#the way some of them thing all the women would want them... delulu

[duoduotian]

i am so um invested in this one tele channel but for my own reasons

[golden-moony]

king of my heart | pt. 2

pairings: lando norris x fem!reader | pato o'ward x fem!reader

warnings: love triangle? kinda.

author's note: go get some popcorn cause we have some drama here🍿... and it's a long part, so enjoy!!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

------------------------------------------------------

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, isahernaez, frosenqvist, and 79,121 others!

yourusername Miami GP over and out ✅🏁 No words could ever explain just how grateful I am for all of you and for the opportunity that I get to cover this amazing sport with such incredible people by my side. Thank you for everything Miami, I hope to see you again soon! 🌴💖

user1 the power she holds 🙌

user2 she's really living my dream 🥹

lissiemackintosh so happy to be able to share this with you!! love u❤️

yourusername we really need to do this more often😘 love u too! user3 y/n and lissie hosting track tv together is my new roman empire fr user4 SLAY QUEENS!! user5 the queens are thriving user6 i wanna be friends with them so bad 😫

user7 omg girl you're STUNNING

user8 BEST F1 WAG

user9 facts facts facts user10 she's not even a wag lol it's so obvious lando just keeps this nobody around for when he's bored and horny user11 user10 this "nobody" has done SO much in terms of women representation in motorsport, she's hardworking and a lovely woman. meanwhile, you're just a sad little person who's jealous of her because she's successful and close to your crush, who doesn't even know who you are. so get a life and stop embarrassing yourself. user12 user11 SAY IT LOUDER 👏 user13 user11 PREACH!!!

user14 i don't know if i wanna be her or be with her😩

user15 this is such a mood tbh

landonorris so proud of you, boo😍

yourusername 🥰🧡 user16 YNLANDO NATION WE WON user17 we love a supporting boyfriend 🤩 user18 i want what they have, your honor user19 is this considered a soft launch or what? user20 y'all are delulu😂 it's so obvious they're just friends user21 user20 girl being delulu is the solulu 🙌

user22 so when are we gonna talk about felix liking the post?

user23 i'm lost sorry, who's felix? user24 user23 he's pato's teammate in indycar and one of his besties user25 if felix liked then WHERE'S PATO user26 user25 doing more important things than being focused on this girl.

lilymhe such a pretty girl 💗

alex_albon should i be jealous? yourusername you should indeed. can u fight? user24 the friendship i didn't know i needed 🥹 user25 MY FAV WAGS INTERACTING YAY

user26 f1 is so lucky to have you!!!

user27 LOOOL why would they be lucky to have her?😂😂😂 she's nothing special user28 user27 and yet she's still rising 💅 user29 user27 then why are you even on her post? lol obsessed much?

user30 my role model ❤️‍🩹

📞 incoming call

[y/n; normal] [pato; cursive]

"...Hello? Did you butt-dialed me or something?"

"Uhm, hi. It's not a butt-dial. I-I actually just wanted to talk to you. Hear your voice, y'know. I've been kinda missing you."

"Oh really? And here I was thinking that your cold behavior toward me over the past three weeks meant that you didn't want anything to do with me. Silly me, I guess."

"I-I'm... [sighs]. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. About the way I've been treating you. I'm sorry, y/n. I really am sorry. I know I've been a total jerk-"

"Yeah, you can put it that way."

"...I've been a total jerk and I regret it very much. You didn't deserve it at all. I just- I'm not trying to excuse my awful behavior but I just think I got- Uhm..."

"You got what?"

"Well... I saw Lando's instagram story when you went back to Monaco, as you've probably already figured it out. And I think- Well... I got jealous. And I know it probably sounds stupid now but at the time it felt like a punch in the face."

"Pato..."

"I know I didn't and still have absolutely no business to be jealous about you and Lando, cause you and I are not dating or anything and you don't owe me any kind of explanation about the type of relationship you have with him. But after the great time we spend together in Long Beach... I don't know, it just hurted seeing you with him. But that doesn't excuse anything and I just regret so much the way I've been treating you since then, it hasn't been fair to you at all."

"And it didn't cross your mind that we could have had this conversation way before now? I mean, you waited three weeks to finally talk to me like a decent human being, how-"

"I know and I'm so-"

"Let me finish."

"Sorry, go on."

"However, I do appreciate that you're finally acknowledging all of this and communicating with me like an actual adult. I know it's not always easy to do. And although I don't owe you any kind of explanation, I just want you to know that there's nothing going on between Lando and me."

"So you and him...?"

"We're friends and that's it. We care for each other but there's nothing going on."

"Oh... well, thanks for clarifying that for me."

"Yeah, yeah. You'll have to work harder for my forgiveness, anyway. I appreciate the call but it won't be that easy for you."

"Is that so?"

"You've heard me."

"In that case, what would you say if I invite you for a few days to come here to Punta Mita? Maybe that'll help me a little to earn your forgiveness."

"... I'm sorry, what!?"

"You've heard me."

"You're joking. You have to be joking."

"I'm not joking. You're still in Miami, right?"

"I am..."

"Great! My brother in law is in Miami too and he'll take the jet tomorrow morning. If you want to, you can join him and come here with him! We'd be thrilled to have you here too."

"Oh my God... Pato, I don't know what to say!"

"Say yes and you'd make this birthday boy the happiest man in the world. You'd even make my sister happy, I've been telling her a lot about you and now she's eager to meet you."

"I hope you've been telling her good things about me, then."

"Only the best. She's even on your side, y'know. Said I was being a giant cabrón and needed to make things right. She wasn't wrong tho."

"[giggles] Fine. I'll go, but I'm only doing this for your sister."

"I'll take that anyway! I'll let Brett know you'll join him and I'll send you the details, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Now go and pack your bags for tomorrow."

"Hey! Don't get bosy with me, mister!"

"[Laughs] Fine. Take care, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you, birthday boy!"

patriciooward posted to his story!

[caption 1; 🦈] [caption 2; beautiful views]

yourusername posted to their story!

[caption 1; para-para-paradise 🌞] [caption 2; in his sharkboy era] [caption 3; 🐶❤️]

paddockgossips

liked by magui_corceiro and 84,091 others!

paddockgossips Among the alleged "breakup" between y/n and Lando, the McLaren driver was photographed last night having fun in a Monaco club in the company of Max Fewtrell and other friends. Some sources have said that Lando seemed very cozy with a blonde woman at the party, whom he later left with. However, we cannot verify this information in any way, so it remains a rumor.

user1 I HAVE A CHANCE AGAIN (i'm delulu)

user2 so this confirms ynlando is over?? 😭

user3 girl i'm devastated 😭😭😭 user4 i'm still in denial user5 well they were never together to begin with user6 user5 THIS!! people act like they were a couple when they NEVER confirmed anything 😂

user7 "blonde woman at the party" "it remains a rumor" and magui goes and like the post LOL

user8 she's so desperate for attention🙄 user9 who's magui??? user10 user9 she's kika's friend and she was dating football player João Félix not so long ago (in fact, i thought they were still together lol) user11 user10 and don't forget she's a cheater. user12 user9 she's trouble

user13 yn >>>>>>>> magui

user14 user13 no need to compare them

user15 sorry but single lando it's so hot 🥵

user16 SO TRUE user17 FACTS he looks so good omfg

user18 in his heartbreaker era 😎

user19 in his reputation era 😎 user20 in his idgaf era 😎

user21 i'm a child of divorce fr

user22 i know y'all love y/n for some reason but i'm SO glad lando finally got away from her.

user23 SAME. and if magui makes him happy then great for him user24 stfu i'm mourning here

user25 y/n this magui that but max was, is and will forever be lando's true wag💅

user26 the one and only indeed

elbaoward posted to her story!

[caption1; off to dinner] [caption2; my love🤍] [caption 3; lovebirds!]

patriciooward

liked by landonorris, yourusername, brettkimbro, and 86,382 others!

patriciooward BDAY WKND DUMP 📸 thank y'all for all the love❤️‍🔥

user1 THE HARD LAUNCH IT'S HARD LAUNCHING

user2 OMG IT'S HAPPENING EVERYBODY STAY CAAAAALM

user3 he really said i'll give you what you want: thrist traps and y/n... and he's so real for that

user4 he really knows his audience user5 king behavior if u ask me user6 everybody say thank you Pato 🙏

user7 YNPATO NATION HOW ARE WE FEELING??

user8 I'M STILL SPEECHLESS user9 they're so perfect i wanna cry😭 user10 LOVE TO SEE🔥

user11 as a ynlando shipper i have to admit they're cute but ngl this still hurts 😩

user12 MOOD user13 ynlando will always be in our hearts 🥺 user14 ynlando >>>>>>>>>> ynpato user15 user13 girl grow up.

user16 THAT SHOULD BE ME

elbaoward where are my credits for the last pic? cuties🤍

user17 u literally gave us the cutest pic ever user18 elba thank you so much for your service🫡 user19 elba is ynpato's #1 fan and you can't tell me otherwise user20 elba is just like us fr user21 LOVE YOU ELBAAAAA 🩷

user22 MOM AND DAD

user23 can't believe how fast she moved on and got together with this dude lol lando really dodged a bullet with her

user24 how fast she moved on?? girl y/n and lando were never even together so stfu user25 ???? why are you even on pato's ig post? go away user26 user23 y/n is such an attention seeker and yet everyone loves her, i'll never understand it 🥱

user27 not to be that person but i would KILL to be that piñata😏

user28 MOOD

frosenqvist oh to be tanned, young and in love

patriciooward 😜 user29 IN LOVE??? FELIX BESTIE TELL US MORE user30 i don't know about y'all but this is all the confirmation i need about ynpato being real, bye user31 i think i can hear the wedding bells user32 user31 yesss and felix as pato's best man

user33 bestie don't be shy and drop more y/n pics 🫶

user34 i second the motion !!!

user35 NOT LANDO LIKING THE POST LOOOOL

user36 he is so unserious i love him user37 ICONIC BEHAVIOR TBH user38 yeah but i just know he's crying inside user39 user38 for what? lol lando knows he's so much better than this cheaper version of him. user40 user39 i'm so done with people like you who insult pato just because you cannot defend lando with good arguments.

yourusername magical weekend 💖

patriciooward with you there? always user41 STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE OMG user42 this is such an upgrade tbh user43 SO HAPPY FOR THEM 🥹 user44 what a bitch.

yourusername posted to their story!

