#they deserve a whole new analysis lol

[persephoneflouwers]

Angels fly, BUT ALL THE LINES ARE PSYCHOLOGICAL/PHILOSOPHICAL APPROACHES

If every star is an eye in the sky, You'll see angels fly

This curious post was born because the first time I listened to this song I remembered the anecdote a certain Plato tells in his books: Tales the philosopher used to fall on the ground because he spent so much time looking at the sky and studying it instead of watching where he was going. This was the beginning of the proverbial “having the head in the clouds” and worked to stereotype philosophers as the distracted clumsy always in their own world kinda people. It was only later at night that this super-weird post was written. I had fun ngl!

Nothing really matters, nothing really hurts

Moderate existential Nihilism, according to which life is without intrinsic value, meaning, or purpose. Kinda surprising coming from Louis (!!!) but that should say a lot about the album from the title straight to the last note of the last song. Ah! Louis, Louis.

We can't talk about it, It'll only make it worse. There's a time for saying who did what, Where it went wrong

Critique of practical reason: now you can believe it or not but the closure to this book is literally “two things fill my mind with ever increasing wonder and awe: the starry heaven above me and the moral law within me.” And only that is a reason to gasp! The mention of sky and stars AND what’s right and wrong in the same sentence? Wild! Anyway it’s a lot, but it’s quite fun to find these references. I guess Kant would be at least intrigued by the line “there’s time for saying where it we t wrong”… both the concept of time (read below) and the inevitability of making mistakes in humans agenda make this verse a splendid gem in my eyes.

I wanna hear all that, but right now All I need you to know is You'll be okay, we can talk tomorrow + One single word, it could wait till the morning

Apology of emotional procrastination: this is what I just made up because I own procrastination as a lifestyle. In a way, he’s trying to prioritise the moments and even though talking is actually a good way to learn and grow, it is also something he can postpone.

I'm on my way with some time to borrow + I'll knock on your door, it'll save me from calling

Authenticity of time: I could genuinely write en entire essay on the concept of Time in Louis’ songwriting and in Philosophy. They all wondered what time is, how we perceive it, what we can do with it. I could give you just a few names (Aristoteles, Eistein, Hegel, Nietzsche), but my favourite one will be Bergson. He talked about the interior time, non-dividable and non-ripeatable, stocked in our conscience, in which the various moments interpenetrate each other without interruption.

Look at the horizon, Just to make you feel small?

Subversion of metaphysical solipsism: big words, strong words even. But he’s basically saying the world is bigger than me (lol) and you’re not in this alone. You don’t exist on your own. It’s cool, but also sort of an impasse bc yeah world has bigger problems, but that doesn’t mean you can’t struggle for your own shit yk?

Put the pain in my heart till now, You don't need anymore

A simple Epicurean philosophy 🎶: aponia!! and ataraxia!! We going deep lol You don’t need the pain duh put it away now. He’s so cute tho to store the pain in his heart and make it easier for the other person, but it’s an interesting take as obvious as it sounds. You can’t the pain along with you if you want to heal. Easier to say than to be done.

[bowtiepastabitch]

Historical Analysis: class and injustice in 'The Ressurrectionists' minisode

Alternate title: why we're tempted to be upset with Aziraphale and why that's only halfway fair

Okay so first off huge thanks to @makewayforbigcrossducks for asking the question (and follow-up questions lol) that brought me to put these thoughts all together into a little history nerd ramble. That question being, Why is Aziraphale so clueless? Obviously, from a plot perspective, we know we need to learn some lessons about human moral dilemmas and injustices. But from a character perspective? A lot of this minisode is about Aziraphale being forced to confront the flaws of heavenly logic. This whole idea that "poverty is ineffable" basically boils down to 'yeah some people are poor, but their souls can be saved just as if not more easily that way, so it's not our problem and they probably deserve it anyway for not working hard enough,' a perspective that persists in many modern religious circles. Aziraphale isn't looking at the human factor here, he's pretty much purely concerned about the dichotomy of good and wicked human behavior and the spiritual consequences thereof, because that's what he's been told to believe. His whole goal is to "show her the error of her ways." He believes, quite wholeheartedly, that he's helping her in the long run.

"the lower you start, the more opportunities you have"

So here's what we're asking ourselves: Why did it take him so bloody long to realize how stupid that is? Sure, he's willing to excuse all kinds of things in the name of ineffability, but if someone in the year of our lord 2023 told me he was just now realizing that homelessness was bad after experiencing the past two centuries, I'd be resisting the urge to get violent even if he WAS played by Michael Sheen.

Historical context: a new type of poverty

Prior to the 19th century (1800s), poverty was a very different animal from what we deal with now. The lowest classes went through a dynamic change leading up to the industrial revolution, with proto-industrialization already moving people into more manufacture-focused tasks and rapid urbanization as a result of increasingly unlivable conditions for rural peasantry. The enclosure of common lands and tennancies by wealthy landowners for the more profitable sheep raising displaced lots of families, and in combination with poor harvests and rising rents, many people were driven to cities to seek out new ways of eeking out a living.

Before this, your ability to eat largely would have depended on the harvest in your local area. This can, for our purposes, be read as: you're really only a miracle away from being able to survive the winter. Juxtapose this, then, with the relatively new conundrum of an unhoused urban poor population. Now if you want to eat, you need money itself, no exceptions, unless you want to steal food. Charity at the time was often just as much harm as good, nearly always tied deeply up in religious attitudes and a stronger desire to proselytize than improve quality of lie. As a young woman, finding work in a city is going to be incredibly difficult, especially if you're not clean and proper enough to present as a housemaid or other service laborer. As such, Elspeth turns to body snatching to try to make a better life for herself and Wee Morag. She's out of options and she knows it.

You know who doesn't know that? Aziraphale.

The rise of capitalism

The biggest piece of the puzzle which Aziraphale is missing here is that he hasn't quite caught onto the concept of capitalism yet. To him, human professions are just silly little tasks, and she should be able to support herself if she just tried. Bookselling, weaving, farming, these are all just things humans do, in his mind. He suggests these things as options because it hasn't occurred to him yet that Elspeth is doing this out of desperation, but he also just doesn't grasp the concept of capital. Crowley does, he thinks it's hilarious, but Aziraphale is just confused as to why these occupations aren't genuine options. Farming in particular, as briefly touched on above, was formerly carried out largely on common land, tennancies, or on family plots, and land-as-capital is an emerging concept in this period of time (previously, landowners acted more like local lords than modern landlords). Aziraphale just isn't picking up on the fact that money itself is the root issue.

Even when he realizes that he fucked up by soup-ifying the corpse, he doesn't offer to give them money but rather to help dig up another body. He still isn't processing the systemic issues at play (poverty) merely what's been immediately presented to him (corpses), and this is, from my perspective, half a result of his tunnel-vision on morality and half of his inability to process this new mode of human suffering.

Half a conclusion and other thoughts

So we bring ourselves back around to the question of Aziraphale's cluelessness. Aziraphale is, as an individual, consistently behind on the times. He likes doing things a certain way and rarely changes his methodology unless someone forces his hand. Even with the best intentions, his ability to help in this minisode is hindered by two points: 1)his continued adherance to heavenly dogma 2)his inability to process the changing nature of human society. His strongest desire at any point is to ensure that good is carried out, an objective good as defined by heavenly values, and while I think it's one of his biggest character hangups, I also can't totally blame him for clinging to the only identity given to him or for worrying about something that is, as an ethereal being, a very real concern. Unfortunately, he also lacks an understanding of the actual human needs that present themselves. Where Elspeth knows that what she needs is money, Aziraphale doesn't seem to process that money is the only solution to the immediate problem. This is in part probably because a century prior the needs of the poor were much simpler, and thus miraculous assistance would never have interfered with 'the virtues of poverty'. (You can make someone's crops grow, and they'll eat well, but giving someone money actually changes their economic status.) Thus, his actions in this episode illustrate the intersection of heavenly guidelines with a weak understanding of modern structures.

