#the way that you can't tell whether you're hungry or full when you do actually eat

[hidefdoritos]

working in fast food will give you eating disorders you’ve never even heard of

[strawberry-cowmilk]

the brothers when they miss mc

-> brothers x mc

-> mc is in the human world and the brothers are feeling lonely

mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read

content warnings: angst, feelings of loneliness

-----

Lucifer

he literally cannot focus on a single thing and it bothers him, what did you do to him to cause him to lose his edge?

even diavolo can tell something is bothering him but of course he denies it

to take his mind off of missing you and wanting to hold you, lucifer decides to listen to some of his favorite records

until he realised one was about feeling alone too

Mammon

he begs everyone who can send him to see you, to do so

mammon promised lucifer he won't spend a single grimm for a month just to see you but none of his attempts work

he tries to secretly call or text you any time he can, especially after something bad happened to him that day

you were there to cheer him up, whether you knew you had that power by just standing there or not, mammon misses that

Leviathan

he just stares blankly at the starting screen of his game that reads 'player 1: levi and select player 2'

like you were one of his very few friends, how could you be taken away from him like that? levi just turns of the game and gets in his bathtub

he does vent about it to his fish, but let's be realistic the fish can't do anything and can't understand what's going on

he never thought he would dread being alone

Satan

he reads and reads to try to get his mind off of missing you, but that doesn't always work

satan is also more easily angered now, and that could become a dangerous situation depending on what happens to him next

satan keeps a diary, so he can give it to you when you're reunited again

but he probably won't ever do that out of shame, almost every page is about how alone he felt without you, emotionally, physically, in any way

Asmodeus

everything just annoys him, and that's when he realised him missing you was worse than he thought

he spams your inbox full of messages, he doesn't even expect you to see every single one but he just likes sharing stuff with you, even if it's a picture of a cool soap bubble in his bath

speaking if the bath, he uses it to relax when he can tell he's getting too sad

he buys you little gifts for your return too

Beelzebub

he's just living his life and then it hits him randomly like 'oh, I miss mc'

sometimes, when he orders food, he automatically gets you something too only to realise you're not with him and then he's sad for the rest of the day

he also feels less hungry and is less motivated to go to the gym

sometimes belphie has to help him cheer up when he feels like he needs somebody to talk to

Belphegor

his solution to anything is to take a nap honestly

but then he ends up dreaming about you, loving the dream, and waking up extremely upset that it was a dream

you can actually tell by how annoyed he looks during breakfast

belphie doesn't talk about this feeling of missing you a lot, which may worry his older brothers

but despite being apart from you, he'll still protect you from nightmares

[capslocked]

KINKVEMBER DAY: 5

[prompt: face sitting]

male reader x ahn yujin

3.5k words

Yujin is giving you shit when it happens.

It’s been a little over an hour since she turned to you, bored and pouty about it, and asked if you wanted to fuck again.

She gives you shit in the way only the prettiest girls can get away with. Perfect smile, like she's innocent. And all low and breathy in her throat. Hitched around the vowels of your name. Threatening enough that you thought about just immediately capitulating. It was tempting. 

"Or you could stay on the floor like a lame loser bummin’ around in your pajamas." She leans up on the arm of the sofa. "Either way."

Yujin stretches and her sweater is huge. One of those cozy campus crewnecks that everybody seems to have, oversized and inviting and right. Her shorts are ridiculously small, just enough of her stomach peeking out over her waistband for you to want to feel it, touch it, have the pleasure of sinking your tongue into the shallow groove.

She's teasing you because she never quite knows what to do with her energy. Lacks an outlet big enough, really, but is also selfishly delighted in getting any response at all, no matter how halfhearted it might be. You stare at her. You watch and don't speak when she runs her fingers up her stomach to pull her sweater up with it. You groan. She grins. She is pretty, her lips full and eyes soft. The laugh that follows her is because it's always obvious when she's won and you wish your body wasn't so prone to giving away your weaknesses.

"Hey." She blinks slowly, lifting one leg up. Her bare foot, warm, toes flexed, against your thigh, nudges against you once, and again.

"How many orgasms until I feel a little more forgiving towards my good friend who, I know, is super super sorry that he can't afford the pizza money because he chose to use his own allowance to do something as silly as pay rent, I wonder?"

"I paid half last time."

"Doesn't make sense because you ate it all.

"You said you weren't hungry." You start to object because you do have an objection. A list, actually, prepared, of instances you think you're owed. But Yujin arches, and when a separate but related complaint rises swiftly to the foreground, your throat goes dry -

"Orgasm tax."

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” she asks, and you’re struggling to answer truthfully, honestly.

She rolls over, lets you see everything she has, the tiniest shorts in the world tugged even higher, the generous curve of her ass and thighs in silhouette. You didn't ask for this but you weren’t about to die without it, you think, looking up from the floor and staring, wetting your lips, absolutely sure. She does it all on her own and it takes an absurd amount of effort to peel your hands off the ground.

"Stay where you are," she snaps, seeing it too - and in a second of deliberate slowness, hooks two fingers into her shorts, tugging them aside before looming over you. "Or you're not fucking me today. At all."

You let your head thud down against the rug beneath you. "That's not fair."

"You've gotta come up with something better than that. You could suck up, beg, maybe I'd forgive you if you just told me how much better I was than the cash I could use on literally whatever."

Your eyes cut down.

Part of you wonders if you've always been such an easy mark - whether being here has changed you, if all these months of dangling carrots in front of you are paying off or if you're just a willing accomplice to your own exploitation.

Part of you isn't stupid. Yujin's taken an almost disturbing amount of pleasure in flaunting herself since the first night you drank too much, said too much, resisted too little - you can tell the way it starts, a smile toying in the corner of her mouth, before she taps the band of her bra, waits to hear you swallow - to hear how hot you get - before she casually asks what it would take, "to convince you", to change the conversation from whether she wants something from the vending machine, or she just forgot it was laundry day, or where the hell that note from Wonyoung had gone, to what she'd like the answer to be. What would you let her do if it got you another chance to get under her shirt, see her all bared, eyes dark and hair like a veil across her collarbones, pretty nipples and swells of her breasts pushed up, until you put your mouth on her.

Yujin tilts her hips so it's easier for you to follow, her hand snaking beneath her body as she speaks. A gentle grunt gets muffled in her sweater, her toes curling into the space between your knees and it hurts, stings a little, the desire you're holding back, and then it goes right through you like fire, sharp.

(Part of you is incredibly stupid - but you think the truth is it doesn't matter.)

Yujin's kneeling over your chest, and her bottom lip, plump and lush, catches between her teeth. "Can you think of anyway to be useful?"

"A lot," you choke. It's true.

Yujin makes a noise. "Proof. Evidence. Put up."

The movement she makes - twisting of legs and stomach flexing and the fabric of her shorts down off her ankles - is one single, fluid motion and for a second you're distracted by how quickly she's gotten you there. Thighs resting over your shoulders, the only thing your lungs seem to remember how to do is want.

"Come on." She bounces her knees a bit. "Dick or mouth, get going."

You should really say something smart, show her how clever and charming you can be, how you've actually got a lot to show the hottest girl in the world - and sometimes Yujin giggles like she's shocked  about it all herself, but right now her eyebrows are raising, expectant and challenging and it makes it difficult to think when there's an open invitation inches away for you to bury yourself in. Your lips feel like sandpaper when you kiss the inside of her thigh. Her hips stutter and drop an inch as your tongue works its way out, thick and obscene and it shouldn't be so thrilling to hear her so low, so urgent when you have no say, really, in how this is going to go -

"Take care of me, yeah?" she practically whispers the words - all while your fingertips drag along her outer thighs until her spine straightens, gets her shoulders pushed back, her breathing louder, somehow, as if you couldn't feel her need without knowing already exactly what you can do for her.

And the most honest thing you could say in the moment, because Yujin has her panties stretched to the side, revealing the inviting creases where her long legs meet her hips - for god’s sake, her pussy is right fucking there, inches in front of you; glistening slightly in her own slick and looking so, so pretty - the words get kissed right into the curve of her thigh: "It's not fair."

The look she gives you makes it worth it. "Excuse me?"

"You asked, didn't you. It's not fair that your pussy's so good that I can't think about anything else."

She huffs, her thighs shaking just a little with the effort of staying put. "So, what," and your mouth closes in, kiss deep, your nose pressed in right at the peak of her folds, her entrance, and you try not to drool as you inhale and drag the flat of your tongue in, hard, where she's desperate for you, "you think this should all go in reverse or something, like I should worship your dick until you stop being a useless perv - "

But the insult dies in her throat. A moan comes out instead, harsh, deep, loud and enough that Yujin slaps her palm over her own mouth before throwing an impatient scowl down at you.

Here's what you'd tell her, if you weren't busy licking circles into the ache leaking from her core, eating her cunt like a starving man, if you had the audacity. Yujin can't control herself. Doesn't help that she's sloppy. When her orgasm hits she will get louder and she doesn't even like the things that come out. That's the thing about Yujin, really. She says all this shit, and really, in the end, she wants a good fuck so bad she can't keep her mouth shut, but the noises she makes are exactly the same as the sounds that you choke on -

Because as pretty and easy and fun to kiss as she can be, the absolute best thing about your relationship is that the more orgasms she gets the less she can breathe, much less control what the fuck she's saying to you. It's cute and hilarious and beautiful, when she forgets, when she gives everything up because in the end it's never any competition, the way she fucks, is so desperate. Her hips work themselves into your grip, over and over and over again, like they are meant for this. 

For getting off on your mouth alone.

All you know right now is that with the way you have your hands on her - one still holding her panties open and the other squeezed tight around the muscle of her outer thigh - it's like her clit's directly in line with the back of your throat. If you press your lips around her pussy and hold them firm, just like the way her knees are starting to tighten around your face, she's going to come. It will hurt her and it will leave her completely boneless, and you've fucked this much to the point where you have learned, well, she can never complain.

Not that she would. The slick dripping down your cheeks and throat and down to the front of your shirt - it's fucking everywhere - makes it obvious: any ability to talk is replaced with her just grinding her pussy against you, bucking and shouting, riding and writhing until you decide her pretty little pink slit can have another taste. 

Her only other option, really, is clenching and throbbing and cumming as hard as she can all over your waiting tongue.

"Hey. Get your fucking mouth back down," she breathes, taking her fingers out of her cunt and then promptly pushing your head back in, "and - uhnn, I - yeah, exactly. Mmmnghh - "

You smile, muffled and hot against the fabric of her thighs, her fingers twisting in the hair behind your ears and tugging firmly. "Oh."

"What did you want again?" she asks - except her body tells a different story, all flushed and keening and, fuck, absolutely soaked from your touch - she rocks against the base of your chin, slumping and dropping down and letting gravity do its work. You work your tongue over her throbbing clit, again, again, and Yujin moans loudly. So pleased.

Just this mess she's made of you. The smell that coats your nose, and chin, the way it feels when she ruts her whole body against the place where she's worked the hardest. Her breath stalls where you start to breathe in, and looking up at the cinched look in her face you press further.

It’s every little circle lick and lave and gentle nudge of the tip of your nose, where the feeling makes her cry out, where the sensation, overstimulated, is close to that perfect balance between too much and not quite enough, all while working your fingers into the swell of her ass, and finally her hips make small, greedy, selfish thrusts into your mouth.

She sobs for you. You sigh, contented, because you don't even need to ask.

"You're so fucking good," she murmurs, heel of her palm pushed into her eyes like she's struggling with a headache. "God, fuck, do that again."

It's so wet on your chin already, but you do it again, just for the way she bucks into it.

You give her the closest thing you have, your thumb riding the rim of her ass, tongue rubbing, stroking her pussy faster. Yujin's teeth work against the insides of her mouth as her hips shift forward, and she is clenching and begging for the cock you know would make her scream if you just stood her on her hands and fucked her from behind - it's such a cruel way of making her work to feel so fucking amazing - but you're here to indulge, and really, when she shivers and pleads the exact way she does, your mouth still full, how are you supposed to do anything besides fucking obey.

Yujin reaches up to grab onto the edge of the couch, anything to brace herself as her cunt sloppily gets wetter. The thickest part of your tongue is good enough for this. Everything about her clit is just this dull, swollen throb. Begging to be worked over the way you're licking at the entrance to her pussy, inside and all, kissing, sucking, kneading, pulling, - fucking her just right - until she starts fucking cursing up a storm.

"Oh god, god, oh fuck fuck, fuck," her hips shift until she's the only one riding, the only one fucking. Until you just get to lay there with your lips slack, drooling open, hands a frame for her entire body while she works your face, and nothing could be better - "yeah, oh, fuck, fuck yes - yeah - fuck, hahhh. You're going to make me fucking cum-"

And you almost say it: that's your line - it's not enough, you'll never have enough of her cunt - her clit or the slit, where she leaks, thick and sticky. Her slick tastes heavy on your tongue, and you can't swallow fast enough. Your fingers are so deep into the pliable skin of her ass - digging and needy and reaching for where she's tightest. Her hands pull sharply at your hair. You feel her, tightening her ass around your finger, cumming wet across your cheekbones and -

It goes on, her body pressing into you, until with a sudden snap of a cry, she cums.

“God, fuck-”

If Yujin doesn't have to see the look on your face after getting her off this hard, it's only because the pressure in her body has her knees across your eyes forced shut. A spasm clenches, almost rhythmic, through her thighs, and god, Yujin just cums her brains out. It's pretty hot. You make it count: pushing your fingers just as deep into her pussy, working, exploring - right as her whole body is tensing and coming apart and your other hand circles, two fingers, dipping down and through the cleft of her ass and into her tightest, hottest hole -

You know better than to rub at her entrance once the ripples and waves start - instead, it's more pressure.

Pushing up as deep as you can and your lips mouthing at her folds while her hips squirm for something harder, something stronger and with intent - like, maybe, if she thinks she is trying to push away, she will start to believe that the mess running from her hole isn't hers. It's yours. All that liquid heat pooling below her and what could ever make sense other than she needs more? She needs the way she trembles and shakes, the way her pussy weeps as you wring it for the pleasure that's well on its way -

You always feel like an idiot after, stupid with how much you enjoy this, what she gives you, but how could it be anything but fantastic, your vision dizzying when it swims from lightheadedness and the lack of oxygen to your brain. Yujin's holding you right where she needs, right between her thighs and next to perfection, just tight enough for you to groan, to make a low whine build in the back of your throat and that gets her, too.

There is the rush and a wave, the heat, of something that crests and breaks in her that has to match the absolute loss of control she seems to have all along - the only part you feel you are sure about is that Yujin always rides her cunt - all dripping lips and aching holes, swollen and flaring and practically begging to be fucked harder and more thoroughly - into every orgasm she's taken from you, until there's no where to run.

Even through your nose, and you're suffocating, her legs trembling with the rush of it all. You're gasping and shaking but she's shaking apart and you need that: to feel her melt from where her body collapses all its weight onto you and the way the aftershocks have to make it seem, at least for a moment, that she’ll never, ever recover.

"Fuck," Yujin sighs, "I fucking hate you."

(Translation: she can't fucking live without you.)

"Any time," you murmur and her entire body falls into you, straddled across your chest and slumped there, sweaty and spent. Your heart beats the moment, trying to remember when it was you could stop feeling this way about your roommate.

A part of you believes that, once upon a time, before all of this started, that your desire, your lust was rooted in seeing a friend who was beyond hot and simply unavailable.

