#they just get sucked in by cute shit so easily. which I find extremely relatable tbh 😔

[byanyan]

byan stealing a bunch of adorable af stationary products only to get home and stare at it all like "......i'm not gonna use any of this"

[tsuisou-no-despair]

Higurashi When They Cry: Gou -My “Final” Thoughts

Since we’re getting a second season - and it’s so obvious that Gou was written as the first half of the story - I find it hard to rate Gou at this point in time. Do you remember how when Avengers: Infinity War came out and a lot of critics were like “well, we need to see Endgame before we can really make our judgements”? Yeah, it’s like that - hence why “final” is in quotes.

Even so, I still have some thoughts about Gou, Higurashi as a whole, and my experiences with getting in on something’s fandom. I’ll make a post for what I want out of Sotsu later - right now, here’s what I have for Gou.

What I Liked About Gou

Most of it, honestly! I enjoyed Gou greatly and I’m glad I sat down and gave it a watch. (This may be heresy, but I honestly found it better as an experience than the last airing-weekly anime thing I sat down and watched - that being Mob Psycho 100 Season 2) But as for the stuff unique to Gou thatI particularly liked:

First off, having a new Higurashi anime that’s actually good. We needed something like this after Outbreak, Kira and (to a much lesser extent) the non-Saikoroshi parts of Rei pushed the series deeper and deeper into a trash can.

I love the new art style and the new designs for the characters. There’s a lot of good in DEEN’s adaptation, but a lot of the time the art left something to be desired. Passione’s take on Hinamizawa gave us a cast that can be cute and beautiful and terrifying all while looking good.

There’s also a lot of really good cinematography - the shot used in the GIF above left me going ‘holy shit”.

The new themes are a triple threat of bangers. In particular I loved that they brought in Ayane to really give it a deeper tie to Higurashi as a greater franchise. (The best of these, of course, is Irregular Entropy)

Episode 4′s twist. Just... *chef’s kiss*. I know that people poked it apart and called it ridiculous after the fact but I don’t know if the feeling of dread when Rena’s eyes were hidden by shadow, and I realized that this wasn’t going to end well, is something I could ever really recapture.

Speaking of violence, the ending of Episode 13. The dull red light... the ringing bell... good stuff.

In retrospect, creating Tataridamashi by bringing in Minagoroshi was smart, specifically from a character-introduction standpoint. They needed to establish the existence of Kimiyoshi, Oryou and Akane for later parts of the story and dipping into Minagoroshi’s involvement of them is probably the easiest way to do it.

In general, Gou’s really smart about its character introductions. I didn’t think they’d bring in Akasaka but I’m honestly really pleased with how they did it.

SatoRika was confirmed! And was really cute... until it extremely wasn’t! (But in a good way!)

The fact that Satoko and Rika’s conflict at St. Lucia was so nuanced, with neither of them really being 100% right or 100% wrong. (Of course, this doesn’t last)

I might be slightly conflicted about Satokowashi as an arc, but none of those conflicts are with Eua. (The “FUCK YEAH FEATHERINE TIME” from Twitter was particularly tasty)

The dub! I know a lot of people are ambivalent towards the Gou dub but I for one am happy that we’ve got some great performances, as well as a Higurashi dub that’s actually good. Maybe not great, but far better than what DEEN got in the end.

This Shion face

This is the face of someone that’s going to wreck her sister’s chances with her new boyfriend for fun.

What I Didn’t Like About Gou

Watadamashi in general. This is easily the weakest arc by a long shot, which sucks because I like Watanagashi-hen quite a bit. A lot of the time, it just felt like the animators had chose it as the place to cut costs. As good as the Takano scene in the Saiguiden is, it’s one of the things that makes the least sense in retrospect given the changes to Takano that have been established in Gou. And Episode 8 was rough both from a pacing and a what-happened standpoint. While Watadamashi had some great moments (the above Shion face as well as Rika dressing down Keiichi), overall it was clearly the weakest arc, particularly after Shion left the picture.

The pacing of Gou in general left something to be desired at times - they really should’ve shifted the extra episode in the first cour from Tataridamashi to Watadamashi, and Satokowashi could’ve probably condensed some of its episodes down and gave more room to other things, like...

Satoshi. He really shouldn’t have been as absent from the series as he was - hell, until Ep. 9 I legitimately thought that he might’ve been cut from the story altogether (and honestly, if they did that maybe the story would have been better!)

On that note, Episode 22 just kinda sucked in general.

While I’m not on the “where’s Shion” train as heavily as some meme artists are, I do think that the fact that she had to be written out of the second cour entirely to make it work is one of Gou’s story’s objective faults.

There’s a lot of little details added or addressed in Satokowashi-hen that I feel are either less than good, or are just restrictive. The big two of these is Satoko watching all of the fragments (either Eua should’ve just given her a sample platter, or we should’ve seen more of Satoko’s thoughts and reactions) and the fact that the memories returning means that eventually Hinamizawa would end up “solved” without Satoko’s intervention.

Honestly, Gou’s finale needed a bit more punch - it wasn’t bad but honestly even for a halfway point it could have ended with a bit more of a bang.

The Fandom Side Of Things

First off, I want to preface this by saying thanks for following me, taking my theories into account (it always feels cool whenever I see something I threw into the aether in one of my Theory Times getting adopted and spread by someone else as an interesting idea!) and sticking with me through Gou and hopefully through Sotsu. You are all amazing and I love you all.

After Watadamashi concluded, I decided that my Higurashi bullshit needed its own sideblog, because I recognized that nobody in my other circles was even remotely into Higurashi and I didn’t want to shout into the void. So, I made myself a sideblog, named it after one of my favorite Higurashi console openings, and started posting my thoughts. Quickly I discovered a whole world of theories (”Satoko’s suspicious? I never would have thought of that!” - me, a young and naive fool), hot takes, and a surprising number of Rena kin. (Who are all delightful, I assure you!)

One of the things that stuck out to me was the different schools of opinion that formed. While I ended up as a relatively quiet analyst who overall liked Gou despite its flaws (a camp shared by two of my favorite blogs - @tarhalindur and @thewhitefluffyhat - that you need to follow if you don’t already), there were many others who had much stronger thoughts. Some of them were loudly cheering the story’s turns, while others seemed to decide that Gou could do no right and acted accordingly. Joining a Discord run by one of the larger Higurashi blogs on Tumblr gave me a live view of the process in Satokowashi’s later half, and it made me really realize what shaped people’s views on Gou. Some particular factors that caught my eye:

Whether or not they liked Umineko over Higurashi (mostly a Twitter element - the Umineko fans really enjoyed Eua making her appearance and overall reacted really positively to Gou)

Where they hailed from - honestly I think that Tumblr overall was one of the more positive fanbases for Gou (at least of the big concrete places like it and Reddit), given how the various camps thought of Gou’s eventual villain.

How they felt about Episode 16 - there were a lot of people that seriously felt that Rika learning the “lesson” of “maybe leaving the hometown where bad things happened isn’t the right call” was far, far more abhorrent and objectionable than the part where she got her entrails ripped out!

How they feel about Satoko, naturally - particularly, how much they sympatized with her and how much they didn’t want to see her go down the path she did. Tumblr in particular had a lot of people that related with her and her life situation, and it was never not interesting to see how the sympathy and occasional projection shaped someone’s particular thoughts. (There were some strong reactions to Gou showing an abuse victim becoming an even worse abuser, let me tell you.)

I think I’ll conclude these final thoughts by quoting my IRL best friend’s tags regarding the fandom of her choice:

It really is. And I’m glad I got on this ride and saw it through with all of you.

See you in July.

[peachyteabuck]

hustle make you high (sub!lance tucker x femdom!reader)

summary: it’s your anniversary, and this is how you and lance celebrate

pairing: sub!lance tucker x femdom!reader

words: 2,395

trigger warnings: femdom, riding, restraints

ask box / masterlist / faq / ko-fi

Lance Tucker is nothing short of an absolute fucking asshole. He’s stubborn, way too observant in the absolute worst way, and blunt to a fault. No matter where he is and what he’s supposed to be doing, Lance Tucker will find a way to tell you why what you’re doing is 1) wrong, 2) that it annoys him, 3) that you’re a terrible person, and 4) that he doesn’t like you.

Anyone who knew Lance Tucker when he was still competing knows that he’s a stuck-up asswipe of a gymnast, and he only got worse when he began coaching. A control freak with a God complex, the man will push any button to remain in charge of any and all situations that he is involved in. The man is focused on his fame (or, more accurately, the perception of fame) than anything else, especially the feelings of other people.

In short, he’s a total, utter dick.

God, you’re totally and completely in love with him.

He’s a fantastic husband in every sense of the word, along with being a wonderful friend. He’s sweet and caring, always putting your needs over his own. He remembers every anniversary, every birthday, every small achievement in relation to your work.

You absolutely fell in love with him on your first date together, it didn’t even take an hour for you to know he was the one. It was a blind date, set up by two of your mutual friends. Well, actually, it was a bet between the two of them. One thought you two would be too different to hit it off, but the second person knew better - much, much better.

On your first date, Lance was a bumbling mess who could barely get out a sentence. It was positively adorable. Lance was chivalrous, sweet. Everything, and you mean everything you had heard about him had been completely and utterly false. He asked you about what you did for work, why you chose your incredibly boring field of a tax law, what it was like, and so on. He took a genuine interest in you, what you did, who you were as a person. It was so completely different from every other guy you’d ever tried to date and it was so refreshing.

When you asked about him, though, he seemed even more nervous than before. He stuttered, and it was obvious he was worried of what you would think of him. When he dropped you off at your house (and walked you to your door - what a gentleman), you kissed him on the cheek and he blushed like a schoolgirl and bit his lip like a teen caught in a massive crush.

You loved it.

Immediately after you got all your makeup off and changed into a more comfortable outfit (your first date had been a fancy dinner halfway across town and all you wanted to do was wear sweatpants, take your bra off, and wear the comfiest/grossest shirt you could find), you scheduled your next date. It was the week after when you met at your favorite small coffee shop right after the lunch rush. You and Lance talked for hours about your lives and what you wanted out of them. You asked him about training and a gym addition he was planning; he asked you about a case you were thinking of taking up. When he had to leave for a night session with a girl who missed the morning one, you went for it and kissed him. Just straight up. He seemed stunned, but after the initial shock wore off he went in for another. It was magical. His hands tenderly placed themselves on your waist, resting on your thick green sweater. You wrapped your arms around his neck, locking him close to you. The only thing that could’ve made it better was if there was a small drizzle of rain, a way to seal the romantic moment.

When you stepped away, the dopey look that flashed on his face made you want even more. You wanted to mess up his perfectly gelled hair and jump his bones.

But you were a lady, and ladies wait until the third date. And, if that third date happened to be less than forty-eight hours later, that’s okay. It was dinner at your place. Normally, you’d mind always making the first move. But something about Lance convinced you that you being a driving force was okay. You guessed that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to initiate a lot of things, it’s just that he was nervous. And if you liked anything, it was making extremely pretty boys extremely nervous. Maybe it was because you’ve always liked control. Maybe it was because your desk job made you feel useless. Maybe it was because things you’ve always liked things that made you feel like you were sexy, a feeling you’ve never really felt before.

Either way, that night, you were getting it. You were determined to fuck him (with his consent…of course…). You didn’t care if that meant some boring missionary shit or you riding his dick and/or his face for two hours; you two were cumming. Together. Coming together.

The meal you had cooked was normally pretty simple, but instead of just roasted chicken slices you cooked an entire one so you could carve it. You thought it would be a good thing to take your sexual frustration on (since you know…large knives and stuff).

The man of the hour arrived at six o’clock sharp, just as you’d instructed him to. It took all of your might not to cum right then and there, not only because he had followed orders, but also because he was punctual. It’s one of your biggest pet peeves - when people don’t show up on time, and it happens all the time at work. The last thing you want is to come home to someone who can’t find a place on time. It sent a shiver up your spine as you wiped your hands on a dish towel before you went to open the door.

Lance was dressed the sexiest you’d ever seen him. His jeans were tight, and his shirt hugged his body like latex. It was white, and you could almost see his obnoxious tattoo through it. It took all of you not to pull him in the door by his neckline and suck him off right then and there. Just a second, Y/N, let the man have dinner first, is all you could do to keep yourself from jumping him right then and there.

Ever the gentleman, he also brought you some flowers.

That’s when you decided to get your power back. As you and him made small talk (he mostly just asked about your home, which you happily answered), you “struggled” to find a vase.

In truth, you know where the want you want is, it’s up high. Despite this, you choose to look through all of the lower cabinets, so you can show off how tight the dress you’re wearing is.

It’s obvious when he catches sight of your ass, because Lance immediately stops speaking. The only sound in the kitchen is the sizzling of green beans. When you turn around, faux-perplexed as to the whereabouts of your favorite crystal vase, Lance is smirking.

“I thought you said the bank turned you down for that loan,” the line is shaky, he’s obviously nervous as he says it. It makes you quiver a little, admittedly. You love making boys nervous.”

You shake your head, confused. “If you’re trying to hit on me by bringing up the worst part of this year…”

Lance immediately backtracks. “No, no I mean, that like they said you didn’t have any…assets…”

That’s when you get it. He’s trying to creatively compliment your figure. You break down giggling, flustered. “That’s…that’s good. I haven’t heard that one before.”

When you finally “find” the vase, you realize it’s a little higher than you remember. You need help reaching it for real…and-

Shit. This isn’t how you planned for the night to go.

“I, uh,” You gulp, turning back around with heat dusting your cheeks. “Can you help me reach the vase?”

Lance laughs and gets up, moving to easily grab what you cannot.

That is the first time you see the now-famous tattoo up close, and the first time you drag his face down to your level so that you can make out with him against your kitchen counter.

Now, after three years of dating and four years of marriage, nothing has changed between you two.

He may have become an incredibly selective and successful coach; you may have become a partner at your firm. You may have moved to a house that’s better for entertaining his gymnasts and your lawyer friends/foes/potential clients. You may have adopted some cats. Everyone may have called you a power couple and banned both of you from drinking at any and all office parties at both of your jobs. Some coworkers may have also had to be convinced not to tell your respective bosses about you making out (and worse) in bathrooms and empty conference rooms and storage closets and each of your offices.

But in your relationship? Nope.

You still absolutely adore each other. Lance still gets those flutters in his stomach that always make him stutter around you. You still love making him nervous. Most importantly, you both still loving having sex. Together. With each other.

Some nights are lighter than others, some require days of planning. You’re (mostly) past hook ups in utility closets, preferring to sleep in your own bed.  

