#there is also a cameo of the new avengers team! yay!

[oluka]

Even when broke and living in an old depot, Tony still has the time to help Betsy Braddock out and fence with her. Also, he's really upbeat for someone whose life is in shambles. I'll interpret this as him putting up a front and ignoring his own problems to help others. I also like that Captain Britain went specifically to him to ask for Avengers help :D

Betsy Braddock: Captain Britain #4

[ooops-i-arted]

I'm dead mando episode killed me (would love to hear your thoughts on it from my grave)

I am dead with you IT WAS SO GOOD AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT.  My sister and I were literally bouncing on the couch and screaming at the tv.

Okay this is what I have wanted THE ENTIRE TIME.  Din & Baby bonding time, plot stuff is centered around Din & the baby, cameos are super cool but don’t overwhelm Din being the main character, preestablished characters unique to the show being used.  This.  Not Filoni making Yet Another Version Of His TCW Stuff.

The opening scene of Din and Baby was PRECIOUS.  They’re both clearly so reluctant to do this but Din has Promised and more importantly, he wants to do what’s best for his kid even if it means separating from him.  Prioritizing someone else’s needs over your wants is true love HE’S SUCH A GOOD DAD

Din being such a fucking dumbass in this episode damn.  Din ilu but where is your jetpack???  Why did you try to get through the Force barrier the exact same way THREE TIMES when you knew it wouldn’t work and after it had knocked you unconscious???

Protective Din fuck yeah

I’m actually thrilled with the kidnapping because it’s RAMPAGE TIME YAY

WHEN SLAVE I APPEARED MY SISTER AND I WERE SCREAMING

Cuz you know who it is and there was The Suspense!!! over whether they were working for Gideon or would they truly ally with Din

HOLY SHIT BOBA FETT BOBA FETT BOBA FETTTTTTTTTT

Although I was also laughing bc I’m pretty sure this is the first time we’ve ever seen him actually be a badass onscreen instead of just standing around looking cool

Yes I know he did more in Legends/EU content and probably in the 3D TCW but I’d never been interested in either of those or him as a character before, but okay NOW I see why people are into him

("Boba Fett?  Boba Fett?  WHERE” is still my favorite Boba moment tho, and a top favorite Han moment)

“I’m just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

NO ONE EVER WANTS TO ACKNOWLEDGE AOTC EXCEPT TO MAKE SAND JOKES BUT FINALLY, FINALLY AOTC IS BACK AND AS A PERSON WHO UNAPOLOGETICALLY LOVES AOTC I AM SO HAPPY

Also Jango has always been my favorite Fett so I was LIVING for him being acknowledged and especially by Boba

Fucking howling at Din apparently feeling he is the only person in the entire galaxy who can decide Who Gets Beskar

Like the SHEER GALL from a meta perspective of looking at Boba Fett, the Orignial Mandalorian of all of Star Wars, and saying “Yeah I’m not sure if you should have that armor”

Like Din will happily be chill with anyone he meets who doesn’t immediately kill him but if you have Mandalorian armor you need to bring out your receipts immediately lmao

This is what I wanted with other Mandalorian characters coming in though.  Contrasting and comparing others’ Mandalorian cultures/sects/whatever with his and Din having to reexamine his own beliefs with it.  With Bo-Katan we got like two lines about it but here it’s A Thing that’s discussed, plus some Boba background, and Din comes to face his own biases and ultimately decide that yes, Boba should get the armor even if he doesn’t follow the Creed the same way Din does.  Plus the contrast between Din and Boba’s Mandalorian Experiences but also the uniting thread of Mandalorians Really Love Dads.

Anyway the Fetts are Real Mandalorians again as far as I’m concerned.  I have spoken.

Fennec Shand!!  I couldn’t believe they WASTED Mulan herself in The Gunslinger and this made me so happy!!  She’s such a badass and an excellent side character and I loved seeing her again, and it’s really cool that she and Boba teamed up?  That’s a backstory I wouldn’t mind seeing in a tie-in comic or novel or something.

As a SWTOR fan I loved seeing Tython brought to life.  Since SWTOR was 3000 years ago it makes sense there’s little left, but the stone thing was cool.  I wonder what the runes mean?  Although my sister and I were laughing over how much Tython apparently looks like California.

I know I already said it but Din getting yeeted and trying to get through the barrier three times was great

Also why tf aren’t you shouting “Grogu!” instead of just “kid” after we know Grogu likes hearing his name???

WHEN THE BABY WAS KIDNAPPED I TOTALLY DIED THE CONCEPT ART EVEN HAS HIM CRYING OH MY GOD

We all know Din was crying under his helmet for at least 50% of this episode

Gideon is SUCH a good slimy villain, so creepy and chilling (and he got STYLE), I absolutely loved his villain monologue even if it’s delivered to.....a baby.  Even if we’re getting some hints that Grogu is possibly more developed than previously indicated by his behavior, Gideon’s still delivering his Evil Speech to a toddler which is amazing

YO WOW WE NEED TO TONE DOWN THE DARK SIDE TENDENCIES THERE GROGU

Like usually he just has A Big Moment but this time he just goes buck wild with those poor troopers.  Plus we’re so used to seeing him little and innocent and cute so it was very jarring (in the best way)

Despite the seriousness of the situation I fucking lost it at the Baby Handcuffs.  Like who had to order those?  Which poor peon was ordered by Gideon CRAFT ME BABY HANDCUFFS?  Were they custom made?  They’re so tiny!!  Baby commits Baby Crimes and goes to Baby Jail

THEY SHOT THE BABY.  I DON’T CARE IF IT WAS A STUN BLAST THEY SHOT HIM

Mayfeld?????  Why?????  I really hope Din takes Cara along too.  I’m loving this Avengers Assemble thing again, although I definitely want Greef and Cara along as opposed to any of the other Guest Stars we met this season

(Frog Lady can come though, she’s cool)

Maybe Cara’s New Republic ties will help?  Not quite sure how but that’s a cool thread they could use.  Again since she’s a big secondary character on the show, and unique to the Mandalorian, she’s one I’d love to see more development with as well - what made her decide to rejoin the New Republic?  Will this cause conflict between her and Din in the future?  etc.

Like this is what I’ve been craving, it was so suspenseful and good, I cannot WAIT for what’s next!!!

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: Avengers Endgame

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where Today We Are Continuing Our Look At The Marvel Cinematic Universe...

And Today We Are Looking At The Big One...Yep, We're Finally Here...Avengers Endgame...

This Film Sees The Grave Course Of Events Set In Motion By Thanos That Wiped Out Half Of The World And Fractured The Avengers And Guardians Of The Galaxy's Ranks Compels The Remaining Members To Take One Final Stand...

Will They Succeed?

Let's Find Out As We Watch Avengers Endgame...

The Film Starts On The Barton Family Farm As We See Clint Barton Still Under House Arrest, Training His Daughter, Lila To Maybe Become The Next Hawkeye...

Yeah Right, We Know That Kate Bishop Is Most Likely Going To Be In The Disney + Series...

While His 2 Sons Play A Game Of Catch And His Wife Velma Dinkley Prepares A Picnic But As He Talks To His Wife For A Second Barton Turns Back To Not Only Find His Daughter Gone But His Wife And Some Too As They're Now Casualties Of The Snap Heard Around The World...

3 Weeks Later On Board The Benatar, Tony And Nebula Start To Run Out Of Supplies On The Ship, So He Uses His Iron Man Helmet To Chronicle Their Final Days With The Hope It'll Be Found By Pepper...

However As Tony Goes To Sleep, They Are Saved By Captain Marvel Who Takes Them Back To Earth...

Reunited With Pepper And The Other Avengers, Steve Asks If He Knows Where Thanos Is Only To Erupt Into A Furious Rant Where He Mentions Thanos And Their Civil War Fight Before He Faints...

And Thank God For That, As Anymore Out Of Tony's Mouth And I Would Have Punched Him...

Locating Thanos On An Uninhabited Planet With Help From Nebula, They Discover That While He Has The Gauntlet The Stones Are Missing, Which Leads Him To Explain That They Would Have Been Nothing But A Temptation If He Had Kept Them So, After Serving Their Purpose He Had Them Destroyed...

They Believe Him To Be Lying At First But If There's One Thing Nebula Knows Her Father To Be It's Not A Liar, So Thor Decapitates Him...

Five Years Later, Earth's Remaining Population Attempts To Persevere Against Such Catastrophic Losses But Things Start To Change When Scott Lang Is Released From The Quantum Realm, Disoriented And Confused About What Has Happened...

Visiting A Wall With All The Names Of The People Who Vanished To See If His Daughter's Name Is Among It, Thankfully It Isn't, So Racing To His Ex's House, Scott Discovers That Cassie Has Aged From A Child To A Teenager...

Trying To Make Cassie Stinger A Little Fast There, Marvel?...

Arriving At The Avengers Facility Where He Talks With Cap And Widow, He Explains That He Experienced Five Hours And Not Five Years While Also Talking To Them About The Quantum Realm And How It Could Allow Time Travel...

The Three Visit Tony At His Lakeside Home Where He Lives Now With His Wife Pepper And His Daughter, Morgan Where They Ask Him To Help Them Retrieve The Stones From The Past In An Attempt To Reverse What Thanos Did, But Tony Refuses, Worrying About What Will Happen With His New Life If He Does...

So They Turn To Banner Who During Those Five Years Has Restarted His Research Into Gamma Radiation And Used It To Morph His Body To Have The Appearance And Strength Of The Hulk While Retaining The Intelligence And Control Of Banner Digivolving Into Professor Hulk!

But As For The Quantum Realm, Banner Says That Quantum Physics Is Outside Of His Area Of Expertise But He Agrees To Help Them Try..

Meanwhile At His Lakeside Home, Tony Does Dishes Only To Discover A Photo Of Peter Parker Which Makes Him Change His Mind And Look Into Time Travel And It Turns Out It Is Possible...

Returning To The Avengers Facility The Next Day, Tony Tells Steve That He's Agreeing On The Condition That In Trying To Reverse What Thanos Did It Won't Reset What Has Happened Since Then As He Doesn't Want To Lose His Daughter With Cap Agreeing The 2 Men Set Their Differences Aside And Get To Work...

Banner And Rocket Fly To New Asgard In Norway Which Is Home To The Asgardians That Are Left Including Valkyrie And Korg And Miek Who Survived...

But As For Thor (Who Has Put On A Considerable Amount Of Weight, Become An Alcoholic And Spending Most Of His Time Playing Fortnite)...

I Always Saw Thor As An Overwatch Guy But If That's His Game, Hey I'm For It!...

He Gets Upset At The Mention Of Thanos' Name To The Point That He Wont Go With Banner But When Rocket Mentions Beer, He's In...

Meanwhile In Tokyo...

Barton Who Now Goes By Ronin, Attacks A Group Of Yakuza Only To Be Confronted By Widow Who Wants To Bring Him In, But Wanting Nothing To Do With The Plan At First Barton Eventually Changes His Mind And Goes With Her...

Back At The Avengers Facility, Banner And Stark Complete Construction Of Their Own Quantum Tunnel And Advanced Tech Suits As The Team Prepares For Test Runs With Barton As The Test Subject...

And It Works, Barton Is Sent Back To A Time On His Farm Before The Snap Which Leads Them Into The Next Phase: Determining The Location Of Each Infinity Stone In The Past Which Proves To Be A Problem As They Only Have A Small Supply Of Pym Particles To Do So...

Deciding To Go After The Time, Mind And Space Stones During The Battle Of New York, The Reality Stone On Asgard With Jane Foster, The Power Stone On Morag With Star Lord And The Soul Stone On Vormir...

Their Destinations And Teams Are Set With Tony, Cap, Banner And Scott Going To The Battle Of New York, Nebula And Rhodey Going To Morag, Barton And Widow Going To Vormir And Thor And Rocket Going To Asgard...

Starting With Team 1 With Stark, Cap, Banner And Scott, Banner Visits The Sanctum Sanctorum Where He Meets The Ancient One Who Doesn't Want To Give Him The Stone At First But After Hearing That Strange Gave Thanos The Stone, She Gives It To Banner Realizing That It Must Have Been For A Reason...

Infiltrating Stark Tower In The Aftermath Of The Battle Of New York, Lang Plants Himself Onto The 2012 Tony Stark As Him And The Other 2012 Avengers Head Downstairs Only To Be Confronted By Alexander Pierce Who Wants The Tesseract And Loki...

