#they come off as compassionate and if you don’t know enough about the issues they make it sound like they’re on the reasonable side

[biosblades]

I’ve seen whispers of various accusations, but I’ve just found out from their latest post dump that prismatic bell is a genuine violent Zionist. So I decided to do a bit more digging and it literally took me like 10 secs to find the receipts exposing ableism, racism, terf rhetoric, and other hateful behavior.

I honestly used to reblog a lot bc I feel like when they do make a good point (even broken clocks ig… or they do a really good job masking their bigotry as progressivism and sometimes that results in a few genuinely progressive stances) they’re very well articulated, but a lot of the (extremely well founded) accusations are also for spreading misinformation so I’m not trusting shit anymore. If it is something I know for a fact they’re right about I’ll just do the work to articulate it myself

Anyway I know Im like the last person to know about this but sorry to anyone who knew and was subjected to them because of me and here’s a formal warning to anyone who still wasn’t aware of who they really are

[soaked4mk]

Raiden Head Cannons

SFW 💙

★ Oh, Raiden…where to start with this sweetheart? He’s compassionate and understanding. He’s never the type to jump the gun, and risk hurting your feelings.

★ His communication skills are on par. You two rarely argue and thats because of how understanding and levelheaded he is.

★ Truly, you would be a mess without this man. He’s the glue that keeps you from tearing yourself apart.

★ Did I mention that he’s hopelessly in love with you? Like the first time he ever set eyes on you, he was infatuated. he’s also considerate of your feelings. He usually takes yours into account before his own.

★ Which is a curse, and a blessing to be honest. You want to consider his feelings just as much as he does your own. Sometimes it becomes a tiny issue with how much he pushes aside his own feelings.

★ But again, the communication is great—so usually it’s talked out and carried on with new vigor to do better- no matter the situation.

★ He’s not the type of man to get overly protective or jealous. He’s seen you spar, and he knows what you’re capable of. On top of that, he trusts you with his whole heart, and finds jealousy to be petty. (But sometimes he’ll see you and Kenshi conversing. and when Kenshi casually puts his hand on your shoulder— it kind of irks him.) But he tries to keep those feelings hidden. He finds it selfish whenever he catches that small pang in his chest. He knows it’s all in good camaraderie.

★ Again though, if he sees something that is truly bothering him, his communication comes in handy. he has no issue to gently confront the issue at hand, or to discuss it with you in private.

★ Raiden loves to play with or do your hair. It doesn’t matter. He’ll learn whatever he has to about your hair type in order to perfect his practice. He feels it’s intimate and a good spend in quality time with his significant other.

★ Be prepared for constant lighthearted chiding. It’s in his stoic nature. He finds himself often guiding you or correcting you gently when something is amiss.

★ Not that you mind him mentoring you at times ;)

★ He’ll help with your form if you’re doing a warm up before training. “That’s very good Y/N…” his voice smooth, while taking his hand and placing it on your lower back and , helping you touch your toes more efficiently.

★ Yeah, there are definitely no complaints here.

★ Raiden is a pretty private person. He prefers affection behind closed doors. Now this doesn’t mean he’s not going to hold your hand/waist in public. He doesn’t mind a small peck on the cheek—though you can catch him off guard and peck his lips, causing his cheeks to tint pink.

★ He just finds personal affection sacred, and likes it better when it’s not boasted to the world, though he is very proud to have you by his side, don’t mix it up for embarrassment—he just wants to keep his composure.

★ Please, this man loves to praise you. Give you words or nods of affirmation, soft glances and smiles your way is enough to know how much he loves you when in public, or in front of the other defenders.

★ Being a thunder god and all, working with Liu Kang. You have to be stoic. At least in his eyes. And you totally understand and respect that.

★ Raiden loves being with you. He absolutely admires you. He’s quite the lover boy when you aren’t in view of others. (He’s a lover boy regardless but he’s clingy when it’s just you two). If you’re doing dishes or cooking, he’ll walk up behind you and snake his arms around your waist, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.

★ He’ll ask “Did you need any help, love?” Or “let me get that, you just worry about this.” He’s fantastic in a household. He’s great at keeping up on chores with you, maybe too great. He’s often finished everything that needs to be done in the house before you get home or wake up.

★ No complaints. you have to love a man who knows how to be domestic. He even makes small competition to see who can finish all their chores first. Sometimes you’ll raise the stakes and the loser gets to cook dinner for the night.

★ Gentle. He’s really gentle. He can be deep too. And thats what piqued your interest in the first place. He prefers to talk things out before he has to resort to violence. But he wouldn’t hesitate to defend you from harm. He’s logical, and usually quick thinking, so most of the time his words usually resolve conflicts.(can’t stress his amazing communication LMAO)

★ But the conversations you two have? amazing. Time consuming in the best way possible. You trade aspirations and goals with one another, hoping to help each other achieve said aspirations and goals. And you talk about your future—it often ends in the topic of marriage and the excitement of planning a proper wedding for the two of you.

★ He’s so supportive. Like if there was a contest for most supportive boyfriend, he wouldn’t show up—he’d be by your side, helping you with whatever, instead of on the pedestal for first place.

★ He can’t stand seeing you cry. It makes his heart swell, then deflate completely. His heart aches when he sees you in distress. He tries his best to be there for you in times of need, and for the most part—he is. Truly.

★ But there have been the couple occasions where he was on a mission for Liu Kang while you’ve been left to fend for yourself or for your own feelings. Which is totally okay—and you insist to Raiden that it is. But it doesn’t change the fact that he feels horrible for not being there when you could have really used his company.

★ He’s a very empathic person. So when he finds out he wasn’t there for you when he most certainly would have preferred—it stings. He feels kinda guilty about it. And though you insist that he has his own life and priorities to Earth Realm, and that it’s totally valid to not be around 24/7, he can’t help but shake his head, waving off your words.

★ “Oh, absolutely not…I should have been there for you. I’ll make it up to you—whatever you want me to do my love…”

★ How can you deny such a genuine offer?

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷

NSFW 💦

★ Your pleasure definitely comes before his. Every time. He’s attentive when it comes to your needs.

★ Raiden is a more slow, sensual lover. He likes to take his time on you.

★ So expect a lot of foreplay from him.

★ Really feel like he whimpers. Just had to add this.

★ Certainly can get down and dirty with dominating you, but he loves when you take control too.

★ For sure is a soft dom if I’m gonna be honest. He’s going to guide you and talk you through it the entire time.

★ Along with classic princess treatment, he’s showering you with praise and compliments. “You’re doing so good, pretty girl.” “Jus—just like that~” “that’s it, hon.”

★ Don’t see him spitting in your mouth, or slapping your face, that type of stuff. He would definitely find that disrespectful.

★ I mean…if you asked? He’d be a bit hesitant, but if that’s what you want, who is he to deny your pleasure you know? Plus he gets off on whatever gets you off…so he’d adapt.

★ “all you had to do was ask, y/n.” He’ll say, gripping your face with one hand, forcing you to look at him. “Just tell me what you want, and I’ll be more than willing to do it.”

★ But back to the foreplay. He loves peppering your face and neck with small kisses. Sometimes he’ll leave a few love bites, while his rough hands trail down your curves.

★ “You’re so soft~ so pretty…” his hands will gently squeeze your thighs, reminding you of how much he adores you.

★ He loves using his hands to make you feel tingly. Quite literally. I mean, if you’re lucky, and are able to convince him to…he’ll treat you to some soft core electro stimulation.

★ Though it’s rare, since he doesn’t have full control over his power yet…

★ He’ll gently pinch you’re nipples, rolling them between his fingers while adding a small shock here and there.

★ Even better when he’s playing with your pussy, and he jolts your clit suddenly. The feeling in indescribably euphoric.

★ Raiden loves teasing you, edging you on. He finds it extremely arousing when you buck and writhe under his touch.

★ He definitely takes joy in being the only one able to make you this pathetically needy for him.

★ His teasing can be in the verge of cruel sometimes, and it drives you wild. “Please—just fuck me already Rai~” you’ll pant out, with you chest heaving, and cunt aching.

★ And of course, hell tend to your needs. Especially when you’re begging him like that!

★ “I’m not fucking you, y/n…i’m making love.” He’ll correct, his pace quickening, adding a second finger—even a third. Stretching around his digits while he praises you for taking it so well.

★ you’ll whine and squirm under his touch, grinding against his hand as he fucks you onto his fingers.

★ “You’re so beautiful like this, Y/n…” his digits curl just right, hitting your sweet spot mercilessly. “Like that? Love?”

★ Your back arches as he works you to reach an extreme climax with just his hands. “That’s right gorgeous~ cum for me~”

★ Unable to hold back, why would you when he asks so nicely anyways? Gripping the sheets while your eyes squeeze shut—your legs tremble before a rush of rhapsodic pleasure washes over you, and his hand.

★ Only after you cum, will he finally give you what you’ve been aching for. With a sly smirk playing on his lips, he’ll slowly—but surely sink his cock into you.

★ “look at you, taking me so well. Good girl~”

★ Relishing in the warmth, he’s sure to make you feel every inch of him as he picks up his pace ever so slightly. “Mmff~ that’s right—mhmm.”

★ This boy loves eating pussy. Just saying, he especially adores face sitting.

★ Please suffocate him. He doesn’t even notice your weight. In fact—he’ll pull you further onto his face, nuzzling his nose into your clit with a hum.

★ He gets pussy drunk so easily! It’s actually endearing with how much he praises your cunt.

★ “What a pretty pussy~” “you’re an absolute treasure.” “More?” He doesn’t stop with the praise—or the guidance. He’s very vocal with you during intimate encounters, as you can see.

★ Don’t worry about aftercare. He’s got that in the bag, baby. Whatever your needs are, he’ll grant them.

★ Hot tea and snacks? A movie night? Maybe you’re in need of a full body massage, or perhaps you’re craving a nice warm bubble bath? Whatever it is, he’ll do it for you.

★ You’re his pride and joy after all, he’s gotta make sure you’re as pristine as you were before the coital moment.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hello! It’s the Kanao anon again. I know I’ll said I’ll wait for a bit, but my mind is super fixated on the wonderful way you wrote. This will probably my last request for a bit as I’ll be busy, but can you please do a continuation of Kanao x Jealous Male Reader, with maybe the Reader/Dokusha telling Kanao of their feelings and just how much she meant to them? Thank you, and please take your time!

Oooh! Okay, I can definitely try this and I know exactly how to end it! It’ll be perfect! Thank you for the Kanao ask, it was nice to write for solo Kanao

Tsuyuri Kanao- Feeling Flop

“Hey… Tsuyuri, can I tell you something?” You spoke softly, effectively breaking the slight uncomfortable silence built up as that single request had Kanao turning around and tilting her head in curiosity. Huh? What do you want to tell her? She isn’t the best when it comes to keeping secrets or talking about problems? Sure, she really does care for you and your health but if something is wrong, she doesn’t feel like she is good enough to be relied on

However, she could never reject you in any sense. You mean so much to her so she lets out a instinctive soft yet beautiful smile and averted her body from the side to facing you, to show you that she is paying all her focus onto you. You two were eating lunch together in a patient wait for the other three slayers, Tanjiro, Zenitsu and Inosuke to be finished with their vigorous training

Even if Tanjiro was a nice boy and you wouldn’t doubt that he has much likability, you couldn’t stand him and you were beyond jealous of him. He won your longterm crush, Kanao over like that with no issue whilst you had been trying to catch her attention from the very beginning. Weren’t you kind enough? What did Tanjiro have? Are you really not that good enough as a man or as a boyfriend?

“Yes, Dokusha?” Kanao smiled gently, shuffling the bento off her lap so she could better pay attention to you. Taking a deep breath to stabilise your rapidly beating heart, a half of you couldn’t believe you were about to actually admit how much you like him, how much she means to you and how long you have been hiding everything for. Kanao was rather nervous, what were you going to say to her?

Were you done with being her friend now… she seriously hoped that wasn’t the case as after a few more seconds, you finally begun to speak

“I… I really like you, Kanao”

… What?!