Which is why you tease him all throughout dinner, flat out banning him from clearing it of its contents and thereby not allowing him to fuck you on it.

This is likely why when you lure him upstairs and push him onto the bed, he immediately becomes pliant.

It’s cute, almost, the way he’s reacting to your touch, how his breath hitches when your nails trace over his muscles – his shirt long discarded and you looming over him.

“You want me to tie you up, baby?” you coo, heat in your center pulsing as he moans. “You want me to fuck myself down on your cock while all you can do is watch?”

Lance whines high in his throat, nodding.

“Yes, please tie me up,” he moans.

And who are you to deny him?

You abide by his wishes easily, undressing him the rest of the way before tying his arms and legs so that he lays spread-eagle in the center of the bed.

Once he’s secured you strip yourself, removing each item of clothing slowly as he strains his neck to watch you.

“God you’re so beautiful,” he moans. “Please fuck me!”

You smile as – finally – your panties are discarded. Wordlessly you climb over him once more, aligning him with your dripping center, moaning lewdly as he bottoms out.  

“Please let me touch you,” Lance groans, pulling at the restraints. “C’mon, let me make you feel good.”

“I’ll think about it,” you mumble breathlessly as you used your hips to grind down onto his cock. “Let me feel you first.”

“God I love your pussy,” he moans, hands flexing in their fixed position. “Fuck it feels so good!”

You giggle, grinding down onto his cock. Maybe it’s because you’ve forced him into abstinence for the past week, maybe it’s because it’s your anniversary and you’ve been stuck in this hazy love cloud for days.

“You want me to untie you?” You ask. Immediately, Lance is moaning and nodding his head deliriously. “You want your hands on me while I cum on your cock?”

“Fuck yes!” Lance begs, fucking harder into you. “God please let me touch you, oh my God.”

You unclick the ankle restraints first, then lean forward to free his wrists, using his chest for balance.

“Your tits look really good at this angle,” he says with one of his big, show-stopping smiles.

You laugh as you readjust, moaning as you slide back onto the cock. “Yeah? They still look good from here, too?”

Lance’s hands roam your body, landing on your ass. “Hell yeah, they do.”

You ride him with everything you have, moaning in tandem with him.

“C-can I rub your clit?” he asks, head thrown back and eyes screwed shut. “Can I please make you cum?”

You smile, tossing your hair to the side and gazing down at him. “Yes, but you can’t cum yet.”

Lance looks pained at not being allowed to cum but remains eager to give you pleasure – sucking his thumb into his mouth before quickly finding the most sensitive part of you.

It doesn’t take long before you’re coming undone with him inside of you – eyes rolling back in bliss.

It’s only when the ringing in your ears stops when you see Lance is nearly lost to his own pleasure.

You smack his right thigh to remind him of his place. “Don’t forget to ask permission, baby,” you hit the left one slightly harder. “It’s our anniversary, but it doesn’t mean our rules have been suspended.”

Lance struggles to swallow before speaking. “Please, can I come? I need to come-“

“Not yet,” you hiss, not letting him finish. You continue to ride him, slowly moving your hips up and down as your eyes roll back once more.

Lance, in all his obedience, could never give up his stubbornness.

“Please!” he cries out, tension in his voice indicating how close he really is.

You smile as you grind down on his cock once more. “Cum.”

His face immediately relaxes, head thrown back and mouth agape as he comes inside of you with moan so loud you worry the glass of water next to the bed will shatter.

“Oh, fuck that feels good,” he says, panting. “Your pussy always feels so fucking good.”

You laugh, also breathless. “I appreciate it.”

It takes a minute for you to find the energy, but eventually to grab a tissue to clean off before crawling back into bed with your husband.  

You curl up into Lance’s chest, tracing random patterns into his sweaty skin.

“Happy anniversary, baby,” he says, chest rumbling as he does so.

“Happy anniversary,” you say back, leaving a small kiss over one of his deepest bruises.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #398

“freedom is just man’s invention, & a soldier is just a slave”

What do you do the most when you’re online? Watch/listen to YouTube. Do you have a bobblehead? No. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? No, that sure would suck. Were you afraid of heights as a child? Actually no, but NOW I kinda am. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Would you ever take a solo road trip? No, that sounds super depressing and lonely. Do the mountains fascinate you? Of course! So much history built into a magnificent, awe-inspiring piece of nature. Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? Wow, no. I wouldn't tolerate that for a second. What’s your favorite movie battle scene? The fight between Simba and Scar is very powerful imo. Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? No, but not because I'm opposed. I'd love to go to one and be the photographer. What’s your favorite Marvel movie? Probably one of the Spider-Man films. I don't remember which it is, and I don't want to spoil it by explaining what I do recall. Did you have a Walkman when you were a kid? No. What’s the most difficult experience you and a significant other have gone through together? Being long-distance when we really wanted each other's physical comfort. Have you ever attempted to pick a lock? Did you succeed? Yes, because Ashley locked her keys in the car. I don't remember if it worked, actually. Have you done the Bratz doll challenge for YouTube? No. I've seen a couple people do it, though, and it's both cool and creepy. Does the hospital in your town have a good reputation? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. What is your favorite nickname that you’ve had? "Bee" from Megan. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No. I would be SO uncomfortable. If you had braces, do you wear your retainers still? No. :/ Well, the one you put in, anyone. I have a metal one behind the front row of my bottom teeth. If you had braces, have your teeth moved since you got them off? Yes. Do you know anyone personally who’s lost a child? I know way too many people who have suffered miscarriages. Do you take your medications regularly? Yes. What’s one luxury item you wish you could afford? An actually nice house. What’s your favorite thing to do in a swimming pool? Just kinda casually swim around. Have you ever been abused by a cop? No. What is one thing that you took to show-and-tell as a kid? My Snorlax plushy. Do you remember losing your first tooth? No. In the summer would you rather have the windows down or the A/C on in the car? I strongly prefer A/C. Have you ever been addicted to a game? What game? I had a long-time addiction to World of Warcraft for a couple years or so. I still play it now, but I'm not addicted to it anymore. As a matter of fact I get bored of it easily now. Which was better: the original The Lion King or the sequel? The original, but I love both very much. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I don't know if any did. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? Roman, 120%. It is so obvious. Venus, no, as reptiles are literally incapable of experiencing that emotion. I do, however, know she trusts me. Are you proud of your body? FUCK no. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance? No. How do YOU believe the world & universe started? I don't know. I feel like MAYBE there is some sort of ultimate intelligence that formed the universe (maybe prompted the Big Bang, though I've always been dubious of that occurring naturally), but I don't think of this topic frequently at all. Does it really matter, after all? We're here, so just focus on that and live in the now. Have you ever stuck gum under a desk/chair? NO, that shit grosses me the hell out. When shopping at a grocery store, do you return your cart or just leave it? Return your fucking cart, please. It is NOT that difficult. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Certain places I've, uh, "done" things. When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? Yep. I seriously loved Green Eggs and Ham. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape is #1. Would you rather give your food to a homeless shelter or money to charity? Food to a homeless shelter, but I'd love to do both. What was your least favorite year of your life so far? 2016 was a fucking NIGHTMARE. Have you spent money on a game online? On one occasion, I asked if Mom would reactivate my WoW account, and when two expansions came out, I asked if she could buy them. I HATED asking. Thankfully, now, I'm rich enough in the game to pay for the "token" currency, which renews your subscription for a month, so I essentially play for free now. Have you been called a bad influence? Yes. Have any self-done piercings? Noooo. I only trust professionals. Ever pierced someone else? Again, no. Leave it to professionals, as well as someone without tremors. If you had a child with down’s syndrome, would you keep him/her? IF I wanted kids, of course I would. It really, REALLY bothers me when DS is the reason behind abortion. Mind you, I am pro-choice, but come on... Don't treat down's syndrome children as a curse. If someone tried to murder your child, do you think it would be wrong to expose them publicly and talk about it on social media? Of fucking course I would. I'd damn that person to hell myself. Is there a toxic person that you miss? I sometimes miss Colleen. Are you still contemplating going back to someone you shouldn’t? With Jason, yes. If he actually wanted me back (that will never happen, but anyway), I fear I'd say yes and probably would, realistically. When was the last time you had a new crush? When I realized I was bisexual. Do you want Jesus to come back soon? Back when I was a Christian, I was terrified of Judgment Day. I don't believe in it now. What is something you can’t wear because of your body type? I COULD wear whatever the hell I wanted, but I refuse to wear crop tops or strapless tops (or strapless bras). Oh, and thongs. No thanks. If you have curves, do you like them? I'm not curvy naturally, I'm just fat. Have you ever worn matching pajamas with someone? No, but that'd be cute. Has anyone ever mistaken you for being anorexic? No way. What fast food place do you avoid at all costs? Arby's, to name one. Are you afraid of deep sea creatures? Yes, especially giant squid. Have you ever agreed to purchase something on Ebay and got scammed somehow? Ugh, I got Ico THREE TIMES and they were ALL broken; they'd freeze in the first few minutes. Has anybody ever given you a promise ring? No. What is your favorite kind of cake? Red velvet. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yeah, multiple times. Were you outdoors or indoors more as a kid? I'd say it was a split down the middle. Have you ever had a relationship that began via text? Jason, Tyler, Juan, and Sara all began over text. Girt asked me out over Facebook Messenger. Do you think sloths are cute or ugly? They're cuties! What eyeshadow suits you best? I only wear black eyeshadow. Do you watch the show Wizards of Waverly Place? I did as a kid and really liked it. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. I don't think I could handle the humidity, though I'd love to see all the beautiful wonders. Are you a member of any clubs? No. Would you shave your head with a friend who had cancer? If it was someone I was very close to and they were extremely self-conscious about it, I'd probably be willing to get very short hair, but I don't think I could handle no hair at all. How did you meet your pet? Roman was one of the kittens of Ashley's mother-in-law's cats. She has way too many cats and needed to get rid of the kittens, and I'd been wanting one like mad. I found Venus via the online reptile-selling hub called Morph Market, and I became VERY interested in the many, many ball python morphs, and when I saw her, I immediately knew that was my baby. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? I did as a kiddo. What are some of the phrases in your personal ‘bingo’ card? "Mood," "can't relate," "hi, how are ya," "jinkies," "yikes," "oof," shit like that. Have you ever been through a trap door? No. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? No, only middle school. How many video games do you own? A whole lot. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? No, I'd be very scared to. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? I have two for my varying photography subjects. I post very rarely on both. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? I have not.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

"Kai-" You whined holding the box up "Please love I never once played this in the forst place!"

"Is a game for kids (Y/N), we are adults." He showed with his palm at both of you, arching one eyebrow up "See the difference? So that's still a no."

You sighed in defeat, holding the box in one hand while getting up from your bed to quit the room.

"Where are you going?" He more demanded than asked, but the feeling was still there.

"Tell Kurono and Irinaka that you aren't going to participate." You pointed innocently at the direction of the living room.

He deadpanned at that explanation... no, no they didn't just...

"They agreed on playing... this?" He pointed at the box in your hands while you nodded.

"I gave them the idea and Irinaka's words were- wait a minute," you lifted one of your fingers up before coughing " 'HeLL YeAh A BiT oF FuCKinG FUn On ThIS DaMN HoUSE!' While Kurono just sayed 'Yeah sure why not?'"

Okay, first; he had to bite the inside of his cheek to contain his chuckle at your own immitation of Mimic's voice.

Second... did the most trustful commurates of his accepted on playing such a childish game? WITH HIS ANGEL WITHOUT ASKING HIM FIRST?

Oh not fucking happening.

"There is no way that you're going to give up on playing this, right?" He sighed in annoyance before you shook your head.

"I never played 'Jenga'..." you pouted and made those puppy eyes once again in a last attempt of tagging your boyfriend along "Please my devil?" You cooed "I promise I will play with you all the rounds of Shogi with you but please just this once?"

He hated those puppy eyes with such passion. Not because they were disgusting or anything related, no, it was because he couldn't say no to them. He just COULDN'T.

He sighed through his mask and llacedd his gloved hands on the inside of his pocket while walking towards you.

At least he got a time alome with you after, and as a bonus his favorite game, which he not only admired by the rules but he could see that adorable pout of yours whenever you losed.

Which was almost all the time.

"One round. And we call it night. Understood?" He rolled his eyes at your happy expression as you thanked him with a kiss on his mask, surprinsing him for a bit.

"Yes Kai I did brush my teeth and showered..." You huffed while he sighed a relieved 'thank god'.

~

"You three better not use your quirks on this I swear." You mumbled as you positioned the pieces together, ignoring Mimic's snickering.

"My quirk is not exactly suitable for this, and I am not in the mood to be killed or to be screamed over later." Chrono said pointing at on one his arrows in his head.

"Can't say the same for me though. These things are smaller than a fridge so-"

"So you better shut your mouth Mimic, and do not dare to enter those things." You and Chrono snickered at the way Mimic flinched at Chisaki's tone of voice as he stared at you building that tiny little tower.

"Ridiculous..." he mumbled through his mask before pushinh you to sit on his lap instead of the cushion.

You blushed at the avtion awhile Chrono and Mimic only satred for a couple of seconds in disbelief and yet finding that scene extremely hilarious.

"Any words spoken about this that left of either of you two mouths expect that your bodies will be found in nine dofferent countries." He said darkly before tapping your thigh. "You start."

"A-Ah! Y-yeah I forgot!"

~

Ok, he had to admit it. This game was way tense and stressful than he thought bit incredibly at testing your physical habbilits.

He also lost count of how many times you send him a look whenever he threatened to use his quirk when he thought the tower was just too trembling and at the point of falling.

"Shit. Why you bunch of people leave the harddest for me?" Hari complaimed as he eyed the atrocity of the tower, thinking of how and which one he was going to push without being prejudiced by it.

"Hurry arrow haired you got only one minute left." Mimic said between laughter as he holded the timer.

"Shut the fuck up Irinaka." He mumbled in response as you giggled, the vibrations hitting Chisaki's chest in the most glorious way.

Huh... this was actually kinda nice.

"Twenty seconds blockhead." Kai said monoustly bit with a hint of arrogance and teasing om his voice.

Which happily you were the only one that got it.

"Kai he is your childhood friend. Don't be so cruel." You whispered to him with a smile whole he arched one of his eyebrows.

"I am being realistic and he is being a idiot, there is at least 45 per cent that this thinh will fall." He whispered lowly back in your ear while you mumbled 'is that so?' With a evil smirk.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6-" you counted along with Mimic, whoose was almost dying from laughter.

"Oh screw you (Y/n)." Chisaki's hold on you tighten as his eyes narrowed at Kurono in a murderous way.

