#they are legitimately my favourite two to talk about bc of how well they end up balancing each other out

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

December Drabbles

Prompt 17: Snow boots Characters: Cheka, Leona, and Viz (OC) --------------------------------------------------------------- "Can I talk to Unca? Pleeease! Pleeease I really gotta show him my new sh- boots!" Leona grumbled pre-emptively. Hearing Cheka's voice meant one of two things. Vizzie had consensually kidnapped the child, or she was on a video call with him. Neither were ideal for Leona's plans. His plans to stay in bed and lay uninterrupted all day. Although he found Cheka slightly more tolerable now than he had before, he knew Vizzie's insistence on "exposure therapy" was bullshit - she just wanted to babysit somebody and his nephew for some reason, was her go-to. Probably because it usually got him out of bed...which...usually resulted in exercise in some capacity...which...also often made him feel less shitty, but that was besides the point! "I actually think he's napping right now." Oh thank the seven "But he can see your boots when we take you sledding, ok?" You little fucker Cheka squealed with joy at the idea. After a few more minutes of conversation that Leona blocked out, Viz knocked at the door before letting herself in. "You suck, you know that? I don't want to be out in the cold for hours watching Cheka tucker himself out, that's something you can do on your own." She frowned and sat on his bed, hitting him lightly over the head with one of his pillows. "You haven't left your room in four days Leona. Besides, if he's sledding he's basically babysitting himself, even...if he asks you if you're looking every time he goes down....I'll bring a camp chair, you can just sit in that the whole time, but you need to get outside." "Not in the fucking cold I don't." "Ok....but consider....you'll be able to watch kids wipe out in funny ways for a few hours and we can layer you up so you don't get that cold." His silence was enough to tell her he was considering it. "Will you make hot chocolate?" She smiled a bit, knowing she was about to cinch the win. "You give me the thermos, I'll make enough to fill it." He sighed dramatically and rolled over a bit. "I guess I'll come. Ruggie needs to clean my room anyways." She rolled her eyes a bit. That was a battle for another day. "We're taking him tomorrow, as a heads up. I'll be here around 11 in the morning." "Mmn....fine." Within a few minutes he was asleep again. She sighed softly, before heading to Ramshackle to prepare for the next day. (Continued tomorrow)

[microsuedemouse]

guys I am All the way fucked up about Sweet Home and if I don’t just spit out a bunch of feelings and thoughts I’m gonna explode

feel free not to read, and please kindly don’t reblog

spoilers below obv

I know I’ve said this about fiction before bc I am a person who gets Very Invested but lol I don’t even know how to recover from this

man I just. god.

I’ve never gotten into K-drama before - largely because, well, drama as a genre really isn’t my thing. if the story is best classified as a drama or a romance, it’s not likely to hold me. I’m a genre fiction guy through and through - I like romance plenty, but not as the main plot.

however my younger brother Kieran - with whom I share a huge amount of taste, and with whom I watch most things these days - had read most of the original webtoon and loved it. He lost track at some point; in the last few days he decided he’d read all but the last 30-40 chapters, I believe. But because he’d enjoyed it so much he was curious about the show, and because we’ve been really enjoying exploring the horror genre together in the last six or eight months, he asked if I was interested.

it took us a while to get around to watching it but GOD we didn’t even have to get far into the first episode for me to know I was hoooooked. it took us four days to finish, but I’ve honestly been thinking about it like, Most Of The Time since we started it.

I loved everything about this show, honestly. I haven’t read the comic (I’d like to now, though), so I didn’t have the insights my brother did on what was coming or the ways in which the show departed from the source material. he decided that by the end of the season it was essentially telling a different story, though he was enjoying it just as thoroughly as he did the comic. but anyway - I loved the characters and how well-rendered each of them was. I loved (inasmuch as one can) the way tragedy was woven through the whole show: every character, every backstory, every development. I loved the actors’ performances. I loved the monsters, because how could you NOT - and I loved the effects, the freaky stop-motion appearance of the animation, the amount that was done practically... everything was so visceral. I loved the characters and all the subtleties of their interactions and relationships. characters are always what make a story for me, and these ones were so, so wonderfully, lovingly-rendered.

I loved how much the story is about human resilience, not just in individuals - like so much survival horror focuses on - but also in the human ability to create community and look after each other.

god, did it HURT, though. like. this show hurts you from the word go and doesn’t quit, but it just gets more and more. never enough that you lose hope, because there’s always that thread of people caring and surviving and doing things for each other, but god it hurts. and then especially from the end of ep eight onward, it’s just... relentless??

like, Jae-heon’s death was. so much. I knew we were getting to the point where someone was gonna die, they had to, but FUCK. and then in the last two episodes just have absolutely no mercy at all. I don’t think there’s a single death that didn’t fucking hurt in all of that. Ms. Ahn and Ji-eun and Byung-il all being killed by people hurt so bad; Sang-wook and Yu-ri dying outside holding each other’s hands and trying to comfort one another was AWFUL. Mr. An dying in his sleep felt so fucking unfair. Mr. Han dying to help Hyun come back to himself was so, so hard.

and fuck, man, Eun-hyeok - I can’t even talk about that. I’m holding out hope that the fact that we didn’t see him die means he’s not gone. jesus.

I’m heartbroken over all of them, though some of them I knew one way or another wouldn’t make it. Mr. Han and Mr. An both hurt like hell to lose but I can like... make peace with their deaths? I guess??? I’m legitimately really really grieving Jae-heon (and they just had to add that moment with him and Ji-su to really make it fucking sting) and Sang-wook (who I really TRULY thought was gonna make it)... Yu-ri as well, to a slightly smaller degree, but I just. I really liked where her dynamics with Ji-su and Sang-wook in particular were going and I wanted more of those.

still not addressing Eun-hyeok; I won’t accept that he’s dead until the show forces me to (and even then, let’s be real, I won’t accept it)

I’m really really glad that Ji-su, Yi-kyeong, and the kids survived, because they were among my favourites; in particular I was ready from the moment the kids were introduced to pitch a fit if anything happened to them. but god, I’m honestly so fucked up over all of these deaths. like, I wouldn’t have though Eun-ji’s or Byung-il’s would hurt as much as they did, but - Eun-ji’s was so sudden, and she was so sweet. and Byung-il’s was so... unexpected? and he had this really subtle but well-done character arc, where he genuinely seemed like a braver and better person by the end in a way that you barely noticed had even happened, and then for him to go out saving Hye-in... fuck fuck fuck

I managed not to cry for most of the show, mostly I think bc I didn’t want to make it harder to read the subtitles, hah, but

I honestly just wept through those last twenty minutes or so

and now I’m just all fucked up and emotional and I crave fix-it or AU fic to soothe this wound and there’s VIRTUALLY NONE

god this is all. so inarticulate and meaningless but I needed to get it out of my system

[littlespoonevan]

OTP Tag

I was tagged by @whaticameherefor, thank you!! <3

Let’s go chronological order with the Real otps and then add whoever else i can think of lmao. Putting some of this under a cut bc it got long!

Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale (Teen Wolf)

Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard (All For the Game)

Isak Valtersen/Even Bech Naesheim (Skam)

Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich (Shameless)

Nick Miller/Jessica Day (New Girl)

Allison Argent/Scott McCall (Teen Wolf)

Otis Milburn/Maeve Wiley (Sex Education)

David Rose/Patrick Brewer (Schitt’s Creek)

Alexis Rose/Ted Mullins (Schitt’s Creek)

Eva Mohn/Jonas Noah Vasquez

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Oh man, I mean I shipped them from the beginning but episode 5 “The Tell” was sort of my holy grail episode in terms of content for scallison and thus, when i fell in love. Also special shoutout to the scene in “Heart Monitor” when Allison holds Scott’s hand under the table and it helps keep him in control and we find out she’s his anchor. I devoted my whole heart then and there <3

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Yes, extensively lmao

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

Haha nah, i’m not really an “otp as my screensaver” sort of person.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Well I mean everyone seems to be doing their damndest to keep them apart in the first place so i need them to actually get together first sakdjfhksa but yeah, let’s just say my response to the season 2 finale was “oh nooooooooo” which basically answers this question lol.

5. Why is 1 so important?

Ugh, because. Their dynamic was so, so good and it came out of Nowhere. Like it was one of those relationships that sort of sneaks up on you like, holy shit these two bounce off each other really well????? And the dichotomy of them shit-talking each other All The Time but then continually sacrificing themselves for one another and taking turns saving each other’s lives was so fascinating to watch. Especially as the shit-talking became decidedly more fond as the seasons went on and you realised they’d genuinely started to care for each other. We could’ve had it all and I’m still bitter lmao.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Definitely funny but in their moments of sincerity were so incredibly sweet <3

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Oooooh this is hard sakdjhsjh I mean, I ship them all because I feel like they have chemistry and each relationship is different. I think I’ll say the skam ships just bc isak/even and eva/jonas legitimately felt like real couples to me? like if you told either pairing was together irl I’d believe you, y’know? (there’s 3 or 4 others that are strong contenders though!!!)

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

Oof. Again, this is really hard. I’m inclined to say Ian/Mickey bc I think they have the longest history of any of the ships I’ve listed here and it just runs so deep, y’know? Like to quote mickey, they’re under each other’s skin. So in that regard, I think they’d have the strongest bond. (The same could sort of be said for andrew/neil in terms of what they’ve gone through together too though) But I feel like nick and jess have an amazing bond too in the sense that they really, really are best friends beneath everything and you can See that in the way they love each other. 

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

Oh my god i have no idea. I’ve definitely rewatched all of skam once (possibly twice?) but I’ve rewatched individual clips/episodes a million times over. The morning the 8.10 kitchen scene came out i just stayed in bed for like 3 hours rewatching it over and over again askdjhcs That’s kind of the beauty of the clip format though in terms of rewatching favourite scenes :’)

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

Okay I’m assuming this means like, stayed together the longest? In which case that goes to Ian and Mickey again, I believe (or Nick and Jess if you include the 3 year time jump)

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

Once and I’m Still angry lmao

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Oh my god 2 lmfao i love david and patrick but i’m p sure andrew and neil were built for a zombie apocalypse sadjhasjh

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Mm they’ve sort of hid their feelings for each other???? Like obviously not just from each other but also from other people like Ola etc

14. Is 4 still together?

Yep and happily married :D

15. Is 10 canon?

YES. Thank you Julie Andem and Marlon Langland!!!!

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Jfc. It’d be a toss up between Andrew/Neil, Stiles/Derek and Ian/Mickey

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Yes, Schmidt did for like one ep and it was hilarious but also ended in Nick telling Jess how he feels :’))))))

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

All of them tbh. I care about Otis/Maeve and Alexis/Ted slightly less but the other 8 are some forever otps 

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

I did back in the day for like 2 years straight lol

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

asdkjfhdsa ok i’m gonna say Alexis and Ted but jUST BECAUSE they already ended their relationship themselves and i’m content w the ending even if i desperately hope they’ll reunite some day down the line. The others I simply cannot compromise on 

I’m gonna tag @thisfeebleheart, @himick, @smores100 and @happyminyards

[nu-metal-generation]

i’m super aware of and interested in genre classifications in music, even though i know they dont have any real bearing on anything. as such, ive noticed a LOT of bands that get referred to as nu metal when in reality they are of some adjacent genre, so im gonna explain some shit bc i can and bc im in special interest limbo.

1. What makes a band nu metal?

Obviously this is up for debate, seeing as how any genre is only defined by the loose boundaries set for it by listeners and critics. However, the criteria I would use to determine would boil down to the following: Heaviness, aggression, and Groove™. But there are lots of bands I see referred to (and even bands widely accepted) as nu metal that do not meet this criteria. It’s worth noting that this is only the stuff that I would consider “true” nu metal, and there’s plenty of this nu-adjacent stuff that I would classify as part of the genre in passing.

2. Examples

Look at my avi. I adore Linkin Park with my entire heart. However. I would not at all consider them true nu metal. They are probably one of the most famous examples used of a nu metal band, but I don’t believe this claim to be legitimate. You see, despite their fortitude in the aggression department, they’re in one of the several grey areas between the genre and its surrounding genres. LP is a rap rock band, and most hard rock or metal bands that employ rapping end up receiving the nu metal label at some point or another. But rap does not equal Groove™. It can serve as the groove, or it can supplement it in some way, but they are not equivalent. By and large, LP doesn’t have that groove in their sound on their albums that get classified as nu metal (HT, THP, Meteora) and the albums where they do find a groove (ATS, HT EP) are not heavy enough to warrant a nu metal label. Again, this isn’t a bad thing, I wouldn’t change a thing about these records. I’m just stating some observations.

