#they are using them for final work on the belief that it doesnt matter

[master-gatherer]

So they used AI to make the credits for Secret Invasion

And it looks like ass

[scaredgirlsilly]

Show us the Homestuck! 👀

ok so i just wrote everything under the cut and its. Alot Of Words HDKAJFKSVJFKD its literally an entire story outline of the entire fan session. i would feel bad but 1. you asked for it 2. you are on anon so no ones even gonna get a notification for this and 3. its my blog and i get to be autistic about my own stories ::P

merp (and anyone else currently reading homestuck really) stop reading here until youve finished homestuck. i dont even know if it spoils anything for you merp but just in case

first things first there are some foundational beliefs and opinions that make my fan session what it is and i feel like i need to say them

the game is an analogy (or allegory or metaphor i never know what is the correct one) for real life. everyone tells you that there is a correct way to go through life but then everything goes to shit and youre off that path before you even had a chance to start. this works with homestuck insanely well and one of the main reasons i connect with it

there is no ideal sburb session. not only have we not seen one and i dont even know if there are any sburb games besides the ones we see and the dancester trolls, but if there actually is an ideal sburb session, it kinda goes in the face of it being an alagory for life and how it never goes how you expect it to go

i will add a bunch of stuff outside of what we see in homestuck and some of it may contradict what is stated in homestuck, especially when it comes to the rules of sburb. i dont think the exact rules of sburb matter as much as what sburb as a concept really is, which is a nigh-omnipotent and omnipresent force that makes kids go through trauma to give them a "character" arc. it is a story generator so that the next universe can have heroes, while weeding out those too weak to even get to the part where they make a new universe. this is fucked up and bad and kinda evil and i really wish homestuck focused more on how fucking crazy evil sburb was but it got caught up in a bunch of other shit so thats why i made this

also this is gonna be so fuckin long even if i try to summarize it as much as possible cause its pretty much the entire story of the fan session, but you are on anon so i dont care that im infodumping right now cause no ones gonna read this far

anyways. ONTO THE ACTUAL FANSESSION

it starts put in 2015, after a mysterious delay of the sburb launch back in 2009. after so long, it is finally coming out!!

we follow 6 kids, all around the age of 19 (they would have been 13 if sburb came out when it was originally supposed to back in 2009)

Anna (she/her), a no nonsense, kinda autistic tabletop wargamer. Think the vibes of kanaya but the convictions of vriska. if she believes she knows whats best, only god can stop her from doing it. very egalitarian, very "ends justify the means" but she isnt like. also kinda intense but she knows that so she knows to tone it down when the moment calls for it

Noah (he/they), an excitable and cripplingly bisexual graffiti artist, his friends mean the world to him and he would do anything for them. a bit of anarchist leanings, but he hasnt really delved into theory much cause hes got other stuff to worry about. extremely outgoing and could probably talk to anyone. Anna and Noah have been kinda flirty/close for a while now and it kinda makes the others sick

Drew (he/him), an adorable farm hand who looks up to those western lone wolf hero types in movies and tries to emulate that, but is too much of a pure soul to ever be mean, so he just kinda acts weird sometimes. Wears a lil cowboy hat and vest and talks and types in a weird southern accent. no one knows if its fake or not

Kate (she/they), a bubbly gymnist who loves talking a bit too much. shes really only doing all this cause her friends are begging her to (and something about the end of the world?? she doesnt really know milo can say some wild stuff sometimes :P )

speaking of, Milo (they/them), an audiophile who has stopped talking as much, kinda ever since the original beta got delayed. everyone else worries about them but they insist they are fine whenever pressed. has been begging everyone to get the game since it was announced, which has been the most hes talked in the group in a long while

and finally, Skye (she/her), a quiet girl who likes nature. usually lurks, but will join the group calls just to be quiet during them. also not as enthused about the game as the others but hey, its better than anything shes got goin on.

gonna try to speed up with the rest of this but you need to know about them cause its like mainly character driven

first act is them getting all the stuff ready, connecting to each other, normal act 1 highjinks. the main thing is when it gets to milo (who actually is last in the order to get revealed idk why i didnt right it like that. the order is anna, noah, kate, drew, skye, milo) where it shows milo in his house, before it fades away and reveals they are in a dream bubble wearing an heir of doom godhood. they are also 13, where everyone else is 19.

the first act culminates in a flash (no clue if i could actually do it but in my head its a dope ass flash set to Planet Telex by Radiohead) where everyone enteres the game at the same time. Milo, being in a dreambubble, asks kate to set up a second computer for them so they can actually play. She does, and milo jumps on the meteor heading for Kates house before it hits the portal, and when it ends up above kates house, they fly down, watch kate enter the game, and really quickly set up their connections, finish the loop, and enter the game just in time. the flash ends with shots of their lands which i have not figured out jdkskfhahf

act 2 is just sburb hijinks. they hang out, grow closer, talk alot cause yk its homestuck jfkshdk. the main developments are noah and anna growing even closer with a cute lil sparring match before ending by planning a date, skye and kate growing closer and skye getting a bit of a crush, and drew and milo grow closer (but not romantically cause milos 13) because milo is a fuckin ghost and has been isolating themself from the group and drew has taken note and pretty much been like "whatever your goin through, ill be there for you"

there are other scenes i just havent written them/thought them out yet

this all takes place over like a few weeks btw

then its one of the kids' birthdays!! they are all together for the first time in a little bit, and one of them (probably anna) asks what the deal with milo is. after some hesitation he tells them this

milo is from an alternate timeline where they all entered the game in 2009 and everyone died. turns out it was a doomed session. before milo dies, being the last kid alive, they go to talk to their denizen. the denizen tells them that they were not supposed to play the game. the main heroes of earth (i forgot what they were called i know they were called something like the alpha kids were the nobles but i forgot what the beta kids were called anyways its the beta kids) were supposed to be the only ones to play, and because so many people are playing the game, its messing with skaia and causing a ton of glitches to happen in the beta kids' game. but, like everyone else, milo has a choice. let this timeline fade, allowing skaia to focus solely on just the beta kids, but they will not be able to live in the dream bubbles. Or, create an offshoot timeline, leave the beta kids to die in their horribly glitched session, and have another chance as the main heroes of that timelines earth, knowing that success is still not a certainty. Milo, being a 13 y/o who misses their friends and doesnt give a fuck about a bunch of "heroes" chooses the second option. this causes the offshoot timeline where sburb is delayed, and milo has to sit in the dream bubbles until the game eventually releases. oh uh that also killed milo like to get them in a dream bubble their denizen just fuckin killed them like falling fuckin rock just instant death.

the others are horrified to hear that they all died and milo is the only one who survived (but didnt actually survive, they just can do alot more as a ghost cause they are an heir of doom) and it starts to set in the actual stakes of the game

anna pulls milo aside after the party (which has supremely fucked vibes after milos revelation) to ask them more about the game. after hearing milos story, it only invigorated her more to figure out exactly how to get them through the game. noah tags along cause hes bored and anna and noah havent left each others side in weeks.

milo is answering annas questions about the game to the best of their ability, but the topic of the alpha timeline pops up. noah asks further and milo obliges (same stuff we know, but they word it slightly wrong cause they dont know the full picture). milo days that the alpha timeline is, to their limited knowledge, the correct timeline that leads to a successful end of the game, and every other timeline is a dead timeline that skaia prunes to keep focused on the correct timeline. noah asks what they mean by "prunes" the other timelines, and milo says that everyone is killed in them. noah then asks why everyone died in milos session and if they are from one of those dead timelines, and if so, what happened to the correct timeline. milo says that the way anna explained it before she died in milos session (who was a time player in milos session but aspect is based on personality so she might not be anymore), was that some sessions dont have a correct timeline, so every timeline eventually gets pruned, and there isnt any way to fix it. noah gets frustrated, before getting up to leave, anna asking if they are ok, and noah saying hes fine he just needs some air. anna is worried, but continues to ask milo about the game

noah then sulks off and talks to himself about how fucked up that is, and kinda has a panic attack about what if they are in a doomed timeline now without even knowing. he then sets off to find out if they can escape a doomed timeline, and if not, if they can escape the game entirely.

also uhhhh i forgot to say this before but the prospit dreamers are noah, drew, and kate. and the derse dreamers are anna, milo, and skye

we then get a batch of a few standalone relationship moments, just some moments of them hanging out like before the party but this time their is a notable air of urgency to what they are doing. i havent really written them yet but noah and anna have a bit of an argument, because anna, while still agreeing that sburb is super fucked up, sees the fucked up stuff sburb does as motivation to get through the game as fast as possible, while noah sees it as reason to try and escape before they get killed for no reason with no way to stop it. this rift starts to spread to the others before it culminates in one last conversation between noah and anna

noah says that he is gonna leave. hes figured out a way that might work. turns out the universe is just a huge bubble that you can leave. anna laughs at that, asking if he really thinks that is gonna work. noah gets exasperated, saying he doesnt really know but he has to try. its better than sitting around and waiting to die. anna snaps back saying that that isnt what they are doing. they dont have any evidence to believe they are in a doomed timeline, and in fact noah leaving might be the action that dooms everyone. noah says that he has to leave, he says sorry, walks closer for one last embrace from anna, but she denies it and and says "if you are really going to do this, then im going to stop you. i hope you see the error of your ways before it comes to that" and she walks off

as this is happening, milo and drew find drews quest bed. drew says that noah has already talked to him about leaving and is telling milo. drew says he may leave, because all this pressure to do what sburb wants is kinda getting to him. milo goes quiet, before saying "i get it, but. please dont. i dont want what i did to be in vain". drew says that milo can join them!! but milo shakes his head, saying they have sacrificed too much already, before saying "well... heres your quest bed" and turning around before drew could see the tears in their eyes.