Kanao’s gorgeous pastel purples widened in shock at you as her hands clutched together to try suppress her amazement, she could tell exactly what you meant without you needing to describe it. Love, you love her?! Is she hearing things? This must be some weird joke or prank!

“Like… more than as a friend. I’ve liked you ever since we met… ever since we’ve been training together under Ms. Kocho. You may think you don’t have any personality but you do, you’re compassionate, you’re protective, you want all of us to be safe. You’re a wonderful person and… I can’t help myself. I love you, Tsuyuri Kanao, I want you to know that…”

Your cheeks were burning with flustered rosy red as you kept fiddling with your thumbs. Finally getting this piece of truth off your shoulders was like being able to kick off such a heavy weight from your chest. The light-hearted, light-headed feeling was like heaven. You knew you may have messed up your years of friendship with her but you were willing to adapt

Anything to be able to stay in her life as you gazed at her with hopeful, curious eyes. Your gaze made her feel even more prickly. Not a good prickly, she didn’t know what this feeling was but she didn’t want to feel it. Was it rejection? She did like you, you’re amazing but… she also likes Tanjiro… and a lot. She just kept looking at you with slightly parted lips, her brain skipping over repetitively to try come up with something

Shit… what does she say? She doesn’t know, she doesn’t know how to answer. Should she flip a coin to decide?

[paperback-rascal]

Okay okay okay okay but consider...

Crosshair, in a self-hatred fueled fit of desperation, attempting to remove his own chip and it, of course, goes wrong and he winds up with a horrific infection.

He collapses on a mission and gets left behind by his conscripted team. Luckily for him, the Batch stumbles across him—they were on the same planet, unknowing going after the same target.

Well... Specifically, Wrecker stumbles across him. He knows that the other Batchers don't trust Crosshair anymore, but... He's still their brother right? They can't just leave him behind... But, he's worried about how the others would react, so he sneaks Crosshair onto the ship and stows him away in the Cargo Hold, doing his very best to keep his presence a secret while also trying to heal him.

Unfortunately, medicine isnt Wrecker's area of expertise, which puts him in a bind: he needs to convince one of the others to help Crosshair, but who is the right person to go to? Hunter's probably a no-go, he's made his feelings towards crosshair very clear. Tech had the most medical knowledge, but he seems adamant that Crosshair is "severe and unyielding" and what if Tech doesn't want to help Crosshair because he believes the sniper is a lost cause? Omega also knows stuff about medicine, but she's just a kid, right? Besides, what if she tells Hunter? Echo is pretty compassionate, even if he doesn't know a lot about medicine, maybe he could help? But he knows that Echo doesn't like to rock the boat, so what if he refuses?

Crosshair is sick, maybe to the point of delirium, and the clock is ticking. Wrecker just wants his brother to be safe, but he doesn't know who to trust.

Wow, @ct-crosshair​​ you’re one of those people that always keep me on my toes! This is an idea that could easily be turned into a whole comics ISSUE not just a comics strip! I hope you won’t mind me... expanding your prompt more than just answering the question.

I’m not exactly sure if that’s what you expected but I hope you’ll enjoy it nonetheless!

It kind-of got longer than I though, thus the whole reply is under the cut/“read more”.

I think it would be more intense if Crosshair was subconsciously digging into the scarring at the side of his head (something akin to a tic?). He scratches the surface constantly because it BOTHERS him - it might be a feeling of tightness/itchiness or maybe he “sees”/”feels” a lump there and just dig his fingers at this spot, to kind of feel what is it, but he can never get “deep” enough to get it out.

He is kind of getting paranoid about it but every time he goes to medics, they just brush off his concerns as “Clones being weird for no apparent reason”(maybe the feeling of something alien being under their skin is a symptom ALL clones have post-Order 66?). Despite ointments, bacta patches, meters of gauze, even trimming Crosshair’s fingernails to the skin, the sniper’s fingers constantly prod at the wound.

I think the mission that kicks-starts your idea, had him being up-high on a sniper’s perch alone, per usual. During mission, Crosshair barely talks to his team (or they have to have radio silence of some sort, due to delicate nature of the mission) they don’t know the wound started to bother him more than usual (developing infection).

Since Crosshair tend to keep to himself post-mission, the team assumed he is just brooding somewhere alone, not bothering to come back just yet. So they are not alarmed by his absence also... they’re freaked out by his judgmental stares and remarks that cut just a centimeter too deep for their liking. With Crosshair gone they, themselves, can have a little breather.

Clone Force 99 are on the same planet as Crosshair’s team - they have the same target but different objective. However after the mission, TBB is stranded there because either/or:

they have to lay low for few days before leaving (most likely they weren’t subtle about their mission - thanks to Wrecker)

their ship broke down (thanks Tech’s chaotic flying)

they can't leave, because Crosshair's team is waiting/searching for the sniper and don’t want their position to be compromised.

I think with Wrecker when it comes to: head injuries, burns (he is a sapper with affinity for explosions) and festering wounds, he had plenty of first-hand experience. His first gut reaction would be "it's OK, Crosshair's not THAT bad, I had it worse" and he would try to help Crosshair himself with his limited knowledge.

I don't think he wouldn't hide him on the ship, tho - Havoc Marauder is a very small vessel, too small, in fact, to have any "secret", unused spaces. Every cubic centimeter of it is there for something all day, everyday (even the unused/cleared out corner at cargo, is the leave-me-alone space and it is... frequently occupied). He would find a decent secluded area (a cave or he would build him a temporary shelter for example) to keep the sniper safe... and to cool him off as "well, he feels slightly warmer to the touch but it's not that bad".

The rest of the team would notice Wrecker disappearing and appearing at random, but the planet/weather is super nice, so no wonder they all just want to be away from each-other as much as possible to recharge.

So with all that, I can see the sniper getting gradually worse, but Wrecker is in denial about his condition. Mostly trying to excuse it with the good old saying: it has to get worse before it gets better.

The sniper never was too lucid to begin with and treated the sapper like a hallucination but one day Crosshair gets WORSE (or Wrecker finally understands how bad the sniper got) on top of that weather also gets worse, Havoc Marauder was THIS.CLOSE. to being detected AKA EVERYTHING.CRUMBLES.ALL.AT.ONCE. so Hunter orders them to leave.

Wrecker considered, as a valid option, to give Crosshair back to his Imperial squad. Empire has better medical facilities than CF99 would ever stumble across and he assumes they had better medical equipment in the ship. However seeing how unbothered the squad was with their commanding officer absence, also fever-induced/delirium Crosshair was saying stuff that just made NO SENSE as to why the sniper wanted to stay with Empire.

So... Once Hunter comms Wrecker to come back NOW, we have to leave NOW. Wrecker decided to “kriff it! I’m taking him with me. What’s the worst that can happen? If Hunter leave me behind with Crosshair, so be it! At least sarge can’t sell Lula, because Omega needs it to fall asleep.”

All the way to the ship Wrecker is super gentle - it’s definitely not his usual sack-of-space!potatoes-carry but more like a wet-space!cardboard-box-of-sleeping-tooka-kittens-carry.

Hunter had to make split-second decision what to do with Wrecker just appearing at the Havoc Marauder ramp with Crosshair in his arms, but before he could even open his mouth to give any order, Omega sprung to action forcing the sapper inside...

that was like opening floodgates, with Echo being a first adult responder. But since he has just one arm, he pulls another person to the mix.

Hunter just stared at the commotion of everyone trying to help/stabilize their estranged brother. The whole mood was so heavy it could be cut with a vibro-blade.

Then, what Hunter feared the most would happen, happened - the emotional fallout.

With Wrecker thoroughly interrogated by CF99 and chastised for poorly made decision that almost caused the sniper his life and the safety of the team/mission, whole team, one after the other (not knowing about other team members doing the same), came to Hunter in private with exact same request - they begged/reasoned with him why they can’t leave Crosshair behind again.

No matter how many times Hunter said it was the sniper’s choice, no-one accepted Hunter’s reasoning.

Omega is making childish promises on how she’d help even more around the ship and do her homework better and eat everything off her plate at dinner;

Tech announced he “rethought” the whole situation that happened during the sinking city of Kamino, and now have several theories about the chips and one of them might just be an answer to the sniper’s odd behavior;

Echo’s at the brink of a PTSD episode as he himself was “the one left behind and then found”;

Wrecker being ready to just fight his way through Empire to get Crosshair back if Hunter let him go;

It was like talking with five stages of grief personified... with Hunter being also one of them.

Because deep down inside, he knew something just made no sense... but Crosshair’s decision is his own and it should be respected... right?

===

STAR WARS: The Clone Wars/The Bad Batch © George Lucas/ Dave Filoni/ LucasFilm/ Disney

[ellie-andthemachine]

The Rookie: Echoes of the Past

Synopsis: From oldest rookie to T.O., John Nolan takes on training the newest rookie, Officer Ellie Moore. In her first 6 months on the force, an unresolved case catches up to her, putting her survival to the ultimate test. A tale of mentorship, resilience, and facing one's demons head-on.

Character bio: Ellie Moore is 29 years old. Fresh out of the academy. Auburn/Ginger hair color, blue eyes. 5ft 3in, average weight, but weighs more than she would prefer (no lack of trying, but health issues hinder). Comes from a single mother and a younger brother. Doesn’t normally delve into her past with others, unless its warranted. Ellie is compassionate and empathetic but can also be closed off at times. Secretly deals with minor to mild depression, depending on situation (would never tell anybody in fear of being kicked out of LAPD). She considers Lucy, Nyla and Angela good friends, but even more so Nolan. She views Nolan not only as a T.O. but sees him as a father figure as well at times. Ellie was diagnosed as a carrier of Fragile-X Syndrome and is afraid of having children in the future in fears of passing on the gene.

It’s a sunny day in Los Angeles as Ellie heads to work. Windows down, music on, and volume up, the lyrics of “Can’t Take Me Anywhere” by Sam Tinnesz blare as she pulls into the station.

Parking in her usual spot, she rolls up her windows. They’re forecasting rain during her shift, and she'll be damned if she has to deal with wet seats again. In her side mirror, she notices Chen and Nolan talking at the station entrance and wonders if they saw her arrive. Getting out and locking her vehicle, she swings her bookbag straps over her arms and hurries to catch up with the others.

“Ah, good morning, Ellie,” Nolan greets her with a warm smile. “How’s my favorite rookie doing?”

“Tired. Apparently the 3 cups of coffee I’ve had this morning haven't counteracted the effects of the Benadryl I wound up taking last night. So, I’m hoping today goes like a breeze.”

“Well, I hate to be negative, but you probably just jinxed it,” Lucy grins.

Ellie rolls her eyes, chuckling, “Yeah, well, I’ll make sure to let Nell know that you're hoping for all the big and bad today, Chen.”

“Don’t you dare! Anyways, I’ll see you guys at roll call. Thorsen apparently had a date last night, and I’m curious about how it went.” Lucy heads for the doors and goes inside. Ellie and John watch her hurry inside."

“Did you have an allergic reaction to something last night?” Nolan asked, his concern evident.

“Huh? No. Why are you asking?” The question caught Ellie off guard.

“You mentioned taking Benadryl last night. Most people use it for allergic reactions. I was just curious about what you might be allergic to. It might be something worth knowing for the future as your T.O.”

“Oh,” Ellie paused, unsure how to respond, “no, I’ve just been having a hard time sleeping the last few days. I don’t do it often, usually only when I’ve had enough of struggling.”

“Is there something causing the issue?”

“Um,” she pauses again, “I, uh... it just happens occasionally. It won’t affect my work, I promise. I’ll, uh, see you in roll call.” Ellie says, making an abrupt move for the doors, leaving John watching her as she walks away.

Nolan decides to give her a moment to reach the elevators and get to their floor before heading inside himself. He makes a mental note to talk to her during patrol.

Taking her seat up front with Thorsen and the other rookie, whom she was sure would wash out within the week, Ellie observed as the more senior officers filed in.

“So, Lucy said you had a date last night. How did that go?”

“Not bad. We went to dinner and sat in my car, talking for a few hours. Natalie seems really nice, and she wants to go out again this weekend,” Aaron replied with a smile, his excitement evident as he started building a better life for himself. Most of the negativity surrounding Patrick’s death and the documentary drama had faded away, allowing him to rebuild and rebrand himself for the better.

