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Now I have more questions.
With the technology being delayed, how was Charlie able to advertise the sanctuary?
How was Vox able to create TVs?
What do imps look like in your universe?
What is everyone's reason for coming and staying at the sanctuary?
How can you tell who's a sinner and who's a hellborn?
How does "marriage" work in hell, like with Lucifer and his wives?
Why did Charlie have children?
I'm getting the idea that whether or not a male is present determines whether the offspring is a fully anthro demon or a less intelligent demon. Is that true?
How would Charlie go about redeeming sinners?
What do the guests think of Charlie's methods?
thank you for questions ✌️ if you have more, ask
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• Charlie spread information about the sanctuary just the way people shared information before radio/TV/phones were invented, lmao
• rumors, pictures, street announcements, etc.
• besides, Charlie is one of the ruler's daughters, so her start-up was discussed by nobles and servants, and from them information went to the sinners
Vox and TV
• it was hard enough, but realistic for Vox: he had at disposal several decades, clear mind, technical education and the ability to build social connections to find help and resources
imps
• imps are the youngest among intelligent demons: descendants of spirits who ate animals' flesh
• they are often closest in type to the classic Pan/Faun, but more hairy
• appearance often depends on the region: swamp dwellers resemble frogs and amphibians, field and forest dwellers resemble goats and sheep, wasteland dwellers resemble lizards, cave dwellers resemble rats
• none of them has wings
everyone's reason
• Vega wanted to help sinners in any way she could after giving them a merciful death for three centuries, and find a quiet place
• Angel Dust escaped from contract with one of overlords (you know who) and asked in exchange for what he does best — like, you hide me, and I'll find anything you need or beat anyone (he has to be a janitor at first)
• Alastor doesn't care about redemption, — he's happy with his current lifestyle, — but he's interested in studying the nature of decay in detail, to see if the process is reversible, and to see where it ends up
• Husk just tired of the burden of years and, like Vega, wanted to find home: after losing status he would be killed in forest of self-murderers
• Niffty didn't really care as long as she was fed; she already knew Alastor (he found her on the streets of Dis and then found her a job in cannibal town), and when Alastor offered a new place, Niffty didn't even think a lot, she was used to working
• Cherri Bomb came after Angel — she was worried about him (Angel saved her when she didn't know where to go), and at first stayed only for Harvest time, but then she got used
• sir Pentious came consciously with a desire to repent and stay sane: he's close to fourth stage of decay
sinner or hellborn?
• in general, this is evident in appearance (sinners look less harmonious) and behavior, btw nothing prevents a sinner from learning to imitate local inhabitants
• another option is to look at the eyes (mortals most of all have the usual separation of round pupil and whites) and check the blood (humans' remains red)
• imps and younger demons are small in stature, roughly like hobbits in Tolkien's universe
• locals speak a different language (Yiddish/Hebrew/Vulgar Latin) and are often uninterested in modern human ones
• locals are much less care about clothes and don't feel vulnerable being undressed; sinners tend to try to dress up
concept of marriage
• marriage in the underworld works without sanctification and priests, and it's based on a common arrangement/business/land ownership/children; as a result, marriage for them is something between bargain, friendship and affection
• Charlie was going to start a family with Seviathan because of his nobility and wealth, but eventually changed her mind because she was afraid to have children with marine creature
• accordingly, polygamy isn't demonized (mostly it's the prerogative of the rich or nobility, but isn't forbidden for anyone); also they don't have anything against free relationship, marriages between relatives and so-called divorce if your spouse doesn't suit you
• Lucifer's case is a manifestation of status: he can afford several wives (besides, four is a sacred number), but prefers Lilith among them
why did Charlie have children?
• Charlie has them because she loves children, wanted children and could have them, that's all
• she makes no distinction between children and unintelligent inferior demons, goats are just as precious to her as normal babies
male precense and children
• yes, that's right: having a father adds diversity to the genes and allows for more developed offspring (roughly like honeybees)
• so female demon can have both full-fledged children and spirits/animals
Charlie redeems sinners
• at first, Charlie didn't intend to redeem sinners at all: she just wanted to keep them safe from exorcists, to calm down and call for the best in souls
• she came to the idea of redemption a little later, when she noticed positive changes in the psyche and recovery of memory in some of charges
what do the guests thinks of Charlie's methods?
• at first they think Charlie is a hypocrite
• then they think she's just stupid and crazy
• eventually they see her as a savior
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel rewrite#asileverse#hazbin hotel hell#hazbin hotel sinners#hazbin hotel demons#hazbin hotel critical#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel charlie#vaggie#hazbin hotel vaggie#angel dust#hazbin hotel angel dust#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#niffty#hazbin hotel niffty#cherri bomb#hazbin hotel cherri bomb#sir pentious#hazbin hotel sir pentious#asileverse ask
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I know you've had to have already touched on it but you ask for Mouthwashing asks and your last post finally made me think of something to say: the one (1) time in the game when Jimmy gets the closest to asking Anya why she's keeping Curly alive. Buddy!! Why are YOU!!! Curly wasn't your Captain anymore the moment he started talking about moving on and leaving you behind; after the crash you realized he was just your little Redemption Barbie now. The first time we open the med cabinet I thought we were going to be able to kill Curly by pouring the disinfectant down his mouth instead of the painkillers. But no, Jimmy goes out of his way to keep him alive. His "why are you keeping him alive" (paraphrasing) felt so accusatory because it *is* an accusation. Everything he does is a self-report. He keeps Curly alive so he can force Curly to be whatever he wanted him to be-- his savior, his junior, his punching bag, his best friend, his mistake, his enemy. Anya escapes from Jimmy the only way she can in the end but by then he didn't give a shit about her anyway because Curly was the easier target.
Him asking that question to Anya could even potentially be a parallel to the pause before he tells Curly he's going to "take care of it" (or "handle it", idr). Curly had the opportunity to rob him of his power-- to stop him from crashing the ship, to assert his authority and step up-- but he didn't. Jimmy asking Anya why she's keeping Curly alive is in a way taunting her with a similar kind of opportunity: she hypothetically has the ability to rob Jimmy of his power over Curly, to use her authority as the medical officer to end Curly's care, but she can't. And Jimmy knows she can't, and she won't stop him from keeping Curly alive to use him, just like he knew Curly wouldn't stop him from crashing the ship. He only gives the chance when he already knows the answer.
I think this is a misconception, Jimmy is the one who brings it up. Anya doesn't even acknowledge the idea verbally outside of saying she feels nauseous, likely due to the pregnancy and the idea of eating him.
He mentions they all agreed to keep him alive and implies the first reason is a back up food source, though, that's likely his first reason and the others just couldn't bring themselves to kill a guy or thought he deserved it to some extent. I like to think of it less as him taunting her power and more him trying to supplement his ideas into her head the same way he would with Curly. It's very reminiscent of the last conversation he had with Curly of doing something dire and not getting any push back, not by way of her agreeing with him but a non answer.
The relationships between Anya, Curly and Jimmy heavily reflect each other specially when it comes to being victimized by him and how he gets in their head. Anya is way more aware than Curly but lacks the position/power to stop it while Curly is less aware/resigned due to how long it has likely been going on despite having the power to shut Jimmy down. Jimmy is dependent on the two to actually solve his problems and do most of the leg work but becomes hostile the moment he feels it undermines his perception of them or himself in relation.
I do agree that Jimmy is aware Anya won't fight back against him like Swansea does or question him like Daisuke will. He is putting her into the same space as Curly but the key difference is he doesn't see her as a person. He is using her to supplement the active role Curly can't be but doesn't have that loyal friend aspect from her as she just fears and resents him. He's projecting on to her a lot but she never really concedes or acknowledges it in the way Curly did. He hates it and the sort of emotional games he plays with her reaches their peak when she locks herself in medical.
It's very interesting to see how he acts in the post crash without Curly as he is 100% worse but you can see how much of that is because he is aware there is no one to actually cover for his sorry ass now.
#also my bad i did just realized that Anya would be 4 months pregnant by the end of the game but I also still believe it wouldn't have made#it to term either way not gonna get into it but its implied she does start drinking the mouthwash and all the stress mixed with rationed#food likely meant it was not being developed in a healthy environment#i just consider things being fucked over at 2 months cause thats when they found the fucking mouthwash and started chugging like a#good captain wouldve atleast said hey thats a bad idea not start doing listerine shots like bro come the fuck on#but yeah jimmy likes to bring things up that no one mentioned and then act like the other person said something awful or had the idea#its likely so he doesn't have to admit to himself what thoughts are his own and makes projection easier cause he doesn't even ask questions#he asks them but answers himself its like genuinely crazy like just talk to a wall man or ur ugly reflection like he has every mental illne#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#ask#lichbarry
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i really want to sit down and make a proper Real lore doc for these goobers and not just the paragraphs of shtuff from whatever-ago, but like....... (buries myself underneath the dirt) lazy!!!!!!!
#i literally forgot to mention in dvorak's profile that they act like that because they believe they're the chosen one lmaoooo (stupid)#bro thought they were above morality and standards! cringe! out here like ''i will do literally everything in my power to learn at any cost#''chosen one'' like. ''oh yeah i am allowed to defy anything because i learn and i chart things on behalf of the atlas and i am Good At It'#they're *almost* -null- esque but like...#omg they would HATE -null- so much LMAOOO good thing they do NOT cross paths#i mean dvorak is still convergent and i dont think has that much exposure to the anomalies/travellers#at least not to the degree that the player character traveller does so idk!#also unlike -null- dvorak learns the power of friendship and is just like#perpetually in Atonement Mode now. they did some really fucked up stuff and then realized#uh. maybe that was not good! and not justified! even though you thought it was! bestie. your devotion was dangerous and harmful!#pre-redemption dvorak would have probably literally stripped teluya for parts and prodded at their corruption#post-redemption dvorak is extremely overprotective of teluya and more or less plays Doctor for them.#tbf teluya's corruption takes technological form but also is physically present inside of their chassis through potentially biomechanical-#-means so it's not like this is unwarranted (SORRY FOR THE GROSS TELUYA LORE THEY'RE WEIRD!!) but dvorak is So careful#they have to be lest they trip the sleeping corruption and just cause a complete overwrite of teluya's conscience inside of the chassis#science win! this anxious blue critter is a (figurative) ticking time bomb#anyway considering their shady awful past they're very knowledgeable on all sorts of things#including but not limited to korvax life cycles and by this i mean the return to the echoes#i feel like a part of their atonement would revolve around them facilitating the ease of returning for those at the end of their life#so some kind of korvax psychopomp of sorts. it's a good way to atone considering the... everything#ANYWAYYYY I COULD TALK FOREVER ABOUT THEM (them being dvorak but them being the trio)
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Casually thinking about how Sentinel and Optimus could of easily end up like each other if the circumstances were different and Sentinel completely breaking down after losing a love one.
