had expected Felix to avoid you the way he was now, but even he had been more cordial to you. Sure, he was quieter, but that, again, was something you had expected. He apparently came by one day to see Chris, and you had never known until Chris offhandedly mentioned it.

You had to figure things out, which meant asking everyone separately. Chris had claimed he didn’t know anything about what was wrong with Jisung. He never acted any differently when they interacted, although it was a little more rare nowadays. Minho only responded to tell you that Jisung needed space, but that he wasn’t sure what had happened. Felix had messaged you back to first accept your apology for bothering him and then tell you that he wasn’t sure what happened. No one did. Jeongin seemed clueless that anything had happened, Changbin said he’d see what he could find out (only to come up fruitless in that attempt), and Seungmin had been buried in his own schoolwork. If anyone had known something, it would have been Minho.

Which… admittedly was why you decided to wait outside the dance studio he worked at. He was teaching kids dance now, and it paid well enough that he could support himself. Plus he seemed happy, always getting along well with the kids according to Felix and Hyunjin when they volunteered to help a few times. You knew that he locked up in the evenings because he was the last person out, always taking an hour to himself to practice his own dancing. You listened to the jingle of keys and the loud click of the door, followed by Minho making his way down the steps. He noticed you all too easily, and slowed to a stop.

He shook his head, pocketing his keys. “I’m not telling you anything,” he said, as though he’d been expecting you to track him down. Maybe he did. Minho could have his airheaded moments the way you had your own, but he wasn’t stupid. “How long have you been waiting?”

“Maybe half an hour.” You crossed your arms, shivering a little in the cold. Maybe longer, actually. “I just want to know what’s going on with Jisung. I’m worried, Minho—he hasn’t said anything to me.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “He’s just going through a few things.” He stepped down off that final step, making his way toward home. He turned, speaking to you again, “He’s not ready to talk to you, so give him space for now. He’ll talk to you when he’s ready.” Then he turned away again, continuing his walk away.

That wasn’t enough for you. You hurried to catch up to him, “Minho!” You fell into step next to him. “Why can’t he just tell me that? That’s all I needed to hear from him. He knows he can tell me things, I just—”

Minho stopped suddenly, turning to face you. He reached up, hands resting on your shoulders. “When he’s ready, he’ll tell you. Don’t worry about him,” his fingers dug into your shoulders for a quick squeeze, “I’m taking care of him. Just wait for him.” 

Before you could question him further, Minho let go of you. All you could do was stand there, stewing in your thoughts. Minho knew, then. What he knew exactly, you weren’t sure, but he at least knew what was wrong with Jisung. You drew your phone back out of your pocket, opening it to your unanswered messages to Jisung. Maybe you shouldn’t have,  but you needed to say at least one last thing before you stopped trying to contact him. Just to he knew that you were still on his side:

I’m here if you need me, Jisung. Please take care. Love you.

And by the time you were home, he had reacted with a heart. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to tell you he’d seen your messages. 

At least he’d given you that.

Jisung still wasn’t speaking to you another week later.

He knew about Felix. How could he not know about Felix? He knew that you had ended things with him. He knew that Hyunjin was beyond pissed at you, and he knew you’d eventually figure that out. Jisung had spilled his feelings to Hyunjin when he pushed again. That he had loved you for so long now that he couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t love you. Hyunjin, to his credit,  had quietly listened to Jisung as he told him everything. Then when he was done, he scowled to himself.

“They hurt Felix,” he had said. “Because they love you.”

Jisung shook his head. “You don’t have to say things like that. I know they don’t—”

“No, they do, and you need to realize that.” Hyunjin crumpled the paper cup of coffee, getting up to throw it into the trash. “That’s why they turned Felix down.”

What the hell—Did you say something to Hynjin? “Did they tell you?”

“No.” He crossed his arms. “But I know. It’s a gut feeling. I always thought you were lying to me, but…” He let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. “You deserve better than them, Jisung.”

Immediately, he was taken aback. “What?”

“They fucked with Felix’s feelings,” he said, “and I think that’s fucked up. I don’t care that they have feelings for you—they should have left Felix out of it. Why would they do this to him?”

“They liked him,” Jisung said, already quick to defend you. He was hurting, yes, but he wasn’t going to just let Hyunjin insult you like this. You weren’t some cruel person—you had genuinely liked Felix. What, were you supposed to keep dating Felix when it turned out you didn’t feel the same way? “They wouldn’t have dated him if they didn’t.”

“Did they?” He balled his hands into fists. “Or were they just trying to get over you?”

“They wouldn’t have hurt him on purpose!” Jisung hated how he teared up now. He was angry, he wanted to defend you, and yet the stress of fighting back now was already getting to him. “They were figuring out how they felt—they’re not a bad person for figuring out that they don’t like him like that.”

“I mean it,” Hyunjin said. “You deserve better. Felix does, too.”

Jisung didn’t know what else to say. Nothing he could say would change Hyunjin’s mind, would it? He was pissed at you, and nothing Jisung could say on your behalf would do anything. Only you could change his mind. 

“I’m still here for you,” Hyunjin said, voice a little softer than before. “I know it’s hard. I’m sorry, Jisung.”

Of course he was still there for him. Everyone would be—including Felix, if he knew. He saw a picture pop up a few days later of Felix out with Hyunjin and Changbin, smiling genuinely at the camera. He’d heard about how badly Felix had been hurting those first few days–. Changbin said he’d been crying for so long that night, genuinely heartbroken by how everything had gone down. Not that Changbin was upset with you at all: relationships sometimes just didn’t work out. It sucked that Felix was hurt, but everyone (excluding Hyunjin, who’s loyalty to Felix admittedly blinded him to anything you were going through) understood that the situation was complicated. It had to be, right? The two of you seemed to fit together so well…

Jisung shut his eyes, listening as he reworked this part in his song about you for maybe the millionth time now. The lyrics weren’t completely right, not flowing the way he wanted them to. But he’d never been able to get them right every time he tried to rewrite them, and it was too personal a project to ask for a second opinion on. He’d stopped working on it to console Felix at one point, only for him to ask point black if Jisung actually did like you. He denied it. the same way he always did and always would, and Felix didn’t push. Jisung couldn’t like you now. Not when it would hurt someone, and especially when it would hurt someone like Felix. Denying his feelings hurt, but pursuing you just felt selfish.

Suddenly, his headphones were pulled off his ears, and Minho stood next to him. He glanced at the screen and already recognized it to be the piece that Jisung had been working on constantly when he wasn’t working on schoolwork, and sighed. Jisung watched as Minho wordlessly made his way over to his closet, opening the doors and searching through his shirts. He yanked one off, throwing it at Jisung, who scrambled to catch it.

“Get dressed,” Minho said before Jisung could question him. “Chris is on his way.”

Jisung furrowed his brows. Chris was…? He looked down at the clean white t-shirt in his hands. “Did something happen?”

“We’re all going out,” he said, searching for a clean pair of jeans. He threw those at him, too, and then turned. “You’ve barely left the apartment outside of work and class. We’re going to sing your feelings out. Bottling them up won’t help you.”

Jisung only stared at him. Writing a song about you was the opposite of bottling it up… right? “I’m not—”

“You don’t have to tell us everything,” he made his way over, giving Jisung a gentle pat on the head. “But you can depend on us. We’re here for you.”

Jisung looked down at the clothing Minho had oh-so-lovingly thrown in his face, and nodded. He left his headphones on his desk, moving to change once Minho had left him alone. Soon enough, he had changed, and even sooner after that, Chris had shown up. If you were upset, Chris hadn’t said a word about it. He just threw an arm around Jisung, already bragging about how he’d have the highest score tonight if Jisung didn’t bring his game. It was almost nice to act as though nothing was wrong, even though Jisung saw the concerned looks Chris kept taking. 

He’d run his fingers over the smooth seats in the karaoke room, listening as Chris put in an order for drinks and snacks. All of this was his treat, he’d insisted over and over. This was entirely his idea, apparently (an idea Minho didn’t refute at all). Jisung kept glancing at the door, wondering if this was some plan they’d concocted to make the two of you talk. 

“Jisung, you should sing first,” Minho said, prodding his side to get his attention. 

Jisung looked to his two friends, who began to chant his name to motivate him further. This wasn’t a trap to make the two of you talk, then. The tension eased off of him. They wouldn’t do that to him—not like this, at least. He waved his hands, though. “No—It’s fine! One of you can go first.”

Chris stood up and began to cycle through the songs, humming to himself before stumbling across one. “Jisungie,” he cooed, “will you sing with me?”

Of course Chris had found a duet. It was from two members of a popular boy group, and Jisung had… admittedly listened to it more than a few times over the past two weeks. The song was about heartbreak to the point of begging the listener to say yes, to sing this song with them again, to let them stay again. It was easier to sing alongside Chris than to sing along, to share his pain through another song he’d had on repeat. 

And it became healing to belt out a ballad with his friends until his throat ached. To break down crying afterwards and be held by them as he sobbed. Something inside of him had finally broken down in the way it needed to. When replacing his battery once, the guy behind the counter told Jisung that it was okay to let his phone die sometimes, because even it needed rest. He didn’t know enough to know if this was sound advice, but he had always kept the advice in mind at least. Was that what this was? Had his own battery finally run out and this was his way of resting rather than tirelessly pushing forward, recharge after recharge? He’d leaned into Minho’s side, sobbing into his sleeve while Chris rubbed circles onto his back. 

By the time they left after buying another hour, Jisung felt lighter. He would always carry this heartbreak for you within him, yearning for something he needed to let go of to be better. But more importantly, things finally seemed clearer to him. He knew how to fix his song, lyrics perfected in the back of his mind. He typed them out into his notes app while sitting in the back of Chris’s car, just so he wouldn’t lose them. The melody came to him easier—something he’d need to change a little to be just right—and he tapped it out onto his jean-clad leg. The moment he was home, he would put it down onto paper. 

And when he finished his song, he could finally let go. Jisung promised himself that he would, and when he did that, he could finally let you back in if you would have him.

Almost three weeks without Jisung, and you felt like you were holding yourself together with thread. At first, you’d been angry once Minho told you to just wait for Jisung. If it was this serious, then Jisung should have told you himself that he needed space. A lot of space, apparently. Then came worry,  because had you done something to upset him? Was that why he wouldn’t so much as look at you anymore? Had you hurt Jisung without even knowing it. Or… Or did he figure out the real reason why you couldn’t be with Felix? Someone must have suspected your feelings for Jisung now. Chris had to know. Changbin already suspected something. Surely, one of them would have hinted at it to Jisung… wouldn’t they? Night after night, you found yourself searching through every text from your friend group for some answer that you were sure would never come to you. Something that someone had said to hint at what was wrong with Jisung.

And then the answer came to you in what someone didn’t say. Hyunjin had never responded to a single one of your texts. You hadn’t noticed at the time, far too caught up in trying to figure out the puzzle that was Han Jisung and his disappearance from your life. But you’d had enough, and if Hyunjin had the answers, then it was time to put a stop to this. You’d buzzed his apartment, and Seungmin let you in without much of a second thought. Hyunjin sat at their dining table, sketchbook open in front of him while he worked on thumbnails for a new assignment. He looked up, and immediately you saw disgust cross his face.

“Tell me what’s wrong with Jisung.”

You weren’t asking anymore: this was a demand. A week ago, you would have scurried in and pleaded for Hyunjin to just talk to you. But the scorn in his eyes was enough to tell you that Hyunjin knew something and, for whatever reason, he was beyond pissed at you. He scowled at you for a moment, but let it go, fading into neutrality. He leaned back after a moment, giving you a quick once-over.

“You’re being rude.”

Was he serious right now? Of all the people to deal with… “Hyunjin.” You folded your arms across your chest. “I mean it. If you do know something, then tell me already.”

His gaze was cold still, expression not betraying his true thoughts. “It’s none of your business.”

“Bullshit!” You snapped at him, fists balled as you stepped forward. “It’s been almost three weeks and I haven’t seen Jisung the entire fucking time—If it’s bad, then at least say that!” 

“What do you think the problem is?!” Hyunjin truly was pissed with you, voice now raising as he stood up. He pushed his sketchbook aside to where it would be safe, and stared you down. “You broke Felix’s heart, and it’s hurting the rest of us—and you should have thought about that before you asked him out.”

You sputtered. Was he pissed at you because things didn’t work out? “I didn’t know we wouldn’t work out! What was I supposed to do—pretend I still had feelings for him?”

“Tell him sooner.” He clenched his jaw. “Don’t lead him on when you clearly have feelings for Jisung.”

Seungmin gasped behind you, and you found yourself at a loss for words. Hyunjin knew? When—How—How the fuck did Hyunjin find out? You swore you’d always hidden your feelings well, but… “What are you talking about?”

His gaze was ice cold now, and he scowled at you once more. “You went out with Felix because you didn’t want to admit it. Now Jisung feels bad because he helped set you two up because you asked—Did you even like Felix?!” 

“I did!” You did. You truly did. But not every relationship was meant to last—and, hell, you never even became anything official. If you could turn back time, you would have ended things sooner. “I did,” you said, your voice softer as you reined in your temper. “I wouldn’t just mess with Felix like that, Hyunjin. He’s my friend, too.” You brought your arms up to hug yourself. “Hyunjin, do you really think I’d do that?”

Hyunjin didn’t say anything for a moment, the regret clear on his face. His fingers grazed the wooden table in front of him as he looked away from you, pressing his lips into a firm line. As upset as he was with you, assuming you would be so cruel to someone you both clearly cared about was… a little too far, wasn’t it? He took a deep breath as he calmed himself down, meeting your eyes after a moment. “I think you need to figure out your feelings. I’m tired of watching my friends hurt.” 

“I know.” Your lip trembled a little, and you fought back the urge to cry. “I can’t help how I feel about Felix, though. I know I should have told him sooner, but… I really, really didn’t know until we kissed. I promise.” 

Hyunjin said nothing at first, just watching you. He licked his lips a moment later, swallowing hard. “You really don’t understand, do you?”

All you could do was stare. Maybe he would give something away. “What?”

Seungmin spoke up after a moment, “Don’t you have that meeting? For your project?” He looked between the two of you. He looked at Hyunjin more pointedly after a moment, clearly annoyed at the confused look on his face. “Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin caught on for once, although you could tell that this was some sort of lie. “Right,” he said, reaching for his sketchbook. “I should go.”

There was no point in calling either of them out. They weren’t going to tell you anything now, and you needed to reflect on what had happened so far. You apologized for intruding and for coming in so hot, turning to make your way out of the apartment. While you still weren’t sure why, exactly, Jisung was upset to the point of not speaking to you… You understood at least a little more. It felt like everyone knew something that you didn’t, although the answer felt just outside of your reach. How much of it was you not knowing, though, and how much of it was you not letting yourself know? You weren’t sure. 

Hyunjin called your name before you left, hesitating before he met your gaze. “I think… I think you should talk to Jisung.” He frowned. “I’m still upset with you because of Felix, but… It’s weird that you two aren’t talking at all. So…” He made his way over, opening the door to leave with you. “Talk to Jisung soon.”

You would. Regardless of how you came out on the other end, you would talk to him no matter what it took.

Jisung had his favorite studio on the music floor of the arts building. He’d penciled in his time slot at the beginning of the week, and let himself in with the code. This room was the furthest from the entrance, and it had the most comfortable chair to settle in and work in. It was always a fight to get this room, and Jisung was good at quietly stealing a few time slots for himself. He shoved his bag underneath the table, and he put himself to work. He’d need to re-record the piano track for one piece, record the guitar accompaniment for another piece he’d been working on… And plenty more that was always best suited for working here rather than home. Using digital instruments only took him so far—there was something calming about sitting down and playing a piece himself. 

It wasn’t until he was playing a piece back that he heard the door click unlocked behind him. When he looked up, there you were. You looked tired. Far more tired than he did most days. What had happened to you? 

“Hey.” You stood in the open doorway. Non-music students weren’t allowed in here, but that had never stopped you. Someone had to drag him back home when it was getting too late, after all.

He ran a hand through his hair, hoping that he looked casual enough. “Hey.”

“Everything okay?” The door slowly fell shut behind you, and you stepped a little closer to him. “It’s been a while.” 

Three weeks, but who’s counting? Jisung was. He kept counting day by day, hour by hour, trying to whittle down the time further and further until he was strong enough to face you again. “I’ve been busy,” he half-lied. “That’s all.”

“Is it?” You frowned, making your way over to the nearby chair. “If you want me to leave, you can tell me, okay? I’m worried about you.” 

Jisung let out a sigh, nodding. “I’m okay. Just…” He looked at the piece he’d been working on, and thought back to the song he’d been writing for you. “I’ve been working on a song sometimes. But…” He looked at you. Maybe you’d have the answer he was still searching for. “What would you do if you loved someone you shouldn’t?”

“Like… forbidden love?” You tilted your head curiously, frowning. “Or…?”

He chuckled, actually smiling again for the first time in a while. Oh, how he was still so endeared to you. No wonder you were still in your literature program with cute thoughts like those. “Just someone you can’t be with. Like…” He hummed to himself. It would be another lie, but it’d throw you off his trail if you were starting to figure him out. “A friend’s partner.” 

He could see the way you started to think on that, no doubt making a list of all the friends the two of you had that were dating. It’d vex your brain for a bit, sure, but Jisung didn’t mind. He liked the cute way your brows drew together when you were thinking hard, lips always pressing into this pout. 

“That’s what my song is about is all,” he said. “I haven’t experienced it myself,” he lied again, “but I was thinking about it and I wondered what kind of song that would turn into. It’s about someone who’s in love with their friend’s partner, and struggling with those feelings. Like… They wouldn’t do anything to hurt their friend, but they still can’t  help their feelings.”

You said nothing to him. Had he said too much? You were figuring him out, weren’t you…?

“I just think it’s hard to live that life,” he said. Every time he even thought about you, there was an ache in his chest. Felix liked you, too. “I mean… Imagine loving someone so much that it hurts.” 

“I can, yeah.” Your voice had gone a little quieter than usual. Right. Had you felt that way about Felix…? Or were you talking about him now? Jisung struggled more with that one, even though Hyunjin was so confident that Jisung’s feelings had never been one-sided. 

He met your gaze a minute later, shy to look into your eyes again. He’d always loved the color of your eyes. If he could write songs about how he wanted to drown in their warm, loving gaze, he would. But that was straying a little too far into territory he’d sworn away from. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I wanted time to figure things out, but… I think Minho would tell you I haven’t talked to most people lately.”

You nodded. “Chris said the three of you went out to a noraebang.” Your toes tapped against the floor in that nervous way, as though this was a topic you shouldn’t even come close to. “Did that help?”

Wait… You weren’t mad at him for that. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“No?” You toyed with your sleeve, not quite meeting his gaze this time. “I mean… It did sting a little bit, but if you needed Chris and Minho, then I can’t change that. All I can do is just kinda hope that they helped you.”

He didn’t deserve you. Fuck the music for now, he’d finished what he really needed to do. He began to shut down the equipment, gathering his things as he stood up, facing you. “I’ll buy dessert,” he said. “Is that okay?”

it was your turn to smile at him, lighting up his world all too easily. You followed him out of the studio, and he secured the door shut to make sure it was locked. For a moment, his hand brushed against your own, and he yearned to hold it. Another feeling he would have to get used to, he was sure. But all he could do was smile at you, thankful that you were right there by his side for the first time in weeks. 

This would be hard, but he could do it. He wasn’t going to lose you again. Not if he had anything to do with it.

Hyunjin had shown up to his apartment for once, and he stood in the doorway to his bedroom. “Jisung. Tell them.” His hand curled around the strap of his bag, clutching it tight. “Soon.” 

Minho had told him the same thing ever since the two of you started talking again. If Jisung didn’t want to pursue you, then it was time he learned to let you go. And if he did want to become something with you, then he needed to talk to you. It wasn’t fair to either of you if he held onto this dream of loving you without ever trying. If Jisung couldn’t let himself do it, then why keep hurting himself by holding onto it so tightly? Why not find a new dream to pursue, a new person to love wholeheartedly? Yet Jisung couldn’t imagine a world where he wasn’t loving you in some way. Part of his heart would live and die with you one day, no matter how far away he went. This was his fate now.

“I just got our friendship back,” he said without looking up again. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Jisung, they like you.” Hyunjin said it outright. “So you need to tell them.”

Jisung looked up. He knew you liked him. But would he ever let himself fully believe it? It felt… harder to grasp that reality. He’d spent so long telling himself that it was all in his head, that the tender look in your eyes was just you caring for him as a best friend. But Hyunjin was right. Minho had been right. Everyone who had ever told him to just go for it was right. “Hyunjin, I don’t know if I can—”

“I’m tired of watching my friends hurt,” he said. “All of us see it. Why can’t you?”

Jisung swallowed hard. “What about Felix?”

Hyunjin averted his gaze, frowning. “Felix…” He took a deep breath. “Felix would want you to be happy, Jisung. He knows, too, you know.” He took a step back. “I’m not going to push you. But you should tell them.”

He said nothing else, and soon Hyunjin left him there. Jisung shut the world out again, listening to his song as it played back to him again. One step closer. Once he finished this song, everything would be okay.

Chris Bang had always been your best friend growing up before Jisung took that title away from him. He was an older brother to you in every way except blood, and that meant he was the one who would have the hard talks with you. He’d come home with your favorite takeout in hand, setting it on the dinner table before saying he’d change out of his work clothes quickly. But you knew what was coming. There were only two reasons that Chris would buy your favorite takeout on his way home from work. You weren’t upset, which meant it was time for an adult conversation. One that you wouldn’t want to have, but needed to. Soon enough, Chris had sat across from you, having poured your drink first. 

“So I think we should talk about how you’re in love with Jisung,” Chris said as he set down the bottle. “Okay?”

You stared at him, already feeling tears well up. Everyone knew, then. If Chris knew, then there was no way the others hadn’t figured it out. “Chris…”

“It’s okay.” He took your hand in his own. It was time for the two of you to dump your feelings onto the table and sort them out right then and there together. “Let’s talk about this, okay? No more running away.”

No more running away. You breathed in deep, and slowly exhaled. Where to begin…? You weren’t sure. So much of your life had become this huge mess over the past few months, and now all those strings were tangled so tightly together that you weren’t sure you could undo the knot.