"What did you just said Chronostasis?" He went to take his glove off before you stopped him with a smile.

"Relax, is just a game and I poked him. It happens."

"That doesn't mean he has the right on talking with you like that." He growled before Kurno just mumbled a 'fuck it' a d just took one alleatory block of the tower.

Which didn't fell.

"SUCK THAT MIMIC!" Kurono almost throwed the block on Mimic with his enthusiasm while Irinaka just looked at the tower with a look that screamed 'I'm fucked.'.

"See why I prefer Shogi instead? It isn't this loud." He said numbly as he secretly carresed your hair from behind, se ding goose bumps onto your whole body each time his gloved fingers touched your scalp.

"Ah come on!" You turned your head to look up at him from his shoulder "I caught you smilling when you were passed without destroying the tower and not using your quirk." You said the last part in a joking manner as he rolled his eyes before both of you jumped at the shout Irinaka just gave it while throwing the block on Kurono's head.

Yeah, he didn't back down.

"My turn!" You chirped as you eyed the tower, choosing the best one to not ruin it for your victory.

While Kai was mentally expecting that things fall, Kurno and Mimic were being very... vocal about it before Chisaki sended them a glare.

Hypocrite.

You successfully and slowly took one of the blocks away with a 'yes' as Kai carresed your side as a reward bjt still a bit dissapointed that it didn't fell.

"Your turn boss."

Chisaki arched his back a bit, covered chin almost resting over your shoulder as he analyzed and prepared his strategy with the little time he had.

The base was a totally forbidden area, the sides were too unstable, and the top completely destroyed ... he looked more carefully until he noticed a piece in the middle that could easily be removed without the tower falling... he smirked underneath his mask and went to pick, already claiming his victory because there was no way that Kurono could take another piece without making the tower fall.

You three weren't even surprised at that, Kai was way too smart for these things but still was fun, and in your case cute and hot as hell, seing his concetrate face.

Before he could even push it from out of there a voice echoed on the room.

"What is going on here?" Pops asked with curiosity but still smirked at the sign.

This took Chisaki's concentration away and he accidentally let the tower fall... making him, Mimic Chrono and you go wide eyed as you three jaws almost hitted the floor.

Did... did Overhaul just... lost?

"HoLY SHIt ThIS Is FoR ThE REcoRd! OvErHaUL JuST LoST!" Mimic broked the silent while screaming in laughter, making you and Chrono crack into your owns as Chisaki stared at it... disbelief lrinted on his face.

"I swear I never once saw that this day was even going to become reality holy shit!" Kurno said between laughter, not caring about the death glare he was receiving from Chisaki.

"W-what-" you tried once "What did you say about this being a game for kids my devil?" He pinched your side and one of your thighs for that, bit you only muffled your laughter on his neck, feeling the vibrations while he growled in irritation.

"Place that thing back together again, it didn't count."

"It didn't count my-" Chrono punched the back of his Mimic's neck before he could say any thing as he mumbled a 'sure'

"Will you four mind if I join you? A bit of distraction is never a bad thing." Pops asked while taking a sit between you and Irinaka, since you had gotten off of Chisaki's lap for respect at the old man.

Pops participating or not, he was going to crush his enemies mercilessly...

Ah, he felt your hand on his gloved ones... adorable but that wont save his angel.

[withyounct]

What's wrong kid? (4)

Reader X Single dad!Jaehyun

Genre: Fluff

Words: 3.7k

Prompt: You notice a child crying at a school playground. You decide to see what’s up and meet an extremely stressed/extremely handsome father.

Prev | Next

A/n: We’re all going to pretend like I didn't disappear for over a week. Enjoy!

To say you were on cloud nine would be an understatement. The next morning you were greeted with a ‘Good morning, beautiful’ text from Jaehyun. You skipped around happily while you got ready for class, even going as far as making breakfast for everyone. It was common knowledge that you weren’t a morning person, so Kun and Ten ate the food with caution. Throughout the day you found yourself smiling about the night before.

While you were having the time of your life, your friends were suffering greatly.

“She’s grossing me out.” Jaemin whispered to the group while you stared out the window of the café, a smile ever visible on your face.

“You’re telling me. Some guy spilled coffee on her notebook and she didn’t kill him. Shit was wild.” Yangyang informed.

“Let me punch her one good time.” Renjun rolled up his sleeves for added effect

“No.” Jeno interjected.

Laughing, you turned to your friends. You leaned your head on Renjun’s shoulder and giggled. Renjun’s death glare softened when he glanced at your smiley disposition. He patted your head and asked what’s got you acting like an idiot. Sitting upright, you glanced at the group and broke out another stupid smile.

“Remember that cute little girl I'm babysitting, well she has a very handsome, very funny, very sweet, ver-”

“Say ‘very’ one more time and I swear to god.” Haechan hissed.

“Really amazing dad, who I may or may not have kissed.” You paused. “Well in all technicality he kissed me, but I kissed back. He even sent me a good morning text, how sweet is that? That’s not important, what is important is that I really like him guys.” You leaned down and planted your face on the table. You glanced up at your friends to gauge their reaction and was met with concern expressions. You leaned back up and bit your lower lip at the silence. “Words would be nice.”

“Um.” Lucas was the first to speak. He glanced at the group. “An older guy with a kid? Y/n you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?”

You paused for a second. That certainly wasn’t the reaction you were hoping for or even expecting. But you understood where they were coming from. You weren’t the type to date, casual make-outs here and there, but admitting you liked someone was completely left field. Admitting you liked someone with a kid was out of the solar system in their mind.

“I get it and I love you guys for worrying, but I need you to trust me on this.” You tried, but was still met with the same concern expressions. You tried to smile, but it quickly turned into a pout.

“Okay, but we’re killing him if he hurts you.” Mark was surprisingly the first to break.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” You beamed.

The art department was hosting a free entrance gallery viewing on campus that evening. Renjun, being your group’s pride and joy Picasso, was being featured. Despite his pleads of ‘don’t come you’ll just embarrass me’, the collective unit showed up for support. Jaehyun texted you earlier that day that Taeil kidnapped Hyunjin and she was hanging out with him for the rest of the day, so you were free.

Ditching the rest of the group you and Jaemin, being the only civilized two, walked quietly around. Stopping at every painting, you started to feel a little self- conscious. There wasn’t anything outstanding that you were talented in and envied the liberal arts majors. Sulking, you expressed your sadness to Jaemin since he always did a wonderful job at cheering you up.

“Y/n, you’re the only person I know who can confidently tell me the stages of a star’s death with exact numbers and shit. If that’s not talent, then I don’t know what is.”

“Ah, my valued party trick.” You joked bumping his side.

You walked further into the gallery and stared in awe at Renjun’s piece. It was a beautiful oil painting of what the sky would look like if the Milky Way and Andromeda collided. There was a quote under his name on the plaque ‘in about 4 billion years, but the sun would have turned into a red giant and swallow the earth whole– someone great’. You looked at Jaemin surprised and he just smiled.

“I guess it’s his way of saying he misses you. Which I can relate. I'm beyond happy that you have feelings for someone, but we miss having you around all the time. Just don’t forget us okay?”

You felt the tears prick your eyes and tried to wield them back. The fact that Renjun would take the time and effort to paint something this elaborate with you in mind when he could have just easily texted made your heart ache. That coupled with Jaemin’s words broke the seal and tears started to fall. To hide them you wrapped yourself around him and mumbled ‘I hate you’ into his chest. You felt the rumble of his laugh and a kiss on the crown of your head.

“You found it.” Renjun’s voice broke through. He and the rest made their way over to you. Jaemin gently transferred you onto Renjun.

“You made her cry.” Jaemin teased. You buried yourself in Renjun’s chest, a little embarrassed that your emotions got the better of you. You felt Jaemin’s hand stroke your hair and heard the rest of your friends’ coo, each lovingly teasing you for your tears.

“I'm sorry I suck.” You cried. They of course disagreed with the statement, but you felt bad for ditching them and only today telling them why. You were a chaotic bunch, but when it came down to it you were each other’s support system.

“You’re being such a Pisces right know.” Haechan laughed, effectively killing the moment. You pushed yourself off Renjun and tried to choke him out.

You walked through the lobby of the gallery ready to go when you spotted a poster with Jaehyun’s name on it. Completely ignoring the conversation you were having with Haechan, you walked up to it.

“This Jaehyun that you might or might not be dating isn’t Jung Jaehyun, right? The guy who’s designing the new art building. Like the millionaire.” Renjun appeared next to you.

“No, it is.” You answered simply. You heard Renjun calmly hum before he screamed for everyone to help. An uproar surfaced over the topic.

“So, in conclusion, Y/n is a sugar baby.” Jaemin proclaimed.

“No, I'm not.”

“How much are you getting paid to babysit his child?” Yangyang asked.

“Not telling… Man look at the time I have to go home and rethink my life choices. See you tomorrow!”

“I quit.” You said while you and Jaehyun were preparing dinner. The statement completely caught him off guard causing him to drop the spatula and resulted in a mess over the stove. You quickly apologized and handed him a rag.

“Why? Was there something I did? Its school isn’t it? Having to watch Hyunjin and be a full-time student is too much. God Y/n I'm sorry I-”

“No, you didn’t do anything. It’s nothing like that.” You smiled, grabbing his hand. “My friends unknowingly made a good point the other day. I enjoy being around both you and Hyunjin and it feels weird that you pay me to do that. So, I quit.”

Jaehyun looked at you for a second, clearly trying to find the right words to say.

“An allowance?”

“Oh my god that’s worse. I'm not a sugar baby Jaehyun!” You busted out laughing and he did the same.

“I know I just want to see if you'd say that.” He confessed laughing. “Okay, if it makes you feel better, I’ll take your letter of resignation.” He placed a kiss on your lips.

“I saw that!” Hyunjin yelled as she finished setting the table.

“No, you didn’t!” Jaehyun yelled back.

Dinner was slightly more chaotic than usual. Hyunjin was convinced she saw you two kissing and Jaehyun was jokingly convinced that she needed glasses. The two went back and forth and you tried not to die from laughing. The climax of the dinner peaked when Hyunjin walked over and kissed you on the cheek. She proudly stuck her tongue out at her father and declared that she could kiss you too. You were convinced that the two Jungs were going to be the death of you.

You were washing the dishes when you felt arms snake around your waist. A smile spread as you were being gently swayed left and right, light peppered kisses sprinkled the back of your neck.  You both stayed in silence as you finished your task.

“There’s a charity event tomorrow that I'm being forced, by Taeyong, to attend. I would be honored if you would accompany me?” He spun you around so you were facing him.

“Me? Are you sure? Plus, who’s going to take care of Hyunjin?” Insecurity was your immediate emotion. You were acutely aware of your different social classes as is, but going to a, mostly likely, high-end charity event wasn’t something you were comfortable with.

“She’s having a sleep over at her friend’s house. I only have to show my face for an hour an hour thirty tops, then the night is ours.” He said caressing your cheek. After giving it some thought, you reeled back your anxiety a bit.

“Okay.”

When you woke the next morning, you were hit with two panic thoughts. One, you were late, but decided fuck it you had enough absences left. Two, the most important one, you had nothing to wear that evening. You quickly grabbed your phone ready to cancel on Jaehyun when Ten opened your door. You both stared at each other for a second.

“Don’t tell Kun I'm skipping.” You pleaded.

“Got you. Also, there’s a tree in the living room that wants to see you.” He shrugged at your confused face and pointed to the living room.

“Johnny?” The surprised evident in your voice.

“Morning sunshine. I come bearing gifts.” He held up one large and small box. Hesitantly, you took them. “Jaehyun called me freaking out because his dumb ass asked you to the event tonight without making sure you had a dress ready. Lucky for you two, I exist.”

“Do you want me to try it on and mak-”

“Nah, it’ll fit. I'm late. See you tonight.” Before you could get anything else out, Johnny was out the door.

You glanced in the larger box to find a beautiful champagne lace off the shoulder dress. You stared in awe at how pretty it was. Turning it around you saw that the price tag was covered with a smile with its tongue out and a JS initial next to it. You laughed and found that the shoes and accessories shared the same mark.

“Wow.” Ten whistled picking up the shoes. “My baby is moving up in the world.” He carefully placed everything back in their boxes and ordered you to get ready for your next class.

The day flew by faster than you would have liked. At one point you demanded that Jeno acquire the power to slow time. Being the sweetest person ever, he tried.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t excited. Not knowing what to expect gave you anxiety, but the realization that you get to see Jaehyun in a three-piece suit made you want to scream. You looked down at your outfit and felt a little like a princess. It was nowhere near your usual attire and you had to give it to Johnny for picking out something this flattering for you. You did a little spin and chuckled.  

A few minutes later, Jaehyun showed up and you were whisked away. During the car ride you would steal glances at him and saw him do the same. You were at a red light when you caught each other in the act, which caused you to laugh at your silliness.

“So, if you plan on only being there for an hour, why bring me?” You asked curious.

“Honestly, I wasn’t going to ask you. But the guys made a good point, that it would be rude not to invite my girlfriend and have other girls ‘fight over me the whole evening’. They said they’re tired of seeing that.” Jaehyun confessed without a thought. There was silence from your end of the car. He pulled up to another red light and turned to you.

“Girlfriend?” You said wide-eyed. You saw his face shift into panic mode.

“Shit I meant to say that in a more romantic setting.”

A stupid smile broke across your face. “No actually that was perfect.”

“Pretend you didn’t hear that and let me try again later.” He pleaded.

“Absolutely not.” You had to stop yourself from dying of laughter. The two of you debated over the semantics of a perfect confession until you reached the venue. Looking up at the five-star hotel you felt your anxiety rise again. You started biting on your bottom lip when you felt Jaehyun bring your face near his.

“You know you have a very dangerous nervous twitch.” You shuddered as his breath fanned your face. He glanced down at your bottom lip and placed a kiss on it as if apologizing for your abuse. “You don’t need to worry; I’ll be right by you the whole time.” He said before leaning in for a real kiss. This one was different than the rest, it was softer and warmer. It had a magical effect of putting your heart to rest. You pulled away when the valet arrived. Jaehyun tossed over his keys and guided you into the building. You were immediately hit with the smell of expensive perfume and cologne. Everything looked obnoxiously wealthy and you inwardly cringed, but put your best smile foreword.

“You have such a wonderful fake smile.” Jaehyun softly commented as he nodded at some random guy.

“Thanks. I hate everything right now.” You smiled at him. He snickered as he introduced you to some older man and his wife. You were polite and commented on how beautiful she was, and she immediately took a liking to you. Jaehyun pulled you around meeting people while introducing you as his girlfriend. Every time he said it your smile turned less and less fake.

