#the way you can hear him in pain when the master is inside his head

[hobgoblinns]

the inherent homoeroticism of having your mind telepathically invaded by your oldest friend and enemy whom you thought was long dead as he reluctantly pleads for your help, causing you to immediately rush to his aid even if it means revisiting your most traumatic memory

[tarrynightss]

what happens when sukuna’s precious little jewel actually does get pregnant ???

I’m so glad you asked Anon hehe

Concubine!reader x Sukuna thoughts part 1 here

Tags; Pregnancy, Concubine!fem!Reader, smut below cut, breeding kink, size difference, bit of lactation kink

Sukuna is not surprised when it happens after all the hard work you both put into realizing his dream. He notices a subtle change in your smell, in the energy that pulsates around you when he caresses his hand over your body. A wide grin splits on his face as he lays his hand over your lower stomach, his chest sturdy against your back. He can’t help but nuzzle his face against the side of your head, inhaling more of your intoxicating smell. “It took.”. Those simple words have your eyes widening and your heart pounding in your chest, looking back at him to ensure you understood correctly. “You’re with child.”

He’s overjoyed with the prospect of having a baby, an heir of his own. He’s more affectionate than he ever was, taking time to settle you close against him, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the growing bump on your stomach. He even caresses your hair and kisses you in an attempt to comfort you when you feel pain, all of it shockingly gentle for Sukuna. In his mind there’s a simple explanation. You did as he wanted, and you continue to do your duty well, ensuring his child is safe and growing strong inside you even when it hurts you, so you should be rewarded for it.

Sukuna has always been wary of others, but with the pregnancy he turns outright paranoid. With the amount of enemies he has he worries that one might now lash out and target you and your baby. He focuses more on maintaining barriers around the house, has someone sample your food in front of him before it’s allowed to be served to you, and you never sleep alone anymore, him always curled protectively against your side. He also decides to dismiss a large portion of his harem, not trusting them to have your best interest in mind. He knows how jealous humans can get, had seen women scratch each others eyes out just to get ahead of the other, and so the only other concubines allowed to stay are the ones you claim are your friends. He still keeps a careful eye on them, only truly allowing it because he knows that when the time comes, you will need women to aid you through it, and he doesn’t trust random midwives more than he trusts them.

Sukuna will spoil you more than ever, making sure you are comfortable in whatever way he can offer. The pregnancy is clearly taking a toll on you, your stomach having grown large and heavy, and he almost worries the size difference between you that excited him so might become the death of you. He carries you basically everywhere the last two months, wrapping you up in his strong arms and doing anything you need of him. It’s quite ironic; you used to be the one helping him get dressed, fawning over your master, and now he does the opposite for you. Though you know it’s out of necessity, it still makes your heart flutter.

That Sukuna is stressed out when you finally give birth is putting it lightly. He waits outside as customary, trying to appear stoic but panicking on the inside at your pained screams. As soon as he hears a baby cry, he barges in, watching as another concubine places the child against your bare chest. He quickly finds himself on his knees beside you, brushing one large hand over your sweaty forehead to comfort you as the other joins you in holding your baby. It’s a daughter, but she’s healthy and strong, screaming her lungs out for a minute more before calming down. You laugh, and he breathes in deeply, knowing you both made it. Relieve makes him bend forward and press a kiss to your forehead, leaning back just in time to see the child’s eyes open. Four in total, just like her father, but with the scarlet stare replaced by the lovely color of your eyes.

It surprises everyone, including you, how much of an involved father he is, holding his baby as often as he can, a large finger prodding at her pouty lips till she smiles and coos. When you apologize to him for not giving him a son, he stares at you blankly, gesturing for you to rise from where you kneel before him, putting one hand on your cheek as two others still cradle your baby. “I don’t need your apology. The child is healthy, and you will give me a son next time.” The surprise is evident on your face as your eyes snap to his. Not only is he being benevolent, but he also just said he wants another child with you. You were afraid he would discard you like a broken toy after this, no longer interesting enough to him, but it seems you still manage to hold your position as his favorite, bringing a smile to your face.

It has to be said that Sukuna can’t take his eyes off of you from the moment that tiny bump appears on your stomach. There’s something about it, about you, that makes every fiber of his being crave touching you. Maybe it’s that famous pregnancy glow, or maybe it’s the fact that he knows he’s the one who fucked a baby into you. You’re his, more clearly now than ever, and it excites him beyond his own comprehension.

Luckily for Sukuna, the hormones coursing through your body have you seeking him out desperately throughout most of your pregnancy. The first few months he fucks you like he wants to ruin you, rutting into you like an addict, but as soon as you really start showing he becomes more gentle. He wouldn’t risk seriously hurting you or his child, often seating you in his lap as he thrusts into you, his mouth lapping at your sweet neck. You still mewl so sweetly for him, so eagerly, and he already knows he might want to do this all over again after you’ve given him his first child.

Sukuna takes such good care of his little jewel, even massaging your poor sore breasts, teasing your aching nipples with his tongue. The changes to your body have him drooling all over you, his hands constantly on your growing breasts or belly. It becomes a guilty pleasure of his to touch you there, enjoying just having you on his lap as he rolls your nipples between his fingers, loving the way you squirm against him.

You find some of the changes quite embarrassing, especially when your breasts start leaking milk as you enter your third trimester. He only grins wolfishly when he notices the wet patches on the fabric covering your breasts, tutting as he pulls you to his chambers. “You need to relieve the pressure, little one.” And of course your benevolent master knows just how to do it, massaging your breasts till more drops come out, making sure he’s right there to help you through it all. This definitely gets far worse after you’ve given birth and your milk fully comes in, aching painfully to be released, Sukuna hot on your heels after ensuring your baby is fed to ‘help’ you.

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

*NSFW* How to train your pet Human pt. 3 (Yandere!Alien x GN!Reader)

CW: Dub-con, mild psychological distress, mind break, dead dove fic

Part 1, part 2

Kirtch slumped over his friend's standing chair, miserable and mopey.

A tall creature, taller than even Kirtch, sighed dramatically, sauntering around their depressed friend with a smaller horned being crawling behind them.

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong." Kirtch whined pathetically in Jaudna's native tongue. Jaudna made a gurgling sound with the soft spot on their head, the closest human equivalent being someone rolling their eyes. They sprawled across their lounging seat, motioning for their pet to stay on his knees.

"I'll tell you exactly what you've done wrong. You pampered them too much."

"I punish them!"

"You punished them for their escape attempt. That was it. You've allowed your pet to test your authority in plenty of ways after that."

The man on his knees pleaded with his eyes to be let up, but stayed perfectly still, like he wasn't alive. Kirtch noted Jaudna's pet's demeanor with discomfort. That discomfort only lasted until he imagined (Reader) in that same position, looking up at him with their large dewy eyes, waiting so patiently to be held by him... his discomfort was replaced by jealousy.

"You don't understand, (Reader's) such a sweet little pet, and whenever they struggle they're so cute about it. I just can't understand why they aren't happy."

"Humans' minds are incredibly flawed. According to the few psychological texts I have gotten my claws on over the years, their memory is not set in stone like ours, it is fickle and easily manipulated. One of my books referenced a case in the nation called 'The United States of America' where nearly the entire country fell into panic over an imaginary evil, because a few doctors used a phoney science called 'hypnotism', a practice they believed could help recover forgotten memories, on a bunch of children, but accidentally implanted false memories of abuse, leaving the children traumatized, believing that they had been victims of a horrific occult."

Kirtch looked to his good friend nervously. "Are you implying I do something nefarious to my pet's mind?"

"No, I'm showcasing an example of how stupidly easy it should be to train your pet to love you." They tossed a book into Kirtch's hands, the cover printed with a photograph of a wild looking man, with fluffy hair and dark, hateful eyes. "Hypnotism isn't the only creative way humans have learned to reprogram each other."

Kirtch almost threw the book back, but saw Jaudna's unnamed pet still sitting so patiently for his master, and the pain in his body where his heart may have been throbbed again. "Thank you.. Jaudna."

(Reader) had waited for what they assumed to be well over an Earth day, alone in Kirtch's quarters, waiting for his return. The only company they received were the employees who brought their meals, speaking down at them in a language they didn't know, but could understand the disgust. It had been over a month since their fight with Kirtch. Every day since had been nothing but hell, feeling like their heart had been ripped out, they laid in their bed cage, only moving when necessary, allowing themselves to hide away inside their own mind.

The main door opened again, and (Reader) could hear Kirtch's long, graceful steps as he passed through the study and into the bedroom. "(Reader)? Are you still in bed?"

In an act of defiance, (Reader) kept their mouth shut, pulling the blanket tighter around their shoulders. But it was of little use, as Kirtch easily lifted their purposefully dead weighted body out of the bed.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, pet, but I had to see an old friend for advice." He carried (Reader) back to his desk, sitting them in his lap, fighting to hold them upright as they flopped about limply. "(Reader), please sit up so I can take off your shirt."

He began working on the wrists, the intricate metal cuffs with multiple buttons that almost acted like locks, and (Reader) subtly straightened their back to give him better access to the neck corset thing, thankful to finally have it off for a couple hours at least. (Reader) had grown to find it somewhat elegant the past few months, but it still was an incredible pain in the ass.

Feeling the air on their neck was bliss, and (Reader) immediately ran their fingers over their skin. (Reader) breathed a deep sigh, relaxing their body unintentionally. But almost as soon as their hands left their throat, a new collar was latched into place, a loud mechanism clicking as it tightened, stabbing the back of their neck with what felt like a fixed needle.

(Reader) cried out in pain, sprawling out their limbs on reflex, pushing themselves out of Kirtch's embrace and onto the floor, lying naked on their knees as they clawed at the collar, desperate to relieve the pain.

"What?? Why?" Their voice was barely audible through their sobs.

"I'm so sorry my pet, the pain will end soon, wait-" Kirtch pushed a button on what looked like a remote, and (Reader) could physically feel the rush of liquid enter their body, then the pain lightened, leaving (Reader) almost euphoric in it's absence.

"What is this? Why did you do this?" Betrayal laced their tone, and Kirtch looked almost on the verge of tears, but he stood still, refusing his urge to scoop up his little pet and beg for forgiveness.

"I know now that I didn't train you correctly, and for that I am sorry. I've given you too much leeway, and that is why you've been so unhappy." He took a ragged breath, thumbing the controller as he thought out his words. "I didn't want to do this, but I care about your happiness. This is for the best."

"So you put a shock collar on me?" (Reader) asked incredulously, spitting venom.

"No, nothing barbaric like that!" Kirtch looked hurt, flinching as he almost dropped onto his knees to comfort (Reader). "I just need to convince you that you're happy here with me, just as I did the first night you were here, to help you release your stress."

(Reader) remembered the shot he gave them, that first night when Kirtch used a toy to get them off, the hormones he artificially added to their body to make them feel pleasure, and then thought about the pain in the back of their neck. The color drained from their face. There were only two options; plead or double down.

"You can manipulate me all you like, I'll never be happy here." A tear escaped as (Reader) transformed their hurt into anger. "I deserve someone who will love me, not as a pet, but as an equal. Because I am a human fucking being. And we have partnerships. We don't jack off our pets, we do not love our pets like we love the people we have sex with, because that- that is not okay! Why did you.." (Reader) couldn't stop themselves from crying, looking up to try to at least slow the waterworks.

The silence between them was loud. (Reader) turned away, wiping away their snot with their bare arms.

"Pet, noun; a domestic or tamed animal kept for companionship or pleasure. Adjective; denoting a thing that one devotes special attention to or feels particularly strongly about." (Reader) looked up, horrified. "Your's may not be my first language, but I feel I had a pretty decent grasp on my understanding of what a pet is."

Kirtch placed a hand over his face to hide his expression.

"You'll be happier once this is all over. I promise."

"You son of a-!" (Reader) couldn't finish their sentence, more fluid passed into their spine, followed by an immediate sense of emptiness. Extreme anxiety flooded their body, causing severe stomach pain almost instantly. They collapsed, holding onto their midsection, their bare skin clammy. "What? Why?"

"No more talking back to me, pet." Kirtch kept his voice steady.

(Reader) cried out, rapidly becoming exhausted from heavy nothingness filling their body. "Please.. stop.."

Kirtch nodded, appearing relieved. He pushed another button, and the emptiness ebbed away, leaving (Reader) numb.

"I don't understand why you're doing this." (Reader) weakly grumbled, too tired to pick themselves up.

"Because I want you to be happy."

"I'll never be happy with you."

"Why?"

"Because! I deserve to be loved!"

"I love you-"

"Fucking liar." (Reader) snarled, knowing that this would cause them to be punished again, but needing to get in the last word. Kirtch looked so miserable, so crushed by (Reader's) words, but they felt vindicated by his pain. They needed to twist the knife deeper.

He smiled, so sadly, and grabbed a blanket, bending onto one knee as he covered his pet. "I love you, (Reader)."

Their heart clenched, and their face flushed. Immediately they searched his hands for the remote. "S-stop that."

"I love you."

Chemicals pumped into their neck, making (Reader) feverish and causing their thighs to ache. Their breath hitched, and tears of betrayal escaped. "I hate you."

"I know."

More pain gripped their throat, regret causing physical discomfort. "Why are you doing this?"

His smooth shelled fingers caressed their jaw, tenderly cradling (Reader's) face as though he needed them. Kirtch's touch sent shivers across (Reader's) skin, and they couldn't tell if it was because of the collar or their loneliness, but they wanted to pull him closer, make him touch them more.

"I will live for much longer than you. I will watch you grown old, and die. Even then, I will still love you. You are the most incredible creature I've ever met. I don't mind if you push me away, and slap at me. I just want you to be happy, at least most of the time." His head grew closer, his hardened face almost brushing (Reader's). "Let me make you happy."

'I need to fight back. Make him pay! I'm practically a slave! He bought me! I'll never see my family again because of him!'

(Reader) leaned forward, mind melting through their ears from the intense heat, and smashed their lips onto where his should have been.

All rational thoughts were drowned out by the intense need. They needed him, his love. (Reader) was aware of the sound of buttons clicking, but they couldn't stop, crawling onto Kirtch's body, feeling the edges of his joints scraping their back as his hands hungrily roamed their body, wanting to touch everything.

They would have felt ashamed, knowing how aroused they were, their exposed body touching Kirtch's stomach. Sweat was clinging to (Reader's) skin, and their eyes drooped stupidly. The only thing they could think of was relieving themselves, and wanting to see Kirtch relieved as well.

"Are you going to fuck me?" (Reader) whined between wet kisses, drunk on his touches.

"I will, if you want me to."

Their mood shifted, frustration beginning to surface again. "No. If you love me, wouldn't you want me?"

Kirtch sighed, fiddling with the remote behind (Reader's) back. "I do not have the same nervous system as humans do. We only engage in sexual acts for the purpose of procreation."

Shame shocked (Reader), sobering them up instantly. "Oh. I- I am so sorry." (Reader) moved to get off of Kirtch, but was held in place by the much stronger being.

"I will, to make you happy."

"No, I'm sorry! It won't make me happy knowing you aren't feeling good. I'm-I'm sorry, please let me go."

Kirtch pressed the button again, watching his pet's face darken and their mouth go from frightened to slack jawed. "Knowing you are feeling pleasure, from me, and only me, will bring me more joy than I can express." His cloak was ripped away, revealing his gorgeously colored exoskeleton. Kirtch gripped (Reader's) face tighter, forcing his blue tongue deep into their mouth, bursting with pride at the sounds (Reader) was making.

"What do you want me to do?" Kirtch asked, not intending on sounding like he was teasing them, but Kirtch craved the sound of their voice begging him.

"Please.." (Reader) swallowed their drool, feeling the hormones pumping into their brain, but too horny to care. "Please fuck me."

The spot on his pelvis where a human's genitals would be split open and a long, slimy cock revealed itself, growing behind (Reader's) back to a horrifying size. (Reader) only became aware of his erection when it fell forward, slapping against (Reader's) ass and lower back. In their intoxicated state, they turned back to look at what had suddenly touched them, and their eyes grew large in surprise. "Is that..? That's too big..."

Off balance and tipsy, (Reader) turned around, still sitting on Kirtch's abdomen, so that they were facing his exposed dick, and touched it experimentally. It was ridiculously huge, but because of the hormones being injected into (Reader's) neck, they were ravenous, using both hands to pump up and down on the shaft as they stuck the thin tipped head into their mouth, tasting Kirtch passionately. Kirtch was beyond elated, watching his precious pet so needy for him.

Kirtch picked (Reader) up, moaning at the popping sound as he pulled their mouth away from his body, seeing nothing but love in (Reader's) eyes as he spun them back to face him, and slowly began lowering (Reader) onto his naturally lubricated member. "Keep looking at me."

(Reader's) mind was hazy, and it felt like they were about to die, saliva and alien fluids leaking out their mouth and down their chin. Their internal voice had gone silent, the amount of tampering that had been done to their brain left (Reader) devoid of rational thought and intellect. "Yes sir." They barely got the words out as Kirtch entered their body, sliding into their needy little hole easily and without resistance, ramming himself in so their pelvis smacked into his shell with a wet plop, bringing (Reader) to a climax just from entering.

"Smile for me, pet." Kirtch cooed joyfully, loving how (Reader's) body spasmed, before slowly lifting them up, revealing the trail of their combined wetness stretching between their reproductive organs.

(Reader) smiled, reacting on autopilot as they rode out their orgasm, practically biting off their tongue when their sensitive body connected with Kirtch's again. "Ahhh, I already came! Stop!!" Their words cried for relief, however their voice and smile demanded more. It was too much, and (Reader) did want a break, but it also felt amazing, and that dirty little part of themselves that was desperate for love needed their body to be abused.

Kirtch bounced (Reader) on his cock, fucking them like a toy, regretting that he didn't have a camera rolling to capture just how adorable his pet was in his hands. "Look at how happy you are, pet! Don't you want to be this happy all the time? Don't you always want to be happy, with me?"

Kirtch greedily pushed the button again, peppering (Reader) with kisses as they came again, their sticky juices splattering on his stomach. The squelching sound of (Reader's) bruising body getting fucked by the hard as steel monster beneath them was music to Kirtch's ears. He had, embarrassingly, read the book his friend had lent him, and knew now how humans used pleasure to keep brainwashed people by their side. But it wasn't just pleasure, it was that feeling of connection. He had thought about what (Reader) had said, that humans don't jack off their pets, and that made sense, for animals that did not share the same level of intelligence as an adult human. What (Reader) needed, was to feel equal, to feel like they weren't just a pet, but a partner. So how would they feel, if Kirtch ejaculated so deep into their body they were still excreting his cum weeks later?

"I'm going to mark you as mine, (Reader)." It was a lie, his species did no such thing, but the look of unbridled joy on (Reader's) cross eyed face, the loopy smile that twitched as tears poured down to their chest, was a sight that made it worth lying.

"Are you cumming? Are you cumming in me?" (Reader) slurred, barely holding themselves upright in Kirtch's grasp.

"If you promise to be a good little pet." Kirtch could hold out for as long as needed. His species did not have sex for pleasure, so there was no sense of urgency when they needed to release. He could have continued going for hours, if he hadn't overdone it with the collar. (Reader) was on the verge of passing out.

"I promise! I promise to be a good pet! I promise!" (Reader) exclaimed, colliding their lips back onto Kirtch's as a string of hot sperm shot up into (Reader's) body, a fluid so thick it was practically glue, leaving (Reader) feeling physically full. Kirtch couldn't help but push the button again, seeing his pet overflow with adoration for him.

"I love you, (Reader), I really really do."

Kirtch whispered sweet nothing's into his pet's ear as they passed out, then carried them to his bed, tucking in their swollen body, not minding the mess. (Reader) really was the most beautiful and adorable little pet in the entire universe. He doubt that he would ever get another pet after (Reader) was gone. He sat on the floor, rubbing circles into their tear stained cheeks, smiling contently.

Of course, the next day Kirtch would have to use the collar, showing (Reader) how bad they truly felt inside when they refused to get out of bed, and while it was awful making them cry when they tried to refuse to eat, it was for the best. Kirtch knew it wouldn't take long for (Reader) to graduate from needing their collar, and that soon they would always be by his side, begging him to pick them up and play with them. It didn't matter whether (Reader) needed cuddles or needed to be filled with his seed, Kirtch would overuse that remote until they desired his touch all the time.

He didn't mind the glassy, doll like glaze to their eyes, the change in their speech, the way they began crying whenever it looked like Kirtch was unhappy, or how they stopped pushing him away. After months of flushing their system with artificial love, Kirtch knew that his pet was happy with him. And that was all that mattered.

[multifandomgirl08]

X3 [Mini Verstappen Series]

Dad!Max Verstappen x Mother!Reader (Established Relationship)

Summary: “Hallo, kleine welp,” Max said.

Warning(s): Mentions of giving birth (Non-graphic)

Words: 2k

Previous Part → Next Part Mini Verstappen Masterlist

You were sitting in the backyard of the house in Belgium, while Nico was kicking around his soccer ball. Sylvie was inside making a late lunch for Nico, while Max was on a last minute craving run for you.

You had been feeling off the entire day, but it was probably just your body telling you that you were getting ready to have this baby soon. You were due in three weeks.

Nico was running towards you with the ball in his little hands, he dropped it on the grass before lying face first into the couch with his arms spread at his sides. “Mama,” Nico started to say. “I’m hungry.”

“Can you go inside and ask Sylvie nicely if she’s done making lunch?” You told him.

Nico gave a nod, leaving his ball by the pool. After lunch he would probably come back out here for a bit and kick it around with Max once he was back. You slowly made your way inside, Sylvie offered you a bottle of water while Nico sat at the kitchen table eating his sandwich.

You had gotten through half of the bottle of water while Nico was eating before making your way over to the couch to lie down. Your head hit the pillow and within a few seconds your eyes closed. You felt a few light kicks against your ribs, giving off a strange ache before you dropped your hand down to your abdomen.

You looked up a bit to see Max sitting on the couch next to you with your feet in his lap while he was on his phone. Max must have come home at some point while Nico was eating. Max was quick to look over at you placing his hand over yours.

“How’s our little cub doing?” Max asked, moving his hand higher up on your belly.

“Kicking me in the ribs.” You curled up a bit into the side of the couch.

“You need to be nice to Mama,” Max ran his hand over your stomach as the baby kicked. “She’s taking good care of you until you are ready to come out.”

You could see the proud smile on his face as there was the light imprint of feet on your skin where your shirt exposed your belly. You felt a small pain in your back but thought nothing of it. Braxton hicks were normal, you had them with Niki. You knew it was just your body’s way of preparing you for when you gave birth.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Nico and Max were in the backyard for a bit kicking the ball around, Max even tried to show Nico how to spike a ball off his head. You could hear Nico say to Max that it hurt. At one point you could see that Max picked Nico up and threw him over his shoulder, Nico letting out a delighted squeal before taking him back inside the house.

You had been sitting with Niki playing with his toys and reading to him. He kept reaching for your face or leaning forward to pick up toys that were on the mat. You did your best to lean forward when he reached for you. He got up on his little feet moving towards you, pressing his lips out and sloppily kissed your cheek. 

Eventually Max took Niki for a bit so you could shower as it had been hot and humid during the day. You had finally turned the water to a good temperature in the shower when you had first thought that you had peed, but then a few moments later felt what could only be a contraction. Shit! You had turned the water off, and quickly grabbed a towel drying off your skin as much as you could. You pulled a robe on and waddled your way out of the master bedroom and towards the hallway until you got to the stairs.

“Max!” You yelled down the stairs. You knew he was in the kitchen talking to Sylvie while the boys were eating.

You could hear footsteps before hearing, “Mijn leeuwin?” He asked.

You saw his head peeking out with a look of concern on his face.

“My water just broke.” You said. Max’s eyes went wide.

From there he was quick to ask you to get dressed, and ask Sylvie where your hospital bag was. Sylvie had pulled it out of the coat closet by the front door. She would stay the night with the boys and she could call Victoria if she needed anything.

Max focused on driving you to the hospital, and everytime you flinched from a contraction his eyes shifted over to you for a second.

It was a few more minutes before you were wheeled into the maternity ward, and a nurse said that she would call your doctor. You were sitting waiting with Max. By the time a doctor had come to check on you, he had said that you weren’t dilated all of the way yet but that your doctor was on her way and she would be there soon.

A few hours later, your doctor had shown up and a nurse had given Max a set of scrubs to change into before you were taken into the delivery room. He was taken to a bathroom, and pulled off his jeans to switch into the scrubs, then pulled the scrub shirt over his own t-shirt and then pulled his own sneakers back on.

Around 1 in the morning you were ready to push and the doctor suggested that Max sit behind you. He moved from next to you and climbed into the hospital bed behind you and held your hand, encouraging you to push. It had taken a bit before the baby was ready to come out.