So Chris squeezed your hand before letting go, turning his attention to the bag of takeout in front of you. “I know you,” he said. “So I know you didn’t want to hurt Felix, and I know that you still don’t. But… I think it’s time you put your feelings first for once.”

“Chris…” You frowned. “It feels too soon.”

“I kinda hate saying it, but we all know now. Felix included.” He set your plate in front of you, and didn’t touch his own. All he did was watch you, waiting for you to say or do anything further. When you didn’t, he decided to continue on, “You can’t tell me that you don’t want to act now because of Felix. I asked everyone and they all said the same thing: they thought you’d liked Jisung for a while before you and Felix dated. After that, they all thought that you two were just that close.”

“We are.” 

Chris shook his head, saying your name gently this time. “You know Jisung loves you, right?”

There was a spike of pain in your chest. Not because you didn’t, but because you did. Hyunjin had all but spelled it out for you before, but seeing Jisung again that day proved it. You’d always thought you were just believing in something that wasn’t there, too afraid to toe the line between friend and more. Tears lined your eyes now, and finally ran down your cheeks as you blinked. All you could do was nod now. 

Chris already reached up to wipe away your tears. “It’s okay!” He chuckled. “You’ve gotten so soft,” he teased. “But… Why did you never tell him?”

“I was scared.” You still were, to be fair. “I didn’t know for sure before, and… Now I just don’t want to hurt Felix. I don’t think Jisung does, either.”

His gaze softened so much. Of course the two of you were still thinking of Felix. Minho had said the same thing to Chris, actually. “Felix wants you to be happy,” he said. “All of us do. If that means being with Jisung, then that’s what you should do. Felix is an adult, you know. He might be more sensitive sometimes, but he’d never hold any of this against you.” He cupped your cheek gently. “And I really, really don’t think he’d want to be the reason you two never tried.”

You could believe that easily. If Felix knew, he’d feel guilty. That you knew as fact.

“And if I’m being honest… I don’t think he’s the only reason you haven’t tried.” He pulled his hand away from your face. “So… Talk to me. What’s really stopping you?”

No running away. “What if this doesn't work out and I lose Jisung for good?”

“There’s no guarantee that will happen,” Chris said. 

“There’s no guarantee we’ll work out, either.” You frowned. “I’ve heard horror stories of friends who tried to date and it ruined everything.”

“And there’s friends who managed to go back to being friends,” Chris said. “I really think that you two wouldn’t let it tear you apart. You’ve already been through so much, you know?” 

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. The last thing you ever wanted was to lose Jisung again. If the two of you didn’t work out, how hard would you fight for him? Would he fight for you, too…?

“The most you’ll ever have to do is get space from each other,” Chris said. “But I think you’d come back to each other.”

“I think he’s my soulmate.” You hadn’t thought before you said it, the words bursting out of you all too easily. Regardless of whether that was platonically or romantically, Jisung was someone you wanted to keep in your life forever. “But…”

“But?”

“Isn’t it too soon?” You frowned at Chris. “I mean… Felix and I—”

“If you don’t go for it now, when will you?” Chris held your hand again. “If you aren’t ready to tell him, I won’t push you to do it. Just because you confess doesn’t mean you have to rush into a relationship—it just means you’re finally being honest with each other. Go at your own pace… But don’t hold back because of everyone else, okay?” He squeezed your hand reassuringly. “The only people in this relationship would be you and Jisung. So don’t include anyone else in this decision, okay?”

With a nod, you decided to commit to giving yourself three days. One day to make up your mind for sure on whether this was the right move to make. If you were going to confess to Jisung, then you wanted to do it sooner rather than later. The second day was to figure out how you were going to tell him. Over cheesecake, or in through a song, or in the park… You still had to figure that part out, and you would. It needed to be special. 

And the third day was going to be the day you told him.

On the rooftop of Jisung’s apartment was a community garden. It brought a little greenery into the city, and it was nice to see the plants that several people often tended to— fresh herbs that Minho would sometimes pick with permission to use when he cooked, a few tomato plants that he often saw people tending to, Things that he didn’t fully understand the care of himself, but he still appreciated the efforts put into it. It was a nice space to sit and think alone sometimes, most of his friends unaware of just how often he’d come up here. He could see so much of the city here, too. He was just one person in this great big city—in the world, even, if he let his mind wander that far. And yet he’d found significance through the people he loved, in the passions he pursued. 

He’d finished his song for you late last night, and now he was left with this hollow feeling. He’d told himself over and over that this song would be it: one last thing he’d dedicate to you, and then he’d move on. But… That wasn’t how it was going to work at all. Han Jisung knew a few things now. He loved you. You loved him. The only question he had left was how to tell you.

Maybe he should have written you a love song instead. Then he’d have something, at least.

He’d brought a drink out here with him, settling at the picnic table. He used to bring you up here sometimes, stealing away from the world for a while to just exist with you. You’d share drinks together, and a few times you’d ended up rained on. Now, he just lost himself to the playlist he’d been listening to, head bobbing along to the music. He could bring you here and confess to you at sunset. Would that be romantic? He didn’t care for it being a grand gesture, as long as it was something memorable. All he wanted was a gesture that told you that he was sorry but ready to face tomorrow at your side, if you would let him be there. 

The door to the rooftop had this awful screech that he could hear through his headphones. He opened his eyes, reaching to pull them around his neck and politely greet whoever had come up here. And it was as if you’d heard his thoughts, because there you stood in the golden rays of the day. 

“Hey.” The door had slowly swung shut behind you as you made your way over to him.

He shyly smiled at you. “Hi.” Now it was his turn to ask: “Is everything okay?”

You nodded, coming to the edge of the table. “I think we should talk about us.”

“Us?” His heart almost skipped a beat at that. Did you…? 

Oh. You knew. 

“It’s nothing bad,” you had said to him, as if it could put him at ease now. “But…” You rounded the table, throwing one leg over the bench he’d been sitting on. Instead of sitting normally, you chose to straddle it, just so you could fully face him.

So he matched you, throwing one leg out and turning to fully face you. “But?”

“I’m in love with you,” you said, voice wavering ever so slightly now. “And… And you’re in love with me.” You’d begun to drum your knuckles against the wooden bench. “And… And I don’t know why neither of us said anything sooner.”

Jisung stared at you, face growing warmer. His gut instinct was to deny it, to push his feelings away. But Hyunjin’s words rang out in his head: he was tired of seeing his friends hurt. Everyone was now.

“I really wanna be honest with you, so…” You took a deep breath, shutting your eyes for just a moment to center yourself. “Hyunjin thought I was using Felix to get over you, and… I just wanted to say that I promise I wasn’t. I really did like Felix, but…”

“I didn’t think you were,” Jisung’s voice was soft, and he reached for your hands. His fingertips grazed your knuckles before he pulled his hands away. Was touching you, even in such a tiny way, too much? “I knew you liked him.”

You nodded slowly. “Good. Because…” You’d grown flustered, averting your gaze. “I.. didn’t know that it’d always be you until I kissed him.”

That time, the world seemed to stop around him. It’d… always be him? “What?” His fingers curled around the edge of the bench. “I don’t understand. What do you—” 

A moment later, your eyes met his own. “I think I’ve been looking for you in every person I’ve tried dating, and that’s why it’s never worked out.” He’d already begun to melt, but you continued on, “If you didn’t love me back, then I think maybe one day I would have moved on. But… If you don’t, then tell me, and we can pretend this conversation never happened.”

He shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to pretend he didn’t love you. Yet something ached in his chest. Felix. Even now, all he could think about was how Felix would hurt once he knew the two of you were something. “I… I want to,” he said, voice softer now. “But what about Felix?”

“Would you hesitate if Felix didn’t like me?”

He shook his head. Never. He swallowed hard, his emotions building in his chest. He’d dreamed of a day like this for so long, always pining over you night after night. He dreamed of kissing you, warm and tender, and saying all the pretty things that came to mind. And now that you were in front of him, he couldn’t help but glance at your lips again. Not yet. “I…” He paused, just to gather himself together. “I didn’t think you’d love me, you know.”

You frowned at him. “Why not?”

“You’re you,” he said. “And… And I wasn’t sure if you’d ever like me like that. I’ve always known you liked me, but love is… different.” The paint chips from the bench were flaking onto his fingers now, the same shade of red as your sweater. As his, too. “I know Felix is hurting now, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I thought it would, but…”

“I get it.” You nodded slowly. “I… I also kinda thought things would change. But if everyone wants us to be happy, then I think we’re the only people standing in our way.” 

He didn’t want to. Not anymore. Jisung reached forward, this time keeping his hands over your own. “I think we should stop that,” he said, voice growing quieter. His eyes had grown wetter, tears brimming the edges, and reached up to wipe them away. “Sorry—I’m getting emotional.”

“It’s okay.” You scooted forward a little, and Jisung felt his heart begin to race. You were so close he could kiss you. He wanted to kiss you. You reached up, caressing Jisung’s face. He already leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he savored the feeling. Your hands were so warm, even now. “I think I’ll always love Felix the way I love the rest of our friends. But… I love you more, Jisung. I know it’s early to say it, but… I really think it’s you.”

He opened his eyes, taking in the way the golden rays of the sun were kissing your face. Was it wrong to be a little jealous? Again, his eyes flickered down to your lips for just a second. “Can I kiss you?”

You said the only word he needed, and he leaned in to close the space between the two of you. His nose had brushed against yours for a moment, already smiling before his lips met your own. Your lips were so soft, and his hands found a home at your waist after a moment. He’d always wondered what kissing you would be like, and now it felt as though he’d finally woken up from the longest dream in his life. His eyes fluttered shut as he lost himself in this moment with you.

He’d heard stories before of what it was like to kiss someone after so much pining, after so many trials in the way. People talked of having their breath stolen from them, or being unable to breathe from how surreal it all seemed to be. Yet when he kissed you, it was as though he could finally breathe again. He had resurfaced after drowning in so much self doubt and fear for far too long, and kissing you was living. Yet he knew that if he was given the choice to drown in you, he would have done it without a second thought. As much as you’d given him life with only a kiss, filling his lungs with air, he’d follow your siren song to the depths of the ocean all too eagerly if it meant he could taste this feeling once more. You ran a hand through his hair, and he was already intoxicated by you, his body yearning for your touch more than ever before. Yet when he pulled away, something had plucked his heartstrings one by one. He let out that broken, stuttered breath that always served as a precursor for him crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he gazed at you, trying to commit every part of this moment to memory. 

“Jisung?” You were concerned for him even after kissing him, and he wanted to laugh. To cry. To kiss you again. “Are you okay?”

He nodded, his hands finding your own all too easily. “I love you, too.” He’d always love you. Whatever part of his heart you had, it was yours to keep regardless of where this went. “I think it’s you for me, too.” 

By the time the two of you had made it back inside, the sun had set, and Jisung had held onto your hand tightly the entire way to his apartment. He’d given up his bed for you in the past already, he’d happily do it again to make sure you had a proper night of sleep. Maybe one day he would fall asleep next to you and memorize every line and blemish on your face, but not tonight. Kissing you and saying those three little words he’d always wanted to hear you say was plenty for one day. Yet he’d kissed you one last time as he left you at his bedroom door, just to kiss you goodnight.

“Jisung?” You’d called to him as he made his way to the couch, and he’d turned to face you one more time. “Dream of me.”

Oh. Oh. His heart had skipped a beat yet again at you. This was his new reality, wasn’t it? He found himself smiling at you, that same shy, pretty smile you’d later tell him you always wanted to kiss. He’d dream of you every night if it meant he could wake up to you, too. Tonight would be the end of strife and stress and strain from not telling you how he felt. Now he had to make up for so much lost time.

And if that meant that, starting tomorrow, he would tell you exactly what you meant to him, then he’d do it. That was what you deserved, after all, and what he did, too.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @jinnie-ret @cheesemonky

[kanmom51]

Missing Jikook today

Not that I don't miss them every single day, but just saying...

@wonsummernight Miss your edits!!!!!! I know there isn't any new Jikook content just yet, but if there was a time we were in dire need for some heart wrenching Jikook edits, this is it!!!

Basically, this is me telling you "PLEASE COME BACK". 💜💜

So, I came today to cry a little, you know commiserating together with others takes the edge off a bit (note to self: keep telling yourself that, and you might start believing it too...), but also to remind y'all that SM is crap, a viper pit, a cec pool, where all the miserably unhappy ignorant assholes tend to flock to (this is about the assholes that have turned sm into such a place), either to create drama that will get them some much needed attention they aren't getting elsewhere, or to create a parallel universe where their dreams and wants come true, even if they have zero standing in reality. Oh, and I forgot those that are there to make some hard cash, by all means.

And why am I mentioning all of this, you may ask?

Well, because for some reason my hopes and dreams for a fandom cleanse are being shattered as we speak.

As you may already know, I've taken a step back lately. mainly distancing myself from SM, as it's been going downhill for ages now, but has become an even uglier place to visit in the past few months, I'd say ever since it's been known that JK and JM are enlisting TOGETHER and will be serving TOGETHER, basically being in each other's close vicinity 24/7 for 18 months (even if not sharing exact same duties within the unit) and spending off time together . And to clarify once again: Same unit, same posting (base), different duties within the unit.

You'd think that 3 months in, and after the initial shock, reality and truth would set in (even with the most delusional) that these two young men CHOSE to enlist together (free choice and steps taken by both of them to achieve this). And once again me reminding they are the only ones in the group to decide they want to do this and the only idols to ever do so.

But no. Who am I kidding? Probably wishful thinking on my part. You know, that these people will either wake up, smell the roses and just cope with reality, or plain and simply piss off (that's probably me being delusional at this point).

Point being, it's gotten even worse. Like who would have believed that would happen? Yeah, probably should have seen it coming though. When you have cult behavior, when you have those that profit off it (monetarily or otherwise), I should have known it would go this way. The need to dive even deeper into the filth of this earth, to create even dumber narratives, to, of course, spew even more hate towards either of them (depending what delusional team you are on).

Should have seen it all coming.

Sadly, instead of just leaving, tail between their legs, they are doubling down on their utterly delusional beliefs regarding these young men. Not without pain, I may add. Pain, that a small part of me, someone that tries very hard to be nice and good and positive, is now relishing (I lie... not that mall of a part after all). Their twists and turns, their made up shit to compensate for whatever shit JK, JM or Tae are throwing their way... kind of priceless. I mean, if they aren't going anywhere, should we not at least enjoy their demise?

Does that make me a bad person?

Honestly, I don't think so.

And Jikook being away from most of this, lighting the fire and walking away leaving their haters behind to burn, was a nice touch.

Now we just sit here silently wait for our little travel show...

💜💜

[the-library-of-forgotten-endings]

The Delinquent’s Guide to Finding Love

Warnings: profanity, domestic ab*se, psychological ab*se, Gakuhoe Asano and his A+ Parenting, mild spoilers

Reader is female

Assassination Classroom doesn't belong to me, and neither does Karma.

“Good morning, everyone. My name is (Y/N) Asano, and I am the new transfer student.”

The girl at the front of the room surveys the class with a cold expression. “I look forward to meeting you all.” She certainly doesn’t seem like it.

She stalks across the room, taking a seat next to Karma Akabane.

Karma feels a vengeful glee grow inside of him. Ha! This is hilarious!

“Not so smiley now, are you, Princess?” he taunts.

“…” She looks at him. “Akabane.”

“(Y/N)-chan.”

“Don’t call me chan. Only my friends call me that. And you are not my friend.”

Maybe…just maybe…

“Daddy decided that Princess was useless, didn’t he?” Karma sneers. “Looks like Daddy doesn’t love you anymore~”

“…” She looks at him frigidly. “Please do not talk to me.”

This is better than hilarious, Karma decides. This is possibly the best thing that has happened to him in his life.

(Y/N) Asano.

How does Karma describe her?

Perhaps he should keep it short.

Former student of 3-A (Former, ha!). Daughter of the Principal. Sister of Gakushuu Asano. Captain of the cheer team. Kunugigaoka’s School Idol.

A complete and utter fake.

If you ask anyone on Main Campus, (Y/N) is a kind, gentle soul, a friendly, talented young girl who, even when she’s beaten down, keeps a bright smile on her face.

If you ask Karma Akabane, she’s a liar and a fake.

She’s an Asano, for god’s sake. What do you expect?

The first time Karma saw her, it was hate at first sight.

Pure, unfiltered, hate.

She was cheering on Kunugigaoka’s football team, with a bright, warm smile, which Karma knew, from the very depths of his core, was fake, fake, fake.

“Come on A-Class!” she had yelled, shaking her pom-poms. “Let’s send them straight to hell!”

The team A-Class was playing against was the E-Class team.

They weren’t sent to hell, but E-Class was most certainly put through it.

“So, (L/N)-san how did you end up here?” tries Kanzaki.

“Reasons,” (Y/N) responds.

“Um…ok…”

“What do you want with me? Just spit it out.”

“…Would you like to sit with us at lunch? I know-”

“No.”

“…”

“(L/N)-san, this is an opportunity to make friends!” encourages Koro-sensei. “Why not-”

(Y/N) looks at Koro-sensei. “I have no intention of making friends here,” she states.

“You’ll need allies on your side if you want to kill me-”

“I have no intention of killing you.” Koro-sensei freezes at this, as does Karma. (Y/N) narrows her eyes. “I have no need of the prize money. I will be back at A-Class soon enough anyways, so there is no real point.”

“…”

“Please excuse me.” (Y/N) stands up and starts to walk away from her desk.

“So…you show your true colours at last,” calls out Karma.

(Y/N) stops in her tracks, and slowly turns around, facing Karma. “Fuck off.”

(Y/N) was rather popular back when she was back at Main Campus.

Karma would often see her blow a kiss or two to her admirers, who would often follow her around the school, but noticed how she would skip those from E-Class.

Speaking of following, there was also that clique of hers. She wasn’t really part of the Big Five, but she did have a ‘group’ of her own. It was made exclusively of members of her cheer team, each one as plastic and fake as her.

Naturally, there was no room for the ‘dirt’ that was E-class.

Karma was watching from the shadows when The Incident happened.

“Why won’t you let me join the cheer team?” fumed Hinata Okano.

“You’re in D-Class, Okano,” says (Y/N), her voice cold, unforgiving. “You’re barely hanging on as it is. Get better grades and then I might consider it.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Life’s not fair.”

Okano stormed out of the room, and Karma only just managed to catch the tearful shine of Okano’s eyes.

Lunchtime in E-Class.

(Y/N) is not eating a bite of her food, simply messing around with what’s inside her lunchbox. She is sitting under a large tree, its shadow protecting her from the harsh sun.

Karma casually walks up to her, pouring his strawberry milk inside her lunchbox, some of the milk splashing onto her shirt.

“Oops.” He smiles innocently. “Sorry.”

“…” (Y/N) stands up, and walks towards the nearest bin, dumping her food inside, disposing of it.

Karma kicks over the compost bin, the contents of the bin landing on her shoes.

“Sorry.” He is openly smirking now.

Maybe she’ll say something now. Maybe she’ll yell at him. Maybe she’ll cry.

Karma wants to see that human side of her again, he wants to see that vulnerable side, so he can reach into her and then finally tear her apart.

Oh. That was a little intense.

Meh, whatever. ‘Intense’ is Karma’s middle name.

(Y/N) walks away from Karma, not saying a word.

“What happened, Princess?” Karma mocks. “Did I hurt your feewings~?”

No answer.

What a shame.

The first prank was relatively amateur.

A box of chocolates, the chocolates replaced with a jack in a box which sprayed paint all over (Y/N)’s shirt.

Karma had watched from a little ways off, as (Y/N) and her clique stood there in silence.

Pin drop silence.

Until (Y/N) laughed. She looked straight at Karma and shot him a (fake) smile. “You totally got me, Akabane-san!”

Rage.

Karma watches Kanzaki shrink into herself as she walks home, as jeers and insults are thrown at her from the Main Campus students.

Someone pushes her, and Kanzaki falls to the ground, her books scattered all over the ground.

Karma begins to walk up to her but stops when he sees someone else approach her. He hides behind a tree in order to see exactly why would (Y/N) Asano would ever help someone?

“Stop crying,” says (Y/N), holding out a hand for her to grab onto. Kanzaki takes it and stands up, sniffling.

(Y/N) crosses her arms. “You need to stop being so pathetic, Kanzaki,” she says, her eyes narrowed.

Kanzaki looks like she’s about to burst into full out tears.

(Y/N) takes a deep breath and sighs, her tone changing into something softer, kinder almost. “The reason they pick on you is because you look vulnerable, pathetic and weak. You try to hide so that people won’t notice on you, but it just has the opposite effect.”

“…” Kanzaki looks confused.

(Y/N) sighs again. “Tell me something. In the wild, a wolf wouldn’t attack a lion, would it?”

Kanzaki shakes her head.

“But it would attack a cow, wouldn’t it?”

Kanzaki nods her head.

“Why is that? Why doesn’t it attack the lion? Why doesn’t it leave the cow alone?”

“…It’s because the wolf knows it’s weaker than the lion,” answers Kanzaki tentatively. “So, it decides to pick on the cow instead…”

(Y/N) smiles. It isn’t like how she used to smile, how she used to smile back in Main. This smile is more…evil-looking, cruel, mischievous (and it makes Karma’s heart do weird backflips worthy of an Olympic gold medal, but there was no way in hell he was ever going to admit that).

“Kanzaki-chan, you are the cow. And Main Campus are the wolves. To beat them, you need to become a lion.”

“…But…I’m not nearly strong or clever enough…” Kanzaki shuffles her feet nervously. “I’m…not ready…”

“Then fake it till you make it.” (Y/N)’s tone is hard. “Hold your chin up high, stand straight, and pretend you don’t care.”

Kanzaki does exactly that, not really succeeding, instead looking sort of like constipated turtle.

“You look like a constipated turtle,” sighs (Y/N).

“Sorry,” Kanzaki mumbles.

“Let me put it this way,” says (Y/N), pinching her brow. “Try to look like a bitch.”

“…a…bitch?”

“Yes. A rich, beautiful cold brat who has money and looks and the whole school humping her leg like a chihuahua.”

“…that’s…oddly specific.”

“Just do it.”

Kanzaki tries to look bitchy, and kind of succeeds, putting a cold look on her face and holding her chin up high.

“Now walk,” instructs (Y/N). “Walk back home like that.”

