Maybe Station 19 was like an experimental cubist painting.
There were too many stories to be told and too many people trying to tell them, from too many perspectives, with too many styles…
Each viewer saw a different picture.
It was the show that tried to capture the zeitgeist and represent the under-represented. Also the show that often struggled. With the tones and textures. With representing w/o tokenizing. B/w laughing with and laughing at. B/w realism and romanticizing. B/w deliberate and arbitrary. B/w educating and entertaining. B/w what they consider profane and sacrosanct.
At times, it touched our hearts deeply. At times, it frustrated us to no end.
Not every story was given the respect, sensitivity and intricacy it was due.
One moment could lead to a profound understanding of an aspect of a lived life some of us had never known; while the next could be a moment that was beyond confounding - about an aspect of ourselves that made us feel slighted, diminished and even erased.
It had often been an exercise in empathy to find our common humanity at the intersectionality of stories. Yet, the scale of empathy often skewed too far in favor of some characters with the differing standards, narrative frames and plot armors. Ironically yet reasonably turning people off these very characters they wanted people to root for. A persistent dissonance and disconnect.
But it was also the show that didn’t shy away from the ugly, the raw, the uncomfortable and messy parts of our shared human experience. The tribulations of oppression. The perils of ambition. The tests of morality. The trials of friendship and love. That we would make mistakes, but we could also make amends. That we're not defined by our worst. That our best lives could still be in front of us despite the current struggles. That sometimes life sucks but having your people with you makes it more bearable.
I would think it an interesting journey for the diversity of people behind, on, and in front of the screen. The evolving stories, evolving characters, evolving storytellers, an evolving fandom - all amidst an evolving media landscape.
It was probably not an easy show to make. The show had a bewilderingly lack of support from abc or shondaland. Diversity seemed to be both good for promotion (when there was any) and the reason for the prejudice against it.
Just as it had not been an easy show to watch - so biased, inconsistent and self-contradictory. Like when they kept telling us about the family spirit and deep friendships yet somehow spent more time showing otherwise. Or when the writing of systemic sexism was somehow inherently sexist.
Personally, I don’t think characters belong to the writers alone. Besides the usual constraints, the characters were often adjusted back and forth to fit the plots. We’ve also learnt how network execs' dislikes, writers’ personal experiences were factored into the stories. I fully respect the writers’ artistic rights. But actors who embodied the characters for years have a unique understanding too. Viewers also have their personal takes about what were true to characters. It's ok to agree to disagree.
There had been sparks of brilliance, but often extinguished too soon. It has been confounding how the greys-verse did not capitalise on its vast potential, esp. S19. Even while both shows share a show-runner. Grey's anatomy could have lent its scale while Station 19 could have injected renewed energy back into its mothership. Both shows could have been better for it.
Although the characters have the foundation of distinct and interesting backstories, their development often did not fully utilise the narrative potential and the talents of the cast. I’m sure the crew was also competent and hardworking. But somehow some elements b/w n within the shows seemed to just cancel each other out instead of amplifying their impact. IMO 704 and 709 were a few exceptions.
But I'll always be glad S19 existed and we got a S7. I believe they had tried their best to wrap up and give closure to everyone invested in the show. I truly appreciated the hard work given the circumstances even when I personally didn't agree with some takes.
In the end, I really do want to remember it as the show with heart, the show that made us laugh and cry and the show that tried. The show that's unique - in both its merits and flaws. I’ll definitely miss the characters. One last time - 19!
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Klaus’ first scene is him leaving rehab with no intention of staying sober and his final scene alone is him going to AA to get help and final admitting that he’s an addict but they fucking cut the AA scene? A scene that concluded his arc perfectly? They really looked at that scene during editing and set “yeah let’s cut that”
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Just wanted to say that I'm really sorry the show pushed you to quit giffing for TUA, but I totally understand! I don't think I can bring myself to rewatch season 4, either. I'm going to pretend it never happened.
I really wanted to make more diego sets because David absolutely nailed the emotional moments and then the fight scene with the blob (idk what we're calling it lol)! ugh... for what it's worth, i tried. absolutely wanted to make more questionable hargreeves advice or background moments. it's just i just keep getting angrier the more time i spend with it.
I actually had planned on one more set, and I was determined to make it but rewatching s4 (a mistake) made me pull back and say i'm not enjoying this, why do it? the concept was reframing the scene where lila tells diego she needs a break, but rather than telling him that... she tells him you're an idiot, but i love you (or something like that!). they work through their issues! what a concept lol
we should all just pretend the tua ended after s3. because that season, while deeply flawed! was just 1000% better than what we got in s4. plus it ended on a moderately good ending.
