#theory that he’ll k-word me?

[everafall]

canon-compliant touchstarved. leander x gn! reader

¡ spoilers for the demo !

played the demo three times and got some juicy leander lore thanks to ais. going insane about the fact that he likes people taking charge despite being a leader of his own faction.

got his “route” the first time. the scene where he tells you that you can tie him up if it makes you any better, when the bartender mentions his nightly “escapades”… HMMM.

imagine him checking up on you after meeting up with the love interests and asking them about each other. out of the blue, he was like “do you wanna touch me again?” imagine you domming a big man like him bcjndncjfj.

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Byakuya Kuchiki (Bleach) Short Story: Chapter 5

It’s become apparent that the only thing you can do is avoid Byakuya. You can’t deal with anything. Not his confession or your own feelings. In theory, this is your dream. He literally said that he wants to be your lover.

“I should be happy that our feelings are mutual.”

Although that is the case, you can’t help but think about what it means. Not just his position as a captain, but his status as a noble. You aren’t naive. You’ve heard about his late wife. Rukia’s sister.

Hisana.

His family hated him for marrying someone who wasn’t what they viewed as important, but he did anyway.

“What’ll happen if they find out he’s interested in someone as plain as me.”

Surely he’ll lose the respect of his clan.

You let out another sigh as you try to stay focused on restocking the gauze. Hanataro has noticed your worried expressions.

“Is everything alright (Y/N)-chan?”

“Hai.”

You work up a smile on your face as you finish up. Byakuya seems to have gotten quite busy. Rukia had told you that he was appointed a mission in the world of the living. Which gave you a little time to work through your thoughts.

Standing, you turn.

“I’ll be turning in.”

You bow and Hanataro watches as you walk out.

As you’re making your way through the squad barracks you try to settle your mind. But it’s no use. 

All you can think about is him.

His words.

His face.

Why did he have to be so perfect? Just a few months ago the both of you barely acknowledged each other.

Except maybe that’s not the whole truth. That first mission you did together. He said that he remembered you. Back when Aizen had everyone deceived. When you were just trying to be a good healer. Back then, just the thought of defeating a hollow was so out of the realm of possibility for you.

“Has he..always thought about me since then..”

You can’t help but wonder now. Because these feelings seem to have come out of nowhere and that seems so unlikely.

“(L/N)-san.”

The voice startles you, and standing right in front of your quarters is Byakuya. You almost bite your tongue.

How are you supposed to get out of this? It’s easy when he’s not around. But how do you explain all the other times that you’d literally disappeared when he showed up.

“K-Kuchiki-taicho, you’re back.”

You bow.

Maybe if you feign obliviousness, he won’t figure it out.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

Your body grows stiff and you rise slowly. Your eyes are sheltered by your hair. Just the thought of looking at him would be too much.

The silence speaks for itself.

“Is the thought of us together that unsettling to you?”

You press your hand to your chest at his question.

“I..I..”

You feel like crying.

“I see. I apologize. I won’t force you to do anything that you aren’t comfortable with. I should have been more considerate. I made feelings known, but I never asked how you felt. If those feelings were even returned.”

This is your chance to speak. Explain why this is so hard, but no words will leave your lips.

“Please excuse me.”

He turns in the opposite direction, walking away. With each step, there’s a tug at your heart. A subtle pull that hurts more than you expected. You clench your fists tighter.

“Coward…I’m a coward..”

Why can’t you just say the words.

Say the words.

SAY IT!

“I-I LIKE YOU!!”

Byakuya froze in his spot. He turns, and his expression shows obvious shock.

“I..I like you so much b-but… but we’re different. What if you end up in pain..fighting with your family because of me..”

“So that’s it.”

It’s not a matter of unrequited feelings.

You mean to say more, but in a matter of seconds he's standing right in front of you.

“K-Kuchiki-”

“My family’s views on who I pursue do not concern me.”

You’re a bit speechless.

“I have done my part. I once placed my pride before my integrity and I made a vow to never do that again. The ones that I hold dear, they are the only ones whose opinions hold any kind of weight. The rest of them believe that status is the most important.”

When he reaches out and takes your hand, it slowly lowers from the protective position against your chest.

“If you return these feelings, then nothing else should matter.”

You might actually start crying. Byakuya brings your hand up to his lips, placing a tender kiss on your knuckles. Your cheeks heat up, and you can only gape. His stoic gaze that has always given off a sense of nonchalance is so much more tender.

“Do you truly feel the same?”

You nod, cheeks still a heated red.

“H-Hai!”

It’s one of the rare times that he smiles, and it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen.

You never want to forget this. 

[ultimateloserboy]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER TO BRING UP THE SILLY SAD DUCK SONG AND TODAY IS THE FUCKING DAY. (this isnt even about the song but i love it) ok so a realization just hit me like a sack of bricks. let me find the words to phrase this, forgive me its like 3:30am. so the death episode always spins around in my head. i think the reason ive been so confused about it is because red guy and yellow guy seem to have somewhat serious reactions to ducks death, but duck is just fucking around in the coffin like the silly goose he is. but thats the thing i just realized. he was having his own reaction. he rang the buzzer over and over, constantly talking to the coffin and refusing to let it leave. i just assumed it was because he likes being annoying, which is also true, but think about it. duck was horrified of being alone. “just checking to make sure it still works” hes either scared it might break and he’ll lose contact, or hes just using that as an excuse to keep talking. “look, i made some new friends!” that line was about maggots. duck literally k//ls the house pet, why would he be friends with literal maggots? because he doesnt have anyone else. the maggots are the only thing keeping him company aside from the coffin. his desperation to keep the coffin with him always seemed to be so much more than just duck being obnoxious, and i think this is why. he was scared of being alone in that hole.

“The silly sad duck says hes sad because he cant find his friends” oh? but whats that over there? its yellow guy coming with a shovel :>>

(this isnt a theory, i doubt the song actually relates to this i just like the parallels. stream silly sad duck)

[crazyk-imagine]

According to Plan

Pairing: Steve Harrington/ Fem!reader

Characters: Fem!reader, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Eddie Munson, mentions of Dustin Henderson 

Warnings: Robin rambles, Steve and reader are a couple of dingus’, Eddie gets startled, bestie combo Eddie and Robin, Eddie acts like a child, Steve and reader are the “mom and dad” duo of the group, Steve is a simp for reader

Word Count: 4,425

*The plan eventually out the window, everyone was just happy Steve and the reader got together

The thing about Steve feeling like a waiter was inspired by Joe K confessing about his job before landing the role of Steve

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You pull up to your best friends’ new place of work. You take your keys out of the ignition and take a deep breath, preparing to make yourself look, as Robin said, sad and pathetic. 

You enter the cute, small, family friendly video store and immediately spot your female best friend, the aforementioned, Robin Buckley. 

“Robin,” you sigh, slumping over the movie rental checkout counter. 

-

Steve spins around from the movie shelf he was “restocking”, the bounce in his step further adds onto to the band girl’s very plausible theory about Steve has a crush on you. 

He’s not subtle about it, at all but, you haven’t noticed anything and if you, you haven’t said anything which is why you’re doing step one of her plan. 

Make dumb jock (Robin’s words) jealous enough to where he’ll ask you out (hopefully). 

-

“No, no,” she shakes your arm. 

This is not what she meant, not at all but, there’s another part of her that wants to see this play out… That part wins. 

She removes her hand from your shoulder. 

“Please,” you whine. “I need your help and you’re the only one I know who can help me.” 

“What do you need help with now?” She looks down at your dramatic self, with a bored expression on her face. 

You glance up, “you know how I told you I want to do more fun things, like get out there.” 

She nods. “I may have a date for this Saturday.” 

She knows you don’t… yet. 

A loud thunk and numerous vhs tapes falling on the ground distracts the two of you, you two glance over to find Steve rushing to pick up the box he dropped. 

You turn your heads to look back at one another, Robin gives you judging look, gesturing to Steve. 

You shake your head, leaning closer to her, “don’t be mean. He’s… cute like-” 

“Really, really cute. I know, but why the dingus?” 

You purse your lips, “the dingus is really nice and looks out for the younger kids.” 

“You’re not helping your case.” 

You push yourself so, you’re leaning on your elbows, “he may have been a major, major douche in the past but, he’s changed- like a lot. He’s back to the sweet boy I went to school with.” 

“Okay, that’s good but-” 

“But nothing… oh my god his-” 

“Don’t say it!” Robin covers your mouth before pulling it back, wiping her hand on her leg. “Ew! Did you really have to lick my hand?” 

“Have to, no. It happened, move on.” 

“So- uh- what’s this I hear about you having a date?” Steve slips himself into the empty space beside you, leaning on one elbow. 

You hum, turning to look at him, “wouldn’t you like to know.” 

He shrugs, “I don’t,” he clears his throat, “I wouldn’t be opposed to hearing what you think.” 

“What I think?” 

“About the guy you’re going on a date with.” 

“Right- uh-” you look over at Robin. 

She mouths, “lie.” 

“It’s someone I’ve known for a while actually, although we wouldn’t necessarily call it a date.” 

“What would you call it?” Steve asks, tilting his head. 

“It’s just an old friend.”

“Do Robin or I know this friend?” 

“Maybe. I’m sure Dustin has mentioned him before.” 

“Dustin’s mentioned him befo- no! No, you are not going on a date with Munson.” 

“Why not?” You ask, crossing your arms, tilting your head. 

His shoulders deflate, he knows your close to getting really upset and annoyed with him. “Well- he’s- I- yes, I don’t trust him.” 

“Then it’s a good thing you’re not going out with him.” 

He chuckles, “yeah.” Steve furrows his brows, realizing what you said, he chases after you. “Wait! I didn’t mean it…” your car is pulling away from the store, “like that.” He sighs, turning around to head inside. 

“Nice going dingus.” 

“Shut up.” 

“You know you need to apologize, right?” 

“No- I didn’t know. Thank you so much for that input, Robin.” 

-

You spin the cord, looking up at the ceiling, wondering how much more of an idiot you could be. 

“Hello?” 

You take a deep breath, “hey, Eddie.” 

“I don’t like that tone.” 

“What? My tone is perfectly normal.” 

He hums, “sure, yeah. What’d you call for?” 

“Can you come over to my place for movie night?” 

“I always do when it’s your turn.” 

“Right. Right.” 

“You, okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m just… peachy. Okay, that’s a lie. I’m an idiot.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

“I lied and told Steve I had a date then I went on to explain how I’m watching a movie with you and now he thinks I’m on a date with you,” a nervous chuckle escapes you. “Pretty funny, right?” 

“I take it back. You’re an idiot.” 

“Eddie,” you whine. 

“I’ll be over in fifteen.” 

“Thank you.” You hang up and sigh, resting your head against the wall, “I’m an idiot.” ‘You’re a dingus.’ Robin’s voice rings through your head. “Yep, I’m a dingus.” 

-

It’s been well over ten minutes and you’re sitting on your couch, zoning out while you wait for your (male) best friend to come over. Repetitive, rapid knocks on your door pull you out of your thoughts. You push yourself off the couch. 

“Hello?” An annoying voice says, extending the “O”. “Wake up or… stop zoning out. Hurry up!” 

You yank the door open, “what?” 

Eddie smiles, tilting his head, “someone’s grumpy. Now, move over. I brought food.” 

You shake your head, moving closer to the door so he can sneak by. “Why’d you buy so much?” You ask, pulling out your guy’s food and setting it onto plastic plates. 

Eddie pauses, his lower lip meets his upper lip making him look like a bulldog. ‘The one thing I didn’t think of. Great.’ “Uhh- I was super-” The doorbell interrupts him. “Oh, thank God.” He runs to the front door. 

“What if you’re letting in a serial killer!” You shout, not moving out of the kitchen. You move over the sink, running your semi greasy hands under the warm water. 

“Uh-” Steve pokes his head in the kitchen entrance, “not a serial killer.” 

You jump, turning your around to see that it is, in fact, Steve Harrington. “Hey?” 

“Hi… um… shut up,” he looks back at Eddie and Robin. “Not you,” he looks at you with wide eyes. 

A light chuckle escapes you through your nose, “yeah, I know Steve. Robin and Eddie?” 

“No,” Robin replies. 

Eddie turns to her with furrowed brows, giving her a “what the hell was that?” look. 

She shrugs, “I don’t know. I’m nervous. Actually, not so much nervous compared to the queasy feeling I have in stomach which is making my heartbeat fast, maybe a little too fast but-” 

“Get your butt’s in here you two.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Ma’am?” Eddie asks. 

“She’s bossy,” she leans closer to the metal head, “and she scares me when she’s bossy.” 

He snickers, “she scares you?” 

“Eddie!” 

He freezes, standing straight up. He leans his head closer to Robin, “I get it now.” 

“Bobbin, you know where the plates are, serve yours and Steve’s plates.” 

“You got it.” 

You give her a small, gracious smile, “thank you,” you reply in a sing song tone. You turn to look at Eddie with a clenched jaw and a hard stare. 

Eddie (dies on the inside) winces and looks over your shoulder, pointing at the two, “you know, maybe I should stay and help out. They seem like they need it.” 

“Oh no,” you bunch his shirt in your clenched fist, “we need to talk.” 

-

“You said this was a good idea,” Steve whispers to his co-worker and friend. 

“Actually, I said it was an idea.” 

“You-” he groans, “she clearly doesn’t want me here. Maybe I should just leave.” 

“No!” 

“No?” 

“No. If I have to stay and endure whatever God-awful movie that big, mullet haired, metal head brought over then so do you.” 

“I feel like I’m intruding on their date.” 

She shrugs, “you’ll be fine. I’m here.” 

He lets out a sarcastic laugh, “ha ha. Yeah, because that’s better.” 

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I planned this.” 

“Planned what?” 

“N-nothing.” 

“No,” he turns to face her, resting his side against the edge of the counter with his elbow supporting him. “You planned this? This whole night?” 

“We- not so much the whole night, whatever happened earlier was all you. But- uh- this- this-” 

“Ambush?” 

“Yes,” she smiles before realizing what he said, “no! You two are idiots and quite frankly, Edward and I are tired of watching the two of you pine after one another. It was going nowhere. You weren’t trying to go on a date with her and she wasn’t asking you out like she should have weeks ago,” she throws her hands up. “Honestly, if it weren’t for us, neither of you would be doing this.” 

Steve looks off the side, taking in everything Robin just told him. “Uh- what are you- so, you’re trying to tell me that she likes me too? Like I’d have a chance with her and everything?” 

“Pretty much, yeah. I’m the one who can’t talk or have a normal conversation with the girl I like, may potentially love, but we’re not talking about that right now. Anyway, yeah,” she nods. “Yeah, you do. I’m pretty sure the whole thing with her inviting Eddie over was a lie- or not so much a lie but like, she didn’t plan it and then you made her upset when you were judging her about her fake date and then this happened. I mean, sure, Eddie called me right after because he’s tired of her talking about you all the time-” 

A smile stretching across his lips, “she talks about me?” 

Robin turns to him with a raised brow, “you do the same thing.” 

“Yeah, but to actually hear it and not just imagine it…” 

“You’ve imagined her talking about you before?” 

“It was more of me being hopeful than an idea.” 

-

“Why… did… you… call… them?” 

Eddie rubs the sore area of his arm, “ow!” 

You go to swat at his arm again. 

He stops you, “okay, enough. That’s enough, alright? Jeez, man. Why’d you have to punch my arm?” 

“I didn’t punch you.” 

“Say that to my arm.” 

You glance down at his leather jacket covered arm, “I didn’t punch you.” Your eyes travel back up to his face, “what?” 

“I can’t believe you talked to my arm. And Harrington likes you,” he scoffs, shaking his head. 

“He doesn’t like me.” 

“Oh, please. He would ruin his “perfect” hair just to prove he’s so goddamn in love you, it’s unreal.” 

“Ruin his-” 

“Food’s ready,” Robin says with a smile as she stands in the doorway, holding her plate. 

You look away from the metal head, “of course, it’s ready. It’s fast food.” 

“That’s true but, I made it look presentable… no help to him,” she nudges her head in Steve’s direction. 

“I didn’t realize I had to help you when you never asked.” 

“I didn’t think I had to.” 

“You know what-” 

You step towards the two, “hey, hey. How about we go sit in the living room and watch the movie pile Eddie and I created this week?” 

“Okay,” Steve smiles at you. 

Robin steps out of your way, raising her brows at Eddie. 

Step one and two, done. 

“We’ll just head into the living room and figure out what we want to watch.” 

“Nothing stupid,” you shout at the two. 

“We make no promises.” 

-

You shake your head, entering the kitchen to grab the last few fix ins you all need in order to properly enjoy the movie. 

“I can help.” 

“Oh, thanks,” you sigh deeply enough to move the few flyaway hairs from your face. 

“Don’t mention it.” 

“I guess Scoops ahoy really did something for yah, huh?” He turns back to you, a confused expression takes over, “what do you mean?” “Look at you, you’re a natural.” 

“I feel like a waiter.” 

“And you look adorable doing so,” you say before you can stop yourself. You look away, ignoring his shocked and red face. “Come on,” you mumble. You pass him, setting a plate down on the coffee table in front of the couch. 

Eddie immediately grabs it. 

“Eddie, did you forget the drinks?” asks Robin. 

He looks at her with his mouth full. “I had my hands full,” he says but it comes out in a bunch of random mumbles. 

She rolls her eyes, “you’re a dingus. How could you forget the drinks? The one thing we need in order to make it through the night or any movie. I mean seriously, did you get high before you ordered the food or something?” 

He scoffs, “no.” 

“… I’m taking that as a yes.” 

“Well, then I retract my vote on your movie.” 

“What? No.” 

-

You walk away, planning to get the drinks before a brawl starts. 

“Don’t be alarmed when you see another good-looking person in the room?” 

You shake your head, lightly chuckling to yourself, “what?” 

He shakes his head as he looks at the ground, “nothing- it’s uh- it’s nothing. Pretend you didn’t hear anything.” 

“How could I not when the Steve “the hair” Harrington is pulling some of his classic moves on little ol’ me?” 

A quiet chuckle escapes him, “first off, that name died when I lost my party title. And second, they’re not my “classic” moves, I just- I really,” he sighs. “I have something to tell you.” 

You reach into the cabinet, pulling out four glasses. “Like what?” 

He opens his mouth but closes it when he realizes he doesn’t know how to say that he wants to take you out, on a date. 

“Yeah, Steve?” You move around the kitchen, preparing the drinks for you all. 

He stutters, unsure of how to actually come out and say it. 

You finish filling up the last cup to see his brows furrowed so much, you were afraid he was going to have an aneurysm or something. You purse your lips, debating with your inner thoughts. ‘How bad would it be if I asked? It could potentially end our friendship and then things would be awkward for everyone… yeah, not a good idea… what if- no, no…’ 

Steve waves his hand in front of your face. 

You owlishly blink, “yeah?” 

He takes a deep breath, leaning onto the counter, his elbow holding him up. “I,” he gulps, looking down at the countertop. “I want to ask you something… something that possibly ruin our friendship.” 

‘Oh.’ 

“I… ‘ve been working the courage to ask you out.” 

“Ask me out?” You repeat, not quite sure you heard him right and that he means what you hope he means. 

He looks up, noticing that you don’t have a disgusted expression on your face. He slightly perks up, gaining the confidence he’s needed for this. “I- I want to take you out on a date.” 

“You do?” Your lips slowly stretch into a small, bashful smile. 

He nods, finding himself smiling along with you. “Yeah, I want to take you out on a date.” 

You nod, the fear and worry you felt earlier is so far out the window now. “Okay… when?” 

“When are you free?” 

You tilt your head with raised brows, “you know when I’m free. Oh, and I don’t want you to think we have to go out or anything like that. We can still do fun things without going to those fancy restaurants or whatever you had in mind. Hell, I’d be happy if we just sat in your car and talked.” 

The corner of his lips tug upwards, knowing full well, that you wouldn’t let him spoil you (even though he does in little ways like making sure there’s an extra jacket [that he bought two of so you could steal it… like the other ones] or when he gives you an extra free scoop in your cup at scoops ahoy [even though its technically stealing] but his boss is never around so). “Good thing I’ve never once thought of that.” 

You nod, looking away from him grabbing two cups, “good.” 

Steve grabs the other two glasses, using his head to gesture for you to go in the living room. 

You walk by, shaking your head with a smile dancing across your lips. 

-

Robin starts smacking Eddie’s (already) sore arm. 

He whines, grabbing Robin’s wrist, holding it. “Ow.” 

She yanks her wrist out of his grasp to cover his mouth. “Shhh!” She shushes him. “Look! Look!” 

“What? What?” 

She grabs his chin, forcing him to look at the new future “it” couple. “See the eyes they’re making at each other? It’s going as planned.” 

“And you said this wasn’t gonna work.” 

“Oh, shut up! I did not.” 

“Hey, kids?” 

“We’re not kids!” They both shout. 

“Then don’t act like children,” you chastise the two, rolling your eyes. “Anyway, I came here to ask if you two would grab your glasses because I know you both are thirsty, I mean look at you two. You have food all over your faces and- oh, lord- you’ve eaten all your food. What are you two going to eat during the movie?” You step closer holding the glasses for two to take, they do. You grab a couple of napkins, staking them on top of one another. “Alright, come here Rockstar.” 

Eddie pouts, “no.” 

You purse your lips, placing your hands on your hips. 

“She put her hands on her hips,” Robin whispers, smacking Eddie’s other arm, “she put her hands on her hips.” 

“Shut up. Shut up. I know.” 

You sigh, turning to ask Steve if he could get you wet napkins but wind-up smiling. “Thank you, dear.” Your snaps in Eddie’s direction, “hands.” 

He continues to pout as he holds his hands up for you. 

You wipe his hands free of the mixed juice dripping off the burger from the tomato and lettuce before moving onto his face. 

He groans as you do so. 

“Oh, shut up. You big baby.” 

“He’s only acting like a baby because you treat him like one,” Steve chimes in, handing Robin the other wet napkin. 

“Oh no. No no. I do not treat him like a baby. He acts like one more than anything.” 

Steve takes a minute to think about it. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

“Hey, Harrington. I am more of a man than you. At least, I didn’t take eight months to ask out the girl I’d been crushing on for over a year.” 

You toss the napkin on the table, turning to look at the man of the hour. “I’m sorry, over what and took how long?” 

“I told you,” Robin adds with some snark. 

You turn to her, “shut up.” 

“No… no, you know what. I won’t. I will not shut up. I have had to deal with the two of you dance around each thinking the other doesn’t have feelings for you when- oh, yeah? I’ve been the one telling you two to just- just do it, ask each other out.” She flops back against the couch, blowing the hair out of her eyes. “Why am I the cupid in this weird quartet… are we even a quartet? Does anyone here know what a quartet even is?” 

“Bobbin- Bobbin,” you grab her shoulders, shushing her. “We get it. You were right.” 

She scoffs, “thank you.” 

“Now hang on a minute. I’m pretty sure I helped with this too.” 

“Eddie now is not the time,” you tell him, backing away from your (female) best friend. You slap your hands on your thighs before shrugging, “let’s just- let’s move on from this, okay?” 

The two on the couch grumble their responses. 

“What are we watching?” 

“What if we do Footloose?” Steve asks (knowing full well it’s one of your favorite re-watch movies). 

You make an attempt to hide the smile trying to creep up on your face. 

“I like your way of thinking.” 

He smiles back at you. “Scoot over, mullet-head.” 

“You’re one to talk “Steve the hair Harrington”,” Eddie bites back. He sees the look Steve is giving him and raises his hands, “fine, fine.” Eddie pushes himself closer to Robin, squishing her against the arm of the couch. 

“Eddie,” she shoves him away from her using her shoulder, “get off me.” 

“Alright, alright. I get it.” He’s off the couch and bounces on one of the unoccupied chairs. 

“Robin?” 

“Yeah?” She asks with a mouthful of candy. 

“Off the couch,” Steve uses his hand as a guide to the other spare chair, opposite the metal head. “And take the candy out of your pocket before it stains and gets stuck in your pocket.” 

“Okay, dad.” 

“Don’t you use that tone with him, young lady.” 

“Okay, sorry, mom.” 

“Why does she get the apology and I don’t?” 

“She’s scarier and has the “I will properly punish you” type of attitude… like a… mom.” 

“Oh, so I’m not good enough to give a proper punishment.” 

“In the non-kinky way, yes.” 

“Shut up,” Steve tells Eddie. 

“Hey, hey,” you place a hand on his shoulder, “let’s just sit down and watch the movie, yeah?” 

“But-” 

You slowly raise a brow. 

His shoulders deflate, “fine.” 

You instantly perk up, a smile stretching across your lips. “Good,” you stand on your tippy toes and peck his check, running off to find the movie and put it in your vhs player. You run back to Steve, bouncing beside him. You turn to look at him, “are you ready?” 

He scoots as close as he can to you (not wanting to disturb the kiddos). “Always.” 

-

About a half hour into the movie, you can’t stop thinking about what Eddie and Robin said. 

You set one leg onto the ground, leaning closer into his personal space (not that he cares). “For the record, I think you’d make an excellent dad.” 

He awkwardly leans in closer to you, “you think?” 

You nod, grabbing his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders, “I know so.” 

His stiff posture deflates, and he settles into you, relaxing his body so both, you and he could comfortable and enjoy the movie. 

Maybe it was a good thing that he took a chance and asked you out. 

And it turns out you were right. 

-

Your guys first date night was supposed to be in a nice, fairly fancy restaurant, nothing like Enzo’s (it’s a little too fancy for the both of you). But, non the less, he tries to take you to a nice restaurant… during one of the worst nights ever. 

The weather calls for rain, around your date time, he had to improvise quick (even though the two of you are already drenched). 

“I told you sitting in your car, talking was a good date idea,” you say, covering your mouth while you try to chew the bite of your burger that you just took. 

He nods, wiping the corner of his mouth with his first knuckle, “I know. I know but, hey. This makes for a good story.” 

“It does… I’m happy that I get to share it with you.” 

“Yeah?” 

You nod, “mmhmm.” 

He gulps, feeling nervous. Steve sets his food down, wiping his hand on his pants. Do his hands feel sweaty? It feels like they are. ‘Is this a good idea?’ 

“Steve?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You, okay?” 

“I’ve- uh- I’ve got something to ask you.” 

“Okay,” you set your food down beside his. 

“I-um- I wanted to ask- I wanted,” he clears is throat. “I was hoping to ask…” 

“Just spit it out already!” 

He jerks back, placing a hand over his heart, “Jesus! Alright, fine! Do you wanna be my girlfriend?!” The adrenaline is keeping him all hyped up and… loud. 

“You gonna keep screaming?” 

“… No.” 

“Good because my answer is yes, you dingus.” 

“You’ve been hanging out with Robin a little too much.” 

“I beg to differ.” 

“Okay.” 

“Let’s go back to my place. We can finish our food and shower and get warm because it’s so cold right now.” 

“You got it. I can’t have my girl turning into an ice cube now.” 

‘My girl.’ You don’t know if you shivering has anything to do with the fact that your cold and wet from the rain or because your boyfriend calling you- well- that. You hand him a blanket. 