#the things i seen in Sentinel Prime's villain and hero wiki is completely insane#this guy have so much potential to bea tragic antagonist that eventually get a redemption arc#yet it keep getting thrown away for stupid plot lines i could care less about#this guy personal life especially in animated is way more interesting than the actual conflicts#tf sentinel prime#tf optimus prime
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#fave#videos#thank yoooooooou#you get it#characters arent people and people arent characters#people irl deserve redemption. characters dont need to have redemption and sometimes its hurtful to the story if they do#i COULD make a redemption arc for zero-- but it would be stupidly complicated within my characters relationships given whats hes done in#the past. plenty of my ocs still would never want to be in the same room with him. it just adds unnecessary coffee au drama thats just not#the focus of my story at all. and hes not even a real person. hes an idea- an amalgamation of bad experiences I and others have had#manifested into one being that seeks to inflict these pains#likely his redemption arc would come from no longer being a vampire. but idk where he would go. and i really dont care to write it tbh#i have other minor antagonists I think would be better suited for a redemption arc than him. hes just done too much shit.#just in the same way a lot of azula stans would say ozai is irredeemable thats how I feel about zero.#and its how I feel about azula too tbh. yeah her story is sad and its possible to sympathize with but shes like a machine at this point#her humanity has been stripped away by her abusive father- and I dont think it would serve the narrative to have her suddenly appear#in a therapists office and crying about her trauma or whatever.#in this video he mentions how some ppl think its more 'realistic' to have her redeemed but... i really dont think it is bud#clearly you have not dealt with an azula in your real life. they're impossible to get along with and MOST people stop interacting w them.#they do end up isolated and alone bc of their actiosn. even if those actions are informed by a complex abuse system.#its sad but its also an important story to tell so people can at least maybe see themselves going down that route and stop themselves#characters help give examples to people of what would've happened if they made this or that choice. and thats the purpose azulas narrative#shows. irl people deserve a second chance and thats why we make these stories so they can know to try to avoid acting a certain way that#will only in the end harm their chance at a second chance.#not that its impossible- just that less people will be willing to go along w you on it than there would've been before you fell down hard
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Oh my gosh! HELLOO!
Anywho~
I had a request for Alastor with a reader who’s contract with Valentino just ended and Angel brings them to the hotel to help them get on their feet, they have lots of trauma from what the endured, maybe they stay close to Alastor because he’s very much a gentleman and never treats them like Val did?
Thank you!!
Oooh! I like this one a lot! We got a second Angel but unlike Angel, we’re probably better and less snarky and bitchy. Sorry, Angel. Anyway! Idk if it’s meant to be romantic or not so I am gonna guess—
Alastor- Redemption Path
Alastor can’t help but feel sorry and feel pity for you. You’re just like Angel but you aren’t as bad as Angel. A ex-pornstar that has finally been free from the pimp Overlord, Valentino and your dear friend Angel Dust is so relieved that you’re safe from him, now, he’ll take even more measures to make sure you’ll do better than him
Bringing you to the Hazbin Hotel, Angel Dust introduced you to the Hotel Staff. Hoping they could help get you back into Hell more stably. Out of Charlie feeling immense sorry for your sexual abuse trauma, Vaggie considering to sign you up for counselling and Angel Dust barking at Husk to be nicer to you. Alastor is the one who is the most interested in you
Alastor is the one who escorted you around the Hotel. He is the only one who treated you so perfectly, he is a true sweet gentleman and he is doing much for you that it’s unbelievable. He doesn’t want anything from you? How is that possible
Throughout the days since you first checked in as a client, Alastor notices the way you follow him around and he finds it adorable. You’re such a lost lonely little puppy needing somewhere to feel safer and he doesn’t mind playing that little safety spot for you. It’s quite amusing
“Oh. My dear, is something bugging you?” Alastor asked curiously as he finally turns around to face the cute eager shorter sinner that has been clinging onto him and following him around ever since he was polite and ‘respectful’ to them. Treating them like a person and not like an object. Unlike the first and only Overlord they knew at the time, he doesn’t even notice their curvy attractive body or make creepy sexual remarks in the slightest
He just compliments the cozy colourful classy outfits they’d wear, calling each and every one ‘adorable’. He finds you adorable as a whole and he is entertained that you’re so enamoured by his kindness, that you act like a baby fawn following his mother around
The sinner that has been following him around all day, takes a few seconds to even blink. You’re shyer around Alastor since he actually gives you a voice and a say-so, something you’re unfamiliar with. Having that… you never did back with Valentino and it’s almost overwhelming that such a friendly treatment is addictive to have, the way he handles you with delicacy. He isn’t usually a man to sympathise with an awful situation but for some reason, he sympathised with you in his own special little way. You’re thankful that he is even more polite and caring than anybody you’ve ever met, even Angel!
“Oh. My, you’re shivering. Are you cold?” You didn’t actually answer Alastor with words but instead with actions, approaching him and shyly reaching out for a handhold but you didn’t actually touch him, reminding yourself of his no touching clause. You hoped he’d let you slide this once. You don’t really have anybody to talk to after you were jolted awake from night terrors over what that awful squeaking sex-obsessed freak of a moth did to you throughout your contract with him
Angel is there as a friend but he’s busy still suffering under Valentino’s maniac rule right now, you don’t want to bother any of the staff nor Charlie about your problems whilst they are busy. Sooooo
You figured your emotional support, the one who has been very patient and understanding with you. He hasn’t let you down once just of yet
Alastor willingly takes your hand when he recognises your reach out attempt and brings you up to his side in a lone but strong tug. Not minding the sweater you wore being your only coverage for your bottom half. Just a cute off-the-shoulder sweater and thigh highs. Whilst your style mirrored Angel’s in an odd way, you didn’t gross the Radio Demon out like the current top pornstar did. You’re more innocent, more sophisticated
You’re nothing like Angel, despite escaping from the same ugly world as that spider sinner is still trapped in. You’re a recovering traumatised, overexploited pornstar in need of help to gain a new life within Hell and Alastor actually likes the idea of playing that knight in shining armour you clearly view him as. He can’t tell why but he likes it
Leading you down the empty, slightly dark hallway with one arm around your body to keep you close, pressing your face against the side edge of his broad chest and the other slightly stylishly twirling his signature staff-like microphone cane, the Radio Host plans to take care of you in other ways then just hand you some blankets and set you out to your own Hotel room. He’d prefer to personally put you to sleep and the process would be begin with a picture show, a talk and a darker warmer room
You didn’t know why but your face was beet red, your heart was pounding in your chest and your eyes sparkled as you tilted your slightly fuzzy head up to look at Alastor. In, what felt like a blink, his crimson red eyes flashed a sense of genuine affection before returning to the usual half-emotionless bloody haze as the radio effect on his rather mighty voice kicks in with the overlap of both sincerely caring and classic semi-mocking Alastor style caring
It doesn’t help that you swear you can feel his heartbeat grow faster…
Is Alastor feeling the same you are?!
“Come now, darling. You’re clearly having bad sleeping patterns. How about me and you watch that picture show you’ve been holding off? Yes. Yes, I know. I don’t like your technology but I wouldn’t be a help provider if I didn’t provide you help, now would I?”
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel short story#hazbin headcanons#hazbin hotel radio demon#hazbin hotel imagines#hazbin hotel headcanons#hazbin hotel characters#vivziepop hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor short story#alastor headcanons#alastor x reader#alastor#radio demon x reader#radio demon#romantic headcanons#romantic short story#crush short story#crush headcanons#romantic alastor#romantic alastor x reader#hazbin radio demon#the radio demon
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So if Alastor made a deal with Vs pet before going missing for 7 years how would she be at the hotel?
What would have happened if alastor made a deal with Vs pet before leaving
Warnings: obsession, bad foreshadowing, violence?
