#these stories are always partially true btw

[commodorecliche]

downside of working in healthcare (aside from all the other obvious downsides, of course) is that sometimes you will see a post on here talking about some fantastical story (usually written to be funny) that happened to someone in a healthcare setting and you're like... "yeah, no, that's not how that works, that's not how any of that works"

[pivsketch]

Salamander Salazar is an acrobatic high flyer "evil mastermind thief guy" and Bandit Bandit is his henchman/bodyguard/muscle. They were mischievous heels that would always be causing trouble, but just like any quality comical villain bad guy, Salazar's hubris would usually get him in over his head and be his downfall.

Here's them doing a tag team move™:

Anyway these are all several years before the events of the story. Salazar is Taggart's tag partner that had to leave midway through the tournament! He's also his childhood friend/mentor too.

under the cut is more lore/backstory stuff:

Salamander Salazar is the older neighborhood kid that got Taggart into wrestling when Taggart was just a lil kid. Salazar taught him how to (pro) wrestle over the years and after Taggart turned 18, Sal mysteriously started having a new sidekick/henchman he'd do tag team matches with.

Winning the TAGCEN tournament gets you qualified for the "big prestigious semi-invitational continental tag team tournament" where all the best tag teams compete to see who is The Absolute Best. Salazar's biggest claim to fame was the one time he stole the TAGCEN tournament first place medals from the true champions* and used them to enter into the invitational. The resulting shenanigans were fun enough that it led to the rules being changed to make the TAGCEN qualification entirely based on physically possessing those winning medals lol. (TAGCEN is partially ran by someone who loves chaos, after all.)

It made things pretty wild and chaotic for a few years after, but people stopped taking advantage of this over the years and nowadays its a mostly forgotten edge-case type rule. Also btw Sal (and Bandit²) got their asses absolutely trounced in the invitational tournament. If they couldn't win a qualifier, of course they wouldn't be able to survive in the big leagues!!

Bandit Bandit's tenure only lasted 3 short years for whatever reason (concidentally, this was around the same time regular good guy solo wrestler Taggart left wrestling to help out at his parents' bakery, hmm) and Salazar forged onwards on his own. Over the years his mischievous ambitions have mellowed out and he became one of those sarcastic good guy antihero types.

In modern times, Salazar reentered the TAGCEN tournament with a better tag team partner: Taggart, his childhood friend/protege that had recently returned to wrestling. His goal was to win the TAGCEN tourney outright and then go on to win the big invitational, redeeming himself for that failed run several years prior. They were absolutely killing it, but then Salazar got a really good offer from a major overseas promotion he couldn't turn down, and had to leave midway through the TAGCEN tournament. Alas! Salazar's tag team story is left unrealized!

Taggart still gets to wrestle in the remaining round robin matches at least. But, cmon, it's not like anything interesting is going to happen with that, right...? hee hee 🙂

* the winning tag team ended up with a injury right before the invitational and could not compete, and this was way more fun of an alternative than just having an empty slot!

[strvberrydoll]

Hi, I'm hoping you'll answer this <3

Well i'd like to knoe what do you think about my headcanon: Since Jack was an accident I really don't think John and Abigail were in a relationship before, i even feel like john wasn't really in love witj her until she lefts him in the epilogue. And i hc that he grow out to love her after all and it wasn't exactly love on his side ( icant say the same about abigail cause she constantly tells the members that she cares about him) otherwise it really dont make sense to me how he waited 8 years before proposing her and his interaction with sadie when she says something positive about abigail and john says 'so everyone keeps telling me' so kinda like he was forced or something to love her because of how much he owes him (she literally gave him a new life) and the gang members' force on him ( i hope you get what i'm saying eng isnt my first language so :( ) BTW REALLLYYY looking forward to john fic you were talking about keep up the good work <3

hii !!

thank you for sharing your headcanon it’s always entertaining reading and analyzing bits of lore from rdr2.

I partially agree with you ! While we know that Abigail always had a soft spot for John since her early days in the gang I feel like John started to actually fall in love with Abigail sometime around chapter 3 or 4, Jack’s kidnapping being a big factor for his newfound sense of duty for his family.

Before chapter 4 (and a small bit through chapter 5-6) the major factor for John’s lack (fear) of love for Abigail and Jack is his own self doubt. He grew up without a mother, his father wasn’t exactly the best father around and he died when John was eight. Aside from the weird fatherly dynamic that Hosea and Dutch had with John and Arthur, he didn’t have a father figure in his life. He doesn’t know the first thing about being a father (as he states in chapter 2, i believe) because essentially he didn’t have one.

So, rather than being a fucked up father to a child he wasn’t sure was his he ran away, thinking that was for the best interests of both him and Jack, in his own twisted way. But this is where it gets interesting, Abigail was an orphan too. She also didn’t have a father or mother figure in her life, yet she made sure Jack had one, that’s why she’s always nagging at John to just speak to Jack, because she knows the pain of not having a parent, of not having someone to call Pa.

I feel like John, throughout the whole story of rdr2 and even before the events that we see, always liked Abigail—maybe not as much as Abigail loved him but he did have a thing for her. Another interesting interaction is where in chapter 2 Bill and John are talking and John drunkly calls Abigail ‘my sweet’. When drunk we’re most likely to be more straightforward with our thoughts and emotions and John calling her ‘my sweet’ is a small glimpse of his true feelings for her. He cares for her, but he’s afraid. He doubts himself so much that he has blinded himself from what was really in front of him. That’s why almost everyone in the gang constantly reminds him of how lucky he is to have a girl such as Abigail by his side.

For the whole marriage situation i think it’s pretty much straightforward. We need to take account that they were the 1800s, during those times having a child before marriage was considered something to be ashamed of, a sin for christians so, those who had children before marriage often faked their marriage in order to not be scorned by society. Now, we know that John and Abigail didn’t exactly live in society, they were outlaws, but still they had a child and that bound them together. That’s why when John proposes to Abigail on the boat she tells him ‘but we’re already married’ through the eye of society and social norms they were married, still John wanted for Abigail a proper marriage, a proper new start for their lives.

And that could only have happened if he left his outlaw days for good, if he took revenge for Arthur, for the whole gang. That’s why we see John and Abigail officially wed after he kills Micah and ultimately takes his revenge.

ok I yapped enough imma end it here ! thank you for sharing your headcanon and for waiting on my John fic ! Next week im gonna post the plot but unfortunately you have to wait a bit for the actual chapters to come because I have a big exam coming up with uni in September and im dedicating most of my time studying :(( take care and feel free to share more headcanons <33

[dangraccoon]

Oyuba’din - Chapter 27: Focus

Summary: As the Batch struggles with the loss of one of their own, Hunter tracks something the others can't see.

Warnings: discussion of major character death, grief, mention of torture and near death experiences

Author’s Note: Hope y'all don't hate me right now 😅 btw there’s going to be an epilogue 🤘

3 4?! chapters remain

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“‘How many time’s she’s’ what?” Hunter asked.

Sinya shook her head rapidly. “I said too much, I can’t-”

Hunter moved in close. “Tell us…now,” he growled.

The intimidation sunk into the twi’lek, and she appeared to become more uncomfortable by the second. She swallowed, her fingers fidgeting. 

“How many times she’s died.”

“She- that’s not possible,” Echo muttered, eyes wide.

“It’s a curse,” Sinya shrugged. “It happened when she was young. She doesn’t like to-”

“Unless she was resuscitated, it would have been impossible for her to have died,” Tech interjected.

Crosshair shook his head. “But that blaster shot she took before she was assigned to us; she couldn’t have survived that, right?” 

“I mean, she’s here, isn’t she?” Sinya replied. “Obi Wan told me about that one. It was pretty rough.” 

“You can say that again; that shot knocked her out of the frontlines for six weeks,” Echo scowled.

“We’re still not sure what she lost that time,” she hummed, mouth pulling into a tight line. “She won’t go through the list with me, not that she’s added anything to it recently anyway.”

“Jainey loses stuff, too? I lose stuff all the time,” Wrecker chuckled nervously, earning a sharp look from Hunter. 

“She doesn’t lose objects like that. She loses memories. Obi Wan told me that the first one she lost was of her first love.”

Tech cleared his throat. “Her-”

“That isn’t something I’ll tell you,” Sinya interrupted, her words forming a sharp edge. “That story is hers to tell if she wants.”

Wrecker shifted his weight between his feet, eyes trained at the floor. “What if she- will she forget us?”

“Wrecker-” Tech’s voice came, vague irritation along with it. 

“I don’t know,” Sinya answered, the corners of her mouth coming up in a reassuring smile. “But I don’t think she could forget you boys if she tried.” 

Wrecker nodded, a small grin matching hers. 

The rest of the recording included Sinya saying her goodbyes and a brief squabble over taking watches. 

“So it’s true then; she has to come back. She’s cursed to come back,” Crosshair rasped, his voice still shaky, as he combed Jaine’s hair away from her face, her head in his lap. “She has to come back.”

