#they were also around 15. these are teens around/exactly my age who have been forced to do things and are in such shitty situatiojs

[faerociousbeast]

what did make you a kimimaro fan? i'm curious

ok first off his fight >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

anyways. so we were watching it, and i didnt really think too much of him for a while, AND I DONT WANT TO SPOIL BC AGAIN literally one of the fights of all time, had the best characters involved, but he was randomly SO freaking polite in the middle of a DEATH match??

and i was like. Huh. ok thats actually so fucking funny. im kinda starting to like him. he didnt seem to really have the same... agression either, the other sound five did? like he was just fighting and calm and chill the whole time, whixh was also funny

and with the things he had said earlier, i started realizing- OK WAIT HANG ON this dude actually parallels haku to a SCARY DEGREE??? and for ONCE IN MY LIFE, the show actually LISTENED TO ME ABOUT CHARACTERS RHAT ARE SIMILAR except in the worst fucking wayyy fhejjfjejhhr 😭😭 THEY WERE SO CLOSE...... but yeah we got hit w the backstory beam and :(((

[animefu]

Pokémon Horizons - The Sudden Turn (Part 5)

Characters: Amethio, Liko, Friede, Roy, Molly

Pokémon: Sprigatito, Fuecoco, Cap

It was now late past midnight and the entire Brave Asagi was dead quiet. As already mentioned, Amethio slept with in Liko's room. But in contrast to the young Trainer, he was no longer able, to sleep after about 15 minutes. Instead, the teenager tossed and turned on the mattress, sweating. It looked like, he was having a nightmare, because now he was also making strange movements with his arms, as if he was reaching for something. "No, leave me alone! I'm not weak! No, stay away from me..." he started, to mumble at some point as well.

He was just so taken by it, that he could only vaguely perceive the suddenly muffled voice. ~Amethio? Amethio wake up! Hey, Amethio, do you hear me?!~

Amethio tried, to simply ignore these noises, but suddenly he felt something touch his shoulder and he had the presence of mind, to let out a scream. Shortly afterwards, as it sounded to him, the light was turned on and he just closed his eyes tighter for presence of mind. But then he heard a voice again, only this time clearer. "Amethio, please wake up."

The 16-year-old slowly carefully opened one eye after the other and shortly afterwards looked into a familiar face. "Thank God, you're awake." It was Liko. The girl was sitting on the edge of his bed and looked at the black and silver-haired with worried eyes. "Is everything ok?"

Amethio just looked at the black-haired for a moment and didn't know right away, what to say at first. But then his thoughts slowly returned to their usual course. "What... what happened? Where am I?"

Liko didn't seem particularly surprised at his reaction. "Don't you remember? You're on our ship in my room. You saved me from that Spinel and then brought me back home, don't you know anymore?" she tried to help him along.

Only now did the scales fall from the teenager's eyes! Of course, how could he forget that?! "Right, now I remember. But... Oh dear, I suddenly had a terrible nightmare! Sorry, I really didn't mean, to wake you... If so, then I'm really extremely sorry!! That wasn't my intention..." he said a little hastily and waved his hands around slightly embarrassed.

The young Trainer, on the other hand, didn't react in any way with annoyance or anger. Instead, she carefully touched the 16-year-old's hands. "Shhh, everything is fine. No reason to apologize, really. I got up on my own initiative and turned on the light, after I realized, that you might have been having a nightmare. And my guess was probably correct, it seems like." she said quietly, because it was still the middle of the night after all.

"Would you like to tell me? What exactly happened in the dream and who or what did you possibly see?" Liko asked and briefly went to her bedside table. There were two glasses and a small water bottle standing on it. She filled up one of the glasses with water and then came back to Amethio's side. "Here, have a drink first. Then you can tell me about it."

Amethio gave her a slightly grateful nod and then carefully accepted the glass before taking a few sips from it. He then put the glass aside and took his blanket, wich he wrapped tightly around his shoulders, while looking at the girl again.

She still looked at him expectantly. "Tell me about your dream. What was it about?" she tried again. The teenager, however, avoided her gaze and didn't say a word at first. But Liko continued to persist. "Amethio... I won't force you, to talk about it... However... Maybe talking about it right now will make you feel better, do you understand?"

She showed him a gentle smile and noticed from the corner of her eye, how Sprigatito once again made itself comfortable on the teen's lap and purred softly. "Nyaohja." This made the black haired chuckle slightly. "You see? Even Sprigatito is already trying, to encourage you. You really don't need to be afraid anymore. You're safe here, nothing will ever happen to you again, you have my word on it, I promise."

Amethio still looked at her a little uncertainly, but then gave in. "Okay, I get it! I... I'll tell you." he said and took another deep breath. "I... I suddenly heard voices. Then everything was dark, I didn't know at all, what was happening to me. Then... I was suddenly in a cage surrounded by loud laughing figures, who were making fun of me and kicked me over and over again. But then however... Gibeon suddenly appeared out of nowhere and called me a failure, I'm not worth living. Then he pulled out a knife, that he raised straight at me, I... I tried to dissuade him, but when I thought it was coming to an end for me, you thankfully woke me up." he now reported in a trembling voice and you could actually see individual tears slowly making their way down his cheeks. "I... I was so afraid... I just... Wanted to get out of there! But... I was way to weak, I didn't have the slightest chance..."

Now the teenager really collapsed and finally released everything, that had previously weighed heavily on his shoulders in the form of fear, anger and despair. So he sat in front of his former enemy and cried for the very first time in 5 years. However, this crying had never been so emotionally charged before, not even when Amethio lost his little sister 5 years ago...

Liko was a bit surprised at first, as she had never seen the teen actually cry before, but she couldn't look at this scene for long. Which is why she reacted almost reflexively and took the now sobbing Explorer Admin tightly into her arms and stroked his back soothingly. "Shhh, Shhh... Everything's fine. Just let it out." the black-haired whispered gently and didn't stop stroking his back. Liko now did the same with his hair.

However, the 16-year-old, probably contrary to some expectations, made no move to push the 13-year-old girl away in any way, nor to remove himself from her embrace. Instead, Amethio now really started to cry and clutched himself more tightly into his counterpart's shirt with each new sob. Liko still didn't seem to mind this much, so she hugged the boy even more while still trying, to calm him down. She also started humming a little melody, to have even more success with her attempt hopefully.

And that actually seemed to work, because gradually Amethio's sobs became more and more irregular, before they finally stopped completely and the teenager only had slight hiccups for a short time.

After these had also faded away, the black and silver-haired looked carefully at the girl again. Then he noticed, that she still had him in her arms and quickly moved away from her, while clearing his throat a little bit.

"Sorry... I didn't want to pressure you or anything like that." the teenager actually stammered a little embarrassed and scratched the back of his neck. And yes, you might think, you could see a slight tinge of red on his cheeks. The situation before was really quite unpleasant for him. Especially since Amethio had really cried in front of his former enemy. The 16-year-old was really quite embarrassed because of this.

The black-haired girl, however, still didn't seem to mind too much. Instead, Liko now smiled softly and continued to look understandingly at the young boy, who was still sitting in front of her with the blanket now tightly wrapped around his upper body again.

"We all have to cry sooner or later. That's why you really don't need to be ashamed or sorry. Crying is something completely normal and natural for most of us. You're certainly not alone with that Amethio, you know?"

The person addressed listened to her calmly and then wiped away his tears with his shirt sleeve. God, Amethio could never have imagined, that he would become so emotional. Normally that wasn't really his style at all. It wasn't even that extreme, when he was still a child. Sure, of course he had to cry from time to time during that period too, if he injured himself or unintentionally damaged something. But these emotional breakdowns we'rent even remotely comparable to the one from a few minutes ago. Not in the slightest way.

It took some time, but then the 16-year-old managed, gradually calm down and now dared to look at Liko again. "Please forgive me, it's usually not like me to cry this much, If even at all." he murmured in a still raspy voice, actually looking quite embarrassed about, what happened earlier.

However, the young Trainer still didn't judge him for his moment of weakness. But she continued to look at him understandingly. "And like I said, you really don't have to apologize, Amethio. It's really fine the way I'm telling you right now. So please try not to worry so much about it anymore, deal?" she asked the teen again, who just looked at her and then nodded afterwards. "Got it."

"There you go. Everything will be okay, just believe in it. But now we should sleep a little more, we'll see what happens tomorrow. Maybe even then you'll have some strength to tell us about the rest of your past." Liko now said lastly and laid herself into her bed.

The teen just nooded one more time, before simply mimicking the girls movements and covering himself with the blanket. It didn't take very long for him, to fall right back to sleep afterwards. This time, thankfully, Amethio slept through the rest of the night without any further nightmares or other incidents.

~~~

The next morning dawned relatively quickly. Liko and Amethio were already dressed for the day and were just coming through the sliding door into the Brave Asagis meeting room, which was also the dining area for all members of the crew.

As soon as they both entered, they were immediately greeted by Friede and Cap. "Yo, good morning Amethio, Liko. Are you well rested for today?" the leader of the Rising Volt Tacklers asked, in a good mood as always, whereupon Cap gave a short adding 'Pikachu' from himself.

Liko giggled slightly, straightening her hair a little. "Good morning to you too, Friede. Yes, we are very well rested, aren't we Amethio?" she asked and looked over at him briefly. The teen just gave a nod as an answer.

Friede folded his arms contentedly. "I'm glad to hear that. Plus this is particularly good now, because today is about an extremely important cause. That's why I'm glad that we've all come together here right now." He then said as he briefly scanned the room to make sure everyone in the group was present. Well, maybe except Ludlow, but that wasn't anything new honestly.

After everyone had finally gathered and taken their respective seats, Friede immediately spoke up again: "Listen everyone. I had a conversation with Murdock last night and we both came to the decision... That we should start immediately, to untie Amethio from the Explorers. Best today." Shortly after he finished his sentence, he initially looked at quite confused faces. Yes, even Amethio was pretty perplexed about his words, but didn't say anything just yet.

"And how do you think we should handle that? After all it's the Explorers, we are talking about. And not some random child's play Friede. You're aware of that, are you?" Molly asked, not seeming particularly convinced about his decision. So we're the rest, even Liko. But out off all sudden, the young Trainer was starting, to sense an akward feeling tightening up inside her chest.

Friede was the first one, noticing right away, that something seemed to be bothering the girl. He exchanged a quick look with Cap before clearing his throat briefly. "Liko. Would you like to tell us something? I have that feeling, that something seems to be quite bothering you." he got straight to the point and looked calmly at the black haired, so did the others. Well maybe except for Amethio... The teen had a different feeling, he could clearly sense, that the girl he rescued, was afraid... Afraid of something or... Maybe someone? Whatever it was, he didn't like it in the slightest.

All eyes were watching the body language of their friend, witch indicated, that something was indeed wrong with the 13-year-old. Liko now swallowed slightly and started, playing around with her pendant. 'What should I do? I... I'm scared! Afraid of what's to come...' she heard her thoughts talking to her.

However, these were quickly interrupted when she suddenly felt a steady hand on her shoulder. She looked up and was met with two piercing, violet eyes.

Amethio looked at her with a quite serious expression. Which actually surprised her a lot, because after all, he was so frail a few hours ago and now... Instinctively, she looked down at her feet with a steady gaze.

The teen, however, didn't feel like blocking at all, so the black and silver-haired grabbed her shoulders with both hands now. "Liko look at me!" he now demanded her in a slightly firmer voice, wich honestly was quite unusual for him. At least most of the time.

However, when Liko still didn't react, he put his hand under her chin to lift it. So she had no other choice but to actually look at him and listen to his words. "Liko. I can definitely feel that something is bothering you. And that's why I want you, to tell us, what the reason is for that, I beg you!"

The girl was completely thrown off track, as Amethio revealed another new side of himself. Concern and determination. "But, Amethio... Why are you suddenly like this?"

The teen just gritted his teeth for a short time, but still remained calm. "You're seriously asking this question now?! I tell you, why I am currently like this!! It's because you are giving me the courage, to face my past; no one else would do that except for you. So please... Now let me help you like you want to help me. I trust you, so please give me this chance, to prove to you, that I really can become a better person!! I ask you for it!!" he tried again.

Suddenly Liko's eyes became huge and she had the feeling that she was being trampled on by a horde of Rhydons. She only dimly noticed, how Amethio spoke to her in a shocked voice. At that moment, her environment became completely distorted and unclear.

Amethio was taken completely by surprise when the girl's condition suddenly seemed to change so drastically. Then she collapsed. "Liko... Hey, stay awake!! Don't fall asleep!!" He reflexively caught the girl, before the Trainer could hit her head on the ground and was immediately surrounded by the others.

"Liko!! For God's sake, what's wrong with her?" "What just happened, is she okay?!" Friede tried, to defuse the situation somewhat. "Hey, now calm down!! Give us some space!!" Everyone involved sighed and took a few steps back before the leader of the Rising Volt Tacklers knelt next to his rival.

Amethio was still holding the unconscious girl tightly in his arms, unsure what to do at first. "Take her to her room, Amethio. Molly will look at her in a moment." the white-haired said, briefly placing a hand on the teen's shoulder.

The person addressed then nodded. "Understood." he said, while carefully picking the girl up bridal style and now carried her straight to her room, where he carefully laid her into her bed and then covered her up with the blanket.

Amethio then took a seat on the nearby standing chair, so that he could wait, until Molly came to examine her, but then he suddenly noticed Sprigatito cautiously walking into the room as well.

"Nyawrr?" The Pokémon was clearly worried about its Trainer and so it tip-tapped right next to Liko's bed, making clearly worried noises. Amethio sighed briefly and then carefully picked up the little Grass Cat with a smile while placing it right onto his lap, so that it could see its owner more clearly.

So both of them sat there wordlessly and looked down at the girl. Amethio was most worried, although he couldn't really place it. He was so incredibly grateful to Liko that she wanted to help him so much, to get out of his misery and now she was the one, who was feeling so bad again. It was almost like a vicious circle... With no possible way out.

~~~

At some point Molly finally came along and began to examine Liko thoroughly. Friede and Roy had also joined in the meantime to follow everything as well. After the Pokémon nurse then finished completing her notes on her clipboard, she now looked at all three of them monotonously.

"So far it doesn't seem to be anything serious. She's probably still a little weakened by her injuries and that's why she fainted or else... It's a psychological cause and that's why the attack of weakness. I can't clearly tell, but whatever it was in the end, it's nothing seriously dangerous, so I can reassure you about that. We just have to wait and be patient now, until Liko regains conscious again. It's best for someone to stay with her and watch over her in the meantime. Just in case there is still a possible incident, which I don't think will happen." she now gave her information.

Amethio then immediately perked up his ears and briefly turned his attention to the three of them. "If it's okay with you... I would like to stay with her. After all... I ultimately caused all the commotion. So it's probably the least I can do for her..." he murmured and bowed briefly.

Friede and Roy just looked at each other briefly and then nodded in unison. "That's fine with me." the boy said, whereupon Fuecoco only croaked in agreement. Friede also seemed, to agree with the teen's suggestion. "I have no objection to it so far either. But if something should happen or you need us, Amethio, you can let us know at any time." he said and folded his arms optimistically.

The 16-year-old gave a nod of understanding and looked after the three until they finally left the room, so he was left alone with the girl. Incidentally, Friede had taken Sprigatito with him, to give the Pokémon some rest as well, so that it didn't have to worry about its Trainer the whole time.

Now the black and silver-haired carefully turned back to the black-haired girl. Liko was still lying in bed, but she seemed to be slowly regaining consciousness, because she was now breathing a little more normally again, as if she was just sleeping.

A smile spread across the teenager's facial features and Amethio couldn't resist, taking a closer look at the petite figure laying in front of him.

As he continued, to watch over her, the 16-year-old realized, that Liko was actually quite a pretty girl. Her eyes were loosely closed, the corners of her mouth slightly raised, so that it appeared to him, that she was having an extremely peaceful sleep. So he continued to watch her and couldn't resist, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Amethio had to swallow slightly. He felt like his heart was skipping out of all sudden, but couldn't yet come to any meaningful conclusion. But why was he suddenly feeling like this? He wasn't about to fall in love with the young girl, was he?!

The young boy quickly tried to erase that thought again. Just the idea alone, that he could develop feelings for Liko, even though he had repeatedly tried, to steal her pendant many times until a while ago, was absolutely impossible and absurd for him.

