#they just win social points by doing so
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one of my least favorite trends is when people bring pride flags to concerts with the expectation of not only getting special attention, but that the artist will parade the flag on stage. why does everything have to be about sexuality and gender? can you not live for one moment without seeking validation? can you not enjoy anything that’s not explicitly about you?
#also just because they hold your special little flag up doesn’t mean they actually care about you#they just win social points by doing so#this isn’t about any artist in particular#it’s been happening for a good portion of musicians i like#and if they don’t hold the flag up they’re villainized
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DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
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Not even the first time he's done that either loll, hes lucky it still works,, the initial shatter wasnt /really/ technically out of anger, though :-3
#He is undoubtedly attached to it uh and maybe not in the best way but yknow what he gets wins where he can#using your tags to point that out again not sorrrryyy#im just saying that to say it dont mind me#DRILLING it into your brains#so unbelievably socially starved and attention starved pleeeaassseee#he spends most of his time now waiting. (blinks at you)#he came there to do things and youre distracting him (as if he didnt drag it with him)#hhggefhjgrrrghh
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Once again, I am back on my bullshit.
Welcome to my "Angel is asexual because Michael Kovach is ace and also i say so" and "Val is actually aromantic but just thinks his inability to feel love is cuz he's a psycho and not that he just has a queer identity" corner. There's no one else here but me
#and the vees are t4t4t#is this anything#al: *monologs about how being ace in the 30s was very difficult and gave him a lot of long lasting trauma*#al: the point being that im not attracted to people but i can under very specific circumstances be attracted to aesthetics(usually blood)#angel: well yea thats just how that works ur not abnormal#al: what#angel: no one actually wants to do it with a specific person lol thats why u do scenes and have toys and all that extra stuff#al: angel no#alastor and all his many wives is very important to me#thats the dream all men have right?? a bunch of girls surrounding u??? and he likes them so he must 'want' to 'keep' them#yes charlie is one of his girlfriends#val's type is fridget and generally disinterest in him#val thinks all social interacts are games that he has to win#which is why he has vox and angie#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel angel dust#radiodust#valastor#alastor x valentino#asexual#queer#memes#my memes#proship
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honestly Adaine is so good at clarifying/directing Ayda socially that it begins to circle back to a dynamic of like, Ayda saying "i don't know or understand these rules" and Adaine responding "have no fear, I've been carefully studying and manually interfacing with these for years, I will explain:" in a way that to me is so autism4autism
#N posts stuff#like Ayda feels like someone who has spent most of her life alone / with adults and so lacks any context at all for socializing with Peers#she's good at Information (bc she's a librarian) and communicating Facts (bc likely most of her socializing has been helping#with research in one way or another on Leviathan) BUT she struggles a lot more with like#friendly gossip and flirting and boundaries <- because she's never interfaced much with people her own age so it's like being lost at sea#BUT Adaine to me at a certain point Stops reading to me as 'Neurotypical who intuits the rules and is just good at explaining them'#and becomes 'autistic with a special interest in social rules/dynamics' and it's less 'i grew up speaking this language natively'#and WAY MORE 'i've been studying this language intentionally for many years so I can help clarify and give you advice'#and i Love That for them I love when they're talking in Hellbound and Adaine is like 'oh lovely! do you have notes on this social phenom?'#because she's 100% canonically the autistic person who is taking notes on social cues (outright in Daddies&Demons) and is like#'Excellent. Surely with these I am going to get a good grade in Social Conversation.'#Autism win! You and the Librarian on a pirate ship have become Best Friends who think each other are SO cool and lovely and kind <3#d20lb#fhsy#d20: bad kids
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Warning- this is a very petty post, but I think I'm entitled to at least one petty, pissed-off reaction every time I finish a classic novel that hit harder than I expected so take this as my quota for the year.
Also spoiler warning for a book that came out over a century ago but still, I didn't know the plot going in so don't want to ruin it for anyone else, if you haven't read it shut your eyes. (Also Local Tumblr User Going Wild Over Book Published a Hundred Years Ago That Everybody Else Already Read should probably be categorised as akey part of indigenous tumblr culture at this point).
