#the way she told the story was fun idk how it actually reads so idk if i wouldve liked the writing but the story was p good

[pcktknife]

I love book people I just watched a 2 hr video of this lady talking about the plot of this fantasy novel and it was so fun it made me wanna start reading again

[williamssgirl]

❀*ੈ˖°.𖥔 ݁ casual (part ii)

you can read part one here!

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: you haven't spoken to ellie in a week, 9 missed calls and 38 texts from her, none of which you've answered, but ellie doesn't give up so easily.

warnings: smut, mdni, intimate sex, the knee thing (e!receiving), shower sex, fingering (r!receiving), switch!ellie and reader, multiple orgasms, nipple play/sucking, fluffy, reader lives in an apartment, ellie is very apologetic, barley proofread & semi-rushed and i think thats it. lmk if not.

wc: 2.9k

a/n: this was meant to be like 1.6k words so idk how we got to 35 words away from 3k but... enjoy! dt: @satellitespinner

don't buy tlou | free palestine

(1:02am) ellie

please let me explain

(1:06am) ellie

cmon please i promise it'll be worth your while

(1:07am) ellie

i have your bra among other things. let me know when you'd like me to drop them off. i'm sorry.

(1:09am) you

guess who texted again

(1:09am) olive

no way

r u gonna reply?

(1:10am) you

absolutely not

i made a fool of myself

(1:11am) olive

maybe and JUST MAYBE

reply to her and get ur closure + super sexy bra back

(1:12am) you

what the fuck olive

do you want me to die? genuine question

(1:12am) olive

LISTEN

it might help

plus she seems genuinely apologetic

why is she even apologising?

(1:14am) you

for being a dick and wanting a quick hookup?

(1:14am) olive

because she has feelings and she knows she fucked up?

(1:15am) you

😐 bye

(1:15am) olive

just reply! say sometime tmrw. it can be easy, a quick in nd out

okay?

(1:16am) you

i'll think about it

(2:03am) you

11:30, you get two minutes

(2:03am) ellie

thank you so much

(2:03am) ellie

i'll be there

nine hours later, and ellie was a mess.

you had given her permission to come over and return your bra – hell you had her jumping for fucking joy when she saw that message.

but now she had to actually talk to you, and what the hell was she supposed to say? that she was sorry? that she 'couldn't sort out her feelings?' all of which felt wrong (maybe they only felt wrong because she was staring at herself in the mirror while repeating them for three hours... who knows).

but ellie had found herself with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a plan.

a plan to win you back.

she was going to apologize, let you scream at her, and hopefully let her explain, all in the two minutes you had gratefully gifted her.

so, when she rang the doorbell to your apartment after hiking the six story stairs, she found herself staring at her old, beaten up converse. stars and hearts you had drawn all along the sides of the soles almost mocked her.

then you opened the door, and ellie couldn't look up.

useless apologies started spilling from her mouth, panicked words that meant nothing. a collection of "i'm sorry” s and a series of "please let me explain" came pouring out, that was until she grew the gall to look up at you and take you in.

her heart stopped when she did, so did her words.

you looked tired. clearly old yet comfortable clothes adorned your body, you had your arms over your stomach but they weren't crossed, you weren't mad, you could never be mad at ellie, no matter how badly you wanted to be especially in this moment.

words rushed through her head but never made it out her mouth, you were... exhausted. and she caused it, she caused all this pain you were going through. 

“oh…” she softly whispered, her stance faltering at the sight of you, not because you looked like how you did but because she was so mad at herself.

you sigh, you had made no effort to adjust your appearance or put makeup on. you told yourself it was because you had no energy to, but in reality, you wanted to show ellie how you were hurting, that she had caused this, that something fun and sweet had gone sour and at your own expense. 

“ellie, i know i look….” you remove your arms from your stomach and signal to yourself shamefully, tears almost springing from your sunken eyes at the regret you feel for not even trying to fix yourself up, “ but can i please just have my bra back?” you’ve changed your position once again so that you’re leaning up against the doorframe of your apartment, gray sleeves up by your knuckles. 

“no! no no no not at all you look… pretty. really pretty.” she breathes out hurriedly, your cheeks heat up before you spot the bouquet, and that's what makes the tears spill. because why was she here? she had never described you as pretty before, only hot or sexy, so why is she here apologising and calling you pretty if she doesnt just want a quick fuck by validating you? 

tears now evidently filled your eyes, ellie’s kind smile had now turned into one of worry and concern when she saw the tears threatening to spill from your tired eyes, moving forward to embrace you, but she hesitated. will it only make things worse for you? feeling her again? 

“can- can i touch you?” she asks gently, nerves shaking at the chance of you pushing her away for good, telling her she can keep the bra and slamming the door shut in her face. 

instead, you silently shake your head yes and grant her permission to embrace you, it was a stupid idea, really, because everything you felt, all the times she had touched you that you had so desperately been trying to shut out came flooding back and it took everything in you not to sob, the subtle stream of tears gliding down your cheeks was worse enough. you avoided her sorrowful eyes, you didn't want her to feel sorry for you, you just wanted her. 

ellie lets go of you, she’s still standing at the doorway, converse planted firmly on your ‘welcome!’ doormat, she delicately reaches to hold your cheeks and force your wandering eyes to look into her own, staring for a second, memorizing your face just in case before looping an arm around your shoulders and guiding you inside, closing the door behind the two of you with her foot, not looking back once. 

you can feel the flowers gently brush against your shoulder as she never put them in her other hand, but the feeling of them is oddly comforting. you're not sure why exactly it’s comforting, but you do however manage to notice they're your favorite. 

ellie guides you over to a kitchen counter, sitting you up on it and standing right in between your open spread legs, placing the array of flowers opposite to the two of you. you bury your head in your hands, wanting to disappear from this moment and never return. 

“hey…” she gently prys your hands away from your head, and you immediately look up to contain tears, trying your hardest nor to hit the cabinets. “i'm sorry for just welcoming myself in, i assumed you didn't want the neighbors to see you…” the auburn haired girl uneasily babbles, and the tears slow down. you sniffle, looking down at the girl who can’t seem to slow her fast paced talking, and you're not sure how to quiet her down other than placing a hand over her mouth. 

instantly, the talking stops as she looks up at you confused, you sniffle once more and she grabs your hand again to remove it from her mouth 

“you were talking a lot,” you whisper “its okay that you came in, ellie.” your voice is silky, addicting. 

“i just-” she sighs, anxiously tapping the space outside your thighs and staring at her own hands “i don’t know how i can express just how sorry i am, i fucked up. Bad. and your hurting because of it” she spills, shes not even sure if it made sense as it left her mouth, but it’s honest. 

“ellie… it was always more than just a casual thing to me,” you admit, voice getting shallower by the second “and i mean, i don’t know, i always just assumed if i kept saying i was fine with it you would realize that i was who you wanted, but now i know it isn’t true.” ellie’s face drops upon hearing your words, alarms blare in her head because of course it was never just casual to her as well, she’s not even sure why she suggested it in the first place or kept reinforcing it when she wanted everything but that. 

“i know,” she starts off with, you look down sadly, this was confirmation she didn't want to see you anymore, that you getting attached had ruined everything and there was no saving whatever you two had. “but,” she continues, you look up at her again, confused. “It was never just casual to me as well, you know? i’m not even sure why i suggested it in the first place.” she lets out a brief chuckle at the last part in hopes of clearing some of the tension around you guys. 

“but you-” 

“i know i always reminded you, i think it was because i was scared? i was so… infatuated with you and i guess i didn’t want to hurt you. i thought it was the only way.” she remorsefully confesses, and you smile, roles reversed as you gracefully grab her face and kiss her. a kiss that says everything. 

it's soft, gentle, show’s no urgency or panic. it’s natural, and ellie can feel you smiling into it, as is she. 

gently, she moves away and starts kissing down your neck, you lock your hands into her auburn and let out a sigh of content. 

“ellie…” you needily whisper. 

“yeah, baby?” she removes her mouth from your neck, grabbing your thighs and looking into your eyes. “this okay?”

“more than okay,” you confirm, “do you wanna shower with me?” your request is simple, but it makes ellie’s heart explode with excitement as she lifts you off the counter and begins to carry you over to the very familiar shower, the short walk is full of quick kisses and giggles bouncing off the walls when you finally arrive and she nearly stumbles over her own feet. 

you're quick to discard your own clothes, the anticipation building to feel ellie’s skin on your own, the girls anticipation matching yours as she hastily removes her own clothing. Flowers and bra forgotten in the kitchen when she pulls your body into the shower with her, capturing you into a needy kiss once more. she reaches behind you to turn the water on, not accounting for the fact it'll take a minute to warm up and allowing the freezing stream to harshly hit your back. you yelp, moving away quickly in shock, hearing ellie’s restrained snort from behind you. turning to face her, you slap her bicep playfully when the water begins to feel warmer 

“ellie!” you playfully scold, “that wasn't funny!” you’re trying to be serious, key word: trying, but you cant help to let your own laugh slip past your mouth as you join her in the fun. 

“‘m sorry!” she giggles, the laughter between you two dying down “i didn't think it would be that cold!” 

“yeah, well, obviously!” you attempt to splash her with the little bit of remaining cold water on your hands, but you're not quick enough. she pins your hands above your head against the wall adjacent to the stream of water, the glass becoming foggy with steam from the nearly boiling water. 

silence falls in between the two of you. no words are spoken as you move forwards wanting a kiss from the girl, but she moves back. deja vu spikes within you from that night at the bar, days before everything went down. 

she closes her eyes, leaning closer and pressing her forehead up against yours. You repeat the action, you weren't sure what she was doing, but you trusted her. 

“let’s take this slow, okay?” she utters softly, just loud enough so you could hear her over the sound of water pouring, you nod instantly. slow was good. slow meant effort.

with your agreement, she locks your lips into a kiss once again. it wasn't hasty or rough, it was soothing and steady, releasing your arms in order for her to move her own to rest on your hips, your own reaching towards her neck. 

the kiss continuous for a couple minutes, only letting go for a couple seconds at a time to catch your breaths before falling back into each other peacefully, but you were getting wetter and wetter, desperate for more than just kitten kisses on your neck, and you could tell ellie was getting wet too with her movements becoming more and more desperate and rough. 

discreetly, you slot your knee in between her legs while she's occupied with your neck. Almost immediately you can feel the grip she has on your hips become tighter, fingernails digging into the flesh as you slowly begin to move your knee, she groans, dropping her head into your shoulder, moving her hips to match the rhythm with your knee. 

“faster, please” she whimpers in your neck, busying herself again by leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your neck once more. who were you to deny such a pretty girl's request? you speed up the movement of your knee, nudging it up every now and again, removing a hand from her neck to reach down and slowly rub her clit. 

from the way she sucked harder on that spot just below your ear she knew you loved, you assumed the sensation was taken well, your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs, mixing with the water from the muffled noises she was making alone. eventually, the stimulation caught up to her, legs becoming shaky, speeding up your movements and circling her clit, forcefully removing her mouth from your neck so you could bring your head down and suck on her left nipple, and that was her tipping point. 

ellie came undone on your leg with a strangled shout of your name, legs shaking and thighs hurting as you slowed down the circles on her now sensitive nub before eventually stopping, removing the knee slotted between her legs as well as your mouth from her tit. 

“you okay?” you whisper, giving her a couple seconds to come down from her high, the water providing a warm comfort over the two of you. 

“yeah,” she breathes, coming up to give you a kiss on the lips, again, and again, making a wet noise each time, only further fueling your need for her. “more than okay, thank you.”

you smile at her, happy that she was satisfied with your work. you clench your thighs together in hopes to relieve some of the tension that had built up in your core, a move that did not go unnoticed by the dripping girl in front of you. 

“but now i think i need to take care of you, hm? would you like that?” you quickly nod your head yes, anxious to feel her touch on you once more. 

she doesn't wait to get to work on your body, lips going down to suck one of your boobs while her hand moves to roll the sensitive bud in between her fingers, almost instantly eliciting a moan from you.

quietly, she moves her hand that was previously rolling your nipple down your wet body to your core. you open your legs, she keeps her mouth on your boob, but teasing your folds as she ran her fingers through them and pinching your clit ever so slightly, causing you to squel. 

“ellie.. please…” you almost beg, desperate to feel her skilled fingers inside you already.

she presses her palm flat against your clit, ignoring your begs but making you jerk back into the ceramic wall as a small whimper falls from your mouth, ellie smirks knowing just how much of an effect she had on you. she wasn't leaving you ever again. 

lazily, she slips her middle finger into your hole, removing her mouth from your tit. the shower and your own slick providing enough lube that she didn't even have to prod at it. 

“jesus babe… you're so tight” you clench around her finger at these words, and she mindlessly adds a second one. your hands move from her neck to the steaming glass beside you, indenting your handprint through the fog as you lose control over your own body's movements. 

gradually, she begins pumping her fingers in and out of your sopping cunt, lewd and shameless moans leaving your mouth at an uncontrollable pace. she moves her thumb to your clit, pushing into it and causing as much pressure as possible, and it's not long before you cum with a yell of her name, babbling nonsense as she guides you through it. head in her neck as is hers in yours. 

“‘m so sorry” ellie continuously repeats as her fingers still work at a relentless pace inside you “i'm so so sorry, ill never do that to you again.” she moves up and bites your earlobe, continuing to pilot you through your orgasm before halting her movements completely and removing herself from your body. 

you lean back against the wall, eyes closed in content as you feel the droplets of water hit your skin, your water bill is gonna be so fucking high this month, all ellie does it look at you. admiring you in this post fucked out state. you reach your hand out, a silent request for her to take it and she does, right after turning off the stream for you. 

“that was… amazing.” you breathe out happily, she beams at the peaceful look on your face as you peel your eyes open, ellie's smile making you crack your own. 

“i'm glad,” she kisses you once more, the two of you smiling into it. 

“we’re okay?” she asks 

“we’re okay.” you confirm, and ellie has never been happier 

“how about we continue this in the bedroom?” ellie suggests, and you grab her instantly to lead her out. 

people who asked to be tagged: @a-little-bit-of-everybody ! @lmaoo-spiderman @macaroni676 @p4ison1vy @fatbootymuncher @elliessweetheart

[edsloveydove]

I Have Always Seen You

pairing: eddie munson x chubby female reader

summary: of course the boy i've known since 3rd grade, the one i've loved since 7th grade, would be the one to break my heart. i never thought he would be the one to fix it too...

warnings: bullying, fatphobia, use of the word pig towards reader once, falling off a bike, blood and cut knee from falling off said bike, self-doubt and sort of self-hate i guess, cursing, mentality that reader wouldn't be 'missed' (idk if thats a warning but just in case), no use of y/n, underage drinking, reader has an older brother for sake of the story (i gave him a really basic/common name), thoughts and flashbacks are in italics!! nickanames/pet names (shortcake, princess, honey, sweetheart), reader is at least a bit shorter than eddie, very poorly edited, talks of the demobats and upside down, again like very badly edited, lemme know if i missed anything, i'm sure i have!

word count: 9k+

notes: my first fic guys and it turned into this 9,000 word monster! wild! anyway, this might be trash i honestly don't know, i have no perception of it, pls let me know what you think!! also, this story is told in first person point of view so it uses 'i, me, myself' and all that, idk how i feel about it though tbh. uuuuh, enjoy!!

DON'T REPOST MY WRITING OR SHARE IT TO OTHER PLATFORMS (including mentioning it in tiktok comment sections and stuff like that pls) THIS IS MY WRITING, DON'T STEAL IT PLEASE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sweltering midwestern heat was hitting Hawkins, Indiana early this year. School had only been out for a few weeks and it was already hot enough to have the city pool passing the max capacity damn near every day. 

Luckily for me, I had been able to successfully avoid going every time my friends have asked me to join them. Until now. 

“C’mon, it’s gonna be so much fun! Steve’s parents are gone again, like usual, so it’ll just be us and a few other friends!” Robin tries to convince me through the phone.  