However, he couldn't completely erase these feelings from his memory. He just couldn't do anything about it. But ever since Liko had promised to help him, get away from the Explorers once and for all, he had this strange feeling of always wanting to protect the girl from now on, no matter what the cost!!

~~~

"Damn it!!" the teen briefly hissed out trough his teeth after a while sunk in deep thoughts, and shook himself briefly, before taking a strong breath and immediately letting it out again. He urgently needed to think about something else!!! So he looked over at the sleeping figure again before the young Admin carefully got up and walked quietly towards the door, while being extremely careful, not to wake the black-haired unexpectedly.

He took one last look at the sleeping girl before he closed the door completely, leaving the bedroom and now made his way into the kitchen. There he hoped, to distract himself a little with a glass of milk, but unfortunately he did the math without Friede. Because the white-haired man was currently in the kitchen as well, checking the food supplies and, if necessary, adding things to the replenishment list.

So, he was more than surprised, when the leader of the Rising Volt Tacklers spotted the teenager suddenly entering the kitchen too. "Oh, didn't expect you, to come here Amethio. How is Liko? Has she given any reactions yet?" he asked and sat down on a stool, gesturing with his hand to invite the 16-year-old to sit down also.

The black and silver-haired sighed shortly, but then took the invitation and so took place on the stool, before giving his answer shortly afterwards: "No, not yet. But she seems to be slowly getting better again, she's sleeping now." he said, sipping something from the glass of milk that he had poured himself shortly before.

But then he had to sigh softly after a while again. "Listen, Friede... Can I... I mean, do you mind me, if I ask you something? Something personal..." the teen eventually gathered up his courage. He had actually decided, not to talk to anyone about his possible suspicion, that he might could have fallen in love with Liko, but... Friede was honestly the only possible contact person, he had to deal with more than once. Because apart from him, Amethio had no one with whom he could possibly speak conscientiously about this, therefore, he was really the only candidate for such a matter.

After he finished his last sentence, however, he quickly looked back down at the floor. In fact, he was quite uncomfortable. Nevertheless, he had to and wanted to talk to someone about it!!

So at first there wasn't much of an exchange of words between the two for a short while, but then Friede finally answered to Amethios statement. "Of course you can, Amethio. Always put it out there, what do you want to know?"

The teen hesitated for a moment, but then started to speak: "Well... It makes me a little uncomfortable... But what I want to know... Have you ever been in love or in a relationship before?" This question took a lot of effort for the boy, but now there was no turning back for him. He just needed to get clarity about his feelings towards Liko!

The adult blinked briefly, but then gave a brief snort of amusement. "That's a strange question, my friend. But well, I'll answer it for you anyway. Yes, I've been in love before and also been in a committed relationship. The name of my girlfriend was Yuki back then, I was the same age like you, ruffly around 16 years old and not a Pokémon Trainer yet. She went to the same school like me at that time. That was also the specific location, where we fell in love with each other and started a relationship. We've been together for 4 years until Yuki unfortunately died in a car accident. But why do you want to know that exactly?" he asked at first, but then had to grin teasingly relatively quickly, when he became suspicious.

"Wait a minute... Could it be... that you might be in love with someone and would like to get some tips from me? Is that why this question?" He immediately went on the offensive and now had to grin broadly.

Now Amethio really had to swallow. Great, his rival caught him straight away. The black and silver-haired now tugged nervously at the collar of his shirt. "Well... you're not entirely wrong. There... There's actually someone." the teen now revealed and looked somewhat shamefully at the wall to his left.

Shortly after this statement, Friede's grin only grew wider and he now propped himself up with one elbow on the tabletop, while giving his counterpart a meaningful look.

"So, it's true then. Now it's getting interesting. Well then tell me, I'm listening closely." Now the adult practically insisted, on knowing more details.

This time Amethio even began to sweat a little from nervousness and he fiddled with the string on his collar. But he had to admit, that there would be no point in backing out. This situation was simply his own fault, so he now had to take responsibility for it. Even if he didn't actually plan it that way...

"OK, fine. I'll tell you! I... I indeed fell in love with someone... I... Ever since she promised me, to help me move on from my position as a Explorer Admin... Since then, I've constantly had this desire, to support her in every way and, if necessary, to protect her at all costs! And before you say anything about it, yes, I know it sounds totally crazy and absurd, but you have to believe me, Friede!!! It's really the truth!" these words practically gushed out of the 16-year-old's throat, so that it was very difficult at first, to even understand every word properly. But it was still possible somehow.

At first he got a relatively disbelieving expression after his 'confession', but then Friede burst into an amused laugh, which in turn only added to Amethio's confusion. "To be honest, I don't really understand what's so funny about it..." he grumbled and gritted his teeth in slight annoyance.

However Friede just continued, to laugh still in slight amusement, but luckily caught himself again pretty quickly. "Oh man, I really think, that you should know me a little better by now, Amethio. Because I know you indeed extremely well by now, do you really think that I didn't notice, how infatuated you are with Liko?" The adult actually had to pull himself together, not to laugh even harder.

Amethio automatically had to swallow again and he reflexively avoided his gaze, so that his rival wouldn't notice, how he suddenly turned bright red. "So you... Really noticed, did you?" he then asked meekly after a while.

Friede sighed slightly and gently touched the teenager on the shoulder. "I noticed it from the start, actually right after you looked so grateful, after she promised to help you and also, how you so stubbornly insisted on taking care of her, after she suddenly collapsed earlier in the meeting room. Everyone noticed that straight away."

At some point, the 16-year-old finally had to realize, that he no longer had a chance to close his mind to this matter any longer. "Ok, I admit it, I really love Liko. But I really didn't want to admit it in the first place honestly. However... When the image again appeared in my mind's eye, of how badly injured she was laying so close near that cliff... And later, when she swore, to help me, facing my difficult past, to finally get away from the Explorers... Then something like a switch flipped in me. Liko is so important to me now, I swore to myself, to always protect her now at all costs, if necessary."

Admittedly, Friede was actually a bit surprised to see this side of the black and silver-haired, but on the other hand, he couldn't really blame him. After all, everyone falls in love at some point and it was generally very difficult to influence this phenomenon.

"I didn't know it would come to this either, after all, I've already tried to steal this pendant dozens of times. But I... I just can't do anything about my feelings. I really don't know, what I actually want to do... " the teenager tried to explain himself somehow. Admittedly, he no longer knew, how to deal with the situation at all...

This only elicited a weak sigh from the white-haired man. "Listen, Amethio. At first I also thought that you were actually after us, because you wanted to be recognized in your organization and therefore really wanted to steal the pendant. But after, what Liko told us yesterday, when you showed up with her... I noticed, that you are indeed actually under a lot of pressure and have no other choice, but to carrying out these orders given to you by your boss, because you are simply afraid of the consequences, if you should actually refuse. I can understand you. And that you fell in love with Liko, yes, it does sound pretty crazy, but then again you can't predict something like that. It simply happened." Friede then finished and threw an encouraging look at the black and silver-haired.

Amethio just looked at him even more confused. "I don't really understand that at all now... You're not mad at me? Won't you judge me for that?" he murmured, fiddling with a few strands of his hair.

"No, why should I? Being in love is something completely normal. Also for you. Don't worry about it for now. Instead, think about the best way to tell her. It's entirely up to you, my friend." the white-haired said next, once again having a big grin on his face.

Amethio just sighed again. "So you really think I should confess to her? But what if... she rejects me? Especially since I don't know if she feels the same way about me..." he said, while kneading his fingers nervously.

Friede smiled a little. "You'll have to find out for yourself. Unfortunately, I don't have much to say in that. But don't worry, everything will work out over time. The first priority for now is, that you stand up against the Explorers and that we fight this Spinel guy." he finally said and now stood up from his stool.

"I'll should go back to the others now. You can check on Liko in the meantime to see, if she regained consciousness again." he said and then finally left the kitchen.

Amethio looked after him silently and just sat there motionless for some time, letting Friede's words run through his head again. >"Being in love with someone is completely normal. Same for you. Don't worry about it for now. Instead, think about the best way to tell her. It's entirely up to you."<

"He's right. I will tell her! I will do it. Somehow!" he gave himself the first ultimatum, but then his rival's other words came to mind shortly after he had left the kitchen. That's right, he should check on Liko again by now. She definitely had to be awake again.

~~~

So the 16-year-old made his way to her room, but not to collect Sprigatito on the way first. After all, the Pokémon was still worried about its Trainer's condition. And the teenager was more than right in his previous assumption when he entered the room shortly afterwards.

Because the girl was sitting upright again in her bed, with her back leaning against a few pillows that she had previously stuffed into place. She wasn't fully feeling better yet, but conscious again. At least something.

After her perception had normalized somewhat, the black-haired looked around and then noticed, to her surprise, that she was in her bed. But how did she get here again? Adding to her astonishment was the fact that Amethio suddenly entered her room when she had just glanced at her door.

"Oh, it's you Amethio. But wait... How on earth did I get back into my bed? I was in the meeting room until recently." She was actually quite confused and rubbed her temple a bit.

However, the black and silver-haired said nothing yet and instead approached Liko's bed with Sprigatito in his arms, where he took his place again on the same chair on which he had sat before.

"You suddenly fainted in the meeting room earlier. That's why you've been taken to your room, to find the possible cause of your collapse. But you don't have to worry too much, apparently you were still a bit weakened by your injuries." he then explained, deliberately leaving out the fact, that he was the one who carried her to bed.

"You almost gave us a heart attack, you know? I wasn't the only one, who was completely taken by surprise by this." he then added and carefully placed Sprigatito on the mattress, who immediately padded over to its Trainer. "Nyaohja!"

Liko immediately took the little cat and began to scratch it behind the ears, whereupon the Pokémon made a contented purr. "I'm so sorry, Sprigatito. It really wasn't my intention to worry you. However I'm almost fine again, so you can rest assured." she calmly talked to the little creature and continued stroking and scratching it, until Sprigatito finally broke away from her hold and snuggled itself up close to her side.

Amethio couldn't help, but smile contentedly as he watched the little scene for a bit. "You seem to have a very deep bond with each other. That's nice to see." he remarked after a while.

The black-haired nodded in response. "That's right, we are actually very close. Sprigatito has helped me to strengthen my self-confidence and to conscientiously move towards my goals. I really couldn't have imagined a better Starter Pokémon for myself. It's just something very special." she told him.

The 16-year-old then nodded slightly in response as well. "I see. Then you should always take good care of each other." Amethio then said simply, as he no longer knew exactly, what he should say now.

~~~

After the two of them now had talked for a while about this and that, an announcement suddenly came over the loudspeaker system. "Everyone go to the observation deck immediately! I repeat, everyone go to the observation deck immediately!" Friede's voice echoed through the entire ship.

Liko and Amethio briefly exchanged glances with each other, before nodding almost in unison. So Liko carefully got out of her bed, while Amethio watched her vigilantly so that he could support her if necessary, since she wasn't fully recovered just yet.

After the girl took Sprigatito in her arms again, as usual, the two made their way directly to the observation deck, where the rest of the crew had already gathered.

"Friede, what's the matter?" the girl asked immediately. The leader of the Rising Volt Tacklers then looked at her with an extremely serious expression. "Cap and I have just found the Explorers' base. That's why I called you here, because this would be the perfect opportunity now, to confront this Spinel and thereby finally 'free' Amethio from this organization." he tried to explain the situation as best he could.

But at first he was met with extreme skepticism from everyone. "I don't have a good feeling about this. It could be an ambush and Spinel is just waiting, so he can capture us all at once. We should be careful. And besides he's definitely not someone to be messed with!" Amethio then said and the serious undertone in his voice was definitely unmistakable.

Liko now also had a serious expression on her face. "I have to go with Amethio there. I've seen first hand what Spinel is capable of, so we really should be extremely careful." she added her argument and waited for some kind of reaction from the others. This didn't take long to arrive, because after a short time Friede looked resolutely into the faces of everyone else.

"Liko is right. We should think of a plan first. How about this? Liko and Amethio will distract Spinel, while Roy and I then surprise and overpower him from behind. Then we might have a better chance of getting to Amethio's boss and finally getting him out of this organization."

Everyone addressed looked at each other briefly before nodding in unison, whereupon Friede smiled contentedly and then held out his fist. "So it's settled then. Operation 'Freeing Amethio from the Explorers' begins now!" he said, whereupon everyone shouted 'All right' in unison and performed the handshake of the Rising Volt Tacklers, including Amethio again as well. Now the time really had come... There was definitely no turning back now!

~~~

To be continued...

Sidenote: Finally after like ages at long last I managed, to finish Part 5 of this story. I apologize in the first place, that it took so long. But I really had so many ideas, that I had to sort through first, so that I could end up with a good structure, to implement them sensibly.

In the end, I did a pretty good job, at least in my opinion. But as always at the end of each Part, how did you like this one in particular? Do you agree with me on some points or are there even things, you might would've done differently? Please let me know in the tags.

You will certainly have noticed, that the drama is slowly increasing and it will definitely continue more or less like this in the next parts, that much can be said in advance.

However, I don't want to give too much away for now, you'll have to find out for yourself, what happens next. But I can say this much: There will definitely be another Pokémon battle between two certain people apart from more events, that will be taking place in the next Part, so definitely prepare yourself for these.

As always, I hope you enjoyed Part 5 and would be very happy about a few likes and positive feedback in the tags. Until then, stay healthy and if you haven't read the rest of the story yet, I highly recommend it to you, you won't regret it!

So with this out of the way, be sure, to keep following me trough this journey and join in again next time to Part 6 of:

'Pokémon Horizons - The Sudden Turn'

Your sincerely @animefu 😘😘😘😘

[chaoticevilbean]

Another Star Wars AU, TBN*

*To-Be-Named

I love time travel. A lot. So here is a time-travel au, with the CW trio.

Somehow, perhaps by touching a Sith artifact, perhaps by the Force deciding they should, perhaps from some sort of weird ritual the locals were performing that the trio didn't know about, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Anakin, Rex, and Cody travel aback in time.

[Please keep in mind that Canon Timeline has died tragically in a fire, and I am but the weeping widow with an inheritance.]

Due to whatever happened, they all also end up (technically) deaging. They still have their memories and their knowledge and skills, just stuck in smaller bodies. They can think and act like adults, but they also have to struggle a bit more to implement Older Skills in Younger Bodies.

Ahsoka is 2. She's nubby. She's emotional. She's tired and sore from her deaging.

She wakes up in someone's office. She's in a spinny chair, a big one with leather padding. It's kind-of chilly in the room.

She's not thinking, because all her brain is putting together is that she's still tired. She grabs the jacket off the back of the chair and pulls it over herself. She goes back to sleep.

Rex and Cody wake up together.

They are their actual age, which is to say they're both about eleven.

They find themselves on Mandalore. In the more wild areas.

(let me believe that there are parts of the planet that aren't covered in city)

(also, this is the Mandalore in the cartoons)

They find a teen trying to wake them both up. Rex has absolutely no clue what's going on. Cody has a vague idea, because this girl looks very similar to a picture he once saw...

Obi-Wan does not fare as well. He is 3.

He wakes up in someone's arms. He's just as tired and sore as the other three. However, he's also got more awareness because he's in someone's arms.

He looks up to see who's carrying him.

He looks around at the people walking with them.

He starts crying. He cannot help this, as he is suddenly flooded with Emotions, and he is Smol. Smol = harder to handle Emotions.

Because Qui-Gon is walking right next to him, tapping away on a holopad as they go. Dooku is on his other side, on a comm call where both parties sound very tired.

And Obi-Wan is being held... by Obi-Wan.

So, yeah, not that great for a suddenly Smol Obi.

Now, Anakin is 8, so he's better off in that perspective.

But he wakes up on some remote planet without anyone around. He just was in the middle of a group, so he ends up kinda panicking.

Then he hears something coming towards him, and he panics more.

He's Tiny! He's Smol! He's massively at a disadvantage against attacks! He can't fight off whatever is on a planet like this!

It's Mace (and Depa).

Anakin, however, doesn't realize this. He has gone Feral.

Back to the beginning

Jango Fett has been very busy w/Important Mand'alor Paperwork all day. He finally has time to go and relax a little, and he makes it all the way down to the exit before he realizes:

It is really cold outside. He is not in armor bc he was planning to only do paperwork today (though he still has many weapons). When one plans to stay in the same room for almost the entire day, one does not wear normal garb.

That said, he has no protection from the cold. He forgot his jacket upstairs. He rushes back up to his office.

He distinctly remembers that he left the jacket on the back of his chair, not on the seat.

He also is wondering what that lump is.

He arms himself, grabs some of his "emergency" armor plating, and walks over to the chair.

He lifts his jacket up, expecting a bomb or some paperwork that fell off the desk, or something logical.

He does not expect to find a tiny Togruta child clinging onto the fabric, whining as they're woken up by his yanking of the jacket.

Jango's brain stutters for a moment, then he kicks into action.

First things first, he wraps the jacket around the Togruta. They thankfully stay asleep. Then he turns up the heat, because he knows the office has gotten colder in the twenty minutes or so he's been gone, and Togruta are from warm temperate zones.

He decides to call, in this order, a guard who can help him watch the Togruta (they did break in, after all), a medic to check the Togruta’s health, and the first person he can find in his contacts that might know an adult Togruta.

Next group

Rex and Cody manage to get the teen to stop fussing over them for long enough to ask for her name.

Her, clearly lying, but that’s understandable: My name is Ine.

Cody, who knows exactly who this is now: Oh, kriff. You’re Duchess Satine, aren’t you? Kriff.

Rex: Wait, Satine? As in the General’s Satine?

Satine, now very suspicious and reaching for her stunner: I think you need proper medical attention.

Cody, looking down at their eleven-year-old selves: Yeah, I think so, too.

They agree on one thing, at least.

Next

Obi-Wan is crying. Loudly, uncontrollably, w/too many Emotions to even care that he’s supposed to be an adult rn.

Other Obi-Wan is very uncomfortable, bc he doesn’t know how to handle children too well.

They found this kid unconscious in the middle of a ruined, abandoned town.

Obi-Wan was meant to hold this kid while Qui-Gon did research and Master Dooku tried to convince the Council that it was entirely necessary to bring the kid back to Coruscant. Granted, they can still give the child to the locals at any time before they make it back to their ship, but apparently the Force is Being Loud.

The Force was Being Loud when it told Master Dooku to come along.

The Force was Being Loud when it led them to that town.

Qui-Gon and Dooku have argued fifteen and a half times on this mission, and an additional six times on the flight here. Obi-Wan is trying to mediate but also doesn’t want to overstep. The Force is Being Loud, sure, but the kid is also Force-sensitive so it might be something off that.

He didn’t argue with holding the kid bc he thought that it was better than being caught between the Masters.

Holding a crying child and trying to get two adults to stop arguing bc they can’t decide how to comfort the kid is not better.

Obi-Wan keeps walking past them to the ship with this baby. He does what he’s seen some crechemasters do to the younglings. The kid eventually calms a little, and he belatedly realizes that both Masters are still behind him, not with him.

NEXT

Anakin is panakin.

He is currently in a state of Feralness. His instincts have kicked into overdrive, full-on Survival Mode.

Depa and Mace do not know this. All they know is that there was suddenly an extremely powerful Force presence that started fading quickly (bc Anakin started shielding).

They burst into sight of Anakin and are suddenly attacked by all four feet and some of Feral Force Child.

It’s all they can do for a good minute or so to avoid losing their fingers, eyes, or untorn clothes.

Mace puts a few things together very quickly.

This planet is uninhabited by any sapient life. Therefore, this child is utterly alone. This child also is clearly strong in the Force, and knows how to hide their presence, for whatever reasons. Mace is a Jedi, and therefore is bound by certain duties.

He decides it is his Duty to get this kid back to Coruscant safely.

Back to the beginning

Ahsoka wakes up to find a familiar face looking down at her. She’s still tired, but not as much. She’s very aware of her size, and does a few quick observations.

She does not fully know who Jango Fett is. She does know that some clones run off bc they hate war and weren’t given a choice an- no. Not going down that path yet.

Ahsoka assumes, semi-incorrectly, that she was shrunk or deaged and somehow found by a rogue clone.

She knows it’s a rogue clone bc they’ve got weird armor.

So she does the logical thing and tries to comfort this clone bc he looks really worried and kinda panicked. She stands up on the spinny chair and tries to balance and he practically lunges to help her and she can’t help but giggle, but it comes out in a bunch of chirps instead.

The clone picks her up and looks really awkward so she pats his face bc that’s the best she can do bc she doesn’t want to disprove the fact she’s two yet.

For all she knows, this rogue clone has no idea she’s actually a Commander in the GAR.

He doesn’t, but for different reasons than she thinks.

NEXT

Rex and Cody go with Satine to the city. They have introduced themselves and said that they were separated from their aliit. They don't know where said aliit is.

Satine is highly suspicious by this point, bc these two kids recognized her with only part of her name, and they were alone, and they speak Basic with Mando'a thrown in.

Basically, she thinks that they're children of people like Death Watch, but she's too young to know that Death Watch isn't really into children.

Rex and Cody get checked over by a medic, but also start trying to get access to some working comms. They are refused on account of being suspicious children (which makes them a little upset bc they're not children)(Well, they are, but not those types of children)

They have not yet figured out that they are in the past, bc Cody and Rex only know that General Kenobi talks about Duchess Satine, and they know about Padme Amidala from General Skywalker, so clearly this Duchess is really young and the General simply viewed her as someone he wants to protect.

They are very very very wrong.

NEXT

Obi-Wan manages to calm himself somewhat now that it's just him and... him.

He is three, and he knows roughly what's happening, so he knows he should probably act like a 3yo.

Unfortunately, he has very little understanding of how child ages work. 3 is smart enough to go up the stairs and communicate with adults, but def. not old enough to speak sentences that are 15 words long with at least 2 5-syllable words.

Fortunately, his older (younger?) self doesn't know children either.

So when this 3yo starts telling him that he needs to leave the two Masters on the planet and head to Tatooine really fast, Obi-Wan is more concerned about the idea than the strangeness of "this is a 3yo suggesting this".

Obi-Wan is really good at convincing people. Including himself. He manages to get Padawan Kenobi to leave supplies where the ship is supposed to be and head towards Tatooine.

He says that the Masters will be fine, they know how to survive, and they need to be alone together in order to work through all the tension. Plus, it gives them plenty of time to talk to the Council.

Toddler Kenobi also tells himself that he'll take the blow and say he used a mind-trick.

Padawan Kenobi doesn't believe him yet, but Toddler Kenobi smiles like a very smug adult and says "you'll get there eventually". What he truly means is up in the air.

NEXT

Anakin, since waking up, knows much less than everyone else. Which is saying something.

He knows he's Smol. He knows he's Alone. He knows Someone has come and they are Strangers.

One thing about Anakin's instincts is that they are very much Survival Based. He was Feral when he joined the Jedi, only he had to hold those instincts back for most of his life bc of being a slave.

A slave cannot bite someone who approaches and Vibes Wrong.

By the time he felt okay with being Feral Out Loud, he also felt safe enough that he didn't need to activate his Survival Mode.

What I'm trying to say is that Anakin does not realize how strong his Feral Instincts are. He has absolutely no control over them rn.

When Mace decides to Help this child, this child is trying to Maul them.

Mace makes a small ruckus to draw Anakin's attention to him so Depa can move back. Depa pulls out her saber now that she won't hit the kid. The kid notices Purple and Bright and Lightsaber.

Lorge Jedi Mind says this is Good. Safe. Jedi.

Smol Feral Brain says this is Dangerous. Mean.

Anakin freezes on sight and just starts tracking Depa's saber. She does one of those things where a snake or something is focused and the person waves the fire or the food slowly to make sure the wolf is watching it and usually they toss the thing away so the snake follows it.

Mace instead takes this opportunity to wrap Anakin in his cloak. And Depa's cloak. And the spare ones in their bags.