Anyway I just finished the War of the Worlds and in between studying I've thinking about Themes and Motifs as you do, and idly looking for further analysis. I then accidentally ran into an article called 'A Quiet Place II Succeeds Where the War of the Worlds Failed' and:
Now I haven't seen any of the Quiet Place films, this is not a rant against them and of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But re: the ending of The War of the Worlds, I have to ask, did this guy somehow miss, uh, the entire point of the book or am I just utterly insane?
#You're right it's not very satisfying for humanity that the invaders are foiled by a bacteria and not human action! Maybe that's the point!#Maybe it's supposed to be FRIGHTENING and make you ask questions about what humans will do under extreme stress#Not be a morally uplifting tale about Humanity Heroically Defeating the Martians in a Glorious Hollywood Ending#Maybe it's MEANT to be unsatisfying because this is not a straightforward fairytale#I mean I've only read it once and don't know much about Wells' work so I might have misunderstood the point of the book too#But at places it is a very pessimistic view of the human condition and that's partly WHY IT'S SO POWERFUL#That doesn't mean there aren't moments of individual acts of heroism (the Thunderchild for example)#But the question is not just 'how will humanity beat the Martians and prove that we're still the masters of the universe'#Rather 'a) why is humanity so confident that it's ultimately in control of its own destiny#And b) here's lots of scenes of societal collapse and of people pushed to the brink and what would YOU do in those circumstances?#Would YOU feel remorse about silencing the curate even if it did lead to his death?#What if it rather than a foolish adult it had been a small child?#And even if they were weak did they DESERVE it? Yes it might have been necessary but should it be policy going forward?#Would you also be attracted briefly by the certainties that the artilleryman's (rather fascist) plan seems to offer so humanity survives?#But what sort of humanity would that be if it DID survive and is it worth it? The narrator feels he needs to justify the curate's death#The artilleryman would have probably never have thought it was anything OTHER than justifiable or indeed laudable#Under strain and stress would you start to turn against even your loved ones and become brutal?#Is that the only hope for human survival beyond complete surrender? And was the destruction of London maybe even 'cleansing'#In the eugenics sense or in the sense of a natural horror of dirt and germs?#And the vast exodus of six million people fleeing headlong in panic - we might not have seen that exact phenomenon#But didn't the twentieth century subsequently go on to show us unprecedented scale of slaughter and refugee movements and communal strife?#At the end of the day what really separates humanity from other animals? And what separates us from the Martians?#It's not an uncontroversial book- it was written over a hundred years ago for goodness sake and there are questions worth asking#about the way imperialism and arguments about eugenics and population control and all sorts of other dodgy areas operated on Wells' mind#But dear God I really don't think the problem with the book is that 'Humanity didn't save the day!'#Unsatisfying ending? Yes. A FAILURE? No not in my opinion- looks like it was exactly what Wells set out to do#Humanity didn't win the war of the worlds they had a narrow escape and though it might not be martians next time#Why wouldn't disaster return in the future? Sure we've studied their flying machines and even preserved a martian in a jar#But for all our science what have we ACTUALLY learned that will enable us to avert future human catastrophes? Ethically or socially?#Alright rant over- as usual my opinion is not universal nor necessarily well-informed this take just really got my goat
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Pretty much all of my advice from years of tutoring, working with foster kids, and helping raise half a dozen toddlers is two questions and an answer:
1) Is there a developmental or medical reason the kid is doing [behavior], or is it a control thing?
2) If it is a control thing, what will I gain from tackling it head on that I wouldn't gain from alternate solutions or by giving up entirely?
And the answer is almost ALWAYS "No one wins when you initiate combat with a toddler, because you're an adult with a million responsibilities, and that kid ain't got nothing else to do. You might get what you wanted, but you'll both still lose"
#messages from knave#watched a video about kids on planes and the comments were garbage because the mom MENTIONED#NOT EVEN THE POINT OF THE VIDEO#that her kid was going through a picky eater phase#and yeah sometimes it is just a phase and its not medical or sensory but like. who cares#yeah some kids come out of potty training with control issues but who wins if you spend two hours arguing with a 4 year old?#no one#but the adult always loses#and what would the kid gain sitting there being more stubborn than you? because they're not gonna remember anything about food#they're gonna remember how frustrated they were and how good it felt to stick it tk your ass#kids don't know how much food costs or about the food pyramid or that your mil is judging you because they didn't#touch her broccoli brussel sprout casserole or w/e#but they DO know when you're being a dick to them and lack the social experience to not take that shit personally#so do you wanna get into a grudge match with a toddler or do you wanna watch a soap opera and put them to bed at 8pm?