After a few minutes your face started to hurt, and you were looking for a way out of meeting another round of rich people. Looking around, you spotted Jaehyun’s friends talking amongst themselves over champagne. You pulled on Jaehyun’s sleeve and nodded in their direction.

“You go. I’ll be there in a minute.” He whispered. You nodded and excused yourself.

“Damn I did a good job.” Johnny praised when you walked up, resulting in a smack on the arm by Taeyong.

“You look beautiful Y/n.” Taeyong commented. You let them know just how much you hated being there and they related with the feeling. Sicheng got you a glass and Taeil laughed at your disgusted face after you drank some.

Jaehyun approached and eyed you and the glass of champagne.

“I don’t see the hype.” You handed him the glass. They began to talk business and you tuned out. Jaehyun’s arm snaked around your waist and you copied the action. You looked up and smiled at him and heard Doyoung cooed.

“You just missed the cutest smile.” He nagged while hitting Jaehyun’s free arm.

“Jaehyun is that you?” A whiny female voice entered. Everyone’s head turned to the noise. You saw everyone excluding Jaehyun roll their eyes and looked yourself. It was a woman about the same age as the rest who was by all accounts stunning, but was wearing too much makeup and not enough clothes. She walked up and pulled him into a hug. Jaehyun, being ever the gentleman, pulled his arm from around you and hugged her back.

“Kate. How are you?” He smiled.

“I'm doing wonderful, so sweet of you to ask.” You saw Yuta fake gag. They talked for a minute before you were introduced.

“This is my girlfriend Y/n. Y/n this is Kate; her company has worked with mine in the past.” You put back on your fake smile, holding out your hand. She shook it as if it was contaminated, but your smile didn’t waiver. You could tell she didn’t like you which was fine since the feeling was mutual. She very clearly flirted with Jaehyun a bit more until he and the others were called over by one of the older men you were talking to earlier.

Awkward wasn’t the right word for the situation, but it was the one that fit it best. The two of you stood in silence as her acrylic nails tapped on the table.

“You’re a bit young aren’t you.” She stated. You had to suppress an eye roll. You nodded and told her that you were a college student. She then spent the next few minutes lowkey insulting you while masking it as older sister advice.

“Listen love, because I like you, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Guys who go after younger girls like yourself only want one thing.” She twirled your hair between her fingers.

Thoroughly done with her basic jealous attitude, you pulled yourself away from her.

“God your insults are as bland as your dress.” You sighed. “That may be true for some people, but I doubt he would put in the effort of bring me here, would he?” You smirked. “Desperation isn’t a cute look on anyone, love.” You smiled as you walked away. You turned to find Jaehyun’s friends close by with surprise faces.

“We were ready to tear that bitch a new one, but you got it.” Yuta said in awe.

“That’s it. You’re officially my child.” Doyoung was almost in tears.

“Where’s Jaehyun? We’re reaching two hours and I want to go.” You groaned. Taeil and Sicheng volunteered to hunt him down while Doyoung and Taeyong gave you a speech on the perks of being their collective child.

The minute you entered Jaehyun’s place you threw off your heels.

“I'm really sorry about tonight.” Jaehyun said picking the shoes up and putting them on a rack.

“Don’t apologize. I got two cool dads out of it.” You laughed laying down on the couch. “While I adore this dress Johnny got me, I would love nothing more than to get out of it.” You confessed innocently. It took you a second to realize the weight of your word. Leaning up, you saw how red Jaehyun went and a blush worked its way across your face.

“I know what you meant. I’ll get you something to change into.” He said quickly before disappearing down the hall. You face planted into the cushions and screamed until he came back. He handed you an oversized hoodie with a pair of shorts and told you that you could use his room to change in.

Walking down the corridor you noticed how oddly quiet everything was. Not having Hyunjin screaming and laughing about was an empty feeling. It was as if the house lost a bit of it color. You shook off the feeling and entered Jaehyun’s room.

You instantly fell in love. It was a soft cream-colored room with huge glass windows spread across the furthest wall with a patio attached. You looked around at all the plants and hanging baskets that decorated the room. There were three large bookcases with books and photos on them. The bed was the size of three of yours put together and was paired with a white duvet. The room was exactly what you expected to be, but you couldn’t help but be amazed at how simply beautiful it was.

Deciding that you imposed enough, you changed into the clothes and was faced with a problem. The hoodie basically swallowed you whole and reached beyond the shorts. Shrugging, you went about finding Jaehyun in the living room.

“I look like a child.” You flapped the remaining length of the sleeves for emphasis and saw the tell-tale sign of red spread on Jaehyun’s ears. He bit back a smile and held his hand out, beckoning you to come. You traveled across the room and planted yourself on his lap.

“You did this on purpose.” You accused.

“Absolutely, you look adorable.” He confessed.

The night went along like your usual ones. It was your turn to pick a movie and of course you picked The Conjuring 2. About a quarter into the film, you felt Jaehyun pull you against him.

“Is this you distracting yourself from the movie like a scaredy cat?” You asked as he feathered kisses on your face.

“No.” He lied, pulling the blanket over your heads. Giving up on watching the movie, you turned to your boyfriend laughing that his boldness.

Now you had no intentions of staying the night. So, when you woke up warm with arms wrapped around you, you knew you fucked up. You looked up at Jaehyun sleeping figure and allowed yourself a few seconds the bask at how peaceful he looked. You gently brought his watch up and glanced at the time.

“Holy shit!” You screamed as you threw the covers off. Jaehyun’s eyes flew opened and he groaned. “It’s almost 9.” You shook him up. He stared at you for a solid minute before panicking as well.

“Fuck.” He hissed throwing the cover off himself. You were both incredibly late for your respective responsibilities. Which wouldn’t be a problem for you if you hadn’t skipped the day before. Fumbling around, you got ready in five minutes flat. On the car ride to campus you stole Jaehyun’s laptop and submitted a half-ass assignment that was due at the end of class while he called Johnny telling him that he’ll be late to their meeting. Breaking a few traffic laws, you made it to your lecture in time to sign the attendance roster.

“You look like shit.” Haechan and Lucas side eyed you as you slid into your seat.

“Shut up.”

After class was over Lucas offered to dive you back to your apartment to shower and change before your afternoon classes. You hugged the giant and told him how much you loved him.

“So…”

“I didn’t have sex.” You said bluntly as he followed you up the stairs. Kun, who was hanging out in the living room, looked you up and down. A look of skepticism painted on his face.

“Did you-” He began.

“No.” You walked past him and into the bathroom.

“Ten owns me $20.”

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2007

18 to 19 years old. Things were slowly starting to get better and better.

15 honorable mentions, but this is still only a top 10. What an incredible, amazing year for music. My favorite hit song for the entire decade is in there! I think everyone already knows what that is because I am, in fact, extremely predictable.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

Second to third year of my History studies. Met a great guy. So great, in fact, that I married him in 2019 because we’re still living together 13 years later. Got my first summer job but spent my first pay on driving lessons, because, again, I needed to get out of my parents’ appartment and knowing how to drive would be good to find a job. I had a much better access to internet. I still had great grades. Things were getting much better.

I stopped making my personal lists of favorite songs that year, and I had an mp3 player, which really opened a world of possibilities even if you could only put something like 40 songs on it, at best.

I was still reading Rock Mag a lot. As you can see, the biggest controversy at the time was what was emo and what wasn’t.

We were alright.

As far as non-elligible songs go, well there’s I Still Remember by Bloc Party (and the fact I can’t put it on the list is a heartbreak and a half) and basically everything from Year Zero by Nine Inch Nails. Nightwish, Epica and Within Temptation all had pretty good albums too.

Here’s a metric ton of honorable mentions first!

Snow (Red Hot Chili Peppers) - Perfectly pleasant song.

D.A.N.C.E (Justice) - Never understood why this was so popular. Still good.

Love is Gone (David Guetta) - Heyyyy another repetitive dance track, perfect.

Miracle (Cascada), Smack That (Akon), Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol), SexyBack (Justin Timberlake) and Say It Right (Nelly Furtado & Timbaland) - Still elligible songs for that year. Still great songs. Still not making the list.

Butterfly (Superbus) - I didn’t like this band, but I liked that song.

Thanks for the Memories (Fall Out Boy) - Same here basically.

Who Knew (Pink) - Not her best, but not her worst by a mile either.

Walk It Out (Unk) - Stayed in my head for days, I swear. I have no idea what the general opinion about it is nowadays. Maybe that’s a humiliating pick and I genuinely have no idea.

Crank That (Soulja Boy) - I do, however, know that the fact this very nearly made the list IS hilarious.

Alive (Mondotek) - Laugh all you want about the tektonik phenomenon, this is still a banger and a half.

Sound of Freedom (Bob Sinclar & Cutee B) - Not as good as Rock This Party. That’s the only thing I can say against it.

Umbrella (Rihanna) - This is an edit because holy shit I forgot Umbrella. It very nearly made the list too. Sorry.

And now, possibly one of the best top tens yet.

10 - This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race (Fall Out Boy)

US: #32 / FR: #71

Almost everyone got the lyrics wrong. The title is way too long. I really don’t like this band of pretentious idiots; if you’re gonna be pretentious at least write about something more grand and epic than your own navel, and go all out (more on that later). Nobody ever really cared about their supposed feud with Panic! At The Disco. And, to make matters even worse, the singer looked exactly like the terrible ex I had punched in the face the previous year.

This is still a damn good song and it’s on the list instead of any of the honorable mentions.

RIP me.

9 - How To Save A Life (The Fray)

US: #24 / FR: Not on the list

You already know I loved The Fray. This song could have apparently also made the previous list but it’s on this one instead. It was overplayed. I still loved it.

8 - U + Ur Hand (Pink)

US: #29 / FR: Not on the list

In 2002, I bought Pink’s Missundaztood album and as you might remember this was the second album I ever bought in my life, right before the gigantic trainwreck that highschool was.

The fact that about five years (that felt like twelve) later, Pink was on the other side of that trainwreck, back in my earphones, just as energetic and fun as she was before, was nothing short of heartwarming.

7 - Je Suis Un Homme (Zazie)

US: Not on the list / FR: #43

I’m not gonna beat around the bush. This song is terrifying.

Here’s a translation. Yeah, it’s about humanity destroying the Earth and itself in various ways, and it’s preachy, but holy shit, how can something be so bleak, so scary and still so catchy. It’s a mystery.

6 - Double Je (Christophe Willem)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

When I first heard this song, I genuinely thought that was also Zazie and I was like oh wow, she’s learned to have fun again after that bleak, bleak song.

But no. She only wrote it, and it’s sung by this guy. It’s relatable as hell (”When I grow up it’s gonna be easy, I’ll finally know what I am”, “Who’s fault is it? / I’m something and its opposite / Double me”). The fact that a guy had this kind of voice and that a ton of people loved it (enough for him to win a big talent show and make this the second biggest song of the year!) also did wonders for my dysphoria, by the way.

5 - Ta Meuf (Faf Larage)

US: Not on the list / FR: #19

This is a song applying the most obnoxious rap and hip hop clichés about gangsters (and guys in general) to a woman, and she ends up terrorising all the guys and they’re realising these clichés might, in fact, be really toxic.

It’s a great song about gender roles usually seen in this kind of music and instead of being preachy, it’s hilarious, and well-written (I mean, it’s Faf Larage, it’s a given, but still). Check it out.

4 - Relax Take It Easy (Mika)

US: Not on the list / FR: #12

All hail the new king of pop. He was here to stay and what a breath of fresh air he was. This was very much his year in Europe as soon as the album Life In Cartoon Motion dropped.

My significant other absolutely loved this album and we listened to it wayyyy, way too much, and even with all the radio overplay AND the overplay when we were together, I still can’t get enough of this album.

3 - Love Today (Mika)

US: Not on the list / FR: #39

Here he is again!

If this was any other year this would top the list very easily. What were the US even thinking back then to not let this guy chart. Why isn’t Mika a huge star over there too. What is your problem guys. Do you have something against fun or what.

Anyway, here’s possibly the best comment on the music video:

I mean. You’re not wrong.

2 - What I’ve Done (Linkin Park)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

Aaaaaaand they’re back. And they’re once again topping my list. Lord have mercy on me. I loved them so much.

This was the first step into their modern sound, less raw, more U2. A couple of years later, when Lacuna Coil released Shallow Life, I used to joke that Lacuna Coil was trying to sound more and more like Linkin Park, that Linkin Park was trying to sound more and more like U2, and that U2 was trying to sound more and more like boring garbage and. I mean. I wasn’t wrong there.

My absolute favorite part of the song is at 2:24, when the music calms down a bit and the lyrics go “I start again / And whatever pain may come / Today this ends / I’m forgiving what I’ve done” and then the guitar explodes again. So powerful. Love it.

And now you’re probably thinking “so... Linkin Park was back, and with such a top quality song and it’s NOT your #1? After you put a Linkin Park song or a Linkin Park remix at #1 for three years in a row in 2002, 2003 AND 2004? What’s going on, Jo? Are you okay?”

Oh I’m more than okay. Friends and enemies, here comes the absolute best hit song of the entire decade and possibly of my entire life so far.

You probably already know what it is.

1 - Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance)

US: #59 / FR: Not on the list (shame on you French charts)

I know I keep complaining about stuff I love not charting, or charting but not high enough to make any year-end list, but... How was this even allowed to chart. Why and how did it end up on the US year-end list when so many more radio-friendly hits I loved couldn’t even scratch the hot 100.

I’m not complaining at all. I’m just baffled.

Play the first note on a piano and I’m already a wreck. Heck, I’m pretty sure everyone from my generation is. It was basically our very own Bohemian Rhapsody. It still is. Where do I even start.

Oh. I know. Look at this page from a 2006 Rock Mag, it’s gold.

Yep, they highlighted The Open Door by Evanescence and praised it, and were like “this is very risky and ambitious and we’re not sure you’re gonna like this” for The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. Hilarious in hindsight.

A few months later, the same magazine was desesperately using double pages to interview them because everyone adored the album.

So in case you’ve never listened to it (I’m... not even sure why I’m doing this since I’m pretty sure even people who don’t like this type of music have tried to out of sheer curiosity), it’s a concept album about a guy (...possibly. I mean there’s a lot of trans and/or nonbinary hints in the lyrics and did you really NEED to make all of this more relatable? What the hell guys) dying of cancer, remembering all the good and the bad things that happened in his life, and since his fondest memory is seeing a marching band once as a child, death arrives in the form of a marching band. He then settles some scores with his friends and family, says his goodbyes, and... and doesn’t die in the end. He ends up surviving the whole ordeal, and the last song, Famous Last Words, is one the most incredible things I’ve ever heard. It’s so propulsive, uplifting and motivating. “I am not afraid to keep on living / I am not afraid to walk this world alone”. Holy. Shit. Sadly, it’s not elligible.

