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anyoneseenadam · 3 years

Text

Healing

pairing: Azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: TW - sexual assault, rape, objectification and implications of abuse, smut, consensual sex, azriel is a sweetie and rhys is a good bestie

a/n: first of all PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!!! i’m really proud of this fic but I don’t want to trigger or upset anyone, that being said it isn’t too graphic but still. Anyway I hope u enjoy, this took me three days lmao <333

based on: this and this

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You had your first less than savoury encounter with men when you had barely turned nine. Your body still hadn’t finished forming, but you were growing, and your body was gaining some semblance of shape as you did. It wasn’t much – just a whistle from across the street – but for a second your heart seized up with fear, and in the next you almost felt giddy. A man thought you were beautiful.

You felt like a princess that day – felt the way you had when the boy from your class had kissed your cheek, still too young to process the intentions behind that single whistle. But you didn’t care – someone wanted you.

When you got your first period at twelve – even more changed. Your body felt new, and you didn’t feel comfortable in the changes. Your old clothes didn’t fit and now your mother forced you into tighter corsets for those long, long dinners you had to attend. Your parents were respected Fae in the Hewn City – nobles who liked to drink and smoke and throw extravagant balls. And with your new body you could no longer simply hide in the corner or climb through secret passages with your friends – muddying your dresses.

Now you had to smile when men hugged you slightly too long, laugh when they commented on how much you had grown up, sit pretty and pristine with an old mans hand loitering to close to your rear for hours as you watched your parents drink away their troubles.

By the time you were fifteen you were used to the constant attention, your beauty not uncommon where you lived but still doted on often. Unaware of their desire for your youth, your naivety. The women never offering a helping hand but instead glaring down high skewed noses as their husbands slurred into your ears – still in shock that a pretty, young thing like you was all alone at this party.

When you were sixteen you decided to change that – kissing an alright looking boy at a party and telling him exactly what he wanted to hear so he would kiss you back. He stayed when you didn’t protest as he pulled you to the bathroom and pushed you to your knees. And for this small request, the greasy hands on your body at balls and dinners or any other social gathering halved – now only the truly self-righteous felt they could touch you still.

The only problem was you truly did love the boy you had chosen. He had faults yes, but he was kind – he brought you flowers and kissed your cheek. But he also spoke over you, forced you into silence and took what he wanted. And he always wanted the same thing.

If anything it was his father’s fault. The military commander never leaving room for debate when he argues with his wife – and sons only become what they see in their fathers.

Your father had left with a younger woman a few months after your fourteenth birthday, and you hadn’t seen him since – only heard stories of him galivanting around the autumn court from your classmates. You could see the distaste your mum held you in as she realised she would have to stick around to look after you, not yet old enough to be married. Then Amarantha had taken hold of the country and that possibility had been thrown out the window anyway.

Weirdly enough not that much changed in your life when she took power, the only major difference was that now you had to block out screams before going to sleep and even they had become like white noise. You still drank with your friends on Friday nights, went out with your boyfriend on Saturdays and slept the pain away on Sundays. Your weekdays consisted of school, dinners, balls and whatever more your mother could throw together to appease the high queen.

That and the high lord of the night court had started making appearances at the events your mother threw. He was a cruel man standing so proudly at the queen’s side – but you saw something flickering in his eyes whenever people spoke, complimenting his power and rule. You saw what you felt as you laughed at compliments and lingering touches – you saw pain, but more importantly you saw anger. And right now you could use anger.

During one ball you watched him leave, taking an odd route – not the one that would help him escape the loud music but instead a long winding corridor leading to a series of smaller rooms. Without thought you peeled away from your company, muttering excuses and went after him – grabbing a bottle of wine as you did.

You found him reclining in an empty room and knocked on the door gently. He cracked open an eye – slow like a cat – and beckoned you in. You moved to perch next to him, leaning back with a straight back and letting your head loll slightly as you took a swig of the dark red wine, before passing him the bottle.

“You looked like you could use a drink,” you smiled, eyes focused on his sharp jaw as he held the bottle to his mouth with a laugh.

“One way of putting it,” he smiled. The two of you sat in silence for several minutes as you took in his beauty, his looks plus mannerisms all made him seem like a wild cat - a panther trapped underground.

“Why are you here?” he finally asked, and you raised a hand to trace that sharp jaw. But instead of devouring you as any lesser man would’ve, he brushed your hand away and held it tightly in his larger one. “That’s not gonna happen, you’re what sixteen?”

“Almost seventeen,” you said, cheekily. He laughed but shook his head, squeezing your hand before releasing it.

“You’re still a child,” he said matter-of-factly, and you scoffed, stealing your wine back to drink again.

“Yeah well that’s usually a selling point,” your voice was sad, but you didn’t dare let your eyes stray from his – refusing to show fear, “And you’re so nice to me, I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

He laughed as you pouted, “You practice this in the mirror or something?”

“Usually works in three seconds,” you confess, and he whistles under his breath, “Men are rather easy to manipulate when they’ve been trying to get into your skirts since your first bleed.”

“And you wonder why I’m not about to take advantage of you,” he laughed, and you smiled – a real smile, or real enough. “Plus I don’t think your little boyfriend would be pleased.”

“Eh, he’s never pleased - I don’t think this could make him worse.” Rhysand took the wine back and frowned.

“Does he hurt you?” his voice was sincere but the laugh you let out was not.

“Don’t all men,” he swore, and you laughed again, “Yet you foil my plan to make you fall in love with me and whisk me away to the moon.”

He laughed, but his eyes darkened with deep sadness you were sure you would never understand, “I think we both no that even I could not do that, but I might be able to crush your fly.”

“Little boyfriend? Fly? You really don’t like him do you?” you laughed, head lighter already.

“I don’t like any man who thinks they can hurt women,” he said, frowning when he realised through your passing back and forth there was no wine left.

“Shit that took us like five minutes,” you complained, and he laughed, waving his hand lightly as several more bottles appeared before you – you grinned as you grabbed another.

“So any friends with weaker moral backbones that I could marry?” you asked with a laugh, and he smiled at you.

“I’m sure I could find someone,” he leaned back again. You smiled – finally happy that one night might pass in the company of a decent man.

Soon, you’d find it would be more than one night, a close friendship quickly blossoming between you and the high lord. All your friends were convinced you were sleeping together but true to his word he didn’t touch you, and by the time you surpassed the age of eighteen you didn’t want him to. But that didn’t stop other men.

After a particularly bad argument with your boyfriend that had left you with a handprint on your left cheek you had broken up with him – sending away his apologies and flowers, smart enough to see he didn’t hold the mental capacity to change.

Plus you were beautiful and young, you could certainly do better. And you soon did – rich men who liked to buy you jewellery, and fine clothes, men who enjoyed literature and art and spending time with you.

And at the start of each relationship, for a few blissful seconds you would believe in their pure intentions. But then a hand would drift from your lower back to your ass, or the gentle kiss that followed a necklace would shift from your mouth to your breasts. Not one of them wanted to wait until you were comfortable, so you made yourself comfortable.

You pictured pretty, strong men were holding you down and making you feel something, slipping your own hand between your legs and they penetrated you to try and replicate what you were sure a lover’s touch must feel like. And as always – after the first time- they stopped asking for permission, you were their toy, so you no longer had choice over that part of yourself.

But through nice guys and bad boys, for fifty years you had Rhysand who was a friend – who treated you with respect and finally let you talk, let you breathe.

In the end he was the one who found you, in the backroom of a party – drunk and undressed. You were weeping, curled in a ball with your attackers’ seed dripping out of you, bruises decorating your bare skin. When he turned you over with his comforting hands he found your nose dripping red and the vibrant lipstick you wore smudged.

He helped you sit up and redress, took you home and stood outside the bathroom while you scrubbed yourself clean in scalding water – still unsteady on your feet. You changed into a nightgown silently and neither of you said a word when you crawled into bed next to each other, crying in your best friends’ arms as he tried to console you.

When you woke up, he was gone with just a scribbled message about Amarantha and the name of a healer he trusted. But you just placed it back down, turning onto your back and staring at the ceiling as hot tears ran into your hairline.

You barely ate anything for the days following your assault – fighting with your mother more when you rarely saw her and subsequently breaking it off with your current boyfriend. You had thrown his hands off you when he tried to touch you and the screaming match that followed ended your relationship.

Your bond with Rhysand grew only closer however as you spent nights drinking in candlelight, talking about anything and everything until you were sure he knew every inch of your soul and you his.

“You know what I’m going to do as soon as she’s gone,” you whispered one night as you stared at the twinkling lights you had hung on your bedroom roof to imitate stars.

“What?” Rhys had asked, never letting his eyes leave the ‘stars’ which he had laughed at and then proceeded to rearrange to make them more accurate. To which you threw a pillow at his head.

“Find a hill, or a pier, or a large pit or anything and scream into it until my throat bleeds.” You said and he laughed, the bed beneath you rumbling.

“Consider me on board.” He joked as you sat up to perch at your vanity – smudging the sharp eyeliner you wore with a small brush and applying some red lipstick.

“Wanna go out?” you asked him, and he sat up to with a small, sad smile.

“Can’t.” you understood his implication and frowned.

“I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t gutted me yet,” you tried to lighten the mood, but his face darkened slightly when he joked back.

“Oh she wants to, I’m telling her any information you give me about citizens, so she doesn’t.” He said, ruffling your hair as he stood to leave.

“That’s fair, I’ll keep an ear out,” you smiled, squeezing his hand gently before he left.

Things changed when Feyre Archeron appeared, you saw the way your friend watched her and realised you might be competing for his attention soon, but you were happy for him. Until he brought her to that first party – drugged and barely dressed. You felt the bile rise in your throat as you pushed down memories of yourself in such a similar position, and while you knew he would never hurt her – he was still a man. And you were foolish to believe for all those years that he was a man who would realise this was wrong.

Making polite excuses you left the party, picking up the tails of your dress as you all but raced home – ditching the dress and closing the blinds tightly as you made yourself food in your underwear. The sick feeling in your throat spreading through your chest and stomach as you ate, abandoning your meal halfway for a book and large sweater. And when he knocked on your door that night, desperate to tell you all about her – all about the human girl who he was sure could be his mate, you pretended to be asleep.

You barely spoke to him the whole time she was there, unable to look him in the eyes when she was so clearly out of it – and the feeling only grew when the next morning she would have all eyes on her. You understood that feeling. You instead spent parties flirting with Tarquin, the young high lord who was only a few years your senior or warding off marriage invitations with laughs and carefully placed words.

Rhys would sometimes catch your eyes – furrowing his eyebrows at you when you avoided his gaze, the sick feeling never really leaving. But it wasn’t until you watched Tamlin slay Amarantha with a smile that he tried to speak to you again. Feyre was Fae and leaving with her betrothed and Rhysand had just confirmed they were mates – and never had he needed his best friend quiet like he did now.

You were sitting when he found you, head in your palms and blood dusting the skirts of your dress. You had been sitting near Amarantha when it happened. You looked up when he neared, smiling sadly as he sat next to you.

“Want to go home?” he asked you quietly and you scoffed, standing, and moving to leave quickly. He followed after you, grabbing your arm as you wrenched it out of his grip with more ferocity than he had ever seen from you.

“Don’t touch me,” he held his hands up, backing away to give you space as you got your breathing under control.

“What did I do?” he asked – smart enough to not presume anything.

“How could you think it was okay, after what happened?” your voice was quiet again, and so sad.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he implored, stepping slightly closer again. You raised your eyes to meet his and he understood, the darkness you carried in your eyes shining through – the memories that resurfaced in those dark moments. “I’m sorry, let me explain please.”

You let him hold your arm softly as he winnowed the two of you to your house where you sat down heavy and tired.

“I did it because she needed out of that cell, but I saw what they did to you and you’re a fae woman, she’s… she was human. So it meant that no one else would touch her.” He tried to explain, “And she wouldn’t want to remember.”

“That’s a horrible thing to do Rhys.” You stated and he hung his head low, “How in anyway was that helping her, to get her out you could’ve snuck her here or just take her to a ball and let her dress normally.”

“I’m sorry, I just knew this would’ve been the safest option,” he grabbed your hand again and squeezed it like he did all those years ago, “It’s over, we can go home.”

“I am home,” you laughed bitterly, gesturing to your house.

“No, you’re coming out of this city – we’re putting it behind us.” He stood and held out a hand.

“I know you’re trying to be dramatic and all, but I have to pack – and think.” You said and he laughed.

“Take your time,” he said, sitting back to wait for you, “And I know it might take you a while to forgive me, but I’ll wait.”

You had left soon after, as he revealed his city to you. Winnowing to a house where two beautiful women stood at the door, strong winged men appearing next to them almost instantly – all sharing the same tear-eyed look. Well, all asides from a short, dark-haired woman who simply smiled.

The men you presumed were Azriel and Cassian barrelled towards Rhysand, attacking him in the most violent hug you had ever witnessed. Mor followed soon after and Amren simply offered him a curt nod, to which he bowed slightly with a cheeky smile.

Cassian turned to look at you and everyone followed suit, you straightened up – not wanting to cower under their gazes.

“And this, this is (y/n).” Rhysand said, placing a hand on your elbow, “She’s the only reason I survived under the mountain.”

You smiled at him, annoyed still – but you still held so much love for him in your heart. You looked away when Cassian approached and wrapped you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground slightly.

When he released you he looked you dead in the eye, “I am forever in your service.”

“Cassian let go of the poor girl,” Mor exclaimed behind him, and you giggled, looking to Rhys for support.

“Forgot to tell you he’s a hugger,” he shrugged, and you shoved his shoulder.

“Oh did you!” you laughed.

“Gotta get used to it, you’re part of the team now,” Cassian slung an arm around your shoulder as he guided you inside, “which means lots of hugs and long talks about emotions.”

“Don’t steal my best friend Cassian,” Rhys jabbed at his brother as you all moved to sit inside around a long table.

“He already had I’m afraid, can’t reverse love like ours,” you joined in, patting Cassian’s hand as he punched the air in victory, Rhysand feigning pain as he dramatically collapsed into his chair – a hand over his heart.

When you were finally seated you caught Azriel’s gaze, his eyes locked on you – having watched you interact with his family for less than five minutes and already completely enamoured. You smiled softly when you caught his gaze and he grinned at you, no words passing.

Later that evening – after too many drinks, you found yourself alone on a balcony you found, drinking in the fresh air greedily after all those years underground. You didn’t realise he was there until he was next to you – silent on his feet, his shadows a cool chill passing over your shoulders.

You tilted your head to look at him, in awe of his beauty. Not even Rhysand had awed you as much as this man was, his beauty unparalleled by anyone you had met before. He turned his gaze down to you as well, fighting the urge to reach out and touch you as he watched you move with such elegant curiosity.

“We haven’t had the pleasure of being formally introduced,” you smiled, lifting your hand delicately, “I’m (y/n).”

He met your hand halfway, lifting it to his mouth with perfectly poised and trained grace. “Azriel,” his voice was deep, gruff – and sent chills through you quickly. But when he moved your hand from his mouth you held on, the sparks flowing through you telling you all you needed to know. He similarly made no move to let go.

“Are we? I don’t really know how any of this works,” you laughed nervously but he smiled so warmly and tugged you slightly closer to him with the hand you were still clutching.

“You’re my mate princess,” he said, voice rough from disuse. You smiled widely, eyes forming tears as your gaze never strayed from him – finally getting one person who would truly love you, not your body – but you. He tugged your hand gently and you followed him inside, smiling and love drunk.

“We should probably go to the house of wind,” his voice was quiet as you furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“Me and Cassian have to share a room here, the bed are singles.” You smiled and laughed – irrevocably happy.

“Yeah maybe not,” you said, and he held your hand softly as he walked you to the front door, passed his past out friends, Rhys cracking an eye open when you walked past him, and you turned when he tugged your skirt gently.

You okay? He asked in your mind, and you smiled at him.