Another grey area I see a lot is alternative metal/post-grunge. This is best encapsulated with bands like Staind. While I would maybe concede that a song like Mudshovel could probably be considered a nu metal track, what I’ve heard from Staind on the whole is post-grunge with not a lot of nu metal going on. Once again, they don’t have the Groove™. They also often don’t have the high-speed, breakneck aggression that you get from proper nu metal bands.

Industrial tends to exhibit this as well. I would absolutely not consider Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie, or Nine Inch Nails nu metal in any regard, but I’ve seen that happen. I think this is purely through association bc of bands like Static-X, Spineshank, and Dope who are nu metal and also industrial bands.

Yet another would be funk rock. This is a bit more niche than the last two, but I often see people referring to the likes of Red Hot Chili Peppers as “proto-nu metal” and while I can’t really dispute that too much, I don’t think it’s a super accurate term. “Proto” implies that it’s basically the thing you’re applying the prefix to, just not quite developed. For example, the Stooges are called proto-punk because they were almost punk rock, but punk hadn’t quite developed yet, and so the Stooges helped tip the scales to allow punk to be created. Similarly, I could understand something like Rage Against The Machine being described as proto-nu metal, but I often see it applied to bands like the Chilies that don’t line up quite as well (pls don’t interpret this as me ranting or complaining, again I’m just dumping some observations I’ve made).

I’m also gonna take a sec to talk about some outlier bands. First, Crazy Town, who baffle me. I don’t know how anybody considers them nu metal. In fairness, I only know them by their one huge song, so maybe I missed something, but Butterfly is a rap rock song and that’s it. No nu, no metal. Idk. Just weird. Second, Evanescence, which I understand. Bring Me To Life features those rap vocals that make everybody think Ev is a nu metal band, but they don’t check any of my boxes. They’re not particularly aggressive in sound, not extraordinarily heavy, and definitely don’t have the groove. Thirdly, and this is a big one, Bring Me The Horizon. ?!?! What?? If you’ve listened to wonderful life and nothing else, maybe, but people have been saying that since That’s The Spirit which is not in any way a nu metal album. I think what happens a lot is that since nu metal is likely the most expansive and well-known forms of alt metal, it gets substituted as though they’re synonyms, but the only thing remotely nu metal about TTS is Oli’s vocals being reminiscent of Chester B’s. But the same could be said for Sempiternal, and noone calls that nu metal in any regard! Mind-boggling to me, but if anyone has answers pls explain it to me.

Now to my favourite thing... 3. Categories

also im just doing some of the biggest bands bc those are the most familiar ones

Actual nu metal bands (according to me): Korn (duh), Slipknot, System Of A Down, Mudvayne, Disturbed, Kittie.

Rap rock/Rap metal that is also nu metal: Limp Bizkit, Ill Niño, Vanilla Ice (yeah he’s made nu metal if you didnt know).

Industrial metal that is also nu metal: Dope, Static-X, Spineshank, Powerman 5000.

Rap rock/rap metal that is not true nu metal: Linkin Park, Crazy Town, Papa Roach (debatable)

Alt metal/Post-grunge that is not nu metal: Staind, Three Days Grace, Hoobastank, Breaking Benjamin.

“Proto” shit: RATM, Sugar Ray, Faith No More.

???: Evanescence, Crazy Town, Bring Me The Horizon.

Nu metalcore/nu metal revival: Cane Hill, Wage War (debatable), Demon Hunter, King 810.

[meanderfall]

thank you my love!! ^v^

(lmao i finally did it @solienna... it’s been like months but i finally completed this. also if you’re wondering, when i first tried to answer the original ask, it wouldn’t save any of what i’d written as a draft, so i just started a new post lol)

1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle

Flaws (acoustic) by Bastille

Wait For It from Hamilton

Here Comes the Rain Again by Eurythmics

3. three songs you were recently obsessed with

World in my Pocket by The Unlikely Candidates

The Darker the Weather, the Better the Man by MISSIO

Walk Me Home by P!NK

8. three songs that remind you most of summer and vacation

this is probably a weird choice but The Kids Aren’t Alright. I honestly don’t know why, it just gives me summer vibes.

Taste by Sleeping at Last (probably bc i listened to this A LOT while playing stardew valley and stardew gives me summer vibes)

Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy

(this section was so hard.... there are like 0 songs that i actually associate with summer and vacation. literally the only way i do is if i discover said song and listen to a lot around the time summer starts)

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack

What’s Up Danger By Blackway & Black Caviar

I’m Still Standing by Taron Egerton

The Cyborg Fights (Genos’ theme from One-Punch Man. It’s an instrumental piece, and it goes off).

12. three favourite songs from video games

i fucking hate you adri, so much, i never listen to video game soundtracks, you fool, i have nothing to offer you

Klavier’s theme from Ace Attorney! Called Guilty Love lmao

I played Night in the Woods recently, and I think my two favourite pieces were Astral Alley (it plays during a dream sequence and i literally fucked around doing nothing for a bit just to listen to this. It’s so peaceful, but there’s something also... wistful or sad about it, that i just love.) 

and Dusk Stars! (That one plays while stargazing with a professor as a sidequest and tbh it was one of my favourite parts of the game. Surprisingly wholesome, and the last bit really struck a cord with me.)

13. three songs you want at your funeral

Saturn by Sleeping at Last

I Lived by One Republic

Pieces by Harbor and Home (low-key this song is practically a narrative for my life and for once it’s just comforting)

14. three songs you want at your wedding

Bright by Echosmith

Lovesong by Adele

Meaning of Life by Kelly Clarkson

(i don’t.... listen to happy love songs.... i was just going through my library of romantic songs and i was like “this is too pop, this is too angsty, this is pre-relationship, etc. etc”.)

15. three songs you want to dance with your love to

Fly Me to the Moon

Turn Time Off

Anna Sun by Walk the Moon (tbh this song gives me a very specific image of like moving into a new home with my lover and this song is playing while we’re unpacking, or even just any high energy song, and we end up pausing unpacking long enough to dance silly together and sing the song and it ends with us like hugging with a peck for good measure and life seems so good and perfect)

18. three songs that remind you of your best friend

Budapest (legit bc she showed me this song and was like “i think you would like this!” and you bet your ass i would love that song even if it was trash)

Another Night on Mars

Trouble is a Friend by Lenka (why? i legitimately don’t know. Especially since she’s the sweetest and most peaceful person ever. Then again she is a junkrat main.... never mind it makes sense)

19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure

Waters of Megalovania

Jessie’s Girl (this is like. the quintessential chad complaining about being friend-zoned, but i jam out to it every time, and im sucker for jealousy and unrequited love)

I Don’t Even Care About You by MISSIO for the days when im angry or having a bad day or more annoyed than usual at people trying to interact with me, and I just want to indulge in my old cynicism and hatred of the world in general

20. three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one

False Confidence by Noah Kahan

Hate That You Know Me by the Bleachers

Happy by Marina and the Diamonds

21. three songs of your childhood

oh boy adri, i was an angsty kid. I also tried to keep this specifically to songs I listened to before the age of ten just bc in my head my childhood was pretty much from the ages 3 to ~9, and honestly corresponds to a very specific period in my life

Because of You by Kelly Clarkson

Pieces by Sum 41

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad

All We Do by Oh Wonder

All the King’s Horses by Karmina

SoLow by Keegan Calmes

(this selection was actually hard bc there are... a surprising amount tbh and that probably isnt a good thing lol)

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up

How Far We’ve Come by Matchbox Twenty

High on Humans by Oh Wonder

Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon (to the surprise of exactly no one. This song came out five years ago and it’s STILL my feel good song, even when i feel terrible)

(this was also a hard choice because i got so many feel good, pump me up songs as well, which i guess??? balances out the amount of sad songs i know and love??)

24. three favourite old songs

lmao how old are we talking here? early 2000s? before that? 1950s? i’ll just go with some goodies

Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer (OKAY SO. this is low-key an all-time favourite of mine and that i relate(d) to a LOT as the person he’s singing about.)

Africa by Toto (damn fucking right im putting it adri!!!)

For What It’s Worth by Buffalo Springfield

26. three favourite non-English songs

Alles Neu by Peter Fox (for once not a lyrics video, bc the official video is part of the Experience for this song)

The Narrow Street by Shin-Yong Woo (aka Jumin’s voice actor. This is simultaneously a huge mood, and gives me feels for my husband)

Little Traveler by clear (the only vocaloid song i know! im truly a sucker for The Little Prince though, the novel that inspired this song)

(be proud of me adri, this section could’ve been nothing but japanese songs, a good portion just from anime.)

29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)

im not gonna lie, a lot of these songs were kind of taken by the childhood ones but lemme see if i can scrounge up any others

In a Big Country by Big Country

Stand by Rascal Flatts

Better Get to Livin’ by Dolly Parton

(As you know, I listen to the first one A LOT, pretty much every time I get into sad mood and want some comfort, but the other two, i sort of forget about, even though i remember these songs being super important to me when i was younger. And re-listening to these now is... kind of crazy tbh, and bringing up all sorts of memories. I will say, perhaps i should give younger me more credit for how hard she was trying to heal and be a better person, just based on these songs lol)

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

Lemme see, im gonna give you guys some songs that I internally categorize as late night songs. The songs that make you feel like you’re listening to it at 2 am on a Saturday night, and reality feels just a little bit shifted, and everything feels deeper, more meaningful

Sloppy Seconds by Watsky

Shrike by Hozier

Hurricane by Reuben and the Dark

Sunflower by Post Malone, Swae Lee

+Bonus. Three songs I can listen to, no matter what my mood

Muscle Memory (Acoustic) by Lights. No joke, even on days where i feel like any song is going to irritate the fuck out of me and im sick of listening to music and the emotions they evoke, i can listen to this and immediately feel better

It’s Alright by Mother Mother (legit whenever it shows up in my recommended i smash that mf play button no matter what. it’s like one of, if not the only, song that matches the screaming in my head.)

You’re Somebody Else by flora cash (same as the two above tbh)

[musingmycelium]

da 20 questions

i was tagged by @goblin-deity thanks dear <3 and i’ll tag @lyrium-lovesong @raymurata @pegaeae @veridium-bye and @crystal-grace <3 no obligations of course <3

01) Favourite game of the series?

ooooghghghghghgh Origins is my Favorite, the Story........

02) How did you discover Dragon Age?

i recieved a copy of inquisition as a gift, became immediately immursed but i didn’t dig more into the series for a good half a year or so? at which point i discovered the other two games and went Oh Fuck

03) How many times you’ve played the games? 

oh, uHHHHHHH, Far Too Many. i’ve sunk over 1k hours into dai alone, origins and da2 probably have about 1k combined?

04) Favourite race to play as?

i’m always a slut for elves 

05) Favourite class?

me, a staff wielding bisexual: i’m Mage, all the way. though i don’t mind rogue if i mix things up [which is like, i think i have three or four rogue play throughs out of all of them?] i NEVER play warrior bc i’m a bottom i’m not about that life

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

i play in character! so i’ve got some Wildly different world states depending on which playthrough/oc i’m on

07) Go-to adventuring group?

for my Canon world states i’ve got origins gang: sten, zevran, morrigan. da2 gang: fenris/aveline, anders/merrill, varric. dai gang: dorian, bull, solas/sera  i sense a theme...... 

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

oh god, ellanis and noure are my most fleshed out origins kids, wren and galahad are less fleshed out, sorta, but i Love them, idrilla and da’ean are pretty fleshed out as well -though linayel and mithra are also fairly fleshed out i just never write about them 

09) Favourite romance?

ZEVRAN -god i love him so much hhhhhHHHHHHHH he’s got Everything, everytime i play ellanis and he goes ‘the grey wardens die here’ i’m Fucking Lost Already man. hhhhhoooohhghghghghghgh i’d go on but i’m running on cough syrup and midol so it would be even less coherent than ususal

10) Have you read any of the comics/books?

lmao i own all the books but i haven’t been able to finish them because My God are they poorly written. LIKE good Characters, good characters, shit prose.

