#the worlds my oyster i’m the pearl

[paladin-n-cleric]

talia talks more like talia rocks

💗🪨!!!!!!!!

[official-lucifers-child]

What’s more embarrassing: super loud tummy growl or having pants fall down in a public area. From personal experience I’d say the tummy growl because it happened during the SAT and I about faded from existence

i choose not to be embarrassed by things i can’t control. make a joke out of it, so you are no longer the joke, if you must. otherwise just laugh along with the others.

[cagesings]

i love beta editor and how it remembers my tags :))

[storiesoflilies]

moments in twilight

synopsis: oh, innocent child of blood and bones. you cry as if your heart bleeds fire. has nobody ever taught you to burn them all first? w.c: 13k.

pairing: heianera!ryomen sukuna x f!reader

warnings: childhood friends to lovers, major character death. mentions of cannibalism, violence, and slight gore. ANGST! sfw, but mdni!

a/n: this was requested by this enthusiastic nonie! i hope you enjoy this and that it’s everything you wanted <3 a massive shout to @spookuna for being my biggest supporter and cheerleader, because i genuinely couldn’t have done this without her!

divider / art / ao3 / @ficsforgaza

the first sight of her fate didn’t seem real, like something out of a dream.

she couldn’t understand what – or who – she was looking at.

perhaps it was a fully materialized specter born somewhere from the deepest recesses of her imagination, unknown even to herself. it certainly seemed that way to her; she was only six and knew nothing of the horrors of the world, except for those that came to life in scary stories.

her ghost was digging feverishly into the earth, its fingers curled like claws, like it was searching for something. it was a dirty, scrawny little thing, wearing no clothes except for a soiled fundoshi that looked as if it was strung together by luck and willpower. every so often, it would pull something stringy and limp into its mouth, devouring it rabidly, though she couldn’t make out what it was.

why would her imagination come up with something so… awful?

it wasn’t a pretty, or kind looking ghost to be sure, and she scratched her arms as an uncomfortable itch settled into her skin.

the specter paused, like a fawn that had been discovered.

and turned.

no… it was a wolf, but it was really just a boy.

a boy that stared at her with a basin full of blood in his eyes. a garden that should have been filled with a gorgeous array of ruby roses, was instead full of violence and malice, of death and root rot. this was not a normal, or happy, sort of boy like the boisterous ones in her village.

she still thought she was dreaming, still believed the boy was just a ghost.

because what else could he be? real boys didn’t have a second pair of small eyes beneath their normal ones. even if his were closed, his two pale lids shut tightly like an oyster.

would there be precious little red, red, red pearls underneath them?

a gentle gust of wind swept through the trees, ruffling the boys matted locks of hair, and he vanished from her sight like a puff of dust.

surely now it was a dream.

real boys couldn’t just disappear.

until she felt all the air knocked out from her lungs as she crashed backwards into the earth, sharp fingernails digging into the soft skin of her forearms, and the boy’s crimson eyes were consuming her in his fire.

she knew then it wasn’t a dream, because dreams couldn’t hurt her like this.

she kicked and struggled, her ears ringing from the force of her head knocking into the ground, screaming until one of his dirty hands covered her mouth. she stilled immediately, tears pricking the corner of her eyes, and sliding down the apples of her cheeks.

“you can’t steal,” the boy hissed, his voice sharp and pointed like nails, and he shook her roughly as he repeated like a mantra. “can’t steal, can’t steal.”

she whimpered and nodded frantically, as sharp stones from the earth pierced her skin, adding to her misery. the boy licked his lips, a snake tasting the air with its forked tongue, and bent down closer to her ear.

“i’m hungry” he whispered, a dusting of glee coating his words like powdery snow. “i want to eat you.”

the sky was haunted with the last light of the sunset, like the cries of a mourning mother, swirling with hues of orange and purple. she wondered if she was going to become a ghost that could only existed in her own mother’s dreams.

for the first time in her meager existence, she felt her childish immortality slipping between her tiny fingers.

something uncomfortably hot and wet spread out from beneath her thighs.

the boy sniffed once, twice, with his nose upturned.

then he cried out angrily, his red eyes flashing in the twilight hour, and shoved her roughly into the ground before releasing his grip on her, recoiling defensively infront of his hole of dirt. she scrambled up ungracefully to her feet, her chest heaving, wincing as she tasted bitter soil and salty tears on her tongue.

“yucky! dirty, dirty!” the boy spat indignantly, hypocritically, as if he wasn’t more soiled than she was.

he was rolling in the dirt now, rubbing his face and body with it as if it were soap, as if the coarse earth could wash her touch away from him. she took two steps backwards from him, feeling an eerie charge of energy settling into the edge of the forest.

like the spark of a flame that could ignite into a wildfire.

she took another slow step back.

and then another.

and another.

until she turned and fled, like a squawking bird escaping the grasp of a hawk, her short legs crying out as she sprinted faster than she ever had in her life. she ran all the way from the edge of the forest, up the slight incline of the main pathway through her village, and finally crashed through the doorway of her home, startling her mother who was scrubbing away at dirtied clothes in a bucketful of soapy water.

her mother gasped loudly, alarm rising like a looming mountain, always there and ever present. “whatever happened to you? you’re all scratched.”

lie.

she wailed loudly, messy snot dribbling down her nose and chin and right onto her mother’s worn, muted robes. her mother shushed her gently, bundling her child into her arms and pressing comforting kisses to her forehead.

“what happened, my dearest love?” her mother repeated, whispering softly and soothingly.

lie.

she somehow knew that if she told the truth, it would only invite chaos and misery into her home.

“i p-played in the forest a-and falled,” she finally hiccuped, her bottom lip pouting and wobbling.

her mother cooed, wiping away her tears with a warm, rough thumb. “you fell? my sweet, you’ll be alright. oh, oh. why have you wet yourself?”

more mucus ran down from her nose, and she wiped it messily with her palm as she shrugged her shoulders and said nothing. she let her mother fuss over her, completely unresponsive as she dunked her tiny body into a wooden bucket, washing away the touch of the wolfish, snake boy.

until all that remained of him were the little scratches dotting her arms – rough and ridged, lines carved into the trunks of trees.

she thought of him all through the night, even when her mother had tucked her into bed and tenderly kissed her brow. everything was unknown to her now, nothing was certain. was he actually like an animal, capable of following her scent and finding her here?

would he gorge on her until all that was left of her was red, red, red?

༺ ✤ ༻

the boy had taken over her life – he was everywhere, in everything.

haunting her.

taunting her.

filling her mind with paranoia and warped visions of his red eyes staring at her, always. she saw him in between the boards of the walls and floor, and in every bite of food she took. the wispy tendrils of his hands possessed hers, eating right alongside her. he was in the blood of her scrapes, which always seemed to reopen whenever she bathed, and in her tears as she whimpered quietly, unable to sleep as she hid beneath her blanket.

as if that could save her from him.

it was in the boy’s nature to haunt her with his hunt, to frighten and consume her every thought.

she couldn’t expect anything less than that; it was who he was.

she’d seen it in his eyes, a peephole into the true nature of his soul, and it was full of violence and cruelty and…

sadness.

… and beauty.

he was really just a sad, beautiful little boy.

a boy just as old as she was. a boy who had somehow been put on a path of loneliness, without light, kindness, or love.

it had to be some sort of twisted fascination she harbored for the boy, the same way she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the blood trickling from his scratches, or stop listening to the stories of ghosts and monsters in the night.

maybe it was his strange power that was possessing her, gripping her like quicksand and sucking her further and further down into his madness.

yes, that had to be it.

because why else would she be heading straight towards the edge of the forest, to him?

she tightly grasped a small bowl of rice and vegetables between her little hands, swiped from her own dinner right beneath her mother’s nose. it had long since cold, and she hoped the ghost wouldn’t mind. it was an offering, a desperate plea to break free from his curse that haunted her.

snap!

snap! crackle, snap!

a few twigs snapped loudly beneath her feet – a damning announcement.

she froze, nearly dropping her bowl, breathing quick and shallow puffs of air.

snap!

another one, this time from behind her.

she whirled around, and there he was.

the boy stood beside a thick tree trunk, his head cocked to the side and his eyes widened into full crimson moons. he was even more disheveled than he was a week ago, with mud caked to his skin and hair like dried, flaky clay. his ribs were more prominent too, scarily so, and his cheeks were gaunt like a skeletons.

he was weak.

far too weak, she realized.

she immediately extended her arms out, the bowl teetering on the edge of her fingertips, and breathlessly said, “yours.”

the boy grunted, “huh?”

snap! snap! crackle!

he’d taken a few steps forward, carefully, ever so fearfully.

she squeezed her eyes shut, turning her head up towards the twilight sky, her heart beating against her ribcage as if trying to escape, and tried more clearly, “food, for you.”

he was in front of her in a flash, his breath brushing over her cheeks. she cracked open an eye to peek at him, watching as he eyed the bowl with suspicion, sniffing loudly. he gagged offensively when his nose wandered too close to a vegetable, his tongue stretching far out from his mouth.

she half thought he was going to smack the bowl to the ground and lunge for her instead.

he’s going to eat me.

until he snatched it from her instead, retreating back behind the tree trunk.

she blinked, her lashes butterfly wings fluttering in a breeze.

there were the sounds of scoffing, rabid breathing and snuffling noises, and then nothing at all.

hiccup!

had he finished all of it already?

the boy’s face peeked out from behind the trunk, peering at her owlishly.

“why you back?” he asked simply, a touch of softness in his voice, the edge of a knife chipped and dulled.

she shrugged her shoulders. “you’re hungry.”

“but, what if i eat you?”

“tomorrow i’ll give you more, then you can’t eat me.”

he fully revealed himself, crouched low to the earth like a cat, staring up at her with his pupils blown. “you promise?”

she gulped. “i promise.”

“if you don’t, then i eat you!” he exclaimed, lips pulled back over his fangs in a threatening snarl, his hackles raised and shaking.

oddly, she didn’t feel afraid.

the ghost didn’t have the same malice as before; she could see his vulnerability in the way his fingers trembled. she felt it travel through the mountain air, settling onto her skin like a layer of dust. it wriggled like maggots, burrowing into her flesh and making her skin crawl.

her chest constricted painfully.

she felt so unbelievably and overwhelmingly sorry for him.

the boy scrunched his nose. “why’r you sad?”

“i’m not!” she replied quickly, a touch indignantly. she knew he would probably get angry if he knew how much she pitied him.

it was silent for quite some time as he stared at her, and she fidgeted in her spot. she knew she had to let him do this, to stay perfectly still like a rabbit in the reeds, as the wolf made its mind up whether it was hungry or not.

it seemed to work.

the boy huffed and collapsed to the ground in an ungraceful heap, his legs splayed out before him as he seemingly ignored her – a begrudging acceptance of her existing in his space.

she lowered herself to his level, the ground scraping beneath her legs, while maintaining that somewhat safe distance between them. her hands began to search for and pick up various rocks and twigs to play with, because she didn’t know what else to do to pass the time. the boy had his head held to the side, a shade of confusion painted over his cheeks as he clocked onto her every move.

she pretended he wasn’t there, ignoring the rising wave of bitter panic in her throat, and the fact that he was slowly inching closer to her, crawling to her like a prowling panther.

he sat beside her now, clearly observing how she sat with her legs crossed, then glanced towards his own legs kneeling into the dirt. she never stopped playing, pretending to be in her own world, watching from the corner of her eyes as the boy moved his body to mimic her posture and sitting position.

a giggle threatened to bubble out from between her lips.

the boy picked up a twig from her small pile, then retracted, looking at her with wonderful apprehension.

she gave him her full attention. “you can play too.”

another head tilt, and his pink lips curved downwards.

“…play?”

oh.

“have you never played before?”

“no, show me.”

and she did, without knowing how to really explain it. she told stories of how the twigs could be birds soaring between the gaps in the clouds, or the rocks could be fish darting in between the strands of a kelp forest. all the while, the boy was transfixed, and she began to really understand him for what he truly was.

scared and lonely, with an insatiable curiosity for new things – especially for her.

she only hoped she could live up to it.

༺ ✤ ༻

she discovered the boy’s name a fortnight later.

ryomen sukuna.

a strange sensation ran down her spine when she heard it for the first time, like a delicate lash from a whip made of fire.

she decided to ignore it.

they played together everyday since then, against the deep backdrop of the forest, and always during the duskiness of twilight. she would still sneak him scraps of whatever food she could spare, feeling guilty as her mother, who was none the wiser, always praised her for finishing her meals. her father would raise a questioning brow at her whenever she asked to play so late in the day, chiding her for being reckless, even if she passionately justified – albeit, borderline erraticly – that her imaginary friend would be very lonely without her.

“but why now? why can’t you play during the day with your… friend?”

“because he only comes out when the sun goes down.”

maybe sukuna really was a ghost.

she liked to hold onto that superstition. it made her lies a little less white, because he definitely wasn’t a figment of her imagination.

but it was still a lie, a pearlescent river of alabaster, and it had continued to flow strong for three years now.

she was nine years old, and during their time together, sukuna had only revealed glimpses of himself in little tidbits. it was like a sweet bite of plum on a hot summer’s day, satiating her for a time, but always leaving her hungry for more.

“where do you sleep?”

“i dig a big hole, you wanna see?”

“why do you only come after the sun?”

“i’m here all the time, you just don’t see me.”

but sometimes.

just sometimes, and only if she timed her questions right.

then sukuna would indulge her in just a little more.

“why are your eyes red?”

ryomen paused, a wickedly sharpened two-pronged stick in his hand, and shrugged nonchalantly. “i was hungry in my mother’s tummy, so i ate my brother.”

(there was a great clap of thunder somewhere far away, and the great sinful cut of the world bled just a little more.)

they were quiet for a long time after that.

he’d resumed stabbing the earth with his wooden weapon, completely unperturbed.

as if what he’d said was the most normal thing, like it was as easy as drinking the rain that fell from the pine leaves.

sukuna often said twisted things – things that reminded her of who she was really dealing with. although he had somewhat softened around her, he was still as wild and unforgiving as the mountainside he lived on.

she could never ever show him that it put her on edge.

still, much to her own shock, she was growing used to the depravity.

not that sukuna was always wicked, no. he would always ask her things, and she’d try to assume an air like her mother, knowledgeable and benevolent, as she guided him. when he wanted to know how she ate without using her hands, she took a pair of chopsticks from her kitchen and showed him how to use them. he’d sniff her hair, alarmingly too close, and asked how it was so much softer than his.

so one evening, she took him to the river where some of the villagers bathed during the day, and taught him how to wash himself.

“show me,” he’d ordered, his characteristic head tilt an open book of confusion.

he was more perplexed when she became flustered and refused to do it.

the ensuing conversation, in which she explained why she couldn’t just do that, was extremely awkward to say the least.

but she was even more surprised the next day when she came to play, and he was awkwardly standing there, his cheeks as pink as the once-hidden peaches in his hair. she’d stopped straight in her tracks, almost not recognizing her ghost without all the grime and dirt covering him.

he’s so beautiful…

ryomen blinked slowly, catlike, staring at his unusually clean feet with something akin to bashfulness. “what?”

“nothing,” she smiled, gentle like the summer rain that had just started to fall. “let’s play.”

༺ ✤ ༻

it was autumn now.

the leaves of the maple trees had turned into molten gold and burnt orange peels, and the remaining blooms had already died out petal by petal. there was a chill bite in the air, a promise of snow and piercing cold to come. she hated when the weather was like this, she worried about sukuna living in the wild in such conditions, and it only made it harder to go out and play with him in the evenings.

he, however, enjoyed it whenever the weather turned cold – it soothed the fire in his blood.

or so he said.

sukuna was lying down beside her, saccharine on the grass whilst looking up at the sky. he was wearing some washed-out linen clothes, a size too big, that she had managed to steal one day from the village boys bathing in the river. the deep plum wine in the skies mixed with the blood in his eyes – all four of them – the two colors swirling and teasingly touching each other.

two nights ago, the wind had been howling like wolves, screaming of murder and spilled blood in the darkness. there had been a strange heaviness in the air, a sort of static, like lighting biding its time to strike.

when she saw sukuna the next morning, he had a proud grin on his face, his teeth and mouth speckled with blood. all his eyes were wide open, staring at her as if to say ‘look at us, look at us!’

she knew that he had committed some sort of depravity in the night to have earned the transformation.

but he never told her.

perhaps she was never meant to know.

they were always alert, darting between everything and anything that moved even in the slightest – from the leaves rustling high up a tree, to the birds soaring high up in the sky, and to the blades of grass tickled by the wind.

and her.

one always rested on her.

“ryo,” she started, ripping fistfuls of grass. “do you like to play in the snow?”

the eye fixed on her rolled in annoyance. “no, and stop calling me that,” he huffed.

she rolled her eyes, blowing a hot-pink raspberry at him. “yes you do, liar! i know you do.”

she knew that sukuna loved to be teased, but only when he was carefree and relaxed. during moments like now, with the ghost of the permanent scowl sewn into his features unraveled into wispy threads of gold. he was seriously mulling over what she had just said, something she knew he also enjoyed – untangling mysteries and puzzles in his mind, a satisfied gleam in his eyes when he finally figured them out.

“i don’t… like anything.”

she stilled.

a blade of grass fell from her grip, and she gnawed on her bottom lip.

why did she feel so embarrassed?

he wasn’t really referring to her at all – and yet, it all felt so personal.

“okay,” was all she could muster weakly, barely a whisper, resuming her onslaught on the grass like nothing mattered at all.

maybe none of it ever did.

sukuna turned his head and stared at her strangely, but said nothing.

thwack!

he was grinning wildly now. “let me chase you.”

she wiped away the raindrops that had splattered onto her cheek, a slight sting on her thigh from his smack. “i don’t wanna play.”

“but… you like this game,” sukuna frowned, head tilted, rolling over with his elbows digging into the grass. “why not?”

“i jus-ow! stop hitting me!”

“start running then.”

so she did, quite begrudgingly.

her footsteps crackled loudly against the forest floor, as the dark grey clouds darkened even more and the rain fell faster, and the sun dipped further behind a neighboring mountain. sukuna was hot on her trail, and she knew how easily he could catch up to her in an instant, but he never did. it was as if he switched off whatever made him less human during their games. maybe it was to give her a fighting chance, or perhaps it was entertaining to him to know he could always win whenever he wanted to.

if she got to the village fast enough, she would win today.

she swung herself against a tree trunk to propel herself forward, imagining she was an agile deer leaping between the trees.

get to the village.

win.

run, you can wi-

her leg gave way beneath her, sliding up in an arc as she slipped backward. her head hit the ground, and stars and minuscule black moons danced in her eyes amidst the silver clouds.

sukuna appeared above her, his face upside down, all of his eyes on her with what looked something like panic in his irises. it made her heart skip a beat, followed by a swarming terror of bats and a throbbing swell of pain in her left ankle.

and then… sheer, crippling embarrassment.

she started to wail loudly.

big salty droplets squeezed out from her tearducts, running to her temples and mixing with the rain in the dirt. sukuna's face contorted painfully, his mouth pulled into a grimace, his eyes darting over her like a hummingbird flitting between flowers.

"s-stop doing that," he tried to order harshly, but was cruelly betrayed by the shaky wobbling his lip.

snot messily dribbled down her nose as her ankle started to throb more intensely. "it h-hurts!"

"stop crying!" sukuna exclaimed, his fists clenched and shaking. "just stop."

she made the mistake of moving her leg, and cried out as fiery pain licked a smoldering trail straight up to her head. "ryo! please. make it stop, make it stop, make it stop."

his face fell, crumbling into pieces. with a tenderness she had never known, and the sleeves of his shirt falling over his hands, sukuna gently held the sides of her face.

she stilled, a drop of crystal suspended in time.

he hushed her, soothingly. "it's okay. just... please. stop crying."

she sniffled, broken sobs stuttering out from her lips, until they fizzed out altogether. all the while, sukuna never let her go, their foreheads brushing against each other, his peach frizz blowing in the wind. oh, how she wished she could see his face. she wanted to know that he wasn't faking this level of care – of emotion – if nothing really mattered to him.

sukuna lifted his head, his blood eyes glossy and pained, and whispered, "does it still hurt?"

her bottom lip trembled dangerously and she nodded. sukuna sighed, his hands leaving her face and scrunching his hair.

