#theres no glass inside the car

[nitw]

why do you gotta tell me the same thing THRICE if it's still not out for delivery!!

[reidmania]

STILL | spencer reid

summary ; loosing based off still by niall horan. You and spencer broke up and when you see him at a bar a month later everything comes back.

warnings; this is long pure angst with a (?) happy (?) hopeful ending. imma say female reader because there so many little things that indicate that. hella miscommunication, arguing, drinking, jealous spencer, i think its a happy ending idk tbh, let me know if i missed anything

a/n ; this is 4k words. i did not intend that at all, i honestly got so insanely carried away. im so sorry.

You regretted everything, in this moment more than any other. You didn't know how you were possibly stupid enough to be dragged into going out tonight. When your coworkers approached you with the idea of going out for drinks after work as a way to celebrate your promotion, you shouldn't of let yourself get sucked in. It took some convincing till you eventually gave in, but you did -- give in.

Going home to change may not have been the best idea, since it gave you enough time to realise what you were doing and how much you really didn't want to go but you knew your coworkers wouldn't accept your cancelation. So instead you made yourself look presentable, good even.

Things had been difficult to say the least over the last month, while things at work were great, mentally everything was horribly. It had been a month since you and Spencer broke up. A month since the last time the two of you talked.

He had called a few times, but you could never bring yourself to answer despite how badly you wanted to talk to him, some night you would spend hours unable to sleep, staring at his contact, although you never went through will calling him, too scared he wouldn't answer.

Once dressed you left, calling an uber because you knew it was a bad idea to even take your car -- the whole point was to drink, and you would need to drink. As much as you loved your coworkers, you could only handle so much social interaction without liquor in your system.

Arriving, you noticed the group of your coworkers waiting for you outside. You pushed a smile to your lips as you approached them. You had many coworkers of course, but you had your bunch who you worked with closely, the ones here with you now.

Elise was your work best friend, you and her worked side by side everyday. She was the one who convinced you to come out. Ethan was another one who you worked with closely, but weren't nearly as close with. Frank was older, he was almost like the father of your job, and then there was Chelsea who was literally franks daughter, she was nice, easy to get along with.

"Theres they are!!" Elise said excitedly, you appreciated the way they all dressed up. You were met with a bundle of flowers, being held out by Ethan. "We got you these, as a congrats present" He smile.

You're entire face warmed as your chest did too. You were lucky to be surrounded by a group of people who cared as much as they did. "Aw, Thank you guys." You smiled widely as you took the flowers, not knowing what you were going to do with them inside the bar -- but you figured you'd worry about that later.

You followed them inside the bar, instantly finding a table. Everything sunk into place, everyone talking and chatty after ordering drinks and a round of shots, -- it was great.

But there was something missing.

You tried not to think about it as you swirled your straw around your glass, filled with alcohol. "You look bored" You turned your head to face Elise. You pushed a soft chuckle pass your lips, shaking your head.

"Im not bored" You denied, because you weren't. You were just waiting and hoping that the pit of empitiness in your stomach would disapear so you could enjoy yourself. She frowned, "Come on, Lets go get shots" She said, offering her hand which you took gracefully.

As you walked over to the table where your coworkers were sitting at to find out if they also wanted another round of shots or not, Elise grew sidetracked, helping Chelsea out with the zipper of her dress that was breaking.

"Ill come with you" Ethan opted, making you smile gratefully as you thanked him. The two of you wandered through the bar, through the crowd of people before you finally reached the bar.

You and ethan made small talk as you waited for the bartender. When he finally came, Ethan ordered. A round of tequila shots. The bartender nodded, it was busy -- so he was doing everything fast. "I am not drinking tequila!!" You gasped as you looked at Ethan.

"Yeah you are" He smiled back.

The smile stayed on your face, "Tequila makes me sad" You said honestly. He pouted dramatically, although you can tell it was sarcastic. "Well we cant have that" He sighed just as dramatically, "I promise if you do get sad, we will make sure to cheer you up"

You smiled but couldn't help but doubt his words -- you knew what you'd get sad about, and you weren't sure anything he did would cheer you up from a sadness like that. The one you could feel in your whole body, every movement.

"Important night?" The bartender asked, as he poured the shots. You went to deny it, not wanting the attention but Ethan spoke before you could. "Yep" He said popping the P, "Pretty girl here got a promotion" He said, squeezing your shoulder softly.

You forced out a chuckle as the bartender congratulated you. Pretty girl was the nickname your coworkers had given you -- it was teasing at first and it started from Elise, but it kind of just stuck.

You got your shots and walked back through the bar holding the tray carefully, as you returned to the table you immediantly got a bad feeling in your stomach, something was off, something was wrong. You could see it in Elise's face as she looked at you.

"What?" You chuckled, furrowing your eyebrows as you placed the tray down on the table. She looked almost guilty, as she shook her head, brushing it off. "Nothing" She said, reaching out for a shot.

Your concern and confusion only grew. "What?" You asked again, there was obviously something wrong. You noticed Chelsea looking in a certain direction, the same direction Elise's eyes kept drifting over to.

Your eyebrows furrowed deeper as you turned your head to look in the direction they were, despite Elise' protests. You almost wish you listened. You felt your entire heart sink.

Your breath got caught in your throat as you locked eyes with him -- Spencer Reid. He was already looking at you when you turned your head. You stomach dropped so far you swore you could feel in in your pinky toe.

You heard your name, but you could hardly pull your eyes away from him. He looked good. So good it made your head spin in a million different directions at once. Hearing your name again you finally pulled your eyes away from his, turning your head to face Elise who had concern lacing her features.

"Oh- Gosh- Are you okay?" She rushed.

You felt like your chest had been stepped on. You didn't say anything, instead reaching for the shot glass that remained, and downing it instantly. "I need to get drunk." You muttered.

"Whos that?" Ethan asked, he wasn't quite as caught up in your love life as Elise and Chelsea were. Chelsea scoffed. "Her ex, He is an ass" She said, Elise was quick to nod in agreement. Frank stood minding his own business, but you knew he was listening, he was always listening.

"He's not" You defened, because he wasn't. If there was an ass in the breakup, it was you. You weren't sure what sucked more.

Before Chelsea or Elise could say anything you spoke first, "Can we go get more drinks-- and move closer to the bar, I think ill be going there a lot" You muttered, grabbing the boquet of flowers you had been given.

Everyone was quick to agree, taking their stuff before finding an empty table closer to the bar.

You did exactly as you thought you would -- 4 drinks later, you were a lot mor tipsy but nothing seemed to take the pressure off your chest or cool the heat that Spencer eyes left on you everytime you looked over to see him already looking.

When everyone was engrossed in coversation you excused yourself to the bar, feeling the need for another drink or ten. When you literally asked for the most alcoholic drink possible, the bartender laughed but agreed.

"Congraulations" You swore your heart dropped at the voice. Your hands froze in place and you could feel the sweat building on the back of your neck. You turned your head, finally facing him.

Your eyes ran over his features -- his hair had grown out, it looked good. You wanted to tell him that but you couldn't. "H-How do you.." You wondered how he knew about your promotion, you were sure it hadn't been posted anywhere.

He rolled his eyes, nudging his head towards the table where your coworkers sat, you turned you head to look at them, noticing Ethan's and Elise's eyes on you and Spencer. "Your boyfriend isn't exactly quiet." He muttered, there was something spiteful about the way he spoke.

You whipped your head around to face Spencer, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before the realistion dawned on you -- He had heard Ethan tell the bartender about your promotion earlier. "He isn't my boyfriend--Why do you even care." You huffed.

Spencer scoffed quietly, "Yeah Im sure, The flowers and 'pretty girl' really prove that" His tone was laced with jealously. He was jealous. You shook your head as you pulled your eyes away from his face. "It's been a month" He muttered, quieter.

You frowned at the mention at how long it had been since the two of you broke up. "I am well aware of how long its been" You held back from calling him Spence, it was like muscle memory. "The flowers were from all of them" You defended, although there was no reason you needed to defend nor explain yourself to him. "And pretty girl- its a joke-- they all call me that." You muttered.

"I called you that."

His tone still held so much jealously but sounded so much sadder. It made your stomach clench on nothing but the alcohol you had consumed, you turned your head to face him before looking away again, unable to handle the way his expression pulled on your heartstrings.

"I know" You said just as quietly.

The bartender handed you your drink with an apology of how long it took -- you hadn't even noticed. Drink now in your hands yet you couldn't find it in yourself to move. You could smell Spencer's cologne and it was consuming your senses and making your mind fog.

Spencer ordered his own drink after the bartender asked, before he turned to look at you again. "I called." He said.

You wanted to cry-- you wanted to sink into the pit in your stomach and stay there forever. You felt yourself grow dizzy -- he made you dizzy. "I know" You said quietly, scared if you spoke any louder your voice would give out on you. it broke your heart to be standing here next to him, when he had no idea you loved him, when you had no idea if he ever loved you-- let alone if he still did.

He didn't say anything, you assumed it was because he didn't know what to say. He knew you were actively ignoring his calls-- What was there to say to that.

Spencer got handed his drink, he muttered a quiet thanks, but made no movement to leave his place next to you, you didn't either. Neither of you said anything. You felt as if your feet were glued in place -- although you weren't sure if you wanted to move either. It had been a month since you had seen him, and as much as it gutted you to think about, you didn't want to leave yet just incase this really was the last time.

