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moongreenlight · 8 months

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“Realistic Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley headcanons” and then it’s just the fun police.

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

- It makes me want to scoop my fucking brain out with a spoon when people say that Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley is some shy, anxious soft boy. I really do not believe he’d need to be coddled after a nightmare or babied when he’s feeling angsty. He is fine, y’all. Please don’t call paw patrol.

He is a soldier. He’s a war criminal. He is traumatized to the point of numbness. He is fucked up and weird and insane and honestly I think that we should all let everybody have their thing.

I cannot fix him. I do not want to fix him. I can only make him worse.

- Sorry but I just cannot write him having any kind of romantic feelings toward Soap. I like writing their dynamic more brotherly.

Furthest they’ve gone is ‘locker room gay.’

Like Johnny sends him dick pics on occasion because he thinks it’s funny and it pisses Ghost off.

That being said, I do read the occasional Ghoap fic. I’m not a perfect person. Sometimes it’s just yummy delicious.

- Feel like he’s the kind of freak to intentionally go to the gym without headphones. Something about discipline. Opting to just stare at the wall in front of him while he’s doing cardio or counting repetitions of exercises.

But on the rare occasion that he does indulge himself, he has a playlist of like 5-6 songs he likes and when it ends he just goes back to silence. Divorced dad rock. Chorded headphones only.

- Doesn’t have the debilitating commitment issues as people paint him out to have. Just commitment-phobic. Obviously stems from his past. He’s got that sexy deep rooted fear of abandonment or something horrible happening to people he actually lets close to him. But he’s not completely turned off by the idea of romantic attachments or close friends, just a little hesitant to open himself up to that kind of opportunity.

Probably very cagey about romantic partners. Doesn’t want the guys to know about you. Doesn’t keep pictures of you around his bunk or anything like that. He’s worried it’ll somehow compromise your safety. Worried about you getting swept up in his work.

- Women’s rights? Or Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley? I really do think he’d love to have a partner who lets him provide *everything* for them. He just wants to serve and protect. Wants his bird to be in a gilded cage all nice and safe and reliant on him for survival.

Doesn’t even really like the idea of you going to the grocery store by yourself. Would prefer if you just stayed put and tended his home and cooked him meals and let him dote on you and provide everything you could ever need.

- Has a really strange understanding of technology. He’s fine with the newer military stuff. That’s his element. He can do electrical wiring, set up a TV, install security cameras. That’s all whatever. But a cell phone? He doesn’t give a shit enough to keep up with the new updates and all the new things you have to learn when you get a smartphone. Wishes he would have kept a flip phone.

Texts like this: [OK. See youtonight.]

MAYBE has a private Facebook with no profile picture where the only things on his wall are Price wishing him a happy birthday every year.

His camera roll is like; 97 accidental screenshots of his Lock Screen, a few pictures of him and the task force boys, the inside of his pocket (another accident), a sunrise, a few cool things he found on missions, 34 pictures of Soap and Gaz when they took his phone.

- Insufferable in the early stages of trying to date him. Little to no communication other than basically demanding you meet him somewhere. Texting or talking on the phone? Like pulling fucking teeth. You think he’d rather be dead.

It was a headache getting him to go out in the first place. Maybe you worked at a bar where the guys would come to have a drink after a long day. He’s a little stand-offish but he’s handsome and he knows how to banter well enough for you to be persuaded by a coworker to slip him your number after you complained one too many times about a shit hookup or yet another terrible first date. It takes him nearly two weeks to phone you.

“Didn’t think you’d call.”

“Didn’t think I would either.”

He takes you out once, you think he seems sort-of interested, then he doesn’t phone or text you back for three days. You get over it. A few more dates in. You can tell he’s a bit more relaxed. A bit more open. You’re less worried that you’re a terrible conversationalist. Then he goes on a month long deployment without saying anything in advance. Radio fucking silent yet again. You want to tear your hair out. When he finally gets back, he’ll text you something like [Atthat pub you like. Drinks ?] completely out of the blue. You think you may actually go insane.

- Once he’s gotten used to you, it’s like the sole purpose of his life is to be your protector even if you’ve only recently convinced yourself he may want something casual. You’re small and grab-able. He knows how nasty people can be and what think when they see you. He needs to know that you’re taken care of, kept safe from such a scary world.

So he’ll just linger around you. All the time. Standing behind you when you’re at the till at the store, staring down the cashier who was only trying to be friendly when they asked if you had any fun plans for the rest of the day. Big arms folded over his chest. Looming so largely he threatens to eclipse you without taking a single step forward. Eyes burning a hole into the poor person who hastily finishes the transaction without another word.

Walking silently next to you in the evenings after you’re both off work; close enough to brush shoulders, but that’s about it. Listening to you chirp on about your day. Occasionally offering a small grunt of acknowledgement or a few words of interjection. Always walks on the side of the path that he thinks could pose you the most immediate danger. Shielding you from what may lurk in a darkened alley or a hedge or a small thicket of trees.

Scary dog privilege, but like… for when you go to fill your car up with gas in broad daylight in a good part of town and he insists on standing out there with you. ‘Just in case’ If he even lets you out of the car in the first place.