11) If you read them, which was your favourite book?

the one i’m furthest along in rn is stolen throne so i’ll go with that one

12) Favourite DLCs?

jaws of hakon -holy shit as an archaeologist grad student i cannot tell you how much i Fucking Loved the lore dump in site form that was jaws of hakon JUST OH MY GOD it was AMAZING the first time you talk to professor what’shisface with the hot accent and he starts talking about chronologies via buckles i was fucking lost in nerd heaven

13) Things that annoy you.

homophobia and transphobia and racism. the games are Rife with bad correlations between real people and grey morality and poor handling of sensitive contents, though i don’t know if it was all done for ‘woke’ points or if some came from legitimate good intentions, most of my problems lie in those areas. fandom also hits a lot of my annoyances but that’s what block is for

14) Orlais or Ferelden?

antiva bitch

15) Templars or mages?

mages

16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

same one! ellanis is my canon hof but noure is a part of his backstory and they meet during the blight [ellanis frees noure from a sentence of tranquility and conscripts them, uh, temporarily] noure leaves the group after like a week?ish and goes to nevarra. wren and galahad are twins, wren being the older one and the main rabble-rouser hawke. da’ean is the only quizzy but idrilla, linayel, mithra and a handful of other lavellan ocs all exist within the clan -idrilla and linayel and a few others come to skyhold after clan lavellan handles the unrest in wycome with da’ean’s help [my canon there is a bit wonky as of yet as i’m still working out the kinks]  

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

this is the part i suck at, i think ellanis named the mabari something after the flower that saved him? but i don’t remember tbh, and that’s the only one i cna think of rn too lkjlkjlkjklj

18) Have you installed any mods?

oh yes. ohhh yes i have an extense amount of mods on all three games, mostly cosmetic ones but a few gameplay ones

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?

ellanis didn’t no, he thought warden’s were a bit of reality mixed with myth. when duncan shows up he’s more skeptical and curious than anything else, and his joining is less than enthusiastic but he makes the most of it for a good five years, before he fucks off to do his own research in antiva in seclusion -he just leaves, with an encripted note for nate making him warden-commander of ferelden while he’s gone and tells him not to tell anyone where he’s gone. only nate and velanna know where he is in the wardens

20) Hawke’s personality?

wren is a purple hawke! she knows what she wants and she is not afraid to go after it, although she does care deeply and shows her affections loudly. she’s a fucking chaotic stupid mess and i love her.

galahad is blue throughout. a natural big brother, super loving and patient and caring. he’s always looking to help, though when things go wrong he tends to blame himself only, he’s more together than wren though. 

21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition?

....yes.......  my inquisition is a fashion disaster, everyone has a palatte but i do complimentary colors for my parties and lis Of Course

22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

yes, ellanis would go back and kill the shems before they could crash the wedding -to prevent shianni from ever having to live through what she did. he would still have probably been conscripted by duncan soooo not too big a change for him but, for shianni it would be huge. 

ellanis has another but it’s tied up with noure’s: noure would go back and ambush the templars before being captured and then run for their life. without ever having lived in the circle i don’t, know exactly how noure would come out -probably happier, less jagged, less terrified and paranoid. but probably not by much if they had to live their life constantly looking over their shoulder. they may have ended up in nevarra this way too, but they wouldn’t have ever made it to kirkwall and they never would have met anders or karl, they may have never fallen out of love with ellanis via distance/assumed death, it would be far different than what happened.

wren and galahad both would go back and save bethany. doesn’t matter how, or what the cost to themselves would have been that’s their little sister and they would do anything to save her if they could.

da’ean’s is much the same. his biggest regret, the thing which haunts him the most is ashalle’s [not dao ashalle lmao] death. he was supposed to protect her and after what happens in that field and that month, da’ean blames himself for how his sister died. though he isn’t the one to blame, and later [far, far later] he is able to come to terms with what happened. though he never Truly shakes the guilt.

linayel would probably try to save his mother’s sight. he would tell her to stay with him by the fire, or would try and find a cure faster for her. the illness wasn’t his fault and he knows it wasn’t but given the chance he would save her sight if he could.  

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

lmao canon? never heard of her, a shitton of what i write is either me taking canon and making it Good/Useable or me shitting on it and saying this is My Castle Now

24) Who did you leave in the Fade?

this choiice always pissed me off, or it did after i knew who they were. when i first played i had no idea who hawke was or who the grey warden contact was [stroud for my first couple of play throughs] at all. so i would flip flop between them without care really. 

now, in my canon alistair stays behind while hawke physically drags da’ean out because he was going to stay and fight or find a different way out. i still think its shit and a naratively piss-poor meta punch though

25) Favourite mount?

i’m a dirty gatherer so i don’t actually use any mount. the only time i Have used a mount was the royal 16 for screenshot purposes, which i lost when my harddrive crashed a couple months ago D:

[sugakookiesbutbadass]

💜 Soft Bias Tag 💜

i was tagged by the two lovelys at @bts-soccer-moms​ to do the most adorable tag ever ~ tysm this was so much fun!! 

1. Who is my bias?

my favourite muscle bunny jeon jungkook, kookie, nochu, love of my life

2. What made you notice them?

“Dope” was my first bts mv and i swear it was legitimately love at first sight (that police uniform got me whipped from the start but shhh) i’ve never chosen a bias that quick in my life tbh i didn’t even know what a bias was back then and i already knew it was going to be him (cheesy i know) also when i started watching more bts content i fell for his honey vocals, his big sparkly eyes, his cute bunny smile, and he’s just my ideal boy you know? he’s beautiful and talented what more can i say?

3. What’s your favourite thing about them?

i know everyone says this about their bias but honestly can you blame us? of course the answer is everything! i love everything about him, his passion and ambition for music, his big heart and love for his hyungs, his cute mannerisms, his will to strive to become the best at whatever he sets his mind to, he’s not only beautiful on the outside but he’s infinitely beautiful on the inside 

4. Who would initiate skinship more?

i think at the beginning probably me? mostly because he's such a shy shy boy but also i think once he's more comfortable it will be pretty balanced between us

5. Who would hog the blankets more?

either neither of us or him bc i'm literally a human heater so i don't really need to hog the blankets that much plus if he just cuddles up to me he wouldn't need to hog them anyways  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. Who would be more clingy?

i don't think either of us are that noticeably clingy but if it's just us and not in public then perhaps me? 

7. Who would say “I love you” first?

hmmm is it cheesy if i say we happened to say it at the same moment bc it finally felt right? lolol but idk i think maybe he would to say it first cuz it takes me a while to finally admit things so yeah

8. Who easily be more flustered?

oh man i think we both tie in this one but i’d like to think that i can hide it better than him, i mean have you seen the stuttering mess kookie is when his hyungs catch him off guard poor bun bun

9. What cuddling position would you two have?

please refer to this taekook moment as a point of reference

10. Which colours remind you of him?

two colours come to mind:

~ golden honey yellow: he's not the golden maknae for nothing, also like i've said before, his honey vocals make me melt every time and he's also the sweetest boy so of course he reminds me of honey plus he looks so precious whenever he wears yellow

~ a deep bold red: it reminds me of the fire and raw passion in his eyes as he performs, the energy he exerts when he dances, and just that alluring presence he holds when he knows he's owning the stage

tldr: kookie is 💛✨🍯 and jungkook is ❤️🔥🎤

11. What season would you like to spend with them?

summer! i want to have all the fun in the world with him without any worries or cares in the back of our minds, i want to have cute amusement park dates, ice cream at the park dates, bowling alley and arcade dates, everything and anything, we could go out to the pier, stargaze, the whole shabang 

12. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

based on the cooking run bts episodes, i think he'd be better in the kitchen than me tbh and i'm not much of a baker but i will help if i see someone else baking but also low key so that i can sneak a bite or two

13. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

i think both of us would crack a pun every now and then and the other person would just sigh and roll their eyes but also quietly chuckle and note to themselves to one up the other person in the future 

14. Who would want to adopt 50 cats and dogs?

i think we would alternate between one of us being like "you know what sounds like a good idea? adopting a dog. right now. let's do it." and the other one being the Reasonable One™ but then eventually one day we both end up being the one wanting the dog and attempting to enable the other and so we end up getting a cute dog child and we live happily ever after the end

15. Which one of you would nearly burn the kitchen down trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

well considering kookie had said before that he has One Fear which happens to be microwaves so i'm gonna say it's him. it will be like:

him: "kirstyyyy can you make me a pop tart?"

me: "sorry kookie i'm a bit busy at the moment, can you try making it yourself?"

*smoke detector goes off in the distance* 

me: *cleans up the mess and makes him a new one* 

me: "you're an idiot" 

him: "yeah but i'm your idiot" 😉 

me: “ugh you're lucky i still think you're cute” 🙄 

him: “heheh sorry ily” 😙

16. Who likes to lean over trail railings and who pulls them back?

i think we'd both have our moments for this because we both have no fear of heights and have moments where #dangerismymiddlename but then again we are also promoters of safety so yeah 

17. What would watching a horror movie with them be like?

it would consist of a lot of fun banter and teasing towards whoever jumps or get scared :P i really enjoy watching horror films with company because i love commentating (especially for dumb horror films where i get to yell at the characters for making dumbass decisions) but i also get a laugh whenever someone (including myself) gets a big scare so yeah, i think it would be fun to have a horror movie marathon with kookie during spooky season or something

18. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

i think kookie can be 50/50 i mean have you seen this boy's duality? his dorky offstage personality vs his sensual onstage presence gives me whiplash.. me on the other hand, i think my cheesiness will outweigh my smoothness like 75/25 

19. Who would be more competitive?

we will make everything a competition, but like in a fun healthy way like "i bet i can beat you in this track in mario kart" "iS tHaT A cHaLLeNgE??!?" and whoever wins gets like a little prize each time (can be anything from food to a peck on the cheek to getting the better controller next time to picking the next movie etc.) like just simple silly competitions to keep it interesting (no sore losers or egotistic winners in this house, it's all just fun and games) and ooo bonus: we can keep a little chart over like the month or maybe the year like a "jungkook vs kirsty" and the overall winner gets a grand prize of whatever they want 

20. Who would have to be given constant reminders (to eat, sleep, drink water, etc.)

him. we all know that he works his hardest and tries to push himself past his limits so i think he would need someone to gently remind him to take care of himself from time to time :’( 

21. Who sends memes and who sends cute “i miss you” texts at 3 am?

we're talking about your resident meme king and queen here so what do you think? but then again we both have our soft hours so i think it will be a fair mix of both. something like 

"i miss you"

"you meme a lot to me" 

and that’s it!! this was honestly so much fun to do and i’m now feeling softer than usual for my bunny rip gonna go watch some cute compilations or something ok byeee

i tag: @wen-jun-bae, @blueberry-child, @taeyongskookie, @cyphersnamjoon, @mysticalj, @jinstaej, @min-baby-boy-yoongi, @majinstic, @madpanda69, @kochiniseokjinnie, @im-captain-of-this-ship,  @kawaii-ing, @chiantae, @dailygifihope, and anyone else who wants to do this :) 

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE SEVEN

“I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING.” - joey

HOH: Nathan UPSIDE DOWN: Emma NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Joshua FINAL NOMINEES: Josh C & Kiki EVICTED: Josh C (6-0)

ARIA

So,,,i highkey fucked up but all good things come to an end, I couldn't play the middle forever but the way it ended was just a little earlier than i expected. Also i handled the backlash of the dpov HORRIBLY! I did so many things wrong this week its insane even though i was on all day calling people i still fucked up,,,but its fine nothing i can really do to change that. But from here i want to fix things and do better, which does start with addressing where I fucked up so lets start with that woot woot (also holy shit that double was so draining this is the first time ive felt legitimately tired in a while and its only 1 am) 

1. COMP FLOPS

-literally all my allies flopped on the comps when we REALLY needed to win and its even worse combined with the information I was told where people told me they were throwing just to do well instead- its clear they weren't being honest with me and I settled into their lies without an ounce of hesitation 

2. LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

I just really settled certain things poorly leading up to this night, i think somewhere i majorly fucked up is with emma, if i was able to get her to vote out nick or get jacob to dpov someone she would vote out i would be in a much better position atm but i didn't and therefore ive exposed myself. And if i was able to receive knowledge of her rose gold dpov before hand i couldve worked out a new plan that way

3. DAMAGE CONTROL

This is where i **truly** fucked up and its gonna show in my jury management too, like theres NO way i could ever get nicks vote at this point in time. Also my gut instinct after the vote was to lie about the way i voted to kiki/joshua/nick/jev when i shouldve came clean and used a bullshit excuse about how i heard nick was after me or something. It's gonna damage my relationships with all of them

