#the worst pairing of all time?

[hannahssimblr]

In the early evening once the dishes have been cleared away, I wait in Michelle’s room. Downstairs, she speaks to Jen and Hazel for a while, their voices soft and solemn, until eventually Hazel goes home, alone. 

“They couldn’t find him?” I ask her when she sweeps into the room, though I already know the answer.

“No,” she rolls her tights down her legs to start changing into the sweatpants she prefers to spend the evenings in while I fidget my hands in my lap. She’s trying very hard not to look at me, her shoulders have that tense line about them that I know so well. With anxiety slowly unfurling inside me I decide I would much rather get this over with than prolong the inevitable horrors.

“I didn’t let him escape on purpose. You realise that, right?”

She can’t hold back the tremble in her voice, “I just can’t believe you left the door open.” 

“It was an accident, I didn’t mean for it to happen.” 

“Accidents don’t just happen, Jude,” She says, her tone rising with each word, “You were supposed to be watching him, Hazel said that he could escape if we weren’t careful.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

My guilt and remorse only irritates her more, “You were just standing there like some kind of fecking eejit with the door wide open, how could you not notice?”

“Because you were picking on me over the wine, I was distracted.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault now?”

“Oh God, please.” 

“What?”

I hold my head in my hands and exhale a frustrated laugh, “Nothing.”

“Do you have something to say?”

“Let’s focus on Goose, okay? I’m going to do everything I can to find him. I’ll search all over Clontarf, I’ll knock on doors, I’ll put up posters...”

She scoffs, “Goose is probably under the wheels of a train by now.”

The violent imagery of that is enough to make me rear back in shock, “How could you say that?” 

“Because that’s probably what happened. Nobody wants to say it to Hazel, but we’re all thinking it. The tracks are right there, and it’s probably the first place he went.”

“I wasn’t thinking it, God, Shell, what a horrible thought to have.”

“Well,” she shrugs, “that’s reality. This is what you’ve done, so, I hope you know.” 

I watch her, speechless as she casually steps into her grey jersey sweatpants, casually picking bits of lint off her thighs. “Why are you being like this?” I manage. 

She pulls off her sweatshirt to switch it for a vest, “like what?”

“It’s like you’re trying to punish me, I already know it was bad, but it was a mistake-”

“Yeah you don’t have to keep saying that. We all know it was a mistake, but it was the kind of mistake that only you would make.” 

“What does that mean?”

“You know what it means.” 

“Why don’t you just say-”

She whirls around and flings her jumper at me, “Because you’re an idiot!” She explodes, “You’re a fucking idiot and this is the kind of shit you do!”

This is the kind of shit she does. She starts screaming out of nowhere, and then inevitably gets louder and louder and shouts over me until the room shakes and I have to shout back to be heard. I usually skip the foreplay these days and escalate it immediately. “Oh,” my voice scrapes my throat, “you think that’s helpful? Just throwing shit?” 

“Please, shut up!” she’s digging through her chest of drawers for something else to wear, and her movements are tense, jerky with anger, “and stop looking at me!” 

“Why? I’m talking to you.”

“Because you don’t get to look at me in my underwear when I’m mad at you.”

“My God, what? You think I haven’t seen it all before? Do you really think I’ve got that on my mind right now?”

“Yeah, because that’s about all you think about isn’t it? That’s all you want me for.” She wiggles into a vest and crosses her arms, “Sex, sex, sex, when am I getting it? Where are we doing it? You’re an animal.” 

“Oh please, you think about it all the time too.”

It’s almost inconceivable to think of now, that first time we ever did it right here in this room, on this bed, and the shadowy shape of her beneath me as she revealed to me how often she’d secretly imagined this, how long she’d wanted me. Sometimes I don’t recognise those people at all. It’s like I’ve stolen from someone else’s memories.

“Yeah, and then sometimes I can’t think of anything worse.”

“And you think I’m gagging for you at this moment? That I lose my fucking mind when I see you standing around in a bra? When you act this way?”

“This way? What is this way?” 

“Fucking annoying. Annoying and irrational.”

She puffs her chest out like a boxer, like she’s rounding on me, and if I wasn’t so furious with her I might laugh, the sheer confidence of my girlfriend, squaring up to a man a full foot taller than her. Sometimes, on smoother days, her moxy is what I love most about her.

“Oh really? That’s what I am?” She says. 

“Uh huh. Yeah. You’re actually the most annoying, irrational person I’ve-” A notebook comes spinning right at me, whipped right from her desk and I duck quickly, head to knees as it wallops against the wall behind me, sending a burst of loose papers flying over the carpet.