“Cuir’ika,” Tech said, his voice low. “We cannot begin to understand how this supposed curse works, or if it exists at all.”

“She has to come back,” Crosshair repeated, making it clear that he wasn’t listening to his twin any longer. 

Tech sighed, pulling himself to his feet. Camp had been made here at the bank of the river, despite Tech pointing out that it was not an ideal place to set up, even for a short period of time. But there was no moving his brother. 

Tech walked the short distance to the small shelter Hunter and Wrecker set up.

“Still won’t budge?” Hunter asked, already knowing the answer. 

Tech gave a small nod. “His vitals show no sign of deterioration, even if he seems to be in shock.”

Hunter hummed an acknowledgment. 

“Have Echo and Wrecker had any luck finding a signal?”

Hunter sighed. “Last he checked in, he was trying to find a tall tree to climb. We managed to get a partial message through to Cody, but it wasn’t much.”

Tech nodded. For the first time since- well, ever in his life, everything seemed still. The numerous sounds that always surrounded him, constantly pulling him in and whipping his brain into a faster pace, seemed to be somewhat quieter now. He could still hear them if he listened; the rush of the water flowing down the river, the leaves rustling as the wind shook their branches, Crosshair’s quiet, reassuring mantra. 

“You look tired,” Hunter noted, having watched Tech’s eyes close as he concentrated on what he could hear. “You should rest.”

“I have the most training in field medical aid out of the rest of us,” Tech replied. “I should be alert if anything were to happen.”

“Tech-”

“I am fine, Hunter,” Tech asserted as he began to tap rapidly at his data pad. 

Hunter sighed heavily. “Tech, don’t you think it’s time you stopped lying to me?”

“I am not-” Tech began, but was cut off by the tired incredulous look on Hunter’s face. 

“We’ve never…lost one of our own,” Hunter lamented, his eyes focusing on Crosshair by the riverbank. “Years of testing and training and torture, hundreds of missions, too many close calls, but we made it through it all. But now…”

Tech watched as Hunter’s eyes squeezed closed, noticed the way his jaw and fists clenched, saw his shoulders slump almost imperceptibly, heard his breaths quicken. He always had to see the details- all of the details. He put it together in his head; it had been a long time since he had seen these tiny clues on his eldest brother. Hunter was scared- terrified, really. 

“Sol’ika,” Tech whispered, knowing it would be loud enough for his brother to hear. “This is not your fault.”

Before Hunter could begin to respond, a small ping sounded from his vambrace, followed by a shout from Wrecker, not far away.  

“It’s Cody,” he said, standing up. 

“Sergeant,” Cody greeted, the sound of blaster fire and explosions in the background.  “Heard you boys are out on Damussa, but you said this was urgent?”

“Yes, sir,” Hunter uttered. His heart had dropped into his boots and his mouth felt drier than the sands of Tatooine. “Commander, Is the General available? This message concerns both of you.”

“We’re a bit busy,” Cody hummed, his head snapping towards some sound that barely came through the static. “Can this possibly wait?”

“Commander, it’s-”

Another explosion sounded through the comm, followed by a crash and a loud grunt.

“Hello dear,” Obi Wan’s voice dripped like honey. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Sergeant Hunter, you’ve got your window now. Make it quick.”

Hunter tried to steady his breath. “General Kenobi, sir. It’s J-...I regret to inform you that Lieutenant Vale-”

The words choked in his throat, the air in his lungs seemed to turn to lead. 

Through the static of the signal, the blaster fire, the bombs, Hunter could make out Kenobi’s faint voice. “Jainera?”

The line continued with simply the background noise of war.

“Thank you for informing us, Hunter,” Obi Wan finally answered, his voice a schooled calm, but lacking its usual character. “We are less remote and will have better luck getting a message through to Sinya on Coruscant. Stay safe, Sergeant.”

With that, the line cut, and Hunter sank back down onto the log he’d been occupying before, praying to gods he couldn’t believe in for…someone- anyone to guide him through this.

Starlight, a quiet voice hummed in his ears, causing his whole body to tense up. His hair stood on end as his eyes darted around.

“Hunter?” Tech questioned, but his voice seemed distant.

Relax, the voice called again.

Hunter scowled as he stood up, eyes searching the area. He couldn’t see anyone - or anything - that could be calling to him like this. He was vaguely aware of Tech vying for his attention, asking if he was okay or what he was hearing, but right now he could hear a threat and he needed to gather information.

I’m no threat, Starlight.

Hunter just about growled, somewhat startling Tech.

“Hunter,” he repeated, placing his hand on his brother’s shoulder, following his line of sight towards Crosshair and Jaine.

“There,” Hunter breathed, slowly approaching the riverbank. The unshakable focus in his expression and the way his stance adjusted reminded Tech of a predator stalking some prey, and not for the first time.

Thanks for reading! - River

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[hiejindraws]

Key differences between Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu!! and Gekidan Haikyuu!! (+ Review)

Btw don’t ask me for scans of the pamphlet or bromides bc I didn’t buy them. The only merch I bought was a t-shirt and a towel ok BABY’S ON A BUDGET.

• No “hyper projection” and no rotating stage

• Less emphasis on music and dancing, more on acting

• The stage is level and not on an incline. This means the volleyball net could be on wheels and be rolled around on the stage (in fact, most of the set pieces were on wheels)

• No epic opening or closing sequences

• Very few (if any, I don’t remember) musical interludes—really, there was music only during the volleyball matches

• No Seijoh/Oikawa theme music 🥲 or Nekoma theme (for when they’re briefly mentioned in the announcement of the GW training camp)

• More characters! Seijoh actors doubled as Yukigaoka players/all FOUR members of the Karasuno Neighborhood Association, not just Shimada and Takinoue!

• They really fleshed out the Yukigaoka vs. Kitaichi game! Like, Hinata had actual teammates, it wasn’t just him and Kagz 1 v 1 on the court like it was in the first Haisute (although, I guess it wasn’t technically 1 v 1 then either bc Kindaichi and Kunimi were also there)

• They included even more scenes from the series and stayed even truer to the source material. I think leaving out the music and intense dance breaks opened up a lot of room for this

Some callbacks to Engeki:

• Hinata hums the tune to a musical motif from Engeki but I cannot for the life of me remember which one it was even though I JUST saw it today. If I had to guess (bc the scene involved Hinata imitating Kagz), it was Kageyama’s theme from the first Haisute when he whips off his cape and crown.

• Ennoshita (AND Kinoshita AND NARITA!!) do the “SE〜NO” synchronized clap with the audience (and it made me so so SOOOO happy!!)

Review:

Overall, this production seemed less “dramatic” in the sense that the entire performance (the acting, music, and choreo/blocking) felt very subdued compared to its predecessor. There was certainly a different energy in the theater this time around. My blood didn’t get pumping the same way it did when I saw Start of the Giant and The Tokyo Battle in-person. I believe this artistic direction was intentional. I’m just not sure it’s sustainable.

What I always appreciated the most about Engeki was that the stage performances perfectly matched the high levels of energy the anime possessed. In fact, I would argue it brought even MORE energy than the anime did or ever could in large part due to Wada Shunsuke’s memorable musical compositions and HIDALI’s ingenious choreo.

Music and dance have always been core elements of the OG Haisute to the point that each show had it’s own unique opening/closing sequence, each team had it’s own musical and dance motif, and certain reoccurring events had their own identifiable themes (e.g. the starting lineup before any given match). The true magic of Engeki lied in the music and dancing. Obviously, the cast brought their own magic by always giving 150% to their performances, but they were also matching the energy the music brought THROUGH their dancing/acrobatics. It’s all intricately woven together.

OH, not to mention the original production’s partial namesake: the projections! There was always a level of suspended reality when watching Engeki because the light projections literally helped to merge the manga with the stage. They transformed the stage and backdrop into anything and everything the story needed—manga panels, speech bubbles, a sunset, a volleyball net. They also synced with, you guessed it, the MUSIC to give an absolutely outstanding audio-visual experience.

It really hit me hard when I entered the theater to see that it really was… just a regular stage.

That’s why I question if this production (and any future ones they may have planned) is sustainable. Not in the financial sense… but just in the way of retaining interest. It didn’t get me hooked the same way Engeki did, so I don’t think I’m able to give it the same level of enthusiasm. I’m hard-pressed to believe others feel the same way. Don’t get me wrong—I enjoyed it. It wasn’t bad. It didn’t take anything away from the series… I’m just not sure it added anything to it, either. Sure, there was music and dancing, but it just paled in comparison to what we were gifted by Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu. Makes me wonder why they would take so many steps back with this production.

All that being said… I’m glad I went. I truly did enjoy myself and the cast put their all into these characters. And if nothing else, I’m glad to have gone in support of Suga Kenta (OG Hinata) in his Haisute directorial debut.

[hyukassubi]

SUBI'S EXTRAVAGANT REVIEW ON GROSS!

A couple months ago, I have read, dare I say, the most dramatic fic I've ever laid my two eyes upon (in a good way!!).

