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#there is sadness too because I still can't understand what the fuck is happening and why everything Din did is being undone
capricioussun · 3 months
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ohhh glitchfell???
Glitchfell!!! It's funny you mention that specifically, because originally it had just been to separate Dos specifically, but I've actually been developing it on its own on the back burner...
Dos is still sort of the star of the show, since, well, he’s the reason it's glitchfell. Dos is [REDACTED]. However, his creator made a fatal flaw when trying to fix a previous mistake and it completely fucked Dos' code. At first, it was just minor glitching and stat instability. But as he got older, and the attempts to fix the mistake only continued making it worse (sort of), by the time he was a young teen, the glitching was causing problems in the Main Code, so when a particularly bad episode hit, he unintentionally collapsed the timeline and threw himself to a "neighboring" au.
...or so he thought (and how I'd initially written it lol).
But I've been working with, at least an alternate "timeline", where the au didn't actually collapse when Dos was thrown. Rather, it became corrupted. It wasn't too bad at first, more like Glitchedswap, where there were new tics here and there, but things could continue on as normal.
Unfortunately though, a tree cannot grow from a severely damaged trunk. At least not well. The damage was done, and as time went on, the corruptions only continuously worsened. There's a good likelihood it would have collapsed on its own by the time Dos met Void, there's just no way an au like that could sustain itself after a point, but it's incredibly interesting to think about how far it could've fallen before that point, and if it's possible anyone from it could've been saved before then...
Or if anyone would've put them out of their misery before it got so bad.
#I wanna make fucked up designs for all of them so bad </3#it's like. really sad too bc no one really understands what's going on. at first they don't even realize. and then they just start getting#confused. sans of course picks up on it immediately (especially because he can't find papyrus) but eventually him and Alphys are trying#desperately to figure out what's happening and stop it. but it was already too bad by that point </3#id love to explore scenarios like Dos finding out it's still around way later down be line only to return and see everything completely#*shattered*. broken beyond the point of reason. and knowing it was his fault. would've been better if it *had* collapsed#or finding out about it after the fact and realizing Void had known and kept it from him#maybe Void had found it after meeting Dos and checking. but finding it in such a horrible state...all he *could do to help them would be...#and Dos finding that out? that Void never told him he found it? that he *manually* collapsed it after he did?#MAN. that'd be so fucked up#Dos would be able to come around eventually but he'd be SO furious and hurt#and that's 100% the kind of thing Void would do lmao#maybe not even initially tbth. the whole thing with Dos stretches out over *several* years. there's a chance Void honestly just forgot by#the next time he re-met Dos#ough...#uselessundertalefacts#ty for the ask sorry for hijacking it with Void#well. only in the tags. still tho#🌟❕💗#clear sky sunset#sun spots#gf dos#glitchfell#glitchfell papyrus
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sherlock-is-ace · 4 days
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#i doubt i'll be able to sleep now because i am full or rage right now and i want to go murder my father#that said... i am feeling better than last night when i couldn't pinpoint my emotions lol#last night i was worried i wasn't sad/worried enough and thus not normal#tonight i'm planning murder so i know i can still feel shit sjnfjsg#anyways my entire body is boiling hot and my head hurts now so that's not fun but whatever#i wish death upon my father and my uncle can go eat shit too (although I have no proof to justify those feelings lol)#i have no family... none#my aunt and uncle from one side are the shittiest people i have ever met and their son is a monster#my father is the most pathetic little worm on the face of the earth who sometimes manages to conjure up feelings in me#feelings of hate and rage#my uncle on that side is another pathetic little useless man who doesn't really conjure up any feelings in me#my grandma is dying but even when she was alive she had what i can only assume were mental health problems which made her push everyone away#the rest of the grandparents are dead#the only woman in my family who had some amount of kindness and love was my grandma from my stupid ass father's side#and i sadly didn't appreciate her enough while she was living :/#that's it... the only loving kind and understanding people left are my mom and my brother...#it's us three against the fucking world huh?#fuck that's depressing...#anyways...#i'm gonna try to distract myself with other shit until I can't be awake anymore#fingers crossed that happens soon (and that i die in my sleep)#angel talks#personal
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Hey! I saw your reply to that anon ask about mandalorian, and i gotta say i agree with your view. There is something different in season 3 that i couldnt really explain, but you managed to put it into words. The past seasons feel character driven, while this season is more plot driven.
Honestly, i didnt have high expectations, because the ending of season 2 feels conclusive, so i dont know what theyre going to do after that. And when they said that din wont be the main focus of season 3, i felt a bit sad about it haha. I was thinking that maybe we're gonna explore more of din's identity crisis or something like that. But uhhhh idk. I have thoughts and emotions that i cant put into words. I hope you understand what im saying here lmao
Y'know, in hindsight - and can I really say so when we still have an episode left of Season 3, a whole ass Season 4, and however many seasons left until the Disneyfied Thrawn Trilogy Movie? - I feel comfortable saying that Din's story should've ended in Season 2 and he never should've gotten the Darksaber. I also want to argue that he got the Darksaber because Favloni did have plans for him, specifically, until something (Ahsoka and the Thrawn Trilogy and a movie) happened that made them decide to pivot hard into propping up Bo-Katan, whitewashing and sanitizing her backstory, and giving her all of Din's possible storylines. I mean, what did she really do over a season that made her better than Din, who lost everything saving Grogu from Gideon and finding a Jedi who could take him in?
Din was left alone on the bridge of Gideon's cruiser with Bo-Katan and Koska. He is truly alone. Does he follow them back to Bo-Katan's fleet, a CotW among others who don't trust him and his covert? Does he start his search for the Armorer and survivors of Nevarro? Din showed his face to another living being. What does his crisis of faith look like? We saw a glimpse of that in TBOBF; he wasn't doing too hot and then he was banished from his covert and told hwo to atone for his sins. We could've had a multi-episode arc following his journey to Mandalore and visiting the history of Mandalore and its desecration by the Empire. We could have seen him waver in his faith, struggling between what he believed and what he experienced and all the ways they intersect and conflict. Din won the Darksaber in combat. He now holds an ancient Mandalorian Jedi weapon that the Mandalorian diaspora now say marks him as Mand'alor (or the best candidate for Mand'alor). Does he grow into this role using his experience and skills earned as a bounty hunter and his covert's provider, or does he choose to surrender it to somebody else because he never wanted and still does not want the power and authority that comes with the title? Does he ever see Grogu again? Is Grogu doing well? How will they reunite? Well, TBOBF answered all those questions and we just have to accept they're back together at the start of Season 3.
Thse are just some of so many potential character-driven and character-centric stories that I'm never seeing in canon now. He's been wallflowered, pushed into the background, Bo-Katan's newest and biggest supporter in her so-called redemption arc even though you wouldn't fucking know that her redemption arc maybe should've included some mention of what she fucking did in the Clone Wars and the fucking Season 3 logo features Din and Grogu front and center.
(A lot of newer merch I see at the Disney Store, Heroes & Villains, Her Universe, etc. now feature multiple Mandalorians and Mandalorian helmets, so maybe that was a giveaway that we are following more Mandalorians now... and I am still forever struggling to find decent Din Djarin merch that puts him front and center. Fuck me, I guess)
I truly wonder what kind of Season 3 we could've gotten if Favloni, Kennedy, and Disney decided not to MCU-fy Filoni's precious darlings, if we were allowed to follow Din the way we did in the first two seasons. You could bring him back to the covert without losing him to the crowd. You could have him cross paths with Bo-Katan again and have her play a more significant role in his journey(s) without taking all of the spotlight.
I did have high expectations after Season 2, Anon, but once TBOBF came out, i realized I was fucked. And, well. Here we are.
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cultofcipher · 2 months
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Bill Cipher thoughts (BoB Spoilers Ahead)
I'm really sitting on how Bill's displayed so much of himself indirectly in the BoB. How during the Love section he denies having exes, marking them out. How said exes show up SEVERAL times scratched out or are regarded with this bitterness of someone who did NOT do the breaking up part. Bill got dumped. Every time. And is desperately trying to bury his feelings.
And that's something I think the Book of Bill really highlights in a way. The fact that Bill has feelings. That deep down he's a broken triangle. It's all over the book's writing. Him pointing out how to use denial and rationalization and other bad coping mechanisms to basically ignore and lie to himself (and show us how to do it) and basically convince himself that he is as heartless as he tries to be. Him avoiding his exes. The tone he uses and the avoidance really giving the "I don't handle breakups well and I'm still petty about it". Him constantly telling himself that he's fine. He's not fine. Him crying over Ford leaving and getting wasted. Him being bitter about the henchmaniacs not calling. His regret over what happened to his world. His loneliness. GOD his loneliness. His self-hatred. His scathing remark about definitely NOT having some tragic backstory that humanizes him and how he's not an "I can fix him case". Calling himself a monster. His longing for home. The "Last one breathing". The "I tried to change the past". The "my hands shaking, as I realized I could never undo the". The "until there was no one left but me, covered in blood, alone in the universe". The goddamn "I don't want to die alone" Valentine's card. The last few pages. Just, the last few pages. That isolation, his pained "I'M FINE". The almost sad plea for someone to let him out.
Bill cares. He's fucked up, unstable, violent. But he does care about people he gets along with and he feels understand him. For every "I'm just playing the bit" and using people with nice gestures, I think a fraction of that is somewhat genuine. And he hates it. He hates his own vulnerability. He hates his lack of apathy. He's denying himself his own emotions constantly under so many layers of distractions, eldritch horrors, and repression. He can't think about home, about failure, about how every relationship he's ever had, platonically or otherwise, ended. And it wasn't on his terms.
Him talking about/to his mom when he's drunk. How his mom called him Billy as a kid. How his home life sounded simple. How Bill as an individual is anything BUT simple. And how his drunken state holds such fondness for that simplicity, yet it was suffocating. How he would've broken free eventually, inevitably, because he knew that's who he was. It's his nature. He was destined for more.
How it cost him everything.
How he's constantly chasing insanity like it's a drug. Like he needs the power trip to stay high. To not think too hard. To drown out his emotions and his self-reflections and everything he hates about himself.
How in Gravity Falls he still tried to get Ford to side with him after everything, cause that was his vulnerability showing, for the slightest glimpse of a moment. Cause he doesn't want to do it alone. Him reaching out to the reader in his book, because he doesn't want to do it alone. Can't do it alone. Even when he eventually betrays that person, I think him offering Ford that cushy spot alongside his henchmaniacs makes me think that yeah, Bill actually would've upheld his end of the deal.
He thinks he wants multiversal domination. He thinks Weirdmageddon is his Magnum Oppus. His purpose. But he's so lost. If he ever does get what he wants, he won't know what to do with himself. He'll be faced with the "Now what?". He'll hit the end of the road and realize how unsatisfying it is. How this isn't what he wanted.
How lonely it is to be God.
I think the Axolotl sees that in Bill. It's why he doesn't try to destroy him or attack him or anything. He sees that inner self of Bill. Sees him for what he really is. Someone who needs a LOT of therapy, a true, honest to goodness friend or partner in his life, and maybe a more sustainable life purpose or hobby. He has so much potential and in a way his pursuit of power, rather than being an actualization of his abilities, is a waste of them, because it gets him nowhere.
And he needs help, even if he doesn't think he does. He's a depressed alcoholic frat boy trying to drown his misery in a way that hurts and kills worlds. He's a girlfailure, a bisexual/pansexual disaster (he's at LEAST canonically bisexual or at MOST canonically pan cause this guy has dated both ways).
Bill's book is so incredibly amazing for what it is. All the lies, all the unrealiable narrator parts of Bill's facades and flaws and him being himself and all of his genuine thoughts and feelings bleeding through the lines and showing themselves but only in a way that you can really understand if you understand him and can tell when he's lying and when he's not. To see the real parts of him, and everything else. This book was perfect, and it was perfectly imperfectly him. This truly is Bill's book. It's so him in such a raw and genuine yet dishonest way. I'm gonna cherish this damn book forever.
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shdysders · 8 months
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mistake
pairing: tara carpenter & female reader
summary: in which tara makes a mistake she can't undo
word count: 3.4k
warnings: violence, blood, stabbing, blood & death.
author’s note: feel like my writing is deteriorating, so sorry this might not be the greatest.
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When you heard that Mindy and Ethan had been separated from the rest of the group, you immediately knew nothing was going to go according to the plan.
Everything had happened so fast. First accusation news about Sam had streamed on television, then Quinn's bloody corpse had fallen on top of you, then Anika wasn't able to make it across the latter, her bloody hands and Ghostface's shaking had made her slip. You had lost two of your friends in less than fifteen minutes.
You hadn't heard of the killings in Woodsboro until you had met Tara the first day of junior year, but she made sure to tell you everything that had happened the closer the two of you got.
Based on everything you had heard, you understood why Sam was so protective over Tara, the Carpenter sisters had been through more than normal people have in a lifetime.
However, even though you were nothing but nice and understanding towards Sam, she didn't seem to like you.
The first time Tara had brought you home to the apartment, Sam had kept a burning gaze on you for the whole time, like she wanted to burn you alive.
You thought that she would warm up and eventually trust you like she seemed to do with Anika, Quinn and Ethan, but she never did.
And it only got worse once Tara had called you her girlfriend in front of her, a huge disagreement broke out, so big that Sam had sent you out of the apartment.
You never got to know what Sam had said after that, but you did know that the glares you got from Sam only worsened and so did the small comments she would make about you when she thought you didn't hear.
Such as now, when Sam and Tara were walking in front of you, the theater being the destination. You had this gut feeling that Sam was currently talking about you. You just knew she was, even tho you couldn't hear her voice nor did you see her head moving like it normally did when she spoke, you knew.
But your mind changed thoughts when she rapidly turned on her heel, stopping when she was in front of Danny who had been walking closely behind you, alongside Kirby.
"Not you." She said, her voice cracking.
"What?" He answered almost immediately, like he had been expecting it.
"Don't trust anyone remember?" Sam replied.
You watched the scene with worried eyes, what Sam said reminded you way too much of something she had told Tara when she thought you weren't near. "We don't know you.. not really."
His face expression looked hurt, almost taken aback when Sam spoke. "You know me."
"You're not Woodsboro." She spoke quickly, rage lacing her voice.
Tara looked down at her shoes after that was said, her lips finding a home between her teeth. You knew she was scared, because you were as well. You had no idea how things were going to go down, you had never experienced something as brutal like this before.
You were seconds away from putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, before she looked up at you with tears pricking her eyes.
"That goes for you too." She swallows thickly, trying her hardest to look into your eyes.
You furrowed your eyebrows, panic rising through you. "W-what?" Your voice came out as a stutter, not believing what she had just made it's way out of her mouth.
Tara just nodded unsurely, her eyes looked sad and were filled with doubt. You couldn't understand why. If she was sad about it, why would she say it?
"Tara I- you can't be serious." You spoke again, voice growing shakier by the minute.
She knew very well how terrified you were about the situation as it was, and yet she still chose to leave you out of the plan alongside Sam's unknown fuck buddy? If it didn't make you shake out of fear you would've been infuriated.
"You're not Woodsboro." She stated, same thing as her sister but in a different tone, she'd tried to sound calm, but her voice was filled with uncertainty, shaky with worry.
You knew she was right. You weren't Woodsboro. You had never been to the place nor did you knew it existed before Tara came along. But the fact that she didn't trust you enough to know for certain that you weren't Ghostface, made you feel the need to fall apart. Did she really think you would kill your friends? Let alone hurt them?
The thought made your eyes sting, and before you had the chance to wipe the tears away, they fell.
"Tara please I promise I-" You felt embarrassed, being so vulnerable over basically nothing.
All eyes were on you as you tried to keep the tears from falling, you felt ridiculous. But you were terrified.
You couldn't stand the thought of being left alone in this situation. Not only because you were scared of being alone, but also because you had to protect Tara.
Although you knew Sam would do a perfectly fine job of keeping her safe, but you wanted to do it, you had to. You wanted to prove to Sam that you loved Tara almost the same amount as she did, you wanted to prove to Tara she could trust you with her life.
You could see that Tara wanted to give in, tell you that you could come along and that she trusted you with her whole being. Her eyes were filled with regret and doubt. But you could tell that she wasn't going to change her mind anytime soon.
She just watched you, biting her lips hard enough to draw blood. Seeing the look on your face just made her want to squeeze you in a hug hard enough to make you faint.
You looked so scared, and the fact that she knew how scared you were about the whole situation, made everything worse. She had noticed the terrified look on your face that hadn't left since the attack at the apartment, your trembling hands and the layer of tears in your eyes that never fell.
Tara actually thought that you looked more scared than both Sam and her combined.
"Y/n please just stay here." She tried to reason, as if she wanted this. But she did want it. She wanted you to be safe.
You wanted to argue, tell her that you would refuse to come along. But you knew that you wouldn't get anywhere with it, Tara was stubborn, she always got what she wanted somehow. And you didn't want Sam to see you argue with Tara, that certainly wouldn't help you get on better terms with her.
So you gave in, even though you knew Tara's life was at stake. Sam will take care of her, you tried to tell yourself.
You quickly wiped the tears on your cheeks with your hand, even though everybody had already seen them.
Tara's eyes never left your figure as she watched your trembling hands. "Fine." You almost spit, voice cracking with worry.
Tara nodded at that, happy to hear you give in. You didn't pay attention to anybody's reaction other than hers, they didn't seem to matter.
She walked closer to you, placing a kiss on your faintly tear stained cheek. "Be safe." She said, as if she wasn't the one that was about to walk into a situation that she would either leave traumatized or not leave at all.
"Be safe." You repeated, before you watched them all walk away towards the building.
Seeing as Sam turned her head to Tara and whispered 'good call', as they walked away.
But when you turned around to try and make a decent conversation with Danny, he was nowhere in sight. Making even more worry creep in your bones.
***
You had been pacing around in the same place and pattern for 20 minutes without any progress, Danny was gone, and your phone was dead.
The streets where dead and empty.
You had half a mind to just run to the theaters and do the exact opposite of what Tara had instructed you to. But you knew well enough that both of the Carpenter sisters would quite literally murder you if you stepped a foot into their plan.
But eventually the worry and stress got to you, like it always did. You didn't care if you were going to get murdered whether if it were by Tara or Ghostface, if it was for protecting Tara, it was a good reason.
However, before you had the chance to change your mind or consider the other options, a glove-covered hand landed on your face, covering your mouth tightly.
The yelp and screams you tried to make was inaudible, nobody could hear them.
You felt a surge of fear and panic, unable to hear your own scream. The street grew eerily silent as you struggled to break free, your heart pounding in your chest. Rush of intense vulnerability and confusion, as you desperately searched for a way to escape the grasp of the unknown assailant.
But you knew who it was. It was Ghostface.
You tried to kick them with your legs, but none of them seemed to hit. The person was holding a strong grip on your mouth, and the other arm was firmly placed around your waist. You were unable to move out of any of the grips, the person was too strong. And you weren't.
Your panic was making it harder to breath, and you were beginning to feel as if you were about to faint any second.
You tried your best to remove the grip with your hands, gripping hardly on the muscular arms, trying so hard to get them away from you.
The tightened arms had veins all over them, yet another reminder that it was impossible for you to get away.
It was Danny, you tried to tell yourself over the ringing in your ears. It had to be Danny. He had left the second you were alone with him. It had to be him.
Muffled screams and ringing ears were the only noises you could make out. If the person behind you was speaking in a voice changer to you or not, you had no idea.
The panic you felt was replaced with relief when the thought of using your elbow to hit the individual behind you entered your mind.
But you never got the chance to do that.
Seconds before your elbow was about to meet the Ghostface mask, you felt a sharp pain in your lower abdomen.
All of the movements you were making stopped the second you realized what it was.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Seven times you could feel the sharp piece of metal enter and exit your abdomen. A gasp escaped your mouth after every single one of them.
You tried to scream, but nobody was around. Your wide eyes scanned through the street, yet again seeing that nobody was there. It was all empty.
Normally the streets of New York would be filled with drunk teenagers and late night workers, whether it was night or afternoon.
But when the news about the killers got out, everybody stayed inside. Some people didn't even bother to leave for work, and of course no parties. Even the homeless people seemed to have found another place to stay at.
You didn't realize that numbness was spreading through your legs until the potential male had slowly began to loosen the grip he had on your figure.
Before you had time to think, he had completely let go.
Suddenly you felt dizzy, you couldn't feel your feet, you couldn't feel your legs, you couldn't feel anything.
You could barely feel your legs giving up, nor did you feel your body hitting the ground as you tried to cover up the damage that had been made on your lower stomach.
Regardless the sharp pain in your body that almost made it impossible to breathe and the dizziness that got worse every time you moved, you tried to crawl towards the fence that was just centimeters away.
Your hands bloody from trying to add pressure to your wounds made trails on the asphalt.
You couldn’t tell if you had placed your hands on the right place, considering that the stab wounds were all over the place. And you didn't even dare to look down, because you could guarantee that it wouldn't be a pleasant sight.
Your eyes were starting to close by themselves and you were struggling to keep them open.
Everything hurt.
The pressure you were putting on the wounds was now becoming lighter, your hands didn't seem to have any strength left in them.
Tara would be here soon, you thought, desperately.
She would be here soon, everything would be okay; no more Ghostface attacks, no more Sam hating you, and no more unexpected death cases of your friends.
Your mind focused on Tara.
Her brown hair, her beautiful brown eyes, her dimples and her breathtaking smile. Her voice, her touch, and her joyful laugh.
Your eyes closed, and this time you couldn't stop them. The pressure on your wounds was no longer existent. The color in you was gone. You were gone.
Last thought being the girl you wanted to marry.
***
Tara left the building with a lump in her stomach, as big as a bowling ball.
Her body was filled with worry and guilt, but a part of her felt relief. She was relieved that everything was over now. No more Ghostfaces. She was done with them, truly.
Tara couldn't wait to see you. She was going to tell you that the decision she made was right, that she was happy you stayed behind, because you stayed safe.
But when Danny had walked into the theater, tackling all kinds of officer in his way, he was all alone. You weren't there, you didn't come with him.
Danny told them that the two of you had lost sight of each other rather quickly after they'd left, that you probably just needed to be alone and breathe for a moment.
Tara knew that you would be upset with her, for not allowing you to come with them, for not letting you protect her, like you always told her you would, even if it meant dying.
Although she had hoped for you to at least come to see if she made it out alive.
Danny had called the cops and ambulance to arrive at the place as soon as he got the chance. That's why the only thing in Tara's sight was ambulances, police cars and the fire department.
Chad had miraculously made it out alive, same with Mindy and Kirby. And even though that made Tara want to cry out in happy tears, she couldn't let herself feel anything until she had seen you.
Safe and secure. Like you should've been.
Panic began to rise within Tara as minutes passed without any sight of you.
Sam stood beside her, trying to sooth her younger sister with comforting words. But they didn't make anything better for her.
After the whole showdown, the two Carpenter sister's had talked, really talked.
Sam had tried to explain to Tara that she didn't actually hate you, the opposite really. She thought you were lovely and a perfect match for Tara. But she didn't want to take any risks.
She wanted to show you the walls to her trust weren't easy to break. And then she thought that if she acted rude towards you, you would eventually leave; meaning there was no need for Sam to let her guard down and open up to people she didn't know.
But Sam knew how much Tara loved you, she had been listening to her sister's rambling about you everyday.
That's why Sam could feel her heart sinking down her entire being when her eyes met with a stretcher where a body was placed, a morgue sheet on top of it, which was filled with blood.
Sam prayed that it was somebody else. That you had walked somewhere else to breathe just like Danny had assumed.
She felt the need to distract Tara before she had the chance to see it, but it was too late.
She had already seen it.
Tara screamed out your name in a sob, straight away assuming that you were the person underneath the white cover.
The woman who had been pushing the stretcher had stopped, turning around to try and give the man behind her any sort of information about the deceased individual.
Tara's legs moved faster than she could process, Sam following shortly after.
Heart pounding, hands trembling. With a swift of motion, she grabbed the edge of the wrap and pulled it upward, revealing your pale and peaceful face.
The vibrant hues that once painted your face were now gone, leaving behind a pale and ghostly visage. The colors had been drained from you, you no longer looked like yourself.
Tara could feel herself gasp loudly at the sight, turning around with a hand placed on her mouth.
A surge of sickness overwhelmed her. A gut-wrenching sensation, as if her stomach was about to revolt. She felt like she was on the verge of throwing up, basically feeling the acidic liquids rise within her.
It was you. Her girl. Dead. Gone.
Sam had the same reaction to the sight, gasping and putting her hand on her mouth, preventing from letting out any tears or sounds. Chills running down her spine.
Stop it. Pull it together. Tara. Tara needs you. Sam told herself.