Feral Child is not happy with this. Feral Child is also unable to scratch or Maul or do things other than bite and snarl.

Depa carries Feral Child while Mace comms the Temple and they walk back to their ship.

The Temple is having a field day.

First, one of their Shadows reports that a well-known bounty hunter got an emergency message from a pal of theirs that said Jango Fett needs help learning Togruta childcare.

Then they get a call from Dooku, which is not the mission report they wanted.

Yoda: Mission report, you have?

Dooku: Of a sort. We successfully spoke with the locals, then went to investigate a rather large disturbance.

Mundi: A disturbance?

Dooku: We found the source to be a Force-sensitive child.

Mundi: So you are here to ask for more time on the planet?

Dooku:...

Yoda: Bring the child back, you wish to?

Dooku, unapologetic: He is of an acceptable age to be admitted into the Temple, and no other beings were around at the time to entertain the idea of there being guardians.

The Council is sighing and muttering bc this is a Disaster Lineage (and they haven't even met the other two yet). Their call is interrupted by the sound of crying and Dooku saying the child's woken up.

Then there's another Shadow who sends a message saying a set of twins that seem like Death Watch were found by the heir of Clan Kryze.

Finally, to top everything off, they get a call from Mace Windu and Depa Billaba. Two very dignified, not-at-all chaotic Jedi from a perfectly respectable lineage.

Yeah, most of the Council and the Order itself forgets that Yoda had a hand in raising Windu. Yoda "Feral Grandpa" who throws children at every problem. Grandson isn't doing too well? Throw a child his way. Other grandchild is struggling to cope with grief? Throw another child their way. Oh, there's a war going on and newest grandchild is angry a lot? Here's a child!

The entire lineage has a soft spot for children.

Anyways...

Mace: Our mission was a success. We found the artifact and both specimens.

Koth: How long until your return?

Mace:...

Yoda: Found a child, you did?

Gallia: Master Yoda, that's a rather illogical guess. Once is unusual, twice is-

Mace: Oh, did Qui-Gon find a child as well?

Yoda, smugly: Bringing the child back, are you?

Depa, from the background, after a rather loud snarl is heard: We do not bite things, young one.

*more snarling*

Mace: We have no reason to believe he was not alone.

Tiin: *deep sighing*

Mundi: *mild confusion noises*

Koon, eagerly: Please send photos of this youngling. For the archives, of course.

Mace, nodding sagely: Of course.

*extremely loud yowl* *sounds of Mace turning*

Mace: DEPA!

Depa: He nearly bit off my finger!

Mace: That doesn’t mean you pinch him!

Depa: What else am I supposed to do?!

*sudden exclamation filled solely of Mando’a, Huttese and Twi’leki curses*

Mace: So, I don’t know if he speaks Basic, but Master Che should be able to talk him through a check-up.

Yeah, several Council members are experiencing headaches now. Normally, they would have some empathy for Mace and his own stress-induced migraines. They currently do not.

Right after that call, Dooku calls back to say that Obi-Wan has left without them.

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Dooku:

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Obi-Wan did not leave himself with the Masters. Obi-Wan has listened to Mini-Obi and is off on some wild space adventure to a criminal-run planet.

The toddler won’t stop staring at him. He asks for a name. The kid says to call him Ben.

OW: Is that your name?

“Ben”: It is a name I am called :)

OW: That isn’t what I meant.

“Ben”: I know :)

Ben also keeps staring at OW’s lightsaber. OW decides to make sure the kid doesn’t start playing with it when he isn’t looking.

MEANWHILE

Ahsoka has figured out that she was really very oh-so wrong. She’s on Mandalore. As in, the Mandalore that is under Jango Fett. Bc she’s with Jango Fett. He’s holding her hand bc she was nervous about the strange looking medic (who was just wearing armor, but not clone armor and civies don’t wear armor.)

Ahsoka knows very little about Jango Fett. Clone Buir, Mandalorian leader, tried to kill Master Kenobi. Also dead.

He asks how she got in. She shrugs. She is too small to fight back so she can’t let him know anything. Whatever everything is right now. But also, he doesn’t seem mean or evil or anything.

Oh yeah. Skyguy said that Mandos love children. That's why the clones were so protective of her, even with Skyguy on her side of the argument.

She decides to use this to her advantage. She can probably get herself a comm, and enough time to call the Temple. If she can convince them she at least knows a Jedi, then they can come get her and she'll work from there.

ELSEWHERE

Rex and Cody are getting really upset. This Duchess is really nice, but she's acting really weird and keeps insisting she's not actually called Duchess. No one will give them a comm, they keep getting weird looks for speaking Mando'a even though they're on Mandalore, and Satine's father keeps mentioning a Fett. Maybe Boba's set a bad example again.

Rex starts to fall asleep, to his chagrin. He's too bored, sitting and getting some abnormally extensive check-up. Cody is fine, but he's used to the calm that is General Kenobi. Rex usually has a Togruta teen in the vents and a Human that is never where he's supposed to be.

Rex does, in fact, fall asleep. His "twin" starts glaring when a doctor goes to wake him up. Cody makes it clear that his brother is like Cat: once asleep, you do not wake.

Satine is giggling, but trying not to let the others hear. Cody does. Cody looks at her. They have a stare-off.

Cody goes back to glaring at the doctors. He will not admit to any emotions besides Protect™.

BACK TO

Obi-Wan and Ben have made it to Tatooine.

[dahliia04]

Minho meta what’s up

It’s no secret that Minho is my favorite character, so yeah I'm probably a little biased. but like, consider, he (book version).

Like most of the gladers, Minho is a kid who was forced to grow up too fast. However, with him, Alby, Newt, and most likely the other Keepers, he quickly had to adapt to also be the leader of boys practically his same age. The way I put it together, the Glade hierarchy goes: Alby → Newt → Minho → other Keepers → other Gladers → Greenie. Alby and Newt’s positions are canonically stated, and I might be wrong on Minho but I think he’s third because of his tattoo (A-7, the Leader). Thomas later comes to shake this up, but that’s how it begins.

The average age of the gladers is around 13-18, with the leaders being some of the oldest. So, let’s place Minho around 17-18, 14-15 when he first entered the Glade. Let’s also say that it took a year to stabilize the situation and form the hierarchy, so I’m going to say Minho became a leader around age 15-16.

Do you guys know what 16 year old boys are like? My best friend is one. They’re not meant for leadership, not in a bad way, but because they’re still kids. Teenage boys deserve to mess around, laugh and joke, not have adult responsibilities. Minho, however, is partially in charge of keeping 50-60 (according to Thomas) teen boys alive, and a smaller group he’s totally in charge of in the Maze.

The conditions in the Maze were terrible for keeping teenagers alive. You have to run in the sun, be careful to avoid death traps, and come back exactly on time every day or face a death sentence. This is where Minho is in charge, and he does his job well.

Think about the effect on him, though. If he messes up and someone dies, Minho’s gonna blame that on himself, because he leads the boys.

From the books, though, we get a good view of Minho’s personality. He’s playful and sarcastic, so much that Thomas can’t discern his teasing voice from his normal one. He’s silly, making jokes like “kicking Thomas’ pony-loving butt,” but he is mature, which we can see not only in his leadership position but also in other times. For example, when Thomas cries in the maze, Minho (a teenage boy) doesn’t make fun of him, doesn’t even mention it. He knows what Thomas’ been through, and instead of laughing it off as a joke to lighten the mood, he lets Thomas cry.

He’s not a perfect leader, though. Minho is impulsive and quick to anger, leading to situations where Thomas and Newt have to cool off the situation (like the whole Jorge situation where Minho throws punches and asks later and almost gets killed.)

Because of the perspective (Thomas’) we don’t really see Minho’s internal emotional reactions to anything. Because of his responsibilities versus personality, though, I think he probably compartmentalizes things severely, perhaps doesn’t even relate “Leader Minho” to “Glader Minho,” which we see a bit in TST when Minho shrugs off the “leader” tattoo, insisting that Newt is the obvious leader of the Gladers. He knows that’s his identity, but doesn’t really think about it as himself.

In instances when he’s really in that leader personality, though, he loses the playful aspect. For example, in TDC, when he goes into a “stupor” before snapping out of it, and changes his usual sniping-all-the-time personality for a serious tone, where he’s ready to do whatever it takes to get WICKED out of Thomas’ head.

With all of this in mind, I think Minho could possibly have C-PTSD. I’m not a professional, so I don’t say anything with confidence, but considering what all of the Gladers have gone through, I don’t think it’s unrealistic that most of them have trauma and mental issues because of it, especially those assigned as leaders. This sets up an interesting premise for (what could’ve happened >:|) in the Safe Haven. They all decide to live in a forest, and as Thomas says, Minho takes charge while Thomas watches, not wanting responsibility. Out of all of the adults, Minho is the one to buckle down and get shit done (I’m absolutely being snippy, Dashner, what the hell), “his trademark smirk missing”. For now, that personality is needed, as they organize and form a life. How will that fare once they are settled? None of the Gladers are shown to talk about feelings or a lot of their inner thoughts, especially not Minho, so you know he’d try to bottle it all up and go through it alone.

But in peaceful times, the constant watchfulness and anxiety of his protective personality would build up, likely leading to outbursts over the smallest thing needed to tip him over the edge. Hopefully, then someone would realize that all of the survivors are struggling, and get them the help they need, and they could actually talk about their trauma instead of just kissing girls and moving on.

I’m not saying Minho has split personalities, because obviously people’s personalities shift with different situations, and yeah you could say I’m overanalyzing. What I’m saying is Dashner set up all of these complicated strings about the mental health of the Gladers and the implications of all they’ve gone through and then just. Didn’t deliver. Sent them all to paradise. Fast-forwarded 73 years. Gave them descendants. Killed them off-page. Festive times.

Anyway yeah TMR is filled with opportunities to explore mental health and its effects so I’m picking up the pen (keyboard?) where Dashner left it. Look forward to movie!Minho in the future.

[kim-miri]

HALF(have a little fun) pt. iv

→ one | two | three

→ Sayomi Zoldyck is the eldest child and twin sister to Illumi, of the renowned Zoldyck family of assassins. At the age of ten she’s taken away to Meteor City by her mother, Kikyo Zoldyck, unbeknownst to the rest of the family, as well as newborn Killua, and left to fend for herself. This is the story of the long-lost Zoldyck and those she becomes acquainted with, all while she just wants to have a little fun.

» part four / ?

» pairing: eventually - chrollo x oc x feat. hisoka

» warnings: swearing, blood/violence

» a/n: helloo~ this is my first write ever, and it’ll probably be a pretty long series. I’m also balancing school and a part-time job so forgive me for slow updates! If you’re reading this, thank you so much for showing interest and please leave comments below with your inputs!

» word count: 3,118

☾iv.

Name: Sayomi Zoldyck 小夜美 | "小" is small | "夜" is night | "美" is beauty |

Hair color: White

Eye Color: Purple

Nen: Manipulator (same exact abilities as Illumi)

Abilities: Same as Illumi Zoldyck - Body Alteration, Hypnotic Spell, Corpse Control, Needle People, Katana

☾iv. part iv: the mafia(1/2)

The ambience within the car was calm, or at least a calm for the situation at hand. 

Sayomi was curious about what kind of job she was being forced into, but at the same time, she wanted to maintain her composed facade by staying quiet.

She decided to start with a subtle question. “So… who exactly are you guys anyway?”

The man seated next to her answered without an ounce of hesitation, “The mafia.”

Well, shit. So much for a subtle question.

Sayomi was thrown off by the man’s response for the first time since they’d showed up.

The mafia… what would they want with a nobody from Meteor City? 

Her parents had often spoken of the Mafia. They had a reputation of harboring no-name assassins who’d overrun the market with their skill and mass numbers. 

No names… Mother once said that the most notorious criminals hailed from the dumps in Meteor City. Because… their records didn’t exist! They couldn’t be traced, but I wasn’t born there. Do they know that?

Sayomi was on edge now, having a vague idea of what they might be planning to do with her. “What, am I gonna be one of the Mafia’s little assassins now?”

The man smirked at her quick deduction abilities. “You’re a bright one I see, Sayomi Zoldyck.” His tone had roughed up at her last name.

He knows. 

“Well, seeing that you know who I am. You should also be aware that my family would never let me work for another group, right?”

He moved in his seat, turning to face her slightly as he sensed a long conversation. “And that’s why they left you here? Because they care about you?”

She grimaced at the hard truth behind his words.

In an attempt to hide her deflating ego, she replied an icy tone, “Don’t make assumptions. You people know nothing about my family.”

The man let out a monotonous laugh. “Ms Zoldyck, I’m not trying to start a fight here. We didn’t take you to use against your family or anything of that sort. We simply came to recruit our next line of assassins...  and what a coincidence! The family we were following called one day to say they had a proposal for us, and that’s where you came in. It was just the luck of our draw that you happened to stumble upon the exact family of who would’ve been our next assassin.”

Ayame. 

The man continued, “So please, rest assured we will not attempt to harm you or notify your family of your whereabouts. That would only be bad for both of us, correct?”

Sayomi nodded in defeat. She hadn’t stopped to think about the possibilities of her captors being a group so far up the food chain.

It’s true I don’t exactly want to go back home anyway. Maybe I’ll stick around and see what happens.

Sayomi closed her eyes as she leaned up against the cool glass of the window. Her head was throbbing from the sudden onset of overwhelming information, and all she wanted now was to let herself drift off into sleep.

Noting the lack of words from the teen beside him, the man made quiet movements to revert back to his original position, opting to stare out the window as the remainder of the car ride went without another word.

Deep in her dreams, Sayomi felt an emotion she hadn’t experienced since she was abandoned. 

Happiness.

☾ iv.

Inside Sayomi’s dreams.

Sayomi looked down at herself to see she was wearing the kimono she had on the day her mother left her. There’s no way it could still fit her now, having grown almost half a foot, but there she was.

Fine, black silk ran elegantly down her shoulders, arms, and body. The silver accents shone like moonlight reflecting off of her form, while a shocking violet color made up the wrap around her waist.

“Sayomi! Get your head out of the clouds! If I beat you this time I’m taking your new daggers!”

Her head whipped up at the familiar squeaky voice. “Illumi?” she mumbled.

At the sound of his name, the boy turned back towards her, mid-run. The wide smile on his face was replaced by a frown as he noticed Sayomi’s perplexed expression.

Sayomi said nothing, however, only running towards her twin as she reached out to envelop her ever 10 year old brother in a hug.

But upon contact with Illumi, he vanished into thin air, taking the familiar scene of the courtyard away with him.

In a split second, she was back in Meteor City. 

Sayomi blinked twice before slumping down into the sickening piles of junk and filth, sobbing as the absence of her other half sparked her back into reality.

“Ms Zoldyck”, a man’s voice echoed through her dreams.

“Ms Zoldyck”, once again and she opened her eyes-

☾ iv.

Sayomi blinked several times, spotting the reflection of herself slumped against the car door in the window. 

It was much brighter now, the sun having risen far overhead while she had been asleep.

She squinted at the scenery whizzing by outside the window, sighing in defeat when she failed to recognize her new surroundings.

“Good Morning Ms Zoldyck. We have about a half an hour left to our destination.” 

Bidding a slurred ‘good morning’ to the voice in return as she stretched her limbs, a weight dropped in her chest as she remembered why she was here.

Making use of the time left before her arrival, Sayomi attempted to wake herself further as she mentally prepared for the events to come.

15 more minutes in, and the nature that made up the scenery outside began to clear as Yorknew City came into view.

Worries aside, Sayomi stared at the rapidly approaching city in awe. She had yet to have visited Yorknew City, as her parents had felt she wasn’t ready for the big jobs yet. 

But now she faced the megacity at last. She couldn’t help but feel excited at the thought of being in the bustling city of Yorknew on her own.

She was like a teenager who had snuck out to the mall while her parents were at work. 

There was something so exhilarating about going against her parents’ words, even if it was unintentional. In the back of her mind, she felt crazy for cracking a smile in the situation she was in, but the 16 year old side of her ignored it as she let herself enjoy the moment.

Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought.

☾ iv.

Arriving at their destination, the three black cars pulled up in front of a luxurious hotel.

Sayomi looked up at the building in awe, her breath fogging up the glass as she gaped at the forever extending floors of the hotel.

The driver of her designated car stepped out, followed by the man on her left. 

Rounding about the back of the car, the man opened the door on Sayomi’s side, gesturing for her to exit the vehicle.

She quickly obliged, slinging her katana over her shoulder as the men from the other two cars accompanied her into the lobby.

Sayomi was once again awestruck by the interior of the hotel, everything around her seeming to scream ‘high-class’ and ‘wealthy’. It was a stark contrast to the rags she wore, having no other clothes besides the now tiny kimono she’d left back at Meteor City.

Although the mansion was without a doubt far larger and much pricier than the hotel in which she stood, Sayomi was mesmerized by the people, walking around or sitting in groups, their friendly bonds shining through the crowds.

Back at home, Sayomi’s only ‘friends’ had been Illumi and the butlers. She had yet to experience what it was like to have real friends, her parents seeing them only as a distraction to her job.

She was pulled away from her thoughts as one of the men nudged her to keep walking, the group making their way to the elevators. 

Stopping in midway through the hall in wait of an elevator, the man who had been sitting next Sayomi in the car spoke up, “Welcome to your new temporary home, Ms Zoldyck.”

Home? I get to stay in this classy hotel? 

The man broke through her thoughts once again, “As I told you before, as long as you behave and prove to be a valuable asset to us, we will treat you with the utmost respect.”

Sayomi made brief eye contact with the man, still wary of the offputting kindness they were showing her. Nevertheless, she nodded, not wanting to ruin the rare opportunity.

A loud ding signified the arrival of their elevator, and the same man accompanied Sayomi into the elevator, the rest of the members turning to head back out of the building. 

Inside the elevator, the man held two buttons down at the same time, the top two floors: 49 and 50. Sayomi tilted her head, curious of the maneuver. “Why two floors?” she asked.

The man looked over his shoulder at her, raising his eyebrows at her question.

“It’s a secret floor. For the Mafia and our hired assassins. Just above the 50th floor.”

Sayomi’s mouth formed a round O, clearly impressed by the revelation of a secret floor. Just how influential are these people? They have their own floor and everything.

The two of them waited in silence for the remainder of the time, only moving when the elevator arrived at their floor. 

Sayomi followed the man out into the hallway ahead, mindlessly reading the different room numbers as they passed her by. 5102… 5104… 5106… 5108-

“Alright Ms Zoldyck, this will be your room for the time being. Inside you’ll find a uniform along with any other supplies you’ll be needing while we’re here. I’ll come back in about half an hour to get you started on the job, so in the meantime please change into the uniform and get settled.” And with that, the man handed Sayomi a room key while explaining how the elevators were locked, meaning she couldn’t escape.

Accepting the room key, Sayomi hummed in agreement before entering her new room.

Room # 5110

Two steps into the room, her heart raced with excitement at the view in front of her. 

The room itself wasn’t the impressive part, being a small square with a bed and bathroom. It was the view from the large window in front of her that made her exclaim in delight.

Having grown up on Kukuroo mountain with only the occasional trip to the outside world, the vast city and its bustling streets made Sayomi swoon, her heart restless for a chance to explore the beautiful city.

Noticing the uniform hanging in the closet as mentioned, Sayomi made quick work to change into the fresh set of clothes, ditching her rags.

It was a classic black suit with black dress shoes, matching the clothes of the men that had accompanied her here from Meteor City. The change in outfits restricted the usual placement of her band of needles, and she opted to tuck the band into her pocket instead. 

A knock on her door interrupted the silence, as the man asked through the door if she was ready to begin the job.

She replied with a “yes”, moving to sling her katana over her shoulder as she exited the room.

☾ iv.

“When we don’t have specific targets for you, this will be your job.” the man started to say.

Sayomi stared at the walkie talkie now in her hands. 

“You’ll be staged as a bodyguard for the VIPs that visit the hotel. It’s nothing hard, just a deal we keep with the management to keep our floor up here a secret” he continued.