He’s quick to tuck it against his hips. 

You settle in beside him on the couch. 

He wraps his arm around your shoulders (secretly stealing your body heat) and provides you with his warmth. “What was it you told Robin over the phone? That this was the best date you’ve been on ever.” 

“Oh, shut up,” you smack his chest. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I not supposed to be cocky?” 

“No, you Farah Faucet hairspray punk.” 

He turns his head away from you, but you see it- you see how red his cheeks are. 

“… how do you know that?” 

“Dustin tends to ramble when he and Robin are together.” 

“That little-” 

“Ah-ah. No, we like Dusty.” 

“Not right now we don’t.” 

“Don’t pout.” You peck his cheek. 

He turns his head, staring at you with sad eyes and a pitiful pout, “I think you missed.” 

“Oh, shut up.” 

“Give me a kiss and I will.” 

“No because then you’ll get greedy.” 

“Only because I’m getting so much attention from my beautiful and gorgeous girl.” 

“So, I should stop then?” 

“No,” he shakes his head, “definitely don’t do that.” 

You hum, “mkay.” 

“I won’t get greedy, I promise.” 

“Alright, alright.” You let out a fake sigh, leaning closer aiming for his cheek when he swoops down and pulls you in for a soft, gentle kiss leading to a slow and passionate make-out session. 

You have to pull away, you need to breath. With your eyes still closed, you take a deep breath. “So greedy.” 

“Only for you.” 

A muffled chuckle escapes you; you open your eyes to find him staring at with such an intense and yet innocent stare. “What?” 

“Nothing, nothing… just starin.” 

“Creeper.” 

“Only for you.” 

“Well, don’t you know how to make a girl feel special.” He leans down, pecking your cheek before resting his head onto yours. 

You know he’s tired, you are too. 

Your eyes slowly begin to drift shut, you let the sleep take over. 

The corner of your lips tug upwards when you think about Steve and your relationship and how it all started, all according to plan.  

[kinnsporsche]

i was so ready for the pool scene but I got this episode instead :/ I don’t even know what to say. is kinn really this stupid?? falling for tawan’s lies again? tell me he’s not this stupid. I honestly don’t know what to think. I’ve seen some people theorize that he believes Porsche is innocent and he’ just acting like he’s falling for it but idk I would like to believe this theory but I feel like he genuinely doesn’t trust Porsche. which is so absurd?? he literally didn’t do anything? 1/8

why would eavesdropping on t prove he’s a mole? I seriously dont understand. god his facial expressions when k said to lock him up. the way he was confused at first and rightfully so like he just wanted to help?? and the second time he tried to reason with him because this is nonsense and how does k not see it?? by the third time he just completely gives up and it’s so heartbreaking. apo’s acting was so good in this scene I can’t even put into words the multitude of emotions he goes through. and at the end when he thought k was coming to get him and said ‘I knew you’d trust me’ GOD the angst in this show.I swear to god tankhun is the only one with the braincells in this show.he likes to act “crazy” but he’s far from it. everyone can see from a mile away that tawan is lying. I cannot believe that kinn can’t. when he said he’ll clear things up with p that gave me hope. he must be acting like he’s falling for tawan’s lies right? this is all part of his plan to catch him. there’s only a few episodes left it wouldn’t make sense if k still didn’t fully trust him. but in that shoot-out scene from the mv p says Im on your side so like? its still not clear? p still has to convince him? vikki I’m genuinely losing my mind over these gays. okay the things I loved: THE MILK!! metaphor of the damn century. out of all the things they could have chosen for this they chose milk.. I love that for them. and kimchay!! after the last ep I was ready for angst but we got a kiss. they are so cute idk what happens to them in the novel but I hope they get a happy ending in this. although I’m sure some shit is about to go down first. and vegas my boy. idk how you feel about him but personally I’m a weak hoe. I see a sexy villain and I simply have to simp for him. I’ve been dying to see some vegaspete and it’s finally happening!! I know about some stuff he does in the novel but I have no idea what they’ll do in the show and it’s just so exciting. will he genuinely like pete or just use him? I’m dying to find out. and he’s so good at playing Porsche. I mean it’s good to watch but p is not falling for it at all. after that pool scene part of me is convinced this is all just an act and he doesn’t give a fuck about p but another part of me is like what if he was just planning on using him against kinn but started to genuinely like him at some point?? I really don’t know. I mean he’s probably just using him but still I like to be a little delulu and imagine things. and the ending?? run away with me Porsche?? I was screaming!!! there’s no way p would go with him but the possibility of p tricking vegas and using him to get out of jail? chefs kiss. so yeah I think I’ve screamed about everything I wanted. I make theories in my head what could happen next episode but I’m always wrong lmao. and I just wanted to say I hope you’re doing better now and everything is well i'm genuinley so thankful that i can come here and talk about kp with you

my kp anon!!!!!

the way we were baited with that pool scene 💀💀 and during the first week of pride month? kp cancelled for being homophobic against me personally actually. the way i was watching the timer tick down the whole episode like "oh boy haha 30 minutes left i wonder when the pool scene will happen. oh boy only 15 minutes now................haha only five more minutes guys..........." im not a clown im the whole circus

i genuinley don't think kinn trusts tawan in the slightest but im a kinn defender at heart. kinn knows that tawan never loved him, he made that clear at the end of episode 8 during that conversation with porsche when he crumpled up his picture. kinn is very much aware of the fact that he was in love with tawan, but tawan used him and played him and was never in love with him. i think it's easy for us to sit here and say that porsche hasn't done anything but we have the benefit of hindsight we know what he was doing when he bugged tawan's room, kinn doesn't. from his perspective it just looks like porsche was spying on him and following him around without permission, and that scene with vegas by the pool probably didn't help either since he thinks the information is being passed along to the minor family of course everything starts to look kinda sus.

there are a few emotions kinn doesn't deal well with, two of the big ones being jealousy and betrayal. it's less about him not trusting porsche (because he does trust him imo, just in his own way. why else would he continiously let himself be alone around porsche, let himself be vulnerable around porsche, if he didn't trust him ykwim?) and more about him not trusting himself and his emotions. he was burned so visciously by tawan and he has genuine trauma from it that i think a lot of people don't want to see, it's not as easy as telling kinn to just get over it now he has porsche, he has a lot of trust issues and when you couple that with his identity crisis his actions start to make a lot more sense.

the "i knew you'd trust me" genuinley broke a little piece of my soul because kinn does trust him!! and porsche has enough faith in him to know that he does!! again it all comes right back to the fact that these two have problems with communicating their emotions - they have sex and they think it solves the majority of their problems but it doesn't.

i swear to god i've rewatched the trailer at least 12 times this week to try and piece all the scenes we haven't got yet together. where does the scene with his uncle and the "you shagged him for this" come in, why are they laughing together at the back of yok's bar, when is kim going to beat the shit out of someone i need answers five episodes is not enough time for all the answers that i need!!!!! and we still have to get that scene of porchay crying when he's looking at his phone kimchay is gonna go up in flames soon i know it is and im not prepared to see him cry

listen bible is SO pretty but i want to spin vegas' jaw right now like im gonna feel bad about bruising all his pretty but im still gonna DO it get a job stay away from porsche. i heard that they toned a lot of the vegaspete arc down from the novel which im obviously happy about because oh boy...... vegaspete novel arc is just not it babes novel vegas im sharpening my knives as we speak

my kp anon my beloved im always here for u to scream at i love getting your asks sm!!! throughout the week when im thinking of my reply im just thinking of the meta i should write out honestly u give me braincells and i

[sagessoftwings]

Hello!! May I request a JJK and Demon Slayer matchup please? Thank you in advance!

•••

Hello! I'm Estelle or Aster. I'm 18 years of age, a psychology student, and my pronouns are : He/They. I'm also Poly-Panromantic Asexual.

I'm an introvert who barely goes out, I usually stay in my room reading manga/manhwa while listening to music. I have social anxiety so I don't do well with a lot of people, especially if it's a crowd of strangers. Though, I have noticed and am quit grateful for, I have very low presence so most of the time, people around me doesn't notice I'm there at all, even if I walk in front of them, they don't notice nor see me at all.

I'm very quiet and awkward at first but once I warm up to someone, I can be pretty loud and shameless. I swear a lot, I tend to hug or have any sort of physical contact with my friends, and I make a lot of sexual and dark jokes.

I'm an indoor person, which means I'm not athletic at all. I enjoy watching sports but I don't enjoy doing them. I do play a lot of board games though, if you count that as a sport.

I'm a night owl who stays up until 3 AM in the morning and I'm usually dancing to K-Pop songs during those hours or coming up with weird ideas or thoughts ( Like those shower thoughts ).

Apart from all that, I am a kind and caring person, friendly too but lately I'm very cautious over making friends because I care too much that it ends up hurting me instead. I commit a lot to friendships and relationships, and I'm usually the therapist friend. I just care a lot and love a lot that I end up bottling up my own problems so that I wouldn't bother anyone. I have self-esteem issues and constant negative thoughts of myself, I cope by making jokes about it though. I do have a short temper and I tend to ghost or push people away when I'm angry. I love playing pranks on people, as well as having deep conversations about fandoms and making theories and such. I like to think I'm a chill person who, when left alone, can be weird ( talking to myself, doing strange dramatic acts, etc. ) Oh, I hate failing, so I work hard to win whenever I can. Be it on games, competitions or school exams, I don't like failing. It doesn't matter if I didn't win first place, as long as I didn't fail. I'm a passionate lover and friend ( though, I tend to call people I love and care for, a bitch, but lovingly 💗 ) Also, I suck at cooking, I'm only good at arts & crafts.

My style is completely androgynous.

My ideal type is someone who's willing to take the time to understand me and to be patient with me. I love a lot and will shower you with affection but I have moments where I need to go into hibernation from socializing so much because it physically and mentally pains me if I force myself to socialize more than I already have. My love language is physical affection, corny/cheesy flirts, and overly affectionate words. I will literally write you a long ass paragraph, declaring my love for you. I'm very supportive, so I want someone to support me too. Free of judgement as well. Also, communication is something I hold very strictly in relationships. If you don't want to communicate with me, we're done. I hate misunderstandings, so please be open with me. I won't rush you but don't hide it from me forever.

Hi hi my love!! I love your name it’s so cool 😪 anywho I hope you like your matchup <33

Warnings: sexual content (aged up), cursing, and fluff

For JJK I ship you with: Yuji Itadori!!

Yuji is the guy for you if you like a chill manga reading sesh

He’ll set his whole place up for the two of you with lofi music on the tv, candles and mood lighting and snacks

He really out did himself with this one bestie, It’s little things he does to try and show you how much he loves you

Yuji is the sweetest, especially when you two first meet and he could tell you were the type not to open up right away so he took the first step to let you know he was rlly interested in you

Yuji loves to just sit around and watch dumb videos with you, he also plays a lot of video games and likes when you sit on his lap and he’ll even teach you how to play if you want

I feel like Megumi would be his room mate and constantly have to tell you two to shut up while you two dance battle to k-pop

Yuji likes to sit on the bathroom floor while you take a shower and you two just have like weird ass conversations

He’ll join though if you want him too, he won’t tell but he secretly hopes you ask him to join you in the shower

He definitely has those crayola washable shower crayons to give you feel detail on why aliens exist and they truly don’t want anything to do with us

Yuji always notices that your perceived as the ‘therapist friend’ so he typically will pull you into his lap and ask you if your genuinely okay and if there’s anything on your mind

He cares so much he just doesn’t wanna see you unhappy

Yuji and you are constantly playing pranks on Megumi and Yuji has considered making you two a YouTube channel

Yuji always makes sure he sends you ‘Good Morning Handsome’ texts if you aren’t spending the night at his place

Yuji specifically bought one of those headlamps so when you two have random late night theories he can pull his ‘Theory Book’ out (which also double as his private diary which has a lot of thoughts about you in it ;) )

Yuji has always, since day one, put so much effort forth to understand every single thing about you he just adores you so much and honestly doesn’t wanna lose you

Yuji is the least judgmental person on earth, I mean this mans fkn farted on Megumi's pillow to really test if it gives people pink eye (it does)

He likes to send you stupid flirty (lokey cringy) vids while he’s not with you and be like “Haha I wanna fuck you so bad ahhh autocorrect I meant good morning-”

Mans pulls up with a notepad and pen and stares into your soul then be like “what pet names you like??”

If he gets drunk he will spam you about what he loves about you

If you get into a disagreement he will try everything in his power to just talk it out with you cause you can’t leave him now… he got you matching build- a-bears :(

Smutty Smut-

SUCH A GIVER, if you even try to give him head before he gets to you mans will tie you up “You always come first… no pun intended”

He makes everything so fun and carefree like yes it can be serious sometimes but he wants to make sure your feeling good and having a good time

LOVES TO KISS YOU THIGHS AND LEGS

He’ll sit between your legs with them thrown over his shoulders and just suck at bite at your pretty legs

His moans are so pretty but he can get kinda embarrassed so please tell him he sounds pretty

Bestie don’t be surprised if Sukuna pitches in too, he might be a million year old curse but god dayum shawty you is a fine one

Yuji has a HUGE stamina so babes your insides will be obliterated so you will need a wheelchair

Yuji likes to give you kisses while his hand uses Sukuna’s mouth for something better than being an asshole

After Yuji has cleaned you up and kissed over all the marks he left behind he’ll always pull you into him and tell you how well you took him

For Kny I ship you with: Genya Shinazugawa

HE IS SO UNDERRATED

Genya loves to stay in with you and will make you baked goods while you chill and read mange

AND HE’S SO CUTE, he’ll come up and cuddle next to you and always ask what’s going on in your manga, he’s so invested in you and your interests I’d die for him

Genya quite literally couldn’t get a word out when you two first met it was his brother that had to say “hey my dumb ass of a brother thinks your really handsome and would like to ask for your number”

MEANWHILE HE JUST GIVES YOU A LIL WAVE FROM ACROSS THE ROOM

Genya can always use a hug and never fails to give that amazing bear hug squeeze

Please teach him to dance, he trips over his own feet

He will however always stay up late with you to dance and he’ll even practice when your not there

You once went over to his and Sanemi’s apartment and saw him doing a lil dance routine in the kitchen while making sandwiches

Like Yuji, Genya will sit on the bathroom counter and talk to you

Genya is so cute, he has a problem with staring at you and just going “You’re so beautiful my dove”

YOU AND HIM PULL PRANKS ON SANEMI CONSTANTLY HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Sanemi has definitely thought about getting a restraining order on the both of you

Genya is the last person in the world to be judgmental towards anyone unless someone deserves it

Genya is like literally the best with communicating his feeling like this mans has the softest spot for you

-Smutty Smut-

He is so freaking gentle with you, his rough callused hands will drag over every point on your body with such a feathered graze and he’ll look up with the FATTEST blush and be like “is this okay?”

But if you want it rough mans won’t hesitate

His aftercare is phenomenon and if you want something cooked he won’t falter to run to the kitchen and slave away

Such a innocent soul but please teach him to kiss, you’re his first and genuinely doesn’t know what he’s doing

Please tell him sweet nothings while he thrusts into you, tell him he’s pretty and such a good boy HE’LL GO FERAL

His biddies are also very sensitive so don't be shy, give em a kiss kiss

He likes to place one hand on your cheek while his forehead rests on yours when he cums

Genya always puts a cold glass of water on your side of the bed when he’s done cleaning you up

He’s so warm so great for after sex cuddles

[usermischief]

♜Pairing: Briles ♜Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Brett Talbot ♜Warnings: - ♜Words: 1396 ♜Dialogue Prompt: “It’s only weird if you make it weird.” (for @raksh-writes) ♜Mini Fic Roulette: 25/∞ | ao3

---

lost in thought

---

Again, Brett is silent for a moment. He opens his mouth, grimaces, and looks at his legs. “Well…”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Talbot.” This guy should know better, he really should. Stiles shakes his head with a huff. “You gotta vet me properly before trusting me with your pack.”

“But it’s you.” Brett quirks a brow, and there’s the ghost of a smile on his lips. “You saved me before. I don’t need to make sure you’re one of the good guys. Besides, I know you.” There’s something odd about the way he says it, something Stiles’ heart latches onto — and he hates it. He’s crushing on Brett more than enough already.

---

Stiles rubs his hands over his face. Fucking hell. Fucking hell. He shouldn’t be freaking out like this, he really shouldn’t. In the past week, he’s shared rooms and sometimes a bed with Lydia, Kira, with whoever pack member’s name he picked out of the little black box. It’s a pack bonding exercise, one the Ito pack needs now that so much has changed. For a week, Stiles managed to luck out and not be paired with Brett. Tonight, the young alpha finally picked his name out of the other eight in that stupid box.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Stiles lets out a breath and locks eyes with his reflection. “It’s only weird if you make it weird,” he whispers as if that somehow fixes the painfully massive crush he has on the guy. This couldn’t have happened yesterday? When there were two beds? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Stiles licks his lips and takes a deep breath. “It’s only weird,” he repeats, narrowing his eyes slightly, “if you make it weird.” He’s gonna make it through the night without any issues at all, and tomorrow, he can spend the day with his grandparents and get some distance to Brett. It probably won’t hurt. After all, they’ve traveled through Europa for a week already, and they still have two more to go. They spend every minute of every day together, which is fine in theory, but Stiles has hit the limits of his social battery a while ago — having to share a bed with his crush is not helping at all.

A knock on the bathroom door startles him. “Stiles, you okay?”

That’s a matter of definition. Stiles takes a breath and pushes away from the sink. “Yeah, yeah… I’m fine.” He glances at his reflection one more time, nodding to himself. This is fine. He can do it. Plastering a grin on his face, Stiles opens the door. “Just lost in thought.”

Brett furrows his brows. “You’ve been lost in thought a lot those past three days.”

“It’s just late,” Stiles replies with a shrug and pushes past Brett, “and I could really use some sleep.” Something that’s so not going to happen tonight; not with Brett sleeping on the same fucking mattress.

Brett clears his throat, following him to the bed. “I know Lori’s been on your ass about our stay in Poland,” he says, looking surprisingly guilty almost as if it’s his fault Lori get a little too excited about planning their trip.

Sighing, Stiles folds his arms over his chest. Lying to Brett has never been something he liked doing, and to be fair, beating around the bush right now feels like shooting himself in the foot. “I’m just… exhausted.” Stiles sits down on the edge of the bed as well, realizing he’ll feel every single one of Brett’s movements. “I need time to recharge from all of that social interaction.”

“Oh.” Brett is silent for a few seconds. His eyes dart across the room, and he presses his lips together. “You want me to leave?”

Stiles opens his mouth. This could be his chance to get out of this night without an awkward awakening. But he can’t. “No.” Stiles shakes his head for emphasis. “It’s fine. I can recharge on the train to my grandparents. Maybe I’ll stay with them tomorrow night and meet up with you for breakfast again.”

Tipping a finger against his leg, Brett studies him for a moment. “I don’t know how to feel about you going alone.”

Stiles chuckles, also a little condescending. The guy trusts him to be his emissary yet believes he’ll get lost taking the train to his grandparents. “You know I’m fluent in Polish, right? And that I’ve taken this train from Warszawa to Łódź at least once every year as long as I can remember?” To be fair, he’s not talking about his roots all that much, but he hopes Brett did his due diligence before choosing his first emissary.

Again, Brett is silent for a moment. He opens his mouth, grimaces, and looks at his legs. “Well…”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Talbot.” This guy should know better, he really should. Stiles shakes his head with a huff. “You gotta vet me properly before trusting me with your pack.”

“But it’s you.” Brett quirks a brow, and there’s the ghost of a smile on his lips. “You saved me before. I don’t need to make sure you’re one of the good guys. Besides, I know you.” There’s something odd about the way he says it, something Stiles’ heart latches onto — and he hates it. He’s crushing on Brett more than enough already.

Stiles gets to his feet, allowing his nervous energy to get the best of him, for now, at least. He needs to get his shit under control soon, or Brett is going to pick up on something he’s not supposed to. “This is how you get yourself killed.”

“You’re doing a fantastic job of hearing me while not actually listening to what I say.”

Stiles makes a dismissive gesture. “I’m listeni—“

Brett grabs his hand and pulls him closer. In fact, Stiles finds himself right between the alpha’s legs, shins all but bumping against the bed. Oh. Brett brushes his thumb over the back of Stiles’ hand. “It’s you,” Brett repeats a little quieter this time. “It’s been you for a while, and don’t get me wrong—“ he’s not looking at him when he talks, instead follows his fingers tracing invisible lines on Stiles’ body “— at first, I only wanted to get in your pants, but now I really just wanna have you in my life.”

A nervous laugh bubbles up, but Stiles manages to bite it back. “You just want to have me in your life?” He shudders at the touch, at the fingers dragging down his chest.

Brett grabs his waist, two fingers slipping under Stiles’ shirt ever so innocently. Their eyes lock and there’s a thing very new on Brett’s features. “You’re taking my words a bit too literal.” His expression softens.

Stiles cups Brett’s neck with both hands and leans down. He can’t help it. Not at all — and judging by the sound Brett makes in the back of his throat when their lips meet, he’s been waiting for this as well. Fuck. He really could’ve had all of this before, huh? At this point, Stiles should probably stop being so awfully insecure about love and sex and being out of somebody’s league. Because he’s clearly not out of Brett; and honestly, if that’s the case, Stiles is very much in everybody else’s league as well. Knowing that does wonders for his confidence already.

Pressing closer, Stiles explores the werewolf’s body with his hands and mouth, letting Brett do the same until they’re both falling apart in a way Stiles never did before.

Humming quietly, Brett runs his fingers down Stiles’ spine. “I’ll bring you to the train station.”

Stiles huffs out a laugh. “My train leaves at six am,” he says instead of reminding Brett that he’s perfectly fine going to his grandparents on his own because he has done it more than enough times, on his own too. It’s not that scary when you speak the language.

“I wouldn’t see you tomorrow otherwise,” Brett mutters, and there’s actually an audible pout in his tone — and audible pout. Brett Talbot is fucking pouting. “Let me at least treat you for breakfast.”

Stiles licks his lips, tilting his head back to look at Brett. “If I agree will you let me sleep?”

Grinning, Brett kisses the corner of his mouth then curls around him like an over-sized puppy. “Maybe.”

It’s hard not to find it endearing. “Fine,” Stiles agrees, shaking his head a little. “Breakfast it is then.” And Stiles would lie if he said he’s not excited about it. Even though he’s exhausted, some people are easy to be around despite being mentally drained. Looks like he’s found another one. Closing his eyes, Stiles shuffles closer to Brett and smiles when the arm around him tightens.

[howdoyousleep3]

Miss K, I really miss Senator Steve and intern Bucky 🥺 can you tell us anything about them?

Let’s check in with them, babyboo.

“What’sa matter with you?”

Bucky barely hears the Senator from his place on the floor at the older man’s feet. He merely looks, tips his chin up, after a few beats of obvious and heavy silence.

“What?”

He has no inkling of an idea on how long he’s been down here, kneeling, hands resting on top of his thighs. He doesn’t even know if his eyes have been open or closed, breaths drawn out and unhurried. He can’t remember the last time he was able to sit in silence, void of the noise of his surroundings as well as in his mind. He doesn’t…doesn’t really know how he feels.

When he refocuses his eyes, Steve is peering down at him, wrinkle between his brows pronounced. Bucky blinks back. The Senator runs a hand down and over his chin, pushes his laptop next to him on the couch, curls his fingers towards himself.

“Bucky. Come here.”

Bucky reacts quickly but moves sluggishly, shuffles the few feet needed to close the distance between the two of them, to settle between Steve’s spread thighs where the older’s finger points. His hands instinctually move for the Senator’s belt buckle, but Steve is quick to grab his hands, to tug gently.

His cheek ends up pressed against the Senator’s thigh, near his hip.

Bucky’s soft noise of confusion is hushed with a quick and no-arguments kind of noise in return, one that Bucky is more than happy to listen to, to comply with. Steve is warm and Bucky likes that. His own hands land in his lap once they’re released, he relaxes his stance. Steve’s fingers start to rub at his skull and—

“Ohh…”

Steve hums knowingly, almost a coo, continues to pet Bucky with a soft, “Mhmm…” that runs down the back of Bucky’s neck comfortingly. The Senator doesn’t say anything, simply runs his fingers through Bucky’s hair, fingertips massaging their way around Bucky’s skull on a rhythmic way, pressure gentle yet firm. It’s sublime. Bucky can’t keep his eyes open, whimpers at one point at how perfect Steve’s touches feel on his body.

“You feelin’ a little stressed, Buck?” Steve asks after a few more minutes, warm hand squeezing the back of Bucky’s neck before going back up to his hair. His voice is hushed, gentle, so different than the authoritative voice Bucky is used to hearing most times. He didn’t realize how badly he needed to be on the receiving end of such a tone. He nods his head.

“Getting to the end of the school year? You’re graduating soon, surely that’s on your mind. Classes a bit tough right now?”

Bucky mewls, turns his cheek and rolls it into the top of Steve’s thigh upon hearing the Senator’s words, the reminders of his stressors returning like a smack to the face. He nods his head. Steve pinches his ear.

“Words, Bucky.”

Bucky is quick to respond.

“Mhmm, y-yeah…yes, Daddy.”

The Senator hums again, digs his thumb into the nape of Bucky’s neck in a move that makes Bucky’s shoulders slump in relief almost immediately with a set of whimpers. Bucky gives up the valiant fight of keeping his eyelids open.

“It’s a tough time of year, baby. Tough time of your life. Leaving the comfort and normalcy of college is both incredible and terrifying. This is one of life’s exciting moments.”

In theory, in the big picture of things, Bucky knows this. He knows that these are thrilling times in his life story, knows he’ll look back on them incredibly fondly, but the light at the end of the tunnel is so hard to focus on when his brain has clouded it over. The now isn’t letting him reach that point, doesn’t let him see his goals or place them in the forefront of his mind.

It’s like Steve knows this. His voice lowers even more as he talks to Bucky, hand stroking over the back of his head.

“You’re alright, Buck,” he whispers and oh, god he hadn’t realized how badly he needed to hear such words. “You’re doing so good. I know my standards are high and being what you are to me, let alone an intern, isn’t easy. I’m so proud of you.”

Bucky’s chest shakes when he lets out a sob, sees the fat tears he sheds with only a moments realization fall down over the inseam of the Senator’s pants. Steve lets out another soft noise.

“S’just really hard,” is all Bucky can manage to get out, voice tight with emotion, sniffling. Even in the state he is in, he doesn’t make any movements, not without permission.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

“I…I just haven’t had time to…to do anything but somehow I’m doing things and…and I just want to sleep and think about myself and—”

“Let’s do that.”

It takes Bucky a few seconds to process what Steve has said. Even then he’s swallowing, asking, “W-what?” He feels fingers under his chin, pulling, tipping. He’s met with sincere eyes, fond and focused ones.

“Let’s take care’a you. Know I’ve got you for a few more hours. Let’s focus on you.”