"h- how am i s'posed ro use this dang thing?" says drew

milo turns to drew with tears in his eyes, but a small playful smile creeps onto his face, before saying "you kill yourself on it. duh" and flying off

from another spot on the planet, various bugs are flying around, and in the distance a huge yellow beam erupts into the sky, showing a winged symbol in the air

The Knight of Hope has ascended

(they didnt have yellow text thats the best i got)

Noah to kate and skye, who are having a little picnic, but arent talking much as they were distracted by the beam in the sky (drew god tiering)

Noah breaks it down for them and asks them to go, and kate says that she will, but skye says she wont. she says that that is a huge decision to make without much proof, and she cant with good conscience leave anna behind. shes the space player, and she is needed to make the genesis frog. if she leaves, it really will be a dead timeline no matter what. noah says he understands, gives her a big hug, and starts to leave. Kate is crying as skye turns to her and apologizes. kate grabs her and kisses her, tears welling in both of their eyes, before saying that she wishs she could stay, and shes sorry for leaving, and if they find each other again, she will never leave her side. noah calls after kate, but she asks for just one more moment, and noah says of course before leaving to talk with drew and get his answer and milos answer

the people who are ready to leave are noah, drew, and kate

the people staying behind are anna, milo, and skye

i am not entirely happy with kate and drews motovations i feel its a little weak but also i havent even started writing it so fuck you

noah, now dead set on leaving, goes to meet with anna one final time. he tells her whos going with him, and that she can come with him too, because if she decides to leave, the others will probably join her. she says that that is exactly why she has to stay. someone has to do the work, and after half of the group leaves, shes the only one that can get any results. noah remarks on how distant shes acting, and she says that he can fix that by not leaving. he says he cant do that, and anna says "i knew you would say that" before pulling out her rapier and attacking

(sorry i forgot to do their weapons uhhhh the ones i know so far are drew who has a revolver, anna who has a rapier, and noah who has a firemans axe)

act 2 concludes with another flash, this time set to Mood Swings by Human People. They have a hard fight, mirroring their sparring match from early act 2, but this time anna isnt holding back. she slices noah up and gets him to a pretty bad spot before it cuts to drew. drew sees himself and a beat to shit noah pop out of nowhere with the tume turn tables, drew from the future gives current drew a copy of the turntables (specifically not to make a loop with them) and tells him to go save noah. drew shows up just in time to see anna about to make the killing blow on noah, and drew, tears welling in his eyes, says sorry and pulls out his revolver and shoots anna in the head. he then grabs noah, uses the turn tables to go back, and the flash fades as we see anna bleeding out on the floor, as milo and skye get to her right at the end of the flash

act 3 starts with drew taking noah to his quest bed, and lying him on there. noah then ascends

The Prince of Blood has ascended.

simultaneously, skye and milo brought anna to her quest bed, where she ascends as well.

The Thief of Mind has ascended.

Noah and drew go to meet up with kate at her quest bed, as she goes to god tier. she is the last of the people who are going to leave, and they need every advantage they can get

(something) of Breath has ascended.

(idk what class shed be hfkshdjd sorry)

They then get to the edge of the session, giving it one last look, before leaving.

ok so uhhhh the rest i have no clue jfkshdjs except for literally the last flash. like everything between now and the end (pretty much the entirety of act 3) i have no clue. but on annas side, she gets alot more controlling and aggressive, eventually stooping to using her thief of mind powers to mind control them (taking their mind) into doing what she wants. shit gets mad fucked up in there

i literally hsve no clue what noah and the gang do. there is a bit of a romance between drew and noah just cause i really want them to fuck nasty, but nothing serious comes of it and they are both chill with it. its kinda like a summer fling but they are traveling through the very edges of paradox space. probably like hiding from the horror terrors?? idk i have a theory that the horror terrors are all like players that have gonethrough the ultimate self shit, so maybe they go to talk to the horrorterrors and its like a physical manifestation of like a forum board?? idk that could be neat

noahs team and annas team still keep in contact somewhat, but not much. noah keeps trying to contact anna, but after she doesnt respond for a bit and noah keeps trying, she blocks him.

eventually noah and the gang figure out a way to be safe outside of the control of skaia and sburb, and he says that if the others want, noah and them can pretty much head back to get them. milo and skye agree because...

eventually, anna finds out that the session was doomed from the start and she is obviously devastated by the knews, cause that means that all of the bad shit she did, all of the friends shes lost, were all for nothing. act 3 ends on that and act 4 is just one last flash

the flash is set to Souk Eye by Gorillaz, and it starts with skye and milo grabbing a destraught anna who is just lying on the ground crying. they drag her to where noah said to meet up with them, and anna locks eyes with noah. at first she averts her gaze, but all she sees is the session, now in ruin as the war on skaia is raging on with the prospitans losing badly, and several of the planets overrun with various monsters. the session is in ruin. she looks back to meet noahs gaze, assuming she will see nothing but malice, but he just smiles and floats towards her.

drew flies into milo, giving them a huge bear hug and saying that he really missed them. kate tackles skye with kisses, joking about how he had to hear drew and noah fuck way more than she would have wanted for one life, and noah puts hid hand on annas cheek, before she kisses him like super hard like one of those kisses where they grab the others face and kiss them like its the last thing they will ever do, and they just sit like that. finally reunited, the session in ruins behind them, but they have each other, so its ok. anna breaks free of the kiss, and they all leave the session, and set off for a life beyond sburb.

the end.

uhhhh yeah idk if thats what you expected like a whole fuckin story HDKAKFLHA but. yeah thats what i had written for my fan session. im not gonna get into the themes and stuff cause ive already written so fucking much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but yeah. thats ir ^u^

[coveredinredpaint]

hi! my name is rex too and i think thats pretty cool

anyway, i was wondering if you had any tips on dressing feminine but like,,,, also being able to pass? or tips on being confident enough to not need to pass?

heyy that is pretty cool!!

im gonna be honest with you, i never really managed to pass before starting t. there were like 5 times ppl gendered me correctly but after that they immediatly "corrected" themselves. the only person who didnt was a toddler, i hope hes doing great.

all the tips and tricks ppl gave out never worked for me, never managed to figure out why, im thinking it was mostly my voice.

so i got absolutely no passing advice for you, but i can definitely tell you how to work on your confidence and say fuck you to societies ridiculous expectations

(it turned out longer than i distracted, i cant give concrete advice apparently my apologies)

tw: mention of bullying and some mental health stuff but nothing heavy

before i start i will say that it takes time. it takes time to learn and let go of this need to fit in. to learn to do your own thing even if you have to do it alone. to grow and learn who you want to be or are.

first we need to understand that expectations of how we should act or dress or look, whether based on our gender or not, are absolute bullshit. like straight up made up.

step one is kill the cop in your head. every time you judge yourself (or someone else) for something, ask why you care about that. most of the time its cause you have been taught in some way that what youre doing is not according to "the rules". this can be for the smallest things, like when i get really excited and stim about something i used to feel embarassed because "men dont act like that". sometimes i still feel that way. its not something you can just get rid of, so its important to actively affirm yourself that what youre doing is okay and that you are allowed to do what makes you happy.

dealing with yourself is already a hell of a challenge, but other people, that something else. i hope you live in an accepting area and i have heard many stories of people are queer fully accepted for it. but often thats sadly not yet the case. surely isnt for me at my school. there are people who are gonna make you feel like shit, who are gonna call you all the horrible things the voice in your brain calls you too. you are gonna wish you were "normal" sometimes, even if you dont really mean it.

going back to normal? going back in the closet? letting go of the clothes that make my feel better even on the most dysphoric days? fuck no, i finally started to get myself, my life back, im not sacrificing that for some teens whos names i dont even know. so you turn it around, no longer "why do they treat me like that" but "how dare they treat me like that" if they kick you while youre down you better bite their ankles and dont let go. most people who bully people who are "other" are terrified of what they see in us. we are living proof that their belief of how the world should work is very wrong. they call you a fag and a tranny? you better come to school next day in the gayest clothes you own. they call you an emo and bark at you? you better be dressed even more punk the next day. they may laugh at you, yell at you, even record you or push you around. it doesnt matter, they hold no power over who you are.

but please do not try and carry this alone. dont let yourself turn bitter. its is difficult to be treated like shit for simply existing. even when it doesnt hurt as much as it did its still exhausting. find someone to talk to, whether its a family member you trust, a friend, a mental health professional or other queer people online. its important not to suppress your feelings. get them out, by either talking about them or writing or making art or music.

know that its your life and you can live it however the hell you want. be kind to yourseld, be kind to others. if you are not where you want to be to right now you will in the future. cant really call it a life if you didnt live for it. it will get better, you just got to keep going and keep fighting.

[baizhuo]

You like zhongzhu? What are some baizhu and zhongli hcs that you have?

its so unfortunate cause i went into depth about some very SOLID points and im just T^T so this is my second attempt to publish some zhongzhu rot i suppose .... but yes anon , i do actually adore zhongzhu very much ! a very close & good friend of mine - you know who you are 💚 - & i developed some pretty SOLID & wholesome dynamics with the two that i think i will never get over tbqh . they just .... FIT . you know ? anyway i think about them all the time .

~ if baizhu is having a long/bad day at work , then surely zhongli will have one as well . naturally baizhu tries to help all of his clients , no matter the case , but there are things that even he cannot save others from . it does weigh heavy on him , & it will be enough to show for zhongli . its the INSTANT response from zhongli AFTER he asks baizhu how his day was .... the ' how was your day ? ' followed by the immediate ' i see , i'll prepare the family then '. baizhu doesn't have to even say it , zhongli will know . i suppose in that regard .... they do seem to bouce/play off of one another .

~ contrary to popular belief , pharmacy & the funeral parlour do work oddly well together . while baizhu tends to AVOID director hu , zhongli & baizhu have some sort of unspoken agreement with one another . zhongli will be in charge of whomever baizhu redirects clients to . again , baizhu will try everything in his power to help another , but even he understands the limits & will know when it is time to prepare funeral rites . granted , the pharmacy will never use the parlour as AN option - rather its just the FINAL option . its better to live harmoniously than to have tense relations . zhongli makes it easier for baizhu to approach the parlour without incident . nobody is taking anybody in terms of clientele .