It was (nearly) everything I thought I would NEVER enjoy: situationships, flawed main character, drama.

Yet here I am... Absolutely pleased with the drama-filled, humourous rollercoaster of a romance that supposedly had no chance of growing into something more.

Warning, this review is bound to contain spoilers so if you haven't read @moamidzyism 's 'Gross!' yet, read it here! Now that that's out of the way, ON WITH THE REVIEW!!!

Yes, you can like unlikable characters, actually!!

Never would I've thought in a million years I'd end up rooting for a 'bad' main character. I assume a good chunk of us have been shoved in the face countless of times by the media what 'good' main characters are supposed to look like. Like we were programmed by society to like the good heroes and pull out our stakes and pitchforks for the evil villains.

I was in a reading rut for the longest time (I still am tbh 😭😭) and I always thought perhaps the stuff I was reading didn't fit me anymore? Was it the genre? The writing style? No. None of that. I was simply bored of always reading 'perfect' stories with 'good' characters and expecting plot lines.

It is genuinely so very astounding how, in my lifetime, I stumbled upon a 'badly written' y/n and still ended up enjoying her journey and the overall plot of the fic. Moral of the story aside, 'Gross!' has absolutely helped shift my perspective on 'reading what I enjoy' and 'enjoying what I'm reading'.

Character dynamics

I love how everyone has their own little friend group and super top secret bestie groupchat convos, definitely adds to the drama and complexity of the story as a whole.

All the friend groups are so different and although the 'yeonjun-taehyun-yuck!yn' gc is my favorite of them all (a buncha sassy silver-tongued fellas (ESP YUCK!YN, what's not there to love?) I LOVE THE 'B🐶s WHO BRUNCH' SO MUCH TOOOOOO.

I'm not into itzy but Chaeryoeng and Yeji y'all, Chaeryoeng and Yeji UGHH THEY'RE SO SUPPORTIVE AND LOVING ESP TO GROSS!YN, TRULY RAISING THE STANDARDS FOR FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS AND BEING A GIRL'S GIRL

I can definitely learn a thing or two from them too, growing up as someone who's always taught to 'love someone for their gains' which can be partially true but that's not the trajectory of healthy friendships!! You can be besties with a complete Mary sue but if you're not they're biggest hypegirl then literally what's the point????

Notable scenes that devoured, left no crumbs and did the dishes!!

SOOBIN, CHAERYOENG AND YEJI HAVING A JOINT SLAY TOWARDS THE END OF THE SERIES 😭😭😭😭

Sungchan being right but we all still mutually despise his character in the fic purely because he's Gross!y/n's ex... Something I never knew I needed until now. Ex-boyfriends are typically portrayed as candy-stealing 🍑 holes (which he was!!) but to have them actually spit facts that are right and raw and brutal but he's right???? My new favorite trope ✍️the 'bad but right but we still hate him' Ex✍️

Every. Single. Kai and Yuck!yn cameo. Couple goals. *Throws hands in the air* COUPLE GOALS!! IM TRULY NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE BIASED, THEY CAN BE CHARACTERS IN A NOVEL AND I'D STILL FIND THEM SO SO CUTE!!

GROSS!YN HATE TRAIN RUN BY YUCK!YN GODDD THOSE WERE ALL SO SO FUNNY I'D EITHER MASSAGE MY FORHEAD OR LET OUT A WHEEZE

THE GC INTERVIEWS!! THE GC INTERVIEWS ‼️‼️‼️‼️ (ps, Fay you wrote yourself so we'll here 🫶🫶🫶 talented author AND interviewer wowowow your talent is BEYOND me 👏👏👏👏👏👏)

Gross!YN'S miscellaneous items: Spotify playlist, notes about YJ and THE BLOODY VOICE CALL GAAAAAAAAAH

...THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

This segment does not need any further explanation.

I loved making the 'video essay' on 'Yuck!' A couple months back and so ofc I'm back making yet another compilation (2 WHOLE MINUTES BTW) for this lovely work indeed 🫶🫶🫶 (Fay, if you're seeing this, take this as a late birthday present ^3^)

(if your guys' short attention spans lasted all the way to the very end, you'd see what I'd be on for the next couple of months moving forth nyehheheheEHEHEHEHEHE MUAHAHHAHA TYUNNING HERE I COMEEEEEEEE)

(PS TYSM FOR READING THIS REVIEW OKAY BYEE 😄🏃‍♀️💨)

[your--isgayrights]

I dare you to think of any LJH meta

Yeah, ok! I mean I'm on a language kick so if you meant like a specific theme you wanted to ask about her fitting into then like lmk but I'll just do another name meaning breakdown here.

李 智 慧

^plum ^knowledge ^wisdom

이 지 혜

^ common surname ^ these two together often mean kind of like a wisdom/knowledge of overcoming ignorance/evil/chaos. has some reference in Buddhist texts.

TLDR;

the surnames in ORV group the characters together in interesting ways and some themes connecting the Lees are connection to KDJ's (and to KDJ thru extension of YJH's) past/childhood, and experience of growing in adversity (symbolized by plum meaning of Lee).

We know LJH is a Jeonju Lee because she's a descendant of Yi Seokgi in text. The stories of Admiral Yi Sunsin with Yi Seokgi and Lee Jihye with Na Bori parallel in a way that emphasizes how the moral actions that define who becomes the hero of a story are context sensitive to a society.

Historical narratives/war movies typically portray a black and white of who was right and who was wrong that is supposed to seem obvious in hindsight, but are propped up too often as moral lessons that are always true, but will actually be different relevant to the standards of the current 'setting' (society).

Jihye's Hanja can refer to an understanding of some Buddhist concepts that represent an answer to ORV's question of 'how to survive in a ruined world' that Kim Dokja ultimately disagrees with.

Detailed explanation:

Surname Lee

Yi/Lee/Li is another one of those suuuuper common last names. 2nd most common in Korea and it trades places with 王 a lot in China's population count for #1 and #2 most common. (BTW Li is such a common translation of this last name despite modern Korean spelling of 이 partially because in. Middle Korean it has been spelled multiple ways [링,니,리] throughout history, partially because the word is so old and has to be written so often, it's survived multiple standardizations of the Korean language that English is still catching up to.) You can see the commonness of the name reflected in how so many ORV characters have this last name, (Lee Sookyung, Lee Hyunsung, Lee Seolhwa, Lee Gilyeong Lee Jihye...)

But if the usage was just reflecting 'commonness' then where are the 5 characters with surname 밝 omniscient reader where have the parks of the world gone omniscient reader did they all die in the subway car omniscient reader answer me.

... ok, I would argue that regardless of intentionality, the surnames in ORV associate some characters in ORV with the roles they each have and call attention to the similarities between them. Like, Han Sooyoung and Han Myungoh both play parts of like cartoonishly obvious villains in the early text (韓 has some national pride attached to it because it's one of few Hanja commonly used in modern Korean bc it literally just means Korea today, but the etymological root is that it's a picture of a fence so you could infer like Chinese calling a nation past dynasty borders the nation over the fence which implies a separation/opposition I suppose), Yoo Sangah and Yoo Joonghyuk have sort of an emphasized relationship to Kim Dokja I discussed a bit earlier, and Kim Dokja hates Kim Namwoon because he was projecting his self-hatred of a cringe younger version of himself onto him.

So the thing that stands out to me about LHS LSH and LJH is that they're all people who are related to Yoo Joonghyuk's "past". (Sn: I feel SYS is exempted from this grouping because of her unique position in relation to time/humanness/KDJ&YJH, her surname 申 is from Chinese astrology (stars and specific symbolism you could call daoism)/timekeeping a summer month around gregorian August, but is also used in Korean phrases associated with honesty/earnestness, w/ promises and requests) . Conversely, LSK and LGY are a few of the 'real' people of KDJ's world pulled into the scenarios by his influence and also kind of remind of his past/childhood. So I think this actually has to do with the meanings/associations of this surname's hanja

李 is easy to remember with the meaning of plum because it's a picture of a child 子 hanging down from a tree 木. Plums don't actually have as long of a history as you might think because relative to Chinese language in like 1250 BCE we only have evidence of domestic plums starting around 400 BCE. HOWEVER despite a lack of genetic evidence, Western Zhou inscriptions on bronze (which are called 金文 btw if you wanted to know that KDJ's name is like maybe even more related to lit history lol) have been found to contain this glyph:

Wherein, rather than tree, the little asterisk looking thing is actually the lingual precursor to 米 which as a noun means like a grain/grass/wheat type of situation. How does that make sense if the plum is from a tree and not a grass? Well, linguists speculate the character is pictophonetic and the precursor to 米 is just giving the sound of the character, but it could also be an implication of cultivation/domestication/having the nature of a crop in my opinion, which would be cool if true because inscriptions of this kind occur previous to 771 BC, which is 300 years before extant physical evidence implies plums were domesticated/cultivated.