I’m perfect, why? You replied as he closed his eyes again, clearly too tired to hold them open - Azriel moving to retrieve your coats.

Just don’t feel pressured into doing anything you’re not ready for, Azriel is understanding he won’t get angry. A sort of cold feeling settled on your shoulders when you realised why Azriel wanted that extra privacy.

Shit forgot I had to do that you joked but Rhysand felt the stress growing, however before he could reply Azriel was by your side again and you were waving him goodbye, your smile tight lipped.

Honestly, you trusted Rhysand when he said that Azriel would understand – but so far you had yet to meet a man who truly respected the boundaries you set, a man who would truly wait. Azriel met your eyes in silent questions before scooping you into his arms, flying high above the house as you squealed in his arms, clinging tightly to his neck, and shutting your eyes tightly as you soared above the vibrant city.

He felt you tense as you neared the house, swooping lower in order to land on the large balcony attached to his room. He placed you on shaky legs gently and looked down to smile at you again – heart so full of love and peace.

Not only was his brother returned to him in one piece, but along beside him came you. His mate. His mate.

You caught his gaze and gave him a tight-lipped smile, terrified for history to repeat itself. You wanted to talk to him and know him – you didn’t want him to learn to love your body instead of you. And you were truly afraid to be touched again, you hadn’t been with a man since you were raped – fear stopping you before they could get close and walls slamming up if they tried.

“Are you okay?” Azriel’s voice was dripping with concern – genuine concern, and the way he said it made tears well up in your eyes. His own instantly widened as he sensed the sadness and fear rolling of you in waves, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you sobbed into his chest. “Oh sweetheart we don’t have to do anything, c’mon lets go sit down.”

He guided you through the glass doors and sat you down gently on the bed, holding you gently and coaxing you through your breakdown. Once your breathing had calmed slightly and you had pulled out of his embrace, wiping your tears harshly with the butt of your hand.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered quietly, terrified to anger your mate when you’ve only just found him.

“It’s okay darling, what’s wrong – did I do something? You’re not terrified of heights are you?” he asked, and you laughed softly, a smile growing on his face as his worries eased slightly.

“No, that was fun,” he grabbed your hand in his scarred ones and you gripped it tightly.

“Then what was it?” you looked into those beautiful, worried eyes and let out an exhale – bottom lip quivering.

“I just don’t think I can – I can’t do that tonight.” You whispered the words lowly, afraid of his reaction as you clung like a child to his hand.

“Hey, that’s okay – we don’t have to do anything until you’re ready,” he smiled, worries easing. You still wanted to be with him, just not in that way yet – and he could wait. He would wait a million years if you asked.

“Even if I’m not ready for a while?” You asked, and he held your face in his hands gently – looking into your tear-filled, defeated eyes.

“I would wait forever and then some – I have already waited so long to meet you, I’m sure I can last longer, especially if you’re next to me.” Your smile was so sad when you met his eyes.

“I’ve been told that before,” Azriel just pulled you closer to him with a cheeky grin.

“And were any of them your mate?”

“No,” you smiled at him again and he thought his heart was going to combust.

“Well then, I love to prove people wrong.” You buried your head into his chest as his arms came around you once more, “Would you like to sleep here, or would you like your own room?”

“Here is fine, I like the way you make me feel,” you said quietly, tugging on the bond experimentally. Azriel just smiled and tugged back.

“That works for me, I’ll get you a change of clothes.” He moved to stand but you stopped him – tugging on the dress shirt he wore.

“I want this,” you grinned cheekily up at him, and he laughed, but undid the buttons and pulled it off anyway – turning around to let you change in peace. When he turned back around you were looking up at him with wide eyes – looking impossibly cute in his shirt.

“It has holes in the back,” you complained, and he laughed, sitting down to tug off his trousers before sliding under the covers as you scrambled to lay in his arms.

“Well I do have wings,” he cemented his point by letting one drape over your shoulders as you sighed in content.

“Really, I hadn’t noticed,” you deadpanned quietly, burrowed deep under his arms and the covers. His chest rumbled with the silent laugh as he pressed a kiss into your hairline.

The next morning he awoke to you laying on his chest, tracing the scars on the backs of his hands with a delicately pointed finger. He stared in wonder, and you must have felt his gaze because you turned your head to meet his eyes, face still puffy from sleep. As you whispered to him that morning, your chin resting on his chest as you gazed up at him until he rose to get your morning drinks. Barely daring to leave for more than a few seconds. And when he returned he was so glad he did – welcoming the sight of you curled up under his sheets with a shy smile and tired eyes.

“Do we have to do anything today?” you asked as you sipped your drink slowly, Azriel’s’ arm tight and secure around your waist.

“Nope,” he said, delighted at the prospect, “I just want to be with you and my family.”

“Sounds heavenly.”

True to his word, for the next few weeks that past, you and Azriel didn’t progress past slow, occasional kisses and lingering touches. But before either of those he was always searching your eyes – asking permission. And you truly fell in love with him during those weeks.

He was caring and consistent – never promising anything he couldn’t bring. And he cared for you, he cared for you past your body and looks. He wanted to be with you for an eternity.

One night, while you lay together, speaking lowly and listening to the rain fall outside your room – a glass door cracked open, you decided you were ready. You pressed closer to him, your lips meeting his own in a kiss more passionate than you had previously shared.

He followed your lead with just as much passion, but when you crawled into his lap he pulled away slightly.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you,” he asked quietly, hands coming to rest on your hips.

“I’m sure, I love you and I want to be with you.” You told him sincerely, “But I haven’t been with anyone in a few years so I’m a little out of practice.”

You giggled nervously but he furrowed his eyebrows, “But you told me about your boyfriends?”

“Yeah but I – stopped dating about five years ago.” You tried to explain quickly, old nerves being brought up, but Azriel pulled you closer and as always his touch calmed you.

“Can I ask why?” he watched you drop your head a little as you breathed slowly – determined to not let your fear rise, you would probably end up telling him anyway so you might as well get it over with.

“I was raped.” You stated and his grip on your hips tightened slightly as he swore.

“Darling, I’m so sorry,” he started but you stopped him with a sharp glaze.

“You don’t need to apologise, it happened and it’s over now.” He could practically feel you pull away, so he loosened his grip on your hips and instead brought his arms up to hold you against his chest.

“Who did it?” he asked, voice dark and dangerous. You muttered a name lowly – under your breath – and he pocketed in the darkest corners of his mind for later. His shadows itching to tear the man apart.

“Look (y/n), if you’re ready I am more than happy to oblige but I need to know you’re really ready, I will wait as long as you need.” You pulled away from his chest and kissed him gently.

“I’m ready, I trust you,” he smiled up at you from where you perched on his lap and you giggled and he flipped you over, laying between your legs with a feral grin.

He made you cum three times with his mouth and those beautiful, beautiful hands alone – more than you had ever experienced with a man and he hadn’t even received any pleasure yet. Except from the pleasure of watching his perfect mate fall apart on his sheets, over and over.

And when he lay over you, your legs pushed up and wrapped around his waist, and his forearms on either side of your head – he would later swear he had never felt more complete.

“I’m here with you remember, will be the whole time.” He assured you, voice soft as he lined himself up and you smiled.

“I love you so much,” you whispered, and he pushed in slowly, filling every part of you and pushing against every spot you didn’t know you had. You swore under your breath when he bottomed out, the slight pain quickly being reduced to please as he dropped his head into the crook of your neck.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good,” you felt shivers run through your body at his gruff voice and smiled, moaning when he began to move.

He pulled his head from where it hid in your neck and watched as you closed your eyes – head thrown back with a smile – and his hips bucked, desperately trying to control himself as he watched you arch your back.

“Shit Az, you’re so big,” you moaned loudly, unaware of the trance you had pulled your mate into.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered with a harsh thrust, a hand coming to stroke down your face as you opened your eyes to meet his, “So perfect.”

You felt as if your heart was going to burst from the love that filled it as you reached up to kiss him softly – conveying every word, every thought, through that kiss. When you pulled away you were nearing your end, the sensations building in you without the need of a fantasy or your own hand.

You moaned his name, gripping his shoulders tightly as one hand instinctively moved to stroke down his wing. He shuddered above you with a loud groan – his thrusts speeding up as he to neared release, yours hips surely bruising from the force of his own.

“C’mon baby, need to feel you, need to know you’re mine.” His words ignited something in your stomach, and you clung tighter to him, kissing his sharp jaw as you smiled.

“I’m yours Azriel, now and forever.” Your gentle words pushed him over the edge and his skilful fingers dipping between your thighs brought you down with him. The two of you crying out at the sensations you shared as a growing need to never let him go consumed you.

He collapsed on top of you soon after and he intertwined your fingers with his own as your breathing evened out. He slipped out of you, and you smiled up at him as he sat up, rolling off your body and laying to the side while you came to rest your head on his firm chest. He brought his spare hand upwards – twirling strands of your hair slightly as you rested in silence. After a few minutes, you clambered into his lap and kissed him firmly as he pulled you impossibly close.

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips, and he felt his heart swell with gratitude to the world for giving him an angel that would willingly hold his hand and guide him out of the darkness.

“I am so in love with you,” he whispered back, and you giggled, a hand moving slowly to stroke him as you felt him harden beneath you again.

“Hmm, is that so?” you whispered.

Azriel, who had started pressing light kisses into your neck, nipped you gently, making you squeal, “What were you saying darling?”

“That I am also deeply, and unequivocally in love with you.” You replied and he rolled his eyes.

“Just putting me to shame with your big words.” He muttered and you giggled – crawling down his body.

“I’m sure I could make it up to you.”

#acofas #acotar #azriel #acomaf #azriel x reader #acowar #acofs #acosf

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sacredsorceress · 3 years

Text

Say Yes || Bucky Barnes

pairing: 40s!bucky barnes x rogers!reader

summary: after receiving your brother’s blessing, bucky barnes finally finds the courage to ask you a very important question

a/n: another addition to the bucky barnes x rogers!reader collection- reblogs and replies are super appreciated!!

word count: 2.3k

warnings: none, fluff

masterlist || request || taglist

1941

Feeling the cool breeze of the spring day surrounding you, you began to grow annoyed as Bucky stopped short, slipping his hand out of yours to wipe them on his pants for the fifth time that afternoon.

Wrapping your cardigan, tighter around you, you sighed.

“Is everything alright, Buck?” You asked.

“What?” He asked, squinting up at you, brushing his hands on his bottoms. “Yeah, yeah, doll. Everything’s fine. It’s just hot today.”

Watching as another cool gust of wind swept through his hair, you eyed him warily.

Bucky has been acting strange in the past two weeks since the night your brother, Steve, had discovered your relationship leading to a punch being thrown and shouting that you were sure woke the neighbors. However, your brother had assured you after coming back inside from speaking to his best friend alone that everything was fine and that they had worked out their differences.

He promised you that you had nothing to worry about.

If that was the case, you couldn't understand why Bucky was acting so... odd. You had known Bucky since before you could even remember and although he was your brother’s best friend, you had always been able to read him like a book. You couldn’t place a single reason why he had been behaving so anxiously the past few weeks or why he had suddenly become so nervous spending time alone with you.

“Did... did Steve say something to you?” You found the courage to ask your partner.

“Huh?” He asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I told you, doll. Steve and I talked it all out.”

When you said nothing else, keeping your arms crossed and only turning your head to the side to instead watch the couple having a picnic on the grass nearby, Bucky began to grow nervous that he messed up.

“Why?”

Facing your partner once again, you threw your hands in the air with a groan.

“I don’t know, Buck!” You exclaimed. “You’ve just been acting so weird. Just talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong!”

Bucky swore he could feel the color drain from his face.

He didn’t think you had noticed his newfound behavior- or at least hoped you hadn’t.

Ever since he had asked Steve for your hand in marriage two weeks ago and he said yes, Bucky had been nervously searching for the perfect moment. He had known he wanted to marry you since one month into your relationship (and knew you were it for him even earlier than that), so he had expected to be overjoyed and relieved upon finally receiving your brother’s permission, but instead it had only made the reality that you could say no to him even more real.

He hadn’t even thought of that possibility until the opportunity to ask you was finally in his hands.

He wanted more than anything to finally be married to you- he knew he couldn’t wait much longer- but he wanted the proposal to be perfect for you nonetheless.

“Nothing’s wrong, Y/n.” He said. “You’re just seein’ things.”

As soon as the last comment had slipped from his mouth, he knew he messed up. When you raised your eyebrows at him, your tongue in your cheek, he took his hands out of his pockets and reached them out for you.

“Okay, I didn’t mean that.” Bucky said, trying to ease you.

“Yeah?” You asked. “Then what’s in your pocket, Buck?”

“Nothing’s in my pocket, doll.” He chuckled nervously. “Why don’t we keep walk-”

Before he could even finish what he was saying, you strode over to him, moving to shove your hand into his left pocket. Catching your wrist, he attempted to lightly shove you away.

“If there’s nothing in there,” You said. “then you wouldn’t mind me checking.”

Still holding your wrist with a tight grip in his hand, he scoffed.

“And what? Give everyone the wrong idea?” He said, tilting his head towards the couple on the picnic blanket on the grass. “Those people are right there.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“Don’t give me that excuse, Barnes.” You lowered your voice. “Don’t act like you didn't just make out with me behind that tree ten minutes ago. Who do you think you're foolin’?”

Just when he was about to open his mouth again, you took advantage of him being distracted and shoved your hand into his pocket. As quick as he scrambled to swat you away, your hand had already wrapped around the cool metal and pulled it out of his pocket.

Opening your hand, your eyes met the familiar ring sitting in your palms. The smirk that had been on your face dropped.

Looking up at your boyfriend, your eyes went wide.

“Is this...” You began at a loss of words. “Is this your mom’s ring?”

You had noticed months ago that his mother's ring finger was bare when the two of you had went and visited her for lunch one day. While setting the table for her- Bucky in the other room fixing the lock on her door- you caught sight of the lack of her engagement ring when she set the forks beside you.

“You missing your ring, Mrs. Barnes?” You asked, nodding your head towards her hand.

As soon as you had asked, her hand shot away from the table as she laughed nervously.

“Oh that old thing?” She asked, moving around the table. “It um... my fingers were all swollen the other day so I slipped it off. I must’ve forgotten to put it back on.”

About to open your mouth to say more, finding her behavior strange, you stopped short when you felt Bucky’s hand rest on your back.

“You know, Ma,” He said, gently rubbing circles on your back. “Next time your lock breaks- tell me first thing. Last thing you need is some burglar coming in here. What were you two chit-chatting about in here anyway?”

Glancing up at Bucky, you watched as he stole a piece of bread from the table, taking a bite out of it.

“I was just saying that I didn’t see your mom’s ring on her finger.”

Choking on the food in his mouth, Bucky began coughing.

Unbeknownst to you, your partner had asked his mother for her engagement ring only a month after officially going steady with you. He honestly didn’t even have to ask. As soon as he had showed up at her apartment and confessed to his mother that he was finally dating the Rogers girl, she had practically shoved the ring in his hand herself.

She had always thought fondly of you (along with every other member of the Barnes family) and had been waiting eagerly for this day to come, knowing some day her son would come to his senses and settle down his best friend’s sister.

When Bucky received the heirloom, he had made his mother promise that she wouldn’t say a thing, keeping it a surprise until the fateful day where he made you his.

He should have known, however, that at the end of the day a part of you was always gonna be Steve’s punk little sister who didn't know when to keep her nose out of his business.

Shaking his head wildly, Bucky glared at his mother.

“You should really keep that thing on your finger.” He said, finally clearing his throat and turning towards his mother. “Don’t wanna lose that, Ma.”

Swatting her son and taking the slice of bread from his hands, she smiled knowingly.

“Don’t worry, James. It’s right where it belongs.”

Scratching the back of his neck, Bucky nodded.

“Yeah, I uh...” He said. “I asked her for it a few months ago.”

At his confession, you began to feel your heart beat faster in your chest.

He had asked his mother for her engagement ring.