~ we had this joke that baizhu is the weed ( dendo ) & zhongli is the concrete ( geo ) . basically its the stubborn weed growing in the cracks of the cement . baizhu is certainly stubborn but its also refreshing . whereas zhongli is rather a bit more stable/unchanging but allows for the elements of nature to form and grow around him . either way , i think baizhu's take on life is just ... refreshing & different compared to others . its challenges ( sometimes defies ) which is somehow ALLURING all at the same time .

~ baizhu had hypothesised that zhongli was the late archon , morax , but chose not to dwell nor press/investigate further about it . why ? it just seemed like he didn't care about zhongli's status . but its rather because he isn't somebody that looks up to the archons in that way . while others would have probably dropped over and begged zhongli for something that he may or may not be able to give all cause he is an archon , baizhu doesnt .... SEEK the archons for any kind of gifts like that . rather ... baizhu is just going to go out and look for it himself , not ask the archons for an easy way out . thats the main reason why baizhu didn't press . but also because it wasn't his business either . when zhongli DOES finally tell him its a mix of ' i see . ' & an ' okay and ? ' . not that baizhu is UNCARING , he just simply sees zhongli as ZHONGLI . ( i mentioned before that baizhu does seem to humanise others ) . he doesn't really care much for titles or what have you .

~ baizhu brings something new to the relationship while zhongli is able to keep roots . one is young , one is old ( hypothetically speaking ) . one finds new ways & change , the other welcomes the change while still being old fashioned . its a clash of ages / generations , but they mix so very well with one another .

~ baizhu has prepared himself IN the case that the inevitable DOES come & he passes because of zhongli . rather .... i think he is slightly more at peace if he were to die because he understands & knws that zhongli will carry on his legacy / memory in a way that he would like ( apart from changsheng ) . in other words , baizhus fear of death , while still there , is not as severe BECAUSE of zhongli .

thats all i can think of at the moment tbh ... & also because its all i have for time but !!! i hope this hold you over in regards to zhongzhu food . im always more than happy to share my other thoughts whenever they come forward . all one has to do is ask :3

[lilac-set]

I submitted a poll to a poll blog asking if people are rad inclus, curious how prevalent it is but i was planning on having my little ramble in the tags, but then the mod messaged me asking for a definition and getting to talk about it a little bit made me want to talk about it more, so here i am :3 this’ll be a discoursy one about (in favor of) radqueerness, and im also not willing to debate it, tw for discussion of transphobic talking points, feel free not to read if you dont want to but dni about the topic if you disagree

We’re rad inclus, thats common knowledge, but what bugs me is the definition talking about “good faith identities” and “bad faith identities”, i dont believe bad faith identities exist, im not really sure what it means. Someone suggested a bad faith identity could be like the transphobic attack helicopter meme, but thats not an identity, thats a joke. I dont support jokes at the expense of earnest identities, but in real life its not so easy to necessarily say “oh that isnt a genuine identity, thats just a joke, theyre doing it to mock us”, you cant know other people’s intentions for sure without asking them, and then what bugs me is that even if they do ask and they say no, this is genuine, they’ll still write it off as a joke and insist its harmful

I dont believe an identity can be harmful, theres no potential for someone’s self-concept to hurt someone else. The only argument that it can is “but it offends/disgusts/invalidates me!” Cool, those are your own feelings, not that person’s problem. Everyone has a right to live in whatever way feels the most fulfilling to them personally, even if no one else understands it, one person’s right to autonomy doesnt end until someone else’s starts. Someone identifying and living any particular way doesnt stop you from identifying and living any way you want to, if you dont want to be part of their life then politely excuse yourself, you have to no right to make them change for your comfort. “You cant transition into oppression” same thing. You cant harass someone into changing their identity. No matter how unfavorable the circumstances are for someone because of their identity, no matter how unfavorable you make them, you can only make someone miserable, you cant change them. Or even if you could, if someone’s identity is more malleable, you have no right to tell someone how to live, they arent materially harming you, “but it hurts my feelings!” Youre hurting their feelings, shut up, live your life and leave them alone. I primarily have transx in mind as im writing this, but it applies to everything

As for paras, cuz thats the other big point of contention i think, someone’s thoughts cant hurt you. What they do privately with other consenting adults or alone themselves as a consenting adult literally doesnt affect you in any way. I dont support harmful contact, we all know there are certain groups of people who cant meaningfully consent, but i dont think thats what the debate is on, this is about thoughtcrime. Transx is about thoughtcrime too. Thoughtcrime isnt real. No exceptions

I thought i was done but im not, i wanna talk about belief as well. We’re anti-science, we dont believe “science” does, will, can, or should have empirical evidence about all aspects of the experience of life, or that it should be the final arbiter (or any sort of factor at all) in determining if someone is valid. People are not attacking your beliefs by not conforming to them. You can believe whatever you want, and i can believe whatever i want, we dont have to threaten each other’s autonomy of belief by trying to convert each other. Can we discuss it and work together to find a right answer as long as both parties consent? Yeah, sure. But you dont need to try to change someone’s beliefs if they dont want to. You think their belief is a conspiracy theory? Cool, that doesnt affect you in any way, leave them alone about it. You think theyre going to hell? Doesnt affect you, leave them alone. Its a delusion? Guess what, leave them alone about it. Its ok if you value truth or science or religion above all else in your own life, but people have a right not to prioritize those things for themselves in theirs, and you dont have a right to try to make them conform

“But theyre spreading misinformation” You do not have the authority to enforce that whatever you believe is correct information and whatever anyone else believes thats contrary to that is misinformation. No one has that authority, no one should have that authority, people need to and have a right to curate their beliefs for themselves, not be expected to trust the government or anyone else and blindly accept whatever propaganda they might hear from a source they were told to trust

[missmeinyourbones]

levi anon here! congrats on the completion of the RED event! i am very proud of you and also good luck with all your school work, you got this :3

i wanted do quickly request random smutty levi hcs. it can be anything and feel free to do it whenever you can and want to do it, no rush !! im just missing my man <3

my sweetest levi anon <3 thank u for all of ur love. also a big thank u for checkin in and doing something as simple as telling me to not rush & take my time w this <3 so sweet and thoughtful, makes me so happy when u guys work w me and my writers block brain/schedule hehe so thank you ;3 here are a few smutty levi hcs for you

so i know the popular belief is that levi is a strict dom brat tamer type beat (which i do agree w to some extent) but i feel like he radiates switch energy ??? maybe like 65% dom 35% sub. he prob usually doms but if hes really comfortable w you i see him enjoying being a sub every so often

but yeah obviously a big ol' brat tamer. loves the power that comes w it, the authority of him being the only person you listen to, you obey. hes obsessed w that breaking moment where you finally stfu and listen to him when he tells you to behave or be good or i'll stop. loves watching your eyes soften when you realize that no matter how big of a brat you are, he's always going to win. he'll always end up having you underneath him, on your best behavior

THIGH MAN. omfg the biggest thigh man. obsessed w ur thighs in all ways possible. loves kissing/sucking them when hes going down on you, loves rutting against them when grinding on you, loves biting them groping them, he's literally thigh-obsessed

has to kiss you when he comes (during penetrative sex). like wont cum when hes fucking you unless his mouth is on yours. he'd never admit it, but its more intimate that way. he likes swallowing one another's moans, swapping fluids in two ways and not just one

pretty vanilla in the sense that he only has sex w you in the home. doesnt get off on other people hearing or seeing you, the thought of it makes him mad LMFAO hes protective and annoying. you talk him into fucking you in a dressing room one time and after he cums on your torso hes like ..... never again lmfao </3 he just wants you to himself on your shared bed

he's not super loud, a lot of grunts and sighs, but he needs you to be vocal. not one for stifling your moans in the slightest, they go right to his ego. a lot of dirty talk in order to encourage your volume like "what do you want me to do? use your words" or "right there, huh? cmon, you can be louder than that" its not necessarily praise but more of a loving & slightly mocking encouragement to egg you on

[plan-d-to-i]

This fandom's belief that jc will be ok having connection with any of the twin jades is funny to me bc he doesnt want to do anything with them even before meeting them due to the talks abt how good they are & he doesnt want to be compared to that. Those two, esp lwj, are skilled in cultivation like wwx & are on the same social class as jc. He already hates being compared to a son of a servant, what more to ppl of the same social standing?

Totally agree. This is what's interesting about the way jc's mind works. He can't empathize with anyone outside of himself. He's always measuring himself up against others.

Wei WuXian felt his collar tighten, and he was lifted into the air. He turned around to see Lan WangJi holding the back of his collar with one hand. Although Lan WangJi merely looked into another direction with an indifferent look, he and his sword carried the weight of three people, and fought with the mysterious force of the lake at the same time. Moreover, their position was still rising at a steady pace. Jiang Cheng was rather shocked, If I went down to pull Wei WuXian before him, using Sandu, I probably couldn’t have ascended so quickly and steadily. Lan WangJi is only around my age…”

WWX was in peril w the waterborne abyss and jc is having a moment about how powerful LWJ is compared to him. When WWX wants to invite LWJ to Lotus Pier jc doesn't want him there so he doesn't make him look bad and because he seems to resent WWX forming any bond with others. WWX on the other hand doesn't care. He's happy to find someone on this level. Someone who challenges him.

“Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

Wei WuXian, “I never knew you hated him so much?”

Jiang Cheng, “I’ve got nothing against Lan WangJi, but if he really came, my mom might have something to say, comparing me against someone else’s kid, and you wouldn’t have it nice either.”

Wei WuXian, “Don’t worry. There’s nothing to be scared of even if he comes. If he does come, you can tell Uncle Jiang to have him sleep with me.”

jc is the type of person who would rather dull the shine of those around him that strive to be better, or accept that outshining them is just not in the cards for him. He's again like his mother who's still comparing herself to Cangse Sanren. Carrying a grudge against a dead woman and hurting her orphaned son.