A bigger part of you knows that asking for clarity isn't the point - because maybe, right now, in the way your hand has started massaging the soft skin under the curve of her spine, you should realize you can't live with it never happening again.

"What's my balance," you ask, rubbing your thumb into the crook behind her knee.

"Mm?"

You exhale.

"Two. I think you're good for two."

You laugh. "For real?"

She stretches.

"Or I suppose we can go for four or five, but that means you're paying for dinner, too." Yujin does this thing with her hair when she's excited. Swings it back, smiling wide.

Which is fair, you think, given the pulse between your legs throbbing and twitching as you picture it: the curve of Yujin's waist and the drop of her lower back, her bare ass. Her soaked little slit that can't help but beg to fucked and fucked and fucked, until she's trembling and quivering and leaking-

"Then I'm gonna eat," you promise her, "every last inch. Going to taste you and swallow."

Yujin shifts, sitting astride you.

You hum. "Still interested."

She simply kisses you - breathes you in - tasting herself on your lips and tongue, before leaning back with her palms flat against your chest and taking it slow as she starts to ease you into the kind of sex that doesn't leave either one of you with a throat quite so raw and dry.

So it's quiet in your apartment, just for a little while, when the afternoon starts to settle in and she rolls back onto her heels, not able to support the rest of her. You fuck her deep and it's amazing how quickly you both fall into rhythm. Yujin's clutching hard on either side of your hips. Folding herself back. Trying, by the end, to bury you where her fingers have been.

By the time she gets herself up on the couch, belly flat against the cushions and her hips arched back as she fucks herself with the length of your dick, you're just desperate. Aching in a way you know will happen any moment and even so, you can't even bring yourself to consider stopping because this is perfect - it's everything, really. To push her down, hold her still, and fuck her so thoroughly that she cries and shudders as you spill into her.

To have her.

Yujin holds a part of yourself so tender, something you have kept close for far too long, and watching her with her arm reached behind herself, clutching blindly with her fingers, as her moans go quiet with just these whimpery, little things, a thought occurs to you, of exactly how dangerous your roommate is -

Because with you fucking into her like this, this is more than sex ought to be. More than it’s ever been.

(More dangerous yet is thinking: maybe - perhaps - it is exactly what Yujin wanted, from the start.)

[seizingthesky]

REQUEST: Hajun/Fem!Reader who is inexperienced but wants to learn. FOR: @dogdays15

Thank you for requesting this!! It was so fun to work on. ALSO. Apologies for how long it took I really am so sorry. I hope it was worth the wait though!!!! @_@ Hajun our most beloved. This got really long MY BAD I like to ramble. Also I hope this isn't cringe I'm a lil rusty when it comes to smut

NSFW UNDER THE CUT.

As cruel as it might be, when you first confided your lack of sexual experience to Hajun, he had a big, stupid grin on his face. You could tell instantly that he was plotting something in that head of his.

When he saw how eager you were to learn, however...

He really can't help but tease you. Are you that eager to please him? How cute! He won't keep you waiting any longer, so don't pout so much.

Contrary to his sadistic and teasing nature, Hajun would be gentle and careful with you the first time you had sex. The last thing he wants to do is actually hurt you, whether physically or mentally, so he'll set aside his rougher tendencies for your sake.

The first thing he'd do is ask you to strip for him. It's no fun if he does all the work, right? Besides, you were the one who wanted to learn! Although, if you take too long, he might have to help you out a little bit.

Once you're unclothed and your body is fully exposed to him, Hajun is focused on your pleasure first and foremost. This isn't his first rodeo, but he doesn't mind taking his time with you. In a way, he's learning too; he's learning what turns you on and what makes you feel good. You're in good hands.

Hajun is good with his hands and knows what he's doing with them. He sits you between his legs and lets his hands explore your body, gently squeezing your breasts and tweaking your nipples just to hear the cute, soft gasps that leave your lips as he does.

If you're the type to get flustered or turned on easily, he'll absolutely make a cheeky comment about how wet you are for him already; he barely did anything! But it's cute, so he doesn't mind one bit.

You're eager to please him, he knows, but he wants you to feel good more than anything else, so next, he'll lay you down and spread your legs so he can get a taste of you. The way you're so sensitive and the moans and whines you're making only make him hungry for more.

Hajun is good at what he does, so it won't take long for you to be trembling under his touch while his tongue does the work.

He's half-tempted to overstimulate you just to hear you beg and cry for him, but he figures that's a bit too mean, so he'll avoid it... this time around. You won't be safe forever, you know.

Seeing you on your knees for him, looking up at him with such wide, eager eyes, drives Hajun crazy. How can you be so cute and innocent, even while doing such a lewd thing?

He tangles a hand in your hair after stroking it while you take him in your mouth. He's full of praise for you- you're so good for him, you're taking him so well. You're almost a natural; it's like you were made for him.

He might have teased you for coming undone so fast, but does he have any right to do so when the same thing happens to him? He just can't help it when you're looking at him like that and your mouth feels so good around him.

Next thing you know, you're back down on the bed with Hajun hovering over you, leaving kisses on your neck, and he slowly prepares you to take him. He won't do anything until you're absolutely ready, no matter how badly he aches to be inside of you.

When you give him the green light, he slowly sinks himself inside of you, a low, guttural groan leaving him as he does. He buries his head in the crook of your neck, perhaps leaving a mark or two (or three or four) as he does.

You cling onto him tightly, and Hajun can't help but wonder if he's a bit of a masochist when he feels your sharp nails dig into his shoulders and back.

He keeps his thrusts slow and steady while he mutters in your ear how good you feel and how perfect you are, how he's so happy he's your first.

By the time everything's said and done and the two of you are spent, drunk off of the lust and love you feel, Hajun doesn't think he could have a more perfect girlfriend than you.

You're tired afterwards, your eyes closed as you try to steady your breathing and racing heartbeat, but the kisses he presses to your face wake you back up.

Hajun teases you, saying that he took it easy on you this time, but now that he knows what you're capable of and how good you are for him, he might have a few tricks up his sleeve next time.

[neptunianmars]

practices to bond with your deities

i'm most familiar with Greco-Roman deities so i'll use them for examples, but feel free to ask me about a specific deity! which Greco-Roman deity you should work according to your birth chart indications

communication

say "good morning" / "good night" - this is not only out of respect but developing a habit to include them more and more in day to day life

talk to them - whether you're expressing gratitude, praying, asking for advice, or even just talking to them about your day, this will show you are thinking about them and looking up to them. if you feel uncomfortable or can't talk out loud, a journal works just as well

write to them - speaking or journaling, writing is an art form they will appreciate. make journal entries to them, write them a poem or a song. it doesn't have be a fancy, even just phrases here and there will make a huge difference

document your experiences - after spending time with them, write down how it went. keep track of what they seem to like, what they tell you, even small details that don't seem to stick out because when you go back and look, they might stick out then or you might notice patterns

share your food - giving your deity a small portion of your food each time you eat is a way to communicate your honor and respect to them, and also learn what foods/drinks they enjoy

divination - this is more than just tarot cards! there's other forms of cartomancy, there's dowsing, numerology, etc. i personally use astrology <3

connect with their energy - doing activities that appeal to your deity regularly with strengthen your connection with them. for example, my deities are Diana/Artemis and Luna/Selene, so I spend a lot of time in nature, especially at night under the moonlight

honoring

research them in great detail - to get to know your deity, learn everything there is to know: names and epithets, symbols, attributes (plants trees, stones, animals, planets, week days, etc.) domains, family, popular stories and myths

cook a full meal - you can decide on a meal that is associated with them (like steak for Mars/Ares) but you don't have to, either way just dedicating time and energy to make an entire meal just for them will say a lot

altar - this is probably what you will hear the most, but don't feel heavy pressure. it doesn't have to be huge, fancy, or expensive; you can start out with literally just a candle and some leaves. slowly over time decorate and personalize it to your and your deity's liking

offerings - this is more than just sharing your food with them, it's actually giving something solely to them. have you ever been in the mood for a certain food even though you weren't hungry at all? that might be them hinting that they want it. gifts that you think they'd like or you felt called to get, including crafts you made yourself

share your worship - i want to say this is 100% not a necessity, so don't feel stressed if there is no one you can talk to about your deity work. i have no one to talk to about it, but i share freely on this blog and am trying to make friends online who i can share with! not only is sharing a way to show respect and love for them, but others can give you ideas of devotion and connection

creation/digital

going digital is a great way to worship and connect with your deity, especially if you cannot be open about it

make a playlist - include songs that remind you of them or that you'd think they'd like that involve their domains or stories/myths

art - literally any form of art they will appreciate. music like singing or songwriting, drawing, painting, sculpture, literature like reading books they'd like or writing stories, poems, songs, etc., dancing, theater or acting, or literally anything else. you can get specific, like learning an instrument for Apollo

exploring - exploring areas you think they'd like or just new areas in general. you might find points of interest they'd enjoy (like crossroads for Hecate), or see/hear their sacred animals, or find things that coincide with their stories/attributes/symbols

spending time with them through hobbies - the best way i can describe this is through examples: going to parties/celebrating for Bacchus/Dionysus, cleaning and taking care of your home for Vesta/Hestia, gardening for Ceres/Demeter or Proserpina/Persephone, taking care of the ocean for Neptune/Poseidon, the list goes on and on. anything that involves their domain

pinterest board - kinda self explanatory, making a pinterest board (or a physical picture board/wall if you prefer) with images of your deity and their symbols/attributes.

phone background - setting your phone background as an image or your deity is not only a sign of honor and respect, but will help you develop the habit of thinking of them regularly. can also spark conversation with others without being direct about your worship!

[ghouljams]

I am giving the go ahead to go and analyze. For I too am foaming at the mouth for the info dump of analyzing and putting songs to fics. I can't not listen to hozier when i read your works now.

Your works are just hozier coded to me

(am gunna also start signin off uvu)

- a hungry raccoon 🦝

My Darling I am Hozier coded. I am in love with that man, and nearly all my WIPs have a Hozier title because I'm a huge nerd. (I even got to see him in concert in september AAAAH he was so good)

Actually the Cowboy AU is the only one that doesn't have a Hozier title. Ghost/Goose's official title it "Here's Hoping(Things Look Better on the Other Side)." Which I'm not planning on changing but "I'll Crawl Home to You" would also work really well. Anyway Ghoul being pretentious under the cut.

So I am going to preface this saying that I believe Hozier has said the song is about addiction, the way it starts sweet and then you can't get out. But I have my own thoughts because I'm a romantic, and you're going to listen to them. I am going to interpret this as Ghost telling folks about Goose.

"Boys, workin' on empty Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? I just think about my baby I'm so full of love I could barely eat There's nothing sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be She give me toothaches just from kissin' me"

OK verse 1. The first two lines are very much Ghost's time in the military. He's not really there, he's an empty person, a shell for the SAS to command, and he faces hell every day like that. He's hopeless, but he doesn't have a need for it, hell is an inevitability to him. Lines 3 and 4, I think that's again him in the military. He thinks about the life he's never going to have. He barely eats, he's in survival mode, there's not a life worth living for him so he only does what he needs to. Then with line 5 we meet Goose, and with line 6 Ghost decides he never wants anyone else. There's nothing sweeter than his baby, no one that takes him the way she does, she sees him for all that he is and she wants him anyway.

Then the last line of verse 1. UGH. The guilt. This is Price's kid. He loves her but she's bad for him, he can't have her. And Goose is still sweet to him, even when they both know there's no future for this, she still is sweet. AND IT HURTS. It hurts Ghost to be around her and so he pushes her away.

"Boys, when my baby found me I was three days on a drunken sin I woke with her walls around me Nothin' in her room but an empty crib And I was burnin' up a fever I didn't care much how long I lived But I swear I thought I dreamed her She never asked me once about the wrong I did"

Verse 2, we'll cover the chorus at the end. Yeah the sins. The SINS. Ghost pushing Goose away, but also a callback to how they met, to the bar and choosing each other. When Goose found him he wasn't a person, he was Ghost, he was bound for hell and nothing was going to lift him from the lake of fire. But then lines 3/4, Goose doesn't push to break his walls down, in fact she sets up her own. Stakes a flag on his head that say's "Goose's do not touch" and somehow that works. He has a safety net the likes of which he's never had before, and when he turns to look at Goose he realizes she doesn't have much either.

Line 4? She's given her whole life to a cause the same way he has, she's never made a choice that wasn't for someone else. There are expectations that she's taken on that no one should have asked her to. Ghost sees that, sees that he's a choice too and he has to decide if he's a good one. I think again(I know I've said this a million times) that Ghost has lived his career like he's dying. He's never cared about whether he makes it out alive, as long as the people he's watching over live it's fine. But Goose tells him, "you're not allowed to die" and he believes her. She never asks him what brought him to this point, but she's there when he's ready to tell her.

"My babe would never fret none About what my hands and my body done If the Lord don't forgive me I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me When I was kissing on my baby And she put her love down soft and sweet In the low lamplight I was free Heaven and hell were words to me"

Verse 3, lfg. Despite being a worrier, Goose really doesn't worry over what Ghost did in special forces. He served under her father, and that's worth its weight in gold. For all his "I'm dangerous" talk, Ghost has never raised a hand to her, never tried to hurt her, and never done anything to make her think that Price was wrong to recruit him. For all the bad he may have done, Goose holds onto Ghost's hope that it was all for the greater good.

They we wrap up the verse, lines 3-8, it doesn't matter if Ghost is bound for hell because he has Goose now, and whatever happens they're in it together. Goose accepts Ghost as he is, she loves him for all his flaws, and she has him body and soul. Lines 4 and 7 feel very much like an admittance from Ghost that Goose really wears the pants in their relationship. She's the one steering their ship, and he's perfectly happy to take her orders. It's freeing for him to put himself into the hands of someone who loves him so unconditionally that she would stand up at the gates of heaven and demand he be allowed in. She'd fight Gabriel himself for Ghost. But he'd never ask her to, because it doesn't matter anymore.

Heaven and Hell are just words, they're not a promise or a reward, or a weight around his neck. He has Goose, and she has him, and that's his heaven. He's free from trying to scrape a shred of forgiveness from a higher power, Goose is his God now.

"When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her"

Yeah Chorussss. We love the grave metaphors for Ghost, very cheeky little backstory nods. He's crawled out of a grave once, and he can do it again. Nothing will keep him from Goose, and the peace that she offers him. What's heaven, what's hell? He can find better rest in her arms, and he will always crawl home to her.

But also! "Lay me gently" GENTLY, he wants to be taken care of. Even in the lowest points of his life. He begs for it over and over between every verse. "Treat me gently, even if I leave it behind give me comfort." Over and over again. He doesn't expect comfort except in death, but by the end I have to think: who's laying Ghost to rest? Goose probably, and she will always treat him gently. Because for as big and scary as Ghost is, he craves softness. He's built tall walls to hide the cracks in his armor, to hide the delicate underbelly, but it's still there waiting to be loved. And Goose loves him, for all of it.

