#the ultimate izzy rambles

[suffersinfandom]

So I’m loving season two. Like, a lot. I told my housemate who didn’t, for some reason, stay up until 2:01 in the morning to watch episodes four and five as they dropped that they were the best damn television I’ve ever enjoyed, and I stand by that! But there’s something bothering me, and I know I’m not alone in this:

Izzy’s been accepted into the Revenge crew and Ed hasn’t, and that doesn’t feel fair. (I’m not talking about whether or not it’s right, okay? That’s a whole different ramble. This is about feelings!)

OFMD emphasizes the importance of community—of finding people who will accept you for who you are, of belonging to something. Season one focused on Stede creating something kinder than your traditional macho, hyper-violent pirate community on the Revenge, as well as on Ed realizing that he wants in on that. 

(And Ed does try to get in on that! After he thinks Stede has abandoned him—and after he gets the initial breakup moping out of the way—he turns to the crew. He likes being Ed; he wants to learn how to be Ed even without Stede in the picture, and he thinks that Ed could have a place in the community that Stede left behind. No, that community isn’t a fix for all of his issues; he’s still troubled. He’s not better, but he wants to get better. Izzy’s confrontation—you’re better off dead than like this, you’d better watch your fucking step—is the spark that ignites the powder keg that is Ed’s unresolved trauma. In the wake of this, the crew chanting and calling for “Eddie” to give them another song sounds like mockery. It sounds like hostility, and Ed only knows how to respond to hostility with violence. That violence destroys the community that could have supported Ed as he healed.)

In season two, Izzy is straight up bullied into the community that Stede brought about. He doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t deserve to be there, but this isn’t about what Izzy deserves: it’s about how the crew thinks people should be treated.  It’s about showing love to people who have messed up even if they aren’t sorry and tell you to fuck off. And I think that’s lovely! Izzy’s fun when he’s a playful asshole and not actively harmful like he was in season one. Rehabilitating that angry chihuahua into something that won’t bite anyone’s hand off is very sweet.

But wow, it hurts to see Ed banished from the community that took Izzy in.

And to be fair, I don’t blame the crew. They had very different relationships to Izzy and Ed in season one: Izzy was an asshole who bossed them around, and Ed was someone they accepted as a friend. In season two, Ed is the monster who terrorized them and Izzy is just another victim. I get it! 

And, like… I don’t hate Izzy. If I hadn’t watched season one, I’d probably even like season two Izzy. He’s pathetic and wet and hilarious. But I remember the way Izzy lied to Ed, insulted him, undermined him, betrayed Stede, bought Ed, and ultimately threatened Ed right back into the only defense he knows. No, Izzy isn’t solely responsible for the Kraken’s reign of terror—Ed is troubled, he has a fuckton of issues and trauma to work through—but Izzy bears some blame! And honestly? Even with all of that, I’m tempted to be okay with season two Izzy. He is at least aware of his role in the disaster that was the Kraken era, and subtly took accountability for it. That’s very cool, but it still doesn’t feel great, you know?

It doesn’t feel great because Izzy did absolutely nothing to get where he is. He didn’t become some kind of benevolent protector of the crew between seasons one and two; he didn’t try to become a part of this community that he scoffed at in the first season. He was rehabilitated, not redeemed.

It doesn’t feel great because Ed still isn’t welcome and he’s trying. Yeah, okay that silly not-quite-an-apology speech that Stede absolutely made up for him wasn’t all that great, but it was more of an attempt than Izzy’s made! And Ed has made himself intensely vulnerable in meeting the terms of his probation. He has agreed to get rid of his armor and his ability to move undetected. He’s trying to physically repair the ship that he damaged. He’s welcoming retributive justice, which is kind of fucked up (and, as Lucius found out, not always that helpful), but it’s the best he has.

(I think it’s important that the only instance of anyone actually apologizing with words—outside of Stede to Ed when he thought Ed was dead—is when Ed is fishing with Fang. Pirates don’t really apologize with words, they make things even by getting revenge. It’s violence for violence. Something about how Ed’s apologizing for an emotional wrong here, something about a budding friendship between Ed and Fang, something something.)

What am I getting at? I don’t fucking know. I don’t blame the crew for domesticating Izzy against his will while turning away from Ed based on what they saw and went through. I’m just sad for Ed. I want him to have the love and support of a community that accepts him as he wants to be, not as who he thinks he has to be to keep from drowning. 

A teeny little addition, because I totally neglected to say this: I'm not at all worried about whether or not all of this will be wrapped up by the end of the season. We've still got three episodes to go! This is just a thing that's been gnawing away at my brain.

Anyway, here’s some neat meta that’s written way better than whatever the hell this is:

How Izzy’s whole thing isn’t really about Izzy by forpiratereasons

No, really, it's not about Izzy by asneakyfox

Delicious meta about Izzy’s “redemption” arc by asneakyfox

[something-about-sunflowers]

Anyway! Have some rambling about an AU I thought of in my discord server a while back (mostly just gonna copy/paste it lmao):

Ed's super into paranormal shit, runs one of those youtube channels that reads stories/shows videos of hauntings/etc. He desperately wishes for something paranormal to happen to him. His best friend/fwb/'whatever they got going on', Izzy, is a skeptic.

Ed's new boyfriend, Stede, insists that he's a medium and that there's something haunting Izzy's house. Izzy always has an explanation though. (The lights are flickering because the place is old as shit and the electricity is shot. There are cold spots because the windows are drafty and the house isn't well insulated The creaks and thumps are the house settling or animals in the crawl-space. Etc.)

Ed calls him a buzz-kill but ultimately lets him be with his explanations until something happens that could have legit hurt Izzy (Honestly not sure what yet, maybe something falls that shouldn't have been able to or he gets locked in the basement all night in the middle of winter? Something like that.) and Ed is worried so he asks his other friend, Jack (who has his own youtube channel, where he does paranormal investigations as a medium), to come over and have a look to see if he can help.

Izzy thinks they're all full of shit but Jack agrees to not record it for his channel so Izzy lets Ed have this because 'I care about you Iz. I know you don't believe in all this shit but I'm worried and it would just make me feel better, letting you keep staying in this place, if someone came and looked at it.' and Izzy can't say no to that.

Izzy's surprised Jack isn't more like Ed (who's got the whole goth aesthetic) or Stede (who's got the whole 'white gay appropriating other people's cultural myths for clout' vibe) but just a normal (if a little frat-like) dude.

Jack's understanding of him being a skeptic and doesn't try to convince him, just talks about what he is thinking and feeling. He even commends him for checking the practical possibilities first (had the place tested for black mold/replaced the co detectors/etc) and he keeps getting little digs in at Stede so he lets them keep doing their thing without much fuss.

So he's not as dickish as he could be when he's told 'Yeah I mean, Steve's picking up on something, but man he's just barely dipping his pinky-toe in it to be honest? My heebies are fully jeebied!'

Stede starts to object about the name but Ed jumps in with a 'So the house is haunted?'

And Jack's like 'No. Whatever's here, it's not here for the house. It's here for Izzy.'

