#theo work on your internalized homophobia

[toolazytodecide]

Goldfinch status update: Theo just got back to NYC.

I feel like Popper is definitely a metaphor and I’m trying to figure out the details. Something about Theo taking care of him on the bus but also wishing he was a tougher looking dog. Like maybe it’s a metaphor for Theo himself?

Do you have (non spoilery) thoughts on this?

Don't get me started on the dog metaphor. May I remind you what Theo's mom called him? PUPPY!!! Theo is the dog, the dog is Theo. There's something later on that ties Theo to a dog even more. I should google symbolism of dogs... all I can think of is loyalty.

As for Theo calling Popper gay.... Popper wasn't the one admitting he's in love with his best friend in the last chapter.

[shion-yu]

A Safe Place (part 1) [Day 28]

Cliff shows up at Elliot's doorstep in the middle of the night soaked to the bone. A Cliff/Elliot sickfic heavy on the angst, also ft. Theo. For @monthofsick Day 28: Chaotic body temperature. I know, not me joining in on a writing challenge right at the end but it fit so well. 3,065 words, original work, TWs for homophobia, emeto (neither strong warnings, but the sick will get much sicker in p2).

It had been a long summer. Cliff had spent it working at Theo's law firm again, except this time he wasn't an unpaid intern but a legal secretary. It was a temporary job that they had offered him when his summer break had aligned perfectly with one of the secretary's maternity leaves and Cliff had jumped at the chance to work in such a great environment again. He was happy to see many familiar faces from last year, and to his surprise they were happy to see him too. Although he was mainly working with one of the other partners this time - not Theo - he saw the lawyer nearly every day and was relieved to learn both Theo and his partner, Al, were in good health. Al had gotten a double lung transplant that last Fall, Theo told Cliff. He and his new lungs were doing great. 

"What about you?" Theo asked Cliff eagerly. "How did your first year at NYU go?" 

Cliff smiled, automatically thinking of Elliot. "It was great," he said. "My classes were interesting but not too hard."

"You look happier," Theo said, surprising Cliff with how true the observation was. "Did something cause that?" 

"Yeah," Cliff said thoughtfully. "Someone did."

Being apart from Elliot that summer was difficult. He missed hugging and kissing Elliot every single day. He wanted to talk to him on the phone for hours and hours just to hear his voice and fall asleep with his fingers in Elliot’s curls. But when he was living at home, Cliff knew he had to be the perfect, straight laced child he'd been raised as. In other words, he couldn't be himself. He wore business attire to work every day, but the soft sweaters and cute hair clips he'd amassed over the past year stayed packed away in his college stuff for next semester. He didn't think his parents would appreciate those particular fashion choices he'd been making.

It's not like his parents made it hard to hide things. They hardly ever asked questions, and if they did it was about grades or tuition. Cliff knew he was incredibly lucky that his parents paid his entire tuition, room and board as if it were a given. Elliot's parents weren't able to help much financially, meaning his boyfriend had to take out loans and work part time while in school. This summer he was working nonstop in his dad's auto mechanic shop, saving up money. Often when Cliff video called Elliot these days he was covered in sweat, streaks of black motor oil on his face. It seemed wrong to complain about his parents when it was thanks to them that he was only working this summer because he wanted to, not because he had to. And yet, silently, Cliff  thought maybe he'd be happier if he was in Elliot's shoes - without much money but with a place he could really call home. It was a selfish, privileged thought and Cliff refused to voice it, but it creeped in each time he heard Elliot's mom call in the background, "Boys, wash up, it's time for dinner!" 

Working was a blessing to Cliff, because if he'd been at home he would've been in that big, lonely house all by himself most of the summer. Being at the law firm was not only a distraction, but comfortable. Despite wearing a suit, Cliff actually felt less tense there than at his parents' house. He stayed long hours, longer than he needed to, because he preferred the sound of printers and fax machines over his parents screaming at each other downstairs. When he was in high school it seemed easier to ignore. Maybe it was because he'd had a break for so many months that returning to it seemed worse than before. Or maybe it was because Elliot never screamed at him like that, and Cliff had started to realize that this wasn't how things had to be.

Around the beginning of August, Cliff caught a cold that didn't seem to go away. At first it was just the sniffles, and then it was a cough that grew progressively deeper with each week that passed. The other employees started asking him if he was alright, and embarrassingly Theo caught him staring blankly at the water fountain one day for far too long. Cliff was so out of it that he didn't even notice Theo calling his name until the older man waved his hand in Cliff's face.

"Oh," Cliff said, rubbing his eyes to try and make his blurry vision clear up. "Sorry, I was just... Daydreaming." 

"You look pale," Theo said, and before Cliff could step back Theo had placed a hand on Cliff's forehead while ignoring Cliff's protest that he was fine. "Hmm, you feel a little feverish. Why don't you go home, kid?" 

"I'm really fine," Cliff said, wildly embarrassed. "It's just a cold."

Theo looked him up and down, clearly assessing how pushy he should be. "At least go take a nap on the couch in my office, you look exhausted."

Usually, Cliff would say no immediately. He wouldn't even consider showing weakness at the place he was supposed to be making a vitally good impression at for his career. But he felt weak and a little dizzy and found himself saying in a small voice, "...If you're sure." 

Theo was sure. He brought Cliff to his office and shut the blinds so there wasn't much light coming through the many glass windows. He even tossed a blanket to the eighteen-year-old. "I sleep here all the time," he reassured Cliff. "You can't work if you're too tired to think. Don't worry about it." 

Cliff felt guilty for taking over Theo's office, but Theo headed out for a two hour meeting and Cliff was left alone on the couch. He had half a mind to leave and get back to work at his desk now that there was no one stopping him, but just sitting there made him realize how fatigued his whole body felt. A little nap wouldn't hurt, he reasoned. A really short one. He lay down and fell asleep so quickly that he didn't even remember closing his eyes. 

He woke up to Theo gently rubbing his shoulder. Cliff was confused, then his eyes widened in embarrassment and he sat up. Shit, had it been two hours already? Wait, that clock didn't say 5pm did it? - surely he hadn't slept for four hours?! 

"Woah, it's okay Cliff," Theo said quickly, "You seemed really tired so I let you sleep. You should go home now, everybody's leaving for the day." 

"I'm so sorry," Cliff gushed, face bright red. "I didn't mean to sleep so long. You don't have to pay me for today - please don't, actually." 

"Settle down, it's really fine," Theo said in a calm voice that made Cliff remember to take a deep breath like Elliot had taught him to calm down. "We all have off days. You don't feel so warm now, so that's good. Stay home tomorrow though." 

"That's totally not necessary," Cliff said, his confident tone supplemented by a very unconvincing round of dry coughs. He waved off the tissues Theo tried to hand him. "Really, I'm fine. I've just been having some asthma since I got sick last winter, but my boy-" Cliff stopped himself, realizing he was about to out himself. "My, um, my roommate got me an inhaler so I just have to use it that's all." 

"Your boyfriend," Theo supplied gently. "It's okay to say it, Cliff. You know I have Al." 

Cliff wanted to deny the comment outright. He wanted to laugh and say Elliot really was just a friend. But Theo had such an earnest expression, and he was the only successful adult man Cliff knew of who was gay. "I know, but, it's really not, not for me," Cliff found himself saying, voice wavering. "I-I have to go. Sorry I slept in your office so long," he said as he hurried out, ignoring Theo's all too kind voice calling after him. Cliff knew in a certain world that it was okay, but it wasn't his world. Not the world where he still relied on his parents. 

Despite saying he'd be back the next day, Cliff did stay home that Friday. His fever was worse and he had chills that left him huddled under the covers. His mom didn't notice he didn't leave the house and he didn't tell her. She didn't need to know, just like she didn't need to know about Elliot. She had never supported Cliff in anything at all, so why... Why did Cliff feel such a strong urge to tell her? 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On the last day of Cliff's work at the law firm, Theo told Cliff if he ever needed a reference, he'd get a glowing one from him. And if he ever needed to talk about anything, anything at all, Cliff could call him too. Cliff knew what he was getting at, and he didn't want to face it. But Theo was such a calm person that it was disarming, and Cliff asked without meaning to, "Is it worth it?" 

Theo nodded. He knew what Cliff meant without specification. "Yes, it's worth it," Theo said. "Even if there's nay-sayers and you lose people, you gain much more. It's always worth it to be exactly who you are, Cliff."

Cliff went back to his parents house with those words echoing in his brain. Theo, a successful and respected lawyer, said it was worth it. He had a career and a person who loved him by his side. Was that something Cliff could have, too? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be honest, just once?

"Mom," Cliff said over dinner, pushing his phone over to her with a picture of him and Elliot together on the screen. "I want to tell you something. This is my-"

"Don't do this to me Cliff," his mother interrupted before he could finish. "You've already caused enough trouble. He's not - just because you have a thing with another guy doesn't mean anything."

"It's not a thing mom. I love him," Cliff found himself saying angrily. And oh, why did he say that? The first time he finally said he loved Elliot and it was directed at his mom in spite. It wasn't supposed to be like this. 

"Cliff, you don't love him. You're too old to be playing this game. Now I'll forget we had this conversation. And don't tell your father."

Cliff saw red. He'd never been so angry in his life. He snatched his phone back and grabbed his wallet on the shelf by the door and went outside. She didn't follow him. 

It was pouring rain. Cliff shivered, wishing he'd had the forethought to grab a coat too, but he wasn't going to ruin his dramatic exit by going back inside. Of course his mother hadn't approved. Cliff hadn't expected her to. But he'd expected her to get angry - not to dismiss him all together like he was just a kid with a big imagination. Cliff knew then that she would never really think of him as his own person, and he couldn't do anything to change that. It broke his heart. 

Cliff walked for a very long time. He didn't quite know where he was going, only that he wanted to get as far away from that house as possible. He found himself at a park by the water where he beat up a couple of tree trunks that definitely won based on his bleeding knuckles afterwards. The rain didn't let up, and Cliff found himself getting progressively colder. His cough from earlier that month had never gone away and his breath began to catch on what felt like a dry patch in his throat. Cliff realized then that he'd left his inhaler at the house, too. The coughing grew more desperate until he pitched forward and vomited onto the grass he was standing on. He groaned and leaned against the nearest tree he could find, the contents of his stomach mixing with rushing rain water and swept away quickly. He continued to gag for several minutes until the coughing abated ever so slightly. He felt weak and pathetic. And also very, very alone.

He needed to get somewhere dry. Somewhere warm and safe. Cliff only had one place like that in mind. He boarded train after train, shivering in the corner like a wet dog as he made his way all the way to Long Island. He knew Elliot's address because he'd been sending Elliot mail all summer, little love notes and presents that made Cliff think of him. He never included a return address though, because he hadn't wanted his parents to see. Thankfully his phone had enough battery to direct him to Elliot's doorstep despite the wet four hour commute, and he found himself at the front door of a modest suburban home at 3:30 in the morning. 