She nodded in understanding. A bodyguard, huh. Maybe I’ll at least get some action this way.

“Ah, right. The walkie talkie I gave you will notify you of incoming VIP clients. All you have to do is accompany them with your assigned team to their room, where you’ll stand guard either inside or outside. 50 percent of the time the VIP will have a few assassins after them, but the other 50 percent stay and go with no problems.” He started walking back up the hall to the elevators.

Sayomi followed closely behind, asking a question once she stepped into the elevator. “For those 50 percent- the ones targeted by assassins, I mean. Is it fair game to kill their attackers?”

The man laughed out loud. “But of course, disposing of any attackers would only mean a safer client. Do as you wish as long as the VIP’s safety is ensured.”

The assassin blood that ran through Sayomi’s veins was bleeding through. It seemed her inevitable instinct to kill would always resurface, no matter how sympathetic or innocent she tried to become.

Back down at the hotel’s lobby once again, Sayomi now blended in with the numerous other bodyguards dressed in black suits. 

Sayomi’s escort pointed towards the main entrance of the hotel. “Ms Zoldyck, you’ll be stationed with Team 3 over by the fountain right outside. Introduce yourself or don’t, just stand posted until your team is dispatched through the walkie talkies.”

Before she could even respond, the man took off walking back to the elevators, leaving Sayomi to find her way to her post.

Wow, alright then.

Sneering at the man’s abrupt exit, Sayomi tied back her hair, taking a second to compose herself before walking out to the fountain to join her team.

Finding the line of bodyguards quite literally stationed in front of the fountain, the man’s instructions echoed in her head as she decided on the latter, keeping from introducing herself.

The team now had 6 members with the addition of Sayomi, and the others took a moment to size up their new member.

Sayomi did likewise, glancing down the row of suit-clad bodyguards. There were 4 men and 1 other woman, all of them looking to be around their mid-20s. 

Talk about a let down, they’re all at best D-ranked assassins.

Unimpressed at the lack of powerful auras amongst her new allies, Sayomi’s shoulders slumped as she turned to face the busy street with a lack of enthusiasm.

Figuring out a way to pass the time, Sayomi settled for analyzing the hundreds of people that walked by. She was curious about the so-called urban culture she had heard so much about from Ayame back in Meteor City.

Though Sayomi wasn’t completely detached from society, she had still spent a large portion of her life either trapped in the mansion or, recently, in Meteor City. This being, she was fascinated by the little things, such as the different types of clothing people in the city wore, or the billboards and neon signs that began to light up the streets as evening fell upon Yorknew City. 

I wonder what I’d look like if I wore a dress like that… nah but it’s probably impossible to run in anyway.

Looking down at the modest outfit she wore and back to the woman passing by wearing a rather revealing dress, she pouted. 

It must be nice to be able to enjoy the nightlife in a city like this. Maybe when i’m older-

The static sounds of her team’s walkie talkies cut through her thoughts, finally dispatching their assignment for the next few days.

“Team 3. VIP client Adachi Yuto is arriving in less than one minute. The vehicle is a black Maserati and the assigned room will be 4823. Current stay will be 3 days.” 

In unison, Sayomi and the rest of the team straightened their postures, now on alert while they awaited the VIP’s arrival.

Right on time at about a minute later, a black Maserati pulled up to the curb in front of the team. A few of the members began walking towards the car, and the rest including Sayomi followed suit.

The driver opened the door to the backseat in front of them, and a man looking to be in his early 20s stepped out, thanking the driver. 

Must be the VIP.

Her fellow bodyguards started to move almost automatically, forming a circle around the young man. Sayomi quickly found her spot in the formation, walking behind the VIPs right side as the group made their way into the hotel.

Her team seemed to be far experienced, as they walked straight to the elevators without another word or break in formation. It was a silent trip up to floor 48, the VIP remaining occupied on his phone for the entirety of the ride.

Once arriving at room 4823, one of the bodyguards finally spoke, addressing the VIP. “Mr. Yuto, would you like any of us to accompany you inside?”

The VIP politely declined, only looking up from his phone to briefly thank the team for their hard work.

With the VIP turning in for the night, the 3 day timer began for the team. They would take turns in pairs, staying posted outside the VIP’s room, the others going to get rest before switching in once again. 

One of the men volunteered to take the first shift, along with the other woman in group, leaving the rest of them to rest until their shifts came around. 

Sayomi was paired with one of the remaining men to take the next shift. He was a stocky, sturdy-looking man, most likely one of the older members of the group from the signs of age evident in his facial features. 

Agreeing to come back around to the post 15 minutes prior to their shift, the two returned to their rooms on the 51st floor.

☾ iv.

Sayomi flopped down onto her bed upon returning to her room.

Man, this job is getting boring already. 

Glancing at the clock on the wall, she decided to get some rest while she could. She had about 4 hours until the shift change, her break being in the most inconvenient time frame. 

Sayomi’s shift would be in the dead of night, from 1 am to 5 am. 

Not bothering to move underneath the blankets or even untie her hair, Sayomi fell into a deep sleep with her legs dangling off the side of the bed. Her mind and body were both exhausted from the day’s past events, and all she wanted now was to move on from what’d already occurred. 

Because the past isn’t important… right?

That’s what she chose to believe for now, but she also knew in the back of her mind that sooner or later the past would come back and find her. 

☾ iv.

to be continued.

a/n: my taglist is open!

[sailorbadger]

The Fandom’s Least Favorite Character - an analysis on Kate

Kate is probably the most hated character in the Robin Hood fandom. Not even probably, she is the one who consistently gets the most hate. So, what has she done? Did she commit several murders? Did she kill off a beloved character? Did she do something so problematic that she deserves to burn in hell? Did she do war crimes? No, her biggest sin is existing among unfair circumstances.

The title of this post is kind of a lie. This analysis is not really about Kate as a character, but about how she is written, how the narrative presents her and how this all affects the fandom’s treatment of her. I started writing this because I am sick of seeing so much unnecessary hate for Kate. This is just me commenting on larger trends I have witnessed and a decade’s worth of frustrations finally being written out. If you do recognize yourself from some of my descriptions, I hope that this post will give you something to think about, but just know that this is not meant for any one person in particular.

I’m not going to try to convince anyone to think of Kate as their favorite character. I’m not even trying to make anyone like her. I’m just trying to see why she is so hated within the fandom. So, let’s start off with how it all began. Grab some snacks, you’re going to need them; this is a long one.

 Introduction: Is it all Merlin’s fault?

To understand the context in which Kate was introduced to the show, let’s first look at where we left off at the end of season 2. I’ll start with the in-universe changes first. The biggest change obviously is that Gisborne murdered Marian. This altered the whole course of the show. Marian was such a central part of not only the show but also the Robin Hood legends, that at that point it was obvious that things were going to change. Will and Djaq left the show as well. Them leaving is not as dramatic of a change for the show’s narrative since they were not as central as Marian, but they did make up one third of the gang. This meant that there was a need for new characters to be introduced in season 3.

In our world, things changed between seasons 2 and 3 as well. There was a larger gap in production than before (with seasons 1 and 2 coming out in consecutive years and there being a gap year between seasons 2 and 3), and some of the people working on the show left or were replaced. Robin Hood’s spot on the BBC schedule was taken over by Merlin for 2008 so I guess we could blame that show for everything that went wrong in season 3. (I’m obviously joking here but conspiracy theories are welcome.)

The most important change in my opinion – and I think this is even more important to how season 3 turned out than anything that happened in-universe in season 2 – is the fact that Dominic Minghella was no longer writing or producing the show. It’s surprising to me that the fandom as a whole doesn’t ever really talk about this, when in many other fandoms creators or showrunners leaving the show are usually a big deal and mark the end of an era. I myself only found out about Minghella’s departure from the show before season 3 this year, but it seems to explain a lot on why season 3 felt so different from seasons 1 and 2.

With all that out of the way, the stage is set, and it is time to look at how exactly Kate came into the show.

 Six boots, two feet

Season 3 starts off with my least favorite episode of the whole show (see my episode ranking for more details). It tries its best to address the events of the season 2 finale, but in a way that will let it quickly get to the season 3 storylines. Unfortunately, the things that happened at the end of the previous season were so important that they would have needed several episodes to cover the full impact of the events.

Kate herself is introduced in episode 2. She is immediately given a reason to hate the villains and join the fight when her brother dies. She doesn’t join the outlaws right away, but when she does, she essentially has to take over three roles at once. I do not think it’s a coincidence that I think episode 4 is Kate’s best episode and that she’s at her best before she actually joins the gang. That is the point in the show when she is allowed to be her own character rather than someone who is trying to fill a void.

Like I said, Kate has three roles to take over; she gets Djaq’s spot in the gang as “the girl one”, Will’s role as “the peasant with personal connections to the people’s suffering” (and interestingly, since Kate’s family is around, her connection could have been even stronger than Will’s) and Marian’s as “the love interest”. Since the season 2 finale got rid of both of the only female characters in the show, it was inevitable that they would eventually be replaced if the show wanted to include any romantic storylines (it was, after all, 2009, so queer representation was out of the question). With three pairs of boots to fill, and only two feet, it should not come as a surprise to anyone that Kate can’t possibly do it all alone. The show does introduce Tuck and Isabella as well to help fill the gaps, but I think Kate gets labeled as “the replacement” far more often than the other two.

 A triangle without a base is just an angle

Kate had all the potential for a good plotline. Her brother died, making her hungry for revenge, yet this part of her is only sprinkled in every now and then instead of being a part of her character arc. Instead, she is made a part of not one, not two, but three love triangles.

I’ll start with the Much/Kate/Allan one. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t actually exist. All sides of this “triangle” are… weird. The writers try to frame it as a legitimate love triangle, when only one person in it seems to have any real feelings for another character. Much is shown to be interested in Kate, but we as the audience are never given a reason for why he likes her or even how he fell for her. I guess we’ll just have to take his “I fall in love very easily” (from 2x4) quite literally. Kate does not seem to have any romantic feelings for Much, and she seems oblivious to his feelings as well.

To be honest, I don’t think Kate ever really saw Allan as an option either. At best I could admit that maybe she had a slight attraction to him, but I never got the impression that it was something she would seriously pursue. I don’t think Allan was seriously interested in Kate either. His flirting with her is quite similar to his joke-y flirting with Marian and Djaq. My friend and I talked at length about this, but Allan doesn’t seem like the type of person to flirt for real. This could be a whole analysis on its own, so I won’t go too deep into it here. But I don’t think Allan considers Kate a legitimate romantic option.

So, this “love triangle” only exists in Much’s head and in the narrative the writers try to force on the audience. The Kate/Allan side of it is practically dropped the minute Kate/Robin becomes a thing.

Then there is the Much/Kate/Robin/Isabella triangle that is not a triangle either. I already covered Much/Kate for the most part, so I won’t go into it. Since the Robin/Isabella relationship is not that central to Kate’s character, I won’t bore you and myself by going through it that deeply. The buildup for that relationship is practically nonexistent, and so is the end of it. The whole Robin/Isabella relationship feels forced, because the writers didn’t know how to properly replace Marian while coming up with something new.

Kate’s crush on Robin seems to develop out of nowhere as well. It looks like a pattern when it comes to romances this season. Robin himself doesn’t appear to have any romantic interest towards Kate until he and Isabella “break up”. After that point, their relationship progresses way too fast. It doesn’t help that they seem to have no chemistry between them, and Robin treats Kate like a child and then five seconds later proceeds to make out with her.

Honestly, if Kate had to have a romance with a character on the show (and with it being 2009 obviously they could not fulfil my dreams of Kate being bi but that’s beside the point), it should have been with Archer. The two of them had more chemistry in the 30 seconds they worked together in 3x12 than Robin and Kate had the entire season. It would have also made me far less uncomfortable, since the characters would have been closer in age. Which brings me to my next point.

 “There is only one thing worse than a rapist – a child”

How old is Kate supposed to be? Seriously, this show can’t seem to make its mind about her. In general, I do not trust anyone’s age on this show unless it’s been stated somewhere. I know some people try to base the characters’ ages on the actors’ real ages, but to that I say, “fuck that”. Archer is the best example of the fact that this show did not even try to cast people who are the right age, or even look the part. (Seriously, he does not look even close to being 20.)

That being said, Kate is written like she is both 15 and 25 at the same time. I don’t know if the writers had a specific age in mind when they were writing her, but there is a huge difference between those ages. I think it’s the most reasonable thing to assume that she’s in her late teens, maybe at most in her very early twenties. She is still living with her family (I know that most women at the time married in their 20s but it’s not like this show is concerned with historical accuracy) and her behavior is a little immature at times. With all that said, I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone that I find it incredibly uncomfortable that all the men that are presented as possible love interests to her are fully grown men.

It is the most obvious in Robin and Kate’s scenes. Like I said earlier, Robin treats Kate like a child and speaks to her in a condescending way, only to then make out with her in the same scene. I must wonder why the writers didn’t just age up Kate. I think it would have been more interesting to make her someone who is already married, and instead of losing her brother, it would be her husband that dies. Of course, I would prefer it if Kate didn’t have to be a part of any of these love triangles to begin with but aging her up would have made the dynamics far less uncomfortable. (I do have to also point out the fact that Meg is also written like she is a teen girl. The show then tries to pair her off with Gisborne, who is even older than the men Kate is being forced into love triangles with. So… yikes.)

 Let’s take a break, drink some water

Let’s take a moment to recap what we’ve learned here. First of all, Kate entered the show in unfair circumstances and with only two feet to fill three pairs of boots. She was only ever allowed to be a part romance plots, and she didn’t get a proper character arc of her own. In general, the women in this season were not written well (not that seasons 1 and 2 were the height of feminist television either), and they were reduced to being love interests or tools to further the male character’s plotlines. Without Dominic Minghella involved and with a full year between seasons 2 and 3, the show lost some of its charm. Unfortunately, this meant that Kate was not the best written character. But I do not think she deserves all the hate the fandom has given her over the years.

 Interlude: Doctor Death

Before I get too much into how the fandom has reacted to Kate over the years, I feel like I should explain my own history with this show and the fandom surrounding it.

I started watching the show when it was first airing here on TV. It was some time during season 2, and once I had seen my very first episode, I watched all the following ones as well. With the finale, there was a problem. I had seen 2x12 and knew that the final episode of the season would air the next week. I was so excited for it, but then my mother decided that we would all go out and have dinner. I kept looking at the clock all day, hoping I would make it home in time. I got home just to see the credits rolling. I’m still a little bitter about it.

After this, I was desperate to see how the season ended. I’ll remind you that this was before it was common for shows to be put online officially. Streaming wasn’t really a thing yet. I did the only thing I knew what to do; I went to YouTube. The thing is, I did not know that what I had been watching was the second season of the show. So, you can imagine my confusion, when I find the very grainy version of 1x13 on YouTube and start watching it. Eventually I figured out my mistake and watched 2x13. At some point I watched season 1 as well, but I honestly don’t have that many memories of when I first watched this show. My clearest memory is being betrayed by my own mother when she forced me to go out for dinner.

Since I do not remember what year this all happened in, I did some googling and if I’m correct, season 2 aired here for the first time in the summer of 2009, with reruns in the summer of 2010. Because I have no other memories for context, I can’t say whether or not season 3 was even out in the UK at the time. Anyway, I did not watch season 3 for a few years. I also didn’t engage with the fandom until 2012, when I joined Tumblr. (A side note: while trying to find out when season 2 aired, I found the episode titles and descriptions. Apparently 2x4’s Finnish title was Doctor Death. There were some real gems on that list but this one was my favorite.)

Over the years, I had read bits and pieces about season 3 on the internet. I was still upset about the end of season 2, and the things I read did not make me want to watch season 3. Sometime in 2012-2013 I finally gave in and watched season 3. I was mostly disappointed by the season as a whole, and as for Kate specifically, I found her annoying. In the fandom, I went along with the Kate-hate that was popular in the fandom at the time.

I did a full rewatch of the show with my friend in 2016–2017. During that time, I didn’t hate Kate as much as I did before. Maybe it was that I had a fresh perspective, maybe it was that I had matured in those few years. Who knows? I was mostly disappointed by the bad writing. Even back then, I wished that Kate had been given a proper chance.

The next proper rewatch of the whole series I did was this past winter. I watched the show in a non-chronological order with someone who had never seen it before. This time, I was angry at the writers and found myself half-ironically becoming a Kate-stan. I also began to really pay attention to how the fandom has talked about her over the years and was unnerved by the hate has she gotten.

So, here we are. Time to take a look at how the fandom has treated Kate. Most of this will be based on my own experiences and memories, so if someone else has a different point of view to offer (especially from the early days of the fandom while the show was still ongoing), feel free to comment! I just wanted to give you my own history with the fandom to show that I have indeed been around for most of the fandom’s history.

 The hate-train for Kate-town leaves from platform 4

It seems that from the very beginning, Kate was disliked. I remember reading negative comments about her way back in the early 2010s (I would try to look for examples, but I just spent 30 minutes trying to find out when season 2 first aired here and it’s currently 1am so I am not spending any more time googling right now). There are fics that make fun of her and how badly she was written, and most of the jokes and dislike about season 3 seem to always come back to her. This attitude has been present in the fandom in other contexts as well. Over the years, the hate towards Kate has come and gone along with the popularity of the fandom.

Every once in a while, someone has tried to either write Kate better or even see her as a character that was let down by the writers. Mostly this has not led to any significant change in the fandom’s attitudes. I feel like whenever some of the older fans outgrow their Kate-hate by either just maturing and realizing it’s pointless or just not wanting to waste their time making fun of her, new fans come in and start the whole thing all over again.

I am grateful, however, that the general consensus in the fandom seems to be (at least in the year 2021) that the actress is not to blame for Kate’s faults. It still does make me uncomfortable that people go so far as to cross out her face on pictured etc. just to show how much they hate the character. This hate that Kate gets feels very misogynistic at times and is at least partially the result of the show’s misogynistic writing, but the actress deserves no negativity for playing Kate.

 What about Isabella?

One thing that is very interesting to note is that while both Kate and Isabella were newcomers in season 3 and were both replacements for Marian in the sense that they were love interests for Robin, only Kate has received a significant amount of hate over the years. So why does the fandom not hate Isabella?

I think that a big reason for why Isabella is tolerated – not necessarily liked, I haven’t seen too many people genuinely enjoying her character – better than Kate is the way the narrative treats them. Kate is essentially forced down our throats. The show is so desperate for us to like her that they end up making her unlikeable. Isabella, on the other hand, is eventually made into a villain, and thus we’re not meant to sympathize with her in the end anyway. (I could write a whole rant about how Isabella’s treatment in the narrative is bad but let’s not do it here.) Isabella also has the advantage of being Gisborne’s sister, so her backstory ties better into already existing characters. I think it’s reasonable to say that Gisborne being a fan-favorite in certain parts of the fandom doesn’t hurt Isabella’s case either.

Isabella is also only involved with Robin, while the show keeps pairing Kate off (unsuccessfully) with almost half the cast. I think she was written in a way that reminds people of Mary Sues, and considering how fandoms tend to not like characters like that, it’s no surprise that Kate got all the hate she did.

 Murder and being annoying – they’re the same thing, right?

So why exactly does the fandom hate Kate so much? Obviously, the writing is a big reason. Season 3 is not written well, which means that Kate is not written well either. She doesn’t really get a storyline of her own, and instead her main purpose is to be someone else’s love interest. I would also add that Kate doesn’t really get hate for her personality. Most of the hate that she gets in terms of character traits revolves around her being annoying, but that’s not really a personality trait. So I think the issue is not her personality, but her role.

The next reason won’t surprise anyone who has spent as much time in fandoms as I have: Fandoms do not like female characters. Well, I should probably rephrase that. Fandoms tend to hate female characters more easily than male characters. I’m not going to analyze too deeply on why this is, as I’m sure someone has already done research on this with references to actual feminist theory. There is a lot of internalized misogyny in fandoms, and female characters get hate for even the slightest wrongdoing, while male characters who commit far worse crimes often have a strong fanbase that will defend them despite these flaws, especially if said male character is played by a conventionally attractive man.