Gaze shifting from your body and the bloody sheet upon you to her younger sister, who was sobbing beside her, about to fall down to her knees.
But when Sam put a hand on Tara's shoulder, she stood straighter. "No!" She shot up, voice raspy.
She looked at you again, but this time not caring for the feeling inside of her throat that threatened her. "She's not dead." Tara spoke again, trying to convince herself that you were alive, that she could save you.
"Tara-" Sam tried, but Tara had no interest in listening to her sister.
"Y/n. Baby, look at me." Tara gently brushed her fingertips against your cheeks, but quickly pulled away when she felt the chill that pierced through her body, for they were once a source of warmth and comfort, now distant and cold.
You were always warm.
The tears streamed down Tara's face, leaving even more mascara smudges on her cheeks, falling and leaving marks on her blue shirt. The shirt that you had gotten her.
"Sam, Come on! help me please" She begged for her big sister's help, still hoping that you could be saved.
At that sentence, the woman who had pushed you turned around, she seemed to have heard Tara's pleads and begs, filled with hope, wishing that you were alive. "Oh honey, this girl has been deceased for over an hour...we can't save her."
The woman spoke apologetically and looked at Tara with sorrowed eyes. "I'm so sorry." She ended. Tara was about to scream at the lady, yell at her and tell them to at least try, you weren't gone. There was no way.
But before Tara got the chance to argue, Sam had pulled her into her chest, embracing Tara with a hug. And at that, Tara broke.
The sobs left her mouth faster than she could take them in, she didn't have any space to breathe.
"She's gone." She cried, her tears staining the older woman's shirt. "And I wasn't there to help her." Tara rambled, talking rapidly before the next sob would escape.
Sam didn't know what to say. She just stroke her younger sister's hair, trying to soothe her sobs.
She had never seen Tara this vulnerable and emotionally ruined, not even when she had reunited with Tara at the hospital the previous year.
Tara's body shook violently as each sob left her mouth.
It was a mistake. It was all a mistake.
Tara had been so confident with her decision only minutes before. She thought she had made the right move.
But it turned out to be the biggest mistake of her life.
A mistake she couldn't take back, and had to live with for the rest of her time alive.
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astrasng · 2 months
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Forbidden fruit - J.WY
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pairing:idol!wooyoung x female!reader
MDNI!
summary: you think a one night stand with your best friend's brother doesn't lead you to anything.
warnings: pure smut and no other warnings
author's note: this is pure fiction, the act in this story is by my imagination and not based off any true events. please do not copy the work.
enjoy!<3
Your best friend since middle school always invites you for family gatherings, birthdays, holidays because she knows what you’ve been through. Your family is fucked up, and when it’s finally summer time, her whole family is there for you to cheer you up to prevent sadness. When it's that time in the year, everyone is traveling home to the Jung house to celebrate.The whole family. The parents are not working, your best friend and you left the dorms and Wooyoung takes a break from being an idol.It’s been difficult for him to finally take off some free time and visit the family house, but now it was the time for that. He loves having you around, because he knows how much you mean to his sister. And that’s what is most important to him.
So for the sake of habit, it's summertime and it's your birthday today. And where else should you be, if not in their house?
The sun is shining, the leaves are beautiful green matching the grass, loud but not too loud music in the background as you watch your friend jump in their big outdoor pool. 
Honestly? It almost felt like you were one of them, but you can't think that. It's not something you can allow yourself after the thing you did with an idol in the family, with Jung Wooyoung.You want to feel ashamed, being guilty because for god's sake it's your best friend's brother. You would've got together with anyone else because there are other guys who want you, and Wooyoung knows that too. He feels jealous, possessive even, just thinking about it. He should focus on his idol duties and you should study to get a diploma.
But forbidden fruit is the sweetest they say, and you two can't stay away from each other since that night, however you try. That night, that happened almost a year ago now and you two tried to move on. And successfully Wooyoung did move on, or so you thought by looking at him. Whenever he had a spare time he wanted to do something about the fact that he had the best fuck in his life with his little sisters best friend. So he had hookups just to forget you, and when you noticed that, you understood what he meant by that. However, a little voice in your head said you should talk to him about it because sure as hell, you were not the only one still feeling something. The tension between you two always has been intense until it snapped.
This is what happened today too. 
You, sitting and sipping on your bottled cocktail in the perfect weather, getting a little color on your skin while waiting for your friend with more alcohol to bring. But of course you expected Wooyoung showing up some time rudely,interrupting your little alone time in the backyard with an all knowing smirk. He was wearing nothing more than swim trunks and his usual black sunglasses covering his eyes. You look at him with an arched brow and he only shakes his head. You knew exactly what he was thinking, after all this time. To be honest, it was a long time ago since the two of you met, but you still wanted to talk to him desperately.
“What?” You ask suddenly when you can still feel his stare on you. 
“You changed.” He leans back on his back and puts his arms behind his head. You furrow your eyebrows not understanding what he means by that. “I mean, when I last saw you, you looked different. Not saying it's a bad thing.” 
“Glad to see you too.” You mumble under your nose while watching his muscles flex. How is he doing that? It's like he's even bigger now than last year. He turns his head to you suddenly, catching you staring. His smirk is even bigger now and you're blushing like crazy. His hair got longer too, now all black from the blonde and black combo from last year. You never dared to tell him, but you liked his longer hair better. 
“Don't look at me like that. I heard you have a girlfriend.” You force the words out of your mouth. You really did hear that a while ago, and because you're curious (absolutely not jealous) about her, and you want to change the subject quickly before he asks or says something about how you're blushing, you end up asking this. What an ass question. 
He chuckles deeply and looks up at the bright sky. “Why are you asking? Still not over me?” 
You did wrong by asking this question. You sigh calmly and drink the rest of your drink before answering. “Please. How do you know I don’t have someone?” With a satisfied smile you lean back on your back and close your eyes. You have too much pride in you to let his cocky behavior win this time. He may have won you over last year by his smooth talk, but you changed, as he said. You learned the lesson. 
“Do you have anyone?” He looks curious, one brow arched at you.
“Maybe.” You shrug your shoulders, practically feeling his burning gaze on your body.
“You're bluffing.You don't.” He sounds tense, like he’s trying to get you to speak the truth. And you really don’t like that.
“How do you know? You said I changed..” 
In the next minute, you feel the sun getting blocked from above, so naturally, you open your eyes just to see Wooyoung standing above you, his arms appearing on both sides of your head out of the blue. “Because sweetheart,I saw how you clenched your thighs together the minute I stepped out of the house.” He breathes, his shirtless body closer to yours now, making you slightly let your guard down. You feel your skin heat up from his comment, every word dripping with lust as he scans your body from above. “And don’t think I would let you have anyone else other than me.” He adds, the smirk on his face showing his pearly white tooth. 
Before you could cut him off and brainwash him about being absolutely delusional, your best friend jumps out of nowhere into the garden, holding two cocktails in her hand. 
“Woo! You're home!!” She jumps on his brother after putting down the said liquids, hugging him tightly while Wooyoung’s groaning from the lack of air.
“Yeah, glad to be back..” He groans when she lets him go finally,patting his shoulders affectionately. You always adored the way they loved each other, no matter how old they were. You often catch yourself looking at Wooyoung playing with his youngest brother, sometimes even smiling at the both as they fight over something silly. In those times, you want to punch yourself. 
“Have you wished a happy birthday to Y/N??” She snaps her head at you quickly and then back to his.Your friend thought you two were the only one being close in the family, but if only she knew his brother was the first one wishing you a happy birthday at midnight.
He straightens up, seeing his sister still rambling about how excited she was to be finally home with everyone.So as she was distracted, he swept her in his arms and with one swing he threw her in the water. Then slowly he looks back at you, pushing his sunglasses to the tip of his nose to see you properly. “You're not swimming,birthday girl?” He asks with a grin. You wanted to slap the smile off his face, still knowing that you couldn’t do it, even if you tried. So instead,you stand up slowly, still holding eye contact. You take your shirt and jeans short off and now you're standing in a black bikini in front of him. Wooyoung can’t help but scan you up and down slowly, pushing his glasses back. 
“If you’re done staring, join us.” With a wink, you jump into the pool, the water cooling your overheated body, the waves closing above you and leaving you in your little world with your thoughts. Everytime you’re invited to their house, you feel the most welcomed. So naturally, you feel a little vulnerable still being at their place after such a long time. Getting close to everyone in the family, practically being a Jung at this point. All these actions got you into a big problem that you caused yourself. Hooking up with Wooyoung. 
You don’t exactly remember what went wrong in your head, how you got yourself into that position that your body was all over Wooyoung’s. Maybe it was that he just got back from tour, and he was staying only a few days. The tension in his body was unmatched, it was like his whole body radiated the tension off, and for some reason, you were there to catch it all. Since then, you both knew it’s more than just being family friends. It was everything, but that.
“You okay?” Suddenly, your best friend pulls you up from the water, looking worriedly at your confused gaze. You try to swipe the hair of your vision, seeing her standing with a trembling body in front of you. “You were under the water for quite some time, I thought you needed help.” She sighs, standing from one to the other. 
“I’m okay, but are you? Your lips are all purple.” I notice the way her lips are trembling too, her body covered in goosebumps. She shakes her head and groans, turning around. 
“It’s too cold for me! I’m gonna go inside, help the others with dinner.” She says, already climbing out of the pool, wrapping a towel around her body. “Stay with Woo, if you want to. Join us later, you guys just arrived, so relax.” She adds, and then leaves you in the pool within a second. It’s true that you arrived only an hour ago, driving all the way here from the city with a tired brain and back, so to be honest, it feels a little bit too good not helping the others this time. 
You scan the backyard confusedly, not seeing Wooyoung anymore as his sister said.
“What?” You breathe out, your eyebrows furrowed together as you notice two hands snaking up the side of you. “No…” As quickly as the word passes your lips, you get pulled under the water.With a yelp,you open your eyes and see a blurry figure swimming towards you. Out of pure instinct,you’re trying to swim away to the other side of the pool, but he catches your thighs and pulls you back towards them. You yelp again and bubbles float out of your mouth but you quickly shut it before you drown from lack of oxygen.Two hands appear on either side of your hip,gripping it softly. You both go up, trying to get access to oxygen as you hear him laughing while brushing his wet hair out of his face.
“It’s not funny! I almost choked on the water.” You splash some water on Wooyoung to get him to stop laughing at you, you’re patience with him running short by the time. Your hair gets in your vision again, making you slowly get annoyed as you spend more and more time in the pool.
Slowly,the same hands stroke your hair out of your face,making you finally see as he’s lifting your chin up. As you finally open your eyes, you see Woyoung’s brown eyes staring down at you with desire in them. It makes your stomach flip, but at the same time you are anxious about anyone seeing you two. Your eyes snap back to Wooyoung’s again, seeing water droplets falling down from his slicked black hair and from his honey colored skin, mesmerizing you by his visuals. You notice his plump lips being all moisturized from the water, his beauty mark decorating his perfect lips. 
“You’re okay, pretty girl?” He asks softly, his previous cocky behavior nowhere to be seen. Before you could drown yourself more in his beauty, you shake yourself a little and splash his face again, swimming further away from him. “Don’t do that ever again.” You warn him, looking back at him when you finally touch the shallow part of the pool, sitting down at the stairs. He laughs slightly, swiping the water out of his face once again, getting his body fully in the water again. 
“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know you’d get so sensitive about it.” He says, his eyes glued on you. With a shrug, you look away from him, not answering. You try to take your mind off from thinking about his hands literally touching your waist just a second ago. How you missed his hands on you. 
“What are you thinking about so much?" He asks, curiosity sitting in his voice as he tilts his head to the side.
You look at him again, a thousand questions floating in your mind. Should you question him about how his life is going? “Do you really wanna know?”  You ask while arching your brow up. He nods immediately with lustful eyes.
With a sigh, you lean back on your elbows. “Is it true?” As the question passes your lips, you don’t dare looking at him, but rather at the sky above you. The sun is getting low, the patio lights are yellowish and the pool lights just turned on. A minute passes before Wooyoung answers. “True what?” His voice is closer now, but you keep looking up.
You try to keep your guard up, even though you feel his body getting closer to you, the water moving around you slightly. “That you have a girlfriend now.” 
As you say the words, Wooyoung quickly grabs your waist, pulling your body closer to his, making your eyes snap open to land on his perfectly sculptured face. He looks deeply into your eyes, now all playfulness is gone from them. “Does it matter?” Wooyoung eyes lock on your lips as he murmured. The feeling of his gaze on your lips just confirmed the intimate moment you two have. So without another thought,you put your hands on his waist under the water where no one can see it. 
“It does. It matters to me.” The hands on your hips are gripping tighter, and your fingers crossed his v-line. Wooyoung sighs softly, closing his eyes and letting his head fall down on your shoulder. 
“No, it’s not true. I wouldn’t be here otherwise, dumbass.” He suddenly picks your legs up and puts them on his hips.This way, you’re kind of laid back on the stairs, still not fully in the water. The move caught you by surprise, now gripping his bicep.
“Why didn’t you call me?” Now it’s his turn to question, making you bite your lip in thought. 
“Because you’re kind of a celebrity.” You say it in a matter of fact way, because it’s true. Why would you suddenly call him up, when he’s traveling the world, seeing fans all around?
“It didn’t matter when I fucked you.” His voice is low now, whispering in your ear. Red color blooms across your face, making your stomach jump into a nervous knot at his voice,your thighs squeezing around his hips pulling him closer. 
You try to take a breath, thinking logically. “We can’t do that again.” Your breathing is getting heavier as your lips are getting closer to his. 
“Then why do you want it?”
You don’t know how to answer that. You seriously don’t want to answer his questions because it will only get you to be hot and bothered for nothing. And of course, he knows exactly. 
“You don’t have to say anything, I already know the answer.” His nose is brushing yours, the adrenalin is so high you’re surprised you haven’t passed out yet. “Forbidden fruit is the sweetest, right?” He tilts his head to the side, and like magnets, your lips collide with each other in a heated and heavy kiss. The way he kisses you, his hands gripping your waist to keep you close to his body makes your heady dizzy, finally satisfied to feel his lips on your again. 
Wooyoung swipes his tongue on your bottom lip, begging for entrance as you slightly open your mouth just to give him that. It’s messy, your teeth clashing together here and then as both of you urgently need the other. Like you want to hide inside him, getting more closer than ever as he wants the same. Wooyoung got needier the last time he was with you. 
No. 
“All I was able to think about was you.”
One of your hands is tangled in his black hair while the other is sliding all the way down to his swim truck. It feels wrong to do this again, but you’re far too gone now.
His hands are massaging the fat of your ass, his hardness poking at your stomach lightly as he keeps his hands glued on you.You moan softly in his mouth from the friction, then you catch him slip his fingers carefully under your bikini bottoms all the way to your clit. His smug grin appears on his face while kissing you, and never letting you go. Heavy pants surround the two of you as the moon is starting to come up to the sky, Wooyoung catching your hand to drag it all the way down to your core. 
With delicate kisses on your neck, he whispers. “Pull your panties to the side for me.” 
The way he talks has you melting in no time, forcing your brain to focus on holding your underwear to the side as you feel his fingers slide inside your warm walls.For him, it was like getting sent back to heaven. The way your walls wrap around his fingers, wishing it was his cock instead,has him moaning above you, inviting his mouth in more to feel his tongue on yours again. His pace matches with the way your breath quickens, moans and groans filling the backyard. 
“Woo, we have to stop.” You pull a few inches away to look in his lustful gaze. “I won’t stop here,Y/N” He takes the flesh on your neck between his teeth and starts sucking it. “I’m not going to wait another year for this.” He groans into your neck as his painfully hard cock brushes the side of your thigh. A whimper escapes you as you let your head fall back to the edge of the pool. “I…” 
At this time, he pushed your whole body to the tiles of the pool, and stroked himself to your core to ease his pain, his fingers now gone. He manages to get another moan out of you before a door shuts in loudly. You both jump away from each other and look up at the porch seeing the Jung family’s dog wagging his tail with a toy in his mouth. For a second a cold shiver runs through your body at the possibility that someone caught you two.But then Wooyoung’s eyes found yours again and you both let out a laugh at the pathetic situation. 
However, it was a close call. No one can ever see the two of you together, especially in this house. You watch him as he is starting to get out of the pool up to the porch to his dog to throw away his toy. He turns around and heads to the door. 
“Where are you going?” You ask as you finally get out of the pool.
“What do you think? I have to take care of this before the guests are here.” He gestures to his obvious bulge in his pants.  A giggle gets out of you and he just rolls his eyes. 
Right, the guests…
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆
“So, Y/N honey, how was university this year? You’re not too hard on yourself right?” Wooyoung’s mom winks at you and laughs a little as she looks at you from the head of the table. You laugh along, nodding. “Everything is fine. My grades were a little low at the beginning of the semester, but I got myself together and it’s all fine.” She smiles at you with a warm gaze and turns back to the guests at her side. 
You look around – the whole table is full, when they said that they were expecting a few cousins you thought it was really just a few, not a whole army. After you and Wooyoung got interrupted outside, you decided to go and get yourself presentable for the guests. It was an annual thing that the family invited people from here and there to throw a summer party, and it was no different now. 
“And you Wooyoung? When will we finally see you with your wife and kids on your back, huh?” An older blonde woman asked, “I heard that you have someone!” You almost let out a scoff but held back as he turned to the woman with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 
“Oh yes, I have someone, although I don’t really know what she thinks about marriage and kids yet,” He continued  “She is closer than you might think.” 
You put your drink back down after a few coughs. The woman arched her brow. “Who wouldn’t want to marry you, honey?” She patted his hand and turned back to her partner. 
He visibly felt satisfied with that answer, the old lady practically stroking his ego with that comment. And who are you to let that slide and get to his head? Under the table, you gently stroke his crotch with your heels. He looked fantastic tonight. Wearing a white button up shirt, and a black dress pants. Simple, but on him, he looked like a Greekgod. 
He shoots his eyes to yours as you smile at him sweetly like nothing happened. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat. Let the game begin.
Slowly, he takes his small spoon and drops it under the table,your eyes following his actions. 
 Oh how cliché. - you thought.
“Oh, whoops.” He curses under his breath and looks around if anyone sees it, of course his sister looks over for just a second, then turns away and starts chatting. You already knew what was going to happen -- so you let it happen. 
Wooyoung being under the table gives you many ideas and so you prepare yourself to the worst, but then you can feel his hand slowly wrapping around your ankles. Lifting your feet out of your heels you find his crotch again, and slowly stroking it against his will. You can hear a faint groan under the table, but luckily the chatting in the room is loud enough to cover it.  Wooyoung’s fingers are bunching up your dress, just to have enough room for what he’s about to do. You quickly cover your abdomen with your napkin,then suddenly - a cold and piercing feeling strokes your wet folds making you gasp out. A few eyes land on you but you shake your head and laugh it off  “Sorry.”
What the hell?
What is he….?
Then again, you can feel the cold against your throbbing clit and his hands gripping your thighs. After a moment you realize. Your eyes widen as you mentally curse at yourself and at him. 
Is he really…?
And he strikes again. It feels so good, the cold spoon stroking your wet folds, sliding up and down making your hips move a little bit. You are trying so hard not to moan out loud as Wooyoung is working magic with a spoon. It feels so sick and disgusting, let's not mention that this is happening in front of the family. But it feels so good. He’s moving the spoon quicker by the time, and you have to bite down on your lip to keep your whines and moans. 
Like it’s not a torture enough for you,out of nowhere, he slides a finger into you, making you buck your hips up and let out a low sigh.
Once again, a few pairs of eyes look at you and - “I just feel a little nauseous, sorry.” You give them a tight smile as you grip your chair. You’re going to explode – at any minute now and he can’t control himself. You know he can’t. He gets off the pleasure of yours, he lives for your satisfaction so if he sees that you like it, it takes a lot for him to keep himself back.
His fingers are moving in sync with the spoon, but you can’t take it anymore. You push your chair back and stand up. “I’m going to the bathroom.” You whisper into your friend’s ear. She nods and squeezes your hand. 
As you walk away, you glance back at the table to see Wooyoung getting up from the floor and sitting back, a visible smirk plastered on his face. You shake your head and walk towards the stairs to hurry up to the closest bathroom you find. 
It shouldn’t be obvious right? I mean if he now gets up and says he’s gonna check on you like a loving family friend, then everyone should believe that right? Fuck it. His cock was rock hard against his pants and he needed a release with you. He has been waiting for it. 
So he stands up and says the exact words he said in his head. Nobody seems to care, so he turns around and hurries to the first bathroom that comes into sight, exactly where you went.
He puts his hand on the door, but before knocking he hears a faint whimper. A rush of adrenaline shivers through Wooyoung and puts his head on the door. He smirks to himself as he knocks on the door. The minute you open up the door he pushes you against the sink and kisses you deeply. It’s intense, and quick. He doesn’t want to waste any more time. He knows you want him, just as much as he wants you. 
“You’ve been keeping yourself warm and wet for me hmm, princess?” You tilt your head back to let him lick the side of your neck. With his leg he closes the door and locks it with one hand. 
“At the table, you acted like a bitch in heat. Stroking me under the table? Fine, have it your way then.” Wooyoung hisses as he can feel you getting handsy, already unbuttoning his dress shirt as his fingers zip down your dress, kissing all over your chest.  
Your hands travel down to his pants impatiently, taking his cock out as beads of pre-cum leaks down on your fingers the minute it slaps against his abdomen. Moaning at the sight, he lifts your legs to wrap it around his waist holding you close. His broad shoulders tense when you bite his neck, marking him visibly. Maybe you shouldn’t have done that. 
“Woo,please…” Your pleading echoes in the bathroom while Wooyoung grips your thighs to keep you pressed against the sink, feeling his cock pressed against your clothed core. You grind against him, making him groan out as he tugs your panties to the side. His fingers immediately find your tight entrance,pushing them in and making you moan out as you grab his unbottuned white shirt.
“Tell me what you want, darling.” He nuzzles his nose in your neck, biting on it and kissing the hurting sensation after, while his fingers indulges in your puffy walls. It feels like your whole body is on fire, only aching for him as he’s impossibly close to you. 
“You, inside me. Now.” You tell him straight up, you’ve been waiting for this since you had your first time with him.
Wooyoung smirks to himself as he listens to your pleas. “Beg for it, baby. I know you can do better than that.” With a light lick, he leaves a mark on your neck while his fingers tease the rim of your entrance, making you squeeze your eyes shut. It really became a torture with his cocky behavior, not letting you get what you want. The air between you long gone as your hands caress his glistening abs, your mind still trying to make up to finally say the words. 
But him, seemingly sensing your doubts, he suddenly lets your legs drop to the floor, and in a second he turns you around to face the mirror. “I’ll make sure you do better than that.” Wooyoung adds, forcing your upper body to lean on the counter in front of you, caressing the skin all the way down to your core. “Be a good girl for me, and play with yourself baby.” He adds, guiding your hand once again down to your aching point. As his hands caress your ass cheeks you can’t help but let out a whine, your fingers curling around your clit to get yourself off already. But you know it won’t work like that. 
Wooyoung loved playing around, and it was no different now, as he squats down to be eyes level with your glistening pussy, waiting for his plump lips to be attached to. So he does exactly that, slowly tasting you on his tongue, making him immediately groan out. It takes you by surprise, as you feel the sensation of your fingers around your clit and his tongue shoved deep inside you. As he moans against your pussy while massaging your ass gives you a wave of pleasure, making you hang your head down to the counter, his actions resulting in you being a moaning mess. 
“Come on, baby. Just say the words.” He sounds desperate too, wanting nothing more than to be inside you. But who are you to deny him now?
“Please Wooyoung, I need you to fuck me.” You breathe out, your head getting more dizzy as he suddenly pulls away from your soaking core and smacks your fingers away from your clit, denying your climax for the third time today. 
“There you go, pretty. Was that hard, hmm?” He hums against your ears as he kisses your exposed shoulders, his hands spreading your ass further as his other hand is lining himself up to your entrance. For a few times, he strokes his tip between your folds, making him groan out as he throws his head back slightly, veins popping out on his neck. “Keep looking in the mirror.” With a simple finger on your chin he turns your case to the mirror, watching yourself almost drool at the way he’s teasing your hole. “I want you to see yourself fall apart on my cock.” 
And with one simple move, he pushes his leaking tip into your warm walls, groaning at the feeling finally being inside you. “You’re so tight, Y/N. Fuck.” He groans, his hands gripping your waist as you try to inhale normally. As much as you want to keep your head up and watch his cock slide in and out of you, you can’t help but let your head hang down at the feeling of him throbbing inside you, his cock brushing against your cervix with one swift thrust. 