(I don't have much of the in between, because I like concepts but am notoriously bad at following through, but the gist is: Izzy gets full on possessed at some point, they all manage to save him, and afterwards Jack takes him out on a date to Waffle House.)

[arsenicflame]

Today on songs that have been absolutely consuming me as edizzy:

i debated adding it to my playlist for a while because i thought a song whos main hook is 'You must be a masochist' was a little on the nose but the more i listen to it the more i cannot deny that its them

i wont ramble on about all my thoughts but here are two sections to consider in specific:

So I cut out all the good stuff Yeah, I cut off my foot to spite my leg

obviously also on the nose considering s2, but my specific reading is with Izzy as the foot and Ed as the leg- Ed is doing everything he can to cut Izzy off so he can suffer for it! Izzy's the only one left who cares about him, and he doesnt want that- its so much easier to commit when theres no one there waiting for him. the song revisits this theme later with these lyrics, which only extends the theme:

Because that limb which I have lost It was the only thing holding me up

this song also does one of my most favourite things in songs- where the last section slightly twists earlier lines to change the meaning:

That that is you in front of me And you are back for even more of exactly the same Well, are you a masochist? You love a modern leper on his last leg And you're not ill and I'm not dead Doesn't that make us the perfect pair? You should sit with me and we'll start again And you can tell me all about what you did today

ultimately. Izzy's always gonna love him. hes always going to come back to Ed, whether its good for him or not. theres nothing Ed can do to change that. the only thing he can control is how it goes.

maybe, from that realisation, they can try to start again, just Ed and Izzy this time, and make something new. something thats better.

[lilithhedwig]

It's not even that Izzy died for me tbh

I mean yeah what people are saying is good and true and important and representation and whatever and I agree with a lot of it and it's good media/writing commentary

But more personally and viscerally speaking I fell in love with his character in S1 especially for how twisted and fucked up and tragic and desperate it all was, so I should be torn apart but delighted I think

But...... It's how they did it...... It's completely inconsequential and senseless and with basically no gravitas? They decided to make him good and happy and loved and redeemed and altruistic and I was okay with it (even though they kinda took the easy way out with that imo, they barely showed his progression he was just magically the best self aware guy), and then they... Fridged him? Just like that? Not even the redemption through death cliché?

Like I really liked the "I fed Blackbeard because I needed him because it was us" THAT was what I wanted but it was so random idk I think his arc was all over the place and that death made no sense idk it's just rambling but there's that

But basically his story was so far from being over esp with how they decided to frame it like sir you want the Growth™️ the Positive Rep™️ the Maturity™️ I'm fine af with that but then you kinda gotta put in the work a cop out doesn't cut it and I think that's why ultimately it's so incredibly unsatisfactory

[ccl-c]

some things i wanted to draw a while ago but never had the time because work has been so intense. now that s2 ended this way …

long rambling below:

i had been having a very bad feeling about the “devastating loss” and fuck it really happened (it being foreshadowed from ep1 is kind of funny but fuck).

i did enjoy the episode, and if this is the end of the show i'm good with that. ep8 isn't just about izzy's death obviously, nor is the season or the show about izzy, and i know it's a bridge season where problems are not solved, but i need a way to get over this, so.

within the episode i think the death is beautiful, but within his whole arc, for me it's the timing and david's explanations that i found kind of awkward and disappointing. it might be because the budget got cut but i think also because izzy's arc was a bit too prioritised especially if david wanted to stick to the mentor-death-in-act-two trope (izzy is my favourite character but i have been feeling the unbalance since ep3).

izzy's last speech sounded almost too early for ed's arc. letting a repressed traumatised amputated (also talented and romantic and sometimes humourous) elder apologise for what he believed half of his lifetime and die voluntarily (to some extent; i think he said “i wanna go” mostly because he knew the wound was fatal, but then why must it be fatal it was on the left side?) when he was just physically and mentally getting better is tragic but it also could have been a more satisfying death. i am very biased and very bad at literature, but i think if izzy and ed got to earnestly communicate about their relationship and past issues, if ed had more interactions with the crew to (re)build the mutual love, and maybe if besides telling ed to “just be ed” izzy really got to see it (when he's not dying), his story would be more complete and he would really be leaving at his happiest.

of course death is inevitable in life and unpredictable in piracy, of course there are tropes in tv shows, and of course it's part of the journey for the audience to feel devastated. but i read multiple interviews and the central idea just seems to be “the mentor often dies in the second act” which is valid in itself, but then s2 becomes “how can we make the most out of his last moments” (after posting this i heard that “funerals strengthen families” dropped; i'm just so disappointed i don't know what to say). honestly i was confused about how david said “let's give con all the toys he could play with” (yes if i had con in my show for one last season i'd want to let him do everything possible as well and i am grateful david did, but after all con played a side character; also it's cruel to “give him everything” while hiding the ending from him until halfway through the shooting); it's supposed to be a story and not a talent show (um). if time is too short for his ideal arc then maybe he should do fewer things but each better paced, or maybe the mentor-death-in-act-two trope needed to be adjusted, or maybe it wasn't the right trope at all.

i might be dumb but i didn't see the mentor-hero relationship before stede said blackbeard said izzy made him the captain he was, and even then i honestly thought it was mostly stede talking for ed. when david put it like that i can see little traits of it in s1, but i find the jesus-judas (jcs) dynamic much more obvious. let alone the father figure thing; didn't see it at all.

there are many ways to mark an end and for a recurring character to leave (buttons turning into a seagull was beautiful; the swede temporarily leaving to become jackie's husband was also lovely; but ivan's death mentioned by fang just looked like they had to get rid of him); ultimately what frustrates me is that it's unclear what the concept of death itself brings to izzy's arc at this point. major character “deaths” in this show is often associated with change or rebirth, and i'd expect a realistic humanly death from severe wound to also open up something new in his story or in general, even if his life ends here. maybe that's for s3. but for now he died just because their power-thirsty enemy hated him and his gorgeous speech and piracy; ed did not seem to consider the crew his family, nor did the crew seem to bother. piracy did become more about belonging though but that's not his legacy.

on a side note, letting a disabled elder (who was previously seen seriously irritating ricky) escort ricky and no one noticing ricky hid a gun? izzy was playing with fire (ha) to talk to ricky like that but at least ed and zheng and jim and jackie could have been more alert. then roach was asked to look for bandages and nothing happened afterwards? that was the guy who replanted his own arm back and who was ready to chop off lucius's finger. if he just came up to izzy's side and tried to take care of him and then izzy said “no it's too late i want to go painlessly”, or if someone said “let izzy and ed have their moment”, then okay, but having roach try to save izzy with no follow up is kind of disrespectful to roach's character.

with how much david loves izzy and con there probably was a better version of this story that didn't fully make it into the show. that said, i do work in a creative industry with various constraints in many directions; it happens that creators have intentions and priorities that the audience does not understand and vice versa, it happens that budgets got cut and what you deliver is not what you would have made in better circumstances, but when a mainstream tv show got such polarised reactions about one specific part of the story, there might be a real problem and the budget or the creative direction won't be enough to justify it.

then if all this is for izzy to be brought back in s3 i'm curious to see how it will be played out. his death was shown in such an explicit way and he even got buried on land (honestly the burial was weird and a bit creepy for me but well) it doesn't seem likely he survives again; it might be fun if he reincarnates as a creature or appears in new flashbacks, or in the gravey basket.

