#then the middle ground of being mad he has to roleplay

[k1ngj0ve]

concept: Dethklok gets into DnD

They like the words 'dungeons and dragons' for their own reasons, and are disappointed to learn its a math game, but more excited when they realize its a storytelling game with big battles. They start out excited to find out they can just mega-murder anyone they want, get briefly annoyed when they realize that they need to roleplay talking to people to learn about cool items needed to kill big stuff

this is interspersed through the episode with whatever big important thing they are SUPPOSED to be focusing on, but all they wanna do is play the game, at some points excited and at other points irritated by it

the episode ends with them like fully and 100% locked into the story aspect of it, having a wedding and getting cute sweet happy endings that they love and are obsessed with

Also?

Toki is the DM

[blackbozo]

TW: Vent Post.

Hey so uhm.. This is a vent post so if you don't wanna see that, keep scrolling.

I don't really know where to really.. begin with this. But basically, I'm just tired.

I feel tired, I feel dead inside most of the time when I'm alone. I feel like a husk. I'm so tired of going to school, where I get bullied pretty much all the time.

It's not that I hate my school. The teachers are nice, my friends are nice but.. it doesn't really do much.

Most of my school year so far has been just filled with being bullied.

At this point, most days there's only one thing that keeps me going. Not my friends or family, but someone very, very special to me.

And.. it's gotten really bad lately, this "relationship" I have with this person. I love him so, so damn much. Late September I confessed my feelings to him.

He doesn't feel the same.

And I haven't really.. accepted that. I've been.. really creepy. I do things to him I don't do to anyone else.. I say things to him that I don't say to anyone else.

And I'm scared, for him. I'm scared he'll get so tired of me and my bullshit that he'll block me. And I honestly wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I've developed extremely terrible attachment issues to this person. We met on Wattpad and just talked. I didn't see his face, he didn't see mind. We bonded over fictional crushes and fan-fiction.. and it was great and fine and normal.. Except I wasn't normal. I liked him back then.. a lot.

But then he disappeared. For 10 months.

10. Months. I suffered without him.

The whole reason I'm making this post is so I don't really say this to him, cause I don't want him to feel bad, or hate me. He left unwillingly.

He wrote smut and his parents found out and they grounded him.

But I thought he left because of me. That I was too creepy, too weird, too clingy. I thought he died. And.. I thought I was gonna move on, but nope. Early September he came back, and said he had moved to tumblr, here.

That's the whole reason I made this account, to talk to him.

To be friends again.

And it's been fine. We've been roleplaying a lot in our dms, but we always did what I wanted, which he got upset over because it wasn't fair. I didn't blame him.

But.. I thought he hated me. I thought he was gonna block me.

Some nights I would cry when he'd go offline for the night, others I'd just do something else.

But that night, I selfharmed. It was the third time I had over him. Not because I was mad at him, I was mad at myself.

I still feel like I deserved it, like it should've done something really bad, but I didn't.

I'm not okay without him, and I won't be okay without him.

Some days in the middle of school I think how he could just.. die. And I'd have no idea. He could just poof and be gone forever.

I still cry about that thought sometimes.

It doesn't help with my dad fucking sucking.

He makes me miserable. I get he's a single dad with anger issues, but he's not even trying to stop sometimes.

He smokes marijuana, which isn't terrible, but it's extremely illegal in our state.

My mom's alive, but she can't take care of me. I have a half brother and half sister, both of which are older than me.

They recently got evicted and I'm still worried about them.

And I feel unwanted by her. and by my siblings. I've tried so many damn times to just hangout and talk.

Y'know, be a family despite their situation.

I'm not asking for money either by the way, it's just what's going on.

I feel like a damn screw up all the time, like my entire family hates me. My friends hate me. My whole school hates me.

I hate myself.

I hate being alive, I hate everything and everyone, I just never say anything, because one, they'd yell at me, and two they'd be hurt. Because my feelings are invalid until I say something about them that's negative.

And I also live with my grandma. I love her, but she's been fucking driving me insane. I've had to help her with pretty much everything lately, and I get screamed at and called an asshole if I don't drop everything to help her in the next 10 seconds. And then she goes to her room and cries and I always have to apologize, even if I didn't even do anything.

And there's another thing.

I feel like I can't do a single damn thing without being judged.

Who I like, what I like, whatever.

What I eat, how I sleep, the stuff I watch.

The things I enjoy.

It's all judged and frowned apon by fucking everyone. They say they like me, but they don't fucking show it.

I'm so damn done being a people pleaser for everyone, but then if I'm not everyone hates me.

I can't control anything either. I know I'm still a child but I'm almost 13. My dad treats me like my input doesn't matter at all.

He's been trying to convince me to move out, when we don't have to.

He just wants to get away from my grandma, which is fair sometimes, but it's still mean.

He makes me feel like I don't matter, like I'm not a person. He's told me that basically my input doesn't matter cause I'm a child.

I'm so damn tired of everything and everyone.

I'm tired.

[thebreakfastgenie]

None of this is all or nothing, of course. I want to clarify that before going on. For example -- your standalone post about rainbow marketing is a prime example. I would prefer to live in a world with rainbow marketing than a world where it is so objectionable to be queer that it cannot be spoken about publicly; and with modern capitalism being what it is, I don't object to the queer community being a part of that. And sometimes, being marketed to is fun. Sometimes I like to buy rainbows. However, remember when Disney used a queer TV show to advertise Disney Plus, and then relegated that TV show to Hulu because it wasn't "family friendly"? (I know this was a couple years ago, but it's the best example I could think of on the fly - given time to think I am sure I could come up with a more recent example.) That's the kind of thing that makes me at best roll my eyes out of my head and at worst kind of mad and I'm not even particularly invested in that particular TV show and personally probably would not have watched it.

As far as it goes, some of the same things apply to the discussions about slurs. I know you said you do not assume a stranger's identity unless there's very clear contextual details that you should - which is generally good advice, but also has nuance. Like, for example, if someone is making a post about their blorbo being a [slur] there's no way to tell if the OP is part of that community themselves, but if the post is more along the lines of '[slurs] like us' I think it's fair to assume that OP is part of the community, and there's middle ground between those two things.

This is an extremely, extremely niche example but I play a tabletop roleplaying game that was written in the late 90s/early 2000s and has some "edgy" content including a character known as "The [Slur]". I remember discussing this with a friend (both he and I a part of that community) and saying that even though I knew it was "problematic" I have a lot of affection for this character. (But would generally not say so publicly, because I know not everyone would agree). His response really clarified a few things for me about why I felt that way, which was "If I could get a group of people to call me The [Slur] I probably would. THE? You bet your ass I am!"

To address one of your other points; I have personally experienced both d*ke and f*ggot as homophobic slurs and do not see that big a gap between them. However, for full context, I also grew up in a place and time where the three letter short form for the f slur was a general part of common parlance as a slang term for a different thing, and though also occasionally used as a gay slur, there was another gay slur to refer to queer men that was more commonly in use.

It's World Pride at the moment and there are events with titles including words that are often used as slurs. Some of these (like Queer) because as you note, they also have a significant and storied history in academia; others in reclaiming contexts.

All of this together means it rubs me the wrong way a little bit when you say that you think d*ke is okay but f*ggot is not because you perceive one as more homophobic than the other because of your own personal experiences. That's completely fine in the sense that I am not asking you to personally be comfortable with a slur; however, it feels a little like assuming your experiences are more universal and correct than mine.

This post got very long and because I was touching on a lot of different points it feels a little disjointed when reading back over it so if you are unsure about something I have said I would ask that you please say so and not assume the worst. I am again trying to engage in a good faith discussion so if it feels like I have lost the plot a little bit in trying to get my thoughts across, it is purely because I have a lot to say and a limited character limit for expressing it.

I don't have the time to engage with everything right now, but I wasn't saying dyke is okay and f*ggot isn't because I have personally experienced them differently. I was, again, speaking about context. I don't think a black and white okay/not okay dichotomy is productive or functional. However, my default is "assume it is not okay to use slurs and particularly to call people slurs until proven otherwise."

I'm also not comfortable with "blorbo is a [slur]" in most cases but that is a personal comfort level thing. In my experience it's nearly always based on stereotypes and while I'm not saying jokes about that are never fun, I'm just usually not very comfortable with it, especially on the public internet.

[myfanwymusings]

TAYLOR SWIFT / FEARLESS (TAYLOR’S VERSION)

These lyrics are from Taylor Swift’s 2021 re-recording of her 2008 sophomore album, Fearless. These lyrics may be modified to better fit roleplay purposes. Please note: every track from the new album has been included, except Love Story (Elvira Remix) and Forever & Always (Piano Version) due to their lyrics being duplicates of lyrics already in the album elsewhere.

FEARLESS

There's something 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained

I'm trying so hard not to get caught up

You're just so cool

I don't know how it gets better than this

With you I'd dance In a storm in my best dress

I wanna stay right here

I'm not usually this way

You pull me in and I'm a little more brave

FIFTEEN

Take a deep breath and walk through the doors

Try to stay out of everybody's way

You know, I haven't seen you around before

When you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them

When someone tells you they love you, you’re going to believe them

We'll be outta here as soon as we can

All you wanted was to be wanted

All I wanted was to be wanted

Back then, I swore I was gonna marry him someday

I realized some bigger dreams of mine 

I've found time can heal most anything 

I didn't know who I was supposed to be

I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen  

LOVE STORY

We were both young when I first saw you

Hello

Stay away from Juliet

I’m begging you, please don't go

Please don't go.

Take me somewhere we can be alone

All there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It’s a love story, baby just say yes.

Baby, just say yes.

We're dead if they knew

They're trying to tell me how to feel 

This love is difficult, but it’s real

Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess

I got tired of waiting 

My faith in you is fading

I’ve been so alone

I keep waiting for you but you never come

Is this in my head?

I don’t know what to think

Marry me, Juliet

You’ll never have to be alone

I love you, and that’s all I really know

I talked to your dad

Go pick out a white dress

HEY STEPHEN

I know looks can be deceiving

I know I saw a light in you

I didn't say half the things I wanted to 

You might have me believing I don't always have to be alone

I can't help it if you look like an angel 

I wanna kiss you in the rain 

Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you 

I can't help it if there's no one else

I can’t help myself

I've been holding back this feeling, so I got some things to say to you

I never seen nobody shine the way you do 

I've seen it all, so I thought

I think you and I should stay the same

Why aren't you here tonight?

I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose

All those other girls, well, they're beautiful but would they write a song for you?

WHITE HORSE

Say you're sorry

That face of an angel comes out just when you need it to 

I honestly believed in you

This ain't a fairytale 

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down 

Maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes 

I didn't know to be in love that you had to fight to have the upper hand 

I had so many dreams about you and me 

I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well 

YOU BELONG WITH ME

She's going off about something that you said

She doesn't get your humor like I do 

What you're looking for has been here the whole time 

Why can't you see that you belong with me?

I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be 

You've got a smile that could light up this whole town 

Hey, isn't this easy? 

You say you're fine but I know you better than that 

I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night 

All this time how could you not know?

Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me?

BREATHE (FEAT. COLBIE CALLAIT)

None of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

It's killing me to see you go after all this time

I don't know what to be without you around

We know it's never simple

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand 

I can't breathe without you, but I have to

I never wanted this, I never wanna see you hurt

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out 

It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend

TELL ME WHY

You might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not

You took a swing, I took it hard

Down here from the ground I see who you are

I'm sick and tired of your attitude

I'm feeling like I don't know you

You tell me that you love me, then cut me down 

You know you got a mean streak

I remember what you said last night

I know, that you see, what you're doing to me 

You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day

I'm sick and tired of your reasons

I got no one to believe in

You tell me that you want me, then push me around

Why do you have to make me feel small?

Why do you have to put down my dreams?

YOU’RE NOT SORRY

I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down

It's taken me this long, baby, but I've figured you out

You're thinking we'll be fine again, but not this time around

You don't have to call anymore 

This is the last straw 

I don't wanna hurt anymore

You can tell me that you're sorry but I don't believe you, baby, like I did before

You're not sorry

I might believe you if I didn't know

I could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold 

You've got your share of secrets and I'm tired of being last to know

You used to shine so bright, but I watched all of it fade

THE WAY I LOVED YOU

I couldn't ask for anything better

You look beautiful tonight

I feel perfectly fine 

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

It's 2AM and I'm cursing your name 

I never knew I could feel that much 

You're so in love that you acted insane

He can't see the smile I'm faking

My heart's not breaking cause I'm not feeling anything at all

FOREVER & ALWAYS

Were you just kidding?

I don't feel welcome anymore

Baby, what happened? 

He still hasn't called

You feel so low you can't feel nothing at all

I was there when you said forever and always 

Was I out of line? 

Did I say something way too honest?

I thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure 

Where is this going?

Did you forget everything?

I don’t think so

You didn't mean it

THE BEST DAY

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall

You're not scared of anything at all

I know I had the best day with you today

How my friends could be so mean?

I don't know who I'm going to talk to now at school 

I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger 

You're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

I know you were on my side even when I was wrong

I didn't know if you knew

CHANGE

I believe in whatever you do

I'll do anything to see it through 

These things will change

Can you feel it now? 

These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down

The time will come for us to finally win

So we've been outnumbered, raided, and now cornered

It's hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair

We're getting stronger

They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared

There's something in your eyes says we can beat this 

We never gave in

JUMP THEN FALL

I like the way you sound in the morning

Your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard

All I can think is we should be together

Don't be afraid to jump then fall

I'm never gonna leave you 

I'll catch you 

The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry 

I'll hold you through the night until you smile

Every time you smile, I smile

Every time you shine, I shine

UNTOUCHABLE

I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why

I'm caught up in you

When you're close, I feel like coming undone

Say that we'll be together 

I won't wait here all day 

I want to feel you by my side and standing next to me

COME IN WITH THE RAIN

I don't wanna go there anymore

I know all the steps up to your door but I don't wanna go there anymore

I'll leave my window open

I'm too tired at night to call your name

Just know I'm right here hoping that you'll come in with the rain

I could stand up and sing you a song but I don't wanna have to go that far 

I've got you down, I know you by heart and you don't even know where I start 

I don't know what else I can say 

I'm too tired at night for all these games 

SUPERSTAR

This is wrong but I can't help but feel like there ain’t nothing more right

I can't help but wish I could see your face 

I knew from the first note played I'd be breaking all my rules to see you

I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl who's desperately in love with you

Loneliness comes around when I'm not dreaming about you 

I knew when I saw your face I'd be counting down the ways to see you 

I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are 

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR

In the heat of the fight I walked away ignoring words that you were saying

This time I've had enough

I'm so mad I might tell you that it's over 

Leave

I'm in love with you

All I need is on the other side of the door 

I keep going back over things we both said 

If you know everything tell me why you couldn't see when I left, I wanted you to chase after me 

I can't even look at you 

I don’t need you, but I do

There's nothing you can say to make this right again, I mean it 

TODAY WAS A FAIRY TALE

Today was a fairy tale

I used to be a damsel in distress

Time slows down whenever you're around

Can you feel this magic in the air?

I fell in love when I saw you standing there

It's getting so much clearer 

Nothing made sense 'til the time I saw your face

YOU ALL OVER ME (FEAT. MAREN MORRIS)

I lived, and I learned, had you, got burned

Swore that I'd get out of here

No amount of freedom gets you clean

I've still got you all over me  

The best and worst day of June was the one that I met you 

Don't you wish you had me? 

Every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then 

I watched a part of myself die

MR. PERFECTLY FINE

I've been waitin' for you all my life

Every single day until the end, I will be by your side

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine", how's your heart after breaking mine?

It's wonderful to see that you're okay

Everything revolves around you

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I never got past what you put me through but it's wonderful to see that it never fazed you

WE WERE HAPPY

When it was good, baby, it was good

No one could touch the way we laughed in the dark 

Goodbye's so much harder 'cause we were happy 

I hate those voices telling me I'm not in love anymore 

THAT’S WHEN (FEAT. KEITH URBAN)

Need some space to think about all of this 

When can I come back? 

All this playing, did you ever think of me?

I'll be waiting at the front gate

I did you wrong, made mistakes and put you through all of this 

I'll come back

DON’T YOU

I knew I'd run into you somewhere 

It's been a while

I didn't mean to stare 

I'm sure she'll make you happy 

Don't smile at me and ask me how I've been

Don't say you've missed me if you don't want me again

You don't how much I feel I love you still 

Sometimes I really wish that I could hate you 

I swore I wouldn't do this

BYE BYE BABY

It wasn't just like a movie 

This is the last time I'll drive this way again 

I still love you but I can't 

I was so sure of everything we thought we'd always have

Seems like I'm becoming part of your past

There's so much that I can't touch

You're all I want but it's not enough this time

I can feel you like you're slipping through my hands 

I'm so scared of how this ends

I want you back but it's coming down to nothing

[rpgsandbox]

Dearest Balin,

Almost six years have passed already since the last time you were here. I remember very well everything you and Gandalf said when we met. You were alarmed, and I took your warnings at heart, but I don’t think you would find it surprising to know that news of a nameless threat is hard to believe here in the dear old Shire. Gandalf came to see me again, on several occasions. He seems to care about our friendship, and he says I should indeed be worried, but his vague words of warning hardly make even less of a dent in the general sense of peace and protection that we enjoy here, away in the north-west.

But don’t think that I am completely clueless! All I need to know is to have a look at… the stuff I collected in my adventures to remember that there is a wide and dangerous world out there. Sometimes I even miss it, the road, the thrill, the narrow escapes. It’s my Tookish side. But then I look at my beautiful garden, my snapdragons and sunflowers, my trailing nasturtians… how they glow, red and golden, more beautiful than any Dragon-hoard that ever was, and I am back to being a Baggins.

I hope that what I say won’t be too much of a disappointment to you. You haven’t asked yet, but I know that you mean to invite me to join you in that Moria adventure you are always talking about. I am afraid that I have spent enough time crawling in the dark under the Misty Mountains not to wish to do that ever again! But there’s a good bunch of eager lads and lasses here that you might find to your liking. Why, they are just waiting for no more than a nod in their direction from me or from our Grey friend to go off into the blue for mad adventures! Theirs is an age that is more appropriate to that type of business, believe me,  and I have taught them a thing or two. I suspect that Gandalf has too...

