#they really reminded me of them during the episode. the whole marriage thing too. this... discussion of

[gregoftom]

i’m really glad yall See The Vision with conwilla in 4.03 compared to tomgreg 3.09 like i couldn’t get it out of my head. like it’s even a similar conversation in some ways. as soon as i thought about tom and greg sitting in 3.09 with their knees touching i was like hey wait a minute. went back to conwilla in 4.03 and saw the same position. then the framing on her face when connor asks her her intentions? is she just selling her soul to be with him for money? she admits she kinda is, but she’s happy, which gives us an idea that her feelings for him are for status and comfort, yes, but also she wants to do it and it’s her choice and she enjoys being with him/cares for him. what is she gonna do with a soul anyways.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

HOTD Episode 2 Review/Analysis (Spoilers)

Ok so here is my review for the 2nd episode, I thought it was another really great episode that did a good job of further developing the characters and moving the plot along. I like the pacing of the show so far and once again come the end of the episode I couldn’t wait to see the next. Going to put a spoiler warning here even though I am fairly sure most people have already seen the episode. As I said in my episode 1 review (which you can read here if you wish) I have not read the book so all my opinions and theories are based on what I have seen in the show. With that out of the way lets get into it. 

Marriage Proposals 

A big part of this episode was focused around how Viserys is expected to remarry and have more children to secure his line. We as the viewer are presented with two possibilities Laena Velaryon, the daughter of Corlys and Rhaenys, and Alicent Hightower, who we see has been continuing to visit with the King. 

During one of these visits we see Viserys and Alicent discussing Old Valyria with Viserys showing her his model. We learn some more details about Valyria and some of it I think can tell us a bit about the Targaryens’ views on marriage. Firstly we learn that Valyria was built into a volcano, which you know bad idea in my opinion but each to their own I guess. We also learn that the dragon riders were the highest of the nobility and they lived at the face of the volcano which was closest to their source of magic and power, the Targaryens come from this nobility. The part that was really interesting to me was him telling us about the Anogrion where the blood mages worked their craft. This suggests that the bond between the Targaryens and their dragons was brought about by magic and more specifically blood magic. I think this explains why the Targaryens marry each other to keep their blood pure. It’s not just because they think their blood is better and above other houses its because their power over their dragons, the things that makes them closer to gods than men, lies within their blood. To dilute it, so to speak, too much could be to risk them losing that power. It’s like Rhaenyra said in episode 1, without their dragons they are just like everyone else. With the blood mages of Valyria gone with the Doom of Valyria the Targaryens have lost their ability to make new dragon riders so their way of keeping the blood magic going is by marrying each other. In GOT I just could not understand why the Targaryens were so ok with marrying brother to sister etc but having learnt this about the blood magic tying them to the dragons it makes more sense to me. I still think its weird but I can better understand why in their world it has become normal to them. I also think it is significant in this episode as the Velaryons whilst not from the dragon riders nobility are of Valyrian descent and this seems to be considered as an advantage for why Viserys should marry Laena as a way to strengthen those blood ties back to Valyria. 

When it comes to Laena, politically the marriage makes sense. The Velaryons are one of the most powerful families in Westeros, they control the navy and the shipping lanes and they have Valyrian blood, many characters throughout the episode express the opinion that it is a strong match. However Laena being so young makes the situation incredibly uncomfortable. When I saw her walking next to Viserys I legit gasped in horror when I realised this little girl was who they were proposing to be the King’s new wife. That whole scene was so awkward and just uncomfortable is the only word I can really think of. And it was suppose to have that effect on you, its a sad reminder that this kind of thing did happen in our own history and that girls as well as women were used for political advantage. It became particularly horrifying when you see this little girl telling a grown man that she will give him many children. The one small mercy was at least Viserys was also uncomfortable with her age. 

This is a bit of a side note but one thing I did find interesting and kind of cute in that scene was Laena’s fascination with the dragons and with Vhagar in particular. Her mother is a Targaryen so I do wonder if this is foreshadowing that Laena herself will one day become a dragon rider and whether she will find Vhagar seeing as she seems to have a obsession with her in particular, maybe even ride her? That could be very cool to see. It also tells us a bit about Vhagar, we know she is still alive but that she is too big for the dragon pit and seems to have taken to nest somewhere on the coast of the narrow sea. Laena mentions that the workers of Spice Town have heard Vhagar’s song and that it is a sad thing. I think Viserys response of ‘I imagine even dragons get lonely’ is really poignant as it reflects the feelings and situations of the Targaryen family of Viserys, Daemon and Rhaenyra at the moment. They are all estranged from each other and I think each of them in this episode are struggling with deep feelings of loneliness. Also its just a really sad image to think of poor Vhagar being all alone and singing about that loneliness. 

Whilst most people see the match with Laena as a good thing and are pushing the king to accept the proposal, one person who is not so keen on the idea is Otto Hightower. He clearly feels threatened by this proposal made by Corlys because it gets in the way of his own plans of the King marrying his daughter. I mean he has spent the last six months coaxing his daughter into meeting with the King hoping an attachment will grow between them and this proposal from Corlys puts a spanner in the works, especially as it is such a strong match politically thus making it a popular one with the other members of the council. So Otto does something very manipulative but very clever, he plays on the king’s own doubts about the match. He brings up how young Laena is. He talks about how he misses his own wife and how the idea of replacing her for duty’s sake is unthinkable and that he doesn’t envy the King knowing that it is going to make the king think of Aemma and how its only been six months since she passed. Otto is doing everything he can to plant that doubt and to make the King hesitate whilst also continuing to encourage Alicent to visit him. And it works. 

In regards to Alicent’s visits to the King I do think over time they have come to have a respect and care for each other but it is still very clear that Alicent is only there because her father told her to go. She also does give the King good advice about reaching out and trying to talk to Rhaenyra. But the situation is messy and kind of crappy all round. Alicent is very trapped in this situation she doesn’t want to be in. I think she knows what her father’s end goal is here but they are not her own motives. She feels like she doesn’t have a choice. Viserys is also concerned about upsetting Rhaenyra with the news that he is being pressured to remarry and doesn’t seem to know how to approach the situation which leads to him making mistakes such as the decision to not talk to Rhaenyra about the fact that he has been having these meetings with Alicent. But then even if they did tell her about the meetings I think Rhaenyra would still feel betrayed because she’s not stupid, she knows the motive behind the visits and even though Alicent didn’t really have a choice and its more her father’s manipulation than hers, Rhaenyra, unlike Alicent, is someone who frequently speaks her mind to her father and stands up for herself with her father so I don’t think she would understand or accept the excuse of well my father made me do it. Alicent, unlike Rhaenyra, grew up with a very manipulative father who only uses her for his own gain, therefore its not as easy for her to defy him. I can see both sides of Alicent feeling she didn’t have a choice as she couldn’t defy her father and Rhaenyra seeing it as a betrayal on both Alicent’s and her father’s part. 

Throughout the episode Viserys really struggles with communicating with Rhaenyra, I mean that scene where they are having dinner and there are crickets in the background was low key hilarious yet also pretty much said it all. But they do have a really great and moving scene towards the end of the episode after Rhaenyra returns from Dragonstone. He opens up about how much he misses her mother and how he could never truly replace Aemma but that he has a duty to remarry and produce more heirs. She in turn lets him know that not only would her mother have understood this but that she does too and essentially gives him her blessing to remarry. As good as the conversation was though it needed to go further as at this moment Rhaenyra assumes the person her father will marry is Laena. I really do think that Viserys should have told Rhaenyra before the official announcement to the small council that he was planning on marrying Alicent. I also think Viserys should have spoken to Corlys privately before the announcement. I think Corlys would still have taken it badly but at least Viserys could have explained his reasoning and explained that he was uncomfortable with Laena’s age and sort of softened the blow. By not speaking to either of them before hand both were blindsided and publicly humiliated, both feeling betrayed by the King and Rhaenyra also by Alicent. I just think the situation could have been handled better by Viserys. Corlys took Viserys’ choice to marry Alicent over Laena as an insult and Viserys created a bit of a problem for himself here as Corlys’ anger lead to him deciding to team up with Daemon and deal with the stepstones himself. 

Rhaenyra 

Viserys’ decision to remarry is going to have some consequences for Rhaenyra as well, which leads me to one of my favourite scenes in the episode, the conversation between her and Rhaenys. This scene was just so so good and both actresses gave amazing performances. The situation with Viserys and Laena does bother them both but they also both recognise the pressure their society puts on the king to remarry and produce heirs, the ‘order of things’. I also think that whilst Rhaenys does genuinely want to warn Rhaenyra and make her understand the truth of it, she is also a little salty. At the Great Council she was overlooked by the lords but those lords did bend their knees to Rhaenyra. I think Rhaenys really does want to believe that it was only because she was a woman that she was overlooked, if Rhaenyra does become Queen and is accepted as such by the lords then that would mean it wasn’t just because Rhaenys was a woman it was because they didn’t want her. I think Rhaenys is afraid that there is some truth in what Rhaenyra said about them rejecting her specifically as she recognises that there is some significance to the lords bending their knees to Rhaenyra. However there is also truth to what Rhaenys says about how the King will take a new wife and that wife could give him sons. If this happens then the realm will expect his son to be heir not Rhaenyra. I am very curious as to whether when it comes down to it Rhaenys will support Rhaenyra’s claim to the throne or a male heir’s? 

I do think Rhaenys words stuck with Rhaenyra and spurred her to prove she is worthy to be the heir and it influences her actions for the rest of the episode. Rhaenyra knows there is truth to Rhaenys words and she wants to prove her wrong. I think throughout this episode Rhaenyra is focused on proving to her father, and the realm, that he made the right choice in naming her heir. Things start out rocky for her in the beginning of the episode when she speaks out in the small council. I think this scene shows the contrast between Viserys and Rhaenyra. When Corlys brings the news about the crab feeder he makes some very good points about how the crown looks weak right now and it is clear that he is frustrated with the King’s inaction. We are shown by Viserys refusal to really do anything about the crab feeder or Daemon taking dragon stone that he is the kind of king that avoids problems rather than facing them. Rhaenyra on the other hand seems much more hands on and willing to solve problems, I think her speaking up shows that her confidence is begining to grow and she is stepping up and trying to take a more active role. It seems like Corlys approves of this which makes me wonder if he could be a potential ally for Rhaenyra in the future. I did really like Corlys’ line ‘to elude a storm you can either sail into it or around it. But you must never await its coming.’ I feel like Viserys very much is just awaiting the storm’s coming whereas Rhaenyra, Daemon and Corlys are the type that sail into the storm and face it head on, I could see the three of them banding together at some point in the future as they seem to have similar views to each other. 

After she speaks up Otto tries to curb her and bring her back to heel by condescendingly suggesting that there might be another task she could be doing. Just like he did with Daemon he is trying to keep Rhaenyra and her opinions out of the small council so that only his voice is heard by the King. This is clearly frustrating to Rhaenyra as she believes she does have something worthwhile to contribute but she is being silenced and she believes that her father only named her heir to spite Daemon and doesn’t really take her seriously. She is instead sent to choose the next Kings guard. I think she showed good logic in asking if any of the knights had real combat experience. She makes her decision based on who is best for the role of protecting the King and not on the nobility of their blood. More importantly when Otto tries to influence her to choose someone else of noble birth she sticks to her guns and explains her reasoning. As it is a logical decision there is nothing Otto can really say, he knows she is right. I think this is the moment when Otto begins to realise that she may not be as easy to manipulate as he thought she would be when he suggested she be named heir. 

Rhaenyra further shows her grit and worthiness to be heir when she chooses to go to dragon stone and retrieve the egg from Daemon. She was confident that she could get the egg back without blood shed and knew that Otto could not do that alone. When she does arrive Otto once again tries to send her away so that he can control the situation. Thankfully Rhaenyra doesn’t allow herself to be pushed aside, instead she confidently pushes past them and by cautioning them about Syrax she issues a subtle but effective threat to Otto that reminds him that she is the one in control and the one with the power here. After witnessing Rhaenyra retrieve the egg from Daemon without blood shed, Otto truly sees how much of a threat Rhaenyra is to him. He realises that he can’t control her and that she is more like Daemon than she is her father. She was able to do what he could not and she also did it in front of witnesses. I think the men there would respect and admire the way she handled the situation and it is something even the king recognises Otto could not have done himself. I can’t deny that I loved seeing Rhaenyra succeed and prove that she is worthy of being the heir in her own right. 

Daemon Drama 

Ah Daemon you lovable mess of a person. I can’t lie, sorry but I just love this guy, everything he does just cracks me up. This guy literally stole an egg, invented a fake wedding and pregnancy all because he was bored and lonely and wanted some attention from his big brother, how can you not find that thoroughly entertaining?  

I thought his letter was really funny like it was clearly deliberately written to shock people but more importantly to draw the attention of his brother. He knows his brother well and knew just what to say to wind him up. It is really interesting as well that Viserys sees this and knows that Daemon is just doing it to get attention and was going to just ignore him. But Daemon anticipated this which is why he took prince Baelon’s egg specifically, he rightly knew that upon hearing which egg it was Viserys would be so angered he’d come to Daemon himself which I think was Daemon’s ultimate goal. It is only because Otto interferes that Daemon’s plan doesn’t work the way he wants it too. I do think Otto dissuaded the King from going because he was afraid the two brothers seeing each other face to face would lead to a reconciliation and he wanted to prevent this. I do think Daemon was also hoping for a reconciliation though. 

When they were reading the letter it was clear that Rhaenyra was hurt by Daemon calling himself the rightful heir and by the fact that it was her brother’s egg that he took. But it is also interesting that Rhaenyra is the one that thought to ask what egg Daemon took. I think a part of her already knew because of how well she knows him and I think she knows what he is trying to do. 

The scene in the walkway to Dragon Stone is another of my favourite scenes from this episode. I love that Daemon just casually strolled up carrying the egg. He did seem disappointed that his brother didn’t come and had sent Otto instead. This only fuelled Daemon’s anger and hurt and to be honest it really was a bad idea to send Otto considering the animosity between them. There was only one way that was going to go, it was bound to get ugly and it does fast, insults are thrown, swords are drawn and it begins to look like blood shed in inevitable. It’s only escalated further when Caraxes appears. I just want to take a moment as say, damn is Caraxes a beautiful dragon. There’s a moment where the sunlight glints off his wings and the red just comes through, I kind of caught my breath. But he is also very terrifying. I also think it is very interesting how Caraxes seems to sense and respond to Daemon’s moods, if Daemon is angry so too is Caraxes which is bad news for Otto and his companions. 

I also loved loved Syrax and Rhaenyra’s entrance. It was so cool how the clouds moved right before they burst through them. I also think it was interesting how Daemon sensed their presence before anyone else and how upon sensing them he immediately lowers his sword, seeing her calms him because he is getting what he wants, he did all this because he was lonely and wanted to see his family. This was his way of coaxing them out. It’s also very cute how Caraxes was also happy to see Syrax and how they were calling out to each other. When Otto tries to stop Rhaenyra you can see Daemon watching them with interest, I think he was curious to see what she was going to do and was proud that she did stand her ground. I did love how she just marched right up to Daemon and reminds him that she is the heir and that’s her castle that he’s living in, gotta love that confidence. I did really enjoy their exchange in this scene. I do think it is very telling that Daemon can’t bring himself to lie to Rhaenyra when she confronts him about whether he is to be a father. I think she knew that he had made it all up and recognised he was doing it all for attention and out of loneliness.  

Rhaenyra challenging him and telling him that if he wished to be restored as heir then he would have to kill her was ballsey but I also think she knew he wouldn’t do it. Daemon loves his family. We’ve heard alot from others how Daemon craves the throne, that he would even kill his brother, his own family to get it. But honestly I don’t think he does want the throne, he wants to be seen as worthy, useful by his brother. He wants his brother to be proud of him. We know that Daemon has held a few positions of power such as Master of Laws, Master of Coins, Commander of the City Watch and of course Heir, but Otto has convinced the King to take each responsibility away from him which must be really frustrating for Daemon, it must seem like his own brother always sees him as a failure who lets him down. I think his desire to be heir has less to do with actually wanting the throne and more to do with wanting to mean something to his brother. The only position we have ever really heard him covet is hand of the king, he doesn’t want to replace his brother he wants to be at his brother side and wants to help him and be recognised by his brother. Rhaenyra knows Daemon well, unlike Viserys, she does see him and she knows how to talk to him. I think this is why he gives the egg back. When she is challenging him she is basically saying if you really want the throne then kill me but they both know that’s not what he wants. If he really did want the throne then there was nothing stopping him in that moment from killing her. The more I see of Daemon the more convinced I am that he isn’t after the throne. 

