#these two cannot cook

[hakugreenfinch]

thought id finally post my josuyasu comic "hanami" that i drew back in early 2024, based on a fanfiction i wrote in early 2023 but never put online <3

if anyone is interested, i still have a couple printed copies that i would be more than happy to send out for shipping price!

[thecursedcreator]

so youre telling me. toby fox gave us a tv head as tall as he is pathetic and tragic. and he expected us to be normal about it?

[lukreziaaa]

“Night gathers, and now my war begins.”

[be-an-echo]

Merry Christmas guyyyss🎄

[karmicpunishment]

ranking hunting dogs by how well i think they can cook

tachihara. this might be a controversial rating but I do think the boy can cook. i mean with his ability he could multi-task a lot of the process at once. i don't think he's like a gourmet chef or anything but he's got a decent amount of recipes under his belt, and let's be honest, he totally had to learn to fend for himself cooking-wise. it was either learn or starve. whenever he spends time in the hunting dog base after a long time away he makes everyone a meal.

jouno. if he's in a kitchen that has the proper accessibility aides he's an even better cook than tachihara, but he struggles in unfamiliar spaces (understandably). he enjoys a lot of the technical processes of cooking and cares a lot about what goes into his food.

tecchou. okay hear me out here. tecchou is a perfectly fine chef in terms of the actual cooking. he can make rice and cook meat and chop vegetables, etc. he just has absolute dogshit taste in pairings and seasonings (as seen in canon). makes the most diabolical pairings.

fukuchi. this guy got shipped out to war at 18 and hasn't looked back since. too worried about the end of the world to learn how to cook rice. and he keeps accidentally chopping cutting boards into pieces with his ability.

teruko. love her to death, absolutely cannot cook to save her life. girl has never lived a life outside of being a soldier. she never saw the point in learning how to cook. tachihara offers to teach her a little and she nearly burns down their command center (she's secretly a little glad, she wants to keep eating his cooking). she is limited to only microwave use.

[shinnyshining]

Nothing to see here, just two mad scientists in the same room

I kept my promise

[starry-sophrosyne]

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...

ELDETTE. I NEED YOU TO UNDESTAND. The temptation that ate away at me yesterday to write something about them?.. (literally only got overwritten bc i was dead tired- /srs)

Doomed yaoi but it's not concurrent, and it's not redeemable. Doomed yaoi but it once was the silly dreams of two teenage boys almost flunking college, spending their time up on the rooftops with their heads in each other's laps; Their legs hanging off of the sides of buildings, talking about their hopes for the future in what are now distant conversations. Doomed yaoi that, after going down separate paths in the past, eventually reconverged with one having gone astray, down a path of irreversible toxicity. Doomed yaoi that eventually ends in a conversation, minutes before a world that's inflicted nothing but hurt and pain on certain people falls apart.

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"You can still change, Leo. Do the same thing they did. Leave it all behind, go somewhere else? Start a new life for yourself, in a place where no one will find you? You still have time."

"... Are you stupid?"

"!.."

"I'm not a good person Tox. Me being "hurt" doesn't change anything, it doesn't atone for what I've done or make my situation remorseful to others. If I continue the cycle of inflicting pain onto others and it's not unintentional*, then my reasoning doesn't matter. I am plain evil; no different from a person who's not hurt, and all the same as anyone else."

* "... I don't even remember if it wasn't before."

"..."

"I can't change, nor can I ever be accepted somewhere else. My past would catch up with me eventually, and besides, old habits die hard."

"Maybe you think that because you don't believe you deserve a second chance, but even though you hurt people..."

"... See what I mean? You can't think of a redeeming quality for me either."

"..."

"I've told so other people this same thing, about being a lost cause. Manipulated, controlled them with it. Do you really believe that I don't think it applies to myself too?"

"... Leo, I-"

"I'm not the person I was back in college, Ztar. You know that better than anybody. Now, go. I don't want to see your face ever again."

"..."

[lunewolf13]

Steph and Cass decide to use Alfred's kitchen:

Steph: Do you ever just wonder, 'am I good enough?'

Cass: No.

Steph: That's the spirit! Now let's see how well you can cook!

Cass: Badly.