[whumpshaped]

lore: feeding

lore on demons and feeding. thank u to @whumpsday for asking all those leading questions

demons will survive without anything – they're immortal until killed. but to not go hungry/starve, they need to feed on others' emotions. aside from that they can and usually do feed on raw meat, which is a very good belly-filler, or they can even engage in some human food if they want for recreational purposes. but again, to actually avoid starving, they need emotions.

demons feed on (almost always) negative emotions, of which the most common ones are: fear (most demons are very good at feeding on this), disgust, anger, and shame. rarer ones include loneliness, anxiety, jealousy/envy, disappointment, boredom, things like that. the only one that can be considered positive and many demons can feed on it is sexual pleasure.

most demons are naturally good at feeding on one or two of those. being "good" at feeding on an emotion means it's instinctual, passive even. the demons can't even help it, and why would they want to? it's like a human going out in the sun and absorbing vitamin d. you can't just stop on command. being "bad" at feeding on an emotion means that it's mental work. it's like hunting for food: a predator must evaluate whether the prey is worth running after. for demons, trying to feed on something they're not naturally good at is like running half a marathon for a bowl of porridge. sure, it's food, but it took more energy to get it than what it'll actually replenish.

demons can work on getting better at feeding on certain emotions, but it's usually unnecessary. most of these feelings are equally easy to invoke in others, there's no need for a fear-inclined demon to try and get into feeding on shame. plus while they can get somewhat better, it's never a huge improvement, and it's a slow process.

between demons, humans, and angels, it's not easier or harder to feed on any one species. of course it's harder to catch humans and angels, but once they're securely within the demon's grasp, they're equally easy to feed on. the flavour however does vary! there's an ongoing demon debate on whether demons and humans even taste any different (both emotion and meat-wise), but like 99% agree that angels are tastiest inside and out. i'd say 65% says humans taste better, the remaining 35% says it's likely just the thrill of the hunt that makes the others say that.

"starving" isn't that big of a deal as in humans and works differently. starved demons get extremely restless instead of lethargic and tired. it's their bodies' mechanism for urging them to go hunt for something. their bodies don't change based on the amount they do or don't consume, they kind of stay the same all the time unless they possess the rare but very cool gift of shapeshifting.

demons can consume any amount of food, either emotional or physical. if they eat past the point of comfortable satiety, it doesn't really affect anything. most powerful demons spend their whole life well-fed, full and happy, rarely ever even experiencing any hunger. some swear by waiting a bunch between meals though, so the hunger sets in and sets off that adrenaline. they think hunting is better that way.

all creatures can feel when they're being fed on (emotionally). it's not readily apparent, but once they recognise that violating feeling once, they can confidently tell when it happens again. it's sort of like the tingle on the back of your neck when you feel like you're being stared at. it's not very pleasant (despite that, some demons love it lol there's a kink for everything)

as for some facts about my specific set of blorbos:

the devil can feed on absolutely anything. their special favourites are fear and disgust, but they're an omnivore.

astaroth is naturally inclined towards pleasure and shame, with fear as a close second (third i guess but those first two are pretty tied).

shax is naturally inclined towards fear and anxiety, and he HATES it. he wishes it was absolutely anything else. anxiety is one of the harder emotions to inspire in someone, and scaring another demon as a low-ranking silly goose is just so fucking hard. he also gets basically zero satiety from pleasure which sucks because maybe he could've been goodnat that. he usually depends on astaroth for food.

~

taglist: @the-scrapegoat @heavenly-whumper @whumpsday @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

Oh noes i hav 2 separate cult au thoughts if i may throw my pennies into the hat, panie 🥺

The first thought is wondering how hungry for power/favoritism cult au Jack would be. I mean with his history as the golden boy of the circus, and manipulating Rory for his own gains since they were young (to give him a new loving home ofc), whats to stop him from doing his best to climb the ranks of the cult harem?

It can't be too hard, just being his kind attentive self, doing what he's told, being an excellent leader (and giving the best dick out of all 9 of them), of course their great leader calls upon him more often than not. Sure it starts with nightly trysts, and asking his opinion on new programs to implement, but...being a leader is so stressful afterall. The MC went their whole lives thinking they were human, and now have all of these duties and expectations.

He wouldn't mind if they vented to him sometimes, asked for his thoughts on their decisions when they doubt themselves, having a shoulder to cry on when they're at their lowest and are feeling vulnerable. He's privy to all their secret desires and insecurities, they've told them as much whether they're leaning on his shoulder, or he's thrusting between their legs as they cling to him. groaning and mumbling how much he's "their favorite" and "if he'd ever want to run away just the two of them, they'd go with him ina heartbeat" through panting breath, running their hands through his hair.

During their pillow talk, maybe the boys pop up in conversation on occasion, Joseph looks so lonely, and he takes such good care of Rory... would it be so hard to ask him if he would spend some time with him? He practically idolizes Jack, and the MC would love it if he tried to be a really good friend to him on occasion, like he is for them~ and they'd be more than happy to reward him for doing such a good job

Maybe they ask him for more favors, just how far is he willing to go to please them?

and what would he do if he ever finds out that MC has done the same with the other boys in a different capacity? (Ik the wise choice of action would be to ask that maybe MC went through the same song and dance with the other boys, told Ian, Nick, Shaun, or Jean that they loved them the most and would run away with them ina heartbeat if they ever got the chance, and how angry/hot that'd probably make Jack)

but in all honesty Im way off topic and just thinkin ofa normal MC havin a bad day, and cuddling with Bo, and kissin his lil snoot and tell him that they're gonna pack him with a bunch of candy and money in a suitcase and run away from their adult Job, and they'd live near a beach lika hermit with their puppy.. before just getting up and going to work the next day, cult au or not.

I mean he's a boyfriend but a pet dog actually, but a boyfriend, and every family dog has to hear either the running away speech, or our rants about a tv show and how we'd write it better while they chew on something on the couch, not caring.

Hey, what? What the fuck, you just waltz in here, say the sexiest most correct shit ever and then just leave? How dare, I wish to kiss you on the mouth. The only thing I disagree with is how often Jack and y/n can be together. Jack's teaching full time and has to practice acts and lines with his friends for their show once summer break hits. He's not absent per say but spending a lot of time with him is rough, for me at least, if you're cool with kids then y'all can hang a lot more often. He does make time for you obvi but he's a busy body and doesn't feel comfortable taking a real break, a habit you might just have to shake him out of

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[messengerhermes]

so you suppressed your needs too long and now are overwhelmed

look, I'm not going to jump to the "you need to put on your oxygen mask first" speech, because chances are you know that and me going down that road is only going to invite shame.

Because here's the thing:

Even if we logically know we need to prioritize our needs before helping other people, there are still times and contexts where that's going to be really hard for us and we'll probably end up putting ourselves in the bottom of our top five, if we even manage to rank in the top five at all.

It's okay to not be the perfect master of self compassion and self care.

You're not a monster or a failure when this happens. You're trying, caring, and probably exhausted.

Hell, you may not even realize you're putting yourself last.

Some signs you may be in "Put yourself last" mode:

Emotion struggles. Maybe you're going through most of the day with no idea what you're feeling, except for brief, intense pockets where your feelings are so big you can't do or process anything else. Maybe your feelings are flickering rapid fire between emotions in ways that leave you disoriented. Maybe you're struggling to tell where the lines between your emotions and the people around you's emotions are.

Thinking issues. Do you keep losing track of what your to do list is? Are you struggling to remember the steps for basic tasks? Does it feel like you need to run to keep up with conversations, work projects, or anything logistic based?

Demand overwhelm. Does every request made of you send alarm bells blaring in your head? Do emails/texts/phone calls fill you with dread? If you work, are you struggling to stay on task and keep up with what's asked of you?

Sleep/energy issues: whether that's too much, too little, always feeling tired or even feeling a little manic in that "go go go" way

Bio Needs issues: Are you not noticing when you're hungry, thirsty, need to use the bathroom? Are you going hours without eating and once you do remember you need food, you feel disinterested? Is it hard to notice if you're physically uncomfortable/too hot/too cold without someone else asking you?

Here's the thing--put yourself last mode is often born from a mixture of good intentions (we want to help the people we care about) and bad socialization (we've been taught our needs are not important, especially in "crisis" situations). It's great to want to care about others, but it can become unhealthy if we do so to the detriment of ourselves. It can get dangerous if we aren't able to catch ourselves in this, we can risk damaging the very relationships we're trying so hard to show up in and can cause ourselves some very real harm in the process. So, what do you do? Truth be told, this is a long term issue to work on. It will take a lot of time and deliberate work and practice to reduce the chances of you falling into a place where you repress your needs. It will take a lot of time and practice to catch yourself when you start to enter the "I'm last on my list" zone. But, when you do catch yourself doing this, there are some short term things you can do. This is not a complete list and some of these may not apply to you. As always, take what works and leave what doesn't. "Oops I forgot I'm a person with needs" emergency triage kit:

Get out of the situation. If there is a particular situation or set of relationships that you're finding yourself stuck in this place with, get space. This may be hard, either because of external factors, or internal ones like feeling as if getting space will mean abandoning people you care for. But, if you're unable to prioritize your needs in a situation, sometimes you need a hard reset of distance (physical or mental) to remind your brain that you are a separate person from whoever you're trying to support and that forgetting that can actually strain everyone involved. Either take a full on pause from those circumstances, or if that's not possible, section off several hours a day where you are not engaged at all with that situation.

Create a feelings container. If you've been repressing your feelings, that dam is gonna break eventually. Depending on what your life circumstances are (ie, if you've been going through a stressful time yourself and denying yourself the chance to process that) and how long you've been putting your feelings on hold, you may have some pretty big emotions or a lot of intense emotions built up. Create space where you feel able to feel. Maybe read a book, watch a show, or listen to music that lets you feel your feelings. Take time with loved ones you feel able to be emotional in front of, ideally doing something that lets you move your body while also giving you room to talk about your feelings if you want or need to (this doesn't have to be very energetic, it can be painting, making a meal, going on a walk). If you have access to a therapist or support groups, engage with that space.

Reduce your responsibilities. Say no to shit that is not necessary and does not bring you joy. Let yourself do the bare minimum when it comes to chores and school/work. Make it as easy as possible to feed and clothe yourself.

Prioritize time for yourself. Make it an active thing in your calendar if you need to. But every day, try to spend at least two hours where you are not trying to be productive and the only human you are responsible for is you

Schedule low intensity social time. Hang out with people in your life who generally don't look to you as an emotional support pillar. Try aiming for activities that allow you to play and get you out of the house.

Give yourself grace. You're probably gonna have a hard time for a bit handling emotionally or mentally stressful situations. You may end up overreacting if people hurt your feelings. Things you typically can do easily may feel too much to handle. Don't beat yourself up. Be responsible for any harm you cause or balls you drop, but don't push yourself to do more than you can or treat yourself like an asshole because you spoke poorly or forgot a meeting.

[graniairish]

Walking on Eggshells – Part 2

Hello my dears. I just couldn't resist and had to write a second part. (maybe there will also be a part 3)

Pairing: Daryl x female! Reader

Words: 5159

Warnings: language, sexual content, NSFW, 18+ (my first attempt to write smut in English - hope it didn't get too bad)

Part one

---------------------------------------

"Um ... what ..."

You stood in the door of your room, confused. Hershel had finally released you into "home care" after almost a week of continuous surveillance in the infirmary. In your opinion, the older man was exaggerating a little. You were fine, you had no dizziness, and the headache was gone. But that did not stop Hershel from telling you to take it easy anyway.

Your beloved work in the vegetable fields had to wait for the time being.

Somewhat reluctantly, you had agreed to everything, only to finally be able to go back to your own four walls. You wanted to sleep in your own bed again, even if it was just a simple Prison bed in the former director's office. But still, it was your home.

But you did not expect what you found there now.

As if rooted to the ground, you stood in the middle of the room and looked around with big eyes in disbelief.

Your room, your little private realm, should actually be here. But the room in front of you was no longer your room. Your things were still there, but they were not the only ones that filled the shelves on the walls.

The most noticeable change, however, was your bed. It was still in the far corner of the room, but it looked absolutely strange. Because right next to it there was now a second, and the way the sheet was stretched over it made it look like a double bed.

"I thought Hershel wouldn't release ya until tonight," you heard Daryl's deep voice behind you.

Still slightly confused, you turned to the archer. He stood uncertain in the doorway, Crossbow slung over his shoulder, hands clasped on the strap. His blue eyes were fixed on you as he chewed the inside of his cheek - his nervous tic.

And how this man was nervous right now, and it was not just his ears that betrayed him - which had just turned deep red.

Daryl did not expect to find you here now. He actually wanted to talk to you about it first and not just put you in front of a fait accompli. Though, somehow, he would have done it one way or another.

He was afraid he had done something wrong, crossed a line, or something like that.

"I couldn't take it there any longer."

Only now did you notice that his hair was wet and still dripping. Could it be that he had showered?

Daryl nudged his nose up in a nod.

“I know we didn't talk about it,” he began uncertainly, “but Hershel said it would be better if someone took care of ya. And since there is no chance that ya will move back into the cell block, I thought that would be a good solution."

“That's right,” you had to smile, “I'm not going back there so quickly anymore. I like my privacy."

"Well, if it bothers you ... that I ... then ..."

"No no, I don't mind" you might answer a little too quickly, "I ... I was just ... surprised."

The man across from you felt instantly relieved. You, the woman he loved, wanted to live with him. He could hardly believe his luck.

Daryl took off his Crossbow and leaned it against the wall by the door before walking slowly towards you, his eyes full of love.

“Y/N/N we wasted so much time. I don't want to waste another minute. We don't know how much time we have left."

Daryl lovingly cupped your chin with two fingers while he gently touched your lips with his.

You could not help but melt into his touch. That you could do this now was still a miracle to you, and you would enjoy every single second of it to the full.

"But I sleep on the right side," you finally said with mischief in your eyes when your lips had separated.

"Forget it", Daryl snorted and went to the bed, "I'm sleepin’ between the door and ya."

You rolled your eyes with a smile. Always the protector.

"Don't think I didn't see that."

--------------------------------------

A few weeks had passed since the incident during your run. You are now working side by side with Rick in the vegetable fields again. The plants were blooming and developing fantastically - and they would be very good yielding.

After a long shower to wash dirt and sweat from your body, you made your way to the inner courtyard of the prison, which was used as a canteen during the warmer months of the year. Dinner had just started, and so all residents, regardless of whether they were old or new, huddled together to have their meal together.

When Daryl returned from his shift at the Guard Tower, he spotted you chatting with Carol who was just distributing the food. He liked how carefree you looked at that moment.

Without thinking about it, he walked over to you and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek before you had the chance to notice him.

"Yuck, don't do that," you giggled, "you're all sweaty."

"And hungry," he said with a grin.

Carol shook her head with a smile before filling two bowls and holding them out to you.

"Here take these, you lovebirds."

Taking the bowls Daryl nudged his nose up in a nod and went with you to the table where Glenn and Maggie were already sitting.

You had not noticed how your loving and familiar way of dealing with each other had been uncomfortable for some - or at least for one.

Michelle was sitting at a table with several other Woodbury residents and had been watching you with narrowed eyes. Green with envy, she got up at some point and went back to the cell block where she lived.

But Carol had noticed, and she would move heaven and earth to keep this woman from disrupting your relationship.

Little by little, Rick and the other members of your sworn family joined you to enjoy the meal together and to end the day.

"We should slowly start bringing our supplies up to date," Rick skillfully changed the subject.

That was his less than subtle way of reducing the conversation to necessities.

"Or in other words, time for a run," Daryl said in a nutshell.

“Tightly sealable preserving jars would be important. It will soon be harvest time and we have to preserve the fruit and vegetables. Thank God we have a lot more than we need right now."