"He isn't my boyfriend, he- he isn't anything more than a friend." You said again, although you didn't look at him, keeping your head down as you sipped your drink through your straw. You didn't need to push so hard for him to understand -- but the last thing you wanted was for Spencer to think you had moved on that quick, it almost offended you that he genuinely believed you did.

He opened his mouth to reply, but felt a hand on his back, cutting him off. He looked behind him to see Derek. "What's taking so long, Reid" He asked, a teasing smile on his face. You looked behind you at the sound of his voice, meeting his eyes his smile fell slightly as he realised what was taking Spencer so long.

"Hi derek" You pushed a smile to his lips - of course Spencer was here with his team, you should've realised that. They probably just got back from a case, which explained Spencer's business attire, but he wore that more often then not anyways.

"Hey!! How are you doing!" He smiled back, opening his arms to hug you gently. It was friendly a simple. You were close with a lot of Spencer's friends and team, being his plus one to everything for months. Penelope had reached out after you and Spencer broke up, but just like with Spencer you couldn't bring yourself to reply.

"Im okay, how are you?" You asked. You could feel Spencer's eyes on your face and it left a burning sensation where his eyes laid as you pulled away from Derek's hug. "Im good! We've missed you around shortcake" It was a nickname, because of a strawberry shortcake shirt you had worn one time when out with Spencer.

You just smiled in response. You missed them too, a lot. They were your friends, and you hated how you lost that and Spencer all at once, but they were his friends first. "I'll leave you guys be." You muttered, forcing a smile to your lips as you avoided Spencer's gaze, pushing off the bar.

Spencer said your name and it made your head spin, it felt so natural falling from his lips, like it belonged there. If you had to pick only one person to say your name for the rest of your life, it would be Spencer.

You kept walking none the less, holding your drink in your hand as you approached the table. You put it down gently as Chelsea and Elise were instantly at your side, asking what happened or if you were okay.

"I think Im going to go home" You muttered as you felt the all familiar tingle in the bridge of your nose, matching the lump in your throat and burn in the back of your eyes. It was too much.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Frank asked, the fatherily instincts coming into play when he noticed the look on your face -- there was no convincing you to stay. You just shook your head, "Im okay, Thank you" You muttered, as you began grabbing your stuff.

"I'll walk you out" Ethan offered, but you were quick to shake your head. You didn't need to look to know Spencer's eyes were on you from across the bar, the last thing you wanted was to only deepen his concern by leaving with Ethan. "I really just want to be alone." You said, pushing a half hearted smile to your lips, he frowned but nodded.

You said your goodbyes before pushing through the people in the bar towards the door. Once outside, it dawned on you how hot you were, the cold air giving your flushed cheeks a cooling sensation. You dragged your hand over your face as you tried to process what had just happened without bursting into tears.

You opened the uber app on your phone, wanting to get home to wallow in every emotion you had been pushing down for the last month. You should've known tonight was going to end badly.

"Theres been over 3,900 cases of sexual assult or physical violence from ubers"

You turned your head to see Spencer standing at the door to the bar, not far from you but not close. The street wasn't busy, it was dark and only lit by the streetlights.

"Thats less than one percent" You muttered, pulling your gaze away from him. "Who said I was getting an uber?" You asked, despite the fact that you were, it baffled you how he seemed to know everything all the time.

"You're alone, I cant see your car anywhere and the app is open on your phone" He said as if it was nothing. He was a profiler for godsake, of course he picked up on the tiniest things.

You sighed, closing your phone you placed it in your bag, "So what?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest - now that the heat had somewhat worn off the cold air was leaving goosebumps over your arms.

"So, let me drive you home." He said.

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at him, shaking your head. "No. Its fine. I think I can handle less than one percent" You muttered, turning away from him again when the heat began rising to your cheeks again under his gaze.

You could hardly handle standing a foot away from him, you doubted you would be able to last a ten minute drive back to your house in the car next to him, you were sure the tension would suffocate you within seconds.

"Why do you do that" He asked taking a step closer to you. You were already resting with your back against the wall, there was no where for you to back away to even if you wanted to. You furrowed your eyebrows as you met his eyes, he looked sad.

"Do what?" You asked as your voice hitched, the pit in your stomach only deepening the more you looked at him, the closer he got the tighter your chest grew, the more he spoke the more your cheeks heated.

He sighed, "Push me away!" He raised his voice slightly, not in a way of anger but pure frustration. He was so frustrated.

"I don- We broke up Spencer" You reminded.

He rolled his eyes, "I know that. Trust me I know that." He muttered under his breath as he got closer to you. "You did it our entire relationship, pushed me away, held back, and then you broke up with me, why do you do that?" He said, brows furrowed as he genuinely tried to understand.

"You know why we broke up" You muttered quietly.

He threw his arms up in distress. "No- I really don't-" He said, before dragging his hand through his hair, only making it messy. You frowned, shaking your head as you reminded him. "We were both busy -- we hardly saw each other, our heads were in different places" your voice raised to the same level as his

"My head was with you!" He shook his head, "My head was always with you!" He sighed, he wasn't shouting, not really, but it was loud enough to match your level.

Your lips parted but you didn't have anything to say. Your head was spinning at the intensity of the coversation, at him -- so close, his cologne and after shave making your stomach feel sickly.

"I thought-" You ran your hand over your face as tears brimmed your eyes.

"You thought, you didn't ask me-- you just- broke up with me" He was shouting now. You genuinely thought your heart had fallen out of your chest. "You pushed me away, and then left like it meant nothing, like it all meant nothing." His voice was breaking with every word as his voice rasied

"It didn't- i didn't think it meant nothing" You were shouting too, and tears ran down your face -- you were unable to help it, each drop hotter and heavier than the last.

"Just be honest, I just- I just need you to be honest, please" He was on the verge of tears himself, and you hated it. You hated the way his voice was breaking, the way his hand was grabbing his shirt, pressing against his chest as if this conversation was bringing him physical pain-- like it was to you.

"You want me to be honest?" You asked, you were now the one stepping closer to him, you were the one shouting -- not out of anger, but you couldn't better express the way this conversation was all consuming every part of your body, your mind, your stomach, your chest.

"I love you Spencer" Your voice cracked as the words came out, "I love you so much, it hurts. It physically hurts when you are gone, when I was spending everyday worrying you weren't going to come home, I love you so much that I thought me worrying about you was unfair because you love what you do, and I was constantly in the way of that. I love you so much that i thought if i broke up with you, you'd be happier -- I thought the how much I loved you would stop hurting." you were practiclly sobbing, you would have been embarassed if you mind was able to focus on anything other than the boy in front of you.

"It didn't, its actually gotten worse because everyday I wake up and your not there, and I still worry about you just as much -- more, i worry about you more. Everyday I wake up and im completely heartbroken. God everyday I wake up and Im still inlove with you, " You continued on your tangent, "I love you so much Spencer"

You didn't even have time to breath before you felt cold hands on either side of your face and the feeling of his lips on yours, you could taste the alcohol on his lips. It was familiar and safe and warm. Your hands found their way to his face, pulling him in closer to you. The kiss was messy and passionate and everything you had missed so much, it was the sort of kiss that made every thought in your brain disapear, it made your knees feel weak and your toes curl in your way to uncomfortable shoes.

You tried to pull away but his lips chased yours, bring you back into him and you didn't make any movement, only kissing him back until you ran out of air, feeling lightheaded. You stepped out of his grasp as you tried to regain balance.

"Ill teach, its not an issue i've wanted to teach, god ill stop working all together if it means you'll come back" He said out of breath, eyes never leaving yours. You opened your mouth but he cut you off. "I love you, I've loved you since the day that I met you." he was huffing out words as he stepped back closer to you, invading your space and you couldn't complain.

"I don't- I don't want you to have to do that, you love working." you said breathlessly, shaking your head. You didn't want your relationship to mean him stop doing what he loved.

"I want you" He said, voice cracking. "I love my job but I love you." He said it like he couldn't get enough of finally saying it. "I'll work it out so you can come everytime we have a case, please I love you" He was begging.

"What does this mean Spence" You said, heart beating out of your chest. He just shook his head. "Who cares! I love you, You love me. I will do anything, just.. stay - let me stay." He said, grabbing your hand.

"I love you" You repeated.

"I love you" He said back.

"Where do we go from here?" You ask, looking up at him with squinted eyes, you were sure your makeup was a mess, and you looked horrible but there was so much love and hope in Spencer's eyes you couldn't find it in yourself to care.

"Let me drive you home." He said. You knew that meant it was the beggining. You knew he meant that he didn't know but he wanted to try. He was begging and there was no way you were going to let him go again.

"Okay."

[rafeandonlyrafe]

talk to me

words: 800

warnings: addiction, breaking sobriety, drinking/doing drugs, established relationship

taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450

you can tell from the moment you pick up the phone that something is wrong. rafe’s breathing is so loud that it’s being picked up, coming through your phone speaker.

“rafe, baby?” you ask, but all you here is his panting in response.

“rafe, talk to me. what’s wrong?”

“i’m sorry.” rafes voice is gruff, it sounds like he’s been screaming. 

“sorry? sorry for what rafe? tell me whats wrong.” you plead, feeling tears form in your eyes. you hate being away from rafe, you know that he hates it even more than you, especially now that he’s sober. he used to just get drunk or high the entire time until you were back, but you hated coming back to a strung out rafe, and you knew it wasn’t healthy.

“i’ve been drinking.” rafe says, and you hear the slight slur in his words.

“rafe-” you stand up, already beginning to pack. you don’t need to hear anything else. you know drinking isn’t the worst thing, but for rafe, the drinking will only ever lead to drugs, and he’s been clean for so long “i’m coming home baby. where are you?”

