#the universe knows what mike wheeler is

[theladyrebecca2]

The exact second the search result loaded on my amazon for the new funko pop of mike holding will's painting... my sister (completely unaware) opened a reel/tiktok that played smalltown boy 🥹

[dearwillbyers]

formula 1 driver mike wheeler and his journalist bf will byers. do you see the vision?

[byler-is-endgame7]

the rocks transported to mike's head after this

[gmaybe666]

mike wheeler core

[uselessnbee]

all the Mike theories make me think about how there's a big chance Mike in s5 will become even more similar to Wei Wuxian

• WWX spending some time in a hellish place (burial mounds) - Mike spending some time in a hellish place (upside down)?

• WWX having dark powers - Mike having dark powers?

• others seeing them as evil for those powers?

• them being the vaillains (even tho they're not)?

• them always seeing their worth only if they're useful and needed but now they feel like no one needs them and like they're a burden and useless and it's making them spiral into depression and self destructive behaviour?

• them fighting with the poeple they love and losing them in the process what pushes them even more into the darkness?

• WWX dying - Mike dying?

• cql WWX committed suicide - Mike committing or attempting suicide or sacrificing himself?

• the version of wwx's death where he was killed by his brother after he lost control of his powers - everyone finds out about Mike's powers and how he did all of this and Nancy still struggling with her own guilt and everything loses it and-GUNSHOT

but also

• wwx being brought back to life and getting his happy ending with the man he loves? with the man who's loved him this whole time and never given up on him and never hated him for his powers and saw him for the kind soul he is not for some evil demon?

bisexuality?

[blue-blue-blooms]

A Little Crush   

Eddie Munson x Henderson!Reader

Part 1

Summary: In which Eddie develops a crush on the Henderson sister.

You weren't sure exactly when your life had gone to absolute shit. Was it when you found a strange, superpowered adolescent girl living in Mike Wheeler's basement? Was it when you walked in on a baby demogorgan eating your cat? Or was it when you were drugged by evil Russians operating under Starcourt Mall? You couldn't even remember a time when life was normal. If someone had told you that you would become best friends with Steve 'The Hair' Harrington and fight literal monsters from an alternate universe alongside Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan 'The Creep' Byers a few years ago, you would've laughed in their face. Now? You'd survived the most traumatising events of your life alongside these people. You were bonded for life.

The last few years had also made you closer with Dustin. You loved your baby brother and his weird friends, especially since you'd spent so much time babysitting them. But no amount of love could make you say yes to what they were asking of you.

"Please?" Dustin begged, following you down the hallway as you made your way to Ms. O'Connell's class.

"No! I have, like, three essays due this week, Dustin. I don't have the time to sub." You respond.

"It's only for tonight! Lucas can't make it and we really need a sub. We're nearly done with the campaign and Eddie will kill us if we make him reschedule!" Dustin pleads.

You were really happy that Dustin and Mike had found a safe space in high school. Lord knows those two idiots needed it. Freshmen year is probably the toughest of them all. You're new, scared, and lonely. You were really glad that they'd found friends, a place where they could be their nerdy selves and feel accepted. Hell, even you'd dabbled in their interests when you'd babysat them. DnD wasn't half bad, and not nearly as hard to undertand as you once thought. You'd spent many nights in Mike's basement playing with them. The first few times, you'd get your character killed in the first fifteen minutes. But after a while, you started making progress (even though you're convinced that the party was exceptionally lenient with you after you once burst into tears over getting killed off).

"I'll do your half of the chores for a week!" Dustin exclaims.

That makes you stop.

"A week?" You turn around to look at him, "Make it two weeks and I'll sub."

"Two? Are you insane!?" Dustin yells, making a few people lingering in the hallway turn and look at you both.

"Two or no deal, Dusty Buns," You tease, "And be quick, I'm late for my class."

"Fine!" Dustin says, "And stop calling me 'Dusty Buns'"

"Why? Is that nickname just for Suzy Poo?" You tease.

Dustin glowers at you as you walk off.

♡♡♡

"So, who's the DM?" You ask as you walk alongside Dustin and Mike.

"It's Eddie, Eddie Munson. He's a senior. Long hair, wears a hellfire T-Shirt, I talk about him constantly. God, do you ever listen to me?" Dustin claims exasperatedly.

"Oh! Eddie as in your new favorite older male best friend who Steve's weirdly jealous of?" You ask, "I've seen him around. Is he the one who jumps on lunch tables and yells a lot?"

"Yup." Mike responded, "He's a bit scary when he's revved up. Just warning you beforehand in case he comes off...a bit intimidating."

You nod.

"Hasn't he been held back, like, three times?" You ask.

Before either of the boys could answer, you reach the room. The first thing you see is the table where the game is set. There are three boys sat around, all with Hellfire T-Shirts on. Your eyes fleet from one to the other until finally landing on Eddie. You recognise him immediately from the amount of times you've seen him yelling in the cafeteria.

Dustin and Mike failed to mention how cute he was, you think.

His hair was long and wavy. He was wearing multiple rings. And he was covered in tattoos. You're pretty sure you saw a few bats peeking from under his sleeve.

"Who's this?" One of the guys asks, making all three turn around and look at you.

"This is Y/N! She's subbing for Lucas!" Mike says, the words spilling out fast and nervously.

Why the hell are they so jittery?

"Yeah, she's my sister! The one I mentioned a couple days ago." Dustin adds.

"Does she even know how to play DnD?" The other boy asks.

"Okay, excuse me, I wouldn't have come if I didn't know how to play," You finally speak, waving your hand a little to get their attention.

"So, this is your infamous sister?" Eddie finally speaks, his eyes landing on you, "You know, I thought he made you up. What's your class and level? Level One Elf?"

Elf? Is he mocking me?

"Are you mocking me?" You ask incredously.

"Is he mocking me?" you turn towards Dustin and Mike who immediately start gesticulating, probably asking you to shut up.

"My name is Aeren Sirenfall and I'm a level 14 chaotic good half-elf rogue. I will sneak behind any monster you throw my way and stab them in the back with my poison-soaked kukri. And I'll smile as I watch them die a slow...agonising...death." You say, your voice slow and hard as you glare at Eddie, "So, are we gonna play this stupid game or not?"

You're pretty sure you hear one of the boys mutter a 'she's terrifying' to Dustin.

You watch as Eddie's eyes slowly soften and a grin emerges on his face, "Welcome to Hellfire Club."

[space-invading-pigeon]

Everyone jokes about Steve being the babysitter or the mom friend, but no one actually appreciates everything he does until he gets sick. Steve is the epitome of a doting parent; sure, he's only twenty and the seven kids he's adopted aren't actually his in any legal way, but those kids are his pride and fucking joy. Anyone who sees Steve with those kids can tell that he loves them deeply, which is why Steve is the only person in the Party that can convince their parents to allow anything- their parents KNOW that their kids will not only be well looked after, but they'll be genuinely enjoying themselves too.

Because he's a single mom except he's actually just barely out of his teenage years with no kids, he gets a lot of shit from everyone about it; he's known almost exclusively to the Party as Mama Steve (when he isn't in earshot of course). That's all fine by Steve, he always wanted a big family and now he has it. The problems start to appear when the Party realizes that Steve Harrington flat out ignores his own needs until they're so pressing that he's physically unable to do anything.

It all starts when Robin is told by Keith, of all people, that Steve has called in sick. Robin, of course, panics and calls him, and when he doesn't answer she calls Eddie to check on him. He and Steve had gotten closer since spring break, so it wasn't unusual for a member of the party to call either Eddie or Steve to check in on the other.

Eddie checks in to find Steve Harrington, badass warrior prince incarnate, sobbing from a blanket mountain on the couch in his living room. No one has ever actually seen Steve cry before, so Eddie freaks out, but it's just the result of a high fever and watching Old Yeller by himself. After calming the sick man, Eddie managed to coax some medicine into him and call Family Video to let Robin know that, yes, Steve is alive and no, he wasn't going to die of fever, but he only manages to get Steve to sleep by reading to him (Eddie finds it disgustingly adorable, even more so later when Nancy mentions that Steve loves stories but struggles with what he calls "moving letters"). And for the next two weeks, Steve is down for the count. Joyce and Claudia Henderson take turns making sure Steve is alright (Joyce because Steve is one of Her Kids, and Claudia because Steve is the Older Son she never had) while Eddie, Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin all try to take his place.

By the end of the first day, Nancy calls it quits: Mike is a bullheaded terror who only ever seems to like Will, El, or Eddie, and even then he doesn't always listen to them, so the Wheeler siblings fight even more ferociously than usual. She can't get El or Erica to listen, either; Erica is a force to be reckoned with, and El will only nod passively before doing what she wants anyway. By the end of day three, Jonathan is out. He won't say what happened, but he told Max to be nicer to the Party one time and, ten minutes later, he was tearfully saying that the kids were little monsters.

Robin lasts longer, almost an entire week, by chattering at the kids until they give up and listen to her. She meets her match when Dustin and Erica try to commandeer the Family Video computer again: Dusting sneaks past and almost breaks the computer just trying to get to it while Erica does Erica and argues until Robin the Rambler runs out of words. The morning of day seven is very dark for her.