The journey had felt like a daze. Cliff had never done something so erratic, so unplanned. He raised his hand to knock before remembering what time it was, and Elliot had parents and sister who probably wouldn't appreciate him knocking. He called Elliot instead, his phone barely hanging on at 5%. He thought to himself that it seemed unlikely that Elliot would answer at this time of night. But after several rings, by which time Cliff had resigned himself to waiting for dawn under a tree, a very sleepy voice picked up. 

"Cliff?"

"Elliot? Sorry to bother you," Cliff said, as if this entire situation weren't incredibly bizarre. "But I'm at your door."

There was a long pause, presumably while Elliot tried to figure out exactly what Cliff meant by 'at your door'. "Like right now? Now?" 

"Yeah," Cliff said. "Do you think I could sleep over?" 

"I'm coming down," Elliot said, and there was the rustling of sheets and then the thump of footsteps as Elliot ran downstairs. The front door opened and Elliot hung up. Cliff looked at him and thought he was the most beautiful person in the entire world. "Holy crap, you're really here," Elliot breathed. "God Cliff, what happened? No, come in first, you're soaked..."

Elliot pulled Cliff inside and helped Cliff take off his soaked trainers. There were traces of vomit on the front of his shirt and his fingers were still bloody. Elliot brought him to the bathroom, motioning for Cliff to stay quiet with one finger to his lips. He grabbed a towel from under the sink and wrapped it around the shorter boy, who was shivering violently from the marked change in temperature. In the bright light of the kitchen, suddenly his journey seemed a lot less valiant and a lot more stupid. "Sit," Elliot said, sitting Cliff on the toilet. "You're freezing... Can you take your temperature?”

Elliot handed Cliff a thermometer, which Cliff obediently used. After a few seconds it beeped and read ‘96.9.’ Elliot frowned. “Hot shower, okay?" Despite being woken up in the middle of the night, Elliot seemed fully alert. Cliff nodded and peeled off his wet and dirty clothes. He coughed roughly as he did so, a slight wheeze audible on the end of the exhale. Elliot patted his back with a concerned expression. "Do you have your inhaler?" Cliff shook his head no. Elliot grimaced and ran the hot water for Cliff. "You warm up. I'm gonna find you some clothes and I think there's an old inhaler somewhere in the medicine cabinet..."

Elliot moved to leave, but Cliff grabbed his arm before he could go. "Don't wake your family up," Cliff said hoarsely. "I'm okay." 

Elliot looked at Cliff in concern and sighed. "Cliff, you just showed up soaking wet in the middle of the night. You live all the way in Newark. I'm gonna be a little concerned. But right now you need to warm up. We can talk later."

"Okay," Cliff said. He took the hottest shower of his life then, and it felt glorious. After a few minutes he started to feel dizzy though and sat on the floor of the tub. Elliot came back and peeked around the curtain, frowning when he saw Cliff sitting there. 

"Are you awake?" Elliot asked worriedly. 

"Hmm," Cliff hummed in confirmation. "Just feels nice, and I got sleepy." 

"Finish up in there," Elliot said. "I've got sweats and a hot water bottle and bed waiting for you." 

Cliff obediently finished showering and sat on the edge of the tub as Elliot dried him off thoroughly with two big, fluffy towels. Cliff closed his eyes and remembered how many times he'd imagined being together again over the summer. "I missed you so much," Cliff said, resting his face on Elliot's abdomen. 

Elliot stilled and crouched in front of Cliff. "I missed you too," he said softly. "Now arms up." Elliot helped Cliff get into the warmest sweats that he owned and then led Cliff upstairs to his bedroom. The house was quiet, and Cliff hoped that meant he hadn't disturbed anyone else's sleep. He glanced around curiously at Elliot's childhood bedroom, which was decorated in a way that seemed so very Elliot. He smiled at the teddy bear sitting on the dresser that Cliff had bought Elliot at the baseball game they'd been to. It brought back good memories, nothing like the ones that had been swirling around in Cliff's head for the past several rainy hours. 

"Bed," Elliot whispered, tucking Cliff under the duvet and several extra blankets. Cliff was still shivering, but less so now. His temperature had blown from low numbers to high and he gazed at Elliot with glassy, feverish eyes. Elliot handed Cliff a very expired albuterol inhaler, which Cliff took a few puffs of. Despite the date stamped on the canister, it still eased the tightness in Cliff's chest a little. Elliot then climbed in next to him and wrapped his arms around Cliff. The feeling and smell of being enveloped by Elliot after all this time brought Cliff to tears and he hid his face. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know I should have called.”

"It’s okay,” Elliot said. “Sleep, Cliff. We can talk tomorrow.” Knowing he was finally in the only place he truly felt safe, Cliff slept.

[Cont. part 2]

[crownofstardustandbone]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Hello love, thank you so much for sending this!!

First up is a story I wrote not too long ago "Mercy Mercy Please (The Monster in Me)" which is a Theo x Liam Teen Wolf fic that is an enemies to hate fuckers to lovers story with 20k words of dirty, nasty, kinky dub-con hate fucking lol I love this one so much because I haven't written this dynamic before and these two are just PERFECT for it.

Next up is "Prussian Blue" which is a Clark x Bruce superbat story in which Bruce gets irradiated to lethal levels and Clark frantically tries to find a way to stop him from dying, while also being forced to confront the depths of his feelings for Bruce. I love this one because it's angsty (big surprise LOL), but also because of the relationships I built between Clark and Alfred, and Clark and Bruce--I think they're well characterized and engaging. Plus I did a SHIT TON of research into the acute effects of radiation sickness and the treatments for it, which is where the title comes from--Prussian Blue is a pretty standard treatment for radiation poisoning!

My next one I'll talk about is hands down my favorite thing I've written in the last few years because it's so unbearably tender. "Ribs Cracked Open, A Home Made Within" is a Geralt x Jaskier story that came about because I had this idea that with his extra mutagens, Geralt would probably be hypersensitive to the point of pain, and wondered what that would look like within canon. I also really wanted Geralt to be handled with care and affection and tenderness because we never really see that in canon, and when someone is so hurt by the world and so self loathing, I desperately crave stories where they get to be treated tenderly.

Next is "Handful of Aces, Pocketful of Nines" which is a Holden x Bill Mindhunter story that came about after a rewatch while I was high and had my brain go galaxy mode and see them as a ship 😂This story follows canon and is filled to the brim with yearning, internalized homophobia, and so much angst it'll break your heart! I love this one because it's got so many tropes that I adore, and I think is a very compelling story of two people who don't know how to love each other, but also don't know how not to love each other.

Finally, is "Unbroken" which I consider to be my Steve x Tony magnum opus lol This story is my baby--I spent two years writing it, during which time I was in grad school, working full time, doing an internship and trying to get homework done. It's angsty and full of pining, hurt/comfort, whump, and all the other tasty tropes that I adore. It's a complicated story about a complicated relationship--Steve is found in the ice during Tony's childhood and comes to live with the Starks where he serves as a friend and protector for Tony. Tony loves him, and when life intervenes, they're married to protect Tony from being given to Obie--but that doesn't mean things get any easier. I do honestly think that this is the best thing for stony that I ever have and ever will write, and I hope more folks give it a shot despite that underage tag lol

[totheidiot]

intro post :)))

i didn't have one for the longest time but i am trying to organize my blog so here is one !! name is arian. pronouns are he/him. arospec sex-averse asexual. minor but i guess i do interact with nsfw posts like sex jokes and read the fanfiction. i love love writing and you WILL know by my posts. i draw sometimes too but only a few select people are allowed to see (few select meaning like One mutual).

fandoms !

stranger things - all posts tagged under #the monster show that got really popular - don't exactly post so much about it? you might see this tag only when i might be engaging with my st mutuals or when i post a fanfiction update

the magnus archives - all posts tagged under #rusty quill presents: this man has too many eyes. - a tag you shall see very often !! have not begun s5 (will touch that probably, next month?) but got hugely spoilered for it.

the magnus protocol - all posts tagged under #rusty quill presents: the lack of eyes is causing me unease. - i am in the place with most of the fandom ! waiting for the next episode that is.

the goldfinch - all posts tagged under #the gay bird book - you will probably never see it now, still worth checking out my old posts? i don't even remember if they were good or not.

tags !

#🍂 arian's shit : all text post that i wrote myself ! every post i didn't reblog, all of that !! even some reblogs are tagged with this if i add a lot of my own thoughts to another post.

#🪐 arian's asks : my replies to asks i get :) anons are tagged with #those who have no name and the hate anons are tagged with #those who deserve no name i only got one hate anon even that was in my old blog but it's best to be prepared ! if it's not an anon ask, i will tag it with the asker's username or if they are mutual, they get a special tag !

#📷 arian's friends <33 : all the interaction with my mutuals and friends <3

#📝 arian writes fanfiction : pretty self explanatory !! all the times i mention my fanfiction !

☁ arian's very complicated and strange dreams : a very miscellaneous tag ! basically talking about my dreams

#🌌 arian contemplates his universe : textposts written by me that are not really connected to a specific fandom. posts might get a bit personal/random/vent-y

fanfiction !

the goldfinch

things we don't talk about . : xandra hears strange, loud and suspicious noises from theo’s bedroom. upon closer inspection, she discovers that boris is staying the night. the next morning, she confronts them about it. 1/1 , tw references to alcohol, implications of underage sex, internalized homophobia. not my best work at all, but you can read this one !!

six of crows

a fool's game : modern era hs au where the crows are hired by their principal van eck to steal the rival school fjerda high's mascot before the games. 6/? abandoned. tws of six of crows really. don't read this one, abandoned and i don't know how to even feel about this.

stranger things

i got your letter (hope you feel better than i do) : will gets sent a series of anonymous love letters in his locker. mike's been awfully quiet about this. 2/2, tw internalized homophobia. i don't really like this one but it's been very well-received so you can give this shot if you !

your apparition passes through me : that's the masterpost, everything you need to know :)) DO read this one, this is still very much ongoing <3

we both matter (don't we?) : mike asks max if she could go to California with him on spring break. that sounds like a bad idea, but she goes for it. el is unhappy in lenora; she is not in love with one of her first friends, but she is painfully in love with the certain red-haired skateboarder girl, who makes her laugh. 1/2 i have no idea if there will be a continuation? this was really good in my opinion, kind of sucks that it didn't get any love :((

upcoming !

stranger things

two byler fanfiction, both coincidentally i'll be co-writing with mutuals :). one of them is a eeaao au, written with @qulizalfos and the other is very longfic, slightly crack fic written with @iamtheoneandonlyever that documents mike and will's life from college, all the way to their fifties.

the magnus archives

আমি তো চক্ষুর বস্ত্র ধরে / দেখতে পাই অতীত, ভবিষ্যত, পৃথিবীর অধ্যাত্ম। : a character study of jonathan sims, before being the Archivist. all written entirely in bangla, bangladeshi!jon obviously, a focus on his language, his grandmother and his culture. only like two people in the fandom probably can read this.

here are my side-blogs :)) : @incaseimakeit-daily and @16-04-16-daily . also, credits for the light dividers goes to @//saradika-graphics :))

[foundmywei]

Boreo Fanfic Recs

Here are my favorite boreo fics, I will be updating this as I read more. Enjoy!

