#the way of medicine

[great-and-small]

My grandfather and my godfather (a beloved neighbor and dear family friend) had a long standing bet- for one dollar- about who would die first. Both of them being slightly pessimistic (in the funny way), they both insisted that they themselves would be the first to die. Any time my grandfather had a health scare, he’d gleefully call up my godfather to boast that he’d be passing “any day now” and he was sure to win the bet. It was a big family joke and they were always amiably sparring and comparing notes about who was in worse shape, medically speaking.

When my grandfather was in hospice care dying of liver cancer, my godfather was quite ill also. It took him great effort to make the journey to see his dying friend. As he came into the room, supported by a family member, he shuffled to my grandpa’s bedside and silently handed him a dollar bill. He was ceding his loss of the bet, as they both knew who was going first. My grandpa had been in quite bad shape for a while and was no longer able to speak but let me tell you he snatched that dollar with unexpected strength and literally laughed aloud. He knew exactly what the gesture meant and he couldn’t help but find the humor within the grief. It was the last time any of us heard my grandpa laugh, as he passed shortly after.

When I talk about my appreciation for “dark humor” I’m not so much thinking about edgy jokes, but rather the human instinct to somehow, impossibly, both find and appreciate the absurdity that is so often folded into the profound grief of life and death. When I tell this story I think it kind of perturbs people sometimes, but it’s honestly one of my favorite memories about two men I really deeply admired. I could never hope for anything more than for my loved ones to remember me laughing until the very end, and taking joy in a little joke as one of my final acts.

[cakesandfail]

apparently the goons over on twitter are now doing "antidepressants turn your kids ace" which sounds a little too much like "vaccines cause autism" and "puberty blockers are permanent" for my liking

[canisalbus]

✦ Mom ✦

[courtofparrots]

Maybe my favorite thing about re4 remake is all the moments that feel distinctly human, in a really heartbreaking way. Like when the game makes me go ‘oh my god that’s just Some Guy in a horrific situation’

All of the Ashley moments count as this for me but I wanted to post my top 3 Leon/Luis moments because they’ve been replaying in my head for days:

1. Luis turning his head away when he thinks he’s about to witness Leon being murdered by Mendez:

This one took me a little while to notice but it feels so sad because it’s like, to me he obviously just doesn’t want to have to watch another person die for what he perceives to be a direct consequence of his actions 😭

2. The way Leon’s voice cracks on the word ‘up’ when you look at this human sacrifice situation:

It reminds me of 21 year old Leon tbh.

3. Leon’s little stumble when he tries to get up and rush to Luis when he collapses after saving Leon from Krauser (this one is so owie to me)

[filomentale]

(via AyurPrana (@liveayurprana) • Foto e video di Instagram)

[sofiaruelle]

You look sporty today! 🏀🏈⚽️

[nerdgirlnarrates]

Even though it's been months since I switched from neurosurgery to internal medicine, I still have a hard time not being angry about the training culture and particularly the sexism of neurosurgery. It wasn't the whole reason I switched, but truthfully it was a significant part of my decision.

I quickly got worn out by constantly being questioned over my family plans. Within minutes of meeting me, attendings and residents felt comfortable lecturing me on the difficulties of having children as a neurosurgeon. One attending even suggested I should ask my co-residents' permission before getting pregnant so as not to inconvenience them. I do not have children and have never indicated if I plan to have any. Truthfully, I do want children, but I would absolutely have foregone that to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than anything. But I was never asked: it was simply assumed that I would want to be a mother first. Purely because I'm a woman, my ambitions were constantly undermined, assumed to be lesser than those of my male peers. Women must want families, therefore women must be less committed. It was inconceivable that I might put my career first. It was impossible to disprove this assumption: what could I have done to demonstrate my commitment more than what I had already done by leading the interest group, taking a research year, doing a sub-I? My interest in neurosurgery would never be viewed the same way my male peers' was, no matter what I did. I would never be viewed as a neurosurgeon in the same way my male peers would be, because I, first and foremost, would be a mother. It turns out women don't even need to have children to be a mother: it is what you essentially are. You can't be allowed to pursue things that might interfere with your potential motherhood.

Furthermore, you are not trusted to know your own ambitions or what might interfere with your motherhood. I am an adult woman who has gone to medical school: I am well aware of what is required in reproduction, pregnancy, and residency, as much as one can be without experiencing it firsthand. And yet, it was always assumed that I had somehow shown up to a neurosurgery sub-I totally ignorant of the demands of the career and of pregnancy. I needed to be enlightened: always by men, often by childless men. Apparently, it was implausible that I could evaluate the situation on my own and come to a decision. I also couldn't be trusted to know what I wanted: if I said I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than a mother, I was immediately reassured I could still have a family (an interesting flip from the dire warnings issued not five minutes earlier in the conversation). People could not understand my point, which was that I didn't care. I couldn't mean that, because women are fundamentally mothers. I needed to be guided back to my true role.

