#the-colorblind-loser

[lexa-griffins]

Hey ! Two questions :

Will you/Did you ever post the fic in which Clarke is a boxer and Lexa her superior on ao3 ?

Also, kinda weird but, will you ever consider writing a gip Lexa and actress Clarke, both porn stars ?

Thanks a lot 😁

Hey!

So, with my masters and being at the lab and nigjt classes, I have had pretty much no time to write. I manage to give a longer answer to asks here and there but unfortunately I have not been writing anything, neither for my existing fics nor new fics :/ either way my ao3 name is Lexa_Griffins if you want to make sure you don't miss it when i do post it! :) I do plan on sitting down and writing it at least as a two shot at some point ☺️

As for the prompt, I think that would be fun! While I am alright writing g!p Lexa, I do not write her as a top - ever. But im thinking for these two up and coming porn actresses to come together (no pun intended) as a duo when a queer production studio calls them both in. Lexa has been dipping her toe into more partenered movies, where before she used to do mostly solo stuff, just her, a dildo that always looks too big to fit her ass and a bullet on her dick. Clarke on the other hand has been dubbed the bi strap queen, making movies with ghe damn thing always on her hips, fucking both men and women alike.

Clarke is one of Lexa's first on screen partners, filled with confidence while Lexa is filled with excitement, having hear nothing but great things about Clarke has an actress and as a scene partner. And I mean from the get go, not only is it obvious the chemistry they have, fucking like the camera isn't even there but also the way they /love/ to fuck each other. Not fully submissive, Lexa adds a teasing element to the role that Clarke responds to naturally, the script nothibg more than a suggestion for these two and the director lets them do their thing. Soon enough, they have movie after movie together, a fan favorite on all sides. And while Clarke continues with her other movies, Lexa seems happy to have found her little niche in the queer production company, between movies with Clarke and solo ones, even if Clarke will sometimes show up to the shoot of those, sometimes behind the scenes, other times participating as she urges Lexa on to fuck herself for her 🤭

I'm not sure if it would be exactly what you want, but I do think it would be a fun idea to write! 🥰

[bottom-lexa]

Can’t wait for the werewolf fic on ao3 😩

I started writing down the plan for it last night!!!

In the meantime here’s the babies

And here’s Clarke with two of them

[commanderlexaofthegrounders]

I need you to know that I think of between the sheets religiously everyday and have been for years now, it’s genuinely one of my favourite top 3 fics I’ve ever read

Hello! Thank you so much for letting me know. That's a story that people can enjoy. It was one of the first few attempts at writing for the fandom and it is very humbling to know that you like it that much.

Thank you very very much friend, hope you keep enjoying it for years to come :)

[michiiyann]

Joongdok Random AU Ideas

Joongdok shenanigans

Colorblind

Imagine both kdj and yjh are red-green color blind and one day hsy tries to put bright red lipstick on kdj and he’s like

“BUT I DONT WANT BROWN LIPS” and everyone is just like

“wut?” And he gets really confused.

Then Ysa is like

“Dokja-ssi, the lipstick is red…” and kdj is like

“no it’s not” and jhw is like

“wait, are you colorblind?” And kdj is like “No?”

And then yjh walks in and is like

“what’s wrong?” Cause everyone is just silently pondering kdj’s color blindness. Then kdj says

“Yoo Junghyuk-ah, Han Sooyeong’s lipstick is brown right?” And yjh is like

“yeah?” And all of Kimcom (the name for kdj’s group) is internally like “OMFG THEY’RE BOTH COLORBLINDDDD”

Read more ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Squid and Sunfish

Once upon a time, there was a little squid. The squid had no purpose in life, so it just drifted along with the current.

Until one day, it came across a sunfish. Strange, thought the squid. Usually sunfish don’t come down this deep.

He asked the sunfish what it was doing in the deep ocean. To which the sunfish replied

“I’m looking for a companion.”

The squid was confused. The only one this deep for miles was him.

He looked the sunfish up and down. Surely this guy wasn’t looking for him?

“Well there’s nobody else here but me,” said the squid.

“That’s fine,” said the sunfish.

The squid blinked. Did this stupid sunfish really not get it? He was a loser with no life! Why would this guys want /him/ as a companion.

The sunfish noticed the squid’s distress.

“If you don’t want a companion, there’s nothing I can do,” He said flatly.

As the sunfish swan away, the squid felt an aching in its heart. He realized, he didn’t want the sunfish to leave!

“Wait,” said the squid. The sunfish stopped.

“If you really aren’t bothered, I’ll be your companion.”

The squid couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. Him someone’s companion? Really? The sunfish turned around and smirked.

That annoying way sunfish do. “Knew it.” He said. And from then on. They lived as companions.

The end.

Department story YJH

What if Joongdok AU where Yoo Junghyuk works at A department store and Kim Dokja comes in as a single dad who has to fix his door handle. Except he has no clue how and has no mechanical knowledge.

When Yjh saw a man walk in with a little girl holding his hand he thought--nothing of it. People bring their kids places all the time. But when the man seemingly walked through every isle in a lost manner for what felt like hours, Yjh thought it might be time to step in.

Usually he’d let one of his coworkers handle helping costumers since he-- hated when people went to department stores not knowing what they needed.

Alas, it was a busy day and all of the other employees were helping equally lost customers.

Yjh approached the man when he heard the little girl say

“daddy, why don’t you just ask for help?”--To which the man replied,

“don’t worry sweetie daddy knows what he’s doing…” and went back to looking at shelves that clearly didn’t house what he needed.

“Can I help you with anything?” Said Yjh almost startling the man.

He noticed the small girl staring at her father clearly--waiting to see his response.

“Ah, yes… well… could you point me in the direction of the doorknobs?” Said the man.

Yjh had to hold in his sigh. Only because he had seen the man pass the doorknobs twice in his search.

“Right this way.” He said in the most polite voice he could--muster. He lead the man a couple of isles down.

“Thank you.” Said the man gratefully.

Yjh simply nodded and went back to walking around.

20 minutes later he happened to walk by the isle again, and to his complete and utter shock, the man was still standing there. Yjh walked up--to the man and asked him what the problem was.

“Oh haha, it’s just that… I don’t seem to know what doorknob I need….” The man let out an embarrassed chuckle.

Yjh had just about had it with him. Really, the amount of stress this man was causing him was unnatural.

Yjh tried asking him which model he currently had or if he needed a knew one. The man said he just needed to fix his old one but beyond that he just pretended to ponder. Yjh asked if he had a picture of his old one to which the man said

“ohhhh that’s what I forgot!” At that--Yjh snapped.

He quickly offered to buy one of each kind of doorknob for the man and personally come to his house and instal the one he needed. The man simply seemed taken aback by the offer and the forwardness.

Of course, who wouldn’t with an offer like that. They exchanged--numbers and the man introduced himself as Kim Dokja. Once he finally left, Yjh’s shift was over.

Yjh realized this man had been in the store for a total of 2 hours. As well as that, he had only been looking for a doorknob. A DOORKNOB FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Yjh took an angry shower and went straight to bed.

The next morning he went into work and after his shift bought exactly what he said he would. When his coworker Hsy asked what he was doing he ranted about the situation to her.

“Wow, you’re down bad” she joked to which Yjh replied to by walking--to his car and driving away.

He texted Kdj and got his address. When he arrived he rang the doorbell. For a while nobody answered. He was getting annoyed because Kdj had told him he was home over text. Then he heard a door open from the back and the sound of rickety wood.

He-turned towards the sound to see Kdj with a tree beach in his hair.

“Hey, sorry about that. The front doorknob is the one that’s broken so we can’t get in and out of it,” he explained.

Yjh felt a pang of pity for this poor man. Kdj gave him permission to forcefully pull-the door open to fix the knob. He did so without much of a struggle. When he saw the state the doorknob was in he wondered how Kdj could’ve let it get this bad.

He wondered how many times he had jammed the door in and out before it got so bad he just couldn’t anymore.

He fixed the doorknob, and when he went to leave Kdj stopped him.

“You know, you could stay and have dinner. It’s the least we can do for all the help you’ve given us.” He paused. “Even if it was out of spite,” he added.

Yjh’s ears went red. Had his reaction really been so obviously out--of frustration?

“You don’t have to though,” said Kdj when he saw Yjh’s hesitation. “No, I accept,” said Yjh curtly.

When he sat down and tried the food, safe to say, he was thoroughly disappointed. Along with knowing nothing of mechanics, he also could barely cook? Yjh’s pea-sized brain saw this as an obvious cry for help and he offered to cook for Kdj every weekend. Kdj at first said know but Yjh was very adamant about it.