He had asker her months ago and it was sitting in his pocket now.

Before you could say anything else, Bucky gently took the ring from your hand and held it between his index and thumb, moving down onto his knee in front of you. Stepping back to take in the sight of him, you opened your mouth in awe, trying to find something to say, but he shook his head.

“I know you love to talk, but just let me say what I gotta say, okay?”

“Hey!” You exclaimed at his playful insult.

“I’m just messin’ with you, doll.” He chuckled before clearing his throat. “So, uh... God this is hard. I practiced this hundreds of times too, I swear, but I’ve known you for so long I don’t know what to say, ya know? You’re just a part of me. I’ve known you for almost my entire life and I remember you just being Steve’s little sister and getting so annoyed because you would just come in there and want to do whatever we were doing, but if that little punk of a ten year-old Bucky saw me now he’d kick my ass because I hate it when you’re not there. I can’t remember a day when I didn’t know who you were and I don’t want to ever go a day without you by my side ever again.”

Not being able to help the beaming smile on your face, you were so overwhelmed with pure joy listening to Bucky rambling on. Squeezing his hand tightly, you laughed along with what he was saying, completely and utterly in bliss knowing what was coming next.

“I would say more, but you know I’m gonna smother you every day you’re with me anyway.” Bucky laughed thinking of the future, looking up at you. “So, will you-”

“Yes.”

“Jeez, can you let a guy finish?” He groaned teasingly, throwing you a bright smile. “What I was asking was... will you marry me?”

Staring down at the man that was about to become your fiancé, you memorized the way the sun shone down on him, highlighting his features and how his blue eyes seemed brighter than ever. Gazing at the smile on his face you knew it was rooted in the pure love and happiness you both shared.

You couldn’t help but think of the Bucky you knew ten, five and even one year ago and how every moment between the two of you was leading up to the rest of your lives. You didn’t know if you had ever believed in soulmates before your relationship grew into something more, but it felt silly to think now that you two were anything but destined to be together.

You had a feeling you’d find him even if there was a world between you.

How lucky were you to have him right next to you this whole time?

Bending down to your own knees, tucking your skirt underneath them, you cupped your lover’s face in your hands and met his lips with yours. You laughed into the kiss as you felt his arms wrap tightly around you, nearly making you fall over as he pulled you closer into his embrace.

When you finally separated from his lips, the smile rose on his face once again as he brought the ring between the two of you.

“I don’t know if I can take this, Buck.” You whispered, glancing from the ring to his face. “It’s your mom’s.”

“Listen doll,” He said, taking your left hand in his, slowly slipping the ring onto your finger. “I’m the oldest. This ring was bound to be mine when I was born and when I met you... it was bound to be yours too.”

Smiling up at your fiancé, you showed off your hand, newly adorned with his family’s engagement ring. Sometimes Bucky questioned if he was a sentimental man, but seeing you there with that ring around your finger he knew without a doubt that he was.

“You like it?” He asked.

“It fits like a charm.” You smiled.

“Well,” Bucky said taking your hand in his and kissing it softly. “My mom always said it was meant for you. I guess she was right.”

Smiling at the mention of his mother who you had no doubt would be overjoyed at the mention of your engagement, you pressed one last kiss to Bucky’s cheek before standing to your feet, pulling him up with you.

“Ya know,” You said lacing fingers with your fiancé’s. “I’m glad you asked. I was starting to get scared you were getting sick of me.”

“The only sick I am for you, doll, is lovesick.”

You didn’t know what the future had in store for you, but in that moment you allowed yourself to bask in the pure bliss of being joined with the man at your side. No matter what the future held, you felt confident that you would be able to face it with your partner- the man you were sure you were destined to go through it all with.

“Y/n Barnes does have a nice ring to it.” You told him giddily, strolling on the path by his side. “Don’t you think?”

He would be lying if he said that he hadn’t had to rewrite letters because he accidentally wrote his last name after your first or that he didn’t turn red when his mother called you her daughter-in-law when you weren't there. Hearing the name fall from your lips for the first time undeniably made his heart skip a beat in his chest as he squeezed your hand tighter, playing with the ring on your finger.

“You know it, doll.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #Bucky Barnes drabble #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes fluff #40s!bucky

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minsyal · 3 years

Text

The Fugitive (Finding Home), Pt. 1

Karl Heisenberg x Reader

Warnings: strong language, Resident Evil-esque violence and descriptions of gore, and dark/sexual themes

Summary: A once-in-a-lifetime trip turned dark. You're quickly exposed to the sinister and mysterious world of a cursed village under the control of dark leaders. How long will you last and will you ever return home in one piece?

Backpacking through Eastern Europe was not a top priority on your “to do” list. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Being one to preplan everything, you were completely caught off guard when your roommate sprung the idea of the trip out of the blue. You roommate, Jezebel Haine, was your first and only roommate from college onward. All legs, she was one of the stars of the track team but was most certainly not one of the brightest shining ones. She was considerably dim-witted, fanatical, and had a booming over-the-top personality that scared every potential boyfriend who had the disservice of meeting her. There were times, though, that she was rather endearing. Her childlike sense of self and emotional drivers consistently put her at a crossroads between what everyone else was doing and what she should be doing; she was, and always will be, a follower.

After four years of becoming “the bestest of friends,” you had a hard time imagining such a hard shift either into another roommate or living alone. Plus, her parents funded most everything she did and, in turn, funded the apartment the two of you shared.

“It’s an amazing opportunity!” She insisted, waving her hands in a simple manner as she rose from the condensed cushion of the leather-clad couch. “Think about it.” Gathering your hands in hers like a 20’s actress who had just met the man of her dreams, she pulled the bundle to her chest. “We frolic through the European countryside, it’s golden hour. My skin looks absolutely gorgeous… yours too, of course. The sun is just about to set, but alas!” She let out a dramatic gasp, removing one of her hands to cover her mouth. “It’s growing dark out!”

“That’s what happens when the sun sets.” You noted, causing her to drop the act for a moment only to immediately go back into character.

“We hear the crunching of leaves and twigs all around us as if something…” she drew close and lowered her voice to a whisper, “sinister is coming. Out of no where we’re ambushed! By what, I’m not sure. Then,” her eyes became glassy as she lay a delicate hand to her forehead, “two absolute studs… and I’m talking big bulging muscles, gorgeous trendy hair, captivating eyes… really everything a simple girl could ask for… seemingly drop from the sky! We’re saved!” She throws your hands into the air as if they’d fall like confetti. Drawing both her arms in, she sways back and forth in a waltz of one. “We’d be married by the next day! Hell, maybe we’d even end up as princesses.”

Oh, how utterly wrong she was.

“I told you this was a stupid idea.” You groaned, haughtily holding your chin up while feeling your spirits low. A few miles back, on an asphalt road that quickly turned to dirt, sat the dingy red rental truck with a blown out engine and a deflating tire. With no cell service and the last town being over 100 miles back, your only choice was to walk.

“Don’t blame me!” Jezebel stopped walking, feet falling flat to the ground as she stomped her foot in a childish manner. “I,” her lip quivered as all the anger held in her body dissipated, “I just wanted to have a fun time with you.” Big tears flowed from her eyes quickly after finishing her proclamation, leaving smearing black lines down her face from the eyeliner she insisted was necessary in the Romanian countryside. God, if her parents weren’t funding this trip, you’d throw a fit for your money back.

“Jess, just,” reaching backward, you fished a rag from your backpack, “don’t cry. That’s not going to make this better.” Sniffling, she accepted the rag and wiped her eyes, further smearing black all over her face. You couldn’t help but feel a shred of sympathy for her. “Let’s just keep going. No use in wasting daylight. I really don’t want to get caught out here in the dark.”

“Where are we supposed to go, then?”

“I’m sure the next town will have some sort of inn or hotel. At the very least, they’ll have directions to the nearest city.”

After another five miles of walking, the sun was beginning to set and no gorgeous studs were waiting to save you. The blazing yellow ball inched slowly beyond the horizon. Its warming rays that had kept the snow from freezing the two of you in the day crept down below the snow peaked mountains that were nestled in the distance. Shadows began dancing between the trees, sending the forest into a theater of silent performers. The dirt road that was once large enough for two cars was now only a walking path so slim that Jezebel had to follow on your heels. Every now and again you were reeled back by the piece of rope that she had attached to your backpack that was firmly gripped in her hand. She claimed it made her feel safer.

“You think those two hunks are going to come save us now?” You joked, attempting to make light of this dark situation.

“I wish.” She huffed, frustration evading her voice as exhaustion took center stage.

Flickering light caught your eye. Hues of yellow and red mingled together in the distance, the outlines of rooftops and smoke-filled chimneys littered the ground below. “I think that’s a village.”

Another mile of downhill travel was all it took to reach the place where the once distant flickering of torches and lanterns grew into the quiet streets of a cluttered settlement. There was no clear indication of movement once you stepped foot in the village; the only evidence of any life came in the form of fresh boot prints, livestock, and the ever-blazing lanterns. Jezebel was all to happy to release your makeshift leash from her fingers, trotting mindlessly by to examine the street corners and homes. Your eyes continued wandering up the rooftops, finally landing upon the eerie looming castle situated on the mountainside above.

From around the bend, you heard Jezebel screech.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You threw caution to the wind, quickly rounding the corner to scold her like a parent would to a misbehaving child. “You don’t know if these people are violent or not. We can’t just go parading ourselves into the town center.”

“I think they’re violent.” She mustered the shaky words. Her hands covered her eyes and the majority of her face as she backed away from whatever had caused her distress.

“What?” The unpleasant squelch of snow beneath your feet caused your attention to draw downward. Dark snow surrounded your boot, an unnatural red hue stained the pure white. Gaze moving upward, your chest restricted feeling as if it had crushed inward on itself. The putrid smell finally fell upon your nostrils as you backed away from the scene. Severed animal heads hung lazily above you, their tongues flopping from their opened mouths.

“I want to go home.” Jezebel sobbed, rasping her cries into her cupped hand. Shaking her head as if to knock this moment from her brain, her short-lived façade of curiosity gave way to her immediate feeling of impending dread.

“That’s what I’m trying to do right now, Jess. Just, calm down.”

A low grumble had you standing further on edge, if that was possible at this point. The sound was clear as day and was anything but human. You weren’t even sure a human could get to an octave so low without the help of technology. Eyes darting upward once more, a chill ran from your shoulders to your toes.

Hauntingly yellowed eyes lingered upon the two of you. The beast-like figure was silhouetted by the moonlight, outlined like a ghost. It looked to be a man, but also anything but a man in the same sense. Its mouth was parted, baring old rotted teeth that looked to have dried blood caked between its gums. Its hands were bloodied as well, small cuts were painted across its forearms only hidden by the rags that clung to its chest.

Before you could process the situation, Jezebel let out another yelp. In an instant, the beast lunged down from its perch, landing with a ground shaking thud nearly five feet before you. “No!” Jezebel’s open palm collided with the space between your shoulder blades as she pushed you toward the monster. The last thing you saw was her backpack falling to the ground as she began running toward one of the homes. You landed face-first in the snow, groaning as all the air in your lungs were forced out. The beast snarled, once again showing its teeth as it hunched down to your level. This was, most certainly, not the way you envisioned dying. Things like this weren’t supposed to exist; this is myth, this isn’t real. It all felt like bad dream gone worse that you couldn’t wake from.

“Pesky creatures, aren’t they?” A new voice called out as the horrendous sound of metal crushing bone and muscle slithered through your ears. The disgusting feeling of gore instantly trickled down your hands. “Please,” the voice continued, “feel free to thank me anytime.”

A moment later, the stranger let out a scoff with the squishy suction of whatever he had used to quiet the monster. The tap of a boot on your elbow finally prompted you to uncover your eyes. “Or don’t.”

“I,” you started, opening and closing your mouth multiple times unable to find the right words, “thank you.”

“Oh.” He tiled the stiff rim of his frayed hat back, exposing a pair of circular sunglasses perched upon his nose. “Foreigners, eh?”

“Yeah, um.” You gathered yourself, finally pushing up to stand on your feet. “We got lost.”

“And ended up here, no doubt.” A stifled chuckle left his lips as he tilted his hat back in place and swung whatever he used to kill the beast over his shoulder. “If I were you, I’d get the hell out of here.”

Without another word, the stranger sauntered off with a backward wave of his hand. “Oh, and have someone clean this mess up.”

“Y/n!” Jezebel’s shrill voice called as she returned with a rather confused villager. He held a shotgun with both of his hands, Jezebel shone a flashlight in your eyes.

“Are you okay?” The villager moved forward with extreme caution after peering around you dumbfoundedly seeing the crumpled body.

“I’m fine, no thanks to her.” You spat, anger swelling in your throat causing a particular acidity to your words.

“All of you! Inside this instant.” A matronly holler came from behind Jezebel and the villager. “You know Miranda’s protection only runs so far as we grow closer to this time.”

Who is Miranda and, more importantly, who was the man who saved you?

The home you were ushered into was on the outskirts of town. It was one of the larger estates given the fact that some people seemed to live in one-room shacks. Upon entering, you were greeted with the warm glow of yellow light trickling in from what looked to be a formal living room. The sweet aromas of honeyed tea wafted through the air, drawing further in as the woman led the three of you deeper into the home. What was worse? You pondered. Being killed by that beast or potentially being murdered by the inhabitants of this home? You couldn’t decide. Thus far, the two gave no indication of malice.

“Please, sit.” The woman pulled out two of the chairs at her table, the wood scratching against the floor. “I’ll fetch the tea.”

Jezebel was so brainless. She smiled at you as if she hadn’t just offered you up as a midnight snack. Surely there was no hamster running on that squeaky track that powered her.

“What was that thing?” You turned to the man who was now seated to your right. “The monster.”

The man ignored your question, instead grabbing a piece of rounded bread from the plate at the center of table. Slathering butter on it, he looked to you. “How’d you kill it?”

“I didn’t.” You frowned, recalling the mysterious man who saved your life without even dropping his name. The villager raised his brows and kicked his foot up on the table. He was waiting for more information. “Some man came out of nowhere. He had some hammer-like weapon.”

As soon as he processed the words, his foot fell from the table and he leaned forward, uncomfortably close. You could smell the distinguishable bite of alcohol percolate from his lips. “Did he wear glasses? A hat?”

“He did.” The words slowly drifted from your mouth. “Hair to about here.” You motioned to the halfway point of your neck.

“Adelina,” the man called, presumably to the woman who guided you inside. He got up quickly, rushing to the other room leaving you and Jezebel alone.

“What the hell is going on here?” You whispered in a harsh tone, leaning forward to get closer to her. “Is this not weird at all to you?”

“I think they’re nice people.” Jezebel responded at full volume without a second of thought.

“That’s coming from someone who tried to feed their supposed best friend to a monster.”

“I was buying us time to get help.”

“Help? I almost died!”

“But you didn’t.”

“When we get back to the U.S. I never want to speak to you again.” You seethed. How could she be this bad? You knew there were a few… a considerable amount of screws missing from Jezebel, but how in God’s green earth does she justify her actions at this point? The thought of it accompanied by her dazed and empty stare only fueled the fire of anger more.

“Dear,” the woman, who you now knew was Adelina, reentered the room accompanied by the man with a tray of cups and a kettle in her hands. She set a delicate china glass in front of you, softly filling it with a reddish colored liquid that she assured you was Celestial Seasonings, a tea imported from Africa. “I hear that you’ve met Lord Heisenberg.” Placing a hand over her heart, she gave a warm smile that only sent another wave of dread through your body. There was something so alluring about this woman, yet so sinister.

“Lord, who?”

Adelina stiffened, craning her neck to the side as she plastered a forced smile upon her lips once more. You had upset her, that much was obvious. “One of the four Lords that rule here alongside our dear Mother Miranda.” She explained, pushing the cup of tea closer to your body. Jezebel had already finished her first glass. Warily, you lifted the cup in your hand and allowed the warm water to heat your frozen body. An elongated finger pointed to the framed painting that hung to the wall. “Mother Miranda protects us here.”