"i-," he paused, nervous. "let me try something."

sukuna looked at her expectantly, eyes widened and pleading. she nodded again, not sure exactly what she was agreeing to, he moved slowly, cautiously, as if any sudden move would set off her pain again. all the while, his gaze was trained on her, settled and pooling on her already swelling ankle.

he breathed out shakily, placing a rough palm over her warm skin, and she whimpered as a piping hot sensation seeped through to her bone. it was nothing like pain, but it felt like sukuna. it was a strange feeling, like little bubbles popping on the skin he touched. she knew then what she was feeling – his power. sukuna was concentrating hard, little grunts escaping his lips every so often, his brow deeply furrowed into a valley of ridges.

the power rose, a tidal wave of fire and blood, and then collapsed into nothing.

he hissed in frustration, sharply pulling his hand back from her ankle, head bowed almost… shamefully.

it was quiet for a heartbeat longer before sukuna muttered, “i’m sorry, i can’t fix you. i’m not strong enough.”

her heart swelled, and she smiled weakly. “it’s okay, ryo.”

he looked up at the dark sky, mouth opening and closing as he chased his words and settled on, “its going to be night soon.”

she looked up too, watching the veil of the silver crescent moon lifting. “mhm.”

she sat up slowly, sukuna immediately turning to watch her. “i-i don’t think i can walk, ryo,” she mumbled. “how can i get home?”

“but… you can’t stay here.”

“i know.”

“the bears will hunt you.”

“ryo, i know!”

his head tilted and a spark lit in his eyes.

“i can carry you!” sukuna blurted out, his chest puffed out proudly. “i’ll bring you to where i sleep. it’s warm there, and then the bears can’t eat you because i’ll be there.”

“… you can fight a bear?”

“what do you think i eat now? i told you I didn’t need your stinky vegetables anymore!”

she blinked three times.

“okay, and then what?”

“and then… i can figure it out in the morning. i’ll keep trying to make you better when you sleep so you can go home.”

without hearing another word from her, sukuna swept her into his arms, eliciting a startled yelp from her. he settled into a brisk pace, taking them both much farther away from the village. the light darkened considerably this deep into the forest, the trees hugging each other so tightly that hardly any of the sun’s waning light could pierce between the leaves.

suddenly, he stopped.

sukuna hunched over, her cheek squishing against his chest, and gently placed her down into a cavernous burrow.

"you really weren't joking when you said you sleep in a hole," she half-heartedly joked, looking around.

he scoffed, crossing his legs and sitting beside her injured side, halfway turned towards the entrance to the burrow. "you don't like it?"

"i never said that! it's just... different."

"not all of us live in a nice home."

the air turned slightly sour, lemons tainting his softness, and they were completely silent. the sounds of the night became louder then; strange animal cries off in the distance, and the rain pelting down from outside, steady drip drip drip of droplets falling from the entrance. sukuna was right, his burrow was reasonably warm. almost, dare she say it, actually comfortable.

he was still beside her, a hand pressed lightly to her injury, his power ebbing and rushing forward like a wave against the shore. as the night grew longer, sukuna seemed to be getting more and more agitated, hissing lowly as he failed at every attempt to heal her. she couldn't sleep regardless of his noises; the enormity of the situation she was in was too jarring. what if a bear discovered their sanctuary? what would her parents be thinking right now? sukuna had to be hungry, as well tired from expending his power. could he really fight a bear if it came down to it?

"ryo?"

"go to sleep."

"but i-"

"shut up, or i'll let the bears eat you."

"ryo! i just wanted to ask you something."

he groaned in annoyance. "what then?"

"earlier, when you said you didn't like anything. did you mean it?"

"well... yes. i don't lie."

"oh, yeah. i know."

sukuna tilted his head, both left eyes rolling towards her. "why did you get sad when i said that?"

heat rose to her cheeks. "did not!"

"you did so! i felt you get sad! you’re getting sad again now"

she fidgeted uncomfortably. "because!"

"because?"

"because, because- ugh! because then that means you don't like me, okay? and that hurts my feelings.”

red eyes flashed in the dark. “why do you care if i like you?”

“because we’re-you… you’re my friend. of course i care if you like me.”

“but, what if i don’t care?”

her heart dropped, and a fresh tear prickled the corner of her eye. “you don’t?” she mumbled quietly, a drop in an ocean of naive, childish feelings.

sukuna’s face crumbled again, and he gripped her ankle just a fraction tighter. “no! i mean, yes! i do care.”

he bashfully looked away, mumbling under his breath before he said a bit louder, “i like you.”

she perked right up at that. “you do?”

“mhm.”

“you promise?”

a low grumble. “promise.”

༺ ✤ ༻

for five days and five nights, she was in another world.

a world where all the memories of her past were washed away by the swirling green of the deep forest. it was an almost cathartic experience, a transition from one plane of existence to the next – one drawn in dripping red ink, a solitary existence that belonged only to ryomen sukuna.

or, at least, it was easier to imagine it that way.

otherwise, the painful pangs of guilt would strike her violently whenever her thoughts strayed to her village and family. if she paused and closed her eyes, she could feel the steady thrum of her mother’s grief, like an earthquake reverberating across the distance between them. it was all too much for her young mind to bear.

and so, she willingly slipped through the doorway into a new reality, where it was just her and her crimson ghost.

during that time, she had learned how to read him.

his anger was a lashing snake hidden between the rocks – wickedly sharp and quick to strike her with venomous words. they would spread quickly though her blood, making her huddle into herself, perfectly still, like a mouse meeting its most unfortunate end.

fortunately for her, she was only bitten once, and the snake had only acted out of hunger, not genuine malice.

if sukuna’s anger had been real, she doubted she would have lived to see the next sunrise.

his apology came much later after he had returned from the hunt, a satiated tiger slow to act. the only acknowledgement of his remorse was a silent head pat with a bloody palm.

his fear was iron claws scratching against a rock, piercingly grating and scraping at the walls of her heart. if sukuna was fearful, she knew it by the way he stalked and paced outside the burrow, a whip strike away from pouncing on anything that moved even slightly out of the ordinary.

“there are more people in the forest,” sukuna would mutter darkly during those fearful fits. “they're shouting your name.”

“did they see you?”

he responded with nothing more than a pointed look.

but above all, it was his kindness that was most present.

she first noticed it in the way sukuna corrected himself around her, protecting her from certain aspects of his lifestyle. for instance, when she saw the blood on his hands after a kill, or saw how horrified she was when he offered her raw, dripping meat from a deer he had just killed. it was in the way he had immediately changed his ways – washing his hands after a hunt, and skinning and butchering his kills far from the burrow so she wouldn’t see a thing.

it was also in the way he pretended he wasn’t purposely foraging berries for her, dropping them onto her lap like he had just randomly stumbled across them. it was in his stubborn refusal to give up on healing her every night when he thought she was asleep, and in how he treated her like precious sugar glass – so very careful in how he handled her.

it shouldn’t have been so surprising to discover that ryomen sukuna was neither cruel nor mad.

he was still that lonely boy from all those years ago, still learning how to be kind while yearning and searching for love.

one day, she saw him play with fire between his fingertips as if it were nothing extraordinary.

she saw how the blood in his eyes came alive, like dancing waves of a turbulent red sea. when he looked at her, she didn't expect him to smile so gently as he started a small fire and cooked her meat for her.

after sukuna had shown her more of his power, the cracks in his soul seemed to split apart, and his fire teemed and spilled out uncontrollably. he finally began to open up to her, telling her things she had always wanted to discover, along refreshingly childish ramblings.

“you know, i actually didn’t mind eating your stinky vegetables. yeah.”

“deer aren’t actually that pretty, but watching them when they’re still is… relaxing?”

“yeah, i lied before. i do like playing in the snow, especially throwing it at you.”

but some of the worst things would also spill out – things she would have preferred to never know, because they were dark and cruel enough to change the way she viewed the world.

“i didn’t mean to eat my brother, but i was just really hungry in my mother’s tummy, and she wasn’t feeding us.”

“she called me a demon for what i did.”

“no, i don’t know know where she is now, and i don’t know about my father too.”

“i do… feel a bit bad about eating my brother, because he was hurting.”

there was a stretched, almost foreboding silence before sukuna finally asked the question that must have been on his mind since the day they met.

“are you afraid of me?”

the fire spit and fizzled, and she hissed as a spark danced dangerously close to her skin.

“no, ryo. you’re my best friend.”

“really?!”

“well, duh. you saved me.”

he shuffled ever so slightly closer, their arms just about to touch, and mumbled, “so did you.”

she really believed she could have stayed with sukuna forever.

but her new world was shattered on the morning of the sixth day, as if the cosmic rulings of the world had decreed that they'd both had enough of a good thing.

still, it was all her fault – it had to be.

she was the one who insisted that she was too cold, that the chill in the air was day beyond what she could tolerate. she felt the wet tears clinging to her lashes were about to freeze over, and sukuna could not stand to see her cry. so, despite his own warnings, he lit her a fire for her during the day and watched nervously as the smoke rose high above the trees.

it wasn't long before the hunters came.

they came silently, prowling and closing in on them both.

and sukuna knew it.

he was bristling defensively, his neck hairs rising, eyes closed, and head bowed in the direction of a bush that had rustled unnaturally. the hunters crept forward cautiously, eyeing the boy with barely concealed suspicion, while beckoning for her to come with them.

she stayed put, pretending she was a statue of ice that couldn’t understand a thing.

a hunter tightened his grip on his bow.

another nocked an arrow.

and sukuna opened his eyes.

chaos erupted, a whirlwind of metal and feathers and red, red, red.

the hunters charged forward, consumed by a fear they could not rationally explain – of demons and monsters possessing their hearts and minds. but sukuna was faster than all of them, disappearing in a flash, and reappearing to hurl a hunter against a tree.

the poor souls had no clue what they were up against.

she knew sukuna could – and would – kill them all.

"no! no! no!" she screamed, heaving and desperately clawing at her face. “please.”

somehow, he could understand her amidst the shouts and cries of anguish from the men who had come for her.

(he always did, he always would.)

the boy of blood and fire stilled, dropping his hands to his sides, and the wolves descended upon him instantly.

she screamed once more as a hunter seized her, dragging her away from the fray of madness. all the while, sukuna remained curled in a fetal position, all of his eyes locked on her retreating figure as he endured the the blows to his body with stoic silence.

only his eyes betrayed his pain.

༺ ✤ ༻

her heart was weak.

it could only beat with half its strength, as if it couldn’t be bothered to do what was expected of it.

when she was returned to the village, to the nearly suffocating embrace of her weeping mother, she was hailed as a miracle – a little girl who had somehow survived a demon. she was cherished and fussed over by the whole village, her family showered with gifts of millet and rice, plenty of dried boar to survive the winter, and stone amulets for protection against the evil that had touched them.

meanwhile, sukuna had escaped.

the hunters had said the demon vanished into the highest peaks of the mountains, where they could not follow. they bowed low and deep to her mother, their knees buckling as they vowed vengeance on the scourge of the mountain. but she knew it was all for show. they were completely terrified of him, too proud to admit it, and so the mere memory of sukuna was spat on and desecrated by the other villagers.

oh, if only they knew the truth of it all.

it took a fortnight for her heartstrings to stop aching from the pain of being ripped apart from sukuna, and even longer for her piercing wails to cease every night before she slept. her tears burned, tears of fire and salt, made from sukuna's precious blood that had dripped down his face as he was beaten.

all because of her.

her parents couldn't fathom her sheer anguish, perplexed and frightened by its intensity, and only able to explain it as the effect of a demon. all they could do was pray for her recovery, and the rest of the village did the same.

in the beginning, when she had exhausted all her energy from wailing and crying, she would peer into the darkness of the room. through the gaps in the walls of her home, she willed and prayed so fervently that she would one day see four red orbs peering back at her.

but twelve winters and summers came and went without sukuna, and she began to wonder if had all been just a dream. an elaborate tale of an imaginary friend her mind had tricked her into believing was real. a ghost that was never meant to be, one she ought to bury in the deepest recesses of her memories where he could finally rest.

but, oh, how lifeless her world was without him.

nobody could understand or see how the anguish swirled beneath her skin. she didn’t even have the words to describe it to herself anymore, other than she was not doing well at all and felt sick all the time.

how very isolating it all was.

she was fifteen now, and all her parents could talk to her about was marriage.

“you are a young lady now!” her mother would gush loudly, almost nagging. “one who survived a demon, and every man who passes through the village wants your hand.”

she tried not to think about it at all, but it loomed larger and larger over her head as the years passed, and she doubted she could remain as she was for much longer. in those moments, her thoughts would always stray to sukuna, and how if she could have married anybody, then it would have been him.

it was the only thing that felt right.

she tried not to dwell on that for too long.

but trying not thinking about ryomen sukuna was like telling the sky not to cry.

there were often tales from afar that the traveling merchants told the villagers as they stopped for respite and to sell their crafts – stories full of horrors and atrocities. entire villages, along with all their inhabitants, were found burnt to cinders or encased in a tomb of ice, with no rhyme or reason why, simply there one minute and gone the next. there were accounts of cries and calls from strange creatures in the night, born from suffering and pain. some spoke of certain people being able to wield magic, only to be found mangled and nearly destroyed by others of the same power.

she would think of sukuna after hearing those stories and wonder what kind of life he was living.

was he just as lonely as she was?

or was he happy indulging in the violence of his nature?

then, one fateful day, her father placed a hand on her head fondly and said, “tonight is your omiai, dearest. you will finally meet the man the nakodo has chosen as your husband.”

and that was that.

that night, she stared into the eyes of the man she was to marry.

they were kind, warm – so very plain. he spoke a little to her, mainly about how he could offer her a better life than what she had now. something more comfortable, with a better house, more food, and even kimonos made of silk.

it all sounded… safe.

reliable.

her family was happy she was marrying such a man, and assured her that they would come and visit her in her new home once she had settled in.

she didn’t care about that at all.

all she could think about was red, red, red, and how it felt like the ultimate betrayal.

she could do nothing but nod placidly at them all.

really, she should count her blessings that she was about the same age as her soon-to-be husband, and that he seemed likely to treat her with kindness and respect. maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could convince herself that she would find some measure of fulfillment in her marriage.

she could learn to accept it all, even force herself to be happy.

even if a part of her could never be scrubbed clean from all the red.

the day before she left for her betrothed’s village, she went to the clearing in the forest where it all began. it was midday, the sun high in the air, and the sweet bite of winter kissed her cheeks as she stood there clutching the white silks that had been gifted to her.

“things are going to change for me,” she whispered to the trees that had long watched over her and sukuna, her head bowed low. "and i do not believe i will ever return here.”

desperation gripped her in a suffocating hold, hooking its claws deep into her spine. she wondered if there was a string that connected her to sukuna. a red-stained one, dripping in their blood. would he feel it wherever he was in the world if she pulled it hard enough?

if she tried, would he come for her?

(a gust of wind, a spark of flame, and a ripple of blood.)

she had realized some time ago what she had felt as a child.

but it was still a terrifying thing to admit to herself, even now, in this quiet corner of the world, that she had once been in love with ryomen sukuna.

it was best to bury it here with the trees.

tonight was the eve of her wedding, and all she wanted was to have just stayed there.

it was supposed to have been a night of solitary peace.

the last one she would ever have, with only the sound of the herbal bathwater rippling and the scent of yuzu in the air to keep her tethered to this world.

it had all been overturned in an instant.

the monsters came swiftly down from the mountainside in the night, slaughtering and tearing their way through every home in the village. the night was full of brutal screams, blood moons and snow falling from the weeping clouds. she could see them, but others weren’t so lucky. that brief look of terrified confusion was haunting – blood bubbling from their mouths as their throats were slashed by something they couldn’t see.

she stared at her fiancé, both of them trapped beneath a wooden beam, as his eyes, wide and lifeless, had not a single trace of the kindness they had once held. death had never been so close to her before, she could almost feel the cold kiss of its blade against her throat, beckoning her closer to the other side.

their assailant was a thin creature, broken and bent, with a feminine form. it licked the dripping blood of her betrothed from its wickedly sharp claws, unperturbed to the rest of the carnage unfolding around it.

“i miss you, i miss you,” it hissed in a low, screeching voice. “i love you, i miss you.”

the demon turned to her, eyeless, with only a mouth full of teeth and a thousand tongues, as if it could smell the life and heat fading from her blood. it crawled sideways towards her, its scraggly black hair brushing the ground in front of her face.

it paused, dipping its face down towards her, its reeking, snarling breaths close to her ear.

she screamed weakly as it sank its teeth into her shoulder.

soon, all our ghosts will dance together.

pale pink rose petals fluttered from the sky, falling along with the snow.

how beautiful is death?

“hmph, idiot.”

a flash of a thousand blades, and the world turned red and then black.

༺ ✤ ༻

it was the smell of incense that coaxed her back from the dreams of death.

honeyed rays of light danced behind her closed eyelids, their warmth caressing her brow and lips in golden life. when her eyes finally opened, she was convinced that she must have already been reborn. her body was wrapped in opulent silk sheets, delicately embroidered with intricate gold and silver flowers. a byobu depicting a blooming cherry blossom tree stood a few paces in front of the bed.

this was a bedroom of royalty, dripping with extravagance.

she felt as if she didn’t belong here.

but when she pinched the skin of her forearm, felt her legs moving and toes wriggling, and heard the sheets rustling loudly, she knew that this was all very real. all the blood that had been spilled was real, the kind man who would have given her a good life was truly dead, along with his entire village.

“you're awake then are you?”

she froze.

that voice.

it can't be.

so intimately familiar, yet it belonged to the strangest of strangers – deep as the oceans she had never seen, mysterious and smoky like the swirls of incense wafting through the room.

this was the voice of death.

she felt like she had heard it before, as if she should know who it belonged to.

because it was too beautiful to forget.

“sukuna?” she called out in disbelief, her voice fragile and trembling like leaves.

a low chuckle followed. “you still know me.”

oh my.

“h-how are you here? where have you – but y-you disappeared.”

the outline of shadow loomed large behind the byobu, and she gulped.

“i’ve been everywhere in this country. there’s nowhere i haven’t seen.”

it’s him, it’s really him.

sukuna hummed again, his figure swaying. she could make out the shadow of the bridge of his nose and his lips, as well as the elaborate layers of clothing he wore.

“do you remember what happened?” he finally asked after a prolonged silence.

she clenched her fists tightly. “yes.”

“good. and before you accuse me of it, i had nothing to do with what happened to you.”

“i-i wasn't going to.”

“how quaint. it’s rare that i’m not accused of causing wanton violence.”

she watched his shadow reach over and pour a liquid into a cup, followed by soft sipping noises as he drank from it.

“those... those things,” she began tepidly. “is that what you are?”

sukuna snorted. “no. i'm nothing like those low-grade cretins.” he sipped from his cup again. “although, it’s good that you can see curses. next time, you should run instead of just stand there.”

she was starting to remember him again.

she knew that he was nervous; it was evident in his sharp jibes toward her. sukuna always acted like this in unfamiliar situations, when he was unsure of how to act around her. so he would poke and prod because, at least, he understood pain and anger.

she chose to ignore it.

“i went back to the village,” he said, clearing his throat. “it hasn't changed much.”

a flash of terror struck her like lightning.

“but imagine my surprise when i discovered that something had actually changed,” sukuna’s voice had taken on a goading tone, and she could tell he wasn't pleased in the slightest. “you had left to go and get married, of all things.”

my family.

he scoffed, as if he sensed her shift in emotions. “oh, don't worry. your parents told me quite willingly. they were smart enough to know they couldn’t keep me from you.”

a trail of ice and fire ran down her spine.

oh, how much more dangerous have you really become, ryomen sukuna?

dread settled onto her bones like melted lead, and despite her better judgement, she sputtered out, "why now, after all this time?"

silence.

maybe he didn’t even know why.

sukuna's silhouette swayed back and forth behind the byobu, like beech trees high up the mountains, struggling to stay upright during a blizzard. like them, he was battling, but always against himself. his perpetual internal war against that small part inside of him that was human; full of his pain, fear, and kindness. sukuna’s cup was overflowing, even if he didn’t realize it, spilling and pouring everywhere – but she knew it.

she’d known it for the longest time.

“ryo,” her voice cracked like splintering glass. “answer me.”

he sighed, exasperated, “its been so long” – a sharp exhale – “but i can’t stop bleeding!”

utterly perplexed, she frowned. “bleeding? wha-”

sukuna’s shadow rose like a bonfire, erratically pacing in front of the byobu, and she could have sworn she saw the dancing shadows of four swaying arms.

he snarled, the words wrenched from between his fangs, "they tore you from me, and it made my heart bleed. it hasn’t stopped bleeding, because of you."

bang!

his heavy fist struck the screen, and she flinched frightfully.