Wooyoung remained in place as he let out an erotic moan at the depth, while you on the other hand, were panting and trying desperately to blink away the tears out of your vision. “See, princess? See how much of a whore you are for me?” Wooyoung added as you tried to get a grip on something. 
“Mhmm” You couldn’t even form a word at this point, already deep into the feeling of him finally being inside you again. 
The sound of his waist hitting your ass echoed loudly in the bathroom, and the sound only got more repetitive as he began to properly move. His cock was so deep inside you, that you can see a bulge forming in your stomach when you look down between your bodies. 
“You’re so perfect, doll.” He grunted, dropping his head on your back momentarily then thrusting into you mercilessly. “So fucking good. You’re so tight and-- fuck!” He moaned out when you clenched down on him uncontrollably, making him lose his mind. “Shit, don’t squeeze me like that,” He grunted once again, swiping his hair out of the way. “You nearly made me come.” 
“D-don’t act like – ahh – you didn’t like that.” You panted out, little groans leaving you as you put your hand on the mirror in front of you. 
Wooyoung smirked, seeing the struggle of your hands not going anywhere. So in one swift motion, he pulled out and turned you around, making you sit back down on him without a warning as he fully seated back on the toilet, making you squeeze down on him again. With a satisfied sigh, he brushed your hair out the way and kissed the side of your neck. This way you felt him deeper inside you, almost thinking he can rearrange your insides. Without another sane thought, he thrusted up into you, making your eyes roll back, holding back a moan.
“Let me hear you, pretty.” Wooyoung thrusted up continuously as you tried to ride him, your nails bunching up his shirt on his back, your hand sneaking up into his hair to finally feel them between your fingers. He sighs into the crook of your neck as you scratch his scalp, however, he refuses to give you a break, continuously drilling his cock in you, his lips itching down to your collarbone. His cock kept rubbing along the perfect spot, making you cry out in a quiet – “Right there Woo,”. And the louder you cried, the more intense that feeling got. You could barely see through the blurry and teary eyes as he watched you with fully blown dark eyes and jaw tense as he fucked almost split you open. The hands that were grabbing your waist a second ago quickly pulled your bras down to attach his lips around one of your nipples, sucking and biting down on it as he was trying to get something out of it. Your toes curled as he switched between the two, his waist refusing to stop as he thrusted up into you powerfully, his hands slamming you down on his cock. 
“You’re tightening up, doll. Are you gonna cum?” Wooyoung could barely laugh as he groaned his question, feeling you clenched down on him again, now your climax is inevitable. 
“Yes, fuck! Woo, I’m gonna-” You whined, hugging his head closer to your chest as your release closed in. 
“Come baby, let me feel you milking me dry.” He groaned, the grip on your waist tightened as he moved his hips at a rapid speed, making you reach your climax in no time. Cumming around his cock you throw your head back as he bites into your nipple once again to contain his moans, feeling himself throbbing inside you uncontrollably. With a final thrust, he paints your walls white as he still feels your clenching around him, making him groan deeply, pulling you tightly against him while he watches his own cum oozing out around his cock. With a chuckle, he gathers it with his finger and brings it up to your lips to taste. A confused look plasters on your fucked out face, trying to breathe normally again as you watch him smile sweetly at you. 
“You don’t think I’m done with you, right, birthday girl?” 
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
i wrote this to my lovely friend who had their birthday recently<3 @liloraet
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munsooooon · 4 months
Text
Steve hates very much to be called "Steven" not even as a joke, he has not talked about it with anyone but implicitly everyone senses it in some way or another and therefore they do not call him that way, it is always Steve or Harrington or some nickname. That's because when his parents called him that it was because they were incredibly angry or drunk and therefore punished him in horrible ways, when they called him Steven he usually ended up getting beaten up. When they called him Steven in public it was enough to make him freeze and make him shiver, eventually he would be silent and terrified for the rest of the evening.
Now being older if someone calls him Steven, he immediately assumes they are fighting with him or that he did something wrong and depending on the situation or the person he will react with sadness or anger, for example, when Tommy called him Steven, it ended in a awful fist fight. It really makes him feel very bad, in recent years sadness is what he felt the most when he hears his name, because it hurts him too much to disappoint the people he loves.
Eddie doesn't know it, but he doesn't call him Steven either, it's always a nickname or Stevie, or Steve or even Harrington. Until one night, when they were in Steve's room kissing fiercely and passionately, Steve was under him doing whatever it took to feel Eddie rubbing his skin, between gasps and accelerated breaths, every little movement Eddie made or every little touch Steve felt, he reacted effusively with his whole body shuddering, he was and felt hypersensitive, he couldn't keep still.
"Steven" Eddie whispered with softness and a beautiful smile, Steve looked at him surprised. "Stay still, I need to take your clothes off, love"
Steve loved that. It was the first time someone pronounced his name with such love. He stood for a few seconds, processing what was happening. He began to shake in anticipation of what Eddie might give him. His brain was short-circuited, and all he could think of was Eddie calling him "Steven" with that authority and that beautiful softness that only he had. He felt loved.
"Are you okay? Do you want us to stop?"
Steve took a few seconds to appreciate him, ran his face gently, because the words wouldn't come out even though they were in his throat. He was always silent when he shouldn't be but he couldn't help it.
Eddie kissed the hand that was on his face, not intending to go any further, and Steve melted once again, he wanted to speak and express loudly the pleasure the other boy was making him feel but he couldn't. Instead, he took Eddie's hand and directed it to his pants to make him feel what he had provoked, to make him understand that he didn't want to stop.
"No, I don't want to stop" Steve said as he sat on Eddie's lap. "Call me Steven again, just you, just you Eddie, call me love, baby, tell me I'm your princess and never stop"
Steve was incredibly loud that night, moving his hips against Eddie's lap, trying to fuck himself harder, deeper. He spoke his name softly and lovingly, until he began to cry, begged for more as tears flooded his face. Eddie held him tight with his arms to keep him right where he wanted him but also to keep him safe to hold him as he released a weight he seemed to be carrying for years.
Eddie couldn't utter a word, it was unbelievable. Eddie was always loud and Steve was quieter, but in the dark, in the security of their love, Steve could be whatever he wanted and could act however he wanted, so he was being loud as he wished because in Eddie's arms no one could punish him.
"You're such a good boy, don't you?" Eddie says softly.
"Yeah?" Steve asks as he chases Eddie, he moans loudly as Eddie once again hits that place on his body, his mouth stays open as he moves on Eddie, soft sounds keep coming out of his mouth, he closes his eyes, because he can feel Eddie all over his body, even though he moves slowly.
"Yeah. You're so sweet, my baby boy, I can't even explain how much I love you, princess"
Steve smiles with his eyes closed. He looked precious, his cheeks were flushed, his lips red, and somehow the tears made him incredibly beautiful.
....
Steve still hates being called that, he finally confessed it to Eddie but also gave him permission to call him that on special occasions. Plus, he told him that he would love to tell his parents what he does with the traumas they caused him. Because now every time he's called Steven it's because he's loved, because he's revered and because he's being fucked incredibly well.
Steve get his name back, Steven belonged to him and Eddie.
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shaevilux · 1 year
Text
People knock on Rhoam for being a bad dad cuz he's distant and stern to little Zelda and say how Rauru is the goat (heh) for taking her in like his own daughter. Like Zelda had her real parental connection with Sonia and Rauru. But frankly that's a little reductive.
Rauru literally descended from the heavens, married a priest, started a kingdom. Man didn't really know much strife yet. There's no looming threat of calamity or prophecy yet. Things are peaceful. Things are fine. Things are great. Zelda dropped in during this time, talking about a doom that's going to happen tens of thousands of years in the future.
This sad, lost princess.
Of course any reasonable person would take her in and calm her and tell her she is fine and listen and support her.
Rhoam not being able to be this kind of figure for Zelda is tragic. Just read this poor man's journal entries:
"It has been a year and three months since her mother passed. Perhaps she is held back by heartache too deep to heal. If the Ganon prophecy wasn't looming over our heads, I would tell her to take her time... To wait until she is ready. But our situation is dire and leaves no room for weakness—even on behalf of my beloved daughter. My heart breaks for Zelda, but I must act as a king, not a father. I must order her to train relentlessly at the fountain." Pg 4.
"In truth, I understand Zelda's feelings. Painfully so. She lost her mother, her teacher, before she could learn from her. Ten pointless years of self-training, without so much as a book or note to help her find her way... Those in the castle talk behind her back. And I, her only family, scold her for her shortcomings. No wonder she wishes to hide away in her beloved relic research. I'd love nothing more than to console her... But I must stay strong. She MUST fulfill her duty, just as we all must. Even if she comes to despise me." Pg 6.
"I have been told my Zelda went to the Spring of Wisdom... This will likely be her last chance. If she is unable to awaken her power at Lanayru, all hope is truly lost. If she comes back without success, then I shall speak kindly with her. Scolding is pointless now. I forced 10 years of training on her... and after all that, it seems her power will stubbornly awaken some other way. Perhaps I should encourage her to keep researching her beloved relics. They may just lead her to answers I can't provide. For now, I sit anxiously, more a father than a king in this moment. I sit and await my daughter's return." Pg 7. (He fucking dies and never gives Zelda this bit of closure uuuugggghhhhhhh Zelda I'm so sorry Rhoam I'm so sorry)
It sucks because most people remember the cutscenes (duh it's more immersive and important) and in the cutscenes of the first game Rhoam was mostly shown as being stern and mean to babygirl Zelda, who is closed fists explaining herself to him at the verge of tears. And in contrast everyone in the first royal family of hyrule in the second game treated her with such kindness and we can see how happy she was being there with them.
Rhoam was shackled by duty. By prophecy. By the looming calamity. And from the day he named his daughter 'Zelda' he shackled her as well.
And what does Zelda do with these shackles? She accepts them. She tolerates them. Because she loves her father and her kingdom and knows there's a power dormant in her that can stop the calamity that she must do her best to unlock. She does this dutifully. She does all the training, she does everything that is required.
But it still doesn't unlock. So she tries other ways. She isn't just going after the 'relics' because she's scholarly and nerdy and wants to learn about them. She does it because she's pragmatic. She knows her sacred sealing power isn't present in her. She knows she might not be able to control it or even unlock it in time.
So she tries this alternative approach. The Divine Beasts, the guardians. Ancient tech that was used to prevent the calamity of their time. And she awakened the tech. And her father chose the champions for each divine beast. And they were all prepared. And it's all thanks to Zelda.
And then... Fucking tragedy again. Ganon probably learned his lesson from the last time he was thwarted and immediately went for the tech, corrupting it and turning it against the new users. Against Zelda.
It's never really stated how fast it all turned to shit when the tech betrayed them (or maybe I don't remember) but every account points to it being almost overnight. The champions died. Rhoam died. And suddenly, suddenly Zelda unlocks her sealing magic.
I always always hate the literary trope of using tragedy to unlock a great power that could've actually stopped the tragedy from happening in the first place.
And it's no different in BOTW. I hate that Zelda had to go through all this to unlock her powers.
And then what happens next?
She's stuck in limbo (in an almost mocking parallel to Rauru in the next game with his imprisoning arm) holding Ganon back. For a hundred years.
This young woman had gone through so much only to be trapped with a calamity seeking to destroy Hyrule for a century.
Does she know her father died in the war? Does she know the champions died in battle? Would she know Link would survive in the Shrine of Resurrection? Would she know how long it would all take? The century she would have to wait?
I think she didn't. I think it all happened too fast. I think ultimately, she decided a stalemate with ganon was an agreeable outcome. I think in her mind she probably thought she failed Hyrule. When the divine beasts turned she must have been distraught. Distraught might not even cover it tbh. But at least... At least when the kingdom was brought to it's knees by the corrupted tech and was waiting for the final blow, she had the ability to ensure the final blow never came.
And oh boy I have a looot more to talk about regarding Tears of the Kingdom. But I do want to have a couple of more playthroughs of it to really formulate what I want to say.
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j-jinxee · 7 months
Text
ALASTOR DRABBLE -☆
Suggestive under the cut!
"Holy shit Alastor! Is that a lipstick stain?" Angel asked, referring to a red smudge on the collar of Alastors white button up.
The hotel staff had planned a nice dinner night for all the new guests they'd gotten recently, meaning everyone wore their best suited attire.
"Ha! You're seeing things my good man."
- flashback to earlier -
You'd just finished applying your lipstick, setting the tube down on your vanity as your date for the evening came out of the bathroom. You were so thankful that Alastor was interested in you, everyone knew he wasn't really one for romance, yet here he was as your dinner date.
"Oh my stars! You look so good in that outfit! I knew it'd suit you." You were the one who bought him this outfit, since he wasn't used to wearing anything but his usual dress coat.
"I'm glad you like it my dear! I wouldn't be wearing it for anyone else." It was rare to see him without some sort of coat covering his figure, so you wanted this outfit to be absolutely perfect.
You got up from your vanity and made your way over to the doorway he was standing in. Reaching up to straighten his collar, then looking up to meet his eyes. The smile he wore was hypnotising, and the effect it had on you was serious, it made you smile too - most likely from intimidation. You shifted to your tip-toes and gave him a peck, forgetting about your lipstick that wasn't kiss-proof.
"Oh!" You giggled at the sight of Alastor with lipstick on, yet he didn't know what had occurred. "What's so funny darling?" You laughed and lead him to the mirror, letting him see what you'd done. "Would you look at that..." he spoke, "you've marked me, that's different." His eyes grew darker as he observed the vibrant red on his skin, "you want some more?" You asked with a smile.
"How could I say no to a smile like that? Go ahead my dear." He said, crouching down a bit just so you could reach his neck. You hands grasped his collar, keeping him still as you peppered kisses all over his neck and jawline. Giggling the whole time because of how pretty he looked, absolutely covered in your affection. His hands started to drag up your dress, which was already short to begin with. The room started to fill with lust, you could feel it surrounding you, moving up to Alastors lips to capture him in a proper kiss. Feeling his tongue invade every inch of your mouth, smudging the red substance all over him in the process. His hands got dangerously close to your heat, ready to rip off your dress and take you right now, but suddenly-
*bzz* *bzz* *bzz*
"Oh shit Charlie's calling! Uh helloooo"
"Where are you guys? We started like 10 minutes ago and you know I hate leaving people out."
"I'm so sorry Charlie, I uh- we'll be down in a sec I promise!" You ended the call and turned back to Alastor, getting a proper look at your work. Oh how you wish you could take a photo.
"We're late! We gotta go now." You said, scrambling to the bathroom and grabbing some makeup wipes to sort out your messy lips. Alastor slowly followed behind you and did the same, a little sad he had to rub it all off so soon."As much as I would love to show this off, something like this would tarnish my reputation. I'm sure you understand my dear." You smiled, happy that you found something else he enjoys in the bedroom. Little did he know, you accidentally got some on the side of his collar, very obvious since the shirt was white as well. Oh well.
- back to the present -
"I know a lipstick mark when I see one! You can't fool me old man." Of course Angel noticed, you couldn't wait to tell him what actually happened between you two in your next gossip session.
----------------------------------------------------
This came to mind outta nowhere and I was like FUCK YEAAAA so aha hope u like itt x
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leviscolwill · 1 year
Text
adore
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: bsf!jude x fem!reader
summary: you adored your friendship with jude, but sometimes you wished things weren't so complicated between the two of you. [wc: 3,2k]
contents: mostly angst ??? a few cute moments here and there bc i'm fluff girly thru and thru 🤞, they can't communicate to save their life, drunk jude, a random man being annoying, jude being a dumb fuck, language, did i miss anything ?
note: this wip has been rotting in my drafts for a couple of months, i hope you enjoy it because i really enjoyed writing it 🫶
now playing adore by cashmere cat & ariana grande...
"please don't leave me y/n... you don't understand, i need you here."
"jude, i'm literally going to the toilet. i'll be back in 5 minutes, now let me go."
your best friend had always been the clingy type whenever he'd reach his alcohol limit (which was usually only after a couple of drinks). but tonight he was practically glued to your side, not that you minded, you basically spent your whole life attached by the hip. but you had to admit, it hurt a bit to see the person you couldn't have, not in the way you wanted to have him, at least, act all lovey-dovey with you.
the nature of your relationship with jude was complex, to say the least. he was your best friend since you were kids and you wouldn't change that for the world. but the way he looked at you sometimes made you yearn for something more, or whenever his touches on your shoulder or your waist would linger a bit too long to be friendly. maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, after all, the chances of jude wanting you the way you wanted him were very low, not to mention the fact you led two different lives. but it didn't matter, you could manage to live and long for him with the hope that one day you could be more than a best friend to him. and this thought was all you needed to face him and his sparkly eyes for the rest of the night.
when you got out of the bathroom, your mind was still full of thoughts of your relationship with jude running in your mind. you were so engrossed in your thoughts that you bumped into a man's chest, not really being careful about your surroundings.
"i'm sorry, i wasn't looking." you quickly apologise to him, you were already on your way to your friends before the man grabbed your wrist, quickly letting it go.
"it's okay sweetheart, can i get your name as an apology ?" you cringed at his poor attempt at flirting with you, but you weren't feeling confrontational tonight.
"i'm-"
"y/n !" jude's voice made your head turn in surprise.
"you were gone for so long i almost forgot what your beautiful face looked like." he said smashing his face on your shoulder.
"is that your boyfriend?"
"ummm, no he's my-"
"depends who's asking." jude interrupted you, side-eyeing the nameless man.
"jude. i can speak for myself." the look he gave you broke your heart a bit, his lips pouting in sadness.
"if he is not your boyfriend, i'd gladly take your number, might even take you back to my hotel room..." it was obvious to everyone around that the situation was uncomfortable for you, that familiar feeling of disgust you always got when a man was being too friendly creeping on you.
"who do you think you are?" your best friend stared at the man with a frown on his face.
"jude, let's not..." the tension between the two men was evident as people stopped to stare at whatever was happening.
"relax mate, i just wanna talk to your friend nothing more." the stranger grabbed your wrist, still looking at jude, testing him, testing how far he would go to stop this.
"let me go." you didn't have to try getting away from him because jude did it for you.
the nameless guy suddenly let you go, and seeing him hold his jaw while screaming profanities at your best friend was all you needed to understand what just happened. jude punched him, but the alcohol in his veins prevented him from dodging the punch that came straight for his eyebrow.
immediately you took jude's arm before he found another idea to mess up your night some more, and walked out of the packed club for some air. you ordered a uber for the two of you and texted your friends that you were getting home early.
even fresh air couldn't rid you of the anger that coursed through your body. of course, you were mad at the man who couldn't keep his hands to himself. but another part of you couldn't help but be pissed at jude and his impulsive behaviour. but when you looked at him and saw blood trickle down from his eyebrow, everything was suddenly forgotten and you could only worry.
"fuck you're bleeding, why didn't you tell me? fuck, fuck, fuck." you searched through your bag for a tissue, mentally cursing yourself for how messy it was, and handed one to jude.
"just didn't wanna bother you..." he mumbled, holding it to his wound.
you both waited for the uber in complete silence, you knew you needed to have a conversation with jude about what just happened but you'd do it tomorrow, when he was sober and when your judgement wouldn't be clouded by anger.
thankfully, your uber didn't take too long to arrive, you helped jude put his seatbelt on after watching him struggle with it for a good minute. the atmosphere was tense and it seemed the driver felt it so he didn't try to make conversation with any of you.
you were halfway to your destination when you felt jude's fingers brush against yours lightly. you took a glance at where your hand lay, on the middle seat, jude's hand was right next to yours and when you looked at him he was suddenly entranced by his shoes, busy pretending it never happened.
you were sick of him acting like a child, so you held his hand, since he obviously wouldn't do it himself. the rest of the drive was silent but the atmosphere was peaceful, a nice change from the club.
you let go of jude's hand once you arrived at the villa you rented with your group of friends. you immediately took jude to the bathroom to clean his cut, he looked like a child while you were gathering the material you needed, mumbling words to himself with a frown on his face.
"is it gonna hurt?"
"probably not." these were the first words you exchanged since the club, the uneasy atmosphere of the room wasn't one you were used to whenever you were with jude. he was the one person who could understand you the best in the world, but it just wasn't the case tonight.
"can you hold my hand?" it was like he turned four again. but you couldn't deny anything from him, especially not when his eyes were glassy from all the drinks he had, so you took jude's hand in yours.
you started cleaning the cut, fully focused on your task, trying your best not to be distracted by the way your faces were inches from each other's.
"you're so pretty..."
if there was one thing you knew about drunk jude, it was that had loose lips. he couldn't keep any secret from you whenever he had the right amount of alcohol in his veins, and that often worked in your favour, but right now his words were only distracting you from your job.
"don't say that..." your heart was racing both at his words and at the proximity you two shared.
"i mean it." he was tracing your jaw with his fingers. you felt your hand quiver at the unexpected contact, and afraid you might mess something up because of jude, you quickly put a bandage on top of his, now clean, cut.
you started tidying up everything you used and expected jude to go to his room but he didn't budge.
"what's wrong?" you were a bit worried his injury was more serious than you thought and his brain was just working a bit slower than usual.
"kiss it better... please?" he said pointing at his bandage with a kissy face.
you were torn between kissing or slapping some sense into the boy standing in front of you. jude bent down so your face was in front of his, you obliged because you knew hammered jude would not have let you go to bed before you kissed him better. not because you wanted to, of course.
he was still unmoved, looking deep into your eyes so you took his hand in yours and led him to his bedroom for him to get a good night of sleep.
once you got jude to his bedroom safely, which wasn't an easy task given how starstruck he was at every little everyday thing in the house, he threw himself on his bed and grumbled something about clothes, before taking off his shirt with no prior notice. you immediately looked at your feet to give him some privacy while he changed clothes. he only giggled at your action saying he knows how much you would like to watch undress. which wasn't true, of course.
you took a quick peek, to make sure he was under his sheets. handing him a glass of water once he had his sheets pulled up to his chin and a content look on his face.
"no thanks, i'm not hungry."
"this is a glass of water?" you were perplexed at jude's words. the fatigue of your body preventing you from trying to understand his nonsense.
"well, i'm not hungry for water." you sighed at his childlike behaviour and considered shoving the water down his throat at some point before retracting, not really wanting to deal with the homicide of one the most in-demand football players of the moment.
you placed the glass on his bedside table and walked towards the door, unwilling to talk to a very drunk jude when all your body asked for was a good night of sleep.
but you couldn't ignore jude calling your name in a tired voice. you turned around to listen to whatever he had to say to you, only for him to beckon you closer with his hand. you rolled your eyes but still obliged, sitting on the unoccupied side of his bed.
"i just wanted to know why you were mad at me tonight." you didn't want to have this conversation tonight, but it seemed jude had other plans.
"because even if your intention was right, i think we could've solved the issue with no fits of screaming and fighting. i know you meant right but you can't just act without thinking all the time." you weren't even sure jude was registering your words properly, his eyes moving up and down your face.
"but i was mad at him too, he kept talking to my girl as if i wasn't right there." although jude was hardly convincing by the way the words came out of his mouth all slurred, you had to admit him calling you his girl put a faint smile on your face.
you thought your best friend was done but he just kept right on.
"fuck, you don't even know how many times i wished i was your boyfriend to stop these men looking at you that way. i mean i wished i was your boyfriend all the time, but especially then and also when you show me whoever you're talking to, you really have a vile taste in men y'know."
you looked at jude in total shock, he wasn't aware of what he just said from the way his face had the same drunken expression as before.
"do you mean it?" maybe he was pulling a prank on you. the look on his face didn't seem too serious, but then again he was drunk, how could you know how serious he was?
he laughed, how could he laugh in what was a very serious situation from your point of view?
"of course i mean it, sometimes it even looks like you want me too, maybe i just thought wrong. just tell me you don't want me, i reckon i could live with the fact i'm your best friend a bit longer." jude's nonsense somehow got even more nonsensical. how could he be saying all this with a smile on his face? even worse, how could he possibly think you didn't want him to be your boyfriend? you didn't even know what to say to him. hell, was there even a right thing to say in this exact situation?
"you can't do this to me jude... you can't just say this shit to me when you're drunk out of your mind. what do you expect me to say? i don't even know if you're aware of what you're telling me right now." words finally found their way out, your voice was much less cheery and much angrier than his as you felt a sense of injustice seeping through your veins. how could he say this to you like it was the simplest thing in the world? did he only love you when he was drunk? did he actually mean that, or was he over-exaggerating things under the influence?
"i love you and i loved you for a long time, please believe me, i know you're my best friend, and i don't want to ruin things between us... but i just needed to get this off my chest." jude was truly confused as to why you were so mad at him for this sudden 'confession'. of course, you didn't have to reciprocate his feelings, but he could only think about how he ruined your friendship for good from the way you responded so vehemently.