But Scott Causes A Distraction By Sending 2012 Tony Into Cardiac Arrest Which Leads Our Tony Stark To Get The Tesseract But When 2012 Hulk Bursts In, Past Loki Manages To Get The Tesseract Which He Uses To Escape To His Disney + Series...

But As All That Happens, Cap Manages To Get The Loki's Scepter From Brock Rumlow And Jasper Sitwell Only To Be Confronted By 2012 Cap Who Believes He's Loki...

(Start At 0:16, End At 1:48)

Regrouping With Cap, Tony And Lang Tell Him That They Screwed Up But Tony Realizes That He Knows A Place Where He Can Not Only Get The Tesseract But Pym Particles Too, So Giving Scott The Scepter, Tony And Cap Travel To Camp Lehigh In 1970...

Arriving In 1970, We Get Our Last...Stan Lee Cameo..

Stan Lee Cameo!

A Moment Of Silence For A Great Man...

Splitting Up, Tony Gets The Tesseract In The Place Where Cap And Widow Found Arnim Zola In Winter Solider But While Down There He Runs Into His Father, Howard Who Is Looking For Arnim While Also Talking About The Birth Of His Son Which Is Expected Next Month...

While Talking With Howard, Tony Sees His Father In A Whole New Light And Now Understands What He Went Through Being A Father Himself Now But As Tony Makes Up With His Father, Cap Distracts A Young Hank Pym So He Can Get The Pym Particles Necessary To Return...

So With Everything In Hand Tony And Cap Leave 1970, Which Takes Us To Asgard With Thor And Rocket But As Rocket Gets The Reality Stone, Thor Runs Into His Mom, Frigga, Who Realizes That He's From The Future...

Attempting To Tell Her About Her Soon To Be Coming Death At The Hands Of Malekith, Frigga Doesn't Want To Listen Insisting That Thor Fix His Future Rather Than Hers, So With Rocket Having The Reality Stone In Hand, Thor Reclaims Mijolnir Before Saying Goodbye To His Mom And Leaving...

Now On Morag, Romanoff And Clint Use The Benatar To Fly To Vormir To Get The Soul Stone While Nebula And Rhodey Knock Out Star Lord In A Scene That Ruins One Of The Best Scenes In The Original Guardians Movie...

Thanks Alot Russo Brothers...

And They Get The Power Stone And Rhodey Returns To The Present However, Nebula Becomes Incapacitated When Her Cybernetic Implants Link With Her 2014 Self, Allowing The Thanos Of That Time To Learn About His Future Successes And The Avengers Attempt To Thwart It...

Determined To Rebuild The Universe So No One Will Remember What He Has Done, Thanos Replaces Present Day Nebula With 2014 Nebula As Barton And Widow Arrive On Vormir And Learn The Price That Must Be Paid Which Leads Them To Fight Over Who Will Make The Sacrifice...

Eventually It's Widow That Sacrifices Her Life For The Soul Stone...

Well, I Guess That Black Widow Movie's Not Happening...

O.....Kay...

With Everyone Reuniting In The Present They Are All Saddened At The Loss Of Black Widow But They Realize That They Must Not Let Her Sacrifice Be In Vain And Continue Their Plan...

Creating A Nano Gauntlet To Harness The Stones They All Have A Debate Over Who Will Unsnap Everything But Eventually It's Banner That Does It Because Of His Physical Form And His Relationship With Gamma Radiation...

But Despite Unsnapping Everything, 2014 Nebula Activities The Quantum Tunnel And Brings 2014 Thanos' Ship Into The Future Where It Blows Everything To Kingdom Come...

Yeah, They May As Well Have Done That...

Convincing 2014 Gamora To Help Her, Present Nebula And Her Kill 2014 Nebula After She Refuses To Help Them...

Ok, I Know They Made Their Own Time Travel Rules Here But Seriously, With 2014 Nebula Dead, Future Nebula Should Be Dead As Well...

With The Avengers Separated, With Thor, Tony And Cap Being Up Top So They Decide To Attack Thanos On Their Own But Thanos Outmatches Them And Summons His Army From His Warship, But Luckily They Have An Army Too...

Shortly After That, Captain Marvel Arrives On The Scene And Destroys Thanos' Warship, But Thanos Overpowers Her And Gets The Gauntlet...

And So, With Thanos Defeated, Tony Is Weakened By The Raw Power Of The Stones Before Succumbing To His Injuries After Being Comforted By Pepper...

After Tony's Funeral, Thor Appoints Valkyrie As The New Ruler Of New Asgard As He Joins The Guardians Of The Galaxy...

Only To Not Appear In Guardians Vol.3 But His Only Movie Which Chris Hemsworth Is Only Doing To Wrap Up The Character...

And Cap Returns The Infinity Stones And Mijolnir Back To Their Original Timelines Only To Decide To Stay In The Past With Peggy Carter While Back In The Present An Old Cap Passes On His Shield To Sam Wilson To Tie Into That Disney + Series As Our Film Ends...

While There's No Mid Credits Or End Credits Scene, That Was Avengers Endgame And What Can I Say About It?..

Despite Everyone Being Divided On It, I Absolutely Enjoyed It, The Story Was Interesting, The Characters Were Well Written, I Thought Thanos Was Equally Good Here As He Was In Infinity War. However, Some Of The Time Travel Logistics Kinda Had Me Questioning Things Still Though I Say See It...

Next Week We Finish Our Look At The Marvel Cinematic Universe By Looking At Spider-Man Far From Home, Till Then, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[takaraphoenix]

Movie Review: Avengers Endgame

I’m already tagging it with like four different spoiler tags, but just in case someone who hasn’t gotten to see it yet forgot to block spoilers, review under the cut:

The short of it first: I love this movie. I, however, also hate this movie. There were many wonderful things about it and many things I disliked or that upset me. Overall however, I think the balance made for a perfect ending to the MCU. (Which, makes me feel really weird about the fact that there will be... more MCU.)

Fair warning, this review will not be in any particular order, more like... what comes to mind. Because there was just so much happening in it. So I’ll bolt the particular hero each section will be about, for easier navigation.

First things first, we gotta talk about the time paradox. Look, I know it’s not a plothole, it was very much intentional, they set it up from the moment Bruce met the Anient One, however it still drives me insane that they killed Thanos from 2014 and... it changed nothing in their time.

If Thanos from 2014 is dead, he can never even go and collect the Infinity Stones and this entire reality should cease to exist. The Ancient One’s explanation on how removing something from the past leads to a split timeline makes little sense to me, because it first and foremost should change this timeline.

I know it’s most likely meant to set up the multiverse - the x-Men, it’s going to be used to work in the X-Men, probably also the Fantastic Four. But the lack of explanation as to why changing your own past does not affect your present time was rather... frustrating for me.

Same goes for “Loki escapes punishment in 2012 with the stone”. How did the stone end up in the 70s then? And what impact does this have on the Thor timeline? Will he wreak more havok? Or change to good earlier?

For a movie working the primary angle of time-travel, answers about the paradox created were... too scarce for my taste.

IRON FAMILY

That being said: My Tony Stark stanning ass is absolutely living for the fact that Tony just... solved time-travel in one night, casually, like it’s nothing.

And as such, I gotta talk Tony first, don’t I?

I am now 100% the Tony-Nebula friendship that everyone was expecting after Infinity War and in the reality I will be accepting from hereon out, Nebula and Tony get to stray friends.

Though, a dynamic I did not expect to absolutely love and stan is Rhodey and Nebula! Oh, that was so good. Generally, Rhodey in this movie was so good. He is usually just treated as the add-on to Tony and in this movie, he was... so much more than that and seemed to stand on his own a lot. (Yes, he’s still in this section because he is still part of the Iron Family so sue me.)

At first, I was honestly frustrated that Pepper was just... The Wife And Mother and seemed to have so little... input into things. Like, support, brainstorm along with them, anything. She deserved to be more than that.

I genuinely don’t have an opinion on Morgan. Like, yay, Tony got to be a dad, but also she was just such a generic Child with no defining personality traits, which granted, there was no time in this movie to establish that, but having no time is not an excuse for shortcomings.

What really broke me was Peter though. Peter being the reason Tony invents time-travel, even though it could mean losing Pepper, losing Morgan, losing his own life - Peter is what pushes him over the edge into helping. And then the reunion. The hug, the confusion on Peter’s face. And gods did it wreck me when Peter cried over Tony’s body.

I mean, generally, Tony’s death wrecked me. I’m starting to cry again as I write these words. I fully admit that it was perfect. There is virtually no better way to have Tony Stark go out than by him single-handedly in the most literal way possible saving the entire planet and the universe, with his last line being “I am Iron Man” as he wields the Infinity Stones - seriously, if you watched this movie and still try to post Anti Tony shit, I have to wonder what movies you even watch because this entire damn franchise literally rests on his shoulders, holy shit.

It was... It was the most perfect ending for Tony possible. But I still hate that it ended. I wanted an Ironheart movie where he mentors a potential Riri Williams for the future of the MCU, I wanted Tony cameos in future Spider-Man movies, I... wanted him to get the chance to grow old and see his daughter grow up.

But holy shit that funeral. Everyone. Just... everyone. Even Harley. Which, admittedly, I only figured out after wrecking my brain for an hour trying to figure out who that lanky brunette kid was that stood around alone and then remembering that Harley should have had a cameo in this movie too and--oh. That... that was really a deep dig for the Iron Man stans and I wished it had been a tiny bit more prominent. Like, having him and Peter talk, even just for a brief moment, about Tony, to remind us who Harley is and what those two have in common. That’d have been a nice touch.

TEAM ANT

Scott being the one to come up with time-travel as the solution was kind of hilarious to me, considering he isn’t a scientist and he has never encountered time-travel before. (I mean, Stephen literally introduced time-travel to some of them as a thing that is possible before.)

Legit, one of the two only times I cried in this movie was when Scott searched for Cassie’s name on the memorial and then was reunited with her. Paul Rudd played it so well and so heavy with emotions, it was amazing.

Hope, well, due to having been dusted, she got a shorter end of the stick. Which, in itself, should not make me salty because obviously did the dusted ones not play a huge part in the movie - but the fact that she was dusted to begin with, seriously, they dusted more female characters than they did male characters and there are already so few female characters and I am still salty that in a movie called Ant-Man and the Wasp it was entirely about one Wasp getting un-fridged just to then have them kill off two Wasps.

I have to admit, I have a certain saltiness that while Hank got a cameo in the 70s, Janet again was not deemed important enough. She got a non-speaking role to just... stand there during Tony’s funeral. That’s it.

TEAM CAP

Steve. Gotta admit, this movie brought me back to St0ny. Civil War completely killed that ship for me, but I really, truly loved how they worked Steve and Tony together again in this movie. From the first confrontation when the ship lands, to Tony screaming at Steve in the compound and them then slowly rekindling again. Because the emotional outburst was needed and deserved and had it not come, something would have felt... cheap.

I’m not sure how I feel about how they solved things with him and Peggy. Honestly, I’m so tired that Peggy post the first Captain Marvel is literally just Steve’s Love Interest, even though she was so much more. When she appears, it’s only to dance with Steve or to be sad about Steve and it’s... frustrating. And I don’t know how much they just changed her life by having her and Steve get married in the 70s. Not to mention, uh, what did Steve do in the past 50 years? Just hide out at home? Since Captain America’s face is kind of recognizable.

Look, Steve and Peggy getting married and growing old together, being happy together, is absolutely the dream ending for Steve’s storyline. Genuinely. But this was too big a thing to be so casually handled. The ripple-effect that two Steves in one timeline have, the implication that this Steve really did give up fighting bad guys, during four decades where no Captain America was there to help, it’s... so very, very vague. I know there was no time to dive into this in full length, obviously, but that doesn’t quite excuse it.

I love that he handed the shield off to Sam though. He is easy to establish as the new Captain America since we all already know him and honestly, the only two options would have been Sam or Bucky - and... please just let Bucky retire, that boy’s been through too many decades of shit don’t force him to live up to Steve now, so yeah, Sam is the better fit there.

That being said, Bucky. I liked that Steve handed the shield off to Sam, but I was missing a proper Steve-Bucky reunion. Bucky nudging Sam to talk to old!Steve and even before that, after getting undusted, there was... nothing. After 75% of Steve Rogers’ plotline in the MCU being centered around Bucky Barnes, the least they could have done would have been a proper, heartfelt reunion and a last conversation between the two. So Steve didn’t want to tell Sam about the marriage? One more scene. One where Bucky sits down next to Steve and Steve tells Bucky about his life with Peggy, even if just shortly, but... that was something that was missing, for me.