I think another instance that shows that Daemon does love and care for his brother is when he stands up for him at the end of the episode with Corlys. I could really relate to the moment when he says he will speak of his brother as he likes but Corlys may not, its peak sibling energy. But I do think that what Corlys says about the stepstones offering a chance to prove his worth to anyone who might still doubt it really resonates with Daemon and describes his feelings towards his brother and his motives to a tee. I also really loved Corlys’ line ‘we are the second sons Daemon, our worth is not given, it must be made.’ It’s just such a good line and got me really hyped for the next episode. 

So another really good episode, as I said before I have watched all three episodes together so I will be posting my ep 3 review soon.       

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Tuesday's episode was so great! It had everything, Tarlos communication finally, TK and Tommy, parallel talks with the parents, Andrea roasting Carlos on his bullshit, 126 family moments while helping Marjan dating, Paul x Asha confirmation, Paul being ordained (a nice surprise 👀), a lizard (which I'm finding oddly cute), and i found the rescues hilarious too (though I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion).

The only thing that bothers me a bit is that Carlos keeps making a joke of his secret marriage. I mean, I don't mind it being mentioned sometimes, like when Andrea said Carlos would be married twice but only once to someone he loves, and I guess TK must be okay with it in genereal for him to feel comfortable bringing it up in this way. But in moments when TK is already spiraling the effect is to continuously remind him of all of that mess, and it's clear that, at least in those highly emotional moments, TK doesn't really appreciate the humor. Of course it may just be that what he's annoyed about is simply the fact of Carlos deflecting instead of taking the conversation seriously, independently on the joke used, but I would like them to stop. Or make TK joke about it too together with Carlos in moments when it isn't used as deflection during serious conversation but while commenting something that happened that day or even flirting, to show us he really is over that mess, actually that would be even better. I'd say TK could use it to roast Carlos a little too but I'm afraid they would make it instead of teasing in relatively light-hearted situations (like I'd want it to be), as hurtful jabs that would put them more at odds in tense situations (which I DON'T want, it would feel like regression at this point).

That's the only thing, but this time Ronen was right, this is definitely one of my new favorite episodes.

And I'm curious what awaits Tarlos next, I hope it will be things like this and not excessive drama, and I know it's maybe not a so popular opinion but I'd like for both of them to stay out of hospital beds for the rest of the season.

I loved the episode too! Not only was it a great Tarlos episode, but there was so much other great stuff as well.

I completely get not liking the secret marriage jokes...they're not my favorite thing either. However, I've made my peace with them by considering TK's reaction to the secret marriage and just what we know about Carlos. First of all, Carlos is not a cruel person. If he thought these jokes were hurting TK, I don't believe for a second he would be making them. And from TK's reaction to the secret marriage, I have to come to the conclusion that he sees it as, at worst, a stressful situation that had to be overcome before he was able to marry Carlos. It doesn't appear that TK interpreted this situation as any kind of a betrayal by Carlos or that he felt as though Carlos had hurt him. In this last episode, he mentions it to Owen, but even then he says the divorce/annulment was never a question for them. From all that, I think it's obvious that TK sees the whole thing as a stressful situation he and Carlos got through together...which makes the jokes make a little more sense. Also, TK's reactions to the jokes themselves are more like "Ha, ha, you're very funny *eye roll*" rather than like he's being actually hurt or upset by them. This is absolutely not the way I would react to my partner revealing a secret marriage and then proceeding to joke about it, but it's the way TK is reacting and that makes it easier for me to deal with. That said, I wouldn't mind if they never joked about it again. Really, I wouldn't mind if they never brought the secret marriage up again! It does seem like they are pretty committed to making these jokes, though, so I won't be surprised if we get more of them. I agree with you that I'd prefer TK to be the one making them, as long as it was in a lighthearted manner and not a lashing out, hurtful jab kind of thing. If another secret marriage joke is inevitable, I hope it will be TK making it.

I am also very excited to see what comes next! I'm excited about the wedding, of course, but I'm also dying to see whatever episode Ronen has identified as the next "Top 5" Tarlos episode (we're going to hit at least 6 Top 5 episodes by the end of the season at this rate, lol). I'm guessing this next "Top 5" episode is probably 15 or 16.

My main wish is for there to be no more internal drama between TK and Carlos. I don't really want them fighting anymore now before the wedding. I want any conflict they deal with for the rest of the season to be external conflict they deal with together. I don't particularly want either of them to end up in the hospital either...at least not with a really serious injury. However, I do love angst and hurt/comfort, so if it was well done, I'm sure I could be won over!

In just 2 days it will be ONE MONTH until the finale! This season has gone by so quickly, and while I'm very excited to see how it all wraps up, I don't know if I'm ready for it to end and put me back in hiatus mode!!

[loverboyromanroy]

ok hi hope you don't mind a commentary but the ask you got made me think! i feel like roman and gerri’s storyline is a genuine addition to the main story, given how much she has been impacting his personal growth for the past two seasons. the show might be at a point where they could end their plotline but i honestly don’t think that’s going to happen! there’s a lot of room for development right now, their situation is pretty delicious and imo the writers are fools if they won’t focus even a little bit on roman and gerri’s changed dynamic. gerri’s not a family member but she offers that little outsider’s view to the whole mess despite being fully tangled in it herself too. gerri is also arguably a very popular character, not to mention the fact they already have approximately 1.5 female characters so it’d also be very dumb of them to not continue with the plot.

oh no please jump in! i totally agree with your points...and also thank you for reminding me of a point i meant to include in my last answer – gerri isn't family...but isn't she? she's shiv's godmother and she's arguably logan's most trusted ally (in rewatching season 1, the pilot is meant to make you give that title to frank but then they spend the rest of season 1 showing logan's reliance on gerri specifically – she's at his right-hand position during vote of no confidence, she's his spy and then surrogate at shiv's wedding, he literally likes and values her more than the other c-suite folks). i think that alone is enough to legitimize her as folded into the family when it comes to our central story...add in her very complicated relationship with roman in s2 & s3 and we do really have a lot of ground left to cover going forward 👀

also adding in a couple of relevant replies from that last ask:

@wonderpommey said: I think the only thing I heard was Kieran saying Jessee thought it could be interesting to have to have Roman be bi. They obviously followed the actors connection and embraced Roman and Gerri but pretty sure they want to go back to their original idea. that being said they’ve attached themselves to Roman and Gerri in a big way so doubt they can fully let it go. at least I hope not!

yes! that jumped out to me from the official succession podcast (on my main pre-sideblog 💀) and even at the time i found the way they decided that they couldn't have that be part of roman's whole thing like...a little dismissive? i was actually really glad they seemed to have circled back to it in season three (the trainer jerk off sessions anecdote coming back, the homoerotic bathroom scenes) and i hope they continue to peel back the layers of that part of his characterization in season four, especially given the way logan (and shiv and everyone) was hammering home his psychosexual problems in the last two episodes of season three.

@pinkmaned said: I read in an interview with Kieran that Tabitha’s job was basically corporate mentorship, but the scenes explaining that were cut. that gives me the feeling that they had planned for some of the beats of the Gerri arc to happen with Tabs, but with the chemistry between J. and Kieran I think they ended up giving it to Gerri.

oooh thank you for this tidbit! that makes a lot of sense for where season 1 ends with tabitha (his WILD marriage proposal after only knowing her for a week lol) and i could see in hindsight how they made that hand off in 2x03 (by having gerri step in and literally say "don't get your business advice from tabitha when i'm right here")...i did love tabs and thought she was a good and fun partner for roman, but god i can't imagine that season 2 storyline playing out with anyone other than gerri/j

[spaceorphan18]

99 Perspectives on a Single Love Story #78

A/N: The Story of Kurt and Blaine told through the eyes of everyone else but them. Each chapter is a different perspective in the ongoing tale of their love story.

I started something like this a while back - and now I’m taking the idea and really running with it. Each chapter is a ficlet of a different character at a different point in Kurt and Blaine’s life - documenting their love story. This starts in Audition, and each chapter will be paired with a different episode until reaching Dreams Come True.

[Ao3]

***

April Rhodes (100)

April Rhodes is feeling fine.  She’s finished up her bubbly, and giggling like a little school girl.  Who said coming back to your high school couldn’t be so fun? She’s happy that Will Schuester’s called her, and partying down with these students in the choir room has been an absolute de-light.  And, oof, if these boys aren’t cuter than they used to be.  Almost enough to give her a hot flush.  Ha! As if she’s old enough to have hot flashes.

Speaking of cuties, she spots Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson huddled together in the back of the choir room.  Their foreheads are touching, and they’re laughing with each other.  April can’t resist checking in on them - especially since they’ve kept mostly to themselves during the whole party.  Sweet little love birds.  She’s already given them a worthy present, but she can’t resist dropping in on them again.  

“Howdy boys, whatcha up to?” she says, bouncing up to where they’re sitting.  They both seem startled to see her.  She pinches their adorable cheeks. They both wince at her touch, but they’ll get over it.  She’s the fun aunt.   Or she would be if she had siblings.  “Thinking about how quickly you can sneak off to have some premarital sex?” She cackles at their awed faces.  “You know, once I about got pregnant in the janitor’s closet across the hall.  Scared me half to death.  Good for you that the two of you have two ying-yangs and no baby maker.  If I had one myself, I’d be having so much more sex.  Wouldn’t want to have the balls, though.  Don’t know how you guys sit with those things.”  

Neither of them speak, just remain their wide-eyed, innocent little selves.  April has always known how to leave men speechless.  She considers it one of her gifts in life.  She should really put that in her next resume.  Ha! Like she’ll ever get a real job.  

“You know,” she says, pushing right between them.  “If you kids were ten years older - I’d be propositioning you for a lovely evening, if you know what I mean.  I just want to smack those little tushes.  Oh goodness, did I say that or think it?” 

A bewildered Kurt answers her.  “Said it.” 

“Damn, still haven’t mastered using the inside head voice,” she laughs again.  Not helping herself, she grabs onto Kurt’s arm and gives it a bit of a squeeze.  “Ooh, feels like you’ve put those old magazines I gave you to good use - though I hope you used them for their intended purpose.” She gives a wink and a nudge to Kurt, who rolls his eyes.  

Blaine looks utterly confused.  “What is she talking about?” 

“Pretty sure she’s consistently too drunk to know,” Kurt replies.  

“Bah,” she waves her hand at him.  “Blaine, I’m disappointed that Kurt hasn’t shown you his secret stash of the porn.  Well, it’s like PG-porn, but still.  A kid has got to get started somewhere.  I’ll have to send more for your first anniversary.  Which reminds me - I need to bestow on you my three rules for having a good marriage.” 

Kurt raises an eyebrow at her.  “Have you even been married?” 

“No!” She laughs, and shakes her head, amused at herself.  Then looks over to Blaine.  “First rule, sweetie, you have to get this one to lighten up.  I recommend a really nice bottle of Chardonnay.  MMmmm, can’t go wrong with that.” 

“Really?” Blaine says with slight interest.  

“Don’t encourage her,” Kurt scolds.  Gah, she remembers when he was younger and a lot more fun.  

“Two,” she continues.  “One of you is going to have to make a lot of money, or you both will be straying to a couple of sugar daddies.  I mean, I’ve had plenty of loves in my life, but Buddy really was the best one.  He had money coming out his butt, and he didn’t mind just a hand job now.  I mean, hell, I only saw the guy once a week.  Which brings me to my third rule - separate houses.  They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.” 

Blaine looks fearfully to Kurt.  “This is sounding like terrible advice.” 

“Well, it’s not like people are coming in droves for my good advice, sweetie,” she says, pinching his cheek.  “If I’m being completely honest, I don’t miss Buddy all that much.  I’m free as a bird and preferring it that way.  Will Schuester says I don’t need a man, and even though I’ve always had one, maybe it’s time to really spread my wings.  Getting hitched makes for a nice moment in a scrapbook, but then you’re stuck with that person until divorce or death and neither one is pleasant. Listen to me go on like the sad, old broad that I am.   Oh god, I think the buzz is wearing off -- can I get back that hooch I gave you for a wedding present?” 

“No,” they say in unison. 

“Damn.  I’ll have to go grab the bottle I left back in that bush next to the entrance.  I’ll be right back…” 

[neokonewman]

Honestly? I think what tangled failed to do was make sure characters had good chemistry as friends. Seriously Cass and Rapunzel where like crude oil and the ocean. One single match from destruction. Season one is bottom barrel because it goes out of it's way to excuse Frederick for his shit. Season two was actually really good because Rapunzel was still herself and was making tough choices left and right. Season 3? Ohhhh boy. Season 3 was a half good half bad because while I do applaud her trying to bring her friend back into the fold? Cassandra wasn't wrong when she said "this has to stop now. This thing where you THINK you've been my friend". Cuz as far as I could tell? They were never friends. Hell even when being a slow burn villain, Varian had better friend chemistry with Rapunzel. When the show expects me to swallow "Cass and I are besties.and sisters!" whole sale? I'm not buying it.

Oooooh boy! This ask is just dripping with potential rant power. Sorry in advance for how long this answer is destinied to be!

First things first. I absolutely agree with you on how badly TTS handles chemistry amongst the main characters. Cass gets the worst of it because she is shoehorned as Rapunzel’s BFF off screen and suddenly she has equal sway on Rapunzel as Eugene? Her character can’t even be allowed to breathe most of the time because the show is obsessed with sticking her next to Rapunzel to the point that she can’t grow any further away from her. At least other show original characters like Lance and Varian have an actual introduction and a place in the world outside of Rapunzel, but even then they suffer because Rapunzel is upfront and center and there is very little wiggle room for interactions that don’t have at least have some involvement with her. It’s here where our opinions differ however.

I would make the bold claim by sayin that S1 of TTS is by far and away the best out of the three. Yes it has the glaring flaw of bias for Frederic and against Varian that makes me question whether or not it should be considered “good” but it’s much better balanced than the other two seasons that follow it. In S1 we actually get character who aren’t Rapunzel more chances to shine without her stealing the spotlight away at the last moment. In S1 we actually have an actual conflict that drives the story forward and at least pretends to care about developing the characters. Even the obnoxious bias could have still worked out in the shows favor if they were ever properly addressed in story and not swept under the rug like they were in later seasons. Heck, I would go as far as to argue that the worst parts of S1 is the fact that S2 and S3 make it worse retroactively.

S2 in my opinion is the dullest of the three, by a wide margin. With them never addressing what the mains left behind in S1 as well as taking the threat of the rocks away WAY too early, the conflict is particularly nonexistent. Not only that, but it does what I think is the worst thing a show can do during a season long journey. They never actually develop the world outside of Corona. They established that there are 6 other kingdoms in the alliance with Corona, but the most we get of any of them is the one throwaway line about them being close to the mountains of Koto in Freebird. Other than that we overstay in three separate places that end up being worthless to the plot as a whole. After spending three episodes in Vardaros right out the bat, we never return or what’s become of them afterwards. Them mains stranded on the Island is pretty dull and is only memorable to me because they had the guts of mentioning Varian again and established that Rapunzel STILL has an unhealthily delusional bias for Frederic despite of everything. The House of Yesterday’s tomorrow is just an excuse of shoehorning a bunch of magical hijink cliches that aren’t done very interesting. Heck, despite them spending a whole season getting to the Dark Kingdom, they only spend an episode and a half there and only a single night in universe. The rest of S2 is just filler that don’t even develop the characters or tell any interesting stories. Like, an enchanted forest episode even though the mid season finale takes place in another enchanted forest? A repeat of the first part of Tangled the movie with Cass replacing Eugene? Whatever the heck “Curses” was supposed to accomplish? The only thing interesting that S2 introduces is the Brotherhood, and we all know how little they are used afterwards.