(last updated on 12/05/23)

Masterpost

sunday morning (and i'm falling) by thenewgothicromance

post-canon

(11,424 words | Not Rated | Chapters: 1/1)

“How long will he be staying with you?” Mrs. Barbour asks him one evening, when he mentions that Boris will be picking him up after dinner.

“I’m not sure,” he tells her, keeping the details, as always surrounding Boris, as vague as possible. “Just until he figures something else out.”

Mrs. Barbour clicks her tongue at him.

“You have such a kind heart, Theo. Be careful you don’t let him take advantage of you.”

you are my sweetest downfall. by punkrockdog

post-canon

(22,530 words | General Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

There's nothing wrong with sleeping with his best friend of almost ten years on a regular basis.

If Theo tells himself this enough, he might start to believe it.

a symphony of love in several movements. by theweakestthing

post-canon

(29,364 words | Mature | Chapters: 5/5)

It reminded him of the version of Musée Rodin’s The Kiss that sat in the Tate’s collection, pockmarked and scarred from sitting in a parlour among soldiers during the war, but still standing as a testament to the carnal desires of two lovers. Twisted around each other, hands on the bed between them, their positions almost exactly mirrored that of the sculpture. The thought that together they could be a work of art pushed Theo forward.

Alternatively titled: Theo Decker needs to get his shit together.

the red sun by thefinnkinnie (orphan_account)

vegas era

(2,705 words | Not Rated | Chapters: 1/1)

Theo slid his tongue across his lower lip, considering the choice. Sober, he would be safe. These thoughts in his head, about Boris, about feeling for the first time since the museum, they would disappear, tucked away in some fold of his mind, and Theo could sink back into his soft non-existence. He was nearly there anyways, close enough he could taste the gray on his tongue like cotton balls. It would be so easy.

And yet.

something in a major key by boxedblondes

post-canon

(7,454 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Why the fuck is it so busy?” Boris asks some hours later, twinkling lights a messy rainbow swirl around them, late December cold starting to eat a hole through Theo’s less-than-ideal camel’s-hair coat.

“It’s four days until Christmas, you idiot,” Theo says. “You should have had your weird holiday epiphany like a month ago.”

sound formed in a vacuum may seem a waste of time (it’s always been just the same) by theparadigmshifts

post-canon

(3,750 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

The year after Amsterdam, Theo follows his conscience; Boris follows Theo.

Neptune by pavlikovskyslittlebird

post-canon

(40,202 words | Mature | Chapters: 14/14)

Post Amsterdam, canon divergent, book and movie references.

Theo tries to figure things out while buying back the changelings.

"I must be a poster child prodigy

Thread by thread I come apart

If brokenness is a work of art

Surely this must be my masterpiece

I'm only honest when it rains

If I time it right, the thunder breaks

When I open my mouth

I wanna tell you but I don't know how

I'm only honest when it rains

An open book, with a torn out page

And my inks run out

I wanna love you but I don't know how"

Neptune-Sleeping at Last

Selling a Fake by argylemikewheeler

post-canon

(35,522 words | Explicit | Chapters: 3/3)

Theo didn’t fly home right away; he stayed in Antwerp and together, he and Boris flew back to New York. They start over, two troubled teenagers all over again. They’ve replaced scorching Vegas summers with chilling New York winters. It was never about the place anyway.

They’re together-- they’re something-- but Theo still struggles to be open to strangers passing by.

(PLUS an extended part two/epilogue to give us more comforting boyfriends and less internalized homophobia for Theo!)

overlap by rosekings

Antwrep

(12,886 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Promise me you’ll come. Eventually. Just…come see me. Sit still with me for a while.” He holds back everything else he wants to say. Get a place with me. Run the shop with me. Laugh and make dinner with me. Let me wake up next to you every morning and not have to worry if I’m never going to see you again.

“I promise.” Boris says it like it was already obvious, something that didn’t even need to be said. “Of course I promise.”

You're coming back and it's the end of the world by BalalaikaPattycake

post-canon

(89,940 words | Mature | Chapters: 17/17)

We spent hours joking and laughing at the bar over a bottle of vodka, our heads together, just like we had done as boys. Trying to convince myself that the only reason I was holding my hand on his shoulder, giggling in his ear, my face mere inches away from his, was because otherwise he wouldn't hear me over the music, even though he was the one doing most of the talking. I had been drinking considerably less than normal over the past few months, so it didn't take me long to start feeling disoriented and weirdly courageous, the mass of people around me blending into each other, becoming unidentifiable like droplets of water in an ocean, with only Boris standing out as a steady beacon of light.

Set after the book ends, Theo and Boris meet again after a year and half.

And Nothing Has Changed by WhyDoesEverythingHappenSoMuch

Amsterdam

(8,361 words | Mature | Chapters: 1/1)

“Potter, maybe you have one more drink and then try and tell me you are ‘not in the mood.” He raised a hand again, but before the waitress saw, I grabbed him by the leather-clad forearm and pulled his hand back down.

“Boris, I'm engaged.” I tried again in vain to make him understand the significance of that.

“Sure, but you are here with me, drinking with me, and you are going to get to know some very good girls with me.” I hadn’t realized, but somehow his fingers had ended up laced with mine.

___

Boris and Theo's first night in Amsterdam they wind up in a bar and Boris can't seem to get off the topic of how unfair it is that Kitsey is cheating. Boris thinks Theo should have his own extramarital fun too.

To quote Donna Tartt, "matters progress"

to remember your mouth, how it tasted true by nosecoffee

post-canon

(6,422 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

(i don’t smoke except for when i’m missing you)

*

Theo got it into his head that the cigarettes would start the chain reaction that would send them to early graves if they weren’t careful, all spouted into the darkness of Welty’s room, while Boris perched on the windowsill.

And yet, he had grinned and put out his cigarette on the ashtray there, and said, “Then of course I will stop.”

Which was so lovely at the time. It was significantly less lovely when he found Boris smoking in the bathroom three days later.

Repression is just a Love Language Best Ignored (Looking at you, Decker) by Lemonyfreshness

post-canon

(92,031 words | Mature | Chapters: 16/16)

It's a year after "The Incident," as what Theodore Decker liked to call it, that one strange turn of events in which his childhood best friend had come to reconvene and it had been interesting to say the least...But now he was back in the real world. And broke. And high out of his mind. And depressed as ever. Theodore Decker isn't one to naturally listen to reason but maybe he will when once again his morally-grey best friend with attachment issues comes back to save the day. Or at least try in his own way. Wish him luck.

Find Other Muses by deadspy

post-canon

(38,844 words | Explicit | Chapters: 6/6)

Theo folds and unfolds the old postcard from Boris. GREETINGS FROM KANSAS! it reads, same as it always has, but now it just feels like a taunt.

Ten years after Amsterdam, Theo and Boris find themselves, and each other, in the most unlikely of places.

philophobia. by theweakestthing

post-canon

(36,292 words | Mature | Chapters: 11/11)

philophobia [ fil-uh-foh-bee-uh ]:

(n.) (from Greek "φιλέω-φιλώ" (love) and "φοβία" (phobia)) the fear of falling in love or being in love. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love. This affects the quality of life and pushes a person away from commitment. A negative aspect of this fear of being in love or falling in love is that it keeps a person in solitude. It represents certain guilt and frustration towards the reaction coming from inside.

Theo knows what the problem is, but that doesn't mean that he's going to do anything about it.

Little Bird by redborya

Amsterdam

(19,376 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 6/6)

With The Goldfinch retrieved (and returned) Theodore Decker is left in Amsterdam wondering where to go and what to do from there. It seems simple enough at first. Return to New York, marry Kistey, and continue on his life as he had before. Boris, however, suggests the complete opposite.

The Before, After, and Forever by makkachincrossing

post-canon

(13,893 words | Explicit | Chapters: 4/4)

“The attack at The Met… That wasn’t the first explosion it had survived.”

“No?”

“No, a gunpowder factory exploded nearby Fabritius’ studio, killing him and destroying nearly all of his paintings,” I took a breath, unsteady. “But The Goldfinch… The Goldfinch survived.”

A hand on my shoulder. Long fingers, a firm squeeze, grounding me to earth. “You survived too, Potter.”

I looked to him, eyes aching behind my glasses.

“Life exploding around you. You survived. You, too, are Goldfinch.”

corrina, corrina by curlymcclain

(12,821 words | Mature | Chapters: 1/1)

canon-divergence, boris follows theo to new york

Seeing him here, in New York, surrounded by the deep browns and golds of Hobart and Blackwell, is so alien to me I have to repress the urge to pinch myself like a child would after a dream. It looks incorrect, him standing here. Like someone has taken a pair of scissors to my memories of him, cut him out of his rightful place on the abandoned playground, and pasted him sloppily into a corner of my life where he doesn’t belong. Has it only been a few weeks? It feels like ages longer, like it’s been a decade, like we’re different people trying to see what exactly we liked about each other so much way back when.

But then he says it again- “Potter.”- and that feeling vanishes as quickly as it arrived.

“You came,” I say dumbly.

He gives a cheery smirk that I don’t believe. “Promised I would.”

fragile (that much he could admit) by successsionhbo

(12,592 words | Explicit | Chapters: 1/1)

post-canon

Theo has been having nightmares after his trip to antwerp. Boris comes for a visit

heaven help the fool by BucketofWater

(12,140 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 2/2)

vegas era + post-canon, soulmate AU

He knew why. He wished that he did not but deep down he knew. They both did, at one point or another. Maybe not in words, but it was between them all the same. The way that they knew that the sky was blue and how the sun-warmed sand burned like fire. Theo loved Boris and perhaps, although he was a fool to believe it, maybe Boris loved him a little bit too.

Alternatively: the soulmate au in which every significant person in your life leaves a smudge of colour on you.

I've got the story of us written (on my skin) by Thegoldenfnch (I_write_fanfiction_sometimes)

(18,017 words | Mature | Chapters: 5/5)

all eras, soulmates AU

My mother didn’t like to talk about the marks. I still don’t know if it’s because hers had all failed her (her first love didn’t love her back, her life-friend died, and her Life Partner, well, Dad didn’t believe in soulmates) or if it was for some other unknown reason. Maybe she just couldn’t answer the questions I’d asked, like why mine were all the same. After I was around eight I stopped asking, and by the time I was ten I’d stopped telling people. They never seem to know what to say. It was only when I got older —after my mother died, but before my dad came back— that I realized why. People never know how to react to what they view as a tragedy. 