“…and if they insult me again?” asks Kanzaki timidly.

“Ignore them. Pretend that they’re tiny little ants.”

“…Alright.” And so Kanzaki walks away, trying her best to pretend that the Main Campus are tiny little ants.

“…”

…Karma gets it.

She’s…trying to be nice.

Maybe…maybe she was really trying to change.

…

THE NEXT DAY

…

Okay, you know what Karma said about (Y/N) trying to change?

Karma takes that back She isn’t trying to change, not at all.

Why did Karma expect anything different?

“The way you’re cartwheeling is completely wrong, Okano.” (Y/N) crosses her arms. “It makes you look like an amputated duck.”

“Haaanh? And when we ask you for your opinion, Miss ‘I’m so great at everything?’” snaps Okano. “Jeez, could you stop poking your nose in where it doesn’t belong? My cartwheel is fine-”

Kanzaki looks helplessly from one girl to another. “Guys, we shouldn’t argue-”

“She’s insulting my skills!” yells Okano.

“I’m trying to help you!” (Y/N) retorts.

“So, dissing me is helping now? How about some actual constructive feedback instead!?”

“…Ok, you want constructive feedback?” (Y/N)’s voice is cold; Karma swears that the temperature drops a few degrees. “Just quit. You’ll never be able to get anywhere, so why keep trying if you just keep on messing up?”

“…” Okano clenches her fist and glares. “Why you…!”

Kanzaki’s eyes widen, and she mutters, “Wasn’t that a little harsh…?”

(Y/N) doesn’t even bother to answer, only turning her back on the two girls and walking away.

Okano yells and launches herself in (Y/N)’s direction, about to give (Y/N) one of her signature flying kicks. “YOU BITCH!”

(Y/N) simply steps out of the way and watches as Okano lands in the dust, raising an eyebrow as if to say, ‘Seriously?’

Okano gets back up on her feet, breathing heavily. Anybody with half a mind can see that she is still angry from the angry furrow of her brows to the red flush of her cheeks and the trembling of her clenched fists.

With a roar Okano launches a punch towards (Y/N)’s face, but (Y/N) without so much as a flinch grabs Okano’s arm and flips her backwards, sending her crashing to the ground.

Okano doesn’t get back up this time.

The retaliation was unexpected.

Karma never thought she would have the guts.

But there Karma was, realising that all of his clothes had been switched out for something truly hideous.

No one had any spare clothes, and therefore, Karma Akabane was forced to spend the rest of the day in a tattered yellow Hawaiian shirt and mud splattered shorts, subject to the sniggers and giggles of fellow students.

Karma hadn’t known who had done it.

Not until (Y/N) Asano had brushed up against him as he was moving classes and whispered to him, “You look good in yellow, Akabane,” her lips lightly touching the skin of his ear and sending shivers down his spine.

Love Hate.

“Asano-san, what you did was completely out of line!” fumes Koro-sensei, his face a deep black. Karma feels himself tremble ever so slightly, but (Y/N)’s face seems composed, bored even.

Karma may be a devil, but (Y/N) is definitely not human.

“I was defending myself,” she says calmly.

“You could have seriously hurt Okano!”

“And she could have seriously hurt me if I had let her.”

The entire class sits in pin-drop silence as Koro-sensei looks straight at (Y/N). “Hurting another classmate isunacceptable,” he growls.

“She was the one who started it.” (Y/N)’s face betrays nothing.

“Okano, is this true?” And just like that, Okano is now the one who is shaking (even more) as Koro-sensei directs his gaze onto her.

“…yes…” Okano mutters, confessing to her sin. “But she provoked me! She insulted my skills! She told me that I should just quit gymnastics!”

“…” Koro-sensei looks at (Y/N) once more.

“…Okano is telling the truth,” says (Y/N).

“And what made you say such a thing to her?”

“She asked me for advice, and I gave it,” (Y/N) states.

Koro-sensei sighs, his face fading back into its usual yellow colour. “I see now. (Y/N).” (Y/N) nods, showing she is attentive. “For now, I am letting you off, since you are new, but you must not provoke another student in such a manner again. Do you understand?” he says, wagging a tentacle at the young girl

“I understand.”

“And Okano.” Okano perks to attention. “You mustn’t lash out like that a fellow classmate again. Violence against others will not be tolerated. Do you understand?”

“…I understand.”

“Good!” And just like that, the tension in the air disappeared, as if it hadn’t been there at all. “Now, let’s get back to the lesson, shall we?”

By the end of the day, the rain is pouring down like never before, dark clouds swirling in the sky and fog clogging the air. Karma luckily has brought his umbrella, so his hair is fluffy rather than sodden from the water.

He walks out of the school, frowning when he sees a figure standing amongst the white fog.

“…Asano.”

(Y/N)’s eyes are trained on some spot in the distance, and her foot is tapping impatiently, the rain soaking her all over. “Akabane,” she responds curtly. “You’ve come to spill milk on me again?”

“Aw, Princess, you know me.” Karma gives a dark grin. “I’m a complete angel. I would never do something like that on purpose. Could you imagine?”

(Y/N) snorts in response.

“So, what’s someone like you doing out here?” questions Karma. “Standing in the rain like a stray dog?”

“Waiting for my brother,” (Y/N) says. “He should be here any minute now. That idiot’s so late today.”

There’s a little catch in her voice that most people would have missed or ignored, but Karma isn’t most people, and as such he pounces on this chink in her armour. “And by any minute, do you mean one hour?”

“…” The tapping of her foot stops.

“I stayed back an hour to help some of the others with math. And knowing that Asano, he wouldn’t forget anything. He’s always on time, always completely prepared. Face it, Princess. You’ve been ditched.” Karma holds out his umbrella, smirking. “So why don’t you let the handsome prince take you home?” he mocks.

“…Gakushuu will be here soon,” she answers, her voice slightly unsure. Her eyes are still looking somewhere far away. “He’ll be here. So, I don’t need your help.”

“…He’s not coming for you. No one’s coming for you,” says Karma, the smile dropping from his face. “You’re one of us now, Princess. An outcast. A piece of trash. No one from your old life will even want to touch you now. Welcome to E-class.”

“…that isn’t true.” (Y/N) shakes her head, laughing. “That’s ridiculous! My brother cares about me, obviously, he just can’t afford to spend time with me right now because there’s so much work to do, and I have to concentrate on my studies too!” Water drips down her cheeks.

“A dog with a leash can’t stray too far from his master,” states Karma. “And stray dogs are to be kept far away from the house.”

“…” (Y/N) finally looks at Karma. There is a sugary smile on her face, one that reminds Karma of the old days, back when Karma was in D-class and she in A-class.

But her eyes burn with something even darker than sin itself.

“Does the Princess have something to say?” Karma mocks, trying not to waver at the look in her eyes. “What is it, Your Majesty?”

“…I really like dogs too!” she says, her voice dripping with thick, sweet, choking syrup, the saccharine poison forcing its way down Karma’s throat and drowning out his voice.

“They’re so sweet and cute, you know!” She laughs, looking Karma up and down. “There’s this little red one who I see very often. He’s thinks he’s so scary, barking at me all the time. It’s so adorable! But I sometimes feel really sorry for him. His parents- oh sorry, owners, like to go on really long trips, and they leave him alone all the time. Then he really acts out, getting into fights and biting all these people, but when he gets home, he cries and cries. It’s just so pathetic.”

Karma can’t hold himself back anymore. His fist flies through the air, straight towards (Y/N) Asano’s face.

“I am speechless.”

Karma and (Y/N) are back in the 3-E classroom, under the disapproving gaze of Koro-sensei, similar to before with Okano really, except it was only the three of them.

Karma, in hindsight, curses himself for falling for the bait. But he feels satisfied

“Asano-san.” (Y/N) isn’t afraid. But it’s not like she’s calm either. Her dull eyes stare at somewhere that isn’t here nor there, and she barely breathes.

Karma isn’t sure if he likes it.

“I warned you today that you were on caution, and any more fights would get you in serious trouble. And yet, the minute school ends, I get-” Koro-sensei waves a tentacle in Karma’s direction. “-this. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“He started it,” she mutters, barely audible, sounding like a sulking child.

“I see. And is this true, Karma-kun?” asks Koro-sensei, his usually sunny smile now much more comparable to the bloodthirsty grin of a serial killer.

“…” Karma could lie. He could lie. But he isn’t that kind of person… “…No.” Well, he is that kind of person as it turns out. What a surprise.

“Oh yes, so it was a ghost who punched me?” snaps (Y/N), vindictive. “It was a ghost who mocked me? It was a ghost who spilled milk all over me? I am so done with your bullshit, Akabane.”

“I’m done with your bullshit too,” Karma fires back. “You’re all sour over the fact that you’re not in Main anymore and you’ve been taking it out on all of us like a petty little bitc-”

“I understand what has been going on now.” Koro-sensei’s voice has a certain resolution to it. “You both can go home now, but I want you to stay after school tomorrow. Understand?”

“…Understood,” (Y/N) mutters.

“Understood,” Karma mutters as well.

…

THE NEXT DAY

…

“Bonding,” Karma seethes, crossing his arms and slouching in his chair. “Fucking bonding. I can’t believe it. The undercooked piece of seafood wants us to bond.”

“That octopus is a strange one,” remarks (Y/N) quietly, rocking backwards and forwards gently.

“Princess, he’s a literal octopus who walks and talks and flies at Mach 20. Strange does not even begin to cover it.”

“…” (Y/N) falls silent again.

The two are sitting together in the empty 3-E classroom. Door and windows are all tightly shut and locked.

“The attitude you two have will not do at all!” Koro-sensei had said, wagging a tentacle as a large cross appeared on his face. “Assassins must have the ability to set aside their differences and work together, and the two of you fighting will only drag the entire class down! So, I have devised a challenge for you two…”

“I can’t believe the octopus turned the mountain into an escape room.” Karma shakes his head. “If only you had a hairpin or something, I could-”

(Y/N) walks to Karma and brings a hairpin out of her pocket, wordlessly putting it in Karma’s hand.

Karma takes it, and bends it out of shape, inserting it into the lock and wiggling it around until he hears a click. “You do the honours, Princess.”

(Y/N) swings the door open…

They quickly run through the corridor, Karma reaching first and pushing the doors to the exit. “No use. It’s locked. You have another hairpin.

“No…that was my last one.” (Y/N) frowned. “There’s a key, right?”

“There is, in the staff room.”

“So, let’s go.”

“The key has to be somewhere in here,” says (Y/N).

“Let’s check.”

They turn the room upside down, but come up with no results, except for four strange pieces of paper, with various things written on them.

“…it’s not here.”

“It is,” responds Karma, pointing to the safe. It is locked with a six number code, which Karma doesn’t know.

“…there are a number of possibilities,” says (Y/N), tapping her foot anxiously. “If we try them all-”

“No can do, Princess.” Karma shakes his head. “We only get three tries for this kind of safe. And besides, trying them all would take ages.”

“…Koro-sensei…the paper …it must be a clue!” (Y/N) turns to Karma. “We have to solve this…!”

“Okay.” Karma snatches up one of the papers. “This one should be…” His bravado quickly fades when he realises that the entire thing is written in a foreign language. “…easy.”

“Give it to me.”

Karma hands it over to (Y/N). “I doubt you’ll be able to solve this one.”

“…” (Y/N) scans over the paper. “It…it seems to be written in French. I’m a little rusty, but it’s asking a question: what must an assassin always have?”

…So…she knows French, huh? “…Koro-sensei always tells us that an assassin must always have a second blade,” offers Karma. “As in a back-up plan, if the first should fail.”

“A second blade…” (Y/N) thinks aloud, tapping her foot (something she seems to do when she’s thinking).

“…what would the corresponding numbers for ‘blade’ be in the alphabet, if let’s say, a = 1, b = 2, and so on?” asks Karma

“…2, 12, 1, 4, 5,” (Y/N) says, after a moment’s thought.

Karma inputs the numbers ‘212145’ and tries to open the safe. “…Hey, did you translate that right?”

“No, I’m definitely not wrong.” (Y/N) shakes her head. “That is what the question says…”

“…well, what’s ‘blade’ in French?”

“It would be ‘la lame.’” (Y/N) frowns. “But technically, if you translate ‘la lame’ literally, it becomes ‘the blade’ rather than just ‘blade,’ so ‘blade’ is actually ‘lame’ rather than ‘la lame…’

Karma has it. He quickly inputs the numbers ‘121135,’ and the safe opens with a click, revealing a key.

“Wow…” (Y/N)’s eyes widen. “That was…pretty cool…”

“…heh…you warming up to me now, Princess?”

“…no, I’m not.” Her voice is unsure, and Karma’s heart leaps for no reason at all. “Come on, let’s go.”

“…that octopus is a strange on,” (Y/N) murmurs, repeating her earlier statement.

The entire of 3-E is surrounded by a tall (six meters if Karma has to make an estimate), metal fence, with no barbed wire thankfully, but it’s a fence all the same. The fence isn’t completely solid, though, more like a mesh, and Karma can see to the other side.

“Don’t tell me we have to unlock another door,” groans Karma.

“…no…” (Y/N) points. “I don’t think there is a door.”

Karma looks in the direction (Y/N) is pointing in. And on the floor, he sees a pole.

“Koro-sensei wants us to vault over it. He’s even kept cushioning on the other side, see?” Sure enough, Karma can see a large blue mat on the other side, along with a large rope. “One of us has to vault over, then toss the rope so that the other person can climb over.”

“Alright then, I’ll go-”

“No,” (Y/N) interrupts him forcefully. “I’ll go.”

“…Why?” demands Karma.

“Akabane, pole vaulting is dangerous without intense practice and training.” (Y/N) crosses her arms. “This fence is six meters at least, that’s Olympic levels.”

“And you’re suggesting that you’re capable?”

“…yes. I am.” (Y/N) takes a deep breath. “I’m very experienced in gymnastics and athletics, so something like this is right up my alley.”

“And how do I know you won’t just leave me here?” Karma challenges her.

“…you don’t. You’ll just have to trust me.”

“…” Trust. How can Karma trust someone like her?

But as he looks into her eyes, he can see no manipulation, no deceit. Just the cold hard truth.

“…Alright then. Take the lead, Princess.” Karma reluctantly picks up the pole, and hands it to (Y/N).

(Y/N) steps backwards, taking one breath, two breaths, three. Then she starts to run, eyes trained on her destination, and she brings the pole to the ground, launching herself over the fence, and landing on the mat, uninjured. She stands up, looking at Karma.

She’s going to leave now, Karma knows. She’s going to leave Karma behind, and it serves Karma right for believing in an Asano of all people–

(Y/N) tosses one end of the rope over the fence, ready for Karma to take so that he can finally make it to the other side. “Come on. Climb over before I graduate, yeah?”

…

THE NEXT DAY

…

“…Okano.”

Okano looks up from her lunch, glaring at (Y/N) who is standing before her. “What?”

“…Your cartwheels aren’t perfect,” says (Y/N), and Okano’s opens her mouth to spew a retort, but (Y/N) continues. “But they are very precise and controlled, which is impressive considering that you don’t train very intensely. You also look very graceful from an audience’s perspective, and you can also do multiple cartwheels in a sequence in a high speed, which is also takes a lot of effort. All in all, I would give your cartwheels an eight out of ten.”

“…so…is this your way of saying ‘sorry?’”

“I’m not apologising. I’m stating facts.”

“…” Okano cracks a small smile. “Thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome. And, one more thing.”

“…yeah?”

“When I eventually get back into Main, and yes, I will get back into Main, I’m planning on opening the cheerleading team to members of all classes, not just A, B, and C class,” (Y/N) tells her. “You’re welcome to come for try-outs, if you want to. I’m sure you’ll get in.”

This time, Okano’s grin is as bright as the sun.

(Y/N) turns around to face Karma, who was watching from a distance. “Hey, Akabane…you don’t mind if I sit with you for lunch, right?”

Karma smiles, genuinely “Sure thing, Princess.”

(Y/N) and Karma, a few days after ‘The Great Escape Room,’ become friends. One might think that a friendship between someone who is born of the system and someone who breaks the system is completely atypical and absurd, but Karma was never one for the typical anyway, and it would seem that (Y/N) completely agrees.

Today, Koro-sensei just handed back the quizzes they did a few days ago, right before break started, and Karma smiles in satisfaction as he once again looks at his paper with a large ‘96%’ written on it.

“Impressive,” compliments (Y/N), smiling.

“Thanks, Princess.” Karma gives her a lazy grin. He really couldn’t be bothered to, he knew he would ace it, and he did. “Hardly studied too. What did you get?”

“Oh, nothing remarkable.” To anyone else, her tone might sound dismissive, casual, but Karma knows her well enough to detect that underlying something that puts him on edge, so he snatches up her paper, and his eyes widen when he sees her ‘100%.’

Karma Akabane is second. The thought spins around in his head: second, second, second, second, second.

There is a sly smile on (Y/N)’s face. “Just because we’re all buddy-buddy now doesn’t mean I won’t kick your ass when I can, Akabane.” She laughs. “Or should I say, ‘Second Place?’”

“…you bitch,” growls Karma.

“Ooh, did I hurt your feewings~?” mocks (Y/N).

“Guys, you shouldn’t fight in here,” says Isogai nervously, seeing the look on Karma’s face. “Just because it’s break doesn’t make it a–”

Karma goes in for the kill, his fingers attacking (Y/N)’s sides and incessantly begins to tickle her with a dark grin on his face. “Take that!”

“Ahahahahha!” Tears pour out of (Y/N)’s eyes as she tries to push Karma off her, but fails, falling to the ground in the process. “Karma, stop!” she chokes out.

Karma grins. “Then beg me for mercy, Princess.”

“P-please…” Her eyes narrow. “Have a breath mint.” (Y/N) suddenly grabs Karma and flips him over, now on top of him.  “Time for reve-”

“In broad daylight?” remarks Bitch-sensei from the doorway, raising an eyebrow. “My my, you two are bold. Just use protection, ‘kay?”

“…” Realization slowly dawns on (Y/N)’s face. “I…I…NO!” She gets off Karma and leaps to her feet. “I would never!”

“Really?” The Bitch Supreme smirks. “Because it sure looked like it, honey.”

“I’m leaving!” (Y/N) storms out of the room in a huff.

Karma doesn’t bother to get up. He lies there, takes his time, pondering over what just happened…

He closes his eyes.

(Y/N) Asano, her image appears

Same as ever. Nothing different. Not at all.

(Is what Karma is telling himself, and it’s true. But his future self will never anticipate the magnetic pull, the backflips his heart makes, the butterflies in his stomach.)

“Ugh, today was so annoying.” (Y/N) rolls her eyes as she walks down the mountain with Karma. “Seriously, now everyone’s shipping us all because Bitch-sensei made it weird. Honestly. Us? A couple?” (Y/N) laughs.

Karma laughs along. “Yeah, could you imagine?”

Ridiculous, honestly.

“Gakushuu!” calls out (Y/N).

Oh no.

Oh no.

Karma quickly grabs (Y/N)’s arm and hisses in her ear, “(Y/N), why is that bastard here?”

(Y/N) slaps Karma’s arm. “I told him to walk with me. And don’t call my brother a bastard.”

“…” Ah. Karma had forgotten that the two were related.

“…(Y/N), why did you bring Akabane with you?” Asano barely does anything to hide the obvious repulsion in his voice.

“Look.” (Y/N) crosses her arms. “Karma’s gonna be hanging around me a lot more now, so I want you both to get along. So be polite. Both of you.”

“He abandoned you,” Karma points out, his voice rising. “He left you to rot in the rain like a stray do-”

“You don’t know anything about me, or (Y/N).” Asano’s eyes flash with anger. “So, I suggest you kindly shut your trap-”

“Let’s just go.” (Y/N) begins to walk the way to her home. “Try to keep up.”

The two boys exchange one last glare, before following (Y/N).

(Y/N) walks much faster than them, and thus, she is now several feet ahead of the two, and safely out of earshot, allowing the boys to argue.

“Let me make one thing clear, Akabane,” says Asano, glaring. “If you intend to hang around my sister, I will not make it easy for you.”

Karma smirks. “Well, I like a good challenge anyway~”

“My sister is not a challenge,” Asano spits. “She’s a person, with fee–”

“What’s that I hear about me?”

You know what Karma said before about being safely out of earshot?

He takes it back.

Does she have super-hearing?

“Can you two not spend two minutes in the same place without fighting?” (Y/N) sighs. “You both are like toddlers, honestly. Well, Karma, you’re on your own now, since we’ve reached our destination. And I’m never walking with the both of you again.”

“I told you,” say Karma and Asano in unison.

(Y/N) laughs a little. “Well, see you tomorrow, Karma.”

“Why did you forgive him?”

“He’s my brother,” answers (Y/N) nonchalantly as they walk up the mountain together.

“He still abandoned you,” Karma points out indignantly. “Are you really gonna make it that easy?”

“…there’s stuff,” mutters (Y/N). “Hard to explain. But he cares about me. And I care about him.”

“…If that’s what you say…”

Maehara asks (Y/N) The Question on a warm, sunny day, while they are all outside.

“Hey (Y/N), how are you so smart?”

“…” She frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, I always figured that cheerleaders were supposed to be…dumb?” Maehara laughs awkwardly. “I mean, that’s how it is, right?”

“…Hollywood,” (Y/N) sighs. “There isn’t a single thing it hasn’t managed to fuck up.”

She brings out her phone, and quickly selects a playlist. Upbeat, fast music begins to play.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show! We’re reaching for the top, and we’ll never fall below!”

(Y/N) then does a series of backflips so fast that Karma’s sight begins to blur, and then does some different jumps that makes her audience hold their breath, seemingly defying gravity.

A show indeed.

The music stops, and (Y/N) bows down to her audience, and Karma, along with a bunch of others, claps hard.

“Does that answer your question?” asks (Y/N), looking straight at Maehara. “…Yeah, it does.”

“People think cheerleading is easy,” (Y/N) tells Karma, later. “And as you can tell, they’re wrong.” She smiles. “My dad first told me that cheerleading was a stupid career choice, and I would be better off investing my time somewhere else. And now today, my cheerleading team has won every competition they’ve taken part in.” She laughs. “Not going to lie, I did a great job.”

“How humble.”