[caption 1; back to reality✈️] [caption 2; I'm a high performance athlete. Athletes sweat. Sweat, baby] [caption 3; cutest model🧡]

paddockgossips

liked by magui_corceiro and 53,237 other people!

paddockgossips NEW WAG ALERT? 🚨 Magui Corceiro, the Portuguese model and actress, attended the Monaco GP after being seen a few days ago having lunch with Lando. It has been rumored that they could be in a relationship, especially since Lando and y/n apparently went different ways, and Corceiro's presence in the paddock has not gone unnoticed by anyone. Still, neither Lando nor Magui have confirmed or denied these rumors.

user1 A TRIGGER WARNING WOULD BE NICE NEXT TIME

user2 um let's hope there isn't a next time user3 user2 let's pray girl, let's pray 🙏

user4 "neither lando nor magui have confirmed or denied these rumors" well that's bs cause she just liked the post

user5 istg she's trying so hard to get attention user6 lando was asked about magui and he said she was just a friend... and then she goes and does this lol what a clout chaser user7 and people used to say that y/n was after lando's fame and yet she NEVER did anything like this user8 she's such a pick me girl

user9 everything i know of this girl has been against my will istg

user10 SAME

user11 oh good luck lando

user12 oh be prepared for the y/n fans and little girls that'll come attack magui when she hasn't even done anything wrong

user13 literally they're just mad at magui cause she's dating their fav driver loool user14 they're only jealous cause magui is a gorgeous woman user15 user14 she's gorgeous but she's still a snake

user16 i'd ask why lando would be with someone like her, but then i remember he's an adult and if he wants someone like her by his side then that's up to him. let's not treat him like a baby please

user17 say👏 it👏 louder👏

user18 weeeeell if this is the kind of people lando likes to have around then i guess y/n really dodged a bullet with him

user19 FACTS user20 i mean at the end of the day he's just another privileged white boy, so🤷‍♀️ user21 i really don't get all the hate that she's getting, is she really that problematic? user22 user21 girl google it yourself but yeah, she is

user23 I MISS MY GIRL Y/N WHERE IS SHEEEEEEEE??

user24 what is she even doing there?

user25 must be cause lando wanted her to be there user26 why y'all never asked the same thing about y/n? y'all are such hypocrites istg user27 user26 cause y/n was actually doing her job????? user28 user26 oh you're stupid 😂😂

user29 magui in the paddock, pato not being able to finish Indy 500... it really is a shitty day huh

user30 DON'T EVEN REMIND ME WHAT HAPPENED WITH PATO OMFG user31 I'M STILL SO MAD ABOUT PATO user32 the only good part is that y/n and his family were there for him ❤️‍🩹

see y'all in part 3!

taglist: @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @evie-119 @evans-dejong @minkyungseokie @noneofyourfbusinessworld @bernelflo @eiaaasamantha @ijustgomessitupx @honethatty12 @daemyratwst @f1fan65

(if you'd like to be tagged in the next part, just let me know in the comments!🧡)

[thelov3lybookworm]

Hey! I'm the one with the ' delulu' request. I mean like yn and AZ were mates and they found out before the amarantha thing happened. And while when Rhysand was attending the ball(?) That trapped the high lords, Yn was with him too as his second-women(kinda you know) and then they can't get out and lose connection to thier family and in those 50 years the red head bitch kills yn just to torment Rhys and he literally can't do anything about it. When everyone is free and with thier family, happy and all, az is happy too that Rhys came home but he just wont(can't) accept the fact that yn is dead and is never coming back. He's delusional (delulu).

Don't grieve.

Summary: Azriel's going mad, and he won't except it.

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: mental illness. this bitch's gonna hurt

A/n: hey anon! I beg for your forgiveness because it took me so long to write this. Please don't hate me, and please tell me you forgive me or else I'll go and cry in a corner, making no noise, pretending I don't exist 😭

(Also, i hope I didn't misunderstand what you wanted azzie to be delulu about)

•○🌑○•

Azriel paced back and forth, having just been informed by his shadows that his High Lord had returned.

It had been fifty years since Azriel had seen Rhysand.

And it had been fifty years since he had seen her.

And now they were back.

The Shadows hadn't mentioned anything about his mate though, but he let it slide, planning on interrogating them later. For now, he needed to see his brother and his mate.

•○🌑○•

Azriel barged in through the door to the sitting room, finding Mor, Cassian and Amren already there. All of them, except Amren, had tears in their eyes.

Azriel took in the whole place, noting that his mate wasn't in the room. Maybe she was freshening up?

His heart rate picked up, the urge to go find her overpowering any rational thought he had.

But then his eyes landed on his brother, and he grinned. In what felt like an eternity, Azriel grinned.

Rhysand looked like he'd been through hell and back, which he technically had. He had lost so much of his weight and muscles, his skin color also having become pale. In short, he looked sick.

Rhys gave Azriel a pained smile back, but Azriel didn't think much of it. Azriel briskly walked up to his brother and pulled him in for a hug, laughing.

When Azriel pulled back, his eyes again went around the room in search of his mate.

But again, she was not here.

"Where's Y/n? Is she freshening up?"

Everyone looked away from him, and Azriel's smile faltered. But then he grinned and muttered. "Are you trying to keep my mate away from me? You do know that that won't work though, don't you? I'll have my shadows bring me to her."

No one spoke, until the silence became unbearable and Cassian broke it. "Az..."

Azriel glanced at Cassian, his brows farrowing. "What's going on you people? Are you about to ask me for ransom to see my mate?"

Azriel was beeing more cheerful than he usually was, but maybe that's what a mating bond did to people. What meeting your mate after five decades did to people. Azriel blinked when nobody laughed. Mor gasped for breath as more tears ran down her face, sniffling.

"Azriel... Y/n, she... is gone." Rhys responded.

"Gone where?"

"To where the–"

"She's dead, boy." Amren put a stop to Rhys's pathetic explanation.

And she did nothing to gentle the blow.

Y/n wasn't dead. Azriel refused to believe that. And that only meant this was some elaborate joke they were playing on him.

He laughed. "What?"

Mor turned to him, pity and sympathy shining from her eyes. "She's gone Azriel. She will never come back. Amarantha... she..."

Rhysand toom a deep breath, nodding to himself before speaking, as if he was trying to convince himself. "Amarantha wanted to control me, and the only way she could do that was by torturing Y/n. The bitch one day decided she was bored and let her cronies as well as many other fae bastards, mostly from Autumn Court, tear into Y/n. She watched, wanting to see how long Y/n would be able to hold up. I don't think Amarantha thought they would kill her, as that would mean there was no one she could use to control me. But Y/n died by the hands of her cronies."

Azriel smiled lazily. "You really think I believe the bullshit you are spewing right now? Come now, Rhys, you should know better than that. Fifty years under that mountain has made you lose your head. Go take a nice long bath, fly around Velaris for some time. A little fresh air after fifty years of routing under there would do you good. Maybe– hopefully– clear the garbage up there."

Azriel turned away, walking towards the door when a shadow slithered up to his ear and whispered that Y/n was nowhere in Velaris.

"Hmm. Maybe she decided to take a vacation with a friend of hers?"

That was stupid, considering there was no way in hell that Y/n would rather be with a friend than come to meet Az. But that was the only reason he could think of, because he would not, not in a million years, accept that Y/n was dead.

He walked towards the door, his posture relaxed as he opened the door. He glanced back once, giving the bewildered looking inner circle a smile, and called, "See you later. Have some work to do."

•○🌑○•

Shadows pov.

Azriel was practically waltzing as he went around the kitchen, getting all the ingredients he needed as he mixed the batter for the cake, humming a tune she loved.

"She loved chocolate so much. Do you think she'll be surprised?"

He asked his shadows, who simply floated around him, not daring to correct his thoughts. The one time they had, Azriel had launched into a screaming fit, so loud that nearly the whole of Velaris would have heard him.

So they watched as their master continued mixing the batter, then pouring it into a mould. He was all alone in the house, having moved in with Y/n into their new home soon after accepting the bond.

"She will turn four hundred and fifty this year. Can you imagine? It will be so exciting! I just wish she returned home soon."

It had been one year since the High Lord of Night Court had returned, and their master still refused to believe that his mate was no longer alive.

A knock sounded on the door, and Azriel looked up. He walked towards the door, opening it to find Cassian standing on the front porch, smiling.

"Come on in." Azriel spoke, turning away and walking back into the kitchen.

The Shadows watched as the general took in the mess around the kitchen. He swallowed before speaking.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm baking a cake for Y/n. She loved it when I did. It's her birthday today."

Pity entered the General's eyes at the enthusiasm in the shadows' Master's voice.

"Az..." Cassian began gently, but he stopped when Azriel's head whipped up, fury shining in his hazel eyes. The general swallowed again. "That's amazing."

Azriel smiled. "You can have some too if you want. But you would have to save some for her. She will be pissed if you ate all of it."

"Are you for real? I can have some too? Thank you so much Az."

Azriel nodded, smiling happily.

"Did you come here for a reason? Was there something you needed to tell me about?"

The General cleared his throat. "Uh yes. I was sent by Rhys. He wanted to know if you wanted to go on a mission today."

"Why?"

"Oh its just... there has been unrest in one of the Illyrian camps, and Rhys wanted to send someone to check on it. He was hoping you would want to go, but if not, he'll have to send someone else."

The Shadows knew that wasn't the only reason. It was because today was Y/n's birthday, and the high lord wanted to make sure the spymaster had something to occupy his time with instead of wallowing in her memories.

"He'll have to send someone else. It's her birthday today. I can't go on missions today."

The General clenched his jaw, nodding. "See you later then, brother."

The Shadows watched their master nod, cleaning around the kitchen. The general turned away, heading for the door.

"Take care brother." Azriel called, and the general waved before he left.

•○🌑○•

She was smiling at him from the opposite end of the tent.

She looked beautiful in the simple flowy white gown, and he felt like he was falling in love all over again.

Everything was settled, Koschei and the human queens removed from the picture, and most of them were unscathed.

Most of them.

Azriel wasn't.

He had been caught by the human queens guards, held captive and tortured for information while war raged outside.

After the war had been won, his brothers had found him dying in the torture chamber, waiting for his death. They had brought him to the tent in which Madja was operating, the inner circle rushing in behind them.

As he lay bleeding and battered on a table in the healers tent, his family gathered around him, he thought it a fitting end for him. He tortured people his whole life, and he was going to meet his end in a similar way.

"Hold on Az, just a few more moments. Everything will be fine." Rhys mumbled.

Azriel shook his head, his eyes never leaving his mate's. "Let me die. Maybe then I will meet my love again."

"She–"

"Died. I know. I was probably hoping there'd be a miracle. Or maybe I was just delusional."

"Az, please, just hold on."

His mate smiled at him, and Azriel's chest felt lighter than ever. He watched her intently as she stood from the chair she was in, making her way over to him. He gave her a small smile.

"She is here now."

Everyone stiffened. "What are you talking about Az?" Cassian questioned.

Azriel vaguely motioned towards her, as he couldn't move much without his body seizing up. "She is here. Let me go, brothers. I'll finally able to be with her again."

"What do you mean she is here?" Cassian had gone pale, frantically looking around. "No one is here."

Y/n came to stand next to the table. She observed Cassian and the rest of the inner circle before turning back to Azriel. "They can't see me." She smiled gently, glowing slightly. And Azriel watched her the way he'd watched her the first time he'd seen her. His mouth gaping open at her beauty, his eyes slightly wide. "How are you my love?"

"Miserable." He whispered.

She nodded. "I can understand. It hurt when I was dying too." She then took a deep breath, as if steadying herself. "We do not have much time. You only have two options. You can either choose to let the healers help and live, or let it all go."

"If- if I let it all go... will I be with you?"