Eddie, through what he believes to be the universe's acknowledgement of the depth of his affection for Steve and also sheer force of will, lasts the whole two weeks, but just barely. Mike argues over everything, no matter what; Will is skittish at the best of times and disappears constantly (thankfully, not like his Upside Down episodes - the boy just can't stop getting distracted and wandering away from the group), only to reappear directly behind Eddie and scaring him into an early grave; Lucas gets frustrated easily and can never seem to find the right words to communicate his thoughts and feelings, so he snarks and lashes out before awkwardly trying to mend the situation; Erica is so completely herself that it can be dizzying when the full force of that hurricane is directed towards Eddie; Dustin practically follows Eddie around like a little duckling, demanding updates on Steve or ranting about one of his many interests; El spends most of her time with the Party learning about how girls her age act through Max or practicing her braiding on Eddie. The worst of them all, though, is Max. Despite having healed up, she's still in physical therapy to rebuild her muscle strength and dexterity, and her eyesight is bad enough now that there's talk of her getting a service animal. It isn't that she needs a little extra attention that makes her the worst, though: it's that somehow, she still chases the most mischief. Eddie has only narrowly managed to keep her from assaulting no less that nine people in the two weeks that Steve is sick, and he knows she's definitely tried to commit arson at least twice that often.

Finally, after two weeks, Steve feels better enough to return to his usual activity, and Eddie begs him to never get sick again.

[metalhoops]

Dating Steve came with a lot of unexpected twists. The first and most glaringly obvious was that Eddie never expected the two to date in the first place. He’d  relegated the idea of ‘dating Steve Harrington’ squarely in the realm of fantasy, along with evil wizards and hell dimensions. So what did Eddie know? It’d been a strange year.  

Steve was a morning person, much to Eddie’s dismay. The downside of sleeping beside a morning person, and being hypervigilant about their every move, was that it forced you to become a morning person. Eddie blamed the aforementioned evil wizard and hell dimension

Before Steve, Eddie would be lucky to roll out of bed before noon. Yet now he begrudgingly found himself up with the sun. At first, he’d tried to roll back into bed when Steve left for his morning jog, but he was finding it harder and harder to get back to sleep. He’d worry about Steve, sue the guy. The town was cracked in two and they were all waiting with bated breath for Vecna to return. So he’d sit on the front stoop of the trailer with a mug of coffee in his hand and his blanket around his shoulders, waiting to see Steve’s familiar figure materialise at the end of the trailer park’s gravel drive. 

Another unexpected twist about dating Steve was how much the guy genuinely cared about the stuff Eddie was into. He’d started sitting in on Hellfire and Eddie’s band rehearsals. Eddie would sit up late at night creating new NPCs for their campaign and Steve would watch curiously or surprise Eddie by sliding over and skimming over his notes. 

“Make the shopkeeper guy a goblin,” Steve remarked and Eddie would snort. 

“You only say that because you like it when I do the goblin voice.” 

“Yeah, because it’s funny and none of the kids are going to want to flirt with a goblin.” Steve was still horrified and emotionally scarred from the time he’d watched Mike Wheeler try to seduce the elven barkeeper during the last session. 

“Are you saying you wouldn’t flirt with a goblin, Harrington?” Eddie teased putting on the silly and grating tone, Steve had affectionately named Eddie’s ‘goblin voice’.  He leaned over into Steve’s space, placing an overdramatised and sloppy kiss on Steve’s cheek.

He snorted and shoved Eddie’s shoulder gently. 

“Don’t push your luck, Munson. I love you, but not that much.” 

And of course, Steve had been the first one to say ‘I love you,’ because Eddie had always been a coward. Of course, Steve said it at least once a day, and of course, Eddie still hadn’t gotten the courage to say it back, because he kept waiting for the day when he woke up and realised that his whole relationship with Steve had been an elaborate dream. 

Eddie didn’t know exactly what made him decide to start joining Steve on his morning jogs. Ask anyone and they would tell you Eddie Munson was not a jogger. Steve talked about his morning runs like they were a meditative experience, all cool breeze, still streets and dopamine. 

Eddie went for a jog and felt like his lungs were twin stars on the brink of collapse. To him, running was akin to the slow heat-death of the universe, but he did it because he was sick of sitting on the damn stoop waiting for Steve to come home because he loved him and he sure as shit didn’t know how to say it. 

The next surprise came early one morning in late October, when he and Steve climbed out of bed without needing an alarm and Eddie found the cool breeze on his cheeks and the familiar beat of Steve’s steps in time with his comforting. That morning, he realised he didn’t hate running, not when it was with Steve. The revelation shook something free in Eddie’s skull, something he’d been grappling with for months. 

When the two arrived home, skin sticky with cold sweat, Eddie made them coffee. They sat together in front of the trailer watching the sun turn the same blood red as the Upside Down sky. Eddie thought he’d be okay with starting every morning like that, so long as Steve was there. 

“You know, Stevie,” Eddie breathed, unable to look at Steve when he said what he needed to say. He was brave, but not that brave. 

“I think I love you too,” Eddie whispered.  

“You think?” Steve chuckled at his side. He turned to face Steve and saw the man hiding a wide grin behind his mug. Eddie rolled his eyes and nudged his shoulder against Steve’s.

“Alright, fine. You win. I know. I love you.” 

Eddie had to fight to get the words out, but the second he did, he felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders because he knew it was true. It’d been the first time he said it to anyone. He’d never gotten that far with another relationship. He and Steve were in uncharted waters. 

Steve set down his cup, practically tackling Eddie to the dirt with the force of his hug, all hope for not making a big deal out of the confession blown out the window. Of course, Steve was a hopeless romantic. 

The only thing that stopped the two from making out on their front lawn was the fact that Hawkins was the antithesis of progressive. Well, that and a sleep-deprived Max who stomped out of her trailer to throw a balled-up pair of socks squarely at Steve’s head as she grumbled about the hour of the morning. 

[sidekick-hero]

My heart's desire: you

(steddie | 1.7k | mature | written for @steddie-week day 3: holding me by Warlock | AO3)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Season/Series 04, Eddie Munson as Kas the Betrayer (Dungeons & Dragons), Monster Eddie Munson, Protective Eddie Munson, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eddie Munson Needs a Hug

Eddie never expected much from life, if he was honest.

Sure, once upon a time he had dreams. Big ones. Go to LA, become a rock star, leave this shithole of a town behind. Find his people, a place where he belonged. Not a freak, but someone worthy.

Deep down he didn't really believe they would come true - not for people like him - but it was nice to have them. They helped him fall asleep at night and even more to get up in the morning.

All those dreams bit the dust when he did. The dead don't dream, right?

Right.

It's just that he's not exactly dead. But he's not alive either. So what does that mean for his dreams?

He doesn't sleep anymore. Doesn't need to. Sometimes he manages to drift, his body completely still while his mind is somewhere else.

But when that happens, he's not dreaming. He just remembers.

Remembers his mama and how she used to dance around the house with him to Elvis or Roy Orbison. Blue Bayou was her favorite.

Remembers his father's pale face as he left Eddie behind, running from the law while Eddie stayed behind to take the fall, just because he couldn't let a cop bleed to death because of his father's schemes.

Remembers Wayne, his gruff voice and warm hugs. His unconditional love and unwavering support. The one person who always believed in him, who gave him a home and a family when Eddie had nothing.

Remembers practicing his songs with the boys and endless afternoons filled with music and campaigns and laughter. His own little corner of the world where he was free to be himself, loud and unapologetic.

Remembers Dustin and Mike and Lucas and Erica. Red and Buckley and Wheeler. Their fierce determination, their selflessness, their love for one another. He had been helpless but to join them, even when everything inside him screamed to run, to hide, to never look back.

Most of the time, though, he remembers Steve. Which should be weird, since they only spent a week together, him running from an angry mob, Steve helping him while also trying to save the world. Sure, he remembers the looks they shared, the touches, the pet names, and the flirting. But it was stolen time, stolen moments without real substance - the reckless abundance of someone who never expected to make it out alive.

He didn't. And yet here he stands, hidden among the trees surrounding the Harrington estate, watching Steve through the windows of his kitchen as he makes himself a sandwich.

It's not the first night he's spent like this, and it won't be the last.

Ever since he clawed his way out of the Upside Down, he's been watching over them. His friends, he thinks. They had been his friends. When he was still human. Can you still have friends when you're not alive, or are they like dreams, out of reach when your skin grows cold and your lungs stop breathing?

He doesn't know. All he knows is that when he came back different, wrong, he still had his memories. He remembers the love and affection he once had for them. That's why he watches over them, he tells himself. Because he had loved them once.

A few months ago, when the portals to the Upside Down were wide open, everyone had gathered here at Steve's, so Eddie had been there, too. Not inside the house, of course, but watching. Guarding it.

Not being alive makes him almost invincible. He has claws on his hands and fangs in his mouth. He's faster and stronger than ever. Any monster that tried to sneak up on them was killed in seconds, a few minutes at most. Soon they didn't even try anymore.

It's as if they somehow know that Eddie is the strongest predator around, and that these humans are his.

They defeated Vecna in the end, closing the gates once and for all.

And Eddie is still here. Still not alive.

Still watching over Steve, with the full moon above him and the warm late summer wind blowing through his hair. The clouds covering the moon provide enough cover for him to come closer, still hidden in the darkness as he continues to watch.

Time feels strange sometimes, but he thinks he has been watching Steve for as long as he can remember.