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Fandom's weaponising of "-coded" to mean "my interpretation (headcanon) is factual and correct and anyone who disagrees with it is [something]ist" is deeply annoying and also... yeah it probably is a bit problematic that we've so muddied the waters on what is and isn't intentional in media works and on whether an interpretation is automatically correct because it appears to tick whatever boxes are currently popular.
#“coding” is a verb which as you know from school is a Doing Word and so coding has to be Done by someone#what you mean in most cases is “this characters comes across as” or “this character can be interpreted as”#coding also *usually* happens when openly making a character a thing is impossible for some reason (social stigma for instance)#i am *convinced* that Default Hawkeye is bisexual but i've never seen anything to suggest he's “supposed to be” you know?#and i feel like by now someone involved would have said if he was#you know?#all this is even leaving aside that “word of god” can be a very tricky topic with a collaborative medium like television#if a writer says something about a character but the actor and director disagree then who's right? etc#literally saw a tumblerite attempt to win an argument with “but Loki is PoC-coded” believing most marginalised = winner#and i just... look if a 21st century movie franchise “coded” that and hired a white actor to do so... is THAT not massively fucked up???#it's bollocks but if that WAS a thing i don't think it'd be the automatic win that you seem to have thought it would be u kno??#basically not everything SHOULD be coded at this point anyway
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ppl will just reblog posts w outright historical misinformation in them
#source: just trust me bro#text post#if a claim sounds strong and compelling you should still fact-check it#bc ppl will make very specific statements like 'oh this specific thing happened after this thing happened as a result of--' and#theyre getting the order of the timeline messed up#and no one is pointing that out. like. ok#i dont like to get my hands dirty on tumblr dot com so you know it wont be me doing that#it tends not to really do anything bc by the time it gets out there... it's already out there#there's already a mistruth on however many ppl's blogs. i've never seen someone directly comment misinfo on my dash#but ppl happily REBLOG it all the time.#and i get it like i get it we all wanna reblog stuff that affirms our world view#this is why i tend not to blog much about social/political issues very much anymore#bc this happens all the time when ppl try to make objective claims#or when they do cite sources the sources will often have their own problems and/or be misquoted#im very skeptical of information i find or see shared on here#which is not to say that my own personal politics are changed or even that theyre vastly different from ppl partaking in them on here#but. like. geez you know it feels like there's no way to win or participate in a useful discourse anymore#idk how to talk about serious issues online in 2024 and it's quite dispiriting honestly#there are no standards anywhere anymore.#everything moves too fast and we want easy satisfaction and that's a huge reason why misinformation is so effective#all across the political spectrum but especially on platforms where it's easy to form an echochamber
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That whole thing about 'British people love to queue' first of all, that's situational. Second of all, what does that even mean? Y'all don't file up?
#cultural differences#travel tag#situational because i just tried to get on my coach and despite the fact that coach is now evidently half full people be huddling#people who absolutely got there later than other people were shuffling around to get in the front#but obviously you gotta get through the door so the huddle still gotta thin to a file at some point#but we do queue for the bus only to then go 'after you' 'no after you' 'no no i insist' and theres no pushing or huddling in a shop queue#i just dont understand how it works elsewhere if you dont queue‚ what you all just fight to be given attention first?#whoever is least socially awkward wins? i dont get it what are you doing that makes our queueing so weird?