That was the first thing that came to your mind. After all, it was important to have vitamins in winter too. Even if cooked fruit and vegetables were nowhere near as tasty as fresh ones. But in those times, you were grateful for everything. And in winter, fruit and vegetables were actually a luxury.

“We should also think about how to heat the buildings. The winter could last longer than we'd like”, Daryl expressed his concerns.

"If we had animals, pigs or goats, maybe even sheep, we would be better supplied with meat."

Hershel had always been a farmer, and you could only agree with the man with a smile.

"Or chickens," said Maggie with a dreamy look, "once again a real roast chicken, that would be something nice."

"Or turkey," you added.

"I just think you can't find something like that on the next street corner," said Glenn, who now leaned over the map that Rick had spread out in the middle of the table.

"Well, the weekly cattle market will probably be canceled."

Daryl's cynical response made you roll your eyes.

"If ya keep doin’ this, these things will eventually get stuck," he said in your direction with a raised index finger.

"That's what my grandmother always meant," you said with a shrug, "and nothing has happened so far."

“You both sound like an old married couple. Really disgusting”, Carl shook himself.

You and Daryl looked at each other questioningly for a moment before you slapped the boy lightly on the back of the head at the same time - he on the right and you on the left.

For about five seconds there was absolute silence at the table, until everyone started laughing uproariously as if on command - except for Carl, who was rubbing his head tightly.

“What that would prove,” Rick grinned as he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, “but seriously now. Does anyone have any ideas?"

“I know there was a farm supply center in the south. From seeds to packaging material to combine harvesters, everything was there. The only question is whether that still stands."

Hershel leaned over the map and pointed to an area southeast of the Prison.

“That's a good hundred miles, and only if you drive on the main roads. It will be a run for several days on back roads."

Your stomach cramped painfully at Glenn's words. You knew that Daryl would go on the run. Unfortunately, since the incident, it had become very clear to you that there was no assurance that someone would come back from a run. And the thought that something might happen to Daryl made you uneasy.

“While we're there, we might as well stop by this huge warehouse complex 30 miles to the east. I think there are still some useful things there. "

Glenn glanced at the place on the map Maggie was pointing with her finger.

"Wasn't that an Amazon warehouse?"

"Yea, why are you asking?"

"Well, I think that this time it won’t work with overnight express."

At Glenn's stupid saying you had to smile, like everyone else. Though yours was more of a bitter smile. This run would certainly not be overnight.

----------------------------------------

"Everythin’ okay? Ya are never that quiet."

It was getting late. The moon was shining through the windows of your shared room and you could hear the crickets outside. You were snuggled close to Daryl, your head on his shoulder, your legs intertwined. You stared in silence into the darkness of your room, which was only faintly illuminated by the moonlight.

Daryl gently stroked your back. Usually there was something incredibly calming about it, and it never took you long to fall asleep relaxed - but not today. The worries about what could go wrong with the run did not let you calm down that night.

In a few hours he would be gone with Maggie and Glenn, as well as a few others. The fear of losing him paralyzes your thoughts.

"Ya don’t sleep. I know that. I can hear ya thinkin’."

You did not answer, just took a deep breath - in and out again. What should you say?

> I'm afraid something will happen to you <

> I'm scared of losing you <

> Please don't go <

There was nothing to be said, just that nagging feeling was there. This fear that the man by your side could suddenly be snatched away from you.

Daryl put his arm around you and hugged you tight as he kissed the top of your head and let his lips linger there for a moment.

"We're a well-coordinated team," he finally began as he leaned his head against yours, "and it's not the first time we've done such a big tour."

It almost seemed as if Daryl had read your mind, yet all his confidence could not take away your worries.

"I promise I'll come back to ya."

"You can't promise that Daryl."

The archer released his hug and shifted his weight so that you were eventually half under him. Leaning on his left arm, he looked down at you, the contours of your face only faintly visible in the light of the darkness.

"I promise I will come back to ya Y/N. We both have our whole lives ahead of us, and I don't intend to miss a second of it."

"Nobody knows ..."

But you did not get any further, Daryl's lips were instantly on yours. At first the kiss was deep and full of longing, but after a while it became more and more hungry. Your fingers ran through his hair and played with them on the back of his neck while your tongues fought for dominance.

As Daryl's hands slowly moved down your ribs, your lips parted for a much-needed breath.

Right at the beginning of your relationship, you discussed that sex would not be an issue for you for the time being. After what had happened to Lori, Daryl simply could not and did not want to take the risk of pregnancy. Condoms were not to be found for a long time. And neither of you wanted to play Russian roulette - like Maggie and Glenn.

But there were other ways of showing how much you loved each other, how much you wanted each other - other ways of having fun together.

Daryl's right hand went down to your ass, which he gripped tightly as he pulled you close.

You moaned softly as you could feel him rubbing his growing erection on your most sensitive spot. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him closer to you. An approving growl left his mouth as he left hot kisses on your neck, making sure to suck the spot that caused your thighs to tighten around him.

You ran your trembling fingers through his hair, trying to hold onto the feeling of his lips against your skin.

The hand on your ass eventually moved down the back of your thigh - as he pulled it closer - which changed the angle of your pelvis significantly. The lustful moan that came out of your lips as you rubbed against him only made him harder against the layers of clothing.

God how good it felt for him when you took your pleasure into your own hands. But you did not get far, because Daryl's kisses slowly wandered further down. A pleasant shiver ran through you.

You knew exactly what he was up to and the anticipation made you almost impatient.

But he took his time, first freed you from your shirt and then devoted himself to your nipples with relish - first the right, then the left - until they were both hard and upright.

The longing feeling in your most private place became more and more unbearable and in an attempt to get some friction, you tried to rub yourself against his thigh.

Daryl only chuckled.

"Impatient, are we?"

Daryl's kissed down your stomach before leaning back. He was now kneeling between your legs. For a moment he soaked up the picture in front of him, burned it into his memory. How you laid in front of him, lower lip between your teeth, breathing heavily, your legs spread, the unmistakable traces of your arousal on your underwear.

A moan came from your lips as he finally ran his hands up the inside of your thighs. Without touching the place where you needed him most, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties and freed you from this annoying piece of fabric with one flowing movement.

The sight the archer now saw made his cock twitch painfully.

It was almost like torture how slowly he ran his thumb through your folds and collected what already glistened there.

With faltering breath, you watched him as he slowly brought his hand to his mouth and licked his thumb clean with an animalistic growl.

You came almost instantly at the sight.

When he finally sank his middle finger into you, you threw your head back and closed your eyes in delight. He pumped his finger into you a few times before adding a second. He twisted and curled them in just the right way so that with each thrust he perfectly hit the spot inside you that made you squirm under him.

Your moaning grew louder as he closed his lips around your sensitive bundle of nerves and began to suck rhythmically. Your orgasm rolled closer and closer, and the knot in your stomach tightened until it was about to snap.

"Daryl - fuck - I ..."

"then let go - for me."

And that was exactly what you did. You came with his name on your lips, repeated like a prayer, and with each new wave Daryl took whatever you were willing to give him. You tasted like nothing else to him, and he could never get enough of you.

He slowly kissed his way back up to your neck while his fingers were still moving slowly inside you.

Your hands went into his hair and hungrily drawn his lips to yours. Just a moment later your tongues fought for dominance; you could taste yourself on his. Now your hands slowly made their way down to his crotch. He wanted to hold back. But he could not help himself, and grinded into your palm to find the relief he needed so damn bad.

Daryl's hips spasmed, thrusting forward a few times before he was groaning and shaking his head.

"No. Tonight is just about ya."

"But ..."

Before you could go on, his lips were back on yours in a demanding kiss.

" I wanna make ya feel so good today, that ya'll be happy to have a few days off."

And with that statement, his fingers left your hot core, only to re-enter with one more.

Your eyes rolled back when you felt him stretch you.

"Fuck," you hissed as you tried desperately to find hold while Daryl's fingers kept trusting into you.

As he felt the sweet pain of your nails scratching his back, his cock twitched painfully in his shorts.

The thought that you marked him, that you would let him run around with declarations of your love on his body for the next few days, almost drove him mad. He started rubbing his crotch against your thigh for some relief as he fluidly moved in and out of you, getting you closer and closer to your next release.

The knot inside you got tighter and tighter, and you tried desperately to keep it from snaping again. Your legs started to shake involuntarily, and you knew you would not be able to resist much longer. Your breath came in shorter intervals and your moans got higher and higher. It would not last long till you would be swept away by pure bliss.

When the wave finally hit you, it was an overwhelming feeling. Your inner walls clenching and unclenching around his fingers again and again as your orgasm swept you away like a tsunami.

It took you a few moments to come back from your high while Daryl's gentle movements of his fingers let your orgasm slowly fade out.

"Okay", you began with a trembling voice as he slowly left your inner core, "that was something else."

Daryl’s head rested on the crook of your neck as you slowly recovered your breath, but you could still feel him chuckled lightly.

Slowly you stroked his hair and patted his neck. When he shifted his position slightly so that he did not crush you any further, you noticed that his shorts were suspiciously stuck to you.

Apparently, he had enjoyed this whole interaction too.

"I love you," you whispered before leaving a kiss on his sweaty forehead.

"Love ya more."

------------------------------------

You patiently worked your way through the corn plants with the rake. The work was strenuous because the plants were close together - after all, you needed the greatest possible yield in a small area - and the relentless Georgian sun burned down on you.

Your hair stuck to you and the sweat kept dripping from the brim of your straw hat. Your arms ached, and despite the leather gloves you wore, you had blisters on your hands where they were tightly gripping the wooden handle of your gardening tool.

But despite everything, you kept working. You had to work through the soil so that the weeds had less chance to dispute the valuable nutrients from the crops.

This large field that you had laid out in the style of the "three sisters" was your whole pride. Corn, beans and pumpkins, the holy trinity of this bed, were perfectly coordinated. The Native Americans had already cultivated these three plants in this way.

And what worked for them could work for you too.

You have been toiling for hours. Your clothes were soaked in sweat and your back ached. Nevertheless, you continue to work, moving slowly but steadily through the beds.

"Here," you heard Rick say behind you at some point.

With great effort you straightened up and massaged your back. You felt every single vertebra as it slowly popped back into its original position. An exhausted moan could be heard as you finally turned to the man behind you.

Rick just stood there, bottle of water in hand, his eyes fixed on the fields.

You gratefully took the bottle from him and took a few sips of the refreshing liquid. Especially with such sweaty work in the blazing sun, it was incredibly important to drink enough if you did not want to suffer sunstroke.

And unfortunately, you were predestined to forget it sometimes. But Rick paid attention. You were family, and family looked after each other.

“Looks really good. If the plants continue to grow like this, we will be able to bring in quite a good yield. You are really a talented little farmer."

You looked at him in surprise with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not sure right now whether I should thank you or whether you insulted me."

“Believe me Y/N”, Rick laughed and put his hand on your shoulder, “that was meant as a compliment. An honest compliment. If we didn't have you, we almost certainly wouldn't even be able to harvest half as much. You really have a knack for it."

“Well, everyone does what they can. And I can do that."

You lowered your gaze. You felt uncomfortable when someone complimented you, so you tried to belittle it.

"No", Rick smiled at you friendly, "some do more than others."

After a long day of work and a long - but cold - shower, you sat down with Carol for dinner. You missed your family members. You missed Daryl.

The presence of the older woman had been a comfort to you in the last few days. This run had been going on for five days now, and it was impossible to tell when they would be back.

The feeling you felt in the pit of your stomach was almost the same as when Daryl had disappeared into the forest with Merle. Back then you thought you would never see him again.

But it was different now. Now you had hope that you would see him again.

Maybe.

“It's only been five days Y/N/N. It's too early to worry,” Carol tried to cheer you up.

"I'm not worried," you said stubbornly while you continued to stare at your now cold food.

"Yes of course. That's exactly why you've been poking around in your meal for ten minutes. You haven't even taken a bite."

You looked tiredly at the woman across from you.

“Eat, you worked hard. And tomorrow you will work as hard again as I know you. You need the calories. And believe me, you'd rather eat it voluntarily than have me cram it into you."

Carol had used her best mother voice. Even if Carol was not many years older than you, this woman had somehow become a mother's substitute for you.

After a few moments you finally began to empty your bowl slowly.

Getting around the days was easy. There was always enough work in the gardens and in the fields, you were busy and did not have much time to think.

In the nights it was different. They were bad.

The bed was way too big for you alone, and you lacked the warmth of Daryl's body.

Even on the hot nights of Georgia, you always fell asleep snuggled together. Ever since you had spent your first night like this, you knew that you could never do it again without it.

Now you were alone. Yet again. Daryl was still on this fucking run, and the solitude in those four walls that you had always enjoyed before, now seemed overwhelming to you.

What is he doing right now? Was he okay? Was he thinking of you, too?

With these wistful thoughts, you finally drifted into a dreamless sleep.

-----------------------------------------------

"If they are not back by tomorrow, we will send a search party out," announced Rick over breakfast.

You made no reply as you continued to choke down your small portion of porridge, bite by bite. You were not really hungry, but Carol's stern look had kept you from skipping breakfast.

“I'm sure they are fine. They will definitely be back here soon, "said Hershel soothingly," they are all experienced with such actions. They are sure to be fine."

Yes, they were all experienced, knew how to behave and how to protect themselves, but that nagging feeling persisted in you.

You had spent the whole morning working in the fields again, laboriously dragging buckets of water to provide the crops with enough moisture. If it did not rain soon, this would probably be your main occupation for the next few days and weeks.

You had two canisters tied to the outer end of a thick wooden stick. So, you could carry the heavy burden on your shoulders and not in your aching hands.

As you were trudging up the hill again with a full load of water, Rick was leaning against the base of the central guard tower, smiling, and staring into the distance.

"Looks as if we could save ourselves the search."

These words made your body tingly and you immediately turned to face the gates. You could not prevent an unspeakably bright smile from spreading on your face.

"Oh my god," you whispered when you saw the column of cars approaching the prison.

An unmistakable chopper at the head of the convoy.

An army of butterflies exploded in your stomach when you saw Daryl. He was back. He really came back to you.

When he finally brought his bike to a stop and casually dismounted it, you couldn't hold back any longer. Without further hesitation, you dropped the water canisters, which hit the floor with a thud, and immediately spread their moist contents over the floor.

You ran quickly towards Daryl. But even before you had covered half the distance, he was already coming towards you - a radiant smile on his lips.

When you finally met, you immediately put your arms around each other in a tight hug. Your head rested on his chest while he laid his head lovingly on top of yours.

Cuddled so tightly you could hear how fast his heart was beating, and an indescribable feeling of happiness flooded your body. Daryl was back - back by your side.

"Did you miss me," he finally began, and you could hear him grinning right away.

“No,” you answered, “not at all. Not one bit."

“Felt the same way."

With these words, his strong arms tightened around you even more, as if he were trying to melt into you.

So absorbed in your reunion, it took some time until you noticed that Rick and Carol were already discussing the successful run with the rest of the group.

"We got almost everything," you heard Glenn say when you had finally separated from each other and now went to the cars where everyone else was standing - your little fingers still hooked together.

"We found hundreds of canning jars and even seeds," added Sasha.

"Wheat, oat and a lot more." Maggie pointed to the back of the overcrowded pickup truck.

"And we also solved the problem with the heating," said Daryl mysteriously.