His beloved nodded. "But I wish you would let the healers help you. I want you to love a long and happy life."

Her voice was sad and strained, as if she didn't want to say them but had to.

"But I want to be with you. I can't live a happy life without you."

"Then let go Azriel. Let it all go. Say goodbye." Her eyes glittered. "I will be here when you rise."

He didn't know what she meant by rise, but he was too tired to care. His body was numb at this point, his eyes drooping, begging for some rest.

Azriel glanced at his family, who stared at him in confusion. He'd simply been whispering, and they apparently couldn't see her. Of course they would be confused.

Azriel have them a satisfied smile. "Tell them to leave me alone. The healers."

"Why?" Rhys's voice broke on the word.

"Because she's here, and we can be together again. So let me go brother."

"Azriel... please brother. Don't give up so quickly."

Azriel shook his head, his eyes starting to close.

"Don't miss me to much. Don't grieve. Be happy."

The healers had stopped working on him the moment he began speaking, and by now he had lost too much blood.

Thank the mother.

Just then, Azriel felt as if he was stepping out of a tight suit. Like he had become weightless, lighter than air.

He blinked his eyes open, which he could do without any resistance. He looked around, seeing everything clearly. Hear every sound clearly.

Then he sat up, but no one paid him any mind. He blinked in confusion, as his eyes searched the room. His eyes landed on the figure nearby, smiling softly at him.

Y/n.

She lifted her hand towards him, beckoning him closer, and he drifted to her. As soon as his hand met hers, he felt like he was home, finally.

Y/n's eyes went behing him, sadness painting her features. He followed her gaze to a heartbreaking sight.

There, around the table where his body was, where he had been, the inner circle wept.

Cassian was bent over the table, his head was on Azriel's chest as he screamed and sobbed at the top of his lungs, tears rolling down onto Azriel's armor. His fingers were curled into the metal of Az's armor, so tightly that blood had begun welling in some of the places.

Rhys was leaning on the table, staring at Azriel's face, tears running down his face and dripping onto the table. He did nothing, just stared, devastation on his face. He gave no reaction when Feyre placed a hand on his arm.

Feyre herself was crying, a hand over her mouth to contain her sobs. Mor buried her head in Feyre's neck, clutching her tightly as the blonde cried.

Then there was Nesta, who stared at Azriel too, her hand on her mate's back to comfort him as he continued screaming, the agonising roars echoing through the silent night.

Amren, who had been standing near the Azriel's foot, quietly walked up to his head. She dragged a hand through his blood caked hair, sucking in a sharp breath. She looked distraught, and that was big thing for Amren. She then leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Azriel's head beside turning on her heel and waking out the tent.

Azriel turned to his mate, who gave him a shaky smile. He returned it, and after a final glance at his family, he let her lead him away.

It was only a matter of time before they had to go back to their normal lifestyle.

Azriel only hoped they didn't grieve him for long.

•○🌑○•

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @lizziesfirstwife

[moonlightndaydreams]

Room 143 | idol!han x fem!reader \ part 4

1k followers celebration story

If someone had told you that you would have one night with Han Jisung, you would have laughed in their face.

Read Part 1 here | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Delulu! Absolute delulu! Last year I wrote a little fic about y/n going to the concert and by chance having a night of passion with the yummy Han Jisung. I thought it might be nice to revisit it with a rework (the original had an original female character but I’m changing it to y/n).

Chapter summary: you go to the concert and say goodbye (there’s more to it, but I don’t want to spoil it.)

CW: angst, sexual tension, almost sex.

Before you knew it, you were seated in the arena with the perfect view of the extended stage. The atmosphere was buzzing as Stay were getting excited. Before the show you were able to get a behind the scenes glimpse into what goes into a production like this. It was fascinating and you felt grateful for the opportunity to see how it all came together. Sitting next to you two young women, probably around nineteen, started chatting to you.

“This is SO exciting!!! How long have you been a Stay?” the black haired girl asked. You were embarrassed to admit it had only been a few months.

“Oh so you’re a Baby Stay?” the lighter haired girl said excitedly, and leaned forward. “Do you have a bias?” she asked wiggling her eyebrows. What the hell were you supposed to say? Did you have a bias? “Kind of?” You squeaked. “What about you?” You quickly deflected the question.

“Jisung.” The black haired girl cooed, closing her eyes, imagining her bias.

“Oh!” You choked and cleared your throat. “Yeah, I like him too.” You said smiling. You wondered if she’s imagined him between her legs? How many people in this room have visualized him doing all sorts of obscene things to them? Oh god y/n, stop. Just stop. Focus.

You watched Han as he performed their stages, and you couldn’t take your eyes off him. Everything he did on stage was magic. Whether he was rapping, singing like an angel, or being a goof-ball during the intermissions, he was captivating. Stay loved his sense of humor, and listened intently as he told them about going to the pool with Lee Know and just walking around in the water.

He didn’t really search for you in the audience, instead focusing all his attention on performing for their fans. Muddy Water was next, which meant that Han and just three other members were going to wander around the second stage in a less structured and choreographed way. You knew it was going to be a treat. Han fucking Jisung looked so fucking hot strutting around that stage. All of them did. When it was his turn to rap, you could really hear how skilled, smooth and talented his mouth was, and imagined what it’d be like to have him rap in your ear in his bedroom voice. You couldn’t help but think about that mouth between your legs only hours before, giving you the best orgasm of your life.

Oh God it was the best orgasm of your life. You felt an ache between your legs and a moistness developing. Surely you’re not the only one here horny in this place? You crossed your legs and ignored the pressure that was building.

Shaking your head to jolt yourself back to reality, you looked up at the stage to see Han had stopped in front of you and was making eye contact with some of the nearby fans. His eyes found yours and he smirked and brought two fingers, the two that were inside you earlier, up to his mouth and licked them, then winked at you. The horror on your face made him laugh as he continued to wander the stage.

It was quite a flurry after the show. You were ushered backstage where you met Han in a corridor.

“What did you think? Did you have fun? What was your favorite part?” he bombarded you enthusiastically with questions.

“It was fucking amazing! All of it!” You squealed excitedly. Han beamed at you, “And your favorite part?” he looked at you devilishly.

“Ummm…” You thought for a moment. “The part where Chan lifts his shirt in Charmer.” You teased. Han’s face turned to feigned disapproval, like you were a traitor.

“Okay, okay…” You laughed. “I really loved it when you hit the high notes in Hellevator.”

He looked proud and happy. “Was that the only part you liked?”

What was he pushing for? Oh. You realized what he was hinting at. “Yes, yes… In Muddy Water you reminded a fan of something you are very good at doing.” You stated coolly, but you felt like you were going red.

Han grinned and raised an eyebrow. “Did I?” he said pretending he had no idea what you were talking about.

“Hannie!” a voice interrupted. You turned to see Chan ushering you both into a room.

“Come, join us Y/n.” Han gestured for you to lead the way.

You entered a rather large, unremarkable space, much like a conference room. Several black couches were positioned around the room, and there were so many people chatting excitedly. You assumed they were staff of some sort. The room smelled of sweat and deodorant and although you knew the air conditioner would be cranking, it wasn’t enough to cut through how hot the night was. You were sweating too, the thick band tshirt clinging to your skin. Your makeup had probably melted off long ago. You felt so un-sexy.

“Come meet some of the guys.” Han said, holding your elbow and guiding you over to the right side of the room. “This is Lee Know.”

Sitting on the black leather couch in front of you was the most intimidating man you had ever seen. He wordlessly glared at Han as if to say “How fucking dare you bring a woman home.” Han made an innocent face, and blinked his big gorgeous doe-eyes that said “I haven’t done anything wrong… Can we keep her?”

You stood there awkwardly. Was MInsung really a thing? They both looked at you and burst out laughing. “Come on Hyung, we are not on stage anymore!” Han whined. Lee Know’s face softened and he bowed his head, greeting you politely. “Hello, nice to meet you. Did you have a nice night?” Lee Know smiled. Maybe he wasn’t as intimidating as you first thought. Just a man of few words.

Han continued to introduce you to the other members and some of their staff. Everyone was really polite, and you wondered how often they see this situation. Does Han find a girl in every city?

“Would you like a drink? Are you thirsty?” Han pointed to a table with bottles of water. He opened a bottle before handing it to you, and grabbed one for himself. You were so parched that you had already nearly finished the bottle by the time you sat down on one of the couches.

Han grinned at you sheepishly. “You know, y/n… I have a secret.” He leaned in close “You know when I licked my fingers in Muddy Water?” You felt your skin burn up at the memory. “I could still taste you.”

Your stomach dropped and arousal hit you like a flash flood. Your vagina clenched with need. Why did he have to say that? You looked away only to lock eyes on the beauty that was Hyunjin. He was sitting on a nearby couch watching you curiously. The look in his eyes made you feel like he was reading your mind and that he knew exactly what Han had just said, and what he was referring to, even though he wasn’t even in earshot. He parted his mouth and his tongue slid slightly along his lip like he was concentrating on something really hard.

You swallowed and tore your eyes away, preferring to stare at the floor instead.

“You don’t think I’m weird do you?” Han whispered. You lifted your head to look at him. He looked worried.

Embarrassed, you smiled and shook your head. “No… it was kind of… hot.” You admitted.

“Excuse me…sorry.” A middle aged woman politely interrupted. Yo were relieved. She had perfect timing. “We are taking you back to the hotel now.” Your heart dropped. Already? You snapped your head back to Han. He looked crestfallen. Did it feel too soon for him too?

“I’ll walk her out to the car.” He insisted. The woman bowed and nodded.

—-

Han walked with you along corridor that led to where the vehicles were waiting. You couldn’t believe this was over already. You walked in silence. Each step you took was a step closer to goodbye. You fucking hated it. You had almost reached the exit door, when Han suddenly grabbed your arm and pulled you through a side door and into a some sort of dimly lit storage room.

“I didn’t really think that’d be unlocked.” He said surprised, referring to the door.

“Han what are you doing? The car… it’s waiting for me.” You protested.

“I need to kiss you… feel you… one more time.” He purred.

He gently pushed you against the wall, pressing his body against you and moaning low. His hands slowly roamed your body. His lips found yours. Oh god you wanted him. You wanted him to take you then and there. Your heart pounded as your body silently screamed for him. You pulled his hips hard against you so you could feel how much he wanted you too.

You peeled your mouth away from his, but his lips landed on your neck, making you swoon. “I have to go…” You whimpered. Every part of you wanted him to ignore your words and keep you there longer.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.” He panted and pressed his head against yours. “I could just take you right here… right now… if you wanted me to. Do you want me to, baby?”

You looked into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity as you silently considered how possible, how easy, it would really be for him to hike your skirt up and slip himself inside of you.

“I want you to…” You whispered. Han exhaled and his hand flew to the button on his jeans. Adrenaline coursed through you as your body anticipated what was about to happen.

You only managed to glance at his mouthwatering cock for a moment before he slid your skirt up to your waist and lifted you against the wall.

His mouth was on yours again, his tongue exploring, as he pressed himself between your legs.

His cock rubbed against your drenched panties, the tip pressing against your entrance. You both groaned at the barrier of the fabric that was stopping him from penetrating you.

