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moralesispunk · 4 years

Text

Confessions

Marcus Moreno x Female Reader

Summary - You and Marcus finally confront your feelings for one another

You and Marcus had worked together for a while now. At first, it was a strictly work relationship where all your discussions were about Heroics meetings and training sessions. It started to move into a friendship when you found yourself wanting to see him more. You would go out of your way to bring contracts to him that had to be signed rather than have your assistant do it. The both of you would spend five or ten minutes talking about what you had been up to that weekend or the new Netflix show you were both watching.

Marcus had noticed the change too. He found himself no longer taking his lunch alone in his office but hoping that when he went to the break room instead you would be there too. Now you would spend lunch together almost every day.

You tried to keep your feelings to strictly friendly in nature, telling yourself you just cared how his date at the weekend went because you wanted him to be happy and not because you were jealous.

“So, are you going on a second date then?” you asked, playing about with the lunch that sat in front of you. Marcus’s mum had made some soup the night before and he brought in an extra portion for you to try, telling you he thought you would like it.

“Yeah, she asked if I wanted to go for dinner tomorrow,” he replied with a sigh.

“Don’t sound to excited,” you teased with a laugh.

“No, no, I am… I think,” he said, “when I first started dating again I just thought I had been out of the game for too long but now, I’m not so sure.”

You didn’t enjoy giving him dating advice but you didn’t like seeing him anything other than happy even more so. You took in a deep breath before replying.

“Going on a second date can’t hurt,” you said with a smile, “if you don’t want to then you can cancel but if you’re not sure, what harm will it do? Plus, excuse to go out and have some nice food.”

Marcus smiled and nodded before finishing the rest of his lunch. He was so comfortable talking to you he wanted to spend all day doing it. Talking about everything and anything. He can’t lie to himself and pretend that he didn’t think about asking you out on a date. In fact, he thought about it every day. But you had never shown an interest in him like that. You were friends with him now and he treasured that friendship. He didn’t want to ruin it by crossing a line that you didn’t show any signs of wanting him to cross.

After lunch you both went back to your own offices and worked the afternoon away. A contract came down on your desk that Marcus had to sign and so once you finished what you were doing you took it over to him.

You knocked on the door and as he held his phone up to his ear gave you a smile and waved you in.

“No, it’s okay! Have a safe flight,” Marcus said before hanging up the phone and sighing.

“Everything okay?” you asked as you placed the contract down on his desk with a pen.

“That was Missy’s babysitter. She’s had to leave town for the weekend so can’t come over tomorrow. Maybe its a sign,” he said as he signed.

“I can come over if you want?” you offered.

You had met Missy plenty of times before and had stayed with her for a few hours while Marcus had a last minute meeting to go to.

“Are you sure? You don’t have any plans,” he asked.

“None. My weekends aren’t as in demand for dates as yours Mr Moreno,” you said teasingly.

He smiled at you but it wasn’t quite reaching his eyes before nodding.

“Thank you,” he said, “I’ll give you a text tomorrow?”

“Sounds good, see you then,” you said before leaving his office.

———-

The next day Marcus sent you a text letting him know his date was at 6 and you could come over any time before 5:30. You began to worry you had made the wrong choice offering to watch Missy as he went on a date. It was one thing listening to him talk about his dating life and maybe offering a little advice but now you were helping him. You shook your head trying to rid the jealous feeling but you couldn’t help it. You wished more than anything that you were the one going on the date with him tonight.

You arrived at his house around quarter past 5 and took a minute to calm your breathing before going up to the door. You knocked and tried to put on a smile before Marcus answered the door.

He looked as handsome as ever. Smart trousers and a nice shirt that wasn’t buttoned all the way up. His hair wasn’t as smart as it was for work but still styled and he was without his glasses.

“Hi,” he said with a smile, opening the door wider to let you in.

“Hi back,” you said.

“Missy has had dinner. She is just in watching TV,” he said, tilting his head towards the family room, “I shouldn’t be out too late.”

“It’s fine, I don’t have anywhere to be,” you said, putting your hands in your pockets as you suddenly felt uncomfortable, “you look good, by the way. Lucky lady.”

You began to regret your comment before his cheeks flushed in response. He gave a shy smile before nodding towards you.

“You look good too,” he said quietly.

There was now a silence over you as you both stood awkwardly in the hall before Missy walked out.

“Hi,” she said with a big smile, coming over to give you a hug, “I found a film for us to watch already.”

You laughed and softly squeezed a hug back before looking back to Marcus. He was watching you both, a small but real smile on his face as he took in the sight before him.

He looked at the clock and reaching for his jacket told you that he better get going. He leaned down to give Missy a hug, lifting her slightly from the ground, and before thinking about it stood up and give the side of your cheek a kiss. His cheeks flushed with pink again before walking out of the door.

Missy already had your hand in hers and was dragging you towards the kitchen to get some snacks for the “girls movie night” as she was calling it, which made you smile. You noticed that Marcus had left some snacks on the kitchen counter and it contained your favourite sweets and crisps that you had mentioned to him once before. You smiled as you grabbed them and a few bowls to pour some out before moving to the couch.

Missy had the movie already set up and ready to go, so once you were both comfortable under the blanket she pressed play. She spoke during the film, telling you what else that actor had been in and commenting on what was going on, but you weren’t really paying much attention to the film in front of you.

You were thinking about Marcus on his date. He looked amazing, he always does, and he is so perfect in every way that theres no way his date wouldn’t be falling for him like you so obviously had.

By the time the movie finished it was still early enough and so you and Missy decided to watch the sequel as well.

———-

Marcus couldn’t concentrate on his date. She was lovely but he couldn’t help but think about the woman who was back at home. He kept wondering what you were doing and what you were thinking about. There had been something between you both before he left this evening, surely he wasn’t the only one who felt that?

———

Before the end of the second film, Missy was already starting to fall asleep, so you stopped it to walk her half-asleep self upstairs. You made sure she had brushed her teeth and was ready for bed before getting her to climb into bed. You went back downstairs and cleared up the small mess of bowls and glasses before finding something on TV to watch for the rest of the night. You found yourself thinking of Marcus again. Would he give his date a kiss at the end of the night? You couldn’t help the wave of jealousy that was washing over you now. The only thing that put a stop to these thoughts was the sleep that eventually took over your body as you fell into a sleep curled up on the couch.

Marcus arrived home not that much later. He drove his date home and found himself getting more excited to get home and see you than he had on his drive to the date tonight. When he pulled up outside her house she seemed like she was going to lean in for a kiss before Marcus stopped her. He told her that he had a good time but didn’t think this was going anywhere. She took it well, her ego not seeming to be too damaged by the rejected kiss, and once she was safely inside Marcus found himself happily singing along to the radio.

The house was quiet when he entered and as he followed the light of the TV from the living room he found you curled up into the corner of the couch, a blanket draped over you, and your eyebrows furrowed. He felt a warmth run through his chest and he knew that his heart wasn’t his own any more. It belonged to you. As he carefully sat down next to you he wondered what you were dreaming about. He almost didn’t want to wake you but after a moment reached out to gently shake your arm while saying your name.

“Hey, its just me,” he said quietly as you began to wake up.

“Marcus?” you said still half asleep as you sat up, “how was the date?”

He sighed leaning back into the couch, “I told her that I thought it best not to go on a third date.”

“So not the best then,” you laughed slightly.

“I just, I think I’m just going for the wrong ones,” he said quietly. He had thought the whole way home about whether to tell you that he was feeling more for you than just a friendship and while he decided he would, now he was faced with you he didn’t know if he could say the words.

“Well, you’ll know when its the right one,” you said, moving closer to give his arm a squeeze, “anyone would be lucky to have you Marcus. You’re so smart, and kind, and not to mention handsome…”

As you trailed off your eyes moved from his to his lips. You didn’t know if not being fully awake yet made you more confident but you found yourself leaning in slightly. Just as you were about to stop, Marcus started to lean in too.

You don’t know who made the first move but it didn’t matter. Your lips met in a soft kiss, with your hand still on his arm and his hand now resting on your thigh. You pulled away and your foreheads rested against one another’s.

“Wow,” Marcus said with a smile.

“Yeah,” you giggled back.

You both sat up straighter, looking at one another in the eye and not sure who should speak first. Marcus moved to take your hands in his.

“I have to admit, I’ve thought about what it would be like to do that for a while now,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

“I have too,” you said, giving his hands a squeeze of reassurance, “how did it match up?”

“Better than I could have imagined,” he sighed contently, while looking down at your lips, “can I kiss you again?”

“Please,” you said quietly with a smile and you both moved in for a kiss slightly more desperate than the first. It was still gentle as his hands let yours go to cup your face and you rested yours on his arms, but there was more to it now.

When you eventually broke away neither of you could stop the smiles that were on your faces.

“So… do you maybe want to go on a date sometime?” Marcus said with a laugh.

“I would love that, Marcus,” you said laughing back.

“Next weekend?"

“Its a date.”

You stood and started to fold the blanket that had been draped over your lap and reached for your jacket. Marcus walked you out to the door, asking you to let him know when you got home, and as you stood outside you both waited for a moment.

“Can I give you a call tomorrow,” he asked shy now.

“You can indeed,” you said with a smile.

Marcus’s hand found yours and he pulled you in gently, placing another soft kiss to yours lips.

“Just needed one more.”

You smiled and said goodbye before walking to your car. Marcus waited at the door, watching as you got in and started the engine, the both of you giving a wave before you drove off, and he waited until you were just out of sight before walking back inside.

He found himself smiling more than usual as he got ready for bed that night, still thinking about how your lips felt against his and how next weekend he finally would get to take you out on a date he had been dreaming of for a while now.

#marcus moreno #marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno x you #marcus moreno fic #marcus moreno oneshot #marcus moreno headcannon #marcus moreno fanfic #marcus moreno fanfiction #we can be heroes #pedro pascal

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the-volume-is-astronomical · 3 years

Text

The Crown, The Sword, and The Gay

Meant To Be Good News

A/N: ... heyyyyy- its been a bit. I got rapped up in exams and i felt like being productive today so u get a chapterrrr and i wrote another one so u have about two chapters guaranteed ill try to be more consistent lol (also long chapter as compensation)

(also let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist!)

First | Previous| Next

words: 2286

summary: Virgil doesn't want to deal with this mess but he was sent to deliver a message so, theres not much he can do

pairings: eventual prinxiety, eventual intrulogical, eventual moceit, Remile

warnings: some potty language (not much), stress, anxiety, negative self talk, food mention, worried for a characters safety

(let me know if there's any other)

They went up the steps in silence.

As they entered through the door, Roman grabbed the basket that was abandoned during the argument. He left it on a table near the entrance, he headed towards the corner with shelves, grabbed a brown book, nothing interesting in the cover, just a plain brown book and headed towards the window seat to read.

Virgil was struggling to decide if he should try to speak or not, he absolutely despised small talk but if he didn't talk he didn't want it to get awkward. He looked over to Roman because if he did decide to talk to the prince, what in the hell would he even talk about?! Virgil saw the royal glance up from his book to look at the small table near all the shelves that had a single red book, it was simple like the one he was holding, it just had a title, yet it caused more intrigue than the other.

When Virgil took a good look at Roman he looked somehow defeated, like he had lost- no, given up on a 100 year long fight. The monarch glanced once more at the table with the red book, this time however, he caught a glimpse of the stormy knight, “ You should sit down, the trip back alone takes a few hours, it's gonna be some time before you get to go back.” Virgil looked up at the prince who had resumed his reading, “Uh… yeah” he took a seat near the desk Roman kept glancing at.

Virgil decided to take a glance at the book. It seemed to be a fictional adventure book...seems interesting. Roman looked at the table again and spotted the tall knight carefully opening the book. “It’s an adventure book. Just a fairytale.” Roman’s voice seemed to startle Virgil as he immediately slammed the book shut.

“Y-yeah sorry, I didn't mean to open it without permission, that was so rude of me and-” Roman stopped him mid rant “It's alright, you can read it. One of my personal favorite books.” The prince smiled at him to show he didn't mind “I’m not much of a reader. I just uh… got curious, I guess?” Virgil didn't seem sure of his answer. “Well, I can give you a small summary! If you’d like me to, of course.” Roman backtracked pretty quickly, snide comments about how excited he got over meaningless things forcing themselves into his head. But Virgil’s “Sure, Why not?” Made him a little less apprehensive.

“Ok! So, the story is focused on this boy named Aaron. He is a poor farm boy living with his family in a village that was overthrown by the guards, they became corrupted and betrayed the royal family and took control for themselves.” Virgil just nodded along.

”They treated the least wealthy of the kingdom the worst, they didn't have money to bribe them with so to them they were useless, it got to the point where they were becoming the robbers, they would never steal from people with money because they were cruel people. Aaron and his father wanted to make a change but his mother didn't want them to, she wanted to play it safe and just gather enough money to leave for a better place.”

Roman rambling about the story not realizing how little of a summary it actually was since he definitely wasn't being concise, “I agree with the mom. Her plan sounds safe and effective.” Virgil didn't really mind, at least he wasn't going to be bored while he waited, “Maybe so! But where's the fun in that, dear knight?” Roman didn't really get the knights perspective “May not be fun but at least they'll get outta there without a problem” Virgil thought he was in the right and that the main character would make stupid reckless decisions for the drama and suspense.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Aha! They went back to the mom’s plan anyway! There was literally no need to try and do all that heroic shit.” Virgil was now fully invested in the story, he probably wouldn't have been if Roman wasn’t such a good storyteller.

“Well yeah... But it was worth it! If they didn't try they would have never known the outcome of that situation.” Roman was happy the knight seemed invested, he was mostly happy because he finally got to discuss the book with someone, and that someone had very different opinions than himself.

There was a knock on the door.

They both looked at each other, It didn't feel like they had been talking for that long. So, who in the hell was at the door?

Virgil stood up, hand fidgeting with the hilt of his sword. Roman stood as well, they both walked towards the door. Virgil opened the door, only to find Ruth on the other end of the door. “Oh, it's the lady from earlier.” Virgil turned to Roman as he let her in.

“Nurse, how did you get back so quickly?” Roman spoke up. “I wouldn't say it was that quick, it's been a few hours. But we found someone along the way so that did speed up the process.” Ruth talked as she noticed the untouched basket and started nearing it.

Roman and Virgil on the other hand looked at each other with confusion. It didn't feel like they had been talking for more than half an hour. “I'm sorry, I must have been talking your ear off.” The royal felt a need to apologize, “Hey, at least you made the wait entertaining.” the knight did not deem it necessary.

Ruth turned and glared at Roman. “So, you haven't eaten?” Roman glanced at the untouched basket and cursed under his breath, he completely forgot. “ Well…” Ruth was not having it “You brat.” She walked behind him and started pushing him towards the table.

“I had an excuse!” Ruth stopped pushing him “And what is it?” Roman turned to meet her eye and said, “I get nauseous when I eat too early.” Ruth looked unimpressed “I'm fully aware Roman. But it's almost noon.” Roman’s brain scrambled for another excuse “I was reading and I lost track of time.” She was still very much unimpressed. “As long as it wasn't the book you always read, fine by me”

As Roman’s nurse made sure Roman ate she noticed Virgil standing a few feet behind them. “I wasn't able to introduce myself earlier. I am Ruth, the brat’s nurse.” She extended her hand with a smile. Virgil shook her hand while he chuckled, which was interrupted by Roman’s overdramatic offended noises. “Nurse! You’re making him think I'll be a nightmare to care for!”

Ruth turned to him “Was I supposed to lie to him and tell him you’re a delight? My apologies, sire” Roman put a hand on his chest and gasped. “Now I understand why Trent called you a witch!” Ruth laughed, “You’re just basically proving my point.” Roman could only grumble and go back to eating.

Ruth took a look around the tower and spotted the red book on a table. “I see you've decided to become a liar huh?” Roman turned to her “Whatever do you mean?” She walked towards the table and picked up the book “Seems like someone was reading the same book they always read, I don't understand why they read it if they've memorized the whole book!” Roman knew Ruth was only joking but he didn't appreciate being called a liar “I wasn't reading it this time it was just out in the open! You can ask him!”

Roman pointed at Virgil, Ruth just looked at Virgil expecting an answer, “He wasn't reading that book, he was reading the one by the window” it wasn't a lie. “You better not be covering for that devil.” Virgil noticed there wasn't any malice behind her voice, her words portrayed something different. “Are you accusing me of being a liar? I thought that was reserved for the prince.” Ruth started laughing “Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Virgil just chuckled.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman’s nurse sat next to the window, looking out worriedly. Roman knew his nurse fairly well, “Has Remy not gotten back yet?” Ruth sighed and turned “My son and his tardiness again”.

Roman went over to his nurse, giving her a hug “I’m sure he’s just a little late..” Ruth tried to smile at Roman “I know Roman. I'm just a worried old hag.” Roman rolled his eyes and sat by the window

Ruth looked out the window one last time and took a deep breath. “Well I have to get going so we get there some time before sunrise” Roman stood up to say a proper goodbye to his nurse. “See you in a few days…” Roman really didn’t want to let go but he didn't have much of a choice.

Ruth started packing what she had brought in silence, once she neared the door she spoke “Roman, his and her majesty will have to be informed about this incident..” Roman was obviously not content because this would surely somehow be put partially on him. “Yes, I understand.” Ruth smiled sympathetically and turned to the storm eyed knight only a few feet away.