“i-i don’t k-know what you mean,” she stuttered fearfully, her breaths coming out in rapid, little puffs. “i don’t understand what’s going on.”

he groaned, collected himself, and rolled his shoulders back purposefully. when he spoke again, his tone was calm, with none of the previous fire that had been spitting out from between his teeth.

“it doesn’t matter,” sukuna said, moving away from the cover as his silhouette disappeared. “you’re here now.”

the hidden implications were not as subtle as he thought. he was just as possessive as he had ever been, and it seemed that ryomen sukuna would not be letting go of her again.

she was still his, and had been for all these long years.

“you must be hungry,” he said, swiftly changing the subject. “come here.”

her heart quickened.

slowly, she rose from the safety of the bed, each step as momentous as it was absolutely terrifying. after all this time, she would see sukuna again. the boy who had once protected her, coveted her, and shielded her from the worst parts of himself. the one who wanted to change his ways and be softer for her.

she rounded the byobu.

and there he was.

her bones shivered as her mind froze her in place, stopping her from moving a single step closer.

sukuna was sitting perfectly cross-legged in front of a low table, his eyes widened ever so slightly and his lips parted. a hand was frozen mid-air, suspending in bringing his cup closer to his mouth.

oh, how much he had changed.

sukuna had grown significantly in height, could quite easily tower over her if he stood. he was no longer a boy, but a man – big, broad, and dangerous. and she had not been mistaken before; he had four arms, adorned with strangest black markings, just like his face. if it hadn’t been obvious before, it was now. sukuna was everything taboo in this world, an embodiment of death and fury itself.

“sit,” he ordered, breaking his gaze and motioning in front of him.

his words were in a refined tongue, the kind spoken by highborn royalty and nobles spoke in – those who were educated and understood things beyond the grasp of people like her. she obeyed, feeling the urge to be as well-spoken as possible.

she had never felt so small or so common in all her life.

there was an array of different foods on the table, each more richly presented than the next. elegant bowls held freshly cut fish, arranged to look like the petals of a flower. at the centre of the table sat a lacquered bowl of sekihan at the center of the table, the red bean rice a sharp contrast to the earthy tones of the pickled vegetables around it. mochi of all colors and shapes were delicately wrapped in oak leaves, and chopsticks of pearl and gold were laid beside each of their settings.

sukuna cleared his throat. “so, marriage.” she nodded silently, picking up a piece of mochi. he continued, “i’m assuming it was arranged.”

“yes. he-uh, arrived one day in the village, he was a merchant. my father and the nakodo approved, and that was it.”

he hummed thoughtfully, a fearsome blaze in his eyes. “and did you want this?”

dangerous territory, tread carefully.

“n-not really, but he seemed… kind.”

a flash of red fury crossed his face, and sukuna pursed his lips. “i see. is that what matters most to you, then – kindness?”

careful, careful, careful.

“well… i did not want to end up with a man who would hurt me.”

a dry chuckle. “and do you believe that i will?”

a flash of a memory – of a burrow, of shared tears and painful farewells.

never.

“no,” she replied firmly, picking up another piece of mochi and chewing.

he seemed to approve of her answer, watching as she continued to eat. “good.”

they were silent again, the only sounds coming from the distant chirping of birds and the gentle trickle of a fountain outside. sukuna’s smaller eyes remained fixed on her, while the rest of his attention was on his meal and sake, his expression intensely contemplative and serious. his earlier heat had subsided into a brooding stillness, and he seemed just as amazed as she was that they were finally in each other’s presence again.

she bit her lip before tepidly trying his nickname on her tongue again, “ryo?”

he stilled for a moment, his eyes glistening with a hint of vulnerability before it vanished, and then made a questioning noise.

“what exactly do you expect from me here?”

“you will receive an education, i will not allow you to remain illiterate. you will learn to read and write, and study the arts and poetry. that is all i ask in return.”

“in return for what?”

“for residing in my residence with me. you will not return to the mountains or the village, and you will never see your parents again.”

this was it.

her childhood dream of staying with sukuna was finally here. perhaps he had really felt her pulling on their red string, felt her desperation and fear, and had come to save her. he wasn’t entirely human, after all; maybe he could have sensed her from so far away, and known about that deep hole within her. and so, he had taken her away from it all, demanding only that she say goodbye to everything she had ever known.

but things were different now.

they weren’t little children anymore. there was a taste of change in the air – something tantalizing and liberating. their dynamics had shifted, whether they wanted it or not. adulthood had brought new possibilities that couldn’t have been there before, the kind that made her heart race and chest flutter.

in the way sukuna’s eyes flashed, she felt that he knew it too.

it was her fate after all, she had just been too young to comprehend it.

so be it.

“alright.”

༺ ✤ ༻

the ink was blacker than raven feathers.

drip! drip! drip!

as beautiful as the depth of midnight, it shouldn’t be wasted.

she bowed her head, pensively holding her brush. the words were right there on her fingertips, straight from the centre of her heart, but she didn’t know how to say them.

or rather, if she could say them correctly.

biting her lip, she lightly pressed her brush to the page, the words flowing out with every stroke. when she was done, she leaned back on her heels and looked expectantly at her teacher.

“your brush technique was incorrect,” uraume chided emotionlessly, their icy aura ever present. “but you were close. try it like this instead, see?”

sukuna’s second had been tasked with educating her and showing her the finer ways of noble life. under uraume’s tutelage, she learned to draw the beautiful curves of hiragana and the straight, angular lines of katakana. she was introduced to the golden literature of her country, where she delved into classic and more modern texts, and learned to appreciate the hidden depths beneath the surface of grand tales and poetry.

once, she had been jealous of uraume. it was unnerving to see how much confidence sukuna placed in the ambiguous and frosty figure, and it hurt to know he trusted someone other than her. but she soon came to realize that uraume’s sole desire was to serve sukuna, and sukuna harbored nothing for them other than respect that surely had been well earned.

“try it again,” uraume suggested, returning to their position behind her and watching over her shoulder as she picked up the brush once more.

moreover, uraume was neither cruel nor haughty about her illiteracy and never treated her like a lowborn. they always guided her with a gentle coldness and a detached tone of instruction. she wondered what they thought about the nature of her relationship with sukuna, and if perhaps uraume had ever been jealous of her. she liked to think they hadn’t been, and if they had, they never showed it or asked any questions. for that, she was grateful.

what she had with sukuna wasn’t something she could describe easily.

he was there now, one of his eyes watching the way her hands moved with the brush. it wasn’t unusual that he was present; sukuna often observed their lessons, seating himself a distance and quietly reading a book or scroll. he never lavished her with praise, such was not his nature, but offered more subtle compliments in her progress: a tilt of his head, a single nod, and a hum of approval.

she would be lying to herself if she said it didn’t thrill her to hold his attention.

they only grew closer as time went on, building new little routines with each other. every night after they dined together, sukuna would tap his fingers rhythmically on the low table, completely silent, as she either read poetry from a book or recited it from memory. these were moments of softness, sukuna's strange way of drawing closer her, as the red thread connecting them weaved them closer to each other with every passing night. his gratitude was silent too: a heavy hand on her head, a quick press of his fingers to her cheek, and a small smile as he left.

it was easy to imagine sukuna as changed in those moments, a regal lord always composed and calm.

but that wasn't the reality of the world.

she was frequently reminded of it.

"i need to go," he would suddenly say, abruptly pulling her from her focus.

she closed her book and peered up at him through her lashes. “where?”

sukuna smirked, a wild gleam in his eyes. “to quench my thirst.”

he would then disappear, but never for more than a few days at a time. she liked to hope that his brief absences were because he disliked leaving her for too long. when sukuna returned, he was like a predator satiated from the hunt – more at ease, prone to teasing and sending her into a shy fluster. she realized quickly that he was still as he had been when he was a boy; always acting upon his desires and impulses without a shred of restraint.

although, sukuna kept her well away from any glimpse of that side of him.

she was relieved to be spared from it. even though she had accepted his nature, she was far more content to remain his tether to a calmer side, always ready to pull him back into the peaceful river of soothing milk and honey that was her company. yet, she couldn’t help but wonder if that was all she would ever be to him.

she had to wait three years for the winds of romance to finally shift.

the day after her eighteenth birthday, sukuna began leaving things for her to find.

sometimes the gifts were small, such as delicate hairpins, vibrant silks, or rare fruits from distant lands. they would enjoy the fruits together, her laughter filling the room as she watched him scowl at their unfamiliar taste. other times, the gifts were more extravagant: a retinue of handmaidens to attend to her every need, opulent jūnihitoe crafted by the best artisans, the emperor’s most exquisite jewelry, and the rarest art.

but perhaps the most precious gift of all was his poetry.

she didn’t know why she had assumed sukuna had no taste for poetry. after all, he had ensured she studied it, and seemed to enjoy listening to her recite it. she had thought it was to encourage her to uphold the traditions of noble women studying the arts, to refine herself as a proper lady. given his impulsive nature, she merely thought he lacked the time and patience to write his own poems.

but oh, how he had a way with words.

it wasn’t in the more traditional styles she was used to reading, but it was uniquely sukuna’s. he was never one to follow the rules anyways. they had started off expressing the calming joy he felt in her company, with gentle musings about her being like a light summer rain or the soft morning glow of the sun. those early verses were lighthearted, designed to make her heart flutter with silly little butterflies.

and now?

now they could make her heart melt into a puddle of its own blood, making her body run hot with feverish, burning emotions.

with every poem she read, warmth would spread through her cheeks and chest, her bones shaking from the intensity of it all. it embarrassed her how obviously and hopelessly in love she felt. sukuna, however, was completely unruffled, a knowing smile playing on his lips as he watched her stumble over her words.

“any particular reason why you have that stupid smile on your face?” he’d tease, ostentatiously chewing on a piece of fruit.

she looked away petulantly, a slight pout forming on her lips. “stop it, ryo!”

it was blatantly obvious he savored this.

how could he possibly expect her to act normally around him after reading something like that? these poems were a gateway to his soul, a window straight through his eyes and into his heart. she could hardly contain herself any longer, and it was almost cruel that sukuna was keeping her in suspense for even a moment longer.

but did sukuna even want marriage?

he never liked being bound to anything, always pursuing whatever he desired whenever he wanted to. perhaps he wanted the benefits of courting her without ever becoming tied to her. she wasn’t sure if she could ever accept the idea of being his concubine. after all they had been through, it would crush her soul.

they were taking a stroll together in the gardens after one of her lessons, but the air was tense. sukuna stood unusually close to her, completely silent as they moved together, stopping occasionally and waiting as she admired certain flowers blooming. she tried hard not to be too flustered, and attempted to diffuse the palpable tension between them by talking about all sorts of things.

“oh, ryo! don't you think this flower is gorgeous?”

“hmm, yes. quite.”

“the weather is so pleasant for this time of year, isn't it?”

“yes it is.”

“look, the koi! aren’t they pretty?”

“for fish, sure.”

she gave up after that last attempt. it was obvious she wasn't going to get much out of sukuna today in terms of conversation – he seemed completely and utterly wound up.

they stopped underneath the shade of a tree, and she gracefully tucked in the layers of her clothes beneath her before sitting down. sukuna stood pensively beside the tree, his side profile solemn as he clenched and unclenched his fists. his movements were slow, methodical, almost like it was the only thing grounding him in that moment.

and then, in a flash, he was crouched right in front of her.

“i have something to say,” he announced, his voice like stone.

she swallowed thickly. “then say it.”

sukuna exhaled, and she heard the sound of his knuckles cracking and snapping before he continued, “i recognize that we two are… different in many ways. i have been bound to you from the moment i first laid eyes on you, and i will forever be yours.” – a sharp inhale followed by a shaky exhale – “however, while i may accept this, i understand that you might not outside the ties of marriage.”

this is it.

“you are the one good thing about my soul,” he whispered, his voice trembling with a vulnerable softness that shook her to her core. “please, say you will accept me?”

she didn’t hesitate for even a moment.

“i have always been yours, ryo, and i always will be.”

༺ ✤ ༻

love was infinite.

it transcended time and space, indifferent to who it dragged into its otherworldly domain, filled to the brim with whiteness and the saccharine scent of roses.

being ryomen sukuna’s wife meant crossing that threshold into another world, one that he had forced to turn into the brightest shade of red. his love was ferocious, nearly crippling in its intensity. loving him meant baring her heart to him, exposed and vulnerable, ready for him to consume it completely. he was a deprived man who had finally been given the key to her soul, and now he was able to come through and show her how deep his love for her coursed through in his veins.

“i want to bury myself into your skin,” he murmured into her ear, his arms wrapped around her bare body. “and settle into the spaces between your ribs.”

and yet, sukuna was tender too.

he would crave the moments of quiet, when it was just the two of them, whispering in the dark about how much she meant to him. wherever they were, a part of him was always touching her – whether it was his head on her shoulder as they sat in the garden, or pulling her onto his lap during her lessons. all the while, his eyes were memorising every little thing she did; the way she laughed, how she breathed, and every different sound and expression she made.

sukuna was immensely proud to be her husband, always devoted to providing for and protecting her.

she never wanted for a single thing.

and yet, he was still larger than life, a force of strife and bloodlust.

she knew what sort of reputation he had, that he was something of a living legend. there was no doubt that history would remember his name, spitting on it and sending shivers down people's spines at the mere mention of it.

“the king of curses,” uraume revealed to her one day, a hint of pride in her voice. “that is what the sorcerers call him.”

and that title did not come without a challenge.

on an unassuming autumn morning, sukuna abruptly interrupted one of her lessons. “i must go,” he said abruptly, clutching his trident like a god of old, a hint of glee in his words. “the fushigawa clan must be brought to heel.”

and heel they must have.

for when he returned, sukuna's face had split into two, with a mouth comfortably situated at his midriff. she knew then that unspeakable atrocities must have been committed, because her husband’s body did not evolve unless he had killed and sinned in the most horrific ways possible.

sukuna averted his gaze from her, his skin drenched in blood that was not his own. `'you cannot love me like this."

“and yet,” she whispered, standing on her toes and cupping his bloodied cheekbones. “i still do.”

she had never expected his true nature to change once they were married. to deny it was to deny him – and his love for her. as long as he kept her far from the sight of it, what more could she ask for?

in those moments, it was easy to forget how quickly darkness could overwhelm a fire.

the twilight moon cast a gentle light as a pleasant breeze wafted through the air, brushing against her cheek in a tender caress. it was one of those quiet, soft evenings, where the world slowed down just enough for husband and wife to savor each other’s company. they sat by the koi pond, watching as the silk ribbons of gold and white fins traced elegant patterns in the water. sukuna’s head rested on her lap, a pair of his eyes closed, as she gently stroked his hair.

nothing was out of the ordinary.

save for the strange man with starlight hair strolling towards them.

her husband sat up, and they both turned to watch the man approach them. the stranger carried the aura of a man assured in his own destiny, radiating confidence in the self-righteousness of the path he was on. when he lifted his head and met her gaze, she couldn’t help but gasp at the sight of his eyes, which held a beauty that well surpassed even that of the heavens above.

she knew then that this was no normal man.

“you were stupid to come here,” sukuna huffed, barely sparing the man a glance as he helped her to her feet. “i prefer not to kill in front of my wife.”

“and yet, you will die all the same,” the man retorted, his hand glowing with a threatening iridescent aquamarine light.

boom!

there was a deafening thunderclap, followed by the loud creaking and crashing of tumbling wood. before she could blink again, she found herself somewhere far from their home, surrounded by trees and nature that seemed to stretch for miles. her husband’s expression was calm, a perfectly still lake amidst the tumultuous whirlwind of emotions inside her.

sukuna softly touched her cheek. “this will all be over soon, my love.”

he pressed a tender kiss to her brow.

don’t leave me, please.

and then, he was gone.

a strong fear settled in the pit of her stomach amidst the eerie silence. she flinched each time the sky lit up in hues of red and blue, once with purple, and she could have sworn that she heard the sound of her husband’s untamed glee carried on the wind. every rustle of the trees set her teeth on edge, and she wrapped her arms tightly around herself as the coldness of the night began to settle in.

snap!

she whirled around.

another stranger emerged, this time with hair as black as the night. shadows pooled beneath his feet, ominous snarling and snapping noises of hounds coming from its depths. with a sharp gesture, the man hushed and silenced the shadows, and the hounds ceased to be. he tilted his head curiously at her, as if he couldn’t fathom why she was here alone in this place.

but what struck her about him were his eyes — they were as green as the forests in the mountains.

it made her strangely homesick.

“my husband will never stop hunting you for this,” she finally said coolly, despite the terror coursing in her blood.

“you think that terrifies me?” he scoffed, instantly shattering the image of warmth she thought he had. “no matter what, history will forever remember as the sorcerers who brought the king of curses to his knees.”

a silver blade gleamed wickedly as the man grinned maliciously.

“meanwhile, you are irrelevant.”

she didn't say a word, understanding all to well what was about to happen and why.

would death be kind?

she shook her head, turning away from the man and looking up at the crimson twilight sky, unwilling to face the man or the cruel blade that was to be her end.

(a drop of blood in a firestorm, a scream of agony)

it doesn’t matter, so long as sukuna cannot feel it.

༺ ✤ ༻

death was abysmally cruel.

ryomen sukuna once believed that it would have given him the sweet relief he always craved deep down – something that would have finally extinguished the ceaseless fire blazing in his veins. it was a release he had always longed for, yearned for, and thought he had always been ready for.

especially when the curse, kenjaku, found him suffering amidst the wreckage of his vengeful rampage for the love that had been stolen from him.

“you had your chance, once,” the curse purred, his forehead stitches starkly contrasting with the pallor of the body he had taken. “but you knew that already.”

no, death had hurt him beyond measure.

it was a hailstorm of ice and sleet, beating down at him, surely dousing his fire, but so very slowly. even though his memory now was hazy at the best of times, he would always remember that pain. how he smashed and ground his teeth together, silent as stone as kenjaku worked to preserve his essence into every one of his fingers, because he refused to cry again.

all sukuna could remember was pain.

and her.

he would always remember her – the pain of loving her, and the pain of losing her.

and how he cried for the first and last time when he saw her crumpled body lying there in that forest. how he wanted nothing more than to hold her bones in his arms for the rest of time, to die right there and then with her, and let their skeletons be burned into ash together.

love had made him sick with desire, with hate, with yearning.

it terrified him.

because ryomen sukuna did not like to feel.

he then swore to himself that he would never repeat his mistakes. love was never to be touched again, and he would burn the world before it had the chance to hurt him once more.

and finally, here sukuna was, reborn and made anew, ready to enact that vow.

only, he hadn’t planned on being stuck inside this miserable, pretentious annoying brat.

no matter, this isn’t permanent.

“how you feelin there, yuji?” asked satoru gojo in an irritatingly perky voice.

sukuna’s vessel rubbed his chest tentatively. “i guess it kinda hurts a litt- ow! okay, never mind, it hurts a lot.”

satoru smiled. “well, lucky for you, i know someone who can help with that.”

sukuna rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath. oh, how he wanted to rip the smirk right off his face.

first, i’ll tear you–

a light laugh trickled in from just outside the door.

sukuna froze.

he knew that laugh.

the brat turned around, and through him, ryomen sukuna saw what he had thought he lost a millennium ago.

for a moment, there was nothing but white noise.

sukuna was entranced, captivated by the way her lips moved, the graceful way her figure leaned against the doorframe, and how every single feature of her face had remained unchanged and untouched despite all the time that had passed.

is this some sort of joke?

“ok yuji,” she said warmly, a kind smile on her face as she placed a hand on his chest. “this won’t hurt a bit.”

sukuna felt the ghost of her hand touching his own skin, familiar and warm, and he gripped his throne of bones tightly.

yuji frowned. “will it hurt you?”

“oh no, don’t worry about me. i can absorb as much physical pain as i want without feeling any of it myself.”

“that’s so cool! but, do you really not feel anything at all?”

she bit her lip, an ancient sadness in her young eyes. “well… sometimes i go blind for a while, and all i can see is the color red.”

“what? hell no, what if you go blind because of me? no way.”

yuji shied away from her touch, and she reached out to grasp his hand.