SO wabam here i am slightly fucked due to me being a mess but its okay!! I'm still in the game and while im not in as good as a position as I was last time im still certain i can get back into everyones good graces!! And i mean this vote did reveal that a lot of people consider me to be in a duo with them??? which um is kinda weird HBFSHDF Like joey and emma were both calling us duo of the season and i was like....k cute cool totally called that and knew we were a duo yup yup- FBHJDSBF LMAO but i mean in terms of my own position you have the two trios (jacob/bri/nathan and jev/kiki/joshua) who are going to go after each other with Josh C and Emma leaning toward jev/kiki/joshua while me and joey lean towards jacob/bri/nathan. Its crazy that its literally f10 and its five versus five with hardly any true middle player (for now wink wonk) 

But now that nick is out I need to think about whats next and whats my next big move. I think rn im involved with a lot of moves but im not the face of them (bri using pov on nathan, jacob dpoving bri) and such but if i want to win I have to make a move of my own and DEF need to work on jury management bc again nick is gonna hate my guts after reading my gbm,,,as yousef would say "oopsie whoopsie" so I think from here I need to get back in jev/kiki/joshua's good graces SOME how and im really tempted to come clean about my vote bc i think thats going to hurt me in the long run and theres literally already an alliance of all five of that side so like....whats the point of sewing mistrust but also, i do kinda want to try just being a dirty crime snake this game and seeing how much control I truly have on this game. Literally EVERYONE except those three knows my true vote and i've told them all to keep it to themselves so we'll see what happens,,,, im kinda tempted to pin the vote on emma just for funsies and tell them that "jacob told me hes close to emma" or some bs like that but also,,,thats kinda mean yknow? Its also a testament to test how much that trio trusts me which im GUESSING is less than emma but who knows maybe ill get lucky :DD 

Anyways in terms of moving on I really need someone who actually likes me to join jury so its not completely set against me the whole time but also im not sure how thats gonna go down ugh. I mean in terms of end game my options are starting to become limited because nathan/bri/jacob would all BODY me at the end bc at this point they've been the face of big moves and I hope my big move can be turning on one of them and getting them out at some point so when i really start to look at a realistic f2 I can win,,, im kinda leaning toward my new duos of emma or joey which is kinda a shocker to me too lemme tell u HFBSDF but joey's perception of the game seems,,,,messy and I think i can beat him while emma is def doing better but she hasnt snapped yet so i think i can maybe beat her. And then jev/joshua/kiki depends im not sure yet but the thing with them is none of them are gonna want to bring me to the end which is super frustrating (i mean i did just snake em so,,,maybe its deserved) 

The thing is that I like being honest about my vote so trying to have an honest game convo with any of those three is gonna be really hard,,,,esp considering they were all my targets for live night but here we are :') And i really dont know what to do at this point which is really annoyinggg (annoying @ myself theyre all lovely) I think im gonna have to wait a bit before i can try getting them all to fully trust me rn i dont know this has been such a mess but im doing my best!! Before i end this probably poorly aging paragraph its trust ranking time

1.myself (FUCK, and i cant stress this enough, EVERYONE)

HUGE GAP

2.Brianna (shes slowly becoming more stuck in jacob's trap but i do still think shes loyal to me, god IS a woman!!!)

3.Jacob (hate having this man so high bc hes bodying this game but he tells me a lot ig :/ )

ANOTHER GAP

4. Nathan (we need to call and discuss live night but he isnt going to like nominate me or anything)

5.Joey (apparently we're a f2?? not sure where that happened but also hes cagey idk)

-smol gap-

6.Josh C (told me his alliance!! shame he doesnt know im gonna rat him out to my side teehee)

7.Emma (we're also a duo?? almost forgot about that but i fucked her over here a bit but i can build the trust back up i THINK)

anothe gap

8.Jev (he talked to me after live night and didnt ask about my vote so thats cute....not sure where we stand...help)

9.Kiki (we talked briefly after the vote but idk if they realized im a snake yet)

10.Joshua (the silence is deafening) 

Not happy w/ my position yet and im likely to just come clean to joshua in a call tmrow because hes honestly really sweet and his friendship means a lot to me but i need to figure out how I leave me connection with jacob/bri out of it.. ill think of something

praying im not the most hated here but if i am it wouldnt be the first time ig, and thats on pewiod <3

JOEY

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING. Not a damn soul is coming after me, and more importantly, I have numbers on my side, and no one’s gonna be pissed off at me on BOTH sides of the house. People say Josh C is playing both sides? Nah, it’s me. I need him out because I’m trying to ride that middle man status. My ideal plan is to see Emma go home next week, so that way I ain’t responsible. I want to get rid of Jacob at Final 7, and I will damn sure make that happen. Aria and I have a Final 2 that I plan on sticking to. Seeing Nick go was sad, but good lord it was I-C-O-N-I-C.

EMMA

Everything in this game lately has honestly pissed me off first it was me getting blindsided during live night even though i didnt really want to vote nathan if i was being honest i wanted brianna out over nathan because i thought nathan would be more easier to work with them boom Dpov and boom nick going i am like a little unsure if i regret using the dpov or not i do regret it well because nathan won hoh and sent me to the upside down and nick probably wouldnt try super hard for hoh but then again it seemed my so called allies were probably more closer to nick but i am not even sure my so called low confidence is my weakness in my games but i dont know how to be more confident pretty sure everyone beats me in the end at this point unless if i win an hoh if i do at this point Jacob/Brianna/even nathan getting nominated i didnt want nathan out before like if i won hoh i would of put him to the upside straight up nominate brianna and jacob if one of them goes off the block joey gets put up as a pawn after the upside down week im gonna do whatever to make it to the end idc if i go to the end with somebody i cant beat i just want to make this game enjoyable for me as i can i dont want to float for awhile then bring a goat to the end NNN 

EMMA

my shit list  in order to who i target to who isnt on my rader

Jacob > Nathan > Brianna > Joshua = Aria > Jev > Kiki/Josh C > Joey

who i like most to who is most annoying to play on a game level (i dont really hate or dislike anyone on a personal level)

Aria > Jev > Joshua *tiny gap*  Nathan > Kiki/Josh C >>>>>>>>>>> Jacob > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Joey = brianna also joey would be higher but he lied to me for no reason even tho i didnt mind putting alot of trust in me and i love brianna on a personal level but girl i am not good socially with her which is my fault and her fault also jacob kinda assumed stuff about me like not big stuff like meta  but he still told other people except me (people who are out who i love)  Gina/Jakey > Saira=Nick=Monty=Mo *small gap* Nash >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> dog shit > Taylers dinner (dylan and the og homies know it) >>>>>>>>>>>> DEM

but yeah this game has made me happy because everyone is nice except dem but its been hard to play it because if i felt better i think i would of been playing a 100x times better game

JEV

So I'm safe but it comes at the cost of one of my two favourite people in this game. I've arguably grown closest to Josh C throughout this game, but I promised Joshua that if he saved me with veto I'd vote however he wanted and he wants Josh C to leave over Kiki. This week is me and Nash as final noms levels of ugly.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szNaW65lCJ0&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=8&t=0s

[flowers-in-your-dustbin]

All the numbers again (second tag reblog)

1: When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal cause I like to drink it!

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yeah, but when I can get into the warmth after that's even better!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I try to remember the page number instead so usually end on a multiple of 10 or 5.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea: Two sugars, milk, hopefully brewed by the gal. Coffee: I don’t!

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Kinda!

6: do you keep plants? Nope!

7: do you name your plants? None to name!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Oils if I had the money for that so typically watercolours

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I am right now.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Typically side, but back is fine. Not stomach really!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? Oh My Gouda.

12: what's your favorite planet? Uranus ;)

13: what's something that made you smile today? My gal surprised me with a beautiful orchid

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Edgy expose brick aesthetic

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Uranus’ blue glow is due to an abundance of methane which filters out red light.

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Spaghetti carbonara probs! Especially cooked by the best.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I don’t! I did want pastel pink in August.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I had a paddy fit in primary school because I used to always sabotage my meals so I didn't eat them but I spilt milk on something I legitimately didn’t mind having... I cried over spilt milk.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do! I write the days events and my feelings, I draw key points or little objects. Not all the time tho.

20: what's your favorite eye color? A nice hazel-y to chocolate amber brown woop

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. A grey Kanken Fjallraven, if Switzerland counts as hell, there you have it.

22: are you a morning person? Yeah! I’m straight too!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Exactly that, nothing. With a side of music.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Only the one.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? An abandoned slaughterhouse. Soz vegans

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Black old skool vans hehe original

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Strawberry!

28: sunrise or sunset? Why not both in a day?

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? I’m not sure!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? I’m not sure, close calls/

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I like socks. Weird socks are fun. So are odd ones. I do not sleep with my socks, nor do I confine myself to white sock hell.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. We had deep convos for the time, we probs cried, then probs went to sleep.

33: what's your fave pastry? Uh choux just cause I can remember that is one. Hahahaha.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had one called Baxter Bear which was the best, he was quite obviously a bear with a red scarf and his own passport. I threw up on him in the car and he was never the same again, he disappeared short after. Don’t ask about Scrubs the dog.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do, I just don't use them often.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? The xx

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? A healthy middle.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! Couldn’t possibly. There’s a fair few.

39: what color do you wear the most? Probably black? Emo ik.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I own a necklace I got for my 16th its very cute and only comes out when I have heterosexual days to masquerade it. It’s nice.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde, it’s my favourite ever. I don’t read as much as I used to, sigh.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! There’s a cute local one. They do unreal Nutella pancakes and its quite central and very aesthetic-y. Yum!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My gal, typically on the way to my car where I point out Orion or The Dipper. It’d be nice to do it properly sometime.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Two days ago.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? When I need to.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Someone mentions a dog, then I normally incorporate the word ‘ruff’ as a homophone for ‘rough’ and get death stares. But I like it.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Gherkins.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Abandonment/loneliness hahahah yes it is.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I do like buying records yeah! I can’t say until April the 23rd but I’ll have bought another by then.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? I don’t think I do have anything odd!

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Uncomfortable by Wallows, as well as Fast Food by D.I.D and many many more.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? The new Patrick one is doing pretty good.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Nope, nope, nope and nope!

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog. I didn't walk him.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Hahahah you wouldn’t want to know. 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Feeling secure with them, if you get me.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? CAN YOU DO THE FANDANGO!?!?!

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? K is probs the wine mom bc I'd say A but she’s not as sensible, thus A gets the Aunt role.

59: what's your favorite myth? Bulls hate red, they’re actually colour blind lmao.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don’t mind a bit of poetry! Marking Time by Owen Sheers is noice.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Me and mum put a fancy brooch in a pack of digestives for someone. I’ve received stupid spellings of my name on the birthday cards.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Rainbow order woop.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yep!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Cutesy and white and blue and stuff idk. But I wouldn't wear one haha.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Serene! Albeit Silent Hill-esque

68: what's winter like where you live? Fun! Cold! Disruptive!

69: what are your favorite board games? The Game of Life/Monopoly/Articulate!

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope!

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? English Breakfast, brewed by the girlfriend.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? I've been known to be.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Overthinking. Nail biting.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Ginger.

75: tell us about your pets! A doggo! A beagle! and a fish...

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Revising!

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Yellow

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? anyone in the fanclub needs natural selection to do its thing.

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Surprised me at work with flowers.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? White, because I’d like grey but we haven’t got there yet or painted the house since its still pretty new.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. I don't have the time for that shit.

82: are/were you good in school? I was! I still think I am! Who knows.

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Smithsmithsmithsmithsmiths

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Yeah! Quite a few. All tonal, but above all a Venus sign and more importantly the great wave off Kanazawa by Hokusai

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I don't fun fact I used to read them start to feel sick.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I feel stupid for not knowing what they are.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Donnie Darko.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Not Gothic. Can’t go wrong with a bit of impressionism.

89: are you close to your parents? I think. Depends on the time of day.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Starts with E, ends in Dinburgh.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Nowhere abroad really, just a couple of good cities.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Barely sprinkles, but I have a drowner with me to compensate.

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Down. Full stop. 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My girlfriend’s. mum!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Work, a party, a Harry Potter film, a sad Sunday.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I leave them for as long as possible

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ENFJ/Pisces/Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Hah idk.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Nude - Radiohead is the one I’m thinking at the mo’ and I can’t think past that.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Future. Don’t need to lament on the past when I hope I have a good one ahead of me. Then from there I'd click 5 back so I’m right back to where I am, cheers.