In all honestly, if alastor had ran into you again before disappearing he would have made a deal with you
You intrigued him in a way that he hadn’t felt in years, the familiarity he felt towards you almost made him nostalgic
But let’s say he did offer you a deal on the day you met
It would be something similar to your deal with vox, your soul in exchange for food, water, shelter and protection
He’d give you a small cottage away from the city and close to the cannibal colonies, somewhere where you could live without the worry of being hurt or killed
Your fridge would always be stocked with food every week and you had all the things you could need in the cottage with you
Now you expected there to be a huge workload after you found out what a prominent demon alastor was, but all you had to really do was be his assistant and help him with his broadcasts
You were his assistant for a few weeks before he disappeared and suddenly you were alone again
You were still taken care of in the essential ways, your always had food and water in your little cottage and Rosie checked up on the cottage once a week to make sure you were still alive and safe
But you were lonely, so you started to help out Rosie in the cannibal colony every now and again
And you continued like that for seven years, until alastor finally returned
Rosie had let you know about his return and warned you that he would call on you soon and not to ask him to many questions
It was whiplash for you, one minute you were making some tea in the kitchen and the next you were standing in the hotel lobby with a look of shock
Alastor introduced you to everyone and informed you that you’d be staying at the hotel with him to help Charlie with her vision
You were mainly there to help alastor and be his entertainment, but you did help nifty with chores and even cooked meals for everyone
Charlie was ecstatic to have a younger soul with them and claimed that you’d be perfect for redemption
Her girlfriend, vaggie, on the other hand was extremely cautious around you since you were associated with alastor
Husk knew of you from whispers from some of the other souls alastor owned
At first he pitied you since he knew what it was like to be leashed by alastor, and then he saw how much alastor favoured you and treated you much nicer than he treated any of his other souls
Husk couldn’t help but feel bitter of the fact that he was in a much worse situation than you, but he eventually grew to like you since he understood you were practically a kid compared to him and he wouldn’t wish his fate on anyone
You and angel wouldn’t be as close as you were if you were the Vs pet, but you’d both still be friends
Alastor wouldn’t be fond of sharing you with the rest of the hotel since you were there to be his entertainment, but when he made comments about it and gave you an unnecessary workload he got a very harsh scolding from Rosie
I believe that alastor would become like a mentor to you, almost fatherly but not too much
It’s canon that alastor would be a terrible father but a great mentor so I could see him teaching you how to use your power to its full extent and he’d like combining your powers together
I like to imagine that when you and alastor combine your abilities then it would start off as a 1920s jazz music sound and would contain techno beats when you join in
Your relationship with alastor would be almost parallel to yours and vox if you were the Vs pet
It would be less cruel and you’d be much happier, but there would still be a hint of obsession in the relationship
Alastor would definitely be somewhat possessive of you in a certain way, the same way a male deer is protective of its children
He’d like getting to know you and finding out what the connection was between you to
The Vs would absolutely despise you since you were associated with alastor and the first time they met you was through one of Vox and alastors fights
So overall I think you’d be much happier and safer with alastor but that doesn’t exclude you from still feeling like a pet
But at least with this path, you’d have a chance at redemption for you
That’s if alastor didn’t drag you back from the pearly gates by a leash
———————————————————————
“And this little dear is my darling assistant” is the first thing you hear as your pulled from the shadows, you could recognise that voice anywhere.
One minute you were stood in your lovely kitchen and now your stood trying to take in what seems to be a hotel.
You try and hide your surprise as you turn to find your owners crazed grin staring down at you.
“What am I doing here alastor?” You question with a confused tone. You know you shouldn’t question him, Rosie had warned you against it, but you couldn’t help your curiosity “where have you been?”
Alastors eye twitches in what seems to be irritation as he stares down at you, you could see a cat demon behind alastor wince in what looked like fear before alastor wrapped his arm around your shoulder.
“Nevermind that, my little doe” alastor says with an over exaggerated laugh “I’ve brought you here because Charlie here has an idea to redeem demons, truly laughable I know but I’ve taken it upon myself to help her achieve this pipe dream”
Alastor laughed with radio static as a background before turning you to look at him once again.
“And I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it without my dearest little fawn” alastor said with a grin as his claws pinched your cheek in what could be seen as threatening or playful, you gave up guessing a long time ago “so from now on you’ll be staying here and helping me with this hotel, okay dear?”
You simply nodded at his question, knowing you had no grounds to refuse your owner. You had to play the loyal pet once again.
“Perfect” alastor said with pep in his tone as he let go of you and face you in the direction of the bar “now run along and get to know the others while I talk with Charlie about your rooming arrangements, I’ll call you back when I need you”
You nodded as you begin walking to the bar and you take a seat next to an extremely tall spider man who eyes you with curiosity. You’re in front of the cat demon from earlier who also regards you with intrigue.
“Hi” you say almost shyly as your ears remain pinned against your head, you hadn’t talked to someone other than Rosie or alastor since you made your deal and this entire experience was outside your comfort zone.
“Heya toots” the spider demon spoke unsurely as he looked down at you “where’s smiles been keepin’ you then?”
“Hm?” You make a questioning sound as your head tilts in a confused manner
“He means he’s not seen you around, no one has” the cat demon clarifies with a gruff tone “it’s weird for alastor not to cash in on a favour from his souls, angel here wants to know where alastors been keepin’ you”
“Oh” you say with a confused look “I don’t think he’s kept me hidden exactly”
“Well I only heard about you through whispers, but I assumed it was just rumours” husk responds gruffly “no one knew alastor had an assistant until a few days ago when he mentioned bringing you here”
“Didn’t think smiles had it in him” the spider, angel, comments before looking you up and down “your a bit young for him though, don’t ya think husk”
Husk nods cautiously as he takes in your appearance, you couldn’t have been been more than eighteen.
“It’s not like that” you assure with a mildly disturbed face at the thought of the insinuation
“Than what are you to smiles toots?” Angel asked curiously “because he certainly seemed fond of you”
You think for a moment on how to explain your connection with alastor before speaking cautiously
“Well, I’m his-“ you were about to answer but alastors call interrupted you.
“My dear” alastor called for you “don’t you think it’s time you and I set up for a broadcast”
You nod as you abandon the two demons to walk beside alastor on his way to his radio station, like a loyal mutt being called back into the house.
“I think it’s time I show that pesky TV that radio still lives” alastor comments as he puts his hand on your shoulder and guides you “and with my perfect little assistant, I’m sure my broadcast will be as great as ever”
#hazbin hotel vees#hazbin valentino#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin spoilers#hazbin angel dust#yandere hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin charlie#hazbin vox#hazbin husk#hazbin vaggie#yandere vox x reader#vox#vox x reader#yandere velvette x reader#velvette x reader#hazbin velvette#hazbin hotel velvette#yandere valentino#valentino x reader#yandere alastor x reader#alastor x reader#alastor
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@marsupials-of-mars submitted:
I was planning to do maybe a fic and more doodles of this but now I'm busy with school so I might as well show what I did do!
Based on how the goldilocks fic seems to posit that Bill at his best is a silly professor who loves to teach his own way
Introducing Professor Locke!
Things about this idea:
-post redemption, however that will go. I'm calling it an AU because I imagine it is not your plan for what happens after lol, but currently canon-compliant.
-Bill is at first not very on board with the idea of working in the higher education system. It's a scam and it's dumb that they tell adult people how to think.
-He's eventually convinced to bless Backupsmore with his tutelage, on the grounds that they're less stuck up there, they seem to care about giving their students opportunities despite their backgrounds, and the kids there care about learning rather than going to college just because their parents said they should.
-Ford uses his academic connections to vouch for Bill even though he is very mysterious and has no academic records. This is another reason why they picked Backupsmore: i's a little more lax when presented with a shockingly smart mystery professor. Bill gets an interview and charms the pants off the university president.
-He teaches "astrophysics" in theory (that's the job description) but he ends up teaching a little bit of everything.
-He's one of those professors you either adore or despise. He's very loud, often outright mean, and if you're too shy to speak up in class he does not give a SHIT about you. You gotta want it!
-However, his class is notoriously easy. He thinks homework and tests are facist, but he's required to have a curriculum, so his "quizzes" are like a few true or false questions and then a short answer where he asks something he thinks would be funny or wants to hear about, like "what's the dumbest thing another student has said in class since the last test and why was it dumb" or "fashion advice: what's the coolest thing I wore this last week? Extra credit: draw something cooler I SHOULD wear."
-as a result, students who have completely unrelated majors will take his class. If they end up being interested, he deems them worthy. If they're just there to be lazy, he will bully them into dropping out.
-Mabel buys him stickers to put on people's tests when they pass, or to just hand out when they something he likes. He gets along most with the college kids who know how to appreciate a classic gold star.
-He really wanted a big pretty lecture hall, where his voice would echo and he could point at a big chalkboard. But all Backupsmore could provide was a cinderblock and linoleum basement classroom. The lights buzz very loudly and it smells musty. They have stools and folding tables. Bill finds he enjoys the more intimate environment where he can walk between the tables and also sneak up on people.
-He's broken multiple folding tables by trying to do the cool professor thing where you hop up onto your desk and cross your legs and talk all casual. He is able to do this on his own desk thankfully. It's aluminum.
-Ford gets a bit nervous if he did the right thing when bill tells his school stories at the dinner table, so he finds an excuse to accompany Bill to a campus event where he can meet some of his students.
-His fears are quickly assuaged when he sees how beloved Bill is and how well he gets along with the kids. When he eventually joins in on one of these conversations, one of the students asks if he's Sixer. The students are excited by this. Bill tries to shut them up, to partial success.
OK I guess I just ended up writing the fic more or less so enjoy I guess lol.
Aww, this is adorable! Thank you! (And the fact that you're imagining a future for Bill makes me so happy.) He's absolutely be the weirdest professor in the school and he'd ADORE having a crowd full of trusting impressional minds whose parents are paying him to change the way they think. Talk about playing to his strengths.
Your idea is so wholesome, meanwhile the moment I saw "Professor Bill" I went,
#submission#marsupials of mars#fanart#bill goldilocks cipher#my art#(i call his aesthetic Dork Academia)
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1-I've fallen in love with your Tiz Sep AU, especially how you made Mikey the problem child with the hardest redemption arc out of the 4, because normally it's not Mikey who gets that role (Cause he'll always be a sweet kid no matter what dimension or universe or faction he's in<3), so I'm really interested to see how Sep Mikey and Sep Donnie finally reconcile and become closer<3<3<3<3
I'm glad you're enjoying the AU :D! And I'm still trying to figure out how the events of the movie is gonna go down in the AU, but so far this is what I've come up with (though keep in mind this is subject to change)
So it's during season 2 that all that drama between Mikey and... basically everyone else in his family gets really intense, but he does end up mostly reconciling with Leo, Raph and Draxum during the season 2 finale (don't know the details yet, just that it's gonna happen). With that character development, Mikey also grows more accepting towards humans, he still doesn't like them but he's also not trying to destroy them all so that's something!
But Mikey and Donnie just can't seem to get along, in the time leading up to the invasion they're just stuck in this constant state of animosity. Raph and Leo certainly try to mediate, but it's almost like Mikey and Donnie don't want to get along. It's kinda one of those situations where it doesn't really matter why two people started fighting, cuz now they're been fighting for so long and about so many things that it feels impossible to even try to make peace.