“Robin, I never believe ‘just us and a few friends’, because it is ne-”

“It’s never just a few friends, I know. But this time it really will be just a few people. Like, actually just a few people. After everything that happened during spring break and all that, Steve really just wants the main guys there. There’s not gonna be any crazy partying, we’re gonna swim and relax, that’s it.”

“I don’t know, I might be busy tomorrow,” I attempt an excuse. 

“Then we’ll move it to when you’re free. We really want you there, you haven’t gone to any of our movie nights or other hangouts yet,” Robin points out while saying my name softly. “Is it something else? Is there someone you don’t want there?” 

Robin isn’t entirely wrong, there is something else that’s keeping me from joining my friends. And technically it does have to do with someone, but not in the way she thinks. And that someone happens to be none other than the Eddie Munson. 

I’ve known Eddie for many years. My older brother was one of his best friends while growing up having met in elementary school. James was in the grade above Eddie, and the one to introduce him to D&D, eventually passing on the title of Hellfire Club President to him as well. I was always in the background, hoping my brother would let me learn how to play just so I could impress him and his friends. 

While they were occupying the basement, getting pizza and bottles of Coke every other Saturday for their stupid role-playing game, I was in my room reading trashy romance novels and out riding my bike to the library in hopes to seem cool when I came back late at night. 

By the time I got to high school, it was James’ second to last year before he went off to college in Chicago on his big-shot football scholarship he managed to snag before he was even a senior. And yes, James was a Hellfire nerd and a star-athlete, so no one messed with their little club while he was there. Eddie was in his sophomore year, already antsy to graduate and move on to greater things. 

I was just the outcast that didn’t even have a group. It didn’t matter that I was the captain of the football team’s little sister, I never made any friends because I never tried to. 

Needless to say, yeah, Eddie and I had some history and maybe things got brought up when Vecna was trying to take over the world that might have been better left untouched. And maybe the idea of seeing him again brings butterflies to my stomach while also making my gut sink. 

“No, it's not that. I just…I guess I just haven’t been feeling it since…since yanno,” I say, half heartedly. 

Robin voices her understanding and tells me to just call back when I make a decision on if I would go or not. I promise her I will and hang up the phone. It’s not like I didn’t want to see them, because truly I did but it also wasn’t a complete lie when I told her I hadn’t been feeling quite right since the Venca situation. 

It was a really traumatic and horrible experience for everyone involved, and really astonishing that everyone made it out alive. 

‘Maybe I should just go…but what if it’s horrible? I know none of my lovely friends would ever say anything to me about it, but I just can’t stand the thought of them seeing me in a swimsuit, especially Eddie.’ I shake my head at the thought. ‘What a stupid thing to think, god, we all nearly died and I’m worried about my stomach in a swimsuit, how shallow is that? I guess some things just never change, no matter the life threatening situation…’

I go about my nighttime routine, washing my face and making sure no lights have been left on around the house. I say goodnight to my mother and fall right asleep. Or, I try to at least. 

But my mind keeps me up for much longer than I would have hoped. 

‘It would be a good time, though. Have a couple of beers, spend the night in one of Steve’s nice guest bedrooms. I wouldn’t even have to swim, I could just say I’m on my period or something. Ugh, but Robin knows that I always swam even on my period when we were younger. I’ll just wear a suit under my clothes and pretend the water is too cold even though it’s the peak of summer? Yeah, that should work. I can’t imagine anyone will care that much anyway if I’m not in the pool with them. I really do miss my friends.’

~ 

The next morning I call Robin and tell her I’ll be there tonight. She squeals in delight and tells me how happy she’ll be to see me.

Now it was just time to pick out an outfit, should be simple enough, right? 

Well, after leaving it to the last second and now only having about 15 minutes to get to Steve’s when it’s already a five minute drive, having half of my closet strewn about my room doesn’t seem like a very good place to be at. 

I finally sigh and opt for a swim suit from the summer before that I never wore, a green one piece with a wrapped sort of style for the top portion, and black cut off shorts and an old t-shirt that fits comfortably loose over it. 

I grab my keys and kiss my mother on the forehead, reminding her I wouldn’t be back till the next morning. 

Several shouts of my name reach my ears once I reach Steve’s backyard, it does bring a small smile to my face knowing I’ve been missed just as much as I’ve missed them. 

“You’re actually here, I’m so happy to see you!” Nancy says pulling me in for a hug, Robin joining on top, squishing us all together. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know it’s been a while. I’m sorry.” 

“No, you don’t have to be sorry, it’s been a really hard year,” Nancy says sincerely. 

Steve comes up for a hug next, squishing me for dear life, I could feel him about to try to lift me up and spin me around so I pull away rather abruptly. 

“Alright, alright, it’s nice to see you, too, Steve.”

He answers with a kiss to the cheek and makes me promise that I’ll come to the next hangout and every one after that. I see Jonathan and he waves with a small awkward smile. 

Finally my eyes meet Eddie’s. 

~

“James! James! C’mon, come outside and play with me!” It was nearing the end of summer before James would go back to school for his 8th grade year and I would be going into 6th grade. 

“Not right now, can’t you see that I’m busy? I’m too old to play outside anyway,” my brother rolls his eyes. 

I hop down the stairs so I can see the basement fully now. Spotting all of my brother's friends huddled around our dinky old card table while he has books and notepads sprawled on his end. 

“Well, can I at least play your game with you guys? I’m sure I can learn it fast!” I beam, faking confidence in hopes to sway them. 

“No offense, shortcake, but it’s probably too confusing for you. Besides, we’re right in the middle of a campaign, it would be too hard to add in another character out of the blue right now,” Eddie says with a chuckle, like the idea that I could play is too amusing to even consider. 

Naturally, I take full offense. 

“Fine! You’re all so annoying, I didn’t even want to play with you anyway. Especially not with someone who has a buzzcut!” I stick my tongue out at them and run away, but not before I can hear them laughing. 

Sitting alone in my room I know it was childish of me, especially for my age. James was probably right, he was too old to be outside playing tag with his sister. I was too old to be throwing a tantrum like this over some friends wanting to spend time with each other without one’s little sister hanging around. 

~

“Hey, Munson.” 

Eddie nods his head in greeting and goes back to talking with Jonathan. Well, that’s honestly about as much interaction as I expected to get from him tonight. 

“Alright, let’s get this party started!” Robin exclaims, dragging you toward the cooler filled with ice and drinks, I grab a Sprite to start with. 

2 hours later and my Sprite is still mostly untouched and it’s now gone lukewarm. The others are in the pool splashing and playing chicken, I sit on the side with my feet dangling into the shallow end, watching as they fool around and laugh. Giggles and quiet laughs leave my lips on occasion with them. 

“You should get in, the water’s really nice!” Nancy says. 

“Yeah! Strip for us and get in here,” Robin adds, making everyone laugh. 

“You guys just want to get me out of my clothes, don’t you?” I play it off, shaking my head slightly. Giggles erupt again. I excuse myself to the bathroom after pulling my legs out of the pool. 

Closing and locking the door behind me I look at myself in the mirror.

‘I should just get in the pool, shouldn’t I? I do feel like I’m missing out on what could be a lot of fun. And it wouldn’t hurt to wash all this sweat off of me. I could just keep my shirt on, I have an extra change of clothes as backup anyway.’ 

I finish my business and leave the bathroom. 

After turning the corner to go back to the pool I run straight into something firm, nearly being toppled over before hands are at my forearms to keep me from doing so. Seeing dark curls fanning across this “something’s” shoulders and several patches of dark ink on its bare skin, I immediately know I have just run head first into Eddie. Great. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” I murmur, keeping my eyes pointed down. 

“It’s alright, shortcake. No harm done right?” he says, adjusting his head to try to catch my eyes. 

I nod my head and pull away from his hands that still rest gently on my arms. 

“Hey, hey, what’s up? You’re so quiet tonight, is everything okay?” 

I nod again and pull away harder, rushing out the door to get back to the pool, ignoring his call of my name and a request to “just hold on a second.” 

Pulling my shorts off quickly, I step up to the pool and begin to wade into the water before Robin stops me. 

“Your shirt! You don’t want the chlorine to ruin it!” 

My heart thumps, thinking of how I can handle this. My mouth opens to say something but before I can, Robin cuts me off. 

“Just take it off, no one’s gonna make fun of you for being in your swimsuit and if they do I’ll beat them up for you and then we’ll all collectively agree to throw them out of the group. And don’t try to tell me that’s not what it is, I can see it all over your face. You’re allowed to have fun and go swimming, I don’t like to see you excluding yourself, no matter the reason,” she says. 

Of course she would see right through any lie I could throw her way. That’s just how Robin is. No matter how clumsy she can be, she really is observant. Not only that, but she’s right. Nobody cares and if they do, that’s their problem. 

I rip off my shirt and dive into the pool trying to minimize the time in which people could see me without it. Immediately finding Steve’s legs I yank his ankles so he falls backwards into the water with an unnecessarily loud screech. 

It makes the rest of us laugh loudly until Steve comes back up for air with a thirst for vengeance. He chases me around the pool, not for long considering he’s such a strong swimmer and I’m really not trying very hard to get away from him, and catches me easily. His arms wrap around my waist and I cringe as his hands nudge my stomach, scolding myself for the action right after. Steve doesn’t care about my stomach, if he did, he wouldn’t be my friend. 

“That really wasn’t very nice,” Steve says and starts lifting me out of the water. 

“Steve, hey. Steve! Steve, no, I’m too heavy! Stevie, no! Bad Stevie! Bad!”

I’m thrown in the air as far as he can get me and I splash back down. 

I come up spluttering for breath, “Oh, you are so dead, Harrington!” 

All at once the rest of us are splashing and dunking him over and over, until he pleads mercy. Shrieks and squeals of glee and what might be considered laughter fill the air as everyone gets their turn being thrown into the water. 

Eddie comes back out from the house and cannonballs in the middle of our ‘hate on Steve’ fest. 

Eventually I end up back on the side of the pool in my shirt with just my feet in, this time so I can enjoy a fresh soda and mellow out a little, not to make myself smaller. Nancy and Jonathan have called it a night already, leaving Steve, Eddie, and Robin in or by the pool with me. 

“I never noticed this scar? Where did you get it?” Robin points to my knee. 

~ 

The nice old librarian put a hand on my shoulder gently to get my attention, telling me the library would be closing soon and it was best I head home, I hadn’t realized how late it already was. I pack everything together as fast as I can, quickly saying goodnight and unlocking my bike, trying my hardest to race home before the sun sets. 

The wheels of my rickety bicycle pump faster and faster and in my haste I bump over a high curb without realizing, flying off and onto the pavement. 

Tears spring to my eyes as air is sucked in through my teeth. I take a look at my knee and see a small dribble of blood seeping down it, my hands have little scrapes all over, spotted with little beads of red. 

Not the worst I could have gotten from a bike incident, but bad enough to keep me from being able to ride the rest of the way home. It’s not far, but so much for getting back before the street lights turn on. 

About 15 minutes later I make it into our backyard, dropping the two wheeled contraption from hell into the grass and stumbling through the door, all while sniffling back sobs. 

“Oh hey, shortcake! James was starting to get worried about you, you really shouldn’t walk alone at night yanno? Next time ju-” Eddie cuts himself off after seeing the state I’m in. Of course he had to be the one to see me like this. Anyone else could have been sent on snack duty tonight, but it just had to be him. 

“Oh my god, what happened?” He walks up to me. 

I shrug my shoulders and look away. I catch a glimpse of how bad my knees and hands have gotten on the walk home. Blood drips down both knees, my left knee looking significantly worse than the right. Dirt and pebbles cover my palms along with streaks of crimson. 

“Don’t do that, sweetheart. Tell me what happened? Please?” 

I still don’t say anything, fresh, hot tears welling up and already spilling out. I refuse to let stupid Eddie Munson see me like this, all it would be is more leverage to make fun of me with. 

He pulls my hand gently until I’m sitting down. Eddie appears in front of me with a first aid kit a few seconds later, carefully cleaning the gashes on my knees and scrapes on my hands with alcohol wipes. 

“Did,” he lets out a shuddering breath, “Did someone hurt you?” 

“No, god no Eddie, I just-, god this is so embarrassing, I just fell off of my bike is all,” I mutter, not really wanting him to hear the words as they come out. 

“S’ not embarrassing, stuff like that happens. I just wish you would have told me, here I was thinking the boys and I were going to have to band together to cause hell for our favorite little goblin,” he says. 

“You’re just trying to make me feel better, you guys wouldn’t really do that, I guess James might. Most of you guys don’t even really like me that much anyway, you don’t have to lie,” I whisper.

“That’s not true! Of course we would stick up for you!” he says like he’s shocked that I would think the opposite. 

I just shrug my shoulders again and wipe my eyes, still avoiding looking him in the face. 

“Here, let me help you up to your room. That can’t feel good to walk on,” he pulls me up from the chair and goes to lift me into his arms. I jump out of his reach before he can. 

“It’s okay, I got it. Just- you better get back downstairs before they start worrying. I’ll take care of myself.” 

“What? No, you’re basically limping just standing here, shortcake, let me carry you, it’ll only take a minute?” He phrases it like a question. Asking but also sort of demanding. 

The idea is actually really nice, and I want to say yes to it. It would be like when the prince finally gets the princess in all those books I’ve read. Eddie could sweep me off of my feet and whisk me away. 

But I know better, I know that he wouldn’t be able to lift me. Even if he could he wouldn’t so much as glance at me, again, I’m just his friend's little sister. Here only because this is where she lives. 

“No thank you, I’m okay. Go ahead and go back to your game, I’m sure they miss you already. Nobody would even notice if I were gone, but they’ll practically riot without you,” I try to cover how deeply I believe those words with a laugh as I wobble away and halfway up the stairs before he can stop me. 

~

“Um, I guess I don’t really remember. It’s probably just one of those super old scars you forget are even there,” I say, even though I recall the night I got it vividly. 

Eddie’s eyes meet mine from the other side of the pool and they look almost…hurt at the possibility that I might not remember that day. Well, he didn’t get to feel hurt about it. He made it clear that he doesn’t care how I feel when we were in the upside down. 

“Hmmm, yeah, I have, like, tons of those actually,” Robin says, “This one is from my cat, Steven, and this one-” 

“You have a cat named Steven?” I cut her off. She gives me a look that says ‘duh’. 

“But what about Steve? Like human Steve? Was this before or after you became friends? And how has this never come up before?” I practically shriek. 

“Believe me, it has come up before. And yes, before she tells you otherwise, it was after we became friends,” Steve says, settling down beside me while throwing his arm around my shoulders. 

“That is not true! I found him outside the mall before we became friends! We may have been working together at that point, but we were not friends yet!” Robin shouts. 

“We were friends, she’s just embarrassed that she named her cat after me,” Steve whispers in my ear, making me giggle like a schoolgirl. 

Even though I’ve never seen Steve romantically, he still had the ability to reduce me to feet kicking and hair twirling. 

“What’s wrong with you, Munson?” Steve asks, noticing the scowl covering his face that usually carries a bright smile. 

Eddie shakes his head, “Nothing man, just thinking about how I don’t have a beer in my hand right now.” 

~ 

A call of my name breaks my gaze away from the mirror. 

“You almost ready? It’s time to go!” James yells, entering my room. “Hey! You look great! It almost feels like I’m sending you off to prom already,” he says wiping fake tears from his cheeks. 

I shove him in the chest and readjust my hair and the straps to my dress for what feels like the millionth time. It was a rather simple looking thing considering I had to sew it myself since the only dresses even near my size were too far out of theme for the 8th grade Winter Snowball or they were simply just ugly. 

Light blue and white fabric lays delicately across my shoulders and down to my knees, matched with white slip on shoes and silver snowflake jewelry. 

“You look really nice, seriously. I know how nervous you are, but it’s gonna be okay, I promise,” my brother assures me, slapping my shoulder much harder than necessary to push me towards the door, “Now it’s time to get your butt moving, let’s go!” 