“Virgil, you’ll have to stay with Roman for a while longer. Commander Arlott sure didn't expect the need to find a replacement for Trent and truly not a day after being stationed here.” Virgil just nodded, he understood the circumstances and was glad to be able to witness such a sight. “The Commander insisted it would take quite some time to take someone off their post, he insisted he wasn't worried.” Ruth opened the door ready to leave, while Virgil was just trying for the pressure to not get to him.

Ruth said her final goodbyes and exited the tower.

Virgil then turned to the Royal, who went back to the same spot he had been before Ruth arrived, and just stared out the window as his nurse left.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Roman sat near the big window just looking out he started wondering why Virgil had even come here in the first place. He vaguely remembered Trent mentioning him being a messenger but that could just be some Knightly insult he was unaware of. So… he asked “Virgil, if you don't mind me asking...why exactly did you come here?” Virgil looked alarmed for a second as he had just zoned out for about 20 minutes “Commander Arlott, wanted me to deliver a message to Trent” Roman just responded with a simple “Oh” and resumed his staring out the window.

“So… how did the book end?” Virgil felt a little embarrassed to interrupt the silence to ask but he got extremely invested, to the point that if the Prince refused to share the information he might just read it himself. Roman just laughed, he knew how intriguing the book was “Well… In the middle of the mother’s plan being in motion they actually got word of a rebel group that had been inspired by their attempts to take the crown back.” Virgil sat down right across from the Royal nodding for him to go on.

Roman continued speaking but he kept getting distracted by a tapping sound. At first it was nothing, but then it got so prominent he couldn't ignore it anymore. Mid-rant he stopped himself and started looking around to see where the sound could possibly be coming from.

Virgil was confused as to why the heir had stopped speaking but then he started to hear taps. They didn’t sound like just a regular forest sound and they would surely not hear minuscule noises from such a height.

“Dear knight, are you hearing that?” Virgil nodded and stood up to see what could possibly be causing the ticks, Roman stood right along with him and then suddenly pointed towards the balcony doors. “Virgil, it's coming from the balcony.”

Virgil stopped to listen carefully “Yeah, but what's causing it?” They then saw a little pebble hit the glass doors of the balcony and make the tapping they had been hearing.

Roman went to the balcony with no hesitation and opened the doors.

Virgil started having his thoughts race a mile a minute, what if this was to lure the prince out to assassinate him? If the prince died on his watch he would be hung no doubt.

As these thoughts crossed his mind, he moved forward to follow the prince. He then quickly realized the prince was leaning over the balcony having a casual conversation with his possible murderer.

“Remy, what are you doing here? Ruth is going to kill you if you don't get there by sunrise!” Roman screamed down to the man in a black cape with dark tinted glasses covering his eyes. “Well yeah! But I had to make a stop here! I have something for you!” That made Roman start jumping with anticipation as to what Remy could have brought him from his trip

“What is it Rem? Is it something fancy? Is it food? Is it a book?” Though his eyes couldn't be spotted, not only because of his glasses but due to the height, it was very apparent he rolled his eyes. “No! It's a letter.” That got Roman even more excited. Could it actually be him? Roman haven't received anything but it could actually be! Finally some good news!

“Who’s it from?!” Remy looked down at the letter as if inspecting it “I don't know.” That caused Roman’s excitement to dull immensely. He would have surely marked it. There’s still a chance it could be him, right? Roman’s anticipation quickly turned into more of an anxious feeling.

taglist:

@meowthefluffy

@shade-romeo

@pattonsmile

@sevencreepycatsinacoat

@mychemically-imbalanced-romance

@innerpostturtle

@queenof-hell

@joyrose-fandomer

@vpow

#prinxiety #remile #ts roman #roman sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #roman angst #prinxiety fic #platonic remy n roman

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i-simp-for-gintoki · 4 years

Text

Visiting Yuji in Tokyo

“yuji x reader where she was childhood friends with yuji and its basically the friends to lover sort of thing? and basically reader is visiting tokyo and meets up with yuji for the first time in months?? bonus if gojo and megumi are there :)”-anon

Damn its either super short or long no inbetween huh? Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted! Some of the characters are little ooc (when are they not when i write them-).This turned out much much longer than it needed to be

You and Yuji have known each other since kindergarten

He’s such a sweet kid its always really fun to hang out with him

You guys play lots of video games together and are basically inseparable

Constantly reading manga or watching anime its great

Your parents disapproved of you hanging out with a dude all the time but you could care less

Why should you only be friends with your own gender? Thats so stupid

You always wondered about why yuji had such great strength and speed but he says he was just born that way

Hes just built different

Around middle school his grandpa’s health had dropped and was moved to the hospital

You did your best to make sure yuji stayed in good spirits and often visited the older itadori with him

He’s not the best at wording things but hes always there for emotional support

Maybe it was around 7th grade you noticed something was different around yuji

Like he himself hasn’t changed but whenever you look at him your heart just melts

Your thoughts or compliments seem more filled with love for him and thats when you realized you started to fall for him

Thinking the crush would go away you didn’t act much on it

Oh what a fool you were

Around 8th grade yuji had started acting kinda weird around you

He’d be much more easy to fluster and tenses up for a second if you ever make contact

You confronted him about it and cue the very awkward and middle school like confession

“I really like you!

You were so happy you confessed back and said that the only reason you didn’t before was because you feared to ruin your friendship

He says even if he somehow didn’t like you back that something like that wouldn’t effect anything

From then on you guys are such a wholesome couple

All the cuddles

No fancy dates just casual arcade or movie sort of things

His grandpa gave him a hard time but approved of your relationship

Throughout 8th grade summer and the beginning of highschool everything was going great

But a few months into highschool lots of things happened

Yuji’s grandpa had passed away, he and his friends in the exorcist(?) club had gotten hurt and after that night he had weird markings on his cheeks right below his eyes

And to top it all off now he was supposedly moving to tokyo??

“Yuji why are you moving away? My parents would gladly take you in you know”

He tells you he can’t explain why which breaks your heart

“Who are you staying with then??” he stops for a second and it pains him to lie to you. “A distant relative of mine, he works at a private school and thats where i will be going from now on.”

“But what about us?”

And so you guys decided to do a long distance relationship

Every night when you can you call and chat for hours

But thats not enough

You want to be held or hold him, you want to just cuddle or atleast be in the same room

It pains you to have a relationship through a screen and you grow respect for those who do

Trust isn’t an issue since you know yuji wouldnt even think to cheat at all

Probably doesnt even know what the word means

But after a few months you decide to go to tokyo for a few days

With the help of your parents you rent a room in a hotel and head there

Were just gonna pretend your parents are super super chill(and slightly uncaring like my parents would never let me) and lets you go to a whole city by yourself for several nights

You were super nervous and excited

Its your first time visiting a huge city like tokyo and its gonna be the first time you see yuji in months

Itadori was super excited that you were in tokyo

So excited that he got lost trying to head to the hotel you were staying at

After an extra hour you guys finally meet

He walks through the hotel lobby doors and gives a smile and a wave

In an instant you tackle him in a hug which he GLADLY hugs back in

After just holding each other for a while he decides to show you around

Hes still clearly learning the area himself but he’s very excited to show what he does know

“The place over here makes amazing sushi! Oh! And over here they sell little action figures! Oh oh and over here the steak is kinda bad but its cheap so its worth it! And-” you could only smile as he pointed in random directions with one hand, the other was busy holding yours

Buying food from a bunch of random vendors and wearing silly getups you guys take loads of pictures

Tons of hugs and cheek kisses

Yes its frowned upon to be touchy and stuff in public in japan but honestly you guys could care less

The sun was setting and you guys were currently sitting at a park munchkin on some crepes when you turn to him

“Yuji, do you think i could visit who your staying with? I’d hate to impose but i just wanna know if your in good hands”

His chewing pauses

Its not like he didn’t want you tell about jujutsu

But he doesn’t want you to be apart of that world, he wants you to stay as safe as possible with no harm ever headed your ways

With him being a vessel for sukuna gojo had told him that he and his friends could potentially be targeted

Theres a reason sorceres put up cloaks when engaging in battles and its so normal civilians can continue living in peace without the knowledge these monstrosities actually exist

“Mm its a bit sudden and he’s out on a mis-er meeting right now so maybe tomorrow?” he says

You frown, you can tell he’s lying but he wouldn’t do it without a reason

“Fine. But Yuji. Just know that if you ever feel unsafe or want to come back your more than welcome too. There will always be a spot for you at my home” you say hugging him

You both kinda forgot you were holding crepes and when you pulled away from each other laughed as the ice cream and sauce was smeared all over your shirts/jackets

He walks you back to the hotel and says goodnight with a kiss

The next two days went by in a flash

Just spending time with itadori, even if it was just sitting in silence has been the most fun youve had in months

He had showed you many places and has boughten many small trinkets for you to remember

Your phone has grown about 300 photos just from the past couple days with him

It was about midday of your final day in tokyo and so you both wanted to make the best of it

You both where sitting inside a cafe exchanging stories and just chatting when suddenly two people walked in the cafe

One was very tall and had spiked up white hair and was wearing a blindfold, and the other had spiky/messy black hair

You didn’t think much of it at first but did question the blindfold

‘A fashion choice?’

Turning your attention back to yuji you gave him a soft smile as you listened to his ramblings about a manga

“I love you” you said cutting him off

Immediately his face turned red and whatever he was just saying turned into stuttering nonsense

Before he could respond he let out a short yell when someone placed a hand on his shoulder

It was the two dudes who walked in from earlier

“So this is what you’ve been doing.” “Fushiguro! Gojo sensei!”

The shorter one who looks yuji’s age started talking about how it wasn’t good to turn his phone on mute and go out the whole day

The tall one gives you a wave

“Sorry to interrupt your date but we gotta take yuji away for a bit” he says grabbing yuji’s collar

“Wait who are you guys?” you ask and they pause to give short introductions

“Fushiguro Megumi.” “Gojo Satoru, nice to meet ya miss girlfriend” “How did you know??” Yuji says making gojo laugh

“Its pretty obvious, you didn’t do much of a job hiding it” he says pulling yuji a little bit more.

“O-Oh im L/n Y/n, nice to meet you” you say realizing you forgot to introduce yourself

As the three chatted along with each other, you sat in silence as you tried to remember where you heard gojo’s name from

‘Oh yeah, he’s the one who yuji described as his relative. Even if it was really fast since he tends to change subjects whenever i ask’

“Wait Gojo? White hair...blind fold..are you Yuji’s relative?” you ask making both of them pause

They both turn towards yuji who gave a sheepish smile

“Thats me, im his mothers little cousin” Gojo said, a very quick and random asspull

“So why does he call you Gojo-sensei instead of uncle…Satoru?” “Well if im his moms cousin that would make me his cousin once removed wouldn’t it? And he calls me sensei since im a teacher at a school he goes to”

“And what about you?” you ask the other boy

“A classmate.” he says in a very short and uninterested tone

“Welp lets go” Gojo says dragging yuji but he quickly resists

“Wait wait! Sensei can i please stay? Today is her last day here and i don’t know when i will be able to see her again”

The teacher and student stares at each other for a long time

You have literally no clue what the blindfolded man could but thinking its so hard to read him

Then again you just met him so

Gojo sighs and lets go of yuji

“Just this once, and only because im the greatest sensei you’ve ever had. Lets go megumi. See ya miss girlfriend” gojo says walking away with a wave

Megumi looks surprised but follows him “really?” “Yeah yeah its fine, its only a couple of grade 3’s anywa…” as their voices faded when they left the building you gave yuji a look

“Are you going to get in trouble?” “im probably going to die in training…” “huh?” “nothin”

The rest of the day you guys hang out and its mmm

Yuji would be such a good boyfriend hes so wholesome

When its time for you to part he give you a big hug, kiss and ‘i love you’

You do the same and tear up a bit

With one final photo you head back to your home town

You make it a mission to visit tokyo more often and yuji tries to visit you whenever he can from then on

#itadori yuji x reader #itadori yuji #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #i swear if the tags dont work imma be really annoyed lmao #jjk x reader

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qwertyfingers · 3 years

Text

suicide tw i guess sorry i just need to. say things and not have a real conversation but how the fuck am i supposed to get out of this state of mind rn when im in thjs much pain literally nothing is helping at all. even if i wasnt also strugglign mentally for other reasons this would be insane to deal with. its been 10 fucking years of just eternal decline the pain gets worse and worse im developing increasingly dangerous symptoms i literally *physically* on a chemical level can't get anywhere close to a healthy amount of sleep because everything is so fucked up in my brain. 3-5 nights a week i cant even lie down all the way because the pain gets worse because the pressures so bad and no one can help me no one can improve any of this even a little bit. maybe i get lucky and in 6-9 months time the new injection reduces the symptoms enough to get back to my previous level of disability where i [checks notes] uh 'still cant function in a basic way but at least get more than 2-3 hours of lucidity per day' and thats maybe 60% likely. 40% chance it has little-no effect and the nhs refuses to fund it long term and my literal last hope for any relief from this hell is lost. and i cant even bring myself to be hopeful about the medication working because i have lost all sense of optimism or belief in my own body and dont know that ill ever get it back. given the symptoms and my dad getting diagnosed with the same thing theres close to 100% certainty my migraines are literally just a result of spinal instability in my neck that could be fixed surgically but its literally impossible to get in the uk and the sums of money needed even just to get assessed are so astronomical it will literally never happen. i cant do this for the rest of my life! i cant spend 30-40-50-however many years exhausted and distraught and in agony with absolutely no reprieve or hope or change. whats the point! what do i have to live for? media consumption? i cant even hold a conversation online about things i like anymore. when was the last time i managed to reply more than 2-3 times before the conversation fizzled out or i got too sick to be online or i forgot i was talking at all and just disappeared. i will never be able to go back to school i will never have any kind of work that fulfils me in any way. ill probably never regain my ability to read even close to as well as before. my drawing ability will keep deteriorating and ive already lost all patience and affection for the process of making art in any form. ill never be able to regularly do the things i used to love like hike and play team sports and act on stage. ill never get back my mathematical ability ill never get to study physics like i wanted ill keep losing parts of myself by inches and miles every time something in my body deteriorates. i lost everything i cared about at 16 and the only thing that kept me alive was my hope that i could recover some semblance of it, and then i almost died a few dozen times and my hope wavered but at least i had my fucking stubbornness and now i dont rven have that. i have no spite or rage or tenacity or ferocious desire to prove myself against all the odds anymore im just tired. physically mentally spiritually its all just over and done i got nothing left to give to this fight now. what is the point of suffering through it all if the struggle is so utterly painfully meaningless.

#suicide tw and discussions of medical shit this is a deepky depressing post lol. bye

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reject-princess97 · 4 years

Text

Jay Halstead 2 (part 2)

5pm soon rolled around and Kim and I had to start getting ready. We walked out into what we called wardrobe.

"So, what do you think I should wear?" Kim asked, flipping through the few outfits.

"Well, it's a club, so, that red dress, those black studded stilettos and that leather jacket." I pointed out as I searched.

I wasn't one for dresses so I chose a pair of black sequin short shorts, a loose fitting lace top that showed just enough cleavage. I slipped on a pair of black strappy shoes and what ever lose, low hanging jewellery I could find.

Once hair and make up were done Kim and I headed out to see Jay and Ruzek waiting, both dressed up.

"Wow, look at you too." Ruzek grinned. Jay stood speechless for a second before regaining his composure and stepped forward.

"You ladies ready?" He asked, holding his arm out, which I took.

"Double dating with S/N." Ruzek called as we all head back to the bullpen to meet Voight, Dawson and Atwater.

"I will kill you Ruzek, just know that."

Everyone in the room laughed as Ruzek winked at me.

Once Voight had briefed us on the job we all left, heading to our posts.

It was a few hours later and Jay and I we stood in a concealed ally way, around the side of the bar. Out of sight, incase we bump into Jordan.

I lent across the wall, playing with my ring when a voice rang through my ear.

"Y/L/N, Halstead, Jordan is heading straight for you get out of there." Voight ordered.

"Yes boss." I whispered into my coma but looking around the corner I noticed our suspect walking towards us. There was not time to move so thinking quick on my feet I grabbed Jay.

"Kiss me, quick!" I whispered. Before Jay could say anything, I pulled Jay into me and kissed him. At first Jay stiffened against me but after a second he relaxed into our embrace and kissed me back, pushing me against the wall.

The kiss was urgent and filled with...something I couldn't quite figure it out.

We stayed like this until I heard a voice chuckle.

"Huh, young love. Theres nothing like it." I pushed Jay away quickly and faked embarrassment as I looked at our suspect.

"I'm sorry, 1 year anniversary." I lied, well, it wasn't exactly a lie, today really was a year since we got together. The man only smiled and wished us luck before he kept walking. I watched, as the man who killed the only family I had, turned back a little to look back at me and I felt my heart stop as he stopped dead and turn his whole body around, looking straight at me, a sickening smile in his face.

"Miss Y/L/N...I hardly recognizes you." He smirked after a minute or so.

"What's it been? Ten Years?" He fished and I shrugged.

"Something like that, yeah." I growled. My eyes fixed in him as he took a step forward.

"Wow, to think, I thought you were dead." He laughed evilly.

"No, I just got a job, putting scum like you away." I growled.