Kate is also blamed for things such as breaking Much’s heart, even though she was never really aware of Much’s feelings in the first place, so it was definitely not intentional. She’s blamed for every small wrongdoing in a way other characters in the show are not. I’ve seen people criticize Kate for small things that she has not even done on purpose. Some of these people then also go on to ignore the fact that Gisborne has committed several murders, taken part in the oppression of the poor and done many many more atrocious things, and paint him as a more sympathetic character than Kate. I understand if you do not like Kate, but it feels misogynistic that the female characters are held to different standards than the male characters. I can already hear some of the Gisborne-fans saying “but I acknowledge his actions and think what he did was wrong! I just find him to be a misunderstood and/or interesting character”. To those people I will just say: Why are you not applying this same logic for Kate? Why are you making outright hateful comments about her? If you don’t like her, why not just ignore her? If you are a Gisborne-fan and have never made these comments about Kate, this obviously doesn’t apply to you. And even if you aren’t a Gisborne-fan, but you do recognize this way of thinking in yourself in regard to some other character, I encourage you to think about it critically. I just used Gisborne as an example since I know he’s perhaps the most popular male character in the fandom (at least if Ao3’s numbers are anything to go by). I’ve also seen a similar attitude from a lot of Allan-fans, though in their case the hypocrisy is often not as obvious, but I’ll return to Allan in a moment.

Many female characters end up getting hate because they get in the way of a popular (often m/m) ship. In this regard, Kate is kind of an outlier since she doesn’t exactly do that, since there isn’t really a ship to get in the way of. Sure, she’s eventually paired off with Robin, but Marian is already dead by the time she shows up, and if people were truly bothered by someone other than Marian trying to get Robin’s attention, they would also hate Isabella with the same intensity. I do think there is one “ship” Kate does come in the middle of, and here’s where we get back to Allan.

Now, the ship Kate does get in the middle of is not in fact canonical. I am of course talking about the popular Allan/OC trope. If you go on Ao3 or Fanfiction.net, you won’t have a hard time finding fics where Allan is paired with an OC. This is understandable, seeing that the show only has four main female characters to begin with, one of whom is already in a love triangle with other people, one of whom canonically ends up with someone else, one of whom is actively hated by the fandom and one of whom just does not interact with Allan.

I want to make it clear that I think it’s fine if people want to come up with their own OCs for the purpose of shipping them with existing characters, it’s just not my thing, especially when those OCs are any level of self-inserts. (I personally don’t feel the need to ship Allan romantically with anyone. I just tend to not like OCs in any fandom.) Since Kate is presented as a potential love-interest for Allan, I think many fans who would rather see Allan with their own character or even themselves view Kate as an obstacle or a threat.

As you may see, this fandom, like many others, unfortunately treats the women in the show differently from the men. Male characters like Gisborne are viewed as redeemable so long as they are attractive, but Kate is irredeemable for… breaking Much’s heart and/or getting in the way of Robin/Marian or Allan/OC? This is something that really bothers me. I don’t mind the fact that people don’t like Kate, it’s the extensive hate she gets that makes me uncomfortable.

 Conclusion: Where do we go from here?

Like I said in the beginning, I am not asking anyone to say Kate is their favorite character or to even like her. I just wanted to provide some things for people to think about regarding how they treat female characters. I think it’s about time the fandom took a proper look at itself and critically thought about how it speaks about female characters. It’s 2021, let’s not hate on female characters just for being a little annoying or getting in the way of shipping.

I haven’t seen the fandom analyze that much why season 3 is the way it is. I would love to see some meta about how Dominic Minghella’s departure and other behind the scenes factors contributed to the story and aesthetics of season 3. I would also love to see some actual analysis on the season 3 characters that isn’t focused on tearing them down. If the fandom never made another post about how terrible Kate is without providing any actual reasons, I would be happy. I can sort of understand this immature hatred coming from 15-year-olds, but I’m disappointed to say that I have seen fully grown adults tearing down Kate in this quite misogynistic way. I know that many people do not intend for their dislike of Kate to come across as misogynistic, but it does not erase the fact that that is how many of those hateful comments appear.

I think Kate had a lot of potential. Season 3 had a lot of potential. It is quite a move to kill Marian in the middle of a Robin Hood story, so they had the chance to take the story to all kinds of places. Unfortunately, the season 3 we ended up with was not of the same quality as the previous seasons. Instead of just hating on the characters or story in general, I think we should focus on really analyzing the season, and even coming up with our own ways of improving it. Many people have already done this (though unfortunately many of these attempts also include thinly veiled hatred towards Kate. It’s your story, why are you not treating her any better than the actual writers of the show?), but there’s always room for more takes.

At this point I will shamelessly advertise my own “Kate should have been the new Nightwatchman” theory and my Nightwatchman-fic. I wrote the latter in a way that would let it be a part of canon if necessary. I think that by refocusing the story and shifting the way we read the text, we can find new aspects of season 3, and perhaps even enjoy it more. That is what happened to me during my latest rewatch, and all it took was watching it in a non-chronological order and talking about it with someone who had never seen the show.  

I’m not trying to gatekeep the fandom and say that only thought-provoking analysis or fix-it fanfiction is allowed. I just feel like people should be more conscious of the message they are sending out when they write hateful comments about Kate, censor her name or even cross out her face from pictures. Is it actually funny? Are you contributing something to the conversation? Is it actual criticism or just hate for the sake of hate? You don’t have to start writing posts in the defense of Kate, but you can just start ignoring her. It’s not that difficult. It’s fine to make jokes, but let’s start thinking about what our jokes say about us.

I once more want to emphasize that this is not a callout post I wrote with any one person in mind. So, if you felt offended when I was talking about Gisborne-fans, Allan/OC-shippers or Kate-haters in general, I can assure you that this post was not about you personally. This is not about any individual person. I’m just commenting on trends in the fandom I have noticed over the years. I don’t think any of you have committed any sins or that you need to be cancelled. I just hope that if you did feel guilty reading this, you’ll realize that maybe this post was something you definitely needed to read. As a woman, I would love it if this fandom worked on getting rid of its internalized misogyny.

I’m not claiming to be right on all of this, in fact I have a lot of bad opinions as well. I hope this post has provided people with things to think about. Feel free to use this as a starting point for your own meta or analysis. I’ll end my rant here, and leave you with this thought:

Kate had a lot of potential to be a good character. She did not let us down. The writers did.

[anxietysroomsupport]

Hypermobile anon here. First, thank you so much. It's just nice to know there's someone here for me. And to give a little more info, I have a serious problem where if I'm not currently in pain. I don't remember how bad it was. I know everybody does this, but my brain literally checked out as I was going to bed recently and I fell on the floor. I nearly forgot to tell my physical therapist.about it because it didn't really hurt. So, I can't do the pain scale very well, and I never remember (1/2)

(2/2) It just makes it sort of hard for pain relief when I don't know I'm going to need it and don't have the energy when I do. Also, on the vitamin subject, I know that I've had vitamin d issues before (bad heat exhaustion and allergy scares = going outside less), bad enough that I was close to being diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I'm not sure about the others, but I do know I'm not amazing healthy, so? I take calcium pills for the vitamin d, though. Again, thank you guys for all your help.

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We just got a bill from my PT place that says we owe money that we can't pay. They told us up front how much it would be with our insurance, and my mom's been paying each time, but it says we owe 177 dollars. Sure, it's not a lot, but we're not rich and trying to send a sibling to college. If we can't get this sorted out. I can't just not go. 10 exercises I can do at home and 5 appointments is not enough to help a chronic disorder. I cant focus and I have practice in 30 mins. -Hypermobility anon

Same day but later when I'm feeling a little better (my director was very supportive though so that's nice), I'd seen the letter and heard my parents talking a bit, but my mom told be as we got to school for rehearsal about PT. I got upset, and I felt bad because I could tell she felt bad because she didn't expect me to be upset, and in the heat of the moment I said "chronic illness" in front of my mom for the first time. She loudly (not quite yelling) (1/?) - Hypermobility anon

said to me "That is the most self-pitying thing I've ever heard. Chronic illnesses are like cancer". Sure, I probably should've said disorder and not illness, but I'm scientifically right. Then I said "It is, it's chronic pain, I am always in pain" and she said "Well then clearly PT isn't helping anyway" - I??? When I went in after 15 minutes after another girl, since we were both there for an hour and a half, I decided to stop trying too much to hide my crying (useful masks) (2/?) -HSD anon

since the other girl was in the hall to eat, and when I managed to explain to the director, she was understanding and nice, and when I said chronic, she said that I should never have to live with that, especially at my age. And when I mentioned not being able to sing at that moment from my crying, she pointed out how I was singing an empowering song that was about standing against the bad stuff in life, and I was perfect for it. I know my mom was just mad, but it just drained me.

Sorry I keep sending asks so often, I just feel like telling someone this. I decided to put 'zebra' in my bio. It's a thing that people with EDS and HSD sometimes like to call themselves. I like it, so even though I just have my name and pronouns, plus a random joke, in my bio, I added it. It just feels like a step in the right direction to remembering that I don't need google to tell me I'm dealing with this every 5 minutes. Accepting it, I guess. :) -HSD anon

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My sleep schedule just keeps getting worse and I think it's my ADHD combined busy days and pain but I just never want to sleep anymore. I can't, I don't want to, and it hurts physically and mentally to just lie there and see if I can fall asleep. 80% sure my circadian rhythm changed to sleep at about 2 am but I get up at 7 and have a chronic disorder that's getting worse because of this I *need sleep*. And I'm so scared I'll mess up, want to make a side blog for it but want to make one (1/2)

for something happy first because I always figured that if I had side blogs they would be ask blogs or for fandoms or whatever. But I got a little better at not caring what other people think, so I haven't really needed one for fandom. But I looked through the tag and felt so comforted by some of the stuff that I just think it would help me. Maybe I'm just extra bad tonight because I went outside but also talked about it a fair amount with a friend I hadn't seen recently who didn't know. -HSD

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I wanna talk to my physical therapist about hip braces because I tried a knee one we have and it honestly helps, but my hips are worst so I wanna see if it would help, but they're pretty expensive. It's hard to find dual hip braces, from what I've seen in my research, and even though one more than the other, both cause me issues. Idk, I'm conflicted, because it could help but is it worth all the effort? Also, even if it's under clothing it's still physical evidence (1/2) -HSD anon

(2/2) of my "invisible" disorder. Also, stopping exercises for a few days because of not feeling well from my covid shot reminded me of just how much time I spend on them, so it's another thing to deal with this. . . Idk, sometimes I just wonder if it would be better to just deal with it. I still have pain anyway, though it might be a little better. Less often, maybe? I don't really remember. It's not stressing at the front of my mind all the time, but the back of it. I'm just conflicted. -HSD

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HSD anon here, idk if I mentioned it in an ask already, but recently I had a small breakdown because I was watching something where a character was in a car accident, as was trying to push through having trouble walking even with a hip brace. After a minute, I registered it and just thought "That could be my future". My joints had already been acting up and then they got worse, so I don't know if it was cause and effect? But I don't exactly know what to call it other than a trigger. (1/2)

Physical and emotional effect, at least I'm assuming on physical because I've had a bad reaction to something similar before, but like, I don't have trauma, I think it's more fear of the future. And I don't want to use trigger incorrectly, it's insensitive to those who actually have triggers. I'm just so confused.

Forgot to sign the last ask with 2/2 and HSD, whoops.

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Hfnsiwk I'm not ready to walk into PT tomorrow and say that I don't think months of PT have been helping but I have no way to be completely sure because for all I know it's the weather since this is the first year I've known/it's been noticeable. Maybe it's just change, I don't know, but it just feels like such a waste of time if it really didn't help. Plus, I'd stop, and while that'd be great, I do enjoy being stronger, even if it didn't help pain. I have 12 hours and a bad pain day idek. -HSD

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Hi Hypermobility Anon,

I think I found all your asks and got them in the correct order.  And found your last ask!

I’m so glad you kept writing in.  I think you should go ahead and make your side blog - you definitely have enough material for it.  Wanting to make a happy side blog also is a great goal to have, but if you don’t know what it will be yet, don’t let that prevent you from doing something you know you want to do and that will probably help you.  

You are dealing with So. Much.  Your mom especially sounds like she just is not ready to accept the situation.  It’s not self-pity to state your actual conditions.  It’s just reality.  

Forgetting about pain is normal, and really all you can do is try to write it down or make some kind of note about it in the moment or immediately after, so you can refer to it later.  Maybe you can track your pain events in your phone notes.

I think your idea to add “zebra” to your bio is a good one, this is part of your life and just something you have to deal with.  It sounds like you’re finding a community for this.  

Sleep schedules are tricky, and feeling like you desperately need to sleep can make it so stressful that it starts a vicious little cycle.  Some strategies to get around this are First, remember that just resting is okay and helpful too, even if you don’t fall asleep.  Letting your body lay there to rest is good for you.  

Second, if you’ve spent several minutes laying down without falling asleep, its okay to get up and walk around, or any small light exercise that’s comfortable for you.  The goal with this one is to get out of the bed for a bit.  It will help your brain to re-learn that the bed is for sleeping only, not for laying awake.  That association can help signal to your brain to start its sleep-process when you get into bed at night.

Third, it’s really common to have a changing circadian rhythm during your teens and twenties.  That’s just a thing that happens and you can’t do much about it, so just try not to worry too much.  Sleep when it feels right and when you can, instead of trying to force yourself to sleep when you’re “supposed” to.  

If hip braces would help you, you should definitely at least mention it to your physical therapist.  You might research online for any used ones as well.  A physical sign that you have pain can have good and bad consequences, but I think the good consequence of being in less pain far outweighs any others.

The triggering event you described is not so much a trigger as it is just a genuinely really upsetting situation.  You related really strongly to the character you were watching, because they’re dealing with similar problems to you, and to problems you could have in the future.  It’s a lot to process.  But while you could potentially be in a car accident, remember that television is made to dramatize events and probably made it seem a lot more difficult and scary than it really would be.   

Since we know you sometimes forget your pain, it’s safe to say that the exercises are helping you manage it, and you say that they’ve made you stronger in general.  Those are good things, and I would recommend you continue the exercises you can do on your own even if you end of ending  your physical therapy sessions.  We don’t know yet if your pain might have gotten even worse without therapy.  You’ll have to find that out on your own if you stop exercising, and then decide whether it’s more worth it to you to continue exercising or to live with the pain.  Whichever you choose, it’s Your choice, Your body.  Take care of yourself. <3

-bun

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note

I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes

Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now

“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u

“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??

“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do

Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’ 

I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That

“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light

“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss

Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh

Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that

“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies 

It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common) 

Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L

“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever 

OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)

Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it

“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG

Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already

I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth 

“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN

“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man

Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this

I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack

“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED 

“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber 

What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you

Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk 

Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????

Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow

This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity

Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy

SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER

Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families

“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops

 “To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me

I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)

JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?

“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood

I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex

“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same 

Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched

Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject? 

“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′ 

Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops

OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE

Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess

Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up 

Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract 

Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass

Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see 

“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable

Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love

“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple 

“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em 

Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo

“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out

HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show

“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD

This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder

“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn: 

The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding

Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life

“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’

Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him

FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE

THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)

“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while

“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights

“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show 

Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women

Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face

“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you

"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring

“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them

Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs 

I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)

Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces

“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔

MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day

“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it 

Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!

The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world

“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes 

“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)

Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!

“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP

Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch

Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride 

Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend 

“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth 

They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it

I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(

“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN

“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one 

In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!

Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will 

Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye

AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh

Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light

Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands 

BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light 

Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH

“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY

Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips 

“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!

“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)

This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰” 

I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone 

“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)

Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao

Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you

“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother

“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER

“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That 

Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables 

Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too

The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook

“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo

It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’

“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful

Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them 

Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭

“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao 

Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao

HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness  

“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami 

I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something 

Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst 

“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK 

Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)

Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it 

Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money

Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling 

How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t 

Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”

Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape 

“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings 

“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail

“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show

“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI

“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater

Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’

“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)

Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔

“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law

This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare

Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you 

“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’) 

As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe

“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)

Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be 

“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid 

Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened

“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute

Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show

Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God

“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer

Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((

Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)

LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”

Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!

Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.

[anxious-logic]

Something New and Beautiful

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 11: Choose any Soulmate AU.

This is kind of a prequel for an endgame LAMP storyline that I thought up a few months ago. People get their soulmate tattoos when they are ready to meet a soulmate/spend the rest of their lives with someone (usually somewhere in their mid/late teens or early twenties). It is black, and when someone else in the relationship gets the tattoo as well it fills in with color. When a soulmate dies, the colored portion turns white.

Ship: Sleepxiety (Remy x Virgil)

Warnings: Very minor very background past character death, bigots being bigots, child neglect, panic attack, I think that’s all but lmk if there’s anything else and feel free to message me for more detailed warnings.

Word count: 1,795

Summary: Remy and Virgil join their school’s GSA. At one of the meetings, they discover something about soulmates that their school never taught them.

“We should join the GSA,” Remy said one say, spread out on Virgil’s bed. Virgil bulled his earbud out, staring at the other boy from where he was curled up in the corner of his bed.

“Y’know, I think I just heard you say that we should join the GSA. But that can’t be right, because you know I have anxiety, and you know better than to make me do something I don’t want to do, especially when it involves other people.”

Remy rolled over to face Virgil. “No, I’m serious, hun. It’d give you a chance to meet new people, and I’d get to flirt to my heart’s content. I’m not saying I’m tired of you, I’m not saying you have to date anyone, I’m just saying that it can be nice to have someone to complain to about me.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, but didn’t immediately argue. Remy seized on the silence.

“C’mon,” he wheedled. “It’d get you out of my house for a bit, and keep you away from yours.”

“Fine,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes and putting in his other earbud.

Remy knew the other boy was actually excited.

***

It was the fourth GSA meeting of the year. Virgil and Remy had made a few acquaintances; they’d begun hanging out with a couple kids named Kai and Elliott.

“Hey everyone!” Joan, one of the GSA leaders, said, to gain everyone’s attention. “Find a seat, and we’ll get started.”

As students sat in the chairs organized in a circle, Talyn, the other leader, spoke up.

“Today we’re going to be talking about soulmates,” they said. “This can be a hard topic for some people. There’s no shame in leaving now, or excusing yourself during the meeting if you decide to stay.”

“Talyn and I are going to stick around for a bit after the meeting,” Joan chimed in. “If you want to talk to one or both of us privately, you can do that then.”

A few people had quietly exited the room while Joan and Talyn were talking. Virgil had noticed one rubbing a mark that had turned white, on the back of xyr hand; another had left clutching the hand of her partner.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” Joan continued. “This is just a topic that can be helpful to talk about for some people.”

Virgil was focusing very hard on not grabbing his mark, which had been filled in with dark blue a quarter of the way about two years ago.

“Let’s start with asking if any of you have marks,” Talyn said. “Again, you don’t have to share anything if you don’t want to.”

About ten of the twenty students present raised their hands. Virgil hesitantly joined them, ducking his head.

“Would anyone like to share their story?” Talyn asked, lacing their fingers with Joan’s. There was a pause when nobody responded, but then Kai raised their hand.

“Um… I can start, I guess?”

Talyn nodded at them to go.

“Uh. I guess… well, I got the mark when my dad got married to my stepmom. I was 15, it was just last year. It didn’t feel like it was a particularly climactic day, or anything- but, yeah. Um, I guess that’s it.”

“Thanks for sharing,” Joan said, fidgeting a bit with their beanie. “Would anyone else like to talk?”

A few other people shared how and when they got their soulmarks – all of them were 13 or older when they had gotten theirs.

Why was I only 6… Virgil couldn’t help but wonder. He… really didn’t think that a six-year-old would be ready for a soulmate. But that’s just the way things are, he reminded himself as he felt Remy’s fingers squeeze his.

“Um, can I go next?” Elliott said. They looked nervous.

“Sure!” Talyn smiled back.

“Um… okay. So… I got my mark young. I was 10.”

The room went completely silent.

“My brother was… a dick, sorry for the language. But… well, he hadn’t been very nice to me. My parents told me they were getting divorced, and I’d probably mostly stay with my mom. I was closer to my dad, so that was really hard to hear.”

