#the worst thing is that no AI is even involved it's just their old ass marketing director who probably got his job via nepotism

[six-of-ravens]

another problem with this client is that they're so obsessed with marketing language and seo keywords that they forget that their content still has to be readable by actual humans. like, they updated their contact page with their 17 fkn phone numbers, but the titles for each department are so abstracted that if I was a client I would have no idea which one to call

[justinalovee]

Now we live

Previous chapter

Chapter: 0.07

Nova stood watching as Kane tried to blend his people with her own. It was a disaster waiting to happen. She was surprised her commander had agreed to it.

“Monin.” Kane said cheerily. “I thought we'd start with a reception then move on to training. We have a lot to learn from each other. Weapons there, please. Only Ark guards are here.” Indra along with other grounders threw their weapons into a box. “Thank you for agreeing to this, Indra.”

Indra looked him up and down, before replying with a snarky comment. “We're here on the commander's orders. I agreed to nothing.”

The council meeting room quickly became full of grounders. Kane looked uncomfortable as he spoke to Jaha in a low voice. Nova tried not to smirk as she heard Octavia telling a guard to stick his tongue up his ass. She sighed listening to Kane deliver a speech about their common enemy, the mountain men.

Nova’s eyes landed on Murphy as one of the other grounders started to square up to him. She bit down on her bottom lip as she decided what to do. With eyes on them Murphy had suggested they kept a low profile with the aftermath of Finn’s death still being raw, and a part of that was not jumping in to defend each other unless it was necessary. Nova did as Lexa said and stayed away from the ceremony, but now Nova wasn’t sure if she could go back as whispers about her involvement had started to spread. Thankfully it hadn’t reached the ears of the sky clan yet.

Murphy glared at the person in front of him, “you got a problem?”

“Yu stood der watching while Ai village was massacred.” ‘You stood there watching while my village was massacred.’

Nova couldn’t hold her tongue. “Penn hod op. Yu get in em wasn’t em.” ‘Penn stop. You know it wasn’t him.’

Murphy shrugged, “sorry man. I don’t speak grounder.

Penn stepped even closer to Murphy, causing him to push the grounder back. Kane stormed over to them. “Mr. Murphy, apologize to that man.”

“For what?” Murphy asked. “He started it!”

Kane shook his head. “Two days' work detail.”

“Work detail? I just told you I didn't do it-” Murphy challenged him.

“Care to make it three?”

Penn glared at Murphy, “you can burn just like your friend.” Murphy clenched his fist but ignored the comment. He was trying his best not to take the bait.

Penn smirked, “Hei nova? ha does Ai feel bilaik a skaikru slut nau? everybody get in Yu turned bilaik bakon ona bilaik gada in kru gon Disha. cockroach. Ai wonder chit bilaik sister would fig raun taim she could-”

Penn was cut off by Murphy punching him in the face. As a riot broke out between sky people and grounders, Murphy ignored Kane who was yelling at him, and grabbed Nova’s hand and dragged her out of the room with him.

______

Murphy closed the door behind him and spun to face Nova. Who looked bewildered by what just happened. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, “I’m fine.” Her fingers trailed over the bruise appearing on his knuckles. “I can’t believe you punched Penn in the face.”

“He had it coming,” Murphy’s eyes were glued on Nova’s fingers. He wasn’t used to somebody worrying about him, she gently pressed a kiss to the back of his hand before rubbing her thumb over his swollen skin. “What did he do to you anyway?”

‘Hey Nova? How does It feel to be a Skaikru slut now? Everybody knows you turned your back on your own people for this...cockroach. I wonder what your sister would think if she could-‘

Nova shrugged, pretending the comment didn’t hurt her. “Nothing important, just that I’m a slut, a traitor, and he was starting to talk about my sister when you punched him.”

Murphy gritted his teeth. He would have done more than punch Penn in the face if he had known what he was saying. “How do you say I’m sorry in grounder?”

Nova chuckled. “I’m fiya, why? Are you thinking of apologising for causing a riot?”

Smiling Murphy shook his head. “Hell no. I just wanted to say...I’m fiya Nova.” He brushed a loose strand of hair behind ear, “you could have gotten hurt in there.”

She closed her eyes. “I’ve been through much worse, and so have you.”

Murphy gulped down, his eyes had trailed from her fingers to her pink lips. His feelings towards the grounder confused him. From the moment he let her escape the drop-ship something changed. He had never put his neck on the line for anyone before, let alone a stranger. The grounder girl who helped him live quickly became his only friend. But now? Murphy wasn’t sure if friendship was the only thing he wanted.

Nova opened her eyes to see Murphy gazing down at her. The look made her stomach tighten, her lips parted slightly as he leaned towards her.

The door to the room swung open, as Clay, a young grounder stood sheepishly rubbing his neck. “Kane en indra are lufa au Yu both. Ai heard chit happened fou, Skai boy punched penn gon defend Yu?” ‘Kane and Indra are looking for you both. I heard what happened before, Sky boy punched penn to defend you? Causing a massive fight to break out? ’

A wide smile spread across Nova’s face as she nodded, “he don dula.”

Murphy frowned as the grounder raised his eyebrows and left, “what was that about it?”

“He was asking if it was true if you punched Penn, and caused riot.” She laughed, “Kane and Indra are looking for us.”

Great, just great.

______

“Good, Fio. Who's next?”

“I am.” Octavia stepped forward, “We're supposed to train together right?”

A few grounders tutted as the sky girl argued with Indra that she should train with them. Kane stood beside Nova who was leaning against the wall. “Aren’t you going to train?”

She shook her head, “I’ve never been much of a fighter.”

“What is your skill?” He asked curiously. Kane wasn’t dumb, every grounder he had came across had a specialsed skill.

“Archer...” memories of the promise she made to Treyton came flooding back. “Let gyon au kom foutaim.” Kane raised his eyebrow at the grounders mumble. Nova cleared her throat, “We should all try our best to let go of the past. I can teach your people how to use a bow and arrow if they are interested. And Indra says it’s okay.”

He smiled, “thank you.”

______

“I take it you don't approve.” Murphy did his best to Ignore Jaha. “I asked you a question.”

Murphy stopped mopping and turned to face Jaha. “Who cares what I think.”

“I do. That’s why I asked.” Jaha looked back at his people and grounders training together. “So what do you think?”

“I think the grounders can go to hell.” The moments the words passed his lips he regretted saying them. Murphy didn’t hate all grounders, he was pissed at them getting special treatment. “Most of them anyway.”

The chancellor waited until the hallway was clear before following John further into the camp. “I got you off work detail.” He watched as the teenager screwed his face up. “You knew my son and I'd like you to take me to his grave. Now that there's a truce, it's safe for me to go see the body.”

“Then get somebody else to take you,” Murphy spat.

“I'm told the graves are unmarked. You can show me which is his.” Jaha offered Murphy a gun, which he accepted. “You can hold a mop, you can hold and gun.”

______

Murphy scoffed as he watched Jaha kneeling at Wells grave. He had no sympathy for the man who killed his father. “Are we about done? We got to be heading back.”

Jaha didn’t take his off Well’s grave, “How well did you know him?”

“Well enough to be hung for his murder.” Murphy paused, “Clarke sugarcoated it for you didn't she?”

“What happened to my son?

Murphy sighed, he didn’t want to relive one of the worst days of his life. “Twelve-year-old girl stabbed him in the neck with a knife she took from me”

Jaha shot his head up. “Why would she do that?”

“She couldn't kill you,” he shrugged. “Yeah, so you got a lot of blood on your hands, Chancellor. Every single one of them including your son would still be alive if you hadn't sent us down here.”

Jaha stood up and clasped his hands behind his back. “ If I didn't send you, they would've died on the Ark with the rest of us and we would've never known that Earth was survivable. Their sacrifice is why we are here. Good can come out of even the darkest acts, John.”

Murph groaned as Jaha started to walk the wrong way, “Camp you is that way.”

“We'll rest at the dropship for a while.”

“Suit yourself.”

______

Murphy shook his head as Jaha continued to offer him food. “You sure? You must be hungry?”

“No one gives anything without expecting anything in return.”

Jaha looked at him with a blank expression on his face. “That's a cynical way to go through life, John.”

“You pull me off work detail, you offer me food. Why are you being so nice to me.”

The chancellor cleared his throat, as if was getting ready to deliver a speech. “Everyone deserves a second chance. That's why we sent the hundred to the Earth in the first place.”

“What a load of crap. You didn't give a damn about us. You still don't, that's why you're not fighting for those kids in Mount Weather.”

Jaha gave him a disapproving look. “I have to think of everyone. I know you don't want to hear this but sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save the many. Like I said, good can come out of even the darkest acts.”

Murphy shook his head. The only person who treated him like a human was Nova, she showed him kindness when nobody else did. “Then you can take it from me, I was pardoned, slate wiped clean I'm still treated like dirt.”

“You made mistakes, so have I.”

Murphy glared at him, “I'm nothing like you, Chancellor.”

“No, we both should have died several times over. We both suffered at the hands of the grounders. We both have been betrayed and imprisoned by our own people.”

“So there's no place for us,” Murphy said sarcastically. “Great thought you were supposed to be inspiring.”

“There is a place for all of us. When I first landed on Earth I met a woman who spoke of a place beyond the dead zone, a place where everyone is accepted, a city of light.”

“Sounds like a fairytale.” Murphy continued to listen to Jaha’s rambles about a better life, while trying not to think about what could be happening back at camp.

______

Murphy awoke in the drop-ship to the sounds of others talking. What the fuck? He jumped to his feet, “Hey what the hell is this?”

Jaha stepped to the side to reveal a small group of people standing outside. “We're going to the City of Light.”

“You're going now? There's a million ways to die out there.”

“If it's not your time, nothing can kill you. If it is your time it only takes one.” Murphy opened his mouth to reply when Nova came into view. What the hell was she doing here? Jaha smiled at the young man’s expression. “I thought you might want some company Mr. Murphy.”

Nova quickly hugged her friend before turning to face the strange man who had asked her to join them. “Do you even have a map?”

“Nope.”

Murphy wrapped his arm around Nova’s shoulder. “Then how do you know where you're going?”

“I don't, but I won't be moved by fear. You want to stop being treated like a criminal. You gotta stop thinking that's what you are. Take this leap of faith with me, John Murphy and let me show you there is so much more for you than this.”

Jaha started to lead his ‘people’ away. Murphy and Nova watched as the group started to fo further into the forest. “Why did you come?”

“Jaha...your leader said he knows what I’ve done...he apparently knows how to make the pain stop.” She blinked away tears, “I feel so guilty. Every time I see your people...I see his face everywhere I look.”

“So you want to go?”

Nova bit down on her bottom lip. “I-I don’t know. I’m not going anywhere without you, if you stay I stay.”

For the first time in hours a smile pulled at the corners of Murphy’s mouth. He weighed up their options, they could return to camp Jaha and risk others finding out what Nova had done, or take a chance. “What the hell,” he shrugged. “My people hate me, and Lexa has practically banished you. Let’s see what this place has to offer.”

Nova leaned up and kissed him on the check. Murphy locked his own fingers with hers, as they started to catch up with the group searching for the city of lights.

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.18

Impostor

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)  x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (past?)    Word count: 3690

Summary: Natasha is showing a bit of tough love, ‘Nat’ is on a shaky ground and Tony is being mature. Seriously, I mean it, this isn’t a joke, Tony actually can be an adult. See for yourself.

Warnings: mentions of amnesia and death, swearing, light angst and--

Story masterlist

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Despite Steve’s initial protests, you started cleaning up while he was still trying to sooth his supersoldier appetite.

You weren’t finished yet when irritated Natasha Romanoff paced into the room.

“Come on, Rogers. I get the situation you found yourself in, I really do, but try to be smart next time,” she hissed and seemed ready to yank him to his feet by his ear.

If she hadn’t look so intimidating, you might even laugh. Steve had the decency to look guilty and you quickly realized this was about him denying the director his wishes.

‘Smart’ though? Meaning?

“Sorry, Romanoff.”

“Don’t you ‘sorry’ me and think for a second! I have two SHIELD agents downstairs, keeping them from coming up here only by telling them I’ll bring you down there in my teeth if I have to!”

Your blood turned to ice. That was much more serious than Steve had led on. What the hell?!

Steve shot the fellow agent an angry look, his teeth clenched, clearly about to snap back at her – he never got a chance.

“You’re coming with me. Do you really want them to sniff around here? I have nothing to worry about, but you might want to sort things out before Fury finds out what’s going on and tries to stick his nose into it,” Natasha stated flatly and the glare she sent his way spoke volumes. Also, the flicker of her gaze towards you during her speech was everything but inconspicuous.

You gulped in fright and resisted the urge to take a step back despite the murderous glare being aimed at Steve.

“Stop scaring the shit out of people!” Steve hissed, rising to his feet and protectively standing in front of you.

Natasha sighed and eased her terrifying manners; the switch to a friendly demeanour was almost too sharp to wrap your head around.

“Sorry. You know I’m not afraid of him. I know you aren’t either. But think, Steve. Do you want Fury to find out right now and have him on your ass – hers, more importantly, because she’s the one who rose from the death –  or do you want… more time with this very charming lady, who happens to be your soulmate?” she bargained and threw a wink at you over Steve’s shoulder. What was this, a fucking wink day? And how was she switching between her moods so quickly?

“I know which I would prefer,” she added softly and smiled at you.

Her gentleness surprised you just like when she had led you to Steve’s room only several hours ago – really, only hours had it been? – and more so, her authenticity. This was a side she was willing to show her friends – for some reason, to you as well – and the strict uncompromising agent was her everyday mask.

Steve let out an indistinct sound that told you he admitted to himself she was right and that he resigned, though very much unwillingly.

You forced yourself to gather some courage and plastered a smile on your face as he turned to face you.

“If this is just about me, don’t worry about it. Go.”

Thee lamely covered hurt at you sending him away tugged at your heart, but if you were being honest, you maybe needed time to think and Steve being away could help.

“I’ll still be here. I promise,” you assured him and just like yesterday, he seemed calmer after that. Yet, there was still something that had him frowning as if he was being torn in half, having an itch he wanted to scratch, but was afraid of revealing to you where it was.

You exchanged a look with Natasha and took a calculated guess when you saw her eyes turning compassionate. You finally understood why you had found him in the chair by your bed this morning – it was closer to you. Definitely close enough to cover you in case any kind of shit went down.