When we arrive at the dance I immediately catch eyes with Robin and speed walk to her. James goes wherever he's needed for volunteering. 

After about 45 minutes the first slow song of the night comes on as I sit contently by myself at the far end of the bleachers. I wasn’t sad to not be dancing with anyone, I was honestly sort of relieved that I hadn’t had to dance all night. But watching all the couples on the dance floor does make my heart ache just a little. 

“I haven’t seen you dance all night, what’s that about?” 

“Why are you here?” 

“Ouch, shortcake, I don’t even get a hello? And what, I can’t come volunteer with your brother?” Eddie says, fake hurt painting his face. 

“It just doesn’t seem like you, I guess.” 

He sits down next to me leaving at least enough room for another person to sit between us. He hands me an unopened juice box. 

“Seriously though, why aren’t you out there? You don’t have someone you wanna get cozied up with on the dancefloor?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me in his typical annoying Eddie way. 

I roll my eyes, as my stomach twists with shame. He’s mocking me, isn’t he? 

“Nope. I’m okay with it though. Honestly I was perfectly happy just sitting here. Until you showed up that is,” I say with a shrug. 

“Oh really? Well, gosh, who made you such a sour fart?” he laughs as I push him in the arm. 

“Alright, c’mon then. Pity party is over, let's go do this,” Eddie holds out his hand and raises a brow when all I do is look at it confused. “Let’s go dance, shortcake, you should at least once before it’s over.” 

“Um- I-” I’m at a loss for words. There’s no way he’s being anything but friendly but my stupid heart skips too many beats to count. 

“Here, I need to go check on James and see how the other volunteers are doing. While I take care of that, I want you to sit here and decide if you want to dance with me or not. Of course, I won’t make you do anything you don’t wanna, but if you’re up for it, I’m here,” he says, bouncing back to the drinks and snacks table. I smile giddily at his back and stay sitting. 

By the time the last song of the night played I was still in the exact same spot I had been for nearly 2 hours, waiting for Eddie to come back. 

Immediately after he left, I knew I wanted to dance with him. Of course I would. I’ve known him since I was in 4th grade and have had a crush on him for a year now. All I had to do was wait a few minutes and I would get to live out a fairytale dream. Dancing across the room in a flowey dress with the guy I liked. Of course it would be strictly platonic on his end but it could mean something more to me silently. 

So there I sat, with my empty juice box, tapping my foot in excitement. The first slow song ended and there was no sign of Eddie, but I was sure he just caught up with volunteer work. After the next 3 songs played I began to doubt myself slightly. 

‘Maybe he hadn’t actually wanted to dance like it had seemed. But he looked really sincere when asking me. Yeah. And even if Eddie is just a regular teenage boy, and he can definitely be a jerk sometimes, he’s much sweeter and kinder than most. He wouldn’t leave me hanging like that. He’ll be back any minute now, I’m sure.’ 

By the time 11 more songs had played, I knew he wasn’t coming back. Tears were smearing my mascara while I sat as still as possible on the bleachers, not wanting to draw any attention to myself.  

Of course he wasn’t being serious. He just wanted to tease me like usual, the only difference was this time it went too far. This time he was cruel about it. He could have just told me he didn’t mean it. Instead he strung me along and had me sitting here like a lovesick puppy for an hour straight. 

Who was I kidding? Eddie couldn’t be interested in me. He was my brother's best friend and had seen me grow up. I was just his friend’s chubby little sister. Wearing a dress that doesn’t sparkle and shine like all the others’, sitting alone and pouting like a baby. 

He probably thought I would crush his feet if I accidentally stepped on them. 

After persevering through another hour of horror, James finds me in my corner ready to head home. 

“All ready to go?” he asks jovially like he always seems to be. 

“Yes.” 

James picks up on my mood right away, but I’m already halfway to the car before he can say anything. 

“Okay, uh, I gotta clean up some stuff still but here,” he throws me his car keys when I turn back around, “Go get the car started yeah?” 

I nod and head out to the car when I see Eddie jogging up to the doors after me. My steps speed up hoping for all hell to avoid him. He calls my name but I don’t look back or slow down, in fact, the only thing it succeeds in doing is making me walk faster. 

My hands shake as I try to slip the key into the driver’s side door handle. Warm hands settle on my wrists. 

“Holy shit, I am so sorry, shortcake. I was so excited to dance with you, I really was, I just got caught up in helping another volunteer with something and lost track of time. I didn’t mean to forget you there all alone, I swear on everything. I know how excited you were for tonight and I am so sorry. I didn’t realize how long I had been gone until everyone started leaving and then I saw you get up and realized what I’d done, please forgive me,” he rambles off almost too quickly to understand. 

I expect tears but all I get is a deep rooted feeling of shame and anger. Ashamed by the fact that I thought he would come back and angry at myself for sitting there hopelessly when I could’ve danced with Robin at least. 

“Please, look at me. Please tell me you at least got to dance with someone else, right? You had a good time? Please tell me you at least had fun,” he pleads. 

A scoff escapes me as I whirl on him. 

“No, I didn’t dance with someone else, I sat there and I waited for you. I waited for you the whole time, and I guess that was my first mistake wasn’t it, huh? I believed you. I really thought you meant what you said to me.” 

I rip my arms out of hold. 

“You know what’s funny, too? I was actually having a really good time before you showed up. I told you as much earlier, even. I was perfectly happy to sit by myself, considering that’s how I spend most of my time anyway. I was really enjoying just watching the lights and the twirl of dresses, alone. I was overjoyed to just sit and watch Robin dance with her friends. And you had to come and- and lie to me! You made me feel special for fuck’s sake.” 

His eyes flash with guilt and he must have finally realized how much he hurt me. 

“I get that I’m not the prettiest and skinniest girl and I know that most of those kids don’t even know my name, but you do! You know me. You know me and you still forgot about me,” I pause and take a deep breath, “Do you remember what I said that night when I fell off my bike?” 

Eddie shakes his head.

“Nobody would even notice if I were gone. Nobody, not even you, I guess. You forgot about me not even 5 minutes after making me feel like the most special girl in that whole damn room. And that was really mean, Eddie. I hope you, at least, have a good rest of your night,” I step into the car and start the engine.

~ 

Steve plops down next to me holding 4 cans of beer, one for each of us. 

“I’m really happy I came tonight, thank you, for inviting me and not forgetting about me after I kinda disappeared,” I say quietly. 

Steve pats my back while Robin says something along the lines of ‘duh, of course we would never forget about you.’ 

Eddie stays silent, watching me closely. 

I put my drink on the ground beside me and lay on my back, pulling my shirt down to make sure it covers me still. I start to count the stars, just to keep my brain occupied. My eyes drift shut, my mind choosing to visit yet another memory tonight.  

~ 

It was James’ graduation party. All we had were a couple tables set up with snacks in the backyard and a bonfire, nothing too fancy. I made a simple ‘Happy Graduation!’ banner to hang across the gate for everyone to see, too. 

I’m wearing a plain white sundress and converse, I knew I would be running back and forth from the backyard and the kitchen too much for heels to be sensible. Making sure there’s enough drinks and food and ice for everyone was my job tonight. The sun is still up, melting the ice and warming every drink out here. 

James calls my name softly, “You can quit running around and tending to every little need. Come hang out with everyone for a little bit. Please?” 

I set down the metal tub where drinks are kept and walk over to sit around the fire with him and his usual friends. New faces have popped up over the years, but many stayed the same. Danny Williams, a junior who may or may not have been my first kiss when we happened to both show up at the same party and ended up playing spin the bottle together, Jason Carver, a freshman who appeared promising on the football team before switching to basketball instead, Michael Brown, a senior who’s been in the little Hellfire Group since the beginning. There are several others I don’t recognize and even more that I do. 

Of course, Eddie is there too. I just haven’t really…acknowledged him in…in a really long time. 

I haven’t necessarily been giving him the silent treatment, but I stopped entertaining the conversations he always seemed to start with me. 

Danny greets me with a smile as he sits down next to me. He even pulls his lawn chair a little closer towards mine, grinning slightly while doing so. 

“What can I do for you Danny?” I say. 

“Oh nothing. I just wanted to come sit by you, is all.” Huh. That…that sort of stumps me. 

I didn’t think Danny would even recognize me at the party, and I’m honestly even more surprised that he wanted to talk to me after kissing me. We make small conversation, butting into the rest of the group's discussion once in a while to add an opinion. 

Night had fallen and marshmallows and graham crackers were brought out for s'mores, as well as a couple of 12 packs of beer that someone had brought with them. 

I knew James had gone to several parties to celebrate winning a football game where there had been alcohol, or even just little get-togethers where it was provided. I guess now that it was only soon-to-be seniors and high school graduates, minus myself, left at the party it was time for that portion of the night to begin. 

I stand up to go in and let the others have their fun. 

“Where’re you going?” Danny asks, grabbing my hand lightly, looking up with wide puppy dog eyes. His eyes are a pretty green color. Brown eyes have always been my favorite, though. 

“Oh, I was just going to head in and call it a night. That way you all could have your fun without worrying about me dragging you down.” 

My comment makes his brows furrow, his mouth opens to say something, but he’s cut off. 

“You can stay out here, you know. No one minds having you here and I’m sure dear old James doesn’t care if you partake in a little drink, do you?” Eddie states. When did he get so close to us? 

“Even if I did care she gets to do what she wants, man. As long as you're safe about it, go for it,” James says, patting my back and taking one for himself. 

I’ve never drank before, but what the hell? James was leaving in just a few weeks now and this might be my only chance to try it. It’s certainly one of my last chances to hang out with everyone like this, at least for a while. 

After just 2 cans my tongue had already loosened significantly. Danny and I had been talking and giggling the whole time until he had gotten up to go home since his designated driver was ready to leave. 

“So, you and Danny seem pretty close suddenly?” Eddie phrases it like a question, wanting more information on the subject. 

Usually I would just hum in what could be taken as agreement or disinterest but my mind was running a little slower than normal. 

“Yeah, he and I kinda ran into each other at a party that I kinda crashed with Robin and we ended up, like, kissing and stuff,” I giggled. “But shhhh, don’t tell anyone else.”  

Eddie’s eyes widened, but that could have been a trick of the light. 

“What, uh, what do you mean by ‘and stuff’?” 

“Oh nothing. We just had one teensy tiny kiss because we were playing spin the bottle,” I say, not really thinking about it. 

Now I really know my brain is playing tricks on me because for a second I think Eddie looks pleased with this new knowledge that it didn’t really mean anything. 

“I feel like we haven’t really talked in a long time. What’s, uh, what’s been up, lately?” 

The question itself is awkward, but the way he struggled through it made it even more awkward. 

“I’ve been regular old me, Eddie. Nothing new or exciting. Although I did finish a book last night that really threw me through a loop. Oh! Actually there is something exciting! Do you wanna hear it?” 

He smiles, “Of course I do, shortcake.” 

“Well,” I take another sip of what is now my third beer, “William Gillar and Stacy Johnson have finally graduated!” I let out a squeal. 

Eddie just looks at me confused. 

“Do you have any idea what this means, Eds? I am finally free of those two asshats for the rest of my high school experience! Isn’t that amazing! I mean, it was easier to ignore this year than last year, but god I am so thrilled! No more mean notes from them calling me a pig in my locker and book bag, I can even finally find a table to sit at for lunch instead of hiding in Mr. Steerwell’s class,” I sigh happily. 

“Do you wanna know what else they did? This is so silly! They used to catch me on my walk home from school and steal my library books. How stupid is that? Why would you steal someone’s library books, right? They would run around with it so I would chase after them and then laugh at how my body would jiggle. How funny, right? I am so happy they’re gone, Eds, you have no idea.” 

Eddie has his mouth halfway open, anger flaring in his eyes. But that couldn’t be right, why would he care about a couple of high school bullies. 

“No, that’s not funny or silly. That’s been going on this whole time? And you didn’t tell anyone? God, why wouldn’t you tell someone, sweetheart? That’s horrible,” he says. 

“Meh, it’s just normal high school bully stuff.” I wave my hand in dismissal. 

“No, it’s not. Bullying shouldn’t even be considered normal anyway, but what they did to you? That goes far beyond normal, shortcake. I wish you would have said something. You know James and I would’ve taken care of them for you, right?” 

“Well, it doesn’t really matter now, does it. It’s too late,” I dismiss him and his misplaced worry. Honestly, it was nothing I couldn’t handle. He must have sensed how much I didn’t want to talk about it anymore because he dropped it. 

The night moves quickly after that, people say their goodbyes as James takes over clean up duty, considering I can barely stand up without nearly falling asleep. 

“Eddie, will you take her in and make sure she gets into bed okay?” James asks. 

That’s how I find myself being semi-dragged up the stairs to my bedroom and thrown on the mattress like a sack of potatoes. I don’t think Eddie was half as rough as my brain made it seem, to be honest. 

“Eds?” I whisper looking down at Eddie who’s kneeling by feet, gently taking my shoes off. 

“Yeah?” 

A couple beats of silence pass where I try to figure out how to word what I’m thinking. 

“I forgive you.” His movements stop. “I hope you know that. It’s probably such a silly little thing to even remember but I forgive you for forgetting to dance with me. I probably would have forgotten me, too. And…and I am sorry. I really am, for pushing you away so hard after. It was really stupid of me and I wish I hadn’t. Robin is a good friend, but you’re kind of the closest thing I’ve ever had to a best friend, I think. And I threw that all away over hurt feelings. Puberty, am I right?” I giggle. 

“S’ not silly to remember that. And you weren’t being stupid, sweetheart. You were hurt, you were protecting yourself and I don’t blame you for that. I should never have even walked away from you that night, but I did. And I don’t deserve your forgiveness for it,” Eddie says. 

More words mumble out of his mouth but none of it registers. Soon the noise stops and I feel Eddie’s warm hands pull my shoes all the way off, pushing my legs onto the bed and turning me to lay comfortably on my stomach. 

He must remember that’s my favorite way to sleep. 

My mind must really hate me because I swear, right before I fall asleep, I feel lips pressing gently to my forehead while a guitar calloused hand pushes hair away from my eyes. 

Of course, that didn’t actually happen because that’s not something Eddie would do. Right? Yeah, he wouldn’t…

~ 

A timid shake to my shoulder pulls me from my dozing. 

“Hey, shortcake, it’s time for you to go in.” 

There’s only one person who’s ever called me by that nickname. 

“Hm, it’s been a while since you’ve called me that…Eds.” 

I don’t know what made me decide to use his nickname. It never seemed right to use it after we drifted so far apart when James left. 

Eddie helps pull me to my feet. 

‘Hmmm, he’s always been a lot stronger than he looks. I barely even lifted myself up for him.’ 

“Oh, now you wanna be all friendly again? Using a nickname and everything? What’s this all about, huh?” Eddie says, steadying me with his calloused hands when my legs wobble.   

My brows furrow, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Earlier, when we were in the house. You practically ran away from me. I mean, it’s just that we…we haven’t seen each other since we went into the upside down. I thought maybe,” he lets out a long breath. “Maybe things had changed or something, I guess. I was hoping we could talk about it after we all got out but you’ve been avoiding everyone.” 

“And why is that? Why do you think things would have changed Eddie?” 

~

“No! No, no, no! Edward Munson, if you cut that rope, so help me god!” 

“You know I always love when you use my full name.” 

And the bastard cuts the rope. 

The next thing I know, he’s out of the trailer doing something entirely too heroic and the exact amount of stupid he always is. 

Before I can think I shove Dustin out of the trailer, the one not in the upside down, and send him to go help Lucas. 

“No! We need to help him! Can’t you see that he needs help!” 

“I know Dustin, I know. That’s why I’m staying here. But I need you to go find Lucas and Erica and check on Max. There are others who still need our help, Henderson. Please, listen to me and go help them.” 

I turn back into the trailer before he can disagree again, locking the door to make sure he doesn’t follow. Without second guessing, I jump through the portal, landing somewhat safely on my side. 