Welcome to the Black Parade is basically the centerpiece of the album, as you already know or might have guessed, but here’s the thing. It also works out of context because there’s already an entire narrative arc within this one song. It’s larger than life. It’s about death and the meaning of existence. It basically contains all the stages of grief, and the conclusion it reaches is that this guy will be remembered and therefore, he will transcend death. It’s full of rage and passion and triumph. There’s key changes. There’s tempo changes. There’s everything. It’s a rock opera in a single song. I put it on my mp3 player immediately after listening to the album, and it’s still on my mp3 player today. I never, ever removed it. I listened to it countless times and every single time, it feels like rewatching one of my favorite movies.

Best hit song of 2007 by a mile. Best hit song of the decade, hands down, and now that the 2010s are over, I’m pretty confident in saying nothing has topped it so far. I’d say “fight me” if I thought this was a controversial opinion, but it’s not even that controversial.

And that feels damn right.

Next up: Is... is this a list with actual filler? Are you telling us there was ONE mediocre year for music in the 2000s? Sounds fake but okay

[platitvdes]

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: edward michael kaspbrak

NICKNAME(S): eddie, eds, spaghetti head, eddie spaghetti, spagheds, etc. by the losers/party. also wheezy, “sissy little queer boy,” and uh a bunch of other… more aggressive things by non–partylosers according to the book thanks a lot steve (king, not harrington)

AGE: eighteen

DATE OF BIRTH: september 3, 1976

HOMETOWN: derry, maine

CURRENT LOCATION: derry, maine

ETHNICITY: he white

NATIONALITY: americano

GENDER: cis male

PRONOUNS: he/him/his

ORIENTATION: het thanks!!!!! just kidding he’s a homoromantic homosexual

RELIGION: a good christian boiy. he was raised methodist. what is he really? who knows. fighting a giant clown monster demon thing makes you really question a lot about religion and he’s not willing to go too deep into it

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: left-leaning, but very moderately so, mostly influenced by his friends and also by the fact that maine has been a blue state pretty much for the entire time he’s been old enough to think about these things. his mom’s a democrat solely because she lives off the welfare system ( and because she finds bill clinton incredibly charming and charismatic ); otherwise she’d definitely be a republican

OCCUPATION: student, a sad small gay

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: he lives with his momma in a very toxic environment also his mom is lowkey a hoarder it’s not so bad that he’s embarrassed to invite people over but like she’s a hoarder

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english and…. english

ACCENT: um idk a maine accent

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: timothée chalamet

HAIR COLOUR: dark brown

EYE COLOUR: hazel—sometimes more green, sometimes more brown, sometimes more weirdly gold-ish; depends on the day and lighting

HEIGHT: five feet, eight inches.

WEIGHT: one-hundred twenty-two pounds.

BUILD: skinny af and long-limbed ( for his stature ). not crazy short anymore, but still below average height

TATTOOS: LMAO

PIERCINGS: y’all. pls

CLOTHING STYLE: from my head canons, bc i’m too lazy to rewrite it: eddie often looks like he’s stepped out of the pages of a ralph lauren catalogue not because he is stylish or fashionable at all—he isn’t—but because he wears a lot of polos and shorts, though he doesn’t fill them out nearly as well as the ralph lauren models do. Especially pastel polos. he also frequently wears your good ol’ graphic tee and jeans combo, because you can’t go wrong there, right?

USUAL EXPRESSION: concerned tbh

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: slightly doe-eyed, extremely doe-bodied, a preppy haircut, an inhaler in hand, and also he’s probably getting squeaky-voiced about something and/or visibly shaking. like a chihuahua.

HEALTH

PHYSICAL AILMENTS: technically? none

NEUROLOGICAL CONDITIONS: LORDY okay so the number one most important one is munchausen syndrome and hypochondria courtesy of being the proxy of his mom’s munchausen by proxy; severe anxiety (including generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder); clinical depression; and, finally, i believe the medical term for it is “FOMO"

ALLERGIES: supposedly pollen, animal dander, insect bites/stings, dust, latex, mold, wool, and, like, a bunch of other shit. he does actually have some allergies, especially to pollen/animal dander/dust, that aren’t super severe and therefore don’t necessarily present typical allergy symptoms and contribute to his constant feelings of general illness and malaise that heighten the aforementioned hypochondria. he also is actually allergic to latex. womp womp

SLEEPING HABITS: not the best but not the worst—eddie falls asleep early enough and wakes early enough, especially when left to his own devices, but he’ll often stay up later just to be in the group chat because of the aforementioned FOMO and also because richie will usually show up at his house and they’ll just talk for a while. but even then tbh he has a hard time staying up later than like 1 or 2, and even on the weekends he’ll wake up pretty early. so……… all this adds up to having ambitions of getting a good amount of sleep, not getting Terrible amounts of sleep, but also not getting Enough sleep.

EATING HABITS: you would think he would have some special diet and maybe in 2018 he would be raised eating nothing but kale and granola and gluten free shit but bitch it’s 1994 eddie eats hella processed foods

EXERCISE HABITS: that’s cute idk he gets exercise from running from bullies and riding his bike w his friends although they don’t do that as much anymore now that people have cars

EMOTIONAL STABILITY: 1 probably eddie is always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. in actuality he’s probably around a 7, which is much higher than you might think; as much as he is indeed constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown, he’s done a pretty good job of pushing down literally everything into a well so deep that most people, including himself, can’t really tell what’s wrong or what’s going on, and it’s been that way for a long, long time. or anyway, repression is the only version of emotional stability he’s learned to manage and maintain, which probably doesn’t actually count as very stable, so who knows, maybe he’s a 3.

SOCIABILITY: not as introverted as one might think; he’s definitely an introvert and needs some time alone to recharge, but in general, he prefers being around his friends to not being around them and will go out of his way to be with the people he’s closest to

BODY TEMPERATURE: runs cold, typically, which also means he gets cold easily, which sucks when you live in fucking maine

ADDICTIONS: none

DRUG USE: a seasoned pill popper of all kinds of vitamins and various placebos. he’s also on like 35 different mental health related medications. i know this isn’t what you were looking for but this is eddie kaspbrak

ALCOHOL USE: fam, come on

PERSONALITY

LABEL: “the little nervous one,” according to me upon my first watch of IT (2017); the crepehanger

POSITIVE TRAITS: loyal, feisty, energetic, brave

NEGATIVE TRAITS: defeatist, anxious, rambling, hypocritical

GOALS/DESIRES: to overcome his biggest fears, mainly—which means to be able to leave derry ( and his mother ) behind; to accept that he is not some sickly boy in need of protecting; to feel comfortable in his own skin.

FEARS: disease, death, abandonment, intense feelings of any kind honestly, his sexuality, exposure of said sexuality, change, his mom, disappointing his mom, independence, failure

HOBBIES: comics, movies, spending fucking HOURS reading medical websites and learning that all roads lead to cancer, hanging out with The Gang™, annoying his friends, lecturing his friends, sneaking out of his house, super mario bros, is candy a hobby? it is now, not dungeons and dragons ‘cause he’s not a fuckin nerd

HABITS: nail biting, compulsive timekeeping, pencil chewing tbh but only at Home, ice chewing also…..it’s super bad for your teeth but man does he love it……., assuming death lurks around every corner and shouting at everyone else about it

FAVOURITES

WEATHER: he likes a sunny day in weather that is slightly crisp, like late september, bc he has seasonal allergies

COLOUR: blu. particularly a good royal blue. sometimes sky blue if he’s feeling festive

MUSIC: pop music mostly…………. he loves a diva. he is a Loud whitney houston stan but he keeps his madonna love much closer to the vest

MOVIES: comedies definitely. he doesn’t care much for movies that are like, cinematically renowned and artsy or whatever. he’s here for something stupid that’ll make him laugh. he really likes dumb and dumber, embarrassingly enough. he also loves bill & ted. it’s his favorite movie. good ol wholesome fun, there.

SPORT: tennis obviously

BEVERAGE: an arnold palmer he’s really wildin out here

FOOD: honestly? a fuckin ice cream sundae

ANIMAL: penguins they’re gay and they mate for life

FAMILY

FATHER: frank kaspbrak. he died of cancer when eddie was a wee bab ( he was five so not actually a wee bab, but wee enough )

MOTHER: sonia kaspbrak, a devil woman

SIBLING(S): none

PET(S): he had a goldfish named arnold once that’s it

FAMILY’S FINANCIAL STATUS: lower middle class. his mom doesn’t work and lives solely off disability checks and the like, but they never seem to be for lack of money for eddie’s extensive medical care or, like, food or shelter.

EXTRA

ZODIAC SIGN: virgo binch

MBTI: ISFJ ( the defender )

ENNEAGRAM: type 6 ( the loyalist ), but actually he’s a type 6 with a type 5 wing that’s almost balanced, which, hilariously, is also called the defender

TEMPERAMENT: melancholic

HOGWARTS HOUSE: GRYFFINDOR FIGHT ME

MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful good

PRIMARY VICE: envy

PRIMARY VIRTUE: charity

ELEMENT: earth

[i-w-p-chan]

so, here is that Third Phase Backstage (a.k.a extra details and the fic’s background) + I.W.P-chan’s comments while writing it (all taken from my PMs to @onceabluemoonwrites also, long post is looooong): 

Do you read Hanahaki AUs? when I do, I wonder about technicalities of the AU like the mental and emotional drawbacks of the surgery. 

I’m still hung on the ‘emotional and mental drawbacks of the surgery’ I really need to find a decent post-surgery fic. all of the fics I passed focus on getting the disease, suffering through it and then being cured/dying. none of them really talks about how it would feel to wake up only to find a part of you empty from feelings. 

I’ve passed a Hanahaki AU again and it made me think. I really want a Hanahaki AU (with ‘the disease takes a couple of years before hitting critical stage’ idea) where a person A discovers they have Hanahaki and realizes who the person they have unrequited love for is, and then proceeds to court them.

why do the Hanahaki AUs have to be about gearing up to the confession? are there any out there where the one with the Hanahaki tries to court their love interest? where they try to build a relationship of romantic nature with their love interest to have a better chance with them instead of just putting on the spot with a confession?

I think that would be good?

(bonus: “You know, I used to have Hanahaki.” choke “wHAT?!”)

I truly want the Hanahaki fics I talked about (the post-surgery fic and teh courtship fic) and so my brain started to come up with an idea to mix the two of them with 0027. the two of them meet when one of them is visiting the hospital for the surgery while the other is there for a reason or the other (I haven’t decided yet), they keep meeting up even after the surgery, with the latter helping the former get over the post-surgery Feels (still don’t know what to call them) and ends up getting Hanahaki himself, deciding to court the other after he gets better.

I’m thinking Tsuna is the one who has Hanahaki and takes the surgery, Enma develops Hanahaki later.

Remember the 0027 Hanahaki AU I said I wanted to write? I’ve been thinking about it and Mami surprisingly shoved her way in (and opened up a doorway for me to use to make Tsuna and Enma interact. but this threw a shade of Anyone Can Have Hanahaki in the fic)

Support groups for people with Hanahaki are a thing. Mami also has Hanahaki, she’s in love with her friend who is aromantic, this friend is the one who convinced her to join a support group. there, Mami meets Tsuna who is already half-convinced to take the surgery. Tsuna’s choice to do it convinces her to do it herself. that’s how Enma meets Tsuna: Mami insists on visiting Tsuna the day before the surgery (and then many times after the surgery) and Enma takes her. some time later, when it’s Mami’s turn for the surgery, it’s Tsuna’s turn to visit. Mami successfully undergoes the surgery, Tsuna is around helping her get back to her feet, and Enma realizes ‘holy shit I love him’ (let’s give Enma kudos for hiding the fact he has Hanahaki from two people who had it before and his own family).

the fic is probably going to contrast three cases (Tsuna: hopeless, unrequited love, object of affection never considered him in a romantic light and not even around anymore, possibly via either death or traveling. Mami: hopeless, unrequited love, object of affection is aromantic but is highly supportive of her and cares deeply about her, is there every step pf the way towards the surgery and after. Enma: not hopeless, unrequited love, object of affection is around and on good terms with him, possibility of having his love requited). if I can do the contrast in my writing.

if I wanted to slip in any mafia/Vongola-related things into it and had the chance, this is what happened with the Vongola: Nono goes senile some years before Tsuna is born and decides to step down and give the boss position to Enrico (this is the reason the mafia as a whole declared Timoteo senile, like, who in their right mind would put ENRICO in charge?), Enrico digs a bit into Vongola history and finds out about the Shimon. he is hit with Feels and decides to renew the Vongola-Shimon connections (”let me enjoy a new OTP pseudo-getting together” in reference to GiottoCozart). Deamon tries to pull some shit but Enrico is fueled by shipping power (and ship hate, eh’s still smarting from those Deamon/Ricardo shippers okay?) and successfully gets rid of Deamon. no one really wants to know how it happened.

(and there, right there, is clearly all the evidence needed to tell you that all the madness comes from the mafia. just look at how different the mafia half and the hanahaki half are)

How gay do you think Enma is for Tsuna? if I can do it in the narrative flow, Enma���s first thought about Tsuna in Third Phase will be: ‘that guy has Hanahaki? who wouldn’t want THAT?’ like, Enma, tone it down, you’re making me want to put it in when I’m not sure if I’ll be able to fit it in

(extra: Enma’s inner Mami would metaphorically bash him on the head right after those thoughts, “Hanahaki is about ROMANTIC love not lust!” Enma’s reaction thoughts are like “but two years are enough to grow to love someone, right? right.” it would be a nice foreshadowing for when Enma gets Hanahaki himself.)

me: how should I write Third Phase? me: Enma sees Tsuna and basically goes ‘well, fuck me’ what more do you need?

me @ self: Third Phase is supposed to be about the contrast between the various Hanahaki cases! not about Enma falling in love with Tsuna! self: AHAHAHAHAHA self: you innocent child. give in to the 0027. you know you want to. me: ...damn... you... gah.

I made kind of a differentiation between how far along Tsuna, Mami and Enma are in their Hanahaki. Enma stays in the early stages before it’s gone, so he doesn’t cough a lot of times, OR a lot of petals. not much blood and no flowers. breathing is only slightly labored. Mami is in the middle stages, coughs regularly during the day but not with a lot of petals (and the occasional flower) and blood, gets bad episodes from time to time where she basically coughs too much and ends up vomiting. her breathing gets labored easily but not enough that she ends up winded after a 5 or 10 minute walk. Tsuna is in the final stages with the worse condition, he coughs a lot with a lot of petals/flowers and blood. must take care to do things carefully and to not strain himself else he’ll have episodes just as bad as Mami’s but on more regular basis, his voice is quiet and hoarse as a result.