“our house.” he says, and you hear him fumbling with something in the background, and then a crash. it sounds like glass breaking.

“rafey baby, can you go lay down in bed, yeah?” you ask, grabbing your purse and suitcase. you’d text your girlfriends from the car on the way back home to rafe. you thought that he was good enough for you to go on a spa weekend away with the girls. you made sure it was one that was less than an hour away that way you could get home quickly.

“i’m gonna go sit outside.” “okay, i’m heading to the car right now.” you were supposed to head home in the morning anyways, so you have no issue leaving the night before, knowing your girlfriends won’t mind.

“talk to me.” you say as you get in your car, starting it up. “talk to me, rafey.” “i went to the store. i bought whiskey. i fucked up baby, i know that.” “it’s okay, honey.” you swing your car onto the highway, glad that theres no cars so you can speed, praying no cops are sitting hidden.

“and now i’m making you come home because i can’t fucking do it. god, i’m the worst boyfriend.” “not at all, rafey. you make me feel so loved. you take care of me. that’s what you’re meant to do as my boyfriend and that’s what i’m doing for you as your girlfriend. i’m taking care of you.” “i’m so tired.” rafe says. “i just want to do a bump.” “rafe, keep talking.” you say, tears blurring your vision. “i’m coming home to you right now, stay strong for me okay.”

you get rafe to continue talking as you drive home, going at least 20 miles over the speed limit the entire way. you haphazardly park when you get back home, running through the house to find rafe on the balcony. 

“i’m home.” you kneel down in front of him, heart breaking at how spaced out he looks. “i’m home, rafe.” rafe lets out a choked sob, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pitching forward. you shush him gently as he cries, rubbing your hand up and down his back.

“lets go to bed, yeah?” you ask after a moment.

“i hate myself.” rafe mumbles, but accepts your help standing up. you guide him inside, not even worried about shutting the doors behind you, just focused on getting him upstairs and in bed.

“you have to break up with me.” rafe says, feet slowly shuffling down the hallway. “im going to ruin your life-” you ignore his words, blocking out whatever he was saying as you steer him into your bedroom.

“rafe, stop please.” you cut him off from continuing to speak. “i’m not going anywhere. we can talk in the morning when you have a clearer head, okay?”

rafe nods, leaning forward and pressing his lips to your forehead. “i’m so glad you’re home.” “me too.” you press your face into his chest before pulling away to tug the blankets down, watching as rafe flops down, his head immediately lolling to the side. you sit down on the bed, stroking over his hair as you watch for his breathing to change, only standing up when you are sure that he is asleep.

you gather everything on your bedside table that rafe will need in the morning, finishing it off with a tall glass of water. you’ve learned from his previous binges what he needs, you’re just relieved all he did this time was drink.

you finally get to climb into bed, sighing deeply as your head hits the pillow. you move closer to rafe until your body is pressed up against his.

rafe mumbles something you can’t make out and turns, resting his head against your chest. you smile and wrap your arms around him, holding him close, knowing this is what he needs at this moment.

“i love you.” rafe whispers.

“i love you too.” you press a kiss to the top of his head. “i love you and i’m gonna be here for you no matter what, don’t you forget that.”

[comet-forgot-you]

Hii girlie, I wanted to thank you for feeding us every day🙏🙏 your fics are so good and I really appreciate that you make effort to post everyday(but don't overwork yourself!). I'd also like to ask if you could write anything for Sam Carpenter?? Thank you bb, ur awesome!!💖💖

hurry

sam carpenter x reader

summary: the drummer of your brother's band is hot.

warnings: 18+ pls, smut, thigh grinding, mentions of previous events, fingering, marking, biting (just like once), almost caught but def not, i think thats all lmk if theres more. 

a/n: HEY GUYS DID U MISS ME??? enjoy this one in a million occasion of me writing for someone other than a mikey madison character😱😱 this is my first time writing for sam dont bully me im just a girl. do not repost for any reason.

your brother and his stupid band. the same one that gathered in the garage every saturday and played the same music every time. you usually never minded the music, but you were frustrated. the house was hot, the air conditioner was being worked on and the heat was really starting to get to you.

you were laid on the couch in the living room, stripped down to your sportsbra and shorts hours ago, trying your best to cool yourself down. the glass doors leading to your backyard were wide open, a small breeze flowing in. you didn't understand how they did it. how they practiced in the small, hot garage. it was much hotter in there than it was in the house, opening the garage door hardly helped cool it down.

the sound of the music stopped and a few minutes passed before the door leading to the garage opens and your brother walks out. you sit up slightly, looking over at him as he grabs his keys.

"where you goin'?" you ask, eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"to get a fan, it's hot as fuck in that garage," you brother mumbles, walking back to the garage. "why, need somethin'?" you shake your head, falling back onto the couch. the door closes and you let out a sigh of relief at the quiet house.

the sound of drums interrupt the silence and you can’t help the giddy feeling that washes over you. sam was still here, of course she was. you pull yourself off of the couch and walked towards the garage, eyes landing on her the second you opened the door.

fuck.

she was hot, you knew it, she knew it, but right now? with the way sweat coated her body, her arms on display due to the sleeveless shirt she wore? it forced a wave of heat to pulse through you. her muscles flexed with every beat of the drum, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. she looks up at you, slowly coming to a stop. she pries a headphone out, nodding up at you. "hey," she says loudly. she cringes at the volume of her voice, “sorry, what’s up?”

a smile tugs at your lips. "hey, sam. didn't want to go with my brother?" you ask, stepping into the garage. sam shakes her head, grabbing the almost empty bottle of water sat next to the bass drum.

"nah, already hot as it is, didn't want to sit shoulder to shoulder in his small ass car with all of em'." she pulls her headphone case out, taking her other headphone out before stuffing it back into her pocket. you could feels sam’s eyes on you as you move to stand next to her, head tilting slightly as you look over the drums.

"want me to teach you how to play?" she asks. you down at her, biting the inside of your lip.

"sure," you mumble, taking the sticks she offered you. you stood awkwardly next to her, waiting for her to get up, but her hands find their way around your hips, pulling you to sit down on her lap. she holds onto the backs of your hands, moving them to beat against the drums softly.

her breath is hot against your neck as she whispers instructions. you try to listen, you really do, but the way her hands hold onto you, the way you can feel her chest flush against your back, it was so fucking distracting.

sam shows you how to play a small piece before she lets go of your hands completely. you miss it almost immediately. she bounces her leg slightly in an attempt to get you to repeat the motions she had just showed you, but the feeling of her thigh pressing into your clothed cunt has you surpressing a whine. you shakily reach out to beat against the drums, repeating what sam had just showed you.

"yeah, just like that," she mumbles. she holds onto your hips, the feeling driving you insane. her leg bounces against your cunt so nicely with every beat against the bass drum. you're overwhelmed, the feeling of her pressed against you, the way she unknowingly pressed into your cunt so perfectly, it was all so much and so so fucking good.

"fuck," you let out a quiet whine as sam's leg grinds against your cunt again. you lean back against the girl, drum sticks gripped tightly in your hands, your head resting on her shoulder. sam's arms move to wrap around your waist, a fake look of worry plastered on her face.

"you okay?" she asks.

you roll your hips against her thigh. "don't act innocent, sammy," you whine. sam traces her fingers across the exposed skin of your stomach. “you know what you’re doin’," you mumble. sam smiles, finger dipping into your waistband before pulling it back to let it smack against your skin. you arch into her touch, drumsticks falling to the ground.

“can’t help it, you look so pretty.” you pry her hands from around your waist before turning in her lap. a small smile paints her lips as she looks up at you, eyes blown with lust. her hands find their place on your hips again, yours holding her shoulders for support.

seconds pass before your lips are pressed against each other, sam guiding your hips to grind down on her thigh. quiet moans fall from your lips and sam’s quick to take advantage, pushing her tongue into your mouth. your hands tangle into her hair, tugging lightly to separate the two of you.

“need y’so bad, sam,” you mumble against the skin of her jaw. sam’s grip on your hips tightens ever so slightly when you suck a deep mark in her neck.

“your brothers gonna see that,” she mumbles in, pushing her hand into your shorts. “he probably saw the last ones, too,” you groan, memories of sam’s head buried between your thighs flashing through your head.

“shut up,” you whine, pulling away from her ever so slightly. “living room, need you so bad, please?” sam lets out a quiet groan, nodding her head. you smile, taking her hand into yours as you pull her into the cooler house.

you can barely make it to the couch, sam’s hands wandering all over your body. you push the brunette onto the couch, straddling her lap almost immediately. sam’s lips trails up and down your neck, pausing every once in a while to suck marks into your skin. she pushes a hand into your shorts and you quick to grind down against it, needy moans falling from your lips.

sam rubs your clothed clit, “just fuck me already, sammy, need it.” sam pulls your underwear to the side, swiping a finger through your soaked folds.

“fuck,” she groans. her hand holding your hip moving to wrap around your waist. “so wet, all for me?” you nod frantically, needy moans falling from your lips when sam prods your entrance with her fingers.

“yeah, all for you, promise. js’,” you pause for a moment, bucking your hips into her hand, “please.”

sam sinks two fingers into your cunt, curling them slowly, before pulling out completely, spreading your wetness to your clit. you let out quiet whimpers at the stimulation, her fingers gently teasing your pulsing clit. you call her name in a quiet whisper. its a plead you can’t help but let out. her actions send waves of heat surging throughout your body.