I manage to find a bike and just a few minutes later I’m riding as fast as I can towards the bat tornado that Eddie stands in the middle of. 

“Eddie you dumb jerk, you better not be getting yourself killed!” I scream at the top of my lungs. His eyes catch mine as a look of horror crosses his face. 

“Why the hell did you follow me? I specifically told you not to!” 

“Yeah, well I specifically told you not to cut the rope!” 

We fight off the bats as best we can until they all suddenly drop to the ground. 

Eddie and I stand breathing hard, our brains trying to catch up with all of what just happened. Eddie turns to me, a grin beginning to form. 

I punch him as hard as I can in the chest. And then I do it again, and then again and again, until I’m pounding my fists against his chest over and over again. 

“What the hell?! Honey, stop, you’re gonna hurt yourself!” 

I choke on hiccupping sobs as hot tears overflow past my lashes. 

“Don’t you ever do something like that again! Ever!” 

Eddie grabs my wrists to keep me from hitting him anymore. I keep trying until I realize his hold on me is too strong. 

“Princess, you gotta stop. I don’t want to see you hurt anymore, please stop.” 

He wraps his arms around me, stroking the back of my hair, pressing soft kisses to my forehead. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay. We’re okay, I promise.” 

“That was not okay, Eddie. Not okay!” I tell him looking up into his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I really am. But look, we did it!” 

He looks down at me thoughtfully. His eyes flit down to my lips. My breath catches. 

He couldn’t possibly be… 

His lips are on mine. And Eddie Munson is kissing me. 

Both of his hands are on the side of my face, rubbing his thumbs softly across the apples of my chubby cheeks. 

I pull away, “What do you think you’re doing?” 

“Kissing my shortcake,” he says with a smirk while I grimace at the phrase. He laughs at the face I make and kisses me again. 

I kiss back harder this time, getting lost in all things Eddie. The way his hair feels soft even despite being so dirty. His lips are somehow minty. He smells like smoke and old books. 

My heart soars. This has to be proof, then. Eddie must think of me the way I think of him. I can’t imagine ever kissing someone with this much passion if it didn’t mean something more. I smile into the kiss.

Footsteps sound behind where we stand and Eddie pushes me off of him, placing several feet between us. I look at him confused and hurt by his sudden change in behavior. He refuses to meet my eyes. He even wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, looking straight ahead at Steve, Robin and Nancy appearing in front of us. 

Oh.

He’s too embarrassed to let his new friends see him with the big girl? Is that what it is? Does he suddenly regret kissing me? Was it just a heat of the moment type of deal, then? I was the closest human thing, so he settled on me for a little ‘yay the world didn’t end’ kiss?

In my whole life, I don’t think anything has hurt as much as that did. 

~

An uncomfortable amount of silence fills the air.. 

“Things got weird after James left, but you know that. We both felt it, even though we tried to ignore it. Jason started to act like he ran the damn school even though we were friends at one point. I never saw you because we were never at your house anymore. Then I got held back and we basically had every class together. Then I got held back again and you graduated. I missed you. I really, really missed you,” he says the last part quietly. Almost like he was afraid for me to hear it. I hold back a scoff.

“I missed you so much, it’s ridiculous. I just wanted my shortcake back. My sweetheart, my princess, my honey,” he laughs to himself, I stay quiet. “God, I was such a jerk to you growing up. And not because ‘I had a crush on you’ because that’s bullshit, guys shouldn’t be allowed to be mean to girls with the excuse of it being ‘romantic’. I wish I had treated you better, been a little friendlier. I never realized how much you meant to me until your brother’s graduation.” 

He takes his eyes away from his feet to glance at me. 

“Do you remember that night? It was your first time drinking and you got so sleepy I had to tuck you into bed. You had told me about you and Danny at that party and it made me jealous. I’d never really felt jealous before, certainly not like that at least. It made me realize how deep my feelings for you went.” 

I remain silent, partly because I didn’t want to interrupt him when this is the most honest and vulnerable he’s ever been, out of respect, and partly because I was utterly confused and angered by what he was saying and claiming.

“You forgave me for leaving you alone at the dance, even though I never deserved to be forgiven for that. I didn’t even know how badly you were being bullied at school until you told me, that’s not a person who deserves to be forgiven.” 

A soft laugh and a pause. “I guess what I’m saying is…is I wish things had, in fact, changed after Vecna. And I know, that’s probably not something you want to hear because I know it’s not the same for you but I figure if you’re not gonna talk to me anyway, I may as well tell you, right?” 

He takes a step towards the house but I don’t let him get far. 

“What do you mean it’s ‘not the same for me’?” 

“Well obviously you’ve been ignoring me since I kissed you so, clearly it wasn’t something you wanted.” He shrugs his shoulders. “And that’s okay. I’m not saying you have to be with me or anything, I’m just saying…I don’t know what I’m saying.” 

“I’ve been ignoring you?” I ask, dumbfounded by his idiocy. 

“Well, yeah. You haven’t even been answering the walkie.” 

“And you think that was because I didn’t want to kiss you? Not because, oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that the second Nance and the others showed up you shoved me away from you? It couldn’t have been because it was obvious you couldn’t stand the thought of being seen with me?” 

Eddie’s face drains of color. 

“I can’t help but see now that this is all you think I deserve. A quick kiss when no one can see, right? A little making out before someone can figure who you’re with, huh?” 

“No! That is not at all what that was! I can’t believe you would think that. I pushed you away so you wouldn’t be seen with me!” he shouts, cutting me off. 

“What?” 

“The whole town wanted me for murder! Murder! They thought I was running a cult that killed my friend as a sacrifice! My friend! I didn’t want you to be tied to that anymore than you already were, so I pushed you off before the others could see. If someone, somehow went yapping about a girlfriend of mine and things went sideways when we got out of the upside down, you might have gone down with me and I couldn’t let that happen. I just couldn’t. I was going to tell you all of this as soon as I could but you never let me get the chance, and I see why now. I am so sorry it looked like I was embarrassed to be with you, but that will never be the case with me.” 

He takes my face in his hands and looks me directly in the eyes. 

“You are single-handedly the most beautiful person I have ever met. Inside and out. You have always cared for me and the old Hellfire Club. Don’t think I didn’t know it was you sending cookies on our campaign nights, even after graduating. I remember when I showed up at your house looking for James because some older kids had taken my lunch money in middle school, little you went after them yourself and did one helluva job doing it. You sat me down and cleaned me up. Gave me peas to put on my forehead.”  

It was like a forgotten memory was just pulled up by his words, I did remember that. 

“I could never be embarrassed by you, ever. I don’t care what people think. I…I love you. And I love your hair, and I love your eyes, and I love your laugh, and I love your stomach and your thighs, and I love your mind. I love you and I hope you can see it. I hope…I hope you can see me,” he finishes off in a very quiet whisper, tilting his head down and away from my eyes. 

I place my hands over his that still hold my face. 

“I have always seen you, Eddie Munson. Always.” 

His head jolts up to look me in the eyes once more. 

“God, Eddie, I’m so sorry. I know you’re not a horrible person, I should have known, I’m so sorry. God, you were literally being hunted for murder and I was crying about you being embarrassed by me? I’m so fucking sorry.” 

I shake my head and take a deep breath. 

“I love you, I have for so long. I love the way you smile, I love the way you’re not afraid to take up space, I love the way you’re there for Dustin, the way you were there for me countless times. I love you and your horrible music.”

“Hey, now. Watch it.”

I laugh, “I love you and I see you and I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re forgiven, I promise. You didn’t even really need to apologize in the first place.” 

“Yes, I did. Because none of that was fair to you.” 

“And none of that was fair to you, shortcake. It’s okay.” 

I look at his lips, and that’s all the cue Eddie needs to kiss me. Finally. We put our hearts into it, getting lost in each other. Getting lost in our sudden understandings of the other.  

“We’re both really kinda stupid aren’t we? Stupid and oblivious,” I say, chuckling quietly. 

“Oh, definitely. I mean, we’ve known each other for, what, at least ten years and we couldn’t figure this out without a bunch of drama?” 

“It seems very on brand for you actually, you’ve always been one for the dramatics.” 

“I love you.” 

“And I love you.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

This one is so long I'm putting most of it under a readmore to save your dash

Anonymous asked:

AITA for stabbing a kid?

(this is less Am I The Asshole and more Was I The Asshole, bc it's really just a story from high school that I - as an adult in my mid-20s - was remembering recently and thought could be fun to toss to The People in as objective of a form as I can. anyways, all names are 100% made up to replace actual names, and everybody involved ends the story safe and alive)

I (16ish F then, 20s NB now) was trying to prep for an upcoming speech and debate tournament (yes, I was insufferable as a teen) with a group of other students in our debate coach's classroom. specifically, I was working with a younger student, Tammy (14ish F then), on understanding this specific type of debate (LD for my fellow insufferable teens out there) and brainstorming with her on some of the main components of her own case. as we were trying to work, another student, Tony (15ish M then), kept butting in to pester Tammy, making it impossible for Tammy or me to focus. in hindsight, I'm like 74% sure Tony had a bit of a crush on Tammy in that moment and expressed that feeling by being an annoying little shit towards her (as teens often do). that was at least how I would characterize the general vibe of Tony's actions and how he seemed to really need Tammy to be paying total attention to him. from my perspective and based on my basically decade-long memory at this point, Tammy (maybe?) asked him to leave her alone. she at least seemed frustrated and annoyed with him, or just generally flustered in a way I read uncomfortable. (take all this with a grain of salt here bc, regardless of how Tammy really felt, I was for sure super annoyed and that fact would almost certainly impact my interpretation and memory of the situation.)

idk if any teen girls out there (former, current, or future) have tried to teach or learn while a teen boy is flirt-bugging you or the person you're with, but it got old real fast for me. so, almost immediately, I asked Tony to knock it off so me and Tammy could work. he refused and kept bugging her. I continued to tell him to quit and he continued to ignore me, and this went on for a while. so, as one does, I figured it was time to threaten him with physical violence. I told him that if he didn't back off and let Tammy work, that I would stab him.

now, to give a bit of context for what the fuck I was thinking in that moment, I had learned a particular lesson earlier in my time as a supposed teenage girl dealing with supposed teenage boys in the 2000s-2010s: don't make threats you aren't willing to follow through on. so when I threatened to stab him, I 100% meant it. to provide a tad more context, I did also have a bit of a casually violent streak in high school for this reason (but maybe those stories are for a different AITA submission at another time, but they were all in a similar vein as this one in terms of cause and severity). also, does it help or hurt to add this was in a rural public high school in Texas? either way. to be fair to Tony, that's still undoubtedly a deeply unhinged and disproportionate thing to actually do, but would be a semi-common hyperbolic empty threat to make as a teen to another teen.

as you can assume based on the title here, Tony did not quit despite these threats. so, true to my word, after us arguing back and forth for a bit more, I stabbed him in the arm with the pen I was holding. he was obviously upset (to be clear, it did hurt him but did not injure him to the best of my knowledge beyond leaving a light mark for a bit of time that afternoon*) and he complained about having been stabbed. I said I warned him repeatedly that I would stab him before I actually did, to which he replied that that was an insane thing to actually do (fair enough, ya know?). the teacher was in the room, but if she saw any of this she ignored it. tbh, I don't see how she could have not noticed a kid loudly complaining about having been stabbed by another kid. so, I assume she chose to ignore it, possibly bc I was a bit of a teacher's pet (ie. president of the speech and debate team she was the coach of (I told you I was insufferable)). actually, now that I think about it, that was not the only time I stabbed another kid in her classroom in almost identical circumstances... maybe we are both TA....

anyways, in conclusion:

reasons I think I'm NTA: he was being an annoying dick to the friend I was mentoring at the time, and I did warn him that I'd stab him if he didn't quit being an annoying dick several times before actually following through (and it was only with pen and did no serious harm, but I think it does still count as assault regardless (?) and also I love the classic AITA storytelling technique of Being Dramatic, so feel free to ignore this point and *any other times I brought up that he was ultimately okay when considering how you wanna vote).

reasons I think I'm TA: I mean... I fuckin' stabbed a kid just bc he was being annoying and I fully got away with it bc the teacher liked me, plus I was a repeat offender of doing lowkey violence like this in response to other kids being Kinda Annoying and Shitty™. pestering other people on purpose bc you possibly have a crush on them is a very normal thing for a teen to do. stabbing another teen with a writing utensil just bc they did so though?... perhaps not.

(also, as an endnote: just to be clear, I do not stab teens at all in any context whatsoever since growing up. out of AITA-writing-character here, I think I was a kid who was just sick of guys around me crossing boundaries and dealt with that in a myriad of very unhealthy ways that were also informed by my general redneck upbringing that - understandably or not - sometimes saw some violence as a valid way to assert personal boundaries if it seemed they weren't being respected. that doesn't make it okay and is not at all a defense against being TA in this story, just trying to assure folks that regardless of whether you think I was TA I am now also a somewhat well adjusted adult who at least channels their overwhelming fury into organizing/activism stuff and mutual aid rather than stabbing annoying teenagers. while this isn't some stressful conflict that I feel torn up about or anything even close to that, I am interested to see what folks think, so thanks for reading if the mod(s) found all this worthy of posting for y'all!)

What are these acronyms?

[kolyasupremanxy]

I just finished binging bsd and have been religiously reading your stories and I saw that you have request’s open (I only screamed a little bit) and was wondering if i could request a scenario slight trigger warning ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

⚠️ where Dazai finally meets someone who wants to end it all like him (he thinks she’s kidding and won’t go through with it) but her ability won’t allow her to die and he is shock when she actually goes through with all of his dying ideas (idk what to call them) and a fluffy ending if you can to level out the dark themes.

It’s kinda dark so i understand if you don’t do it but keep up the good work and thank you if you do decide to write it ❤️

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst , fluff ( ? )

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : suicide , mentions of ending life

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 0.8K

𝐀/𝐧: I hope you're doing well, anon.

You were standing at the edge of the building, staring down at the ground far below. You had been contemplating ending your life for as long as you could remember, and today felt like the day you would finally do it.

As you stood there, lost in thought, a voice behind you made you jump.

"Planning to jump?" Dazai said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

You turned to face him, surprised that someone had found you. "How did you know?" you asked, tears streaming down your face.

Dazai shrugged. "I could just tell. I've been there before, you know."

You looked at him skeptically. "You? A member of the mafia, suicidal?"

Dazai chuckled. "Yes, me. It's not uncommon, you know."

You felt a strange sense of comfort talking to him, like you had finally found someone who understood you. You explained to him how you had tried to end your life before, but every attempt had failed. You told him about your ability, how you couldn't die no matter how hard you tried.

Dazai's eyes lit up at the mention of your ability. "Interesting. Do you want to die with me?"

You were taken aback by his suggestion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, let's die together. It'll be fun," Dazai said with a smirk.

You looked at him, considering his proposal. Part of you was intrigued by the idea, but the other part of you was terrified. "What if I can't die?"

Dazai shrugged. "Then we'll just keep trying until we figure it out."

Over the next few weeks, you and Dazai spent your time trying to die together. You tried everything from jumping off buildings to getting hit by cars, but nothing seemed to work.

As you continued to spend time with Dazai, you began to see a different side of him. He was kind and caring, and he made you laugh in a way that no one else had before. You realized that you had developed feelings for him, and you were terrified that he would leave you once he figured out your secret.

As the weeks went by, you and Dazai continued to try and die together, but as time passed, you found that your desire to die began to fade. You continued to spend time with Dazai, you began to see a different side of him. He was kind and caring, and he made you laugh in a way that no one else had before. You realized that you had developed feelings for him and found that his company was enough to make you forget about your dark thoughts.

One day, as you were sitting on the roof of a building with Dazai, you realized that you hadn't thought about suicide in weeks. You turned to him, surprised by the realization.

"Dazai, I haven't thought about dying in a while," you said, a smile spreading across your face.

Dazai smiled back at you. "I know. I've noticed that you've been happier lately."