Clint was... there. I just... I don’t know, man. He was out there murdering criminals for five fucking years and they couldn’t track one archer during all that time and now he’s supposed to go back play house with Laura? I honestly, genuinely would have preferred that they killed him off at that point.

Also because Natasha deserved better. They fridged her. They took the only female member of the original team and basically killed her off for the others’ man-pain. Seeing those five guys crying about her at the lake felt like really nothing but fridging. She died so they could have the stone, she died so Clint lost her - that was literally the only note on that. She died so Clint would lose her. That’s the definition of fridging and it makes me mad, because apparently during those five years, she was like a leader to everyone else.

I was, honestly, ready for them to spin off a female Avengers team after this movie. Led by Natasha. And that they did her dirty like that makes me mad.

Wanda was also in this movie. She was badass, that’s something. (This is literally the nicest you will ever hear me say about MCU!Wanda.)

WAKANDA

They really did Wakanda dirty. Mainly so because they did them dirty in Infinity War already - aside from Okoye, they literally killed off every single significant cast-member from Black Panther.

Shuri, I’ll hand it to you they had to kill off because otherwise Steve and co would have had an alternative to go to instead of Tony and thus they wouldn’t have brought the team together as they planned. But the way she was treated after? She didn’t even have a speaking role in this movie, damn it. Not even... one line... She and Peter never got to interact. She got a bit of action, but not much.

T’Challa at least had a speaking role, but also suffered from having been dusted in the previous movie and thus only getting ridiculously little screentime.

M’Baku! He had one scene. He ran through the screen once. That was it. That’s just... ridiculous. He didn’t even get a major throw-down or anything.

And Okoye? The only undusted one? I am genuinely disappointed that she was not part of the team. They got the whole gang together, but the gang didn’t include anyone who wasn’t an OG Avenger or a Guardian. Valkyrie and Okoye should have been brought onto the team too.

Never mind Nakia, she didn’t even get a cameo at the end like the queen did. She was just like... Sharon Carter and Jane Foster: Not found. And yes, I get it, you can’t get all 200 MCU cast members, that doesn’t make it less frustrating when key characters are just... missing.

THE ASGARDIANS

The humor around every Bruce and Thor scene was... very Ragnarök. That’s not a compliment. It’s jarring, considering that this is an Avengers movie and I would have preferred their regular characterization over that one-off movie one with its... strange, cringey humor.

Seriously, they did Bruce so dirty. He was little more than a punchline. He’s a genius scientist, but now he’s a poser in the body of the Hulk who rather takes pictures with fans? And who completely screws up time-travel - but don’t worry, it’s hilarious so it’s okay.

And I better not start with Thor. Look, I approve of the fact that he grieved, that he was shown to not handle shit well. But... the extend in which he didn’t handle shit well was... not satisfying for me, but that’s a matter of taste I suppose. I didn’t like that he killed Thanos off just like that when Nebula was right there - and yes, Thor lost a lot, but Nebula would have had the right to kill him off and Thor took that away from her.

I did love his conversation with Frigga though. That was... incredibly well-handled and very nice and exactly what he needed to get at least most of his shit together again.

Though it really frustrates me how... ridiculous it was that he didn’t save Frigga. What makes anyone who got dusted more worthy of being saved? They died too. They were killed off too. It was a legitimate kill. But here, you decided that going back in time to save them is okay. When Thor however gets to be right there and have the chance to also save his mom... that’s a no-no? Why? That’s bullshit. You are altering things, saving people who died, but you get picky about what people get saving? Fuck off.

Valkyrie was... why was she not part of the team. They went and picked up Thor for the mission. They sent Bruce to pick up Thor, Bruce who knows Valkyrie the best after Thor. Why would he not also take her with them because they could have needed the backup?

And I don’t know how to feel about her as a king either. Maybe... Maybe let the Asgardians vote? Try democracy if you say you no longer have monarchy? You can’t just... appoint the next king like that.

Where exactly did her pegasus come from, by the way? I mean, did they have time to save the stables in Asgard too...? Just, where?

Also on the note of characters who didn’t make it into the movie I’d like to give honorary mentions to Sif, who I love and dearly miss and also would have wanted to meet Valkyrie.

THE GUARDIANS

Same as with Cap and Bucky, I was salty that Rocket and Groot did not get a heartfelt reunion.

And that Quill getting to see Gamora again was handled as a joke despite just how... emotionally loaded it could have been.

Drax and Mantis were... also in this movie, I guess. Some of the dusted characters came out shorter than the others.

Also, I really don’t know how I feel about Thor joining the Guardians, to be quite honest. Not... my favorite idea, because him and Quill have such a bad, obnoxious dynamic and it was already annoying during Infinity War and now during Endgame and both had like... five minutes of it. An entire movie with it would just give me a fucking migraine.

FEMALE AVENGERS TEAM??

And also, on the note of a female Avengers team - that group-shot of every female hero looked really fucking epic, I had tears in my eyes when Okoye repeated Natasha’s words from Infinity War; She’s not alone. That was... that was a bit much for me, but personally, I found it really undersold.

They took the time out of this movie to show us a shot we have all already seen. That big epic “first time of all the Avengers in one scene” shot.

They had the time for that, but they didn’t fully give that to the girls. It was clear they were trying to recreate that moment with the female Avengers, but it was such a split-second image - the least they could have done then would have been to give it a proper spin, to pause, to really show it off. Show off what female heroes Marvel has to offer right then and there.

And yes. They absolutely had the time for that. They could have just cut the damn shot that we have all already seen in favor of this new one, for example.

And since now seems to be as good a time as any, let’s talk about Captain Marvel and her hair. I love it. It made my lesbian heart really very happy.

Part of me hated that she was off-world for most of the movie, most of me knows on a rational level that the had to have her off-world or else things would have ended too quickly. And I liked how they explicitely pointed it out in-universe too, through Rocket and Carol.

Stephen was also in this movie. Not very much due to having been dusted and not actually doing a lot, but him telling Tony what to do was... It made me cry some more. And I guess Wong also got a brief cameo.

IN CONCLUSION:

So, on the overall, I complain a lot about how the dusted ones came short, how certain emotional scenes could have been deepened.

There would have been an easy solution to that. Make one more movie. Make this finale a trilogy instead of a two-parter. There were so many characters with individual plotlines in this movie and they deserved to be heard. Endgame should have been a two-parter in my opinion.

Also, I don’t like the five years time-jump. I just... yes, yes, big tragedy, lots of people dead, but somehow I find it incredibly unrealistic that five years into the future, the world would be slowly turning dystopian and no one moved on even a little bit? Life... Life would go on, somehow. And this made it look like it just didn’t.

I’d have had an easier time had they put this one year later, but I guess then Morgan couldn’t have been an adorable girl and would have just been a screechy baby so they needed the time-jump, huh.

Still I think five years was too much on the overall. Clint out there, murdering criminals for five years without being caught by the Avengers?

But yes, in the overall, I really did enjoy the movie. While some things came to short, they still put a pleasant amount of focus on the emotions and dynamics. It was heartfelt, emotional, sad, it gave Tony and Steve both the end they deserved. It did however still include a lot of things that didn’t sit right with me or that I thought were fault and I do still require a more elaborate explanation on the time paradox.

The total sum of this movie however was the perfect ending for the MCU. Which... is actually kind of a problem considering there is more MCU happening? And while, yes, I am totally here for Captain Marvel 2 and Black Panther 2, I... honestly... am basically done with the rest? And those two mainly due to the quality of their first movies and the fact that they happen isolated. Space and Wakanda. Not... yet another story in New York but this time without the Avengers you know and miss now.

[amuseoffyre]

Some thoughts on That New Big Film Wot Came Out. Sp*ilers, natch.

Generally, enjoyed it. First time in a long time that an Avengers-centric film left me smiling as I left the cinema.

AUS! OMG SO MANY AU OPTIONS TO PLAY WITH NOW. SO MANY. DID I MENTION MY BONER FOR AUs? BECAUSE I LOVE AUS.

Characters:

Steve remains my solid fave. "You gotta be shitting me" and "Yeah, I know" made me make small squeaky noises.

Steggy remains my ship and I sailed happily home.

Bucky knew. GDI, Steve told him. No other reason that "good luck on your mission" was so grave. S'why Sam got the final farewell as well. Bucky already had his.

CAP WILSON :D :D :D :D :D

I knew Tony was toast the moment we saw Morgan. The tropes are hungry. They fed well on the loving attentions of a small child and happy settled life and finally having a man-to-man chat with his father and then the dessert was the embrace of the boy who wanted a father figure. Toast. I just didn't foresee the how.    

Valkyrie - YASSSS QUEEN.

Thor - on one hand, was the belly necessary as a shock joke? On the other, seeing Thor trying and failing to deal with survivor's guilt, depression, grief and anxiety was unexpected. And omg, the scene with Frigga. I was so frigging flaily.

Scott - is a cinnamon roll. His wide-eyed awe over everything was great. ANd yet, can't help thinking that if Ant Man had been around for part one, he wouldn't have needed to do the butt trick. He could have got gimungous and stomped him with his hoov- er- feet.

Brulk is awesome. Brulk trying to pretend to be Hulk is hilarious. "Rar."

Nebula and Rhodey working together gave me life, especially their mutual disdain for StarLord (who I still cannot stand, for the record. He rubs me up the wrong way so hard). Actually both of them in general. YAY FOR RHODEY! MOAR RHODEY! Also Nebula's growth and strength in this film was amazing and I love her. Especially when literally facing her demons.

Clint and Natasha went out of their way to destroy me. THAT was the friendship I've wanted to see since the first Avengers. THAT was the moment that broke me. They both fought so hard to save each other and I was a wibbling mess.

Rocket was such a great wry foil to pretty much everyone. Quite frankly he could bounce of anyone and it would be amazing. And look at Mr Team Player. That was perfect.

Things of note I really loved:

every. single. cameo. Especially the ones that were either punch-in-the-heart poignant like Frigga and Howard or hilarious like the echo of the Winter Soldier lift scene and Steve's little smirk as he walked out with the case. Oh and Loki making faces at every single person and then stealing things because that's what he does :D Oh and Harley in the funeral. "We have a connection".

everyone and their uncle admiring Steve's ass. Including Steve.

Tony and Nebula being awkward friends while stranded in space

Time travel AU :D :D :D Multiple thereof! So at one point in time in 2012, there were three Captain Americas in New York.

'Stop hitting yourself' has a whole new meaning :D

HE'S WORTHY :D :D :D :D And Thor's "I knew it!" (Although confused by the lightning. I thought that was Thor's power)

the ladies getting in formation and tearing a hole through Thanos's defences

all the different character fighting styles coming in from every angle

Things that were meh:

so many characters meant some people didn't even get lines. Nick flurken Fury didn't even get a line or see Carol. Would a fistbump have gone amiss?

the touted "gay character" was barely a blink and you'll miss cameo

someone putting on weight shouldn't still be used as a joke. It's lazy.

Thor's ending. I feel like the Russos undid a lot of the cool character stuff that Taika and Chris did in Ragnarok

But mostly, came out grinning and my ship lives and got married :D

[amandajoyce118]

Friday Five: More Women, Please

I took my mother to see Ocean’s 8 last weekend, and it was just as fun as I expected it to be. Now, to be fair, I love a heist movie. It doesn’t really matter if it’s completely implausible to me. The idea of a heist, especially one involving revenge, is the perfect story to me. So, I knew I was going to enjoy it. But I love that Ocean’s 8 leaned into its all female cast. At one point Lou asks Debby Ocean why she doesn’t want a guy on the team, and Debby’s response is that guy’s stand out and woman go unnoticed - sometimes you want to go unnoticed. That might be oversimplifying things a bit, especially when any time a remake/franchise/sequel decides to use a female lead, there seems to be some sort of public outcry. Regardless, it made me wonder what other spinoffs/remakes I’d like to see with the same idea - a group of women in all the lead roles.

And yes, I did love the Ghostbusters movie.

Five: The Italian Job

Or really literally any other heist movie. Ocean’s 8 was so fun. I’d love to see a spinoff, or even a remake of literally any movie involving a team getting together to steal some stuff that was all women. The Italian Job popped into my head first only because such a big deal is made in the remake about recruiting Stella for this job. She’s the daughter of their former leader, the man whose death they all want revenge for, and it’s Stella that one character says will be too emotional to do the job. Because she’s family? Or because she’s a woman? You decide. I like the idea of a female crew recruiting the son of their former leader to help them out, and then a whole conversation going down about how he might not be equipped to handle the job, you know, emotionally.