“Jesus!” I cry, “What are you doing?” 

“That’s how much you piss me off sometimes!” 

I hold my hands up in surrender before she can reach for something else, crashing back into myself as my anger dissipates, overtaken once again by the rational part of my brain, “Look, let’s stop this, okay? I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to hurt you, I’m sorry.”

“We are in a relationship,” she explains, as if spelling it out to an infant, “that’s what happens. We hurt each other. It’s impossible not to.”

“Can’t we avoid doing it on purpose?”

“I’ll stop it when you stop being such an arsehole.”

“God, Michelle,” I grit out, “why do you make everything so hard?”

“Hard?” She repeats witheringly, “Being with me? Well imagine what it’s like being with you. The most self-involved, shallow, selfish person I have ever met.”

“Selfish?” I echo as my spine stiffens, “Selfish?”

“Uh huh! Yeah!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I feel like I have had a glass of ice water tossed at me, and though I have stopped shouting, Michelle keeps it up.

“I know well enough! It’s all about you all the time, you go on and on about how hard your life is, how sad you are. Meanwhile your dad bought you a fucking car for your birthday and you weren’t even grateful for it. Look at you! Strutting around with your little Ralph Lauren T-shirts and your ten thousand euro teeth! Who do you think you are?”

For some reason, her dragging my composite bonding into this feels like the biggest betrayal of all. A low blow. My teeth were weirdly short for my mouth until dad fixed them. It felt like the easiest, most obvious solution for a cosmetic issue without doing drastic work, yet revealing it to Michelle late one night as we murmured our secrets to one another in the dark felt so incredibly intimate that I’m momentarily lost for words at her treachery. 

“My teeth have literally nothing to do with any of this.”

“They prove that you’re spoiled.”

“It’s so obvious that you’re jealous of me.” I say. I’m not usually the kind of person to choose their words solely for the damage they can inflict, but something horrible within me feels a twinge of satisfaction when I see the stricken look on her face. 

“Jealous?” She splutters, faltering, “What the hell is there to be jealous of?”

I just look at her, because it’s all I need to do. I know, and she knows, and I feel disgustingly satisfied and contemptuous in my knowledge of it. I already know how she can’t bear to hear about my achievements, to see me hanging out with other friends. It is agony for her to hear about my grades or to look at my artwork, knowing I’ve worked harder than she has. She won’t come to parties with me anymore, because people laugh at all my jokes, and them crowding around to talk to me is hard on her self-esteem. Even cats like me better. I sense it in her every molecule, the atoms around her vibrate with envy. 

Fresh rage shimmers in her eyes as she stares at me, fists clenched as though she’s wrestling the urge to wrap her hands around my windpipe and squeeze. “You can get out if you’re going to be like this,” she seethes. 

“Oh, I’d love to leave.”

“Then do!” she stalks towards the door and yanks it open with such ferocity that I fear it will escape its hinges. “Get out!” Her voice echoes through the whole house, bouncing off the ceiling, reaching a frequency I am surprised doesn't rattle the glass free from the windows, and I have brief concerns about what everyone else in the house must think before remembering they’ve heard it all before. In fact they’ve lived this for years. 

So I do, I get up and walk out, turning toward her at the last moment, facing her stinging hot face to say, “you know what? I think it’s a good idea if we talk about taking a-”

“No! Fuck you!” she spits, and slams the door in my face. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[nadia-cannot-think-straight]

"What happened?😠"

"He attacked me😢"

"No Dan-DAAA-🫨"

[lafragolina]

just kill me

[lyss-sketchbox]

Oh god furina better not rerun with sigewinne or clorinde thats gonna be so evil.........

[benevolenterrancy]

relistened to Last Beacon, aka Ianto And Owen's No Good Very Bad Hiking Trip

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i think the diamond dogs should play improv games just bc it would amuse me, an ex theater kid, specifically

[crimescrimson]

Ada Wong & Leon S. Kennedy: The History [ Resident Evil 2 (2019) ]

[ricopop]

Would you let him into your house yes or no. anyways i thouvht itd be cute if he was a mailman. okaayyy bye

@superbellsubways

[inheroes--wetrust]

hardest lines in the locked tomb go

[superkitten-poison]

cquackity believes he's incapable of being loved and cwilbur believes he's incapable of loving. cquackity has been hurt by everyone who claimed to love him and now struggles to believe that anyone could ever mean it, that anyone could love him at all, and he refuses to let himself love anyone because of it. cwilbur believes that his love is corrosive, that when he loves someone he's dooming them to be hurt by him (because he's an intrinsically bad person who can cause nothing but pain) and he refuses to let other ppl love him because of it. they've both closed themselves off from other people for opposite reasons, and that leaves them with only each other (because they never have to call any of it love). yin and yang.