You looked at him, realizing that he had been paying attention to you more than you thought. "Thank you, Dazai. For being here with me."

Dazai wrapped his arm around you. "Of course, I'll always be here for you."

You leaned into his embrace, feeling grateful for his support.

Over the next few months, you and Dazai continued to grow closer, and your feelings for him continued to deepen. You found yourself falling in love with him, but you were too scared to tell him.

One night, as the two of you were walking through the city, you mustered up the courage to tell him how you felt.

"Dazai, I have to tell you something," you said, taking a deep breath.

Dazai looked at you, his eyes full of curiosity. "What is it?"

"I'm in love with you," you said, the words spilling out before you could stop them.

Dazai's eyes widened in surprise, but then a smile spread across his face. "I'm in love with you too," he said, taking your hand in his.

You felt a surge of happiness wash over you, and for the first time in a long time, you felt truly alive.

The two of you spent the rest of the night walking through the city, hand in hand, talking about your hopes and dreams for the future. You realized that, even though you had spent so much time trying to die, life was worth living if you had someone to share it with.

As the sun began to rise, you and Dazai stood on a bridge, watching the first rays of sunlight hit the water. You turned to him, feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

"Dazai, thank you for being with me when i was at my lowest point of my life," you said, tears streaming down your face.

Dazai took your face in his hands, wiping away your tears. "Anytime, my love. I'll always be here for you."

You leaned in and kissed him, feeling grateful for the love and support that he had given you. As you stood there, watching the sun rise with Dazai by your side, you knew that, no matter what happened, you would always have a reason to live.

Do Not Copy or Plagiarize Any of My Works. Reblogs Are Very Appreciated.

[spacemonkeysalsa]

Any opinion on a character that focuses too much on approval/disapproval, I tend to dismiss. You know, unless it leads them to conclusions that I think are right for other reasons that they just didn't explore. Or, I would feel that way if I'd seen that, but I haven't.

If you're whole theory of the character is based off the approval system and doesn't take their actual story into account, you tend to be wrong.

Partly, this is because it's tricky to confidently know why a character reacts the way they do, though that's a fun exercise on its own. Every once in a while I'll read an explanation that completely nails it, but for every one fandom theory written by someone who actually sounds like they get the characters, I read about twenty from people who sound like they are maybe 12 hours into the game, or even familiar with the characters purely from marketing material they saw on Facebook.

Like, I do think speculating about certain moments of approval/disapproval is fun, and also, totally inevitable, but I only consider it on a case by case basis and not when it's extrapolated into something immutable.

IE - I think it's interesting that when you find Halsin in the bear cage you can throw rocks at him with the Goblin children and a) no one disapproves of this, including our animal lovers and our Halsin saviours and b) Astarion approves.

A bad example of analysing this would be "well b) Astarion is just evil and I guess a) the other characters think the bear is in jail for good reason" or more likely "idk a) it's not that deep unless its Astarion then its b) definitive proof he's irredeemable"

So,

a) I think they each have their own individual reasons for tolerating it, and its first important to note that at this point, none of them know the consequences of you doing this, because if they did, you'd see some disapproval for sure: Shadowheart appreciates subterfuge and commitment to it, so even though she doesn't like to see animals get hurt, she doesn't react and also has a high tolerance for situations in which a group mentality forces you to do something cruel. She has to. Karlach wants to give you the benefit of the doubt, so she probably tells herself that it was just a mistake. If you'd known what would happen, you never would have done it, maybe you thought a little extra pain and rage would motivate the bear, she knows something about that.

Wyll I legitimately think that when surrounded by Goblins, Wyll's ability to power through unpleasant situations and his rage goes way way up, and empathy consequently goes way down. He only ever gets nasty when it has to do with them. He's too focused on his enemies to consider much else.

Gale may love animals, canonically, but like I remember one time I was talking with someone who told this story about having to shoot a feral dog on his property when it went after his chickens, and this guy was clearly traumatised that he had to do this, but our clueless acquaintance just dismissively said "well you did what you had to" and proceeded to kind of invalidate the conflicted feelings our buddy was having about it. Gale is somehow both of them. I don't think he'd throw the rocks, unless forced. I think he'd be upset at having to hurt an animal under any circumstances. But I don't think he'd feel much if someone else did it. Bears are capable predators, bears can handle a few rocks.

Lae'zel doesn't disapprove because violence, pain, cruelty on its face aren't offensive to her, and she doesn't have a particular love for animals. Alternatively, I also think it makes sense she doesn't approve either because although she does approve of some acts of cruelty, I think she prefers when there's a discernible purpose to it, or something impressive about it. and

b) Astarion approves because he begins the game in the paradigm that acts of cruelty are how you gain and demonstrate power, and that being kind gets you punished. You can either prove him right or prove him wrong through your choices in the game, but I don't think it's an accident that these moments become less and less frequently as you progress the story, regardless of the path you choose. You can challenge Astarion, and even shift that paradigm for him. Takes time though, and at least when you first meet him, he's very comfortable with you being a bastard because it affirms that paradigm and the dynamic that he's used to. It's notable then, that on the flip side, he's vocally uncomfortable with you being kind, but his approval still steadily climbs if you keep him in your party and don't treat him poorly, even if you are kind to everyone you can possibly be kind to, and you always have him with you, his approval still climbs at a regular rate. Basically, I think its reductive to say that he's just entertained by violence and cruelty. Like, yeah, one point awarded for noticing that about him---he absolutely is evil aligned, gold star. Why's that? Why does he approve of cruelty? And what does it say that as he finally spends the first weeks of his life able to make his own choices, he seems less and less inclined to approve of the cruel acts that you commit? There's loads of these moments in act one, less in act two, and in act three you have to go hunting for them and mainly find them in big story events that you will only find when you are RPing evil.

I think it supports the theory that he's got a kind of mechanically enabled redemption arc, but it doesn't prove it. The game is meant to embody 15K different realities and AUs, they had to make it so that the character would have different version of themselves for you to interact with, depending on your choices.

And I guess that makes the emphasis on NPC choices that much more interesting to me. Removed from Cazador, Astarion's arc naturally bends away from cruelty, unless you act as his new master which you are totally permitted to do.

[inkdragon1900]

I’m rewatching TDP all the way up to S5’s release. So as I’m watching the credits for S2 ep 4 (because why would I skip them) this shows up.

I remember thinking this one was funny and a cute reference to The Great Gatsby when I first watched it. But since then I’ve read and watched Gatsby more times than I can count. Genuinely my favorite classic.

And it got me thinking. Why??? Why would they specifically reference this?

We all know they’ll throw in stuff in the credits we get to see or understand in the future (Ethari, Queen Aditi, etc)

So why this?

Time to combine two of my hyperfixations.

Most of this will be in reference to the 2013 adaptation of The Great Gatsby directed by Baz Luhrmann since that’s where the scene of Gatsby toasting in front of the fireworks comes from.

So how does Gatsby’s story work with Aaravos’s?

Well after mulling it over I can actually think of quite a few.

So in S2 episode 4 we get basically our first actual introduction to Aaravos sure he’s got no actual dialogue yet and we did see a flash of him in the episode prior. But this is narratively our first actual introduction.

Now interesting enough we as viewers find out we have seen him before. Multiple times with the intro we see his hands, and in the first episodes backstory we see him in the background and he’s the narrator.

So if it’s not necessarily our first introduction to Aaravos then who’s is it?

Viren.

Viren I’m going to insert in Nicks role in TGG just cause it makes sense narratively.

Now in TGG this scene:

Happens directly during Nick’s first actual interaction with Gatsby.

Now it should be mentioned this is not the first time they’ve seen each other. In fact it’s stated that Nick was being watched by his neighbor Gatsby for…idk a while.

And like Nick knew it he’d catch a glimpse of his hand in the window from time to time he just didn’t know it was Gatsby.

But anyway once again this fits with the fact we know Aaravos has been watching Viren from the other side probably the entire time.

So!!! Why does this matter.

Because in TGG no one knows shit about Gatsby. The mother fucker is elusive.

Literally at the party Nick is trying to track him down to thank him and LITERALLY no one knows what he looks like they just showed up to the party. Nick is literally the only person to have been invited because Gatsby just thought he’d show up like the rest of New York.

So while Nicks looking for Gatsby we get introduced to the most WILD theories about this man.

So anyway after getting shitface Nick and this woman Jordan (who’s a friend of his cousin Daisy) jokingly go exploring the house “looking” for Gatsby. (They’re not they’re just drunk af and having fun)

Anyways while exploring they end up in the mansion’s library. As they’re goofing around this older guy browsing the stacks starts telling them that they won’t find him and how the house and everything in it is an elaborate facade. (He’s right of course) so Jordan says she’s met him. And the guy asks them which version? The prince? The spy? The murderer? And goes on to say that he can’t find anyone who knows anything real about Mr. Gatsby.

And like if that’s not true for Aaravos, I don’t know what is.

Because all we know about Aaravos narratively has been told to us. We haven’t seen anything. Not really.

So who is he really?

Plus Gatsby’s main flaw is his attachment to the past his absolute refusal to move on.

And idk Aaravos more or less can’t actually move on since he’s imprisoned. But even narratively he stuck mentally where he was before imprisonment.

And that’s just another one of the many parallels I can draw.

Hell we don’t even get Gatsby’s backstory until the end of the movie pretty much and we barely know anything about Aaravos and we’re already headed into season 5.

Anyways I have a ton more thoughts on the comparison to Aaravos and Gatsby. I don’t want to spoil the ending of TGG for anyone who hasn’t read/watched it. GO READ OR WATCH IT. So I might eventually make a separate post.

Oh one other thing. The new money vs old money narrative in TGG could easily be reworked to fit Human’s learning magic (dark magic or not) and being born into an arcanum. And like Gatsby is new money which fits with Aaravos managing to connect to all the arcanum’s

[bookishjules]

the mom i babysit for wanted to show me a poem she'd written today, because i'm a writer and she can trust my opinion on it i guess, even though her friend had already told her it was good. and it was good!! it was touching. "fantasies," the mom said. i told her it was nice to read something light-hearted bc i find i usually end up writing sad poems. we talked a little about poetry and how much fun it is to write it. "it's very tactile," she said, which i thought was such a good way to put it.

after a few minutes, i asked her if i could share one of my poems with her, the one i wrote last friday because it's actually.. not sad. but as she was reading it, her oldest came into the room and i told her what was happening. and she immediately asked if i had shared a poem i wrote a few weeks ago with her mom, because that one was her favorite. i said no, because it's sad. but my 12yo insisted, so i sent her mom a screenshot of the sad poem. she was surprised at how sad it was, confused why i would write something depressing like that. "because sad things hold meaning," her daughter said, simply. the mom didn't have a response to that, just kinda sputtered. she said that the poem was "good, but..."

that but really got me.. my 12yo and i are much on the same page when it comes to stories and poems and what moves us. she'll cry over a book and her mom will be concerned about the tears and ask why she reads books that provoke them, while i will be the one writing the poems and suggesting the books that make her cry. to us, tears are evidence that you were touched by the art. but i think it goes beyond that.

i don't know if this is more a discrepancy in how we view art or how we view pain. and i don't know if it says more about me or the mom that her reaction to this sort of thing kinda rubs me the wrong way. i understand the desire not to seek out pain, and i understand wishing to protect your children from it, but to treat it as something to avoid, both internally and as a form of expression.. i can't help but feel it would only have negative effects in the long run, especially for those children. because sometimes.. pain and grief and depression are unavoidable. sometimes you can't just look to the bright side and leave the negative emotions in the dust. and establishing the desire for nothing to be sad not only cuts you off as a resource your kids can go to to talk through those emotions, but it could also instill an instinct to internalize them, which could have any variety of negative consequences.

and.. idk call me crazy but i think sad things are worth exploring too. important to explore, even.

[honeyuuyuu]

scary outfit haha

idk how to add in the “SR” symbols and stuff so  :’)))

I decided to do a corpse bride like halloween costume for Honey! :DD

Instagram  ✎  Devianart  ✎ Reblogs help! ^^  

Summon: “The library has more dubious looking books during Halloween... I wonder if they house any curses within these old, cryptic pages...”

Groovy: “Oh, that poor corpse bride... I would like her to know that she is just as beautiful as ‘Little Miss Living’.”

Set Home: “I’ve never been ‘Trick-or-Treating’ before... Hope we have fun.”

Home Idle 1: “I’ve never celebrated Halloween before, nor have I ever worn a spooky outfit. I’m quite excited, actually! Azul said he can help with that, but I don’t really trust him...”

Home Idle 2: “I ate one of Trey’s special batches of Halloween cookies. He said the ingredients are kept a secret and I would only know it if I was in the Clover Family... how suspicious...”

Home Idle 3: “Seeing dirt being kicked into Ace’s mouth reassures me. He ended up whining to me about the whole thing with Deuce apologizing to him. Sigh...”

Home Login: “You know, Halloween is actually about the beginning of the ancient winters. It’s supposed to be solemn, so it’s quite ironic Halloween is so festive in NRC.”

Home Idle Groovy: “Boo! Was I scary? I really want to get into the ‘creeps’!”

Home Tap 1: “Sorry, I don’t have any candy on me...”

Home Tap 2: “Scarabia’s fluffy werewolf outfits are really cute! Wonder if we would kill it in those outfits, too”

Home Tap 3: “...I look scary? Sorry... Trey just told me another cheesy joke. The nerve...”

Home Tap 4: “The complimentary bowl of candy at the service counter of Monstro Lounge is salted caramel flavor! Want one?”

Home Tap 5: “We should go to the library and read some scary ghost stories! I heard that’s a way to celebrate Halloween with family and peers!”

Home Tap Groovy: “Eh? You wanna take a picture with me? I’m a little bashful, not going to lie... hehe...”

[louandhazaf]

ANNUAL WRITING SELF EVALUATION 2023

List of works published this year:

Wanted: Dog Walker // Louis needs a dog walker. / Harry answers the ad. A Social Construct // Five times Harry and Louis try to lose their virginity and one time they finally do.

Tongue Tied // Louis’ new bestie placed a hand on his shoulder; he turned with a sway and looked into his blue eyes. ”What do you wish?” / The world spun for a moment, and Louis shrugged. It was easy. The only thing he wanted. “I wish that I could tell Harry that I love him, instead of getting all tongue tied and chickening out.” / The Irishman winked. “You never know, your wish may just come true.” / “From your lips to God’s ears, mate.” He gave the man a hug. “I gotta go before my Uber leaves me.” / He stumbled to the door, and that was the last thing he remembered from the night. ‘tis the damn season // Harry returns to her small hometown over the holiday season and starts to think about the road not taken.

Work you are most proud of (and why): ‘tis the damn season because I have always said that there was absolutely no way I could write an advent fic day by day. And yet, when Nov 30th came around and I only had two chapters, my fomo won over my fear of failure and I thought I’d give it a try, because the worst that would happen is that I wouldn’t finish it, which would’ve been fine! But then with the help of everyone who read along, I actually did it! 

A favorite excerpt of your writing: unlike most years, when I quickly scrolled through my works, nothing specific jumped out, so I’ll just say that I really liked how ch 6 rolled into ch 7 in ‘tis the damn season! 

Share or describe a favorite review you received: literally every single one.

A time when writing was really, really hard: oh boy. Okay. so if you go back and read my 2022 recap, and 2021, you’ll see that writing has consistently been hard for me for a few years. So, this year I told myself not to worry about it, that I could not write a single thing and not feel bad about it. I didn’t do a ton of writing this year, but having the internal pressure off sure helped. Even though I really miss the way it used to be. 

A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: I’ll say Zayn in ‘tis the damn season, because I didn’t have a role for her when I started, and I really liked her as minor threat slash Louis’ bff and sometimes hookup. I want someone to write a story in her pov. lmaoooo How did you grow as a writer this year: I really tried to get rid of my perfectionist tendencies and tried to write without putting pressure on myself. 

How do you hope to grow next year: i dont even know, tbh. I’ll be very happy if I match my 2023 fic count. 

Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): I adore everything that @disgruntledkittenface put out this year. The way she keeps pushing herself is really inspiring.

Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: ummm, I guess the ‘moving back home thing’... idk. Nothing i wrote this year hit particularly close to home. 

Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: i love you. please keep going!

Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: what I would give to be able to write the next installment of Swallow My Words. Thank you so much to @kingsofeverything @allwaswell16 @lululawrence and @haztobegood for tagging me! @phdmama want to join in the fun? @disgruntledkittenface did i miss yours? anyone else??? (also, here’re my responses from 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022)

[littlesubbyflower]

Slow Dancing — S.H.

Modern!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary - You slow dance with Steve outside of his BMW

3.5k Words

Warnings: None? Actually— Friends To Lovers, Admission of love? idk man this feels like absolute, tooth rotting fluff.

A/N : Doing this as a modern!Steve because when asking my parents about how things were in the 80’s, they responded with “We were between the ages of 1-10 during that time, our teen years were in the 90’s” so Modern!Steve it is! I would also love to shout out all of the wives in the Coven for helping me 🫶🏻 and @myobmaya for always reading my late night screenshots that I send and always helping me run with my ideas 💖

Don’t forget to like and reblog!

— 🍓 — — 🍓 — — 🍓 —

“Ah, I don’t know Robin, I just don’t think she sees me that way.” Steve said, stacking the pile of books on the counter after scanning them in.

“Oh my gosh, you’re such a dingus! She totally has the hots for you.” Robin calls a few aisles over, putting away the cart full of books.

“You think?” Steve asks, looking down at his feet, a slight blush rising to his cheeks. Steve had never been so smitten with a girl since Nancy Wheeler. Steve will never forget how she looked him in his eyes and said he was bullshit, him asking her if she loved him, and her repeating that ‘it’s bullshit.’

Steve was heartbroken, everyone in the party knew it. Robin found out how much damage had been done when she and Steve were in the bathroom together while Steve spilled his guts out in a toilet after drinking too much. Eddie could tell there were tensions between Nancy and Steve, but no one spoke about it really. Dustin tried to give Eddie a ‘long story short’ version, but it was way too confusing for Eddie to put together pieces because the curly haired boy was speaking too quickly.

You hadn’t lived in Hawkins long. You moved in the late spring from a small town in Texas. Being the outcast at your new school, you kept mainly to yourself. The students of Hawkins High made fun of you for your accent on your first full day in the cafeteria, which had caused you to cry in the bathroom your whole lunch period. Robin had heard you crying when she had walked past the bathroom and comforted you as best she could, and the two of you had been inseparable since. Eddie Munson had also managed to rope you into his small group after Dustin wouldn’t shut up about how cool you were

Steve thought the shift was dragging on, despite it being a Friday night, one of the busiest nights of the week for the small bookstore. Every time the bell on the front door would chime, Steve would secretly hope it was you and would quickly hide his disappointment when he saw it wasn’t. The bell rang and Dustin sauntered into the store.

“You will never guess who I just saw at the record shop next door!” Dustin runs up to the counter “Your girlfriend!”

“For the last time, she isn’t my girlfriend. We are only best friends, that’s all!” Steve said, running his hand through his hair. “She’s probably getting that new record from Eddie, they’ve got the same music taste. Who still collects records? I told her I've got an extra spot on my music subscription.”

“No one wants your spotify login, Steve. She’s going to come in, and besides, I think it’s cool as shit that she still collects records, makes her so much cooler! ” Dustin said, seeing the tips of Steve’s ears turning a tinge of pink at the mention of you. Dustin had gone straight to the D&D display to grab a new book before returning to the counter.

“It’s fine if she doesn’t come in, you know.” Steve replied, taking a book from the younger boy.

“You damn near break your neck every time that bell chimes because you secretly wish it WAS her walking in here.”

Steve’s face flushed a bright red at the accusation.

“Can it, Henderson.” He replies, scanning the book on the register and placing it to the side. “Are you renting this one, or buying?”

“Knowing how Eddie gets with his campaigns, I’m going to buy this one.” Dusting grimaced, remembering how he had rented a book a few weeks ago and had to pay for another book.

“Wait, are we talking about -” Robin seemingly pops into the conversation out of nowhere.

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Anyways.. Stevie, are you going to ask her to the party at Bugsy's tonight?” Robin teases.

“Yeah Stevie, are you?” Dustin mocks, fluttering his eyelashes and clasping his hands under his chin.

“Oh my god you two are insufferable.” Steve hides his face in his hands. “The actual worst!”

“You never answered my question, so I'm going to take your silence as a yes.” Dustin smirks, handing Steve the money for the book.

Just then, the doorbell chimed and the three turned their heads quickly to see who had come in.

“Whoa, why are you guys looking at me like that?” you laughed awkwardly, walking up to the counter. You dug the two books out of your bag and smiled at Steve. “Anyways, thanks for the book recommendations, Stevie! They were great!”

“Y-yeah, no problem!” Steve rushed out. “Hey uh, so there’s this… party tonight, and I was won—”

“Sure!” you reply. “Pick me up at 7. Bye Rob, bye Dustin!” you wink, blow Steve a kiss and walk out the door.

“I cannot believe that just happened.” Steve said to no one in particular. Robin and Dustin only shook their heads.

“It happened and he doesn’t even believe it, total Steve move.” Dustin throws his hands up in exasperation

— 🍓 — — 🍓 — — 🍓 —

Back at your mother’s childhood home, you pace back and forth, half dressed, ranting to Eddie.

“Oh my god, what if I was too confident? I mean, I didn’t even give him the chance to answer! I mean for fucks sake I blew him a kiss before I walked out the door!” You throw yourself onto the bed rather dramatically and Eddie just looks at you.

“Sunshine, you’re overthinking this. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

“What if he doesn’t show up and I'm just sitting on the porch like an idiot?” You ask, sitting up. “Eddie, I’m terrified of that happening again.”

“That’s not going to happen. Steve is different, trust me.” Eddie says, standing.

“Yeah, well, that’s what the cheerleaders said about Andy.” You reply and roll your eyes.

“You wound me, darling, I would NEVER lie to you. I’ve spent some time around him, and he’s not anything like those asshole jocks.”

“I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.”

“Guess you will.” Eddie shoves you. “Please get dressed, people who can see into your first floor window will get so many bad ideas.”

“Sorry, sorry!” standing and grabbing a sweatshirt off of the chair at the desk in the far left corner in the room. “That's it, I'm not going. I'm going to tell Steve that I changed my mind!” You slam yourself down in the chair in a huff after yanking on the sweatshirt.

“No, for the love of heavy metal— absolutely fucking not.” Eddie says, staring at you. “For my own sanity, you are absolutely going to that fucking party with Steve. I can no longer take the pining. You both like each other but are too chicken shit to do anything about it.” Eddie points his finger at you playfully, but his stare held a serious undertone. “If I have to hear from Robin that Steve cannot stop talking about how great you look in that stupid red bikini or any other clothes for that matter and if I hear you talk about how great Steve looks in anything one more time, I'm going to absolutely lose my shit.”

Your cheeks flush a deep red in embarrassment. You open your mouth to speak, but Eddie continues.

“Listen, I love you, but you and Steve need to get your asses in gear before Robin and I take matters into our own hands.” Eddie stands and walks into your closet, pulling out a baby pink and floral white sundress. “Harrington hasn’t shut up about this since you wore it a month ago.” before tossing the garment onto your bed.

You gawk at the boy, eyes as wide as saucers. “You cannot be serious? This dress?” Your face manages to flush a deeper color. “H-he talks about this dress?”

“Serious as a heart attack.” Eddie says, drawing an ‘x’ over his chest.

You look at the dress, weighing your options. You could put on the dress and go to Bugsy’s party and maybe air out your feelings, or you could stay in your room and probably wish you were at the party. Grabbing the dress off the bed, you look at Eddie.

“Guess I'm going to the party.”

— 🍓 — — 🍓 — — 🍓 —

Eddie had left not long after you had decided you were going to the party. He promised to see you there, he just needed to run by Rick’s to stock up on his supply before stopping by to make some deals.

Applying a last swipe of lipgloss and a final spritz of hair spray into your hair, you take one look in the mirror. You adjusted the sleeves of your dress and your fingers immediately dropped to the bottom hem on the skirt, rubbing the fabric between your fingers. You check the clock in the wall for the time, and your heart rate picks up when you notice it’s 6:57. Steve should be here any minute.

Rushing around your room, you find a small purse and shove your lipgloss, a pack of gum, your phone and wallet into. Picking up your strappy sandals, you rush down the stairs calling out your goodbyes to your parents. Once you reach the front door, you stop and put on your shoes and glance at your hair in the mirror next to the door once more, fixing a strand that has now been misplaced. Ruffling your roots and twisting the strands once more, you smile at your reflection and take in a deep breath. On the exhale, you open the door and take two steps before your cheek collides with someone’s chest.

“I’m sorry!”

“Oh god, my bad!”

Steve steadies you, grabbing your upper arms. “I-I should really watch where i’m going.” He looks you up and down before blushing. “Are you okay?”

“I'm okay, Steve. Maybe I should be the one to watch where I'm going.” You blink up at him before your own blush tinges your cheeks and you immediately cast your eyes to the ground.

Steve’s hands are still holding your arms and his touch feels electrifying. He clears his throat before gently dropping his hands. “Y-you ready to go?”

“Oh, sure!” you say looking back up at him and smiling nervously. Steve holds his hand out to you to lead you to his car. You take his hand, feeling electricity jolting from your hand up your arm. Steve felt it too, the way his breath hitched and he could hear his own heartbeat in his ears as you grabbed his hand and he led you to his car.

“Ever the gentleman.” you giggle out as he opens the car door for you and lets you get settled before closing the door and jogging around to the driver’s side before getting in.

“Um, i-if you want, we could listen to your music? Don’t tell the kids though— they’ll be out for my neck.” Steve laughs. “Dustin especially.” He looks over at you and smiles.

“Oh, you— we don’t have to!” You rush out. “Your music will be just fine!”

‘Stop being so nervous!’ You shout at yourself in your head ‘It’s just Steve!’

“No, I insist, really.” Steve smiles again. “Bluetooth your favorite playlist, I’m sure it’s great, plus i’d love to hear what you listen to on a daily basis.

“How would you know? What if it’s all Taylor Swift? Or Harry Styles?” You laugh, turning in your seat to look at him as he starts the car and begins to drive off.

“Well, I guess that’s a risk I am willing to take with you.” He looks over at you and smiles when approaching the stop sign at the end of your street. “You’d be surprised at how much of her music I know, all thanks to Max and El.”

“Well in the wise words of Dean Winchester, ‘driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole’ therefore, you’re picking the music.”

Steve shook his head in laughter. “Guess we will be listening to nothing.” A moment of silence passes before Steve speaks again

“I think I'm going to go off on a whim here, okay?” He looks over at you. “I don’t want to go to that stupid party.” He admits, taking a left down a street to head towards Lover’s Lake.

You visibly relax, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Okay, great. I thought it was just me.” a somewhat nervous laugh bubbles from your chest. “I really don’t like parties.”

“It’s okay, really. I don’t like them anymore either.” He looks at you and smiles again. “We could uh, go out to the lake, maybe? For talking, not- not anything else.”

“Oh! S-sure!” Jumbled thoughts raced around your head. You knew why most of the town’s youth went to Lover’s Lake, it wasn’t that hard to figure out, but Steve Harrington taking you there to ‘just talk’ seemed highly unlikely… However, you decided to humor his spur of the moment plan change.

“Great!” Steve looked over at you and winked.

The drive to the lake was a quiet one, but not the awkward, suffocating type. The type of quiet that was comforting, that people could sit in for hours and not have any issues. Reaching down and playing with the hem of your dress as the passing houses turned into woods, where the asphalt turned into a dirt road leading off towards the lake. Steve parked in the middle of an open field, right in front of where the sun was setting over the water. He rolled down the windows in the car before turning it off and turning to face you.

“You know, you look beautiful.” Steve said to you, voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t mention it earlier when I should’ve.” He reaches up, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Y-you think?” You stutter and look down into your lap, a blush covering your cheeks.

“Oh it’s not that I think, it’s that I know that you’re beautiful.” Steve carefully lifts your chin with his hand. “I am so serious, sweetheart. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” His brown eyes bore into yours, flakes of amber and dark brown catch your attention as he leans closer to you and smiles.

Your breath catches in your throat as he leans in closer, the blush on your cheeks deepens. “You’re way too nice to me, Stevie.” You whisper out. “You gonna stare at me all night?” You giggle out, feeling a bit more confident.

“Only if you’ll let me.” He says, voice dripping with honey and a bit of truth. His free hand slowly makes its way to your knee as it gently rests there. “I know you, the you that lives here in Hawkins, but I want to know what you were like before you moved here.”

“Oh, still the same old me.” You speak slowly, the skin on your knee feeling about ten degrees warmer. “Still always collecting records and whatnot.” Smiling that Steve actually wants to get to know you. “I like reading too and I’m pretty decent at crocheting things!”

A boyish laugh bubbles past Steve’s lips. “You crochet?” His eyes hold a half impressed, half curious look. “What kind of things?”

“Blankets.” You murmur out sheepishly. “Like the lavender and cream colored one on Robin’s bed.”

“YOU made that? That’s the softest blanket I think I’ve ever touched.”

“O-oh, yeah I did. I had to learn how to do something while the military packed up my house and moved us here.”

“Military?” Steve looked shocked. “Who’s in the military?”

“Oh, my dad is! He’s stationed in Indianapolis, but my mom grew up here, so they bought her childhood home, and he comes home on the weekends.”

“That’s… interesting.” Steve says, rubbing absent minded circles on your skin, fiddling with his hair with his free hand before bringing it under his chin and resting it there, genuinely listening to every word you’re saying.

“It’s alright I guess. I was very lucky and only moved around a handful of times. Unfortunately, I missed my junior prom because we moved here.” You admit, your voice holding a saddened tone. “So I can’t wait for my senior one this year.”

“Didn’t get your romantic slow dance, did you sweetheart?”

“No Stevie, I didn’t.” You admit.

Steve stops rubbing circles on your knee, looking at you, cocking his head to the side.

“You serious?”

“As a heart attack, Harrington.”

Shaking his head and muttering to himself, Steve starts fumbling with his phone and car stereo, quickly scrolling through his music.

“Everything okay?” You ask, trying to lean forward a bit to look into Steve’s eyes.

“Hm? No, sweetheart, it’s not.”

Disappointment bubbled in your chest, a white hot feeling that you weren’t entirely used to. “Oh..”

“No, no, I didn’t mean it that way. We are going to get you your romantic slow dance. I just need to find the perfect song.” Steve says, placing his hand back onto your knee, still scrolling through his music. “Where is that playlist?” he mutters to himself.

“Aha!” he said after a moment or two, clicking the screen of his phone, then reaching forward and turning the dial to his radio to increase the volume.

“Steve, what exactly are we doing?” You ask, eyeing him down.

“Getting you that slow dance you missed out on.” He says, before getting out of the car and jogging to your side, opening the door and offering you his hand. “May not be super romantic but, it will be something special.”

You’re rendered speechless for a moment. Why would Steve Harrington offer to slow dance with you in the middle of a field? Surely Robin and Eddie were right, maybe he was different than all of the others.

In the back of Steve’s mind, all he could think about was Robin telling him how you weren’t like the girls their age. You were different and he just had to go out on a whim and see it for himself, and god was she right.

You take Steve’s hand and get out of the car, Steve the door closing behind you. He brings you right to the front of his car, in the glow of his headlights.

“Can I have this dance, sweetheart?” He asks, smiling at you as the opening chords of Etta James’ “My Dearest Darling” begin to fill the air.

All I need is someone like you, My Dearest Darling, please love me too

“Oh Stevie, this is such a classic.” You blush and grab his hand. “Who knew you’d be such a charmer.” You giggle, standing closer to him as you place a hand on his shoulder and he carefully places his free hand on the small of your back.