From a letter from Bilbo Baggins, Esq. to Balin son of Fundin

“This is the Master-ring, the One Ring to rule them all.”

The One Ring™ is a roleplaying game based on The Hobbit™ and The Lord of the Rings™, two extraordinary works of fiction by the beloved author and respected academic, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, published in partnership with Sophisticated Games.

First released in 2011, its award-winning design was hailed as the best attempt at bringing Middle-earth to the gaming table to date, thanks to its thematic rules and painstaking attention to detail. For 10 years, players of the game have traveled far and wide across Middle-earth, adventuring for multiple decades of game time.

Today, it is time for the game to enter a new era – this new edition of The One Ring brings players further into the Twilight of the Third Age with a new hardbound volume, presenting:

A set of updated and streamlined rules, developed thanks to years of players’ feedback and raising the game to the standards of quality that have made Free League so popular.

A new setting to experience – the Lone-lands of Eriador in the year is 2965 of the Third Age. This is a vast land that once saw the glory of the North Kingdom of the Dúnedain.

A complete visual redesign of art and graphics, offering a view of Middle-earth that is fresh and familiar at the same time.

                                Sample Spreads (Work in Progress)

“The Enemy still lacks one thing to give him strength and knowledge to beat down all resistance, break the last defences, and cover all the lands in a second darkness. He lacks the One Ring.”

The One Ring is set in the Twilight of the Third Age, a time-frame comprising the events narrated in The Hobbit™ and the start of The Lord of the Rings™. Encompassing more than six decades, this period is ushered in when Bilbo the Hobbit finds the Ruling Ring, and culminates with the war fought by the Free Peoples against the Dark Lord Sauron, and the destruction of the Ring.

The year is 2965 of the Third Age, and the players create a Company of heroes, Hobbits, Dwarves, Elves and Men seeking adventure in the Lone-lands of Eriador. It is a desolate country, a vast land that once saw the glory of the North Kingdom of the Dúnedain, the Men of the West. Here, many wars were fought, and countless ruins dot its landscape. Shadows move along its paths, and not all of them belong to the living. It is here that the One Ring lies, a seed of the past that will one day lead the world to open war against the returning Shadow.

This edition of The One Ring moves the focus of the game to the lands of Old Arnor, with a full description of the town of Bree and the surrounding areas, including famous locales like Weathertop, Fornost and Annuminas, providing the players with a new starting point for their adventures.

The Enemy is moving, and smoke issues once more from Mount Doom, in the land of Mordor...

“… you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.”

In The One Ring, players create individuals who led an ordinary life until something made them realize that they were simply pretending that shadows weren’t growing nearer and nearer every year. They are not soldiers or mercenaries, nor are they subtle Wizards trying to weave the threads spun by fate: they are adventurous souls representing the various Free Peoples opposing the return of the Shadow.

The core gameplay of The One Ring revolves around two alternate phases — the Adventuring Phase and the Fellowship Phase. This structure follows the deeds of the players not only geographically, as they explore the land in pursuit of their goals, but also chronologically, as time passes and the Twilight of the Third Age enfolds.

The game mechanics have been created from the ground up to match the source material and emulate the action as depicted in The Lord of the Rings™ and The Hobbit™. They feature a set of custom dice, but the game can also be played using a standard set including a 12-sided die and at least six 6-sided dice. The accessibility and elegance of the system fits in perfectly with other games by Free League.

This new edition of the game further reinforces the connection between its mechanics and the stories that inspired them. The rules for things like hero creation or the use of Hope have been tweaked to make the game run smoothly without sacrificing their faithfulness to the sources, while those for Journeys and Councils, for example, have been completely redesigned. New rules, like those for Magical die results, have been added to evoke elements that are vital to the theme of the game, like the subtle magic of Middle-earth.

The new edition will be compatible with modules for the first edition, requiring only minor tweaking.

Created for the first time for this edition of the game, the Starter Set contains everything you need to start playing, and more! Focused on the Shire, this set allows for new players to enter the world of Middle-earth from the land of the Hobbits, where all the stories began. A number of pre-generated characters allow players to take the road to adventure in no time. The boxed set, mainly written by seasoned RPG writer James Spahn, includes:

Condensed rules, including everything you need to start playing in Middle-earth.

An adventure compendium, presenting a number of adventures to be played using the pre-generated characters contained in the box.

Pre-generated characters of esteemed Hobbits like Drogo Baggins, Paladin Took, Primula Brandybuck or Lobelia Baggins, and more.

  The One Ring Starter Set – Contents Added as Stretch Goals are Unlocked

We know that many of you have been enjoying roleplaying in Middle-earth using the fifth edition ruleset in the Adventures in Middle-Earth. We are working on a new edition for the 5E rules as well – but it is not part of this Kickstarter. More information about this will follow in the months to come.

Kickstarter campaign ends: Thu, March 4 2021 8:00 PM UTC +00:00

Website: [Free League Publishing] [facebook] [twitter] [instagram]

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

A Great Treasure

(Jaskier just constantly getting kidnapped by dragons and dressed real pretty? Yeah. I’m into it.)

tw: gratuitous, almost My Immortal levels of outfit description because I am A Ho For The Look, dragons being horny, Geralt being soft as fuck but also kinda horny

---

The next dragon that took Jaskier wasn’t nearly as sneaky. Nor was it green. The great, sapphire-blue reptile swooped down above the road in broad daylight and plucked the surprised bard up with its great talons, disappearing over the tops of the trees before Geralt could so much as think to pull his sword. The Witcher heard Jaskier’s startled cry echo out over the forest and urged Roach into a canter. He departed from the beaten path and took off in the same general direction the creature had been headed. “It hasn’t even been three full fucking weeks yet. Fuck.”

Hello, Jaskier! I’m a friend of Etheid’s, the dragon introduced herself. The draconic method of telepathic communication still bothered the bard a little but the blue dragon’s voice seemed more sing-song than Etheid’s had been. Certainly more feminine. Call me Lythos, or Lyth for short. 

“Nice to meet you, Lythos,” Jaskier muttered, clenching his eyes shut tightly. “Let’s talk more when we’re on solid ground, yeah?”

Afraid of heights, bardling?

“Just a smidgen of a little bit.”

Worry not, we’re nearly to my tower.

“Another tower?”

Whatever happened to talking on solid ground?

“I’ve been kidnapped by two dragons in one month. I’m curious.”

I doubt this will be the last time you’re kidnapped by a dragon, either. Not until one of my brethren gives up during their turn or loses the bet.

“Their turn? What bet?! What are you talking about?”

I will explain the situation to you more fully when we land. There is much to be discussed. Many things to plan. Many rules to be determined and recorded for the others. 

Jaskier sighed, glad he’d left his lute tied to Roach’s saddlebags today, and let himself be carried off to yet another strange adventure. “So you guys are just going to keep swooping in and stealing me away like this because it’s fun?”

Yes. And because Borch said that you and Geralt are kind-hearted and friendly mortals. We dragons don’t meet many such humans in our travels; we’d like to reward you somehow.

“So you’re rewarding me by kidnapping me?”

That’s why we included the second part of the deal, with the elaborately designed outfits. It’s not just because we enjoy collecting treasures from all over the Continent and squirreling them away to play with later; it’s also our form of payment to you. If you’re dressed from head to toe in silk and gold when Geralt rescues you then there’s no time to stop and take those items off before you ‘escape’. You can keep them or sell them; anything you are given by one of us should be considered payment for services rendered.

“And the service that Geralt and I are providing is...entertainment?”

Correct. It would be unfair to use up so much of a Witcher’s time without paying him.

“You’d be surprised how many people do that, actually,” Jaskier griped. “Village after village, turning him away without payment just because he’s a mutant and a freak. It’s horrible!”

Now you understand why my kin are so desperate for something good in the world. The love between you and Geralt is pure and strong, that is the other reason we chose the two of you.

Jaskier blushed. “We’re just a couple of flimsy mortals that happened to bump into each other and get along. Most of the time. It’s a very human thing to do. There are other couples in need of some emotional urging, if you’re looking to orchestrate a romance.”

No, we wish only to further yours. Now, would you care to look through the clothes I’ve gathered? We have at least another day before your Witcher finds us. 

“Less than a day if he chooses not to pause for meditation, the fool.”

He will not risk losing you, Lythos sighed happily. I checked in on him earlier; he is meditating and gathering his strength. He has admitted his love for you now and is determined to prove himself. How dreamy.

“That is absolutely precious! Ugh, I love him so much.” 

Then let us make you lovely, so that when he arrives he is doubly excited to see you.

“I can’t argue with that logic. Not from such an ancient and wise creature.”

Flattery gets you everywhere, bard, Lythos teased. She huffed out a thin cloud of steam and Jaskier chuckled in return. 

“I know.”

---

“Are you kidding me?”

Absolutely not, the dragon shook its snout. Try them on. Unless you don’t like it, of course; I have other options, too.

“No, it’s all very lovely. It’s just...I get to keep them?”

Of course. I don’t want to make you change your clothes in the middle of Geralt’s daring rescue. That would totally ruin the romance!

“I suppose that would be rather odd. Even Geralt might catch on to something like that.” Jaskier held clothes the dragon had preferred in his hands, glancing once more at the suggested shirt. “What exactly is this supposed to be?”

It’s a tunic, of course. What else could it possibly be?

The bard gesticulated towards the dragon, holding the apparent tunic out for inspection as if he was shocked or surprised by Lyth’s choice. “It’s completely sheer!”

Yes, and it will make you look so very delicate, Lythos urged. Just try it on with the pants. Just once. You can change if you don’t like it, like I said. There’s a whole closet of costumery at your disposal, Jaskier.

The bard sighed and pulled the pants on first. They were made of a deep, peacock blue silk and hugged him in all the right places. He turned back and forth, observing their fit in the full-length mirror Lythos had provided. His legs were defined but the material wasn’t overly tight; it hadn’t bunched up near his thighs or ass like silk of this kind usually did. “Were these tailored to fit me?”

Yes, they were. 

“How? I’ve only been here for a few hours and you pulled these directly from the armoire!”

Etheid passed along your measurements to the rest of us so that we could better prepare.

“Right, of course. Dragons. Bets. All that fun stuff,” the bard sighed. He tugged the gossamer shirt down over his head and tucked it neatly into the waistband of his high-waisted trousers. Jaskier glanced towards the mirror again and discovered that he looked...he looked amazing. 

The shirt had been designed with a low, swooping neckline that revealed both his collarbones and a good portion of his chest. The thin, almost translucent white material left whatever the shirt did cover still almost entirely visible. When he blushed it could be rather obviously traced all the way down to his mid-chest. The giddy bard mussed his hair a little and did his best pouting ‘rescue me’ face; oh yes, that’s the way to do it. 

Jaskier looked downright sinful. 

“You are absolutely brilliant, Lythos! Geralt is going to lose his mind when he sees me in this ensemble.”

So you’ll wear it?

“This particular outfit is my new favorite. I’ll have to wait until the next dragon shows up before we can turn a profit from this whole bard-napping melodrama venture.”

There is always the jewelry. I can give you a few extra pieces to sell since you love the clothes so much; I have too much of the stuff sitting around and collecting dust anyway.

“Would you like it if I let you choose all my jewelry? I’m afraid I tend to go a bit overboard.”

Yes, yes! The dragon huffed happily, filling the space briefly with a cloud of steam. I have temporary earrings and bracelets and necklaces. I even have anklets if you so desire. 

“Goody!” the bard rejoiced. “I love anklets! I never have good enough reason to wear them, though. This will be lovely. Do you mind if I roll the pants up to my knees? Geralt does so love the sight of my bare skin. I think it would drive him absolutely mad if we showed a little ankle for the Witcher.”

Please do whatever you see fit, my friend, Lythos insisted. You must sparkle for your White Wolf. You must look the part of the treasure he seeks to find!

“Ah, so I’m a treasure this time instead of a damsel?”

Hmm, yes. I think that makes it more interesting. What kind of treasure would you like to be?

“Geralt’s,” the bard breathed dreamily. The large, winged reptile rolled her eyes and huffed again.

Duh, that’s the point. I meant like...pirate treasure? A king’s treasure? I’ve never done roleplay before. Mostly just burning down the houses of rude nobles and kidnapping some princesses upon request. I’m not incredibly familiar with human treasure.

“Oh! I could be your hoard!”

You’re brilliant! Of course! This will be so fun. What if you laid in my tail when Geralt arrived? Like I was guarding you?

“Well then how would he get me away without hurting you?”

I could make him give a speech? Woo you away from me with your words?

“Oh, that’s very clever. Very dramatic. I love it!”

We do make a good team, I think.

“Do you have any makeup? This look would be excellent with some eyeliner.”

You are definitely as entertaining and fun as Etheid promised. I’m sure that Aramaris will enjoy you just as much.

“Wait, who’s Aramaris?”

They chose the next lot after me. Then, after Aramaris has their turn, Vertos would like a chance to partake. 

“Hold on a minute. There’s a waiting list of dragons who want to kidnap me?”

And see Geralt come running to your aid, yes. It is rather sweet to watch and we are all very bored. We’re going to see who can make you the prettiest and get Geralt the most worked up. 

“So this is just a game to you?”

As I said before, it is both a game and a legitimate matchmaking endeavor. Additionally, we’re compensating you for your time and trouble.

“I suppose,” Jaskier agreed. “Plus this outfit is absolutely to die for.”

Yes, and now to the makeup!

---

Geralt was very confused and very tired. He had tracked the dragon through the woods to yet another ancient, dilapidated tower. Jaskier was hidden at the top, no doubt, probably terrified out of his mind. This was the second dragon to capture his idiot bard in a fucking month, though the first time had been extremely unorthodox. Just plain odd, really, considering Geralt’s previous experiences. 

Oh well, nothing he could do now except climb the tower and rescue Jaskier.

---

Jaskier was waiting for his Witcher to arrive while reclining within the coil of Lythos’s enormous blue tail His pants were only a half-shade brighter than her scales and the contrast was remarkably artistic (perhaps by design). The bard was barefoot and his pants were rolled up to just below the knee. Lyth had insisted on decking him out in lots of jewelry since Jaskier was to be her supposed hoard. It will be more realistic and believable if you’re dripping with silver and sapphires, bard. He found himself unable to argue with her logic once again.

Jaskier had a handful of thin silver bands around one ankle, a silver cuff around his left wrist, and another bejeweled cuff at the top of his left bicep, beneath the shirt. Lythos had added a thin silver chain around his neck, which fell to just above his chest hair and ended with a teardrop shaped sapphire pendant. Some kind of crushed gemstone powder had been dusted atop his collarbones and into his hair, making him seem to sparkle in the midday sun. He’d added a light, smudged layer of kohl around his eyes to widen and darken them like he had once at court. The dragon had also demanded that he slide several rings of various styles and sizes onto his long, tapered fingers. It will draw his attention to your hands, she explained. You will thank me tonight, I’m sure.

That suggestion had Jaskier blushing brightly and Lythos had nearly snorted fire from laughing so hard at the young man’s reaction. 

Here he comes! She announced, bringing Jaskier’s back to the present. His blue eyes fixated on the thick wooden door that led from the chamber where Lythos lay curled and ‘guarding’ him to the bedchamber where he’d stayed the last two nights. Very shortly after her announcement there was a determined grunt, a heavy thud, and the door crashed open to reveal Geralt. 

The Witcher was breathing heavily and his nostrils were flared but he wasn’t wearing his armor. He hadn’t been wearing it last time, either, and Jaskier wondered if he was already onto their little charade. “You know I won’t win if we battle,” Geralt admitted, staring across the room at the lounging dragon.

His eyes flickered to Jaskier for a moment, widened when they took in the bard’s appearance, and then returned to staring down the monster. 

I don’t intend to fight you, Witcher, Lythos said, projecting her bored words into both of their minds. Jaskier knew that she was faking the cold disinterest but his heart still picked up speed when one of her large claws hooked beneath his chin and raised him into a slightly taller sitting position. Though I suspect that you’ve come to take back my newest treasure and I am loathe to let it go so soon.

The Witcher nodded, unable to form words. He was nervous for the life of his bard but he was also slightly distracted by the way Jaskier was being forced to arch his neck and tilt his head that way. The bard looked so fucking breakable and soft, surrounded by scales and held partially aloft by such a strong and pointed appendage. His eyes were wide and completely focused on the Witcher, his own peril seemingly irrelevant even as he gasped against the scraping claw. Geralt shook his head to clear it and narrowed his eyes even more. “Don’t hurt him.”

It’s my treasure, Lythos hummed dismissively. I will do with the human lad as I please. Go away, Witcher, and leave us to play.

“He’s not a toy,” Geralt growled. He reached for his sword and cursed when his hand swiped through empty air. He knew bringing a weapon up so many flights of stairs was pointless but he still should have kept it on him for safety. Jaskier made a gentle, nervous noise and the Wicher flinched. “Please don’t hurt him!”

You would barter for the human? For his safe return?

“Take me instead,” Geralt offered. He held his hands up in surrender and took a slow step forward. Lythos lowered Jaskier back down to his lazily reclined position and raised her scaly brow. The bard was shocked; he hadn’t been expecting the Witcher to do something so drastic right away. He’d anticipated some kind of argument first.

You would sacrifice yourself for him? Trade yourself to me in order to save him?

“Of course,” the Witcher scoffed. Lythos could hear his slow heartbeat starting to accelerate. “I love him. I’d do anything for him.”

Hmm. Little treasure, what do you think?

“I can’t let him do that for me. He’s a Witcher, I am merely a traveling bard. The world has more need for him than it does for me.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt half-whimpered. A pleading tone bled into his words as he took another step forward, this time towards the bard, “You foolish man. I know you. You’d grow bored here. You’d grow antsy to travel. You’d try to escape and you’d get yourself hurt or killed or...”

I protect what is mine, the dragon interrupted. He will be safe here. I will keep him happy and entertained.