“hmm?” she hums against the skin of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer to her as her fingers sink back into your cunt. she’s gentle despite the aggression she took out on her drums mere minutes before.

she thrusts her fingers into you rhythmically, curling them to hit the spot that has you biting your lip to suppress the noises that threaten to slip out. sam’s free hand moves to cradle your haw, thumb tugging at your lip. she tsks, “none of that, you wanted me, let me hear you.” the demanding tone in her voice draws a whine from you. sam’s thumb grazes your clit and your hips jerk at the feeling.

its not long before you’re teetering on the edge of your orgasm, sam’s thumb rubbing tight circles around your clit, finger’s pumping in and out of your dripping cunt so deliciously. the sound of your brother’s car has you whining against her neck, “better hurry up before they come in. wouldn’t want them seein’, hmm?” you let out a loud moan, biting her shoulder in an attempt to keep yourself quiet. sam lets out a hiss at the feeling. “unless thats what you wanted. wanted em’ to see you all slutted out for me.”

“no! no, please, fuck, no don’t want em’,” your sentence is cut off when sam’s fingers curl into you.

“come on then, cum for me,” she mumbles. your orgasm hits you seconds later, loud moans muffled in her neck. same pulls out of you, bring her fingers up to her mouth and licking them clean. the motion has you stifling a moan that threatens to escape. the sound of the large garage door opening has you pushing yourself off of sam’s lap, still struggling to catch your breath.

“go,” you mumble, cheeks warm from your previous activities. sam doesn’t move, her lips twitched up into a teasing smirk.

“why? don’t want em’ to see how much of a slut you are for me?” you roll your eyes, heat building in your core.

“shut up, sam. go.” sam smiles, pushing herself off of the couch.

“same time next week?” she jokes, walking back to the garage. you roll your eyes at her, a soft smile etching its way onto your lips.

“idiot,” you mumble beneath your breath.

reblogs much appreciated :D

[goodnessgraves]

Old farmhouse I love.

Part 1!

Warnings: DBF!Graves, pining, suggestive language, sexy graves, i am drunk and refuse to proofread, age gap, i write funny jokes into these, somebody match my freak 😔

18+ MDNI

You drive up onto the old ranch you love more than life itself, having grown up there with nobody but your Ma and Pa, but as you pull into your old parking spot, a white Ford F-360, sits there. Okay, whatever. You park on the right of it.

It looks extremely out of place on the old ranch, but maybe your old man got a new truck? (You highly doubt it. That stubborn bastard would drive his truck until it exploded with him inside.)

You hop out of your old yellow Volkswagen Beetle and step onto the dirt, taking in the smell. Something is a little off.

Walking to the front door you knock three times before your dad greets you with a big hug and you mom joins in. The familiar comfort reminding you of how you used to come home from school Nostalgia flooding your senses, but it’s different. There’s a spectator.

Phillip Graves. The gorgeous bastard he is. Too beautiful to be a hardened soldier, his eyes are too sweet and mesmerizing, his shirt slightly unbuttoned and his blue jeans held up with a belt, a ridiculous buckle on it, is boots are weathered- oh shit. You were staring.

Eventually he chuckles, looking you dead in your eyes. Theres that fucking smirk again, the things you wouldn’t do to slap it off his stupid, smug, sexy, defined face.

“You look… different.” You say, justifying your staring, but it just makes his smirk turn into a smile. Son of a bitch.

“It’s been what? 5 years? It’s been too long, darlin’.” He pulls you into a welcoming hug, he smells like leather and cigarettes, you could drool. At this point, your brain is melted. All it takes is a hot southern man who smells good saying something he would say to literally anyone else to get you wet? You are doomed.

After a while of chatting amongst him and your parents, he helps you bring your stuff in from you car. There’s not much, just a few suitcases and a few bags. He places them neatly on the bed and shoots you that smile that makes you weak in the knees before leaving and running down the stairs to go bother your father in the kitchen.

God damn it. Now you’re stuck between a rock and a wet place. Yeah, he’s your dad’s best friend, but also, you’re 25, you’re a grown woman, plus he’s only in his 30’s. (Probably)

The dinner bell rings and your Ma calls you to wash your hands and eat your dinner. You happily oblige, nearly tumbling down the stairs before sitting down and gobbling up your food.

His eyes never left you.

You sipped your wine? Eyes on you.

Took a bite of the best Brisket you’ve ever had in your life? Watching.

He was watching, and you loved every second of it.

After dinner, you help clean up and go out to the porch, hopping up on the old wooden chair swing, nuzzling into it with your glass of wine. After about 10 minutes, Phillip steps out into the porch, sitting next to you.

He’s spread out and grabs a cigarette and lighter out from his jeans pockets, lighting it up.

This felt… right.

[marksbear]

Spencer (or Hotch) x male reader where the reader is suspected for the murder of several women, and when the BAU show up to his house he's wearing shorts and a shirt that says "I ❤️ Submissive Men" ?? — ⚰️

I hope you enjoy it! This was pretty funny to write. and plus I do ❤ submissive men.

SPENCER REID X SUSPECT MALE READER

Y/n was brushing his teeth getting ready to start his day when he heard multiple fast footsteps and sounded like muffled shouting.

"What the hell?" Y/n says before quickly hurrying up and walks out the bathroom hella confused.

"1 2 3!" A voice shouts from outside.

Out of nowhere Y/n's front door gets kicked open multiple FBI/cops point their guns at Y/n shouting at him to put his hands in the air and get on the ground. "Hey! What the hell is going on -" Before Y/n could finish his questions he's tackled from behind onto the ground.

The agent on top of him roughly pins him to the ground hand cuffing him. Some agents begin to tell Y/n his rights as he gets picked up and shoved around until he's outside.

From the distance Y/n looks at his boyfriend team some giving him eyes of disappointment and others giving him "It's okay" look.

Theres a riot of men and women with signs shouting at Y/n throwing things at him. Some even shouted "give him a death penalty" The cops couldn't make it to the cars causing some reporters and news cameramen try to interview Y/n. "Y/n L/n! Is it true that you killed those women!?!" "Why did you kill those women?! And is it true because you did it for fun?" "Y/n! Y/n! Is it true-" Before the woman could ask Y/n any more questions Y/n finally broke. "Can you just shut up! And get out of my way!" After Y/n shouted that the crowd became silent.

"Oh my god." Y/n thinks to himself after realizing what he said. And of course he had to say that to a woman reporter. The cops push past the crowd finally shoving Y/n into the car.

Y/n looks outside the window watching people trying to open the door and people hitting on the glass.

TIMESKIP

Y/n was sitting in the interrogation room tapping his foot impatiently waiting. Y/n already all the tricks. Making the room cold, trying to give him water, using reverse physiology.

"You sure you don't want this water?" A cop asks trying to hand him water. "Look. My boyfriend is a cop, I know all the tricks..." Y/n says rolling his eyes. The cop mumbles something under his breath before walking out letting Hotch and Derek come inside.

"Thank god you two are here. Please don't tell me that the whole world is against me and think I killed those women." Y/n sighs holding his face in his hands.

"Y/n. I'm sorry but all fingers point to you. One of the women escaped before she could have been the eighth. When she described the unsub and drew him it exactly looked like you. They even found some of your DNA act the crime scene." Hotch says sitting down in the chair.

"I'm sorry Y/n, but you have all odds against you now." Derek chips in. Derek looks Y/n up and down trying to read his body language but a stiff laugh escapes his lips.

"I ❤ submissive men? Really Y/n." Derek says looking at Y/n in his shorts and shirt.

"Oh my god... I forgot I was wearing this. The one time I could become famous or something I'm wearing this." Y/n jokes before clearing his throat. "But I do have a alibi." Aaron and Derek side eye each other before nodding their heads at Y/n so he can continue.

"I was with my little step-sister for two weeks for a camping trip with her family. In fact I had just come back hours ago." "Alright... We'll be back to see if you're telling the truth or not." Aaron says while leaving with Derek.

Y/n is alone in the silent room for a while until he hears the door open. "Spencer? Oh thank god baby you're here." Y/n says smiling at him. "I would hug you, but they still got me cuffed-- but you can still kiss me." Y/n says with a smirk.

Spencer rolls his eyes before walking around the table giving Y/n a light kiss on the lips. "What are you wearing?" Spencer asks in disbelief looking at Y/n up and down. "Sorry. If I knew I was getting arrested, I would have looked better." Y/n jokes causing Spencer to smile sweetly at him.

"I ❤ submissive men." Spencer reads out loud. "Mhm I do love submissive men. Especially the one i'm dating~" Y/n teases with a wink.

"The unsub motives were because he was rejected by the women. So it doesn't make sense for you to be here. Especially since you're taken and dating a man. But- somehow the unsub got some of your DNA and most likely threatened the free woman to say its you and---" Before Spencer could get done rambling the door opens.

"Y/n. Your alibi matches up with your story. You're proven innocent and proven that you were set up. But you're not done here just yet." A random agent most likely the Sheriff tells Y/n taking the handcuffs off of him.

"Y/n. What happened after you got home." Derek asks earning a groan from the male in question. "Nothing. But I did bump into some weirdo in the airport." Y/n answers.

Y/n begins to describe what happened with the guy and everything and after being held in the station for a few more hours he was finally released to go back home.

"Finally I can go back home." Y/n breathes out with a sigh before hugging Spencer and giving him a kiss bye. "Bye spence~ When you find this guy call me okay?" "Okay Y/n bye." Spencer kisses him back and walks with him until he's out of the building.