I would also like to point out that at the start of S2, the mains just…. Stop developing almost entirely? Cass and Eugene never have any meaningful moments together like they do in S1, and are reduced to just taking potshots at each other to remind us that they have some sort of relationship. Lance is reduced strictly to comedic relief and in my opinion is just there to give Eugene something to do when he is removed from the plot because once again, the show is obsessed with making Rapunzel and Cass’ friendship be a thing that only matters. Hookfoot is just there to give his stand up routine about how marriage is terrible in the first episode of the season and just to exist afterwards, yet he SOMEHOW gets actual episodes focused on him while Lance suffers. Even characters properly introduced this season are cursed to never flesh out because Adira keeps pulling a vanishing act for no established reason, Hector is only gets any lines in his debut episode and never given any real focus again, and Edmund gets the same treatment as the other dads (except maybe Captain) by getting his entire character reduced to one trope later on in S3. Speaking of…

S3…. Ooooh boy S3. It’s not as boring as S2 for me, but that’s only because it’s a media equivalent of a train wreck that I couldn’t look away from. It’s like they took the two major issues of the past two seasons (the clear bias and shallow filler) and mashed them together while trying to savage it by inserting what worked in S1, (actual conflict) but completely missed the point why it worked in the first place. All pretense of caring about any other character other than Rapunzel and Cass is gone in this season. Even episodes that focus on anyone outside of Rapunzel, ends up ending with Rapunzel saving the day because she is the only one allowed to be heroic anymore.

They try to make Cass’ villain arc as complex as Varian’s but for some reason they think her blaming a literal baby for being kidnapped is enough grounds to go on a murder streak without one episode of hesitation. Lance is just there for bottom barrel dumb humor, yet the show thinks he is responsible enough to raise two kids on his own. Varian falls into the pigeon hole of just being the “kid character that hangs with the grown up mains” trope that he managed to avoid in S1 while also being just a plot device to not only give the mains access to tech, but also get shoehorned into scenes to keep the audience somewhat invested. Eugene is literal retconned in universe to be just a bland supportive boyfriend. Rapunzel, my gosh Rapunzel…. She treated is so painfully “perfect” to the point that she is completely unrelated. I’m not calling her a Mary Sue because they only ACT like she is perfect. She is still a hugely flawed human being, but the other characters just applaud her because she is “the magical, wonderous sundrop” and very little else. Also yes, Rapunzel being obsessed over Cass while playing off all the horrible actions her BFF as her being lost is the most frustrating thing ever. It’s as if she became Frederic from S1 and abandoned everyone else well being in favor of one person who doesn’t even want her attention, only worse because it’s made into a good thing. Again, S1 is made retroactively worse because of the seasons that follow it.

There is much more things wrong with S3 than S2, but honestly I find myself changing my mind a lot whether which one is objectively worse. Like making a show boring is arguably the worst thing you can do, but the choices, morals, and all around writing of S3 is just bad. Then again the writing in S2 is honestly pretty on par with S3 at times, so again, it’s a toss up.

Sorry again if this answer is a lot, but it was pretty fun at the same time. Thanks for the ask. ^^

[mardereads19]

Why the mentality of “Lucien is Elain’s mate so she has to at least give him a chance” is so wrong:

(I had to rewrite all of this twice because my internet is a bitch and it didn’t save correctly in my drafts 😭)

1. Elain was human so the mating bond means nothing to her.

Elain as a human only knew one thing: love was the catalyst for marriage and family. Humans don’t mate between themselves, they follow their emotions and then wed. At least that was going to be the case with Elain. She was going to marry because of love (that is what she believed in). The mating bond was not something she lived by. It was/is not sacred to her as it is to the Fae, because for her it wasn’t even a thing.

Forcing Elain to abide by the mating bond is as messed up as forcing a religion on someone. In fact, in Acotar it is said that the humans used to pray to long lost gods. The cauldron (a god-like entity for the Fae) was not even known to Feyre (humans) until she sees that mural in Tamlin’s library. So saying that Elain should respect the mating bond created by the cauldron enough to “at least” give Lucien a chance, is like forcing her to believe in something she had never planned to believe in in the first place. The mating bond for her is a Fae thing and though she is Fae now, ACOMAF tells us that Feyre has a human heart. So do her sisters.

2. It disregards her choice.

Like I established earlier, Elain believed that love and emotions were the crucial factors leading to marriage and family, but now out of nowhere the thing that leads to that is “fate”/the cauldron. Not her love, not her choice. She used to be so sure of who she wanted to be with and that was enough. For human Elain having loved and chosen someone was enough. Now she is predestined to be with someone. It is not her choice anymore.

Human Elain had chosen her beloved already: Greysen. He was everything she wanted. Even after the whole cauldron episode, she still wanted and chose him:

Even months after the war, just as her feelings towards Azriel began to become something other than friendly (in Acofas is when we first start seeing Elain get self-conscious and swallow nervously in his presence) Elain still loved Greysen and hoped to be with him:

She did not want a male, period, but she did not want the mating bond because it took away her choice of wanting Greysen. She also was still holding on to the hope of going back to being human (where perhaps that mating bond would have ceased to exist):

It was not Elain’s choice to become immortal and ethereally beautiful and to gain a mate. She was forced into these things and Lucien as her mate is simply a harsh reminder of this. For Elucien to work, it has to be her choice. She was robbed of it. In fact, let’s read the heartbreaking words Nesta herself said in Acosf:

Well, well, well... What an interesting choice (lol) of words. Nesta herself felt like she was losing part of who she was in accepting the mating bond. What makes Nessian different is the fact that Nesta chose Cassian before knowing he was her mate. She chose him for love. Would the story be any different if she had known before? I think it would. We read the argument that went down between them in Velaris and saw how she called in the bargain to get time to think things through before completely she obliterated Cassian with hate words. However, she already loved him, so she could move past it. Perhaps if she hadn’t loved him already, she would still be drinking and having seggs with strangers to push yet another unwanted truth into oblivion.

Feyssand was kind of similar. First, Feyre assimilated into Fae culture rather quickly and she loved Rhys before our King, the Suriel, spilled the tea. 

Neither of these sisters were surprised with a mate as soon as they turned.

Even now, the bond puts a stop on Elain choosing Azriel, which is something that she must overcome if Elriel is endgame as I strongly believe it will. Saying “Lucien is her mate so she must give him a chance” means it is not her choice to give him a chance. Let it be her choice. Let it be because she wants to.

3. Lucien does not know Elain.

Before you come at me with the “she doesn’t give him the time of day to know her,” let me tell you this: Azriel began to know and see Elain during the time when she was in a trance, the same time Lucien could have learned to see her as Az did. In fact, Lucien had a moment with her in the private library of the HoW, but he did not know how to help her. Listening (and not just to her speaking, but really listening and being open to let her know he cares what she says) would have been enough. The main difference between Lucien and Azriel is this: Lucien knew she needed help, Azriel helped her. An example of how Lucien doesn’t know her, but Azriel does is illustrated in the gifts each of the mates males give her and her reaction to them (I couldn’t add the gloves one, but you know that one by now):

4. Doing it for his happiness might promote her misery. 

The worst thing is reading “I want Lucien to be happy, so Elain should at least give him a chance.” What about her? Will she be happy in doing so? I am always grateful when I stumble upon an Elucien shipper who wants both of them to be happy. These people are real shippers and I celebrate them 😊. The ones who only care for him, not so much 😑. If she is miserable in the relationship, he is bound to notice and be miserable, too, at one point or another.

5. She is NOT interested.

Listen, Elain is simply not interested in Lucien. She has demonstrated that time and time again. Should a girl always have to have a reason to not entertain a boy’s affection? Can’t a girl simply say “no, thank you” because she wants to? In real life that is okay, but in Prythian it isn’t because they are mates and she needs a reason? Chile anyways, so…

Let’s pretend Eris was all nice and none morally-gray, and Morrigan turns out to be Eris’ mate. Are y’all going to be all like “she should give him a chance because they are mates”? No, because she is NOT romantically inclined towards males. Then the point stands. Because Mor is not interested romantically in males, she should not be upheld to giving Eris a chance. Since Elain is not romantically interested in Lucien, she should not be upheld to give him a chance. “But he is her mate...” 🙄😒 Let her do what she wants, jeez.

Disclaimer: I don’t hate Lucien whatsoever, I actually love his character, but these are some reasons why I hate the argument of “they are mates she should give him a chance.” I think that mentality is not okay. Literally. *feminism has left the chat*

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Episode 7

Their first vow together. So nice! I actually do like the parallels here between Lan Yi and Wei Wuxian, and Baoshan Sanren and Lan Wangji: you have one set being reckless and untamed (I said it) and the other set trying to restore order. It’s kind of funny that the ancestors are switched, though. So here we have Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji vowing to bring all the Yin Iron pieces back to the cold spring pond to neutralize them, and of course Lan Wangji’s first reaction is, “None of your business.” It’s cute how Lan Yi takes Wei Wuxian’s side and has a sense of pride for her close friend’s disciple. I think he’s an honorary Lan in her eyes.

And then Lan Yi gives them a warning to not make the same mistakes she made. Wei Wuxian’s like, “Yep, got it, I promise.” But we all know from the beginning that this obviously doesn’t go well for him, since he dies in the first five minutes of the series. He will go on to make some questionable decisions, most of which are driven by his emotions, which are often not in check. Side note: I love this series, but I don’t like how they took a great grey character like Wei Wuxian and turned him into a character where many of the things that went wrong were caused by other people.

Another side note. That fucking Yin Iron fell on the guqin so many times, and it didn’t dent it at all. Is the guqin made out of iron too? I thought it was wood. If I did that to my violin, I guarantee you the violin would not fare very well.

Forever a favorite moment. It was great enough that they were tied together by Lan Wangji’s headband, but even better that Wei Wuxian fell on him. So great—such a tease to the audience. And this is as close as we get to the scene in the book when Lan Wangji uses the body binding spell to keep Wei Wuxian on top of him all night (ooh, my heart skipped a beat when I read that).

Also, taking the screenshot, I noticed you can see the impression of the little metal piece from Lan Wangji’s headband. Little things like that interest me for some reason. I wonder if it bothered Wang Yibo—did it press too hard on his forehead? I remember him saying he’d get tan lines from the headband.

I love this little smirk he does. A moment when Wei Wuxian’s gift to gab really pays off. Instead of letting Lan Wangji talk and explain the situation, Wei Wuxian keeps speaking, lying about what they were doing. I’d like to think he does it in part to protect Lan Wangji and to stop him from breaking any of his clan rules, but likely it’s another chance for him to prove himself as someone Lan Wangji can trust. And I take Lan Wangji’s little acknowledgement of him there as his silent “thank you.” It says a lot, I think, that Wei Wuxian is willing to lie to Jiang Cheng in order to protect the Lan Clan’s secrets.

I’m sorry, but every time I hear Nie Huaisang say, “You were gone a whole day and night,” my mind immediately goes to the gutter—like the implication is that they were doing something inappropriate during that time. I keep expecting a sex joke, only to remind myself that this was on Chinese television and that would, of course, not happen. Jiang Cheng says a similar thing (and my mind goes the same way that time too), but in that case, canon book Jiang Cheng does later accuse them of having a more-than-friendly relationship, and he does not say it in a nice way.

Also, throughout the scene that precedes this, where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are discussing what to do next with Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen, it really feels like wangxian just want to go on a buddy road trip together, and they are so disappointed when they are turned down. Oh, I didn’t screencap it, but Lan Wangji has the saddest sad face at the end.

I think Lan Wangji is a little impressed here but he doesn’t want to admit it. Wei Wuxian has a great gift to come up with ridiculous stories and lies at the drop of a hat. I love that Wei Wuxian doesn’t have to come up with a scary snake story when he could have just told Nie Huaisang what he’d already told Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing, but he does anyway. Mad respect.

This also kind of amuses me because Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji can never really have a moment alone. They keep getting interrupted by other people when I think they just want to talk about what they experienced. Instead we just have all these shared glances. Nothing like a big fat secret to get close to each other, right?

Omfg Jiang Cheng is so jealous! I thought maybe I was imagining it or just projecting my own ideas onto him, but NO—he is jealous! He’s all like, “If you like Lan Wangji so much, why don’t you marry him?” I mean, that basically happened. I’ve gone on about this before, but I love the tension between Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, and the fact that it continues even after Wei Wuxian dies makes it even better. Jiang Cheng is so stubborn and continues to hold a grudge against Lan Wangji, and it bothers the fuck out of him that there’s someone out there devoted to Wei Wuxian, by whom Jiang Cheng feels so betrayed.

And, I mean, by this point, it’s already started. As soon as they get to the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian starts paying more attention to Lan Wangji than he does to either Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli. And Jiang Cheng likes to say, “You’re worrying my sister, you’re hurting my sister” when he really means, “You’re worrying me.” His stupid pride gets in the way of having a good relationship with Wei Wuxian. And I don’t think Wei Wuxian would ever put Lan Wangji above Jiang Cheng, who he considers his family—at least not at this point. It’s not until the second half that things switch, and really, even then, in the CQL-verse, the two are probably equal in Wei Wuxian’s mind. He backs off from Jiang Cheng due to Jiang Cheng’s attitude toward him.

Okay, Jiang Cheng’s jealousy aside, I love how steadfast and supportive Wei Wuxian is of him. As soon as he catches on that Jiang Cheng is jealous, he immediately starts trash-talking the Cloud Recesses and talking up Lotus Pier. It’s very cute, very sweet. He’s a good brother to him, really.

Now who’s jealous? Just kidding. I love his wistful expression here, as he watches them go off. Anyone who’s read the book knows that Lan Wangji does get jealous at times and certainly frustrated with Wei Wuxian’s coquettish behavior. I would say he is more longing at this moment, maybe even wanting to get closer to Wei Wuxian, without really understanding why himself. There’s such an isolation to his world: even though he’s surrounded by other disciples, he doesn’t have any friends. He’s maybe regretting how quickly he refused to the invitation to Lotus Pier. I think, on the one hand, Lan Wangji has found one person in this world who not only shares a secret with him, but who has similar goals—on the other hand, his code of ethics are all over the place. His heart and mind are conflicted: he wants to get closer, but he doesn’t want to make the wrong decision. To his Gusu Lan Clan mind, Wei Wuxian is all wrong, but his heart says otherwise. And I’m not saying he loves him already—but he is already seeing a kindred spirit in Wei Wuxian, someone who he can rely on, someone he can trust, someone who has his back, even if it means bending a few rules. And in a relationship, you have nothing if you don’t have trust.

I never noticed that they were communicating telepathically here. Or something. I dunno. I guess it’s not that clear.

Also if it feels like I’m ignoring all these parts with the Wen Clan, it’s because I am. I mean, not really, but this is all the Yin Iron stuff that I don’t really care about. And I’m not in the Xue Yang fan club either, so I’m not going to spend time on him until he’s actually in it in Yueyang (possibly) and Yi City. Actually, confession: I’ve never watched the Yi City flashback episodes. I read it, so I know it, but I never watched it hahaha. I will this time around. I made that pact with myself.

AWWW, HE SMILED!!!

Ahem, excuse me. This is too fucking cute, though. The rabbit lantern that Wei Wuxian drew just for him, his cute baby smile, and the Wei Wuxian pointing it out with a grin. Cuteness overload—my heart can’t take it.

But I also had a sad thought that if Wei Wuxian hadn’t come over, Lan Wangji would be sitting here alone. He’d make his lantern all on his own, send it off into the sky, say his own prayer to himself, and never hear Wei Wuxian’s, which likely sends Lan Wangji over the edge with his feelings. Everything he thought about Wei Wuxian was true, and maybe it’s okay to like him, maybe it’s okay to consider him a friend, maybe it’s okay to trust him that way.

Just a shot that I liked. Enjoy.

I feel so bad for Jiang Yanli here. I also feel bad for Jin Zixuan, even though he’s a complete dick. I understand how they both feel here—to be tied to someone you don’t know, from the time you were small children is incredibly unfair in my eyes. That being said, I know this still happens in other parts of the world, and it’s implied that it’s common in our CQL/MDZS world (which would make sense, of course). I like the feeling of siding with Wei Wuxian, wanting to come to Jiang Yanli’s defense and protect her honor, while also still having an understanding of how Jin Zixuan must feel about the whole thing. His choice has been completely taken away. And he’s, what, 17 here? What 17-year-old boy wants to be reminded constantly about how he’s already engaged? It’s not typically a young man’s dream to settle down and get married—not that it can’t be! But the implication here, with all the girls tittering about it, is that they’re all excited about marriage, and he wants nothing to do with it. Of course, Jiang Yanli isn’t either. I think she really just wants to get to know him and spend time with him, before even thinking about marrying him.