Finally Kdj agreed out of the guise that he wanted his daughter Byoo to have better food. In reality he was touched that Yjh-would want to help so bad.

Fast forward a couple months and Yjh asks Kdj to go out.

Somehow, unknown to even Yjh himself, he had fallen for the man who he had met lost in a department store. Kdj agreed and they became boyfriends.

End

Shoe on the other foot

Joongdok Idea that Kdj has really Small feet and Yjh has normal/large feet and as a scenario penalty they have to swap shoes.

So while they’re fighting Kdj has to deal with big boots that keep slipping off and he keeps tripping and falling.

And on the other hand Yjh can’t feel his toes but at the same time is in constant pain.

Not to mention Kdj wears dress shoes so Yjh is having even more fun.

By the end of it Yjh just gets tired of Kdj faking so he just Carries him.

Pillows

What if Joongdok crack au where Kdj keeps buying decorative pillows and Yjh is losing his sitting spots

Yjh tries to sit on the couch but falls to the ground because there’s too many pillows on the couch.

Kdj: oh sorry let me move those^^

He throws them on an already humongous pile of other decorative pillows.

Yjh: why do you need so many??

Kdj: They make the house look nice

Yjh takes a look around the room and there’s piles and piles of pillows everywhere.

He gives Kdj a look of exasperation.

Kdj: well maybe we can put some in storage?

(I imagine this is on some kind of reality tv show and there’s a camera)

The camera cuts to Yjh gesturing violently to the tons of pillows in storage already.

Kdj: huh…

Then the scene switches to their bedroom and Yjh’s side of the bed is covered in pillows.

The camera cuts to one of those interview scenes

Yjh: I have 10% bed space left… I did the math

By the end of it they get Kdj help and he agrees to get rid of most of the pillows, begrudgingly. And Yjh can finally sit in his own house again.

The end scene is Yjh sitting in a couch and just smiling.

Pizza Hut vs Domnioes

Pizza Hut vs Domino’s but make it Joongdok

Also hsy is sys sister cause I need an adult

When lgy and sys decided to make the Domino’s and Pizza Hut in their local town call each other, they weren’t expecting it to blow up this much.

Or even in fact, kickstart a relationship It started as any other harmless little prank by kids would.

They grabbed two phones and had dialed the the two stores on them.

They snickered uncontrollably as the phones rang.

“Shhhhh- haha, shhhhhhhh” said lgy trying to contain his laughter.

“I know, I know,” sys was having an even harder time.

Brrrrr brrrrr brrrr.

“Hello? This is Pizza Hut what can I do for you?”

And

“Hello this is Dominos, what would you like”

Two men’s voices could be heard from the phones.

“What?” They both said in unison.

“This is dominos, you wanted to order a pizza?” Said the deeper gruffer voice.

“If I ordered something from you it definitely wouldn’t be pizza, heck, I’d be weary of a soda from you guys!” Said the other voice.

The other phone went silent. Then,

“Well that’s too bad cause that means you’re stuck with the stuff you people make… yeesh.”The other voice let out an obviously exaggerated gasp.

“How dare you? You know what, where’s your store??”

“123 west rd, and what’s /yours/“

Sys and lgy were dying laughing at this point, they had to go to the corner of the room.

“246 North st!” The other voice said harshly.

“You know what?” It continued, “meet me at 135 south blvd, I dare you!”

“We’ll get ready to be defeated!” Announced the other.

Then both calls hung up. Sys and lgy were silent for a momen before running into the other room.

“HSY!! CAN YOU DRIVE US TI 135 BLVD?? WE WANT TO SEE TWO GROWN MEN FIGHT!!” They said, in unison to the author who was trying to get her work done, now unsuccessfuly. Hsy looked at them seemingly to debate the pros and cons of granting their request.

However it wasn’t long before she gave in to her need to see grown men being idiots and she found herself driving. When they got there the pulled into a parking lot.

Nobody was there at first but then two men showed up.

One was a very plain looking man in a black button up and a Pizza Hut apron.

The other a very handsome man in a Dominos Apron.

“So you’re the apparently handsome man who thinks Domino’s sells pizza!” Shouted the plain looking one from about 20 ft away from the other.

“What do you mean, ‘sells pizza’ THATS WHAT WERE KNOWN FOR!” Bellowed the other from the same distance. “I wouldn’t call what you’re known for /pizza/!” The scrawny man taunted.

The handsomer man opened his mouth to reply but then paused.

“You- wait did you call me handsome earlier?” He asked befuddled.

The latter’s face went beet red. “W-well, yeah! Who wouldn’t,” he stuttered.”

The taller man seemed the think for a moment before stating,

“If you come to Domino’s we… /I/ could treat you a lot better than those guys at Pizza Hut.”

The other man seemed to short circuit for a moment. “B-but nobody out pizzas the Hut!” He said in a last ditch attempt to save his already fleeting dignity.

“Bet,” responded the other who then smirked devilishly.

Meanwhile lgy and sys were fighting over the left back window of the car for better view than the other. Hsy was simply enjoying the scene from the driver’s seat. They had their windows cracked slightly as to hear what was being said.

“10 bucks says they go out,” announced Hsy suddenly.

“I’ll take that bet! No way they’d go out!” Said Lgy. “Yeah! If you heard them on the phones you’d know!” Boasted Sys.

“We’ll just see,” mused Hsy.

Meanwhile in the parking lot, the men were at a standstill.

“What’s your name?” Said the skinnier man.

“Yjh, and yours?”

“Kdj”

“Well Kdj, you wanna come to the better pizza store and earn a date with me?” Said Yjh confidently.

Kdj let out a small “sure” and walked away.

Unfortunately he was so far away Yjh didn’t hear him.

“Well?!” He shouted

“I SAID SURE!” Kdj shouted back.

“GREAT! SEE YOU AT THE DOMINO’S BUILDING THIS SATURDAY”

“SEE YOU THEN!”

And just like that Lgy and Sys had orchestrated one of the best and most entertaining events of their little town.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Really long headcanon post for the stuff that I’ve posted on Wattpad :3

Massachusetts:

-Mans is my height, 5'6, and he hates being bullied about being the shortest of his brothers lmao

-Is twins with New Jersey, though Jersey makes fun of him cuz he's five minutes younger

-he has reddish brown shoulder-length wavy hair and hazel eyes

-mf is built like the Dwayne Johnson though he's just missing the height

-TRANSMASC MASS SUPREMACY 🛐🛐

-this man acts all tough until the cramps come along. Then he's dead.

-doctor of the statehouse, along with Texas. He deals with sickness/illness whilst Texas deals with injuries. Though he can do both cuz we love that.

-tried learning how to make flower crowns cuz NY would always make them for everyone when they were younger. He tried his best, and he's actually kinda okay at it, so him and any will just hang out and make flower crowns.

-^he has put a spell on every single flower crown that he's ever given or received so that they never shrivel up and die

-OCD, autism, and ADHD

-loves rock, metal, and punk music. Especially FFDP (THEY HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING THAT FRICKIN' GOOD LIKE WHAT-)

-friends with the OG13 (no dip Sherlock-), Maine, Texas, and Louisiana.

-REFUSES TO ADMIT HE HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR NEW YORK. EVEN IF HE'S ACTIVELY HUGGING HIM. HE WILL DENY IT TILL THE DAY HE DIES. HE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THIS DAMN KID.

-^the moment he met New York, he was filled with the urge to take him away from England immediately. He does pick favorite brothers btw. And it's New York.

-sharp lil canines like he's a friggin vampire smh

Sippi:

-he is a squishy boy and we love that <3 it just makes him better for cuddling

-he's not short, not tall, he's only 5'8.

-he's a pathetic loser tbh but we still love him

-sippi loves stuffed animals, but his favorite is a teddy bear that was given to him by New York (fun fact, teddy bears were invented in Brooklyn, and were named after the president that refused to shoot a bear!).

-he named it Mr. Cuddles, and it is the most beat up stuffed animal that he owns (as in, its ear had to be sewn back on, one of its eyes has been replaced by a button, and it has random stitches and patches all over) but he still loves it and cherishes it to this day.

-friends with (omg he has friends????) Texas, Louisiana, Florida, New York, South Carolina and Georgia

-yes yes he is but a cuddly marshmallow. Until you hurt someone he loves. Then you're dead.

-he SCREAMS whenever there's a bug. Strangely though, he likes ants, moths, and butterflies.

-mans is colorblind

-he doesn't like his squishy-ness and has tried to starve himself on numerous occasions :(

-I think that the fact that he's been owned by 3 different countries is grounds to give him abandonment issues right? Okay.