Bucky thinks he could weep but has quickly forgotten he is indeed crying already. He sniffles, tilts his cheek into the Senator’s palm as he speaks.

“Me? But that’s… but—”

“But nothin’, Bucky,” the Senator interrupts gently, running his thumb along Bucky’s bottom lip. “I know we always do what I wanna do but this is part of this relationship too, you. I wouldn’t be a very good Daddy if I didn’t make sure you were doin’ alright. And if you aren’t, well then we need to do somethin’ about that.”

Bucky mewls once more, lets the Senator’s thumb slip between his lips. That alone feels like something Bucky wants, makes the edges of his mind go fuzzy. He hollows out his cheeks.

“Let’s get you food, fill up your belly. Get some water in you. Maybe you can shower in my bathroom here, get you in some comfier clothes. You seem to want me to keep playin’ with you, your hair and maybe your mouth. What’dya say we do that, huh?”

Bucky flicks his tongue along the length of the Senator’s thumb, a bit of a fire coming to life in his tummy albeit a spark. He is immediately grateful. These moments with Steve have been so few and far between, these much more domestic and soft ones. It’s not like the Senator hasn’t shown Bucky softness, it’s just not at the forefront of their relationship. Bucky nods his head, pulls his mouth back momentarily as he sniffles.

“Yes, Daddy. Please?”

Steve smiles, trails his spit-slick thumb along Bucky’s bottom lip.

“Of course, Buck.”

💕

[bored-mumma]

Sebastian Stan - Fluff Alphabet

MASTERLIST

Bucky Barnes version

A = Attractive. What do they find attractive about the other?

He loves your passion. How even little things in life can get you excited and happy. He also loves your strong will. You two being in the lime light takes a strong personality and you match that perfectly.

B = Baby. Do they want a family? Why/Why not?

He really wants kids. He likes to imagine Sunday mornings, your children waking you up and you all making breakfast before spending the day playing games and just being a close family. Nothing makes him happier than thinking of his future family.

C = Cuddle. How do they cuddle?

No matter how warm the nights get, Sebastian likes to be snuggled entirely under the blankets. Usually one of you will be spooning the other but if its too hot then just either your legs or arms are slightly tangled.

D = Dates. What are dates with them like?

Sebastian doesn’t do ‘little’ dates. He sweeps you off your feet every single time. You’ll come home from work expecting a normal evening at home to find some new fancy clothes and jewellery lying down on your bed, along with a note telling you what time to be ready by. Bang on time, Sebastian knocks on the door (you live together but why not be romantic and come pick you up like he used too) with a bouquet of your favourite flowers. Before driving to a beautiful restaurant, champagne sitting there waiting. All evening he would throw compliments at you, repeating his love. If you felt like it, you two would go for a walk along the sea front or just drive randomly and talk away.

E = Everything. You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

You are my light.

F = Feelings. When did they know they were falling in love?

He couldn’t really give a proper time when he knew he was falling for you. It just kind of happened! He knew he missed you when you were gone, even if you spent all day together. He knew he dreamt of waking up to your face everyday and he knew his heart skipped a beat every time you kissed him. One day he just realised ‘holy shit, i love you’.

H = Holding Hands. How do they like to hold hands?

I = Impression. First impression/s?

You two got along very well. Your personalities just clicked and the two of you became friends fast. It took a few months, but that friendship soon turned into love.

J- Joker. Are they into pulling pranks?

He loves them, a lot more than you did. Barely a day went by that Sebastian didn’t play some sort of joke on you. Usually you find it funny and playful but other days you want to slap his pretty face.

K = Kiss. How do they kiss?

Most of the time Sebastian will hold your chin with his finger and thumb, tilt your head up and kiss you deeply. Although sometimes he’ll be a little more rough and grab your waist, pulling you towards him.

L = Love. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

You do. After a particularly breath taking date and nearly six months together, you finally felt as though you were ready to say those words. When you uttered those words, Sebastian grinned at you before saying it back.

M = Memory. What’s their favourite memory together?

You two were walking home from a lovely date night a restaurant. You both had a few drinks so couldn’t drive and you were struggling to catch a taxi so decided to take a longer walk across the parks. It was a stunning night and half way home, he placed his jacket on the ground and the two of you lied down, watching the stars and resting your feet. Feeling merry anyway from the drinks flowing through you, you lied there for nearly an hour, just joking together and sharing kisses.  Going from the last letter, this was the moment you looked up at each other and said I love you for the first time. 

N = Nickel. Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?

You are so, so spoilt. Literally anything your eyes land on, Sebastian will buy it for you. Even stuff you had never seen or even heard of, if he thinks you’ll like it, he’ll buy it, Date night? He’s got you some new clothes and jewellery for it. Anniversary? You cant see the floor in your home from all the gifts. And birthdays are just insane with the amount of stuff he gets you.

O = Orange. What colour reminds them of their other half?

Sky Blue. A lovely calm, stunning colour that reminds him of summer days. Days he loved to spend with you. He would often buy you some sky blue jewellery, making a matching dress too. 

P = Petnames. What petnames do they use?

You two are cringe as hell and like to think of the most sickening names for each other as possible. Bunny, sugar-plum, precious. Just as cringy as possible to make each other laugh.

Q = Quaint. What is their favourite non-modern thing?

Sebastian's a simple man and loves the simple things. One of those things is a gentle bike ride. On a hot day with the cold breeze cooling him, he loved to just bike through the country and forget about life's trouble for a while.

R = Rainy Day

A busy man leads a busy life. Rain or shine, his days barely change. Although on the rare days you both have a day together with nothing to do and its pouring it down outside, he was known to drag you out in it. Whether to just dance in the back garden or to go for a quick run, Sebastian loved to just be out in the rain for a while with you. It felt like a reset for you both and it was those moments you treasured the most.

S = Sad. How do they cheer themselves/others up?

As most people know, Sebastian talks to his therapist often. You try not to pry too much, knowing if he wants to share his feelings with you, he will. But you can always tell when he’s feeling a bit down. It’s usually cured with a cup of tea, cuddles and you dragging your nails gently across his skin to make him feel relaxed. Sometimes he’ll talk to you about what’s bothering him, other times he just wants to feel your touch.

T = Talking. What do they like to talk about?

You two are low key conspiracy theorists. You will often find you both having deep conversations about a theory you saw online or about a new documentary. Whether it was something like aliens exist all the way to the queen is a lizard, you two would have debated on it. 

U = Unencumbered. What helps them relax?

As said above, he loves to feel your nails dragging across his skin. He felt most relaxed when lying in bed on his stomach, you lying beside him and dragging your nails along his spine. He would get Goosebumps from it and always felt like he could fall asleep right there and then.

V = Vaunt. What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

You and your career! Sebastian was your number one fan and would brag about your acting success every chance he could. Even if he’s doing an interview about his own movie, he’ll still slip in there how proud he is of your new project. He couldn’t help it.

W = Wedding. When, how, where do they propose?

It was your two year anniversary and you two decided to take a week off of work. Nothing special planned, just a week to relax and actually get to enjoy one another's company. Sebastian watched you with admiration as you cooked dinner, watching the way you sung along to the radio and how you refused to let him help, insisting on spoiling him. As you stood at the stove, Sebastian walked to the bedroom and grabbed a little box from his bedside drawers. Going back to the kitchen, he stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, head resting on your shoulder.

“This wasn’t how i planned it,” He said, letting go of your slightly to open the box and show a beautiful ring. “But i couldn't wait any longer. Will you marry me?”

X = Xylophone. What’s their song?

wonderful tonight - Eric Clapton

Y = You. You are the ___ to my ___ (e.g. the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

You are the honey to my bee.

Z = Zebra. If they wanted a pet, what would they get?

Sebastian has always wanted a dog! You two ended up adopting a puppy together.

[the7thcrow]

indulgence | part two

~

pairing: felix x (fem) vampire!reader

summary: an indulgence grows to become dangerous, as the society of hampden college takes note of y/n’s new blood bag.

series masterlist.

word count: 5.8 k

genre: forbidden love. angst, extreme fluff, suggestive.

warnings: blood, suggestive content (sex is discussed but not described), strong language, alcohol and vampires ofc.

rating: 16+

a/n: hi everyone! thank you to anyone who read part one, and liked it enough to continue with part two hehe. the plot really picks up here, and i’m quite excited about it. once again, i love hearing feedback, so don’t be shy in leaving me an ask or message :)

previous chapter.

...

..

.

You were careful. In the beginning, at least. For the first few weeks of carrying your secret, you only met Felix after hours, and only at your home. You’d leave at different times, and you both never spoke a word of what you were doing to anyone.

It was a safe play. A smart one. But as time went on you became sloppy. It started on the day Felix’s roommates would be gone for the entire weekend.

You were both lying in your bed, the rainy Sunday morning having trickled by in a lazy, melancholic fashion. These were your favourite days, the ones in which he’d arrive just before dawn and leave near dusk. 

You’d gotten used to his presence around your apartment, his absence painfully noticeable during the days you found yourself cooped up there alone. You liked when he was there, even when you weren’t talking, lounging on the couch in silence with your feet intertwined as you caught up on your required reading. Or when sometimes he’d cook for you, baking you sweets as you were stressed out over a paper that’s due date was much closer than you’d realized. Him simply being around granted you comfort, a sense of companionship, something you hadn’t felt for a long time.

You couldn’t deny that Felix Lee had nestled himself into your life, and you’d be a liar to say you weren’t enjoying it. Being with him made you love the creature you were, seeing the way your feeding affected him, the way it set the two of you on fire. Forgetting for a moment how restrictive your life truly was, how exhausting and lonely it often happened to be. 

Looking back, perhaps that was the entire problem itself. That wasn’t something you should so easily forget, no matter how tempting it may be.

“Come on,” Felix whined, tracing shapes along the bare of your back with his finger. “They won’t be there all weekend, it won’t be any different then when we’re here.”

He was trying to convince you to come spend the following weekend at his apartment, as his roommates were leaving on a ski trip and wouldn’t be back until Monday morning.

“Well, if it won’t be any different then why should we bother risking it?” You returned. In truth, you really did want to go spend time at his place. It felt like the next step in your relationship, however strange and complicated it may be. You weren’t sure if “relationship” was even the right term for whatever you two were, but you didn’t want to overthink things too much. For now, all you wanted was to enjoy this while it lasted, as deep down you knew it couldn’t be forever. 

“Because,” he mumbled, rolling you over to face him. This wasn’t going to help your willpower, you’d come to find you just couldn’t say no to those dark, curious eyes. “I feel like I’ve really gotten to know you these last few weeks. I mean, I’ve seen your life. Your room, your book and record collections, what you keep stocked in your refrigerator. I guess I just want to share my space with you too.”

You groaned, shifting downwards to bury your face in his chest. “Well that’s not fair. How am I supposed to say no to that?”

“Exactly, you can’t,” he laughed.

“You’re the worst.”

“I know. Sorry.”

You sighed. “Fine. I’ll head over Friday night then.”

“See, I knew you’d come around,” he smiled, his voice light with enthusiasm. However, you couldn’t ignore the weight of anxiousness bubbling in your chest. You looked up at Felix, and you knew that he could see it written on your face.

“Don’t worry,” he said softly, methodically running his fingers through your hair, something he’d learned would help calm you down whenever you were stressed. “I’ll make it worth your time.”

~~~~

Felix did, in fact, make it worth your time. When you arrived at his doorstep the following weekend, you were surprised to find the door unlocked. Carefully, you twisted the knob, peeking inside.

It was safe to say you were surprised.

The apartment was entirely candlelit, the smell of rose scented candles mixing with that of whatever Felix was presently cooking in the kitchen. The table was done up in a way that reminded you of a cheesy Italian restaurant, with a checkered red tablecloth, two glasses for wine, and a rose stationed in the middle.

Felix emerged from the kitchen, a wide, toothy grin on his face. He was wearing an apron, patterned with an alarming amount of cartoon kittens, over what appeared to be a rather expensive suit.

“I feel like I’m underdressed,” you stated, unable to mask the pure awe in your voice. Nobody, not even Chan, had done anything like this for you. Not to mention the fact that you and Felix weren’t even dating… 

Were you? This seemed like an awful lot of effort to put in for someone you were only hooking up with.

“Nah, you look great. Don’t worry about it,” Felix said. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ll take your jacket Mademoiselle.”

You laughed, taking off your overcoat and handing it to him. “That’s French. I thought you were going for Italian,” you joked, attempting to hide the warmth flooding to your cheeks.

“Shhh,” he said, setting your jacket down on the couch before putting his hands on your shoulders. “Just let me have this one. Okay?”

“Okay,” you said quietly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. You felt oddly shy, surrounded by such a scene. 

“Well if you’ll take a seat, I can show you what I’ve been making in the kitchen,” he said, moving towards the table and pulling out the chair. You complied, sitting down and shifting your focus to the wonderful smell wafting in from the kitchen. 

Felix disappeared before appearing with two plates, setting one down in front of you. “Shrimp Scampi,” he clarified. You glanced up at him and you could tell he was slightly nervous. Knowing Felix, he was probably worried you wouldn’t like it.

How someone could possibly not appreciate all of this, was entirely beyond you.

You decided to reassure him. “It looks amazing, Felix. All of this,” you said, gesturing to the room around you. “This is incredible. I can’t believe you did this, it's so… unbelievably sweet.”

“Well,” he said shyly, removing the apron and setting it down on the kitchen counter. “I knew you were worried about coming over here. So, I guess I just wanted to make it the best I could. Less terrifying and more something you’d really enjoy. You know?”

If your cheeks weren’t red before, they certainly were now. It took everything in you not to lean over the table and kiss him right then and there.

He grabbed a bottle of wine from the liquor cabinet behind him, pouring the liquid into your glass. “White wine?” You questioned with a smirk. “I thought you would have gone with red.”

He chuckled, beginning to fill his own. “I thought about it, but it felt a little too cliche. Besides,” he said, corking the bottle and setting it back down on the table. “White goes better with seafood.”

You picked up your glass, taking a small sip. “Pinot grigio?”

He raised his eyebrows, smirking. “A bit of a wine connoisseur, are we?” 

You laughed. “Something like that.” 

Truth be told, you weren’t. Frankly, you’d always much preferred scotch. However, Chan was big on wine. From the two years you’d spent together, you’d managed to pick up a thing or two.

The rest of the dinner passed smoothly. The food was delicious, the wine smooth, the conversation breezy. You’d calmed down from the initial shock of it all, and had settled back into the comfortable atmosphere you and Felix had developed over the past few weeks.

After you’d both finished your meals, he rose to his feet, setting your plates down on the kitchen counter before disappearing around the corner, into the living room. You were wondering if you should follow him, when suddenly classical music started to fill your ears.

You rose to your feet, peering around the corner to see Felix stationed beside a record player. He smiled, before extending a hand out towards you. “Come on, dance with me.”

“You sure are cheesy today, huh?” You laughed, taking his hand anyway. You laid your head against his chest, the two of you swaying gently, a sorry attempt at a Waltz. 

The music from the record filled the room, the notes dancing along with the two of you, a symphony of affection. You quickly recognized the piece as The Four Seasons.

“Vivaldi is my favourite composer,” you mumbled into his chest.

“I know, you told me a while ago,” he spoke quietly.

“Ah,” you said, smiling to yourself over the fact he remembered. “I’m surprised you have a record of him, I know you aren’t the classical type.”

“You’re right, I’m not,” he laughed. “It’s actually one of my roommates.” 

“I see. What are they like?” Even with all the time you’d spent together, you and Felix had never talked about the people in your personal lives. 

“Hmm,” Felix hummed. Although he didn’t say anything, you could tell he was happy that you asked. That you were slowly breaking the barrier you’d put around yourself. 

“Well, Han- that’s whose record this is- he’s... well he’s loud, but I think you’d really like him. He’s studying music theory, wants to be something of a composer himself. He’s a bit messy, but if you harp on him enough he’ll keep his shit clean.” 

“He sounds nice,” you offered kindly. “What about your other one?”

“Ah, yeah. Changbin. His name is Changbin,” Felix said, but you could tell there was something off about his tone.

“What about him?”

“He’s… he’s going through a lot right now. But normally he’s the coolest. He’s also in music theory, so he and Han help eachother out a lot. He’s the type to bring you food when you’ve been working on a paper all day, because he knows you’ve forgotten to eat. Always there for you, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” you said. Talking about Changbin seemed to make Felix nervous, based on the way he wouldn’t meet your eye and the apprehension in his voice. You could bet it had to do with whatever Changbin was going through at the moment, but despite your curiousness you decided to drop it. It wasn’t any of your business.

The two of you swayed in silence for a few moments. There was nothing left to say on the matter.

“You know,” you said suddenly. “You said you wanted to show me your space, but I still haven’t seen your bedroom.”

Felix smirked. “Ah, I guess you haven’t. Why, you impatient for something?”

You laughed, looking up at him. “Get your head out of the gutter, Lix. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Mhm. Yeah, sure you don’t,” he returned, taking your hand and leading you down the hallway to your left. He stopped, turning to open a door that was currently covered in a rather elaborate arrangement of animal stickers. You raised your eyebrows at him.

“Oh right, the stickers,” Felix said, smacking his forehead with his palm. “Han thought it would be funny, but now I can’t get them off.” 

You smiled. Felix was right, you and Han would probably get along. 

The inside of Felix's room was oddly exactly how you had imagined it. Books were stacked neatly on the desk in the corner, ranging from academic texts to various manga. Posters hung on the walls, representing different music artists, some you recognized and others you did not. He had a nintendo switch tossed on his night stand, and plants hanging in the window. The room, while packed, was clean and well in order. An organized sort of chaos.

You laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. You felt the mattress sink slightly as he laid beside you.

“Do you like it?” He whispered.

“I do. It’s very you.”

He hummed in acknowledgment, rolling onto his side to face you. His fingers wandered in the air for a moment, before finding themselves placed against your cheek. Gently he stroked his thumb back and forth along your jawbone. 

You smiled, leaning into his touch, placing your own hand in his hair. “I feel like dessert,” you stated.

Felix’s cheeks warmed. “I made brownies,” he mumbled, his gaze deepening. “But something tells me that’s not what you have in mind.”

~~~

It was not what you had in mind, and you’d gone far beyond merely explaining that to Felix. The two of you were tangled together beneath his sheets, his head resting on your chest. The room was dark, preventing you from seeing the details of his face, only the shadows and the curve of his jaw visible in the moonlight. 

“Felix?” You whispered, wondering if he was awake.

“Mmm?” He mumbled, clearly only half-conscious. 

“You know I can’t give you more than this, right? We’ll always have to sneak around, keep us a secret. It’ll never be easy.”

“I know.”

“And you’re really okay with that?”

He reached for your hand, allowing your fingers to intertwine. “If it means I have you, I’ll manage.” 

A moment of silence passed by, as you were unsure of what to say, but something inside of you stirred. Something deep and warm, coming back to life.

“Y/N?” He asked suddenly, breaking the quiet. 

“Yeah?”

“Do I have you?”

“Of course, Lix,” you smiled, finally allowing your eyes to close, putting your mind to rest. “I’m all yours.”

    ~~~~

The following morning you awoke to the sound of rain pattering against the window, Felix still sleeping soundly against your chest. Carefully, you moved his head to the pillow, sliding out from under him and emerging into the hallway.

The apartment felt eerily quiet. You never found yourself in an unfamiliar place in the mornings, and the urge to evacuate and run back to your apartment was more tempting than you would’ve liked to admit. You wouldn’t, of course. Felix had put in the effort to make you feel comfortable, to feel at home. You would honour that, no matter how slightly terrifying it might be.

You wandered into the kitchen, noticing a container full of brownies set on the counter. You smiled, those were supposed to be eaten yesterday, before, well… 

You opened the package taking a bite of the sweet, before spitting it out in shock.

The apartment door swung open wildly, a boy with brown hair and chubby cheeks storming inside, a thick cast around his wrist. He threw his backpack onto the couch, letting the ski’s he was carrying clatter against the wall.

“Felix, you will not believe how bad the hill was. There was hardly even any snow, and the amount of rocks? It was like they wanted me to break my arm! Believe me, you made the right call opting out, it was not worth the drive-”

The boy stopped, his eyes bulging as he finally realized you were in the room. His silence made you quickly realize that you were only sporting one of Felix’s shirts, and while it covered you fine, it told an obvious tale. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Hi!” He said, his mind finally catching up on the situation. 

Alright, this was it. Clearly you and Felix weren’t a secret anymore, at least not with his roommates. Now you had to decide how you were going to play this out. Your mind was buzzing. You knew this was a bad idea. You knew this was dangerous. You fucked up. It was over for you. You were screwed. 

Attempting to settle your racing mind, you decided to make an effort at being friendly for now. 

“Hi,” you smiled, moving behind the kitchen table to cover your legs. “I’m assuming you’re Han?” 

“Yeah, how’d you know?” He laughed.

“Felix mentioned you were a tad… charismatic.” 

Han chuckled. “Did he now? I’ll have to pay him back for that. I’m sorry, but I didn’t catch your name-”

Felix burst out of the hallway, his hair a disheveled mess and shirt only half buttoned. “Han! You’re back early!” 

He looked at you, and while you wanted to be furious at him, planned to make him regret getting you to come here, the look of guilt in his eyes stopped you before you could even begin. It were as if the words “I’m Sorry” were branded to his forehead, his features solemn with remorse.

“We have to get out of here,” you thought. “We have to talk about this, figure out what the hell to do.”

“Wait, what did you do to your arm?” Felix asked, just noticing the thick cast.

“Ah,” Han said shyly, rubbing the back of his neck with his good arm. “I wiped out. Like I said, the hill was bad. Not enough snow and too much ice. I slid into a rock and, well… Doctor said I have to keep this on for the next 5 weeks, which blows, obviously,” he motioned to the cast, shrugging his shoulder helplessly. 

Before you could get a word in, he continued. “Oh, have you guys eaten yet? Changbin’s just grabbing-”

Felix quickly cut him off. “We were actually just about to go get something to eat.”

Han raised an eyebrow, glancing from Felix, who looked like he just stumbled out of a 2 year coma, to yourself, who was certainly in no position to walk out the door.  “You were?”

“Yeah!” You exclaimed, perhaps a little too loudly. “I’m just going to, uh, get changed, and then we’ll be out of your hair,” you said, rushing past them and into Felix’s bedroom.

You shut the door behind you, leaning up against the frame before taking a deep breath. Okay, you could do this. You’d make a quick exit, then you and Felix could sort out what to do next. Maybe he could tell them you were just a hookup. But would that look too suspicious? Did they notice he’d been sneaking out almost every night? If they did that would only cause more problems. 

God, this was a fucking mess. You shouldn’t have come, you shouldn’t have come, you shouldn't have come- 

“Y/N?” Felix called, knocking on the door. “Are you almost ready?”

“Y-yeah!” You called back, cringing at the waver in your voice. You had to get yourself together. You threw on your jeans from the following day, tucking in Felix’s button up and bounded towards the door.

“Alright, I’m ready,” you said, bouncing back into the living room. However, you were surprised to be greeted by someone new. The boy was standing beside Felix and Han, whispering in a rushed, as well as undeniably angry tone. 

More surprising yet, and perhaps unsettling as well, he was glaring at you. No, glaring wasn’t the right word. His eyes screamed bloody murder, his jaw locked, entire body was rigid with a stiffness only produced by vile distaste. It was that look of hatred, that familiar spiteful glaze, which immediately made you recognize him.

“I’ve seen you at the library before,” you stated, taking note of how his eyes widened slightly at the sound of your voice.

The boy cleared his throat. “I don’t think so,” he stated, which was an obvious lie. He’d visited the library several times during the dead of the night, always with that same angry, loathsome stare. You’d always found it unsettling, and always left soon after he arrived, even if you still had work to do.

“Yes, you-” you began, but Felix quickly cut you off. 

“Sorry, Changbin. We were just leaving, I’ll catch you guys later.” He said, taking your arm and quickly ushering you out the entry. You saw Han attempt to call out in protest, but Felix quickly shut the door behind him, blocking whatever it was he had to say.

You turned to Felix. “What the hell was that?”

“What, I figured you’d want to get out of there?” He shrugged, not meeting your eye as he walked ahead of you, making his way down the complex stairs. 

You scowled, chasing after him. “Not that, why was Changbin - or whatever his name is - staring at me like that?”

“That’s just the way Changbin has been lately,” Felix said, although you couldn’t shake the feeling there was something more to it. Pulling your arm away, you pushed passed him. If Felix was going to be so frustrating, there was no way you were going to be the one trailing him like a puppy.

“Well, I know for a fact he’s seen me at the library, so why would he lie about that?” You continued, opening the main doors and storming onto the street. 

Felix jogged after you. “I don’t know?” He shot back, his voice sharp. “Maybe he just forgot?”

You scoffed, turning a corner onto the main walking path, heading off campus and towards your own apartment. You needed to sort this out, and the last thing you needed was to cause a scene in the middle of a busy street.

“Whatever,” you grumbled, still keeping yourself a few steps ahead. “We’ll figure it out when we get back to my place.”

“It’s the middle of the day, I thought that was against your precious rules,” he sniped. You knew he was just angry, blowing off steam, but the jab hurt. He was fully aware that you hated the way things were, the way things had to be. It was a low blow, and it only made your annoyance spike. 

“Fine, Lix. You don’t have to come, go back home so you don’t have to be a burden to my ‘precious rules.’”

“Shit, no. Wait, Y/N!” He babbled, running to put himself in front of you. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for, I didn’t mean that. Please, let’s figure this out. I want to, seriously.”

You stared at him for a moment, before walking past him, a sigh trailing from your lips. “Fine, come on.”

He let out a relieved breath before catching up, placing himself at your side. 

“We need to determine what the hell we’re going to tell your roommates,” you start. “Because as of now, we’ve gotten ourselves into a load of shit-”

You didn’t see the man in front of you as you collided into his chest, falling to the ground, rubbing your nose from the immediate shock of pain. 

“Woah, I’m sorry! I didn’t see you there,” the voice said, and your entire body froze. You knew that voice. You knew that voice well. It was a voice you hadn’t heard in months, the voice of the worst possible person you could stumble into at the moment.

“Hold on, Y/N?” Chan asked. You looked up to meet his gaze, petrified by the familiar look of pain in his eyes. The same hurt from the last time you saw him, or in better terms, left him.

“Hey, Chan,” you replied, your voice coming out more shaky than you wanted it to. Chan extended a hand, lifting you to your feet. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah,” he laughed quietly, scratching the back of his neck. “It sure has.”

Then, to your complete and utter despair, his gaze shifted to Felix. It was alarming, how quickly his gaze hardened, the way any sense of past affection drifted from his eyes. “Who’s this?” He asked, his voice cold. 

“That’s Felix. He’s uh, from class, we got assigned for a partner project. We have to explain how without divine intervention, the events in The Iliad may have transpired differently,” you said. If you were going to lie, you had to at least try to make it sound believable. 

“Ah, I see,” Chan said, an edge to his voice. “Where are you guys heading?”

“Just a cafe,” you replied, keeping your voice level.