“Oh, shut it, strawberry.” (Y/N) playfully pushes him. “But let that be a lesson: if you work hard enough, nothing can bring you down.”

Thoughts.

That’s all they were.

Silly little thoughts that would pop into Karma’s head annoyingly from time to time, easy to brush off, easy to ignore.

But thoughts will turn into feelings, and feelings are a part of who you are.

The day (Y/N) truly becomes a part of Karma is burned into Karma’s brain.

Today is burned into Karma’s brain.

There are 365 days in a year, and listing out what happened in all of those days would frankly be ridiculous and time consuming, so maybe it would be best to pick out what stands out the most in Karma’s mind…

…

THE FIELD TRIP

…

At this point in time, E-class is in their trip to Kyoto, and this particular moment is the long awaited ‘gossip time…’

“Sounds like a party in here,” Karma remarks as he walks into the room, holding a cup of tea.

“Karma, great timing,” says Isogai. “Which of the girls in our class do you like?”

“…” Karma pays no attention to the paper handed to him, saying the first name that comes to mind: “I believe I’ll have to go with Okuda.”

“Bullshit!” groans Okajima, unsatisfied with Karma’s answer. “Everyone and their grandmothers know you have the hots for (Y/N)!”

“That isn’t true,” says Karma as casually as possibly.

“Bullshit liar, bullshit liar, bullshit liar!” Maehara jeers.

Karma knows opportunity when he sees it, and in this case, he sees it when Koro-sensei peers into the room with a pink, blushing face, noting something down in a notebook.

“Maybe you should be more worried about him.” Karma points at his poor victim.

Almost immediately, the room dissolves into chaos, everyone sans Karma and Nagisa drawing their knives and going after their target.

Karma simply sips at his tea, smiling and revelling in the chaos.

He steps outside to see all boys and girls attacking Koro-sensei, said teacher dodging their attacks at Mach 20, and Karma leans casually leaning against the wall.

“Hey Karma, don’t tell me he spied on you guys too,” says (Y/N) from beside him, looking at the destruction. Karma jumps a little; he hadn’t noticed her.

“Alright, I won’t.”

“Jesus.” (Y/N) rolls her eyes. “I see you aren’t attacking him.”

“Got nothing to hide,” says Karma (lying; he’s very good at it). “And I could say the same about you. You have no secrets either, huh.”

“…heh…” (Y/N) looks right at Karma and smirks. “Nah. I’m just very good at keeping secrets.”

(Karma wonders if drinking insecticide will kill the butterflies in his stomach.)

…

THE CAVE

…

Now, obviously there’s the island incident. The 3-E students got poisoned, Nagisa beat up Takoka, blah, blah, blah.

No one gives a shit about that, so let’s move onto Koro-sensei’s infamous matchmaking scheme (on of many to come): The haunted cave.

Karma and (Y/N) both walk through the cave, the candle Karma’s holding lighting their way. “How much do you bet this is some stupid matchmaking scheme?” says (Y/N), sounding exasperated.

“My firstborn child,” Karma jokes.

“Thought so.” (Y/N) sighs. “That octopus is never gonna give up.”

“Never gonna let you down, never gonna-”

“Shut it.”

They walk in a comfortable silence for a while, before (Y/N) asks another question. Well, it’s less of a question, and more of a statement.

“You’re afraid of Nagisa, aren’t you?”

Karma stiffens. She’s good. “What do you mean? Me, scared of Nagisa?”

“Don’t bullshit me, Karma,” sniffs (Y/N). “You looked scared to death back there with that battle with Takaoka.”

“…you got me there, Princess,” admits Karma.

“Can’t blame you there. He was pretty scary back there.”

“I know, right? And he’s like a mouse most of the time, who’da thunk that he’d have turned out like…like that!” Karma laughs bitterly. “Just goes to show that things you’re the least afraid of are the most dangerous…”

“Everything’s dangerous, Karma,” points out (Y/N). “I mean, I’m dangerous too.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re strong, I know that.”

“It’s not about who can beat you up, Karma. People can ruin you without even laying a hand on you.” (Y/N) narrows her eyes. “All it really takes is a few well-placed rumours and a few leaked secrets to make the world burn.” She sighs. “It’s the mistake a lot of people make, really. It’s so easy to forget. In today’s world, violence will only get you so far. It’s about how well you can mess with people.”

“…you seem to know a lot about messing with people, Princess,” Karma notes.

“Heh.” (Y/N) smirks. “And what are you going to do about that?”

“You shevil.”

“Thank you, darling,” she drawls in response, grinning.

Oh shit, it’s the butterflies again.

Perhaps you have a good picture of their friendship now. Strong, passionate…

The news hits Karma like a truck.

“What do you mean, you’re going back to Main?” Karma demands.

“I just got the letter.” (Y/N) doesn’t make eye contact with Karma, she instead looks down at her feet.  “I’m going back, Karma. Today’s my last day in E-class.”

“So, you’re just going to abandon us?” spat Karma. “You’re going to abandon me?”

The look on her face is like a knife straight through his heart.

“I…I’m not abandoning you.” Her voice is soft. “You all are really precious to me…you’re precious to me, Karma.”

“Then why?” Karma’s voice cracks. “I thought you cared about this. I thought you cared about the assassination. I thought those moments we had actually meant something to you-”

“They do! They mean everything to me! Things are complicated, Karma. I can’t stay…”

“Then prove it.” Karma’s voice is cold. “Prove to me that you aren’t lying, Princess.”

Karma didn’t know what he expected.

A hug? A tear-filled confession of friendship?

But he certainly didn’t expect (Y/N) pulling him in for a kiss.

Karma is a smart person, but he thinks, in this very moment, this is how it feels to be dumb. This is how it feels to have your head empty.

No thoughts, just (Y/N).

He kisses back.

“…” There are a few precious seconds of silence, after (Y/N) stops kissing Karma. “I…” (Y/N) takes a breath. “I’ll be in the cheer club after schools.”

She turns around and begins walking away, and Karma’s brain screams at him to say something, anything, but as you would have it, he stood there, voice gone.

What a shevil she is.

Stealing Karma’s heart and running away the second she kisses him.

Well, Karma supposes he’ll have to steal her heart as well, just to get even~

The Cheer Club, she said.

That’s in the sports hall, isn’t it?

She’ll be happy to see him, right?

Right?

The door is already open, so Karma peeks in, to see…

(Y/N) is on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Karma has never seen her in such a vulnerable state before, and it almost feels like he’s peeking in on something private, not meant for his eyes.

(Y/N) shakes someone’s body, tears streaming down her face. “Aiko? Wake up! You need to wake up!” Around her, many more bodies are scattered, and Karma realises with a jolt that they belong to girls. Actual girls.

“They were weak.”

Ah.

The Principal.

He looms above (Y/N), looking down on her disapprovingly as she cries. “You allowed yourself to become weak, and in the process, you made them weak,” he tells her. It feels like they’re in the middle of a conversation. “While you were in E-class, their performance declined, bit by bit, until I had to…step in.”

“They weren’t ready,” (Y/N) chokes out. “They couldn’t take it. You killed them!”

“Now, now, you shouldn’t exaggerate so. There are a few broken bones here and there, but they’ll come out of this stronger. You’ll come out of this stronger.” The smile on his face is truly terrifying.

Just when Karma thinks that this possibly can’t get any worse, (Y/N) looks at him, glances at him from the corner of his eyes, and mouths, go.

By god Karma wants to stay.

But he doesn’t know anything.

So he goes.

An ambulance comes afterwards, and (Y/N) and Karma help carry (Y/N)’s Main Campus friends to the ambulance beds.

And when all is said and done, she collapses into Karma’s arms and cries.

…

THE NEXT DAY

…

“…So…” They sit together on a bench in a park. Karma licks a cone of strawberry ice-cream aimlessly. “Complicated?”

“Yeah.” (Y/N) sighs. “We’re not your standard textbook dysfunctional family, Karma. We’re functionally dysfunctional, if that makes sense.” She leans into him a little, resting her weary bones. “He’s more of a teacher than a father.” Karma can sense the obvious hurt in that last sentence. “Living with him is like walking on eggshells. I always feel like a disappointment, always feel like I’m weak…”

“Well, then, the solutions obvious, then isn’t it?” says Karma. “Live with me.”

“…huh?”

“Live with me.” Karma grins. “And bring your asshole brother along with you while you’re at it. Let’s really piss him off.”

“…” A wide grin slowly appears on (Y/N)’s face. “You genius! I could just kiss you right now!”

“Then do it.” Karma leans forward, closer to (Y/N). “I dare you.”

“…bastard.”

And so, she takes the dare, and there’s no one in the world except for them.

[katnisspeetaprim]

High Risk

A.N. So I hope you don't mind but I'm using the Suchwita couple for this request since its fits with theor story line! So this would be part 3 of that series. (Link to part 1!) Plus I know nothing about pregnancy, just the basics so take it with a pinch of salt!

Warnings: pregnancy, complications, angst

Word Count: 3070 M.list

You and Yoongi, along with BigHit all decided that it would be best to keep your pregnancy private from the public, at least until you really started showing.

You wanted to keep working for as long as possible and Yoongi agreed. He knew you would be miserable and depressed just sitting at home alone, so he was supportive of you continuing to work, as long as you didn’t do anything too strenuous or stressful. You were currently 6, almost 7 months pregnant and you were definitely showing. Your team had taken to dressing you in exclusively baggy and oversized outfits, even having you sit down on stage and blaming it on illness.

You knew you would have to go on hiatus soon and Yoongi would also do so at the same time. You had to admit, you were excited. You and Yoongi barely had time off together, so suddenly getting to spend a few months together, then meet your baby at the end of it? It sounded like heaven on Earth.

‘Are you finished for the night?’ Yoongi spoke down the phone.

‘Yeah.’ You sighed. ‘Finally. Pre-recordings are always so boring.’ Yoongi chuckled. He knew you had always struggle with the boring stuff that came with being an idol, mainly the hours of waiting and doing nothing, especially now that you were pregnant, sitting around for hours were pure torture.

‘Y/N! Are you coming?’ Your group leader, Yuna, called over to you. You were all pretty tired after being at the studio all day, so you wasted little time changing into loungewear before you leave.

‘I’m coming! Yoon I have to go. I’ll see you in a couple days?’

‘Yeah I should go too. I love you.’

‘Love you too! Bye babe!’

‘How are you doing Y/N?’ The youngest in the group, Mallory, asked. You smiled at her as she placed her hand on your stomach.

‘Nothing I can’t handle.’ You chuckled.

‘YAH! Hurry up you two! We want to leave!’ chi, the fourth and final member of your group yelled out impatiently.

‘OK, ok! We’re coming!’

The four of you were waiting at the V.O.P exit, when your manager walked back in with a perplexed look on his face.

‘What’s wrong?’ Yuna stepped forwards.

‘It’s not good. There are a lot of fans and reporters out there.’ He sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.

‘Do they have nothing better to do? It’s like 1AM..’ Chi scoffed in frustration. Mallory nudged her shoulder and caste her a look.

‘So what do we do?’

‘We don’t have a choice but to push through. Y/N, will you be alright?’ Everyone turned to you, now realising you had been quiet the whole time. You bought your hands to your stomach protectively.

‘Well... We don’t have a choice...’ You trailed off, unconvinced by the situation.

‘The security will keep you safe Y/N, don’t worry!’ Mallory put her arm round your shoulders in an attempt to comfort you, though it did nothing to soothe your nerves.

‘Ok. Keep moving and don’t stop. The car isn’t far. Let’s go!’

You and the girls held onto each other as you pushed through the screaming crowd. You thought fans  had gotten better in recent years, as in the fact that they didn’t crowd round idols like this anymore.... Seems like you were wrong...

There was no barrier, so the crowd was basically rubbing up against you all and your lowly security guard was no match for the immense crowd.

You were almost to the car when you suddenly felt someone tightly grab your arm and forcefully yank you towards them. The shock of being grabbed and the force in which they did it, caught you completely off guard. Time felt like it was moving in slow motion as you felt yourself falling to the ground with a loud SMACK!

‘Y/N!’ You heard your group mates calling out for you, and you could only watch in horror as they all got whisked away by your manager.

The people around you started to crowd you even more, and started to roughly grab at you whilst you were on the ground. You’re sure they didn’t mean to, but you suddenly felt something hard hit into your stomach, causing you to let out a strangled gasp.

Your curled up into a ball in an attempt to protect yourself, but it was getting to be too much. You couldn’t breathe and you were in a lot of pain. You just wanted to see Yoongi.

You heard someone yelling out and shouting your name, before you completely blacked out.

You woke with a start, panicking when you didn’t immediately recognise your surroundings, but soon realised you were in a hospital bed.

You groaned in pain when you tried to sit up, so you stayed down. It was only then that you felt someone sitting at your bed side.

‘Yoongi...’ You whispered, voice hoarse. His head was laid out on his arms on the edge of your bed. His hair was a mess and you could tell he’d haphazardly thrown on whatever clothes were closest to him. You stretched your arm out and rested your hand on his head, gently stroking across his hair.

Yoongi stirred at your touch and his eyes parted slightly, before falling again. You couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at his tired state. it was when he hear your quiet laughter that his eyes shot open and he sprung up when he realised you were awake.

‘Y/N! Oh my god!’ He reached forwards and took your face in his hands, only to begin peppering kisses all over your face.

You clung to his arms as he hovered over you..

‘Yoongi...’ You whimpered, suddenly feeling emotional. He pulled back and stroked your forehead. You frowned up at him as you began to feel claustrophobic laying down on your back, so with a groan you once again tried to pull yourself up. Yoongi jumped in to help when he saw you wince in pain.

‘Easy! You’ve been out for a few hours.’ He fluffed your pillows up behind you, before sitting back down and dragging his chair closer to the bed.

‘Yuna and the girls stayed for a while, but your manager took them home to get rest.’ Yoongi explained to you whilst reaching for your hand.

‘God I feel rough right now...’ You groaned out as you grabbed at your head.

‘There’s something else too...’ Yoongi trailed off. You looked up and saw that he had a solemn look on his face.

‘What is it? Please tell me the other girls didn’t get hurt!’

‘No they are all fine.’ You sighed in relief. ‘When I got here, the doctors told me that you were bleeding...’ You stared at him for a second, mulling over his words, when you felt your blood run cold.

‘What do you mean bleeding!?’ You stuttered out, already feeling the beginnings of a panic attack coming on. Yoongi immediately picked up on your change of state, and once again stood and enveloped you in a hug.

‘Yoongi- our baby-‘

‘Easy, easy. The baby’s fine!.’  He gently stroked your hair as you tried to control your breathing.

‘You were bleeding but they stopped it. The doctor wanted to speak to both of us when you woke up.’ Yoongi explained gently and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, whilst you cradled your swollen stomach.

‘Go get them.’

Not 10 minutes later, the doctor was stood at the end of your bed, while you held Yoongi’s hand in a vice like grip.

‘how are you feeling Mrs. Min?’

‘Awful. Yoongi said you wanted to speak to us?’ You wanted to get right to the point and get the hell ou of there.

‘Well... I’m sure Yoongi told you about the bleeding?’ You both nodded.

‘Well we checked you over and the baby is fine... However because of the blow you took the baby i under a lot of stress, so we’re concerned that you could become high risk.’ You face fell at the doctors words and you squeezed his had even tighter, as if that were possible.

‘So... What does that mean?’ You timidly asked.

‘I’m strongly suggesting you go on maternity immediately, and stay on bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy.’ Your face fell. This was exactly what you were trying to avoid. You heard Yoongi quietly thank the doctor as they left the room. The click of the door was all it took for you to burst into tears.

‘Jagi, please don’t cry. You’re ok.’ Yoongi soothed.

‘I know I’m being stupid, but I feel so awful right now.’ You sobbed out. Your maternity date was coming up soon anyway, but you thought you would at least be able to go on your own terms..

Yoongi was trying his best to comfort you, but it was all falling on deaf ears.

Without warning, you shoved Yoongi away and swung your legs over the side of the bed, only stopping when a sharp pain shot across your abdomen.

‘Ah!’

‘Hey stop! What are you doing?’ He scrambled to stop you, not wanting you to hurt yourself even more.

‘Did you drive here?’ You snapped harshly.

‘Y-yeah but-‘

‘Then take me home. I’m not staying here a second longer.’ Yoongi was taken aback by your sudden harsh tone, but scarpered away to find you a wheelchair. He knew he shouldn’t take you snapping at him to heart, you were just upset and scared and probably in pain.

You hated feeling useless and you were stubborn too, so Yoongi knew that keeping you in bed for the next 2 months was going to be a real chore... But he would be with you ever step of the way.

Afew hours later, Yoongi had contacted your manager on your behalf to explain the situation. The man explained that he would contact Yoongi’s manager and gt back to him with a plan. They had asked Yoongi if he would be returning to work, but he out right refused, knowing that you needed him more than ever right now.

As Yoongi hung up the phone, he noticed he’d been sent the link to a news article by Hoseok.

Hobi: Thought you would want to know what actually happened. :/

When Yoongi clicked on the article, he was disgusted at what he saw. There was a video of the incident and he watched in horror as people basically trampled all over you. You could have been killed, pregnant or not. Needless to say, seeing that video did nothing to improve his mood. He glanced at the time on his phone and sighed. It was just past 7AM and he’d been up for nearly 24 hours at this point. He was exhausted. You’d already gone to bed and he was about to join you. He left his phone on the kitchen table. If someone needed him, then they would have to come to the house and physically drag him out of bed.

Since you and Yoongi had both dropped off the face of the Earth, everyone was worried. They all wanted to come and see you, but also wanted to give you space during this time.

It was around mid day when you decided you couldn’t sleep anymore, but you couldn’t get up either. Yoongi was still sleeping soundly beside you, so you picked up your phone, only to be met with a wall of text messages from your group and also BTS.

You were moved by their concerned and caring messages, so much so that it bought happy tears to your eyes.

‘Jagi? Why are you crying? Are you in pain?’ Yoongi’s worried voice pulled you rom your trance. He was now sat up and moved closer so he could cuddle you. You turned to him and smiled.

‘No I’m fine. Just our friends being sickeningly sweet.’ Yoongi smiled himself as he read the messages over your shoulder.

‘I called your manager earlier by the way.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah he’s going to talk to mine and get back to us today.’ Yoongi explained while stroking your back.

‘Are they gonna put out a statement?’ You asked hesitantly. You’d done so well to hide your pregnancy till this point, and you’d hoped to hide it a little longer, but if the company thought it beast to announce it, then so be it.

‘Yeah. They’ll probably email the draft over.’ There was a beat of silence.

‘I told them I’m not going back to work.’ Yoongi suddenly dropped, causing you to snap your eyes to him in shock.

‘What!? Why would you do that!?’

‘You and the baby is my number one right now. I’d never forgive myself if something happened and I wasn’t here... Again..’ You cringed at the word again. You knew Yoongi felt guilty for not being there to protect you, even though he was on the other side of the city at the time. You obviously didn’t blame him for what happened. You scooted forwards as best you could and stroked his cheek.

‘Yoongi... What happened wasn’t your fault.’

‘I know. But I want to be here with you.’ You smiled sadly and leaned over to peck his lips, before smirking. You trailed your hand down from his face, and rested it just below his stomach, running your fingers along the hem of his boxers.

‘In that case, I’m glad I get you to myself for the next few months.’ You teased in an attempt to lighten the mood. He laughed at your implication and moved your hand away.

‘Don’t make jokes like that when you can’t deliver!’

A few hours later, you and Yoongi received the statement, now all you had to do was give it the green light. No going back now.

With bated breath, you waited anxiously for the statement to go live.

You’d learned long ago to not look at online comments and that wasn’t about to change now, but it was hard to avoid completely.

You felt like a weight was lifted from your shoulders when the positive reactions to your pregnancy started rolling in. You even got congratulatory messages from other idols and celebrities alike, which was sweet.

You found that in more recent years, fans online tended to have better reactions to things like this than they did years ago. Maybe it was because they’d grown up, or just  became more mature over time. Whatever it was, you were thankful.

You remember a time back in the day when people online were convinced you and Taemin from SHINee were dating, all because he picked up your dropped cue cards for you. The hate you got was insane to say the least, so much so that both BigHit and SM put out statements denying any involvement between the two of you.

Being on bed rest wasn’t nearly as bad as you first thought it would be. Now being 9 months pregnant, your group mates had made time on several occasions to visit you and make sure Yoongi was looking after you. They would give him hell if he wasn’t.

You’d also started doing live streams at around the 8 month mark, entertaining yourself by talking and laughing with your fans.

You were currently doing a live wilst Yoongi worked in his home studio, when something began to feel off.

Where is Yoongi? You read from the chat.

‘Yoongi is working in the other room. We aren’t attached at the hip guys.’ You chuckled as you watched the chat, hand subconsciously stroking over your belly.

‘I’ve been feeling much better after resting, thanks for asking!’

The door suddenly opened and Yoongi popped his head inside with a smile.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey. I bought you food.’ We walked over and handed you a plat with a sandwich.

‘Look at this guys, no prompt or anything.’ You smirked, teasing your husband.

‘You’re lucky I love you.’ He mumbled under his breath.

‘What was that?’ You teased again, cupping your ear with your hand. He just shook his head and rolled his eyes with a laugh, before leaning down and briefly waving to the camera.

‘just call me if you need anything, ok?’ he gave you a pointed look before leaving the room.

‘Thank you~~ Love you!’ You called after him in  a sing song voice.

Not long after Yoongi left the room, you suddenly felt a twinge in your stomach. It was sharp and sudden, so it made you audibly gasp and reach out to grab the portable table in front of you.

The fans in the chat immediately became concerned, spamming their worried messages.

‘Yeah- I-I’m fine I-‘ You cut yourself off when you felt wetness coat your thighs and the bed beneath you.

‘Oh my God!’ You gasped out. Your waters had just broken while you were doing a live stream. You didn’t even think to reassure your fans as you quickly ended the live.

‘Yoongi!’ You called out with a strangled cry, in hopes that he wasn’t working with his headphones on. Your worries were eased when you heard hurried foot steps approaching, before the door swung open.

���What is it!?’ He was slightly out of breath from running back and forth. You tried to smile through the pain as you looked to him.

‘My waters just broke.’ His eyes widened and he was by your side in an instant.

‘Do we go to the hospital?’