"goodnight jude." you left his room before he could add anything, and your thoughts were already running wild. you weren't sure if you should be feeling happy that he felt for you what you felt for him, or if you should be mad at jude for dropping this bomb on you so suddenly when he could clearly not think straight, making you doubt about the whole thing.
if you were overthinking before, your brain was now about to explode from everything that just happened in the span of an hour.
once you got under your sheets, no amount of sheep counting, lofi music, or breathing methods could put you to sleep. your brain was screaming at you, urging you to freak out about what just happened. every and each of your thoughts led back to jude, your own brain was torturing you, forcing you to separate truth from fiction at 3am.
you wished jude told you the truth, you wished his drunken words were his sober thoughts. but you didn't know how you were supposed to act like this never happened if this wasn't the case. how could you possibly come back to your little role, so well perfected over the years, of jude's best friend after he gave you the smallest glimpse of hope? your friendship with jude was the most important thing for you, but you wondered if you'd be able to pretend for the rest of your life or if you would go insane before that.
when sleep finally started taking over your endless train of thought, you came to the conclusion that if he meant what he said earlier, he'd have no issues telling you once he sobered up. you comforted yourself with this idea while your eyes closed by themselves, no more energy left in them to fight for the sake of overthinking.
jude had been avoiding you all day. the only time you exchanged an eye contact was during breakfast and even then he quickly went back to his room, not speaking a word to you. you could tell he was avoiding you like the plague, if he happened to be where you were he'd immediately flee the room, suddenly mesmerized by his phone.
you wished you were mad at him for how he was treating you and how he was making you feel, but the truth is, you could only focus on your heart breaking a little more each time he'd walk past you like you were two strangers.
after dining with the rest of your friends, you decided you were sick of jude's little games. if he didn't want to talk to you, then you would confront him whether he liked it or not.
it took you all the strength of the world to knock on his door after taking a deep breath.
no answer.
there was no way he knew it was you, you were sure of it. maybe he was just avoiding everyone tonight? you quickly refuted this idea, you saw him laugh with a couple of your friends half an hour ago.
you knocked again, a bit harsher this time to make sure he'd hear it. still nothing. you were preparing yourself to knock one more time, with much less hope than the first time.
"y/n, what are you doing?" yasmeen's voice startled you, it almost felt like getting caught doing something you shouldn't be doing.
"um... just needed to talk to jude, do you know where he is?" you couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the question. you were his best friend, if anyone should know where he was, that would be you. and your friend's dumbfounded look wasn't helping the heat creeping on your face right now.
"what do you mean? he left like an hour ago, had an unexpected meeting in london or something like that... he didn't tell you?"
it had been a very long time since you felt this way, maybe since middle school when your math teacher made fun of you in front of the whole class. your mouth suddenly drying, the sensation of your heart constricting, and your eyes stinging, trying their best not to let the sadness spill. it all felt like one big joke, you hoped jude would open the door, he'd tell you he was messing with you, he'd tell you everything he said last night again.
but that moment did not come. you couldn't answer yasmeen, afraid that the truth might spill along with your tears if you uttered a word. you simply shook your head, and went to your room, trying your best not to meet her eyes. your friends weren't blind, they could tell something was wrong between jude and you today, although none of them asked you what happened, they just kept a watchful eye on you and the way you looked at jude, in hopes he'd look back.
it felt good to cry in the privacy of your own room, far from the speculative conversation others were most likely having about the whole situation.
once your eyes were short of tears, you somehow found the strength to take your phone and click on your messages with jude to type a new one.
let's just keep doing what you did all day
i'll pretend you don't exist and last night never happened
probably best for us :)
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charmercharm3r · 1 year
Text
Now go to sleep
BC
Masterlist
warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, bf!chan, piv, fingering, idk witty banter cus he's such a cute meanie like that, idk he's been so teasing on bubble lately I couldn't help myself so ..here..
☆゚
"I'm tired, I'm not going to argue about this."
"I'm tired too, but I can be tired and still care about our relationship!"
Chan had gotten home a half hour ago and was barely stripping his outside clothes, head caught in his shirt when the words left your mouth. He could be menacing when he wanted to be.
Take now, for example. He'd finally wrangled himself out of the material and hadn't even slipped it off his arms when he turned his body to stop and stare at you like you'd just said you committed armed robbery. Brows slightly furrowed, lips pouting at you, Chan had the "fuck around and find out" look down to a T.
"Don't go there." Tone of voice, too. Menacing.
"Don't make me."
But there was the attitude right back. He deserved it for ignoring you the past week, you'd been so understanding until now. You'd reminded him every week for a month until this past Saturday the day he specifically took off so that you could have one date night. Just one. It was the only thing you've asked for since your birthday. And he still forgot.
Forgot or prioritized something else- probably work related- you didn't know or care.
"You promised," your voice shook slightly.
"So did you. You promised you'd understand."
"I've been understanding. You've been ignoring. Me."
The annoyed brow ruffle softened as did the rest of his face when the tears started to well up in your eyes. You didn't wanna cry in front of him, it was the last thing you wanted to add onto his already heavy weighted shoulders, but you couldn't help it. "It's not just your life.
"We sleep in the same bed. We share the same bathroom. You use my shampoo and I steal your hoodies. Sometimes you take my socks from the drawer and it makes you a minute late 'cus you have to make the trip back to the bedroom. Sometimes I accidentally grab your towel after a shower because it's steamy in the bathroom and I can't see, then you shower after me and get confused and use my towel instead. It's probably my fault, but it's not just your life."
Chan dropped his shirt to the floor, annoyance being replaced with guilt. He had been ignoring you, but not purposefully. He knew about date night and let his boss, his colleagues, everyone get in his head that the only way to prove himself and his capabilities was to work himself to death. Death by heartbreak because the sadness that radiated off of you was so painful he was sure that that was exactly what was happening to him.
He took the few steps to stand in front of you and reach out to cup your cheeks, thumb catching the slowly rolling tear. "Your towel is softer, anyways."
You hated how easily he could make things better, laughing and sniffling as you leaned your head into his palms. "I wash our towels together, that doesn't even make sense."
Kisses were smothering your face in the next moment, warmth making the tears fizzle from behind your waterline to be replaced by the need to grab him, hold onto him and never let go. You melted in his arms so quickly, there was no evidence that you'd been crying in the first place.
And when he kissed your lips, you forgot why you were sad in the first place. For a second, at least. The lingering hurt was still there, not as potent, but definitely still there.
"I like using your towel because it's yours," he murmured into your mouth, hands wandering down to press your body against his shirtless one. "Your shampoo smells better than mine. Still smell it throughout the day and think of you." Guided back onto the bed, he covered you entirely to shield you away.
Kisses on both cheeks. "Your socks are cute." Kisses down your neck. "I know they're yours because of the colorful designs." Kisses to your palms and finger tips. Down your body and stealing your top away to plant more across the expanse of your belly until your body started to overheat. "I take them on purpose."
"Then you grumble at me when you're late on purpose, too?" You were teasing back, if the smile you wore was anything to go by.
"Yeah, to get you to kiss me before I leave. You forget if I don't."
"Why don't you just ask me, then?"
"It tastes a little sweeter when you think you came up with the idea on your own." Chan smirked back up at you before venturing further to rid you of your bottoms so that you were left bare before him.
You would never admit it to him, but you forgave him as soon as his shirt came off. You just like when he works for your forgiveness, it reminds you that he does still truly care.
"You're still wearing pants," you breathed heavily when he spread your legs so he could slot between them, the rough denim brushing your aching core.
"Mhm," he mumbled back.
"Take them off."
Chan stopped his kissing rampage and pulled back with that fucking look that made you want to slap him silly. "Why should I?"
It was your turn to be annoyed. "Because I'm trying to fuck my boyfriend."
"Vulgar," he teased, placing a cheeky peck to the tip of your nose. "How badly do you want it?"
Tender touches roamed your thighs and love handles, getting you into a position on your back you knew rather well with him as your partner in it. "Not want, need."
Chan chuckled against your skin, burning like hot coal in the path he took further south, past your cunt and down your legs to pepper kisses around your calves and ankles as he sat up, taking your limbs with him. He maneuvered you to hang your legs over his shoulders so he looked down at you. "Is that really all it took, baby?"
"You haven't done anything yet. I'm still upset."
He bit his lip and raked his eyes up and down your body. "I see how it is."
Cryptic as always, he never gave away more than necessary.
But his body language is impossible to misread. Through his jeans, you could see the tent in his pants that you knew was probably painfully rubbing against the harsh material. He wanted it as badly as you did, but didn't want to be the first one to cave.
Before he could move again, you locked your ankles around his neck and tugged him down, "you were being so nice to me, what happened?"
"Make a little more noise for me, baby."
His hands had snuck their way to your core, fingers running through your folds before you had processed his words. You were doing exactly as he asked, not by choice. He provoked the noises out of you with precise, practiced moves against your clit, practically stringing them out of you like another one of his musical instruments.
"Please," you whined, threading your fingers in his hair hoping he'd cave.
Chan laughed again, "I don't think so. Not loud enough."
Prodding against your hole made another whimper crack through your restraint. You weighed your options and both would lead to an orgasm, you were sure. But you didn't know which route you wanted take more- letting him talk you down into submission or teasing him back until he fucked you into it.
Then his fingers broke the surface, plunging into you slow but deeply. The stretch was already proving to be more than you could handle, head falling back into the mattress and letting chants of his name fill the room. Chan loved it, drooling over how easily he got you under his reign.
"Baby, please. Wan' it," you grabbed his hand to halt his ministrations. Chan laughed at your sudden flip in attitude.
"Fine," he feigned compliance, knowing he would give you anything you asked for if you kept looking at him like he held your world in his hands.
He did, but he doesn't need to know that just yet.
Chan unzipped his pants and shoved them down his hips along with his boxers, just enough to let his cock spring free. Clearly, he was barely containing himself seeing as leaking precum made his tip glisten.
"Here," he presented himself like a present, not moving. Chan simply waited for you to take what you wanted. When you did, he smiled, proudly this time.
You used the leverage on his shoulders to scoot down the bed and reached between your bodies to let him slip past your entrance. Oh, he fit like a perfectly tailored glove, every time.
He let you use him, only providing some stabilization as you fucked yourself back and forth, up and down, any which way you could to reach the high you so desperately needed from him. Until you couldn't anymore. All you had to do was stop, let out a huff, and look up at him with those fucking eyes, and Chan folded.
Literally folded, hunching over you and cooing, "okay, okay. I'll do all the work. Only because you look so cute when you try to fuck me."
He didn't need to go very fast, just the right angle to press your sweet spot like a button. The wet, pornographic sounds of your bodies pulling apart and colliding, with his name falling from your lips and his noises of pure pleasure, it wasn't very long until the both of you were arching into one another and letting the euphoric waves crash onto shore.
Chan slumped onto you, bodies tired and feeling entirely too cuddly to clean up any more. Doing the bare minimum and kicking off his pants while not even bothering to pull out, he laid his head into the crook of your neck and smothered you entirely.
"Date night. This weekend." You grumbled into his hair, getting comfortable.
"Whatever you want. Now go to sleep," Chan nuzzled his nose into your skin, letting your warmth take over his senses.
Draping your arms over his shoulders and holding him close with a kiss on the top of his head, you mumbled back, "don't tell me what to do."
☆゚
tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @dazzlingligth @alexis-reads-fics @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44 @yeetmehome @in2heartz @astroodledream @the-sweetest-rose @lilbugs-things @viviennenstan @staurdvst @alex--awesome--22 @imzenning @jeyelleohe @iadorethemskz @skyvastbunny @mamabymychem @katsukis1wife @woozarts @noellllslut @straykids5star
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Text
The Bolter (part three)
Steve Rogers x f!reader
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synopsis : Steve carries out his decision to return to Peggy, aiming to live out the rest of his days with her. But this means he's leaving everything behind - he's leaving you. Did he make the right choice? Will there be anything left with you to come back to?
in this chapter : The reader returns to New York for the first time after Steve left, reuniting with Bucky. We see a little more of what the reader and Steve went through while on the run.
themes/warnings : pining, tension, unrequited love, two sad saps (reader and Bucky) trying to get over trauma and heartache :(, language, brief mention of injuries
word count : <2k
main masterlist ▪︎ series masterlist
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2024, three months after Steve's departure
You just finished your second mission since the final battle.
Since Tony. Since Nat.
Since... him.
Only three months, or rather, three long months. You don't know why Sam was worried that you are apparently overworking yourself.
He keeps calling you up, checking in from time to time, making sure that you are allowing yourself to relax. Have a little break. Stay with them in New York for a while. Maybe even have a couple of sessions with the therapist Bucky is seeing.
He must have done a darn good job at convincing you, or maybe you were just exhausted, because you arrive back in New York soon enough.
And Bucky comes knocking on your door not long after.
Your eyes meet, both of you blocking your doorway. Not a single word needs to be said - the understanding you two share runs much deeper.
Two kindred abandoned souls and whatnot.
You step aside to let him through and close the door behind him. His hair is trimmed shorter now, and with his getup, he could pass as just another civilian. It takes another beat of silence before he finally asks, "So how are you?"
You snort at how ridiculous his question sounds. He knows. "How are you?" you counter, eyebrows raised in a challenge.
"Touché," he says, shrugging off his leather jacket and placing it atop your kitchen island. He knows his way around. He's been here before, on the many nights you both shared drinks with Natasha, Sam and... him.
Damn it. You curse internally. It's okay, his name was Steve. He's not the fucking boogeyman.
He gives you a quick once over, immediately noticing that you're putting a lot of your weight on your left leg.
"I fell out a window," you sigh.
"Fuck's sake," he grimaces, shaking his head.
"Hey, we can't all be super soldiers, Buck. My muscles are just a bit softer than yours."
He presses on, still concerned, "Checked in for your physical yet?"
"Booked it for tomorrow," you respond. "But it shouldn't be too bad."
You feel his eyes continue to scan you, but in a non-invasive way. He's checking for more injuries, more signs of wear and tear. He's a lot like Steve, but his gaze is different, less commanding.
More broken.
"Anything new?" you have to ask to distract yourself, and he picks up on it right away. About Steve. He hasn't shown up like he said he would. You had been dreading it - the possibility of seeing a much older Steve, after he got to live out his life in this timeline.
He promised he would try and find you. A version of him, at least. White-haired and wrinkled and weary, but still your Steve. He said you would see him again, in what would be his future and your present, and say a real goodbye. Maybe even tell you all about his life and his girl.
You thought you blocked all that out, but sadly it did not slip your mind. You remember. And you didn't want to be there when it happens.
But nothing did, and you didn't know whether to be worried or relieved.
"Nothing," Bucky shakes his head. "But Dr. Banner is keeping track on whether there are any anomalies in the timeline, specifically in where Steve went back. Everything seems to be normal."
He's fine, and he finally got his normal. And you should let go.
As if he can read your mind, Bucky says, "It's hard to let go, isn't it?"
He's struggling. Of course he is. Bucky also has an old skin to shed, and bones to bury. You never encountered the Winter Soldier back in the day, but you heard of him.
Once you got to know Bucky, you never needed to know anything else. This is who he really is, and he's a good person. He's your friend.
And Steve trusted him. He believed in him. That would have been enough in your eyes, if anything.
"What makes you think I haven't let go yet?" you smile weakly.
He exhales, smiling back. Because, he seems to say, I know you.
Stepping forward, he opts for putting a hand on your shoulder first, unsure. He squeezes gently once, but then changes his mind and pulls you in for a hug at the last second, careful not to add any stress on your leg.
It takes the breath out of you, with his vibranium arm wrapped around your midtorso.
"I'm glad you're back," he mumbles against your hair.
Bucky knows that only you would really understand. The others, maybe they loved Steve too. Admired him. But it was different with the two of you.
Clint can move on with his family. Sam has his new responsibilties. Thor is out of world. Wanda has her own burden to bear. The world will go on as it always has.
But not for us, you think. As he held you tight, you decide that you will help Bucky through it. You will make sure that he gets the peace that he deserves and he is able to let go of Steve. Even if doesn't happen for you, this would be enough.
You offer him a drink after a moment, and he accepts without hesitation.
This is how it starts. This is how the two of you begin to move on.
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2017, ten months after the Avengers' Civil War
"Where were you?" Steve's voice came from somewhere in the room. He was seated in the small living room of your shared cabin, blinds drawn shut, almost out of sight.
You twisted around, and let your duffel bag fall to the floor. Squeezing the bridge of your nose, you let out a shaky breath. "What the hell, Steve, you nearly scared me."
You rummaged through the cupboard, looking for your stashed whiskey. "Nearly," you repeated in jest, when you heard him making his way to you.
You got a much better look at him then. His hair had darkened due to its length, and his beard was thicker. You were going to need several swigs of hard alcohol to resist jumping his bones.
"I was worried," he said, and his tone was gentler. It made you feel guilty, and you didn't know why. "I came back from Wakanda and you were gone."
"I wasn't gone, Steve. Sam needed help getting away with something, you know how it is. We don't exactly have a set schedule on when and where to go, given our fugitive status."
"I know, I know," he said right away, frustrated. What's wrong with him? "But you could have called, left a note - "
"A note could have been intercepted."
" - anything. Just to let me know how you are. You could have been taken in for all I know - "
"You really think I would let them take me in?"
He threw a stern glare your way, propping a hand on his hip. Based on his stance, you thought of how it looked like Captain America was about to give you a good scolding.
But you beat him to it. You were just too tired, and your arm was killing you. "Look, Steve, I had to help Sam and you were still in Wakanda checking up on Bucky. I didn't think it was a big deal. I thought I would be back here by the time you - "
"What's wrong with your arm?" he interrupted you, his practiced eyes easily noticing the damage, and reached for your forearm. "Take your jacket off."
Your eyes nearly bulged out of your head before you can catch yourself. "What?" you squeaked, but you knew just what he meant.
Steve was on full Captain mode, always looking out for anyone he feels responsible for. That's all it was. You had to remind your hopeful self that it was nothing more.
His hands were waiting by the neckline of your jacket, asking for permission. Ever so polite, even when his mood is sour.
You can ignore a lot of things, compartmentalize your emotions. You're used to it all, not getting too attached to anyone or anything as a result of your chosen life.
But you couldn't ignore the burning feeling his fingertips left behind as they grazed your skin. When he guided you to the couch so he can take a better look at the bruises on your arm, you were seated close. The closest you've ever been to each other, but he didn't look fazed at all.
Of course not. This doesn't mean the same to him, as it does to me.
You watched him the entire time, his long eyelashes almost grazing his cheek as he looked down at his work. His brows furrowed in concentration. Once in a while, he mumbled something that sounded like, never should've happened, or gotta watch out next time.
It didn't take long for him to fix you up nicely, your arm disinfected and wrapped in gauze.
After you thanked him, you stood from the seat, ready to compartmentalize that moment too. Because that was not the time to go falling for anyone, especially not someone who was just too good for you.
But he grabbed your hand before you walked away, looking up at you as he stayed seated.
"Steve?" There it was again, that burning. That warmth. If he didn't notice the goosebumps on your skin before, you were sure he saw them then.
"I - " he hesitated, before finally deciding on, "I'm glad you're okay."
You tilted your head, smiling. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, y'know."
His worried and serious expression drops and he smiled, eyes all crinkled.
And that was one sight you won't ever be able to ignore.
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A week later, Natasha dropped by. Sporting a brand new white-blonde hairdo that suited her just as fine as her signature red.
You teased her about it, saying how she must have been waiting for an opportunity like this to have an excuse to drastically switch out her hairstyle.
The two of you sat on the bench on the patio while Steve chopped up wood in the distance, looking like a right ol' lumberjack.
He looked too damn good, and it annoyed you. He wasn't making any of it easy.
"You could switch your hair out too, you know. It helps in going incognito," she reached over and twirled a strand of your hair.
You swatted her hand away playfully, grinning, "Oh, but my face is too memorable so it might not even work."
"Oh really?" she smiled, with that mischievous glint in her eye. "Well, Steve certainly seems to think so."
"Uh, what do you mean?"
"He looks at you like you're his sun or something," she stretched out, amused by the obvious rush of blood to your face.
You shook your head profusely, because of how wrong you thought her assumptions were. "He looks at me because there's no one else around here to look at. Not for at least fifty miles or even more."
"Honey, please. It's my job to know these things."
"Oh, is it now?"
"Mhmm," she patted your knee, tilting her head in Steve's direction without turning to look at him. "I'm willing to bet Tony's LA mansion that he's looking at you right now."
"No, he's not - "
"Then prove me wrong."
But you turned, and you couldn't prove her wrong.
Your eyes met Steve's and when he realized your attention was on him, he simply smiled.
Like you were his sun, Natasha had said. But she was a bit off the mark.
You were never Steve's sun, but he was yours.
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Read part four here ~
taglist (let me know if you wish to be added!) : @vicmc624 @littleliyah16 @babezawa @klammykayla @justsebstan @blue--ingenue @numblytemporary @bradshawass @delicious-xx
It will be a bit more of jumping back and forth through time, before we see everyone back together (even Steve? 🤷🏻‍♀️)
It's the start of a potential Bucky x reader. I gotta be careful here because I might just flip and want the reader to be with him instead.. who could ever look over Bucky???? He's going to make it hard for us that's for sure.
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personasintro · 1 year
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monachopsis | 09
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; after receiving unpleasant news that doesn’t allow you to grow your family, your husband comes up with an idea that unfortunately involves his brother whom he despises
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: tattoo artist!yoongi x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, fluff, smut, mini series, brother-in-law au
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, ANGST
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 16.4k+
a/n: the long wait is over and the new chapter is here 🥹 sit back and enjoy ❤️‍🔥
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The cold and dark night perfectly portrays your inner feelings that dawn on you on the outside too, tears blurring your vision as you angrily wipe them off. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You shouldn't have come here. You trusted Yoongi to help you, maybe you even looked for comfort in him but you never expected he would accuse you of something like that.
Absolutely understanding that it's not his responsibility to comfort you, he could've easily told you to fuck off if he wanted. But still, you hoped he would understand. Your reaction is mainly controlled by your emotions, not with your head that doesn't seem to be in the right place.
Life taught you not to expect things from people, but everyone's got their expectations. Especially when you feel like you know that person at least a little bit. So you expect nothing this time, making your way to the car when you hear your name being shouted on the street. 
You've barely managed to take a few, fast and angry, strolls out of the studio. Glancing back and stopping in your tracks, you notice Yoongi staring at you as he rushes to you. You can't face him now. You turn around and continue in your path with even more eager and faster steps to get to your car.
Yoongi catches up to you though, running after you as the wind gets more intense and makes your hair stick to your wet cheeks. He's not going to let you leave, especially when he stormed out of his studio past his very confused friends. He's not fully understanding what happened, he might've gotten carried away and shouldn't have accused you of such things. But from what you were saying, it was something that made sense.
You're not okay. You weren't okay the second he laid his eyes on you when you were standing at the entrance of his new studio. And you're not okay now when he catches you by your forearm, stopping you from getting away from him and he sees your crying face. 
Fuck. Is that all his doing?
“What do you want?” you snap, shrugging off his touch with an angry frown as you wipe your cheeks with the sleeve.
What does he want? He has no fucking idea. He just couldn't leave you in such a state, knowing you have nowhere else to go. For fuck sake, he doesn't get why you came to him out of all people but you did. And he knows he would feel like a fucking asshole if he let you leave in your current state. The look of you only confirms he has done the right thing. 
“I shouldn't have assumed anything,” he speaks, eyes dancing across your face as you're trying to look angry. Only he feels bad for you, knowing what happened between you and his brother is way more serious. “I'm sorry.”
“I'm sorry I came here. It won't happen again.” you say emotionlessly, ending the conversation there as you turn around.
Yoongi doesn't let you. He catches you again, softly but enough to let you stay as he turns you around. “Where are you going?”
“Why do you care?” The same emotionless tone. It makes his jaw tick. 
“Where are you going?” he asks again, this time more deeper and slower.
“To my car. Now let me go.”
The truth is, you weren't only crying because of what Yoongi said. Sure, the interaction shocked you to the point where you felt disappointment, sadness and anger. You don't even know what emotion dominates. However, it's the awful feeling of loneliness and desperation. You have no idea what you're going to do now.
Yoongi watches you, a realization hitting him. “Fuck, you're shaking, Y/N.”
It hits you too. He's right. You didn't even notice it.
And then you break and a silent whimper leaves your mouth. There's no control over it, your body shaking even more as Yoongi sucks in breath harshly at the heartbreaking sight. He moves automatically, pulling your body to his with no protest from your side as you welcome his warmth. Despite the odd situation and Yoongi's arms around your fragile body, it doesn't dawn upon you he's hugging you until he tightens his grip on you.