(Sn: Sorry ok all this is very cool to me because I love how far back you can trace things in Chinese Language. Like if you think about where language begins, I'm reminded very much of the nature of humanity and how ORV puts it with the metaphor of the wall. The first evidence we have of Chinese writing is the oracle bones that Shang people used, and these scriptures showed an already fully formed language that may have been used on more degradable materials. But the oracle bones lend this sacredness to the idea of the written word. The Shang carved characters into ox bones and turtle shells to ask their ancestors questions, and the ability to communicate with ancestors to predict the weather, the relationship of an individual to the past, stood at the very foundation of many East Asian societies for centuries after this point. Yet you wonder, who was the first prophet of bones? Was the first pictograph we might call language an attempt to communicate to a deceased loved one? To ask a question? To write on a wall, not knowing if there was truly a reader on the other side? It's something I think of with this theme of impossible communication that ORV is making a statement with about all of literary history.)

Either way, the inclusion of the word child is significant, because it's not just tied to the fruit being 'born' from the tree, but possibly also the symbolic significance of the plum throughout literary history. This is because plum is very associated with the season of spring. Like literally if you've ever played mahjong or looked at old daoist texts I guess there's this whole thing where there are 4 flowers tied to the 4 seasons and the plum blossom is the blossom of spring. And you know when you literally have like old old old guiding religious texts that basically Explain what those seasons mean to people at the time that becomes the foundation of medicine/ruling philosophies you can see like there are some very consistent themes tied to the plum blossom and thus the character 李.

First is the idea of birth, which makes sense because spring is when the whole world is coming back to life after winter, and the flowers of the plum tree are one of the same. (Sn: a lot of daoist/naturalist influence in literary symbolism is based in the idea of scale... Like the galaxy is a microcosm of the universe, the planet is a microcosm of a galaxy, a human life is a microcosm of the planet, etc.) Because of this, the plum and spring sre associated with childhood/ the early stages of life, (as 子 implies). In this sense, it fits well that 李 would be used for important characters in raising KDJ (his mom and the people he admired in YJH's story) while also being used for LJH and LGY, whose youth in comparison to their harsh situation is often commented upon by the narrative. The other aspect of this meaning is the idea of blooming in spite of adversity, in that the first blooms of the plum blossom may appear when it still feels like winter, bringing the first signs of spring, thus the growing in spite of adversity. Thus, it makes a lot of sense to name a lot of the characters in a literal Apocalypse novel 李, they are blooming/growing in spite of their harsh circumstances.

(Sn: the history of plums/ stonefruit in East Asia is really interesting, sent me down a rabbit hole of trying to figure out what the first domesticated stonefruit was, but it's far back in time enough that 1 day isn't enough time to find that answer.)

In LJH's case in particular, 李 is also an important connection to the historical figure Yi Eokgi. This actually means she's one of few characters featured in ORV we have a Bon-gwan for, since Yu Eokgi was descendant from the Jeonju Yi clan (who made Korea's royal seal the plum blossom when they were in power btw). This is pretty interesting and ORV does like super get into it in the movie theater chapters, but I'll put some context here if you like do not know about Korean war history.

So war is a really interesting narrative in ORV because of a certain discourse on the sort of tokenization of tragedy in storytelling/propaganda. For instance, a huge theme of early Korean literature is the victory of Silla in the three kingdoms period, because extant Korean literature begins with the ancestors of the Silla nobles who conquered the peninsula. Thus, in tales of the three kingdoms, Silla may be portrayed in a better light/more accurately than Goguryeo and Baekje. Up to the modern day, these tales get retold over and over again with different actors, which is part of the point the arc about the war of kings was making, that these noble, dressed up pictures of war don't stand up to actual conflict or modern day issues, that they get rehashed over and over again as if to invoke some sense of national pride when in reality they've lost meaning/application to modern wars/society beyond the profit made by selling their recognizable images. (Shout out to Min Jiwon, her surname's hanja means 'pity' btw, lol) In contrast to this history, Admiral Yi Sunsin is someone who recorded his own history in logs without the intent of publication (as far as I'm aware), and his image/story was taken by the literate of his time only to be fed into that same content generating machine of the modern day, where war movies commercialize and glamorize the battles he fought. (Sn: ORV calls him by his posthumous title, wherein the Hanja for 'loyalty" was used despite the fact that Yi Sunsin notoriously disobeyed the emperors orders and was right to do it. This name kind of relates to this concept of the written word as a masking narrative bc he also had a given name that basically meant servant of the emperor and there's a famous letter where he was like this servant is going to do the opposite of what you said actually to the king) In the context of ORV and modern SK society, the military is just another industry the young people of today are filed in and out of, and men in particular are obligated and often made to feel there is a real need to participate in the industrial complex of modern warfare. So, this is relevant to KDJ's life experience of mentioning being sent to a bad post during his time serving, in the sense of showing war to actually be quite soul draining and unremarkable outside of fantasy.

So in the idea of considering Yi Sunsin 's Real Life story as something tokenized into "Narrative," Yi Seokgi is like almost less than a sidekick. He was a commander in Yi Sunsin 's first notable battle with Japanese forces, so the two often fought alongside one another, yet he's not the individual that is most often put with Yi Sunsin or remarked upon as his close 'comrade' in history, so it makes sense in the realm of ORV that maybe his story isn't well known. I personally think this is sort of because his story is tragic in the sense that the moral of it is to not follow orders of stupid government leaders who don't understand reality... In that he died because he went to a battle when the king ordered it after Yi Sunsin was arrested and stripped from his post for disobeying because he knew it was a stupid order. In addition, I've seen some conflicting versions of this, but some say he went to his own death over the side of the ship when Korea's loss seemed apparent.

So this is really interesting then in the concept of LJH and Na Bori (surname means Net btw). Because it puts LJH as this Yi Seokgi whose obedience to Narrative turned her into a Yi Sunsin. Like, in the epilogues we can see her interactions with Na Bori in that LJH is the younger one who gets teased and called crybaby, who relies on NBR. (What if I was casting myself overboard because of our impending doom and you were a net that caught me and we were both girls lol) Then, NBR takes care of her further by sacrificing her own life. Then, this is the incident that draws the character of Yi Sunsin 's (also I say his name here, but consider that the monikers of the constellations are actually pretty important in the meta narrative context of a Character, a being that symbolizes something in a story, an idea, rather than the actual real person with their own private emotions and such. Also how they aren't able to communicate directly until the point where KDJ himself is becoming like a character to us too. The constellations picking someone then who best understands their story/relates to it is a form of viewership/readership in a way) attention to this particular ancestor of Yi Seokgi, in a way that kind of shows a version of his own story, what if the young and inexperienced Yi Seokgi was the one to live instead? Would he become the same kind of hero in different circumstances? This concept of seeking your own narrative in the stories of others recurrs, obviously, all throughout the narrative of ORV.

(sn on that: I think that KDJ finding his own narrative in different ways between LJH and KNW is also important to the main narrative of survivorship that drives KDJ's initial interest in the world of WoS because of the fact that LJH's survivors guilt and indecision are, in contrast to KNW's over-enthusiastic ownership of the identity of "murderer" relate to the internal debate of KDJ's own self hatred, in that self-exoneration through blaming the situation is the side of KDJ's trauma that triggers his self-hatred/that he has to let himself misremember to keep on living. In opposition, LJH is a "murderer" who KDJ feels sympathy towards. In the world of WoS promised to KDJ in that very initial concept of "what if everyone you know had to kill others in order to survive?" The introduction of these early characters in ORV is always tied to that idea of how they had to become a killer in order to survive. In the beginning, compared to KNW, LJH is someone KDJ wants to see be dissimilar from that version of himself)

So the battle highlighted in the movie theater chapters is the battle of Myeongyang, which is pretty important. In history, basically what happened is that the court and king became convinced by a Japanese double agent that they could ambush a Japanese fleet in a certain area of the sea that Yi Sunsin had actually been to and knew there were like just some absolutely shitty awful rocks there and so, despite not knowing about the double agent plot, he refused to take his ships out there for no reason. This double agent plot was like literally set up because Yi Sunsin had defeated the Japanese fleets a few times and they wanted to lure him right to those shitty rocks and kill him. Turns out they didn't have to because the idiot king got so pissed at being disobeyed that he had Yi Sunsin locked up and like broke his legs and wanted to kill him also but got convinced not to. Yi Eokgi and others who had fought alongside tried to stick up for him, but Yi Eokgi was sent out with another commander to sail right into the trap. Then like I said, some tellings say he died by 'honorable suicide' at sea and some say he was run ashore and killed, I'm not sure. Either way, I'm pretty sure ORV is working with the former version. In that case, Myeongyang is the battle wherein Yi Sunsin had just been reinstated and rushed out to look for the fleet that never returned.

So this is why the movie about this battle reminding LJH of her dead friend connects, because, presumably, the sea attributed to her sickness is the location of Yi Eokgi 's suicide, parallel to NBR voluntarily giving her life to save LJH's.