------

or: No one talks about soulmarks, Theo is in denial about many things (as he usually is), and Boris never says the things that actually matter

A retelling. Now with soulmarks.

a study in inevitability by EdieFalcoRising

(14,523 words | Explicit | Series - 3 works)

post-canon

One time Theo leaves, one time Boris leaves, and the one time they make it work.

And twice more our paths crossed through the night by liminalweirdo

(2,506 words | Mature | Chapters: 1/1)

Antwrep

Takes place immediately after the end of the novel, in Boris's flat in Antwerp. Theo muses on the things they did as teenagers, and the tension between them finally reaches its breaking point. Almost.

I'm not living/I'm just killing time by lolneptune

(19,359 words | Explicit | Chapters: 3/3)

post-canon

Of course he had seen the journals. Pages and pages of rambling accounts, an encyclopedia. How could I have hidden it from the one living person who knew me?

So cruelly you kissed me by foundmywei

(4,096 words | Mature | Chapters: 1/1)

post-canon

The biggest problem with the two of us had never been whether or not we knew that we loved each other, but rather whether or not we would choose to be with one another.

Even after Boris and Theo start sleeping with each other, they struggle with talking about what they are and their feelings. Well, until an incident of jealousy forces them to.

a spring memorandum by yowler

(42,706 words | Mature | Chapters: 4/4)

WWII AU

In the dark where no one can see, Boris presses his lips to the thin knot of scar tissue over Theo’s wrist. It’s a request; for forgiveness, for absolution, for something neither of them has a name for.

“But you are alive,” he says, “you idiot.”

  (Theo and Boris meet during the war.)

the letter in the drawer by shamefulshameless

(4,136 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

post-canon

Before he left Amsterdam, Boris found an envelope with his name on it. He’d wanted to open it in Antwerp, but he was so caught up in it all- his wound and Theo’s illness and the high and the movies, all of it so strangely different and yet exactly the same as when they were kids- that he put it out of his mind. He didn’t want anything to interrupt them. Now, it’s like the envelope has expanded in size, every day growing bigger and bigger and threatening to crack his bedside table in two. He doesn’t know what’s stopping him, but whatever the letter contains, he knows Theo doesn’t want him to know about it. It could be nothing- there’s always been so much innocuous bullshit that Theo keeps to himself for no good reason. Or it could be something. It could be something that Boris would be content staying oblivious to. There are lots of things like that.

Uncle Francis to the rescue by foundmywei

(32,582 words | Mature | Chapters: 8/8)

post-canon

“Oh! By the way, how is your man doing?”

I blinked, confused. "My what?"

"Your man? About 5'9, dark curly hair, gorgeous green eyes, looked vaguely European…?"

"Excuse me?" He couldn't mean…

"You know, the guy who whisked you away from your engagement party?" Mr. Abernathy raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Or, how Francis accidentally ended up becoming Theo's unofficial uncle and got involved in the stupidest love drama of the 21st century when all he wanted was to learn some juicy gossip.

[buck-yyyy]

So since your goldfinch arc how do you feel ab the plot getting more and more depressing with each new ch? How do you feel knowing that every time you read your mental health is slowly deteriorating along with Theo’s?

Can you tell I’ve just reached post Las Vegas 🥲 pls lie to me and say this story ends with Boris and Theo happily married living normal lives that don’t involve hard drugs or alcoholism or prison or homelessness or internalized homophobia or abusive people or—

oh god it’s so…. so.

right now, im about 460 pages in, and it just keeps getting heavier and heavier and i swear my heart breaks more and more every chapter.

if you’ve gotten here, the bit where he’s describing how he tricks people into overpaying for the antiques, and then later talks about pippa? i think that really sealed it in for me that he grew up into a Not Good person.

i mean, he’s running a scam to pull money out of peoples pockets behind hobie’s back and doesn’t feel any ounce of remorse for it until it all backfires on him.

and the way he talks about pippa is just… creepy. he’s obsessed with her- that’s not love. that is not what love is. you can tell that obsession and trauma is clouding his mind by the way he talks about her- taking her hair, and her shirt, trying to kiss her twice, absolutely despising her boyfriend and making awful comments in his head about his financial status.

theo went through so much shit as a child and had no way to process it except for drugs and alcohol. instead of being able to work through it with someone who could help, he was forced to swallow it down and forget. no matter how much i love boris as a character, he was a horrific influence on theo- and now he covers up any bad emotion with any drug he can get his hands on. his extensive trauma hurt his mental and emotional growth in so many different ways, and it made him turn out to be someone who doesn’t seem to do much more than feel hurt, hurt other people, or hurt himself.

it’s just so fucking sad. it’s even sadder that the book starts right with the met explosion, because it means we don’t ever really get to see who he was before, except for little tiny glimpses when he’s with andy or boris.

lord. someone get theo therapy and a goddamn hug.

[ao3feed-drastoria]

Paying My Dues

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/AdfSGCl by Djgfcolombia Draco Malfoy doesn't do work. Neither does Theodore Nott. They are Pureblood royalty. The sacred twenty eight. Their hands are too pretty to get dirty. That is until they are assigned to hard labour on a muggle farm in Yorkshire to atone for their prejudice against muggle borns. Now Malfoy must learn the value of hard work. Because it is hard work to not stare at the pretty farmer's daughter who wants nothing to do with him. It's hard work to pretend not to notice his best friend falling for a ranch hand who wants nothing to do with him. It's hard work paying your dues. Words: 2347, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, M/M Characters: Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Daphne Greengrass, Astoria Greengrass, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Starry the House Elf, Quincy Nott, Iris Heart, Sebastian Green, Emily Heart, Paul Heart, Owen Heart Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s), Theodore Nott/Original Male Character(s), Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, That's implied anyways Additional Tags: Cowboy draco, Cowboy Theo, ranch vibes, Ranchhand romance, Farm romance, Horses, POV Draco Malfoy, Pureblood Society (Harry Potter), Prejudice Against Muggle-borns, Original Character(s), LGBTQ Character, Slight Internalized Homophobia, Swearing, Alcohol, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, farm life, Livestock, Hay sex, nsfw scenes, Purebloods being humbled, idk what else to put here, he falls first, She falls harder, Heartland/Draco Malfoy, If Heartland was in the wizarding world read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/AdfSGCl

[ziggystardustminifest]

Ziggy Stardust Mini-Fest Masterlist!

Better late than never, right?

There were 14 new works for 6 fandoms added to the collection! That's amazing! Thank you to the wonderful humans who participated; I loved seeing your creations. If you have time, then give these a read (and shower the creators with kudos and comments) - they are all truly spectacular. Now, on with the show!

~~~

Move Me, Touch Me by @samunderthelights

Rated: T Fandom: Harry Potter Ship: Regulus/James Tags: Flirting, Dancing, Partying, Underage Drinking, Teasing, Drabble WC: 500 Summary: James had never paid much attention to the quiet young man - thinking of him as no more than the little brother of his best friend - but as he watched him let loose on the dancefloor, he started seeing him in a new light.

~~~

Rock n Roll with Me by @keepcalmandexpectopatronum934

Rated: T Fandom: Supernatural Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Dean Winchester is Not Repressed, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Internalized Homophobia, Alternate Univers - Canon Divergence WC: 3313 Chapters: 1/? Summary: Dean receives an unexpected gift from Cas and he doesn't quite know what to make of it.

~~~

The Stars Look Very Different Today by @sunflower-swan

Rated: T Fandom: Harry Potter Ship: Luna Lovegood/Draco Malfoy Tags: Mentioned Harry Potter, Mentioned Ron Weasley, Auror Draco Malfoy, Minister for Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt, Nonbinary Luna Lovegood, Magizoologist Luna Lovegood, Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures (Harry Potter), Forests, There was only one bed!, Creepy Fluff WC: 1234 Summary: Draco's first assignment as an Auror is as a one-man security detail for young magizoologist, Luna Lovegood. One month alone in the woods with them should be easy, right?

~~~

Our Last Dance by @samunderthelights

Rated: G Fandom: Harry Potter Ship: Remus Lupin/Bill Weasley Tags: Angst, Drabble WC: 207 Summary: Remus remembers all the nights he had lain awake, hoping that one day Bill would hold him like this.

~~~

Serendipity by @sunflower-swan

Rated: G Fandom: Harry Potter Ship: Theodore Nott/Harry Potter Tags: Hogwarts Eighth Year, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Harry Potter WC: 630 Summary: Harry decidedly does not notice Theo. Until Theo notices him.

~~~

Stay by @sunflower-swan

Rated: G Fandom: Harry Potter Ship: Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter Tags: Pre-Slash, Friends To More Than Friends? Drinking, Harry Potter Next Generation WC: 713 Summary: Scorpius is having a long week, Al saves it with a fantastic proposal.

~~~

Maybe, Maybe by @samunderthelights

Rated: G Fandom: Vikings (TV) Ship: Athelstan/Ragnar Lothbrok Tags: Past Relationship(s), Pining, Drabble, Jealousy, Ambiguous/Open Ending WC: 100 Summary: Athelstan knows that he’s a fool for still loving him.

~~~

Run and Hide by @samunderthelights

Rated: G Fandom: Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types Ship: Oliver/Elio Perlman Tags: Goodbyes, Dancing, Light Angst, Bittersweet, Canon Related, Drabble WC: 342 Summary: Oliver is waiting for Elio to ask him to stay - to suggest that they run away together.

~~~

Young Love Burns the Brightest by @sunflower-swan

Rated: T Fandom: Harry Potter Ship: Hermione Granger/Charlie Weasley Tags: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - America, Implied Sexual Content, Nothing explicit, consequences of unprotected sex, wrap it before you tap it!, Ambiguous/Open Ending WC: 528 Summary: High school sweethearts, Charlie and Hermione, drive out to their special spot for a special night that will lead to lasting consequences.

~~~

Only Dancing by @sunflower-swan

Rated: T Fandom: Harry Potter Ship: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Harry Potter Tags: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Clubbing, Smoking, Drinking, Dancing, Love Triangles WC: 378 Summary: Hermione is only dancing. No harm in that. Draco can get jealous or go with it.

~~~

The Song Went On Forever by @samunderthelights

Rated: G Fandom: Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types Ship: Oliver/Elio Perlman Tags: Pianist Elio Perlman, Sad, Angst and Feels, Years Later, Pining WC: 759 Summary: Oliver is still not quite sure what had made him come here tonight, whether it was a feeling of nostalgia, or a misplaced sense of hope to somehow pick up where they had left off all those years ago.

~~~

And the Spiders from Mars by @phenomenalasterisk

Fandom: Harry Potter WC: 4615

Chapter 1: Ziggy Played Guitar - Lucius/Arthur/Narcissa/Molly and the Poly-Tastic Band AU Tags: domme Narcissa, everyone is bi/pan, canon-acceptable ending, bittersweet ending Summary: Arthur and Lucius make a band. Then bring in the ladies. And of course, everyone has sex. With everyone else.