(also, now that izzy's dead, i hope con can share his version of the backstory of izzy's ring.)

my point is, maybe, that i think izzy's arc in s2 was so saturated and glamorous and full of potential that it felt too important to end, while the main romance and the crew's arc could have used some more time to address more context or some issues underlying since s1 for example. also lots of things weren't consistent and many interesting points were never addressed again, but i hope it's left open for s3.

but it doesn't undo what has been great about this show. the death scene itself was beautiful too, and the whole cast and crew deserve an hour-long standing ovation.

i guess it's just a bit like you went on a really fun roadtrip with a beloved friend but had an unexpected misunderstanding leading to conflict with said friend at the end of the last day. eventually you probably stay friends because you always had a good time, but you will be thinking about the conflict.

[luke-hughes43]

I’m Sorry. (Get Out part 2)

~Here is part 2. Hope you like it.~

Background: You are a softball player at the University of Michigan. You met Luke while on a recruiting visit to umich and began dating shortly after arriving on campus. The end of hockey season is rapidly approaching as is Luke leaving for New Jersey from Tampa. Talks of Luke leaving have been put off, due to both of you being busy with your respective sports as well as classes, but have been brought up just days before he’s leaving.

It’s angsty but 100% will turn into fluff.

(I’m calling her Isabella but having her go by Bella just because lol)

Bella’s POV

It’s been 4 days since my big fight with Luke and I haven’t seen him or talked to him since he showed up to my game the next day. I made sure the message was known that I was not gonna come crawling back to him and that he was gonna have to come to me. 

Granted, I have locked myself in my room when I’m not in class or at practice. It’s now wednesday, the day Luke leaves for the Frozen Four and ultimately the University of Michigan entirely. Win or lose in Tampa, it’s his last time as a Michigan Wolverine. And my heart aches for him because I know he loves this place and loves everything about Ann Arbor.

It’s like 10 am and I know that he has practice before they were leaving from the rink. I’m not gonna lie, I’m extremely sad that he never came and tried to apologize. I would’ve let him. I feel the tears roll down my cheek as I process the fact that it’s really over between Luke and I. 

I hear a knock at the door but I ignore it. I try to just burry myself in my blankets but the knocking doesn’t stop. I groan and go down to see who the hell is banging on my door. 

I open it and see Luke standing there. He’s sweaty and out of breath.

“Luke?”

“Hi. I only have like 10 minutes before I need to go back but I couldn’t leave without apologizing.”

“I’m listening.” I say guiding him into the house.

“Izzy, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean half the shit that I said and I’m sorry for telling you to leave. I’m scared of leaving Iz, and I’m scared of being on my own, and I’m scared of losing you.” He says rambling.

“Luke, you’re not gonna lose me. I promise. I love you and we’ll figure it out. I wish I could go with you because believe me, I want to so badly, but I just can’t yet. I need to figure things out on my end before I even think about it. I’m sorry.”

“No no no. Don’t apologize Izzy. You have nothing to be sorry for. I do, I’m the one who fucked up. I never should’ve assumed you were just gonna up and move to Jersey with me because I asked. I’m sorry making it seem like my career is more important than yours. You are more important to me anything else in this world and I’m sorry that ever made you think otherwise. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry baby.” He says. I hear the crack in his voice and see the tears rolling down his face.

I quickly wipe them from his face. I say softly while holding his face in my hands, “Hey. It’s ok. Luke, we’re ok. We both said some things that we didn’t mean but we’re ok. I promise. I love you.”

“I love you too Izzy. God I love you so much baby.” He says and kisses me. 

It’s only been 4 days but it feels like a lifetime without him. I wrap my arms around his neck and go on my tip toes to bring him closer to me. Eventually we pull away for air and we’re both breathing heavily. I smile at him and he returns it leading my to bury my face in his neck while hugging him as tight as I can. He tightens his grip on me too.

I say softly, “Luke, you have to go.”

“I know. I don’t wanna leave you though.”

“I know. I don’t want you to go either. But you have to. You have to go be my superstar and bring a national championship home to Michigan.” I say and play the ends of his hair. He leaves a kiss to my shoulder and rubs my back. Neither of us move an inch for a solid 3 minutes before I pull away. He groans and I say, “You need to go babe. I know it sucks, I don’t want you to go but you gotta. We’re ok, I promise.”

“Ok. There’s a box in my room at the house for you. Text Dylan when they get back and he’ll give it to you. The guys said you’re welcome there anytime and you can sleep in my room as often as you’d like baby. I promise to do whatever I can to make this work for us.”

“Me too. I’ll see you later ok?”

“Ok.” He says and kisses me. I pull away and walk him to the door. I open it and he pulls me in for a hug again. He’s stalling. I give him a tight squeeze before saying, “Luke, it’s time to go. Come on babe.”

“I know.” He says and pulls away from the hug but still keeps me close.

He smiles and then pulls me in for another kiss. I smile into the kiss before Luke pulls away and says, “I love you Isabella Smith. More then I think I’ll ever be able to tell you.”

“I love you too Luke Hughes.”

He smiles and then let’s go. He gives me a quick kiss before running down my front stairs. I say, “I’m proud of you and good luck. Tell the boys I said good luck too.”

“I will. I love you!” He yells as he starts running back towards the rink. I close the door once he’s out of sight. I have a smile permanently on my face for the rest of the day knowing that Luke and I made up and are gonna be ok. 

My phone buzzes and it’s a text from Luke.

lukey❤️: hey baby. made it on time to the bus. I love you so much and I’m so sorry that I was an asshole. I’m glad that I was able to make it to you before we left bc you are the best thing to ever happen to me. I’ll text you when I land in Tampa. good luck this weekend against Rutgers, I know you’re gonna do great. I love you Iz.❤️

I smile reading the text and let out a sigh of relief. We’re ok. And we’ll be ok for a long time.

[napneeders]

this is high rambles but my unwritten blackhands schrödinger's marriage origin story is that Ed both killed and didn't kill Hornigold and that's the origin of the rift between them

they were growing closer and closer and getting closer and closer to either admitting or having to face their feelings for each other but the seeds of tension are also there, and even though Ed isn't consciously doing it he's starting to notice a pattern in how he's not able to kill a man face to face, and to confess that and the patricide to Izzy would be a great moment of vulnerability if Ed just took the leap of trust

but that's when the mutiny happens and the moment Edward freezes with his knife poised over Hornigold is the moment Izzy connects the dots and he pushes Ed's hand and drives the knife into Hornigold's heart and the only thing either of them will ever admit to remembering is that Ed killed his captain, but the only thing Ed will want to remember is that Izzy did it for him

so the moment Ed becomes Captain Blackbeard is the moment that something cracks in their relationship, because it feels like a betrayal to Ed somehow that Izzy found out; and because ultimately Izzy's taking over did nothing to protect Ed from the horror of murder. Izzy failed from the start and it takes him years to grasp even a hint of it. so Ed shields himself instead of opening up, resents Izzy for uncovering his (perceived) weakness, and for years upon years they appear intimate as ever but each year they're less on the same page. it's a slow decline, in moments they are perfectly synced, most of all in their work, the planning, the fray, but those moments grow less and less, carry less and less of the weight. and they never, ever talk about the thing between them

[adickaboutspoons]

AH hahaha - oh @tvshowspoilers an excuse to ramble about costuming significance? Don't mind if I do, my v. dear.