“And I’ll be fine here. There’s no safer place in New York, right?”

The thumbs-up from the Natasha was subtle, but you still noticed it. Jackpot. If it wasn’t so sad that Steve was terrified for your safety, you might even cheer. In this case, not so much.

Steve’s eyes found yours, boring into them as if looking for the last remnants of anything that would keep him in the Tower. He must have found none, because he nodded softly. Your smile grew more honest.

“Okay. Alright. If you don’t mind. I promise I’ll try to be quick,” he declared at which Natasha cleared her throat.

“Because you can totally tell the World Security Council to suck it up…”

…what? Did Steve nearly refuse such an important meeting (it sounded pretty important, okay) for you? Thank God for Natasha Romanoff. You weren’t sure your conscience could live with that…

“You did,” Steve threw over his shoulder swiftly and that caused both yours and hers lips to twitch. Yeah, she seemed like the type. “Jarvis, does she still have the authorisation to walk the Tower without limitations?”

“She does now again, Steve,” the AI announced and you only then realized he was talking about you. Oh.

“Thank you, Jarvis.”

“You didn’t have to do that. I would have just-“ you blurted out and was cut off by his eyebrow arching.

“-sit in the same room all day?”

Point taken. “…yes. If necessary.”

“Well, it’s not,” he exclaimed and pressed the lightest of kisses to your temple. “Let’s get going so we can be back.”

With that, the agent and the captain took off, while you were left there standing, dumbfounded. Your face was burning hot, the warmth focused into one particular place where Steve’s lips brushed your skin.

As you automatically reached for Steve’s plate to clean it as well, you wondered if he did it on purpose or if it was something he did automatically.

Either way, the recovery from the shock and the pleasant feeling the gesture left in your chest kept you busy for the next half an hour.

And suddenly you knew it wasn’t thinking what you needed to do, no. You had to talk to someone. And you knew exactly who.

“Uhm… Jarvis? Can I ask you something?”

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When the AI opened the door for you, you came to face Mr. Stark’s backside. Admittedly, it wasn’t the worst view you could be offered, though Steve’s would have been more impressive; yes, you had noticed, that man was impossible not to ogle. More importantly than the view being acceptable, you’d rather spoke to the man eye to eye. Which was rather difficult seeing as he was partially buried in… a robotic suit with shiny colours of red and gold?

A superhero suit, you realized. Right. Because you were momentarily accommodated with superheroes.

“Uhm, Mr. Stark?” you addressed him warily, not wanting him to-

A clank sounded as his head snapped up, its back colliding with a platter of metal above it with deadly precision. Your hand shot up to your mouth to cover it before you could embarrass yourself by the squeal coming out of it.

“Goddammit!” he cursed loudly, making you wince in compassion as he rubbed the injured spot on his head, turning around. ”Who-  oh. Oh. Hey, kid.”

“Why is everyone calling me that?” you complained, remembering Dean’s set of nicknames involving exactly this. Then you grimaced as he abruptly let his hand fall to show you he was in fact not hurting. He even grinned, an expression of emotion you believed only with hesitance. “Also, sorry.”

“I’ll live,” he waved it of before answering your rhetorical question. ”It’s ‘cause we’re old and respectable. Does Cap call you that too? ‘Cause that might be a bit weird.”

“Uhm… no…?”

“Oh, good, I was getting worried,” he hummed light-heartedly and then went to a container on his right, pulling out an icepack to place over his wound after all. He gestured towards a swivel chair politely. You shook your head. “What’s on your mind?”

“The… uhm, the Jarvis told me I wouldn’t be interrupting…” you pointed vaguely at the ceiling, suddenly realizing this was a bad idea. Probably. Not to mention Mr. Stark was apparently in a middle of something, so… “Clearly, I am. Sorry, I’ll just-“

“Nope! Stay right here! And it’s Jarvis without the… ‘the’. You didn’t answer the question.”

He took the seat since you seemed uninterested in it and tilted his head with one corner of his lips raised.

“I… I wanted to thank you for your hospitality. And… I’d like to ask you something, but it might be a bit strange?”

He removed the icepack with a chuckle, tossing it carelessly to the middle of his workspace. “Kid, for all we know, you were brought back from death by an angel who spilled your memories on your way from Heaven. There’s no such thing as ‘strange’ these days. Kinky might weird me out – maybe –, but strange? Nah.”

Kinky? Really? You were so not about to talk sex with this man. His jokes were slowly putting you at ease a little though, despite what you had come here to ask.

“Right. I… uhm… I just wanted to ask… uh, what am I like? Or… she was, I mean.”

The man frowned at you, sitting upright instead of basically lying in the chair.

“You still are. Her, I mean,” he mimicked you. “Why would you ask me that? Why not Cap? Or is he only bragging about himself?”

“No! No. Steve’s… very helpful.”

“Oh. Good for him. ‘Cause being narcissistic is my jam, not his, he’s more like ‘I’m just a kid from Brooklyn’ kind of guy,” he impersonated Steve with his chin stuck out, while his voice fell an octave. The corners of your lips twitched. “Then again, he’s a hundred-year-old man and me, on the other hand, I’m slightly younger, a genius, a billionaire and overall perfect.”

That drew a chuckle from you – you simply couldn’t hold it back anymore. This man was a clown. But he was also speaking very bluntly, which was why you had chosen him to be your source of information. You liked his demeanour; he reminded you of Dean. You had a feeling that you might have been the teasing kind of friend with him. She had been. Whatever.

“I bet,” you humoured him and he squinted at you playfully.

“Correct answer. You want an opinion of someone who isn’t smitten by you,” he stated confidently and you felt the blush instantly colouring your cheeks as his choice of words.

“Smitten is not… uhm-“

“Kid, he is definitely smitten. He was and still is, or is again, whatever floats your boat,” he smirked and leaned his elbows onto his thighs. “Not that I can blame him. You’re easy on the eyes, ridiculously good to him and for him, because you are the same breed of a creepy romantic, you can keep up with my and Clint’s verbal combat, because clearly you were born with the sass gene, and believe it or not, you showed quite early on that you had guts and quite steely nerves, which is something Steve’s girl desperately needs.”

You blinked in surprise at such long speech. You had no idea what to say to that shower of compliments, having a bit of a problem to believe it was you he just described. So you focused on the safest topic.

“Steve?”

“What about him?” Mr. Stark asked, confused.

“This is the first time you called him ‘Steve’, not ‘Cap’,” you elaborated, only to earn an almost tired sigh.

“Well, obviously. Cap has a stick up his ass and jumps out of planes to save the day. It’s mostly Steve who’s a little shit and doesn’t use parachute for the said jump.” I beg your pardon? Steve is doing what? “And he’s always Steve first to you, Steve with the job of being Cap.”

That quickly distracted you from the stunts Steve was apparently pulling on missions of saving the world. You could imagine that – seeing Steve as a regular person, no matter how unique he was. You had a hunch he appreciated that too.

“Oh, I didn’t mention that before? That you were the first civilian he bothered to drop the bullshit superhero persona with? Demolished the walls keeping his little precious heart, that’s actually too big for his own good, safe and never rebuilt them? My bad, so I’m telling you now. And he’s willing to bend the rules for you. I never saw him leave a meeting early until you showed up.”

He gestured wildly with his hands as he drew metaphorical walls in the air and made them crumble down and then his fingers curled with his thumbs straightened, connected to create a heart from his hands.

Your own heart swelled in your chest a little. Could it really be true? Could Steve have been honest with you? And… could you be that person for him?

You had no idea what to say. Or do, for that matter and the man huffed exasperatedly.

“Look… I���m not great at this, okay? That’s why I built robots, not humans.”

“Jarvis seems human enough,” you quipped, taking care to leave out the ‘the’ this time.

“Thank you, miss,” the AI quickly chimed in.

Of course, he was listening now too. You hoped he wasn’t recording or something, because this was a very private conversation you wouldn’t want anyone to see and hear. Especially not Steve.

“That’s because he has a human template. He was a servant at my house when I was a kid. Great guy. deserved to be immortalized.”

That little piece of private information in exchange of opening yourself to him about your insecurities and worries was highly appreciated. Your next confession was the only thing that kept you from smiling at Mr. Stark gratefully.

“I… I think I’m hurting him by being here,” you whispered the darkest secret and Stark’s eyebrows got nearly lost in his hairline with how swiftly they jumped.

“You? Hurting Steve?” he repeated incredulously and you worried your teeth over your lower lip, curling into yourself, averting his intense glare bashfully.

“Hurting him and his reputation on top of that. And his job…. I don’t remember him. I can’t and I hate it, because I met him only yesterday and it would be ridiculously easy to fall in love with him, but how can I? How can I be that person to him, when he’s in love with someone I don’t know anymore?”

“First – if this is about his job, about Fury mostly, screw that. Focus on what’s important here. Him,” he emphasized, rising from his seat to stand face to face with you – which he did, because he wasn’t as tall as Steve.

You opened your mouth to oppose him that Steve’s job was sure as hell important – to Steve and to the world – but you never got the chance as Stark raised his index finger warningly.

“Uh-uh. I talk, you listen. You’re asking me how? Duh. Meet him again. Know yourself again. I told you – so far, you seem to be the same. But even if you’re not…” he mused, shaking his head with his jaw clenched. “Cap- Steve’s been at the bottom, okay? If you think you’re hurting him by being here in any form different than a literal ghost haunting his ass-- he’s… you’re not hurting him is all I’m saying, okay? So what, you might order different toppings on your pizza or like a different shampoo, show up here wearing a lumberjack shirt, whatever. But this…” He tapped approximately on your soulmarks, oblivious to how much his words had affected you so far. Which was a lot. “…means something. It means everything. To you, to him, to you together.”

“You… you didn’t seem to believe that too much yesterday. Now you do? So what, we’re okay and we’re going to be, because fate said so?”

Your question might have sounded sceptical, but on the inside, that was another matter entirely. What Stark had told you was already worming its way through your brain, very effectively.

Could this, whatever this was, be better than you not being here at all? You had thought so, but Steve’s interaction with the director, the carefully guarded pain being his kind eyes… it made you doubt. You hadn’t meant for it to sound like you wanted to flee, because you didn’t, but… your overloaded mind was getting the best of you.

And Tony Stark was apparently having none of it, because he made a face and shrugged.

“I don’t know who said so. It could be fate, it could be God, it could be the fairies for all I care. The thing is, you believe in that, don’t you? That the soulmark means something and that there was a reason for you to meet him again, exactly like that.”

You had no counterargument since he hit the nail on the head, so you remained silent. He charmed a lop-sided smile singing of victory.

“That’s what I thought,” he exclaimed, satisfied with himself. Then, his face softened a bit. “And that’s fine. You thought that before, which is my point. You’re still you. You might not have concrete memories, but I think everything about you does. It feels like it sometimes, doesn’t it? Weird things, things you shouldn’t feel, things you shouldn’t know, but you do.”

Your heart positively stopped as you recalled the familiarity of Steve’s face, the comfort of his embrace, the warmth in your chest that shouldn’t be there, not so shortly after meeting him.  

“How… how do you know that?” you whispered, voice barely audible but still very much shaky.

“I didn’t. I took a wild guess. Looks like it was a good one.”

You huffed a short laugh, unable to comprehend how this man even existed, brisk and arrogant at first sight, but very much intelligent, funny and wise.

“Yeah. Looks like it…” you mused with an absent smile remaining. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

His arms went around you a bit awkwardly and for a very short moment, but they did, a pat on your left shoulder following. He withdrew quickly then, his hands stuck into the pockets of his jeans.

“Let’s never speak of this conversation again, alright, kid?” You nodded obediently, glad he wanted to keep this under wraps. “And stop calling me Mr. Stark. It’s Tony. Leave that mister shit for bedroom games or whatever.”

You shook your head incredulously as you recognized the moment you should distance yourself and leave him work. “Whatever you say, Tony. I owe you one.”

“Ha! You wish. It’s like a thousand. No, three thousand!”

“You’re rich enough not to dwell on such petty debt,” you called back at him and even without seeing his face, you were able to tell he was smirking.

“Oh, am I? How would you know?”

“I wouldn’t. Took a wild guess!”

A chuckle walked you out of the door instead of the man himself.

“See? Still the sassy queen!”

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

You wandered the Tower then, visiting the rooftop even and taking in the marvellous view. When you spread your arms to feel the wind better, you felt a ghost of fingers trace your skin, nothing concrete, just a whisper of a touch. You smiled sadly, wondering if it was a memory trying to fight its way out of the knot in your brain Castiel had mentioned when he had first attempted to figure out what was wrong with you and possibly fix it – which he had failed.

You didn’t blame him. Truth was, you didn’t know who to blame; not Castiel, not Steve and you had enough reason to know it wasn’t exactly your fault either. When you spread your arms again, the sensation didn’t return. So you left the open space, perhaps in search of the similar feeling throughout the Tower.

After Jarvis nudging you to take something from the fridge at least to imitate lunch, you met Clint again. You only nodded in a greeting at the man from the morning and continued your route. He didn’t engage, sensing you needed an alone time – which you did. Ever since the talk with Tony, a smile never quite left your lips, no matter how small.

You didn’t know what time it was when Jarvis addressed you again, polite as always, to tell you Steve was back. You felt your face light up and headed the direction you believed was his room.

You never ended up in a rather open hallway leading to it, stopping in your tracks when you heard a sudden rustle of fabric behind you. You spun on your heels only to meet an unfamiliar face of a woman, watching you with interest. A creepy interest, the kind of an examining glare that made you shiver.

You would swear you could feel the air crackle when her lips curled up slightly. Hair stood at the back of your neck and you fought a tremble. There was something powerful about the woman and you didn’t know whether it was safer not to move anymore or try to take a run for it. Since your feet took roots in the ground, staying still it was.

“Hi,” she breathed and it felt like she stole the air right from your lungs only to say the one word.  

“Who... who are you?” you queried shakily, something in you screaming to kneel in front of the woman who carried an immense power; how you knew that, you couldn’t tell.

When you didn’t listen to the instinct to submit to her, it was only due to the numbing horror as she took a step closer.

“Oh, do not fear me. I’m just here to fix what my brother obviously didn’t think through. Close your eyes,” she requested almost gently, but you couldn’t. You were afraid that if you did, you would never open them again.