“Is this okay?” He asks.

“More than okay.” You whisper out as he pulls you impossibly close.

Ooh, My Dearest Darling, I offer you my heart.

His brown eyes bore into yours, both of you taking shallow breaths, swaying to the music. The sunset casting the perfect hue onto his face, making his freckles pop against his tanned skin.

“Sweetheart, I need to tell you something.” Steve whispers, slowing the tempo down a bit, but still staying in time with the music.

“Yes?” You ask, never breaking eye contact.

“I-” He stops, taking a deep breath. “Bare with me here.” He laughs nervously. “I am pretty much in love with you.” He takes another deep breath. “I am in love with you, actually. I have been, for months.”

Oh nothing, nothing, nothing in this world could keep us apart.

You stare up at the boy in front of you, heart beating wildly in your chest. You open your mouth to say something before he starts talking again

“You don’t have to say anything back. I-I just wanted to get my feel—”

You cut him off by bringing your fingers up to the nape of his neck, gently pulling him closer and bringing him down for a bruising kiss. His hands immediately grab at your waist and you grab onto his shirt with your free hand.

It was everything you hoped it would be. Steve’s soft lips captured yours, moving in time with your own, deepening the kiss. He wanted to frame this moment in a glass box forever, he wanted to keep every moment, every emotion, every feeling he had in his pocket to replay over and over again.

You pull back after a moment, Steve looked at you with wide eyes, before smiling at you. A wide, toothy grin

“I'm in love with you too, Steve.” You smile. “I think even before I admitted to myself, I think I knew.”

Steve pulls you back in for another kiss, bringing his hand up to cup your jaw. Seemingly out of nowhere, water droplets began falling from the sky, causing you to giggle into the kiss.

“Hope kissing in the rain is on your bucket list, Harrington.” You say after pulling away.

“Only if I can kiss you, sweetheart.”

“Always.”

— 🍓 — — 🍓 — — 🍓 —

Ahh! Thank you so much for reading! As always, reblogs and likes are always appreciated! First published Steve piece! 💖

[babiebom]

Ranking my Mechat Matches Based on how much I Like Them(currently)

A/N: this isn’t to be mean or say I hate them or anything lmao it’s just for fun since I don’t see many Mechat posts on here and I wanna post something to make it obvious that I will write for them? Might be ooc for the writings but I try my best!!

Tw: cursing, some sexual mentions, maybe a little bit of bullying(affectionate and derogatory maybe), SPOILERS (maybe)

BC: at least 5 for each

Mechat Masterlist

First the guys since I am actually attracted to them:

1)Tamura Blood

Literal love of my life I’m always thinking about him

Like it’s not even like exaggerating when I say he’s taken over 90 percent of my daydreams

Like I was never really into the whole mafia romance thing before

But I genuinely want this man to be happy

Like I know he’s a character but I want him to be happy and if I have to write a million fics just to make it true for him I will

Like he actually cares even if he doesn’t show or say it and while I usually hate it he’s just so….

Idk how to explain it

He was my first match and when I first finished his story before they updated it twice I actually was VERY upset and checked on it every day to see if it would ever be updated

Idk what happens next because I’m playing through the updates now but

If me and him don’t get a happy ending I’m going to have a breakdown

I need a happy ending with him <3

The cheek kiss is the last thing I saw and I’m so mad he cheek kissed instead of lip kissed

Slow burn isn’t usually my favorite to read so this is actually killing me

But I literally look forward to his messages every day.

NAUR I FINISGED HIS STORY IN BETWEEN WRITING THIS AN DNOW IM SAD :((((( I LITERALLY J U S T BECAME HIS GORLFRIEND

MECHAT DEVS GIVE ME MORE TAMURA KISSES NOW!!!!!!!!!!

2)Yasuda Hitoshi

Honestly he annoyed me at first and I found it fun to mess with him

But he grew on me

Like even before him and me(the character obviously) started getting along he started to slowly work his way up on my list

And now that we’re getting married and he has told me about the monsters or whatever that he had to save me from

He’s super sweet even if he’s still sorta a big meanie

I think it’s cute

Like YES I love the guy who is mean to everyone but me trope

Like yeah he’s not mean but he isn’t really outgoing or nice with other people

Like he jokes and is cute and UGH

And the way he actually stands up to his parents for you is literally swoon worthy

LOVE MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

3)Johnny Roe

Honestly I think I skipped him the first couple times he popped up as a match

And then when I saw everyone talking about him I thought it was like

…..everyone was over hyping him

But then I got him as a match again

So I matched with him

And he’s actually so cute

And his storyline is cute

And he’s like one of my favorites (obviously seeing as he’s number three)

I now understand the hype surrounding him because I would actually kill someone for this man

And I want to fight the mother so bad

It makes me upset how he’s always like “she’s still my mom”

Like yeah but she literally ABUSED YOU?????

Like I understand completely and I know it would be hard to just turn off loving her for him

But UGH

I want permission to throw hands

And honestly not to trauma dump my mom is the same way

Like she’s not abusive but she was abused by our family when she was a kid(including my grandmother)

And she’s so fiercely protective of her and like I love my grandmother but UGH I have like a place of resentment in my heart for her because e my mom didn’t deserve any of the bad things that has happened to her

So I know firsthand what it’s like to have a parent somewhat like Johnny(my mom doesn’t have agoraphobia)

I guess that’s why I’m super fond of him? Because he’s familiar in a way to me

I just want him to be happy :(

4)Optimo Lynx

I got a crush on him slowly

Like at first I was MEH about him

But then he was a cute nerd who is studying to be a….doctor(????? I forgor sorry)

AND on the other hand he’s a superhero who has literally saved me twice

Like actually I love him

Very smart and cares about people

Like actually HE SAVES LIVES

Like ?????? It’s sad that the public can’t know his identity bc the government will be mad

And the fact I think he would hate that

But he deserves to be paid for saving people the way that he does

And studying on top of that

Like I wouldn’t be able to IMPRESSIVE MAN

wanna give him kisses

ALSO ALSO ALSO

I don’t think I’ve EVER mentioned this on my blog

But black hair blue eyes combo is my favorite

So actually he’s my dream man

I wanna give him more kisses!!!!

I NEED MORE GEMS SO I CAN KISS HIM

And maybe suck his dick if he lets me

5)Zander Echo

When I first started his storyline I only wanted to get him to like me bc he hated me

Like Oh? You hate me? You won’t after I follow this simple plan

But then he started growing on me because he calls me his little snack

And I know he means it in a cannibalistic way but it’s hot so oh well

Then he actually started caring about me kinda

And showed me the ocean in a way that didn’t terrify me (I’m afraid of the ocean)

Like actually while this is lowkey my worst nightmare

I can breathe underwater and I’m not dying or anything so it’s less scary

But I’m still scared of the ocean

It he has a castle that I live in so it’s FINE

Literally would help me get over my fear if he wouldn’t eat me

Also I wish I could give him smooches

6)Azur Blackshade

Ghost man ghost man grim reaper ghost man

Hot hot man

Actually so interesting

And sad

I wanna know how he works

Like I wanna pick at his mind

Honestly ghost types aren’t my favorite monster types but UGH

He makes me wanna write a fanfic of a ghost love interest or something

Really really like him

7)Jozef Chrobak

He was my number one for a HOT WHILE

like I think he’s so hot

And his art style is attractive

Like he’s a VERY good looking man

I do like making people like me

And the fact that he was so against love in the beginning made it more fun

And then the ex appeared and pissed me off

But we ended up together

The only reason he’s this low is because I stopped playing his route bc my own character was pissing me off

Like she’s such a bitch

Like omg he’s romantic now I hate it

Are you a dumb ass hoe or what?

8)Brook

I liked the poly aspect and he was VERY cute

And I’m pretty sure he was a nurse or doctor or the person in an ambulance and I find that super attractive

Like YES save lives papi!!!!!!!!!

And for the most part I liked the story

I could see myself having a crush on him irl

Sweet sweet man

I don’t remember much else since I finished it MONTHS ago

9)Felix

To start off Felix and Brook are pretty much equal

Like it’s a poly relationship and I like them pretty much the same

They’re both sweet men and they’re both attractive

Even though I hated that they all abandoned me

I do think it’s attractive that they all took time to better themselves and their relationship

Like it takes a lot to realize when to step back because the situation you’re in isn’t a good one or might lead to you resenting someone

They were cool

And he was a model so obviously he was hot

Love them

10)Vile Darko

Actually insane?

I like him a lot simply because he seems psychotic

Like WHO makes someone go through insane things for money or whatever

Like actually a clown and it’s attractive

Even though I’m scared of clowns

He makes it hot AND scary

Like I’m genuinely fearing for my life (in game) but I’m also like yeah if he kills me it’s fine bc he has to touch me to do that :)

11)Enzo Gomez

I was SHOOK when I realized he wasn’t just a dog man

Like he’s an actual human that was cursed

He’s a werewolf but Doberman style

His human form is attractive

And don’t kill me but the dog form is somehow attractive(maybe it’s the teeth? Idk)

And his story is kinda sad

Well sad in that he is cursed

I’m pretty sure he was a horrible person and that’s why he was cursed

And I’m glad he has become a better person because of it

12)Lan Ying

He was up at the top before I finished his story a while ago

And now he’s back but I’m not as crazy about him because I’m crazy about tamura so I haven’t played his update yet

But I do LOVE him

Like actually a dom that isn’t an asshole

And I do like shibari and he’s nice

I hate that he ties other people up though

Like mine and only mine?

Seems like a very level headed guy and that’s very attractive

Probably one of the least toxic in this list ngl

13)Eichi Hirano

I’ve never really been crazy about him

Like even though I’m a hyper sexual person his is ONLY sex and sometimes him having trouble with his hotels or whatever

So I wasn’t really interested in him

In still not all that interested :/

He’s cute though

And obviously the sex is good for my character so I guess

I do think he’s kinda nice though, so I do like him

14)Rei

I think he is the SWEETEST guy in an unfortunate position

Because his sister is manipulating him into being basically a scammer and he doesn’t wanna do it

But she gets pissy with him if he refuses

And while I know he could take himself out of that situation

It’s hard with siblings that you wanna keep in your life or whatever

Especially because they’re twins

My only problem with him is that he doesn’t have much of a spine

Like I would like him to stand up to her

But like he’s sweet and I hope the rest of the storyline is good. I kinda stopped playing it

It’s like only two dates that they have?

I don’t feel like wasting diamonds on them right now lmao

15)Dare

I think he’s hot

But in reality I would hate him

I hate playing truth or dare bc it makes me anxious and I can never think of anything

also he knows exactly how he’s making those people suffer and acts like he doesn’t

Actually manipulative

And everything is a game to him UGH

It just annoys me

The sex was cool though

And he is kinda interesting

But like the whole four horsemen thing is an ewie to me

16)Ezra Michelle

I do actually really like Ezra

But I hate the fact that I can’t romance him

I wanna romance the pastor man

I wanna give him smooches but NAUR he’s dedicated his life to the lord

Also he’s cool for a pastor

Obviously they weren’t gonna put a total asshole extreme Christian person in the game

But I do think the way he’s written is very Joseph dream daddy coded but cooler and less shitty

Like Joseph was a shitty man

But Ezra is really cool so far

He’s only this low bc I stopped playing bc I was sad I couldn’t marry him and went after people I could romance instead

17)Drink

He wasn’t really there in the storyline

Like dare was the main character I guess out of the four

Drink and dance barely showed up

But I liked him

And I think his super power of making drinks is cool

Because I hate alcohol and how it tasted I think he would be really dangerous for me if he can make a drink that doesn’t taste like ass

And was kinda nice when we finally got to talk to him

But otherwise he wasn’t really there oof

18)Social

He was more there than drink and dance but he annoyed me

Literal definition of influencer

I was ANNOYED the entire time I had to talk to him

Like can you GET OFF YOUR PHONE

I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FOLLOWERS

GET YOUR CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE BITCH BOY

Like his only personality trait is social media

And yeah granted his name is social

But the others were much more interesting than him

His only good trait is that he’s hot and could probably make me famous if I wanted him to

19)Joon Hwang

I don’t remember him oof

I think I liked him a little bittle but I don’t remember anything about who he is or his storyline so eh

20)Seong On

Like Joon I have no idea who this guy is even though I know I did play through some of his storyline

I have nothing to say about him yikes

Now onto the women since I did match with them!!(my storyline beliefs might be wrong because I speed through them for gems)

1)Naya Honoka

HER STORYLINE IS INSANE?

Like actually I was like OOOH a cute nurse when we first started talking

Then as time went on I was like oof she has no time to herself but she’s so nice and cute

And it was just the right amount of spicy that I was like yeah this is KINDA realistic

LIKE SHE SAVES LIVES WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM HER (other than time)

Then it went into a whole hostage witness protection thing

And I was like HUH

My character in this pissed me off

Bc why when she says HEY don’t say my name call me Hannah instead

My character says Naya 400999 times like MAAM

STOP OUTING HER!!!!!!!!!

Anyways she’s so sweet and deserves love and I want her to be happy and get more breaks from working

Only thing I currently don’t like is how she literally is spending our honeymoon being a nurse

But also irl I would be okay with that bc that means I can be alone for some of the day so oof

2)Eiko Suzuki

I like her more now than I did in the beginning

In the beginning she was kinda annoying

But now I’m like OKAY she deserves the WORLD

Like not because she’s a kitsune but like she is SO PRETTY

And I do like that she’s a family girl

I do think it’s weird that she was like “I don’t want anything serious”

But wanted us to help her with everything

Like I think at this point we’re something more but they haven’t made it official

Which bothers me bc I need to know I’m the only one

And her storyline is also insane

Like WTF your ex boyfriend ruined your life and is BACK to ruin it even more

AND your family can turn into cute ass foxes and you didnt use that to your advantage and KILL HIM?

Literally just maul him as a fox and be like

OH NAUR my bf got mauled by a wild animal I wonder how this could’ve happened?!!!!!!!!!

I do think she’s cool though even though we have to help her with everything and she doesn’t think things through sometimes

I also think it’s funny that since I’m not spending diamonds on her choices that my character is a complete asshole

Like she left her to die LMAO

3)Lexi Rose

I LOVE THAT SHE COSPLAYS

like actually her being an otaku is so cute

And I’m pretty sure she got a tv show opportunity at some point I don’t remember

Like I’m proud of her

Sad that she feels like her true self isn’t very cool

Bc I really like her

She seems sweet and cool and her interests are ones that I like

Like I might not be the biggest anime fan

But I would watch several with her as dates

Like we do not have to leave the house lets snack and you can tell me all the attack on titan lore.

4)River Morales

PRETTY WOMAN

would’ve been number one had I played her recently

But I haven’t played her for WEEKS

so she went down as I lowkey forgot about her

Honestly she was cool and I love that she’s an artist

And I do like the poly dynamic

And the fact that she was REALLY honest about her feelings towards the end

Hate that they kinda abandoned me

But I do like her a lot

Super sweet girl

I think she was sorta insecure in her storyline and I hate that for her

5)Reko Lamarr

Dommy mommy dommy mommy

She’s kinda a bitch

And as a dom I feel like she’s pretty……

Needy?

Like I feel like she should just be a bratty sub or something

Maybe it’s bc I prefer service doms?

But she’s like serve ME worship ME

instead of being a cute dom?

Like MAAM tell me what to do but love on me too

She’s cool tho

Like LOVE a business woman

Get that money queen

She’s VERY stressed

And actually kinda hot when she spanks us

Just wish she was more service-y instead of demand-y

I want to be babied pls

6)Alice Young

She’s okay I guess

I’m not really into sports

And I just started her storyline

And I kinda find the sports thing annoying

Maybe it’s bc I’m not…enthusiastic? Driven about sports that I’m like????

Just FIRE HIM??????

He’s a coach not your dad

Hire someone that cares about your mental health as well as you winning

Like girl just say that you wanna just be friends until you’re done with your tournament or whatever

Like why even join Mechat if you have a whole sports thing you wanna win

Like focus on that THEN join dating apps?