[simplicitwannaone-blog]

??? tag + alphabet tag

@huynbin tagged me in both of these, so i combined them into one! 

GENDER: female TIME:  12:44 pm BIRTHDAY: march 30 FAVORITE BANDS: wanna one, bts, the boyz (even though they haven’t debuted yet), nct, b.a.p, blackpink, jbj, vixx FAVORITE SOLO ARTISTS: sewoon, dean, hyuna, ailee SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: none right now LAST MOVIE WATCHED: made in dagenham for a school task LAST SHOW WATCHED: the boyz flower shop ep. 7 WHAT DO I POST: mainly wanna one, but i reblog content about other artists as well LAST THING I GOOGLED: how long is the attention span of a hamster DO YOU HAVE OTHER BLOGS: i used to have multiple writing blogs, but i got rid of them to ‘start on a clean slate’ DO YOU GET ASKS: not really lmaO i rarely use this blog to communicate to other people WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR URL: i,,,,,,,,,,,don’t know FOLLOWING: 179 FOLLOWERS: again,,,,,definitely more than 2 FAVORITE COLORS: i like most pastel colours, but pastel green is arguable a favourite LUCKY NUMBER: 3 INSTRUMENTS: piano, i learnt the guitar and flute for a short while as well WHAT AM I WEARING: a large denim shirt and black shorts FAVORITE FOOD: ,,,,i like fries NATIONALITY: australian (but i was born in china) FAVORITE SONG RIGHT NOW: pied piper by bts

A: Age | turning 18 in a couple of months

B: Birthplace | beijing, china

C: Current time | 1:00 pm

D: Drink you had last | some sort of buckwheat tea

E: Easiest person to talk to | two close friends i have at school, a friend in china, and this bby @princess-megz​

F: Favourite song | pied piper by bts

G: Grossest memory | this one time in primary school our class went to a zoo and a tree frog jumped on me and i think i developed a legitimate phobia of frogs bc of that. to make it worse the zookeeper that was holding the frog was like to me ‘don’t scream too loud you’ll hurt its eardrums’. what kind of priorities

H: Hogwarts house | ravenclaw

I: In love? | nope

J: Jealous of people | not really? i’m pretty happy rn

K: Killed someone | i sometimes have thoughts of how easy it is to kill people? (e.g. push them down the stairs when they’re in front of u) but nope i haven’t

L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again? | lmao wut; i still don’t understand how u can just look at someone and just think ‘yep they’re the one’

M: Middle name | don’t have one

N: Number of siblings | i wiSH i had an older brother, but sadly i’m a very lonely only child

O: One wish | i kind of want to get the highest uni entrance score in my year level so i can roast the shit out of my train wreck of a school in my speech

P: Person you called last | my dad to ask him to pick me up from the train station

Q: Question you are always asked | 'when does this period end’ bc same

R: Reason to smile or cry| dogs; as well as the fact that seonho went to comfort minhyun in ep. 11 of broduce even though he was eliminated stoP MY HEART

S: Song you sang last | sewoon’s slower than ever

T: Time you woke up | 11:30 am

U: Underwear colour | ,,,,,,peach???

V: Vacation destination | i don’t actually like vacations that much lmaO and even if i am to go on one i probably wouldn’t go to a very popular destination

W: Worst habit | i pick at the skin of my lips a lot so they almost always hurt 

X: X-rays | this one time i jammed my thumb in the door really hard and thought it was broken

Y: Your favourite food | i like fries

Z: Zodiac sign | aries

tagging: @mostlyjbj , @ongseongu , @heochannies, @deepdickdaniel

do these if you want to!!

[defendinggalahd-blog]

So. I guess I hit 200 today.

“A hero is only as great as the men who stand behind him.”

Wow. 200 followers already. Who would’ve thought? I’ve had this blog maybe a little over a month, and it’s definitely been the most loving and accepting community I’ve ever been apart of. 

You’ll have to forgive the terrible graphic. Edits definitely aren’t my thing. (Also, the fond was called ‘Making a Hero’. I had to.) 

There are so many wonderful people I’ve had the chance to talk to, so this is going to be long as shit and really, really gay. Strap in folks. 

ALSO. I tried to be cool and do this whole thing in smalltext and bigtext but I fucked it up and after spending an hour on fixing the formatting to be readable again I decided to give up and post it as-is. So sorry about this thing being such a disaster. It’s just like me. Edit: Tumblr was dumb and didn’t tag half the people in here probably. Tried to fix that. If you get a double notification, I’m sorry!!

The Big Three™

@captaindrautos (Also infernalian and oldfrxend): It’s like Tumblr knew. You’re the first person to come up when I type the ‘@’ symbol. Anyway. Cera. Sharky. Where do I even begin? You’re the actual best. The first person who really played with Nyx (even though it’s been over a month since I replied to that thread, oops) the one who listened and didn’t judge me too harshly as I built Nyx’s Traitor!AU. The day after we met I almost got hit by a car because I was too excited to talk to you. I’m terrified of cars. 

My Nyx wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Hell, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Somehow, you’ve evolved into one of my favourite people over this past month or so, and despite it not being long, it’s hard to think that I ever didn’t have such a wonderful person in my life. My darling. Moon of my life. I owe you lots more than one lousy Domino’s pizza. 

@pxlsatiio (Also reaprise, securiis, regaliities, arraaxis, xghiranze, pkhara, and lxzarus) : Jess. My twin. My sunshine. You have been my best friend during this weird, emotional month of ours. To think we were once both so insecure about our characters interacting (You opened up to me once, but I always felt weird saying it in return. So I’m saying it.) 

When we first started talking, I was terrified. You were like... this big-name roleplayer. Everyone who seemed like they stood out in the FFXV community interacted with you and your muses and I was a lone new blog in this sea of sharks. (No offense, Cera.) But after a few awkward times of me embarrassing myself (and I still do, I seem to be king of Saying the Wrong Thing™), I somehow managed to be part of this wonderful group of people and I don’t want to think about having to go through anything without you by my side, and likewise. I’m glad I can be here for you, too, even if I’m absolutely shit with words. 

Also. Please forgive me if I forgot a blog. I’m an old man, and I’m trying my best.

@hardcormarshal​ (Also kingsglaivefuriaroad): Cait. C A I T. Cait. I love you, girl. Even though we talk a bit less, (Which is entirely my fault, and I will fall to my knees and apologise until my dying day,) you’re the one that’s helped me develop Nyx the most. You’re far more critical to my ideas, asking questions and even debating with me in mutual confusion over what the heck was wrong with the FFXV timeline. I’m still not sure if we ever figured it out.  We started rp’ing together because of Big Daddy Junior and Little Kitten Boy (a thread that I owe on too. Gods, I suck,) and it’s evolved to probably the most loving and healthy relationship my Nyx has. (Which is saying something, because I haven’t forgotten that time Nyx freaked and tried and tried to kill Cor.) I can’t wait for their happy ending in Galahd. If I ever reply. We need to start talking more OOC too, my dude. You’re awesome, and I just don’t appreciate you nearly as much as I’d like to. 

The Babes:

@oracleofthegods​: Liz. My Lady. My beautiful, lovely lady. I adore you. I still don’t know how you put up with me curled up on your thigh for half of Anime Oasis but you did with a smile on your face and I owe you the world. We need Luna and Nyx to interact much, much more. You have my Discord now, so abuse it as much as you’d like ;)

@arachnette​: We haven’t talked with our muses because someone has been ass-deep in P5 hell (I forgive you though, because I am too.) But since you’re my rl Prom, 9S, Akira... and probably several others I can’t think of off the top of my head, I would feel wrong if I didn’t mention how much I love you in this too.

@regalchocobo​: You goddamned sweetheart. You know exactly how much I adore you and I blame you for at least half of the Prompto hell I am in. (And boy, am I in deep.) Between Nyx and Loqi, you sure take care of my boys. I hope I take care of you just as well.

@thekingsshield​ We haven’t talked near as much, but every time we do, it makes my day. Nyx sexting is still a great reason to laugh whenever I’m feeling down, and I can’t wait to play in our new Vigilante!AU~ We definitely need to talk more!!

@lioncuboflucis​ A total sweetheart who helps me keep this blog on track. You sure help keep me inspired to update regularly, and our conversations about Nyx and Noctis are too sweet I can’t help but fall even more in love with what’s already my OTP. Außerdem bist du ein Schatz? Und entzückend? Ich gebe mein Bestes.

@narcolepticprince​ & @versesdelinquent​ You two make my day. Our chat is legitimately nothing but dicking around, but I love it. And I’m pretty sure Nyx needs some fun smutty times with the both of you >:3c

@massadamnata​ (also beeeans and heterochromiairiidum)You were the first person to reblog my promo when I made my blog and actually helped me get this thing rolling. I didn’t forget. We really need to interact more because from the amount I’ve stalked you by now I love your damn muses too much to not.

Here’s that giant list of people I’ve interacted with at one point and love, (meaning yes you need to bug me more ooc and ic bc I love you):

@lightwithinthenightsky @littlestreetrxt @glaivegirl @treddlightly @kidsofthekelvinhero @insomniasprince @iustitaex @hyperionknight​ @violentremnant​ @noctiisms​ @irisiae​ @floweringeclipse​ @croweoftheglaive​ @heartxandxhome​ @son-of-regis​ @sumsatis​ @badassbarmaid​ @waywardregalis​ @rexcrystallis​

Here’s the list of people that I haven’t talked to (Or have and don’t remember because again, I’m old,) and WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING:

@luxarcum​ @trashkingizunia​ @leorugiet​ @sxrtis​ @shieldoftheprince​ @littlexsisterxulric​ @oraclechosen​ @pelnaxkhara​ @meldaciomartyr​ @theplagueofstars​ @croweisms​ @outofmychair​ @pridevowed​ @croawe​ @technochocobro​ @kxngsshield​ @enviousking​ @vigilanc​ @adventurouswind​ @chocobowa​ @lunaeoraculum​ @ebonyforthestrategist​ @clipeumregia​

I’m sure I’ve forgotten several blogs and if I left you out, I am SO sorry. It’s also midnight and I have to be up at 6 am tomorrow. I love each and every one of you who follows me and would love to both play with you more, and get to know you OOC. You can find me here:

Discord: Loqito Taquito#5943 (subject to change, ask me if it doesn’t work

Skype: Damonwho221b

Twitter: @ transprincenoct

[only-the-gentle-survived]