Four: Avengers

AKA A-Force.

It’s no secret that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is heavy on the white guys. With so many contracts coming to an end, that could very well change. But Tessa Thompson and other actresses have been upfront about the fact that they went to Marvel producers and pitched an all female movie. That has comic book precedent in A-Force, a team made up entirely of female heroes. Give audiences that movie with cameos from male Avengers if you feel like that’s necessary. Let them take down a female villain. Let them introduce a few new female heroes. Maybe throw in acknowledgment of Valkyrie’s bisexuality while you’re at it. Because the excuse that the Chinese film market doesn’t want that is old. Black Panther and Infinity War made a shit ton of money in the United States without any help from the international market. That’s really not a concern.

I mean, I also really want a Black Widow movie that incorporates other Widows aside from Natasha and gives us the history of the Red Room, but I’m not holding my breath on that one. (I would have also given DC’s Poison Ivy a slot on this list, but Margot Robbie is getting a female ensemble Harley Quinn movie, so I know that at least DC is actively developing projects for their female leads.)

Three: Die Hard

I feel like Gabrielle Union’s recent movie Breaking In (in which she is fantastic, by the way) is the closest thing I’ve seen to this because you have a woman breaking into a house to save her family. But I also feel like maybe I would have been more interested if some of the villains were also women instead of all men, especially since the one thing alllllll movies use as a threat to women when you have a male villain is rape. Get more creative, writers! There are plenty of other ways to scare/torture/make your audience uncomfortable. (No, in case anyone still wants to see Breaking In, no one ends up raped, but the idea is used as a threat, so you can set that worry aside for now.) Bruce Willis and Liam Neeson have basically made their careers on being the guys who can get their family back from anything. I’d like to see a movie that puts a woman in that role. One where she has to face off against a woman. One that requires climbing through crawl spaces and creative use of security systems and the whole lot.

Two: Jurassic Park/World/etc

Yes, yes, Chris Pratt is currently the face of the franchise. That’s fine. I’m not mad about that. In fact, I won’t even say that this entire cast has to be female. But my main issue with these movies (and I mean the franchise as a whole, which I do actually love) is that the later movies have very few women, and very few women in roles that matter. Take the first two movies of the franchise: You have Ellie in the first movie who is the only one to figure out what’s going on with the dinosaurs and she’s badass enough to go out and get the power on for the park on her own, and then you have Lex who is terrified through most of the film but figures out how to use the park’s computer system to save their lives, and then you have Sarah in the second movie who is a vet and seeing the world on her own terms and Malcolm’s daughter whose name escapes me at the moment who uses her teenage gymnast skill set to keep herself alive. After those two movies, the women kind of devolve. The mom in the third movie is shrill and annoying and unwilling to listen to the man she’s paying to find her son. We don’t even get to know the assistant in Jurassic World who gets the most brutal death in possibly the entire franchise. And then, there’s Claire. Most people paid more attention to the fact that she spent the movie running in heels than anything else her character did.

I’d like to see this franchise have a larger number of fully fleshed out women with actually skill sets that exist outside of barking orders since the women in them are already so few. I mean, I guess one could argue that all of the original dinosaurs were female? Yay?

One: The Goonies

Okay, so I realize that there were female cast members in that movie. And yes, I realize that both fans and cast members have wanted a sequel to this movie for decades. As a kid, I saw this movie for the first time sitting in a hotel room in Tennessee. Or, I should say, I saw the first half of it. I saw the second half of it sitting in a hotel room in West Virginia. I loved the adventure of it, the idea of these kids going out on their own, going up against a group of criminals, and still finding the pirate ship. And yes, kids’ movies do still very much use the archetypes present here: the jock, the nerd, the comic relief, the smartass, etc as the main cast of characters. But when I saw this movie at eight years old, I wanted to be Mikey, not Andie or Steph. And I think a group of girls going on a treasure hunt would have a very different dynamic.

[bemynightmanager]

Okay, review time. In short: THOR RAGNAROK ROCKS!!!

Or maybe I should say  “ragnarocks!”? xD

Very minor spoilers possible, but I promise to avoid the bigger ones (I’ll hide them behind the cut).

First of all, this movie is hilarious and extremely entertaining, but every review starts with a similar comment, so I’ll just skip that part, okay?

Let’s start with the characters. I simply love the new Thor. Making him smarter, more cunning and more sassy was a perfect decision. Yeah, he’s different from the simple, pretty naïve man we met in the first movie, but hey, people evolve, and so do Norse gods, right? Maybe it’s a sudden change, but I don’t mind it. Because the new Thor rocks (yeah, I feel like I’m going to use this word a lot in this review^^).

Loki is just perfect. There was a lot of him, he had an important role in the whole plot, he was hilarious and mischievous and SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL! That face! That body! There is a scene in which Loki and someone (Valkyrie?) walk on a floor that is made of something like glass and it reflects those long legs of his so perfectly that I might have started drooling a bit. So yeah... well... back to the more important stuff. I’ve seen people complaining he’s the scapegoat/the butt of the joke here. I disagree. Yeah, he has a lot of such moments, but in my humble opinion they fit the overall mood and plot without taking anything from his character as we love it. Besides, he’s changed, evolved as well, and I buy it completely.

One of the brightest points of this movie for me was the relationship between Thor and Loki. It was everything I wanted it to be. It changed, evolved, and left me with so much feels! But first of all – it existed! Like, in the previous movies we don’t see them much as brothers (except for maybe that flying scene in TDW which is one of my favourites btw), while in this one they’re brothers all the time and I just love it! And that last scene between them was like SO MUCH FEELS! Besides (I hope this is not much of a spoiler) after that spot with Loki in chains saying “ouch” many of you guessed it right – Thor’s throwing things at his brother to make sure he’s real. It happens more than once in this movie and I loved this idea!

Hela was pretty okay as the villain. Not outstanding, but not bad either. At least better than Malekith :P She has some motivation, not a very great one maybe, but at least we can see she has it and she just revels in being bad. And Cate Blanchett is not only an amazing actress, she’s also so damn beautiful! Yeah, I might be a little gay for her. XD

Btw, Grandmaster is totally gay for Loki! XD I really enjoyed his character. Jeff Goldblum is hilarious.

Valkyrie is a great addition to the team, and Tessa was just perfect in this role. I hope we’ll see her more. She rocks!

The Hulk is another character that has evolved in an interesting way. As you’ve probably seen in the trailers, he talks. And he’s like a giant green toddler. I really liked him, but at the same time I missed Banner. And then Banner appeared and I started missing the Hulk. Why can’t I have them both at the same time? XD Btw, I won’t tell you what made Hulk change back into Bruce, but I can tell you that this was another of these SO MUCH FEELS moments. <3

I simply love that they gave a slightly bigger role to Heimdall. It was awesome and I don’t think I’ve ever loved him as much as I did in this movie. Also, I dig the new look^^

I’m surprised how much I turned out to like Skurge. He had a lot of personality given that he was supposed to be basically the villain’s sidekick. I could really see the reasons behind his actions and even though at some point his story arch became a bit predictable, I still think he was quite an interesting character.

Korg steals every scene he’s in, and that’s mainly thanks to Taika’s voice. I love him (yeah, seems like “love” is another word I’m using too much of).

I really liked the bit with Doctor Strange. It was hilarious, even though I wish we could see him interacting more with Loki (he mainly interacted with Thor – but this was awesome too!). Actually the same goes for Loki and Valkyrie. They had some great moments together, but I still think it was not enough. They have a great chemistry, I could watch their banter all day.

The Stan Lee cameo was awesome as well!

What else? Visually it’s great. I just loved how they depicted Sakaar. Surtur was cool. I loved the music. I was surprised they actually used Immigrant Song in the movie, I thought it was only for the trailer. But they use it in the actual movie, at least twice, yay! Yeah, I love this song. Another nice touch was the music that played in the scene when Thor (and us together with him) is first introduced to the Grandmaster and Sakaar. I’m not 100% sure if it was exactly “Pure Imagination”, but if not, it must have been extremely similar to it. And I think it was a very nice little reference which really fitted that moment.

My only major criticism is the pacing of the early part of the move, between the opening fight and Thor landing on Sakaar. While in the rest of the movie the pace was just perfect, in the beginning I felt like things were happening way too quickly. And they were very important things, crucial both to the development of the characters, their relationships, and their positions in the plot, and to the plot itself. And yet I didn’t have time to process them properly, because scenes were changing like a kaleidoscope. I’m really counting on the deleted scenes!

And btw, that scene from the trailer where Loki throws his knives into the air? IT’S NOT IN THE ACTUAL MOVIE! Taika, whyyyy?

PS. There are 2 post credits scenes, you really should stay and see at least the first one. 

A few major spoilers below the cut – if you haven’t seen the movie yet, I advise you to stop here

Here are a few spoiler-y comments in no particular order ;)

1. I was a bit disappointed in how quickly Volstagg and Fandral were killed. They weren’t maybe the most important characters of the Thor universe, but I think they deserved more. What point was there in bringing them back for literally one second? Luckily Hogun’s part was exactly what I expected it to be.

2. I absolutely loved the scene in which Thor said he wanted to be a Valkyrie when he was a little boy and was disappointed to learn that only women could join their ranks. <3

3. Loki’s reactions to the Thor/Hulk fight were perfect and hilarious and I love them, but I particularly loved the moment when Hulk smashed Thor like he had done with Loki in the Avengers – Loki’s leap of joy because “now Thor knows how if feels” was just the best!

4. And as we’re speaking of Loki’s reactions. I found them very interesting in Odin’s last scene. The fact that Loki didn’t say anything, didn’t try to argue, say that he’s not Odin’s son etc., but just walked quietly to him side by side with Thor when they were called – I think it tells a lot about the change that’s begun within him.

5. And as we’re speaking of Odin. I wonder who Hela’s mother could have been. I don’t think it was Frigga. In fact my very personal headcanon is that it was his marriage to Frigga that changed Odin and made him become a different, better and more peaceful ruler – and as a result cast Hela away. What do you think?

6. And the last one: do you think Loki took the tesseract when we was in the vaults to collect Surtur’s helmet/crown?^^

[hedgehog-goulash7]

OK - this is the piece I wrote in refutation of this now-notorious (because of its many, almost hilarious inaccuracies) article on Screen Rant: “15 Reasons the MCU Should Retire Iron Man”

This is:

A Rebuttal to ‘15 Reasons The MCU Should Retire Iron Man” -- or, Iron Man Should Retire Only If and When RDJ Wants Him To

By Hedgehog-Goulash7 

I will preface this by saying: I know all good and great things must someday come to an end. We’ve all been blessed now by almost a decade of RDJ in the armor as Tony Stark, and with all the other opportunities in movies, TV and elsewhere calling to him, we can’t expect one of America’s finest actors to stay an active player in the Marvel Cinematic Universe forever.

As Chris Evans -- another MCU player who’s potentially on the cusp of change -- said recently, and more poetically than I ever could, “The passing of time and the passing of torches is part of the experience. Nothing lasts forever. There’s a beauty in that departure, even if it can be sad at times. It’s also joyful.” 

But there’s that type of graceful nod to what may and will come, later if not sooner -- and then there’s a completely other type of thing: a pseudo-expert on a movie news site willfully CALLING for a character’s end, and using dubious and easily refuted pseudo-”facts” to back his points up. That’s about when I feel the need to respond. So let’s go. 

(Continued under the cut.  This is LONG, but it needed to be, to answer a lot of his badly construed points.  Your comments are always very welcome -- and I’m sure I missed a lot of things, but had I included everything this would have been 6,000 words long!  As I mentioned before, I actually sent this to Screen Rant; they thanked me, turned it down because they don’t accept “guest posts,” but liked it enough to consider me for a staff writer position -- about which we shall see...  - Hedge)

I was puzzled and disappointed to read Evan Killham’s “15 Reasons the MCU Should Retire Iron Man.” At first I thought it had to be satire, but then realized that wasn’t the case. And then as I plowed through, I realized that Evan misstated and downright confused so many elements in the MCU’s Tony Stark story that in some cases I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about.