A lonely boy with strawberry blond hair, waiting to be picked up from preschool long after everyone else has left. A gangly teenager on his first day of middle school, looking lost and alone again. The same boy, taller now, finally filling out his form, sun-kissed skin and windswept hair. Popular, attractive, but still lonely deep inside.

The Eddie he had once been had been intrigued by Steve Harrington. The boy had been an enigma, even more so when Dustin and Lucas, and sometimes even Mike, sang his praises as if he were their greatest hero. And then he had seen again and again how badass Steve was, how brave and self-sacrificing. How much he was willing to give for the people he considered his own.

Back when his heart was still beating, it had been beating for Steve. Can you still love someone when your heart is no longer beating?

Eddie doesn't have an answer to that question. All he knows is that the sight of Steve brings a warmth he can almost feel, a flicker of something that might have been hope if he still had the capacity for it. And for now, that flicker is enough to keep him watching, night after night, hidden in the shadows.

Tonight, however, something feels different. Eddie watches as Steve steps out of the kitchen, his eyes scanning the darkness, almost as if he senses a presence. Eddie tenses, ready to retreat further into the shadows, but something holds him back.

Steve takes a few hesitant steps towards the edge of the property, his gaze unwavering. "I know you're out there," he calls softly, his voice carrying a blend of fear and determination. "I don't know who or what you are, but I know you're watching."

Eddie's breath catches—or it would have, if he still breathed. He remains still, his eyes fixed on Steve, who continues to inch closer. The moonlight breaks through the clouds, casting a silver glow over the yard, and Steve's eyes widen as they meet Eddie's.

"Eddie?" Steve whispers, disbelief and something else, something Eddie can’t place, coloring his tone. "Is that really you?"

For a moment, Eddie considers fleeing. Every fiber of his being screams at him to retreat into the safety of the shadows. To hide his monstrous self. But the look in Steve's eyes, the raw mixture of hope and sorrow, roots him to the spot. He steps forward, emerging from the shadows, his form illuminated by the moonlight. "Hello, Steve," he replies, his voice rough from disuse. "I'm... different now, so you be the judge if it's still me."

Steve stares, taking in Eddie's altered appearance—the fangs, the claws, the otherworldly aura. Yet, despite the changes, there's something unmistakably Eddie in his eyes. "How?" Steve asks, his voice breaking. "How is this possible?"

Eddie shakes his head. "I don't know. I woke up in the Upside Down after you all left, not alive but not dead either and clawed my way outta there. I've been watching over you, all of you, ever since."

Steve takes another step closer, his hand reaching out tentatively. "But… Why didn't you come to us? We thought you were gone. I - We missed you. Dustin -"

"I didn't know if you'd accept me like this," Eddie admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not the same person I was. I’m a monster now."

Steve's hand finally makes contact with Eddie's arm, and the touch sends a jolt through both of them. Eddie's skin, cold and unfeeling for so long, seems to come alive under Steve's touch. The sensation is overwhelming, flooding him with emotions he thought he'd lost. "You're still Eddie," Steve says firmly. "And that's all that matters."

For the first time since his transformation, Eddie feels something akin to hope. Maybe, just maybe, he can find a new place in this world, even in his altered state. And maybe, just maybe, he doesn't have to watch from the shadows anymore.

As they stand there, bathed in moonlight and the warmth of newfound connection, Eddie allows himself to believe that he can still be part of something, that he can still matter. And for the first time in a long time, he feels a glimmer of peace.

But more than peace, he feels a longing, a deep-seated yearning that he can no longer ignore. The way Steve looks at him, with such trust and acceptance, stirs something inside Eddie that he thought was long dead. He realizes that he's not just watching over Steve out of a sense of duty or lost affection; he's watching because he still loves him, with a love that doesn’t need a beating heart to stay alive.

"Eddie," Steve whispers again, his voice softer now, filled with an emotion that Eddie can't quite name but feels deep in his bones. "Stay with me. Don't disappear again."

Eddie's heart, or whatever remains of it, aches at Steve's words. He wants nothing more than to stay, to be close to Steve, to feel that warmth he's been yearning for. He’s been so cold for so long. "I'll stay," Eddie promises, his voice trembling with emotion. "For as long as you'll have me."

Steve's eyes shine with unshed tears as he pulls Eddie into a hug, their bodies fitting together as if they were always meant to. In that embrace, Eddie feels more alive than he has since he died.

And so, under the silver light of the moon, Eddie and Steve stand together, holding onto each other with a love that defies the boundaries of life and death. For the first time, Eddie dares to believe in a future where he doesn't have to hide in the shadows, where he can be with the person he loves, and where he can finally find a place to belong.

As long as Steve is willing to hold him like that, he doesn't need to be alive. All he needs is to be here in Steve’s arms.

[steddio]

Eddie has done a lot of stupid things in his life but kissing Steve Harrington on the mouth in a room full of people might just take the cake. And he’s including that time he blurted out the wrong name when his fifth grade teacher asked him to introduce himself. He’d been… caught up in the moment. Or something. The New Years countdown had gotten to 0 and Steve was right fucking there, beaming at Eddie, looking unbelievably thrilled that they’d made it to 1987 in one piece. And Eddie had just. Kissed him. Grabbed Steve’s precious smiling face between both hands and planted one on him.

He hadn’t even processed what he was doing until he heard Henderson screech, “Holy shit!” and then the world slowed down as he took in Steve’s grin frozen into shock and way too many eyes staring right at him.

And then he did what he was best at. He ran.

Sprinted out of the Wheelers’ basement, hurled himself into the driver’s seat of his van, turned the keys in the ignition, and then promptly turned the engine back off because he’d had one too many beers to safely make it back to the trailer park.

He smacked his head on the steering wheel in frustration only to startle himself when his horn blared, announcing to the entire cul de sac that Eddie Munson is a bona fide loser. Happy fucking new year to him.

—

Eddie Munson had kissed him. And not a friendly peck but a full-on kiss. Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at how much he’d fucked up the moment he’d been waiting months for. It had happened so fast, he’d barely had time to process a warm mouth against his before Henderson (the little shit) had spooked Eddie like the baby deer he often resembled.

He wants to bask in the glow as long as possible, hand raising to feel the ghost of an imprint on his mouth, before the slam of a screen door startles him out of his daze and he takes in the scene before him.

Dustin is gaping like a fish, repeating “holy shit” under his breath. Lucas and Max are waggling their eyebrows suggestively while Mike looks like he’s going to hurl and keeps glancing sidelong at Will, who just looks thoughtful and altogether too calm. Robin is full on cackling and Steve levels her and the kids with his ultimate babysitter glare, one hand on a cocked hip. This only serves to make Robin laugh harder.

“Dude!” Steve honestly doesn’t know who that’s directed at but the sentiment is universal. “What the fuck, man!” That is definitely directed at Henderson. Cockblocking little shit. Dustin is sputtering and Robin seems to be fighting for breath but it’s Nancy who, like always, takes charge.

“Well go after him, Steve,” she says exasperatedly, making a shooing motion with both hands. And Steve doesn’t hesitate.

—

Eddie is sitting in dejected silence, head bowed, fighting back tears. His stupid brain won’t stop replaying the whole unfortunate incident in slow motion, hyper-analyzing every micro expression on Steve’s face. His wide eyes with their impossibly long lashes, his slightly-parted lips. The way he’d frozen instead of kissing Eddie back.

Eddie is startled by a tapping on his window and comes face to face with Steve, who looks as flustered as Eddie feels. His hair is askew like he’s been running his hands through it and he’s panting a little. But there’s an unmistakeable smile on his face as he mimics rolling down the window. Eddie does it for real, and Steve is suddenly in his space, leaning into the van.

“Hi,” Steve says softly.

“Hi,” Eddie breathes back. Steve is blushing but doesn’t seem shy. Instead, he’s looking directly at Eddie, determined.

“I wasn’t ready. Back there. Can we try again?”

And suddenly Steve is kissing him, his hands coming up to gently cradle Eddie’s face. Eddie can’t help but deepen the kiss, pulling Steve closer, burying his hands in his hair. The angle is awkward, and there’s too much space between them, their bodies separated by the car door. But it doesn’t matter because Steve is kissing him back. And as they break apart for air, Eddie thinks that 1987 might finally be his year.

[dysfunctionalupsidedown]

An Analysis Of "STurn": My Turn

Hello, everyone! This is my first real post/analysis of anything Stranger Things related, so please keep that in mind while reading. I'm sure there are quite a few analyses about this playlist already (I'm definitely late to the party,) but I still wanted to add my two cents.

Feel free to let me know if any information I've provided is incorrect. My main source is Genius.com, which isn't at all the most reliable; even still, it'll help to give a clearer picture of each track's meaning and how the general public (which includes Finn) interprets them. I'm attempting to go by what I think Finn's intentions were.

Also, don't forget that this analysis was done under the assumption that the "STurn" playlist is a somewhat play-by-play outline of how specifically Mike Wheeler's S5 arcs might happen. The playlist could be entirely unrelated to ST5. It could be related to all the characters and arcs in ST5. It could be out of order, or based on vibes -- We really have no way of knowing until the full season comes out.