“It's gonna be okay.” he mutters into the chilly air.
For a moment you're not able to react in any way, you direct all your focus trying to stop the tears that have welled up in your eyes and rolled down your cheeks. 
“Nothing's gonna be okay.”
“Now that's very pessimistic of you.” He tries to joke lightly, letting out just a light chuckle. But once he doesn't seem you nowhere near amused and in the same state, he gently pulls you off him to get another glance at your teary face.
It's embarrassing that he sees you in such a horrific and vulnerable state. For a solid second you hate him for approaching you. Why couldn't he just let you leave? He said what he wanted to say. The hurt still resonates and even when he gently wipes the tears off your cheeks with his thumb, like you would often see in romantic movies, nothing about this is romantic. You're pregnant, nowhere to go and with no one by your side. 
Yoongi might've apologized already, but his assumption and words still sting and you have a hard time believing him. Is he truly sorry? Or he just didn't expect you to storm out of there like that? And finding you crying in the middle of the street like an emotional wreck?
“Come on, let's get you to the car.” he mumbles under his breath, looking around before he gently tugs onto your wrist. He doesn't let go, almost as if he's afraid of you running. 
“My car's that way.” you point out emotionlessly, stubborn to show any more emotion that you already have.
He was right about one thing. You shouldn't drive in this state. No matter what could've happened, this is no longer only about you. You've got one more person to think about. 
“We're gonna drive in my car.” he simply says and you don't argue.
Once he unlocks his car with a key – the old system of unlocking – you get inside and does it feel odd to be back inside it again? No words are exchanged, the radio playing softly in the background as you allow yourself to lean back and stare out of the window. You're not sure where he's taking you. Oh god, is he taking you back home? You can't go there! Not with Yeonseok there. 
Just as you open your mouth, you recognize the familiar street and the direction you're heading at. 
“Where are we going?” you ask, despite knowing but you still have to ask. Yoongi's aware of that.
“To my place.”
“Yoongi–” 
Still hurt (and upset too) by your latest conversation at his new studio, you're aware of Yoongi wanting to be out of this as much as possible. While you're guessing he must feel bad for you and that's why he's doing this, you don't want him to do this out of pure pity. You would rather be alone in a hotel room until you figure out this mess. 
“You said you have nowhere to go, didn't you?” he reminds you. A little output by his bluntness, your mouth opens and closes before you find words. 
“And you said everything is way past us.” You quote him with an edge to your tone, shooting him a side glance as he keeps his eyes on the road as he lets out a sigh. “Drive me to a hotel. Any hotel is fine.”
You feel his momentarily gaze on you. Too stubborn to look, you keep staring ahead with a clenched jaw. It's not like there's no appreciation of what he's doing on your part. After everything – even if the emotions are too raw and current – you can tell that it's a positive thing that he decided to stop you from driving. As usual, you're absolutely clueless about what's going on inside his head or why he's doing this. You don't think he's got any bad intentions. Regardless of what his parents and your husband say about him, you know Yoongi does have a good heart.
But you've got your own pride as well.
“I know what I said and I'm sorry.” he simply says, continuing in his drive and not changing the direction which you decide not to comment on for numerous reasons. 
The air between you is a little stiff, undoubtedly caused by the misunderstanding (is that what it was?), and the way inside the building and his apartment is spent in utter silence. It's until Yoongi closes his front door and you're met with the familiar scent of oranges and wood, that you finally speak up. 
“Why am I here, Yoongi?” you ask, not taking off your shoes like he tells you to – muttering it almost tiredly to be exact. You ignore him, raising your brow as you demand an answer. 
He takes off his shoes and jacket silently, placing the items to their designated place. He's definitely taking his time but you don't budge, hardening your features even more as he takes a sneaky glance at you. 
“Can we not fight?”
“I'm not fighting!” you exclaim, a little bit too loud which causes him to raise his brow at you this time. “Thanks for driving me but I shouldn't be here.”
“But you came to me, haven't you?” he asks, hardening his features just as much. “You must've wanted help.”
“I needed a friend,” you correct him. “I needed someone who understands.” Your voice wavers and you mentally curse at yourself. 
He has no reaction, simply looking at you until he drops his gaze toward his feet.
“I know we're no friends. I'm aware of that. But I needed someone who's familiar with my situation. It was wrong of me to come up to you. You were right, it looked wrong and I shouldn't have–”
“I was an asshole for assuming the reason for you coming there.” he cuts you off. “It didn't even cross my mind that you needed–that you needed someone who understands.”
“You wanted as far out of this mess as possible,” you point out harshly. “And I can't blame you for it. We all got what we wanted, didn't we?”
He looks up, your eyes meeting for a moment as he understands the double meaning of your words. Poking the tongue inside of his cheek, he looks behind you.
“I don't wanna be any burden to you. I will handle this by myself, somehow. I don't know how yet, but it's not your concern. I'm sorry for coming to you.”
“Don't,” he cuts you off, staring at you sternly. “Just stay here, okay?” he asks, sighing exhaustedly like this entire situation makes him both mentally and physically exhausted. 
It definitely exhausts you.
“Why?”
The question is simple. You don't expect him to give you a proper answer or any at this point. Yoongi might be honest but most of the time, he keeps his thoughts to himself. He's not one to open his heart and if he does, he does it almost emotionlessly. You know it's all an act. The often mentioned build-up wall you named in your mind. 
“Because I wanna help.”
That alone makes your breath hitch. Dryly gulping, you try not to react too much as you stand there not moving an inch.
“Do you, now?” you ask. You're aware of your stubbornness and the fact you're not making any of this easy. You should be happy that he's trying to help. At least someone is. Someone that doesn't need an explanation of what a fucked up deal you made. Someone that doesn't need an explanation of why you left your perfect and loving husband. So yes, he's here trying to help and you should be glad for it. A part of you thinks like that. 
But there's that part of you completely clueless by his intentions or inner thoughts. He's talking but at the same time he barely reveals anything. Perhaps your questioning and attitude is caused by still lingering hurt. 
“Yes,” he answers with a frown. “So let me help you.”
Features softening, you stare into those usually sharp eyes that somehow keep their shape despite the light behind them changing. Hesitantly, you take off your shoes and ignore the fact he's watching you the entire time. Once you're done, he leads you further down his small apartment. Not that he needs you. You know this place well and again, it's not like any of you need that reminder. 
“I can lend you some of my clothes.” he says, motioning for you to sit down on his couch.
You obey, placing your hands over your knees as you look around. Why are you suddenly nervous? Or is that discomfort you're feeling? You definitely imagined all of this to go differently. Still a little shaken up by everything that has happened today, everything starts to take its toll on you. 
“I'm not a tea drinker but I should have herbal tea somewhere. I will make you one.”
He doesn't wait for your response, simply walking away to his kitchen to prepare the tea. He's gone for a few minutes, but you refuse to even look in that direction. You hate that feeling of being alone. As soon as you're surrounded by the four walls and silence, minus the occasional sounds of drawers opening and closing that come from the kitchen, everything starts to replay in your mind like a broken record.
Luckily, Yoongi comes back with a cup of tea, placing it in front of you in utter silence. 
“Thanks.”
He only nods, slowly and carefully sitting down on the separate chair. 
“You can take my bed.”
“I can sleep on the couch.” you inform him. “I'm not fragile.”
He seems like he wants to argue at that statement, he keeps his mouth shut. The couch is nothing but uncomfortable and you both know that. But you don't need him sacrificing himself any more than he already has. 
“Don't fight me on this, alright?” he asks gently. When your stern frown meets his exhausted one, you press your lips into a tight line as you mutter out another thanks. “I've got sessions throughout the entire day, but feel free to do whatever you want.”
“I'll leave tomorrow morning. Thanks for letting me stay the night.” you tell him, meaning every word. 
“You can stay however long you want, okay?” He leans his head, trying to catch your eyes again. And once he does and your gaze naturally finds him, he deepens his stare as if to make sure you understand. “I'm barely at home. You'll have this place all to yourself. Not that there's much to do but…”
You press your lips tightly, a little grin threatening to crack. 
“I'll try to come home quickly. We'll figure it out, okay?”
Looking at him once more, you search his face for any answers that are yet to be answered. 
What do you mean, you want to ask. Since when does he want to get involved?
“I thought you didn't want to get involved.” you say silently, staring at your fumbling hands that rest in your lap. 
“Yeah, me too.” he mutters, his eyes not leaving his form. “I got myself involved the moment I nodded to Yeonseok's idea.”
Flinching at the sound of your husband's name, you clear your throat rather awkwardly. 
“It's not your responsibility to get into this mess. I know in a way you're involved, but you're not entirely involved in my and your brother's mess.”
It definitely sounds messy. The argument started with Yoongi, the entire trail of your thoughts started with him in a way. But he doesn't need to get involved more than that. It was a mistake on your part to come to his new place and search for him, in hope for some comfort. 
“Me staying here is just going to cause a disaster.”
You both know you're talking about your husband here. The look you both share says it all. 
“Yeonseok?” he still asks, chuckling a little.
You nod. 
“I'm not afraid of him.”
“I know you're not but he's… you know how he is. If he finds out I'm here–he probably already suspects I went to you. I'm not sure but I think he does.”
“I'll handle him if he comes here.”
You nervously nibble on your bottom lip. Your stupid decision to seek comfort and support from Yoongi might cause even a bigger mess. 
“Don't worry, okay? I'll handle it. Let me help you.”
After staring at him hesitantly, aware of vulnerability written all over your face, you give him a nod. Something that allows him to relax as he leans back, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. 
“Drink your tea before it gets cold. I'll prepare the bed for you.”
You open your mouth to argue but before you can do that, he's already on his feet walking away. Sighing in disappointment, you reach for the plain black cup nevertheless.
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Yoongi doesn't leave for work too early, but early enough for you two not seeing each other. You wake up later than usual, very well aware your late night staring at the dark ceiling and not blinking an eye has a lot to do with it. No matter how tired you truly felt as soon as you laid into the fresh sheets, your mind just couldn't seem to stop working. 
Yoongi stayed true to his words. He stayed on his uncomfortable couch. Proposing sharing a bed is not something appropriate, despite you've shared a bed before. Things are different now. 
The first thing you did this morning, after blinking off any traces of sleep and staring around Yoongi's bedroom, was turning on your phone. No missed calls. You're not sure whether you're relieved or surprised. Yeonseok is usually very caring and tends to get worried. Deep down you know you expected to see at least a message.
It's better this way. Having him trying to reach you would just make you more uncomfortable. You know he's equally upset and even though you've never been through something like this, you made yourself clear.
Getting out of the bed, wearing Yoongi's clothes which you're trying not to think of much, you find a sticky note on a counter. A messily written note. You imagine him writing it at the last minute, hurrying to leave for work. 
There's some food in the fridge, feel free to make whatever you'd like. It's not much but it should do.
Simple, but effective. 
Turning on the kettle, you prepare a cup and tea. Wow, he really isn't a tea drinker. Choosing the only box he has there, you open the fridge to find good ingredients to make a proper breakfast from. You've never been much of a breakfast eater, but after you got pregnant that has changed. You've been craving more food now, even though you sometimes get sensitive about smells and taste.
You settle on a toast. It takes you around fifteen minutes to prepare everything. You purposely take your time, knowing there's nothing much for you to do for the rest of your day. Maybe you should change back into your clothes and leave Yoongi's apartment while he's at work. As much as he assured you he wants to help, you know that's not what he wanted at the beginning. Not that it matters, but something tells you the inconvenience your stay is going to bring. 
You're not a pity case. You hate the thought of him pitying you.
Regardless of your thoughts, your feet don't cross his doorstep. You're in the middle of watching a movie on his Netflix account (hoping he won't mind you using it) when your phone rings. Brows lift up to your hairline, seeing Yoongi is the one calling you. Pausing the movie, you clear your throat before answering. 
“Yes?”
“Um, hey.” Yoongi starts, clearing his tone from the sudden but apparent awkwardness. “Have you eaten?”
Something about that question makes you snort. 
He groans on the other line. Little do you know he's awkwardly scratching the top of his head. 
“I have.” you say with a smile grazing your lips. 
“I'm gonna buy some groceries after work,” he continues. “There are some flyers on the fridge. Feel free to order dinner, there are uh,” he stops for a second. “A few bucks in my nightstand.”
“Yoongi, I should–”
“Just stay there, okay?” 
He's met with silence. 
“Y/N.” 
Stopping yourself from biting your nails, you lick your dry lips. “Okay.”
Once Yoongi ends the phone call without saying anything else, you stay seated in utter silence – staring at the paused movie. It sounded like he needed assurement you wouldn't leave. You're not sure why he's so determined about you waiting up for him. You wouldn't do anything stupid, it's not like you've got many options to begin with. But you promised him you would stay. 
After all, he's the only person who's helping you at the moment. 
Back in Yoongi's studio, he places the phone back onto a counter with a thoughtful look. Too immersed in his thoughts, wondering what he's going to do once he comes back home, he doesn't notice Jimin coming from the back and joining him in the front. 
“Your next appointment is in five. You alright?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at his friend with a suspicious look. 
“Yeah.”
“Who was that on the phone? Your girlfriend?” he teases the older, laughing at Yoongi's unimpressed glare that tells him enough that he's not in the mood for a dumb teasing. 
Actually, he's not been in the mood since he arrived at the studio and opened it with Jimin's help. While Yoongi's tattooing, Jimin takes care of the phone calls and incoming customers. After he ran after you, his friends were kind enough that they took care of the studio. Without their help, he wouldn't be able to start working and would be forced to cancel his long-waiting appointments. He's not in a position to cancel them. Even after paying his debts, he still needs the money.
His aching back is also a good reason for his sour mood. 
“Don't hate me for asking. You've been quite secretive lately, no wonder we're all a little curious.” Even with Jimin's light grin, there's some truth to his words. 
However, Yoongi doesn't agree. 
He's not been secretive. He's always been the same. And he's sure what Jimin hints at is–
“Does it have something to do with your sister-in-law?” He's met with a tougher glare this time, causing Jimin's hands to lift up in surrender, showing him he means no harm.
“Is she okay though? She stormed out of here looking like a mess and then–”
“She's fine,” Yoongi cuts him off, tone harsher than he intended to which causes the younger's shoulders to drop. “Just some trouble back at home. Come on, the client is coming.” he mutters, walking to the back feeling Jimin's eyes on his back the entire time until he hears his cheerful greeting to one of Yoongi's new clients. 
Despite the lack of Yoongi's will to share any information about what happened in the span of twenty-four hours, Jimin and none of his friends have a clue in what a fucked up situation he found himself in.
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He never said at what time he would be back. 
You've waited long enough for him to come, too embarrassed to admit your ears have been perked up at the littlest sounds, expecting the keys rustling in the lock. But when it was around eight and your stomach started to churn loud enough to no longer be ignored, you listened to Yoongi's words and ordered a delivery. 
At least something seems to go right when you're in the middle of opening one of the containers when you hear the door being pushed open. It shuts in the distance and with soon approaching footsteps, you come into an eye-contact with him. Two bags full of groceries are in his both hands as the delicious smell of fresh food invades his small apartment. He glances at the amount of containers before he looks at you. 
An almost inaudible Hi comes out of your mouth and instead of a vocal greeting, he nods in acknowledgement as he greets you back by it. 
“I ordered some for you.” you tell him, slowly – almost cautiously – sitting behind the table. 
“Thanks.” he says, eyes still lingering on the full table as your eyes widen in realization.
“Oh, I paid for it. I got a little carried away and got us a pizza and chicken wings. There's rice and a few side dishes as well.” 
Yoongi listens for a second, walking to the kitchen counter where he sets the grocery bags before he turns around. He stays rooted in his spot, eyes falling down on you as you give him a sheepish look. 
“I told you there's money in my nightstand. You didn't have to buy all of this.” 
Even with his little pointed look and tone, you know he means well. And perhaps he's too prideful to suck up the fact you paid for it. Yoongi did say there's a few bucks in his bedroom but the order you placed cost more than just a few bucks. Although, you never checked how much money he has there – it didn't even cross your mind – none of it matters. 
“I wanted to buy us dinner. It's my way of saying thanks for letting me stay here. It's the least I could do.”
Holding back any sort of reaction like you're used to when it comes to him, Yoongi sighs and rubs his face tiredly. Then he looks at you and cracks – what seems like an attempt to – smile.
He knows there's no way in arguing with you on this. 
“Thanks. You didn't have to though.”
“I know I didn't. I wanted to,” you assure him right away, smiling in his direction as if to silently say that you're done with this conversation. “Now eat up. I hope you haven't eaten dinner already.”
“I haven't,” he hums, joining you at the table as he looks at the containers opening them. “Just how much did you order?” he asks, lips twitching.
“A lot.” you laugh. 
Yoongi goes to grab utensils, washes his hands before joining you again at the table. The moment of you two sitting behind one table – just the two of you – having dinner feels odd. It feels oddly domestic. Just as the both of you are ready to dig in, Yoongi mutters a soft; 
“Thanks for the food.”
All you can muster is a soft smile without even looking at him, stuffing your mouth with the delicious pizza as you continue to eat in silence. 
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After yesterday's late dinner and during the time he cleaned the kitchen, he asked you for your car keys and documents, so he could bring the car today. Not wanting to argue about that, you agreed to Yoongi's plan – making sure it's no bother which earned a certain type of look from him. Or was it a glare? 
You've had the whole morning to think of your next step. Yoongi had left earlier than yesterday, the only difference is that he informed you about him having to leave very early. Something about his day being fully packed, so the only time he can bring your car is in the evening.
Your entire life is currently a big mess. What was supposed to be the happiest stage in your life, you're spending it at your brother-in-law's place with nothing. All your stuff is back at home. Home. Can you call it that? 
Yeonseok has not contacted you yet. He's probably still upset over the argument and you've no idea what is going on inside his head. Not that you assume he has to contact you in the first place. Actually, you would be glad if he didn't contact you. 
Eventually, the two of you will have to talk. You're not ready. Not after everything that has been replaying in your mind nonstop. Sleep is the only time when you have enough time to rest, and even that is never guaranteed. 
One thing you know for sure, you can't stay here for too long. You don't want to overstay your welcome and despite what Yoongi told you on the phone yesterday, you just know he is going to want this place to himself eventually. Which means, you have to solve this with Yeonseok.
You do have money to stay at a hotel for the time being, but that's not a solution. Just a temporary one. You're pregnant for fuck sake. You're supposed to buy baby clothes and essentials, look around for a good crib and a stroller. Not being in someone else's home, invading their space and privacy and stressing yourself. On another note, it's safe to say that it is completely reasonable for you to stress. Who wouldn't?
The stress has completely invaded your life and while you're trying to keep your cool for the baby, it's bound for it to affect a thing or two. Like forgetting your appointment. 
Good thing is that when you go to check your phone (while trying to give yourself a break from your never-ending stressful thoughts), a reminder pops up on the screen. You've never been one to set reminders on your phone. Just a quick note if there was too much for you. But you've started doing that since going on these appointments that included the baby.
Looking at time, you still have two hours to get there.
But that's where the problem comes. You're without your car, so you're forced to list through your contacts before you dial the only person you've been seeing for the past two days. 
It rings too long to the point you get anxious. You could reschedule the appointment, but with how things have been going so far, you need the assurance that everything is fine with the baby. You haven't experienced anything alarming and concerning that could alarm you, but still. You don't want to neglect anything. If something happened, you would never forgive yourself. 
Whilst in the middle of nibbling on your nails, a gruff voice you've grown to use to reach your ears.
“Um, hi. I'm sorry to bother you, I know you're extremely busy today but–”
“What happened?”
“I'm such an idiot. I just checked my phone and my appointment is today. And you know, my car's not here and I could probably get there by a bus, but I don't know this neighborhood and I'm not sure if I could get there on time.” you quickly explain, not wanting to take much of his time.
You don't know everything about him, but he seems to be the type of person that gets annoyed when someone interrupts him while working.
If he is annoyed, he doesn't show it too much. 
Or it's hard to tell because his usual stoic demeanor can be recognized even through the phone. “What appointment?” he sighs.
“With–with the baby.” 
He stays silent for a moment, “What time is it?”
“It's half past ten.”
“I meant the appointment.”
“Oh,” you let out, chuckling at your mistake as you mentally facepalm yourself. But it's worth it, there's something like a huff of chuckle on the other line which breaks his usual demeanor you mentioned earlier. “In two hours.”
“Ah, fuck,” Yoongi sighs a little, “Okay. I will drive you there.”
“You sure?”
“How else you wanna get there?” he asks, which shuts you up for a moment.
“I mean, that's true but you said you're busy. Maybe I could quickly check the buses and get to your address. My car's there. Oh, how did I not think of it sooner?”
“Stop,” You pucker your lips as you freeze, almost as if Yoongi is right there. “Don't stress yourself. Just get ready, I'll pick you up in like an hour and half.”
“Thank you.” you say, sighing in relief. 
You imagine him nodding as he lets out a humming sound. He excuses himself before he ends the call. Your call falls down on your lap as you stare at the blank screen of his television. Ignoring the thumping of your heart from the entire call, you go get yourself ready.
Yoongi picks you up right on time, his car already parked in front of the building while you walk out of the entrance. When you get inside, you get a greeting in the form of a short nod before he puts the car into drive. Giving him location details, you nibble on your lip for a moment. His car smells like his cologne, mixed with cigarettes and mint. It's an odd scent. Despite you hating the smell of cigarettes, you don't seem to mind this mixture. Besides, the cigarettes' smell isn't that strong. 
“Thanks for coming to pick me up.”
Filling up the silence, you feel like it's the right thing to do because you're not going to spend the rest of the ride in an awkward silence. Glancing at Yoongi, he looks anything but awkward. It's like he's in his own space, distancing from everything and everyone, closing himself off as he focuses on driving.
“Is this the moment where you apologize for bothering me?” he questions, a tilt of teasing in his voice as he says it with the most neutral face. 
You stare at him, mouth agape before he briefly glances at you as he can't hold himself. His lips twitch slightly but you notice it right away. Breathing out a chuckle, you shake your head at him. Min Yoongi is freaking teasing you.
“I mean—you had to get here when you were working.” you point out. 
Though, you weren't planning on apologizing, he's right in a way. 
“But I insisted on leaving your car there. I insisted you drive with me.”
For obvious reasons, you think. Not that you want to admit it, but you're glad he didn't let you drive in the state you were in back then. 
“You don't have your car thanks to me, let's end it with that, okay?”
“Okay.” you agree, turning your head to the window as you stare at the streets and people passing.
Once the road and surroundings become more familiar, the oddness of this all comes to sit in the pit of your stomach. Meanwhile you stare at the tall building you've grown used to, Yoongi finds a good parking spot. Once the engine's off and business of the surroundings can be barely heard through the windows, you reach for the doorknob slowly. 
“You're gonna be fine from here?” he asks, not looking at you when you do glance at him. 
When you don't answer right away, he glances at you before you can find the proper words to tell him that you will be fine.
“You don't need me to go there with you?”
Even if his tone is nonchalant as if he's asking the most basic stuff, he takes you by surprise and makes your brows shoot up. “You would go there with me?” you ask, sounding not totally sold on that idea. 
Looking at him now, he already seems to be wanting to be in a different place. Not in front of a building full of doctors and inside with a bunch of pregnant females. Suddenly, the thought of seeing him there is a little laughable. 
So because of that, you haven't even thought about him being there. Until he said it. 
You do need to admit that you haven't been here alone ever since you got pregnant. Your OB/GYN is here, so you used to go here for check-ups way before that. Yeonseok was the one who joined you right after you got pregnant. Thinking of it now, you're reminded of how excited you were to go for these check-ups, not only to calm down your nerves if everything's right, but to see your baby. Even if you could hardly tell their body parts.
It became the thing between you and him. It's what most expecting parents do, but it became your special thing in a way. Something that you always looked for. Something you've always done together.
But now – it's the first time you're here alone. Yeonseok is not by your side and probably the most distant he's ever been in your life. That's on you though. It would be weird to ask him to come here, after everything that has been said between you and him. 
“I would, if you want me to.” Yoongi replies, catching your attention and as you slowly shake yourself out of your thoughts, you remember what the conversation is about.
“Wouldn't that be weird for you though?” you ask, noticing you still have ten minutes before your scheduled check-up.
He doesn't respond at first, deciding to ignore that question as he sinks deeper into his seat. Elbow coming up to rest against the door, he uses his fingers to rub his chin softly.
“Nothing I couldn't handle,” he decides to say, “You're acting a little weird, that's why I'm asking.”
Clueless to what Yoongi's thinking, he thinks of one of the reasons that could potentially get you acting weird, at least one that's generalized and comes to his mind first. He doesn't even have to think about it too much. You're worried that something's wrong, right? Aren't most pregnant women like that?