As a Marvel fan – particularly of Tony Stark/Iron Man – for many years, and continuing to enjoy Iron Man as my favorite character in the MCU, I disagree wholeheartedly with Evan’s article, which seemed a rather mean-spirited attack piece on a beloved character. So please, allow me to rebut point by point and show you the OTHER side, from a much more optimistic Iron Man fan’s point of view.

15.  Tony Stark did NOT “create most of his own enemies”

Vanko was “created, if anything, by Tony’s father -- as was Obadiah Stane. The only enemy Tony Stark really “created” was Aldrich Killian, but who could predict the insanity of a dude you barely knew building an entire villain persona inspired by a slight at a party years ago?  

Yes, Tony blames himself for creating Ultron, because Tony is all about taking responsibility and blame upon himself (unlike most of his teammates).  But Ultron was clearly NOT Tony’s fault. Tony may have been the catalyst who physically added the alien intelligence to the Iron Legion program. But at the time he was under the influence of the vision Wanda had implanted in his brain: of his greatest fear, losing his teammates and not having done more to save them.  

And more important, he was ALSO under the influence of the Mind Stone in Loki’s staff, which, as we saw in the first Avengers movie, can sow discord and control the minds of even superpowered beings.  The Mind Stone manipulates Tony and Bruce into inserting it in the Ultron/Iron Legion program, and from there it self-promulgates, embodying itself as the evil robot. Tony and Bruce go off to the party not thinking anything of it, because they are being manipulated into thinking nothing’s wrong.  The entrance of Evil Ultron is a huge surprise to them.

14. Tony Stark is not “overused”

Evan says Tony Stark has appeared in “eight of the 16 released MCU films.” He rushes to clarify that one appearance – in “The Incredible Hulk” – was just a few moments’ worth in a tiny cameo. So then that’s seven of the 16 films, fairly speaking.

So three of those were star appearances in his own franchise. Three were in Avengers movies (because Cap3: Civil War was really an Avengers movie, albeit one that RDJ made a mark for himself in, despite having far less screen time…). And yes, of course Iron Man should be a star player in the Avengers movies.

And most recently he made, oooh, wait for it: a 15-minute guest appearance in Spider-Man: Homecoming.

“Overused”? Hardly.

RDJ, sadly for us aficionados, is only in about one movie per year, of ANY type. So a year in which he makes even a small appearance in an MCU movie is a precious year indeed. In fact many of us think some of the Iron Man-less MCU movies could actually have benefited from a strong injection of Iron Man, which always makes everything that much better.

 13. Tony’s teammates really DO like him.

Sure, Rhodey loves Tony and they’re besties from way back. But there have been many, many moments of friendship and affection from his other teammates for Tony Stark throughout the MCU saga.

Natasha practically mouths Russian prayers for Tony to return from the wormhole in Avengers, and in Civil War she holds and massages Tony’s shoulder and asks if he’s OK. Thor apologizes for doubting Tony in Age of Ultron and admiringly admits Tony was right. Bruce Banner warms to Tony’s friendship in the first Avengers movie – yes, the one that launched a million “Science Bros” memes because their affection for each other was so evident. When Tony is jolted back from the dead by the Hulk’s snarl at the end of the Chitauri battle, the smile on Steve’s face could light up a room.

There are countless other little moments like that throughout all the movies. They’re “just” character moments, though – not part of the big bashing action setpieces – so casual viewers tend to overlook them. I don’t get that the heroes of the MCU are generally touchy-feely emotive people (except for you, Thor, you giant puppy). But they DO express their feelings in small, very meaningful ways that are fun to watch.  

Does Tony annoy them? Sure, like an annoying brother. But we love that brother anyway, because he’s family and he’s actually pretty entertaining. (If only my brother were RDJ, it would never get old…)

 12. Tony loves his teammates, too

Tony Stark sometimes doesn’t know how to deal with feelings of care and affection, so he sometimes tries to buy it – as he’s doing now by providing ALL of the Avengers’ amenities: the Tower and now the Compound, their uniforms and equipment and tech, their room and board. (It’s actually led to a “Team Freeloader” meme among the fans, since Tony is pretty much giving them everything.)  He doesn’t NEED to do this, but he does. Because he cares about them, and they’ve become his surrogate family.

But when you really get down to matters of the heart – which these movies don’t very often – look again at the vision Wanda implanted in Tony’s brain; the one of his greatest fear. Of all the Avengers who were affected by Wanda’s visions, only Tony saw a vision of his teammates dying. That is his greatest fear: that he didn’t do enough and then all his friends die. He admits to Nick Fury that he’d rather die than have them die.

I don’t know how much more blatant the MCU saga could get in practically underlining the point that Tony loves his teammates and takes responsibility for their lives and well-being. He FLIES TO SIBERIA all alone in Civil War -- one little guy in an armored suit flying hours and hours through ocean storms -- after braving The Raft and immense danger to find out where Steve is, once he learns the truth about the Vienna bombing. That’s called true friendship, and being there to make things right even after you and your friend both screw up.  

Oh, not to mention he designs everything, pays for everything and makes everyone look cooler.

 11.  Tony may “desperately need a break” -- but he just got one

Yup, we fans have been saying all along that Tony Stark needs a break and a long vacation in some beautiful place where he can quietly heal and come to terms with all that’s happened since 2008. And remember, only about five minutes ago in screen time, he just learned the truth of his parents’ murder and his friend’s betrayal, which probably triggered every ounce of PTSD inside him.

And…he just got a break, thankfully.  In Spider-Man: Homecoming he goes to India to rest and recharge and find himself (it’s glossed over quickly in the movie, but in the novelization, based on the script, it’s clear). Hey, if hanging out and meditating in some ritzy ashram is what it takes to get the old Tony Stark back, then yay.

But more than that: in Homecoming he has reunited with Pepper, the “one thing he can’t live without.” And even more than THAT, he has also gained a surrogate son in Peter Parker, the young superhero who is so much like Tony in almost every way: impulsive, mouthy, quicksilver, utterly determined. So now Tony, who probably thought he lost a family in “Civil War” (in more ways than one) has a close cadre of people he loves around him again.

And remember: this is an ongoing saga. Civil War brought everyone to their low point, the nadir of the story. From here on it’s onward and upward for all of them.

10.  Tony’s motivations are not “questionable”

You could say everything Tony Stark does has “guilt” behind it, as Evan did in his listcicle. But you could say that about all of them – every last one of the Avengers is either driven by guilt or shame. They’re all broken in some way. But if the story plays out as I think it will, because this is how stories work, they will all find their destiny in working together, as a team, as a family – when the Earth is threatened by a Big Bad only the Avengers can defeat.

Tony is not a perfect person. That’s what makes him a fascinating and compelling character. Yes, guilt over his family’s weapons-making legacy drives him to become Iron Man once he sees that those weapons are being diverted and sold to bad guys by Obie. (P.S.: Evan, Stark Industries NEVER sold weapons to evildoers. They were contracted to the U.S. military only.)  

Yes, Tony nearly weeps when confronted by the mom of the young man who died in Sokovia. Yes, he blames himself for Ultron and feels desperate guilt over that, because he’s not aware that he actually WASN’T to blame. And yes, these things and more drive Tony Stark toward advocating the Accords, which (I don’t know, I haven’t read them and I don’t know anyone who has…) seem to simply say that super-powered beings who pack the force of a bunch of atom bombs shouldn’t go tromping across international borders without permission, and should have some oversight. I don’t know – seems reasonable to me?

 9.  Tony Stark definitely DOES want to be Iron Man

Of course he does, because he’s a hero, and hero-ing is what heroes do. He even admits it to Cap: “I don’t want to stop.”  He TRIES to stop – probably to try to be a better mundane man and for Pepper’s sake. But he keeps coming back. Because he wants to. Because the inner drive to be a hero never stops.

We see this most clearly in his interactions with Peter Parker. Peter’s statement that “if you can do the things I can do, and you don’t, and bad things happen, then that’s on you” clearly has an impact on Tony – because it hits him at a time he’s been roped back in after trying to step away from his hero duties. It brings back to Tony that by trying to sit these things out, he’s actually making things worse -- because the world benefits from his actions as Iron Man.

Out of the mouth of this innocent kid – in whom Tony sees an unspoiled version of himself that he feels compelled to protect and guide – comes the entire credo for why he Iron Mans. And why any of them do what they do.

 8.  He’s NOT “more of a wild card than the Hulk.”

No. Just no. The Hulk can’t help himself. Tony can. Most of Tony’s decisions are pretty rational, when he’s actually thinking for himself and isn’t controlled by some outside force. Tony “submitting to registration” in Civil War was not a wild or unexpected decision. It’s the reasonable outcome of the huge fiascos the Avengers have gotten themselves into.  None of it because of anything they’d intended, but the collateral damages happened, right? Massive loss of property, life and limb?

And who was stuck with cleaning it up and paying for it all?  Why, it’s Tony Stark, the ONLY one taking any responsibility whatsoever. More on that in a moment.

 7.  Tony Stark does NOT “actively hold people back” – LOL, what?!!

Where in the world did THAT accusation come from? I’ve literally in all my years of fandom never heard that Tony Stark holds people back. Au contraire, mon Screen Rant frére. Tony Stark revels in being a futurist and in looking ahead to what the future will bring to all of us.

He takes on mentorship of Peter Parker because he knows that this youngster will someday, probably sooner rather than later, be a great hero – and that the kid won’t stop being a hero, whether or not Tony Stark is there to guide him or not. Thus, Peter is in active danger, out there on the streets in his onesie, punching far above his weight.

Tony isn’t holding Peter BACK, he’s keeping him SAFE. Can you imagine the time, effort and thought that went into that high-tech suit and its “Training Wheels Protocol” – Tony spending hours and hours planning how to keep this impetuous young padawan from being killed before he’s 17? Can you imagine Tony’s guilt if he had the ability to protect Peter and he didn’t?

Tony’s only mistake here is not realizing how much like him young Peter is, because of course Peter would disable the protections at his first opportunity. Remember “JARVIS, sometimes you gotta run before you can walk”?

 6.  Tony does not “refuse to take responsibility” – quite the opposite

Tony Stark is completely DRIVEN by the impetus to take responsibility. There is literally a whole movie about this, called Iron Man, in case you missed it.

Ever since his captivity in Afghanistan, it’s been that way. He immediately shut down Stark Industries’ weapons manufacturing at great expense and danger to himself. He built the suit to avenge the life of Yinsen and take responsibility for the safety of the town of Gulmira, since he blamed himself for the terrorists getting his weapons (even though that was Obie’s deal…). I didn’t see recklessness – just determination and courage, and some awesome pinpoint weapons-aiming, too. No collateral damage there.

In Age of Ultron and Civil War, Tony is completely horrified by the ravages of Ultron, whom he blames himself for even though (as we’ve seen) he’s really not to blame. And really, even though both Cap and Tony are quite a bit right and quite a lot wrong in Civil War, Tony in the context of real-world affairs is MORE right.  

The Avengers without oversight by some state or world agency are no more than an outlaw militia traipsing over borders and doing what they wish. No iteration of international law would ever allow that, no matter how much “good” Cap thinks they’re doing by “keeping it in our own hands.”

That sort of thinking is dangerously unilateral, and Cap veers close to America First-ism there (not surprisingly) -- but that doesn’t really work well in an international context. Tony has more of the right idea – that the group needs to be held accountable, as any military would, as any international peacekeeping organization would. There are laws in the world, and they’re there for a purpose.

Also, the only one taking ANY responsibility after the Lagos fiasco seems to be: Tony Stark. Cap is curiously subdued, keeping to his rooms while Tony comes back from his mini-retirement. Tony once again takes on ALL the stress of being the Avenger’s PR crisis manager, lead media spokesman, government liaison and all-around cleanup guy while everyone else apparently lounges around at the Compound.

And going back just a little further – remember that the MCU wouldn’t have Manhattan and would probably be embroiled in WW3 if Tony Stark hadn’t shouldered a nuclear missile and gone on a suicide mission to deliver it into space. Talk about being the guy who lies down on the wire…

So don’t talk to me about Tony Stark “not taking responsibility.” So often and on so many occasions, he takes on ALL the responsibility.

 5.  Tony Stark has shown more character development than all the rest of the Avengers put together.

Anyone asserting that Tony “has shown no character development” has had their head under the proverbial rock the past nine years. Tony Stark has had the most continuous character development of any of the Avengers. If you think not, then you’re buying into the motormouth bravado that the character wears like his armor -- and not seeing the man underneath.