“Please,” the Witcher sighed. He dropped to his knees and bowed his head forward, white hair falling in a curtain around his ridiculously attractive face. “Jaskier was the first good thing Destiny ever did for me. I can’t lose him.”

I have seen into your heart and know these feelings to be true, Lythos intoned. She spoke as if she was making a very difficult decision and not sticking to a vague pre-determined script. You may take the bard and go, but you must hurry. I may change my mind.

Jaskier clambered out from between the coils of her massive tail and allowed Geralt to sweep him up into those strong, stable arms. He clung to the Witcher’s neck and buried his face to hide his smile. Lythos said her final goodbye to the bard alone; I hope my kin treat you fairly. If they do not, let me know, and I shall take care of it. Thank you for the lovely time.

“Thank YOU,” Jaskier mouthed. 

And then they began to descend the winding tower staircase.

---

“I hope I never see another dragon again in my life except for maybe Borch,” Geralt panted, urging Roach into a slightly faster canter.

“Yeah,” Jaskier said, smiling a little to himself. “Running into another dragon so soon after two nearly identical kidnappings would be very strange.”

[yeochikin]

video games and questions. | p. seonghwa

a/n: thank you anon for requesting this! ngl this was p difficult even if it sounded easier it my head so i’m sorry this is short fdfjf i hope you enjoyed this! ✨💖 also lemme tag @hwanami hehe lov u 

word count: 2.5k.

warning(s): i don’t think there’s any, just some multiple times of a video game character dying!

“hey guys, welcome back to my channel!” you beamed, waving into the camera as soon as you started your stream, then adjusted your gaming headphones. 

you weren’t a popular streamer nor were you unknown as well, just somewhere in the middle of it. honestly, you never really cared about the attention you received. merely, you enjoyed what you did whether it was for a vlog, a reaction video, an occasional mukbang, and more often nowadays, gaming. you aren’t a huge gamer yourself due to work life but somehow, you’ve grown really hooked to this game even if it came out a few years ago. 

“so, today i’m gonna play this roleplaying based game from before, and continue where we left off!” you grinned, excitedly wiggling in your chair as you waited for your computer to load the game. 

while doing so, you read the comments left by the viewers, some were words of encouragement and support, and some were interesting questions that would either make you think deeply to yourself (not at how the viewers would take a screenshot of your confused expressions and use them as a meme). suddenly, as soon as you started the game, fingers quick to control your character in the game, a particular question caught your eye.

“ah, seonghwa? he’s in the other room, saying he needed to practice a cover he’s about to do.” you chuckled, gazing into the camera before cupping your lips as if you were whispering to someone yet purposely making your voice loud.

“we all know he sings well, damn angels must have blessed his voice.” an amused laugh bubbled out of your lips upon hearing the muffled ‘i heard that!’ from the other room by a certain male. 

park seonghwa, your boyfriend, was who everyone adored. just like you, he has his own channel, though he would mostly do singing covers or even dance covers. sometimes, you would even ask yourself how the two of you got together due to having differences when it came to your contents in your channels but if it weren’t for a convention the both of you were invited to a couple of years ago where the two of you first met, maybe the two of you wouldn’t be where you are right now. though it was rather awkward at first, you slowly came to realise you had a pleasant time with the male during the time at the convention, which led to you exchanging numbers and social media. 

“woah, a dragon! i wonder if i could ride i- oh, oh..” your jaw dropped as you watched as how your character laid lifeless on the ground after a minor accident. 

your eyes stared into the camera, eyes wide yet somehow they looked so defeated while your jaw was open, pulling a round of laughing emojis along with keyboard smashes in the comment section of your stream. as your character respawned, you buried your face into your hands as soon as you realised that you forgot to save before deciding to… ‘befriend’ the dragon in the game. 

“hey guys, remind me to save every time BEFORE i do anything dumb in this game.” you laughed frustratedly, starting to go over the quests yet again, mimicking the npc’s voice every time. you were too busy playing the game while occasionally engaging with your audience between loading screens, and telling your character to quickly escape from the enemies, that you failed to notice your boyfriend peeking his head through the door to watch you, an amused smile playing over his plump lips. 

‘y/n, who is that behind you?’

“ha-ha very funny, guys. there’s no one behind me, see?” you deadpanned after reading the comment, turning around to face the door. 

but instead of seeing only the door, your eyes were met with seonghwa’s head. due to half of his body was outside of the door, it looked as if his head was floating, effectively making you scream out of surprise, which made seonghwa yell along with you. once you calmed down, you pressed a hand on your chest, then glared over at your lover. 

“you could have knocked?” 

seonghwa merely sent you a straight, unamused expression with his hand on his own chest, before parting his lips to retort. “if you weren’t too busy yelling at your character to run faster, you would’ve heard me knocking.” 

“no! i would have heard you, yelling or not.” you protested. 

seonghwa merely rolled his eyes then smiled out of defeat, he couldn’t stay mad at you. walking further into the room, he wrapped his arms around your neck from behind and leaned down to press his lips against the top of your head as he whispered a small ‘hi’ to you. grinning from the sudden affection, you reached a hand up, and pulled his face a little closer so you could plant a tiny peck on his lips. turning to look at the camera, you gently nudged seonghwa to properly get into the frame so the viewers could see him a little better, now pulling up his own chair from his desk in the room to sit next to you.

“say hi, babe. i’m sure the viewers would love for you to join us.” you patted his thigh, laughing at how most of the viewers in the comment section were gushing at how good looking seonghwa is. 

with a bow of his head along with a gentle wave of his hand, seonghwa introduced himself to your audience. “hello everyone, i’m park seonghwa. y/n’s unexpected guest.” 

he laughed towards the end of his introduction after seeing you roll your eyes in a playful manner at him, knowing full well at this point he’s an expected guest from the amount of times he spent peeking in your livestreams or purposely creating a random reason just so he could join you in your videos. and in return, you would sometimes even appear in his videos to sing a duet with him.

the introduction managed to pull another round of gushing from your viewers while some even gave a casual ‘hi!’. you only gave him a small nudge with your elbow, your boyfriend feigning a pained expression as if you punched him in the guts. deadpanning, you turned towards the camera.

“somebody come and pick up this dork, he’s acting up today.” you said, earning a laugh from the male who then ruffled your hair.

despite being annoyed at his teasings, you can’t help but smile to yourself at how seonghwa was finally warming and opening up the more he joined your streaming while he interacted with some questions left by the viewers, whether you invited him or the latter merely inviting himself in occasionally. 

believe it or not, he was rather shy in front of the camera when you first collaborated with seonghwa for a mukbang video despite him having his own singing and dancing channel. though you finally understood why after he explained how he was.. in his own world whenever he did covers. it was no wonder seonghwa has  a lot of fans due to how well he expressed his emotions through them.

“babe, you’re not gonna make it in that jump!” you exclaimed as seonghwa took control of the game now.

“what are you saying? there’s a river underneath, your character will survive!” seonghwa protested before pressing the key, much to your protests.

“seonghwa wait!”

silence filled the both of you as you watched your character who is now laying motionlessly in the waters due to the miscalculation of the jump, courtesy to your boyfriend. the both of you stared into the screen.

then at each other.

then at the camera, both wearing a poker face on your features before groaning at the same time. you grabbed onto his arm so you could shake him while scolding him at how he should have known better, seonghwa letting you do as you please with a guilty smile played over his lips. standing up from his chair, he bowed his head.

“i’m sorry, i should have known before jumping straight into things. or in this case, off of random cliffs in the game.” 

his last sentence made you burst out laughing, yet again making your viewers cut the certain scene as a highlight for the day’s livestream. feigning annoyance, you gave out a sigh as you took over the controls once again while seonghwa read through the comments being left. 

“ooh, this is an interesting question, babe! what are your sleeping habits?” seonghwa said, eyes still glued to the comment section with the corners of his lips quirking up due to some comments that were hilarious to him.

“sleeping habits?” you hummed, leaning your back against your chair with lips pursed in thought. crossing your arms, you looked over at seonghwa and hummed, turning to the camera afterwards.

“i don’t think it’s that serious but sometimes he talks in his sleep.” you said, snickering underneath your breath when seonghwa lightly swatted at your thigh.

“hey, i don’t do that!”

“oh? then tell me why you think that i was san or wooyoung to stop teasing you, huh?” you raised an eyebrow, a huge grin threatening to curl itself over your brims from the flustered expression of your boyfriend.

“at least i didn’t almost fall out of bed from the amount of times i toss and turn.” he pouted.

“that was one time!” you whined, a red tint covering your cheeks as you remembered the said moment, promptly giving your boyfriend’s chest a light slap in retaliation as he teased you more and more. cooing, seonghwa pulled you into his arms and pressed a couple of kisses on the top of your head.

‘omg the two of you will be the death of me!’

‘you two should do more livestreams togetherrrr’ 

‘still can’t get over how seonghwa just pouted lmao’

the both of you giggled at the amount of comments as you shook your head, then went back to your game. the room was now filled with the sounds of fingers rapidly clicking onto the keys of your keyboard, your occasional groans and laughs from the various moments you encountered throughout the game, and seonghwa’s praise whenever you defeated an enemy, along with the occasional questions being answered by either you, seonghwa, or both. 

you’ve been playing the game for quite a while now and soon enough, you’ve finally grown tired of the game. totally not because of the fact that you kept dying in the game. with the remaining few minutes you had to spend, you decided to interact more with the fans this time now that you are more focused. 

‘y/n think fast, forehead kisses or hand kisses?’ one person asked. without a heartbeat, you immediately answered with a huge grin. 

“forehead kisses, definitely! something about them seems more… intimate in a way? as if someone is making you forget the things around you momentarily even without the need to say anything. just one forehead kiss is enough to erase the bad thoughts away, i guess?” 

next to you, seonghwa couldn’t help but to smile at how awed you looked answering the question as he listened intently and arms crossed in front of his chest, the certain dazed look in your eyes never fails to make him want to gather your frame in his arms and just give you all the forehead kisses you needed. suddenly, your laughter rang in his ears, making the male look at what you were laughing at, eyes widening slightly in the process.

‘in that case, let me be the one kissing your forehead lmao’

scoffing underneath his breath, seonghwa wrapped his arms around your waist and playfully glared at the screen, making a gesture with his hand as if saying that he had his eyes on the commenter.

“no, no, only i can kiss the little bun’s forehead.” seonghwa mused, a playful jealousy tone in his voice, wagging a finger in front of him as he hugged you close against him. 

“that’s a no-no, okay?” he spoke, causing you to coo softly underneath your breath from how the tone of his voice was slightly high pitched as he spoke out the sentence, somehow going a tad higher from the ‘okay’ he did. 

“sorry, guys. i guess seonghwa can only give me forehead kisses.” you laughed, shutting your eyes briefly upon feeling a pair of plump lips pressing against your forehead.

wondering how long you have spent playing the game, you opened your eyes and looked at the time. you had noticed that you spent almost two hours of just playing video games that you finally noticed that you felt hungry. before you could even say anything, a low rumble that came from your stomach made the words you were about to utter suddenly disappear. seonghwa, who also heard the low grumbling noise, laughed at you with a hand over his lips.

“i think that’s our cue to finally get lunch, huh little bun?” he grinned down at your flushed cheeks, dainty hands over your stomach. 

“oh yeah, definitely. so i’m gonna have to stop the streaming right here guys. see you in my next video, bye guys!” 

“byeee!” 

the both of you waved into the camera for a few seconds, then you reached out to end the stream. you then proceeded to stand up from your chair and stretched your arms out, the little dinosaur-like noise leaving your lips upon feeling your tense muscles relax, seonghwa doing the same. 

“thank you for being in my livestream today, i had fun. even though you made my character die after that jump from the cliff.” you laughed once seonghwa deadpanned at you.

however, the unamused expression slowly melted away into a look of fondness. he then placed his hand against the back of your head as an attempt to pull you closer so that he could press his lips against your forehead. 

“i had fun too, maybe next time you should collab with me again the next time i film.” he suggested.

“we can talk about that later but for now..” you trailed off, patting your stomach.

“we need to find something to eat.” you continued, seonghwa playfully giving a light poke against your stomach, then made his way to your small kitchen with you happily trailing from behind, your hand clinging onto the back of his shirt as you do so.

“ramen sounds good to you, little bun?” he inquired, checking the cabinets for said food. 

hopping on the counter top, you nodded your head in agreement. your stomach suddenly growled once again at the mention of food that it made you hug your arms close to your stomach in surprise, seonghwa laughing at the noise and prepared the utensils. while waiting for the water to boil, your lover leaned in to steal a little kiss on your lips. smiling sheepishly, you hopped off of the counter and helped him in cutting up the vegetables.

needless to say, the both of you spent most of the time in the kitchen just enjoying each other’s company along with playful hip bumps every time the two of you stood next to each other as you waited for the food to finish cooking. you couldn’t ask for anything more than this.

[msbelmonttepesbelnades]

A/n: Trevor is my favorite... so enjoy ;) Also as I’m writing and looking at the other a-z I’ve written. I can see I missed a few letters in some of them lmao.

Trevor

Aftercare

Trevor is a tad bit indolent with his aftercare. He likes to lay there with his partner, usually behind them or on his side. Just so he can plant soft kisses on your back and shoulders. He’s one to wrap his arms around you and hold you close to his broad chest.

Body Part

For himself, I can see Trevor liking his hands and forearms. His hands are strong and warm, they’re what keep you safe from harm. He also knows he has an angular jaw. He likes when you trace your fingers along his chin and jawline.

On his s/o, Trevor can’t seem to choose because he likes everything. Relishing the fact that he has you naked and in his hands. But, I suppose if he had to pick it would be your thighs. He loves to squeeze them, bite them and lay his head in your lap. His stubble tickles when he’s in between them.

Cum

It’s very thick and hard to swallow at first, it’s not very sticky but don’t let it dry cause it’ll be a bitch to try and get out later. Fucking cements over lmao. Despite that it surprisingly tastes great and it isn’t very salty. He says it the beer and ale he drinks that makes it tastes so...intoxicating.

Dirty Secret

In his younger days whilst traveling around, he would often drink himself into a coma just to get to sleep at night. He does it less now that he has the company of Sypha. But one night while staying in an inn he saw this servant girl working down in the tavern. As the night went on, Trevor would catch her stealing suggestive glances his way. Trevor tried to ignore it but he couldn’t, it had been ages since his last lay and he was definitely aching for the touch of a woman. So, that night he invited her to his room. He had every intent on fucking her filthy but...didn’t? Or rather he couldn’t, not the way he intended. She had brought him a complimentary tankard of ale. She drugged him, tied him up to the bed post and had her way with him. In the midst of the haze that was inflicted on him he could see through cloudy vision that she was robbing him. She took everything. The next morning he woke up still tied down and with an intense headache. He had to call for help, it was extremely embarrassing and when he was asked what happened he didn’t say. It’s a dirty little secret he’s taking to the grave. He actually saw the girl again but didn’t have the heart to go confront her about it.

Experience

He’s got it under his belt, he’s not a horn dog but he’s slept around enough to know what he’s doing. How to do it right, how to do it even better. As well as knowing what he likes and what turns him on. Surely there will never be disappointment when sleeping with Trevor. Unless he’s completely wasted.

Favorite Position

Kneeling missionary, he likes hovering over you. Your back on the ground while he’s thrusting into you at an angle that’s extremely difficult to not let drive you mad. He likes looking at your face, he likes seeing your chest heave and your lips parted. It makes him hard and his thrusts harder. He also likes it when you’re on top riding him, he likes it playful and a bit rough so do whatever you want to him.

Goofy

It’s not overly silly with him but you can’t have sex with Trevor and not laugh. He likes to joke about how flustered he makes his you. This man is so much fun, but when the night calls for passion. He makes you giggle a little less and moan and whimper a lot more.

Hair

He’s mildly hairy at best. He’s got a happy trail but surprisingly very little chest hair. I’m not gonna lie you might catch a pube going down on him lmao. Which will make him actually trim, but very little. He likes having quite a bit of hair down there.

Intimacy

He can be very intimate, it won’t ever be awkward with him. He makes sure you’re comfortable and let you know that he adores you when his words aren’t enough. Trevor is likely very sensual too, so it’s not always about an orgasm with him.

Jack-Off

He does it, not very often he’s usually good at holding it off while he’s traveling. It doesn’t resonate when he has to climb through shit pipes and fight drunks at taverns who have a personal vendetta against his family. But, when he’s finally relaxed and not dealing with any imminent stress or danger it sets in. He can’t ignore it once he starts think about it and it tends to help him feel better.

Kink

Trevor likes bondage, has an oral fixation when it comes to his partner. He loves their lips and mouth. Suck/lick on his fingers playfully or do the same to yours and he’ll just stare. He doesn’t fancy hurting his partner but he will choke playfully. He also likes to Roleplay, I could see him being into fucking you dressed up as a nun. His dirty talk is better than anyone else’s too, it’s probably bc he swears a lot.

Location

Back of the wagon, anywhere you’ll be covered and undisturbed. He doesn’t mind getting caught but he doesn’t want to have a too high risk of it happening. Mainly because he wants to finish what he’s started with you and because he likes being thorough with his fucking. He doesn’t care if people hear though lmao.

Motivation

When he’s relaxed and is able to let his guard down without any fear of something crazy or outlandish happening he will fuck as much as you want and may even ask for it on his own. His libido is medium to high depending on the day. During the winter it’s much higher for some reason? Maybe it’s the need to keep a regular body temperature.

No

Nothing insanely public, he won’t do anything they involves a risk of life endangerment. Like fucking in the middle of the night outside in the forest where night creatures run amuck. Sex is supposed to be fun, adventurous and experimental. No excess adrenaline pls, be gets enough of that already. Other than that he’ll probably do whatever you ask for.

Oral

A receiver however he can give, he’s good if he’s walked through it; a bit messy but still decent. He can definitely make your toes curl a few times if he’s really into it. But, nothing beats him seeing his your lips wrapped around his dick. It’s thick too, so if you can take the whole thing then he’ll blank out. He loves how it makes him weak in the knees and writhe a bit when he’s sitting. Trevor will gladly face fuck you. If you swallow he’ll do anything you want I swear lmao.