So then The Foot get the Key, which in the AU happens because Donnie and Mikey can't stop fighting for two fricking seconds and they screw up the mission. And then each of them blame the other for the mission going wrong, which just gets worse when Casey Jr shows up and warns them about the Krang and goddam these two are being annoying. STILL! Despite their less than ideal relationship, they have started genuinely care about each other, and they both feel guilty about losing the Key, so when Mikey sees an opportunity of getting the Key back he goes for it (like canon!Leo did). And when Donnie sees that Mikey is about to get fucking skewered by the Krang, he jumps in front of his little brother and shield him with his own body (like canon!Raph did).
The story from here on out is not as thought out, but needless to say Donnie gets captured and "krangified". I'm kinda thinking that instead of the Krang just making him a soldier like Raph was, they instead hook Donnie up to the Technodrome or something? And after being freed from the Krang's control, maybe Donnie can still take control of the Technodrome himself to pilot it back through the portal. Cuz ya know, they still need a way to send it back into the prison dimension and the other turtles can't connect to the TD because of their hard shells. I did have an idea of potentially making April pilot the thing lmao, but I also have a headcanon that the only reason Donnie could pilot the TD at all was because he has some Krang DNA in him (empyrean), which April obviously doesn't. So Donnie will still probably be the one to send the TD back into the prison dimension.
In the AU, I imagine that Leo and Raph are still kinda dealing with the whole leadership-issue throughout the invasion haha. It's not nearly as dramatic and hostile this time around, don't worry! But I love the idea of Leo and Raph becoming co-leaders, only problem is that they're still trying to figure out what exactly that looks like for them. It not a huge issue when they're doing small-scale missions, but with how intense and stressful the invasion is, they're kinda struggling figuring out how exactly their dynamic should look like.
But back to Mikey, he obviously feels guilty as fuck over Donnie sacrificing himself for him and he's not handling very well. Mikey having lost access to his mystic powers is also really getting to him considering how heavily he relies on them. Leo's drama with Casey Jr in the movie is in the AU replaced with Mikey's drama with Casey Jr. Mikey is initially pretty cold towards CJ just because he's human, when Donnie gets taken Mikey decides to direct his hurt and anger at CJ because... well... he's human! And he didn't properly warn them about the Krang! So obviously it's somehow his fault that Donnie got taken! Somehow! It's very weird for CJ to interact with pre-character-development-Mikey acting like a petty brat about the whole situation, he's hurt by it but also quickly just grows very annoyed at Mikey's hostility towards him. And then we get That One Scene where CJ yells at Leo to get his shit together, except of course this time it's him yelling at Mikey haha.
Anyway, then Mikey DOES get his shit together, and he manages to help Donnie break free of the Krang's control by giving this big heartfelt speech about how he's sorry about how he has been acting and he wants to befriend Donnie and become real brother, you get it. But Mikey still feels guilty about everything that has happened, and to add on to that he still kinda has main character syndrome lol. Point is when Raph, Leo and Donnie all get knocked out of the fight and it's only Mikey against Krang One, he pretty quickly decides to sacrifice himself if it means defeating the Krang. It goes down pretty similarly to how Leo did it in canon, Mikey can fly so he lures Krang One into the prison dimension and is able to restrain him there long enough with his chains to convince CJ to close the portal.
So then the question is - how the HELL does he get out of there??? Mikey opened up the portal in canon, which is gonna be hard for him to do in the AU if he's being beaten within an inch of his life by Krang One haha. But I do think I've figured it out, so Leo and Raph at this point in the story have unlocked their Hamato Ninpo but Mikey hasn't, because their Ninpo is fueled by like... the connection to their family, and Mikey doesn't feel very connected to his Hamato ancestry before this obviously. But what if this is the moment where he doesn finally unlock his Ninpo! After both Donnie and Mikey proved their dedication to each other through their sacrifices, Mikey finally feels connected to the Hamato family. The way I imagine this scene is that it's not just Mikey creating the portal, his brothers are reaching out to him with their Ninpo and Mikey is able to reach back, even while in different dimensions. They're able to establish a familiar connection and because of that a litteral connection is formed through the portal, and Mikey is brought home.
Lastly I wanna talk about Donnie, specifically the uh. Injury he gets from the Krang when he shields Mikey. I actually drew this really quick sketch of that moment a while back but I never posted it here so I might as well do it now! It's not super gory or anything, but Donnie's shoulder got a little but fucking impaled and also there's blood so I'm putting it underneath the read more thing
Haha remember when I said this this AU was gonna stay mostly silly goofy? Teehee!
Anyway, I can't really decide if I wanna make Donnie just lose his enitre arm after this because lol. Lmao. But the reason Donnie doesn't like die from blood loss right after this moment is because the Krang goop is sealing up the injury, both when he first gets captured and interrogated, as well as during the time when he's under Krang control. After he's freed, he's mostly only able to help in the fight by piloting the Technodrome up partway through the portal, maybe he's able to like act as support in the fight against Krang One by using his Ninpo? But yeah no he basically gets benched as soon as his brothers get him back because he's still quite injured.
But look on the bright side, Mikey and Donnie both being on bedrest after the invasion gives them PLENTY of time to bond! :D Like sure, they showed how far they're both willing to go for each other during the invasion, but they've still got a lot of bad blood to sort out afterwards and them both being stuck in medbay kinda forces them to deal with their problems haha. So yeah, while the invasion is the catalyst for them making peace, it's mostly during their recovery that they properly bond with each other. (Prepare for B-Team cuddles, it WILL happen!)
And you asked about specifially when Donnie loses his immunity towards Mikey's puppy dog eyes, and I'd imagine it's during their recovery. Not only because they're growing closer, but also because his baby brother is INJURED and SUFFERING and to Donnie's horror he quickly realizes that he is unable to say no to Mikey now haha XD
HOOBOY that's basically everything, I still have to figure out a lot of the details, but writing this all down made me realize that I've figured out way more of the plot than I initially thought, so that's nice!
#also mikey being mikey means he actually ends up hiding in his shell when he's being beaten by krang one#and he's still in there when his brothers get him out of the prison dimension#and then they have to help him get his limbs out of there to treat his injures because he's too hurt and scared to do it himself :(((#i am putting mikey in so many Situations#also draxum is FREAKING OUT after the invasion#oh yeah i have to decide how involved he's gonna be during the actual invasion#whatever i'll figure that out later#but either way almost losing mikey scares the shit out of him haha#that's his baby boy :(#and mikey's just like ''but you literally created us for this''#which makes draxum feel even more guilty#tiz sep au#tizel talk#tizel art#tmnt#rottmnt#rottmnt movie#cw blood#cw injury
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Beetlejuice and Lydia (everyone grown and consenting of course) are similar to the dynamic of Nelson and Lisa yes?
oh you went for the throat with that one LMAO
i know why you're saying it but no, i don't think so. i guess it highly depends on which beetlejuice and lydia we're talking about here.
"to be loved is to be changed" is a fav trope of mine that i like to see applied to antagonistic characters because i'm a huge sucker for redemption arcs. i like to apply it to nelson and lisa, but i've also been applying it to cartoon beetlejuice's friendship with lydia because this works platonically too! and in a very sweet way i think. they might've introduced me to the concept actually, now that i think about it.
there's something very comforting about a character who's antisocial or generally disliked by everyone and hates everyone back...but has a soft spot for the one person who can stand them and sees the good in them despite their rough exterior. this person can be anyone; a friend (their only friend most likely,) a younger sibling, adopted or found family, a lover, a secret crush, hell even a loyal pet. seeing characters gradually change for that one person because they realize they don't want to let them down or just by positive influence, is SOOOO GOOODDDDDD
ok but circling back to your question. i know you said grown and consenting implying like a romantic thing but the only ones i could see having anything remotely close to a romance are movie bj and lydia and they...don't really have that type of dynamic at all. i don't think, at least. i haven't actually given it much thought. i've been seeing them a particular way for 20 years and now the sequel comes and flips the whole thing on its head so i'm trying to process that still. i've been working with their dynamic as close to the movies canon as i can, and in canon lydia doesn't see any good in him, actually, probably the opposite lol. he saved her daughter and kicked rory's ass but she still wants nothing to do with him. so they're out of the question for that type of dynamic.
so let's talk platonically because, again, it's a dynamic that works for any type of relationship imo. i think musical bj is a great candidate for "to be loved is to be changed" but not with lydia....because this lydia doesn't really care to "fix him" or anything. she's a bit wicked herself, so i'm thinking if he became "good" she would find him boring and wouldn't want to hang out anymore LMAO
so that leaves cartoon bj and lyds, which like i said, pretty much introduced me to the concept. i think lydia and lisa are very similar. bj and nelson are also both the type to laugh at others misfortune but kick your ass if you mess with the people they care about, while being softies on the inside. lydia and lisa both try to keep bj and nelson in line because they care about them (in lisa's case she's also controlling,) but sometimes they can be let down because of how untamable they can be sometimes. "to be loved is to be changed" but you can't try to change the one you love. the concept is only worth doing if the person who changes does so organically on their own, sometimes even without realizing. by the time they realize things are different, it's already too late, they're already too devoted to this person who somehow managed to make them less of a piece of shit.
to sum up, yes they are similar, specifically in the cartoon, but not in a romantic way. and yes i have a huge soft spot for this trope
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rafe x religious!reader
requests: OPEN
rafe cameron had never been one to believe in a higher power, much less one that could hold him accountable for his many decisions. the idea that someone or something could watch over him, judge him, or offer redemption seemed laughable—until he met you.
you were always at the country club, your presence impossible to ignore. your pretty dresses, paired with that delicate cross necklace that always rested against your collarbone, set you apart. something about you intrigued rafe in a way no one else ever had. you weren’t like the other girls he’d been with—you didn’t care for partying, drinking, or doing drugs—not that you judged others who did it, you just weren't interested in it.
one afternoon, as rafe leaned against the bar at the country club, his eyes locked onto you. you were talking to sarah, your smile bright and infectious. he found himself captivated, his usual confidence shaken by the unfamiliar feeling of admiration.
“dude, who is she?” rafe asked, throwing his arms around topper's neck. his eyes never left you. “she’s gorgeous.”