“Off campus?” He asked, his eyes narrowing, you felt your heart leap into your throat.

“Yeah,” Felix answered without missing a beat. “Figured it would be less busy, you know?”

“Hm,” Chan said, before giving the boy a smile. To Felix, it probably seemed nice, but you knew Chan. Which meant you also knew there wasn’t an ounce of genuine kindness in that expression. 

“Alright, well I’ll let you guys get to it then,” he shook Felix’s hand, his grip slightly too firm. “It was nice meeting you.”

He took a step to make his exit, and for a moment you thought you’d gotten away with it. You thought that somehow, you’d manage to evade this inevitable disaster. Foolish.

Chan stopped beside you, putting a hand on your shoulder. Turning to Felix, he smiled, his eyes glinting. “And hey, you might want to fix your collar.”

Felix’s eyebrows furrowed, a confused expression on his face as he adjusted the collar of his button-up. That’s when you noticed it. The bite marks just peeked out, visibly fresh from the following night.

Chan leaned in, his breath warm against your neck, lips brushing your ear. Your body froze, heart stopping at his words.

“You’ve got his scent all over you.”

~~~~

You and Felix spent the next few hours deciding your best course of action. In a matter of a day, your entire arrangement had been flipped on its head.

The first issue revolved around Felix’s roommates, the biggest worry being what exactly he was going to tell them. After much thought, as well as a bit of arguing, you decided to have Felix say that the two of you were casually seeing each other. This way, they shouldn’t get suspicious that there was more going on, but they also wouldn’t expect to necessarily see you around their apartment either.

There was still risk in it - of course, there always was - as there was the remaining fear that one of them might mention the two of you to the wrong person, and you’d be doomed. As much as having this as a risk pained you, there wasn’t much you could do about it, at least for the moment. For now, you had to trust that if Felix told them to keep it a secret, they would.

This was difficult, as you truthfully didn’t have faith in either of them. Han seemed nice, of course. But it was clear he liked to talk, and it wouldn’t be shocking if something managed to slip from his lips. 

Changbin... Well, he seemed to hate you, for whatever reason that might be. You tried to talk to Felix about this, but he simply brushed it off, blaming it on whatever Changbin happened to be going through at the moment. Begrudgingly, you decided to drop it, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t store the worry in the back of your mind. Keep a watchful eye out.

The bigger problem was Chan. He knew. He knew everything. The feeding, the fucking. That Felix was something more than just an acquaintance. He could single-handedly unravel your relationship, all it would take was a quick chat with The Council, and you would be ruined. There would be nothing you could do to stop them. You didn’t know what The Council would do to you, but you knew at the very least they would force you to end your arrangement with Felix.

You wanted to believe that Chan wouldn’t do that. You really did, but you knew that might not be the case. If he saw telling The Council as a way of protecting you, to keep you away from humans that could be out to hurt you, or use you, there was no doubt in your mind that that’s exactly what he would do.

For now, all you could do was wait, and keep as low of a profile as you possibly could at the moment. It was for this purpose that you said the following words:

“I think we need to distance ourselves from each other, for at least a little while,” you said to Felix. He currently was sitting on your couch, elbows resting on his knees, head buried in his hands.

Slowly, he glanced up at you. He looked tired. “Do we have to?” He asked, his voice flooded with defeat. The last few hours hadn't been easy. There were sacrifices to make, ones that neither of you wanted to adhere to. But this was not as simple as what you did and didn’t want.

“Yeah,” you sighed, dropping down on the couch beside him, resting your head on his shoulder. “We have to. I think we could have dealt with your roommates, but Chan is a far bigger issue.”

Felix frowned, and you knew exactly how he felt.

 This sucked. 

Over the past month, you’d really come to like Felix. You genuinely enjoyed his company, his cooking, his sense of humour. The way he brightened up a room. Most of all, he made you feel less alone. Together you were a part of something. A relationship of sorts. You mattered. And while you would do what you could to make sure this farewell wasn’t forever, in the end it was still a goodbye.

And goodbye’s were always hard, no matter what lay behind them.

“Alright,” he murmured, taking your hand in his, gently brushing his thumb against your knuckles. “When should I expect to hear from you again?”

“I’ll give you a call by the end of the week. I might try talking to Chan, just to see where he’s at with all this. Try to make him understand before he decides to throw me under the bus.”

Felix hums in response, before twisting his neck so that his chin rests on top of your head. “I’m going to miss you,” he states simply. 

You smile sadly, planting a soft kiss at the nape of his neck. “I’ll miss you too,” you say, “but this will only be temporary. I’ll make sure of it.”

~~~~

You didn’t get the chance to talk to Chan, as not even a full day after Felix left your apartment, a letter slid under your door. Carefully, you arose from your spot on your couch, setting your laptop down on the coffee table. You approached the envelope slowly, as if you were to move too fast, it might combust.

You picked up the letter, turning it over to reveal the seal. Your heart sunk in your chest.

There it was. The red wax seal. The letter was from The Society. 

Fuck.

You frantically ripped off the seal, releasing the note inside with shaky hands.

Dear Ms. L/N,

We have recently been informed that you have been participating in actions that violate the terms of our Society agreement. This information has been provided to us by a source of whom wishes to remain anonymous for the time being.

However, these claims remain a serious issue. We would like to give you the chance to explain yourself, as well as clear up what may be a possible misunderstanding or simply a false accusation. If these actions happen to be true, then we will deal with matters accordingly.

You are called to attend this meeting at 1:00pm tomorrow, at the councilroom of our head district.

We appreciate your compliance. 