This especially makes sense with his response to being told to give her money. Our angel is many things, but I would never peg him as having any attachment to his money. He's not hesitant because he doesn't want to part with it, he's hesitant because he's still scared it's the wrong thing to do in this scenario. He really is trying to be good and helpful. So yes, we're justifiably pretty miffed to see him so blatantly unaware and damaging. He definitely holds a lot of responsibility for the genuine tragedy of this minisode, and I think Crowley pointing out that it's 'different when you knew them' is an extremely important moment for Aziraphale's relationship with humanity. Up until now, he's done a pretty good job insulating himself from the capacity of humans for nastiness, his seeming naivity at the Bastille being case in point.

In the end, I think Aziraphale's role in this minisode is incredibly complex, especially within its historical context. He's obstinate and clueless but also deeply concerned with spiritual wellbeing (which is, to Aziraphale, simply wellbeing) and doing the right thing to be helpful. While it's easy to allow tiny Crowley (my beloved) to eclipse the tragic nature and moral complexity of this minisode, I think in the end it's just as important to long-term character development as 'A Companion to Owls'. We saw him make the right choice with Job's children, and now we see him make the wrong choice. And that's a thing people do sometimes, a thing humans do.

~~~

also tagging @ineffabildaddy, @kimberellaroo, and @raining-stars-somewhere-else whose comments on the original post were invaluable in helping me organize my thoughts and feelings about this topic. They also provided great insight that, in my opinion, is worth going and reading for yourself, even if it didn't factor into my final analysis/judgement.

If I missed anything or you have additional thoughts, please please share!!! <3

[sapphire-weapon]

What's your take on Leon being misogynistic in RE4R? I've seen quite a few folks really heavily insisting that he's very much misogynistic in the remake, and, like... Idk, I want to hear a second opinion from someone who's analysis and takes on the story are very much measured. I mean, yeah, in the original RE4? Very much a byproduct of the time. Even I thought it was funny when I played it back in the day, and now I cringe, lol

But, in the remake? This whole take is basically based off of your own observations of how jaded and petty he is with Ada, without any real logical explanation behind it. And also him being way more soft and forgiving to Krauser, who has done arguably way worse things than Ada. Is that misogyny??? I'm a cis woman myself, but I am very much confused on this take. Like, I just really want to hear a second opinion on this. And I'm not one to say that Leon is some perfect flawless guy btw, the man's an idiot and pretty stuck up, and I love him for that. I'm just genuinely unsure how seriously I should consider this way of interpreting his new dynamic with Ada.

lmao so funny story about that

I actually tried to have a conversation with the person who started that discourse and was blocked and labeled "uncool" for my take. So uh. That's here if you wanna read it.

And wow people really want to compare Krauser and Ada? Okay. Let's compare Krauser and Ada.

Krauser is a man who...

+ was Leon's dedicated trainer and mentor for four years

+ built Leon up from his absolute lowest point

+ believed in Leon when Leon didn't even believe in himself

+ was always there no matter how badly Leon failed

Ada is some chick that Leon knew for a maximum of six hours and betrayed him in the end.

Who deserves more of the benefit of the doubt, in Leon's eyes? Who deserves more compassion, more patience, more emotional effort?

Leon isn't an omniscient member of the audience. He's a character in a story with a limited perspective. He's not comparing Krauser's atrocities with Ada's actions. He's looking at a man who he trusted, believed in, and loved and a woman who screwed him over on the worst night of his life.

People in this fandom are so unserious I swear to god.

[inbarfink]

Okay, this is probably just me being Very Silly but… I think Roleswap AUs are a lot of fun, not just like… as a character design exercise thingy, but as a character exploration and analysis exercise… thingy.

Like, you know, it’s a game of ‘what would this character do if they were in that situation that this other character was in?’, ‘how much would change if those were the circumstances of this character’s life?’, ‘how much do you have to change about a character to make them work in this specific narrative role - and how much you just cannot change without making the character unrecognizable?’

So I’ve had a lot of fun playing around with my Adventure Time Roleswap AUs (you can get a better look at them with the AT Roleswap Tag on my blog). 

And I’ve been thinking if I could do a similar thing for Invader Zim - both because IZ has these clear Four Leads that you can swap around very neatly (actually much more than AT does lol) and… mostly because I’ve been going through yet another of my Literally Can’t Think of Anything but Invader Zim Phases and Roleswap AUs offer an exciting new opportunity to Rotate These Characters in My Head.

(For the sake of clarity, I’ll be using ‘the Alien’, ‘the Kid’, ‘the Robot’ and ‘the Sibling’ when referring to the Narrative Roles of Zim, Dib, GIR and Gaz respectively. So if I’m talking about a Dib-Zim Roleswap I’ll be talking about Zim-as-the-Kid and Dib-as-the-Alien. It might lead to weird turns-of-phrase later down the line, like Sibling!Dib when Dib is obviously always a sibling - but at least I hope it’ll be less clunky and more clear that way lol)

So, yeah, I had some Thoughts and Considerations about the idea of a Zim-Dib GIR-Gaz Roleswap, but all-in-all things fall into place pretty easily. Playing on Dib’s relatively-more-heroic role and his only-sane-man shtick by having him as a kinda Irken Rebel - he might still have the interest in magic and supernatural things that Mainstream Irken Science does not acknowledge, but mostly he’s seeing as ‘crazy’ for such ridiculous concepts as ‘conquering the galaxy just for the sake of it is Bad Actually’ and ‘maybe it’s kinda stupid to pick our leaders based entirely on how tall they are’ and ‘the Tallest are obviously blatantly figureheads and the Control Brains are running the show’. 

And to add insult to injury, it’s not just that his fellow Irkens don’t listen to his ideas - it’s that they don’t even have enough respect to treat him as an actual dangerous enemy of the state. Instead he’s seen as a crackpot and a joke. He’s basically constantly avoiding the obvious Existence Evaluation he deserves because the Tallests keep procrastinating it and pushing it back in favor of more ‘important things’. And, like, it’s not like Dib wants to be executed by the state for the crime of free thought… but it’ll be nice to know that he’s seen as a real threat. 

And of course while he’s better than most Irkens at the whole ‘Space Imperialism is Bad Actually’ thing, he still hasn’t unlearned all of the Irken propaganda about their own superiority (he’s got a Green Savior Complex basically) … and also he's got his own complex about his own superiority. Like, yeah, he’s infuriated by his people’s obsession with height because it’s a stupid illogical prejudice… but also specifically because it makes people disrespect him. When his two lazy and stupid smeethood bullies were made supreme leaders of the empire that was kinda the last straw for him.

Oh, in this AU the Tallests are basically the Same except their colors are switched. So now Red is the sillier and dumber one and Purple is the relatively more competent one. And on one hand Dib is the only Irken who seems to understand how thoroughly unfit to rule these two clowns are but he is also kinda obsessed with making them acknowledge his superiority even though he knows their opinion shouldn’t matter and thus making him the biggest clown of them all, in a way.

I’m still ironing out the details of how he gets to Earth. Something about using his hacking skills to infiltrate Operation Impending Doom 2 to try and sabotage it from within. Then, like, maybe the Earth ‘assignment’ was a trap laid by the Control Brains to get him out of the way. Or maybe he picked Earth because although the Empire sees it as unimportant - Dib thinks it has powerful arcane significance that makes it the perfect foundation for his resistance against the Empire or something like that.