Other than that she’s pretty and cool

And I think her being athletic is attractive

7)Dance

She’s not that bad at all

But we hardly have content of her?

Like we barely see her during the storyline

So she’s okay I guess

Likes to dance and so do I

The only downside is that she’s part of the four horsemen

The upside is that I found the dancing plague in France to be funny and as soon as I saw this party was like that I cackled

But also not really funny in theory

Also kinda dislike her bc she thought the people were having fun when she knew they weren’t

I think she would be fun to be around in small doses.

8)Eura Alabaster

WOULDVE BEEN DEAD ASS LAST IF IT WASNT FOR RAITAS BITCH ASS

I actually HATE her

Like overconfident people don’t really bother me

It’s just SOMETHING about her that pisses me off

Like the way she is makes me want to beat her to death with my fists

Like she’s annoying and overconfident and stupid

AND she kidnapped me

Granted I’m not against someone kidnapping me(in the fictional world)

SHE JUST HAD TO PUT ME ON A BOAT

I HATE boats

I hate the ocean

I think that’s why I hate her so much

The fact that it’s the ocean we’re dealing with

And she’s triggering my irrational fear of the Bermuda Triangle

So it’s stressing me out

I just hate her

9)Raita

I haven’t finished their storyline so if she turns out fine later sorry

But right now

AT THIS MOMENT

I hate her and how she treats Rei

Like she’s an actual bitch and I hate that my character hasn’t said so

Like actually I would’ve been like ??????are you dumb or stupid why are you such a bitch ass hoe????

She’s so mean and for WHAT

He has done nothing wrong but she acts like he has

Like he doesn’t want to scam people but this scamming ass bitch is forcing him to

And I know someone is gonna be like “he can make his own choices”

Sometimes when it involves family and staying on their good side you don’t really have a choice if you want them in your life good or not

Like I HATE HER

[haleigh-sloth]

What are your thoughts on Hazbin? Also, fav song? 👀

Favorite songs: Stayed Gone, Loser Baby, Hell is Forever

But seriously all the music slaps hard. It’s so good.

Thoughts: many

I’ll start with the smaller thoughts and leave the longest (Alastor) for last.

Vaggie is pleasantly explored. I’m surprised in a good way. I also love Charlie and feel like her strength isn’t really on full display yet lol. Exciting.

Angel Dust—my son. Husk—my son in law.

Angel Dust and Husk—I didn’t catch the vibe the first watch through but the second time? Oh they’re gonna be in love later if they aren’t already. I rarely care about ships but I LOVE this one. Good job Hazbin.

I really do like the Vees. They’re clearly antagonists and represent negative effects of social media and technology influence among other things. I mean no they aren’t likable as people, but I certainly like them as characters. I’m excited to see them more.

Everyone else is just fun. I love the found family/home vibe of the hotel. It’s so comforting to me.

Now really, my favorite is Alastor. Shocking I know.

Currently I can’t take my focus off of him. My gut told me he’s a good character to latch onto, and I feel like my gut was right.

I always want a happy ending for my blorbos and I feel like I hit the jack pot here bc he seems like a chaotic “control the game board” type of character (like Izaya, Shigure, Mephisto, etc.). But I think he’s ultimately going to be a benevolent force in the story for what the story is showing (redemption and salvation!).

I’m obsessed with his relationship to Charlie the most, but also I’m just very honed in on how his attachment to the hotel will change throughout the series.

Alastor is hard to read. He’s just a fun little guy. He seems sadistic and uncaring. Emotionless and like an overlord with pretty much no other motive besides power and freedom (regaining what he had before his fight with Vox 7 years ago is what his surface level motive seems to be).

But I cannot take my eyes off of how he’s puts a lot of effort into Charlie and what she wants.

In the pilot he says it’s for shits and giggles, and I’m sure he tells himself it is. But the way he is in the main series (meaning after the pilot) is just very questionable when you remember what he said his motive was. He does a whole lot more than someone who doesn’t actually give a shit.

Sure, it’s nothing for him to defend the hotel really. A mindless chore. But I started getting like ???? when Lucifer showed up. Lucifer clearly bothers Alastor (the frame was deliberately showing Alastor’s eye twitch when Lucifer showed up at the hotel and hugged his daughter). Then of course there was the hilarious “I’m a better dad than him” bit that made me lose my mind. Then in the second to last episode Alastor said “it’s not like you’ve ever failed to inspire before”—obviously meaning himself, has me even more like ???!!!! Something about Charlie inspires him and gets him up and moving and I just love that and want to explore it more and see what that brings for him.

The finale episode shows him starting to crack. He laughs at the thought of almost dying for his friends—the notion hilarious to him. Except he DID ALMOST DIE FOR HIS “FRIENDS”. And I think the reality of that freaks him out. I don’t think he’s very in tune with how he really feels about the company he has right now. Not yet. I really do think right now he’s focused on revenge against Vox, bc he’s openly competitive against him and clearly has a vendetta. I think that clouds everything else with him right now and it’ll be a problem later.

I’ve also gotta give it to a couple of other pals who basically confirmed for me that Alastor’s character is heading for redemption. The kind of redemption the hotel aims for (whether that ends with a place in heaven or not idk or care bc I just want him to have a happy ending with everyone). He doesn’t know this, or acknowledge this. But Charlie’s influence is contagious and Alastor is already infected by it a little. It’ll become more obvious later I think as everyone else around Charlie finds love and happiness in the hotel. We’re already seeing it with Angel and Husk and we saw it with Sir Pentious. Alastor won’t be immune from this I’m sure. Which is what I’m the most excited for. I want to see that man change—and he already is but I want to see more. I can see Alastor accepting salvation/redemption as a major obstacle or barrier and probably something very important for Charlie to accomplish, but I think it’ll be one of the best things in the series too.

Alastor is clearly the creator’s baby. He’s obviously the most complex and has the most going on internally. She’s said he’s existed since she was in high school. He’s important to her and important to the show and I can tell the show will take good care of him. I’m very, very excited for it.

I haven’t felt this excited about something in a while so it’s nice and refreshing. I love the show as a whole but I’m so down for Alastor and his arc. I don’t think I’ll be disappointed.

[religion-in-humanity]

I am from a very odd religious background. I was raised culturally Christian, in the sense that my family celebrated Christmas and Easter, but my family wasn't religiously Christian in any way.

My mom was neo-pagan (until she became baptist well into my late teens) and my dad is a die-hard atheist; I can count all the times I went to a church on one hand and that was always with extended family (and they were all deeply unpleasant experiences), I never prayed or said grace (I held my cousins' hands awkwardly and stared ahead in silence), and my only religious education was Veggie Tales but I was so disconnected from Christianity that I didn't even realize it was a religious show.

(My great-grandma was sent to a Catholic boarding school as a little NDN girl. I grew up seeing her little figurines of the Virgin Mary and the crucifix hanging above her bedroom door, but she never told me about religion. She didn't raise me, or my brother or cousins or her own children, with the fear of hell that was beaten into her.)

I don't know the things that even other culturally Christian people seem to know about Christianity. I don't know Jesus's apostles, I don't know the story of the last supper, I don't know anything about his crucification or whatever it's called. My knowledge of the Christmas story is based on that one vine ("I brought you myrrh." "Thank you." "Myrrh-der!" "Judas, no!" Idk who Judas is either). I can't tell you what that thing priests stand at is called. I don't know the difference between a priest, a chaplain, and all those other people. I can't recognize biblical references.

Which is a very long way of saying that I don't have the same background that a lot of other converts and potential converts are coming into Judaism with. I don't have the deeply ingrained antisemitism that Christians are raised with; I'm sure I heard some iteration of "Jews killed Jesus" as a child but it never registered to me until I started hanging out with Jewish people. I definitely still hold antisemitic beliefs, because I was raised in a society, but I don't have the black and white thinking that ex-Christians bring to the table, where you're either perfect or damned and there is no in-between.

So it's been odd to me, realizing how many other potential converts don't see Judaism as its own religion and culture but as a saving grace, a way of being redeemed from the sins of Christianity and colonialism and whatever else. And then they're forced to realize that Jews, like everyone else in this world, are human beings who are complicated and messy and often selfish and cruel and all their faith in the ways that Judaism can "save" them is shattered by reality.

I have been over here furiously studying, highlighting half of my books and listening to audiobooks while I do dishes and waiting on a holding list for weeks to check out this one book that several Jewish friends recommended and signing up for all of MJL's email lists and even reading the weekly Torah and Midrash portions and their commentaries even though I have no biblical experience, along with talking to people and asking questions and researching synagogues and making a list of questions for a rabbi. And it is so so clear that these people treating Judaism like their spiritual saviors, literally replacing Jesus in their lives with Jewishness, have no actual attachment to Judaism itself and no interest in it beyond the benefits they think it will give to them. They aren't interested in the religion or the meaning or the history, because if they were, then they'd already know how important Israel is to Jewish communities and how prominent Zionism is in all its forms.

They want the culture and the holidays and the bragging rights without any of the weight and history that makes Judaism what it is. As a Native person, I see that so much in people who are trying to connect to distant Native ancestry or pluck at our cultures for themselves; they want all the fun parts without the work and pain and misery and trauma.

Idk. It's just such a depressing realization. I'm not longer part of any actual convert groups and I'm glad for that because I don't know how I'd react to people just. Discarding all this work and passion and love as if it's nothing.

[leoneedincorrectquotes]

Sorry if this is overstepping but I love your ichisaki matchmakers idea and I just wanted to propose some possible ships for Shiho and Ena i think would be cute (plus this is totally an excuse for me to talk abt cute poly ln ships)

Honakanaena: Like Ena is just sooo down bad for Kanade (source: just trust me bro) and her and Honami are so cute together in the Rainbow Canvas event, like both of them have hangups about art and talent (Hona more about fitting in and Ena about having the skill to do it professionally) and they managed to work through some of their problems together, and Hona even invited her and Emu to the thank you concert!

Anhane + Shiho (idk the ship name): 1A trio always and forever, Shiho gets a good moment in her wolf forest card story where she finds An and calms her down, and there’s just so many good moments for them in there. Shiho talks about how much Kohane wanted An to enjoy their room, Shiho and An talk about how caring Kohane is, and An tells Shiho that Kohane told her before how cool Shiho is. It’s really great for the three of them. And then An and Shiho had all their moments in Resonant Town but I could talk about them for way too long if I didn’t stop myself.

Minoharu + Shiho: Once again, 1A trio always and forever, the Minoshiho dynamic is so silly, they get a funny moment in Minori’s wolf forest card where she has to hold together one of the costumes while someone goes to get the glue for it, but she also really wants to eat cookies, so Kohane and Shiho feed them to her. And Harushiho, lovers of cute things. I really loved Haruka’s recent bday story where Shiho picked out the customizable phenny plush for her bday gift. This ship is just sweetness all the way down.

I’d absolutely love any pairing you decided on though and I’m super excited to read the fic when it comes out!

Thank you so much for the ideas, its totally fine to send in stuff like this. I think that, for the ships, I do really like AnHaneShiho, I haven't actually read resonant town yet, but I do know that they have interactions together, and An and Shiho are suprisingly similar characters. As for Minoharushiho, I think that it could be very fun to use, and I think I could probably find a way to use it, my only concern is that I feel like Minori and Haruka work slightly better as a pair, while there are several other characters that work in Anhane in general. Finally HonaKanaEna does make a lot of sense, but personally something about it doesn't fit for me. It's not that it is a bad ship, I just feel like there's something better for Ena, and while it's a good idea, and I will absolutely think about it, It's not really making me crazy, unlike AnHaneShiho.

[personasintro]

Chapter 53 was amazing! One of the best yet! Soooo much happened!

I’m so happy that he told his mom about the abortion. Keeping that from them must have been tough.

The raw sex scene was perfect. Like I didn’t know when or how it would happen but after reading this I wouldn’t have liked it any other way! He said he’d ruin her until she cried and he kept his promise. I liked that it was their last night living together. I saw it like closing that chapter in a way. I also felt like you gave us that bomb ass scene because they’re not gonna have sex again for a while lol.

Im glad YN found a place to live. It was nice having them live together and have easy access to each other but living separately is a nice change and also will bring new plot.

I was shocked to find Jimin so upset about them hooking up again. I was kinda annoyed with him. I was loving Tae so much when he was defending their decision lol. I agree with Jimin somewhat but I don’t agree with how he came at them. I love how calm and collected Jungkook was compared to YN lol. And his “besties for life” line made me lol.

I was nooooot expecting the chapter to end in a big argument! I was kinda annoyed with YN because she was blowing things out of proportion about Esther coming along but I kinda get it a little because I was last minute and she’s not really their friend only Jungkook’s, but still that was more jealousy than actual annoyance at the last minute addition. I think she feels like she’s gonna get replaced because until now she’s been like the only girl in the friend group. Jungkook got stern with her and cursed at her 😳. It’s been a while. He hasn’t really been like that with her since YN was trippin over K!£0…. 🤔 but he’s also wrong for assuming that Esther and YN could share a tent and she wouldn’t mind. He didn’t even ask, he just assumed. He was wrong for that.

So the big question is how the hell is she gonna get Yoongi to go on a friend trip with her?! They aren’t even really friends lol. And she can’t show up without him cause then Jungkook will definitely rub that in her face.

I’m soooo excited! I know YN doesn’t dislike Esther like she did 🥝 so I don’t expect the same type of drama and petty comments to her. I’m so curious what will happen! You are magic, Mimi! Looking forward to the next chapter as always. Take care of yourself and delete all the asks asking for updates lol.

Yes!! Mama Jeon knows now 🥺 one of the reasons why he told her is because they kept asking y/n about him, which made him feel bad because they worry about him. Of course there were other reasons too but I wanted to mention this 🥺

Ahh the 🍣 scene gave me a trouble! First of all, I wanted it to be perfect. I feel like so many of you have waited for it and expected something big, I tried to deliver that. It was hard to write for a certain period of time, I got stuck and then stopped writing it while I continued the story (which I don’t like to do at all because sometimes it can get confusing 😭). I was going back and forth between that scene but in the end, of course I’ve managed to finish it and I’m glad how it ended. Idk if I remember correctly (many thoughts cross my mind while writing) but I think I originally planned the scene to happened on another day ??? Or I know there was something that didn’t go according to the plan 🫣

I’m actually surprised y/n moving out was discussed so much 🫢 it’s completely normal that she wants to have her own home and as much as living with jk was a lot of fun and nice, she can’t stay there forever. What shocked me the most were some ppl in the comments getting mad at jk for not stopping her like 😭 that would be toxic of him! And not having his own opinion lmao

Jimin has surprised us all! I mean you, I knew he was gonna do that 🐸 it’s the fact they’re getting involved with each other this way again, he was like what the fuck is going on

You’re right, he was stern and he can be stern even with her. He got annoyed to because he couldn’t understand why she is so suddenly against Ester. He did feel bad for E at that moment 🫣 he knows her the most out of all of them, so he knows she’s nice and he’s aware of her struggles. Yes, he shouldn’t have assumed anything and my reaction would be the same as y/n’s lol. That part was screaming me 💀 I guess he didn’t think about it enough, he just assumed they could share a tent together since they’re both girls and Maya is with Namjoon so she’s out of the question 😵‍💫 and they probably would share it and y/n would have no problem with it! But she does because of her jealousy and all that 😎 it wasn’t right to assume that anyway, even if jk knew she’d be okay with it under other circumstances. It felt at that moment like she was just going against him purposely. Which she did because she was annoyed and mad at him 🙆‍♀️ oh god, these two are gonna give me a headache!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Maybe he’s not gonna come! It is possible and even more with Yoongi tho. He’s not that person to go out and save the day lol I love how everyone assumes he’s just going 😭😭😭

Thank you so much! I enjoyed reading and replying to this ask!! Btw I absolutely love your icon 🤧🫶❤️‍🔥