Another narrative occuring here is, again, the parallel of the fantasy situation to the reality of this kind of trauma. Just like KDJ and other's skills only come into play in the world of WoS, the environment -specific nature of LJH's abilities is particularly emphasized with association to this sea that is a reminder of her greatest personal trauma. This is interesting because I think the overt message of this scene is KDJ forcing this idea of like using your trauma as a necessity to become stronger, which is very interesting in the context of helplessness to narrative and the fact that KDJ's idea of being like the sacrificial goat that has to endure all suffering for the sake of any happiness to occur in the world being the final boss of ORV... Also interesting in the context of the way natural human tragedy/history is edited into narrative visavis the commentary of historical narrative here.

Because if you look at YSS, he was this admiral whose greatest advantage was always just knowing the sea the best of anyone else. He knew where the shitty rocks were, and Myeongyang was named the battle of Myeongyang because when the king was like give up on finding our guys and just fight with the land troops he was like nah man I got 12 ships here and ships are only good if there's water, and he sent one of his boats to lure the Japanese fleet of like 300 guys into the Myeongyang straight that just had like hella whirlpools.

So the idea of someone who is weak on land but strong in the sea is very parallel to that aspect of trauma which is the fact that trauma responses are trying to prepare you to encounter traumatic situations again, and when you don't encounter those situations, they just linger and stay with you, and in some ways they become a weakness in dealing with everything other than that very specific situation you once experienced. So in this section KDJ is telling LJY to get over her trauma and use it for this specific situation, that having endured killing a human being once before, you are prepared to do it however many times it takes to keep living and get to the end... But again, the entire text of ORV is challenging this idea of "necessary" traumas, and YSS is someone whose story reflects this in an interesting way.

Because YSS and YSG's 'tragedy' as told by ORV was probably quite preventable in real life. It was not really 'necessary' for so many people to be killed in the previous battle for YSS to win the battle at Myeongyang, but the bearing these aspects have on the power of his narrative? Would this story be told so many times over if YSS hadn't faced such adversity before the most told legend of the 12 ships under his command retaking the sea from 300 Japanese ships? YSS's eventual death at sea is retold over and over, while YSG who also died at sea during battle could have died any one of a few different ways without public consensus. It reminds me of that theme of little tragedies in ORV, the idea of a personal tragedy that will never reach the scale of a great story or narrative. Because narrative in some ways asks a tragedy to justify it's existence, to have a reason to be told so many times over, to fit to a certain model of what others want or expect. Like in real life we should be looking at the idiot king from YSS's time and thinking hey maybe you should just listen to people who know what they're talking about instead of having an ego about it, what an asshole, it's stupid that the government system gave him the power to do that shit, etc. But in the context of narrative, an idiot king is basically a setting, the innate nature of an uncaring and cruel world context is static and immovable, and the hero's interaction/relationship with that setting creates plot. "This is just the way things are, it's so realistic" type comments evoke this aspect of fiction that seeking radical joy in narrative fights against. Because in this narrative of war, young people are asked whether or not they will die following orders or live disobeying them, but the answer in LJH and NBR is that whether or not obeying the order to kill or resisting the order to kill will lead to certain death is completely dependent on the will of that setting the which narrative does not dare challenge.

So the aspect of war narrative adds onto this idea of systems/narratives/what we see as 'reality' having to be torn away to find the true heart of something. Because the reality of war reveals is that all death is senseless, tragedy is an impediment to happiness, not a requirement or precursor. Our sense of narrative merely gives the two a false relationship.

You can be happy without suffering, you can suffer without being happy, and you can be happy after suffering and suffering after being happy... Human life isn't always so simple as a one-way transition between winter and spring

Given name Jihye

智慧

Basically this word means wisdom, so you could interpret the whole name as like growing into wisdom or having to do with how YSS's quotations are repurposed as aphorisms or something, but like I said these characters are actually also used to translate the concept of 'prajna' in sinicized Buddhist texts. It also means wisdom/understanding/insight but there are like specific concepts that are supposed to be being Understood in the context of Buddhism u know. Basically: 1 nothing lasts forever (impermanence), 2 what causes suffering (I think usually Buddhists say the answer to that question is desire, idk), 3 the lack of self which Chinese translate 无我 (there's a huge split on what that means depending on the tradition) and sometimes also a secret 4th thing that's basically like nothing has inherent/meaning/form besides the illusions we construct of them (void).

The reason I find this Buddhism connection interesting is because I think that Buddhist philosophy (just in my experience of others trying to convert me/telling me why they prefer it not saying this is the case for everyone who prescribes to any branch) does this thing religions do where it tries to answer an impossible to solve problem that humans have but I don't necessarily agree with the solution. Like lots of religions are kind of based just in this reality that people dunno what being dead feels like when they are alive and are trying to predict it through the lense of their own societies, but Buddhism is kind of unique in that most of the branches with extended afterlife mythos develop like way later on and it doesn't immediately try to describe the creation of the world or assert any similar myth whose details are actually extremely related to the context of the society it was originally told in and hard to relate to outside of that worldview, Buddhism starts from the point of a guy who tried being rich and tried being poor and was like, I suffered doing both of those things. They both kind of sucked. Which I think is part of why Buddhism has such this huge spread across societies so early on in history because the silk road goes both ways but Buddhism caught on like a wildfire in East Asia and maybe part of that is that when your dynastic lineages and model of society goes back so fucking long it doesn't actually seem feasible to change your society as much as it seems to be able to remove yourself from the stresses existing in that society causes you.

So, 无常， 苦， 无我，空。 Society feels permanent, but there is no permanence. Bitterness exists because of this illusion of society. The concept of 'me' a symbol that represents my being to others is not actually a truly solid, unchangeable thing. To be void of the desires, concerns and stresses in the world you cannot change is 空 in the sense of void/lack of activity, but also in the sense of freedom. (Sn: I think I like the Chinese translations of the last term more than the English "void," because most English speakers will picture a dark space and feel trapped, but Kong makes me think 'do you have some free time?' which I think lines up more with the Buddhist idea of 'freeing yourself' than like the idea of you are confined to your mortal existence or w/e)

So in relation to the concept of narrative, this idea of 'wisdom' demonstrates that reaction of interaction with a horrible setting/worldly suffering/trauma/ etc. I think that because the lack of interaction/removal of self from the world is characterized as a philosophical enemy of ORV wherein 'caring about others and being happy with others does not always require suffering and even if it does keep trying to be Happy' and emphasizes the idea of the importance of individuality and identity and personhood, the name of 'understanding' in this sense is representing that LJH initially has a worldview KDJ has to fight against. Because her lack of participation in the scenario to avoid causing more suffering is like the first conflict between her and KDJ and he convinces her to fight to survive/keep on living/ interact with her suffering in a way that kinda contradicts from the idea of 'escaping the self' you know. Because at the core of ORV is that question of how do you go on living when you've done something horrible? In this sense, LJH's 智慧 is just another one of the stock responses to trauma Kim Dokja must react to in a sequence.

(Sn: once more on the concept of how narrative can justify something horrible, LSK's narrative redeeming herself in the eyes of the public vs the horrible truth she was trying to conceal. The idea that killing is acceptable in the scenarios but KDJ must conceal a past of murder outside of that space. The side characters shown to delight in horrible acts as soon as the setting/worldview has changed to expect it in them and reward them for it.)

I also think that ultimately Jihye represents the first introduction to the "reincarnator" solution to the ruined world that is later followed up by Nirvana and YSA, and KDJ's journey through that is kinda like a journey to the east instead of west where separating from narrative and your most important relationships and sense of self are the final boss.

[wiltingg4rden]

૮꒰ ˶Ó ˕ Ò˶ ꒱ა I should rest and sleep soon but i can’t stop thinking about you babyy

I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way love :(( I truly wish I could hold and comfort you, fondle your hair and listen to your breathing, just watching over you while you sleep <33 I’m a insomniac so I could be your guardian angel every night, keeping you safe from nightmares and any harm <3

I would truly love to watch any shows or movies with you my dear, we can do that once we started texting..like in dm’s 🥺 for real tho, that’s my favourite quality time activity <33 I always prepare a ton of snacks and some fancy drinks before getting cozy and watching something, just to end up pausing it constantly and yap about a related topic or a scene for at least 5mins hehe

baby reindeer has a great trans fem and male sa victim rep !! Also the stalking aspect is very authentic / medically accurate, thrilling and complex! Most likely bc it’s based on a true story :3 it’s a comedy but I didn’t perceive it like that tbh >< also watched it in one go while my best friend napped hehe <33

I will go into this more detailed tomorrow but I’m actually mostly vegetarian / partially vegan and a total hippie / spiritual person so I agree with everything you said ☮︎ what’s your fav part of nature tho? mine is def the forest!! I love all the different colors and textures :3 I also love love love moving water, like lakes, rivers or rain tho and I would give anything to have a moss bed :Oo oh oh and what’s your fav animal? 🐾

Btw I bet you’re extremely handsome but it doesn’t matter what you look like to me because once I see you shine, nothing can change the way I perceive you <33

ahh I wanna reply to everything you mentioned bc I know you put thought into your words, and I always wanna make sure I appreciate and cherish all of you but I can’t remember everything rn, I will get to the rest tomorrow! I promiseeee ><

-💌

I'm already invading your mind? I'm honored. You have great timing, I was about to close tunglr when your ask came through!