I really wanted to expand a bit on the Hanahaki to incorporate it in a more... detached? fashion. like, not focusing on handling the hanahaki like the other fics I read (either by character death or confession-then-discovery-of-mutual-love), but do EVERYTHING except confessing. Tsuna is in the most dangerous state between the three (a bad enough episode with no one around to get him help and he’ll be gone) but he doesn’t die, his love-interest is the one who is ALREADY dead. Mami has no chance even if she confessed because her love interest is Aro. Enma doesn’t confess and decides to take matters into his own hands by wooing his love interest.

Enma is lost like, ‘I want to text Cute Guy but how do I do that? how do you text people you think are cute? what is texting? he’s currently agonizing on the couch. Mami is not there to laugh at him, at least. small mercies.

*coughgooglehowdoyoutextcuteguys?cough*

there is now a Tsuna protection squad. Mami is in it adn Enma wonders where he can sign up.

also, Enma is Gone. he keeps being swung about two extremes ‘is he smitten or is this just a passing crush’ he doesn’t know and neither does the author.

on a scale of 1000 to 1000,000, how much do you think Tsuna’s friends will mind if Tsuna dragged Enma to his bedroom for cuddles post-surgery

I don’t know how to write post-surgery!Tsuna. Hibari and Mukuro are clearly the Harbingers of Crack. Things Escalate (That’s What You Call Jumping On A guy You’ve Only Met Last Week And Demanding Cuddles). new definition of being petty: someone sends you cookies that suck and you give all of them to that someone’s love interest. Enma discovers hidden maternal instincts of ‘I MUST FEED HIM’

Hanahaki Fic, I.W.P-chan Style

*squints at screen* is this what they call romance fiction?

help what is even romance fiction I don’t know how to write anymore and the supposed cuddle session doesn’t even happen it moves onto talk about how bad Mami’s cookies were which moves onto talk about Fuuta and holy hell I had no idea that when I popped Mami in as a way to link Tsuna and Enma that she would be ENMA’s link in, and that TSUNA’s link in would be FUUTA. just like Enma is a Concerned Big Brother and is Very Glad his sister has Tsuna in her life, Tsuna is Very Glad his brother’s friend’s family doesn’t hold a grudge against him for Mami’s Hanahaki.

holy shit me, why is this so detailed you need to focus more on Tsuna’s post-surgery state isn’t that one half of why you wanted to write the fic in the first place?

have I mentioned how dramatic Enma is being? also, teh saying ‘tthe way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ holds true for him. and apparently, mama Kozato’s cooking is heavenly while papa Kozato’s coffee is to die for. adn I just wrote 500 words starring hungry!Enma promising his soul over for Tsuna in gratitude for the food. help?

I just realized that in Third Phase, Enma lowkey has hints of a sister complex stemming from the attempted murder on her when she was little... it explains so fucking much...

500 words later and how much more Smitten can Enma fucking be?????!!!!! I’m serious, I thought the conversation on the first not-very-official date would be awkward but Enma went for the fucking jugular and semi-confessed and I’m trying to keep up with how fast things are going. I wonder why the heck things/places that appear once before in the fic get to reappear. and Enma flipped a fucking switch: once he realized that he was in love with Tsuna he can no longer go a page without reiterating the fact and being smitten over Tsuna.

I’m just... I’m just suffering. quietly. while writing in a fucking rush while trying to keep up.

I wanted Tsuna and Enma to take their time. maybe at least take a month before Tsuna realized what Enma felt for him. but nOPE. it’s all Enma’s fault. you just don’t tell someone what he said to Tsuna and look at them the same way and expect them not to realize that there’s something not exactly platonic happening.

I thought the visit to Shimon Island will go by pretty uneventful but guESS WHAT? ENMA AND TSUNA TOLD ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF AND PROCEEDED TO PLAY IN THE WATER AND LEAD UP TO MOMENTS(TM) AND NOW WE’RE ABOUT TO HAVE TSUNA WEARING ENMA’S CLOTHES APPROX AT LEAST SIX MONTHS EARLIER THAN I EXPECTED.

F R I C K

I’m reading what I last wrote for Third Phase and I found out that I can’t write pining for shit...

while writing Third Phase, i keep getting flashes of ‘am I reaching the end at last?’ but then the fic goes ‘SIKE we still have more to go’

holy shit. wait. wait. wait. am I actually... really truly about to write the ending scene? *kneels on the floor* oh my god I though it was going to drag on some more.

I... I... excuse me while I sob as I write the final scene...

how much of a bad author would I be if I told you that I never intended to write the entirety of 0027 dating and the moment Enma’s hanahaki fades away and that I decided from the start that the final scene will be post-time skip post-Enma’s hanahaki recovery with established 0027?

[incorrectmidc]

50 Questions! Yaayyy~

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

Tagged by @theempresskaizer and since I can’t sleep (and I really love tagging games), here I am. Thank you, Ythmir! :) I feel you about your favourite pens btw. The only store that sells my favourite pen closed down recently here and the other store that sells it is in Manila. ;^;

1. What kind of food can’t you stand? AMPALAYA (bitter gourd). It was a traumatic experience. D:

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? if my laptop would just stop malfunctioning every 2 weeks, it would be nice.

3. Have you got any useless talents? i play three different instruments, and it’s not useful now... i think. i really wanted to be either an astronaut or a musician when i was a kid. dad refused to let me enroll at a music school in favour of a “more prestigious” university (parents’ words) so i feel it’s kinda useless now.

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be? ha! i’m an awesome procrastinator. is there even a word? lol. but srsly, i could be a good musician. if i just put effort into it. XD

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking - well, the concept of beauty is relative. my preferences are kuroba mario, cosplayers hikarin and syo seunghyo, kimura tatsunari, matt bomer

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? my sister and i used to sneak into our parents’ room and play with our mom’s beauty kit, like we would mix the lotions, alcohols, colognes, powders and stuff while pretending to be scientists and whatnots. we even tried to eat our concoction, to see what it tastes like. xD good thing someone saw us. lol.

7. What is something you’re proud of? i can learn anything if i just put my mind into it. i’m good at studying (my dad made sure of it lol).

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? nosy. i don’t like nosy people. i’m more of a keep-to-myself person so i really loathe these kind of people.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? both. tho i really don’t like to lead that much since it’s too much work. the laziest person i know is me btw. but i can be a leader when i absolutely have to.

10. What kind of student are/were you? high school, both the teacher’s pet and the kind they hate since i tend to speak my mind. college, i am the ordinary student who doesn’t have any clubs since it’s too troublesome.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? yepppp!

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion clowns. i don’t like clowns. i hate mcdonald’s mascot.

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? yes. kei tsukishima of haikyuu!! especially. :P

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? i don’t like parties. i never go to parties if i don’t have to. i hate large celebrations (birthdays, family and school reunions). i prefer the company of my closest friends and immediate family over parties. i only have 4 friends irl that i still keep in touch with tbh. on the other hand, drinking. i have yet to get drunk. lol. but when i have enough alcohol in me, i tend to become the philosopher. like, why do we even exist? are our existence significant or are we just a mere speck in this vast universe? yeah, that kind. oh, my friends and i usually go to karaoke when we get buzzed.

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? i’m not even sure i have fallen in love yet. i get long-time crushes tho. in fact, i still like this certain guy since i was in 1st year college. XD

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? the former. please refer to question 14 for the explanation lol

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? my dad tells me i have a landfill for a room. lol. i don’t mind. it’s organised chaos. XD

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy my room, on a rainy day with no one else at home and i have unlimited internet connection and books and coffee. and did i just mention i’m alone?

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? i don’t have one. not seeing myself getting married or having a child. i’m having another baby sister/brother soon tho so i think it’s enough. :D

20. What was your favorite book as a child? the two-can first encyclopedia series. i love the one that features the solar system.

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES A FIDGET SPINNER DO

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated fanfiction writers. i have nothing against fanarts but i would appreciate it if the same attention is given to fanfiction writers.

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? kimura tatsunari hehehe

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? have the time, and the money, to visit japan and prague. and then go to russia. oh, travel the world. alone. XD

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? depends on my mood. sometimes i just want to see the world burn.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? what’s a fad?

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? telenovelas. i wanna live like the heroine back then and now i try to forget all about it. XDD

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? kindness is something i admire and at the same time so foreign to me. sure, i can be nice but i’m never kind. i will never be kind. i know this person who’s so kind to everyone and i wonder what it’s like to be like that.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) i’m a hoarder of cute/pretty notebooks and pens so every year, during my birthday, my family and friends always have a new notebook/pen for me. i even got a fountain pen for my birthday last year which i haven’t used until now. XD

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? yep. filipino/tagalog, english. this native dialect called cebuano and a little bit of ilonggo. i’m currently studying japanese (self-study cos paying for lessons is expensive). i’m shit at kanji tho.

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? in the city tho not at the center of it.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? HAIKYUU!! my online bff has been convincing me to watch haikyuu!! for 4 years now and i was adamant at refusing cos i’m sure i’d hate it. i don’t even like volleyball. but when i watched it last year, i got hooked. now my main fandom is haikyuu!! //facepalm

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? noooo. i don’t like being put on spotlight. lemme work quietly in the background.

34. Favorite holiday? CHRISTMAS! i love seeing the decorations and the lights. i even go to malls just to stare at the decors and listen to christmas songs. i even have my own christmas tree in my room. it’s a small one tho. with christmas lights and all. hihihi. and also my birthday. i can do whatever i want on my birthday. nyahahaha

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? i only have a plan when i’m writing. i don’t even know what i’m going to do with my life. orz.

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) yes, there is, but i’d rather not forget it and experience it all over again. i’m content with the fuzzy feeling i get whenever i remember it. ^^

37. What hobbies do you have? playing games, going to cons, sleeping a lot, reading, and writing. my only extreme hobby is going mountain climbing. we even went once without any gears. it was fun but i’d rather not do something that unsafe again. o3o

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? the ability to learn different languages easily. wait, how can this be mildly useful? or maybe change my hairstyle at will? lol

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you that i’m 26. srsly, when i go to transact with government offices in behalf of the company i’m working for, they always think i’m an intern. wth.

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out this sounds silly, but putting back the chiller part of the fridge. i dislodged it once and i spent almost half an hour trying to put it back. XD

41. Worst injury you’ve had? i never had one. not a broken bone or anything. i only got hospitalized 2 times - when i was 2 and 9, respectively. and both because of dengue.

42. Any morbid fascinations? i like skulls and blowing zombies heads off. my most favourite game of all time is left 4 dead.

43. Describe your sense of humor corny and dry. sarcastic even.

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? in the gundam universe, like Cosmic Era, where people can live on another planet. i would relocate to saturn in a heartbeat.

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at being patient. patience is not my virtue.

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through an hour of jogging for a whole month to prepare myself (and increase the stamina) for a mountain climbing activity 2 years ago

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) the ugly one. i don’t really like markings on my face.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? for a pessimist, i’m pretty optimistic. (wait, is that a song? lol)

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? tbh, compliments about writing and work are the ones i’m usually flattered with. tho i suck at accepting compliments.

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you this is a fact. i have a resting bitch face so people often feel i’m always irritated/annoyed by them. 

you don’t have to do it if you don’t want tbh, but i’m tagging @lustfullyleocrawford @kakihoden @passengersaraht @emigotchi @leorysxi @oh-my-otome @spyroeden @acrispyapple @devanofficial @astridapples

[fooljshgirl]

50 more interesting questions tag!

Rules: Fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes! tagged by @dear-mrs-otome (thank you for making this questionnaire!) and @slbp-owns-ayame! thank u for making me feel included, friends💓 i’ve crossed some questions out, mainly cos i’m too unfocused to answer them or cos i couldn’t think of an answer 😅

1. What kind of food can’t you stand?: 

indian food, sadly ): i’ve had it once or twice and have therefore concluded that the spice is too much for me. i like their roti and naan, though!

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?: 

shaving & waxing, definitely. i’m hairy as hell but i don’t want to shave any other part than my intimates and underarms cos apparently once you shave or wax, the hair grows thicker and i definitely don’t want to deal with that.

3. Have you got any useless talents?: 

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be?: 

i’d love to master how to counter being unproductive. this is a serious issue for me and i Don’t Know What To Do anymore.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking: 

Kim Namjoon, Nam Joo Hyuk, Lee Min Ho, Cody Ko.

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid?: 

drawing! i loved it then. my dad even got me a book on how to draw in anime style when i was around 10 or 11.

7. What is something you’re proud of?: 

i got paid for a few published articles recently! i wasn’t expecting to, but am really proud of myself for it anyway.

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate?: 

attention-seeking 100%. especially if the person is just doing it to ‘fit in’. i find it really cringey and frankly unsavory. don’t do things you don’t want to do just to feel cool!!!!!!! 

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower?: 

a leader, tbh. i’d like to think i’m good at planning and motivating people to get moving on their tasks. as a follower, i always have suggestions as to how to make the plan more feasible, and eventually end up becoming the leader anyway.

10. What kind of student are/were you?: 

i used to be a great student, a teacher’s dream lmao but now i guess i’m still the same, it’s just overshadowed by my laziness and inability to recognize urgency.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life?: 

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion: 

I HATE BUGS AND INSECTS THEY ARE THE ONLY THINGS IN THIS WORLD I WILL HATE apparently this is called entomophobia

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable?: 

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties?: 

i’m a quiet, spaced out drunk. i look like the type to fall asleep at any moment, but i’d liven up the moment you talk to me. at parties, i’m usually one of those people at the sidelines, just watching the others at the beginning. at the end, i’m with my friends doing something we’d most likely get suspended for lol

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone?:

it depends on the person, i think. i catch feelings fairly easily if i think you’re cute, but actually falling in love would take prob a year from me, at least. i give my trust out quickly, but it’s not the kind of trust where i’d tell you all my deepest thoughts. it’s more of a, “yeah i’ll take you at your word, i don’t generally think you’’re shady” kind.

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends?: 

aaaaaaaaaaaa i’m torn! talking to one person all day all the time can be tiring and draining, but having a ton of casual friends means not rly having someone to vent to, or someone to bounce ideas off of. i guess right now, i’m leaning towards the latter, simply because if you have a hundred casual friends online, it’ll be less awkward to talk about ‘deep’ things because chances are, you don’t know each other in real life lol

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak?: 

both!!! i can be very organized and clean in the beginning, but then i get lazy to put whatever it is back to where i got it and i end up having a moderately organized messy work table.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy: 

sunlight pouring in through the slits of the window shades, making the room less dim. a white comforter on white sheets and black pillows, my laptop on top and hot tea on the bedside table, along with my phone. the air conditioner is on, the temperature matches perfect sweater weather. alternatively, cold wind blows in through the window.