‘No it’s too early.’ You laughed at his concern. You knew that he was well aware that it was too early to leave, after all he’d been reading every bit of media about pregnancy he could get his hands on.

‘Can you just help e to clean up please?’ He grumbled at the thought of waiting, but he started to pull you up to help you none the less. Yoongi held tightly to your arms as he guided you to the shower. Your heart swelled as he lovingly helped you strip out of your soiled clothes and helped you get clean.

Now you were sat in the living room, whilst Yoongi timed your contractions.

Will you call our parents when it’s time?’ You asked with shaky breath, now beginning to be affected more by the pain.

‘Already done.’ You smiled at his efficiency and continued your breathing exercises. It was going to be a long night!

[bangtanhoneys]

The Grammy's - Part Two

Part 1 l Part 3

The GRAMMY’s.

The Grammy Awards are awards presented by the Recording Academy of the United States to recognise “outstanding” achievements in the music industry…if you believed what you read on Wikipedia and if you didn’t see the artists who had brought exceptional change to the music industry like Lana Del Ray, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry and even Diana Ross.

BTS were included in that list of people who had changed the music industry, had made Billboard change their rules every time they brought out a new single or album, had streaming numbers no one else had and yet for all the Grammy nominations, performances and making an appearance, there was no Grammy. 

Until they had received a notification from Bang-PD to their phones, though five of those messages had been delayed in getting to their recipients. 

Grammy Nominations have come through - Grace has got 3. 

7 Rings - Record of the Year

In My Head - Album of the Year

7 Rings - Best Pop Solo Performance. 

Each had a different reaction to the news, which was understandable. At first, there was elation over the fact that at least one of them got a Grammy nod, second was amazement that she had scored three big major categories and then worry mixed in with disappointment. Why hadn’t they had the nomination? Whether solo or as a group, the Grammy’s had left a bitter taste in their mouths. 

Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin knew Grace would flat-out refuse to perform or even go to the awards. They knew her back to front - her loyalty stood with the group and if they weren’t getting a nomination, then neither would she. 

However, this was a defining moment in her career, their careers, their history and for the country. 

And for those who knew what kind of start Grace had, this would be the perfect way to celebrate that career. 

She started as an admin assistant, straight out of school and into employment with Big Hit Entertainment who then saw that she could do ballet dancing, and ballroom dancing, who could sing though that skill was untouched, spoke perfect English, could speak German as well and had all the charm of an idol.

Yet there was no place for her. 

Everyone knew Bang PD wanted a hip-hop group and that’s what he started with in Namjoon, then Yoongi and Hobi. Grace was added as a backup for the ability to sing their ad-libs and rap alongside them without any problem. Then along came Seokjin & Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin and suddenly they were an idol group. 

A woman shouldn’t be doing hip-hop with a boy group and so she had signed a two album contract which had left her on tenterhooks as to whether all the skills she had gained while working with Bangtan Sonyeondan would now be worthless. But along came Skool Luv Affair and Dark & Wild and everything fell into place. 

Now they couldn’t see the group without their eldest member, the only female, their noona. The woman who protected them in every sense of the word and who had always been there for their solo projects and careers. Her own started very late after their military careers had started so she had full reign of being the BTS representative. 

If her upcoming tour was a testament to how well her solo career had taken off, then a Grammy nomination would just solidify that. 

Updates were coming in every day and then it was the date of the Grammy Awards themselves. Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung, Namjoon & Yoongi were given special permission for absence of leave for two days so Seokjin planned a private viewing party just for the boys, their close friends who knew Grace as well and some of their team. 

Seokjin had been up till late preparing snacks and food as the Grammy’s would start at 10am their time. There was plenty of alcohol covering his kitchen counter and there was food everywhere when Hobi had arrived first.

“Hyung, have you been stress cooking again?” 

Seokjin paused where he was putting out plates and cups, chilling the expensive alcohol that had been gifted to him by someone and making sure there was enough kimchi in the container. Multitasking at its finest. 

“Maybe? I can’t help it. I’m nervous, more for Grace than anyone else.”

Hobi sighed, having had the same conversation with every other member of the team and Grace herself. She had massive reservations about attending and performing, believing it all to be a big farce so they could have big viewing numbers. 

“I know, but noona will be fine. She’s a lot stronger than us and a loss at the Grammy’s won’t affect her like it did us. As she said, as long as her performance is killer, who cares.”

Nothing more could be said as the front door opened and the rest of his boys poured through, Jungkook first then the rest following with bags of more food and alcohol. 

“How drunk are you all getting?” Hobi laughed, receiving hugs and pats on the back as he looked at the various sized bags that were being dumped in the kitchen.

“It would have been more but Yoongi-hyung stopped us,” Taehyung shrugged as he dropped his bag and then lifted his arm, flexing it to show off his muscles which caused Jimin to roll his eyes and push at him. “We’ve all got muscles. It hasn’t been that long since Hobi-hyung has seen us.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Yoongi and Namjoon asked Seokjin at the same time, causing the two to pause, look at each other then back at their hyung. 

Jungkook, while looking every inch the military man he had become, had wrapped his arms around Seokjin and pushed his face into his back.

“Nervous,” Seokjin admitted while patting Jungkook’s hands. “I’m more nervous for her than about the whole thing. But I know she can handle it. It’s just a big thing.”

“For everyone,” Namjoon smiled slightly and reached over to give Seokjin’s shoulder a squeeze, causing the man to squawk at how strong that grip had become. “Ah, sorry hyung.”

“Come on, let’s get the TV sorted before everyone else comes. And start cracking the bottles open hyung, let the champagne breathe before we get started,” Yoongi grinned as he took control of the situation, shooing people to start doing jobs.

Even though it was early in the morning and most people had been up all night working, everyone was in bright spirits as the coffee churned. The living room was filled with about 20 people, some on the couch, some on the floor, some on chairs they had brought over. Jungkook had even stolen the spare mattress in the other room and had laid it out on the floor for some.

BTS, however, had taken control of the couch. 

They barely listened to the people talking on the screen as they all settled down with their various glasses of drink though Seokjin, Hobi and Namjoon had stuck to iced coffee for now. They wanted to be sober enough to get to her performance before drinking any type of alcohol.

Their phones went off at the same time.

“Oh my god, look at her!”

Taehyung lifted his phone up and began showing it around to the others. Sejin had sent a picture of Grace between her parents, dressed in her Elie Saab dress and made up to the nines as her father stood in a suit to her left and her mother stood to her right in a gold dress. They all matched perfectly to what Grace was wearing. 

Messages quickly flew out of good luck, hope it all goes well, kill the stage, etc. None were read by Grace but Sejin sent a thumbs up emoji back with a winky face. 

There was silence in the room as they watched the red carpet, pointing out the various celebrities they knew of or had met. They had immediately spotted Liam McEwan, one of the reporters who they actually liked. And then they saw Bang PD step out of the car with Grace’s parents, a member of staff leading them past the red carpet and inside.

“Here we go,” Seokjin muttered as Namjoon’s hand squeezed his shoulder again, a bit more gently this time. 

The noise from the crowd was instantaneous. 

Hands reached forward for the remote control to turn down the volume a bit as screams were heard, many heads turned as the camera switched to Liam McEwan. “Everybody, Grace Chu from BTS has arrived! The queen is here.”

The boys held their breath until the camera caught up with where it was meant to be, showing Grace in front of the Grammy backdrop, cameras flashing in her eyes as she smiled for the photographers. The dress sparkled each time the camera flashed and then she was moved along, straight towards Liam. 

“Seee! Told you she could do it,” Yoongi said as he raised his glass of whiskey, not at all a bit tipsy as Jungkook reached over and filled it up for him. When did he get started on that?

“She hasn’t even gotten inside yet hyung,” Jimin laughed, already opening another bottle of champagne as if Grace had already won her three awards and had been crowned Queen of Korea. 

Seokjin and Namjoon as well as Hobi, the only three who had been determined not to drink until the end, slowly sipped on their iced coffee and laughed as they watched an excited maknae open Taehyung’s bottle of wine for him. 

“But she’s won everyone over! I mean, that dress is amazing on her,” Taehyung said as he stood, pushing over Jimin who spilled himself into Hobi’s lap. Obviously, a career in the military had done nothing to dampen their enthusiasm. 

Taehyung stood next to the large TV screen, pointing at various parts of her dress. “I mean, it’s pretty low. I wonder who signed that off but either way, she looks amazing. And look! Cleavage! No one has seen noona with cleavage yet.”

Yoongi groaned, covering his eyes. “Don’t mention Grace and cleavage in the same sentence. I’m not drunk enough yet.”

Seokjin hid a grin behind his hand and tried not to chuckle, ignoring Hobi who was cackling into his back and Namjoon who stood ready to defend his noona’s honour until he was pulled back down. 

“What?” Taehyung asked, grinning. “Okay, okay. But this is history in the making here. She’s got everyone eating out of her hand already and she’s not even inside yet. Is that Taylor Swift she’s saying hello to? Oh, it's Nicki Minaj. Ah, another collab being set up there.”

“Tae,” Seokjin started and threw a napkin at him. “Sit down before your eyes turn into the same shape as the TV. You’re blocking the view as well.”

There were plenty of voices who agreed with him as Tae pouted and sat back down, ignoring the maknae line’s giggles. 

The next time they saw Grace was sitting with her parents in the main room, taking a glass of water and gulping it down before Sejin and the Grammy team led her away. 

“Oh this is it,” Jungkook whispered as he somehow managed to squeeze in next to Seokjin. If there were two people in the room who were close to Grace and could feel her nerves from here, it would be them. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to 5-time Grammy nominated member of BTS, Grace Chu,” the loud announcement came.

“Okay. This is it,” Namjoon said as he went into leader mode. “Everyone shut up and let’s enjoy it.” Nothing more needed to be said as everyone went into quiet mode, 20 sets of eyes on the TV that showed a black curtain being lifted as the opening to the Sound of Music’s ‘Favourite Things’ was being played by a small orchestra, dressed in black dinner suits and dresses.

Jungkook reached over and held onto Seokjin’s hand tight.

Each light in the middle came on to show her standing there, in her blazer dress that was very short but presentable and caused some uproar from the boys the moment they saw it but a quick look from Namjoon and they settled again. 

Her eyes met the camera as it slowly zoomed in and she gave a small smile as she started to sing, four female dancers walking on stage to meet her dressed in white suits. 

“My wrist, stop watchin’, my neck is flossy,” Grace and Jungkook sang at the same time, though he did it under his breath as he watched the choreography on the TV. By the time the chorus came, the four female dancers spread further apart to allow the seven male dancers to come alongside though they were dressed in matching black suits.

“Wearing a ring, but ain’t gon’ be no Mrs,” Grace sang as she flashed her left hand, wiggling slightly causing Jimin and Taehyung to giggle.

There were more outrage noises when it came to the second pre-chorus, the female dancers were back as the lyrics “my smile is beamin’, my skin is gleamin’” were sung but instead of Grace doing the usual choreography that the boys were used to, it had been changed for American tv.

All five women turned and leaned forward, resting heads on backsides as Grace shifted hands to turn her head towards the camera as she sang the rest of the lyrics, “the way it shine, I know you’ve seen it” as her hand went down the thigh of the dancer who she was resting on. 

“I bought a crib just for the closet,” Grace sang as she rightened herself, not paying attention to the crowd’s delighted noises or what her parents were going to think. Right now, it was a cause of getting through this song to get to the rap part and then done.

All dancers were back for the chorus and Yoongi, Hobi and Namjoon shifted towards the edge of the seat. They had seen the many comments around this song and whether Grace could perform the rap part live, since it was so fat, not realising she covered their rap parts with ease when they needed her to. 

“When you see them racks, they stacked up like my ass yeah,” she sang/rapped, turning her body a little to camera to show her hand grabbing a chunk of her backside to match the lyrics. She then fully turned to the camera, the dancers in formation on either side of her as she continued the verse.

“Shoot, go from the store to the booth. Make it all back in one loop, gimmie the loot,” she continued as she danced her way through the verse without stopping to take a breath.

In complete jubilation, every single person in Seokjin’s living room sang along with her.

“Nevermind I got the juice. Nothing but net when we shoot. Look at my neck, look at my jet!”

“Ain’t got enough money to pay me respect. Ain’t no budget when I’m on the set If I like it, then that’s what I get,” Grace continued from where they left off singing. 

The dancers all left the stage as the orchestra took over the last chorus, letting the song play out once Grace stopped singing. The audience stood, clapping and cheering for her and even though the camera’s didn’t show it, she did a full bow to the crowd.

“Okay, that was amazing!” 

The alcohol was flowing now the worst of the nerves were over with and Seokjin happily accepted the glass of wine, Namjoon a whiskey from Yoongi and Hobi a washed down glass of white wine. All seven boys, their close friends and team lifted their glasses in cheers.

“Namjoon, you do it,” Yoongi said as everyone looked to Seokjin to lead the toast.

“Oh right,” their leader said as he stood, making his way to stand next to the TV where the awards were flowing.

“When I first met noona, I was a shy teenager who had no clue, probably like many of us. She didn’t care that I was into hip hop, that I had big dreams and that I wanted to be something. All she cared about was Namjoon - what did he want? And I never knew the answer to that question until the day she and I were out buying plants,” Namjoon paused then laughed when he realised he was getting teary as was the rest of the boys in front of him. 

“She asked what I wanted? And I picked up this plant pot because it was cute. And I realised there and then, that all noona wanted from me was to be happy and if a plant pot made me happy because it was cute, then that’s what she was going to get for me. Seeing her come from someone who didn’t know their place in the world to now seeing her up there on the Grammy stage, I’m very thankful that I have Grace Chu in my life. So fuck the Grammy’s, who gives a shit. Grace Chu just made history!”

Everyone’s glasses went up with cheers. “To Grace Chu!” they all said then downed their alcohol in one go, only for glasses to be filled again just as quickly.

There was complete and utter silence when she didn’t win Best Pop Solo Performance, though Jungkook could see the storm brewing over his leader’s head. “Noona isn’t bothered,” he muttered as he pointed to her on the screen as she laughed and talked to her parents, completely unbothered by the fact she didn’t win. 

It turned out to be a very long morning as each award came and went. 

“The nominees for Record of the Year are,” that sentence interrupted all the conversations in the room, heads turning on a swivel to stare at the screen. 

BTS turned to look at each other and as if they had the same thought, they each reached over to clasp hands. Namjoon closed his eyes, let out a breath and prayed.

“And the winner is,” there was a giant pause and Grace on the screen turned to her mother to say something before the answer was revealed:  “7 Rings - Grace Chu.”

There was complete and utter pandemonium in Seokjin’s living room. Namjoon had fallen to the floor on his knees, Jungkook on his back. Taehyung and Jimin were hugging each other, Hobi stared at the screen in utter confusion and Yoongi reached over to wrap an arm around Seokjin’s shoulders.

“She did it, hyung. She actually did it.”

They missed most of her speech, only calming down enough to hear the last part of it. 

“Holy shit,” Namjoon muttered as he wiped a hand down his face and stayed where he was. Jungkook grabbed hold of his shoulders and whispered hurriedly at him. “Hyung, hyung, look.”

On screen, Chris Martin from Coldplay was walking across the stage.

“No way,” Seokjin whispered as Yoongi grabbed hold of his hand, squeezing tight. If there was anyone who was important to the couple and to the rest of the band, it would be Chris. The fact he was there to present the biggest award of the night was not missed by anyone.

“The winner for Album of the Year,” Chris paused and turned to look at Grace. “In My Head" by Grace Chu, produced by Bang PD & PDogg from Big Hit Entertainment. Congratulations.”

There was silence for a moment and then a multitude of noise. Cheers, screams, crying, hooting, laughter and some kind of noise Taehyung had produced at the news. Each man had a different reaction as they watched Grace stand and walk up to the stage, greeting Chris the traditional way before hugging him. 

They went silent again as Grace started her speech, each of them holding their breath as they were standing. It wasn’t missed that she had said her boys, ARMY and her man separately and for her to acknowledge Seokjin like that on American TV was another big moment.  

Jimin’s phone rang just as Grace walked off stage and he quickly pulled it out, seeing Sejin’s name on the screen.

“Ah Sejin-hyung,” Jimin said while he put the voice call on speakerphone so they could hear their old manager. 

“Grace is just coming backstage now so I’ve got you on speakerphone, one moment.” They could hear the tears in his voice over the noise in the background. “Grace, the boys are on the phone.”

They were all screaming their congratulations on the line and suddenly they heard Bang-PD on the line.

“Boys,” he started crying again. “I’m so proud of you all. So proud. I’m letting Grace have a moment with her parents but I just wanted to say I’m very proud of you all. Thank you.”

It was hard to even get their words out but there were promises for a celebration dinner when they got back and Grace would speak to them later once she got back to her hotel. 

“She did it,” Namjoon whispered as he saw the notifications on his phone on various media outlets across South Korea and America reporting on Grace winning her two Grammys. CL, IU, TXT and others were posting on their social media, tagging BTS and Grace in their posts. Even Billboard had put up a post.

“She did it,” Namjoon repeated as he rested a hand on Seokjin’s back and an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders. Hobi joined them at Jungkook’s side, pulling Jimin and Taehyung in and Yoongi joined them by wrapping an arm around Taehyung and Seokjin. 

Grace would return back to Korea, to them, as a twice Grammy awarded artist. And no one would be able to say that Korea’s Noona hadn’t broken the barrier that they all needed to be broken and no one could say that they as a group and individually weren’t leading the way for other Korean idols and groups. 

[seiberries]

Hello! Can I ask you for Rin, Reo, Nagi and Chigiri headcanons? How they'd react if they find out that their s/o is an amazing dancer (maybe something like k-pop girls group cover dance or something like this)? Thank you so much!

thanks for the request!! i like dancing, so this was fun to write! <3

blue lock boys: kpop cover dancer s/o hcs

includes: chigiri hyoma, itoshi rin, mikage reo, nagi seishiro warnings: mild swearing!

chigiri hyoma

finds out as you film a cover in front of him, he smiles the whole time. you really were so amazing; he basically falls in love all over again.

the boy’s heart warmed, loving that you were enjoying yourself.

were you really his? it becomes one of the rare moments where chigiri is rendered speechless- no playful banter or snarky comments.

after the song finishes, the air is loud with claps from your boyfriend; his eyes showed all that he felt.

wants to learn from you, honestly. dancing requires a lot of focus and precision with how different body parts coordinate, so he asks about how you change your legs to go from once dance move to another.

there are concepts from dancing that he starts to utilize on the field.

while memorizing steps isn’t for him, he really enjoys doing just dance. it’s a competition that way, winner gets a wish from the loser.

oh, it’s so on.

itoshi rin

he’s really impressed, though he won’t express it out loud.

and that is because, rin... can’t really dance.

his body programmed itself to know football and football only, so he finds dancing very impressive.

the striker somehow finds you even more alluring than you already are, a silent pride fills his chest.

he catches himself humming the songs you dance to, they’re in a private playlist of his. it’s hidden, and he has to be alone to listen to it.

imagine the shit the other blue lock boys would give him for listening to TWICE, his image would be ruined. (in his opinion, he’d rather not hear shidou yap about it.)

you know about it though, it’s incredibly cute. his airpods disconnected, you heard cupid by FIFTY FIFTY play from his phone as he showered.

when he came out, a knowing look glossed your face- rin could practically hear your thoughts.

you yapping about it was okay, he’d much rather you than the antennae freak. (rin would probably return the broken nose to his teammate if it were the case.)

has multiple anonymous accounts to like your videos, and you have no idea about it. if anyone ever leaves a bad comment, rin is on their ass in dms.

the things he says to them would make even sae shiver.

mikage reo

reo insists to fund your covers, immediately.

the outfits you wear are suddenly the same as what the idols are styled with. the locations where you film at are reserved entirely for you, no distractions. even the filming process, which originally just consisted of you recording and editing- now involved a team of professionals.

he loves spoiling you.

i imagine that he likes to dance with you too, he’s very willing to learn choreography. multiple videos are uploaded with both of you dancing.

totally a natural too, his moves are fluid. dancing becomes a shared pastime for you two, he documents all of it to brag about how wonderful his s/o is.

his favorite concepts are refreshing ones, he listens to new jeans frequently. (hype boy and omg are his top songs!)

tell him your favorite group, he’ll have a private meet and greet arranged by the time their next comeback happens.

with a text from reo telling you to go downstairs, you’ll just be surprised to find your ult group sitting at your dining table.

nagi seishiro

the boy doesn’t understand how you can memorize so many movements, and then execute them after. it looks like so much work. (it is!)

when nagi watches you dance, he really watches. it’s like he takes note of every action you put out, his attention solely on you.

would ask a lot of questions, he’s interested in anything you’re interested in. he likes how you get excited over it.

genius-y as ever, he memorizes some of the choreos you learn in his head. he wouldn’t be opposed to doing some of the lower difficulty ones, it gets him many kisses as a reward.

your affection is more than enough of an incentive for him to get moving. but he’s exhausted after, so you better recognize his efforts!

cuddles are in session immediately after, he used up so much energy. (it was a thirty second tiktok.)

his teammates are in shock that you got him to move for something other than basic needs and football.

how do you do it?

the answer is simple- nagi seishiro loves you enough to “bust a move”, or two.

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box— Quinn Hughes Edition (Part Twenty)

SERIES MASTERLIST

previous: nineteen

next: twenty-one

corresponding trevor post

the non twitter posted trevor and z pics are so low quality and i can fix it and i hate it :)

TUESDAY, APRIL 11TH

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, _eliaspettersson, and 8,643 others

yourusername welcome to my postgame penalty box update show: my favorite brother edition! now, you may be wondering: “y/n, girly, my love, sexiest woman alive, why is quinn at two games since his last penalty? where is the kings game post?” well my besties, quintin politely asked me to not post anything for the game against the kings because of their second shutout loss of the season; and since i am the bestest best friend in the universe, i obliged. to compensate, i added him being smiley reading off the starting line up in said game!

back to our regularly scheduled programming! quinn in his 25:42 minutes of ice time (a time that got me money because he had the most ice time out of both teams), he managed to not get a penalty against the ducks! but you know who got their first nhl penalties? misters akito hirose and aidan mcdonough! congratulations boys!

special displeasure shoutout to both camera people in this game, because there was hardly any evidence that quinn existed. but the photographer got many of him and z, so that is what we get!

special REAL shoutout to one of my favorite people alive, petey! congratulations EP40100! i’m choking with pride! i love you! with my whole heart! mwah!

and also to demmer, for getting an assist tonight on kuzy’s goal! that’s wild!

i love you, quintin! can’t wait to cry my eyes out thursday!💙

p.s. suck it, jack <3

tagged _quinnhughes

_quinnhughes i love you, too, sissy💙 we can have a facetime sleepover post the last game

trevorzegras please no

yourusername CAN WE BOTH BUILD BLANKET FORTS SO IT’S LIKE HOW WE DID IT WHEN YOU WENT TO NTDP?!?!?!

trevorzegras please yes

_quinnhughes @/yourusername anything you want

jamie.drysdale FORT! FORT! FORT! FORT!