i'm actually tearing up at the thought of this being the last summary of jac/jas scenes i'll ever post... they mean so much to me and i'll never ever stop loving them or talking about them, but i feel numb that there'll never be any more scenes to talk about. so here goes. as heartbreaking/devastating/every other sad adjective in the english language as jasmine's death was (which, btw, i genuinely think it was the most traumatic i've ever had to watch), I'm unbelievably grateful for the sister scenes we got tonight and for the fact that jac and jasmine were together in the end. (also, rosie and lucy were beyond phenomenal tonight but i think I'll make a separate post on that later) firstly, the earlier scenes. it seems pointless to talk about them now, but i want to remember them for how they were and how much i loved them. their relationship will always be so special to me, and jas dying doesn't change that. if anything it makes me cling to them even harder. the way jas's little face shattered when fran suggested it was jac who made the complaint hurt my heart, as did her retort that she wasn't naive enough to expect jac to love her (especially given what happened later). jac lashing out and telling her she didn't care was awful, if those had been the last words jasmine heard from her i honestly would've lost it but thank god they weren't. jac joining in with the last line of the song made me actually sob, i wasn't expecting that at all!!!!!! it really reinforced that there's no getting away from the fact that they're sisters, especially because jac let herself feel that connection and didn't just push it away what's always been so frustrating about jac and jasmine is that they know each other SO well, better than they know themselves. jac knows how to push jasmine's buttons, knows her weakness is her often desperate need to be accepted and loved and that's why she uses it against her when she feels threatened, just like she did then. and jas? she knows jac is scarred from her past, she knows that most of the time it's all bravado, she knows why she's like that. i thought it was so moving how jac kept trying to convince her she was just cold-hearted naturally and jas refused to accept it - even when the anger is directed at her, she still sees the best in jac and wishes she could make her see it too. also, jasmine seemed so casual leaving the voicemails ("it's me, we need to talk") and it made me so happy??? i feel like that must've been a more regular thing than we know, it at least hints at more contact outside of the episodes than we know of what I wasn't expecting at all were the scenes afterwards, with jac protecting jasmine yet again. i was so sure their last interaction would be the argument and i'm forever grateful we got the next few scenes. jac calling bernie to ask her to keep an eye out made me so happy, she wasn't even trying to make a secret out of it and didn't care at that point who knew she was trying to protect jas. considering only a few months ago jac was outwardly ignoring her and doing her protecting in secret, it really showed how far they've come. and you could see how thrilled jasmine was to hear that jac was so concerned she'd gone to bernie, I'm so pleased she found out and knew her big sis was looking out for her the line about jac being "a lioness when she wants to be" was beautiful, especially with jas's "so can i" - the two of them were so fiercely protective of each other, just like sisters should be, and it was everything also let's talk about the jac/damon conversation about jasmine bc every second of it was glorious!!!! the casualness of "that's what your sister said." / "you know jasmine?" it literally sounds like something normal siblings would say. plus jac didn't correct him to half-sister for the first time ever and I don't think i'll ever stop crying "I see the resemblance now. You got the cheekbones, she got the smile" this line legitimately made me scream, quite possibly my favourite description of all time. this is forever how i'll think of them now and i love it and i obviously can't not talk about those finals scenes... like I said, no matter how horrendous it was, i am so damn relieved they ended on good terms. it was more painful because of it, but i never would've gotten over it if not. jasmine died holding her sister's hand, finally knowing she loved and cared for her, which is all she'd ever wanted. and jac, although she failed to save her (which she'll never forgive herself for), must know on some level that her being there meant the world to jas and can at least take comfort in knowing that jas knew she really did love her. of course, it doesn't make what happened any easier. in fact, it makes it a million times more painful BUT i would've never forgiven the show for ending them on bad terms, and jac would've never forgiven herself either if jas had died all alone thinking she hated her. (this was not meant to be this long but it turns out I had a wave of feelings and this all came flooding out. feel free to ignore but i just wanted to get this off my chest)

[flowerforaheart]

i got tagged to answer these 92 questions by @ciaoloueh, @soulmatesandfate, @teamnouis, @justlookatthehearteyes, @pinkislouder and @istealifly. thank you friends mqldskfj <3

Rules: Once you are tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST 1. Drink: coffee

2. Phone call: my mum. i don’t remember when that was, i don’t call a lot

3. Text message: saying goodnight to Leonie

4. Song you listened to: Formation by Beyoncé. i’ve been really into lemonade again lately

5. Time you cried: last night at the end of the fellowship of the ring

HAVE YOU EVER... 6. Dated someone twice: the question could be ‘dated someone once’ and the answer would still be no rip

7. Been cheated on: no

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: also no

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: i don’t think so

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: lol yeah but that was more bc my stomach was too full or bc it can’t handle booze mixed with greasy things

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLOURS 12. old pink

13. the blue of the sky on a clear day

14. the inside of a dark cherry

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. Made new friends: i have

16. Fallen out of love: nope

17. Laughed until you cried: qmldjf yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, but not necessarily in a bad way

19. Met someone who changed you: more like.... influenced me in a positive way

20. Found out who your true friends were: i feel like i kinda knew that already, but it’s nice to realise that some people are really actually going to stick around

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: the majority of them, i guess

23. Do you have any pets: well we STILL have like four fish who refuse to die. if anyone wants any fish, you know where to find me

24. Do you want to change your name: hell no

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i took the ferry to Zanzibar. yeah. we also went out for indian

26. What time did you wake up: like 8:45 and then again at 10:30

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching the fellowship of the ring

28. Name something you cannot wait for: for my results to go online later today so i finally know how i did and also for seeing leonie. tomorrow. wtf

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: before she went out for dinner last night

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i’d like to have a group of close friends i could go to festivals with and go skiing with. *shrugs*

31. What are you listening to right now: the rain 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yup

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: rn? the fact that my results only go online at 5:30 in the afternoon. just give them to me already

34. Most visited website: tumblr

35. Elementary: well....

36. High school: i always had one or two close friends so it was ok

37. College/university: no matter how much i whine about the workload, going to uni has changed me for the better

38. Hair colour: blonde with like a few natural highlights mqsdfj

39. Long or short hair: mine’s long-ish

40. Do you have a crush on someone: i might

41. What do you like about yourself: that i’m hardworking when it comes to school

42. Piercings: i’ve only gotten my ears pierced

43. Blood type: it’s A but i can literally never remember if it’s + or -. pretty sure it’s + but don’t take my word for it

44. Nickname: make any variation of my name and there’s probably someone who calls me that

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac sign: libra

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: home and away even though the amount of drama passed the level of realistic approximately twenty years ago, Orphan Black, Spartacus, Sense8

49. Tattoos: none yet

50. Right or left hand: LEFT

FIRST 51. Surgery: when i broke my wrist by falling of a bouncy castle and they had to put a metal pin in it to make it right. my second surgery was when they had to take it out haha

52. Piercing: my ears

53. (why is there no 53)

54. Sport: gymnastics for preschoolers

55. Vacation: probably spain when i was ten months, unless my parents took me somewhere before that and i don’t know about it

56. Pair of trainers: i don’t know but i bet they were very fashionable

57. Eating: nothing

58. Drinking: nothing, but i’ve got some water here

59. I’m about to: have lunch when this is done and then try to write some more

60. Listening to: still the rain

61. Waiting for: idk, this to end so i can go make some lunch? mqlsdkf 92 questions is a lot ok

62. Want: good results

63. Get married: that’d be nice

64. Career: if i could actually make a career in linguistics that’d be really cool but i’m not holding my breath. i have a tendency of sabotaging myself somehow

YOUR TYPE... 65. Hugs or kisses: well i’ve got way more experience with hugs so let me say hugs for now

66. Lips or eyes: i’m someone who looks at lips before looking at eyes. that doesn’t mean i prefer them, but yeah

67. Shorter or taller: taller please

68. Older or younger: doesn’t really matter i think

69. (again, why is there no 69)

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice stomach?

71. Sensitive or loud: loud is nice, we need to be able to be crazy together. but some sensitivity too please

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: a good mix of both? ....if that’s possible idk

HAVE YOU EVER... 74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: only sunglasses

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of

80. Had your heart broken: nope

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: not legitimately fallen in love, but i liked him yes. in the end i’m glad nothing came of it though

DO YOU BELIEVE IN... 84. Yourself: in some ways

85. Miracles: i’d like to

86. Love at first sight: no, but i do believe you can immediately click with someone

87. Santa Claus: he isn’t really a big thing around here

88. Kiss on the first date: yeah, why not

89. Angels: i can’t make myself actually believe they exist

OTHER... 90. Current best friend’s name: Flore. for anyone who didn’t know this yet, no i’m not talking about myself

91. Eye colour: who even knows tbh. i feel like they’re a greenish grey most of the time, but in some light they also look bluer so idk

92. Favorite movie: sorry to disappoint but i don’t really have one

ok so i’m tagging some people i haven’t seen this from yet. if you have, i apologise. @parseltonguekinq, @bropalboyfriends, @reinventlou, @iamnotbeingsarcastic, @ot4andchill, @fuckinghatekissingyou and @wereamanbandnow <3

[thirstyfortom]

Can you please write how story will turns out (after the party) if MC actually is a favourite daughter of the head of the most powerful criminal organization and even Saeran didn't know it, bc it was hidden very well? And her dad actually lost her for that 11 days. For RFA + Saeran +V. Hope, you'll like this idea. Love your writing!

I love requests like this, I’ve read them on other imagines blogs and it was so hard not to go the same way they did, so I tried to keep it soft. Like, her dad is very angry, but he can be very sarcastic and more passive aggressive than really violent and intimidating, and MC is the only one who’s not scared of him. And I think I just made this clear on Saeran one, but MC doesn’t have a mom here, which probably made her father even more concerned, since she’s the only one he has.

Hope you like it! ^^

TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of a panic attack on Saeran one

RFA + V and Saeran meeting MC’s criminal father

Zen                

Youtell him your gangsta boss dad wants to meet him

Hethinks is a joke at first, but when you two come to your father’s house and hesees the guns… boy

Hewas nervous just because he had to meet your father, now he’s pretty muchscared.

“Sweetie,is this your new bodyguard? If you wanted a pretty one, you should have askedme instead of looking for one on some stranger’s apartment. You roll your eyes.

“Oh,I’ve seen the news, isn’t that the guy accused of sexual harassment?” “Which healready proved being innocent, dad. Something that would never happen if youwent to trial. “

Zenis scared of seeing his delicate and sweet princess so feisty, but thinks yourinteraction with your father is kinda funny.

Notso funny when your father brings up everything he found about him. Schooldropout, former member of a biker’s gang and those promo pictures for“Promiscuous Jalapeno”…  your fatherdoesn’t even know what to think.

Butthe worst is the fact that you disappeared from his sight for 11 days and cameback with this guy… “Oh, she wasn’t with me for 11 days, sir. She’s been at myhouse for 2 nights, well, one and a half, technically…” ZEN, SHUT UP!

Bythat point you’re pretty much done with your dad’s passive aggressive threatsand Zen’s brutal honesty, so you snap: “Daddy, listen to me. I was staying atthis apartment for a couple of days, then he broke his leg and I went to hishouse to help him, but he kicked me out during night, which I must say… notcool, Zen! I got back to the apartment, which had a bomb on it, and then therewas this weird punk guy talking about taking me to paradise or whatever, andZen saved me, dad! I love him and I never felt safer like I feel around him!”

“You…saved her?” “Of course! She was left on her own at this apartment with a bomb!Can you believe it, sir?” and then the two of them started talking about yoursafety and… well, you were relieved they found something in common.

Inthe end, your father is very impressed about his fast healing and the fact thatthis isn’t his real name. “We work with fake names around here too.”

“Youlook very strong, son. If you ever consider changing careers, I might havesomething for you…” you refuse before Zen can say anything.

Yoosung

He’sso scared when you tell him your father wants to meet him

 Andyou didn’t even mention he is the head of the mafia

Whenyou do… poor thing, he keeps saying he’s fine, but you can see him shaking.

 Andall those guns on the dinner table aren’t helping at all…

“Hi,sir… I’m Yoosung Kim, I’m a vet student at Sky University, I’m 21 years old andthis isn’t my natural hair color!” What the fuck, Yoosung?

“Oh,Isee… sweetie, I thought you were bringing your boyfriend to dinner, who’s thatgirl?” “Very funny, dad.” He’s so terrified at the guns he doesn’t even hearthis comment.

“So,sweetie… long time no see, what you’ve been up too? I mean, besides going tostranger’s apartments and dating guys who could come across as your youngerbrother?” Now Yoosung listens, how mean…

“Nothingmuch, dad. I’ve been trying to get away from your overprotective care anddating a guy who hasn’t a criminal record, for a change. What about you?”Yoosung couldn’t believe the way you treat each other, if he ever talked withhis mother like that… well, he wouldn’t be here to tell the story.

Yourdad keeps throwing these shady comments during all dinner, and you know Yoosungdidn’t say anything yet because he’s trying to be respectful, not because he isa coward, so you let it out:

“Yoosung,don’t worry, I love you and I’m not going anywhere, no matter what my fathersays. And as for you, dad, I… do you really want to know what happened in those11 days? I’ll tell you! I was trapped with a bomb on his dead cousin’sapartment, may god rest her soul, and this guy  here did anything he could to find who led methere. See his eye? It’s MY fault! And it’s completely unfair to him to betreated like that when all he’s done to me is caring and loving me. So, please…just stop being this prick to the MAN I chose!”

“Whathappened to your eye, son?” “Oh, I… I was just gaining some time for my friendto run away, a guy… tortured me and…” “And you lived to tell? That guy was anamateur…” “Or maybe I’m stronger than you think, sir.” OH WOW!

Inthe end, your father really appreciates Yoosung’s devotion to you, sinceloyalty is something very important in his… business.

Healso likes how despite all that, he seems like a very innocent guy… oh, father!If he only knew the things you are gonna do with your boyfriend after seeinghim so confident like that…

Jaehee

Whenyou tell her your father wants to meet her, she seems fine?

Thenyou tell her about his… job, and she’s… not even impressed? Okay…

Itlooks more like you’ve never been here before, she… feels so calm…

“Hi,sweetie, you brought a friend for dinner?” “Girlfriend, daddy.”