Finally, I tried my best to keep the analysis somewhat objective and reasonable, and I hope I've at least partly succeeded. This is all in good fun, in the end. Now that I've finished housekeeping, please enjoy my thoughts and feel free to chime in with your ideas in the comments! I'm always open to changing my perspective.

1. Ballad of the Texas King

Let's begin! This song starts with the lyrics, "No one saw / Nothing at all, no law was there to fight / All dressed down / Walkin' out in the California night". I believe this is a more surface-level vibe-setting song, considering where Mike ended in S4. It may also imply that the start of S5 begins where S4 left off. A lot of car imagery is also present throughout, which was a big part of Mike's S4 journey.

There are ideas of being separated as well, with lyrics like "My heart won't beat / 'Til we meet again together". This may allude to Mike's feelings towards the end of S4, having been separated from Hawkins/his family.

2. What You're Doing - Remastered 2009

Genius.com claims this song was written about Paul McCartney's then-rocky relationship at the time. The lyrics make this very clear, so there's really no alternate angle from which I can read. Let me know in the comments if you interpreted it differently.

In specific, the lyrics "You got me running / And there's no fun in it / Why should it be so much to ask of you / What you're doing to me?", "Please stop your lying / You got me crying, girl", and "I've been waiting here for you / Wondering what you're gonna do / And should you need a love that's true / It's me" really intrigue me. This could refer to Mike's relationship.

The song suggests that the partner may be withdrawing in multiple ways, with the singer grieving over it and attempting to prove their love. El may be starting to distance herself, and Mike could be struggling with it. At the end of S4, El was understandably focused on her failure, to the point where she hadn't really spoken to Mike in the days following it.

I don't think it would be surprising if everything was too much and she ends up pushing herself away from him. I wouldn't say it's implying a break-up, but maybe distancing issues.

3. After The Earthquake

Again, it's pretty surface-level in the beginning. There was a devastating earthquake in-universe, which supports the theory that "STurn" connects to ST5 in some way. The song tells a story, though, and I recommend looking up it's inspiration.

Despite the choice seeming surface-level at first, After The Earthquake may be implying more for Mike in ST5. Genius.com's contributors interpret the song's narrative as, "[Molly Rankin applying the] concept of post-catastrophe clarity to a couple that got into a major disagreement before one of them falls into a coma from a car crash... In a metaphorical sense, [the song] could describe a more mild situation in which Rankin must put their conflict on hold because something more important turns up." I don't think it's too far-fetched to say that Finn picked up on this. The idea of a disagreeing couple and coma is also prevalent in ST, but like I said in the beginning, I'm going to try to connect these songs to Mike Wheeler specifically.

Although this may be me reading too deeply into it, the metaphorical meaning of the track pairs pretty well with the implications of What You're Doing. It also fits in well narratively, considering that more important things are happening aside from the drama -- the earthquake being one of them. Mike could be putting all of his current issues (internal-conflict-related, relationship, or otherwise) on hold for the moment. He continues to struggle with suppressing his problems later on in the playlist, as well.

4. Promises I've Made

This song is about mourning a lost or ex-lover. The opening lyrics, "Ever since you have gone, the days don't seem so bright / And I wish I could forget you but I can't / Ever since you have gone, I haven't felt quite right / And I promised I'd forget all that you meant" address this quite directly.

At this point, it's possible that Mike has either been broken up with or the pair have gone their separate ways for some reason. It wouldn't be too crazy to say something like that will occur and he'll grieve it, keeping in mind that one of Mike's main fears is losing El. I just don't know why they'd continue to make it the subject of conflict in S5 (unless it hasn't been fully resolved yet.)

Physical distance between the two also makes sense when considering that Mike is, supposedly, teaming up with other characters next season. Personally, I'm leaning slightly more towards a break-up because of what the previous songs have set up, but, ultimately, it's up to interpretation. It's possible they've just been physically distanced while in a bad spot.

5. Angst In My Pants

This song is about a person attempting to be someone they're not, suppressing who they really are, and it ultimately leading to dissatisfaction. The lyrics, "You can dress nautical / Learn to tie knots / Take lots of Dramamine / Out on your yacht" describe a faux lifestyle one lives that only serves to hurt them in the end: The idea of putting on a self-harming persona. This could be what Mike is going through in S5, and his teased wardrobe change from S4 supports this.

The lyrics, "I hope it doesn't show / It'll go away / It's just a passing phase / It'll go away" and, "I hope it doesn't show / It'll go 'way / Give it a hundred years / It won't go 'way" are particularly fascinating and can have multiple interpretations.

For one, it could be Mike trying to hide his real personality following Eddie's death and the collective panic by acting out a more "normal" and "idealized" life -- painfully repressing his true self in the process. This is supported by the lyrics I first discussed. Hiding and embracing differences is a theme in Stranger Things, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is where they take Mike in S5.

Another interpretation involves the previous lyrics, as well as, "But when you think you made it disappear / It comes again, 'Hello, I'm here'". This sounds more like someone trying and failing to suppress a thought. Coupled with "It's just a passing phase", it appears to be a feeling or belief instead of someone's true personality, although I do believe that's a big part of it, too.

Whatever it may be, Mike is definitely struggling with something at this point. He's pushing it down, hiding it, and hoping "..it doesn't show" and that "It'll go away".

6. The Better Side - Audiotree Live Version

Half way through! This one gave me more of a challenge because there aren't any written lyrics to analyze. From what I can gather, the track is about a person yearning for someone who is a better fit(?) The lyrics that best support this interpretation are, "You're on the better side / You're always the better one for me" and "Don't make me do the falling when I'm drinking of you". Again, if you have any alternate interpretations, please let me know. I'd like to take all ideas into account.

The final lyrics are interesting, "And you're all that I need / I'm not gonna miss you anymore". This can be read as the narrator longing to accept a person into their life and bring them closer. I'm especially interested in the final line because it implies there was something to miss, as if an emotional rift or gap was there.

Mike has come to a realization about something, as shown in Angst In My Pants, and it might partly be about a new thought he's trying to push down, "It'll go away". It's possible the "thought" is about newly developing feelings he isn't ready to accept(?) I don't want to say for certain, though. Nonetheless, it seems like he recognizes this person's importance and "better fit" for him, despite trying to repress it. A fairly surface-level read, but it's the only conclusion I'm able to come to.

Alternatively, it might be about El. The distance apart could be what gets him to solidify how he feels about her. However, Angst In My Pants and multiple songs establishing a separation precede The Better Side. The track is about a better option, as well. Those facts alone make me think of this interpretation as unlikely, so it's not one I personally hold.

7. Don't Ask Me to Explain

Don't Ask Me to Explain is about two people who are afraid to confess their true feelings to one another, so instead they hide them; with one of the two seemingly more uncertain. It's also, from what I've researched, supposedly about two people of the same gender. There's a possibility that this is irrelevant to the track's purpose in the playlist, but I kept it in mind considering the other songs and my personal interpretation. It's also important to note that these "true feelings" could be about a multitude of things.

The lyrics, "How will I ever know you enough to love you / If you're hiding who you are?", "How am I supposed to let it show / When I don't even know?", and, "Besides, I don't want to be the one who's coming out first / I'd really like to but I'm just too shy" support this reading.

I interpreted the last line, "It's so easy to laugh to myself / And pretend that I could love you but I can't" in two different ways. Either it's the narrator doubting their feelings for someone else, or it's the narrator recognizing that they can't let themselves embrace their love for someone, for one reason or another.

As for Mike, his progression makes the most sense to me in the following interpretation. There are multiple and, again, please let me know your ideas in the comments. I narrowed it down to just the one so I don't start nit-picking.

Mike went from a realization, "It's just a passing phase / It'll go away" (Angst In My Pants) to a sort of acceptance, "You're always the better one for me" (The Better Side) to struggling to admit it out loud, "How am I supposed to let it show / When I don't even know?"

An LGBTQ+ or "new love interest" interpretation is what I'm able to gather from this. It could describe Mike falling for 'someone' and not knowing how to be open about it due to fear and doubt; with the other person feeling the same way. It may be a surface-level reading, and I'm sure there are several other ways to interpret the track, but that's what I've been able to conclude thus far.

8. What Do You Want Me To Do?

This one might be the most difficult for me to figure out, but I'm going to try.

The song and the lyrics, "You walked out, took your chance / You turned your back on our romance / You said you found somebody new / You said the change'd do you good" and "You never even gave me a thought / You figured that would be all right / I nevеr had a chance to persuade you / You nеver let me put up a fight" remind me a lot of What You're Doing.

One way to look at it is that it might have the same purpose as What You're Doing -- adding a sort of angsty frustration vibe. I don't know if it would be used to set up a "come crawling back" moment because I don't think that would make sense (especially in Stranger Things), but it's a random possibility I'm throwing out there.

Alternatively, the 'person' that Mike has feelings for could have rejected him for someone else(?) Again, I don't think this would make much narrative sense in Stranger Things, but we don't know what the next season's going to look like.

I'm personally reading it as the former because there are other songs in the playlist used to set the tone. Keeping What You're Doing and Promises I've Made in mind, an additional break-up song is on theme. There's still the possibility of another conflict, though. If anyone else has different thoughts on what the song could be implying, I'd appreciate the input.