Pace

Given Trevor’s size, he has to go slow. He doesn’t want to hurt you, he wants to make you feel good. His pace quickens the more adjusted you become. His thrusts are deep and extremely filling, there’s no part of you that will be left untouched and stretched out.

Quickie

Yeah he’s down, definitely down to fuck. All you need to do in those small moments of relaxation and peace that you both share together while on the road traveling, is to ask. He’s down to have you to himself during these moments and they’re surprisingly sensual and intimate.

Risk

Not into it, I mean he might fuck in risky places but he definitely prefers not to. He’s always on edge and needs to relax and if he wants to really enjoy the time he has with you, he wants to do it risk free.

Stamina

If he rushes, two-three rounds with a 10 minute refractory period. If he takes his time, about 4-6 rounds and that is not counting when the sun comes up. One round lasts between 35 minutes to two hours with him, maybe three if y’all are getting kinky.

Toy

I don’t believe he owns any ‘toys’ with the exception of his whip. He won’t hit you with it lmao but he will tie you up with it.

X-Ray

He’s got girth, 4in inches thick he’s a bit above average in length aground 7.5in maybe 8in. He as a prominent vein going up the underside of his shaft to the base of his head. It would be wise to listen to him when he says take your time.

Yearning

His yearning is about average, possibly above average with his s/o constantly around. The Belmont has an unbelievable amount of self control, except when he’s drunk lmao.

Zzz

He has trouble sleeping when he’s alone but, after the act and when he’s with you cuddled up in bed he’ll KO and will happily sleep through the night. Though there are times when he’ll wake up during the night and his movements will stir you. Just hold him close and tell him it’ll be okay and he’ll go back to sleep!

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 6 Retrospective

After the euphoria of everything that happened with B99 being cancelled and then revived, B99 returning for a season 6 felt like a gift. Basically a bonus in a way. It was a quasi relaunch of the show in NBC and I have to say that NBC promoted it a lot more than I remember Fox promoting it. Having finished season 6, it is a mixed bag. The season has a lot of really great episodes, a few mediocre ones, and one that I despise with every fiber of my being. And because of those handful of episodes that don't live up to the mark, season 6 ranks as my least favorite season. However, B99 even at its worst is considerably better than almost everything else on tv so its not a very heavy criticism of the season as a whole.

The previous season left the question of Holt becoming Commissioner unanswered. And while it would have been interesting to see B99 tackle Holt becoming Commissioner, it would have fundamentally been impossible to continue it as a singular workplace comedy if Holt and maybe Gina were working elsewhere permanently. So it was obvious he was not going to become Commissioner. The premiere is a delight. Its a honeymoon episode for Jake and Amy with a depressed Holt right in the middle of it. This episode is has plenty of great moments for Holt's variety of novelty t-shirts, to Jake and Amy's Die Hard roleplay, to Amy standing up for Jake and going off on Holt, to the hilarious 'this B needs a C in her A' moment which was clearly the writers having a lot of fun with having lesser language restrictions. The B and C stories are ok, but the A story is a delight. The next episode is a Hitchcock and Scully episode which is nice because we get to see them as studs in the 80's. There is a problem that it does not match up to flashbacks they have done in the past but I kind of ignore that. The next two episodes are dealing with Chelsea Peretti's departure from the show. Tbh, when Chelsea was on maternity leave for the first half of season 5, I didn't really feel her absence. Plus, it did start to feel at times that the writers weren't sure how to include her organically. The Tattler is a cute episode. I love the 90's look of the episode. Melissa Fumero looked adorable. Its probably one of the best Jake and Gina episodes, a dynamic which was strangely underserevd over the course of the show given Andy and Chelsea are childhood friends. But this episode and also their stuff in 'Four Movements' bring up the best in their dynamic. 'Four Movements' is a sweet goodbye although i wish Terry and Boyle had gotten a personal goodbye like Holt, Jake, Amy, and Rosa got.

The season's main storyline is Holt's fight with John Kelly, the new Commissioner. I thought Phil Reeves was pretty damn great as John Kelly. He was just slimy enough to know why he got on Holt's nerves and still charming enough so you could see why other people might like him if they didn't know him. The show continues to do some strong experiments. I love 'The Crime Scene', which is very much centered on Jake and Rosa. The episode doesn't have any B plots and just lets Any and Stephanie carry the episode with a fun appearance from Michael Mosley. It also effectively resolved the pending story from season 5 regarding the issues between Rosa and her mom since she came out as Bi. In terms of platonic friendships between a guy and girl, I feel Jake and Rosa is one of the most well created friendships I have seen on tv. There is also a real time episode in 'Ticking Clocks' guest starring Sean Astin, who was one of the celebrities who championed B99 when it was cancelled. I enjoyed that episode quite a bit because it got the whole ensemble involved. My only issue with it is that it made me dislike Jocelyn. I didn't like the way she broke up with Rosa on her way to the airport and put Rosa under the pump when she saw that they were in a high pressure situation. Holt was pretty right to be mad at the end of the episode. the show also tackled sexual assault with 'He Said, She Said' which is a home run in terms of acting performance for Melissa Fumero. Definitely some of her best dramatic work on the show. She's very ably backed up by Andy Samberg and Stephanie Beatriz who also directed the episode. The episode isn't a complete home run because there is a tonal inconsistency. Its a tough subject to be funny about. There is B plot that is completely unrelated connected to Holt's pursuit of the Yo Yo strangler and its a hoot. But it clashes in tone with the A plot which is pretty serious for the most part. Whereas an episode like Moo Moo managed to connect both the A and B stories with the single topic with Jake and Amy having to explain to Terry's kids about Racism. But honestly, this was about as well an episode on this topic that I can imagine.

The middle of the season is when the show hit a bit of rough patch, starting with Gintars. I like what the episode says about adoption and it was refreshing to see Charles be more assertive to Jake, but the whole deportation angle left a bit of a sour taste in the mouth. The B plot also has Holt and Amy being uncharacteristically mean spirited and while they apologize to Rosa at the end, the episode didn't make it feel they actually learned their lesson. The Therapist is kind of meh. Its another Jake going behind Charles' back episode. While the episode comes around at the end by giving a reason why Jake doesn't like therapy and Jake admitting that he needs to got to therapy, the rest of the episode involves a lot of jokes at patients and therapists which just isn't all that funny. Casecation is my least favorite episode on the show. Its an episode that is so tone deaf and inconsistent in characterization that it just irritates me. The rewatch is only the 2nd time I have watched the episode. I tend to skip it during the rewatches. Its bizarre how badly OOC almost every character is. I think Terry and Charles are the only ones who aren't OOC. While Jake's fears about parenthood are grounded in realistic concerns, we have had several moments where Jake has talked about having kids in the future. So the fact that he comes off as not wanting kids is inconsistent with what we know of him. I was not surprised with Amy being pro family, coming from a big family herself, but the fact that an organized person like her didn't outright have this conversation with Jake before marriage is not believable at all. The episode is also really mean spirited. The structured debate part has Amy, Holt, Kevin etc... all making fun of Jake's fears, Amy being emotionally manipulative and issuing ultimatums, Rosa offering to bully Jake into agreeing with Amy. In general, this maybe the only episode where I disliked Amy, whom I otherwise adore. I understand her perspective, but the way she handles it is unkind. I could honestly go on a long diatribe about why the episode is terrible. In the end, the mean spirited nature of the episode is what turns me off because the thing I love about B99 as a whole is the optimistic and idealistic nature of the show. Gina's return in 'Return of the King' is also not a favorite. Again, the episode just makes Gina look like a bad friend for blowing off Jake and Terry without explanation for so long.

However, thankfully, these 4 episodes are just a blip on the radar. The rest of the episodes are filled with a lot of hilarity. The Bimbo is one of my favorite Holt episodes. Jake and Holt is a dynamic that can never go wrong. Add Kevin to the mix and you have solid gold. Holt as "the bimbo" is a damn funny idea and its executed brilliantly. Cinco de Mayo is the first heist episode not on Halloween and its my third favorite. Mainly because I always root for terry since he always gets underestimated or made fun of during the heists. The Golden Child brings Lin-Manuel Miranda, another B99 celebrity fan, in as Amy's brother and its a lot of fun to watch Jake play the straight man whereas we see Amy being the crazy competitive one with Lin being up to the challenge as well. Craig Robinson makes a welcome return as Doug Judy, and The Honeypot is another hilarious Jake and Holt episode. The season ends really strong with Sicko and The Suicide Squad, bringing back Caleb the cannibal, Wuntch, The Vulture, and CJ. CJ is still a bit much but the others are all a hoot. It was nice to see Wuntch on the right side of things for once and we yet again see why Jake is considered the best and brightest of the 99 with his plan to take down John Kelly. The season doesn't have a cliffhanger, more a rejigging of the 99 dynamic with Holt being demoted to patrol officer temporarily.

Overall, it still a fun season. But the four episodes that didn't work bring the grade down a bit. Its a 7.5/10 overall. Now, onto season 7 with just days left before season 8 begins.

[98prilla]

Gray

Previous

AO3

Part three of what I’m dubbing my “dark side logan” series. 

Patton is having a bout of depression after everything that has changed in the mindscape, and his own failures as a friend. Ambition decides to visit for a talk. 

….

He is having a “gray day”.  

 It doesn’t happen often, though it happens more than it used to. He’s trying to let himself feel all his emotions, even when they hurt, or make him feel bad, because repression doesn’t help, he knows this, now.  

 So, it is a gray a day. A day where the sparkling sepia of his room is gone, dimmed, the comforting aura of summer days and childhood nostalgia shifting into cold winters and soft regrets. A day where nothing seems bright, or good, or happy. A day where everything and anything brings tears to his eyes, so he doesn’t leave his room, because even that takes too much energy.

 Instead, he is laying atop his bed, not even under the blankets, staring blankly up at the ceiling. He can feel the fat drops of tears slipping down his face, but he doesn’t move to wipe them away. He is numb, more than anything else, he is numb against the pain as he turns up the volume on his ear buds.

 It’s Logan’s playlist. Listening makes him feel worse, makes the numbness recede enough for the ache to set in, and he doesn’t know which is worse. Feeling nothing or everything.

 Still, a smile slips through as the elements song plays, reminding him of when Logan would quietly hum it to himself, remembering the pride in his voice as he recited it from memory for the first time, having listened to it endlessly on repeat after Thomas had heard it in science class. Roman had given him a standing ovation.

 In the next breath, his small joy turns to burning shame as Erase Me plays. It is so obvious, had been so obvious, that Logan was hurting, that he was hurting so, so badly. He is emotion, he is supposed to know what the others are feeling, he is supposed to help them, he knew Logan was having a hard time, he knew he was in pain, and he hadn’t said anything, hadn’t stepped in, because, what?

 He was afraid? Afraid of offending Logan, afraid of pushing him away, afraid of breaching his privacy, afraid of making him even more unlikely to share his feelings in the future?

 He’d done a terrible job at being Logan’s friend. He hadn’t listened to him, had never acknowledged his contributions, had belittled and talked over him until he didn’t even see the point in speaking anymore.  

 And now it is too quiet. The silence follows him everywhere. He misses coming into the kitchen, Logan already sipping his tea, book open in front of him. He misses being in the commons, Logan idly sharing factoids about whatever is on the television, or spouting information from whatever topic he’s currently researching, he misses Logan’s quiet and steady presence, misses his grounding influence, misses the way he was always, always there.

 He wishes he’d given Logan even half of the care Logan had given them. He wishes he’d put aside his own stupid doubts and talked to him sooner. He wishes he’d ever taken a second to ask Logan if he was ok, because he knew that he wasn’t.

 But it doesn’t matter anymore. Logan left.

That brings another wave of tears down his face, and he rolls over onto his side, hiding his face against his pillow as he sobs silently, clutching to his chest his scrapbook, the one with a picture of the four of them on the cover, and he can’t bring himself to open it, even, to look at them, happy and together, and wonder if Logan had actually been happy in any of them.

 He knows it is selfish, this mourning, because Logan isn’t gone, gone, not really. And as much as he’s mourning for all the willfully ignorant hurt they put Logan through, that’s only half of why he feels like this.

 The other half is because he knows that Logan is happier now. He knows that Deceit will take care of him, that Remus will protect him. He knows Ambition will have long debates about philosophy with Deceit, that don’t end in frustration and anger but in mutual appreciation. He knows Remus will drag him outdoors, and Ambition will appreciate the complexness of his creatures, probably fill binders full of notebooks with scientific observations and notes about their behaviors and physiology.

 It’s selfish and low of him and he hates himself for it, but he aches because he knows that Ambition is happier. And he’s sorry, so desperately, endlessly, sorry, that it took Logan leaving to force him to see how badly he needed someone, anyone, to reach out to him.

 He doesn’t realize what he’s doing until he’s already doing it. Because if he thinks about this, he will lose his nerve, and he won’t do that again, won’t hesitate now, when last time it cost him one of his best friends.

 He feels their eyes on him as soon as he pops up, hovering uncertainly in the entryway, not wanting to intrude on their space, because this is their space, and he’s been shitty enough to them in the past, the very least he can do is simply respect them.

 “Patton.” Deceit’s voice is surprised, tinted with an edge of concern, and a fair bit of suspicion. Which is fair, honestly, given everything between them. Everything that happened with Logan.

 “Lookin pretty disheveled, Daddio, did someone show you a good time?” Remus asks, exchanging a worried glance with Deceit as Patton doesn’t react at all to his comment.

 “I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. About… about the callback, and the wedding. Not… all of it, but there could have been a compromise, there could have been something else there, and I wasn’t willing to listen. I never listen and I should and you should be heard and not just dismissed. I… I screwed everything up. I’m sorry.”

 “Patton, are you alright? Not that I don’t appreciate the apology and enjoy you finally broadening your horizons a little, but…”

 “But you look like shit. And not the fun kind.”

 “didn’t know there was a fun kind.” He murmurs, voice wavering, and they exchange another wide eyed look of alarm as Patton chokes back a gasping sob, one hand flying to cover his mouth, the other wrapping tight around his middle in an almost hug.

 “remus. I’m sorry I dismiss your ideas right away. I’m sorry I don’t take you more seriously. I’m sorry I classified you as bad and Roman as good. You’re not bad, you're just you, always and unapologetically, and that’s not bad, that’s brave. I’m proud of you, kiddo. I’m… I’m proud of both of you, not… not that that probably means much to either of you. I don’t think it should mean much of anything, anymore.”

 “Patton. Please. What’s wrong?” There’s a desperate edge to Deceit’s voice, that makes him hesitate for just a moment, but it’s not their problem, and it shouldn’t be and he’d said what he came to say.

 “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” He whispers. He sinks out before the noise building in his chest can escape his lips, before the pain can turn itself into sound, before he says or does something that makes them feel obligated to care.

 He collapses back onto his bed, this time pulling the covers up over his head, burying his face in the scarf he’d dug out of the closet earlier, holding it tight to his chest and curling around it, barely able to gasp in air through the fit of tears shaking him to the core, because it was Logan’s scarf, from his Sherlock outfit.

 He wants those days back, more than anything, he wants just one more silly roleplaying adventure of Watson and Sherlock, running around the mindscape solving mysteries, driving the other sides up the wall with their antics, it was one of the few times Logan let himself be seen having fun, had showed himself loosening up, ruddy cheeked and breathless as he accused Roman of drinking the last of the orange juice and putting the empty carton back in the fridge while he gasped in surprised horror at the crime, or tracking down Virgil’s lost head phones, interviewing suspects, until their path led them to under the couch, where they’d been accidentally kicked to after Virgil had set them down on the floor.

 He misses Logan’s smiles, his small, proud smile, when they all learned something, his soft, stricken smile when he learned something, his tight lipped, frustrated smile, his grinning, rare, wild smile, his soft voice, his loud voice, his frustration, his joy, he misses it, misses it, misses it.

 He slips his ear buds back in, numbing nothingness cresting back over him as he breathes in the scent of Logan, pressed laundry and sun warmed wood, the playlist starting back up at Equation, from the Little Prince. Surprisingly, one of Logan’s favorites. He wonders if it still is.

 …

“So… that wasn’t normal, right? I’m not going even more mad, that just happened, right?” Remus asks, eyes flicking between Deceit and where Patton had just been standing.

 “Whatever it was, it was… sincere. The only part that was a lie, was-“

 “him being ok? Yeah, that doesn’t take a genius to figure out.” Deceit frowns, looking at Remus, who quickly looks away.

 “Remus. He meant every word he said about you.”

 “Who did?” They both look a bit guilty as they look at Cygnus, who is looking at them with an eyebrow raised.

 “Patton.” Remus blurts out, and Cygnus inhales sharply, eyes narrowing.

 “What did he say? I told them to stay away from you, if he hurt you, I swear-“

 “Cyg. He… apologized. To the both of us. He looked… very bad, honestly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Patton acting so… un patton like.” Deceit interrupts, before Cygnus can get riled up even more. Instantly, he relaxes slightly, though his gaze is still puzzled.

 “I… is he… ok?” Deceit bites his lip and Remus shakes his head firmly.”

 “No. no, he’s not, he’s really, really not.” Cygnus takes a deep breath in, reaching to readjust glasses that are no longer there. Old habits are hard to break.

 “It’s ok to still care about them, lovely. It’s ok to go visit. And I think… I think Patton has some things he wants to say, now. And I think it would be good for you to hear them.” Cygnus hesitates, before smiling smally, shaking his head.

 “alright. You’re right, as always. I… will be back shortly. I suppose.” Cygnus shoots them a small, brave smile, before vanishing.

…

 He doesn’t know how long he’s been laying here. The music has long since gone dead, but he doesn’t have the will to turn on something else, or to start it again. He’s replaying Ambition’s words over and over.

 He was right. In that moment, all he had been afraid of was being left alone to handle Roman and Virgil. He can’t do it on his own, he can’t do it alone, and he’s not the perfect pinnacle of light, he knows this, more deeply than probably the others realize, and how could he not have noticed Logan was gone for five whole days?

 There’s no excuse. He doesn’t have one, wouldn’t even attempt to produce one, because there are no words that can justify that lack of attention. He’s been a terrible, awful, horrible friend.