“no, i promise i won’t!” she practically begged. “please. yuji. i–something happens when i go blind, like something is trying to show me what’s missing inside me, and i need to find out what it is.”

so, you don’t remember a thing.

sukuna leaned forward, bones crunching beneath him.

“okay…” his vessel answered, apprehension and concern woven into his tone.

she smiled gratefully.

i think i understand what you were to me after all this time, my love.

༺ ✤ ༻

©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.

[starshideurfics]

Thirsty Thursday - Mer-May

steddie, omegaverse, mdni🔞, inspired by Emma’s (crybabyao3 on twt) mersteve and pearls

Eddie didn’t believe the kids at first when they said they found a mermaid. Especially after Dustin explained that he didn’t have a tail.

“He said he got it taken away by a sea witch. That she’s helping him find his alpha.”

“And just where is this tailless mermaid anyway?” Eddie asks, arms crossed over his chest.

“We’re hiding him at Hopper’s beach house for now,” Lucas starts.

“Yeah, he’s not exactly dressed for us to bring him out in public,” Max adds with a smirk.

Eddie shakes his head, rubs at his eyes. “Please tell me you don’t have a naked omega sitting in Hopper’s place. He’s gonna freak.”

“That’s why you need to come with us, get him out of there. You’ve gotta bring him to your place,” Dustin says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Eddie wants to argue, but instead he grabs the keys for his van. “Fine. But I need to meet the guys in an hour, Joyce got us a gig down at the Surf Shack.” It’s a big step up from the high school beach parties they usually play, since they’re getting paid in more than shitty beer and enough money for gas.

“Thank you, let’s move!” Mike yells, grabbing Dustin to lead the group out to the parking lot.

The kids yell the whole way, recounting how the found Steve—the mermaid’s name is Steve  for chrissakes—wandering the beach, completely unsteady on his feet. Max thought he was drunk, but El was worried he was hurt, so they asked him what was wrong and he spilled everything.

He probably found the best group of 12-year-olds possible, since they believed him.

Reaching Hopper’s beach house, Eddie cuts the engine, doesn’t bother waiting for the kids as he heads inside; they catch up almost instantly anyway.

“Steve! We’re back!” Dustin yells as he walks through the side door behind El, since she’s the one with a key.

“We brought our friend Eddie, he’s got his own place so you won’t need to hide there,” Max adds, right on Dustin’s heels.

Eddie is prepared for nudity as he hears awkward shuffling from down the hall. But that’s not what he gets.

Steve walks into the kitchen covered in pearls. The bits of fabric they’re attached to fit perfectly around his torso, but have been tied to cover his bottom a bit haphazardly.

The pearls must be worth a fortune, what with the size and color, but all of Eddie’s focus is drawn by the man’s beautiful face, flecked with moles, his eyes the rich brown-green of sea kelp.

More importantly, his face lights up with his smile. “Thank you! I don’t want to be any trouble, but I’m so grateful for your help!” At first, his smile is just for the kids. But then he looks up, and his eyes go soft.

When his eyes lock with Eddie’s.

“Hi,” Eddie manages to make his stupid mouth say.

“Hello,” Steve answers, not as dumb, but just as soft. “I’ll be staying with you?”

“Yes!” Dustin answers for him. “Eddie has his own apartment, you’ll be safe there.”

“Okay, shitheads—and El—get on back to whatever you were up to before, I’ll get Steve settled.”

The kids try to protest, but Steve agrees, says he won’t be interesting the rest of the day since he’s tired. It’s true, since he dozes off in the van on the way to Eddie’s. He looks so peaceful it pains Eddie to wake him.

But he does, gently, gets another soft smile as he escorts Steve up to his second-floor apartment.

“I’ve got clothes you can borrow for now, then we can find you something you like. But I’m pretty sure you’d get a citation for indecent exposure if you went out in that again.”

“Oh,” Steve says, sadly looking down at his chest. “I wanted to be wearing it when I found my alpha. My pearls show I am ready to be claimed, that I have my dowry for my mate.”

“Did you harvest them all? That’s a lot of oysters to open, especially for the colors,” Eddie says, unable to hide the awe in his voice.

“No, they’re my pearls,” Steve says, like Eddie should understand more than he does. “Mers lay eggs, and if they aren’t fertilized they become pearls. These are the pearls from my heats.”

Eddie suddenly feels the need to readjust himself. “From your heats,” he repeats softly.

“That’s why they’re for my alpha, to show I’m ready for pups.”

“But your alpha is here, on land?”

“Yes!”

“Then you aren’t going to be laying any more eggs, sweetheart. That’s not how heats work for humans.”

Steve’s hand rests low on his belly, covering the perfect circle of pearls. “I know.”

“And how do you know your alpha is here? You can’t have gotten close enough to scent him.”

“I heard him, playing my heartsong. I hear it every so often, coming from the shore, fast like my heartbeat, like he needs to scream to the world. Like he’s calling for me.”

That really piques Eddie’s interest. “He’s playing on the beach? Is he alone?”

“Not always, but I can still pick him out, that’s how heartsongs work.”

Eddie’s mouth feels too dry, and he swallows hard. “Can you hum any of it? Maybe I’ve heard it before, can help you find him faster.”

Steve smiles, hums a melody Eddie knows all too well. One he based on the songs his mother would sing him when he was little. Without a word, Eddie reaches for his acoustic guitar, easily taking over the melody from Steve, playing on as the omega falls quiet.

When Eddie stops, he looks up to see Steve’s big eyes, tears on his cheeks. “It’s you,” he whispers, reverent as he steps closer, far more sure on his new legs now.

“I guess it is.” Eddie puts down the guitar and pulls Steve close, finally scenting at his neck and feeling like there are new colors in his world as he smells waterlilies and coconut and fresh salt air.

Steve leans in first, kissing his mouth, awkwardly guiding Eddie’s hands to tease at his nipples through the gaps in the pearls. Then he grips Eddie’s hips, pulls their groins together and moans at the feeling of his alpha’s cock pressing against his new, human pussy.

“Alpha, please!” he groans. “Want to feel you.”

Eddie obliges, pulls at the ties over Steve’s ass, lets the fabric fall from between his legs, and carefully traces his fingers along his seam, already wet with slick. 

He doesn’t have time to knot Steve. Not if he wants to make it to the gig. So instead, he guides Steve to sit on the couch, Eddie kneeling between his thighs, using his mouth to make his omega come.

————

Steve accompanies Eddie to the gig that night. He’s wearing his clothes: a black band tee and ripped jeans that cover a bite high on his thigh.

Eddie has a single, blue-grey pearl added to the chain around his throat.

part 2

[scribbling-dragon]

the world’s my oyster (i’m the pearl)

summary:

Um,” he stares at Scott for a moment longer. “Can I, uh, can I come in? Or,” he allows himself to trail off, still watching Scott. The crown certainly suits him, at least, even though the pinkish-orange colour of the coral is not something he’d ever have considered to go well with cyan.

The door swings open in front of him, and he almost startles at the abruptness of it, jerking his hand back and down to his side. “So,” Scott’s grinning, that grin that makes his teeth look far sharper than they actually are, “you've come crawling back, have you?”

“It’s,” he laughs, inching forward, “It’s not crawling back, it’s…sheepishly wandering in.” He smiles a little as he continues to inch his way forward, sliding past Scott and through the rather narrow ‘doorway’ when Scott doesn't move to stop him from entering.

-

Or, a 5 + 1 where Scott is acting suspicious, and Martyn is trying to figure out why

(ao3 link)

(11,149 words)

yeah the title’s a h2o reference. it’s comedy gold, alright (and mer scott. it just fits yk)

I.

The small, rather rickety path out into the water is what first grabs at his attention, snagging it and holding it as he steps a little closer. He crouches, trying not to come off as too suspicious, even though he is acting incredibly, incredibly suspicious right now, and anyone that might see him would be well-founded in whatever boogeyman-related accusation they throw his way.

The curse itches beneath his skin, far more intense than it had been in the previous games. It ticks alongside his slowly counting timer. The itching only grows more fierce the longer he sits around twiddling his thumbs, but he sits, squatted in the bushes and sheltered by the trees overhead, and watches as Scott moves around the small island he’s constructing.

As Martyn watches, he notices the way that Scott moves around the island is actually rather odd, especially as he occasionally jumps away from the edge, as though he’s been burned- which is impossible, because it’s water.

Despite his apparent hatred for the water, Scott continues to build where he is, sticking firmly to the centre of the small island that is beginning to take shape around him. The only part that remains unchanged is the small shelter right beside the bridge, though Scott does glance over at it occasionally.

More than once, Martyn swears Scott looks directly at him as well, eyes pausing for a moment over his hiding spot before he returns to whatever he was doing before. It makes the curse thrum a little louder, a little heavier, beneath his skin in anticipation. He squashes it down a little further, before creeping out from behind the bush he’d chosen to hide behind for the past…however long.

His timer tells him he’s only spent five minutes crouched there, but the moon had been high in the sky when he first started watching Scott, casting most of his surroundings into shadow - only the island had been lit up, a small beacon on light in the darkness swamping everything else - but now that same moon is incredibly close to setting, and the horizon is beginning to tinge pink with the sunrise.

He doesn't believe these timers one bit, not at all. There’s something wrong with them, but either everyone’s too caught up in the newness of this game to notice, or they have noticed and simply don't care enough to question it. Martyn didn't believe in the twenty-four hours, anyway, not when Grian announced it in such an odd way. And those watching on would hardly be satisfied with a day of entertainment.

The dirt bridge crumbles a little beneath his feet, and he pauses, holding his breath as he waits to see if it will take his weight- if it will betray his entrance onto the island. Scott’s back remains turned to him, and he watches as the man sifts through one of the chests he just set up.

He gives no reaction to Martyn’s approach, so he continues onwards, making an effort to place his feet a little lighter as he approaches, wary of alerting Scott. Martyn is well aware of Scott’s reputation in these games, of his seemingly inhuman hearing that catches even the smallest of sounds- Joel had told him once, in one of the afterparties they host once the games come to a close, that Scott had found him and Grian during last life because he breathed too loud. The man’s ears are entirely normal, too, not at all pointed or giving any indication that they're anything but human ears with normal, human-like hearing.

He realises, as Scott begins to turn, that he’s just been stood on the man’s bridge and staring at him like a creep. He scrambles for something to do, eyes landing on the odd shelter once more, spying the boat lodged into the side of the island and containing one zombified villager. Perfect.

He lunges for the boat, throwing himself into it and beginning to slowly push off the edge of the island, ignoring the thumping in his heart- the roaring in his ears that demands he kills Scott then and there, that he had had his back turned for several long minutes, in which he could have neatly lodged an axe in the man’s back and be rid of the curse.

“Uh,” he glances back, one hand still resting against the edge of the island, still in the process of getting the boat unlodged, Scott’s turned to face him, eyes wide with…shock? It doesn't look like shock, more like surprise. Martyn almost begins laughing. “No thank you.” Scott says, and the man is beside him a moment later, moving almost scarily quick, but he doesn't have much time to focus on that, instead focusing on not overbalancing and dragging them both into the water and Scott yanks him from the boat.

He stumbles a little as his feet make contact with ground, foot catching on nothing, and he grabs onto Scott’s shoulders to steady himself, gripping tightly to Scott’s shirt. And he almost succeeds in pulling both of them backwards into the water as he tips back, already laughing.

The water rushes up around him, and he inhales some as he laughs, popping back to the surface, coughing. His hair obscures most of his vision, dripping in front of his eyes even as he pushes it back out of the way; it only falls forward again, obscuring his vision once more and sticking to his face.

He continues laughing as soon as he’s certain he’s not going to inhale any more water and choke to death. He makes a grab for one of his sandals as it begins to float past, and it only makes him laugh a little harder at the sheer absurdity of it, having to grip onto the edge of the small island to make sure he doesn't go under again.

“Aw, man.” He manages to calm down momentarily, huffing out a breath, breathing out slowly as it threatens to turn into a laugh again. “You sounded so offended, man.” He grins up at Scott, pushing his hair back from his face again- seriously, what’s even the point of wearing a headband if it doesn't keep his hair out of his eyes.

“You tried to steal my villager,” Scott frowns down at him, but Martyn can see the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile, almost a laugh. “I think I have some right to be offended.” Scott tips his chin upwards, looking down at him almost haughtily- something that Martyn would only believe if he had known Scott for less than five minutes. The guy has some odd flair for the dramatics. It’s a shame that he and Ren never teamed, they would certainly have been interesting to watch.

“I guess so, thought you didn't hear me, though.”

“I heard you.” Scott says, looking down at him. The skin around his eyes catches the light slightly, flashing bright, but when Martyn takes a closer look, it’s just some rather bright eyeshadow the other has decided to wear. “I just thought I’d give you an easy kill.”

“An easy kill?” He laughs it off, ignoring how the itch beneath his skin seems to intensify with those few words- he already knows, he might as well. He shakes the thoughts off, pulling himself from the water. “Wait, wait, you think I’m the boogey?”

“Yes.”

“Aw, c’mon man,” Scott hops back a few steps as he approaches, looking more than a little nervous as Martyn steps forward. “That hurts, you think I've come here to just kill you in cold blood? Can't I just visit a friend?”

“While that’s a nice thought, I unfortunately don't believe you.” Scott smiles, expression not matching his words, the eyeshadow smudged around the corners of his eyes shimmering in the light again, drawing Martyn’s eyes back to it. “You got that whole-” Scott gestures at him, “-thing about you. Twitchy, like you're ready to swing at someone as soon as the opportunity presents itself.”

“I mean, you did that, didn't you?” His clothes stick to his skin rather uncomfortably, clinging. He finds a piece of seaweed stuck to his calf as well, peeling it off as he speaks. He flicks it at Scott, for a laugh, watching as the man jumps out of the seaweed’s path and sends a glare his way. “Poor Skizz, the man just wanted to chat with you.”

“He set it up so well, Martyn,” Scott groans, suspicion dissolving for a moment as he complains. “Everyone’s been getting on to me about it, especially after Bdubs’ stunt- which also wasn't my fault! But he was just saying all the right things- it was far too funny for me to let the opportunity pass up.” And Martyn’s sure that They rather enjoyed the show too, especially from the one person that refused to cooperate with their schemes the last two games.

“I hear you,” he laughs, even as he attempts to slip his foot back into his wet sandal without fiddling about with the straps too much. His clothes are going to be wet for the next while and the sun’s not even up yet meaning he’s going to be walking around in squeaky shoes for several long hours- no way he’s sneaking up on anyone like that. “But still not the boogey.” He grins, only sweating a little as Scott continues to look unconvinced- one word and everyone would start avoiding him like the plague.

“Mhm,” Scott looks him up and down, with a judgemental enough look that he almost cowers beneath it. But Martyn’s built of stronger stuff than that, staring back at Scott in return. “If you say so, then.”

Scott’s lips quirk up in the corner a little bit, as though there’s a joke only he’s been let in on. And Martyn has a pretty good idea that he’s probably the butt of said joke.

“Have fun sneaking up on people in your squeaky shoes,” Scott says, which. Great. Scott’s already noticed that and he’s not even moved yet, this is actually hopeless. He’s going to be yellow within the day, and there’s nothing he can even do about it.

“Still not the boogey.” He reminds. He leaves Scott to it, though, turning around and walking back down the bridge. His sandals squeak as he walks, and he does his best to ignore the snicker behind him. “Yeah, yeah,” he shouts back, turning around to face Scott, “laugh it up!”

He slips as he turns, some dirt giving way beneath his heel, and almost falls back into the ocean. He manages to regain his footing quickly, scrambling to maintain his balance on the rickety little path, glaring at Scott when the man’s snickering turns into a sharp bark of laughter.

He grumbles to himself, mind already running over the few ideas he has left, searching for an idea. His shoes continue squeaking as he walks, and all it does is distract him from his game plans, dragging his mind back towards Scott, and the man’s odd avoidance of the water’s edge and just water in general.

It could also, very easily, be that the man was avoiding him. But he looked far more nervous than he needed to as Martyn approached him after his brief dip in the ocean, far too nervous for someone that was just worried about being murdered. And that also doesn't explain his behaviour before Martyn even approached, avoiding the surrounding ocean like his life depended on it; and unless Scott’s hearing has reached new levels of freaky, then he definitely wasn't watching for Martyn then.

When he glances back, Scott is still keeping his distance from the water.

He considers it for a moment, then shoves the thought aside. He has far more important things to worry about than Scott acting weird- he’s always acting weird! He’s a weird man.

=== === ===

II.

He stares at the ground in front of him, the bucket in his hands warm as he stares at the empty spot, where there had been a cow only moments before. He glances over at Etho from the corner of his eye, biting on his tongue so he doesn't start laughing at possibly the worst moment he’s had all day.

He still aches from the pufferfish Etho had flung at him earlier. It’s a very good reminder of why he should definitely not start laughing at something that is actually very, very bad.

“Dude,” Impulse is staring at him as well, face set into one of those I'm-not-mad-just-disappointed looks.

“I did not mean for that to happen,” he says. And he can hear the laugh bubbling in his throat, threatening to break free if he continues talking much longer. He clutches the lava bucket a little tighter, before deciding that is probably a bad thing to do because the metal is already heating up to a hazardous temperature. And he likes being able to use his hands. “I was just memeing Skizz, and then-” he cuts himself off again, peering up through the small hole in the ceiling to look at Skizz.

The man stares back down at him, one hand resting against the edge of the hole. Martyn had definitely considered simply leaving the lava there for Skizz to fall into, unaware, and taken the kill then and there, but the swift death of the cow had been enough to make him feel a little guilty.

“Aw,” he buries his face in his hands, stepping back from the small entrance. “I am so sorry.” His words are muffled slightly, but he’s sure the others can at least guess the sentiment of his words if they can't understand them. He pulls at his face a little bit, glancing up at the people around him.

Impulse just looks sad at this point, staring at the spot their cow had been only a few moments before. Martyn has never felt regret as intensely as he does in this moment, even if his whole visit had been a ploy to try and kill one of them.

“You gotta be kidding me right now.”

Martyn can feel his resolve begin to waver as they continue on about the cow, lips twitching into an almost-smile as Impulse continues to bemoan their loss. Etho, at least, seems to have planned ahead, or at least far enough ahead that he saw the cow not surviving for very long anyway, as he manages to retrieve a cow within a few minutes after the incident.

It’s as though the cow never died in the first place, and he watches it meander around the small base from the step. Impulse had told him, in very few words, that he’d prefer it if he sat up here and away from the cows for now. He hadn't minded it either, as it means he can sit a short distance away from everyone else- a long enough distance that the itch at the back of his brain is reduced, if only a little bit. The need for blood still lingers, but it’s nowhere near as intense as it had been before.

He can't help but panic a little, unable to see any of these people splitting off from the pack so that he can follow and murder them. He also can't see them just letting it slide if he does kill one of them, so maybe it’s not his greatest idea to pick one of these four.

“Oh, Skizz,” his ears prick up as a new voice joins the jumbled fray, a little louder than many of the others and much further away. He stands, moving from the step Impulse had instructed him to stay on so there weren't any more cow related accidents. “Bud.”

He can hear the sympathy in Scott’s voice, and when he pokes his head out of the entrance to the underground base, Scott is smiling sympathetically at Skizz. A boat rocks gently behind him, lodged firmly in the sand as Scott steps gingerly out of it, scurrying a few metres up the beach before he comes to a stop.

“Dude, it’s been brutal,” Skizz says.

Martyn emerges fully onto the small island, only because hovering in the darkness is making him far more suspicious, and it would be very easy for Scott to pin it on him right now- especially as the man seems convinced that it is him anyway.

“What happened?” Scott seems to be asking from a sympathetic standpoint, but Martyn also knows Scott, and knowing Scott means that he knows Scott just wants the details of what happened from the source. Martyn listens as well, nodding at Scott when the man’s eyes slide over to him.

“I was way, way deep down,” Skizz gestures to the ground beneath their feet, moving back and forth a little bit as they talk. “I was just looking for some diamonds, and a creeper killed me.” Skizz turns his back to Martyn, and he has the idea to just do it now- do it here. He’d considered it already, back in the cave when the curse first settled itself over his mind, but he’d resisted then. But he’s so close to running out of time, so close to failing-

His hand hovers over the sword at his hip, and Skizz’s back is still turned, and Scott had even proposed an alliance to him earlier today, so he doubts Scott’s going to rat him out right now. He glances up, hand still hovering, still uncertain.