I’m mostly thinking which of these is the snappiest and easiest to explain, but I do enjoy the idea of it being a trap cause it creates the possibility of a “the Alien discovers their plan is a big fat lie” scenario like in ETF, but rather than being utterly despondent and depressed like Canon Zim - Alien!Dib will be joyous and jubilantly validated at the idea that he was considered a notable enough threat to get out of the way with such an elaborate trick.

And Zim as the son of Professor Membrane is also a fun concept to consider. It’s very funny to think of him as still a megalomaniac trying to take over the world while also being just a human kid. He wants to defeat Dib because he sees him as a threat for his world domination plans (maybe not even understanding that Dib is not actually a world-conquering rival) and cause he believes that if he exposes or kills Dib he can get his hands on the advanced alien tech, which is the edge he needs in order to take over the world.

You can justify his world-conquering-obsession as, like, him growing up under the pressure of living up to his father’s legacy and he figured the only way to escape Membrane’s shadow is to go totally against everything he stands for, or that he’s subconsciously seeking revenge against the world and humanity for taking away his father's love and attention, or that he’s hoping that if he becomes an Actual Threat to the world, his dad will have to pay attention to him for a change ,or maybe it’s just ‘Zim is Just Weird Like That’. Or probably some combination of all of the above.

GIR and Gaz slot pretty effortlessly into their new roles. Sibling!GIR could be literally Zim’s little brother, or like, some genetically engineered dog monster Professor Membrane made in an afternoon. But personality-wise there’s no need to change much outside of maybe needing to tone a human version of GIR down just a tad because a human child has some biological, legal and physical limitations that GIR would otherwise lack.

Robot Gaz is basically like ‘Dib stole and reprogrammed a SIR Unit to have Free Will, still somehow struggles with the idea that Free Will means she can disobey him as well’. Pretty much as soon as they landed on Earth she acclimated better than Dib did and developed a fondness for Earth’s junk food and video games. She generally does her own thing and doesn’t really listen to Dib’s schemes to develop Earth’s defenses or harness some sort of supernatural forces against the Irken Empire or foil Zim’s plans or whatever - but mostly because disagrees with Dib’s methods and attitude rather than his goals. 

She does prefer the Earth over the Irken Empire and she does have some affection for Dib despite also finding him so annoying. She just refuses to cooperate with plans she thinks are frivolous or stupid or plainly just for Dib’s ego. When push really comes to shove, when she actually believes Dib and/or the Earth is in danger, she would come to help… usually.

So yeah, that Roleswap works pretty smoothly, but the problem starts if I try to do the two other sides of this Roleswap cube. the 'Invader GIR' and 'Invader Gaz' scenarios. This is where I get stuck... And the thing isn’t that the characters aren’t complex and versatile enough - I actually think the IZ characters are pretty multidimensional in their ridiculousness. 

It’s just that Dib and Zim’s psychology are really designed for them to play the roles of Protagonist and Antagonist - they’re very much defined to their very core by how driven and motivated they are and how much they want to take center stage. Zim's so self-obsessed he pretty much has to take over any narrative you place him in. And like 50% of Dib’s psyche can be summarized as a terminal case of Main Character Syndrome. Meanwhile, while GIR and Gaz have their own motivations - but GIR’s are generally too wild, capricious and frivolous to actually motivate a Plot, while Gaz’s very much defined by how mundane all of her motivations are. So you really have to work extra hard to make sure Zim and Dib, even when relegated to the sidekick role, don’t still find a way to steal the show.

Honestly, doing Zim as the Robot is actually something I think I can make work. If you just play up a few of Zim’s wackier elements - and especially his blind obedience and dedication to his superiors (which in this case would be Alien GIR), I think you can get a version of Zim that is recognizably Zim while still sticking mainly to the Wacky Comic Relief role.

(And for the record, Robot Zim is a modified SIM Unit, which is a Standard Issue Minion. What does the Z stand for? The Z stands for ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM, obviously!)

Sibling Dib was kind of a weird journey for me because at first I thought I had an easy solution for it - just Bill-fy Dib! Keep all of Dib’s bolster and UFO obsession stuff, but minus the fact that he can actually recognize an alien standing in front of his face. Probably because he just doesn’t want to admit his sister found an alien before he did - he just refuses to believe GIR is an alien and going off his wild-goose chases against his own phony conspiracy theories.

But… I think that idea is, like, too effective at keeping Dib away from the limelight? I mean, that would basically relegate him exclusively to Comic Relief and someone Gaz could have conversations with and very little plot relevancy. And I think we should be able to do better by Sibling Dib. Some way to keep him away from the Main Character Role, but still have him as a relevant and useful character from time-to-time?

Putting GIR in any sort of lead role is the much bigger problem. Like I said - GIR just too deranged and too uncontrollable to hold most plotlines, even on Invader Zim. And I can imagine grounding him just a tad, you can do, like ‘alien Invader comes to earth in order to conquer it - realizes he likes junk food and stupid TV so much that he doesn’t want to do it anymore, but still lacks any real concerns for human life or morality’. You know, I’m imagining wacky misadventures that are basically in the spirit of ‘what if SpongeBob SquarePants lacked any sense of right and wrong’ - and that will be a viable narrative, but I’m worried it’s getting too far away from the sheer id-like essence of GIR.

On the Kid corner, obviously you can make narratives in which Gaz and her motivations move the story along - Invader Zim Canon did it multiple times. It’s more of a question of how much we can keep this up. Like, okay, this is purely me and my stupid personal hang-ups. But what I’m looking for is an AU that really feels like it could be its own standalone show, and obviously it’s not going to be the same as Canon IZ - like the Invader Dib roleswap is going to have a slightly more standard heroic narrative compared to the total Villain Protagonist setup of the canon - but I want to make sure everyone fulfill their new Narrative Roles to the level you can imagine a Variety of Episode Plots that fit the 11-minutes-and-occasional-double-length format of IZ. 

And with Gaz being really defined by the fact that she cares more for being left alone or the mundane things in life or enacting terrible revenge in the name of the mundane things in life than for any of the sci-fi shit or saving the world- it kinda limits the amount of plots she should be willing to participate in and/or requires a lot of extra Set-Up to explain why she’s emotionally involved in the plot. 

I mean, I can certainly imagine a story about a hedonistic would-be Invader making a bizarre harebrained scheme to get his hands on a ridiculous amount of tacos which somehow spirals into attracting the ire of some scarily competent and spiteful little girl by, like, interrupting her Super Mario Odyssey speedrun or something and so she causally takes down his whole operation. But that sort of setup works better for a sort of hyperformulastic show like ‘Phineas and Ferb’- and ‘Phineas and Ferb’ is lovely, but Invader Zim really benefits from a wide variation of plots and episode structure. 

(That’s also the problem with a Tallests-Zim Membrane-Dib roleswap. Although the idea of an P&F style sketch starring the two lazy goofball Invaders who are just trying to get their incredibly obnoxious and megalomaniac boss off their back and are repeatedly accidently foiled by a brilliant hypercompetent child genius who also somehow remains consistently oblivious to the fact that they are aliens trying to take over the world is very Fun and I should probably do something Separate with it later)