I saw Jay step in front of me, putting himself inbetween Frank and I.

"Y/L/N, keep your distance, don't react, it's what he wants." Burgess reminded me and I took a deep breath.

"It was such a shame about your sister, she seemed like such a nice girl." The mob boss smirked and I felt my finger twitch, ready to reach for my gun.

"Y/N, don't." Voight warned in my coma and I felt Jay teach back and take my hand. Frank seemed to notice this too because he smirked.

"I see you got more than just a cop badge going for here in Chicago." I stayed quiet, glaring at the man in front of me.

"How long has it been, huh Y/N?" He grinned. I once again found myself speechless out of anger and when I saw him reach for his gun I stairred, wide eyed.

"I asked you a question, Y/N?" He growled, pointing the gun at me. I watched with wide eyes as he moved the gun to Jay.

"10 years, 10 years today" I squeaked out, trying to move myself in front of Jay but Frank shook his head at this.

"No, you stay right where you are or I'll shoot him." He warned.

"Now, you are going to stay still, and let me go, if you don't I will kill your boyfriend." He told me as he began to step backwards. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Burgess and Ruzek walk out of the bar, guns raised. Frank seemed to notice this too because the next thing I know there was a deafening gunshot and Jay fell to the floor.

"Jay!" I yelled, falling to my knees. I leaned over Jay to get a better look, but I was to upset to really see anything wrong, but when I noticed his eyes shut i felt myself begin to shake.

"Jay, come you need to wake up. You can't leave me like this, I need you." I cried as I put my hand over his wound and applied pressure to stop the bleeding.

"Y/L/N!" I heard a voice call but it was to late. I hear a bang and I felt this unruly amount of pain pierce my stomach. Then everything went black as I hunched over Jay, my own blood mixing with his.

*Three days later*

Everything was pitch black, nothing could be heard except the sound of the most annoying beeping sound I had ever heard.

"Can someone please turn of that god awful beeping, it's giving me a head ache." I groaned, opening my eyes a little to find the brightest light imaginable shining down over me.

"Sorry, Y/N, no can do." I heard a familiar voice chuckle. I looked over to see Ruzek sat grinning at me in the chair.

"Ugh, I knew it. I died and now I'm in hell?" I groaned as I sat up a little, stopping when I felt pain flash over my body.

"OK, hurtful." Ruzek gasped as he set down his phone and stood up. "I'm gonna assume that was the meds talking and that you are actually happy to see my face." He grinned and I tried to shrug.

"Assume away." He smiled, raising his thumbs up before he walked out of the room. Entering again a couple minutes later with Will, my soon-to-be brother-in-law.

"Well hello Dr Handsome." I grinned lazily as he entered the room. He let out a chuckle as he began looking over my chart.

"How you doing there Detective Short stack?"

"A little offended if I'm being honest, I call you handsome, you call me short...what kind of love is that?" I joked.

"Brotherly love at its finest." He answered. Then his face seemed to drop a little and I knew it wasn't great.

"So, what's the diagnosis Doc?" I sighed, letting my silly mood be washed away by the reminded I was in hospital.

"Actually, everything looks good, there were a few complications in the surgery, hence the three day nap. But everything is looking good." He smiled, sitting on the edge of my bed. He looked over me, shining a torch in my eyes, checking reflexes. He seemed happy with my tests because he stood up and began to walk out.

"Will..?" I began but he turned around and nodded.

"I'll have him brought in, he's been bugging me to let him see you for two days straight."

"Aww, I knew he loved me." I grinned, my joking nature coming back. Once Will was out of the room Ruzek came and sat on my bed. I looked up at him, one eye brow raised as he watched me.

"He loves you huh?" He grinned. "And I didn't miss Dr Halstead's 'brotherly love' comment."

"Yes, Will and I like to make jokes like that, since his is like a big brother to me." I tried to cover but Ruzek only shook his head.

"Or you and Jay have been dating for the last two years and recently got engaged so Will is infact going to be your big brother."

"Or that...that sounds right." I chuckled. "How did you know?"

"Jay told me, after he woke up he was really worried, but you had be taken I to another surgery so Kim and I tried to keep him preoccupied. He ended up telling us everything." He explained.

I was about to say something else, maybe something along the lines of I'm sorry, but I didn't get the chance because there was a knock at the door and in walked Jay and Burgess.

When Jay saw me sitting up he seemed to our two friends in the room and rush over to my bed, pulling me into a soft, sweet kiss.

"You're awake." He murmured into my lips and I chuckled, nodding. "I was so freaking scared, you have no idea." He sighed, pulling away, but only a little as he rest his forehead against mine.

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wayward-mikaelson · 4 years

Text

Centuries-Five

Word Count: 2673

Pairing: None

Characters: Dean, Sam, Hezekiah (OG Character-I picture him like the dude who played Laurent in Twilight and New Moon), Reader, Rowena (Known in this chapter as ‘certain witch’), Michael (Mentioned), Maggie (Mentioned), HooDoo Zombies (not sure if that’s a thing but in this world it is), HooDoo Priestess (Mentioned)

About: Dean worries that he hasn’t heard from the Reader in a week. The Reader has stumbled upon a case that has a whole town trapped not knowing what day it is. The Reader breaks free and finds herself back in Texas and face to face with Hezekiah.

Disclaimer: Language and Angst

A/N: If you are on my tag list and wish to be moved off or to different tag list let me know.

A/N 2: Tag or share to all your favorite SPN Accounts

Forever Tag List: @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @magssteenkamp @elansaidaris @440mxs-wife @hobby27

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*18+ CONTENT. ANYONE YOUNGER THAN THAT WILL NEED TO MOVE ALONG. I DO NOT WANT TO RISK MY ACCOUNT BEING THANOSED.

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Centuries Master List HERE

Want to read some of my favorite fanfics click HERE

DEANS POV

"It's been a fucking week, man," I pace the kitchen holding the cup of coffee Sam gave to me. "I haven't heard from her since I called her that night." I set the cup down and rub my face.

That phone still plays in my mind. I get why YN left, I really do, but I had just gotten her back myself. I wanted more time with YN before she pulled something like this. I knew her would too. When I pleaded with YN to come back she told me she had to do this alone. She didn't want me near Michael at all. Hell, I didn't want him to come back but things kind of changed but I wanted to do this with you. Then YN said "What if I wanted Michael back because a part of me loved him? I don't want you near if that's the case. I'll call you when I can, Dean."

I hate that YN had some weird ass connection with the archangel that took his body for a joy ride. That used it to stab her. To hurt her. That used it to manipulate her to do his bidding. That used some dream to get into her pants. I shiver remembering when I found out that she and Michael had dream sex. Something that Cas told us that even though in a dream, it was real. That used it to get her killed. I just can't get on bored with YN being in love with him. I just didn't believe her and I knew she would say what ever she needed to keep me out of whatever it is she are doing.

"I'm sure she will call when she calls," Sams doesn't look up from his laptop. "Last I check her phones tracker was lost somewhere outside of New Orleans."

I look up from my coffee. "Why are you tracking her?" Then it hits me, Sam knows. YN told him she killed Maggie. "Dude, if you even think about going after her, I won't hesitate to kick your ass."

Sams looks up and I see the pain and anger in his eyes. I feel for my baby brother, I really do, but I can't let him go after YN. Sam doesn't know how freaked out she had been learning she did kill her best friend. Sam doesn't know how she hid from him in her room. "I'm not going to lie, Dean," Sam closes his laptop. "It crossed my mind a few times this last week but I just know I can't. For all we know Hezekiah, the angel that has her mind on lockdown, could have pulled the strings on this and manipulated her like Michael had."

"Then why are you tracking her still?" I ask firmly. "If you aren't planning on going after her."

Sam leans back and takes a deep breath. "I guess to make sure she's okay, since she hasn't called at all."

I sit back and let out he breath I held in. I know Sam is hurting. I've been in his place where the girl I love has died. Maybe we can find a way to bring Maggie back. I can call Rowena, but she always has some sort of condition. "You said she was somewhere outside of New Orelans?"

"Yep," Sam nods. "Then her tracker literally just fell off the face of the earth. I should also mention I did try to call her but her phone is also out of service when the account says it's still in service."

My heart just barely stops. I know she's in trouble. I get up and make my way to my room to pack. "We should go look for her," I yell towards Sam.

"I know, and she will kill you knowing you didn't listen to her," Sam yells back. It sounds like he's in his room as well packing. Even though YN killed Sam's potential love, he still cared for her. He is still looking on the bright side of all of this.

As I'm throwing things into a bag my phone rings. I look down to see an unknown number. Not many people have this number but it could be someone needing help. I reach down and something tells me that I need to answer this.

"Hello?" my voice is cautious.

"Dean?! Oh thank God!" YNs voice sounds freaked out and out of breath. "How long has it been?"

"Wait, what? Why?" I ask confused.

"I don't have time," she yelled into the phone. I stop what I'm doing and turn around to see Sam in the doorway. I mouth to him that its YN on the line. His face is covered in worry. "Tell me how long it's fucking been since we last talked!"

"A week," I'm suddenly aware of the pounding in the distance over the phone. "Is everything okay? Are you okay? Whats going on?"

I hear some shuffling and banging around. "I accidentally stumbled on a case that involves some dark and heavy hoodoo. What's been a week for you has been only a day for me. I tried to call but my phone wouldn't work. I couldn't even leave either. I killed the witch or hoodoo priestess or whatever the hell you want to call her but when I did, the town folk turned to zombies. Now I'm trapped in a room with the only working phone in town."

I zip up my bag and signal Sam that we were leaving. "Honey, where are you? Sam tracked your phones last ping outside of New Orleans. We are on our way. Just hang tight."

YN gives a small chuckle. "Of course, one of you tracked me. And yes, theres a small town outside of New Orleans but it's not on a map. But I got this Dean, you stay where you are. Theres a window I can jump out of and high tail it to my car. All the magical bearers are gone now that the hoodoo chick is dead."

The sound of banging and wood breaking kills the call. "YN?" I try to call the number back but it's dead. I look at Sam and he sees the fear written all over my face

"I'm assuming we're still going?"

"You bet your ass we are," I turn the key in the ignition and we are on the road in seconds.

DEANS POV OVER

The line is dead.

A few hoodoo zombies stumble into the room. I throw the phone aside and eye the window thats a few feet from me. This is going to hurt like hell, I think as I take a couple steps backward to get a good running start.

"This window better already have a weak spot," I mumble as I run towards it.

Taking a leap towards the window, I break through landing on a dirt and broken glass. A few shards of glass pierce my skin but I don't care. I get up and make a bee line for my car. Only to be stopped by a few hoodoo zombies. I then notice that the one trying to eat my face off has a familiar necklace on to the one of the hoodoo priestess. I yank it off and kick the thing off of me and break the crystal-glass thing to the ground. A faint glow comes from it and breaks into several tiny specks of light and going after the hoodoo zombies. Once the light touches them they all drop like flies.

"Huh," I then grab my side. I look down and see a shard of glass sticking out of my side. I know I shouldn't pull it out but I needed to. I limp over to my car and throw open the trunk where I know there is a first aid kit. I bite my lip and slowly pull out the glass. A small whimper escaping my lips.

I toss the glass to the ground and quickly cover up the already bleeding wound. I take my flannel and cut off a long piece and tightly tie it around myself. Maybe I can talk Hezekiah into healing it. I painfully get into my car and pull my phone out of the glove compartment. The battery is suddenly charged and there's service.

I dial up Deans number and press send.

"YN?!" Deans voice sounds so excited. "Oh thank God. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I get the car on the road and speed out of town. Not evening caring to look back. "I have a bumps and cuts. The Hoodoo zombies are all dead. Apparently there was a necklace that held some sort of light thing that killed them when I broke it. Similar to how I killed the hoodoo chick."

Dean sighs on the other end. "That's good. Sam and I can finally have a good night in."

"Dean," I know hes on the road. He can't hid that from me. "how far are you out of Lebanon?" Dean's silent. "Dean, don't forget I know you really well. Anyone in danger that you care about, you drop everything and race towards them."

"About an hour," Deans voice is firm and deep. "I just couldn't live with myself if I just sat back and let you die. Again."

I close my eyes. Maybe taking off was a bad idea. Maybe I should have done this with Dean. "Whatever happened in that field was not your fault. You had zero control over it. Michael hijacked your body."

I can picture Dean licking his lips and staring out the front of the impala. "Right, anyway, where are you headed?"

Right, of course he doesn't want to speak about it. According to Cas, it's too much for him. Michael is a sore spot for him. But what they all don't know, Michael is also a sore spot for me too. Despite everything I've done. The only reason I would want him back is to beat the living shit out of him.

I think back to the last words I said before this whole thing happened. I told him 'what if I wanted Michael back because a part of me loved him?' I shouldn't have said that. I even wonder why I even did say that. Yes I have or had some feelings towards the archangel. Hell, he was incredible at making love to me, almost as good as Dean. I push it aside.

"I have a feeling about Texas," I tell him. "I feel like I've driven this road before. Just keep an eye on me if you don't hear from me."

"Sounds perfect, we will make our way there then," Dean is quiet for a second. "YN, I love you. Whatever happens and whatever you find out once your memories are back, just know that. I will always be here for you. Hell, I will die for you if I have to."

I drive all night and end up in Corpus Christi early morning. I don't know why I am here, but I know I am in the right place. I send a quick text to Dean telling him where I ended up and to tell me to call me when he's at a motel. I stare at the beach in front of me and feel a pull on the mark on my side. Which reminds me that I never asked Cas to look deeper into that mark. Too late for that.

I get out and walk the beach. The pull on my mark is strong. I look up and down the beach and my eyes land on a light blue beach house. I've been there before. I walk back to my car and drive towards the blue beach house. It's not the same place I walked out of before I killed Maggie. Maybe we changed location. I don't know, But I will find out.

I get out of the car and pull out my gun. I make sure it's loaded, you know just in case I need to stun the angel. I slowly and cautiously walk up to the door. I go to knock but then I slowly put my hand on the door knob. I slowly open the door and slip inside. Dean would be pissed for doing this part alone but, I need to know if the dick face angel is in here.

The house is spotless. Almost like no one has lived in it for sometime. It's also quiet. I poke around rooms and find nothing. Then I come upon a locked room. I look around the small hallway for a key until something hit me. I sweep my hand over the top of the door frame and feel a small objet. I take it down and see that it's a small key like thing. I use it to unlock the door.

I see a room that looks like I could have slept here. The bed is all messed up. Theres clothes thrown all over the place. I guess I didn't care about what my room looked like then. I pick up the clothes and stash them all in the hamper near the closet. Something tells me that I needed to open the closet.

I am not prepared for what I see in there. There are papers taped and pinned to the walls. A list of things that make me tear up. Maggies name is on that list along with the words HAIR FROM DEAN. It's crossed out so I must have gotten it from him without him knowing. There are pages from a book about how to create a vessel without really having a body.

"What the hell did I get myself into?" I ask myself.

"I was wondering when you would come back," a voice startles me. I turn around and see a dark skinned man with dreads in the door way. "I see that wall has been activated too. So how did you find your way back if you're memory is gone."

I watch as he walked a few steps into the room. He spots the gun in my hand. "I'm assuming that you're Hezekiah," I say staying where I stood. "According to Cas, there are some holes and cracks in the wall. Could explain why I was able to find this place. He was also able to pull out one memory from me. Maggie."

"Ah, yes, the girl from Michael's world," Hezekiah smirked. "As I recall you didn't have much regret for it. You really really wanted to see Michael. Well," Hezekiahs smirk got bigger. "That's what I made you think when I brought back and refused to do what I needed." Hezekiah must have seen the look on my face. "Yep that's right, when I brought you back, with a little help from a certain witch, you flat out refused to help me get Michael back. Told me and I quote 'go die in a ditch you self righteous spineless dickless asshole.' So I toyed with your mind some and now we are closer than ever."

Fuck, I think. "So not only did you throw up a wall to cover your ass, which you did a piss poor job by the way, you messed with my mind to get you to bring back Michael. For what? Control? Power?"

"To rule Heaven, along side him," Hezekiah raises his voice. "Once he's back and finishes what he started, I can kill him and rule Heaven. With you by my side of course." He takes a few more steps towards me. What was it with angels want to rule heaven with me by their side.

"Okay, I'll continue to help, but first," I holster my gun. I know that if I don't go along with this I will die. I need to play along. "Give me my memories back."

Hezekiah looks me up and down trying to get a read on me. "You're still very hard to read." He closes the space between us. He smiles wickedly as he touches my forehead. Dean is going to be so fucking pissed.