_eliaspettersson @_quinnhughes are we building a fort?

_quinnhughes @_eliaspettersson what sissy wants, sissy gets in emotional times

jackhughes @/yourusername group facetime sleepover?

lhughes_06 @/yourusername it’ll be just like when we were kids!

yourusername @/jackhughes @/lhughes_06 FAMILY GROUP FACETIME FORT SLEEPOVER WOOOOOO

user1 quinn looks so small next to petey oh my god

colemcward i think you were the real winner of this game, mom!

yourusername i think you’re wrong; you were wonderful out there!

colemcward thanks, mom!

_quinnhughes @/yourusername who are you

yourusername @_quinnhughes a supportive mother to OUR SON

user2 y/n please buy quinn a new suit with your winnings

user3 “p.s. suck it jack <3” y/n is my idol

trevorzegras you don’t post quinn’s 3-0 shutout loss but you post my 6-0??

yourusername you didn’t ask me not to

trevorzegras would you have not if i asked?

yourusername guess we’ll never know

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras she would have posted it

jackhughes @/trevorzegras we all know quinn is special

trevorzegras @/yourusername when does your sappy mode turn back on?

yourusername @/trevorzegras it’s scheduled for thursday

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes you couldn’t have gotten a penalty for your brothers?

_quinnhughes i don’t like you two all that much

yourusername sucks to suck lukey moosey

lhughes_06 @/yourusername share your winnings, mom!

yourusername @/lhughes_06 your dad got $30 go ask him

jackhughes @/lhughes_06 no

lhughes_06 @/yourusername share your winnings, sissy?

yourusername @/lhughes_06 good try, but no

user6 🧹🧹🧹

_eliaspettersson thank you, y/n! i love you, too! i’ll help huggy build the fort!

yourusername that’s a relief because he is not very good at them

_quinnhughes @/yourusername it was one time

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes it was a pretty bad fort

jackhughes @_quinnhughes it was nefarious

_quinnhughes @/jackhughes i didn’t even know you knew that word

user5 how in the name of fuck did demmer get an assist😭

edwards.73 i think i did pretty good for my first game bets participation!

yourusername hell yeah you did!!

jackhughes your mom and i are so proud!

edward.73 thanks parents!

lhughes_06 @/edwards.73 kiss ass

edwards.73 @/lhughes_06 i’m running for favorite child

lhughes_06 @/edwards.73 i think the new one has us beat

yourusername @/lhughes_06 the “new one” has a name child number 1! it’s cole!!

edwards.73 @/lhughes_06 i see your point

_eliaspettersson added this to their story

[jebewonmorelike]

Let’s Win This Love

part 2: keita's ending; matthew's ending (coming soon) wc: 2.6k pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: I think I said h*ll maybe a couple more swears, otherwise pretty silly and fluffy and fun summary: keita and matthew (aegyo) battle for an oblivious planetmaster/idol!reader's affection in this semi-realistic fictional retelling of boys planet episodes 3 & 4 ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ A Cancer and a Gemini having the same taste and then duking it out is literally so typical, I can't. Honestly, this one has a very respectful dash of crack, I think I wrote Zhang Hao, Kuanjui, Zihao and the star masters a little too funny, but that's why it's only "semi-realistic". Hopefully you think its funny too. :) Also, this technically exists in the same world as the Junhyeon one... Since I wrote that the reader is also from my new canon fictional idol group "Virtual Reality". So if you want to believe that this is a prequel to that one, that is hilarious and I fully support it. This was a request and I was so happy to get it, please send more <3

"Okay, this is Kill This Love practice room. G-group are on the far side, K-group closest to the door," a producer explains quickly while a stylist smoothes your hair down.

"Thank you," you say with a smile, nodding at the stylist first and then the producer.

"Whenever you're ready," she says, backing away so you can open the door. You reach your hand out, grabbing the door handle and pulling slowly before stepping inside the practice room.

You stand there for a moment, looking at the two groups of boys sitting very endearingly in little circles on the floor. A smile creeps onto your face as you watch them carefully discuss what positions they should take for their performances.

"OH MY GOD!" One of the trainees shouts suddenly from the other side of the room. It startles you a bit as the other trainees begin to freak out as they recognize you as well.

You nod respectfully to them in a greeting, laughing at the boys' excited reactions. "Hi," you say with a little wave.

The boys shout their hellos back.

"I'm (Y/N) from Virtual Reality, for anyone who doesn't know. I'm here as a Planet Master to help you throughout the week with your performances," you explain. "I'd love to sit in for a while as you decide your parts for the song, if that's okay?"

"Can we go first, please?" A very tall and intimidating boy from the K-group team asks as he jumps to his feet.

"Yes, since you said please," you agree with a nod, making your way over to the circle of K-group trainees on the floor. You sit with them for about fifteen minutes, the process of divvying up parts going incredibly quickly. They all seemed to have an idea of exactly what they were going to do before they even sat down, all ring-led by that giant boy who, as it turns out, is a golden retriever in disguise.

Making your way over to the G-group now, you quietly join their floor circle as the boy on your left speaks.

"It's natural that we all want the killing part, but we have to think of what is best for the team's performance first and foremost," the dark-haired boy says articulately. You can't help but notice he looks a bit familiar to you. He turns to you, smiling, but his name tag is blocked.

"Please, keep going! I love how you worded that," you compliment him, hands gesturing for him to continue.

"Thank you," he accepts, as he sits with one knee hugged to his chest. "I think the best way to figure out who gets what part might be for everybody that wants it to try it out. Then we can determine who fits it most."

They audition the Killing Part first. Each boy takes a turn, the brown-haired boy to your right named Matthew seeming very determined to win, but it's clear that the trainee best suited for the part is Keita, the boy on your left. They put it up to a group vote after everyone has taken their turn.

"Do I get to vote?" You ask with a laugh.

"Yes, but only if you're going to vote for me," Keita says, grinning.

"Wooow," you sigh in disbelief.

"Of course you get to vote," Zhang Hao, the leader, confirms. "But... Only if you vote for me."

Zhang Hao prompts everyone to point to their choice in three, two, one...

Almost every finger is pointed at Keita, including yours. His, however, is pointed at Matthew.

"Keitaaaa, okay, okay," Zhang Hao congratulates. The smaller boy bows his head gratefully and there's something about the way he does this that confirms you have in fact seen him before.

"Keita..." You think out loud, brows furrowing. "Keita, why are you so familiar to me?"

He laughs. "Because I sat behind you at the Asia Artist Awards last year."

"OH MY GOD! You're the one that stepped on the back of my shoe!" You say, finally remembering where you'd seen his face before.

"Exactly!" He confirms much too happily, before realizing what you said. "Hey. I apologized for that!"

"I'd like to change my vote to this one," you say, pointing at the boy on your right. "He would never step on my shoe."

"You're right, I would never step on your shoe," Matthew confirms with a smile, but you take notice of how sad he looks after losing the part.

"Too bad, you were only allowed to vote if you voted for me anyway, remember?" Keita says with a grin.

You roll your eyes. "Whatever, shoe-stepper."

The boys continue voting on parts; the main vocal first, then the main rapper, then subvocal one, then subvocal two... You watch as Matthew, the youngest member of the team, loses each part and, in turn, all of his confidence. His eyes are glued to his lap and your heart absolutely breaks when you see a tear fall onto his pants leg as he's handed the subvocal two part.

"Aw, this one," you say with a little laugh, motioning with your hand for Matthew to lean over to you. "Come here, I need to hug you."

The boy stares at you for a second, doe-eyed before quickly moving into your open arms.

"You look so sad, I can't stand it," you say, patting his back comfortingly as you squeeze him gently. Pulling away from the hug, you keep one hand on his shoulder. "You're doing great. I know you probably feel a bit rejected and that's not a nice feeling. But this is the right part for you... and whether you wanted it or not, you have to make the best of it. Also, I'm not gonna lie, it's actually my favorite part of this song."

He nods quickly, clearly flustered by the attention you're giving him. You have been told before that your ability to never break eye contact is both impressive and incredibly intimidating.

"The year is 2019. The world is about to basically explode and nobody knows it yet. All I care about is releasing our next song," you start to say dramatically as you turn to address the whole group.

"Oh! Are you sharing a personal anecdote that will resonate with each of us and motivate our team to work together cooperatively to win the challenge?" Zhang Hao asks excitedly.

You blink back at him, a pout eventually forming on your lips. "Well I was going to, but you ruined it."

"I was actually wondering something."

You turn to your left as Keita speaks. "Yeah?"

"I actually got the Killing Part," Keita says carefully, before looking up to meet your eyes. "Why don't I get a hug?"

Chen Kuanjui falls flat on his back with a shriek as Zhang Hao snorts so loud you swear he's part horse.

"Didn't you hear?” Kuanjui asks rhetorically at the ceiling. "You only get a hug if you look sad.”

"Jealousy was blocking his ears," Wang Zihao quips.

"Oh," Keita considers, nodding. "I can be sad."

"No! No more sad!" You interject, placing one hand on Matthew's knee and the other on Keita's. "Neither of you are allowed to be sad."

"Would you like us to be sad then?" Min asks.

"NO!" You shout, hands flying to your head as you grapple with the weight of the existence of boys. "None of you can be sad anymore starting now."

"But then how am I supposed to get a hug?" Keita asks, smirking back at you.

"Shoe-steppers do not get hugs under any circumstances anyway, not even sadness," you reply with a frown.

"Well Keita can keep the killing part if it means I get the only hug," Matthew figures, smiling at you sweetly.

You watch as Keita's eyes narrow at the younger boy.

"(Y/N)! Time to switch rooms, please," a staff member suddenly calls, holding open the door for you.

You sigh, pushing yourself up with your hands to stand and scanning over the team with a sigh. "No more sadness. No more hugging. No more shoe-stepping."

Your eyes fix on Zhang Hao. "And no more interrupting people's personal anecdotes that they so graciously prepared for you."

All of the boys nod in agreement.

"Please work hard. There's a ton of talent in this group. I can't wait to see your progress in a few days!" You say before walking to the door, waving to all of the Kill This Love trainees.

"Fighting!"

~

"Hi," Keita greets, hands behind his back.

It's evaluation day and you're sat with pH-1 to your right and Seok-hoon and Young-joon to your left on a folding chair in a large practice room, waiting for the Kill This Love G-Group to join you. Keita is the first to arrive, hesitating for a moment at the door before walking straight up to you.

"Oh," you say, admittedly a bit surprised. "Hi."

"You were right the other day. I didn't ever get the chance to properly apologize for the whole shoe incident," he says, bottom lip between his teeth.

"What? What shoe incident?" Young-joon asks curiously.

"Oh, he... He stepped on the back of my shoe at the AAA's last year," you explain quickly.

"Not on purpose, of course," Keita adds.

"I fell down and everything."

"OKAY, WILL YOU JUST--..." Keita stops himself and laughs disarmingly. "I'm trying to say I'm sorry."

"What's behind your back?" Seok-hoon prods.

"Oh, um..." Keita produces a small bouquet of roses, handing them to you. "For you."

"Holy--," pH-1 starts, but Young-joon shushes him.

You stare at the flowers. "Are you... trying to buy my forgiveness?"

"Yes," Keita agrees hastily, then shakes his head. "No. Well... Sort of. I just wanted to say that, like... I obviously wasn't glad that you fell or anything that day. But I was glad that the whole incident made you remember me."

"Yes, negatively."

"Right, well. I know we might've gotten off on the wrong foot... No pun intended. But I just wanted to try to fix that," he offers awkwardly, shifting his weight from one side to the other a few times.

You nod. "Thank you. I'll consider it."

Keita smiles hopefully before going to take a seat in one of the chairs to the left of the room.

"Wow," pH-1 sighs. "You're cold."

"What? He made me fall on national television."

"Yeah, but he clearly really likes--." The rapper is cut off by another trainee entering the practice room.

Matthew runs up to you, planting himself in front of you before bowing slightly with respect. "Hi," he says with a shy smile.

"Hi," you greet him, smiling back. "How are you doing, my favorite subvocal two?"

You hear an exasperated sigh from the left side of the room.

"I'm good! Thank you for being so nice the other day. What you said really helped me," Matthew says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small pink box. "Uh, I just bought you something as a proper thank you."

You open it, finding several expensive assorted chocolates inside. "Oh... That's... That's so sweet of you. But I'm actually allergic to chocolate."

Matthew's eyes widen with sheer panic as you put the lid back on the box and hand them to Seok-hoon, who begins popping them in his mouth gleefully.

"It's okay, he'll eat them," you assure Matthew, whose cheeks are bright red. "Thank you, though!"

He nods apologetically and runs off to take a seat on the left side of the room.

"Can I ask what sort of magic spells you were performing in those practice rooms, (Y/N)?" Young-joon asks amazedly.

"I’m not complaining," Seok-hoon replies decidedly, throwing back the last chocolate.

As the whole Kill This Love G-group team finally files into the room and takes their positions for their evaluation performance, you watch as Matthew and Keita appear to send each other very competitive and almost hostile glances. Keita's eyes narrow in the same way they did when Matthew had subtly bragged about getting a hug. You wonder what could possibly be going on with them.

Your suspicions only grow stronger as their performance continues. Matthew and Keita's parts are riddled with elaborate and distracting bits of aegyo and, at one point, the two seem to be engaged in some sort of full-on aegyo battle. The rest of the boys dance around them, the incredibly annoyed expressions on their faces actually much more fitting to the theme of the song.

When the song concludes, Seok-hoon fully turns around in his seat, head in his hands as he stifles his chuckling. Young-joon is scribbling furiously on his note pad and pH-1 is just sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

You figure now's as good a time as any to chime in.

“Matthew.”

The boy’s eyebrows raise in anticipation as you sternly call his name. You watch as Keita looks down at the floor, smiling to himself.

“Keita."

His head shoots up to look at you, visibly surprised that you’ve said his name, too.

“Respectfully… What in god’s green earth are you both doing?”

"I've been asking myself the same question all week," Zihao comments dejectedly.

You watch both of the boys glance at each other nervously before turning back to you. “What the hell is with all the aegyo?"

Seok-hoon brings his clipboard up to cover his mouth as he bursts into laughter.

"Yeah, you know, I noticed that too," Young-joon agrees with a smirk. "I thought you were trying to kill this love... not make it."

"That was a terrible joke, but he's right. The whole point of this song is to voice your anger about the pain that love causes. Kuanjui, was this your choreography?"

"You know it wasn't," he deadpans.

You nod. "I do and I admire your willingness to throw your teammates under the bus."

"Is that admirable?" Seok-hoon asks.

"It is when your teammates are acting like Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dumber," you answer, shaking your head in disbelief. "Seriously, what is going on?"

"What's going on is that you're Tweedle-Dumbest," pH-1 says with a snort.

"What? What do you mean?" You question, one eyebrow raised in defense at the accusation.

"I mean, you're sitting in between a bouquet of roses and a pink box of chocolates," Seok-hoon says, gesturing to the gifts on either side of you as deafening silence sweeps over the room.

"... They're both in love with you, Sunbaenim," Zhang-Hao announces loudly.

Your mouth hangs open slightly as the realization hits you. "Oh," you manage to squeak out with a nod, knowing a blush is creeping across your cheeks. "I am Tweedle-Dumbest."

"Why do you boys never bring me presents?" Young-joon questions. "Don't you think I'm pretty?"

You finally muster enough courage to look up again at Matthew and Keita. Matthew looks like he wishes he was being catapulted to another planet, while Keita is just grinning at you like an (adorable) idiot.

"Sorry for calling you names," you say softly, bowing your head apologetically. "I appreciate your sweet gestures."

"Well..." pH-1 says with a sigh. "Which one are you going to choose?"

"WHAT!?" You yell, rolling up your papers and smacking him with them.

"Personally, I would choose Matthew," Seok-hoon says nodding appreciatively at the younger trainee.

"There's just something about Keita though, you know?" Young-joon poses, his hand reaching up to his chin as he pretends to daydream.

You shake your head in defeat, groaning into your hands. This is a logistical nightmare. Suddenly, you lift your head as you think of the perfect answer to pH-1's question.

"I'll look forward to a date with whichever one of you debuts," you announce, followed by a chorus of satisfied 'oohs' and 'aahs' from both the star masters and the other boys. You watch as Keita and Matthew exchange competitive yet amicable looks, the older of the two holding his hand out for the other to shake. Mentally, you pat yourself on the back for being able to restore the atmosphere with the brilliant solution.

“But what if they both debut?" Zhang Hao asks suddenly.

"ZHANG HAO, I SWEAR TO--."

[fanstuffrantings]

Among the many things I wish mashima properly expanded upon: I really want to know how the named fairy tail members ended up with the guild. Especially if they were kids at the time.

Lines draw back to shadowgear because I'm nothing if not predictable so let me ramble both in disappointment and give an idea for their backstory.

A bit long so under the cut

We never learn why these 3 kids end up at the guild. They form a group because, in canon, Jet and droy are more levy fanboys than actual characters. Honestly when mashima did a 1 year timeskip where everyone went off to do their own thing I thought these gaps would get resolved for everyone. We'd get backstory for people who had none. When levy on the council showed up I thought maybe her being important would reflect by making Jet and Droy crucial players in a coming arc. Something to give us shadowgear focus and flesh them out. I was naive because Mashima doesn't do those types of arcs unfortunately. And it's hurt ever since.

It's part of why I get so passionate about team shadowgear getting a side arc or two where they take on missions that aren't necessarily tied to the main plot, but there to build them as characters and even more, properly set up a friendship base for Gajeel and Levy.

The idea I had when I was a teenager was we'd get an arc where it's revealed that team shadowgear were all survivors of a destroyed town. Maybe a dark guild was responsible, maybe one of Zerefs demons. But either way that bond was what drove them to group up. And I still like that idea. I like them all being orphaned by the same event and their fates being tied together following it. I love the idea of a fairy tail guild member or group finding these kids with nowhere to go when they show up to help the town, ultimately leading to 3 new kids being taken in and cared for.

I would've loved to know what older mages shadowgear liked most and who they idolized. Give me shadowgear who bring pride to fairy tail in their own way because of how smart levy is both in her studies and as a leader. Give me a Jet who is quick on his feet while managing to figure out how to balance speed with precision leading to people marveling at his skill. Give me droy who won't stop yapping about the plants he knows and their various properties whether people listen or not, but that knowledge being so incredibly important and life saving that eventually people stop tuning him out.

The guild is meant to be a family, bit so many of it's members are utterly neglected by the writing so it often seems like we have several outsiders who exist for plot and gags exclusively.

[yurababy]

you are my answer— h.js (teaser)

hong jisoo x afab!reader, will be smut, part of the Don’t Listen in Secret series! can be read alone or w/ the other members’ (as of 04/15, cheol, han, & jihoon)

synopsis joshua tries, he really does try to be the calm and composed member, but his patience is just too short. when it runs out, he knows exactly where to go to cool down, or, technically, heat up.

notes fiction. this is fiction. i don’t think shua acts like this. i don’t know him. only a tiny tiny bit of my personal subconscious analysis as a fan and psychology major. i’m not s jihancheol shipper :3 that part is just for laughs ! i love shua and don’t think of him in any strange way… it’s just to build character bc this is fiction. even the parts of him thst i do think are somewhat accurate are more endearing then annoying. if u have a problem lmk. also jeonghan!! dlis!! jeonghan!! ok thanks. 800-ish wordcount. idk when this will be out i’m like 1.6k in so far...

➤ title is from “lean on me” by the one and only seventeen hiphop team.

part of the don’t listen in secret series.

taglist ♡ @zen003xx @seung-sungs @angelwonie @rubyreduji @vvsmydiamonds127 @shualicious @whyokoa @dreamhannies @313hwa @minnie-mouser22 @knucklesdeepmingi @lenireads @oolanderr @bestboysvt @misssugarlips @whereisgyu @kodzukein @i4kt @wonushuasworld  @aurumness @bibinnieposts @venusprada @ikissvernon  @listxn @starlight-nightz @svtrbi​ @bakugosbottombitch @kooklovesu @alluringlino @hiddlesdweeb

“are you serious right now?”

the voice immediately had you and dokyeom’s eyes enlarge as they made contact with one another. you had been watching seokmin respond to a few fans on weverse, the boy having been recording a cute video of himself before leaving, when a group seemed to enter the hybe hallway.

“calm down-” could be heard in the echo, but you interrupted the voice before the rest of the sentence could be heard.

“can’t use that take,” you made sure dokyeom very carefully clicked the delete button rather than the post to ensure no fans overanalyzed the mystery situation. somewhat hypocritically, you did the same thing you wished others not to do and came to a conclusion as to who one of the voices would be.

joshua was not one to display his anger.

in fact, he was noted as one of the calmest members when it came down to a hasty situation. he was the one to deal with jeonghan’s games and call junhui cute and pat vernon’s head. 

and he liked his reputation, he liked being someone that could comfort. only, you knew that even he could get stressed out sometimes, and you knew this very well.

(“it’s so fucking annoying sometimes, like, even if they know i’m the mafia, can’t they just pretend they don’t? maybe they just pick me for fun! i’m a pretty good actor!”

“shua... do you know how to play mafia?”

“i’m better now! i practice sometimes, watch.”)

(“i can’t believe he just fucking ate the cookies. those were literally my favorite fucking cookies—

“shua, you told chan he could have them, in front of me. you said ‘of course you can, channie!’”