This run was really a complete success. But the biggest surprise was yet to come.

> C O C K A D O O D L E D O O <

Suddenly the gushing and loud greeting was silent. Inquiring eyes met knowing faces.

You and Rick looked at each other as to ask if you really had heard this now.

> C O C K A D O O D L E D O O <

"What the hell is that", Rick wanted to know.

"What did it sound like?"

Daryl grinned mischievously and leaned casually against his bike; arms crossed over his chest. His chin raised challengingly.

"No," was all you could say at that moment.

"Yea," Daryl nodded, still grinning.

"No way!"

"Yea, a rooster and six chickens."

"How? Where? How?"

You were completely surprised and had to grin broadly. That was one of the best that could have happened to your community.

"Believe it or not, they were just walking around on a street corner," Glenn explained, looking incredulous about his statement himself.

"So the cattle market wasn't closed after all," you replied sarcastically.

Immediately Daryl had to roll his eyes.

"Just don't start with that," you chuckled and gave him a playful clap on the upper arm.

“You really missed something Y/N,” said Maggie with a grin, “believe me it was really impressive to see how Daryl caught the poultry. Didn't know that he was doing so well as a farmer."

"Yea, ha-ha, very funny!"

Daryl's ears had turned deep red, but then he had to laugh himself at the thought of this chicken-catching operation.

"I really would have liked to see that," you said with a laugh.

"Well, maybe there will be a repetition," said Glenn, "we have to get the critters out of the car somehow without them getting lost again."

"Ya can forget that right away," Daryl announced in a stern voice.

"Don't worry, I'll help you", you smiled at your boyfriend.

After a few minutes of reunion, you started to get the supplies out of the cars and to distribute them in the storage rooms.

Building a chicken coop was definitely on your to-do list for tomorrow. And it has been a long time since you had been looking forward to a job as much as this.

"And I found something for you too," Maggie whispered to you when she put her arm around your shoulders in a friendly manner.

You two had just cleared away a load of canning jars and were about to trot back to the cars.

"And that would be?"

Surprised you stopped and looked at her questioningly. You did not ask her to get you anything.

“I won't tell you yet,” she smiled, “but you will definitely enjoy it - as well as Daryl."

With these words, your best friend left you in the yard as she made her way back to the cars with a mischievous grin.

Part one Part tree

[summonerscenarios]

Since you're adopting most of the kids, now I can just invision those TAS characters who wants a family with the MC (Takemaru, Gullinbursti, Temujin, Ophion and etc because I can't remember-) just going straight to heaven from seeing you cooing over the kids like a mother does and they tryna slide into the co-parenting too with you 👀 👀 Would you accept though if they actually asked to take care of the kids with you ?

dfghjkhgfg okay so I MAY have read this one wrong but it was too good of an idea not to roll with lmao. Ended up leaving Ophion out as I ran out of steam but I do hope these turned out okay (also for the record I would absolutely co-parent with Tak and Gull in a heartbeat because who wouldn’t dfghds)

----------------------

Takemaru

If you could adopt these kids, you’d do it in a heartbeat. You’re not sure what made you come to this conclusion - maybe it’s because seeing the lack of parental figures in their life made you want to take them under your wing, or maybe you just wanted them to be given the same amount of love and support and have someone in their corner who’s willing to support and help them. Whatever the reason, it’s made you a parent magnet, and you’ve become a person who many kids look up to (outside of battle of course - you are not letting them be as reckless as you are), which in turn has just made you more protective of them. Even if it’s just little things, like carrying around snacks for them if they look hungry, helping them with schoolwork, giving them advice when they come to you for help with issues that they’re having - whatever it is, you’re always willing to pitch in to help make their lives just a little bit easier to navigate through.

You’re so used to taking on a parental role you don’t think twice about helping Robinson button up his coat while you’re outside - with the weather taking a turn the last thing you’d do is let him go out without at least keeping warm. You admit that you end up fussing a bit over making sure Robinson’s bundled up, as you just wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to catch a cold, so you’d paused to make sure he had it buttoned all the way up and had the zip fastened. You didn’t think much about giving him your scarf and gloves either, as Robinson at least seems grateful for the additional warmth when you offer it to him. You’re just finishing up wrapping the scarf around the boy’s shoulders and making sure that he’s doing okay when Takemaru spots what you’re doing.

The oni can’t help but admire how you fit into the role of the loving parent so well, watching you talk with the kid as you loop the two ends of the scarf together and make sure that he’s nice and snug. You smile softly watching Robinson tug up the garment a little higher to protect his cheeks from the cold with a happy expression of his own. 

It’s no secret that the thought of starting a family with you has crossed his mind before, and he’s even let it slip around you once or twice, but just seeing how you’ve practically adopted these children and shown them your love and support makes those thoughts come back full force. 

What really does him in is the way your expression lights up when you finally notice him, waving him over to come and join the two of you as you straighten up and ruffle Robinson’s hair. You’ve introduced Tak to the kid before, and it’s clear that he’s attached to you with how close he sticks to your side whenever he sees the two of you together - he’s definitely got the protective son vibe down pat. But upon seeing how you beam at the oni as he strides over, Robinson eases up a bit upon seeing how eagerly you greet him, and soon enough the three of you are moving on to enjoy the festivities together.

 A lot of the festive stores are still open, with colorful lights bathing the stalls and crowds in a warm, multi-colored glow as everyone moves around. Robinson seems to be enjoying watching everyone pass as the three of you walk around, though Takemaru notices that he keeps trying to get a peek at all of the open stores as they pass, only to keep getting blocked by one person or another ruining his view. It’s around the third time he notices this that Tak leans down and asks the kid if he wants a boost to be the lookout for cool looking stalls; Robinson seems to hesitate for a moment, squeezing your hand as he mulls it over, then Robinson nods, proudly declaring that Tak can leave it to him as the taller man stoops down to help the boy climb up onto his shoulders. 

You can’t help but feel a warmth in your chest as the sight of Tak carrying Robinson around on his shoulders, the younger of the two working diligently to look for places to head to next as he tells Takemaru what he sees - but alongside that you can see the wonder and awe in his expression that’s more fitting for his age. Robinson really hasn’t had much of a chance to just be a kid, and your heart swells watching him perched atop Tak’s shoulders. They almost looks like father and son - that thought makes you giggle, but you keep it to yourself for now, instead returning your focus back to the two as Robinson points out something further into the main venue, patting Tak’s head to get the transient’s attention and urging him to move over to where he’s pointing. Not wanting you to get left behind, Tak reaches out for your hand and you slip your hand into his without hesitation, squeezing it tight as you follow along with Robinson’s directions, joking that you want a turn as lookout next and watching Tak’s expression turn a lovely shade of pink when you muse that he could carry the both of you with ease thanks to how strong he is.

Gullinbursti

With how many younger members your guild’s managed to pick up over the course of its founding, it makes sense that as guildmaster you’d take it as your responsibility to keep an eye on them and make sure they’re safe. Or at least, that’s what you tell others when they point out that you’re acting more like a doting parent than a guildmaster - a fact that you’re quickly realizing is true even if you don’t admit it outloud. It doesn’t help that they all look up to you so much either, often tagging along with you whenever you’re going out on guild errands or need help with something. You’re always eager to step in and help them in return - you want to make sure that they’re all safe and having as much fun as they can whenever they’re around, whether that’s helping them with their schoolwork or giving them advice. You wonder if this is how Mr. Mononobe feels about the students - it’s always been a running joke that he’s team dad of the school, taking everyone under his wing and guiding them - but you’ve caught people calling you the team parent of the summoners and it’s always given you pause. It appears you’re not the only one who’s taken notice of you acting parental to some of your younger peers.

You’re helping the kids with some schoolwork, with Kijimuna perched on your lap and R-19 and Agyo flanking on either side, watching diligently as you point out some of the questions Kiji’s struggling on and help him work through it. Usually it would be a handful to get them to concentrate - Kijimuna loves to play and have fun, and more often than not manages to rope the other two into playing with him; however, you’ve managed to get them settled down, and they all look surprisingly focused as they listen to you talk. It’s going a lot better than you thought it would, and in the middle of studying Gull wanders into the room and looks at the scene he’s greeted with. He gives you a curious look but when you wave him to come over he follows the direction without question, taking a seat close to Agyo and watching you continue with the lesson just as intently as the kids are - it’s honestly kind of cute.

Kijimuna and Agyo both end up drifting off mid-way through the studying session, with Kiji having twisted around while you talked to sleep with his face buried into your shoulder, and with Agyo having nodded off against Gull’s side cuddling into his pelt. They look so comfortable you don’t have the heart to wake them, cradling the child close to your chest as you look over at Gull and watch him use an arm to steady Agyo. When Gullinbursti looks up at you he regards you with a perplexed expression, watching you run a hand through Kijimuna’s hair as you close up the books and clear up the mess of pens and pencils, sorting them into a neat pile with a chuckle of how easily these kiddos wear themselves out. You catch him looking at you and quirk a brow, asking him what’s up, and notes out loud that you look so happy whenever you’re taking care of them - much like a parent. 

Hearing Gull’s words you get a little bashful but still find yourself smiling fondly as your gaze flickers down to Kijimuna as he mumbles something in his sleep; patting his head you find yourself agreeing with him. Of course you’re happy - you love being there to support them and seeing them grow; it makes you feel proud being around to see them learn about the world around them, it’s almost like they’re your kids. Guess that really does make you feel like a parent, huh?

At your response Gull takes a moment to think, giving you an intense look right before he opens his mouth to respond:

“Master, would more children make you even happier? If so, I would be happy to provide as many as you’d like.”

You flush at the words, and go to quickly correct him that you don’t think that making children is quite the same thing as helping the younger guilds with homework, but mid-sentence R-19 - who’s apparently been awake throughout this whole exchange - chimes in. When he mentions that you have yet to show any signs of pregnancy, and doesn’t understand why Gull made such a comment you just about keel over where you sit. It seems as though your floundering ended up waking Kijimuna up too, as he goes from rubbing his eyes to letting out a loud gasp at the word pregnancy, and now you’ve got an excitable tree spirit on your hands, bouncing around and asking you if there’s really a baby coming to the guild. Right as things can’t get any worse a shrill scream of “A BABY?!” from a now very much awake Agyo has you burying your face into your hands with a groan, already dreading the conversation you’re going to have to have with them before Shiro catches wind of the situation.

Temujin

Ikutoshi sometimes kicks up a fuss about you acting like you’re his parent, but he at least respects that you don’t push the idea - you don’t baby them or look down on them which Ikutoshi respects and Kagatsuchi loves, so it comes as a surprise to very few that you end up practically adopting the pair as time goes on. On more than one occasion you’ve ended up taking on the mentor role with the two of them, helping them out with their training whenever they come up to you to spar - they’re both always eager to test their mettle against you, and you’re eager to teach them what you know. If you can’t stop them from getting into fights, the least you can do is make sure that they go into them prepared.

This is exactly how Temujin comes across you. Temujin usually takes his training sessions outside of the main city, removing the distractions of the bustling world to immerse himself in honing his already impressive skills. And it is here that the two of you end up crossing paths, with you having just finished a sparring session with Ikutoshi and Kagutsuchi that had taken place outside of the dojo. Ikutoshi's sat across from you, sat on a log and working on lacing up his boots as you help Kagutsuchi into his - you don’t really need to help him, but the small acts like that are well worth the smiles and words of thanks that you get from the kid in return. You hear Temujin approach before you see him, tilting your head back as you greet the archer, and noting your surprise at running into him in this area. 

You’re expecting him to make some kind of comment - some not-so innocent slip of the tongue like you’re used to so you have a prime reason to leave. What comes out instead is an invitation to join the three of you - it appears as though you’re preparing to make your way back into the city, so he would like to accompany you until then, if only for a little while. His request gives you pause and you purse your lips, mulling the request over; there’s a few beats of silence before you shrug - eh, why not? So long as he doesn’t pull anything you’ll handle his company for a little while. You tilt your head, gesturing for him to take a seat by you as you finish up with Kagusuchi’s boots, and he settles down, folding his arms and watching you as you move. 

You may not notice it, but you’re more doting on the children than you think, pausing mid lace-up to fish some snacks you’d prepared out of your bag and handing them to the boys. The expression on your face when you regard them is soft, and it doesn’t take a genius to note that the way you’re treating them is less like an older sibling and more like a protective parent. Kagutsuchi is equally attached to you, and while Ikutoshi seems annoyed on the outset, it isn’t hard to see that he doesn’t entirely hate the way that you treat the two of them. It’s as though watching a parent and child, bringing them out to spar and guiding them as you do so - the thought is amusing to Temujin, and he finds himself entertaining that line of thinking as he continues to watch you. Once you finish tying up both of Kagutsuchi’s shoes the boy jumps to his feet, giving you a beaming smile as he thanks you and you chuckle, ruffling his hair and letting him run over to Ikutoshi as you stand to your feet and spin around to face the wolf. Following your lead, Temujin also rises to stand and he comments on how doting you seem to be with the young boys, a comment that has you raising your brows as you ask him what he means.

As expected, the next words out of Temujin’s mouth have to do with children, specifically his children and how your affinity towards childcare is yet another reason why you’re such a desirable candidate to bear his children. You give him an aghast look, sincerely hoping that the kids at least didn’t hear him say that or you’d kick his ass here and now; but you don’t need to even respond. No sooner do the words leave his mouth, a boot comes sailing over your shoulder and just barely misses nailing the wolf in the side of his head. You turn around to find Ikutoshi still sitting on the same log, mid-way through tying one his boots with the other missing as he bluntly comments that the shoe was too loose and that he might need some help, all the while giving Temujin a pointed stare as he says this.

You’re quick to step in and help him, scooping up the stray boot and jogging over to the boy, kneeling down to help him lace them both back up. Perhaps you’re just happy that Ikutoshi’s letting you help him, or you’re focused on getting the laces tight enough for the boots not to slip off, but you fail to notice the glare Temujin and Ikutoshi share over your shoulder, an unspoken dare for the wolf to just try and pull something like that again - if he wants to get to you, he’s got some protective sons to get through first.

[anxiouspotatorants]

HOLD UP!!! You immediately had me at the "Twilight AU but Rory is the vampire" here 👀👀👀👀. Color me intrigued AND inspired.

Ok so first off, the 'reveal' conversation. The COMEDY potential!! Just Jess being overall nervous but also pretty curious to know about what Rory as a vampire is like, whereas Rory is trying pretty hard to make him be more afraid and to hopefully get him to run away screaming so she can have some reason to tackle him, but this guy just isn't budging!

The shiny skin reveal! Like first off, THIS CAN'T BE THE SAME WITH EDWARD BECAUSE RORY'S NOT PLANNING ON STRIPPING IN FRONT OF JESS HERE (no matter how much she might like him despite her better judgement). Imagine the complete lack of suspense when she just uncovers her arm and shows Jess how it sparkles into the sunlight.

Rory: This is the skin of a killer, Jess!!

Jess: Wow, didn't know murderers had a continuous discount at Claire's for silvery glitter.

Rory: 😒

JESS WITH THE ICONIC GOOGLE SEARCH. THE DREAMS ABOUT RORY COMING IN WITH THE FULL DRACULA GETUP, MENACINGLY LEANING IN TO BITE HIM AS HE TAKES HIS "Paint me like one of your french girls" pose. Jess waking up from it not knowing whether he's scared or has just figured out a new kink for himself.