-if it weren't for his friends just simply existing, he would've been long gone by now. (same tho- I mean what?)

-I'm not gonna say he's hurt himself before, but I'm not gonna say he hasn't either 👁️👁️

-bro thinks that anybody he gets close to is gonna leave him :[

-if he gets hurt, he's not gonna bother telling anyone cuz he doesn't wanna feel like a failure for not being able to defend himself

Texas:

-this man is T A L L- he's 6'5 (not as tall as Alaska though so HA-)

-I imagine him to be very slim and fit, but he has a tiny bit of pudge around his lower stomach and hips and thighs.

-he LOVES animals so, so much. More than humans tbh.

-he has a horse (Ranger), 5 dogs (Rosco, Daisy, Cassy, Billie, and Maria. Rosco and Cassy are German Shepherds, Daisy and Billie are heelers, and Maria is a demonic chihuahua), 3 cats (Mittens, Sassy, and Milo), and 2 snakes (Spot and Harvey).

-^thats just at the statehouse. Back home, he has an animal sanctuary where he takes care of animals, takes them in, nurses them back to health, ect... It's very adorable and I love it.

-speaking of animals, he cannot, I repeat, CANNOT keep it together if an animal dies or gets hurt in a movie. Homeward Bound? Mans was not okay. Hachi? He wasn't ballin', he was bawling 😔.

-I BELIEVE IN TRANSMASC TEXAS SUPREMACY 🛐

-he still wears a binder cuz he doesn't trust the doctors to perform top surgery on him.

-ADHD for DAYS- don't give him an energy drink unless you want a 6'5 chihuahua on cocaine to be following you around.

-ADHD, autism, ocd, depression, anxiety, and ptsd. Idk if daddy issues counts, but he has those for sure.

-this bitch has fallen off of so many things that he no longer takes fall damage

-Mexico was such an asshole to poor Texas...... I wanna skin him alive :)

-Texas CANNOT handle someone raising their hand or voice at him. He can't. He will flinch and/or cry. Which he hates. Cuz he's supposed to have this reputation as the big strong Lone Star State.

-he has SH scars on his wrists, sides, and thighs. They vary from blade marks, to cigarette burns, to even scratches.

-he hates all of his scars so, so much and sees them as nothing but a sign of his weakness and inability to defend himself.

-Texas is also kinda insecure about the little bit of pudge on his lower belly, hips, and thighs. What makes it worse is that he can't really help it. Especially the stomach pudge cuz that's just where his uterus is. Does he know this? Yes. Is he still insecure? Yes.

-he often binds too long or forgets that he has his binder on until it's too late and there is severe bruising and even minor bleeding underneath the band. Along with breathing difficulties.

-^to make the breathing difficulties thing worse, he has asthma :)

——————

[trappedinafantasy37]

We have finally reached the climax of Act 2 and so much has happened!

Look at this loser on his knees, angrily accepting mercy!

Such fookin dorks! How the hell am I supposed to take them seriously when they go around doing shit like this?

Had a very constructive conversation with Ketheric. Apparently he doesn't like being shown mercy so he ran away from the fight. AGAIN!

"Waaah! My god abandoned me!" Join the fuckin club buddy!

Wonder if Minthara recognizes Daedra's face?

She definitely recognizes Orin's!

What an icon!

Love the faces she makes when she's talkin about world domination.

Shadowheart, being the dramatic bitch that she is, cut and dyed her hair. Too bad Minthara is colorblind and cannot tell that she and her girlfriend now have the same haircolor! Imagine going through all that trouble giving yourself a completely new hairstyle, hoping your girlfriend will like it, and she can't even tell what's different. I'd be bawling.

Finally! Only took me 30 hours! This dating simulator has no business having combat and existential conversations about gods and stuff.

Welp, just like that. Act 2 is over! Now onto Act 3. With Shadowheart having turned over a new leaf and abandoning Shar, who knows what kinda choices she's gonna make from now on. And who knows if Minthara is gonna approve of them. But, hey, Minthara loves her Shadowheart. No matter what the future holds, Minthara is loyal and devoted and intends to stand next to her girlfriend until the very end.

Here, another lesbian photo dump. I got a little trigger happy this act. I will not apologize!

<The Gauntlet of Shar | Beginning of Act 3>

The Story of Act 2

[mychemicalimagines]

Ray of Sunshine-Dwayne Hoover-Chapter 8/Finale

Summary: Seventeen-year-olds Dwayne Hoover and Tyler Walker (or Ty as she’s affectionately known in the Hoover house) have been best friends since they were born. His mom and her mom are best friends too, so they had every chance to be together. They only have each other and are madly in love. However, the other person doesn’t know about their friend’s feelings. Will a chaos filled trip to California for his little sister’s beauty pageant allow these feelings to surface and let the childhood friends become more or will the the inseparable duo keep them bottled inside, not wanting to risk that cherished friendship that’s always been a little more?

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI! Language, Talk of Underage Sex, Mentions of Attempted Suicide - not by Dwayne or OC, Fat Shaming of a Seven Year Old, Absent Parent, Death of Character - Not Dwayne or OC, ALL Warnings for the movie apply to this series!

Words: 4,819

TagList: Reblogged.

A/N: Here it is. The last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this! Leave Feedback in the comments, that will help me get other stuff out!

To be tagged in future stuff: Message Me, Comment, Submit an Ask, or Tag Yourself in my Bio

Third Person POV

Frank and Dwayne are sitting in chairs in the hallway, with Tyler sitting on her boyfriend’s lap. Since her left arm is around his shoulder, she’s playing with his hair while his arms are wrapped tightly around her waist, her right hand resting on his laced fingers. Frank is looking at a newspaper that was sitting on the table between the two chairs. 

He glances over at the couple before flipping the page. ‘The Surprise Best-Seller From America’s #1 Proust Scholar’ is the headline right above the picture of Larry Sugarman and his new book. He immediately closes the newspaper and tosses it on the table. He sighs to himself as he tries to relax in his chair. 

Two girls around the age of six run past them, giggling in their poofy dresses causing Dwayne to look up at his girlfriend then his uncle. He gently pats Tyler’s hip before speaking. 

“Let’s get outta here.”

She stands up from his lap and takes his hand, walking with him out of the area. After another little girl runs by him, Frank stands up and runs after his nephew and his girlfriend, not wanting to be in the hallway either. Together, the three of them walk out of the building and down to the beach that Richard brought up two days beforehand. 

Holding hands, Tyler swings them softly, enjoying the breeze that is hitting her face. Dwayne continues to think about their future while enjoying his girlfriend’s soft hand in his rough calloused one. His heart speeds up everytime he thinks of her being his girlfriend. In their seventeen years of life, he’s always dreamed of her saying yes, but he never thought it would happen.

Sure, it was in his plan, hell it was the majority of his plan, but it never believed it would come true. Maybe she’s right. They’ll find a way for him to continue his dream, despite his colorblind-ness. Without realizing, Frank had detoured them on the long wooden dock that overlooks the water. Dwayne lets go of her hand and leans against the railing in front of him, his chin now resting on his laced fingers. 

Tyler stands on one side of him with her head on his shoulder while Frank stands on the other, just staring into the water. Dwayne picks up his head from his hands and lays it on hers, relaxing for a moment. The trio is silent for a while until he speaks up.

 “Sometimes, I wish I could just sleep the next year until we’re eighteen. Just skip all this crap. The rest of high school and everything. Just skip it.”

“You heard of Marcel Proust?” Frank asks, putting his hands on the railing. 

“He’s the guy you teach.” He says, glancing at his uncle.

“Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent twenty years writing a book almost no one reads.” He says, causing the couple to giggle. “But he was also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway! He gets down to the end of his life, he looks back and decides that all the years he suffered - those were the best years of his life. Because they made him who he was. The years he was happy? Total waste. Didn’t learn anything…” He glances at them with a smile. “So if you sleep for the next year, think of all the suffering you’d miss. High school? High school’s your prime suffering years. Hell, you’d miss the first year of being with Miss Walker over there. Do you really want to miss that?!”

Dwayne lifts his head up and looks down at her with a grin. She blushes and looks up at him, curiously. 

“You’re right. I wouldn’t want to miss that.” He says, before kissing her forehead. 

He wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her into his side before looking at the water again. A million thoughts running through his head before he looks at his uncle. 

“You know what?” He says, causing Frank to look over as he pulls Tyler in closer. “Fuck beauty contests. It’s like life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work? Fuck that. And fuck the AirForce Academy. If I wanna fly, I’ll find a way to fly. You do what you love and fuck the rest.”