So going from full gloves to half gloves is something that had me scratching my head too, especially since they were apparently so important to the Krakening that they got a close up during the magic girl transformation sequence. Twice.

From a Doylist perspective, it might just be that they forgot (like the way the Lighthouse painting and the Blackbeard lithograph carried so much narrative weight last season and now are conspicuous for their absence). But if we allow that it was a conscious decision, it’s helpful to look at what full vs. half-gloves represent. Full gloves represent Ed cutting himself off from human connection - the icy detachment of a man determined to wield control with an iron grip. 

Half-gloves, then, represent a tentative willingness to reach out - to touch and be touched - but with a measure of protective cover in place. But whereas in the pre-Krakening, that manifested in Ed making healthy connections - bonding with the crew, allowing himself to become softer, and, of course, falling in love with Stede - in the post-Krakening era, Ed is still reaching out, but as a form of self-harm. It’s all a simulacrum of connection, but specifically engineered to alienate and isolate Ed, and drive the crew’s resentment and fear to eventually culminate in murderous intent. He technically offers the crew sustenance in the form of cake, but it’s not something that would actually nourish them - stimulation in the form of rhino horn and raids, but it’s nothing like enrichment - communication, but only in the form of intimidation. And it’s not just the crew - in a way, Ed is also reaching out to Ned in another bid of passive suicidality - breaking his consecutive raid record while knowing that Ned’s a torturing psychopath in an attempt to goad him into painful and lethal retaliation.

But then we also get no-gloves! The times when Ed is open and unguarded or longing for a genuine connection. We see it in the first season at the French Party Boat where the way to “win” the interaction is by enticing the toffs to find him charming, but ultimately, the real connection he craves happens later with Stede in the moonlight, and then again on the beach when he confesses that Stede makes him happy and kisses him. With the second season, we see it as soon as Ed has recovered from his suicide attempt. In fact, the scene with the bunny goes out of its way to draw our attention to Ed’s bare hands. After being exiled, he is SO desperate for connection, ANY connection, that he latches on to the very first living creature he stumbles across. When the rabbit is so cruelly snatched away, he immediately latches on to Mary and then Annie, even knowing that they are kind of psychos and maybe not the most secure social safety net. But ultimately, it’s once again Stede who offers genuine connection. From then on, Ed is without gloves for the rest of the season, even after he re-dons his Blackbeard leathers.

With the loss of the cravat, I think kind of the opposite is going on. Obviously they remembered it, or they wouldn’t have brought it back just for Ed to put it on when he expected to die. So its removal had to be a conscious choice. Because, the cravat is positively overflowing with tasty symbolism  - it’s the one of the extremely few things of Stede’s that Ed conspicuously chooses to keep and therefore a reminder of the man himself, but during the Kraken transformation, I think Ed keeps it on because it’s a PAINFUL reminder; an albatross around his neck - a noose to steal his very breath. But ultimately, even a painful reminder is a reminder, and he can’t control whether it might sometimes also bring him comfort. So, I think in this case, what we’re looking at is denial as a form of self-harm. We see from his reaction to Izzy in 2x1 that Ed won’t tolerate even oblique references to Stede (“As a crew?”). I think this is indicative of his more generalized approach to the idea - refusing to allow himself (or anyone else) to dwell on Stede. So when we see him dwelling with his dollies, I think that’s the turning point - Ed tipping them overboard is his him making up his mind; a lover’s suicide. And THAT’S why he allows himself to put the cravat back on when he steers them into the storm.

Once he’s reunited with Stede, obviously he doesn’t need a reminder anymore - the man himself is right there. So Ed can let go of the of the negative connotations that go along with the cravat - no more albatross. Just Stede.

[thel0nliestsp1ral]

🌿 Favorite ship day! 🌿

I'm just going to ramble today since I didn't feel like throwing a drawing together. But my favorite ship is stede, Ed and Izzy all together.

This ship has a special place in my heart because it reminds me of me and my partners (the mostly good parts). Any 2 of them together on their own would ultimately fail but together? Together each person can sooth the other 2's problems.

Izzy and Edward together don't know how to talk and assume the others fine, pushing past their own problems alone until they can't and they explode on each other.

They also know the most about each others strengths and weaknesses, protecting each other no matter what because they can't loose the other.

Edward and Stede together is a push and pull of abandonment. They fear that the other will leave so they leave themselves, making both their own and the others fears worse with no idea how to fix it.

Yet they bring out different softer sides to each other, making each other feel safe and like a new person that could do better.

Stede and Izzy together just get on each other's nerves, their too opposite and seem to find and use the worst in each other.

But they also show that theirs different kinds of life's you can live. That what you think life is can always be different, for better or worse.

Together Stede could force Edward and Izzy to talk it out, to look at their problems and realize they need the help especially from each other. Izzy can be the rock that keeps Edward and Stede together till they realize that maybe they don't need to run away just because their scared. Edward can be the mediator in Stede and Izzy's fight, calming down and calling them out whenever they push too far.

Izzy will always be the first mate but that's what he needs, I think that possibly Edward might step down from captain at some point because he also needs direction. Stede though I inexperienced could be their direction.

[adzeisval]

Stede and Izzy: The Innkeeper

I’ve decided to go episode by episode for my Stede and Izzy rambling thoughts, so here goes. 

Stede and Izzy butt heads all through season one and their first meeting in season two goes much the same way with Izzy sarcastically saying it’s good to see Stede and Stede telling Izzy to piss off. 

While Stede keeps up the bitchiness, ultimately his actions towards Izzy are far kinder than one might expect. There are so many opportunities for Stede to choose violence and cruelty in dealing with Izzy and he doesn’t. 

In their first scene alone they’re in the Captain's cabin with an enormous pile of knives between them. Stede moves behind the table and looks down at the pile of knives before asking Izzy what he did with Ed. His hands are on the table, knives in easy reach as the conversation continues. How easy would it have been to go for the knives? To take out his anger and frustration by throwing one at Izzy? Or rushing Izzy and holding a knife to his throat until he got answers?

Stede doesn’t go for the knives though, simply asks Izzy what he did with Ed. He and Izzy have a tense back and forth but I think in that scene they start to understand each other better. They both love Ed. They’ve both hurt Ed.