[vaniloqu3nce]

Yoko Headcanons Pt 2

Yoko’s parents are an extremely wealthy and notorious vampire coven from Japan. They put plenty of expectations on Yoko throughout her childhood to be perfect and uphold their family’s image.

Yoko knew she was gay from a very young age but knew her parents would never approve. She played the perfect daughter but really she was sneaking girls home, partying, generally prioritizing her own happiness once she was old enough to understand what makes her happy.

Yoko’s parents had no idea what she was up to until she was caught. She was sent to Nevermore to reform.

She did NOT reform.

Yoko flirts shamelessly, with anyone. Even Wednesday occasionally (though playfully) up until she realizes Enid has a crush, then she tries to befriend Wednesday in order to make sure she’s good for Enid.

Wednesday and Yoko actually become decent friends and bond over their in depth knowledge of old horror media.

Yoko LOVES Wednesday’s books she’s basically the number one fan after page one.

Yoko: Is your girlfriend done with chapter twenty nine yet Enid i cannot wait this long

Enid: Yoko its three am STOP TEXTING ME

Yoko and Wednesday are an awesome sarcastic duo.

Thing Enid Yoko and Wednesday have horror movie nights in which the gfs cuddle and our favorite man and Yoko criticize outfits, set design, camera angles, how realistic the blood is, and so on.

Enid is terrified so she’s mostly hiding in Wednesday’s chest while scrolling through her phone and Wednesday holds Enid the whole time and Wednesday will occasionally comment on Thing and Yoko’s conversation if she has something to add.

Wednesday: It’s not that easy to hold a severed head. They’re quite heavy.

Yoko has a lot of trouble focusing and finding interest in school, so Enid helps with homework and classwork because Yoko’s parents will kill her if her grades don’t remain perfect.

Yoko is very confident and charming when it comes to flirting with someone she has no interest in romantically pursuing. Which is basically ever girl ever.

Yoko gets very nervous and flustered when she actually likes someone. She can trip over her words (very unlike her) or just completely brain fart.

Divina: Yoko, are you listening

Yoko, who was just staring and thinking about how pretty Divina is: wha?-I mean yes absolutely.

I raise you demiromantic Yoko.

I raise you Yoko who has a hard time expressing herself emotionally because her parents didn’t allow it.

I raise you Yoko being absolutely smitten with Divina out of all people and hates herself for it because love scares her.

I raise you Divina not wanting anything with Yoko to be public because Yoko gets around and she’s not ashamed of it, and Divina is worried about her image/what people would think/her parents finding out.

I raise you Yoko for the first time in a long time realizing she wants someone forever and that terrifies her so she never makes anything official.

I raise you them both learning how to work through their fears and vulnerabilities together. Yoko teachers Divina how to prioritize her happiness instead of doing whatever her parents want and being unhappy. Divina teachers Yoko how to open up, helps her stay organized and on track in school, teaches Yoko how to keep herself organized with little neat schedules and notes.

Yoko’s love language is very physical.

I raise you Enid being the best friend possible and supporting her best friend despite Yoko hiding her relationship with Divina for some time.

I raise you Wednesday telling Yoko to get her shit together when she’s flirting with other girls because shes scared of committing to Divina.

Finally I raise you Yoko and Enid being the worst possible pair of lesbian best friends ever.

Yoko: Divina can step on my throat and id thank her

Enid: Wednesday is so pretty id let her run me over twice

[atonalginger]

sometimes I look at what I do and I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.

sometimes I look at what I do and I feel like a sham. a fraud peddling junk.

[notmoreflippingelves]

So apparently, there is a second Sofia the First spinoff in the works right now. And so while this is still admittedly hardly the ideal time for me to get unnaturally and unhealthy invested in the Ever Realm Cinematic Universe (and especially in Elena of Avalor) , it's also not hypothetically the worst time for me to get invested in it either.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

one thing you must understand about me extremely fast is that the only pairings that make any sense to me are those where it's the worst idea you've ever heard and both participants are getting out of there in tatters

[yeonban]

If your muse ever thinks their friends suck, at least they're not in Elijah's place

[nostalgia-tblr]

i wish we didnt call it thoshei i get that it's about the best we can do for a smushed-up pairing name but - hear me out - a combined pairing name that uses neither character's actual name just... isn't? especially when the names they do use for themselves and each other are such a Thematic Thing? so it's like. the worst possible pairing name we could be using for this pairing?