Steph: It's just waffles! How bad could you be?

Twenty minutes later, after turning off the smoke detector and opening the windows:

Steph, cutting into the 'waffle': I mean, a little burnt never hurt anyone.

That was an understatement. Really, it was impressive that she managed to make a charred waffle. How did it even happen?? Steph was right here the entire time!

As she's about to sacrifice herself and take a bite, Cass takes her wrist.

Cass: Don't eat. You'll die.

...Yeah. She probably would.

Steph: Batburger?

Cass nodded: Batburger.

Steph should've believed Tim when he said Cass has a permanent ban from Alfred's kitchen. No one's perfect.

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

imo every single member of team minato could be placed in the "standing alone in your kitchen with all the lights off cuz you couldnt be bothered to turn them on face illuminated by the microwave as you half warm up a terrible meal you're going to be eating over the sink" scenario. because they all are pathetic.

[bucket-puns]

More Ishmael treats. I needed to throw em out here

[br1ghtestlight]

imagine jimmy jr and tina having a playdate w/ their parents when they're like six months old bcuz the parents always see each other around and bob and linda don't really know anybody in the neighborhood yet..... imagine them crawling towards each other IMMEDIATELY and laughing and linda joking that they have crushes on each other and that they're gonna love each other for the rest of their lives. there's so many possibilities to imagine w/ them!!!!!

[batsplat]

When Jorge Lorenzo entered MotoGP, sparks were sure to fly. Lorenzo is both outspoken and flamboyant, and has never been at a loss for words. He has also never been afraid of confrontation, having spent virtually his entire career engaged in sniping at various targets in the paddock. Such was his reputation, indeed, that as part of his contract, Yamaha banned the "Lorenzoland" celebrations, and forced Lorenzo to work with a psychologist to keep his impetuosity in check. This was all done, of course, because Yamaha were fearing, and MotoGP fans were looking forward to, a potential clash between Lorenzo and his team mate, the equally flamboyant Valentino Rossi. But so far, all has been peace and light in the Yamaha garage, a situation possibly helped by the huge wall splitting the garage in two. But Lorenzo has not quite completed his transformation from sinner to saint. The reigning 250 world champion has a few old scores still open with former 250 champ Dani Pedrosa. And those scores are kept open by the open warfare conducted in the press between Alberto Puig, Pedrosa's mentor, and Dani Amatriain, Lorenzo's manager, two men who raced against each other in 250s, and make no secret of their hatred of each other. So it came as no surprise that Lorenzo fanned the flames of old divisions this week, complaining bitterly to the Spanish daily AS.com that Pedrosa refused to congratulate him on the podium at Qatar. "I have no interest in causing controversy," the Spaniard told AS.com, without a hint of irony, "but if I see something that's wrong, I say it publicly, without hesitation. I don't like the fact that he didn't congratulate me, but each man must do what he thinks is right. If I'd been in his place, I would have congratulated a rider who had managed to finish in 2nd place in his first race. But then, I'm not Dani Pedrosa." Lorenzo was much kinder to the man he was expected to be at war with. "I see the press and hear what people say, and they have already decided to bury him," said Lorenzo. "He finished 5th on tires which, apparently, weren't going very well in the conditions. I think he will be fighting for the win at Jerez, and will be winning races soon enough. I don't believe that he has dropped his game." There have been occasional complaints that MotoGP seems to be lacking in soap opera, especially when compared to the diva of Motorsports, Formula 1, which saw a spy saga and two team mates taking chunks out of each other in the press. With the arrival of Jorge Lorenzo, the barren times for MotoGP gossip columnists look like coming to an end.

(from here) ik i've posted chunks of this article elsewhere, but it really is a classic. every detail here is beautiful. 2008 one of the truly great seasons

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

From a previous poll it has been decided that Lan Wangji can cook, but the real question is....Can He Grill?

[marmaladedcroissant]

This was supposed to be a goofy shitpost not an hour long investment lmao

[suguwu]

date night in with nanami doing a mini iron chef competition between the two of you instead of just making dinner

(he always says you win)

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

Which is the real photo of Shin-yu in his own kitchen?

Dude, you are rich get some custom countertops it looks like you are in a dollhouse