#they need therapy and nightmare is NOT helping

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Grease Lightning

Pairing: Buck x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Notes: This has been in my box for forever and I’m sorry it took so long to write

Warnings: A panic attack is implied

Every day since the accident you’ve watched Buck like a hawk. 

You stare at him while he eats his cereal, telling you how excited he is to see Eddie like a kid going to school to see their best friend. 

You stare when he’s on the couch playing games with Chris and Eddie has his arms around you because he’s staring for the same reason. 

And you stare when he’s lying in bed next to you, staring right back into your eyes. He reaches out, pushing a piece of hair out of your face, giving you a little smile. 

“I’m okay” He whispers every night, his heart crumbling when he watches little tears flow down your cheeks as you nod slowly. 

It’s funny because you’ve gotten better, he used to have to hold you until you cried yourself to sleep, you’d wake up every morning and he’d be practically lying on top of you, just so you could feel the warmth of his body, the beating of his heart. So you knew he was alive as soon as you woke up. He didn’t mind the extra pampering, because he knew you needed it. You packed his stupid paw patrol lunch box every day with his snacks because you knew Bobby had every meal covered. You drove him to work now, usually, you’d take your bike places but it was Buck who suggested you bring him to work to spend more time together and so you’d have a car all day, he didn’t mind not having it. 

It was all honestly mostly so he could keep an eye on you too. Eddie would ask in hushed tones how you were doing and Buck would nearly crumble each time because he was just so worried about you. 

You weren’t even sure the last time you’d had a nightmare about what had happened, therapy had been a huge help, teaching you ways to cope with the intense anxiety that something that freaking rare could happen again. Final destination your ass. But you already knew tonight was going to be kind of shitty. You’d woken up that morning, turning over and reaching for him to steal his body heat, when your hand was met with nothing but sheets, cool to the touch. Your eyes shot open, his phone wasn’t on the nightstand. 

“Buck?” You say quietly, your heart beating wildly in your chest. You scramble out of bed, and hurry down the stairs, looking around the apartment. 

“Buck?? Evan??” You call out louder, and there’s still no answer. The logical thing would be to just call him. But rationality doesn’t always come when we need it to. 

You wrap your arms around yourself, slowly sinking to the floor. Your hands are shaking way too much to even dial his number in the first place. You can feel the edges of your mind slowly fraying, your heartbeat seems to be slowing down, it’s like you can’t feel anything at all. What if he didn’t even answer you? What if he couldn’t answer you?

“C-call Eddie” You managed to choke out as you sank further and further into yourself and into this strange black hole. The phone rings and rings and rings and you’re not even sure when he answered but you can just barely hear him calling your name. He calls out your name again and you’re still not answering him. But he can hear you, he can hear the hyperventilating. You think he tells you they’ll be home as soon as they can and that it’s gonna be okay and he’s going to stay on the line with you and you just shrug in response to him because talking is not a thing you’re capable of right now. 

The front door slams open and Buck comes running over. He pulls you into his arms and kisses your head, holding you as tightly to his chest as you can stand it. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay now I’m here, just breathe baby I’m here” He strokes your hair as Eddie comes over, sitting down on the floor a little ways away from you two. He puts his head in his hands and sighs before looking up. Buck adjusts you in his lap and rubs your thigh slowly. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asks quietly and you shake your head, your body relaxing against his? 

“I have an idea,” Eddie says quietly and you bury your face further into his chest as Buck looks over at him. 

“You’re not really here” 

Suddenly you’re on the floor, no longer in his arms. You look around you, and Eddie is standing over you, with Buck’s limp body in his arms. 

“I’m sorry” He choked out as he fell to his knees “I-I’m so- I’m so sorry” 

“No, no please no Buck no” Your voice cracks as you scramble over to his body, hugging him to your chest “Buck please!” You sob “Evan please I love you, please” 

“Y/N? Hey, Y/N come on wake up” You slam forward in the bed and Buck shrieks, throwing his hands up in little fake karate motions. 