“Who could change the fact that your mom is worse than another’s? Worse it is, then.”

get help luv. jc is only ok with Wei Wuxian because WWX is locked in a position socially beneath his. This mindset of jc's is obvious in the way he speaks about Jin Guangyao:

“Wei WuXian, “Isn’t Jin GuangYao here now? Jin GuangYao seems so much better than him.”

Jiang Cheng finished wiping his sword. After he scrutinized it for a while, he finally put Sandu back into its sheath, “So what, if he’s better? No matter how much better he is, no matter how clever, he could only be a servant who greets the guests. That’s all there is to his life. He can’t compare with Jin ZiXuan.”

When WWX breaks away and to protect the Wens in the Burial Mounds jc turns viciously against him, throws his mother's words back in WWX's face. Stabs him in the gut to a degree where WWX has to stuff “his intestines back into himself” and declares him the enemy of the entire cultivation world. jc is not interested in a relationship based on equality. He also shares none of the world views the Lans believe in. Like not abusing power, or helping those who are weaker. The idea that LWJ or LXC would bother with him is just as laughable as all the other flights of fancy his stans call "meta".

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[raveneira]

Alright this extends from a twitter discussion, this is my counter argument to this post right here that they referenced, now this is my rebuttal.

You accepted that Ashura has reincarnated inside of you, instead of accepted that Ashura has reincarnated as you…. This makes me think that Ashura is just clinging to Naruto and isn’t actually him… Cause when people reincarnate they reincarnate as someone or something else, not inside of them, that’s more like a possession…

First off thats not how reincarnation works, several times in this post they make the argument that in order to be a true reincarnation that the two people have to be one and the same, this couldnt be further from the truth though.

Reincarnation, also known as rebirth or transmigration is the philosophical or religious belief that the non-physical essence of a living being begins a new life in a different physical form or body after biological death

In most beliefs involving reincarnation, the soul is seen as immortal and the only thing that becomes perishable is the body. Upon death, the soul becomes transmigrated into a new infant (or animal) to live again. The term transmigration means passing of soul from another body to another after-death.

THIS is how reincarnation works.

The body itself is not that of Ashura, but of Naruto, but Ashura’s SOUL is INSIDE Naruto’s body. They may have the same soul, but the new body functions largely as its own individual.

Take Inuyasha for example, Kagome is the reincarnation of Kikyo, she has no memories of Kikyo’s but she inherited her spiritual powers and affinity with a bow and also her love for Inuyasha. Kagome and Kikyo are separate individuals yes, but she still has Kikyo’s soul and her powers by extension. The same applies to Naruto, he and Ashura are different people yes, but he still has Ashura’s SOUL and as such his power, he also inherited his love for his brother Indra which was passed down to Hashirama for Madara, and then Naruto for Sasuke.

To clarify YES Kagome grew to love Inuyasha through her own experiences for her own reasoning, and Naruto grew to love Sasuke like a brother through his own experiences and for his own reasoning. But this was both DESTINED and FATED to happen because of who they were, or more specifically who they are inside. It was inevitable.

The individuals may be different, but as reincarnations they still inherited their past lives powers and bonds/feelings towards the person who was most precious to them before dying. In Kikyo’s case it was her strong love for Inuyasha passed on to Kagome, and in Ashura’s case it was his strong love for his brother Indra and desire to save him passed down to Naruto.

When Hashirama and Madara died, the transmigration cycle resumed. Naruto Uzumaki became the next inheritor of Asura's chakra and will, with Sasuke Uchiha inheriting Indra's chakra and will. 

This is from the Naruto wiki, but it is still an accurate description of what reincarnation is in Naruto, the transmigration of someones soul into another persons body, which is exactly what Hagoromo says happened with Naruto and Sasuke.

It’s important to note Naruto is the only one who refers to it as being haunted by a ghost and possession, Hagoromo specifically says in EVERY instance that Naruto and Sasuke are reincarnations and that Ashura and Indra have reincarnated inside them, so to use Naruto’s words here as evidence is inaccurate, because Hagoromo specifically says reincarnation, not possession. 

In Hagoromo’s own character file refers to it as the transmigration of souls walking through an eternity of samara, making the argument of possession null and void.

Saṃsāra is a Sanskrit word that means "world". It is also the concept of rebirth and "cyclicality of all life, matter, existence", a fundamental belief of most Indian religions. In short, it is the cycle of death and rebirth. Saṃsāra is sometimes referred to with terms or phrases such as transmigration, karmic cycle, reincarnation, and "cycle of aimless drifting, wandering or mundane existence"

You accepted that Ashura has reincarnated inside of you, instead of accepted that Ashura has reincarnated as you…. This makes me think that Ashura is just clinging to Naruto and isn’t actually him… Cause when people reincarnate they reincarnate as someone or something else, not inside of them, that’s more like a possession…

So this statement right here ^ is thoroughly debunked.

The definition of reincarnation and possession is vastly different with how they function and honestly disproves your own point of them being different people, because in order to be possessed you have to be CONTROLED by another entity which Naruto and Sasuke are not.

To possess is to take control over, if Indra and Ashura took control over them and have been in control their whole lives that means two twin brothers consciously developed romantic feelings for eachother by your logic, which is even worse than them just being reincarnations.

Possession is a term more accurate for Edo Tensei or Karma, not reincarnation.

So what am I getting at here? Reincarnation in Naruto doesnt mean being considered the same person as the deceased, it just means you have their soul, it DOES NOT MEAN Naruto is Ashura, he still has his own identity, but part of that identity is influenced by Ashura.

Hagoromo actually refers to it in several ways but they all essentially have the same meaning.

‘Ashura’s chakra is clinging about you’ 

‘Ashura’s presence inside you’ 

‘Ashura has reincarnated as you’ 

‘Ashura has reincarnated inside you’.

All different phrases, but carry the same meaning, Ashura’s soul reincarnated inside of Naruto, and Indra’s soul reincarnated inside Sasuke.

Your putting too much emphasis on the wording rather than the meaning.

 Ashura clearly influenced Naruto in many ways despite them being separate people, by having the same soul its only natural that Naruto would inherit many of Ashura’s traits. Hagoromo himself points out how much like Ashura he is.

So their not really that different after all. Ashura’s soul still had alot of influence on Naruto’s beliefs, personality, and ideals as well as his strong bond with Sasuke. Naruto may have reached those conclusions in his own way through his own experiences but the result remained the same as Ashura’s due to his influence from inside him.

However although their not the same person physically, I think its important to note they are the same person spiritually. They still have their own unique chakra signatures that can be distinguished by certain ocular jutsu’s, but they are still overall the same spiritually with the same soul and chakra.

Naruto Uzumaki became the next inheritor of Asura's chakra and will, with Sasuke Uchiha inheriting Indra's chakra and will.

Again this is from the wiki, but it still accurately depicts what happened. They are different people, but they still inherited Indra and Ashura’s will from having their souls inside them.

Dont misunderstand, Naruto and Sasuke still have their own wills too and not all of their decisions and feelings extend from Indra and Ashura, Im just saying that they had an INFLUENCE on them in several aspects of their lives, but they still formed their own bonds and relationships through their own life experiences. Zetsu even comments on how Naruto and Sasuke are cooperating closely together more than any other reincarnate before them, proving they are still their own person capable of doing things their own way.

The fact that Naruto was able to succeed where Hashirama and Ashura failed is also proof of their individuality, but that was also predestined to happen.

Ultimately, Naruto managed to succeed in Asura's final goal which all other reincarnations failed at: end the rift between the two lines of the reincarnated brothers. Naruto achieved this after defeating Sasuke, who then finally accepted Naruto's ideals.

Everything I said for Naruto applies to Sasuke so I dont really need to reiterate it.

Onto the next point.

My point is that Indra and Ashura clung to people of their bloodline that was a lot like them, in terms of personality or ambitions, and thereby were reincarnated… So Naruto and Sasuke aren’t brothers and instead are just possessed by brothers..

This is impossible, because Indra and Ashura didnt possess Naruto and Sasuke like I said, but reincarnated inside them not long after they were born once both previous reincarnates were dead, meaning Indra and Ashura had NO idea what Naruto and Sasuke’s personalities or ambitions would be later in life. Their not psychic, they cant see the future so this argument is invalid. 

They simply reincarnated inside Naruto and Sasuke because they were newborns and Hashirama was already dead, so all that was needed was for Madara to die which didnt happen till years later when Naruto and Sasuke were born. Once Sasuke was born Indra reincarnated into him, and when Naruto was born Ashura reincarnated into him. Naruto and Sasuke just happened to be born at the right time, there was nothing more to it than that.

So now that we’re done with the reincarnation counter argument, now for why NaruSasu is problematic because of it and yes, they are in fact brothers.

For starters going off what I said about reincarnation alone already makes things problematic, infact it is the MAIN reason its problematic. Just because Naruto and Sasuke arent literally Indra and Ashura doesnt change the fact that they have their SOULS, meaning they are literally SOUL brothers, do you really not see the problem with two guys who were TWIN brothers in their past lives to be romantically involved? come on now.

Here he says that he and Sasuke aren’t true brothers, which means that they’re not actually related despite being reincarnated from brothers.. Which again, to my knowledge, if you’re reincarnated from brothers you’d still be brothers… But he says that they’re not…

This is flawed on so many levels, as I’ve already explained how reincarnation works in both Naruto and Japanese beliefs they are SOUL brothers. If your soul was reincarnated into a new body, and your brother or sisters soul was reincarnated into another body, would you want your reincarnates in a romantic relationship with eachother? I know I wouldnt, because as shown in Naruto Indra and Ashura are still very much conscious inside them, which means they are AWARE of whats happening, they just dont have control over them.

Even if they WERENT conscious its irrelevant, because the core issue is that they are THERE and they are BROTHERS, this is not incest in a physical sense, but in a spiritual sense this is very much an incetuous ship as they share both body and soul, that is still VERY problematic because they are STILL brothers, not by blood, but by soul.