Mother Miranda. You could only focus on the image of the woman silhouetted by six black wings and a halo outlining her head. Her eyes were indistinguishable behind the raven-like mask that clung to her face. Adorned in a black garb, she looked to be a holy figure in this town. But like Adelina, something just wasn’t right with Miranda.

The unsettling reverb of crickets and cicadas chirping grew louder and louder with each passing hour. You counted the seconds between waves of mass chorus; so far, it was roughly thirty seconds between each bleating scream of their nightly tune. You couldn’t sleep. Despite the somewhat comforting, but entirely unsettling welcome given by Adelina and Marion, you couldn’t help but feel like a caged animal in the tiny cupboard room they had given you. A curious thought tickled the back of your mind, willing you to remain as alert as possible after an exhausting day of hiking; where had they put Jezebel? Not that you particularly cared at this point. After the attack she had done a 180, dropping all suspicion of malice in this village. She simply flushed the pictures of hanging heads and wild beasts from her memory. You sometimes envied her lackadaisical memory accompanied by a fanatical view of the world. Living blissfully ignorant, especially in a situation like this, seemed to serve her best.

After a small dinner of fish that smelled of ammonia, of which you politely picked at, Adelina insisted the two of you stay the night. “The beasts will return!” She exclaimed, holding a firm hand over the intricately carved wood of the doorframe. “Early tomorrow we can arrange for a car to pick you up from the next town over.” Hushed murmurs climbing up from the cracked floors pulled you from your thought. The voices spoke in an incomprehensible argument.

“I’d quite like to keep...” the words faded in and out.

“No, no, no. Don’t be ridiculous...”

“What if....”

The floor spoke a soft squeak from beneath your feet as you shifted to get closer to the voices. Their conversation stopped, and you waited with bated breath for it to continue.

“We have to offer someone up tomorrow.” It was Adelina.

“I know, I know.” Marion sounded frustrated. “But you know Mother Miranda prefers only the purest. How are we supposed to know if either of them are-”?

The words faded once more as the two moved from room to room. Walking on the sides of your feet, you followed. Peeking around the corner, your eyes landed on Adelina and Marion illuminated by a flickering fire. They stood close to one another, keeping their tones low.

“Clearly, we offer the frumpy one. Take a look at her. There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s unexperienced.” Adelina snickered, taking a seat on the worn couch with her back to you. “She wouldn’t fit in here anyway.”

“The dumb one would get along nicely with our son.”

“I agree.”

A knock at the front door sent a shiver of adrenaline down your spine. Quickly scrambling to hide, you took in a deep breath as Marion passed by with his shotgun in hand. From the parted door, you could see the sun barely peeking over the horizon. Had it really been that long already?

“Are you sure she’s pure?” The new man stood in the doorway rushed past Marion, looking in the direction of the room they had put you in.

“I suppose we could check.” Adelina called, rising to join the others. “The both of them had that tea. They shouldn’t wake until the ceremony later today.”

“Is she in there?”

“Yes, the other one is upstairs.”

“Let’s check this one first.”

With heavy footsteps falling upon the rotting floorboards of the somewhat dilapidated home, you slunk further into the shadows of the room behind you. The glint of something metal caught your attention; a small handgun sat perfectly on a dresser as if set there intentionally for you to find. Holding your breath, you crept forward to it. You’d never shot a gun in your life, but you knew the basics... both hands, check for ammo, rack the slide, pull the trigger. At least, that’s what the movies told you.

“Out of bed so soon, are we?” The soft voice turned malevolent as Adelina appeared in the doorway of the room. “I wouldn’t use that if I were you.” She motioned to the gun that was aimed rather unskillfully for her chest.

“What the fuck is going on in this village?” You spoke with purpose now, tone wavering slightly as Marion stepped behind his wife.

“You don’t understand things around here, girl.” Adelina spat, moving aside as Marion began charging into the room. The loud blast of the gun echoed from the walls of the home followed by a harsh curse and the sound of a body crumpling to the floor. You had shot Marion in the leg; he’d live.

“No,” you started, re-racking the slide as Adelina’s other friend approached wielding a similar gun to your own. Adrenaline washed over your nervous system, your hands shook violently, but you attempted to remain composed. “You’re the one who doesn’t understand. This isn’t normal! Tell me what’s going on now or,” your eyes trailed down to Marion who was attempting to control the flow of blood from his wound.

“You wouldn’t.” She laughed bitterly.

“Like hell, I wouldn’t.” You exclaimed, training the gun onto her. “Now tell me, what’s happening here.”

“You’ll understand soon enough.” Adelina’s friend’s words were the last thing you heard before your ears rang and the sting of a bullet burnt white hot in your shoulder. You weren’t sure if your gun ever went off again.

Despite being tied, bathed, dressed, and currently sitting on a freezing alter-of-sorts, you still hadn’t the slightest clue as to what was going on. A crowd of villagers surrounded from the south, all carrying on with a rumble of conversation. Adelina shot daggers at you, Marion as well, from a small, inclined hill at the edge of the crowd. The clothes you wore were your own, she had fished through your backpack claiming that it was of no use to waste a nice dress on “someone like her.” Jezebel was likely still fast asleep at their house.

A woman with the likeness of the framed photo you had seen appeared out of nowhere. So, this was the famous Mother Miranda that everyone regarded so deeply. She stood before you as the crowd’s voices hushed and their eyes became hazed with looks of admiration and devoted appreciation. Surely, she was a human, deities and gods didn’t exist in a physical form, you assured yourself.

Without a word, Miranda moved gracefully as if flowing across the ground to stand before Adelina. Taking her face between her hands, she whispered what you assumed to be praise as Adelina’s lips moved rapidly thanking Miranda. She then moved to Marion and grazed her hand against the wound on his thigh, speaking of how his steadfast devotion would quickly heal any injuries of cruelty spread by evil. When her attention finally fell back to you, she frowned. Stalking around you in circles, Miranda’s imposing figure made you want to shrivel to nothingness.

“Thank you.” She turned to the villagers as if to dismiss them. “When the time comes, I will return for another.”

The black wings you had seen in the photo sprouted from her back, shielding your sight of the villagers as they retreated to their homes. Hopeful cries and shouted blessings to Miranda echoed from the crowd as the village gate slammed. The only evidence of them once populating this empty square were flowers and offerings of fruit and grain left for the supposed goddess.

The world swiftly darkened once more.

Part 2 - Paths Meet

I promise there's more Heisenberg in the next part..

Feedback is always appreciated

#karl heisenberg #heisenberg x reader #karl heisenburg x reader #resident evil village #resident evil heisenberg #re8 heisenberg #heisenberg imagine #lord heisenberg

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mrsavery · 4 years

Photo

OUR MIRACLE

Massimo Torricelli x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: You give Massimo the most precious Christmas gift that he always has wished but never got.

Word count: 1808

It had been exactly five years since your first Christmas together. Five years filled with love and happiness. The Christmas lights were dancing on the Christmas three, and soft music was playing in the background, as you walked through the empty house with a gift in your hands. It was for Massimo who, at this moment, was away for business but should be home in a few hours.

As you sat is down under the three and looked around the room, you could not stop smiling, knowing that one day things were going to change. You left the room and went to the kitchen, humming ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ under your nose. Since your husband was gone, the house felt empty and foreign, and you were counting hours until his return. The clock on the wall showed that it was only four in the evening, meaning that Massimo would not be home for another three to four hours.

You knew all about his lifestyle, about his work and family. It scared you at first, because you were afraid of his life not yours, knowing that every day could be his last. Never ever in the five years of being together you had been in danger, had been kidnapped or touched by others. Massimo had been doing everything to keep you safe, and he is keeping his promise.

You walked back to the living room and sat on the couch with a cacao mug in your hands. You will wait for your husband here and, while waiting, read a book that you have not been able to finish in a long time. It is a novel that Massimo gave you on your twenty-fifth birthday a few months ago. Your husband knows how much you love reading, and because of that most of his present are books.

One hour passes, then the other and soon you have finished reading the book. You put it in the bookshelf and return to your place on the couch. When ‘Last Christmas’ starts playing in the background, you close your eyes and let your mind take you back to your first Christmas together.

Massimo’s warm hands wrapped themselves around your waist, as he sat behind you on the floor. He put his head on your shoulder and inhaled your scent, like he always did. It helped him to calm down.

“Is everything alright?” You asked him.

“Si.” Massimo replied and afterwards kissed your cheek. “How was your day, farfalla?”

“I talked to my brother a few minutes ago.” You said and looked at the fireplace in front of you. The fire was dancing, and you felt Massimo shifter against you. “He said that my parents still cannot forgive me for leaving.”

Seven months ago, you left home, ran away from your arranged marriage and things that you knew. You were born and raised in a small town in west England where everyone knew everyone. There were two farms in your town, where most of the people worked. One was owned by your father, and the other was owned by the Carter family. They wanted to unite both farms, and the only way how to do it was by marriage. As the Carter family only had a son your age, and you were the first-born daughter in your family, you both were supposed to marry. Jonathan Carter was beautiful, but you did not like him.

You tried everything to get break the arrangement, even gave your place to your sister who wanted to marry Jonathan, but it did not give any results. Jonathan only wanted to marry you, claiming that you were the most beautiful girl in the town. Your brother, seeing tears in your eyes two days before the wedding, helped you to leave. You flew all the way down to Italy and started a new life there.

You missed your family very much, but the life was better for you here. If you tried to return… You did not know how it would end and did not want to find out. You had a new life here, a man who loved you and who took care of you. Massimo was giving you the world, but the pain in your heart did not leave easily.

You felt Massimo’s thumbs on your cheeks wiping away the tears that had fallen. “Everything is going to be alright.” You whispered and turned around to face your boyfriend. You got into his lap, wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed his lips softly. You looked into his dark eyes and whispered words that both never have told loud. “I love you.”

Massimo just smiled and kissed you back, this time with more passio. “I love you too, farfalla.”

You opened your eyes when your phone made a quiet sound. You took it in your hands and smiled because it was a message from your brother. He had sent a family picture of him, his wife, and their three years old daughter. You decided to call him in return, and your brother answered almost immediately.

“Hi, Merry Christmas!” You said with a smile.

“Merry Christmas to you too! Did you see the picture?” He asked. You could hear your niece’s laughter in the background.

“Yes, you all look amazing, when Massimo comes, I will show him it too.”

“Where is he?”

“Some unexpected things came up, and he was forced to go to the work. He should be back soon.” Your brother thought that Massimo owned a company and was CEO there. It was a partly true, since he owns a few companies around the world, but he mostly uses it as a cover, because truly he is a Don to the biggest mafia in Europe, but your brother did not need to know that.

“I will hope that Massimo comes home fast. I do not want you to spend the Christmas alone.” He said, and you heard pain in his voice. You have not seen him since your wedding that was four years ago, and both of you wanted to spent time together with your families, but never really had a chance.

“I will not.” You said and put a hand on your stomach. “Alice is growing up fast.”

“Yes, she is. It is like only yesterday she was born… I have been thinking about you and Massimo. You both are happy, but a little child would make things even better. You are already twenty-five, and he is, let me count… thirty-five.”

“We will think about it.”

“I have to go, [Y/N]. Mother is calling. Talk to you soon, alright? And give Massimo my greetings.” You were not able to reply, because your brother ended the call. You as well put your phone away and smiled when you looked outside the window and saw your husband’s car approaching. Massimo was finally home!

You stood up and made sure that room looks perfect, before walking to the front door. Before you could open them, Massimo beat you to it and smiled seeing you. “Hi, farfalla.”

“Hi, Massimo.” You let him take of his jacked and shoes before you ran into his embrace and kissed him with force. You had missed your husband all day, and you could not wait for him to open his present, because it was a tradition for you and Massimo to open presents on Christmas Eve instead of the next morning. “How did the meeting go?”

“I would have been happier to stay home with my wife instead of listening to them.” You chuckled at his answer.

“Nobody is perfect.”

“Only you.” Massimo said kissing your bare neck. “Can we skip presents and go up?’

You turned around and put hands on his chest. He was much taller than you, but the height difference had never been an issue for you. “After you open your present.”

He groaned. “Why does my present is so important? In my opinion, sex with my wife is more important than presents, because you are the biggest present that I have got.”

“Because after you open it, we will be able to go and celebrate.”

Massimo raised his eyebrow to you. “A celebration?”

You nodded and got out of his embrace. You walked to the tree and got out a little blue box that you had placed there earlier. “This is for you.” You said giving it to your husband. You sat down next to him on the sofa, as he slowly opened the present. Massimo undid the white bow tie, then unwrapped the blue wrapping paper, never leaving your eyes.

You smiled at Massimo when he opened the small carbon box in his hands and froze. He took out the white stick that was showing two pink lines and then looked at you. Massimo was too shocked to talk, and his tears were evidence of that.

It was a miracle that you were pregnant. Ten years ago, when Massimo was shot and his father was killed, he got the news that changed his life. He had survived an attempted murder but lost his chance to become a father. The chances of him becoming father were almost non-existent. Over the years he had reconciled that he will not have children, and once Massimo told you that you were free to leave him because of that.

You stayed, knowing that without him, you were nothing. Massimo came into your life as a savior, to save you from the darkness, but in the end, you saved him too. Doctors had said that chances were very low, even with artificial insemination, but you both managed to beat it all and become pregnant without trying.

When you saw these pink lines appear in the morning, you could not stop crying. It was a real miracle that you will always be thankful for. You and Massimo had talked about adoption, but it always ended with a fight and a make-up sex later. As much as you were ready to be a parent, you were not sure that you would be able to love a baby that was not genetically yours. There would always be fear that his or her real parents would show up and take him or her away from you. It would break you, so you both decided that it was not an option.

Massimo took his eyes off the pregnancy test and looked into your eyes that were full of tears too. “I’m pregnant, Massimo. We are going to have a baby!” It took him about three seconds to throw the stick on the glass coffee table and take you in his arms. You were wrapped in his large embrace and your husband’s wet cheek was pressed against yours.

“We are going to have a baby.” He whispered and put one of his hands on your flat belly. “A baby.”

You put your hand over his large one and said. “Our baby.”

farfalla- butterfly

#365 days #365 dni #massimo torricelli #michele morrone #massimo torricelli x reader #365 days imagine #365 days fanfiction #365 days fic

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justonemorechapternicercy · 3 years

Note

Hello, Gen! ^-^ Random, but - High Warlock!Nico/Shadowhunter!Percy headcanons??? (the thought process behind that was that I've been thinking about a Teen Wolf/Shadowhunter crossover these days, which brought me to your Teen Wolf/Percy Jackson crossover and thus, to close the circle, I came back to an old fave and got curious! :D)

Okay, okay, okay.

So-

- Hades is the demon parent - obviously. Nico grew up in the Republic of Venice (La Serenissima), with his sister around the 15th century (just because Renaissance 😍). Maria was the daughter of the current Doge that time, but they tended to die suddenly. How tragic.

- But it was really tragic, because Maria was also murdered when he was, leaving Bianca and Nico orphans, in need to flee from Venice. Rome, here they come!

- Unfortunately, it wasn't the best choice, because after awhile, Bianca caught the attention of Cesare Borgia, and she, too, was killed. After that, Nico spent some years in a rage, letting his demonic side out.

- It was not a nice decade. Century? A few centuries at the most.

- After that, he traveled around the world, afloat, trying to find some reason for his existence.

- He found one: his half-sister from his father's side, Hazel, and her lovers, Frank (vampire) and Leo (warlock).

- Right. I forgot to mention his demon mark is his completely black eyes, silver claws and bat wings. (Hazel's is her golden, cat-like eyes and her ridiculously fluffy cat ears.)

- Nico never stepped a foot into Venice over the centuries (not until his honeymoon with his husband leads to there, wanting to introduce him to his family).