- AND OFF THAT POINT. I think once he’s decided that he’s actually fond of you, it goes from zero to a hundred so fast it makes your head spin.

Like the last time you spoke, it was still unclear on if you were keeping things casual or not and now you’re at dinner and the waiter just asked him if the two of you wanted dessert and Simon just grunts “dunno. Ask the missus.” ??? He sucks so bad I NEED him.

- As much as I love an overly possessive and jealous Simon, I saw this tweet that said “My girlfriend can wear what she wants because she’s a hoe and I knew that before we started dating” and it changed my life.

He’s secure enough not to need to cause a scene if someone makes a pass on you in public. He understands that you’re attractive and that other people are bound to find you attractive too. (Not that he doesn’t still want to pull their fingernails out one by one, threatening them and everything they love for daring to exist near you. He’s just got better control over himself than that. King.)

He knows he’s better than any of your other options. Nobody else could keep you as safe as he could. They don’t know the world like he does. They don’t know how breakable you are. How sweet and naive you can be.

Not to say he isn’t overly jealous and possessive, he just won’t pitch a fit in public.

LIKE dragging him to the bar with your friends and he sits at the table with all of your drinks. Him watching you dancing out of the corner of his eye, seeing some prat come up and grab your ass in passing. Or a group of guys dancing with your friends getting a little *too* close to you for his liking. He doesn’t do anything while the two of you are out- not wanting to ruin your fun. But that night after you’ve gotten back to his flat (He insisted. Closer to the bar. Uber was cheaper.) and he’s tearing your miniskirt off like it’s personally offended him. He’ll be a little rougher. A little more liberal with the marks his mouth leaves on your collarbones and inner thighs. His strong hands will grab at the fat of your hips a little harder than he should- leaving bruises where his fingers dug in. He’ll lean over you while you’re split open with his length, snarling down at you. “Had everyone’s attention tonight, didn’t you, pet?“ “You like havin’ eyes on you?” “Greedy fuckin’ slag.” “Can’t appreciate what you have.” “Need a reminder of who you’ve got to impress.” Maybe he’ll take you in front of a mirror, massive hand fixed on your jaw. Jerking your face up so you have to look at yourself being ruined by him. How pretty and slutty you look when your makeup is ruined by the tears he’s fucking out of you.

- He calls you ‘bird’ or ‘pet’ more often than anything else. A little on the nose for how he treats you. Like you’re some small, frail thing that can’t go a day without him. Stripped of your natural survival instincts and instead leaning on him for support and comfort and food and shelter. Just how he likes it.

GOD he’s a fucking freak. Gross and mean and fucked in the head. Makes my stomach hurt. I hate him. I wish I was schizophrenic so I could vividly hallucinate him.

#simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #call of duty #simon riley smut #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #cod x reader #call of duty smut #cod smut #141 headcanons #headcanon #drabble

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love-belle · 11 months

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us and our cats !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which he is streaming and being a simp simultaneously.

for when it's just you both and your cats. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

real life // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language.

author's note - this one made me want to be in a relationship SO bad :/// i really hope you like it, thank u so much for reading, i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °real life ꒱

"hello everyone!" lando exclaimed as he started the stream, adjusting his equipment. "hello! hi!"

he watched as more and more people joined the stream, feeling excited because this would be his first stream in a few weeks and he clearly missed doing this.

"sorry, i'm just having a bit of a technical issue here," he apologized, leaning down and messing with the wires. "i think one of the cats messed with the wiring or something. they're always fucking up one thing or the other."

lando looked up at the screen, his eyes taking in all the comments, trying his hardest to read the most of them. "show cats? you want me to show you the cats?"

he looked back towards his room, eyes sweeping across as he tried to figure if at least one was in the room and when it became that he was alone, he huffed, shaking his head slightly. "i think they're with y/n, always favour her over me."

his tone turned slightly offended, as if the prospect of the cats, fish and casserole, loving his girlfriend more was simply out of this world. he paused for a second, before leaning forward to grab something off the desks and holding it up for the stream to see.

"that reminds me," he started, placing the headphones on top of his head carefully and smoothing out the crocheted piece in the middle of the band with a proud look, "look at what my girlfriend made me."

it was a simple thing, really. just two crocheted leaves tied in the middle of his headphones, green providing a stark contrast against the black and it almost looked like he was wearing a crown or something. all in all, it was just simply adorable.

now, it may have been simple but to lando, it was everything. he had almost burst out in tears when y/n first showed him her creation, a proud yet nervous look on her face that faded away as soon as he saw what she was showing him. he'd hugged her, kissed her, told her that he loved it more than anything else he owned and sent more than 50 selfies of him wearing those damn headphones to every single person he knew. simply because his girlfriend made that for him and he'd be damned if he didn't show it off.

"how fucking adorable is this, huh?" he chuckled, proudly looking in the camera as the two leaves sat upon his head. he'd been doing this as soon as he'd gotten them, always wearing them whenever there was an online meeting or when he was facetiming someone — he'd wear them any chance he could get. "god, i love her."

the comments were full of love, adoration and support for the couple, fans screaming about how much in love lando was and the said person couldn't help but agree.

yes, he was so in love.