And then there’s the idea of a Zim-Gaz GIR-Dib roleswap which is… I don’t even know where to start. That’s pretty much what that one body-switch-themed guest issue of the IZ Comics used basically because it’s the one that breaks the show’s premise the most thoroughly. The show’s most ambitious and least competent character swapped with its least ambitious and most competent and the most grounded character is swapped with the most unhinged. I am still really stuck on how to make it work?

The only real idea I have for now is maybe taking inspiration from Alien Gaz from that aforementioned comic issue’s characterization - not of Gaz-as-Zim, but of Zim-as-Gaz. Something about an Alien Invader who is genuinely invested in conquering the planet but also she keeps getting distracted? It’s hard to really say when, like I said, that’s really the only thing I have right now. 

Perhaps I need to think about all of this a bit more, or perhaps the real lesson of this Character Exploration Thingy is just that those kinda roleswaps just don’t work with the Invader Zim cast?

[trans-androgyne]

This isn’t really enlightened commentary but after lurking in the tags since 2021-ish, I’ve noticed this weird cycle that transandrophobia / anti-transmasculinity deniers go through when trying to convince people that acknowledging ATM exists is somehow worse than those who are ATM themselves.

Pretty generally it’s “oh are those transmascs bitching again? just detrans already you [cunt/bitch]. I’m a trans guy and I don’t think ATM is real so you must be a trender a woman who hasn’t realized she’s a radfem yet. I know your gender/life better than you do.” -> “you’re saying trans guys can be affected by [medical misogyny]? you’re calling me a woman by talking about [pregnant trans guys]. men don’t face [medical misogyny] so you’re not a man (but i am)” -> repeat endlessly. put new things in the brackets of the second one depending on what anons are projecting about this week.

As someone who had a friend who got sucked into truscum discourse at a really young age, it’s pretty much just the same shit? A lot of “well this transmasc has different experiences than me, time to invalidate them because I am the True Transsexual here”, misogyny, really charged sexual language/discussions of AGAB, and an almost religious adherence to “REAL (trans)men don’t have problems. If you are (trans)masc and you step out of what I think you should say/how you should dress/what you should call yourself I will just call you [female/a woman/a girl].”

I do think the peak of truscum discourse had less rape/SA pregnancy threats (I’m not calling them “jokes” because they weren’t) but it’s eerie how it’s all just the same broken record of people being defensive essentialists? Even eerie to see the cycle being repeated by people who now disavow transmeds but are fine going “my bigotry/exclusionism is good because these queer people deserve it this time.”

You could probably tie it all into the rise of Aphobia around the same period (hell, the whole “Aro men are evil” thing recently happened!) but I’m not aspec so I don’t want to step on toes there. I think your anons have made this abundantly clear, I’m so sorry you have to deal with these projecting anons but I’m so thankful your blog is here. It’s such a good resource and I don’t think I’d be able to really chew on all of this without it.

Thank you, no I appreciate your analysis a lot. The parallels to truscum culture are especially pertinent as I got an anon yesterday calling me a tucute for talking about transandrophobia lol.

[theelderhazelnut]

Baldur’s Gate 3

Warning: none

Pairings: Ombra x Astarion

Characters: Ombra (my oc), Astarion, Gale

Summary: Ombra, a metal bender, is merely tolerating her new companions because she has other plans in her mind. One of these people disgust her to the core, but her depressed soul eventually find him “lovely”. Her busy, calculated mind can finally rest for one night. But does this vampire deserve her love truly?

Author’s note: Yay my first fic for BG3! I may post more drabbles like this untill I start posting the whole story of Ombra! I really love how these two work out together. Extroverted, charming boyfriend x introverted, also charming girlfriend.

Taglist: @vivilovespink @scentedcandleibex @darialovesstuff @confidentandgood @spacestephh @cyberneticsanguinaire @inafieldofdaisies @carlosoliveiraa @shegetsburned @bloody-arty-myths @zoetheneko @hi-thisiszira @admin-pipes @mitsuko-saito @malewifefirestar @krysta-cross @huepazu @cassietrn @breakfwest @nightbloodbix @middlechildwhoescapedthebasement @ninibear3000 @cyb3r-v4l @sinclxirx @gavincruikshanksexhusband @voidika @orbitinytheworld (writing taglist is here to be added/removed)

Out there around the camp, the fire was burning in my death; the death of my soul actually. The thick fabric of my tent was strong enough to shelter me for a while until I get rid of my stupid “companions”. Astarion, however, was the most stupid of them all.

I pushed away the fabric slightly to peeked at his tent which was a few meters away from mine. The gentle light of a lantern dimly lit his private place. He was awake; probably reading or taking notes. His voice rang in my ear.

“Even your spirit is of iron. I like that.”

I would be in a much more peaceful state of mind if he would shut his mouth for five minutes. But the more I explored in my heart, the more I realized that I would miss hearing his voice, his rich British accent, and the way his crimson eyes flamed with naughtiness.

I am always direct with my emotions. I either love someone to death, or I don’t even flinch if they are tortured in front of me. But my mind was beginning to be confused about him. At first, I loathed him just like how I felt about everybody else around me. He was no different. He was just a regular talkative, narcissistic, immature person who believed each and every one of his opinions were valuable.

But now, I couldn’t forget about the way his pale eyebrows rested, and his smile became true when he witnessed my monotone tone become a bit harsher when I was lol easily annoyed by others. When I pushed them away, and gave structres for our next move with a permanent glare on my face. And when I don’t seem to be bothered by the death of our companions.

If my calculations weren’t bteraying me, I would say that Astarion understood me, deeply. His guesses were seemingly right about the real person I was beneath these twenty layers of defense. This real person was as harsh as my outer facade, just even weirder.

I heard him stepping out of his tent, and I immediately closed the fabric door.

My heart raced in my chest.

I listened closely. His footsteps were approaching untill they stopped near the fire place.

“If it wasn’t for her analysis skills, I would not hesitate to throw her out of our way.” Gale whispered.

My lips curved donwards into a smirk.

“We owe her all this information we have gained untill now. Also, her presense is quite an entertainment for me.”

“Your opinion about her seems to be altering, Astarion.”

I didn’t hear him expressing anything as a response, istead he walked towards my tent. Quickly but silently, I crawled to my sheets, pretending to be asleep. A few moments passed after what seemed to be hours, untill I felt him sitting beside me. He didn’t say a single word, but his gaze weighed heavy on my figure.

“Are you asleep?” He murmured softly.

“…no… .” I replied with my eyes closed.

“So, may I?”

I opened my eyes to make sure he was not about to kiss me. Astarion gestured to my side.

“You may.” I crossed my arms, watching him getting comfortable next to me. He lied down on his side, and rested his head on his palm to hold it up.

“I couldn’t sleep either.” Slowly, he reached out his hand towards my face, and once he was not rejected, he shoved a wavy strand behind my ear. I wanted to grab his hand and keep it there, telling him how much I enjoyed this little act of affection. But instead I hid behind my stone face and kept glaring at him.

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, I was thinking about some certain things.” His voice trailed off as his eyes roamed down my body.

I kept looking at him, silently seeking explanation.

“Can I ask you something?” His grin faded away “Would you please don’t abandon us?” The blue cloud of sadness shadowed over his usually sunny gaze.

I raised my eyebrows in concern. “Who said I’m going to leave?”

“I am well aware that you are only tolerating this…” He searched for the right word. “…this companionship. I see that you are constantly looking forward to the tiniest chance to separate your way.” He put his hand on my shoulder.

“Stay with me, Atoosa. Please.”