“You and me did this to him,” Izzy says. And then Izzy moves the conversation on to the main concern and the reason he’s there; the crew. Another thing Stede and Izzy have in common, they want to protect their crew. Izzy came to him not just to annoy him; Izzy came to him for help. 

But then the reveal: Ed is dead.

Here’s where Stede’s kindness really shines. It makes sense that he saves his crew and takes back the Revenge, but he could have easily added getting even with Izzy to the plan. He could have left Izzy behind, pushed him back into the cell and locked him in, could have made sure he and Izzy were the last to cross over to the Revenge and leave him behind there. Could have gone with his dreams and killed Izzy.

Instead he saves Izzy along with the rest of the crew. 

Now there could be other reasons, wanting Izzy to suffer with what he’s done, thinking Izzy’s too dangerous as an enemy, needing more information from Izzy about how Ed died etc, but more than anything I think it’s Stede’s kindness, his desire to see the best in people, the recognition that Izzy is suffering, and the hope that Izzy can get better. He’ll give Izzy a chance, despite it all. 

And that’s all it takes to start turning Izzy and Stede’s dynamic from enemies to friends.

[laceratedlamiaceae]

For the character ask meme! Izzy, and (any of these numbers, your choice lol) 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 21?

(character ask meme)

Well I'm not not going to do all of them! I'd never pass up a chance to ramble about Izzy.

14. What outfit would you really like to see this character wear? Or what’s your favorite outfit of theirs?

Well first of all, it's absolutely imperative that he gets his tits out. Other than that, there's not much to improve on; I love the leather pants, and he can keep the vest as long as he leaves it open. Maybe he could get one of those leather daddy hats? IDK, he already looks pretty perfect.

15. Favorite line of theirs?

That's a hard one! I think ultimately I'll have to give it to the "oooooh" from episode 2. There's something about the delivery that's just perfect.

16. What do you think would improve this character? Like, character-arc wise?

He's already perfect, so the only thing I can think of that would improve his character arc would be to give him more screentime and make sure to validate his feelings. (I live in constant fear that his suffering will be played as a joke in season two; some parts of season one already get a little too close for comfort with that).

Actually they should just make him the main character! I know the whole point of Ed and Stede is that they're horrible, insufferable, unlovable people who found love with each other, and I love that concept in theory but it also makes them so hard to watch 😭 The show would be so much better if they were just there in the background for a few minutes each episode and most of the focus was on Izzy and the other characters.

18. What’s something you associate this character with? E.g. a certain color, object or scenery?

Ever since I noticed that both the scenes in the show with a storm focus on Izzy (I think I have a post about that somewhere), I think of him every time it thunder. I have no coherent thoughts about it but there's something there with the symbolism.

19. What would the show/book/movie be like if this character wasn’t present? (if it’s not an OC)

Stede would die on the Spanish navy ship in episode three and the show would end there, since Izzy was the only reason Ed heard about him in the first place. (truly the biggest tragedy of ofmd is that Izzy accidentally orchestrated Stede and Ed's entire relationship).

21. Wild card! Talk about anything to do with this character! Anything at all!

uhhhh I love him <3

[izzy-b-hands]

On a happier note, I am enjoying having to research baby milestones for the Midwifery Charge AU (fic and nostalgia rambles below the cut)

(which at this point, thanks to the help of a good friend, I've realised is best done as a collection of lil one shots from moments in it. I just. don't have the mental anything nor the organisation to do a multichap full fic rn. Y'all know I lose steam too easily on those and just don't do them as well as I do simple oneshots. I wrote a full original trilogy at age 10 and again at like age 21; I used all my 'full multichap project' juice too early in life AND both trilogies kind of sucked ass. RIP to them may their memory never find me again let alone be a blessing but I digress)

Bc it means I get to remember all the cute shit the cousins did when I was helping raise them and like. certain bits can be used for baby in the fic even!

Like how the oldest one learned to roll over from one direction, but then couldn't replicate it going the other way, and she would just. lose her shit wailing until someone rolled her over that way. Then she was good until oh fuck oh no, she rolled over right to left again and to her lil brain it was too different from rolling left to right, she's stuck forever oh g-oh hey someone rolled her back to her tummy. neat.

We never let her sit for more than a second or two stuck (mostly to try and encourage her to. ya know. Realise that she could in fact roll herself both ways and it would be fine. Took her time but she got there lol) and I'm just

Dying at the image of the crew so carefully taking turns watching Baby (who I'm gonna reveal bc I don't think I have yet? if i have ignore me lol, is named Basilica after Izzy's deadname (he gave her the name, there's an entire Thing abt it and little moments abt his journey as a trans man tucked into this au), going by Baz for short (thank u to the aforementioned good friend for this as a nickname for the full name, bc I was struggling to figure out how to shorten it and Baz is !!! perfect!!!) )

And she's been with them longer than expected. 4-6 months is the average that I've found for when babies learn to roll over, so maybe she's abt 5 months old at this point.

Doing tummy time with Fang and she does it! Right to left rolling over, absolutely perfect, stunning, no notes, they're gonna make her a medal but-

Oh no. She's gotta roll left to right now, and instead of rolling the other way she just panics and weeps and everyone on this ship is a big fuckin softy (i get it lol, I was with the cousins) so they keep rolling her over the other way to calm her.

Until they have a crew meeting and Jim mentions Nana telling them that sometimes, babies have to just. cry for a minute or two and learn how to do the thing. You can help, but first you have to let them try and encourage them to do it on their own. (they gloss over the fact that Jim also makes clear with this anecdote that Nana absolutely would have taught a baby how to throw a knife. And honestly, is she wrong for this? who can say, not me, but I like knives and think a baby with a knife is hilarious, so I'm biased. I'm never gonna have kids, don't worry lmao.)

Cut to everyone having tummy time while the ship is docked/anchored somewhere safeish (let's be real, for the Kraken crew, nowhere is really fully safe with all the raiding they've been doing. But Ed and Izzy and Fang all know the quieter spots other ppl have forgotten that they can rotate going to for moments like this)

In a circle, around Basilica on the blanket Frenchie designed and knit for her, while she whines and cries bc goddamn it, why is rolling the other direction so hard? So scary?

And they're all lowkey trying not to cry (Ed and Izzy the most out of all of them, for varying personal reasons that all ultimately culminate in a want for Basilica to have a better childhood than they did, including the little moments/early achievements like this) while babytalking like mad, trying to encourage her to roll the other way

It's just not happening, but juuuust as Izzy is abt to break and gently roll her over, a cannon booms in the distance

And if that adorable little shit doesn't roll left to right, then again, trying to lift her head up to see where the big noise came from. She's not even crying anymore, she's just curious!

Unfortunately, said cannon is a sign they need to head out, so they have to pick her up and get her settled in Ed's room(really Ed and Izzy's room, by this point. Are they back together in a healthy way? Not really, but they're Aware of their mutual issues and are just barely talking some of them through. or starting that process, at least) for her own safety and now she's crying bc she's so mad! She wanted to keep rolling over! She was literally on a roll, how fucking dare they pluck her off the floor so easily!!