“that doesn’t mean he’s supposed to! can you imagine if i told him he can’t eat my cookies?”)

but these were secrets kept from the members. of course, he was more than comfortable around them, but after years of having to work up this image for his idol-side, he can barely swear without following or preceding it with a soft apology through a clenched jaw.

seokmin’s phone clicked off and the two of you finally were in the presence of a seething joshua parallel to a side-by-side seungcheol and jeonghan.

that was definitely concerning.

joshua scoffed. “why should i when i have literally every reason to be upset?”

this particular trio did not often find themselves in disagreements at all, so it was more subconscious for both you and dokyeom to intervene.

once closer, you took in the situation as dokyeom started with a far too happy, “hey guys! what’s going on?” he walked directly among the trio while you kept some distance, a bit behind joshua so he wouldn’t be distracted by your presence.

jeonghan looked a bit uncomfortable, seungcheol had his lips pressed in a thin line, but joshua turned to seokmin. “i wouldn’t know, because these two go everywhere without me recently. have i even seen you guys in the dorms? is it because you two are older than me? are you dating?”

the last one made you cover your mouth with your hand for a moment, dokyeom’s eyes widening and the two oldest members furrowing their eyebrows. seungcheol shook his head and trailed towards joshua’s side. he held one shopping bag in one hand, the brand miumiu, while jeonghan held another, dior. on the way to joshua, he slipped the bag handles out of jeonghan’s fingers, gripping both before presenting them to joshua. 

it didn’t take a genius to understand the brands’ significance to joshua. his face fell slightly blank at the epiphany.

“we’re so busy around the time of your birthday, shua, that’s all. we don’t mean to leave you out, never.” he threw an arm around jisoo’s shoulder, and your gaze shifted to jeonghan’s. jeonghan made eye contact with you as if he predicted you would check on him, eyes more relaxed than before. seungcheol started walking, so jisoo starting walking. jeonghan walked a bit in front, looking back at you once. once.

“don’t think so fast. we love you, why would we do that?” cheol continued, joshua’s pursed lips curled into an upside-down smile, not meeting his eyes as much as they usually do.

you could tell there was plenty of room waiting for jisoo to respond, apologize, accept the sweet gesture for his birthday. he seemed to know this too, mumbling an apology for swearing and getting upset. seungcheol nodded and rubbed his shoulder.

you walked further away until you could only faintly make out the second eldest’s, “we wouldn’t date without you, shua-ya.”

joshua was being irrational, jumping to conclusions before even processing what was going on. a bit after you sat back down with seokmin, your phone lit up with a text notification. the expansion read, “im so pissed rn do u know what just happened wait i can tell u if u come over later,” and you pretended your giggle was in response to a funny post rather than his obliviousness. at least shua knew how to manage his anger in a way that left him content.

you didn’t mind it either, what, him fucking you relentlessly instead of actually ranting? why wouldn’t you text him with a confirmation, and why wouldn’t you rummage through your closet for lingerie?

༺♡༻

[real-life-senshi]

May I ask for your headcanons of Reinako’s relationship after canon? Could be for manga or PGSM!

Hello friend! Thank you for dropping by and giving me a prompt to gush on Reinako even more! XD

First off, here are two sets of PGSM Reinako headcanons for those who haven't seen them before. They are all connected. XD

Reinako Headcanon 1

Reinako Headcanon 2

And thanks to this ask, here is a brain dump of more headcanon:

PGSM Reinako Headcanon Part 3:

Timeline/stages of life of the Reinako development:

Following directly after the Final Act, during the girls' 3rd year in middle school, Minako was a bit awkward about how to act casually around the Senshi team. Rei helped her out the most before the group dynamic fully settled - e.g. never stopped inviting Minako even if Minako often needed to miss out on group plans due to work without making Minako feel bad (not that the others intentionally make Minako feel guilty, but they just try too hard, versus Rei doesn't make a big deal about it); calling Minako out when Minako holds back on sharing her candid thoughts or feelings with the team for some silly reason or due to occupational hazard of being an idol; calling Makoto and Usagi out when they fangirl too hard and was making Minako feel awkward, making it a struggling for Minako to balance building a genuine friendship or treat them as fangirls. (Ami was also a bit shy with Minako at the start, so Rei had to run some interference there, but Usagi and Makoto were the troublemakers.)

I struggle to make up my mind on which is the better high school scenario: if Minako went to Juuban with Ami, Makoto and Usagi just like manga canon, or because of her fame and celebrity status she ended up going to T*A academy for high school with Rei (better security because of all the politician’s and big businessmen’s daughters in the school, etc), Regardless, high school period is when Rei and Minako really settled as best friends, getting to the point they practically know everything about each other and would be in contact almost everyday.

By the 3rd year of high school approaching graduation, Minako starts to realize she has romantic feelings for Rei. She suspects Rei might actually reciprocate her feelings, except Rei is too dense to realize or too scarred by his dad's abandonment of Rei and Rei's mom to consider exploring a romantic relationship. Knowing both Rei's and her own career trajectory would take them away from Tokyo with limited contact after graduation, Minako decided to not broach the topic.

Rei and Minako drifted apart a bit after high school graduation until the Special Act. After the kiss at the hospital (see Headcanon Part 1), and then UsaMamo's wedding, they both matured enough to face their feelings and started seriously considering starting a relationship. They had to do a lot of soul-searching and shared really candid conversations to get through all the emotional baggage, personal barriers and doubts they both carried, but they eventually got there.

And then they live happily ever after following what I described in Headcanon Part 2. haha (My actual headcanon of post-Special Act Reinako is drastically different from my fanfic, coz apparently I thrive most in writing angst and battle. LOL)

High school era PGSM Reinako:

While Rei took the lead in helping Minako find her place in the Senshi team dynamic and getting comfortable with just being a normal teenager during their middle-school period, Minako was the one that instigated most if not all the shenanigans that led to their deepened friendship in the 3 years of high school, elevating their relationship from just-friends to best friend status.

I always imagined Minako pranked Rei by surprising her on a school visit at T*A to "check out options for a new high school". Minako and her manager Saitou Sugao are being led on a school tour by a nun, and when they spot Rei, Sugao (who is of course in on the prank with Minako) makes a whole scene of barging into the classroom trying to scout Rei into stardom in front of all of Rei's peers as if it's his first time meeting Rei and exclaiming he has found the next shining star of Japan, after Minako of course! Rei was absolutely mortified, though the Senshi team had a great laugh when Minako shared the story in their next hangout. Rei was not pleased.

Following the above headcanon, I headcanon that Rei achieves the same intra-school celebrity status by the time she enters her high school division, similar to how Rei is a school celebrity in T*A in the manga. The drastic change from live-action canon was first prompted by the whole stardom scouting fiasco Minako and Sugao caused. Secondly, Minako learned by chance that Rei was bullied at school throughout middle school through Usagi describing how she met Rei. When Minako confronted Rei about it, Rei just shrugged and brushed it off coz she was used to it and the bullies are practically harmless with more bark than bite, but Minako was still so upset about it that she went to post on her public blog (equivalent to celebrity Twitter/Insta nowadays) about how Rei's her best friend and the coolest, kindest person who helped her get through her illness and recovery, etc. She wrote a whole sob story narrative about how thankful she is for having Rei in her life and how Rei was a source of inspiration and a role model to her, etc. etc. and posted some photos she had taken with Rei. Suddenly all of Rei's peers see Rei in a new light and think she's the coolest and want to befriend her for a chance to also meet Minako. The teachers started actually addressing and punishing the bullies and the school atmosphere was changed anew. The whole deal freaked Rei out, while Minako felt very pleased with herself.

Once Rei joined the archery club in T*A's high school division, she gained even more fame from winning archery competitions at the district and then national level. Her achievement adds to the furor Minako caused, and the lowerclassmen in T*A practically fawn over Rei and founded a fan club with merch. Minako loves teasing Rei about it and secretly becomes a fan club member with platinum status from buying all the merch.

^ The fan club is how Minako knows Rei's archery competition schedule, coz Rei is too humble to ever mention it, and also because every time she gets way too embarrassed by how loud the Senshi team is when they cheer for her, because Minako makes sure the whole Senshi team is decked out with inflated thunder sticks and signs whenever they go cheer for Rei at competitions.

Other misc PGSM Reinako headcanon:

Rei's the one who always remembers and is mindful of Minako's distaste for whipped cream, and stops Usagi's rampage on getting strawberry shortcake for every Christmas because Usagi always reminisces on the cake she and Minako had on the Ferris wheel and forgets Minako’s actual food preference. Rei knew coz she actually paid attention to the lyrics in Sayonara ~Sweet Days.

It's very often Usagi and Makoto would drag the girls around town to try out a new cafe or shop that's selling some new sweet drink, pastry or snack (shaved ice, ice cream, crepe, cake, etc. the stuff you'd see people post on foodie social media). If Minako ever bows out of getting something for herself, Rei will make sure to buy something she knows Minako will likely enjoy so Minako can share some of hers (usually strawberry-flavoured coz that's Minako's favourite), and without fail Minako would take some of Rei’s 'just for a taste because she’s curious', and then inevitably eating half of Rei’s. lol And if Rei is buying something for Minako or knows Minako will inevitably take some from her, Rei would always also buy a bottle of water to accompany whatever crazy sweet things Usagi makes them eat/drink - and it has to be room temperature only, for Minako because Minako needs to be very careful with maintaining her vocal cords for singing.

Whenever Minako and Rei get into a serious fight but both struggle to reconcile, they both would separately go to Artemis and poor Artemis can usually help them sort it out after. But if things get really bad and they notice Artemis is feeling caught in the crossfire, Minako would then go to Makoto, and Rei would go to Ami to process their thoughts... or vent. Makoto and Ami's involvement becomes a yardstick of whether "shit's-hitting-the-fan" or not.

Manga Reinako Headcanon...?

I've not thought as much about the manga Reinako headcanon because I perpetually live in PGSM brainrot. But I do think manga Reinako eventually established a partners-for-life relationship in the manga universe as well.

Different from how I think PGSM Reinako eventually enters an openly romantic, crazy-in-love-for-each-other relationship (once they get over their personal crap), I see manga Reinako has a more subtle and delicate soulmate relationship that is built on deep partnership and mutual understanding in life and duty, especially considering their near immortality and role in Crystal Tokyo. Their relationship dances back and forth on the line of being romantic involved in their personal life, and being a kind of kindred spirit in their view and attitude towards their duty. They've dated, and fallen in love with each other, but across the years also realize sometimes they need space from each other to maintain healthy boundaries between private life and their duty. When they enter a break from each other, it's nothing bad and always with mutual understanding, done amicably - stepping away so they don't get "sick of each other" since eternity is a damn long time! But if one of them is ever feeling down or struggling with something, they are each other's default go-to person, their safe place, and they can discard their masks and break when they need it, especially when they start outliving their non-Senshi family and friends while the world they know of slowly changing and morphing into Crystal Tokyo.

Once they stopped aging, Minako would still try to find opportunities to enjoy life as a human when it's possible, while Rei was more comfortable just accepting fate and being Sailor Mars for life. When there's no crisis to deal with, Minako makes Rei de-transform and drags Rei out of the palace for a girls' night with her in the city.

I see manga MakoAmi to have a similar partnership as well. Though their way of showing affection for their partner is a bit more overt and less complicated than Reinako's. Rei and Minako are so interesting to me because I feel they are more polar opposites in some ways, yet both are so similar in how deeply layered their personality and backstories are that it complicates their relationship but also strengthens them.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Iron Man 2: Part One

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: canon violence and angst

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Nick Fury sits across from you in the dimly lit room. On the desk in front of you is a file he's been working on since you and Carol parted ways in 1995. He's been waiting patiently for the past ten minutes while you read through it all.

"This is what you were working on after Carol left?" you ask and scan the pages in your hand once more.

"I didn't realize exactly what's out there until you and Carol. I have no idea what we might face, and I think it's about time to bring together exceptional people with extraordinary powers such as yourself," Fury explains.

"What are you trying to put together? Some kind of superhero team?" you chuckle.

"It's good to know what's out there. It's better to be prepared for it."

"You think I'm worthy enough to be in this group?"

"Have you met you? The woman I knew in 1995 would jump at the chance to be on this team."

"I have to admit, you've got some good stuff in here," you sigh and set the file on the table.

"But...?"

"I've seen this kind of thing before. Someone puts together a team of exceptionally gifted people who can do incredible things, but conflict arises and it never works out. Your heart is in the right place, but I don't think your head is. Have you thought this through?"

"More than you think I have. I think with the right motivation, this team can be the greatest thing this world has ever seen."

"I don't know," you bite your lower lip in worry.

"Who survived the Kree not once but twice? Who fought Hydra in World War II? Who helped defeat Stane? Who helped Bruce?"

"Okay, first, Stane was a douchebag in a machine he didn't know how to control. Anyone could have beaten him," you roll your eyes. "Second, Bruce came to me thinking I was a scientist. He heard about me back in 1945, found out how to contact me, and I was there for him. I didn't know what I was signing up for when he went all Hulk on me."

"Think about it, Y/N. This is something that can be truly remarkable with the right people. I already have two agents on board."

"Who?"

"Black Widow and Hawkeye."

You don't know who Hawkeye is but you've heard plenty about the deadly assassin. She's popped up over the years but you've always stayed out of her way in fear she'll start hunting you. Never did you think you'd get to be able to work with her. You take the file from the table and look at Black Widow's section.

Damn, she's gorgeous.

"Is she seeing anyone?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know, is she in a relationship?"

"I'm not doing this. Ask her yourself. Take some time and think about it."

He gets up and is about to leave the room when you swivel around to face him.

"How's your eye doing?"

"Don't start," he shakes his head and leaves the room.

Not only do you have this to think about, Tony's speech has been on replay over and over in your mind. You told the world that you were the Avatar while Tony confessed to being Iron Man. The weeks following the press conference have been nothing but chaos as the public made you and Tony celebrities. While you did confess to being able to control the elements, you're not going to tell the world the planet you're truly from. You're not sure they're ready to hear they're not alone in the universe.

Dr. Erskine, Peggy Carter, and Howard Stark took it well because they were already working in that area, so it didn't come as a shock to them. Despite being inventors, doctors, and secret government agents, they were scientists. They knew there were other lifeforms out there.

They may have been ready to learn about you, but the rest of the world isn't.

You and Tony have been put in the spotlight, making you two out to be idols. People love the Avatar and Iron Man and often want you two to be out together in public. With his newfound sense of fame, he decided to reopen the Stark Exposition where he showcases all the things he's invented while encouraging people to show off their inventions.

If you know Tony, and you do, he's gonna want to make a grand entrance into his Stark Exposition. He's going to use the suit to fly into the arena with you by his side. To do that, you have to get high, which is why you two are on a small plane to take you to that height.

"I never got the chance to tell you how risky of a move it was to reveal yourself like that," you say to him while you're waiting.

"It's bound to come out sooner or later," Tony shrugs.

"They're going to start asking questions."

"They were already doing it before."

"Life is going to be different for us."

"Eh, what else is new?" he chuckles.

The plane flies higher, and you and Tony get ready to jump out of it.

"So, how are you and Pepper doing? Have you kissed her yet?"

"Don't start."

"What? Come on, you two almost kissed. There's some sort of feelings there, no?"

"I don't know," Tony sighs. "Do I really want to involve her in my life?"

"You need someone like her to keep you grounded. She's been with you for ten years and has done more than what you've asked her to do. She likes you, Tony and I know you like her, too. Tell me, imagine if she wasn't in your life. How would that make you feel?" Tony can't answer because he knows the answer. He knows he'd be devastated. "Exactly my point."

"Two hundred and seventy at thirty knots. Holding steady at fifteen thousand feet. You are clear for exfiltration over the drop zone," the pilot informs.

"Time for show business."

The launch door on the bottom of the airplane opens, and Tony doesn't hesitate to jump out of it. You jump off the landing strip and follow him as he zips through the air at a fast pace. The wind whips through your hair, the breeze is nice against your skin, and you're having fun just flying wherever you please to go. 

Tony takes the lead to the Stark Expo, and he lands on the stage with a loud thump. You're more delicate with your entrance, and you slowly lower yourself next to Tony until your feet are planted on the ground.

Tony has to make this event as grand as it can be which means there are fireworks, a very bright light show, dancing girls dressed like Iron Man, and a raging crowd to greet him. Sure, you told everyone you're the Avatar, but they're more interested in the billionaire. Not that you're complaining, you're content with being in the background.

You take a few steps back to let the machines underneath the stage remove Tony's suit for him. The platform he's on is slowly spinning as robotic arms are dismantling his suit. The showgirls continue to dance in the background until the song that's playing is over. They do some big dance number that you couldn't possibly follow, and they leave once their parts are over with. 

The lights dim to focus on you and Tony.

"Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony!" the majority of the crowd yells. 

Your name is being scattered throughout the crowd, but it's mostly for Tony.

"It's good to be back. You missed me?" he chuckles.

"Blow something up!" a man in the crowd screams.

"Blow something up? I already did that," he dismisses him until the crowd dies down. "I'm not saying that the world is enjoying its longest period of uninterrupted peace in years because of us. I'm not saying that from the ashes of captivity, never has a greater phoenix metaphor been personified in human history. I'm not saying that Uncle Sam can kick back on a lawn chair, sipping on an iced tea because I haven't come across anyone who's man enough to go toe-to-toe with us on our best day!"

"It's actually not about us," you chime in. "It's not about you. It's about legacy. It's about what we choose to leave behind for future generations. That's why, for the next year, and for the first time since 1974, the best and brightest men and women of nations and corporations the world over will pool their resources and share their collective vision to leave behind a brighter future."

"She's absolutely right. Therefore, what we're saying, if we're saying anything, is welcome back to the Stark Expo," Tony smiles and the crowd goes wild. "Now, making a special guest appearance from the great beyond to tell you what it's all about, please welcome my father, Howard."

You and Tony leave the stage as the video of Howard starts to play. 

"He looks so young there," you comment after your microphones have been turned off.

"What, you didn't know him like this?"

"I knew him when he was in his twenties. He was bright for his age. He loved inventing."

"Yeah, even more than his own son," Tony scoffs.

"He loved you so much, Tony. Even before you were even an idea. He talked about having children with so much love and admiration. He was a good man. He helped me and Steve become who we are."

"It's nice to know you have fond memories of him," he nods passive-aggressively.

It's clear he doesn't like to talk about his dad a lot, and you don't really understand why. While you were off-planet, he was here building his family. You weren't fortunate in seeing Howard as a parent since you met Tony only a couple of years before his parents died. Tony never liked how Howard parented, but you have a feeling he refuses to see why Howard did what he did.

"I'm sure if he were here, he'd be so proud of you."

Tony doesn't respond to that. He turns away from the screen and pulls out a device that measures his blood toxicity levels. The palladium in the arc reactor is slowly killing him, so he has to check how toxic his blood is every hour. You're working on a cure, but there isn't an acceptable replacement for palladium. The continued use of the Iron Man suit is killing him, and it's very hard to make him see the seriousness of the situation.

Only you know about this because he refuses to tell anyone what's actually happening. He doesn't want anyone to worry about what's going on with him even though they deserve to know. Pepper deserves to know. Even with your vast knowledge of powers and serums, you don't know how you'll be able to fix this one.

If Tony is good at anything, then it's how he throws after-parties once the main one dies down. As soon as the Expo is over, everyone huddles around the front of the building to meet you and Tony. Happy stands in front of you two to carve a path back to the car. Tony stops to sign autographs and take pictures with devoted fans while you keep your head down. You hated your picture being taken in the 1940s and you hate it being taken now.

Pictures are proof you were here.

Happy escorts you to Tony's brand new convertible car while the building's security prevents people from crowding you at the car.

"Very mellow," Tony comments.

"I thought it was going to be worse."

A slim, young woman walks to the car with two men behind her just as you get in the backseat of the car.

"Hi, and you are?" Tony asks as he slides into the front seat.

"Marshal. Pleased to meet you Tony and Y/N."

"I'm sorry, what are you doing here?" you ask.

"Looking for you two," she grins, "and serving subpoenas."

She hands him a piece of paper and he visibly gulps. He hates being handed things, which you never understood.

"Yikes," he mutters. 

"He doesn't like to be handed things. I'll take it," you smile and take the letter she offers. 

"Yeah, I have a peeve," Tony nods. 

"I got it. You two are hereby ordered to appear before the Senate Armed Services Committee tomorrow morning at nine a.m."

"Can I see a badge?"

"You wanna see the badge?" she grins. 

"We'll be there," you interrupt her meaningless flirting. "How far are we from D.C.?"

"Two hundred and fifty miles," Happy answers. 

"We'll be there. Thank you."

Tony turns the car on and takes off toward the highway. It's night right now, but it will be morning by the time you get to D.C.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[ladykailitha]

Star Child Part 6

Yeah...I’m going to hold out a little bit longer on who Steve’s ACTUAL security is going to be. Next chapter though. But we get to meet the indomitable Corroded Coffin manager this time.

For the next few chapters Eddie and Steve will be dealing with separate shit so the angst will be high, but have no fear Happily Ever After is the end game. I promise.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

*

Steve pulled into the Motel 6 parking lot to find a woman waiting for him. She was dressed in a black suit with a pale blue button down. Her long hair was pulled back in a neat pony tail. Steve knew that this was his security.

He got out the car and grabbed his bag from his trunk. He walked over to her. “Hellfire Security I assume?”

She nodded. “You’ve got good instincts. That will help. I’m Janice Montgomery.” She stuck out her hand.

Steve shook it. “The CEO, I’m impressed.”

She laughed. “I was in the area and needed to go west, so I figured we could make the trek together.”

Steve sighed in relief. That made better sense. He hated being treated differently. “Works for me.”

“I booked us two rooms and scoped out the area,” she said. “So we’ll be good tonight. Then tomorrow we’ll begin the drive out to LA.”

Steve blinked. “We’re driving?”

Janice smiled. “Your manager, Robin Buckley told me you’re afraid of flying?”

He ducked his head and blushed. He scratched his cheek. “Bad experience flying to Europe for the first time. So I avoid it when I can.”

“Fair enough,” she said. “She also said you don’t mind staying at bigger hotels, but prefer places like this?”

Steve nodded. “I’ve been told by other security teams that they’re not as secure, but...”

“But people fawning over you makes you uncomfortable?” Janice suggested.

He nodded again.

“Happens to the best of them,” she said softly. She squeezed his shoulder.