Y/n walks inside his house going into his room and moves the secret panting clicking on a button letting the wall secret door open.

Y/n walks down the stairs looking at his new victim. The woman is so skinny that her bones show as well bruises all over her body. She is on the floor too weak to even sit up. But she knows that her captive is with her.

"I almost got caught. I was inches away from being exposed. Thank god I've been doing this for too long to be caught. Your silly friend tried, but failed. I think you're gonna be my last victim. Lucky number eight."

"Actually- your friend will. After I killed her i'll just keep you alive down here forever and ever. You'll be fed like once a month and you'll drink water every Friday. How does that sound? Oh I forgot I cut your tongue off a long time ago."

THE END

[piratefishmama]

just me on my demodragons bullshit again, lets just. spin reality for a second. and assume the duffers can open a last season with anything but a slow paced crawl to a massive finale.

We open on a dark street, the highstreet perhaps close to ground zero, the road lined with empty stores, glass windows shattered, dark vines crawling up the walls, theres sirens in the background, far off but close enough to tell you they're coming from somewhere in town, the lights flicker.

Suddenly, from a side street, skids Steve Harrington's BMW, going as fast as that car can manage around a tight bend.

Inside the car is a small hoard of children and one very stressed driver, all yelling, the only legible thing anyone can make out is Steve Harrngton screaming "I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN" as he rights the car, hurtling them down that long stretch.

We're in the car now, and the kids are yelling, "GO FASTER" outside Mike's window, a demodog appears out of the dark, snapping at the window before it disappears into the darkness again.

Will from the middle, he's kneeling on the seats, eyes on the back window "IT'S COMING BACK AROUND!!" there's an otherworldly screech coming from outside, another demodog takes a snap at Dustin's window to the right side before vanishing into the dark like the other. We can't see the outside of the car, just the inside, the inside containing, Dustin, Mike, Will, and Steve.

"FUCK, FUCK, HOLD ON TIGHT!!" He swerves to the right, we see outside of Dustins window a set of talons filling the space the car was in moments before, wing beats filling what little void of sound there is between screaming.

The car swerves left, talons again, this time fill the view outside of Mikes window "IT'S RIGHT ON TOP OF US" someone yells.

the talons tear into the roof of the BMW, all the kids scream.

Title sequence.

[spacecatchako]

cringey cringe drabble i wrote cw for breeding, marking, car sex, tenya x gen! reader

“darling… don’t feel like you have to”

i playfully pout, resting my chin on his chest, between his pecs.

“but i want to. do you not want me to?” i ask in earnest

a blush lights up on his cheeks

“i-i wouldn’t mind it darling. i just don’t want you to feel like you have to, per say.” he wont meet my gaze, the flustered mess that he is

i hum and lean up to give him a peck on the lips, and he leans in, reciprocating fully

“tenny baby, i love you so much. and you look so handsome tonight, how could i resist you? i want you. i want to make you feel good. do you want me too?“ i whisper against his lips

he grunts and nods

“use your words baby” i climb into his lap in the front seat and his hands go to my ass, pulling us closer together. i can feel his heat against my crotch and my hips buck into his instinctively.

“hh, fuck yes darling i want you. make me feel good? use me how you want to.”

i take this with a nod and i return to kissing him. i take my time on his lips, his cheeks, feeling his stubble and tasting his skin. i nose my way down his neck, licking and biting. im at his collarbone when i lean down to lick and bite at his nipples through his shirt.

“ah- darling, he-“ i cut him off with a precise nip, and he hisses. he doesnt think i can tell but i just know that he could cum from just having his nipples played with.

i tease the other with my hand before switching, lapping at the sensitive nub through the light fabric of his shirt. hes so handsome like this. usually so composed, now reduced to nothing but moans and whimpers.

when i think hes had enough of me biting and pulling at them, i prod at his waist. “off” i demand

he releases his hold on me to take his shirt off. and his chest and neck are already glistening with my ministrations. i return to marking him. neck, chest, hips, stomach. tenyas put on a layer of fat over his thick muscles but i find it all the more attractive.

his cock jumps against my crotch as i kiss lower and lower, eventually kneeling in front of his clothed erection. i kiss and lick at him through his jeans, determined to prolong this torture

he rubs at his erection while i lay kisses to his stomach before undoing his belt buckle and unzipping him. hes half hard, bulge in his underwear evident. hes wet too, if the spot is any indication.

“silly boy. all needy for me again, huh”

he peers at me through his fogging glasses, heart racing, panting. “ye- yes sir- fuck”

i cut him off with pulling his waistband down and taking him into my mouth. he tastes sour but familiarly so. i love the way that he tastes. i can feel him in the back of my throat as i bob my head, holding his knees for leverage, spreading his legs wider. hes gasping, trying not to tangle his fingers in my hair, trying to keep his hands to himself

im slightly aware of him playing with his tits as i suck his cock, looking up at him, flushed, as i work him with my fist and bob my head harder

hes so beautiful. i love him like this.

i dont let him release. when his hand goes to his mouth and his toes start curling in his socks, i mount him once more, kissing him

“are you ready for me? silly boy.” i tease. i kissing his lips and bite at him and he accepts, tongue on mine. he hums in approval and i get rid of my underwear and pants before struggling to sink down on his massive cock.

he bottoms out and groans, trying not to cum just from that. i start riding him, clenching as hard as i can to work him to orgasm faster. his head is thrown back against the seat as i bounce, surely shaking the car. i can feel him so deep

“you’re doing so good baby. youre such a good boy, letting me fuck you like this. and in- fuck theres the spot- and in public nonetheless.”

he nods and groans, eyes squeezed shut to delay his orgasm. hes cumming and he knows if. i can tell from the thick ropes that i feel and the warm feeling coatung my insides.

hes so beautiful. such a strong, powerful, fertile man. i know he’ll give me the prettiest babies someday.

i kiss him, cum pouring out of my hole and leaking down his cock. he moans and gets ready to pull me off of him before i put my hand on his chest to stop it.

“uhuh pretty.” i chide. “you finished in me now wait for it to take”

he stutters in confusion, almost upset at what hes done but still too fucked out to care. i nuzzle his jawline before kissing him again.”

“keep me plugged up, pretty. i want to feel your cum.”

he groans in embarrasment and blushes

i lean in, kissing him. “besides. the night is still young.”

tenya bucks up at that and i giggle, tracing circles amongst the bites that i left. all this underneath the stars, their shine reminding me of the marks that i left on tenya

[millswaffle]

imagine…

its levis birthday and you want to take him out. So your searching on the internet, until you stumble across a cute tea shop. The shop is here you can create your own tea for a reasonable, and chill in the cafe area. The shop was small but had a very calming environment, with plants being set everywhere, walls painted dark colors, and warm yellow lights brighting the room. The best part about it was the amount of tea selection! You were so excited to take you most amazing husband there for his birthday. Days passed quickly, and soon it was his birthday. “Happy birthday baby!” you said as you hugged and kissed all over Levi’s face. He chuckled and kissed your nose. “ Thank you my love,” he said.

You smiled and said to him, “I have a place I wanna take you too for your birthday.” “Where?” he said looking at you confused. “Mmmm its a surprise!” you giggled and pulled Levi out of yalls apartment and into the car. You drove 20 minutes before arriving at the tea shop. “What is this place?” he says while taking off his seatbelt, curiously looking at the shop. “You surprise! Now come on before we freeze in here!” You walked out of the car and waited for him to get out. He got out and linked his hand with yours. You both walk hand and hand to the shop. Levi opens the for you and immediately you both are hit with the smell of warm deliciously inviting tea. Levi’s eyes immediately light as he scans around the cafe. Vintage porcelain teacups wonderfully and neatly lined in chocolate wooden shelves. Rows of different teas herbs nicely kept in glass jars. And the section to brew your tea and buy pastries. You smiled at how cute his face lit up, like a little kid looking around in a candy shop.

You took his hand in yours and led him more inside. “Isnt it cool? You can brew your own tea here and lounge around the seating area,” you smiled at him brightly. “W-where did you find this place?” he says. “On the internet, but come on lets make tea!” You both grab a teacup and began looking through all the different verity’s of tea herbs. Levi of course makes himself his famous black tea, and he helps you make a blend of pomegranate mint green tea (yes theres fruit too!!). You pay for pastries and the tea, then yall go find a place to sit. Levi chose the sofa next to the large window. The good thing was it wasn’t crowded, so you and Levi could sit in peace. Levi sat down first, then you sat down sideways and put your legs over his thighs. He held you legs close and took a sip of his tea. You then took a sip of your tea and immediately was surprised at how AMAZING it tasted.

“Wow baby ! you make amazing tea!” He chuckles and looks at you with his loving blue grey eyes. “Thank you pretty girl, only the best for you.” He gently takes your hand and place a soft kiss on top. You blush a bit and lean in to place a soft kiss on his lips. He smiles and gently kisses you back. Yall lean away and enjoy the silence around you two, while enjoying the teas that warmly sit in your hands. You enjoy moments like these with your husband, silently sitting in each other’s comfort, him admiring you and you admiring him. Your free hand finds its way to play with his hair, and his eyes lovingly looking into yours. “Happy birthday Levi, i love you.” He smiles and says, “i love you too and thank you my love.”

(hi guys its miliii. soooooo im getting back into writing as to why this imagine is kinda bad BUT i had to write it bc its been in my head for SO long it had to be written. dw i wll be practicing more so eventually the short stories will get better. you should def listen to laufey while reading this! anyway love yall!)

[kaineillian]

Can I request dazai x make reader who asks him on a double suicide?