My heart melted once Astarion called me by my real name instead of “Ombra”; a nickname so widely used by people that it had almost replaced the real one. It was just a simple Persian name untill he said it, and it was the most soothing lullaby.

And he just begged me to stay by his side not because he needed my iron bending powers and strategic mind, but because he’d miss me. Myself.

I frowned. “Why do you care?”

His eyes widened in shock. “We-well I am very sorry that I have found beauty in you! In your terrifying manners! In the way you don’t care about anything but your own goals! I am very sorry that I love you!”

My heart forgot to beat for a second. I did not trust my own ears. Astarion knew very well how to get what he wants by mere words. He knew how to fold those words in golden paper and sell it to you.

“Not all of your actions agree with that, Astarion. I’m not here to play your game.”

Suddenly, a large hand grabbed my jaw firmly, and forced me to look at him straight into the eyes. They were burning with anger and desperation.

“How many more days do I have to claw at any chances to save you from danger? How much more do I have to watch you from afar? How many nights do I have to stay wide awake horrified that you might leave us tomorrow? We two resemble more than you think.” Astarion closed his eyes and sighed deeply, loosening his grip around my jaw. “My apologies, darling.” He kissed where his fingers were pressed to although I did not feel any pain.

I leaned in and attached my lips to his. They were soft and cold. My heart beat blasted in my head as he kissed me back. The warmth of his mouth dropped on the dry skin of mine. Perhaps this time it was better to trust my heart, and let it rule over my exhausted brain. He was the angel to sew the bloodied feathers of my broken wings. He was the one on whose shoulders I could lean my head and sigh all my pain out without scaring him away.

I loved him.

“How can I just forget about you and run off?” I whispered.

Astarion chuckled, magnetising even more blood to my cheeks. “Ah, I knew you had a heart somewhere deep in your chest.”

I smiled. Astarion was the ray of sunshine through the thick clouds gaurding my heart.

All of a sudden, life was saturated with colors. I found joy in it.

For the first time in a long while, Astarion reminded me what happiness felt like.

[saltpepperbeard]

WAAAAAAGHHG HEY ITS ME AGAIN IM SO SORRY I HAVE A THOUGHT AND DONT KNOW WHO ELSE TO GIVE IT TO: Im going to try really hard to be quick!! Still reeling from ep 8!!! (I have so many thoughts and emotions- tldr I know it struggled with pacing but I just really loved it. I’m so glad this show exists. Not going to recover anytime soon!! Excellent.)

I think the ending is a great setup for what could be coming next! Looking back at this season as a whole it feels to me like they had two major points they zeroed in on: 1- Edward’s state of mind. We spend a lot of time with him when no one else is- we’re with him in his head while he tries to process what he wants and how he’s going to get it. We see him wrestle with feeling unlovable, and then we sort of sit with him in his pov while he starts, (STARTS!! He’s not done yet!!) to understand that he IS loved and there ARE people waiting for him. 2- The Golden Age of piracy is ending. They lost The Republic of Pirates, they lost Spanish Jackie’s bar, Zhengs fleet, and they lost Izzy, the most pirate to ever pirate. After the couple of weeks(??) season two takes place- the OFMD cinematic universe is going to be different for pirates now.

ALL THAT TO SAY- after Izzy’s funeral, (rip king I sobbed lol) when Zheng asks Ed and Stede to team up- Stede says something like, “He needs a minute”/“Maybe give him a minute”. So they agree to help- but they stay behind to build their inn. (“It’s a fixer upper, but the bones are good.” ITS THEM ITS THEM THEYRE EACHOTHERS FOUNDATIONS THEY JUST HAVE TO BUILD ONTO IT TO MAKE IT A HOME IM GOING TO TURN TO ASH) this is a decision both of them make- this will give them time to just be. I think Ed still has a ways to go, and talks to have, and maybe needs some time to grieve Izzy, but Stede is there, and they love eachother, and they will be ok. Shit will still go down, and they’ll get involved again eventually, but they’re going to take a minute. NOW. That wraps up this season as a part two of a Three part show- we have a setup for the next big bad, and we’ve focused a lot on Ed (accompanied by Stede’s) issues/insecurities with a focus on Ed having to deal with his issues directly. He had to sit and talk, honestly talk. Do you know. Which half of our main pair. Has not done that?? The guy who the show still deliberately makes a point of showing us he is STILL. NOT OK. Granted, he had the end of season one to realize what he wanted and what he felt, but then we had so many moments this season of him reacting to those feelings but not actually talking about them to anyone. SO. What if the last season is meant to be point 2 revisited- piracy is still ending, the world is changing so how do we deal? And point 1, but FLIPPED. WHAT IF. Season three is Stede’s turn revisited??? Season three with Ed AND Stede TALKING and Stede genuinely coming to terms with the fact that the people he loves are not better off without him- that he doesn’t have to earn the love he thinks he doesn’t deserve?? What if he gets to take that final step into a new world where being a pirate can’t be the same as it was before, but that spirit carries on and now he knows he’s loved and has worth regardless?? I STILL WANT THAT MAN TO BE THROWN IN THE EMOTIONAL BATHTUB IS WHAT IM SAYING. I don’t know if this is anything, or if this is true or accurate!!! Do I just want to see them kiss and cry some more?? MAYBE. Aaaaagh I just really hope djenks gets to made season 3- he deserves to finish his pirate story and I would very much like to be here when he does. hbo max count your days.

Also I once again want to thank you for your thoughts and screams over the course of this season- you really are incredible at character analysis and it’s been an absolute pleasure to come running over to this corner after each episode to see what you think. Thank you for posting. YOU. are WONDERFUL THANK YOU <3 <3 (also. Also also. THEY KISSED SO MANY TIMES ED READ STEDES FUCKIN LETTER ED SAID I LOVE YOU AND THEY ARE NO LONGER SEPARATED. MARRIAGE. I CANT BELIEVE THIS SHOW IS THE WAY IT IS. There is still an owch but!!! It’s a good owchie now 😭😭)

I AM ONCE AGAIN HONORED TO GET SUCH A BEAUTIFUL STRING OF THOUGHTS IN MY INBOX??? <3

PARTICULARLY EXCITED, HAPPY, POSITIVE ONES SJDKSDS LIKE I AM HUGGING YOU SO SO TIGHT <3 <3 <3

AND ALSO, I'M SHARING SO MANY OF YOUR SENTIMENTS TOO SDJKJSHDKLS LIKE-

*INHALES* So seeing the little house in the BTS footage ~*~fucked me up~*~ because I just had a FEELING it was going to be both literal and symbolic for them and their relationship. A little house that's struggling, and falling apart in some places, but is still standing after years and years of battering. It's been through the wringer, yet it still flourishes with so much life and beauty. And it has the potential to grow into something even more beautiful and strong with some mutual effort and tender love and care.

AND THAT'S THEM!!! THAT'S THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!! Like, as you said, they're BOTH still so hurt. They BOTH still have issues to work on. But now they're there, together. They're standing on the same, rickety, wooded floors. They're there, ready to patch things, side by side.

AND YES, I've very much thought it was going to be Stede for Season 1's focus, Ed for Season 2's focus, and then both of them for Season 3's focus, but I do like your idea of it looping back around to Stede! Or maybe like, SHARING the focus. Because, as you said, Stede needs his fRIGGIN BATHTUB, and Ed still needs time to figure out who he is.

It's just such a delicious setup indeed, and I am crossing my fingers so so hard that it gets greenlit quickly for us here. There's just so much MEAT to their dynamic that's still left, still so much to be EXPLORED AND GROWN. AND ESPECIALLY, LIKE YOU SAID, WITH THEIR WORLD COMPLETELY CHANGING AROUND THEM TOO!!! THE BRITISH!!! THE REVENGE BEING CAPTAINED BY FRENCHIE!!!! ZHENG AND AUNTIE WANTING TO GET AT RICKY!!!!!! SO SO MUCH!!!!!!!

BUT anyway, thank YOU so much for taking the time to come in here and share YOUR thoughts, too! It's been such a delight reading them, and I'm so glad we could MUTUALLY SCREAM SDJKSDKLS <3

[time-is-restored]

oh shit i forgot here's another one, this time its an old neal caffrey analysis rant (this one fueled by insomnia, and written much earlier into my first watch of white collar - i think early season 3??):