“that’s y/n,” topper replied, moving rafe’s arm off his shoulder. “she just moved in with her aunt. lives a block away from tannyhill. why?” topper says surprised. he wasn’t used to seeing rafe show interest in someone so wholesome, so out of his usual type.
rafe didn’t answer immediately. he just kept watching you, wondering what it was about you that made him feel this way. maybe it was your innocence, or the way you carried yourself with such grace. whatever it was, he knew he wanted to get closer to you.
after a few weeks of casual interactions, rafe found himself standing outside a church on a sunday morning. the old brick building loomed in front of him, a stark contrast to the lavish settings he was used to. he had never been the religious type, but you had mentioned in passing that you attended service every sunday, and before he knew it, he had asked if he could join you.
you had looked surprised at first, but then a soft smile had spread across your face. “i’d love that, rafe,” you say with sincerity in your voice made something stir in his chest.
now, as he followed you inside, rafe felt out of place. the atmosphere was quiet, reverent, with people gathered in the pews, their heads bowed in prayer. he wasn’t sure what to do, so he mimicked your actions, sitting beside you as the service began.
rafe had expected to feel awkward, maybe even bored, but as the sermon went on, he found himself paying attention. the pastor spoke of love, forgiveness, and redemption—concepts that rafe had never really considered. he glanced over at you, noticing how your face softened with emotion as you listened, how your eyes closed in silent prayer. there was a peace about you, a calmness that he longed to understand.
after the service, you both stepped out into the warm sunlight, the sounds of people chatting and children laughing filling the air. rafe had expected to feel relieved that it was over, but instead, he felt a strange sense of calm—a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a long time.
as you walked beside him, you glanced up, noticing the thoughtful expression on his face. “what did you think?” you asked, curious but gentle, not wanting to push him too hard.
rafe hesitated, searching for the right words. “it was…different,” he admitted. “i didn’t think i’d feel anything, but… i don’t know. it wasn’t as bad as I thought.”
you smiled, understanding that this was a big step for him. “i’m glad you came. it’s not about being perfect, rafe. It’s about trying, about being open to something more.”
he stopped walking, turning to face you, his gaze intense. “you really believe in all this, don’t you?”
you nodded. “it gives me hope. and it’s not just about church or religion—it’s about believing that there’s something good out there, something worth fighting for,” you smile to yourself.
rafe looked at you, really looked at you, and for the first time, he didn’t feel the need to hide behind his usual cockiness. “i’m not sure i’m good enough for that,” he confessed, his voice almost a whisper.
you reached out, taking his hand in yours, the gesture simple but filled with meaning. “rafe, it’s not about being good enough. it’s about loving others. and i believe you can.”
for a moment, rafe didn’t say anything, just held your hand, feeling a warmth spread through him that he couldn’t quite explain. maybe he wasn’t there yet, but for the first time in a long time, he felt like he wanted to try.
“maybe… maybe i’ll come with you again next week,” he said, the words surprising even himself. "but only if you promise me and date friday night."
you squeezed his hand, your smile brightening. “i’d like that.”
as you continued walking, your hands still intertwined, rafe realized that this wasn’t just about going to church or understanding your faith. it was about being close to you, about wanting to be someone you could be proud of. And for the first time, he started to believe that maybe, just maybe, he could be.
taglist: @namelesslosers s @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0
#rafe obx#rafe imagine#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe x you#outerbanks rafe#rafe fic#rafe outer banks#rafe#rafe cameron x reader
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Pairing : FWB!Yang Jeongin x F!Reader TW : Jeongin is an extreme asshole in this ; reader is pregnant ; lots of arguing ; one of those super cool fast forward moments so I don't keep reusing the same plot ; Jeongin sort of redemption ark but it came too late ; Word Count : 2.9k Request : no, but he's the last one! A/N : The last angsty dad in the series!!! Gonna miss writing these! Also, this one is definitely getting a part 2 which will have MORE angst but a happy ending.
“That was a nice prank you pulled, bud. Had the whole group laughing.” Jeongin muttered into his phone as he walked down the halls of the JYP building. “It’s not funny to fuck around like that though. Especially not at my job. I know that you don’t really give a shit though because your job isn’t as important as mine and something like this won’t fuck up your entire life, but… Ya know, can’t really have a scandal like that going around even if it is a joke.”
“You done yet?” You asked, trying to hide your agitation at the belittling of your job and pretty much everything that you do, doing your best to hold it together just long enough to tell him that it wasn’t a prank, that it wasn’t some joke. “I haven’t seen you in 2 weeks, and I honestly couldn’t care less about seeing you… But I needed to let you know, and you suck at answering your phone. I’m pregnant, Jeongin.”
If this was a scripted television show, they probably would have added in the sound of a record scratching just to emphasize the way Jeongin stopped dead center of the hallway, his eyes going wide and his heart feeling like it had frozen. “No the fuck you’re not. That shit isn’t mine if you are though.” You knew that this was exactly how it would go down, you weren’t the slightest bit shocked at the disregard and downright arrogant behavior he was exhibiting right now. “I mean, you obviously sleep around, it could be anyone’s kid. Not my problem. Don’t try to stick me with that shit.”
“It is yours. If you want to do a paternity test, fine, but I honestly don’t give a damn if you’re around anyway.” You retorted, and you heard him scoff loudly as if he didn’t believe you. “It’s not like you’d be a good father. You’re never around. We weren’t even dating.” You continued, and you could tell that he was getting pissed off by your comments, the way his tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth and he very loudly ran his hand through his hair. “I just wanted you to know that you will have a child in the world, although I’m sure this one isn’t the only one considering your track record.”
“Have you always been this big of a bitch or is it the hormones?” He snapped, and you suppressed the chuckle that threatened to escape your pursed lips. “And I’ll have you know, I’d be a great fucking dad. I’d be there for him or her whenever they needed me. And don’t try to be a cunt and keep my kid from me either. I know you’re that type of person.”
“Aww, baby bread sounds a little upset.” You mocked him, and you could tell he was seething, harsh breaths shooting through clenched teeth whistled through the speaker of your phone. “I thought you didn’t want to be stuck with this shit? Sounds like someone changed their mind.”
“Fuck you. Set up the paternity test and let me know when it is. If that kid ain’t mine though… I’m fucking done with you.” Jeongin hissed, and before you could sarcastically comment back, he had hung up the phone.
There was no doubt that the child was Jeongins though. You were quite loyal to your beneficial relationship, and while the agreement was that neither of you would catch feelings, it was kind of hard to not catch feelings. Jeongin was the biggest sweetheart behind closed doors when it was just the two of you together. Sometimes he made it feel like you were dating, but that bubble burst just as fast when he’d leave without a kiss goodbye. He didn’t have any feelings for you. You were simply there for his satisfaction and that was all.
///
“I told you that you were the father.” You mumbled as the test results were handed to both you and Jeongin on separate papers. You didn’t need to stay in the doctor's office any longer though, you had gotten the answers that Jeongin wanted, and now you could leave. “Do with that information what you want, but I was serious when I said I didn’t need you. You don’t have to prove anything to me, and you don’t have to prove anything to the baby.” Was supposed to be the final remark as you got up and started to head out, but Jeongin was quick to follow after you.
“You might think that I’m an asshole…” Jeongin began and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, walking faster now to try to get away from him, but it was easy for him to keep up. “Just because I don’t want to be with you doesn’t mean that I don’t want anything to do with my kid. It’s my responsibility and my right to be a part of my kid’s life. You don’t get to decide whether I can or can’t be there.”
“Thank you, Jeongin, for that… sweet sentiment. Make sure you tell all the reporters about what a nice guy you are so that all the fans will love you more.” You spat the words at him as you, quite aggressively, pushed open the door of the office. “I’ll keep you updated. Thank you for coming out today.” You started to walk towards the bus stop, but Jeongins hand wrapped around your elbow and tugged you back towards him. “The fuck are you doing?”
“You’re carrying my child. You’re not riding the bus.” Jeongin said it as if it should have been obvious as he walked you towards the car that he had rode in. “Get in. And let me know when all of your appointments are so that I can have someone come pick you up and take you back home.” There wasn’t any emotion when he said it, it was all very bland, as if you should have known better than to take your usual way of transportation.
“This is ridiculous…” You mumbled as you climbed into the backseat, but deep down, you were grateful that you didn’t have to hunt for a seat on the bus like usual. You’d be able to sit comfortably, at least for the next 8 to 9 months. “I still have to take the bus to work so I can afford my appointments and everything that I need.”
“That job isn’t safe for you in your condition.” Jeongin said, still void of emotion. “I’m going to take care of my child, and my child is currently residing in you, therefore I’m going to take care of you as well. Again, you might think that I’m an asshole, but I’m not going to let you strain yourself and potentially lose the baby. I know it would hurt you, and whether you believe me or not, I’d be upset as well.”
Although there wasn’t a hint of kindness in his tone, the words alone were enough to show that he did care. It was hard to hate him and be mad at him when acting like this, but you knew that it wasn’t because he cared about you, it was because he cared about the baby… And truthfully, that’s all you could really ask for. “Thank you…”
///
“Why didn’t you call me first?” Jeongin asked, having spent the better half of his morning pacing the practice room, screwing up his dances, unable to focus at all due to the fact that you didn’t contact him like you usually would. Now that he finally had a break, he was able to call you, which shouldn’t even be a thing considering you didn’t have to work anymore and he was taking care of everything. The least you could do was keep up with the scheduled calls.
“Because I woke up this morning and things just felt a little… weird… ya know…” You sarcastically stated back, and he hated the fact that you couldn’t just be clear with him. Everything had to have just the tiniest hint of sarcasm in it. You were 8 and a half months pregnant and his worries for the baby were through the roof. He didn’t know when you’d go into labor, he didn’t know anything, and of course, you just had to be a smartass. “So I’m in the hospital-”
“Hold up! You’re what?!” Jeongin screeched, not even waiting to hear the reasoning behind your sudden trip, he just wanted to get to where you were as soon as humanly possible to make sure his baby is okay. “I told you to stop trying to clean the damn house by yourself. That’s what I hired the maids for. I hired literally everyone that I could to make this easier on you, yet you still act like a fucking idiot. What’s wrong with the baby? Is she okay?”