Chapter 2: I'm Only Dancing - Harry/Draco/Teddy Tags: mutual pining, drunken consent, resolving the UST, pre-smut Summary: The night had been going fantastically, the three of them getting drunk and handsy, until Draco moves in on Teddy for an impromptu birthday lapdance. He's only dancing, they're all of them friends, so why is Harry looking so ferocious?

Chapter 3: Young Americans - Ginny/ Tags: introspection, time skips, infidelity, breakups Summary: Ginny reflects on the early years of her marriage, eventually deciding she deserves better.

Chapter 4: Stay - Neville/Blaise Rated: M Tags: Casual sex, friends to lovers, requited unrequited love WC: 457

Chapter 5: Ashes to Ashes - Theo Nott Rated: T Tags: Theo Nott, first person, ambiguous relationships, implied drug use, embedded images WC: 329

Chapter 6: Boys Keep Swinging - Charlie Weasley Rated: G Tags: Charlie Weasley is trans, referenced transphobia, misgendering, no deadnames allowed, best brother Bill, Molly doesn't get it (until she does), Pandora Lovegood is a mama dragon, the Lovegoods are t4t WC: 955

Chapter 7: Golden Years - Minerva McGonagall/Gilderoy Lockhart Rated: T Tags: retirement, golden years, Minerva deserves peace, and her own personal himbo, Minerva is big domme energy, old people can be sexy too, crack-adjacent WC: 374

Chapter 8: Space Oddity - The Giant Squid Rated: G Tags: The Giant Squid, an origin story WC: 204

Chapter 9: Life on Mars - ART Summary: Illustration of the song as painted by wee teenage Phe

~~~

Next Week by @samunderthelights

Rated: G Fandom: The Flash (TV 2014) Ship: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Tags: Secret Relationship, Casual Sex, Feelings, Sad, Hopeful Ending WC: 1000 Summary: After meeting up with Leonard every week for a year and a half in secret, Barry decides that it's time to come clean about his feelings for him.