“Good. I know you've been looking forward to it. I'm glad it went well.”

“Oh yeah. Nat and I are similar, yet so different in many ways. I'm hopeful. Of course, it's only been one date so far, so who knows? I'm curious to see where it goes.”

Ellie patted Aaron on the shoulder, saying, “So am I, dude. Keep me updated. Seriously.”

Thorsen smiled and added, “You know I will. So, how was your evening? Any fancy dates on your calendar?”

Chuckling, Ellie shook her head. “You know damn well there aren't any. Which is perfectly fine with me. I'm only six months into training; I need to stay focused to get through the rest of this twelve-month torture with Nolan.” She said the last part loudly enough for John to hear, turning in her seat and smiling to show she was joking.

“You've got this, Moore. Hell, from what people say, you're Nolan 2.0. I'd say you've got nothing to worry about.”

Ellie blushed, not entirely used to compliments, and said, “Thanks, dude. I appreciate it.”

Lucy walked in, giving Ellie and Aaron a warm smile before taking the empty seat next to Nolan.

“Hey, can I ask you something before we head out on patrol?” John asked Lucy quietly.

“Of course,” she said, looking at him with concern. “Is everything okay?”

“I think so. I'll talk to you after roll call.”

Lucy nodded.

“Alright, everybody, good morning,” Sergeant Grey's deep voice boomed as he walked in. “For once, the night shift left us with no follow-up cases. So, business as usual. Nolan and Moore, Chen and Thorsen. Harper is assisting Lopez with a case. Bradford will be in a little late. Contact me if you all have any issues. Dismissed.”

The other officers filed out of the bullpen, leaving Lucy, John, Ellie, and Aaron.

“Ellie, could you go set up our shop? I'll be along in a moment.”

Ellie nodded, saying, “Yes, sir.”

“Hold on, I’ll come with you,” Aaron said, rising from his seat as well. “Hey Lucy, I'm also going to go set up ours.”

“Thanks, Aaron,” Lucy said, smiling."

Once Thorsen and Ellie had left to set up their respective shops, Lucy turned to Nolan and asked, “What’s going on?”

“Have you noticed anything different about Ellie? I'm slightly concerned about her,” Nolan replied.

“Concerned? Is something happening?” Lucy inquired, worried about her friend.

“I'm not sure. Apparently, she’s been having trouble sleeping lately. And when she mentioned taking a Benadryl last night, I asked her about it after you went inside.”

“What did she say?”

“She just mentioned she's been having trouble sleeping and was tired of struggling, so she took one,” Nolan explained. “I tried asking her to see if something's going on, but she, well, avoided discussing it. She assured me that it wouldn’t affect her during patrol,” he paused, “which, to some extent, I can agree with; it hasn't affected her work.”

“...but you're concerned it might in the future,” Lucy finished.

"Exactly."

“Look, I know as well as you that she's super private. Even with me, Nyla, and Lopez. Trust me, it hasn't gone unnoticed. We've tried to figure out ways to get her to open up, but we haven't had much luck.”

Nolan sighed. This wasn't what he had hoped for. “Thanks, Lucy. If she talks to you, could you let me know?”

“Of course. Although, you'll probably have better luck. She's basically 'Nolan 2.0',” Lucy smirked.

“You've heard that too, huh?”

“Oh yeah. Hey, it's not a bad thing. You've done well for yourself, and maybe she will too.”

Nolan chuckled, “Yeah, maybe.”

“We should get going. Good luck out there today. Call us if you need backup.”

“Hey, you too.”

Lucy and John headed for their shops, grabbing the assigned body cameras on their way.

“Alright, Rookie, you’re behind the wheel today. Let’s go.”

“Yes, sir,” Ellie replied, taking the keys from Nolan and getting into the driver’s seat. “Think we’ll have an eventful day?”

"Who knows? It’s LA, a city full of crazies. I wouldn’t doubt it,” Nolan responded.

Ellie nodded.

The silence in the car lasted for only two minutes.

“Alright, so you didn’t take Benadryl for allergies. What are you allergic to?” Nolan asked, curious.

“Not much, really. At least, I don’t think so. Just mold; I can’t have Bactrim or dilauded. Pet dander used to affect me a lot, but it hasn’t since I got Gracie. My mother was allergic to penicillin, but I seem to have lucked out there,” Ellie explained. “I guess if anything ever happens, just make sure EMTs don’t use dilauded on me,” she shrugged.

“Why? What happens if they do?”

“The first time, we thought it was a normal reaction. The second time,” she paused, “the second time, we knew it wasn’t. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I couldn’t talk or really breathe. It was like an out-of-body experience. If you can imagine it, I felt like I was watching myself lying in the hospital bed. Turns out, it stopped my heart for a moment. Scary stuff.”

Nolan absorbed everything Ellie shared. “I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'll make sure you're never given it if I can help it.”

Ellie nodded, driving quietly for a moment. “Thank you. Not many people know about it. I mean, it's in my file, but…”

“…but you haven’t discussed your experiences. I understand. I appreciate you sharing that with me; I can imagine it wasn’t easy.”

“Not really. But I trust you.”

“Thank you. I trust you, too.”

“7-Adam-15, a domestic dispute call. The address is being sent to your box.”

Nolan picked up the mic to respond, “7-Adam-15, show us responding..”

“So much for an uneventful day.”

So, please be gentle. I haven't written anything in YEARS. Also, I've spent the last 2 weeks binge watching The Rookie. BTW Nathan Fillion is cute as hell. Anyways, I am looking for a beta, if anybody is interested!

Also, I hope I did all this right. I don't usually post on Tumblr! -_-

[starstofillmydream]

You were about to lie down when you heard the door chime. An involuntary groan escaped you. It’d already been a far too long day, and now somebody comes to bother you in the middle of the night? You almost ignored it, almost chose to not give a fuck and leave whoever was outside standing in the cold. But the door chimed again and you realised that whoever was out there was evidently quite determined.

So you went and opened the door, an angry “What?” escaping your lips before you even realise it.

But then you look up and stare into familiar brown eyes. There was a softness, a compassionate in them. He had always been very tuned in to how you felt, but had he really realised that quickly? Well, you had just barked around him.

There was a soft smile on his lips, betraying his affection. “Sorry, I know it’s late.”

“You said two more weeks.” It was all you could get out, as you stood there, in shock. You’d been thinking about him every day since he left, had felt that gaping hole in your chest and you had prepared yourself to feel this way for two more weeks, but here he was. Cody. Your Cody.

“Guess I missed ya,” he said, his smiled widening.

You finally start grinning too, before you rush to pull him into a hug. He reciprocates on instinct, holding you tightly against him. You can feel the hard plates of his armour digging into your skin, but you don’t care. Cody was back and he was with you and he was safe. And that’s all you really ever ask for.

———

About an hour later Cody has eaten and showered and is now lying in bed next to you. Your head is resting on his chest. You can hear his heart beating, feel him breathing. His hand is in your hair, stroking it absentmindedly. He was exhausted when he arrived, and was already dozing off now.

You had a million things to say though, a million questions to ask about the campaign and a million more things to tell him about your godawful day. But you didn’t, because you wanted him to rest. Besides, with him here nothing else really mattered that much.

And yet. Despite the relief and joy dancing in your chest, there was still a pit in your stomach and a certain tightness in your throat. And after a while the contradiction became too much and silent tears began rolling down your face.

You hadn’t thought Cody would notice, as he was basically asleep at this point. But then you felt him stir.

“Cyar’ika?”

That single word, in that tired yet sweet, sweet voice was enough to knock something loose inside you. The tears started flowing faster and a small sob escaped you as you sat up, your back towards him. You were glad the lights were already out, so there was hardly a chance he could see you.

“Hey, hey,” Cody said softly and sat up as well, moving closer to you and gently grabbing your shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

He leans in and kisses your cheek and you sob again. His arms wrap around your waist now as he practically pulls you into his lap from behind.

“What is it?” he asks again.

“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice a bit unsteady. “It’s just been such a long day and most of the evening was really shitty and I’m so happy to see you but I’m still just…,” you trail off and sigh, trying to wipe some of your tears. It sounds pathetic now that you told him, but Cody wasn’t laughing.

No, he was stroking your back with one hand and wiping your tears with the other. There was such a kind calmness to the way he moved, to the way he touched you.

“You’re overwhelmed?” He suggested, offering a name for the issue.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay. What do you need?”

For the next hour and a half the two of you stayed in that position. You told Cody about every shitting thing that’d happened as of late and he listened attentively and answered every question you asked. He never stopped rubbing your back or kissing your face or scratching your head or finding another way to show you his affection throughout the whole thing.

You don’t remember falling asleep that night, but when you wake up the next morning it’s in his arms. And what else could you ever really ask for?

PHI 🥹😭 HI HELLO HOW ARE YOU HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?!

This is absolutely beautiful and made me so giddy and so comforted at the same time. You captured Cody's emotional intelligence so well—I genuinely felt like I was being held by him in my bed. The hug? The kisses? The hand running through the hair? Listening attentively and asking questions and staying engaged? Being pulled into his lap (this one in particular took me out)??? The overall gentleness? This is the dream realized.

Thank you so, so much for sending this to me. I appreciate more than you know; honestly, more than words could adequately express. Reading this instantly made me feel better. You're such a talented writer so receiving this in my inbox was such a treat 💕 It was so nice hearing from you and I hope all is well for you!

[kl125]

Why do you ship Mileven?

(This was chilling in my drafts, and I just realized that I never posted it lmfao).

Oh my! Well, that’s quite a question. I guess I can boil it down to this, for my TL;DR folks: I ship mileven because it makes me happy. Let me explain. I’ll try to keep things concise. This is my opinion, and how I read scenes, so please keep all of this in mind. More under the cut!

I find their relationship to be one of the most realistic portrayals I’ve ever seen in media. So many shows and movies get two characters together, show only the happy moments, break them up over a stupid misunderstanding, and then they get back together after a grand gesture, without addressing the reason they broke up in the first place. It’s standard, it’s cute (sometimes), but it’s fairly shallow. It works in things like romantic comedies, when we don’t have a lot of time to really get to know everything about their dynamic, but it leaves me wondering, “Do these characters even work well together?”

With Mike and El, there’s no question about it. We see it from the very start. Mike is compassionate and selfless, albeit a bit closed-off with his feelings, while El is courageous and loyal, but deeply insecure about her self-worth. They both value honesty, and they have a strong need to protect the ones they love through any means necessary. El loves Mike’s nerdy side, while Mike loves El’s boundless curiosity. The few times we see her genuinely laugh are when Mike is being a goofball, and Mike has never made her feel stupid for asking about a common topic.

However, the Duffer Brothers aren’t afraid to show that relationships take work. It’s not all fun and games. One way or another, the “honeymoon phase” will come to an end. When we’ve seen cracks in Mike and El’s relationship, they’ve been real problems. Not some stupid misunderstanding that could be solved with a quick explanation and a little trust between partners.

Mike lies to El (per Hopper’s threatening insistence), so that he can continue dating her, otherwise Hopper will force them to separate permanently. El knows from the start something is off. She’s doesn’t blindly believe him. She trusts him, but she’s afraid something bad is going on. When she finally confronts him outside the mall, you discover it’s not about the lie itself, but why he did it. She wants an explanation of the circumstances that lead up to the lie. He eventually explains, but now this issue has shed light on another, much more pressing concern. They are spending way too much time together, and it’s not helpful for El’s personal growth. This was the original problem that Hopper tried to rectify, but he went about it entirely the wrong way. Max attempts to advise El on solutions, and while it helps her gain confidence, Mike and El both still desire a reconciliation of some sort.

In the end, because Mike and El have a solid foundation built on trust and understanding, only they can fix the cracks and repair the damage. Mike fully apologizes for keeping her sheltered, and he vows to be a better partner. It’s a great way of showing how problems don’t need to be the end of a relationship, as long as both parties love and care enough about each other to recognize their faults and make appropriate changes. It’s not about changing who a person is at their core, but rather knowing how best to treat a partner so that they feel supported and loved beyond a shadow of a doubt. And it’s important that Mike and El are the ones fixing the problem through their words and actions, and not a third party messenger running between them.