Ah, a momentous occasion: the first time Lan Wangji tries to stop Wei Wuxian from getting himself into trouble (not counting the first time they met, when he was literally trying to police him while breaking Cloud Recesses rules). I like this shot, because you have Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji on either side of Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Yanli in the front, literally putting her body between him and Jin Zixuan (actually this parallels her final scene). It kind of shows the depths of their relationships (or at least what the director wants to show us). You have Lan Wangji, who grabs onto Wei Wuxian to try to stop him from further brawling; Jiang Cheng, who stands beside him, but isn’t really involved otherwise—standoffish, in a way; and then Jiang Yanli, who physically gets in the way. She’s the quintessential big sister. And I’m not saying Jiang Cheng doesn’t care—he does, but I think his first thought always has to do with the honor of the Jiang Clan and, while he’s standing beside Wei Wuxian, it’s almost as if he doesn’t want to show any involvement with this brawl, because that would look bad.

Ah, the old dudes meeting, while Jiang Cheng stands off to the side awkwardly, wondering if he should be there or not. At the outset, this meeting to decide their children’s future seemed kind of bad, but it actually turned out nice, with them agreeing to call off the engagement. Very progressive, I thought.

Two things I learned in this scene: Wei Wuxian doesn’t want to marry a woman and he doesn’t want to leave the Cloud Recesses yet (TL: he doesn’t want to leave Lan Wangji). He seriously looks so disappointed when she says they’re going home soon.

This feels like a mixture of “I’m worried about you” and “I don’t want to be left out.” We already know at this point that Wei Wuxian doesn’t want to leave the Cloud Recesses (more that he doesn’t want to leave Lan Wangji, because he doesn’t like all of the rules, obviously). He also is very interested in what’s happening with the Yin Iron, as he has also vowed to protect it with Lan Wangji. He is very perceptive—he knows something is happening, that Lan Wangji is going to go off on his own, and he wants to go with. It’s kind of hard to say if this is more out of duty or his adventurous spirit, but either way, he wants to help Lan Wangji.

“After his leave, things will be as quiet here as before.”

Look at how sad he is! The only person he considers a friend has just left, and at this point, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever see him again. It’s possible, sure, but then only at clan gatherings, and that’s if Wei Wuxian and Lang Wangji even happen to attend the same one. I believe we know from the book that Lan Wangji doesn’t typically attend gatherings (when he’s older), he often skips them. And Wei Wuxian isn’t necessarily important enough to even be invited, so he would have to be a guest of Jiang Cheng. Obviously we all know that they do go to gatherings and see each other again, but this is what I’d be thinking if I were Lan Wangji, okay? Like, when am I going to see him again? Will I ever see him again?

I leave you with a wholesome picture of Wei Wuxian and a rabbit. Also adorable that he contemplates bringing the bunnies back to Lotus Pier, but doesn’t because Lan Wangji might get lonely. MY HEART!

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

[skullsandwineglasses]

Awu - A coping character

Like a lot of people, my immediate reaction after watching episodes 59-63 was dissatisfaction and frustration. It seemed like Awu was a passive character. I still think she is passive, but that’s not necessarily a flaw or something that we should fault her about. This is going to be a helluva long post, but let me try to explain. 

Awu is what you would call a “coping” character. She copes with obstacles thrown at her. She reacts to the machinations that blow up around her. She doesn’t really strive for things, except for probably general happiness. In the trailers, you hear her say in the voiceover, “I just want to be with the one I love”. Awu is a romantic. We saw this when she was young and crushing on Zi Tan and how she begged the emperor to grant her the wish of marrying for love. When she is a married woman, we see her wanting to start a family with Xiao Qi. We see her actively seek out ways to boost her health so that she can bear a child. Her ultimate goal is to find true love and have a family. 

In a way, she reminds me of the Mandalorian. There’s a meme that says that even though the Mandalorian is the main character that the audience follows, in the grand scheme of things, the Mandalorian is actually just a side character among a group of main characters. The Mandalorian doesn’t strive for much. He just wants to be a Space Dad (TM) to Baby Yoda and to find a jedi to train his adopted child, and he has absolutely no interest in the politics in the galaxy. But, he’s always unwillingly thrust into politically-charged situations by these “main” characters around him who have their own political missions. 

As a princess, Awu is the center of attention. Everyone dotes on her. But she isn’t a key player in the palace politics at all. She has no desire to be apart of it, even though everyone tries to pull her into it: Daddy Wang trying to force her into an military-advantageous marriage, her Empress aunt trying to get her to marry her son the crown prince, and then her Emperor uncle using her to help protect his will. Everyone has their own political agenda that each would have long-lasting consequences to the empire, but all Awu wants is to live happily ever after with the person she loves. This goal of hers never changes throughout the drama, which I admire. Even up to episode 63, she’s asking Xiao Qi to let go of vengeance and leave the capital with her to go live up north like they’ve always dreamed and planned together. While I don’t really agree with her asking XQ to give up vengeance, I completely understand why she asks him. 

Among a cast of characters who are constantly planning and scheming, even Xiao Qi now with his drive for justice and vengeance, it almost feels like Awu doesn’t belong, and I think this difference between her and the people around her is why it can seem frustrating to some viewers. We project our emotions onto her and expect her to react as we would. We expect her to act like how we think we would act in that situation. But Awu has always been different from the people around her. I don’t think she’s ever really been in-sync with any character expect maybe for her mom, her maids (Jin’er doesn’t count), and Xiao Qi. So now that her and XQ are slightly out of sync in terms of their attitudes, we’re feeling a little on edge. 

I think many would agree that Awu is a smart character, but she doesn’t scheme. And again, that’s because she’s a simple young woman, so we can’t expect her to scheme since she’s never had to. She’s never had to scheme to survive. Even when her whole family schemes, they always think about sparring her because of how much they loved her in the past. People complain about her being the last one to find out about things, but that’s because she doesn’t really involve herself in matters outside the house. She always thinks the best of people and so she never suspects them. She’s saintly to a fault. In a way, Awu is a very idealistic character, but also a resilient one since she’s able to remain true to her original nature even after witnessing the worst of her family. I admit, this was a little hard to buy at first, which was why I was frustrated with her, and her character isn’t everyone’s cup of tea because it’s a really Mary Sue kind of character, but after having cooled down these past few days, I’ve learned to respect her. With all the cunning and ruthless female leads recently, it’s nice to see a female lead who stays true to herself even after facing adversity, instead of becoming hardened and jaded and cynical. I feel like we hate on these kinds of FLs too much, kind of like how everyone hated Bella from Twilight back in 2010. I secretly really liked Bella and related to her when I was a teen, but I boarded on the hate-bandwagon because everyone else hated her. 

BUT, I think what’s causing all the backlash is what people expected Awu to become based on how she was set up from the beginning. It almost feels like the writers couldn’t decide if they want her to be brash and rebellious, or loyal and true to the times. So we end up with a confusing combination of both, and different viewers end up having different expectations of what they want her character to be, hence all the disagreements about how to interpret her actions and decisions.

At the beginning, we’re introduced to a sheltered, loved, and carefree young woman of noble blood. Awu is then forced to marry a man she hardly knows, her lover won’t elope with her, and her husband leaves her on her wedding night. This is her first major turning point, and we see an immediate change in her. She matures overnight. She seems to have lost her carefree innocence. She isn’t as bubbly as before. 

Because we see this major change in her character so early on in the drama, this is what we expect to continue moving forward for her character, and that she’s going to keep being molded in this way by life-changing events.

She’s then captured by Helan Zhen and has to try to survive, and she does this very well when you consider her sheltered and noble upbringing. In fact, a lot of the things that Awu does in the drama are out of line with her upbringing. She supports the Emperor’s decision to grant XQ, a peasant-born general, the ranking of a prince. She is able to adapt to the rough lifestyle in Ning Shuo. She’s able to whistle like a bandit, much to Xiao Qi’s surprise. And when you think about it, you begin to wonder, where did Awu learn to whistle and ride a horse like that? Who snuck her out of the prime minister’s manor in order to teach her these things? I doubt it was her brother or the princes, considering how useless and misogynistic they are. Her grandmother taught her politics and the arts, which helped her become worldly and cultured, but she didn’t teach Awu what a peasant’s lifestyle is like. So it’s actually a huge surprise that the spoiled daughter of a princess is able to fall in love with a low-born general and feel safe and at ease with him so quickly and easily. We’re briefly told that Awu likes selfless heroes, and so that’s our explanation for why she was able to fall for Xiao Qi. But to me, I think her falling in love with Xiao Qi is another example of how Awu is able to cope with the circumstances. 

When Xiao Qi rescues her and takes her back to Ning Shuo, she’s resistant towards him. She seems defeated. Lifeless. We think her time in captivity with Helan has induced another permanent change in her. When Xiao Qi opens the window to let some fresh air in, she calls hims “cu lu” ( 粗鲁), which means rough. It’s something you say when you insult someone for being inelegant, thoughtless, and rude. She scorns the women’s taste of clothing in Ning Shuo, and is surprised when she learns that XQ, along with the rest of the army, only showers once a month because of the lack of hot water. 

BUT, what begins to change Awu’s mind so quickly is seeing how righteous and devoted Xiao Qi is. She sees him as a good marriage partner. Her situation could have been a lot worse. After all, after seeing how unhappy her mother, the Empress, and Wanru were in their marriages, Awu expected a similar situation with her own arranged marriage. But instead, she quickly realizes what a lucky hand she’s been dealt, so she accepts XQ and lets herself fall for him. She doesn’t really have a choice anyway, so she embraces it. I especially love the scene during the siege when she tells Zi Tan that she fell in love with Xiao Qi because of his heroism and his selflessness towards the empire, while she now looks down on Zi Tan. If only Xiao Qi were there to hear her confess her love to him so vehemently. 

In Ning Shuo, we see Awu begin to soften towards Xiao Qi. She becomes her old carefree self again around him. THIS is something that deviates from most coming-of-age stories that feature a female lead who is irreversibly changed by a traumatic life event. Awu returning to her normal, positive self instead of being jaded foreshadows how her character will behave for the rest of the drama. Yes, Awu doesn’t “grow” like other female characters, but she stays consistent and optimistic, which is a virtue in itself because it reflects her resilience. 

When Awu is separated from Xiao Qi and has to protect a city against a siege by her uncle, we see her rise up to the challenge on her own. We see her command an army. We see her stand up to Zi Tan. She shows potential of becoming a “rebel princess”, which again raises our expectations that she’ll become more involved in politics. But at the same time, she’s still a young woman who likes to cuddle with her husband and be doted on by him when he returns. This is the Awu that we’ve known from the beginning. She’s used to be doted on by people who love her. What we have to remember from this siege arc is that while Awu showed great leadership skills, this is not who she wants to be. She CAN be this person, but she doesn’t want to be. The drama subtly reminds us of this when Xiao Qi comes back and she melts into his arms. 

This aspect of her character is echoed again in episode 36 when she and Xiao Qi are cuddling in their signature corner of the manor. She says that she doesn’t seem to have to worry about anything when he’s around. XQ teases her about what she would do while he’s gone at war. She tells him that she can face anything on her own when he’s not there, but when he is here, all she wants to do is rely on him. 

We tend to forget that Awu likes to be doted on (e.g., remember all those moments throughout the beginning of the drama where she likes to lie in people’s laps. See this post.) This was how she grew up. Loved and spoiled. But Awu CAN be strong. She’s perfectly capable of being strong. That’s why the Emperor trusted her with his will. That’s why Wanru and Zilong trusted her with their child aka the future of the empire. But, she doesn’t want to be this person who has suddenly become the pillar of the empire. She wants to live a simple life. That’s why she sounds so somber when she talks to Nanny Xu about the meaning behind “Mu Yi Tian Xia”, and her duty as the wife of a general and the descendant of royals to unite the commoners with the blue bloods. It’s a tall order, but she’s willing to take on that responsibility for the good of the empire. Again, this shows that Awu is a reactionary character who copes with turmoil that comes at her, but that’s because she’s taking on goals that she didn’t want or ask for in the first place. She has an entirely different set of goals. She dreams of living out another story. But instead, she’s born into this one. 

After the siege, Awu’s next major turning points involve her family, and I think this is where it becomes divisive. She finds out about her Emperor Uncle having tried to have her and XQ killed, her cousin trying to steal the throne, her Empress Aunt trying to burn the Emperor’s will, her father trying to stage a coup, her mother killing herself as a result, and her having a miscarriage. In the end, she forgives everyone even after having seen the worst of them. Even after realizing that they’d sacrifice her for power. This is all understandable, even if saintly of her. These are the people who raised her, so I get why she would forgive them. Awu values family (to a fault). It’s not in her nature to abandon family, especially given how close she is to them. They helped shaped who she grew up to be. She lived a happy childhood with them. She’s never known abuse. Heck, even when they betray her, like the Emperor, they apologize to her soon after. Everyone seems to want to appease her. Even the Empress after all she’s done. Can you blame Awu for not having it in her to hate people? As rotten as her family is, they always try to spare her, and they only target her as a reluctant, last resort (even though they all want her husband killed though. It’s weird how they justify loving her, but still think it’s okay to kill her husband). 

Awu does make some questionable decisions and judgments though, and I feel like she thinks of Xiao Qi too idealistically and takes him for granted, which can sometimes be unfair to him. 

Case 1 is when she goes out of her way to help Qian’er and meets with Helan Zhen in secret and then dances with him. Like what many people have said, they feel angry that she danced with HZ before her own husband. And when Xiao Qi expresses anger and concern over her meeting with HZ, she insults him by saying he lacks a sense of familial duty since she doesn’t have a proper family or clan. This was a low-blow, but I excused it since it was in the heat of the moment. 

Case 2 is the aphrodisiac incident. I think this is when Awu realizes that she hasn’t been considerate enough of Xiao Qi. When she learns that Xiao Qi was the victim in the situation, she immediately defended him and cast out Qian’er. However, up until this point, Awu has always taken Qian’er’s side against him. There’s no doubt that Awu loves and appreciates Xiao Qi, but it sometimes feels like she forgets how much he does for her and how tolerant he is of her family. Xiao Qi, an undefeated general and god of war, is nearly assaulted at the hands of his wife’s cousin because his wife has a big heart and let the predator into the house. Awu has always seen Xiao Qi has invincible, but this was the moment when she realizes that he can be broken, and she can be the cause of it. 

Case 3 is what everyone’s been talking about recently, which is how she is reacting to Xiao Qi’s rage towards his betrayed fallen soldiers. While I understand that Awu is stuck in the middle, it also feels like she’s prioritizing her family over his feelings. She knows that Xiao Qi is angry, and yet she asks him to leave with her. She has the expectation that he will listen to her. She’s (quietly) making him choose between her and his army, which is unfair, even if she’s doing it for his own good. Do I agree with what she’s doing? Not really. But do I sympathize with her motivations? Yes. It’s taken me a couple of days, but I think I now understand. 

Xiao Qi definitely has flaws too (e.g., the contraceptive fiasco). They both keep secrets from each other and try to make decisions for each other. Two sides of the same coin. Ugh, these two frustrate me so much, but I still love them so much. 

Overall, people are expecting Awu to be one type of character, but they ignore how the drama’s been characterizing her. We can agree or disagree with her character’s development, but when you break it down, Awu’s character makes sense and is actually quite consistent, which is surprising for a 68-episode drama. Usually characters take a 180-degree turn after being drawn out for so long, but Awu has stayed true, for better or for worse. Do I still get frustrated at her sometimes? Of course. But, I can sympathize with her. 

Rant over. 

[thedefinitionofendgame]

I Love You, Baby

Sullivan X Andy one-shot | Rated M | Canonverse

A/N: Amidst my Surrera breakdown tonight after reading the episode synopsis for 4x16, I wrote this to settle my heart rate. I have no idea how the Station 19 finale will go, but hints about a Surrera baby are running wild, so this fic inspired by those and everything else *Rated M for non-explicit sex/TW regarding the mention of George Floyd’s death (briefly)*

•

You can read this work on ao3 and fanfiction.net as well

Written & cover by @thedefinitionofendgame (aka me)

The cover is split between 3 different sections, just because :)

Alarms blared and sirens wailed but Lieutenant Andy Herrera heard none of them. Her thoughts were too crowded with her husband’s voice. No, not the way he whispered sweet nothings against her skin in the early mornings or the outrageously sexy way his voice deepened when he fought with her over control in the bedroom. Instead, it was the things he had told her over the last few months when the whole world had flipped upside down. The coronavirus started which put enough strain on a marriage alone. Then Andy’s husband, Robert, and a member of her Station 19 family, Dean, had wound up in jail mainly due to the colour of their skin. Robert had even had a gun pointed at his head, as he rushed to his wife who had been shoved to the ground. Less than two months later, a man across the country had died claiming he couldn’t breathe, filmed for the whole world to witness and make opinions about. None of it made sense to Andy, but then again she didn’t see things in the same way she had just half a year ago before she married her husband.