“What are you doing?!” You gesture at him wildly and he scoffs 

“What am I doing?? What are you doing?!! You- You were crying for me” He sighs softly, putting his hands down. “ You were crying and telling me you loved me” 

He sits back down next to you, fixing the covers around his waist, and sighs, running his hands through his hair and looking over at you.

“Another bad dream?” He asks quietly and you nod. He opens his arms and you crawl into his lap, clinging to his arm. He wraps them around you, kisses your head, and sets his chin down on it.

“Haven’t had one in a while… Almost thought you weren’t worried about me anymore, thought there was another man” 

You snort and pinch his arm and he bats your hand away.

“I’m for real life! What if you found another super sexy ultra mega hottie firefighter boyfriend?”

“Ultra mega hottie?” You giggle into his chest and he smacks your butt. You yelp and he snickers again.

“Hell yeah!…who else would you want to get engaged to?” He says the last part so quietly you almost question if you even heard it. You look up at him and he reaches over into the nightstand and pulls out a small velvet box. 

“I will always be here to save you, Y/N… You’ll never be able to get rid of me. Even lightning couldn’t do it!!” 

You laugh a little through the tears and he helps out sit up, opening the little box.

“This is not exactly the proposal I had in mind… actually Eddie is helping me set it up so you gotta pretend to be surprised okay?”

“Okay,” you nod slowly, gulping quietly and now crying for a completely different reason. The ring is gorgeous. It’s everything you’d wanted and you knew he had definitely been sneaking around on your Pinterest boards. He slips it on your finger and you stare at it, your heart pounding in your ears. 

“I love you, Y/N” He tilts your chin up and you smile, your heart no longer aching with the pain of imagining him gone. Because he’s here, right now at this moment your Buck is here and he’s alive and he’s beautiful and he’s here.

“I love you too” 

He leans in brushing his lips softly against yours and nuzzling your nose, grinning when you giggle. He cups your face, trailing his thumb over your cheekbone before planting a soft, lingering kiss on your lips. He exhales slowly and you smile, moving your lips against his. He closes the box and puts it back on his nightstand before pushing you back slowly with his body, never parting from the kiss. Your legs open to welcome him and he settles down between them, growling playfully. 

“Why future Mrs. Buckley” He pulls away a little to look at you “Are you propositioning me?” 

“Oh shut up!” You squeal laughing as he pulls your oversized shirt up and crawls under it

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I need to start screenshotting posts i like but anyways

There was one where color tried to get nightmare to learn what mortals need, that at first they didnt have a kitchen so they had to eat while they were out terrorising people.

Just stuff like that, n just generally being bad. Ripping the heart out of a childs chest infront of their mother, forcing someone to eat their pet etc.

Like nightmare is horrible yk

And yk how some people say he does that because of trauma, he doesn't know better and allat.

Okay so take ALL THAT, and let them learn nightmare can love, he has loved, he had a spouse and a friend group, he knows what mortals need, he knows what to do when they are sick he has taken care of his sick spouse before etc.

Basically im just thinking about their reaction when learning nightmare knows their needs, has felt love before etc. But he does it because he can, and it makes him happy (dude is def a sadist after them 999 apples ykyk)

Like obviously its also a fear of being vulnerable and stuff and needing to be the one in power because not being that scares him because villagers decided to hate on a 6 year old, but also he can just be cruel and sadistic 🤷‍♀️

I also feel it’s important to realize that there are those who don’t feel love, or describe themselves as loveless, and has never or would never do half of anything that nightmare has done.

but ultimately, i feel the ones who’d have an issue with it morally off the top of my head are swap, dream, color, delta, cross, epic. possibly many more but that’s my first thoughts.

killer definitely wouldn’t care about it. It’s the least of his concerns. hes too busy surviving nightmare to care about if the man is capable of love or not. he’d only care about it in Stage 2 if it means he could manipulate those emotions in his favor.

i have no doubt that the fawn response is something deeply ingrained in killer—whatever hes had to do to either survive, avoid inconvenience (stage 2) and pain (stage 1), or just whatever will get it over quicker or will make nightmare/chara leave him alone faster.