Frank looks at him, impressed by his small speech. Dwayne glances at him before looking down at Tyler.

“We’ll find a way for you to fly.” She whispers, looking up at him. 

He smiles at her softly.

“We’ll find a way for me to fly.” He repeats, kissing her head again.

“You know…” Frank speaks up. “I’m glad you’re talking again, Dwayne. You’re not nearly as stupid as you look.”

Tyler laughs, digging her face into her boyfriend’s side as he smiles at his uncle. Frank laughs and pats his shoulder.

“I’ll leave you two alone for a few minutes.” 

He turns around and starts walking back to the other end of the dock, enjoying the view. Tyler turns in her boyfriend’s arms and leans against the railing in front of him. A smile appears on her face as his arms let her go and rest on the railing on either side of her, his own smile widening. 

“I haven’t heard your voice in six months. I almost forgot what you sounded like.” She states, looking into his eyes. “I missed it.” 

“You know…That wasn’t the first thing that I wanted you to hear when the vow finally came to an end.” He says, watching her.

“What was it going to be?” She tilts her head slightly confused. 

He licks his lips and sighs softly, looking deep into her eyes. “That I love you, which I do.”

Her eyes widens slightly. “You love me?”

“Yeah. When I wrote you that note yesterday, I didn’t want to seem weird for saying it too early, so I was going to save it for when I finally got into the AirForce. But then…” He pauses for a moment. “Well, you were there. And we practically haven’t left each other’s side in seventeen years. Kinda hard for me not to love everything about you.”

She blushes, a smile growing on her face. “You really wanted that to be the first thing I heard in a year?”

“Yeah. I’d thought it would be…romantic.” He shrugs slightly, nervous.

She stands straight off the railing and wraps her arms around his neck, forcing him to lean down slightly. Standing on her tiptoes, she presses her lips against his. Somewhat shocked, he kisses her back happily, resting his hands on her hips. Their mouths move in sync, still getting used to kissing each other - well kissing in general. 

Needing air, they pull away and pant softly, looking into each other's eyes.

“I love you, too, Dwayne.” She whispers. 

“Really?” He grins at her. 

“I knew for sure I loved you when you made me this bracelet.” She answers, removing her arm from his neck to show him the leather on her wrist.

“You were the only one I thought of when I was told to make it.” He admits, blushing slightly. 

“Well, I’m glad.” She leans up again, pressing her lips to his. 

He squeezes her hips slightly, holding her close until they pull away once again.

“I love you.” He whispers, smiling softly. 

“I love you, too.” She presses another quick kiss to his lips. 

“Come on.” He pats her hip. “We should go back inside.”

“Fineee…” She playfully whines before taking his hand. 

He chuckles and walks with her to the end of the dock where Frank is patiently waiting. As they walk across the beach, wanting to keep the mood upbeat, Tyler starts picking on her boyfriend.

“Frank, did you know that when Dwayne was eight…” 

He immediately covers her mouth, shaking his head. 

“Nope. Nope. I know what story you’re going to tell.” 

“Come on, Dwayne. I want to hear this story!” Frank grins, looking over at the happy couple. 

“Nope…”

Before he can finish his thought, Tyler maneuvers out of his arms and gently pushes Frank to the side away from him.

“Anyway! When he was eight, he got a piece of his airplane model…”

Dwayne grabs her around the waist and picks her up, gently throwing her over his shoulder. 

“Put me down!” She laughs, holding onto his belt.

“No! You’re not telling him that story!” He shakes his head, a grin on his face as he walks. 

“Frank! Can you hear me?!” She playfully yells out to the older man walking behind them.

“Yeah, Ty! I can hear you!” He calls out, cupping his mouth as he smiles, despite being only a few feet behind. 

“Anyway! He got…”

“No!” Dwayne laughs, putting her down. 

She crosses her arms and pouts, seeing that they’re in front of the hotel. 

“You’re lucky we're back.” She grins as she walks into the building. 

Frank looks over at his nephew, his smile never leaving his face. 

“What happened when you were eight?”

Dwayne sighs and shakes his head. “I got a piece of the airplane motel stuck up my nose because I wanted to see if it would fit…”

His uncle bites his lip, trying not to laugh. “Is it still up there?”

“No.” He rolls his eyes, mumbling, “Tyler put some pepper under my nose. I sneezed and it shot across the room. It stuck to the wall…”

Frank starts laughing before covering his mouth to stop himself. Dwayne playfully glares at him, a small grin appearing before walking inside. He jumps slightly, shocked to see his girlfriend leaning against the wall beside the door. 

“I knew you'd tell him.” She says before turning toward the staircase.

He gently smacks her butt causing her to squeal and look at him. 

“Get upstairs.” He grins and walks around her.

Finally making it to the auditorium where Olive will be performing, the trio opens the door and steps inside. Their eyes widened at the younger girl, caked in makeup, dancing on stage in a sparkly gold cowgirl outfit. Almost immediately, they rush out of the room shocked by what they have seen. Frank leans against the wall while the couple are slightly disgusted. 

How could parents let their kids do this or even encourage them? And, sorry to Olive, but there was no way they would pick her. She’s a normal seven year old girl. She’s got a little meat on her bones while all these girls barely have any fat on their BMI. Olive does this for fun. It seems like these girls do it for the competition. 

They can’t let her go on. She can’t be judged for being who she is! 

“We’re going backstage.” Tyler says, grabbing her boyfriend’s arm and walking in the direction she remembers Olive going. 

“Right. See ya.”

As they walk, they pass a woman with a headset on who is escorting another little girl down the hallway. 

“Are you authorized to be backstage?” She asks, looking up at Dwayne.

“No.” He states, not giving her a single glance as he holds his girlfriend’s hand.

All around them are little girls crying, whining or lolling about. All their mothers are over-dressed as if they were the ones competing on that stage. There is a little girl standing with her friend as they walk around a corner. 

“Hey, where are the dressing rooms?” Dwayne asks her, never stopping their walk.

“Are you allowed to be here?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Just tell us where the dressing rooms are.” Tyler rolls her eyes.

The girl never answers so they keep walking until they see a sign. She pulls him in that direction, finally reaching their destination. He stands straighter, looking for his mom before gently tugging her toward them. Standing a few feet away from Olive, Sheryl and Richard are talking. They approach and Sheryl smiles at them.

“How you feeling?” She asks him.

“Better. Where’s Olive?”

“She’s there. What’s the matter?” She glances between her son and husband.

Tyler, knowing this is a family matter, walks over to Olive, who is wearing black pants, a white button down shirt with a black vest over it with a red tie, her gold sparkly converse on her feet. She kneels down next to her, rubbing her arm as she squats. 

“Nervous?” She smiles.

“A little.” She admits, looking up at her, unofficially, adopted sister. “What if I’m not good enough?”

“Olive, you’ve been working so hard.” She moves a piece of long hair out of her face. “Grandpa taught you everything you know about this routine. We’re so proud of you for coming this far. It’s scary because all these girls have been doing this for years. But I…” She pauses, knowing she doesn’t want the young girl to be judged for the way she looks. “I believe in you as long as you believe in yourself. Do you?”

The young girl thinks to herself for a moment and nods, looking up at her again. 

“Then I believe you can do this. Just promise me something?” Tyler grins at her. 

“What?” She asks, innocently.

“When you become famous, you don’t forget me. Because I’ll always be your number one fan.” She smiles.

“Really?” Olive’s eyes light up. 

“Always! Even if you decide you want to own a cow farm in the middle of nowhere. I’ll be cheering you on.” She giggles, causing the young girl to smile widely. “Here. Let me do something to your hair.”

She sits straighter as Tyler stands up from her kneeling position. She grabs the hairbrush and starts brushing the top of her hair back, being mindful of the athletic headband. 

“Olive Hoover? Are you the family?” The lady with the headset from earlier calls out. 

Tyler ignores her and puts Olive’s hair into a half updo, braiding the long hair falling from it. She grabs a hair tie just as Sheryl, Richard and Dwayne approach them. As she starts tying off the braid, Sheryl kneels down with a small smile. 

“Thanks, Ty.” She then looks at her daughter. “Olive, it’s time. Okay?”

She nods slightly, letting Tyler finish her hair. 

“We gotta go now.” The lady says, bouncing in her spot. 

“Hold on. Olive, look at me.” Sheryl says, softly. “If you don’t want to do this, that’s okay. If you want to sit this one out, it’s totally fine by us. We’re proud of you anyway.”

The young girl thinks to herself for a moment, ignoring the lady with the headset as she tries to rush them. She then takes off her glasses and puts her top hat on. She stands up and looks up at Tyler who has a smile on her face. The older teenager puts her thumbs up, silently encouraging her. 