And while you didn’t remember what it felt like to die, you sure as hell didn’t want to relive it.

When you didn’t obey, the woman sighed.

The very next second, you swiftly turned your face away, shading your eyes the second the sharp glow hit you.

You screamed at the burning sensation suddenly coursing your veins, lighting up every cell in your body, setting it on fire. Tears prickled in your eyes, running down your cheeks, leaving a burning trail like acid in their wake.

And then there was nothing. ༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Part 19

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

*runs and hides*

To distract you: wasn’t that a lovely moment with Tony? O:-)

[theofficialautisticgamer]

The Real Rise Of Skywalker A "LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga" Review Played on Xbox One X (Backwards Compatibility) Beat in 6 Hours, 39 Minutes and 12 Seconds Review by TheAutisticGamer (Michael) PROS AND CONS SUMMARY AT THE BOTTOM: A Decade Ago in a small town not too far away from Vancouver, I was 12 years old. It was just before I found my love for FPS Games with Half-Life and way before I fell in love with Serious Sam. I was a Nintendo Kid. When I heard that LEGO Star Wars had a complete pack of all the Episodes at the time called The Complete Saga, I was ecstatic. I had just watched the movies and was loving playing games for the Wii. I bought The Complete Saga and fell in love with it. Those were simpler times. Now, I'm turning 23 in January and wanted to look back on a game I haven't played in over a decade. LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga pretty much started the whole LEGO game craze. Sure, we had the two previous LEGO Star Wars Games, but this is the one that most people played and fell in love with. It's definitely an iconic game for the seventh generation of consoles and of course, I was a sucker for it back at the time. But how does my nostalgia feel about it now? Lets just start with the basics. The Complete Saga is a game where you play as a diverse cast of Star Wars characters starting with Qui Gon Jin and Obi Wan Kenobi from The Phantom Menance, to Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, and of course, Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi. Each character is unique which is always one of my biggest praises of LEGO Games is that Travellers Tales usually know how to make a diverse set of characters to fill in a game. You have mostly a choice of six characters to play as in each of the story missions at most. Some are Jedi, some are Rebels, some are Bounty Hunters, it doesn't matter. Each character, even the ones considered the worst from the movies are all helpful (Yes, I'm looking at you Jar Jar). Surprisingly, combat is super fun. Even though it's simplistic, it's most fun when you're playing a character with a blaster or a gun. Han Solo is definitely in the God Tier ranks of best characters in the game and can dodge projectiles while shooting which is super useful. Jedi on the other hand, is another story. Most of the time you're going to be spamming the same one move over and over leading to some pretty repetitive combat. However, force powers are usually fun to use and each has a light or dark side variant. So, before we talk about my biggest praises of the game, lets get down to the nitty gritty, the gameplay itself. How are the puzzles? How is the levels? How does it control? Well, this is the part where I think the game hasn't aged well that much. For one, the Episodes vary in gameplay and fun factors. The original Star Wars (Which I refuse to call Episode IV: A New Hope as it was originally just called Star Wars until 1980) is the most fun because the gameplay and puzzles are really good and feel unique. However, Attack of the Clones is the worst and is just as bad as the movie. Sure, they cut out all the boring shit from the movie, but the problem is the gameplay and puzzles flat out suck. With the exception of the Droid Factory, you'll find that the boss fights and objectives are a pain to play but not as much so in the original separate prequel trilogy game. Then there are the vehicle levels. For fucks sake, who thought this was a good idea? Every single vehicle level (except the pod race) is abysmal. They control like ass most of the time and are non intuitive. The whole game has these levels in every episode and they are trash. Most of the time, it's incredibly frustarting to just pull off a torpedo shot or trip down battle vehicles. The astroid belt in The Empire Strikes Back was the worst, as you have to run back and forth to get torpedos while dodging a crap ton of Tie Fighters which becomes infuriating. Plus, the game does not have recovery frames. Usually, in a game like Super Mario World, when Mario gets hit, he will take some recovery frames making him invincible for a few seconds to get your reactions back on track. THATS A GOOD THING. But this game doesn't have it! It's ridiculous how fast I've died in so many levels just because of this lacking feature and it makes it super hard to 100% the entire game for a such a relatively pushover game where bosses in the later episodes are easy as hell. Those were my biggest complaints other than they cut some stuff out like where Obi Wan put Baby Luke and Leia at the end of Revenge of the Sith and what happened to Yoda when Luke went back to Dagobah in Return of the Jedi. It's smooth sailing from there though. Because the humor is super satirical and really funny, especially in the original trilogy. The prequels I had a hard time laughing at stuff because it mostly took things a bit too seriously like the tone from the films. But man, once you get to the original movies, it's funny as hell. There are so many god damn genius moments where you can't help but laugh at how good the humor is. I really enjoyed a lot of it and it holds up really damn well even if there is no voice acting involved. Oh, and you can't forget the music. The whole entire score consists of tracks from the soundtrack and they are just wonderful to listen to. The Ewok's Tree Village in Return of the Jedi, The Star Destroyer going after the rebel ship in the original movie plus the ceremony, the last moments of Empire Strikes Back, even some moments of Revenge of the Sith are great! The music is iconic and awesome. It's one of the best things about the game as well. If you're looking to start your LEGO Game journey or are returning to the genre, LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga is a wonderful treat. The humor and music hold up well and so does the shooting combat but some may be frustrated with the game's vehicle levels and super obvious but not really puzzles. There were a few moments where I felt dumb for not knowing something obvious but that was on me. Good game, just doesn't hold up that well in some regards. 74/100 PROS: -Iconic Soundtrack with some of the best tracks from the films -Hilarious Humor that is satirical and holds up well. -Shooting Combat is extremely satisfying. -Graphics are good if a bit bright. -Diverse cast of characters to play as -Unique Puzzles -Gameplay is simple but really nice. -Lot of Collectibles and replayability. NEUTRALS: -Jedi Combat can be a bit boring and repetitive for some. -Some story beats have been cut out which might annoy some. CONS: -The Prequel Trilogy games are inferior to the original trilogy, especially Attack of the Clones. -Vehicle Levels are absolute garbage and control like crap. -No Recovery Frames means quick deaths everywhere -Hard to 100% because of quick deaths -Easy as hell boss battles especially in later episodes. -AI can be a bit useless especially in combat

[vagrantblvrd]

Burn the Stars (1/1)

Summary: Trevor meets Alfredo when he’s having one of those pesky out of mech experiences. (The kind preceded by being dropped into a combat zone as support for a Federation Militia squad who is just incompetent enough to lead them into ambush.)

Notes: This video gave me Ideas. I also borrowed elements from Titanfall 2 in this because I love that universe a lot. /o\

(Read on AO3)

Trevor meets Alfredo when he’s having one of those pesky out of mech experiences.

The kind preceded by being dropped into a combat zone as support for a Federation Militia squad who is just incompetent enough to lead them into ambush.

========

While Trevor does love a good I told you so, protecting the squishy humans under his protection comes first. He covers the squad as they retreat into the underbrush and engages in good old-fashioned fisticuffs with the other pilot who has the gall to cheat by using missiles. (Uncouth.)

The Consortium's mech he goes up against is all shiny and new, most likely just off the supply ship that  arrived a few days ago.

And that’s another I told you so right there, since the Militia commander in charge on this planet hasn’t been taking their warnings seriously. Seems to think a bunch of low-life mercenaries know fuck all about war. (Ironic, really, when you think about it.)

“Well now,” Trevor says, information about the mech he’s facing flashing up on a screen for him thanks to the onboard AI. Vanquisher-class combat mech, its key weak points highlighted in red. There’s...not a lot red to speak of really, which is far from ideal.  “This ought to be fun.”

========

Trevor wins, on a technicality.

The Consortium mech goes down, but his own is so badly damaged he has to abandon it. Pulls the AI datacore, and tucks it away all nice and safe in a handy pocket in his pilot suit. Waits until he’s at a safe distance before setting the self-destruct to make sure its chassis doesn’t fall into enemy hands.

From there -

Well.

They were dropped far behind enemy lines and Trevor’s armed with a pistol and a survival knife.

Also, he’s bleeding. (Just a little, because believe it or not, mech battles are brutal things.)

Still, he’s got all his limbs and while they’re a bit battered and bruised, they work well enough to get him started o his way back to base.

If he’s lucky, he’ll run into the militia squad. If not -

Well.

========

Trevor is not lucky.

Not lucky at all.

========

No, Trevor runs into a Consortium patrol instead.

Couple of ground troops perched on the shoulders of a Strider-class mech.

Lightly armored, it’s mostly used by civilian law enforcement agencies since they’re perfect for navigating city streets. The Consortium’s adapted them to support patrols on heavily forested planets like this one.

Nimble little things, really.

Terrifying when one’s coming after you, and you become so very aware of how soft and squishy you are in comparison.

Back to a cliff and the Strider looming over you with all it’s shiny weapons primed to fire, when you suddenly remember you never quite got our affairs in order. (Whoever will take care of your precious collection of leftover condiment packets from all those scrumptious MREs now?)

Trevor’s hands are in the air. He’s considering taking his chances with the drop behind him when his earpiece crackles and a voice he doesn’t know reels off a set of numbers.

Coordinates.

He has no idea what he’s supposed to do with that, when a gunshot rings out – and the Strider’s canopy spider-webs around a neat little hole just about the height where its pilot’s head should be.

There’s a moment where the Consortium troops don’t seem to know what just happened, looking around for the source of the gunshot. Haven’t realized the mech pilot is dead, that their major advantage has been taken out of the equation.

And then the sniper fires again, taking out the patrol commander and scattering the others giving Trevor the chance to escape into the forest.

========

The coordinates takes Trevor to a nice little cave where by a gently babbling brook where a group of mercenaries hold him at gunpoint until the sniper makes an appearance.

The mercenaries lose interest in Trevor when the sniper ambles over with a wide grin on his face as Trevor gives him a betrayed look.

“Yeah,” he says, looking Trevor over. “I probably should have given them a head’s up about you.”

It would have been nice, yes, but -

“I mean,” Trevor says. “You did save my life. It would make me seem ungrateful if I held that against you.”

========

Alfredo’s friends are more hospitable when they recognize the patch on Trevor’s shoulder, realize what he was doing out there. (Which squad he must have been with, what with chatter about it being all over their comms.)

“Your squad made it back to base safely,” Alfredo tells him, a little too casual and nonchalant. “No casualties.”

Booked it straight back to base, didn’t bother looking back, which is part and parcel with this whole war thing.

Stings a little bit more sometimes, though, when you’ve got your militia soldiers on one side of things and mercenaries like them on the other.

People fighting for their homes, their loved ones, all nice and noble. Honorable sorts, not like those dirty mercenaries. Cutthroat bastards with no loyalties to speak of to hear some people talk.

Come in with their guns and mechs. Their fancy little ships, and help the militia with their war out here.  Thrown into the thick of things and expected to give their all, and treated like they have no stake in the outcome.

Like most of them are from colony worlds the Consortium has a stranglehold on, like their families aren’t involved. Like they don’t give a damn if the resistance falls, how many friends they lose, because at the end of the day they’re just chasing a paycheck.

“That’s good,” Trevor says, light and carefree. “I’d be annoyed if they hadn’t.”

Alfredo hums, and Trevor nudges him with his elbow as he pulls out his lucky coin and rolls it across his knuckles.

“Want to see a neat trick?”

========

Alfredo’s group gets pulled out a week later, and Trevor goes with them. Hitches a ride here and there until he gets back to his base and Geoff yells at him for being a goddamned idiot for ten minute straight. (Trevor times it.)

He’s put on medical leave – something about injuries and parasites and tap dancing all over Geoff’s last nerve.

Gets drafted to deal with Geoff’s paperwork that piled up in Trevor’s absence because Geoff was too busy trying to get answers out of the militia about his whereabouts. (Very secret, hush-hush, mission that needed a mech to them take out a weapons depot before they walked right into an ambush.)

“Trevor,” Gavin says, sidling up to him with this gleam in his eye that means trouble. “What do you thing would happen if we - “

And Trevor, who’s been eye-deep in paperwork and red tape for days now, turns to him and grabs him by the shoulders.

“I have no idea, Gavin,” he says, very much aware he sounds a bit unhinged. “But whatever it is, let’s do it.”

Gavin blinks, clearly expecting more of a fight to get Trevor to agree.

“Are you sure? You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

There is absolutely no doubt in Trevor’s mind that whatever Gavin is up to is a terrible idea.

The worst.

And yet -

“Yes!” Trevor is going to lose his mind if he has to deal with the mind-numbing tedium any longer. “Yes I am.”

“Okay then,” Gavin says, and pulls out a datapad. “We’re going to need - “

========

There’s a fire.

A tiny, one really.

Certainly not something that necessitates another bout of yelling from Geoff, but he provides it anyway because he’s a generous soul when it comes down to it.

========

Trevor gets a shiny new mech off the assembly line, and decides it looks like a Billy.

“’Billy’,” Ryan says, like he’s not sure he heard Trevor correctly, which is fair as the hangar’s always noisy the day before a mission. “You’re going to name him Billy.”

Trevor grins, sitting pretty in the cockpit of a forty-something ton Titan-class mech. Missile pods on its  shoulders and sweet chainguns mounted on its forearms.

It’s not really a done thing to go around naming a mech chassis when they’ve got AI partners, but Trevor thinks it’s a little rude not to.

“Billy the Murder Robot, yeah.”

The basic AI from his previous mech has been loaded up and it’s getting a feel for the new chassis.

Running diagnostics and poking around like the new tenant it is. Smoothing all the rough edges in the coding and unnecessary redundancies. Making room pretty little bits of code and protocols the engineers back home still haven’t caught on to. (Don’t realize how vital they are no matter how many times Trevor sends a data packet back detailing the reasons why they’re so important.)

A window pops up on the screens in front of Trevor with an ASCII thumbs up.

“See? Hector approves.”

Ryan sighs, but there’s a faint smile on his face as he moves back to the catwalk and to watch Trevor finish running initial checks on Billy with Hector’s help.

========

Geoff worries, Trevor knows.

In charge of a bunch of assholes he sends into combat and wondering when one of them won’t make it back.

A hell of a position to be in, but there’s no one else any of them would trust with it.