I would love that. I crave the physical intimacy so bad, but I really just love love! If that makes sense,,

I always love consuming new media... I've been trying to get out of my little funk of watching the same five things over and over. It's silly but I need broader horizons.. I look forward to getting to yap to you, lovely <3

I'm also mostly vegetarian, funny enough!! I don't like most meats for texture reasons, but I feel bad eating animals.. I love all parts of nature, I loveee the sea though! Bodies of waters are so enchanting to me. I love moss though.. and bugs, I love bugs. Don't get me started on weevils hehe. My favorite animal is such a hard topic too because it's always a toss up! I love all marine life, especially manta rays. And birds.. and seals, and deer- the list just goes on.

You're such a sweetheart, I hope that you think so highly of me when you see me! But please get some rest, darling. I don't want you to also get sick <3

[fire-breathing-pain-in-the-neck]

Broke: Shrek 3 is the worst Shrek movie because of the terrible humor (90% of all jokes are "poop funny" or "farting and burping funny" and it's way too much even for a South Park episode!) and Charming's character just not working as a true main antagonist.

Woke: Shrek 3 is the worst Shrek movie because Shrek franchise is supposed to be a story of Shrek and Fiona's love... And Fiona isn't with Shrek for the entire movie... And she isn't even a heroine on her own in there, like she was in 4, or (partially) in 2. Just a mother of Shrek's children. Which is way less than she deserves, as well as just as... a little bit misogynistic.

Now, I am a Shrek the Third supporter and always will be, BUT a very good point is made here that I’ve been thinking about for a bit.

Fiona’s character kinda suffered from Disneyfication, which is ironic given how the first movie and her character originated.

(Btw! Disneyfication, or at least how I learned it in my sociology class, is when traits of a character become stereotypical and they enforce typical gender/class roles associated with that character.)

Instead of standing alongside Shrek, she’s given the backseat to become the mother. Unfortunately, by doing this, the movie just enforces tired ideas that wives and mothers are meant to be left at home when going on adventures. 😐

Also, even in her own kingdom, she’s not the one who is rightfully owed the crown after her father’s death, her husband is. In an advanced society like Far Far Away, do they NEED to have a king instead of a queen? NO. Is that a choice they made anyway? YES. And it’s not a good one!!

[mooifyourecows]

Ok I'm dead curious and I'm a thirsty nerd, please don't spare me of details. How much did you really research for Hard Times and how much did you made up? Anything from experience? Any surprises while looking up? SHOW US THE RING!!

Also, I just wanna add to the amazing and very true points Suga made the latest chapter, if you don't mind me using the spotlight: Always make sure to purchase from actual locals while travelling. My country has a huge touristic income and, just to use as an example, big events like the football world cup thay happened a few years ago should have injected a stupid amount of money in our local economies because the amount of tourists was really hitting record numbers. Only it didn't, not even one bit. Because all foreign very expensive and very valuable currency was being spent inside hotels and on international touristic companies, not even bothering to buy a snack from actual locals. This kind of exploratory business happens specially at in development places, because the local business are not considered enough to bring international costumers to (or they just can't afford to agree with the tourism companies conditions).

Good points Mel! Tourists should definitely try to support the locals over any international corporations! If you can't afford to pay the slightly higher price for local goods and food then you can't afford to vacation in those countries 🤷‍♂️

As for your research question, i do lots of research on all of my stories. It's one of the ways I acquire new interests, actually. Like for Drop in the Ocean (idk if you read it, it's daisuga + sharks) I acquired an interest and love for fish because of all the research I did for that fic. I watched hours of fish and aquarium videos on youtube and looked up fun facts and what not so that I could accurately depict a Suga who was absolutely in love with aquatic creatures. Now i love fish so much I want to get a big huge fish tank and fill it with the little bastards. if i ever want to get really into something, all i gotta do is make it an interest for one of my characters and bam, i’m a fish person now

For Hard Times specifically, I did lots of research on cruises, since I've never been on one before. I also looked up a lot about Ocho Rios and its attractions, even though I didn't wind up using much of it. I have aphantasia (the inability to visualize) and therefore need lots of visual references, so I looked up penthouse apartments and fancy cruise ship suite layouts/blueprints as well as interior decor and clothes and yada yada

I scrolled through pages and pages of Rolex watches until deciding which one Suga stole from Daichi. This is it btw (blurry pic because it’s from my old phone and has journeyed through discord and what not shhh):

And here's the ring I had in mind for the most recent chapter:

I honestly don't like making things up when it's based on a real thing, you know? Like if i'm trying to make a character seem well versed about italy, i'm gonsta read several wikipedia pages, you can count on that. I might not use nearly 90% of whatever i research but hey, at least i will know which countries eat horse and which ones don't in case such a thing happens to come up in casual conversation.

as for the catholic stuff... uhhhh that’s based on my own experiences. not ALL of it, ofc. I didn’t go to a fancy catholic school, but i was raised catholic. Suga’s story about keeping the priest at that convention for so long is partially true. not the neck exercises/stain on vestments part. but i did go to a catholic convention thing (Steubenville Youth Conference) in Washington state when I was a teenager and it was very weird but very amusing. and i was required to go to confession in these little tented off cubes inside this big event center and my confession took like triple the amount of time as everyone else’s because i am a silly goofy little scamp who loves to lie and just made stuff up until the priest was finally like “alright, next”. he was a nice guy though. he was very enthusiastic about giving me advice for all my confessions which was mainly why i was in there for so long. and then when i came out, the person I had been hanging out with the whole conference was like “you were in there for so long hOW MANY SINS DO YOU HAVE?” and honestly, good question because i stopped believing in god when i was like 7 and never told a priest a single truth in my life so babey we are still counting!

the research part of writing a story is honestly really fun for me. I like filling my little notes app with things i might want to incorporate somehow because it’s interesting or could potentially fit really well with the themes and what not. i’m well aware that my world experience is pretty limited. i don’t want my characters to exist only in those limitations though. thinking of a new mental disorder or cultural background to give my characters is SO FUN and EXCITING and i can’t help but dive right into all the possibilities.

but uhhh yeah the end thanks for the question babe 🖤

[dobranocka]

(sorry idk which ones you've been asked yet!) 12, 20, 33?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Huh, that's not really something I have considered. Let me think.

All my writing will magically edit itself into shape. No more types, hanging sentences, doubled words - just a clear, readable text. Sure, I can make changes like cut something that doesn't fit or add a scene that is needed, but no more haunting of stray typos. P l e a s e.

A perfect writing playlist for every writing project. The one just makes me focus, kicks my brain into creative mode, and fits the mood of the piece I am writing perfectly. And it has to be different for each and every one! My own soundtracks, with no repetitions.

No more post-publishing things hangovers. Everything will just publish itself and I will be able to not worry about the reception it is getting or suffering from the dopamine crash. Good feelings only from now on.

Okay, that's the wrap. Can't risk turning any WIP into lorem ipsum.

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

Obviously the eternal happiness, how is that even a choice? I am assuming my one true love here is my dog and he will live forever 😊

More seriously though - I actually had a conversation with Marron about this a few days ago, which partially has been prompted by the pain of publishing a WIP we worked on for, well, 8 months or so, and partially by the fact that my uni friend got stuck on finishing her PhD which is, in reality, fully written, but she doesn't think it's perfect yet.

Do you see what I am getting at here?

I don't think the perfect piece of writing exists. I don't think we, as writers, should strive for a perfect novel, or poem, or fanfic, or academic thesis (especially academic thesis) - just like we shouldn't strive for a perfect body, or perfect grade, or a perfect relationship. As someone who struggled with deliberating perfectionism for years - the kind that makes you quit relationships or turn away job opportunities, because they are not quite perfect - this is a topic I obviously feel strongly about.

What I instead try for is to challenge myself with my writing in a way that makes it fun for me and then try to enjoy the process, instead for aiming for something unachievable. The stories I have written so far are signs of who I am and was as a person and writer then. There will be countless other stories I will write in the future. Some of them will be better than the others, some I will like much more. None of them have to be perfect.

The real treasure will be all the typos I will make along the way 😅

(Sorry for getting quite so personal here, but I really think this mindset of striving for a unachievable perfection can be damaging for writers, at all stages of life.)

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

Do crafts count as art? If so, then yes, I suppose - I knit, I dabbled a bit in crocheting, I love cooking - I do like making things with my hands. I don't think it ties into my writing in a ways I would be able to identify, at least so far.

Thank you for asking those questions!

Ask me weird questions about writing

[sootandfangdiary]

What are some of your OCs? What are some of your favourites?