Because everyone was so confident in their sexist assumptions that I was less committed, I was not offered the same training, guidance, or opportunities as the men. I didn't have projects thrown my way, I didn't get check-ins or advice on my application process, I didn't get opportunities in the OR that my male peers got, I didn't get taught. I once went two whole days on my sub-I without anyone saying a word to me. I would come to work, avoid the senior resident I was warned hated trainees, figure out which OR to go to on my own, scrub in, watch a surgery in complete silence without even the opportunity to cut a knot, then move to the next surgery. How could I possibly become a surgeon in that environment? And this is all to say nothing of the rape jokes, the advice that the best way for a woman to match is to be as hot as possible, listening to my attending advise the male med students on how to get laid, etc.

At a certain point, it became clear it would be incredibly difficult for me to become a neurosurgeon. I wouldn't get research or leadership opportunities, I wouldn't get teaching or feedback, I wouldn't get mentorship, and I wouldn't get respect. I would have to fight tooth and nail for every single piece of my training, and the prospect was just exhausting. Especially when I also really enjoyed internal medicine, where absolutely none of this was happening and I even had attendings telling me I would be good at it (something that didn't happen in neurosurgery until I quit).

I've been told I should get over this, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop being mad about how thoroughly sidelined I was for being female. I don't know how to stop being bitter that my intelligence, commitment, and work ethic meant so much less because I'm a woman. I know I made the right decision to switch to internal medicine, and it probably would have been the right decision even if there weren't all these issues with the culture of neurosurgery, but I'm still so angry about how it happened.

[uncanny-tranny]

The interesting thing about medically transitioning is how you might just be treated with the wrong framework.

When I get my hormone levels checked, for instance, they check it against the wrong type of person, so everything is flagged. Did you know that testosterone encourages hemoglobin production? Well, my hemoglobin is perfectly in line with male levels, but my levels are checked for the wrong endocrine system. Before I realized this, I was really confused as to why my hemoglobin was two grams over the range given, and was confused as to why that happened, and worried about if I should be worried about that. But it was a normal consequence of my testosterone levels, which are also flagged though they are well-within the range that is typical for my age and health categories.

The way we treat and measure for trans people and trans patients will affect the treatment and education they receive. There are ways in which hormones especially can influence how one's body operates, and with that in mind, you also have to change the way you interact with a trans person. With my testosterone levels, if you were to measure them against the incorrect endocrine system, you would fail to treat me in reality - that being the way my body has changed and maintained homeostasis since being on T.

[release-the-hound]

I hope this wave of of strikes pushes the veterinary industry to unionise. As corporations like VCA and Banfield (both owned by MARS, yes the chocolate company) continue to buy out independent clinics, the industry is shifting away independent businesses founded and owned by DVMs to corporate franchises.

Working conditions in the industry have been abysmal for years. But everyone working under the same company + significant staff shortages (in canada both DVM and RVT positions typically take 6+ months to fill according to a report by the CVMA) does provide opportunity both for community-building and an advantage for bargaining or, if necessary, striking. Staff are not easily replaced.

We all know we're being overworked and underpayed. It's time to fucking do something about it. Talk about your wages with your coworkers, make sure you're being reimbursed for overtime, see if you're getting enough vacation days. Find out what you want and take it.

Some clinics have already unionized, I hope more will soon.

[sweatermuppet]

dysphoria ever so bad you wonder why you're alive because what you want is absolutely unattainable, even if you had unlimited money or resources?

[palpunte]

3012.4 "The Menagerie, Pt. I"

[sallytwo]

AND I WANT TO BUILD A TOWER TO ALL THE NICER THINGS YOU COULD’VE BEEN.

[anonymocha]

Mesmer Jr and Medicine Pocket having beef in official arts collection (as of 1 May 2024). I hope they keep beefing for all of eternity.

[crabsnpersimmons]

have been feeling under the weather lately, so i daydreamed a silly nurse moon to take care of me

also couldn't decide which i liked better so i leave the choice to you, brave patient. which nurse will you choose?

[hummus-birb]

I made more >:D

[backpackingspace]

Anyway I love hua cheng has """kidnapped"""" xie lian fics. It's about the chaos. The shenanigans! The duality of the heavenly Court freaking out! Cut to hualian having a cute date! Jun wu mentally trying to rearrange his plans realistically sending xie lian to investigate should have disrupted their relationship why are they now getting married??? Xie lian popping in to the heavenly group chat going I'm FINE!!! Please please stop sending people to rescue me. Yes I've definitely been kidnapped let it go!!