 “I’m not mad. I could never be mad, at what you did. You… you did what was best, for you. And you’re happy now. You’re… you’re taken care of and listened to and all the things we didn’t do for you but should have. I’m happy for you, I am! I’m just… I’m sad for me.” His voice wavers, breaking, because he knows how selfish that is, how terrible it sounds, after everything, but it’s the truth, and he won’t give anything less to Ambition.

 He hears Ambition let out a soft, low breath, feels the bed dip down as Ambition sits on the edge, and he curls tighter underneath the covers, glad he’s already spent all his tears for the day, already emptied himself out.

 “i’m sad. I’m so, brokenly, sad. Because I should have known. I should have said something. I should have been there, for you. And I wasn’t. I haven’t been. And I miss…” his voice cracks and he is proven wrong, more tears slipping down his face as he swallows, “I miss you. It’s selfish and stupid, and I know it, but I miss you. And I wish…” He can’t finish his sentence. He’s so choked up he can barely breathe. He doesn’t need to, he supposes. Ambition can already tell, better than he can put into words what exactly he wishes.

 “oh, Patton.” Ambition murmurs, the softness in his voice only makes him cry harder, because he doesn’t deserve that, not from Ambition.

 Cygnus doesn’t know what to do. He can feel everything Patton wishes and wants, and it is a conflicting cacophony of sorrow and hope and want and fear.

 He wants everything to go back to the way it was, but he wants Ambition to be heard. He wants Logan back. He doesn’t want Logan back if he’s going to be unhappy. He wants to hate Deceit and Remus for taking away Logan, but he knows it isn’t their fault, he loves them for taking care of Ambition, loves them for loving Ambition as he should be loved, he wishes he didn’t wish for any of this, he wishes he didn’t feel at all, he wishes he could just somehow fix everything even though he knows that’s impossible.

 Above and beyond all of it, all of the turmoil, is one singular burning wish.

 He wants Ambition to know he still loves him, even if Ambition hates him, as he has every right to. Nothing could stop Patton from loving him.

 “I’m sorry this is what it took, for you to be listened to. To be happy. I’m sorry I didn’t give you what you needed. I’m sorry I wasn’t good. I’m sorry I didn’t notice. I’m sorry I didn’t care. And I’m sorry that I’m sorry because being sorry now seems like too little too late!” He sobs, not looking up as he feels the blanket being gently folded over, his head now exposed from under the covers, and he feels Ambition freeze for a moment, at the sight of him.

 He must look a mess. He doesn’t care, it doesn’t matter, he just… doesn’t know, anymore, doesn’t know what he feels or wants to feel or wants at all, because everything he wants he can’t have, he doesn’t want Logan back at the expense of Ambition’s wellbeing and mental health, he wants Ambition to be happy, he wants Logan back, he can’t want both, but he does, and it hurts, and he deserves the hurt, because this surely must be what Logan was feeling before he left.

 “Patton. I’m still here. I’m still me. My role has changed, yes, but not my personality. I’m still here.”

 “I know. And it should make me feel better, but it doesn’t, because I know now that I don’t know anything about you, I never took the time to really truly know you, and I know this… guilt and shame, it doesn’t help anything, it doesn’t make up for anything, it’s nothing but selfish, but I can’t help it, because I hurt you!” he swipes at his eyes, having sat up during his outburst, legs pulled to his chest. “I hurt you. And I’m sorry. And that’s not enough. I know it isn’t. But it’s all I have.” He whispers, head against his knees, eyes closed as he tries to take a shuddering breath, tries to calm himself before he breaks completely.  

 “Patton. I don’t… I don’t hate you. I know I was harsh, with you especially, but I don’t hate you. I was angry. I still am, a bit, and I’m hurt, but I don’t hate you, Patton.” He feels Ambition carefully wrap an arm around his shoulders, and before he can stop himself, he lets out a pained cry, folding against Ambition’s side, burying his head against his side, crying harder as Ambition’s other arm encircles him in a soft embrace.

 “s-sorry, I’m s-s-sorry, you sh-shouldn’t have to b-be here right now, I’m n-n-not your problem.” He chokes out, shame bubbling in him because he can’t bring himself to pull away, even though he should. Instead, Ambition just holds him closer, letting him sob himself dry once more, until he is barely sniffling, exhaustion cresting over him, that almost wonderful numbness creeping back into his bones, settling into a depressed apathy.

 “You’re right. You’re not my problem. But I would like to still be your friend. I don’t mean to be antagonistic. I still want to work with everyone. None of that changes.” Ambition replies.

 “y-you d-do? S-still want to b-b-be friends?” he asks, brokenly, looking up at Ambition’s mismatched eyes, lip trembling, and he’s so utterly miserable that Ambition doesn’t think he could say no if he tried his hardest. But he doesn’t want to.  

 “yes. I do, Patton. Deceit and Remus are my family now. They love me like family should, take care of me like family should, that’s what I needed, that’s why I moved, because I needed to put myself first and take care of myself for once. You failed, as my family.” He flinches, but he doesn’t say otherwise, because Ambition is right, they did, he did, and it hurts, but it should. “but I think we will do better as just friends, instead of family. I think not living together anymore will help alleviate some of our problems. Will help me be listened to, more. And If I am not listened to by you all, I won’t be as frustrated because I know Deceit and Remus will.”

 “I’m sorry.” He whispers, because that’s all he can muster, as lame and lackluster as it is, it’s all he can say, because he had enough chances to do something about it and hadn’t. “I want to do better, I want to be better, I want… I want whatever you’re willing to give me, I…” he doesn’t realize his eyes are slipping shut as he feels Ambition gently stroking his hair.

 “I know, Pat. I’m not… I’m not going to give you everything, right away. I might never give you my name. But I will give you another chance, to start over. To… to try again.”

 “I wouldn’t ask anything more from you. I wouldn’t even ask that of you.” He mumbles, barely aware anymore, because this feels so good, it unties something inside of him, it gives him hope that things can get better, that they will get better. It is one tiny ray of light that cuts through the gray.

 “What you said, to Deceit and Remus… why?” He swallows hard.

 “because I should have said it sooner. I hesitated with you. I broke the last of what we had. I won’t do that again, I won’t ignore that again, I won’t… I won’t let anyone else be hurt like I hurt you.”

 “I… that’s good, Patton. That’s a good first step, to making things right. It tells me you mean it, when you say you want to be better. You’re willing to actually put in the work and the time to change for the better. I know that isn’t easy.” Ambition’s voice is a rumble against him, and he feels him pulling away.

 He wants to grab hold, to not let go, to be held tight and close until he falls asleep and wakes up well rested for the first time in nearly a week, but he desperately tries not to want that, because then Ambition will know that he wants that, and he won’t ask Ambition for it, because he hasn’t earned that closeness with him.

 He hears Ambition sigh softly as he tucks him in, managing to peek his eyes open as he feels Ambition softly tuck his hair back behind his ear. There are so many more words he wants to say, but he doesn’t need to say them, because Ambition already knows.

 “I love you.” He mumbles instead, because it’s still true, will always be true, no matter what, he loves them all.

 “I know. If… if you wish, once you are rested, you should come have a longer conversation with Deceit and Remus. I think everyone would benefit.”

 “ok.” He whispers. Ambition hesitates in the doorway, before stepping out into the hall, closing the door softly as Patton’s eyes slip closed. He freezes as he hears another door open, eyes meeting Virgil’s.

 He stays frozen as Virgil approaches, unable to read anything from him, he is keeping his thoughts so controlled that he can glean nothing from him, even as he stands right before him, fiddling with his hoodie ties, dark hair hiding his face.

 “hey.” Virgil says softly, hesitating. “he… he doing okay?” Virgil finishes, nodding towards Patton’s door.

 “He’s… doing better. We talked. I… it helped, I think.” Virgil nods, biting his lip, hand on the doorknob, pausing before he turns it, looking back at Ambition with hesitant trepidation.

 “Are… are you doing okay?” Ambition smiles smally, looking down at the ground.

 “yes. More than ok, in fact.”

 “Good. I… that’s good. They… Deceit and Remus… they’re doing alright with all of this too, yeah?” That gives Ambition pause, there’s something to unpack there, but he doesn’t know what exactly it is, and now isn’t the time to pry.

 “They’re fine, Virgil. We all are.” Virgil winces a bit, at the use of “we”, rubbing his forehead in the way he only does when he’s overwhelmed or frustrated or both.

 “cool. I… just… it’s goodtoseeyou,Ambition.” He stumbles out, then he’s in Patton’s room and the door is closed and Ambition is left staring at the closed door, wondering what exactly that was all about.

 Perhaps he’ll ask Deceit and Remus for their side of the story later, now that Patton is on the road to doing ok. At least he didn’t seem angry anymore, just… off.

 For now, he has to get Deceit and Remus ready for a longer visit from Patton. He doesn’t know how they’ll react, but a conversation is necessary. And he thinks they are all ready for it. Ready to start moving forwards. To start being… better.

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

~hello~ !! For the meta asks!: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, and 25 :))

Hello!! Thank you for sending these; I was really excited to see that ask game and I was hoping somebody would send some in. It still took me a while to actually answer them though, and for that I apologise. But without further ado! Some meta answers (under the cut because they ended up being fairly long, whoops):

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (Consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway.)

I thought of a few examples, but they could basically be grouped together under a common theme: whumpy/angsty scenes that were self-indulgent as all heck. The whole self-indulgent aspect often required the characters to be just the teeniest, tiniest bit OOC and/or necessitated rather unrealistic plot circumstances. So it was simply easier to keep such scenes as maladaptive daydreams, rather than trying to think of explanations for the character/plot issues…or exposing myself to judgement for them LOL.

Receiving permission to write/share one such scene anyway is an opportunity I can’t let slip by though. It might be because I’m writing this while running on zero (0) hours of sleep—let’s hear it for insomnia, y’all!—but I suddenly couldn’t remember any of my newer ideas under this category. However, I did recall a one-shot I had started writing a couple of months ago that sort of counts? “Sort of” because I could actually be arsed to write it since I was, ya know, writing it. Only got about six hundred words down though.

…should I share those six hundred words…?

………nahhh. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

But here’s the gist of it: Coulson and May (because of course it’s Philinda) were married for quite some time before the Attack on New York. But then Coulson DiedTM and then got ResurrectedTM. But gasp of horror, he had to lose his memories of his romantic relationship with May because reasons. (I actually did have some ideas for those reasons but sshhhh this is about me yeeting context and setup.)

The first half of S1 still happens as normal (except MayWard doesn’t happen because??? Vows) and it’s now post-E20 “Nothing Personal”. The morning after (or a morning soon after, whatever) the T.A.H.I.T.I. reveal! May’s mom—who doesn’t know about GH.325 and whom May fed a cover story about Coulson divorcing her or something equally as oof, IDK—shows up at the hotel and starts ripping into Coulson for breaking her daughter’s heart, then dragging her back into the field with her ex-husband (him), then accusing her of terrible things and forcing her away again.

Poor guy’s confused as heck, and so is the team, and soon enough so is Lian. The only one who understands what’s going on is May, and she’s freaking dying off to the side like why is this happening to me and eventually everybody’s like! Explain??? (Was thinking about including something from Coulson like, “Are you still keeping things from me?” Just for that extra smidge of angst, yay!)

So yeah then May gives a, like, two-sentence debriefing that elicits more questions than answers. Coulson decides to take May aside and they have a heart-to-heart. Lots of feelings and angst and hurt/comfort and at some point plenty of kissing too. Just! May hiding her feelings for Coulson’s sake but really magnified, plus some actual apologies and consideration of the grief May’s been through on Coulson’s part.

And uhh yeah that’s basically it I dunno hdsjncjshd. I warned y’all it’s OOC, plot-bendy, and very self-indulgent!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I don’t think I could name a single character for this. I get different things out of taking on different voices, you know? I guess recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards more taciturn and introspective points of view, like JQ from my original novel Rosewood or M. Yisbon from my…other original novel Temple.

Generally, however, I like tackling stories from an outsider’s perspective. That’s why I so rarely write my more “substantial” (serious? demanding? for lack of better words?) projects from the PoV of my “preferred” character. This usually means writing from their love interest’s perspective, but not always. With shorter fanfic, using a more removed/unconventional/niche PoV can be really fun. Like, I once wrote a canon compliant ficlet purely(-ish) about Philinda from Tony Stark’s perspective. That isn’t always sustainable with stories that demand more character development or closer character studies, however, which is why it’s a good thing I like writing drabbles!

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

My word counts tend to run long, but I usually only write one-shots for fanfic. If I’m even inspired with a novella- or novel-length story idea for a fandom, you already know I’m in deep with them. And if I actually find the motivation to plan and execute that idea? Dangg. That’s only ever happened…twice, maybe thrice, and I’m in a lot of fandoms.

At times, I wish I could go for more of a middle ground ’cause, like, you know what I love to see? An AO3 dashboard with several completed novellas for my ship/character of choice. I mean yes, I hecking love >90k fics, but sometimes I’m in the mood for quick reads…and what am I supposed to do when I burn through all the drabbles and 2k one-shots? (Besides despair and/or reread my faves desperately.) Novellas are basically always safe for me LOL, and I’d hope to be able to give as much as I take.

Ultimately though, I think I’m okay with where I am with regards to that. I wish I could write more in general, but I’d be okay with “writing more” just meaning “writing more one-shots”, ya know? More than okay, really. I have mad respect for fic writers who have, like, a hundred or more one-shots under their belt for this one ship. The fandom ecosystem would be incomplete without them (as well as every other type of writer, but sshhh that’s the type of writer I’m closest to being right now).

I’m definitely a plotter, and I definitely prefer it that way. It’s cool having such a detailed record of my process. I like feeling like a frazzled genius on the brink of a major discovery with all of my different outlines and colour coding and many drafts and various websites.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Not exactly. It might be cool if my original works were recognisable in the world, but I don’t think I’d want to be recognisable. As for fanfic, I’d low-key enjoy gaining a place in that fandom’s community as a fic writer. Like someone who gave and got fic gifts from fic writer friends, who participated in challenges and GCs, who received writing prompts on Tumblr, whose name was known for doing a certain trope/genre a bunch of times… Ya know what I mean?

Unlikely to happen when I’m so hecking hesitant to publicly (i.e., outside of AO3) claim credit for my writing, but fjnskfsjhfjs. A writer can dream, right?

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Of those three, tags are the easiest for me, for I have a reliable system for figuring out those.

Next easiest would probably be titles. For fanfiction, I like to use titles that are a quote from the source material. You should have seen all of my old Hamilton fanfic… I was really proud of some of those titles. And I don’t mean, like, whole lines—usually only two to five words. It’s a unique type of wordplay that I just love dabbling in.

And lastly, summaries. Sometimes inspiration strikes me and a snappy and intriguing synopsis just jumps out—one that I’m quietly pleased with—but most of the time I’ll spend way too long trying to think of such a synopsis and eventually just go with whatever I’d come up with so far. And live with my quiet dissatisfaction for the rest of time.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (Plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations...?) Tell us about them!

Typically, no. If I have deleted scenes, I save and publish them separately, but that’s about it. I sometimes think of AUs for my own work and might talk about them in my author’s notes—might even talk about writing them—but I never really do anything with them.

Although…

It’s not uncommon for me to decide a plotline isn’t working for a certain story or to think of an interesting but undoable arc for a certain character, but what I’ll do is make a whole new story for those ideas. Once I’m done developing the original idea and the branched-off one, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell they grew from the same roots. Does that count?

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as (film, webcomic, animated series, etc.)?

That depends on the story. I’ve actually written stories in other mediums—movie screenplay, musical stageplay, poetry, TV show scripts, play scripts, roleplay—but the novel does tend to be my comfort zone. Sometimes, if I have an idea that I think could work, or would even work better, as another medium, I’ll label it as such in my folder of ideas and decide not to write it as a novel.

Most of the time, my non-book projects are collaborations. I’m working with five different people on six different story ideas: two webcomics, one stage musical, one anime, and two animated TV shows. Little concrete progress has been made in any of those, mind you, but they’re still fun to discuss!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Absolutely. But I’ve been writing stories since I was five years old, so we would hope so, huh?

I wouldn’t say my writing’s changed completely, though maybe that’s just my insider’s perspective.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’d make me choose. Writing is just such a wonderful experience for me; I love just about everything to do with it. Admittedly, not all the time, but. Since that barely qualifies as an answer, however, I’ll give you this—

The endings. Not only that intense feeling of rightness when you wrap up that last sentence, but also the moments before. The adrenaline of knowing you’re almost there but you gotta push just a bit more to actually get there. And also the part right after—the real wrap-up, honestly: the revision and the editing. Heavens, I love revising and editing my work.

Which is not to say I don’t like writing it out for the first time, too—there’s nothing quite like seeing your cursor scroll to the next page, like going from a blank expanse to a Oh man, how many more lines are even going to fit on this page?, like watching that page counter tick up another number. However, there’s something cathartic about finally ironing out those problems I had to force myself to stop worrying about earlier because “just finish the first draft dangit”.

I guess that’s not really the end of the writing process, but whatever. Close enough (as fic writers are wont to say).

Another thank-you for these asks, and feel free to come back with more at any time! ;P

Send in fun meta asks for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

[coffeebeannate]

Taken from @werebearbearbar

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works (fics, art, edits, etc.) you’ve created this year and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in  2020. If you don’t have five published works, that’s fine! Include ideas/drafts/whatever you like that you’ve worked on/thought about, and talk a little about them instead! Remember, this is all about self-love and positive enthusiasm, so fuck the rules if you need to. Have fun, and tag as many fellow creators as you like so they can share the love! <3

I started writing fic years and years ago. And have done so in other fandoms before taking a long hiatus from the writing world in general. I stuck with written roleplay only. For  what I assume to be around four or five years, I did not write a single fic. (I also wrote short stories in childhood, teen years and young adult years)

(I want to point out though that this absolutely does not negate roleplay writing, and that writing with another person, or in a group is a lesser form) My break from fanfic came with one of the worst periods of my mental and physical health, and everything I had written was purged from my Ao3 account in a single night.