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do find it pretty silly when ppl on here attempt to be righteous and Woke about whatever team they’re rooting for… mate if you really were Woke you wouldn’t be watching at all
#like. fifa is corrupt + some of this shit was literally built using slave labour#+ pretty stupid to spend so much money and resources on a game of men chasing around a ball in the midst of a climate crisis#like i’m not judging anyone for watching bih i ended up watching too#but don’t try and present yourself as doing the morallly right thing just cos youre rooting for *insert x team here*#how would that even be activism lol. what does it accomplish and what does it matter who wins#literally you just root for your own team and whatever teams you find the most fun watching. it’s that simple#it’s just football no need to make performative posts on tumblr dot com to earn social justice points#esp when you do no real activism in your life#world cup 2022
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You ever just see posts that are so close to talking about something socially important and then they turn out to just be about a blorbo
#This is @ posts that are so close to making good points about social issues: classism sexism racism xenophobia but then it’s blorbo and OC#Like this is in tags because it’s not meant to be debated by people who will take everything in bad faith; I trust youse to keep it that wa#BUT like ‘ohh some people act like you’re asking them to move the earth when you want to talk about female characters’#My Friend can I just say female characters in fiction were far from my mind when I was hounding the school infrastructure#To for once (1 time) please give a shit about the girls basketball team please please Please#They disbanded us two weeks before September national competitions because they couldn’t find four more girls#And the coach was like fuck this; I’m focusing on the boys team bc they’re more likely to win (/have a team ready in two weeks)#AND HE JUST STOPPED ORGANISING PRACTICE FOR US#we tried to just get together and practise ourselves but like if your coach has given up on you that’ll do numbers on your motivation….#disbanded soon after#AND LIKE OF COURSE HE WAS A HE but also the women coaches would’ve hardly been better; everyone just GIVES UP ON US#so yeah I don’t care if your boy classmate feels like Jesus on the cross being spoken to about Catwoman#I WANT THE UNDER 15 GIRLS BASKETBALL TEAM TO BE A THING
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Can't vote for Biden and his vicious and cruel destruction of title ix. Really embarrassing that Dems have mainly left it to the right to try to defend it, and it's not like I can vote for them because they also hate women just in different ways. Shat on by the left, shat on by the right, women are in an awful situation
i'm posting this so we can all deconstruct what a far right psyop ask looks like.
on first read, this looks like someone who wishes they could be confident in voting blue but they're bummed by the democrats in office. targets title ix for their ire but doesn't really explain, perhaps assuming i'm out of touch and will just react instead of doing my due diligence (bad bet: i'm an attorney). uses over the top dramatic language like "vicious." they equate the left and right as being identical and indicates they won't be voting for either, with the implication that i shouldn't either, but goes on to blame the dems specifically for...something.
look at the very specific way they've couched this sentence:
Really embarrassing that Dems have mainly left it to the right to try to defend it,
i'm not meant to fight them on this. i'm meant to be embarrassed to be voting blue in november, i'm meant to blame democrats for abandoning some law, and i'm meant to recognize the right as upholding it.
title ix, if you didn't know, bans sex-based discrimination in schools and education. when someone tells you about democrats destroying title ix, that someone is a TERF.
and TERFs largely have aligned with the conservative hard right. I'll link a few articles at the bottom with detailed explainers, but for right here it's enough to say that TERFs want the far right to win because the far right is voting with them on their single issue, which is the destruction of trans rights and the ouster of trans and gnc women from public spaces. TERFs have marched with the Proud Boys. TERFs have partnered with anti-lgbtq groups to advance their anti-trans agenda. they will throw every other issue under the bus repeatedly if their anti-trans agenda wins.
and, importantly, the far right recognizes that TERFs are a tool they can use to destablize the left. the far right knows that as long as they will align with TERFs on this single issue, which they will because they too want to enforce the gender binary and traditional gender roles, TERFs will vote for and with them regardless of every single other issue. not only that, but the far right knows TERFs are a modern movement that's gained traction in social media spaces over the last several years, and they are relying on TERFs to send asks like this one to infiltrate spaces like tumblr and twitter and tiktok to encourage would-be blue voters not to vote because they want the far right to win.
this is a psyop. this is, whether formalized or not, a psychological operation intended to discourage voting in and among the left.
don't fall prey. vote blue in november.
I like this one because they have this great graph that specifically points out the link between TERFism, the far right, and disinformation attempts like the ask above.