“Don’t be a dick.” You huffed, and Jeongin could faintly hear the sound of a machine beeping during the short moment of silence. “Sorry that she doesn’t work around your schedule, but your daughter decided that she wanted to come out today. So, if you feel so inclined to do so, you can come see her be born. I’m not sure how much time you have, I’m already like… I think they said 5 centimeters dilated so… better haul ass.”
And that he was. He never thought in a million years that he’d be skipping out on practice without even saying anything to one of the guys to watch his beneficial friend give birth to the daughter that he was already devoted entirely to. It was crazy how just the prospect of being a parent made him want to be a better version of himself. “Well tell the doctors to shove a cork in there or something, at least until I make it to the hospital. I’m not missing it.”
“Will do, buckaroo.” He could just hear the eye roll that came along with it, but then he heard the sound of your pained, labored breathing, and the beeping of the machine sped up momentarily before going back to a steady rhythm. “Just hurry the hell up, I don’t think she’s waiting for anyone. She wants out.”
///
Raising a child was hard, being an idol and a father at the same time was hard, but coparenting with the girl that you had managed to catch legitimate feelings for over the last 6 years was even harder. How could he not fall in love with you though? Watching you with his daughter was the most strangely attractive thing he’s ever witnessed, and he regretted not asking you to just be his officially when he first found out you were pregnant. That would have saved him from the feeling of jealousy and anger that he felt when you started going out on dates.
“I don’t know why you’re wasting so much time on these low grade losers. You could do so much better.” Jeongin called to you from the living room as he sat at the makeshift table where he was currently being served Cheetos and a Caprisun by his daughter. “None of them are good enough to even get close to my baby anyway. I feel like I should have a say in who you potentially start bringing home around her, shouldn’t I?”
You peaked your head out from around the bedroom door and he swears, he’s never seen you look more beautiful. He hated whatever guy was lucky enough to be going out with you right now. “Coming from the biggest eff word boy in the industry… I think that’s quite hypocritical of you.” You teased, sending him the most gorgeous, heart stopping smile, even though he knew it was supposed to irritate him, it only made his stomach fill with butterflies.
“I’ve changed my ways. The only two beautiful girls I want to spend my days with are Jeongsoo and you.” He leaned back on his hands so he could try to see through the bedroom door where you were getting ready, hoping to see some kind of reaction, even just a smile at his flirtatious attempt. Sadly, Jeongsoo wasn’t too keen on the idea of not being the center of her fathers attention, so she walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder, his gaze quickly turning to look at her sassy, cross armed stance, trying hard not to laugh.
“Dad. You are gonna go to tea party time out if you do not play right. Do you want to go to tea party time out with Mr. Oink?” She pointed her little finger into the corner of the room where her stuffed pig was sitting staring at the corner and Jeongin quickly shook his head no. “Good. No time out for you.” She nodded her head before going back to her play kitchen. She was almost a carbon copy of you, at least in the attitude department, but he absolutely adored her and he couldn’t imagine a world where she wasn’t sassily living in it.
“Are you sure you don’t mind babysitting her? I know you’d rather be out with the guys right now.” You said as you came out of the bedroom, the little dress that you were wearing hugged all of your curves, and while Jeongin didn’t know anything about the guy that you were going out on a date with tonight, he hated everything about him. “I’ll pay you back tonight for watching her.”
He rolled his eyes, wanting nothing more than to get up off the floor and go over to you and grab you by the waist and kiss you, but the thought of being in tea party time out was keeping him from doing so, especially since Mr. Oink had been staring at the corner for a good hour and a half now. “You don’t have to pay me for spending time with my daughter. It’s not even considered babysitting. I think you’re forgetting that she’s literally half me.” He commented, hoping that maybe pointing out the fact that the daughter that you both loved so much was the most perfect blend of the two of you would have you second guessing going on that date.
“Well I’ll still pay you. I think the girls you hook up with at least deserve a good dinner before they find out they’re just your friend.” You teased, but he knew that was also a jab at the way he had gotten with you. He had only taken you to McDonalds once before taking you to his bedroom, and for that, he feels like shit because you did deserve better, you still do. “He’s here. I’ll be back in an hour or two…” You said, and he absolutely despised how giddy you looked to go out and meet this stranger who was most definitely not good enough for you.
You ran over to where your daughter was still working at her play kitchen, ruffling her hair and then bending over to press a kiss to the top of her head before telling her you love her. “Call me if he does anything weird. I’ll have a guy from security pick you up. Just let me know where you are.” Jeongin said as you headed towards the door, and while you always thought that it was simply because he didn’t want anything happening to the mother of his child, it was because he didn’t want anything to happen to you. He loved you, and every single time you walked out that door to meet someone new, he was one step closer to never being with you at all.
The door closed behind you and he let out a heavy sigh, running his hand through his hair before taking a sip of his juice box and falling flat onto the floor. “Daaad!” Jeongsoo whined when she heard his head land against the hardwood floor. “You getting sleepy? You didn’ even finish your cheetos.” She huffed softly, the sound almost like a recording of your own voice. “Whatchu wanna do now?” She asked, and Jeongin pushed himself up off the floor, scooping her up into his arms in the process.
“Let’s watch a movie. Get Mr. Oink out of time out real quick though, I think he feels a little sad.” Jeongsoos mouth popped open in shock as she ran over to retrieve her forgotten stuffed animal before returning to the couch and sitting next to Jeongin. “We’ll watch a movie and eat some ice cream, and then it’s time for bed, okie dokie?” She nodded her head in agreement as Jeongin flipped through the movies on the tv.
It was a good night, he tried to remind himself of that as his daughter peacefully slept curled up against him. The movie was turned down almost completely, the only sound filling the silence was Jeongsoos soft snores. He waited for the text from you, telling him to send someone to pick you up and bring you back home to him and your little family, but it never came. He didn’t want to go out with the guys tonight, he didn’t want to meet anyone else… All he wanted was you. How perfect the night could have been if you had been here, sitting opposite of Jeongsoo, his arm draped over the back of the couch to gently run his fingers through your hair as you both focused on the movie in front of you. That would never happen though. He was too scared to ask you now, and surely there would be someone else out there that you thought was more deserving of your love than he was… And maybe you would be right… He had let you go, and now he had to sit back and pretend that it didn’t break his heart each time he’d watch you leave.
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the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.
Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."
As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.
If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.
I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."
And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!
Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.
"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.
In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.
In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.
All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.
They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.
(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)
Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.
You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.
#Recently I've been reading a book on verbal abuse by Patricia Evans#And something I really appreciate about it is the way that it explains the way that abusive people *think*#The way that victim and abuser typically have a WILDLY different view of the world#The most important thing about this book though it how much it stresses that *these impulses are still human*#They play these power games to keep a sense of control in their relationship. It feels GOOD to hurt and dominate their partner.#And even when it describes the worst of humanity and the behaviors that escalate into physical violence--#--the book keeps in mind that anyone could change. But not everyone will. And it is NOT your responsibility as a victim to change them.#Reading it is painful but also very validating.#I wish I'd heard of it several years ago when I was first leaving that relationship lmao#but. How do you reconcile it when one of the most traumatic experiences of your life was an act of love in their eyes?#When it *wasn't* part of a game to hurt you but something they legitimately did in the thought they were protecting you.#You don't even get the satisfaction of having it just be nice and simple. That it was bad and we allll agree it was bad.#Frostie girlie you and me are going out to Carvel's and I'm buying us both a milkshake#warrior cats analysis#child abuse
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okay the soul doesn't just change spike as a person like i legitimately think it's whack to assume he'd be going around apologizing to people he could not care less about. like the things spike values are still true to him as a person. fighting and hunting and loving are all the same to him, just viewed through a slightly different lens.
fuck remorse. buffy doesn't give him the benefit of the doubt because he feels remorseful for everything he's ever done. she gives it to him because his actions in direct relation to her and the things he did to harm her have shown he is making an effort to change the way he interacts with her specifically. it shows he is making the effort to value certain things that she also values. it shows he made a monumental effort to be better and forge himself to fit a certain space in her life.
i think the one thing people fumble when interpreting spike's character is an assumption that his redemption is that of someone who wants to be a better man for the good of everyone and his own self image. spike doesn't want that. he wants to be better for buffy. and part of that is redeeming himself at large, but most of it is just becoming the person she can rely on at her worst.
honestly part of what makes spike appealing with a soul is that he doesn't feel bad about nikki. he doesn't return the coat and he doesn't make amends in avenues that he doesn't value or that he doesn't think buffy will value. a vast majority of spike's character is shaping himself for those he loves. but even then there are parts of him that will never change. to be quite frank i think that makes him more appealing as a character. not less.
i just think it's a fundamental misunderstanding of both buffy and spike as characters to say the leeway she gives him in season seven is because he has a soul now and soul = good. when that very much is not the case. it does a disservice to buffy, most of all. whose priorities have shifted drastically and who needs someone on her side that is unquestionable in their loyalty to her. and who she also cares for very very deeply.
#anyways yes this is a vagueblog no it's not in bad faith#i just didn't want to overrun the other post with discourse#btvs#spike#spuffy#buffy summers
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Sauron, Galadriel, & Tolkien's Theology of Repentance - Part One
Summary: Character meta analysis on Sauron (and Galadriel, through the lens of Sauron). Based on both Silmarillion & RoP canon. 3.5k words. Discussion of Catholic theology involved. Blanket TW for discussion of violence, manipulation, etc., because Sauron. Spoilers for S1 & S2 and the Silmarillion, of course. The tragedy of Sauron is that he gets offered so many legitimate chances at redemption and forgiveness, and he denies them every single time. But we know he wants absolution, because that’s what he sees Galadriel as: his chance to bind himself back to the light, to be Mairon again, to heal the pain that he caused and that was caused to him under Morgoth. But because he has such a warped view of himself and his actions, he dismisses genuine extensions of compassion, forgiveness, and care as simultaneously beneath him and too good for him. And yet, he still pursues redemption, but through none of the channels offered to him.