Steve sighed in relief.

“Let’s get to bed and we’ll start first thing in the morning.”

“Is seven too early?” he asked.

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re a teen idol? Because I thought there was a law that your lot didn’t get up before noon if they could get away with it.”

Steve laughed. “I wake up at 6am most days to go for a run. Or if I’m home in LA a swim. I don’t understand how people can sleep that late.”

She shook her head. “Usually partying until three or four in the morning. Which I understand you don’t do.”

He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Under contract to not get into any trouble. So I don’t do that anymore.”

Janice raised an eyebrow at ‘anymore’ but said nothing. She would contact the label tomorrow and let them know her company would be in charge of Steve’s security. Until then. She had herself an unusual client. And she loved those.

*

The next day at the Corroded Coffin sound check it was a little awkward.

Jeff and Brian tuned their instruments and kept throwing glances at each other as if they were daring the other to broach the subject.

“You guys are wusses,” Gareth finally bit out. “What these morons are trying not say is that we’re sorry about last night. We shouldn’t have made fun of Steve that way.”

Jeff sighed. “Yeah, man. You were right. We don’t know if it’s just us or if he sees other bands.”

“Especially when we were talking him up the last three days,” Brian said. “We were dicks and we’re sorry.”

Eddie huffed angrily and rubbed his eye. “I know. I just wanted tonight to end as well as it had started. And it didn’t.”

Brian nodded. “Yeah, I feel that. You just keep striking out with this guy and I know you’re worried that we might have scared him away.”

Eddie threw himself back against the seat he was in and his lip twisted. “It’s not just that. I think he was trying to befriend you guys, too. Remember this is the guy that got his start in a group and now he’s solo. He travels with stage musicians. And you can’t tell me they’re always the same ones. So I think he wanted to hang with you guys too.”

The three other members of the band looked down at their shoes.

Jeff scratched the back of his neck, Gareth fiddled with his drumsticks, and Brian scuffed the floor.

“We really fucked up, didn’t we?” Brian asked after a few moments.

Eddie sighed. “I don’t know, man. I don’t know.”

They went out onto the stage for the soundcheck as their manager ran around making sure that everything was setup properly. Chrissy Cunningham was one of the best managers in the business and Corroded Coffin was happy to have her. She had been in LA meeting with their agent Dustin Henderson to make sure they didn’t accidentally cross streams over the recent tour dates.

But she had only managed to get in late last night and missed the concert but barely.

She bounced onto the stage. “Hey, guys, we might have to cancel tonight.”

All heads turned to her in shock. “The venue has changed hands since the last time we were here and I don’t like the look of the bartender or the spotter.”

“Fuck,” Gareth hissed.

“Did they at least read the rider?” Jeff asked.

“Not a Pierre or red M&M in sight,” Chrissy said dryly.

Shit. They added the fancy water and red M&Ms to make sure the venue actually read the rider. And if they weren’t there it was sure bet they didn’t read the parts on how heavy their equipment was or when the lights should go up.

Brian looked up at the rafters and grimaced. “Ew, gross.”

The other four looked up to see grease and dirt and filth clinging to the rafters.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Eddie cursed. This was bad. “Cancel it. Find a park willing to take us with such short notice. If not, full refunds.”

Chrissy nodded. She pulled out her phone and immediately began making calls.

A roadie came up to them. “Hey, guys. We need to get this stuff off the stage, now.”

All four of them looked at each other in shock. “What do you mean?” Jeff asked.

“I just heard the owner talking to one of the waitresses and he was telling her that the guy that was supposed to repair the stage upped his price by a thousand so it never happened.”

“Shit!” Gareth hissed. He shot up from his seat and all of the band helped the roadies get their equipment off the stage and back into the bus.

“What are you doing!” the owner screamed when he saw them packing up.

“This is unsafe,” the roadie who had warned them told the guy. “I’m not having my guys get hurt because you can’t be assed to keep this place up to code.”

“I’ll sue!” the owner screamed.

“You can try,” Jeff said, “but you didn’t read our rider so, you broke contract with us first.”

The man started sputtering and a couple of the bigger roadies stood guard to prevent the man from trying to stop them.

Chrissy hung up the phone and walked over to where the man was spouting obscenities at the band.

“Mr Dallas?” she asked sweetly.

He stopped screaming and looked her over. “What can I do for you, princess?”

She smiled. “I have the health department and liquor license people on the way over here to shut you down. And I have a pretty good idea that you have been dodging your taxes, too. So the IRS will be informed as well. Have a nice day.”

Mr Dallas looked at the bartender and the two of them made a dash for the backroom, but it was too late.

The liquor license people had called the cops and they were being invaded. The band and roadies gave statements and vanished into the night, giggling and heckling the owner.

Once on the bus, Chrissy smiled. “All right, we’ve got a large park nearby that is willing to house the concert. But it’s going to be a hell of a mark up and it’s going cost a lot in merch sales too.”

The band groaned.

“And I am assuming, Chrissy the fair,” Eddie said waving his hands, “that you have already started checking up on our other venues, yes?”

She batted her eyes at him. “But of course, Eddie the Banished.” She winked and got on the phone.

“Dustin,” she greeted.

They got set up at the park and Eddie didn’t like the look of it. There was too much of a chance of people getting hurt.

He bounded up to Chrissy. “Hey, babe. I hate to add you to your already growing pile of shit you have to deal with tonight, but if you can swing it, I want extra security.”

Chrissy looked out at the growing crowd with pursed lips. “I’ll see what I can do. I’ve got Dustin working the other venues so I don’t have to worry about that.”

Eddie nodded. He almost felt sorry for the other venues.

Almost.

Dustin was a tough and tenacious agent and when he got going it was hard to stop the guy. It why Eddie had been with him for so many years. He knew his band was in safe hands if Henderson was talking to the venues.

Soon it was time to rock his heart out.

“Thank you everyone for being able to come to our little impromptu jam session,” Eddie said, stepping up to the mic. “The original venue was a shit show, I wouldn’t recommend it. At all. But let’s get to what you came here for!”

He started playing, turning his head to bob to the music as Gareth came in on drums.

“I want to make you mine!” he screamed into mic. “Your body next to me, Fitted together like by design. You set me free!”

The crowd went wild. Eddie working out his anger and frustration at the way everything ended last night. The way their previous venue had shat all over everything because they were greedy bastards. The way that Chrissy had to step in and take over because without her, they probably would have played and gotten hurt.

All that rage, hurt, and anger channeled into his music and it pushed the crowd to a fevered pitch.

Finally when the note was played and the final encore performed, Eddie felt at peace. That was the real reason he did this. It was a way for him to channel his emotions constructively.

He loved it.

Part 7  Part 8 Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14 Part 15  Part 16

Tag List: @thegingerrapunzel @artiststarme @yes-im-your-mom @tiny-enthusiast @scheodingers-muppet @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddieassheg0es @nelotegreitic @anaibis @failedstarsandgoldenclouds @novelnovella @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @gleek4twd @gregre369 @whatthemeepever @cutepumpkin4 @spectrum-spectre @livelaughlexa @ohlook-afrog @linkydinky06 @goodolefashionedloverboi @moonshadows-13 @eboyawstenn @avacrebs @bejeweledbaby

[maniac-charmer]

Gone Away: Chapter 1

This story (and this blog) is strictly +18 minors do not interact.

Lee Know x Female reader.

Ex Best friend to lovers trope.

TW: angst

Word Count:2.5k

Series Masterlist

General Masterlist

It was the year 2008, where everything smelled like Victoria`s secret perfumes and rhinestones blinging in your eyes. Everyone holding their bedazzled flip phones in their palms, texting each other and taking pictures with their digital cameras posting them on Myspace. Idolizing Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Covering themselves with Juicy Couture, Brandy Melville, and fake Louis Vuitton bags. Everything smelled sickeningly sweet and artificial.

There you were, not exactly fitting in but covered in different colours and layer of clothing thinking it looked good, adapting to the fashion sense of the year. In your senior year in high school in your neighbourhood, in the suburbs from a high paid middle-class family. You were well of; you were able to afford anything you need but not able to afford anything luxury. 

In your high school there was different friend groups like in any other high school. Yours were just your friends. Some of them were ``cool`` but you wouldn`t say that for yourself. You were pretty much invisible, not having any issues with anyone but not having too many friends outside of your group. Your friend group consisted of 6 people. You were 3 girls and 3 boys, basically all attached at your hips, doing everything together and never spending any day without each other. You were closest with Minho or as everyone called him Lee Know, he was your best friend since you moved into the neighbourhood and for years, he was your everything. Your best friend, your family, your confidant also your neighbour. You two lived few houses away from each other, you having to walk in front of his house whenever you had to leave your street. Since he became a part of the football team in your high school, he was almost always in his garden working out or practicing in some way, which means you always run into him. Your family seeing him as their own son as well.

The rest of your friend group consisted of your friends, Sakura and Ji-min, your girl best friends and Han and Hyunjin, the other boys in the group. You were close friends with all of them, having a great friendship with them, enjoying their company and their presence during your high school years. 

Minho and Hyunjin were a part of the high school football team since their sophomore year and was really into the game itself. You tried to understand how football worked but you could not, you did attend their games regularly to support them. Han was not interested in sports, he mostly spent his time on his computer, gaming or to create music, he would always rap or sing stuff and he became one of your music and art teachers favourite student, giving him a role in any ceremony possible.

Han was very social and was friends with almost everyone in the high school, he mostly spent his time with your group and mostly Hyunjin but somehow always found time to be friends with everyone. Even sometimes against your friend groups requests. 

Lee Know was a stubborn and Mr. Know-it-all person. When he started to get annoyed with someone, no one can turn that back. If he loved you, he loved you too much and protected you at all costs. But for some reason, he did not like other boys from his team. And he was annoyed with all of them but for the most part he would complain about three particular boys. They were very close friends with each other, almost being attached from their hips. Bang Chan, Felix and Changbin. They were typical jocks but were good at heart. Never bullied anyone and would just mind their business. 

Lee Know would get annoyed whenever Han would talk about them or hang out with them, but it never stopped him. Han could be considered as the wild one in your group, and everyone knew that, even Minho, he somehow accepted that fact. 

In the start of your senior year, Han decided to celebrate his birthday in an extravagant party. He was turning 18 and he told your group that he had to go ``all in`` which you all cringed at. Lee Know did not like crowded settings and told you in confidence that he does not want to go but he will since he is a very close friend of theirs.

You grew accustomed to your group and routine. Spending your days with Minho, doing everything you can possibly think of together. You even wait for him during his practice in the library so you two could make the short walk to your neighbourhood together and spend the rest of your day together. It felt natural to be with him, effortless and right. He was everything you dreamed in a person embodied. He was extremely passionate about everything he did, he cared about you, he was thoughtful, an amazing person with a heart of gold and extremely attractive. You knew everyone in your high school had a crush on him or Hyunjin. They were too good looking for their own good. But Lee Know had a different aura, he was like a paradox. Leaving you questioning everything. 

You tried your best to not have a crush on him, you couldn`t afford to lose him. You learned how to live hiding your feelings, not make it obvious to anyone. It was the only secret you never told him, you couldn`t. You never know how he would react if you did. Would he get angry, or would he let you down gently? Although you hated not knowing things, you did not want to see how this plays out. 

You and your friend group helped Han with his party, he invited almost the whole high school, and it was going to be huge. He told your group that, since you were his best friends, you should look your best and have the best time, to set an example. You spent almost a week with the girls trying to find the best outfit and you finally settled on a sparkling silver bodycon mini dress and shoes to go with it. You felt amazing in that outfit, and you kept it a secret from everyone except the girls until the party. 

Before the party, you got ready with Ji-min and Sakura in Ji-min`s house and made it to the party with her car. When you finally were there, you saw Han and waved at him, who came running to hug you and complimented you a thousand times on how good you look. You saw Minho and Hyunjin making themselves a drink and thought about going to them, but Han dragged you next to the three boys your best friend despises the most. Felix, Bang Chan and Changbin making conversation with you making you feel like you were their friend for years and Han leaving as soon as he saw someone else, leaving you with them alone. 

You chatted with them and in a few seconds Bang Chan and Changbin disappeared to get some drinks, leaving you alone with Felix. 

Felix was attractive and nice. He complimented you and asked you for a dance, when you two made it to the dancefloor, he made you feel comfortable since he was an amazing dancer, leading you whilst dancing. You didn`t even notice Lee Know`s stares at you. You were amazed with Felix, his freckles, his cute smile, and his deep voice almost casting a spell on you, making you forget about your friend group who were also at the party. 

After a while, you decided to get some fresh air and that is where Felix kissed you. Your first kiss, under the stars, surrounded by drunk teenagers and loud music but it was perfect. He confessed that he had feelings for you for a while and asked Han to play matchmaker in this situation since you never left Minho`s side. You were oblivious but you agreed to go on a date with him and that is how your relationship started with Felix. 

Your relationship continued with the upcoming months and years. You attended your graduation prom, ceremony with Felix and your new circle that came with him. You spent more and more time with Bang Chan and Changbin as your relationship continued. Whenever you tried to hang out with your original group of friends you sensed the tension from Minho and Hyunjin. You knew that Hyunjin and Minho were close and that was the most probable reason of the tension. You felt uncomfortable and unwanted when you were with them. Feeling like they were just tolerating you for old times sake, they did not want to hang out with you. Except Han, he regularly strung along with your new friends. You had amazing time with them, they were fun to be around and protective of you like a sibling and it was easy to be with them. You choose to stay with them as well. 

Felix and your relationship were great as well, he respected you and treated you well. It was not the most exciting relationship, but it was a part of you now. You both gave each other the space you needed as well as the care. You were in a relationship, but you had a sense of self. You could explore your hobbies and new friends and focus on your education, but he would always be there when you needed him. 

The three years you spent with Felix was great, when you mentioned an opportunity for studying abroad, he encouraged you to pursue it since he knew you could be very successful. You applied and got accepted for it. You were going to continue your education in another country, far away from yours. You know that the money situation was not the best for you, you knew that you would have to find a job to stay there. You decided to give it a try anyways. Since you were living with Felix, you decided to help him find a new roommate and he found a guy from your college, he was okay, very quiet and kept to himself, but it was appreciated from Felix since he enjoyed the quite as well. 

You and Felix had a ``talk`` few days before you left about your relationship. He was honest with you, he told you he would always care about you but he couldn`t do the long-distance relationship and told you it would be best if you stayed as friends and he promised you he was not out of your life, your relationship turned into more of a friendship. You agreed, you spent three years together and it was great times, but you knew that going to the other side of the world and trying to keep the relationship was not going to be easy and it would be better for both of you if you stayed as friends. 

He took you to the airport with Han, Changbin and Bang Chan, all of them almost crying to see you go and promising you that they will keep the regular contact. You promised them as well, wishing you could promise the same for your old friends. You missed them, you saw them hanging out on social media regularly and posting it. You were first envious, but you made peace with it, some people grow apart. But it seems like you were always the one getting left out. 

You tried to focus on your new life in a new country. You made friends, they were not close, but they were there. You found a job and was very successful in your education and the outside. Landing an amazing paying job as soon as you graduated. You had a more stable life now. You kept in regular contact with your friends back in your home country as well as your new ones. When your company approached you with the idea of transferring to your home city in a higher paying position, you jumped to the opportunity. You wanted to be closer to your family and your friends and the pay was amazing. You couldn`t possibly say no to it. Although it has been years since you went back, you were happy to start a new chapter in your hometown. Only letting your newfound friend group known that you will be back to stay, and you found yourself an apartment near your workplace, excited for a new beginning. 

Bang Chan, Changbin, Han and Felix welcome you at the airport, with huge signs and claps, making you embarrassed and they basically tackle you to the ground hugging you and taking your luggage away. You haven`t felt this much attention in a while so you are happy, feeling of home and embrace surrounding you both mentally and physically. 

You stay with your family for a few nights, your house getting ready for you. You feel content being back. Feeling like finally you can breathe. You feel familiar and good for your new position in a well-known fashion magazine. 

You know that it was a huge responsibility, but you were ready for it. 

You have kept in somewhat touch with your old friend group, following them on social media except Lee Know. He never accepted your requests and never reached out to you. Even though you wanted to reach out for a while, you thought maybe you can, since you were back. But you were not hopeful. When you went back to your family’s house, you visited his family, but he was not there. They told you he was busy with his work and had long hours but never gave you any specifics, they never asked you what happened or why did you two had a fall out, but you were sure that they knew because he told them. 

It was a quick visit, you went back to your family’s house and left for your new apartment. It was perfect. Small but perfect. It had two rooms, one was your bedroom and the other was your study room, you a great living room, it was comfortable but modern at the same time. Your kitchen was on the smaller side, but it had everything you needed. 

You spent your first night in your new apartment, excited for your new job and new beginning. 

You got up before then you had your alarm and took a relaxing shower and got ready for your first day. You wore a matching skirt and blazer combination in neutral colour and wore a white shirt, deciding to go basic for your first day. You took your bag and wore your shoes and made your way outside of your apartment to call an uber. You didn`t have a chance to get your company issued car yet and expecting it in few days but you didn`t mind it. 

You were excited as you went to your workplace in your uber and when you arrived at the building, they made sure they welcomed you. You made your walk to your office and settled your bag there and after your new assistant gave you a tour of the workplace.

You entered the photoshoot room and your assistant started to introduce you to everyone and when your eyes land on the photographer you were stunned. It was none other than Lee Minho. 

[rabbitenn]

hello! is it alright if i request nagi x reader headcanons about how he would kiss his s/o 🥺 or maybe a scenario for a first kiss, thank you so much! i know you're doing a lot so please let yourself rest too and take your time!

ETERNAL NORTHERN LIGHTS.

How he kisses you, how it all started, lips on lips.

ft. Rokuya Nagi x gn! reader.

cw/genre: fluff, mild angst, spoilers for part 5 of the story.

Hello, nonnie and thank you for requesting ! I’m so sorry this took forever… I hope you still like it <3

— Nagi is a romantic at heart.

— He’s all about charming his partner and sweeping them off their feet.

— We all know he leans a bit towards the… more dramatic side of things (in a good way, we love Nagi).

— And, naturally, that includes every kiss and affectionate gesture he shares with you.

— He just can’t give you any kiss. Each one has to be special in one way or another.

— So that means lots of cute dates, at locations he somehow has managed to find in the walks he takes (with the help of the little animals that follow him around and Iori, who always tags along for some reason – which we all know, really.)

— The result is unforgettable memories, idyllic sceneries, and your awestruck smiles reflected in the starry nights of your lover’s gaze.

— He always manages to surprise you in one way or another. Truly like a fairytale prince, having the perfect happily ever after with his lover.

— About how he kisses you, Nagi is sweet and gentle, prioritizing sensuality over frenzied passion.

— He is very in tune with others’ emotions, so he’s quick at picking up what you enjoy the most.

— But, to describe Nagi’s kisses is to open a book full of love poems, dedicated to a soulmate by starlight, in the afterglow of northern lights.

— An aftertaste of tenderness with hints of secrecy lingers when you two part, a mix of longing and warmth in his wake, making you lean in for more.

— And because what kind of gentleman denies a kiss from their pretty partner, he indulges you (and himself) in more.

— That is, at least until Mitsuki calls him to resume practicing.

— Nagi’s whining to his groupmate elicits a few chuckles from you, the scene not unlike the one from your first kiss.

♡

Perhaps you were overstepping here.

In the quite literal sense of the word. Coming to a whole other country just to bring your boyfriend back… Some might consider it extreme, others would think of it as a beautiful love story.

But the thing is, you were worried.

You are worried.

Just like that, one day, Nagi left Japan. Both you and his group mates only got a letter, addressed to both.

It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like him.

And what’s more, he hasn’t replied to any of your texts, nor has he picked up your calls.

This is unlike him.

So, knowing the rest of his team were headed to Northmeir to get him back, you couldn’t let this chance pass.

You are grateful to Takanashi productions for letting you tag along; a journey of this caliber all by yourself would certainly have been way more heavy on your heart.

—

As IDOLiSH7 prepare to shoot their new music video, you sigh.

Sitting on one of the benches of the royal palace’s chapel, you hope your partner shows up.

After all, the last time you saw him, he refused to speak in Japanese with you and Mitsuki, and the wound of his silence still lingers.

“Nervous, [Y/n]?” A certain orange haired boy asks you.

You lean back, looking up at him upside down.

“Kind of… Just… What if it goes like last time?…” You trail off, as you hang your head. “I just- I hope- I want him back, Mitsuki.”

The idol leans his arms on the bench, a melancholy smile on his lips, yet in his bright eyes lingers a spark of hope.

“I have a feeling we’ll get him back, you know.” Mitsu utters, looking up at the frescoes decorating the church’s ceiling. “He loves you, [Y/n]. The Nagi I know would never give up on you.”

With that, the clock strikes six.

“Well, it’s almost time to film my part.” Your friend announces. “Keep wishing for him, okay?”

You nod, your chin on your hand as you sit sideways on the bench.

Outside, the stars shine golden.

—

The clock strikes seven.

And you feel like the world is at an impasse.

It’s about time for Nagi to film his part.

You all came here for him, he should arrive soon.

Your gaze directs skywards, and the northern lights above the horizon seem a little closer.

“Is your prince running late to the ball, my dear?”

You turn around. And an horizon’s worth of wishes is mirrored in the night sky eyes you so adore.

The eyes that you had missed.

“Nagi?” You ask, breathless, hands reaching up to cup his cheeks, perhaps to check if he’s really tangible or just a mirage.

He places his own on top of yours, thumbs tracing soothing patterns over the back of your hands.

“I’m here, beautiful.” Are his words before his lips lock with yours for the first time.

Fire outlines a skyline made of snowy mountains, an explosion of aurora borealis like a rain of shooting stars; despite being so cold out here, your lover’s hands are so warm against your skin, his lips speaking the words unsaid in the last few weeks.

Perhaps this land was truly magical, after all; this is a love story, your love story.

And there couldn’t be a more perfect ending to your first chapter.

Or well, maybe it could, since a perky voice interrupts you two.

“Oi, Nagi! Come on, you’re up!” Mitsuki calls him, with a smile on his face, holding back tears.

You chuckle, squeezing your boyfriend’s hand one last time, leaving a kiss on the edge of his jawline, as he completes your favorite rainbow.