9. Substitute - Live

This track is about an idealized version of someone being put in place of their true self. The narrator describes a scenario in which their partner sees a version of them, "I'm a substitute for another guy / I look pretty tall but my heels are high / The simple things you see are all complicated / I look bloody young, but I'm just back-dated, yeah", that is unrealistic and put on, as seen in the lyrics "Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac / I look all white, but my dad was black / My fine-looking suit is really made out of sack" The couple also seem to be having issues with this, or in general, that they're not addressing, "It's a genuine problem, you won't try / To work it out at all, just pass it by, pass it by"

The concept of a guise applies well to Mike, as referenced in Angst In My Pants. A recurring theme of hiding oneself really makes me think Mike is going to completely abandon his interests for a different lifestyle. I believe Finn has also mentioned that Mike wants to be as "normal" as possible, so I can't wait to see where they take that idea. It could also be him realizing how he's been acting, and admitting that this "romanticized" version isn't true to him. I have hope that Mike will eventually learn to embrace his differences and what he enjoys.

While this part is a bit nit-picky, I feel it's fun to mention that the song was inspired by a lyric in The Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson; the lyric being, "Although she may be cute / She's just a substitute". The line following this (which is also referenced in Substitute's Genius.com entry) is, "Because you're the permanent one". Funnily enough, these lyrics also fit into the narrative the playlist is laying out. They remind me a lot of what The Better Side represents.

Out of context, the lines from The Tracks of My Tears may imply that someone is either using another person as a substitute for an ex, or that someone is realizing they've been using their previous partner as a substitute for someone better. Both routes have the potential to happen in ST5. Although, I don't know if the idea of a literal substitute fits with what The Who was going for. The Tracks of My Tears is also not on "STurn", so take this part as a fun fact with a grain of salt on the side.

At the end of the day, we don't know Finn's motivation for adding Substitute, so this is what we'll have to go off of for now. I feel as though the former interpretation, a less literal "substitute," holds the most merit considering the theme of personas.

10. The Rebel Kind

Like The Better Side, I couldn't find any lyrics, so I'm doing it by ear. Though, I'm happy to say that this song is about a desire to embrace differences and rebellion. "We'll be free to run with the rebel kind" and "It's not easy, but I don't mind / I just want to run with the rebel kind" establish that. The track appears to tie into Mike's insecurity struggles throughout the playlist.

The lyric "They call us the rebel kind" hints to the panic brewing at the end of S4. Mike might start to embrace and stand behind his true self at whatever point this is in the season. The line following, "But they don't understand / The things a man must do to prove that he's a man", can be taken in different ways depending on how the lyrics are read.

It could be the narrator's struggle to keep up with societal norms before finally giving in to their truth instead of trying to conform, read as "they call us rebels but don't get how hard it is to for us to keep up." On the other hand, it could be the narrator commenting on how society doesn't understand people like them, and, by embracing their true self, it proves more about who they are than conforming ever would; read as, "you think we're the rebellious ones, but you don't understand that we're more self-secure and strong than you'll ever be."

I can see both of these interpretations working for Mike and his connection to the Party. The progression of insecurity in Angst In My Pants and potential realization of this guise in Substitute is wrapped up by Mike's self-acceptance here. I really hope this is how it plays out in S5.

11. Block Rockin' Beats

There's not much to analyze because this track has one repeated line of lyrics, but it's definitely here to set a tone. The song may have a similar vibe-setting purpose as What Do You Want Me To Do? and Ballad of the Texas King. That's just my theory, though. (A ST5 theoryyy!)

Perhaps this is a climax of sorts where the cast fight the "big bad." The music's tone is intense and sort of aggressive. It's definitely a fun addition to the playlist, whatever the song's purpose in it may be.

12. Just What I Needed

Finally, we have Just What I Needed. I read this song in two different ways.

The first way I interpreted it was as a love song about the narrator not caring about who this person is, and realizing they need them in spite of it all. The lyrics, "It's not the perfume that you wear / It's not the ribbons in your hair / And I don't mind you comin' here / And wastin' all my time", "Cause when you're standin' oh so near / I kinda lose my mind, yeah", and "I needed someone to bleed / Yeah, yeah, so bleed me" support this.

The second possible reading is that the narrator realizes they were/are in a codependent relationship and they still love the person. The lyrics, "I guess you're just what I needed / I needed someone to feed / I guess you're just what I needed / I needed someone to bleed" and "I don't mind you hangin' out / And talkin' in your sleep / It doesn't matter where you've been / As long as it was deep, yeah", could be read as more of a "you're what I needed at the time, but I still love you and want you in my life." With this reading, it's unclear whether or not the love is romantic or platonic. Maybe I'm looking too far into it, but this is what some Genius.com contributors brought up, and it would feel wrong to not include this understanding of the song.

I'm just assuming, since The Rebel Kind seemed to tie up Mike's self-security problem, that this track is supposed to imply a resolution with his romantic issues. Under that impression, there are a few ways we can look at it.

It could be an acceptance for who he has feelings for. He went from mourning a loss in Promises I've Made, noticing something and hoping it goes away in Angst In My Pants, potentially coming to terms with the fact that this person is his "better" choice in The Better Side, wanting to admit a truth but feeling doubtful in Don't Ask Me to Explain, comprehending that he's able to embrace his authentic self in The Rebel Kind, to now admitting, possibly out loud, that this person was "just what [he] needed". That could be far-fetched, but it's just what I picked up on throughout the playlist.

However, it may also pertain to his self-identity struggle that's hinted at throughout (can you tell that I love this part of Mike?) while also tying into his romance issues. He went through a difficult separation with someone in What You're Doing and Promises I've Made, put on a persona and suppressed his true self in Angst In My Pants, realized he couldn't keep it going and needed to address it in Substitute, embraced himself in The Rebel Kind, and now recognizes that the relationship may have been codependent and holding him back from fully dropping the facade: "I guess you're just what I needed" -- in the moment. I don't know if that's too in-depth of a read, but it's a possibility.

While not relevant to the playlist in it's context, it's fun to bring up the fact that Just What I Needed was apparently also the final track listed on the 'official' "Will's Castle Byers Classics" playlist created by Spotify. It's not available anymore, so I can't really say it as a fact. Although, recreations of the playlist have been made long before "STurn" was a thing, and the song was added as the last track as far back as 2018. I suppose that's proof enough that it was at least on the playlist.

Finn listing it as the final track may be a reference to "Will's Castle Byers Classics", but it's also likely that there's no association. That's why I gave the song an equal amount of analysis instead of writing it off as a reference. As to how canon those playlists are, I don't think it particularly matters. It's true that Finn could've seen Just What I Needed in the Will playlist and put it on "STurn", thinking of it as a fun easter egg. There could or could not be implications for that and I'd be remiss to ignore it. I don't know if this rings true for any of the other songs on "STurn" as well -- if they're connected to any other character playlists. Feel free to let me know if they are!

TL;DR

This was really hefty post, and I apologize for that, so here's a summary/recap of what I think S5 may have in store for Mike Wheeler.

Summary:

The season likely starts off at the end of S4, with us seeing Mike react to everything that's happened in Hawkins and reuniting with his family. Tension or unresolved conflicts may be arising in his relationship(s) as well, but he puts it aside to focus on the more important tasks at hand. Either his relationship is put aside with this, or there's an eventual separation that occurs, and he mourns it. After, he tries to maintain normalcy and puts on a guise to appease others. During this time, he may start to have a realization about something that he attempts to repress. He eventually comes to terms with it, though, recognizing that there's someone (maybe something?) better for him. He wants to admit to these true feelings, but he'll struggle with hiding, doubting, and fearing them; thinking he can't allow himself to fully love this person or, at least, admit to whatever feelings or "truth" he possesses. Mike will most likely continue to struggle with mixed feelings and hiding his true personality after this, eventually admitting to not being fully authentic. He'll then accept his true self for what it is. This will lead into a climax, where the main conflict of the show will be resolved. Finally, he'll accept and admit his true feelings, realizing that all he needed to do in the end was be entirely honest with (and about) himself.

In Conclusion

I really want this to be where they take Mike in ST5. It would be such a satisfying thing to watch, especially with how he's acted the past two seasons. I think he deserves to have a self-love/acceptance arc because the show has made it clear he's insecure and inauthentic.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know your thoughts and interpretations in the comments, as well as if there's anything you think I should add/fix. I'd love to hear what others have to say about "STurn" and it's connections to ST :)!

[flownwrong]

chaotic ckr c6d squee propaganda (?) post

This, started half a year ago for @ds30below, was initially a general c6d short reviews post but kinda skewed majorly towards CKR's repertoire and wasn't too review-y. So I gave up on making sense and on including the non-CKR works. I don't know who the audience for this is, because I never give basic details for people who don't know about this stuff but say too much for those who do. I giffed what I could and tried to avoid what I know a lot about but haven't actually seen. Here goes.

Frank's Cock (1993)

Not much to say. It's only 8 minutes, it's beautiful and you should see it if you haven't. I won't spoil the subject, but you can likely guess. Watch it, cry a little. Then go watch some more of Mike Hoolboom's stuff, the vimeo link above is from his channel.