Despite the potential incoming danger of another ship, everyone is giggling as they get the ship moving. I'm envisioning it like. U know when a baby is So Mad So Incensed, they're making those angry babbles that are loud enough to hear a room away? That sound is all they can hear aside from the waves and the far off cannon fire, and it's a mood lightener. Yeah, they might be about to fight for their lives, but listen to her! She's swearing! (I do absolutely have an idea for her first word being 'fuck' thanks to Izzy lmaooo)

And they're all as excited to escape not just for their lives, but so they can lay the blanket out again and have her show off her new skill. A little soft moment in between having to fight to save themselves or raiding for more loot (and baby gear/supplies, my god not a one of them ever thought they'd be threatening ppl for additional cloth diapers but. here they are lol.)

Anyway. Eventually I'm gonna get all the snippets posted up in an ao3 collection, including the few I've already posted here. When I get that started I'll drop a link, in the meantime I'm gonna see if I can get my brain to actually finish another oneshot for this au today lmao

[yourassimcomingforit]

A disorganized ramble about ofmd by me so that I don’t explode

Just gonna start off with FUCK THIS SHOW IS GOOD AND I CANNOT WAIT FOR SEASON 2 TO CONTINUE now with that out of the way we see throughout the show Ed threaten to off himself but he never goes through with it cause just like stede he’s to scared of death he’s scared of being the one to kill something whether it’s another person or himself which makes him a really interesting parallel to stede and the ways they react to having killed someone, ed tries to ignore it and makes up a story to place himself away from the murder while stede sees the one he killed at every turn and can’t forget it. Another super interesting parallel is the way they both think they’re unlovable with Ed it’s super obvious he’s constantly saying it but with stede he just never thinks to seek out love he grew up knowing he’ll never find someone to love and marry so he never really thought to look for love and when his marriage fails well obviously he couldn’t find love there so he can’t be lovable. Onto Izzy and stede they both love Ed in such different ways Izzy loving Ed only when he’s Blackbeard and suffering the most when Ed is cruel and mean and torturing people the moment Ed finds something better or tries to be better he drags him right back. Izzy and Ed bring out the worst in each other Izzy making Ed worse and Ed actively harming Izzy making him rage at the crew. In contrast with Ed and stede where they make each other happier Ed slowly sees that maybe he is lovable and stede finds that love is a possibility, they teach each other things and just make each other better.

Now back to Ed and his wanting to die he’s always threatening to do it whether it’s putting a gun to his head or telling someone else to kill him he’s always outsourcing his suicide and even in s2 e3 he outsources it throughout the episode we see him on a beach but at the end we see that it’s all just him hallucinating/dreaming it but we do see that he’s still not able to be the one to do it himself he dreams of his old captain whatever his fucking name who he hates being on the island with him who ultimately leads him to a cliff with a rock tied to his waist and shoves him off it’s another example of him outsourcing his death he can’t do it himself so he dreams of someone else doing it for him instead of realizing the true reality of it.

Now onto his little spiral into insanity when we first meet him he’s already pretty damn crazy and just tried of life but meeting stede brings back a meaning to his life and he’s happy and at the end of s1 e9 they’re getting ready to escape and have a happily ever after but stede ends up running away making Ed think he doesn’t want him anymore it’s a perceived rejection cause even though stede clearly loves him, him not showing up to escape with him brings back his preconceived notions of being completely unlovable and that sends him spiraling. The man he loves who made him happy suddenly rejects him and leaves him alone ripping away all his plans for happiness and love. He goes back to the crew and just wallows in his depressing and sadness before of course Izzy drags him right back into Blackbeard but this time it’s even more toxic because it’s fueled by the sadness and anger of stede leaving him behind nothing he does makes sense, throwing treasure overboard to steal more treasure cutting Izzy up for every single thing etc it’s all him projecting his hurt into everyone else instead of dealing with it properly. It all leads to him seemingly getting better talking with Izzy and getting closure getting of the drugs but it’s not it’s him gaining “clarity” the calm before the storm because he immediately drives the ship straight into a storm ripping the wheel off and preparing to set the masts on fire killing him and everyone on the ship. But of course he can’t kill anyone directly he can’t pull the trigger so he’s gonna have the fire and the storm kill them all when that fails. That leave him depressed suicidal and in the aftermath of a failed attempt that leads him to his little hallucination/dream that I talked about earlier.

An interesting thing we see throughout the season is new relationships forming from the ashes of old ones Mary and stedes failed marriage leading to Mary and Doug, olu and Jim leading to Jim and Archie and the short lived relationship of olu and Susan which ended because she ya know tried to kill all his friends. We even see this with Ed stede and Izzy, Izzy and stede keep fighting for a relationship with Ed by trying to burn the one he has with the other to have one with him.

I know I’m forgetting something else I wanted to say because I accidentally deleted an entire section of this but that’s all for now on my thoughts about ofmd. I blame this all on my friend who weaponized my autism to watch this show while I was still suffering from gomems. Gonna go explode have a wonderful morning evening afternoon and night

[irregodless]

so lets talk about that book

ive not read the entire thing yet for reasons ill get into in a minute (FOOTNOTE: this will be explained later)

TLDR: remember if you comment negatively on my review without reading all of it i will report you and also youre wasting your life by saying anything negative ever

the character we are introduced to is venus who seems to vacillate between being pious and believing she is Literal Evil Made Manifest. whenever she is around the prose becomes insufferable to read at best and unreadable at worst using turns of phrases no one has ever even thought to use or stating things that at first seem figurative but turn out to be very literal and the inverse of that

and i do mean WHEN SHES AROUND. the beginning of the second chapter begins with actually competent prose which follows until venus shows up again. her presence also brings with it an annoying amount of footnotes and often for things that dont need them (diablo is latin for devil) while not having them for actually uncommon words or phrases OR are used to describe plot elements in the most egregious example of telling instead of showing possible sometimes even half explaining it and then saying itll be explained later in the book. sometimes the footnotes are given for words that are explained in the rest of the sentence.

because of this izzy and i, while we were reading, labeled her as Narrative Poison, a cognito hazard who fundamentally affects the story on a meta level. now this concept is interesting. if i could trust the author. but the author has ruined her ethos for me even outside of personal interactions

if venus is intended to he bad, this brings new problems with it. the first is that even the competent prose is lousy with evidence it was not proofread well or read out loud for comprehension at all. even if venus is supposed to mark bad narration it should still be enjoyable to experience and not a pain

the next issue is that the book opens with her rambling prose which gives equal attention and detail to everything no matter how inconsequential while treating anorexia and disease as a moral failing, and confusing muscular atrophy with muscular dystrophy. a books opening should serve as a hook and while the opening doesnt have to be perfect you have damaged your trust with your readers. they read that and that is the impression they get. they are unlikely to give you the benefit of the doubt UNLESS they too believe in elegance over readability. and even then they will be blindsided over the head by the sudden and abrupt change in narration styles that do not flow

pb flower includes a lot of cultural references but most of them fall flat instead seeming like they bolster the story. ace just lists some norse mythos words that dont ultimately mean anything together. theres a lot of islamic terminology and references to indic mythology id delight in learning about if at any time they felt a. like they served any purpose other than hey look what words i know and b. didnt usually just amount to shortened wikipedia explanations. few of the cultural references land and some only prove the authors lack of familiarity with them like a certain navajo spirit starting with s that People. Are. Not. Supposed. To. Say.