“Thanks, Ty.” She smiles, silently informing her that her words helped her decision before taking the assistant's hand. 

They begin to walk away and her family watches nervously. They watch as she gets smaller and smaller.

“Good luck, honey!” Sheryl calls out.

They rush out of the hallway and to the auditorium, where Frank is waiting outside. Wanting to make it to their seats to see the young girl, they run toward the door.

“Is she going on?” Frank asks, running up to them as Sheryl opens the door. 

“She’s going on.” Dwayne says, following his family.

“Yeah.” Richard says at the exact same time as his stepson. 

The five of them rush to their seats, just as the current contestant leaves the stage. Moving to their seats Dwayne, Tyler, Frank, Sheryl then Richard sit down in that order. 

“You’ve been a patient audience tonight! We have one more contestant and then we’ll be crowning our winner! Please give a warm welcome to…” The host says, pulling out a cue card from his pocket. “Miss Olive Hoover!”

The audience starts clapping, but half of them don’t care so they’re half-assed. The young girl slowly steps into the spotlight, glancing around for her family. When she spots them, she looks at the host, waving him over. 

“What’s wrong?” He whispers but she gently tilts the microphone to her mouth. 

“I’d like to dedicate this to my Grandpa, who showed me these moves…” She trails off. 

“Awe! That’s sweet! Is he here? Where’s your Grandpa right now?” He asks, holding the microphone out.

“In the trunk of our car.” She admits, causing the host to laugh nervously, not understanding. 

The room is completely silent while the Hoover family glances around, hoping no one would question her statement. 

“Okay…Well take it away, Olive!” The host says, rushing off the stage. 

She turns away from the audience and waits for the music to start playing. Over the speakers, Super Freak by Rick James starts playing. Tyler’s eyes widen slightly as she glances at her boyfriend who is very confused. Olive starts dancing, putting her hands in the air. Just as the lyrics start, she begins to spank herself as she wiggles her butt. 

Frank nods his head, laughing to himself in disbelief. They should have realized ahead of time that Grandpa was the one that taught her how to dance so it had to be some kind of outrageous routine. Olive turns around and tosses her hat toward the host before she starts walking toward the audience. 

Almost immediately with the beat, she tears her pants off, revealing red shorts. Her family’s eyes widened, realizing what Grandpa had indeed taught her. He taught her to strip as her routine.

“Is she?” Tyler whispers to Dwayne as she watches. 

“Yep…”

She glances around the audience and bites her lip at the only one enjoying this. Miss California is dancing to herself, smiling, excited for Olive’s dancing skills. They decide to just let Olive…be Olive. She’s having fun and she’s smiling up a storm. How can they take this away from her? Some girls get up and start walking out of the auditorium, angering Dwayne and Tyler.      

This seven year old is having fun just being herself and they’re going to leave? What the hell? People start yelling insults at the young girl who continues to dance, confused. 

“What are they doing?” Frank asks, angrily. “I’ll kill them.”

Wanting his niece to feel better, he stands up and begins to clap to the beat of the music. At this moment, Olive takes off her tie and rips off her shirt, revealing a black tank top, continuing her dance. Richard stands up and begins to clap with his brother-in-law, knowing his daughter is having fun. Sheryl stands up and starts clapping, following her husband’s involvement. 

Tyler, smiling to herself, stands up and dances to herself, excited about the random turn that this trip had taken. Dwayne also leaves his seat, and starts throwing his fist in the air, dancing along as well. Embarrassed and angry, Ms. Jenkins stands up from the judges table and walks over to Richard and Sheryl. 

“What is your daughter doing?” 

Richard grins and continues to clap. “She’s kicking ass - is what she’s doing.”

Ms. Jenkins did not like his answer. She walks straight over to Kirby, who is manning the sound booth, dancing slightly. 

“Turn it off!” She yells at him. 

“What?”  

“Turn the music off!”

“What?” He yells back, pretending not to hear her and turns the music up. 

The audience is split. Some mothers and daughters are leaving, not wanting to watch the seven year old dance, while others like Miss California and a Biker are bobbing their heads, enjoying the show. Ms. Jenkins walks straight to the host and demands him to get off the stage. 

“Hey! Don’t you touch her!” He yells before rushing to the stage.

Sheryl gasps and covers her mouth, moving toward the aisle. Frank and Dwayne, who gently pushed past his girlfriend, rush to each side of the stage to be there in case Richard gets overtaken. Richard leaps on the stage as the host tries to grab Olive’s arm. He jumps on his back and practically piggy-back rides him until they get to the side of the stage. 

“Keep dancing, honey!” He calls out to his daughter who is slightly frightened. 

She glances toward her mother and Tyler who are both standing in the aisle with smiles on their faces. She continues her routine, still nervous. Richard disentangles himself from the host and shrugs off stagehands, watching his daughter dance. 

“Get your daughter off the stage now!” Ms. Jenkins snaps. “I will not have her ruin my show!”

He hesitates and nods, understanding where she’s coming from. He sighs and starts walking  onto the stage, calling her name. Olive continues to dance but looks up at her father confused. He then glances toward the judge who is staring at him. Not wanting to hurt his daughter’s feelings, he grins to himself and puts his hands behind his head, flapping them.

He’s dancing! Tyler and Sheryl start laughing as they realize what’s going on. He’s not getting her off the stage! On his face is a large, defiant, fuck-you smile as he looks at Ms. Jenkins as he continues to dance with his daughter. Enjoying this new kind of Richard, Frank jumps onto the stage and starts dancing as well, smirking at the angry lady at the side of the stage. 

Following his uncle’s lead, Dwayne jumps onto the stage. He looks at his girlfriend before putting his fists out and thrusting his hips, a serious yet funny look on his face.

Tyler and Sheryl laugh even harder at the sight before them as Kirby turns the music all the way up to ten. Her mother figure looks at her with a wide smile. 

“Come on.”

“Me too?” Tyler raises an eyebrow, slightly confused. 

“You’re family, aren’t you?” Sheryl grins.

She then grabs the teenager's arm before they both run to the stage, running straight toward Olive who is smiling widely at them. Together, the six of them dance to the music in random and embarrassing ways. Dwayne even grabs his girlfriend’s hand and twirls her around in a circle before dipping her, both laughing. 

Suddenly the rest of the family, including Olive, hold hands, forming a circle around the couple, as they begin to jump around. Soon the music comes to an end and the family is laughing until they realize the room is almost completely silent. They look around, nervously until Miss California and Kirby, along with random audience members clap for their performance. 

They giggle slightly before smiling as the biker that Richard talked with earlier that afternoon stands up. 

“Yeah!!” He throws his hands up. “Alright!!!”

Turns out Ms. Jenkins called the police. The family are sitting outside the hotel office, embarrassed. Sheryl and Tyler are looking around the hallway while Richard, Frank and Dwayne are staring down at the floor. Olive is still in her costume, swinging her legs, still not understanding what happened. While they wait for the officer to talk to Ms. Jenkins, Tyler elbows Sheryl, capturing her attention. 

The older woman looks down at her, raising an eyebrow. Tilting her head, Tyler gestures discreetly toward a box sitting on a table a few feet away. Inside are pageant materials - trophies, sashes, and tiaras. Both females smirk at one another, a plan forming in their minds. A few seconds later, the office door opens and the officer walks out, putting his hands on his hips. 

“Okay, you’re out. On the condition that you never enter your daughter in a beauty pageant in the state of California again.” He glances between each family member. “Ever.”

Frank nods and looks toward his sister, “I think we can live with that…”

Sheryl shakes her head in disbelief but nods. “Alright.”

He lets them stand but turns away, not catching Tyler grabbing something from the box on the table. They all walk out to the bus, bags in their hands. Richard had fixed the door earlier than he called the funeral home so it’s attached to the car once again. He opens the trunk and everyone notices that Grandpa is gone, leaving only the hospital sheet. 

“Olive…” Richard says, folding it up. “Grandpa would’ve been really proud of you.”

“Yeah! You were great!” Sheryl says, kissing her head. 

“You were beyond great.” Frank continues, smiling. 

“You were incredible.” Dwayne says, grinning as he helps put the bags in the trunk.

“You were the best one there!” Tyler says, kneeling in front of her. “Which is why…”

She pulls out the item she stole from the beauty pageant box. A tiara. Olive gasps loudly and covers her mouth. Richard, Frank and Dwayne are shocked by the item in her hand but Sheryl and Tyler are grinning up a storm, their plan complete. 

“Ty! Where did you get that?” The seven year old asks, looking at her.