I started writing for The Old Guard in August, and below, are the things I like a lot that I’ve written for it. To do this, I decided to use the criteria of ‘fics I like the most’ instead of what seems to be the most popular to read. For me, if I really love a piece of work, I recall the creative process fondly, and have lines and bits of dialogue I truly adore within it.

1. Precision Mission Fic. Gala. Post-Movie. Current Group (Nile, Andy, Joe, NIcky)

Rated  M (Mature) 4846 words

My second fic for the fandom that I published, but the first I actually conceptualized. This one is just..so special to me. I have phone notes typed at five am. I can recall the excitement as I was so eager to share this story and get it off the ground. I wanted to see this complete so bad. I loved nearly every second of writing it, and it’s always going to hold a special place in my heart as a result. There’s so much overdone clothing talk and I can only think of it with fondness. 

Excerpt:

None of them are comfortable. Except Joe, it seems.

Joe makes it look easy. Simplistic, even, judging by the way he effortlessly glides and charms his way through the expansive ball/congregating/entertaining room. Something that never failed to fascinate Nicky was the way Joe could integrate himself almost seamlessly into any scenario, situation, or environment. Neither Andy nor himself had that ability. Not when it came to cavorting, anyway. Nicky more quietly reserved, Andy lacking in the ability to care enough to fake it.

Nile seemed to be more in the middle. She did not appear overly comfortable with the mingling, but she had enough personal grace and adaptability to make it seem somewhat effortless to have a decent time.

All their eyes remained sharp on the surrounding area, awaiting the arrival of their target. And for all his schmoozing, Nicky knew Joe’s surveillance was tack-sharp, multitasking to a degree no one he was currently conversing with could have possibly noticed.

“You going to move at some point, or have you taken up permanent resident status here?” Nile asks, appearing at his side where Nicky has spent the last half-hour molded to the furthest left corner of the solid black bar. “I know you have an excellent view, but.”

Nicky snorted, though only Nile could actually tell, “Why waste a good opportunity?”, momentarily ceasing his Joe watching to stare back into the depths of his glass, which currently contained some horrifically shocking pink abomination, Nicky’s second drink, since he was letting the bar tender dictate them, too utterly distracted to care what was touching his lips, and curious with the way the bar tender had delighted in being given free reign to make whatever he desired.

To be fair, it didn’t taste that bad-something frighteningly sugary and weirdly noxious smelling, but it’s not exactly ‘crime against humanity’ levels of alcoholic nightmares.

--

2. Old

Post-movie. Current Group. (Andy, Nile, Joe, Nicky) Mortal Andy. Character study.

Rated T (Teen and Up Audiences), 2903 words.

My first attempt at Andy-centric writing. Andy is a character I consider a challenge to write, and that makes me want to write her more. This fic centers mostly around her and the others trying to come to terms with how much has happened, within day to day life and taking the comfort that they can in one another.

I really like this fic. A lot. Sure it’s short. Sure maybe not much happens, but Andy’s character fascinates me, as does her relationship with her family.

Excerpt:

Old.

Old

Old

So motherfucking old.

Someone is calling out to her, her hearing and senses long fine-tuned to knowing. It’s Nicky- she can easily pretend she can’t hear him, he knows when she doesn’t want to talk to anyone, after all.

She’s being petty, and she knows it’s unfair. That the nearly untouched plate and nights spent not sleeping gives them reason to be at her. But facing them with that fact feels about as ideal as jumping into a flaming volcano right about now. They’re just worried. It makes her stomach turn, sour and vicious. Venom in the gut, acid in the heart.

Said volcano would be kinder.

--

3. Spice it Up (Or Not)

Joe and Nicky. Pre-Movie. Fluffy Lovings

Rated: E (Explicit) 3030 words

This one was just fun. I am such a sucker for banting, and the most established of established relationships that Nicky and Joe have going on. This one is indeed not safe for work, and honestly, the opening paragraphs are what came first, and I actually had to build the story around it.

Something that I think makes this fic fun to me as well is that, just because something that sounded like a good idea fails, it doesn’t make it an ending. Healthy communication, knowing each other..it’s so blissful to think about.

Things aren’t always perfect, but that’s okay. And it’s not always a threat. Oh and because this is me, what was supposed to be fairly light hearted gets all sappy and reflective mid-way.

Excerpt:

He knows Nicky in every way. He knows his scent from battle, from sex, from showers and from sleep. He knows his eyes in darkness, in light, in dread, excitement and worry. He knows his grief, his love, his sadness, and adoration. Excitement, passion, fear, and pain.

He could count each tear that Nicky has shed, could recall each tone of his voice in every language they know. From the first he heard to the current. The sweet harmony of song and the rough gasp of drunk intoxication. He’s heard him yell, heard him scream. Heard his shouts and his cries.

He knows how Nicky tends to favour his left shoulder even though there’s no reason beyond psychological to do so. A spot Joe stabbed so long ago. So far back in another life. He knows how he likes to pause and do surveillance before they enter any new location. Knows he likes vehicles that move fast and has a fondness for roller coasters.

He’s seen those hands, so large and skilled break bone, wield a sword and cut vegetables and fruit. Seen them card through his hair, felt them map out each knot and ridge in his spine and ribs, felt them so deep inside himself he can taste it. Rolling into it. Demanding, needing.

“Yusuf.” Nicky’s not calling him back, Nicky’s just as far gone. So often they seem to share thoughts.

Nicky knows Joe in all ways and more. Knows that Joe still sometimes seems to speak ancient by-gone languages in his sleep. Knows that he tends to carry the strongest personal scent in the dead of night. That no shower, no soap, no life experience or battle has truly ever masked the delightful musk he has to himself. There could be a cologne out there that would modify it, and Nicky would bite and lick it away. Demanding and asking, why take this from me? How dare you try to alter what I know and love so furiously?

--

4. Touch Before Heart

Historical Kaysanova. Early Years. Pre-Movie. Getting to Know Eachother.

Rated E (Explicit) 5030 words

As is pretty obvious by now, I write a LOT of early years Kaysanova. A lot. I am addicted to it.

This one..I love it. This might be one of my favourite pieces of writing of all time. If I was doing these numbers strictly in order preference, then I’d put it as number one I bet.

I think the summary I made for it sums up well just how much I love it. And maybe why.

The first moment they’re able to have a bath, they resolutely do not look at each other. Picking opposite ends of the small stream bed, backs turned to one another. A strange show of both trust and distrust; their backs were exposed, but it was up to their tentative mutual agreement to not partake in the opportunity to stab each other for it.

The..idea that they had so much to learn, so much to understand. So much confusion, anger mistrust..I just really really adore this fic and I think I did a good  job with it.

Excerpt:

He curses in unison with Nicolò, both holding fast and steady as the thing finally rights itself, Nicolò letting out a slow, shaken breath of relief.

“Are you alright?” Yusuf asks, both to break the silence and mend the irritating gap they’ve created for themselves.

“Better. Thank you.”

Yusuf wants to scream.

He wants to grab Nicolò, shake him until he can do nothing but give him answers.

Why do you drive me to the brink of madness?

Why do I know your touch, but not your heart?

Why do you tempt me, consume me?

What does it mean?

Why are we here?

Why!?

It is an unfair desire; he’s hardly given the man any more clarity.

--

5. Curated

Post-Movie. Current Group (Nile, Andy, Joe, Nicky)

Rated G (General Audiences) 1807 words

Alright, I admit it, I had trouble picking number five. I picked Curated because it’s just..so fluffy. But it’s so sweet I always feel so sugary when I think of it. The softness that I tried to convey, and I think I succeeded.

Nile is another character that fascinates me, that  I just do not explore enough, and this is all the comforting goodness I could ever hope to create.

Excerpt: 

She’s grown used to the easy intimacy they all share, but the sight before her, Nicky’s eyes half-lidded, face a perfect serenity she rarely see’s on it, Joe lost, far-away in reciting but still wholly present, creates an odd, near-throbbing ache in her chest. Something powerful and raw. It’s hard to imagine that people who have been alive this long can be this content.

Everything they’ve seen, experienced and done. All the stories they’ve regaled her with. All the prep, the anxieties, the concerns, and curiosities. None of it seems to exist in these moments. Joe speaking in a language the world might think dead, the true master of softness within the room.

--

And there we have it! I have so much more I want to write, I have so much more I want to explore, and I thank you all for sharing in these journey’s with me. May there be more writing in our future!

[jq37]

oh WOW that new bloodkeep ep

**spoilers for family in freefall bloodlines and lifelines**

Man this episode was a lot. Probably my fave of the season so far.

Brennan seems to have an M.O. in terms of plotting things. They way we got a focus on each character in a stressful situation reminded me a lot of Family in Flames from the FH season which came at about the same point in the story.

Anyway, we start with Brennan giving the most unnecessarily verbose description of falling ever.

I am actually not sure how big Lilith is supposed to be in relation to everyone else at this point. Or how big her kids are supposed to be. I thought the really young ones were like straight spiders but like Jessa and the boy who’s name I’m forgetting were centaur style like her. But like, idk. 

Efink insisting that she’s still holding the wheel (even though it truly means nothing) was so funny.

Both Matt and Brennan do very good re-entry sound effects.

Brennan: Feel free to do nothing.

Rekha: *SLAMS that induce labor button with no hesitation*

Truly amazing

“You feel your fire break.”

Leiland falling to his doom while bossa nova music plays in the background and rolling his eyes at Maggie is iconic.

Everyone is dying and Sohkbar is just like, fine.

Lilith polymorphs into a full ass spider.

Even though it ended up going sideways (literally) not a bad plan from Markus.

Brennan is so good at scene setting exposition.

Erika acted the hell out of that moment when she and Sohkbar share a look before she tells Russel everything is gonna be OK. She didn’t have to but she did that for us.

The wheel that steers nothing metaphor was such a good turn of phrase from Bren.

Efink’s DOUBLE NAT ONES.

WOOOOOW.

Rekha goes, “THIS is the bad day,” with Kristen Bell’s inflection and I am reminded that it has not even been a full 24 hours in game since ep 1. Wild.

Anyway, Efink’s norn spirit things disappear which is what happens when you roll snake eyes I guess. Amy is legit tearing up.

Brennan’s throwaway joke of explaining story structure low key killed me.

Leiland gets advantage on perception and rolls a nat 20!

Are all of the Vingury just gay for the next person in their chain of command? Because that’s what it seems like.

Matt’s flustered Leiland as Miles implies ~things~ is adorable.

Animal handling 2, electric boogaloo. I love that joke.

Maggie is so OP. Maggie hits the ground and isn’t even at half HP. Leiland is knocked into negatives though.

His first death save is a nat 1. WHICH IS 2 FAILURES. I was so stressed.

Then J'er'em'ih rolls a nat 20 to go save him!

I love the phrase, “J'er'em'ih’s normal form” as if he has a normal anything.

“J'er'em'ihdeserves the credit.”

Anyway J'er'em'ih(w/ an assist from Sohkbar) saves Leiland!

Rekha was so concerned for John. Like, not even Maggie. Rekha.

“It’s gonna be an egg!?”

Samantha Eagles. (Of the Philadelphia Eagles?) I died at that line.

Maggie levels up and gets healing magic. (“Fuck yeah!” says Maggie.) John stabilizes.

The fact that Maggie thought it might be an egg makes me concerned that she maybe isn’t ready to be a mom.

I love that Maggie just wordlessly presents her baby to Lilith (the alpha mom of the group) like a kid showing their mom and art project.

OK, this is such a tiny moment but I love, love, love that Maggie has a good enough relationship with Lilith that when she heard what she thought was a threat to her baby, she just asked, “Is that a threat to the baby?” instead of attacking her or going *Maggie will remember that* and harboring mistrust. The way she asked was so adorable. Also, Lilith would never.

Markus floats basically the exact same plan as Lilith (defect to good, get pardons) but at least he uses it as a plan of true last resort.

Lilith being the keeper of basically all of Efink’s self esteem is great. Also, everyone has to keep reminding her that she is queen.

“As the resident magnificent failure.”

“Allow me to be the basis for your self comparison. That’s the best I can offer you.” LEILAAAAAAAND.

Anyway, Leiland gives a great pep talk to Efink who throws her spell cards over her shoulder irl (”it’s an RP episode. it’s fine”).

Amy to Brennan who is about to start roasting Efink’s entire life: Don’t do this.

So when Brennan said, “Efink gets to decide right now if she’s good at magic.” I was thinking, that’s a big thing to put in a PC’s hands unless you want the answer to be yes. Because, in another story, “No,” might be the better answer narratively, but who’s gonna voluntarily nerf themselves like that?

So Efink dips into an episode of Friendship is Magic which Brennan beautifully picks up the narration for and gets the info they need without rolling for it. She also has some major self actualization and is now dry, less vain, and less dramatic.

It kinda seems like this was leading towards Lilith being the new leader what with her thoughts while she was falling and her being passed up for the promotion but, come on. She would have to make a crazy soul rending deal to just take the crown normally and she has kids and common sense. Otherwise, I think Erika would have made that play.

“Is my son a different player than me?” I love Rekha.

Like Leiland, I fully thought she was gonna name the kids John at first. (Are you ‘allowed’ to jr. a kid who isn’t named after you or your spouse? I’ve never seen someone do that. As in, add the jr., not name a kid after a friend).

I love that Matt roleplays Leiland into so many awkward moments. A good RP-er doesn’t care about their character being cool all the time.

“I’m naming him after the name of yours that I prefer.” That was so sweet.

“First of all, J'er'em'ih’s an excellent judge of character.”

Everyone coming together to make Leiland feel better was so so sweet. These guys are like the exact opposite of murder hobos in a game where they 100% have the right to be.

The baby tells Leiland to kneel and he just does it because of course he does. (Leiland later: I HAVE A VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS)

Maggie after Leiland swears total fealty to Leiland Jr: Can’t you keep anything at like 80%?

Efink rolls a nat 20 on her check to navigate the Bloodkeep, basically completing her self actualization arc.

Leiland resists the urge to chase Hamhead, completing a portion of his arc.

The running thing of people giving Maggie biologically incorrect info on kids because of their drastically different biology.

Aww all of Lilith’s kids.

Lilith dispel magicking the book golem, implying she could have done that at any time and just chose not to.

Leiland apologizes to Maggie for being bitchy to her out of jealously, which I thought was sweet but was just the warm up act for what was about to happen.

But, before that, Maggie’s dad calls and Efink hangs up on him for her. For a second I thought that cutting off the call meant we wouldn’t get to see what was behind the doors but, luckily, that wasn’t the case.

(Also Sohkbar and Lilith eating popcorn as Maggie and her dad fight).

Did Efink appoint herself high adviser?

“Please don’t bite him,” *Leiland Jr. bites a spider*

So, anyway, Leiland and Maggie go into the portal and see visions of (1) weird sex between Zaul and Lilith and (more importantly), (2) Zaul bagging on Maggie when she’s not around/thirsting after Leiland when he’s not around.

The simile about winning the lottery after you find out money can’t buy you happiness was so good.

“What a fucking pig!”/“I agree.”/“Oh, do you?”/“Actually I do.”

I’M SO PROUD OF THEM.

Instead of being mad at Leiland (or Lilith for that matter) she just doubled down on being mad at her dickhead ex. And Leiland, instead of being all winner winner chicken dinner just felt bad for Maggie and Decklan.

“Was this something the baby should have seen?”/“No.”

“This is one of the lesser times it’s bad to say your father’s name.” Yikes Leiland.

Anyway, the whole hang makes plans to take Sohkbar shopping and it really fits in with the theme of this ep of everyone boosting everyone’s self esteem. This ep has a lot of genuinely heartwarming moments.

“Sohkbar yes. Sohkbar yes. Sohkbar yes.”

“What did you roll? [28] You see everything.”

Leiland Jr. as new king seems like a questionable decision imo but I’m not gonna backseat RP.

“You guys start engaging in a fun conversation about statecraft.”

“Lilith, I’d like a hug.” Lilith hugs her and kicks her legs up like she’s in the climax of a romcom.

The whole group hugs and Brennan calls them out and has a NPC call them out, even though he’s the person who led them to this path!

Man, the promo for this ep really made it sound more dire and less heartwarming that it actually was.

YOU’RE DEFINING GOOD

“Imagine there’s 9 squares in a grid.” TRAPP

That like 20 seconds had so many good lines. “We’re cutting out the middle man and taking evil straight to you.”/“We’re evolving evil.”/“We’re disrupting evil.”

Now that I think about it, they really haven’t escaped the bloodkeep so far, have they? They’ve been going back and forth between it but not really trying to escape it per se. 

Olag is back because, again, of course he is.

Final battle y'all!

Sounds like we’re getting actual Gollum next week so that should be fun. Also, very curious to see what that last, “No,” is in response to. These guys are good at cutting trailers so it could be nothing serious, but who knows?

[r6shippingdelivery]

Hey there! ♥ If you have some time and inspiration... can you do the whole ABC thing for Glaz? ♥ I never find anything similar about him and I really love your HC's ♥

Well, someone is popular! 😄I got these two almost immediately after reblogging the pertinent post, and before that I already got this ask 😂Hey op, seeing my same icon really confused me, for a moment lmao

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s very affectionate, cuddling and kissing his partner, caressing their arms or thighs. That has led to round 2 more than once 😄 If not, he will make sure both of them are clean and comfortable.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Glaz is proud of his body, but after being called a pretty boy more than once, he’s quite aware that his good looks work in his favour. That’s the main reason he usually shaves his beard, unless his partner states they like it. When it comes to his partners, Glaz has a particular weakness for the ass, loves touching the ass, getting a handful of those plump buttcheeks and push his partner closer for a kiss. Well toned arms are also a great turn on.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

When it starts to dry it’s a nasty mess, but otherwise Glaz is fascinated by seeing his cum (or his partner’s) splattered over their bodies. It reminds him of paint on a canvas, and he finds a certain artistic appeal to it.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There’s a secret sketch book he’d rather die before showing it to anyone. He draws porn of his teammates and colleagues. Of his crush and/or partner mostly, solo or with him pure fanatsising or from memories of things they’ve done; but also from other colleagues, people he thinks could be a couple too, it’s fascinating and helps him with anatomy practice. Plus, it hurts nobody as long as the drawings never see the light of day, right?