~~~

Spiders from Mars by @sunflower-swan

Rated: T Fandom: Harry Potter Ship: Madam Rosmerta/Ron Weasley Tags: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Wrock Band, Age Difference, Drinking, Flirting, The Three Broomsticks (Harry Potter) WC: 656 Summary: Harry, Ron, and Hermione start a wrock band, and Ron gets cosy with their favourite pub owner.

~~~

The AO3 collection will be left open for anyone to create and add David Bowie-inspired fics. Links to the fest Tumblr, YouTube and Spotify playlists, prompt list, and rules can be found in the collection.

Thank you, again, to everyone who participated!!

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Healer!Draco

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 The Four Doors by fluxweed Rated:  Explicit Words:  48845 Tags: Mind Healer Draco Malfoy, Legilimency (Harry Potter), Memory Loss, Memory Magic, Sexual Fantasy, Masturbation, Power Imbalance, Auror Harry Potter, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Dubious Consent Due To Patient/Healer Dynamic, Mind Fucking (Literally), Not Epilogue Compliant, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE Summary:  It’s been four months since Harry lost his memory. Four months of dead ends and no answers. With time running out until his memories are gone for good, Harry agrees to a course of Legilimency therapy with a renowned specialist: Mind Healer Draco Malfoy. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Where The Falcons Fly by MyNameIsThunder Rated:  Mature Words:  283177 Tags: Healer Draco Malfoy, Seeker Harry Potter, Quidditch, accidental magic, Blood and Injury, Not Epilogue Compliant, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Post-Hogwarts, Scars, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Whump, POV Third Person Limited, Mutual Pining, Power Couple, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Eventual Fluff Summary:  Where the Falcons fly, there’s blood. Where Draco goes, there usually is too. That’s his job, after all – heal morons and the people who get in their way. He could deal with that, he thinks, if only there wasn’t Harry fucking Potter, Seeker, who gets injured a lot even by the Falcons’ standards and seems to have made a habit of inserting himself in Draco’s private life. Draco just wants to heal people – normal people, that is – and do his research in peace. Well, when does he ever get what he wants? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A Better Kind of Love by MalenkayaCherepakha Rated:  Explicit Words:  25768 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Quidditch Player Harry Potter, Healer Draco Malfoy, St Mungo's Hospital, Hospitals, discussion of injuries, Broken Bones, Injury Recovery, Skele-Gro, Physical Therapy, Nightmares, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Quidditch, Masturbation, Rimming, Shower Sex, Locker Room Sex, Semi-Public Sex, H/D Erised 2020 Summary:  Harry, along with the rest of the Puddlemere United team, is determined that this year will be the year they finally win the Quidditch League Cup. But when a Bludger-induced fall leads to a missed Snitch, broken bones, and an extended stay in St Mungo's, that conviction is put to the test. If Harry wants to have any chance of returning to the pitch this season he has to put all of his faith in his assigned Healer. Which is no easy task when that Healer is Draco Malfoy. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Meet Cute by rewmariewrites Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  4203 Tags: Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, St Mungo's Hospital, Hospitals, Healer Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, POV Draco Malfoy, Pining Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry is a Little Shit, Banter Summary:  It may be important to note that Draco Malfoy meets the love of his life when he is twenty-five years old. Well. In the spirit of fairness, that statement is both technically inaccurate and incredibly vague. Draco isn’t just twenty-five years old, when he meets the love of his life, he’s also in his fourth year of the Healing Programme at St. Mungo’s, and this isn't actually the first time they've ever met. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Don't Waste Your Eyes on Jealous Guys by EvAEleanor Rated:  Mature Words:  9667 Tags: MACUSA | Magical Congress of the United States of America, Auror Harry Potter, Healer Draco Malfoy, Roadtrips, Music, Implied Sexual Content, on the bonnet of a car, Pining, jealous boyfriend, mentions of Abusive Relationship (emotionally and verbally), First Kiss, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Hopeful Ending, Choose Your Own Ending, Touch, hearing, TasteofSmut 2020, First Time, Bittersweet Ending Summary:  For two years now, Harry’s life has been different. Not only does he work in New York City as the Auror liaison to MACUSA on an international murder case, but he’s seen more of Draco Malfoy than he’d ever thought possible. Working with him, and spending time with him after work. During all of this time, Harry has watched Draco going back to his shitty boyfriend over and over again. The worst thing about all of this, he’d fallen in love with him. Maybe there’s hope for Harry though. Maybe for just one night... ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 All is NOT well... by iStiz Rated:  Mature Words:  65500 Tags: HP: EWE, Not Epilogue Compliant, Slow Build, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter Friendship, Healer Draco Malfoy, Quidditch, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Physical Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Depression, Substance Abuse, Rehabilitation, Cuddling & Snuggling, Mild Sexual Content, vague sexual content, Happy Ending Summary:  The war may be over but all is NOT well. Harry feels lost, the Ministry is still trying to control him, his friendships with Ron is rocky at best, he doesn't sleep enough, and then there's Draco Malfoy. Things haven't turned out quite the way Harry expected them to, but at least he still has Hermione to help him (and maybe some new friends if he can trust letting them into his life). ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Harry Potter and the elusive day off by pleasebekidding Rated:  Explicit Words:  71753 Tags: Sleep disorders, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, in all honesty this has a bunch of pain, problematic therapist/patient stuff, mind healer!draco, auror!Harry, no seriously the therapist/patient stuff is super problematic but welcome to fanfic, Child Abuse Summary:  Auror Potter needs a fucking break. He is wiped. He is exhausted. He probably didn't intend to put himself into a magical coma but these things happen. And who cares, really? He is comfortable in a house where he has hidden away all the shit he can't deal with. Guaritore Christopher Black is an exceptional psychiatrist with a specialisation in sleep disorders. He is also Draco Malfoy in a Glamour. Minister Hermione Granger knows the dangers and the complications, but she needs her best friend back. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 oxygen by MaesterChill Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  4065 Tags: Healer Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Post-Hogwarts, Smoking, Cigarettes, Talking, Breathing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Minor Character Death, A Kiss, Fanart, POV Second Person Summary:  Draco doesn’t smoke. Except when he needs to breathe. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Indebtedness by RecIt_Ralph Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  50685 Tags: HP: EWE, Healer Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Slow Build, Fluff and Angst, forgiving Harry, Chaptered, My First Fanfic, Swearing, Snark, Eventual Happy Ending, Second Chances, Getting to Know Each Other Summary:  Of all the Healers in all of St Mungo's - why does Harry always end up with Malfoy? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Best Laid Plans by CreateImagineWrite Rated:  Explicit Words:  10105 Tags: Marriage Proposal, Lust Potion/Spell, Secret Relationship, Anal Sex, Established Relationship, Barebacking Summary:  He hadn’t intended to be fully clothed with Harry naked at this point, or to have just made him take an antidote to a poison or have had to Incarcerus him to the bed. But they’ve never had a very normal relationship anyways. And damn him if he’s going to let Ginevra Weasley get in the way of him marrying this man. Fourshot. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Iustitia & Prudentia by skeptique Rated:  Explicit Words:  36302 Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Post-War, Auror Harry Potter, Healer Draco Malfoy, Bisexual Harry Potter, Gay Draco Malfoy, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Mental Health Issues, Everyone is going to Therapy, Taking their Meds, Calling Their Person, Slow Burn, Procedural That's Fairly Light on the Procedural Part, Canon Content Warnings Apply, brief discussion of infertility, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Discussion of Ongoing Food Related Issues, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Canon Typical Violence, Kidnapping, Confinement, Pansexual Theo Nott, Case Fic, Mystery, Draco Malfoy in Glasses, Minor Character Death Summary:  Draco Malfoy’s entire life fell apart after the War. He’s putting it back together as best he can with what is available to him. But Harry keeps interfering and won’t leave him alone. When he agrees to be an Auror consultant to help Harry, is it more than he bargained for? The world shifted under Harry Potter’s feet and he found himself lost and purposeless. He anchors himself in uncovering the truth about a dangerous pureblood terrorist group. Is Draco the key to solving these crimes, or is he a distraction? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 To Do No Harm by Lokifan Rated:  Explciit Words:  58114 Tags: Post-Hogwarts, HP: EWE, Quidditch, Getting Together, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, Recovering From The War And Becoming Better People, Quidditch Player Harry Potter, Healer Draco Malfoy, Community: hd_erised, Break Up Summary:  Draco hadn’t planned to end up as team Healer for the Chudley Cannons, but it’s a Healer job, so he’ll take it - and then Potter shows up, the glorious centre-of-attention Seeker, as ever. And someone with a grudge is sabotaging Quidditch teams, and it’s only a matter of time before the Aurors’ eyes turn to Draco. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 To Prove We're Not in a Rut by gracerene Rated:  Explicit Words:  2140 Tags: Established Relationship, Post-Hogwarts, Healer Draco, POV Harry Potter, Bottom Harry, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Wall Sex, well it's actually against a door, Top Draco, Bottom Harry Potter, Top Draco Malfoy Summary:  Draco and Harry are not in a rut. Draco sets out to prove it. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Tell Me the End at the Beginning by harryromper Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  36591 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, St Mungo's Hospital, Healer Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Hermione Granger, Christmas, Christmas Tree, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Christmas Presents, Christmas Decorations, 25 Days of Harry and Draco, Food Hall Turkeys, Advent Calendar, Healer Luna Lovegood, Kreacher, Minor Neville Longbottom/Ginny Weasley, Yule Logs, Misheard Christmas carols Summary:  St Mungo’s is the last place anyone wants to spend the festive season. Harry finds himself there anyway. Or: Harry's an Auror suspended from duty, Malfoy's wearing the hell out of three-piece suits, Hermione is entirely over everything, and Kreacher just wants to be left alone to decorate for Christmas. ❤️ Read on AO3

[reynauldapologist]

Reynauld + 69 😈

here ya go anon! sorry it took so long :,)

cw: s/xual references, infidelity, internalized homophobia, reynauld is mean

69: Make It Hurt by SUGR?

more biker au bc it’s so much fun to write ehehe

The safe word is "Jesus Christ" You've said it all your life

“Jesus Christ!”

Dismas pulled off with a disgustingly wet sound. Reynauld’s hips twitched, shocks of stimulation racing through his oversensitive lower half. He opened his eyes just in time to catch Dismas wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Keep him outta this, would you?” Dismas grumbled. His voice was shot-through, sore around the edges.

Reynauld didn’t reply. Or, rather, he couldn’t reply. He was too busy catching his breath and chasing away the fluttering feeling in his chest. His fists uncurled themselves, his knuckles aching, gut clenching around the sudden absence of pleasure. Trails of heat spread out from his core and slipped away into cold guilt. It was like a dead thing in his chest, heavy and destable.

He glanced to the door of the motel room as Dismas sat back on his heels.

“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill.” Dismas wiped at his mouth again. “Just…” He paused and took in a breath so deep it made his chest swell. He breathed out, wheezing. “...gimme a second.”

Reynauld felt like he was being held hostage. He couldn’t move with Dismas kneeling between his spread legs, not without touching him. Dismas’s spit was rapidly cooling and he was beginning to reach an intolerable level of stickiness. 

“Fuck. I gotta give up smoking one of these days.” Dismas hit the side of his fist against his chest. Another deep breath, this time in through the nose and out through the mouth. “I think it’s killin’ me.”

“Move,” Reynauld said. It came out flat and harsh, harsher than he meant it.

A flicker of hurt rippled over Dismas’s face, gone as soon as it had appeared. He shrugged and stood, careful to grip the mattress, not Reynauld’s knees.

“Got somewhere to be?” he asked. 

Other than his leather jacket, which had been tossed over an armchair, Dismas was fully clothed. Reynauld, on the other hand was shirtless and had his pants and underwear tangled around his ankles. It was almost always this way, with Dismas scrambling to expose as much of Reynauld as possible, while clinging to his own modesty.

Reynauld pulled his pants up and held them in place while he shuffled to the bathroom. He kicked the door closed behind him. The doorframe rattled.

“Does Theo have a game tonight?” came Dismas’s voice through the paper-thin door.

Reynauld turned on the sink. Anything to drown out that nasally voice, which crept under his skin like vines and drove thorns into his chest. He dropped his pants and ran a washcloth under the water. He cleaned himself with rough movements, the urge to dash out of the motel room building with every second that crawled by. He finished the too-familiar ritual with a fresh washcloth, then refastened the front of his pants

“Wait, it’s Friday, right? Must be date night with Lisa. Tell her I said hey.”

Reynauld yanked open the door. It banged against the rim of the bathtub.

Dismas flinched away, his head thumping against the wall. He let out a breathless laugh, looking over Reynauld expectantly. Reynauld knew what he wanted and he wasn’t going to give it to him.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Dismas stared at him. His brows furrowed, eyes darting over Reynauld’s face. He turned away from Reynauld and crossed to the armchair, rummaging through the pockets of his leather jacket. He came back with a lighter and a pack of cigarettes.

“Works for me.” Dismas shoved a cigarette into his mouth, holding at the corner as he talked. He paused to light it, puffing quickly on it. “I’ve gotta go out of town for awhile, anyways. Some shit’s goin’ down and I need to lie low.” Smoke leaked from the corners of his mouth.

“This is a no-smoking room.” Reynauld picked his shirt off of the floor and slipped it over his head.

“Goddamnit!” Dismas ripped his cigarette out of his mouth. “Fuck this! And fuck you! Things are catching up to me, Rey, and this might be… you can’t pretend like… as if we never… like you don’t…” Color rose to his cheeks as he struggled to get the words out, practically choking on them. He let out a frustrated growl and walked towards Reynauld, jacket clutched in one hand.

