#they were made when i was first learning how to draw trolls

[ryssbelle]

Lil trolls ocs doodles I did, the first two were my own attempts at mixing Poppy and Branchs dna and the second is a very cute troll who belongs to @spjs

[littlestpetgoth]

Tell us more about your little homestucks?

ok.. ill only go over my descendent ocs because they're the ones ive been posting about recently, i have too many homestuck ocs to cover lol..

mayosi pyrope is the first descendent oc i made back when there was a brief trend on twitter to make, fan descendants of the trolls. i think i was inspired by ko's descendent acarid, and terezi being one of my favorite trolls i ended up making a bootleg pyrope. (and i draw them together all the time bc they rot my brain)

they're a radical transmasc weeaboo skater "vigilante" who grew up being raised by humans in a very normal average household where they got basically anything they wanted with no issues. their interests include; dishing out justice, watching animes, playing videogames, and doing sick tricks on their board. they wield a katana that resembles terezi's dragon cane.. they're my simplest designed character, and though they look a lot like terezi with a skirt and long hair their design was heavily influenced by dirk because i imagined that dirk has influenced some kind of anime character that mayosi obsesses over and has based their look on..

they aren't at all interested in, being a lawyer or anything like that and would like to take care of bad guys samurai batman style in their ideal world.. unfortunately the loving gently parenting of their human family didn't toughen them up enough so they're mostly a baby who doesn't do well when faced with conflict. mayosi's easily bossed around by anyone who firmly tells them to do something because they're too scared to step up and stand up for themself and others, they have a lot of shame for not being as strong and cool as terezi or red glare. real wet blanket.

uuuh like terezi, they weren't always blind. they were lured in by their ex best friend now super complex hate not boyfriend acarid and he poured acid into their eyes, ruining their vision and giving them crazy chem burn scars.. i think around this time they were also given their super rad pointy shades so they can look more like their hero, but it was a major blow to their confidence since not only are they a weak coward they're now a weak coward who can't see. they eventually learn to navigate the world via sound waves, its not as effective as terezi's sniff and taste vision but mayosi isnt as interested as smelling and licking everything in their presence.

example of what i think it's like for them here..

theyyy are convinced by acarid to join him in his perfect sburb sesh, where they eventually grow a pair and cut off his arm and gouge his eyes before being shot in the brain and killed dead without ever waking on their moon. (sad) mayosi's feelings about acarid, who essentially abuses and manipulates them constantly, are very complicated because they feel an obligation to take on the brunt of his crazy in order to protect everyone but also because they cling to the nostalgic memories they have of him and are hoping he'll one day go back to that.

kokesi megido is based on kokeshi dolls, i think she sees ghosts and is really scared of them so she's super skittish and is always finding ways to shoo them away.. she probably knows how to speak japanese ig, i dont have a lot to say about her unfortunately.. i like how her design turned out though.

grimir maryam and romato vantas are brothers adopted into a rich human family, they're both spoiled brats and are constantly bickering with each other when they aren't pretending the other exists. grimir is mute and likes to garden (sooo original, i know) and romato speaks a lot and is a hopeless romantic writer. shrug.

i don't have as much to talk about. for any of my descendents other than mayosi because i have a really hard time developing ocs when i dont have people to bounce ideas off of. i mean most of mayosi was formed around acarid's existence and from ko's influence, otherwise they also wouldn't be developed . sorry .

[stephaniebrownslover]

Annual Duck Competitions With Pastas And Tons Of Other Shit[Crack]—Part 4

Anas means duck in Latin.

Guys please give some reaction and tell me my mistakes and your opinions!

Also sorry if this chapter is bad but I'm ill.

There was silence in the atmosphere for a while. This was more reminiscent of the calm before the storm than a peaceful silence. 

As a matter of fact, that's what happened with Cody's intervention.

“Right. This is the worst thing I've ever heard."

Clockwork, with a rather serious expression, placed her left hand, which didn't has a wand around her waist.

"And your face is the worst thing I've ever heard."

"How dare you!"

Hoodie didn't even deign to break his calmness as Cody stood up angrily. This was a situation that he was very used to.

“Really? Is that the only thing you notice here?"

"Oh, you're right. Thanks, Hoot-Hoot."

Hoodie grimaced from under his mask at the nickname he heard, he really hated this stupid boy. And just when he thought he couldn't do anything even more stupid, Cody misled him once again.

"How dare you call me ugly just because you've heard some bullshit and not even bother to look at my face!"