It’s also wonderful to see a character like El find another person who loves her unconditionally. El has long since accepted who she is and what she can do, so much of her conflict centers around if she’s worthy of external love and acceptance. She’s spent her whole life searching for it, and the closest she got was her mother. However, because Terry is basically catatonic, there’s no way for El to nurture that bond. In walks Mike Wheeler, and suddenly she feels like a person, not a weapon. He sees her as she is and loves her for it. She doesn’t need to hide any part of herself, good or bad.

As for Mike, he struggles with opening up and expressing his feelings. He’s honest, but only to a point. El challenges his comfort zone and guides him to a more open state of being. “Friends don’t lie” is the driving force behind their relationship. They make each other better, at the end of the day.

I could go on, but I feel like this is long enough already. Let me know if you want me to expand on any of these points.

[ofradiances]

PLOTTER / SHIPPER

taken from: Bren's Alcryst, I saw this a long time ago and saved it only to never finish it until now. *averts my gaze*

tagging: Anyone!

1. CONNECTIONS

write about how our muses could connect with each other! ex. what does your muse like to do that other people would be involved in? do they have interests that other people might share?

He's a swordsmanship instructor, so if your muse is a student, any thread based around that could be a good place to start figuring out a thread! He teaches for the Golden Deer I could justify him tutoring a student from another house.

Fellow faculty, I'd like him to make work friends.

I want him to get involved in a lot of those prompts that involve either 1) physical fighting (one another, such as in a spar or misunderstanding, OR fighting together against an external force) or 2) helping others resolve issues. It also need not be a prompt! Any thread with either premise is a safe bet!

Loves exploring the area. Wants to know exactly where the monastery is relative to other nearby places both in terms of other towns and also wilderness, loves scouting the area and discovering new places.

Can be found doing any sort of work that needs doing even if it isn't specifically his job. Do you need help with something? Can you either pay him, trade him something, or look helpless enough that he decides to help for free? Easy starting interaction.

2. PLATONIC

Write about your muse and their concept of friendship. Ex. how is your muse like with friends? Do they make friends easily or do they find it difficult to connect with others?

Ike makes friends pretty easily. It takes him a while to consider someone close but he demonstrates in game that it takes very little for him to start to care about someone and want their well-being. He is a naturally compassionate person even though he sucks hard at showing that on his face. RBF problems.

Once he likes someone he is kind, helpful, and eager to do what he can for them. He likes friendships where the gain is mutual. People who he can help but who can help him in return when the going gets tough.

When he's with his friends he can be a lot more relaxed. There's less pressure for him to look tough and in charge and he lets his guard down around his friends and family. Those who count themselves among his friends are people he has known for a long time and whom he has built up a rapport of trust and affection with.

He has a very "live and let live" attitude. He's been on the wrong end of some misunderstandings and a bad first impression isn't enough to make him not like someone. He tries to be reasonable and to look at a conflict from all sides. Dislikes "black and white" views of the world and looks charitably on others so long as they demonstrate good intentions!

3. ANTAGONISTIC

Write about your muse and the conflicts they have with other people. Ex: who are they on bad terms with, what kind of people do they not get along well with, how do they act around people they don’t like

That said if you demonstrate over and over that you're unreasonable, he won't be reasonable back! Or if you are antagonistic toward any of his friends. That's enough to make him write you off and get on bad terms.

If on his bad side, he will be a road block. An obstacle. He will be something you need to get past in order to progress and he will do everything he can to make sure that can't happen!

If it's someone who's not a fullblown enemy but just someone he doesn't like very much he will just avoid that person. When he truly can't get along with someone even after trying to understand them and they aren't someone he has to defeat or overcome he just tries to avoid it.

Why start conflict when there doesn't need to be conflict? But if you come at him you'd better be ready.

4. ROMANTIC

Write about your muse and their relationship with romance. Ex. are they searching for love or not interested in it in the slightest, what’s their dating history like, how do they act around crushes, how would they treat their partner if they were in a relationship.

Ike is being played as if he achieved A support with Ranulf and entered a paired ending with him (per @felinebr's permission of course). Ranulf is his romantic interest and the most straightforward type of love that Ike knows how to demonstrate. The pure romantic and desirous. They want each other in every way and so it's really simple for Ike to conceptualize and deal with.

He wasn't searching for love outright, Ranulf was sort of something that happened without him looking on purpose. They just clicked. They built up mutual respect. They treat one another well and are now past the 'honeymoon phase' where things seem exciting and new.

He has no dating history pre-Ranulf! He may have entertained a crush or two in his head but never acted on anything like that. Ike was too focused on other goals.

He also has a less straightforward relationship budding with Reyson (per @reprisalet's permission, of course) which is more of a romantic friendship. Sometimes for Ike the line between platonic and romantic isn't very easy to define and one becomes another. I found their support chain in PoR and other convos to lend themselves very well to a slow-building relationship that is harder to define.

[in2thenewworld]

Hi 👋🏻😊 hope you dont mind me sending my request here instead of PMing you; I'm curious who you'd pair me with :3

I'd like a matchup for a male DMC character. My pronouns are she/her.

Appearance: I'm 5'3", got a full figure body with a round face. I have mid back length, dark chocolate colored hair with down turned eyes of the same color. Under my left eye are 2 freckles that look exactly like this -> : <- I usually wear comfy clothes, but will dress up if I need to. Most of the time I just wear a tshirt with pj pants, or leggings with a tshirt.

Personality: I am introverted, possibly an INFJ, I am more emotional than logical, and am a Gemini

Interests: I like to read, write, and basically do anything creative; I like working with/using my hands to make something, or to help someone out (giving massage, need first aid, etc.) I am also a foodie, love looking up recipes to try and love to cook/bake.

What I look for in a partner is someone who has a sense of humor, knows how to have fun and when to be serious, can make me smile, and are kind-hearted or compassionate. They can be introverted, extroverted, or ambiverted, it dont matter to me as long as I feel I could vibe with them and talk to them about anything.

My love language is physical touch and quality time. I don't really have an ideal date, just staying home with either a cooked meal or takeout would be fine with me as long as I'm with my partner.

heya! however you prefer to send the info is good! and thank you again for the matchup you wrote, i absolutely adored it 🥹

anyway, let’s get into it!

hope you’re alright with a chit chat or monologue, because I’m loading your match!

…ପ( •̤ᴗ•̤ )੭ु⁾⁾.｡.:✽・ﾟ＋

your match is…

NERO!

Nero first met you during his off time between jobs at home in Fortuna. You would probably bump into each other by chance. I can imagine a scenario of you helping out a group of children who were lost perhaps? Nero knows how to help them get back home, so he jumps in to assist you. Then, once it’s just the two of you after all of that, you spark up a conversation, and funnily enough, there’s certainly a spark.

You cross paths a few more times before you eventually decide to make the first move. You bring him a small variety of baked goods when you swing by to ask the big question, and Nero tries to play off like he’s much cooler about the whole thing than he really is.

Nero’s sense of humour often comes in the form of poking fun and being a bit of a tease. You can also make him laugh pretty easily. That being said, he knows when to turn it off, so that’s not an issue.

You can talk to Nero about absolutely anything. He won’t tell a soul if you don’t want him to, and he’s got a level enough head to give good advice to others. Sometimes he might be the type to offer solution before comfort, though, so if you’d rather the latter, you might have to tell him.

Nero would go to hell and back a million times for his loved ones. He’s got a kind heart, and he’ll do almost anything to make you happy. His tone when he speaks with you is softer than with anyone else. It’s almost funny. Alright, it’s hilarious. Nico rinses him to death for it, but she’s always on the receiving end of his sarcasm, so it goes both ways really.

Nico would totally get along with you, though. You’re around her a lot by association with Nero, and if you enjoy hands on tasks you might find yourself in the garage as a project partner quite often.

Nero is totally here for the chilled home dates. He finds it comforting to have this space with you that you can call your own, so there’s not many places he’d rather be. He’ll let you choose the food and a movie, he’s just happy to be there.

Sometimes he’s away for a long time on missions… Luckily, you’re always there to welcome him home with your affection and some form of small gift, favour or a date planned. He brings you back souvenirs too if he gets a job in a new, fascinating place. Think of it as making up for lost time. (You also spend a lot of time together post mission because you’re patching up his wounds and insisting that a massage will ease all of the tension and aches that come from fighting. Not that he’s complaining, he welcomes your touch.)

I hope this is to your liking! :) and to my followers, what do we think of the slight format change?

[cebwrites]

helping their s/o with cramps (law, ikkaku)

a/n: hhhhhh cev is dying from shark week related issues so here’s some food for my homies who, too, are plagued with the accursed blood-moon no gn reader this time tho, sorry ;w;

transmasc reader (law), he/they law fem reader (ikkaku), transfem ikkaku word count: 0.9k

Law

You’re flat on your face in your room, you can’t move - it hurts too much

Your captain huffs about the crew not taking their jobs seriously at first, as the Heart pirates are known to goof of at the best of times, but once they realize that you’re not fooling around Law starts being a bit more compassionate; apologizing through actions rather than words as usual

They might not have the same parts to deal with it, but Law’s a competent enough adult to know that you wouldn’t be faking it and wouldn’t make you work through it if possible - he’s also clobbering the other transmasc idiots on the crew who try to power through their pain by ‘working it off’ and end up more hurt than helped

The heat of the sub doesn’t help, it makes you a little touch repulsed on top of the dysphoria that shark week typically brings, but being able to lay your head in their lap while Law runs his fingers through your hair is always a welcome comfort

Law still coops up in his office per usual, even while the blood-moon tears through you, because they’re a creature of habit - but you are allowed to bundle up in a blanket on the couch in there and moan in pain about how pUt UpOn and uNLoVed you are for not being kissed right this instant

Periodically, when Law gets out of their chair to stretch - doing so more often with you there, yowling at him - you’ll get those kisses, maybe even cuddles if your captain’s feeling generous (only if the ocean’s blue)

Of course, Law personally oversees any medication you take for this if you do, making sure to prescribe the right doses to ease your pain, monitoring closely for side effects, changing up your meds if they aren’t working like they used to, and looking out for conditions that afab people are more susceptible to like UTIs

If you don’t, a hot water bottle and home made comfort snacks from Pengy are just as appreciated - Law will also be damned if they don’t make sure you’re hydrating, especially with how much you’d sweat out in parts of the Tang that aren’t air conditioned, when you’re well enough to work at least little 

They’ll also waste no time picking you up bridal style and shambles’ing you right back to his office if he feels like you’re overexerting yourself, no ifs ands or buts about it

When you’re feeling down and out about things, particularly because of dysphoric reasons, Law will crawl into bed next to you and simply hold you close, murmuring soft affirmations that assure you’re still his man no matter what hellish functions your body puts you through every month - and mi cielo, given that you’re comfortable with it, Law would be more than happy to remove those offending parts for you

But if not, he’s just as content to keep you in their arms until the cramps and nasty thoughts subside, warming you with their body heat, pressing sweet nothings to your cheek and temple 

Ikkaku

Oh honey, querida, come hereeee

The moment you tell her that it’s that time again and you’re not feeling too great because of it, she’s immediately sweeping you off your feet - really it doesn’t take a lot for Ikkaku to spoil you anyway, but this is a ‘special’ case according to her

Though she doesn’t go through the exact same symptoms as you, hrt sure does know how to make a gal feel like a woman in more ways than one - all inclusive of migraines, bloating, mood swings, cravings, etc, the whole shebang

So when your cycles do line up, your captain is courteous enough to allow the two of you a few days off to recoup/be sappy together in your bedroom and roll around in shared pain - you curled up in a ball from abdominal cramps, and Ikkaku faced down in her pillows because any fraction of light makes her migraines infinitely worse

You’re still holding hands under the covers, though

She still gets her work done of course, she’s got a reputation to keep, but Law doesn’t pay much mind when Ikkaku asks for a little time to take care of you so long as someone else can fill in the gaps, to which anyone in the Heart crew is more than understandable about, and considering there’d be at least a few hands volunteering to pick up the slack in at any given moment, Law doesn’t worry too much about it

Ikkaku’s there to hold you and tiredly mumble embarrassing compliments about and to her princesa in the crook of your neck, whining when you have to get away because it’s become too hot to cuddle, and get warm water bottles/drinks and snacks for the two of you to munch on in bed before one of the other crew members eventually yells at her for unnecessarily tracking crumbs into the dormitories again

During the last couple of days of your cycles where things are okay enough for you two to get back to work, she’ll plant you in her lap (or hers in yours) and firmly claim that this is vital for a proper recover - not at all for easy kiss and affection access - plus, the heat helps with cramps, and all everyone else does is give the two of you a flat look before minding their own business again

Your captain least of all has any ground to stand on this, considering how much of a lovestruck mess their partner is, and the lovey-dovey nonsense he ends up participating in, whenever the Hiraishin lot are over, so really the Heart Pirates get to be as affectionate and sappy as their namesake implies  ♥️

[to-the-one-before-me]

I don’t know where to start other than this one truth: I know you miss him, and I know he misses you, every day, all the time.