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?: 

i don’t, and sometimes i think i want two of them! but who knows, everything changes.

20. What was your favorite book as a child? 

it’s more of a series; the Berenstain Bears! Mercer Mayer’s Little Critter is a close runner-up. 

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about: 

buying official band merch! while i understand that it’s because they’re your idols, coming from someone who’s been a hard stan of a particular band for more than two years, once you grow out of them, you’re going to realize how much money you’d spent that could’ve gone to a better place. i just realized this still applies to me cos of slbp shut up

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated: 

it’s more of a person, actually; Cody Ko! i find his YouTube videos extremely funny, plus he’s cute lol

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose?: 

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday?: 

get into medical school and get my license, despite our financial stance. i always thought being a doctor or a lawyer was boring, but now being a doctor has a certain appeal to me. i’d love to help people through their sicknesses and help them feel and be better.

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?: 

i almost always speak my mind, and generally push aside any hesitance if it’s ‘controversial’, except of course if i don’t know much about what the issue is. i only choose to stay quiet when i know my opinion isn’t going to get through to whoever it is i’m talking to.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?: 

the grunge, all black hype of 2014 kjfjkdkjfdkjdfs i still cringe

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?: 

my answer @ #26 )))): 

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?: 

being able to still be yourself or stand up for your morals despite getting shit on for it, definitely.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.): 

it’s usually either clothes or money, which i am 10/10 grateful for every time 

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones?: 

i speak two, mainly; english and my native language!

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside?: 

big city, no hesitation.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving?: 

kpop tbh. i used to be a lowkey hater when i was in elementary (but would jam out to them when i was alone), but loOK AT ME NOW

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?: 

i’m alright with either, but prefer being at the back making things work for whoever’s on stage.

34. Favorite holiday?: 

my birthday duh

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously?: 

i like going with the flow, but would feel much more comfortable if there were some constants in the said flow.

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.): 

37. What hobbies do you have?: 

i LOVE reading and learning more about astrology. i’ve gotten into tarot recently because of it!

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have?: 

being able to shoot trash in the bin with 100% precision every time. imagine throwing your waste five meters away from where the bin is? less walk time, amazing

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you: 

“she’s not a bitch after all...” sike i am 

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out: 

pretending to be someone you aren’t only hurts you in the end.

41. Worst injury you’ve had? 

i don’t know if this counts, but i swallowed a fish bone when i was in elementary and almost had to go into surgery to get it out of my throat lol

42. Any morbid fascinations?: 

i am and always will be in love with crime shows like Criminal Minds or CSI. 

43. Describe your sense of humor: 

honestly i laugh at almost anything. i can find something to laugh at during someone’s funeral 💀

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose?: 

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at:

F O C U S I N G❗️❗️❗️❗️ i always have at least three things on my mind at all times it’s exhausting 

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through: 

i was able to get out of an abusive relationship late last year and i am extremely grateful it happened. i’m still hesitant to continue contact with the other party, but we’re getting there.

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.): 

i’d have freckles around my nose and cheek area as the really pretty tattoo on my face, so joke’s on you!!!!!!!!

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?: 

optimist, for sure. i can always see the bright side of things.

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you?: 

“you really put your all into this and did a great job, you deserve this!”

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you: 

i think it’s more of some people underestimate how smart i am, and it doesn’t bother me at all lol think me dumb all u want let’s see who’ll be laughing when i get ur ass beat

tagging @kanashi-konpyuta @hajeema @wrapmons @yoosungshoodie @dirties @regretful-otome @atroniascreamsube ~

[cripplinganxietyflix]

I saw Valerian.

If you’ve ever spoken to me at length about movies, there’s a good chance my thoughts on “headache cinema” have come up. It’s an umbrella term I’ve come up with that encompasses the deluge of loud, obnoxious, brainless, neutered, hundred-million-dollar-budgeted trashfests that are destroying theater culture as we know it. I’m talking about the Disney’s Marvel franchises, the post-Matrix Wachowski migraines, the Transformers films- head-exploding visual fuckfests that leave the average adult feeling like they’ve crawled out some hellscape version of a McDonald’s play palace birthday party. This brand of film is easily my least enjoyed and most disliked. The vast majority of the time these movies are castrated down to a PG-13- or worse, a PG!, they’ve got bloated budgets, dumb plotlines, stupid dialog, and best of all: punching, loud noises, explosions, TOTAL SENSORY OVERLOAD. 

For many years I have hated superhero movies and glazed over at Hollywood’s air-horn retreads of movies like Clash of the Titans and Independence Day: Resurgence and the recent Ghost in the Shell mishap. I hate movies like this and I find them at least majorly to blame for the death of the hard R-rated action flick. There are exceptions to the formula, like Mad Max: Fury Road, the 2014 Godzilla, and Dredd, but generally speaking, they’re unwatchable. I will be the first to admit that I’m not a big fan of whimsy, but I will be happy to defend my position on this. Giant blockbuster action movies are generally dumb and boring if you’ve got more than two brain cells to rub together. I do try to balance my feelings about people who like brain-dead, ham-fisted, infantile PG-13 sci-fi action movies with my penchant for unrepentantly trashy, low-brow 70s and 80s exploitation horror films. I know for a fact that there’s a certain segment of cinema elitists who would see my interest in that subgenre as an undeniable sign of being a philistine troglodyte, which slightly tempers my extreme prejudicial judgment of those who love headache cinema. 

I can pick up the hanging thread to unravel this tapestry. It’ll lead you through all of the recent loud crashing DC fiascos and the rainbow of annoying apocalypse and disaster films and CG shitshows. Once you hit the Star Wars prequels, you’re getting close. But the film that started all of this hatred is Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element, easily in my top five most despised films of all time (that’s a list for another day!). 

It feels a little bizarre for me to say that I hate Luc Besson. Léon: The Professional is one of my favorite films of all time, and easily my favorite film of 1994. But aside from that and 1990′s La Femme Nikita, I find Besson wholly intolerable. His movies tend toward obnxious, incomprehensible, overwhelming, anxiety-inducing horse shit. And while many people are happy to agree with me, it seems no one outside of myself is willing to slaughter the sacred cow that is The Fifth Element. Some see a sci-fi fantasy classic, I proffer that it’s a grotesque panacea of ADHD, loud noises and cringey acting. To Besson’s credit, most of the time his films don’t take themselves seriously, and that’s fine. But The Fifth Element is the first film in my memory where I felt literally assaulted and invaded by the unfettered gaudy head-spinning madness of big, loud, overwhelming movies. My level of general calmness could be compared to a that of a frightened rabbit with combat shock, so I try to be cognizant that this dislike has less to do with objective quality and more to do with my personal preferences and tolerance levels. Let’s be real- I’m a person with severe, crippling anxiety. Headache cinema is not made for me. 

That being said, I saw the trailers for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, and I immediately started getting Vietnam flashbacks of Chris Tucker in a wig and leopard print jumping out of my television and screaming into my face. My significant other has a much more relaxed attitude toward these things and a seemingly endless well of patience for Luc Besson, so I had a feeling I was going to end up seeing this film in theaters and I started mentally preparing for it. And I’m really glad that I did all that emotional gestation, because I found Valerian to be surprisingly tolerable, aside from being a chaotic discombobulation of ideas that all generally have the potential to be good but fail because Luc Besson must have the attention span of a squirrel. And squirrels plant trees because they literally can’t remember where they’ve left their nuts. I couldn’t dream of a better summation of why Luc Besson turns nearly everything he touches into abject shit.

Valerian is essentially a very straight-forward narrative about a couple of federal agents (?) in space (???) who uncover a conspiracy involving a group of displaced aliens. They spend the film unraveling a mystery surrounding an enigmatic void in the middle of a space ship (?) or man-made planet (???) that contains thousands of different species from throughout the universe that live in surprising harmony. The alien refugees and the void on the ship or planet are related, you will later find. 

That’s basically it. It’s a simple storyline with simple elements like “war is bad” and “the powerful oppress the powerless” and “love is universal and always wins.” If you dig down past all of the color and noise and distraction, that’s the basic bedrock. I think I was expecting this movie to be a convoluted mess, and to a great extent it absolutely was. But I wouldn’t say that the story was the weakest part of the film. 

What did some substantial damage was the acting and dialog. The two leads had no chemistry and the actor playing the title character (Dane DeHaan) had a stunning drought of charisma. I think that his opposite, Cara Delevingne, has the potential to be a fun leading lady, but she never had a chance in this movie. The love angle was hackneyed and totally unnecessary to the point that the film would have fared much better if Valerian and Laureline were friends instead of a ~~will they or won’t they???~~ couple. I thought it was insulting to my sensibilities, and that sucks since the romance thing was such an ingrained aspect of the movie. I couldn’t tell if they were even in a relationship with each other or if Valerian had puppy love and Laureline has simply spent their entire careers fighting off his advances only to reluctantly agree to marry him after the film’s climax. This film could have really used a competent screen writer. I think I even could have lived with some of the eye-rollingly dumb but baseline-acceptable dialog you hear in Disney’s© Marvel™ Avengers Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. The villain (played by Clive Owen) was such a stupid caricature of literally everything that is wrong with Bad Guys in major American cinema- instantly hate-able, predictable, no angle or point of sympathy, stupid rationale for his actions-type of shit. And what’s really frustrating is that the Owen’s villain had a completely rational and utilitarian motive for his actions. But that gets torpedoed by the giant flashing neon signs that say “HE’S THE BAD GUY” and “EVIL PIECE OF SHIT” hanging over his head in every scene he’s featured in. It absolutely felt like the characters were totally empty and needed to be reworked from the ground up. I even thought Rihanna’s character had more depth than either Valerian or Laureline. Valerian’s a by-the-books soldier with a heart of gold? Could have fooled me! Laureline’s a toughgirl with a penchant for violent overreaction but still maintains a balanced moral compass? Hard to see through the horse shit nonsense they wrote for her. Character development and the script were both a total, unmitigated disaster.  

Another thing that I think the film failed at was building tension. Everything felt a little too whimsical and inconsequential. In the beginning, a bus full of mercenaries (?) is attacked by a violent hexapedal alien and Valerian and Laureline watch all of them die savagely with nothing more than a smirking “glad we made it outta that scrape!” reaction. It never really feels like they’re in any danger or that there’s any emotional peak or valley for the characters, with maybe a single, small exception. You watch a lot of people get shot to death and even a head get blown clean off and another cut right in half, but it all seems so cartoonish and trivial that you can’t help but feel like nothing really matters and it’s all just a low-stakes video game. 

But I don’t want to give you the impression that this movie is a complete trainwreck (it tries, believe me). There were things that I liked and appreciated. The visuals and alien designs were inventive and there was never really a moment where you couldn’t get lost in the scene. It kind of felt like Rick and Morty without the nihilism and good writing. Everything was very colorful, the universe felt very inhabited. Around halfway through, Valerian and Laureline have an almost brilliant run in with a species of giant food-obsessed frogs (I actually went through the trouble of looking it up; they’re called Boulan-Bathors) and I found the whole scenario to be kind of charming and cute. I didn’t really mind Rihanna’s cameo. The refugee aliens, the Pearls, were cool and appealing in the same translucent way as the Engineers of Prometheus. While I definitely felt some Avatar vibes, the whole opalescent, iridescent aesthetic was visually pleasing and I really liked the semi-androgynous thing they had going on. 

I think the strongest part of this film is the first several minutes that lays out Earth’s journey into space. It was beautiful and touching and enough to make you feel really depressed about the state of our space exploration programs and the hopelessness and polarization of our world affairs. I would liked to have seen more of a thematic connection to the introduction because it felt extremely dissonant with the rest of the movie, which, by comparison, is hard to feel particularly emotional about. If you’re not planning on seeing Valerian, I would at least recommend watching the first few minutes. If the movie had come full circle to it, you can see how it could have been brilliant. 

Overall, Valerian is kind of a giant mess, and by all means I should have absolutely hated it, because it is textbook headache cinema. I think that there was a wide dearth of missed opportunities with the material, and with a more competent screenwriter, a better cast, and maybe someone else in the director’s seat, we’d be talking about a viable start to a franchise. But too often Valerian ties its own shoelaces together and eats shit and expects us to be engrossed and entertained. The relationship between Valerian and Laureline- both as a friendship, coworkership and romance- either needed to be reengineered from the ground up or scrapped entirely. I think Dane DeHaan was totally wrong for the part of Valerian and I could see this movie succeeding in more ways had someone with more charisma been the leading man. Valerian desperately needed some tension, and the total absence of crisis or consequence left an unbridgeable emotional void. It’s beautiful- but it’s a mess, and that seems to be Luc Besson’s calling card. I doubt we’ll ever see another Léon, but if Besson’s next film is as much of an improvement on Valerian as Valerian was on Lucy, then we might have the potential to see something really special. And maybe in five to eight years when everyone has forgotten about this spectacle, we’ll get a decent reboot for the Valerian material. 

★ ★ ½

[lookingformaariyah]

Growing up, the concept of a mental illness was always either romanticized, criticized, or both. You’re given the idea that a mental illness is beautifully flawed and easily lost when handled a particular way. Take movies like Silver Linings Playbook, Wrist Cutters: A Love Story, It’s Kind Of A Funny Story, The Art Of Getting By, and According To Greta. All of these books/movies have the misconception that mental illnesses are cute and funny and that there’s always going to be a set of people that’ll guide you through every aspect of it, but that’s rarely the case. Sometimes people don’t know they suffer from a mental illness, and sometimes the ones who do know aren’t able to seek the right kind of treatment, either due to guardian issues, misconceptions, self-diagnosis, or high treatment costs.

Mental illness refers to a wide range of mental health conditions. Many people have mental health concerns from time to time. However, a mental health concern becomes a mental illness when ongoing signs and symptoms cause frequent stress and affect your ability to function daily. A mental illness can make you miserable and can cause problems in your daily life, such as at school or work or in relationships.

        Depression is a common mental illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think, and how you act. It is very much real and quite an overpowering factor in your daily life. When a person has depression, it interferes with their daily life and normal functioning. Depression is not a sign of weakness nor is it a character flaw. You can’t “snap out of” clinical depression. Most people who experience depression need treatment to get better. Bottling it up can do more bad than good in the long run.