“Geoff - “

“Look, asshole,” Geoff says, rubbing his temples and looking a hell of a lot like he'd wants to kick Trevor out of his office on his ass. “The last time I sent you on a mission, you blew your mech up. You think those things grow on trees?”

Well that’s just ridiculous.

Everyone knows that when a mommy mech loves a daddy mech very much -

“Trevor.”

Trevor looks at Geoff, who is using his Serious Voice.

“Geoff.”

Trevor is an asshole.

Geoff scowls at him, because he is very much aware of that.

“I’m cleared for duty,” Trevor says, and does a little spin to demonstrate how uninjured he is. “And you can’t keep sidelining me when you need everyone out there.”

“I know that!” Geoff snaps, but it’s less anger at Trevor and more at the entire situation, this ugly little war.

Trevor waits, because this is Geoff, and after a few moments, he sighs.

“Talk to Ryan, he’s leading the next mission.”

========

It’s a retreat, plain and simple, and Trevor and the others have been called in to back up the Militia’s forces. Protect the dropships as they ferry troops back to the forward base and various outposts.

It’s loud and chaotic, Billy’s filters and scrubbers working overtime to pump clean air into the cockpit, Trevor can still smell the smoke, taste it.

Hector sends up a warning trill before a new voice comes over the cockpit speakers.

It’s Alfredo, and he’s in trouble. Squad pinned down and there’s not much a heavy sniper can do up against the armor plating on a Harbinger-class heavy, but there he is anyway.

Trevor reaches up to tap the pair of fuzzy dice Lindsay gave him for luck, and goes to help. (He’s got a debt to repay after all.)

========

“You know,” Trevor says, when everyone is back at base. “It takes a tank to bring a Harbinger down.”

Or a Titan-class combat mech, not to toot his own horn.

Alfredo gives him a look.

“Hey, you just stick with your mech, and I’ll stick with my sniper,” he says, but there’s laughter in his voice and an easy smile on his face he does.

And to be fair, he has a point.

In a fight everyone’s focus is on the mechs in play. Tend to forget about the squishy human running around with their heavy sniper. Powerful enough to punch through the plasteel canopy of most mechs, and a small enough to go unnoticed in the thick of battle. Slip behind enemy lines unnoticed to take care of enemy commanders and high-value targets.

The base is still in a bit of an uproar, mechanics running around barking order as they race to get damaged mechs back up to fighting speed. Militia soldiers waiting to be ferried back to their own bases, and the odd displaced mercenary like Alfredo just loitering about.

“Alright,” Trevor says, and pulls out that lucky coin of his again, because they’ve got time to kill and everyone loves a good magic trick.

[angel-gidget]

The Hop, the Skip, & the Endless Jump: My Tony Stark/Amnesia: Memories AU

I suppose we all have that one story for a fandom that's just sitting in our brains, marinating with little hope of coming to fruition bc it's just too complicated to quite get fully written out in actuality.

Mine is an MCU/Amnesia: Memories crossover au thing. Basically, Tony Stark wakes up with partial amnesia one day, and every interaction he has with every single person feels off. But being Tony, he adjusts and starts to kinda get into the swing of things over the course of the next 24 hours. Team? Avengers. Fiancé? Pepper. Bestie? Rhodey. Protege? Peter. Pain in the ass? Ross and/or Rogers depending on the day.

But then he wakes up on the same day in what is clearly a different universe.

No fiancé. Best friend? Rogers?! Protege? Riri. Pain in the ass? Some dude named Von Doom of all things. He figures out that he's in a different universe, but how he body-hopped into it and why is something he doesn't even get a chance to look into before he wakes up. Again.

Same day, different universe. Team? Avengers... Academy. Fiancé? None. Because apparently he's younger here? Best Friend? Janet Van Dyne and sometimes Loki. Protege? None. Because apparently, he can barely grow facial hair here. But he finds himself bestowing unwanted advice on Peter Parker anyway. Pain in the ass? Nick Fury. So he studies the local time-fog and only learns how utterly non-sensical the explanations for his situation could even be.

So he's kind of relieved when he wakes up again. But that relief dies with the next Q&A. Team? None. Fiancé? None. Bestie? Happy Hogan... but dead. Protege? Some Hulk-like kid who's clearly being emotionally abused. Maybe by Tony himself?  Pain in the ass? Definitely the man in the mirror because apparently Tony is a BAD GUY in this dimension. So Tony decides to wreck as much as possible for himself in the next 24 hours because, hey, might as well TRY to leave this world a better place, right?

When he wakes up again, the first thing Tony wants to know is if he's even a good person. But then the questions multiply because he realizes he's woken up on a space ship. Team? Guardians of the Galaxy. Fiancé? His teammates keep referencing a crazy alien protoplasmic being that is ruler of a distant planet, but Tony can't tell if they're joking or not. Bestie? Rocket or Peter Quill depending on the day. Protege? Peter Parker. Who is Iron-Spider in this 'verse apparently, and oh God, that is adorable. And apparently Peter is also his recently adopted son? What? Pain in the ass? Thanos. But also the Avengers, his former team in this dimension. (This entire universe is basically a slightly fluffier version of Influential Pineapple's AU, How to Repair a Broken Heart.)

.... so basically, the Amnesia: Memories premise just provides a framework for related dimension-hopping vignettes in which I could play with Tony's interactions with others, while still giving myself leeway for not being super-familiar with the comic-verse or writing Marvel fanfic in general. Also, maybe an opportunity to ask permission to play in the sandboxes of some of my favorite fanfic authors.

But unlike the Amnesia: Memories video game, Tony's dimension-hopping might actually have a lot of possible explanations. Did Tony get lost in a time-fog in his original universe? Did he get cursed by a magic user? Maybe this is the result of messing with infinity stones? Hard to say. He'd probably run a few of these theories in-story as well.

I guess notes have implied so far that Tony only spends 24 hours in each reality, but I think I'd also prefer to mimic A:M in the sense that his stays are not that consistent. He might spend anywhere from a day to a week in each reality. He's got no control over it. Until he realizes that if he dies, he'll wake up somewhere else. Thus Tony realizes he technically has the ability to shorten his stay. If he's desperate. Joy.

So the whole thing is an angstfest, basically. If he's in a nice comfy dimension, it's torture bc he knows he can't stay. Then the awful realities are just awful. And it only gets more and MORE tempting to apply things he learns about people into other dimensions.

Some of the WORST things:

Waking up in an addicted body. MCU Tony had a... less dramatic recovery from alcoholism than other versions of himself. Waking up homeless, curled up in a snow-covered dumpster, with every cell in his body screaming for vodka was an experience Tony could have 100% done without.

Going from 60 to 0 with Peter. Tony can adjust fairly quickly if he lands in a dimension where he's closer to Peter than he remembers. Hug more. Speak a little softer. It's nice, really. Maybe kinda addictive. Which would explain why following that up with a reality where Peter treats him like a total stranger makes him feel absolutely sick inside.

The revolving door of Romance. Tony is sure that in his original dimension he was with Pepper. At least, he's mostly sure. To be fair, the dimensions in which Pepper is his ex also have a feeling of... normalcy. Not good--not good at all--but not odd either. And of course, there are the worlds where he wakes up with someone else. Those can be tempting. Especially if the last few realities have involved waking up alone. Things sometimes go... badly if Tony explains the dimension hopping too quickly. He needs to know if he can trust people first. That often involves... playing along. Which may involve being a playboy again. He's too old for this. He's not the same age in every reality, but he knows he's too old for this. It sucks.

Steve. The pure whiplash of knowing the best and worst of the man, and having too much of all his lives affected by it. And then having to interact with whatever THIS Steve’s normal is. Good or bad, it never feels fair.

The damn dystopias. Some entire worlds are just that bad. Zombie plague. Dictator Von Doom. The Snap. Even one occasion where there was only a belt of iced-over rocks where the Earth should have been.

His own reaction to the damn dystopias. After the pile-of-rocks incident, Tony's first words when he woke up in the next dimension were "Screw this." He never found out if he was romantically involved with anyone, but he noticed Pepper left some calls. He told his AI--a new one, he didn't know this one. That was fine.--to book him a flight to the nearest tropical beach with minimal crowds. And to invite Peter Parker.

To his relief, a very confused eighteen-year-old Peter did show up in front of his private jet. This one didn't know him very well, but was his honest-to-God intern through SI. So of course he was up for whatever his boss's bosses' great-grand-boss wanted. So Tony lied and told Peter he'd picked his name at random, and that as an eccentric billionaire, Tony Stark invited random Interns on a flight of fun all the time.

He then proceeded to underhandedly use every little preference and detail he had learned about Peter over the span of realities to set him at ease as he proceeded to be a horrible influence and drag them both away from all responsibility. The Avengers tried to call him twelve times. Seven from Nick Fury. Eight from a Carol Danvers, whoever the hell that was.

Tony spent the week laying on a beach, playing video games, imbibing sugar, and listening to Peter call and make excuses to his aunt while joining him in all the above. It was funny until Peter dropped his phone into Tony's lap. Then May Parker reminded Tony that responsibility was a thing.

And okay, she didn't know. She didn't know that Tony was half-insane from witnessing the erasure of the earth. But she knew that her nephew was missing his classes and had been whisked overseas without a passport. And she knew that maybe Tony didn't care about what the consequences of that would be for Peter, but he should. He should.  

He looked up saw that Peter's eyes were wide as saucers and Tony realized his own cheeks were wet. So he told May he was sorry, and then told his AI to wire thirty-six thousand dollars into the Parker's joint bank account. (It was a strange tiny number, but it was the most money any May Parker had ever accepted from him in any dimension, and Tony remembered that.) It was just in case. In case Tony wasn't there the next day. In case they needed anything. Like a lawyer. Or a fund in case Peter lost his scholarship.

After a week of this? He probably had. And it would be all Tony's fault. Because he'd lost it and gone on a BENDER. And wasn't that a realization? He didn't need alcohol or sex to go on an irresponsible bender and drag his a kid into it with him.

Tony woke up in a new reality the next day, resolved to do better. He called May Parker first thing, and thanked her. This May Parker had never spoken to a Tony Stark, and assumed it was a prank call. That was fine. There were space aliens attacking, and Tony had a suit.

Team? Avengers. Fiancé? To be figured. Bestie? Thor? Thor. Okay. Protege? Harley Keener. Pain in the ass? The Chitauri today. Oh, goody. He already knew exactly what to do.

Time to be Iron Man again.

[robotnik-mun]

Robotnik Art Historia- Part Four: Age of the Eggman

Welcome one and all to the Robotnik Art Historia, where we examine the visual depictions of Robotnik over the years! Well beautiful friends, we’re close to the end here, and it’s rather appropriate given that the particular ‘era’ of the books covered here is where things really began to end for the old Robotnik, with a new Robotnik emerging to take the place of the old- Robo-Robotnik, an early one shot villain, who after devastating his own Mobius was moving in to the current one in order to re-live the thrill of conquest. Uploading his consciousness into a body modeled after the modernized Eggman design from Sonic Adventure, he would take over as central villain to the book, and usher in a time when SEGA would finally start exerting more and more control over the book in order to align things more closely to the games, having decided that they wanted a more consistent depiction of their mascot and his world. To sound off that declaration, an adaptation of Sonic Adventure would become the first major plot after issue 75. Afterwards came what I like to call ‘The Dark Ages’.

Now, for each person, when and why ‘The Dark Ages’ started up is a matter of interpretation. Personally, I place the deterioration of things as happening after the Sonic Adventure adaptation finished- this is era that would give us Green Knuckles, the Love Triangle, Freedom Fighters In School, and the thrice accursed art of Ron Lim (more on him below). It was an age of uneven storytelling and even more uneven art. Yet despite having long since been permanently killed off, Robotnik managed to linger on all the same. Fittingly, this era would feature some of the crappiest art of Robotnik yet, and at the same time would signal his temporary return to the books... in what was probably one of the worst Sonic issues ever. 

19. Chris Allan

A former regular on the Archie Ninja Turtles comic, Chris Allan theoretically should have been a perfect fit for the book, having demonstrated more than enough skill in drawing anthropmorphic animals that would qualify him to handle Sonic. Unfortunately, Allan was a rather prominent example of what I call ‘Sonic Complacency Syndrome’- it’s when an otherwise skilled and competent artist’s abilities turn to complete shit when they try to do Sonic. It has felled more than a few, and serves as a good illustration as to why it takes effort to do this shit right- Allan’s Mobians were poorly, poorly executed, and try as he might he could never quite get them right. He was selected to illustrate the ‘Tales of the Great War’ stories, which helped to flesh out the (underwhelming) details of the Great War and how Robotnik came to be Warlord. While his Mobians were sub-par, he managed to do a pretty good job with Robotnik. There was nothing in particular that stood out about his take on the guy, but given how the rest of his work ‘stood out’, that’s prolly for the best. 

19. Frank Strom

Frank Strom’s enduring legacy on the Sonic Book was the creation of the Dragon Kingdom and all the characters associated with it, including the infamous Monkey Khan. Frank Strom before working on Sonic was heavily involved with DC’s Looney Tunes comics as a writer, and worked extensively in Adult Comics. When it came to drawing for Sonic, he was.... not really all that good, at least when it came to Mobians. He had more luck with humans, including Robotnik, and was among the few to draw the guy before he had the bionic earsa nd eyes. While there is nothing especially bad about how he drew Robotnik, there’s something very... off, about the way he looks. Bit of an uncanny valley thing going on there. And as many before him did, Strom is yet another to draw Robotnik with a bulbous nose. Out of all the features that artists drawing the guy seem to mess up, it’s more often than not its his nose- which is ironic, given that this design has the least exaggerated nose out of any Robotnik and Eggman out there. 

20. Suzanne Paddock 

Susan Paddock is a bit of a mystery- she has only two Sonic works to her name, only one of them being a proper story, and I can’t really find much of anything about her career outside of the hedgehog. Still, the one story she illustrated for was perhaps one of the most out there ideas in all of the book- a story where Sonic winds up in a rules obsessed zone and has to clear his name with the help of a lawyer Sally Acorn called “Sally McAcorn”. Yeah, that’s not dated or anything (for those of you who weren’t children of the 90s, Fox in those days had a comedy tinged lawyer show called ‘Ally McBeal’, best known for birthing the ‘dancing baby’ meme of the early internet).