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shifted gears like alright after the [lucifer the mysteries please] centered approach that found mostly Other Stuff, centering [blade gunnblade please], and already have found something new but in the "possibly inaccurate & probably irrelevant even if otherwise" vein as a review read through the wayback machine says: "perhaps none moreso than the gun toting android Blade Gunblade, perfectly embodied by Asia Kate Dillon. They even get an awesome heart-wrenching backstory." which is so far the singular mention that blade gunnblade is an android, however, reviewers can Just Say Things, so. i believe the blade gunnblade full backstory clip that's available is from pre 2015's run at the pit, & rather a previous run as serials at the flea (and the prop & setpiece differences if it was simply an alex seife understudy performance from 2015 would be: inexplicable) but i have to imagine that blade's peak tragic backstory ft. murdered wife & child would be very similar, & i guess it would be funny if they were just out & about living their ordinary life with a family like that while also an android, but. however i'll also give them that: mentioned a bit more often is that at least at some point kapow-i Becomes part android / referred to as a cyborg, thanks to the same character as in 2015 & prior's tragic backstory. i don't think this fun fact is like super constantly relevant or obvious, so i Could imagine something along the lines of blade getting the same treatment & it also not being particularly more relevant. or else the proximity of such concepts like "kapow-i's a cyborg, the serials run clip seems to refer to like 'we need this specific rando who is now blade to be injected with Ultimate Fighter elixir (& have their family killed. because) & people's whose bodies couldn't handle it are now kind of like funny little robots (cybernetically automated but with some personality)" & like blade we need you to be a fighting machine was thus sort of conflated lol. but maybe they're a cyborg like i think it happens a lot anyways
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Someone asked if I was adding more to "Buckshot"
...and then I accidentally posted it before I was done answering LOL. Anyway, here was the answer:
I have some ideas that I just haven't fleshed out yet. But I really like that AU and I want to return to it.
As for the Buckshot specific "chapter"...I do have some 'deleted scenes' that I just didn't feel like drawing (laziness) but hmm maybe i'll get the motivation to sketch them out eventually.
Some deleted scenes:
Scene 1.5
[Lucifer looks at Alastor's wounds as he's changing his bandages and clothes. Alastor's covered in severe scars exhibiting many different kinds of injuries.]
Lucifer: "So many scars...I wonder what he's been through..."
[Lucifer glances at Alastor's face, which somehow still has a faint, but visible smile.]
Lucifer (incredulous and annoyed): "Yet he always keeps that smile on his face..."
CUT TO FLASHBACK MONTAGE: Lucifer, Alastor, and Charlie playing in the park, eating dinner altogether, and singing backup for Charlie while Alastor plays the piano.
[Lucifer smiles softly and turns up the corners of Alastor's sleeping smile.]
Charlie: "I thought Al needed to sleep!" >:-0
[Lucifer draws his hands back suddenly, embarrassed.]
Lucifer: "Where did you--"
[Charlie climbs onto Alastor's rest bed. She haphazardly reaches for Alastor's face.]
Charlie: "My turn or it's not fair!" >:-D
Lucifer: "Charlie, no!"
---
Scene 4.5 (happens at the dinner party, in Lucifer's room, after Alastor bleeds through his shirt)
[Lucifer quickly changed into a red tuxedo. Alastor is lagging, due to his pain and need to clean his wound with a soft cloth.]
Lucifer: "Let me help you--"
Alastor: "I can handle this."
Lucifer: "Would you stop being so stubborn? You're drugged up, drunk, and moving slow as hell. You want to arouse more suspicion or do you wanna get this over with?"
[Alastor rolls his eyes and rudely tosses the cloth at Lucifer's face. Lucifer's quick reflexes catch the cloth effortlessly.]
Lucifer: "That's what I thought."
[Lucifer begins to clean Al's wound. Alastor has a pained expression. He winces and grabs Lucifer's wrist forcefully.]
Alastor: "You're being a brute."
[Alastor guides Lucifer's hand gently and drops his hand once Lucifer adapts. Lucifer helps bandage Alastor back up and get dressed. They're now both in new tuxedos, sans bow ties. Before Lucifer can grab his bowtie, Alastor snatches it.]
Alastor: "Allow me."
Lucifer: "I can tie my own bow tie."
Alastor: "Did you not say we were in a hurry? I think we both know it will go faster if I just tie it."
[Lucifer rolls his eyes but resigns. Alastor ties the bowtie swiftly and perfectly.]
Lucifer: "Ugh, how do you do this so easily? Aren't you high?"
Alastor: "As a kite."
[There is a beat and they both share a laugh. Suddenly they hear a distant voice yelling:]
Adam (distant): "So much for a quickie!"
Alastor: "We should go."
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I’m Bored and Anxious So I Slapped Together a List of Fan Fic Writer Asks
1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title]
2. Do you read/reread your own fics?
3. What's your favorite fic that you've written?
4. How many WIPs do you have right now?
5. What's a fic idea you've had that you will never write?
6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?
7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?
8. What project(s) are you currently working on?
9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written!
10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?
12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!
13. How much planning do you do before writing?
14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?
15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?
16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?
17. What's something you've learned about while doing research for a fic?
18. What's one of your favorite lines you've written in a fic?
19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.
20. What's a favorite title for a fic you've written?
21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?
22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?
23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?
24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s).
25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?
26. Is there something you've written that you would never want your family to see?
27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?
28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”?
29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)
30. Ask anything!
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