She loved his eyes. They were kind and held so much emotion. She loved the way his hands held her face when his lips brushed hers, no matter how gentle or rough their kiss was. His firefighter-status fitness level was a definite bonus; his hands were way larger than her own but she liked that they fit around hers like a glove. These were just some of the physical features she loved about her husband. Not once did she think about the colour of his skin and how that affected her love for him. It simply didn’t, at least not in a negative way. Robert was her husband; the colour of his skin never made any difference to her one way or another. Until it did matter, although not in a bad way. Suddenly, he was a target and Andy was thrust into a world that didn’t see a kind and dedicated man when they looked at Robert Sullivan. They saw someone that Andy would never compare to her husband, all for the colour of his skin.

Our marriage is the only good thing in my life, he had told her. The only good thing was her. They both had no one else, no parents or siblings. Sure, they had Station 19 who were basically family and Andy’s aunt, uncle and cousin. But in terms of immediate family, it was just them. Robert’s comment had left Andy’s head turning. Maybe it was the truth in his words, maybe it was the desperation he had said them to her in. Maybe it was because Andy wanted more than just their marriage to be good in his life. And maybe it was a little bit of all three.

Whatever it was, Andy was sure the problems couldn’t be fixed with what she had in mind. Although her idea wasn’t rational, it was the only thing she could think of. Robert and her had talked about the prospect of it before but it hadn’t gotten farther than that. The question remained whether or not it would break them up or make them stronger. At this point, Andy wasn’t ready to find out.

Yet somewhere in the universe, a light shone. A spark was lit, a flame caught on and from there, it was an inferno. One thing led to another and soon a giant ball of fire was heading for the only good thing in Robert (and Andy’s) life. It was only a matter of time before it crashed into them, leaving nothing but a mist of smoke behind.

“Hey, are you okay?” Robert’s concerned murmur washed over Andy, as she slid back into bed next to her husband.

Andy nodded, desperate to feel the warmth of his skin against hers again. The early-morning air was cold and the firefighter wasn’t ready to get up yet. “Just had to use the bathroom.”

“Mhm.” An arm wrapped around her shoulders, making Andy feel safe. Home was wherever Robert’s embrace was. “Some long trip to the bathroom you took. Also did I hear you throwing up?”

Andy’s heart thumped in her chest. “No, why did you think that?”

“Thought I heard it. If you didn’t, it’s fine. Just wanted to check,” Robert pressed a kiss to his wife’s forehead. “We have ten more minutes until the alarm goes,” he informed her.

“So kiss me.” Andy’s reply was quiet but Robert reacted immediately. His lips moved from her forehead to her eyelids, her cheeks, her nose and landed softly on her lips. Andy shifted so that she was more upright, and Robert’s hands moved to cup her face. The kiss deepened, and the sheets soon ended up on the unoccupied side of the mattress.

Morning sex was something Andy hadn’t really indulged in during her hookups with Jack and Ryan. Sure, it was a better way to wake up than turning over and hitting snooze on the alarm but she was mostly concerned about not getting caught by her father or anyone else at the station.

The alarm blared, interrupting the couple’s post-orgasmic bliss. With a sigh, Andy pushed away from Robert and threw on his discarded Station 19 shirt from the night before. “Cereal good for you? I’m not in the mood for French toast which is the-”

“Only thing you know how to make for breakfast, I know.” Leaning back against the headboard. Robert put his hands behind his head and smiled at her. “You tell me every morning.”

“Hey, I’m just reminding you what you signed up for when you married me.” She threw on yesterday’s jeans (her own this time), leaving the room.

“I married you for other reasons besides my breakfast options!” Robert shouted after her. He heard her infectious giggle from the stairs, which made his smile stretch even wider. Andy was going to be the death of him, but he would happily go if it meant the last thing he saw was her. The thought was cheesy, Robert knew, yet that was the state the ex-battalion chief was constantly in around his wife. She brought out a completely different side of him that had been hiding for the years between his first wife’s death and him coming to Station 19.

His first wife was probably watching from whatever afterlife she was in, happy for him. A day didn’t go by that Robert didn’t miss Claire, but he knew she would want him to find happiness again. Lucky for him, Andy was the woman he never expected to fall in love with and he did anyways. He was a very fortunate man to get two loves of his life.

After stretching, Robert rolled out of bed and trekked to the bathroom. Water was splashed all over the counter, which made him shake his head. While his wife kept a fairly clean locker at the station, their bathroom had no idea. He grabbed a small towel off the rack and mopped up the small puddles, then turned on the shower. Taking less than two minutes to get clean, Robert had a towel wrapped around his waist and was brushing his teeth while observing himself in the mirror. Clearly all the workouts he had been doing recently to deal with the emotions he had been feeling were helping tone his figure. Raising an eyebrow at himself in the mirror, Robert let out a laugh. He felt a bit stupid, so he quickly turned off the light, rinsed his mouth in the sink and went to change for the day.

A pair of Andy’s socks showed up in Robert’s drawer, so he opened up her side of the closet to put them away. But before he could move, something solid caught his eye amongst the squishy socks. He was about to investigate, then realized it wasn’t his. It was Andy’s and if he looked, it would be invading her privacy. So he closed the drawer and went back to putting on his own clothes. Yet Robert’s curiosity was piqued and the wheels in his head were already turning with possibilities. A surprise for him, perhaps. Or many it was a female-related object, one that she clearly didn’t want him to know about. Or maybe it was a- “Hey Andy, do you own a vibrator?” The question escaped Robert’s lips before he could stop himself.

Robert had never seen his wife appear in their bedroom so fast. “Robert, what on Earth have you been doing in here?” She asks, alarm lighting up her face.

Feeling like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Robert admitted to what he had seen in Andy’s sock drawer. “Do you own a vibrator?” He repeated, once he had recounted his story to his wife.

Andy let out a huff of laughter, as she turned towards Robert. “Um, I did, before I married you. But it’s long gone, so don’t worry you don’t have any need to get your feather’s ruffled.” She crossed her arms. “Would you have been mad if I did own one?”

“No way, I would’ve suggested we use it to spice up our sex lives even more,” Robert told her.

Andy smacked her husband’s arm, before turning to leave the room again. “You need to get dressed because we gotta go in like fifteen minutes. I got out the cereal.”

“Okay, thanks.” Robert listened to his wife, and joined her in the kitchen for coffee moments later. He offered her the coffee pot, but she shook her head. It surprised Robert as Andy wasn’t one to skip out on caffeine.

Andy could tell her husband was starting to get a bit suspicious, so she made her exit. “Gonna change, then we can go,” she said in a rush, then jogged up the stairs to their bedroom again.

Shutting the door behind her, Andy leaned against it, before sliding to the floor. It was getting a little exhausting trying to keep their teeny tiny surprise a secret, especially from her husband. Not that she wanted to be keeping secrets, but this one was too big to tell him yet. Andy wasn’t ready for him to know. Unfortunately, keeping it from him went against the main slogan of their marriage: no more secrets. Robert had told her that on many occasions, always with a kiss on her lips following. This was an exception, or at least that’s what Andy told herself to make her feel better.

The young woman shed her clothes and put on clean ones, then grabbed her purse and a pair of socks. She turned the hidden object over in her hand once, before slipping it back and smiling to herself. “Baby, you ready to go?”

“Yep, and I have coffee for you to go,” Robert handed Andy the travel mug, which she dutifully took. Hopefully she’d be able to pour the contents down the sink when her husband wasn’t looking.

They got in the car and drove to work. The streets were pretty empty, as it was barely six-thirty a-m. Andy silently prayed people would stay safe today, making their job easier but also keep people living. It also meant Andy wasn’t taking big risks, something she knew she should avoid for the foreseeable future. Robert didn’t think anything was different, as he reached across the center console to take Andy’s hand. She smiled at him, and he pressed his lips to her fingers. They were stupidly in love without a care in the world.

Once they reached the station, the couple changed into their work attire and headed up to the kitchen for their second breakfast. Andy realized she conveniently forgot the travel mug of coffee in the car, and sighed with relief. Except the second they came around the corner, Ben was offering a second coffee to Robert, and extended it to Andy.

“I’m good, thanks Warren,” she said, avoiding Robert’s gaze and scurrying to sit with Maya and Vic at the table. “Hey guys.”

“Hey Andy,” Vic greeted her.

“We were just talking about Pru’s recent development in mobility,” Maya explained.

Babies, Andy thought, I can talk about that. “Is she still doing the butt-scootch thing?”

Vic nodded. “Yep. Dean’s been trying to get her to take a few steps because she’s more than ready. But she’s a stubborn girl.”

It would be awhile longer, but teaching a child to walk was something that thrilled Andy. “I can’t wait for that,” Andy accidentally burst out, before catching herself. “I mean, I can’t wait for Pru to start walking.”

“Same.” Learning back, Vic looked like a proud mother, despite the fact that Pru wasn’t her kid.

Maya waited a second longer, before pushing her chair back as the rest of the A-crew took a seat. “Okay, Montgomery and Herrera, you two are on aid car today. The rest of you guys, make sure the truck’s in tip-top shape.”

After a chorus of ‘yes-es’, the team spread out. Andy and Travis were called to a house regarding someone who choked on a piece of sausage (the Heimlich was performed swiftly and effectively), while the rest of the firefighters were sentenced to putting out a warehouse fire. A machine had caught a spark, which spread to all the wood materials lighting on fire. Not a great combination, yet Station 19 was prepared and managed to evacuate everyone in record time. Maya commanded the radio outside, as Vic, Robert, Jack and Dean did a final sweep. The aid care, with Andy and Travis inside, pulled up just as Maya was about to call her firefighters back. No one was hurt, but it was good to have the care on standby just in case.

The radio crackled, and Vic’s voice rang out. “There’s one more person in here! They’re trapped under a wooden shelf.” Static, then there was a muffled noise, before a shout could be heard. “Dammit!”

Instantly Maya had the radio switched on. “What happened?”

“The fire just lit up the entire back wall,” Vic reported. Andy’s heart beat loudly in her chest, as she feared for her fellow firefighters’ lives, and most of all her husband’s.

“Get the person stable, and then get out,” Maya ordered. “Gibson, Miller, what’s the status on the exit?”

“Clear. The direct path has nothing structural that could fall. But the smoke is thick. We need to start putting out the fire in the main area or else it has the potential to block off where we need to go,” Jack reported.

“Okay, good. Get out and you can help the other stations spray from the windows.” The warehouse luckily had a bunch of windows, which made access to the fire easier. Maya had had the windows smashed in earlier.

“Copy that.” Jack’s radio went muffled for a moment, then two doors opened at the side of the building. “Hey Herrera, Montgomery, nice of you to join us,” Jack said with a laugh. Travis nodded hello while Andy didn’t even look in Jack’s direction. She was too focused on whatever fate her husband had. Recently her emotions and hormones had been all over the place, leaving her wanting to cry one moment and incredibly turned on the next. Right now though, Andy was scared for her husband’s life.

“We got them!” This time it was Robert’s voice on the radio. “Heading for the exit.”

The seconds ticked away as everyone who wasn’t spraying water at the fire, had their eyes on the double doors where they expected Vic and Robert to emerge from. Maya was worried, and turned on the radio again. “Sullivan and Hughes, where are you guys?”

The only answer was static. Andy thought she head a shout but it was too muffled to tell. Then one door pushed open, and she rushed towards it. Vic called out, “Help me grab the guy!”

Andy held open the door as Vic stumbled through it towing a man behind her. She coughed loudly, as the smoke was incredibly thick. Robert was nowhere to be found.

While Travis did his job and checked over the man, Andy turned to Vic. “Where’s Sullivan?” She asked, remembering to use her husband’s proper title since they were at work.

Vic didn’t answer her. Instead she spun around and fixed her helmet back on her head. “I’m going back in there,” she said.

“No you aren’t.” Maya stopped her.

There was panic in Vic’s eyes. “Sullivan is still in there. A huge beam came down just as I was rounding the corner to the exit. Sullivan jumped back just in time, but we were separated. The smoke is so bad, and I had the guy with me. I could see the exit, so I thought I could just drop him off and the go back for Sullivan.”

“You left him?” Andy whirled on Vic.

“No, I couldn’t get to him. I had a civilian and I told him I’d go back. I have to go back,” Vic repeated to Maya.

“No. No one is going back in there.” Maya stated firmly. She picked up her radio and said, “Sullivan, do you copy?”

There was nothing, except for Vic’s voice apologizing. “I’m so sorry, I just couldn’t reach him and I had the civilian and-”

“Nothing. You made the call and it was what was necessary.” Maya attempted to contact Robert via the radio again, with no luck.

Suddenly, there was a huge crash and a section of the warehouse roof began to cave in. Andy watched in horror as smoke billowed out into the sky and there continued to be no response from the radio. “ROBERT!” A scream left Andy’s throat as she lunged herself towards the doors her husband was still trapped behind. Much to her dismay, both Maya and Vic lunged after her, stopping her from charging in after him. She struggled against the women but soon gave up. “Somebody do something!”

Maya shook her head sadly. “It’s up to him to get out, I can’t risk another firefighter. Andy, he’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that!” Andy was practically in hysterics, which wasn’t like her at all. She was normally pretty put together, even when his life had been in danger before.

Jack came over and looked Andy right in the eyes. “I know he’ll make it out to you. He’s been a firefighter for a long time, and will be fine. Trust him.”

“Okay.” Andy’s voice was small as she nodded. Jack gave her shoulder a reassuring pat, then stood off to the side. He was worried about his friend because she was rarely this emotional while on a call. Sure, she had broken down from time to time, but it was rare for to lose it at the scene. Maybe she and her husband-it was still weird to say that after almost a whole year-had had a fight beforehand, and she didn’t get the chance to work things out.

Water continued to rain down on the building but the radio remained silent. Maya tried over and over to reach Robert with no response. The panic was just starting to settle in, when someone shouted that they saw movement through one of the broken windows.

Inside the building the air was thickening with smoke and Robert was losing air fast. But he had someone to fight for, well two someones actually. He was not about to leave his wife the way his first wife had left him. Claire’s death had almost killed him, and he would do whatever he could to save Andy from losing someone else. Up ahead, Robert saw the exit that separated him from the love of his life. With a last surge of strength, Robert burst open the doors and stumbled a short distance before he fell to the concrete. Cold, fresh air filled his lungs as he took in gasping breaths. He looked up and saw that the sky above him wasn’t smoke but clear and blue with the sun shining too. I’m safe, he thought. I’m safe and I'm alive.

Seconds later, two figures reached him. One was Travis, thrusting an oxygen mask into his hands for him to put on, and the other was his wife. Her arms engulfed him in a hug, and she practically lay on top of him on the ground. At first, Robert thought she was just happy to see him alive and well, then he felt her shaking in his lap. “I’m safe, it’s okay,” he told her, pulling back slightly so he could wipe the tears from her eyes.

“I thought I lost you,” Andy told him, as she pressed the oxygen mask to his face. Travis stepped back and gave them a few feet of space, as the rest of the group worked to spray the flames.

“You’ll never lose me, I’m too stubborn to die,” Robert reassured her.

Andy nodded, but she wasn’t convinced, She was just thankful he had made it back to her, and didn’t leave her all alone to raise their child. “I love you, baby,” she managed to get out.

“I love you.” His words echoed back and he hugged her tightly again. Moments later, Maya appeared at his side, and Andy moved to get up off of the ground. “Hey Captain Bishop, things were getting a bit toasty, huh?”

“Just a bit,” Maya rolled her eyes. “You okay Sullivan?”

“Fine.” The man in question had regained enough oxygen in his lungs and strength in his body, to rise to a standing position.

“You should head over to the aid car and rest; we can debrief later.” Maya glanced around, then leaned over to her fellow firefighter. “Hey, is Andy alright?”

Robert raised an eyebrow. “She’s fine, why?”

Maya sighed. “She acted overly emotional when you were struggling to get out of the building. I totally understand why, but it’s unlike her. I just wanted to make sure things were okay.”

“Oh, I understand.” Pausing, Robert hesitated how to approach the subject of why when he knew Andy didn’t even know he knew about her secret. “I’m sure she was just worried.”

“Right,” Maya said. She didn’t look completely convinced, but luckily thought Robert didn’t get questioned any longer. He made his way over to Travis at the aid car and got his head looked at. It was just a bruise, which would heal in no time.