Okay so I have a bunch so I’m gonna only talk about five of them

Fí!

They’re a non-binary changeling Druid/warlock. They often take on the form of a Satyr. They love to learn about the world around them and they adventure frequently! Also, the mushroom hat they wear is what connects them to their undead patron thus they can never take it off :D! Very silly, but also very scary in the right situations.

(Art by AndrewTheMood on ArtFight)

Chit’al!

An agender thri-kreen monk/sorcerer! Also a reborn god of nature and beauty which is how they got their powers! They’re currently traveling around with a group of adventurers by the names of Lux, Kendell, Saint, and Addie. Chit’al is currently going by the name “The Eternal Lotus” to honor his power and make him seem more powerful than he actually is. The whole group has been through some stuff from becoming enemies of the church because the priestess is evil to getting eaten by a giant purple worm to Addie getting possessed. They’ve always come out on top though, and hopefully as his story continues that’ll stay true :D

(Art by me)

Polaris!

Originally born as Peter Parker, Polaris was bitten by a radioactive spider and for ten years has been the one and only Solar-Spider. They’re basically my spidersona and I adore them <3 Also unlike other spider people, Polaris is able to shape shift in a way. They’re able to change from a human form to a spider form and anywhere in between! Their spider form is like an anthro spider with hair covering their body, sharper teeth and claws, and, of course, organic webbing! They still wear a suit though because they like it and when they were first starting out they got knocked out while fighting one time and their identity almost got revealed because they weren’t wearing a suit.

Picrew:

Pixie Sticks!

My killjoy oc! He’s a drummer in a band called The Atom Bomb Kids. She’s also poly and dating the two other members, Rose Bombshell (the singer/bassist) and Astral Ammo (the guitarist). Huge sugar addict and always incredibly hyper. Also the resident hairdresser of the group. Love her.

Picrew:

Unnamed Hollow Knight OC

Secret OC I’ve been working on! Haven’t got a name for them yet but I know I want them to be a mantis in the Grimm troupe who’s partially infected!

(Art by me)

I also have characters I’ve made for stories, even more dnd characters, and other fandom ocs like star wars and toh! I have a bunch lmao

Sorry it took so ont to respond to this btw! Been slowly chipping at it throughout the day

[mcalhenwrites]

10 11 20 and 25

Thank you for the ask, anon! 🧡 10. I did answer this already, you can read that here~ 11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve? I do and don't. I understand the advice for professional authors who want to traditionally publish - it's competitive and you have to play the game right. But I do not kill my darlings often enough. When I do, I used to put them in separate documents (MS Word) until I got Scrivener, now they sit in separate folders on the story. I have deleted chapters and scenes and sentences piled up, and some of them I was so fond of... But they had to go. It's a shame. Still not entirely fond of killing my Stargazers' Hill darling, which was the original opening line. A friend suggested I change it, and I did, but I think a part of me still sees the original as a darling, even if the new one is better. So I'd say I do grieve. :') 20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch I love this question bc my brain just goes "AROMANTIC FTW" hahahaha... Yeah, sorry, this isn't even a sacrifice. Even if it's only for one WIP, I choose the WIP~ And it would be TEACUP btw :D ...Unless someone finds out my one true love is writing. Then I'm fucked. I'm not sure I can sacrifice writing to have only one of them come out just as I envision it. Heh. Don't tell? :D 25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story? I know so many random, silly things about all of them that are irrelevant. Off the top of my head, Hade plays Pokemon (which doesn't exist in his world, this is a fictional place, but he WOULD play it if he COULD)... And I see him as one of those people who wants to complete his Pokedex too... And he has to get the legendaries. ALL OF THEM. ALL THE GAMES. The bedroom closet is like partially clothing (mostly Toryn's) and 90% all Hade's video game stuff, and a good chunk of it is Pokemon cards, old systems, old games, plushies, toys, etc. (Toryn hates it. Toryn's a no-fun-allowed jerkface.) But yeah, they live in my dragon universe and Pokemon def doesn't exist. So it's not canon? Only it IS. But for legal reasons, it is not. ;) Weird Questions for Writers

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

I was just curious if you'd write an Alastor x Male/Reader who is new to hell and has no idea how powerful the Radio Demon is too which Alastor finds cute and stays with the reader. Love your stories BTW ❤️

Alastor with Male S/O who has no idea who he is.

You landed in Hell with a thud.

You didn't really know what was happening, or where you were, or just... What the Hell was happening.

So, waltzing down the street, you began sightseeing, quite fascinated with the, well, Hellscape.

It was as you strolled down the street, that you realised you were in an actual Hellscape, finding a billboard for 666 news. Said billboard proclaiming itself the #1 news channel in Hell.

After that you kind of just went along with it, unable to do anything else as you waltzed down the street.

As you went along, you found yourself in at the mouth of some kind of garden, so entering it you found yourself within natural splendour. The kind you hadn't expected to find in Hell.

Walking along you found a particularly beautiful flower. Picking it, you went to take a sniff, only for your hand to be stopped by a metal pole across your wrist.

"I wouldn't do that my fine fellow~" the voice chirped, all to cheerfully.

Looking up, you found a rather dapper demon, all decked out in a red striped suit. In his hand he held a cane, or a staff more like, the pole having a large microphone atop it.

"There beautiful, yes. But also quite toxic." He told you taking the flower from your hand.

Looking it over breafly, he tossed it before looking back to you. Giving your thanks you extended your hand, introducing yourself.

The demon stared at you for a moment, an almost curious glint in his eye before he took your hand, the demon politely introducing himself as Alastor.

The two of you had a rather delightful back and forth as you strolled through the gardens.

You talked about how your very recent arrival in hell, and your total lack of experience of, you know, existing in Hell.

Although, for Alastor, he was more interested in just how casual you were with him.

He was so used to everyone fleeing at the mere sight of him, and the ones that didn't were rarely even worth acknowledging.

But you, you were just delightful.

You were polite, friendly and an excellent conversationalist.

And honestly, he didn't want you to know who he was. He didn't want you to get scared and treat him like some kind of monster.

I mean, he was a monster, a rather malicious one as well.

But you didn't need to know that.

So, first thing first, he had to get you a job and a place to stay.

He could always just have you stay with him, but you seemed like the independent sort and should probably be able to survive on your own.

So he got you a job bartendering at a rather classy bar he often patroned, the owner owing him a favour.

And he was sure the demon wouldnt reveal his secret, as the three eyed, owl looking demon was mute as an artwork.

Luckily for both of you, you seemed to take to the job like a horse to grass.

You were quick, orderly and did the job with a smile, you were everything he could want in a bartender.

And as such, he found himself drinking at that very bar quite a bit more often.

During said visits, the two of you would often spend great lengths of time talking with each other, only occasionally broken up by the odd drink order.

You developed a little game, where everytime he showed up you'd guess what he did for a living, or rather, what he'd made of his afterlife.

Some of his favourites had been; a poet, a tailor, a musician (which was partially true), a florest and his favourite being 'a rather dapper Ice cream salesman'.

He loved your relationship.

You being one of a very small handful of demons he could say he genuinely enjoyed spending time with, even more so then the chaos of Hell that he typically revelled in.

He found himself having the most peculiar feelings for you.

He'd never had such feelings for, well, anyone.

There was one minor hiccup though, in which the two of you were out for dinner and Alastor had let it slip that he was a cannibal.

You hadn't made a fuss of it at the time, but he could tell the news had unnerved you. Alastor was good at that, unnerving people.

But he didn't want you to think Ill of him.

It was a new sensation for the radio demon.

Caring what someone else thought.

Eventually he went to apologise, hoping to salvage your relationship, when the last thing he expected happened.

You apologised to him.

You apologised for making it awkward, telling him you should judge him just for being different and after everything he'd done for you, it'd be rather selfish to treat him differently just because he had some... peculiar tastes.

And it was in that moment, the demon was unable to put into words this sensation.

He'd never really had this sense of acceptance, and to get it from you... someone he thought so highly of, it was borderline euphoric.

And it was as he was caught up in that euphoria, that he finally asked you out to dinner. Perhaps, as more then just friends.

You would get a little flustered, never having expected such a request from the demon, but eagerly accepted his offer none the less.

Honestly, the date itself wasn't all to different then your usual gathering. You talked and laughed, swapping stories over a fine meal.

This time however, each time you laughed, or smiled at him, he felt a warmth bloom in his chest.

He found himself holding your hand.

It was a simple act of intimacy, the sort of act he never would have dreamed of doing a week before now.

But that night, it just felt right.

After all that, he escorted you home. Standing at your doorstep, you thanked him for a wonderful night out, you telling him simply, you were glad you did this.

Neither of you could remember who initiated it, but your first kiss was a gentle, tender one.

Youd go out on many a date after that.

You'd go out for dinner, to the theatre, night time chariot rides through the park.

All very romantic.

And speaking of romance.

In theory, Alastor was a master of love.