The anger on his face made Reynauld step back, despite the good fifty pounds he had on the other man. They’d known each other for years - decades? - and Reynauld can only remember Dismas losing his temper like this twice. Dismas pushed himself into Reynauld’s personal space, breath reeking of smoke. He stabbed his finger into the center of Reynauld’s chest. Reynauld stepped back, muscles tensing for a fight.

“I hope I never fucking see you again,” he spat. “Coward.”

Dismas whirled away, the motel door slamming behind him. Reynauld glanced to the armchair. In his rush, he’d left his bandana behind. He picked it up and sat on the edge of the bed. He ran the fabric through his fingers. It was rough, like the way Dismas’s stubble felt beneath his hands. 

The guilt should have left by now. It usually left as Dismas did. Yet, there it was, gnawing away at his heart.

He stayed like that until his watch began to beep, reminding him of his dinner reservations. He folded the bandana into a neat square, stood, then slipped it into his back pocket.

This was for the best.

It had to be.

[shion-yu]

False Alarm

Sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. An early Cliff and Theo/Al story, mostly fluffy banter and then some angst. 2,810 words, no TWs but CWs low intensity hospital setting, transplant talk, mention of internalized homophobia.

Cliff wasn't sure what to make of Theo, the lawyer he was doing his summer internship with before he started his first semester at NYU. When Cliff thought about what a lawyer should look like, he had certain expectations. A lawyer was extremely formal, never smiled or laughed, never asked questions, and always wore a suit. The only one of these qualities that Theo possessed was the suit wearing, and even then he could occasionally be caught wearing khakis and a button down. 

The craziest thing about Theo though, was that he was openly gay and no one seemed to care. It floored Cliff. His mom had always looked down on gay couples they saw in public. She looked down on everyone, but especially people who "chose" to stand out. Yet here Theo was, with a big office overlooking the financial district and an incredible case record under his belt and nobody ever seemed to disrespect him. He even had a picture of his partner on his desk where anybody could see, including the clients who came for consultations and business partners whose opinions really mattered. Cliff didn't understand how Theo got away with it, but he did. It definitely left an impression.

This particular day though, Theo seemed frazzled and distracted. Cliff was sitting across from him in Theo's office just having his weekly check-in with the lawyer. Theo usually seemed very put together and focused, but today he kept checking his personal cell phone on his desk like he was waiting for something. "So Cliff," Theo said, "Still think you'd like to go to law school after your first month here?"

"I think so," Cliff said. He tried not to watch as Theo glanced at his phone yet again. "I like the research. And I like going to court."

"You've certainly got the brains for it," Theo said. "When you're at NYU, take lots of diverse classes. Everything can always tie back into law and make you better at practicing it."

"Thanks," Cliff said.

"No problem," Theo said casually, but he was immediately distracted when his phone buzzed with a call. He looked at the caller ID and nearly jumped out of his seat. "Sorry Cliff, I've got to take this," Theo said hurriedly. "You're fine here, just, hey, pour yourself a coffee or something." Theo motioned to the full coffee pot on one of his other desks and then stopped paying attention to Cliff.

Cliff tried not to be nosy and listen, but it was hard not to when they were in the same room. He made himself a cup of coffee even though he preferred tea and sipped awkwardly. He hoped it gave the impression he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation Theo was having that clearly was not about work. "Are you sure that's all it is?” Theo was saying, his voice concerned. “Tomorrow? What time? Does he need to stay overnight? NPO after midnight? Okay. Yes, of course. Thank you Doctor."

Theo set his phone down, took a deep breath and then sat back in his office chair. "Sorry Cliff," he said. "You can come back now."

Cliff awkwardly returned to his seat a cross from Theo, placing the steaming cup of coffee on a coaster at the edge of Theo's desk. "That was my partner's doctor, I've been waiting for that call, sorry to be so distracted," Theo said. "He's going to the hospital for a minor procedure tomorrow, so I probably won't see you for the rest of the week." 

"Oh," Cliff said. What else was he supposed to say? "I hope he's okay."

"He's fine, thank you," Theo said. "He's got a port, I don't know if you're familiar, it's like an IV in his chest. Anyways, it got infected so they're replacing it with a new one." Cliff honestly had no idea what Theo was talking about, but it sounded serious. It seemed Cliff wasn't very good at hiding his expression, because Theo added, "He's got a disease called cystic fibrosis, so he's in and out of the hospital a lot. I don't want to say it's not a big deal, but well, it's not an emergency. Don't worry." 

"Okay," Cliff said. He nodded to the framed photo on Theo's desk. In it, a slightly younger Theo had one arm slung over the shoulders over a guy with curly dark hair, thick glasses and dimples. "That's him, right?"

"Yup," Theo confirmed. "His name's Al. He's a good guy." The way Theo was smiling as he said this was different from the way Theo usually smiled at everybody else. Cliff didn't know how to define it - fond, perhaps? "Next time he comes around I'll let you meet him. You'd like him." Now Theo had a weirdly knowing look on his face, as if he understood something Cliff didn't. 

"Sure," Cliff said. He was so confused. 

His confusion didn't abate even when he did meet Al about three weeks later. Al was shorter than Theo and wore very casual clothing that stuck out in the law firm. His cheeks were pink compared to the rest of his olive skin, which Cliff soon realized was from coughing. Al coughed the entire time he was in the office to drop off a lunch for Theo, and he dragged a metal cylinder on wheels behind him that connected to clear oxygen tubing in his nose. Cliff was startled; the oxygen hadn't been in the picture, nor had he expected Al to sound quite so sick. But everybody else in the office seemed to know Al well and think nothing of it. Al himself seemed energetic and cheerful, which was not how Cliff pictured somebody sick in his head.

Still, Cliff wasn't used to sick people, even if Al was apparently not contagious. He was sort of hoping Theo had forgotten about his promise to let him meet Al, but Cliff had no such luck. "Al, this is my intern, Cliff Barrows," Theo said as he led Al right to Cliff's desk.

Obviously unable to hide when his boss stood right in front of him, Cliff stood up and forced a polite smile. "Nice to meet you," Cliff said, sticking his hand out to shake.

"Nice to meet you too! I finally meet the famous Cliff," Al grinned, shaking Cliff's hand. His grip was firm and sure, not weak at all.

"Famous in a good way," Theo reassured Cliff. "I told him all about what a good kid you are."

"Uh, thanks," Cliff said, trying to keep a questioning tone from creeping into his voice. He felt awkward standing right there in front of the two of them under scrutiny. "Um... I'm just gonna get back to work then," he said, sitting at his desk and typing something nonsensical into an open word document until he was sure the pair was no longer looking at him. 

Cliff tried to look subtle as the two men walked away. Theo led Al towards his office with one hand around Al's back, Al coughing as they went, but he was also laughing. Cliff had no idea how he could seem so happy. Cliff had googled cystic fibrosis when Theo had mentioned it and it didn't really sound like a laughing matter to him. It sounded incurable and painful. Then again, Cliff supposed they couldn't be gloomy all the time. Or maybe even most of the time, since Al and Theo seemed to be normal unlike Cliff who could indeed go around with a perpetually serious look on his face. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Al sat heavily in the chair on the client side of Theo's desk, coughing until Theo handed him a glass of water to sip on. "Thanks," he croaked, smiling up at his partner gratefully. 

Theo sat across the desk from Al in his chair. Although Al got to see Theo in his formal attire every day before and after work, seeing him wear it at work always felt different. Theo carried himself so confidentially and spoke with such a professional tone, it honestly made Al want to grab his tie and kiss him right there in the office. Theo's desk had definitely seen some action after hours before.

"Stop looking at me like that," Theo said, opening up the salad Al had brought him.

"Like what? I don't know what you're talking about," Al said innocently.

Theo mixed a packet of dressing up with his salad. "Like I'm a piece of meat."

"Aren't you?" 

Theo shook his head with a smirk. "You're so damn predictable," he said. "You keep your hands to yourself mister, I've got court later today. Thanks for the food." 

"You're welcome," Al said. "By the way, you were so right about that Cliff kid." 

"Right?" Theo said around a mouthful of lettuce. "He's definitely gay."

"So gay," Al agreed. "And adorably awkward.”

“He’s actually a better speaker than you might think,” Theo said thoughtfully. “When it comes to work stuff anyways,” he added, seeing Al’s incredulous look of doubt.

“He gave me the ‘wow, you must be dying’ look,” Al said. “You should probably tell him I’m fine. And that his face is an open book." 

Theo shrugged. “I don’t know how reassuring ‘My partner’s fine, just waiting for a double lung transplant’ is, but sure, I’ll tell him.”

Al rolled his eyes. “Thanks a lot,” he said sarcastically. “Anyways, I’m heading home. What do you want to eat tonight?” 

“Anything. Shake Shack. Anything."

"So... Shake Shack," Al said. 

"How did you know?" Theo grinned. "Okay, be careful on your way home baby. Wear your mask on the train."

"Ugh, Theo, it's July," Al whined, but Theo knew he would behave. Al was usually great about taking care of himself, but especially now when he couldn't risk any illnesses lest it ruin his chances of being on the transplant list. It was also why he tried not to leave the house much these days, but he'd had a doctors appointment a few blocks away so had taken the opportunity of already being out to visit Theo. 

Theo kissed Al goodbye and watched his partner walk down the street from the windows in his office, dragging the wheeled oxygen tank behind him. He shook his head, wishing Al would just take a cab, but Al hated wasting money if he could do it the cheaper way and Theo suspected it was far more about independence than cost at this point in their lives. 

They'd been together about five years now and had lived with each other since day one, having met as roommates. Theo had been in his last year of law school while Al was struggling after the death of his husband. At first they were just friends and that was enough. Right person, wrong time Theo thought, because it didn't seem like Al was ready for anything more. But then Al had gotten really sick and although he insisted Theo didn't need to worry about it, it was impossible. Theo spent every day studying at the hospital so that Al wouldn’t be alone until feelings became inevitable and Al made the first move. The rest was history. 

Theo smiled to himself thinking about Al, absently eating his salad until he was interrupted by his phone ringing. It was Al, which was odd because Al had only just left his office. "Babe? You okay?" Theo answered.

"Meet me at the hospital," Al said in a breathless rush. "I’ve got lungs."

Theo was speechless. This was the moment they'd dreamed of for months, and it was happening now. Right now. "Theo?" Theo realized he hadn’t said anything in response.

"Holy shit. Holy shit, I love you so much. Yeah, okay, I'm coming."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

False alarms for this sort of thing should be illegal, Theo thought to himself angrily. The doctor had just left the room and explained he was so sorry, but the lungs weren't a perfect match after all. They were going to someone else - someone who wasn't Albert. Al had been congenial about it, nodding as if it didn't bother him. But Theo was livid and could barely contain his anger as the doctor closed the door. 

The silence in the room was heavy. Al had been changed into a gown, given CHG bath and gotten labs done, and had his port hooked up to fluids. He sat there in the hospital bed where they'd waited with excitement for the past two hours, now lost for words. 

"It's not fair," Theo said finally. His hands were balled into fists, which were shaking. "How can they do this?" Al was quiet. He looked out the window with a calmness that Theo didn't understand. "You're not mad?" 

"No," Al said softly. "I'm not mad. Can we go home though?" He was already going for his clothes, unbuttoning his gown. "Hey, if you hurry you can still make it to court this afternoon." 

Theo shook his head. "I don't care about court. I already told work I didn't know when I'd be back. They're going to be more surprised when I say nevermind." 

"Sorry," Al said, as if he’d ruined a casual date and not lost the opportunity of a lifetime after it was crudely dangled in front of him.

"Don't apologize," Theo said. "If anything, this place should be apologizing to you. How are you so calm?"

Al shrugged. "Someone else is getting lungs. Someone who needs them. I'm not going to be mad about that."

Theo sighed. "You're right, but I'm still pissed. Can I be pissed for you?"

Al seemed to consider it for several seconds and then nodded. "Yeah. You can be pissed for both of us, okay?" 

"I gotcha, baby," Theo said. He forced a tight smile at Al, who gave a tired smile back. 

Al was discharged and they arrived home around dinner time. Theo was starving, but Al said he didn't feel like eating. Theo didn’t feel like seeing anybody else for the rest of the day, even a delivery driver, and ended up throwing a frozen pizza in the oven. He called Al to the table when it was ready, hoping the smell would entice him. "You should eat just a little," Theo said. 

"I'm really not hungry," Al said quietly. "I just want to go to bed and have this day be over."

Theo felt a pang of pity and sighed. "I know. Just a few bites?"

Al finished half a slice and then shuffled off to bed. Theo ate the rest of the pizza alone, letting all the negative thoughts he was having get to him for just a few minutes. He chewed the pizza like it had personally done something offensive to him and then scrubbed the dishes clean, his stomach aching from eating too much. Then, he took a shower and forced himself to let all the tension leave him. He imagined it swirling down the drain with the soapy water, leaving him exhausted but calm. As upset as Theo was, Al was the one these things were happening to. He had to be strong for Al. 

Theo went to the bathroom, now in fresh pajamas and ready to be there for his partner. Al was lying on his side but not asleep and peeked over his shoulder at Theo. Theo sat next to him on bed and rested a hand on Al's arm. "Should we talk about it?" He asked.

"Nah. What is there to talk about?" Al said in his usual gentle tone. If Theo didn't know any better, he'd think Al didn't care, or was totally fine. But he also knew that wasn't possible and Al hid his feelings well. 

"What happened today was kind of crazy," Theo said carefully. "Crazy and honestly... not okay. It was like the biggest news of your life and then the biggest let down. It's a lot to take in."

Al sat up and looked at Theo. His green eyes were always so forbearing. "It is a lot," he said. "But ya know, I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be. Coz when I got the call, I didn't think, 'I'm going to live.' All I could think was, if I die, I'm not ready. So... Maybe today just wasn't the right time."