They took a deep breath. “That was also when I first started to really question my gender. I was scared, and confused, and everything was changing, and I didn’t feel like I had anyone to talk to. And… I got my mark.”

Their hand wandered to their ankle.

“I always wonder when I would’ve gotten it normally, if I hadn’t been so lonely and needed the support.”

Vrigil froze. “What?” he asked, very, very quietly. The whole room heard him anyway.

“Well- it’s not talked about much, but you can get a mark for two main reasons. The first, which most everyone knows, is that you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with someone. The other reason, which is talked about much less, is that you need someone else; maybe to talk to or spend time with or just to love you. Not necessarily in a romantic way, but just because you feel so alone and helpless.”

Virgil didn’t know who said the words, but he heard them regardless. You need someone else… to love you… because you feel so alone and helpless.

Well, fuck. That made sense now.

He ran out of the classroom, ripping his hand out of Remy’s.

***

4. 7- try again.

4- it’s okay.

4. 7.

Knock knock.

“Hey, Virge? You okay?”

Remy.

Virgil blindly felt for the stall latch, unlocking it and letting the other boy in.

“Hey, you okay?” Remy asked, crouching to get on Virgil’s level. Virgil threw his arms around him in response, feeling the other boy stagger back a bit.

“Whoah,” Remy said, bringing his arms up to rub Virgil’s back. “What’s going on?”

Virgil just shook his head, hiding his face in the crook of Remy’s neck. He breathed in the calming smell of coffee-leather-Remy.

“I’m here,” Virgil heard. “It’s okay.”

He took a few more shuddering breaths, counting them out in his head.

4. 7-again.

4. 7. 8.

4. 7. 8.

4. 7. 8.

He backed up to look Remy in the eyes.

“Hey,” Remy said. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about, gurl?”

Virgil took a deep breath, squeezing Remy’s forearms and looking down.

“Promise you won’t be mad?” he asked.

“Hun, I promise.”

Virgil blew out a breath.

“Okay. So you know how when we got the big talk from the school about soulmarks, I told you I got it when I was 12?”

“Of course,” Remy said. “And then you asked if we could not talk about them anymore. And we haven’t.”

“Yeah,” Virgil replied, carefully studying the collar of the other boy’s jacket. “So… that wasn’t true.”

He ducked his head and shrank back. Remy didn’t respond for a few seconds.

“Um. Okay.” There was a pause. “Can you tell me the truth, then?”

Virgil could hear the hurt that Remy was trying to hold back.

“I got it when I was 6,” he mumbled quietly.

He felt Remy freeze, and looked up to see an expression of pure rage burning behind his eyes.

“Explain. Now,” Remy said, deathly quiet. Virgil gulped.

“Um. My parents… kind of neglected me. I mean, I had food all the time, and a place to sleep, and people to wash the clothes and do the dishes and stuff, but my parents were gone on trips and stuff a lot. I really only saw the housekeeper when they were gone, and he only came over a few times a week.”

Remy’s eyes were flashing, but he didn’t say anything.

“Um… technically, it’s still that way, I guess. I still don’t see them very often. But now I have you, so it’s okay.”

“It’s really not, babe,” Remy said, and took a deep breath. “But your mark?”

“I… um. Honestly, I don’t really know exactly when I got it. It might have been that I got a scrape and nobody was there to tell me it was okay; it might have been that I wanted a snack but couldn’t reach; maybe I was just feeling super lonely that day. I don’t know, I just woke up one day, and… there it was.”

Remy growled slightly, but seemed to catch himself. “So… did you just not know what it was for years? Or what?”

“Thomas – the housekeeper – saw it. He told me what it was, and why I got it. Except… obviously not. Because I wasn’t ready for a soulmate at the age of six. I needed someone. Anyone. And I didn’t have them. So I got my mark. I didn’t know there was another reason you could get soulmarks until today.”

Virgil pulled back to meet Remy’s eyes when he didn’t respond. “You okay?”

“Holy fucking shit I am going to kill your parents,” Remy said. The air around him seemed hot with fury.

“Please don’t,” Virgil said. “If you did that I’d have to live with Aunt Bertha, and you know how much we hate her.”

“No. No more jokes,” Remy cut in. “You don’t get to tell me you were so alone at age six that you got a tat, and then joke about your fucking Aunt Bertha.” He grabbed Virgil’s head, pulling him forward until their foreheads touched. “I promise you,” he continued, voice tight with tears. “I promise that you will never, ever, feel that alone. Ever again.”

Virgil blinked, surprised at the sudden forcefulness, but didn’t pull back.

“Well, thanks,” he said. “But how are you going to do that?”

Remy looked him in the eye, his jaw set and a tear trickling down his face. He seemed to make a decision, nodding suddenly.

“I”ll love you no matter what. I’ll support you. I’ll be there for you. Like a soulmate. Until we both meet ours.”

They were still pressed together forehead-to-forehead. Virgil’s breath hitched.

“I- what?”

“Virgil, will you be my boyfriend?”

Virgil jerked back.

“No. Listen. It’d- it’d help us with the bigots in town, ‘cause we’d be ‘practicing for the soulmate’ or whatever stupid bullshit. And maybe our parents would let us be together more often? And, um. Having someone who I know I can lean on… would be really nice.”

Virgil closed his eyes and counted a breath. Remy’s reasoning was good. It all made sense. And… even though Virgil had soulmates – three, judging by the tat – he never really… expected to meet them.

And maybe you wanted this before today too, a voice whispered. He very quickly stepped on that voice and killed it.

“Okay,” Virgil whispered.

Remy leaned forward, and their lips connected.

[thejustmaiden]

Just bcos u PERCEIVE SessRin as something that promotes pedophilia and grooming doesn't mean that's how the author portrayed it. It's disappointing to see that antis force such idea, as if they know what's inside Rumiko's mind. It is fine if u find sessrin cringey. Just don't force your idea of pedophilia and grooming as THE CORRECT PORTRAYAL OF SESSRIN.

Hello there, nonnie! You had quite the party in my ask box, I see. Breaking it up in parts may actually help me get to the point and address your concerns swiftly and accordingly. Here goes nothing. 😉

This answer is for your first two asks by the way. Firstly, you're putting words in my mouth because I do not view Rumiko as an author who promotes pedophilia and child grooming and never have. She never once placed an ounce of romance into their scenes. Rin was essentially introduced to serve as a catalyst for Sesshomaru's character growth. That's major in and of itself, which is why I'm not sure why she needs to be the mom on top of all that she's already done for him. It was you, Sessrin shippers, who had to go and make it romantic, not us. It was you who took every innocent scene and turned it into a romantic one. You'll even use some of their scenes as proof they will end up together, then back-pedal later and say those very same scenes weren't romantic in order to protect the sanctity of your ship. I mean, which is it? It can't be both, it's either one or the other.

I repeat, NO we don’t actually think Rumiko wanted to portray this relationship with pedophillic or grooming tendencies. It's you shippers who insist there is no other way for their relationship to evolve, as if you speak on behalf of Rumiko. Your interpretation of Rumiko's work is what implies child grooming; she may not be condoning it but your perspective sure is. You talk down to antis who disagree, because in your opinion, your interpretation is not only superior but already canon in your eyes. You're doing a disservice to this fandom by spreading false information like that when you try to pass it off as official. So if it's anyone that assumes they know what goes on inside Rumiko's head, it's YOU. Somewhere down the road in the (un)foreseeable future, it's you who changes course since remember we were all in agreement at the beginning that their relationship wasn't romantic. So what did I miss? Please break it down for me and explain what exactly influenced you to change your mind, then describe in detail how again this transition in their relationship magically came to be. It's you who came to that decision on your own- nobody helped you get there, and certainly not Rumiko (as you said yourself). The user boycottyashahime put it better than I did, so here is the link to their post. I highly recommend you read it if you haven't already. I urge you to keep an open mind about it while reading, too. You may not like what they have to say, but there's no denying they make excellent points all the same.

I'm pretty sure I catch your drift, but can you clarify if you're referring to historical context or cultural context? I suppose both can be applied here. haha Anyway, from what I gather, you believe that fans should be on board with the idea of Sessrin and at the very least tolerate the pairing. Whether they ship it or not, you believe this simply for the fact that the story takes place in the feudal era and couples with a similar relationship back then were more than acceptable. The thing is, we may be transported to Feudal Japan in this story but we're still taking our modern day morals with us for the trip. I have a whole ass blog dedicated to the significance of fiction in real life (convienently pinned on my page) if you wanna check it out. I also discuss what age-appropriate content is and isn't for Inuyasha viewers in this recent ask here that I find is also pretty relevant to the convo.

Alrighty, moving onto your next point. I can't stress enough to you guys that this isn't a mere Caucasian vs. Non-Caucasian dilemma. I'm a POC, so I ask that you please not presume to know things about me you couldn't possibly know unless we met or I shared it with you. In fact, many of the other antis I frequently chat with are POCs like myself. So for all that's good and holy, please stop ignoring us when we say: THERE ARE FANS IN JAPAN WHO HATE THIS SHIP TOO. THIS ISN'T A DIFFERENCE OF CULTURE, THIS IS A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION (& FACT). It may have not been called child grooming during that time, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't; it just went under a different name, that's literally it.

Let me give you another example. So if I'm watching a movie about WWII in Nazi Germany, am I supposed to sympathize with an SS officer if the story is being narrated from his point of view? Because in his mind and during that time period, his ideology is right. Like a lot of Germany during that war, I rally to support his leader for what is in my opinion a just cause. Tell me, how does context matter in this instance? Does it matter so much so that you would adopt the same ideals just because it was "historically accurate" and you don't see anything wrong with it when you put yourself in their shoes? Does the "it's just fiction" defense come into play here, too?

The illustration I believe you are referring to is the calendar with that one official illustrator for Inuyasha, right? The thing is, an official illustrator doesn’t equal the creator of Inuyasha. They may support the Sessrin ship, but their work has no connection to the Inuyasha series in any way besides the name affiliation. I've heard that the illustrator also included Kagome x Koga art, so should we take that seriously then too? Rumiko never once alluded to a future romance between Sesshomaru and Rin, to which you even (kinda) agreed. She described their relationship as neither parental or romantic, and she added that she even contemplated making Rin a boy at first. Fun facts, y'all!

I've heard about those magazines but they sound fishy to me. Would you mind sending me a link to a reliable source that comes with an English translation? I'd like to emphasize again that illustrators or VAs can do and say as they please, but their opinions are still only opinions at the end of the day. Nothing is set in stone until Rumiko says it is.

For one, I never said my interpretation was the only correct portrayal. That's you putting words in my mouth again. What I did say, however, was that my interpretation was more logical and reasonable than yours based on popular and widely-accepted story patterns found in real life and in fiction. Look this isn't about who's more "correct" or not. You can perceive Sesshomaru and Rin's relationship any damn way you want, BUT what you cannot do is dictate how we react to your depiction of this ship. You can't demand us to view your ship a certain way to fit your preferences. I'm sure all the hate on your ship can be unbearable at times, but that's just the cross you'll have to bear for supporting such a problematic couple. If a large part of any fandom is strongly against a pairing and what it represents, then there's usually a very legitimate reason for that. You may not want to hear this, but certainly you must realize there's some truth to it all. A couple of your fellow shippers have even admitted to me that Sessrin would be wrong IRL. You see what I mean? Even if we find the ship gross, antis don't care if you choose to ship Sessrin. All we care about is you acknowledging that, like IRL, Sessrin potentially poses a lot of problems for young viewers and how they come to make sense of and view similar situations that are borderline grooming or the very thing itself. Teens watching this show are more vulnerable and impressionable, which is why it's crucial to not show relationships like Sessrin in a favorable light. If they're ever put in a situation IRL that resembles Sessrin, they need to be aware and understand that it's not at all normal or healthy for that adult to make a move on them. Let's say Sessrin does go canon, then that would mean Rin had to get pregnant around 14 or 15. Sending that kind of message to an audience made up of mostly teenagers isn't exactly wise if you ask me. Please really think about that and sit with it if you need to.

I'm positive I'm following the same story, thank you very much. Also, how can you be so confident making a statement like that when I have actual Sessrin shippers praising me for making valid points? Sorry to break it to you, but I don't think I'm as lost as you claim me to be or wish that I was.

That's a wrap, peeps!

Read over what I had to say again later and then get back to me if want, but only write me back if you plan to be respectful. Otherwise I will decline to answer. Just keep that in mind. And may I suggest only sending 1 or 2 asks at a time? Please and thank you!

I think I may know exactly who are, nonnie, but I can't say for sure. Besides, it doesn't really matter, as you have a right to stay anonymous if you so wish to. Listen, don't forget you are also more than welcome to interact (but appropriately) on my blogs/asks/etc. If you are who I think you are, then you recently did make a comment on one of them but didn't stick around when I replied back (and for good reason). Finally, if you hope to ever have a real discussion about this topic someday, first put your ego aside and refrain from throwing insults and then I'll hear you out. I have never once put you down in all of our interactions, so there's no need to show up here all riled up and aggravated in the first place. There's also no need to laugh at or mock other's opinions. Don't take jabs and assume I must not know something about Inuyasha just because I don't support your point of view. I may not agree with your opinion, but you don't see me having a condescending air about it.

Apologies if you're not the member I believe you to be, but no offense, you probably still needed to hear all of that too. It's not included here since I answered it immediately, but that final ask you sent me where you got angry and assumed I wasn't going to answer you was totally uncalled for. If you ever hope someday to participate in real discourse with me or any other antis, you should take my advice and seriously chill and learn how to be patient.

Hope this finds you well, nonnie!

[domreaderrecs]

Oh boy do I have some kink discourse for you. Here’s a wholeass list:

1. A female dominant does not need to be a sadist who is always torturing and abusing their sub. They can be soft and kind and caring.

2. Findom is a valid form of domination and is really a kink, it is not just women faking it to get money.

3. Online domination is possible, although there are more risks involved, it is still a valid form of domination.

4. Submissive black men are allowed to refuse to be called slave and their dom shouldnt be annoyed they can’t used their preferred honorific.

5. Kink and fetishes can be incorporated without the use of the power dynamic found in BDSM.

6. BDSM is still BDSM if the rope is pink and the outfit is white lace instead of red and leather.

7. It should be standard practice for there to be a safe word that means everything is fine so that the Dom can check in on the sub easily without breaking the scene.

8. It is only BDSM when both parties have discussed before hand, otherwise it’s sexual assault (yes that includes Chad who brought out the rope without warning and now Bethany is just going along because she likes him)

9. BDSM has always and will always be driven by the LGBT community.

10. Under 18 year olds do not have a place in the BDSM community. If they wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.

Yeah that’s about it for now. I’m realizing you probably didn’t want this much but oh well. We’re here now. Let me know what you think!

whewww so much to unpack here lets go its essay time

1. !!!! this is probably one of the most fundamentally misunderstood parts of femdom. it don’t gotta be ball crushing and whipping and calling him a worm all the time, or even at all. this is probably what turns so many women off from trying it or thinking they might be into a more dominant role. gentle femdom is way more palatable for beginners and for me personally, just way more enjoyable (even tho i definitely would wanna make a boy cry from time to time)

2. I used to be one of those people who looked down on findom. I still don’t understand why anyone would be into it tbh but findoms get a lot of shit for no reason... being a sugar baby is so glamorized but if you’re a findom you’re cold, or a bitch, or taking advantage. even though they’re both just people who get money from men who have money to throw at them for sexual favors... but one’s demonized and one’s all the rage... hm i wonder why

3. I have no real/successful experience with this... more on that in number 10

4. 100000%!! the stories i’ve seen from black subs in kink (mostly black women but still) are horrendous. a lot of doms will try to enforce a master/slave relationship, and try to exercise their authority to make subs agree to it. i know it’s a common dynamic, but that shit is wayyyy different to black people... any dom should know that. forcing your sub to do anything is wrong, but especially something so racially, historically, and culturally insensitive. and don’t get me started on the surprise “race play” stories i’ve heard... like i said doing anything without your sub’s consent is wrong but THAT kind of thing requires double consent with a cherry on top. this is part of the reason I’m so scared to enter the kink scene... this shit scares me. thats why the title mistress and master/slave dynamics in general just isn’t for me. it makes me think of my ancestors :/

5. again, 1000% agree. i’ve said this on my blog before, but i’ll say it again. not everything has to be dom/sub stuff. if you wanna peg your bf you don’t have to tie him up and call him names or boss him around, you can just peg him. i feel like ever since FSOG this whole dom/sub thing has grown way out of proportion, but that’s a whole other essay for another day

6. yessss I hate the stereotype of dom outfits as black, latex, leather, way too high to walk in boots... like does it look fire?? yes of course but pink and lace and knee high socks would make a fit that’s just as fire. 

7. this is non-negotiable to me. whenever I hear someone say “I don’t like safe words” or “I/We don’t need a safe word” it’s just a red flag to me. idc what anyone says safe words are mandatory.

8. Yes. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but with the rise of the popularity of “rough sex” (again, thanks FSOG) there’s seems to be a rise in people who just assume their partner may be into something, or who just try to experiment on their partner without asking them first. I’ve heard a lot of friends and other girls talk about guys just going straight into choking them, spanking them, and pulling their hair without even asking if they like it (another reason I’m scared to get out there and do stuff, as a person who is very much not a sub or into being treated roughly or tossed around, it’s a big fear of mine). I’ve also seen a lot about girls just randomly trying to finger their boyfriends. If it’s not vanilla, and y’all haven’t discussed it, do not assume it’s on the table. We’ve gotten to a point that kinky stuff is so talked about and normalized (especially with young adults) that people forget it’s actually kinky. 

9. period.

10. okay so story time, around the age of 15/16 is when I started to realize I was into kinky stuff. The preference had kinda always been there, but I couldn’t really place a name to it. I had always felt like an outcast among my peers when it came to the way they would talk about romantic and sexual relationships (I was a year ahead, so all my friends were 1-2 years older than me, so they started to do that stuff earlier than I did) because the things they talked about and liked were way different from the stuff I would think/fantasize about, so I always stayed quiet (teenage girls are very vocal about having choking/daddy kinks but that’s definitely indicative of a much larger problem that i will not get into bc that’s a whole other very very long essay that I will definitely write on here one day but not now). So when I found out what gentle femdom was I felt like I had a community that understood me, and everything just clicked. I would lurk on online communities and I lived for the discourse on there but I could never actively participate because every community had a strict “no minors” policy. They would say exactly what you said, “If minors wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.” I didn’t want to make anyone catch a case and I didn’t want to get targeted by predators so I tried to follow their advice. i found nothing. There honestly just isn’t that much educational stuff for “kinky teenagers”, or at least none that fit me. There was no femdom oriented stuff. I mean sure there was the standard “consent is important especially in bdsm relationships” but like that didn’t really help me. I had so many questions, that I could never feel comfortable asking my mom or a therapist, and especially not my friends. I didn’t know how to express this part of myself. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it and I couldn’t even watch porn like a normal teenager (we all know the state of femdom porn. its bad) so I was this ball incredible frustration and confusion and i didn’t know what to do with it. So I unfortunately turned to twitter. There I made a little like minded friend. he was also 16 so i thought “this is good, a non adult also kinky teenager who I can relate too. what could go wrong :)”(I’m sure you see where this is going) I was so excited to have a new friend, but ofc, our convos soon took a turn. However, since he was the first person to ever show interest in me, and the only person my age who i could talk to who understood me, i started to catch feelings. But he was a teen just like me, just as horny and confused and sooo immature. He started to pressure me into domming him/becoming his domme, but I refused because I wasn’t ready (i saw on one of those online communities I used to lurk in that its not healthy for your first sexual experience to be bdsm and I took that to heart). he ghosted me. needless to say that “friendship” was toxic. i realized too late that he only saw me as a kink dispenser, and didn’t care about me on a personal level. it also made me realize how not “mature for my age” I was. i say all this to say, NO, teenagers should not be participating in kink. they are not mature enough. however education and resources for them are not where they should be. if we want to discourage them from putting themselves in these situations, we need to better provide them with education and healthy ways to relieve these urges/feelings (i eventually took up writing, it helped me a lot). i feel like had i found a healthier and safer way to express/explore that side of myself, I would’ve never gotten in that situation to begin with. That experience has kinda put me off from dipping my toe into the actual community (well that and the lack of diversity but we’ve already talked about that)

ALSO the amount of very young children i’ve seen in the kink “community” on twitter is alarming... you’re not a little you’re 12

anyways, thanks so much for this essay of an ask and sorry i wrote an essay in response to each one lol but like I said I could discuss kink all day

[theopengrimoire]

Hello beautiful author, what did you think of the new episode of Black Clover (I loved the shirtless Fuegoleon☺☺)

Episode 133 The Lion Awakens, Continued

Okay, let me just start by saying I’ve watched Episode 132 and 133, no joke at least 15 times in the last week. For being filler it is so damn good. Black Clover itself doesn’t really have any filler until it caught up to the manga. But I’m pretty happy with the filler that I’ve seen. For me it’s given a good break to all the continuous fighting and allows for a bit more insight to the characters, it still feels natural, not forced for me. 