im gonna be weird about white collar but the thing is so many people are weird about white collar in the wrong direction

like woobifying neal to hell and back or inventing whole new personalities for el or . i don’t even know how to describe what they do to peter

like the thing about neal is he Is a magpie he’s just a surprisingly loyal one, he flits from shiny thing to person to ideal, sure, but certain classes of ppl can fully hold his attention

peter holds his attention bc he is good as in skilled (it’s borderline canon that no one else can catch him, or even really come close), and extremely principled w a cunning streak which neal basically approaches as like. a puzzle box, bc like none of their principles line up so he’s curious how the apparent closed system rube goldberg machine of his morals work LOL

then it becomes a dedication through loyalty, in that peter sticks his neck out multiple times due to faith in neal, and neal is EXTREMELY weak to loyalty/consistency (gestures at the mess of his childhood)

and due to generally low self image (morals wise, he kind of thinks he sucks? like he’s competent and cool and charming and everything, but he also tends to consider himself a nuisance, w how he’s disruptive to ‘normal’ / ‘good’ people) that dedication can become disproportionate

we see through kate (and later, adler) that the easiest way to con neal/get him acting against his own self interest IS to cultivate that loyalty

there’s an easy archetype to it, even, in that u present him with a competent, smart individual (bonus points if they’re a conventionally attractive woman), but have her off limits in some way (uninterested, taken, stand off ish, whatever), activate his thief urge to ‘take’ what he wants, then when they are friends/partners whatever, his inadvertent guilt over like. corrupting/endangering this person/tricking them about who he ‘really’ is will loop around into VERY strong loyalty, and a commitment to being whatever they want him to be x2, bc he Cannot handle being left behind LMAO

peter simultaneously feeds into + challenges this framework, bc he clearly has the least biased opinion about who neal is, even though he’s still wrong about a lot of things. and beyond that, he REALLY likes neal, thinks he’s interesting and funny, but at the start of the show can’t deal with even 0.01% of his chaotic neutral methods

WHICH IN TURN!! actually breaks through some of Neal’s shit bc:

peter picked him out of prison before neal had changed at all

he essentially sees his role, from as early as ep 1, as tactically breaking the law where peter can’t/won’t, in ways that help them close the case faster

after peter (more or less) gives a thumbs up the first time he does this, neals puzzle box brain goes ‘oh?? morally grey bestie??? CRIME BESTIE????’ and now he’s trying to ‘solve’ peter’s moral code

this is actually almost in complete opposition to elizabeth, who is compete open and clear about her affection and friendship w him basically since they meet, and apparently has no prerequisites for it. which, again, pointing to the low self esteem, triggers the ‘oh god what have i done to deserve this i haven’t even CONNED her yet’ so he’s low key more invested in + comitted to elizabeth in a specific. 'i want to be on good terms w this person' targeted way than he initially was w peter (since their mutual obsession manifests so fucking frequently as 'what, you're gonna hit me? you're gonna hit me with that big bat? better make it hurt. better kill me in one shot!' style antagonism)

HENCE the constant check ins w their relationship, reminding peter about anniversaries and dinner times etc, though that’s also due to a general fascination he has w stability + permanence

we learn in s2 he was seriously considering proposing to kate, and that he genuinely wanted to take the ‘true love’ way out of the conman life, even though he wasn’t quite sure whether it would stick, hence we see a lot in s2 his fascination w peter + els marriage, along with june (crime aunty <3)‘s relationship w her passed husband

a lot of his dedication to peter circa s2 is, by my reckoning, explicitly because peter is so determined to stick with Neal, and doesn’t give up on him/their deal even when it would be entirely reasonable (neal admits to crimes, gets put back in prison, constantly breaks rules and goes looking for kate) which is like. neal HATES being trapped, but he also REALLY values consistency + competency

hence the complexes, y'know?

[cringengl]

I've heard people who ship m*leven say that bylers are weird because we preach El's independence but believe Will should end up with Mike, which is supposedly hypocritical because why aren't we showing the same energy towards Will and saying that he should be the independent one (because m*leven is supposed to be endgame and since we are so intent on how amazing El would be single, why is Will so different)???

Maybe it's because Will and El are different people with different narrative arcs???

El's arc is so much more about finding herself, which is why she should have the freedom to do that without a failing relationship to nurse back to health.

We see this in every season, whether it's El finally being able to dress feminine in s1, finding her long lost sister in s2, her ENTIRE arc with Max in s3 and her accepting that she's not the monster in s4.

HOWEVER, Will already knows who he is, his arc is about accepting himself.

From s1 he is unapologetically himself. He is bullied for his bright clothes, it's suggested that he's known he's gay for a long time, in s3 he is the only one who doesn't care about the bullshit of growing up and is more happy being his usual nerdy self and of course in s4 it's obvious he knows who he is (Alan Turing presentation and so much more lol). He can't even lie to Mike in s1 ep1.

The one time he does lie is when he gives the painting to Mike and it's why Jonathan's talk with Will is so important.

Will deserves to have his queer story line finished on a happy note because that's that's Stranger Things is about, finding hope in adversity and destroying social norms.

Because Will's story ending happily isn't him getting rejected by the love of his life, or him dating some random dude (there are going to be no new characters introduced in s5 and there's no one else for Will to date that we already know) who won't understand Will the way Mike does.

Will deserves a boyfriend that pays attention to him like Mike does and protects him like Mike does (even if Will is strong enough on his own) and works on being a better best friend to him.

Because what better way for Will to accept himself than Mike understanding and reciprocating his love, showing Will that his love was never a mistake, that he's not a mistake.

Well what about Mike, doesn't he get a say in this?? I could go on a whole Mike's arc analysis spree, but since this post is about Will and El, I'll keep it short. I think he already has had his say...

[basingstokemercury]

Minute detail analysis: Death At Dawn, after the saloon speech

I was planning just to look over the final shot, but things spiralled as I watched closely and Pernell Roberts is just too good an actor for me not to follow every nuance of his decisions. So uh here goes, it'll be long because I'm going through just about the whole scene.

The blocking and cinematography in this moment always breaks my heart just as much as the dialogue and acting (note that Tubi's subtitles are slightly inaccurate but it doesn't change anything major). But let's start from the beginning.

Hoss is genuinely trying to understand here, but Adam's inner conflict is bad enough without having to try and analyse his own state...

And when the topic shifts from "why are you so adamant (lol) about this" to "are you sure it's the right thing", he's trying so hard to keep control - avoiding eye contact, hiding his expression, speaking in a flippant way that means "if I put emotion into this I'd break"...

Just look at the way he's gone from looking down (thoughtful) at the beginning of the scene to diagonally up (staring at something else to keep himself together) when Hoss starts the new line of questioning - and when he himself speaks, staring straight ahead, completely disconnecting himself from Hoss's eyes...

And then the final direct question is just too much even for that. He snaps, his voice breaks, he can't stay in the conversation.

This is the first time we even see Joe's face in this scene, looking after Adam with concern. He and Hoss exchange looks as they follow, both feeling the gap and neither of them knowing how to close it...