- He didn't really want to become a High Warlock, especially not of San Francisco, because that city was too dark, had too many criminals (both mundane and downworlder) and the Shadowhunters were too racists, but. Hazel and her husbands found home there, so what could he do? Leave them alone to fend for themselves? Obviously not.

- So, he started cleaning up a bit around his home, starting with the current High Warlock, and the other underworld leaders who tried to manipulate, hurt, and/or kill his family members.

Hmmm...

- Percy Jackson's father was a Circle member, so he is not in his life, but because his mother is a good little Shadowhunter, they are just under mild suspicion.

- His parabatai is Grover. (You can't convince me otherwise u.u)

- His mother, seeing the Lightwoods not really wanting another kid, adopted Jace. Because I want Jace and Percy to be brothers, dammit!

- They grew up with the Lightwoods, the Chases (as in Annabeth, Grover, and Luke Case) and the Graces, so the New York Institute, despite of the adults' effort to make it unpleasant, was always full of life. Sure, they learned everything, and when they needed to be, they were serious, but- Honestly. Nine kids growing up together? Sounds chaotic ngl.

- Mostly everything happened as in the show with Clary, so hello, eleven teenagers, a child and two immortals (Sounds exhausting...)!

- Okay, so. Because they have more people, more trusted friends, some things happens differently. Especially that they don't let the Clave take over the Institute. (Honestly, Annabeth and Izzy, then Clary and Lydia working together? They could take over the whole world.)

- Jace and Percy are proud pansexuals. (Sally would never allow them to be ashamed for their sexuality u.u) Because of this, it is Jace, who realizes his crush on Alec, and asks him on a date, regardless of them being parabatai. So, a fairly confident pair meet with Magnus, who immediately notices them. I mean, how could he not?!

- As they need all help they could get, Magnus calls for his old friend, Nico, who, redundantly, but decides to help them out. And when he steps out of his portal, how glad he is for his decision! That pretty, green-eyed Shadowhunter is really, really, really yummy looking.

- But there is no time for romance, no matter what the happy threesome... Raphael and Simon... Izzy and Lydia... Annabeth and Clary (or is it Izzy and Clary, Lydia and Annabeth? 🤔 Percy doesn't know. The answer is: it's all the four together) and all of their happiness seems to suggest.

- So, they wait. And flirt with each other. And irritate the others with their UST.

- But then finally, the war ends, everything is peaceful and the future is full of hope, so of course it is time for their first date!

- It goes horribly wrong. Percy is late because he had a Downworlder problem; the restaurant Nico choose has to be evacuated because of faulty pipes; the hamburger place throws them out for being gay; and when they finally find a nice pizzeria that is up to Nico's standards, he is called away for an emergency.

- It is a complete disaster. They are conflicted, think that it was a sign that it is just not meant to be, but Jace, Grover and Annabeth throw him through Magnus' portal before he could completely close himself off of having a warlock boyfriend.

- He lands in Nico's lap.

- They end up married. Well. Not that day.

- That day they decide that who cares about "real" dates, if they could hug, and talk, and spend time together without even going out? They know each other, they obviously like each other, it's not like they need that awkward stage in their relationship where they don't know anything about the other and their expectations.

- But they do end up getting married. And have a ceremony where they connect their lives together literally, so that they would live until the other lives.

- While Percy moves to San Francisco, there's a constant portal between Nico's and Magnus' place, so basically the friend group spend just as much time together as they did before, just now they have Nico, Hazel, Frank and Leo as well.

- Izzy is their surrogate, because she looks the closest to Nico, so when their little daughter is born with Percy's fluffy hair, and dark brown eyes, similar to Nico's, she looks as the perfect combination of the two of them. Their second child is an abandoned Downworlder with fluffy, blue, feather-y hair and curious, yellow eyes.

- They have two dogs and a cat. Obviously. u.u

I... I think that's all for today, but it's more than I thought I would have for you when I started to write the answer 😅 I hope you like it 😅😚 even if it is not exactly what you asked for 💀

#well #that almost seems like a fic wanting to write itself #🤔#it looks suspiciously like a bulletpoint fic not headcanons #oops #phoe 💕#percy jackson #nico di angelo #nicercy #percico #pjo #pjoverse #shadowhunters #crossover #ask

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redroomwidows · 4 years

Text

Love Story

SUMMARY: Y/n and Bucky are in love, despite the issues life throws at them.

based off the song ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift. This is for Valentines day and in honour of Taylor releasing her first re-recorded song!

WORD COUNT: 1735

WARNINGS: Swearing, a little bit of angst. My lack of 40s knowledge and protective father knowledge.

Happy valentines day! Even if you don’t have anyone to celebrate it with, treat yourself!

40s! Bucky Barnes x fem! reader

If anyone were to describe Bucky Barnes, it would be as a ladies' man. He could smile at a girl and they’d fall instantly in love before he’s even said his name. Bucky didn’t hate this, in fact he used it to his advantage many times, however eventually it got tiring. He felt like he was expected to be charming and endearing all the time. But on some nights, he just wanted to go out with Steve, he didn’t want to go dancing, he just wanted to have a beer with his friend

Today was one of those days. He’d entered the bar in hopes of sitting down and having a few laughs with his friend, however the two had seemed to forget it was dancing night. As soon as they entered all eyes were on Bucky, but he just smiled, slightly embarrassed, and walked with Steve to get them a table.

The night wasn’t as bad as he expected it to be, him and Steve still had fun, even though the numerous ladies giving Bucky the eyes from halfway across the room was staring to get on Steve’s nerves. Eventually, Bucky let his eyes wander through the crowd and they land on a woman in the corner. Bucky’s eyes widen slightly, she was gorgeous. Her hair was down in the usual pin curls he’d seen, but her face looks painted on, like she was a goddess from a painting made long ago. He’d seen her before, but she always hid in the corner with her friend, hiding her face slightly. But today, it was clear she’d had a bit to drink and she was laughing loudly and Bucky couldn't help but keep staring. The woman turns slightly, feeling eyes on her and when she catches Bucky, she gives him a small smile.

“I’ll be back,” He says quickly to Steve, standing.

“Buck…” Steve sighs “You said you wouldn’t. Not tonight -”

“I know...Look one dance,” he raises his index finger and Steve nods, knowing it was a lie but he wanted to go home now anyway. The Bar was slowly emptying out and only a few already established couples were sat at tables or dancing.

Bucky makes his was across the dance floor and his target looks up slightly.

“Hey,” he introduces himself “I’m Bucky,”

“Y/n,” she introduced herself, putting her hand out for him to shake, but instead he takes it in his hand and kisses it, maintaining eye contact with her. Instead of blushing as he expects though, she laughs. And right then, is when Bucky decides he wanted to marry her.

Y/n and Bucky met several times after that night, either accidentally, or they arranged to do something together. Eventually, those arrangements turned into dates and the two were quickly falling in love.

Bucky always tried to walk Y/n home, but whenever they got to the end of her street, she’d insist she could go on her own. Her father was...protective to say the least and she didn’t need him to know about her growing relationship with Bucky. She wanted him to know, god she wanted her whole family to know. But her father would never even let her have a chance to speak.

“Let me walk you home tonight doll,” Bucky starts and Y/n stop in her tracks, looking up at her boyfriend

“I’ll be fine Buck, it’s barely two minute walk,”

“I know, but I want to be a real gentleman, walk you to the door,”

“You are a real gentleman,” Y/n smiles, reaching to hold Bucky’s cheek

“I don’t feel like one when I don’t get to kiss you goodnight in front of your door,”

“Maybe I’m not a real lady hm?” Y/n smiles

“No, that can’t be right,” Bucky shakes his head and Y/n laughs, leaning to press a soft kiss to his lips.

Bucky smiles into the kiss, pulling Y/n in closer by the hips, there’s a moment of calm before a car drives past, and Y/n's eyes widen as she recognises the car “oh shit,”

“What?” Bucky turns and the car stops as a man leans over and winds the window down.

“Y/n…” the man starts.

“Dad,” she responds and Bucky’s eyes widen as well and he lets go of his girlfriend, attempting to wipe her lipstick from his lips “This is Bucky my um…”

“I don’t care. Get in the car Y/n,”

“Dad - I’m not a kid anymore. I can go out with who I like,”

“Not while you live under my roof,”

“Dad!”

“Get in the car!” he continues and Y/n sighs, giving Bucky’s hand a squeeze with a sad smile as she gets into the backseat “Stay away,” he drives off and Y/n sighs, banning her head against the window.

When back inside the house, Y/n goes immediately up the stairs “Oh, so you’re ignoring me now?” her father asks

“Yes, I am,”

“Who even was he?”

“He was my boyfriend dad!” Y/n turns “and you just forced me into the car and home when I was on a date,”

“I’ve never met him before, how can he be your boyfriend?”

“You’ve never met him because of this,” Y/n gestures, turning around as tears well in her eyes, she didn’t want her father to stop her from seeing Bucky. She was a grown adult for fucks sake, yet her father still thought he had control over her.

“I’m a grown adult, I’m allowed to go on dates and have a boyfriend, I’m allowed to be in love,”. Y/n rushes up the stairs, sitting down calmly on her bed as she lets the tears fall, burying her face in her hands.

The weeks and months following that night, were full of secret meetings and sneaking out of the house for Y/n. Her father had told her to stop seeing Bucky, but she didn’t listen and Bucky would do anything to keep seeing her, so he dealt with the scolding from Steve and the sadness that flooded through him whenever his and Y/n’s time together was cut short.

“Y/n,” Bucky says one night when they’re lying in the grass of a park a few blocks from Y/n’s house.

“Hm?” she answers, looking over at him

“I uh -” he’s unsure how to say it, unsure how to tell his love he’s leaving

“What is it Buck?” She’s concerned now, he’s never normally this quiet.

“I got my orders. I’m leaving for England in a few days,”

It takes her a minute to process what he’s just said “England?”

“Yeah,” Bucky grabs her hand, giving it a squeeze “I - I don’t expect you to wait for me,”

“Of course, I’ll wait for you!” Y/n nearly shouts and she leans over so she’s straddling Bucky “Of course I’ll wait, I’ll write letters, I’ll visit Steve, I’ll take care of Becca. I’ll do anything you need okay?”

“I just - You could have anyone and what If I don’t come back?”

“You will come back,” Y/n says firmly “You’ll come back because the woman who loves you will be right here,”

“Love?”

“Yeah, Love,” Y/n smiles leaning down to kiss Bucky slowly “I love you Bucky Barnes. More than any words can describe”.

Y/n said she’d write and she did, her and Bucky exchanged letters as often as they can. Sometimes Y/n felt like she was just writing into nothingness, but then every few months she’d get a reply that responded to everything she’d said. However, at one point there was nothing for so long Y/n got worried, she was scared. What of he’d been taken captive? What if he was unable to write? What if he’d - she could never fully finish that thought.

Her family had told her to stop writing, to move on and go out dancing again. Maybe she’d find another man. But most of the men were gone at this point, even if Y/n had the thought of leaving Bucky, which she never did.

She wished Bucky would come back, that he’d kiss her on the lips and say everything would be alright, that he was safe and happy. Bur she doubted that would happen, she was coming to expect the letter so many others had received.

Ultimately, Y/n had to stop sending letters, the pain of not receiving anything back was becoming too much. She had spent weeks in her room, but eventually her mother had forced her out, telling her to go for a walk around the park. It was evening by now and most the kids were gone now, Y/n felt like it was just her there and she found herself returning to the spot her and Bucky used to lay in the middle of the night.

“Hey,” A familiar voice calls and Y/n turns around and she lets out a small, quiet laugh.

“Hey,” Y/n smiles, but before she can rush into Bucky’s arms, she notices his left one in a sling.

“I uh, got sent home, can’t really fire a gun,” he laughs slightly and Y/n runs to him, making sure to lean into his right side, he hugs her back and when they pull apart, both can see the other is crying.

“I missed you, I missed you so much,” Y/n cups Bucky’s face in her hands, examining his face for any cuts or scars.

“Me too doll,” Bucky smiles and lets Y/n press a kiss to his lips.

“I’m sorry for stopping writing. I got scared and -”

“I know,” Bucky nods “It’s okay, I know,” Y/n could barely breathe when she looked at Bucky, he looked different, older sadder, and it broke her heart. However, behind it all was the familiar shine Y/n saw that night when she said she loved him.

“I wanted to ask you something,”

“Anything,” Y/n smiles and Bucky steps back, reaching into his pocket

“I uh, bought this before I left. I wanted to ask but I didn’t want you feeling more. alone,” He slowly lowers himself to the ground and Y/n widens her eyes.

“I don’t want to leave you again, I don’t want to read letters about your life, I want to experience it with you and I don’t want it to be a secret. I spoke to your dad, he said he approved and -”

“Yes,” Y/n answers instantly and a wide smile graces her face, the biggest smile that’d graced her face in months.

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"

want to be added to my taglist?

bucky barnes taglist:

@buckysbeloved

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #winter solider x reader #40s!bucky x reader #40s!bucky imagine #marvel x reader #mcu x reader

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sweetsubharry · 4 years

Note

hi! can you give me your hottest, dirtiest, filthiest bottom harry fics?

Hiya!! Yes I can! ^-^

Now there are 41 different fics under this list, so it’s quite long! Obviously what people find dirty/filthy can be a large range, so if you ever want to narrow it down just send another message like ‘no plot’ for example :) and then I can make it more suited to your taste if this one isn’t! I hope you enjoy this though love ❤

In case no one gets to the bottom of the page I’ll say it again here too! Please make sure to stay safe and read the tags!! ❤ ❤

you're my favorite ride by louislovesharry

no summary

At Least As Deep As the Pacific Ocean (I wanna be yours) by babylouis

Louis can’t help but stop and watch him for a moment, how beautiful he looks, sprawled out on the bed, his cock red and hard against his tummy, collar snug against his neck and the bow still placed neatly in his curls to keep them back from Harry’s face.

His boy may be the most beautiful creature on the planet.

Especially tied up like this, body begging to be fucked. Begging to be destoryed.

Louis likes to push boundaries, and Harry takes what he gets. Lots of subspace Harry and fonding Louis ensues.

redder than the devil by mercutionotromeo

It's half past 9, and all Harry wants is for Louis to touch him. Preferably after a good spanking.

If you combine a lazy Saturday afternoon with a distracting, pouty Harry, you'll end up with Louis spanking his baby over his knee in the middle of a paused FIFA match.

Pretty please, take care of me ? by kurtcobain

Louis is stressed. Harry wants to help.

Step into the Light by Smolbeanandhisqween

Harry is on the set of his new music video "Lights Up". His husband, Louis, is watching him film the video. He gets jealous of all of the people touching Harry and teaches him a lesson.

Destroy Me, King by stylinsexualxo

After SNL, jealous Louis has a little surprise for Harry when he arrives home.

Can We Pretend (honestly reality bores me) by SadaVeniren

He felt Louis chuckle. “Dreaming of being my supportive, no-name boyfriend again?”

“Always,” Harry whispered. It was true. After all this time together there was no point in hiding any of his fantasies from Louis, no matter how innocent they were. So Louis was well aware of Harry’s desire to be anonymous sometimes - the “no-name” as Louis called him - loyal, a constant presence at Louis’ side.

aka Harry comes and supports Louis at his Scala concert

Let Me Be Good For You by onlyhuman for haroldtbh

His distress over the bun is nothing compared to the thrill Louis feels shoot up his spine at the outfit Harry’s donned. He’s changed into leather jeans that cling to his legs, hugging his thighs snugly. On top of it, a floaty, black sheer shirt is contouring his frame, doing absolutely nothing to hide his puffy nipples or the endless array of tattoos scattered across his torso. It’s Louis’ favourite outfit in the entire world.

Or, Niall's only birthday wish is to go clubbing with his boys in Vegas. Harry ruins it all by wearing that god forsaken black sheer shirt.

You Like Playing Games by orphan_account

Louis knows Harry likes to flirt and tease. Louis knows that he doesn’t particularly like when Harry flirts and teases. Louis knows that Harry knows that Louis doesn’t particularly like it.