Our regards,

The Council.

~~~~

It’s almost funny, looking back on how hopeful you’d been. That despite everything working against you, you’d somehow thought you could best them. Somehow thought that you were more powerful than the unbeatable. More powerful than The Council.

That’s where you found yourself now, seated before the three all-powerful vampires, surrounded by endless more. You thought you’d be more terrified, more horrified of what they might choose to do to you. 

But you aren’t. You’re tired of this. Tired of it all. So let them do whatever they wanted, you would take it. You didn’t regret any of what you did.

Not a damn thing. 

“Ms. L/N,” the head councilmen repeats, voice dead of emotion. “Do you know why you’re here today?”

Of course you do. He knows damn well that you know exactly why you’re here, you can see it in the smirk playing at the corner of his lips.The question is mockery. 

So you say nothing. 

“Cooperation will make this much easier, Ms. L/N,” another member of The Council speaks from beside him. She looks far younger than he is, although they are probably around the same age. Which is to say, hundreds of years old.

As your silence continues, the head councilman sighs, rubbing the space between his eyes in frustration. “Fine. Let me explain, shall I? We have reason to suspect you’ve been… coercing with a human boy. Felix Lee.”

Your heart jumps slightly. They know his name? You weren’t expecting that, but then again this was The Council. Digging up identities was the least they were capable of.

“Is this true, Ms. L/N?”

You stare at the councilman. There’s no point in lying. He knows. This meeting was not to defend your innocence, but to determine your punishment. You can see it in his eyes. Those hollow, sunken eyes, that seem farther from humanity than you could’ve dreamed possible.

“Yes,” you state. Your eyes drift to the corner of the room, landing on Chan, who’s gaze remains firm. You want to slap him. Or yell at him. Maybe both. 

“Hm, well at least you’re honest,” the councilman murmurs, a light buzz of laughter vibrating throughout the room. This is funny to them, a joke. Irritation itches under your skin, you don’t quite see the humour here.

“Well,” the councilmen starts, a glint in his eye. “In order to reward your honesty, I suppose we won’t punish you.”

You blink. “What?” You say, your voice coming out a croak. You glance at Chan again, who looks equally confused. His eyes are wide, chest heaving as his breathing rate increases. No, he’s not confused, he’s alarmed.

Something is wrong. You glance back at the councilman, and there it is again, that glint of something awful in his eyes. Something evil.

“You heard me correctly, Ms. L/N. We will not punish you,” the last word drips from his tongue, and you come to understand the weight of his words.

“Fuck. No. No, no, no,” you can hardly hear yourself think over the ringing in your ears, your thoughts a jumbled mess of panic and pure terror.

The councilmen clears his throat, a grin spreading across his lips, fangs almost shining in the dim light of the councilroom. 

“No, Felix Lee will be the one to pay this price. Kill him, and the damage you’ve caused will be forgiven.”

~~

next chapter.

[radiantmists]

Title: and you give yourself away

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Pairing: Jon/Martin

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 4414

Jon is not an idiot. Contrary to what some of the people who love him might believe, he’s not even entirely oblivious to social cues, though he’ll admit they elude him perhaps more often than is standard.

All of this to say that in the week following their escape from the Lonely, as Martin graduates from shy smiling glances and tentative clutching of clammy hands to full-bellied laughter and warm, steady embraces, Jon is fully capable of figuring out where things are going. And, yes, the idea makes him uneasy when he faces it head on, but if there's something more he can do to feed the way Martin is unfolding, blossoming into the man he'd been before— except more sure of himself, somehow, steadier—

Well, there isn't much Jon wouldn't attempt for that, given the option. This is something small, something he's not even actually opposed to, just... less than completely sure of.

So when they’re sitting on the couch together, giggling over some charming thing the grocer had said to Martin, and Jon looks up to find Martin’s blue-green-grey eyes mere inches from his own, a breath caught in each of their throats, he's prepared for what Martin is going to say before the first sound emerges.

“Jon,” he whispers, “can I k—”

“Yes,” he blurts before Martin can finish.

Too loud and too abrupt; they both rear back with the force of it, and for a moment Jon feels like an utter idiot before he notices Martin giggling softly.

“Not eager at all, are you?” he teases, and now Jon hesitates.

The thing is—he’s not oblivious, which means he’s been thinking about it. He’d known how Martin felt since just after he woke up and listened to that awful tape with Elias; perhaps he’d figured it out even before that, somewhere between the fifth cup of perfectly-brewed, perfectly-timed tea in as many days and the third scrambled phone call from an ocean away, picked up on the second ring despite the forgotten time-zones.

But there had been so much going on, at first, that Jon had never had the chance to really think about it. And then after he’d woken, when he’d really had the chance to consider what he and Martin were to each other, it had always been in a sort of abstract sense—I need him to be okay, I need to trust him and I do trust him, and in the most maudlin moments of hopeful fantasy, I want him to still want me.

Only now, when they’d found that against all odds they were okay, and they did trust each other, and even begun to signal that they wanted each other, had Jon begun to consider what exactly ‘wanting’ might look like for Martin.

“I—wait,” he begins, the word tasting bitter. He knows Martin won’t be unkind about this, but that isn’t necessarily the same as understanding. Jon still has to say it. “You can kiss me, but only if you won’t be offended if I don’t like it.”

Martin sits up shock-straight, eyes going wide as he looks at Jon. “I’m not going to do it if you’re not going to like it! If you didn’t want to, why didn’t you just say no?”

Jon sighs, irritated. That hadn’t come out right.

“I didn’t say no because I do want you to kiss me,” he says, trying to be patient. “I mean, if you want to—”

“Of course I want to, Jon, but that doesn’t mean you have to say yes!” Martin replies, frustrated, gesturing sharply with his hands. Jon blinks, leaning back slightly, and Martin sighs, arms coming down and his tone going softer, smaller. “It’s not—this isn’t something you need to give me, Jon. I know you love me. It’s okay to have boundaries.”

Jon hadn’t had to come out to Martin, because the archival gossip chain had done it for him. But he supposes there was enough ambiguity in the terms that it’s worth having the conversation anyway.

“Asexual people can and do kiss, you know,” he says. “Some even have and enjoy sex, although I have to be clear that that will not be happening.”

“I—I know that,” Martin says, going red and avoiding Jon’s eyes. “And I know you can kiss, I wouldn’t have asked otherwise, but—you said you wouldn’t like it.”

Jon wrinkles his nose with a sigh. A whole week of turning this over, of deciding how he wanted to address this possibility and even rehearsing what he needed to say, and he’s still made a mess of it.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t like it,” he says slowly. “I asked you to be prepared for the possibility that I might not, because I don’t actually know. I want to try, but only if you’re okay with this maybe being the only one you get.”

There’s a long moment of silence.

“Jon,” Martin says slowly. “Have you not—would that have been your first kiss?”

Jon has to bite his tongue on the first, defensively scathing reply, and nods instead.

“But—”

Martin stops, hesitant, and Jon waves permission for him to continue with a sigh. Maybe the next question is going to be indelicate or ignorant, but better to address it than to leave him wondering.

“I mean, I know you’ve been in relationships before,” Martin explains carefully. “I—I’m not as surprised that you haven’t done it, there’s nothing wrong with that, I’m just confused because it seems like if it was something you wanted, you could have?”

Turning that one over in his mind, Jon nods slowly.

“I suppose you’re right,” he allows. “I guess it isn’t something I want in the traditional sense. I don’t look at someone—even someone I love—and want to kiss them, any more than I look at them and want to have sex. But sex at least makes sense,” he grouses. “As… off-putting as I find the idea on a personal level, it’s necessary in an evolutionary sense and obviously it involves biological processes that are designed to be enjoyable. I get why people do it, and those reasons don’t appeal to me.”

At this point, Martin is brick red, but he nods in acknowledgement. “And… kissing is different?”

“Yes!” Jon’s maybe a little excited to get to talk about this. Sue him, he’s been thinking about it enough. “It’s not as awful as sex seems, but it also serves no functional purpose, and yet the whole world is utterly convinced that it’s absolutely wonderful, and I don’t understand it. Another person’s mouth does not seem like an appealing thing to have in your mouth. But then again, objectively neither do pen caps, and you’ve seen me with those.”

Martin snickers. “Apparently they’re irresistible.”

“Yes, well,” Jon says, flapping a hand. He’d made the joke, but somehow he still feels a prickle of embarrassment, so he moves on quickly. “The point is, there’s nothing inherently appealing or especially off-putting about it, in theory. But I’ve never had an especially good reason to try, and none of the people I’ve dated really liked it, so I’ve never bothered. That doesn’t mean I’m not… curious.”

His first two partners had also been ace; Georgie wasn’t, but simply ‘wasn’t a fan’ of kissing, though she’d never been able to explain why, any more than Jon could articulate why the idea of anyone touching him sexually made his stomach flip even though he saw nothing inherently wrong with the act. It didn’t matter why, really; as Martin had said, boundaries are important. But it meant he’d stayed curious.

There was a little more to it, of course. His first boyfriend had asked Jon if he wanted to try kissing once, casually, since he’d never done it before. Jon had declined. Perhaps he hadn’t been quite as secure in his sexuality then, perhaps he did actually feel more of a need to at least try for Martin, who genuinely wanted this. Jon likes to think, though, that his desire to try simply speaks to how comfortable this whole relationship has felt, how safe. There was no reason that kissing had to be any different from that pastry recipe they’d done together the other day, the one they’d thrown out after three bites each with little more than a regretful shrug.

“I… that makes sense,” Martin says finally, and Jon sits up.

“You still want to, then?” he asks.

Martin blinks, an uncertain smile spreading on his face. “You are excited.”

“I’ve been thinking about it!” Jon says defensively, and Martin gives a shocked laugh-gasp. “I mean—I thought you might want to, which meant I had to decide whether I wanted to try, and so now I just… I’ve just ruined the mood, I suppose,” he finishes, deflating.

Martin’s smile doesn’t grow, but it stops twitching and tucks in at the corners like it’s decided that it’s there to stay. “I wouldn’t say that. Unless you’d rather not, of course.”

“No, I’m fine,” Jon replies. “Let’s try it.”

He studies Martin’s face, leaning forward slightly. Jon has considered the mechanics of this before, of course, and he’s seen it in movies, but there’s a difference between knowing how to do something theoretically and having experience, so he’s hoping Martin will take the lead, as it were…

With a frustrated noise, Martin pulls back.

“What?” Jon asks, blinking. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I—I guess I’m just nervous now!” Martin replies, running a hand through his hair. “I mean, I brushed my teeth this morning, but that was hours ago, what if my mouth tastes weird?”

Jon frowns. “Is that usually a problem?”

“Not—really? Not unless you’ve just woken up, or eaten something really strong…”

Would Martin’s mouth even taste that different from his? They’d eaten the same things today, after all, and used the same toothpaste. The memory of the bathroom with their toothbrushes sitting in the same cup, of sitting across from each other over a lunch they’d made with crisp sunlight streaming through the window, makes Jon grin a little even as Martin barrels on.

“Or—I thought, something chaste at least to start, but lots of people like deeper kisses way better, and really I’m not exactly talented, or even all that experienced! What if I put you off kissing forever, but you actually just don’t like kissing me?”

He looks down at his hands as soon as he’s finished; Jon reaches out slowly to take one in his own, contemplating this.

“If I don’t like kissing you,” he says finally, carefully, “then that’s all I need to know, isn’t it?”

Martin makes a cut-off sound that Jon can’t identify, and when he chances a glance at Martin’s face, his eyes are wide.

“I’m never going to want to kiss someone else,” Jon points out. “Best case scenario, you show me a fun new activity we can do together. If we… bump teeth or something, some good reason it’s an abnormally bad kiss, we can try again. And worst case—well, you don’t get to kiss anyone, I suppose, but—”

“It’s not like it’s something I need,” Martin interrupts, but he’s squeezing Jon’s hand. “Yeah, okay, I see your point.”

“There’s no pressure to be perfect from my end,” Jon agrees, but now he can feel himself hesitating. “But—there’s a good chance that I won’t like it, and it won’t be your fault, but if you’d rather not try at all, I won’t be upset.”

“Jon, I can promise you you’re not pressuring me into this,” Martin smiles.

Jon bites his lip. “I don’t want to do it if it’s going to upset you, or make you feel like you’re… inadequate.”

Martin sighs.

“Jon, I feel inadequate all the time,” he says frankly. “As long as you don’t—I don’t know, dump me over it? Make fun of me?—it’s not going to make a noticeable difference.”

“I think that’s worse,” Jon replies, and Martin winces. Jon wonders how much he’s already contributed to Martin’s feelings of inadequacy and decides it’s definitely worse.

“Well— I can promise I won’t be upset with you if you don’t like it,” Martin says finally. “But I think at this point we’re in utter agreement that we don’t have to, so maybe we can just—table this discussion?”

Jon sighs and shifts to rest his head against Martin’s shoulder instead. “Yeah, okay.”

Martin’s soft laughter rumbles in his chest and through Jon’s cheek into his skull. “Wow, you sound more disappointed than I am.”

“I was a bit excited to try,” Jon admits, running his thumb over the back of Martin’s hand in his own. “I’ve been curious about this for decades, Martin.”

“…yeah, that tracks.”

His tone is fond, but Jon still shifts uncomfortably, trying to make himself smaller.

“That’s me,” he says quietly. “Can’t leave any question unasked.”

Martin sighs. “Jon, you know that’s not what I meant.”

Jon does know. He does, except--

“You don’t mean it until it’s what makes me do something idiotic,” he blurts, sitting up. “It’s all just me, Martin, and—”

“Okay, being curious doesn’t require you to be ridiculously self-sacrificing!” Martin argues, letting go of Jon’s hands to gesture in frustration.

“Well, fine,” Jon bites back, crossing his arms. “I’m curious and an idiot. Happy?”

 “No!” Martin snaps. “There’s a difference between being stupid, which you aren’t, and being so convinced that your own safety doesn’t matter that you’ll knowingly throw yourself into danger, or, or let someone maim you for a story!”

Jon opens his mouth. Closes it. Martin is studying him, the tension slowly leeching out of his posture and leaving him just looking tired.

“I… I needed to know those things,” Jon says weakly.

“Most of them, yeah,” Martin agrees. “But—Jon, when you need something, when you’re curious, why is you getting hurt the first option? When did that happen?”

When had it happened?

Long before he’d entered the Lonely, the possibility of his death not even registering if it gave him a chance to retrieve Martin. Surely before Jared, when he’d traded an extra rib for a statement with hardly a moment’s hesitation. One rib for the statement, one for Daisy, as though they were remotely equal, and the obscenity of it had occurred to Jon only later. He’d been glad, in a sick way, that it hadn’t worked.

He hadn’t known exactly what would happen, with Melanie, but he hadn’t exactly been surprised to look up from the bullet to see her swinging at him with murder in her eyes. It had been worth it, though, even if she’d hated him afterward.

Jon had expected to die in the Unknowing, deep down. He’d accepted that the circus would kill him at some point during that interminable month with Nikola, though he hadn’t realized it until he’d been accepting Michael’s offer of a cleaner death—a trade in itself, he supposed, his life for an end when he’d had nothing else to bargain with. He’d spent the next few months increasingly exhausted, until putting himself on Trevor and Julia’s shitlist in exchange for some real answers from Gerry had hardly even been difficult.

Did Martin even know about any of those? He hasn’t seen Jon’s rib, hasn’t asked about the new scar on Jon’s shoulder or, in the whirlwind surrounding their departure, what exactly two hunters were doing at the Institute. He must have listened to some of the tapes, in those months that Jon can’t quite remember, but had the one recording Michael’s statement ever made its way to the Institute, or has Jon just automatically included it in the perfectly-accessible archive in his head?

Martin might be thinking about the Unknowing, or perhaps about Jon’s hand, which he’d patiently helped re-wrap on the day Jon had returned to the Institute, when the wound had practically ripped itself open with the strain of holding a shovel and digging.

Maybe he’s thinking about less concrete hurts, the way Jon had thrown himself into the idea of being useful if he couldn’t be human. About how Jon couldn’t give his life anymore, how he’d traded his human death to Oliver in exchange for waking up.

Or maybe it had been earlier, in a moment Martin will remember: that first, frantic rush of Prentiss’ attack, when Jon had grabbed for the tape recorder on the desk through a sea of writhing white flesh without even considering whether there might be a second.

Whatever Martin is thinking about, he must see on Jon’s face that he doesn’t have an answer, that the list is so long and so old that he can’t even begin.

“That isn’t okay, Jon,” he says softly.

“You did it,” Jon finds himself replying, defensive. “With Peter, you knew he was dangerous—”

Martin sighs, cutting him off even though the sound is almost silent. “Yes, I did, Jon, after you’d been in a coma for three months, and Tim and Sasha were dead, and the Institute had been attacked again, and my mother had just died. Do you really think that was a healthy decision?”

No. No, it had been terrifying, listening to the tape they’d found in the Panopticon and hearing Martin’s recorded voice call it a good way to get killed. Even with him bustling around packing in the other room, perfectly safe, Jon had felt the terror rise up cold and choking in his throat.

“You’re not a tool, Jon, and you’re worth more than a statement or a convenient solution to a problem,” Martin says. “It terrifies me that you don’t seem to get that.”

“It—I can see why it would,” Jon allows, throat tight. “But what I am now, whatever it is that Peter thinks Magnus ‘got’ out of their bet—”

“That isn’t your fault, Jon—”

“I hurt people to live, Martin,” Jon replies, exhausted. “Don’t I owe those people—and the people I’ve gotten killed—whatever good I can do, even if it might not be… comfortable?”

Martin leans back, his eyes closed. He looks hurt, and Jon feels abruptly and deeply ashamed of himself. After everything he’s gone through, with everything he’s still struggling with, Martin shouldn’t have to deal with Jon’s baggage as well.

He’s searching for the words to make this go away, to assure Martin that he’ll think about it and that he’s not planning to throw himself into danger any time soon, that he’s happy to stay up here and leave it all behind for as long as it’s safe or until Martin wants to go, when Martin speaks.

“What do I owe you, then?”

Jon blinks. “What?”

“For making you come after me,” Martin explains. “My plan didn’t accomplish much except for giving Magnus something he wanted, after all.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Jon argues. “I—it was my choice to go in, I—”

“It was Tim’s choice to go into the Unknowing,” Martin replies. “And Daisy’s for that matter. They didn’t do it for you, or even really because of you.”

Tim wouldn’t have chosen to go in if Jon hadn’t utterly ruined his life; neither he nor Sasha would have died if Jon hadn’t asked them to be his assistants in the first place. And even in the Unknowing itself, if Jon had just been able to see through it back then the way Elias—Jonah—had predicted he should, the way he’d almost easily found his way out of the Lonely, they could all have gotten out just fine.

Martin glares at him, apparently reading the justifications on his face. “They chose, Jon, with their eyes wide open. Don’t tell me otherwise, because I won’t believe you.”

“Even ignoring that,” Jon says, though the words are bitter, “it’s not—we’re not alike. You hadn’t hurt anyone—”

“I’ve been thinking about that one, actually,” Martin says, and his tone has gained the distant, thoughtful tinge he’d always had in his lonely office on the topmost floor of the Institute. Jon reaches for his hand, worried, and Martin doesn’t move away, but doesn’t close his own fingers, either. “I was enough of an avatar to convince Peter, wasn’t I? He must have been able to feel the Lonely on me, even if some of it was lies. That power had to come from somewhere. From someone, someone afraid.”

“He had control over the whole Institute,” Jon points out. “Maybe the low-level loneliness just sort of… carried over?”

But Martin shakes his head. “Maybe a little,” he says, “but I don’t think so.”

“Why?” Jon demands, frustrated. “There was no one who came in and made a bloody statement about you ruining their lives. Who did you hurt?”

“You, I think,” Martin answers, looking down at their hands. “Most of the Institute, they were afraid of the policy changes that Peter was making, or that he’d fire them or their friends—well, disappear them, but they mostly didn’t know that. And at first I think you were worried about what he’d do to me, too, but…”

“You kept making me leave,” Jon realizes, the words coming out almost before he understands them. “I started to worry that you’d chosen the Lonely, started to be afraid of more than just Peter realizing you were conning him, that you’d decide you really were better off without me.”

Martin stares at him, hands still limp in Jon’s. “That was… God, I’m right, aren’t I? You just Knew it.”

Jon had.

“It—it doesn’t matter,” he insists, squeezing at Martin’s hands almost desperately. “You didn’t even know you were doing it, it—”

“I knew I was signing myself over to an evil fear god, which is more than you did, going in,” Martin objects. “I knew Peter was evil, I knew you weren’t doing well—”

“It wasn’t your job to manage my emotional state, Martin—”

“Well, I’d have liked not to make it worse!” he snaps back. “God, talk about poor self-worth, you saved me after I practically left you to die over Peter Lukas’ theories—”

“About the literal apocalypse,” Jon points out. “It isn’t like I’ll be doing better if the Extinction really does emerge.”

Martin snorts dismissively. “His solution was to take over the world instead and kill the whole Institute in the process, that wouldn’t have been better either. And I might not have known that, but I did figure his plan was to use me for a ritual, and I still played along.”

“Because he’d have thrown you into the Lonely as soon as he realized you’d turned on him,” Jon replies.

“Which he did anyway. I’d have had to stop listening to him at some point.”

“Well, we did find out about the Panopticon, and Magnus,” Jon argues. “And you didn’t know if there was something even bigger he was leading up to, something we could use. You were doing the best you could, Martin, it’s only hindsight that makes the other options seem so much more obvious.”

Martin is blinking at him, gaze steady. Jon looks back. Thinks over his last few words. Makes a frustrated noise.

“It’s really not—”

“You’re genuinely so smart,” Martin interrupts, in a tone of wonder, “and yet so unbelievably stubborn. Yes, Jon, it is the same! You made some mistakes, most of them totally understandable in context, and none of them, even the really awful ones, mean you have to—to keep giving away bits of yourself!”

Martin voice has risen, gotten harsher as he goes, and he’s squeezing Jon’s hands tight enough that he can’t get them free to cross his arms, so all Jon’s frustration goes into his tone.

“Fine,” he snaps. “Fine! Neither of us will blame ourselves for things we couldn’t control, and we’ll both value ourselves more and build healthier self-images and all of that, and everything will be fine. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Jon glares. Martin scowls back, jaw set, still holding Jon’s hands tightly.

“Just like that,” Jon says.

“Absolutely.”

One more second of stubborn frustration passes. Then, helplessly, Jon snorts. Martin’s face twists, confused-irritated-wry, and then he’s snickering too, until they’re both laughing desperately, each leaning forward until Jon’s head is practically tucked under Martin’s chin.

“It’s not going to be that easy, you know,” Jon murmurs when they’ve calmed down, looking up to meet Martin’s eyes properly.

It’s an understatement; it’ll be hard enough just to keep things as good as they are. Martin still starts to drift off if he’s left alone for long enough, and no deal they make with each other is going to change the way Jon’s monstrous appetite is already starting to clamor for a statement.

“Well, at least we’re agreed,” Martin replies, but there’s a dry note in his voice that Jon knows means he understands. “We can remind each other.”

“I suppose.”

Their faces, once again, are very close together, and Jon abruptly realizes that he can feel Martin’s soft, tingling breaths on his cheeks. He pulls back, wrinkling his nose.

“What?”

“Nothing, just—breathing on me,” Jon explains. He’d mentioned his discomfort with that on their first night here, when he’d made sure there was a pillow between him and Martin on the bed.

Martin hums acknowledgement, then cocks his head in thought. Jon feels a curl of unease; this argument has been draining enough already.

“You know,” Martin says, “when you kiss someone, you can definitely feel them breathing on your face.”

“Oh,” Jon replies, utterly thrown. That was what had started this whole conversation. “Well. I probably wouldn’t have liked it much, then.”

“Good. And we figured it out without you actually having to do the uncomfortable thing,” Martin says. Jon sighs, then squints at him.

“And without you feeling like you’ve messed it up,” he replies pointedly, and Martin opens his mouth, then stops and chuckles.

“See? We’re going to be great at this.”

It’s not even remotely true. Jon still wants to know what kissing is like, though not with any real urgency, just as before; he’s still alarmed by Martin apparently feeling inadequate ‘all the time,’ and he doubts this has made a dent in it. Still, it might at least not make it worse.

Jon groans, leaning forward to rest his head on Martin’s chest and bringing his arms up to snake around his torso. “We can just hug instead.”

“Yeah,” Martin replies, folding him in tighter. “Yeah, okay.”

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

@cherie-piee​ asked:

hi so if you’re not comfy writing this or if you’re not up for it, no need to write it i’ll be alright!right now i’m just feeling extremely anxious and overwhelmed.. could i please emergency request kirishima, kaminari, & todoroki comforting an anxious s/o who just needs some affection and comfort? thank you sweetie. <33 *hugs*

Todoroki, Kirishima, and Denki Comfort Headcanons for an Anxious!reader

todoroki found you crying in your room only a few minutes before dinner, which you didn’t have much of an appetite for

your hands were in your hair, your chest racking with suppressed sobs

“y/n?” he said gently, holding a cup of water in his hands as he saw you on the floor. 

you can count on this man without hesitation to rush over to you, and he will act like an entirely different person

todoroki’s face immediately softens and crumples at the same time, as he sits in front of you, taking your hand as he grabs a blanket

you see a side of him that he never showed before, and your face is cupped in his hands

he’d definitely make his hands toastier for your comfort 🥺

he stares into your eyes and presses his forehead to yours. whatever tears that were on your face he wipes away, and he just pulls you into the softest hug in the history of hugs

“y/n,” todoroki says your name, and he says it gently this time. “love, i need you to breathe with me.”

“i know things seem difficult right now. and there’s so much to do, and right when you finish something, another thing comes up, right?” he takes your hand and squeezes it, to let you know he really is there for you. 

“but you’re still here. you’re still breathing. you’re still somehow here, in front of me, and you’re fighting. things might not get easier, but i need you to know that you are so, so strong-” his voice breaks as he gazes at you, his eyes full of so much love.

“and please, just keep holding on,” he caresses your cheek and gingerly kisses your hand, “when things get difficult, just remember that things can get better. please stay and breathe for me, love. and if things ever go wrong, remember that you’re human. it’s okay to take breaks. o-okay?”

todoroki’s choking up as he says this, “i never had anyone to really help me back at home. so if i can help you-” his thumb touches your cheek. “beautiful, kind, loving you, then... that’s enough for me. please hold on. taking care of yourself now is empathy for your future self, okay love?”

he lets you cry for as long as you want and he whispers words of comfort, letting you know that it’s going to be okay

song: grow as we go ➜ ben platt

kirishima immediately engulfs you into a hug 🥺

even when you show the slighest hint of you not feeling the best, even if it’s a joke, he’ll look at you with immediate concern on his face

“pebble... did you really mean that?”

even if you dismiss it, he’ll take you to your room and sit you down

and insanely slowly, he looks at you with so much love in his eyes, “are you okay?”

are you okay?

he says the words so carefully as if he’s testing the waters, except the way he says it is so gentle that you just fall apart

not even a second after you start tearing up, kirishima’s face crumples as he throws his arms around you

he lets you cry for as long as you want first, and doesn’t let you go

“you can tell me whatever you want, baby,” he says, wiping your tears

he’s def crying with you- 🥺🥺🥺

he points at his muscles, laughing, “see? i’m manly enough, tell me anything, pebble. i’m here for you, just tell me whatever. i don’t want to force it out of you. just say whatever you want to get off your chest.”

while he’s listening to you, his eyes are full of so much love, just insanely judge free as he holds your hand, kissing your temples every so often to remind you that he’s listening

it’s not awkward in any way either, because it’s so clear that he just as so much love for you

after you finish talking, expect him to be in tears. “crying is manly too, you know that?” he’s joking to lighten the mood as he kisses your nose

kirishima won’t be as deep as todoroki, but he’ll keep holding your hand as he gives you a cup of water. 

“i think you’re really brave.”

he says this almost out of nowhere, so you kind of stare at him, a bit confused

kirishima takes that as a way of continuing, “you’re brave because... after everything you’ve gone through, even the people who- who hurt you, i can still see you smiling. you smile even when everything’s falling apart, and you help people even when you can’t help yourself-- and- that’s so brave, to have kept this to you...y-yourself for so long. i know things are difficult, pebble. i know that all you want is to fall asleep and never wake up again, and not worry, but please, keep fighting. i love you so much.”

expect cuddles right after 🥺

song: hold on ➜ extreme music

denki might not be the best at comforting you and give you deep, serious talks-- but when he knows something’s wrong, it’s not what he does, it’s the way he does it

he’s wearing a light brown hoodie as he enters the room, “hey, babe! should we play mario kart or do you wanna-”

he hears sobbing from your room as he enters, and slowly, his expression begins to melt. he finds you crying, rolled up tight in a ball against the wall, as if you were trying to guard yourself

“babe?” 

when he hears no response, he doesn’t say anything, but rather, he slowly slides down next to you

for a few moments, it’s silent, until he gazes at you and holds your hand. 

the way his eyes show so much in just one stare is almost unbelievable-- it’s almost as if he’s talking through his eyes

your whole body is shaking as he pulls interlocks his hands in yours, asking you to breathe with him

he sits next to you and literally does not move for the heck of it, and he let’s your snuggle and lean on the crook of his neck

and this is the one time where you see his face etched with so much love, concern, patience, and overall, he just wants you to know that you’re loved

kaminari caresses your cheek as he kisses your eyelids gently, and squeezes your arm.

you pulled your hoodie over your face so he wouldn’t see your tears, and you almost thought he’d scold you, or feel hurt. you started taking it off when you realized--

denki had his hood on, too.

and it shouldn’t have been that big-- it was something as small as just both of you wearing hoodies, snuggled next to eachother. but the way he smiled so softly at you, how his eyebrows were slightly furrowed made you break down.

“hey, baby?” denki said softly after a few minutes. “i just want you to know that... if you’re ever scared or lonely, at least be lonely with me, okay?” he held cupped your face in his hands. “promise me that we’ll be lonely together.”

“you never have to handle anything alone. if something’s ever wrong, know that i’m always going to be here for you. whenever baby, okay?”

“i love you.”

song: this side of paradise ➜ coyote theory

i just want to say to you and everyone else reading this that i am so so proud of you for still standing here. please just keep holding on, it’ll get better. i promise you, you are not alone! and if y’all ever need anyone to talk to, please message me. i love you so much. you are more than enough.

tag list! : @cathwritestragediesnotsins​, @missmorosis, @maddiemadill, @cherie-piee​, @clearlynot-k-k-a​ 

[starlight-writes-stuff]

SO HEAR ME OUT an nsfw alphabet for draco

hey bestie - im literally so excited to do this (: i have a guilty pleasure of reading nsfw alphabets so u really hit the nail on the head with this request . n e ways , enjoy !

AYO LOOK AT THESE ! : smut (duh but still) , hair pulling , breeding k!nk , unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it) , masturbation , choking , light bondage , praise kink , general adult themes and content so please only read if ur okay with that .

reblogs are always appreciated ! <3 ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁  ☁

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

draco is the literal definition of a fluff fic after sex - hes so soft and loving and affectionate . if the sex was on the rougher side , draco goes out of his way to kiss any bruises , cuts , or red marks he may have left on you, soothing the sinfully painful spots with soft touches of his suddenly gentle fingertips.  

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

draco is built like a greek mf god , and he knows it . he’s all lean , toned muscles and his alabaster pale skin only makes him look more ethereal . draco is quite proud of his body and isn’t afraid to show off if needed.

draco literally loves everything about you , and you’ve tried over and over to get him to pick his most favorite - he never does it because he’s a stubborn little shit and refuses to let you think that he values one part of you over any other . finally , you wore him down to coming up with a top 3 : your hands , your hair , and your chest .

 your hands as they fit perfectly in his , they brush his hair out of his eyes with a gentleness that melts him every time (and the way you dig your nails into his back or his arms iykyk) . 

draco loves your hair mostly because its the exact opposite of his own ; long , thick , and chocolate brown . he’s constantly playing with your hair , whether that's running his hands through it or gently tugging on it to get your attention . he would kill you if you ever told anyone , but draco taught himself how to braid your hair so he would have something repetitive to do to calm his anxiety .

 draco loves your chest : he's such a boob guy . he is such a boob guy . even in a non-sexual context , draco loves having his hands up your shirt just feeling how soft your breasts are , the way that he can feel your heartbeat if you’re still enough . when things are getting *frisky* draco loves your tits - in his hands , using his mouth on them , titty-fucking you , literally everything . 

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

draco has a huge breeding kink , but is simultaneously terrified of getting you pregnant. he knows that he wants to be a dad eventually , but draco malfoy is the king of daddy issues™ and can’t fathom having a child right now .

that doesn’t stop him from filling you up with his cum every time you guys fuck - draco loves watching your face as you take his entire load , begging him not to pull out . 

once he does , though , draco’s head is immediately between your legs watching his manhood drip out of you , fingering it out of you while you whimper at the way he seems to hit all the right spots . 

he’s extremely thankful for the tiny , yellow birth control pills that you’re on , and he reminds you every day to take them .

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

draco had never , ever said i love you to someone during or after sex until the two of you had your first time . now , its a normal occurrence for draco to tell you how much he loves you as he thrusts into your pretty , fucked out body . he lets his forehead fall to yours , moaning the words in between heavy breaths as he finishes inside you .

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

draco had a couple of hookups , and a complicated friends with benefits situation before the two of you got together , so he was somewhat experienced by the time you guys finally got down to it . he made sure you felt so good the entire time , using every trick in his book to make you cum around him over and over until he reached completion as well . 

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

draco is a sucker for regular old missionary . he likes being able to watch your face as you take every inch of him , watching your facial expressions change and morph under the influence of his pleasure . if he’s eager to feel you - all of you - draco will hook one of your legs over his shoulders , giving him better access to your sex . this is the one instance where draco wont keep eye contact with you : he can't resist watching himself slide in and out of you , coated in your cum .

however