He misses more than just your face, your touch, your laugh, and your infectious energy. He misses the life he had built with you. This was a life that he might find similar ones with another person, but that won’t be with you, and it breaks his heart.

I am nowhere near you. I am just a woman who met him when she too was going through heartbreak. I am just a woman who wishes nothing more than the two of you to find love again. I honestly don’t know what that means anymore though. It’s truly remarkable to hear about how much he admires you, cares for you, and wishes he could still share each day with you. He regrets his actions at the end and he regrets becoming the villain that he always knew he could be, but never wanted to be for you. He talks about you in a way that one would talk about the most precious thing they’ve ever had in their life. And that’s what you were to him that’s what you still are to him.

You are forever his babygirl, and I am just a woman in his life right now. Your relationship with him was complicated. I won’t say more than that. The intricacies in the power struggles seem to been part of the downside but I’m here to talk about the upside’s. This is to hopefully help you heal some and to help him know that it’s okay for him to not love me the way he loves you.

You two met and connected over time. From what I can tell it seems as though you two spoke a language that no one else even came close to understanding. You two were so in sync that his nonverbal tendencies would not even be an issue for you and you were able to anticipate his needs in the exact way he’d always wish someone had. He cannot find the words to describe what it was like to have a partner that just got him, but I will do my best to describe who you are through his eyes.

Not only were you kind, and patient, and gentle, but you were also his best friend. He could talk to you about anything, although he admits that you may not have understood it all, the important thing is that you were there for it all. You were there when he first started on his great journey. Although it may have started long before, you were there at the catalyst, the turning point. You were there through some of his greatest discoveries. And you were a muse for him. I doubt he’s going to be willing to admit it, but I think you were always on his mind and his work.

I can feel how much he cared about you in some of his pieces. Some of the songs he plays for his work, I can hear your laughter, and I can feel your compassionate smile. He knew with you, he could be himself, and you would love him through all of it. And I think part of that scared him in a way he still won’t admit. People who have a fear of being put into labels, or boxes, or categories, do not want unconditional love. It confuses them because they have conditions for everything. He has standards that are extraordinarily high, and from what I can tell, you lived up to most of them. That in itself shows how remarkable of a person you are. Actually, he uses the word spectacular. And he’s not just talking about your appearance. Although he would be right to do so, since you are gorgeous, and I hate saying he deserves someone like you.

I know that I am not special enough for him. I know at first I was just a placeholder until you and him worked things out together, and some days, it still feels that way. He doesn’t cry over anything as much as he does when he talks about losing you. You struck a chord in him that will never change. It’s hard being around him when he has something that reminds him of you around. Certain movies are off-limits. Certain songs, if I don’t appreciate enough, he’ll shut down. When it comes to intimacy, I can tell he misses you the most then. I am not warm. But I know that you were.

He never hesitates to remind me that he learned how to be soft with you. He has told me this on multiple occasions when he’s talked about how cold I am or how stiff I am, and how it’s something that he too had to learn from you. It must have just been natural for you, as you were such a loving person as he described, and I hate that he has to settle for me. His hands reach for your body, not mine, and I can tell. He’s used to your touch; yearns for it and it’s so obvious it hurts. He gets disappointed when realizes that it’s me and not you. I do not blame him for this one bit. I understand him choosing you over me.

If things have gone differently between you two, I know I would not even be in the picture at all. I am grateful that I am in his life and that he is in mine, but I know how much happier he could’ve been had he been with you. He misses all of the activities you two used to do. Whether it be gaming, watching movies, cleaning, or cooking. I’ve told him that he needs to forgive me for not being you. For when he gets short with me, when I don’t know how to do tasks he asks me to do or expects me to do, because they’re clearly things you used to do, it hurts. I have to remind him that I am not you, and his face falls just a bit in that way. I know you know what I am talking about. It’s the simplest things that make him think of you.

He misses waking up with you in the morning, and how you two used to interact at the break of dawn. He misses not having to remind me, as his partner, to snuggle with him, because it is not my instinct to do so, but it was clearly yours.

Although, in someways, I think he has achieved more with me in his life; he himself has admitted that he would have more fun with you in a day but he has an a month with me. I know he misses that. I don’t want you to feel like you have to go back to him, because that is not what this is about.

I want you to know that he has not gotten over you just because he is with me now. You still are a part of his every day existence and will be forever. Nobody will ever take your place beside him. For you are his babygirl, his one and only, And everything he ever said about how much he cared about you is true and it still is. I’m sure that doesn’t erase any of the pain and I’m sure that you still have extraordinarily complicated emotions about him. I know that this won’t make you fall asleep at night any easier, or make doing these tasks without him any better, but I hope you find some sort of comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. He is missing his other half right now as well. You mean more to him than I think he ever told you. I hope you know that he cared for you in the way he told me he would never care for another person. Including me.

Learn from that what you will about me. As I said, I was going through heartbreak as well and I don’t think I’ve moved on either. Him and I have found companionship together, but it is not anywhere close to what you and him had. If you see any sign that he is or that he has forgotten you, ignore those signs. You will be with him for as long as he will be around. He remembers your birthday and gets very emotional around then. He still can’t remember mine. He has taught me a lot about affection, intimacy, and so many other things, that I know he learned from you. I know this, because he has told me so, and he is so proud that he learned them from you.

I want you to know a few more truths about him without you. I bring out some of the worst sides of him, and I can tell that you brought out the best. He has also reminded me that those sides of him that I see sparks that are absolutely wonderful, are only brought out because of you. It took him a while before he started cooking again, and I didn’t understand why. And then he showed me something which he called “the definition of you and him”. And it looked like the things he was trying to re-create with me. A lot of the things he does with me are knock-offs of what he used to do with you.

I want you to know that when he would say to you “that you will never find somebody like him”, he also meant that he would never find somebody like you.

I sometimes wish I could just talk to you when I don’t know what he wants from me at that time. He’ll get in this mood, and I know that he’s expecting me to do something that you used to do to get him out of it, but I have no idea what that was and he has yet to tell me. It is obvious he doesn’t wanna admit that all he really wants in those moments is you. I can tell that you used to calm him down better than anyone else ever could; you also could hype him up like nobody else could. He is missing every single facet of your existence and that you still matter even though you two are apart.

[aajjks]

mommy issues!JK

you’re a good teacher, a great teacher.

fortunately (or unfortunately depending on where you stand), you’re a teacher to the best age group, which are kindergarteners. everyday, five days a week, you teach basic mathematics, tracing, shapes, letters, numbers, and even practice english with your class of 4-5 year olds and it’s a lot of fun. tedious at times, but it’s fun.

watching your students excitedly come to your class gives you the best feeling because you want your students to be excited to learn and know that besides being a teacher, you’re a friend too. when your students have bad days, you bring them to your emotions carpet and converse with them try to brighten their day. you’re a lot of fun too. everything you teach has something fun to it. cartwheels outside to test science theories, math scavenger hunts, candy as rewards; you just want your kids to be engaged.

you don’t consider yourself the best teacher but you definitely consider yourself the most compassionate because no one in this building understands or loves your kids as much as you do. however, that “love” you share with each of your students has sometimes become a bit difficult seeing as your newest 5 year old is a little possessive over you.

introducing jeon seol, your newest student who just turned 5 years old and is such a cutie. before i share the bad news, let’s talk about the good:

seol is a social butterfly..sometimes. he’s a vibe kind of child and if he feels as though you’re nice, then he’ll open up little by little. he’s very friendly and polite to his teachers no matter who they are even if his distaste for them can sometimes be a little obvious. besides being an expert with dinosaurs, he wants to be a scientist one day. he’s also very smart and does really well with all of his schoolwork (he’s a little stubborn too. he likes figuring things out on his own to make you proud).

now let’s go over the bad:

lately, seol has been hitting his classmates. at first, you let it slide because he’s only 5 but when he hit a child so hard it left a bruise, you had to mark it in his behavior chart. he throws small tantrums when you don’t always acknowledge him. he’ll pout, cry, or sometimes shut down like a computer if you don’t butter him up and the last thing is, he calls you mom and well, you’re beginning to feel like one because tending to his needs and his desire for you constant attention makes you feel like you’re more of his mother than teacher; blurring the lines a bit.

don’t get me wrong, you love the kid regardless but you also love ALL of your kids and if seol doesn’t stop then he could end up being suspended.

RIIIIIIIIINGGGGGG

“good morning nabi. good morning hanuel. good morning jihye and jimin! make sure you guys hang your stuff up and sit in your assigned seats” you tell your students as you wait at the doorway to greet more of your students.

you gasp “good morning seol!!”

the little boy basically runs into your arms and who are you to deny such a warm hug.

“are you excited for school today? you are? that makes me so happy” you smile “good morning, mr. jeon”

if you think seol is a cutie then let’s introduce the man who created the adorable rascal, jeon jungkook. the day he dropped off his son, he immediately turned heads and became the talk of the school. your teachers couldn’t get enough of the man even now as you’re talking to him you can see your co-teacher, chaeyoung, pretending to “hump” him.

you don’t know much about mr. jeon but you won’t deny his attractiveness. he’s got a baby face paired with a body made by gods buuuuuut, business and pleasure doesn’t mix well. you’re his kids teacher and judging from the rumor of his ‘wife’ or ‘baby mother’ you’re steering far away from him. he’s already the talk of the school, you don’t want to be the topic of conversation next. but it’s hard to not be the topic when he brings you gifts or sweet treats to apologize for his son’s behavior, just like now.

“mr. jeon” you gasp “you shouldn’t have. i told you to stop doing this because i feel in debt to you”

from afar, chaeyoung can’t help but listen in on the conversation you both are having. it’s so obvious he’s got a crush on you. she could see the hearts in his eyes from the moment he approached you.

“i think seol is adjusting well but i need to talk with you after school about his behavior chart. do you mind coming back to see me? of course if you’re too busy i can send an email”

~🫧

He’s always so eager to see your beautiful face in the morning, it may be one of the reasons why he gets up so early to get his son ready for school.

Jungkook wasn’t really the kind of man who would get up early in the morning but ever since he had his baby! he’s a changed man.

Just as now, as he stands in the doorway while you pick up Seol from the floor, he smiles as seol cuddles into you so easily.

“Hi Ms yn!!” he cannot help but blush because everyone is staring at you. But that is not the reason why he’s blushing. He’s always blushing whenever you talk to him or Look at him. Jungkook almost scoffs when you tell him to not bring you any gifts.

How can he not bring you any gifts? You’re a gift from God yourself. “Oh please it is the least I can do.” He bows, smiling, like a fool.

Although he’s looking really carefully at you because you’re just so beautiful and he cannot help but stare at you, “what? Oh okay sure!!! I’ll be there!” Are you giving him a golden opportunity right now?

He will get to see you once again, and talk to you even more privately, this is a good day. Although he is Not sure about what you have to say about his sons behavior. He hopes that everything is good.

Jungkook nods, as he says bye to seol, who doesn’t really care that his father is leaving because now he’s in your arms.

Seol thinks you always smell so pretty, just like his father says. “Ms yn… I’ll be back in in a few hours.. be good, champ, yeah?”