His hands squeezed your ass making you moan into his mouth. Then you felt his fingers, encroaching the edge of your underwear. He hooked a finger under the seam, yanking it to the side, giving him access.

“Hurry.” You whimpered, desperately needing to feel him inside you.

“I’ve got you, baby.” He promised, as he grasped his cock, ready to line himself up with you.

Your eyes rolled back just from the tip of his cock grazing against your folds.

“Hey are you in here!?” a deep voice said as the door flew open, startling you both.

“God. S-ssorry…” It was Felix. “Guys… Um…they’re asking if you still need a lift, Y/n.” Felix eyes were everywhere but on you.

Han looked at you sadly. “Yeah. I’ll walk her out. Just give me second.” He said solemnly, lowering you back in your feet, and putting his cock away.

This time, Han really did walk you to the car. It was raining outside. You felt heavy. You wanted to cry. You wanted to cling onto him. You didn't want this to end.

Han apologized to the driver saying he was to blame, not you, for making them wait.

“Bye Y/n.” He said as you stepped into the van and took your seat.

As you were driven away, Han didn’t move to go back inside. He just stood there in the pouring rain, watching the van drive away. You watched him too, for as long as you could, before the van turned the corner and you could no longer see him.

It was over.

-----

You got back to the hotel and had a long, hot shower (even though the night was still stinking hot). Today had been like a dream. From running into 3Racha in the morning, to having Han Jisung going down on you, to the incredible VIP treatment at the concert, to almost having sex with him in a storage room. If only Felix hadn’t barged in, you would have been able to feel him inside of you.

You sighed deeply, as the water washed any trace of Han off your skin. Your mind flashed to him watching you drive away earlier that night. Today would be hard to get over. You felt a pang in your chest.

Don't you dare get sad.

You slid into bed and pulled out a drawstring bag from the side table and shimmied off your panties. Today might be hard to get over, but you were still horny. Pulling out your small bullet vibrator, you let your mind drift off to thoughts of Han Jisung standing nervously in your hotel room. Han Jisung holding you close, kissing your body as he made his way down to the place he drove you wild. Han Jisung's fingers inside of you.  Han Jisung on stage. Han Jisung fucking you in a storage room. Han Jisung knocking on your door.

Han Jisung knocking on your door?

Your eyes flicked open as you registered the tiny knock on the hotel room door.

What the fuck? The intrusion scared you, your heart almost flung out of your chest, pumping adrenaline through your veins. There is no way this could possibly be -

You tossed the toy on the bed, padded to the door and cracked it open.

It was Han fucking Jisung.

@noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @xxkissesforchanniexx @starr-lvst @queenmea604 @queen-in-the-shadows @bethanysnow @newhope8 @vanillacupcakefrosting @3rachasdomesticbanana @fun-fanfics @palindrome969 @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @yaorzu-blog @armystay89 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @everythingboutkpop @jiminssluttyminx

@sunnyhonie @minnieprincess85 @krayzieestay @stanskzot8

[leviismybby]

However, I don't know how to feel about Levi because of the real source material (Isayama interviews, smartpass story and side material like that…) and the 'professional' Japanese translators on this blog. I think he really is, according to the correct Japanese translations and Isayama interviews, he is really dragging humanity through the mud for his personal feelings… and he is someone who is floating and aimless because of Erwin's death… So much so that Isayama even thought of killing him many times because he didn't know what to do about him and threw him aside… also I guess he has no interest in women… oh and Ackerbond is probably real… I know it's not a canon ship and I know he's not in love, but that doesn't mean it's not written too reductively to Erwin. And it disgusts me…

Because of the source material, side material, canon discourse and Japanese translator blogs, my opinion of him is changing more and more and I think I will throw my LevixOc project in the trash… Levi is really someone who (because of Isayama's writing) has been hypnotized by Erwin's own goals and has taken control of Levi's entire character and actions. I don't think I could take him (or s/o) out of this hypnosis.

I know you can say "Isayama's opinions can change" or "only what is in the manga is canon" and I used to hide behind that for consolation, but I realized that once Isayama said it, it was true and it stayed there. And I think the interviews are necessary to understand the content of the scenes etc. in the manga.

Even analysis is no longer a comfort for me… after all, why need complicated writing when interviews and manga are the source of what really happened there…

I guess he's not the character I thought I wanted… I wish he was his own man… I wish he wasn't a character to be discarded just because he died because of another character… or someone who is too picky and only accepts high standards… (this is just my own opinion based on the manga and the material/opinions I think Canon!Levi would be like that)

I'm deeply disappointed… As delulu as the Eruri fandom is, most of what they say is unfortunately true… after all, they take real sources and cite them as evidence… I don't think they are mistranslating because there are professional cold-blooded translators in this fandom and most of them quote what that blog says…

I wish I had never encountered this fandom and this character, so I wouldn't have to be so upset all these years…

Except that half of the interviews are either fake, completely twisted or don't exist. Especially that flaoting ballon bullshit, which a lot of Japanese fans say wasn't even said.

I will this again, please read the manga on your own and base your opinions on Levi on your own.

Since you already mention Eruri and i might ruin your day here but Eruri is as canon and Levihan is, it isn't. No Levi never prirotized Erwin over humanity and you'll understand that if you read the manga for yourself and analyse it for yourself without letting the fandom get to you.

Levi is his own man, he has his brain to think with and the only people who think he doesn't are shippers. Not once did Levi put his own selfish desires before humanity for anyone, he was as sad about Erwin's death as he was for the rest of his comrads. Not a single instance in the manga/anime or any actual official interviews given by Isayama was Levi reduced to Erwin, only a shipper would think that way. Oh and Ackerbond thing too, not only is that damaging to Levi's character, it is just creppy and definitely not a thing.

I am sorry anon but it seems like you don't understand Levi and his character at all. Isayama always said that Erwin and Levi were equal and sworn friends, he didn't say that because he hid some sort of hidden romance between the two, he said it because that's how it is, its a strong bond of trust and commandership and reducing it only to "Oh Levi is a love sick puppy who only cares about Erwin." is a mischaractertion at max.

My advice to you is to take a break from the fandom is they are making you not like your oc x Levi anymore, that's the best way to get them out of your head and please, base your own opinions, not what people online say.

[lawbin-archive]

Lawbin Wano Analysis Part 2 - you're not alone anymore

I actually want to wait Law to reappear before writing this analysis but we probably need to wait a long time for him to reappear *sigh* So I will just finish writing this :'( this is the last part but also imo the most romantic part haha

Since I have talked about this chapter for sooo many times, so I will try to talk about something that I haven't mention before. But if I said the same thing again, just scroll through haha -> *INCLUDE MANGA SPOILERS*

-> highlighted in purple are my delulu~

-> Again, don't read if you don't like Lawbin. Includes lots of bias.

~LAWBIN DATING PHASE~ ~LAWBIN A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN FRIENDS PHASE~

Chapter 1055: Learning history with you

my bias ass want to say they are literally dating here!!! again I think I have been reading too much fanfic so in my mind, they definitely went on a date after I don't care what other says.

The little bickering they have in the beginning is so adorable! Like Robin knew exactly why Law follow along but she needs to tease him a bit haha

Law searching through the whole palace or the whole flower capital just to find Robin is just really cute to me. You can tell Law really cares about Robin a lot, otherwise he wouldn't notice that she's not with her crew and he wouldn't spend time just to look for her. Like why did people missed that?!

Law trying to explain himself is also so funny, like yea sure...of course she is really suspicious that you need to find her haha I think someone also mentioned he looks like a high school boy trying to get close with his crush so pretend to be interested with the same hobby?! that's so funny

I also did a bit of research about hyena, they have excellent hearing and smell which is what Law referring here. Hyena also have a metaphor for people who are greedy for money or privilege which I think is not applicable in this case. But I'm surprised that there's a lore that hyena have long been thought to be a beast that can change sex. So did Oda put a little foreshadowing here?! (source: https://kotobank.jp/word/%E3%83%8F%E3%82%A4%E3%82%A8%E3%83%8A-112682)

And I think Oda purposely make it ambiguous here, he has a lot of ways to make them find poneglyph together without making Law a stalker (jk) But he has to shown it in this way that seems like Law is interested to Robin. He is definitely stirring something up here!

Robin demeanour is also really different in front of Law. Me and the other lawbin enjoyers have talked about this in the discord before. When Robin flirting with other men, her tone is full of confidence and showing that she is a grown and mature women. And I think she always acting tough and has a "big sister" energy as a habit because of her past experience. She acted like this because that's her mechanism to protect herself. She grew up in an environment that she's afraid people will abandon her or hurt her when she is showing any weakness.

Not that I think her flirting is not genuine or being a "big sister" is not her real personality, she definitely is complimenting the person and she definitely want to take care of the straw hats like a big sis or mom.

What I'm trying to say is she doesn't show her weakness or her soft side to others easily. And I think she will show it only when she thinks she can rely or trust that person. And the only time she has shown her soft and cute side outside of straw hats is in front of Law!!

I have read some japanese readers' comments and some of them is saying usually Robin will say "ずるいわ…" to others (even to her own crew) but for Law, she said "ずるい…" which is a closer way to communicate. I will translate a few comments from japanese fans here: After all, Robin-chan doesn't seem to have her usual older sister vibe when she's with Law, right? Also, this time she said 'that's not fair… (zurui...)' but if it were with someone else, she would have said 'that's not fair…(zuruiwa....)' with a slightly different tone. This difference is quite significant; in many ways, it feels like there's something special. (source: ひさぎ@hisagi_cfa85c) I started shipping Lawbin from Chapter 1055. Normally, she would probably say 'That's not fair…(zuruiwa...)' but with Torao, she said 'That's not fair…(zurui...)' It feels like they have a classmate-like vibe that's different from Franky, Zoro, or Sanji, and I really like it. (source: aria2372)

+ plus one more comment from Chapter 996! It's probably because 'you're the survivor of Ohara and researching the Void Century' that he told you, but even knowing that, the choice of words is surprising. It's like a typical behavior or phrase one would use towards someone of the opposite sex they want to be conscious of, so I was really surprised. (source: user-xk4ru8cv9q)

And yes there are LOTS of comments about Robin's "it's not fair...(ずるい…)" and Law's "I told you because it's you (お前だから話した)" that the wording they chose is surprisingly ambiguous and hinting that they have a close relationship. And they wouldn't act like this with other people. I think that's one of the reasons why lawbin is so much popular in Japan because they can read the tone and wordings with more depth.

Also, as @/cericebelle mentioned we haven't seen Law called Robin since zou so maybe they changed how they called each other already?! Like maybe Law will called Robin as "Robin" instead of "Nico-ya" and Robin will start calling "Law" instead of "tora-o" again.