"I give up."

Hoodie slightly scraped up the cloth face mask. He put his hand in his pocket, took out a pack of cigarettes, not caring that they were in an enclosed space. He first offered the package to Masky, then he himself took a branch of cigarette and placed it back in his pocket.

Clockwork knew that the inside would be covered by smoke, but she did not want to further distract the matter, which was already too drifted away.

“Fine. Before we get back, does anyone want me to explain why Cody's face is ugly?"

Or did she want to?

Of course, she was not surprised when she saw that no hands were raised from among the crowd.

"Good."

With a long stick in her hand, she pointed to Cody, who was sitting among the audience, crossed his arms around each other.

"When we look at Cody's face shapes, we see a unicorn vomited on it."

Cody just yell when he heard what was being said to him, he had learned by experience how passionate Toby's girlfriend was about arguments.

"Hey!"

And Jeff shouted from somewhere backstage, towards to Clockwork.

"And that unicorn is also a troll!"

"Yes!"

After hearing this, Toby muttered with using a tone of voice that only people sitting next to him could hear.

"I think we sho-uld bre-ak up."

"What, no! You guys are so cute together!"

When Nina suddenly shouted, Clockwork was very curious about what was going on. She certainly didn't like the fact that she wasn't in control of the situation.

"Hey, you two! What the fuck is going on there?!"

Nina got up from her seat and went near to Toby while she was talking., who was sitting at the back.

"Tobes and I were planning your birthday party, nothing important!"

Just as Toby opened his mouth to speak, Nina pressed her hand hard against his mouth.

"I said, mmphf-"

Clockwork raised one eyebrow in the air and posed the best question that could be asked in response to the strange sight in front of her.

"Why are you holding Toby's mouth?"

"Uh, because- Because he's hungry! I let him chew my hand until dinner!"

Toby slackened wearily under Nina's grip; he showed no further resistance. Instead he licked Nina's palm to help his silent rebellion.

"Um, okay."

Nina calmly made a sign to Cody to get up from his seat. Cody, who understood the signal instantly, got up and sat down in the vacant chair next to Jane.

"You're doing great, honey, keep talking!"

Nina and Toby were also sitting down; Nina's hand was still over Toby's mouth.

Clockwork pointed again with the stick in her hand to the heart-shaped Masky drawing she made just before their presentation.

"Jeff, put the love-boy-Masky-paper away."

"You can also buy it in auction later!"

After Jeff took the drawing in his hand, instead of placing it on the edge, he grasped it together with both hands and raised it above his head.

"We're not doing an auction."

He pressed the drawing to his own chest as he took it down.

"That's why no one came."

"I'm leaving."

Clockwork, who was annoyed when she saw Helen get up, addressed him.

"I'd sit down if I were you, scumbag. I wouldn't want my baby face ruined."

Helen was clenching his fists while trying to control himself to stay calm.

"Take back your words."

"Make me."

Liu put his hand on Helen's shoulder. Looking into his eyes, he shook his head from side to side, gently squeezed her shoulder. 

When Helen sat down, Liu was the one who spoke this time.

"Brother, can you finish this meaningless presentation as soon as possible please? Unlike you, some of us have quite busy lives."

Clockwork gave a rather short answer to this question, as if it had been addressed to her.

"Shut up, nerd."

"No one can call my brother nerd except me!"

When Jeff shouted angrily this time, winds of chaos began to blow around.

"Enough!"

A figure in a blue mask standing up from the audience caused both of them to stop.

"Oh shit, Jack was here?"

Jeff was surprised to see the creature he described as his friend. He thought that hhe didn't have time for this kind of work. Moreover, Jeff had told Masky not to insist because he knew that he was uncomfortable with crowded environments.

Jack pointed to Jeff with one of his long, gray fingers.

"You, immediately cut this stupid behavior."

Then he turned his attention to Clockwork.

"And you'd better finish this damn presentation soon."

As he pointed at him again, Jeff was startled by the black gaps under his mask.

"Or your dumb friend will have a punch in his pumpkin like face."

Instead of making a deal, she preferred an option that would cause a fight again.

"Try me."

"With pleasure. But I have things to do."

Jack was watching Clockwork with a menacing expression. It could not be said that he saw the surroundings exactly. More like he could distinguish shapes, but that was enough for him.

Zero shouted in a high-pitched voice from among the small crowd.

"Hey, nobody can punch Clock other than me!"

Clockwork took a deep breath with boredom, tried to use a calm tone of voice.