Two X-Files episodes (1994 – 1995)

Well, I haven't actually seen X-files since I was about fifteen and watched the like two seasons, and I remember none of it. I rewatched the two early episodes CKR appears in and they were fun. I did not watch the, the movie or whatever where he's doing the evil gay thing. But really, this one is on the list so I can show you this self-indulgent gif of him being Very Long:

Double Happiness (1994)

You shouldn't watch this one for CKR. I mean, you absolutely should see him here, looking like he's barely out of his teens and playing up the insecure act and having devastating chemistry with devastatingly beautiful Sandra Oh, but this is not why it's great. And it's really, really great. It's touching and funny and sincere. If you wanna have some feels about complicated family relationships and identity and growing up (at any point in life), you'll find them here.

Curtis's Charm (1995)

Don't regret watching it, can't recommend. Not gonna lie, I was emotionally affected. But I usually am by things as in-your-face bleak as this. Mostly, it's trying very hard to be smarter than it is, I think.

However: CKR's One Wild Curl is everything to me (see above, on the right. It was, like, actually curly. I was rendered speechless). And like two seconds of Hugh Dillon made me do a double-take, lol. Incredibly weird knowing this was shot like half a year before HCL began shooting. Feels like it must've been a decade earlier.

Hard Core Logo (1996)

I could make three separate posts about this one, so of course I have no idea what to say.

This one, you should watch for CKR, actually, he's something, but so is every single other aspect of this film. I wouldn't change a thing about it. It hits you like a 16 wheeler. Perfectly cast, unimaginably beautiful, hysterical and melancholy and disgusting and compelling.

Related recs:

A wonderfully fun article/retrospective/interview for its 20th anniversary a while back.

You should also absolutely read Hard Core Roadshow if you enjoyed the film. It's a book documenting the whole thing from conception to release. It touched me for its own sake, not just a backstage glance, full of love for the craft and the people and carrying this tangible bittersweetness about the heightened and fleeting nature of this kind of work.

(here, I feel compelled to include a quote from another c6d-related interview on Slings & Arrows, which I read after the book and went like man, it's really a universal experience isn't it.

Coyne: <...> But I also think, and this is my experience, what we were all experiencing, because we were all talking about our lives, our life in the arts — there’s something very melancholy about doing something you love, because it will never be good enough, it will always break your heart.

McKinney: Or it will be fleeting.

Coyne: It’ll be fleeting. You come together with people you feel passionately connected to and two weeks later they’re tearing down the sets.)

Quotes from the article and the book respectively include:

McDonald: So there was a kind of mutual dependency society with Hugh telling Callum, “Don’t worry, man, I got your back, I’ll tell you how high or low to wear your guitar, I’ll tell you how you should dress, I’ll tell you what you should drink…” and Callum was like, “I’ll tell you what hitting your mark is, I’ll tell you why they pull out fucking tape measures, I’ll tell you why you have to do it again, I’ll tell you about not overlapping dialogue..” and you know they clung to each other, like the other one was gonna fucking save them.

And:

A final gathering at the back of the tour bus with Bruce, Callum, Hugh, Bernie. We listen to the tape of HCL songs, all the way through, one last time. And we belt the words out. Bernie sings loudest, performing for Salerno's camera. Hugh and Callum sit back, looks of sadness. I get the sense that if they could do it, they'd chuck their lives and be Joe Dick and Billy Tallent forever. Callum leans to Bruce and says exactly what everyone else is thinking: "I don't want it to end."

There's much more to both texts than *gestures* the whatever those two had, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

And Xeriscape is the best HCL fic I've read. Granted, I read very few because it's not a source that creates in me a craving for fic. But this one perfectly matches the film's fucked up beauty with its language while also adding a quieter, more fraught layer of humanity that we only get glimpses of in canon and that perfectly fits John. 10/10, would recommend.

Anyway. Watch it. Read it. If you haven't. Otherwise, come scream with meeee! And go reblog my gifs or something. Idk.

Letters From Home (1996)

Mike Hoolboom strikes again, with another short. This goes into the "don't watch it for CKR, watch it because it's great" box. Yes, you will cry.

For Those Who Hunt The Wounded Down (1996)

Another bleak one! It sucked to watch, I mean, on purpose. There were a couple of very effective scenes. I really enjoyed the opening. They say the book is decent too, I haven't checked that out.

Actually, let's just switch back from coherent thought to undignified staring at his mouth with this one. What the fuck is that cigarette thing. I couldn't help myself.

Last Night (1998)

These gifs are not representative of the whole movie. There is more happening than CKR kissing or hugging people. He's also doing more than just kissing and hugging. It's all very... impressive.

Guess who's also here again? Sandra Oh! And say hi to Don McKellar, who is an absolute champion for writing/directing/starring. You'll be seeing more of him.

Another one for the "watch it for its own sake" box. Seriously, that late 90s indie stuff is banger after banger. It's so beautiful! Look at those colours! Look at those shots! It's very uneasy and charming and melanchioly and itself in the best way.

Twitch City (1998 – 2000)

Don McKellar is back to murder you with discomfort! Bruce McDonald lends a hand. Molly Parker is also here. And Daniel McIvor, who'd go on to direct, for example, Wilby Wonderful. It's a party. If you watched some stuff from above (or below) on this list, most faces and names will be familiar to you, tbh (another Hugh Dillon double-take happens).

If you liked Spaced, you'll love this. You might also love it because it commits to its weirdness with an admirable resolve and is genuinely hilarious. (Honestly, CKR's outfits alone warrant a watch.) The idiosyncrasy is definitely Don McKellar's doing 200%. It couldn't be more different from Last Night, but if you've seen one, you'll recognise the other.

Battlestar Galactica (2003 – 2009)

I don't think a person should be allowed to look this pretty in the sweaty-and-dying makeup in that light (this sentence probably looks very weird to those not under the CKR magic spell).

I don't know what to say about BSG because I really, really enjoyed early it initially, but by the middle of S2 it got... well, whatever that was. If you know you know, if you don't, still give it a go. You might get invested enough to suffer through it all, as I have been, slowly.

The unfortunate thing is that CKR got to be there mostly in the "what the fuck" years and not the "wow that's so cool" years. That, as you might be aware, is a pattern with him. But! When he was here, he was so genuinely, wonderfully creepy not in the typecast-baddy way, but in this slow, half-absent way, which really worked. You can also see him tortured a little, as a treat!! <3

Also, a wild John Pyper-Ferguson appears! If you're looking at him thinking you know him from somewhere but not immediately remembering, you'll figure it out, I believe in you. I was very happy to see him.

Wilby Wonderful (2004)

Another win for the put CKR in more good shit team!!! Guess who's here again? Sandra Oh! Also, Paul Gross. Don't watch it for him either though haha.

Another one for whoever wants to look at pushing against the weight of others' (or your own) expectations and growing into who you are or reconsidering who you are or finding meaningful connections with others even when you're kind of a mess and they are too.

Not nearly the first time CKR's gotten to play a queer character, but man, this one really is the heart of the in-universe community, and, through that, of the film. A rare chance to see him so far out of the prickly persona! He's just so solid and calm and there for others in this one and, and soft, ough. It's awesome.

By the way, if any of you have the commentary track or know someone who has, please drop me a line here or on discord (emotionalrisotto), I really wanna hear that.

Supernatural (2005)

I love Supernatural a lot. It was a formative experiences (albeit a very late one) and I owe a lot of my favourite stuff about fandom-ing to the buddies I met through it. I can't believe I'm telling you this (because who hasn't seen it, not because I'm reccing it), but you should really try it if you haven't. It's pretty rad.

I had no idea who this guy was when I saw that episode (the second ever one!), though. I simply cannot fathom what @nigeltde-fic felt when she first saw it. I think I personally got very lucky she didn't combust on the spot. It would've been unfortunate.

On a sillier note, CKR's character has weird tension with both Sam and Dean in this episode, which is par for the course. I personally think they should've... no, I shan't say it. You can probably imagine.

Californication (2008 – 2013)

I haven't actually seen it, lol (and I suspect I won't enjoy it, but I'm very curious and also CKR looks really really good).

The real reason for this one on the list is to share a fic rec. Really, it's a due South F/K fic featuring Lew Ashby. It's ridiculously hot and very satisfying in its romantic resolution, too (but then, I'm kind of big on selfcest. And consensual voyeurism. And pretend relationships when done like this. And sublimated yearning. Erm.)

Shattered (2010 – 2011)

I wish this never happened. I badly, badly wish this never happened. I can't turn back time, but I can warn those luckier than me: do not go there. Yes, even for this dude. You'll sleep better not knowing just what it is he was the EP on. And the only important part — the mascara — can be seen above (yes, the show does look that bad, it's not just the gifs).

Just kidding — I watched it, didn't I? You'll have fun hating it! Just prepare for industrial grade cringe, lower your expectations (No, lower. No, still lower than that. And just a bit more.) and you'll have a great time!

Star trek: Discovery (2024)

Or, as I call it, Star Trek: The Mediocre Show. Discovery S5 was... what it was, but it was a wonderful viewing experience — mostly thanks to the gang (@kittkatk and @feroxargentea especially!)

What a joy it is, to follow a show week by week, yelling and laughing and discussing the whole time. And giffing, too. I was very happy to contribute to the Disco fandom from my own little obsessive corner, and I was glad to see people adoring Rayner, haha.

He's a pretty neat character — very much a stereotype, yes, but with CKR's usual twist of odd vulnerability and weirdness. Also, I loved the ears. I miss the ears. The ears were great.

I even wrote a fic! Although it's not within my usual range to write for canons and universes I don't know well — and back then, I'd only seen S5 of Disco. It was a lot of suffering, and a lot of fun.