 Anyway, Paddock’s art style in general was really weird, and her depiction of Robotnik was no different- in this Zone an AI called ‘J.U.D.G.’, at some point in the past there was an organic Robotnik, and just... look at him. He has teeny tiny T-rex arms! And his body looks like it was glued onto his legs! Damn this was a weird ass story, and I’m still not clear if it was meant to be implied that the past Robotnik became J.U.D.G.E or not... yeah in addition to being weird, this was a crappy story in general. It was also the last time Robotnik in any form would appear in a Super Special, as between this stinker and the even worse ‘Naugus Games’ the line was cancelled. 

21. J. Axer 

Jeffrey Axer was one of a number of artists on the book who started out as a fanartist, and easily one of the most well regarded- bringing to the book an incredibly detailed anime-influenced aesthetic, he was responsible for some of the most gorgeous artwork to grace the early 2000s era of the book. Which is why its such a crying shame that the only times he got to draw Robotnik 1.0 where in a pair of Pro-Art pieces, both of which were miscolored. Seriously, why is it so hard to remember that his eyes are red against black??? Why??? Ah well- Axer’s Robotnik was cool looking, taking much of the SatAM Robotnik and making it fit into the anime aesthetic very nicely. I especially dig  the fang-like eye teeth and attention paid to his cheek bones. 

22. Ron Lim

Hooo boy, Ron Lim... I still wonder if he was a victim of Sonic Complacency Syndrome or if he just didn’t give a shit. Either way, Lim was a former Marvel hotshot who was particularly well known for his work on Silver Surfer. I am convinced that the reason he got the job at Archie was purely on the basis of having been a big name at Marvel, because lord almighty his artwork was just horrendous. Well, that’s not entirely fair- Ron Lim is in fact a very skilled artist, but the problem was? He was a poor, poor, poor fit at Sonic with a near total inability to even vaguely grasp the kind of style you’d expect for a Sonic book. What was worse though was that despite how awful his work on the book was, Ron Lim stuck around for a long, long time, to such an extent that he was practically the main artist for the book for much of the early 2000s. Yeah, not fun times. 

Naturally, his touch of dung extended to his art for Robotnik. Much like Penders, Lim struggled to reconcile the realism he was used to with the toony exaggeration required of the book, and ended up failing on both counts. Ron Lim’s Robotnik as an end result was a stubby, wrinkly looking guy whose appearance made it seem as though he had been sculpted from butter and was in the process of melting. Not helping matters at all was the fact that the story he appeared in was one of the very worst of the series, and a personally despised one. Lim’s Robontik is noteworthy in that it might be the most realistic looking of the various attempts at drawing Robotnik... this however was not a good thing, as much like Penders, Lim’s Robotnik was caught in an awkward area between realism and tooniness, and executing neither well. Still, this wasn’t the worst drawn Robotnik on the book. That distinct honor would go to the next on our list...

23. “Many Hands” 

Many Hands. A name which will live in infamy. Okay technically ‘Many Hands’ wasn’t a person but a bunch of people, but twice this name has popped up and twice the end result was just odious. Look at this. Just... look at this. Do I really have to explain why this is awful? He looks like a deflated baloon, his shoulder pads are all wrong, and the coloring and shading is just *garish*. This is probably the worst drawn Robotnik in the entire series, and given all the shitty art that came before and after that’s REALLY saying something. 

24. Dawn Best 

Another of the ‘New Wave’ of fanartists-turned-pro that hit the book in the early 2000s, Dawn Best was a much anticipated addition to the books, having made a name for herself in fan circles as a superb artist. She showed a great deal of promise, much of which was unfortunately squandered thanks to Ken Penders’ absolutely abominable inks making a hash out of the bulk of her art. While he slowly improved down the line, the damage was done. Regardless, Best remained pretty popular. She only managed to draw Robotnik once- her take on Robotnik was an especially chunky and brutish looking specimen, with a shaggier and more unkempt mustache than most. As I say far too often than I like, its a shame we could not have seen more from her... both regarding Robotnik and in general.

And thus we bring this chapter of the Historia to a close. Well friends, it’s the beginning of the end now- after this there will only be one last post to this artist retrospective, as we exit the Dark Age of the book and enter into what was a bright and shiny renaissance- the Flynn Era!  

[daniel--berry]

Worst to Best Superhero Movies I’ve Seen

31) The Amazing Spider-Man

I hate this movie. I laughed throughout the entire film. “The lizard” could not have been a worse super-villain. I sort of liked the yellow Spidey-eyes, I guess. Emma Stone gave a nice performance. Can’t write anything else about it.

30) Doctor Strange

This is one of the only movies on the list I fell asleep during. Some of the visuals were pretty original, but the storyline was like a terrible version of Kung Fu Panda. Maybe if they casted Jack Black instead of super-boring Benedict Cumberbatch (I loved you in Sherlock baby, don’t be offended), Doctor Strange could have had a little charisma. I think this is the only movie on this list that made me upset after watching it.

29) Suicide Squad

What is this movie, some kind of Suicide Squad? Maaaan, what a great cast in such a forgettable movie. Here’s the thing though, I liked it more than most people did. I think whatever-her-name-is was a charismatic (though definitely not funny) Harley Quinn. Jared Leto wasn’t super offensive as the Joker, I looked forward to his scenes, but he looked like an idiot, like a twenty year old with temporary tattoos. What is this guy, some kind of Joker?

28) Thor

I can’t remember this movie. It was probably better than Suicide Squad though. Oh yeah, there’s that part where he throws his coffee on the ground and yells “Another!”. Haha, that was pretty funny.

27) Deadpool

Haha, he uses bad words! But it’s a superhero movie! This movie will serve best as the first R-rated movie a 12 year old sees behind his parent’s back. This is the other one I fell asleep during. 

26) Thor: The Dark World

This one’s interesting. I actually like this movie a lot, in theory. Visually, it’s one of my favorite Marvel movies. You could even say that if I made a MCU movie, it would look a lot like this one. Again, in theory, this is cool. It made Loki an anti-hero after the Avengers, which I think is a great choice. Unfortunately, this is a big piece of shit. And it will make you (unjustly) dislike Natalie Portman. 

25) Wonder Woman

Wow, I thought I’d love this movie. I’ve always thought Wonder Woman was a great character. Gal Gadot is almost perfect for the role. But man, what a boring story. Way too much time is spent on an ugly island, and the rest of the movie is a fish-out-of-water Crocodile Dundee rip-off, with Tumblr-friendly British humor. Haha, that English woman’s accent is sooo British! No thank you. A DAMN boring movie! 

24) The Amazing Spider-Man 2

We’re starting to get to superhero movies that I actually sort-of enjoy. This is my second favorite Spider-Man movie, but that’s out of the three ones on this list. I think this movie ruined Jamie Foxx’s career. Spider-Man has never looked better, though. Definitely the best Spidey-suit. I’m a sucker for those huge eyes. I walked out of the movie wanting to see a sequel, to be honest.

23) Ant-Man

I don’t remember this one, but I remember laughing a lot. Doesn’t Ant-Man work at Baskin Robbins or something in this? Oh yeah, and Michael Douglas is in this. I love that guy!

22) Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

What a STUPID title for a movie. Nothing felt natural here. Did I mention that I hate the title? Here’s the thing, some of the elements of this movie work great. People made fun of the “Martha” twist, but I liked it, as well as Ben Affleck’s portrayal of Batman. But again, nothing was natural about this story. The tone shift is so dramatic from Man of Steel, and yet it’s supposed to be a direct sequel. Henry Cavill’s Superman isn’t memorable. Jesse Eisenberg’s lines were badly written and he never seemed like a real human being. Still, I didn’t hate it.

21) Thor: Ragnarok

Such great ideas here. Pairing Hulk and Thor for a comedy? Wonderful. Jeff Goldblum as a charismatic (gay) planet emperor is my favorite new MCU character. More of him, please! Why so low on this list? Hela sucked, as all Thor villains do. But man, she sucked the worst. The goddess of death? She just looks kind of goth, and never does anything too death-y. I like how the fire monster destroys the Thor world (what’s it called again?), and to the movie’s credit, it doesn’t treat this like an earth-shattering moment. Because let’s be honest, we never gave a fuck about that place.

20) Avengers: Age of Ultron

Ok, yes. This movie has aged pretty badly. But there’s a lot to like! Vision is a graceful, hot, AI legend right out of the gate. Lots of nice seeds are sown here, but it’s too bad that Ultron was a big dumbass who didn’t know how to execute any of his angsty plans. His “age” lasted about a day? Day of Ultron. Still, Tony Stark deserves to be put in prison by now.

19) Guardians of the Galaxy

As far as nailing a tone down, this movie did it best. You can call this movie airtight in its execution. The only negative is that every following Marvel movie felt like it had to be just as funny as this one.

18) Man of Steel

I love me a serious superhero film. I think this movie is best described in pros and cons. Pros: Henry Cavill is the best onscreen Superman yet, Michael Shannon made an otherwise goofy role kind of believable, the special effects are the best I’ve ever seen in a superhero film. Cons: None of this matters, because you’ve just never seen a more boring plot to a film in your life.

17) Batman

There will be no disrespect for the classics here. Every good superhero movie owes it all to Batman. This movie nailed it in every category. Jack Nicholson’s weirdo Joker was all-too-perfect, and the goth-horror scenery was inspired. Best of all, Michael Keaton made the idea of a gay orphan dressing up as a bat pretty relatable.

16) Superman

They haven’t quite gotten it right until 2006, but more on that up the list. This is the best Superman will ever be, because the character really just doesn’t work in the modern day. Christopher Reeve gives a romantic, gosh-golly version of the comic character, and it’s pretty damn good. Also, Marlon Brando’s Jor-El is haunting and gorgeous when he speaks. Another classic.

15) Batman Begins

Blah blah blah, gritty, dark, blah blah blah. Reinvented superhero movies, blah blah blah realistic.

14) Captain America: The First Avenger

This is the heart and soul of the MCU, and one of the most unique out of the series. Still feels important even in the third phase, and has a lot of great messages that I am too lazy to write. Great movie, and Chris Evans as Captain America was the best casting choice since Robert Downey Jr. Nothing but greatness here.

13) Iron Man 2

Do people really think this is the worst of the MCU? Not by a long-shot. But oh my god, Tony Stark is just such a war criminal. And Mickey Rourke is delightful! I love that part where Iron Man empties his bladder into his own Iron Man suit. Did Superman ever do that shit? Fuck Superman!

12) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

My ass has seen a lot of superhero movies, but I don’t think my ass has smiled more watching one of them. Ummmm, what a fucking great movie? With a fucking great plot? And, like, a great villain for fucking once? A truly lovely film.

11) The Dark Knight Rises

A marxist superhero film? No wonder it’s not the fan favorite. But I love it just the same. The funeral scene at the end is beautifully acted by all involved. Yes, Bruce Wayne died, but it didn’t feel cheap. Catwoman driving the batpod? An icon of cinema. A great ending to a great blah blah blah, not as good as The Dark Blah blah blah.

10) Marvel’s The Avengers

What a moment for a little thirteen year old nerdfuck like me. It leans on the immature side of the MCU, yes. But it’s damn near perfect filmmaking, and by far the most accessible superhero movie to date. Hulk Smash!

9) Iron Man 3

We’re getting into real personal-favorite territory here. Shane Black’s Christmas superhero film is hated by a lot of people, but don’t worry, they’re all just sweaty ugly nerds with untouched genitals who don’t realize that Fu-Manchu proto-Asian wizard stereotypes aren’t exactly the best material for a 2013 film. Man, I adore this movie. It’s a perfect blend of comedy (not too much) and drama (not too much), with an infusion of self awareness that appeals to a cynical guy like me.

8) Superman Returns

This movie really understands Superman. It’s too bad it was overshadowed by Batman Begins, because this movie has a lot to offer. No, it isn’t action-packed, and yes it does star Kevin Spacey (gross) as Lex Luther, but the romanticism and themes of a post-superhero world are rich with wonderful dialogue and the best onscreen Lois Lane yet. Forget the Kryptonite iceberg at the end, Superman’s journey of finding himself is surprisingly great material for a film, delicately directed by Bryan Singer. Wait, is that TWO pedophile boy rapists in one film? Yikes, you know what.......never mind. 

7) Captain America: Civil War

The re-watchability here is astonishing. It’s not even an Avengers film, and it’s still easily the best Avengers film. And yet, it stays its course as a personal story of loyalty and sacrifice for the titular character. It’s totally a Captain America movie. Also, can Tony Stark just get fucking imprisoned already?

6) Iron Man

Easily the “coolest” superhero movie ever made. I can watch terrorists get blown up by lasers all day! A true classic, and still feels just a little more legitimate than all the other MCU films.

5) Spider-Man: Homecoming

A relatable protagonist? A relatable villain? An evil psycopath? (Tony Stark). What’s not to love? It might not have “amazing” in the title like those other fuck-your-mom Spidey movies, but it most certainly is. (Amazing, I mean).

4) The Dark Knight

Blah blah blah joker, blah blah blah Heath Ledger, Christopher Nolan. Blahblahblahblah dark, reinvented the genre, blah blah blah.

3) Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Yes I’ll say it. Here we have the best story in a superhero film to date. And to disguise all the intellectual themes of post-terrorist society, individuality, corruption, the pointlessness of patriotism, and homoeroticism, we have just enough kick-ass action scenes for your average brain-dead male to get a kick out of it too.

2) X-Men: Days of Future Past

I’m a sucker for time travel, and fuck me if this didn’t deliver 100%. This was my first X-Men movie experience, and I still think about it about once every couple of weeks. I don’t even want to write about it because I get embarrassed by my love for this movie.

1) Logan

The world’s changed. All the mutants are dead. Patrick Stewart is a senile fuck. Wolverine’s claws hurt when he tries to bring them out. Jesus Christ, there’s so much here that I can’t believe it’s a real movie. There’s just something about seeing a grizzly Hugh Jackman in a bloody t-shirt that really grinds my gears. It’s tragic, it’s beautiful, it’s expansive, and it feels like the last superhero movie that ever needs to be made.