Scott glances between him and Skizz, mouth setting into a grim line. He then shakes his head, slight enough that anyone not looking would have missed it. And Skizz continues talking, oblivious to the silent conversation that had just passed between him and Scott.

And Scott’s right, honestly. It would be a bad idea, and they would have four angry people after them, one of which is definitely going to be a yellow soon, and that’s not something he wants to see at all. He swallows, glancing away, mind racing, curse roaring, demanding he ignore Scott, that he does it anyway.

He takes a step back, away from the shoreline and Scott and Skizz, pulling his hand away from his sword forcefully, reminding himself that it would be a bad idea, over and over again, and that Skizz has already lost enough time as it is, to lose more would only put him on Skizz’s list.

He takes another step back, and his foot catches on something. He glances back, finding it to be the hole that leads to the base beneath the island. The…confined base that has little to no escape routes, something which could very easily be blown up.

He glances back to the talking pair on the beach. Neither of them watch him, neither of them are looking to see where he goes.

He drops down into the hole, ignoring the slight jolt in his ankles as he lands. He pauses, not daring to even breathe. He can't hear himself over the sound of blood roaring in his ears- he doesn't know how loud he would be, can't know how loud it would be. So he doesn't dare breathe, straining his ears to make sure that there are people in the base below him, that him tossing away the few resources he has won't go to waste.

He chips away at the wall in front of him, clenching his hands tight around his pickaxe to stop them from shaking. Ignores the pounding of his heart, the rushing in his ears as he breaks through the rock, pausing to heave in a breath and to check that he hasn't been heard- hasn't been found.

He can't be found, he can’t. He doesn't have long left for this, not long at all, and he can't be yellow. Not yet, it’s too soon. Far, far too soon.

He breaks down the few feet that separates him from the room below, pulling back as soon as the last chunk of rock has been chipped away. He has to let it fall, there’s no way he can grab it back now, just has to watch it plummet and hope no one pays attention to the sound.

He holds his breath, feeling it catch in his lungs until he feels as though he’s going to explode. He watches as Scott turns around and stares at the rock for a long, long moment. Long enough that Martyn thinks he might say something, that he might warn the others.

He doesn't, eyes glancing up, though he can't see him- the rock blocks him from seeing Martyn, tucked away in his little gap in the rock, just large enough for him to crouch in. And then Scott turns back around, and he doesn't say a word. He just listens as the team continues talking, chattering amongst themselves.

He doesn't dare breathe, not even a sigh of relief- it could tell them that he’s still here, that he’s not disappeared away again.

He pulls the first bundle of TNT from his inventory, holding it in shaking hands as he fumbles for his flint and steel, grasping it and bringing it up to the wick, striking it once, twice, three times, hands shaking as he tries to light it, watches as it continues to sputter out before the wick can catch.

And then it does catch, flaring to life with a sizzle and he shoves it away, pulling the next bundle free, lighting this one quicker than the previous. There’s a shout from below- someone spotting the TNT no doubt. But it hasn't exploded yet, he still has time.

He drops the second one.

The third is the easiest to light, and he drops that too, peering over the edge, some morbid curiosity filling him- to see if he can get the kill or not. To see if someone might stray a little too close to the detonating bomb.

But, no. They huddle in a corner, all watching the TNT with wide eyes, watching. Waiting. And then it explodes, and his ears beginning ringing, though not with bloodlust this time. Instead, he blinks, coughing as smoke fills his mouth and makes him choke. He pulls back from the small opening he created, hacking and choking on his own breath as shouts of panic break out below.

He peers in again, still blinking back the tears in his eyes, watches as the rock wall behind where everyone huddles begins to crack, begins to give way beneath the sudden lack of stability and structure.

Scott breaks free first, sprinting across the room and skidding to a halt before throwing himself up the small wall and onto the stairs. Only then does he turn back around, posture stiff and tense, watching as the room begins to flood through the small fissures in the rock.

The TIES groan and grumble at the sudden flooding, kicking through the water and sloshing it around their ankles. And Martyn should move on, should leave now that Scott has thrown him under the bus- they could say something in the general chat at any moment, could condemn him to failing his one task.

But they don't, they continue complaining, continue kicking the water around. And Martyn finds himself far more fascinated about how scared Scott seems to be of the water, backing further and further away from the main room, beginning a slow, jerking path up the stairs, away from the steadily rising water and out of the splash zone of where the TIES have begun splashing water at each other.

Martyn watches Scott, files this odd information into his brain, alongside the way Scott avoids water like the plague. Doesn't even go near it despite having chosen to take up residence in the middle of the ocean, where you are surrounded by water.

And then one of the TIES shouts for his blood- and he knows they can't do that, they can't. It’s against the rules. And yet he flees anyway, squeezing back down the small corridor he’d hewn out, and sprinting for the surface.

He only looks back once he’s a safe distance away, watching as Tango and Skizz patrol the surface of their island and Scott climbs into his boat, and begins rowing back to his own island. Rowing, where someone else would have swam the short distance.

But the curse still lingers, still has its hooks in his mind. And he doesn't have time to sit around and watch Scott act odd, because he has other, far more pressing matters to attend to.

For now, at least.

=== === ===

III.

Scott’s island is bigger than it had been before. Spanning over a larger stretch of land, half-grown shoots of bamboo sticking out of the earth, marking out a perimeter. The leaves rustle gently in the breeze, and a few of the closer sticks of bamboo knock into each other, rattling in the wind.

A door stands at the entryway to the island, though there is no frame surrounding it. Truly, there is nothing but manners stopping him from bypassing the door completely, and stepping around. And also because it is far too comedic to knock on the door as well.

“Hi,” Scott peers around his door, not even bothering to open it. And…he’s wearing an odd crown of coral. Something he hadn't been wearing last time, at least. And the coral hasn't begun to bleach yet, remaining colourful despite being on land.

“Hi.” He responds, peering around the door as well, fist still pressed against the wood from where he’d knocked. The bridge is larger this time, too, more stable than it had been previously. He feels far less like he’s about to take an unwelcome dip into the ocean and far more like he’s going to remain nice and warm and dry.

“Um,” he stares at Scott for a moment longer. “Can I, uh, can I come in? Or,” he allows himself to trail off, still watching Scott. The crown certainly suits him, at least, even though the pinkish-orange colour of the coral is not something he’d ever have considered to go well with cyan.

The door swings open in front of him, and he almost startles at the abruptness of it, jerking his hand back and down to his side. “So,” Scott’s grinning, that grin that makes his teeth look far sharper than they actually are, “you've come crawling back, have you?”

“It’s,” he laughs, inching forward, “It’s not crawling back, it’s…sheepishly wandering in.” He smiles a little as he continues to inch his way forward, sliding past Scott and through the rather narrow ‘doorway’ when Scott doesn't move to stop him from entering. “Look,”

“You abandoned me,” Scott says, frowning. The sadness in his voice is incredibly fake, truly, no one would be buying it. But Martyn has to make a good impression, because this is his only chance at an alliance, and Scott is definitely a good choice for a teammate.

“I didn't abandon you,” he protests.

Scott ignores him. “You came to the coral isles, and then you left.”

“I didn't wanna kill you!” He protests, throwing his arms out. When Scott doesn't try to interrupt him, he continues. “I was already the boogey at that point, yeah, yeah, well done, you guessed it. Whatever. And then you were in the TIES’ hole, and I attempted to kill you, and if you attempt to kill someone then you don't immediately go crawling back to them and ask for an alliance! You leave them to cool down, to work out their frustration for a few hours, and then you come to grovel.”

“You're grovelling right now?” Scott raises an eyebrow. “I've seen better grovelling from a dehydrated plant.”

“Now that’s just hurtful, man.” He presses a hand to his chest. “And I am grovelling, I said sorry.”

“No you didn't.”

“I'm sorry,” he tries. “For, uh, trying to kill you- but in my defence! I was almost out of time, and there was a big group, and I was almost certain that the TNT would have gotten them.”

“It would have, if you threw all of it in at once.” Scott crosses his arms. “Throwing in just one, right after you lit the fuse too, Martyn, means that they had the time to react and then huddle, so the other ones didn't do anything.”

“So, what? I should just hang onto the TNT until it’s about to explode?” He’d have probably blown himself up if he’d done that- he can hardly remember anything from that panic-filled haze, so he doubts his planning skills were actually being used at any point.

“Yes.” Scott says, then sighs. “But I get it,” he shrugs as he turns away, “you were panicked, there’s a lot of pressure. I took out the first person I saw.” Martyn follows after Scott as he moves a little closer to the centre of the island, unsure whether he’s actually welcome to stay here or if Scott’s just humouring him.

“So,” he decides to break the ice, trailing behind Scott. “Can, can I move in?” He scuffs his feet against the ground, and Scott turns at his question. Scott frowns, lips pursed as he looks him up and down again.

“You're wanting to be a coral kid?” Scott asks. He sounds almost…pleasantly surprised.

“Okay, uh,” he laughs, “maybe not a coral kid,” Scott frowns a little deeper, “but I've come back with ideas- name ideas, okay? You know, I've been out and about, travelling the world,” the tiny little world they're confined in for the foreseeable future. “Uh,” he scrambles to keep talking, taking a few steps back from Scott, away from the small area he has set up in the middle of the island. Scott doesn't follow after him, propping a hip against the crafting bench. “I'm older, I'm wiser. I'm smarter,” he nods to himself, glancing back at Scott.

Scott seems to be mildly amused by him, head tilted at a slight angle as he watches him talk, smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“I've got some name suggestions,” he finishes, giving a little jazz hands as Scott continues to stare at him. He’s got that same eyeshadow on again, glinting around the corners of his eyes. Maybe it’s his new thing for this iteration of the games- people try new things all the time.

“Okay,” Scott drags the word out, but he gestures for him to continue. Martyn is absolutely going to get to stay on this island, thank god.

“Alright,” he rocks forward onto the balls of his feet before rocking back again, “so, obviously, there’s coral kids.” Scott nods his head, “Not too bad, but, you know, I think it makes us sound kinda like pushovers? Uh,” he thinks for a moment, “next one on the list honestly isn't that great either, though, so, damp dudes? Feeling that one?”

Scott clicks his tongue, leaning back on the crafting bench a little further, before shaking his head. “Nope, don't enjoy that one.”

“Alright,” that wasn't his best one, but better to lead with his worst because they can only get better from here on out. Hopefully. “Seeing as this isn't really much of an ocean,” and it isn't, “how about puddle pals?”

“No,” Scott’s response is immediate. “Puddle feels even less,” Scott pulls a face and Martyn gets the message.

“Okay.” Maybe he should have written them all down in a list. He’d spent most of last night brainstorming ideas, hoping to put himself on Scott’s right side and gain a teammate if he can impress him with a team name. “So, I was imagining leather jackets for this next one- like the bad boys’ jackets,”

“You know Jimmy just stole his from Tango, right?” Scott’s grinning, leaning forward a little.

“Really?” He blinks, thinks about it for a moment, then, “Yeah, that makes sense. Timmy doesn't seem like the kind to own a jacket more of a-”

“Denim guy, yeah.” Scott nods his head along, hair falling in front of his eyes before Scott brushes it back again. Martyn finds himself watching Scott for a moment too long before he averts his eyes again, moving a little further around the island. Scott swings his legs over the crafting table to watch him go.

“Alright, us in leather jackets: sons of beaches.” Scott doesn't say anything in response to that one, and when Martyn turns around the other is just staring at him, apparently slightly lost for words. He laughs a little, more out of nervousness at Scott’s silence.

“It’s, hm,” Scott pauses to think. “It’s better than the other two, but, uh.”

“Alright, alright. I've still got a few more,” he nods, even though his list is very rapidly running a little short. “I know you like the film Mean Girls,” Scott nods at that, “so what about Mean Shells?”

Scott tips his head to the side, still staring at Martyn. He stares for long enough, apparently lost enough in thought, that Martyn begins to feel a little flustered beneath Scott’s undivided attention. The green of the man’s eyes is far too intense compared to their normal blue, and it freaks him out. Just a bit.

“I like it,” Scott says, “but I don't know if people will get that reference.” Scott pulls a face, “Mean Gills, would’ve been-”

“Mean Gills!” He bounces a little in place, pointing at Scott and nodding. Scott looks a little taken aback by his enthusiasm, but smiles after a moment anyway. “Yeah, yeah! You've nailed that one there. Mean Gills,” he repeats to himself.

“Did you have any more?” Scott asks.

“Only a couple. What about beauty and the beach?”

“Okay,” Scott nods, “do like that. But which one of us is going to be the beauty and which one of us is gonna be the beach? Because I can tell you right now which one I don't want to be.”

“Oh yeah, alright. What about santa’s little kelpers?” He grins, quite proud of that one.

Scott looks rather unimpressed. “Bit too seasonal.”

“You're a harsh critic, Smajor.” He laughs, “Big buoys? Like, spelt like the, the floating things? B-U-O-Y-S.”

Scott shakes his hand back, side to side. “I think the bad boys would get annoyed with us there, encroaching on their territory and all that. And like, they might be bad at these games, but they've also got full diamond and enchanted armour, so I don't really want to go around annoying them, yeah? Trying not to make enemies just yet.”

“Sal-men?” He tries. His list is dwindling now, though Scott is cracking a smile at a few of these, so it’s not a total loss.

“Oh, no,” Scott shakes his head. “I've had a whole,” he gestures with a flippant hand, “salmon fiasco in the past. Let’s not go there.”

“LGB-Sea?” He says. “Like, like S-E-A?” He laughs a little, because it was a rather bad joke on its own really, but Scott seems to find it funny too because he’s laughing as well, leaning forward on his makeshift seat as he giggles.

“I like the-” Scott laughs again. “LGB-Sea is great.”

“Alright, alright, last one, and maybe we should just lock this one in straight away because I like this one: H-Two-Bros.”

“H-Two-Bros is great,” Scott’s lips are quirked up in a smile, the skin around his eyes crinkling as he smiles, that blue eyeshadow flashing in the light again. “But I'm kinda torn between that and mean gills.” Scott’s eyes then widen a little. “Not that either of us have gills, though,” he laughs, hand rubbing at the back of his neck. “That would be ridiculous.”

“Yeah,” his eyebrows crinkle together. “Neither of us have gills. But we’re going for the ocean-y fish theme, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Scott nods, “why don't we get Pearl’s opinion on this?”

Pearl’s? The question is half-formed on his tongue before Pearl pops out of the water, spraying it everywhere. Scott is halfway across the island a moment later, looking rather like a startled cat even though he was the one that requested Pearl join them.

Pearl then shakes like a dog, hair and water flying everywhere, hitting him as well. He winces as a stray chunk of hair hits him in the face. He backs up a few steps, away from the edge of the island and the danger zone that is currently surrounding Pearl.

“Ask me what?” She asks, rather cheery.

“We’re choosing a name for the people on this island,” Martyn gestures between him and Scott, who is yet to return from his corner of scared cat-ness. “And we’ve got two contenders currently: Mean Gills and H-Two-Bros.”

“I like Mean Gills better, it’s kinda cute.” Pearl laughs.

The conversation devolves from there, and before he knows it he’s rummaging around in his inventory to find a few bits of gunpowder and handing them over to Pearl. “I cremated her.” He says with a smile, watching as Pearl’s eyes widen slightly, glancing up at him, then back down at the gunpowder.

“I'm leaving,” she says, voice high-pitched. “This is not,” she shakes her head, hopping back into the ocean. She doesn't emerge until she’s several feet away from the island, water splashing as she kicks her way towards the next body of land.

“I don't know what she wanted me to say!” He laughs, though it’s a poor defence, really. Scott laughs a little as well, moving back towards the centre of the island now that Pearl has left. Scott didn't seem to hold any ill will towards Pearl, so Martyn doesn't understand why he avoided her so clearly. “She wants her dead dog from the last games, I don't have anything for her!”

“You could've saved that until she gave me the grass,” Scott frowns. “We only have a little bit now.”

“Eh, it’ll spread in no time.” He assures.

=== === ===

IV.

His hourglass is beginning to come together nicely, even with only the barebones of the structure constructed so far. The chest of resources he’s gathered for this mini project sits a few feet behind him, lid swung open so he doesn't have to keep opening it whilst building.

Scott sits on the small deck chair he’s built for himself, leaning back in it and watching him build. He had been wearing sunglasses, up until the point where Martyn had pointed out that he looked like one of the bad boys and he’d taken them off rather quickly after that.

He’s squinting against the sun as he watches Martyn build, still wearing that eyeshadow despite only getting up half an hour earlier. Martyn hadn't even seen him put it on, but it had been there as soon as he was up, so he must have put it on at some point.

Not that he noticed it immediately. He’s taken to watching Scott recently, but he’s not been staring at his eyes. His eyes might look rather nice, but that doesn't mean Martyn is caught up in staring at them all the time.

“See something you like?” Scott tips his head to the side, eyes still squinted mostly shut. Scott then stretches out on the deck chair, raising one arm above his head. He even winks, just to add to the effect.

“Not really,” he snorts, turning back to his hourglass. He still needs to add most of the glass to it, and that’s definitely going to be the most time-consuming part of this whole affair; he’s going to have to make sure he doesn't bend any of the glass too far and shatter it- why did he decide to build this again? It’s hardly going to be functional and Scott’s beach house is plenty large enough for the two of them. Their beds are side by side in there, too, and he’s not going to be moving out of there any time soon. “Keep dreaming, Scott.”

Scott hums behind him, and he can feel the other man’s eyes on him as he rummages through the chest, collecting as much glass as he can comfortably hold.

“Make sure you don't bend it too far,” Scott says as he starts to place the glass into its frame. “It’s an inflexible material and it will just shatter if you bend it too far.”

“Thanks for that, Scott. I am well aware.”

“Just making sure!” When he looks back Scott’s got his hands raised in surrender, drink held in one of them- when did he get a drink? He stares at Scott for a moment, and Scott stares back at him, before taking a sip from his drink. Where did he even get a straw from? Did he bring it with him?

…Honestly, he can see Scott doing exactly that for a moment like this.

“I just don't want to be the one cleaning you up if you manage to slice your hand open on some of the glass.” Scott shrugs, drink sloshing dangerously against the side of his glass. Scott seems to realise this, jerking the drink away from him hurriedly, before grinning at Martyn.

“I'm hardly going to slice my hand open on the glass,” he snorts. “What do you take me for, some kind of idiot?”

“Just remember that I dated Jimmy for a while, okay?” Scott says. Martyn takes his momentary distraction to slot a few of the glass panes in without any judgement or commentary. He’s all for ribbing at someone, but Scott takes it to an entirely new, rather impressive, level. “Love the guy, he’s great, but he was rather accident prone. I'm just making sure you don't hurt yourself.”

“Giving me the boyfriend treatment, Smajor?” He calls back, picking up the next piece of glass, bending it ever so slightly, careful with the amount of force he applies as he begins slotting it into its place.

“If you want, I've been told I'm rather good.”

The glass breaks in his hands, unable to withstand the sudden increase in pressure from his grip. And, hm. He stares down at his hands, brain not quite registering the pain yet, only that there is a lot of red. Probably a bit more than there should be.

“Scott?” He calls, not turning back around. Scott hasn't made any quip about him breaking the glass, so Martyn doubts he actually heard the glass breaking.

“Yeah,” Martyn can hear the rattling of ice against glass.

“Can you get tetanus from glass?” He asks. The pain is beginning to filter through his system, overtaking the shock and adrenaline of moments later to begin stinging. And then burning, a little.

“Uh,” Scott goes silent for a moment. “I don't think so?”

“That’s good.” He nods along. That is quite a bit of blood, and he thinks he might be going a bit light-headed from the blood loss. “You gotta promise not to make fun of me, alright?”

“I am not promising that.” Scott says. He can hear someone standing up. “Turn around, Martyn.”

He does, not sure what else to do. Scott is only a few inches from him when he turns around, and it’s enough to make him startle. Scott frowns at him for a moment- and they're both far closer than they've been during Martyn’s small stay here, and he can see the eyeshadow up close now, and it almost looks like-

“What did I tell you?” Scott interrupts his thoughts, and he snaps back into focus, slightly.

“Lots of things.”

“About the glass,” Scott stresses, grabbing his hand and shaking that as well a moment.

“Oh, yeah, don't bend it.”

“And what did you do?” Scott asks.

“Bend it?” He responds. “Look, man, I just wanna sit down, alright? I'm not…feeling great.”