He was suave, confident, an intellectual, and in touch with both his emotions and his partners.

In practicality, though.

He was as clueless as a schoolboy. The crimson suited demon often finding himself coming up short on how to act in certain situations.

The time you'd randomly grabbed him, pulling him into a particularly vigorous kiss, only to let him go and act like nothing happened had left the demon in a daxe, frozen for several minutes as he processed what had just happened.

But, just because he wasn't as adept as he may have thought, doesn't mean he couldn't take charge.

In fact, the demon prided himself on getting you to blush, the red devil using his southern charm to make you blush. His favourite being when he whispered in your ear, using that saucy, husky voice that just made you squirm.

He was amazed at just how quickly your relationship bloomed, growing from embers, to a roaring inferno. A fire that seemed to just consume the both of you in burning passion.

As passionate and strong as your relationship was, there was one little thing that hung over your relationship.

You still didn't know what he did.

Now, you still had your little game, your guesses growing more playful and ridiculous.

And you may not have asked yet, but he could tell you wanted to know.

But to be honest, he was scared.

He was scared to tell you. Scared you'd look at him differently. Scared you'd look at him like the monster he once prided himself on being.

So, he acted pre-emptively.

He sat you down and told you that... he was not a... a good man.

He wasn't the type of man that deserves to live happily ever after and he didn't want you to suffer for that.

But then.

You stopped him.

Taking his hand into your own, looking over his digits before you brought his hand up and kissed one of his hand.

You told him rather simply, your in Hell. You knew he was a bad man, you'd seen how people look at him and you wouldnt expect him to be a saint.

But you loved him and he loved you. And that's all that mattered.

Alastor was filled with so many emotions, emotions tying his tongue as all he could do was grab you, pulling you into a passionate kiss.

"I love you~" they'd never felt more true then in that moment. The Radio Demon Feeling as though even he, a true monster, had truly found love.

[bthump]

Ayo, I could be mixing you up with someone else, but what gives you the impression Guts has any romantic feelings for Griffith post-eclipse. Golden age griffguts is valid and all, and still having some sexual attraction is possible, but how the heck could Guts still have any romantic feelings for a guy who condemned all his comrades to a horrible death, the sole exceptions being Guts, who was maimed, and Casca, who was horribly violated and tortured until her mind broke. In addition, Guts also knows all his comrades literally went to hell, so just... where do the romantic feelings come from? I assume it makes sense, I just don't see it.

lol idk if you're confusing me with someone but I definitely do think Guts' post-eclipse feelings are still romantic to an extent, so I'm happy to get into it.

Also just disclaimer, I’m saying these feelings are romantic because there’s a ton of homoeroticism involved in their portrayal, but yk, the point is that Guts still has intense positive feelings for Griffith based on their past relationship when they were both human, and if you see that as super intense friendship all these points still hold true.

Narratively here's a brief explanation of why I think Guts still has romantic feelings for Griffith, in the form of a small selection of blatantly homoerotic post-eclipse panels:

(link to some relevant translation notes of the beast of darkness nightmare scene)

(more posts on why this scene is so suggestive)

Like, the short answer is because Miura wrote those feelings into the story. Whether they’re reasonable or not is neither here nor there, whether it’s fair to Casca doesn’t matter, whether it’s logical is irrelevant. Regardless, Guts’ feelings are canonically mixed, and often blatantly homoerotic.

However, I don’t think it’s implausible. Griffith has undergone two magical transformations. Guts was obsessed with human Griffith, solely motivated by wanting to grow closer to him, and his obsession post-Eclipse is still there, it’s just taken a darker turn. He still wants Griffith/Femto to look at him, he still wants to be his equal, he still craves his attention, and I would argue that that’s Guts’ biggest motivator post-Eclipse.

His romantic feelings haven’t disappeared, they’ve just been combined with rage and betrayal.

And this is also perfectly in character for Guts - he never fully hated Gambino, he cried over him nearly a decade after killing him and still felt guilty, and he always remembered Gambino’s good aspects along with the bad. And Gambino was just some asshole with relatively few good qualities, who abused Guts and personally had him raped. Griffith was a genuinely good guy with a mutually loving relationship with Guts (which Guts recognized before the Eclipse happened) until he literally underwent a magical, personality-altering transformation into a demon - which, btw, Guts also partially blames himself for. Why wouldn’t his feelings be mixed? Who on earth would feel nothing but straightforward blind hatred? That would be unrealistic, imo.

Also a few points worth noting:

Guts differentiates between Femto and OG Griffith (”That’s not... the Griffith you know anymore.“) so that also contributes to his mixed feelings. He doesn’t hate original Griffith, and that residual love flavours his feelings towards Femto/NGriff.

His love for original Griffith is what inspires him to rescue Casca in chapter 130 - his regret over abandoning Griffith in the snow makes him resolve to fix his mistake of abandoning Casca too before it’s too late.

Guts’ temptation to become a monster has been framed as a way to get closer to Griffith (not literally but emotionally, btw) and be more like that “friend” (eg chapter 118, 187).

And narratively it’s a much much weaker story if Guts’ Golden Age feelings for Griffith have been entirely subsumed by hatred and are now irrelevant. That’s just bad, shallow, pointless writing. If those feelings, which were the core of the Golden Age, essentially the sole reason the Golden Age exists as part of the story, are irrelevant, then Miura fucked up by making the story revolve around them lol.

Like, the fact is that the story of Berserk is about Guts and Griffith’s relationship, it’s the central theme of the story. Cold facts, this is straightforward analysis. Guts and Casca’s relationship, among all the other relationships in Berserk, is a side thing which serves the main theme of Guts and Griffith’s relationship, sometimes by contrasting it, sometimes by paralleling it, sometimes by being thrown under the bus to emphasize it lol. Every significant narrative decision Guts has made has literally been predicated on his feelings for Griffith and Griffith’s for him: choosing to stay with the Hawks in chapter 16 and chapter 7 after moments of bonding; choosing to leave the Hawks after Promrose Hall to get closer to him; choosing to stay again when he realizes Griffith cared for him all along (chapter 72), his war declaration in response to Femto’s spiteful hatred and betrayal, abandoning Casca in a cave also in response to that, choosing to save Casca in chapter 130 to make up for abandoning Griffith; choosing to ignore Casca being burnt at the stake while trying to confront Griffith at the end of the Conviction arc while Isidro saves her, choosing to stay with Casca and try to get over his obsession when NeoGriffith announces he’s over him and “deserts” him in chapter 182. Hell, even choosing to invite people along with him because his feelings for Griffith inspired him to sexually assault Casca.

The story is introduced to us as a story about the intense, fucked up relationship between two dudes in the Black Swordsman arc, and even when Guts and Griffith are separated and trying to get over each other, that holds true.

So yeah, that’s my take on that. Sorry for all the links lol, I feel like this response stands on its own, but those are there in case you want more thorough explanations for some of these points.

Anyway thanks for the ask! Hope this illuminated my opinion at least.

[zeynatura]

PLEASE talk to me about selectively mute ludger i'm literally ;-; i know all the jp canon has him talk a lot but i am still so fond for quiet ludger

(this is lordofcalamity's main btw)

Well all my knowledge about Ludger comes from the game Tales of Xillia 2 and the crossover games like Tales of Link, Tales of Asteria, Tales of the Rays and Tales of Crestoria (RIP).

Throughout the first run of Tales of Xillia 2 Ludger rarely talks, when you finish the game and unlock New Game+ and play the second run his character talks more than on the first one. I like to think the reason why is because he feels more comfortable on the second run because he subconsciously already knows what’s gonna happen and the reason for him being mute on the first run is all the uncertainties in his life, after all the game starts on him failing his exam to become an agent and instead getting a job as a chef on a train.

Imagine your plan in life not working out and having to start a whole new journey at such a young age with the lack of parents’ support. Yeah, I wouldn’t feel like talking either.

On the first run Ludger communicates vocally using grunts, hums and short sentences. While in a fight he says the name of the artes out loud meaning he is more confident on his fighting skills than his social ones. Partially the reason why he gets in debt is because he doesn’t speak up.

I love that nobody questions his selective mutism, neither people that know him like Julius nor people he just met like Jude, instead they immediately look at him and understand that’s just how he is. Also nobody makes fun of nor belittles the times when he does speak, they treat him as usual; they also include him in all the conversations, they don’t exclude him because of him being mute.

In all the crossover games i’ve experienced and all the info i know about the rest, Ludger tends to be a quiet character, he does speak more in those games tho, always gentle, respectful and with a sense of humour. Other characters tend to look up at him because of his personality and his fighting strenght. (And don’t make me talk about him and Elle together like father and daughter, the dynamic they have is immaculate)

Little off topic but looking back at all those games i played, and how their characters and story gave me hope about being true and accepting myself even before i realized i related so much to them, has given me a new perspective about it all. Specifically about Ludger, not only was he the protagonist of my first Tales of Series game but also one of my fav characters whom i kin so hard, i just cannot believe sometimes how much he means to me.