While Naruto does say that he sees Sasuke as a brother several times, it doesn’t seem like that at all… To me it seems more like a crush that he doesn’t realize he has, or a crush he isn’t ready to believe he has…

Thats all speculation and how you choose to perceive things, but there is beyond enough evidence that proves it wrong which I’ll go more in depth in another post I’ll link back to here. But honestly theres not only tons of evidence that proves it wrong, theres literally nothing anywhere in canon that suggests romantic feelings between them in the first place. Thats a fact not an opinion.

Want my more condensed version of why NaruSasu are brothers refer to my twitter thread here

But just to add one of my points here, which is the other biggest reason NaruSasu is problematic, is that they are ACTUAL brothers.

I know right? I just said their not Indra and Ashura and are their own person how are they brothers? simple, thats true only for the show, however theres one other key factor that makes any argument you try to pull from the show for WHY their not brothers null and void. Which is that they are brothers by DESIGN.

Unfortunately the link is no longer available but this persons summary is pretty much what Kishimoto said. And the one above it is an actual sceenshot from when the site was still up.

From the beginning they were modeled after two real life brothers, Kishimoto and his twin brother Seishi, that was always the INTENT when making Naruto and Sasuke’s bond, so regardless of if their brothers by blood, by soul, or by bond, they are brothers by design, theres not a single argument you can come up with that’ll change that.

So in conclusion, yes, Sasuke and Naruto are real brothers by design, so for some people to call it incest is not far from the truth, because to ship Naruto and Sasuke your essentially shipping Kishimoto and his Twin brother.

I didnt wanna make this too long, so I focused on just the reincarnation aspect as that was the main point of the argument, and saved the other stuff about their relationship for another post so there wouldnt have to be a ton of scrolling on one post. But honestly? I think this post sums it up pretty well on WHY shipping this is problematic, you dont HAVE to stop shipping it if you dont want to, Im just pointing out why saying they are not brothers is factually incorrect.

[rae-arts777]

I want to talk about my religious trauma

I just want to tell my story, I know mine is minor, I know there’s worst out there, but I’m hoping maybe mine cause reach out to anyone experiencing the same so they feel less alone

Let’s start way back

Edit: (sorry I should have put this earlier) TW: slight sexual assault, self harm, suicide mention

Growing up a christian adventist, I knew Friday night to Saturday was worship. No electronics or TV unless it was veggie tales, or a Bible cartoon, and church Saturday.

Of course I acted out a bit, and would get scolded for not staying still. My mother however wasn’t upset at me for ruining church, just upset I wasn’t behaving and granted don’t blame her cause I was a brat lol. I would get in more trouble if I went with my grandma. I was “disrespecting the lord in his house” and well...I mean it’s hard for a child to sit still for 8 hours wearing a dress and shoes that made me itchy and gave me blisters

Now church was fun in some sense. Got to see my friends, food after services, I loved being able to help in the kitchen and help the elders as well.

Good right?

Well...as a child, we think what we know if right. I thought the way we had church was common to everyone. When I started school, it was different for me. I asked “why do my friends go to church on Sunday?” My grandma told me “they just don’t know the proper way, it’s your duty to tell them”

I remember...being really horrible towards a kid who’s family was an atheist. We were still friends, but I will tell him “you’re trusting the devil”. My words never seem to hurt him since he laughed them off, but I never stopped...I look back and have so much guilt. So much guilt towards others too since I tried to tell them church was Saturday’s, and going on Sunday was wrong. I think about how horrible I was, cause my religion never taught me to be accepting to others beliefs, it taught me that it’s my duty to turn others to the right way. And that makes me upset. If my religion was the religion of “accepting everyone no matter what” then why is every one else’s religion the work of the devil? And why are baptism, also who was Christians, deem “evil” like Catholics in our religion.

Middle school. I started attending the church school. Hell

I didn’t like our new pastor, something about the way he said things just...didn’t stick. His kids were a nightmare. They torment everyone. Got teachers fired they didn’t like. And went crying to their parents if they didn’t get their way. No they were not toddlers. They were teens. One got in between my old best friend and I, and since then her and I were never the same.

Because I liked art and anime...I was the weird kid, so they constantly picked on me. Pastor kids telling me certain kids here didn’t deserve to be made by god. That god made a mistake. I told them to stop, but they would go “you just don’t know. It’s hard for us!!! We don’t mean what we say!” And looking and writing this now, that was the first gaslighting and toxic friendships I experience.

It made me more mad the pastor told the whole church that his kids were perfect children. And they set an example of how all the kids in the church could act. That pastor family was just horrible. Lies, manipulation, just rude. He would make side remarks about my mum’s blonde dye hair. He would say something to my mum if I wore pants or a leather jacket to church. Just the way he said things, made my mum feel like she was a horrible parent. They made side comments when my dad would finally show up.

“I’m sorry my dad wasn’t constantly gone, he’s was too busy fighting for our country.” Is what they would want us to say.

Church become a chore. Not a joy. And when we got a new pastor, one I started to connect with, we moved away and in with my grandma

Now highschool. This is where I started drifting away from religion. I love my grandma..I really do ...but she’s so extreme. The Bible this. The Bible that. I can’t have a normal conversation without her being up the Bible. Can’t watch a movie, show, or listen to music that’s not Christian without her bringing up the Bible or turning it into a Bible lesson. I hated going to church. I hated hearing “repent. The world is ending soon”

Hearing constant that our young generation is filled with the devil, feeling all the eyes of the elders on me as I’m trying to comfort someone’s child so they can enjoy church peacefully

Hearing anyone experiencing love towards the same gender is the devil’s working

That everything I like is filled with the devil

My grandma start forcing religion worst and worst down my throat. Saying I have to be prepare. I need to make my choice. Don’t I want to be in heaven with everyone? I need to give myself to god

I won’t see my family members who passed away Catholic.

That I need to tell my other side of the family who’s Catholic the right way

The news comes on....hearing the Bible says this the Bible says that

Trying to defend trump with the Bible

This pandemic is the first plague, the world will end soon

The studies getting more and more. I can’t even read the Bible just to study out of joy cause I feel like someone is breathing down my neck.

I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.

And then I’m introduce the rotten apples of my religion.

We shouldn’t wear mask it’s God’s air

Only having faith is god will keep you from getting sick and heal you

Ever remember of LGBT is going to hell

Woman who abortion are going to hell

People will tattoos go to hell

People who don’t read the Bible everyday are going to hell

People who want to make this religion more open and accepting, are hearing the devil and are going to hell

People who kill themselves are going to hell

Mental illness isn’t real; it’s just the devil and you just have to be happy cause you have god.

I told my mom I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t, it’s more forced down on me too much. If the world is ending what’s the point? What’s the point of college? What’s the point of life? What’s the point of looking for love?! Cause I’ve been told so many times my own children won’t ever get to adult or teen hood cause the world will end! What’s the point. I’m so grateful to have a mother who understands..

And it pisses me out with these Christian movies. A boy is about to kill himself, and is getting told “you’ll go to hell! You really want that?! To go to hell?!” Why are you showing this?! That’s a last thing a suicidal person needs to hear. They don’t need a fucking Bible lesson, they need comfort!!! As a person who’s tried drowning, choking, and harming themselves, I fucking know I wouldn’t want someone to find me and say “you’re going to hell for that!”

And then you have those horrible people who think just cause they are religious that it gives them a right to be a shitty person. My grandma would fucking forgive a murder if they came out as Christian.

I told my grandma once “I do want to be more involved with the church, I want to give a sermon” and she told me “you can give a small one, not a full one, god did not use women to preach, he used men. I rather you do the children’s story”

.......

The Vice President...some Christians hate her cause “god didn’t intend for women to lead, if he did his apostles would have been women”

my grandma says “she slept her way to the top!” But oh! She didn’t mind if trump, a man who’s assaulted god knows how many women was in office...

Forgive everyone....you’re suppose to forgive abusers..my bullies....I was told to forgive them even if they never said sorry..cause god wants us to forgive

I allowed..a boy to convince me to do things...cause men always knew what was right...it was ok as long as we didn’t have sex...and it was ok...cause he was a Christian boy...

I just try to be a good human...I have sickenly forgave so many people who’ve hurt me....and now...I’m the pushover...

But what I did was wrong...

I’ve just....drifted away slowly...my grandma has sort of stop trying, maybe cause I’m an adult so I can make my own choices..maybe my mum told her something...

But the things she says makes me feel ashame for being Christian....

For the longest time I thought we were perfect people...now that I’m older...I see we’re just as bad..if not worst...

It makes me so sick...just thinking..how I forgave people who HURT ME cause ...if I can’t forgive, then God doesnt want me.

If god really wants all of his “children” then why if it when we says “I don’t want to forgive the person who gave me this trauma” then it’s “i forgave you why can’t you forgive them? It’s so simple, you really can’t do something that simple? Guess you don’t want to go to heaven”

I’m so done

I’m so tired..

I have a headache and started crying a bit while writing this and there’s so much more. But my wrist hurts and just...I want to scream.

But for the majority...that’s my religious trauma.

I’m not hoping to gain anything, just to reach to anyone else who’s going through the same emotions...you’re not alone ok?

[shametheshadow]

Hot take... Fallout New Vegas isnt the masterpiece of gaming people say it is. A lot of the things I've seen people say are its greatest assets are actually hindering it in other areas.

Rant below cut

Having three visible places of interest at all times is well and good but in between those places are a lot of empty, boring space and enemies designed to punish you for going off the path. Sure, damage curves are great in games, but I'm so god damn tired of walking on this road, chasing after a target that will move just enough that it's never in reach until it's finally like a ten minute jaunt from the starting area. But if you try to take short cuts even just to cut corners on the road you get owned by mobs made to keep you on the path. Or set pieces designed to physically funnel you through a specific area. That's railroady as hell.

Speaking of which, karma systems suck if you dont make being evil fun. I have only ever seen good karma systems in Fable, because being evil is turned into this hilariousy visual thing and it neber directly punishes you for choosing the evil paths, instead making a lot of things easier in some ways. In New Vegas (and Fallout 3 if I remember) what is the point of putting stat points into any thief abilities if you get a big frowny face every time you succesfully steal from a locked container? And Karma isnt even directly explained in any way that doesnt just feel like an ominous "The game will remember that" at least in 3 it was made clear really early on that certain people wanted nothing to do with you based on how good or evil you were.