Yes of course! You didn't put what genre it would be so ill make it fluff! (theres too much dazai angst i ain't reading them or putting em on my story ಥ_ಥ)

Genre : Angst to Fluff.

Gender : Male Reader.

Character : Dazai Osamu.

“ we will live together forever.”

-3rd Person's Point of View.

Its been raining recently, the sky is dark. The weather is cold. The rain is heavy.

Dazai was oddly quiet. It surprised the others considering he is very loud and always annoying kunikida. However, he just sat there. Blankly. Atsushi wanted to talk to him but dazai's face and mood clearly says to not bother him. No-one dared to made a single noise. They continued on with their work while constantly eyeing at dazai. Kunikida was silent, ranpo made sure to quietly eat his snack, yosano didn't drag someone else to shop with her, naomi and tanizaki were just sitting on the couch. Kyouka looked at atsushi saying to call (Male name) and make him come here and get dazai. Atsushi nodded standing up walking out of the office and took his phone out to call (Male name) as he called him, kyouka went over to kunikida to tell him to make dazai get a day off. Kunikida nodded grabbing his ideal book and went out to tell the president.

After 10 minutes the door opened, (Male name) and atsushi went inside. Atsushi already told him what happened on the phone. (Male name) frantically drove his way to the building after what he told him. He went towards dazai already seeing whats wrong with him. He was too quiet and sat there like a statue.

He gently picked up dazai, pecking his lips. Dazai slowly looked at him and layed his head on his shoulder. (Male name) looked at the glasses man and nodded ranpo nodded back waving him goodbye. He went out with dazai and sat him on the passenger seat buckling him up. Before he could go inside the car he saw atsushi looking down at them with a worried look. (Male name) smiled at him and mouthed to not worry, atsushi smiled.

Atsushi gazed at the car as it drove off.

"Will dazai-san be alright? " Atsushi asked worryingly, he never saw dazai like that before. It surprised him to look so emotionless .

"He's on good hands, if his with (Male name) he'll be fine sooner or later. " He glanced at kunikida whose eyes were still on the computer. "Yeah you're right... " he mumbled. He hopes that it will be fine tomorrow.

(Male name) drove silently. Repeatedly looking at his motionless lover. He took a deep breath in before engaging a conversation. "... I buyed your favorite food. " No answer. "And i already made a pillow fort on the living room. " No answer. ".....we're going to oda-san's grave, the flowers are in the back... " Still no answer, but he could see dazai looking at him. He held dazai's hand;kissing it. "You know i love you, osamu. "

"I know you do... "

.

.

.

.

.

.

The car stopped, (Male name) got out of the car;umbrella on one hand with the other opening the passenger door. Dazai walked out with a bouquet resting on his arms. M/N closed the door and walked together with dazai towards odasaku's grave.

They stopped and looked down on the engraved stone. 'Sakunosuke Oda' A beloved friend that will never be forgotten.

Dazai gently placed the Boquet on the surface. The two stood on complete silence.

Suddenly, the rain slowly stopped. (Male name) looked up to the sky to see the beautiful sunlight, he folded the umbrella placing it down.

"What if we have a double suicide, love? " The suddenly question made (Male name) froze in place. "Lets have it peaceful and relaxing, we could jump off a bridge. " Dazai rambled on his plans for their suicide together. "We could feel at peace we could be—" (Male name) sigh standing back up and hugging. Dazai stopped his ramblings and stayed quiet.

"My love, you know i wont let you die— let us die"

He wrapped his arms around his waist. "I know its been hard without oda-san besides you. I know what it feels like to be left alone... " A tear pricked from his eyelids. "You want to die because you're tired—and you know that i cant and wont let you die! Im—... Whats the purpose of me with you if i cant save you... ? " He stared at the ground, his tears falling down his face. Then, he felt a hand touched his face. He looks down to see dazai smiling at him.

"You're my purpose to live and to die, i want to spend my life with you until i die, i apologize for scaring you love... " Dazai teared up. Now , both of them are crying.

They know that they will live forever. Nothing can separate them, even death. They will stay forever even when theres no end. They will love each other.

"We will live together forever... "

[stevie-petey]

Hi M! I saw you mention that you felt bad for Billy because of that particular lack of a chance he got to prove himself to be a good person. And I definitely agree because even tho he was really cruel and horrible, the scene of his death still made many of us cry 🤧

Because of this, I thought of a tiny little angst blurb if you want to write it!

In your latest chapter of come home, it was mentioned that he tried finding bug because he didn’t know what was going on with him and why he was acting the way he was.

Do you think you could write that from his pov?

Thank you! 😁

this one is a challenge because ive never written billys pov but heres my very poor attempt lmao

enjoy !

"dude, are you alright?"

lights blind billy. a ringing in his ears nearly deafens him. his vision blurs and his teeth grind into sawdust. the taste of blood fills his mouth as he bites down on his tongue. he grips at the lifeguard stand, hardly able to stand himself.

theres a guy in front of him. billy thinks his name is alex, who eyes him wearily. alex clears his throat, tries again. "hey, uh. billy?"

billy. his name is billy. billy hargrove.

the metallic taste of blood coats his mouth. he tries to speak, words tumble from mouth like a slippery slope. he doesnt have control over them. he cant remember if hes supposed to breathe in or out when he speaks.

all billy knows is that theres a girl out there. someone told him to come find her of he ever needed anything. what was her name? it started with an h, two, maybe three syllables.

he loses his footing, almost falls against the stands wood, and alex takes a step back from him. hes scared of billy. did he do something? hes cold. his entire body is cold.

"you know what, im just... i'll just go." alex takes another step back. he pushes his glasses up stands awkwardly in front of billy. "y/n is probably waiting for me, anyways."

the hair on billys arms stand up.

y/n henderson. that had been the girls name.

sweetheart. billy calls you sweetheart. hawkins sweetheart. the one who extended help to him.

"where?" saliva mixed with blood follows billys question.

alexs eyes widen. "w-what?"

"where. is. y/n?" he needs to find you. its getting harder and harder to keep the blood inside his mouth. his guts twist within his stomach, billy thinks the cold that attacks his body is really white hot heat, searing his intestines and burning him from the inside.

you said you could help him.

billy doesnt know whats going on. darkness seeps into his brain. he cant think straight. the sunlight casts a blinding streak across his eyesight. is he dreaming?

"she... she should be waiting in her car." alex isnt sure if he should be telling billy this. youve always been weird when it came to the mention of the boy, but billys sweat drips onto the concrete and alex thinks he may be experiencing heatstroke.

he decides then that he should take billy to you. alex knows youll know what to do. you always do. the amount of times youve saved his ass at work is more than hes willing to admit, but alex holds a deep appreciation for you.

alex grabs billys arm to guide him towards the pools exit, but the skin is cold to the touch. he flinches, he doesnt understand whats wrong with the guy. hes drenched in sweat and yet ice cold.

billy doesnt register any of this. all he can feel is his body being moved somewhere. hes removed from it all. his body hasnt been his ever since the night he crashed his car.

theres something inside of billy. something more sinister than the anger his father left him. worse than the bruises and scars from his childhood. and billy is afraid.

it takes some maneuvering, alex has to stop and steady billy every few feet, but eventually they make it to the pools parking lot. only your car isnt there.

alex curses and looks down at his watch. its almost one in the afternoon. your shift at bookstrordinary shouldve ended thirty minutes ago. youre never late.

and yet you never show.

billy and alex stand in the parking lot for nearly an hour waiting for you. the sun blazes down upon their skin. billy nearly blacks out at one point, and alex doesnt know what to do.

then something seems to shift within billy. his back straightens, his eyes suddenly ignite, and the blue in his irises is gone. black now infiltrates, and alex nearly trips on the curb in his haste to get away from him.

billy sniffs the air in an animalistic way. alex watches.

theyre here.

the voice booms in billys mind. its gravelly, rough, it isnt human.

follow them. follow her.

billy turns and sees el walking across the street. shes coming towards the pool. she hasnt seen him yet. neither have the others. those goddamn kids and max.

max.

who is he again?

[demontime09]

Faded - chapter 3

.•°●°•.☆☆☆.•°●°•.

_____________________________________

I wake up, my mouth dry as fuck. I groan and sit up, my sheets are a mess, Chris's clothes on the ground. I sit for a second, rubbing my eyes, yawning, and it hits me.

Chris kissed me before he left. He held my hands, told me I did good, let me cuddle him, and then he..

He kissed me. And once again I am reminded that through everything, even with his problems and his troublesome actions, I know he cares about me. And that is enough for me to stay.

I get up, order breakfast, make coffee, and while eating I notice we never finished the joint. It's sitting in my ash stray completely put out. "That doesn't make sense. That was- that's his weed." I thought. I creep over and see, a note?? "Finish this off for me, ma. -C" I can't help but smile cheesily.

It's just like Chris to gift me leftover weed.

My phone chimes. It's my friend Eve.

"Theres a party tonight

at my place Char,

ur man might be there too"

"Thanks but I might skip"

Read 12:13

My shoulders slump. I always hate letting down my friends but partying with Chris means I'll have to take care of him and ill be anxious all night. Which isn't all bad, I do love making sure hes all right. I'd just rather pick him up and do it in my own home.

My phone chimes again.

"Cmon Char, we miss you."

I huff out a sigh, I miss them too.

"Okay you've

convinced me, what time?"