“Yeah, no shit, Martyn. Look at this!” He shakes Martyn’s hand around a little, fingers smearing with blood. “This is why we don't play around with glass.”

“It’s your fault, anyway.” He frowns at Scott. “You surprised me.”

“I surprised you.” Scott deadpans. “And so it’s my fault.”

“Exactly.” He tries to point at Scott, but Scott is still holding one of his wrists, so the movement is far less confident and smooth than he had been hoping it would be.

“God, you're worse than Jimmy.” Scott drags a hand down his face. And his hand had blood on it, meaning he’s just smearing blood over his face. “How are you worse than Jimmy?”

“I take offence at that.”

“You can take offence at it when you're not about to pass out at the sight of some blood.”

“I'm not about to pass out,” he scoffs. Or tries to. He doesn't actually know how convincing it is, because everything sounds like it’s underwater. “It’s the blood loss.”

“You have not lost enough blood to feel dizzy.” Scott tells him, still gripping his wrist. “You're just squeamish.”

“Am not.” He tugs at the grip Scott’s got on him. “No way I’d have made it through so, so many of these games if I was squeamish.” It’s the blood loss- the same blood loss that is making the world spin around him like everything just’s been cranked up really high on speed, and his eyes ache with it.

“Martyn,” Scott sighs, but his voice is really muffled, and, wow, is that the ocean? The water is always super warm around here, he’s pretty sure it’s because of the biome they're in, but he always enjoys it. It’s like a slightly colder than usual bath- still warm but not too warm.

And it’s just as warm this time as he sinks into it, breath escaping him in a bubbly sigh.

There’s a loud splashing sound above him, and he squints his eyes open, but the saltwater makes everything blurry, and his eyes hurt already, so he squints them shut again. Something grabs at his arm, yanking him upwards.

And he resists, because this water is really warm and nice, and he actually rather likes it, really. Whatever is dragging him around, though, doesn't seem to care what he thinks, but he’s unceremoniously pushed onto dry land a moment later.

He breathes in, coughing a little and squinting his eyes open to watch as he coughs up water. His throat feels dry and scratchy, and his vision is still blurry. Blurry enough that he can't see much beyond vague shapes and colours.

Something moves in front of him, a little water lapping at his fingers as he opens his eyes a little more to try and get a better look at the- whatever it is in front of him. There’s a flash of deep blue, and then the whatever-it-was thing is gone. Huh.

Something flicks him on the forehead, and he blinks his eyes open again, finding that he’s lying on something far softer than the dirt ground, and blinking up at Scott. Scott is staring down at him, eyes flicking over his face, before he leans back so there’s more than just an inch of space between them.

“Good to see you're awake.” Scott says.

“When did I fall asleep?” He asks, going to push himself up, only to wince when sharp pain lances through his hand. He hisses beneath his breath, easing his weight off that hand.

“You didn't.” Scott smiles at him, but it’s the kind of smile someone wears when they're trying to hold back a laugh. “I didn't know you were squeamish.”

“I'm not.”

“Then why did you pass out at the sight of blood?” Scott asks, head tilting to the side. The bandages around Martyn’s fingers make them feel thick and clumsy, and the pain that sparks through his palm every time he flexes them is enough to stop him from moving that hand too much. “Sounds like you're pretty squeamish to me.”

“I'm not.” He protests, though his attempts seem to be in vain because Scott has actually started laughing at him now.

“Mhm,” Scott nods. “Seems like your hourglass is going on hiatus for a short while.”

“Ugh,” he lets his head drop back to the pillow, staring up at the sky. It’s cloudless. “Did I fall in the water?” He asks, after a moment.

“Yes, why?”

“My clothes feel all…disgusting.”

“Well, I didn't wash them for you. I'm not your personal servant.” Scott pokes him on the arm, just hard enough to hurt.

“Never said you were,” he rubs at his arm absently, frowning at Scott. “Did you see any big fish while I was attempting to drown myself?”

“Big…fish?” Scott’s back has gone a little stiff, and he looks down at Martyn with confusion.

“Yeah, kinda blue-y. Didn't see it for long, but.” He shrugs, which is actually a lot more difficult to do lying down than he thought it would be.

“No, I didn't see anything like that.”

“Hm.” Is all Martyn says in response. He doesn't buy it for one moment, but Scott’s stiffer than a stick of bamboo, and he knows when to leave well enough alone. “Alright then.”

=== === ===

V.

He wakes up to something that is very much so silence, but there was also definitely something that just woke him up- something that was not silence. But it’s dark, and the moon is just past a new moon, meaning he is blind and left scrambling around in the dark for a light source that might reveal what just made a noise and then abruptly stopped making noise.

He fumbles around for a few moments longer, attempting to find a light source- any kind will do, really, he just wants to be able to see rather than scramble around helplessly and hope that it’s not someone come to kill him. Oh god, he hopes it’s not someone come to kill him.

He manages to find a torch eventually, hands closing tightly around it, before he begins another search for something to light it with. It takes him several more long and painful moments to find something to light it with. Because it is dark, and he is blind.

When he does light it, he almost expects to find someone looming over him, before unseen in the darkness now brought into the light and silhouetted by the moon before they kill him where he sleeps. But the torch doesn't light up any ominous figure, and it doesn't reflect off of any weaponry either.

He relaxes a little, laughing to himself slightly as he slumps down into his bed. He’s careful to keep the torch away from his bedsheets, as he’d rather not accidentally set himself on fire. He’s had enough accidents in the past few days, and his hand is still sore and tender from his most recent stunt.

But he still hasn't found whatever it was that woke him up in the first place- and it wouldn't have been the bamboo or sugarcane shaking in the breeze either, because he’s gotten used to the quiet sounds they make when the breeze leaps over the water and towards them- hard not to get used to them when he’s constantly surrounded by the sound.

The sound of the waves against the edges of the island also hadn't bothered him beyond the first night, where he’d had to cover his ears with his pillow because he just couldn't sleep and the waves didn't stop. But he can tune them out easily now, and it becomes just another part of the background noise of their island.

He laughs a little to himself as he continues to look around, because he is being far, far, too paranoid for his own good, really. No one has even gone red yet! It’s way too early for someone to be red, and the next boogeyman hasn't even been picked yet. So, really, the only thing he’s got to worry about is Skizz. And he highly doubts Skizz is going to make a trip over to their base in the middle of the night to murder him in his sleep. Especially when Scott is right next to him and it would be two-versus-one-

Or, it would be, if Scott was currently in his bed. Which he’s not. The bedsheets are pushed down to the bottom of the bed, lying in a crumpled heap that is a far cry from the way Scott normally makes his bed (Martyn’s convinced Scott does it just to shame him into making his bed as well. Which won't work! It’s been tried before, and it’s not going to start working now, of all times).

But the bed has obviously been slept in, which Martyn also knows because they’d gone to bed at the same time after putting the campfire out. Martyn had chucked a bucket of water over it for good measure, aware of how easily the fire could spread to the grass and then they’d be toast - literally.

He does a cursory glance around the island, holding the torch up a little higher as he peers around. But it’s not a very big island, and the only potential hiding spots are behind his hourglass (which is see-through) and behind the chests (which is just dumb). And Scott is nowhere to be seen, even as Martyn looks around again, in case he missed something on his first sweep.

But the results remain the same, and Scott is nowhere to be seen. But, when he presses a hand to Scott’s bed, it’s still warm, meaning he can't have been gone for very long. Which also means that Scott moving about was probably what woke him up in the first place.

The circumstances are still odd, but Scott has had multiple chances to let him die over the past few days, so he’s feeling rather secure in their alliance right now.

Scott’s mysterious disappearance aside, he’s awake now, and rather unlikely to go back to sleep anytime soon. Especially as Scott is still gone, and he probably won't be able to relax until the other returns. Safety in numbers, and all that. If it’s just him on his own, he’s much more vulnerable to an attack, but if Scott’s here, then there’s two of them, and they can both make sure the other doesn't die in a stupid way.

And he might also be a little worried.

Sue him! His teammate disappears in the middle of the night without so much as a word, a note, or even a private message to let him know where he’s gone. Instead, he’s left on an island in the pitch dark with no knowledge about his teammate’s whereabouts.

He swings his legs over the side of the bed, shuffling towards where he’d kicked his sandals off earlier. The sound of his feet against the wooden boards is barely audible. He slips the sandals on easily, stepping down onto the grass a moment later, beginning to putter around their area.

Some of the sugar cane has grown tall enough to be harvested, and so he chops a few of the stems, bundling them together in one hand as he moves onto the next plant, repeating the process. Once he has enough sugarcane that he can't carry any more, he meanders over to their chests, dumping the sugarcane inside, organising it slightly so Scott doesn't complain about it in the morning.

He goes back over to the next section of sugarcane that has grown enough, cutting the stems again, repeating until he can't carry anymore. He returns to the chest with his second load. He doesn't return to cutting the sugarcane after that, mainly because there isn't any more sugarcane to cut, but also because Scott isn't back yet, and he’s beginning to get more than a little worried about his wellbeing.

He sits at the edge of their island, in a small gap he’s created in the bamboo and sugarcane, for easy access for boats from the rear of the island- perfect for a quick escape if they ever needed to make one.

He allows his legs to trail through the water, kicking them back and forth, watching as it laps at his knees, the waves breaking before they reach the very edge of the island. The water is as warm as it always is, just a little bit cooler than a hot bath, but it’s darker than it usually is as well.

During the day, the waters are a crystalline blue, allowing them to see to the very bottom. He’s spent more than a few hours sat watching the wildlife dart in and out of the coral, tracking the shimmering shoals of fish that make their slow way through the coral reef.

He can hardly see the coral now, only vague shapes clustered together, some of them stretching up higher than the others. He can't see anything swimming between the bits of coral, but that doesn't mean that there’s nothing down there- there is almost certainly something that he can't see.

Even the faint glow of the sea pickles is hardly enough to light up the seabed, only a small pool of light around each one that’s so dim he can hardly see it.

He continues to sit there, ignoring thoughts of something swimming up and grabbing his ankle to pull him into the depths- there’s not going to be anything large enough to do that to him, and a small clownfish isn't going to be big enough to eat him, even if it tries its very best.

The water is soothing, at least, and he allows himself to stare at the small ripples, forgetting about his worry for a brief moment.

At least, he manages to forget about it until he sees something move out of the corner of his eye. He freezes, hands twisting into the grass at his side, threatening to uproot it. He watches as the shape moves, glittering scales outlining the apparent size of the thing.

It’s…large. Very big. Easily half the length of their entire island, if not a bit over. And things that big are hardly ever herbivores. And it is with that thought that he rather hurriedly pulls his legs out of the water, standing up. He doesn't move away from the edge, though, watching as the shimmering scales- bioluminescent, his brain reminds him, continue to circle around the island, almost lazily, before disappearing from sight.

He swallows, brain flashing to all worst-case scenarios. All of which involve him still being stood at the edge of the island when that…whatever it was reappears.

He backpedals, maybe a little hastily, and it might be stupid to feel a little safer when he’s back in his bed, sandals kicked off at the bottom of it. But Martyn has long since accepted that he might be a little stupid.

That feeling of safety doesn't help him get much sleep, though. But he must have fallen asleep at some point, because when he wakes up Scott is back, and he’s handing him a mug of coffee almost immediately- and Scott is definitely a godsend at times like this, he can't even deny it.

He doesn't ask where Scott went the previous night, and Scott doesn't offer any explanations. He also puts the sea monster (he is perfectly justified in calling it that! He doesn't know what it is!) out of his mind as best as he can.

And his best is almost good enough for him to completely forget about it

=== === ===

VI.

In all honesty, he had expected Scott’s suspicious behaviour to have more of a dramatic conclusion to it- something that would be shocking and just! Something different from what actually happened, at least. Because the way it happened is possibly the most stupid way Martyn has found out someone’s big and terrible secret (and he’s discovered several big secrets, each of which had far more explosive endings than this one did).

He pushes the door open with his shoulder, both of his arms full of the logs Martyn had left to collect because they were running low, and he rather enjoys their evenings around the fire with nothing but the crackling flames between them, which cast a rather complimentary light onto Scott’s face and makes the eyeshadow he wears glow even brighter than normal.

He makes direct eye contact with Scott, and Scott stares back at him. Scott is dripping wet, arms braced on the edge of their grassy island and in the process of hauling himself up. Scott is staring at him, and Martyn continues to stare back at him. Scott is covered in scales, deep blue scales that are really quite familiar-

Scott disappears with a small splash. Martyn drops the logs, not really caring if they land on the island or roll merrily into the water, instead sprinting over to the other side of the island and dropping to the ground, peering down into the water, hoping to catch any glimpse of Scott.

There’s a flash of blue scales between two things of coral, and he spares about a second to think through his idea before he’s kicking his sandals in and dropping his jacket off. He hesitates for a millisecond after that, and then simply dives in, plunging beneath the surface.

The one thing he appreciates about this biome is that the water is never a cold shock. The worst part about diving into water is always the cold shock, but the water here is warm, meaning he doesn't have to regather his bearings before he starts swimming after Scott.

It takes him a few seconds to realise that there is absolutely no way he’s going to catch up with Scott when the man is some kind of aquatic hybrid adapted for swimming. And he’s struggling to catch up with the other man for god’s sake.

He swims between the pieces of coral he had seen Scott swim between, ignoring the burn that’s beginning in his lungs, glancing around and squinting for any flicker of scales that would betray Scott’s whereabouts.

Something grabs him from behind, and he thrashes around for a moment, bubbles spilling from his mouth, and he almost inhales again on instinct before realising that he’s underwater, and that he definitely can't breathe underwater.

He breaks the surface, gasping for air as the grip on his arm remains iron, keeping him afloat as he regains his breath. He hadn't even realised his vision had started greying out a little until it began to clear up.

“Man,” he laughs. “I have gotta stop drowning myself, huh?”

“You are so incredibly stupid!” Scott responds, voice growling as he yells at him. “What the hell were you even thinking?”

“Wasn't, really.” He would shrug, but he’d also rather not accidentally submerge himself again, so he settles for a grin.

“I just-” Scott cuts himself off, shaking his head. It’s then that Martyn really gets an opportunity to take Scott in, eyes drifting over his face, taking in every small detail. He can see now, closer, that the eyeshadow that decorates the edges of Scott’s eyes isn't actually eyeshadow and is instead small scales. Scales which now spread to cover his cheeks and nose like some kind of freckle. Like, deep blue freckles.

In contrast, the fins at the side of his head are an orange-pink, fluttering slightly in agitation as they fan open before snapping shut again. The membrane of them is thin enough that he can see the sunlight filtering through them, making them almost glow.

“Huh.” He says, which is apparently enough to get Scott’s attention.

“Are you even listening to me?” Scott asks, and, huh, he didn't know Scott could growl like that.

“Not really,” he says. “I'm more caught up in your whole.” He gestures, because he doesn't really have words for what he’s thinking or feeling right now.

Scott’s eyes narrow and he pulls the arm supporting Martyn back, meaning he has to work to keep his head afloat. He reaches out for Scott again, grabbing onto his shoulders- and, oh wow, he’s not wearing a shirt. Like, at all. Huh.

He stares at Scott’s chest, and the scales covering large parts of it. They glint in the sunlight, wet from the water, which only makes them shine even more. They're smooth beneath his hand, and he finds himself rubbing a thumb back and forth over Scott’s shoulder without even thinking about it.

“Martyn,” Scott’s voice is half-strangled as he speaks, and when Martyn looks back at his face, away from the tail he had just noticed, he finds that Scott’s fins are pressed flat against his head, face faintly pink.

“Ah, sorry.” He stops rubbing his thumb over the scales on Scott’s shoulder, even though the pink flush of his face is really quite pretty- and. He’s not going to think about that one too hard, actually.

“It’s fine they're just,” Scott clears his throat, “sensitive.” One of Scott’s hands comes to rest beneath his elbow, supporting him a little more. “Aren't you a little- y’know, unnerved?”

“By what?”

“The whole scales and fishtail thing?” Scott quirks an eyebrow. “Normally people run screaming the other way.”

“I was more worried you were gonna freak out, honestly.” Martyn confesses. You looked a bit stressed before you just ducked back under.”

“Well, I am fine.” Scott clears his throat again, glancing away. “As lovely as this conversation is, I’d rather not be caught looking like this.”

“Why not? You look quite nice, honestly.”

“I- what?” The pink flush staining Scott’s cheeks is only barely visible beneath the scales covering most of them, but the scale-less parts of his neck and shoulders have turned pink as well.

“Aw, c’mon, Scott,” he leans a little closer, which isn't actually all that hard with their current positions. “You've been flirting with me for several days now, don't think I didn't notice.”

“I am a fish, Martyn.” Scott deadpans. “I am a literal fish and you're still absolutely onboard with this.”

“Absolutely still onboard with this, besides.” He rubs his thumb over Scott’s shoulder again, summoning his confidence with the action as he leans a little closer, close enough for their noses to brush. “You look really quite lovely right now- I thought you were wearing some really nice eyeshadow this whole time, and instead it’s these wonderful scales.”

“Martyn, stop, you're being ridiculous.”

“Aw, Scott.” He frowns as Scott pushes him away.

“I am not kissing you while we’re both in the middle of the ocean.” Scott says. “Also you stink of sweat.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do.” Scott pats him on the cheek. “You've been chopping trees all morning, and you're definitely flattering me right now; but I also have standards, and those standards include not kissing people that smell of sweat.”

“You're so rude to me, and after I was so nice to you.”

“I’ll be nice to you once you don't smell of sweat, dear.”

[everythinggrishaversebxm1012]

Slap or Kiss

Summary - Sometimes you aren't sure if you should slap or kiss Nikolai. This is one of those times. 1.1k words

✨⚓️

“My mother was an oyster,” Nikolai says with a grin before winking at you. “And I’m the pearl.”

“Oh Saints, that was horrible Nikolai Lantsov,” you say with a laugh. This was one of those moments where you really weren’t sure if you should slap him or kiss him. This was always how it went, every evening. You and Nikolai finding yourselves tangled up in the sheets of his bed together, wrapped in each other’s embrace, away from the world and reality.

“I thought you enjoyed my good looks and my wit,” Nikolai responds with a chuckle before pushing himself up on one of his elbows to look at you, lips curving upwards into a grin. It was the kind of grin where you weren’t sure if you should slap him or kiss him.

“No. Quite the opposite,” you tease in response. You prop yourself up on your own elbow.

“The wit or the looks,” the King of Ravka inquires his grin widening. A few golden curls fall into his eyes.

You brush his hair away before responding with a grin of your own. “Both.”

Nikolai’s heart skips a beat at your touch. His free hand brushes over your hip, tracing small circles with his thumb, his gaze never leaving your face. “Now that’s just cruel. I’ve always believed that I’m––”

You cut him off immediately. “Don’t you dare call yourself boyishly handsome again,” you warn.

He looks almost offended. “Why not? What’s wrong with boyishly handsome?”

“You said it, that’s what’s wrong with it,” you respond, trying to suppress a smile still deciding if you should slap him or kiss him.

“Am I meant to believe that you don’t find me terribly handsome,” Nikolai challenges playfully, eyebrows raising slightly as you drop your head back onto the pillow.

You laugh in response, cheeks going slightly rosy. “On the contrary, I find you as beautiful as an unmoving rock with no shine or shimmer.”

He repeats his mock offended look before wrapping his arms around your waist, and half pressing himself on top of you. His chest against yours. “I’m a rock? I suppose that is the reason you cannot seem to get me off of you.”

You half-heartedly try to push him off of you but in truth you want to stay like that forever. Your legs remain tangled with his. “Whatever would Vasily think if he found us here,” you ask with a smile.

“I’m wounded. You lay here with me, yet all you can think about is my brother,” Nikolai asks before dramatically placing his hand over his heart, falling to the side of you.

You rolled your eyes in response before shaking your head. Yes, you certainly could get used to this. After a few moments of silence Nikolai pulls you back into his arms. Your forehead rests against his shoulder as he ghosts his fingers up and down your bare spine. You stay like for a while, a long while. At random times he presses kisses across your face––he middle of your forehead, your temple, cheeks, lips, chin, forehead again. “I meant to talk to you about something earlier today when we passed in the corridor.”

“About what,” you ask him, the Ravkan King’s fingers still gently running up and down your spine.

“Us,” he mutters.

“Mm?” You ask him before he gently presses his lips to yours.

One of his hands travels to your cheek, thumb gently brushing over it, back and forth methodically. The hand on your back pauses just below your shoulder blade. “I have a question. What if I asked you to marry me?”