And as far as unclear instruction goes Caravan isnt explained well at all. The dude you enter the game with gives you some but you have to exit dialogue and read the instruction, re enter and accept, hoping you remember the rules that arent even that clear to begin with. I didnt even realize I had to manually select the vertical position of my card or that I could play on opponents until my third online how-to guide and now I still just use the bug in the programming that apparently was supposed to prevent you from cycling through your cards on the first hand to pretty much cheat a win every time because it tool so long to figure it out I dont want to deal with actually playing legit.

I've seen people say it has a lot of morally grey choices but so far I'm not seeing any. A lot of the more ambiguous choices seem to be something you wouldnt find out until the game is over, like which sheriff you choose but you're provided next to no information to make even a slightly informed opinion. The rest seem to be more "Do bad thing for caps? Or good thing and get shot a bunch of times?"

Even the factions feel very eh. It isnt morally ambiguous, it's that every choice is a bad choice. War never changes... and neither does the Brotherhood of Steel. The NCR is well intentioned but also absolutely useless. They dont even care in Primm whether you do their job or not and just sit uselessly providing nothing but an obstacle to walk around to get into the town. Then in Nipton only one NCR person cares about the distant smoke but claims they're so underfunded and undermanned she cant check it out... but me, a courier with a nearly broken shotgun and nearly broken leather armor can easily just walk in and gun down the four legion dudes and still nobody really gives a shit besides my faction standing... and who knows how the Legion figured out I killed their dudes in a literal ghost town where the only survivor is a dude who they disfigured and cant walk outside to see who is shooting who. Speaking of which, I felt more compelled to help raiders in Fallout 3 at times than I did the Legion or the Powder Gangers. The first thing you ever see of the Legion is the aftermath of them torturing and murdering an entire town. "B-but the town was full of criminals and morally bad people!" Says the game as if that matters when I'm staring at a pile of burnt bodies and guys bleeding out that the only way to help is to waste weapon condition to kill them. The Powder Gangers could have provided a decent argument against the beliefs and authority of the NCR... if your first meeting wasnt them threatening the small town that helped you or if they didnt lob dynamite at you on sight.

Everyone is terrible is a running theme in Fallout games and New Vegas doesnt offer anything new there. Two bad choices just makes me want to not make a choice, which is probably why so many people laud the Independent ending, cause at least the bad choices are yours.

Like, New Vegas isnt horrible, but it isnt the best game ever or even the best fallout ever. If anything it is equally as bad and good as other Fallouts. And for as bad as 76 can be, at least it isnt boring as hell to look at. Skyrim may have been Bethesda showing off their world design, but I've restarted Skyrim like 50 times, I'm not sure I want to slog through the starting areas of New Vegas more than twice. I have stared at the road texture so much.

Also I wish I had a carry weight cheat just so I could finally get stuff back to a work bench to repair my stuff. Tired of constantly being encumbered in a game that makes scrap actually important.

[set-phasers-to-whump]

first you get hurt, then you feel sorry

ok so i dont get how max evans aka mr. guilt could have learned that Important Info from sheriff valenti and then like.....not talked about it or anything?? so heres me fixing it, i think this is going to be like multiple parts which ive never really done so,,,,,we will see anyway @deepwoundsandfadedscars thank u for being patient with me lol, hope this is ok!! the title is from first by cold war kids (this is set idk like somewhere in a free moment between like 2x09 and 2x12)

Isobel leans into the familiar warmth of her brother’s side. It’s been a wild couple days, and she thinks she’s probably lucky to get any break from it at all. They’re in the park, and it’s nearly sundown, so it’s virtually empty, apart from the two of them sitting quietly on a bench. 

Isobel breaks the comfortable silence between them-she can’t help it, she just has to know the details of Max’s arrest, so she says, “how was prison?” nudging Max with her shoulder and grinning. “Get any tattoos? Join a gang?”

Max sighs, dragging a hand down his face. Isobel turns to her brother and really looks at him-he’s been a little off recently, and there’s a look in his eyes that she knows, and hates, and hates that she knows. Guilt. She frowns and waits for him to speak.

But Max just stares at his feet, saying nothing. Naturally, Isobel presses. “Seriously, Max. I mean, Michael’s got his fair share of drunk-tank stories, but I wanna hear from you. I am the only one of us who’s never been arrested now.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?” Max snaps. Isobel leans away a little, holding up her hands. “Okay, sorry,” she replies, only growing more curious about Max’s brief stint behind bars. 

He sighs again, closing his eyes. “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

“It’s fine Max, I’m not gonna rip it out of you or anything. I just thought maybe you’d want to talk about it.”

Max makes a hmming sound, leaning his head onto Isobel’s shoulder. After a few minutes of slightly charged silence, he speaks. 

“Before she officially arrested me, Sheriff Valenti...said some things. I didn’t believe her, I didn’t want to believe her...but...I think she’s right. About me.”

Isobel doesn’t press this time, no matter how badly she wants to, as Max takes a breath and runs a lightly shaking hand through his hair. She grabs the hand, runs her fingers across it soothingly, and waits for him to continue. 

“She told me, the day our parents came to the home, that it...it wasn’t Michael who was screaming and drawing the symbol on the walls. It was me.”

“But Michael-“

“Took the crayon from me, and then our parents came into the room, and saw him, and I guess they assumed it was his drawing on the wall. But it was me, Isobel. Me. I’m the reason Michael was left behind. It should have been me. He’s-it’s my fault.”

Isobel takes a second to process-she doesn't want to think about why this makes sense, not now. So she focuses on the things she knows: that they had been seven years old, strangers to everything in the world except each other, unable to speak, unable to truly understand. She can’t help but wonder, for a second, why her and Max’s parents hadn’t...what, taken the time to consider that Michael having the crayon in his hand didn’t necessarily mean that he’d been the one to deface the walls? But it’s not like she remembers that day-none of them do, so it’s not like she can say what went through the Evanses minds. Not like it matters now, anyway. 

“We were seven and didn’t know how to communicate with them, Max. There wasn’t a lot you could have done. I mean, you don’t even remember this happening.”

Max shakes his head, sniffs. “It doesn’t matter. Once we could speak, I should have done something. Told them they should’ve taken Michael instead, confessed, I don’t know.”

“Max, you don’t remember that day. You couldn’t have confessed, even if you’d wanted to.”

“Maybe. But...Michael went through hell, while you and I led perfect little lives. We had each other, we had a family. Michael had no one.”

“Michael had us,” Isobel points out. “We have always been a family, Max, even if we were separated.”

Max stands up. “No, we weren’t!” he snaps. “Michael was alone. Because of me!”

Isobel stands, too, placing a hand on her brother’s arm. “No amount of blaming yourself for the past is going to change it. And yeah, okay, maybe you were the ‘troubled child,’ and not Michael. That doesn’t make it your fault that he...that he was left behind.”

Max smiles, that sad, angry smile of his, and sucks in a breath. “Isn’t it my fault, though? Our whole lives, I’ve tried to protect the two of you. But now-I’m the one that put Michael in danger in the first place. He could’ve grown up happy, loved, with a real family and a house and...and a twin sister, and I stole that from him before we could talk!”

He collapses back onto the bench, burying his face in his hands, like that will stop Isobel from noticing the light trembling in his shoulders and his hands, or the way he’s taking these small breaths like he’s afraid, suddenly, to make any noise.

She sits next to him again, turns to face him, and gently places her hands over his, pulling them away from his face and into her lap. She continues holding on as she speaks, thinking carefully about what she needs to say. 

“Maybe,” she starts, “maybe that’s true. Maybe Michael and I could have been the Evans twins. Maybe he would have grown up in a better situation. Maybe. Or maybe, all three of us would have been split up. Maybe Michael and you would have been left to the system. You can’t change the past, Max, and you can’t know what would have happened if you could.”

She pauses, takes a breath, wipes away a tear of her own. “I know it hurts, to realize that there are things in your past which have hurt other people, but you have to accept those things as part of you. You were an abandoned, angry kid, and you screamed and you drew on the walls, and Michael took the blame for it. You can’t change that. But you can talk to Michael, or our parents. Just...figure out how you can accept this, and forgive yourself for it.”

Max pulls his hands out of Isobel’s, scrubs the tears from his face. “Okay,” he says finally, quietly. “I’ll talk to Michael, maybe Mom and Dad.” He manages a small smile, and leans forward to hug his sister. Isobel quickly wraps her arms around him, resting a hand softly in his hair. “I know you will,” she says. “You’ll work this out, Max.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, sounding like he maybe half believes it. Isobel smiles a little, pulling Max closer, letting his head rest on her shoulder. She’ll take that half-belief. It's a start, at least. 

i hope this was ok!! if it sucks lmk and i wont write more parts but idk im kinda liking this?? hope the finale doesnt like. screw things up too badly lol

[allet-space]

I try to contextualize the weird flashback scenes in the promo: The Novel

Let’s asses the ending and potential continuation in the finale logically to calm the impeding sense of doom that  I feel we all feel:

-The promo indicates that Steven will be heading to Homeworld

-Steven’s behavior after being pressured into speeding up time was to run away from the CGs. He doesn’t have his powers much under control, rather he likely feels he’s lost even more control. He only came back to heal Jasper. It is likely he will be wasting next to no time at home and instead try to immedietly leave. He doesn’t want to endanger anyone.

-The pink White Diamond indicates Homeworld won’t be what he hoped. The promo shows him in the house while looking all innocent but powered up. If this is before leaving for Homeworld, it might be the last push, having everyone see that less than optimal side of him. If it’s after, then he heads to Homeworld and comes back as someone else.