One thing for these two episodes (I’ve said it before but it’s been so long between the two episodes). I feel like Leo is really coming into himself with these episodes. Being rivals with Asta and having friends outside the squad has forced him to think what works for him instead of following directly in his sibling’s footsteps. He also seems to be acting a little more in accord with his age. When we were first introduced to him in the commencement ceremony his first line is something like “There’s no room for mercy when you’re fighting against evil”. Like he says it so dead serious, you would almost think he’s like Fuego until he actually lightens up and claim Asta. Granted, it’s an important ceremony and you’re talking to the Wizard King, but I don’t think that’s exactly what I would say in his position. 

So I’m happy with a teenage acting Leo (and they give the most adorable hint about his growth spurt in this episode).

The other thing I just love about these two episodes is actually seeing Mereo and Fuego together as adults. We’ve seen them as kids/teens but not fully grown adults. You can really see the sibling relationship when Mereo starts bossing the squad around and poor Fuego is all “can I just tell my squad what to do?”. You can even hear the annoyance in the tone of his voice. I think that’s just A+. 

Any who, I’m so freaking happy Black Clover is back on the air (and the english dub is finally back as well, though it is quite a few more episodes behind due to being shut down before the sub was. I watch both, but I like to have the dub on in the background when working). I didn’t know how much I missed it until it came back and it’s made me more inspired to work on hcs. I’m also excited to see more royalty in episode 134. I’m pretty sure it’s Sister Theresa coming back to the Vermillion Estate. She’s the only one that would have Marie and Gauche there too. I just hope she calls Fuego by his nickname to his face in front of everyone. GIVE THE FANS WHAT THEY WANT!!!!! 

[fishoutofcamelot]

(for the ask thing) any book/tv show/movie/song recommendations?

BRO! I heckin got you man! Now, I’m gonna skip the song and book recommendation bit because that sorta thing isn’t really my scene. BUT! In terms of TV? My rec list is like a mile long. I’m gonna include a read-more line, actually. 

BBC Merlin: You know I had to put this on the list. But the fact that you’re on my blog means you’ve probably watched this one, so I won’t go into detail about it. Available on Netflix

Mob Psycho 100: Just a cute, sweet story about a bunch of psychic kids trying to kill each other. A story with this much fighting has no right to be so wholesome. Mob is just a good boy, he doesn’t deserve all this! Fair warning, its messages about identity, self love, and growth WILL make you feel Emotions. Available on various anime pirating websites

Red vs Blue: The found family game is SO strong in this one. By far the best found family plot/dynamic I have ever and will ever experience. The characters are all so solid, yknow? Like it took me three rewatches to understand the plot, but I didn’t even care because I loved the characters SO MUCH. It’s also really, really funny (although some of the jokes have aged a bit poorly tbh). Basically about a bunch of space marines who goof off and accidentally dismantle corrupt governments along the way. Available on Youtube

Supernatural: Is it cringey? Yeah. Does the fandom suck? Also yeah. Is Destiel overrated? BIG yeah. But it’s got monsters, magic, family, and a plot that doesn’t revolve around romance - and really, what more could you ask for? And sure, a lot of people don’t really like the later seasons, but idk I actually prefer them. Season 15 has me THRIVING. I mean come on - character vs author?! Fighting the guy who literally wrote you into existence because he doesn’t want to give your story a happy ending?! Say what you will about Supernatural, but it’s one of the most imaginative shows I’ve ever seen. Available on Netflix

Avatar the Last Airbender: You like stellar animation, intricate worldbuilding/magicbuilding, and a perspective on war that is surprisingly mature for a kids show? Check it out. This show is without a doubt one of the best animated series of all time. Go on. Watch it. It’ll change your life. Available on Netflix

The Umbrella Academy: Time-travelling assassins. Superheroes. Ghosts. Talking monkeys. Murder mysteries. Baller soundtracks. This show will never give you what you expect. I don’t even think I could properly describe it to you. Available on Netflix

Detective Conan: An anime. It’s about a teen detective - think Nancy Drew but bloodier - who witnesses a crime and is fed an experimental poison in order to keep him from telling anyone. But instead of killing him, the poison turns him into a 6-year-old. So now he’s got to solve crimes and take down a criminal organization while in the body of a child. Naturally, shenanigans ensue. Fair warning, the main character becomes a bit of a Mary Sue in later episodes, but the first 300 or so are pretty fun. A few episodes are available on Netflix, but not any of the good ones. You’ll need an anime pirating website for that

Knives Out: My favourite movie ever, of all time. It’s a murder mystery that both subverts and pays homage to its parent genre in all the right places. It’s funny, it’s intelligent, and has a spectacular ending! Although I do wish the fandom would stop being so horny for Ransom, I mean he’s literally racist...No clue where you can find this tbh, I saw it in theatres

Derry Girls: Now I’m not normally a big fan of realistic fiction/sitcom stuff. Despite how funny they are, I’ve not even watched The Office or Parks and Rec because that normal daily life stuff just doesn’t peak my interest. And yet, somehow this story about a group of Irish high schoolers just has me enthralled. Very funny, very well-written, give it a watch. Available on Netflix

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Another anime. Phenomenal animation? Check. Fascinating plot and characters? Check. Detailed magic system that gets my lore-obsessed heart fluttering? Big heckin check. So basically two kids try to use Fantasy Science to bring their mom back to life, only the experiment fails and has some pretty nasty consequences - one boy loses his arm and leg, while the other loses his entire body and has his soul bound to a suit of armour. Now they gotta go through government conspiracies, ethical dilemmas, and Daddy Issues to try and get their bodies back. Available on Netflix

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Yet another anime. I know, I know, I’m a nerd, get over it. This show doesn’t have a complex plot or even complex characters, tbh, but what it does have is some amazing humour. It’s extremely funny, and it’s also just a nice show to kick back and relax to. Basically this guy who’s so op that he could rewrite the laws of reality on a whim is stuck dealing with relationship drama in high school despite being very, very asexual and very, very tired. Mostly he just uses his powers to avoid people and eat junk food, which is honestly a mood. Available on Netflix

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Honestly I’d recommend almost anything that’s Scooby Doo-related because that was my childhood obsession. I used to have like 20 of the movies on DVD before my mom gave them all away. To this day I still love Scooby Doo, and watch it whenever I get the chance. But if you ask any SD fan, they’ll probably tell you that Mystery Incorporated is the best, most intelligent, most creative installment in the franchise. And they’re right (although I do wish there was less relationship drama...) Available on Netflix

Evil Genius: This is a documentary series about the Collar Bomb Robbery. Now, despite what the above list might indicate, I actually watch a LOT of documentaries, and if I were here to recommend all of them then we would be here all day. Not really ‘funny’ like the other entries on this list, it’s actually rather tragic, but definitely a cerebral viewing experience. Available on Netflix

Screwball: Now this is a documentary that IS funny. It’s about drug scandals in baseball. But the dramatic scene re-enactments are done with child actors that are all wearing fake beards and pretending to be drug dealers. It’s not only a fascinating subject, but it’s got amazing editing and visuals that have me in awe. Available on Netflix

Behind the Curve: Yet another documentary. This one’s about the rise of the Flat Earth movement. You’ll spend most of the time on the verge of having a stroke because of how stupid it all is. Available on Netflix

The Movies That Made Us: Okay okay okay last documentary on the list I swear. This one’s exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a series talking about the behind-the-scenes production of iconic movies like Home Alone and Ghostbusters. I eagerly await the second season. Available on Netflix

Monster Factory: If you’re familiar with the McElroy brothers and their brand of humour, you’ll love this. Griffin and Justin team up to make the most disturbing avatars they can create using video game character creators. The origins of the Final Pam meme. If I had a shirt with a quote from Monster Factory on it, I’d die a happy man. Available on Youtube

Baman Piderman: The dumbest show I have ever watched, but it’s so adorable and stupid and I love it so much. It doesn’t really have a plot, but later episodes allude to the presence of one and I’m upset because there are so many mysteries/questions hinted at and we’ll never get answers because it’s been abandoned. PLEASE watch it. Available on Youtube

Stranger Things: Okay, season 2 was a bit of a let-down imo, but season 1 was ICONIC and the Scoops Troop subplot in season 3 deserved its own freakin spinoff. I’m not joking. I didn’t even like s3 all that much, but the only reason it’s my favourite is because the Scoops Troop plot was so great. People call this show ‘horror’ but I don’t think it’s scary enough for that, although it is admittedly kinda spooky. If you like 80s nostalgia and the horror aesthetic, then I’d give it a watch (Do it for Scoops Troop. Do it for Robin). Available on Netflix

Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart: Despite my overwhelming love for this film, I’ll be the first to admit it’s kinda mediocre. The plot is weird and the romance feels forced, but despite its flaws it manages to be one of my favourite movies. Mostly I just like it for the unique concept and beautiful ending. Also the music is off the par man. Probably because the writer/producer of the movie was the lead singer for a French band called Dionysus (what? I do my research). Available on Netflix

Wakfu: I haven’t seen past season 3, but so far it’s pretty good. You go in thinking it’s just a wholesome action/adventure show about a kid who can create portals - but then it just. Sucks you in. From its bopping theme song to its fantastic found family to the unique worldbuilding, you very quickly fall in love with it. It’s got a cool plot and also talking dragons, and it doesn’t get better than that. Available on Netflix

Mystery Skulls Animated: Technically not a TV show so much as it is a series of animated music videos with a plot, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the greatest things of all time. It’s basically Scooby Doo but if Shaggy got possessed by a demon and killed Fred, causing Fred to become a ghost hellbent on revenge-killing Shaggy in return. And if Scooby was an ancient Japanese spirit that bit off Shaggy’s arm, forcing him to wear a metal prosthetic. Yeah, MSA is wild. It’s only got three videos out so far, with a fourth one coming out this October, but there’s already so much lore! Available on Youtube

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared: Ah yes, yet another cringey entry on this list. But you know what? Cringe culture is dead!!! And despite its fandom being...like that...DHMIS really is a cool show. Think if Sesame Street was like haunted or something. The episodes about creativity and telling time remain the most unsettling, imo. Definitely worth a watch. Available on Youtube

Inanimate Insanity: Oh boy. Am I seriously recommending you dip your little fingies into the object fandom? Yes. Yes I am. This show is so obscure it makes freakin Detective Conan look popular. At its core it’s a parody of Total Drama Island and Survivor but with anthropomorphized inanimate objects as characters (hence the name). Season 2 is actually really, really good and surprisingly competent. You just gotta get through season 1 first. Available on Youtube

The X-Files: Wow, a live action series on this list? Who woulda thought??? But seriously, this show is really fun. Memes and jokes aside, I love it. Scully and Mulder are fun characters with great chemistry (both platonic and romantic), the Lone Horsemen are hilarious, and every episode is a unique adventure into the most creative acid trips the human mind could conceive of. Phenomenal from start to finish (if you ignore the last season). I have no clue where you would watch this. Pirate it, probably

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Two idiots investigate cold cases and haunted locales while being utter dumbasses about it. You know the “hey demons it’s be ya boi” meme? That came from these guys. Available on Youtube

Kingdom: Ngl, I didn’t go into this expecting zombies. Or for it to take place during Korean feudalism, for that matter. But mediocre dubbing aside, this show has such a clever concept. It takes the zombie apocalypse genre and gives refreshing, unique twists to old tropes that they feel like something new. Seo-bi is my wife and she deserves all the love and appreciation in the world, and those are just Facts. Available on Netflix

My Hero Academia: Superhero high school anime. I personally am not a fan of later episodes/arcs, but the first three seasons are pretty dang good. Diverse, colourful ensemble cast that you easily grow to adore, interesting commentary on disability (although I’m not qualified to give any actual takes on that), and a school curriculum that makes me very, very concerned for the wellbeing of these children. Plus all the superpowers - aka ‘quirks’ - are super imaginative and, well, quirky! I just wish people would stop shipping the main character with his childhood bully...You’ll need to pirate this one too lmao

Danny Phantom: The highlight of this show is its ‘phandom’, because unlike someone (*cough* Butch Hartman), we’re not a bunch of cowards. It’s about a guy who messes around with his parents’ lab stuff and accidentally acquires the ability to die! Well, half-die. He can turn into a ghost and fight other ghosts. Although the show never explores the existential, traumatic fallout of being kinda-sorta-dead, the potential for something deep and emotional is there. Plus there is a LOT of accidental subtext for a Big LGBT+ Metaphor. So much so that the Trans Danny theory is basically canon. Uhhh not available on Netflix anymore so it’s time to whip out your pirate hat, matey

And there you have it! Like I said, I have a lot of TV recommendations. And I just KNOW I’m forgetting a ton, but this is already really long so we’ll have to cut off here. 

Thanks for the ask! <3

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch. 15 - The Arrest

Hiro was familiar with the routine of being arrested. The act of having handcuffs slapped on him and being placed in a waiting room next to a holding cell until his aunt could pick him up, didn't bother him. It was the thought of what would come after that made him nervous. 

This was the second time he'd gotten into trouble for bot fighting in the past six months. He had tried so hard to do better since Tadashi's death, but he still somehow fell short. No matter his excuse, Aunt Cass was going to be furious. Worse than that, she was going to be disappointed. 

The thought of letting her down, especially after seeing her go through so much recently, made his stomach churn and his mind race with worry. So of course his anxiety only went through the roof when his new friend decided to not to take the arrest seriously. 

Varian was all smiles, full of charming wit and seemingly benign curiosity. He aimlessly talked with the police and with the fellow criminals equally, not caring that most ignored his friendly chatter nor for the fact that half of them were willing to kill him only moments ago. 

"Hey, would you look at this cell?" Varian cheerfully asked no one in particular as he peered through the bars at one of the empty jail cells. He held onto the iron bars with both hands, leading back on his heels and swung his head back towards Hiro and the police officer with them. "These are a lot nicer than the ones in Corona. They even got toilets! Which one do we get?" He flashed them both a wide grin and Hiro could only look at him in confused horror. 

Sergeant Gerson wasn't amused. "Are either of you, of, or over the age of eighteen?" He asked in a tired voice as he removed Hiro's handcuffs. 

"No." 

"Then you'll both wait out here until your parents or legal guardian can come and bail you out. The holding cells are for adults only." Gerson drone on. 

"You mean you don't arrest people under eighteen?" Varian asked in disbelief. 

"Oh you're still under arrest alright," The sergeant explained, "but we don't put minors into jail cells." 

Now it was Varian's turn to look confused. "Not ever? Not even if they do something really bad, like theft or something?" 

"Nope. This is just the police station. You're here until you pay bail or are released. If charges are pressed, you then have to go to court and there your sentence is decided. Typically minors are sent to a juvenile correction facility if their crime is severe enough." 

Varian turned his eyes upwards and screwed his lips in thought as he tried to process this new information. "You mean that there's a dungeon just for children?" He asked slowly. 

"If you wanna call it that, sure." Gerson shrugged. He was a little surprised by the kid's wording but then again too tired to care. He'd been in the force for ages and was getting on in years so he just chalked it up to 'kids these days and their slang.' 

As Gerson removed Varian's own cuffs, the teen mulled over the differences between the legal system here and in Corona. “Weeell.. What if the kid in question does something really, really, bad, like murder? Do they still go to this ‘juvenile correction facility’?” 

“Depends,” Gerson shrugged, “what state are we talking about and what degree of murder?” 

Varian rubbed the wrists of his now free hands. He wasn’t sure what a ‘degree of murder’ was so he simply asked,  “Uhhh… assassination?”

“Well now, then you’d go to federal court, that is, ‘ Gerson paused and looked around,’ if the CIA doesn’t get you first.” he whispered conspiratorially. 

“Ahhh… the elite guard.” Varian concluded as if he knew exactly what the CIA meant. 

“Uhhh, can we change the subject now?” Hiro interrupted. He stood off to the side looking back and forth between the two of them nervously. Sergeant Gerson may have thought of Varian as just nothing more than some weird precocious kid, but Hiro knew there was more to it than that. His friend was asking all these questions because he genuinely didn’t know anything about their judicial system, but the subject of the questions, paired with the glib way Varian asked them, unnerved Hiro.  

Fortunately, Hiro was spared any more uncomfortable conversions about the nature of the American justice system when Chief Officer Cruz walked in. 

‘Hiro, your aunt has been called and she’s on her way. You can wait out in the lobby for her instead.” he said. “As for your friend, I have a few questions about his records. If you’ll follow me.” Cruz indicated that Varian should come with him and the boys filed out of the holding room followed by Sergeant Gerson.

“Bye, Louie!” Varian called out and waved at the cell full of criminals as he left. 

The last thing Hiro saw before the door closed was ‘Louie’ giving a little wave back in surprise only for his boss, Yama, to smack him in the back of the head for being friendly to the kid that had humiliated him earlier.

                                                        ------------

Hiro sat waiting in the lobby of the police station as he swung his heels together nervously, his feet still not quite reaching the floor yet. Sergeant Gerson had moved back to his customary place behind the front desk and was busying himself with paperwork. Meanwhile, he could see the silhouettes of Varian and Chief Cruz behind the frosted window pane of the office door. He couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but Cruz had mentioned something about records. Hiro could only hope that Professor Granville had been thorough enough in forging Varian’s documents. 

Just then the door opened and Varian sauntered out, still looking as unperturbed by the arrest as ever. He turned back around to face the chief of police again though, as Cruz continued to ask him questions. 

“And you’re sure you haven’t any legal guardian or adult sponsor here in the states?” He pressed. 

Varian just shrugged and paused as if an idea just struck him. “My college roommate is nineteen, does that count?” he offered. 

“Hardly.” was Cruz’s annoyed response. Student visa or no, Cruz wasn’t comfortable with the idea of a minor being abroad without any adult supervision, and he couldn’t believe that the kid had gotten past customs with just a college acceptance letter. Well, no, he could believe it, he just didn’t approve of it. Who was the kid to call upon when he needed help? Like now, for instance. 

Cruz was just contemplating calling the head of the university, to give the woman a piece of his mind if nothing else, when Hiro’s aunt burst through the front doors. She spotted Hiro and ran to him first, wrapping him in a big hug. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, as she still held him. 

“I’m... I’m okay.” Hiro admitted not returning the hug, guilt still pricking at his mind. 

Aunt Cass eventually let go of him and walked over to speak to Cruz. She and Cruz had been childhood friends growing up and she owed him a great deal for not throwing the book at her nephew. Hiro was a multiple offender and his age couldn’t shield him from his consequences forever. 

“I am so sorry, Diego, but thank you for calling me first. I’m sure after today Hiro will think twice about bot fighting again.” She said sternly while looking directly at her nephew and Hiro shrunk under her glare. 

“Oh, Hiro wasn't ‘bot fighting. I was.” Varian explained. All three looked at him in surprise as he continued. “I didn’t know that it was illegal and Hiro was only there to warn me. He tried to get me to stop, but I didn’t listen. So it’s my fault, if you want to blame someone. Hiro didn’t do anything wrong.” 

The adults exchanged glances while Hiro only looked at Varian appreciatively.  