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

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Episode 5 | “Wish me luck America” - Dan

I wanted a swap, i practically BEGGED for one because i was ready to cause chaos, so i swap happens .... but its NOT good for me whatsoever because all the people i wanted to flip on and get out somehow end up on the other tribe, and to make it even better, what sole beauty do i get stuck with? connor. yet ANOTHER person lying to my face STILL TELLING ME I WASNT A VOTE OPTION...... just another fool on the list of fools who think IM the fool so this is an interesting dynamic, 4 original brawn, 2 brain, 2 beauty. off the bat it looks like those 4 brawn could be solid, so ive already been working to talk to the brains tribe during the one world twist, so being with autumn and duncan could potentially be good for me, obviously i dont know how theyre feeling but in a perfect world i want to allign with the brains. As much as i would love to vote out connor right away just to send a big old middle finger to the alliance that included him over me in it, but im not sure that can happen. My only hope right now is that there's a crack within the brawn, if there is i can try and get in good with connor to maybe see about uniting with the brains and taking out a brawn, even if it meant 4-4 and going to rocks, im here to play so id absolutely do that. If the brawns arent that tight however, and i can just flip one to want to work with me, i can use that as an opportunity to start a new alliance maybe with the brains and a brawn to vote out connor/anyone else not in our numbers, not sure yet, theres so many scenerios game wise but i think especially in the last 24 hours ive talked a lot of game with people, so i need to calm down on that and get back to personal conversations to try and estabilish trust with anyone i might need down the line, if we even go to tribal which im hoping we just dont, because then not only am i safe, but i get to hopefully see someone on the other side go home, and i would love for it to be one of the frauds amir, augusto, or kendall. but its also terrifying since connor is such a wild card like what if he flipped to the brauns or the brains linked up with the brawn to pick me off? basically if im gonna survive this swap, i need a little bit of luck, a little bit more strategy, and some more connections to get me through, i thought thats what i was doing before though and it clearly didnt work too well so buckle the fuck up because i have no idea where we go from here

lmao remember a few hours ago when i said i hated this swap because it didnt give me much opportunity? well little did i know was all i had to do was bat my eyes a little and opportunity appeared right before me! meaning that, ive been trying to talk to and connect with some of these new people, ive had decent talks with liam and ali mostly, and i was trying to keep game talk minimal up until LIAM out of no where says to me, "oh i just realized someone on this tribe voted me out in a past game and i voted him out" so BITCH the second he says this all sorts of bells and buzzers are going off in my head like spill the tea i need to know!! and what does he say?? it's CONNOR. BITCH cue the choir and let the angels descend from above because im in HEAVEN hearing this!!! there's 16 people left and while i really think we have a strong tribe to win challenges so we may never go to tribal, if we do ive already begun shoving connor so far under the bus there wont be any time for him to get up by the time he realizes what hit him. I'm giving you Miss Rosa in orange is the new black running over Vee REALNESS SWEETIE. VROOM VROOM WATCH OUT BECAUSE HERE I COME. My favorite quote of all time is: the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and that's absolutely what ive been playing up here whether i can actually trust these brawns or not is beside the point, because right now i know for a fact i cant trust connor, he's still lying to me telling me i was never a target, so i have no use or even want to play with someone who thinks im an idiot. On a tribe of 8 you only need 5, and i am absolutely not opposed to setting myself up to be in a position where im the swing vote, if i make sure the brawns feel like they need me, and same with the brains, then i should be essentially... ok? until a merge??? maybe unless everyone here is lying to me too, most likely because im not a good player so im probably being duped dfhkasj I've also been working hard to try and let people in on the narrative that the beautys have this majority alliance and are a threat, because i want to do as much as i can to put a target on their back and get them out, while also opening up to hopefully let people know they can trust me, and i want people to still think im weak so im also going for that pity card playing it up how no one over there would talk to me and saying how bad it was, i shouldve watched what i said though because i did foolishly let Ali know about the tomb and how to crack it, i didnt mean to and i wasnt thinking we were just having such a good convo and while i do like talking to him, i have no idea if i can trust him with that so great job at my dumbass for giving myself more competiion in the tomb .... i went back in tonight and ill be damned there's new questions so i SHOULDVE kept my lips shut and i couldve had it to myself, but whatever, at least if he finds it he remembers who led him there, i also dont want to rely on any idols or advantages, let's do this the old school way and get shit done, and get these people out of here, one false beauty at a time, until im the last one standing!! and aj... we still trust aj he can stay, but the rest they can go and then they can lemme know how that alliance works out for them.

Woooo! I made it to the swap!!! My swapped tribe is actually pretty cute bc it’s a lot of the people I really talked with during the chaos round. I am concerned about the 4-2-2 split we have being an issue, but I have to trust my new former relationships will at least make me not the first person targeted. I’m so relieved to be swapped with Jakey because Jordan and Ali are definitely scary players and having them on the other side with the potential of being voted out (and not having to do it myself later) is honestly good. Jakey is more of a MOTR player and someone who I actually enjoy talking to about game and non game stuff so I’m excited to hopefully position him as my number 1 in this game. With all THAT being said.... Devon and I have played before and I literally blindsided him while working with him so I’m worried about that. My other concern is that me and Amir go way back... I love Amir, I’m just nervous about his ability as a game player. I’m just praying that we can win some comps in the swap so I don’t need to address any of these issues fksmjsjsjs. Wish me luck America.

the way i'm going to be the last person in the challenge who determines the tiebreak... which could keep me safe but seal jakey's fate... god this is so upsettingggg

I meant to do this earlier, but quick recap on my thoughts on the tribe swap. First, I'm elated to see that I have a majority of the Brawn on this tribe. I have Jordan who I'm closely aligned with, and I have both Liam and Ali who I've been working with and have a good game relationship with. That's where my initial excitement ended. Because the Brains and Beauty who I talked to the most during the One World Day - Devon, Scott, Kendall, Augusto - all ended up on the other tribe rather with my closest ally in Jakey whereas I got two Beauty who I hadn't talked to and two Brain who, while I was optimistic about, were more concerning in terms of their thoughts about me. But I'm going back to that social game I've been working on and I truly think that this swap is going to work well for me. I think I've specifically been building some good relationships with Adam and Duncan that will help me not be the target if a Brain/Beauty coalition forms. But now I just need to see if I can get through this damn tomb and go from there.

Whew! It's been a few days since I made one of these and boy do I have a lot of tea to spill! So after voting out Devon, a twisto's twist comes into play where we all go to one world and vote someone back into the game. I lowkey had a feeling this would happen... Like I really spent all day getting the HIGHEST score in that immunity challenge only for Devon to get voted back in 15-0-0. Nothing really important happened here except that Austin did a shitty campaign job and Lovelis just.. disappeared. Like bruh, you really don't want to come back huh? And then we swap tribes and of course I'm stuck on Thoth AGAIN!! I've accepted that I'm cursed this time around because I... am tired of being here. But, Duncan and Autumn are on the other tribe so this gives me a good opportunity to not only rebuild my relationship with Devon, but to make new allies moving forward. Personally, I think I need to cut ties with Duncan and Autumn and find new life. I realize that they are much closer to each other than they are to me and I can't work with that long term. The way they approached Devon for his vote out really proved it too. When it comes to rebuilding my relationship with Devon, I'm not gonna lie it's much more difficult than I thought it would be. Like I basically told him that the reason why I voted him out was because he snitched on me to Duncan and told Duncan everything I said to him on our call. I basically said I was hurt by that because I trusted him and then he went behind my back like that and it wasn't cool. Especially since i was considering letting it go to a tiebreaker challenge too! So then he tried to phrase it as "I would never lie to you, I had your back all the way to the end" and I'm kinda just like... okay but your actions speaks louder than your words. And you taking the action to approach Duncan and tell him everything I said to you wasn't cool. However I made it very evident that Duncan/Autumn are much closer then we thought and i think he gets it. I've slowly come to realize that he's the perfect goat to take to the end because he really lacks at the relationship building portion of the game. However, I need to be able to trust my goats and right now I don't trust Devon. He told me about the idol as a sign of trust, however he hasn't found the blog yet. (backtrack, Duncan shared the blog with me so I've been idol hunting, and now I'm just telling people I had no idea when they ask me about it LOL). So I might tell Devon I found the combination, but at the same time do I want him to have the idol? Not at all! I'm happy that this swap brings me to a lot of people that I can potentially work with. I know that Duncan and Autumn originally wanted to work with beauty to take out brawn, so I'm really happy that I have 4 beauties on my tribe. Out of the beautes, I really like Augusto, Amir, and Kendall. AJ hasn't spoken to me at all tbh... like we barely talked. Kendall and I talk briefly but she told me straight up that her/Amir/Augusto were a trio and that definitely doesn't make me feel comfortable. I'm just like "okay, let's leave this thought in the back of my mind for later." But I've spent a lot of time talking to Amir and Augusto, and I can see myself working with them long term. Augusto and I called for like a whole hour and a half, which is beautiful that we got along well so quickly. I like how they both plan to keep their word and don't like to make fake promises. It shows that they're genuinely good people and I think they're my kind of crowd. So I definitely want to work with them through the merge. I also wouldn't mind going to the end with Augusto too (Amir already won so I don't want to make that promise to him LOL). When it comes to the brawn, I gel most with Jakey. I would go to consider him my new #1 right now. I don't think I ever had a #1 on old Thoth mainly because Duncan/Autumn were so close and Devon is just.... being Devon. Jakey told me about the idol stuff which is great! Personally, I already knew about the idol, but to pretend to be shocked by it and go forward with it was the best move for me. But Jakey and I seem to be the smartest and most focused people here, so I need that. He gets me and is on my level. I'm considering taking him to the end with me if it comes to that just because I want to be loyal this time around. That's why I'm happy than an alliance of Me/Jakey/Augusto/Amir/Kendall was made because I want to stick with this 5 all the way to the end. And I'm happy to already be in a majority alliance because it means I can potentially get to the merge. I just hope everyone knows that I'm with them and want to stay loyal to them going into the merge. Because I would love to be able to say that I'm 5/5 on making it to the merge. It'd be a shame to end my last tumblr season as a pre-merge boot. In terms of this vote since we lost the challenge AGAIN, I'm open to voting out either AJ, Devon, or Dan. I know people want to keep Devon around I'm happy with that. I'd hate to vote him out again after that last round, but also told people that I would do so if it meant that I would solidify trust with them in doing so. Which leaves us to Dan and AJ. I'm open to either of them going that round, mainly because I haven't spoken to either of them that much. I would perfer AJ just because he's a beauty and I'm skeptical about keeping all of the beauties around. At the same time, Dan can be a little aggressive so I also wouldn't mind getting rid of the negativity within the tribe. So many decision to make!! I just hope I make the right one.

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I take back everything I said about feeling good about the swap. No one is willing to talk about the vote with me so I guess that means it’s me??? I don’t know I’m just not feeling good and my gut is pretty good most of the time so we’ll have to see.... I just like don’t fuck with people who don’t wanna talk?? Like why play???

I am little fucked. Honestly if I was going to get voted out I would like it to be because of my #bigmoves or #smartbrain but nope it's cause of 2 minutes. And that's infuriating! Like I work my ass off in basically every other challenge! I drew the tribe flag, I took the lead on the word puzzle thingy, I got a reasonable number of scavenges!!!! And now I'm going to die. Like a lil bitch. I'm trying my best not to struggle cause voting is like quick sand, the more you panic the more you sink in. But logically I don't have much to worry about. Devon is willing to work with me, I already have two solid allies, and Jakey and Scott have both reached out. But the back of my mind is... bad. I'm so stressed out and Pissy. Fuck Dan. Fuck his stupid face. The only thing keeping me from throwing him out is I don't want people to have the perception that the beauty tribe is a unit. Oh yeah we are voting out AJ even though he probably has an idol which isn't great for me because he could probably get wind of that thing that's happening where people want to kill me and get on board and proceed to kill me. That was a mouthful but I don't have to be eloquent when I'm going to fucking dieeeeeeee. I'm barely holding it together. Help me Survivor Jesus.

Augusto, 1:02 PM K so Dan said that he heard AJ would be a unanimous vote didn’t tell me who but he said that that person could just be projecting what they want Daniel Disbrow go fuck yourself. Projecting my lily white ass.

Whew i love when things work out for me. This tribe swap went great for me. I feel very confident about my position on this tribe. I am good with Ali, Tj, and Liam all through seperate links to myself which im hoping can keep me as a centralized figure on this tribe. Ive formed a very good relationship with Adam so far who definitly feels on the outs of the beauty which is great. I thought i could be good with connor, but hes kind of been blowing me off so idk, he could be a target if we lose. As for the brains on my tribe Im talking more to duncan than autumn, but im gonna work on forming a stronger relationship with her on the chance were both at merge which i think is likely. I feel bad for Jakey and dan, two people I did want to work with, however I would be okay if they left as it would lesten the target on me at the merge with less brawn numbers and a larger beauty group to be scared of a group against. Sometimes you got to sacrafice pieces in chess and if they lose it sucks but ill move on. Im optimistic about moving forward through this next phase of the game.

wow i cant believe i almost DIDNT make a confessional for this round but here we go: not much more has happened over here since the swap, we absolutely did perfect in the immunity, so we wont be going to tribal, which is cool because im guaranteed safety and now i can just spend my time trying to work on these relationships that i need out here if im gonna make it a couple steps further and plot my revenge against the false beautys and make the moves that are gonna benefit ADAM and no one else. The original night of the swap i found myself having longer convos with the brawns and letting them all in on the tea about how those false beautys have a majority alliance and how they were plotting against me for no reason, so last night i was talking more so with autumn/duncan individually and they also asked about tribe dynamics so guess what, i spilled the tea to them now too, and they seemed to believe what i was saying, which granted, life on old hathor wasnt HORRIBLE it's not like people were like LETS JUST POINT AND LAUGH AT HIM ...but this new tribe dont know all that, so im absolutely going to be hyperbolizing and over-exaggerating the situation completely still because that's what i do best, i have a strong personality and a way with words so if i can paint the narrative to look better in my light, i absolutely am, and i mightve got lucky with connor here because other people are telling me he's hard to talk to, which makes it 10x easier for them to believe me, because i am still telling the truth, he's one of them, and he's clearly a snake lying right to my face so im making sure they know he'll lie to theirs too. i dont want to get to confident with my postion though whatsoever, because these are all good players and im just a dumb bitch so odds are, someone is playing me and i probably look like a fool but whatever, i only know as much as people will tell me so either way i just have to go with the flow in a sense, whether im the one steering the ship or just the clown aboard, is TBD. i also found it QUITE pleasing to see how for the other tribe, kendall is the one who messed up and cost them the win, however i know she's got her little puppets with those other false beautys so im not sure if theyll take her out. Looking at that tribe, id be happy with almost anyone going but the biggest plot twist of them all is ..... i think i want jakey to stay? me and him had a good talk at one world actually, i began planting seeds with both him AND kendall about each other so i might have inadvertently pinned them even more against each other, unless they put 2 and 2 together and realize i was kinda just telling them both what they wanted to hear, i didnt think id want to work with jakey this game but now that i know i cant work with those false beautys, i might need him to stick around and do damage to them over there for me but really, i dont give a shit who goes home from them, aj is the only one of the false beautys im not 100% against yet because he is my friend, and maybe we can still somehow work together from opposing sides to keep each other safe but who knows, and jakey staying would be good for me because he's a threat and potentially could be on my side again (unless he was just lying and wants me out BAD then uh... he can go but hopefully not because i need that group broken up more than i do him gone even if he is after me) im also trying out a new strategy ive never used before........ i made my skype icon a selfie of myself, now let me make it clear, i absolutely DO NOT think im that attractive, years of low self esteem have made that nearly impossible for me to believe, but im starting to feel myself a little!! i think i would give myself at least a 5/10, so its definitely a reach but im really just hoping by seeing the real me maybe that helps people wanna talk and open up to me more? either that or it will do the opposite and scare them away oop. but ive had good responses so far? i got a "whew", a "whoa", and a "oh my..." from different people so um... i think that's good dfhuakj??? at this point in the game, i have to identify my own strengths and weaknesses and go from there, because clearly im not meant to find the idol every time i go to the tomb i flop, im just not meant to be an idol queen, but i wont give up!!! im gonna try again later tonight and hopefully find it, or at least see for sure if someone else has found it and that's what you missed on akhmim! (from my very singular and most likely delusional perspective)

I love Amir and Augusto. Like not to sound like a sentimental little bitch but I would kill for them. I have been the worst these past couple of hours and here they are all supportive and shit. I talk a big game. Like I consistently declare my villainy and keep pushing for #bigmoves but I will literally cry like a baby if I had to ever do anything to them. So I've decided I won't. I still intend on winning, I'm just not going to do it with their blood on my hands.