“What?” You ask, sounding shocked. You did not expect that. You and Nikolai had been seeing each other secretly for almost a year. You preferred it that way. For one, you weren’t be closely inspected and watched by everyone in the court, and for two you were convinced the court and perhaps the people of Ravka would never except you as Nikolai’s choice. You certainly didn’t come from royalty. You were not a Grisha with fancy powers. You were  someone who he met by chance. Nikolai’s words pulled you from your own head.

“Will you marry me?” He whispers.

“You and I both know that wouldn’t be wise right now.” You give him a sympathetic look.

This time Nikolai looks actually shocked. Shocked because when would he choose what’s supposedly wise to Ravka’s court when’s he and the Ravkan people are too damn in love with you. “Who cares about what’s wise? I love you and as much as you might not believe it, the people love you too. From what they’ve seen of your work. All I know is that I love you and you are what would be good for the people. Forget about the damn court. I love you and I want you as my spouse. To hell with the fallout. So for Saints’ sake––for my sake, marry me,” he says. He’s clearly determined. His gaze is fixed on you. He doesn’t care about logic, or the flaws in the plan he just wants to be your husband, your lover and best friend from now through eternity.

“So the King of Ravka plans to keep his marriage secret, is that your plan? How would you manage that,” you ask him, skeptical of the entire situation.

Nikolai pulls you even closer to him if that is even possible. “What do you mean ‘secret’? I want everyone to know who and what you are to me. My best friend, my partner, my soulmate, my Queen. To hell with everyone who can’t accept us, but there will be no secrecy on my part. I will stand by the person I love, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks.”

“You and your damn mouth,” you say with a breathy laugh. “I will marry you one condition. We slowly wade in. We don’t tell anyone we are engaged, we get people used to the idea of us then we announce our engagement, and then we get married.”

“As long as I’m with you. Secretly together, engaged, married, whatever.” There is a momentary pause before Nikolai grins again, that same stupid one that makes you unsure if you should slap him or kiss. “I never heard a definitive yes from you, Darling. Will you marry me?”

You let out another breathy laugh before deciding that kissing him was the better option at the moment. Nikolai’s arms tighten around your middle, facing coming closer to you. Then his lips are on yours and you think Yes. The kiss was definitely the right choice.

[violettduchess]

Gilbert's POV around the MC 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

A/N: I AM DONE GRADING and I can finally breathe again. How better to celebrate the return of (some) free time than with the Prince of Obsidian?

Gilbert x f reader, Gilbert's POV

WC: 707

I know where you are, Häschen. I know where you like to go when you are done with your studies. How you walk the same path to the palace library every evening, the tension of your day slowly melting away like drops of sunshine as soon as you step through those double doors and surround yourself with the familiar, comforting sight of all those books. Then your face lights up and I watch the way your smile reaches your bright eyes. You are at peace now, walking to your favorite sitting chair, the book you have been reading on the small wooden table, a white silk ribbon your book marker.

You’ve settled in, eyes already greedily consuming the words right where you left off. You’re lost, sinking into the starry mist of whatever world is laid out before you, page for glorious page. This is why my presence startles you. The tap of my cane, done with intentional emphasis, rips you from your book, scatters the mist and leaves you wide-eyed and vulnerable. Don’t think I miss the way your gaze darts towards the double doors, which I have conveniently pulled closed and barred. No one will interrupt my meeting with you tonight.

Your voice flutters like a moth trapped under glass as you ask what I am doing here, in the library, so late in the evening. I turn, gesturing with one hand to all the books that surround us, my smile fixed in place. Why, I’m here to read, same as you. My words are no comfort to you. I can tell by the way you glance at the door, the white-knuckle grip of your fingers on the table’s edge. But you are too polite, too petal-soft, to question me, even as I stroll to the shelf, walking my leather-clad fingers over the embossed spines of all the books, finally stopping on a treatise on hunting.

Fitting, I suppose, under the circumstances.

The irony has me grinning as I sink down into the chair next to yours. You expected me to sit across from you. I enjoy not meeting your expectations. From my spot next to you, your scent reaches me. That undeniable mix of rose and lavender. When I learned that you mixed oil from both blossoms, I had several vials made for myself. Just a few drops and you are there. My handkerchief. My pillow. My bath.

I open my book, reading the page once and it is committed to memory. But you don’t know that about me yet and so I linger, acting as though I am a slow reader so that I can take in the sound of your breathing, too quick to be relaxed, and the feel of your gaze as you steal quick glances at me. You are also only pretending to read.

“What do you want?” 

Ah, the bunny has found some courage although your eyes are still on your page, as if avoiding eye contact with me somehow keeps you safe.

“What do I want....?” A thousand answers flood my mind.

I want to sweep the books off this table and lay you down on it.

I want to press your soft body between the hard wood and myself, feeling the surrender in your muscles as you go lax under my touch.

I want to hear you whimper my name among all of these hallowed tomes, to bring a soundless room to life with your gasps.

I want to lose myself in the feel of your skin, the taste of your mouth.

I want to devour you until there is nothing left.

I want to feel your fingernails rake the skin of my back and leave proof of your desire.

I want to bite you, your sweetness on my tongue, and leave proof of mine.

I want to wrap you in my arms, to hold you as tightly as an oyster guarding a precious pearl.

I want to protect you from every sorrow, every pain, every bruise that life may try to mar you with.

I want to keep you all for myself. No other eyes should ever rake over your form. No other touch should ever grace your skin.

I want to smother you in my love.

I want to drown in yours.

“I want....to be your friend.”

Tagging: @aquagirl1978 @alixennial @alexxavicry @queengiuliettafirstlady @rhodolitesrose @ikemen-writer @bellerose-arcana @thewitchofbooks @redheadkittys @dear-mrs-otome @firestar-otomeobsessed @curious-skybunny @kpop-and-otome @writingwhimsey @mxrmaid-poet @silver-dahlia @wendolrea @otomefoxystar @nightfoxqueen @myonlyjknight @queen-dahlia @aceuuuuu @scorchieart @joiedecombat

[storiesofaot]

Hello! I was hoping to have a closure for Hange in season 4 because I just feel that there are so much that she had to go through and there doesnt seem to be a lot of support for her (her shorty, unfortunately, is stuck with the monkey in the forest).

Wondering if I can send in a request for a short fic. My thoughts are below:-

1) I like to think of Hange as the Survey Corp princess who dare to challenge things. And all the big brothers in SC will just allow her to do any "nonsense" - Levi, Miche and Erwin, while still being protective over her like the little sister.

2) With this in mind, I have this thought of an oyster or mussel which either she found/ or was gifted. And there is a moment of reflection, whether is her own introspection or a dialogue with Levi, after she became commander.

3) The dialogue came to to a discovery of a pearl. And then she reflected how she was a pearl, being protected and smoothed by all the people around her (who had since dead). May include how she reflected about her own shortcomings and annoyance etc but I leave it to you.

4) This pearl/ oyster thing became a comfort for her after Eren grabbed her collar and when she had that moment of self-doubt in Season 4.

5) Bonus: if somehow Levi felt something at that moment while he is in the forest??

Thanks so much. Hope it is not a lot. I just wanted Hange in season 4 to have some comfort and support.

Thank you so much for your request, @eueuphoriaz ! An oyster as a metaphor for Hange’s development was such a beautiful and also fitting idea - I hope I did justice to it! 🥺

Rating: G ; Word Count: 1851

Title: The Pearl Within

Hange’s mind was overflowing with countless thoughts as her gaze swept over the horizon, where only a faint stripe of purple remained visible above the water’s surface. Had the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers really come with the intention of joining forces, or was this merely a setup by Marley to weaken them from within before launching their attack?

It all sounded very convincing, of course it did. Yet now it was up to her to determine if they were telling the truth or if they were trying to lead them into a trap. It might seem like a minor decision at the moment, but it could impact the entire future of Paradis Island and determine whether they would end up in a war or not.

Suddenly, she could hear some footsteps from behind, and when she turned around, she saw Levi approach her at a leisurely pace. “What are you doing here all alone?” he asked when he came to a stop next to her, eyeing her with a mix of curiosity and concern.

Hange sighed and let her gaze drift over the sea again. “Nothin. Just … thinking.” For a little while, the two of them remained standing next to each other in comfortable silence, him not pushing her to talk while she tried to sort through her thoughts.

“I am not sure if we can trust them,” Hange finally said, looking back at Levi. “What they say does make sense … but with Zeke involved, I fear they might have plans they’re not letting us in on. I mean, they practically admitted that they won’t tell us their full plan until we officially agree to work with them.”

Levi snorted with disdain, his expression growing darker. “I wouldn’t trust anything that stupid monkey says. He’s definitely the one pulling the strings, and I’m sure he wouldn’t hesitate to betray us, even if the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers claim to be our allies. I believe -“

He broke off when he noticed a group of Marleyans nearby, being escorted into another tent by two Scouts, their curious gazes lingering on them. “Let’s talk somewhere else,” he murmured, nodding towards the rocky beach. 

Hange agreed, and together they climbed down the stony incline until they stood on smaller pebbles not far from the water, where they were safe from curious ears. “But I wonder,” she continued, “if they might be our only chance to reach the same level of technological advancement as the rest of the world. We’re significantly behind in that regard, and I’m not sure we’d find anyone else willing to help us with that.”

Levi tilted his head, seeming to ponder her words. Eventually, he broke the silence. Eventually, he broke the silence. “Advancements are great, but let’s not kid ourselves into thinking they solve everything. Even if we know how to use their stuff, they might still use it against us. I doubt they are willing to share all their information with us.”

They continued their discussion for a while, but all they ended up with were numerous arguments for and against an alliance. Once again, Hange felt fear and frustration tightening around her chest, and as night fell, she sensed that a shadow had also fallen over the hope she had once held.

“I’m not sure if Erwin chose the right person to be commander,” she said bitterly. “What if I make the wrong decision, and instead of making things better I put us in an even more dangerous position?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself; even Erwin would have struggled with the decision,” Levi said, his voice unusually soft. “You’ve learned a lot from him and from the past, and he trusted you for a reason. You’ve got the grit and the brains to make the right call; he wouldn’t have made you commander if he didn’t believe you were capable of it.”

Hange bit her lip, reflecting on what Levi had just said. He was right in a way - Erwin had significantly influenced her approach to problems and her thinking in general. They had first met as cadets, and their camaraderie had continued when he became Section Commander. It had evolved into a friendship when she had followed him, and persisted when he was promoted to Commander. Throughout all these stages, Erwin had always supported and encouraged her. Of course, he had had his doubts and concerns about her sometimes unconventional ideas, but if she could convince him that something felt right, he would relent and let her take the lead. No, she knew she wouldn’t have come this far without his guidance, nor without the support of her other fellow comrades who, simply with their presence, had allowed her to develop and grow into the woman she was today.

A sudden warmth flushed through her as she remembered all the people who had been by her side throughout her life, and she hoped that wherever they were now, they could feel her gratitude for having met them.

She had been silent for quite a while, but when Levi suddenly moved beside her, it was as if she was abruptly pulled from a dream back into reality. Levi pulled something from his jacket pocket that Hange couldn’t immediately identify. It was oval-shaped, with a muted greyish tone and a slight sheen, but it wasn’t until he held it out to her that she realised what it was: an oyster shell.

Almost instinctively, she reached for it and gently weighed it in her hand, intrigued by the small object. She had never actually held one before and only had seen pictures of them. “Where did you find this?”

“At this beach,” Levi replied. “This morning, while I was on watch and doing my rounds, I found it lying among the stones. I suppose it must have been washed ashore.”

“You know it’s extremely rare for oysters to be found onshore? Normally, you’d have to go out to sea to catch them - you must’ve been very, very lucky!” Hange tried to return the oyster, but he shook his head.

“No, I didn’t know that. But that’s why I’m not supposed to keep things like this - I’d never appreciate them properly,” Levi replied with a shrug.

“Oh … thank you!” Hange smiled, feeling a soft flutter in her chest at his kind gesture. But once again, Levi just made a dismissive gesture, as if it were no big deal. 

“Don’t stay out here for too long; it’s getting pretty chilly,” he finally said after a brief pause, turning to leave. Hange grinned to herself; that was the Levi she knew. Always retreating when things got a bit too cosy for his liking.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back before frostbite kicks in,” she teased, very pleased to see him roll his eyes - one of her favourite reactions from him. “Oh, and by the way, could you send some of that luck my way? I think I could really use it in the near future.”

“Sure, I'll pack it into a little package, with a ribbon and everything, and leave it on your desk.” To anyone else, his voice might have sounded as serious as always, but Hange could detect the faintest hint of playful irony in it, and it delighted her. Giving her one final nod, Levi turned around completely and disappeared.

She remained standing at the beach for a while, absentmindedly playing with the oyster. It was slightly cracked open, and when she tried to peek inside, she glimpsed a hint of the nacre, shimmering white with pale blue highlights. Curiously, she ran her finger over the opening and then tapped lightly on its shell - and to her surprise, she could hear a faint sound, as if something was moving inside. A surprised gasp escaped her lips. Could it be that there was actually a pearl inside? The chances were slim, yet she couldn’t resist the urge to find out.

Carefully, she attempted to pry the two halves of the shell apart, her fingers working gently to create a small, widening gap without breaking it. Once the gap was large enough, she turned the shell around and, to her astonishment, she felt something small fall into the palm of her hand. With delight, she gazed at the smooth, creamy-beige pearl, holding it between two fingers before letting it fall back into her palm again.

What wonders Mother Nature worked. A foreign object entered the oyster’s shell, triggering the production of nacre as the oyster protected itself. Over months or years, it built up layer after layer around the irritant until a pearl was fully formed.

For some reason, Hange felt a connection with this process: her journey had begun with her own internal struggles and challenges. She had always had a clear vision of what she wanted, but often people didn’t take her seriously and sometimes even laughed at her. However, over time, the influence and support from her comrades - especially Erwin and Levi - their wisdom, experience, and guidance, had enveloped her, smoothing her rough edges and shaping her into the person and leader she was now. Of course, her insecurities remained; deep down, she was still the same. But she had acquired the means to handle them and tackle difficult situations, and it was only then that she realised how much those she had left behind continued to live within her.

“I’ll do my best, Erwin,” she whispered, her gaze fixed on the pearl. “I don’t know if I’ll succeed, but I’ll at least try.”

◇

Over the next few years, she always kept the oyster with the pearl in her jacket pocket, as a kind of good luck charm, but also as a comforting reminder of all the people she had to leave behind, who had such a profound impact on her life.

When her heart ached from having to arrest Floch and his followers, dealing with their radical ideologies, and she felt like everything around her was starting to crumble amidst the growing division and dissatisfaction, she reached into her pocket and began to fumble with the oyster shell, thinking about Levi and the fortunate day he had found it and hoping that some of his luck would rub off on her.

And when she broke down in front of the cellar door after her confrontation with Eren, feeling a growing sense of desperation because, although his methods were undeniably wrong, she could understand the source of his strong feelings, she reached into her pocket and clenched the pearl in her fist, hiding it within her closed fingers, its pressure against her palm a reminder that, amidst the chaos she was enduring, there were traces of Erwin within her that she just needed to find.

Little did she know that, some distance away in the forest, Levi was thinking about her, as if he sensed her struggle and wished he could do more than just silently support her. Although she was unaware of it, she felt a small spark of comfort igniting within her at that moment. And it was enough to keep her going.

[princessasmosprincess]

Mermaid Splash

Chapter 1

Summary: Obey Me! Fairy tale au. A retelling of Hans Christian Andersen's The Little Mermaid.

Pairing: Asmodeus × GN MC

Warnings: Mild blood in other chapters.

***

Author's Note: I really tried to emulate the style and tone of Hans Christian Andersen's original fairytale, or at least the 1888 English translation, I hope that comes across. So if the pacing is weird or it feels a bit stilted, that's somewhat intentional. There are a few direct quotes I pulled from the original text along with some references (mostly metaphors,) and this is not without inspiration from Disney's The Little Mermaid as well, since that's the version I grew up with. I hope you enjoy my little spin on the story.

***

Once upon a time there was a little merman who lived with his brothers in the sea. The seven of them were princes who had sworn allegiance to the Crown Prince of the Sea.

Lucifer, the first and oldest brother, kept his younger brothers in line, a wearying task most days but he loved his brothers very much; he was the closest and most loyal to the Crown Prince. Mammon, the second brother, collected trinkets from shipwrecks and stole pearls from oysters; the pearls he strung as necklaces and other adornments that he wore, occasionally gifting one or two to his brothers. Leviathan, the third brother, was shy with other merpeople, keeping to himself and his little family, but he became fast friends with every other sea creature he met. Satan, the fourth brother, preserved books and scrolls that fell into the sea, he had a little collection of them in a cave and he often went there to read and learn; he shared them with his brothers whenever it pleased them. Beelzebub, the sixth brother and twin of Belphegor, wanted to taste every sea creature in the ocean at least once; he’d already tried a fair amount. Belphegor, the seventh and youngest brother and twin of Beelzebub, wanted nothing more than to sleep his days away under the rolling waves.

Asmodeus, the fifth brother who has not been forgotten, was the most beautiful of them all. He is the little merman of our story.

Asmo’s tail was the same color as his eyes, amber like the setting sun. He wore seven necklaces around his beautiful, long neck. He loved to sit on rocks and comb his hair, admiring his appearance in the reflection of tidepools. But he especially loved to sing. His voice shone above his brothers’, who were all gifted singers themselves.

All of the brothers were fascinated with the humans and the Human World above, but because of laws put in place by the now sleeping King of the sea, they had to be content with what they found in the wreckage of ships and the few moments of life a human had before they were drowned under the waves after hearing the brothers’ songs. This was the tradition in the world of the merpeople. Every stormy night the seven brothers would rise to the surface and hide in the waves, singing to the humans on passing ships, luring them into the inky depths. Asmo’s voice was the crown jewel that completed the brothers’ harmony.

“The Crown Prince has informed me there will be no storm tonight so we will not be going up to the surface.” said Lucifer one day. The Crown Prince could sense the tides and the weather, so he was an accurate source for this information.

Lucifer’s six younger brothers grumbled.

“That’s no fun,” Mammon pouted.

“I’m not happy about it either,” said Lucifer. “But nothing can be done.”

“That leaves me some time for reading.” Satan said.

“And I can take a nap.” said the youngest, Belphie.

Asmo shot a pointed glance at Beel, who had accidentally eaten his comb that morning. “Well I’m going to look for a shell to make a new comb.”

The seven brothers each went their separate ways that evening.

Asmo swam up to look for empty shells on the reef. He reached up towards the sun, until his fingers breached the surface of the water. The sun was so warm and bright despite it being so close to sunset. He wished he could spend more time on the surface during daylight.

With a sigh he dove down to the reef again, scanning the ocean floor for the shells. He gathered a few promising specimens in his arms.

Soon he was near the shore, and with a few more moments of light left, he decided to take a look at his reflection. He swam up to a formation of rocks that sat under a cliff by the reef. He pulled himself up onto a rock and located a tide pool. Humming to himself, Asmo adjusted his hair, enjoying the way it dried in waves in the sea air.

There was a splash nearby. A small sailboat had been dragged into the sea.

Asmo crawled on his arms to hide behind a taller rock so he wouldn't be seen.

You were the only human operating the little boat that looked like it was meant for at least two. You struggled to adjust the sail, precariously leaning over the edge as you pulled and tied the ropes. You turned to fiddle with something on the back of the boat and the sail swung wide, nearly hitting you. You cursed out loud.

Asmo watched you from afar, it appeared you were not adept at handling the boat, but you seemed determined to go somewhere.

With some more fiddling and another near miss, the sail was adjusted to your liking and you embarked on your journey.

Asmo slipped into the water to observe from a closer distance, dipping down below your boat to follow you. It was like swimming underneath a whale, like he'd done many times with Levi. You sailed almost a mile out to sea on your own. When your little boat seemed to pause in the water, Asmo stopped to stare up expectantly. So you weren't planning on traveling a great distance. What were you doing?

He moved out of the way as your anchor dropped from above.

The rocks extended this far out into the water, most of them hidden by the tide. It was foolish to drop anchor here, but you did anyway.

Asmo watched from the safety of those rocks as you neatly rolled up the sail and tied it to the mast to keep it out of the way.

By now, the sun had almost sunk into the sea and the first evening stars were just beginning to appear in the sky.