Jess dodging all of Rory's attempts to get him to stop wanting to see her by just coming in and asking her all of these questions while they're in the middle of the recess crowd in school. Rory giving up after the fourth attempt and answering all of his questions in a hushed tone.

Jess: So you can read people's minds?

Rory: Yes, except for yours. I still haven't figured out why though.

Jess: Huh, maybe Liz's all-round smoking diet during her pregnancy had its benefits after all.

Rory: Jess!!

I'm not sure whether I'd want Rory to be an older vampire like Edward or a more newly-made one, and in this case Lorelai is potentially still human but knows about Rory's condition despite Rory trying to keep her in the dark about it when she first turned. They still haven't found a way to break it to Richard and Emily though, despite their various brainstorming sessions over it.

Lorelai: We could get them drunk and just announce it to them!

Rory: Wonderful, and they'll accept their formerly estranged granddaughter as an undead creature.

Lorelai: Hey, you only asked how we should tell them, you never asked about how they'd handle it.

Jess just straight-up asking if she would eat the bullies in the high-school. Rory vehemently replying that no, she doesn't eat people, she just drinks the blood, but if he must know,......yes she drank from Chuck Presby once because she was angry and hungry and his blood almost tasted like Gatorade, so she's refrained from trying out the other bullies' blood. No, Chuck doesn't know what happened, he just thinks some girl went a bit too far with her hickey.

Jess and Rory talking to each other late at night and organizing a "studying" session where they just end up watching various B-movies, and sometimes Jess ends up falling asleep on the other side of the couch while Rory looks on at him and look, she's not being creepy here, she's just sitting on her side admiring this insane boy who still hasn't woken up one morning and decided that being friends with a vampire girl isn't in fact one of the smartest choices he could make in his life, and she can't help but like him because of that, ok? Also she really needs to hear more of his thoughts on some of the other American classics, it's imperative.

Rory ending up protecting Jess from an ongoing car that almost hits him instead of the whole "other vampire craves his blood" storyline but Jess ends up spraining his arm when he fell to the ground and Rory just feels guilty that she couldn't have saved him in a better way and tries to avoid him after that. Unfortunately she can't because this dumbass is walking along her trail in the nearby woods with his arm in a sling and goddamn it Jess, you're scaring away the deer!!

Yes. A thousand times yes. To all of this. The comedy. The pining. The Google search idea and elder Gilmore announcement. Yes to it all. But may I raise you some alternatives/more ideas:

In the books the sparkling looks more like the vampires are on fire. So when Rory reveals some skin in the sunlight, Jess is like «Shit, stop doing that do you have a death wish?!» and Rory just gives him a shit eating grin and waves her arm in and out of the sunlight. Also what if she doesn’t strip but takes of her sweater to reveal a t-shirt and Jess has a momentary heart attack thinking a vampire was about to flash him? All this being said the Claire’s silvery glitter scene is too good to replace ;-;

There just has to be a point while they’re close friends that Rory tries to impress/scare Jess by pulling him over her shoulders and carrying him while she speed runs. But when she tries to say something badass or seductive she has a brain fart and the only thing that comes out is: «Hold on tight... spidermonkey.» Jess doesn’t get to react before she runs, and when she’s finished the first thing he does is puke (apparently it’s hard to get used to that running according to SMeyer). Rory: «Oh no I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have done it, it was stupid and now you’re hurt and-»

Jess: «Spidermonkey???»

Rory: «oh, you’re fine.»

Jess: «SPIDERMONKEY????»

Rory: «I’ll just leave you here for the bears,» and walks away.

I’m not sure what her vampire origin story should be. It could be all the Gilmores are vampires and they bite each other at a certain age after procreating (and the eldest Lorelai decided to be an asshole and bite Rory early) or it could just be Rory like you said. In that case maybe Christopher became one and bit Rory because he wants her and Lorelai and him to be one big happy family of the night? But Lorelai refused and Rory protected her? Or maybe it was a stranger who passed by Stars Hollow?

Jess questions Rory’s humanity not after being saved by a car crash (pre friendship that is, I still think your idea should come in afterwards) but because he consistently skips school and on a sunny day («How can I lock myself in a stuffy dusty dark room on a day like this, uncle Luke?») he comes upon Rory hunting and eating a dear. That and/or she saves him from the swan. And because it’s Rory and she’s a clumsy new-born she saves him by speeding over and suckerpunching the swan so hard it does an action movie sweep miles into the forest.

Rory’s cover for sunny days in Stars Hollow is that she’s staying at Chilton longer for an assignment, or in the case of her still going to ST High it’s visiting their library for resources. Because she hates missing school, that cover is usually true, and she just refuses to go into any spot with sunlight:

Rory: «I have this skin condition, I have sun allergy»

Madeleine or Louise: «That’s not a thing is it»

Paris: «It is [starts infodumping]»

She usually locks herself in the darkest corner of the library and speeding away in a flash at closing time before anyone can spot her.

Rory has lost count of the amount of times Jess has dared her to drink from him. She refuses because she’s scared if hurting a friend:«What if I taste your blood and it’s so good I can’t stop? Like it tastes like heroin or ecstasy or coffee?» Jess usually counters with either «If you could resist Chuck Presby you can resist me» or «What makes you think I’d taste so good, huh?» Rory always ends up thinking she would have a blush right now if she was still human.

Jess wants to be a vampire too because hey what else does he have a chance at doing in life? But Rory refuses because she sees the potential in him and what he can be, and doesn’t want to take his chance at a good and normal life away from him. But at some point they get into a dangerous situation where Jess’ only options are death or vampyrism and Rory finally gives in. Also this is our AU and we get to decide which Twilight vampire-rules apply and in this AU vampires age mentally (it’s a bullshit excuse SMeyer and you know it).

This one depends on the origin but hey it’s an idea: While Rory was still a new new-born, her and Lorelai locked themselves up in the crap shack for a full week watching all the vampire movies they could in search of information that could help them. Rory decided to do empirical experiments too, and had garlic food, got a cross close to her, wore silver and stabbed her arm a wooden stake. The garlic food (like all food now sadly) tasted crap but didn’t kill her, nor did any of the rest. The wooden stake hurt but it healed fast.

Rory gets both Lorelai and Jess to order insane amounts of food just to watch them eat it because she misses the taste and needs to live vicariously through their tastebuds. In the AU where both Gilmore girls are vampires, they order so much food because they have no idea what the normal amount is (chaotic vampire Gilmores for the win).

Also I did not realize how well Bella and Edward’s powers fit Rory and Jess? Like of course Rory would be a mind reader and of course Jess’ thing would be an all-encompassing shield. Sometime when he’s still human and «bugging» Rory she poses the theory that maybe his head is just empty and doesn’t have any interesting ideas. Jess pretends to be hurt (okay he’s a little hurt but he’d never tell her that) and Rory immediately falls into apologetic mode.

Rory wants to go to prom because it’s a human teenage activity she refuses to miss before starts figuring out what to make out of her vampire life. Jess isn’t hyped for it but promises to get tickets. They end up both going as vampires because that altercation happens a week or so before. Jess struggles with not eating everyone in sight but he sticks close to Rory and they leave without a single drop of blood on their hands.

Also Luke as Charlie! Paying attention to the beat attacks and being the only one who noticed that Rory doesn’t actually eat the food on her plate anymore (her mom eats her own plate then switches it with Rory’s) and when Rory and Jess reveal the secret he momentarily closes down and has to take a fishing trip to process everything. But he comes back a ride or die wanting to protect the poor kids.

I also feel like there should be multiple moments where one is insanely attracted to the other and questions this attraction strongly. Like Rory crushing on Jess and wondering if it’s bloodthirst or just the last remains of her human teenage hormones. And Jess being full on into Rory while still acknowledging the fact that it could be some vampire seduction powers, but what the hell does he care? There’s a cute undead bookworm right there and if he has to go he doesn’t mind dying to be a pretty girl’s lunch meal.

[galaxythreads]

Suggestions on how to improve fanfic writing:

I was talking with @angelfishofthelord recently (not that recent, time is a concept that escapes our collective grasp) and I jokingly suggested that I make this post. I am in the middle of an insomnia night, so. Here be us.

Characters use the same nicknames and phrases inside their head as speaking. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re sharing the humor they’re speaking. I.g.: For SPN, I see a lot of people write Dean as a little careless in his POVs, because that’s just how he portrays himself, but Dean, I think, while having a dark sense of humor, isn’t actually very funny in his head. Same goes for MCU and Tony Stark. Funny characters does not always equal happy head space. :)

Nicknames--this used to bother me to no end, because nicknames were never something in my family, and people shortening down the names felt wrong. But you nickname what you love. If someone has given a nickname (and not in mockery) to a character, chances are, they call them that in their head. Like in MCU Clint calling Natasha "Nat", or SPN Dean and Sam calling Cas "Cas" however, with that said, unless the nickname is self chosen, most people will use their full name when narrating. Castiel, Natasha, etc.

Headcanons! This is going to sound a little backwards, but headcanons have always helped me sort between characters. I know that some fic authors are very against headcanons, but to me, you HAVE to make these characters and their world your own, at least a little. You need to understand how their brain functions, and headcanons are a wonderful, wonderful way to do that. So long as you can conceivably fit them into canon, I think you’re good. One of the ones I have about SPN Cas is that he doesn’t actually give off body heat, so he’s constantly room temperature. It’s a detail for people that’s not Cas’s POV to notice. So getting some headcanons like that will help differentiate between POVs because it’s different things for characters to acknowledge.

Mimic writing that you admire. (And ask yourself WHY you like it) I really, really love the way that TFW/avengers team is portrayed in some stories, in others, I’m like “meh.” Write to please yourself, first and foremost, on how to read these characters thoughts. Those who agree with you will flock to be your audience, and they’re who matter.

Language/word choice is really important for POV change. Again, people talk like how they think.

POV change? Treat the character whose POV it is like they are THE most important person in existence. Their reactions get a front seat. Their five senses are your concern. What they notice about a character may not be true, but it's what they notice. They are human, not omniscient, ergo, they'll get things wrong. Even if the story is written with a completely different character in mind, this character is still the most important. POV's time to think, talk, panic, angst, express, etc. That chapter was about how they felt. That’s why sometimes, even if I really do want them to talk or something, a character might think “please don’t say xyz” because THEY don’t want that, and how I feel as an author isn’t relevant here. Remembering that they’re human, and need time to process/react to things is huge.

Practice, practice, practice. It does get easier with time, and effort. I promise. All of you would laugh at my first few weeks of diving into fandoms. That stuff is garbage.

Conscious stream of thought is generally the best way to engage readers, and the most enjoyable. This is how we immerse ourselves into the story. We become a part of it because we follow their thinking. It is always ideal to start where you are the most comfortable, whether that's 3rd omniscient, 2nd person, etc, but, in my opinion, you don't get that true "click" with the characters until you've conscious stream of thought them.

Research. Lots of research. Don't know how long battieres could last in 2002? Look it up. Don't know how to do stitches? Google it. Try to avoid making things up.

Look guys. Everyone understands that you are most likely NOT a doctor or have any semblance of a medical degree. This is fiction. Research what you can, and move forward carefully or vague it out with the rest. The worst that can happen is someone correcting information you got wrong.

Please, please, please stay within the range of human limitation. (Or whatever creature/being you are writing for) You can't lose more than five pints of blood. You CAN die from pain. Infection spreads quickly. I'm sorry. I just. Have read so many fics from newbie writers who push their characters past extremes that is almost impossible. You want to hurt them that bad, break a bone or something. Just. Please try to be realistic. (Don't misunderstand here, I love me some well-done whump.)

Again with the "you are not a professional thing." Those diagnosed with mental illnesses know that you may not be writing from true experience. This is okay. But please, please do not avoid using any words or phrases common with the illness as you try to "vaguely" write it. The more authentic you are, the less likely you will offend someone. Look. I would be so frustrated if someone tried to write about an ED and just... Avoided words like "starve" "binge" and "hungry" because they didn't want to trigger me. Like. Sweeties, I appreciate the thought, I do, but it's more frustrating that you can't even SAY it than actually putting it into your writing. So. Please just. If you're going to write about a mental illness, do so with the intent to WRITE it, not skirt around the bush.

With that, if you are not diagnosed with the mental illness your writing for (or suspect that you have some form of it) that's okay! Google symptoms to get a basic idea, and search for first hand accounts. People's experience is a lot different than the definition. For example, some of the most hilarious people I know are severally depressed, and Google will just tell you they are sad.

Write write and write. You are building a skill. You have to practice that skill frequently.

Do not be afraid to ask for feedback. Betas are wonderful. Asking for advice is wonderful. Being too shy and afraid of criticism for asking for help is perfectly okay. (Hello fellow traveler)

If your search history doesn't have you being watched by government organizations in the next few months, you aren't researching enough. ;)

Take your time. Quality over quantity. Do NOT conform to the update fairy that demands updates frequently. Look. I love my readers. I do. But you HAVE to take your time to finish things in order for them to be worth reading. If this is six hours or six years, that's that.

Do not give everything away. Stop answering questions. We keep reading because we have unanswered questions. Anticipation = good. Knowing everything at once: bad.

Do not put in funny for the sake of funny.

Insults should be insulting, not make people want to cringe and duck their heads.

Dialog should serve as people communicating... Like actual people.

Siblings (unless otherwise said so by canon) DO NOT address each other as "bro" and "sis"

Not a native English speaker? Cool. Natives would love to help you learn their language. :) English grammar sucks.

Analogies should make sense. They should flow smoothly into the writing. If they pop out, you've lost the attention of your writers.

please, please don't glorify rape, racism, homophobia, mental illness shaming/glorification, abuse, sexism, and other crappy things. Thanks. People came for a story, not to get their souls crushed.

[batterycityghoul]

Hello there! I don't know if you are accepting requests, so I'm just shooting my shot. I was thinking about a short one shot with Diego based on the song Wait a minute by Willow Smith. Actually the part where she says "You left your diary at my house And I read those pages, you really love me". I know you're busy with These Hands Stained Red, so it's okay if you can't write it. Have a nice day! 🤗💖

Title: You Were Bound to See

Pairing: Diego Hargreeves/Reader

Word Count:  2.9k (whoops?)

Author’s Note: I was already in a Birds of Prey mood, and your additional requests for 'number 8/singer in a bar/power has to do with her voice' gave me maaajor Black Canary/Dinah Lance feels. So, I used some of that character's story for inspiration. I hope that's okay! (I also had never heard the song before, so I hope I did alright with your song prompt! Thank you so much for sending this in! 💖) 

You sat on your bed, waiting for him to show up. On nights like these, it wasn't uncommon for him to sneak into your apartment, seeking a night together.  

When you heard the window beside your bed slide up, you felt a smirk tug at your lips. You glanced over your shoulder, catching sight of him standing there in his domino mask and usual vigilante gear.  

"What was it this time?"  

"A robbery," he answered. "What? You couldn't see that with your little musical gift?"

You quirked an eyebrow at him, not amused by his snark. "It doesn't work like that and you know it," you snapped, shooting him a glare. "And why don't you take that stupid thing off your face? You look like an idiot."

Diego rolled his eyes, reaching up to pull his mask off. "You used to wear one too. Or did you forget we used to be on the same team?"