The fire eventually died down and lost the war against the firefighters and water. Station 19 began to pack up, and Andy came over to give her husband a check up of her own, before getting back into the aid car. Vic apologized profusely to Robert for leaving him, and he told her that he would’ve done the same thing, had he been in her position. As Andy and Travis pulled away, Robert was leaning over to give Vic a reassuring hug; all was okay.

Once they got back, chores needed to be done, then people started heading to the showers or to crash in a bunk room. Andy slipped away and went back to the barn, swinging herself up to sit on the back of the firetruck amongst the many hoses. It had been a long day, even though it was barely eight o’clock. All she wanted to do was go to sleep, with maybe a little loving from her husband first.

Speaking of Robert, his voice carried through the barn as he spotted her. “Hey, can I join you?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Andy nodded, moving so he could come up too. She let out a loud sigh, and ran a hand through her messy curls.

Robert watched her, concern in his gaze. “Everything okay?”

“Today was a close call,” Andy began, looking at her hands instead of her husband. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

Robert wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. “Me too.” There was a moment of silence, until Robert decided it was time to rip off the bandaid. But first, he needed to tell her something. “I love you, you know that?”

Pulling away, Andy snuck a glance at Robert. “Of course, silly. I love you too.”

“Good.” Robert smiled slightly, then bumped her shoulder with hers. “Then I just wanted to tell you that I know.”

Andy whipped her head towards her husband. “You know what.”

“I know. Don’t try to hide it any longer.”

“What do you know.”

“I know.”

“I know you know, but what do you know?” Andy was very stubborn, and was not about to show her cards first.

Robert, who gave into arguments like this with her more often than she did, sighed and told her: “I know about the baby. That you’re pregnant.”

“Dammit.” She looked back down at her hands. “I was trying to keep it a secret for a little while longer. How did you find out? You didn’t look in my sock drawer, did you?”

“No, I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that,” Robert reassured her.

“Then what was it?”

“Well you’ve been acting funny the past couple days. Avoiding coffee, being way more emotional than normal-which there’s nothing wrong with but it isn’t like you normally-and disappearing to throw up at the same time for the past five days. You deny it but I know my wife.”

Shaking her head, Andy let out a sigh. “I can’t keep anything a secret from you.”

“So are you pregnant?” Robert wanted his wife to say it, to confirm his theory.

“Yes, I’m pregnant.” Andy nodded.

Robert didn’t hesitate. He leaned over and pulled his wife into the biggest hug, then began to press sloppy kisses all over her face. She laughed, swatting at him lightly. “I love you so much,” Robert gushed. “And I love you too, baby,” he said, looking down at Andy’s non-showing belly.

Andy took his hand and placed it where their baby was growing inside of her right now. “You’re not gonna want to miss this, ever,” she said.

“Never,” he agreed.

They were quiet for a moment, just breathing together. Then Andy spoke: “Before you tell me to lighten my duties, I planned on talking to Maya later this week. We have a girl’s night in the works, and I need to tell her before she suggests we go to a bar for shots.”

“Didn’t even cross my mind yet, but I’m glad you knew what I was going to ask in the future,” Robert said with a laugh. He pressed another kiss to Andy’s lips, then looked all around him.

“What?” Andy asked, as she watched her husband.

“I was just thinking, this is where it all started. Right here in the barn, when I was introduced as the new captain of Station 19. Who knew that we’d be here now, married with a baby on the way?” He lay back, pulling Andy down with him, and they tangled themselves amongst the folded hoses, snuggled together like they had lay that morning before getting up.

Andy confessed, “Not me. I hated you for a good while, before I realized I was using hate to cover up what I felt for you.”

Robert chimed in, “And I told myself I wasn’t going to fall in love with a firefighter half my rank. Look where that got me.”

“You love me.”

“I do.”

“And we’re going to be good parents, right?”

“The absolute best. First thing we’re going to do is teach them Spanish. After English of course.”

“Okay. Only if I get to teach them how to make French toast because-”

“It’s the only thing you know how to make for breakfast.”

[jcmoneydick]

TharnType SS2 Episode 11

Why didn’t Type bring his bag with him? Why did he just throw it in the house and dip?

Type’s family dynamic is based on pettiness, and is so cute. You can tell Type doesn’t let his dad get away with anything. But, you would think that after seven years, Mr. Thiwat would get used to Tharn being around. As soon as Type is done hearing what his dad has to say he’s calling for his mom. It’s hilarious, and I could probably watch ten minutes of Type picking on his dad. 

Why are they trying to convince me that Tharn is capable of cooking. The series should be called Tharn & Ghost!Type considering how often Tharn talks to himself. It’s a coping mechanism, I get it, but like.... If you would tell Type this, you wouldn’t be sad and lonely. And at this point it kinda feels like them not talking to each other is all stupid pride. Tharn says “I want you to make up with me,” as opposed to “I want to fix things between us.” Tharn and Type both did wrong to get them to this point, but it wasn’t so wrong that they shouldn’t talk for a month. I feel like this is so dramatic and super freaking petty. If the script made it seem like this was the straw that broke the camel’s back, I would believe it. But the script (to me) implies this is their first big almost break up fight. I know the both of them are drama queens, but this “cheating” situation has been blown out of proportion. Also, Tharn no longer believes Type cheated on him (or is no longer worried about it). “I want you to make up with me. You know it, too. That you’re the one who let him in.” So he’s more worried that Type let Fiat in, but refuses to pick up the phone and apologize for accusing him of cheating. The whole situation has a mind of it’s own at this point.

Tharn went all the way to his parent’s house for a bandaid. Pussy lol.

I love how even Thanya is like “Tharn stop being a bitch”. Then his parents are all like “good communication is what you need” and “even your mama made me super jealous once”.  His parents are saying everything I said to him since episode 1 and I am living for it. I can see his dad wanting to roast Tharn “Is that all? If he said dude’s a patient, maybe you should believe him.” And I feel like Tharn is realizing how silly he’s been by not giving Type a chance to talk to him. Ghost!Type appears again.

I don’t know how to feel about Fiat feeling guilty. I’m happy Leo and Fiat can do their shit together, but that should be the end of their involvement with TT. Does Fiat not care that he was kidnapped? I really feel like that whole event should have been like “P’Type don’t want shit to do with me,” and leave it at that. Also, Phu and Cir need to stop leading people to TT’s condo. The face drop that Tharn committed to *chef’s kiss* cause I would be the same. Difference between me and Tharn: I ain’t nice, I would’ve slammed that door right in their faces. BUT ALAS, Fiat speaks for himself, instead of letting Leo do it for him. The apology does seem sincere, and Tharn seems to realize that his pride is getting in the way. Like Fiat’s show of maturity has influenced Tharn.

Type puts on his best grandpa shirt to see Khom. Does Type take the closest open beer to him, no matter where he goes? Isn’t that how people get syphilis? And now we see Type’s pride making a mess of their relationship. Khom is a real one though, he immediately debunks everything Type is complaining about. 

Is the ordainment thing like a rite of passage in general, or like depending on where you grew up in Thailand, or strictly based on religious beliefs? This is also the fastest decision Type has made since asking Tharn to top him. 

I figured Tharn was on his way to Type when he answered the phone in the car, but it was petty of him to say “I gotta go” like that. I would’ve broken down just like Type, but I would’ve also sent a “fuck you too” text. Someone pointed out that Type went through the five stages of grief during this five minute crying scene.  (I just laughed at Type, slipping in the sand.) I know this is supposed to be sad, but like all the shit they put us through makes this so comical to me. But he made valid points. I would’ve been mad at someone making me love them for seven years just to Jimmy Neutron me too. Type cried for so long it got dark outside. It was like noon when this scene started.  Are Vespas appropriate for beach AND road travel? 

Type’s dad is so mad Tharn showed up! It’s easy to see where Type got his tantrums from. Type switches from disbelief to “imma whoop his ass” in nano seconds. This apology scene furthers my belief that this was blown way out of proportion. I know Type says they need to communicate more, but I get the feeling that this wouldn’t be Type’s first time telling Tharn to be one hunnit with him. 

Type: I’d never do anything behind your back

Also Type: *kidnaps and assaults a nineteen year old*

Type: Let’s spend forever together.

At this point in the tale, so many of TT’s scenes together seem like MG couldn’t keep a straight face. Some of the laughs and giggles help the scenes, the rest of them seem like they’re breaking  character to me. The change to me is like a whole reset. The acting in the series seems more like MG than anything most of the time, so for Type and Tharn to be so characterized during episode 9 and 10 really throw me for a loop. It almost seems like two different people, and nearly negate (bastardize? debunk?) the impact of episodes 9 and 10.

“I’m not used to it” Just how hard is Tharn fucking Type?

Since Ghost!Type is gone, Tharn resorts to talking to Sleep!Type. Gulf has to be asleep for real in one of these cuts.) I’m happy that Tharn is making the decision to follow Type, instead of imposing his opinion on him. Personally, I think Tharn trying to propose to him right after they get back together is POOR timing on his part. I can see how Type’s thinking has changed, but I do feel like they should’ve warmed up to this again. A thrown in the wind “So, eventually you’ll wear my ring, right?” I really don’t appreciate Tharn trying to run away again. They just talked about this like less than 24 hours ago. Type stating his emotions and plans about this is so nice though. After 10 episodes of his avoidance of the marriage, I’m glad he clearly spoke his feelings for once. And Type mentions not being able to give his parents grandkids, but I thought Type didn’t want kids. I know wants can change after years, but it kind of shocked me at first. Is this stated anywhere in the first season or is this a headcanon I actually thought was canon? 

I really can’t believe Champ and Doc are out here playing games with each other still. Type has given Doc so many tips and advice. Khunpol HAS to be playing hard to get at this point. It’s cute, but also kiss already. 

Type’s dad manages to be racist and homophobic. How familiar, reminds me of home. Did Type just tell Tharn he’d blow him? How bold.

Prediction for next ep:

Type’s ordainment and Tharn’s slaving about the resort.

Mr. Thiwat’s begrudging acceptance of Tharn

TT’s engagement (romance turned to 100)

P’Thorn’s wedding

Maybe the families meet?

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Belated “Early” Live Blogging - Aaron, Ben and Liv - Another bit of a rant

Spoilers below the cut...

So I still irrationally hate Aaron and Ben together. But also, they really are the worst. 

I suppose at least Aaron did smile a few times in these episodes but half of that was at Chas and Paddy and Ben just happened to be there. And the other half was when he was playing table football with Ben and beating him which...okay. 

He still spent most of the time looking quite miserable. Hardly the honeymoon period that Ben was after. Also, I liked that they went to the HOP for pizza and then we never saw them there despite seeing other scenes up there. Grateful. But anyway, Aaron still spent most of the week just worrying about Liv. He even tried to ditch their HOP date to go check on her. Must have really been having a great time. 

I do agree with Ben that Aaron needs to take some time for himself and disentangle himself from Liv a bit. But I also wasn’t thrilled with Ben sort of trying to micromanage him and whining to Chas about it all and getting her to gang up on them so they could hang out. 

And that’s the thing, it still all does feel really forced. With Chas being overly supportive and overly encouraging of them hanging out and kind of forcing Aaron into it. And I do agree that their attempt at flirting does feel very matey. 

I thought the whole conversation at Pride between them felt really forced too with Ben saying how he felt like Aaron was still hiding who he really was. Like...fuck off Ben. You don’t know all he’s been through. I mean, he probably does since he knows everything else these days but still...in terms of what we’ve seen him hear on screen, he doesn’t know the full extent of the Gordon thing and he doesn’t know about his suicide attempt or how far he had come before Robert was gone. I mean he married Robert in the middle of the flipping village and kissed him in front of everyone. He’s hardly hiding who he is. He was settled and happy and married and ready to expand his family. 

I mean I do agree that sometimes the show struggles to write for their gay characters and make things believable, particularly with Aaron sometimes and especially right now. But also, they just have no chemistry either. 

And they rushed them together and now two seconds later Ben is freezing him out over his drunk father? Or we assume it’s his father? Because how many other drunk relatives/acquaintances can this man have? And since we didn’t even see them having a real scene together, I literally do not care. Also, how did he not notice his father sitting across the pub from him while he was having that incredibly forced chat with Charles about gay marriage in the church. Also...don’t get any ideas Ben unless Robert is back to crash it. 

I did kind of enjoy Aaron’s “Divorced” response to Ben though. Robert...ever present. Haha. 

As far as Liv goes, I thoroughly enjoyed her just yelling at Chas and Cain and calling them hypocrites because she’s right about Faith and about their methods...well Chas’s method. Cain actually was good with her until this week when he’s just decided to write everyone off for the sake of this Faith plot. (So few valid Dingles left. It’s what, like...Faith and Marlon and Charity and sometimes Aaron?). 

Although her shouting at Chas and Aaron about the manipulation and the emotional blackmail and being all upset at them saying things like “What about us?” was a bit rich considering. I mean sure, yell that at Chas because that’s her all over but that’s also exactly what you did to Aaron after Robert so….no. When she started cutting into Aaron then I went back to being frustrated with her. Because he is trying his best with her, whether she deserves it or not, whether he’s doing a good job or not. He’s not, but he’s still there, caring. 

So then I’m back to “please Aaron...please for the love of god move out!” 

Oh...back to Ben and Aaron, so the bullying thing. Since @memorieswarm mentioned looking forward to my response about it all. I did think it was really odd to bring it up like that. I was amused that it was Aaron that brought it up at the HOP though. Especially because it was like “Wait...why are you dating me, your school bully, again?” because yes Aaron, that really is a damn good question. It does seem odd to bring it up at all because they hadn’t brought it up once during this whole time he’s been back and honestly, they barely did anything worthwhile with that bit of history when he was first introduced anyway. So truly, what is the point if it’s not going to go anywhere interesting. And why bring it back up? Most casual viewers have probably forgotten it was even a thing. It’s not like they’re telling a really good story with it all and had an unforeseen four month break and now have to remind the audience about it. Like it’s literally a terrible story that has had no direction and the bullying hasn’t even factored into it beyond the first couple interactions. Not to mention, they had Aaron kind of rightly question it, although way too late pal, and the Ben was all “no it’s fine now, you’ve changed all that” and blech… Gross. Why is Ben so into him?! It’s weird. I hate it. None of it makes any damn sense. Please give me my revenge story. 

Also, Aaron pleading with his voicemail was not cute at this stage. 

They really are truly the worst. I hate them so much.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Last week Jensen was on Rosenbaum’s podcast, this week it’s Jared’s turn. Just like with Jensen’s I recommend checking Jared’s out it is for free on youtube, I will be linking to it at the end of this post, and I also recommend checking out his first appearance on Rosenbaum’s podcast. 

While Jensen’s appearance was recorded in the beginnings of the boys Vancouver quarantine, Jared’s was recorded a little more recently after the boys had resumed production and when they were starting on the final episode nonetheless if you are looking for information regarding Supernatural and/or the final epis you will not find them here, Jared actually didn’t talk much about the show. He did however open up about some topics including his arrest. 

Of course, they are two different people whose interviews were done at different moments in time and who got asked different questions but this had a very different feel from Jensen’s; while Jensen’s felt more interview like, this felt very much like a conversation between two friends who’ve known each other for years....the majority of the time. 

Here’s the thing, and some of y’all are not gonna like me for this....while the conversation had its deep moments and Jared opened up about some personal stuff it felt to me like a more open version of how he is in conventions. Which is not a bad thing! But it’s not like last time where he was, imo, a version of himself that only those in his circle might get to hear. There was some fuckery people, okay? There was some fuckery and we will be talking about it.

I am going to put a disclaimer here, just in case, that this post is not going to be G*nevieve friendly. Or friendly towards her and Jared’s “marriage”. 

Before we get into what Jared said and talked about, I do want to take a minute to acknowledge and say condolences to Rosenbaum and his family, one of his sisters recently passed away after being sick pretty much her whole life. 

I also wanna say real quickly that something that I really like, and I would say even respect, about Rosenbaum is how open he is about things and listening to the intro of this “episode” made me realize why it is that he gets his guests to open up so often; I think it’s because he himself is open about his struggles and his issues and he is free of judgement so if you confess to something stupid he’s not gonna judge you for it, he’s also willing to cut things out if his guests ask him too so his guests know they can talk to him and he will understand and not judge them and will respect their privacy and cut something out if they ask it of him so they can talk freely. 