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https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/743255237060689920/the-thing-that-confuses-me-about-the-dont-vote
The “don’t vote” left’s point is basically that, if Biden gets a second term, it’ll basically signal that “They’ll vote for us as long as we’re not Republicans, why don’t we do some REAL fucked up shit, if we can get away with it?” It takes the power out of the people’s hands and places it firmly in the party’s.
I can’t completely disagree with that, my caveat is that there’s no real alternative system or party in place, because top-down change is ineffective; a third party president has to contend with a two party congress.
Except no. This whole "Biden just wants to do as much fucked up shit as possible while not being a Republican, and if you give him a second term he'll do more fucked up shit deliberately to spite you" mindset is only possible as an interpretation if you a) deliberately and comprehensively ignore everything he has done to date, and b) you approach the situation with the maximum bad faith possible. Not to mention, the ultimate outcome of this Big Important Teaching Biden A Lesson is that Trump gets back into power and makes everything orders of magnitude worse, because he does in fact want to deliberately do evil shit to everyone and says so at every opportunity. There is not some magical happy alternative that springs into existence by not voting. If you choose this as a year to Teach Biden A Lesson, you are enabling Trump. Trump will be much, much worse. If you don't care about that, I still do not care what your Great Ideology is. You are not helping anyone and you are directly and irreversibly hurting everyone.
I made a post a few days ago wherein I mentioned that I want to assess Biden fairly, taking into account both strengths and weaknesses, but the rampant bad-faith, lying, misreading, misrepresentation, and open sabotage of him (especially by the online left; the GOP sometimes only wishes they were as good at turning Biden's voter pool against him) makes it really difficult to do that. My frustration with those people makes me just want to go "BIDEN IS GREAT THE END." I know he is a flawed old man (though by literally every account of a career spent in public service, he really does care about making the world a better place and any remotely good faith reading of his accomplishments thus far can see that). It is also very likely that he goes MORE left in a second term because he won't have to face the electorate again, he has always gone more left when pushed before, and he's not actually the scheming genocidal mastermind that leftist social media paints him as. Shocking, I know.
I know there are things in the world we don't like and don't want and want to stop, and therefore we blame our own president for not making it stop. But I have zero, no, none, absolutely none whatsoever sympathy for this pseudo-populist "WE NEED TO TEACH BIDEN A LESSON BY ELECTING TRUMP AGAIN, I AM VERY MORAL MUCH ACTIVIST" mindset. There's this funny thing about America wherein it is still (for now) a democracy. If Biden wins a second term, he can't run again. I would take literally anything these people said more seriously if they focused on developing their dream progressive successor for 2028 (and also figured out how to get that person elected and in a place to make real change) rather than cynically sabotaging Biden in the most consequential election year, again, of our lifetimes. If you don't like him now, find a way to make his successor a better option. Throwing a toddler tantrum and handing the country back to a senile, deranged, fascist, revenge-riddled, theocratic Trump HELPS. NOBODY. I still don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that, but yeah.
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Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.
Danny: i want in
Red robin: …what?
Danny: your bat family. I want in.
Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-
Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.
Red robin: …why?
Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.
Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!
Danny: *stares in shock*
Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?
Orphan: no need. New brother!
Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?
Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.
Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*
Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.
Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)
Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*
Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)
Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.
Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)
Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-
Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.
Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)
Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act
Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly
Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons
Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?
Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously
Robin: and why would we trust you?
Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?
Robin: …you drive a hard bargain
Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!
Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting
Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage
Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!
Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.
Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park
Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks
Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)
Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)
Batman: hn (that said)
Batman: welcome to the family
Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.
Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!
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─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪. (𝘪'𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦) 🧶
⤷ summary: the world meets the newest mclaren team member, and they are loving it! it's poor oscars first day and shit's already hitting the fan sorry dude ): LMAO. lando just experienced love at first sight, while y/n is ready to fist fight
━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 32,890 others
mclaren oscar's first day of kindergarten, done. pre-season testing, done. (we'll be even faster soon 🙏🏼 don't worry guys)
2,568 comments
user2 HELLO??? WHO HACKED THE MCLAREN ACCOUNT
user6 we'll be racing past redbull in no time
mclaren a girl can dream
user7 lando is this you??? 😭
user8 budget dropped so low they had to hire the drivers for social media
user3 this is haas money behavior
mclaren excuse you i am NOT LANDO
user8 oscar????