“Push,” He whispered into your ear as your head was now resting on his shoulder. “One more, mijn leeuwin.”

You squeezed his hand as the doctor did everything to talk you through the last few moments before setting the baby down on your chest. The pain that you had gone through was worth it when you felt the baby placed on your chest.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy.” You heard from the doctor.

Max dropped a kiss to your forehead and held both of you the best that he could.

A while later Max got up from the bed, kissed your forehead once more and took the baby to get cleaned up with one of the nurses. It was the same as when you have Niki, the nurse took you to get cleaned up, they ran through all of the instructions for postpartum care. After helping you clean up, the nurse had you get back into bed and did an abdomen check, you knew that they would keep checking every hour give or take a few minutes until you left the hospital.

The baby had been brought back into the room at some point and placed back into your arms. You held him for a while before your arms started to grow tired and then thought to pass him over to Max. You couldn’t keep the little boy in your arms all day.

“Do you want to say hi to Papa?” You asked, carefully passing him over to Max.

Max was quick to take Nik into his arms, settling the baby against his bare chest. The baby settled against Max trying to curl himself into Max’s chest. His skin must have been warm. You could see Max moving his fingers up towards Nik’s hand before you heard Max take in an audible sharp breath as Nik grasped one of Max’s fingers.

“Hallo, kleine welp,” Max said.

It seems like Max had fully taken to calling Nik Little Cub now that he was out in the world. You couldn’t see if Nik’s eyes were open but you did see him trying to reach for Max’s face.

Max kissed Nik on the forehead and then settled the baby into his arms.

“He’s a little early,” The nurse said as she stood in the room with you as you were breastfeeding Nik. “Still healthy, and at a good weight though.”

Max had gone down stairs to get Sophie, Sylvie, and the boys after the nurse had come in to check on you. Victoria would be coming over to the house a few days after you got out of the hospital.

“That’s good,” You said looking at Nik’s little hand in a fist barely holding onto the hospital gown you wore.

By the time Sophie had walked in holding Nico’s hand and Niki’s carrier Nik had stopped feeding and been placed back into his bassinet. 

She asked how you were feeling, “Tired. But that’s normal.” You answered by lying your head back on the hospital bed pillow. Max gave a wide smile when Nico had come up to him, wanting to sit in Max’s lap.

Sophie had been holding Niki for a while before placing him by the foot of the bed. Niki stood by the edge of the bed holding onto Sophie’s hands while looking into the bassinet by your bed.

“Mama,” Nico said as he was sitting in Max’s lap. He looked at Nik as Max was holding him with his other arm.

“Yeah, Neeks?” You asked, half watching as Niki moved closer to you laying down at your side.

“I don’t want another sibling,” He blurted out, looking at Nik with a shake of his head. “No more.”

You laughed as Niki was lying with his head in your lap. You looked over at Max quickly. He gave you a wide smile that you read as; we’ll talk about it later. Sophie leaned closer to Nico and muttered something into his ear before looking back up to Max.

“But maybe a sister would be nice.” He said in a quiet tone.

You slightly shook your head. Max just leaned down trying to hide a smile while pressing his forehead into Nico’s hair.

“No promises.” You said, more to Sophie than to Nico. You gave your mother-in-law a small knowing look. As if that choice was up to you. She did have five grandsons after all now.

“Does he have a name?” Sophie asked.

“Nikolaas Martin,” Max said. Both you and Max had agreed to have Martijn be Nik’s godfather after you had both chosen Nik’s middle name, it only felt fitting given how much of a help he had been in the last two months.

“It’s a good name.” Sophie said. She leaned over the bassinet. “Hallo, Nikolaas.” She stroked her finger over Nik’s cheek, and he moved towards her just a little.

“Mama, home?” Niki asked looking up at you.

“Later, if the doctor lets us leave soon.” Max started to say. Niki looked up at you before pressing his head into the side of your leg.

It was a while before the doctor had come in to check on you again. Sophie was going to take Nico and Niki home as Niki was getting tired, he kept rubbing at his eyes and saying no to taking a nap.

The doctor had just come in when she saw Niki, “Y/N, is that Nikita? I haven’t seen him since he got delivered.”

You gave her a nod.

“How old is he now?” Before you or Max could answer, Niki looked at his hand and slowly stuck out his pointer finger to say that he was one.

“One and a half.” You specified.

“Well you know the procedure then, no… activity for six weeks and then we can check that everything's healing normally.” The doctor looked like she wanted to give Max the stink eye, as she probably did the math from Niki being born, to Nik being conceived. “I’ll write up your discharge papers, and you should be home by the end of the day.”

You gave her a small nod back before lying your head back against the pillow. Looks like you would be able to sleep in your own bed by the end of the night.

Mini Verstappen taglist: @karmabyfernando, @barcagirly, @sachaa-ff, @iamahallucinationnn, @musingsbyshreya, @glow-ish, @nonsensical-nonsence, @fanboyluvr, @champomiel, @gothicwidowsworld, @lighttsoutlewis, @itsalwaysgay, @minkyungseokie, @mynameisangeloflife, @ursforever129, @aundercover, @bborra, @mindless-rock, @cixrosie, @barcelonaloverf1life, @taylorslovesswifties13, @konsti081, @mellowarcadefun, @smnthnclj, @brekkers-whore, @lpab, @thedecalcomania-blog, @xoscar03, @em-gvf01, @haikyuen, @shelbyteller , @geniusalpaca, @princessria127 , @mysticalnightenthusiast , @green-thots , @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp ,

[thesassypadawan]

Spring Has Sprung (Master Anakin x FemPadawanReader)

Summary: This isn’t how you imagined your first time would be like. You thought it would be romantic, loving. That all changed though when your master was infected by a sex pollen during a mission. Taking what he’s always wanted, whether you like it or not, and…showing you a side of yourself that you never knew.

Warnings: 18+ (minors dni), because of all the lovely smut. Sex pollen, hair pulling, rough sex, age gap implied (20 years), and Ani’s big dick. Padawan Reader is of age.

Notes: Happy First Day of Spring, lovelies!

“I’m sorry, angel… So sorry… I promise to make this up to you… To give you the moment you deserve…”

Despite his compassionate words, Anakin’s voice was low. Filled with lust, laced with darkness. A darkness that sent a chill down your spine, straight to your soaking core.

You let out a small whine as he slid in and out of you. Slow, teasing; pushing you further to your limit each time his hips pressed against yours.

With your ass high in the air, Ani kept his steady pace. Brushing your cervix with his tip, making you whimper…causing him to growl.

From the way his grip on your hips begins to tighten and how his thrusts grew more forceful. You could tell that what little of his self-control was quickly slipping away. That he would no longer be able to hold back. “Don’t be scared.”

This isn’t how you imagined your first time would be like. You had always pictured, had always hoped that it would be gentle…loving…the most romantic moment of your life. Instead it was being stolen away; stripped and reformed into something entirely different. Something more twisted and ugly. All thanks to the pollen…the pollen that had infected your master.

Well, at least one piece of your dream had come true…

He grabbed the back of your neck. Squeezing hard, enough to cause you to gasp out in pain and terror. “Do you know how many times I’ve fantasized about this?”

Organic hand moved higher, burying itself into your hair. “About the way you’d look beneath me.”

Pulling harshly, he yanked your head up. Hips now moving at a brutal speed. Length slamming into you over and over while you whined helplessly. “The feel of you clenching around my cock.”

Mecho hand slapped your ass painfully and you cried out. A small flame of pleasure igniting inside of you. “The sounds you’d make as I break in your tight, virgin pussy.”

A moan spilled from your lips. “Yes…please, yes.” That broke off in a high pitched mewl as his cold fingers brushed your clit.

You can practically hear the smirk in Anakin’s voice. “Please, huh? Please, what?” He pulled your hair roughly, the burn on your scalp sending shivers down your spine.

He pinched at your sensitive bud, swirling around it. Your walls fluttered in response and a gasp flew from your mouth. “Master! Please, master! Break me in and make me yours!”

“Better,” he grunted, tugging even harder. “Now tell me, who does this pussy belong to?”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, the sting so overwhelmingly good. “You. It belongs to you.”

Removing his fingers, he lands another powerful smack on your ass. Pulling you up higher by your hair, he forces himself deeper. “What was that, padawan of mine? Couldn’t hear you.”

No words, all you manage to do is squeal in delight. Ani’s fingers were toying with your clit once more, his hips thrusting frantically. The sound of your obscene slapping only spurred you on, clinging to every inch of his rock-hard length,

Not answering him properly earned you a low, warning growl. Then a sharp tug, your neck snapping back. “Aargh! You, my pussy belongs to you!”

You felt his hot breath on your neck, followed by his teeth sinking into your shoulder. “That’s right, only your master’s. To cum and ruin whenever he pleases.”

No longer fighting your torn emotions, you let yourself get swept up in Anakin’s words. Your whole-body trembles, you clamp down hard. Fingers dig into the mattress and your toes curled. “Maaa…Master!” You wailed, your orgasm ripping though you.

Spent; you begin to fall forward, but are yanked back up. “Not yet! I’m not finished with you yet!”

His hand slid to your hip, squeezing it with a durasteel grip. He pounds into you without remorse. Bruising and abusing your poor cervix, while he chases after his own release.

It’s all too much, you’re so overstimulated. Tears stream down your face as the pain sets in. As the realization hits you…that you’re being used as nothing more than his personal cocksleeve. And maker help you, you have never been more aroused. “Cum! Cum, please! Want it! Need it!”

A loud groan filled the air. “Take it! Don’t you dare waste a single drop!” With one last forceful pull, he buried himself to the hilt. Cock twitching, shooting rope after thick rope deep inside of you. Filling you to the absolute brim.

Both panting, the hand in your hair slackened. Now gently massaging your poor overtaxed scalp. “I-I wasn’t too rough; was I, hatari?”

Anakin’s actions… His words… The pollen must have worn off...

Head tipping forward, you laughed softly. Relief with a hint of disappointment washing over you. “Nothing I-I couldn’t handle.”

Peace had fallen… Your Ani had returned to you… It was finally…

His grip began to tighten, hips slowly started to rock. And that voice; that voice filled with lust, laced with darkness muttered. “Good then you’ll be able to take much MUCH more.”

Tag List: @espinathena-17, @myheartwillgoon2022, @cacti5539, @wifeofasith, @princessswifie

[magdalence]

word count: 3,141

pairing: sylus/mc

rating: explicit (18+)

tags: spanking, humiliation, vaginal fingering, squirting, vaginal sex, clothed sex, oral sex, come eating, brat taming, degradation, porn without plot, penis in vagina sex

Sylus' got you bent over his lap, skirt pulled up around your waist. He threatened to put you over his knee if you misbehaved, and you countered with: put me over your lap and consider whatever you do to me as repayment. It made him smile at the time.

Or: you walk right into one of Sylus' clever traps trying to pay off a debt.

(cross-posted to ao3)

You haven’t been playing according to his rules, because, well, he’s frustrating, he knows exactly how to edge himself in under your skin and get to you. And if you’re honest with yourself – something he delights in pulling out of you, much to your chagrin – he’s so damn good at it you have started enjoying walking into the traps he sets for you.

Not that you’d ever admit it to him.

“Kitten…” He sighs, dragging a finger up your exposed thigh, the touch sending goosebumps shivering across your skin. Even when you don’t want to, your body betrays you near him, like he knows how to call it in ways you have never known before. It’s… Exciting. A tangled and messy feeling you don’t know what to make of. Some days you want to drown in it, let it suffuse you, let it take you completely.

Tonight is veering there. And you really want to clear out some of the debt between the two of you.

He’s got you bent over his lap, skirt pulled up around your waist. He threatened to put you over his knee if you misbehaved, and you countered with, put me over your lap and consider whatever you do to me as repayment. It made him smile at the time.

“Are you chickening out?” you ask defiantly, turning to look over your shoulder at him. “If so, just pull my skirt down and –”

The palm of his hand lands on your ass, hard, and you jump a little, shocked at the sting of pain unfurling throughout your body, and hot on its heels comes another sensation, a hunger whispering more.

He chuckles at your reaction. “I’d never back down on a promise to you,” he says, dragging his nails over the sore spot on your ass, and you can’t catch the moan in the back of your throat fast enough as it spills out. “I did say if you failed my test again, I’d have to truly discipline you.”

“Hardly felt it,” you lie, feigning as much haughtiness as you can muster.

His hand is quick to react, hitting the bottom part of your ass harder. You inhale sharply through your nose, biting the inside of your cheek. There’s not letting him know just how much it stings, and the other part of knowing what this kind of pain does to you.

“Can you keep count for me, kitten?” He tenderly strokes the same spot he just hit, and you whine, blinking hard as you nod. “I can’t hear you. With your words, please.”

“Two,” you say, and the second word lingers on your tongue, the key to giving him what he wants, and you swallow it back down hard. All you have to do is call him master, and a whole new realm opens up between you. But not yet. All you have to do is say please, and... It'll get to his head so fast.

“Two, good. Seems you have enough thought in your head.” His palm hits your ass again, lighter this time, a touch that feels distractingly good. “Make sure not to lose count?”

“Or else?”

“Or else, I drop you on the floor and leave this room.”

You want to choke him. You want to beg and plead and you want to tie him down and make him stay with you here forever, right in the grey zone of tipping over, and you want him to hit you again so bad before he notices you’re dripping on his tailored pants.

“Three. Four. Five. Ah, ahhh, six, seven, ah! Eight!” Your whimpers echo in the room, intertwining with the sound of his dry palm on the warm skin of your ass, always finding a new angle to hit against so that each impact stings just enough to make tears threaten to spill. Not enough, but just enough to wrench something open inside you.

“What an impressive show you’re putting on,” he hums, his feather-light fingertips dancing across your skin. “Could it be that you are distracting me from something?”

“Such as?”

His finger stops, drifting down between your thighs, and the humiliating sound of wetness fills your ears, a hot blush blooming down your face.

“If you were trying to hide it,” he says, dragging his nail along the seam of your panties, “you did a poor job. It’s been glistening since before I even hit you.”

You let out a frustrated groan, digging your fingers into his leg.

“I know you’re aching to say it,” he laughs, his free hand pulling at your hair until you’re strung between his hands, taut and wanton, your back arched in a perfect curve. “Why don’t you try me? I have my moments of mercy, you know.”

“I wouldn’t know,” you hiss, your hips twitching. “Nothing I’ve seen from you has been close to merciful.”

“Is that what you think of me?” he drawls, clicking his tongue. “That won’t do.”

He moves his knuckle against your wet cunt, pressing the fabric in between the folds until you feel it glued to your skin and soaked through completely. The breath catches in your throat as he runs his fingers down your labia, as he circles the swell of your aching clit without touching it directly. It’s infuriating how close he is, how little of a touch you’d need to fall over the edge right now, and yet – he won’t. He’s a bastard and he knows it.

“See?” He strokes his wet fingertips against the seam of skin at the back of your thigh. “I could be so good to you if you let me. All you have to do–”

“Nine,” you say, breathing between gritted teeth. You won’t give him the satisfaction. Not yet. He has to earn it with every inch of his rotten self.

“If you’re sure,” he sighs, sounding more bored than excited as he raises his hand and it falls hard and sharp on the curve of your ass. “You make everything so hard for yourself.”

He’s not wrong, but it only solidifies your iron will. For a moment, at least. There is a little bit more force in his hand this time, a flick of the wrist at the end of the strike that stings so sweet and horrid in your flesh. The pain feels fresher, sharper, and you are ashamed at how badly you want it.

“Ten,” you say, barely able to contain the moan as his hand meets your skin. “So did that put a dent in my debt?”

“Barely.”

You huff. “Fine. Eleven.”

“Bold.” His hand connects with your skin and it’s like fireworks going off in your body. “But do you think you can keep this up?”

“Twelve.”

Another slap. “I will admit, it is delicious when it is you asking for the punishment yourself.” His grip tightens on your hair, and the strain on your neck makes it harder to swallow – and worse, harder to grit your teeth. Like everything he does, it has to be intentional. He knows you too well already.

“Thirteen,” you say, but your voice has a flutter to it.

“As you wish.”

Pain straddling pleasure straddling your certain unraveling creeping closer.

“Fourteen,” you whine. He’s won, he’s known that since the start, but you cling to the hope of dragging it out just a little more.

“Don’t wear yourself out, sweetheart,” he murmurs, shifting his legs. “I wouldn’t want you to be too sore.”

With the change in position, you can feel a tell-tale hardness pressing against your belly, and your resolution begins cracking at the edges. You whine, mouth watering at the thought of his cock in you, jaw quaking as you speak.

“Fifteen…”

It is hard to tell what is singing louder in your body as he spanks you, the pleasure or the pain, the fine line between them blurred completely. All you know is that you’re so wet all he has to do is slide one finger inside you and you’d crumble.

“Had enough?”

You nod, straining against his hand holding your hair.

“And what do we say?”

“Please,” you whimper, tears finally rolling down your cheeks. You blink, lashes heavy, and draw in a shaky breath. “Please, Sylus, touch me.”

“I knew you’d break eventually.” He laughs, soft and tender, but his voice is husky, betraying him just as much.

In one smooth move, he shoves the underwear aside and dips two fingers inside you, and you let out a scream as a surprise orgasm ripples out from the touch, so hard and fast that it pulls you under. You shake and thrash on his lap, squealing as he won’t let you get away from his fingers, pushing them in to the final knuckle and curving them down against your abdomen.

“Since you asked so nicely,” he says, letting go of your hair to cup your chin, sticking two fingers into your mouth. “Now be still and take your reward like a good girl.”

The fingers in your pussy thrust in and out, the curve of them just right to hit your g-spot, and you don’t last long, still weak from the first orgasm he barely had to work for.

“You’re so easy for me,” he whispers in your ear, tip of his tongue touching the curve of it. “You’re soaking wet, all for me. Isn’t this a better use of your time? Of you?”

Your head spins from the way he’s talking, and you can’t come up with anything to snap back at him, shamefully sucking hard on his fingers instead, something to keep the drool from spilling from your lips.

His expert fingers press down inside you and you barely muffle the cry as another orgasm rolls through you, your entire body shaking as you feel the tell-tale wetness dripping down the inside of your legs. You moan and whimper, grinding futilely against him, unable to exert any control of your body.

“Ssh,” he intones, and you hold a shaky breath, listening.

Nothing, except your heart beating so hard you feel deaf to the world, and then: a wet drip-drip-drip on the cold marble floor.

“Hear that? That’s all you.”

Shame unfurls inside you, sticky and warm, and you feel how his fingering has opened you up. You clench around his fingers, but instead of continuing to fingerfuck you as you desire, he pulls them out and leaves you gaping open and empty, pushing you off his lap.

You squirm on the floor, humiliated and flushed and above all, weak – your limbs are soft, and it takes so much effort to even get up on your elbows to glare at him.

“You could try being gentle.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” He bends down, wrapping your hair around his fist, hard enough to draw a hiss from your parched lips. “Now be a good girl and clean up the mess you made.” He runs his thumb over your lower lip, and your gaze flutters down between his thighs. Despite the low lighting in the room and the black pants he wears, you can tell he’s hard.

“And what’s my incentive?”

“I believe you can see it for yourself, no? So get to work.” He drops you unceremoniously, your face falling flat into the puddle you’ve created on the floor from how hard he made you squirt.

His fine designer shoes clack against the marble as he circles around you, watching, waiting. You wait until he’s within your line of sight before you stick your tongue out and lean down, licking along the cold floor in one long stripe. It’s humiliating, and he loves the sight of it.

“How far you’re willing to fall for me,” he murmurs, studying you with a smug smirk.

Your tense breathing aches in your chest, and you dip your head down again, licking up as much as you can and raising your head back up to show your open mouth as you swallow, sticking your tongue out.

“Good enough?” you ask.

“For now, yes.”

His eyes shimmer a brighter shade of red and shadowy tendrils wrap around you, lifting you up from the floor – a sensation you haven’t quite gotten used to yet. You gasp and writhe as he beckons you along to the nearby couch, depositing you facedown on top of it.

Before you even have a chance to turn around, he pins you down with his body on top of yours, the heat and pressure making you moan.

“Stay still for me, darling,” he hums against your neck, scraping his teeth along the sensitive skin. One of his hands find your neck, cradling it with a surprising amount of tenderness, his thumb swiping over your lower lip – and the other brushes against your naked ass, the telltale sound of a zipper opening making you whine deep in your throat.

“You could have ended that charade quicker if you’d just had some manners.” His cock freed, the tip brushes against your soaking wet folds and you think you might lose your mind if he doesn’t shut up and push into you already. “Then again, I adore watching you like this, rendered a filthy mess just for me to use.”

There’s a snappy demand on your tongue, but it turns to dust as he presses himself inside you from behind, pinning you down with his full body as he slides in slowly. His cock stretches you open, and you claw at the leather before he catches your hands and hold them still.

“Relax,” he whispers, biting your earlobe. “That’s just the tip.”

He takes his time, pressing and pushing inside of you, the position of you prone on the couch with him sliding into you from behind undoing you little by little. The angle has his cock dragging deliciously against all the good spots inside of you, and each time you think he’s all in he finds a way to press a little bit more.

When he finally, finally is flush against you and bottomed out, you heave a loud sob and feel a shivering orgasm drip out of you.

“How cute you are when you’re all sensitive like this.” He turns your face to the side, leaning in to lick at the tears sliding down your cheek. At the same time, he begins to move, a slow motion that drags against your insides and leaves you gasping for air. It’s too much it’s too good it’s too perfect, he fits inside you so well, he fills you up to the brim, and you can’t breathe properly for how good it feels to have him thrusting deep and hard inside you.

“Such a mess you’ve made of yourself.” He slides his hand down over your half-buttoned shirt, finding your breast and pinching the nipple so hard you cry out. “Sensitive? I’ll remember that.”

How dearly you wish he hadn’t stolen your way with words right about now.

When you cum again, he laughs, his tongue licking at your mouth until you stop quivering enough to return his kiss. He holds it and fucks you, slow and patient, wrenching pleasure after pleasure from you even as your ass aches from how he’s pressing down on the red welts he’s inflicted. You cry, moan, gasp and scratch at his hands, whimpering – but never for mercy, only for more.

As you orgasm, having lost count long ago, his breathing grows hot and heavy against your neck, and he leans his forehead against your back. The pace of his thrusts grow erratic, his fingers digging into your hips as he groans and buries himself deep inside of you, a hot heat following as he bites down on your shoulder when he cums.

Your breath trembles as he remains inside of you, and you feel… Messy, filthy, ruined, and absolutely adored. You rest your tear-stained cheek on the dark leather, his heart hammering hard against your rib cage as he goes soft inside you and you begin to feel the humiliating drip of his cum trickling out of you.

“It seems I’ve made a mess,” Sylus says, stroking his hand against your cheek. “That simply won’t do.”

You cry as he slides out of you, wanting him to stay longer, for hours, to keep his cock inside of you, to fill you up because that’s the best way to keep you, to use you.

With a tender touch, he guides you so you’re sitting somewhat upright, slumped against the backrest. You are a mess, drenched in both his and your own cum, skirt bunched up around your waist with torn seams at the thigh slit, breasts hanging out of your shirt. He doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he stops briefly to admire you, something so gentle and loving in his gaze that it makes you melt.

He kneels down on the floor between your knees, spreading them apart and letting them rest on his shoulders as he leans close to your swollen cunt and licks a long stripe along the labia. You sigh, a shiver passing through your body.

“Has anyone ever told you how delicious you taste?”

Before you get a chance to reply, he takes the opportunity from you – something he seems to treasure doing, you’re realizing – and dips his tongue inside of you, licking and sucking. He cleans you out with his tongue, swallowing and humming each time he does. All the while, his intense gaze has you pinned down. There’s so much in it you can’t read, but there’s such a devotion to him that it makes you feel exposed. Naked, beyond everything. Laid bare for his consumption.

“Did that put a dent in the debt?” you ask, hoping to pull some focus back to yourself. It’s so hard when his tongue is inside of you, cleaning up all he’s done to you as if he is the one owing you something.

He leans back, swallowing loudly. “I’d say you got somewhere.” His eyes sparkle with mirth, touching his lips to the inside of your thigh before standing up, pulling your skirt down and adjusting your shirt to cover up your breasts. “Though you can come up with something better, can’t you kitten?”

You glare at him, opening your mouth to a snarl – and he catches your chin, smirking down at you before leaning in to kiss you deep and hard, the salt on his tongue sending an electric spark through you all the way down to your core.

He drives you insane, he gets under your skin – and by all that is unholy and horrid about him, you want him right there, pushing you senseless, right on the edge of everything. Being with him feels like you’re one breath away from falling into a dark abyss, and you want to see if he catches you… Or falls with you.