How could you ever forget? Your mother had only been a lonely, scared teenager when she suddenly became pregnant and gave birth to you all in one day. You didn't remember much about her, but you did remember that she used to call you her little miracle. She didn't have much money or anyone to rely on, but she loved you. And you? You loved her.  

You were just a kid when she got sick and passed, there and gone in what felt like a blink of an eye. In the weeks before she left you, you spent many nights at her bedside, singing her song after song, your head filled with visions that never yielded what you hoped to find.  

After she passed, you ended up bounced around the system for a few years until you ran away. You learned at a young age that you truly couldn't rely on anyone but yourself, so you resigned yourself to being alone.  

You had to become resourceful to survive on the streets. It wasn't the most glamorous lifestyle, but you figured it was better than trusting someone who would only ultimately let you down.  

Your life took a sudden turn when you were only thirteen. You had gone a few days without food, so you had to resort to looking through a dumpster in search of a meal. You thought you had found the jackpot outside of a mansion, since you knew rich people were always throwing away perfectly good food.  

You had just jumped inside when you startled at the sound of someone banging a fist on the side of it.  

"Hey! You find anything good in there?"

You peeked over the side of the dumpster to see a boy about your age leaning against the side of it. He glanced up at you, throwing you a wink, before he brought a cigarette to his lips and took a drag.  

"Smoking kills, you know?"  

The boy shrugged his shoulders. "Death doesn't concern me that much," he offered with a grin, lightly laughing at the words as if it was a joke only he would understand. "What are you doing in there?"

"Looking for food," you answered, figuring there was no harm in being honest.  

The boy squinted up at you before he nodded his head. "Alright," he said. "Come with me."

You shook your head. "I don't even know you."

"Oh! Right," he said, hastily dropping his cigarette to the ground before stepping on it. "I'm Klaus. And you are?"

You considered the boy for a few moments before you sighed. "I'm Y/N," you finally offered.  

You were surprised when Klaus took you inside the mansion. He was quick to introduce you to a woman named Grace who immediately started to fuss over you. She made you food which you promptly ate while listening to Klaus ramble away about his life and family.  

"Well, this was great," you started once you finished the pancakes and eggs Grace had made for you. "But I should really be going."

"I believe we would both agree on that," you heard a man say from the doorway of the kitchen. "What were you thinking, Number Four? Inviting this strange child into our home?"

Klaus snorted before he shot you a commiserating look, as if you could possibly understand what was really going on. "I was thinking, Reggie, that she was hungry and needed something to eat."

"This is not your house, Number Four. You did not have my permission to invite a stranger inside."

It was then that you noticed the other kids crowding around the older man. It took you a few moments, but you realized that you recognized some of them. You frowned at the one wearing a domino mask, a scowl on his face as he watched you.  

"We don't have time for this," the older man snapped. "It is time to debut the team. There is a robbery in progress and you and the other children are going to stop it."

"At a bank?" You asked, tilting your head to the side as you watched the older man. "There's going to be men hiding in the bank vault. Make sure you get them too."

The man turned to give you his full focus, staring you down for long enough that you started to feel truly uncomfortable. "Tell me," he started. "When were you born?"

"What? What the hell does that matter?"

"Your date of birth," the man demanded. "Now."

"October first," you answered.

"Year?"

You shot a quick glance at Klaus, seeing that his eyes were wide with wonder as he waited for your answer.

"1989?" You hesitantly offered, not sure why it came out as a question.  

"Where did you find her, Number Four?"

"Uh," Klaus started, staring at you uncertainly.

"I was outside in the dumpster looking for food," you answered for him.  

"I see," the man mused. "It seems I may have some use for you after all. Stay here," he commanded. "I want to speak with you when we get back."

You watched as the man herded all of the kids out of the kitchen, leaving Grace with instructions to make sure you stayed put.  

Of course, you had no intention of staying. You didn't trust the man or the way he seemed to think you were suddenly valuable to him. You didn't want to see what he had in store for you.  

So, the moment Grace turned her back, you made a run for it.  

It didn't take you long to learn that Reginald Hargreeves really did have no intention of letting you go. He managed to track you down within a day and offered you another meal if you only listened to what he had to say.  

You agreed, even if you were hesitant to believe that he was offering you salvation.  

He spun you a crazy tale of superhero kids and a bid to save the world. It took some coaxing, but you finally admitted that you caught glimpses of the future. All you had to do was sing a song and visions played in your head of what was to come. You couldn't control it and it only seemed to stretch as far as a few days ahead, but you always tried your best to understand them when they came.  

"Precognitive music," Reginald confirmed with a nod of his head. "Well, I'm not sure how useful you can be to the team, but I'm sure we can find a place for you. Welcome to the team, Number Eight."

Despite having an official welcome to the team and family, you still tried to run away. A lot. But Reginald always brought you back.  

You didn't really mesh well with the team. You didn't bother to get to know Luther or Allison. The one they called Number Five disappeared not long after you joined the team and Ben was so quiet and reserved that he usually kept to himself. The only ones you really forged any kind of connection with were Diego, Klaus, and Vanya.  

Klaus didn't really give you a choice about whether you wanted to be friends or not. He seemed to just barge right into your life and stay there, pulling you into his antics from time to time.  

You bonded with Vanya over music. Once you heard her play her violin, you instantly fell for her talent. You spent hours listening to her play, eventually having the confidence to sing to her and sharing your visions with her.  

And Diego? Diego only seemed to show an interest in you because he didn't trust you. You were pretty sure he thought you were going to somehow kill everyone in their sleep one night. Which, to you, didn't make sense, because he was the one with the lethal power.  

Diego's constant watch over you meant that you ended up spending a lot of time together, whether you truly wanted to or not. You discovered an anger in Diego that you connected with. He was angry with his upbringing and constant dismissal from his father that left him feeling like he wasn't good enough and you were angry at the shitty hand life had dealt you and the constant voice in your head telling you that you didn't belong. Over time, you learned how to talk each other down when you truly felt like you were going to lose it. Sometimes when you tried to run away, Diego would be the first to talk you out of it.  

As you grew older, you started to rely on each other. You were the first one to have his back on a mission and he made sure you knew how to spar just as well as him so you could better defend yourself. You started spending most of your time together, forging a connection you never would have seen coming, despite your precognitive ability.  

When you turned seventeen, you and Diego left the Academy together. You both took up odd jobs, sharing a shitty apartment just so you wouldn't have to spend one more moment under the roof of Reginald Hargreeves.  

That first year you spent together, just the two of you, was one of the best years of your life. Diego took up playing guitar and you would sit on the bed you shared, singing to him. He was always so interested in your visions, but that wasn't why you chose to share your talent with Diego. Singing had always been something you loved, and in a way, it was something you did for the people you loved. Your mom. Vanya. And then Diego.  

Of course, you knew you were too young for those kinds of feelings and young love rarely lasted.  

Your problems started when Diego wanted to start up a vigilante lifestyle. He ended up washing out of the police academy, stating that it wasn't for him. Instead, he took to wanting to patrol the streets at night, listening to a stolen police scanner, and throwing himself into danger. You tagged along at first, but you quickly realized that you didn't want to be a superhero. It became a point of contention between the two of you.

"Diego, we can't keep doing this," you insisted one night. You were bleeding from a cut to your forehead you had gotten after a close call with a group of men who were intent on robbing a convenience store.  

"Doing what?" He asked, carefully dabbing at the cut with a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol.  

"This," you insisted. "Saving people. Being good little superheroes. I thought that's why we left the Academy."

"That's why you left the Academy," he pointed out.  

"I'm not cut out for the superhero life," you said, trying to make him see that you were suffering for it.  

"You were born for the superhero life," he countered. "Otherwise, what's the use of having a power if you don't use it to save people?"

You shook your head, glancing away from him. "I didn't ask for this," you whispered. "Aren't we meant for something more?" You couldn't help but wonder, feeling like your heart was tearing in two at the silence that followed.  

You left not long after that. You ended up singing in a dive bar for a boss with shady connections and as far as you knew, Diego took up a job at a boxing ring during the day while he moonlighted as a vigilante at night.  

Even though you both didn't seem to agree with the other, you couldn't stay away. The rest of the team had been irreparably broken for a long time, but you couldn't seem to quit Diego. He didn't like that you were seemingly wasting your nights singing in a bar, keeping your visions to yourself, and refusing to use them for the greater good. You didn't like that he was risking his life for people who didn't give a fuck about him and wouldn't care if he died in the process of saving them.  

You spent years going back and forth. Some nights, after you were done at the bar, you would make your way to The Fighting Lion, waiting on Diego's bed until he bothered to show up. Other nights, he would come see you after saving some hapless victim, crawling through your window like you were teenagers in some kind of sweet rom-com.  

It didn't matter how much it hurt that you would never truly agree, because you knew that you loved him. You loved him so much some days you could hardly think past the need to have him right there at your side.  

Now, you barely resisted the urge to roll your eyes before you turned your back on him.  

"I can guess why you're here," you started, shooting him another quick glance over your shoulder. "Catch the bad guys?"

"And saved some lives, baby," he told you with a smirk.

"Don't call me that," you said.  

"What should I call you then?" The smirk never left his face as he started pulling off his holsters, dropping his knives on their unofficial designated place on your dresser. "Remember what I used to call you when we were younger?"

"Don't," you warned, knowing what he was about to say.

"My little songbird," he crooned with an almost mocking note to his voice. "You used to sing just for me," he reminded you.  

You watched him continue to strip until his shirt was off and his pants were unzipped.  

"You're awfully confident about where this is heading," you pointed out to him. "What if I said I just wasn’t feeling it tonight? What if I showed you the door?"

"You know, I caught your show tonight," he informed you, seemingly completely ignoring your previous words.  

That was news to you. As far as you were aware, Diego had never bothered to actually come to the bar and see you sing. He thought you could do better and you didn’t quite disagree with him.

"I listened to you and watched you," he said, slowly approaching you until he was standing just beside your bed. "And I realized something."

"Oh, yeah?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at him as he put a hand to your shoulder, coaxing you to lie down. "What was that?"

He moved to hover over you on the bed, propped up on his arms on either side of your head with his eyes trained on yours. "You don't really love it," he finally responded. "You just go and sing because you enjoy it, but it's nothing like those private shows you used to put on for me. I never realized before how close we were then. How intimate," he said as he leaned down, placing a kiss to your jaw. "I remember the look on your face every time you sang just for me." Another kiss was placed in the hollow of your throat. "You used to look at me like I was everything to you. You gave yourself away."

You felt your breath hitch as he placed a biting kiss just under your jaw, his teeth lightly scraping over your skin.  

"I did?" Your voice was breathless as you attempted to glance down at him.  

"You did," he confirmed with another smirk, finally rising up so you could see him.  

"And what did I give away?" You couldn't help but ask, torn between knowing and pulling him down into a kiss.

"You love me," he said. "I didn't notice at first, but tonight made me see it. It made me see you. You love me, Y/N. You really love me."

It was hopeless to deny it. You had known since you were only seventeen. You had resigned yourself to loving Diego for the rest of your life, because you simply couldn't help it. It didn't matter if you would always clash and were wrong for each other in so many ways. Your heart never seemed to listen to what your brain had to say. You loved Diego.  

"And what if I do? Does that change anything?" Your hands clenched into fists at your sides, your instincts warring between pulling him closer or pushing him away in the event he just ended up hurting you again.  

"Of course it doesn't," he answered with a shake of his head. He offered you a soft, sincere smile before he leaned down again, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke his next words. "Because I love you too."

[acdeaky]

are you ready for love?

warning: fluff, alcohol consumption, strong language, slight angst?

note: congrats on 4k followers @writingfortoomanyfandoms​​ ! i began writing this and then fell out of love with it, but i (finally) figured out the ending and fell back in love! enjoy!

word count: 4.5k

black lives matter

“what I'm saying is - and this is not a come on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way!” dan spoke, a little too loudly for the restaurant the group was in, trying to voice his (very out-of-date) opinion above the rest of the group. he was met with a lot of voices arguing he was wrong, and a fry from shane’s plate. “what?” he practically whined. 

“just because you want to shag any girl you're friends with, and who doesn't have a boyfriend, doesn't mean that every guy is the same!” harry perked up, practically punching dan in the arm after his comment. 

“it so means every guy is the same,” dan argued, looking over at you. “you and ben are only close because he wants to get in your pants.”

“why did we let him join?” you asked everyone else, basically pretending that dan wasn't sat a few seats away from you. 

“because he's my brother and has no other friends.” erin replied from next to you, a hand resting on your thigh which was pressed against her’s.

“that is not true.”

“oh, dan, sweetie, it is.” erin just smiled sarcastically at her brother, her eyes showing faux sympathy. 

“you all know i’m right, but you don't want to say it,” another chorus of disagreement came from the group, as did another fry from shane’s plate. “mate, would you stop that?” shane just shook his head, wrapping his arm around the back of renee’s chair and lightly brushed his fingers against your shoulder. next to ben, you were definitely closest to shane with him being like a big brother to you. 

somehow, the rest of the meal went without a hitch. dan quieted down with the unpopular opinions and everyone else enjoyed each other’s company as they finished their meals and had a few drinks afterwards. shane and renee were the first ones to leave. both of them had had long days at work, but made it out for the meal, and were now more than ready to collapse into their bed. harry and erin were next. as they paid their part and begun to leave, they dragged dan out with them, keeping him from saying something inappropriate to you and/or lucy. 

after those three left, you and lucy stayed a little longer. it had been a while since the two of you had hung out together alone, and a catchup with definitely needed. 

“so what’s the real reason ben didn’t come tonight? he's definitely not ill else you would be there nursing him back to health.” she teased, giving you a light prod to your side. 

“he didn't want to have to deal with comments from dan,” you stated plainly. “and i’m glad ben didn’t come else he would have had to deal with exactly what he didn't want to deal with.”

“yeh, that's fair. maybe we should stop inviting dan to these things.”

“maybe,” you both giggled, thinking of how much more civilised somethings would be without him. “that's too mean, though. erin would not be happy.” 

“she most definitely wouldn't be, but dan’s a dickhead.”

“oh, yeh.” the two of you sat gigging for a little longer, the few drinks the both of you had had making their way completely into your system. after chatting for a little longer (and realising you should both definitely go home), you paid the rest of the bill and left, still chatting as you got into your car, travelling back to your same apartment building.

the ride home wasn't long. luckily, the group had mutually decided on a restaurant that was close to both of your apartments, meaning it only took about ten minutes to get home. the traffic was light and it seemed that every light turned green just in time for you. sooner than you knew, you were heading out of the garage of the apartment building, heading towards the lift and pressing the ninth floor button for lucy and the tenth floor button for you. as you reached her floor, you shared a slightly emotional goodbye with each other. it took exactly 23 seconds to get from the lift to your apartment (you had counted many times) and as you swung the door open, there was ben, sat idly on your sofa with his feet up and netflix playing on the TV. 

“hello, wanderer.” he teased as he heard you pull off your shoes and collapse onto the sofa next to him. “did you have fun? was dan a dick?”

“when is dan not a dick?” you only replied, pulling your knees closer to your chest as you turned your body into ben’s. one of his hands lifted off of his thigh for you to do so, landing back down on your knee. 

“that's true. what did he say this time?”

“that men and women can't be friends because the sex part gets in the way.”

“well that's not true, look at us!” ben said, his eyes quickly flitting to you and then straight back to the TV. 

“yeh, look at us.” 