In the course of the MCU saga so far, Tony has had his hero revelation moment, soared above the mistakes of his past, been brought very low by both real and perceived missteps along his hero journey, and now is set to fly high again. In fact, judging from Homecoming, he’s just gone through a rather huge glow-up (which makes his fans very happy).

Tony is not a god or an unceasingly good and moral super-soldier; he’s not a Jekyll-and-Hyde rage monster; he’s not a trained assassin or spy.  None of them ever really change, because they’re all locked into their types (or they don’t get their own movies so we can SEE them change: *cough*Black Widow*cough*…).

Of all the Avengers, Tony is the most human and most ever-changing, just like all of us. He’s a flesh-and-bones guy whose only “super power” is his intellect, whose armor is both real and metaphorical, shielding his real and metaphorical heart -- and whose entire story is his leaping, upward, optimistic character arc toward the future.

 4.  His “quipping has gotten exhausting”?! Not a chance.

Listen, if it wasn’t Tony Stark doing the quipping, it would be some other super-dude in the movie. Count on it. It’s a trope.  And I’d much, much, MUCH rather have Robert Downey Jr. as on-site quipmeister than anyone else. He’s by far the world’s most qualified.

Also, can you WAIT for the moment when Iron Man, Rocket and Star Lord meet?  Quip meters all over the world will shatter, and that, as Martha Stewart says, will be a Good Thing.

 3.  All those “murders”? What??  

Please, point me to any occasion in the MCU where Tony Stark “murders” innocent people intentionally.

I’ll wait.

These are superhero movies – ALL the heroes kill people; hopefully, the bad guys. A lot of aliens bite the dust, but occasionally bad humans do too. And Marvel movies, for all their mayhem, are fairly restrained in collateral damages and actually address the issues of unintended deaths and damage and the human consequences that heroes have to live with.  

How many people died as the Chitauri invaded NYC and smashed into buildings? But how many millions more would have died if the World Council had nuked Manhattan? I seem to recall someone in red and gold saving those millions from nuclear annihilation…which is not a small thing. Wanda inadvertently killed 11 innocent people in that hotel in Lagos – sure, “not her fault,” any more than Ultron was Tony’s fault. They both intended to do good and ended up with a fiasco. It’s all become an important part of the MCU story – it’s become a story of accountability and taking responsibility.

I can only defend the Insta-Kill mode in Spidey’s suit with the thought that it was there as an extreme measure of last resort, only to be used in desperation and ONLY when Peter is fully trained and can – yes – take on that heavy responsibility. Tony intended for that training to happen, you know.

 2.  Tony did not “almost literally get everyone killed”

Again, as I mentioned: Tony – who takes on the responsibility and blame for just about everything, which is his main problem in life – was actually and ironically NOT responsible for Ultron. Wanda’s vision, then the Mind Stone, remember. The Mind Stone, not Tony, was mainly responsible for creating the mad robot. Its intelligence entered the Ultron interface while the Avengers were partying, and no one even suspected it was happening.

 1.    We not only “want” to like him, we DO.  

Listen – Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is the reason a lot of us go to the MCU movies. It’s no coincidence that every MCU movie in which he’s played a major role is at the top of the top-grossing movies in cinema history.

Sure, we fans would love to see RDJ in other roles. That’s coming. But if he wants to be part of the MCU for however long, he’s more than welcome. Maybe he could take on a Fury-like role as Director Stark, a role that would let him be involved in the MCU as much or as little as he’d like so he’d have time for other projects.Or maybe he gracefully bows out, with Tony Stark either ending heroically in a blaze of glory or in simply retiring to that country place he’s been promising Pepper. I’m torn, but what will be will be. That’s up to Marvel and RDJ, not some freelance writer with whatever axe you’re grinding.

 Tony Stark is such a beloved hero to all of us because of how he’s portrayed onscreen, by one of the great actors of our time: as a flawed, fallible, searching, very human character who makes mistakes, learns from them, falls down again and again, but gets back up and soars once more toward the future he loves. He’s important to so many fans who have disabilities, mental illness/PTSD, or who suffer anxiety and depression, because of what he has gone through and what he has overcome. He’s important to those of us who study and love science and technology, because he fails and perseveres and that’s what science is about. Because it’s the failures, the attempts, the trying, the falling and the overcoming – all of that IS the story of Tony Stark. That’s why we love him.

Tony Stark is a hero. Not perfect – and that’s the entire point. Tony Stark is us. Long may he be part of the MCU, as long as RDJ wants him to play him – because we’ll be here to watch and cheer him on.     

###

[thestuckylibrary]

quietnight podfics

I didn’t see these on here–sorry if search was acting up!–so I thought I’d rec quietnight if anyone is looking for amazing stucky podfics. Her voice is smooth and just mesmerizing. Some are audiobook-length, some are 10 min, some are crack, some are angst–but they are all really well done.

[Podfic] through smoke, solid ground (~3 hours), fic by magdaliny

For Bucky Barnes’s 100th Birthday, a story wherein he receives the following well deserved items: a blanket, dog kisses, the World’s Best Hug, snarky but supportive team banter, a new (cooler) arm, and some old (happy) memories. Also featuring a cameo by the Tracksuit Mafia (yay!) and a total absence of cryo-freakin’-freeze don’t even talk to me MCU go sit in a corner and think about your choices.

[Podfic] Twentieth-Century Limited (~5.5 hours), fic by Speranza

“Where am I? Where is this?” and he was in Brooklyn, he was on a beach, the train was shaking around him. He was in the plane, ice splintering up onto the windshield. He was in a tank, tubes trailing from his face, from his groin. Christ, he was cold. There was still ice on his fingers. He was in the Grand Canyon. He was in Times Square. This couldn’t be Times Square. Where the hell was this? “Tell me! Where am I, who are you, where's—" —Bucky?

[Podfic] The Fifties (~5 hours), fic by Speranza

"Because everything’s all right, isn’t it?” Bucky said. “Everything’s great. I’m so happy; I never thought I could be this happy. You’re happy, too, aren’t you, Peg?” (Bucky/Peggy/Steve)

[Podfic] Situation Normal (~18 min), fic by redcigar

AU wherein Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers never met, Steve somehow manages to rescue the Winter Soldier anyway, and Avengers Tower ends up with the world’s angriest duckling and a whole new brand of entertainment.

-

(“He was dragging him out of the river,” Natasha argues later.

“Nat, be honest, he was going for the Full Monty.” Says Clint.

“I’m pretty sure we interrupted him in the middle of giving ‘emergency CPR’,” Tony agrees, “Or the stage after emergency CPR. Emergency Dick? Is that a thing?”

“That’s not a thing,” Natasha and Clint reply.)

omg @metisecret, this is amazing! thank you :D

[gladioluuss]

So the endgame is really the end...

My dad is actually a fan, of course he is a guy! (sorry not sorry for this sexist comment) and he has drag me into his stuff like the Star Wars and this MCU which I don’t really have interest in being a fan but I appreciate it. 

This post contains rants, critics, spoilers and biased opinions so read at your own risk. Click that keep reading button.

btw. Disclaimer, don’t judge me and this post because I have a moderate amount of knowledge about the MCU (because I’m not really an avid fan alright so those who will bash me please stay away) and I’ll be stating only the things that I know (corrections are welcome of course).

AGAIN this post contains SPOILERS about the Avengers: Endgame so please leave if you don’t wanna get spoiled 

Before I begin, All I want to say is wow I just started this freakin MCU craziness with the Avengers and now the original team is not gonna do a comeback anymore. Yahh you read it right because it is really the end. Tony Stark died, Steve Rogers gave the title to Falcon making him the next Captain America (which I heard that it should be Bucky but nevermind there might be surprises in the future), Black widow died, Thor joining the Guardians of the Galaxy (idk if permanently but in the end of endgame he is with the squad), Spiderman continuing his life  (He has a new movie of course cause Tom Holand is the new Peter Parker and  he need movies to go through before retiring yah know) and I don’t really know about Hulk. But I gotta say this last 2 installment of the franchise.. harsh.  

So why is it the end?

So Marvel had a lot of movie starting with Iron Man continuing with Captain America which was shown in the early 2010s then the new set was introduced starting with Black Panther (with the solo movies of course). And this seemed likely a new path for the Avengers. We had tons of superheroes in the Avengers but started with Captain America, Iron Man etc. and this epic conclusion says that its time, after years of being a lead to this superhero squad, its time that they should be passing the title to the new squad. Take Captain Marvel for example, she’s new right? new girl in town. But when you watch endgame she is just a supporting like literally appeared in the beginning and the ending of the movie, same with Doctor strange and Black Panther because they have future movies to be in that’s why they’re not present entirely in the movie (endgame and infinity war). And this suggest that they may be the future leads of the Avengers. 

Another point is, the actors are tired (want to retire) or the writers just want to finish it off and maybe the characters won’t be having a major role in the next few movies that’s why they died. Maybe they’ll cameo or have special appearance as different characters. Take Chris Evans for example, he appeared as torch guy in Fantastic Four (which is a marvel movie) and He became Captain America! (coincidence? nahh) So there might be possibilities but chances are low with the lead characters who just died although the actors can appear again with different role that they’ll be taking. 

Some characters died? 

Sad to say but there are tons of original leads who died. First is Loki at the beginning of Infinity War. Then Vision, since Thanos is claiming the Mind stone to him. We’ve got Gamora and Black Widow who died with the same reason, Iron Man who sacrificed himself and I am so mad because whyy he died  Captain America.. who didn’t really die however he just grew old and doesn’t fit to be a superhero anymore because duh he is old. So this clarifies that there won’t be a next after the endgame because they took out the major characters. And I’m not impressed about that. I haven’t read the comics and I think that some characters won’t really die and they just killed these characters in the movies because of certain reasons. 

Story time? 

I actually am not a fan of MCU. True that I know bits and pieces of the stories of some marvel movies like Spiderman (which I really know because I watched the movies of the original Spiderman  ehem Tobey Maguire) and Iron Man (all I know is he makes suit and wears them..) and Captain America (idk .. he is handsome?). I also watched some bits of Civil War, which where Cap and Iron Man build up their own teams to fight. And the Infinity War where I witnessed Loki dying (meh) and Thor which has a rough relationship with his brother. I witnessed these things even when I was a kid but you know I’m a girl and girls doesn’t have interest with these kind of things. Well yeah I do like super heroes when I was a kid (ehem Adventure Time ehem Teen Titans /which is in dc btw xD) but I was not focusing on these stuff because I’m busy with Barbie and stuff, can you blame me? Now the main thing is I’m not a fan like totally and before I don’t even know which heroes belong to DC / Marvel. But yesterday my dad is like we’re watching endgame and I don’t know what’s already happening in the timeline (though I know that Loki died meh) so yeah I watched Infinity War (about the infinity stones and the gauntlet) and did some research like the relationships and the backstories. I also watched some videos on youtube that explains 20 movies in one video. And it helped!

Some remarks..

If I were to rate Avengers: Endgame I would give it a  3.5 / 5

Reason: Well 3.5 isn’t bad right? Well I gotta say I’m too old for superheroes and it doesn’t give me that wow factor but I really like the fighting scenes. Especially the part where all the girl heroes assemble (without black widow :/) and fight those creepy gross monsters that Thanos brought to the future. I’m on the neutral side because I’ve expected more something like one of the superhero will be able to defeat Thanos or like its a one big fight between Thanos and the Avengers but that didn’t happen because Thanos himself destroyed the stone how stupid of that   and yeah I’ve expected that really but that would be a generic and lame ending (cliche like). But they should’ve done something more witty, unexpected not a time travel :/ which made me more confused. SO yeah they did a time travel and mess things up but Doctor Strange did something (idk about that I might read about that more when there’s more info about endgame that comes out) to bring back the vanished heroes and yay they win. But Iron Man died so no happy ending. They should’ve let the man live (in the comics he lived) and be with his family. One message that Marvel let people know, it’s not always about happy ending, sometimes it’s about reality even if we live in our fantasies, we still need to accept the truth about that. That sucks

One more remark, marvel movies isn’t for kids. I know that’s lame but yeah I feel like it’s for more mature audience than kids who doesn’t see things that much. But at lest they enjoy the cool stuff right?

If only Star- Lord did good life choices and resisted the angry feeling when he knew that Gamora was gone, Infinity War would be the last and there will be a happy ending.