[nyoomerr]

I hope you have a nice week of vacation!!!

For a prompt request perhaps something with a more monstrous or demonic Binghe? Potentially dealing with self hatred/insecurity or dysphoria because of this but with a shen Yuan being VERY into monstrous features actually.

(only if that strikes your fancy though. Have a good one either way!)

combining these two prompts together to present you both with some cursed dragon!binghe and a sqq that has very little issues with what that means for him, lmao.

---

Admittedly, when a disciple had burst into the lecture hall to very frantically inform Shen Qingqiu that something was wrong with Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu hadn’t thought much of it.

On Cang Qiong, ‘something wrong with Luo Binghe’ could be anything from Luo Binghe outright attacking Liu Qingge to something as small as Luo Binghe having disturbed the dirt beneath his feet as he walked. Luo Binghe’s very presence here was something that even occasionally was reported to Shen Qingqiu as ‘something wrong,’ because Shen Qingqiu still hadn’t quite managed to strike down the rule barring Luo Binghe from entry to the sect.

So Shen Qingqiu had sighed, given the interrupting disciple his most withering ‘don’t you know better than to barge in like that!’ glare, and exited the classroom with very little urgency. 

It was only on the walk back to the bamboo house that some of Shen Qingqiu’s irritation began to be replaced with concern. 

Disciples and hall masters from Qing Jing and Qian Cao alike were running about like chickens that had lost their heads - most of them looking as if they’re just running around to be a part of the action and gossip rather than to actually be useful, but running around nonetheless. The Qian Cao disciples in particular seem to be very dedicated to scouring the ground for what appear to be crystalized… feathers? Scales? Whatever they are, they glint a deep red in the sun despite looking near black in the shade.

Alarmingly, many of them seem to be quite bloody.

Shen Qingqiu picks up the pace a bit. Then, when he gets near enough the bamboo house that he can hear the commotion of fighting and the wretched sound of a beast in pain, he abandons his pride and starts running.

“Liu-Shidi!” Shen Qingqiu calls as he approaches, watching with horror as Liu Qingge stabs Cheng Luan through a window to poke at something in the bamboo house. “What on earth is going on?!”

Liu Qingge looks up at the sound of his name, and then promptly gets thrown across the clearing that the bamboo house sits in when a thick tail whips out of the window to knock into him.

Shen Qingqiu looks at Liu Qingge - already standing back up, although looking significantly more irritated - and then back at the bamboo house. He does some quick mental math. 

“...Binghe?” He calls tentatively. 

The awful noises from inside the bamboo house stop. The creature’s tail freezes where it had been slowly slithering back in through the window that it had whacked Liu Qingge through. 

“Oh, Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu sighs, taking that as all the confirmation he needs. “What did you get yourself into this time?”

“Back off,” Liu Qingge grunts, sliding between Shen Qingqiu and the house. “If that’s really your disciple in there, he has even less sense than usual.”

“Nonsense,” Shen Qingqiu says. Hadn’t he clearly displayed a sense of shame just now, when Shen Qingqiu had caught him throwing Liu Qingge about? Actually, isn’t the fact that he attacked Liu Qingge in such a way proof in itself that it’s still his troublesome disciple in there?

“He sent three of your disciples to Qian Cao before I got here,” Liu Qingge says, and Shen Qingqiu winces.

Luo Binghe may not try very hard to maintain good relations with Shen Qingqiu’s fellow peak lords, but he does try to be civil with everyone on Qing Jing. 

Well. Everyone except Ming Fan, usually. Poor Ming Fan.

Still, Shen Qingqiu is quite convinced that the beast inside his house is Luo Binghe. He’d been away for the last week quelling a rebellion in the southern demon lands, fighting against a race of demons known for their particularly potent curses.

The mental math Shen Qingqiu had done adds up: it’s been nearly a full month since the last wife plot he’d had to fend off with his husband. Naturally, the beast inside his home must be a Luo Binghe that’s been cursed in some awful way that will require a truly heinous amount of freaky papapa!

Shen Qingqiu takes a determined step towards the bamboo house. 

Liu Qingge mirrors the step, remaining firmly in the away. 

“...Liu-Shidi, if you don’t mind,” Shen Qingqiu says, pointedly taking another step to try and get around him.

Liu Qingge mirrors the step once more. “He’s attacking indiscriminately,” he says, scowling. “That beast has hurt you enough as it is, no need to -”

Whatever Liu Qingge had been about to say, it’s cut off by the sound of Luo Binghe making another wretched noise, followed by something shattering inside the bamboo house, and then complete silence once more.

Shen Qingqiu sighs. Of all the casualties of this world’s nonsense, the sheer number of fine tea sets that he’s lost to plotlines deciding that something shattering would add some good drama is truly the worst!!

“Try to stay still for now, Binghe,” he calls over Liu Qingge’s shoulder. “This master will help you get untangled once I get in there.”

“Don’t let him out,” Liu Qingge says, blocking Shen Qingqiu’s way with Cheng Luan. 

Shen Qingqiu eyes him distrustfully. “Shidi was the one who locked him in my house?”

Liu Qingge sends a pointed glare around the clearing. The clearing which, in all fairness, is quite a bit messier than it usually is: whole swaths of bamboo have been trampled, and deep claw marks dig ugly rows in the ground everywhere Shen Qingqiu looks. The little garden that Luo Binghe has been tending recently is completely lost; Shen Qingqiu tuts as he thinks about how irritated Luo Binghe will be to have lost his favorite source of fresh vegetables. 

“He’s out of control,” Liu Qingge says. “Containing him in a small space was the most immediate method of getting your disciples out of danger.”

Shen Qingqiu sighs, bringing a hand up to rub at his temples.

“Just to be clear,” he says, “Liu -Shidi heard reports of a beast on a violent rampage on Qing Jing, showed up and saw a creature wreaking havoc, and decided that the best course of action was to corral the beast into my house?”

“...” Liu Qingge says.

“Thanking Liu-Shidi for his assistance,” Shen Qingqiu says with very little real gratitude. “Now shoo; go scare the Qian Cao disciples off my peak if you’re not done playing guard dog. They’re trying to collect Binghe’s blood again, I think.”

Liu Qingge’s expression twists. If Shen Qingqiu feels disturbed watching little baby medics trying to scrape Luo Binghe’s blood up off the ground to research, Liu Qingge undoubtedly detests the idea of their righteous sect collecting that “dirty” blood even more.

Eventually, Liu Qingge huffs, sheathing Cheng Luan and turning away from Shen Qingqiu in one movement.

“Fine,” he grunts. “But when he lashes out at you, too -”

“He won’t,” Shen Qingqiu interrupts, and finally manages to push past Liu Qingge and into the bamboo house.

Although, once he’s inside, he realizes very quickly that there’s very little room for him to go from there. 

Luo Binghe’s current form takes up most of the entire main room of the bamboo house, even with his body curled up tight in one spot to try and avoid knocking into the walls. Every breath Luo Binghe takes seems to move the whole space for how powerful it feels, and Shen Qingqiu can barely make out the crushed remains of the table beneath one massive paw.

A western dragon, Shen Qingqiu thinks, taking in the sight with no small amount of awe. 

Of course, he makes sure to feel an appropriate amount of irritation towards Shang Qinghua about it too.

Still though, Luo Binghe as he is now is truly a sight to behold. A handsome and proud snout with giant curving fangs peeking out from his mouth sits below a pair of reptilian eyes that shine with the same pretty shade of red that Luo Binghe’s eyes normally do when he gets irritated. Large red horns sprout from the sides of his head and curve and twist in front of his forehead in an approximation of his demonic huadian. His whole body ripples in the light, covered in those beautiful crystalline scales - though Shen Qingqiu notes with some regret that he can quite clearly see the bloodied patches where some of those scales have been ripped out. 

He doesn’t seem to have wings, but Shen Qingqiu easily spots the long tail that had knocked into Liu Qingge - as Shen Qingqiu examines Luo Binghe, the tail starts to thump rhythmically against the ground, like a dog sheepishly wagging its tail. Ah, that’s really… really too cute!!

“Welcome back, Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu greets. The rhythmic thumping of Luo Binghe’s tail gets a bit quicker. “Can you speak like this?”

Luo Binghe’s tail stills, and Shen Qingqiu instantly feels some regret at the loss. Still, he supposes that answers that, then.

“That’s fine,” Shen Qingqiu says. “Just - ah, make some sort of noise if I do anything that hurts. I’m just going to examine you real quick, alright?”

Slowly, Shen Qingqiu approaches, ducking under Luo Binghe’s massive head to reach his flank. This close, he can get a better idea of what hurt Luo Binghe.

…He almost wishes he hadn’t looked. The bloodied areas missing scales look very much like they’d been inflicted with a giant mouth rather than a sword glare.

“Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu sighs. “One tail wag for ‘yes,’ two for ‘no’: did you rip some of these scales out yourself?”

Luo Binghe stubbornly keeps his tail perfectly still. Frustrated, Shen Qingqiu reaches out to rap his knuckles across an undamaged part of Luo Binghe’s flank in scolding. 

“Your healing abilities may be beyond anything a cultivator could imagine, but you can not heal a curse by trying to rip apart the cursed bits and hope they heal properly, you foolish disciple!”

Luo Binghe’s tail thumps twice against the ground defiantly. Shen Qingqiu can practically hear the retort: It worked the time with the Frost Bees, Shizun!

“The Frost Bees do not count,” Shen Qingqiu sniffs. “Nor does the time with the Crowned Pit Viper Clan: they used cursed objects, which spread the curse from the object to the wearer. Lopping off your arm worked because it stopped the spread from the bracelets, not because you were tearing off an affected piece and letting it heal back to an uncursed state.”

Luo Binghe already knows this, of course. Shen Qingqiu had scolded him quite enough at the times it had happened. Regardless of the fact that it worked, there are better ways to do these things!!

Shen Qingqiu sighs again, suddenly feeling very exhausted, and leans his weight on Luo Binghe’s flank. It’s very warm. Luo Binghe bends the long length of his neck to snuffle worriedly at Shen Qingqiu, and Shen Qingqiu pets at his giant snout reassuringly. 

Slowly, he starts to feed Luo Binghe some of his qi, directing it to the spots that were damaged. They’ve already healed, of course - despite Luo Binghe’s continued reckless abandon for his own wellbeing, he has stopped trying to keep his injuries around for Shen Qingqiu to dote on after realizing just how much it distressed Shen Qingqiu - but Shen Qingqiu offers his healing qi all the same.

It gives him something to focus on, to distract him from just how much he does not want to have this conversation.

“This master… it isn’t a bother to help resolve any curses that may be inflicted upon you.”

That is - if it’s to help out Luo Binghe, it isn’t a bother to cure things in the way traditional to Proud Immortal Demon Way. Er, that is - 

Well, of course Shen Qingqiu is referring to papapa!

Luo Binghe is still for a moment, and then noses at Shen Qingqiu insistently. Shen Qingqiu huffs.

“Well, if you don’t like not being able to be a part of this conversation, maybe you shouldn’t have done anything foolish to prompt it!” He scolds. “If you’d just come to get me normally, instead of tearing at your scales and scaring the disciples and somehow getting Liu-Shidi involved -!”

Luo Binghe noses at him some more. 

“Yes, yes, it’s fine, I sent him away. Honestly, though, I don’t know why you didn’t just come get me! We could have had this all sorted by now, no Liu-Shidi needed to begin with!”

Luo Binghe makes a pathetic noise, shoving his snout into Shen Qingqiu hard enough it knocks the breath out of him.

“Aiya, I get it, I get it, no mentioning other people when we’re about to -” Shen Qingqiu breaks off, clearing his throat awkwardly. 

Luo Binghe does not stop his ugly sounding whines. Finally, Shen Qingqiu is forced to realize that Luo Binghe’s concerns may be different than he’d been assuming.

“...Is there a reason you didn’t come get me, then? Outside of your pride?” 

Luo Binghe only stares at Shen Qingqiu unblinkingly. If Shen Qingqiu were to assign a human emotion to the reptilian face, he’d say it was one of disbelief. 

Slowly, Luo Binghe looks down at his massive paws, and the deadly claws on the ends of them. Shen Qingqiu notes with interest that the shape of them is more like a cat’s than a lizard’s, and he wonders idly if the claws extend and retract in the same way that a cat’s does. How much force would he have to use to push Luo Binghe’s claws into their extended state? Are his toes webbed like a cat’s, as well?

Then Shen Qingqiu blinks, remembering that he was trying to have a cross-species conversation here, not that this input from Luo Binghe makes any sense in the current conversation.

“The house is already a mess,” Shen Qingqiu dismisses. “The bed will surely not be any more damaged by your claws now than it already has been.”

Luo Binghe blinks slowly at Shen Qingqiu; one - two pairs of eyelids! Fascinating! Then he turns once more, this dipping his head to look down and back at -

Ah. Belatedly, Shen Qingqiu understands, and then feels a rush of embarrassment at the fact that he had to be directed to look at Luo Binghe’s transformed heavenly pillar - pillars? There’s two of them down there?!! - to get it at all. Right. Of course Luo Binghe would assume that dual cultivation may not be an option in this form. 

…For being the former protagonist of a stallion novel, Luo Binghe is really, painfully vanilla at times! 

Shen Qingqiu coughs, his face warming.

“That - that’s also not an issue. For me.”

There’s a twitch at the bottom half of Luo Binghe’s body. 

…There really are two of them down there, ah!!

Shen Qingqiu flushes darker.

“It’s really no problem,” he says again. “It’s this master’s job to help when you need it. And -”

Shen Qingqiu cuts off, clears his throat, then clears it again.

“Well,” he eventually says. “Binghe was gone a long time.”

Slowly, Luo Binghe’s tail starts to wag again. 

“...It was far longer than three days,” Shen Qingqiu says, speaking mostly to the ground. “So, mathematically, it makes sense if perhaps what is done tonight is done in ‘double’ than usual, to make up for double the time -”

Gingerly, Luo Binghe catches the back of Shen Qingqiu’s robes between his teeth, picks up up, and carries him back to the bedroom.

[latenightdaydreams]

Hii i love your writing and was wondering if you could do king-eldritch!konig and human!reader(female)

I was thinking like maybe reader when to far in the beach and got kidnapped by king-eldritch!konig because he felt that reader is his mate and wanted her for himself but to complete the mating process they had to be intimate and he couldn’t do that because she had a human body

So he took her back to his kingdoms sea witch and had human!reader turn to a eldritch hybrid 🙀🙀🙀

Chat im fuming with this idea

-🧸

Hi! Thank you!! 🩷🩷

Eldritch!König x Reader (fem)

MDNI🔞

Master List✍🏽

>cw: fem/afab, kidnapping, almost drowning

1.1k word count

🐙

.

.

It’s a gloomy day at the beach, meaning few people are going to be there. You get dressed in your bathing suit with a small white dress over and walk down to the beach. Once there, you see a few older couples, so you walk down along the shoreline to the other end. The waves calmly roll in, the water feels cool over your feet. Unaware of eyes on you, you feel relaxed; a sense of tranquility washes over.

König watches you, not too far out from the shoreline. His curious eyes looking up and down the curve of your body. In all his time he’s seen plenty of humans, but you… you’re something spectacular. He follows you as you move. You’re totally oblivious to his presence.

You stop once you feel far enough away from everyone and take off your dress. The bikini you’re wearing barely covers any of your body. With slow steps, you walk into the water, letting your body get used to the temperature. You turn your gaze up towards the grey sky, enjoying the peace that surrounds you.

The tension in the air changes once you feel eyes on you. Slowly you look around, seeing if anyone is approaching the beach where you are, when you suddenly feel something on your feet. You jump back slightly and look down to see two tentacles inching their way to your ankles. When you look up, your eyes are met with two glowing eyes from under a black hood covering its face.

Fear washes over you as you notice the size of this creature. You’ve encountered octopus before, but never have you seen a creature like this one. Lifting your right foot, you attempt to step back, but the creature quickly grabs your leg. In a panic, you look around to see if there was anyone on the beach to assist you.

A tug and you fall on your back, a small pained groan leaves you. Before you can recover, the tentacles pull you into the water. Your fingers grasp at the sand and attempt to ground yourself and fight against it. Soon you’re forced to take a deep breath as you become fully submerged in the cold water.

König swims away with you, too tangled in his grip to break free. You aren’t a strong swimmer, yet you still try to swim away. The lack of air is getting worrisome, your thoughts turning dark as you feel this is how you die. Within a few seconds, you get light-headed before you eventually pass out.

When you come to, you’re lying on the rocky sand inside of a cave. Waves crash up on your feet as your eyes inspect the area. For a moment, you wonder if everything that just happened was a dream. Maybe you just slipped and floated out. That is until you look down at your legs and see the suction marks that cover your skin.

König reveals himself to you, he comes out from the water with a hood covering his face, only his eyes visible. He stands almost as tall as the cave, well over 15 feet, causing you to shiver in fear. His tentacles slithering to your body. They crawl up your legs and hold you down. You gaze up at him with wide eyes as he lowers himself down to get closer to you.

“Do not fear me, Kleine.” You hear a voice echo within your mind. “I’m König.”

His tentacles up your leg and pulls at the fabric covering your lower half. He pulls the fabric down to expose you to him. A low rumble leaves his body as his tentacles move up. You can feel his tentacle press against your pussy, causing your legs to twitch when he passes over your sensitive clit. He attempts to shove one inside of you, desperate to see every inch of you. A burning feeling happens, a pained wail leaves your lips as you close your eyes.

Once he realizes you’re in pain he withdraws. You’re too small. Your human body can’t take his size so there is no way you’d be able to carry his children like this. As he thinks, he caresses your body in an attempt to keep you relaxed.

“Es tut mir Leid, Kleine. I’ll fix this.”

“Fix what?” You say out loud.

The echo of his voice causes your head to ring with agony. Your hands go to the sides of your head, rubbing your temples in an attempt to calm your mind. König slips away back into the ocean.

You stand up and walk to the edge of the sand, looking out to see how far you are from the beach. As you gaze out across the water, you realize that there is no way that you could swim back yourself. The cave is deep, and you’re too fearful to explore further. Tears fall from your eyes as you sit in a fetal position.

Hours pass before you see the water moving. König beckons you near the water's edge. Hesitantly, you slowly stand and wipe the rest of your tears away. The small rocks under your feet are painful as you approach König.

A woman pokes her head out of the water next to König. She’s smaller, almost human size. Her skin is translucent and her eyes are almost a pale white. When she speaks, it causes goosebumps to form all over your body. The language is unknown to you but sounds like a calming melody.

Her cold hand reaches out and grabs you, pulling you closer to her. She looks deeply into your eyes, speaking in a soft voice, slowly lulling you into a trance like state. Inch by inch she pulls you into the water to join her. You aren’t in control of your body at this point.

In the water she brings you under, her word never stopping as she forces you to drink something. You take in the liquid as a full mouth of salt sea water. Your body struggles as your lungs attempt to take in a deep breath, but all you get is more water. This is how you die, drowning alone in the middle of the ocean. A sharp wave of pain travels throughout your whole being before you finally pass out, slowly drifting to the oceans floor.

 König watches over your body as you lie on a bed of soft plants, he made a while ago once he began his journey to find a mate. You look so beautiful, your new body is larger and will be able to take him and carry his offspring. While he is consumed with excitement and wants to wake you, he knows that the transformation took a lot out of you, so he just sits near and watches you. A small satisfied look on his face; finally, a queen.

[valkyriexo]

Invasion of Privacy | Ep. 8 -If the Shoe fits

ᑉ³SYNOPSIS; In the dazzling world of fame, you have it all—a beautiful home, devoted fans, and Chan, the love of your life. But when cryptic messages start arriving, the line between adoration and obsession blurs. With each note, you feel increasingly unsafe. Now, you're on a dangerous journey to uncover the truth before it's too late.

ᑉ³PAIRING; Chan x Idol! reader. Ft. Stray Kids

ᑉ³GENRE; Smau, FF , Angst, Hurt, Comfort, mystery

ᑉ³GENERAL WARNINGS ;Violence, Sasaeng (Stalker). Mentions of a knife, mentions of blood, Home invasion, cursing, Kissing, Pain, death, Implied female reader, Certain episodes may be Suggestive MDNI ᑉ³EPISODE WARNINGS : Violence, Sasaeng (Stalker). Mentions of a knife, Home invasion, cursing, Home invasion

EPISODE WORD COUNT; 7.9k Words

AUTHOR'S NOTE ; Thank you for joining me on this journey.<3 Your support and enthusiasm mean the world to me. I hope you've enjoyed the series as much as I've enjoyed creating it. I hope this is a resolution you'll enjoy... Happy season finale!!

If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Whether it's through comments, reblogs, or sending an ask, your feedback means the world to me. Remember, none of this is real. It is a story. It is fiction. You can choose not to read it if it will make you uncomfortable.

Master Post | Teaser | Suspect Cards

The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, peeking through the blinds. You blinked awake, feeling Chan's steady breathing beside you. The events of the previous night rushed back, and your mind immediately began to churn with thoughts of the gift, the unsettling letters, and Hyunjin.

You turned to see Chan still asleep, his face relaxed in peaceful slumber. You carefully slipped out of bed, not wanting to wake him just yet, making your way to the bathroom to freshen up.

After getting dressed, you quietly made your way to the living room. You glanced at the clock—it was early, but you needed to reach out to Hyunjin and Minho and get some answers.

You picked up your phone and sent a quick text to both of them, separately.

You quickly grabbed your things, ensuring you had the letters you took from Hyunjin's room and the box Minho had left last night.

You left a note for Chan, letting him know you’d be back soon and that you were heading out for a moment.

The early morning air was cool and crisp as you stepped outside. You made your way to the dorms, your mind racing with thoughts and questions.

When you arrived, you found Hyunjin and Minho waiting outside, each looking concerned. They seemed surprised to see each other.

“What are you doing here?” Minho asked, glancing at Hyunjin.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Hyunjin replied, frowning.

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, looking at Minho with mock suspicion. "First you try to take over my dorm. Now your following me everywhere, huh?"

Minho chuckled, shaking his head. "Please, I have better things to do than follow you around."

Hyunjin crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. "Could've fooled me. What's next? You going to start stealing my clothes?"

Minho sighed. "I don't have time for this. Can you leave? I have a private meeting with Y/N."

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. “No, I’m meeting with Y/N.”

You stepped between them before the tension could escalate. “Actually, I’m meeting with both of you.” They both looked at you, their expressions shifting from surprise to curiosity. “We need to talk about a few things and its important your both there."

Hyunjin and Minho exchanged glances before nodding in agreement. "Alright," Minho said, gesturing towards the entrance. "Let's go inside and talk."

Once inside, you were led into the living room, and Minho and Hyunjin sat next to each other, while you sat across from them.

You placed the box next to you, the letters hidden inside. You didn't know where else to start other than what you found in Hyunjin's room.

Hyunjin hesitated, glancing at you with a mixture of surprise and hurt. "You went through my things?" His voice was low, tinged with disappointment.

You swallowed, realizing your mistake. "I... I had to. After everything that's been happening, I needed to understand what was going on."

"You... read the letters, didn't you?"

You nodded, feeling a pang of guilt for invading his privacy. "I did... I'm sorry, Hyunjin. I had to understand what was going on."

Minho glanced between you and Hyunjin, sensing the need to clear things up. "What letters are you talking about?"

Hyunjin's expression was a mix of surprise and embarrassment, his cheeks faintly flushed as he glanced at Minho.

You took a deep breath, then reached into the box, retrieving the letters carefully. You handed them to Minho, who took them with a furrowed brow, his eyes scanning the elegant handwriting on the pages.

Hyunjin covered his face briefly with his hand, his embarrassment evident. "I can't believe you found those," he murmured, voice muffled against his palm.

Minho glanced up from the letters, his expression shifting from curiosity to concern as he realized the implications. "Hyunjin..."

You nodded quietly, understanding the weight of the moment. "I found them while trying to piece together everything that's been happening."

Hyunjin shifted uncomfortably under the collective gaze of everyone present.

"Hyunjin… youve been… helping Stay?"

Hyunjin glanced up, meeting your eyes with a mix of confusion and frustration. His earlier embarrassment now gave way to a defensive stance, his arms crossed tightly against his chest. "Helping STAY? No, I haven't been helping them," he replied firmly. "I've been trying to figure out who they are just as much as you."

Minho's eyebrows furrowed deeply, skepticism evident in his expression. He held the letters out towards Hyunjin. "Then how do you explain these letters, Hyunjin? They talk about your feelings for Y/N... your actions... What do you know? Who is STAY?!"