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He has some experience, not as much as he’d like but he’s not a blushing, innocent boy. So idk, average experience I guess?

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

For fast paced sex, he prefers doggy style or a variant, a position where he can take his partner from behind and pound into them. For more drawn out and sensual intercourse, spooning position to caress his partner’s body as he pleases, or good old missionary, so he can look into his partner’s face and kiss them. He’s also fond of lap sex: him sitting on the couch and his partner straddling his lap, getting hot and intimate with lots of kissing and petting, although then they have to take care to not stain the couch with their activities.

No visual aid cause Tumblr is a christian server now and would flag my post.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s not a goofy person, although he takes things with some humour to defuse the situation if there’s any tension. However, he’s mainly a mix of serious and pretty focused on his partner during sex.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s naturally not very hairy, so he usuallydoesn’t need to do much grooming, just trimming a bit from time to time.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

He’s a man of few words, but he has no problems letting his partner know how much he loves them, and will look adoringly at them if the position allows face to face contact. He has a romantic side.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When he masturbates, he usually doesn’t draw it out for long, except for those times he’s alone at night and he might edge himself until he can’t take it anymore.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Glaz is a biter, loves marking up his partner and doesn’t mind if they mark him back as well. I feel compelled to say he’s also into trying to have sex in empty but public spaces, like the common showers, or in the middle of a field during a camping trip, or behind in the training grounds if there’s nobody else around look, I wrote him like that more than once, I think I have to include it

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere relatively private, although nothing trumps the comfort of their bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Whisper filth in his ear and you’ll make him go from 0 to 100 in a moment. It works even at the most inappropriate places. Under his calm exterior, he is a horny boi.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never roleplay a rape scene, the moment he hears his partner mildly distressed he would stop, safeword be damned. Generally, nothing that can really hurt either of them (spanking is fine in that regard, but not too extreme, choking is out of the question, etc)

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He loves to receive and has no problem reciprocating, although he sometimes tries to push deeper and makestheir partner gag. He feels bad about it but can’t control himself.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

That depends on his mood and whether they’re going for a quick romp or if there’s time to take things slow. As a rule, he’ll start slow and sensual and graduallly pick up the pace until he ends going fast and deep.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Did I already say he’s a horny boy and likes taking some risks? He’s more than fine with quickies, but also loves proper sex, turning it almost into a marathon and seeing for how long they can go at it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s open to trying new things, as long as both he and his partner are totally okay with it. And for the risks, the risk of possible discovery is mainly what he dabbles in, risk of injury is not something that appeals to him.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

If it’s not a quickie, he can last long. He’s also an enthusiast of going for a second round after a little wait, and that downtime is perfect to keep worshipping his partner and make sure they’re as horny for it as him.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He has a few toys, and he sometimesuses them, but he prefers using them on his partner, as a warm up for sex or as part of his teasing during foreplay.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Yes, he’s a fucking tease. From heated looks, “accidental” touches and caresses, and whispered dirty talk, he likes to have his partner burning for it long before they start to undress. And once in bed he’ll continue teasing. He loves watching his partner go mad with lust and pleasure, and if they beg that’s the icing on the cake.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not very loud, but he makes some pretty moans, espcially when he’s nearing orgasm. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

While Glaz has no problem letting his partner take control if that’s what they like, being the dominant one comes naturally to him. Which can surprise his partner the first few times, since his gentle approach and almost shy demeanor might make them think he’d be easy to lead around. Boy, they are in for a surprise!

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Slightly above average, nothing that will make his partner pale at the thought of taking it in. It curves slightly upward when erect.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He’s young-ish and horny, keeps a sorta innocent appearance but he’s ready to go nearly always. I introduced the concept of sex fiend Glaz  a long time ago and I love it, so it fucking stays okay? xD

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

Unless they’ve been at it for many rounds or he was tired from before, he prefers to enjoy the afterglow awake. Don’t expect much pillow talk, though.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #373

“Dawn vs Karla, Trender Arrives, Porygon”

[Splender] - Is pouting because of how much it's raining.  He can't go and play with the kids because of it

[Ringleader] - Come on Splender, it'll be alright.  The sun will come back soon

[Mirabella] - Splender, I'm sure the children are fine

[Solace] -Is unbothered by the rain- The children are definitely fine, Splendor. Don't you worry,

[Splender] - But we were going to play hide and seek!

[Mirabella] Shakes her head a little-

[Splender] Perks a little- Oh!

[Luna] - Is everything alright Splender?

[Splender] - Trender's coming!

[Solace] That's wonderful! I was wondering who was next.

[Splender] Moves and makes an opening for Trender, smiling happily-

[Trender] Comes through, he's far from happy- Splender...

[Splender] - Trender!

[Trender] - WHY ON EARTH DID YOU GO THROUGH MY WORKROOM!  YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A SPECIFIC CUPBOARD FOR YOU TO USE!

[Splenderr] Yelps and backs down a little-

[Mirabella] Grows nervous-

[Trender] - What use could you possibly have for a bunch of thread and plain cloth!

[Splender] - Er, well...

[Trender] Turns around ready to rage more- I cannot believe you would go and...  Mother?

[Mirabella] - Hello Trender

[Trender] - Er, but, what?

[Solace] We found mom! -Jazz hands-

[Trender] - ...   How!?

[Splender] - Doc did it!

[Mirabella] Smiles a little at her sons interactions-

[Trender] Is already judging Mirabella's clothes and how he's going to make them better-

[Mirabella] - I recognize that look Trender

[Trender] Scoffs a little-

[Splender] - Solace, are you ready to go?

[Solace] I suppose so. And be gentle with mom, Trender!

[Trender] - Why wouldn't I be?

[Luna] Moves to stand with Solace-

[Splender] - Just let us know if you ever want to come back Solace!

[Solace] Oh definitely.

[Solace] Come Luna. -Steps through portal-

[Luna] Follows Solace through and Splender closes the portal behind them-

[Splender] Then hugs Trender- I'm sorry about going into your workshop!

[Trender] - Why did you even do that?

[Mirabella] - I'm sorry, he was getting some things for me

[Trender] - Your embroidery, I see...

[Mirabella] - Please, sit Trender, there's so much I want to hear from you

-It's been a few days and Deer has calmed down enough that it has stopped storming, but she's now pacing the hallway by the shrine, her mind filled with worry and concern-

[Yaunfen] Sneaks up - Mom?

[Deer] - Hm?  Yes Yaunfen?

[Yaunfen] Holds out a rather toasty mushroom with what looks like blueberries embedded in the top. - I warmed up another fossil. I planted some of them already. Do you want one? The analyser says it's a blushberry mushmuffin.

[Deer] - Sure, I'll try it.  Thank you.  Do you know where your Mada is?- She takes the offered food and tries a bite

[Yaunfen] They're in the lab... we got another stinky failure plant and the floor got all wet.

[Deer] - I see, join me while I walk there?

[Yaunfen] Sure! - They pull out a bit of gold carmel and chew on it while following her.

[Deer] Heads down to the lab- Doc?  Love?

[Doc] Is wielding a sponge at the last small bit of water. - Oh hey!

[Yaunfen] Goes uder the stairs and plays with Waffles ears a bit because they're sleepy.

[Deer] - Love, I've been feeling some really odd energy surges today

[Doc] Oh dear... you don't think Cp is going to have one of his fits again, do you?

[Deer] - No, I don't recognize who it's coming from, but it is coming from the vicinity of Lie's place

[Doc] Okay... I'll go check it out. You should go see Yaunfen's little garden, it's looking pretty good today.

[Deer] - Could you, take Dawn with you?  I'm probably just being paranoid, but it would make me feel better...

[Doc] -sighs- ... Okay... if I must. - They set off up the stairs already dialing their phone.

[Deer] - Yaunfen, why don't you show me your garden?

[Yaunfen] Yus.

[Doc] Has walked halfway to Lie's and is on the phone, xe doesn't notice the big shadow that's trailing hir-

[Dawn] Yeah... I guess I can come over. It's the middle of the night here you know?

[Doc] I'm sorry. Deerheart is just agitated and it's not good to second-guess her intuition. - Xe makes a hole and stands in front ot it.

[Dawn] Emerges with a yawn. She's wearing a long black bathrobe with pajama pants underneath and a pair of flip flops. - You wake me up this is what you get. And- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???

[Doc] Spins in alarm-

[Exeggutor] Grins at them mischeviously-

[Doc] You scared me... it's a pokemon. One of mine.

[Dawn] I'm not going to question you owning a walking palm tree.

[Doc] It's psychic too. - Leading the way-

[Dawn] Of course it is...

[Lie] Is in her lava pool in the workroom, she is actually naked which is basically CP's way of keeping her there for the moment-

[Doc] Happens to look up as they pass, and hollers- Hey Cp?

[CP] Is up on top of his tree- What?

[Doc] Deerheart said she was detecting some energy surges, are you feeling okay?

[CP] - I'm fine for the time being

[Doc] Okay then... Anyone else having issues?

[CP] - Weeeeeeell

[Dawn] Yawns again- We're listening.

[Doc] At least come down here.

[CP] - I'd rather stay up here, Lie's...  Kinda on a different level of crazy right now

[Dawn] Well we know where the surges are coming from then....

[Doc] That's an interesting twist of fate.

[CP] - Yeah, I don't know how to handle that right now, so I left it to Karla

[Dawn] Little hiss- You left her alone with that..?

[CP] - ...  Yes!

[Doc] Should I be worried about this?

[Dawn] Come on- Pulls Doc to the door.

[Exeggutor] Ambles after them and presses up against the glass to see inside.

[Lie] Is low in the lava, her hair spilling out of the tub and a brush abandoned nearby-

[Doc] Oh! Sorry Lie. I didn't realize you were taking a bath.

[Dawn]-eyebrows- That looks... warm...

[Lie] - CP put me here

[Doc] Um... why?

[Lie] - So I wouldn't go anywhere

[Dawn] That's a bit rude.

[Lie] - He's been doing it a lot more lately when he can't find somebody to keep an eye on me

[Dawn] Do I dare ask why someone would need to keep an eye on an adult woman?

[Karla] Leaning on a wall- Because she keeps wandering off.

[Lie] - It's not my fault!  My brain just keeps forgetting what I'm doing or where I'm going!  And Dawn?  Why are you wearing that?

[Dawn] Because I was sleeping. And this one- thumbs at Doc- Dragged me out of bed.

[Doc] Hey!

[Lie] Grumbles- At least your wearing clothes...

[Doc] To be fair, we could pull you out, but Cp is hotter then I am and much better to clean you up.

[Lie] - No need- She pulls her arm out of the lava, watching the molten rock slide off without hardening

[Doc] OH.

[Dawn] Is that... not normal for you?

[Karla] Her core temperature is rising. Possibly just because the baby wants her to stay in the heat.

[Lie] - Normally lava will harden on me

[Dawn] Beats being burned.

[Lie] - And he hid the rest of my clothes so he'd be sure I'd stay here

-Outside some of her wolves start barking a little and Lie immediately saddens-

[Doc] Glances and sees her expression- Lie...

[Dawn] There has to be a better way to handle this.

[Lie] Sniffs a little- Still no sign of them Doc?

[Doc] Looks down - No... I think we may have to assume the worst...

[Lie] - Oh...- She sinks a little lower into the water, a few tears running down her face

[Karla] Gives the others a look that clearly shows today has been a rollercoaster ride, and not in a good way.

[Lie] Her emotions suddenly switch and she starts getting mad- I want to destroy that damn thing...

[Dawn] Ooookay.

[Karla] I like your tone, but I don't think now is the best time to attempt such a thing.

[Doc] Visibly frightened-

[Lie] - But it's a threat and it took my wolves and it could potentially harm my baby!

[Doc] But Lie... you're not the target here. And I think it took the wolves just because they were covenient.

[Lie] Frowns a little- I know but...  I need to make sure she's safe- Her hands come to rest on her belly

[Karla] She's got some pretty fierce protectors Lie.

[Lie] - I know...

[CP] Mentally to Doc- Is she calming down any?

[Doc] Thinks hard - She's just all over the place....

[Exeggutor] Ferocious nodding from below the tree- Eeeeexxxxxxx

[Hope] Trots into the room and starts sniffing Dawn-

[CP] - So no change, got it

[Blake] Pees on the base of Cp's tree-

[Dawn] Picks up the cat- aww, hello there.

[Lie] - That's Hope

[Hope] Little mews and bats-

[CP] - What do you want Blake?

[Dawn] Good name. - pets the cat-

[Blake] Urf- Tail thump on the ground-

[CP] - I'm betting your hungry again...

[Lie] - She was a gift from a friend after a little...  Incident

[Doc] Chuckles- That was funny. You shoulda seen your face-

[Lie] - I'm surprised you remember considering how sick you were that night

[Doc] Yeah... that was a bad time...

[Karla] Some kind of drunken debauchery?

[Dawn] Sits on one of the spare beds and puts Hope in her lap-

[Lie] - My ever so intelligent husband gave Doc blood poisoning

[Dawn] How in the world...?

[Doc] Because he was a dirty little cat with dirty claws and he scratched me.

[Lie] - Where is CP anyways?

[Doc] You'd never believe it.

[Lie] - Why?

[Hope] Rolls onto her back-

[Dawn] Plays with her little feet gently-

[Doc] Because he's hiding.

[Lie] - Why would he be hiding?

[Karla] He's hiding... from you.

[Lie] - I don't get it...

[CP] Floats down to check on Blake-

[Doc] Your erratic behavior freaks him out. You're actually scaring him.

[Blake] Happy wagging and dashing around Cp-

[Lie] - I don't mean too...- She's starting to feel bad and it can be felt through the red stone hearts

[Dawn] It's obvious he's just worried about you.

[Karla] He's also used to you being the mild one, when your temper flares like that I think he's unclear on how to respond.

[Lie] - I don't mean too!

[CP] Heads for the house, assuming Blake wants food-

[Doc] Easy Lie, we know you're not doing it on purpose. Cp is just... he's scared. He wants you to be safe and the baby too.

[CP] Opens the door, ushering Blake in-

[Lie] - I know, and I know how much this is stressing him too...

[Karla] Nods to Cp- It's hormones. You're creating a whole new person from scratch. It's a lot of stress on everything, even for a digital demi-goddess.

[Blake] Sees Dawn and stops short. He bares his teeth at her and hides behind Cp-

[CP] - Knock it off Blake

[Hope] Perks as she watches Blake-

[Blake] Turns his back on Dawn and sits down-

[Dawn] It's okay. He has good reasons not to like me. I'm not taking it personally.

[Lie] - CP...

[CP] - Feeling any better?

[Lie] - I don't know...

[Doc] So, crisis averted? For now?

[Dawn] Can I go back to bed please?

[Lie] - Sorry for causing you to come out here Dawn...

[Dawn] Gives a small wave- I just had a long day... and I did a house cleansing for a friend of a friend the night before.

[Lie] - Do you wanna just take a bed here for now?

[CP] Tosses Blake some food-

[Dawn] Yeah... I guess... Can you call Mort so he doesn't worry?

[Doc] I'll take care of it-

[Blake] nom nom nom

[Lie] - CP, shirt

[CP] - After I feed your animals for the night

-When morning comes, Lie is moving about trying to make breakfast. She's already forgotten the eggs-

[Dawn] Wakes up with a long shuddering gasp that sounds like a mummy arising from the dead.

[Karla] Is still asleep. Or so she seems to be... she might just be thinking with her eyes closed.

[Blake] Growls at Dawn-

[Lie] - Knock it off Blake, that's not nice

[CP] Comes down into the workroom with CN following-

-Hope and AVulpix are curled up at Dawn's feet, RVulpix is hunkered down by Lie's feet-

[Dawn] Gives him a pitying look- He can be angry. I won't deny him that.

[CP] Looks in the furnaces- Lie?  What are you making?

[Lie] - Bacon and eggs

[CP] - ...  Then why is there chicken in the furnace?

[Dawn] Umm... maybe I should help.

[Blake] Will absolutely eat the chicken and gives Cp a hopeful look-

[Lie] Becomes flushed in embarrassment- I put that in there a couple days ago...

[CP] Sighs, pulls it out and tosses it to Blake-

[Blake] Excited woof and messy devouring.

[Karla] Wakes because of the grisly sound. - Guten morgan...

[Dawn] Annoyed look-

[Lie] - Morning Karla

[Hope] Is considering trying to sneak a piece of chicken from Blake-

[Blake] Has made such a mess Hope could just pick it up off the floor. If it was blood, it might look like something else....

[CP] Is looking for the actual bacon and eggs-

[Lie] Looks at CN- Feeling any better?

[CN] - I'm still coughing a little...

[Dawn] A bit of warm steam might help that.

[Lie] - Good point, maybe you should spend time in the bath house today CN

[CN] - But I can only use the cold tub

[Hope] Grabs a little of the chicken-

[Dawn] But you can sit next to it. You just need the steam.

[Karla] Decides to help Cp-

[CN] - Okay

[CP] - Damn, need to run out to the chicken coop real quick...

[Karla] Has found the potatoes -

[RVulpix] Sneaks over towards AVulpix to share in their stolen spoils-

[CP] - Lie?  Stay.

[Lie] - I'm not a dog!

[CP] - No but you currently like wandering, I'll be right back

[Dawn] I'll keep an eye on her.

[Lie] Huffs a little-

[Karla] It's adorable how worried he is.

[Dawn] You would think that.

[Lie] - It is different for him, usually I'm the one running around getting the food ready.  He doesn't have that much experience at it

[Karla] Shrugs- He's not a child. You could teach him.

[Dawn] Grinds her teeth saying it - She's kinda right. You'll need the help later on. You think this kid is draining you now, it's nothing compared to once they come out.

[Lie] - Ironically, once the kid comes out CP will actually have more experience than me.  He raised Stevie, but it was during a time when the game was far simpler.  By the way Dawn, are you okay?  You sounded a bit weird when you woke up...

[Dawn] Colors a little - It's... it's always like that. I'm - She flicks her eyes at Karla, unwilling to discuss it in front of her- I'm resetting.