-Likely the diamonds show him how to deal with his powers how they always did: which is, uhh, badly. Spinel is there, but her history with Steven isn’t all that great and with Steven’s fragile state, he can’t guide them. He needs guidance himself. I doubt Spinel will be on board with the diamond’s bullshit, but that’s a 50/50. Either way I find it unlikely that she will be able to sway things for the better. We can safely assume Homeworld teaches Steven the wrong things and the diamonds only manage to twist him further, with an intense event such as pink White Diamond proving to him and really hammering home that they’re no help.

-I’ve seen people theorize WD tries to take back the pink powers and fails to control them, which would be a good example for such an event. Perhaps she is just reminded of that feeling and goes into pink mode herself, and that makes Steven realize not even the diamonds can help him without him hurting them. Both are plausible, and end with Steven leaving in despair, his last option exhausted.

-Steven returns, most likely in his, and I hate to call it that, chad state. In the promo we hear him say “I help people, I don’t hurt them.”  Which is very, very ironic considering HE LITERALLY SHTTERED JASPER. I’m still not 100% convinced that it wasn’t just all a collective feverdream that we all had because that can’t be real.

-Anyway so he returns looking not like our son, and talking down what happened and what he can do in that state. This indicates to me that White Diamond got to him, badly. Messing with Steven’s head isn’t easy: Usually it’s Steven messing with other people (usually with good intentions, but he changes people’s beliefs with ease none the less). The only time we see Steven being messed with is Jasper, and before, White Diamond.

-Out of all gems, she managed to stab him in his weak spot with just a few words in the way we usually see Steven do. So much so that he does actually start questioning himself. He starts questioning everything he ever knew, everything he ever believed. He starts questioning whether he really is Rose, Pink, his reasoning against her comes slow, quiet, and with a weak and unsure voice... until Connie yells at Steven not to listen to her. Out of EVERYONE, if ANYONE can change Steven’s beliefs - and they’re already on the edge after all the stuff Jasper hammered into his poor brain - it’s White Diamond.

-And yeah the diamonds have good intentions, and they follow after Steven and all that. But that’s just it. HE is asking THEM for help. HIS methods, by that logic, or perhaps the diamonds think it’s logical, AREN’T WORKING. So of course they help him their way, because that’s the only way they CAN help him.

-White Diamond is going to talk to him, perhaps in a similar way that Jasper did before they started training. He asks for guidance, he gets guidance. White Diamond is going to fill his confused and guidance-deprived mind with HER philosophy during his weakest moments, and by the looks of it? It’s going to work. It’s very in character for her, and similar to what we’ve already seen. We know she can do this. We know she WILL do this if neccessary. And we know Steven will soak it all up like a sponge no matter WHAT she says.

-This indicates Steven is NOT at his lowest point. His lowest point will be brought fourth by whatever brainwash White Diamond does to him. And I’m afraid. Very, very afraid. Someone said that he might try to justify the Diamond’s actions towards pink, but honestly, it could be anything. He might try to play down what he did to Jasper, or really just show that his beliefs were changed or maybe he’s trying to convince himself that they have. He could justify his powers, or his pink state.

-I predict that while something happens at Homeworld to White Diamond, something to turn her pink, she manages to get to Steven and mess with him and implant some semblence of Homeworld’s old philosophy into him. Perhaps she even uses what happened to her as ANOTHER reason as to why she’s right. I do FULLY believe her capable to twist facts and events like that.

-We have the promo show us that everyone, INCLUDING Jasper, are very shocked to see something. Now the promos have a bad history of overplaying normal moments and not actually showing the ACTUAL intense moments. Last time we saw shock like that it was the famythist which we found out were just looking at holly blue, which makes it hard to believe that we got an actual serious moment.

-However, it would make sense everyone is in Mild Shock when their baby boy son returns looking like... that. Connie is there, so yes, I do think its safe to assume that this is AFTER Steven returns from Homeworld... though it’s also possible that this is right after Fragments, and this is everyone’s face when they find out Steven shattered Jasper. I’m just calling it now while I have the chance... but, moving on.

-He returns, everyone is in shock. He shows clear signs of acting NOT like his normal self at all and probably says a lot of bullshit.

-Now, judging by the promo... we also see him look at his reflection in surprise. I’m not sure if this is after his return, or shortly before. Shortly before it would be him simply seeing his powers are acting up, that he looks different, that he needs to leave, and perhaps that other scene happens before him leaving too. However, I would still place his misguided statements for after Homeworld.

-But then why is he surprised to see himself looking so much like Rose’s old form? Like Pink? My theory is that this may be one of his moments of realization. SOMEONE by dear god I DESPERATELY HOPE someone calls him out on what on earth he’s talking about and maybe even mentions his mother, making him see how much he is becoming like her, maybe making him pull back.

-HOWEVER, considering we are nearing a great climax and that would be nice... that might not actually be the case. Another possibility is that he only THEN notices HOW FAR HE’S GONE. Only THEN does he realize that he looks like a diamond, and maybe he doesn’t realize that White filled him with lies, but that what he is starting to believe in is Homeworld’s old philosophy. Which can go two ways. Either he questions whether White’s ideas really are right or, alternatively... he may even question whether the rebellion’s ideas are right. That would be a ride. Also Jasper would not help on that matter.

-We see flashbacks to the series, which is... concerning? Id rather they assume we know and have flashbacks be short clips like in Growing Pains, and this will likely be similar, but the clips will be a bit longer. And Id rather have new animation rather than flashbacks for the finale, but who knows! Maybe it’ll be a single scene like in Growing Pains.

-I SUSPECT that these clips, considering they have to do with the diamonds and Steven showing the Diamonds who he is, and TELLING them that they’re family, will be the flashbacks we see when White Diamond messes with Steven. This will be the evidence she will be using to sway him, with his own words, his own statements and actions. Which can be very, very effective.

-She may put emphasis on the fact that he has THREE main gems that always stood by his side, his close family, and insist he was missing the other three diamonds in his life. Especially since they’ve realized now, with Spinel, that that is possible at all. Or perhaps they BELIEVE that after spending time with Spinel, they think they know why Steven surrounded himself with those three gems.

-Then we have “Do you remember this place?” which may also be used by White Diamond to mess with him? Maybe show him that his gem family is flawed, or that even THEY think/thought that he was rose. Its intersting that Pearl says this bit. She knew all along, after all.

WOW THIS WAS A LONG POST

TLDR

-Steven comes out of bathroom, powers flourish, he goes to HW

-White Diamond uses the past and flashbacks and his own actions to fill his unsure brain with HW philosophy bullshit, maybe even using her pink mode as a reason, trying to make SURE Steven thinks its the only way if that pink mode is to never happen ever again (if he doesnt follow the philosophy, white would turn pink again and get hurt/hurt other gems)

-Steven comes back acting not like our beloved son but very different. He changes form and shocks everyone with his new appearance. Perhaps he himself only then realizes what he’s become?

-Corruption?? Monster???

-The key scenes are NOT in the promo. The entire promo is specifically from minor buildup scenes so we cant TRULY know what happens

[maar1art]

Spoiler-free(ish) mumblings cos I started watching The Millionaire Detective - Balance: Unlimited and finally caught up to the latest episode, yay (๑•̀ᄇ•́)و ✧

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I swear if I had started watching this when it first came out, I would have had second thoughts about following the show and would've raised an eyebrow at the Hype it was getting. Sure, it's fun to watch (and anyone who says they don't like buddy cop tropes is lying), but the story doesnt really pick up 'til episode 5 and 6. But you had to establish your characters and the first four episodes did that exactly and it did have hints of where the story might go, so it wasn't just useless filler episodes.

As a matter of fact, you needed them to really set the mood and episode 4, though felt very fan service-y, laid down exactly where Haru and Daisuke's relationship is at. Haru called him on their day-off from work and if that does not speak volumes to you then you probably aren't in the work force yet, or in a weird one of a kind environment where calling your colleague on their day-off is acceptable. It wasn't an official job, mind you. The whole thing felt very casual. Unless ofc, Daisuke was Haru's last resort and all his other officemates refused when he called. Plus, he needed HEUSC. So I really doubt it. That's very unlikely, because Haru also knows his officemates, which is why in episode 6, when they basically left him to the ire of the bosses to save their own hides, he was only disappointed, not that very surprised. No hard feelings, it is what it is ╮(￣⊿￣)╭

So anyway, everything goes downhill from episode 4, and I'm excited to see where the story goes.

One thing though that I find really cool is the fact that Haru is already 30. Not just because he looks younger than that. (Heck, he's asian, nothing new there.) But I think the majority perceived him this way, because he had a trait more commonly given to younger characters. Haru, at 30, still has this childlike (naive) belief in the sanctity of law and justice. That's his whole thing from the start, that he takes his work very passionately.

And in episode 4, he does say, agreeing with the cheesy cop movie that was playing, being a cop is being both a hero and civil servant. (He does add that it is difficult.)

It's funny and fascinating, because we can assume he's been in the police force for some time now, and he is still so Good. Me, at 23, is a jaded piece of trash, so ofc I'd love Haru. Can you imagine the mental fortitude that guy must have to “keep the faith” so to speak? He's 30. He's got experience under his belt. So the only conclusion I can draw from this is that he chose to and is choosing to believe.

And this is why I think Mr. Cho (the only other “semi-competent” dude in the show) blew up at Haru in episode 6. Because Mr. Cho sees his younger self in Haru (also: similar color schemes and the same tactic with dealing with the bad guys, which Haru probably did learn from him), but somewhere along the way, he started to compromise. He thinks all “good cops” end up like him, and Haru insisting otherwise is like a slap to the face, a harsh reminder of his personal failings (°ー°〃)

Ughk. Haru is cool. One could only dream of being as enthusiastic at life as Haru is at 30 _(:3」∠ )_

And to think that we know more about Daisuke compared to the average joe Haru?! I mean, sure, he's the placeholder for the viewers that the mystery unfolds for us the way it does for him. But that can't be all he is for (๑ʘ̅ ^ ʘ̅๑) Who is he? Why is he like that? yeahhh, i just really, really like him (ฅ´ω`ฅ)

[indigopurple]

Episode review! Oh no.