Hyunjin's eyes darted to the letters, his hands visibly trembling as he hesitated to take them out of Minho's hands. "I... I don't know," he stammered, his voice cracking under the weight of Minho's accusation. "I... I swear, I don't know who 'STAY' is. I've never met them," he insisted.

"What did you do?" you asked, your voice edged with concern.

Hyunjin remained quiet, his gaze fixed on the floor, clearly struggling to find the right words.

"You better start talking," Minho threatened, his tone sharp and demanding. He moved closer to Hyunjin, his frustration palpable.

Hyunjin swallowed hard, his jaw tightening. "I never wanted you to find out like this," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't know who STAY was. They... they found out about my feelings...and my drawings. They threatened to expose everything if I didn't do what they said. They would send me messages, telling me to put letters in specific places or go to certain locations.... I never knew what they were planning, but they made it clear they could ruin everything if I didn't cooperate."

Minho's frustration turned into disbelief mixed with anger. "So, you let yourself be blackmailed? You didn't think to come to me? Or any of us?!"

Hyunjin shook his head, his shoulders tense with guilt. "I was scared, Minho. I didn't want to drag you into this mess. I thought I could handle it on my own."

Minho paced back and forth, running a hand through his hair. "Handling it on your own nearly got all of us into deeper trouble," he muttered, more to himself than to Hyunjin.

You stood beside Minho, feeling torn between anger at the situation and sympathy for Hyunjin's predicament. "Hyunjin, why didn't you tell me?" you asked softly, trying to understand.

Hyunjin looked up at you, his eyes filled with regret. "I didn't want to lose your trust," he admitted. "I didn't want you to see me like this, or for us to lose our friendship."

Minho exhaled sharply, his features softening slightly as he glanced at you. "We need to figure out who STAY is," he said firmly, refocusing on the task at hand. "We can't let them continue to manipulate us."

"We?" You turned and looked at him. "We need to figure out who STAY is?"

Minho looked at you with confusion. "Yes, we. Why wouldn't I help you?"

"Oh yeah?" you replied in disbelief. "I think you've done more than enough helping."

"What are you talking about, Y/N?"

You pulled out your phone, navigating to the security footage from the previous night. "Last night, someone was at my door. I have it on camera."

As the video played, it showed a figure approaching your doorstep. The dim light revealed enough to identify Minho's distinct features.

Minho's eyes widened as he watched himself on the screen, caught in the act. He ran a hand through his hair, his face flushing with embarrassment and guilt. "I... I was there," he admitted quietly, avoiding your gaze.

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. "And seconds after you left, I received a text from STAY about the gift," you continued, showing him the message on your phone. "How do you explain that?"

"The box appeared on my bed with your name on it. I thought you had forgotten it there because you stayed at the dorm the night Seungmin went to the hospital. Maybe you had slept in my bed? I don't know… so I brought it over. I didn't open it or know anything about it."

You frowned, processing his explanation. It made sense, but .... did it?

"So you weren't involved with STAY at all?" you asked, wanting to clarify.

Minho shook his head vehemently. "No, I swear," he replied earnestly. "I had no idea about STAY or the letters. I just wanted to return the box because I thought it was a mix-up."

Hyunjin, who had been listening intently, spoke up cautiously. "Wait, so you didn't know about the text from STAY either?"

Minho looked genuinely surprised. "No," he said, "I had no idea. I just thought I was helping out."

"You better not be lying to me. So help me God...." you snap at him.

Minho's expression turned solemn as he met your gaze, his eyes reflecting a mix of hurt and determination. "I swear, I'm not lying," he insisted. "I didn't know anything about it. I was just trying to do what I thought was right."

You studied him for a moment, searching his eyes for any sign of deception. After a tense pause, you nodded slowly. "Alright," you said firmly, though the uncertainty still lingered. "Let's focus on finding out who STAY is. We need to put an end to this."

Hyunjin nodded in agreement, his earlier defensiveness now replaced with a shared sentiment. "We'll need to be careful," he cautioned, glancing between you and Minho. "STAY seems to know a lot about us."

"If we're going to work together, you have to be honest. What else do you two know? You can't hide anything from me. Who else received letters?"

Minho and Hyunjin exchanged a glance, silently communicating their shared concern. Minho spoke up first, his voice measured. "I... don't know who else received letters," he admitted, his brows furrowing with worry. "I didn't even know about these until now."

Suddenly the attention was suddenly diverted by the arrival of Felix.

"Good Morning everyone!" he said walking by. Then he hesitated, sensing the seriousness in the air. "Why's everyone so serious? Am I interrupting something?" Felix asked, looking around with curiosity.

"You're not interrupting," you said firmly, motioning for Felix to sit down. "Come. Lets chat."

Felix took a seat, his brow furrowing slightly at the atmosphere. "Okay... What's going on?"

"Felix, do you remember the day we went to the warehouse?" you say to him.

"Yes.. why?" he replied cautiously.

"Why did you show up there?" you said. Felix shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes darting around the room as he avoided direct eye contact. He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing visibly.

"Was there a letter telling you to go there?" you continued.

His fingers fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, twisting the fabric nervously. Felix's usual easygoing demeanor was replaced with a tense, uneasy energy. His shoulders were slightly hunched, and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other as if he wanted to get up and leave but was forcing himself to stay put.

"No... no letter," he said, his voice wavering.

You relaxed slightly, feeling a bit of relief. Maybe Felix was telling the truth. Maybe you could trust him and all his actions.

"I....I-I got a text," Felix added, his voice barely above a whisper.

Just kidding! He's a liar just like the others.

"OH?? SO FOR YOU THEY TOOK THE MODERN ROUTE," Hyunjin said with a bitter laugh. "I had to keep letters like we were fucking pen pals."

"You got a text?!" you exclaimed, your shock evident in your tone.

Felix nodded reluctantly, his gaze darting between you, Minho, and Hyunjin. "It just said to go to Y/N's house, that there was something she wanted to tell me."

You blinked, surprised by Felix's revelation. The implications sank in as you exchanged looks with Minho and Hyunjin, all equally puzzled by this new development.

"To my house?" you repeated, trying to process it.

"Yeah. That's when I saw all of you dressed in black heading out."

"Did you get any more texts after that?" you asked.

"No, I didn't. I didn't know anything else. That's when we went to the warehouse and we saw all of Hyunjin's things there. Which, by the way, why is he here if it's clearly him?" Felix said, his voice now tinged with suspicion.

"Excuse me?" Hyunjin said, his eyes narrowing. "Me? You're saying this is my fault?"

"Your camera was at the crime scene, your drawings were at the crime scene… two plus two definitely equals four," Felix shot back, his voice rising.

Hyunjin's frustration boiled over at Felix's accusation. His hands clenched into fists, ready to confront Felix, but Minho swiftly stepped in, holding Hyunjin back.

"Hey, calm down," Minho said firmly, his voice cutting through the rising tension.

"Felix, think about it," Minho continued, keeping a firm grip on Hyunjin's shoulder. "If Hyunjin was behind this, why would he be here trying to help us figure out who STAY is? He’s been manipulated just like the rest of us."

"He could be lying." He said.

Minho shook his head. "Maybe, but Hyunjin has an alibi. Right, Hyunjin?"

Hyunjin's face went pale, and he looked down, unable to meet anyone's gaze. The room fell silent, the tension palpable.

"Hyunjin?" you prompted, your voice a mix of concern and confusion.

Hyunjin swallowed hard, his voice barely above a whisper. "I… I was at the warehouse. But it wasn't what you think. STAY told me to set the stuff up for someone to view. I didn't know all of you would show up....." he said. "I thought I had more time to leave.... Then I saw someone chasing after me, so I ran."

"You?" you said, your voice barely above a whisper yet filled with disbelief. "It was you?"

Hyunjin froze, the weight of your words hitting him hard. He met your gaze, his expression a mix of guilt and remorse, knowing what would come next.

"You're the one who hurt Seungmin?" The question hung in the air, heavy with accusation and the need for clarity.

Hyunjin swallowed hard, his jaw tight as he struggled to find the right words. "I... I didn't mean for any of this to happen," he finally admitted, his voice strained with emotion. "STAY told me to set things up, but I never intended for anyone to get hurt... God I'm sorry..."

His eyes pleaded for understanding, but the pain in your heart overshadowed any immediate forgiveness. " Please dont tell any of this to Chan." he said quietly.

You took a step back, needing to distance yourself from the situation. The room felt suffocating, filled with accusations and revelations that shattered the fragile peace you had desperately clung to.

"I can't," you managed to say, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt. "I need to go."

Minho reached out, trying to stop you. "Y/N, please, we need to figure this out together. You can't just—"

You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. "I just... I can't right now," your tone final as you turned away, unable to bear the weight of their presence any longer. Your mind raced with unanswered questions and the painful realization that everything you thought you knew had been turned upside down.

Without another word, you took the box and hurried out of the dorm, the sound of their voices fading behind you, each one grappling with their own guilt and the devastating consequences of their actions. The truth had finally surfaced, but it had come at a cost none of them could have anticipated. The world outside seemed distant and surreal as you walked in the direction of your house.

You arrived home feeling utterly devastated. Every step felt heavier as you walked through the door, the familiar comfort of your home offering little solace in the face of betrayal and deceit.

Chan was in the living room, a wide smile spreading across his face as he saw you enter. "Good afteroon, Y/N!" he exclaimed cheerfully, his eyes bright with happiness. "Where did you disappear off to?"

You couldn't find the words to answer immediately. The truth threatened to spill out, but the pain was still too raw, too overwhelming to articulate.

"I just needed a breather," you replied with a fake smile. "Nothing too adventurous, I promise."

You collapsed onto the nearest couch. Chan's gaze shifted back to the box in your hands, his brow furrowing slightly. "What's in your hands there?" he asked gently, noticing your hesitation.

You looked down at the box in your hands and then back up at Chan with a small smile. "Just what I'm wearing for the date," you replied softly, hoping to steer the conversation away from the heavier thoughts weighing on your mind.

Chan's eyes widened slightly in surprise, his expression turning curious. "Oh, really?" he asked, his tone filled with interest. I've been looking forward to our date tonight. Are you excited?"

His enthusiasm was contagious, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to be swept up in his positivity.

"Yeah," you replied softly, managing a more genuine smile now. "I am. It'll be nice to just relax and enjoy some time together."

"That's great to hear. I can't wait." As he continued talking, his excitement filled the room. "I actually need to head out soon. I have a photoshoot in a few minutes," he explained apologetically, glancing at the clock. "But I'll meet you at the restaurant tonight, okay?"

Despite the heaviness in your heart, Chan's genuine enthusiasm lifted your spirits.

"Sounds perfect," you replied, grateful for his understanding and support. "I'll see you there."

Chan leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before heading towards the door. "Take care of yourself, Y/N. I love you."

With that, he left, his infectious positivity lingering in the air.

As Chan left, his words echoed in your mind. "I love you." The weight of those three words mingled with the sea of emotions you were feeling. You wanted to believe in the simplicity of his love, in the comfort it promised amidst the chaos.

But the truth you had just confronted threatened to overshadow everything. The betrayal, the deceit—it was a shadow you couldn't escape, even in Chan's loving embrace.

You set the box down on the coffee table, its contents a reminder of the tangled web of lies and secrets. With a heavy sigh, you sank deeper into the couch, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle over you.

Minutes passed like hours as you sat there, lost in thoughts that refused to quiet. The sound of Chan's departure lingered in the silence, leaving behind a hollow ache in your chest.

Eventually, you roused yourself, realizing that dwelling on the pain wouldn't change the reality you faced. Tonight's date with Chan loomed ahead.

With a mix of curiosity and defiance, you opened the box and pulled out the dress. The emerald green dress shimmered in the light.

Why this dress? Why did Stay want me to have it?

Running your fingers over the fabric, you decided to wear it, feeling a strange pull to engage with the mystery rather than shy away from it.

After a quick shower and a bit of makeup, you slipped into the dress, its smooth texture clinging comfortably to your figure. Standing before the mirror, you assessed the overall look. The dress seemed to carry an air of intrigue, as if it held secrets yet to be uncovered. It was as if by donning this dress, you were stepping into a role—a role that STAY had laid out for you.

You hailed a cab to La Lumière, an exquisite restaurant known for its luxurious ambiance and gourmet cuisine. The cab ride was a blur of thoughts and emotions, the dress's presence a constant reminder of the enigmatic message from STAY.

As you arrived at the restaurant, the evening sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the elegant facade of La Lumière. The valet greeted you with a smile as you stepped out of the cab, feeling a mixture of nerves and anticipation.

Inside, the restaurant dazzled with its crystal chandeliers, soft music, and the murmur of patrons enjoying their meals. The maître d' welcomed you warmly and escorted you to a table set in a secluded corner, overlooking a garden.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. As you settled into your seat, your eyes scanned the room, searching for Chan. Moments later, you spotted him approaching with a smile that softened the edges of your unease.

Chan approached you with confident strides, dressed in a tailored black suit that accentuated his broad shoulders and lean frame. The soft lighting of the restaurant's ambiance cast a subtle glow on his features. His dark hair was neatly styled, adding to his effortlessly sophisticated appearance.

"Y/N," Chan greeted you warmly, his eyes alight with affection as he took your hand in his. "You look absolutely stunning."

You couldn't help but return his smile, feeling a flutter of warmth in your chest at his compliment. "Thank you," you replied softly, the tension of the evening slowly easing in his presence. "I'm glad you think so."

Chan leaned in slightly, his gaze lingering on you with an affectionate glow. "I always think so," he murmured sincerely, his thumb gently brushing against the back of your hand.

You smiled at Chan's sincere words, feeling a sense of comfort and security in his presence. The ambient music and soft murmur of other diners seemed to fade into the background as you focused on him.

"How was your photoshoot?" you asked, trying to steer the conversation to lighter topics, at least for now.

"It went really well," Chan replied, his smile widening. "We got some great shots. I can't wait for you to see them. What about you? How was your day?"

You hesitated, not wanting to dive into the emotional morning you had been through. "It was... eventful," you said with a faint smile, hoping to keep things vague.

Chan seemed to sense your reluctance and didn't press further. Instead, he squeezed your hand gently and changed the topic. "I'm really glad we're doing this tonight. We both needed a break."

The waiter arrived to take your orders, and you both chose your meals with ease. As he left, Chan's eyes lingered on you, a tender expression on his face.

"You know," he said softly, "when I saw you tonight, it reminded me of why I fell in love with you in the first place. You just have this way of making my eyes light up whenever I see you.

You felt your cheeks warm at his words, a small smile tugging at your lips. "You're just saying that."

"No, I mean it," Chan insisted, his gaze steady. "You've become my heart, and I can't imagine my life without you. I love you more than words can express, and I want to spend every moment showing you just how much you mean to me."

You felt your heart skip a beat at Chan's heartfelt words, his sincerity washing over you like a warm embrace. His gaze held yours, unwavering and filled with a depth of emotion that mirrored your own feelings.

"I love you too, Chan," you replied softly, your voice laced with affection. "More than you know."

A tender smile spread across Chan's face, his eyes crinkling at the corners with happiness. He leaned in closer, his hand reaching across the table to gently cup your cheek.

The first course arrived, beautifully presented and enticing. As you both began to eat, Chan kept the conversation light, talking about funny moments from his photoshoot and sharing amusing anecdotes that had you laughing despite yourself.

"So, there was this one pose they wanted me to do," Chan said with an amused grin, leaning in to share the story. "I had to hold this giant lollipop for the shoot. The thing was, I kept dropping it. They must have brought me like 40 lollipops! It was like a curse or something. Every time I tried to strike a pose, down went the lollipop."

You giggled, imagining the scene. "I wish I could have seen that."

"Oh, there are pictures," Chan assured you with a grin. "I'm sure they'll surface eventually."

As the evening progressed, the conversation flowed naturally, moving from light-hearted anecdotes to deeper, more meaningful topics. Chan's presence was like a balm to your troubled heart, his warmth and care enveloping you in a sense of safety you had almost forgotten.

As dessert was served—a decadent chocolate fondant with vanilla ice cream—Chan leaned in, his voice soft. "Remember our first date? How nervous we both were?"

You smiled at the memory. "Yes, you kept knocking over your glass.,,, and dropping your fork"

"So did you! we both reached down and knocked out heads togehter under the table." he chuckled. "We've come a long way since then."

"Yeah instead of forks your dropping lolipops now," you said

"I guess some things never change," he said.

As the last bites of dessert disappeared and the evening began to wind down, Chan glanced at his watch with a slight frown. "I just realized, I left my laptop at the studio," he admitted, a hint of frustration in his voice. "I need to go back and get it."

You nodded understandingly, though a part of you felt a pang of disappointment that the evening was ending sooner than expected. "It's alright," you reassured him with a smile, trying to hide any hint of sadness. "I can take a cab home. Don't worry about it."

Chan's expression softened, and he reached across the table to squeeze your hand gently. "I'm really sorry," he apologized sincerely. "I didn't mean for our night to end like this."

"It's okay, really," you replied, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze in return.

With a lingering touch and a final exchange of affectionate glances, you both stood up from the table, ready to part ways for the night.

As Chan hailed a cab for you outside the restaurant, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions swirling within you—gratitude for the evening spent together, a lingering sadness that it had to end so abruptly, and a deep affection for Chan, whose presence had comforted you through the turmoil of the day.

As you settled into the backseat of the cab, Chan leaned in through the window, his warm gaze fixed on yours. "I'll call you as soon as I get home with the laptop," he promised softly, his voice filled with sincerity.

You nodded, a small smile gracing your lips. "Take care," you said, your voice betraying a hint of reluctance to part ways.

"I will," Chan replied with a gentle smile, his hand resting briefly on the window before he stepped back.

The cab pulled away from the curb, and you watched Chan's figure recede in the distance, a bittersweet feeling settling over you. As the city lights blurred outside the window, you reflected on the evening—the laughter, the heartfelt conversations, and the love you had for Chan.

Arriving home, you thanked the driver and stepped out onto the familiar street, the cool night air enveloping you.

As you approached your doorstep, your mind still lingering on the evening with Chan, you reached for the doorknob out of habit. To your surprise, it turned easily under your touch. You blinked, a flicker of confusion crossing your features. You never left the door unlocked—it was a simple precaution you always took.

Entering cautiously, your senses heightened, you scanned the living room. Everything seemed undisturbed, yet a feeling of unease lingered. The air felt charged, as if something had shifted in your absence. A soft rustling sound from the direction of the stairs drew your attention, setting your nerves on edge.

Your phone, suddenly, blinked out of existence, leaving you stranded in the dark room. You stared at it, praying it would come back to life.

But as seconds stretched on, it became painfully clear that your phone wasn't coming back. Its sudden death left you exposed, vulnerable to whatever dangers lurked in the shadows of your home.

Minutes tick by, each one stretching into an eternity as you strain to hear any sign of the intruder's presence. Your breath catches in your throat with every creak of the floorboards, every subtle shift in the air. The tension is palpable, suffocating, as you wait in the confined space of the closet, your heart pounding in your chest.

And then, just when you're starting to believe you imagined it all, you hear footsteps approaching. Each footfall reverberates through the floor, sending a shiver down your spine.

Your heart lurches into your throat as the closet door swings open, flooding the small space with blinding light. There they stand—the intruder—their eyes wild with fervor as they gaze down at you, cowering in the darkness.

"You're finally here," they breathe, their voice a mixture of awe and desperation. "I've been waiting for this moment for so long."

With trembling hands, you quickly move, darting past them as fast as you can and rushing into the kitchen. Your heart pounds in your chest as you grab a knife, the cold metal offering little help in the face of danger. "Stay back!" you yell out. "Dont come any closer."

But as you turn around, ready to defend yourself, you find the intruder standing in the doorway, their posture relaxed, almost casual, a mask covering their face.

The mask worn by the intruder is unsettlingly intricate. It's made of smooth, white porcelain, molded into a serene, almost doll-like face. The features are delicate yet haunting—the eyes hollow and dark, giving an impression of endless depth. Thin, painted lips are set in a neutral expression, devoid of emotion. The mask covers the entirety of the intruder's face, leaving no hint of their true identity behind its eerie facade.

"I see you wore the dress" they say suddenly.

You recongnize their voice. But why?

"Why are you here?" you manage to ask, your voice trembling despite your efforts to remain composed. You know you need to keep them talking, buying time to figure out who they are and what they want.

The intruder pauses for a moment as if considering their response. "I've come to ensure things are how they were supposed be," they finally reply, their voice carrying an eerie calmness that sends a shiver down your spine. They take one step closer.

You instinctively take a step back, your mind racing as you try to piece together the puzzle of their identity.

"Stay? Is that what you call yourself?"

The intruder remains silent for a tense moment, seemingly unmoved by your words.

"Why do you ask questions you already know the answers to?" they reply calmly, their tone sending a chill through your bones.

You continue to stall, hoping to glean more information that might help unravel this mystery. "What do you want from me?" you ask, your voice steadier now as you press for clarity.

The intruder's gaze behind the porcelain mask lingers on you for a moment longer, their expression inscrutable. "Everything," they say.

The intruder's laughter echoes in the room, a chilling sound that sends a shiver down your spine. It's a laugh you've heard before, but distorted by the mask and the eerie circumstances. As they laugh, you strain to place the familiar cadence, trying to ignore the fear creeping into your mind.

And then it clicks.

"Aera," you gasp, the name escaping your lips in a mix of disbelief and horror.

The laughter abruptly stops, replaced by an eerie silence that hangs heavily in the air. Aera stands before you, still masked and unnervingly composed, her gaze piercing through the porcelain facade.

"Why?" you manage to ask, your voice trembling as you struggle to comprehend the betrayal unfolding before you.

Aera removes the mask confirming your guess.

"Bingo," she mocks, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she echoes your earlier realization. "You finally figured it out."

Your heart sinks at her callous response, the sting of betrayal cutting deep. You struggle to comprehend her motives, the lack of empathy or regret hardening your resolve.

"You finally see me now, huh?" Aera's words carry a bitter edge, mocking and cold.

"See...you? What?" You stare at her, confusion furrowing your brow.

Aera's gaze hardens, her eyes narrowing with resentment. "You don't remember, do you?" Her voice drips with disdain. "No, of course you don't. You only cared about yourself."

Confusion clouds your thoughts as you try to recall any significant moments between you and Aera.

" We grew up in the same neighborhood, attended the same schools, and even shared dance and vocal lessons, " She said.

But your paths had rarely intersected beyond casual acquaintance.

"We weren't close," you finally manage to say, your voice tinged with uncertainty.

Aera scoffs, the sound cutting through the tension in the room. "Close enough for you to take everything I ever wanted," she retorts bitterly.

You struggle to comprehend her accusation. "What do you mean?"

Aera's bitterness spills over as she recounts years of shared aspirations and unspoken rivalry. "We were always competing, whether you realized it or not," she admits harshly. "I should've had your life. I went through the same programs, the same auditions."

You listen intently, the pieces of a long-forgotten puzzle starting to click into place. Memories of school performances, talent shows, and the buzz surrounding Aera's undeniable talent begin to resurface. She had always been the standout, the star trainee whose potential had drawn the attention of talent scouts.

"I was the star of our school," Aera continues bitterly, her words painting a picture of missed opportunities and unfulfilled promises. "Everyone knew about me. I had dreams of making it big, just like you.....And then JYP came," Aera says, her voice lowering as she recounts the turning point. "They were interested in me. They saw my potential, just like everyone else did."

The realization dawns on you as Aera's story unfolds. You rememember that day...

"But they signed you instead," Aera concludes bitterly, her gaze locked on yours with a mix of resentment and resignation. "They chose you over me."

...It was the day you met Zayne, your manager.

The weight of her words settles heavily on your shoulders. The twist of fate that had catapulted you into the spotlight while leaving Aera behind, despite her undeniable talent and years of hard work.

"I didn't know," you say softly, your voice filled with genuine remorse. "I didn't know it was supposed to be you."

Aera's expression softens slightly, her eyes reflecting years of hurt and longing. "You got signed," she continues bitterly, her voice tinged with resignation. "You became the biggest star. And then you met Chan."

"I met Chan when we were young," Aera explains, a hint of nostalgia softening her tone. "We hit it off immediately. He was the one I dreamed of building a future with. But then both of you got signed, became trainees for JYP, and everything changed."

Her words hang between you like an accusation, echoing the unspoken truth of lost opportunities and shattered dreams. Aera's gaze, once soft with nostalgia, now hardened with years of pent-up frustration.

"I watched as you both soared to heights I could only dream of," she continues bitterly, her voice trembling slightly with suppressed emotion. "Stray Kids, Chan, Zayne, everything that should have been mine."

"But why? Why do all this?" you say.

"Because, you conceeded little bitch, If I cant have this life then neither can you. You dont deserve it. I'm the onle who worked hard for it, I'm the reason why zayne was there in the first place." she said bitterly.