Well...IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK! I was expecting to 'Slither' my way back in, but clearly didn't imagine myself coming back on a 15-0-0 vote. If you had asked me about who I felt GREAT about prior to the swap, I would have said Jake and Augusto, so it's nice to have them on Thoth with me. Going into the swap, here are the headlines: 1. Scott/I are back on the same tribe. He clearly doesn't trust me like he did before since I told Duncan about me knowing they were targeting me. Can we build that trust back? 2. OG Beauty vs the rest. For some reason, OG beauty is willing to vote out AJ and ease everyone's paranoia. We could have just as easily gotten rid of Dan, but whatever. 3. Alliance chats. I was told that Kendall/Amir/Augusto had an alliance chat, and it doesn't help that apparently Scott hosted Kendall early in her TS career. I need to make sure my connections stay strong enough moving forward

I finally learned the system to find the idol and it’s been found in the new tribe. I really hope Scott takes the time to find the Thoth idol. Firstly May I say the daddies are reborn with Devon being able to re-enter the game which is amazing! Unfortunately we got split up and now they face 4 beauties and 2 brawns on Thoth and autumn and I got to come be on Hathor. Adam spilled the tea about the Hathor 5 and its looking like Conor will be the first out if we end up at a tribal. I’m so happy to be off of Thoth. It was like a sinking ship and that tribe is cursed. On the flip side, for the first time this game, I DONT HAVE TO GO TO TRIBAL COUNCIL!!! YEEEHAW!!! I feel so grateful but also know if they lose 3 challenges then we’re losing Scott or Devon which would be horrible. I don’t know how comfortable I am with my position as it stands but I’m just grateful not to lose and probably feel most bad for Scott. I hope the daddies can survive this swap and perhaps make it back together come merge

I really haven’t said shit huh gfhjdksl WELL, tons happened last round like someone coming back into the game and me getting to meet everyone finally! Devon returning was the best case scenario as him and I created a really weird yet good bond which I’m thankful for! Autumn and I meshed so well, Duncan and I bonded quickly, I also bonded with Scott/Jakey/Dan, and then had good convos with TJ/Liam M/Jordan/Ali so that was cute. We ended up swapping into 2 tribes of 8 afterwards which wasn’t TOO bad especially considering who is on this tribe like I got crazy lucky. We have 4 Beauties, 2 Brain, and 2 Brawn on this tribe and the other tribe has 4 Brawn, 2 Brain, and 2 Beauties which is a thing. But yeah, I have really high hopes? My connections here are strong personally so I want to just build on that.

following the austin #blinside, we were BEANBOOZLED again and told that austin, as well as lovelis and devon would be pining for our votes to stay. all the tribes ended up on one beach but the initiative for the beauties was clear: austin could NOT come back. love him and all but after boldface lying to him and voting him out.. it just doesn't add up, right? so, the vote was really a matter of lovelis and devon, but then it just became of matter of "okay devon's coming back point blank" since lovelis wasn't really active. this didn't stop austin, however, from going around and throwing us under the bus, telling kendall her name was going around, outing the original plan to austin, all the while assuring us he was "beauties strong!" i respect the hustle but it ain't me! i decided not to lie to to him and told him upfront he wasn't getting my vote, little did i know it was going to be 15-0-0 for devon to come back. the perks of the one world twist was the fact i got to mingle with everyone i'd been excited to see from jordan pines to autumn! it was also a clear front for the fact that we'd be swapping right after, which we did! thankfully, the swap worked out for me perfectly. augusto, amir and kendall are all here with me and i got along with devon and jakey great! i also talked to scott and we bonded as well, and dan and i tried to recover from amnesia over a game we played a few years ago. i don't think i was put in a poor position at all, and in a must of confidence, i don't see myself going home like.. at all unless things change for the worse. the challenge came and went, and apparently one mistake cost it all but it didn't really matter to me because i have kendall's back and i know she has mine, so there was no chance i was gonna let her go over some two minute slip up. however, that was enough for dan to target her after we lost the challenge so the sexy procrastinators (basically leaning tower of penis bar connor) are counteracting by voting dan! do i feel bad because dan also asked if we could work together? hell yeah. do i feel REALLY bad? not really! he's a very nice gentleman, however, i'm pretty much on good terms with everyone on the tribe (and have solid allegiances with half of them) so i'm put into a rock and a hard place! i will say though, besides that, things have been really quiet compared to how things were on original hathor. there was always conversation going, even if it wasn't game, so it feels WEIRD when you're not talking to anyone within the hour. does that make me nervous? absolutely. am i assuming that there's an ulterior plot against me? more than i should! i just need to get myself together though and stop freaking out, what happens happens and if the that plot is indeed true then they got me gals!

i’m me having high hopes for our tribes and us losing badly… the delusion! That being said, I oddly feel safe? I have my trio with Amir and Kendall (where I have solid duos with both), a secret duo with Devon, Dan and I have this Seychelles thing going, AJ trusts me I think, and then I’ve connected well with Scott and Jakey on a personal level so that’s fun! I’ve been telling every non-Beauty that I do genuinely want to stray away from playing outside of tribal lines because alliances made out of convenience are not as strong as alliances made out of connection. I just want to pretend myself as a very fluid, easy-going player/person in hopes that these players want to scoop me up for literally anything they want to do. My ideal boot order for this tribe would be AJ, Dan, and Jakey. AJ leaving opens up the game for me as it means I stuck to my word as not wanting to play by tribal lines, Dan leaving is mostly to appease to others but also because Dan could be dangerous later on, and Jakey is who I REALLY want to see leave because he has been the main person who has gotten and spread info on this tribe and he strikes me as the most threatening person so removing that before a merge is KEY. But yeah, that’s where I am at!

I definitely need to step my pussy up in this game… like I feel extremely well about how I’m playing socially (I’ve been in tons of alliances, have gotten to really KNOW everyone I think, have been calling people for hours on end, have gotten information from all directions, etc) but I need to be better at talking game with people. Kendall and Amir have been doing extremely well about getting information out of Scott and Jakey respectively because they initialize game talk with them to do so and I personally struggle with that? I will say, I’ve been really good at getting people on my side to tell me things in the first place but I want EVERYONE to give me the tea like… I got my cup ready for all the tea so spill it please (‘:

I know I’ve done a super bad job at narrating everything that has happened this round but that being said, I haven’t done a bad job this round in the slightest. A sis really 1) established a connection with every player on my tribe [as in, I have an alliance with every single person in some capacity] 2) I am a part of the majority alliance 3) the people on the “bottom” feel good about me and have told me things 4) I’ve gotten close to getting to the end of Thoth’s Tomb which is awesome 5) I feel safe amid some messes this round [like Kendall telling Scott about her, Amir, and I being a trio which nnn] 6) I’ve honestly tried to downplay my gameplay to people by narrating my past seasons to people on call and explaining how I’ve been betrayed by my closest allies so I want something genuine and different this time AND also continuously asking my allies for “help” on talking to others to build even more trust [Amir told me he’s glad I’m in this game because I’m the only level headed one, Devon told me he trusts my judgements on anything, etc]... so yeah, a bitch might be doing that?

Sooooo I think AJ is going tonight? Which is fine because he’s throwing my name around even though I actually was interested in working with him lmao. I was hoping Kendall would go because she literally does not talk, but I’ll take what I can get. Jokes on me when I get blindsided

jakey just told me he's voting for me.. so yes i'm freaking out and yes i'm convinced i'm going home you CANNOT tell me otherwise https://66.media.tumblr.com/376a5e921389df0e5d37a54da9734e04/ebea8f0b6df920b0-57/s640x960/e1f351d79a9ea08058418a032c97026926156df5.gif

kendall and augusto sat me down on call and basically told me it was over https://66.media.tumblr.com/376a5e921389df0e5d37a54da9734e04/ebea8f0b6df920b0-57/s640x960/e1f351d79a9ea08058418a032c97026926156df5.gif

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I hate everyone lmao. I initially started saying we should vote Ken Doll, or whatever her name is, before I knew AJ was throwing my name around. And of course someone threw a vote on Kendall, and now I have Ken Doll in my PMs being like “ballsy how you still voted for me” that’s funny sis, I don’t even know how to spell your name.

Not me almost putting Thoth on the tribe option lmaaaaooo old habits die hard. I would just like to take this time to thank the Academy, the hosts for swapping me well and allowing me to succeed in a way I never could in Thoth, and my new tribe for being both wise enough to listen to me when I come up with a plan and solid enough to deliver. Being immune? It's a lifestyle and I really missed it Ok so things are going well on Hathor (knock on wood)? I've talked to everyone, we're in a good spot, and I'm not worried about anyone.... but I am nervous but we'll come back to that. I feel fantastic about Ali- this is our third time playing together and every time we see each other we just pick up right where we left off, both as friends and allies. But it's really special this time around since we've both won a main? So we're in a unique boat that no one else in the cast is except Amir. Basically now we have each other's backs more than ever because our stakes look different as well as our threat levels compared to everyone else. I also discovered that TJ and I went to the same fucking COLLEGE??? When I say I'm gagged ugh. So yeah I think there's a new level of trust and kinship there since we share something so major that's not game related. And I think both of us are kind of alone? So that helps bridge the gap even more Ok now for all the other menses.... I have always been nervous about Jordan Pines simply because he's Jordan Pines. I know how I am and I know how he is so him being so tame and quiet the entire game is spooky to me and I don't buy it. I'm trying not to start shit obviously but I think it would be risky to wait until Jordan goes full Jordan before making a move but we'll leave it for now. Iiiiiii am no longer sure what to make of Adam and Connor. I actually really liked both of them the past couple days and was considering working with them but it has come to my attention that Adam has been telling everyone the same story about him being on the bottom of the original Hathor and that everyone needs to get rid of Connor since he's apart of that block. When I thought I was the only person with the tea, I was like YEAH ABSOLUTELY but then hours later Duncan tells me the same thing and then today Ali not only tells me that's what Adam said but apparently he said it to Liam as well. So I'm like SIR- tea is only special when it's private. You trying to get the entire tribe to rally to kill one specific person based on something that none of us can fact check is messssyyyy. I know there's some truth to it because Austin also was very adamant that Hathor couldn't be trusted but the whole thing is convenient to me, that Adam is hellbent on getting Connor out and really playing up the victim angle. And the gag is, if Connor ever goes, where does that leave Adam? Cause if you're willing to campaign this early over something that specific, what will you do to target the rest of us? Like ok we're all comparing notes now but that's cause it's pre-merge. Iiiiiii don't know if Adam needs to make it to merge if he's so generous with his spiked tea. And then that leaves Duncan, who is my dad yes and who I've been with the whole game but I'm really trying to diversify and look elsewhere. I don't wanna hurt Duncan but I do get this impression that he sees this as "our" game and that's why he's very keen to know who I'm talking to, who I trust, am I looking for the idol, do I need any help, etc. To the point where I feel like it's gonna become a liability situation, like because we're friends I'm SUPPOSED to both protect him every single round but also approve everything by him and take him to the end. And just so we're clear my game is mine and mine alone. I didn't come into this game to play for or with anyone and y'all know I have too much Sagittarius in my chart to let a man control my game. And no I'm not reaching because Duncan was tripping about me having a good relationship with Devon, to the point where he and Scott made a side group with Devon before tribal to convince Devon to vote me- mind you all of this came to my attention AFTER tribal and from Devon, even though it was Scott and Duncan's idea to vote Devon in the first place. Soooo explain to me why Duncan is questioning my loyalty when I'm voting out another ally over him and then you wanna go do side shit even though the vote was locked and already unanimous?? No ma'am I'll fuck you up. I really killed my bb to protect my dad and he over here trying to micromanage and teach me lessons. Sir there's plenty of game left don't try it. ALSO DEVON BB I MISS YOU YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT SCUNCAN SO PLEASE DON'T DIE ON THOTH

Okay I literally don’t even know where to start with this entire round, so ughhhh lets just make lil blurbs and word vomit all the thoughts in my head. Okay first, alliances. Me kendall Augusto. I trust these 2 more than anyone else in the game, but Kendall is a mess and a half and has accidentally leaked so much shit or purposely idek I know it’s not malicious, she’s super loyal she’s just silly. She told Scott that me her and Augusto were a trio, which like why tf would u do that ??? anyway, Scott told jakey who told me. Next is me aj kendall Augusto which is a cover up to tell aj to vote dan because the actual vote is aj, but no one wants aj to use his idol. Everyone on our tribe is like sure aj has the idol now, and I’m trying push that too, because I have it lmfao and I don’t want people to know I have it. Next is the new main alliance, me kendall Augusto Scott and jakey. I DONT KNOW ABOUT THIS AT ALLLLLLLLLL, everyone wants to vote aj out, and I’m telling Augusto and Kendall, like y’all realize we are giving them the opportunity to 4-3 us next round? And kill the beauties ?? Like how is that smart ?? But at the same time, getting rid aj could cement Scottie and jakey. It just depends if they try and make a move against me Augusto and Kendall next round if they think we are a trio. However, me and Augusto have planned beyond such and in that case, I have ammo. Let’s check the armoury: - Augusto is insanely tight with Devon now, we can use him as a weapon - jakey ratted on dan to Kendall and ratted on the majority alliance, we can turn dan against jakey. So if Scott and jakey think of pulling a fast one on us, I’ll tank their games so fast and make sure they go down with us . Lastly , I’m fucking terrified. Because with this vote, if jakey Scott Devon and dan team up and vote me just to do it, I’m going to go home 4-3-1. I’m putting my faith in this alliance and my gut is telling me to trust jakey and trust Kendall and trust Augusto. Basically, there’s huge pros and cons to what we are doing right now. However, assessing the situation, if I put my foot down hard and force all 4 beauties to stick together, it’s a bad move for my game . Jakey will be mad, Scottie won’t trust us, and I’d be forcing Kendall and Augusto to do what they don’t want to do, and aj is an ally who is almost never online. It’s simply not worth it. The better move is let aj go, create these bonds and take these risks, and secure that I won’t get caught about the idol And then merge is a whole other fucking story, Ali and autumn and Duncan and Jordan must be dealt with.

Nothing is chaotic. This is weird. I don't feel in danger anymore and could clearly get away with making the merge. Connor has left me on seen once already and I've voted him out before. Target numero uno, come on down!