[Karla] Unpleasant grin- Ah, don't wish to give up your secrets so easily, is that it?

[Lie] - Says the one prodding at the secrets to becoming digital

[Karla] I'll take any advantage I can get.

[Dawn] YOU'RE WHAT?!? That was not part of the deal!

[Karla] Only because you didn't know it was possible.

[Dawn] Fuming-

[Lie] - Deal?

[Dawn] It's the only reason she's still standing here!

[Karla] Mean laugh-

[Lie] - Okay?

[CP] Comes back with a few stacks of eggs- I think a couple chickens got out again

[Dawn] She's supposed to guard that damn tree and stay out of trouble! If Ever hadn't vouched for her-

[Karla] Looms over her- You'd what? Do it yourself? Make him do it? I don't think so.

[Lie] - Well, I mean...  The tree is safe here?

[CP] - I think I missed something...

[Dawn] It's bad enough she's on the internet! Who knows how much damage she could cause if she could just go anywhere in an instant?!

[Karla] Wider grin- How much indeed? How many locked door murders....

[CP] - Murder does sound good right now...

[Lie] - CP no!

[Karla] See? He understands.

[Dawn] THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY.

[CP] - Murdering that town was fun...

[Lie] Groans in annoyance-

[CN] - Are you sure we can't kick him out?

[Lie] - Be nice CN

[Karla] It was.

[Dawn] YOU WHAT?!?!

[Lie] - These two had fun...  Admittedly the house had just been destroyed...

[Dawn] I... I'm going outside before I say something lethal. - stalks out into the yard-

[Karla] The really funny thing is that she means that literally. Such power...

[Lie] - We've seen...

[CP] - Lie...  Where do we store the spare eggs?

[Lie] - Food chest in the main room

[CP] - Why all the way up there?

[Lie] - Closer to the bedroom?

[Karla] No luck in shaking down the chickens Cp?

[CP] - Too much luck- He rolls out a bunch of eggs onto the trunk in front of him

[Karla] Those are some very productive chickens.

[Lie] - They lay a few eggs every day, if you just throw the egg you have a chance of a chick popping out

[Dawn] Comes back inside, looking slightly calmer-

[Karla] Lobs an egg at her and the chick pops out as it hits her chest.

[Dawn] Immediately turns bright red in the face and storms out again.

[Chick] Running in circles on the floor.

[Lie] - Karla!

[CP] - I'll go find some seeds- Heads upstairs

[Chick] Follows Cp because he said 'seeds'-

[Karla] What? It was funny.

[Lie] - Did you have to throw it at Dawn though?

[Karla] shrugs- You have plenty of eggs. And she needs to lighten up anyway. She's like a hermit with no sense of humor.

[Lie] Just sighs-

[CP] Walks past again leading the chick out to go throw it in the chicken coop- I see you trying to sneak Blake, no

[Chick] Falls down the hole into Cp's private space instead.

[Blake] Barks down the hole-

[CP] - Oh for fucks sake!

[Lie] Checks on the food- Well at least breakfast smells good

[Karla] Is just laughing now-

[CP] Goes down and just grabs the chick in his hands before carrying it outside-

[Chick] Lots of peeping.

[Blake] Looks disappointed because he wanted to play some more.

[Dawn] Stops pacing to look at Cp, one of her eyes is weirdly cloudy and dark-

[CP] Cocks a brow- Careful, your eye is starting to look like a NOTCH'S

[Dawn] Blinks it away hurriedly. - She just makes me so mad... that woman is a born griefer. Makes me feel like I shouldn't have let her go.

[CP] - Well she is on a server for griefers...

[Dawn] She's a terrible person. I know you probably think she's fun because she aggravates people, but... honestly. She has this evil about her. It's a feeling I've only encountered a few times.

[CP] - You think everyone here hasn't encountered such things?  I probably lived amongst it

[Dawn] It's not the same. The closest I've felt recently... was Slender.

[CP] - I think the thing that snuck onto the server has him beat

[Dawn] Huffs a little- It's partly her attitude. And currently I'm not picking up on anything different then the last time I was here.

[CP] - Weird...  The servers can't find anything either.  And, at least to me, Karla is less annoying than Doc

[Dawn] That's because you're a cat. Doc chases after you because they want to be your friend. Karla just sits still and you get closer because you're curious.

[CP] Growls a little, not liking being called a cat-

[Dawn] It wasn't meant as an insult.

[Winston] Is starting to make the morning rounds to check on everyone-

[CP] - Still doesn't mean that I like it

[Dawn] Eyes immediatly drawn to the skeleton. - Friend of yours?

[Chick] peep?

[CP] - My top general- Heads for the chicken coop

[Dawn] Ah. And the spider person sneaking up on him?

[CP] - That would be Chester

[Chester] Uses his new height to put a small black hat on Winston and hop onto the roof of the house before he can react. It's knitted decently well and only slightly lopsided.

[Winston] Takes it off with a slight shake of his head- Good morning Chester

[Chester] Working on my knitting, what do you think? It matches your gray.

[Dawn] Well he seems friendly enough.

[Winston] - It is decently made, but I have no use for it

[CP] - He's completely smitten with his mate- Throws the chick into the coop

[Dawn] Is calming talking about something happy.

[Chester] Oh, okay. Hey... new person??? - scuttles straight down the wall and comes over. - Good morning sir!

[CP] - Morning Chester, is everything alright in the nest?

[Chester] It's wonderful. All cozy and warm. I still think we should get a couch for some color, but Eliza said no.

[CP] - Probably for the best, by the way, this is Dawn, a friend of Doc's

[Dawn] Nice to meet you Chester.

[Chester] Did you come to help with the baby like the other lady?

[Dawn] More or less. My witchery does include some midwife skills.

[Chester] You're a witch miss?

[Dawn] Yes.

[Chester] Eyes flick to Cp to see if he's being rude- but.. you're not green.

[CP] - Wouldn't the baby just pop into existence like it did for Aven?

[Dawn] Slightly annoyed. - Human witches aren't green. That's offensive.

[Chester] Sorry!

[Dawn] And we don't know that. Aven is a different type of entity then Lie is.

[CP] - True, and Lie was human more recently than Aven...  But isn't the human method of birth painful?

[Dawn] Extremely painful. There will be blood, and it's not unusual for women to soil themselves as well. They're not only giving birth, but also having the inner lining of an organ slough off and be pushed out. She'll scream, and probably say some rather colorful things to you that she won't mean.

[Chester] Looks extremely freaked out- My gods! Poor Lie!

[CP] - So go out and get her some really strong meds?

[Dawn] That's not safe for the baby, or her really. If she passed out while the baby wasn't fully out, it could strangle or worse.

[CP] - I'd rather she not be in pain!  But...  I don't want my daughter in harms way either...

[Dawn] No one wants her to hurt, but that's part of having a baby. It's a huge commitment.

[CP] Just isn't sure what to think now-

[Chester] Isn't there any way to make it easier???

[Dawn] Well... there is one old trick that might reduce the stress a bit.

[CP] - Which would be?

[Dawn] It's pretty simple really. You give birth in a water tub. The warm water helps ease the mothers muscles to get the baby out with less tearing and the baby is already in fluid inside her, so it's less traumatic for the little one too.

[CP] - But doesn't the baby need to breathe!?

[Dawn] Like I said, it's already in fluid. Babies don't take a breath until they hit air. You just can't cut the cord until you lift them out of the water.

[CP] - ...  Cord?

[Dawn] Yeah. That's how she's feeding the baby. It's connected to a little cord that pumps food in and waste out.

[Chester] That's so weird...

[CP] - But...  Then where does everything go?

[Dawn] Same place it goes for Lie? The baby is getting a percentage of what she eats and making a contribution to whatever waste she makes as well.

[CP] - Well then it's getting a lot of cheese

[Dawn] -shrugs- I think the variety of food is less important here then irl.

[CP] - Yeah, but it's what Lie's been craving

[Dawn] Pregnant women usually have weird cravings. There's no real pattern to it.

[CP] - It will be a bit funny to see how she reacts to the cheese once she's given birth, she hated it before the pregnancy

[Dawn] And she may hate it again, if only because she's made herself sick of it.

[Chester] snickers- then Cp will feel lucky because he won't have to keep going out to get more of it.

[CP] - I think TLOT and Doc will be more relieved than me

- Earlier that morning- [Doc] Is woken up by the same ruckus that's caused hir to lose sleep three times that week already. With a resigned groan Xe gets out of bed. They scrawl a quick note for Deerheart and slip off the server.-

[Deer] Is curled up in the bed not wanting to get up quite yet-

[Doc] Comes back in and notices her sleeping. They tuck the blankets around her and make an attempt to sneak out of the room that is utterly foiled by them bumping into LH sleeping on the stairs-

[LH] MOW!

[Deer] - Love, come back to bed...

[Doc] Oh, you're awake. Sorry. I just needed to take care of something.

[Deer] Sits up a little- What was it?

[Doc] I traded the Goomy. It wasn't happy and I was sick of being woke up by it trying to fight everything.

[Deer] - I see...  Well, at least whoever it's new trainer is will have a good pokemon.  Did you get anything in return?

[Doc] Actually yes. I found something you might like. - They take out a little pokeball and and open it near the bed.

-The creature that emerges looks right at home in their resolution. It almost looks like a childs toy duck. It's rosy pink and blue and blinks white octagon eyes at Deerheart.

[Doc] It's called a Porygon, it's an artifical pokemon.

[Porygon] Does a weird scooting roll on the covers and makes a small electrical sound-

[Deer] - How interesting, well, we have to at least make sure it gets settled in properly here

[Doc] Apparently they were made specifically to travel in cyberspace. So if you work with it, it may be a quick way through the void if you need to go somewhere. They're also genderless. It's old tech for even the Pokemon games. They don't breathe, or eat, but they will take food if you offer.

[Porygon] Scoots over to Deerheart and bumps her hand with it's wedge beak like a curious bird.

[Deer] - Good to know, welcome to the family Porygon

[Porygon] Beep?

[Doc] Gives it a pat on the head.

[Porygon] happy noise-

[Deer] - Well, since we're up, why don't we get some breakfast

[bucklemonster]

The Disappearance of Matthew the Roleplaying Scientist.

Story I wrote: The Disappearance of Matthew the Roleplaying Scientist. Mattheus or Matthew as friends call him is a 31 year old scientist working for Elon Musk's Neural Link. He is also skilled at meditation and lucid dreaming. Matthew also experimented with micro-dosing shrooms, LSD, anti-depressants, etc. He was very careful with it and refuses to experiment with it anymore as reducing and stopping the doses made him feel empty inside.

He never went to any parties in the "real" human world, most of his friends are online, as he likes to role play. Matthew likes to go online, there he can shed his 31 year old nerdy hairy body and become anything he likes.

It is there he meets other people, role playing in a fantasy world, doing whatever they want. The only limits are text and images. So Matthew grew a new interest. He wanted to go further. He wanted to break the limits of text, imagery and fantasy. Perhaps he could find a way, to share experiences, emotions, feelings and more. He wanted to share memories, ideas, thoughts, intuitions. Going further then mere scents, taste, vision, sensation and sound.

Lucky for Matthew he knew how to access and travel trough the 7th realm using meditation. The 7th realm is the dream realm. It is one island floating in the middle of a space. On that Island is a Mountain. On top of that mountain lives Holy Qilin, the Ouroboros, the dragon, the snake, the ruler of the upper part of the 7th realm. Around the Mountain are the Whispering Woods. Around the Island float the Elder Beings in space. They blow dream-bubbles for all the living creatures that can dream. It is there where people project their innerworlds onto the bubbles and have dreams. It is where we go to when dreaming. Every Saturday evening Matthew would gather up his online friends, together they would meditate using voice chat. They would go to the 7th realm. There they could alter their bodies in whatever they wished. They found a field within the Whispering Woods. They named it the Festivity Field. First they had a small party amongst friends. It was small but mind bending as they could sent good feelings to each other and amplify, multiply them. It was pure euphoria. They could not stop talking about it online how amazing it felt, how life changing the experience was. Soon trough Reddit, Facebook and Discord severs their weekly party grew into a brain-bending music festival. They called their festival: The New Sunset.

Artists would perform and create music simply using their minds. They would invent new sounds. Sometimes they would invent new colourful light emitting instruments but they would only be there for visual show, as in the 7th realm music, emotions and ideas could be shared from mind to mind, telepathically. Some artists that never had any musical talent in our realm, the second realm, would be great artists in the 7th realm. Music could be combined with visions, scents, tastes and more.

People would do dances that were anatomically impossible and change in different colours.

People that were musically talented in the "real world", the second realm would often fail to gain an audience in the 7th realm. They could not compete with the individuals that invented new sound-waves, new beats, new feelings and a lot more with their music.

People would shape-shift in whatever they wanted. What started as a group of humans became a festival filled with demons, angels, cat-girls, talking horses, cyborgs floating geometrical signs and much much more.

Matthew was pleased to see what he had started. He would dress-up in a clothing that resembled that of a pope. Matthew would call himself a king. Every-time the Festival would start he would stand on an altar he created out of thin air and shout: "Those whom shall live greet you!" However Holy Qilin, the dragon that floats above the mountain was disturbed by all this noise.

Qilin flew towards the Festivity Field and blew the party members away with his golden flames. As Qilin is a Holy creature, the flames filled the humans with a euphoria they never experienced before. Qilin blew them so hard away the humans flew from the island into the space of the 7th realm. There they floated in the darkness together with the Elder Gods. The humans were shocked to see such a horrible looking creatures but the Elder Gods meant no harm. The humans saw other humans floating with their eyes closed. They saw how the Elder Gods blew bubbles out of there oozing beaks. They saw how the humans with closed eyes floated into the spheres, where they would wake up. The inside of the bubbles would change into another world, a world similar to our realm, the second realm. Yet the world inside the bubbles would be loose, the humans that woke in the bubbles would do all sorts of things. They would be thrown into a lot of absurd situations.

The partying humans understood they had discovered where people go when they dream. Then the partying humans woke up back into our world, the second realm.

Matthew would often go the 7th realm to converse with the Elder Gods. As the Elder Gods find it entertaining to watch people dreaming, they were curious how Matthews parties would look like.

Matthew started a new festival. This time they would gather in the space of the 7th realm, not at the Festivity Field. They called their Festivals: The Nights of the New Dreams.

Now the party-goers would enter the dream bubbles the Elder Gods created for them.

Inside the humans could change the environment in whatever they wanted. No longer would the festival be a field, they would create places like giant blue castles, snowy mountains, green jungles. They would have parties in dungeons, volcanoes and graveyards under the full moon.  

The humans would share emotions telepathically that created an effect similar to drugs. The Elder Gods were glad to see the creativity of the humans. The Elder Gods like to watch them have fun just as we like to see hamsters play in their cages.

During the week, Matthew works with the other scientist, to develop a brain chip.

His colleagues call him mad and crazy. They don't understand his fascination with role-play and they remain sceptical about his stories of the 7th realm. His colleagues want to help people with epilepsy or people whom have paralysed limbs.

Matthew believes that using a brain chip he can connect with the 7th realm and stay connected with it forever. He could communicate with others, and party while he was doing his job in our world. He could perhaps find a way to make our brains purely digital, that way we would not need sleep anymore and we could live, party and work almost forever. We would be like a machine, we could save our consciousness and copy and paste it. That way we could expend our lives until the machine breaks down or the memories get corrupted.

Matthew dreams about building multiple humanoid robots he can move with his own mind. That way he could work on his project with different robot bodies. This would accelerate his work with great speed. He would be able to do multiple things; draw, write, play an instrument, read and learn new things all at the same time. Using technology and his connection with the dream realm he could expand his own mind to new limits and beyond. He would have thoughts and feelings so complicated, that if he would try to explain it us. It would be like explaining how you feel about your favourite movie to an earthworm.

-MISSING MATTHEUS ALAN MOORE-

Mattheus Alan Moore was last seen 8 September 2020, 8:45 PM

at the Neuralink Corporation, San Francisco wearing a grey T-shirt and denim jeans. He has dark brown hear, brown eyes, big nose and was unshaven. He's 5.9 feet tall and wears black glasses. If you have seen him or have more information about his whereabouts.

Please call 161 803 398 87 Matthew was staying late at his office the clock ticking, it was almost nine in the evening.He felt a breakthrough coming yesterday but he had to stop, as it was almost midnight and he slept inside his office. His co-workers found it very peculiar of him, as he did that sometimes. But he was the most productive member of their lab, so they let him be. Now it was almost 9 PM again. He thought he would make his breakthrough this midday, but it failed when he switched it on. He tried it five times already, but it did not activate.He saw on his clock that it was 9 PM 15 now. "If it doesn't work now I will stop and continue tomorrow" he thought. Matthew put on the helmet, dubbed the Proto-Chip. It was a helmet to test the properties of the brain chips in a non invasive way. That way they could test their material and programs. However the visions and motion stimuli would always be vague. To have a better communication with the chip one needs to have an operation to have the chip implanted. With the helmet it was like testing a game using a very dirty hazy computer screen. Matthew flipped the switch. Suddenly Matthew became very nervous as he saw the meters increase exponentially. He thought nothing would happen, but now it seemed something would indeed happen and it would not be good. Quickly Matthew grabbed his helmet as he wanted to remove it but before he could a painful zap send him spasming on the ground. He lay on the ground coiling in pain. He would see blue sparks around the room, coming towards him. "Hallucinating?" he thought between all his pain. The lights of the lab flickered. And then there was light. At 9PM16 there was a one hour power outage at the Mission District of San Francisco. Matthew was gone, nobody knew where. That night however Matthew's colleagues dreamt about him. They never liked him that much, but they all recall the same dream and a feeling of melancholy. Sarah described her dream, which was similar to the dreams of her co-workers, as following: "I was alone in his lab room, but it was blue and dark. Out of the wall came something. Matthew was formed out of the wall. I felt sad yet a feeling of calmness. He smiled at me and said that he was happy and at a better place now. He said he simply woke up in another dream. He said our lives are dreams within dreams within dreams." Mattheus or Matthew as friends called him was a 31 year old scientist working for Elon Musk's Neural Link. Wherever he might be we hope he is truly at a better place.