You finally sat down with a sigh, a small smile growing on your lips.

You rummaged through a leather satchel, looking for something.

Asmo pulled himself up on a rock so he didn't have to fight the swell of the waves to see you.

The sun was now gone, leaving the sky dark except for the stars. But as a creature of the deep, Asmo could see well in the dark.

You pulled out a leatherbound book and a pencil. You looked up and surveyed the sky, your eyes landing on a cluster of stars that had just appeared. You flipped to a blank page and began to sketch.

Asmo watched for a while, swirling his tail in the water, the sound swallowed up by the crashing of waves. You continued to sketch, occasionally flipping the pages and starting again. Eventually Asmo got bored. It seemed like he had been sitting there for hours. Why weren't you doing anything? He contemplated getting closer to look at your sketches but he decided against it. Lucifer would kill him if he was spotted by a human, especially since he was out on his own.

The rhythmic swishes of his tail along with the sway of the tide reminded Asmo of a song. He began to hum a melody.

That gave him an idea. If you wouldn't do anything interesting, he could coax you into doing something.

Asmo began to sing. Quietly at first, and then letting his volume rise as the water swelled.

From this distance his voice would easily carry on the wind. It was meant to sound over storms, so a few little waves could do nothing to hide it. The ethereal beauty had been tempting for all humans, in Asmo's experience, none of them would hesitate to jump into the water to chase his beautiful voice.

But you didn't move, your head was still bent over your sketchbook.

That was odd.

Maybe he wasn't singing loud enough. True, Asmo usually sang with his brothers, and it had been a while since he'd tried to tempt a human on his own. Asmo took a breath and sang louder.

Once it almost seemed like you were swaying in time with Asmo's song, but you continued to sketch. The moon was high in the sky now.

He slipped back into the water to get closer, still singing his song.

You looked up.

Yes.

And you shut your sketchbook, returning it to your leather bag. You began untying the sails. You were returning to shore.

Asmo let out a particularly haunting vocalization.

Nothing.

Asmo watched as you set your sails and hoisted anchor. Your boat made the quick ride to shore, following the lights of an ivory castle on top of the cliff. You had all but disappeared from view as you reached the shoreline.

Asmo didn't follow you this time, he treaded water in the same spot, very confused. He left, the shells he'd gone to collect, forgotten.

***

The next evening Asmo returned to the reef to look for shells. He'd been complaining all day about his mussed hair, none of his brothers’ combs would do the trick for him. Lucifer sent him out to find shells for a new comb just so he would cease his whining.

He was happy he’d arrived to the surface at an earlier hour. He swam on his back, basking in the final minutes of sunlight. The clear sky was just as blue as the sea.

Asmo secretly hoped you would be there. He'd get you to fall for his voice yet.

Just before sunset your boat took to the sea again. You had an easier time controlling it, setting sail in a few minutes. You sailed to the same spot you had the night before. When you dropped anchor, Asmo settled himself on the rocks to watch you. He began singing immediately. Beginning softly as before, and crescendoing with the volume of the waves.

This time you had your back tuned to him. You pointed up at the stars ahead of you with your pencil, tracing a constellation in the air before beginning to sketch.

Asmo sang for an hour and still you had no reaction. It was no use. He stopped singing. But he couldn't take his eyes off of you as you worked so diligently.

He decided to be bold this time, slipping into the water and swimming all the way up to your boat. Your pencil scratched at the paper as you sketched the stars. He noted a compass rose in the corner of the page along with some notes describing the weather and your location.

You were quiet until...

Asmo held his breath.

You had begun humming a melody, and not just any melody, the one he'd been trying to use to seduce you.

He swam to the side of the boat to catch your expression. You smiled lightly as you hummed, still engrossed in your work so you didn't see him.

Asmo found himself smiling too. Oh how he wished he could talk to you. He wanted to find out why his voice didn't work on you, and most importantly he wanted to stare into your eyes and study their color.

You were too focused on your sketching and Asmo was too focused on watching you that neither of you noticed the wind picking up and the clouds gathering behind you.

Soon the boat began tipping wildly. And then came the rain. There wasn’t supposed to be a storm tonight.

You threw your sketchbook and pencil into your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. You needed to get back to shore quickly.

You clung to the mast with one arm as you tried to untie the ropes. Lightning flashed as the boat pitched, nearly upending itself. You held fast and remained onboard.

Asmo tried to swim away from the bobbing sailboat but a wave crashed him into the side. He sank under the water, stunned.

Several minutes later, after fighting the current, Asmo resurfaced. He looked around for you frantically.

Your boat crashed on the reef. You had been flung from the vessel and were beginning to sink under the waves.

Asmo swam for you. He reached your side just as a wave was beginning to take you away. Asmo grabbed you around the waist and slung your arm around his shoulders. He battled with the churning waves to get you back to the shore.

Asmo dragged your body up the sand and laid you on your back. He wasn’t sure what had compelled himself to save you, he just didn't want you to die.

Asmo brushed the hair out of your face, his fingers gliding over your soft skin. You weren't by any means as beautiful as him, in his opinion, but there was something utterly charming about your features. He sang a mournful song as he stroked your hair.

Asmo didn't know how to tell if a human was alive, for all he knew you could already be gone, the human he so loved to watch lost to the sea. He would never get a chance to speak to you or see the color of your eyes. He shed a single tear. He had become infatuated with you and he didn’t want it to end. Asmo leaned down to kiss you on the forehead.

"You have a- a lovely v-voice." You whispered as he ended his song, startling him.

Asmo suppressed a scream, bolting back to the water and swimming away as fast as he could. He hid behind the nearest rock. He peeked out from behind it tentatively.

Back on the shore you had passed out again, the tide licking at your unconscious body, threatening to pull you back out into the water.

A man with a lamp came running down the shore.

"Luke! I found them!" He knelt by your body, pressing an ear to your chest as he listened. “Oh, thank goodness they’re alive.”

Asmo felt his own heart rate returning to a normal pace. You were alright and that was good enough for him, he made his way home.

***

Cross-posted on AO3

[floofiestboy]

Alright, floof. I'm not sorry.

Here's the list.

1, 5, 7 (if you feel like exposing yourself), 10 is an evil question to ask you so I must, 11 because I'm convinced there's neat stuff, 12, 14, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22.

I lied, accidentally. It is twelve questions, I went through the list again and realized I do also want to know your favourite tropes <3

No pressure and all, feel free to pick and choose what you wish to answer :3

Thanks for the ask, Iris 🥺 (ask meme here)

1. What is the first fandom you were ever a part of?

If you define fandom as "first piece of media I got merch of", then I guess Detective Conan since I got DVDs and manga volumes at like, seven or something. If you define fandom as actually participating with other fans, then Percy Jackson- my first fic was written for it.

5. Favorite platonic pairing?

I think Hattori and Shinichi should be platonic life partners. Start up a detective agency or something, you know? Move in together after university? The only problem is finding a compromise between Osaka and Tokyo...

7. Least favorite headcanon?

I refuse to believe Akai returns to America post-BO takedown. I just don't see him as having much attachment to the FBI and the US.

10. Fandom that you've spent the most money on?

Help. This is a hard question. It's in between Detective Conan and Senyuu. I have more DC merch, but it was generally cheaper since it's official... I also have more Senyuu doujinshi and purchased any official Senyuu media out there except for the DVDs. Not to mention purchasing every online Senyuu chapter...

Eh, I'll go with Senyuu, but it's close.

11. Most unique merch you have for a fandom?

In terms of a unique type of merch, these akam gloves:

In terms of overall uniqueness, these one-of-a-kind yuuyona plushies I commissioned from an alibaba merchant:

12. Craziest thing you've ever done as part of a fandom?

I downloaded an app that gave me access to a Chinese payment method so I could send money to an old Chinese scanlator of Suginami on Chinese patreon-like app to see if they still had the high-quality image of an official Suginami illustration that no longer exists on the Internet.

They never responded :c

14. Fandom you keep returning to?

DC...

16. Fandom you'll probably end up joining?

Can't think of anything, honestly. The muses are fickle and strike with little warning.

19. Fanfic you read again and again?

To be honest, I don't re-read fics that often aside from my own to cry over typos I missed. At most I might reread fics after a year or so when my memory of them has gotten blurrier.

Hm, I guess esama's Assassin Creed fics are probably the ones I've reread the most. I reread them whenever I get into an AC mood.

20. All-time favorite fanfic author?

yellow_caballero's D:BH fics were hilarious. Loved their narration so much.

It turned out that Hank was secretly nice, but the sensation of vivid death wishes was novel and rewarding. You could do anything when you secretly hated everything. Connor found vast new avenues of perspective opening before him. Suddenly it was possible to wish death upon anything - the bus when it was running late, the other android in front of him when he accidentally stepped on his toe, any human who shot him a dirty look. The world was his oyster, and the pearl was hatred. It was a slippery slope of deviancy - you start out thinking of witty comebacks to everything Hank said, and before you know it you’re releasing thousands of robots from captivity and helping lead the robot rebellion.

I'm also a big fan of all of Vamillepudding's batfam fics. Comedy gold.

Immediately, Tim perks up. “Yes!” he says, sitting down by the kitchen counter to watch Jason work. “Full disclosure, I already know how to play catch. I wanted my dad to show me, but he didn’t have time, and then they taught us in school, and my teacher thinks I’m really good at it so she wanted me to join Little League, but I didn’t want to so I told her no, and then my mom said I should have joined, but then my dad said I should join the boy scouts instead, and then they got distracted so they hung up and their secretary told me they’d call me again in two weeks.”

Throughout Tim’s monologue, Jason has been slicing vegetables and adding them to a large bowl, and now, while he works on the dressing, he tries to get Tim back on track. “So…you know how to play catch?”

Tim nods. “Yeah, but I like the idea of you teaching me, so let’s recreate that. I’ll pretend like I don’t know anything, and you can correct my posture, and when I finally get it right, you can hug me and tell me you knew I could do it.”

21. Favorite fic trope?

Identity reveals are my guilty pleasure, along with the POV character being unaware of an upcoming identity reveal and the misunderstandings that arise from that...

I also really love soulmates AUs where the soulmate reveal only happens after the ship is already in love. I don't like the idea of them being pressured to be together because of their soulmate marks or something, but I do like the idea of them feeling secure in their existing love thanks to their connection.

22. Least favorite fic trope?

Love at first sight. I'm picky about my ships as it is, I can't get into it if they only "fell" for each other at first from their appearances.

[scenemomssadbeigealt]

Cause I’m no ordinary hoe

I’m from the deep dark underworld

Trish like fish 

The world’s your oyster

And my pussy’s the pearl

I’m an H2Hoe

[cagesings]

tags; verses

*❈ ‣ nothing there sings not even my lark — ( v. canon )  

*❈ ‣ she’s in there with all these screeching gibbering maniacs — ( v. asylum )  

*❈ ‣ we run away and then all our dreams come true? — ( v. post )  

*❈ ‣ isn’t that her shadow on the wall? — ( v. alternate )  

*❈ ‣ are you discussing or fussing; or simply dreaming? — ( v. modern )  

*❈ ‣ i feared you’d never come — ( v. tba )  

*❈ ‣ if we lay a strong enough foundation we’ll pass it on to you — ( v. single mother )  

*❈ ‣ don’t need a ring for my finger just need a steady hand to hold — ( v. main. feat. heygutlcss )  

*❈ ‣ i’m right here beside you and i’ll stay there — ( v. affair. feat. heygutlcss ) 

*❈ ‣ one thing i can tell you is we got to be free — ( v. feat. honorhearted )

*❈ ‣ the world was my oyster but where was the pearl? — ( v. feat. iocaneimmune )  

*❈ ‣ she's been living in her white-bread world as long as anyone with hot blood can — ( v. hawkins )  

*❈ ‣ yesterday love was such an easy game to play; now i need a place to hide away — ( v. feat. soldwrecked )

[distant-velleity]

"My Answer Is..."

Summary: Love and fear are deeply intertwined, aren't they? (Basically, FloYu angst.) Word count: 600+ A/N: So @nahelenia and I are driving each other insane, Shakespeare is driving us insane, and thus this was partly written both out of spite and as a request. I desperately need to go to sleep because I have a test tomorrow. Enjoy <333

-

Floyd arrives too late.

The grass beneath his feet is all black and withered, like seaweed washed up on the beach and left only as a nuisance to others. Akin to blood in the water, a strong stench and a darkly visible presence, blot collects on the ground and in the air in a smog-like form. It’s nothing like the sweet crimson that the injured leave behind for predators to give chase, though; instead, Floyd feels suffocated, as if he was the predator duped by what seemed to be prey. 

Prey?

Maybe, just maybe, you could view the inky Phantom—all gossamer fins spun in midnight black and golden scales glowing with the cruelty of sunlight—as that; dancing in the air around its host as it does, it looks delicate. It’s an ornamental fish, after all.

Pretty, like the sparkle of jewelry within a shipwreck. Fragile, like reefs adored by royalty. Flighty, like a school of fish darting about. And yet guarded, like an oyster protecting its singular pearl.

Pure, with the promise of more beneath the surface.

Something to chase. Something to be adored. 

By all means, something like that should be prey.

But—

“Just as I've interfered with everything before, why don't I undo my mistakes starting from the very first?”

—everything has changed. It’s finally decided to show its true colors.

Illuminated by the glow of frantic magic spells, Yu is—like always—at the heart of it all. Although blot drips like tears down his face, ashen and deathly pale unlike its usual flushed liveliness, he smiles. Freed by anguish, saved by pain. Serene in the midst of his other Phantoms confronting their former hosts.

He looks happy in a way that Floyd has never seen before, stepping on a fallen Phantom’s melting corpse without care as he walks forward. His steps are delicate, held in the air as if he’s levitating on clouds, and yet they hold the weight of the world in their importance.

“You’re just on time,” says Yu, voice overlayed with what feels like audible darkness. And yet, it’s bursting with hollow, meaningless joy. “So? Shall I fix you a ‘happy ending’ without me in it, too?”

“Koi-chan…”

Floyd doesn’t normally feel scared. He can count the number of times he’s experienced fear on one hand: once, for when he had just emerged into the world and none of his senses had solidified. Twice, for when his father first taught him what squeezing felt like. Thrice, for when Azul succumbed to an Overblot as nightmarish as this one.

And this fourth time…

(“Did you know,” Yu said idly, tapping an unfamiliar rhythm on Floyd’s closed textbook, “that the number four represents ‘death’ in my parents’ culture?”

Floyd looked at him, lifting his chin from where he’d been about to go to sleep on his crossed arms—interest piqued. “Why?”

“‘Cause in their first language, the characters are read the same way with the barest of differences.” Using his finger, the TA drew foreign but interesting characters on the hardcover. “‘Si,’ with the fourth tone, meaning ‘four.’ And ‘si,’ with the third tone. If you hear them, well… they’re almost the same, aren’t they?”)

Everything is wrong. So, so, so wrong.

Yu, anxious and walled yet vulnerable and sweet, once his ‘prey’ from another world—as it turns out, has always been the one in control. Ornamental koi may be, free for the killing in their open-air enclosures, but beautiful things have the strongest sway over the heart.

It just took Floyd too long to realize that he’d become prey to ‘this feeling.’

And now, if he doesn’t act, ‘these feelings,’ along with him—will be lost before they can even blossom.

“I’m waiting for your response, Floyd.”

“Some happy ending that is. I don’t need it.” It wouldn’t be happy without you in my life.

Something snaps. The smog thickens, impossible to breathe in. 

Floyd gasps for air, seeing only the chilling glow of Yu’s eyes ahead of him.

“Wrong answer.”

[bakersstreetirregulars]

2023 Cookie of the Year: Kingdom Edition

☁️ Heya! I’m sure you got the note my colleague Kit sent you and pinned at the top of the blog. She’ll be working her way into being part of our main contributor panel over the next couple months just as I and Strawberry Crepe Cookie have, which is how we ended up becoming frequent contributors on this blog. How she got into this is a long story, and one for another time. But moving on to the main topic here, it’s time to vote for 2023’s Cookie of the Year! In case you missed it last year like Vanilla Meringue Cookie (Your ACTUAL Editor, who also goes by Meringue) did, here’s how it works:

Every playable Cookie (minus the collaboration Cookies including Sonic, Tails, and BTS) in CRK will be split into a tournament bracket full of 1v1 matchups

In each matchup, pick the one you like more. There WILL be matchups where your vote will force you to choose favorites OVER your favorites.

Finalists will receive special prizes of all kinds which we don’t know yet!

Everyone might receive different matchups.

All times listed below are in KST (GMT+9)

R1: Update launch - 12/17, 11:59 AM (top 64 of 110 will advance)

R2: 12/17, 1 PM - 12/20, 11:59 AM (top 32 of 64 will advance, this is where the bracket goes to the real 1v1 situations where one goes home in each matchup)

R3: 12/20, 1 PM - 12/23, 11:59 AM (top 16 of 32 will advance)

R4: 12/23, 1 PM - 12/25, 11:59 AM (the top 6 of 16 will advance to the semifinals, more than half of the quarterfinalists will be eliminated)

Semifinals: 12/25, 1 PM - 12/27, 11:59 AM (the top 3 of 6 will advance to the finals)

Finals: 12/27, 1 PM - 12/29, 11:59 AM

Results Announcement: 12/29, 1 PM

☁️ Anyways, let’s move on to the first round with some matchups that appeared on Meringue’s end. There WILL one-sided matches because of high rarity or reputation and splitting-hair rounds because you gotta choose between favorites. It’s possible you could have different matchups though, as more than half the competition is still moving on. Once you make your vote in a round, you can’t take it back. Vote in every matchup in a round for 200 Crystals.

Sorbet Shark vs Peppermint (Good luck choosing between them…)

Kouign-Amann vs Twizzly Gummy

Lilac vs Frilled Jellyfish

Strawberry Crepe vs Cherry Blossom (So pink! And also so loud!)

Oyster vs Financier (Which side of the Crème Republic is YOUR favorite?)

Werewolf vs Blackberry (Since the beginning and somewhat found a place in the meta)

Pastry vs Schwarzwälder (A continuation of a closing story.)

Chili Pepper vs Sea Fairy (The first Cookies of their rarity to be seen in the game)

Almond vs Black Pearl

Frost Queen vs Sherbet (They did this on purpose.)

Herb vs Onion (Since the beginning and left behind…)

Burnt Cheese vs Milky Way (Introductory guides in the latest World Exploration updates)

Affogato vs Muscle (Brains or Brawn?)

Golden Cheese vs Vampire (Back row Arena Destroyers)

Clover vs Prophet

Fettuccine vs Raspberry

Wizard vs Carrot

Custard III vs Tea Knight

Icicle Yeti vs Alchemist

Crimson Coral vs Tiger Lily

Candy Diver vs Cotton (Witnesses to Legends)

Fig vs Kumiho (Forest residents)

Pancake vs Crunchy Chip

Devil vs Stardust

Cherry vs Capsaicin

Pinecone vs Carol (The second holiday round)

Parfait vs Moonlight

Ninja vs Gumball

Strawberry vs Pitaya Dragon

Adventurer vs Dark Cacao

Mala Sauce vs Cream Puff

Moon Rabbit vs Snapdragon

Tarte Tatin vs Poison Mushroom (Boss Destroyers)

Captain Caviar vs Crème Brûlée (the newcomer)

Licorice vs Pure Vanilla

Princess vs Dark Choco (Royal descendants)

Pumpkin Pie vs Latte

Milk vs Avocado

Knight vs Cream Unicorn

Linzer (the other newcomer) vs Red Velvet

Sparkling vs Rye

Angel vs GingerBrave (Consider this a practice round /j)

Beet vs Mango

Royal Margarine vs Shining Glitter

Macaron vs Clotted Cream

Purple Yam vs Caramel Arrow (Fierce fighters…)

Eclair vs Mint Choco (They have the same EN voice actor)

Rockstar vs Squid Ink

Snow Sugar vs Espresso (Since the beginning, new Magic Candies!)

Space Doughnut vs Black Lemonade

Blueberry Pie vs Black Raisin (Intelligent. Reserved. They both know what they’re doing.)

Madeline vs Pomegranate (The vanguards of light and dark.)

Hollyberry vs Wildberry (Did they seriously do this on purpose???)

Olive vs Prune Juice

Mozzarella vs Cocoa

[atwistinthetail]

guess who just got 👉🏻 laid off 👉🏻

anyway the world’s my oyster I’m the pearl