"So if its between the two of us, why bring all the members throught it. Hyunjin, minho, seungmin, they didnt deserve any of that."

"because they were all in love with you. Your everything to all of them..."

"And your nothing to anybody."

She is quiet. The room feels suffocating, the tension palpable as you both stand there, trapped in the aftermath of years of unspoken grievances. Aera's silence speaks of years of watching from the sidelines, of dreams shattered and hearts broken. It's a silence that speaks louder than any words could, revealing the depth of her feelings and the wounds that may never fully heal.

"I didn't recognize you," you whisper, the realization hitting you like a wave of regret. "When you became my assistant, I didn't see who you really were."

Aera stops in her tracks, her back still turned to you. The bitterness in her voice seeps through her words. "Of course you didn't," she scoffs softly. "To you, I was just another face in the crowd, someone who was supposed to fade into the background."

You struggle to find the right words, wanting to explain, to make amends somehow. "I didn't mean to overlook you," you say, your voice tinged with sorrow. "I was caught up in my own world, chasing after what I thought was success....I'm sorry," you say, the words feeling inadequate in the face of Aera's pain.

Her gaze softens momentarily, a flicker of resignation crossing her features. "It's too late for sorry now," she replies quietly. "You have what you wanted. Everything I thought should have been mine."

You struggle to find the words to respond.

Her eyes, once filled with hurt and bitterness, now narrow with determination as she launches herself into action.

With startling speed, Aera lunges forward, her fists a blur of motion aimed directly at you. You barely manage to block her initial strikes, the impact jolting you backwards. The fight intensifies as you desperately parry her relentless assault, each blow ringing out like a bell in the confined space.

In a desperate move, Aera maneuvers you towards the cupboards, her strength and determination surprising you. With a powerful shove, she sends you crashing into the wooden cabinets, the impact reverberating through your body. Pain shoots through your back as the force knocks the wind out of you.

Gritting your teeth against the pain, you push back with equal fervor. Adrenaline courses through your veins, fueling your determination to end the confrontation. You muster every ounce of skill and agility, countering Aera's attacks with precision and ferocity.

The room echoes with the clash of bodies and the sound of splintering wood as the fight rages on. Sweat beads on your brow, mingling with the sting of exertion. Aera fights with a fervor fueled by years of resentment and perceived injustice, her strikes relentless and focused.

The battle with your emotions was just as intense as the physical struggle with Aera. You didnt want to hurt her. But you had to defend yourself. You knew you had to make a choice, the knife you had grabbed earlier gleaming in the kitchen light.

But before you can make a decision, you hear the distant wail of sirens approaching, the sound a stark reminder of the danger lurking just beyond your doorstep.

She flinches at the sound, her eyes darting towards the door with a mix of fear and resignation. For a moment, the facade of confidence slips, revealing the vulnerable girl beneath.

"I have to go," she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I'll be back. I promise."

And with that, she turns and begins to run as fast as she can towards the back door. With a swift motion, she disappears into the night, leaving you alone in the darkness, the echoes of her words lingering like a haunting refrain.

As tears stream down your cheeks, you step back, your slowly back banging against the cupboard, and you slide down onto the floor, overwhelmed by a flood of emotions. The events of the night felt like a nightmare, each moment etched into your memory with vivid clarity.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, and in rush Chan, Changbin, and Minho, their faces a mix of concern and panic. Chan's eyes widen in alarm as he spots you on the floor, and he rushes towards you, dropping to his knees beside you.

"Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?" he bombards you with questions, his voice trembling with worry as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close.

You bury your face in Chan's chest, seeking comfort in his embrace as you try to steady your breathing.

Changbin and Minho hover nearby, their expressions mirroring Chan's concern as they scan the room for any signs of danger.

Before you can respond, the sound of heavy footsteps of approaching police officers fill the room.

Their voices loud and authoritative as they demand to know what's going on. For a moment, there's chaos as the officers mistake Chan, Changbin, and Minho for the intruders, their hands moving to their holsters in anticipation of danger.

But you quickly intervene, your voice shaky but firm as you clarify that they're your boyfriend and friends, not the ones who broke into your home. The tension in the room dissipates as the officers realize their mistake, and they quickly shift their focus to ensuring your safety and apprehending the real intruder.

Trembling in Chan's embrace, you find the courage to speak up, your voice still quivering with fear.

"Stay" you whisper.

"Of course baby...Im not going anywhere" he replies as his hand runs through your hair.

"No.. Stay," you repeat.

"Stay.......- Oh my God." He says, the words finally clicking. " They were here?"

You nod your head. He could not do anything more then stare at you in disbelief.

"I was so scared, Chan. I didn't know what to do." You recount the events of the night, the sense of violation still fresh in your mind.

"It was Aera," you whisper, the words tumbling out in a rush. "She broke into the house... She knew everything about me, Chan. It was like she was obsessed. Not only with me, but with you.... She was in love with you"

Chan's grip tightens around you, his expression darkening with anger and concern.

"That explains the letters…" Chan murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, his words hanging in the air as he tries to make sense of the connection.

"..What letters?" you say quietly.

"They were addressed to me, but they… they felt like love letters. Like someone was watching me, wanting something more…"

"Chan... you got letters and didn't tell me?" you say.

Chan sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I didn't think much of them," he admits, his voice tinged with regret. "They seemed harmless—compliments, admiration, nothing threatening."

Suddenlt, Two officers enter the kitchen area, their expressions serious yet professional. One introduces herself as Officer Jin, while her partner, Officer Kang, takes note of the surroundings.

"Thank you for coming," Chan says.

Officer Jin nods, her gaze shifting between you and Chan. "Can you please tell us what happened tonight?" she asks, her tone gentle yet authoritative.

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself to recount the events. "I.. got home and the door was unlocked," you begin, your voice steady despite the lingering unease. "I thought it was an intruder, so I texted Chan."

You continue. "I hid in the closet.. but they found me anyways. It was Aera.. my assistant. She had broken in. " he explains, his brow furrowing with concern. "She seemed... unstable."

Officer Kang scribbles notes in his pad, his expression focused as he listens intently. "Did she say why she was here?" he prompts, his eyes flicking up to gauge your reactions.

"She mentioned something about wanting what I have," you answer, recalling Aera's bitter words with a shiver. "She seemed fixated on the idea that my life should have been hers."

Officer Jin nods thoughtfully, her expression sympathetic. "And did she threaten you in any way?"

You hesitate, the memory of Aera's unsettling presence vivid in your mind. "She attacked me." you respond quietly.

His brow furrows ever so slightly, a shadow of concern darkening his features. You notice his jaw tighten, a telltale sign of his anger.

"I tried to defend myself... But she only stopped when we heard the sirens. Then she ran out the backdoor." With that, one of the other officers immediently left towards the backdoor.

Chan's gaze softens, his thumb gently wiping away your tears as he pulls you closer.

"Im sorry you had to go through that. In the meantime, we'll increase patrol in your area and provide you with a direct line to reach us if anything else happens."

You nod gratefully, feeling a sense of relief knowing that the authorities are taking the situation seriously. As the officers continue to ask detailed questions and jot down notes, Chan remains by your side.

You thank the officers and they leave, leaving you alone in the house with the other 3 boys. Chan pulls you into a tight embrace, whispering words of reassurance and comfort in your ear.

And in that moment, surrounded by the warmth of his embrace and the support of your friends, you begin to feel a glimmer of hope that you'll be able to put this terrifying ordeal behind you.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight tonight," he says, his tone firm yet gentle. "You're coming with me. I'll pack a bag for you." He moves to get up, but you cling to him tighter, the thought of being separated from him filling you with a deep sense of unease.

"Please, don't leave me," you plead, your voice barely above a whisper.

Chan's expression changes, his eyes reflecting the depth of his love and concern for you. "Okay..I won't, I promise," he assures you, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.

With a sense of urgency, he gestures to Minho, who understands what is being asked of him.

Minho nods silently, understanding the gravity of the situation, and hurries off to gather your belongings. Meanwhile, Chan remains by your side.

As he returns with the bag packed, Chan helps you to your feet, his touch gentle yet reassuring. "Let's go," he says softly, his voice filled with determination.

With trembling limbs, you follow Chan out of the house, your heart racing with a mixture of fear and gratitude. But as his hand finds yours, intertwining your fingers together, you find solace in the warmth of his touch.

You get into the car, Changbin in the driver's seat, Minho in the front, and you and Chan in the back. You lean on Chan's shoulder as the car moves forward, finding comfort in his presence.

Your ready to put all this behind you. You allow yourself to close your eyes and rest.

Buzz

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[rotisserory]

Reo Mikage is Actually Great BPD Representation- Some Thoughts

So I had the extremely unfortunate experience of being exposed to Blue Lock (unfortunate because it's all my tiny pea brain can think about now), and while it is absolutely full of silly guys whose brains I want to pick, this little bugger really stood out to me. The second he came onto the screen, I KNEW I smelled the borderline on him. As I watched the series and read the manga, I noticed he is actually an incredibly well-written depiction of someone struggling with BPD. Reo is a super layered character and my favorite hobby is picking apart those layers and yapping incessantly about them, so here we are. I want to write this analysis for a few reasons:

1.) Too many people misunderstand Reo and categorize him as dramatic or childish without any elaboration and he deserves a proper character deep-dive. I think him being borderline explains a LOT of his reactions/choices throughout the story.

2.) Borderline representation is extremely important to me. I'm diagnosed borderline and have struggled with this disorder for around ten years now, so I get really excited when I spy BPD-coded characters (especially if they're likable people and not just ghoulish irredeemable villains or manic pixie dream girl characters). This disorder can be so isolating, especially when the majority of people will never even bother to research or understand it. I know that some people like to chalk Reo's emotional reactions up to him being a moody 17-year-old, but I think I have enough evidence to prove that this is undiagnosed BPD that's festering in his noggin. Not to mention, literally nobody else acts like this in the series. Reo is incredibly unique and distinct in the way he behaves through this narrative and I think it's way past the point of normal teenage angst. Regardless, believe what you want. He'll always be my borderline princess tho <3

3.) I have a master's degree in English and what good is that if I don't write long, painful, pointless essays on anime guys? Not that this is exceptionally well written, I just like to laugh at myself for getting a whole M.A and then this is the shit I publish online lmao

By the end of this, I hope I can shed some light on wtf is going on inside of Reo's silly little head. (I'm also obviously not a psychologist, don't use any of this to diagnose yourself pls I don't need the scandal)

If you want to read, buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one!

First, let me define BPD- It's a personality disorder characterized by a long-standing pattern of instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image. At its core, it is a disorder categorized by emotional dysregulation (the inability to regulate one's emotional responses) People with BPD feel everything EXTREMELY hard. That's important to keep in mind IMO, because while their reactions may seem dramatic or extreme, what they're feeling IS dramatic and extreme. Everything they're feeling is amplified, so their reactions are amplified. Obviously from the outside, people assume it's an overreaction since they can't see what's going on inside the borderline's head. When you sit down and dissect the thought process of someone like Reo, it becomes a lot easier to understand why they react the way that they do to certain situations.

(Also, I'm not going to reiterate more than once that an explanation is not an excuse to treat people poorly. I cannot read ANYTHING on BPD without hearing every 2 minutes how the disorder isn't an excuse to hurt other people. We get it!! I'm explaining it, not excusing it. This enter essay is an analysis of why someone acts the way they do, not whether or not it's excusable)

So then, what behaviors/signs does somebody need to exhibit to receive a borderline diagnosis? The 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD are as follows:

1. Fear of abandonment

2. Unstable or changing relationships

3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self

4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors

5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury

6. Varied or random mood swings

7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness

8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights

9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality

Someone would only need 5 of these to receive a proper diagnosis. Just with the main story and the spin-off manga that is currently released, I think I have enough evidence to argue that Reo has 8 out of 9 criteria for a BPD diagnosis. For the sake of organization, I’m gonna group some of those together though, indicated by a + symbol. I also want to define a few important terms before I start yapping, so that y'all without BPD can understand wtf I'm even talking about.

Favorite Person (fp) - This is someone who holds massive significance in a borderline's life. They emotionally depend on this person a lot and to a certain extent, their worldview almost revolves around them.

Splitting- the change in perception of someone or something caused by black-or-white thinking or dichotomous thinking. It is the devaluation of someone who was once idealized and vice versa.

Mirroring (aka: the chameleon effect)- the constant, unconscious change in one's identity or sense of self by imitating another person’s behaviors, characteristics, or traits. It is common in people who have a vacant or distorted self-image which is a general symptom of BPD.

Now, time for me to break down the most prominent moments where Reo showcases borderline behavior. As I mentioned, I'm going to try and organize this under each criteria point (with some being grouped together)

Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self:

Before I delve into Reo's relationships, I want to start with his baseline sense of identity. It’s established early on that Reo is a very bored, empty, unsatisfied person. Nothing excites him, nothing motivates him, and everything is handed to him. He’s frustrated because his parents notoriously try and buy his affection even though he doesn't want anything. For most of his life up until the narrative starts, he's wandering through life empty and frustrated. That is, until he finally sets his sights on soccer and decides to dedicate his life to winning the World Cup:

The wording, 'proves my existence' is interesting here. I think this is the first instance Reo has felt alive. So far, the only notable thing about him has been his family and his money. He hasn't achieved anything exceptional for himself, but now he has that opportunity. With this goal, he can really build something up from nothing and make it his own. It's almost like he's clinging to this dream to prove that he has some purpose in his life other than being the family heir.

Now, this dream changes when he meets Nagi, of course. I'm not gonna focus too much on their relationship in this section, but I will mention that meeting Nagi shifted Reo's entire dream, and not for the better. Through the narrative, his dream went from:

Winning the World Cup

Winning the World Cup with Nagi

Proving to Nagi that leaving him behind was a mistake

Improving himself and becoming a good striker on his own

Being a tool for Nagi to become the best striker

Had Nagi not come in and ask for Reo to come back to him, I think Reo could have done a great job at establishing his own sense of identity without Nagi. But no matter how much he works on himself, with Nagi in the picture, he's never going to value himself more than Nagi. Reo lets Nagi cloud his identity to the point where Isagi calls him out and asks what he's even doing at Blue Lock in the first place, since he clearly can't survive on his own, he needs Nagi with him.

After dealing with the turmoil of being abandoned by Nagi, Reo goes through a few stages. He starts with wanting to become somebody worthy of being beside Nagi, somebody that Nagi would want to choose. Devoting himself to becoming stronger and more versatile, his end goal is to have Nagi realize he made a mistake by leaving him behind. After a few more matches, Reo starts to realize that he needs to grow and change and become a stronger, better version of himself for himself and not for other people.

He decides that the fight was all his fault to begin with, that he should have never forced Nagi to play soccer and now he is going to get back to what his dream was originally, combined with his new desire to be a stand-alone player (and person, for that matter). Reo accepts the mistakes that he made, admits that he shouldn't have forced his ideals onto Nagi, and resolves to become a better person for HIMSELF. That's excellent!

Of course, Reo can't be happy for TOO long. Nagi comes out of the woodwork saying that he can't beat Isagi on his own and asks for Reo's help. Reo does stand up for himself a bit, saying that Nagi is being inconsiderate of his feelings and mentioning how long it took for him to recover from Nagi leaving. Now, the BPD trait here is how Reo not only forgives Nagi and is jumping on him and hugging him THE NEXT PAGE, but he also just disregards everything he said in this sequence. In a matter of two minutes, he no longer wants to be a player that can fight on his own or improve for himself, he wants to improve for Nagi. He starts ruminating again about how hurt he was when Nagi left, but now he's saying all of it wasn't so that he could get stronger individually, it was so that he could be reunited with Nagi again. Nagi asking for his help and saying that now they can play together again motivate Reo more than anything we've seen so far. (Nagi notoriously throws Reo little affection crumbs like this that Reo eats up, but I'm not trying focus on that) Now, Reo's alright with being a tool for Nagi's success again. Everything that happened was supposed to make him stronger so he could be a better partner to Nagi, right? Reo also says as the chapter ends, to please let him be a part of Nagi's dream until Nagi becomes the world's best striker. That's literally so sad!

He's also immediately back to the 'our' 'we' 'us' talk as well. If he can master his chameleon style in order to keep Nagi above the rest of the players, he wont get left behind again. If he devotes his time and energy into being a solo striker like the rest of these guys, Reo knows that he wont be able to keep up. This was always supposed to be his role, right? Building Nagi up to his full potential! :*)

I also like the detail that Reo is back to hugging Nagi and holding him, but Nagi never really touches him back. I think Reo's love language is touch for sure, not that it's incredibly relevant, but I do think it shows that Reo is back to being 100% comfortable around Nagi as if their fight never happened. I hear a lot of fans asking how Reo could have forgiven Nagi so easily, and I say this with my entire chest, it's the BPD. The black-and-white thinking combined with Nagi being Reo's fp and the excruciating pain of being abandoned by him in the first place ?? Of course he's going to take him back. Also, I've seen people blame Reo for not saying no to Nagi when he asks for help and I have to say that is an absolutely insane take. How are we gonna look at a panel where Nagi asks for help and then blame Reo for helping him?? I'm not going to focus on it too much in this post but in my opinion, it is crazy how little accountability both the narrative + fans give Nagi. Reo is pegged as responsible for both of their downfalls and it's nuts tbh.

Currently in the story, I think Reo's identity is still centered around Nagi. It's really easy for borderlines to structure their entire lives and personalities around their favorite person, but I can only hope that these two keep having open and honest discussions with one another. Hopefully, Reo will eventually learn that he can exist without Nagi and that he's more than just 'his arms and legs'.

Unstable or Changing Relationships:

The most notable relationship in Reo's life is Nagi. They're both each other's first real friends, which already sets up a less-than-ideal dynamic. Nagi has no idea how to communicate and he has pretty weak emotional intelligence. On the other hand, Reo is great at communicating, but he isn't used to regulating his emotions. For a lot of borderlines, they can go a very long time without experiencing any symptoms when they don't have a favorite person. When you think about it, the bulk of the disorder is shown through those interactions with other people. If Reo has never had a real friend in his life, I don't think he'd be used to the emotional turmoil that comes with having a fp.

The minute Reo meets Nagi, he's attached. All his classmates notice it, too. They question why Reo is suddenly so obsessed with this random kid who has no interest in him. Reo is ignoring everybody that isnt Nagi.

Very quickly, Reo boils down his view of the world to being him and Nagi versus everybody else, and he makes that very clear. It also depicts something that I think is incredibly crucial to Reo’s character that a lot of people overlook; as Nagi develops to be Reo’s favorite person, Reo’s dream isnt ‘playing soccer’ anymore. It’s Nagi. It’s being with Nagi, playing soccer with Nagi, being useful to Nagi, taking care of Nagi, and being somebody important to Nagi. He doesnt teach Nagi the rules or how to actually play, he teaches Nagi how to play with him. He literally re-writes and re-structures the game so that it can center around him and Nagi. Nagi calls him out on this in the spin-off manga:

Reo doesnt care about the structure of the game, he cares about Nagi. The other people on the field don't matter. The other team doesn't matter. He also starts to unknowingly put Nagi up on a pedestal, which is another borderline trait. He starts reiterating that Nagi is special, he's different from everybody else, he's destined to achieve great things. The more he raises Nagi up, the more he isolates the two of them in his mind, reiterating the idea that it's them against everybody else. His language reflects this too: Reo exclusively talks with 'us' 'we' 'our', insinuating that they're going to do everything together.

When Ego says that there can't be two winners, Reo says that he'll make Nagi the best striker. His 'ego' will be making Nagi successful. Along with putting Nagi on this pedestal, Reo also very early on establishes the fact that he'd pick Nagi over himself any day of the week. He's the only person in Blue Lock who really couldn't care less about becoming a striker himself: his dream is to be a tool in Nagi's success. Or, in simpler terms, he wants to be useful and make Nagi happy.

These two were in trouble from the very beginning. Nagi is lazy as all hell, has 0 motivation to do anything, and his dream is to live a life of luxury and never have to work. Reo, being the borderline baddie that he is, is more than happy to do EVERYTHING for Nagi. Borderlines love extremely hard! It's one of our best traits and I think it's important to showcase that Reo is a massive sweetheart at his core. He clearly loves Nagi a lot and goes to extreme lengths to make sure he feels taken care of. To someone with BPD, NOTHING is too big of an ask for a person they love, especially if that person is their fp. I also disagree with the argument that Reo 'made' Nagi codependent. Nagi likes being taken care of, he says it all the time. If you ask me, I would actually argue that Nagi takes advantage of Reo a little bit because he knows that Reo will do anything for him. But regardless, I think that Reo starts to develop an unspoken expectation with Nagi that he'll provide him with everything he needs, and in turn, Nagi will stick around. I don't think he's doing this intentionally, nor do I think it's being done in a manipulative way. I just think that Reo has a dormant fear of being abandoned that he doesn't totally know he has yet.

It isn't just Nagi that Reo showcases having unstable relationships with, though. Zantetsu is another good example. Reo starts out disliking Zantetsu, he snaps at him a couple times, and calls him a moron more than once. He starts to warm up to him because Nagi tells him to. The favorite person has MASSIVE sway in the borderline's life. If Nagi likes someone, Reo likes them too. (This is, of course, on the condition that they aren't a threat, looking at you Isagi).

In the immediate next chapter, Reo is acting like they're all best friends. He's climbing on top of them in their big bed, saying that the three of them are gonna win their matches, being a little pookie. He goes from not liking this guy at all to considering him one of his close friends super fast. Also on the topic of Isagi, when they're making up the teams for the second selection, Nagi doesn't initially want to tell Reo that he wants Isagi on their team bc he's worried Reo will be upset. But, when he does finally say it, Reo is literally fine with it because like I said, who Nagi likes, Reo likes! On the condition that they don't replace Reo, which clearly happened soon after.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Reo also shows how he can go from loving someone to despising him very quickly. After Chigiri and Kunigami tell him to get back up in the game post-Nagi's abandonment, we can literally see the switch flip in Reo's head:

Suddenly, he hates Nagi. Nagi's a jerk who abandoned him; he never cared about him, and he threw him away. Dude literally says "Let's kill the bastards that betrayed us". This act of unintentional devaluing is called splitting. What Reo's essentially doing is going from one extreme to the other: if Nagi isn't his perfect treasure, he's the devil that broke his heart. There's no room for a grey area. The reasoning behind borderline's developing this black-and-white mindset is rooted in self-defense. If Reo devalues Nagi into being nothing more than a traitor, then he's stripping away the power that Nagi has to hurt him. If he looks at him like a rival or a villain, it's protecting him from being hurt by Nagi again.

That doesn't mean that he genuinely believes any of this, more so, he's trying to convince himself that it's true. We see that at his core, the reason he's acting like this is because he's hurt. I'll go more into it later on, but he's constantly thinking, what does Isagi have that I don't? What do I have to do in order to win Nagi back? This black-and-white thinking is an automatic self-defense mechanism that I think he's doing subconsciously. Regardless, the shifting he's doing here can cause a little whiplash, which brings me to:

Varied or random mood swings + Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights:

I can’t think of a better way to describe Reo's temperament than the wiki, so let me quote it: "Generally, he seems to feel every emotion with full force and is extremely aware of his own faults and shortcomings, which is evident in several instances of painful breakdowns shown in the spin-off manga. Due to his high emotionality, he can even get violent when he loses his temper."

Reo is characterized as being emotionally unstable. When he's happy, he's elated! When he's sad, he's miserable. There are a ton of scenes between the manga and spin-off manga that show how fast his emotions can flip, but this one was one of my personal favorites:

In this scene, Reo has developed a little scheme in the dining hall where the guys are trading their side dishes. At face value, a throwaway moment. But, I think it's worth looking at because not only does this show Reo's emotional response being triggered in an opposite, semi-extreme direction, but the root cause for the reaction was that he felt rejected by Zantetsu. In his own weird way, he's asking Zantetsu to come over and hang out with him. He's not being exceptionally clear with that message, but I can still pick up on it. "You wanna join in, don't you?" He's extending the invite, making himself vulnerable, and Zantetsu shoots him down by saying nah, I'm fine with my noodles. Reo JUMPS on him like YOU KNOW WHAT? I TOOK THAT PERSONALLY! lol. Jokes aside, I think this moment is a great one to argue Reo's BPD tendencies because it's such a seemingly mundane interaction. Even Zantetsu is surprised by Reo's random outburst. This also sets up the fact that one of Reo's most obvious triggers is being rejected/abandoned/betrayed, an extremely common one between those of us with BPD.