Maybe it's better you can't read his thoughts, or else he would get a nasty look in return. You are a little bit more sensitive. 
Should you just tell him? Again, you do not want to burden him in your shit any more than you already do. Telling him about Yeonseok would probably not only put him into a sour mood, but it would mean he would most likely try to understand you. You've figured out a long time ago that he's not bad at all. 
Yoongi is actually a sweet person. Still in his way, but without a doubt, he is one.
Making a decision of just telling him instead, be honest and in a hope he won't think you want to be pitied, you lick your lips as you shrug. “It's because it is weird. Yeonseok used to come with me every time.”
He's silent for a moment, “And now he's not here.” he adds without you having to finish as you nod, confirming his thoughts. 
“Which of course, doesn't mean you have to go with me.” you quickly correct whatever suspicion he might have. 
But looking at him, he looks anything but suspicious. He nods, more to himself than to you or your words, shrugging. “I understand shit about pregnancy, but it probably feels lonely to go there alone, right?”
Well, damn. The look you give him makes him shrug. 
“You don't need to pity me, Yoongi. It's not that big of a deal.”
“I still have to wait for you, right? Need to drive you back.”
“Well, it's up to you.” you mumble, tapping your fingers against your knee. “I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“Around pregnant females?” he chuckles, “How bad can it be?”
“You can come with me, I think…” you nibble on your bottom lip, “I think I would like that.”
He nods.
“But only if you want to!”
By the time you're done talking, Yoongi's already unfastening his seatbelt, motioning for you to do the same. You can't believe you're doing this.
As you approach the building and navigate Yoongi where to go, you're not sure what's weird to begin with. The thought of going here all alone or the thought of Min Yoongi beside you.
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What the fuck.
Pictures of vaginas, uterus and what it looks inside of women's uterus during pregnancy are everywhere. Don't get him wrong, he has seen a fair amount of vaginas and he's quite familiar with it, but not like this. It feels very… odd to be surrounded by a sketched version of it all. Obviously, he's never been in a waiting room like this one.
Sitting next to you soundlessly, he shifts on his spot as you seem to be immersed in your own thoughts. He has no idea why he agreed to this. While he knows you in no way forced him and perhaps you find a weirdness of his presence here as well, he just tried to do the right thing. 
You've been through a lot and as much as he tried to distance from it all, he's got you in his home. Maybe he's not very upfront about it or too enthusiastic, but he does help people that seem in a need of it. Even though he doesn't look like he loves doing it, he just does. Is it important if someone loves or hates helping others as long as they do it? 
Right next to him, legs crossed and fingers playing with your rings, you were right. There are couples, chatting silently with wide smiles as they can't see their little ones forming into a proper life. You were one of those people not long ago. 
You don't allow yourself to feel guilty about it. You did what you had to do to make sure not to hurt yourself or others even more. Only time will show if it was the right decision, but for now, it feels like the best one you could've made. 
On the other hand, you can't believe Yoongi is in a waiting room with you, staring obnoxiously at the image of a uterus. It's pretty laughable though.
Suppressing your laugh, you watch him stretch his legs as his arm rests in his lap. Ignoring the veins that mostly pop up because of the pressure of his posture, he makes himself comfortable. Does he find this weird too?
There is no way he has done this before in his life. Of course, he hasn't. 
“You know,” you murmur silently, just for you and him to hear. He glances at you, giving you his attention but then again, maybe he's glad he doesn't have to stare at the picture any longer. “You don't have to go inside with me.”
As usual, he has no shocked reaction to it. “I didn't even think about it.”
You open your mouth, a little offended look that gives it away as he cuts you off before you can say anything.
“I meant as I'll go and wait with you here.”
He tries to explain in his own nonchalant and informative way. Well, you can't get mad at that. Weirdly, you understand what he means. 
Leaning back and trying to make yourself more comfortable, you hope they'll take you soon so he doesn't have to wait too long. Despite his usually calm demeanor, Yoongi does not look like the type to like waiting. Well, who does? But he surely has no patience for this. Even more so that he has a job that he needs to go back to. 
Luckily, the door opens soon and the nurse you're familiar with calls you in. Some couples like to come early, probably too excited to not mind waiting it out here. Some of them are called as well, since there are more ambulances on this floor.
You grab your things before standing up, making your way inside as the nurse stops you. “Is the young man not going with you?”
Since Yoongi and you were sitting close together, there's a low chance he would be a stranger considering there are free seats on both sides of you. She asks long enough, looking at Yoongi with a welcoming and friendly smile. 
“Ah, that's my friend.”
“We're only screening today. It's up to you though.” she reminds you, smiling widely. You would too if you had her paycheck. It's a private hospital after all.
Not trying to catch too much attention about something so… normal, Yoongi directs his eyes from the nurse to look at you. “It's up to you.”
“As long as you're comfortable with it, Mrs. Min. It was just a suggestion. I know some women bring their friends with them, no matter the gender.” she tries to joke, your smile tight and awkward.
“I'm a family friend.” Yoongi justifies, as if that makes it any better.
It's a look of realization that hits you and you watch it in horrification as her smile grows even wider. “Oh, yes! You do look very familiar. You must be Mr. Min's family, right? It's so lovely of you to come here!”
She's kind and clearly enthusiastic, you can't share it with her though. Staring at Yoongi in pure panic, he gives the nurse an unsure smile as he tries to make things clear – which is not like him at all. 
“I'm his brother.”
You would've guessed he would just keep his mouth shut at Yeonseok's mention, not confessing his relation to him at that. 
“Oh, come on then. Let's look at your niece or nephew.”
You close your eyes, ready to facepalm yourself in front of the entire waiting room as you embrace yourself. You're not sure whether you should laugh at the irony or cry in horrification. 
Yoongi presses his lips tight, nodding awkwardly as he glances back at you, giving you the final decision. 
“I'm okay with that.”
Despite the irony and awkwardness of this all, it would feel less lonely to be inside and look at the baby. Not thinking about the entire biology and blood related thing, Yoongi is a family. Whether we are speaking only metaphorically or taking biology into consideration. If he wasn't fine about it, he would say so, right?
You see he's a little unsure as he stands up, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as the nurse ushers you both come in. It's hard to decipher what's going on inside Yoongi's head. One thing's sure and that is he's nowhere in his field. He still walks in the room, trailing slowly behind you as another familiar room welcomes you.
Just as your doctor undoubtedly notices Yoongi's presence as soon as she looks up from the computer's screen. 
“It's Mrs. Min's brother-in-law.” The nurse cheerfully informs your doctor, clearly unaware of how much more awkward she is making it for you two. 
You can't be mad at her though. She doesn't know. Yoongi does send her a glare which causes you to inconspicuously elbow him when none of them are looking. He shrugs. After all, it is his fault he admitted his entire relation to you. If he kept his mouth shut and just went with being just a friend, it would be less awkward than this. 
“It's nice to meet you! Let's look at the baby!” Mrs. Kim, the doctor, says as she stands up and motions for you to lay down. 
Trying to shake off any discomfort, you lay down and look at Yoongi for a split second. He stays at the end of the bed, trying to look around as if watching the scene in front of him would make you entirely uncomfortable. It's not like he hasn't seen every inch of you. 
Rolling up your shirt just as Mrs. Kim sits down on her stool and prepares the lubricant gel, you spot Yoongi giving you a side glance. His eyes suddenly turn into a big size, naturally finding the small but evident bump you just revealed. 
You intertwine your fingers together and put them above your stomach, you try to stay calm. 
“This will get slightly cold, you know the drill, Mrs. Min.” The doctor chuckles, squirting a proper amount of the gel onto your lower stomach.
Your attention is turned elsewhere, away from the man who seems so out of place at the moment. You focus it on the screen next to your head, recognizing the familiar sight and colors. However, this time everything's bigger and more visible which makes your chest tight and eyes tear up. 
Whether it's your hormones or current situation that makes you so emotional, all the pressure suddenly leaves for a moment at the sight of your baby.
“Everything seems to be looking just alright, Mrs. Min,” she informs you with a smile, giving you a quick glance as she moves the scanner around your lower stomach. “Come closer, Mr. Min. Have a look.” she urges him, just like the nurse, completely oblivious to everything. 
Yoongi looks like he wants to protest, almost ready to shake his head but when she turns to him with an encouraging smile, he sighs and comes closer. He leans forward.
“There is the head,” she explains to him just like she did to you and Yeonseok before. “And arms and legs.”
He stares, mouth agape. Straightening himself, he clears his throat and gives her a nervous smile. But it comes out crooked. You almost snort at that.
“The baby is on the smaller side.”
“Is that a bad thing?” you question immediately.
“Not at all, it's not anything abnormal or to be concerned about. It mainly depends on the parents.” she explains, calming you down which makes you sigh in relief. “Would you like to know the gender?”
“You can see that?” you almost jump, seeing her smile curve into a wider one.
“Mhm,” she nods, “It might not be a hundred percent accurate, you're still at fifteen weeks.”
“Wow, well–”
“We can wait for your husband if that's what you prefer.” she assures you, a sour taste coming into your mouth as you look at Yoongi. 
“It's whatever you want.” he reminds you silently, the corner of his lips lifting.
By how things look with Yeonseok, you're not sure if waiting for him has any meaning. Fuck. You don't even know if he wants to be the father. How can you possibly just wait it out?
“We could do it on your next scan, it will be more accurate. But I can see it now and I'm eighty percent sure.”
Nibbling on your lip, you literally say fuck it in your head. “Tell me please.”
She chuckles, “From the looks of it, you're expecting a baby girl, Mrs. Min.”
A chuckle of disbelief and joy escapes your mouth, knowing whatever the answer would be, you would be just as ecstatic. It's just knowing the truth and more information about your baby is enough to make you a crying mess. 
“I'm sorry,” you giggle, putting a palm over your mouth as you smile widely. 
“Congratulations, Mrs. Min.” The doctor and nurse speak at the same time.
“Congrats.” Yoongi says, squeezing your ankle. You bite your lip, giving him a slight nod.
The doctor hands you the wipes and lets you wipe the lubricant off your skin. You're taken back when Yoongi offers you his hand when you sit up.
“We'll just draw your blood to run some tests and you're free to go.”
“Are you happy?” Yoongi asks silently once the doctor and nurse are nearby, but not enough to hear you two. The nurse is preparing the needle while the doctor writes the report to your patient card. 
“I am,” you answer with a smile, “I still would be regardless of the gender.”
“A little girl.” he mutters, zoning out for a second.
“A little girl.” you confirm.
You both stare at each other until the nurse comes back and interrupts you, preparing you to draw your blood. “Are you good with needles and blood, Mr. Min?”
He cocks his brow at her, showing her his tattooed sleeve, popped out veins along with it. She blushes in return. She freaking blushes as she laughs a little. You watch the exchange with a deadpan look. He smirks, cockily shrugging when he notices your stare.
She draws your blood, handing you water after she's done just in case. After everything's done, you schedule another appointment before you're free to go. Happily clutching the printed ultrasound, you put it into your purse to keep it safe once you get inside Yoongi's car. 
You're both silent, again, deep in your thoughts until the replay of what happened just a few minutes ago makes you ask. “Why did you tell her about being Yeonseok's brother?”
“Why? Should I have not?” he questions right back.
“I just didn't expect that. You're not exactly too keen on informing others about your relation to him. It just seemed odd,” you shrug, voicing out your thoughts. “It felt… awkward. Y'know, considering everything.”
Yoongi stays silent, lips in a thin line before he sighs. “I panicked.”
“You panicked?” you ask, laughing a little at that. “Because of what?”
“I don't know!” he exclaims, almost whining which makes you giggle. “She kept asking and I just didn't know what to say. Wouldn't it be weird for me to be there as your friend?”
“Hm, I don't think so,” you answer, “You heard her. Many friends come there. She doesn't have to know we're not friends.”
“Ouch,” he tries to play it off, clutching his chest as he keeps his eyes on the road. “Are we not friends?”
“I don't know, you tell me. Bro in law.”
“You did not just call me that.” he cringes, causing you to laugh. 
“You were the one who was adamant of being my brother-in-law instead of a friend.” you remind him cheekily, watching the way he looks away in embarrassment. 
“I panicked.” he mutters rather grumpily causing you to hold your laughter.
After a moment of silence, you look at him again. “Thanks for going there with me. Inside too. It felt nice not having to do that alone.”
“I thought so.” He confesses.
“What do you mean?”
“I thought you might feel lonely,”
You're not sure how to feel about that statement.
“And you're welcome.” he says, though his eyes stay on the road, distant and out of reach.
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Delicious smell flows through Yoongi's home as soon as he opens the front door. After he drove you back to his place, he went to work and listened to Jimin's nagging of being a few minutes late. After today, he felt like he could handle anything so Jimin's scolding did nothing to him. Not that it did before but this time, he decided to ignore him instead saying; Well I'm here now.
Jimin, speechless and annoyed, stayed quiet and only shook his head at his boss and friend. What else for him was to do when Yoongi greeted the client and shut the door behind them, hiding from the entire world.
He loves his work. Partly because he's distracted and has no time to think about unnecessary things. Which came handy especially today.
While he was busy working, you don't have much to do. After staring at the scan for a few minutes and dodging your family's calls, you decided to hop into the nearest grocery store. It's been a while since you baked, you prefer cooking but you've been craving something sweet. At least that's what you told yourself, that's the reason why you decided to abuse Yoongi's kitchen. Not because you wanted to do something nice for him, as another thank you for being there for you.
You've no idea if Yoongi even likes cakes.
So when he suddenly appears between his living room and kitchen, at first you have no idea how to explain the slowly disappearing mess that you've tried to clean off before he arrives. 
“I baked bundt cake,” you inform him, palm spreading and pointing straight at the fresh cake where steam still flows into the air. “I hope you like cakes.”
“Cakes are fine,” Yoongi mutters, watching you wipe off his counter right away.
“I'm sorry about the mess, I tried to clean it before you come.”
“'S fine.” he says, still standing in the same spot. He is not sure what to think of this. 
You finish the last traces of any mess, the good smell, you hope, the only sign of baking remaining. 
“Listen,”
You put the kitchen towel back to place, watching him with doe and curious eyes. 
“I was thinking. Maybe you should get your clothes and stuff.”
You stare, Yoongi clearing his throat as he shakes his head.
“I meant from your home. You don't have much clothes here and it must be uncomfortable not having your things with you.”
“Are you asking me to move in, Min Yoongi?” you tease, trying to hide your natural reaction which you're not sure what exactly is. 
He cringes but chuckles, “You're welcome to stay here.” 
You smirk at his diplomatic response before any traces of amusement are gone, a heavy sigh leaving your lips. “You're right. I probably should do that. The thing is–”
A sound of a doorbell rings through the apartment, your eyes meeting as soon as the sound reaches your ears. “Are you expecting someone?”
He shakes his head. His friends know better than to come unexpected, even though he wouldn't put it past them. Without saying anything, he leaves with a thoughtful look to get the door. Something sits in your stomach, perhaps feeling like something's bad coming.
You barely finish the thought when you recognize the voice of your husband, rushed and angry footsteps. It happens in a millisecond and he's revealed in the flesh, shoving Yoongi in the chest. 
“Where is she?!” he asks, too upset to notice you first but the shock causes you to yelp in surprise, clutching your chest as you watch Yoongi shoving him back. 
However, Yeonseok doesn't reciprocate as the sound coming from you makes his head snap in your direction. He straightens, shocked to see you here but then it turns into a knowing and pained look.
“Of course you're here,” he exclaims.
“Calm the fuck down.” Yoongi warns him. Yeonseok knows better than to react to that, too immersed in you, seeing you in his brother's kitchen. Eyes moving to the freshly baked bundt cake, the one you baked for him multiple times and that's when you see rage coming back. 
“So you live here now?!” he yells, causing you to flinch as you can't move for some reason. You're frozen, unable to move an inch as you helplessly watch the scene in front of you. “Playing a happy family with the man that knocked you up?”
“Someone had to when you couldn't.” Yoongi snaps, a loud gasp leaving your mouth as your palm slap against it, eyes fully wide.
Yeonseok lashes at his brother while you watch in horror as Yoongi is being pushed roughly into the wall.
“Stop!” you yell at your husband, already knowing where this is going. “I came to him! It's not his fault!”
“No, but he welcomed you with open arms, didn't he?” he seethes, clutching Yoongi's shirt in his fists as he throws you a nasty glare. “Waiting for this moment to piss me off and get back at me.”
You don't bother explaining to him that no, it didn't happen like that and from what you can clearly remember, he wasn't too keen on getting himself involved. Whatever it is, he still helped you in the end and that's what upsets Yeonseok. 
“Yeonseok, listen to him,” you grit through your teeth, stepping closer as he refuses to look at you now that you're closer. “I had nowhere to go.”
“Bullshit!” he yells, Yoongi growling at him for raising his voice as Yeonseok only tightens his hold. “Tell me one reason why I shouldn't knock your teeth out right now.”
He is a maniac. Yoongi is a fucking maniac because he laughs in Yeonseok's face, not exactly fighting his hold as if the thought of Yeonseok coming even close to getting violent is a joke itself. Perhaps it is. You've never seen Yeonseok fighting or getting violent. You don't like it. 
“Do it, if it makes you feel better.” Yoongi prompts him with a grin, another gasp yet leaving your mouth.
“Yoongi!”
Yeonseok growls at his brother, throwing Yoongi more into the wall as you cringe at the impact. However, the said man looks unbothered and completely loosen up, showing no resistance. This whole I don't care attitude just pisses Yeonseok even more, prompts him to act violent and upon his anger.
“You're enjoying this, aren't you, huh?!” he yells in his face. Yoongi only scoffs, looking sideways to shield himself from Yeonseok's loud voice hitting him right in the face. “Having my wife in this scrappy place of yours–you've waited for this opportunity.”
Yoongi scoffs, finding Yeonseok's accusation nothing but funny. “The wife you couldn't respect the moment she wanted to break-up.”
Yeonseok's mouth opens in a mild shock, his gaze momentarily falling on you as he stares in utter disbelief. You know how it seems. It's not hard to think what Yeonseok's thinking right now. His assumptions are proved right in his slightly hazy mind. It's not helping with his anger and pain at all. He thinks you really spilled everything to Yoongi. And while you were honest with his brother, it wasn't for some vile reason to hurt Yeonseok. You had to talk to someone and Yoongi would get it. He knows your situation. 
“Aren't you two just lovebirds?”
“Yeonseok–” You sigh, exhaustion prominent on your face and voice. 
“S–” He lifts his hand up to stop you. “Shut up.”
His audacity and the fact he has never spoken to you that way leaves you speechless. You're not able to react but there's barely any time to as Yeonseok seems unhinged, seeing red. 
“Have you fucked her again? Huh? Have you enjoyed fucking her when she's still my wife? We were supposed to be a family. You ruined it.”
“You're delusional if you think I ruined your family.” Yoongi argues, scoffing once again as Yeonseok grunts and pushes him into the wall. 
“Yeonseok, that's a serious accusation. I told you, I came here because I had nowhere else to go.”
“Bullshit!” he yells at you, spits of anger landing in front you as you frown. 
“If you just let me explain–we need to talk. We could still be a family, it's you who said–”
“I know what I said Y/N,” Yeonseok cuts you off, voice angered and powerful. “But I knew you would come running to this–” He looks in pure disgust at Yoongi who only lifts his brow at him. 
“You would what?” Yoongi pushes, “You would want a single mother?”
Yeonseok's face twists in another sign of betrayal and turns into anger. “And you would want her? Is that what you're saying? Take her then. Not so cocky right now, huh?”
Yoongi pushes into him, silently warning Yeonseok to keep his mouth shut. There's nothing you can physically do. You can barely move, watching and listening to the words closely as your heart cracks with each spiteful word your husband says. It's the shock of hearing him talking about and with you like that.
You're not innocent in this at all, but this could've been talked about when everyone's calmed down. Actually, Yoongi shouldn't even be a part of it. Whatever is talked about should be kept between you and Yeonseok. Yet again, you're reminded that Yoongi is currently in this position because of you and your mistake of coming to him. 
“You can't be a father, Yoongi,” Yeonseok mocks him, “You just wanted her for a good fuck, is that it? You wanted to get back to me because you're a pathetic brother just as much as you're a pathetic son.”
“Yeonsoek, that's enough!” you yell, no longer keeping quiet but he ignores you, continuing to spit venom in Yoongi's neutral face.
“Try raising my kid–since you so much helped making it.”
You gasp, face twisting into a glare that's shooting at Yeonseok's back.
“Your kid?” Yoongi laughs.
“Yes, my kid.” Is the one argument Yeonseok doesn't let off. 
“Let's see who the kid resembles when they're born.”
And that's the final line Yoongi gets to say with a smirk on his face, completely provoking Yeonseok to the core as he can no longer stand it. He growls before a punch is thrown at Yoongi's face, causing him to almost slide off the way. He catches himself and while you yelp, hands covering your mouth in a pure shock even though you should see it coming. You've never thought you would witness such a violence, let alone a fight shared between two brothers. 
They've never had a good relationship. Though, you never expected them to come to the point where they actually fight. 
Yoongi straightens himself, thumb brushing the corner of his mouth to wipe off a droplet of blood that is a result of Yeonseok's fists. Everything is silent for a second, besides the harsh breaths coming from Yeonseok's angered state and Yoongi's calm breathing. For a split second, you think everything ended. Literally.
But you would be delusional to think otherwise, to think they're done. Because one second you see Yoongi staring deadly at Yeonseok and before the older brother can react, Yoongi's fist meets Yeonseok's jaw in a loud crack, causing him to stumble into the kitchen counter. You gasp, yelling Yoongi's name as you try to catch Yeonseok, so he doesn't hit the edge of the counter. He shakes you off the moment you get to barely touch him, almost as if you burned him.
Frowning, you step aside. 
“That's for every second you've disrespected her since you came here,” Yoongi spits at his brother, shaking his fist and bloody knuckles.
Yeonseok's too busy holding up his bloody nose. The sight makes your stomach churn, both in disgust and worry.
“And you fucking know you deserve much more.”
Yeonseok's eyes shut in pain, shaking his hand to get some of the blood off it. You watch it stain Yoongi's floor and you immediately cringe at the sight. 
He would have a lot to say, preferably arguing back to Yoongi that it could be an endless fight. This has to end. 
Yeonseok is barely in pain, holding himself bravely though as he straightens himself and stares at Yoongi before he moves it at you. “Fuck both of you.”
He storms out of the apartment, leaving not only a mess on Yoongi's kitchen floor and face, but in your heart too. 
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You're met with a warning glare the moment you press a little too hard. Though, the man in front of you remains silent as none of you dare to speak up. The cake is long forgotten, destined to be thrown away like most things in your life. Besides the blood still covering Yoongi's floor – even if it's just a few droplets – you've moved to his bathroom to take care of his wounds.
He argued not to but you insisted, throwing him a warning glare that made him agree.
“Are you okay?” he speaks up, breaking the silence as you toss away the disinfected cotton wool into the bin.
“Do I seem okay?” you question him, “What were you thinking, Yoongi?” you scold him, frowning once again as he opens his mouth before his own frown settles on his back then calm face. 
“What was I thinking? I'm not the one who barged in here to pick up a fight.”
“You provoked him to hit you, don't tell me otherwise.”
“I won't let him speak to me or to you that way in my home.”
That's a valid point. 
Yet you can't stop thinking that all of this could've been avoided if he just wouldn't provoke him. 
“Yeonseok is not violent, he wouldn't have hit you if you kept your mouth shut.”
“So I'm the bad guy here?” Yoongi exclaims, closing his eyes as he rubs his forehead for a second. “He had it coming and I don't regret it.”
“Yoongi–”
“No. Maybe you're okay with him slutshaming and disrespecting you, but I'm not. I'm not gonna stand there and run his mouth just because he's a fucking pussy.”
“I'm not saying–I get that. But you literally pull on his infertility. That wasn't fair nor nice, Yoongi.”
Yoongi sighs, staring at the ceiling to calm himself down. “That might be right. Wasn't exactly fair, but at that moment I didn't care. And looking at it now, I don't care now either.”
You stare at him in disappointment and sadness, leaning yourself against the sink as you hug yourself with your shaky arms. 
Yoongi watches you, gaze softening. “I'm not perfect either, Y/N. I'm far from it actually.”
“I'm not okay with what he said either. But you don't see me hitting him.”
“He hit me first.”
“Yes, because you provoked him to. And you fucking know it!”
Yoongi stares before an amused smirk makes it on his face. 
“Don't fucking look so pleased!” 
He laughs, shaking his head before his smile slowly drops and you're met with soft eyes again. 