he's an absolute sucker for you riding him , too . he loves to let you take control and chase your pleasure - plus the visual of you bouncing up and down on his cock , eyes rolling back into your head as you hit all the right spots is enough to send him over the edge . if you get tired while on top , draco will gladly hold your hips in place , fucking up into you until you practically collapse into him , entirely taken over by the force of your orgasm. 

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

intimacy is something that didn’t come easy for you and draco; he’d never been with someone that he actually loved before you . there was a deep intensity to the emotions shared between you two during sex , and draco viewed that time between the both of you as something almost sacred . foreplay , or just general teasing can be silly with you two , but making love is more serious . 

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

draco keeps himself trimmed , but not entirely clean shaven , and the hair down there is darker than his signature white-blond locs .

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

(refer back to g but i could talk about this for days) draco is incredibly romantic when it comes to sex . your first time was like something out of a movie - draco had lit candles everywhere , filling the room with soft , flickering light , as well as changing the sheets on your bed to a soft , white cotton . he’d taken his time making you comfortable ; you and draco had talked through all your fears for hours before he laid a hand on you . once you were ready , draco’s touches had been soft and slow and tender all over your body - he’d made you feel like the angel you were . quickly , you learned that draco wasn’t like that just because it had been your first time ; draco made an effort to make sex just as special every time. 

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

draco was raised thinking that masturbation was a shameful act , something dirty and below him (you literally can not tell me that this isn't true i'll fight it until the day i die . as much as i love narcissa the malfoy family fkn sucks and they damaged draco so bad . anyways) so it’s very rare that he’ll get himself off. when he does , its somewhere where he can quickly get rid of the evidence , such as the shower . 

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

while draco makes sex between you two meaningful and special , that doesn’t mean that he’s afraid to be rough (after yall have had a long talk about it before where you gave him enthusiastic consent ofc . ) 

draco loves to pull your hair or wrap a hand around your throat while he’s hitting it from the back , so much so that he’ll bring your back up to his chest . 

he really enjoys a bit of light choking here and there - just enough to watch your pretty face flush with blood , making your moans the slightest bit weaker . 

draco loves to tie your hands up above your head while he’s eating you out as well ; it makes you take all the pleasure he’s willing to give , and he lives for the way your body writhes and bucks under his skillful tongue. 

you literally can not tell me that draco doesn’t have a praise kink - both giving and receiving . draco loves to tell you how good of a job your doing whether you're sucking him off or taking all of him inside you , and he’s constantly reassuring you that you’re doing such a good job.

however

he fucking loves when you praise him as well (my theory as to why is so fkn sad so we wont go over that here) but that boy lives for you telling him how good he’s making you feel , and when you encourage him nodding and whining for him to go faster . its the one thing that undoes him almost immediately , and he flushes furiously every time you tell him just how fantastic he’s doing .  

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

you and draco rarely get it on outside of your bedrooms at hogwarts , or your childhood rooms when you’re home for the summer - but there’s an exception to every rule. draco has absolutely ruined you in the quidditch changing rooms after a rather brutal loss , and he’s the king of shower sex , too.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

praise !! draco loves you telling him how good his dick feels , or his tongue , or his hands . he also appreciates when you’re rather direct with him - telling draco exactly where you want him , what you want him to do - it drives him absolutely insane . hearing such dirty words come from your sweet , innocent mouth kills him , and it makes draco that much more excited.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there's nothing draco wouldn’t try at least once , but he’s rather uncomfortable with voyeurism. he hates the idea of anyone else seeing your body , watching how you wriggle and whine underneath him as he makes you cum . while the two of you have done it in some questionable locations , draco had made sure that no one could see . 

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

while draco loves your mouth wrapped around him , that boy could spend all day between your legs . he's nothing short of obsessed with eating you out , and its one of his favorite things to do for you . he cant help the way it makes him feel - hearing you whimper and moan while you pull on his hair , your back arching off the bed when his tongue flicks in just the right way . he gets a sort of high from it , and absolutely prides himself on making you cum with just his tongue . 

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it really depends on the day . draco loves fucking you slow , watching his manhood slide in and out of your pretty body coated in your arousal , but he cant resist fucking you so hard he leaves bruises , either . if its just a regular day , the two of you fall somewhere in between , a perfect mix of rough and sweet . 

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

draco loves a good quickie every once in a while ! sometimes he needs a release , and your body is his favorite vessel . usually quickies are where the two of you get a little more risky - he’ll grab your arm , pulling you into an empty classroom or the shower and take you then and there . 

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes and no . draco would try anything and everything , especially if you asked him to , but there are some things that are a one-and-done for him . the two of you are good at talking about that stuff - if something made one of you uncomfortable , the other would understand 100% . its all about the balance of boundaries and still being adventurous. 

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

draco would fuck you all day if you would let him . he can make you cum many , many times before he’ll allow himself to even get close , and even then his stamina is through the roof . he can go at least 3 rounds if not more , and switch positions as many times as you’d like . 

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

while draco doesn’t mind you using toys on yourself , they do make him slightly jealous . you gently tease him about this sometimes , how he works himself into a sulk over an inanimate object - however, that usually leads to your hands tied to his headboard , draco holding a vibrator on your clit until you can’t take anymore orgasms. 

you two have expirimented with using your vibrator during sex , but draco much prefers playing with your clit over using an outside source , and seretly , you do too . he’s amazing with his hands , and rubs tight , fast circles onto your sensitive nub while his hips snap against yours only intensifying the sensation .

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

draco loves to tease you - he likes to watch the way you come undone under the slightest touches of his hands . very rarely does he tease you for long - he can’t resist giving you what you want , what you’re begging him for in that high , breathy voice .

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s a loud motherfucker all the time , and the bedroom is no exception . draco’s moans are music to your ears , and they turn you on more than anything . his already rough voice only gets raspier , and deeper , too . he loves to talk dirty to you , but as he approaches his orgasm , he can barely form full sentences . his cocky pillow talk turns to almost desperate moans and whimpers as his thrusts get sloppier and quicker , his hips snapping against yours hard . his groans as he cums are heavenly , especially since he’s usually buried his head in your neck or dropped his forehead to yours by then . 

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

we all know that draco have a superiority / god complex (as he should 😌) , and this manifests in the bedroom - you would’ve never known , though , if it weren’t for a complete accident . you and draco had been studying together , and he’d asked one of the yes or no questions written on a flashcard .  not thinking about your actions , you’d answered the question with “no, sir” - then physically felt draco’s entire body stiffen underneath you . you’d picked up on it immediately , blood flooding your face as you’d asked him if he liked it .

yes , he did .

he loves when you call him sir as he’s fucking the life out of you - like , he has to stop himself from cumming on the spot . 

when you want to fuck with him for whatever reason , you’ll jokingly call him ‘sir’ in front of your friends

you’ll pay for it later , though

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

mans is built in every sense of the word . draco is quite well endowed , which was something that took you a bit to get used to . he was never one to measure - it just seemed wrong to him , like he was doing something dirty - but by your estimations , draco is about 7 inches . he’s thicker than most , too , which only adds to your pleasure . 

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

draco lives in a constant state of horny™ . he can’t help it - something about you brings out his most primal instincts . he’s so in love with you and your body that he can rarely keep his hands off of it , but he knows how to control himself . he tries to match your sex drive ; when yours is high , his is too , but he doesn’t mind waiting on you to give him the green light if you’re libido has been lower . 

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

its safe to say that the both of you are extremley tired after sex - its quite the workout . draco is so soft once he’s finished , and he would live in that post-sex haze forever if he could ; he’s all sweet kisses and skin-to-skin contact , but he’ll usually wait until you fall asleep on him before he can drift off . something about making sure that you’re comfortable enough to sleep on him fills draco with a sense of immense pride . once you’ve fallen asleep, depending on how vigorous everything was , draco will usually fade pretty soon after ; on the off chance that he still has some energy , draco stays up and watches you . he looks at you as if you were a piece of art , usually following the soft lines and curves of your face with a gentle finger ; admiring you like the angel you are .

[feliix]

Crush Culture ✦ KTH (18+)

✦ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

✦ Rating: M ✦ Word Count: 14k (screams)

✦ Genre: fluff, angst, smut, fake dating!au

✦ Summary:  Once summer hits and you return to work at the local ice cream shop, you’re swarmed with couples coming in on lovey-dovey on dates. You’ve always hated the idea of relationships and love, but it’s Taehyung’s mission to make you reconsider by the end of the summer.

✦ Warnings: childhood friends 2 lovers, idiots 2 lovers unprotected sex, fingering, pining, soft sex, light mentions of marking, mentions of bad past relationships, Tae is kinda a player but he turns out alright

✦ A/N: a big big thank you to the lovely @hobiance​​ for helping me plan yet another fic and @jinned​ for giving me the much needed support and hyping me up until I finished my first long boi ilysm ♡ also thank you to my lovely beta @jinterlude​ who I would be completely illiterate without! the most beautiful banner you’ve ever seen is made by none other than my baby @koophoriia​ ily bunbunbun

Written for the BHQ Bangtan Boardwalk Collaboration

Taglist: @krystle1990​ @imluckybitches​

“Gross”

Another couple. Probably the 50th overly lovey-dovey pair that you’ve seen this evening alone. The shop is packed full of them on warm nights like this.

To say ‘love’ isn’t really your thing isn’t far from the truth. Relationships suck. Been there, done that.

You always keep the same theory; relationships either end in heartbreak or marriage. And even still, marriage can still end in heartbreak, so what’s the point?

“Stop being dramatic,” Taehyung laughs after catching your snide remark from around the corner. He had just run to the back to get you a fresh package of cups after using up all the stock in the front.

Tonight is busy, to say the least. The sun is setting, and it’s the perfect time for families and couples alike to come in and get a cold and tasty treat, especially on a day as hot as this one. It’s over 100º, and the humidity is doing a real number to your hair.

“It’s not dramatic,” you sigh, leaning on the counter behind you as Taehyung maneuvers around you, placing the cups on the shelf underneath.

It’s just the two of you on the schedule tonight. Your boss is kind of an asshole, leaving 2 ‘kids’ in their early twenties to run the shop by themselves while he went off to do god knows what. Probably at the bar across the street, since his car is still parked in the back, but he’s nowhere to be found. That’s okay though, it's better than having him loom over your shoulder and critique your scooping texture the whole shift.

“Whatever you say,” Taehyung shakes his head.

Unlike yourself, Taehyung is a hopeless romantic, always looking for love in the wrong places. It always seems that his relationships never work out though, which has always confused you – Taehyung is a great guy.

So great that you have been best friends with him for as long as you could remember. It all started that time in pre-k, where you poured a shovel of sand on his head in the sandbox. Initially, it did make him cry, but he got over it eventually. Ever since, he’s been right by your side, sandy hair and all.

“How much longer,” your eyes roll back in your head, neglecting to look at the watch on your wrist in fear that your shift has a significant amount of time left.

“Just under an hour, we should start the closing checklist so we can get outta here,” Tae responds as he reaches for the rag and sanitation bucket.

Nodding your head, you follow his plan – beginning your mission to clean like a speed demon so you can leave at 8 o’clock on the dot. You’ll be damned if a customer comes in at 7:58, but there's always one Karen that comes as you’re about to lock the doors. You hate those Karens.

Lucky for you, closing tonight went as smoothly as it can go. You and Taehyung are ready to go at 8 on the dot, clocking out and locking up behind you.

“So what are we doing tonight?” Taehyung asks, his fingers adjusting the headband that sits just above his forehead.

“I was gonna go home and sleep…” you trail off, avoiding eye contact with him. You know his eyes are much too convincing to look into, and you are beyond exhausted from working a double today.

“Booooo you’re boring,” he teases, stopping in his tracks in the center of the parking lot, “it was an early night we should do something.”

With a deep sigh, you stop as well, turning around to meet his suggestive smirk. He knows he’s about to get his way before you have the chance to argue back with him. So you tilt your head, waiting for him to explain what he has in mind.

“I’ll be at your house by 9.”

And with that, you’re starting the ignition to your car and racing home, carefully, of course.

Taehyung is always spontaneous like this.

After making it home and rushing to get ready, Taehyung was there to pick you up, a few minutes late, but that’s just par for the course. When you end up at your favorite boba spot, you know Taehyung wants to talk about something. He never wants to sit down at a place like this just for small talk, you’ve picked up on his signs and can read him like a book.

But when you finally get your drink and sit at your favorite table in the back corner, he doesn’t say much. It’s almost like he’s waiting for you to speak up. His eyes staring down at his drink instead of sipping it, hands rested in his lap with his lip caught between his teeth. It’s puzzling, slightly, you thought he wanted to hang out tonight and do something adventurous…

The awkward silence and lack of gestures from Taehyung is starting to make you uncomfortable, so you decide to take matters into your own hands.

“How are things going with that girl,” you ask before bringing the straw of your tea to your lips, sipping nonchalantly.

“Oh yeah,” he sighs, his fingertips drumming along the surface of the table, “it didn’t really work out.”

When it comes to Taehyung, relationships never really seem to work out. To say it lightly, he is extremely picky. His last relationship ended because he thought the girl breathed too loudly. The girl before that had an annoying laugh,  and then the one before that bit her nails.

Eventually, his pickiness has become a trend to the point that Taehyung will entertain a girl for a month or so. Then, he'll find something so minuscule within the said girl and turn it into a dealbreaker. The nit-picking things are way too much to move past for Taehyung. It’s clear that he is in search of the ‘perfect woman,’ like that even exists.

“You’re probably better off.”

You don’t think much of the words before they leave your lips. Relationships are a ton of work, is it really worth it to put all your effort into something like that? There is a way to just be happy on your own, you know.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He’s taken back by your statement, his eyebrows furrowing in response as he waits for your answer.

“You know what I think,” you tilt your heat matter-of-factly, “relationships are a waste of time.”

“What is with you and all this ‘anti-love’ stuff anyway?”

His question catches you off guard, a boba bubble almost catching in your throat leaving you a coughing mess. Taehyung chuckles at your discomfort, waiting patiently for you to get it all out and answer his question.

“I’ve wasted too much time with too many dead-beat guys to even think about love,” you sigh again, your coughing fit subsiding as you reach for your boba once again.

“Not all guys are dead-beats, you know.”

His words come out harsh, almost as if he finds your words offensive. Like you are meaning to group him in with all the guys you’ve dated in the past. Which is strange, Taehyung knows that he’s different. For one, you’ve never dated him before and two, if he was such a dead-beat you wouldn’t have kept him around for so long.

You can’t talk to guys, or most people like you talk to Taehyung. He’s the one you rant about the dead-beats to, along with everything else under the sun. He knows all the shit that you don’t tell anyone else, he’s like your own personal human diary. Secrets are always safe with him, it's not like he has anyone who would listen to the gossip even if he wanted to tell.

After a minute of silence Taehyung’s expression changes, his eyes squinting at you in that ‘I have a crazy idea’ type of way. It’s a look that you see often, and you couldn’t say that you would ever be used to it.

“Okay then I’ll make you a deal,” he proposes, a glimmering look in his eye that made you somewhat nervous. You never know what you are getting with Taehyung, but most of the time his ‘deals’ are on the crazier side.

“What is it?” You still ask although you’re a bit nervous to hear his answer. If his plan is to set you up with one of his delinquent friends or something–

“Be my girlfriend.”

Your eyes widen as the words leave his lips, confusion taking over your expression as a small chuckle leaves his lips. He can't be serious…

“Your what?”

“Two weeks is all I’m asking for. Be my girlfriend for just two weeks, and I’ll show you that love isn’t as shitty as you think it is.”

“You’re crazy,” you shake your head, a disbelieving smile stretching wide across your face.

“C’mon Y/N,” he challenges, “it’s two weeks of your life, what else do you have to do?”

The quirk of his eyebrow and quick squint of his eyes grabs your attention. He’s serious about this, scarily serious, and you aren’t quite sure how to react to that.

“What’s in it for you?” Your chin falls into your palm as you stare at him, waiting for his response.

“Well for one,” he starts, a sigh leaving his lips, “I won’t have to listen to you complain about how much relationships suck anymore.”

Just when you don't think you can roll your eyes any further into the back of your head, your own actions surprise you. If looks could kill, the one you’re giving him right now would surely take him out. He doesn’t pay much mind to it though, he’s used to your sass and just shrugs it off.

“This is an awful idea,” you glare at him as if it will change his mind. You’re certain this experiment of his would not change your own. Love sucked, and that was that.

“Two weeks,” his voice carries a taunting tone, his eyebrows wiggling to entice you into his plan. He isn’t going to give up on this easily, you know Taehyung. And Taehyung always gets his way.

“Fine,” you huff, “two weeks and that’s it. And if my mind isn’t changed you owe me 3 more of these,” you say, picking up your tea from the table and shaking it at eye-level for emphasis.

His bottom lip catches between his teeth, satisfied with your response. He isn’t exactly sure how he’ll manage to pull this off, but he’s definitely up for the challenge.

“We start tomorrow at 8, I’ll pick you up after work.”

Crossing your arms over the table, you bury your head in your arms. This is going to be the most interesting two weeks of your entire life.

“So you’re like dating dating?” Lainey’s jaw drops, excitement prevalent on her face as you spill about your night with Taehyung.

Lainey is the only person in your life that understood your hatred for relationships, other than Taehyung of course. Not that she shares the hatred herself, she just heard enough about how much you despise being in one to know how you felt.

Along with Taehyung, Lainey is your best friend. And she’s the only person in this world that you can bear to work a double with on a Saturday.

“That's the plan,” you sigh fiddling with the scoops behind you. It’s pretty slow for a Saturday afternoon, not many customers have come in since you opened up at 11.

That’s the thing about working at an ice cream shop – it sucks when it's slow, and it sucks when it's busy. Though it isn't a miserable job, you at least have Tae and Lainey to keep you company.

The smirk on Lainey’s face hasn’t disappeared since you told her about Taehyung’s deal. She’s shocked that you actually agreed to something like this, especially since it’s with Taehyung. The same Taehyung that ended a 3-month relationship last year because the girl ‘smelled like peaches.’ It’s only a matter of time until Taehyung finds your own deal-breaking trait.

“For the record,” you turn to look at Lainey, a grin still evident on her face, “I don’t think this is gonna change my mind.”

“Y/N,” Lainey whines as she draws out the last syllable of your name, plopping herself down in a chair to pout. “Stop being so…so…”

“So?”

Her face crinkles as she racks her brain for the word, rubbing her temples in hopes that it will come to her. Your eyebrow crooks in response, a slight chuckle leaving your lips as you wait.

“Pessimistic!” Lainey’s face lights up as it finally comes to her. She does have a point. It’s been a while since you actually let anyone in

“You know Taehyung, you never know, maybe something could happen,” her eyebrows lift at the end of her sentence, too suggestively for your own comfort.

“Okay no, that's exactly why this is only two weeks. I know Taehyung, he’ll be over it in 2 weeks.”

“Whatever you say,” the pitch of her voice is raised teasingly. She doesn’t believe this will be a two-week thing.

Lainey has been friends with you and Taehyung for 4 summers now. Once she started working at the ice cream shop with you two it was an automatic connection. Letting her into your little clique with no hesitation, you quickly became 3 peas in a pod.

But Lainey sees a lot of things that you aren’t able to see for yourself. You had grown up with Taehyung, grown accustomed to his unique mannerisms and behaviors without even noticing. Lainey, on the other hand, has a different point of view.

She sees the way Taehyung looks at you and how he hangs on each and every word that leaves your mouth. How he longs to make you laugh, watching you with a growing grin each time a chuckle passes through your lips. She notices every behavior that you see as nothing more than ‘friendly.’ But who is she to say? So, for now, the information remains tucked away and stored in her mind for a later date.

Your fingers drum on the glass cover of the freezer beneath you, leaning against it as you wait for a customer to come in. All this time with nothing to do is really doing wonders for your imagination; thinking about what Taehyung has planned for the two of you to do tonight. Nothing special, you hope, he really doesn’t need to go all out for this.

“He’s picking me up after work”

“Oooh he’s picking you up?”

“Shut up,” your eyes roll at her teasing nature, growing slightly embarrassed by how giddy it’s making you. It’s just Taehyung, and you are just hanging out like you do every other night.

The rest of you shift flies by – it always does when you work with Lainey. Before you know it, the closing checklist is coming to an end, only a few steps left before you can finally get out of here. The clock had just turned to 7:55 pm, but Taehyung still isn’t here. Not that you’re expecting him to be on time or anything, this is still the same Taehyung you have always known.

What you aren’t familiar with is the nervous butterflies fluttering around in your tummy as the clock approaches 8pm.  What are you even nervous about? It isn’t a blind date, other than the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing. And it isn’t even a date. It’s Taehyung for crying out loud.

Speaking of the devil, the chimes in the front of the shop ring as Taehyung passes through the doorway. You don’t see who it is at first, your back turns to the door as you sweep behind the counter. The chimes ringing at this time of night do trigger your fight or flight instincts though, ready to turn to whoever is approaching and give them a dirty look for coming in this close to closing time.

But once you turn around and see Taehyung standing in the doorway with a bouquet of sunflowers, your tension quickly subsides. You swear that you can feel your heart skip a beat, heat rising to your cheeks as you try your hardest to form a manageable sentence. It's okay that you aren’t able to, though, the surprised look on your face is enough for his own to light up and beam across the room.

“I’m here to pick up the pretty girl with the coffee ice cream stain on her shirt,” he chuckles, his bottom lip catching between his teeth.

He dressed a lot nicer than usual attire; a dress shirt with a loose pair of slacks dressing his slim figure. His hair is light too, much different than the dark brown curls that frame his face. He’s really going all out for this – and you’re wearing a pair of running shorts and an ice cream stained t-shirt.

Lainey is just as stunned as you are, frozen in her spot with her jaw practically on the floor. She looks at you with wide eyes, her eyebrows raising as a smug expression crosses her face. You look in her direction, about to ask if she’s alright to finish closing on her own, but before you’re able to say anything she’s already shooing the two of you out the door.

With a goofy grin displayed across his face, he hands you the bundle of flowers, tied together with a delicate white ribbon. You mumble a thank you, still stunned that he showed up here looking like that to take you out tonight. So he is the romantic type, note taken.

“You like nice,” you gulp nervously. It already feels like a date and you haven’t even left the parking lot yet. If this is how things are going to start you had an exciting 13 more days ahead of you...

“As do you,” he smirks, his eyes wandering down to the small brown stains littering your shirt. Eyes narrowing, you read the expression crossing his face – of course, he’s joking. “I brought you some fresh clothes to change into don’t worry.”

Relief rushes through your body as the words leave his lips.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

An interesting yet on-brand response from Taehyung. He’s a big fan of surprises – as long as he’s not on the receiving end.

The drive to your destination seems long. You aren’t quite sure how long you’ve been on your way; between the agile back seat changing of clothes, which you are surprisingly skilled at, and the anticipation coursing through your veins, you’ve lost track of time All you know is that you’ve been driving through backroads for at least 15 minutes, and the destination doesn’t seem anywhere near.

“This is it.” The car pulls into a small dirt parking lot, dimly lit by some dingy street lights that aren’t doing such a great job illuminating things. Your eyebrow crooks unintentionally – this was it?

Your eyes wander outward as Taehyung parks the car, unable to see anything further than a 10-foot radius.

“Where are we?” The question leaves your lips in a worried fashion. Trees surround the parking lot on all three-sides, while the road you've pulled in from occupies the fourth-side. You’re hesitant to get out of the car, but as Taehyung rounds the front and opens the door for you, you’re on your way out. He motions for you to hold on as he pops the trunk – returning with a blanket and a reusable shopping bag filled with god knows what.

He still hasn’t given an answer to your question though, and you still aren’t quite sure where you are. If It was lighter out you assume it would be beautiful here, all the greenery dark and shadows hovering over you from the trees.

The bright light from his cell phone flashlight lights up the way, a path on your right

“Hell no,” your arms cross over your chest as you stand still in your place. He’s out of his mind if he thinks you’re going into the woods this late at night. You’ve seen enough horror films, stuff like this never ends well.

“C’mon, it’s not as bad as it looks,” Taehyung laughs at your pouting manner, amusement filling his system as you glue your feet to the ground of the parking lot. His puppy dog eyes plead for you to follow him, a hand outreaching in your direction for the taking. You contemplate it for a moment, your eyes narrowing as you ponder the possible outcomes of the situation before you.

“Fine,” you huff as you take his hand in yours.

His hand feels different in yours this time. His long fingers lacing between your smaller ones in the perfect fit that you’ve neglected to notice before. You’ve held his hand before, platonically though. This time it’s platonic too though, right? It’s just a date. A platonic date between two friends. Two friends who are dating on a two week trial period. So yes, it is strictly platonic. Right?

The dirt path doesn’t drag on for too long, but the sounds of bugs ticking and twigs breaking beneath your feet is enough to startle you. Every scared and breathy gasp that  leaves your mouth is followed by a small fit of laughter from Taehyung. At least one of you is amused.

But the dirt path soon turns rocky, a clearing becoming more and more noticeable as Taehyung’s flashlight brightens the way ahead of you. The rows of trees come to an end as the ground flattens, a giant slab of rock lying beneath your feet. Out ahead of you is completely dark, and until you approach the darkness you don’t notice that you’re just a few yards away from the edge of a cliff. A river lies below the edge, the sound of water rushing fills your ears and calms your nerves. It is quiet out here, peaceful and without distraction.

Taehyung stands back as you admire the scenery around you – your own phone flashlight now out and panning around to look at the view. It’s beautiful out here, nothing to worry about but the sounds of the water and whatever Taehyung is doing behind you…

You couldn’t have zoned out for more than 2 minutes, but once you turn back around to face him a picnic blanket lies on the ground before you. Snacks scatter the extent of the fabric, a few candles placed in the center

“You really went all out for this, huh?” A nervous laugh leaves your lips before you swallow harshly. Never in your life has a guy ever gone all out like this for you. A late-night picnic at a secret location, fixed with all of your favorite snacks and some candles for ambiance.

“Had to,” he smiles, “it’s our first date.”

You join him on the blanket, grabbing for a bag of popcorn as you sit down. Maybe relationships wouldn’t suck so much if all men treated you like this…

Woah woah woah. It’s just Taehyung. Taehyung who already knows all your favorite things to eat. He’s just trying to be convincing – to prove to you that men take you on dates, do nice things. But stuff like this never lasts. Two weeks from now you’ll be going back to the same old Tae and Y/N friendship that you’ve always had.

The conversation goes on as normal tonight, he doesn’t make any moves (as expected, it’s Taehyung) and you enjoy the view and calm atmosphere with your fake but not so fake boyfriend. You stay out on the cliff for a few more hours before he takes you home. Taehyung put a lot of effort into making tonight special, and you appreciate him for that. But even after all his effort, you know that real relationships aren’t like this.

Every guy you’ve dated would try to woo you over in the beginning too. They call it the honeymoon stage for a reason. Things are always great in the beginning, lavish gifts and dates, loving gestures. That kind of thing never lasts. Soon the effort runs out, the guy gets bored of putting the work in, and they end up sleeping with your freshman year roommate. Well, at least that's how it is for you.

The bundle of sunflowers Taehyung gave to you earlier on in the night sits on the end table next to your bed. Each time you look at them all you can picture is the goofy grin he sported as he stood at the entrance of the ice cream shop. It replays in your mind like a movie. How he dressed up all spiffy just to take you out. How he took you to a spot only he knew about, somewhere so off-site and serene that he knew you’d remain uninterrupted. You can’t help but wonder if he’s using the same old tricks on you that he does to other girls though. If he only knew about that place because he’s taken someone there before.

Not that it matters though, you aren’t his real girlfriend. You’re just on a trial period. But for some reason the thought that he might have brought another girl to the same spot before doesn’t sit well with you.

“Sooooo,” Lainey teases, her chin falling into her palm as she leans on the freezer before her, “how was your date with Y/N?”

Taehyung chuckles at her nosiness, he’s sure you’ve already told her all about it. There are no secrets left between you two. Even sometimes Taehyung felt like the odd man out around you both.

“It was good.”

Taehyung keeps his answer short, leaving the rest up to her imagination. He isn’t one to kiss and tell or to not kiss and tell either. Things are better that way.

“Just good?” Lainey challenges, knowing there is much more that he’s leaving out. Her eyes narrow as she waits for his response. You haven’t told her anything about last night, not even where you went after he picked you up. Things are radio silent on your end.

Taehyung glances back at her, contemplating whether or not he should spill the beans.It would be nice to have someone else to confide in since it's always you on the receiving end of his secrets; however, this is the one secret that you can't know.

He chews on his bottom lip pensively, if anyone knows what’s on your mind, it would be Lainey. Not that Taehyung is looking to pry, he just has no indication to how you feel about last night, or about him.

Before Taehyung can even open his mouth to speak, a knowing smirk is spread wide across Lainey’s face. It’s that kind of look that makes him nervous – she knows something.

“You like her,” she muses, tossing her hair over her shoulder as the words catch in the air. It’s out there now, and it’s obvious. Well, maybe not obvious, but clear as day to Lainey – and that is more than enough to make Taehyung worry.

“I don’t,” He denies her claim, his willpower too strong to give into her.

“Oh yeah? Why do you self sabotage every one of your relationships then?”

Her words catch Taehyung off guard, his jaw clenching harshly as an annoyed breath is forced out of his nostrils. He wants to deny her claim once again, but he can’t bring himself to keep brushing off these feelings that have had a grip on him ever since he was young.

Lainey is right too. He does sabotage each relationship that comes his way. Taehyung goes out of his way to find something wrong with each girl he dates. He can never admit it to himself, but in the back of his mind, he knows that it's the fact that none of those girls are you.

“It’s written all over your face every time you look at her you know?”

Was he really that obvious? Did it show that much whenever he was around you?

“What do you mean?” Taehyung clarifies, the small once of hope bearing weight in his chest that Lainey is just joking around. That she doesn’t actually know the one thing he’s been holding onto for so long.

She doesn’t have to respond for him to know the answer. The quirk of her eyebrow and knowing expression on her face says enough.

“Well you can’t tell her,” he sighs, hand gripping harshly on the countertop as he stares down at the black and white checkered floors. Lainey turns to look at him staring down in distress, a sympathetic glance directed at him. He’s worried you’ll find out.

You can’t find out. If you do, then all bets will be off. Once you know Taehyung’s feelings for you there is no way that you’ll let your little arrangement continue. He knows you only agreed to this because there is nothing between you romantically, or at least as far as you know.

Lainey bears her weight on the cooler behind her, leaning comfortably on the cool glass. “I want her to be done with this ‘I hate love thing’ just as much as you do,” her fingers mock air quotes as she continues, “Want me to be honest?”

“Please.”

“I think you might be the only one who can change her mind.”

Taehyung’s heart skips a beat as the words leave her mouth. Blood rushes to his ears, pumping like a snare drum as he considers what she just said. He’s confused as to what she means. You agreed to fake-date him, but you still hate love.

A comfortable silence fills the air, Lainey watching him as his lips roll between his teeth as he’s deep in thought. Change your mind. The words repeat in his mind like a broken record. That’s what he’s trying to do, for the right reasons; so that you won’t be so miserable. But behind those selfless reasons come with smaller selfish ones. He gets to be with you as more than a friend now, and although it’s nothing more than some kind of test run, he can’t help but feel like this can be something more too.

“Like you think…” he gulps, clearing his throat as the words stutter out of his mouth, “I could get her to fall for me?”

The lack of response that Lainey gives is ominous, but the raise of her eyebrows and toothy grin forming on her face needs no words to tell. If anyone is to change your mind, it’ll be Taehyung.

That night Taehyung took you to the drive-in movies. To be quite honest, you couldn’t really recall what was playing, some Pixar film with bugs as the main character if you can recall it correctly. You were far too distracted laughing with Taehyung, watching as young kids played around on a grassy patch near his car. The giggles that left his lips each time the little girl waved to him were music to your ears. You never noticed how much he loved kids, how good he was with them.