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#BackWithVengeance

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years

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Ali & Carly

Ali: ⚰ knock knock Ali: do i need to get the ouija out Carly: yea Carly: tho bit late to ghost the lad in my bed Carly: idk who he is Ali: 🤠 put on a disguise Ali: like whomst Ali: beats having to leave your own gaff Ali: tho it is a crime scene Carly: got love bites from my arse to my elbow Carly: is he a vamp or what like Carly: i taste good i kno Carly: [sends photographic evidence] Ali: bitch Ali: are you anaemic?! Ali: leech sounds more like it but is he sparkly with good hair Carly: bitch its too early for words i cant spell wtf Carly: he is sparkling but thats my shine ha Carly: the hair is a no Ali: low on iron, probs, i'll get you some iron tablets Ali: taste like blood, don't tell your bedmate, he won't wanna leave Ali: party's over n sharing ain't caring Ali: someone's feeling herself this morning Ali: here for it Ali: I've already been left so that's a no to me Carly: party only ended when i passed out a few hours ago Carly: so yea Carly: was fun Carly: baby no come over Ali: was whilst it lasted for me too but you know Ali: duty calls Ali: you sure Ali: don't wanna break it up if you're good to go again Carly: yea Carly: not scared to go hard on site cuz garda are to come around Carly: i am but hes snoring Carly: & boring Carly: come Ali: perks Ali: check he's not bumped his head Ali: they'd have to come if a normie went missing Carly: nah he has to go before he goes for a slash in my bed Carly: lads are ming Ali: want me to forward that to lene Ali: make her day Ali: steal my girl Carly: do Carly: never seen her party before Carly: weird Ali: Yeah Ali: she can hang but Ali: you know, other shit on her mind Ali: work being one of 'em Ali: thank god I ain't working today Carly: & i cant get a job Carly: ha Carly: can get rid of this boy easy tho Carly: hold on Ali: another skill for the CV Carly: yea Carly: better not have knocked me up Carly: not cute Ali: Umm Ali: you need to go to the pharmacy Carly: theres so much shit on the floor i cant tell whats us & whats party Carly: idc Carly: idk Carly: ill ask him Ali: Lemme know Ali: if I could pick it up for you I would Ali: guess I can, put on a oscar winning show for the nosy bitch in there Ali: Ma will die Carly: ha Carly: its k he wouldnt have gone near me w out Carly: quoted Ali: what a prick Ali: better not be there when i show up cunt Carly: hes leaving Carly: screaming him awake will do that like Carly: ha Ali: what he get for passing out 🤷 Ali: coulda shaved his eyebrows off like Carly: next time maybe Ali: get out the sharpie and all Ali: now it's a party Carly: need your artsy talents tho Carly: me just hold up i need my baby Ali: you got it covered babe Ali: i believe in you Carly: aw Carly: i gotta clean me & this place need belief Ali: how long are your rents away and are there enough stragglers we can rope in Ali: twatface not included, bye Carly: idk but yea theres lads everywhere Carly: mattress is covered Ali: 👏 Ali: put 'em to work Carly: while i lie here k Ali: hmm Ali: no bitch Ali: i know you're princess 'round these parts but still Ali: carriage is back to being a pumpkin sweetie Carly: but im 🤒 Ali: you're hanging Ali: can't claim morning sickness now bitch Ali: chop chop Carly: ha Carly: k bitch Carly: honeymoon over yea Ali: will be if your 'rents come back to this and murder you Carly: idc Carly: be sweet to me Ali: awh baby Ali: only playing tough love Ali: thinking i'm spending too much time with my gf? Carly: yea Carly: i missed you when she stole you away Ali: how dare she 😜 Ali: missed you too tho Carly: youre mine Carly: married you first Carly: & you didnt say bye to me 😢 Ali: are you sure Ali: 'cos I ain't Ali: but how unforgivably rude 😰 Carly: id remember Carly: never forget my boo Ali: baby Carly: you can make it up to me tho Ali: oh yeah? Ali: lemme guess, feed u grapes whilst you recline Carly: nah just be here Ali: easy Ali: got to yoga first but then i'll be there Ali: went too hard with the dancing last night obvs Carly: k ill shower that lad off me Carly: i think you went just right baby Ali: too descriptive babe 😬😂 Ali: calm down with your creative ways Carly: ha Carly: you should hear me sext Carly: so good Ali: sure Ali: maybe works on the straight boys 😉 Carly: not trying to work on anyone else Carly: tell your gf if shes gonna come for me Ali: you're alright, not her type Ali: I barely am Ali: 50% like Carly: shit odds Carly: that why shes so angry Ali: as shit as yours Ali: just in reverse Ali: not saying you're both wrong but Carly: k Carly: cant all be perfect babe Carly: thats just you Ali: 💁 Carly: you kno Ali: ugh my brother's being so annoying Ali: bitch i'm coming down i will fight you Carly: which 1 Ali: dancing one Carly: hes fun Ali: glad you think so Ali: send him over instead yeah Carly: you come here & stay at yours Carly: i'll Ali: alright Ali: you're getting a rough deal soz Carly: why Ali: 'cos he's usually the alright one, so if he's testing me, wait 'til the rest rock up Carly: idc i can sleep through anything Ali: be my guest Carly: but i want you to be mine Carly: had to share last nite Ali: you done w sharing? Carly: yea Carly: im mad Ali: aww Ali: pouty princess Carly: [sends a pouty selfie] Carly: cuz its better when you stay Ali: you're so cute Ali: it's rude and i object Carly: just for you my baby Ali: 😏 such a tease Carly: nah Carly: you can have anything you want Ali: yeah yeah Ali: anything you want from the shops Carly: theres nothing here Carly: i cant do that to you Ali: okay, i'll get breakfast and cleaning shit Carly: theres no money tho Ali: i don't mind Ali: s'only breakfast Ali: IOU if you want but honestly Carly: you're too good to me & for me boo Ali: nah i'm not Ali: no one deserves to be treated like shit the morning after Carly: got me crying Ali: baby Ali: don't be sad Carly: come down is a bitch but youre an angel Ali: 💚 i know Ali: you've survived it many a time before though, you'll be okay Ali: especially when you get some food and hugs Carly: yea Carly: shouldve invited your brother to my party Carly: what a bitch i am Ali: no no, he ain't here, just blowing up my phone being dumb Ali: you're alright, sure you'll meet him when summers out and he's out on town being fabulous Carly: k didnt fuck up the 1st impression Carly: love the gays Carly: your gf excluded like Ali: he's stalked your socials and liked what he's seen Ali: not in a creepy way 'cos gay, of course Ali: awh 😂 why can't we all get along Carly: he can add me i wont send him nudes Carly: cuz she looks at me like she was willing me to hang this hard Ali: oh good to know 😜 Ali: not letting him though, he chats shite and if he's gonna I need to vet it Ali: deal with it boy, crazy posessive wife like Ali: she's just angry with me Carly: idk who lads are if i cant id them in my usual and not seen his dick Carly: my bad if nudes go where they shouldnt Carly: whats he saying about me Carly: who could be angry at you too beautiful Ali: me either for a while, like Ali: feel it's unfair to describe it from memory of having to bath together Ali: awks Ali: just that you're cute Ali: n fun, of course Ali: and a hoe with it 😜 so her, easily lol Carly: aw Carly: but you didnt snog ronan last nite he werent there Ali: nah but she thinks i'm making a twat out of myself with you Ali: tragic straight girl crush, like Carly: cant have a crush on your missus Carly: weve gone beyond it Carly: real love Ali: yeah Ali: but you know Carly: she thinks were gonna fuck Carly: 3way would sort that Ali: exactly Ali: can't on principle Ali: and even if we whack out the strapon, no real dick for you so Carly: list where ive been Carly: puts loads of people off Carly: she'll know youre not trying to get w me Ali: i'm not gonna do you like that Ali: fuck that Carly: idc Carly: do what youve gonna do boo Ali: i know you don't Ali: but i do Ali: fuck those people who are just mad they weren't higher up in the list Ali: s'why you weren't so jog on Carly: stop being so nice to me Carly: if youre mean she'll forget her jealousy Ali: i don't want to Ali: i can handle it Ali: if she can't then Ali: that's that, isn't it Carly: yea Carly: but i dont wanna start shit for you Ali: trust, you didn't start this Ali: it's easier for her to pretend that's all it is Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: if i was a lad id be fucked wouldnt i Ali: probably Ali: don't agree with that, it'd be the same but it'd be different in how she'd be able to deal, yeah Carly: thank god i grew some tits Ali: 😂 Ali: good job babe Carly: my ma was made up as well Carly: took a while like Carly: cant let her get the album out cuz i look like a lad Carly: pretty one tho Ali: you were always cute Ali: i remember Ali: grew into your ears and all 😉 Carly: aw Carly: do you tho? Ali: yeah, 'course Carly: you were always scrapping Carly: shouldve got w your gf then she'd like you more Ali: 😬 let us not think of how troubling the age gap woulda seemed then Ali: must've thought i was a right scouse stereotype Ali: bitches deserved it tho Carly: i thought you were cute Carly: & brave Carly: i was always behind my ma's legs Ali: like my sister Ali: I was always down for the more the merrier but her and Laoise said coven's had to be three so Ali: 🔮 number and all Ali: and tbh Laoise weren't that thrilled Ro was there, like Carly: black magic vibes from her forever Ali: legit Ali: shoulda been scrapping with her, like Carly: yea or fucking her first bf but i got there before you Carly: idk how she knew tho cuz he didnt tell anyone Ali: never lose that sixth sense, babe Ali: esp. when concerning keeping a man 🙄 Carly: did her a favor he was shit Carly: didnt have a clue what he was doing Carly: thought every virgin binge watched porn like Ali: 😂 Ali: have you ever binge watched? you're learning nothing of value from that shite Carly: yea but when youre bored youre bored Ali: I hear ya Ali: always bored Carly: me too Carly: & this sex drive isnt set for a cry wank or eye fuck Carly: no offence ma and da Ali: can't take it personally, lads Ali: ain't there's to try and control Carly: they gotta txt me back so i kno when they are coming home Carly: wtf got you two so busy Ali: all that sex they ain't having Carly: porn binge watch Carly: tho my dad likes reading his Ali: Can't beat a sticky page Ali: lost arm form Ali: art, lmao Ali: sure his form is grand Carly: doctor like howd you lose that arm Carly: epic cry wank Ali: 💪 on the right Ali: limp noodle on the other Carly: hot Ali: that's your father you're talking about Ali: no need to be that stereotypical Carly: shit my bad Ali: 😂 Ali: i love you bitch Carly: I love you too Carly: loads Carly: im mad at you again tho Ali: why what have i done>!> Carly: some1 came round the doorway & i thought it was you so i opened up but nah Carly: enjoy the eyeful lads Ali: oh babe Ali: 😏 bless you Carly: not gonna put clothes on for my girl Carly: waste of time Ali: obvs, charm you out so quick Ali: least it weren't the postie, or was it Ali: Ma reckons we were gonna get complaints, as if mother Carly: lad did deliver for me Carly: not letters tho Carly: least id showered Ali: gotta replenish Ali: you chasing off your comedown rn tho Carly: cant outrun that bitch Carly: some of the mas on site are mad tho you can tell yours Carly: state of their sons my bad Carly: should've kept em in if you were bothered Ali: oh great Ali: no you can't speak to the manager, piss off helen Carly: ha Carly: my da is gonna be in such a mood when he hears Carly: sorry you missed out Ali: parents Ali: not like anyone died Ali: calm it everyone Carly: dont want me to fuck on site dont want me to go off it Carly: talk sense Carly: other day you were trying to marry me off da Ali: just 'cos it brings people to his door Ali: soz to take you away from all the cranking but Carly: yea Carly: sorry im not hiding in the back like w i was little Ali: yeah Ali: too big for the caravan now baby Ali: need your own, how much is it to rent Carly: theyre on about it but the state on this one might change their minds Carly: im cleaning as fast as i can k Ali: we're gonna sort it, i am omw swear Ali: and i'm a parent pleaser so Ali: do the rounds, sweettalk to mothers Carly: he'll just take me back to the doctors like take her off the tablets shes too outgoing now thx Carly: another of your talents boo Ali: when the meds work TOO well Ali: but of course Carly: if he was around hed kno how shit they are Carly: ha Ali: 😔 Ali: baby Carly: its k just gotta double down Carly: pro now Ali: 💚 Carly: style the freakout out cuz ima bad bitch Carly: facts and talents Ali: no lies Ali: the baddest Carly: what we doing today that isnt boring Ali: you mean you ain't buzzing to make like kim and aggy Ali: rude, i'm living Carly: do anything w you but Carly: can only check you out every time you bend Ali: cheeky Ali: appaz imma check all of you out, like Carly: what you dont wanna Carly: your gf will be sad shes so wrong Ali: didn't say that but yeah Ali: hate to make her admit that as well, like Carly: ill tell her Ali: you gonna snitch on me Ali: 🍯 Carly: nah jk Carly: i like annoying her tho Ali: i know Ali: it is funny Ali: not taking sides but lol Carly: taking mine i kno Ali: shh Ali: there's no right or wrong here, babe Carly: k but you love me more Ali: its different Carly: maybe Ali: maybe huh Carly: idk she dont think it is Ali: yeah Ali: but we know the truth Carly: fact is we're ruling this place together Carly: no surprise shes jealous Ali: if the 👑 fits like Ali: soz babe Carly: & we fit Carly: cant fight it Ali: nope Ali: if it works it works Carly: yea & you work it better than anyone babe Ali: oh you Ali: save it for all the Ma's you gotta say soz to Ali: 💋 Carly: ha Carly: mine will kick my arse out if she gets on one better leave the mattress where it is Ali: not gonna come to that but always room for a lil one at ours Ali: i got you Carly: aw Carly: never had a sleepover when i was a kid Ali: 😧 then you gotta Ali: tbh they weren't all that always but you know mine were the best Carly: yea no doubt Carly: all the magic Ali: exactly, midnight snacks and scaring the shit out of each other Ali: can tell you who you gonna marry if you've got a tea light, like Carly: thats easy tho Carly: no1 Ali: alright then, excluding the fact we already is so rude, tbh Ali: i'll tell you who you next gonna bang Ali: same diff Carly: youre just gonna say you Carly: smooth Ali: please Ali: gimme some credit 😂 Carly: now i gotta kno Ali: we'll do it when i get there Ali: which will be soon Ali: got stuck chatting to an old lady in the shop Ali: assume she can't see or she'd have avoided me like hell 😂 bless her Carly: if its ronan again or his cousin dont tell me Carly: aw so cute Carly: youre the sweetest & prettiest ever Ali: i'll casually throw the wax in the bin like nothing to see here Ali: not this morning baby but 1/2 ain't bad #stillgotit Carly: tell me you see my death & run like k bye Carly: every morning Ali: you'd rather your literal death? they ain't THAT bad, predictable but like, damn Ali: that's some shade, feel the burn, lads Ali: so are you cutie Carly: idk but over ronan hard Carly: hes being such an arsehole to me Carly: cba Ali: don't Ali: ignore his Carly: yea but like im gonna see him even if i do Carly: fucking site life Ali: i kno but blank him Ali: nothing talks louder Ali: or if you gotta, be proper polite like he's a stranger Carly: ha yea Carly: amazing Ali: childish but so is he so Ali: two can play at that game Carly: youre right i kno Carly: ive deleted his txts so i cant show you but its k cuz youd be sad Carly: or mad Ali: i'm sure i could guess the gist Ali: you can tell me if you wanna talk about it though, i promise i won't go ripshit Carly: idc Carly: ive known him long so i didnt think hed go that hard but thats what lads are like Carly: he fucks around more than me too Ali: he's a hypocrite Ali: just 'cos he knows other lads can do it better Ali: he's just insecure, babe, ignore him Carly: i need a holiday from here Carly: but ma & da never take me w Ali: shit considering how many times they manage Ali: cut a hol off and you'd have enough funds lads Ali: maybe we can Carly: i did kick off last time cuz they didnt refill my prescription Carly: went crazy like Carly: wouldnt want that girl there either Ali: not your fault, that, though Ali: you were literally off your meds Carly: that they reckon i dont need tho Ali: if you didn't then you wouldn't act like that without Ali: simple as Carly: never thought of that Ali: we'll go, i promise Ali: even if it ain't far Carly: lets camp Carly: marshmallows are the shit Ali: hell yeah! Ali: let's find a cave forreal Carly: YEA Carly: dont fall over tho Ali: do my best 😂 Carly: you gotta Carly: only scaring me w ghost stories or whatever Ali: promise Carly: k we'll go Carly: 💙 Ali: 💚 done and done Ali: do you wanna bring anyone else or Carly: got my fave coming Carly: do you Ali: nah Ali: just wanna take you exploring Carly: k Carly: then you can Ali: 👌 Carly: id go now so whenever you want boo Ali: soon Ali: i'll work it out Carly: i kno Carly: got the belief Ali: 🔮 Carly: should get dressed or nothing'll get done Ali: awh Ali: you knew i just got here Carly: they arent on yet Carly: not that fast Ali: jk Ali: find me on the mattress when you're decent bitch Carly: baby no Carly: youll catch something off that Ali: sitting on the carrier bag Ali: always thinking Carly: so smart

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moralesispunk · 4 years

Text

Confessions

Marcus Moreno x Female Reader

Summary - Marcus and you are finally confronted with your feelings for one another.

You tried to keep your feelings to strictly friendly in nature, telling yourself you just cared how his date at the weekend went because you wanted him to be happy and not because you were jealous.

“Yeah, she asked if I wanted to go for dinner tomorrow,” he replied with a sigh.

“Don’t sound to excited,” you teased with a laugh.

“No, no, I am... I think,” he said, “when I first started dating again I just thought I had been out of the game for too long but now, I’m not so sure.”

You didn’t enjoy giving him dating advice but you didn’t like seeing him anything other than happy even more so. You took in a deep breath before replying.

You knocked on the door and as he held his phone up to his ear gave you a smile and waved you in.

“No, it’s okay! Have a safe flight,” Marcus said before hanging up the phone and sighing.

“Everything okay?” you asked as you placed the contract down on his desk with a pen.

“That was Missy’s babysitter. She’s had to leave town for the weekend so can’t come over tomorrow. Maybe its a sign,” he said as he signed.

“I can come over if you want?” you offered.

You had met Missy plenty of times before and had stayed with her for a few hours while Marcus had a last minute meeting to go to.

“Are you sure? You don’t have any plans,” he asked.

“None. My weekends aren’t as in demand for dates as yours Mr Moreno,” you said teasingly.

He smiled at you but it wasn’t quite reaching his eyes before nodding.

“Thank you,” he said, “I’ll give you a text tomorrow?”

“Sounds good, see you then,” you said before leaving his office.

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You arrived at his house around quarter past 5 and took a minute to calm your breathing before going up to the door. You knocked and tried to put on a smile before Marcus answered the door.

He looked as handsome as ever. Smart trousers and a nice shirt that wasn’t buttoned all the way up. His hair wasn’t as smart as it was for work but still styled and he was without his glasses.

“Hi,” he said with a smile, opening the door wider to let you in.

“Hi back,” you said.

“Missy has had dinner. She is just in watching TV,” he said, tilting his head towards the family room, “I shouldn’t be out too late.”

“It’s fine, I don’t have anywhere to be,” you said, putting your hands in your pockets as you suddenly felt uncomfortable, “you look good, by the way. Lucky lady.”

You began to regret your comment before his cheeks flushed in response. He gave a shy smile before nodding towards you.

“You look good too,” he said quietly.

There was now a silence over you as you both stood awkwardly in the hall before Missy walked out.

“Hi,” she said with a big smile, coming over to give you a hug, “I found a film for us to watch already.”

You laughed and softly squeezed a hug back before looking back to Marcus. He was watching you both, a small but real smile on his face as he took in the sight before him.

You were thinking about Marcus on his date. He looked amazing, he always does, and he is so perfect in every way that theres no way his date wouldn’t be falling for him like you so obviously had.

By the time the movie finished it was still early enough and so you and Missy decided to watch the sequel as well.

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---------

“Hey, its just me,” he said quietly as you began to wake up.

“Marcus?” you said still half asleep as you sat up, “how was the date?”

He sighed leaning back into the couch, “I told her that I thought it best not to go on a third date.”

“So not the best then,” you laughed slightly.

"Well, you’ll know when its the right one,” you said, moving closer to give his arm a squeeze, “anyone would be lucky to have you Marcus. You’re so smart, and kind, and not to mention handsome...”

“Wow,” Marcus said with a smile.

“Yeah,” you giggled back.

You both sat up straighter, looking at one another in the eye and not sure who should speak first. Marcus moved to take your hands in his.

“I have to admit, I’ve thought about what it would be like to do that for a while now,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

“I have too,” you said, giving his hands a squeeze of reassurance, “how did it match up?”

“Better than I could have imagined,” he sighed contently, while looking down at your lips, “can I kiss you again?”

When you eventually broke away neither of you could stop the smiles that were on your faces.

“So... do you maybe want to go on a date sometime?” Marcus said with a laugh.

“I would love that, Marcus,” you said laughing back.

“Next weekend?"

“Its a date.”

“Can I give you a call tomorrow,” he asked shy now.

“You can indeed,” you said with a smile.

Marcus’s hand found yours and he pulled you in gently, placing another soft kiss to yours lips.

“Just needed one more.”

#marcus moreno #fanfic #fic #headcannon #oneshot #we can be heroes #pedro pascal #marcus moreno fic #marcus moreno oneshot #marcus moreno headcannon #din djarin #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #oberyn martell #maxwell lord #marcus pike #dave york #max phillips

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in-paradox-space · 6 years

Text

today I haven’t done anything. I’ve been down, anxious and lazy.