“Oh…I see…” his tone is so monotone and cold, neither of you can tell what he’sthinking. Honestly, you can live with your father being a criminal, but hebeing a homophobic? That’s another story!

“Ishould have seen it coming, all these guys who work for me on this house everyday, and you never showed any interest on any of them.” “I like guys too,daddy, But the mafia thing, you know… is not really my type.”

“Well,sweetie, you should make up your mind before you hurt this poor woman…”“Bisexuality is a real thing, sir. And I won’t be hurt since I’m bisexual asyour daughter.” “Jaehee?” you look at her surprised, she’s not even looking athim and just calmly drinks her water.

“Okay,Ms. Kang. But should I be worried about you hurting my daughter, then? You seema little older than her, maybe a little more experienced, my daughter is aimmature naïve girl who disappeared from me for almost two weeks and came backthinking she’s bisexual… you are not using her, are you?” “Daddy, come on…”

“Youshould think higher of your own daughter, sir. She’s younger, but she’s smartand if you must know, she’s the one who’s been showing a lot more of knowledgein life helping me through my change of careers.” “Oh, really? Tell me moreabout that.”

And then she tells everything about leavingC  & R and opening her own business,and then she tells a little about her life, how was growing up at a house whereshe wasn’t wanted, graduating early in college and being a black belt in judo. sometimes I forget how baddass she is, Ilove her so much

Whenshe finishes, your dad is enchanted, and you fell in love with her all overagain.

 “Iapologize, Ms. Kang. You are a very amazing woman who does justice to anotheramazing woman. If you ever want some help with your business, I’ll be more thanglad to take down the competition…” “I would rather do that providing a goodservice, sir, but thanks…”

“Marryher, or I will…” your father whispers to you.

Jumin

Youtell him about dinner with your father.  He’s glad, he’s been longing to make yourrelationship official to both the families.

Whenyou tell him about  the mafia, he’s…curious. How come a sweet and innocent girl like you grew up at such a violentenvironment?

Hepromises he’ll try not to be judgmental, but as soon as he sees the henchmen inposition and the guns… he’s legitimately worried about you.

“Hello,how is your father?” “He’s fine, thank you for asking. Do you know each other?”“Well, his company has been a pain on my ass for a while now…” “It’s my companytoo, as it is very likely I’ll be the next CEO.” Jumin, shut up!

 “Isee… maybe we can do business pretty soon.” “Right now, I would rather focus ongetting to know my future father-in-law.” Uhh, Jumin, so smooth…

“Oh,so you’re the one who kept her trapped at your house for two days?” “I believeit was three days, sir.” WHAT THE FUCK, JUMIN? YOU’RE GONNA MENTION THE CAGETOO?

“Daddy,I was completely fine with him there. And I must say I felt way safer with himthan I ever felt here with all these… guns… and your… employees…” both of themen feel really flustered with your response.

“Now,sweetie, don’t be ungrateful. You might see me as overprotective, but I’malways concerned for your safety. And don’t let yourself be fooled. He lookslike a gentleman, but if he is anything like his father, you might be in trouble.”Oh boy…

“I’msure you mean well, sir. But I should warn you I’m nothing like my father. AndI must say I understand very well why would you be overprotective of such aadorable lady, but you should let her be free to make her own decisions. That’s…something I’m learning by myself as well…” both you and your father feel verythrilled right now.

“Well,I suppose she was safe with you after all, much better than being by herself atsome stranger’s apartment…”

Yourfather is very impressed about Jumin’s respect for you, he feels as reliable asany of his henchmen, and most importantly, you seem so happy… how can he fightagainst your happiness?

Dinneris over, and you accompany Jumin to his car where Driver Kim is waiting.“Jumin, be honest…” “Yes, MC?” “How many times you held yourself of answeringeverytime I said ‘daddy’?” “More than you would like to know, MC…”

Saeyoung

He’spretty nervous about meeting your father when you tell him.

Butwhen you tell him about his job, he’s surprisingly more relaxed?

Ohcome on, he’s been dealing with shady people his whole life! Why would he beworried?

“Ohsweetie, you brought a clown with you, when is your boyfriend coming?” Saeyounghas a comeback involving “coming”, you almost can read his mind and just glareat him, so he gives up.

“So…you must be the boy who got trapped with my daughter at some stranger’sapartment, then took her to this secret cult organization, huh?” “Yeah, and don’tforget the bomb!” Goddamit, Saeyoung!

“Well,if it makes you feel any better, daddy, he really tried to push me away, but Iwas very insistent.” “Push you away how, sweetie?” “The same things you used totell my mom…” oh, that explains a lot…

“Isee, so you were a jerk to her…” shit, you though it would be enough… it onlymade it worse!

“Yes,but if it is the same case here, I’m sure you were only thinking about yourwife’s safety…” “And yet she ended knocked up, are you trying to imply it’ll bethe case here?” SHIT SHIT SHIT!

Saeyoungsees his confidence fading away. This man is different, he’s not just somethug, he’s you father, the man who raised you. Why did he think he could beokay with all this? Your father is absolutely right about hating him, he putyou in big danger!

Yousee your boyfriend conscience splitting, it’s too much for you to handle, soyou vent: “Daddy, don’t be like that! Mom always told me how much you sufferedacting like that around her, he suffered the same way, daddy! Even worse,because the person who was after me it’s his own brother who he didn’t see fora long time and… daddy, if you only knew what kind of hell the two of them grewup….” You couldn’t help but cry, Saeyoung hugs you, he doesn’t even care yourfather is watching this.

“Tellme, son. I want to hear your story.” And then Saeyoung tells him everything,always holding your hand.

“Andyour father is the current prime minister? I never liked that guy, anyway. He’s always been a despicable little man!” that coming from the mafia’s head…

Saeran

He’sfreaking out about meeting your dad, because he doesn’t really feel comfortablearound, well… people

Thenyou tell him about your father’s job, and he thinks it’s kinda cute you tryingto joke to make him relax

Youtell him is not a joke, he doesn’t believe it because he did a whole backgroundcheck on you before deciding you should be the one to stay at Rika’s apartment,and there wasn’t no mention about this.

But,come to think of it, this kind of information shouldn’t be easy to find out,right? Oh shit…

But yourfather being a criminal doesn’t really bother him, he would be terrified abouthim even if your father were a geologistor whatever.

Theguns and the whole atmosphere on the house is very familiar to him… it remindshim of… oh no! He can’t go there on a moment like this!

“So…if this isn’t the one who kidnapped my daughter. Seriously, sweetie? StockholmSyndrome? I thought I taught you not to fall in love with criminals…”

“W-Well,sir, there’s also Lima Syndrome, when the kidnapper is the one in love…” oh no,Saeran… please keep quiet…

“Howromantic, huh?” your father scoffs, Saeran feels the air escaping from his lungs for a moment, no…no no! Stay calm, Saeran…

Dinneris being a disaster, your father keeps glaring and insulting Saeran on hisusual passive aggressive manner. You look at Saeran, you’ve seen him like thisbefore, he’s…

“He’shaving a panic attack!” you jump out of your chair and go to him, your fathernever seen you move so fast.  He observesyou helping this kid telling him to inhale and exhale like he learned intherapy… what’s going on?

“Thanksa lot, daddy!” “MC, calm down… I’m okay…” “No, Saeran, he has to listen! Dad,if you can live in peace with your own crimes, good for you, but not everybodyis capable of. You see this guy here? He tells me everyday how much he regretsthe things he did. I’m able to forgive the men I love, I did it with you, whywouldn’t I do for him?”

“You’re…in love with me?” “I already told you that, Saeran…” “Yeah, but if you’resaying in front of you father, you really mean it…” “Well, yeah, I meant beforetoo…”

Thenyour father realize this is just a very lost kid, like he used to be when wewas younger. Your mom passed away very young, so he always wondered if shewould be able to make him regret it and have a normal life. He’s so glad yourmother’s kindness lives through you and if you’re so willing to heal this guy,who is he to get on the way?

V

He’svery happy when you tell him your father wants to meet him.

Andhe doesn’t seem to mind your father’s job. “If he was able to raise such awonderful person like you, he’s not bad at all. Who am I to judge him, anyway?”This guy…

Andhe doesn’t even flinch when your father shower him with threats disguised asquestions. “Do you know what people like me do when their loved onesdisappear?” “Are you really that insane to show up here like nothing happened?”

 “Daddy,please stop…” “I’m just trying to understand what’s gotten into you, sweetie.This older blind guy and… you? I’m sorry to say, but I never knew you had somuch daddy issues…” “What are you even saying, dad?”

 “Withall due respect, sir, daddy issues most of times implies that the daughterseeks for his father features on men she falls in love with. For what I cantell, you and I are nothing alike.” Oh no… V being passive-aggressive gives youthe creeps more than all these henchmen…

“You’reright, I’ve never put her in dangerous on purpose. You, on the other hand,allowed her to stay at a place where I know it happens to have a bomb,correct?” “Yet, she claims she’s never felt safer, that says a lot about yourown household, no?”

Thispolite fight is driving you insane. How can they discus about you like if youwere not even there? “SHUT UP YOU BOTH! Dad, you have every right to be mad,but you should know this man here was doing his best to make sure that,whatever was happening, I wouldn’t be hurt, and he didn’t even know me thatwell… and V, please don’t talk to my father like that, he’s just as scared andworried as you were, and please, don’t ever talk about me or my life as if Icouldn’t speak for myself.”

“I’mso sorry, love, I had no idea I was acting like that!” he rushes to hug you andkeeps apologizing, your father wonders if this man is real…

“Sir,I sincerely apologize for my behavior. I know exactly how it feels wanting toprotect someone you cherish this much. Just know you raised an amazing womanwith the most beautiful soul and I deeply respect you for that.” Your fatherthought you were the one in danger? Now he feels sorry for this poor man havingto handle your temper… and nah, he can’t possibly be real, can he?

[writerproblem193]

Okay so here’s a long and probably rambling meta on Julian Bashir because I have a lot of opinions and emotions about the genetic engineering plotline and I want to sort them out

if any of you haven’t watched Star Trek: Deep Space Nine then you’ll have no idea what I’m talking about have a great day whoo

Specifically right now I want to ramble about what I feel over his (apparently controversial) “I was actually genetically engineered” plot line.

It’s been the major focus of two episodes so far — Doctor Bashir, I Presume where it was introduced, and a season six episode where he works with other genetically engineered people. I just watched that episode today, it’s the most recent one I’ve watched. After both those episodes, I had to pause watching for a while just to ruminate on the episode. I do love all of Deep Space Nine’s complicated complicatedness. 

Honestly, Julian is one of my favourite characters on the show. I’ve tried to describe why before, but it really hit me during an episode ostensibly about Jake Sisko — he was reporting on how Bashir was being a doctor in a war zone and he was having Problem. Anyway, Jake’s great, but there was a little cascade of moments with Julian in the episode that really hit me. 

the complete transition from goofy to professional with brushing Jake off when the casualties started coming in

and him sitting on the floor with the other medical personnel after everyone was stitched up and jokingly (and kinda not jokingly) asking Jake to carrying him to the replicator to get something to eat

Because before he’d been totally relatable with his general failure at life. He’s a total dork. His favourite pastime is like, dressing up in furs and reenacting weird history stuff with his best friend. But there’s something else about him, too. 

I described it later as “being able to stand on his own, but not having to”. 

That’s something that I very much want in my own life. The ability to not need the support from people around me (my mother is flaming hellpit of emotional abuse, that’s gonna be relevant later). When the casualties were flooding in, he knew exactly what he was doing. He was an expert. He didn’t have to rely on anyone. He knew what he was doing. 

But then, after, he sat in a pile on the floor with friends and was clearly metaphorically leaning on them too. And again, I wish I had that too. The network of support around me when I need it. That’s not a dig at any of my wonderful friends — I just wish there were more of them, and that they were physically all around me too. 

Anyway now that I’ve gotten incredibly personal, time for Doctor Bashir, I Presume?

I have to say that I knew that he was genetically engineered going in, and so I was able to wince at all the hints as it went along, instead of being confused. 

Julian had troubles with his parents. For a good reason, it turned out. He legitimately feels like they murdered him, replacing the (implied autistic/developmentally disabled) ‘Jules’ with the person he is now. And that’s a hell of a lot of baggage, alright? 