*BELOW HAVE MANGA SPOILERS* Now that we knew Clover's brother died just because he is a D. And we know that having a D in your name is dangerous which can get yourself killed, can we all agree that Law NEED to trust Robin in order to tell her his full name?! Especially he grew up with a childhood that he doesn't trust people easily. Like Law just tell her you like her! (my delulu again)

Since we are talking about the "true name" culture in Japan, I want to add this in the last analysis. I saw @/happytact reblog that Tales from Earthsea is written by an American author Ursula K. Le Guin. I'm really sorry for the misinformation and putting out the wrong references ><! There are so many anime that have the true name concept and yet I picked out the wrong one -.-

I will add more references to it, in "Spirited Away", the story is focus on true name, Chihiro signed contract by giving her true name and she needs to take her name back in order to go back reality. At the end, Haku also found his true name and he regains his freedom again. In "Natsume's Book of Friends", if you know the monster's true name you can control it. And in "Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle", sakura and syaoran they fell in love and saved each other along their journey, they confessed with each other and only at the end, they exchanged their real name. Not to mention there are lots of anime that express exposing your true name is important or dangerous like "Death Note" or "Your Name" . Telling your true name has a significant meaning in japanese culture, it almost means you're giving yourself to the person (only depends on the context, sometimes it's implied) so when Law told Robin his true name voluntarily, it's really important!!!

When they are looking old wano in the little tunnel and standing really close to each other is way too cute!! When did you see Law self-willingly to get this close with a person that's outside of his crew?! (well maybe except when he is mad at Zoro and trying to fight him haha) Also because Robin teased him in the beginning so he flexed his ability in front of her and try to make her annoyed is so funny. Law act cool in front of anyone but being a little kid in front of his crush is just so him!!! They really show off a classmate vibe here!

so y'all probably know one of the arguments from lawbin haters is "Law is just interested in the road poneglyph" "It's just for the plot" I always laugh at these comments because did you see Law didn't even get close to the poneglyph?! LOL he just standing behind like "I'm good" When Robin stand on a level higher to get close with the poneglyph, Law is also just down there.

And if he is only interested to the poneglyph, he didn't need to the flex in front of her to see the under water wano. He can just stand outside of the tunnel like Sukiyaki.

So in my opinion, Law wants to accompany with Robin. Not that he is completely non-interested to the poneglyph but I think most of it is because he is interested to learn history and find road poneglyph with Robin. Also, it really seems like he wants to get close with her and protect her from behind.

Oh no that's the end of their interactions T^T there is one more from 1056 but I already wrote a long post about it so I wouldn't repeat it again. Hopefully we can see them interact again soon so I can write more analysis!!!

Chapter 1056 analysis:

So some of my future lawbin delulu thoughts are: - they exchanged vivre card - they will meet at elbaf again and will learn more history together - robin will worried about law when she learnt that...you know

hopefully at least one of it will come true haha Thank you so much for reading this!! I really blab a lot haha Please always share your thoughts or comments with me. And also I will promote the lawbin discord group here if you're interested!

[nexysworld]

I can't sleep, so sleepy thoughts in coming! So I was like thinking what if Bunny met Ada? Like say if she falls in love with Leon and one day he's away and Ada shows up at the door, (I still think he'd still love Ada a small bit) and Ada is telling her so many times that makes Bunny question her relationship with Leon and he gets back and hears everything

Aww man, you really had to hit me with this one didn't you Anon. lol Since you said Bunny reader, I'm assuming we're talking about Yandere!Leon from my Guardian Angel Fic (if not throw another ask my way and I'll do one for regular Leon.)

🖤 By this point, I'd like to assume Leon's plan had come full circle. His little Bunny loves him, trusts him, doesn't question him, etc. Things have been going good for a while (as good as they can when you're trapped with a delulu psycho lol) 🖤 When Ada shows up, I think at first Bunny would be untrusting, especially since this would be the first person besides Leon she's been around in a long time. 🖤 That being said, Ada would probably talk a lot about Leon, personal things she knows, etc. and it would be enough to convince her that Ada is the real deal. 🖤 After all the trauma she's gone through up until now, I think Bunny would be devastated, heartbroken. She'd finally given in to trusting Leon and their new life together -- and now she was thinking about all the things he did when he wasn't home. Was he really working? Was he meeting Ada? Were there other women too? It would make her feel so lonely now and foolish for having given up the fight to escape. 'Maybe he's really in love with her, but I'm just a pet to keep him busy.' 🖤 When Leon found out, his feelings would be complicated. I like to think that Ada was definitely one of the factors behind his now obsessive behavior - the fear of losing someone, wanting to protect and remain in control. 🖤 That being said, she's always been a part of his history he couldn't let go. He never went after her though because she's not an object to him, but someone who's close to equal ground. But he really can't let his Bunny go. 🖤 Ultimately, I think his need to keep his Bunny would outweigh the feelings he had for Ada, especially since he knows Ada would run off again, but Bunny needed him and was already there. 🖤 His heart would shatter seeing Bunny in tears, untrusting of him all over again because of Ada, and honestly, depending on his state of mind, he might finally decide to remove Ada from his life permanently. For someone like Leon, it's far easier to just ignore bad feelings or guilt instead of dealing with them. Out of sight, out of mind literally for anything that wasn't his obsession - not to mention Ada knew his little secret.

🖤 Regardless of how that situation ends - he'd crank the love-bombing up to max. He'd be reminding Bunny every day how much he loves her, how Ada lied to her out of jealousy. Might even give some actual explanations about his job and history. Gifts and physical affection galore. Lots of intimate sex too. Really anything he can think of to help make sure she understands. 🖤 Due to the unhealthy relationship dynamics, I don't know if Bunny would recover any time soon maybe not at all - especially since she still can't leave the property. Any time he went back to work or had to leave for supplies, she'd be very unhappy. 🖤There'd definitely be a shift in the relationship now that Bunny was extra insecure and jealous. This would manifest in mood swings between not wanting his affection at all to needing it, touching him at all times, begging him not to leave, etc. 🖤 Leon's punishments wouldn't have the same effect anymore either as likely Bunny would be apathetic to those kinds of things, especially if she felt there was no longer a point to trying to earn his affection. 🖤 If Leon couldn't love-bomb her enough to fix things, then he'd definitely resort back to gaslighting or finding a chemical at work to help Bunny forget or be more suggestible.

[changbinsboobs]

im the anon from before: told ya in my chan observations "knowing chan and his tendencies for a victim-complex, pick me, delulu and stuff" bound to cause some issues in his personal relationships but also this is why lee know is my fave out of the two bro would not give two hoots compared to chan who seems always on edge, kinda not trouble maker but doesnt mind stirring the pot to make a mountain out of a molehill.

although I do blame their coddeling from the companies for their inability to have stable relationships because they cant seemingly get out of their own delulu bubble (mainly chan).

u know what im also glad for these readings for? bc it makes me less delulu about certain idols lmao, its weird because some idols i thought would have dreadful personalities or types do not and its the ones that i have suspicions of and chan was one of them mainly due to his overly unhealthy attachments to stay but now i still find him interesting i just dont know if i would date him? yaknow? i think sometimes an idol having very very specific ideals can limit their overal perspective in dating bc theyre not really seeing someone for their personality or their natural charms or anything else its literally all about other attributes that they maybe look too much into and not giving some others enough chance becaude if u only look on the outside u never going to see ppl in different way, its very concieted. like what if chan met someone who fitted the appearsnce he wanted but they also had toxic behaviours or would just use him? he would still prolly date that person. im sure the girl he was with was lovely but no one wants to babysit a grown man. period. he actually gives manchild vibes no fr

honestly if anything i dont want him to be defamed cause she may or may not use it against him even if she sign nda but if hes that toxic it may very well backfire even further. i think he would be better more as friend material than romantic but he said he wanted family as well in snother reading. bro got a lot of growth to do before any of that

i hope other stay who maybe too deluded to see thru his behaviour i hope they somehow learn abt it thru readings cause itd suck to put so much attention and for it to all be unhealthy and shit

So first things first - my personal opinion is that nowadays there's just s HUGE gap between men and women in terms of being a a well rounded, capable, mature human being. Sadly. And so i i wouldn't necessarily put the blame on the companies but rather just on the guy himself - at the end of the day he chose that path and no matter what ur environment is you can still learn and choose to be well rounded human being - like thats on u bro🥲and i also do see him as a man child, sry not sry. Ive noticed that for a very long while actually and i think he knows that on some level too and thats part of the reason why he pushes that "taking care of y'all" image on himself so mich to try and make up for what he on the inside knows that he lacks.

And i think too he would date someone for SURE that he finds attractive but knows they're toxic cuz lets be honest - lots of people do😂 some people just crave toxicity and some people are toxic themselves and like attracts like.

Also i don't think the situation is that bad for him to be defamed - as i said i think the whole thing was much bigger in his perception than it probably was for the girl. I don't think he was toxic to the extent where he would be hurting anyone other than himself. In fact i think his toxic is rather embarrassing than hurtful. Its the type where you just sit there in shock and wonder how someone like him, with a certain image, status, money, power even, life experience etc - can act and be so immature and cringey. I think he could also be someone that would be kinda gaslighting but not out of malice but rather because he's just too sensitive and cant regulate his emotions so well hence why he can't really grasp the situation in a right way. But thats as far as it gets.

As negative as readings like that might sound im actually happy to read on energy like that because as you sed it helps delude people a bit and also just plain shows you a persons bad side (which we all have) and makes them much more human. And the best part - i would much rather stan an idol thats a manchild and is just a bit cringey, than stanning an abuser and not knowing it. That way you at least know his red flacks aren't THAT type of RED iykwim...👀

[bethanysnow]

Breakeven prt 4

Bang Chan x Plus size Reader!

1.5k FLUFF chan being what the kids say 'delulu'

(A.N: Tumblr ate the first version of this fic so please be kind. I am happy there is a fully formed piece though.)

His heart beat faster in his chest. He didn't know if it was from the impact or the pretty girl in front of him, but he felt the ringing in his ears and blood rush to his cheeks turning them rosey.

Normally, he was at a function for JYP he was Chan! Best leader! Leader and producer of one of the best-selling, most popular boy groups in the 4th gen if ever. He was there to be a show pony. Do tricks. Flirt with women he had no interest in because he knew it did something in the realm of securing his seat at the table. It was safe. He could be charismatic, charming, intoxicatingly so. He saved face for the company, he knew it, and everyone knew it. The friends he had were other idols. Fellow people in the pursuit of this dream, but that were also tied to work. He didn't know the last person he spoke to that wasn't….in some way shape or form tied to his work as an Idol.

He didn't know the last time he just randomly met a girl on the street who he thought was pretty and talked to her just to talk to her.

He didn't know the last time he was just Chris from Australia.

Chan wasn't shy by any means or he didn't think he was. Something in the way the woman across from him looked into his eyes though made him want to hide. He wasn't looking for a girlfriend either. Just work was work, Stay came into his life and it was almost a religious experience. This incomprehensible force was out there, looking out for him, caring about him, wanting the best for him, and all he had to do was be the man he grew into being. That permission of self was a big relief considering his addiction to work. His work as Idol. Korea as a country was dependent on this addiction, for that's what it was. Large parts of the population got a high seeing work be completed, having it also be tied to one's worth, self-preservation. Words were invented to describe the feeling of being so deeply exhausted only for it to be turned into words of praise.