mclaren no sir, i'm the owner of this house 🫵
user9 idk if this is a new admin but this is so unserious
mclaren new year new me babe
user9 give her a raise mclaren 🙏🏼
mclaren REPOST REPOST REPOST
landonorris first day on the job and already asking for more money?
mclaren i'm so sorry lord lando, you forget that us lowly peasants aren't on an athelete salary 🙄
user10 HUMBLE HIM, WE LOVE TO SEE IT
user11 mclaren admin beefing with lando was NOT on my 2023 bingo card
user12 she really said, "ik we're slow but LET US COOK"
mclaren TRUUUSTTT THAT COMEBACK IS COMING (im manifesting)
oscarpiastri KINDERGARTEN??? i'm nearly 22 mate
mclaren teensy weensy baby basically
oscarpiastri your fired /:
mclaren HAHA YOU CAN'T DO THAT 🏃🏻♀️
user13 petition for all the f1 team accounts to be run by young admins, this is tooooo good
mclaren screenshotting this for my boss so they don't see these comments and fire me
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user14 she. looked. up. his. salary. 💀 ICON
user15 hiring her was such a rare mclaren W
user16 MCLAREN ADMIN HEAR OUR PRAYERS AND MAKE TIKTOKS 🙏🏼
user17 OMG CAN U IMAGINE
user18 HOW MUCH MONEY DO I HAVE TO PAY MS. MCLAREN FOR THIS OMG
user19 will our team win? probably not BUT AT LEAST WE'LL BE GETTING CONTENT 😘
user20 AYYYYEEEE
user21 LANDO MAY NEVER WIN, BUT THE FANS NEVER LOSE 🤞🏾
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liked by mclaren, maxfewtrell, and 60,050 others
landonorris don't mind me, just living my lord life on my athlete's salary. bahrain here we come!
10,750 comments
user22 WHERES THE MCLAREN ADMIN
user23 lando nowins flexing on us poor people
user24 someone come get this man's phone
user25 oh i KNOW pr is mad 💀💀💀
user26 daniel ricciardo leaves and mclaren loses it's mind
user27 daniel leaves and all of us lose our minds 🥲
oscarpiastri jesus christ mate, log out
mclaren i'm not sure he knows how, he might need to pay someone to /:
user28 CRAZZZYYYY
user29 THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING
user30 "f1 is a serious sport." the serious sport in question:
user31 the papaya hat 🫵
user32 HE'S SO FINE IM GNAWING AT THE BARS
user33 BARK BARK WOOF WOOF
mclaren phones. on the table. NEOWWW
user33 holy shit this is actually so embarrassing
mclaren at least ur self aware!
user34 she clocked ur asses 😭😭😭
maxfewtrell lord lando flying economy
landonorris I AM NOT
user35 bro took that personally
user36 me thinks the man doth protest too much
danielricciardo i leave you alone for a few months and this is what you're doing
landonorris i learned from the best
danielricciardo DONT BLAME ME FOR THIS
maxverstappen1 ... that's my plane???
landonorris SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
maxverstappen1 you can't just take credit for my private jet. its mine.
mclaren this just in, little lando norris is a little LIAR
mclaren when he steals a plane and wears bucket hats 🫵🤣 everyone point and laugh
landonorris I QUITE LIKE BUCKET HATS
mclaren i quite like bucket hats 🇬🇧☕️🤓
maxverstappen1 🫵🤣
danielricciardo 🫵🤣
charles_leclerc 🫵🤣
carlossainz55 🫵🤣
maxfewtrell 🫵🤣
oscarpiastri 🫵🤣
landonorris OSCAR????
oscarpiastri 🫵🤣 🫵🤣 🫵🤣
mclaren damn he got you there
user37 this cannot be real
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There were quite a few things Lando expected to be on his agenda when he arrived in Bahrain after him and Max went seperate ways to their own teams. He figured he would meet with his engineers, spend some time getting adjusted to working with Oscar (especially given he hadn't had very much time to meet or bond with the rookie over the break or during pre-season testing), and doing some press interviews as per usual. However no where on his list was an impromptu meeting with Zak Brown. Oscar seemed clueless as to what was going on as well, and Lydia, Lando's personal assistant of two years, was just as clueless.