“I told you I believed in you as long as you believe in yourself. And you did so your mom and I decided to do something special for you, knowing you should have won.” She says, not telling her the truth that they stole it. 

“Thank you!!” She throws her arms around the teenager’s neck, hugging her tight.

She laughs and hugs her, pressing a kiss against her temple. 

“Come on, Miss Hoover…” Tyler says, putting the tiara on her head. “Your chariot awaits!”

Once again, they all are forced to push the bus since there is no hill. Richard climbs in first with Olive jumping in a second later, scooting to the window as she makes sure her tiara is on her head. Laughing, Sheryl runs and jumps in, always loving the adrenaline. As the bus rolls, they start approaching another toll booth where Ms. Jenkins is handing over her pass. 

Frank jumps into the seat next to Olive without Dwayne's help. Tyler laughs and runs around the bus, grabbing onto her boyfriend’s uncle’s hands as he helps her into the bus. Just before they hit Ms. Jenkin’s car, Dwayne jumps in and Richard drives the bus around the toll building into the opposite toll gate bar, breaking it into pieces. 

The family laughs at the look at the woman’s face as they drive by. They all calm down, still smiling at the day's events. Everything started off shitty with Grandpa passing away and them stealing his body but ended with the family finally coming together as one. Richard realized that his family is way more important than his stupid Nine Steps. 

Frank realized that he does have someone who cares about him. His own family who he didn’t see for years. The young teenagers are finally together and are happily in love. Olive and Sheryl are almost the same, just happy that everything is amazing. On their ride to the next hotel, Richard glances in the rearview mirror to see Dwayne with his arm around Tyler’s shoulder as they look out the side window. 

“Dwayne, Ty, I don’t want grandkids yet. So if you two are going to continue to sleep in the same bed, be careful.”

Their faces immediately turn beat red, blushing at his words, knowing they're not ready for that stage in their relationship yet.

“Richard!” Sheryl laughs. “They’re only been together for a day! Let them enjoy their relationship before you start talking about grandkids. Besides, Frank is going to be in the room!”

“He won’t always be there!” He laughs, glancing back at the kids who are hiding their faces in embarrassment but they’re still smiling. 

“Wait!” Olive turns around to look at her brother and his girlfriend. “You’re dating?!”

Dwayne nods, grinning down at Tyler who looks up at him. He leans down and kisses her head, holding her close to him. 

“Now, who wants ice cream?” Richard glances into the rearview mirror.

The next day, the Hoover family are home, relaxing after their adventure. Frank is in the living room with Olive, helping her come up with a different routine she could do for a pageant. Sheryl is helping Richard find an actual job so he can stop all these ‘get rich quick’ scams. Tyler and Dwayne are in his bedroom - the door wide open - as they read together. 

He’s up leaning against the headboard, reading a book that his girlfriend had on the windowsill. Tyler is laying between his legs with her head against his chest, reading her own book. His fingers are running through her hair as he looks away from his book. He grins to himself, happy that Frank helped him gain the courage to ask her out. 

“I love you.” He whispers, watching her.

She looks up, a smile appearing on her face. “I love you too, Dwayne.”

He leans down and kisses her forehead, holding her close to him as he looks back at his book, content with his life now.

[kirshimadenkisero]

things my friends have said, a collection (ft a couple quotes from shows/games) ((credits to my best friend for compiling them for me))

for privacy reasons i’ve censored the names

“Haha suck it (random name)!” (not entirely sure where this one came from so i’m guessing they’re talking about someone they know??)

“Smells like sour cream depression”

“I’m busy being gay”

“Birbs get bitches”

“Yes. I kill joe Biden”

“You simply have less value”

“You are a coffee bean”

“I will go full frog mode on your bitchass-“

“I don’t know how to eat abbles-“

(PS: he was eating a fukin pear 😀)

“WAIT- GERMAN SHEPHERDS ARE GERMAN?!”

(offers grapes) “Sure, as long as they aren’t grape flavored”

“I’m a bitch and I’m a stitch”

“My brother is immune to getting r a n o v e r b y c a r s . . .”

“He now look like a wet rat and smell like cucumber”

“Tao Su looks like British Justin Bieber”

“#LockedUpForLife”

“He put his heart and soul into that dance”

“DO I HEAR A FUCKING MICROWAVE???”

“merry birthing”

“You stole kids candy, prepare to meet Jesus”

“Material gworl💅✨🏳️‍🌈”

“I bet it was the Shrek DVD…”

“I now know what I’m gonna get you for Christmas… t h e r a p y”

“the lake is thirsty…”

“IS STEVEN JESUS?!?!”

“where did his child go???”

“You are a spineless pretzel-“

“ŠTÄÇŸ MØVË!!!”

“Hey is that plane outside my window getting bigger???”

“Kneecaps gone. Insurance? Gieco.”

“Hippty Hoppity, get off my property”

“Are you getting your clothes from the back of Spencer’s??”

“My second wish would be a Mary Poppins bag full of fresh garlic bread”

“THERE COULD ONLY BE ONE!!”

“Mice and vanilla deer fries”

“DONALD DUCK IS THAT YOU?!!?!”

“Was that a deer??”

“Steve what are you doing here?? WHY ARE YOU IN MY LUNCHBOX-“

“I’m here to sell your kidneys”

“I ŁÏVĘ ĪÑ THË WÆTĖR!”

“Excuse me. That’s my front lawn you’re talking to.”

“I DONT KNOW I CANT COUNT 🥲”

“Why don’t I have no fingers…. (friend), did you steal my fingers again???”

“That notification sound sounded delicious. Absolutely exquisite 🤌🏽”

“Is water wet???”

“Water is crazy, you can boil in it, you can drown in it, yet we need it to survive”

“That just sounded like my sisters spine at 3:00AM 💀”

“THERES POISONOUS SKUNKS. THEY’RE MULTIPLYING AAAAAAAA”

“It’s supposed to be hot cocoa but it’s looks

s u s s y-“

“2020 part 4”

“YUO MAMMA’D YOUR LAST MIA”

“Bestie, I love you but calm down about the raisins 😀”

“I'm not alive🧍🏻‍♀️”

“Bro got sent to the shadow realm-“

“Quickly, hide the stock before the landlord finds us!!”

“Make the taxidermy dance...”

“Philza, you haven’t been collecting my wood have you?”

“ITS PHILZA MINECRAFT!! HES IN MY MINECRAFT SERVER!!!”

“I DONT KNOW, GRAB A BROWNIE OR SOMETHING.”

“What the fuck is a Spinosaurus, a dinosaur with a spine???”

“Oh, it’s weed boy”

“Hippity hops, ima call the cops 😀”

“Be right back, gotta go walk my fish-“

“WHY IS THE DOOR WALKING??”

“I gotta go fold the dishes”

“You just haven’t mastered the spoon yet”

“He wouldn’t know, he’s a pencil 😄”

“Do you see the screen? Are you sure you aren’t deaf-“

“That wasn’t powder on that donut…”

“NAPOLEON III IS A PATHETIC IDIOT WHO GETS NO BITCHES”

“My sister just brought me a penguin, and it threw up crayons”

“He’s a closeted American”

“You ain’t scared of the ocean until you see a t-posing squid”

“Ah women”

“Did Youtube find out I was religious???”

“Where’s my 15% off you rip off midget dinosaur”

“It would be funny if he choked and died” (i would like to mention this was said by my friend’s teacher)

“Don’t come to the circus tomorrow Ragatha”

“No, you aren’t a loser, you’re just colorblind”

“BOMBBB-“

“Call me a triple A battery, cause I have Anxiety, ADHD, and Autism!!”

“Bro became a vacuum cleaner 😭”

“I HATE SPLASH MOUNTAINNN!1!1!!!1!!”

“Fuck it, we ball 🏀”

“IF I RUN FAST ENOUGH, THE VOICES CANT CATCH UP”

“RED ENVELOPE FROM GRANDMA!?!? THAT MEANS MONEY!!!”