The image of his hands clasped together as he fawned over the little girl, picking dandelions in the grass and racing to place them by your feet was burned into your memory. The boxy grin that graced his face all night long. The way his eyes squinted from his cheeks, pushing up as he smiled so big. The whispers of the word ‘cute’ each time her pigtails bounced while she toddled away.

Missing the movie doesn't disappoint you. If anything, the memories you've saved from tonight are more than enough.

The next night you were unable to go out, the shop was so busy that you were not able to leave until an hour and a half after your shift was supposed to end. Some punk kid dropped 2 cones on the floor on his way out and decided it would be best to leave them there without cleaning anything up. Maybe if it hadn’t been so busy then you would have noticed the spill before it dried up and stuck to the tile floors.

Naturally, you spent a good 15 minutes trying to mop up all the stickiness on the floor. But to your luck, Taehyung is working with you that night. Once all the customers left the shop he hooked his phone up to the speakers, grabbed your hands, and danced you around the shop. Well, it was supposed to be dancing but it probably looked more like Taehyung swinging your arms as you attempted to not trip over your own feet.

It makes up for not getting to go out though, and you’d take a night like that over a fancy dinner any chance you got. 

It’s been 12 days since you became Taehyung‘s girlfriend, and as the remaining days decreased, so did your hatred for love. Each night he planned something special. The real kicker was the texts that you get once he makes it home from dropping you off every night. A simple ‘I had a great time tonight’ was enough to make your heart swell and heat rise to your cheeks.

And as you notice your hatred for love and relationships leaving you, you notice another feeling enter your system. Or several feelings…

Things are getting just as sticky as the night two when ice cream cones landed on the shop floor face down, sprinkles and all. Spending time with Taehyung like this is bringing some things to the surface you didn’t know were buried in the first place.

Every night that you spent with Taehyung over the past 12 days allowed you to see him in a new light. You got to see him on a different level than just friends. You got to see what every girl that fawns over Taehyung experiences.

Something about your friendship never let you jump past that barrier. You only see him as a dear friend of yours. Nothing more and nothing less. And now the issue is that...you aren’t sure how you’ll ever go back to see him as such.

You like Taehyung as more than a friend, that's for sure. And you know because of that things will never be able to go back to the way they once were.

Maybe you're reading too much into it, but your gut is telling you that you aren't the only one feeling this way.

The feeling of butterflies that pound in your stomach each time you meet eyes with him has to be reciprocated. There is just no way you can be feeling this way and he isn’t.

This isn’t like the feelings you’ve caught for any guy before, this is something else. Every night when you go home you lay in bed, staring at your ceiling with a dumb grin on your face as you think about your time together, about him. About the way his black curly hair falls in front of his eyes each time he looks down and how his smile lights up every room he was in.

These things that you were so blind to before can’t escape your thoughts, and it makes you wonder how many times or things you’ve looked over that make you melt, just like you are right now.

But in just 2 days, this trial-boyfriend period will be over, and you’ll have to go back to being just friends. Each day, each hour, each minute that approaches feels heavier and heavier. Anxiety floods your system each time you think about things being over, or that this arrangement you have isn’t even real.

When you think about the growing feelings you have for him, you honestly can't imagine what your life will be like any other way. What it would be like going back to just hanging out here and there. And what it would be like

You can’t even fathom thinking about what it would be like hearing him talk about another girl again. It makes you sick thinking that there's going to be someone after you, because in just 5 days this will be all over, and you’ll go back to being the girl best friend, nothing more.

Maybe it’s just wishful thinking that Taehyung has more feelings for you too. But the glimmer in his eyes as his bangs brush out of his eyes and they land on you tells a different story. When he looks at you it feels like you are the only two people on earth. He sees nothing else but you, and the way your eyes sparkle back at him.

Each day you spend with Taehyung after that feels like a wrench tightening the screws of your heart. 14 days is just not enough.

“Earth to Y/N” Lainey says waving a hand in your face. You must have zoned out, for god knows how long.

“Thinking about Tae?”

“What,” she catches you off guard, straightening your posture and brushing yourself off before responding to her, “no…just thinking.”

“Right,” the sarcasm drips from her lips, turning away from you as she wipes off a table in the front.

For personal reasons, you’ve kept Lainey out of the loop during this whole fake-boyfriend Taehyung thing. It’s better if you keep your feelings to yourself until you figure them out. And although it feels really really strange not giving Lainey the intel on what’s going on in your life, you know it’s for your own good.

Once you put what is in your head out into the world, you can’t take it back. What if you are just in the honeymoon-phase? If these feelings for Taehyung are only because he’s trying his best to woo you, and then they’ll just fade away as things return back to normal.

Something in you tells you that this isn't the case, but the small shadow of doubt in the back of your mind keeps you from talking to your best friend about it anyway.

The thing is, you don't have to tell Lainey for her to know. Every time Tae picks you up from work to take you out you shine. Your smile spreads so wide she’s afraid your cheeks will tear. The nervous shake of your fingers as you grab for your belongings as you head out the door doesn’t go unnoticed in Lainey’s eyes. She knows you too well to look over things like this, she just wanted to wait for you to say something first.

But now that you aren’t, Lainey has decided to take matters into her own hands, asking you about it herself.

“Lainey,” you start, waiting for her attention before you pull out a stool, sitting down and motioning for her to follow suit. She does, a questioning but knowing look evident on her face as she joins you. “You know how this thing between Taehyung and I is just an experiment or whatever?”

She nods in response, her hand quickly falling into her palm as she listens intently to your words.

“I think I messed up.” Your head is buried in your arms, laid over the tabletop in embarrassment.

“What do you mean?”

Her question is more for clarification, she wants to hear you say it herself. She knows that you’re gonna tell her you caught feelings. She sees it coming from a mile away, you confirming it is just the icing on the ice cream cake.

“Don’t make me say it,” you whine, neglecting to pick your head up and look at her. You can feel the grin on her face. You know she's smirking at you right now, doing her best to hold back a laugh. Finally, you got over your ‘I hate love and relationships suck’ thing.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” she sings, quite obviously teasing you while another deep sigh echoes from your chest. You manage to pick your head up, leaning onto your elbows with your chin caught between your palms as you face her.

“I like him.”

It comes out as a whisper, but Lainey hears it loud and clear. If you didn’t know better, you’d assume that the smile on her face can't grow any larger, but it does. She jumps up from her chair in victory, doing a funny dance with her arms whooping in the air to celebrate. You’re confused as to why, but you’re too far in your own thoughts to pay it any mind; your head just sinks back into your arms as your forehead presses against the cold metal table beneath you.

“I knew it,” Lainey smiles, her happy dance subsiding as she sits back down across from you. “I knew this fake dating thing was gonna work.

“Yeah well it really worked, because now I have feelings for a guy that’s never gonna reciprocate them for me.”

Your tone is laced with sarcasm, a disappointing ring outlining each of your words. You’re too embarrassed to look at the girl sitting before you, worried that if you do all the emotions you’ve been holding onto for so long will spill over and stain your stone-cold image; one you’ve maintained for far too long.

But Lainey’s your best friend. The only one that you should be comfortable being vulnerable about your feelings for Taehyung with; for some reason all you can’t bring yourself to be.

Before you can get a grip on your emotions tears are streaming down your face, falling onto the cold metal surface under you in small puddles. 

A sympathetic sigh leaves Lainey’s lips as she tries to gain your attention, “Hey.”

Inhaling deeply, you face her – mascara strewn across your face in black streaks and eyes nearly bloodshot. You’ve held this in for far too long. Only a double would tire you out and exhaust you enough to cry on the clock. Thank God it’s a rainy day, no customers ever come in on rainy days.

Or at least, no customers usually come in on rainy days. It's not until you hear the bells on the front door ring that you’re wiping your eyes, whipping around to greet whoever was entering.

And then you see him, standing there as he shakes out his umbrella, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand.

And he sees you; mascara running down your face and tears staining your cheeks. He’s early. Your stomach turns at the sight of him, emotions not stable enough to handle carry a normal conversation like  

“Y/N,” his voice is quiet, worry dripping in his tone as your name leaves his lips. But you can’t face him right now, not like this.

Your feet move faster than you mind, standing up and rushing to the back to avoid him. Taehyung doesn’t follow you, just stands there and watches you walk away, solemn and worried that he’s done something. 

It’s not until Lainey is rising from her seat and pacing over to him that he’s brought back to reality.

“Taehyung,” she starts, hands coming up slowly to console him, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here right now.”

“Wh-What’s wrong?” His lip worries between his teeth, eyes glossy as he stares at the door you just closed behind you. He’s looking at it intently, mind flooding with worry, wishing so badly that the door will just fly open, and you’ll tell him what was going on. In the back of his mind, he knows that you won’t, at least not for now. Talking about emotions has never been your strong suit, and chances of that changing at this moment are at an all-time low.

Lainey is unsure how to answer him, caught in between not wanting to lie and keeping your feelings private. She doesn’t want to speak for you; but she’s scared of saying something that can make this situation worse.

Her mouth gapes as she searches for a response to his question, lips opening and closing and she hums to find the right words. They don’t come.

The umbrella hanging from Taehyung’s hand drops with a crash, starling Lainey as she jumps at the sudden sound. But before she is even able to speak, the bell to the front door is ringing again, and Taehyung is walking away into the pouring rain.

The next day you wake up feeling numb. You’ve received several texts from Taehyung the night before, none of which you have the energy to reply to or even look at for that matter.

The guilt riddling your body has become too much for you to handle. You left work last night without even saying goodbye to Lainey. She’s a good enough friend and coworker to know that what you’re going through is more important than working the counter at an ice cream shop. 

After Taehyung left she came back and let you know; she almost had to break down the door to the backroom in order for you to let her in. She told you to go home, get some rest and that you’d talk tomorrow.

But after waking up the last thing you want to do is talk about Taehyung; to think about him.

Every time you thought about how your arrangement was supposed to end in just a few days you felt sick. You have worked so hard to open up just to build your walls back up again. And now you’re back at square one.

When you agreed to be Taehyung’s girlfriend you did not expect to fall for him like this. He’s Taehyung. He’s your personal diary, the one who knows all the shit that nobody else knows and listens to all the shit that no one else cares about.

Feelings ruin everything. Love sucks, and you knew this before you agreed. You agreed under the circumstances that Taehyung could show you that relationships could be fun; not under the circumstances that he would make you fall in love with him,

And the more that you think about it, maybe you were always in love with him. Maybe you always had these feelings for him, but they were trapped in the tight bonds of friendship that your subconscious never let you out.

But none of that even mattered now. The deal had to be off, and you need to distance yourself from Taehyung before you are hurt any worse. The longer this goes on the worse that you are going to feel when it's all over.

How are you supposed to go back to normal after this? Like is Taehyung thinking that showing you how amazing relationships are, you won't fall for him or something? Or does his true plan consist of making you fall in love with him, just to string you along like every other girl he's dated?

You’re trapped in the never-ending spiraling thoughts, soiling your image of Taehyung with each new theory that crosses your mind. None of them are good. All of them paint him as a player, as someone who just used you.

But the little thump in your heart when you notice the sunflowers placed on your bedside table wants your mind to change. Your heart wants you to believe that Taehyung feels something too, that throughout this arrangement he has seen a different side to you too – that he’s fallen for you just like you have for him.

It's a knock at your door that guides you out of your thoughts. The repetitive tapping at your front door that drags you out of bed. And when you check your peephole and it's no one else, but your small blonde best friend standing on your doorstep that has relief rushing through your system.

The door cracks open, Lainey standing there with an umbrella in her hand – even though it was nearly 100º with clear skies.

“Why are you still in your pajamas? It's noon.”

She pushes past you and to your living room, plopping down on your couch and making herself comfortable as she waits for you to join. You spin on your heels, an exhausted breath leaving your mouth as you pace over to her, plopping down beside her.

“Why the umbrella?” Your brow furrows as she hands it over. You take it though, still confused behind the meaning of the object that you're holding and where it came from.

“It’s Taehyung’s.”

You nearly drop it as his name leaves her lips. The name causes your stomach to tighten, mouth-drying instantly as emotions well behind your eyes.

“Why?” Is all you can mutter out. Why was she giving it to you, why was she here, and why did she have it?

“You need to bring it back to him.” She says sternly, her eyes locked on you as she waits for you to look back at her. But you’re too focused on the umbrella placed gently in your hands, tracing your finger over every wire and the soft rubber handle.

“I can’t.” Your words come out in a whisper, breath light and airy as you sigh, sinking your body back into the couch cushions. Giving the umbrella back to Taehyung will mean that you have to go see him. And if you see him, he’s going to want to talk to you about last night, then question you about why you haven’t been returning his texts. No. You will not be giving Taehyung his umbrella back.

“Y/N,” your name leaves her mouth gently, a sigh following it before she reached for you, rubbing your arm comfortingly before continuing, “I think you need to talk to him.”

“Lainey,” you let out an annoyed sigh, “you know I can’t do that.”

You’re serious in your words. Not that you don’t want to talk to him. If you could, you would, but you can’t. There are too many emotions involved. The wound is fresh and seeing him would be rubbing salt right into it.

“Y/N,” she sighs, this time more forceful, she’s trying to get something across to you but it's going right over your head. “Talk to him. Please.”

“You know I’m going to end up hurt if I do.”

Tears well in your eyes as the words croak from your throat. It's dry and scratchy, full of fear and anxiety.

“I think you’d be surprised,” she mumbles, her eyes instantly widening on realizing the words that just escaped.

Eyes wide with confusion, they’re begging her to go on, but if she does then Taehyung won’t be the only one in deep shit right now. You can’t know what she knows.

“What do you mean I’ll be surprised?”

“I have to go,” she stands instantly, motioning to the umbrella, “and you need to bring this back.”

With a slight ruffle to your hair, Lainey is giving you a supporting smile and waving goodbye. And you’re left alone once again – just you and Taehyung’s blue umbrella.

It takes a lot of courage to get ready today. You make sure to take your sweet time rummaging through your closet, flipping through articles of clothing for the better half of an hour. At the end, you opt to go with a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. There isn't enough energy in your body to put on anything else, and you know you’ll just want to curl back up in bed once you get home. Sweatpants are safe, and safe is just what you need.

No makeup today either. If things are anything like you’re expecting, your makeup will just end up ruined anyway. It's your better judgment to shower though, you’ve neglected to take one after work last night; opting to just bury yourself under your covers as soon as you got back. But today is a new day. And with a fresh shower and your comfiest pair of sweatpants, you are about as ready as you’ll ever be to get your heart broken into a billion pieces. 

Umbrella in hand, you step out onto your front steps, relishing in your last few moments of ignorant bliss before making your way to Taehyung’s. You immediately regret your wardrobe decision as the sun beats down on your frame, the humidity making you feel sticky and gross – your favorite pants are  no match for this heat.

But you’re on your way to your destination anyway, the drive feeling longer and more drawn out than normal. Taehyung didn’t live that far away from you, but the ride there still felt like an eternity with each theoretical scenario passing your mind. 

Dragging your feet, you make your way to the front steps of his house. You’ve been here a million times, but today is different. From now on, every time you drive past this place all you’ll know is heartache.

You brush yourself off, taking a deep breath before bringing your hand up and pushing the doorbell. The sudden ringing sound startles you, even though you have every indication that it’s coming – you’re just too nervous and jumpy for your own good.

Footsteps approach the door, your stomach tightening more and more with the muffled pitter-patter of footsteps. You’re praying to God that it’s his mom, hoping that Taehyung just so happens to be out – even though his car is in plain sight parked just a few meters away from you. Wishful thinking, you suppose.

When the door to his house opens, you struggle to maintain your composure. He’s dressed similarly to you; a pair of sweats and an old sports t-shirt that has definitely seen better days.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

His eyes are sunken in, dark circles dragging underneath his eyes and his lips pulled downwards. He looks like a sad puppy, his dark hair all scruffy and sticking up in each direction – probably from him running his hands through it so many times. 

“I came to give you this,” you extend the umbrella out before you. He nods before taking hold of it, his hand far at the opposite end making sure not to keep his distance. The more you look at him, the more sorry you feel for dodging his texts. He looks like he hasn’t slept a wink, and you’re afraid it’s all because of you.

“Oh...uh, thanks,” he struggles to make eye contact with you, looking down at the object in his hand. 

It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and you can’t seem to find the words to say to break this strange tension between the two of you. He’s acting weird, shifting his weight back and forth but not moving away to close the door. His mind is racing once again – contemplating whether or not to just invite you in or leave it at that.

But with every aching bone in his body, he musters up the courage to lift his head, looking you directly in the eyes. Their dark like his, definitely from the lack of sleep you had the night before. Your mouth is turned downward too; hands fiddling together to try and distract yourself.

“D-Do you wanna come in?” He stutters, stepping aside slowly as he gestures towards his house. He suddenly worries when you don’t respond right away, taking a second to contemplate if this is a good idea or not. Ripping off the band-aid is never easy, but it needs to be done.

“Sure,” is the word that you decide on – hoping that it doesn’t make you seem disinterested or too desperate to talk. Maybe he’s just being kind though. Maybe it’s an empty offer, something that you say when you’re trying to be nice, but subconsciously hope that they won’t take you up on it. Like when you offer to share your food with someone, but you’re really hungry. You do it to be nice, not because you actually want to split the delicious looking burger and fries on your plate.

He leads you inside and to his bedroom. It looks the same as always, but it feels different. It still smells like him though, the comforting woodsy scent of pine and mahogany that he always reaches for. But that comforting scent is anything but comfortable. You’re frozen in place, unsure if you should sit on his bed and make yourself at home, much like every other time in the past. For now you just stand in the doorframe, waiting for him to tell you to take a seat, just like any polite guest would. A guest. You have never felt like a guest in his home before, or around Taehyung in general. But that imaginary wall between the two of you is standing tall and sturdy, and suddenly the two of you are reverted back to being strangers.

You watch as he toys with something on his desk, his fingers dancing from object to object and sifting through papers to look busy. The point of it – unknown to you but to him, he’s buying time. Trying to think of the first thing to say, what to ask, or if you even wanted to talk. Maybe you only agreed to come inside to be nice. Maybe you were too worried about hurting his feelings if you said no. But alas, here you are, standing awkwardly in his doorway as he shuffles around his room, his brain flooding with thoughts – but his mouth can not form them into audible words.

“I’m sorry for ignoring your texts.”

Your voice catches his attention, dropping whatever paper he’s looking at now and turning his gaze to you. You’re sunken into yourself, your chest thumping with anxiety as his eyes begin to wander your frame. Not in a ‘I’m checking you out’ manner though; more of a ‘you look so sad and I don’t know what to say to you right now’ kind of way. 

It’s true though, he doesn’t know what to say – which is why he’s staring at you, hoping the right words would just pop up and he didn’t have to use any brain-power at all. He doesn’t want to say ‘it's okay,’ because it's not. You never ignore his texts, and that alone tells him enough about what's going on. You are upset at him.

“What did I do wrong, Y/N?”

His words sound accusatory but his tone is soft, gentle and full of worry. Eyes swollen and looking like they are about to fill to the brim with tears, his sight is focused on you; now not able to look away.

“I-I don’t know…”

Your answer is honest. You don’t know if his intentions are dirty. Yeah, that’s what you thought initially, but looking at him with such hurt written all over his face tells a different story. 

Taehyung is silent, unsure of what more he can do or say to make you talk to him. He can’t force you to open up, he never has and he never will – that’s always been his rule. Everything you’ve shared with him has been on your own terms and conditions. Taehyung has always been here to be your listening ear, but he never pries.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

His voice is soft, eyes full of sympathy as he holds himself together. Those were the words he has been looking for. Now the ball is in your court and you’ll have to be the one leading the conversation. It’s just what he needed to figure this shit out.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Y/N,” he sighs as he drops himself down onto the mattress, “I shouldn’t have to say this for you to know it, but you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

You do know that. You really, really do. But this time things are different. Is he expecting you to just come out and speak your truth like there won’t be consequences? No, he won’t push you to tell him anything you don’t want to. But the worry in his eyes and clammy hands are begging for you to just let it out so he can stop being in the dark.

You sigh out an ‘okay’ before sitting down beside him. 

Rip the band-aid off Y/N. Quick and painless.

His eyes narrow, almost to a squint, staring right through you in hopes of reading your thoughts. Your expression is nothing but blank as you try your best to gain some sort of composure. Do you just speak up and spill your guts? The words replay in your mind over and over until your thoughts are beat down and misshapen. 

You can picture his face when you say it; disgusted with a trace of disappointment and some confusion spread into the mix. Or maybe he’ll laugh at how pathetic you were, catching feelings for your fake boyfriend.

That’s it. There’s no way you can tell him. It would be much easier to just get up and leave. Tell him to pretend like none of this ever happened and that you needed some time to cool off. A few months maybe, or maybe you could just ghost him entirely. 

“Y/N?”

The sound of his voice breaks you out of your toxic thoughts, and his chocolate brown eyes bring you back down to earth. You can’t just leave him in the dust. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing that exists. Things will be okay, right?

“Sorry, sorry,” you exhale deeply as you calm your thoughts; shifting the nasty scenarios out and accepting that whatever happens after this conversation is your fate. 

“Taehyung, I-I guess I wasn’t expecting this boyfriend-girlfriend thing we’re doing to go like this.”

His brow quirks at your words, confusion riddling his expression as his eyes narrow. With a tilt of his head, he’s pushing you to continue, visibly riddled with your choice of words.

“Swear you’ll be honest when I ask you this?” You question him, your hand moving closer to his as you lean in slightly. He’s like a magnet, you can’t help yourself from moving closer; even though the proximity of the two of you is clouding your thoughts and you can feel your heart beginning to swell.

He nods in response to your question, his eyes full of concern as he waits for you to continue, “Why did you ask me to do this thing?”

He knows that a question like this was coming, only if he could have prepared for it. But he didn’t, so his throat is left dry and scratchy as his mouth opens, only to stutter a bit before closing it back up. No coherent thoughts or words are able to escape his lips, just nonsense mumbling that caught himself off guard.

With a deep breath, he closes his eyes, regaining his composure before he can face you again. He agreed to be honest, and if honesty is what you want, honesty is that you’ll get.

“I’m sorry.” That’s all that he can say. 

Oh no. This is exactly what you were expecting before you came here. He’s gonna tell you that he didn’t mean to mess with your emotions, that he felt you catching feelings and got carried away. That he’s sorry that he ruined your friendship and played you like a violin all at once.

“Me too.”

You don’t know why you’re apologizing, but you are. It feels wrong. Absolutely utterly, and undoubtedly wrong. Apologizing for your own feelings is not something that you are okay with. Especially when he made you fall for him like this. Okay so maybe thinking that is giving him too much power, but who the hell takes you out on dates for nearly 2 weeks straight just to laugh about it later. How can he expect you to not catch feelings for him? With his deep voice and fluffy hair that always hangs in front of his eyes, that little giggle he has when he finds something amusing. Everything about him was attractive. And you’ve fallen for it all. Hard.

“Wait, why are you sorry?”

A scoff escapes your mouth unintentionally, but it’s well deserved. “For being the idiot to fall for a guy that was playing her, I guess.”

You can’t look at him any longer, so your eyes fall to your lap, staring at your chipped nail polish and dirty fingernails instead of reading whatever dumb expression he has now. But if you just took a second to look up, you’d notice the widening of his eyes, how his fingers are beginning to shake and his mouth gape. 

“Wh-What?”

“Don’t make me say it again Taehyung, I don’t feel like sounding stupid one more time.”

“No no I heard you, it's just,” his eyes slam shut, angry at himself that he let things get this far without keeping you in the loop. 

You’ve been telling him that you hate love for years now. After hearing it so many times, he’d just given up on the thought of you. Maybe if he said something before you went through all those shitty guys things could have been different. But he’s let this go on for far too long, and now you’re the one that was paying the price. 

“Y/N, I have feelings for you.”

Your neck nearly breaks with how fast your head snaps up. He’s the one looking away now, his cheeks a bit rosy as he tries to hide himself. He isn’t doing a very good job though, his hair is only shadowing his eyes and you can clearly see the way he’s nervously chewing on his lip; a cute habit you have grown fond of these past couple of weeks.

If he didn’t look like he does right now, you’d assume he was messing around. But you know Taehyung. You know his small little gestures and what they mean by now. You know when he’s being serious and when he’s telling a lie. He can look someone dead in the eye and lie to them, but when he tells the truth, he becomes shy and worried that he’s said the wrong thing. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask softly, gently reaching for his hand. The subtle contact makes him flinch, reacting by pulling your hand away. But his eyes meet your sympathetic ones, sparkling just like they always do, and he knows what he wants.

Taehyung’s hand reaches back for yours, lacing his fingers through yours before giving your hand a light squeeze. “You hate relationships,” he chuckles lightly, the mood of the room instantly shifting as the laughter leaves his lips. 

“I hated the ones that weren’t with you,” you correct him, but your voice comes across as just a whisper. He’s close enough to hear though, a blushing grin forming on his face as you shyly look away. His heart flutters when he hears it, a million butterflies erupting in his tummy all at once.

“I hated the ones that weren’t with you too,” he coos, his eyes wide and sparkling as he looks at you with such adoration. 

Time moves in slow motion as his hand meets your cheek, your eyes look deeply into his chocolate ones as he moves in closer. As your eyelids flutter shut his tongue runs across his bottom lip, wetting the surface before closing the distance between you. Finally.

And in that moment you’re at peace. Everything you thought you’ve ever hated, love, relationships, and maybe Taehyung for a hot second, are the only things that you long for. The 14 days don’t have to be over, and your days no longer have to be counted. When you’re with Taehyung you’re happy, you’re comfortable, and you're confident that he can give you what you have always deserved – but have never gotten. 

His lips move against yours in slow, languid motions, his large hands holding you close like he’s holding on for dear life. But you won’t leave even if you want to, not now, not after all this. 

Slowly, Taehyung shifts his weight and you move in succession. He’s laying you down on his bed, gently climbing over you without breaking the kiss. Things are becoming more heated now, you can feel it as his hungry lips devour your own. Your chest heaves up to meet his, your back arching off the mattress as his hands begin to scour your body. The heat pooling in between your legs is growing, an aching sensation overwhelming your core as your own hands reach up to rake through his long, fluffy hair. And you can tell he wants you too, the thin fabric of his sweatpants doing little to conceal the growing erection pressing against your thigh. 

You can’t help but let out a steep moan as his hips begin to grind into yours. Needy groans fall past his lips and onto yours as you roll your hips upwards to meet his small ruts. 

In a leisurely motion, Taehyung’s body is moving upwards, his knee finding a place between your legs as he brings himself up to a kneeling position. You chase his lips the entire way there, sitting up straight to be sure the contact doesn’t vanish, too consumed by your need for him to leave his lips.

And then his needy hands are running along the waistband of your sweats, fiddling with the tie before breaking your heated kiss. “Is this okay?” His words come out in a whisper, his eyes searching yours for any signs of doubt, but all he sees is lust.

“Yes,” you confirm, out of breath from making-out for so long without coming up for air. The lightheaded feeling taking over you goes unnoticed though, and quite frankly you’re too caught up in Taehyung to care.

Quickly, he rids you of your pants, looking back up at you for confirmation about your underwear. With an affirmative nod he’s removing those too, leaving you completely bare from the waist down as he stands over you fully clothed.

But soon he’s ridding himself of his own clothing, his shirt being pulled at the nape of his neck as he discards it across the room. He’s leaning back down to you, hungry for the feeling of your lips. He misses it, even though it's been less than a minute since he’s last felt your smooth lips on his. 

You won’t open your eyes to see, but with the shuffling movements and shaky connection between your mouths you can tell Taehyung is stripping himself of any remaining clothing he has on. He’s needy, unable to wait any longer to get down to business, he’s already waited long enough.

You’re the one who breaks the kiss this time, too curious to see what he’s sporting down below for your own good. But you are not disappointed once you see it – he’s long and girthy; the pigment a shade or two darker from his skin tone than the rest of his body.  Your thoughts are wandering, wondering what it's like to have him inside of you; dreaming about what he feels like. Arousal pools at your core, mouth salivating as your daydreams linger.

“Like what you see?” Taehyung chuckles. You barely notice that you’ve been staring, eyes wide and focused on the hardened dick before you, which is probably a bit uncomfortable for him. 

“Sorry!” You cringe at yourself lightly, covering your eyes in embarrassment in fear that you just ruined the mood you’ve worked too hard to create.

“Don’t apologize,” he smiles as he grabs your wrists, moving them away from your round eyes. Scrunching your nose in displeasure, you catch your lip in between your teeth, mentally face palming at how weird you’re being.

He couldn’t blame you though, it was taking everything in him not to gawk at you. It was the first time you’ve seen each other naked. Bathing suits did little for your imagination, not that you had even thought about Taehyung this way before.

But he eases your nerves by coming down face level with you, reaching for your shirt and pulling it up over your head. You look at him with wide eyes, taking in each part of him as he caresses your body gently. He’s in awe of you like this. So relieved that you’re finally his, that he has you like this.

Nimble fingers dance down your body, landing at your core as he runs one up your slit, collecting your arousal on his fingertip. An impressed smirk grows slowly on his face, “I can’t believe you’re this wet already,” he hums. “All for me.” 

His eyes remain focused on your center, devouring it with his eyes as his hands hold steady on your thighs. You can’t help but grow slightly embarrassed, dripping with arousal so early on though he’s barely touched you. A lump forms in your throat causing you to swallow thickly – this doesn’t go unnoticed by Taehyung.

A concerned expression crosses his face, brow furrowing as he moves his hands upward to settle on your waist. “Hey,” his voice is soft, gentle and full of worry, “everything okay?” 

“Just nervous,” you answer, a fake smile showing on your face to try and combat your own emotions.

It is no secret that Taehyung is a bit more experienced than you are in bed. He knows that, you know that, and that is enough to turn you into a nervous wreck. Leave it to your own thoughts to ruin the moment.

“We don’t have to…”

“No!” Your voice comes out a little too eager, a bit loud, shocking Taehyung. His eyes widen in response, body jolting from the impact of your tone. “No,” you say more gently this time, “I want to.”

You did want to – you just have to get over your own nerves first. Luckily, Taehyung didn’t mind and was willing to guide you through it.

With a reassuring smile plastered across his face, he laces his fingers through yours. As you lock eyes, you nod him onward, giving him the go-ahead to continue. He moves languidly, his fingers moving back down to trace your slit once more. The sensation makes you tense, the nerves tingling through your body making it difficult for you to calm down. 

But with a reassuring squeeze of his hand to yours, you’re taking a deep breath. Closing your eyes as you lie your head backwards onto his pillowcase. The smell of him consumes you, relaxing you effectively as his fingers meet the entrance of your core.

Shivers run through your body as he dips one finger inside. Your arousal acts as a natural lube, letting his finger glide gracefully into you. You gasp at the sensation, eyes rolling back into your head as he begins caressing your walls. His finger moves swiftly in and out of your core, his other hand still locked with yours to guide you through.

With your body finally relaxing, Taehyung is able to add another finger into the mix. The extra pressure makes you shudder for a moment, taking a little to adjust to the greater size inside of you. Thankfully the mild discomfort subsides, and he’s able to pump his fingers in and out once more. 

He’s making sure to watch each of your expressions, growing harder and harder just from watching your face contort in bliss. With each of his movements you bite down harder onto your lip, focusing on him and him only. 

“You’re doing so well,” he praises as his thumb rubs circles over your hand soothing you. You can feel your heart swell at his words, heat beginning to rise to your cheeks. 

In one swift motion, Taehyung begins to separate his fingers, stretching your walls as his digits move in scissor-like motions inside you. “Fuck,” you mumble, hips jutting forward in reaction. 

A steep moan leaving your lips as he brings his fingers back together, just to extend them once more. Your body is quickly getting used to the pressure, begging for more as you roll your hips.