That's what Chan knew and expected. Internalizing from a very young age that unless he was extraordinary, he wasn't anything.

Anything at all.

Maybe she knew who he was.

Maybe she had walls plastered with his face on it.

But in that moment, it didn't matter. Nothing…mattered.

Just her asking him if he was alright and her hand gently placed on top of his. The sounds around him began to go fuzzy with Han rambling and people having dinner.

Her eyes went to Jisung taking in whatever was being spoken, as Chan's eyes sought to memorize the vision before him. She was different. Not different bad, just different. In the world he lived in it was common practice to ‘deal with’ things. Diets, being unhealthily skinny, wanting to ‘fix’ how tall someone’s nose was. Looking at her with soft eyes he took in her appearance. She was a full-figured woman, took up space, commanded a presence. There was some blush to her cheeks, eyeshadow maybe. Simple. Only Chan noticed the details not of what was there, but of what wasn’t. No tape pulling her face back, no line of lace for a wig or caked on foundation shades lighter than her skin naturally was. She just existed. No one in his life knew how to just be. How to exist in their entirety, and yet here she was.

She was so pretty…

That’s all he could think about…she was just so god damn pretty.

“You’re staring- he’s staring. Is he? Are you okay?” Waving her hand in front of his face. He stared at her in a daze. Only for her to break him out of his delusion of what their apartment would look like decorated for the holidays and what would they name their third child. Watching him snap back to reality it left the gritty feeling of anxiety in her mouth, was there something on her face? In her teeth? Did she smell?

When Jisung said the person he wanted her to meet would be worth her while she didn’t think this is what he meant! His fucking leader?! After this encounter she was sure to give him a piece of her mind! What in the twilight zone unreality did she walk into? Chris seeing her apprehension looked to Han who winked at him giving him finger guns only to say something about picking up the dinner. Telling Chan to sit with Y/n.

Y/n…y/n. He chewed on the name in his mouth feeling where his tongue sat and bit his teeth. He had heard names like it before. Normally wouldn’t think twice about it, but seeing the girl the name was attached to made it sparkle. He wanted to say it over and over, it in the second became the sweetest sound he ever heard.

“Is it okay? If I sit here, with you? I can go- “

“No!! Stay!! Its fine- “Her voice was louder than she expected. As if something took possession of the controls in her head to grab his hand only to retract it moments later cringing instantly. Seeking solace in hiding in her purple sweater. That’s when it hit Chan how he knew her really. She was the girl from the street.

This realization caused Chan’s face to turn bright red grabbing at his earring to self-soothe the butterflies that had taken up residency inside his lungs.

“You’re the uh…girl on the street yea? You busk? I mean? I heard you singing earlier-“

Y/ns eyes widened…” Am I that loud?” her mouth tried to form words as embarrassment crept up her collar and onto her face only for Chan to grab her hand. He threw his head back and laughed like somehow, she had made the room feel like fizzy drinks and pop rocks and cotton candy all in one question.

“No! no no no no- you hehehe aren’t that loud. I just keep the window to the studio open sometimes and when I head in, I can hear you. I promise you aren’t that loud hehe” He smiled and it just got bigger and bigger as Y/n threw a hand over her heart and exhaled dramatically.

“Oh, thank god- I would hope someone would have told me by now, but I’m glad I am not taking up the entire street block with my attempt at music.” She giggled. She was giggling. Who was she?? Acting like a schoolgirl on a date. Becoming absolutely beside herself with the affect this man was having on her. Ending up just looking at the table for some illusionary script of what does one say to one of the most attractive people on the planet?

“Oh- don’t say that. You sing quite good if I’m honest.”

Her smile bloomed across her face as did the redness in her cheeks. Bang Christopher Chan was complimenting her singing. What a day this turned out to be?

Chan looked at their hands still oddly touching, he didn’t notice till now that when he grabbed her hand…she didn’t let go. Normally by now there would be some squealing or reaction, but there wasn’t. Not that it was an expectation of course. His mind drifted a little looking at their hands only to be brought back to her eyes on him with a slight tilt of her head.

“You okay though? I mean- You kinda got tabled in the dick so- “Y/n chuckled unable to keep it to herself.

As weird as asking how his dick was, it was the most refreshing conversation and question Chan had experienced in about six months. Not knowing if it was the novelty of finding someone outside of work, or how she was so different than everyone he existed with in his day-to-day life, he wanted to know. To know if it was just infatuation or something else.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I think though Jisung set me up…” The man looked over the dividers to their rapper standing next to the counter talking to a waitress, making sure he wasn’t just straight up abandoned in a restaurant with a girl.

“Oh I am right there with you-“

“You in Seoul long?” Chan asked trying to gauge what he could do.

“I guess? I am visiting a cousin in Busan over a couple months and so I always try and visit Seoul. He works, and I don’t want to just be waiting for him. I’m staying at a capsule hotel hostel thing.”

The gears in his head turned. Looking between the table Jisung, and Y/n. “Are you on whatsapp? Or Kakao Talk? I would love to hear you sing something…and I work in a studio so….” Chan couldn’t handle the tension anymore. He needed an answer like an itch he couldn’t scratch or a song he couldn’t name playing on repeat.

Jisung only then took the moment to barge into their bubble with bags of takeout. “SO- talk about anything fun??~” Han grinned so proud of himself.

“Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t, eh?” Y/n scrunched her nose at the interrupter. “I was just about to give Chan here my number…if he would still accept it~” she smiled at him taking out her phone to hand to him.