Other instances of Reo having a bad temper are a lot more obvious. In the match against teams V and Z, Reo straight up elbows Raichi in the throat, and then tries to go throw hands with Kuon for hurting Nagi. He only stops because if he gets into any more fights, he’ll get thrown out of the game and won't be able to play with Nagi anymore. He’s visibly pissed though and calls Team Z a joke. Hell, even Reo himself can recognize on a certain level that he can't control his emotions: they control him. They cloud his judgment and make him react in ways that he wish he didn't.

He is constantly plagued by these extreme emotional reactions that are out of his control. Not to say that people with BPD are unable to ever control their emotions, because we can! It takes time and therapy and practice though, which Reo hasn't had. His lack of regulation is also why he has such a dramatic and extreme meltdown when Nagi abandons him.

Fear of Abandonment:

Reo's biggest trigger and the cause of his inner turmoil throughout Blue Lock is his fear of abandonment. I mentioned before that I think he's had this fear dormant inside of him for a while as so many borderlines do, since he hasn't had the chance to experience it before. He alludes to it early on when they first arrive at Blue Lock:

The thought of leaving Nagi for somebody else? Reo considers that heartless. They came together, after all. They're going to win the world cup together. Nagi could break both of his legs and Reo wouldn't leave him, because again, Reo isn't there to team up with the best player and become the best striker in the world: he's there to play with Nagi!! And, like I said, in Reo's mind it's him and Nagi vs everyone else-

Reo exhibits a lot of signs early on of being jealous while they're playing in Blue Lock. I mean, as we discussed, everything should be focused around him and Nagi. When Nagi passes to Zantetsu in the team V and Y match, Reo pulls up like 'hey, why didn't you pass it to me?? ):' There are a lot of little moments like that, but Reo's jealousy is a lot more relevant to my argument after he gets abandoned by Nagi.

Let's talk about that word: abandoned. It seems dramatic, right? Reo uses that term constantly and exclusively. Every time he brings that moment up, he uses the word 'abandoned', or he'll say 'betrayed' or 'chose'. These are very definitive words. He’s not saying Nagi ditched him or flaked on him or blew him off, no; he has abandoned him. That word choice may seem disproportionate to the situation, but that's Reo's reality. This was the ultimate betrayal to him. The constant use of that vocabulary reiterates that in Reo's mind, there is no grey area. Either Nagi chooses him, or he chooses someone else. In choosing someone else, he abandons Reo. Reo is paranoid that Nagi isn't ever going to come back to him and it's because of something that Reo is lacking. How can Nagi like Isagi more than him, anyway?

Now, I do fault Nagi a bit for not communicating better at that moment. I understand that he's bad at communication, but I don't think Reo could have been more obviously upset if he tried. The dude was in TEARS. Nagi saw him devastated and then expected everything to be fine when he met him in the bathhouse? Idk. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't realize it would upset Reo to such an extreme: maybe he thought that they would miss each other, but Reo wouldn't take it personally. I'm doing my best not to harp on Nagi since this is about Reo.

Abandonment is detrimental to people with BPD. It causes extreme inner turmoil that we see with Reo as the story progresses because it is the only thing he can think about. If he isn't trying to cover up his hurt feelings with this idea of revenge, he's self-destructing over being abandoned. He becomes obsessed with wondering why Nagi chose Isagi over him. Was there something wrong with him? Isagi isn't that impressive, why would Nagi rather be with him? These thoughts torture him endlessly and fuel his desire to 'steal' Nagi back. He literally says to Isagi, that he's going to steal Nagi back. Much to his dismay though, Reo starts to notice that Isagi is bringing out some positive traits in Nagi. Nagi's entire vibe is different with Isagi. Nagi is having fun playing soccer without Reo. In fact, he's having more fun. He's making plays he's never made before. His face is visibly different; he's more excited than before.

This is heartbreaking for Reo. Not only was he right that Isagi did have something to offer Nagi that he couldn't, but Reo is having a massive self-hate spiral during this point as well, so he's internalizing all of his flaws and mistakes while the thought is sitting in the back of his head: did Nagi actually have a good reason for abandoning me? Was I not enough to satisfy him? Did I only drag him down? This gets significantly worse the longer he watches Nagi and Isagi play:

Everything is falling apart. Nagi is doing completely fine without Reo, and Reo is an absolute mess. We're circling back to Reo's lack of identity here as well. He's watching firsthand that he's losing Nagi to Isagi: what does he do? What happens to him if he loses Nagi, who is he without Nagi? He's overwhelmed during this match and at one point Reo literally screams that he's going to tear apart their connection. Jealousy is consuming him, but it's also those feelings of inferiority and wondering if he really did deserve to be abandoned. If Nagi is so happy without him, maybe he really did have a reason. These are the thoughts that are circling around in Reo's head. Not to mention, he is constantly tortured by the flashbacks of Nagi leaving him, which I think is a great detail. Some readers might say it's just pointless recapping but I disagree, I think it's depicting how traumatic that was for Reo. As a borderline, being abandoned by your fp IS traumatic. Reo relives that moment so many times because so many things trigger it for him throughout Blue Lock. He can't even look at Chigiri and Kunigami without thinking about him and Nagi. It's a really devastating experience that quickly deteriorates him emotionally.

Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness + Suicidal behavior or self-injury:

One of my favorite things about Reo is the fact that he is self-aware that he's behaving somewhat irrationally, but he doesn't know how to stop. When we look at one of the several times that Reo is curled up crying over Nagi, he mentions how he really did want to tell Nagi to go and have fun, but he didn't. He couldn't. The visuals shift for this too:

Reo doesnt want to be acting this way, but he can't help it, and that's frustrating to him. It makes him start feeling ashamed of himself. His inner thoughts start to spiral and he feels weak and alone. He's reflecting here on what his true feelings really were at that moment, and how scared and lonely and weak he felt as a result of Nagi leaving him behind.

These feelings quickly evolve into Reo feeling worthless and falling into bouts of self-hatred. He's so ashamed of the way he's feeling and behaving but it feels so out of his control. He says, "maybe if I hadn't gone to Blue Lock in the first place, I wouldn't have to experience this feeling." As I said before, borderline's feel things EXTREMELY intensely; the disorder is described as living with third-degree burns all over your body. Everything hurts. His feelings are so intense and all-consuming right now, it's all he can think about:

I saw some posts in the fandom reddit asking why Reo is acting like this. One in particular reads: "I get that he is betrayed and stuff but he is acting like it’s the end of the world, is it explained later why he acts like this? Is it because he doesn’t think he can win without Nagi?" Not to call this person out, I just want to answer the question in this post-

It has nothing to do with winning; it was never about winning. It was always about Nagi.

If we're looking at Reo through the borderline lens, it IS the end of the world for him. Nagi was his world. What's worse, he's fully aware that he's not acting rationally and he doesn't know why, which is making him feel ashamed and weak and embarrassed. Now I know why he's acting like this, but there are no Blue Lock psychiatrists sitting around to wack him with the mood stabilizers or the DBT handbook, so he's gonna stay feeling like a monster.

He lets these thoughts, along with the resentment and anger from being abandoned in the first place, fuel him for the second selection match. As he's watching the game play out, as Nagi is about to score the winning goal, Reo's mind starts racing with intrusive, negative thoughts.

He's praying that Nagi fails, that he gives up, that he stops trying, anything to stop that solidifying moment where he scores the winning goal and proves once and for all that not only was Reo not strong enough to stop him, but Nagi doesn't need him anymore. He catches himself really quickly, because he realizes he's sounding just like his parents. Everything is spinning out of control so bad, Reo wants Nagi to end up in a vulnerable position so that he isn't the only one falling apart. As he catches himself thinking this, he's disgusted with himself. He calls himself 'utter trash', and as he watches Nagi score the winning goal, he falls to his knees, wishing he was dead.

As he sits there decomposing in emotional turmoil and suicidal ideation, Nagi's team chooses Chigiri to join them, and it's the nail in the coffin. This is probably Reo's lowest point in the entire story IMO. Nagi comes up to compliment him on his plays and Reo shows us another classic borderline move: he's anticipating how bad it's going to hurt to be abandoned by Nagi again, so he's trying to push him away before it can happen. We see the dichotomy of his spoken words and inner thoughts here, where he's talking big game to Nagi, saying things like 'you clearly don't care about me anymore, you're throwing me away, if you're going to abandon me just do it properly', while internally he's thinking 'I'm the worst, I wish I was dead, please take this bait and break my heart so that I can self destruct in peace'.

i LOVE the visuals during this moment. This is what Reo thinks is his last line of defense, the last thing he can do to preserve any part of his dignity is to make Nagi hate him so that he'll stop throwing these crumbs of affection at him. It's also really telling that despite his switch in behavior and the devaluing of Nagi, the root of all of that is STILL that he was so hurt by the abandonment.

I don't think I need to analyze the suicidal ideation because he just straight up says he wants to die like three times in this scene but, aside from that, the visual of his inner thoughts vs what he's actually saying is so powerful. Not to mention the chameleon imagery which i'll geek out about in a second, this is another example of his black and white thinking along with the reiteration that being abandoned was literally traumatic for Reo: he says they can never go back to what they were before. Speaking as a borderline, this is painfully true. When people break my trust even in a small way, I can never view them the same as I used to. I can forgive them and let it go, but I'll never be as open with them as I once was. In Reo's shoes, he had Nagi up on this pedestal that he was perfect and would never do anything to hurt him, but he did hurt him (in the worst way possible).

After Nagi tells him he's a pain in the ass and that he doesn't care anymore, Reo thanks him for 'finishing him off'. In his mind, they're done now and he can suffer in peace and quiet without dragging Nagi down anymore.

Bonus Point: The Chameleon Effect

I LOVE THE FACT THAT HIS THING IS CHAMELEONS AHHHH

The chameleon imagery with Reo makes me INSANE dude. As I mentioned towards the beginning of this post, a part of borderline that is seldom talked about is the tendency to take on 'the chameleon effect', or mirror the people around them. REO'S ENTIRE THING IS CHAMELEONS LIKE BFFR ?? That image where he was trying to get Nagi to hate him, was before he even started using his chameleon style, it was just something the authors thought was necessary to include during Reo's mental breakdown. Aside from the cool imagery, his chameleon style is a reflection of his relationship with Nagi. He gets called a jack of all trades and a master of none early on in reference to how when he’s without Nagi, hes not really exceptional at anything. He never really took the time to master one specific thing because he was always so concerned with helping Nagi. This rings my BPD bell for a couple reasons: first of all, when you have no sense of identity and you’re worried it means you have no real personality ?? Steal one!! Take the closest person to you and copy that one. That’s something us baddies know VERY well. Also, think there’s something about you that your fp doesn’t like? Change it! You can morph into anything they want as long as it means they won’t leave you !! :*) Before he makes up with Nagi, he copies moves in hopes that it'll make him stronger and appear more desirable to Nagi. After they make up, he copies whoever he has to so that he can get Nagi to that goal and make himself useful, make himself somebody that Nagi wants to have around. It is a literal direct metaphor for him changing anything and everything about himself for Nagi and graaaahhhh it’s so cool

Reonagi ?? Some thoughts-

I want to close this yap session with my thoughts on Reonagi as a ship. I do think that they can work and I want to make that clear. I'm not on board with the 'borderlines arent capable of having loving and fulfilling relationships' crap. That being said, they both have to put in a bit of effort. Reo has already recognized a lot of his own issues. He admits that he was wrong for pushing his ideals onto Nagi, that he needs to let Nagi grow and be his own person, etc. Nagi really hasn't accepted any fault. I stand by the fact that Nagi needs to be more sensitive with Reo. Way too often when a relationship like this fails, all the blame is put on the one with borderline. I'm gonna be the outlier here and say that if Nagi cares about Reo, he needs to learn about Reo's triggers and be mindful of them. I'm not saying that since Reo is sensitive to abandonment that Nagi should just isolate himself from everybody else, but what I am saying is that when he's going to do something that doesn't involve Reo, he needs to learn how to communicate that he still loves and values Reo. "I'm gonna go play soccer with this person right now, but I haven't forgotten about our promise. When I come back, we can play together. I still love you and I'm not going to leave you for whoever tf I'm playing with rn." (sneaking that 'i love you' in bc like..they're literally canon at this point asdfghjkll) But, I do think that Nagi loves Reo and cares about him in his own way. The two of them just have to keep working on their communication skills. Nagi has the potential to have a hot rich husband who will literally bend over backward for him and buy him all the robux he could ever want, he's gotta put in a shred of effort!

I also like to think that Nagi didn’t totally get the fact that Reo doesn’t gaf about just playing soccer. Nagi thinks soccer is what they do together, it’s what makes reo happy, right? He’s always pushing him to train harder and take the game more seriously because he likes the sport, RIGHT? It would make perfect sense to go play with isagi so that he can get better at soccer and come back to reo a more improved player. Maybe that’s why he was surprised when Reo was so mad in the bathhouse, bc he wasn’t making the connection that Reo cares more about him than soccer. That Reo puts all that energy into him playing soccer because he thinks it’s something that they can have as their own, and once Nagi notices how good he is, he’ll start enjoying it and the two of them can hold hands and run around the soccer pitch!! I think Nagi missed that part tbh, and I don’t think he know that even now in the story. Maybe Reo doesn’t even notice it.

Anyway, a shameless plug to my reonagi playlist if that's your thing (i cooked with this one, i fear) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5CsvSqmuI4cxOl1nTaV4GJ?si=737a0f21e0bd482a

Closing Thoughts:

Reo is a bpd baddie and I love him very much. I think he's a sensitive guy with a lot of feelings who would benefit from taking time to work through his trauma and his emotions. I hope that he eventually is able to build an identity for himself that doesn't involve Nagi, but baby steps, I suppose. I think Reo is a great balance of positive and negative borderline traits and he reads as a really believable and sympathetic character. He is, however, definitely that friend that you have to slap to stop them from running back to their ex.

Jokes aside though, BPD can be extremely hard to live with, even more so when it's undiagnosed and untreated. If someone you love has BPD, take the time to read up on it and do your best to understand them. I promise you, it will mean the world to them.

If you managed to get this far, thank you for reading! This was a messy stream of consciousness and I appreciate your support by listening.

[toxicanonymity]

Cargo. Silence can never be bought, only rented (pt. 4)

3.1k / dbf!Joel x f!Reader 18+ / pt 1 / master list

His arms loosen and you turn around to face him.  Bedhead is unreasonably sexy on him.   You try to kiss him and he dodges you again, going for your neck instead. . . He starts giving you a light hickey.  "You're evil," you say, pulling away to look at him.  He smiles wickedly, then it fades.  | next: part 5

Thank you @dark-scape for the mood board (and sounding board).

CONTENT WARNINGS/NOTES: NSFW 18+ Noncon somnophilia just the tip (don't get too excited) dry humping, vaginal fingering, oral (M receiving), alcohol, reader wears his shirt, excessive dialogue, elvis reference, sex work references, NO HOG BBQ YET SORRY- It took on a life of its own, needed its own part (next Sunday) and I think you'll see why the pacing is better that way.

Tags - This story: @jbcalway @daddy-din @angelmenace @silkiers @axshadows @legs0pen4dilfs @fan-fiction-floozy @grnherbs @icuminurbutt @lokanda @not-a-unique-snowflakewflake89 @likeanimagepassingby2 @witchy-jadda @mxtokko @missannwinchester @cannolighost @anxiousankylosaurus @montenegroisr @97cityy @lillyrob @billyloomiswhore4 @cloudroomblog @boysddontcry @blackvelveteen1339 @twsssmlmaa @call-me-doll-face All Joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea. @evyiione Lmk if i missed you. Idk why some are buggy.

-

The hotel shampoo and body wash smell like Joel after his shower, which makes you want to take the bottles with you.  After your bath, you lounge on your bed in a towel, air-drying, finishing the movie, and replaying the night in your mind.  Mainly how hot Joel looked between your legs.  You also dwell on the fact that he wouldn’t really kiss you.  Apparently, he won't sleep in the same bed with you either.  It hurts.  Like, it's physically painful.  

You go across the suite to Joel's room for a shirt to sleep in.  His door is cracked open and there's a green flannel folded on top of his luggage.  It’s not weather-appropriate and you wonder if he brought it for you.   He's tucked in, already asleep on his stomach with his shirt off, a massive arm sticking out over the white comforter and another under his pillow.   You drop your towel to put the shirt on – leisurely, hoping he wakes up to the tempting sight – but he's already sleeping soundly.   You've never seen his face so relaxed, but his brow is still somewhat furrowed.  

You sit down on his bed to fasten a couple of buttons.  He doesn't  wake up.  The irony doesn't escape you that you're watching him sleep when he's supposed to be the creep.  Why doesn't he try to fuck you, you wonder.  His words to Chad echo in your mind: If she told her father, you wouldn't be breathing.  But that's obviously different, you think. That was about someone breaking your heart and physically intimidating you.   

-

The hotel bed is tightly made, with the comforter tucked under the mattress on the side Joel isn't using.  You wonder if you could slip inside without waking him up.  You move the pillows out of the way, then slowly, inch by inch, wedge yourself under the sheets. When you're almost settled, he stirs.  He blinks a few times, squints at you, then sighs, "Trouble . . ."  He moves one of his pillows and hugs it, effectively putting something between you.  It stings.  You try to sleep but you end up sniffling.  

He hears you and wakes up again.  "C'mere, damnit," he half-whispers, half-asleep.  His gruff bedroom whisper makes you wet.  He lifts up his arm but doesn't turn on his side or move the pillow.  You rotate the pillow slightly and rest your head on it with his arm over your chest.  You drift off sooner than you expect.  

-

At some point in your sleep, you roll over facing away from him.  You wake up in the fetal position with Joel’s arm draped over you.  Joel has turned onto his side, too.  Your upper back is just barely against his chest.  You scoot your lower body backwards to spoon with him, and your naked ass meets the tip of his cock.  Arousal shoots through you like a bolt of lightning.  It's the first time you've actually had contact with it.  You didn't even realize he was naked. 

At the first contact, his hips instinctively press his cock up against you, sending all the blood in your body to your core.  You stifle a moan, not stopping to wonder why you don't want to wake him up.  You carefully maneuver your ass to nestle his cock between your thighs.  He thrusts in his sleep, gliding firm and wet against your folds, reaching your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through you. 

You unbutton your shirt then nudge his hand into it. His hand twitches and so does his cock. It pulls back a little and the tip is right at your entrance. Your hips tilt, nestling it there, the top curve of the head resting just inside without truly breaching you.  You could sink onto him right now.  It would be so easy.  But you want him to do it himself.  

You're absolutely throbbing, aching for him.  He pulls back again with a sigh, then his hard tip bypasses your tight, dripping hole and glides to your clit again and you softly moan.  You adjust your chest, wanting the movement of your breast to prompt his hand to cup around it.  But instead of cupping your breast, his hand drifts up your chest.  Then, it wraps loosely around your throat.

His voice is quiet but stern as his cock retreats then slides firmly against your clit with an aggressive thrust.  His hand applies light pressure around your throat.  “What’d I tell ya last night?”  

You remember it well, how you foolishly claimed you weren't gonna fuck him and he replied, oh, I'm not gonna let ya, sugar.  Blood drains from your face and your heart races. You scoff but don't say anything.  Having made his point, his hand goes slack again.  Humiliation drowns out your arousal and you begin to scoot away, but he follows you, effortlessly restraining you with one enormous arm.  

“Calm down," he says into your hair, then half-whispers under your ear, "I’m still gonna take care of ya,” as he palms your breast.  His hard cock nestles against your crack. 

"Lucky me," you say sarcastically and begin to squirm away, but both his arms wrap around you.  In a mocking tone, you parrot, "Take care of me," and add, "you're an actual whore, aren't you?"  A veiny hand slowly works your breast then trails down your torso and digs between your legs.  That’s all it takes for your arousal to return.  

He gathers your ample wetness and uses his middle and ring fingers in a way he must have been perfecting since before you were born.   You gasp and your back arches with tension building rapidly in your core.  His bicep flexes under your neck as his other hand slowly gropes your breasts.  His stiff cock slowly ruts against your ass while he touches you like you've never been touched before.  

He grunts and you gasp on the edge of your climax.  He softly bites your neck, and it sends you.  He sucks your neck as you come.   When your body finishes convulsing into his, his arms loosen and you turn around to face him. 

-

Bedhead is unreasonably sexy on him.   You can't resist. You try to kiss him.  

He fucking dodges you again, going for your neck instead.   "Haven't you seen Pretty woman?" Yeah, the one where a sex worker won’t kiss johns on the mouth because it’s too emotional . . .Joel starts giving you a light hickey.  

"You're evil," you say, pulling away to look at him.  

He smiles wickedly, then it fades.  He opens his mouth to say something but stops short when you reach down and grab his cock.  Your mouth falls open at its hardness and the fact that his hand is already around it. 

He winces at your icy fingers. 

You get up on your knees and straddle his legs, pushing the plush luxury comforter behind you.  You fold at the hips and take a moment to admire his cock in your fist and breathe in his musk.  Your thumb lightly traces a vein, and he exhales with a soft grunt.  You look up and are greeted with a twinkle in his eye and a barely perceptible smirk.  You want to wipe that smirk off his face.  

You quickly succeed by holding eye contact while you wrap your lips around his swollen tip and tongue the slit.  It’s already salty with pre-cum.  He takes a deep breath and his lips part just barely.   He puts another pillow behind his head for a better view. His face falls into a trance.  When you begin to suck, he swallows and his jaw clenches.    His eyes darken. You bob your head on his cock, taking as much of his shaft as you can without gagging, stroking the rest with your hand. 

“Fuck,” he pants.  His quads tense under you and his breathing changes. His hips rock gently into your mouth.  Your eyes water as you keep blowing him.  Then, his hand joins yours.  

“Where ya want it?” he asks somewhat urgently.  What a gentleman. 

You don’t answer, you simply take his hand off his cock and place it on his stomach.  You slow your sucking and relax your tongue.  His hips thrust gently into your mouth and his  hand floats to your head, but you send it back to his stomach again  

“God almighty,” he groans.  “Fuck me.”  It’s a turn-on seeing him so desperate.  

You edge him until you’re ready to see him come. Then, you suck with your whole mouth, your cheeks caving in as you firmly tongue the underside.  Within seconds, his hips lift and stay lifted as he erupts in your mouth with a groan.  His warm load hits the roof of your mouth first, and it’s so many ropes you lose count.  You swallow, then return to the head of the bed. 

-

You put your head on his chest and he strokes your shoulder.  

“You’re the evil one,” he says, and you bask in self-satisfaction for a minute.  “Nah, you’re right.  You don’t wanna believe it, but you’re right.” 

“About what?” 

He sits up and your eyes glue to his inner bicep flexing as he reaches for his phone.  His brow furrows as he reads something then dismisses it.  Then he puts on the song Trouble by Elvis.  He meant you’re right that he’s evil.  

You hold out your arm and say, “I’m cringing so hard I have goosebumps.”  

“Just for that, I’m gonna play DJ allll mornin’,” he says.  He sings along as he walks to the shower, “well I’m evil, so don’t you mess around with me. . .” 

. . .

Before Joel takes you back to your apartment, you have brunch at a restaurant overlooking the riverwalk.  In the absence of other options, you wear your leather pants with the lacy top.  You both get bloody marys. He wears his Ray-Bans and a white t-shirt, jeans as tight as always, and sits back lazily with one elbow over the back of his chair and his knees spread wide.  

Your phone dings with a text from another family friend, Frank, asking if you’re coming home for the Independence Day barbecue, and it gets you thinking.

“Dad’s back this week,” you say to Joel.  You instantly regret it for killing the mood, but it’s the elephant in the room.  “Y’all still gonna barbecue?” 

He takes a sip of his drink, then puts it back down.  He looks at the river and furrows his brow, then his eyes return to you.  “Why wouldn’t we?  You gonna talk to him?”

“I dunno,” you say, not wanting to show your hand, but you’re leaning against snitching any time soon.  

Joel tenses and his nose twitches. “What are you gonna tell’m?”  He rubs one side of his beard.  A waiter approaches from behind, but Joel doesn’t see him.  “Gonna tell’m you climbed into my bed?  Tried to fuck yourself on my cock?"  There’s a bite to his words.  The waiter stops in his tracks and awkwardly tries to pretend he wasn’t coming to your table.  You look at the waiter and shrug and he gulps before nodding at you in acknowledgement.  Joel looks over his shoulder then shakes his head at you and smirks as the waiter walks away. 

Climbed into his bed. . . tried to fuck yourself on his cock. . . It sounds so bad when he puts it that way.  Maybe it was.  Your cheeks burn.

You sigh.  "I wasn't -” 

Joel raises his eyebrows at you. 

“Just the tip," you protest. 

Joel nods thoughtfully. 

“I dunno what I was thinking,” you admit.  You cross your arms and slouch down in your seat. 