“He would've left if we just–I don't know–but I'm sure there could've been no violence. He's hurt, Yoongi. I left him because I was no longer happy in that marriage. He's heartbroken.”
“Are you making excuses for him?”
“No!” you automatically argue.
“Sure sounds like it.” Yoongi scoffs.
You groan, rubbing the side of your face in frustration. 
“You're here scolding me and raising your voice when he came here and insulted not just me, but you too. And you're still trying to understand him?”
“It's because I know why he feels like that! It doesn't mean it's right! This could've gone so differently–and you just kept going. I told you guys to stop–but you ignored me and provoked him–” You stop yourself, staring at Yoongi who just stands in the middle of his bathroom watching you silently. His brows lift up causing you to sigh in defeat. “I'm sorry. I'm taking it out on you because you're here.”
Yoongi stays silent for a moment, letting you drown in your frustration and regret. His point is proven, he has nothing else to say. 
“Obviously I know he's not right either. What he did was stupid–he already came here angry and to see me here–” You sigh, sniffling a little as you turn around to grip the sink. You breathe through the urge to cry and break in front of Yoongi. “I know we talked about this but I should've never come here. This would not happen if I wasn't here.”
“Stop,” he stops you. Lifting up your gaze, you meet his eyes in the reflection of his mirror. “It's not your fault he acted like an asshole.”
“Yoongi, but in a way I provoked him too by coming here. By staying here.”
“That's messed up to think that,” he still argues back. “You know why you came here. Come on, we talked about this. Stop putting more blame onto yourself. He doesn't do it and you shouldn't either.”
“Because I know what I am saying is the truth.”
“It's your truth,” Yoongi points out, walking closer to you. “Know what I'm sayin'?”
You sniffle, “No.”
He laughs silently, eyes crinkling at the ends as his teeth are on full display. He turns you around by gently gripping onto your shoulder. You're stubborn, not wanting to face him as he nudges your chin to look up at him. His thumbs brushes underneath your eyes, preventing the tears sliding down your cheeks. 
“You know, you're just stubborn.” he muses amusingly and softly, just like his sound is. “Now I'm going to wipe the mess in the kitchen and will make us some tea.”
You stare at him in disbelief, seeing him taking a few steps away from you. He turns his back to you, ready to walk out. But he stops in his tracks. 
“And Y/N?”
You look at him with watery eyes. 
“Don't think of running away.”
It's a simple sentence, a tiny bit teasing on his part and you barely manage to break a smile. He does not stay for any longer, taking care of the mess in his kitchen just like he said he would.
When you join him, you see him wiping the last remains of your husband's blood before his kitchen is just as new. Yoongi tells you to sit on the couch and turn on a movie. You don't argue even though watching a movie is the last thing on your wishlist. He joins you shortly after. The bundt cake sliced neatly on a plate, accompanied with two cups of tea. He munches on the cake throughout the movie, even offers you to eat but you shake your head at him, declining his offer. 
He manages to eat all the slices, handing you a blanket when he sees you hugging yourself. 
“Yoongi?” you speak silently throughout the movie. 
“Hm?” 
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
The side of your face pressed against the couch, you stare up at him. “For everything.”
“Are you getting sentimental for me?” he muses, turning it into fun and you realize, you prefer it that way. It loosens up the entire moment and situation, even if just a little bit.
“No, just thankful. I know it sounded like I blamed you, it was wrong of me. You were just here and I let my frustration out on you.”
He smiles, shaking his head as if silently telling you to let it go. “I told you I'm not perfect. I am to be blamed for a lot of things. But I don't regret it.”
“Even if your knuckles are cracked?”
A silent laugh comes from the side. “They're not fully cracked but yeah, even then.”
For the first time after the fight, you let a laugh out of yourself as well.
“Come on, you should go to bed. We'll talk about it more tomorrow.”
“Talk about it?” you question, swallowing down a yawn that wants to let out. He's right. You're tired and should go to bed. 
“The clothes, you need to get them. I will go with you.”
You sit up, hair a little bit ruffled which makes Yoongi stifle back a laugh. “You will? You sure?”
“Yeah, I don't mind.” 
He doesn't tell you that he doesn't want you to interact with Yeonseok, just in case he's there. Considering how shaken up you're from their interaction earlier, and yours too, you shouldn't go through that alone. You're pregnant for fuck sake. You've been through a lot while carrying a fucking human inside of you. That shit is mental.
He makes it sound easy, so easy that you just as easily agree and stand up to move to the bedroom. You linger at the edge of the couch, thinking about still having to change your clothes and take a quick shower. 
“It's probably weird, especially after Yeonseok's outburst but you should sleep in the bedroom tonight as well.”
“Don't listen to him,” he says simply, “But are you sure though?”
“Yeah, I don't mind.” you repeat his earlier words, smiling at it which causes him to chuckle at your slight teasing. 
“Fine, my back will thank you tomorrow.”
Laughing, you retrieve to the bedroom to get your sleeping clothes that consist of Yoongi's oversized shirt and a pair of shorts. God, you really need your own clothes.
While you're in the shower, Yoongi lets the movie continue without actually paying any attention to it. His knuckles slightly burn, the skin there trying to heal. A side of his jaw hurts but knowing Yeonseok's in a worse state makes it better. It's a little bit childish, he admits that but that asshole deserved it. He thinks he can just punch him and not expect a punch back? 
His parents would curse the shit out of him. Regardless if Yeonseok was the first one to attack, Yoongi would be painted as the one that's violent because he fought back. Fuck. He can already hear their potential words so clearly.
You shouldn't have fought back.
It's your fault he's angry.
They've always seen him in a bad light. Partly, he doesn't blame them. He's always been more controversial and wild than his brother. The thing is it wasn't accepted in the family and was approached with a massive hit of criticism and negativity. Partly, Yoongi blames them for how he turned out. 
Reaching for his phone, he dials Jimin's number without a second thought. He had enough time to think this through and know that he promised something, he can't change it. He would look like a total asshole. Plus, he doesn't want to change it. Somehow, you've grown to like him. It's embarrassing to admit, but seeing you in such a poor state makes him pity you. You would hate him for these thoughts, that much he knows. 
“Bro, it's like night.” Jimin accepts the call with a scolding tone.
“I need you to take tomorrow's appointments.”
“Why? Are you okay?” he asks immediately, tone changing to a confused one. Yoongi has never canceled any of his appointments. A part of keeping his business good and professional, he always dedicated all of his time there. He's not surprised by Jimin's confusion.
“Yeah, I just have some errands to run and I won't be able to be there for a whole day.” He gives a brief explanation, not giving any details. 
It's not like he doesn't want to share. Even though he's not a sharing type and keeps stuff to himself, he doesn't see any point in sharing a huge portion of your mess that is called life. It just doesn't seem fair at all.
“Dude, everyone's gonna be mad. They want you, you know that!” Jimin argues, panicking which is understandable. 
Yoongi doesn't brag about it, but he knows most clients come to him for their tattoos specifically. Everyone in his team is good, he doesn't doubt it. But even they know how some people come to the studio specifically for Yoongi. 
“I can't reschedule them, I'm fully packed.”
“Duh, I know that! What are you even doing Yoongi?”
“None of your business,” Yoongi answers calmly and casually, causing his friend to groan loudly into the receiver. “Just do it. If they don't wanna get tattooed, just give them back their deposit. Or reschedule their appointments, though they might wait months.”
“This better be worth it.” He hears him mumble.
“It's a family emergency.” It's the only explanation Yoongi offers him.
“Family? You don't care about your family.” Jimin points out the obvious, causing Yoongi to purse his lips slightly offended. 
It's not like he doesn't care about them. Sure, he seems like it but it's not exactly the truth. He doesn't blame Jimin for thinking it though. He made it seem and obvious as if he doesn't care about them. In some fucked up twisted way, he does. 
“Thanks, I owe you.” Yoongi ignores his previous words, not putting them any more attention than he already did by listening to them. 
“You bet…” Jimin mutters under his breath, not having enough time to complain as his kind friend ends the call with that.
Later after he takes a shower while you're already in bed, he joins you. He thinks you're asleep but by the sound of your breathing and fidgeting, you're still awake.
“Can't sleep?”
You flinch a little, probably surprised by his sudden voice and the fact he's aware of you being awake. “It's the baby.”
“Is something wrong?” Yoongi asks right away without thinking of it. He lays back, clearing his throat as he stares at the plain ceiling instead. The entire bedroom is swallowed in darkness, letting only moonlight in. He has noticed you prefer sleeping that way and he doesn't have the heart to close curtains. 
“No,” you giggle, “She's just moving a lot. Sometimes even kicks me.”
“She… she does?” Yoongi asks, unsure. He has zero knowledge about babies. Let alone how it properly works inside a woman's uterus. It's pretty laughable because he's that clueless.
“Yeah, probably won't let me sleep for a while.”
“What a brat.” Yoongi mutters and you gasp, elbowing his side as he cackles at you. 
“You did not just say that,” you exclaim, offended as he continues to laugh silently under his breath. “She's been an active baby lately.” 
You've no idea why you're even telling him that. Something just wants you to fill up the sentence. You and him don't talk about the baby a lot. It seems like a taboo topic for understandable reasons and that's solely for not making it too weird.
Yoongi's quiet and while your eyes have adjusted to the darkness, you can clearly see him fully awake with eyes open, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling. You turn to your side, hissing when you feel a light kick in your ribs coming from inside.
“What are you thinking about?”
He doesn't look like he wants to answer, something holding him back. But then he probably seems awkward enough so he swallows, shrugging.
“My mom always said I moved a lot and shit like that. You know–like when she was pregnant.”
The hint of something that has been secretive but very obvious to you from the start causes your breath to catch in your throat. You've never openly talked about the baby being biologically Yoongi's. It's not something you can forget and despite not talking about it, you've been thinking about it almost all the time.
“Oh…”
“Yeah…” he mutters. “Is that weird shit to say?”
“It's not weird,” you assure him softly. Kind of. “I actually find it interesting. If it… if it was a stranger I probably wouldn't know these things.”
“Forget about it, I was just babbling. It just reminded me of that when you said…”
“It's okay, Yoongi.” You laugh at that, feeling his embarrassment. It's practically seeping from him. “Thank you for that. I mean–I'm grateful for that information. Is that a weird thing to say?”
“No, unless we make it weird.” he states, voice different from the usual laid back Yoongi you know. It's kind of cute.
“Okay, let's not make it weird. Let's talk about something else.”
“Talk? You should sleep.”
“I can't when she's moving around so much.” you argue.
It's silent for a moment.
“Does… does it hurt?”
“Sometimes,” you admit softly, “But not so much yet. It probably will get worse once she's bigger.”
“God, why do women go through that?” he mumbles, causing you to snort.
“If your mother didn't go through that, you wouldn't be here.”
“What a lovely life that would be.” he hums thoughtlessly, while you choke back onto your laughter.
“Don't say that!” you scold him. “None of us have asked to be here.” 
“True.”
Again, a little awkward silence is shared between you. Well, you're not sure it's purely awkward but you're both fully awake, not ready to fall asleep just yet. You don't know about Yoongi but…
You groan when the little baby growing inside you starts to move around again. You caress your stomach, feeling as if she has a hiccup. “I think she has a hiccup.”
He probably doesn't care, but you share that thought out loud. 
“You can feel that?” He sounds confused.
“Yeah,” you nod. “You wanna feel it?”
He stays silent. And for a second, you're sure you've crossed a line and he will just go backwards, distancing from you and the entire situation. 
Indeed, Yoongi feels a little awkward about your question. He has distanced himself, not wanting to admit the fact that you're indeed carrying a baby he helped conceive. It's a weird shit to think about. He can't think about it because it automatically makes him feel uncomfortable. He never had a plan to stay in contact with you. 
He would never imagine sharing a bed with you, unless it was for a sex. And you had lots of it. Maybe not as much as he wanted but still. 
If he knew you would be laying in his bed pregnant, he would probably never agree to this. As bad as it sounds. 
This scares him.
But then he thinks of you and your perspective. He has no idea what your thoughts are, well some of them. But something about your innocent and sweet tone makes him rethink. You're here, after an awful day, not crying like he has expected you to do. He sees the light in your tone, one that's caused by the baby growing inside you. You're trying to be friendly, having just as friendly a conversation and Yoongi realizes – he's that for you. 
A friend. 
You need a friend. You've no one else to talk about it, not currently at least. You've distanced yourself from everyone else for understandable reasons, and he can relate to that.
“Won't that be awkward?” he questions. 
“Not unless you make it to be.” you hit him back with his own words, the fact causing his mouth to twitch. 
“Okay, sure. It's a one time experience anyway.”
You snort, “You make it sound as if you won't ever meet a pregnant lady.”
“I've met a few but never had an urge to touch their belly. That shit's weird.”
Giggling, you shake your head at him. “Maybe in the future, you will.”
“Future?” he asks, completely confused. 
“Maybe if you're gonna have a wife or a girlfriend.” you say, slightly unsure of this topic. Is it okay for you to talk about this? Either way, it's too late to not answer his question anyway. 
After all, this specific topic shouldn't be weird.
“I don't want kids,” he informs you, carefully but sternly at the same time. “So that's not happening.”
Sighing, you don't argue about that. If he accidentally gets someone pregnant, he won't be able to control that aspect but you don't remind him of that. He seems stubborn and determined about this opinion of his. And you respect it.
It's silly and you shouldn't have the right to feel this way, but you feel slightly saddened that he's so keen on telling you he doesn't want kids. Even though you've known that for a long time. It's a reminder that he does not want to have anything to do with the baby inside you. It's nothing new but somehow that thought still doesn't sit with you well. 
Instead, you swallow all those feelings and take the duvet off your body. 
“Whatever,” you murmur nonchalantly. “Give me your hand.”
He does, without question. You try not to think about how warm and big his hand feels. You ignore the little fluttering butterflies that set in the pit of your stomach and inside your chest. Your baby is not to be blamed for. 
You move his hand on your stomach but not before pulling up your shirt. You're starting to feel too warm anyway. This way he'll be able to tell the movements more clearly. 
“You feel it?” you ask, holding his hand as soon as it's placed over your swollen stomach.
“No? I ain't feel shit.”
You giggle, “You're an ass.” 
But then, a sudden kick is sent next to Yoongi's hand. It wasn't a direct move under his palm but he had to feel it regardless. A surprised Oh makes it out of his mouth.
“That's so weird,” he mumbles thoughtfully. 
Then she continues again, her little movements more recognizable and becoming slowly familiar to the man laying next to you. 
“She's so active.”
“She is,” you hum, slowly letting go of his hands. He lets it rest there for a moment, taking the cue as he pulls it away slowly. “Could let me sleep now though.” You try to play it cool and calm down your racing heart. 
Pulling the shirt back down and covering yourself with the duvet, you're trying to act cool like before. 
“Wow,” Yoongi says, taken back. “It's weird to think there's another person inside you.”
“Tell me something about it,” you chuckle. “I've wanted to get pregnant for a long time. But nothing could've prepared me for the way it feels. It's weird, I can't describe it.”
He surely can't understand what you're talking about. You don't want him to. You just let your thoughts run free. Some part of you wants to confess those thoughts to Yoongi. Another weird thing to say, but he's like a safe place in a twisted way. You can be honest, even though you're slightly sheepish about it. You can confide in him.
You think he has no idea what he means to you. And even if it's just for a certain time being, you're grateful for it regardless. 
Before you know it, the movements stop and you're finally allowed the tiredness to come in. You slowly drift to sleep, clueless to Yoongi being fully awake as he stares at the ceiling with the weirdest feeling all over his body. 
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It's not as if morning is any better. Surprisingly, you haven't had that much trouble sleeping and you barely woke up. Yeonseok hasn't haunted you in your dreams either, which made it more enjoyable and comfortable. You were too exhausted last night, so a good sleep made it better for you to see today's morning in a better light. 
Yoongi's still asleep, his alarm hasn't ringed yet and you wondered if you should wake him up. Maybe he forgot to set up his alarm, but something tells you that's very unlikely. 
After you've washed your face and teeth, you decided to give him a few minutes and will try to wake him in case he has really slept in. However, the aftermath of yesterday's events and your good sleep, a cause of your positivism, doesn't last too long when your phone rings. 
At first, you don't think much of it. Your father calls you from time to time, he has to when you suddenly go silent. Using busyness as a great excuse when you've been anything but that. He doesn't know that which makes the lie more believable. 
As you get to hear his raspy voice again, you expect him to start the same way.
How are you? 
Why haven't you called?
But none of that comes as he sounds nothing but concerned, even a little skeptic.
“Y/N, is everything okay with you?”
That alone should alarm you and it does, but you remain cool and voice your confusion. “Yes? Why wouldn't I be?”
“Don't lie. What's happening there?”
He doesn't sound upset, he sounds more worried than anything else. “What do you mean? I'm fine.”
“Really? Because Yeonseok called us yesterday, well today, he kept saying something about you sleeping with his brother?”
You freeze, shame washing over you like the coldest bucket of ice.
“Is that true?”
“Dad, I promise you–It's nothing like that.” 
Perfect. Thanks Yeonseok a lot.
“He was also wasted, could barely talk. Called us like two in the morning.”
Sighing, you sit down as you grip your phone tighter. It seems like you can't have a rest for at least one day. Everything keeps biting you in your ass when you think things are getting better. It fucking sucks. 
“We're going through a rough patch right now.”
“And you broke up with him?”
“I–technically yes but it wasn't like that. I promise you, it's nothing like that.” you telling, aiming at Yeonseok's accusation that might not be a complete lie but you know how it sounds. 
“Then how is it?”
“Dad, I really don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry Yeonseok woke you and Barbara,” you say, mentioning his longtime girlfriend who's like your step-mom. You know she's just as worried. You're surprised she's not the one that called. “He has a hard time dealing with our break-up.”
“He said you're staying at his brother's, is that true?”
One thing about your father is that he never really got into your business. If he was curious or even nosy, he never let it known because he respected everyone's space and privacy. So to have him question you like this means he's truly worried and the call he received from your still husband has made him alarmed. 
“Yes–”
“So it's true? Y/N, have you cheated on him?”
“God, no!” You exclaim loudly, taking a deep breath as you release it in a form of loud sigh. Technically you haven't. “I haven't cheated on anyone. Look, it's really complicated. I had nowhere else to go.”
“Nowhere else to go? You could've come here.”
You sigh, rubbing your tired eyes. “I know but I didn't wanna bother you with our issues. Yoongi is familiar with it, so I just decided to come here. It's just for a few nights, I will figure it out. Don't worry.”
“How can I not worry when I found out from my son-in-law that you're not living at home? And that you live with his brother instead?”
“He's not exactly the perfect husband you have him for, dad.”
“What do you mean by that? Did he hurt you?”
“Not like that,” You shake your head. “I had a share on it too. None of us are innocent. Look, all you have to know for now is that I'm okay. I need to figure this out on my own. You've nothing to worry about.”
“You can't just tell me you live somewhere else with Yeonseok's brother, and tell me not to worry!”
“Listen, dad. I love you but I'm very close to hanging up. I understand you're worried but you're not exactly helping me with freaking out. I told you I'm fine, so please trust your daughter instead. I'll handle it and I'll talk about it when I'm ready.”
Well, you're not sure if you should tell him the entire truth. The thought of that is embarrassing and completely uncomfortable. You're not going to tell your dad that you've slept with another man just to get pregnant. Even if Yeonseok agreed to it. 
Overall, you would spare him the details. 
“But you're pregnant. You're carrying his child. You can't just leave and not talk to him.”
“Oh, I talked to him. He's not as interested in being a father as he was.”
“What?!” He yells into the phone, causing you to cringe at his shocked and upset tone. “He said that?!”
“Along the lines,” you mumble, “Don't worry, I'm doing fine. So is your granddaughter.” 
“G-granddaughter?”
That finally gets his mind off Yeonseok. “Yes. I had it confirmed yesterday.”
He sighs, chuckling on the other line. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“Y/N–”
“Dad–please.” 
He sighs in defeat. “Okay. But promise me you'll call if you need something.”
“I always will, dad. Please don't worry.”
Eventually, you end the call. Just as your phone is being tossed onto the counter, Yoongi sleepily steps into the kitchen with bed hair and narrowed eyes. “Why were you yelling?”
“It's nothing.”
“Y/N…” Yoongi warns, narrowing his eyes through his tiredness.
“It was my dad. Yeonseok called him drunk last night.”
“Fuck,” That has him waking up as he stares you down. “What did he say?”
“That I cheated and I'm staying at your place.”
“What did you tell him?”
“Not much,” you admit, “I don't want him to worry.”
“He's a fucking idiot.”
“Yoongi…”
“No, he is.” He insists, rubbing his chest tiredly as anger twists his puffy face. He looks cute, even with the tattooed sleeve that's on full display. 
“He was drunk,” you point out. “Surely angry and upset.”
“I'm surprised he didn't run to mommy and daddy.”
“Shit,” you exclaim. “What if he did?”
“Would it matter?” Yoongi questions.
You stare at him as if he grew two heads. “Of course! What would they think of me?”
“You really care about that?”
“If he told them the story that I cheated on him with you, I do care!”
Yoongi sighs, leaning against the door frame with arms crossed over his chest. “We know it's not the truth. Not exactly. And we will explain that to them if it ever came down to it.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“Because it is,” he argues. “And there's no need for you to worry about it too much, alright?”
You give him Really? Look.
“If he called your dad, I really doubt he got our parents involved. Knowing them, they would call or barge in here right away.”
“You think?”
“Oh, I know.” he hums. “So don't worry and get yourself ready.”
That's right. You're supposed to get your clothes today. But you thought it'll be later on, probably when he gets back from work or over his lunchtime. You just need to get your things. It shouldn't take too long. 
“Are you not going to work today?”
“No, I have a day off.”
“Really? You never mentioned anything about having a day off.” you wonder, staring at him straightening himself as he stretches his arms, shrugging.
“Didn't think it's important.”
“Okay,” you sigh. “What if he's there?”
Yoongi watches you for a moment, “That's why I'm going with you.”
“I think that will piss him even more if he sees you there.”
“Should I not come?”
You shake your head, “That's not what I meant. I just–I don't know what's right or not anymore.”
“It's true, maybe he wouldn't get so angry but there's no guarantee he won't get verbal again. I just don't think you should go through that alone.”
Something about his words make your chest warm, an appreciative smile beaming on your lips but you shake yourself out of it as a smirk replaces it. “Are you starting to care about me?”
What you get in return is a mixture of a chuckle and smirk. “I'm serious, Y/N,” he says, more seriously. “I'm going just in case he needs another punch.”
“Please, don't say that.” Your smile drops. 
“I can't promise anything but I'll try to be on my best behavior.”
“Somehow, that doesn't go along with you.” you tell him with suspicious eyes as he smirks. 
“You're gonna have to wait and see.”
“No fights.” you warn him, lifting up your finger at him to make yourself clear. 
“Okay, mom.”
“Ew.” you cringe, walking past him but not before slapping his chest. “Keep it down.”
“Yes, ma'am.”
You walk back into the bedroom, to change your clothes and get yourself ready with an unbelievable smile on your face. You fight the sheets neat and made, a fresh air filling the bedroom that has become too familiar to you. 
With a lighter feeling in your chest, you prepare yourself for what's about to come.
2K notes · View notes
noroi1000 · 1 year
Text
I win No Nut November. What now? Destroy Dick December!
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paring: Gojo x fem.reader
Summary: Your husband has one last day left to win his NNN challenge.  But what he doesn't know is that after NNN, he gets the DDD challenge.  However, once he found out about it, you especially know it's going to be Destroy Your Pussy December. Because he has already started acting wild.
Warnings: NSFW( DDD and NNN, smut, raw sex, creampie, rough sex)
Words: 3,4k
©Photo from Gojo x female. fancomic, on Pixiv.net©
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"Are you still trying?" You asked as you saw your husband look away as you got dressed after the night.
Especially when you were wearing underwear.
"You know I'd love to watch, or forbid you to get dressed... But this year I'll make it!"
"I hate November for this." You giggled as you put on your pants.
"I have two days left... I have to make it this year."
"You last failed two days ago."
"I'll make it this year! I just can't get excited..."
"We'll see if you make it."
You left the room giving him one last kiss on the cheek.
You didn't like NNN.
He has never succeeded.
He knew what NNN meant. But he doesn't know that after NNN he has to accept the DDD challenge.
Even though he might like it at first, you know he won't last. Especially at the end of the month.
You are afraid that he will ask you for help.
Or rather... He won't ask, he'll take you to help him.
Have you read about what to do when you win No Nut November... DDD scares you...
Because your poor pussy will probably suffer the most.
You wanted to give your husband the satisfaction that finally, after several years of trying, he succeeded.