…… …………

~~~~ To be continued.

@7ndipity @moonlightndaydreams @queen-in-the-shadows @chansmanda @antoniorhinothethird @hyunsvngs @channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut

[i-cant-sing]

life update?

Well... life feels like I'm on rollercoater that's on fire and is heading towards a pit of needles and I'm just.... vibing because I'd never scream or cry in public cause "embarrassing". I mean, exam season is approaching, my brother is getting married in that season and I have to participate actively in wedding activities and keep everyone entertained because its not like I have spare siblings that I can do this for...

And then talking about the actual exam season is also stressful because I'm someone who locks herself away for 4-6 months to study and become a hermit but now I can't do that because guests from all over the world will be staying over and my parents are old and don't have it in them to be running around all day serving guests, even domestic help goes so far.

Hmm what else.... I mean I'm crying over everything these days. The current state of the world? Yes. Palestine? Yes. The world is ending? Yes. Am I gonna end up in hell? Tears. Reading my urdu novel that is soooo well written and I 1000% don't relate to the female mc's struggles? Even more tears. I'm even crying when I thunk about the time I cried over something💀💀💀 (this all very new to me because I've never been so emotional over anything)

Oh and I found out I am not eligible to donate blood because my hemoglobin is in the single digits (so like I know why I couldn't see anything for a minute straight whenever I stood up💀💀)

I have a crush, he's smart and handsome(but like why does he as a man need LONGER LASHES AND CLEARER SKIN THAN ME???HES MAKING ME WANNA START A SKINCARE ROUTINE) But the thing that is the most appealing about him is the way he talks😭 like it just makes u swoon. Idk how to describe it, but like he has a deep voice but not too deep, just the perfect balance between mature adult and charismatic golden boy. And it's not just the way he talks with me or his friends, BUT THE WAY HE TALKS WITH HIS PATIENTS🤌✨️ like I'm here befriending 70 year old women before filling their cavities and he's all "Yes, ma'am/sir. Of course, it'll be done as you want." Like he's so professional even at the end of the day when everyone's just tired from doing their umpteenth patient and start slacking off in the whole "VVIP treatment of all patients". I'm just praying to Allah to make us soulmates (if we're meant to be), I have left this matter in God's hands because He's never disappointed me before and I can't afford to be distracted rn (I borrowed a book from my crush for some notes and was comparing how we even highlighted the same stuff.... we are sooo compatible.... this is so delulu of me omg never thinking about him again- unless he approaches me first)

I feel like having a crush is good because look at me rn- I have started a skincare routine, I am actually studying hard so that if he ever asks me a question, he knows that I'm not a dumbass. And if I had the time to go to the gym, I would, instead I'm doing counting calories and skipping unnecessary meals! What do I have to lose in all of this if he rejects me? Nothing. I end up with clear skin, hot body, and smart af brain.

Like he has a lot more on the line as a crush because he's one, ONE ick away from making me lose complete interest in him. See? This is a win-win for me.

[the-l00ker]

How am I supposed to believe shelby with no proof when she has falsely accused people of abuse before? I’m not even trying to be rude it’s a genuine question. It’s like the boy who cried wolf.

Well my friend you're certainly late to the party, I'll keep it short bc it's early and I'm sleepy

The biting thing: https://youtu.be/LzOCla-USJM?si=1j7wwn1bDUFxyvra

Niki stated that wilbur but her when she first went to the UK. Like 2-3 years ago, before she even knew shelby. After leaving the UK she said it was one of the darkest times of her life.

Fundy UK vlog from 3 years ago:

Got to 2mins and 55 seconds

Shelby mentioned the holes in Wilbur's walls and how the house was absolutely disgusting.

Here you can actually SEE the hole in the wall in his bathroom like shelby has mentioned.

Their are also some Philza streams (which I'm too lazy to find he streams like everyday) be mentioned Wilbur's holes in the wall

In all of the Tommyinnit vlogs wilbur is apart of he hurt Tommy in some way. Stepping on him. Pushing him. Or disregarding Philza when it comes to tommyinnit health.

The time that he threw an apple at Technoblade RIGHT AFTER SURGERY AND WITH INTENT, inwhich it hit his arm and he laughed about it

Technodad would later go onto say he dislike Wilbur but wanted his son to be happy so allowed them to be friends

https://youtu.be/Th0kWIZF1qc?si=lc79pOxPjo-_hFEb

His violent tendency have been shown over the years in MANY example, and concern Shelby is 1 out of 5+ PEOPLE to be hurt by him I think it's wild people only blame her.

Heck even Minx called him out like 5-ish years ago and people called her delulu because she was an alcoholic

Niki said something about him and was harassed to the point of considering to quit because she was "just a women making trouble"

A decently sized number of people from the general public called him out but were either harassed or drowned out.

He's acted the way he has for YEARS and no one outside of twitter and the kids he befriended along the way, actually like him.

Do you know the amount of shitty things you have to do to get both SMAJOR and JACKSEPTICEYE to start disliking you WITHIN THE SAME MONTH FOR DIFFERENT YET STILL VIOLENT REASONS???

Wilbur even bragged about writing himself back into the dreams smp because dream was doing a a 'shit' job.

And even from a business standing he jeopardised the future of MCC because he was the update announcer, inwhich Scott again had to take some stray bullets for when removing him from MCC and at no point did Wilbur his fans to stop sending death threats to Scott and the Noxcrew but he acknowledged it on steam.

So thier is not believing shelby, but do you not believe the other countless people who have come forward about him? Because it's not just shelby he hurt.

I've not like that man for several years and I think he was bound to be caught but damn did it take people along time.

[blazinghotfoggynights]

I need someone who sees Eddie's issues as lingering love for Shannon to work with me.

Eddie's behavior is being blamed on never dealing with Shannon's death or still being in love with Shannon by a lot of fandom.

But I don't understand why it is being interpreted that way. I will explain my side and I encourage others who see it as I mentioned above to share their reasoning, insight, and viewpoints, so maybe I can get it.

While Eddie insists he and Shannon were in love, everything in canon supports them being in puppy love, in lust, or even FWB, but not a full, adult, stable romantic love. I dare say it was one-sided lust and one-sided convenience.

Eddie chose possible death over being with Shannon and Christopher. He ran from them into a war zone. That is not what a loving husband and father does. If he had gone into the military strictly for financial reasons, that would be a different situation. But that wasn't his motivating factor. He was running.

When Eddie returned, injured and mentally scarred, Shannon walked out. People can try to defend her, but no good parent would sneak off in the middle of the night leaving their child behind because "I need time too". What kind of excuse is that?

It felt like the real victim in all that was Christopher. Neither Eddie nor Shannon seemed committed to him. He was (after 7x7 some could say is) the child of two immature, self-centered people.

Let me get back on topic.

When Shannon came back, all they had was sex, which is what I suspect their "love" was really based on the whole time. Shannon eased right back into their lives, only to decide she wasn't interested in Eddie or Christopher and she wanted a divorce.

These are reasons why I don't believe Eddie is acting out or losing his mind because he hasn't gotten over his wife's death. Imho, those two were dysfunctional and lying; they were never in love.

Shannon loved having the hot guy on her arm.

Eddie needed a girl. Why? I believe Eddie is repressing his sexuality. If you look at how he has portrayed Eddie this season, there have been at least three instances where I caught myself thinking, "Hey a-hole, it is totally not cool to act out effeminate gay male stereotypes!" only to realize he wasn't doing that!

I believe Edmundo Diaz is deeply closeted due to his heritage, religion, family, then friends, and home area. I think he clutches at the memories of his dead wife because she was the physical proof he is heterosexual. He had sex with Shannon. He got Shannon pregnant. He had a child with Shannon. Obviously he is not gay.

This isn't about love. This is about being the QB of Team Delulu. If he can recreate what he had with Shannon, he can be straight again. Eddie has never said he wants a partner or a wife. He wants a mother for Christopher. That is his excuse every time.

Eddie picks up with any woman who can't see what is right in front of them and will work with him to build shaky, passionless relationships. He admitted Shannon chased him. Ana couldn't have thrown herself at him harder. Marisol is trying so hard to make something out of nothing.

He isn't into any woman. Ever. Demisexual my azz. That man can't make a relationship with a woman last because you can only lie to yourself, that woman, and the world for so long before you get tired and either slip or give up.

If you look at the past six seasons from the angle of Eddie being closeted, don't things make a bit more sense?

Edited to add clarification: I know you can be demi and any label on the sexuality spectrum. One day, when I am feeling way more comfortable in my skin, I will share more about that.

What I meant, and obviously communicated poorly, is I don't think Edmundo is genuinely demi. I think he uses being a "nester" and implying he needs a real connection with a woman to even consider dealing with her as cover for why he doesn't have relationships with women and why he doesn't want them. Eddie Diaz, imo, is written as a closeted gay male in denial using other labels to convince himself he is anything except gay. I believe he is allosexual; however, he doesn't have any genuine, organic attraction to women and he sure as hell is not ready to admit he is attracted to men.

Christopher, no time, needing a deep emotional bond, not clicking with anyone, still in love with his ex-wife, and all the other reasons are merely lies so he can continue to deceive others and, more sadly, himself.

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E6 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

If you want to start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character cheat sheet:

Yinghua - pink flowers LIW

Lady Lishu - child bride concubine

Lady Lihua - concubine Maomao saved from poisoned powder

Crystal Pavilion - Lady Lihua's Pavilion

Lihaku - officer giving out a lot of hairpins

It's the garden party and I'm so excited!

Cryptic openings are what this show does. And this one starts with palace gossip about someone who is apparently a picky eater. The gossips state:

It's not like it's going to kill her or anything.

What terrifying foreshadowing.

Now we are finally at the party. There is dancing and music. Everyone is freezing. That probably includes the infant princess who is also at this party.

Oh that's the dowager empress holding the baby! This is the first we are seeing her. And yeah... she's got to be Jinshi's mom. It's like the artists were told to design a female Jinshi.

Apparently the empress gave birth to the emperor at a nauseatingly young age because it freaks Maomao out even though we never hear the number.

Oh the empress actually has two children. You don't say. There is a younger brother, who is conspicuously missing from his place of honor on the stage. But according to gossip he has a weak constitution and has rarely been seen. Sure.

In my best guess, prince #2 has been away with the military which is why he hasn't been around. Upon his glorious return the emperor immediately assigned his handsome brother to the rear palace. It's only speculation at the moment, but I don't think I'm far off.

Someone mentioned earlier that this event seems designed to pit the concubines against one another. And yeah it is. I guess that sort of thing appeals to the emperor, because he has created drama between the ladies before when he went to Lady Gyokuyou to request that Maomao take care of Lady Lihua. Wow, it occurs to me that maybe he wanted to meet Maomao in person because he realized his younger brother was interested in her. That's probably not good.

Yinghua has managed to get involved in some kind of drama with Lady Lihua's ladies. Oh they're talking smack about Maomao! Lady Lihua has the absolute dumbest ladies in waiting. They literally cannot recognize Maomao because she changed her clothes and put on some eyeliner. That's lucky for them, because they wouldn't be saying any of this to Maomao's face since they are legit terrified of her.

Maomao must have inflicted some lasting psychological damage on those ladies because they run the moment they recognize her. I do love that Maomao's friends are defending her though. She's not in this alone.

Yinghua: Don't listen to those bullies. I mean, just look at how adorable you are!

Maomao: Oh. I don't care.

I believe her. Maomao's self-esteem isn't on the outside. Instead she prides herself in her skills, and particularly on how she can use them to help others. Insults to her looks can't touch her. After all, she was trying to worsen her appearance to protect herself. Now, if she ever failed to help someone or if she made a misjudgment or mistake that hurt someone, that would probably crush Maomao.

I love her delulu pavilion friends. They view Maomao in the most sympathetic way and want to protect her. And they're all in on JinMao (probably have the ship half built).

Yuck. This girl was made a concubine at age 9. Maomao's appalled. So am I. This show doesn't pull any punches. And I do think this show has a lot to say about the oppression of women. I'll try to refrain and let someone more qualified analyze that. Please share if you've seen someone talking about this issue.

Lady Lishu makes it a point to rudely ignore Maomao while she's holding Lady Gyokuyou's baby. Maomao notes that she is wearing a color that clashes with Lady Gyokuyou and wonders if it's intentional. I'm sure it is. And here is someone for you to keep an eye on. She should not be underestimated just because she's only 15. She's actually been in the palace for 6 years, which I think is longer than Lady Gyokuyou.

Maomao sees the idiot ladies of the Crystal Pavilion shivering and despite their treatment of Maomao in the past, and earlier that day, she can't bear to see someone suffer. She offers them something to warm their hands and they flee in terror.

Oh Maomao observes someone exchanging a hairpin, Yinghua explains that it's some kind of recruitment thing and that there is a secret meaning, however Maomao doesn't care... But this is relevant! Considering she just received a hairpin herself that very morning! Yinghua also calls bullshit and says, hilariously:

Excuse me, I'm trying to gossip with you over here!

She's dying to tell Maomao the hidden meaning behind the hairpins, but we never find out what she would have said.

In any case, Maomao promptly accepts another hairpin from the first stranger she meets, a bouncy officer named Lihaku. Directly after she gets another one from Lady Lihua. This one is given with a compliment and a great deal of warmth. Maomao's going to look like a pin cushion before the day is done.

Also, where is Jinshi? These folks are making moves on your girl!

The next part of the garden party has commenced, with everyone waiting motionlessly in lines. Maomao has taken off all of her hairpins and looks around while she waits. She thinks Gaoshun looks good, like a soldier, and realizes he has a higher position then she realizes. She gets a polite acknowledgement from him when he notices her attention. She also spots the cute bouncy officer, Lihaku. She breaks the 4th wall to wonders where Jinshi is:

I don't see our ✨sparkly✨ eunuch anywhere, but, who cares.

Maomao is such a weirdo about poisons. She loves the stinging sensation.