Lando and Oscar filed into the board room, bottles of water in hand, only to be met face to face with their team manager. Nothing seemed suspicious which Lando hoped was a good thing, but after their underwhelming performance in pre-season testing he knew anything was a possibility.
"Have a seat guys, it's good to see you both. I hope you've been well-rested since testing," Zak greeted with his usual cheerful attitude. Lando and Oscar looked at each other warily but nodded at their boss nonetheless. Zak was usually more of a 'get to the point' kind of man, so this change of pace was unnerving to say the least. Normally it scared Lando a little bit, but truthfully, right now, Lando wanted to be done with this meeting and to get to race preparations.
"That's good, you need all the rest you can get if we're going to try and put up a fight this weekend. In all honesty, I think within the next two years we have a chance to become real competition here. I think we can give Red Bull and Ferrari a run for their money and earn plenty of points this year. Hell," the older man chuckled, "maybe we can win it all."
Lando didn't want to seem skeptical, but he was definitely skeptical. He did not think the car he was given in testing could win the championship, but he would sure as hell be trying.
"But no matter how hard the engineers work the car, and no matter how many sims we do, the one thing we're lacking in is presence. McLaren is notable, we have a famous team and a long roster of famous, successful drivers, including the two of you, but we don't have the same dominating media presence that Mercedes or Ferrari do. And that's what gets us sponsors, and celebrity visits, and fans, and funding. We may not be struggling for money, but if you guys like your multi-million dollar salaries and you want your car to keep being better, we need more media presence. Which is why we decided we wanted to go a bit of a different route this year, with media and all of that."
Oh god. Lando knew where this was going. This was about the new social media admin that had been ruthlessly harrasing him- albeit teasingly- for days now. Only employed for less than two weeks and already stirring up the pot across platforms. Lando looked at Oscar, noting that his teammate was clearly following as well now.
"I know you both have come to realize this already, but there is a new social media manager who runs all of the McLaren accounts. We wanted someone young, someone trendy, someone who knew what the internet is looking for, and who can help us connect and start getting more eyes on McLaren. We want her to meet with you guys today to share a couple of ideas so you can be on the same page for what we'll be doing online. The new manager is just outside. Let me get her so you can speak with her."
Lando nodded dumbly. Right, ok, he could do that. Lando was young, he was online, he was trendy. Plus, most of if not all of the F1 drivers had some kind of media presence already. Lando streamed, he had instagram accounts and twitter, and he even had Quadrant. Lando steeled himself. This would be just fine. An adjustment, but fine.
Zak greeted someone outside of the door and a small bit of shuffling sounds were heard. Before Lando had a chance to stand, Zak was turning and nodding a quick goodbye. Leaving the office room, as a smaller body replaced the space he had been in.
Lando felt like the air had been knocked from his lungs and hoped he hadn't made a noise out loud. He stared, he couldn't help it. He was sure he was slack-jawed, mouth agape and flies coming in. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that he should be professional and behave like a normal human being. But the other part of his brain, the dominant part of his brain, was in awe.
Lando looked at the girl in front of him up and down, probably far too obviously, and was stunned. He saw jean shorts, a faded and a mid-washed denim. A colorful-tighter cropped shirt and some layered gold jewelery. Rings on her fingers. Sunglasses in her hair, making her look way to cool to ever speak to him. She rocked on the balls of her sneaker-clad feet- sneakers that matched her clothes perfectly much to Lando's delight- and quickly moved to set her laptop down of the table. She left her small colorful handbag on the table alongside a cup of iced coffee that was already melting in the Bahrain heat. She looked as if she had jumped straight from a Vogue cover (or one of his favorite dreams) and landed right in front of him.
Was it the heat that was making it so hot? Because Lando was becoming suddenly aware of the heat beneath his shirt collar. A stifled cough from Oscar drew Lando from his observation- or rather his creepy, stalker staring- and Lando realized this was not the social etiquette that the situation called for.
Before Lando could even take a step, the girl smirked.
"Nice to finally meet you guys. Hello Oscar," the girl leaned over and shook the taller man's hand. "And Lord Lando, is it? It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Y/N L/N, i'm the new social media manager for the season."