"It's never just the tip,"  Joel says. 

"Why didn't you want it?" You ask pathetically 

He sighs.  "Nothin' to do with want.”  He takes a deep breath and leans back.  He looks at the river, exhales, then adds, "Trust me. . .Fuck."  He takes a sip of his bloody mary and looks back at you. 

"What then?”

The way he looks like he’s racking his brain, you wonder if he’s holding back just to drive you crazy.  It certainly has your attention. In fact, you didn’t know how badly you needed to fuck him until last night . . .just minutes after he said he wasn’t going to let you. 

Finally, he says, "It's bad for you, sugar."

“What is? Your evil cock?”

He smirks then shifts uncomfortably in his seat and looks at the river again.  “I dunno what to tell ya. I've seen a lot.  Don't wanna put ya through it.  Shoot, look at your stepmom, she's damn near lost her mind.”

“You're just that good,” you roll your eyes.  You have every reason to believe he is. 

Joel sighs.  “Nothin' to do with good. Shit, I’m not good, I'm just grown."  He takes a sip of his bloody mary.  "Don't you know any hot professors? Take 'em for a spin, you'll see."

You brush it off as his crude way of being modest.  He could probably make bank as an actual gigolo from what you’ve seen. 

"Then what is it?" you wonder.  He gives it some thought.  

"Reckon it’s ‘cause ya can't have me.  No one can. I'm un-have-able."  

“Why don’t you ever settle down?” 

“Shoot, I dunno.  When I was your age, I was already a father.  Maybe I went backwards.”

You nod, appreciative of his effort to give a real answer. 

He continues, “But ya know, monogamy just ain’t right for some people.  Hell, even in a marriage.  You’d be surprised how many are open.” 

“How many what? Marriages?” You suspect his sample is skewed. 

“Yeah. Relationships, marriages.”  He crosses his legs.  “Alright, my turn to ask you somethin’.”

Your heart rate spikes, hoping he won’t revisit the just-the-tip incident.  

“Why'd you stand there and watch that night, hmm?" He cocks an eyebrow.  It’s the first time either of you bring up the moment that started all of this.  Sometimes, when you’re with him, you forget about it entirely. 

You laugh at his audacity, then counter with, "Why'd you stand there and finish?"

"Easy. So I could nut.”  He flashes his eyebrows with a casual smirk, then downs the rest of his drink. 

"You did not just say nut.  God, you're such a boomer."

"Alright, let's get outta here ‘fore we traumatize another waiter."  He throws more than enough cash on the table then stands up and pulls up his jeans.  He puts his hands on his hips and cocks a leg out, looking out over the river while you chug the rest of your drink.

-

When you get in the truck, Joel puts his phone on bluetooth and “Call Me,” the theme to American Gigolo, blasts on.  He’s so lame.  You shake your head at him and he has that subtle Dad joke smirk.  His bicep stretches that t-shirt so nicely. 

Halfway to your apartment, some kind of restricted call pops up and his phone automatically answers it.  You swear it’s your father’s voice on the line that says, “You’re offline.  What’s your 20?”  Joel’s face changes entirely, and something tightens in your chest.  

He scrambles to turn off bluetooth and puts the phone to his ear.  You can still somewhat hear the other end of the line.  

Joel glances at you and says, “Uhhh-”

“We’ve gotta move,” your dad says. 

“It’s broad daylight,” Joel counters. 

“The Bureau tracked down his number two and he’s on the move.” 

Joel seems frustrated.  “Why don’t you get Jesse?”

Your dad says, “He’s comin’ but they’re rollin’ deep.  We need our best shot or it’s gonna be a shitshow.”  Your heart is a mile a minute.

“Dad?” you ask meekly, too nervous to fully commit to asking.

“What was that?” your Dad asks. “Who was that?” You don't say anything else. You feel weak.

Joel glances at you regretfully.  “Damnit, gimme ten and I’ll call you.”

“We gotta move, Miller. I need you back online.”

Joel sighs  “Working on it.  I’ve got cargo, k?” 

There’s a pause on the other end of the line.  "What kind of cargo?”

Joel looks at you again and answers, "precious.”  He hangs up.

Joel hits the steering wheel angrily.  He speeds back toward your apartment, clenching his jaw as his driving intensifies.   You’re shaking.  That was almost certainly your father, and it didn’t sound anything like a military training exercise, or a construction project of Joel’s, for that matter.  

Joel silently fumes.  

“Was that my dad?” you ask with watery eyes.   He takes a deep breath and puffs his cheeks out as he exhales.  Before he can answer, you foolishly let him off the hook with another question.  “Did you just call me cargo?"

“Sorry sugar, no time right now.”  You ride in silence, bracing yourself as he careens around a corner. 

The tears in your eyes threaten to overflow, then one does.  

-

Joel pulls up to your apartment.  He waits with one hand still on the steering wheel for you to get out, but when he looks at you, he sees that big fat tear run down your cheek and his face softens. 

“Aw, shoot,” he says, and unbuckles. “I’m an asshole.”  He gets out and jogs over to the passenger side.  He opens the door for you and you slide out of the chair lazily, numbly, not quite wanting to meet his eyes.  

“Hey,” he says, and tilts your chin up.  Suddenly, it seems like he’s in no hurry at all.  He takes off his Ray-Bans and looks at you like he’s trying to heal you with his eyes.  You finally make eye contact and take a shaky breath, trying not to full-on sob.  His thumb brushes away your tears, then the same hand cradles the back of your head.   You stand there reading each other’s eyes.  Slowly, your head begins to pull like a magnet toward his lips.  You almost feel like his hand is ever so subtly pulling you that way.  You steel yourself for rejection anyway.  But then, Joel’s head drifts toward yours.   

His beard lightly prickles your skin as your lips lock and his free arm wraps around you.  You’re caught off guard, but in less than a second, you don’t care about anything else in the world.  Joel’s tongue parts your lips and you accept it hungrily.  His lips are soft but strong as they suck you into him.  Your mouths are needy for each other.  His hand behind your head pulls you further into him.  You kiss like you’re sharing a last breath of air.  Then, he seals the moment on your upper lip and pulls away.  The whole kiss can’t be more than ten seconds, tops. 

“Gotta go, Trouble.” he whispers, then swallows solemnly, looking down.   “I’m sorry.”  

He jumps in his truck and peels off.  

-

next: part 5

-

thank you all so much for reading and engaging. y'all are the best ILY!!!

[konigenblobbity]

hii it’s anon that asked about the “what’s your problem” story , i was wondering what your favorite characters from cod were (sorry if you’ve answered this before) and what your head canons for them would be? and how’s your master list going just curious, well i hope you had a great day whenever you read this :3

Headcannons: 141 + König

18+ MINORS DNI

Warnings: Fluff, NSFW, comfort, sex, blowjobs, cunnilingus, praise, degradation, possessive traits, overstimulation, just a variety of NSFW, links to straight p0rn

A/n: I don’t really have a favorite! Although I do love writing for Ghost. But I will say, I love König cause his design is so sick and he’s also Austrian which is <3. Hope you’re having a great day / night when you read this! ALSO! I think the links only work if you open the Twitter app. Pls lmk if you know how to make it work, cause idk what’s going wrong.

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley -

SFW

Simon is a sucker for physical touch, resting a hand on the small of your back whenever you walk together, tracing the knuckles of your fingers during meetings, simply brushing his ankle against yours under a table

Acts of service are his thing. He’d prepare your coffee in the morning, you’d find your knives and guns polished to perfection if you had an important upcoming mission, be always had an eye on if you were running out of anything - like shampoo or water - and it’d be replaced before it ever goes empty.

Any second he spends with you is never a second wasted. Just being in your presence makes him happy, you two don’t even have to be talking to each other! He just loves having you near him, being able to look over and see your face whenever he wishes…

He could stare at you for hours, trying to memorize every feature of your face to perfection.

Movies and cuddles, always. He won’t even watch the movie! He’ll just be staring at you, so peaceful in his arms. If it happens to be a horror he loves to watch how you jump slightly, gripping onto his arm tightly and hiding behind it. He loved how you felt safe when he held you, how you looked to him for protection.

NSFW

Two words. ROUGH INTIMACY. Ghost can’t help but rail into you till your voice snaps. But he’ll always make his adoration for you clear. Kissing every inch of skin, praising you, mumbling how good you felt, what a good girl you were being, all the while slamming into your cervix till your brain melts

We all know he’s BIG. And when you first see him, he can see the shock and nervousness on your face. You had no idea how he’d fit inside you. First time he’d be sweet and reassuring, but from then on, if you brought up his size, he’d just say “Don’t worry… I’ll make it fit”

Loves to hear you. Takes note of every small motion that causes you to moan out or whimper.

Wants you to sit on his face. He craves it. Wants your thighs to suffocate him slowly as he eats you out so expertly.

He’s merciless… barely giving you recovery time between when he eats you out, and when he slides deep inside you.

This man just LOVES to overstimulate you. The broken moans and cries that leave your lips had him hungry for more. Because no matter how many times you came, or how much you begged for a moment to relax, he knew you can take it. And you did. “Awww I know… f-fuck I know. Is it too much?” he’d tease you, voice soft and gentle before somehow speeding up his pace, chuckling as your eyes well up from the overwhelming pleasure “I know you can take it. Be a good cocksleeve and take it”

Due to his more animalistic side that wants to fuck you senseless… you two have a safe word. That if it ever becomes painful or too much you promised you’d say it. And if you couldn’t say it, all you had to do was wrap a hand around his throat, he’d stop immediately and make sure you’re alright. “Shit…” he’d slip out of you gently, beginning to rub your waist softly “it’s alright… there you go. Deep breathes” if you were tied up in any way, he took them off. He’d kiss at any red marks his fingers left behind “I know darling… it was overwhelming. You’re okay now” and he’d just caress you and take care of you for as long as it took.

Every chance he gets he finishes inside of you. Watching how the mixture of his and your cum slide out of your fluttering cunt. It makes him groan each time.

Then taking a finger and picking it up before stuffing it back inside of you. “You better now waste a drop… want you to feel me dripping out of you for days”

Certain nights he’ll even go so far as to keep his dick inside of you. Using it as a plug so his cum stays inside you. He’d groan as you continue to flutter around him. But as his dick softens inside you, he falls in love with how the warmth of your pussy surrounds his sensitive cock. Finding a deep love for cockwarming for multiple reasons.

Bonus —> This is exactly him! The change of pace to take moments just to hold and kiss you, before going back to manhandling you, hands finding their way to grip at your hips to hold you in place for him. Ugh and the slight choke hold!

Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish -

SFW

This man is so flirtatious, loving to get you to blush through his words. “I swear you’re an Angel…” smiling at you as if you’re his whole world “i could just look at you for hours”

Soap just adores hearing your laugh. This often means he’ll surprise you by suddenly tickling your sides. Of course you try to escape but you don’t stand a chance, his grip on you tight and unwavering.

Play wrestling is a must for this man. He loves when you get all cocky, threatening to pin him down or tackle him. He likes to goad you, get under your skin till you finally lunge at him. Of course he’ll let you have your fun every once in a while but it always ends the same. Him winning and pinning you down. “You know you don’t stand a chance lass… why even try?” He loves to tease. Using the opportunity to kiss you all over.

Always finds time for you! No matter how busy he is, he will make time for you.

Loves using pick up lines on you, even though you’re already dating. Adores when you throw your own pick up line his way, always making his laugh with how cheesy they are.

NSFW

Such a horny man. Legit grinds against you whenever he can, even if you’re talking with other soldiers in the common area. He just can’t get enough of you.

Loves when you give him head… the sight of your lips sloppily sucking him off, it was enough to have him trembling. His hands would caress your head before grabbing at your hair. Encouraging you not to stop. “F-fuck you’re so good… so good to me~” praising breathlessly. “So gorgeous gagging on my cock like that” the way saliva connects your lips to his cock was probably the hottest thing he’s ever seen “Lips slick with spit… Can I fuck your throat numb? Please Angel” he checks in consistently, wanting your consent with everything. He enjoys gripping your hair and holding your head in place as he feverishly shoves his cock down your throat.

He is not shy to kiss you after you suck him off, wanting to reward you when you’re good for him “Did such a good job gorgeous… let me reward you like you deserve”

His hands loved to explore your body, running over your body and groping at any skin he could reach.

Any position where he can see your face? His favorite. He wants to see how your eyes roll back, how your mouth falls agape, how spit collects at the corner of your mouth. “Feels good doesn’t it? God lass, you look so drunk on my cock… all for me”

Just praise. He cannot shut up when it comes to you. “Such an Angel. Such a beautiful beautiful lass” whether you’re on your knees, beneath him, riding him, he needs to make sure you know how gorgeous you are. “I wanna make you melt~ All for me. Wanna make you feel so so good”

Never satisfied with you only cumming once. He will always make sure he gets at least 2 out of you. On days where you both have the time… he won’t stop until you beg him to. “Give me one more yeah? One more orgasm before you pass out…” “Can you do that for me?”

Bonus —> This just screams soap to me. He craves this intimacy, that closeness to just feel and worship you in his arms. The shower being a perfect place to be alone together, just melting under the feel of your lips

Second Bonus —> with your permission of course, he would totally make a video like this. Watching it back when he’s alone, thrusting into his fist imagining it was your pussy. Closing his eyes as he listens to the sound of your moans from his phone. Sometimes he’ll just watch it… not even to get off. Just smirking at the sight of you so weak for him, completely at his mercy.

König -

SFW

This big bear just wants to hold you. Cuddling you against his big chest while his hand completely envelops your palm. His arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you as close as he can.

Protective as hell. You are his top priority… if he gets the idea that someone is making you uncomfortable in any way, he’s stepping in and willing to resort to violence for you “Back off… or you’ll be picking your teeth off the floor”

He is a sucker for your touch and kisses. When you’d pepper them on his face through his sniper hood he just melts. Your touch relaxing his muscles effortlessly, specifically going insane when they sit at his waist - which is slutty as hell! - thumbs resting on the V taper of his torso.

Definitely sprays his pillow and bed with your perfume. He loves the scent of you and wants to have the illusion that you’re in his bed even when you’re not.

König will speak in German to you randomly, whether it’s nicknames or whole sentences. Loving how you don’t know what he’s saying but trust him enough to know it’s only ever something sweet. “Du bist das Licht meines Lebens“ or „Mein süße Engel“ (t- You are the light of my life, my sweet Angel)

NSFW

Size kink. Simple as that. Can’t help but feel pride every time your cunt manages to take all of him inside you. Praising you. “Such an obedient little pussy… taking all of me so easily without any struggle. Fuck it’s like you’re molded to fit me”

Loves missionary simply because he can see the way his dick bulges through the skin of your lower stomach. He’ll place a hand there, softly pressing down against it which had you seeing stars

He. Is. A. Switch. Fight me. Sometimes this big bear of a man needs to be taken care of. Loving to fall apart under your mouth or pussy, abiding by your rules and letting you lead. Whimpers and whines spilling from his lips while he pleaded for more. “P-please, mein gott Schatz. Please go faster, f-feels so good” (t- my god sweetheart)

Making out with you gets him so hard so fast. Hands exploring each other while your lips mold against each other. His tongue prodding at your mouth softly until you let him in. The feeling of your tongue sliding against his while your mouth swallowed every noise he made, that was just so hot to him.

Aftercare is very important to him. With his size and his roughness he always makes sure to soothe your sore muscles after a rough fuck. He’ll always take the time to massage your thighs and shoulders to help ease your twitching. He’ll softly kiss over every inch of your skin, praising you for being so good, and then holding you into the night, holding you close. “You did so good Schatz… my best girl. Let me help ease you to sleep”

Bonus —> SIZE. KINK! He’d just watch how his cock slides down your throat, protruding through your skin. He’d fuck your throat nice and slow just to watch your skin bulge with the head of his cock. Being ever so gentle as he slides himself in and out of your throat

Second Bonus —> He loves having you on his lap. His large frame holding you as you ride down onto his cock. Watching you bounce up and down and urging you on with his hands gripping your hips.

Captain John Price -

SFW

Price was not big into PDA, preferring to save his physical touch for when the two of you are alone. Instead he shows his affection through praise and compliments. Often following missions or in the mornings. “I’m proud of you, you did a great job in todays mission” , “Morning soldier, good to see you nice and cheery”

Trusts you ENDLESSLY but is always afraid that you’ll get hurt. The idea enough to crush him.

If you do come back from a mission injured, he’ll demand to be in the room with the medic, pushing them aside to take care of the more minor injuries - obviously not taking on more than he can handle, they have a skilled medic for a reason. But he feels better to be there and help in some way.

If you’re sore in any way, he is immediately ready to alleviate your pain. “You alright darling?” You always try to ease his mind and hide your soreness but Price knows. Even the small winces of your body had his attention on you. “Y-yeah just a bit sore in my shoulder. Its bearable though” he was already making his way behind you - whether in the common area, bedroom, office, he’s on his way - and begins to massage at your muscles. “Tell me if it hurts too much” the second he starts there’s no getting rid of him, no matter how many times you say it’s alright, if you’re still wincing or clenching your teeth, he’s not moving. “Let me take care you darling”

If you’re not a soldier, when he’s gone you get tons of letters and gifts, he’d even send you little wooden carvings of hearts he’d make when he had time. Always saying that he misses you dearly and cannot wait to see you again

NSFW

His endurance would surprise you… able to hold back just to watch you fall apart on his cock over and over till he’s satisfied.

Nothing turns him on like pleasuring you. He could stay tucked between your thighs for hours if you let him. His tongue memorizing every part of your sensitive pussy just to get you to fall apart faster each time. “Mmm, you taste so good… she’s absolutely drenched”

He has AND WILL CONTINUE TO place you up on his shoulders so your hands touch the ceiling while he eats you out feverishly

Big on foreplay. Loves to finger fuck you before he does anything else, preparing you even when he knows you don’t need it. You’d beg him to stop teasing but he couldn’t help himself. Wanting to get you writhing on his bed before he even fucks you. “Patience darling… it’ll feel so much better I promise”

When you give him blowjobs he goes haywire, the feeling just indescribable. However the doesn’t like to grab at your head and throat fuck you. Rather shirting to a 69 position to please you at the same time. Often eating you out so goddamn good you have to pull your lips off his cock, not that’s he’s complaining.

Not one for teasing, he gives you what you when you ask for it nicely. Loves to hear you beg on your volition without having to withhold your orgasm from you to do it.

Price wants you to hear him… he wants you to know how good you make him feel.

Bonus —> Enough said. He wants you WRITHING. Holding you in place as he brings you to orgasm over and over.

Second Bonus —> SO HIM ITS INSANE! Late night post mission fucking. Wants you nice and close, head buried in your neck as he groans and murmurs to you. He would be so vocal it’d surprise you at first, moaning directly into your ear.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick -

SFW

Always tries to be a real gentleman. Setting up actually cutesy dates for the two of you. Yet he doesn’t want you to mention it too much. He doesn’t need the praise for being a good partner, it comes naturally.

Showers you in compliments, even if it’s a little thing. “Your hair looks beautiful today” “I always thought that shirt looked good on you” often pulling you close after he butters you up with his kind words “Your skin is practically glowing… my own goddess”

Good morning and good night texts… they don’t even have to be long, he just loves sending you a message so you wake up or go to bed thinking of him. Cause he sure as hell thinks of you.

He sticks by your side whenever he gets the chance. Always wanting to be the one to spar with you in training, the one you eat breakfast and dinner with, the one you sit next to in the common area. Practically nothing can drag him away from you.

A big advocate for you stealing his clothes. Loves to see you in his hoodies around the base, a smirk growing on his lips when he spots you. He loves as well when you sleep in his shirts, having once told him that you like how it smells like him.

NSFW

Gaz isn’t into taking videos and photos of you when you’re intimate. However… his one expectation is a set of Polaroids you gave him of you in lingerie, each photo with one less piece of clothing until the final one was a breathtaking nude photo of you. He prefers to keep them in his wallet, physical evidence that you’re his.

Gaz doesn’t shut up. Whether he’s praising, teasing, or slightly degrading you, he doesn’t stop talking. He loves the effect his words have on you. “Yeah? You’re close aren’t you? I can feel how you clench around me… trying to pull me in deeper, such a good fucking pussy. Just for me” occasionally leaning down and whispering directly into your ear “Sound so fucking beautiful… screaming out for me like a cock hungry whore”

He’ll use any chance he can get to smack your ass. The moment you lean over a counter, or bend over to grab something, you feel his hand collide with your ass. When you’re around other soldiers he simply gives your rear a little pinch or grope. Making sure it’s subtle enough no one even noticed.

Loves to lead but not be dominant. He enjoys choosing the position and how he wants to hold you, or touch you. He doesn’t like to manhandle you though, never.

However he will let you lead whenever you want. He’ll be especially supportive if you want to ride him, it being one of his favorite positions. His hands will hold your waist as you bounce on his cock. His eyes glued to the way your tits bounce in unison, either moving his hands up to grope them or leaning forward to lick and bite at them. “Looks so fucking sexy… let me help you darling.” His hands will lift your hips up and down harsher, even meeting your hips halfway by thrusting up into you. It’s not long before he takes control, fucking up into you - see second bonus ;)

He is a BIG tit guy. They don’t need even need to be big, he just loves playing with, licking, and kissing at the skin of your breasts before moving to toy with your nipples. Moaning against them knowing you’ll feel the vibration through your whole body.

Loves to cum on your tits and face. Wants to see it decorate your skin, or your clothes ;)

Afterwards will pick some of it up with his fingers, sticking them in your mouth “Suck them clean for me…” when you oblige hell immediately kiss you.

He would do the same after he finger fucks you. Licking his fingers clean right in front of your face, winking at you after he’s done.

Bonus —> He loves how you sound, but is more than happy to gag you with a rag or his fingers to keep you quiet. This just feels very Gaz… the roughness and lust. Yet he’d definitely make sure you’re in the mood for that kind of sex.

Second Bonus —> Loves how you ride him, wanting to lead your movements. When your thighs falter and ache he’ll soon have your wrists or even your hair in his hand as he fucks up into you. Encouraging you to meet his thrusts by smacking at your ass.

[biolumien]

hi! o em gee i am absolutely in love with ur writing! i quite literally devoured ur master list when i discovered ur blog. i love how you write all the characters it truly makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside >_<

since requests are open i was wondering if you could write some hurt/comfort for reno ichikawa where the reader puts themselves in danger to protect reno but reno gets upset by this as he can’t stand the thought of possibly losing them :’))

if you don’t want to write this it’s totally okay! and thank you so much for taking the time to read this <33

notes: hi hi yes :') of course i can do that for you!! i am still. a bit under the weather while writing this so its a bit on the shorter side so i hope that's okay... blehh

i need a doctor!

reno ichikawa x gn!reader mentions of hospitals / burns word count: 509

you were always the self-sacrificing type. you frequently disregarded your safety–mostly because you felt it wasn’t that important deep down. after all, you were a measly little tick in the cog of a machine far larger than you, composed of parts that were much more valuable and important. what did it matter that one small cog got knocked out of line?

that’s what you told yourself frequently.

you’d jumped in front of a wyvern kaiju’s blast, shoving reno out of the way as you took the full brunt of the attack. in woozy vision, you watched as reno screamed something, rushing forward towards you as everything went black. 

when you next awoke, you were in the hospital. pain ripples across your body unevenly–and as you look down, your entire chest is wrapped in bandages, a nasty burn spreading across your arms. as you look up, you find reno looking down at you–exhaustedly at first, but then wider and with more urgency as soon as he realizes that you’re awake.

he immediately lets out a shaking sigh. 

“reno?” you ask worriedly. “are you–”

“are you insane?!” 

you’ve only heard reno shout a handful of times. most of the time it was always lighthearted–him yelling at kafka to quiet down, a casual shouting match between him and iharu, but to hear it targeted at you was something else entirely. he brushes the corner of his eye, taking a breath.

“sorry for shouting,” reno says, leaning forward to pull you in as tight of a hug as he possibly dared to, gingerly moving his arms around your wrapped ribs. “i just… i don’t like seeing you do that.”

“i wanted to help,” you murmur weakly. 

“there were other ways you could’ve helped other than doing that,” reno says weakly, pressing his face against your shoulder gingerly. “you could’ve died there. what were you thinking, tanking the wyvern’s breath like that? that thing can destroy buildings! how could you–”

“it was going to hit you,” you whisper, reaching up a shaking arm to touch the nape of his neck, gently pulling him a little closer. “i couldn’t have let that happen. i’m not–as strong as kikoru, i couldn’t have blasted the head of that thing right off–i just didn’t–i just didn’t want to…”

“i don’t want to lose you!” 

reno’s voice shakes as the words come out in a jumbled mess.