Chris's POV

I have 0 clue where I am. My eyes focus on the object in front of me. Furry.. gray, it squeaks. My face scrunches as I sit up, disgusted. UGH that's like the biggest rat I've ever seen in my life. I find my footing, the pounding pain in my head worsening. Where's Charlotte with a glass of water and medicine when I need her. Charlotte. Where is Charlotte? At home I assume. I feel my pants for my phone, it's not there. I panic for a second before I see it on the ground a few feet away.

It takes about 30 seconds for my eyes to focus on my phone and 30 more seconds for my thumbs to move across the screen. I'm definitely high.. when did I get high? I blink a bunch and as I'm about to call Char my phone chimes. It's my old friend Eve from highschool.

Eve

Chris come to my party tonight.

Char will be there.

Alr

Read 12:30

Oh god Charlotte, she's all I need right now.

She'll know what to do, I think as I stumble back to my car.

I call her as soon as I'm sat in the driver's seat.

"Hello?"

"You home?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm coming over, I need some help ma."

And with that I hang up and almost speed to her house.

Before i get there, I pick up a bottle of rum and scotch, my favorites. Along with a huge can of pepsi. Why not start the party a little early?

I'm smart enough not to drink while driving, but as soon as I get into Charlotte's house I'm mixing my drink and chugging it to dull the pain in my head. She tiptoes out to me, looking as gorgeous as ever, but I'd never say that out loud.

I kiss her lazily on the temple. "Hey ma" "what do you need help with?" She immediately asks. Straight to the point, classic Char. "I jus' don't feel great and I need to be okay for that party tonight" I cringe at how needy I sound but Charlotte's eyes brighten immediately. "What kind of help?" She asks gently.

The alcohol must take affect very fast because before I know it my lips make contact with hers as my hand grabs the back of her head. I tilt it back to get a better angle as my other arm snakes around her waist, and then on her ass, and the back of her thighs. We smash against the fridge and she yelps on impact.

I pull back, nod toward the bedroom, my chest heaving. She looks a mess but it's so so hot. I take her hand and lead her there, where I spend the next 30 minutes inside her. She takes me from behind like she always does, I'm not an intimacy guy. And once I'm done she doesn't try to ask for aftercare or cuddle. She lays there for a short time before cleaning herself up, redressing, and waiting for my next move.

"Um, yk ma, I wish I could stick around but I-" "I know." She cuts me off. Her face neutral. "Alright, I'll see you at that party later then.." she smiles, her eyes tired. I leave quickly and for the 1 thousandth time, cuss myself out for not being different for her.

Authors note :3

Don't start complaining abt how the sex scene had no detail, there will be more. 😈😈

[kenzuieee]

ran haitani x spoiled gf

nothing..just some ran headcanons

ran haitani who doesn’t even try to hide the fact that hes staring at you while being behind the wheel of his bugatti la voiture noire.

ran haitani whose eyes glance from the street infront of his eyes to you. he practically undress you with them anytime theres a red light as his left hand grips the steering wheel whilst his right hand caresses your plush thighs. 

y/n who has to constantly remind ran to focus on the road as he keeps losing focus due to y/n quite literally seducing him without even knowing it.

y/n who constantly runs up ran’s bank card almost every day without a care in the world ? why should she care ? her boyfriend is ran haitani for fucks sake !!

y/n who puts her pretty feet painted white on ran’s dashboard as she mindlessly scrolls on instagram.

“rannn, do you think this would look good on me ?” you ask as you show the older haitani the most basic dress ever with a big smile plastered over your face.

“baby..that dress is so plain and simple for $2000.” he chuckles as he eyes the short black wool and silk dior dress on your cracked iphone 14 pro max. “and when did you crack your phone love ? i just bought it two months ago.”

you huff and pout as you lean back into the black seat of his luxury car. “so you’re saying it’d be ugly on me ?” you roll your eyes and continue, “and its the screen protector idiot.”

“i didnt say that love, anything looks good on you. i just dont think its worth that price.” ran mutters.

“whatever ran, im still going to buy it” you roll your eyes again while putting the dress in your cart, along with the DIOR ADDICT LIP GLOW OIL and some simple red bottom heels to match the dress. 

ran haitani who would definitely buy his girlfriend skims okay ?

you never have any luck with skims drops, as if anyone ever does. so you find yourself constantly complaining to ran about how what you want is never in stock or everything being sold out before you can even get to it. honestly, you weren’t TELLING ran to buy you skims, you were just complaining about the unfortunate situation thats been happening for months and months with each drop.  so when you and ran haitani left another bonten meeting at a bonten owned club, he told you about how he had a surprise awaiting you at your shared penthouse.

a series of “rannnn, what is it ? will you tell me please ?” flooded his ears during the car ride home that he simply smiled and answered with a simple “you’ll see.”

uppon arrival you see two large delivery boxes sitting upon the doorstep and you question what it could be. ran carries them inside with ease. ran removes his shoes after taking the boxes inside and tells you to sit infront of him and open the packages. you look at him with a puzzled face but nonetheless, you open the first box.

anticipation kills you as you remove the loads of packing peanuts and tissue to finally see a clear bag that says “SKIMS” on it and you almost pass out. 

“babeee” you look at him with puppydog eyes “did you really ? is all of this for me” you look at him as hes pouring some tequila into a clear glass with a cigarette between his lips. he looks at you, winks, and tells you to try everything on for him. of course, the first set you try on for him is the “fits everybody micro thong” and the “fits everybody micro triangle barlette.”

hi pookies, first post ig :3 this is the first “fanfic” i’ve written ig (?) lmk how i did and should i write a nsfw part 2 ? idk !! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

[teethkid67]

you begin your sunday on the couch, dress shoes still on, with a headache and a handful of stale gummy worms from the party last night. schlatt begins his with a cigar, and quackity starts with his arm as an ashtray. fundy is outside picking shotgun shells and fireball bottles out of the grass before you've even had time to say good morning.

it is not a good morning. dark like chew tobacco and slow as tar you realize no-one is coming to save you anymore. quackity won't look you in the eye, but he bites his cheek to keep his grin down as his gaze roams the walls like he can't wait to tear the place apart.

schlatt is the first to take something off the wall: an old, ugly painting wilbur picked up at a homegoods a million years ago. something he surely never gave much of a shit about, but you still flinch when schlatt lifts it from the nail and instructs you to get a garbage bag. but you fetch one and hold it open for him and then, when you put up no fight, and fundy is still outside, and quackity is still all shark smile, he tells you to start cleaning.

that is what it takes for them to begin picking your house to the bones. its methodically at first, dumping old takeaway boxes and draining vodka bottles, then harsh and uncaring like a flood or a struggle, toppling lamps and breaking mirrors. you dutifully pick up solo cups and half-empty pretzel bags and just as dutifully ignore anything that's not evidence of a party. eventually this catches up with you when schlatt tells you to kick it into fuckin' gear, kid, and jerks his chin at the fucking telephone of all things, this place isn't gonna clean itself.

a few minutes later quackity hands you an armful of everything that used to be pinned to your white fridge, looking a little sheepish but frankly not all that guilty. an old worksheet of fundy's is whats at the top of the stack, sunbleached from the window above the sink and with a broken chunk of now-gummy magnet stuck to the page.

WRITE about a time you had to make a difficult decision, it reads in big letters. explain what the decision was and what choice you made. At the top is a big, circled 100.

report cards and sticky notes and novelty magnets are joined by your vomit in the big bin at the curb. with your hands on your knees you take inventory. theres a box of shampoo and soap bars taken from the bathroom, and a bag of bedsheets and pillowcases. theres schlatt's car in your driveway and it makes your heart jackrabbit. wilbur doesn't drive. even if he did, his car wouldn't be out front.

you go back inside and take on the rest of the house with a newfound sense of numbness—emptying your stomach had probably helped. fundy has appeared again, and you help him bag up the books that schlatt had swiped off the mantle to make room for his shotgun. no matter what you do, he won't say a word to you.

eventually you are both led by an eager quackity to the backyard shed, where he hands you a hatchet and fundy a hacksaw and tells you to take down the fence.

schlatt says no more fence, he says, why would we need a fucking fence? so we gotta take the stupid thing down.

you swallow your pride with globs of spit and swing for the support beams so fundy, who quickly abandoned the hacksaw, can tear out the boards with his bare hands. he's mad, if the look on his face and the way he pries at the panels are any indication. at who is anyones guess. you're starting to think it might not be schlatt. quackity arms himself with a chainsaw and has a great, violent time laughing and breaking the wood into manageable sizes for your fireplace.

schlatt comes to lean against the railing on your raised porch and watches the three of you work, smoking what you think is his third cigar of the day. in his other hand is tommy's favorite glass, about a third full with whiskey and ice.

he and quackity shout over the roar of the chainsaw about next steps; living room paint color, new sheets for the bed, what to make for dinner. your arms shake and the afternoon sky darkens with clouds. when the temperature drops and the sky begins to spit down rain, schlatt and quackity duck inside with a shout to finish up out there.

by the time the fence is gone, the sun has set behind the woods, you're soaked to your skin, and your fingers are blue with cold and red with blood blisters. you collapse on the couch–the same one you've slept on for almost as long as you can remember–and shut your eyes against a living room you no longer recognize. fundy disappears into his bedroom and comes back in a set of dry clothes. quackity frowns and tells you to get up, you'll ruin the upholstery, then offers you a slice of mostly-cold pizza.

you slide to sit on the floor instead and pick the onions and bell peppers off the piece of pizza. your stomach turns. thuds and bangs echo through the house, and then its a terrible jerky screech as schlatt and quackity drag wilbur's old executive desk down the hall and through the front door. the corners dig lines into the linoleum and papers and knickknacks are strewn through the whole house.