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Y/N could now officially say she is not a fan of Lando Norris. The online feud she had cleverly created to generate some conversation about McLaren before the season started had been banter. She had taken no offense to Lando's jokes at all, but now that she was in front of the man and could feel his judgement, her opionions had changed.
From the second she walked in Lando had begun unabashedly staring at her. Looking her up and down, from the shoes she had recently bought to the hair clipped back on her head, and was not sparing a single detail. She felt vaguely like a mannequin on display and it unnerved her.
Oscar smiled at her politely as she set her things down, and she felt thankful for the reprieve from the judgement and critcism she had been recieving since she arrived and was now experiencing again from Lando in full force.
Y/N was aware that her outfit wasn't uniform or professional, but those were not the qualities she was hired for. Y/N had been confident coming in here, feeling like she would likely connect better with people her own age, but was thoroughly dissapointed to find this was not the case.
Oscar ultimately cleared his throat awkwardly, and it appeared as though this finally snapped Lando out of his judgemental stupor, so Y/N decided to finally make her introductions.
"Nice to finally meet you guys, hello Oscar," she leaned over and shook the taller man's hand. "And Lord Lando, is it? It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Y/N L/N, i'm the new social media manager for the season."
Lando groaned loudly and Oscar laughed.
"Lando I don't think you'll ever live this one down," and Y/N forced a laugh and nodded in agreeance.
"No, probably not. But that's good, that's what I was hoping for." Y/N stated bluntly.
"You were hoping to torture me?" Lando stuttered out and Y/N rolled her eyes, "You'll live I promise." Oscar laughed before pointing out, "at least your not a kindergartener."
Lando stifled a laugh but agreed.
"What purpose did Oscar's baby jokes serve?" Lando asked, and Y/N forced herself not to punch the man at his judgemental tone. He clearly didn't believe in her ability to do her job.
"It's funny, that was it's purpose," she stated, gesturing to the table for the boys to sit as she opened up her laptop. She turned to face toward them, lifting herself slightly so was seated criss-crossed in the chair. She never had liked sitting normally. The boys across from her stared at her expectantly.
"So you create jokes the make people look at us more?" Oscar asked.
"In a way yes. My job is to manage the accounts, but I've also been hired to help get you guys more fans. Fans love to be interacted with, they love seeing you guys joke around, they like feeling like they have content to consume," Y/N explained.
"By playing into these desires, you get more fans, because they feel they 'know you" in a way they don't know the other drivers." The boys nodded their head in understanding.
"So the plan is for me to keep interacting with fans through the McLaren accounts, playing up jokes with you too, and for us to give the fans new content in a way they don't usually get it. Livestreams, youtube vlogs, inside internet jokes, TikToks, the works." Y/N stated.
"Essentially," she said dragging the word out, "I'm going to make you guys the internet's little papaya stars," Lando laughed but nodded. Y/N, despite her first impressions and her developing dislike for the driver, found herself smiling. She could see the vision. Both Oscar and Lando would be awkward and loveable and humorous. The perfect mix for internet support.
"So where do we start?" Oscar asked.
"I'm glad you asked," Y/N smirked. "Have you heard the clip of 'Cuffing Season' by SZA? There's a TikTok trend I think will be perfect for you to do."
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user38 can we talk about how gorgeous admin is?!?!? LIKE OH MY GOD
user10 only hot people go to mclaren
user40 that check better be huge for her
user41 oscar was so mf stiff 💀💀 free my boy
user42 who had a gun to oscars head, he was so scared
user43 lando thirst trapping ICB 😭 I NEED A BIG BOYYY
user44 god admin is so sexy and smart, that was art
user45 CAN WE DISCUSS HOW LANDO LOOKS AT HER
user46 ikr 💀 get off the floor lando your drooling
user47 i want a man to be that down bad for me
user48 lando loverboy era unlocked
user49 meanwhile admin didn't look him in the face
user50 f1 2023 is going to be a WILD RIDE for us mclaren fans if this is before the first race even starts
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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3
-
𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne
#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#formula 1#f1#f1 smut#f1 x you#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 smau#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#racew1nn3rs: fake it till you make it#racew1nn3rs
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