He can sense that you’re eager from your movements alone. With one final squeeze, his hand is leaving yours. The empty feeling in your palm is unpleasant. But once you open your eyes and notice he’s using it to palm himself, his fingers groping around his length and beginning to pump slowly, that empty feeling is replaced with something else. 

Your mouth salivates with desire, hungry for the feeling of him inside of you. He’s aroused you enough, and you’re too eager to feel him for your own good.

“Taehyung,” you moan, “fuck me please.”

His cock jumps in reaction to your words, his chest heaving as his breath catches in his throat. Never in his life did he expect to hear those words come out of your mouth – but he wouldn't mind hearing it again.

“Hmm?” He hums, knowing damn well what you said but being greedy enough to pretend that he didn’t. You whine in response, your legs shaking on the bed in a mini temper-tantrum.

“Please,” you drag out, “please fuck me.”

Your words are music to his ears. He removes his fingers from your dripping cunt, grabbing the backs of your knees to pull you closer to him and hike your legs up over his hips.

“Anything for you.”

Complying to your wish, he lines the tip of his cock up with your entrance. The feeling of his smooth head against your core is enough to make you moan, your head thrown back to expose the soft skin of your neck.

Taehyung takes this as an opportunity to leave his own mark behind, leaning down to attach his lips to your skin. You gasp as his teeth graze your skin, his plump lips sucking harshly before his tongue is swiping over the area to soothe it. 

But your eyes open once he’s beginning to pull away to look at you. His eyes are dark, full of lust mixed with adoration, a sigh of relief leaving his chest as he gazes down at you under him. There’s a lot going on in his head right now. Of all the emotions swirling around, the thing he’s most focused on is how lucky he is to have you.

And before you know it, he’s leaning down. Pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, making you smile. One more kiss is left on your forehead before he's pulling back, securing the position of your legs on his hips. 

And then he’s realigning himself with your core, pushing past your entrance and slowly descending into the depths of your pussy. He’s moving slowly, taking his time as he thrusts into you. The delicious stretch is unfamiliar, but it's not uncomfortable – like you were made just for him. A simultaneous groan leaves your lips as he bottoms out, the tip of his cock pressing deep into you on a spot that’s gone untouched. 

He hums a sigh of contempt before pulling back, only to rock his hips into you once again. Your velvety walls welcome him delightedly, soft whimpers leaving your lips once he bottoms out again.

“Y/N,” your name leaves his lips in a low grunt, the bones of his pelvis driving into your skin as he begins to pick up his pace. In reaction you clench down on him, orgasm beginning to loom overhead with each movement of his hips.

Desire fills your senses as you roll your hips over to meet his thrusts. His movements are slow and intentional, making sure to bottom out each time to watch you squirm over his dick. He loves how your jaw drops each time his tip presses against your g-spot, knowing just when he hits it each time.

Taehyung’s teeth are barred, sweat gathering at his brow as his dark fluffy hair sticks to his face. He’s trying to hold himself back, the overwhelming urge to finish just in reach, but he doesn’t want to stop. So his hands roam your body to try and distract him, his palms caressing up the sides of your torso as your back bridges into him. The feeling of hot breath fans over your face with each sigh he lets out. 

But the tightening knot in your stomach is threatening to snap with every movement of his hips. It's getting harder and harder to hold on with the power of his thrusts growing stronger.

“Taehyung,” you whine, “so close” your hands find his back, fingernails dragging down his spine in attempts to ground yourself. Taehyung’s face contorts as your nails pierce his skin, leaving lines of red scratches down the length of his posterior.

The stretch from his length and his rhythmic motions sends your senses into overdrive. Squeezing your eyes shut and grasping onto the sheets underneath you, you can taste the brink of your orgasm. Taehyung is focused; his grip on your thighs strong and his face contorted with bliss. But all you can think about is how stupid you could have been if you had decided to just cut him out. What matters is that you’re here with him now, and the thought of that is enough to push you over the edge. 

Your breath hitches in your throat, stomach twisting and turning as your pussy throbs repeatedly around his member. Emotions running high, three words almost slip past your lips, but with the small amount of strength you can muster up, you hold them back. Another time, some time that isn't so lust filled like this one.

Taehyung’s thrusts are growing sloppy. His grip on your legs tightening as his lip is caught between his teeth. And with just a few quick thrusts, he’s coming undone inside of you. White, hot spurts of cum paint your walls, filling you up and making you feel so unbelievably full. 

You’ve always felt close to Taehyung – he knew everything about you and vice versa; but this time was different. The way his hands settled on your legs, bringing them down gently after finishing. How his eyes are becoming so soft as he looks at you, a lazy grin pulling at his lips. You’ve never felt closer to Taehyung as you do in the moment. As his body collapses next to yours, pulling you in and holding you close as you recover from your highs, you’re completely at peace.

“Sorry I got carried away, I guess I should have asked if you’re on birth control still,” he laughs, burying his face into the crook of your neck. 

“I am,” you chuckle alongside him.

Your naked bodies tangle together, his leg weaving its way through yours to be as close to you as possible. He’s intoxicated by you, closing his eyes as he rests against your body in complete bliss. Now that he has you this close he never wants to let go; and neither do you.

“Can I tell you something?” His voice is soft, whisper like but still confident. His tone doesn’t falter.

“Anything.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

Butterflies erupt in your tummy, your heart thudding in your chest as heat rises to your cheeks. He loves you. It's not that friendship kind of love anymore; it's the relationship kind. The same kind that makes your heart skip a beat and body riddle with every emotion in the book. The kind that keeps you up all night thinking about – but also helps you fall asleep, knowing he’ll be there in the morning.

And all of a sudden it seems so stupid that you were fighting those words back in the heat of the moment just a few minutes ago. He felt it too, you always knew that.

“I love you, Taehyung.”

Crush culture once made you want to spill your guts. Every guy sucked, relationships were stupid and love was a social construct that you didn’t feel like conforming to. There was absolutely no one that you would waste your time on, until Taehyung came around. What you had been looking for your entire life has always been right in front of your eyes – you were just too dumb to see it.

Maybe love is alright, after all.

‘Crush Culture’ is copyright 2020 @parksfilter, all rights reserved. Please do not repost on any platform or translate without permission.

[armysantiny]

Ateez Headcanon; Their s/o is a fantasy nerd.

Pairing: Ot8 x gender neutral reader

Genre: fluff, fantasy (kinda), headcanon

Includes: movies, tv shows, merch, movie nights, playthroughs, gifts,

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: n/a

Rating: PG

Networks: @kwritersworld​, @kdiarynet​, @kpopscape​, @ultkpopnetwork​, @kpopcontentcreatorsclub​, @k-dinernet​, @lovesick-net​, @whipped-kpop-creators​, @kafenetwork​, @8makes1teamnet​, @ateezlovenet​

Taglist: @teeztheflag​ | Taglist form

An: I had so much fun writing this! Members under the cut!

홍중 (Hongjoong)

Literally so invested

When he sees the sparkle in your eyes as you explain the lore, his heart is doing flips I tell you.

How hadn’t you told him sooner?

Doesn’t say a word while you talk, only going “Mhm~” with stars in his eyes.

If it’s a videogame, or a roleplaying game like D&D, he will practically beg you to give him a crash course in what to do.

“Are you sure you want to learn how to do this Joongie?”

“Mhm! I wanna learn, it looks fun! Just teach me the basics for now~”

Supportive boyfriend right here.

Will look up playthroughs and explanations of the lore in his own time to get a better understanding.

If he knows a little more, than it can be something the both of you enjoy!

If it’s a franchise like LoTR or something similar, he’ll definitely put the movies on when it’s movie night.

Cue Joong asking you about your favourite and least favourite parts about the franchise.

If there are any spin-off titles, he’ll ask if you recommend watching them too.

May end up becoming a fantasy nerd himself.

Makes you little memorabilia whenever he can.

Honestly loves how large your imagination must be for you to be into fantasy.

성화 (Seonghwa)

He kinda just goes “Woah...” at first.

You think he doesn’t like it; he was sitting there more or less speechless.

When he sees your dejected face, Hwa panics.

Because he does like it, he’s just surprised he hadn’t caught on sooner.

Reassures you that he is interested, and pokes at you to continue talking about it.

Cue several cute interested Hwa sounds

Asks if you have any merch you wanna show him.

He hasn’t told you, but he’s started looking into the franchise for himself.

Might not end up being his taste, but he still keeps a small interest in it.

It was something you were interested in after all.

Chuckles to himself when he sees you really into the series.

Something about you excited about the fantasy franchise you were into was endearing.

Always lends an ear to your theories and headcanons

You surprise him-

He swears you’ve just described an entirely new novel to him.

The headcanon is just that detailed.

Definitely encourages you to try creative writing/design courses to see if you could take your interests further

Asks if you want to create your own fantasy series.

Supportive boyfriend #2 over here~

As long as you’re happy, he’s happy.

윤호 (Yunho)

He’s honestly more excited than you are to be honest

Bounces like a child when you describe the lore to him.

If the stars in his eyes could get any brighter, they would. He is literally the pleading eyes emoji

You mention that you’ve created original characters inspired by the franchise, and he almost pounces on you with even more questions.

Will ask if you’ve created a character based off of himself.

Which you have, and when you show him, he gets even more excited - if that’s even possible.

Will ask you to explain the character’s entire backstory.

Falls in love with you even more - if he even can at that point.

Finds every way possible to have you talk about any and everything fantasy related.

Calls you in the middle of the night to listen to you ramble about your latest character design.

Tells all the members that you’ve created a character about him and boasts about it for months.

You might have another fantasy nerd on your hands now.

여상 (Yeosang)

Kind of a fantasy nerd himself.

So, when you reveal that you’re into fantasy, he kinda goes “Oh? Me too!”

Excited giggles from both of you

Cue fantasy themed date nights...you cuties

Curled up in a blanket together with a load of snacks, watching your favourite movies together.

Oh god the theory discussions you two have.

Now you two can call each other at God forbidden times of the night and talk about your favourite series. 

Since he’s the only one who knows, he’s glad only he gets to see that excited grin on your face when you talk about the show.

Low-key starts boasting about it too.

Like, only he can see you when you’re this cute, you know?

You’d take his drones away if he told any of the boys about your fantasy shows, so it becomes your shared little secret~

Buys you cosplay pieces so you can dress up as your favourite character.

Compliments you for days.

Literally so pretty :(

Takes a thousand pictures (Yes, he keeps a set as his background)

He’s already dressed up as Harley Quinn, so he’s more than happy to dress up as one of the major ships.

Especially if it’s your favourite ship too.

Conventions! Omg you’d go to as many conventions as you could together.

Couple goals~

Singing to soundtracks together as you get ready.

Definitely uses it as a way to tease you.

Sees you having a fan moment over a character and pretends to get all pouty.

“Your boyfriend’s right here, but you’re only focusing on them? Fine then...”

Laughs when he sees the blush on your face

Of course, he gets the same treatment from you.

Healthy relationships, we love to see it. Now where do I get this?

산 (San)

Cannot control the absolute look of admiration in his face at all.

Looks at you with all the wonder in the world. His eyes’ sparkle :(

It may sound a little confusing at first to him, but hearing you describe it with so much passion warms his heart.

Asks you to take the plot step-by-step, so he can understand it a little better

Watches some of it when he can, and he can definitely see the appeal

Interesting characters, an entirely different world, no wonder you love it so much.

He has his games, and you already knew about them, so he’s happy he knows about you more, ‘hidden’ interests.

When he heard you ask him not to find it weird after you’re caught having a fan moment, he pouts immediately.

Why would he find it weird that you were a fan of something? He was quite the fanboy himself, after all

Spends a considerable amount of time reassuring you that he doesn’t find your interests or you weird.

No one is feeling insecure about liking a franchise that makes them happy on his watch.

Buys you merch as soon as it releases.

Little excited claps when he sees your reaction.

It soon becomes your favourite merch item and he’s so proud.

Sees you wearing it literally wherever you can

When you invite him to have a movie marathon with you after he finishes his schedule, San swears he’s head over heels because he agrees without hesitation.

No second thought required

Be prepares to have several more marathons while he asks a million questions at once.

Might have to create a PowerPoint for this cutie. 

민기 (Mingi)

Honestly, he’s kinda lost at first

You kinda have to tell him again and he goes “Oh...I get it!”

Does not get it.

A bit like San, a presentation may be needed at some point.

When he kinda gets it, this baby gets really excited, but he’s almost a little sad.

Because you didn’t tell him until now, you know?

Asks you about the entire main cast, and your favourite character.

Finds you watching your show and quietly sits beside you

He wants to try and understand the plot for himself.

Gets so engrossed, his eyes turn into the pleading eye emoji

He’s so cute, I swear-

Honestly, Mingi finds it so cool that you enjoy fantasy.

“Y/n, can we watch it together from now on? I really like it!”

Yeah, you might end up marrying that man right there and then.

Starts asking you to introduce him to other shows you like that you think he might like as well.

Ends up with a full list and starts watching them all.

I mean all of them

Hell, I think you’ll turn him into a fantasy nerd as well.

Borrows one of your merch hoodies and wears it around the house.

It’s his now :(

Please, he looks so small

You end up buying him a matching hoodie

Refuses to take it off unless he has to.

Listens to all of your fan ravings

Learns about all of your favourite ships.

High-key starts analysing them with you

Yep- you’ve got a fantasy nerd on your hands now, enjoy!

우영 (Wooyoung)

Okay, excited child alert

Another one who literally bounces when you tell him. Gives you puppy eyes for days.

Why didn’t you tell him sooner?

Bugs you constantly about the shows you like and your favourite character.

Which leads him to go on an internet deep-dive (Definitely on Twitter)

He enjoys cooking, so he finds a way to cook the food from the show.

And holy shit it tastes better than you imagined.

Once he sees your reaction, Wooyoung makes it his mission to surprise you with dishes from the show.

Late nights binging your favourite shows together is now a must.

Does kinda laugh a little too loud in your ear, but you’re used to it.

In all truth, you appreciate that he wants to watch it with you

He may be watching it with you, but he also loves seeing your reaction to what’s happening on screen

Please, he thinks you’re the cutest human on earth.

Maybe he takes a picture or two. Maybe

Finds really cute keepsakes from the show while he’s on tour and buys them for you

Takes a picture of them and send them to you with the caption, ‘Look what I got~’

You literally squeal and call him immediately

A proud smile on his face when he hears your voice

You’re rambling thank yous in every language you know and Wooyoung’s there on the other line giggling

Yeah, you’re being spoiled with merch from now on.

Precious baby :(

종호 (Jongho)

Probably has the most neutral response out of all the boys

Kinda just goes, “Oh, that’s cool, fantasy’s really interesting.”

Low-key sounds uninterested, but trust me, he is. Even if it’s just a tad.

Jongho strikes me as the type to not tell you that he’s learning about your favourite show.

You’ll be watching an episode and he walks in, “Oh, [character]’s pairing with [character] is really neat. They wrote them really well.”

“Huh..? How do you know..?”

You thought he wasn’t interested in the show and he giggles at your confusion.

Granted, he isn’t into the idea of fantasy as the others are, but if it’s what makes you happy, it wouldn’t hurt to learn a little about it.

Let’s you take him to conventions and helps you hold the bigger items you struggle with so you don’t drop everything.

Thinks you look amazing in full cosplay.

Lets you experiment on him from time to time.

You get him in some makeup, contacts and give him a prosthetic piece to put over his head.

He thinks he looks pretty good. Might consider trying it again sometime.

He’ll be shopping online and see something.

“Isn’t that from y/n’s favourite..?”

Buys it and surprises you the next time you have a date together.

“Oh? When did you get this? I love it”

“Ah, you know~ I was browsing and it reminded me of you.”

Ends up seeing you take it everywhere

Smiles to himself each time and refuses to tell you why.

Out of all the merch you own, you take the one he bought you with you everywhere

He’s touched.

Doesn’t always pay 100% attention when you’re watching tv together, but enough that he’s aware of the plot line, but not the finer details.

You may not have convinced him to be a fan, but you have turned your boyfriend into a casual watcher.

[berryberryrad]

𝙨𝙛𝙬 𝙖𝙡𝙥𝙝𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙩⚡️

.

shino aburame, sfw alphabet prompt

if this comes across as ooc, literally hit me pls. I’m usually kiba biased, but something about shino has just been hitting different recently.

warnings: blatant abuse of grammar and punctuation. cursing. i’m no writer, i just tell it like i see it. I wrote this on mobile and am not a tech guru so I wish I could do the fancy little, “keep reading,” bit but I’m

word count, 3983

.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

we’ve all come to the generalized conclusion that the aburame clan aren’t handsy. shino falls in line with this, and pda or even private interactions that involve skin to skin contact aren’t going to be his forte. I can see him holding hands, or the aspect of interlocking pinkies with this boy while you’re both reading or walking throughout the woods just has me weak in my knees. a more common way shino would express himself by ways of affection would be listening; absorbing every word you have to give and then offering up the information he’s collected later to show that he does hang onto your every word. he does so subtly, remembering things that you mentioned favoring seemingly offhandedly but in reality he wants you to feel as seen as you make him feel. someone give him a kind smile right now

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

shino’s so quick to throw around the, “I’m not sure I have any friends,” card when kiba inuzuka literally exists— the audacity of this man. team 8? the bond the three of them have outdoes friendship. the loyalty. the camaraderie. the attitude. i get whiplash from their personalities interacting, and i love every minute of it. the bluntness of shino can come across as rude disposition, however it all comes a place of well intent. he speaks his mind, and he speaks the truth. all of it. having shino aburame as a friend would mean you could easily find calm grounds to stand upon. he’d offer words of harsh wisdom, whether you ask for them or not. he sees the best in people even behind his quiet demeanor, and has loyalty oozing out of him. good boy, 10/10 wanna be his best friend.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

can i be self-indulgent for .6 seconds: imagine how w a r m shino is. it had to be said.

anyways, aburame clan: not particularly touchy. we talked about this. however there would come times where shino would hold your hand. it was a practice you initiated, and he quickly caught onto. when you walk through the forest together, he’ll send his bugs out to take a quick peek around before interlocking your fingers silently. he’ll be nervous the first time, but eventually is confident enough to make the move without any plaguing hesitation.

I could go on and on about hand holding because I’m a simple girl, but we gotta get to the goods.

cuddling? with shino aburame? a prize that I want to win. you. bug boy. sitting side by side, chatting about slice of life oddities— you put your head on his shoulder. okay little baddie, we see you: he very carefully presses his head onto the top of yours. shoulder to shoulder, his cheek resting in your hair. you never stop talking about your day, and he never stops you. it feels so natural and easy. c o z y. I’m soft.

you don’t spoon, you want to see his face when he lights up with facts about entomology. when you reach that state in your relationship, you lay side by side and play with his fingers, or he draws lazy patterns on your wrist.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

he’d love to settle down wtf. he’d want to keep a romantic partner close, but even platonically— shino’s in it for the long haul.

he may be bug boy, but he’s also a clean boy. right? like okay his hair may be a bit unkept, and his room is definitely littered with sketches of insects and books here and there. but they’re organized in a way that makes sense to him. he can immediately find whatever he needs whenever he needs it, and that doesn’t make him unclean. when it comes to his insects, he keeps them tucked away with precision. each is labeled and jarred away probably alphabetically, idk, that just feels right to me.

cooking is something that can be accomplished in theory. a recipe can be read and executed, but that’s as far as it goes with shino. don’t expect much creative flare, the aburames are known bug enthusiasts, not ramen curators. the most spontaneity you can hope for is perhaps a pinch of salt on your eggs in the morning. if it’s not in the recipe, it’s not happening. he’s a boy of many talents, cooking is barely one of them.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

i don’t even wanna entertain shino breaking my heart—

good thing he’s breaking yours

shino wouldn’t let a platonic relationship go far enough into a romantic status unless he was without a doubt that you were someone he could trust and hold close to his person. honestly I’d say you’d have to be the one to break up with him if you managed to get far enough in. but if he had to break up with you? he’d have the briefest moment of hurt before setting it out all on the table. once his mind is made up, it’s over. he’s not one to dance around the point. you probably won’t even have to ask why. he’ll tell you without prompting.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

oh shino has no problem committing his life to you, after you’ve been together for a very long time that is. marriage isn’t the forthcoming thought pressing into his conscious. it’d be something you had to mention in passing to him to let him know you were interested. to shino, he recognizes your relationship as it is: a relationship. your partners for better or worse, he doesn’t think a marriage certificate has any true significance in the way you share feelings for one another.

but you’d like a wedding? okay, no qualms. he’d want to wait a few years, and the atmosphere of the village would to have to fair calm, but he wouldn’t mind a small ceremony. when he tilts your head back and kisses you to seal the deal, kiba faints.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

sorry I was just checking the time, seems to me like it’s, “soft boy hours.”

I want you to know right now that shino aburame hangs onto every word you say with such fervor, it’s just darling okay? emotionally, when you’ve established that you plan on playing an active role in his life, he’s so doting. asks you short and simple questions about your day. offers advice on your woes. let’s you interact with his bugs— because he trusts you. and you better offer him the same love and respect back. I have this whole thing about him receiving cheek kisses. he eats that shit up okay, but silently with a blush crawling up his neck and wrapping around his ears. pinky holding— hullo. that’s the gentlest thing homies can do.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

maybe he hugs you first. that’s wild, but it keeps you on your toes. you held his hand first, yes, but that night when he accompanies you home you stand nearly toe to toe. you haven’t released hands yet, and he’s overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude to someone who has lent an ear to him with no ulterior motives other than quality time. it’s strangely second nature to him as he wraps a fast arm around your waist, crushing your held hands between your bodies. you’re taken aback, obviously, but before you can even share a proper moment in the same space he’s retreating back into his stoic persona and wishing you a good night.

shino hugs with his whole body, and my favorite version of this would be him wrapping his arms around your shoulders as your crushed into his shoulder. love it. he doesn’t hug often, cherish the ones he shares with you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

shino, ever the one to speak his mind, let’s you know he loves you immediately when it occurs to him. I’m not quite sure when this is, but you’ve been apart of his life for a long time without a doubt. you make him feel safe, seen, and he is sure he can trust you. you probably ask him a question about like the process through which butterflies migrate or whatever, I’m not clever enough to think of insect related questions, but after he gets done explaining and you’ve got this thoughtful expression on your face he just blatantly says it. it’s so matter of fact and without any doubt that you have to blink for a moment before sharing the sentiment. it’s not awkward. there’s not any fanfare or roses involved. it’s the truth, and you’re both quietly over the moon about it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

shino and jealousy don’t necessarily exist in the same realm. he’s not going to entertain someone he can’t trust, that’s just a given. and if he did have any doubt in his mind you were pursuing something romantic from another, he’d simply send one of his bugs to investigate the situation. if it proved to be true, he’d confront you on it. if he’s misunderstood the circumstances then he can admit it, but if he hasn’t then he’ll make it apparent to you very quickly he doesn’t appreciate what you’ve been doing.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

soft, goodnight.

okay so like forehead kisses, right? forehead kisses by shino>>>>

i will die on this hill, don’t test me.

shino kisses softly and with purpose, there is nothing he does without meaning. it’s a press of his lips to your forehead before leaving for a mission, it’s brushing your lips together in the moonlight, it’s pushing the pads of your fingers against his mouth when you’re upset. I’m a hopeless romantic and there’s only so many euphemism for kissing, so take what you’re given. shino isn’t experienced in tonsil surfing, so you’ll have to bear with him. it’s something that relies less on textbook skill and moreover on feeling and primal intuition, something he does have so he’s not completely clueless. like i said, forehead kisses are a go to and idk if I’ve mentioned you giving shino cheek kisses but for the love of god, please opt to. he eats that shit up, you gotta.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

kurenai herself made note of how well shino interacts with kids, and I have never known kurenai to be wrong so it’s been decided. shino? amazing with kids. the scene between him and mirai? shino giving a piggy back ride? goodnight y’all, imma clock out.

and he eventually becomes sensei badass okay, like he can handle himself amongst a child or two. as far as having his own children I think he’d do well with one. shibi and shino share the classic aburame relationship: mutual understanding and appreciation of one another’s existence, and i can see him sharing that with his own child and then some. he spent the better part of his own childhood in solitude. it was in tandem sought out and forced upon him. big boy perks. he’d want his child to not only embrace their aburame side, bugs and all— but also to feel confident and extroverted enough to branch out and make interpersonal relationships

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

imagine being a morning person. I mean shino doesn’t have to, but it couldn’t be me. shino’s up before dawn breaks, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and pressing his glasses into his nose before he even opens his eyes. rise and shine. if you’ve been sleeping beside him, he’ll cast a long look you’re way, admiring your still figure before standing and beginning his day quietly so as not to wake you. he lets you sleep as long as you wish unless you instruct otherwise. sometimes you ask him to wake you when he wakes himself. you always regret it because why the fuck is he awake, the crickets are still outside doing god knows what. he thinks the ambiance of an early morning is peaceful, and it sets his person in ease.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

can we all just take a moment to appreciate the grand outdoors and how precious it would be to have shino watching you fondly ogle at fireflies in the middle of a field. like arms crossed with a gentle smile behind his collar as you open mouth grin and point because he absolutely asks them to do something impressive just to see you in awe.

nights are spent outside staring up at the sky. in a tree? on the ground? in the park? in the middle of the woods? who cares, time with shino is time well spent.

if it’s raining then that’s tough, I guess y’all will just have to have a night in. sometimes you play shogi, and you don’t complain when he lets you win despite you showing no true skill for the game. he doesn’t mind.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

oh shino won’t reveal anything haha. well not on purpose. see I know I’ve gone on and on about shino being so attuned to you and what you have to say, but you have to show him equal attention and devotion to get a good read of him. anything personal that can be taken from him is conveyed so subtly you’ll miss it if you’re not paying attention. he’ll answer any question you ask, however if you get too personal too fast he’ll slyly avoid the question

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

not easily angered, moreover easily annoyed. while shino may not be on shikamaru’s level of strategical advances, he does have a pretty good sense of how things should be completed. it’s usually the way that benefits the most people and accomplishes the goal with as little room for error as possible. when things stray off from the how he envisioned them, I see him getting a little irritated. I think the time he’s spent with kiba has aided in this conclusion, and he isn’t as easily moved to a pissy nature as he once was, but I think the sullen nature still translates across if things fail to go his way because in his mind, it’s the most logical path.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

broken record alert: he’s a good listener. it’s both a strategic move to manipulate situations because he’s become so good at reading people, and his own unique love language. it’s the juxtaposition of words of affirmation; he shows he cares by ways of empathy and action. it’s stoic empathy, but empathy nonetheless. he remembers everything you tell him, and everything you don’t. on missions when you two are parted, his thoughts are sometimes clouded with images of the way your mouth arches when you laugh, or the soft smell of you lingering on his coat after you hugged him goodbye.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

when you let him go on and on about his insects and you seem genuinely interested. so often do people put up with shino’s knack for bugs out of politeness or to just let him fill the silence— but you ask questions. you seem intrigued with any word that falls from his lips and you’re quick to quip back with facts you’ve dug up on your own. you’re curious about what shino is so attuned with, and he is so excited to have someone to educate who wants to learn. you’ll go on small adventures to locate bugs to breed or to simply watch, and it’s at these moments when you’re both silent and poised over a poisonous beetle with a respective jar and net that he remembers fondly when you’re both parted.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

well he’s already sworn to protect the village, so initially it’s on that basis. his duty is to do whatever he can to keep the residents of the hidden leaf secure, but with you he keeps a bit more of a watchful eye available. he isn’t paranoid or overly protective, however on days his mind is uneasy, shino has no qualms sending a beatle to hover your person. it’s just a security measure, nothing to write home about.

you keep shino protected from his inner turmoils. hinata and kiba can only reassure him so much, but shino has developed the habit of writing them off. they’re just his teammates, they have to put up with him. however you have no personal ties to him really. you stick around on your own accord, and this boosts his self esteem immensely. you put his mind at ease and make note to remind him daily that the members of team eight are an excellent unit and that he needs to give kiba and hinata more credit because they both care about him as well. akamaru too, woof woof dummy. accept the love.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

shino’s not a man of many words, and when he does spit fire, it’s calculated and can come across as blunt assertion. you’ll come to put up with it, but he can come to understand he can be a bit overbearing in this aspect. so as I’ve expressed, words of affirmation aren’t his love language (though don’t put it past him to whisper sweetness into your ear when you’re both alone: that would be lovely.)

he expresses himself through gifts, awe. shino won’t present you with precious jewels or money as means of affection. no, the gifts are moreover practical. a book you had been pining after, a scarf to keep you warm in the upcoming months, things of that nature. he also collects rocks, we can collectively agree on that as a community right? he’ll share them with you, encouraging you to begin your own arsenal of rocks that entertain no one but are a sweet gesture— thanks shino.

dates are long walks when he as spare time. he doesn’t mind if they’re silent or if you fill the space with your own daily narrative. you’ll both trade useless dialogue and he likes it. it’s a sense of normalcy for him.

he doesn’t try particularly hard in any sense, but he doesn’t need to. time spent with shino is delightfully casual in both of your lives, please don’t mind it.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

what if shino picks his nails, awe.

he’s a wonderful, brilliant little creature: but he has a habit of writing off people who clearly care about him. you’ve gotta take a little energy into reassuring him from time to time. he won’t outwardly mope in this mentality, but sometimes he seems a little off and it will fall on your shoulders to assist him

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

mans only lets like 3% of his face be shown for the better part of the series and then decided that a visor and top knot were gonna be his debut look in boruto, he is n o t the one to look to for fashion advice, and this is coming from someone who simps so hard for shino aburame like he’s lowkey giving kiba a run for his money at this point but like come on

as far as his s/o goes i know the prompt didn’t ask but he doesn’t mind what his s/o particularly looks like. it’s a personality game baby, let’s go

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

shino’s written as a loner, and he doesn’t particularly mind that status but a friend every now and then is never unwelcome. he deserves to be appreciated, and while he may not outwardly show that he receives the appreciation in good spirits, you can rest assured he does. having a partner would be pleasant, no doubt, and he would love having someone by his side to call a best friend (and eventual partner) however shino’s existence isn’t completely codependent on another half. he can exist on his own with just the company of his bugs with no true remorse. he does feel lonely at times, but he’s got the squad of the hidden leaf backing him up. he’ll make it through

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

blush bug boy shino = a happy bee (‘s me, I’m bee)

the headcannons where stoic blunt hardass shino is an inexperienced nervous boy eat me alive. man’s is a shinobi who has faced peril and nearly suffocates when you hold his hand for the first time? imma head out, i love it

he’s also always early to things? yes please? early is on time, on time is late, and late means call an ambulance, something super not cool has gone down

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

if you don’t like bugs, you have to evacuate the dancefloor. I’m not saying you have to be the president of the, “insects are the superior race,” committee. to enjoy something and appreciate something from a distance both can weigh evenly on a scale in this instance. if you’re a bug enthusiast, kudos. he’ll love spending time showing off his collection to you with a slightest hint of pride coloring his tone. if you’re the type of person to be afraid of insects, he can deal with that as well. most people are, and he recognizes it comes from misunderstanding. if you are willing to give the bugs a chance and overcome your phobia, you’ve won him over.

wouldn’t like an over the top ditzy person. he needs you to have some sense of self preservation and common sense. shino does not put up with tom foolery and he would make that apparent to you very quickly.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

can I head cannon that he just becomes unhinged in his sleep? can we get behind that? like shino may begin the night tucked in with his hands clasped over his abdomen, but that is n o t how he finds himself in the morning. as a shinobi, he’s a light sleeper. fair play. but light sleepers toss and turn too, and I like to imagine him waking up discombobulated. face down, open pressed into his pillow, arms doing what they will, hair in disarray. magnificent. a pen drops and he wakes immediately, and is up before you can truly assess what you’ve just seen of the normally so put together aburame.

he knows he’s an active sleeper, ‘s why he gets up at 4am. that’s his business