“It’s called neighbors, we are allowed to have them”

“So what. He can eat spaghetti out of his eyes”

“she wishes a broken leg upon you”

“Me and my crayons can do this shit anymore”

“Swaggy animal cruelty”

“I will temporarily sue you and your family”

“Yeehaw that motherfucker”

“Oh wow, I just killed two people”

“Whitey Kitey is MAD”

“So imagine me trying to break human skin 🥰”

“John Doe is a he/him lesbian”

“He got them string cheese bangs”

“Alas, for this is an example of the pain I must go through with this curse of immortality. Though I may never have my final breath, the price is eternal suffering”

“Cause they’ll think you’re all German Nazis who are trying to do a poison delivery”

“His birthday is on April 1st. His birthday is a joke”

“I WILL BURN YOUR COOPERATION INTO THE GROUND IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO”

“IM GOING TO SKIN THE OWNER OF RITZ ALIVE”

“A woman, in her late thirties, wearing a school issued swimsuit. Worst of all, she was rocking it” - Rae Taylor

“Isn’t your life already crumbling apart”

“ITS A FORBIDDEN MIXTURE”

“IM ON THE PODIUMMMMM”

“WHAT IS THIS. I DONT SPEAK BAGUETTE”

“Peaceful yuri in the wild”

“Buddy, I’m in normal math. Compact math people are CRACKED-“

“I CAN SEE THE AUTISM IN HIS EYES”

“Bro looks both ways when he crosses the street unwillingly”

“I don’t care when you deliver them to me. Expiration dates don’t matter to me-“

“Friendship levels?? More like Yuri levels.”

“YOU BETTER FUCKING PRAY CEO OF MAX”

“Okay I admit it. I’m guilty of slave ownership”

“She sounds like a starving Victorian child 😭”

“Now go adventurer, and have this. A gun.”

“I will paper cut your eyes in your sleep”

“THEN IM GOING FOR THAT BITCHASS WHORE AUTOCORRECT”

“HER PANTS WOULD BE ON FIRE RIGHT NOWW”

“I just want to have a friendly conversation with him, me, and my gun”

“IM GONNA TURN THE OWNER OF CHICK-FIL-A INTO ROASTED CHICKEN”

“DUDE HES GOING THROUGH A MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND YOURE TALKING ABOUT TACOS”

“DAMNNIT BUBBLE I TOLD YOU THAT INVADING IRAQ WAS A BAD IDEA”

“If my dog doesn’t shut the fuck up after three strikes I will yell at her in less passive and more aggressive German.”

“Buenos días fuckboy”

“Wow, (friends name)-censorship”

“ITS NOT A PHASE MOM, BEING AN ORANGE EMO TRACK RUNNER IS MY PERSONALITY!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!”

“Oh my days, my Cheeto is turning into a cheese puff”

“I love my emo son”

“Listen, I’m not gay. That’s only on Thursdays”

“I just went up there for a bandaid and I got her toes?!!?!!”

“What did he do to deserve becoming a pretzel berry”

“I HATE YOU DREDNAW. YOU WILL BECOME AN ORPHAN ON THE STREETS”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he burned down a convenience store, but yeah he’s nice”

“No, it’s only a very late abortion”

“THIS IS WHY GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL”

“God damn it’s genetic 😨”

“It’s crustier than William Afton”

“Well, I’m gonna die anyway but red would be pretty cool”

“Not a gram of hetero blood in their veins”

“Oh the law? That’s not a thing”

“POLLINATE MY BROTHER IN HONEY”

“Do I look like I speak Beepanese?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not even legally allowed to have this-“

“He looks like if god sniffed a line of coke and then tried to recreate Squirtle from memory” (talking about chewtle)

[kurtsascot]

The Way You Look Tonight/NFDWAS

Cry

Loser Like Me

It’s Not Unusual

Colorblind

((Ngl u got some BANGERZ in there)

OOOOH interesting grouping !!!!

colorblind >>> its not unusual > cry >> the way you look tonight/nfdwas >>>>>> loser like me

[lexa-griffins]

I need that boxer au on AO3 so bad

☺️ I have a sort of first chapter planned in my mind, although i need to get the bullet points on paper before I even start writing anything unfortunately! 😅

[moratheexplorer]

(Oversharing warning)

So I was just thinking that my dad told me he suffered a lot in primary school because he was left-handed and colorblind and it was the fifties and they treated him like he was dumb or something was wrong with him, to the point to make him cry during breaks. And when he got appendicitis his only question was how long he would need to skip school and was so happy for it even if he was having a surgery.

And how my mom told me she suffered so much in school because she was considered a gifted child and was made to skip a grade, so she was always a year younger than her classmates who always made fun of her for being too young and treated her as less and wasn’t able to make any friends during school and felt so lonely, and this became worse when her classmates started to become teens because she was still a child and felt she never fit in.

But then when I was in high school I didn’t go to a school trip because I was extremely uncomfortable with my classmates and was scared of being bullied and was lonely and sad and felt there was something wrong with me, and I desperately asked my parents to let me skip school those three days my classmates were at the trip because going was completely pointless since teachers were not going to have class for only the three kids that stayed, and I was also going to be more alone than ever and in risk of being bullied by older kids for being the loser that didn’t go to the trip and they said no.

And years later when I asked them why they didn’t let me skip they told me I hadn’t been clear enough on why I wanted to skip those days, that I hadn’t give them a rational explanation or told them in great detail why I was suffering and not skipping was worsening my suffering and fuck everything you know? The only way to stop intergenerational trauma is to not have kids.

[besidesitstoowarm]

series 3 retrospective

martha jones. you were fantasic.

this season is like evenly split between half garbage and half genius. "blink" is easily one of the best episodes the show has ever put forth in 60 years; penis dalek. really nothing else to say there! sally sparrow and penis dalek. woag... the beauty of the world

i've said it in previous retrospectives but martha really got the short end of every single stick here. there were some HUGE shoes to fill in the first post-rose companion (even worse w catherine tate for the christmas special too!) and it's certainly not that i think freema agyeman can't fill them! i love martha! but the "colorblind" vibes of the casting really don't help. first black companion (sorry not counting mickey) and she's the doctor's rebound.

i'm not even sure what the solution is. i WANT to say that they could have the romantic aspect initially (they have some chemistry in "smith and jones") and maybe it would naturally peter out through the season? like she'd get to know him better and realize actually no thanks? "human nature" is kind of late in the season but it would be a really good environment for martha to go ACTUALLY i'm over your ass goodbye. idk i love her SO much but no matter what "first companion after rose" was ALWAYS going to be a hard sell, let alone "also romantically interested in the doctor" LET ALONE first black companion!! martha deserves better. in my mind she dates river.

i think the reason i love this season so much (besides martha my beloved martha) is that it suffers from "star wars prequels disorder" which is like, fantastic ideas hamfisted by a moron at the helm (also racism) like hooverville is a fantastic dw setting! understandable to modern audience but also thematically resonant. again i say this story makes more sense w cybermen than daleks BUT taking the "upgrade your abilities or die" and compounding it w the great depression is amazing!! bad story tho quite bad. "lazarus experiment" had so many points to make!! but the scorpion king was there. sad!

and of course. the goddamn master is here. again i must say, i KNOW they had crazy gay sex offscreen. this finale is easily my fave until s10 with the mondassion cybermen (<3 <3 <3). i honestly couldn't really explain why. the camp? the hobbit doctor and the world's worst cgi? whatever mental illness lucy saxon has they didn't explore? martha jones saving the world?? all of the above??

i really do love this season. for all the missteps, i do appreciate the work they DID put into miss martha jones and the weird relationship she had w the doctor. if it's true she returns for the 60th my dick is going to explode. there are some highkey BANGERS and some losers, which is always to be expected. i wish martha luck on completing her residency and look forward to DONNA NOBLE (and her granddad)

[the-halfling-prince]

fuck it, more Harlow Tumblr but post series

🐲 daily-dragon-facts

Did you know:

Amber-Winged Wyverns are more likely to be colorblind than any other dragon!

🐈 housecat-lookin-mf

Okay now I kinda wanna know how we know this. Did someone ask them lol

🐲 daily-dragon-facts

Yes.

#Dont question me again. #daily dragon facts

19 notes

🪕 battlebard

Callout post for @ fish-and-fear-monger

He's kinda cringe.

🔪 fish-and-fear-monger Follow

Me: Not another call-out post... Me: Oh it's just my loser sister

🪕 battlebard

ANOTHER???

#we love a problematic king? #Top Ten leaders of our archipelago. Yikes.

36 notes

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

Guys help I tripped on my cape today my gf thinks I'm a loser

🏹 careless-whisper

Sorry dude my gf has thought I was a loser since we met I can't help you

📜 mari-the-mari-lwyd

Skill issue I'm the coolest bitch my gf knows.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

MARI-ELIE???????

#at this point I need to change my URL to not just be my name because #people I know IRL keep finding my fucking tumblr #like y'all remember the uhhh my dad incident #anyway hey mari I hope u forgot about me tripping over my cape today

482 notes

🗡️ best-alavanikian-royalty

Propaganda:

Harlow: She's literally the king... Enough said.

Mari-Elie: She may not be an heir, or a chief, or a king... But consider: She's cooler than you. And also the main advisor to the king if that counts for anything.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

I can't believe this is even a competition. Guys. Mari-Elie sweep or I'm stepping down as ruler.