Closing thoughts

I'd really love the dude to get a better agent. And possibly better taste, but I realise that's a tougher ask. Seriously, it's been too long since he was in something majorly cool. I'm grateful to him, at least, for not making terrible music on the side. And I still have a lot of his back catalogue to get through, some of it even good, so there will be more insanity. Until then!

[solarmorrigan]

Between one thing and another, Steve doesn’t end up seeing much of the kids for the rest of the summer, after Starcourt burns down. Their parents worry about them, want to spend time with them, and Steve is trying to recover from a hell of a lot of damage and also find a new job – it’s understandable that they mostly check in with each other via walkie talkie, rather than in person.

He does, however, promise to give Dustin, Lucas, and Mike a ride to school on their first day at Hawkins High (apparently, he is a marginally cooler choice than their parents, and less work than a bicycle). Max declines no matter how much they all wheedle, but that’s an issue for another day

An issue for today is the fact that Steve hasn’t really spent any extended amount of time with any member of the party other than Dustin in nearly two months.

He’s forgotten that teenagers grow.

“No,” is the first word out of Steve’s mouth when he gets out of the car to greet Mike and Lucas, who are both waiting in the Wheeler’s driveway. “Absolutely not.”

“What?” Mike asks, though the smirk on his face says he knows exactly what Steve is talking about. Dustin (already in the car, the first one Steve picked up) and Lucas start snickering.

Steve walks up to Mike, just to be sure he’s seeing things correctly. Back in July, he’d still had to look down to talk to him. Now, they’re nearly eye to eye.

“No,” Steve says again. “You have to cut this freaky teenage growth spurt shit out right now.”

Mike snorts. “Why am I the only one you’re yelling at? Lucas is almost as tall!”

“Because Lucas isn’t gonna be a dick about it,” Steve says. “And we all know Henderson’s got a ways to go before he catches up.”

“Hey!” Dustin tries to interject, but he is soundly ignored.

“What about Will?” Mike challenges.

“What? Why? How tall is Will?” Steve asks, then shakes his head. “Never mind, doesn’t matter, he can be as tall as he wants, he’s earned it. But you--” He points a finger at Mike that seems to be amusing him more than intimidating him. “You are sneaky. And you’re not allowed to be taller than me.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so. Now everybody shut up and get in the car, we’re gonna be late.”

Steve claps his hands together in the universal dad-slash-coach signal for “let’s go” and Dustin ducks back into the passenger seat while Mike and Lucas settle into the back with minimal teasing or complaining. Once Steve’s backed out of the driveway and started down the road, however, Lucas leans over to Mike and stage whispers, “Wait until he sees how much taller Erica is.”

“Erica isn’t allowed to get taller, either!” Steve snaps. “Everyone just needs to– to– stop growing.”

“Dude, you sound like my mom,” says Mike.

“You sound like all of our moms,” Dustin adds.

“Combined,” Lucas chimes in.

“Shut up. This has nothing to do being anyone’s mom, jesus,” Steve huffs. “You’re all just easier to push around when you’re small. And it was easier to fit more of you into the car, since you keep demanding free rides.”

“Mhm,” Dustin hums, sounding like he absolutely does not believe Steve. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

“You’re laughing now, but let’s see if you think it’s funny when the three of you have to cram into the back once we pick up Robin,” Steve says.

The resulting explosion of complaints puts a little smile on Steve’s face. Maybe the kids have grown, but they haven’t really grown up. Not just yet.

[ohfallingdisco]

recent fav byler fics (ao3)

would recommend <3 how are you all geniuses

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Will’s favorite coffeeshop regular comes in with a girl. Clearly, they’re married. (1/1)

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Will gets doped up on pain meds after Dustin accidentally hits him with a board, and Mike is being normal. He is.

Finally Boyfriends (Actually, We've Been Dating For Five Years) by Vecnas_Left_Toe

Will and Mike finally got together the night before, and the following day, are now balancing being affectionate and deciding whether or not to tell their friends. (1/1)

in the closet (at mike wheeler's house) by andiwriteordie

Suddenly, Mike Wheeler is pushing Will back into the closet, and the door closes quickly on the two of them (and the apocalypse). Because... you know... the universe is an asshole and stuff. (1/1)

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need-to-snow basis by smoosnoom

Mike has been acting strange, and, if Will didn't know any better, he'd almost think Mike was flirting with him. Thankfully, he knows better. Kind of. (1/1)

a three-step plan to make will byers fall in love by RomeoWrites

It’s Christmas break and Mike Wheeler is having a crisis. The rest of the party concocts a three-step plan to get Will Byers to fall in love—assuming, of course, that he hasn’t already. (1/1)

Going Too Far Just to Have You Near by borealisaurora

Mike Wheeler always seems to gravitate toward Will Byers. When Robin points this out, he thinks she’s crazy, and they strike a deal. If she wins, he has to consider that maybe Mike has a crush on him too. (1/1)

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Will is gone, and no one is sure where he is. Mike thinks he might have an idea, though, and sets off to not only find him, but get some answers regarding the name on his wrist this morning, and why Will hadn't said anything about it at all. (1/1)

just gotta call on me by wiseatom

Five times Mike and Will shared a phone call throughout the years, plus one time they didn't have to. (1/1)

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A Jumanji AU where Mike’s homebrew DND campaign is a bit more than just a game. (14/18)

Much Ado About... Something? by RainyPebble07

For his senior year, Will Byers decides to try out theater. The school is putting on Much Ado About Nothing. He's sure it'll be fun...even if he does have a hopeless crush on the lead actor. (28/28)

[steddieunderdogfics]

I'm gonna rec Lycantunnel by Paryton (https://archiveofourown.org/works/54660313)

It's an underdog fic in a very different sense. Because it's full of dogs who are under. (the ground). It was also really good and I think more people should see it :)

Lycantunnel by Paryton

Rating: Mature

37,344 words, 18/18 chapters

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Season/Series 02, Werewolves, Werewolf Steve Harrington, Werewolf Dustin Henderson, Werewolf Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Werewolf Lucas Sinclair, Werewolf Mike Wheeler, Werewolf Eddie Munson (eventual), Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Blood and Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Steve Harrington, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, Good Babysitter Eddie Munson, Getting Together, Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sexual Content, Grinding, Marking, Scenting, baby birding, Pack Dynamics, these aren't fluffy actual wolf werewolves fyi, some demodogs are eaten rip and also ew

Summary:

Hawkins has something of a missing persons problem. What with Will Byers, Barbara Holland, and, not even a full year later, four more missing kids and an equally missing teenager. Hawkins PD probably had an official story, but the stories Eddie heard were shaped by the Hawkins High gossip mill. Mostly, Eddie remembers the posters, hung up in the high school hallway with their bold print names and grinning, guileless faces: Michael Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair, Maxine Mayfield. And, accompanied by a picture cropped from the basketball team yearbook photo: Steve Harrington. Missing. "Holy crap." Eddie whispers in jarring recognition, staring out into the shadowed tunnels with a lighter in his hand. The five wolves stare back. *** Steve and the kids don't make it out of the tunnels in time. Trapped below, they do whatever it takes to survive, even if that means becoming something new. Six months later, Eddie Munson faces a similar fate. But with him he brings hope: If he got in, then there must be another way out.

Thanks for the rec!

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[jaymari-lyn]

Fight or Flight (A Byler one shot)

“It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”

The words rang painfully in Will’s head. It felt like a slap in the face, except he felt the sting in his heart. That kind of sentence spoken aloud already hurt enough, but to hear the words fall from Mike's lips made it infinitely worse.

Will felt the hot tears strain against the corners of his eyes. A fairy, a queer, a boy who doesn’t like girls—that’s all he’ll ever be, even to his best friend.

Will’s fists clench instinctively and through a fit of bubbling anger words begin to tumble from his mouth faster than he can catch them.

Words that he can never take back.

“Well, maybe it is!”

The deafening silence that follows that sentence is louder than any of the yelling that had taken place before. Mike stands in visible shock and so does Will. The next action either of them makes will define their friendship moving forward and they both know it.

Will knows it.

So he makes the most reasonable, self-preserving decision and grabs his bike to leave. He wants to run and never turn back, like the coward that he is. To just run away from his problems, his consequences, from the whole damn world entirely. Run away from everything, even from MIke.

Only Will Byers is a boy who loves very deeply and with his entire heart, so he doesn’t really want to run from Mike. He wants nothing more than to rush into Mike's arms and stay, but that could never—will never happen. Not in this universe, at least, or probably any universe. For in what universe could someone like Mike Wheeler ever love someone like him? Besides, Will is still just a coward, so he goes to run.

He’s swinging his legs over the seat of his well-loved bicycle—the one he would ride with Mike as well as the rest of the party—when Mike is broken from his trance-like state. In a swarm, he is suddenly all over Will, hands, body, words, and anything else that he could do to get Will to stay.

Mike’s lanky frame was now standing in the way of Will’s poorly thought-out escape.

Well, Shit.

Will didn’t even want to hear what he had to say since it was bound to be all those awful things he was sure Mike was thinking. Hearing them spoken would truly be a physical manifestation of his nightmares.

However, instead of hateful words or slurs, all Mike does is call out Will’s name, mixing quite a few swears in there as well.