But what Louis doesn’t quite know is why, despite that, Harry’s decided to grind against 5 Seconds of Summer’s Luke Hemmings during “Teenage Dirtbag” in the last show in Melbourne.

Basically pure smut.

Do Not Disturb (kiss me beneath the milky twilight) by SadaVeniren

“I was talking with Nick a couple months back and he was saying how our sex life seemed boring and we’d need to keep doing new and interesting things to keep it exciting or else we’d become boring and heterosexual and I defended us of course but then work picked up and we started living off of studio handjobs and missionary position sex in the dark and so I panicked. I googled BDSM and after looking into it I really want to try some of it because I think we’d enjoy it but we just don’t have the time.”

aka Harry doesn't want to become a boring old married couple a year into their relationship and tries to spice up their sex life.

Forgetting Frisco by iwillpaintasongforlou

Harry probably knew when he decided to wear that goddamn sheer shirt onstage in Toronto that it was going to drive Louis absolutely insane with want. He probably didn't know that Louis was going to proceed to fuck him so good he had flashbacks for years to come just like Frisco, but then again, you won't hear him complaining.

(Basically 6k of Louis worshipping Harry's body and doing it all in front of a mirror so Harry can worship, too.)

Mon Petit by coffinofachimera

Harry wears the 'Mon Petit' sweater while Louis records them on their private

falling for you, i can't keep away by hegotthedagger plane

Harry wants Louis really bad and Louis might want him just as much.

Always In My Heart by sweaterpawstyles

The tweet itself was not startling at all. Harry saw people retweet it nearly every day for years now. It always made him smile to see how many people had retweeting Louis showing his love for Harry on that day.

What was startling was underneath where the fan had retweeted it, Harry saw the small number 1M written on it.

Harry froze, completely unable to move anything in his body. He knew Louis had the second most retweeted tweet of all time, but it reached a million retweets. One million people believed in Louis' love for Harry. Or AIMH hits 1 million & facetime sex ensues

You and Me by louisgrindsonharry

Harry and Louis have dabbled in the idea of BDSM but Harry finally wants to take it farther and Louis has to figure out how to take care of his boy.

they shake, you conquer (and I'm left to their devices) by butidontreallycare

smut. a little love for Harry's thighs, but mostly just smut. I am not ashamed

Daddy Came Home by RuinedBy5Guys

“You got yourself off.” He says quietly, his eyes locked on Harry’s. Harry’s face flushes and he tries to cover it, shoving himself towards Louis. He drops to his knees, leaning close between his husbands spread thighs. He puts his hands on his dress pants, carefully feeling the material at his knees.

“How did you know?” He asks quietly. Louis drops his face, grabbing over Harry’s hands with his own. Harry lowers his gaze, staring at the carpet underneath him.

“You were asleep. You always get tired after an orgasm. Not to mention how flushed you are.” He says quietly, raking his eyes over Harry’s body. Harry glances up at him, his actions becoming more clear to him now that Louis was home.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, dropping his eyes again.

“What was that?” Louis snaps, reaching to bring Harry’s face up again. Harry gulps, shuffling closer on his knees, the joints aching already.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Harry says, his green eyes locked on Louis’ blue ones. Louis smiles slightly, stroking his fingers over his husbands cheeks softly.

“Just gonna have to spank you now, aren’t I?”

OR... Harry teases and Daddy punishes him in the best ways possible

take me into your loving arms by blankiehxrry

twas the night of the brit awards

I Wanna Do What Bunnies Do With You by MoreThanTonight

“Lou.. Not here?” Harry pulled off with a gasp. “There are people in the next room. What if they hear us?“

“Then I guess you’ll just have to be quiet, won’t you, love?” Louis winked.

It's Harry's birthday and Louis wants to make it a birthday he won't forget. Louis is an art student, Harry is his boyfriend and muse.

if they find out, will it all go wrong? by blankiehxrry

madison square garden shenanigans

Happy Birthday by sleepingalone

“You wanna use that right now?” he asked incredulously, wondering how horny Louis must be. They had just fucked a few hours ago, before falling asleep. Surely he didn’t want to use it already.

“You said we had to wait till my birthday, and it’s my birthday,” Louis said cheekily, throwing Harry a small grin. Harry groaned into the pillow, burying his head in it.

“But I’m tired, Lou. I need my beauty rest.”

“I already undid the packaging,” Louis whined. “Please, can we just do it real quick? It would really make my day. My birthday,” he added. “You can go to sleep afterwards, Sleeping Beauty.”

Louis just really wants to use his new vibrating butt plug on Harry and turn him into a broken mess.

I Knew Right From the Beginning That You Would End Up Winning by aalexandravictoriaa

"I remember the first day I met you," Louis says, using his thumbs to make Harry open up to him even more. "I remember wanting to take you right there on the fucking street. I wanted to bend you over and bury myself in you over and over again. I couldn't then, but I'm going to now, baby. First with my tongue, then with my cock."

Harry is Louis' favorite camboy and Louis becomes his Daddy.

In Motion by FictitiousFanatisch (orphan_account)

They'd only talked about it once a few weeks ago. Harry always liked it when Louis was in control and he said there was something about being denied constantly that made him even more turned on.

It's a lazy day and Harry wants Louis to edge him. (That's literally it.)

I'm Gonna Love You (Until You Hate me) by sweaterpawstyles

As if reading his mind, Louis glanced over his glasses at Harry, presumably because Harry didn't reply to his statement earlier.

"I decided to get my glasses out again," he chuckled, winking at Harry. "Do you like them?"

Harry felt his face heat up. No, he didn't just like them. He fucking loved them and wanted to ride Louis and call him daddy while he wore them. But he didn't want to just tell Louis this.

Louis wears glasses and Harry doesn't like to be teased

I have often prayed for an angel by orphan_account

“Daddy,” he whines, voice already growing high in pitch. “Can I? Please?” “Of course angel,” Louis whispers fondly, hand tangling in Harry’s hair as he brushes it back. He loves Harry’s long strands, maybe even more than Harry does himself. “You look so beautiful on your knees like that, so eager to suck my cock.” “Mhm,” Harry hums, already licking at Louis’ slit. He begins to suckle softly at the head, peering up at Louis with wide eyes. The angel wings stretch on either side of him, and it’s so obscene, how filthy the act they’re doing is in contrast to the white feathers adorning Harry’s back. “Love your cock Daddy.” Or, the one in which Louis fucks Harry in the VS wings after he wears them onstage.

down and dirty, you're loving me so loud by orphan_account

Harry's finally twenty and there's a few things he wants.

feels so good getting what i want. by stylescantstop

Harry is a slutty yoga teacher with his sights set on Louis and Louis wants to pull that long hair of his while he fucks him really hard from behind.

Empyrean, You Fool by becauseitrhymes

Louis only realized it was actually happening once the reality of getting to carry boxes to his new flat settled in. He’d moved out of his parent’s just two days prior, with a stomach full of butterflies and no knowledge of how to do anything remotely adult, like, at all.

He’s only twenty-three years old, too, and he thinks he’s done pretty well for such a young age, considering he’s bought a flat with his money and had driven his car to get there and hadn’t cried (much) when leaving his parents. All in all, Louis thinks it’s pretty cool.

And then he’s sitting on his couch watching football in his lounge in his flat and hell yeah, it’s pretty cool.

AU where Louis moves next door to Harry, Louis falls in love with Harry, sex ensues.

Love Me Like You Do by sweaterpawstyles

Of all of the things Louis had imagined, never did he expect to become a chief editor for a magazine and to date the world-famous model Harry Styles. But he certainly never imagined one day that he would be anxiously awaiting a phone call from the top floor of an office building to tell the Harry Styles to get himself dolled up and ready to wait for his Daddy to come home before he got fucked into the mattress.

Harry is a famous model and Louis is a quiet writer who may or may not be his Dom

A Hard Day's Work by louisruinedlife (orphan_account)

A bad day at work for Harry usually means turning in early. A bad day at work for Louis leads to something else entirely.

*Can be read as a stand alone.

the big idea by orphan_account

University students Harry and Zayn are filming a prank for YouTube that requires Harry to walk around campus asking random men if he could suck their dick. One of the guys, Louis, who agrees to such offer is too attractive for Harry to pass down.

He doesn't think its much of a prank anymore after that.

throw me in the deep end, watch me drown by orphan_account

“That's why you were late, eh?” he teases as Harry frantically tries to hide the dildos and the collar in the drawer. “Having too much fun to think about good ole Louis?”

“You were having fun too,” Harry replies weakly. Louis honestly has never seen a person be in such a shade of red.

“Yeah, but my fun didn't involve colourful dildos and nipple clamps.”

or the one where louis really needs to pass his a-levels and harry is his tutor who doesn’t really own a dog.

Give It To Me (I'm Worth It) by sweaterpawstyles

"Who the hell puts lube packets in their sock?"

"A boy who wanted to get fucked in the locker room by his daddy," Harry said innocently. "I have my good intentions, Lou."

Louis can't resist Harry in the red shorts that he wore during the James Corden skit. Featuring locker room sex.

don't let nobody touch it (unless that somebody's me) by stylescantstop

written for this prompt:

"louis knows Harry gets handsy when he's drunk, but that doesn't stop him from showing harry who he belongs to."

or the one where harry dances with other men and a jealous louis reminds him he's the only one who can make him come completely apart.

causing trouble up in hotel rooms (baby, I'm perfect) by felixandtae

A fan threw a Green Bay Packers crop top on stage and Harry kept it. We all know what happened after that.

sweet like cinnamon by brainwaves for SuburbanWarrior

It all started with bumping into Louis at Gemma’s mate’s wedding. Well, maybe it really started with Harry making heart eyes at the boy in jersey number 17 all those years ago. Now all he can think about is getting into Louis’ pants and maybe staying there for a really, really long time.

Or the one where Harry calls Louis daddy and it all spirals out of control from there.

Fulfilling Your Needs by unmeshed

“You want to be messy, baby? Filled with Daddy’s come? So much that you can barely hold it all in?"

Harry nods softly and Louis leans in to kiss him on the lips with a smile. “Want Daddy to plug you up after? Keep it inside of you all day?"

“Lou,” Harry whines, softly rubbing himself against his boyfriend, biting down on Louis’ bottom lip before he deepens the kiss, sneaking his tongue inside.

Louis’ll be damned if he can’t make Harry’s dreams come true.

Louis buys Harry an ejaculating dildo because Harry wants to feel full.

Like a Kitten by peaceloveandlarry

"Erm, I, uh, well, I think... I think you're really pretty, and I, um, I want to fuck you- I mean! Oh god. I- I want to go out? Yea! I want to go out."

Or Harry likes to wear kitten ears, and Louis happens to think Harry looks nice with them.

into another serotonin overflow by mercutionotromeo

Harry's the yearbook photographer who's been assigned to take pictures of Louis, the new captain of the football team. Harry's got a massive, obvious crush on Louis and somehow, Louis feels the same way.

Sweet first time sex wherein Harry's adorably awkward, Louis is achingly cool, and Harry rides Louis wearing his jersey.

need a little sweetness in my life by mercutionotromeo

Harry's always liked feeling desperate and small when Louis touches him, but when he sucks Harry off...it’s fucking otherworldly. Desperate’s not really the word at that point - it’s helpless. Like… like the fucking world could stop spinning and Harry wouldn’t be able to do anything about it until Louis finished him off with his lips and his tongue.

Or, Harry and Louis go to university together. Harry really likes it when Louis sucks him off, and Louis really likes it when Harry calls him Daddy.

(Sequel to "into another serotonin overflow")

Cheeky Princess by Noelle1224

Harry and panties. What more is there to explain?

I'm Tired Of Using Technology, I Need You Right In Front Of Me by Phillipa19

Louis goes away on yet another business trip, but when he stops calling Harry to check in, Harry decides to take matters into his own hands.

OR- Louis is Harry's sugardaddy who has gone away on business and Harry feels neglected. Louis is possessive and gets a camera installed in their bedroom so he can check up on Harry, so Harry decides to use the camera to his advantage.

Got A Lot You Wanna Show Off Baby by Phillipa19

Louis had been in meetings all day, he should have known that Harry wouldn't be ignored for much longer.

-OR-

Louis is Harry's sugardaddy and his younger boyfriend is definitely not happy being ignored whilst Louis holds meetings in his home office. There may also be Harry in lacy knickers involved.

As always please make sure to stay safe and read the tags!! ❤ ❤

#Larry Stylinson #fic rec #fanfiction #fanfic #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson fanfiction #larry fic #larry fic rec #larry fanfic rec #larry stylinson fic rec #bottom harry #top louis #sub harry #dom louis #smut #I'm probably going to hell for some of these #ask lots #Lottie fic rec

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maccreadysimp · 3 years

Text

breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant

#mine #shameless #ian gallgher #gallavich #mickey milkovich #text post

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wonniexy · 3 years

Text

# MISSING PUZZLE PIECES NEED TO BE FOUND | yang jungwon.

— 8784 HOURS: OUCH, I FELL FOR YOU

words: 2k

pairing: JUNGWON x reader x jay (mentioned)

genre: angst.

spirit!jungwon, fantasy!au, boyfriend!jay

cw/tw: language, mention of death, angst, lost love

notes: I wasn't planning on making this into a angst chapter :((( + it is not proofread! Beware of grammatical errors!

prompt: 70. "Stop visiting me! It's getting pretty annoying..." "Shut up, you love it when you get to see my face."

Sleep.

How beautiful is it to lay your head on the pillow, after a day of those that feel way too though, close your eyes and immediately go on a journey into one of the parallel worlds that your mind can create every time Morpheus takes you in his arms?

It's beautiful, for you. Almost magical.

Except for those nights when the dear son of Ipno and Nyx decides not to turn into a dream, but into something you've started to hate since a few months ago. And the fact that, each time, you manage to wake up but the thing doesn't seem to want to go away, is making you, simply put, freak out. Completely.

Or, at least, that is what you tell yourself.

You sigh heavily as you manage to open your eyes and stare at the figure sitting comfortably cross-legged at the end of your twin bed. He's smiling, the bastard, you think.

"Could you please stop, what do you call it? Visiting me? It's getting pretty annoying."

"Oh, shut up." He replies, with his usual giggle that, though you'd never admit it, always manages to make you smile internally. "You love it when you get to see my face."

"I'd have to argue with that." You say, crinkling your tired eyes. You yawn. "What do you want now, Jungwon? What do I get this time? What did I do?"

"Oh," the boy, or he who, long ago, had been a boy, begins, settling in closer to you and shaking his head so that his thick brown hair becomes more shaggy, "I'm not here by anyone's will but my own. I have the night off." He shrugs.

You look at him, gripped by an innate desire to choke him with your own hands, and clench your hands into fists. "If you have the night off, why the fuck are you here?"

"To talk?"

"At three in the morning?"

"It's the only time I can interact with anyone - you, so yes. At three in the morning."

"Jungwon..."

"Y/n..."

"Fuck you! Go back to wherever you came from and leave me alone!" You yell, grabbing the pillow from behind your back and throwing it in Jungwon's direction.

"You're looking pretty aggressive tonight." Jungwon scoffs, promptly grabbing the pillow before it can even think of having a chance to hit him. "Did something happen?"

You roll your eyes, only to sit up and hit the covers furiously. "Jay." You say. "Jay happened."

"Why am I not surprised at all?" Jungwon laughs a little. "What did he do this time?"

You scoff. "What he does every time: he doesn't listen to me." You close your eyes and sigh, only to bring your hands to your face and scream, or something purportedly similar, all your anger into them.

"He left me, again. Meaning, we broke up. I guess. He says he loves me, then he suddenly doesn't anymore. Then he loves me again. And I... I try to explain everything to him, Jungwon." You look at your friend (the one you tell yourself you can't stand), sitting next to you but still too far away to be touched. You start to cry in frustration and close your eyes again.