#marisweep

1264 notes

😎 deactivated10451218

Is it just me or is the king kinda... you know... fruity?? Like have you seen the way she looks at Advisor Jonson....

👩🏻‍🦰 just-daliah

I can't believe I have to say this but it's super not cool to speculate the sexualities of real people.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

Yeah I'm fruity✌️

🐄 trickstercow

Seriously? Someone on this Odin forsaken website basically forced the king to out herself? Yikes.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

Guys what.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

Can't come out when you were never in. Rainbow attack 🏳️‍🌈🌈🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈🌈

🐅 that-one-ginger-kid

Happy 3 years to this fuckin post 🤦

#like ngl I was confused when the situation first happened and everyone talked about it because I #deadass thought everyone knew???? #anyway Happy 'cant believe the king got outed' 'rainbow attack' day #fuck dude #tumblr holidays

8463 notes

📜 chief-stormrage

Everyone, I would like to officially announce my retirement as Chief of Drakenvel. The new chief is the talented Hagen Freyrson, and I hope you all treat him with respect.

🐈 housecat-lookin-mf

Thanks, sir. Anyway...

@ best-alavenikian-royalty any way we can add me to the polls?

#theres no way I'm beating marielie jonson but it's worth a shot

756 notes

📜 mari-the-mari-lwyd

Guys reminder that the Royal Alavenikian Library is open to everyone stop trying to sneak in you look dumb.

📔 drakenvellian-public-library

Nooo dude you're gonna put me out of a job.

📜 mari-the-mari-lwyd

Bro your island has five people and the only one who used the library lives here now if you still have that job now, I don't think it'll go away. Be fr.

🏹 careless-whisper

No because Inkwell Björnson has the best job security in alavenik, Harlow would sooner die than let the library close down 😂

#also Drakenvel has way more then five people. There's like... ten

85 notes

🪕 battlebard

"The average Alavenikian has one dragon" is a statistical error. The average Alavenikian has no dragons. Dragons Harlow, the king of the UnNamed Kingdom who befriends a hundred dragons daily is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

790278 notes

🍂 zamenwellwellwell

I wish I could get a cute farmer to date me :(

🐅 that-one-ginger-kid

Me too...

🐄 trickstercow

Hey

🐅 that-one-ginger-kid

Omg cute farmer girl

🍂 zamenwellwellwell

GET YOUR OWN POST

#the straights have hijacked my post :( #and by the straights I mean specifically those two. #'that one ginger kid' who even are you????? #... Actually that sounds disrespectful sorry Tiger sir. #sorry about that time you got tortured by that guy. Hope you and your farmer gf are happy.

23 notes

[afrowayfarer]

Tri-Layered Liberation: Juneteenth Thoughts

It is officially Juneteenth 2024. We are merely two slightly above-average lifetimes away from that glorious June 19th in Galveston, TX. In acknowledgement that the struggle for Black freedom, Black prosperity, and Black autonomy is still real, I feel compelled to share a few thoughts about the journey ahead to cross the threshold of an epoch as significant as the one leading from chattel slavery to relative freedom. The transition from relative freedom to authentic liberation will require breaking the chains of contemporary racial oppression, the whitened imagination, and collective internalized self-hatred.

In a social order that is dominated by the logic of capitalism and colorblind racial sentiments that paint an overly optimistic picture of racial progress, contemporary racial oppression is visible on several fronts. Four years after the George Floyd tragedy and the so-called racial reckoning, Congress hasn't passed anything to dissuade a police officer from kneeling on the neck of another Black man for however long they choose. Qualified immunity remains in full effect, providing cover for bad actors in police uniforms with no interest in protecting and serving all of the people.

In addition to the unfreedom of navigating around police officers who can kill you with no accountability are various efforts seemingly aimed to prevent Black people from establishing an economic base in this country. Whether it is the active disruption of venture capital going to Black women in a targeted manner, the hollowing out of affirmative action as a means of leveling the college admissions playing field, or the corporate commodification of single-family homes that turn starter homes conducive for wealth-building into rental properties, it is clear that Black people continue to face numerous obstacles in their quest for prosperity on par with White people who were provided a generational opportunity to build family wealth.

It is not too much of a logical leap to connect the continued struggle for Black freedom and prosperity to the whitened imagination of Black people holding sway in this country. Relative to the average White household, Black households continue to be well behind with respect to income and far behind when it comes to wealth. The relative position of Black people in everyday social life with respect to occupation, neighborhood, and other social sites, coincides with a social logic that idealizes the level of equal opportunity that exists in society. This combination that marries deeply limited social perspectives with conscience-soothing social sentiments renders Black people as social losers in the game of life that have lost on their own merit. This sentiment is further deepened by the collective refusal to teach an accurate history of Black people's journey both after and before 1619 and in how Black people are culturally represented through media platforms.

A group of people who are considered social losers, without a history worth telling, and viewed as the embodiment of baser human qualities cease to be people with 'rights which White people are bound to respect.' Sadly, this inhumane sentiment is surely the rallying cry of too many White people in this nation. It echoes through efforts to curtail the power of the Black vote. It echoes through the lack of mutual respect that characterizes everyday interactions across racial lines. It echoes through the high water mark of legal precedent where racial discrimination must be proven on the basis of intention rather than on the basis of material outcomes that can be clearly seen through basic statistical analyses.

Any and all efforts dedicated to elevating the social station and human dignity of Black people to the point where our human rights will be readily respected, must be complimented by our efforts to be better to ourselves as people who share a history of social marginalization. We should be more publicly supportive of each other, and less publicly critical. Overall, we should be more loving and more forgiving of each other and we should do what we can within legal limits to make it much less comfortable for those who share our skin tone yet are eager and willing to sell us out to those who wish ill on the Black majority. We should also seek more balance in how we represent Black romantic relationships. We must highlight healthy Black relationships alongside the less healthy relationships that may yield higher entertainment value. And, as always, we must put the holistic health of our children and youth, first, and respect the wisdom of our elders.

Forgive the length of this missive. It's been a while, and I felt the need to say something to commemorate Juneteenth 2024.

Sending love, light, and peace.

Stay Blessed.

[sandyspaghettibag]

Androgyne

It is so hard to be me because I'm a boy who likes gay boys in a straight way while liking girls in a gay way. I want to be a cute boy but "cute" in the way that people see girls. When I wear suits I want it to look slightly jarring like how people see girls who wear suits: different but undeniably cute either way. I obviously don't like to be fucked with but I miss having a lighter voice before puberty so I can come off as gentle and tender as I feel on the inside. I miss being sixteen because I had an excuse to be unfortunate with people reciprocating my love, an absolutely HOPLESS romantic, I identify so much with that age too because I was overwhelmed with love and heartbreak and youthful innocence like never before.

I know I'm not trans because I don't have gender dysphoria (other than socially) and I don't identify with the word "girl" at all, I love being a "boy". Maybe feeling like a man will come later down the road in my life. At the same time, as I become increasingly more obsessed with fashion for the first time in my life, the fashion I'm so incredibly drawn to is overwhelmingly tailored for girls, and it's not even aggressively feminine either. I'm too far into the "I don't know if I want to kiss her or be her" feeling when I see a girl. I want to dress in women's clothing, but calling it "women's clothing" just doesn't sound right to me. Like, I'm not a fucking woman!

I think I'm less attracted to girl/womanhood as I am to vulnerability and innocence. Part of the reason I'm hesitant to FINALLY dress like I'm not colorblind is because part of this innocence and vulnerability is being a total fucking loser who nobody will ever love, dressed in the saddest clothes you've ever seen but still getting by on the romantic high of this guy who could pull him up to solid ground with just a kiss. And I IDENTIFY WITH THAT 💀

[madmaxxing]

on the bg3 disabled post line, like. aiy'igs cult is a bunch of disabled losers. i rly just wanted to take the concept of the conventional malign lovecraftian cult and turn it inside out

the goddess in question is of love and fertility, she also has a very big area of charm influence she does not control

99% the culties are people who had a lot of bad shit happen to them in their previous life and for the most part chose to join this as a chance to have a do-over on a blank slate (this is mostly dm's work) and the bodies they come back into are ever so slightly off. nosith is completely colorblind, anemone is so flimsy her skeleton is floating in her body... i try to suggest traits to the dm that'd come from the fish each is based off of

they also all suffer amnesia from their previous life. each experiences life uniquely from other culties and yet for the most part they're a big family that does their best to thrive. ofc they have some creepier more culty members (nosith & thesisa) but for the most part they mind their business