"thank you, guys," lando blushed slightly, chuckling as he read through the comments. "you're all really sweet — no, i cannot fight. thank you for asking, though."

"who's trying to fight you?"

lando jumped slightly in his seat, turning back around to find y/n standing by the door, raising an eyebrow at him.

"just one of your fans," lando laughed, beckoning her towards him as he turned back around. "nope, not just one. plural, they're multiplying."

"well, can you?" y/n teased him, walking towards him as lando rolled his eyes, fond smile on his lips.

"for you, of course, i can," he turned to face her and shot her a wink, a cocky smirk on his face that had her shaking her head and laughing. "come on! don't laugh at me."

"sorry, baby," y/n leaned down and kissed his cheek, lingering for a few seconds before pulling back and straightening up. "i'll leave you to stream, now."

"what? no, stay," lando looked up at her, his eyes pleading for her to stay. "please, it'll be fun and the viewers love you."

"lando — "

"y/n, please?"

y/n sighed and lando couldn't help but grin, knowing that he had won her over. with a smooth move, he had grabbed her waist and was quick to pull her down to sit on his lap.

"woah, okay," y/n chuckled nervously, her hands holding onto lando's as he worked on whatever he had to. "this is nice."

"i know, right?" lando glanced at her before kissing her temple, his smile never leaving his face. "this is fun."

"i bet it is," y/n chuckled, squinting her eyes to read the comments flooding in. "'you're both my parents,' thank you angel. oh, another one that says 'y/n is so mother' that means so much to me, you're all too kind."

"i am so confused right now," lando mumbled, laughing slightly when more comments came in, mostly about y/n and their relationship.

"it's okay," y/n tilted her head to look at him, shifting slightly on his lap which made him tighten his hand around her waist. "i should start doing this with you more often."

"if you sit like this, you're more than welcome to join me everyday," lando whispered to her, a cheeky smirk on his face that melted into giggles when y/n hit his arm lightly, feeling flustered because hundreds of thousands of people could hear them at the moment and that thought was — well, it was scary. "sorry not sorry for speaking my mind."

"oh my god," y/n muttered to herself, grabbing onto the desk in front of her as lando leaned forward all of a sudden, his hands adjusting the computer screen before he settled back, a soft 'sorry' leaving him as he made sure she was comfortable. "i should get my own chair. it's hard."

"it sure is," lando retorted almost immediately, snickering as the innuendo registered in his girlfriend's brain, her mouth agape as she stared at him. "what? c'mon! the opportunity was right there. this one's kinda on you."

"i swear, it's like i'm back in high school," y/n mumbled, standing up and leaving to get another chair, her voice echoing in the hallway as she called for their babies — their cats.

"love you, darling!" lando called out, the grin never leaving his face. once again, the chat went wild with the interaction between the couple, red hearts flooding in and uppercase letters making lando blush slightly. "sorry guys, she distracted me. back on the stream — 'do you have any plans for tonight?' yes, we do! we're going to this art gallery that y/n had wanted to check out for a while and after that we'll be having dinner, so, there's that. i'm excited, it's always fun to visit galleries with y/n because she knows stuff, like the real stuff about art, paintings and sculptures and all and it's so cool because it's like having your own little personal guide — except this one calls you a dumbfuck way too often."

lando had a lovesick smile on his face as he spoke, laughing in between sentences. it was always like this, someone — anyone would ask a question and he'd somehow manage to link it to y/n and then there was no hope for any further continuation of that conversation because if there was one thing lando could talk about endlessly, it was y/n.

sometimes it would be about what she had baked for him, what she painted in her free time, or this video of casserole slapping fish she had sent him and other times, it would be about y/n being upset about something and him asking for advice or when she had crocheted him those two leaves and it was all he could talk about for weeks.

"'how long have you been together?' we celebrated our two year anniversary a few weeks ago!" lando answered happily, smile never flattering at the thought of their celebration. "we started dating in october, though she wasn't my girlfriend until late december, so yeah.

"'how many cats do you have?' we have two cats, fish and casserole," lando replied, rolling his eyes fondly at the thought of their little demons. "they're little pieces of shit, i swear. they're always out to get me like — i always knew they liked y/n more than me but you should see them when i'm around like — it's like they're calling me 'bitch' over and over in their kitty language and it's so — "

a soft meow interrupted him, a confused on his face as he looked behind him to see where it came from. a few seconds passed before he heard it again, this time it was clear that it came from under the desk. with a hesitant push against the desk, he pushed his chair back and leaned down to see under it and saw two eyes blinking back at him, almost twinkling in the dark.

"fuck."

with a careful grip, he carefully pulled casserole from under the desk, holding her against his chest and he turned towards the stream, a nervous look on his face.

"y/n's gonna kill me for calling her precious baby a little piece of shit with her present in the room."

"you called my baby a what?!"

#f1 x female reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagines #lando norris imagines #lando norris imagine #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris f1 #lando norris fanfic #lando norris blurb #lando norris drabble

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