Jay's tiredness. Her perpetual exhaustion after getting her rest. Her reaching out to Ollie and caring for him because she needs him to know it wasn't his fault. Does she see herself in his self-blame? How much does she blame herself for what happened to Ava? For what's happened to her crew? She perks up when he's himself again, suggesting Alphonze be the ship, and she indulges in it. What else can she do?
She has to fix Alphonze, fix Ollie, fix the ship. Why did she pick up those tinker's tools? To make something new, or to fix something broken? She, herself, is a bunch of broken parts not yet assembled into something new. If she can fix the ship, or help the kid, or bring back her friend, maybe she can fix herself too. It's a project for later.
Gillion, childishly explaining the story to his grandpa. Jumping from beat to beat, out of order and barely decipherable. Excited to see him, determined to try. He's got him. He's got him. Things will be okay. He'll make it better, he'll wake up his Grandpa. Even if it takes bodyslamming him into the ocean of his own mind. Even if it takes watching his Grandpa forget things, unable to stop it.
Because he has to fix it. Gillion Tidestrider is a fixer. He takes care of it. "Tell me what you want so I can fight for it." He jumps into the ocean and nearly dies again to try and save Alphonze. He's still exactly what they made him, recklessly self-sacrificing because it's all he knows how to do.
We've seen Gillion and Jay fix. We've seen them be captains. Have a head on their shoulders. Now they have their own brokenness to deal with, and Chip takes charge. He's never fixed a damn thing in his life, or so he thinks, and here he is. Shoveling water out of the boat, writing a 'eulogy' and caring for his people, making sure the deck is clean and the sails are sturdy.
Meeting the new crewmate. Getting Drey. Reading a map, plotting a course. Captain of the Riptide Pirates, now a proper Captain. They need him, and he's not going anywhere. They can leave him if they want, if it's too dangerous, but he's not going anywhere.
The map to their destination. He took Jay from the shore, he pulled Gillion from the water. He's got them. Jay can fortify, Gillion can keep them afloat, and then there's Chip, silently taking care of his people.
Northern star, guiding light. A match in the darkness. A flame in the night. A map on the open ocean.
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"What are we married?" + cam❤️❤️❤️
my angel my baby my bestest boy and his bestest boy
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Cam still wasn't used to having a boyfriend who was good to him, as depressing as that sounded. He wasn't used to having someone who actually wanted him around, someone who liked him for him and not just because he was young and easy to manipulate.
He was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Derek John to realize he was a fraud and kick him to the curb like he deserved.
It seemed like that day was finally coming. Derek John had been distracted all day, barely paying attention to the conversations Cam kept starting, and he kept fidgeting like he was ready to bolt for the door.
Cam just wished he'd rip the band-aid off already.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked, suddenly, startling the both of them. He hadn't meant to phrase the question like that, but whatever.
They were in his bedroom, lying on the floor because his bed was covered in stuff he was packing for his upcoming tour. Derek John was bouncing his leg, making the floor vibrate.
"You're so rude. Anyone ever tell you that?" Derek John teased, smiling as he turned to look at him. "Rudest person I ever met."
Cam poked him in the side, bumping his head into his shoulder like an affectionate cat. "It's why you like me."
Derek John laughed in that affectionate way that only he got to hear. It was soft and gentle, just a short gust of sound flying from his lips. "Oh, of course. It's the only reason."
Before they could fall into silence again, Cam kicked him in the shin. "You didn't answer me."
Derek John rolled his eyes. "Forgive me for not wanting to respond to What's wrong with you? Like that's such an easy question to answer."
Cam kicked him again, hard enough to make him move his leg away. "You know what I meant, jerk. You've been lost in the clouds since you came over. What's on your mind?"
Derek John paused, and his heart dropped. This was the moment. He was going to get dumped.
As he braced himself for the emotional impact, Derek John tangled their fingers together. Which was kind of a dick move if you were about to break someone's heart, honestly.
"You're not allowed to make fun of me," he warned.
Cam scoffed. "I wouldn't make fun of you," Derek John sent him a look of disbelief, "I wouldn't! Not if it was serious anyway."
Derek John nodded and sat up, yanking Cam up immediately after. It must've been serious if it was a conversation they couldn't have lying on the ground.
Oh gosh, he really was dumping him.
Cam's heart started to pound, and his eyes filled with tears without his permission because his stupid tear ducts had a vendetta against him.
Derek John noticed immediately, which was the most in character behavior he'd displayed all afternoon. Pulling Cam into his arms, he asked, "Woah, baby, what's wrong? I haven't even said anything yet."
Cam sighed at his own melodramatics. Now on top of being dumped, he was embarrassing himself.
Sniffling into Derek John's shoulder he began to ramble at him, which was even more humiliating. "Please don't break up with me. I'm sorry for being shitty and making fun of you all the time and being a cry baby and being a dumb cokehead so we can't go out to parties and do fun things like normal couples. I'll do whatever you want. I'll listen to stupid EDM and watch all the lame action movies you want. Please don't break up with me. I like you so much."
Derek John moved him away from their hug and wiped the tears off his cheeks. "Oh my God, Teo, why would you think I'd ever break up with you?"
Cam sniffled again, pushing his face into Derek John's stupidly big palm. "Because I'm annoying and you've been so weird since you came over and I'm leaving in like two days to go across the country and why would you stay with me when you can find someone else way cooler when I'm gone?"
Cam hadn't realized that last part was something he was worried about until the words were spilling out of his lips. Funny how that worked.
"Well, first of all, you are really annoying," Derek John started. Cam punched him in the arm and he laughed, grabbing his hand to kiss his knuckles. "But I like that about you. And the fact that you're a crybaby. And you making fun of me, because I like making fun of you. And you know I hate parties anyway. At least dumb LA parties. Like, why would I go to a club where everyone is a terrible person when I can get drunk in my living room and have way more fun that way?"
Cam nodded along even though he hadn't touched any alcohol in nine months.
Derek John dropped his hand to squish his face. "I'm not breaking up with you. I have no plans to and I don't want to. I like you too much. You're stuck with me, okay?"
Cam nodded again, sniffling one last time. "'Kay. Sorry for stealing your moment. You can say what you were gonna say before."
Derek John bit his lip, suddenly nervous. It was always such an alien expression on his face.
"I want you to wear my cross. While you're on tour," he admitted, avoiding Cam's eyes. "I know you don't believe in God anymore and you don't have to if it'll make you feel uncomfortable, but I just.. I want you to know I'm there for you even if I'm not physically with you. And, like, maybe I want to remind people that I'm yours and you're mine or some sappy shit like that."
Cam crawled into his lap and kissed him so hard that he fell backwards, catching himself on his elbows so he didn't smack his head onto the floor. "I'd love that. So much."
"Yeah?" he asked, grinning, face lit up with joy.
Cam nodded, face splitting with a smile of his own, "Yeah."
Derek John didn't waste any time, sitting up and taking the chain off of his own neck. The necklace glittered under the light, the cross itself seemingly the shiniest it had ever been.
Fingers lingering on the skin of Cam's neck, eyes locked on the cross, Derek John mumbled, "We're a little married."
"What does this mean now? What are we? Married?" Cam teased as Derek John fastened the chain around his throat. He was definitely making fun of him but he knew he'd get away with it because he always did. "Was matching tattoos not enough for you?"
The chain was so light it was barely noticeable, but the cross sat heavily against his chest. But it was a comforting weight, a grounding presence. Like Derek John's arm over his waist when the woke up together in the mornings, or his head on his shoulder.
Cam kissed him again, muttering, "In your dreams," against his mouth.
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