I want to get high with friends and do sesh things.

I want to draw in my notebook which got lost along with my drawing pens

and some other stuff

I left my bag in a taxi

I left basically all my convenient shit in that bag, chargers, some meds, my ps4 controller, more usb wires, more usb shit but its all really niche convenient techy shit

it isnt that niche but for “””””techies””””” and travelers alike (me) its really convenient

usb type c and micro usb chargers, otg cables, plug heads, usb 3.0 card readers which btw i can plug into my otg cable transferring torrented shit from my phone to a usb wherever i am

a tiny amount of oxy and codeine, 2 weeks worth of medicine roughly, plus some 5htp vitamins

hella baggies just because

probably makes the prescription medicine in there look suspicious

my beanie

and a small sketchbook, pocket sized

I’ve had it since the start of 2017.

I’ve been developing my very own abstract drawing style in that book for over a year.

Nothing valuable was lost. Luckily my camera&lens worth around a grand wasn’t in there

but its just all my convenient stuff

and what sucks most is losing that sketchbook

and as ive been home alone today

ive wanted all the shit in that bag

i can get over the stuff in there

but I want my sketchbook back

it has my address in there, my name, probably some contact details

I really hope they send it there. Even if they keep the other shit.

I may have left the bag in a taxi though. Usually I’d walk to the taxi place, then walk back. It’s like 2.5 miles in total which is a good thing for me because I like the walk

gets me outside,etc

but uh im anxious

honestly most likely because I fapped

I fap like once every one or two weeks. Nofap is no lie. I feel like shit the next few days afterwards

and uhhh

my neighbour moved out, which leaves his girlfriend in the apartment next door... if shes even his gf anymore???? i have no idea but theyre both moving apparently

well yeah i spoke to her boyfriend a lot, got on with him

but i barely know her

and i have no key to the front door of my apartment building, long frustrating story lol

lost my keys

i keep going to the same key cutter because i have no cash and they do free fixes when their own keys fuck up

they made one key cut work, my apartments, but the one to the front door doesn’t work

i dont want to ask her to open the front door, i dont want to knock on her door, its just

the word here is awkward but everything is awkward thats not really a reason

im just irrationally anxious. I feel like she doesn’t like me. There’s many reasons for her not to but also reasons for her to.

Either way I don’t want to annoy her

and it would just be awkward if she heard me try to open the door, then its locked and she hears that from her apartment

then she hears me go back up the stairs and not knock on her door

then that leaves us both in an awkward place

do i knock on her door, knowing there’s a 50/50 chance she heard my attempt to leave my own apartment building

then do that shit

or do i go back into my flat, knowing she probably heard me avoid her

she can put two and two together

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

then she may even knock on herself

with her nice smile which is actually pretty welcoming tbh

well tomorrow

yeah tomorrow i think oh well ill find out

im getting more medicine which i ordered since i ran out and lost mine

one that im able to live without for a week no problem, havent had it for a few days

im supposed to get a blood test every month on this medicine but its been 3 months

lets hope im aight

and uhhh

i need some kick out of this slump

i just keep lazing around

like i have so much i can be doing

like studying, making things for my pages

just hella shit which isnt even that laborious

like i make memes

thats my main thing

i have hella pages

its fun to make them

i draw too

thats also one of my main things on the down low

but i keep putting it off

i play rythym games

analyze music

can be boring sometime but im under no pressure to do that

i make videos with my friend

god yeah i should do that

like my studying isnt that hard

i dont have to clean toilets every day

man i just

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i want to get high on oxy and codeine for 2 weeks

but theres just a few a lot of problems with that:

money for one

thats 2 weeks out of my life

withdrawal from friends, having to hide that im back on the horse

then choosing between lying and telling the truth every time afterwards about the 2 weeks

then it wouldnt be as simple as just stopping would it?

maybe it would, sometimes i do just stop like its nothing

and what do i gain

but you know what

oxy might give me that kick

i just dont know the prices on the deepweb or how to use the deepweb

plus i dont have the money

but yeah i guess i feel like being withdrawn for 2 weeks

wouldnt mind doing some light opiates and reading homestuck

plus drawing

then maybe cramming physics and maths work into literally every hour for a few days

im apparently having some xanax sent over by a friend

im having my doubts about that. it still hasnt arrived and he has reasons to not send them but still make me pay

this is my tumblr and nobody is fucking reading so yeah

but still drugs are mentioned, this is public and liable

id mention him but im just gonna say its the serious boyfriend of someone who got close to me

it fucked with him when it happened. idk how he feels about it now but hes polite to me

it could just be a polite front though, idk how he really feels

i actually really fucking admire the dude

a lot

everything ive learned about him, from him and our mutual person has just been fucking exceptional

and thats on my mind every time she advanced on me

every time i invited it

every time i chose not to say no

hes a really great dude like i just

he could have beat me up that one time but he understood

he understood pretty much all times i think

and he opened up to me

whether he sees it that way or not, i see it that way

id love to be his friend. maybe i will be even though this shit is in the air

but i think he may just be being polite, he probably hates me

but yeah

i like the dude

i dont want to fuck around with something that matters so much to him

when i honestly dont want to bother with her

shes admirably smart, very much so, but just not really the kinda person i want to spend more than an evening with

and i only want to be around her when she isnt drunk and in a good mood

shes so volatile i cant be doing with that

but thats why i commend him even more

hes stayed with her through it all and hes such a great person, in my eyes, to be in her life

and if hes gonna try to get cash from me this way then that sucks

like id probably just pay him if he asked considering how much hes forked out

but nah hes gotta deceive me

i dont even wanna get into benzos, as nice as it is a few hours in,

i just dont like this memory fog

i dont remember any of it

and the withdrawal seems fucking SCARY

plus tolerance and the fun wearing off when u get hooked

why couldnt he just sell me oxy lol

............. i may ask him

if i was doing oxy id probably actually get the fuck up

do the shit i wanna do

but yeah fuck that

thats basicslly all im saying

im getting anxious, low and unmotivated again

id call it dysthymia

#personal #sad #anxiety #kelly #drugs

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ddjuneten · 8 years

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Number 59. fucKyou pt4. (Kafkaesque)

Kafkaesque

These thoughts of you still plague my mind. Im readyfor love, but every girl that i find Just reminds me that i loved you. Is there any girl i could ever rank above you? Why am i still in love after 4 years? These girls smile for me, but all i remember are your tears. And despite all my fears, I found a girl who would suffice. A pretty girl who is innocent and nice. If im not over you, at least im close Because with her, its no longer just about ripping off clothes. This girl i chose will help me get over you. The one i love most. Im just trying to make it through What else can i do? Im with a girl who fucking reminds me even more of you. But i’ll learn to love her in due time, Im not over you but im fine. My feets on solid ground. Then you shook my world when you came back around. You sent a text. I sent one back. Blah blah blah. This and that. “Can i come over or not?” “Of course you can” dot dot dot. Howd i end up in this spot? Why is it that you come back when im okay? Today of all days, Im so excited to see you and what you have to say. Im ecstatic, and shocked. Dumbfounded. Hearing you say you wanted to block Me from every outlet of communication. Stuck on the tracks of a train station I just couldnt get up. I couldnt get out. What the fuck are you talking bout?! But your reiteration Of our conversation Left me in devastation. The train that was racing Came and it hit. Like a brick Straight to my chest I lost my breath. I had to leave Just to breathe. And it was outside where i started crying. The thought of you lying In my bed one last time. Thoughts of me in your head for that one last time. I want you instead even if its just one last time. What if i go back in and play my cards right? Could you please stay the night? Ill even read you these dumbass poems i write. I know i got a girl and that you got a man, But fuck them. Fuck the world. Ill have you if i can. I felt like this even despite i grew up thinking id never cheat. That no matter how many girls i meet I would stay true and loyal. I just want one woman whom i can spoil, Because she and i would be meant to be. And you was she! Four years ago it killed me When i cheated on you mentally. Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry. I understand the heartbreak now. I really do. Because walking back into the house, all i wanted was you. And there on my bed you laid so perfectly. And those eyes… i already know what you expected of me. Can i just jump in bed and join you? We can fuck around and maybe go light a joint too Before going back for round two. But i kept my distance. Against bout my heads’ wills I let you lay there while i stood still. Paralyzed. You asked for a change of clothes and i realized By you changing in front of me, You definitely wanted me. Why else would you present yourself to me in such a manner? Do you want to cheat on your man or Is this just some test you planned or Should i supply to your demand or I dont even know what you want. I cant understand her. So i turned my back and looked to the wall. Thats when she said “what you doing? Youve seen this all.” Yea. I mean sure But that was back then when we were And now we’re not. Theres a line and you crossed it by a lot. Why is it that my temptress Is the same angel i was once blessed with? You got back into bed with my shirt and sweats And i eventually joined you like “lets Just rest And not get too close.” Then you got too hot and took off your clothes. And you laid on me just like you used to. Shit we havent laid like this since ive used you. With your exposed breast Pressed up against my chest I could feel my breaths Become slower. Harder. Even lower me got harder. From that position we were in I could feel your hair dangling And tickling My skin. So i put my hands on your hips And laid there. Dreaming about kissing those lips. A couple inches forwards and we would have kissed. How could i even resist?! How can i say no?! Everything i know About love is being tested right now. I shouldnt kiss you at all, but how? Why would i refuse you When that pain i used to Feel has finally subsided. Do you remember when i loved you? Cuz i did! You dont?!? Tell me another lie bitch You fucking sexy sex inducing witch. I didnt know if you could tell But you definitely had me under your spell. Contemplating the power of my will I just laid still. “Dont cheat dont cheat! Dont listen to what your brain, dick, or heart speaks. You arent that weak. Dont cheat dont fucking cheat!” But its not an easy feat. Easier said than done Especially when what i want is the one. What do i do here? Im stuck Between my bed and her body. I want to fuck, Not just because you’re being naughty, But because im hoping our one kiss Will help us both reminisce And that a sexsion will rekindle this. Why are you here? You already said this is our last goodbye, And i heard you loud and clear. So why are you still here when you got a guy Whom you’re going to lie to? What! You want me to lie too?! Am i the reason you turned out this way? Im sorry.. i love you still! Im sayingexactly what you want me to say. Be with me and i’ll patch you up. I will. Maybe what im feeling is just guilt? I mean i did demolish the love we built. I dont know though. Because our love was so unreal That it made it real. And you know how people say love can make time stand still? Well, We’ve been in this position for half an hour, And our lips still havent been reintroduced. All these feelings you produced And induced Are so overwhelming that ive reclused. I didnt do anything that night. But you did. Morning came, but we didnt. I walked you to your car and that was it. It was a tough night. It really was. But in a way im glad it happened because My life is always a little better when you’re there. You lift me above A final Goodbye to the only girl i’ve actually loved.

#fuckyou

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survivingjapan · 7 years

Text

EPISODE 3 “Back On My Bullshit” Alex S.

Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that I am Back On My Bullshit and doing That https://youtu.be/VLVChQE7uY8

So last round, I almost died. Everyone had apparently decided that between me and Patrick, I was the one to go. I was the target and it wasn't like anyone was pushing for it, it was just that it was the idea settled upon. It took me 23 hours. 23 hours to basically get it through these thick skulls that I should NOT be going home. 23 hours to shove Patrick under a bus and save my own ass. And yet, with 1 hour left, another bitch got in the way. Kage, in all his pointless paranoia, decided to try to reflip the vote in the last hour. The FUCK? I had worked so hard on flipping it that it made NO sense for it to be flipped back, especially not in the last hour. I had convinced nearly everyone to save me, sans Tommy who had already voted and apparently Kage, and yet he tried to flip it. WHATTTT the fuck? So, I went into the one world chat like "lol Kage bye girl!" And he apparently went right back to everyone and said "jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk!" UGH. He's a sweet kid and I get the paranoia because I felt it all of yesterday, but c'mon... At the moment, I trust Jonathan a ton. He told me I was in danger and needed to push the idea despite me thinking everything was peachy. I also love Crow and Jaiden for working with Zack and seeing how that mess turned out LOL and now working with me. Crow was apparently really pushing for me to stay. A motherfucking KING. Sarah was also really nice about everything and helped me from the get-go. Linus is m'dad and Alex is pretty rad!! Ashley fell asleep oops. But I think her and I would be good together. And Richie was telling me the full truth the whole time which also woke me up to the idea that I was still in danger. Also Junior is really cool and adult-y. I think now that I had to work SO hard to save myself, I should be in a better position on my tribe because I've had so many conversations with so many people, and a lot of it was strategy. So I feel like people know where my head is at. Right now, though, my target is between Tommy and Kage. While I know Kage is a messy bitch, Tommy's won this game. That's insanely dangerous. And I know he voted early but girl.... he was the only one beside Kage and Patrick (who I was actively targeting)...

https://68.media.tumblr.com/9335ba85c23ae1f01a1348b1c31c3666/tumblr_n99wduhukv1sb2lomo1_500.png

Me and Brian

I apologize for not submitting a confessional round two. I definitely was in Omaha auditioning for American Idol and those bitches told me a deserved no after my voice cracked during auditions *starts to cry*. Literally my tribe is so supportive but I'm actually fine about it. It's kinda funny that they think I like wanna die because of it but I'm literally okay. I tried and failed and what matters is that I tried.

Sup Fuckerinos! First things first I'd like to apologize for not making a confessional episodes 1 or 2. I've been busy^tm. Also I'd like to thank the hosts for this opportunity! So recap I was placed on the heroes tribe with literally the entire Solomon hosting team, Johnny, and the Malaysians. So when we lost the first challenge an alliance was created consisting of me, Pippa, Andrew, Kendall, Drew, Alex, & Johnny. Mist was voted out 11-1 (and Mist voted for me :') kms) because literally everyone and their damn mother came to that conclusion with a little point in the right direction from our alliance. I'm not going to lie I'm kind of pissed that everyone wanted Mist when we had the opportunity to vote out someone who's more threatening like Drew, Steffen, or Andrew but if no one else is down to do it then I guess I can't do anything about that RIP Mist. Andrew wants to get out Kendall and/or Alex instead of Drew and I see where he's coming from but I think he's too trigger happy and I think he's failing to realize that there are and will be repercussions to the things he does. Including the backlash that he will feel from the other heroes even Pippa but I can't tell him anything because I obviously don't know anything. He's got such a fucking hard head but if he wants to be stubborn and reckless let him because I'm not going to let him ruin my redemption arc even if we are good friends. I'll write his name down and not think twice. I'll shed only one tear for what could've been but was ruined by his reckless ass. Also I have something with Steffen on the side so if worse ever comes to worse I have him and I really like Trace and Ruthie so maybe I could do something with that? Idk but besides Andrew I really like this tribe. Blood is going to start spilling soon so I hope these bitches brought their heels.

Okay so I'm seeing myself becoming a lot nastier in the last few days....maybe these villains are rubbing off on my obviously heroic personality?? Firstly, I can now see why people had issues with Tommy in Cutthroat now....he's so hard to talk to... I feel he means well as a person but I just have a gut feeling that he's lying to me a lot.... Like about how his vote was locked "too early"? Seems convenient that you mention this to people AFTER the votes are revealed and you're in the minority? And then threatening me with the possibility of drawing rocks if it were to go to 6-6-1? Seriously? It's insulting... As of now, I'm probably closest to Sarah, Brian, Jaiden, and Jonathan so if I can maintain those relationships and reach out to the Linus/Junior duo I feel confident I can hang with these villains!

Listen I know this is my first confessional and that's awful of me but like I haven't had anything to say until this moment. If This selfie scavenger hunt Comes down to the geopositional division of the tribes And whose sun sets first Imma lose it It will be a tantrum And you will all bear witness to what happens when moving stress has pushed a person to the very edge, and the last string snaps.

Well, we lost another immunity. I am thinking maybe we should go afterJonathan, who pretty much did NOTHING for this scavenger hunt. But honestly I aint going to speak my mind because it could get me killed. In a game with this many people my strategy for right now will be to lay low, just not too too low. Hopefully Sarah or Tommy will run the show. For now.

WELL we lost again and im pissed bc i dont feel comfortable with my position on this tribe i havent formed good relationships with anyone and that's how i play these games by making 1 on 1 relationships with people that keep me safe until i can make moves but ugh idk theres just no one here that i........connect with???

So I guess my name is going around... I mean I am literally sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor packing to move so I can't really help being a little inactive on the chatting side, but challenge wise I have done quite a bit for this tribe so far, and I am really people can see that. but I mean oh well.

HFDJKA;VHJDFKAL NOW I KNOW WHY THE FOUR OF THEM WANTED TO WORK TOGETHER FUCKING DREW ALEX KENDALL AND ISAAC WERE ALL IN MALAYSIA AND THEY DRAGGED ME AS THEIR FIFTH AND PIPPA AND ANDREW AS 6TH AND 7TH OML THEY GOTTA GO THIS IS LITERALLY THE PERFECT CASE TO TURN ON THEM. The only person I told I wanted Ruthie out was Andrew, but now I'm not even sure if I'd want to take Ruthie out this round because those four could be so threatening down the road, but I also have to keep in mind that those four all being from Malaysia is target enough when we all get together as heroes AND villains, so maybe I just take the safe route and go for Ruthie here, and then if we lose for the third time, that's when I pull everyone else into the fold and it can be everyone against the four of them to AT LEAST get Kendall and Alex out of here because they're too damn good. I'm trying to take out all the really good players early, but I also think there's a chance that'll make me oober vulnerable, so I'm not too sure what the plan is yet. I guess I'll just play it out for now and see what my closest people think. I'm definitely going to tell Dom, Trace and Steffen about the four of them all playing in Malaysia together. This is where my research gets me! FUCK YES!