I was uncomfortably feeling with him all through the episode. Here’s a quick bullet list. 

when his parents came to see him in Sisko’s office and he had to hug them and make nice and he looked so awfully uncomfortable and Sisko didn’t notice at all and cheerily gave him some time off to have them around

the dinner they had together that was so awful and it was meant to be a little but since my mother is fucking horrible it was hitting way, way too many manipulation and icky buttons with me. The don’t-talk-about-it. The don’t-speak-to-us-like-that. The I’m-an-adult-why-won’t-you-treat-me-like-one. The way he was holding himself, with them in HIS home. The way they berated him for moving so far away from home so they can’t come see him

when he went out into the hall because he couldn’t stand talking to them anymore — out of his own space because they’re in there and he has nowhere else to go — and slid to the floor with his head in his hands. I’ve been there. Achingly, been there. 

And though I enjoyed the fun parts of the episode (the spliced interviews were amazing), near the end it started hitting wrong notes for me. Whatever, they had to keep him on the show I don’t care but

He hugged his parents. He agreed to visit and to keep in touch. He basically forgave them. And it infuriated me. So much of the episode was showing and implying the emotional (and you could probably argue physical with the whole ‘rewriting his genetic structure to the point where he feels like the child he was no longer exists’ thing) abuses that he endured at his parents. The whole episode, his interactions with his parents felt like a SciFi Scaled Up Metaphor™ interaction of me with my parents. 

The way they’ve ‘built’ me. How my mother takes responsibility for the fact that I write so much and so well because she read to me and instilled a love of reading and that gave me the tools to start writing. She believes that she was my ‘architect’, to put it in Julian’s words, and it is painful. Just like Julian. And that’s where I got angry with the episode, for dismissing what for me was a nuanced depiction of emotional abuse with a haha he forgives them everything is happy!

Most of the rest of what that episode dealt with in terms of his genetic engineering, I liked. I liked the way it built another level to him. I am all about this character in so many ways. 

(Also I appreciated O’Brien’s reaction being “hey! Play at your actual level! ….in the corner so it’s fair then asshole”. Because he just accepted it and made their interactions more genuine and agh)

Side note: my sibling is autistic, I probably have autism and/or ADHD, and I’ve been categorized as ‘Superior Gifted’ so everything else w/Bashir’s intelligence/outsider status thing also resonates with me. You know, because he wasn’t hitting literally every other button I had. 

My problems with the second episode was more about the writing and the actual show than it was my personal issues, though those are never gone lmao. 

It started off pretty cool, even if the ‘mutant’ characters were a little too mental illness coded for my taste. Everything can be done well — and for a while, it looked like they might have been going there!

Bashir had some awesome moments connecting to those other characters, and actually getting to be understood. He was able to bounce ideas back and forth with them in a way he was never able to do with anyone else (*cough* me and my sib *cough*) and generally got to know himself better and unwind. And that was cool. 

Something probably about halfway through really dinged all those little sensors in me though. Like his parents. Without warning, super subtly, the framing of the episode changed. Instead of the ‘mutants’ being super cool and #relatable and helpful, the narrative had stopped endorsing it and was showing them as hahah off the rails. 

Oh boy, did that bug me. Ohhhhh boy. 

And it was lumping Bashir in with them too. And even besides my immense problems with that (and even setting aside the gross ableism with all the mental illness coding), the way he was throwing in with them? Completely out of character. This is a guy who has-

Listen, if you’ve watched the show, you know. Bashir will 100% throw himself into danger against awful odds. He’s brave. His entire character development up to this point has been about that! What the fuck ds9!!!!! Why are you suddenly making him say ‘we should surrender to The Great Evil™ bc Stats Say So’. Besides all the icky ableism and reframing the narrative to make him look like he’s in too deep with the off the rails mutants, it’s literally nothing like him!

I am still really bitter about this, if you couldn’t tell. 

And then, the episode framing gets even shittier as all the mutants decide to commit treason. Except Julian, who has suddenly regained his senses, and is like “um. NO??????”

And here the narrative flips again. It’s showing off how Bashir is the exception to the genetic engineering rule, how he’s better than all these crazy people around him, that he’s Not Like That, he’s Better. And I’m just so furious because that’s so clearly how the narrative was positioning him, and it could have been done so much better. 

And then in the end, he stops them, is the Neurotypical Passing Hero™, and then just ushers them off to be somebody’s else’s problem again, basically. And doesn’t get that sweet, sweet feeling of belonging and understanding again. 

(I did like the one moment where he’s trying to explain the super science analysis reports to his friend and genuinely offers “I-I-I’d love to explain it to you if you didn’t understand it!” and O’Brien is so offended and thinks it’s because Julian thinks he’s stupid. I’ve done that a thousand times and it’s not because I think people are stupid — I just like knowledge and facts and sharing them so much I want to explain it over and over and make sure everyone is on the exact same page. It’s not that I think you’re stupid, it’s that I recently didn’t know this myself and want to share it! And I could see that in his tone and expression and this is why I love him.)

I’m still so furious at the way the episode kept flip-flopping on how it framed the mutants and Bashir’s actions and everything. Super manipulative. Super shitty. I know the show could have done better. I was extremely disappointed. 

So anyway. That’s what I think of Julian Bashir, in excruciating detail. I love the plotline, I wanna fight some of the details. tl;dr: I love him and this plot line on my own terms, in my own biased and revisionist interpretation, but the way the show treated some of it was disrespectful, ableist, and ignorant. I am glad to have had the experience of watching and thinking about it, though. Because now I can articulate some things that I experience with examples, and also I have a new life goal. To be able to stand on my own, but to be supported if I want it. 

[tainbocuailnge]

seems I’m physically incapable of thinking about fate extella without getting really mad about its wasted potential so here’s my Official Non Exhaustive List Of Ways To Fix The Damn Game

ok so story-wise first of all make each story route at LEAST two stages longer, and maybe throw a few more scenes between stages too. it might throw off the story-gameplay balance a bit but like, it’s a type-moon game and the sequel to extra who the hell would go in NOT expecting a shitton of words. in nero route put those extra stages at the start of the route to make the “conquering the moon” part longer and feel more like a legitimate hard effort before altera comes in and undoes it all in a day so that altera actually feels like a threat of incomprehensible scale. that extra time should then be used to establish team dynamics and basic worldbuilding more, and also make archimedes feel more like a legitimate ally by like, actually having him there as an ally for a significant amount of time and also maybe making him a bit less suspicious bc I was on to him like 5 minutes from his introduction. nero route doesn’t actually have to pay a lot of attention to nero yet because you get to spend a lot of time with her again in secret route so that time should be spent on showing how the rest of the team interacts instead. it’s also important that altera at this point is presented mostly as a mindless killing machine with nero making a few cracks in that facade that get explored later, I feel like they made her too soft too early.

tamamo route could use another stage of conquering the moon before altera drops in too but since you already know of altera’s existence at that point the early section can be shorter than in nero route. again the team dynamics should be more fleshed out and this is also a good time to contrast nero’s team of passionate people who mesh pretty well and genuinely like nero with tamamo’s team of far more reserved, calculating, and straight up evil people who hate each other’s guts and are almost all planning to backstab her. since you as player already know altera is A Thing at this point this should be played as “will altera even show up on time to fuck their shit up before they self destruct?” in tamamo route the part where altera is There should be longer than in nero route so that you get a better sense of who she is and that she’s Not What She Seems because that’s tamamo’s thing too, nero is there to contrast altera while tamamo parallels her. tamamo and altera are similar existences in how they’re natural enemies of humanity and tamamo’s desperate wish to keep living a happy life with hakuno despite that should be the setup for altera’s same wish in the route after it. tamamo’s team has a lot of “I don’t like you because we’re too similar” going on so that should be played up more especially in relation to altera too to really drive it in that there’s more to altera than initially seemed.

then altera route even more so than the previous two should really ramp the team dynamics the fuck up because everyone’s motives for siding with altera are so fucking vague and they interact maybe ONE time, which I guess is to give the idea that they’re hardly a team at all but that can be shown through them being incredibly hostile to each other too especially since they all want to help altera somehow but have very different ideas of how to go about that. it also wouldn't hurt to have nero and tamamo team up to fight altera in this route already (but not until nearly all their generals are already dead and they still can’t win) to set up for the secret route by showing it’s not impossible for them to team up they just did it way too late this time

then the SECRET route, again, fucking again, should have done SO much more with team dynamics. you can’t just throw the whole cast of a game advertised largely as a team thing together and not show us the fucking team dynamics, eggplant man. this is the route where you actually spend some quality time with nero again to make up for not really doing that in her route and there should be a few more tamamo scenes to balance it out too imo bc shit boi i love nero too but the favouritism is blatant and painful. then for the endgame make the velber core an actual fucking threat instead of whatever weak shit it was now that we are TOLD is very dangerous so that the saber venus transformation feels justified, and after that have archimedes pull some shit and fuse with it or whatever so that you can take control of titan altera and beat him to death with her bare fists because “determinism versus free will” is an ICONIC fate/series fistfight and it needs to be had. also for the ending have the freed from her ties to the umbral star altera be a fucking adult??? what the fuck was up with the child thing?????????? it seems cute at first but the longer I think about it the weirder it is and I get that the idea is that altera is “reborn” & now has the chance of a complete new life to live as a person instead of a tool of destruction but why the fuck couldn’t ADULT altera, the altera that we actually know and love and who deserves it far more than a child with her face, get that chance. we married her. we literally married altera the fucking bridal symbolism around her is insane why would you make her a child!! why!!!!!

overall the game should flesh out archimedes’ motives more because as it is now most of the details of his character are explained in extella material instead of the game proper (not even in his side story rip) so he comes across as pretty one-dimensional. above all it should be clear that he’s always hated humans for their irrationality and that his corruption by the umbral star isn’t a reason so much as an excuse for his actions

everyone’s side stories should be at least one stage longer too because 3 stages is basically fucking nothing especially in light of how little attention the side characters actually get in the main storyline. I really wouldn’t have minded that as much if they would just get proper side stories but they don’t. side stories would be THE place to go into team dynamics too but it just doesn’t fucking happen!! i know you’re good at writing lots of words nasu why didn’t you do it!!!! there should also be short myroom scenes with the side characters or at LEAST changing myroom lines with your bond level for them or something, you have a bond level that goes up to 30 and it just doesn’t fucking get used for anything except install skills and some scenes for the main girls.

the regalia was a very blatant bullshit button throughout the story, which you kind of NEED when you’re facing the literal embodiment of destruction, but its powers should’ve been explained more clearly and also used more subtly instead of having characters do crazy shit and then handwaving it with a “we used the regalia of course”

then for the GAMEPLAY hoboy. first of all there should’ve been way more maps. as it is now there’s what, five locations? not including bossfights. the game keeps telling me about how much the moon cell is expanding and how there’s whole new worlds being generated every day but it doesn’t show me that, it just shows me the same remixed 5 locations. there should’ve been more variation in stage objectives too because now every time it just comes down to “complete the regime matrix and then fight the boss” and it gets stale really fast, even with gimmicks like time limits or bloodfort andromeda it still all comes down to “conquer sectors then fight boss”. something like “defeat x number of servants” or even just “survive” in between those would’ve spiced things up. 

speaking of the expanding world the game really would’ve benefitted from some kind of central hub area where you can walk around and talk to your teammates and maybe some npcs so that you actually get the feeling of the moon cell being inhabited by more than just the cast of servants and hakuno, because the game keeps telling you that but never fucking shows it. it also would’ve made it really easy to make the story feel longer without even making it all that much longer just because you can spend some time walking around talking with people instead of being sent right into the next battle, as well as creating opportunities to give side characters some attention/characterisation/anything without causing them to distract from the main story.

the bossfights are underwhelming as hell. the white titan doesn’t feel like much of an unstoppable threat at all which could’ve very easily been solved with her just like. moving forward during your fight with her and part of the fight being that you actually have to get her attention in order to fight her because you’re just so insignificant to her. don’t even get me STARTED on the fight with velber because that shit was pathetic, the only way a weak ass final boss like that would be justified is if it wasn’t the actual final boss and was MEANT to give a feeling of “wait was that all?” but honestly even then it’d be bad because why would you waste saber venus on something like that. ideally you first have the fight as it is now, then there’s a second phase where archimedes pulls some shit and you have a REAL fight as saber venus, then archimedes goes super saiyan and titan altera comes in to punch him in the dick

god im so mad I’m honestly so fucking mad because i LOVE this game. I really love it. but it’s so bad and rushed when it COULD have been so great