“Well, I suffered from pretty severe depression for many, many years. I kept my mouth shut about it for about 12 years. When I finally said something, my parents send me to therapy. My parents quickly stopped walking on eggshells around me and went back to treating me like they always did so I had to do what I thought was best for me in terms of finally getting over this crippling disorder. I’m not 100% cured and I still have episodes of it but my mental health is far improved compared to what it used to be and for that I’m grateful. But I know I did all of it on my own. My parents paid for things but they never understood. They cared but they didn’t really help. Most of the time you have to be there for yourself. My therapist was nice but he was almost too supportive. I didn’t want support. I wanted to be fixed. ” – Sri Lanka

  “I suffer from major anxiety and sometimes I fall into depression where i feel neglected and i just wanna isolate myself so i find ways to self-harm or anything that can take my life away. well my anxiety, yes my family is very much aware of it but as far as for depression, since i isolate myself, i don’t feel the need to talk about it. my parents think it’s a common thing and they do not wish to go on further checking because to them, i seem okay but i know for sure that i actually do need help.”- India

In reality, everyone wants to feel like they matter. Like they’re being heard but we often go through personal struggles that divide us in the way we see life and the way we see ourselves and the outcome isn’t often positive. In reality, it’s a much harsher outlook purely because a mental illness is something you have to face alone. Regardless of people being there to support you or not, the changes you go through are internal. Help can be given but not all of it is helpful and sometimes all you really want is the space to figure it out yourself and work through your demons.

There is, however, a difference between giving an individual the space he/she needs and completely shutting down the idea that he/she HAS a mental illness. Friends/lovers or people that are exposed to you on a more intimate level may be able to understand your illness better because they feel the withdrawal. This is not an easy change to undergo because no one wants their mental illness to be the reason they’re treated differently. However, exposure is good; having a purpose besides the confines of your room/ work space is always best because it helps take your mind of your struggles. Even if it is for a brief period of time, that 10-minute window could make a large difference in your life.

“I do not officially suffer from a mental illness nor knows anyone that does, unless you consider a mild case of OCD and sometimes anxiety (which I’m getting through slowly!!). For a long time (well till a few months ago) I couldn’t take phone calls to people that I didn’t know personally without panicking and feeling anxious and order food over the counter or anything that involved one-on-one interaction with people that I had no prior relation with, and I really wanted to overcome it so I did speak to my parents about it and they told me that when we go out, bit by bit I’d be the one ordering food and getting directions and all, and through that I got over it. I don’t really physically show fear or my anxiousness but inside my head I’d constantly be thinking about how I’d flop and how the person would judge me for it and it’d stop me from doing a lot of things, but it’s getting much better and easier to do things.” – Anon

  “I am transgender, which causes me to have severe gender dysphoria and anxiety. That means that I have a very negative emotional reaction to my own body. It has made me try and lose a lot of weight as quickly as possible and self-harm. The self-harming can go from cutting to just scratching my arm bloody. I have come out to my mom but not my father. My mother has been supportive so far, and helped me go see a psychologist which helped me a little, however because I am still nowhere near transitioning or living life openly as myself, the cause for the dysphoria and anxiety is still very present, and I expect it will continue to stay with me even after my transition.”- Germany

Self-harm, firstly is something you should never put your mind or body through. There is no questioning or doubting that what you might/are going through is terrible but if you were (and you will) get out of that void, your scars might result in a relapse or reoccurrences of those bitter memories. Reliving the trauma is the last thing you need. You’ve worn your emotion in every possible style. Don’t hurt yourself any further.

“There were times were this person I knew would be confused over depression and sadness. Surely at the back of their head they both meant the same but there had to be a line that would differentiate the two. Unlike sadness, depression was painful and would suck the life out of you even at your happiest moments. That’s when she knew she was a depressed child. She wouldn’t call it the most severe case of depression but without a doubt, it comes under the category of depression. She has not approached her family regarding this because of the mere fact that she felt like she wouldn’t get that understanding. For a fact she knew they would support her and get me all the help she needs but that emotional connection that she needs she wouldn’t be able to receive it. She refrained herself from doing so because by the end of it, she didn’t want relationships with them to be any different and not just that she feels like she can deal with it herself and not require help which could be her being reluctant or afraid of seeking help but she’s okay.” – Anon

  “I know many people in my family with mental disorders and everyone dismisses them; they’re either not close enough to God or have gone mad. Most African elders see mental illness as something only westerners suffer with.” – Africa

Support is undoubtedly an extremely important factor and no support can do the just a family’s can. Having the support or understanding of a support system at the very least can go a long way. Sometimes families find it hard to accept your mental illness because it’s hard for them to consider it and not blame themselves or their actions for your current state.  Regardless, not having a support system can just aggravate your state of mind. If making your friends/family understands your mental illness is hard, consult a doctor. This is often easier said than done but it’s extremely important you address your mental illness. Like a broken knee or a high fever, living with your mental illness and not seeking attention can do a whole lot of bad because if you let it go on for two long, you won’t be the same person you were before the fall.

“You’re yelling at me, telling me I am not the child you expected while I am already wallowing in self-hate.” – Anon

  “So I do believe that I have OCD…and I actually do…most of it is very petty stuff but some of it makes me a bit scared like I cannot listen to my car stereo music in odd numbers. If I do I will crash and die. Well u get used to things like that; not so difficult just gotta adjust the volume. My family doesn’t really know this or even understand it. I once knew her a girl who was suffering from schizophrenia. It was intense. Her family knew and sort of didn’t give a shit about it. She used to imagine of being attached by random strangers and all that. Me and her we had this major attraction and really liked each other.” – UAE

It’s hard to talk about it. It’s even harder to put it down in an article but it needs to be said. It needs to be addressed and if no one wants to address it then it’s up to you to schedule an appointment with a doctor. It’s terrible to have to feel so alone in this and it must down right suck right now to feel unsupported through your times of need but it will make you a stronger person. Seek help online from reputed sites like 7 cups of tea if you’re not ready to talk to a person face-to-face or if you feel like you’re financially unable to seek appropriate therapy. You are one step closer to winning the battle against your mental illness by seeking help.

Opening Up About Mental Illnesses Growing up, the concept of a mental illness was always either romanticized, criticized, or both. You’re given the idea that a mental illness is beautifully flawed and easily lost when handled a particular way.

[twocatskissing]

Random questions 1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? lick lick lick lick (i like) 2. What is home to you? where ever i feel comfortable. so..not necessarily my house all of the time, it depends who i am with. 3. What was the last lie you told? i ...dont know. i just went thru my texts and i can't recall. but i've lied several times today probably without knowing. 4. Does everyone deserve the truth? no. u dont deserve my ass honey! 5.What is the creepiest toy ever made? i'll think about it 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. talk shit get hit 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) literally anything work related. i hate explaining to people, i just want to do it myself, it's so much more easier. but this question is making my head hurt so i'm moving on. 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? i worked REALLY Hard on print edition II 9. How many all nighters have you pulled? probably one? two? i'm not good at them 10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? hugs. 11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? maybe...three? 12. What is your paradise? honestly where ever you are 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) RAIN NOISES. UGH. I LOVE THEM. I WOULD DIE FOR THEM. 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? one, not including myself 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? communicating. i think it says i suck at communicating in person. 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? i care about celebrities because i aspire to be like them, and i enjoy learning about other's successes 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? i dont know how to answer this. anyone doing anything for me makes me so happy 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? i do this a lot, i get it from my mom. i think it just makes me sound annoying. 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? no i'm a potato 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? i used to take them a lot but one week during 9th grade my self esteem plummeted and now i hate taking them. i think i am so ugly and unattractive. 21. List 3 things you like about yourself? i'm kinda emo rn so i cant think of anything 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? don't make mountains out of mole hills 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? HELL NO. i cant even take care of my damn self. even my pee is telling me my body is in serious danger. 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? i talk to sierra, practice a makeup look, or go to sleep really early 25. When was the last time you felt awkward? when i went out to starbucks earlier tonight i was in this really weird state where i felt really weak and off, i felt kinda awkward and bad 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? im super introverted but i always like having one person with me, i don't like being completely isolated, but i hate having multiple people around me. 27. What constitutes a good friend? having conversations that never dry out, being there for you right on the spot, good hugs 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? i would want just one best friend, but i've come to realize that people i'll get super close with get really annoyed with me easily and that's not what i want 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? that hetero shit. 30. What is your dream job? journalist at refinery 29 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? hardworking because from there you can build your skills 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? IM A VIRGIN 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? why he so ugly. 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? what does this even mean 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. i don't want to hate them again 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? hope they aren't suicidal like i am 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? girl i'd sell that shit. need that college money. 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? speech, bc u need speech to speech 39. Name the last book you read. animal farm 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? BROOO i would say i would love this, but i would never be able to be with someone if i'm like that. no homo. 41. When was the last time you made the first move? ...Never 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? it's ok :/. nothing is worse than country music, tho. 43. What was the last movie you watched? hidden figures 44. Do you like and appreciate your life? no 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? No. 46. When was the last time you cried? on saturday 47. What are you scared of? rejection and thunder storms 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? no let's not get into that tonight 49. What are some of your hobbies? makeup, editing stories 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? overthink and over analyze 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? i would say i'm a decent friend. i'm extremely loyal and supportive, but at the same time i will shut u out if i'm sad and be really clingy. 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? no. same ol' mistakes - rihanna 53. What have you learned the hard way? she wasn't shit 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? friendship 55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) i write a fuckton l56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? logical 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? get a job 58. What is your ideal meal? sushi 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? tell me they're a republican 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? DOGGIES 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? discrimination against transgender citizens/denying access to preferred bathrooms 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? i really like the kardashians 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? the kardashians 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? i like playing overwatch when i'm at my dad's house but i rarely come over there 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? do what ya want hoe 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? i usually wake up at around 7:30 on a weekend but you won't find me walking around because i'll stay in bed until 10 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? i love ratatouille, but my favorite disney character will be tiana from princess and the frog because i love her. 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? in the city. i want to live on a skyscraper. 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? near the ocean because beach towns are so cute. 70. What are the best things about winter? how it's not 1000387377227° 71. What scares you most about the future? rejection from colleges, and any relationships i attempt to peruse. 72. What makes you feel old? ratatouille came out ten years ago 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? 24 74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? i don't make those they're annoying 75. What is your life story in 6 words? really really really really emo 76. Describe yourself in one word. ugly 77. What bad habits do you do? um it should say *do you have, but i guess i tend to put myself down a lot whenever someone compliments me. and if i'm having a bad day and someone says something mean that's suppose to be a joke, i start crying. 78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything except country 79. Most prominent childhood memory? my dad's last day before he moved out 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? no thanks 81. Spirit animal? sloth 82. Do you believe in horoscopes? sort of? i didnt until i realized i hate capricorns 83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? just stop being sad 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. that's hard i have a lot of people i care about so imma add one more -dana -sierra -sarahi -chloe 85. Favorite memory of your family. hmm not really 86. What do you look for in a relationship? someone who likes me back, loyalty 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? i don't pay attention enough to look up to someone 88. What is your opinion on social media? i love it 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? both, it depends on the environment 90. List some things that you think are overpriced? M👏🏼A👏🏼K👏🏼E👏🏼U👏🏼P 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? well earlier today when i was closing this people stood out the door waiting for me to come out it was really weird 92. What superpower would ruin the world? being able to read minds 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? date girls hdhshshns 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? girl i am too tired for this 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? i would go back to costa rica ❤ 96. How do you approach people? i dont. 97. What is your opinion on first impressions? what does this even mean 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? dance the cha cha slide. i'm too embarrassed to do it now. 99. What languages can you speak? english and most spanish 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? i feel like it'll be a lot more progressive. my 101. What do you do on your lazy days? i just lie in bed 102. What ended your last relationship? well as for my last real relationship it ended because i was really sad and so were they 103. Favorite food? sushi or chiles rellanos or hot wings 104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? most of my dreams are terrifying in that i either get rejected or people leave. what's new? lol. 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? like two weeks ago i read a text and i got seriously angry and had a suicidal episode 106. What was the last friendship you broke? i dont....know... 107. Do you have any pet peeves? i hate hearing people chew, or people talking over me 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? no one gives me hugs. 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? like this morning jdhsbsbsb 110. What part of your personality do you want to change? all of it. i want to be a cold distant bitch who is likable. i also want to get rid of my depression 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? everyone stay negative 112. What is your biggest motivation? this question is grammatically confusing 113. What did you want to be when you were little? a vet or a singer 114. What are some things that you are good at? im pretty good at my job, and doing reading/writing stuff 115. What is one thing you want to be good at? math 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? my phone definitely 117. How important is privacy to you? very. i hate nosy people. 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? don't be nosy kiddos! 119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? i'm straight 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? i don't go to parties, but when i do i do not talk about myself, or talk at all 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? ummmm i don't know how to answer this 122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? i will spend all of my money on people or things to impress others, it's ridiculous. i'll pay for dinner if i'm trying to impress a friend, or just waste my money. 123. What is your morning routine? spray myself in rose water. get dressed. Maybe MAYBE do some makeup 124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? taking photos with sierra 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? help i believe. i'm not doing anything shitty rn 126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" i will honestly drop you so quick if you do that to me and i find out. i have no tolerance for that shit, i will not fall for it, and i will leave your ass. 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? pros: sends the message, makes things quicker cons: getting offended, no fun 128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? BROOO DONT SVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS SHIF WHERE DO I EVEN FUCKING START OHHHH NY GOODDDHDHDHSHS BITCHDHDHSHSBS IM SGEJSNSBSANSBSBBVSSBA 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? both, but mostly zoned. 130. What do you admire most about your friends? their intelligence. i'm so jealous of them, but i admire it. 131. What do you admire most about your family? their strong work ethic 132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" it's so hard to do, no gracias. i need structure 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? listening 134. When is it time to end a friendship? when it's causing deep painful and emotional harm to you, it's abusive in a sense 135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? "i'm just stressed out" 136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? delta, so i could study hospitality and tourism dhshhsejsh 137. What are your favorite baby names? babies are gross 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? when i went to the park with dana on monday 139. What instantly ruins a conversation? dry ass responses 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. turn on's: buying me tonight's, hugs, touching, eye contact, laughing turn offs: distance, being ignored 141. Biggest disappointment. rejection by ******* 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? when i talked to wheatsville 144. Prized possession(s)? my costa rica ticket, my makeup collection 145. What is your opinion on second chances? it depends on what they did to fuck up 146. Text or call? text 147. What do you like about the 21st century? my phone 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? don't date until ur mentally stable 149. How organized are you? ask sierra 150. Favorite mode of transportation. car