But you were also afraid of what might happen to you later... All day in bed...
Last year he failed because he saw you naked in the shower and couldn't get out.
He spent the evening releasing everything he hadn't released in a month.
And then he tormented your body all night.
But later he was sad that he failed to overcome the challenge.
So this year he definitely wanted to succeed.
And when you heard his motivation, you knew he was going to try.
You didn't like the fact that he turned his back on you so he wouldn't start undressing you, but you understand that he would like to have the satisfaction that he managed to overcome such a difficult challenge.
However, this challenge is so difficult that he often gets nervous.
He was always relaxed and satisfied. But a whole month without sex? He was nervous and often annoyed. Impatient, and he really couldn't find his place. He couldn't sit still in one place.
Because many things annoyed him.
And all that his balls were full of unused sperm he couldn't pour inside or on you.
Something he loved to do...
He couldn't even masturbate. Because even one small orgasm would have ruined his job since the beginning of the month.
So he was oversensitive and sexually frustrated.
His body craved sex. He wanted to strip you down and fuck you raw anywhere.
But he couldn't because he was the strongest. If he could do anything, he could do that too.
He is the strongest. And the strongest can survive No Nut November!
Even if the longer he was at this challenge, the more he disliked it.
But, to show his power, he had to...
His self-control had to show that he could.
That's why your house was banned from doing anything sexy for the whole month of November. Especially for you.
You were not allowed to undress. Wearing his clothes, wearing clothes that reveal too much. Any of your clothes might have turned him on somehow! And if you went without clothes, it would be even more difficult for him!
You bathed separately, changed behind different doors. Him too. You couldn't watch any movies with sex scenes. So you've been watching children's movies...
Even hugging and kissing was a problem sometimes...
Because someone so kinky, with such a huge sex drive, couldn't help but think about how soft your breasts are... How smaller you are than Him...
That you're touching him and your hands could be somewhere else...
That's why he took missions during November. Because fighting a curse he won't get excited... Because curses are disgusting...
But there were times when he had dirty thoughts about you. wet dreams...
It was so good... For his body. To soothe what was going on between his legs..
It was unpleasant, but he wanted to show that he could do it.
Someone who would like to fuck you several times a day...
He wanted to endure these last days without complaining...
But he felt sore and irritable.
He was nervous and screaming.
Once you told him that you were fed up with him behaving like this and you deliberately started to undress in front of him and take off his pants.
He pulled you away and went quickly, pouring ice water all over him.
That was two days ago...
It will be over soon...
Just a little more...
Since you don't like not having sex for a month either...
You're also annoyed that your husband who was always the first to get at you now suddenly didn't want to because he wanted to survive a stupid challenge!
Lucky you had toys to help you function.
What happens to Gojo Satoru who is sexless is scary...
You never knew him when he turned his head as you changed.
You've never seen him without making some sex jokes or talking about how he'd fuck you.
It wasn't your real husband.
That's why you hated November!
You don't know what you'll prefer, November or December when he finally manages to win. Because you can't handle that much sex a day!
How can you endure so much?
He may, but you can't!
You're not sure if No Nut November is very healthy because keeping it all inside is not that healthy. But that's probably worse than the daily sex he'll have to have all December.
You made him coffee while you were in the kitchen.
You saw him come out of your room in just his panties, adjusting the soft bulge behind the material with his hand.
He must be uncomfortable...
He is a walking bomb...
You don't know when he'll suddenly show up.
You gave him a cup of coffee, standing on tiptoe to kiss his jaw. And you went to finish your breakfast.
His eyes were tired. He looked like a zombie. So sleepy and tired.
He sat down in a chair next to the kitchen island and started drinking from a cup so he could function normally from the morning.
You have to give him sugar for breakfast so he has the energy to go to work and back.
You hope he doesn't die of exhaustion and lack of sleep. You don't want to find him dead on the ground with his finger pointing at the "I want sex" carved into the sand.
He didn't sleep long at night, afraid he'd have wet dreams and wake up cumming in his pants.
And even an unconscious orgasm means losing.
So you hoped he wouldn't collapse from exhaustion and lack of sex.
Because you had good news for Him.
But you weren't sure if he'd like it or not.
While you were making him waffles with chocolate, whipped cream, jam and fruit, you looked at him.
Seeing his tired eyes as he drank his coffee like a zombie.
The caffeine should kick in soon.
"Satoru. I have something to tell you." you said with a small smile.
You're in much better shape than he is.
Because you haven't had a challenge for thirty days.
"What is it, baby...?" He asked, closing his eyes with a sigh. "If you're going to chastise me for this challenge again, don't do it... It's also giving me a hard time... I've had enough of this..."
"You can do it." You said with a smile.
"Do you really think so? You always said I should give it a rest." He suddenly woke up and looked at you with his normal eyes.
You gave him energy.
"Do you really think I can last two days?"
"You won't last two days."
"Ouch... It hurt baby..." He faked heartache. "So you don't believe in me after all..."
"That's not the point. It's just November 30 today." You pointed to a calendar on the wall.
He stared at it in disbelief.
"Wait... Today is the 30th not the 29th?" He asked, staring at the calendar for much longer.
"Today is the 30th of November. This is the end. Unless you have something planned to do today."
He stopped you, extending his hand towards you.
"Don't talk about details! I will not lose! Today is the last day!"
"You can do it. At least I think so. Because what comes after No Nut November you might like. Even though it's a little scary to me..."
"Is there anything after that?"
"Second challenge. I was curious about the rules and found this. But you should see for yourself what happens when you win this."
You handed him your phone with a website that said "NNN and then DDD! Only for the persistent! If you pass the NNN challenge, DDD is waiting for you! Destroy Dick December!”
"Destroy Dick December?" he asked, looking at the article.
"Read it. Either you'll want to finish NNN and move on to DDD or you'll give up and we'll have normal sex as always." You stood by the counter, studying his face as he scrolled through your phone.
He started reading about what it was about.
"Sex for 31 days in December?!" he asked almost screaming.
"Yes. Sex for 31 days in December. But during that day you have that number of intercourses depending on the number of the day. December 1 - sex once. December 10 - ten times. December 31 - thirty-one times." You said with a serious face.
"Baby!"
You looked at him.
Sparks in his eyes.
Playful sparkles.
Pervert sparks...
Someone who will only think about sex...
You're regret that you told him...
"Can I fuck you thirty-one times in one day?!" He asked with a smile.
Eyebrows raised.
"Don't get so excited because you'll still lose. Basically that would be better because I don't want to spend the whole of December in bed having sex." You crossed your arms over your chest.
"Did someone just say something about the bed? I'm the one who's supposed to come 31 times on December 31st. And you give me your pussy so I have somewhere to cum and something to help me. Baby~." He stuck out his tongue with a toothy grin.
"You have to cum so many times... and I'm going to cum twice with you!” You screamed blushing.
"I know you like it when I make you squirt."
You widened your eyes with a red face.
How can he say it so calmly?
He avoided the topic of sex for a whole month only to say something like that on his last day?
His brain has become corrupted by the excess semen his body has produced!
"I'm not having a pant party, baby. I'll wait until midnight." He gave you a very dark, sex-only smile. "I can last several more hours. So that I can fuck my sweet wife a total of 496 times throughout December."
You could see your spirit fly out of your head as you die inside.
Have sex with him nearly 500 times?
He must have a calculator in his brain!
Ah... Oh yeah... When it comes to sex, he can count anything...
Same with sweets...
Sweetness Calculator and Sex Calculator...
Maybe instead of your ghost, the ghost of your poor pussy that will be abused by it so many times would be flying here...
You can now place the tombstone.
R.I.P - your poor pussy
Cause of death: Taking a big dick 496 times in one month.
"Aww~ are you ashamed?"
You looked at his smile.
Now he won't let go.
You unconsciously clenched your thighs at the sight of his smile.
Is it fear or excitement...?
"Don't be shy yet. Wait till midnight where I'll make use of that tight pussy that hasn't had my cock in it for a month. You don't know how happy I am to be able to go there again ~."
"M-Midnight?"
"You know honey... After midnight it will be December 1st. And I can start my second challenge right away!"
His face scared you a bit...
A creepy smile that only showed that he was going to destroy you all December.
You turned your back to him to hide your red face and wide eyes.
Your hands are shaking.
Is it excitement or fear?
You started to finish making breakfast, and as you handed it to him on the counter in front of him, you quickly ran to the bathroom to get rid of the sexual pressure he was causing.
"Honey, how about a kiss for me?!" He shouted after you.
As you closed the door, you heard his dark chuckle.
You signed your death certificate...
____
"baby~. Do you know what time it is?~"
You hid under the covers in your bed.
You were filled with this dangerous excitement... He was so dark...
Satoru without sex for a month is someone to be feared...
You can't believe how calm he was at work.
You heard the sex-hungry monster walking the halls to the rooms looking for you.
His footsteps echoed in your ears as the bedroom door was half open. And you were in your pajamas under the covers.
You did it for fun. But also because you had a little fear.
You keep imagining him walking around the house in the dark, his eyes lit up as he's just looking for your pussy to fuck you.
This is how you'll spend your time...
Imagining your husband walking around the house like in a horror movie...
Why is his giggle so dark even though you know he wants to have fun?!
But his trademark laugh was so dark today!
At least that's what you thought...
"Honey~."
A shiver ran down your spine as you heard him closer.
You were a little afraid of the moment when he would come here.
But you wanted to call him here as well.
You could even imagine a scene from a horror movie where he levitates outside the door, grinning darkly in your direction as he flies over to the side.
That would be older and funny.
But let's be honest... The NNN Challenge changed his behavior.
So all you can do to get that same husband back is let him fuck you mercilessly...
His footsteps and calls ceased. And you wonder what now. It was still fun...
Having fun with him...
And that made your pussy die...
He said an hour ago that he wants to penetrate your little tight pussy so much and stretch you so much that you can hold all of him.
So he can squeeze every inch into you. That there was no room for more. So that your pussy is filled to the brim.
It got you so excited...
Lying here in bed you started to get wet as you imagined what he would do to your body.
You gently pulled the covers off your face and saw that he wasn't next to you.
You also don't feel the weight next to you or above you.
You pulled the quilt back.
You were afraid of one thing...
There was nothing near or at the entrance.
The lights in the hallway were off.
And that made you feel so excited...
So much time without sex with him worked on you too.
You pushed the covers away from your face, and you shivered as you saw the blue glowing eyes above yours.
He levitated over your body with the same smile.
"Hello baby~!" He groaned smiling.
He tore the covers off your body, placing his feet between your knees to spread your legs apart.
"Time for my Destroy Dick December!"
He grabbed your pajamas, tearing the material.
"How about we start an IFMWP?"
You thought about what he said for a moment.
This is supposed to be his next wild idea?!
"I Fuck My Wife's Pussy!"
___
Your body was bent in half as he kissed your calf.
Your bodies were drenched in your sweat.
His hips were hitting yours so hard as he refused to slow down.
You've been spending the new month like this.
When your husband shoved his dick into your pussy after a month off.
He was firm in his rhythm and also made a little louder sounds.
You know it was because of his break in sex.
You dug your nails into his arms as you felt him press his body against yours, digging hard into your insides. Before he started moving again, watching your body rebound as he slammed into you.
Just the sight of your pussy expanding around him could make him come.
You weren't sure if it was Destroy dick December or Destroy pussy December. Because honestly, he's going to abuse your pussy.
The way your body is always forced to take it is scary. Because he's big and your walls greet him with crampedness.
He likes to see he can put it inside you and watch his heavy shaft go deeper and deeper into you. Until at the end, your tight pussy swallows him whole, letting him feel your stretched walls that surround him.
He was more sensitive after this month.
Therefore, there was only one possibility that would happen.
He'll come faster than ever.
But what happens after that will be something else.
Then comes the next day of December... And you'll be lying impaled on his cock as he smiles. His cock will make you moan in a mess with every move.
All because he wanted to take one challenge followed by another.
His fingers found your clit so suddenly that your back arched.
His hips pressed against yours as he kept the tip pressed against the center of the deepest part of you.
And he started fingering your clit.
Your whole pussy will cry after this month with him...
"Such a tight pussy... Fuck... I want to cum..." he moaned, closing one eye.
He grabbed your pink lump between two fingers and started moving his hips again. The other hand reached for your nipple, pinching the sensitive skin.
His moaning lips pressed against yours. And your moans poured into each other's mouths.
Yours were louder. Because its tip smacks your walls as if it's only aiming at those points. And you feel how sloppy his thrusts are.
He has not lost experience in tormenting your body. However, after such a break, it is more difficult for him to maintain his composure. Because his hips push themselves into you so his cock can be wrapped in your warmth.
He kissed your lips, catching your lip with his teeth as he growled as your pussy tightened on him, drenching his skin with your orgasm.
Sparks ran through his belly, making him shiver.
And without a moment's pause he exploded, letting his balls empty inside you.
Been waiting for this for so long...
He rocked his hips slightly back and forth until he suddenly slipped out.
And hitting your clitoris, he released smaller waves of cum on your skin, dousing you with thick liquid. The aftershocks continued in his body, and he kept pouring out onto your stomach.
As he reached for his shaft, he stroked himself to finish. But then it gushed onto your breasts.
You looked at the amount that was poured on you.
You had a similar amount.
"I've been waiting for this for so long... You don't know how hard I tried to stop myself from filling you with my cum earlier." He laughed breathlessly, and lay down on top of you.
His belly pressed against yours.
You felt his warm fluids move between your bodies.
You winced at the realization that you were both covered with his sperm now.
"If you're worried about not having sex like this, you don't have to. We still have plenty of time to do all of this." He whispered in your ear.
He started DDD...
Tomorrow twice...
On his birthday seven times...
On the last day of December, thirty-one times...
You'll fuck until your orgasms are dry.
And you'll both cry out of vulnerability. Mostly you when he wants to beat his challenge.
And you have to help him with that. Because he accepted that you would help him with his challenge not to fuck his hand.
"Ahh... I'm so looking forward to the next day when I can fuck that pussy twice. I love having sex with my lovely wife. Especially when I can destroy that tight pussy during Destroy Dick December."
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lastoneout · 10 months
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I was too high last night to formulate this into proper words but something plagiarists(and by extension AI techbros) don't get about people who make things out of a love for that thing is that they are, consciously or not, doing it because they enjoy the process itself. Yes, it is easier to have a machine make a mug or painting or essay for you, or to steal someone else's, but again, people who actually like making stuff don't want someone else to do it for us because you have fully removed the thing we enjoy: the process of making a thing.
Like sure it would be nice to have a finished Gundam model or a trainset, but people who build gunpla kits and trainsets don't WANT someone else to do it for them, they want to do it. The sculptor or painter doesn't want a machine to just give them finished works of art, they want to MAKE that art themselves. The home gardner can just buy fresh food at the store, the tailor or knitter can buy a finished shirt or sweater whenever they want, but they don't because the act of gardening and sewing and knitting itself is what they enjoy.
Plagarists and AI techbros don't get that because they do not enjoy these processes. They enjoy making money and having social clout, and so they are perfectly happy stealing and automating things so that they don't have to do an ounce of real work while still getting all of the benefits of having created something. It really is all about finding the fastest and easiest way to get someone to hand you money or elect you god-king of the internet.
And the reason these two groups have such a hard time understanding each other is because of that fundamental disconnect. People who create things can never understand someone just wanting to press a button or copy-paste their way to having art because we want to indulge in the joy of creation itself, and those plagarists and AI dudes can't understand artists because to them it's just a means to an end so ofc it's in their best interest to make it as easy as possible. They don't get why someone would do this, or anything, if not for the social capital and/or actual capital it brings. Ofc it's better to automate it or steal it from someone else, that means you can make money faster and spend your time enjoying actual meaningful things like being wealthy and looked up to or w/e.
Plus creators(for lack of a better word) know keenly what it's like to BE stolen from or at least know people it has happened to, and so we are generally anti-plagarism by default.
Anyway yeah thats why to anyone who creates the other group seems so soulless and empty. It's because they kinda are. Because they don't value art or artists or care about creating things, and they certainly don't have any ammount of respect for the people they're hurting, they just want money and for "lesser" people to bow down as they walk by, and they are perfectly fine stealing to get there. It's the same mentality you get from people who pressure you to monetize your hobbies, they only see skills as an opportunity to make money. And it's really fucking sad.
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0blobthefish0 · 3 months
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Elliptical Inclinations
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Toxic!Regina George x Plastic!fem reader 1, 831 words
a/n - inspired by @a-simple-imagine version of Regina George because it's honestly god sent and I can't stop reading it. And I apologise for the later than normal post 😅
Slowly, you began to realise that you were no longer asleep; aware that your eyes were closed, aware that you were not in your own bed, but a familiar one nonetheless. Warm vanilla fills your senses and a hollow pit begins to give way within your stomach and you open your eyes to find that the night wasn’t as dark as you had thought.
Moonlight swims through the room from the open window and you sit up in the large bed, the duvet folding at your waist, and glance to your side, Regina is sleeping peacefully. Her blonde hair fanned out over her silk pillow, the muscles in her face relaxed, and you can’t think of a sight more beautiful. 
But why do you feel so ill? 
An uneasy feeling falls over you. She’s going to kill you. It was a fact. There was no doubt about it. Loving her was going to kill you, realising this was not the issue, you just couldn’t leave. Of course you knew that you shouldn’t be doing this, it was the Regina George for fucks sake. Even more so after all this time - nothing had changed - and yet here you were, again. 
An addictive poison; Regina George was going to be the death of you.
You tear your eyes off of her, take in a deep breath and, for the first time ever, you slip out of her bed and pull on your clothes and silently leave her mansion of a house. There’s a lump in your throat as you pause outside her gate, a part of you is relieved, another worried about your journey home, a bigger part wants you to stay, but you turn on your heel anyway. Leaving her alone, just like she always did you. One small step at a time; that’s how you were going to get away.
Your step should have been smaller.
When morning came, Regina sat up in her bed, just like you had done hours earlier, staring at the empty pillow beside her. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her mouth slightly agape in silent confusion. A sickening feeling overwhelms her as her eyes search her room, your clothes are gone and hers are folded neatly by the door. She can’t think straight and anger washes away the confusion.
You left. You’re gone. You’re not where you’re supposed to be. Have you finally had enough? Has she finally broken you? Anger can only last so long, especially when it’s only covering the fact that she’s upset. Regina can’t fully comprehend it, can’t fully understand it. Did she care for you?
No.
She couldn’t. Didn’t. But still she found herself becoming short of breath. Once the tears started to fall, Regina couldn't help everything that came with it. She cares for you, she does, that’s what she tells herself after she’s exhausted herself into falling back asleep. Too tired to wipe the tears away, but no reason to, really, when her pillow is already soaked with them.
Monday arrives. Regina eyes you as you sit down at the table, a bright smile on your face as Karen talks your ear off. She doesn’t know why, but she expected you to be a bit more sad. Maybe she wanted you to be sad. It irritated her, really, that you were being so… normal. So indifferent. What were you playing at?
Your eyes meet hers and it’s like that evening never happened. You look the same as last week, nothing different in your eyes, in the way that you look at her. Not even a hint of guilt. Did she misjudge you? Completely read you wrong? Did she not mean anything to you at all? If anything, you didn’t mean anything to her. You didn’t. Really.
---
The week went on just as it had done last week and you were back in Regina’s bedroom. Karen was playing with your hair as you intently listened to Gretchen and Regina talk shit about anything and everything that had happened within the week.
Being here, in this room, you couldn’t take it. You were slowly being suffocated by her and, if you didn’t keep your senses sharp, you could fall back into her trap. As if she could hear your thoughts, blue eyes catch yours and you almost instantly look away.
“Where’s my phone?” You hear Karen ask as she moves her head side to side in an attempt to look for it.
“I’ve got it, babe,” you answer her and pass it behind you. You feel her press a light kiss to your head as a thank you.
“Gretch..,” she begins as the light of her phone illuminates her face, “don’t we have that thing?”
“What thi- oh. I am so sorry, Regina, but we gotta go like right now.” Right on cue you hear a car horn blare from outside. “Y/n/n, you want a lift home?” 
“Yeah, sure,” you smile thankfully and quickly grab your bag. You follow the two as they bid their goodbyes to Regina, you only give her a smile, and rush down the stairs. 
Uncharacteristically, Regina seems to be walking you all to the door. Her close proximity to you was causing the hair on your arms to stand on end and an uneasy feeling began to settle in your stomach. You ignored it, it was probably nothing, you were only anxious because of what you did happened last week. 
As you stepped off of the last stair you felt your left shoe slip off. Turning a blind eye to the fact that Regina had stepped on the back. It was probably an accident anyway. You slide your shoe with your foot a few paces ahead before realising that it would take more effort to put your shoe back on and quickly crouched to fix it. Gretchen and Karen moved out the front door, unaware of your misfortune. 
Regina stayed by your side. 
You give a small thanks to the blonde when you stand back up. She’s wordlessly staring at you, the intensity of it makes you hold back your step through the door.
“Y/n/n, you coming?” You hear Gretchen shout and you turn your head away from Regina and toward the open door. A hand instantly wraps around your upper arm and you look back to see begging, blue eyes.
“No, sorry, Gretch- I’ve changed my mind!” You hear the car horn sound twice in reply before revving off.
“Did the others go?” Ms. George calls out from the kitchen, her heels clacking against the floor, and Regina pulls her hand off of you before her mother can see.
Regina says nothing as she moves up the stairs and you send Ms. George a small smile.
“Y’know, Y/n, I’ve never met anyone like you.” The older woman starts from the kitchen door frame. “Regina’s never had a friend like you.” What? You only nod your head before following Regina’s path up the stairs.
Regina’s shut her door behind her and you’re forced to knock. No reply comes and you hesitantly push it open. She’s sitting on her bed, phone in her hand. 
“Lock it.” She demands, eyes not leaving the screen. Slowly, you turn the lock from behind you; the sound of it is almost deafening in the tightening silence.
She’s angry. Maybe.
It’s hard to tell sometimes. 
You watch her intently, you stay pressed against the back of her door, and you feel like prey. A few minutes pass, she’s still scrolling through her phone and you have not moved. You aren’t sure what to do. Why did you even stay? You promised yourself that you were done. Maybe this was closure, but you feel like you’re in danger.
Finally, Regina drops her phone and turns to you. The look on her face causes your heart to squeeze painfully.
“Tell me-” she begins, but her voice gets caught. She swallows, her throat bobbing. “Tell me you love me.” 
Your eyebrows raise in surprise, “What?” 
“Tell me that you love me, Y/n.” She almost begs and you search her watery eyes.
“I-”
“-Say it. Please.” And your stomach erupts with butterflies.
“I love you.”
Regina lets out a sad laugh, it’s something you’ve never heard before, and reverts her gaze from you. It makes you feel rejected.
“You don’t mean it,” she sounds so wounded, you find yourself moving over to her. To sit next to her, be close to her, comfort her.
“Of course I do,” you reply softly and she refuses to look at you.
“Why did you leave then?” Her question hits you in the chest and it brings tears to your eyes.
“I don’t know.”
“You’re lying,” she pauses, “you don’t love me.”
“I do,” you say earnestly, “I do love you.”
She turns to you, finally, and you suck in a shaky breath as you take in her appearance. She’s beautiful. Ethereal, even. Her salty tears prick at her blue eyes, making the colour pop, and you quickly move to wipe a falling tear from her cheek. Her own hand closes around yours before softly turning it around and pulling it down to press a gentle kiss to your palm. The action causes your heart to lurch. How could you not be in love with her?
“Show me,” Regina lightly commands in a whisper, her blue eyes boring into your own, “show me that you love me.”
And you do.
Your hand keeps hold of hers and you move your other to push through the back of her hair and draw her in closer. Until she’s so close you can feel her breath fanning across your face. You pause, staring at her now, waiting for her to close the gap. Her teeth show in the smile that she gives you and she kisses you with it. You meld into her as her other hand finds your thigh to give it a light squeeze.
This is how it’s meant to be, you feel at ease when you’re with her.
---
And you wake up, once again, in the middle of the night. Regina, asleep by your side. And she’s done it once again. You’ve fallen back into her trap, back into the vicious cycle that you can’t seem to break no matter how hard you try to distance yourself from her. You aren’t even sure if you want to leave. She always manages to get you to crawl back to her. She’s got her perfectly pink nails dug in your back, and you don’t mind that you’re bleeding. Regina loves you. She does. In that way that is so authentically Regina George and you can’t get enough of it.
And, so, you fall back into the pillow and face her sleeping form. A piece of blonde hair has fallen over her face and you reach out to softly tuck it behind her ear, where it belongs. 
Because you’re desperately and irrevocably in love with Regina George.
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