“i don’t… i don’t want to lose you,” reno repeats. “every time you do–every time you do something reckless, i get so–” his grip almost tightens on you for an instant before he remembers that you’re still hurt, and his hand loosens its grip. “i love you too much to let you do this to yourself.”

your heart thuds in your chest.

“reno,” you whisper.

“please,” reno says quietly, looking up at you, his eyes brimming with tears. “promise me. promise me you won’t do anything like that again.”

“i promise,” you say, pressing your face against reno’s cheek. 

and when reno leans into your touch, you think you hear him laugh.

[xmalereader]

Kylo Ren x Teen! Male Reader

☆— MASTERLIST —☆

REQUEST: I just wanted to know if you maybe could write Kylo ren x child/teen male reader. Where the reader is like his apprentice aaand he shows him the force and how to fight with a light saber. And while training he gets hurt or something and Kylo is all dad-like :3

WARNINGS/CONTENT: Fluff, slight angst, knights of ten, training, slight back story, Kylo showing his Ben side, father and son relationship, platonic, teenager reader, mentions of purrgli.

WC: 2.1K

TAGS: @justalonleyboy

NOTES: Finally! First request is up! I hope you enjoy this shot, I tried to make it as father and son relationship as possible, but other than that thank you for the request it’s been a long time since I’ve written for Kylo Ren so it feels nice writing about him again.

“Again.”

His masters voice echos in the training room. He’s standing opposite of his opponent, panting and sweating from the dueling session. He’s been training all morning nonstop and he still hasn’t managed to take down one of the knights of Ren, he can sense them smirking behind those mask as they all watched him train.

His eyes drift over to the others, inhaling some air into his lungs and shakes his head. He couldn’t go any further his body feels sore and his legs are screaming at him to sit and take a break.

“I can’t.”

He felt guilt and shame for disobeying his masters words, expecting a scolding from him as usual only this time he approached him and used the force to summon his saber into his hand. Y/n is surprised by his actions, breathing hitching as he looks up to his master who stared him down.

The masked man looks at him up and down and can clearly seen the kids fatigue. “Leave us.”

The knights respect his wishes and leave the training room, hearing them murmur amongst themselves and leaving the two alone. As the doors close behind them they are finally left alone.

“I told you not to push yourself.”

“I didn’t want to disappointment you.”

Kylo remains quiet when hearing his response, earning him a deep sigh as he reached up to remove his helmet, revealing his face and the scar that was left behind on his right cheek. It was a nasty wound that he received from the Jedi and remembers that day clearly even though he was his apprentice he stayed by his side in the medical wing while he was healing, being the one to check his face evert once an while until it healed, leaving a scar behind.

“You didn’t, but I also can’t have my apprentice draining himself when training. You could have gotten hurt.” Kylo knows how rough the Knights of Ren can be he’s trained with them before and faced the consequences of their training methods the amount of bruises and pain he went through. He wouldn’t want Y/n to go through the same and kept an eye on him during training and became strict whenever he didn’t listen to his orders.

“Go wash up and get something to eat.” Said Kylo. “Rest.” His last word was stern, ordering him.

Y/n sighs to himself. “Yes, master.”

Y/n leaves the training room, leaving Kylo on his own while he makes his way back to his own private room. Once he’s far away and alone he lets out a groan and rubs his sore hips. “Damn knights are gonna kill me.” They’ve been dropping him to the ground every time he trained with them, using the wooden sabers to smack him each time he failed.

He deeply disliked them and would prefer using the trainer droids.

When reaching his room he waves his hand, using the force to open the door and doing the same when closing it after he walks inside and gets himself undressed and towards his shower where he can finally get washed up and relax a bit before getting something in his stomach. As much as he hated the training he should be grateful if it wasn’t for Kylo he would have remained in the slums slaving away in order to survive.

Kylo had sensed him and came to him.

Before he could officially leave the slum, Kylo had given him a test in order to prove that he would be a worthy apprentice. Y/n was desperate to get off that damn planet and accepted his test, not realizing the dangerous potential he carried. Since his test he always stuck by Kylo’s side, following his orders and listening to what he had to say.

He was afraid of the man at first.

Witnessing his anger issues and the amount of troopers he had killed out of pure anger. The times when he’d grow desperate to show their power and hunting other force sensitives that they could find. Many of the generals and engineers murmured about him, saying that he wouldn’t last long and would possibly anger his master enough to get himself killed.

Only for Y/n to prove them wrong.

The first time that Y/n disobeyed orders he almost got himself killed trying to capture a rebel in order to get further information about their plans. Kylo was not happy, yelling at him for his actions. Everyone would have expected Y/n to cower away and take the scolding only to argue back with the Sith, spitting back words as the two scream at each other.

They’d think that Kylo would have killed him that day, but instead Kylo had let him win the argument and stomped away angrily.

Since then the two found a weird way of bonding with each other.

After Y/n finished washing up and getting some clothes on he made his way to the mess hall where he grabs himself something to eat and takes his tray with him. He doesn’t eat with the other troopers since no one really had the courage to speak with him, to afraid to approach him.

So instead he spent his time eating in Kylos room.

It became a regular routine between the two. When Y/n enters the room he doesn’t find Kylo anywhere which was expected and sits by one of the windows, watching them fly through hyper space as he eats his food in silence. After some time, Kylo finally returns back to his own room, door closing behind him as he removes his mask and sets it down on his bed.

“I’ve never seen a purrgil…have you?” Y/n looks away from the window and over to Kylo who removed his saber from his belt and sets it on his empty desk along with Y/n’s saber. Kylo still hasn’t given him the approval of wearing it yet and simply waited for that day.

“They are nothing but stories, no one has seen one.” Said Kylo.

Y/n hums in return and looks back out the window. The silence between them was comfortable as Kylo did his own thing by doing his daily check ups on Hux’s work and making sure that everything is going in order. After Y/n finishes his meal he leaves the tray aside and steals one of Kylos holo pads in order to read something.

“Don’t forget your training starts again in an hour.”

The teen mentally groans to himself, eyes on the holo when speaking up. “Who will I be training with this time? Cardo? Trudgen?” He’s basically trained with each Knight and already knows the routine he has with each one. He just hopes its not Vicrul he’s the most ruthless one out of all of them and never holds back.

Kylo stands from where he sits and approached Y/n, taking the pad from him. “You’ll be training with me.”

His eyes slightly widen by his words. It wasn't rare for him to train with Kylo he was the first one he trained with when he first got here. He taught him about the force and how to wield a saber before the knights of ren came in to further his training while he watched him. “I will be testing your skills today and see how well the knights have been training you.”

“Of course, Master.” He softly whispers out, growing anxious as he quickly gathers his empty tray and leaves his room, rushing out to get ready for his final training today. He’s been training for this day and shouldn’t feel nervous, but somehow he can’t help himself.

When getting ready for his training he makes sure to put on a proper training suit in case Kylo goes a little rough on him. He doesn’t need anymore bruises showing each time he looks in the mirror. He laced up his boots and makes his way to the training room once he’s done getting ready.

When entering the training room it was usual for him to find the Knights of Ren training before him. Only this time they are standing on the side, watching him carefully as he enters the room.

“Don’t kill yourself kids.” Said Cardo, obviously smirking under his helmet.

Y/n glared at him when approached the training weapons, only to be stopped when Vicrul approached him. “You will be needing this.” He holds out his saber only this one wasn’t his. It was different from the one Kylo let him use.

He takes the saber in his hand, getting adjusted to the feeling of it in his hand and walks towards the middle of the room. He doesn’t get much time to mentally prepare himself when Kylo walks into the room, wearing his own helmet and without the cape this time.

Kylo doesn’t really give him time to prepare and approached him quickly, holding out his own saber and igniting it and takes a swing at him. Y/n is surprised by the quick attack and side steps quickly, igniting his own saber in order to defend himself. He holds it with one hand, focusing on Kylo as he takes another swing at him.

He’s quick to block it with his own saber. This one felt lighter to use than the one that Kylo got for him like it belonged to him.

He moves fast with each strike, groaning by the pressure that Kylo puts on his saber with each swing he takes. He can’t back down now a Jedi could easily kill him if he doesn’t fight back properly. He doesn’t know how long he’s been fighting for, but Kylo wasn’t backing down until one of them yielded.

Y/n holds the saber in his tight hand as his eyes follow Kylos movements. Y/n makes the first attack, swinging it close to his head which Kylo quickly dodged no realizing his own misstep as his own master swings his own red saber down on him. His eyes widen and quickly thinks, thrusting his hand out and using the force to stop the saber from killing him.

He can feel the hot saber close to his face, groaning and tilting his head away as he uses his power to push back only to grow weaker and tired. His hand is shaking and the saber is getting closer the red saber burning on his shoulder as he cries at the pain.

He can feel hot tears running down his face his emotion is enough for Kylo to stop, turning off his saber as the teen falls to the ground. A hand on his shoulder as he bites his lip hard trying to contain his muffled groans.

Kylo doesn’t hesitate to drop his saber, getting down on his knees and grabbing onto the kid. “Let me see.”

Y/n sniffles and whimpers afraid to show his wounded shoulder and shakes his head.

“Y/n.” Kylos voice is stern, enough to make the kid move his hand from where it lies as he shows his wound to Kylo. It wasn’t deep but it was burnt that he’ll need a patch and some bacta spray to get it healed up. While Kylo focused on Y/n’s wellbeing the Knights stood on the side, noticing his actions.

“He is still to weak and needs further training.”

Y/n looks away as he grows ashamed by their words only for Kylo to frown under his helmet.

“He is still a kid.” Kylo speaks up while looking over his shoulder, glaring under his helmet as he comes to a stand. “Get me a medical droid.”

“Ren—“

“Now!” Kylo shouts at the knights, reminding them who they follow as they leave the training room and search for a medical droid.

Kylo puts his focus on Y/n again and touched his shoulder which makes him wince. “It hurts.” He groans out. “I know it hurts and its gonna hurt even more if you don’t let me see if properly.” Y/n whines and lets Kylo examine the wound. The two are quiet until Kylo finally speaks up in a soft tone. “I’m sorry, I overstepped and got you hurt. I was rough on you.”

Even though Kylo was the most intimidating man on the ship only Y/n had the privilege to see his soft side which was very rare. He never pointed it out and simply went along with it, accepting his apology with a small nod as he lets him tend to his wound. “Well, at least I know you can handle a rough battle.” Y/n choked out a chuckle, sniffling back his tears as he sticks close to Kylo as they wait for the medical droid.

[kit-williams]

-hands payment type of your choosing-

I'll have one ticket to the 'Lamenters/Blood Angels being able to smell and/or consume menstrual blood, possibly even having a preference for it or maybe just liking that they can get blood without killing their favorite person' please. Feel free to toy with it at your leisure, I will enjoy anything you make even somewhat close to this topic >:D

and of course take your time, I'm just putting this in the box for whenever/if you want to write the idea

And you get the honor of seeing the latest OC... A Khornite Lamenter of the Red Corsairs... Berserker Varial Blood-drinker or also known as Varial the Insatiable.

@bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog

@thevoidscreams @barn-anon @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @squishyowl @ms--lobotomy

@nekotaetae @sleepyfan-blog

tw: somnophilia, blood, idk do I put slavery and limb loss because that just feels par for the course for 40k

"Cherish?" Varial's rage rotted mind woke up to the smell of sweet blood and instantly called out for his reward.

The maimed slave known as 'Cherish' was asleep next to her master. Varial had to maim her or else she would end up like other Cherish's that did not obey and it would leave him inconsolable. How his jaws clamped down on one of her legs. He did not like it when his Cherished screamed... it brought up painful memories... all their screams did. Her leg was healing up nicely but his room smelt of blood.

He moved over to the locked door sniffing the seams wondering if they were trying to lure him out... no the door was still locked. Panic rushed into his rage rotted mind as he went over to Cherish, her hair kept short to keep it out of the way of his mouth, did he bite her? She whined at his rough handling... then why did he smell Cherish's blood?

A memory floated through the miasma of rage that often occupied his mind. Back upon Badab a slave explaining why she smelt of blood and ways she could relieve it. The dirty threadbare outfit that Cherish wore was lifted up as Varial his nose wrinkled slightly at the smell of old blood... old tissue... mixed with her feminine discharge of that acidic crevice of her body. Moments where words wanted to come to him yet flee him upset the corrupted Lamenter as he could remember poetic songlike prose spilling from his mouth with ease now he struggles to string sentences together... but the price he must pay for the thirst to be quenched and his foul luck kept at bay.

A long slow lick up his beloved Cherish's thighs licking up the smeared blood there before he stuck his tongue deep between her folds. She mewled so sweetly... he always picked good Cherishs' who made such good noises for him... made Varial feel so good... His warped mouth opens up just a little too wide as his mutated black tongue pushes deep inside. Arousal burns in his nose as her fingers grip the bedding tightly as she moans still stuck in a haze of sleep. Globs of sheded lining cling to his tongue as he pulls it back into his maw and snapping his jaws in a pleased motion before repeating his intrusion into her woman hood.

"Cherish!" He trills pleased by her; He cherished her... he cherished her... that's all he could remember at times was his need to cherish a mortal... they only let him have one mortal at a time to cherish. Talons push into the flesh of her thighs as he feasts on the blood offering. "Cherish!" He trills again getting excited.

"Varial!" A voice hisses on the vox causing him to look to the door. It was his handler. "Stupid thing..." he hears the fellow traitor astartes mumble, "We're going to need you planet side to scare the mortals." Varial did not care... his Cherish was bleeding for him and his head dipped back between her thighs to listen to her breathy whimpers. "VARIAL stop acting like some pussy drunk Slaaneshi-"

The cord snapped hard as his body slammed into the door it holding but barely finally startling his Cherish awake as she scrambled to the corner, pleasing Varial as her blood smeared onto his pillow. He snarled and snapped his maw at the vox caster before turning around to grab the splotchy red helm where faded yellow paint could be seen between the chipping red paint.

"Cherish!" He says again reaching out to her and pulling her into a hug and nuzzling her head, "Be good. Stay. Come back soon." His rough unnaturally deepened voice clips out those basic sentences as anymore he turns into a snarling mess. She just nodded weakly as he puts her in his spot in the bed before heading over to the door. At least he had something to quench his thirst. Lest he try to take a bit of his handler... oh... he would eventually run out of luck but Varial was patient... he could wait to taste astartes blood on his tongue.

[keruimi]

Hello there! If you accept requests I was wondering if maybe you could write some headcanons of the hashiras seeing reader (Who's older and also a hashira) as an older sibling figure? Only if you want to ofc and if it's possible all of them, if not that's alright! Have a nice day / night! ^^

My Saving Grace

Author's Note: I finally have the will to post this. I tried, I really tried because I'm not sure how to write this since I prefer oneshots. I don't see the characters as a sibling figure too so it was really difficult to grant this. But since it was the first request I received, I tried to write this. I love scenarios and this made me really know how to write one. Sorry for taking too long and sorry for not managing to get every hashira included but I hope I did it correctly. Hope you enjoy it!!

Mentions of death, abuse, and trauma.

Characters: Sanemi, Obanai, Giyu

_____________________________

On the torture room, the smell of blood is staining the nose of the Young Master of the Ubuyashiki Family the moment he enter the room.

Within the four walls of the room, his eyes laid on the table that was placed in the middle of the room as a figure of a woman soaking from her own blood was the one thing that greeted him.

He felt his wife let go of his hand as he slowly walked inside the room. The people inside left to give them the private time he requested for.

The moment the door closed, he started to walk closer to the woman he got to learn about.

"Fuyutsiki Y/n, can you hear me?" His gentle voice rang across the room yet silence was the only thing that responded to him.

He sat on the stool that was close to her as he held his focus on the eyes of the woman who was just staring at the ceiling above them.

"Do you still have the heart to listen for what I'm about to request you with?" He continued noticing she won't bother responding with the torture still felt by her body.

"Do you want to take your life back?" That question finally manages to get a slight movement from the woman as she blinks her eyes from what she heard.

"Even if I did..." It was barely heard with how she tried to let those words out.

It was still painful

"What can I possibly do?" It ends up as a whisper that made Kagaya put his hand above hers to offer his sincere comfort to the woman.

"You can protect the people who suffer the same way you did. Under my wing, killing wouldn't be a sin"

A tear fell from the woman's eyes when those words were stated. Somehow, the slight heavy feeling on her chest lightened even just a little bit.

It became more bearable with the guilt she is now experiencing.

"I just want to be free. But no one wants to save me" she stuttered out as more tears followed that mix with the blood trailing down from her head.

"Now that I freed myself from that man, why do they need to punish me for it?", She started to question her fate as the young man silently listened to her pain.

"I became a sinner because I want to be happy"

Kagaya slightly grip her hand to remind her he is still here with her. Sharing the pain she is going through.

"Another chance. There is a path you can take without going against your morals but at the same time where you can heal" he exclaimed that made the woman glance at him.

"I can give you that"

That was the time Y/n chose the path Kagaya offered her.

And that is to become a Demon Slayer...

Known as the Winter Hashira, in three years, she managed to climb the ranks of the corps without any sight of injury ever being seen on her.

If anyone were able to describe her, a woman who moves with elegance and gentleness that became her advantage on the battlefield.

She kills her target without blood even staining her body.

A woman who finished her job beautifully.

Those were the words of the staff that can usually be hear when someone ask about the quiet woman who always spend her time in a garden.

She looks untouchable like a noble lady. So the others never bother getting along with her.

Yet without a doubt, she maintained her Hashira position compared to the Hashiras where the kids (Future Hashiras) were training under.

It made them doubt her abilities. A woman who seems to have no care about the world.

Until...

In the middle of daylight, after a Hashira meeting. A woman's hand is seen gripping her fellow Hashira's neck.

"Y/n-san! Please calm down" Kanae's voice can be heard on the Estate as the kids (Some Future Hashiras), were silently watching from the window of the Butterfly Mansion.

The man let out a gasp when the hands of the Winter Hashira tighten, blocking his airway.

"Let me make it clear to you about your role. You were chosen to become an example, not a corrupt person" the voice of a woman that is laced with undeniable hatred can be heard as Kanae can't help but close her mouth.

"You have no rights to hurt the kids as if they were your stress reliever. Especially if no mistake was made" the woman let go of the man as they fell on the floor, gasping.

"If you can't control yourself, then you shouldn't be a Hashira" the anger of the woman was clearly seen from how her eyes seem to lighten up like she can kill the person in front of her in a second.

"Y/n-san, you're breaking a rule-"

"The rules don't dictate me. It's my job to correct mistakes, especially entitled people like you." She calmly stated as she wiped her hands with her handkerchief, acting like her blood was not boiling from anger a while ago.

"Don't test me"

That moment changed the perspective of the kids who she defended.

____________________________

Sanemi:

He was fifteen when it all started

Anger...

That was all I felt as I held my friend's deceased body. While the demon's body slowly withered from my vision.

I failed to protect the person who gave a chance on the friendship I never thought would bloom.

I lost another person against the demons.

The stinging pain in my chest was ignored as my vision turn red that i ddin't notice I started to have a rampage and killed every demon I encountered without any mercy.

That when I encountered another lower moon, I finally lost the strength to keep going on as I fell to the ground along with Masachika's body.

I'm Tired...

Tired of being the defender, tired of forcing myself to keep going for the people I failed to save.

Tired of holding on to the hatred I held for the demons.

Where is the peace I first wanted. Will all of that be unreachable to reach?

I didn't have the time to see the head of the lower rank demon decapitate before the silhoutte of the well-known hashira stood in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I utter as her blank gaze look down on me.

Somehow in that little time, I wish to just die.

But someone like her prevents that wish of mine from being granted.

"I'm doing what I promised to the world" she answered my question where the answer was already serve.

I felt myself getting pulled up from the ground that made me tiredly sat up as she crouch in front of me.

"This is one of the challenges you need to get passed through" her presence made me almost didn't realize the help that finally arrive as my friend's body was taken away from me.

I felt the anger that made me numb, set free again as it surround the heart that almost stop beating.

"It's not the end of the world, Sanemi. You can't give up yet"

Her words made me scoff as I finally had the courage to gaze on her own orbs.

"What am I even fighting for?"

It was a question that I should have the answer. But now the grief made my mind a mess that is starting to make me confused.

But one thing I'm sure of was I'm really tired.

"What would I benefit from here?"

I sacrifice so many things yet I don't know what I would receive in the end.

"Is fighting really worth it?"

"Yes" she didn't hesitate, not even a bit from her answer as her firm gaze never left mine.

"Make that anger, that pain your weapon. So you would achieve the very first reason why you decided to put your life in line to protect the others." Her grip on my arm started to loosen as she completely kneel to be on the same level as me.

"You want peace. Not only for yourself but also for the world we live in. You want justice, for yourself and for the people who lost their life on these battle." Her words started to enter my mind as my stiff body softened a little and the burning anger, started to slowly rest in my chest.

"Sanemi, there's a lot of reasons to keep fighting. And one of those is being the savior of many" her gaze slowly turned less icy as she put her words in my head.

Dictated every word, and engrave it to my mind. So the confusion that the pain gave me, can be cleared and answered like I needed.

"The world is not forcing you to keep going. But you can rest so you can continue fighting. Let me be your aid in this time you need someone" she put her hand on her chest as a declaration.

"Then after this, you can grant the dream you wanted for the old you and for the people who you lost along the way"

"As someone who keeps going on this path, let me look after you. Let me stay beside you. As your guide, and as your teacher"

I felt my chest slightly warm up when her words made me feel that I was finally being protected instead of always being the protector.

Someone is finally looking after me like how it was supposed to be.

I finally found someone I thought I didn't need.

Obanai:

He was thirteen

"Little one, come over here" I heard her gentle voice towards my direction as I didn't raise my head to look at her. I tightly grip on the clothes I was holding as Rengoku-san gave me a slight push like it was my cue to go near her as she asked.

With trembling hands, I approached the woman and became wary of the moment I saw how she treated her fellow hashira.

But I unknowingly admire her for standing up for me. Due to the trauma I felt, I still can't help my body to stop trembling when a person gets angry at me.

Only her, who stood up for me.

I slightly flinch when I feel her cold hand touch my warm ones before she gently pulls me closer to her.

She raised the sleeves that were hiding my arms and saw some slight bruises that formed from being beaten by a stick.

"Does it hurt?" Her gentle voice manages to calm my nerves as she rubbed circles on it that gave me the strength to look at her and saw her eyes already staring at my own.

"From now on, you would be under my care so don't worry" she lifted a small smile before caressing my cheeks as I nod, trying to stop myself from crying.

"There, there" she soothes me down when she senses I'm near on breaking down as she sat me on the bed before taking the bottle of cream from the side table.

"We both know you can do it for your dreams, alright?" She exclaimed before she applied the cream on my bruises.

"Y/n-san" I called for her in a shaky voice as she hum and raised her head to look at me.

"Can I cover the lower part of my face?" I asked in almost a hush tone and I saw how her eyes sadly gaze on the scar that was clearly seen on my face.

Sensing her attention was on it, a tear fell on my eyes because of fear and shame.

I heard her close the bottle before I felt her hand behind my head as she brought my head to her chest so I could free my tears that I badly wanted to hide from the world.

"If hiding your insecurities can make you stronger. We can hide those" I heard her as I can't help but seek for her warm more.

After being alone on the cold dungeon on my own family's home. I finally heard the encouragement and felt the warmth I was seeking for.

Giyu:

He was fifteen

Within in the shadows of the corporation, only her who look for my figure. Someone who never wanted to be left alone.

The quiet woman who I always spend my time with when I have no one beside me.

I thought we were only acquainted until she started to remind me of my deceased sister.

Until her actions slowly started to comfort me.

I felt someone hold the wooden sword that I keep swinging towards the trunk of the tree as I forcefully let out my breath while trying to stop my trembling hand.

Another nightmare.

The same nightmare that prevent me from moving forward without any guilt or negative outlook in life that those important people in my life want me to think about.

It never fail to remind me how useless I was in that moment. And right now, I felt like I'm still chained to that trauma.

"Giyu" I heard her call for my name first that I snap from my thoughts but my grip on the wooden handle didn't falter.

"Go easy on yourself. Don't degrade the strength you have within"

Her monotone voice didn't help me that I almost want to leave until her next words made me want to stay.

"Because you're just a kid" I lifted my head in a speed of light and my teary eyes met her warm ones.

"As someone who watch you from the sidelines, you're better than what you always thought of" her tone started to soften as she immediately took the sword the moment I began to let go.

"So take a rest"

I finally heard the assurance I always tell myself. The words I want to use as a barrier to my own nightmare.

I was better than I know.

And hearing that from her became my comfort in those silent fights on my own mind.

I finally have someone who would be my light on this dark night