related to nothing but ace randomly speaks welsh often before repeating himself in english and the way flower presents it makes it seem more like welsh is just a heavy accent than a language not unlike this bitch speaking japanese. thats not like a callout its just the only way it makes sense.

so now lets talk about ethos outside the book. in her blazed post flower is asked if the book is written by ai. she says ai was made by humans so there is absolutely no distinction. after i pointed this exchange out she deleted the comments and began claiming that she, her, she wrote the book. i think she said it took 3 months? which um... it shows.

she has not denied that it was written by ai but she HAS explained that to her there is no difference. i can no longer trust anything she says especially if she DID use an ai and she believes that that constitutes having written it. but when i asked my followers how they felt about a physical book priced at 25 dollars OSTENSIBLY having been written by ai. she, at least apparently she, sends me an anon saying she will report me for "defaming her copyrighted work" and i cannot speak poorly about it if i havent read it. she also makes a post asking if when you review something poorly if it was because it was actually bad or because you didnt gel with it. flower has thus proven a lack of ability to handle criticism maturely or professionally as she didnt even make an attempt to in turn say "hey this isnt ai dont keep spreading lies about my work it was a miscommunication" which even if she did send that to me now.... i couldnt believe her. and yet if she sees this review shes probably gonna try to report me again having proved she cant handle criticism especially since the post seems to imply that the only reason you would leave negative feedback is because youre a sorry little hater.

i would love to believe that venus is actually meant to be narrative poison maybe even that flower used ai to write her and if she did that would actually be quite clever! i MUST admit! but the thing is: i cannot trust her as an author. and so am i willing to give her 200 pages worth of my life trusting in someone who has proven i cannot trust her to prove her concept? to trust that she would even attempt listening to my criticism without just writing me off as a hater? well, to quote her post "lifes too short, move on."

anyhoo itd be disingenuous if i didnt at least share some highlights from my read. perhaps ill add on more thoughts for now but without going into details like "obedient ebony" heres a good place to stop for now

that last one is the most resonant with me :)

[joemazzhello]

i wanted to write some sappy shit about how much Joe means to me so i’m putting it below the cut so you don’t have to burn your eyes reading it if you don’t want to because it’s very long and very cringy 

edit from after i wrote this: wow i feel awkward maybe publishing this because it made me quite emotional and it’s literally only been a month but i would def recommend to people to write out your feelings, this has helped me a lot. If you do, tag me in it because I would love to read your experiences with the movie, band, or the boys! 

ok so honestly i’m very new to Joe’s work (apart from watching Jurassic Park obvs) but he already means a lot to me so i’m just going to try and express this the best way i can.

Since I was 12(?), my friends have called me obsessed with men, which i don’t argue and i think is funny, because it’s totally true. I have a list of 41 celebrities I love on my phone and my billboard next to my bed is covered with magazine covers of some of these men. While i think they are hot, i’ve never felt the way about them the way i do about joe.

When I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody, I was not excited. I wasn’t a fan of Queen and the movie had been getting mixed reviews. Afterwards I thought the movie was good (far from the best movie ever) but it did make me want to listen to Queen. So thats exactly what I did for weeks, and when I got bored, I would watch the music videos on youtube, which led me to interviews. Then it went downhill (or uphill, depending on how you look at it).

I had known Rami from Night at the Museum (one of my favs) and had a crush on him in that movie (who didn’t). So I watched a load of interviews with him because I knew him which led me to loving the whole cast. Then Gwilym stood out to me because he’s more conventionally attractive I would say. I actually never had a crush on Ben (sorry) but I loved, and still love, the whole cast. 

Then as I started to actually get into the band members, John stood out to me. I definitely think John is the best member of Queen. I love his songs and his skills are amazing. Don’t get me wrong everyone in Queen is amazing but I think I can just relate to John a lot so he stands out. Anyway, that meant that when I watched the movie again, I stared at Joe the whole time.

After that I was just gone with Joe. Any interview you watch he stands out as funny, kind, intelligent, and so passionate about what he does. I went down my usual route of what I do when I find people attractive. Watch any interview ever, screenshot all the pictures I can find, follow the stans on tumblr, and put them as my background on my phone. But seeing the love for the cast and the band on here, I felt more love towards Joe than any other celeb I’ve crushed on and I finally caved, making this sideblog, going further than I have ever gone before for a celebrity crush.

This year has been a pretty shitty year for me. I’ve been so stressed for it to not work out leaving me feeling pretty depressed and feeling like I’m stuck. Nothing serious, but enough to make me feel low most of the time. I mostly feel as if I have nothing to look forward to in life.

Now this is going to be very cringy and cheesy and I know me in 5 years (or maybe even a week from now) will hate myself for writing this (thats what secret sideblogs are for right?) but seeing Joe with his passion and laughter has made me think a lot about who I want to be. Unlike any other celeb I’ve crushed on (out of 40!) I can see myself having a future with someone like Joe, and he has reignited my want for family and someone who loves and respects me (also he’s really hot). I am not a huggy or touchy person and I find it hard a lot of the time to think myself wanting to be cuddly with someone. But when I think of Joe I can imagine me being like that, just wanting to be as close as possible. Mainly, that dastardly picture of him with those little boys has wrecked me about a million times thinking about how I want my future to look. He has been through so much recently but continues to laugh and smile which really inspires me. While I would love to be with Joe, the most important thing is he has reminded me of how I want to live my life and what I (hopefully) have to look forward to.

With that cringefest over (r/sadcringe am i right) I wanna say thanks for the support on this blog and lets hope I don’t just get over Joe like all my other crushes but honestly I don’t see that happening anytime soon. Also if you read this whole thing you are crazy and I love you.

TLDR: I love Joe with every fibre of my being 

[nicnacsnonsense]

What Stede did wasn't "worse", and it's really fucking gross and pathetic of you to insist that it was.

Stede was traumatized. His actions hurt Ed, but they were not intentional, they were not deliberate. He was in shock, he disassociated. For fuck's sake, the man walked for miles, barefoot. You don't choose to do that.

You know who did, deliberately, choose to leave, and who hurt Stede when he did it?

Ed.

Ed, who never once stuck up for Stede (he never would have burnt a ship down for Stede, he fucking let Izzy undermine his authority and stab him, he let Calico Jack insult him and call him the wrong name), who never listened to Stede (every single time Stede tries to open up to Ed, Ed shuts him down).

I am so fucking sick of this fandom acting like Ed is somehow faultless and perfect when he treated Stede pretty fucking bad, actually, and rather than pay attention to Stede's obvious breakdown he was having on the beach, Ed made it about Ed's feelings and what Ed wanted.