Maomao is noticing a lot of things going on around her during this meal. Lady Lishu has a severe issue with food. This isn't someone being a picky eater. Maomao is brushing it off for now, but I assume she'll help this girl at some point. Some other lady is witnessing Lady Lishu suffer and she's giving a creepy smile. Maomao isn't happy to have seen it. But it will force her to figure out whatever mystery is playing out here.

And Maomao just ate something that made her blush and lick her lips, so it's either an aphrodisiac, or poison. I mean it could be any tasty food, the girl loves to eat, but it's probably poison. Yup, it's poison. She's so into it though...

Jinshi finally arrives (where was he?), just in time to... not attend the party and follow Maomao instead. To be fair he deduced instantly that she may have been poisoned. And then he knows she has been because she's smiling at him.

Meanwhile Maomao is fantasizing about being incompacitated by poison. And I don't know ethically where to fall on this one. I'm not one to kink shame but I don't support self harm either. Jinshi doesn't have that problem, he is very much not happy about it. He's dragging her to medical care. And this is exactly what I'm talking about when I say I'm glad Maomao has people in her life who care about her well-being because, for as good as she is at caring for others, she doesn't take care of herself.

She wants more of the poisonous soup and Jinshi has just about had it with her. Turns out some dumbass ate the rest of her soup and collapsed at the party. Anyway, Maomao offers a solution to treat him that involves more poison. Jinshi does not approve.

Maomao notices Jinshi's new hairpin and jumps to the best conclusion which is that he got it as a gift from his secret male lover. I'm not even going to offer a guess of my own because I hope Maomao is right.

The stress of this day has made Jinshi upset. He's not bothering to try and keep up any pretenses. Maomao is seeing him unmasked, and she prefers it.

Maomao receives some impressive drugs that make her purge. The moment she's done Jinshi asks her to immediately solve this case.

She asks to speak with Lady Lishu. She knows she has an allergy to fish. Her nasty food taster did not. Maomao lets her know that trying to give fish to Lady Lishu is the equivalent of trying to poison her. The issue now is that Lady Gyokuyou's fish meal was swapped with Lady Lishu's non-fish meal. Most likely by her own food taster, as a way to torment Lady Lishu by forcing her to eat fish. However, the dish that was intended for Lady Lishu, the one she never received, was the one that poisoned Maomao. So, now the question is, who tried to poison Lady Lishu?

Maomao terrifies that food taster and is confident that she won't allow Lady Lishu to eat fish again.

Maomao is left alone with Jinshi and Gaoshun. Jinshi promptly lays a hand on her shoulder and gets told:

Please, I'm of lowly birth. It's not right for you to touch me.

Jinshi doesn't like that.

Jinshi: You're the only one who has ever used that excuse.

Maomao: That's just because everyone else is being nice to you.

And Jinshi hates that.

And it may seem like they're playing around, and bantering as they both like to do, but in fact they are drawing up new boundaries. Things have recently taken a turn for them into something more serious. And this is the first time they've been able to talk.

First Maomao shared her story about being nearly assaulted, and then being kidnapped, which made Jinshi react in a powerful way, he gave her his hairpin which carries unknown meaning, then Maomao was poisoned, and Jinshi got pretty scared for her, and she caught a glimpse of the real Jinshi. All of this happened today!

And neither one of them has any idea where things stand between them. Jinshi pushes forward. A hand on her shoulder. Maomao pulls back. She removes his hand - no.

And she tells him something true that he needs to hear. We are not of the same class. There are rules to these things and you are breaking them. I'm not going to break them for you.

And then she tells him, something that hurts worse. People don't treat you authentically.

From the only person who does see him as a real person and not just as some lofty official he hears I see you but I won't get close to you. No one else will either.

Jinshi is trapped by the elevation of his station. People are unwilling or unable to interact with him in any real way. And he has a role to play that requires him to mask himself, and do things like manipulate servants, and flirt with concubines.

Maomao is right that the people around him are just being nice. And Jinshi hates it.

He wears different masks to achieve his goals in the harem but he's desperate to take them off and have someone see him. It's why he loved when Maomao glared at him. It's why he delights in her sarcasm and biting comments. And now she's pulling away from him.

Jinshi is completely alone.

And here is where Maomao and Jinshi serve narrative foils to one another. Because Maomao is authentic with everyone. She speaks her mind, behaves how she wants and people see her and adore her. She has real relationships all around her.

Maomao is loved.

It is worth noting, that even though Maomao is putting up a boundary between herself and Jinshi, she did not return his hairpin. She is drawing a line, but she isn't completely walking away.

Maomao, exhausted after everything:

What a day.

Indeed.

If you want to read these from the beginning:

Episode 1

Next episode:

Episode 7

[dramalets]

Darling @blneobin tagged me in the 10 BL characters you want carnally thing. I am a dumb lil gray ace queer so I expect I have a different definition of want carnally than some 😂. But I will persist regardless. (I picked gals and guys because 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Mork - My Ride

He’s a puppy dog. He just wants to love and be loved in return and I would never ever get tired of looking at that dimple. Also you get his awesome uncles as throw in bonus. No way to lose here.

Ink - Bad Buddy

I just love her so much. I’m a useless lil femme with a competency kink a mile wide and dang does she hit it. The way she’s so sure of her self and what she wants, but is never arrogant about it, and how she treats Pa like the princess she is. A dream.

Pisaeng - Be My Favourite

Patient, loyal, great at love and excellent at self reflection. (Maybe I do just want a dog, damn.) The sacrifice he’s willing to make in episode 12 just got me right in the gut. I’d loved him the whole series but that was the Cherry. I’m just a Kawi looking for my Pisaeng.

Yu Na - Semantic Error

I’m ace not blind. I need this women to pin me down and tell me off. *ahem* Where did that come from. Anyways. She’s stunning, funny and a great friend.

Jim - Moonlight Chicken

He’s absurdly beautiful firstly. But I also love the way he learns. He admits his faults and works on them, that’s a decent human being right there. Plus Y’know he must be great in bed because Wen was HOOKED from the off. 😂

King - Bed Friend

Right. Not only is this man’s beauty a reason to believe in god he’s also just a wholly good bean. He never pressures Uea, he always meets him where he’s at, and he LEARNS. He makes mistakes and he admits those and learns from them. Cat kink aside he’s a great example of husband material.

Korn - Together with me

Listen, is he perfect? Absolutely not lol. But he’s the original standard for muscle bound Himbo pups and I adore him. (And those kisses? God damn.) *that gif is not Korn but if you search Korn you get the band so shh.

Tinn - Laws of attraction

The entire package. Hot, sweet, protective and good with kids. Those arms????? Get out.

Nim - The Warp Effect

Honestly she’s just hot, confident and gets very delulu when she’s in love. She can box me anytime she likes. (High key also wanted to pick her partner Molly too so you get a gif with both ✌🏻)

Pure - My gear your gown

This is a weird pick I realise 😂. Pansexual king, problematic in a lot of ways but loyal, loving and kind. Also he does actually listen to Folk and I feel they actually probably would have had a healthy relationship long term. Idk man. He’s just a great friend, confident in sex stuff and funny. Also v pretty. (All his gifs are from Shadow and fuck me I am NEVER watching that.)

If you read this far 😽

If you’d like to do this pls do! (And tag me.) It was a fun waste of time.

[kociepierogi]

Hello! I’m your LOST secret Santa! Could you tell me about your favourite character and why you like them?

Thanks!

Hi, I'm sorry for late reply but I'm out on a trip rn!!

So, I could say that I have three fav characters; Sayid, Mr Eko and Ben.

I like Sayid bcs he's both so perfect and imperfect. He's literally the most beautiful man on the whole island who respects women and always has right opinions (let's ignore his past, okay 🤪). What is fascinating for me in his character, that I can very easily read him from his face and body language and as an autistic person, most of the time I find it incredibly hard. (Maybe it's time to slap another autism headcanon on my fav character 😆).

He's beautifully soft, caring and emotional, very intelligent and knows his shit about things. I very much have instinct to protect this man at all cost, though I know it would probably be the other way around 😆😆😆

I also very often find it fascinating when a character has a dark past although clearly being a good person and still struggling with some horrible stuff (let's ignore what they did to him in season 5/6 😭😭😭). It's like... the nuance, mixed emotions and lots of space to do some tasty psychoanalysis 👁👁 In the end, we see what his character is about and it's very much about how sOFT and caring he is to people he loves, he just wants to protect them ;u; But he was forced by war to go to extreme measures to survive and he is stuck with this survival mode and trauma for a long time, as people with pstd are.

He's a lovely friend, partner and ally to have and I like to headcanon him to be on the ace spectrum, like demisexual and biromantic (just my personal little headcanon 🤭). Idk, he's just neat 🤲💖

When it comes to Ben, I love how horrible he is, it fascinates me without the end 😆😆 He's clearly someone who has ptsd and might be autistic with some absolutely horrible coping mechanisms and jealousy problems. He's pathetic in a way that makes me hooked, whenever we find some humanity behind all of that and someone yET again gives him another chance (as they usually shouldn't, but I would do the same because I am delulu). The part in the finale in afterlife, when he was in this ridiculously adorable teachers AU with Locke made me love him even more, bcs it showed what kind of person he could be, if all of this bad stuff with island wouldn't happen. I love to headcanon him as autistic and gay aroace or asexual gay or just gay. He clearly would have many little passions if he wouldn't be occupied with the island bullshit and his ptsd. He's clearly a father at his very core, the one that is not rotten with fear and jealousy. He seems to just care sm for others in this AU. (And he clearly would have some interesting close friendship with Locke with nice sprinkle of gayness 👀)

Normally he's a horrible person with tragic story but I am a Benjamin Linus apologist 100%, love that he got his little redemption arc at the end and got domesticated by Hurley 😆 He might as well get it after all this mess and trauma with island and Jacob vs Black Smoke bullshit, like wHY not

The third option is Mr Eko and his incredibly relatable struggle with religion. Again, another character that I headcanon as autistic, like VERY much. The way he perceives world and communicates 🤌 I'm always weak for character whose stories are about survival, trauma and like in this case, religious trauma. Even though myself I came out in the end to be agnostic, I admire his strength to stay spiritual and become a priest. He's someone who's strong and someone to look up to for advice. Though, he shouldn't have to be forced to be so strong by awful trauma he went through.

I absolutely LOVED the way he perceived his spirituality and concept of sin. The way he said he asks for no forgiveness, because he only did what he did to survive. And that struck me, I was like WOAH, THAT'S IT. I am really sad that his character was killed off and we never saw where they would go with it, it would be so sO interesting. A badass priest with awfully dark past 🤌 His attachment to brother is very relatable to me too. And yet again, another aroace headcanon 😆

Anyway, sorry for long ramble, hope that helps a bit!!!

[dearweirdme]

Hello Rain!

I discovered your acc a few weeks ago and I got so excited! Your replies are always respective, calm, and you remain supportive for the Tkk community through all the difficult times. Thank you for that!

I noticed Tae's and Jk's special bond almost immediately, I would say as soon as I fell in love with BTS, my baby army days. The only difference for me is that I never believed that they were in a committed relationship with eo. In my opinion they started having mutual non platonic feelings pretty early on and that escalated somewhere in 2016 when they might (?) became intimate at some level- I cannot debunk SMART uniform event no matter how hard I try!

I think whatever happened btw them remained a secret (not well kept). I am sure their bandmates became aware of it at some point but I don't feel there was ever anything "announced" or open. Their feelings were never truly fulfilled (as it would have happened in a committed long lasting relationship) and you can see it in the way they were touching and staring at eo all these years. Like they were testing themselves and exploring with their eyes and fingers one another every time. I am convinced Dispatch has some kind of proof on them and that also played a role on how things unfolded.

I feel like they were "the ones who got away". I don't know, it gives me "Brokeback Mountain" kinda feelings or maybe it's just me making my delulu love story for them. The way I see it, it was something forbidden and intense and stayed that way. An undercover push and pull, sometimes closer sometimes really distant. That's how I can explain the sadness, the weirdness, the things they said in their vlives. They don't give me "boyfriend" vibes, they give me "I have a sickening crush on you that I cannot even admit to myself" vibes. And that's how I can explain also the current situation. I think they do date (other people) and women. And that doesn't take away what they had. I truly believe Taekook is the one and only true ship in BTS, just not in the way most taekookers think.

Having said that, I also believe that Tae (I'm tae biased btw - I adore him) is very well aware of Tkkrs. I have a feeling he has deeply explored the community and all the theories. The guy is a genius and not to be underestimated! I don't think he "feeds us" occasionally to gain something out of it, but I do think he does some things in purpose because he is one of us and enjoys it... Does that make sense?

Let me know your thoughts! Lots of love!

Hi @munlee298 !

I’m glad you are enjoying my blog!

I have actually considered this possibility (real short), but I came to the conclusion that there’s too much pointing to things having become serious between them. I think the way BH started to change the way they used Tkk footage from a lot to almost nothing was because they knew Tae and Jk were actually together. I think it’s clear the other members know from how they react to them and it doesn’t look like it’s something they tiptoe around to me.

I see some sort of settled feeling between Tae and Jk. A trust that’s shown in both their physical and mental connections. When they look at each other there’s not only want, but also understanding and knowledge. They know how to move around each others and how their body’s fit and react too well for it not to be something they’re used to imo. I don’t see that desperate feeling of wanting someone but not having them, I see the ‘I know what you feel like and I wish I could be closer now’ kinda feeling.

I do think they’re both aware of Tkkrs, and I think the feelings they have towards us are probably very conflicting at times. Tkkrs push too far too often, I think Jk especially doesn’t like that. I think in a way the support and just the knowledge that people are accepting and see their bond must be really nice, but it also comes with a lot of difficulties. In general I don’t think they try to out their relationship or something, I think they do want to share at least how close they are and I do think Tae does some things on purpose (wearing that shirt during Bruno Mars for instance).