In The Rings of Power, he’s given the explicit instruction to change for the good in the village after he’s reborn. He’s given the chance leave his past behind and work meaningfully in Númenor. He’s given the chance to redeem himself by Galadriel's offer of friendship (or love, depending on your interpretation). In the Silmarillion, he's even given the chance by Eönwë himself, and comes close to leaving Morgoth behind completely!
Let's look at this passage from Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age (emphasis mine):
When Thangorodrim was broken and Morgoth overthrown, Sauron put on his fair hue again and did obeisance to Eönwë the herald of Manwë, and abjured all his evil deeds. And some hold that this was not at first falsely done, but that Sauron in truth repented, if only out of fear, being dismayed by the fall of Morgoth and the great wrath of the Lords of the West. But it was not in the power of Eönwë to pardon those of his own order, and he commanded Sauron to return to Aman and there receive the judgement of Manwë. Then Sauron was ashamed, and he was unwilling to return in humiliation to receive from the Valar a sentence, it might be, of long servitude in proof of his good faith; for under Morgoth his power had been great. Therefore when Eönwë departed he hid himself in Middle-earth; and he fell back into evil, for the bonds that Morgoth had laid upon him were very strong.
This passage is clear that Eönwë is willing to pardon Sauron--he simply did not posses the power to do so. But when Sauron was told he must appeal directly Manwë, he gave up entirely and skulked back to Middle-earth. There are a few ways to read this:
1. He was not wholly repentant
Sauron simply wanted the protection of a new master in the absence of Melkor. i.e., he was rather fickle and simply wanted to be on whatever the "winning" side was. This is supported by the text literally saying that at least some of his obeisance was completely false, and that he only made a point of feeling bad about anything once his master had been chucked into the Void and his armies and strongholds were being destroyed (Thangorodrim). In this reading, perhaps Eönwë saw Sauron's treachery and referred him to Manwë knowing that it would be a test of his true intent. However, while a valid interpretation, I believe this to be the less holistic of the two.
2. He was truly repentant
Sauron did truly feel badly and "abjured all his evil deeds," but he was unwilling/unable to humble himself after being so fundamentally broken by Melkor and developing an insatiable power lust (hey, he isn't defined in the narrative by lust and pride for nothing).
Earlier in this same chapter, Tolkien wrote that Sauron could "...deceive all but the most wary." This is in the specific context of his physical shapeshifting. But, I would argue that this can also be tied to his lies. Tolkien has a specific ethic of beauty, where physical perfection is equated with moral goodness. Sauron completely inverts what is otherwise a hard and fast rule within Tolkien's writings by being the character most frequently described as "fair"--seven times to Lúthien's six, and she was the most beautiful woman to have ever lived!
(Side note: I have another post on Tolkien & beauty in the works where I'll get more into this idea)
Why does this matter? Even though this interaction with Eönwë takes place in the First Age, Sauron could at this point be in the demonic form Mirdania describes in the forge. And, I am inclined to believe that Eönwë, as the head Maiar and herald of Manwë, would be a pretty wary guy, and thus able to sense any of Sauron's trickery. I read this to mean that Eönwë looked at Sauron and saw his potential to be Mairon again, either in absence of his evil form or in spite of it.
Because Sauron is incredibly beautiful. And even if it is a disguise of the true, depreciated form of his spiritual essence, he presented himself to Eönwë at his most beautiful. He wanted, even in his act of repentance, to make himself more favorable in Eönwë's eyes. To show up as Mairon (who was likely close friends with Eönwë before everything went down, since they are considered to be two of the most powerful Maia and would have worked closely together).
But I don't think this was all manipulation on Sauron's end. I agree with the scholars mentioned in the text who believed that Sauron was truly repentant--which is why Eönwë even bothered referring him to Manwë instead of kicking him into the Void with Melkor.
And this is the tragedy: Sauron is told exactly how to repent, and believes fundamentally that it is an impossible path for him. And yet, he still longs so intrinsically for it! He was, under Aulë, a Maia of precision, perfection, and order. Under Morgoth, he feels disordered, dis-regulated. He needs to correct the fundamental imbalance within him, so why does he flee Eönwë?
It comes back to Sauron's pride.
If he follows through with this path of reconciliation, there is no way he can hide or pretend his actions away. If he cannot trick his fellow Maiar, he certainly cannot trick the Valar. And he cannot stand the idea of submitting himself back under their rule, especially now that he has tasted power. This is a pride wound; it is why the idea of confessing to Manwë would be humiliating to him as opposed to just upsetting/uncomfortable.
Again, the pivotal moment: he is told how to make amends for crimes and determines that he cannot do it. So he returns to Middle-earth and stews in his own self-hated and self-pity for a few years. In that time, he consciously or subconsciously latches onto Eönwë's offer--forgiveness from penance. It is the way forward. And if he cannot earn penance at Manwë's hand, he will do it on his own.
The Prodigal Son
This is where we have to talk about the Catholic roots of Tolkien's work for a moment. The scene where Sauron approaches Eönwë mirrors the biblical parable of the prodigal son. In this story, a man abandons his family, spends all his money, and falls into ruin. But when he recognizes his failings and returns to his father to get help, he is welcomed back into the family without question--in other words, he is forgiven and restored to his former position.
17 But when he [the prodigal son] came to himself he said, “How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18 I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.’” 20 So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. - Luke 15:11-32, NRSV CE (emphasis mine)
The parallel is clear; Mairon, the repentant Maia, returns home with hopes of reconciliation. He is prescribed the same task that the prodigal son offered to his father: he must be bound in servitude to his father/creator in order to pay off his debts. This is a deliberate allusion from Tolkien. The story of the prodigal son models the path of reconciliation that Eönwë describes. Tolkien seems to be drawing a line in the sand with this: Sauron is unwilling to do the work required by the Valar for repentance, so he is unable to receive the grace of a warm welcome back into the fold of the Ainur. Since he did not humble himself, he has to be told to do it. And he does not want to! He wants to be loved, but he also wants his power--evidence, in a way, of how his character was fundamentally altered in his time with Morgoth.
His pride--and his fear--cut him off from the potential of grace. He does not know for certain that Manwë would subject him to servitude (though I would argue that it's textually evident that it is a custom), but this assumption leads him to flee, which allows him to slip back into his old ways.
He wants to be Mairon (admirable) again, not Sauron (abhorrent). He wants to be accepted and loved, but not punished. He wants the benefits of reconciliation without the work he would have to do to earn it or the shame he would feel as he did. It's pride, but it's also deep shame--the flip side of his extreme ego is an implicit self-hatred, one that we can see in the subtext of how he speaks about himself and about his time with Morgoth.
Even the language Tolkien uses is heavily shame-coded, especially in a Catholic context; Mairon did not go willingly, he was "seduced." He admits to Celebrimbor that he was "tortured by a god". It becomes exceedingly clear through both text and on-screen canon that Sauron was routinely broken and abused for centuries. This has fundamentally damaged his self-perception, which is ultimately what leads him to "[fall] back into evil"--whether due to pride or shame, he hides, perhaps because he consciously or subconsciously does not believe that he deserves forgiveness, no matter how much he craves it.
Naked in the Garden
His flight back to Middle-earth after meeting Eönwë is reminiscent of another biblical scene, where Adam and Eve, after committing the first sin, hide from God in shame and fear (emphasis mine):
7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked...9 But the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 He said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.” -Genesis 7-10, NRSV CE
The image of nakedness is, here, one of vulnerability, and Tolkien establishes that Sauron fears that which he cannot control. He needs the Rings under his power. He needs his armies and his enemies under his watchful eye. He is petrified of letting his power slip away (possibly due to never wanting to feel powerless in the hands of a Vala, fallen or not, again).
The biblical allusion here hearkens back to the fear Tolkien describes Sauron as feeling regarding his return to the Ainur. In the religious system Tolkien has established, which is likely inspired by his own religious beliefs, Sauron has sinned, and must make penance. But he is afraid of God/Manwë, and does not want to "let go" of his sin. In other words, he is not truly repentant. This reflects the Catholic sacrament of confession, which requires self-reflection and resolve to never commit the sin again.
Instead of shame driving him to contrition, it drives him to isolation.
But he still wants forgiveness. So, in his years of hiding in Middle-earth, he decides to earn it himself. His own way.
Enter the Rings.
Sauron wants to perfect the wrong he wreaked so that he can both earn his way back into the Ainur and keep his power. But what he does not realize is that this does not work. Eönwë is clear that he must forsake his true temptation--absolute power--through penance by submission. Yet Sauron in his pride thinks he can have it all. Sauron is a very carefully controlled villain, and the only times he snaps or makes significant mistakes are when his inflated self-perception is challenged, revealing the self-loathing and/or self-pity underneath. The best example of this is when he kills Celebrimbor prematurely, and cries afterwards. Why? Because Celebrimbor was right about him, and he hates it. He hates knowing that he is nothing more than the Morgoth's shadow, because Morgoth was his master as much as he was his tormentor. As Sauron puts it, his relationship with Morgoth was often defined by pain as a test to see "whose will was the mightier":
This image carries more shame, both in its implicit sexual connotations and in the simple power dynamic of it. Sauron, even though misguided, is rallying against Morgoth. He wants to break what Morgoth has created and build something new, something better, something apart from his old master entirely. But Celebrimbor confronts him with reality: he has not created something new, and perfect, and special, as he so wanted to--he can only act in imitation, not in generation. And when he got close with the Rings, it cost him everything. It's almost like he wants the power of a Vala, and loathes that he cannot attain it.
And this is why he becomes so singularly obsessed with Galadriel.
She’s his foil. They both crave power and adoration, but in the end of things, she does not fold under his temptation. She turns down everything she has ever wanted for the greater good and for the sake of her own soul. Sauron looks at Galadriel and perceives that she would have succeeded at Eönwë's test because she is willing and able to humble herself. This maddens him to the point of both desiring her and desiring to break her.