Theo hadn't expected Al to say anything like that. He swallowed down the lump that had risen in his throat and took Al's hands in his own. "You're right. It wasn't meant to be, and maybe it was for the better."

Al nodded in agreement, leaning forward to press his forehead against Theo's. "I love you, Theo," he said. "Thanks for being there for me." 

"I love you too," Theo said, taking Al’s hands in his own and squeezing them. "And next time you get the call, it's going to be the right match."

[claire-de-macarune]

Chapters: 9/? Fandom: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith Characters: Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith, Zelda Spellman, George Hawthorne, Rosalind "Roz" Walker, Reverend Walker, Faustus Blackwood, Edward Spellman, Hilda Spellman, Dr. Cerberus (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Sabrina Spellman, The Weird Sisters (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Prudence Night, Dorcas (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Agatha (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Harvey Kinkle, Theo Putnam Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, The little mermaid - Freeform, click for merwitches?, and Blackwood the Sea Bitch, hush gregory i am searching vibes, skateboarding lesbian? i thought she said sailboating lesbian, whoops, just trust me bro, Fluff, sooooo much fluff, Too much alliteration and imagery, I mean what did you expect?, Internalized Homophobia, Royalty, Spellman shenanigans, crack fluff tbh, feat. le dinglehopper, some mild peril, lilith still says fuck men, the Spellman sisters being soft, honestly, they're the real love story in this fic Summary:

The Little Mermaid AU, as requested.

CHAPTER NINE IS HERE!!! CHAPTER NINE IS SOFT!!! (this has been a PSA.)

[moonfairydraws]

Lost on Danny Street

In honor of International day against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, thought I’d bring you a little story about a girl who got lost and ended up on a very special street.

A/N: in this story, my character Zophie is about 5 or 6. When I was a little older than her age, I got lost in a Disney world resort. It was thanks to cast members and some wonderful guests that I got reunited with my family. While I myself am cisgender, I tried to write it from my experience getting lost back then, as well as my experience working in a toy store where ladies like a certain one in the story existed. Although, we both get lost for very different reasons and the item I was left with was a hotel key. But that’s for another day. Enjoy

Words: 962

This happened a little bit ago. Back then, her family still called her by that name. She remembered that day, even the outfit she was wearing.

A blue striped shirt and overalls with a red car on the front. She’d protested the outfit, but all her other clothes had been dirty from an earlier tantrum.

It had actually been so bad, her older sister Lani had lamented and given her her phone to watch the little mermaid. But of course, she’d gotten bored and put it in her little pink purse.

They’d gone to get her new shoes and she’d desperately wanted a pair of sneakers with pink sequins and baby blue laces and a little mermaid on the side. But when she went to put them on the counter with her money a lady had put another pair in front of her.

“Wouldn’t you prefer these instead? They have sharks on them.”

“No. I don’t like sharks. I like mermaids. See, I got one on my purse.” She showed the lady

“Don’t be silly. Purses are for girls, not boys.” This made her cry. Why couldn’t she have the sneakers that she wanted? Why couldn’t she have a purse?

She’d run out of the small store. Run as fast as her little legs could take her. She’d probably run two blocks before she’d realized it.

“Papa? Sissy? Gracie? Where are you?” She was lost. Lost on an unfamiliar street. That’s when Lani’s phone had sung some Jonas Brothers song. “Sissy’s phone.”

“Oh thank the universe.” Her dad had been crying. “Son, where are you?”

She’d looked up at the nearest green street sign. “The green sign says D...”

“Sound it out sweetie.” Lani had said over the phone. “Like the lions do on the tv.”

“Dah....nn...why. Sh..tah.ree...t. Oh! Danny Street.” Thats when the phone had beeped. “Sissy! The screen is black! Fix it!”

But her sister wasn’t there to plug the phone in. She’d lost her connection to her family. It just made her cry more.

That’s when words appeared on the pavement in front of her. “Wh...ah...t...s... What’s....wah...rr...on....gah...waronga? I don’t know.”

“Danny baby, I don’t think he’s that advanced of a reader.” A voice came from behind her. It was a nice lady, with really nice hair and pretty makeup. Like....

“Ursula!” She loved Ursula, so her little brain had told her to run up and hug this lady. “Can your eel friends bring back my papa and sissies. I’ll give you my favorite dolly.” She’d pulled it out of her bag and given it to the woman.

The look on her face was sad before she realized what she’d meant, handing back her toy. “Oh you don’t need to give Miss Maura your dolly. Why don’t we get that phone of yours working again and get you all cheered up. Do you like ice cream?”

“Uh Huh. My favorite is chocolate with rainbow sprinkles and star sprinkles and blueberries.”

“Well, what a coincidence.” Maura had smiled and pointed at a counter, where a beautiful ice cream dish sat, overfilling with blueberries and rainbow and shiny star sprinkles.

While she’d gobbled up the treat, Maura had wiped off the gooey mess along with her tears. “Now, Sugar, you have to tell me what I can call you.”

“Well, it’s Teddy, but I don’t like it.” She frowned, letting ice cream drip on to her overalls. “I thought Sophie could be my name, but there’s a Sophia in my class at school and she’s really mean. I don’t want to be mean. Then I thought maybe Zoo, but that’s not right either. I can’t be a Zoo.”

Maura giggled. What was weird was that it also felt like the street was giggling too, but streets don’t giggle. “What about Zophie? It’s a little combo, spelled Z-o-p-h-i-e.”

“I like that.” She smiled. “Just call me Zophie Jones.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Zophie Jones.” Maura shook her hand.

“Aww, I want ice cream too!” Zophie heard Gracie’s voice behind her. “Papa! Can I get some ice cream too?”

“Sure.” There was her Papa. “Theo, I’m really sorry. I turned my back for one second and that lady hurt your feelings. But you can’t just run away like that.”

“Not Theo. Zophie.” She’d corrected him as Grace had gobbled up a magically poofed strawberry sorbet. It would be the first of many, but this was the most important thing to her. More important than some sparkly pink shoes.

“Zophie. Okay.” He’d hugged her close. “Promise me though, you come to me if that happens again.”

“Yes, Papa.”

“Well, after Miss Maura called, I did make a stop.” He pulled out a familiar box.

“My dolphin shoes! Can I wear them now?”

“First we should probably get you a bath and a nice nap. Does that sound good, little prince?”

“No Papa, she’s a little princess!” Gracie corrected.

“Right.”

“Okay Papa.” Zophie had climbed into her Papa’s arms. “Bye Ursula.”

“Bye Zophie.” Maura had ruffled her hair. “And remember, Danny The Street and me will just be a phone call away if you need somewhere to go.” Maura slipped Lani’s phone in Zophie’s purse.

That’s when she saw two words on the ground. Bye Zophie.

“Bye Danny.”

She hadn’t known it, but she’d find herself on that street many times after that. Whenever she’d needed a safe haven or somewhere to just have a friendly talk, she’d turn the corner and it always seemed to say Danny Street. The ice cream counter isn’t there anymore, but what was always had a flair about it. But hey, even a sentient street knows that sometimes all you need is a friend. And maybe something more filling than chocolate ice cream with rainbow and star sprinkles.

[bainelland]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith Characters: Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith, Zelda Spellman, George Hawthorne, Rosalind "Roz" Walker, Reverend Walker, Faustus Blackwood, Edward Spellman, Hilda Spellman, Dr. Cerberus (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Sabrina Spellman, The Weird Sisters (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Prudence Night, Dorcas (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Agatha (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Harvey Kinkle, Theo Putnam Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, The little mermaid - Freeform, click for merwitches?, and Blackwood the Sea Bitch, hush gregory i am searching vibes, skateboarding lesbian? i thought she said sailboating lesbian, whoops, just trust me bro, Fluff, sooooo much fluff, Too much alliteration and imagery, I mean what did you expect?, Internalized Homophobia, Royalty, Spellman shenanigans, crack fluff tbh, feat. le dinglehopper Summary:

The Little Mermaid AU, as requested.

[mvrlcy]

.･:*:･ﾟ’ twenty two year old cis male marley redd was made in brooklyn and attended st. jude’s. he still resides in new york, and are currently a professional ballet dancer. they are matching twin outfits in childhood photos, a boyfriend or hookup’s too-big hoodie with tights & leg warmers, scissors dragging against the bottom of pointe shoes, hours spent scrutinizing in front of a mirror and a docile, rosy-cheeked smile. onlookers say they resemble troye sivan.

it’s me... again. you’re going to get sick of me, i swear it. marley is an older muse of mine ( like all of a month old ) so he has... wait for it.... an actual bio!! and so does his brother who is played by my friend so like watch out for this Content™ also i’m very currently watching a movie so if this makes no sense, now you know why!

trigger warnings: ed related content, homophobia & some nsfw mentions

HISTORY

marley was born on the gold coast of australia, two minutes older than his twin brother ( @cmerys ) and their younger brother. their mother was a fairly successful ballet dancer for the australian ballet and i’d imagine she wanted both twins to follow in her footsteps. marley took up dancing like he was born to do it ( and perhaps he was ) but he seemed to get all the talent in that regard, leaving nothing left for emery as far as dance was concerned. that was alright though – one prodigy is probably all a family can hope for in the first place. with marley in a place of honor in his mother’s eyes and their younger brother being dad’s favorite for his more stereotypical masculine interests, that left little room for emery. marley, being a compassionate and caring lil darling, took it upon himself to care for his younger brother. he’ll tease em mercilessly but he’s the only one allowed to do so.

tw eating disorder the only other thing that marley cares about nearly as much as he does his twin brother is dance. classical music flows through his blood and from as early as age four, he’s been putting in countless hours at the dance studio and practicing at home in his ‘free time’. he’s good. really good. so good that they moved to brooklyn ny at the age of 12 because he’d learned all he can learn in australia. but it’s also affected him mentally. to be the best, he works out obsessively and cuts corners food wise. the twins were already slender but over the years, marley dropped down in weight until he was little more than muscle on bone. he doesn’t notice it as a problem and in some ways, his profession encourages it. it’s kind of your ballet dancer trope for a reason! he’s gotten the nickname little redd for his incredibly petite frame and the only one who has caught on is emery who tries to help in his own soft way.

personality wise, marley tries to make up for the shyness of his twin brother. bright and open, he’s literally a social butterfly. it’s also a bit of a cover for his own crippling internalized insecurities, assuming that by projecting this saccharine sweet demeanor, no one will look below the surface. but essentially just picture a little angel boy and you have marley redd. he tries to be friends with everyone, avoids conflict like its his job and tends to be a little taken advantage of for how genuinely nice he is.

he’s known from a young age that he was gay. it’s never really been a question. he was assumed as much since he was a male ballet dancer and he kind of hated fitting into that stereotype but alas. one cannot help who one is attracted to! plus he’s usually found with a bit of makeup on ( a hobby he picked up from his dance ) and wearing very effeminately oversized hoodies and tight leggings w/ leg warmers. it’s not hard to guess. he was never really popular in the first place ( more so just with girls who kind of wanted him to be their token gay best friend, even before he came out ) so in order to save emery ( who is also queer ) the pain and bullying of being the out kid in school, marley came out first! in fact, em never really had to – people just assumed.

tw n*sfw? sexually, marley is more experienced than his angelic demeanor lets on. he accidentally flirts and tends to say yes to guys way too easily. it’s like deceptive innocence on the streets and anything but innocent in the sheets. he loves being straight boys’ first gay experience or being the obediently little sub for those with more skills and prowess. down for anything bc again, a little gullible. it’s where his secret has come into play. emery got a boyfriend at the end of last year! his first bc lil em is very shy and docile. marley... was a little jealous but it was cool! it was fine! until the boyfriend started making passes at him. and marley really did think the boyf was hot and emery wasn’t ready for that step yet so. one thing led to another and they started up a tryst! a tryst he felt guilty about every time it happened but y’know. marley got himself a boyfriend but continually found himself with emery’s. eventually the cheating and the betrayal of his brother got to be too much. at a halloween party where he snuck off with emery’s beau, he eventually confessed to his brother afterwards that he cheated (not who with though). he was subsequently dumped by his own boyfriend but can’t for the life of him figure out why or how he found out.

PRESENT ( IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE, READ THIS )

with his skill in dance quickly growing in the creative nyc setting, marley auditioned for plenty of renowned ballet companies. much to his surprise and delight, the nyc ballet invited him to join their corps. they put him and emery (because he wasn’t going to leave his bby brother behind ) up in an apartment of their own, freeing them from under the thumb of their parents. he’s working extra hard because he wants to be a featured dancer someday ( and someday soon! the youngest ever soloist was 20 so he’s already two years behind! a boy’s gotta work which is also dangerous bc he’s already pushing himself too hard! )

summary: marley is a tiny dancing cliche and a little softie sweetheart who just wants to be everyone’s friend. he has his own mental / image issues which he buries beneath a smile but all in all he’s living his dream. he loves his twin brother more than life itself and has been in brooklyn since 12 and in the ballet since last year so give me all the plots!!

IDEAS!!

hookups

his most ex boyfriend ( they broke up after halloween and dated about 4 months ) ** this is gonna be a wc if no one can take it up

emery’s ex boyfriend -- THEO

'straight boy’ crushes

gym rat -- KENNY

close friends ( all or most probably girls tbh ) -- GIGI

big party friend group -- MARGOT, more open

someone interested in ballet who idolizes marley

dancer friend

boy he’s gonna try and set up with emery out of guilt

neighbor

bad influence

older ex boyfriends / ex flings 

someone protective over marley

mutually protective over emery -- JAMILA

someone he’s protective over -- JAIME

someone whose boyfriend marley flirted with / maybe slept with 

sibling type friendship 

wingperson -- JAMILA

unrequited crush

childhood friends who visited australia

mutual dislike

confidant ( besides em ) -- GIGI

 that’s.... all i got