[jessejackreyes]

A rant about the state of Overwatch Lore or Why I don’t really like the new comic very much

The new comic Blizzard put out has left me really ambivalent. On the one hand, I like Akande and I kind of want things to happen and the comic gave me those things. On the other hand, I have a list of things that this comic either did poorly or actually ruined/damaged by its existence. I’m going to try to make this rather exhaustive, but I don’t know how much I’ll be able to put in this one post. I'll probably forget a bunch of stuff.

It's difficult to pick where to start here when there is so much that I want to say, but I suppose I might start on why I think the comic both had the villains do something, yet do nothing at all.

I have wanted something significant to happen in regards to the plot of Overwatch for a long time, but this comic only teased me with something that might happen instead of actually doing something. The conflict solved in this comic, a minor power struggle within Talon itself, that I can’t care about, exists only within the context of the comic itself. What this means is that the comic made up a problem unrelated to established lore and then resolved it and that was it. That was all of the forward motion other than stating Akande’s end goal which we already knew from other sources.

It’s not a problem that the comic only really existed to show off some nice art and sort of introduce us to Akande, but the way it teased me with the potential of actual progression was a bit of a let down. At least we know something will probably happen at some point.

One of the most upsetting things to me is the way this comic subtly ruins Sombra’s animated short, which really sucks because I like that one a lot. It accomplishes this by doing two things. First it sets up not killing Katya Volskaya as a good thing for Talon, retroactively making Sombra less of a badass rebel by making it so that even when she betrays Talon for her own ends she is helping them unknowingly. That's just fan-frickin-tastic, but that's not the worst part.

The second thing it does is casually and quickly let you know that Reaper knows what Sombra did. He doesn’t suspect something, he knows for a fact and that fucking sucks. The animated short set her up as a dangerous and competent agent who was out for herself, her alliance with Talon seemingly one of convenience while she pursues her own goals. In this comic we find out that she is nowhere near as competent as we were led to believe, everything she does helps Talon regardless of her intentions and she is helping them start a new world war style crisis for reasons… Good…

Now let’s talk about Reaper for a bit. Reaper says that he managed to steal part of the Overwatch database and has already killed some people on it. Overall this is a fairly bad writing choice for two reasons:

One, it actually destroys a great opportunity for a meaningful and direct conflict. Right now the “good guys” of the cast are at best passively in conflict with the villains of the story, they respond to them but are not really fighting them. (Jack and Ana withstanding) By not ignoring the Recall short they could have forced Talon to go after the database again in order to use the information and therefore drive a direct conflict with them that would get the good guys actually involved in the story.

Two, It reinforces the fact that few of the rest of the cast have anything to do with Talon and are ultimately just doing nothing. A bunch of exOverwatch agents start dying and nobody does anything? People don’t start responding to the recall or at the very least trying to track down the people responsible? This reminds me of a scene from the English dub of Sailor Moon where the scouts are watching the news talking about a school bus full of children going missing and one of the scouts says “That's the tenth one so far,” or something like that and I’m like, “Why have you waited for ten buses full of children to disappear before you did something about it!?”

This leads me to another question though. Reaper is Gabriel Reyes, former commander of Blackwatch. Why the fuck does he not know a bunch of this information already? It seems weird to me that he wouldn’t have either known this already, planned ahead and gathered it near the end of Overwatch or had some way of tracking them other than hacking an AI in a pseudo abandoned former military base. It just seems like Gabriel didn't think this through at all. This is especially bad because this comic really heavily implies that Reaper has been working with Talon since significantly before Zurich so he had plenty of time to plan things.

I mean this is to say nothing about why Athena has up to date location information about all of these Overwatch agents that the world’s most powerful shadow cult Hydra thing couldn’t manage to keep track of. These people were public figures/employees essentially. It shouldn't be hard to track most of them down. I mean Torbjorn just lives with his wife and 100 children, how hard is it to find him? I guess they all kept their communicators on their person for the last five years or something.

Akande knows who Gabriel is and I want to say that the ramifications of that are considerable, which they kinda are, but I’m not here to speculate on the clusterfuck that is Reaper’s timeline too much. It could mean a lot, or it could just be Blizzard’s weird thing about having Ana Amari, Jack Morrison and Gabriel Reyes be “undercover” or whatever, but everyone figures out who they all are instantly. I don’t know why Blizzard does that, but it is a recurring thing.

On the plus side I like Maximilian.

An additional plus, I love that the thematic/philosophical rival to Akande is eleven year old Efi Oladele. Overwatch already had some degree of generational conflict and this is a continuation of that trend which I appreciate, but also I kinda want to see an eleven year old girl kick Akande and Reaper’s asses.

The costumes were pretty awesome. I’m 90% certain that the comic existed mostly so that they could show off those designs.

I hope we get a comic/short that gives us some information about what the good side of the cast is doing. I remember that we are Overwatch advertisement, which was sort of a lie because we have only two confirmed characters in Overwatch as of present, three if you count Athena. So much of the cast is doing jackall while the bad guys scheme to bring their comic book plot to completion.

On the plus side they did not derail Hanzo’s story by having him join Talon.

This is about the short, not the comic, but do Tracer’s guns not shoot bullets or does she have the worst aim in the universe? Alternatively, is Akande bulletproof?

I do like how a big part of the comic is basically Akande saying “I am a bad guy, but I’m not a fucking capitalist” That is pretty hilarious.

We have some villains to do villainy now, so Blizzard just needs to actually have some conflict happen between characters now. Our heroes need to actually be heroic, like at the museum, but more characters with bigger stakes.

Also, since the Omnics are going to be an important part of the current story(they are extremely important to the backstory) can we have some more Omnic characters please?

I was going to rant more, but I figured I should keep things somewhat focused on the comic instead of more general. I should also probably follow this up with a post about things I like about Overwatch so I don’t seem like I’m just hating on it.

[batmanfucker69-archive]

Oh no...it’s time to talk about the companions. :(

Before I go into them individually I wanna say that gameplay wise they’re all pretty worthless. None of them can aim well and their AI is poor. The melee characters are ok in a fight but I’ve never had most of them do much when I’m fighting. This probably isn’t too controversial I mean most of the time bethesda games have bad AI it just stands out a lot in this game to me. 

Also the romance part felt tacked on super late like. it barely effects anything you barely get any new dialogue from romancing them. It’s really obvious they wanted to cash in on bioware’s popular romance function from mass effect and dragon age while putting in the least amount of effort. Also there’s the fact that they’re all the schrodinger’s bisexual trope, save for maybe a fetishizing line from Cait.

I’ll go in alphabet order of the characters names, and also cover their companion quest if they have one. 

Cait- She’s probably one of my favorites but like...she’s wasted potential. I still don’t understand why there’s like. British/Russian/Irish characters in these games because how did they get over here but anyway. Cait is located at an arena raiders go to bet on fighters. She’s one of the fighters you find when you come in but the raiders immediately attack you which is super lazy. There could have been a quest to get her but you kill everyone but her and her manager.

She’s basically forced to be your companion because her manager immediately sells you her contract. You can’t say no without being a rude asshole so I take her everytime but I sometimes just leave her in a settlement. She’s rude, and one of the characters who seems to enjoy you being rude to other people. But...then she says she enjoys how nice you are to her and everyone else but you’ve only gotten approval from her for being rude to other people or stealing. It’s incredibly confusing whether she sees you as someone like her or someone she wants to be like.

On the other hand I think her backstory is strong and I can see what Bethesda was going for with her. She’s conflilcted because she wants to be a good person, but doesn’t see how to in a world as cruel as she lives in. Which is a really good idea for a fallout character and if handled better she’d probably be one of my favorite characters in fallout as a whole.

Then there’s her companion quest which they royally fucked up on.Bethesda’s writers are not good enough to cover a sensitive issue like drug addiction. And making a magical machine that can just cure your addiction in like 5 seconds is super insulting.

Codsworth- I don’t care about Codsworth at all. They kind of touch on his old connection to your family but that goes no where and I...don’t care about my family. He never even finds out what happens to Shaun I don’t think. He’s just kinda there. He also doesn’t have a personal quest. 

Curie- Curie is controversial and for good reason. At first I thought she was a cute little robot who was programmed with AI and I thought it was neat that an AI other than a synth would be a romance option. I was so so wrong. They upload her consciousness into a failed memory transferred synth. 

They basically took someone who was in a vegetative state, erased their existance completely, and replaced their mind with Curie’s. Which is super fucked up. Of course they upload her into a sexy lady which is super objectifying...somehow more than when she was a robot. 

Wanting to feel more human could have been a really interesting development for an AI character but they just made it super fucked up while not confronting the fact that it’s super fucked up and there’s no other option in this quest it has to happen. Curie deserved better.

Danse- Another character that had a lot of potential. At first I thought he was a jackass from the Brotherhood, which he is, at first. When I first played the game I avoided him but I found his quest online and had to continue the brotherhood questline just to find out what happened to him.

He finds out he’s a synth, the things that the brotherhood are trying to destroy, and his entire life basically falls apart. He runs away at first but then he realizes someone will find him and just stays in this base waiting for someone to kill him. When you find him it’s a genuinely emotional scene and you actually get a choice on whether to kill him or not. 

However after the quest this good writing ends because other than his talks with you he continues to act like he’s a paladin in the Brotherhood. & if you do his quest but then go on to another faction’s side and kill destroy the brotherhood he ceases to be your companion and will glitch out and the game registers him as a regular settler but he doesn’t have the lines. To my knowledge this has never been patched and I really hope it isn’t intentional.

Deacon- Another companion with no personal quest, so I’ll go more into his backstory. His wife died which is new and original of course. But anyway he works for the railroad to make up for being in a gang that hatedsynths (and also killed his wife who was apparently a synth). He actually feels guilty for his past and joined the railroad as a means of redemption.

All this is a good basis for a character but it doesn’t really go anywhere. He’s a liar too but again this goes no where. He tells the player character he trusts them after a time but we never figure out his real name so who knows if he does or not because he’s prone to lying. He has some interesting dialogue around the Commonwealth but other than that there’s not much to him.

Dogmeat- This character is the most vile, the worst, morally corrupt character in the game. No jk. I do gotta say it’s confusing that there’s pure bred dogs in the post apocalypse. Whos breeding german shepards around here?

Hancock- I know everyone loves him but. He’s so poorly written. If he cares about his people so much why are they living on the streets while he gets a whole building to himself? Bethesda really didn’t know how to make him what they wanted him to be. Sure there’s little law in Goodneighbor, but he lets gangs take over the back allies and it isn’t even mentioned in game. He’s just confusing as a character, his backstory is a little interesting, but I think a lot more could be done with it. 

I don’t care about his asshole brother and neither does he apparently, since he never does anything about Diamond City like I thought he would and the bad blood between them is mentioned about twice the whole game. His whole ghoulification is also ignorable to him, and isn’t used for much.

Robert MacCready- He has a dead wife and a dying son so he gets bonus Todd points. The only reason he’s in the Commonwealth is to find a cure for his son. You do help him find this, so at least they wrapped up this plot point. The reason he doesn’t leave the Commonwealth right away is because you become good friends and I honestly think that’s sweet. Unfortunately he’s still a dick. Not as big of an ass as in 3 but I still don’t really like him. And why does he yell “Tunnel Snakes Rule!”? sometimes when he goes into combat? It doesn’t seem like the Tunnel Snakes really became a thing after fallout 3 and it’s just super forced. 

He used to run with the Gunners, who are just a generic raider group but with better armor pretty much. He doesn’t give us much insight into them and we just kill off some of them who were looking for him because it’ll get them off his ass? apparently. This quest also bleeds into him finding a cure for his son’s mysterious illness, but the two events are pretty much unrelated.

I feel like his character could have been really good since he knew the brotherhood from back home but he rarely talks about them and really he’s disappointing more than anything.

Nick Valentine- Hoo boy do I have unpopular opinions here. Nick is a waste of a character with a horrible character quest that really goes no where. We never find out why the institute abandoned him but I guess that’s in a DLC I never bought and just shows how lazy bethesda’s writing is. A quest involving the institute would be a million times better than the shitty quest we did get. His dialogue is mostly one-liners but he does seem to genuinely care about the main character, but he has no reason to which I guess could be good or bad. I do love his aesthetic, though. It’s 50s noire, which is what the theme of the game should be. 

Anyway, personal quest. You go on fetch quests to different police stations around the CommonWealth and kill whatever the heck’s infesting the place. It’s pretty boring other than learning about what happened to prewar gangsters. After that we find out these tapes are for, it turns out that there’s prewar gangster still alive and in a twist Nick doesn’t have a dead wife but a dead fiance to mix things up.

This revenge plot for Nick could have been great but they did absolutely everything wrong. So this gangster turned himself into a ghoul on purpose. Before the Great War. How did he know that a load of radiation would make him immortal? it’s never explained! And he locked himself in a bunker for over 200 years and he never left. You would think this would affect him somehow but he acts completely normal and acts only slightly annoyed two armed people broke into his bunker. And then you don’t even get a choice in the matter Nick just fuckin kills him and you leave the tunnel conveniently right where his fiance died. 

His whole companion quest is some of the worst writing I’ve ever seen in my life and I absolutely hate it and it makes me want to avoid Nick all together.

Piper Wright- She’s kinda boring. I like the set up they gave her but all her conflicts are never resolved at all. She doesn’t have a companion quest but she desperately needs one. I guess she sorta has one where she just asks about your character’s whole backstory and I think it’s funny you can just make shit up but she writes an article about it anyway. Her backstory is actually fantastic and gives really good reasons for her actions and her job. She has strong feelings that people deserve to know the truth and this gets her in trouble a lot. But as I said, none of it goes anywhere since she doesn’t have a companion quest and basically has no personality other than she gets in trouble.

I guess they ran out of time with her because I really think something was planned for her but got scrapped because of time.

Preston Garvey- I think he’s one of the best written ones. He has a strong sense of justice and is one of the few people who genuinely just want to do what’s right. I don’t know if it’s his voice actor but I like talking to him a lot. Bethesda really needed to add more minutemen characters because him spewing out a ton of side quests before you can actually talk to him is annoying. I wish we got a backstory for him other than being a minutemen and telling us their history. His romance is a lot better written than everyone else’s I think he does actually enjoy my character’s company.

Also I’m realy confused as to why he isn’t the general and your character is. I mean if they just didn’t call you general and he was nothing would change at all. Actually it would make more sense because he’s the one giving you orders.