“Will, please! Fuck! Shit!” cried out the Wheeler boy. “Don’t go, Will, please! Fuck!” The desperation in Mike’s tone startles Will, and even Mike himself.

He doesn’t care about you, Will’s brain reminds him.

As the surprise settles in the atmosphere like a thick layer of dust, rage fills up every fiber of the brunette’s being. Now that he’s had time to let the hurt subside a bit, Will realizes that he is so incredibly, awfully, nauseatingly angry.

Angry at Mike for treating him like shit lately, angry at the world for making him hate himself, angry at his deadbeat dad for somehow making him hate himself more than the world ever could. He was even angry at Mom and Jonathan for ever letting him think that there was nothing wrong with him, that he even deserved to exist. But most of all he was angry at himself for being a mistake.

Looking through his tears, he saw that Mike’s hands were still firmly placed onto his forearm and wrist, keeping him in place. Will could break free if he wanted, bike away, and try to extinguish the thought of Mike Wheeler from his brain forever, but he didn’t, he stayed.

Deep down, there has always been a part of him that no matter how much he was able to hate himself, he could never, ever, hate Mike. It’s that little bit of Will that wanted to rush back to him in the first place. And if Mike was going to be the stubborn asshole that he always is and try to stop Will from leaving, who was Will to resist the boy he was so terribly in love with?

However, just because he was going to hear Mike out, does not mean that intense fury has gone away. Will wasn’t used to this feeling, being mad at Mike, but he found himself unable to care, unable to give a shit about the terrible want to hurt Mike back. Mike, the one person who Will thought cared about him most, the person Will cared about most, had finally intentionally hurt him like he always knew he would one day—all it took was Will letting a bit of the real him shine through. God, he was so stupid for ever thinking that there was a slight chance Mike could love him.

“Is this all real? Or is it like the doctors say, all in your head?”

“I don't know. Just please don't tell the others, okay? They won't understand.”

“Eleven would.” Eleven, El, the girl that Mike loves. Will distinctly remembers holding back tears in that moment at the thought of Mike loving someone that wasn’t him, now Will is quite used to the thought, but it still cuts him deep, like a dagger piercing his heart.

“She would?” 

“Yeah. She always did. Sometimes I feel like I still see her. Like she's still around but she never is. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.”

“Me too.”

“Hey, well, if we're both going crazy, then we'll go crazy together, right?”

“Yeah, crazy together.”

Will still feels like that, like he’s going crazy, only this time he doesn’t have Mike there to go crazy with him. He’s all alone in his insanity.

“Will,” Mike lets out softly, yet his grip on Will is still firm and strong. He was using what the rest of the party would teasingly call his “Will voice”, it was stupid, but it always had a way of making Will melt. He tried to suppress that thought. He was mad–no, furious–at Mike! Yet, Will still couldn’t get the feeling to fully go away when Mike looked at him with those kicked-puppy-looking eyes. Will was so in love it was not even fair.

The rain he hadn’t yet noticed until this very moment poured down hard onto the two of them. Each raindrop reminded Will of every tear he had shed, every tear he was shedding right now.

Will mutters a “What?” low enough that it is almost unheard, but Mike's careful ears pick up on his question.

“I’m sorry,” is all Mike can answer. Will finds it to be quite a pathetic answer.

“‘I’m sorry?’ Really? ‘I’m sorry?!’” Will's voice raises at the second “sorry”. “That’s all you can fucking say?! What are you sorry for Michael? For treating me like a fucking afterthought for the past 5 months, If you even bothered thinking about me? For ignoring me and walking all over me and expecting me to just take it? For only being my friend when it was convenient for you?! There’s a lot of shit you should be sorry for, you’re going to have to fucking specify.” The rage burns Will’s tongue as if he had just swallowed fire. He looks up to see Mike's jaw hanging loose, and his eyes welling up with tears.

Mike looks as though he’s lost for words, simply keeping his gaze locked on Will. He shakes his head, seeming to also shake away whatever trance he was just in as well. “All of it. Everything.”

“And what am I supposed to do?!” Will is now shouting, bound to gain an outsider's attention if he continues. “Just accept that you're sorry and move on?! Be your friend again just to be hurt all over again?! I’m sorry, Mike, but I can’t live like that! I can’t continue being your friend knowing that I’ll always care about you more than you’ll ever care about me!”

“That’s not true-” Will doesn't let him finish.

“It's not fair! It’s not fucking fair! None of it is! Why are you pretending like you care? I know you don’t, Mike.”

“I do care, Will! I care so much! More than I should care! I care!” Mike changes his grip to hold Will’s shoulders and shakes him to further get his point across.

Will begins to laugh through his tears, it’s a maniacal laugh born from pain, sadness, bitterness, and anger. “Then why did you do it? Why couldn’t you be a decent fucking friend to me?” The question hangs in the air, like the dark clouds lurking above them.

Mike’s voice is trembling now as he averts his eyes from Will. “I-I don’t know, Will.”

“No more lies, Mike! Why?” Will repeats because he's going to get a real answer from him if it's the last damn thing he does.

“I DON’T KNOW!” Mike is both screaming and fully sobbing at this point.

“Why?” Will’s voice is stone-cold.

“I CAN’T TELL YOU, ALRIGHT!?”

“Why!?”

“BECAUSE I CAN’T!”

“WHY!?”

“BECAUSE I’M FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU, WILL!”

Both the boy's eyes widened in shock at what fell from Mike’s mouth. Mike’s hands fall from Will as he begins backing away, the most terrified look Will has ever seen is engraved on his face.

It’s hard to believe that what you've wanted for so long, the thing he’s wished upon every star for, the thing he prayed for to a god he doesn’t even believe in, all he’s ever dreamed of and yearned for since they met on that swingset, is something you can actually have. He wants to analyze everything Mike has ever said to him, every brush of legs on their movie nights, all the times they held hands while the other was scared, from horror movies to supernatural dangers, every soft gaze Mike held with him. Will wants to know if Mike loves him the way Will loves him. He wished he could read his mind, instead of being left with mixed signals and unexpected love confessions.

While Will thought, Mike was currently trying to make a quick escape while muttering one “I’m sorry” after another. Will then realized that his thinking was keeping Mike away, so he stopped thinking and let his impulsiveness take over.

Will found himself dropping his bicycle and running towards Mike to envelop him in a hug. He’s tense at first, but once Will nestles his face into the crook of Mike’s neck, he relaxes and rests his hands in a tight grip on Will’s back.

“I’m sorry,” Mike apologizes, his lips so close to Will that the words melt into his skin.

Will pulls back a bit, locking eyes with Mike, the chocolate brown of his irises looking as beautiful as ever. “You don’t have to be sorry. Mike, I love you too.” Will finally takes that leap of faith, saying the thing that has haunted him for years aloud. It feels good, it’s something he truly wants to admit, it’s no longer a secret that he’s left to carry alone.

Mike shakes his head in response, looking like he’s searching for a reason as to why Will doesn’t really love him. “You-you don’t get it. I don’t…I don’t love you as a friend.” 

Will’s breath quickens as his left hand moves to hold onto Mike’s forearm, similar to how Mike held his just minutes prior. It seems silly that Mike believes this, despite everything Will had confessed so far that evening. “Neither do I,” he tells him after a long, thoughtful pause..

The mutual confession rests heavily between them, neither knowing exactly what to do next. Society had told them over and over again that what they felt for each other was wrong, that it was something to hide and bury deep down until people like them couldn't feel it anymore. But here they were, admitting their love for each other in the quiet of the night

After a few moments, their faces begin to move closer, like two magnets attracting, and then their lips then find each other in a slow, hesitant kiss. It happens so quickly that it’s hard to tell who made the first move, but Will swears it was Mike who leaned in first.

It’s perfect by Will’s standards. There's those butterflies that everyone talks about fluttering in his stomach, there's the brand new feeling of warm lips on his, locked in a kiss that is slowly building up in both passion and speed, but there's also a familiarity of Mike that makes everything seem natural. As if he was always supposed to kiss Mike, and hold Mike, and love Mike. And, God, does he love Mike! He loves his smile, his laugh, his terrible jokes and puns, how caring he is (even if he is a shitty friend sometimes), and just about everything else that makes him Mike, even his bad moods and hot-headedness. He loves the soft side of him, the side that’s vulnerable and kind, and willing to let his guard down and cry. He loves the Mike he sees and the parts of himself that Mike is willing to bear to Will. He utterly and completely loves Mike, more than words can express.

A hand finds Will's hair, somehow pulling him closer until there's no room between the two (not that there was much beforehand). Their chests rise and fall against each other as they pull apart, both of them trying their best to breathe.

Mike smiles a gorgeous yet goofy, love-struck grin that Will wants to keep looking at forever. He returns his own loving smile and leans in to ignite another kiss.

In this moment Will no longer feels like a mistake, he feels so right with Mike. If being gay means having this, then he’ll take all the insults and beatings that he can, as long as he has Mike Wheeler. And if Mike can love him, maybe Will can find it in himself to try and love himself too. Maybe he can find whatever it is about him that Mike loves and learn to love it too. He wants to not only love Mike but love with Mike as well.

The two young boys continue to kiss in the rain, both completely soaked, but unable to care. They kiss as if it will be their only chance to do so, even though it’s only just the beginning of a lifetime of kisses shared between the best-friends turned lovers.