“you are woman, i am man. we no sex.” he spoke in a deeper voice, making you giggle at his ridiculous impression of a caveman. 

“i’m just glad you weren't there; another comment from him would have sent your fist through his face.” 

“oh, yeh. but erin would not have been happy.”

“she most definitely wouldn't be.” you giggled again, thinking back to the conversation you had had with lucy. “i’m actually so tired, i think i’m just calling it a night. you stay as long as you like” as you got up, you pointed to ben, giving him a look which said ‘keep it down’ which he replied with a salute. you gave the other a quiet ‘night’ before placing a kiss on his cheek and dragging your feet to your bedroom. 

as you got ready for bed, you couldnt help but think back to what dan had said. if you told erin and lucy (or even ben) that you were contemplating his words, they would have told you to stop and say that ‘dan was just being dan. he didn't mean it’. you just couldn’t help thinking about whether it was true. of course, you were close to shane and harry, but they both had girlfriends, they definitely wouldn't want anything to do with what’s in your pants. but you were also close to ben, and he didn't have a girlfriend. the only explanation for you two being close was that he wanted what was in your pants, not in your head nor your heart. 

it pained you to think of that; ben being here only to try it on. of course, ben was attractive and had sex appeal, but he was also your best friend and you weren't about to jump in to bed with him at the first chance. you have never, and will never, go about relationships like that. to you, it was unbelievable how much you let dan’s comment cloud your mind, yet you almost hoped there was some truth to it. 

only a wall away, ben was sat thinking the exact same thing. the show he was binging was still playing in the background, but in the forefront of his mind was dan’s comment. ben knew men and women could be friends without sex getting involved; he had those relationships with all the girls in the group, except her. although he wouldn't openly admit it to anyone, he had developed feelings, but didn't want to ruin what the two had by trying it on with her. so ben sat back and tried to let his feelings settle. that instantly failed when he continued to hang out with her almost everyday and talk to her everyday. it didn't take him long to realise he was in love. 

ben didn't stay for much longer; his eyes were being to strain to properly see the TV and dan's comment was still lingering in his thoughts. he quietly turned off the TV and left the room, practically tiptoeing past your room as he entered the guest room (which was almost his considering how often he slept in it). all he did was slip out of his jeans, jumper and socks, leaving on his boxers and slid into bed. just like you, it didn't take him long to fall asleep, soon drifting off nestled within the comfy sheets and only imagining what it would be like to hold you in his arms. 

in the morning, ben woke up before you (like usual) and set himself the task of making breakfast. he knew you'd be hungry this morning and, as soon as he got out of bed and put on a pair of shorts, he made his way into the kitchen and began making his famous pancakes. it didn't take long for you to wake up nor did it take long for you to smell the pancakes. 

“morning, chef.” you smiled lazily as you walked into the kitchen. 

“morning to you, too.” like usual in a morning, ben was clad in some shorts and a plain t-shirt as he stood in front of the hob. the teapot had already been filled and there was a half empty cup stood on the side next to the hob. “sleep well?”

“yeh, i guess.” ‘don't tell him’ you thought to yourself. “i just couldn't stop thinking about dan's comment last night.” 

“love, i've told you before to take no notice of him-”

“no, ben, he said something else last night. not just the men and women and sex thing.”

“well, what else did he say?” he asked, less annoyed this time, switching off the ring and giving you his full attention.

“he said that you and i are only close because you want to get into my pants.” although he asked you to tell him (and you would have told him anyway), you couldn’t help but feel ashamed at telling ben. you knew he would be mad that you let something dan said cloud your judgement about him, but you also knew that he would deny it. you wished he wouldn’t.

“you know that’s not true, right?” there it was. “you know i would never do that to you, or anyone for that matter. don’t let him get into your head; he’s a dick.”

“yeh, course.” you mumbled as ben turned back to the pan, flipping out the pancake onto a plate. as both of you ate, you sat talking about anything and everything. you were content just being here with ben, and yet you still couldn’t get those thoughts out of your head.

to ben, all you would be is his best friend; he made that perfectly clear last night and this morning. to you, your feelings would always be there, making it unfair on anyone else you dated. your heart was wrapped around ben indefinitely.

after breakfast was finished and the kitchen was tidy, you said your goodbyes to ben (even though you don’t normally kick him out this early), making up a lie about finishing off some things for work. what you really wanted to do was talk to erin and lucy; you needed to empty your head to someone.

“hey, you guys are okay to chat, right?” you asked as soon as the facetime connected to the both of them.

“yeh, of course!” “i’ve got my wine, i’m ready.” they both replied, supportive smiles already on their faces.

“okay, i’m sorry i’m bringing this up again, but i’m still thinking about dan’s comment last night.”

“which one?” erin giggled, taking a sip of her wine.

“the one about ben only being close to me because he wants to get in my pants.”

“that’s not true.”

“it’s true.”

“what?” you and erin asked lucy, who sat with a slight smirk on her face.

“ben does want to get into your pants, but not as a one time fling or being friends with benefits, he really likes you.”

“he does?”

“yeh,” both you and erin looked at each other, pure shock coming over your face and slight shock on erin’s. “he got drunk with the lads one night and came to my place instead of yours-”

“makes sense,” erin perked up, taking another sip of her wine. “your apartment is literally a floor below Y/N’s.”

“exactly; he miscounted the floor numbers and came to my door. he kept on apologising so i let him in and he just ranted about dan saying stupid things again about the two of you. then he spilt his feelings and almost broke down asking me not to say anything. i told him he should go to your place and tell you himself. he said he would and i assumed he did, but obviously-”

“he didn’t. that night he came up to my apartment and basically passed out on the sofa. i pulled his shoes off and left him a glass of water and some painkillers for the morning. that was it; he didn't really say anything at all until the next morning.” you frowned, thinking at how literally minutes before ben stumbled into your apartment, he'd stumbled out of lucy’s. 

“wow, well i knew benny boy had feelings, but i didn’t know he did that.” erin said, turning and making sure harry hadn't heard any of that conversation. 

“no one knew, i kept ben’s drunk escapade a secret. he couldn’t even remember it happening.” after that, all three of you were slightly stunned into silence. it was a minute before anyone spoke. 

“what are you gonna do?” erin’s voice was small, something that isn't normal for her. her wine glass had been discarded (though half empty) and she and lucy were both looking at you. you knew your face hadn't change. even without looking at your screen, you knew the only look on your face was disbelief. 

“i-i don't know.”

“surely you're gonna do something?” lucy gasped. 

“and say what to him? ‘hey, ben. i've just been chatting to our good friend lucy and it turns out you drunkenly told her about your feelings for me’. i’m not good with confrontation!”

“and that's why you two will never be together!” erin chuckled, shaking her head at you. 

“what do you mean?

“i mean, you're scared of confrontation and ben will never admit his feelings for you because he's scared you’ll reject him.”

“but i wouldn’t-”

“he doesn’t know that.” she was right. ben doesn’t know what you're thinking, and you don't know what he's thinking. right now, the only way to get over the situation is if you say something. yet, you couldn't help but think that ben’s drunken confession was just that: drunken and stupid.

“i need some time to think, girls.”

“okay.” 

“just keep us in the loop, yeh?” lucy asked, pity absolutely drowning her face. 

“will do, bye.” you waved as did lucy and erin, saying their own goodbyes before you ended the call. 

this had changed everything. of course it had. you definitely didn't feel the same way you did before the call, and you definitely didn't feel the same way about ben as you did before the call. you couldn’t help but think if this had changed things, if this had given you the confidence to finally tell ben about how you feel. 

it was something to sleep on, something to cloud your thoughts for another night. 

but you didn’t get the chance to do that. before you had even managed to settle down for the night, there was a loud, and brash, knock at your door. the thought of ignoring them crossed your mind, hoping it would be a drunken fool who had stumbled across the wrong apartment.

yet, no matter how long you stayed laying on your back, staring at the blank canvas of your ceiling, the knocking did not cease. with a grumble, you made your way through your apartment and towards the front door, not bothering to switch on any of the lights on your way.

as soon as your door was open, whoever was on the other side flung themselves inside, stumbling as they attempted to pull off their shoes. you couldn’t even see who the person was, the low light of the hallway doing little to help you figure out who the intruder was.

and, just as you were about to speak up, the person spoke - though it was more of a grumble - and said, “luce, i’m sorry for doin’ this again.” ben. his voice was slurred and his actions were full of haste. the way he threw his shoes to the side and his jacket on to the floor made you realise he truly thought he was on the floor below; everywhere he was throwing things were where lucy had furniture.

then you realised something else; it was happening again. that night lucy had told you about, with ben drinking with the lads, had happened again. though, you weren’t sure if he was drinking alone or not, but whatever had happened to ben had made him feel the need to see lucy, before anything.

“i know it’s prob’ly late, but i can’t stop thinking about her and you’re the only person who knows how i feel.” came ben’s mumbling voice again. he sounded weak, vulnerable, something you’d never heard in any tone of his voice before. well, there were some exceptions, but this voice, this tone, was something else. and it scared you.

but you stayed quiet, waiting for ben to either say something again or... something else to happen, like a meteor hitting the earth, to save the both of you from this conversation.

“fuck, you moved things around in here?” he grumbled, walking around to find something to grip onto or sit on.

your head was screaming to say something, to reply and end whatever this was, yet your heart was screaming to save yourself the heartache (from what, you didn’t know).

it wasn’t until ben managed to find a lightswitch that your heart began to race even faster than before. you were met with his disheveled look, his boots haphazardly pulled off and scattered across your floor and his jacket thrown carelessly across the wood of your dining table mismatched his reddening eyes and mess of his hair.

and, as if time was frozen, ben stood against the wall of your apartment, his eyes as wide as ever and his heart thumping against the case of his chest. you were no better; at least you knew who had stumbled into your apartment, but ben was in shock. because it was you. of course it was you, who else could make ben’s heart beat as fast as you could?

which is why ben stood still, acting as if he stayed deadly still, the predator before him would ignore his very existence. but the elephant was in the room, and you could not ignore the existence of that.

“ben,” you whispered, your voice stretching out to fill the gap between your bodies. instead, it died upon it’s journey, failing to reach the only person who mattered to you at that minute. “ben, it’s okay: i know.”

that didn’t settle his nerves. the only things those two words did was set his heart racing faster and he felt like his world was collapsing in on himself.

“no,” he shook his head, finally pulling his eyes away from your glance, turning his back towards you as his hands made his hair even more of a mess. “no, it’s not okay.”

but it was. it was more than okay because somewhere between ben stumbling through your door and this moment right now, you had found the courage to tell him that you knew, that you felt the same, this it was okay.

taking advantage of his back facing you, you stepped over to him carefully. at first, you were unsure of your movements, letting your hands linger in the air just above ben’s back before you took the final step and pressed them against his t-shirt-covered skin. the muscles in his back tensed and tightened, but he quickly let the warmth and welcoming feeling of you relax him.

only then did you become more confident, letting your hands move lightly over his back, mapping every bump and dimple they found. you ventured down to ben’s hips, covering the skin of his sides before settling around his front on his stomach.

“it’s okay, ben.” you said once again, your voice falling into a quiet whisper next to the shell of his ear as your chin rested on his shoulder. both of hands met yours. they were warm and fit comfortably between yours, something you had always imagined.

“how do you know?” he tested the waters, only letting his voice be loud enough for you to hear, like this was your little secret. you weren’t sure if ben was asking how you knew how he felt or how things would be okay, but you chose the former.

“lucy told me,” you replied in an equal tone, moving your head from his shoulder to press against his back, just between his shoulder blades. “she told me about that night you went to her apartment after you had been out with the boys: she told me how you felt about me.”

“and?” he said soon after, not wanting to wait any longer for a response that could change his life.

“ben, you mean the world to me, and i was always afraid that if we began a relationship, it could ruin our friendship. but i’m not afraid of that anymore, and i just want what i want: you.”

ben had never felt so sober. he had begun the night alone and, somehow, ended it in your arms; one of the places he didn’t think he’d be for a while.

his thumb began tracing small circles on the back of your hand, letting himself know that this was real and this was happening. it also grounded you. it gave you something to focus on when you needed it. but you didn’t want it to be that; you wanted it to be something that happens regularly and often. now, that might happen.

reluctantly, you pulled your hands from his, taking your arms away from his body as you circled around him. once his face met yours, neither of you could hold in the tiny smile which threatened to appear at the corner of your lips. god, you could only imagine what his lips felt like, what they tasted like. and you imagined that they felt like silk.

your hands quickly found purchase on ben’s body once again. this time, you traced the outline of his face, allowing yourself to take your time as you moved along his jawline. as one hand did that, the other tangled it’s fingers into the hair on the nape of his neck - something that he was growing out for a role, but you enjoyed it regardless.

ben was so overwhelmed, the only place he could find to anchor himself to you were your hips. he squeezed and pressed the skin lightly, wanting to live in the moment as much as he could, just in case you slipped through his fingertips, like silk does.

you can’t help but notice that you’ve never seen him like this before, so vulnerable and open to you and your touch. of course, you had touched each other before, but not with the softness and meaning like now.

“i want you, too,” ben finally whispered, never letting his gaze falter from you. his hands seemed to grip your hips a little harder as your hands slid down from his head and onto his shoulders. “that’s all i’ve wanted since i met you.”

just then, you pushed yourself onto the balls of your feet, managing to slightly close the gap between you and ben as his head bowed lower, too. your lips met like a perfect melody, so soft and gentle and better than you could have ever imagined.

slowly, and once again, your hands traced their way up ben’s skin, circling around his neck before toying with those little hairs you had suddenly become so fond of. and, as a response, ben’s hands shifted from your hips to your lower back quicker than you could register, pushing and pulling your body flush with his own.

his hands were warm and big and better than you could have imagined. they were strong, keeping the two of you together in perfect harmony as you explored the other’s touch after so, so long.

but, then ben pulled away, keeping you pressed against his chest while looking down at you, your lips swollen and red and, god, so beautiful. he only smiled, pulling away to grab your hand a second later.

he was your personal guide through your home, taking you towards your bedroom (only after turning off the light he switched on earlier). as soon as you got in the room, ben let you go, turning to close the door as you stood waiting for him; you almost felt like a stranger, standing there in your own room with no feeling of anything but ben.

once the door clicked shut, he turned his attention back to you. while he walked forward, you stumbled backwards, only stopping when the back of your knees hit the side of your bed.

“get in,” he spoke gently, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “i’ll be there in a second.” and so you did. since you were already about to settle down for the night when ben knocked on the door, you just sat underneath the covers again.

seeing the cast of ben’s shadow on your walls from the beaming moon was a sight you knew you would never tire of. the way he moved gracefully as he pulled off his shirt and jeans, leaving on only his boxers and turning back to you.

he was a ghost striding towards you. a vision as his body drifted towards you, so bright and beautiful under the moon, so quiet as he slipped under the covers to lay next to you; his arms open and welcoming.

so you accepted, letting yourself have this, this moment, with ben. you found yourself tucked into his side, one arm dragged across his torso with your head on his chest. his left arm wrapped itself around your shoulders, his right arm laying adjacent to yours, letting your fingertips touch and ghost along one another.

you stayed there, for a minute or two, just getting used to each other’s rise and fall of your chests and the dips and bumps of each other’s skin. neither of you had felt more at peace than in that moment.

and as you lay there in ben’s arms, the steady beating in his heart right below your ear and finally feeling content, you knew that you were ready for love.

-

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