"I try. I always try to tell him that whatever happens can be fixed and it can be fixed if we work together."

If only your eyes were open and looking in front of you, you might see Jungwon's face sadden. It's not the first time he's seen you in this condition: desperate, crying, scared. All because of what you call your boyfriend three times a week and four times not.

Jungwon might lie, now. Lie, again. Lie like he has been doing for the past seven month and a half when he visited you every night, without missing one: despite the fact that you were asleep and couldn't feel his presence. Lie like he has done in his previous life, even if this isn't his second one.

This time, though, lying doesn't seem to make sense to him anymore. It's wearing him down. It reminds him of the time when he was alive and telling lies led him to survive one more day, until there were no more days and he couldn't help it anymore.

You don't really cry; you've never really been able to. Not for Jay and your entire relationship (if that'swhat it can be called), at least. You have your hands clenched tightly on the blankets and you open your eyes almost with difficulty, as your slight sobs subside in the warmth of Jungwon's hand on your covered by a faint layer of cloth shoulder.

Never before had you felt his touch.

He told you he couldn't touch you, or he would have had to leave. Forever.

He told you it was one of the rules he had to follow to make himself earn a new life to live to the fullest, this time.

But now his hand is on your shoulder, and you seem to panic, because even though you can't stand his nocturnal visits, you love him. You love him like he was your long lost brother. He listened to you, all this time. You know a lot about him, as well. You hit it off, as he would normally say.

You don't want him to leave.

"Why did you do that?" You ask, your eyes wide and trembling and your gaze leaping from his hand to his face." You had... You said you weren't allowed to...why- are you fucking out of your mind?" Tears threaten to fall down and you try raising one of your hand to grab his arm and move it away from you before it's too late, even if you don't know when too late is.

"Oh, shut up." Jungwon says, almost laughing – his usual, playful laugh, despite the tone of his voice hinting at unspeakable sadness. "I don't have much time, now, so you're going to listen to me, okay?"

You nod, slowly, in rhythm with what you wish were your own beats.

"I have loved in the past. In my only life." Jungwon begins. "Maybe even too much. And I've lost. Not by my own will, but by the will of something that, even if I fought hard against, I could not bring down. I never let go, or threw down the sword of my love, because that person...oh, y/n, that person was my person. The one. The missing piece of my personal puzzle."

His hand burns on your shoulder, and each sounding word pierces your heart. Ij between tears, you begin to wonder if Jay is the missing piece of your puzzle, if you are the one of his own, or if both of you are the missing piece of someone else's puzzle, lost and hidden among a thousand other pieces and a thousand other boxes.

"And it was like that. That person completed the puzzle perfectly. We could have been framed, placed in plain sight on the largest wall of a luxury home, but the whole thing we had got lost. My ultimate puzzle piece was ripped away from me; it was stolen from me, and there was nothing I could do about it. Lying was my job; lying was what I was trained and supposed to do. Lie about who you really love. Marry the one who will help you grow: not growing up, but growing money and success. But I did not want it and, at some point, I messed up. I was no longer able to hide my forbidden love, my real love. I didn't want to. I thought it wasn't fair. And I ended up paying the consequences of my actions. One by one."

Since you've been knowing him, you never saw Jungwon cry: cheerful, carefree, bastard. The spirit, as he called himself (or as you wanted him to call himself), always showed up in your room with mirth etched on his face. You had asked him how his life had ended, he had answered, but it wasn't tragic and it wasn't sadder than any other death.

He just died, peacefully, his children all grown up and his family by his side.

He never talked about his feelings.

This time, however, the story is different and the tears are not only seen: they are felt deep inside. Each of his tears holds sadness, grief, anguish and repentance.

They all flow and flow and flow profusely, without stopping for a single moment and without letting you see Jungwon's languid dark eyes clearly again.

Your tears seem to follow what Jungwon's ones do.

"I come to see you to make sure you don't follow my steps, because we may have a different story, a different way on how we should handle things, but the moral is the same: don't do what can lead you to live unhappily."

Jungwon cries, but he still manages to speak clearly as he always does.

You want to hug him, hold him and apologize for everything, even though you are not to blame. And neither is him.

"You don't have to lie to anyone. You don't have to. Just stop. Stop. Stop." His voice breaks from sobs. "You're only hurting yourself. And I, after tonight, will no longer be here: there will only be a faded memory of me left in your teenage mind, and that memory will fade and fade and fade again, until it becomes a haze. So, do the right thing, okay? For yourself.

I stopped lying, and I lost, because it wasn't what I was meant to do. If you stop lying now, you will win. Because you are free. And you'll be even freer later, and you'll find your missing puzzle piece. You will be able to live with that missing piece, making it into a found one."

Jungwon's presence bothered you, the first few times. Then, it became pleasant, but to him you never admitted it. Now, as you watch his body dressed as a normal 17-year-old in these years (which aren't his, but which he's tried to get used to) slowly fade until it looks like nothing but dust fluttering around your bedroom, you realize you don't want him to leave.

"You're my best friend, Jungwon." You find yourself saying, crying hard and then harder. "You're my best friend, and I hate to tell you this just now. And I want to hug you, tell you that whatever happened in your previous life you didn't deserve it and that I will never forget you. And I'm so fucking sorry, because you're not going to live a second life because you wanted to help me."

He keeps on fading, but his tears don't stop scrolling. Neither do yours.

"I'm going to stop lying, I'm going to listen to you, and I'm not going to forget your eyes, or your deceptive smiles or your laughter and your inappropriate jokes."

You hear him laugh and mutter a few words you could swear by are "I would do this for you again. Give you a chance."

Then, you just know he can't answer you anymore, because he keeps fading, flying, going away, but you hear everything he would like to keep saying to you, and once again, you close your eyes.

This time, to not see him disappear from your life. Forever.

"I will not forget you. I will find my missing piece. I will complete my puzzle. I will always have you as my ally."

"I love you."

What if I told you that Jungwon is smiling, looking at you and hearing your words, wherever he is now?

#enhypenwriters #enhypennetwork #enhypen jungwon #enhypen #jungwon x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen angst

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gins-potter · 4 years

Text

everything will be alright (with you by my side)

@halzekrhodestead sent me these requests literally a million years ago and i’m just now getting around to filling them. sorry about the wait and i hope you enjoy it! yes i know will didn’t do emergency medicine in nyc i just decided to retcon that

Will’s skin practically crawls at the sound of the elegant string music floating out of the ballroom at the top of the stairs. The music is nice enough he supposes, but Will’s never been able to hear violins and not be reminded of the vibrant, boisterous music his mother had filled their home with when he was a child. But maybe it’s not the music at all that sets his teeth on edge, but rather the people lining up to enter the gala, who shed their coats to reveal expensive tuxedos and glamorous dresses. Maybe it’s the glasses of champagne they accept as they step inside, the liquid surely the rarest of vintages and served in undoubtedly crystal flutes.

Beside them, in the tux he’s had since med school, and the tie Connor gave him before they even started dating, Will feels more than a little lackluster.

But, he rationalises to himself, he never did understand the point of hosting a charity event if you were going to blow tens of thousands of dollars just throwing the damn thing. But he knows the cause is important to his boyfriend, so in a surprisingly un-Will-like fashion, he resists the urge to make a comment about it, and instead pastes a pleasant smile on his face. Because after all, he’s not here to make waves; he’s here to be a buffer with a pretty face and make the night as painless as possible.

At least that’s the way Will remembers Connor phrasing it.

Speaking of, beside him Connor takes a deep, shuddering breath as they reach the top of the stairs and the wide double door entrance looms ahead. Pausing at the threshold, Connor slips his hand into Will’s and squeezes gently.

“Hey,” he murmurs, tracing the back of Will’s hand with his thumb. “Thanks for being here?”

Will feels his lips twitch up into a genuine smile despite his surroundings, and says, “Yeah well, you promised you’d do that thing with your tongue that I like if I came, so…”

The words surprise a laugh out of Connor, and he shoots Will a grateful look, before squaring his shoulders, as if emboldened by the exchange and leading his boyfriend inside. Will sighs a little and accepts a glass of champagne, figuring he’s going to need it.

Into the lion’s den they go.

The night starts off well enough, all things considered.

Having been away from the whole scene for so long, Connor is almost immediately swarmed by artificially eager socialites who want all the details on what he’s been up to in recent years. Will watches his boyfriend’s face and knows him well enough to know when he needs to step in and gently shift the subject matter, or when Connor genuinely likes the other person and he can sip his exorbitantly priced champagne and let the conversation wash over him.

His southside accent sticks out like a sore thumb amongst the other guest's polished speech but Will plays it to his favour, working the ‘blue-collar boy who put himself through med school’ angle that they lap up like some of their expensive wine. His father would spit if could see him, and Will hates himself a little bit for doing it, their condescending smiles stoking the embers of that anger. But all it takes is to see the gratefulness in Connor’s eyes to know it’s worth it, and he stamps out those embers enough that they don’t become a raging inferno. Besides, by the pressure of a hand on his lower back, Will can tell that Connor knows exactly what he’s doing and will make it well worth his time when they’re back in their apartment.

They even survive the, thankfully brief, exchange with Connor’s father, it being the first time they’ve met in the year that Will and Connor have been together. It’s polite, and it’s pleasant, and they smile for the benefit of the other guests milling around, but Will doesn’t miss the disapproving glint that enters Cornelius Rhodes’s eyes when Connor introduces him as his boyfriend. And it doesn’t go unnoticed by him either that Connor introduces him as ‘Will’, but Cornelius manages to call him ‘William’ - something even his own father never calls him - a grand total of six times in the space of their three minute conversation.

It makes Will wonder which is a bigger affront to Cornelius: that his son is dating a man, or that he’s dating someone who doesn’t come with a trust fund.

But despite it all they manage to survive the few minutes that the encounter lasts for until Cornelius gets pulled away by another guest and they can escape to the other side of the ballroom. It would have been ideal to avoid him completely, but as a main benefactor of the gala, Cornelius was well and truly in the spotlight, and people would surely talk if the two Rhodes men ignored each other all evening. That was certainly the reason, Connor mutters to Will as they hightail it out of there, that Cornelius had sought them out; it simply would not do for the Rhodes’ to be talked about for anything other than their roaring financial success.

But all in all the evening is going well. Connor works the crowd with Will at his side, charming smile firmly in place as he convinces many of the other guests to sign over large swathes of money to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Connor chats to friends of his late mother, runs into old classmates from high school, and even gets dragged onto the dance floor by his sister. And despite his father’s looming presence, Will can tell his boyfriend is actually starting to enjoy himself.

Which is why he feels comfortable enough to leave Connor in the hands of his sister and escape into a hallway off the ballroom when he overhears a young socialite complain to her friend about the darling little yacht her father refuses to buy her.

What’s a mere three million dollars after all?

He just needs to take a breath away from the music and the lights and the people. But he’s not there for more than a few minutes, when a figure appears at the other end of the hallway, striding towards him.

“Mr Rhodes,” Will says, once he recognises him in the dim lighting. He straightens, and pushes off the wall, a bad feeling growing in the pit of his stomach.

“William Halstead,” Cornelius says slowly, a dangerous smile on his face. Something about the way he says Will’s name has the hair on the back of his neck standing up, and his suspicions are confirmed when Cornelius doesn’t waste time with pleasantries. “William Halstead. Born to Pat and Shannon Halstead, a construction worker and kindergarten teacher from Canaryville. One brother named Jay who was first an Army Ranger and is now a detective with the Chicago Police Department. You went to college out of state, was involved in aid work in Sudan, before studying emergency medicine in New York. You came back to Chicago on a whim to visit your brother, were briefly accused of murder before later being cleared, and decided to move back permanently when you were offered a position at the Gaffney Chicago Medical Center.”

The champagne flute in Will’s hand groans under his tightening grip, but he manages a guarded smile as he says, “I see you’ve looked me up.”

“Oh, I’ve done more than look you up,” Cornelius says ominously. “Which is why I know that despite your best efforts you were unable to secure a scholarship, and the two jobs you worked through medical school barely dented your student loans. So, let’s cut to the chase, William, how much will it take?”

Will blinks, and then laughs uncomfortably, unable, or perhaps unwilling to understand what Cornelius is trying to imply. “I’m sorry, how much will what take?”

Cornelius exhales sharply, as if perturbed by having to explain himself. “How much money will it take to get you to walk away from my son and never look back?”

The words cut like a blade through Will’s chest and his next breath comes out strangled and ragged. “I don’t-”

Cornelius spreads his hands, cutting Will off with ease. “Look, I’m a reasonable man. And I can be very generous when I want to be. Those loans of yours could be taken care of with a single phone call.”

Will seethes at the arrogance of the man before him, and at both the idea of someone being able to clear eight years worth of accumulated debts with half a thought, and at the implication that there was a sum of money large enough to get Will to walk away from Connor.

When he doesn’t answer, Cornelius continues. “I know about you, William, I know your background, and I know that you and my son come from two very different worlds. And I know that when I pass on and my son inherits the empire two generations of Rhodes’ men have built, he’ll do so with someone of the correct social standing by his side. Someone,” he adds, eyeing Will with open disgust. “Who is able to provide a natural continuation of the Rhodes’ line.”

“So,” Will says, realising that he being a man and a poor kid from Canaryville are equal sins in Cornelius’ eyes. “It doesn’t matter to you that your son might be miserable as long as he marries someone you deem socially acceptable?”

Cornelius shrugs carelessly. “I’m sure Connor will be upset for a while, he always was a…. sensitive child.” His lips pull back, more a bearing of his teeth than a true smile. “But I’m also sure that he’ll get over it eventually, and come to realise that I’m right. Hell, he might even thank me for it one day.”

Will wants to tell him that there’s a better chance of hell freezing over than of that happening, but Cornelius has already continued talking.

“So, all that’s left to be settled is the price. Name it and it’s yours.”

Here, Will has to laugh. And not just an awkward or polite chuckle, but a real laugh, the first he’s uttered all night. He laughs, and laughs harder, when Cornelius’s expression becomes pinched.

“Oh, you really thought that because I was still standing here and listening, you were actually going to be able to pay me off?”

Cornelius tries to smile again, but it’s lacking it’s earlier swagger. “‘Pay off’ is such an ugly term, isn’t it? I prefer to think of this as a business deal. One that you would be very stupid to turn down. So be reasonable, William.”

But Will shrugs, grinning effortlessly. “No one has ever accused me of being all that smart. And reasonable? Me being reasonable is walking away from you right now instead of introducing you to the Canaryville version of a no.”

Will idly cracks the knuckles of his right hand, and feels a dark satisfaction when Cornelius’s gaze drops to the hand still hanging by his side. But he doesn’t curl that hand into a fist, doesn’t let himself draw back his elbow and let the punch fly, no matter how good it might feel in the moment. No, instead he just shoves both hands into his suit pockets, shoots Cornelius one more careless grin, and starts to stroll back down the hallway.

“You’re going to regret this, William.”

He almost turns back, but decides it’s not worth it. Besides, he really doesn’t think he is.

Connor is blessedly alone when Will steps back into the ballroom. He hands his glass, still half full, to a passing server with a nod of thanks and beelines for his boyfriend, slipping an arm around his waist and pressing a kiss to his temple when he gets there.

“Hey,” Connor says, leaning into him. “Where did you go?”

“Just out for a breather.” He pauses, then says, “Ran into your father, had an interesting conversation.”

Connor’s eyes darken and he starts to pull away. “What did he say?”

Will huffs a breath of a laugh and tightens his grip, preventing him from leaving. “Nothing. Well, nothing important anyway,” he allows when Connor clearly doesn’t buy it.

He’ll tell him eventually, it’s not the kind of thing he can keep from Connor. But later, when they’re in the privacy of their home, and there’s no chance of Connor ruining a charity gala named in his mother’s honour by punching his father in front of a couple hundred people.

“Will-”

He drops his head and nuzzles the side of Connor’s face for the briefest of moments. “Later,” he murmurs, before pressing another feather light kiss to his skin and drawing away again.