there's tax records in there, you say, watching a wheat penny skid beneath the couch. they're in the second drawer on the left. and probably the deed, too.

schlatt makes a dismissive noise. don't need 'em. he doesn't say anything else, so you don't either.

as they're turning it through the front door, you watch schlatt grab a silver ring from a rolled-open drawer. he turns it over in his hand before passing it to quackity, who slips it on his finger and examines it under the light. don't get any ideas, honey, schlatt grumbles, and quackity squawks something about schlatt running out on him as they push the desk the rest of the way through the door. they both cackle as it tumbles down the front porch stairs.

you lean forward to pick up an old microwave manual and a receipt for a goodwill donation. for a moment, you can almost pretend you're just spring cleaning while wilbur files your stupid taxes; tommy shredding shit you don't need anymore and threatening to shove your fingers into the blades; fundy sorting grocery receipts. then schlatt slams the front door shut, and the house shakes, and they laugh the whole way down the hall to wilbur's room, quackity still watching the ring sparkle as he turns his hand this way and that. their conversation grows muffled behind the locked bedroom door.

you stare down the hall from your place on the floor. the rain rattles against the house. there're splinters in your hands. you feel like you missed your opportunity to cry about it all, so you finish your pizza instead, even the crusts. then you pull yourself to you feet, socks squelching in your dress shoes, and grab another trash bag and your hoodie from the coat closet.

slowly, you creep through the front door and down the steps, past schlatt's pontiac, and begin hunting through the bags and piles of your whole life for anything you can save.

[soph-the-podcast-nerd]

Warning more Juno Steel Spoilers

I’m doing another reaction for part 2 of the case closed

pt 1

Loving junos personification of Hyperion City

aw hes so happy to be a private eye again lol

PUCK FALCO? I was not expecting to see them in this episode honestly

The Sheriff Hates Paperwork

“yeah shes the best we all know that” SO FAIR

ah…. I’m getting Thea soul vibes

Yeah we don’t have a car cuz it went back to its home planet nbd 🤷‍♀️

You guys. I love rita so much. Like I can’t explain how much I love her. Rita is absolutely the best. Idk what I’m going to do without her :(

“Oh. Its you.” “Funny, thats exactly what I say when I look in the mirror each morning.” I love how the penumbra podcast can just be so casually funny with random lines like this

Pilot pereyra was. The one with the high heels I think? I don’t remember… was that the one that was with them at the old station when they were trying to find like. The underground city. Cuz that was a while back and I cannot remember (it sounds like I need to relisten to juno steel lol)

Wait was I right about the thea soul

cuz if juno had one in his office its possible they’re still out there

Ah. fuck.

Loving this music so much aaaaa

all the music is so great on tpp i love it

AAAAAAAAAA MICK UR BACK YAYYYYYYYY

also juno did you have some coffee. Why are u so hyper

i love mick so much hes so silly aaaaa

Juno my boy loves being a pain in the ass

also juno learn how to make tea its not that damn hard like mick doesn’t know much but he knows how to make tea

this is so funny everyone make fun of juno time because he doesn’t know how to use a computer, he doesn’t know how to make tea, but somehow hes an amazing private eye???

Well theres only one person we haven’t seen. Thats right Sasha wi

just kidding peter nureyev the man in glass

you ever think about. Trees?

bro is trying to…. stop… autumn???

hes so dumb I love him. Keep doing what you’re doing dude never change

also when was the last time we heard juno genuinely laugh. Have we ever heard him laugh like this? Hes just. So happy. I’m so glad.

i bet you that nureyev comes through the window in these last 13 minutes. Or hes already sitting inside

Aaa fuck you juno now I’m crying

why are doing this to me. I’m. Aughhhh. Crying.

especially with this music

FUCK. I’m sad.

We dont get a reunion? Aw

i kinda get it tho

Ah fuck I dont have any money

you guys I’m going to miss this show so damn much oh. Oh my god. Also I don’t have any money and the money I do have is in cash cuz I’m a minor without a job. But I’m so excited to hear about future projects

[yonpote]

i really want to write a full analysis comparing dnp to that one stupid lil gay furry indie rock album with the dogs on the cover but that requires way more research than i thought... so for now here is a lyrical analysis of "Twin Fantasy (Those Boys)", the final song off the album Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) by Car Seat Headrest, and comparison to dnp wrt to their careers and lives.

the original context of this album and this chorus is that the narrator is reflecting on a tumultuous past relationship, at first viewing this romance through rose-tinted glasses (the dark, inside, fantasy) before finally being able to see the truth (the sun, outside, reality.) the pain of looking at the sun is the pain of revisiting the narrator's past. often times we use pain as an indicator that we are experiencing reality (pinching yourself to make sure you're not dreaming.)

these lines repeat throughout the song, yknow like a chorus...

the past few years of dnp's careers and lives have been very much on the reflective and introspective side. for them, the "fantasy" is the explosion of their careers, their success as creators, the audience who has stuck with them. of course all of this is true, but at the same time, the reality is that during the absolute height of their careers, they were in the closet, had repressed mental health issues, had overworked themselves, and had their boundaries frequently overstepped. and they have been reflecting on both sides of this coin.

the story and memories the narrator has retold will never disappear. the fond memories of the relationship will always be there, both figuratively and literally as they have been recorded in song form.

this is true for dnp as well. the memories that they share, both with each other and with the audience, won't go away. we will always have pinof 1. we will always have videos of them being silly and goofing off and just having fun with each other. and even when they have deleted stuff in the past, they are no longer trying to take any of it down and even reference deleted videos and old posts as they no longer have anything to hide in showing them.

dude im not even gonna analyze these lyrics i just wanted to add them here cuz like just fuckin read them what the hell is this gay shit this is so dnp (and also its the same concepts as seen above)

edit: i lied i am going to expand my thoughts on these lyrics

dnp have basically built their careers on having fun. they've taken jobs and sponsorships they didnt want necessarily, they were workaholic closet cases, but like. they always made sure to have a good time. you can especially see this in the very early videos as well as on the gaming channel, where they felt ever so slightly less pressure to put up a front. they LOVE creating stuff together, they love hanging out with each other, theres absolutely no denying this! theyre not kissing and theyre not fucking i mean who knows lmao but instead of interpretting that literally, its more like. thats not the point, that was never the point. are there shippers amongst us? yes fer sure, but that isnt what pulled us all in. what pulled us in was their connection, their dynamic, and how much fun they have on camera together!!!!!!! these two brothers lovers boys and their smooth-cocked youthful adventures!

the cover of twin fantasy is a very simple drawing of two anthropomorphic dogs in an embrace, their arms seeming to be conjoined, and the eye of one dog overlapping with the similarly drawn nose of the other dog.

dan and phil. are so symbiotic. how much of this do i have to explain... from the very start, from their first meeting. yes there are the superficial similarities (tall gay british emos who like the same media) but anyone can have those similarities. dnp knew immediately that there was a connection that they shared that was different from anyone else's. there was some sort of inescapable pull toward each other, call it fate or soul-bonding or autism, they simply could not keep away from each other even if they wanted to.

alright THIS. OK THISSSSSS.

ok ok so there are two versions of this entire album, and in the rerecording (which is what we're analyzing) some lyrics have been changed. this part is spoken word, and is completely different from the original. in the og (mirror to mirror) version, it seems the narrator is lamenting this awakening into reality, and breaking the fantasy for him is dark and twisted. in this new version, the narrator is no longer talking about himself in third person. he is Actually breaking the fantasy now, literally breaking the fourth wall, and directly addressing the person whom this album was written about. the contract is up, the names have been changed, aka, they no longer have to be tied down by this dark history. in the real world, the songwriter and this ex are still friends (or have become friends again?) and said ex even drew the art for the album that came after this rerecording. this story that the narrator had put out into the world, they no longer allow it to chain down what could happen in the future.

DAN AND PHIL. OK WAIT ACK OK so like circling back to what i was saying earlier about THEIR fantasy and reality, i mentioned how their reality was dark compared to the fantasy that they showed to us on youtube. and now they have shown us that reality. BUT AGAIN. they refuse to let that tie them down!!!! yes it took a few years of recuperation but they are creating stuff together again! AND AGAIN! the version of them that can exist outside of everything, is in their old videos. we can always go back! they will always be there for us (both dnp and the audience) to revisit. in theory i mean things get deleted but ykwim tho... the contract is up. they are no longer obligated by their management or by publishing or by radio to censor themselves or hide any aspect of themselves. the names have been changed. dan rebranded in 2017, but phil also very subtly and very slowly rebranded in his own way. the gaming channel literally came back from the dead, got a facelift, and yeah itll always be the same ole dnp banting and jesting but from the very first return video the energy is SO MUCH DIFFERENT and i PROMISE it is not just bc they are out as gay although OBV thats a huge part of it but they are just. happier! and more themselves! and its so visible in their faces and body language and tone and EVERYTHINGGGGG.

but listen, remember, these are only lyrics now. theres a version of them that exists outside of everything. and that version is in the old videos. yes they were closeted and overworked and mentally struggling, but they were still happy there too. and they never ever discount how happy those videos have made US. they know how much all of their older content means to us bc it means so much to them too. "you are as important to us as we are to you."

i'll end this with the last line, that repeats over and over before the song finally ends. this line can be interpretted so many ways imo, but i just think it generally ties together my entire thesis. thank you for reading my deranged gay rambling <3

when i come back, you'll still be here.