And Adam sets off across the square, the static shot's composition accentuating his loneliness by showing only him in frame, with a long shadow stretching ahead towards the desolate late-night streets...

Even though the others follow, they're at a distance. He's already disappearing down the street by the time they come into view - and before we see them, we see their shadows. Somehow just those shadows behind him, clearly recognisable but without their owners in sight, make the scene feel even lonelier than when he really was alone.

This scene (and episode) captivated me ever since I was ten and watching for the first time. I'm just glad I can finally give it the attention it deserves, with the knowledge to understand what makes it so great.

[friendlyfatbee]

Are you gonna do another series with the lm3 ghosts?

I know this is a bit late to ask (I'm new to Tumblr, sorry)

But I loved the "#lm3 hot to not" series thing!! It has a lot of good points and even taught me more about history! I even realized some things about 'our favorite cast of ghosts' that I never noticed before. Somehow. Like Chef and his mental state, poor guy. I initially thought he was just a bit fussy but damn. Was I wrong? 😭

You are great at observing and finding subtle hints and analyzing such! You don't have to, of course. But I would enjoy looking at something similar. Maybe even head cannons you may have!

Hope this isn't to long/bothered ya, goodbye now! And thank you for the series!! ♡♥︎♡♥︎♡

OMG THANK YOU (also super sorry about the late response, college is really taking up my free time severely ;-;) I'm glad that people enjoyed my character analysis and nitpicking of the LM3 cast, since character analysis is one of my favorite things to do with media! Once I get my free time back this summer, I definitely have some ideas cooking up for other fandoms I'm in regarding looking for subtle details.

While I'm not currently into LM3, I'm positive I'll cycle back into it again since my hyperfixations tend to come and go fairly easily. Having said that, LM3 will always hold a special place in my heart regarding character analysis (I will NEVER let go how Steward and the goobs in the very beginning of the game talk to Luigi but mostly everyone remembers Hellen, Morty and King Boo talking to Luigi.) So who knows what the future will hold!

Final note relating to LM3 Hot to Not, I probably will draw a funny picture for Clem since he was the only one I didn't give a meme reference for regarding the whole series. Clem is one of my personal favorites, so he ABSOLUTELY deserves a shitpost-y picture.

I'll also definitely give the headcanons idea some thought! I definitely have some hot takes that the fandom might think is a little bit of a stretch, but it'll still be fun. Also I still need to write my lm3 oc's lore because it's now been a YEAR of no lore, LOL.

[tomatoland]

TopMew’s love is blue

TopMew are really self-aware characters

Top’s wounded inner child & TopMew’s (play)dates

I don’t think Top putting Mew to bed in EP 8 is overly sexual: a look at what examples we’ve seen on the show already, what the character knows, and what his motivations could be

Mew 2.0 clothing choice analysis; surprise TopMew content ☯️

Madonna-Whore Complex and the internalized patriarchial lense being applied to Only Friends, an LGBT show

Ray continues to push on and violate Mew’s boundaries when he is distracted or not paying attention

Mew as the eye of the OF storm & the loss of innocence EP 1

Friends don’t let friends go. (period). why I think Ray & Mew get together

There's also something off about TopMew's moments and the show is doing it intentionally EP 4

TopMew finally had their BL close-up hand moment EP 6

Theory that Boston showed Top something more than the RayMew Kiss still holding EP 4

Boston’s language inconsistent with it just being a video of the RayMew kiss EP 3

Jojo & Den retweeting this analysis of Boston & Jojo replying to it

People are so hung up on titles: Having a reason does not excuse your actions EP 6

We accept the love we think we deserve EP 6

Foreshadowing: RayMew vs TopMew and trust EP 4

Mew is Top's new drug EP 4

Boston is literally gaslighting everyone and manipulating the whole group now EP 5

Thai Reactions to TopMew EP 6

Previous TopMew Pronoun posts 1 2

TopMew EP 6 scene filmed the day after LOL fest

Mew’s READ ME tote & becoming unreadable EP 7

Mew punching Ray is as much for him as it is for Ray EP 6

How old is Top?

Force captaining the TopMew ship

Least realistic about TopMew sex scene in EP 4

ding ding ding. Top recognizing Mew's efforts with the hostel & whose idea was it really to make it their gang’s graduation project EP 5

Here is a series of images I like to call "When Top gave Mew a mental b*ner" EP 5

Mew as INFJ EP 6

Mew as Top & Ray's Better Angel EP 4

Video edit to Hostage-Billie Eilish

[lost-tardis-room]

Hi! 13, 18, and 25 for the fandom ask :)

ohhhhhhhh hohohohoh thank you hehe

13 - worst blorboficiation

crowley good omens 😭😭😭 like guys i love him too i think he's a great but he is not a perfect little cinnamon roll who fell for no reason and ohhh aziraphale treats him so bad and ohhhh little baby demon so sad uwu ITS JUST HGNSHANGSHANSHAN i think he should do something actually really properly demonic and awful in canon so people stop doing that 😭😭 sorry thats harsh i know. like there so much good analysis of his character out there but then there's also A Lot of people who just immediately rush to smol bean him. and like yeah he does have it pretty bad but like. i think fandom tries to portray it as A Whole Lot Worse for angst value. and he's either super sexy or cartoonishly grumpy???? like??? idk man. sorry this is really mean hopefully i dont actually offend anyone i love crowley guys i promise i think he's fantastic.

18 - it's absolutely criminal that fandom has been sleeping on...

DOCTOR WHO NEW SERIES ADVENTURES these books are sooooo goooddddddddd there so much Extra Lore! i love doctor who and its Extra Lore!! the new series adventures are so much fun and a lot of them have the character dynamics done so well - i can reccomend a few specifics if you like, a lot of them are on internet archive or i can send you a drive link lol but the character writingggggggggggggggg ALSO the novelisations!! again, its the extra bits and lore that couldnt really have fit in the episode that gets added in, and what they were all thinking. the one for rose is really good, and the one for the waters of mars

25 - common fandom complaint you're sick of hearing

hmmm the first thing that came to mind was people tacking on 'she deserved better' in the tags of Every Single Post About Martha Jones Ever cos i think its stopping people engaging properly with her character? like she did deserve better but you can still like her. she's still super cool and her character is very interesting. but i think the main one is people saying thirteen was badly written or they didnt like the timeless child or the flux was badly made, respectfully I DONT CARE :D. I LOVE THIRTEEN I THOUGHT THE TIMELESS CHILD STUFF WAS FASCINATING AND COOL. the flux was kinda confusing i will admit but I STILL LIKED IT. THIRTEEN IS COOL OK I LOVE HER SHE'S BRILLIANT. i dont care if her writing was a bit weird i know in my heart she was so much more than we got to see. and thasmin was perfectly fine. they could've kissed yeah but i think it fits their personalities that they didnt. so yeah.

[luveline]

keeping up with me (this is a weird vent but it's not all doom and gloom or anything I'm just rambling cos I don't have anywhere else to say this lol) (pls don't read if it's gonna stress u out!!) tw suicidal discussion (I'm not suicidal, please don't worry) / disordered eating ment

im fighting shame off with a stick lately, im sad all the time and that doesn't make me gross. im really insecure about lots of stuff, and i feel guilt for becoming this overwhelmed because i feel like im being a bad daughter/sister/friend . i hate that being upset or just generally blue can come with so much baggage! and im constantly feeding myself positivity and it's a battle because lots of me feels disgusting but I know that it's okay to take time for myself, it's okay to want to be by myself, it's okay to want space

i know im not alone in these things, and that doesn't make me feel better or worse. I've gotten pretty good at just moving through like without the constant analysis of my feelings, but I do worry im being somebody who isn't redeemable.