[zyris]

Happy birthday Ena!!!

I don’t know if I have time to draw so quick write up dedicated to some things I love about you

Nightcord is a complicated group of kids and Kanade, Mafuyu and Mizuki all repress themself to some extent regarding their feelings and Ena is the only one truly true to how she feels. She wears her heart on her sleeve in any situation and she just can’t lie to herself. This can make her seem like an unstable, toxic person with anger issues when worst comes to worse, but it’s also what makes her so compassionate for the things and people she loves and strong and pure. Ena hates this emotional aspect of herself. When Ena says she “hates that part of herself that desires attention” in Pale Color, it resonated with me for a lot of reasons. And I also think in this moment Ena was also including how she hates how emotional she is. She hates how emotional she can be and think it just gets in. the way of things. I don’t think it helps that both her brother and father are very very calm people and it’s so belittling when he berates her art in such a cold and apathetic tone. She thinks of herself as weak and pathetic for this side of hers…. But she refuses to repress it or herself.

And it’s partly because I think she just can’t bring herself to and it’s not in her nature. But I also think it’s connected to her art to some degree. Ena’s relationship to her art is very relatable to me and a lot of other artists and what I find so admirable about her is her desire to prove HERSELF and HER hard work. She could easily say she’s Niigo’s artist on her Instagram to get followers but she doesn’t want to because Ena wants to be seen for herself. Ena wants her and her art to be loved for what it is and she’s so desperate for that approval from others. She hates the word talent because it implies the idea that you either got it or don’t and that if she doesn’t have talent she’ll never be good enough for others. She’s determined to prove those who doubt her wrong.

Yes she’s messy, she’s not always the best person or says the best things, she’s hurt others, she’s been wrong, they’re times where she was so close to giving up. But it’s what makes her journey so powerful, she’s always her genuine raw self no matter what she’s feeling and even if those emotions are “ugly” her overall goal I can’t help but sympathize with because of just how much she cares about what she’s fighting for. I especially love how she treats her friends. She wasn’t great to Mafuyu at first and wasn’t always the best sister to Akito but she’s getting better and better. And she’s never a manipulative person. The way she stood up for Airi when they were in middle school was always admirable for me. She genuinely appreciates hard work and thinks no one should hide from who they really are. And I love how this is explored with her relationship with Mizuki. It her struggle to help her friend we see it explore her own journey to self improvement and accepting criticism for her actions on top of how unconditionally she’ll fight for those she cares about as the idea of Mizuki closing them self off and going far away from her upsets Ena dearly. Because her her mind, everyone should be allowed to be their true selves.

Thank you for reading, and once again happy birthday to this lovely girl

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Trust In Them

Prompts:

Merlin prompt! Merlin has trust issues and really isn't sure he can actually trust the knights. Thing is, the knights have all thought they've been friends with Merlin for years and years and thought Merlin would trust them with (almost) anything - augustwritessometimes 

I've been reading all your fics today and let me tell you it was all so WONDERFUL! You're literally amazing and like omg all your fics bring me so much joy

(im so sorry)

... Are you still accepting prompts? I know you just finished a lot of stories but I'm so excited to see your take on Arthur and the knights knowing that Dragoon the great is Merlin! Merlin thinks he can get away with anything cause no one knows who Dragoon truly is when in fact. Everyone knows who he truly is. Like Arthur purposelly not allowing Merlin to leave when Dragoon is needed, or maybe Gwaine keeps on commenting on how familiar Dragoon looks like idk i suck at ideas sjsjsj I'm a bit new to the fandom so sorry if I make mistakes!! 

And you dont have to do it, i dont want to come across as forcing or anything hehe :>

Thanks!! - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: Merlin’s got some trust issues, that’s about it

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic I don’t care

Word Count: 4652

Elyan thinks Merlin is one of the most creative men he’s ever met, Percival thinks he’s one of the strongest. Gwaine thinks Merlin is one of the bravest men he’s ever met, Leon thinks Merlin is one of the luckiest men he’s ever known. Lancelot thinks Merlin is one of the most compassionate men he’s ever known, Arthur thinks Merlin is the biggest idiot in the world.

Merlin thinks he's none of that.

Only one of them is incorrect.

  Elyan thinks Merlin is one of the most creative men he’s ever met, Percival thinks he’s one of the strongest. 

Certainly, being a sorcerer in Camelot is no mere feat, especially not one that is so close to the royal family. Uther’s mere presence is enough to send most sorcerers running for cover—or so they’ve been told—and the man’s stance on magic and the fear he seeds through the land is more than enough to make up for anything else. 

Hell, the tales of the Witchfinder and the terror he swept through the land were enough to make the both of them extremely glad they hadn’t served as knights during that time. 

How Merlin managed to not only survive, but to thwart the man rivals some of the best battle stories Percival’s heard, including those that Gwaine tells when he’s drunk. Yes, Merlin’s muttered half-admissions and the pieces they’re able to drag out of him when he lets them are more interesting and entertaining than whatever fantasies a drunk Gwaine can muster up. Yes, they tell him that to his face, too. 

Elyan half wonders if Merlin has a list of stories or excuses written down somewhere. After all, he didn’t get to be the blacksmith in town by memorizing everything. Muscle memory, sure, and getting used to a pattern of thinking, but there were lists and notes and his father’s hands at his and his sister’s sides. 

Merlin is alone. 

Mostly alone. 

From what Leon tells, he’s been able to spin lies effective enough to ensure most of the nobles don’t look twice at him. The servants adore him—no surprise there, to be honest—and no one ever suspects him of sorcery. Although there are moments where someone will point fingers at Merlin or corner him, and well, that’s what they’re there for. 

Arthur is particularly fond of the story where Merlin burst into the council chambers, screaming out a confession and he’d swept him up into his arms, assuring them that Merlin was just an idiot off his head, nothing to worry about. Merlin had glared at him after that but he hadn’t been carted off for treason. A win, then. 

Elyan shakes his head as he watches Merlin fumble an excuse as he ducks around one of the older sword masters. “That must be part of it, mustn’t it?”

“What, the bumbling act?” Percival crosses his arms. “Yes, I think so.”

“Make himself look like much less of a target, too innocent.”

“He’s a small man.”

“He really isn’t.”

“Is too. Weighs less than a tankard of mead, he does.” Percival nods toward Merlin’s skinny figure. “If he turned sideways, you’d mistake him for a broomstick.”

Elyan swats Percival’s shoulder. 

“What? It’s true. And it helps him. A man like that, most people won’t look twice at.”

“And that makes him strong?”

Percival huffs. “You know men. Most would crow out their own importance to the mountains and the seas if they could, just so the world would notice them. Merlin’s not like that. He lets himself get overlooked.”

“That makes him smart.”

“And strong. Not many men I know who have that strength in themselves.”

“What’re you two talking about?” Merlin stops in front of them, fiddling with the buckle. “Aren’t you supposed to be training?”

“We’re waiting for you,” Elyan says, “Arthur wants you with us.”

“I’m sure he does.” Merlin rolls his eyes and starts down the corridor. “Come on, then.”

Percival glances down as they turn the corner, smiling as he sees the soft click of the leather coming apart in Merlin’s hand. “You’re good at that.”

Merlin’s hands twitch. “Just…used to the work, I guess.”

He and Elyan exchange a smile over Merlin’s shoulders. Strong, smart, whichever it is, he’s Merlin. They’re happy to help him practice his excuses. 

2. 

Gwaine thinks Merlin is one of the bravest men he’s ever met. 

He’s not talking about running into harm’s way without a care in the world except for what you’re protecting behind you, even though Merlin does an excellent job of that too. He’s not talking about swigging from the cup you know is poisoned because it will keep another man from doing it, even though Merlin’s done that, what, three times now? And he’s not talking about jumping in front of a sword without hesitation, even though Merlin is giving them all heart attacks every time he does it despite them all knowing he’ll be fine. 

No. He’s talking about when you walk through a space where your very existence is enough to make you hated and feared, and holding your head up anyway. 

He’s not too proud to admit he doesn’t understand it. Why Merlin chooses to stay. When the halls ring and whisper with how awful magic is, how awful sorcerers are, and he knows that if anyone so much as suspects he’s a sorcerer, he’ll be dragged off to a pyre before he can blink.

But no matter how many times magic falls at the wrong end of Camelot’s blade, Merlin’s there. Without fail, he’s there with a quip and that smile that makes all of them want to make sure nothing awful ever befalls him. He stays next to Arthur’s side like he was born to be there, even as the hatred against magic seeps into the walls themselves. 

He doesn’t understand it. 

Gwaine is not a fool. He knows the look in people’s eyes when they decide they disagree with your existence. In all his travels, he’s been on the wrong end of some of those stares and on occasion, some of those blades. Those that spit at him in the streets for being who he is and run him out with the promise of burning forevermore if he dares continue on like this. He brushes them off his shoulders like dust from the road and travels on, to hopefully friendlier pastures. 

But he isn’t a sorcerer, he’s only a lover. 

Merlin, though? Merlin doesn’t run. He doesn’t shy away from the stares they give him, from the whispers he hears in the walls. He doesn’t do any of that. 

He stays. With a smile on his face and sure hands, he stays. 

That makes him the bravest of all of them. 

And sometimes, he just wants Merlin to know he’s not alone. 

Come on, Dragoon? Really? That’s just ‘dragon’ with an extra ‘o.’ And sure, maybe it’s subtle enough to fly over the heads of the truly unobservant—hello, Uther Pendragon, may he rest in peril—but not enough for the knights. So maybe he makes a few jokes about Dragoon looking familiar, or his voice sounding like a friend’s, or something, just so Merlin knows it’s okay. 

That even the bravest should feel no shame in reaching out every once in a while.

3. 

Leon thinks Merlin is one of the luckiest men he’s ever known. 

Is the man a sorcerer? Yes. Does he possess enough power to overthrow all of Camelot should he see fit? Most likely. Is he one of the most charismatic men Leon’s ever heard speak? When he wants to be, yes, he could persuade the world. 

Is he also one of the stupidest, risk-taking bastards Leon’s ever had to protect? 

You have no idea. 

Merlin is a sorcerer. You would think, then, that Merlin would understand that since he is in Camelot, a kingdom that is notorious for being unsafe for sorcerers, that he would do his best to keep that quiet. You know, not casting magic in the middle of the day, in the open, in the training fields with everyone around and not just the knights he knows and trusts, on the Crown Prince himself. 

If you’re wondering why that sounds like a very pointed, specific example, it’s because it is. 

Four times. 

Four. 

Each time, Leon has to remind himself that bashing his head against his helmet in these types of situations is counterproductive, because at least one of them has to retain some semblance of common sense. Each time, though, the temptation gets a little stronger. He’s managed to resist…so far. 

That’s not to say that Merlin doesn’t have his moments of brilliance. And sure, perhaps there are more things to a man than his intelligence, but the luck sometimes of what he can get away with makes Leon think that if all of Camelot were blessed so, there would be an everlasting harvest and peace for all eternity. 

And that’s certainly not going to happen. 

And sometimes still, there are moments where Merlin’s luck makes Leon’s breath catch in his throat. 

“You, boy,” one of the visiting nobles snarls, “I saw you with my sword earlier. And now its balance is all off. What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Merlin says stubbornly, because he’s right and he’s done nothing, but the noble doesn’t think so, “I haven’t touched your sword.”

The noble snarls and thrusts it at him. Leon steps forward, his hand on his own blade. 

“I don’t believe you, boy,” the noble says in a low, dangerous voice, “and I think it’s high time someone taught you a lesson.”

The light glints off the blade and Leon moves, ready to intercept, to call for the noble to stop—

“That’s not your sword!”

Merlin’s cry makes both men freeze, Leon’s eyes fixed on the two in front of him as the noble slowly withdraws the blade. Merlin’s breaths still ring a bit heavy as the man examines the pommel of the sword. 

“It’s not yours,” Merlin repeats, quieter, pointing at the hilt, “see? It’s one of the training swords.”

The noble glares at him. “You got lucky, boy.”

“…yes, sire.”