Connor doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t try to pull away again, which is answer enough.

Will grins, his teeth flashing. “Dance with me?”

Connor seems surprised but nods and takes his hand, leading him out amongst the other swaying couples. Will is sure Cornelius is out there somewhere, watching them and seething at the sight but in that moment he doesn’t care. All that matters is Connor’s arm around his waist and his head on his shoulder, and the love they both feel for each other burning bright in their chests.

#mywriting #one chicago #chicago med #connor rhodes #will halstead #rhodestead

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voleurdesoleil-archive · 3 years

Text

The things you feel inside

Fandom: Haikyuu!

Characters: Ushijima Wakatoshi, Bokuto Koutarou

Word count: 1.7k

A/N: this was a gift for my pe, and I didn't plan on posting it here but I'm really proud of it so here you go

read on ao3

-Wasn't the captain's reunion supposed to be today?

-It is.

-Then why are you still on your phone?

Ushijima stares at Tendou's text, he doesn't know what to answer. He’d like to tell him that it’s because he’s not here with him, but Ushijima knows he can’t say that, it wouldn’t be fair to his husband. He knows Tendou would be capable of giving up his store and buying a plane ticket if he sent that, so he keeps it for himself and lies. He tells him the other captains went out to order food when Kuroo is actually in the kitchen, on the phone with some fast food place, ordering for all of them, while the others are playing video games with Kenma.

"Hey!"

Ushijima lifts his head from his phone as Bokuto flops himself next to him on the couch.

"You're quieter than usual, are you okay?" Bokuto asks, concern seeping through his voice.

He's not. He wants to say it out loud, but Ushijima knows that if he does, it will only result in more questions and he isn't ready to open up. Not yet.

So, when Ushijima's answer doesn't come, Bokuto adds: "You know I'm here if you need to talk. "

Ushijima nods. They aren't close but ever since they met Bokuto always made sure all of them felt at ease or that no one was feeling left out during their meetings. People often seem to mistake MSBY's ace for someone careless or egotistical, but Bokuto has proven on multiple occasions that he is someone with great empathy who cares deeply for people he loves and Ushijima really admires him for it.

Ushijima's attention is drawn away as his phone lights up with another text from Tendou.

"How's Tendou doing?" Bokuto asks as Ushijima types a reply to his husband. "I saw him in a food magazine the other day. He looked super cool with his chef's hat and all!"

"He is doing great. His chocolaterie has been getting a lot of success thanks to social media. He says people really like his "vibe", although I'm not quite sure what he means by that. And-" Ushijima starts rummaging through his photos, until he finds pictures of Vabo-chan and other volleyball related figurines that he shows Bokuto. "-he's been trying to create a volleyball collection, but his colleagues aren't really up for it."

"Wow man! They're awesome! You should put them in the groupchat, the guys would love them!"

Ushijima nods as he gets another text from Tendou telling him he's going to open the shop soon and urging him to have fun.

"You miss him, don't you?"

"I do…"

"Must be hard. I'm lucky that all my partners live around here, but Kuroo and Kenma often have to go away for work and I miss them a lot when they do. So I can't imagine how hard it must be to be so far away from Tendou…"

Ushijima doesn't quite know what to answer to that so he stays silent as his heart clenches a bit tighter in his chest. Bokuto's deduction is correct. Of course it's hard being away from Tendou, harder than what he thought actually.

When Tendou left after high school it was only supposed to be for a couple of years - he had gotten an internship with a renowned pâtissier, he couldn’t let the opportunity go away, so he took it - and he did come back after that. They lived together for a few years, bought their first house together. They even got married.

But last year Tendou decided he wanted to have his own chocolaterie in France, so Ushijima let him go. It was only for a few years, until Tendou could expand and open a chocolaterie in Japan too. They had done it already, so Ushijima thought it would be easy. But this time it was different. Harder. Simply because they had shared a home.

They had learned to live together, to appreciate each other's company. They had cared for the other when he fell sick. They had prepared the other's favorite meal just because they wanted to surprise him. They got used to coming back to the other after a long day at work or after practice. Ushijima got used to trying Tendou's new recipes just like Tendou got used to seeing Ushijima bring home plants on the verge of death to revive them. They got used to each other's quirks and routine.

So it is hard. Coming back home to an empty house. Not having to open the windows because of a funky smell coming from the kitchen. Waking up in an empty bed. Not being able to touch each other. Saying he misses Tendou terribly would be an understatement.

And what's not helping is the fact that he hasn't seen Daichi in a while either. Because in addition to missing his husband, he now also misses his boyfriend.

Until this morning, he thought that he would finally be able to see him but that was only when Kuroo wished Daichi a happy anniversary that Ushijima remembered his boyfriend wouldn't be here tonight as he was taking Sugawara and Asahi out to dinner for their anniversary.

"Do you want to cuddle?"

"What?" Ushijima blinks, thinking he misunderstood.

"I know it's coming out of nowhere, but Daichi said you're a pretty cuddly person and I thought, maybe, it would make you feel a little better, but if you're not comfortable I totally get that, I mean we don't really know each other that well. I just wanna help and you do look like you give the best cuddles…did I say that? Sorry I'm rambling. "

Trying to hide his embarrassment, Bokuto lifts his arms to rub the back of his neck and gives him a sheepish smile, causing Ushijima to let out a chuckle.

He takes a moment to consider the idea. He indeed has been craving physical affection, so Bokuto’s offer sounds appealing. On the other hand, although Ushijima loves to cuddle, it takes him a while to get comfortable enough around someone to even just consider cuddling with them and, as MSBY’s ace stated it, they’re aren’t really close. So Ushijima doesn’t exactly know why he answers:

"I would love that Bokuto"

"For real?"

"If you didn't change your mind, yes."

Bokuto almost throws himself on Ushijima but stops midway. "Wait, how do you want to do this?"

"I don't know?"

"Okay, first maybe we should- can you stand up for a sec?" Ushijima does as he is told and watches as Bokuto folds out the sofa bed to make more room for them. MSBY's ace then runs out of the room to come back carrying way more pillows than they need. "We'll be a little more comfortable like that." Bokuto says before letting himself fall in the mountain of pillows.

Ushijima pushes aside a few of them to make space for himself beside Bokuto. They stay still for a while, facing each other. Ushijima isn't particularly uncomfortable but Tendou often is the one who initiates their cuddling session and while Ushijima has been working on being the one to initiate them with Daichi he still hasn't fully worked out how to.

Bokuto must sense Ushijima's hesitation because he opens his arms and softly says: "You can lay on me for starters, or maybe you'd be more comfortable spooning, you tell me."

Ushijima takes in Bokuto's reassuring smile, which reminds him of Daichi's the first time they cuddled together - they have that same gentle smile that instantly puts you at ease - and finally dares getting closer to him. He hesitantly drapes an arm across his waist and checks on Bokuto's expression to make sure he's comfortable with this before laying his head on his chest. Bokuto's arms instinctively find their place around him.

"Would you like me to play with your hair?"

"Please…" The word comes out of Ushijima's mouth as barely more than a whisper.

This is awkward at first but, as Bokuto slowly runs his fingers through Ushijima's hair, brushing aside the stray hair lying about his forehead, his whole body relaxes and he makes himself more comfortable in Bokuto's arms.

The ace's embrace is tight around him but offers just the right amount of give, so that Ushijima can escape if he ever feels the need to. His own hold on the ace's waist becomes less stiff and Bokuto shifts slightly so that their bodies fit together more naturally. Their legs tangle together and a faint smile makes its way on Ushijima's lips.

He remembers the first time he and Tendou cuddled. They weren't together yet at the time and, just like today, Ushijima had been getting overwhelmed with his feelings. He remembers how grounding and soothing Tendou's feathering touch had been at the time. How all the stress he had accumulated had melted away when, with a simple touch, Tendou's brightness enveloped him. And right now, subject to Bokuto's touch, this is exactly how he feels.

Almost as a way to prove him how vulnerable he is, Ushijima's breath catches in his throat as Bokuto's thumb starts rubbing up and down the small of his back. Daichi once mentioned that one particular detail about cuddling with Bokuto and Ushijima now understands what he meant when he said that felt heavenly as that small movement sends shivers down his spine.

"Is this okay?" Bokuto asks.

Ushijima nods against his chest and mumbles a soft "yes" as his breathing catches up with Bokuto's.

Ushijima hears the door open behind him but he doesn't look back to see who has entered the room. Whistling fills the room and Ushijima has a hunch Oikawa is the one who entered the room. Bokuto's hand leaves his hair and he intimates to the other captain to stay quiet before combing through Ushijima's hair again.

When they're alone again, he brings MSBY's ace a little closer and, basking in Bokuto's warmth, Ushijima closes his eyes for a second and the ambient noise slowly fades until all he can hear is the steady rhythm of Bokuto's heartbeat. He feels safe.

___

Later that night, Ushijima is on the bus back home when he gets a text from Bokuto.

It's a picture of them both, asleep, cuddled up on the couch.

-Kuroo took it

-Look how adorable we are!

Ushijima can't help a smile to grow on his face. He's so glad they're friends.

#haikyuu #ushijima wakatoshi #Bokuto koutarou #they're both polyamorous but they aren't together #I just love them so much and think they'd make amazing friends #I know this is not my usual content but I don't care #ali's writing

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marthastella · 3 years

Text

My au(Day & Night Au)

Every evening, a boy wearing a wreath of roses attracting butterflies with a lamp-shaped tail at the beginning of the road would lie down on the white chrysanthemum garden and watch the light orange sky of the afternoon. He looked at the sky with a relaxed face. “This is still the best place to de-stress,” he thought to himself. The glittering chalk dust emanating from him made the scene more beautiful and poetic. He sat up and plucked a white chrysanthemum that was about to bloom next to him. He picked up the flower and it bloomed - it was quite a fun game for him. He can watch the flower grow in just 5 minutes, this may be the reason why he is so knowledgeable about flowers, especially the white chrysanthemum. He smiled slightly at the flower and put it down and the flower automatically resumed where it had bloomed in the first place. He didn't expect that all of his actions were being watched by someone very carefully. He is the only son of the night god. At first, he did not care about the child of the god of the day, but when he was passing through the chrysanthemum garden in the afternoon, he saw his smiling face illuminated by the morning sun, making him fall in love. your. So every day in the afternoon, he always stood by the corner of some tree just to watch him. Gradually it became a habit. I had to leave early today because I was quite tired, I was a little sorry that I couldn't watch him for a long time. He was just about to return when he stepped on a tree branch and made a sound. “What a bad day today!” He think. Suddenly a voice called out: "What are you doing here?”

Dream turned behind to see George standing up looking at him with innocent eyes. Dream replied, "I walked past here." Geoge giggled looking at Dream and said: "Do you want to make friend?" Dream was surprised after George's words, he never thought anyone would want to be friends with someone like him. His only friend is Sapnap, his servant, but this time it's the child of the day god, which surprises him. “Am I worthy to be friends with a god like you? I am your enemy- god of the future day” Dream replied. “So what? Does anyone forbid it?" George replied. "Then let's do it!" Dream froze for a few seconds, then held George's hand "okay"

Since then, the two have seen each other every day. The two kept telling each other stories about their lives and scenes from time to time. They just realized that their worlds are very similar. Every time Dream talked about the night when the moon shone down on the white chrysanthemum garden, it looked so beautiful and melodious, this made George have a wish to be able to see the moon at night but he knew it was an impossible thing to do. Because the god of the day can only walk freely everywhere in the morning, but if the god of the day goes at night, he will die, and the god of the night will do the same.

Gradually, the two people developed feelings for each other but did not tell the other because they were afraid that after they knew, they would alienate and discriminate against them. So the two of them could only hold each other in their hearts.

On a beautiful afternoon, George went to the chrysanthemum garden as usual, but today Dream did not come. George comforted himself, "He's probably just busy, that's okay."

It's been 5 days since Dream didn't come, making George very worried. He was afraid what would happen to Dream but still tried to comfort himself that Dream was fine.

On the sixth day, George still came to the white chrysanthemum garden. He prayed that this time Dream would come. Just as he wanted, Dream came but his face didn't look good. "What's wrong, Dream?" George asked. Dream was silent for a long time and then replied “I have… a fiancee…” Dream replied

The words struck like lightning across George's ears. The person you love now has a fiancee, how do you get over this shock!? “Two days to our wedding day, will you come?” Dream asked in a mood no better than George.

George didn't answer but just ran away, tears rolling down his cheeks. You cry because the person you love will marry someone else, cry because you will have to watch two people get married. He tried not to cry but couldn't. His heart ached like it was about to burst.

2 days later, Dream and fiancee's wedding ceremony begins Everyone happily congratulated the two of them. Only George was upset. Dream is not much different from George, he tried to protest but couldn't. He was sad because the person he married was not George, he was sad because he could not express his feelings for him. The wedding begins The bride walks to Dream

While the pastor was reading vows in the church, then everybody clammed up. To track pastor asked, "one protest this marriage does not?" Then a voice said: "yes!" Everyone was surprised to hear those words, they turned and looked back to see who was opposed. It was George, he quickly ran to the spot and pulled out Dream before the surprise of everyone. He pulled the Dream come to the garden chrysanthemums which two people often meet each other here. George let go Dream on. Dream questions: "Why do you oppose in your wedding? He was not afraid of being my soldiers chased what? "

The silence lasted… “George! What do you say!? Answer my question, George!" "Because I love you! OK!?" The statement surprised Dream, he couldn't believe this was real. “I can't see you marrying someone else in front of your eyes, you don't like her either? Are you planning to stay with someone you don't like for the rest of your life!?” George shouted. Silent Dream

"So do you agree to be my boyfriend?" George held out his hand in front of Dream. Dream is still silent “I see…” George pulled his hand away and ran away, but Dream jumped to hug him from behind, surprising George. "I agree!" Dream replied. Then the two exchanged a kiss.

They sat next to the chrysanthemum garden and talked about their feelings, about their fear if they didn't agree, but now it's so happy that both of them can't believe this is true. But then the happy time did not last long, the soldiers of Dream caught up to bring Dream back to hold the wedding. The two of them ran away together. But while running, George was hit in the leg by a soldier throwing a knife, making walking very difficult. It started to get dark, Dream saw that and tried to pull George to run quickly to avoid the night. But because of the serious injury, George could not run anymore. When he was able to cut off the soldiers, Dream said to George:

“You run away! It's getting dark! Run away so I can stop the soldiers!” “N-no-no n-time, I…will not…make it…so why run now? I…know that I'm…not going to make it, so I'll stay here with you…” George managed to say. It seems that he already knew his end, so he didn't run anymore. "Are not!" Dream said: "It's still time! Hurry up!” George tried to smile and then said: "I know I won't make it, so I'll be here with you, I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

Dream quietly watched George's face turn pale. He already knew what was going to happen in a few minutes, but he still tried to reassure him that George would be fine. “Dream, I still just wanted to say I love you, do you love me?” George said as he raised his hand to stroke Dream's cheek. Dream hugged George tightly and said: “I love you too!” After that sentence, George stopped breathing. Dream looked at him in horror as he was lying on top of her. He cry….

It has been 3 years since George died, Dream has become insensitive to everyone, now he is a night god but still takes time to go to the white chrysanthemum garden - where he met him. Every day, he would go out and put a chrysanthemum flower down and cry. Today, too, he still brought a chrysanthemum flower and put it down. "This is where I met you, where you said goodbye to the world" Dream said chokingly and tears rolled down her cheeks. He cried because he missed him so much. A voice called out: "Long time no see, why are you so wet, Dream?" Dream heard a familiar voice and turned to look behind. It's George…it's really George… "Am I dreaming again, George?" Dream asked as he stood up, shaking hands and walking towards George. "It's not a dream, you idiot!" George said Dream jumps in and hugs George “You really are back!” Dream said, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Right!" George replied, holding a crying Dream.

this is my first time writing fanfic so it's very bad and logical, hope everyone understands (bad english)

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