Steffen is probably about to make a confessional about how I was moving 100000 miles a minute with everything I was throwing at him. Just be prepared LMAO

I hate this game. Every round, I think the game is going to simplify, but this villains tribe is a complete mess and I wouldn't be shocked if we lost the duel and had to go to yet another tribal council 24 hours from our current one. Apparently, the vote is between Ashley and Jonathan for being extra quiet this round. What scares me is that I have no reason to really vote either out. I'd much rather vote Tommy or Kage who I have no intention on working with in the future ever ever ever. I don't have a personal issue with either, I just don't see myself ever working with someone who tried to vote me out. It's not logical. But then again, nothing that's happened on this crusty ass tribe has been logical. Vote me out over Pat? Majority said so until I flipped it (with some help who really pushed the move over the edge). This round, I guess I want Ashley to go? But I don't want to draw lines. I'd rather Kage go in an easy vote and that's that. But it ain't happenin' and I really don't need my name circulating yet again. Here's to hoping I don't get idoled out or go via rocks... please...

BITCH the villains tribe is a fucking mess i cant stand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this vote is fucking ridiculous again no one has a clear plan theres no way of getting anyone to tell you whats actually going down its all just second hand names being tossed out and its like.... driving me fucking crazy theres 24 people still in the game so im just trying to lay low which im sure thats what everyone else is trying to do and thats why no one is just outright saying who they're voting for and like i get it but i want to die!!??? it looks like either jonathan ashley or kage are going... jonathan is inactive i've only spoken 2 words to him and he hasnt done anything to help in the immunity challenges so its easiest to vote him out but i liked him when he called out kage for his bullshit in the tribe chat so that was fun ashley is pretty inactive too but she helped more in the scavenger hunt BUT shes also wicked connected to people in this game from past tumblr survivor games relationships she has played with a lot of people in this game and thats scary to let her stay around and utilize those relationships kage i dont think is a real option but just ashley being mad that he is one of the ones that has said her name but i'd be cool with that because we've talked a good amount but i can tell he's a messy player he caused a lot of last minute chaos at our first tribal and i feel like kage tommy and linus have something going on so id like to break that potential group up idk whats going to happen bc this tribe is a literal disaster if i had to guess i'd assume jonathan will be leaving tonight and idc who it is as long as im still here (although i do need alex to stay for sanity reasons) i just dont want a tie or to be in minority and with that i guess we'll see what actually happens ugh why the fuck did yall think i was a villain fuck you i want to be over there with the good bitches

God I keep half forgetting to make confessionals please don't hate me. I really do enjoy our tribe, winning challenges is great but I'm afraid that people are simply talking more than I am which is my fear. I'm around but not specifically talking with people. I hope the Early 30s know I'm working with them whole heartedly and don't try and back stab me. Other than that I'm living life and having fun.

I have a feeling that an idol is gonna come out and I love being messy, so voting for Kage was just so he can be #afraid that his name came up. And like lowkey a fucking Sapphire idol could show up so who knows what happens with that. I'm just trying to fuck some lives over though so IF THAT HAPPENS, then maybe I'll be the only vote to eliminate Kage? Lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tGhgF8_Uxk third babes

#returnrevengeredemption #confessionals

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notmynostalgia · 4 years

Text

lets get personal

i got my period in 5th or 6th grade, when i was 11-12 years old. previously, my only worries had been homework and a boy i liked, but not anymore. from that time until i was 20, it lasted 10 days. a third of every month for ten years i spent bleeding (now its 7 days, so a fourth of every month, as it probably will be for another forty years). the few days leading up to it i had bloating and pms acne, sending my self esteem plummeting, and the days of i had terrible cramps and lower back pain that took my breath away and left me so nauseous and exhausted that if the first day came while i was at school or volleyball practice, i had to leave so i could go home and curl up on my bed with hot packs on my stomach and back and a bucket nearby in case i did actually puke. my chest was so sore i couldnt sleep on my stomach. sometimes just talking felt impossible.

i wore pads, not tampons, because i didnt like the way tampons felt. they hurt going in and coming out. once on vacation when i was 13 or 14 we were going to the beach but id started my period on only the second day we’d been there, so my mom gave me one of her super-jumbo tampons, because apparently hers was really heavy too. sitting on the toilet taking it out was one of the most painful experiences i had ever had. i grit my teeth and held my breath until i couldnt anymore and then i was sweating all over and so fucking scared i wouldnt be able to do it. but i did, because i had too.

i was also terrified of toxic shock syndrome, which happens when you leave a tampon in for too long, and it can kill you.

those kinds of things dont happen with pads, but they’re really not good for a lot of other things. when you get up from bed in the morning, the first thing you do is go to the bathroom because theres a chance you bleed through or around your pad, even though you slept the whole night on one side with your legs clamped together. moving around when you sleep can shift how the pad fits and if it isnt positioned just right, you can bleed through your underwear, pajamas, and onto your sheet. if you were shorts to bed, you may wake up with bloody fingers from itching down there while still half asleep. that happened to me about three times before i realized what was happening. i had to use q-tips to get the dried, caked blood from under my finger nails, and now i wear pants to sleep in. in the morning, as you stand, gravity pulls the blood that was pooling somewhere still inside you since you were lying horizontally, and you feel acutely clumps of blood somewhat solidified like gel, pass through you. and there is nothing you can do about it. you cant hold it in. you just have to feel it and accept it like everything else that comes with having a period. sometimes, this is still happening when you go sit down on the toilet and blood gets on the waistband on your shorts or pants and the toilet seat and maybe the bathroom floor. you have to try and gauge when there is a pause in the blood flow, and youre never always right. so now you have to get a clean change of underwear and pants, but you cant put the ones around your ankles back on because youd get blood on you in other places. so you take them off and hobble back to your bedroom with your legs close together so you dont bleed on the floor and hope that none of your family happens to come around the corner and see you. you get back to the bathroom and lock the door. you put a fresh pad - which will only last about 4 hours (so 5-6 pads a day for the first 2-3 days, then 3-4 for the next two, then 2-3 for the next two, and 1 for the last day), if you sit still and do nothing - on your fresh underwear. also, and i dont know why, but youll probably have diarrhea for the first few days of your period too.

playing sports with pads isnt fun. in high school for volleyball games, i had to wear actual underwear, because pads literally, physically cant work with thongs, and then spandex shorts over the underwear because i didnt want to have underwear lines and also for another layer of protection in case of leaks, and then our uniform shorts. nothing about it was comfortable. and obviously, you cant swim while wearing a pad, so youd better be sure to plan beach/swimming trips so they dont fall anywhere near your period, if you can. but they will anyway, because until youre in your twenties, your period will be irregular. mine changed every month by a few days, sooner or later. and sometimes, you think its over, youll go a couple hours with nothing, a clean pad, but then theres more. another day or two. so you were supposed to go hiking today but your period came early or started late and its just so much physical and emotional labor to try and deal with being a person while bleeding from your vagina and every complication that comes with it (like the pressure from a car seatbelt digging into your stomach even though its hardly touching you, like estimating how many pads youll need for the day and remembering to pack them, like having to change what you were going to wear to something loose-fitting like sweatpants and dark to conceal potential leaks) that you cancel.

in college, i played volleyball, and we had a strength and conditioning trainer we saw twice a week, but i continued to train with him for another year after volleyball ended. when i would start my period or be on the first, second, or third day, i would text him and say i wasnt feeling well or had the flu, because i wasnt sure how he’d react to me not coming in because i was on my period. for some reason, its embarrassing to have a period. we have to lie, we have to have good names like “aunt flo” “ketchup” ”monthly visitor”, even among fellow women. in high school and even college, i would have to wait until the bathroom was empty to open my pad because the packaging was so loud and i didnt want anyone to know, and sometimes that made me late for class or practice. we make sure no one’s looking when we pull “sanitary items” from our backpacks or bags; i would wear a sweatshirt and stick the pad up my sleeve so no one would notice. i would be in so much pain during class that i’d taken six midol over the course of the school day but still have to hold my stomach and try to think of anything else that if, if a teacher asked what was wrong or why i wasnt paying attention i would just say i didnt feel good. and your entire life if you show any emotion that a man deems part of an inappropriate reaction, youll have to deal with him thinking or asking if you’re on your period.

in the shower, you bend over and watch the blood run into the drain. youll have to wait for a pause in the flow to get out, dry off and hobble quickly to the toilet. sometimes youll sit down and see pink water droplets on the inside of your thighs where blood mixed with the shower water. you wipe them off before putting underwear on a new pad for the night.

the day before you start your period you might have just done laundry, but it came unexpectedly and theres blood all over you underwear and maybe your shorts or pants. do you waste the water and wash those two garments now in hope that they dont stain, or do you throw them in the laundry basket to be washed in a couple days with a full load?

when it comes to work, if im on my period for my fast food job, i cant call off, and we’re so short staffed that ill never find someone to cover me, so i work. at my desk job, im lucky enough to be able to sit with a hot pack and a cup of red raspberry leaf tea so i can make it through.

men will never know what its like to have a period and pretend that you dont.

#and thats why women are inherently superior #also i have endometriosis and 1 in 10 women do.#some womens' periods arent this bad but some womens' periods are worse #periods #women #woman #menstruation #menstrual health #menstrual cycle #also ladies if you havent tried red raspberry leaf tea DO IT its literally game changing. everything still sucks but a little bit less #womens health

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celestialallstars · 5 years

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Episode #8: “Au Revior Cyrena” - Mitch

I can’t believe I lost Alyssa....

So the blindside happened and I think it will just stick to me...I hate Alyssa went but at the same time I feel good knowing that I put something together to try to wreck what seemed like a growing alliance. And now I think they all will know by now but if I lose, I'm gonna lose knowing I tried to do things I wouldn't normally do and I just think it feels so like evil. I don't wanna be evil but what it takes to get to the end, I'll do it

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Chris just told me he wanted the S1 alliance that Mitch had floated ages ago but couldn’t remember if I was keen for it or not, so instead of asking me he just said fuck it and voted me. Bro cmon

The merge is finally upon us! And I couldn't be happier. I was in the minority on Orfeo so getting to re-unite with my closest allies after they pulled off the biggest blindsided of the season together is greeeeat!

Right now, it does really seem like there are 8 players all on the same wavelength. I don't think anyone in the group is very likely to flip at this point in time so hopefully it should be smooth sailing for awhile.

Of course, there are sure to be bumps along the way. I'm gonna keep prioritizing my own safety so I can sail these seas without being a target.

My strategy for the comp is to ask for a "crumb" or "nothing" from people I don't trust, so they can't try to sabotage me since they won't know what I'm going for or will think I'm throwing. And from people I trust, I'll ask for something negative without being specific.

So what's gonna happen tonight? Me Michael Matt and Drew sit around, panic, and hope it's not one of us. I feel like we're the 3 amigos (plus Michael Snow) in Caramoan going up against Stealth R Us, although I KNOW the 9 other ppl in this game aren't all aligned. But where are the cracks?? I just have no clue. I'm gonna have to do a lot of talking to people who I never got to be on a tribe with and hope somebody throws me a bone. Chloe? Loris? Stephen? We kept up a decent dialogue during one world. Matt is paranoid Bryce/Zach are running everything and tbh, I can definitely see it. But we can't do anything yet about that I don't think. I really hope Chris and Mitch pull me in on SOMETHING or this is gonna be an absolute bust. I really want Jared out he's so fucking snakey and I caught him in a fucking lie about voting Rhys but of course he had to go and win immunity. Not that he'd be voted yet I don't think. Man. This is just bad luck right? Surely? That 5/8 people voted out were my allies/tribemates and that everyone just stupidly targeted me/Alyssa when Cyrena is already depleted? They'd all have to be fucking morons to keep that up this time with us 4. They'd have to be. There is nothing remotely threatening about the 4 of us we have NO ONE. I just don't trust anyone on this cast to be intelligent at the moment, which is unfortunate.

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So I felt confident going in but now its like...if Im not careful this is just gonna blow up. By voting one of Michael/Drew/Chloe out, theyre gonna feel betrayed. Even though we do have a fair reason to do it theyre not gonna see it that way. If I do Matt then they could at least think of at least he didnt vote us. But I am beginning to think it is inevitable that its going to be shown that the Betty Whites rumor started from Loris but through me by proxy. Jack is waiting on a name to be told so lying to him creates another problem. Like dont get me wrong I trust the 8 more but I dont want to sideline my game for their goals. This may be messy

Woo ok ok ok so uh yea. THIS ROUND HAS BEEN WILD AND THERES NOT EVEN A NAME. Firstly rip alyssa she was robbed and her idol would be really nice to have right now but um she died dude. It feels so good to be so close to winning and actually getting POSITIVES. Now for the bad, this is the first time that I feel like o have no idea what the fuck to do I’m honestly stuck! But I never give up I came here to win I’ve waited too long to fucking play to give up when the going gets tough, I have no loyalties except to myself and if I have to snake everyone out to reach the top that’s what I’ll do.

So like ya I think I'm kinda fucked. If you're not gay or friends with a few select people , you're definitely on the outs and it's really annoying. I know my game is trash but still lemme be somewhat bitter for goodness sake! It's very clear anyone who was on cyrena 1.0/2.0 is in danger on the bottom, which is super dumb cause it's literally just circumstantial but hey I can't do anything bout it. I'm over these people and want to slap them out of the game. So fake and I'm just awaiting my death honestly.time to off myself!!!1!!1

4 hours till tribal and nobody’s heard anything hmmmm..... I’m gonna die!

AHHH! we merged! and the one person I was most fine with leaving left!! she was rlly nice tho... sorry alyssa :(. umm... so like this round is one of the two rounds I can play my legacy.. which is rlly scary because I’m gonna be even more paranoid now that I have an option to confirm my fate this tribal and potentially save myself.. But like if I need it now I’ll probably need it very soon and if I’m not playing to win what’s the point? So. I’m gonna save it. I’m gonna be the only player to have a legacy advantage, and I’m gonna have it for the entirety of the two seasons meaning it was never passed... woo! tribal is a mess but I think names are coming out and I’m not 13th? or at least I hope so

Sooooo a new alliance has been formed here on the Asteria Tribe. An 8 person alliance consisting of everyone outside of Betty White's influence.

(Me, Chris, Jared, Mitch, Bryce, Loris, Rhys, and Zach)

I think this might be the biggest alliance I've ever been in period? LOL

So we came up with a plan for this vote. It's a simple plan! Vote Drew, but say we're voting Matt so the other side wastes idols if they have them. Barring any other crazy advantages mixing in, I think it should be simple. There are some risks though.

This plan requires that I have trust in my 8 which is kind of essential anyway with such a large merge. If I don't have their trust, I don't have anything going forward. Still, it's a big risk no matter what.

I know Matt wants to get rid of me (I learned through Chris) tonight as well, and I've talked to Jack and he seems to obviously be on the same page. It's just about trust. I can't really blame them for sticking together. I wish they'd pick an Orfeo to target instead of me but it is what it is. I spent the last few rounds of pre-merge trying to set up this alliance and I'm not gonna flip on it for people who want me out tonight.

This could end up being my last confessional, though, and that's sad to think about. I've tried my best in this game and especially today to make sure my allies are all rock-solid. I wasn't able to keep the opposition from wanting me out though, which was a bit of a mistake but whatever.

Right now the vote seems to be on Matt and that’s unlikely to change so time to go with the majority woo.

About an hour until tribal and I still haven’t been approached by many people at all lol! Let’s see where this goes because I have a feeling this vote could flop super easily. Au Revior Cyrena because hopefully only one will be left after tonight

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Hehe YOIKES SO Stephen is now more of a tangible target to go home so either way I’m shaking out a player which is like mood but it’s time to play a game and if Stephen is not good for my game because he’s a big threat and I trust Matt more than he’s gone.

This cast is a bunch of cowards. Everyone has spent all day being too nervous to say a fucking name and now that there is names going around everyone’s just dipping in and out of being offline. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person right now presenting as active. But do I have a single person in my messages? DO I FUCK.

Here I was thinking maybe we'd have a shot, Chloe and Zach indicating they'd rather not vote out Matt while Chris and Mitch want to work with me. Now, 30 minutes before tribal, I find myself in the exact same spot as last time: a minority number confirmed from my allies, and people being shady about if they're with my plan or not. It shouldn't be me this time, hell I wouldn't be shocked though if they split 5-4-4. Anti-Cyrena is a fucking disease and these assholes need to be cleansed, but I just know in my gut Matt is going and only the 4 of us are voting Stephen. Fuck this noise man all star seasons suck

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I've also heard Stephen's name from Chloe so that makes me feel good because he is on the lower end of my priorities in my group if he is idoled out. Could be a diversion too. Anyways I still hope Drew goes.

Omg so I lied about us being able to get out Stephen I can’t believe I did that I’m so random ahah time to snake out matt sorry my Coventry love.

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Drew is voted out 8-3-2.

#episode #shinebright

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