Its almost 1am on a school night in finals week and I've decided hey let's do a "quick" review! I might regret this but I have zero hope or belief that I'll do well either way so whatever. LETS GET STARTED ON THIS SHITSHOW NOW SHALL WE?

Ok I must say, as someone who hasnt rlly seen any of the manga besides some panels here on Tumblr, episode 914 kinda surprised me (which was just the icing on top of the huge cake that is fucking hype and stuff obviously). We some uh, behaviour we don't rlly ever get from Luffy. Not much of it anyways. This episode was kindof a mix of impel down and dressrosa. Exhibit A.

Ok so we see hes horrified. The castle was fucking obliverated along with possibly his and Law's crew and their allies. And so he gets mad and punches the tree (which BTW that was rlly cool, he just hit it without any haki and it fucking split in half. Laws just watching him throw a tantrum like holy fuck how strong is this kid honestly)

Also! Note that I said horrified. That's not anger at first. Gee I wonder what else it could be.

Exhibit B. A few times luffy used conquorers haki, and

Whoa. Holy shit like this was so fucking cool. Hes so mad, and the art and the colors and I cant even show how fucking great this was in these few screenshots. So, so fucking cool.

Anyways! He's using conquorers haki WAY MORE than he ever has before in a fight. Like, dude he just mindlessly used it to shit up those guys standing by Horselina (speed) without caring. He's never, ever done that before, he always thinks of who is surrounding him first like 'oh i shouldnt knock out the innocent bystanders'. He did that like one time ever, in fishman island, and apologized while doing so. And entering the city, AFTER learning that the guys surrounding them were all bad guys, he used haki on them. Im not sure why he cares so much (maybe ill write abt that later) but he does. ANYWAYS...

Exhibit C. *sobs*

He (tries to) convince himself that his crew is okay. Hes really not sure tho; he NEVER QUESTIONS STUFF LIKE THIS, EVER. HES ALWAYS SURE. THIS IS COMPLETELY NEW. MORE FEUL TO WHAT ILL SAY LATER, BUT...FINALLY.

Exhibit D. Finale. More crying.

He's mad at himself. He blames himself. Has he ever done this before? Maybe. He never rlly said it out loud but I high key believe he does blame himself for stuff like this, with bon kurei and ace n etc.

Which means a lot of whats happening and how he reacts is at least mildly influenced by the war. Now.... I can finally say what I've been building up to. If its not obvious enough.....

Hes scared. Okay? Hes terrified. And hes so good at hiding it behind anger (and it USED TO BE CONFIDENCE BUT THAT WAS KINDA RUINED POST-WAR). He doesnt know if his crew is alive, his friend(s) might be dead, hes supposedly all alone (law isnt rlly on his side rn, he just wants to run away which is perfectly logical and good lord Luffy needs to calm down but he fUCKING CANT-), everything is out of his control. And he doesn't know how to beat kaido.

Which currently doesnt matter to him because all luffy can feel is rage (fear that oh my god everyones dead i couldnt protect them its happening again).

I cant add any more pictures sadly, but theres the thing where luffys like 'he got our friends. They might be dead. If I beat kaido right now, it'll be over, right?' To which law doesnt actually answer, he just gets this look like 'fucking dont oh my god we're so fucked stop it u rubber ball of anger issue's and then Luffy gets this whole cool scene of announcing his presence, jumping across the rooftops, gear third as he leaps like 200 feet into the air (could he do that before? I think he did it on accident in the fight against karakuri. Strong thighs.) and falls back down, screaming and anger as he costs his arm which is 10 times his entire body's size in haki. And he punches as hard as he fucking can. And it seems to work. God that scene was SO fucking COOL. Also throught this I think he's got conquorers haki coursing through him cuz it seems to have just been, constant. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a mindless self defense mechanism. Again, He's scared, and mad, and going all fucking out. Of course he would.

Ok im done rambling. I rlly need to sleep. Think I'll just wake up and cry til im at school and then I'll just feel nothing for the rest of the week. Ah, finals.

[p-st]

my "unkillable" quirk oc's hero name (villain? just for fun civillian name?) would absolutely be "Casualty"

a lil joke based on their casual view on death and well. death

dunno if theyd be a hero, villain, or civillian! theyre all pretty fun to explore. a vigilante would also be cool but i dont think theyd be a super morally upstanding one. definitely theyd kill a villain to restrain them bc "theyre totally fine! yeah, they're definitely dead, officer, but theyll walk it off in a few hours so it's no big!"

okay actually..thatd be a fun universe 🤔

hold on lemme just. type out loud here

Casualty: The Undying Hero! (or is it the other way around? idk how hero titles work) their wounds heal faster than most and if they “rejuvenate” you (crowdsourced name), one quick nap later you'll be good as new! (bc they also heal faster when out though not as fast as them) they will only "rejuvenate" people who have given their full consent or there is no other option (heros they work with sign contracts that give the okay and for what circumstances)(civillians give spoken consent and can request a full contract at their agency if theyre frequent fliers)

casualty decides case by case what the best course of action would be because, unfortunately, they do come across several suicidal heros and civillians alike that just want to know what its like to die. they have several connections with mental health professionals!

like eraserhead, casualty's quirk doesnt give way to much combat ability (pretty good for defense tho is still hesitant to kill someone. villain or not. some ppl can get addicted to the feeling) they compensate during fights with support tools! this isnt something ive thought about so idk what kind of fighting style theyd gear themselves towards but i think id like something pretty versatile.

also kinda looking for the secret to their death since yeah their own body can kill them but they dont really get sick and, while not immortal, they'll likely outlive everyone of their generation

Casualty: The Killer Villain! (do villains even have titles like this lol?) just THINK of the way torture would go! they can drive right up that edge and when they push a little harder and you come out the otherside unscathed you still arent safe bc youre under their whim! not a big bad with huge showy villainous actions but arguably much worse than those who make headlines.

more of an information broker! theyre the one u go to if u wanna make someone break. also takes "assassination" jobs (the PERFECT person to help you fake your death. deals identities like cards) not much in the way of morals and will give you a quick death fix but mostly to get you off their back (thinks ppl who wanna die are pretty disgusting and they revel entirely in their longlasting life. slow and steady, babey) has people contracted to kill others for them.

definitely looking for someone able to kill them. it's a big daring exciting joke to them! fellow villains will make attempts and theyll critique their effort later. also they make a very good partner for ppl trying to test out how much a new move would hurt (other villains come to these spars and time how long casualty stays down. theres a leader board for the longest time down bc it means their move was incredibly violent)

Casualty: A Name as Feared as it is Revered! (okay this one is just for fun) being able to kill but it not sticking is PERFECT for them in their mind. in this universe they couldnt think of another path being better for them (because of their black and white view of “heros save” and “villains kill” and that their quirk fits neither. not really)

theyve got a hit on them from everyone and it makes their days exciting! they compliment the more creative attempts and will drop by the place of person who killed them and leave a sticky note with a full review lol. as mentioned above, kills as a way to restrain! it's to the point where it's so common that whenever it's mentioned that they were involved w a crime a special crew comes to take care of it (you gotta be trained to compartmentalize seeing so many dead ppl that wake up kicking. it does smthn to ya)

theyll target everyone alike! heros, villains, civillians! it doesn't matter youre all ripe for the pickin! theyve got ins with a wide range of ppl and if they cant deal with them personally theyll follow what they see as the best course of action. some people deserve to be publically demolished by a hero, some deserve the horror of a villain, and some deserve the cold hand of civillian law. theyve got a little (major) god complex and believe they have the right to be the judge jury and executioner (in spirit lol) obviously this mindset isnt well received by the public (coughstainchough) but unfortunately they make good judgement calls and they usually dont get the final say in what happens to someone anyway (unless they kill the person and that person learns their lesson or whatever)

does however have a personal vendetta of reforming systems and being very against the pissing contest that are hero rankings. this occasionally makes their judgement calls biased.

the most consistent things would be:

connections. lots of them and the types of connections depend on what path theyre on. theyre good at talking

outside support in the form of weapons or people to "finish the job"

general belief that their choice is more than likely the right choice

loose morals. comes with the territory of a death based quirk

controversial in any universe (except maybe a bonus one where they claim their quirk is not being able to die and not also not being able to kill? that universe would be steeped in self hate and either a bitter death or a life dedicated to putting a mental health support system in place for people with "villainous" quirks)(actually their quirk would still be controversial bc thats the point lol)

permanent casual view on death. doesnt see the big deal

very hm. unconnected to living? sure theyre just excited to be here! but they have the most solid grasp on the inevitability of death while also not super getting that when someone dies they get to stay dead? theres also the tiniest bit of envy there

probably either never got the death talk or got it very late. no one knows how many kids were at risk while being friends with them while young bc they wouldnt put the effort into saving them from life threatening situations (bc casualty always got back up, why wouldnt anyone else)

(bonus story for above would be that once while they were a kid a friend fell off a tree and hit the ground in front of them and they just walked away to keep playing then they came back later and the friend was still there so they went to either their own parent or the kid's parents and told them "[name] is taking a long time to get back up, i wanna play again." queue the sad ending here im aiming for)

upbeat sometimes in a near manic way. genuinely happy really often and finds joy in the smallest things like a slug in the grass or a wildflower coming out of the sidewalk (life in all kinds of places in all kinds of ways!)(theyre big fans of mushrooms. in death theres life or life gives way to life or whatever. idk it's fake deep. i just think mushrooms are cool and wanna project)

anyway this is like. long as shit lol! is anyone even reading this? i love you if you are. i might try to take this character and bend it to fit some of my own worlds bc wow i think theyre cool BUT if any bnha fans ARE reading this please feel free to include them in fics or stuff if you want! link me if you do id literally fall in love (u can name them what u want, dress them how you want, give them whatever pronouns you want, etc.)(dont claim them ofc but using them is fine!)

(and if you want me to idk... flesh out a character for you? 😳 lol id be very open to that! i love worldbuilding!! you dont have to.. aha... unless..?😳😳)