Strong- uuuuuh don’t care super mutants have no personality in bethesda games skip

X6-88- I have to admit I rarely side with the institute so I haven’t seen X6 as much as the other companions. He’s very robotic, and he’s a courser but he’s just as bad in a fight as the rest of them. I don’t think he has a companion quest either. I can’t say much about him because Bethesda didn’t really do anything with him.

Anyway...they’re better than the fallout 3 companions but...that’s really not saying much because none of them had personalities.

[pod7]

Winter Anime* 2017 Lightning Review

*just the shows I watched of course

Shows included - ACCA: 13-ku Kansatsu-ka, Ai Mai Mi: Surgical Friends, Akiba’s Trip The Animation, All Out!!, BanG Dream!, Chain Chronicle, Chaos;Child, Demi-chan wa Kataritai, ElDLive, Fuuka, Gabriel Dropout, Gintama., Hand Shakers, Kemono Friends, Kobayashi-san chi no Maid Dragon, KonoSuba S2, Kuzu no Honkai, Little Witch Academia, Masamune-kun no Revenge, Minami Kamakura Koukou Joshi Jitensha-bu, Mori no Yousei: Kinoko no Musume, Nobunaga no Shinobi, Nyanko Days, One Room, Onihei, Piace: Watashi no Italian, Pokemon Sun & Moon, Sangatsu no Lion, Seiren, Spiritpact, Urara Meirochou, Youjo Senki

Settle in for some long reviews, and probably the worst reviewed season since I started doing this! Wow!

ACCA: 13-ku Kansatsu-ka It’s a MADhouse production, so I went in pretty sure I would like it. I was a bit wrong on my first impression; I thought it would be a man on the run type show, but it was actually a more nuanced, spy-that-doesn’t-know-he’s-a-spy type story. I liked the character design. It reminded me of some of the manga series in the “non-moe art” tag on Dynasty Scans. I was in love at first sight with Director General Mauve, voiced by Atsuko Tanaka (Motoko, Ghost in the Shell), and hoped she would play a bigger role than she actually did. I was completely taken off guard by Jean’s confession of his feelings for Grossular at the end, which Mauve had in common. If it had to be someone, I would have guessed it to be Niino, in the old ‘observer falls for subject’ cliche. Still, a welcome, and very low-key revelation that is certainly welcome. The music is really great in this series, especially the intro and outro themes. I would have like for some of the female cast members to have more to do; there were seemingly more women in the show, but they hardly ever had any relevancy. Also, a bit more action or urgency would have been nice. It felt towards the end like this would be called “the hipster’s anime”. Definitely recommended. 9/10

Ai Mai Mi: Surgical Friends Just as ridiculous as ever, though it had some oddly serious parts in some episodes as well. I am appreciating more and more the bit during the credits of each episode where an alpaca recounts an awkward tale of the life of the mangaka who writes AMM. I think the randomness is wearing thin now though. 7/10

Akiba’s Trip The Animation I had never played the game before so I didn’t really have any idea what this was about besides being located in Akihabara. It had a lot of parallels with Punch Line, which I noted in my first impression, just chock full of references and insider humor that I think ended up being lost on a lot of the Western viewers (including me, obviously.) I enjoy the first eight or so episodes, but right when most probably thought it got interesting, for me it was like I just couldn’t stand to watch it anymore. I ended up skimming through the last episodes, but honestly, unless you are REALLY into Akihabara as a culture or just otaku interests in general, I would pass on this show, sadly. Having to watch the idol performance more than once was torture. 6/10

All Out!! The not-so-subtle pattern that is emerging in my anime viewing habits, is that I will start a sport or game series, as soon as it becomes entirely focused on the sport or game itself, I lose interest almost immediately. The same unfortunately happened here; as soon as they hit training camp, it was like I was watching a completely different show, and just couldn’t stand to even skim through it at the end. They can’t all be winners, and even MADhouse can’t be perfect all the time. Dropped

BanG Dream! My first impression was pretty much right on the nose; this is literally what would happen if the people behind Love Live adapted K-On. The melodrama of Love Live with similar archetypes to K-On. Unfortunately, no super gorgeous teacher steps in to help, and instead of a school they have to save the local girls-only concert venue by playing a pop rock version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I wish I were kidding. Not horrible or offensive, but just felt like a phoned in effort from the waifu buffet factory. 6/10

Chain Chronicle Sadly I just kind of forgot this show was even on, even though it showed signs of promise, I just couldn’t bring myself to care enough to catch up on it. Dropped

Chaos;Child The edgiest of edge. It made me appreciate the GOOD parts of Occultic;Nine that much more. I might have watched more if the adaptation of the prequel (episode zero) wasn’t just about the most boring thing I’ve watched in years. Dropped

Demi-chan wa Kataritai Top 3 of the season. It definitely felt less wacky than the manga, but I was okay with that. Satou-sensei stole the show, but Machi held her own in my opinion. It was funny to see how fast people tried to turn on the show when Hikari made Machi’s body hug Sensei and he was embarrassed because her boobs pressed into him when he wasn’t expecting it. However with a certain maid being INCREDULOUS, that movement died out before the next episode even came out. It was a good adaptation, and I think may just be my “comfy” show of the season, though again, a certain maid gave it a run for it’s money there too. 9/10

ElDLive I stand by my previous Space Patrol Luluco comparison. It was silly for the sake of being silly, but tried to add various chuuni and action tropes in to spice it up. To be quite honest this was a bit of a stinker, and only watched it for Misuzu to see if she grew any over the season (she did, but just the tiniest bit.) 4/10

FUUKA This was basically KimiKiss Pure Rouge but flipped love interests and included music to make more money off of the property with. It doesn’t do anything new or interesting, and it wasn’t satisfying at all. Like even knowing that Fuuka would end up being the girl the protag had feelings for, I still thought that maybe, just maybe she would do SOMETHING endearing in the least, but no, she just kind of was a brat at all points. Everything was really pretty, but zero substance. 3/10

Gabriel Dropout I think I started reading the manga for this before reading Demi-chan or Maid Dragon, so it’s kind of a surprise that of those three, this felt like the weakest effort. Something was lost in translation to animation to take away the magic presented in print. It was still enjoyable, it just didn’t have the punch I was expecting it to have, and I don’t know if it’s the low key music or the voices or what. Calling it a disappointment is going too far for me, but I certainly thought it would be better. 7/10

Gintama. Top 3 of the season. Pretty much just the adaptation of a single story arc, but an important one. Also, a super kick-ass, pulls no punches season. Loved the hell out of this show before, but this took it to a whole new level. I mentioned in my first impression that the period was a bit scary, but I now see that it was more of an affirmative statement, “GINTAMA, period.” 10/10

Hand Shakers This was really bad. Like, it’s a known thing that this show is bad. It was excruciating to give this show three whole episodes, but I managed it somehow. As admirable as it is that they went out on a limb to make their own original series, that doesn’t save it from being an over-designed, poorly thought out mess of a show. Dropped

Kemono Friends I just want the record to show that I was on board with this show from the very beginning, whereas the MAL user score was as low as 4.2 at the start of the season. It’s the innocence of Serval mixed with the goofiness of the friends, rounded out by the mystery of Kaban that give this show it’s oomph. The character design is really great too. Basically what it boils down to is that this show has four or five things that the internet typically hates when it comes to an anime, yet somehow captured the hearts thousands, from 4chan to tumblr and everywhere in between. It’s hard to imagine this not getting a second season of some kind, whether it’s a continuation of this season or an adaptation of the manga. 9/10

Kobayashi-san chi no Maid Dragon Top 3 of the season. A loving relationship between two adult women, albeit each loves the other in a different way (or do they?) A nurturing and caring relationship between an office worker and a young girl she adopts on sight. A family unit of two moms and a daughter that works. A dragon woman with giant boobs teasing a young boy that meant to summon a demon. Well, okay that last one isn’t exactly the squeaky-cleanest thing to happy this season, but the people who demonize this show because of it are missing out on an other wise great and potentially important series. I was surprised to find this was a KyoAni series; they tend to work in a very specific style, so the fact that this turned out looking anything like the manga is a miracle of it’s own, I think. Once I knew it was KyoAni though, I could see their thumbprints everywhere; the suddenly very poignant moment with great lighting and super appropriate music is something they’ve managed to perfect almost to a fault (to where it feels forced), but the couple examples in this show just added to the already cute moment that was happening. I am writing this the week before the finale, which features the dreaded anime killer Big Boobs Loli, but having read what comes after her initial appearance, I think that, should this get a second season, people will understand her character once the story moves forward (though the big boobs thing is kind of ridiculous, admittedly.) A wonderful, lovely, heart-warming supernatural comedy. 10/10 highest recommendation

KonoSuba S2 I may get some flak for this, but I felt there was a noticeable drop in quality between seasons. The writing was still good, and the performances as always were hilarious, but the animation seemed to have worsened quite a lot. I haven’t read any BTS for this series but it seemed like some of the more involved shots were rushed. Darkness continues to steal the show for me, even though I know Megumin is everyone’s waifu. I think it’s because I tend to always gravitate towards the girl in a show like this that has the least chance of ending up with the protagonist (Nisekoi, Toradora, Zero no Tsukaima, etc.) Not bad by any means, but I’m concerned for a season three should it happen. 8.5/10

Kuzu no Honkai Despicable trash. Soap opera level characters with midnight softcore love scenes between teenagers, some of which are borderline rape at best. Not even the legit lesbian love interest could keep me watching this show, that should tell you everything. Five episodes makes about 90ish minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Dropped, avoid 

Little Witch Academia This didn’t quite get the hype I thought it would, but it still seems most people that watch it are enjoying it immensely. However, I feel like it may be losing steam a bit, which is worrisome since it still has 12 episodes left to go through. It’s a bit frustrating to watch sometimes as someone who watched the first two movies/OVA, waiting for things like Ursula to be revealed as Chariot, and for Akko to get to a respectable level of magic use, things like that. I do enjoy the extra development that Lotte and Sucy have gotten, and I hope it extends to Diana, Amanda and some of the more prominent girls too. Continues!

Masamune-kun no Revenge The show had a bit of a twist on the usual formula, but by the fifth or sixth episode it was pretty clear it was the same old contrived tsundere harem romance series. When the guy seems to have some redeeming qualities, I can stomach a show like that for the sake of decent characters and performances, but this just ended up being a chore to watch. Even the debut of a late game older woman/love interest’s retainer wasn’t enough to save the show for me. I can’t see myself tuning in to a second season of this without some kind of huge plot twist like a female rival that the love interest is actually interested in (ha ha HAHAHAH) 5/10

Minami Kamakura Koukou Joshi Jitensha-bu In my first impression of this show, I wondered if it would be as dumbed down as the previous season’s cycling anime whose name I’ve already forgotten. It is. It’s basically the same show but with more characters. Has a good, cute sensei, but also has generic foreign student trope character, which was insufferable because she was basically the same character as the foreigner in Akiba’s Trip. Dropped

Mori no Yousei: Kinoko no Musume The amateurish charm I thought I saw in the first episode of this show quickly dissolved into frustration. If it had been a high school clubs project, then I would have supported them whole heartedly, but this seems like a bad mobile game cash-in, and unfortunately it came out in a season that had a GREAT mobile game cash-in. Dropped

Nobunaga no Shinobi The first season ends, but the second season starts in like two weeks, so I’m tempted to not even include this, because it’s silly that it will be considered separate seasons. It’s a charming, and surprisingly bloody show about feudal Japan and for those that have studied the history of that time period, there are some great gags pertaining to certain figures not shown in the best of lights. 8/10

Nyanko Days Once again, this was just a cute fluff series that hopefully paves the way for Nukoduke. If you need a cuteness shot in the arm between heavy shows, this is a good choice. 8/10

One Room My hopes that they would keep the viewer genderless were dashed pretty quickly with a onsen episode early on, and then the sickening imouto arc in the middle. The final four episodes featuring the childhood friend chasing her dreams was the redeeming factor here, I would recommend just watching those episodes to be honest. 6/10

Onihei One of the better shows of the season. It has a different vibe to anything else on at the moment, probably because the source was originally published fifty years ago. There is very little that is lost in translation, and I think it plays well to the modern audience. There is a bit of a problem with character design, which @fucktsunderes pointed out to me, that because there’s more realism to it, some of the characters end up looking pretty similar. Actually, not just some, but a lot. To the point where I wasn’t sure if a character that died was a character that I liked or not until they showed up in a later episode. Other than that though, a great crime thriller action show. 9/10

Piace: Watashi no Italian After an incredible year of short form series in 2016, it’s an odd feeling to only have Piace as a stand out show this season. It was just the right about of silly and cute, while also being about food and food service. A highlight is the outro being sang by two different cast members each week, with the finale having everyone singing. 9/10

Pokemon Sun & Moon The most fun I’ve had watching pokemon since I was a kid, fantastic show. I am somehow even more in love with Japan’s Musashi than America’s Jesse. I am definitely on the Mao/Lillie ship. Also the only theme song this season that I listened to for every single episode, it is so awesome. Continues!

Sangatsu no Lion As I covered in my review for All Out, when a show has a game or sport in it, if it becomes too focused on that game or sport, I lose interest quicker than a hiccup. It’s a good show, but the shogi was just not the good part of the show for me. I enjoyed Rei’s interactions with his sister and the three Kawamoto girls the most of the whole season. It’s when the show felt the most alive and relatable to me. Not to mention Momo is just too darn cute. Shaft does cute very well, and also does cold depression very well, too. A spinoff with the Kawamotos as the star would be the ideal second season for me, but I will continue to watch just about anything Shaft decides to gift to us. 8/10

Seiren I should have dropped this show, but I didn’t for some reason. The middle arc was definitely the best, the epilogue was really cute too. Not really much to say about this series, it just kind of was there every week. One of those “each path of the romance vn is animated” shows, so your mileage may vary. 6/10

Spiritpact Yaoi bait adapted from a Chinese comic iirc. The main characters were both unbearable, and the way they treated the first significant female character in the show was gross, so I dropped this quicker than a hot rock. Dropped

Urara Meirochou Controversial opinion time: This show would have been better without Nono and Koume. They added nothing to the story that couldn’t have been done by either Kon or Chiya, and honestly the four girls thing is so over-done that I end up comparing it mentally to all the shows I’ve already seen before I even watch the first episode. The teacher and the... morals officer? Whatever Saku was stole the show, with some great late game performances from Kon’s mother. It was a cute show, and I’ll watch another season if it gets one, but I’d like it to be a bit more focused on the divining stuff going forward, or at least more focused on Kon and Chiya. 8/10

Youjo Senki Not really sure about this show. I spent the first half of the season mistakenly thinking it was glorying the third reich, but even after being corrected, I still didn’t really understand who I was meant to support or sympathize with. I end up rooting for Tanya a lot of the time because I understand a lot of the anti-theological sentiment she has, but I’m not sure that’s really the intent... Like in the last episode, we see the young daughter of the man who was killed by Tanya after encountering more than once enlisting in what is the equivalent of the American army. Rather than sympathy and compassion for what is obviously a scared young woman going for revenge, I felt pity, because I know far too many people in real life who FROG it up big time (that being ‘full relying on God’, btw) when any sort of hardship comes their way. I don’t really think I could watch a second season of this, it would have to be more than just ‘Tanya pushes back against Being X, BX recruits someone else, etc’, like, if Tanya went the whole season pushing back but never heard a peep out of BX, and started to wonder how much of it was just in her head, and began to doubt the things she remembered from her past life, that would be intriguing, but I don’t really see it heading that way. Also, not nearly enough Visha screen time for my taste. 7/10

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars       A Friend in Need

Well let’s see you at the main cast            who has friends?