This is a long stuff but I hope you enjoyed this long post :D

- Nabi

[megazeo]

As anyone who’s seen me previously speak on the subject already knows, I wasn’t really looking forward to the new Power Rangers movie. Ever since the first image of Elizabeth Banks’ Rita Repulsa was released, I “knew” the movie was doomed. Previous film adaptations that had redesigned its characters to such an extreme degree were The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Godzilla (1998), and X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Movies that were universally agreed to be horrible and insultingly unfaithful to their source material. It only got worse from there. Alpha 5 went from a cutesy robot to a terrifying little monkey-lizard. Goldar went from a main character to a silent, gold Godzilla. The Dino Zords somehow managed to look worse than the Michael Bay Dinobots.

To put it mildly, I was not looking forward to this.

But then the movie actually came out. Despite my initial concerns, I was hearing… good things about the movie? Literally everywhere I went, I heard how this was the movie Power Rangers fans had been waiting for, how it really did justice to the characters despite their redesigns, it was the best thing to come out of the franchise in years, and how it was just a good movie all around. In spite of myself, I started to get hopeful. Excited, even. After all, I didn’t want to dislike the movie. I didn’t want it to be bad. Maybe once I got past the awful redesigns, the movie actually was good. Yeah, Rita looked like some generic Syfy Channel villainess, but maybe she acted like Rita. I’d heard Elizabeth Banks was really hamming it up, and if anything describes Rita Repulsa, it’s hammy. So I put my opinions of the new designs aside. I already knew about them. They were no longer a surprise. I decided they were not going to ruin my enjoyment of the film. This wasn’t the same Power Rangers that I’d grown up with. This was new. I accepted that. I sat in the theater and soon Saban’s Power Rangers (2017) began.

I was stunned.

Out of all the complaints I could’ve had about this movie, I in no way expected it to be BORING.

CAST:

First off, let me say that the characters are well written and that the cast acts them very well. However, that being said, NONE of these characters - except for Billy and, to a slightly lesser degree, Trini - ARE LIKEABLE. Jason is an unhappy, rebellious teen… for some reason? His father wants him to do well in life, but he doesn’t seem to ever really venture into “overachieving asshole parent” territory, so I’m not entirely sure what Jason is rebelling unhappily against. Kimberly is legitimately a HORRIBLE person, spreading a classmate’s nude picture around school. Like, it’s nice that she feels bad about it later, but she’s still nevertheless a HORRIBLE person. And then she says “Serves you right!” when the girl almost gets killed by molten Goldar blood later in the movie because… Kimberly said she was sorry so I guess that makes the other girl a bitch now. Zack is literally just a loudmouth asshole, but I guess we’re supposed to like him/feel sorry for him because he has a sick mother? Billy, as I said before, is the most likeable member of the team, a kind soul who just wants the group to come together and be superheroes. I don’t know why he had to be on the spectrum, exactly. I’m not badmouthing it, or even saying I disliked it, really. It’s done really tastefully and never presented as a bad thing, which is great, it just kinda feels like “This ain’t the ‘90s anymore, yay relevance!” Like, why couldn’t he just be smart and unpopular? Is that not a thing anymore? Trini literally shows up well after everyone else has been fully established and her introduction totally reeks of afterthought, as if the screenwriters suddenly remembered “Oh, wait, there are five teenagers, aren’t there?” That said, once introduced, Trini does become a really interesting character with some actual motivation behind her “teenager with attitude"ness.

To sum up, despite some serious missteps, the Rangers are nevertheless fleshed out and acted well, turning them from the cardboard cutouts of the TV show to some well-rounded, flawed characters. So what was my problem with this story of angsty teenage drama, exactly? It never stopped. This movie was SO busy fleshing out the Rangers that it forgot to do anything Power Rangers-related until roughly the LAST TWENTY MINUTES OF THE MOVIE.

PLOT/PACING/EDITING:

The cliff-jumping scene lasts way too long. As do the “Wait, we all have powers!” scenes as they wake up the next morning after finding the Coins. There are at least three, possibly up to five, different instances of the Rangers standing in a circle, staring sadly at each other, saying “We don’t know each other very well, but we all have shitty lives, so maybe we should come together and be Power Rangers so we can finally have a family.” ALL IN COMPLETELY SEPARATE SCENES. And then we have what feels like twenty minutes of Zordon and Alpha training the Rangers, which is essentially just “Ow, being hit by rocks hurts” over and over. And then one of the Rangers finally succeeds in morphing, so Zordon gets pissed off and tells them all to GTFO…? Now don’t get me wrong, I understand why he gets angry - How can Billy have morphed without knowing how? Time is of the essence. But they should have worked up to Zordon getting to that point. Jason: “Billy just morphed!” Zordon: “What? That’s excellent! Finally, you Rangers are showing some progress! Billy, why don’t you go ahead and tell the others how you did it?” Billy: “…I don’t know how I did it.” Zordon: “…What?” Billy: “I don’t know how I morphed.” Zordon: “What do you mean, you don’t know how you morphed? How is that even possible?!” Billy: “I don’t know, it just happened!” Zordon: “That does it! We don’t have time for this!” This way, the movie shows him becoming understandably frustrated, instead of just blowing up like a temperamental asshole.

This movie drags its feet to an unbelievable level. The scene where the Rangers fight Rita on the docks? That should have happened 30 - 40 minutes into the movie, not right before the final fight of a 2+ hour film. And the fight is shrouded in darkness, reducing Rita and the Rangers to silhouettes, like this is some no-budget direct-to-video movie using darkness to hide its lack of budget. But hey, at least there’s that awesome rematch later where the Rangers fight Rita again after they get their powers, showing how strong they are as a fully powered team… What’s that? That never happens? ARE YOU SERIOUS? This is one of the most basic rules of superhero movies - the hero(es) and the villain(s) have to fight at some point! But hey, at least there’s the really awesome fight scene where the Rangers… fight the Putties. For about ninety seconds.

Let me repeat that: The Power Rangers appear for the first time with roughly twenty minutes of movie left, fight the Redshirts for about a minute and a half, and then the entire rest of the film is Zord action. If you’ve seen the trailers, you’ve pretty much seen all of the Rangers’ non-Zord screen time.

This is even worse than Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, which featured no fight between the Rangers and Ivan Ooze, but at least had that one good, long fight against the Oozemen at the construction site. Can you imagine if they made a Batman or Avengers movie where the costumed hero appeared for that short a time and only at the very end and never fought the main villain? People would flip their shit.

Also… We get the prologue with Zordon and Rita, then Jason’s introduction with the cow… And then the title? Shouldn’t that have been prologue, title, Jason? That’s such a weird choice.

TONE:

I get it. This isn’t the same kiddie TV show as before. This ain’t your Daddy’s Power Rangers. This is a big budget blockbuster with big boy special effects and biting teen angst!

But holy shit, this whole movie is just so grim and ugly and dark and depressing. There is no beacon of hope, visually or metaphorically. The teens are all awful people aside from Billy, Zordon is an asshole, Alpha is hideous, the Zords look just as ugly as the monsters they fight, the Power Rangers themselves are all dark and overly complicated and bio organic looking (like some sort of deformed love child of Iron Man and the Xenomorphs). The lesson the Rangers need to learn in order to unlock their suits is literally “Stop being assholes, both to each other and in general.” There are no friendly faces in a situation (and franchise) that badly calls out for one. Trini’s mother is psychotic in a scene that was presented as comedic in the trailer - She apparently had a urine sample cup ready and waiting at the dinner table, though thankfully, unlike Dawn of Justice, at least this one goes unfilled. Rita Repulsa, intergalactic sorceress and former Green Ranger, starts causing havoc, but instead of creating monsters and blowing up buildings and demanding that the people of Earth bow to her whim, SHE SPENDS THE FIRST THIRD OF THE FILM MURDERING HOBOS AND POLICEMEN.

THERE IS LITERALLY A NEWS REPORT ABOUT THE “GOLDEN SERIAL KILLER” PLAGUING ANGEL GROVE.

JESUS CHRIST, IS THIS STILL A FAMILY FILM?

This is one of the film’s biggest problems. There are some nice scenes, a few funny lines, and some cool special effects, but at no point does the film really feel fun.

“POWER RANGERS” STUFF:

Oddly, every time an actual name or term from the show was spoken, it brought me out of the movie in a similar fashion as when one of the original cast members cameoed in Ghostbusters (2016). “Putties.” “Alpha 5.” “Rita Repulsa.” “Angel Grove.” “Zeo Crystal.” Oh, right, I’m watching a movie about Power Rangers. I forgot.

And why are the Putties called “Putties?” In the show they’re called Putties because they’re made out of putty. Clay. Here, they’re dirt, rocks, and occasionally concrete. And why are the Putties such a big threat? They range from human sized to fifteen feet tall with six arms and shit. If they wanted some big monster-y things for the Rangers to beat up on why not throw in Eye Guy or King Sphinx or Pumpkin Rapper or something?

I feel like Zordon and Alpha’s voices should’ve been altered a bit. Zordon is a giant computer head whose voice fills the entire ship, so to hear Bryan Cranston’s normal voice come out of him was just weird. Similarly, Bill Hader’s untouched voice didn’t quite fit a tiny “cute” character like Alpha. I’m not saying make them quite as deep/high pitched as in the show, but a slight adjustment would have been nice.

The Power Coins are never shown up close, meaning we never see the dinosaur symbols on them, and so they literally just look like rocks with colored gel bits in the middle. They’re more Power Medallions than Coins.

“I’ll be back for the Crystal! Others will come for the Crystal!” Oh, God, please don’t tell me that every villain’s motivation now is just gonna be “I want the Zeo Crystal.”

I like how they got rid of Bulk and Skull, only to give Billy a bully anyway. Apparently having two bullies would’ve been confusing.

ZORDON, RITA, AND ALPHA:

I like how they go and give Zordon and Rita this big intertwined history - He was the Red Ranger, she was the Green. She betrayed their team and everything went to shit. A big deal was made about this leading up to the film. - and then absolutely none of it matters beyond the opening scene. There’s no “Anakin vs. Obi-Wan” dynamic at all. Zordon doesn’t seem sad about going up against his former teammate, Rita doesn’t have a moment of hesitation at any point, there’s no scene of Rita breaking into the Command Center and the two of them having bitter words with one another. Rita used to be the Green Ranger and… that’s it we’re done with that now.

Speaking of Rita being the Green Ranger (as opposed to simply her history with Zordon), that never really goes anywhere, either. Yeah, she uses the Dragon Coin to charge her wand, but that could’ve just been Rita doing her usual magic spell stuff. She didn’t need to be the Green Ranger for anything she does in the film. At no point does she do anything Green Ranger-y. She doesn’t attempt to summon the Dragonzord. She doesn’t fire an energy blast from her wand that has some cool dragon head effect at the tip of it. There’s no “Only a Power Ranger can access the Zeo Crystal,” which would be bad because Rita is one. This, combined with the lack of any actual interaction between her and Zordon as mentioned above, results in there being literally no reason for her to be the Green Ranger.

I mean, why does Rita not morph? There is never anything said at any point in the movie like she’s too weak to morph, or the Dragon Coin is damaged, or she lost her Morpher in the meteor blast (does this universe even have Morphers?), or she’s evolved past the need for Zordon’s silly Ranger suits, or anything like that. So why doesn’t she actually morph into the full Green Ranger at any point to fight the Rangers? “You’re so silly!” you may be thinking. “Not everything has to be packed into this one movie alone. That’s what the sequels are for!” Except, no, it’s not. If there was a film to actually explore and properly utilize the “Rita is the Green Ranger” plot, it was this one. In future movies, villain-wise, we’re gonna be introducing and dealing with Lord Zedd or King Mondo or whoever. Sure, Rita will probably still be around and team up with Zedd or something, but by then Tommy is going to be the Green Ranger (or Tammy, if the cast has their way). The time for “Green Ranger Rita” has passed.

I feel like Zordon and Alpha desperately needed a scene of their own. Every scene they’re in, they’re either instructing or yelling at or reacting to the Rangers, but they needed a moment to just be characters by themselves. Especially after Zordon loses his shit and the Rangers have their little campfire chat. Alpha: “Zordon, they… They’re trying, y'know? This is a huge thing we’re asking of them. They’re just kids.” Zordon: *sigh* “I know they are. I shouldn’t have yelled at them. I just… I don’t want what happened to my team to happen to them.”

Also, and I will totally chalk this one up to personal preference, but it felt weird with Alpha calling Zordon “Master.” Nothing wrong with it, necessarily, it just felt off to me.

Also also, the Rangers clearly need a strong emotional bond in order to unlock their suits, which Zordon hopes they achieve by punching hologram Putties…?