Okay, after all that let’s get into what Jared said and talked about in the podcast. FYI, much like in the Jensen post, from here forth Rosenbaum will be referred to as MR for convenience. 

- The conversation starts on what I considered to be a funny note with Jared talking about his infrared sauna blanket which he travels with that is such a weird item to travel with I can’t with the white richness of it all but hey we all got our quirks 😂

- After that the conversation turns pretty serious and deep, he talked about Sadie and having to make the decision to put her to sleep. He was tearing up talking about it, and I’m not gonna lie I myself was crying - hell I’m tearing up as I’m writing this not just because I can’t handle seeing this man cry but because I know what he’s talking about, I know that pain, I know what he meant by Sadie looking at him like it was time for her to go, I know what it’s like to be in that room with a beloved pet as they’re taking their last breath...I have had to put two of my cats to sleep in the past and it’s the most difficult and heartbreaking decision one sometimes has to make as a pet owner. 😔

- Something I like about when MR and Jared talk to each other is that they have very similar personalities in some ways and they’re good friends so when they’re talking it very quickly turns into two friends talking to one another which means the conversation is all over the place. In a good way. They got into a conversation about living in the moment and how social media and cell phones can affect that; I, personally, found it fascinating. I love hearing them discuss their different POV’s about these types of topics. 

- And here’s where we get to the fake. I’m writing this post at an extremely late hour but I’m determined to get it up before I go to bed and I really wanna go to bed, so I’m gonna try to get through this as fast as possible so strap in cause there’s a lot of bullshit to quickly wade through in this section. 

Jared starts praising the fuck out of G like this man was going for it, he was really pilling it on nice and thick. So, there I am watching this with my eyes about to roll right out of my skull wondering what was up with all the fuckery cause there’s being civil and a gentleman and then there was this when a light bulb goes off above my head 💡: When this was filmed, he already knew she had been cast to play his wife on Walker, he probably figured out that by the time this aired either the news would have already been out or would be announced soon so he’s hyping her up in the only way he knows how which works anyways cause the character she’s playing is his wife and her likability is in part going to rely on people overlooking her bad acting and the nepotism to focus on her being married to Jared in real life cause people love when irl couples work together even more when they’re playing a couple. From what I’ve seen it makes people less likely to call out a lack of chemistry cause then they feel like they’re insulting the couple.

He hypes her up using the same script he and Jensen have used in the convention circuit for years when it comes to praising the wives complete with classics such as ‘i’m never home so i never knew she did so much’ and ‘i ask her what i can do and she tells me to take out the garbage’. Nothing new is added to the script, he doesn’t go into details about what makes her amazing or about “all she does” he just pretty much says over and over that she’s incredible and does so much, if he meant it and she really does “so much” why not go into detail? It’d be so easy of him to say something like ‘oh, she’s always making us healthy meals and trying out new recipes’ which can be backed up by her insta because during quarantine she did a bunch of insta stories about cooking and checking out recipe books like goddamn Jared if you’re gonna lay it thick at least put in the effort even I could hype her up better and I don’t even like her. 

It all comes off as very insincere, have y’all ever seen somebody talk about the person they love? You can tell in their voice, in their eyes, some even get a fond little smile. It’s actually quite cute to watch but there’s none of that here, even when he mentions G giving birth there’s no emotion there’s no sincerity, it’s like he’s saying all the right things but he doesn’t believe them. It reminds me off- have you ever had someone, maybe it’s a friend or a romantic partner or whatever just someone who you’re introducing to somebody else or a group of people and you really need them to like this person you’re introducing so you start to sell them meaning you just start singing their praises to an over the top extend as if you were a car dealer trying to boost up their merch? Yeah, it’s like that. 

I don’t believe for one second that she volunteered to go with him to Van so he wouldn’t be alone like Jared go to somebody else with that story 🙄

I did have to laugh at some parts cause he was laying it on thick as if I didn’t remember and know that he looked miserable in almost all the pics G posted of him from quarantine right from the beginning, and being all ‘she doesn’t have any time for herself’ well clearly she found some time cause she does her little yoga collabs, she’s had her little photo shoots, she’s done a bunch of sponsored ads, she did her clothing collab with Kohl’s, she started a book club clearly she has the fucking time to do things for herself and pursue hobbies. He also said with three kids he didn’t have time for himself which I found funny because I don’t know if y’all remember this but early on in the quarantine Jared and G did a livestream and in it he mentioned several times that he was using his time for phone calls and even way too seriously said he was handling cabin fever by hiding and letting G handle the kids so....

It’s also an interesting contrast between what Jensen said in his podcast appearance because while Jared tried to make it sound as if G had no time for herself and like that’d be impossible with three kids, Jensen pretty much said the opposite, he said that he and D would sometimes take the kids and entertain them so the other one could have some space to do their own thing, and even gave an example of settling the kids with a movie so the parents can have their own space at the same time. 

- Moving on from that fuckery, the rest of the conversation was very deep and interesting. He talked about going to therapy and once again mentions being afraid of fucking up his kids, but adds that he’s come to realize that no matter what he does he’s gonna fuck up his kids anyways cause that’s what every parent does even if they’re amazing. This is a statement that I very much agree with it doesn’t matter how amazing a parent is they’re gonna make mistakes and fuck you up. 

He talked about his anxiety and his depression and how he doesn’t like to say he suffers from it because it makes him sound like a victim he prefers to say he deals with anxiety. 

This is gonna sound so weird but I loved something Jared said about death, MR talked about his anxiety and he said that his psychologist told him anxiety is always in the backseat and a. that is so true I think pretty much anybody who suffers from anxiety can tell you that it’s always there but b. Jared mentioned that he head somebody talk about death the same way, that death is always in the passenger seat but they become a friend. I know for some this might sound concerning or macabre but personally I think this is the best way to think about death not as something to hate but as a friend who is always besides you and that doesn’t mean you’re in any rush to welcome its embrace but it does mean you don’t fear it. 

He said that now a days if he wakes up and doesn’t feel anxiety he’s like ‘what’s wrong?’ which honestly relatable af

And I am paraphrasing btw, this is the cliffnotes version of a very deep in-depth part of the conversation between him and MR starting when they’re talking about therapy the whole thing is very interesting I’m not doing it justice. 

- Towards the end of the podcast Jared opened up about his arrest. He said he has no real recollection of what happened, he doesn’t know if maybe he was drugged or just got black out drunk but he doesn’t remember the fight he just remembers up to the point of going to his friends bar. He has seen the security tapes of that night, saying he didn’t recognize himself due to the way he was acting. He thinks perhaps because he has been jumped before that maybe he acted on instinct to fight back. It is not something he is proud of and he doesn’t make excuses, he knows he fucked up. He also says he has not drank since then. 

I am very proud of him for opening up about this, and for either quitting or limiting his alcohol consumption - quite honestly I’m not sure if he has full on stopped drinking or if he is just limiting himself to only once in a blue moon cause I do know people, hell I am one of these people, I don’t drink 99% of the time but if it’s a special occasion or I’m just chilling with someone I know and they’re having a drink I might have one or a sip or two so technically I don’t drink so I don’t know if maybe that’s what he’s decided to do or if he’s quit alcohol forever, either way I’m very proud of him. I’m proud of him for opening up about this and for talking about his mental health and therapy.

With the exception of some fuckery he really did open up about some things and I highly recommend giving it a listen/watch because when it’s the real him talking it’s a very insightful conversation.

Inside of you | Jared Padalecki

[tthankstoyou]

challenge! assign glee couples to taylor swift albums! based on the couples’ vibe, storylines and overall playout. you can put more than one couple for each album

these couples:

brittana, quinntana, klaine, kelliott, finchel, st. berry, samcedes, fabrevans, tike, tartie, wildeabrams, jarley, quick, and faberry

(stuck to canon and plausible non canon)

this is such a good (and yea definitely challenging) ask. thank you for sending it in <3

brittana - speak now. purely because of mine

quinntana - reputation. they are the perfect ship for that album (alongside kurtbastian). basically every song on rep can be connected back to quinntana, wether it be through canon or a headcanon. also dress is straight up the wedding episode where they hooked up

klaine - i want to say lover just because of paper rings and that deleted scene of the bubblegum wrapper ring 😭

kelliott - also reputation! I have some very specific headcanons about rep that I think fit kelliott really well. I think the song that fits them the best is gorgeous. that song is literally how kurt reacted when meeting elliott for the first time during his audition and you can't convince me otherwise

finchel - hmmm i’m thinking speak now. enchanted is like when they first met. better than revenge is both when rachel overreacted about finn and santana sleeping together AND when finn beat up brody. also rachel is the type of girl to daydream about the title track in s1 when finn was dating quinn

st berry - fearless. first of all, superstar is basically rachel when she first meets jesse. fifteen is veryyyyy them.

samcedes - lover. songs like the title track and paper rings remind me of them because of how often they talked about marriage in s5 part b. it was like they would have definitely got married if mercedes wasn’t about to leave for tour. also i think cruel summer fits their little fling that they had pre s3.

fabrevans - debut. not based on any specific songs, but because i think that album and the ship has similar vibes. it’s the whole country thing

tike - they fit almost all of the songs on lover tbh. from cruel summer (when they fooled around at summer camp), to lover and paper rings (tina proposing), death by a thousand cuts (their breakup), the archer (tina being a water sign), the man & you need to calm down (tina being a feminist and advocate for social issues and dragging mike along for the ride)

tartie - hmm maybe fearless. i feel like they had a rocky relationship and songs like forever & always and the way i loved you describe it well

wildebrams - they’re also fearless. man artie wasn’t good with relationships. i think kitty would love mr perfectly fine and white horse & would relate those songs to artie. also fifteen fits them (what is up with glee and age gap relationships 😳)

jarley - i get evermore vibes. like coney island, dorthea, gold rush. i mostly see them in the heart wrenching songs. i also see them in red. like marley would sing all too well after their breakup (ok wait i really wanna hear that now). i just think a mix of those two albums describes them well.

quick - 1989. as out of the woods states, they’re kind of doomed from the start, and i feel like that’s what they are. they were trying to make something work that they both know couldn’t, like specifically looking at it from during s1. and then i also see them in i know places and blank space (like how puck calls her crazy or loopy or whatever in s4)

faberry - folklore 100% i don’t think i need to expand on that

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Exploring the Garnet Bamboo Peninsula

Garnet bamboo trees are cool to look at. They don't seem like much at first glance but when you look closely, you can see little buds poking out, like tiny gem shards. I guess that's how the bamboo got its name - the buds do look like a bunch of tiny garnets.

This place is chock full of them and according to Yasmine, it's the only known place where they grow. Aside from the unusual buds, it's like any other bamboo plant - but that doesn't make it any less special. The flowers however are used in teas and soups, so those are local specialties here. They add a subtle bittersweet flavor that goes well with many soups and stir fried veggies.

I've been here for a couple days exploring the peninsula with Nathan, Yasmine, Dello, and Donna. Originally it was just me, Nate, and Yasmine, then we ran into the Clanwings so our trio became a quintet!

Yasmine and Nathan are on break from grad school. I didn't even know Yasmine went to the same college until recently, having just enrolled in the spring semester. I remember that she was debating going back to school after leaving the entourage. She and Nathan aren't in any classes together but since it's a small school they sometimes run into each other at the commons so they kinda know each other.

I've never heard of the Garnet Bamboo Peninsula until Yasmine brought it up. She heard about the place through Jamie, who of course would know about it. Along with the bamboos, the place is known for its cafes and bike trails. Being an avid biker and motorcyclist, Yasmine was intrigued. So when she suggested traveling there to me and Nathan, we became intrigued too.

The peninsula really is a lovely place for sightseeing and hanging out at cafes. It's perfect for a chill vacation where you don't really want to do too much other than be in a different setting. Just seeing the garnet bamboos up close and trying the local cuisine is enough of a fun experience. If that's all we end up doing, then I'm more than satisfied.

While biking along the beach trail, we ran into Dello and Donna. Dello somehow got his bike stuck and Donna was having no luck helping him. So we pitched in and managed to get the bike out, but it was in pretty bad shape. Based on how the crash scene looked, it's lucky that Dello only had a few scrapes and bruises.

Then again, I'm pretty sure Dello - and Donna - are like physically immune or something because they can take a lot of damage and somehow not break any bones or get crushed. It's funny but also kinda weird and unsettling - even they're low key freaked out by it sometimes. I'm pretty sure their uncle had something to do with that - likely by accident as that tends to happen a lot with the Clanwings.

Anyway, we invited Dello and Donna to dinner after helping them with the bike problem. They were sent by their uncle for a business trip and were planning to leave soon. Then they decided to extend their stay because things are a bit chaotic at home and Louise suggested that they hang around for a bit. She didn't elaborate too much but she insisted that they postpone going home so we assume it has something to do with their dear old uncle getting into some sort of trouble.

So Donna and Dello are now on a short vacation, which Donna's looking forward to. Dello admitted that he could use a break, but he also feels kinda bad for leaving Louise alone with the kids. Louise says she and the boys surprised the kids with a camping trip so they won't be at the mansion either. So whatever their uncle has gotten himself into, he's on his own.

It's been fun exploring the peninsula, gathering flowers, visiting cafes, and enjoying the view. We also took turns riding with Yasmine on her motorcycle, which was kinda scary at first but a lot of fun!

Yasmine's got an impressive collection of motorcycles as well as a vast knowledge on them. She occasionally works as a stunt rider, which was how Jamie met her. She's one of those people who gives off the impression of being a cool badass type and not only she is, but she's fun to hang out with too!

Before that, Yasmine was an actress best known on the Teen Scene sitcom Popular Besties. The show, I'll admit, was not that good, but I enjoyed it as a kid. The episodes tend to be a hit or miss and the first two seasons were all right but by the third and final season it was tedious. It was pretty obvious that Yasmine and her co-star were tired of the show so it wasn't a surprise when they later revealed that they quit, which was why season four was scrapped at the last minute.

Since getting to know Yasmine, I can't help but think of how her talents were wasted on Popular Besties. A lot of actors who debuted on Teen Scene have mixed feelings regarding their breakout roles and have since then moved on to better things. Yasmine still acts occasionally, though she's slowly phasing away from the entertainment industry. She says she's still not quite sure what direction she wants to go in but grad school's a start as well as continuing to pursue motorcycle racing.

Nathan has got a look at Yasmine's motorcycle collection and as expected, he was impressed. We don't know too much about those kinds of things but we know an impressive collection when we see one. I'm glad that they're getting along well - Yasmine's the type who easily becomes friends with everyone, even with people you'd think she wouldn't have much in common with. It's not that she and Nate are opposites but they come from completely different circles so it's unlikely that their paths would ever cross.

Things in Astra are pretty much the same for Nathan, and that's the way he and his family like it. He did mention that he visited Evan's grave for the first time in months, a kinda spur of the moment thing he didn't expect to do. He said he was reading a case study for a class that stirred up some memories so he had to step back when it became too much. Then he found himself at the cemetery and that kinda helped, or at least it grounded him. He told his therapist about it and she said some things that has left him thinking about the past.

I hope that one day he'll finally find peace with that. Nathan's come a long way since we first met and while what happened to his brother still hangs over him, at least he no longer beats himself up over it. That's why he wants to help people, to prevent tragedies like Evan, to save those going through a downward spiral no matter how far gone or beyond saving they think they are.

Dello and Donna have been up to the usual as well, shenanigans and all. Easton's hanging out with Rolly a lot so now they're best friends. Edie's happy about that as she mentioned that before Rolly, Easton didn't have too many close friends his age, probably because he's used to being around those older than him. Stork pops in often as usual and it's never a dull moment when he's around. We got to video chat with Louise and the kids, which was nice. They're all having a great time out on the road, sightseeing like we are.

Philly asked Nathan and Yasmine about Astra as he wants to go to grad school and is always looking far ahead in the future. Tally, as expected, asked about the garnet buds in hopes of using Tally Inc. to make a profit. Dello promised Rosie to bring home some sweet treats, particularly the pink moonberry daifuku a local cafe is famous for. Molly and her friends popped in for a bit just to say hi as well so it was nice to catch up with everyone.

The Clanwings are what most would consider an eccentric family. In a way, they kinda remind me of the McManns, except a lot bigger. Apparently they're kinda distantly related so I guess that explains the similarities. Both heads of the families are rich old men who happen to have a late younger sister, both who have twins who are left to keep an eye on their uncles. The uncles tend to get in trouble during their adventures so a lot of people end up mixing the families up.