beside my writing im really not confident that there's anything in me that is worth being interested in. and THAT is a whole new bag, because again as it usually goes my unhappy mood has come with a lack of motivation to write anything, which makes me feel useless like if I can't be good at the only thing I'm good at, then I'm not good at anything at all. NOT that I was even too good to begin with wh ich is my second bag — I feel super bad for my asks always being off but the "hate" lately has been relentless. I tend to just block and move on (or try, because it definitely has the power to stick in your brain) but i don't know if it's the same person over and over. t it has sapped any want to write that I had left in me. ever since that one I got about love bites I just haven't wanted to write for Eddie at all because I feel sooo stupid — and it isn't fair, bc the generous love I received for it outweighs the mean stuff by so much, but I just can't get to grips with it

it's nice though bc as I write this I'm like are you sure? is that actually what's upsetting you? and i honestly don't know. Everything feels off kilter in a way I can't work out, and it has for a little while. Which isn't to say I'm unhappy all the time, I'm not, I'm usually cheerful and ready to go, but idk ! I've been good at keeping up with everything besides eating, where I'm eating one meal a day and I honestly can't make myself eat more. I don't know why, it's not to lose weight it's just so embarrassing because its like I feel as though i don't deserve to eat properly

I feel like im constantly fighting myself and my logical brain with how I'm feeling. I know people don't resent me but I worry they should. I know I need to be eating properly but I can't make myself. I know it's okay to have writers block but if I'm not writing what worth do I actually have? The answer of course is a lot, my self worth isn't and never will be tied to what 'content' I'm able to create and i don't want to spread that narrative ever but it's still how I feel.

At the end of the day, none of this stuff actually matters. besides some hormone stuff my life hasn't felt this normal and in order in a long time. I can't work out what changed near the end of October to make me feel like this again. I miss writing but every time I try I just stop because it feels pointless. Its like I swapped chronic worrying in October for constant blues in November:( again though, I'm at such a crossroads cos it doesn't feel like a very urgent sadness and I'm not even passively suicidal as I had been in the summer, I'm just sad. I don't think that's a big deal. I'm frustrated at how it's affecting my everything else

[emblazons]

Cut solely because anime rambling lol

Okay listen. I know a lot of people don’t like AoT for it also not meeting their fan expectations / going a route they didn’t predict and emulating a lot of imagery with brutal history, but….lord the foreshadowing in this show upon rewatch is absolutely insane.

Like. Everything. Literally everything from the animated credits to words over shots to even the TINEST DETAILS foreshadows things to come, and the way the story even includes a time skip halfway through to much success while giving you dozens of well developed characters and complex morality conundrums. It’s a storytelling masterclass, blending damn near every single aspect of itself perfectly into its own insular lore— it’s no wonder it’s what I did a deep dive into right before I got into ST analysis, because my brain needed more of it LOL

(Tbh…while there are also 1.5M valid criticisms of AoT, the fact that people from the start of that fandom got angrier at the ending of attack on Titan than it deserved too…walking soon in to the final ever ep of AoT, I am once again rooting for people to put their old / preferred understanding of shows aside with new seasons, and let the stories exist as their creators meant them WHOLE.

And also…to let themselves realize how well a story is done despite not meeting every single moral or cultural or fan interest as it’s created lsdndjdjdjdb)

[otakween]

I'm Standing on a Million Lives - Volume 15

I'm impressed that this series has made it this far. Literally no one talks about it, but there are much dumber things being published, so I guess it deserves its spot. It's definitely a mixed bag of highs and lows, but I'm mostly enjoying the ride. Still have no clue how many volumes there's going to be. No end in sight yet.

Ch. 70

Iu is goin badass mode and I'm loving it. Kinda giving Joan of Arc vibes.

The disconnect between Iu casually chopping off someone's fingers in one panel and then freaking out because she killed someone in the next was pretty wacky. Like...girl...what did you think was going to happen? Either way, I guess she got over the shock pretty quick because by the end of the chapter she's just slaughtering everyone lol.

It's kind of surprising that it took the characters this long to be worshipped for their immortality/resurrection ability. Then again, I guess living long isn't as rare in this world since there are sorcerers and dragon bishops and what not.

Ch. 71

This chapter was 100% fantasy politics. It was a struggle reading through all those silly made up names, but there were some interesting nuggets here and there.

We're jumping from one hot button to the next, first was human trafficking as seen in...many places, and next was attacks on journalistic freedom which the characters compare to recent events in Hong Kong.

I hope they give the new girl more to do than be a genki background character. She's on the cover after all! I will say her singing Immigrant Song was pretty hilarious. Certified Shrek moment.

It's kinda funny how this world/game uses community service as its goal. It's not like a twisted death game where you have to kill the other players you just have to...contribute to society lol. I guess that's what makes it interesting because the challenges take a lot more brain/strategy than a death game or RPG-style game might.

Ch. 72

Eh, this chapter was kinda messy. Overall I enjoyed it, but why did they have to bring in a damn awkward narrator every two seconds!? The mangaka does this occasionally and it drives me nuts. This story does not need a narrator and it definitely doesn't need one spelling out exactly what's going on to the reader! It took me out of the story every time. :(

I did like Iu's internal struggle and her analysis of the tricky spot she's been put in. As I've said before, this mangaka is skilled at explaining difficult concepts (politics, sociology, war strategy etc.)

Thank God they sent Glen to help Iu and not Yusuke. This way it's a child asking an adult for help and not a "dumb" woman needing a man. Also, Iu needed Glen because she's emotionally intelligent (unlike Yusuke) and was good at calming her down and validating her choice.

Ch. 73

Okay, I kinda struggled to stay awake reading this one, it was a pretty boring info dump about the politics of the area Yusuke's in and how neither side is great.

Changing someone's entire political trajectory with one song? What is this, an idol anime!? (That scene was stupid lol)

The concept of force feeding someone monster meat to turn them into a berserker is pretty chilling. Fantasy human trafficking is even more brutal than irl trafficking I guess.

I continue to really dislike the made up names of this world. In this chapter it was the Sotaga vs. the Faida. IDK why but they just don't sound like real names to me, my brain rejects them. (IDK what magic makes some made up names sound good and others sound like you threw Scrabble letters at the wall...)

Ch. 74

This chapter was all about berserkers and how they relate to all of the ongoing storylines. I find this kind of fantasy slavery pretty interesting. Instead of IRL slavery where slaves were/are used for work, they're transformed into mindless weapons. Very dark, but I could see this kind of exploitation happening if monsters were real.

Of course the main big bad, president dude is wearing a turban...as this whole arc is a thinly veiled reference to extremists in the middle east. (Just feels weird to make this fantasy world so similar to the real world).

Some pretty brutal kills in this chapter, especially Ling getting curb stomped. I do enjoy that most of the gore is stake-less so it can get extreme like that. (Well I say "gore" but the player character deaths are actually bloodless).

Damn, dat fanservice at the end there. Overall this series hasn't been that fanservicey so it feels a little weird when it's tossed in like that. The art was decent, so I ain't mad.

The over-the-top evil all around (including Yotsuya's sociopathy) is a little eye-roll worthy. Verging into cringey edgy territory a bit.