ALSO also also, was Rita not imprisoned? Like, in any fashion? Wasn’t there an image released of Rita (in her modern Green not-quite-a-Ranger suit) trapped in crystal or something? Wasn’t she sealed away along with the Power Coins? I thought the Rangers were supposed to free her or something. This leads into another issue…

The Rangers and Rita have nothing to do with each other. What I mean is, the Rangers mess around in the quarry and stumble upon the Power Coins by pure chance. Meanwhile, Rita is accidentally dredged up out of the ocean by some fishermen. The problem is… These are two completely unrelated events. The Rangers aren’t called to the Coins because Rita is nearing. Rita doesn’t wake up because the Power Coins are activated. They are literally just two things that coincidentally happen at the same time. What if the fishermen were fishing in a different area that day and the teens got the Power Coins for no reason? What if the teens decided to not hack into that crystal and pull out the Power Coins, but the fishermen still pulled Rita out of the ocean? These are both legitimately things that could have happened. There’s no predestined “The Coins found you because Rita is coming” or anything. The teens stumble upon the Coins and the fishermen stumble upon Rita.

And finally, the Megazord backhands Rita into outer space (which, I will admit, was hilarious and awesome). But then the Rangers just go about their day. They don’t say anything about her. Zordon and Alpha don’t say anything about her. Do they think she just disintegrated when the Megazord slapped her? They didn’t even recover the Dragon Coin, did they? Do they know where she is? Are they just assuming she’s going to be back at some point? For all they know, she’s somewhere on Earth, alive and active, raising an army of Goldars.

GOLDAR:

I will admit, this entire bit is simply “What I would’ve done instead,” but I feel like this one is worth mentioning.

There is literally no reason for Goldar to be reduced to a voiceless kaiju. They could have told the same story while keeping him much more akin to his television counterpart: Rita creates Goldar much earlier in the film, in the jewelry shop sequence. He’s the one that kills the police officer, not a Putty. Rita: “It’s good to see you again, old friend.” Goldar: “It is an honor to serve you once more, my Empress.” Later, when the Rangers arrive for the final battle, Rita simply makes Goldar grow. He still gets his ass beaten by the Megazord, but instead of dying, he merely shrinks back to human size. When Rita gets smacked into outer space, Goldar panics and follows, flying after her. This keeps Goldar faithful to his character while literally telling the exact same story the movie wanted to tell, and also keeping Goldar (one of the franchise’s main villains) alive for future appearances. They could’ve even used the same “chocolate fountain” design.

THE ZORDS:

But you know, as much as I dislike Rita and Goldar’s redesigns, they at least serve a purpose, story-wise. Rita has the skintight green suit because she used to be the Green Ranger. Goldar is a big messy blob kaiju because Rita hastily creates him out of molten gold. But the Megazord… The Megazord is quite possibly the most ugly, unappealing, least cool/awesome/badass-looking giant robot to ever be conceived in all of cinema history, from either the U.S. or Japan… And there is absolutely no reason for it. The Zords weren’t hastily thrown together by Alpha at the last minute. They weren’t in the middle of altering their appearance into dinosaurs and then got interrupted or lost interest or something. They just look like shit.

As far as the individual Dino Zords go, the Tyrannosaurus doesn’t look too bad. The Triceratops is okay, kind of. I can make out the horns occasionally. The Sabertooth Tiger and the Mastodon are always moving around so quickly that I can never make them out successfully. I can’t even really complain about the Mastodon’s eight spider legs because the damn thing was always jumping around so fast I couldn’t see the legs, I couldn’t see the trunk, I couldn’t see the tusks. For most of the movie it looked like Zack was piloting a big black aspirin. The Pterodactyl was just this big pink… thing in the sky. Did it even have a head?

And I’m sorry, but they’re way too small. Size wise, they’re essentially tanks on legs. They should not be smaller than a noticeable majority of the buildings around them (most of which are of the single story, small town, “mom and pop store” variety) and they should most certainly not be in danger of being overwhelmed by the Putties. Zords are supposed to be gigantic, not “kinda big.”

And then, in the middle of the climactic Zord fight, basically the moment the entire movie has been leading up to, the film suddenly gets massively, inexcusably, infuriatingly lazy. As bad as the Zords look, I was at least looking forward to seeing how they all come together. After all, looking at the Dino Zords, then at the Megazord, I honestly had no idea how they all came together and formed their various Megazord parts. Well, apparently, the filmmakers couldn’t figure it out, either. The Dino Zords fall into a hole, there’s a cloud of smoke and dust, and then the Megazord walks out of the cloud, fully formed. I was absolutely stunned at the complete and utter lack of giving a shit when it came to this sequence. Debatably one of the world’s most iconic combining robots AND IT DOESN’T COMBINE ONSCREEN? Can you imagine if you watched the first Transformers movie and Optimus Prime never transformed?! There’s a single extreme close up of some gears turning or something, but that’s it, and even that is mostly obscured by smoke and fire. Even Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie gave us a Megazord combination sequence and that thing barely had a better budget than an Asylum movie!

Also, this seems to be the first time Rita has ever seen a Megazord. But… it can’t be, right? Surely this can’t be the first time the Megazord has been formed. Surely Rita and Zordon know about Megazords.

“GO GO POWER RANGERS” AND THE SOUNDTRACK:

So, they use “Go Go Power Rangers” in the movie, which is awesome. The same version from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, even. While it was really cool in a Easter egg sort of way, there are two problems with this.

1) We don’t get anything else. There’s no new “Go Go Power Rangers 2017 Version.” They literally could not bother recording a new version of the franchise’s main theme for their big budget blockbuster feature film adaptation. They literally just used a twenty two year old track for about thirty seconds.

2) Does the movie play “Go Go Power Rangers,” the team’s triumphant, ass-kicking theme song, when the Rangers morph for the first time? When they fight the Putties? When they fight Goldar? When they form the Megazord? When they kill Goldar? When they bitchslap Rita into the stratosphere? No. We get it as the Zords run from Point A to Point B.

Thrilling.

What makes it even worse is that they play a rather awesome sounding orchestral version of the theme during the end credits, after the mid-credit sequence. This rendition would’ve been amazing to hear as the Megazord fights and slays Goldar.

In a slightly unrelated note: Power Rangers, particularly MMPR, is known for having a rockin’, kick ass soundtrack. This movie’s soundtrack is all sad, slow shit. WTF? I’m not saying it should’ve been filled with covers of “I Will Win” and “We Need A Hero,” but SOME rock songs would’ve been nice. Literally every song in the film sounded like its own sad, depressing cover version.

THINGS I DID LIKE:

The cast really does well with their roles. Jason interacting with Billy was done really well, as was Jason and Kimberly’s “Let’s just up and leave this shit hole town” scene.

I don’t know if it was intentional, but when the cow roars at Jason at the start, it’s the same sound effect the TV show used for the Tyrannosaurus Dinozord.

Alpha being Billy’s “training dummy” as he practiced fighting. It was a nice little moment that I could see happening with the original characters.

Trini and Kimberly’s little lunch training session at the diner. I ship it.

Zordon reciting the classic three rules of being Power Rangers to the teens. Honestly, it stuns me that they not only remembered them, but bothered using them.

Rita enjoying a donut as Goldar destroys the city.

The Rangers forming the Megazord for the first time… And then not knowing how to pilot it, so they fall over.

The Megazord bitchslapping Rita into outer space. That was classic stupid goofy MMPR.

THINGS I SHOULD’VE LIKED BUT DIDN’T:

The aforementioned use of “Go Go Power Rangers.” It was nice to hear, but it was way too little and most certainly not the wisest use of the theme if they could apparently only use it once.

“Make my monster grow!” Uhh… he’s already giant when she says that. He’s a permanently giant monster. The line makes no sense. “I’m at the corner of Mariner Bay and Reefside…” Again, I appreciate the Easter egg, but it was just so clunky with its reference-ness. Maybe if it had been said in a news report or something.

The cameos by Amy Jo Johnson and Jason David Frank. Not that they shouldn’t have made cameos, it just felt like it was left over from a different, more fun film. “Hey, look, it’s the original Tommy and Kimberly!” feels severely out of place when shoved into the middle of this grim and gritty teen drama. That’s actually a problem with a lot of the Power Rangers elements in this film - They feel out of place in their own movie.

The mid-credit sequence. Really? They’re planning five sequels to this shit and the best they can do is a green shirt? No hints or tease for Lord Zedd, Master Vile, the Machine Empire, Divatox, Dark Specter, the Dragonzord, the Thunder Zords, the Ninja Zords, Saba, the Alien Rangers, Ninjor, Lt. Stone, nothing? We’re not even really allowed to enjoy the Tommy tease because it’s immediately interrupted by “lol, Billy blew up his locker again.”

OTHER THINGS:

Joseph Kahn, Adi Shankar, and Jil Hardin should look into a plagiarism suit because the opening of this movie is almost verbatim the opening of POWER/RANGERS. It even has the exact same establishing shot of the Red Ranger’s helmet laying on the charred ground, with death and destruction happening in the background.

“Send the meteor to my coordinates!” Wait, what? Zordon and/or Alpha can cast Meteor? What is this meteor? What does it do? It can’t be Zordon’s ship/the Command Center, because he wouldn’t call that “the meteor,” he’d call it “my ship.” Zordon buries the Power Coins on his own, so it doesn’t help with that, either. I guess it just kinda knocks Rita into the sea? And maybe kills the dinosaurs? Good job? I freely admit that this is an oddly specific thing to focus on, but what was up with that slim, “independent film” title, shoved way off into the corner? Where was the big block letter logo with the lightning bolt in the middle, smack dab in the middle of the screen, optionally accompanied by an instrumental “Go Go Power Rangers” riff? The trailers got this right, why change it?

They actually used the idea of the Rangers’ helmets opening up and revealing their faces, a la Iron Man. This was an idea they originally had for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie back in 1995, but scrapped it because it looked stupid, deciding that their helmets should be, y’know, helmets. I don’t understand why they brought this idea back, as it doesn’t suddenly look better just because it’s 2017. Not to mention it allows the movie to do the “Can’t keep the stars’ faces covered for too long!” thing that always ruins climactic fights in superhero movies. It was so awkward and obvious whenever they’d state the Rangers’ full names. It was like the movie was making a point for everyone in the audience to know what their last names were. This wouldn’t be a problem except the only Ranger they don’t do this with is Trini (who clearly is not a “Kwan”) and it’s really noticeable. “JASON SCOTT!” “KIMBERLY HART!” “BILLY CRANSTON!” “ZACK TAYLOR!” “…and Trini.” The fact that Krispy Kreme was literally a plot point and central location in this film is beyond stupid. It was the level of product placement in a movie you’d expect to see from someone making fun of product placement in movies. Couldn’t the location of the Zeo Crystal have been the Youth Center? The Krispy Kreme could just be a business next door, or Ernie could’ve been doing a little promotional “Come buy Kripsy Kreme fruit smoothie donuts!” It kinda made me regret getting those PR donuts a little bit, truth be told. I thought it was just a fun little promotional thing, I didn’t realize Krispy Kreme had a supporting role in the film.

BOTTOM LINE:

Takes far, far too long for anything Power Rangers-related to happen. Yes, Zordon and Alpha are in the movie a lot, but they alone can’t carry the entire film.

No real sense of fun at any point.

The Power Rangers elements feel out of place in their own film.

The biggest problem with this movie is that the filmmakers had absolutely no sense of proportion, ratio, or balance. The teens and their characterization were great, but they took over the entire movie, while the actual Power Rangers elements were shoved into the corner and all but forgotten about until there was almost no time left to do anything with them. It was 85% teen angst and 15% Power Rangers when it needed to be 60% teen angst, 40% Power Rangers. Or, Heaven forbid, maybe even 50/50. It felt like the filmmakers were all “Shit, there are five more of these things coming. Let’s get all the characterization out of the way now so the sequels can be Power Rangers kung fu fun out the wazoo!” But that’s no way to make a film. What happens if something goes askew and this series goes the way of Divergent? What if the series is suddenly cancelled at some point and they never actually get around to what the hell the entire point of the franchise was? Even the MCU, which has movies planned until roughly 2055, still tells a complete story and gives their titular heroes plenty of time to shine in each individual film. This movie felt like a really good first draft that, while promising, was still in some serious need of going over and editing/rewriting. As it is, it feels like a Power Rangers film that has absolutely no interest in being a Power Rangers film.