;would be interesting to explore how killers trauma responses would play out in the context of his dissociative disorder/stages. Especially in the context of one sided killermare where killer has to play his new role as nightmares lover. at most he’ll find small, easily deniable ways to inconvenience, annoy, anger, or upset nightmare. just because he can.

Murder and Horror, i find a little harder to say mostly because neither are exactly free from “sin” themselves so to speak, but they also arent killer; who has lived in this type of environment for years. killer does not have things like shame, anger, embarrassment, guilt, pride, morals, things like that—hindering him, he will do whatever he thinks he must. any emotions like that are greatly suppressed and dissociated—even in stages such as stage 1 where they’re very intense.

i can see this actually being something killer struggles to actually unpack and allow himself to feel in therapy—any anger or hatred towards nightmare or chara. i can see a lot of emotional outbursts from stages 1 and 3.

this is because killer has learned that emotions are dangerous, and wouldn’t get him anywhere. murder’s entire thing is fighting back in an endless loop against his human, and horror refused to be sacrificed to help his AU, fought back, and then went even further by destroying the core, lobotomzing alphys, and then leading Snowdin into eating humans seemingly just to spite Undyne.

I doubt they’d care at all if nightmare is capable of love or care or not, they’d probably not like him regardless. and whereas killer is unable to even really hate nightmare due to the danger surrounding such emotions (especially in stage 2, although im sure he’s very capable of despising nightmare in stage 3), horror and murder definitely could hate nightmare. which would mean their negative emotions are directly making nightmare stronger lmao.

{ @brokenramunebottle }

[satandoesntwannabehere]

erm hallo 👋👋

have some doodlez !!

[deoidesign]

.

[queen0fm0nsterz]

LN twitter posted a new image and as adorable as it is, I can't help but notice...

... How the eye is looking at Six directly. Not towards Mono and Six together: just Six. That drawing is the same that appears painted on one of the walls in the Hospital and I think it's very interesting how the entire thing is framed.

Also, Thin Man being hidden in plain sight yet again... he's always there but you have to look for him.

[naamahdarling]

Time for y'all to

send asks!

again!

[glass-trash-bab]

I need to talk about Hopkins more on here, especially at 2 a.m.

[skyluablog]

TW

E.L.A Midnight and Aiko(Mid's crush)

In E.L.A, Midnight would have had two eyes if Goopmare hadn't "ripped out" one of her eyes and given it to Lily as a gift.

In this image, Midnight was ?? years old and she died because of an illness she had, Aiko was ?? years old and died from goopmare as "punishment" for Mid's for having liked Aiko

E.L.A by: @anotherrosesthatfell

[fatal-blow]

trying to be normal and not randomly message everyone in the notes of the subcapularis post with Bonus Facts

[meateater-rabbit]

[randomgodfatherthoughts]

"But for years Hagen had had nightmares, dreaming he had grown to manhood blind, tapping a white cane, his blind children behind him tap-tapping with their little white canes as they begged in the streets. Some mornings when he woke the face of Don Corleone was imprinted on his brain in that first conscious moment and he would feel safe."

From The Godfather novel by Mario Puzo.

[theygender]

*checking the tracking information for my package from under a pile of overpriced teas and vitamins* this next herbal supplement will fix me

[lovefromkelly]

every single person who lives w a partner should read Fair Play, it's so insightful about the dynamics that play into households. also, while we're at it, read The Love Prescription together as well. that will help you remember your partner loves you when you can't feel it AND help you check whether you don't feel loved by their way of loving bc of them or you.

[feliciadraws]

Thinking about how Waka's trauma must affect his relationship with Mei very often has me like

[touhoutivations]

"During a hibernation- when a sunflower burns out and wilts, I have some advice to share with my darling buds."

"Sometimes you need to focus on the basics, in this case- treat yourself like a plant. Do you need water? Food? Sunlight? A trim? It seems silly, but breaking things down to essentials and stepping away from humanity to look at your needs objectively is necessary."

"There is plenty of time to bloom and burst and cause mischief later. Settle down, spread your petals, and tend to yourself."

"Hmm? I'm forgetting something? Ah...perhaps you should remember times where you've felt the sun graze your cheek, and joy surge up inside. When the day is dark, cherish those times."

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

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