Strangely though, even though I know Rocky, Chrissie, Dello, and Donna and they all know each other, I've never hung out with all four of them at once. Like I've known them for years and they live in Cityburg so you'd think at some point I'd meet up with Chrissie and Donna or Dello and Rocky on separate occasions but it hasn't happened yet. I mean it will (should) happen one day but I just find it funny that it hasn't.

Speaking of Rocky and Chrissie, we talked about them a bit. Dello said he dropped by to see Rocky and Lex before coming here. We joke that Rocky and Lex should tie the knot before baby #3 comes along, especially now that they're engaged but with no wedding date set yet. They've been pretty much following Dello and Louise with the whole having two kids before getting married. Though from the looks of it, I don't think Rocky and Lex plan on adding another family member anytime soon, if ever.

I don't know how Dello and Louise did it, having four kids roughly a year apart. Rosie and Lessi are 14 months apart, both were pre-marriage, Lessi and Cissy are about a year and a half apart being the widest age gap, then Cissy and Rolly, aka the planned post marriage ones, at 10 months because Rolly came early. So basically Louise was on and off pregnant for 4-5 years, which is insane.

As for Donna, she had the boys and that was it. Before that, it was apparently rumored that the Clanwings were at risk of dying out since Dello and Donna were the only heirs left as for some reason the family members are against marriage, or at least have no interest in it. At this point Dello's the only living Clanwing who's married, but even he and Louise were on the fence about marriage for a while.

So we met up at this place called the Pink Daifuku and enjoyed a bunch of sweet treats. The peach mochi cakes are my favorite as well as the green garnet rose tea. We also shared a bottle of sweet white wine infused with garnet bamboos, which add an interesting flavor. I think this is the sweetest wine I've ever tasted - it's good but a bit too overpowering, something that would probably be paired better with a meal instead of desserts or alone.

Tomorrow we're gonna visit the Diamond Winery to try some more garnet wines and see how they're made. The winery's on one of the top places to visit in the Garnet Bamboo Peninsula because it has a gorgeous view of the cliffs and it's the only place where garnet wines are made. Dello and Donna are into that kind of stuff so of course they'd want to check it out. Yasmine said she always wanted to try the garnet champagne while Nathan and I are looking forward to taking a bunch of nice pics as well as the free wine samples.

After the cafe we rented some bikes and explored the Waybright Plains trail. There, we looked at the ruins and collected some garnet bamboo. Something about Waybright feels eerie, then again that's how most abandoned places feel like. Exploring ruins up close and personal is always an interesting experience.

We tried to solve something that looked like a puzzle involving the torches but couldn't figure it out. I think we were close though as we managed to light all but one of the torches up. Well, I was never really good at puzzles anyway, and maybe it's probably for the best that we didn't activate what was in there. I mean, I doubt it's like a trap or something, but it is kinda weird that a device like that still works and is just left out in the open. Dello was right to be a bit iffy about it, especially from personal experience.

Yeah, as tempting as it can be, I think we're better off leaving those alone. I don't want to be responsible for causing a catastrophe by messing around with something I shouldn't have.

Time flies quickly when you're wandering the corridors of old ruins. It's easy to get lost in a place like this - I'm surprised that we managed to stay together the whole time. And not only that, but we also managed not to set off any traps or have any accidents along the way so another win. Then again, these ruins are open to the public so that obviously wouldn't be a problem or else we wouldn't have been able to just freely walk in.

For the trip back, we took the scenic route. The trails are super well lit so there's no worries about it getting too dark - and we were out pretty late. Riding around the peninsula at night has a different vibe than in the daytime. I think it's the glow of the lanterns that add to this sorta dreamy, disconnected vibe that makes it so chill. Plus the trails aren't as busy at this time of night so it's just us and the garnet bamboo. If it weren't for the mosquitos, I'd go on nighttime hikes more often.

[hmgfanfic]

Talk about all the Fillory worldbuilding in LQoF, please :)

THIS IS INEXCUSABLY LATE. I’m so sorry!

And I wish I could say it was just my scatterbrainedness, which is definitely a constant factor, but it was also that when you sent this, I was deeeeeeeep into writing the final few chapters of Little Quirks of Fate and I was kind of... in my head about it. It took a lot longer to finish than I had planned (a cardinal sin to my particular combo of severe ADHD and Type-A personality) and I was spending excessive amounts of time making sure I figured out a satisfying ending by my own exacting standards, so I just didn’t have the headspace to think through my early process yet. Very sorry about that :( But now that I’m finally done, I’m excited to look back! So if you’ll indulge me a very late answer, I’d be tickled. 💗

Long ramblings and major fic spoilers under the cut.

The truth is a lot the world building came down to character stuff foremost, followed closely by my preferences as a writer. I adapted the world to the story I wanted to tell, while using the little bits of information we’re given in canon as a baseline, rather than building the story around the world. And that was a lot more fulfilling for me, since I only really love worldbuilding through the lens of character, rather than as an exercise unto itself (though it’s super fun once you get rolling.)

To explain what I mean by that, you need to know that Little Quirks of Fate was originally going to be a oneshot. My plan was about 25-30k (lol) of a pure S2 retelling, only with Quentin in the role of Fen. It was also going to take a much more traditional enemies-to-lovers’ path—with Quentin as an active member of the FU Fighters—and the whole thing was going to be in his POV. Also, they weren’t even going to kiss until after the bank heist (which, yes, was going to be a thing here), but that got abandoned the fastest in favor of trying my hand at smut. But two things made me realize I needed to significantly shift course:

1) I was struggling to make Quentin actually feel like Quentin. I wrote this very atmospheric early scene at the FU Fighters encampment, with lots of description of the bonfires and the way their shirts dyed in Fillorian red looked like blood (you get it.) It took place in the black of night, shrouded in secrecy, and when Bayler questioned Quentin about his new husband, Quentin said something like, “He’s a drunk idiot, we have the advantage.” It was all very lush and dramatic, but it really, really, really didn’t feel like Q in any recognizable way to me. Now, I’m not someone who thinks Q needs to be a precious sweetheart all the time, but what I was writing didn’t have his idiosyncrasies or a motivation that felt true to who I feel he is.

2) The draft was DEFINITELY missing Eliot’s story and his perspective. I certainly don’t think Eliot’s POV is always necessary (sometimes not having his direct thoughts heightens tension in romance especially), but it felt really necessary here, to fill in the gaps of what Quentin was assuming and also—more importantly—because the events were just as impactful on him, but in a very different way. So I knew I was missing half the narrative, but that meant I would need to deal more explicitly with the Beast (i.e., Mike, the most devastating storyline to me, personally) and I really, really didn’t want to do that.

My first step in making a more recognizable Quentin was figuring out a way he could more or less use the same syntax that he does on the show. Voice is the first way I connect with a character, so while many writers in this fandom thrive at modifying speech patterns and keeping the heart of a character alive, keeping close to Quentin’s canon speech was an easy fix for me in a story I was excited to get rolling. Sort of like the old adage of uplifting your strengths before putting outsize energy into things you struggle with.

The easiest way I could think to give him the same syntax was to figure out a way Quentin spent some significant time on Earth during his formative years. And once I rewatched 2x06 and was reminded that Ess went to Phillips Exeter Academy for high school, I lost my damn mind. I started sketching out ways that Quentin could get there too and that’s how I built out the idea of Umber brokering a marriage deal with the actual landmass of Coldwater Cove, which included an education opportunity for the boys (in a nod to Fillory’s patriarchal nature), and also the reason why Umber did that, which was to take advantage of his brother’s orgy mistake with the first Children of Earth to usher in a more productive and orderly Fillory. So that created a whole new set of rules and essentially a whole new world for me to play with... all for the sake of Quentin getting to say “fuck.” It was that important to me. :p

And as I worked through all that, I realized I also wanted to give Q magic, since Quentin’s relationship with magic is something I’m interested in. But I had read on ye olde Tumblr that the reason Illario uses a wand in 2x06 is a nod to the books, where Fillorians specifically aren’t Magicians and that’s the rationale for the Children of Earth royalty. And while I generally see the books as interesting supplemental material with zero bearing on the television show canon, I still said to myself, “Self, wouldn’t it be kind of funny if Quentin was the only native born Fillorian who had magic and so the FU Fighters believe he’s the chosen true High King, but instead of it being because he’s ~special~, it’s because Umber made a clerical error? Lol! Hilarious!”

So while all my questions for how to explain all THAT spun out into more and more detail, at the same time...

I caved to the idea that this story was going to be a No Beast AU, just like my last two stories, mostly because I really couldn’t bring myself to deal with the Mike of it all, even tangentially. I could have just changed that single element, but I’m not a half-measure gal! But I still wanted to stick with the vague background theme of Fillory = adulthood from a questing perspective and I wanted Julia leading the charge this time, but without the sexual assault that occurs in canon. So obviously, the answer was avenging all of the murdered and cannibalized “grown-ups,” i.e., master Magicians, by seeking out help from the gods in a balanced Fillory free from the devastation of the Beast. Duh! ;)

So then, like anyone would do, I rewatched every episode up to 4x11 that makes a mention of Fillory and took about twenty pages of notes on the canon worldbuilding, along with an analysis of how much a particular piece of information would be impacted or not by balance in the realm. For instance, the existence of geraniums (per The Fillorian Candidate and Tick’s misunderstanding of “power plants”) and the lack of diamonds as a precious stone (per the River Watcher not knowing the value of Margo’s earrings in Knight of Crowns) struck me as static facts unaffected by Ember’s reign of chaos. But I shifted the overall feel of Fillory to one that’s more functional and a lot more bureaucratic, leaning on things like the existence of socialized health/vision/dental insurance (the idea of which is canonical, per a petition from the beavers requesting dental coverage from acting High King Josh in Ramifications), strict taxation plans, and an overall sense of thriving Ceremony to show Umber’s influence.

Basically, I wanted Eliot to inherit a much, much easier Fillory to rule—especially with the highly educated Quentin as a built-in and passionate advisor—mostly so it wouldn’t completely strain credulity when a lot of his energy goes toward his love life rather than the intricacies of ruling (though Margo would say he still favored his personal life more than he should have, and she wasn’t... wrong. He wants to be a husband more than a king!) But I specifically made it so most of the chaotic elements were played as whimsical (sorry) quirky shit or smaller hints of greater injustice (see: Ember getting rid of STDs, but still letting magic-poor citizens die of sepsis because that’s too boring to deal with), all while a cataclysmic danger lurked under the surface.

After that, I just filled in details as they worked with character stuff and plot stuff, and I tried to make sure they didn’t contradict each other in a way that couldn’t be chalked up to “chaos.” I basically lived with the Fillory map open all the time and also took screenshots of Benedict’s map of Loria, which gave me alternate ideas for the overall feel of the landmass rather than just the kingdom. And pretty much that’s the basic process I used to create the world! It was extremely fun, and I learned a lot, though I’m *definitely* focusing on some pure relationship kind of stuff for a while because... oof, sometimes it was a lot.

Annnnnnnd if you’re still with me, here’s some stray observations, for funsies:

I wanted Quentin and Eliot’s starting points to be more mature than in the show. Quentin when we’re introduced to him as an adult in LQoF is a lot more jaded and cautious than S1 Q, which is because in this world, his S1 mentality happened while he was on Earth and came to a head during the throes of his fucked up relationship with Bayler. Similarly, Eliot had already gone through a lot of shit too, and was much more self-actualized by the time he agreed to be High King here than in the show. It was still out of desperation for purpose, but not coming out of a direct trauma spiral. I think if they had been younger, both in age and mentality, the story wouldn’t have worked because they would’ve blown it up day two. They’re both still disasters, as we like to say, which is why the... everything happens, but they’re not disasters in the exact same way as in early canon. I thought of them as closer to their S3 selves, pre-Mosaic.

While I mostly kept Quentin’s syntax the same as on the show, I did change it up in some ways to reflect his Fillorian upbringing. The most obvious was replacing “goddamn” with “godsdamned” and “Jesus” with “Hades,” but I also made him slow on the Earth idiomatic uptake and slightly more likely to use passive voice and less likely to use contractions, especially early on and especially when speaking with Fen. He also said slightly out of date things even for someone who last remembered 1999, since Earth was still overwhelming despite his immersion. E.g.: In the epilogue, he asks Eliot if he can spend some time “Googling the World Wide Web” instead of watching Gossip Girl together, even though by 1999 most people were saying “on-line” or “the internet” by a pretty wide margin. But in my mind, the first term he learned was World Wide Web and he stuck to it like glue.

I originally had a full-blown coronation scene, where Quentin helped Eliot with the answers to the 90s questions via subtle charades, such as flapping his hands at his sides to give him the answer “Wings” (and Eliot was eventually going to Eliot-Logically use that moment to argue to Quentin that maybe Q really is the true High King since he was the one who actually answered the Knight’s questions, etc.), but I cut it and only showed bits and pieces in flashbacks because it didn’t really matter. They had to treat it seriously because it was An Event in this version of balanced/un-Beasted Fillory, with a full audience bearing witness, but the whole thrust of the external plot was about dismantling that moment and the concept of monarchy in general, so giving it too much weight outside of the Eliot and Julia friendship felt disingenuous to the story I was telling.

This is also why it was important to me that Margo hated the title High King Eliot the Kind, even though I only brought it up textually once or twice. But in my view, she fucking hated it and never came around to it. Which isn’t because she doesn’t think Eliot is kind, it’s that it felt like a simplification of all that he is, and the coronation ceremony in general felt similarly shallow. It wasn’t just the four of them working out their shit on the beach; it was true ceremony after a year of questing toil and a lot lingering uncertainty/resentments (especially regarding Julia), so it was too Big Shiny Happy Bow to her.

Yet on the same theme, my greatest regret was not being able to work in the fact that Margo’s title for Penny (King Penny the Persistent) was supposed to be half-sincere and half-sex joke. She did genuinely admire that he stuck it out even through his initial heartbreak because he gives a shit about his people underneath it all, but—and this is a very important headcanon to me—she admired his dedication to the art of the female orgasm even more.

I was originally also going to include the One Day More sequence with way more details—such as Umber taking the Javert lines, Ember taking the Thenardier lines, Bayler taking the Enjolras lines, and Penny taking the Marius lines, but... uh... writing a musical number is apparently not in my skill set. Also, honestly, the weirdness of the original is its whole charm and so I didn’t want to improve upon perfection. See also, in a more serious way: Eliot bowing to High King Margo on the Muntjac, the events of Plan B, and Quentin & Penny in the Flying Forest. Would not touch it!

My favorite Fillorian detail was either the guy who sent a citizen petition requesting a “smidgen” of Eliot’s earwax for an undisclosed purpose, or the use of the verb “to peg” to describe a Pegasus flock greeting an outsider with honor. They encapsulate the obscene yet pristine feel I always tried to give Fillory.

My favorite subtle(-ish?) ironic moment is Ess, the heir to a hereditary monarchy, taking Quentin to task for not honoring the anarchy patch on his high school backpack. In general, I don’t like everything being neatly resolved, including on an overarching world level. And I very strongly felt they had ZERO business meddling in Loria, so it left some fun-to-me unanswered questions. Will Ess usher in democracy for Loria based on his experiences on Earth? Maybe! Maybe not, since tradition’s a hell of a drug and Loria has its own history and complexities. Who knows?

I misread the town name Sutton as Sultan on the map the first time I referenced Bayler’s hometown (Sultan’s Ridge), but instead of going back to fix it, I just made it a sister town. Whatever!

I do not know how Quentin got a full bookshelf of Earth literature back to Fillory with him. Magic, I guess. (That’s the answer to anything I didn’t totally think through.)

I occasionally get asked whether Quentin and Fen were physically related. The answer is no, though it doesn’t totally matter. But I intended heart-cousins to be more like close family friends. (Though I actually originally had a joke where Eliot still wasn’t sure by the epilogue, but it didn’t land/feel realistic so I cut it.)

The details of the magic frequency poisoning were DEFINITELY what I thought through the least. My main goal was to have something catastrophic happen to Fillory based in part from the historical actions of the Children of Earth and Ember, patently ridiculously but with lasting consequences. Hence, god orgy that took away Fillorian human magic and sent out a slow poisoning of the overall magic “frequency.” It sounds all well and good, but it’s definitely something that would fall apart with even the lightest bit of prodding. It serves it’s purpose though, so I figured the gaps could be filled in or politely ignored. ;)

This question was way too much fun and a helpful retrospective for me! Thank you so much for indulging me, many moons ago. 💗