The noble stomps away as Leon breathes a sigh of relief, coming up and resting a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “Are you alright, my friend?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Merlin gives himself a little shake. “Lucky he picked up the wrong sword, right?”

“Yes,” Leon says with a soft smile, “lucky, indeed.”

4. 

Lancelot thinks Merlin is one of the most compassionate men he’s ever known. 

He sees it in the way Merlin offers up the last of his food to a pair of children hiding in the shadows. They’re on their way back from the town, Gwaine’s drunken voice still chorusing loudly behind them. Lancelot pulls his cloak a little closer around his shoulders, opening one arm to offer some of the warmth to Merlin. Merlin shakes him off, saying he’s fine, it’s not that far a walk, when something stops them. He pauses, his hands still on the basket he’s to bring back to Gaius. Lancelot asks him if something’s wrong and he shakes his head, turning to spot the pair staring out at him. He hands over the basket and instructs them to keep warm, not noticing Lancelot’s soft smile. 

He sees it in the way Merlin patches up one of the squires after a particularly nasty training day. The squire yelps when a staff connects with a rough part of his armor, digging into his arm until he bleeds. The others laugh at him, call him a child, a puppy, and don’t acknowledge the harm they’ve done as they go back inside. Merlin helps the man to a bench, quietly directing him until he can get at the wound, tending to it with the skill of a physician and the care of a brother. He dries the squire’s tears and makes him smile as Lancelot keeps the others away. 

He sees it in the way Merlin sits by Arthur’s side in the council rooms. The council is old, used to Uther Pendragon, and not at all accustomed to new ideas and practices when someone younger brings them in. Arthur is stern, steadfast, and sits in his authority as someone who should. He is the focal point in the room, someone who is to be respected and honored when he speaks. And Merlin supports him by not saying a word. It can go unspoken, sometimes, as it should, how important silence can be as a way of showing solidarity. Arthur blossoms in the council room with Merlin by his side as Lancelot and the knights watch. 

And so, Lancelot wants to make sure Merlin never has to serve from an empty cup. 

When Merlin’s hands shake as he tries to carry the entire weight of the knights’ armor by himself, Lancelot is always there to swoop in by his side. He takes the heaviest of Merlin’s had without protest, shushing Merlin’s objections and laughing with him all the way to the armory. He tries to time it as best he can so Merlin delivers the punchline just as they walk in to see the others, grinning as Gwaine immediately takes him up on it, and soon the whole room is laughing with them. 

When Merlin is threatened by a noble or lord that’s gotten too big for his britches, he’s there to shove them aside and insist that Merlin has places to be, thank you very much, he’s needed away from you and your nastiness. He lets his cloak flare wide enough to cover the hallway and dissuade anyone from following him, just in case Merlin wants to grab his hand under the cover of red fabric. When Merlin does just that, wrapping his fingers carefully through Lancelot’s gloved ones, he squeezes as reassuringly as he can. 

When Merlin’s very existence is threatened by the anti-magic sentiments that occasionally sweep the castle, he’s there. He’s always there. He takes Merlin to Gaius’s chambers by claiming his assistance is needed and ushers him into the safety of his own room. He sits Merlin down on his little bed and carefully takes off his cloak, wrapping him in the warm fabric and removing the worst of his armor. If Merlin lets him, he wraps his arms around the poor man too and lets him cry his fear into his chest. 

Merlin is always there for the world, and so Lancelot will always be there for Merlin.

5. 

Arthur thinks Merlin is the biggest idiot he’s ever met. 

“Are you sure it’s this way?” Gwaine ducks around a tree branch. “We won’t be able to ride much further at this rate.”

“This is where Gaius said to come,” Merlin replies, deftly dodging a tree branch of his own. 

“And is Gaius sure it’s this way,” Arthur says, putting enough emphasis on the name that the knights snicker, “or are you both following some blind lead?”

“It’s this way.”

Arthur rolls his eyes. At some point, he hopes Merlin knows that he won’t be harmed if he doesn’t drag them all out of the castle on some strange mission to the middle of nowhere and instead just decides to tell them what they need to know in the safety of Arthur’s chambers. It’s not as if they need to make this more dramatic, even if it is nice to get out of a cursed Camelot every now and then. 

The thin tree branch that smacks him across the face certainly does make him reevaluate that, however. 

“It’s not much farther,” Merlin calls, “we’re almost there.”

“I hope so,” Elyan grumbles, “I can’t feel my legs anymore.”

“Maybe that’s a sigh you should ride more often.”

“I don’t need riding advice from you, Gwaine.”

“Oh, now you’ve done it—“

“On the contrary,” Gwaine says, drawing himself up and giving Elyan his best tavern wink, “I think everyone needs a little of my riding advice.”

As the groans go up through the trees, Arthur rides up next to Merlin. 

“How much longer,” he asks softly, “are you going to subject the rest of us to Gwaine’s awful jokes?”

“There.” Merlin points to a clearing up ahead. “That’s where it is.”

“Oh, thank god.”

The horses whinny and stamp as they get out of the worst of the woods, as thankful as their riders to be free of pesky branches and brambles. Gwaine shakes off his cloak as Percival squints at the ramshackle old shed. 

“Is that really where he lives?”

“This is the place.” Merlin glances at Arthur. “Don’t you recognize it?”

“Vaguely.”

Merlin rolls his eyes and gets down. “Wait here. I’m sure he’ll be along soon.”

“‘Sure he’ll be along soon,’” Arthur hears Leon mutter under his breath, “my arse.”

If only people knew what the Most Honorable Knight in Camelot actually sounded like. 

“Where’re you off to,” Lancelot calls as the rest of them dismount and tie up the horses, “aren’t you waiting with us?”

“Uh—“ Merlin twitches— “I have to pee.”

“You went not ten minutes ago.”

“Well, I’ve got to go again.” He starts edging out of the way. “So, unless you want to come and watch…”

“I’ll come.”

“That was a joke, Gwaine.”

“And there’s a dangerous sorcerer who supposedly lives around here,” he says, undaunted, “I’m coming with you.”

“Me too,” Percival agrees, “I need a leak.”

“Then it’s sorted!”

Arthur watches as the three of them head off into the trees. He shakes his head. 

“Do you think this’ll be the day,” Leon murmurs and Lancelot comes over to join them, “the day he finally drops it?”

“I doubt it.”

Leon sighs. “So do I.”

“He must know,” Lancelot says quietly, “mustn’t he? That we’ll protect him?”

“I don’t know anymore.”

Eventually, the three of them return, Merlin still hovering uncomfortably far away from them. Arthur holds his arm out. 

“Come here, Merlin.”

“What? Why?”

“Like Gwaine said, dangerous sorcerer. Can’t protect you if you’re all the way over there.”

Merlin grumbles but does as he’s told, coming to stand in the middle of the knights as they all stare at the shed. 

“You said he’ll be here soon.”

Merlin shuffles. “Yeah.”

“Alright then.”

They wait. 

And wait.

And wait. 

“Maybe he’s out for the day,” Elyan suggests. 

“Gathering supplies?”

“Or food.”

Gwaine shrugs. “Maybe he’s at the tavern.”

Arthur feels Merlin grow completely still. 

“You know, I think I’ve seen him there before. Always did say he looked familiar.”

“He sounded familiar too,” Lancelot agrees, “something about him I always recognized.”

Merlin begins to tremble. 

“I think his eyes are the most memorable part of him,” Arthur can’t resist pushing, “I’ve seen them somewhere before.”

 Merlin’s head whips around to look at him. “A-Arthur—?”

“There,” Arthur says quietly, touching Merlin under the chin, “there they are.”

Like he said. Foolish man. 

+1.

Merlin has never been more terrified in his life. 

Arthur knows. Arthur knows. 

And now the knights know. The knights know and they’re Camelot’s knights and Camelot hates magic and Arthur is the ruler of Camelot and they’re here with him and Arthur knows and—and—

What is he going to have to do? He’s going to—does he let them kill him? He swore to serve Arthur until his dying day, he’s—if Arthur decides that day is here, that he dies here at the point of his sword, does he die? 

Arthur holds his loyalty, his magic, he always has. If Arthur says he dies, he dies. 

But he’s not ready to die. He doesn’t want to die, not when Arthur still needs help to be the Once and Future King, not when there are still so many snakes that surround him. He’s not ready for the knights’ eyes to burn black with hatred as they put him down like some rabid dog. He’s not ready to never see Arthur smile again. 

He doesn’t want to die. 

“Oh, Merlin,” he hears distantly, “come here, you petticoat.”

Arms. Arms around him. Is this how he dies?

“You’re not dying,” the voice says again, still soft and sweet in his ear, “relax, you fool, no one’s going to hurt you.”

Yes. Yes, they are. He’s betrayed them and he’s lied and he’s awful and he deserves to die but he doesn’t want to die—

“Shh, sweetheart,” the voice croons, warmth brushing his face, “that’s enough, now. You need to breathe.”

Breathing? Breathing isn’t dying. 

“That’s right, sweetheart, it isn’t. Come on, now, breathe.”

Merlin tries. Breathing is hard. Breathing does hurt, even when the voice assures him that it’s alright, that he’s supposed to breathe, something warm rubbing his chest to try and help. 

“Oh, you poor thing,” another voice murmurs as his legs collapse, “that’s it, lie down. We have you.”

He blinks. Something ginger flutters across his field of vision for a moment. Is that Leon? 

“Yes, Merlin, it’s me.”

“How come he recognizes you first?”

“He can see me, sire, he can’t see you.”

“Lancelot, come take his head. Make sure he can still breathe.”

“Merlin,” another voice says, as soft and sweet as the others, “stay with us, Merlin.”

Golden hair, golden son, red lips, red cheeks. 

Arthur.

“A-Arthur—“

“Shh,” the voice says, Arthur says, “don’t try and talk right now, sweetheart. You’re panicking, it’s going to hurt. You need to calm down first.”

Arthur wants him to calm down. He can try and calm down. 

“That’s right,” Arthur soothes, the warmth still on his chest, “calm down, that’s it. You’re doing well.”

“Lift your head,” Lancelot bids carefully, sliding something soft underneath, “there, that’s better.”

“Let me,” Leon says, shuffling closer to fit something to his mouth, “drink. It’ll help.”

Merlin swallows once, twice, three times. He blinks, coughs, and stares up. 

Arthur stares back at him, concern written all over his features. When Merlin finally makes eye contact, it fades into a quiet smile. 

“Hello, Merlin,” he says in a low voice, “welcome back.”

“What…what happened?”

“You had a panic attack,” Leon says, still as quiet, “it took a while to calm you back down.”

“Oh.”

“Is he alright?”

“Is that Gwaine?”

“And Elyan and Percival,” Arthur says, “keeping watch.”

“W-watch?”

“Well, he says, smile turning the softest bit teasing, “there’s a sorcerer around here, isn’t there?”

And just like that, Merlin’s eyes widen as his chest clenches. “A-Arthur—“

“Shh, shh, sweetheart,” Arthur soothes immediately—what?— “I’m not angry, no one’s angry. No one’s going to hurt you. You’re alright. You’re safe.”

It takes a long time for them all to assure Merlin that yes, he’s safe, no, they’re not going to kill him, and yes, they knew he was a sorcerer.

“I didn’t tell a soul,” Lancelot promises, “they just…knew.”

Gwaine and Elyan put up a little bit of a stink about Merlin not telling them, and Leon simply rolls his eyes and says in his kind way that Merlin should be better at hiding it, but Arthur just shakes his head and rests his forehead against Merlin’s. 

“You’re my Merlin,” he says softly, “of course I knew. And no, I don’t care.”

Merlin is going to need a few more moments to process this, please. 

“Take all the time you need,” Lancelot encourages, running his hand through Merlin’s hair, “we can wait.”

Arthur wraps his hand through Merlin’s as the knights settle on the floor. 

“So, wait, when did you lot figure it out?”

“The troll.”

“The bandit fight where one of their spears just impaled them out of nowhere.”

“When I walked past Gaius screaming about how you need to keep your magic a secret with the door wide open in the middle of the day.”

Leon rolls his eyes. “The foolish apple does not fall far from the foolish tree.”