Anon, my dear friend, if I may, I would like to speculate as to what happened here. You came across my post, perhaps it crossed your dashboard, perhaps you stumbled upon it in the stede bonnet or ofmd tag, and saw it as yet another example of everyone in this fandom being against Stede and never being willing to cut him any slack at all. And you felt so angry and frustrated by this constant barrage that you just had to say something. I understand, Anon. Why just the other day I was musing on my desire to go on anon and threaten to bite everyone who called Stede passive aggressive. And that is far from the only Stede take that has inspired that urge in me. You and I are kindred spirits in this, Anon.

But what I am certain you did not do is take a look at my blog and check my other posts before coming to your conclusions about my opinions on Stede. This was perhaps a failing on your part, but I do not fault you for it. Still, I would urge you to go take a peek through my stede bonnet tag now, as I suspect it will be quite to your liking. For what it will show you, and what anyone more familiar with me and my blog would have been able to tell you, is that here it is Protect Stede Bonnet hours all day every day. He is my cPTSD autistic son, who has done some things wrong in his life, yes, but not nearly so many as he is accused of and has been treated very unfairly by the fandom. In fact I suspect the only reason I am not an outright Stede Apologist is there just isn't much in the way of a Stede apologia echo chamber to get sucked into in this fandom, so I am regularly exposed to the opinions of people who think less highly of him.

It's actually very frustrating at times -- if I may vent to you here for a minute, Anon, as I think you'll understand -- because whenever I make a post supporting Stede or criticizing other characters in relation to him, I almost always feel this pressure to qualify it. To acknowledge that Stede still made mistakes too, or that ultimately the evidence isn't completely conclusive and other things could be true, or settle on suggesting equal fault even when I really think that Stede was the party done the greater wrong overall. I just wish I could make a post about how great a person I think Stede is without feeling like I have to add caveats because otherwise no one will engage with it, or they'll come at me accusing me of who knows what. (Not you, Anon. While I would encourage you to come on a little less strongly at least in initial approach and assume people are acting in good faith in the future, rest assured that I received your ask in all good humor.)

Now that I've rambled for quite a bit, let's move on to your actual concerns, yes? To start with let me assure you that I am fully aware of Stede's extremely traumatized state when he left Ed; it is even referenced in the tags of the original post. I am also generally in agreement with you that Stede was dissociating for his journey back to his house, though I know others disagree and I find those interpretations to be perfectly reasonable as long as we are all in agreement that he was not in a mentally stable place from which to be making sound & rational decisions.

As to saying what Stede did was worse, first I wish to make certain I was clear in my original post that I only intended to compare Stede's failure to meet Ed at the dock to Ed's failure to leave the dock to make sure Stede's absence wasn't because he had found himself in trouble. If we do understand that, well then you bring up an interesting question, Anon. How do we judge the morality of an action? Do we base it on the outcomes, the good done and harm caused, or on the intentions of the person acting? If circumstances make it harder for a given person in a given situation to make the right choice, then how does that impact our judgement, especially in situations where so much of the circumstances are internal and we as external viewers have no way of truly assessing how much more difficult it actually is? How much allowance do we make for a person acting from ignorance rather than knowledge? How do we compare an action with certain outcomes versus one with uncertain outcomes?

And that's before we even get to your addition, Anon, of the time when Ed left Stede in episode 8. Because comparing that to Stede's leaving highlights another important part to this conversation; that this is all happening within a fictional narrative where the characters serve as narrative tools to further the story and messages. Now, I believe there is much value in analyzing characters as though they were real people making real decisions and find people who insist characters should always be approached from the lens of being fictional to be perhaps well-intentioned, but frequently rather elitist. Still, there is also value in approaching characters with the idea in mind that they are specifically designed beings who live in a specifically designed world that is presented through specifically designed framing. The framing of these two moments treats Ed leaving Stede as something serious, but Stede leaving Ed as being nearly catastrophic. This framing gets internalized by large portions of the audience, which affects how they feel about each of these actions, which can shape their moral judgement of the actions. And perhaps that was the intended message of the writers, or perhaps the comparison was intended to communicate something else, or perhaps the framing of each of these moments was intended to convey something about the moments themselves, but not in a way that would allow them to be directly comparable.

I'm afraid in all this I have no definite answers for you, Anon. All I can say is for my part, I do still consider Stede leaving Ed at the docks to be worse than Ed staying at the docks and failing to check on Stede. For, while there are aspects of each of these two decisions wherein Ed comes off worse, they are not enough for me to override the fact that Stede's actions were guaranteed to directly harm Ed whereas Ed's actions only had the potential to allow Stede to harm through inaction. As to comparing each of the moments where one of them leaves the other, I truly couldn't say, so I leave deciding which is worse as an exercise to the reader, presuming they find value in such a pursuit in the first place.

Next we come to the other accusations you level at Ed, some of which I feel have merit, but others of which I think are perhaps you allowing your affinity for Stede and desire to defend him get the better of you. Certainly there were occasions where Ed failed to stick up for Stede when, as a good friend and partner, he should have, but I think in your heart you know that it's not true that he never did. Otherwise, what would you call it when Ed stood between Stede and a firing squad and willingly signed away ten years of his life to the British Navy to save Stede?

In regards to Izzy, there is a scenario where Stede did not accept Izzy's challenge to a duel, and in that scenario it would indeed be Ed's responsibility to force Izzy to back down and fall in line. But once Stede accepted the challenge, it was taken out of Ed's hands. He could not force Izzy to bow out of the duel at that point without undermining Stede's own authority to accept the duel nor without communicating to all present that Ed has no faith in Stede and his abilities. Stede chose to accept the duel and Ed is obligated to honor those choices.

To the matter of Calico Jack, I have no defense that could excuse Ed's actions, nor do I have any wish to do so. Certainly a fair accounting of Ed's actions here should include consideration of Jack's manipulations of him and even that Stede's attempts to communicate his displeasure did happen to hit upon some of Ed's own insecurities, but none of that negates that Ed is a full grown man responsible for his own actions and choices and who was perfectly capable of realizing Stede was feeling hurt by what was going on and addressing it, but failed to do so.

And now to your last accusation, that Ed never listened to Stede and his feelings. I will say that I disagree with your specific claim that Ed ignored Stede's clear breakdown on the beach, because I do not see Stede's reaction there as being outwardly extreme enough to constitute a clear breakdown. However to your broader point that fandom in general has it backwards and the lack of communication between Ed and Stede, especially as concerns Stede's emotions, has more to do with Ed's failure to listen than Stede's failure to be open, I do very much agree and have enumerated on it at length, and plan to continue to do so in the future. I even agree that Ed ignored a clear breakdown that Stede was having, though I tie that to Stede's breakdown in episode 4 rather than the beach scene. It's very odd that the perception seems to be that Ed is emotionally open while Stede is not, when the reality is Stede frequently asks after how Ed is feeling, while Ed does not.

And in conclusion, Anon, I do have one last thought to offer in response to one of your comments:

I am so fucking sick of this fandom acting like Ed is somehow faultless and perfect when he treated Stede pretty fucking bad

Girl, same.