“Hiro, is this true?” Aunt Cass asked and her nephew nodded yes. 

“He didn’t have a robot on him when arrested.” Cruz admitted, basically confirming Varian’s story. 

“Soo, now what?” Aunt Cass asked looking back at Cruz.

There was another silence as everyone waited for the chief of police’s decision. Cruz heaved a sigh of resignation. “I suppose, given that you’re not from San Fansokyo and are a first time offender, I can let you both go with just a warning this time.” 

Everyone perked up at the news but before they could bestow any gratitude the officer continued. “However, I’m still not comfortable with releasing a minor without an adult on hand to grant custody to.” He gave Varian a stern scowl as he said this. 

“Maybe I could take him?” Aunt Cass gently offered. “I’ll make sure he makes it back to the dorms safely.” 

“Alright then,’ Cruz relented. “I leave him to you Cass.” And with that the chief went back to his office to finish work and the trio made to leave.

                                                        ------------

As they walked out of the building into the late afternoon sun, Varian gave a wide grin and was just about to thank Aunt Cass for helping him, when she whirled around and gave the teen a furious glare. 

“What were you thinking!?” She snapped and for the first time that day Varian’s cheery façade fell away. He stood there stunned by her sudden change in demeanor and hurt by her accusatory question.  

“Get in the car.” She ordered before Varian could offer up any defense and both teens sulkily obeyed.

                                                       ------------

Aunt Cass was beside herself with anger and anxiety. There was also another, more disturbing feeling, that she couldn’t quite name at the back of her consciousness, like a cross between a half forgotten nightmare and deja vu. The phone call, the police station, walking out with two teenagers in tow; it all felt eerily familiar and yet somehow, off. 

She was repeating history and yet it wasn’t Tadashi that sat across from her now. She kept glancing over to the dark haired boy slouching in the front seat, reminding herself that it wasn’t actually her child sitting there, back from the grave. 

With a deep breath, she took a look through the rear view mirror to see Hiro sitting in the back. He had just finished texting his friends telling them where he and Varian were at. 

“Is Baymax with them?” She asked. 

“Yeah, he’s with them.” Hiro replied and put his phone back in his pocket. He knew his aunt would want to start lecturing them soon and he knew it’d be best if he paid attention to that. 

“So” Cass asked, “do you want to tell me why you were at the bot fight today?” 

The question was mostly for Varian since he had been the one to participate in the competition, but the teen only remained silent. He instead stared ahead out the windshield not wanting to meet her gaze. 

“Well, I hope you realize now how dangerous and reckless that was. You were incredibly lucky the police showed up when they did, and that Officer Cruz was willing to let you both off with just a warning.” She admonished and gave a meaningful glare at the rear view mirror; hoping Hiro would see how serious she was and realize that he too wasn’t fully off the hook. He did see and wiggled uncomfortably in his seat. Varian, however, still gave no indication that her words had reached him. 

“You could have been hurt,” She continued, “or gotten yet another blemish on your record. And for what? Money? Bragging rights? You’re both so smart and have such bright futures ahead of you. Why waste that on a game?” She slammed the brakes hard as they came to a red light, growing more frustrated by the lack of acknowledgment from the blued eyed teen. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve been down to that police station in the past two years? It’s not a pleasant experience to know your child is in trouble. It’s.. well, it’s frightening, is what it is. A million questions run through your mind. Are they hurt? Did they hurt someone else? Will they be let back out? Am I going to have to close the shop again? I hope you keep that in mind next time you want to go show off your robot making skills.” 

“Yes ma'am.” Came the hollow whisper from Varian. It was an automatic response, one meant to placate rather than confirm anything the other person had said. Varian wasn’t used to lectures. Even back home when his father would get on to him for something, it was usually just a single order or a weary sigh of disappointment. Quirin had always been a man of few words. Hiro’s aunt however never seemed to run out of words. Had it been anybody else, he may have not cared, but the woman had been so kind to Varian that he now felt nauseous with guilt. 

Aunt Cass huffed in exasperation. She wasn’t getting through to him. And why would she? She wasn’t his mother. He barely knew her outside of the few times he’d come over to visit her nephew. There was nothing to it, she’d have to call the boy’s father and let him know what had happened. Though she had no idea what time of day it was in, where was it, Russia, no, Corona? 

“I’d ground both of you if I could, but I can’t. So we’ll just have to call your father once we get back to the café.” 

That got his attention. Varian looked at her wide eyed with fear and even Hiro seemed worried at that. 

“You better have his number ready when we get there. No weaseling out of it.” She ordered. “Just think what your father will say when he knows you’ve been arrested.” 

The face Varian gave her when she said that statement nearly broke her heart. He looked like he was about to cry. But there was no time to dwell on why he was so upset as the light changed to green again and she had to focus on driving instead. However just as the car began to move she heard the sickening sound of a car door opening and feet hitting the payment. 

“Varian!? What are you doing!?” Hiro called out and Aunt Cass turned just in time to see Varian running away from the car and across the street. She froze in horror as the boy dodged oncoming traffic and the cars behind her began to loudly honk their horns, ordering her to move. She only unfroze when she saw Varian make it to the sidewalk, breathing a sigh of relief. Only to sharply inhale again, when she saw him take off running once more down an alleyway and out of sight. 

Her mind raced. What could she do?

“You want me to go after him?” Hiro asked. 

“You stay in this car young man!” She ordered. She wasn’t about to have two children lost in the city. Coming to a decision, she made a U-turn and headed back to the police station.

                                                        ------------

Varian ran. He ran past buildings, parked cars, and street vendors. He pushed his way through crowds and ducked down dark alleys. He ran until his legs ached and his chest stung with each breath but still he kept on going, blindly turning every which way, not really caring where he went. He only knew that he needed to get away. Away from this strange city and away from his shame. 

Neon signs flashed above and tall glass and metal spires towered over him, increasing his anxiety. What was once a world of wonder now seemed frighteningly alien. The swarms of oddly dressed people that surrounded him started to make him feel claustrophobic as they passed by without giving him a second glance. He just wanted to go home, back to the normalcy of the green fields and the warm fireplace that he would sit by in the kitchen. Where he could look out the window towards the forest and see the stars in the sky as he curled up with a good book or a hot cup of cocoa that he’d managed to save up for.  

Finally, he came to the large bridge that connected the metropolis to the other side of the bay. There he saw the inviting woodland in the distance and took off down it’s walkway. The sun was beginning to set and city lights started to twinkle in the distance as he made his way across. Tears stung his eyes but he dared not stop to wipe them. 

He made it to the other side as night began to settle and the moon started to hang overhead. He ran along the side of the road for a little ways more before taking a sharp turn and diving straight into the forest. The ground was rougher here and he stumbled once or twice over a root or a rock he didn’t see in the dark, but still he kept on running. 

He only stopped when he came to the foot of a giant tree. It wasn’t like any other he’d seen before, massive in size and shooting high into the night sky, but it smelt kind of like a pine or a spruce, but not quite. Whatever, at least it wasn’t another skyscraper, he thought as he collapsed next to the thick trunk, his hands digging into the soft red bark of the tree. He slid down to the forest floor as he began to sob and other more familiar scents and sounds assailed his senses. The smell of earthy moss, the rustle of tree leaves above, the damp grassy ground soaking through his coat, all of it reminded him of the woods near his home and helped to calm his nerves. 

He shuttered another sob and choked back tears. He didn’t know what to do any more. He didn’t want to face anyone he knew or think about how he’d let his father down, again. All he wanted was just to be back where he belonged though he knew deep down that he could never return to that place in time two years ago. He huddled under the tree, resigned, and cried himself to sleep. 

[monsterdoodles]

Thoughts on Steven Universe Future 3-13-2020

Together Forever: This episode was a lot less about Steven and Connie, and more about just Steven than expected.

Connie has some plans for college, but we don’t quite get to know what her career goals are exactly. She’s planning on getting into politics, but I’m not sure at what level or what branch. Not that that matters to the episode too much or anything. The University of Jayhawk is all the across the country from Delmarva. This is a distance that Steven cannot emotionally handle right now. Upon this realization, he sinks down into his bed, part of his “floating” powers.

It is good to see that he and Connie keep in touch at least over video calls. On a slightly more concerning note, Steven has memorized Connie’s schedule down to the minute.

Garnet says at the end of the episode, that there was no future in which Steven wouldn’t propose to Connie. I’m guessing had he talked to Garnet instead, he would have proposed to her out of spite or in an effort to prove Garnet wrong.

Instead of Garnet, we do get Ruby and Sapphire this episode. Steven doesn’t seem too surprised by their appearance in this episode, so I imagine that they have been teaching these classes for a while. Ruby is doing some kind of nature scout class, did she make those badges herself, or are they part of a nationally recognized scout organization? Either way she’s teaching some gems and Onion about the beauty of nature. Steven tells her about how Connie seems to really have her life together and knows what she is doing.

I can see a parallel here with Ruby and Sapphire, and Steven and Connie. In this particular case, Steven is Ruby. He doesn’t have the foresight that Connie does right now. He, in a way, lacks future vision.

Ruby, either lacking the knowledge of what might be socially acceptable or being too excited about prospect of Steven expressing his love, tells Steven that he should propose to her. Ruby’s logic here is that it worked for her. She ignores the fact that she and Sapphire had been together for over 5000 years and that they are adults.

Steven visits Sapphire as well, she is teaching a class on alternate timelines. I wonder what that entails exactly. I suppose that they do all of those equations that she explained to Steven, but with the understanding that the future still isn’t as predictable as one might think. She also encourages Steven to propose to Connie despite the fact that she is aware of the sociological implications of this, but she’s a hopeless romantic about it anyways.

Steven declare to the gems, that this will be his last day as Steven Cutie-Pie Demayo Diamond Quartz Universe. Interesting that that interaction with Garnet from almost 4 years ago left that impression on him. That is the same day that he learned about future vision, so I suppose that just stuck in his mind. Also, was he planning to take Connie’s last name or add Maheswaran to his plethora of middle names (that he thinks belongs on official documents for some reason).

He makes his plan. He gets jam, glow sticks and cake. On top of the world, he dresses his best and asks her out from outside her window. He says they’ll be back in 15 minutes (this reminds of an episode of How I Met Your Mother, but the season and name escape me).

At the beach, in the same place they first met, Steven has a picnic set up. Had this just be a romantic gesture or a proposal to date, not marriage, things probably would have gone a lot better for him. Connie responds well to all this. She has been shown to have romantic feelings for Steven in the past, she attempted to kiss him in An Indirect Kiss and she successfully kissed him on the cheek in the movie. Steven sings his song with the sentiment of “I want to be me with you”. The lyrics of which, like many love songs in my opinion, have a codependent quality to them. Steven doesn’t know his future, so he wants someone else to be his future, to be someone else.

Connie, very sensibly, says no. They are young, have never discussed this, and I’m pretty sure they aren’t even an item. She also tells him, “It’s a not now” because there is plenty of time. Steven is in his unending quest for stability, and he still hasn’t found it.  Throughout this conversation Connie and Steven occupy opposite spaces on screen. They are in different places in their lives right now, sure and unsure, stable and unstable.

I think if Steven were around more teens his age, he might not be feeling this way, so much at least. He would realize how many people don’t have their lives figured out at this age. Many people his age just want to graduate high school. He really needs to talk to Greg about this. Greg wanted to be a musician, but he was also a community college drop out. He didn’t have everything figured out. (I’m pretty sure this will be part of next week’s episodes in some way)

Connie is willing to stick around when her alarm goes off. Steven tells her to go, probably because he doesn’t want to burden her and because he won’t be holding it together for long. As soon as she leaves, he lies back and creates a crater. The shockwaves ruining the picnic. He lies there until dark.

When he gets up, Garnet is there. She explains to him the inevitability of this situation. She tells him that the hole he is trying to fill won’t be filled by Connie or Stevonnie. Connie is not his “missing piece”. In this scene, Garnet is towering and Steven feels almost as small as his younger self. I think this accentuates how young and foolish Steven was this episode. He holds a frustrated look during this conversation. He says he blames Garnet for making this all look so easy. Reminds me of Cry for Help/Friendship. Pearl had felt the same way about Ruby and Sapphire/Garnet. Steven and Pearl craved that perceived perfection.

Steven then eats his feelings.

Growing Pains: I was wrong in my prediction that Steven would either be stuck in pink mode or have a human ailment.

The episode opens with a scene from the newest instalment of dogcopter. In the movie, Dogcopter proposes to a dog named Drew. Steven laments the fact that “everyone else is getting married”. He continues to eat his feelings like at the ending of last episode, and then his body starts getting out of control. He keeps growing sporadically. He mostly ignores it because it doesn’t hurt him physically.

He wants to reach out to someone who isn’t Connie right now. He can’t reach the gems, so he calls Greg, who is on tour with Sadie and Shep right now. Greg is having a great time, and Steven won’t rain on that parade, even when Greg offers to call him back. He almost wants to call Connie, but she calls him instead. His shapeshifting forces him to answer her call.

He can no longer hide what’s going on with him, since it is manifesting physically. Connie suggests that he should see a doctor. He doesn’t want to bother anyone even when he is physically unwell. He even describes it as a waste of time. Connie persuades him.

Steven pays Doctor Maheswaran a visit, Connie escorts him in. As soon as Connie leaves the room for them to conduct tests, she calls Greg.

This episode really explores how both human and gem Steven really is. He has a human body and it is effected like a human body is. But he is also a gem, it makes his body react unusually and if he’s fractured skeleton is any indication, it is keeping him alive.

Dr. Maheswaran finds out about Steven’s physical traumas through his x-ray. She asks him if he had any particularly traumatic experiences. Steven basically recalls the entire show. Dr. Maheswaran goes on to describe the physical aspects of trauma and the way the body reacts in a way I don’t think I’ve ever seen in any piece of fictional media. Steven’s body is trying to protect him from danger that isn’t there anymore. Minor stress to him is now the equivalent to major stress. To make things worse, he feels as though his support system is gone.

When he thinks back to the proposal, things go haywire. As his body continues to grow in size, he takes up more and more of the room. He is almost too big to fit. There is nowhere left for him to hide. He yells “I can’t be around you right now” much in the way he yelled “I just want to fix it” back in Volleyball. His yell shatters the windows.

Greg finally arrives, revealing that Connie had called him. Connie still very much cares about Steven. He explains to Greg that everything feels like the end of the world to him now.

Receiving understanding and support from Greg is what gets Steven to go back to his normal size. At home he continues to explain his fears and worries. All of which, as Greg explains, are normal. Steven now knows what his problem is, or at least one aspect of it, but I don’t think his problems are solved just yet. From the way he “swells up” in response to stress in this episode, I think something big is about to happen in the show. Something so big, that for his body to protect him from it, he will grow into the giant monster from the opening theme song.

Predictions for next week:

Discussion of leaks ahead

Mr. Universe: Still no episode description for this one, but I imagine this is where Steven crashes the van. Steven is still not in a great place right now, and while he seems more willing to talk about things, his body is still reacting in a way that is unsafe for him and others. I believe that this will lead to the van crashing. As others have pointed out, this episode may involve Pearl because she played a big part in the episode Mr. Greg. I still somehow think this episode will be the story of how Rose decided to have Steven, if not it will be about how Greg made the decision to drop out of college and take on the rockstar persona Mr. Universe.

Fragments: This is where that first leak came from, the “leave me alone I need space one”. I’m still not 100% sure what “fragments” is in reference to. Others I have discussed with have suggested memories. I am not entirely sure the direction of this.

[a-ghostlight-for-roman]

🖊 !!

Aight let’s talk about my main bitch Magliniox.

Actually I’m just gonna talk about their relationships because I’m Soft lmao

So they’re in a QPR with Brounquex, Anora & Madeline. They’re also kinda an adoptive parent for Ophilane & Brounquex is kinda like Ophilane'dad but it’s complicated because technically it was a kidnapping? But their dad got stuck in the ole in love with a fae things so.. he was. Not exactly capable of raising them because he was a bit. stuck. So they just took them. But it’s fine.

Anyways Mag & Brounquex are the OGs of the group! Mag escaped from their father ((who was the abomination parent! Their mom was the unfortunate fae that got stuck with it)) & went on the run, & no one would take them in because.. abomination child is in like What to Avoid 101. /especially/ if it’s got fae blood. Anyways, they ended up around the orcs that Brounquex was raised by ((who he wasn’t actually biologically related to but he is part orc! Also part abomination but they were like eh.. fuck it... we can have a chaotic half-orc abomination child. as a treat)) & they don’t go towards them because duh orcs are like.. the next worst thing to Mag ((in their mind at least)) but Brounquex sees the cute fae kid on the outskirts of the village & is like :^0 !! & of course he says hi because new friend! & he’s never seen a fae in person but this kid is obviously fae. I’m mean the horrifying teeth & extra eyes & arms are decidedly Not Fae, but who's he to judge? & after a while Brounquex realises Mag doesn’t have anywhere to stay & he goes on mission Find Friend A Home & brings them to his village but uh. Orcs see evil-looking fae child & are like Fuck That!! Get it out! but he’s not givin up that easy, so they run away together.

They were probably around 10 or something when that happened? & they have absolutely no luck finding somewhere to stay & they find out real quick that no one's going to take in an orc ((they’re uncivilised!)) or a fae ((they’re manipulative & evil!)), much less an abomination, even if it’s only half, so mostly they just hide out wherever they can. When they get to their early teens ((13 or 14, maybe?)) they start hiding out around this really hug library, because it’s so big they can avoid people a lot of the time & still have things to do. Anora's parents own the library, & she’s around the same age as Brounquex & Mag. She finds them eventually, because she’s a very chaotic werewolf child & climbs literally everywhere & Must Investigate Everything &, this eventually included the really weird looking kids hidden in one of the lesser-used portions of the library. They’d been pretty heavily isolated from other people, so as soon as they realised she wasn’t gonna rat them out, they just instantly claimed her as one of them. Obviously they couldn’t hide in the library forever, & as much as Anora pleaded, they were eventually forced out by her parents, so they took to roaming againz They still met up with her whenever they could, though! & eventually a few years later, when they were around 15 or 16 or something, she introduced them to her vampire boyfriend Corinth, who seemed very off but they weren’t exactly normal either, so who were they to judge? & then maybe Anora's parents didn’t approve of her boyfriend or something I dunno, & they ran off, & she knows her friends have been doing this since they were little, so she meets up & they all join up as a group & roam or whatever.

Eventually they all get curious about Corinth's family, because they’ve all talked in-depth about their histories but they haven’t heard a word about Corinth's & eventually he spills that actually, he’s not exactly.. from. Here. He’s from somewhere else, & he didn’t look like this, & he wasn’t even supposed to be this species or have this name it’s just what they called him when he first showed up but they weren’t his parents, his parents' names were Max & Ariel & they were human & not whatever Pendwyn & Eliam were, & he’s sure they were good people but they weren’t his family. So he ran away. & of course they’re all like w h a t & they all have a million questions, but Brounquex is the first one to ask for his actual name & he says "Madeline" & they’re all like "... oh" & turns out she was recently ((within the last year or smth)) transported from wherever she was from after going to some café? They all really wanna figure out how to get her home, because as much as they all love her, they want her where she belongs, but at the end of the day, they’re all confused 16-year-olds that are all lost from home & they don’t know anything about anything. So they give up.

I’m not gonna get into the whole Ophilane situation since I already went over it, but they stole forcefully adopted her when they were in their early twenties & she was around 4. She’s half cyclops & half fae & Mag of course was like :^0 same hat!! & Brounquex is half-orc not half-cyclops but they’re kinda similar(?) so he’s also like :^0 same hat!!(??) So they end up kinda becoming like her parents. By this point, they’re all in one big ole polycule, but isn’t like a new thing. Brounquex & Mag have been QPRs for basically the whole time ((they probably got close enough to actually be in a relationship at ~12 or smth)) & Anora & Madeline became a part of th relationship a bit after they all ran off, though Anora & Madeline are still in a romantic relationship. So they’re all kinda Ophilane's parents in a way.

That’s all I’ve got for Mag's relationships sorry for writing so much lmao. They live in my head rent-free.