“Come on,” Lancelot urges, hands under Merlin’s shoulders, “let’s get you inside, it’s no good baking in this heat.”

Merlin is still trying to catch up with what’s happening, thank you very much. Arthur looks down, rolling his eyes—fondly?—and wraps an arm under Merlin’s neck. 

“Come on, you clotpole—“ that was meant to be an insulting word, you prat, not a pet name— “let’s get you inside.”

He carries Merlin into the shed as the knights follow. Percival whips off his cloak and lays it over the worn straw mattress and wooden slats. “Here.”

“Thank you.” Arthur lays him down, taking Lancelot’s balled-up cloak and putting it under his head. “I don’t suppose you thought ahead enough to make sure there was food in this house, did you?”

“Uh,” is Merlin’s eloquent response. 

“Here,” Gwaine says suddenly, offering a canteen and a piece of dried meat, “this’ll do.”

Merlin fumbles for the items. 

They’re…they’re not mad? They’re not—but he—

“Merlin,” Arthur’s voice says firmly, “drink.”

He drinks. 

“Good. Now eat. You’ve gotten skinnier these past few weeks.”

“Been busy,” he mumbles around the meat, “other things t’ worry ‘bout.”

Elyan snorts. “I’ll say. We’ve had more sorcerers trying to give you a run for your money.”

Merlin chokes on the meat. 

“What he means,” Leon says, smacking Elyan’s arm, “is that you’ve been trying to fight a war as a single man, Merlin. That’s enough to make anyone tired.”

“And you’ve not exactly given yourself a break,” Lancelot adds. 

“Not that Princess here has been helpful.”

“Oi!”

“He’s not wrong, sire.”

“That’s treason, Leon.”

Leon just meets his gaze unflinching. “So dismiss me.”

Arthur glares at him for a moment longer before he rolls his eyes. “You lot are more loyal to Merlin than you are to me, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Eh.”

“He’s a good man.”

“In some ways, sire.”

Leon just shrugs. “You’re a package deal, Arthur. We don’t get one without the other.”

“I suppose you’re right, I—“ Arthur cuts himself off when he notices the tears rolling down Merlin’s face— “Merlin?”

Warm hands on his face a moment later, brushing the tears from his cheeks. 

“Hey, hey,” Arthur says, voice warm and soft, tenderly cupping Merlin’s head in his hands, “what’s the matter, sweetheart?”

“I’m sorry,” is all he can babble, “I’m—I’m sorry—“

“Shh, shh, I’m not mad. Look at me, I’m not mad, am I?”

“B-but—“

“Hush,” Arthur murmurs, tucking Merlin’s hair behind his ears, “I’m not mad. No, no—don’t argue with me. I’m not mad. Neither are the knights.”

Someone makes a noise and is promptly shushed by everyone else. 

“But I’m a sorcerer,” Merlin protests, his throat screaming at him to try and keep the words inside, “I—I—“

“Yes, you are, and you’re Merlin.” Arthur smiles and lightly tugs his hair. “Which means we don’t care.”

Merlin’s eyes widen and his mouth goes slack. 

“I think you broke him,” Lancelot murmurs. 

“Merlin? Merlin?”

“Y-you don’t?”

“Well, this isn’t exactly how we pictured you finally admitting it to all of us,” Gwaine remarks wryly, “but no, Merlin. None of us care.”

“Now—oh. Oh, dear,” Arthur mumbles as Merlin bursts into tears, properly, “oh, alright, come here, you big softy.”

It’s alright, young warlock, something whispers as arms wrap around him, this is your destiny. 

[a-few-of-my-favorite-mangas]

I Swear I Won’t Bother You Again!

今度は絶対に邪魔しませんっ! | Kondo wa Zettai ni Jama Shimasen  

Story by Reina Soratani

Art by Haru Harukawa

Light Novel Volume 2

Shoujo, Historical Setting, Fantasy, Do Over Time Skip, Romance

Story  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆  ||  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆  Art

Summary

Violette, the duke's daughter, was imprisoned for an unforgivable crime--but she gains a miraculous second chance when she awakens in her own past, a year before her sentencing! This time, she swears not to make a single misstep: she'll live quietly and unobtrusively so no one gets hurt. Although the restrictive bonds of House Vahan keep Violette tethered, her childhood friend Yulan and her maid Marin are there to support her...as well as an unlikely ally who crosses her path.

Review

I really enjoyed Vol. 01 Been waiting for this volume to come out for a long while now and it was a rather disappointment, nothing much happens in the plot, it is just a lot of inner monologues and it is depressing, we have very little forward progress. It feels really repetitive with the ‘whoa is me’ dialog and musings on how horrible her situation is, how horrible her father is (no progress there, if anything it got worse), no progress with Maryjune (which is disappointing as she is still so dense - I really don’t like ‘smart’ but also dense/obtuse characters, they are ‘smart’ so they should be thinkers, hell overthinkers - that is how ‘smart’ people are, we analyze!!), how good Yulan is to her (he gets even more obsessed, where was this person pre-time skip?), the rest of the characters are there, but I don’t feel like we got to know them better. 

I really liked book one and what the projected direction the story would move in, but this one made me question where all this is going, we get reports on grades and other nonsense info (don’t really care about the ‘school’ aspects of this story, it feels silly). Use the school as an excuse for these characters to interact, not tell us about how they study and study and their grades on exams, it is all generic, what they are studying isn’t even relevant to the story.

I want more progress with MaryJune, I want to like the character, but it is hard when she is blissfully happy while Violet is so miserable all the time and she doesn’t seem to notice, let alone do anything about it. Yulan is so ‘in love’ and devoted that it is starting to feel unhealthy, I liked him in book 1 and he felt like a potential love interest, certainly Violet appreciated him more, but he isn’t likable outside of his interactions with Violet... if this was purposeful as a setup to a toxic relationship it might work, but I don’t get the feeling that the author wants us to be wary of his behavior, but more like he is her devoted champion. I wish we got a lot more about his history with his half-brother and why he really hates him so much, it seems beyond normal - and since the prince seem contrite and compassionate towards him and wants to make amends, I can’t help but feel like the author does want to repair their relationship eventually.  

Maybe all of this is going to payoff eventually, but this feels like it fell into the light novel problem of being an interesting premise, but the author/editors are not really professional enough to tell a well paced, well thought out story, and comes across more like webnovel / fanfiction of an amateur writer just writing what they want without focus or an understanding of story structure and pacing, and an editor that understands what needs to be cut because it isn’t needed to tell the story. Unfortunately, this is an issue with light novels, I know these all start off as webnovels by amateur writers, but once a publisher decides to option it, that is when the ‘professionals’ should come in and work with the amateur writer and polish the work so that it is shaped into a proper story.  I can forgive these issues when it is on the web, but once I actually have to pay for the work... I want a professional eye to shape the creative ideas into a polished story. So far the mangas have done a better job of telling this story as they are able to cut the fat and focus on a well paced story.

I feel like I may have been overly harsh, but I was really anticipating this volume and it was tedious to get though and a real let down, I like the idea of making a huge mistake and getting a do over where you can self reflect and do it better and change your destiny is great, I like Tearmoon which does something similar, but I was hoping this would be a little more ‘mature’ in tone. But where Violet started off more proactive and determined in the first volume, here she is so self-deprecating and miserable that I often wonder why she doesn’t just run away and start a new life anywhere else. I get that she feel powerless, but I would also like her to be more proactive in her fate - tell Yulan, tell Marin, tell Maryjune, tell someone and ask for help or at the very least how she really feels. She got a DO-OVER, a literal MIRACLE, and it feels like she is wasting it feeling sorry for herself.

I will give it one more LN volume, but if the next is as disappointing... well, I guess it just wasn’t the story I was hoping to get.

[funkymbtifiction]

I need your outlook on this, i came across something where it was discussed that trifix 269(in any order) can act with saviour complex or say coddle, enable rather than respect and help empower a person in need or who asked for support. I'm not sure of my tritype, but i did the same esp as a teenager felt the need to protect people and didn't assess the harm this mentality can cause. Also with my friend, i would engage myself, insert myself to talk to my friend's parents for my friend when there was miscommunication because of biases, emotional issues. I realise i shouldn't have done this. As i wasn't objective and mature enough to be in such a place.

I feel really cringey about this saviour mentality and wanted to ask whether you ever did something like this and how you've learnt to know the difference between caring, protecting vs saving, fixing. (For me it wasn't about entitlement, it felt like sudden rush, need to sort it out, to balance it, to take action, a responsibility as a friend to help sort it out.

I've seen two sorts of people, I'm giving a very vague example..that of princess Diana and of Catherine Middleton, who engage with children differently. The former (it's said she's a type 6,2,9) in a way where she would touch the child, protect them, hold them close and near. While Catherine Middleton (what's her type?..1perhaos in trifix) lets the child hold their autonomy to trust or to choose to engage or not engage with her. Say like letting the child feel independent and confident as an individual. I know both are very kind, compassionate, loving people and both such ways are needed for every child. With many recent research, the latter's approach is what is very helpful for healthy children to learn to be self reliant, self trusting independent adults.

I want to learn this, though naturally protecting kind of energy comes off and i feel really cringey esp in the society where women are expected or liked for such but judges others who are not and i don't wish to create a box, a type and betray or be different from other women.

P.s. (i read your piece on New year's resolution and oh dear i need to learn the same thing. To take action, whether i feel it or not. Best of luck for your book, and strong will/energy to you to keep going!)

My advice would be more helpful if you were aware of your core (are you assuming you are a 2 or a 6?), since then I would know what angle to come from in order to explain things to you. But you asked if I ever did this and how I learned to know the difference between caring or protecting, vs.  saving or fixing, so I’ll start there.

As a 6, who comes from the super-ego center, I automatically assume that problems are mine to fix, because of the super-ego telling me that “should” be a “good person” and attend to things that are happening in front of me. This has caused me to be interfering in the past, yes, because I assumed that if people told me things, it was my job to help them. I had to read Suzanne Stabile’s book on healing through your core number to realize that it’s optional whether I get involved or not, and that I need to ask myself, “Is this mine to do?”

A friend tells me her daughter is struggling to understand her 6 boyfriend… is this mine to explain? Or is it none of my business?

A friend can’t get out of her driveway… is it mine to do, or is that her responsibility?

Rather than wear myself out, or get distracted by everyone else’s agenda and needs, I can make decisions about what’s mine and what’s not, which allows me to maintain better boundaries. Being asked for help is different from assuming you should be helping. Being asked for help means someone saying, “I don’t understand why this 6 is acting like this… can you shed any light on it?” Being asked for help is, “I need to get out of my driveway; can you help me?”

Something to think about, in terms of deciding whether to volunteer your help or not, is whether your helpfulness is actually patronizing or in any way implying to that person that they can’t do it themselves, and how that might make them feel. You can also just… ask. “Do you want me to clean out your gutter for you?” “Do you want me to pick you up at the airport?” “Do you want me to talk to them for you?”

I also find it useful to just ask them what they want from this conversation – to find some way of finding out, “Why are you telling me this?” “Do you want me to help you brainstorm?” “What do you need from me today, encouragement or ideas about a solution?” Sometimes people don’t want your help, they just need to vent.

If you are a 2, there’s a lot of pride wrapped up in being needed that extends to you not needing them. The teacher or the giver or the fixer is “higher” than the person you are giving to, or fixing, or leading to “water.” The fact that you realize you overstepped and were “cringe” sometimes is a good first step, because now you have a better sense of what is and isn’t yours to do. 2s are also super-ego types, so they, like the 6, need to ask, “Is this mine to do?” Not everything is, so decide what IS yours to do (family, relationships), and allow others to care for themselves.

In dealing with children – comfort them and love them, but one way to be extremely helpful in a useful way is to teach them self-reliance by asking, “What do you think you can do about it?” Or “What do you want to do about it?” 2s can struggle with creating independency in their loved ones, out of the mistaken assumption that independence means loss of love and feeling needed. But true love is not “needed,” it is when you both do not “need” each other, but “choose” each other because you like each other. You don’t need to give to get people to like you, they will often like you regardless. And in some cases, they will like you even more if you “stay in your lane” and don’t tweak their life for them.