    Obi-Wan           a “girlfriend,”.         and apparently no one else

     Anakin 

      Padme

         - Who          does have the one person who most prominently featured the word           “friend”

                -Clovis

   But he’s been gone           since..

     Ahsoka;   

I mean does         Barisse count

 Oh wait I forgot a CP3PO        and R2D2

  So our, candidates are generally down to,       Clovis, Barisse, the droids           (CP3PO & R2D2)                       Or an unknown character                      coming from under the table                          (Which is always                            on the table)

                   (Oh and Jar Jar Binks,  who I don’t think classifies as a        friend ?)

  Which is why none of the characters have it           “ In response”           (To quote)

          Oh

       Mandalore?

        O-             kay?             ...              A

         I’m not sure I get the        whole design    thing- 

   Still slightly nope-    about it         -      Con-tinuing          -            ?         -        Um        -      What?         -            Also   isn’t he supposed to be a       kid?

    Like           he was one of the better kid representations in the show  just barely scraping over the hump around that time..

    I’m taking a break from the live commentary         just to see how          this plays out;

   [Random stranger shows up without an invitation and irritates literally everyone yeah sure let them stay

     - no       invitation

    -no    explanation      needed-

   - Not         like           this         could            Quite-          literally            fu- 

         An-             Way,

         See,

Also,     Dear-    God      ,

  [Skip      button       used           at        nausuem]

      Yeah,  I couldn’t stand        that,

      [It just, didn’t-]

       ?

     They’re just escorting him back to his        ship

           ,right

    [Oh so yeah whatever happened to that kid considering his mother was dead and his father is informed to be dead,

         How is he               alive?

         [also I will give it that it is still staying within the margins of       reasonable          child behavior or just            decent enough that it stays under the radar,         Though it does get me nervous,

       [That or I’m just kind of numb to it,         Focus,]

    Also yeah       what was         expected to happen?              -

        -          Ok seriously       who gave the kid the order is though           (Okay who gave the kids the orders though because I’m               little sus.            Nothing serious        yet just a bit skittish,”

         Okay,

        Es-              Cape

          Oh gosh they’re doing the Boba Fett thing                  aren’t                    they?

            Sen-ator?

          Whoa, whoa                the fuck?                      .                   Dude                       is like 12.                     (16 maybe)

                    Like,                          No,

                     (Unless that was a bit      At his involvement in      politics,)

       Also what is up with his size when we last saw him he was a- l- significantly smaller and clearly a child

    [The scales          a little off       in that frame.

      Why,

       -

         X

       Whelp,     A war just broke out,               -           And Ahsoka       just dragged the Mandalorians           into a war,

        .

       Wha-

    (Also pardon     me but in the queen say something about        subtle ?)

      -          Whe-

     Co-rousant

     Also yeah the council is going to love that

       “ Hey cancel I found a separatist, can I keep it               ?”

            Re-               P-ublic.                 -                   Is he a spy?

          [Like yeah   admittedly that seems like a lot of work to go through,]

           Oh so yeah that was pretty good the expression,                 , stayed neutral and non-emotional

          Amen-               sty-

         W-ell

          That-      just came out of nowhere,

   .

   Pl-an

   Children don’t have plans,

   And adults don’t have         such un- even tone          -           -Gun

   Ah, you know literally nothing about him

   You had a five minute conversation while he just repeated        Pro-paganda,        And order        s-

   Talking points

     Also he’s a Sep-artist

   You don’t know he’s not a fighter        -         Well then you’ll      -starve-             -         The di-

       Okay seriously what was with that tone?

   Everything you’ve been through,

     Again, that’s teasing             If it’s             a child,

       And             adult?        (The context really         doesn’t support it)

        Okay, what is with the        eyes?

         Okay,            No,

         Children can’t do           outright emotion like that-               -                Certain things might cause an automated      reaction-               But       their face stays blank,                And, it doesn’t           reach their voice,

           Adults     well they have a lot even-er                  tone-

            They’re purposeful

             And this should have a lot more weight                 and the narr-a-tive treat them like equals

         [I’m            going               to               go                use                 the                 skip              button]

             cause       this is getting                    Hella                    quasi-

                Wait.

                 Okay...  

                 [Sk   ip]

       Like seriously this kid that should be dead like 50 things over because kids can only follow orders and at the mercy of adults

       If he’s an adult, A) Ahsoka may very well be an enabler,           And B) Narr-ative needs to get its tone right and treat them like      eq-uals

     Dude-            Movie          -          ?

    What?

   H-

   [I am at         6:30           Btw           (With the brief.            indication that he just knocked her out with some thing,)

            What??

[i’ve       talked       about         the         Evil          Child         trope;              it          needs            to          burn,]         Is-

        Mr.     Bontierre

       So yelling at an         in-nocent         child,

       Oh reasonable anger at                 a malicious adult,             (And an attack).           that likely could’ve been prevented,

           Be-cause yeah he stabbed her in the back

           But,

         (Malicious science is not something         I often            dabble in,)

           This works,

            W-

            Quasi my two least favorite things quasi      and the deathwatch,

          (I don’t even remember if there was a         con-           fron-          tation,              And they were assumed gone

       Or...

    Or, just a bunch of reenactors that like putting on their         helmets,

    (Or people with similar       helmet    designs,) 

    Like seriously that.          seemed very chill for people that have like this 

     blood vendetta against Jedi,

       -            Snoop

       How

     Where?

     Okay?

      Me

    Be-trothed

       Movie?

        What the fuck?

  [Like       ok just hold on a second though,

    That is a          child           [imp-       lied to be one the last time we saw this dude]

    -

    Either

       -         He’s not an         adult-

   As clear by the lack of        emotion(s)

      And just feckin everything

            Huh?

Okay,     no just no,

   “Old, “.         is more so the concern here,

   Like dude doesn’t talk            or act like an        adult..

    I-

    -

  Cele          brate  

(Are we sure these guys are deathwatch        they don’t seem to have the same          insignia,  or any            indication?

    Is every thug that hangs out in the woods          Wear         Ing            armor       deathwatch now?

    A-i

    Why, would he think that?

      A-g

   Ser-ious-ly that makes them no more assholes         than literally anyone else

      Like they’re not sentient,

      I’m more concerned with the asshole that program them to feel fear and general although human emotions

      Like if the practice robot I was            using         suddenly gave a scream of human like pain        I would stop immediately,

       Doesn’t matter if some asshole continue-d to             program it

             If there’s any indication,                  you stop

              Yeah you could say these guys are assholes              for practicing on it,

               (And yeah obviously don’t enable that shit,)

               Un-less,             it’s like an acting droid?

                 I don’t-

          Like don’t get me wrong the         “woman comment could’ve been kind of a dick move

        Actually, no          it totally was,           Because it was totally            un-wanted

          And                 No

      But.

   But literally everything else;

  Some reenacters just decided to set up in        a park, screw around with some effects droids,          And possibly            get drunk,             With one of them having a           history with Dooku

       (Like it’s one of the flaws with the Mandalorian arc            that I meant to bring up,                That it relies heavily on negative             ass-              ociation,  

             Aka, assuming that you assume the worst of a              situation,

             When in reality,                   no, people tend to be pretty positive and                assume    benefit of doubt,

               You’re really going to have to work at convincing me that these guys aren’t just your average brand of      asshol-ery             (Two/       Three               Times)

     Seriously,           Anakin, what the fuck

       (Or maybe just what the fuck at the scenario,

        Since Anakin probably didn’t know this would happen

          (Train-ed to detect distress in Ana-kin)

          And those guys didn’t know that it was trained to             detect distress...

           Still I really don’t like how they are por-tray-ing him as sentient in that moment

              (Semi-sentient)

               Also, how is he supposed to re-assemble anything he doesn’t really have arms

              Most of the things we’ve seen being able to be fixed by a        gear thing,

              And, yeah he can kind of pick up some things

            But I’m pretty sure this thing requires          bendable appendages,

           ?

         Okay, what’s with the hand maidens?

         When did deathwatch become         misogynistic?

        Also they’re adults,

        Kid-napp-               ed                -                 Ah, you’re still adults and could’ve you know stopped them at any             time,

          “Simple”

         No one’s less or more          intelligent than each other

          You both       produce the same amount of               energy-

          I’m really hoping they were going for simple as in they aren’t really interested in             materialistic                    .                     But the tone around these people leaves a lot to be                desired                       .                      and concerned about,

                 Trust easily

   Everyone         trusts easily       .          We’re humanity

     That’s kind of (our) thing,

     Making the world           a softer better              place.

         -

         Ah,

          ?.

          ?

          Ser-iously

    Also, wow is this several, miscommunications

     This is getting         pretty damn            boomer,

        Dead,

        -

        ?

      (Taken)

       They are people                not object           if they went          they went willingly

          (Assuming they are adults                 which is in                  worry-ing                    question,)

                 ?

                He                      re-

                  When they said         stole I thought they meant from like a village                     A few blocks over 

                  Like in the past,

                  But                      dude comes in like he just turned a corner,

                L-eave

    You can’t return            a fucking.         pe-rson,

    Oh that was nice-      though the tone awful-

   (But also still         you can’t return a person in like a              grocery bag

          O-i

        Bu-tchers

           Or this isn’t the   deathwatch          

          Or they are suffering from a serious bouts of         Clovis syndrome           (Or more so               reverse              Clovis              syndrome,                Like their actual first leader              whatever his name was,

            ?

           W-ell

           Ok, now that was just straight up murder

           Well,

         Dear fuck

        Also, this is why we assume accountability

       Also hey  that name after a very little       note,

       Great,

         Also his temperament seem to completely change,

        Went from prove yourself

         To ‘Welcome to the club buddy, ‘         with little regard,

         They kill people 

          fecking kills people

          Jedi-

           That was disgraceful

          Also I guess maybe he could’ve managed it if he fixed one thing at a time and I mean some of them had some functional with limbs and assumed fixed self capability

          -             Ai          Ght

        -

        “                ?

     Ok seriously what is with the          Tided up thing,

         Or literally,

           Ca                 -mp

          P-lease

          Honor

           He’s

            -  

         Jus-               tice

    Ok seriously what is with Ahsoka and       constantly getting her ass kicked,              And it’s portrayal as                 involuntary,

Seriously,         Hand to hand combat      shouldn’t be much of an issue for her          , either way-

  Well,     seriously     can’t she win a fight on her own-   ,merit

  Against a   boomer?

    ?

  So, they are tracked 

      Good

Why is she such an idiot this episode?

     Lux

Why is she so devastated?

  Why is he so   mature?

 Like either she should-

   Remove him from the bad situation being          an adult and         him a child

   -Who should have only orders and no initiative

  All she said was specked in adults decision and not be doing this,

  And the tone was down right      Con-    cerning-

    ?

  Ser-iously?

  No actually you were pretty un accountable for literally all the episode and then you somehow had to save her

     Be cause

   Pr-omise

  Oy, his tone needs to even        -er,

   *gag*

  Well that episode,

    Was disgusting,

     Downright                      Disturb-ing

         Due             To             It’s

        Lack of commitment to a           tone -           Going           quasi             During               a               romance

         With unfortunate implications either childify-ing an adult,               Over sexualizing a child,                Both of which                   aren’t a good look,

              On top of childify-                      ing an adult                      (woman)

*Believe      to be         accurate       identification               -                               (Several)

                        In                            Meta

   Using Quasi      tone, as        well as           Body    Lan-guage,         Portraying      No recognizable         emotion,         Befitting              of a         child              -            With the dialogue and plot generally indicating and supporting this disgusting and awful insinuation that any adult being is unable of holding them selves or others accountable, and is equal parts of       one (humanity)

               Or (complete)                        (Developed)                humanity in general

                              Coupled with slave     indications-                   (Bound       wrists)   Without the common decency of its     predecessor,         To acknowledge that          Ahsoka as an adult,           Shared no risk,        (And need not tole- rate.       outside of her own preference         and accountability)

     Showing no      self-awareness,

      And continuing the theme               into the chase                  scene              (Note you can have character      like such             play along with such scenario                   But it has to come with the              self-awareness said they are                   not in any danger                     (In universe)

   (Oh and a very forced and completely          Boomer message about not following the          crowd, that is terribly          botched, especially with what seems to be the positive influence              (Ahsoka)               Doing literally the exact thing,            Children not having the ability of              initiative,             And it not committing to adult)

     (And is essentially everything that I disliked about the Man-        dalorian arc;

                 The unaccountability          of the male leads,

                  With an extra bit of certain                         adult  childifi      -cation

                     And uncertain tone

                      (Which en-sures that if the disturbing and downright toxic message didn’t scare you off the complete lack of fun certainly will)

   (And   dis-   appointing)

                      and puts it right back to no live reactions

                      Because well this is essentially the bonus round of writer’s                          advice                          and                       “is it fun,”.                          There has to be some con-       sequence for submitting me to tox/                               Contin-uing to create                         tox long after it was excusable,

                      (Or had leniency,)

                      (Now having fully worn out as                           welcome

                                      Several episodes   -ago)