She learns that she is easily tempted and becomes strong enough to handle it (through a lot of tough love from Elrond & co.). She has to learn how to do it, but she is able to.
She grows from someone who resisted and rejected authority to someone who is trusted as an authority because of her ability to wield it wisely (see: Gil-galad allowing her to answer for him in 2x08).
In other words, she earns the trust, love, and support of her community. Sauron has to force his to comply—it is an illusion of love.
His possessive obsession with her also stems from her fairness. She was the object of her uncle Fëanor's obsessive desire for creation as well. Her hair was the inspiration of the Silmarils (see: The History of Galadriel and Celeborn; The Shibboleth of Fëanor - source with page #s here), which Morgoth desired more than anything to possess.
Sauron, wanting to spite his master, wants one better--to own that which inspired the Silmarils, to own the image of fairness (and thus of moral good) completely. This is why he wants to bind himself to her. This is why he needs her. He sees Galadriel as his mechanism of repentance, and his last triumph over Morgoth. Winning her is his salvation as much as it is proving that his will is the mightier. It is his way of dominating Morgoth. This starts, I think, as a genuine effort at proving himself to the Valar, but quickly consumes him entirely. He is overcome with the desire for revenge, just as Galadriel was at the beginning of the First Age.
And he sees this in her. Sees their similarities. Sees that she, too, is angry and lonely and so afraid of losing her power. And he leverages that to befriend her. This is where it gets ambiguous and you can read RoP as either painting the image of Sauron being earnest but completely misguided in his proposal, or you can see it as him being entirely manipulative.
I think the truth of that scene probably falls somewhere in the middle; just like when he presents himself to Eönwë, he is sincere in his desire, but only knows how to present it in an inherently contriving way. He does want to bind her to him, so he tries to only reveal to her the good aspect of that desire (and also of his desire for power, which he allows her to see because he believes that it is good and also because she understands it), and not the ugly underside of his internal struggle against Morgoth, the Valar, and himself.
And I do think, in his own way, he cared about her. Galadriel consistently shows kindness and compassion to him. In S1, they grow to know each other's minds and souls, and she considers him a close friend. He finds comfort in this, that someone could see the blackness of his heart and care for him anyway. He thought, in his isolation, that he lost that chance when he fled back to Middle-earth. And here is the very picture of the light itself telling him that she supports him, that she sees the good in him, that she wants to help him set the world to rights! Of course he is infatuated by this. Of course he also wants to use it. He is Sauron.
But Galadriel succeeds where he fails, so he stops playing nice and tries to forcibly drag her down with him. First, by baiting her with the image of the man she cared deeply for:
Then, by reminding her of all she is losing by rejecting him:
And she is still strong enough to say no. And not just to say no, but to shut the door completely. To look in the face of everything she has desired for centuries and turn it down, understanding that it will ruin her. Yes, she hesitates. Yes, she still wants it (wants him). But she wins the day by holding fast to the light that Sauron wishes so badly to bind himself to.
Because she has lost everything--her brother, her husband, the station as commander, the trust of her high king and best friend--and earns it back only through her resistance of her greatest temptation. It is a struggle, it is painful, it nearly kills her--but she does it. She wins the test that Sauron could not even bear to face.
In their headlong, self-sacrificial tendencies, they are the same. Both view themselves as fundamentally stronger/better than their peers while also being deeply lonely due to their self-imposed isolation (Galadriel's laser-focused hunt for revenge, Sauron's exile in Middle-earth). But to Galadriel, the light is more important than her pride.
For Sauron, the light is his source of pride. He desires it more than anything, but condemns himself to never being able to touch it due to his rejection of Eönwë's offer. Paradoxically, he tries to grasp at it through Galadriel, the living silmaril, and succeeds only in darkening her. We learn from Gil-galad in 2x08 that his crown piercing her flesh in an act of brutal domination nearly strips her soul from her and pitches it into the unseen world. In this, Sauron is saying: If I cannot have you, I will force you to need me. I will break you into loving me.
He says this to Celebrimbor as well. He no longer knows how to love properly. He only knows how to inflict pain until this object of his obessive desire needs him--just like how his immortal spirit was broken into submission by Morgoth. And isn't this revealing of his own sense of self? He refuses to suffer the path of light, but willingly suffers the maddening path of darkness because it is a comfortable, familiar suffering. One, he tells Celebrimbor, he even grew to enjoy (2x08). As the path of the Rings drive him madder and madder, his desire for the light (Galadriel) and the return of his power (Celebrimbor) become further disordered and corrupted until they culminate in him destroying them--and his chance at earning/owning them--entirely.
And this is Sauron's ultimate point of no return (which we will hopefully see in S3 🤞). The razing of Eregion and slaying of Celebrimbor were acts of petty rage he committed when his pride was injured. This was the final nail in the coffin. Galadriel, in her rejection of him, ruins what he sees as his true chance for redemption.
Galadriel, now stepping into the role of Eönwë, re-opens the invitation: "Heal yourself!" (2x08). But in rage and shame and stubborn pride, he turns it down again. I believe this is where his desire to heal Middle-earth shifts fundamentally into desire to dominate Middle-earth. He always wanted to rule, but now he wants to own.
#fae speaks#I spent hours pouring thru the Silm and RoP for this so if you enjoyed please let me know I'd love love love to talk about it more <33#sauron is my favorite freak in all of tolkien's lore rn I want to study him like a bug#btw this is saurondriel (and even silvergifting? if u squint) positive but with loads of nuance. i see haladriel as love and saurondriel as#possession. both are fun in fiction of course but I want to acknowledge how deeply messed up the dynamic is#but also! it's fiction! do whatever you want with it! if you want saurondriel to get a happy ending then do it <3#and send me the fic so i can read it because i'm team half-maia celebrian hehe#also if there are any glaring gaps in my knowledge of the silm pls lemme know it's been a minute since i've read it all the way through#part two will be on beauty and evil in tolkien's cosmology :)#tolkien#the silmarillion#the rings of power#rings of power#trop#rop#sauron#halbrand#annatar#galadriel#sauron x galadriel#saurondriel#haladriel#trop spoilers#trop season 2#trop meta#rop meta#rop theory#trop theory#celebrimbor#my metas
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Pairing: Nanami x GN!reader Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst CW: post death Nanami, mentions of death WC: 800
Day 5 of To Halloween with Love Event
A/N: Am I sorry that the first Nanami fic I make is angst? Nahhhh
You were shaking - so absolutely terrified of any result that would come out of your little endeavor tonight. If it didn't work then you'd just be left feeling as empty if not more so than before. If it did work then... well you didn't know what would happen but any way that this went you'd probably be left crying.
---
The last time you and Nanami spoke was over text. You waited outside the bakery that you both had wanted to go to since its opening. It's been months since the actual opening date but your schedules never aligned perfectly for anything more than a date-night-in since then.
Shifting in your clothes you leaned up against the wall. Neither of you minded if the other was ever late, things happen and at least you both would be able to spend time together no matter how small. Your phone vibrates in your pocket, must be a text from Kento letting you know he'll be there soon.
[6:48pm] Sorry, my love. Got called in. Looks like I'll be working overtime, don't wait up for me. Just get yourself something sweet on my card.
You can't deny that you felt a tinge of disappointment but more so than that you felt sad. This was one of the only nights you had off for a while and you'd both talked about how important it was to make time for each other amidst the chaos of work.
Dragging yourself back to the subway station after grabbing whatever pastry caught your eye, you try to hide the small tears that dare will themselves out of you. It really shouldn't surprise you - Nanami's job was important, you didn't understand just how important... but important enough to forgive him when it came to moments like this.
Another dinging vibration comes from your pocket,
[6:59pm] I love you so much, y/n.
And your heart pangs with hurt - a sinking feeling that overwhelms you as you step onto the crowded train car.
"Announcement: All lines bound for Shibuya station have been suspended. Please make the necessary transfers to get to your intended destination. For help please visit..."
---
And you would've said it back had you known what would happen that night. The unforgivable pain that that night and the days after would bring you. The memory of having to identify a half-burnt body lying on a metal table in front of people you know have a hand in making him go to Shibuya that night. Those colleagues and supervisors who, above all, kept a straight face as you wailed and failed to comfort you by telling you off stories about their history with Nanami that you could care less about after the death of your fiance.
But now there was a chance, however slim, of redemption. A board in front of you as you held a planchette to your heart in silent prayer that you hoped the man you'd once dreamed of calling husband could hear.
You made sure everything was perfect, even going as far as getting professional opinion on the session from a psychic - Of course ignoring the bit about never attempting to contact someone you once knew or doing the session alone. This was important enough that such a warning meant nothing in your mind.
Gathering your courage you finally placed the planchette on the board, "Nanami Kento... if you are here with me- God, I hope you are- If you are here please move the piece towards 'YES' on the board"
And you waited. Repeating yourself after 4 minutes. And then again at 3 minutes later. And once more after a full 10 minutes had passed. By now your confidence had dwindled enough to think this was a completely stupid thing to try. About to take your hands off the board the clock struck 7pm.
Your hands begin to move and for a second you think it's your subconscious trying to make up for all the sadness in your heart so that you won't fall deeper into despair and depression. "YES", it led you.
"Who is this?"
K-E-N
You couldn't handle it. Tears overcome you as your body quivers from the emotions flooding your system and you hope to whoever was on the other side of this board that this wasn't a sick game.
"Hey, K- Ken..." You sobbed between speaking, "How have you been?" And you smile weakly - In the moment forgetting procedure and letting your hands fall from the board to wipe your tears.
O-K M-Y L-O-V-E
Your eyes bulge out of your skull as the planchette moves on its own instinctively backing away speechless you gasp as you hit something behind you. A cold chill enrapturing your body.
"Lovely, I hate seeing you cry..."
A/N: Oh to be haunted by ghost Nanami... wouldn't be afraid of those peeping eyes for sureeee, this took longer for me to write because of how I wanted to approach it. Honestly could be a fic.
Please Reblog and Comment (They act as power-ups for me)
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