"You can't punch me too, Zero."

Zero used an even louder tone of voice this time, her voice almost resembled a battle cry.

"No one can punch Clock without me!"

Sitting in the corners of the middle row, Sally covered her ears, annoyed by the loud noise she was constantly exposed to. She also knew that this would not do any good, but she would prefer it to be a little quieter.

"They are very noisy."

Ben nodded, making it clear that he agreed with her.

"I know, Sally, I know."

"They are like a big baby."

Ben couldn't take it anymore and squeezed Sally's cheek.

"God, why are you the only sane person in this manor?"

Sally was holding her hands to her ears on the one hand, and on the other she was trying to distance herself from Ben.

She really hated being treated like a little baby.

"Silence in the court!"

"Yes, what Jeff said!"

Thinking that they couldn't do a job when Jeff and Clockwork just keep shouted, Masky threw his finished cigarette on the floor of the house; then he put it out with the help of his shoe.

"Everyone, go back to your seats, now!"

After a few seconds, the peaceful atmosphere attached to the cotton thread had been restored.

“Right. I'll keep the presentation if this shit is over."

Clockwork spoke again, looking at Jeff.

"Where was I?"

"Lover-kid Masky."

Ignoring Jeff completely, she turned her gaze to the audience.

"Oh yes, why we chose the ducks."

Using a rather serious tone of voice, she directed a question to the crowd.

"Has anyone attacked by a duck before?"

She was really surprised to see that no one raised their hand. She pointed with the index finger of her left hand at the smiling Jeff.

"No? Just this idiot?"

Clockwork used her stick to gently press against Jeff's chest while the crowd kept their stunned gaze.

"You told me that everyone was attacked by ducks!"

Jeff took a few steps backward, moving himself away from the pointy end of the stick. 

"Because they supposed to!"

Clockwork took a step forward and addressed the crowd again.

"We'll pretend this question didn't happen. Anyways, we chose to race the ducks because they are the most aggressive animals in whole world."

"And they can hurt you so badly!"

She didn't even turn his face to her when Jeff shouted from behind.

"Yes, Jeff, they hurt very badly. But the thing is, ducks have spirit's of true warriors."

This is the second time Ann has spoken out since the presentation happened. She really thought very contrary to Clockwork in this regard, and she felt the need to state it.

"Ducks are weak."

"No, keep your mouth shut, Ann. Ducks are awesome and they can kick everyone's ass."

Jeff called out from behind again.

"And they're very cute."

"What, no! Ducks are warriors of the wild!"

Clockwork shouted using an extremely harsh tone of voice.

"They even worshipped ducks in ancient Egypt because of their strong nature."

Liu could put up with Clockwork's nonsense for his brother, but giving false information to society?

This was an absolutely unacceptable mistake.

"I have to intervene, but I think this information is just mixed with another common belief. Did you mean a cat I believe?"

"I know what I'm saying, library-head. Jeff and I discovered an ancient Egyptian cult, which worships ducks."

Liu couldn't find anything to talk about because he was in absolute shock. 

He didn't know exactly which part surprised him more, that there was a cult that worshipped ducks, or that these two people had revealed the existence of such secret cult?

Of course, they could also be lying.

"Yes, they were very weird! I think they tried to sacrifice me to their goddess."

Helen murmured to himself.

"Good Lord."

Clockwork was eager to continue her speech as she had finally managed to reach the main important place.

"Yes, yes. This is all unnecessary, shitty information."

"I was fuckin' dying!"

"Maybe I should have just allow it. Whatever. The main thing is, this cult is still keeping up to their activity. They think they survived with the help of their holy goddess Anas."

Clockwork took the pencil that was on the in front of the board and began to make a drawing to make what she was saying sit better in their minds.

"This duck has been living for thousands of years and protecting them. And we need permission from their goddess for duck races."

When she finally finished the drawing, what appeared on the board was a three-eyed duck clothed in a rather fancy way. In addition, she pulled out several arrows and wrote these things;

'She Can Talk'

'Quite clever'

'She can Fly'

'Can spray fire from her mouth'

The crowd was so surprised by this situation that they didn't know what to say.

This couldn't be real, could it?

These two idiots must have been drunk or something, or they were just lying since it was too absurd to be true.

Other parts

When Jeff shouted in an enthusiastic tone of voice, a few words had come out of his mouth caused everyone to be even more shocked.

"And I stole their duck goddesses!"

[windmills123]

what if... you told me all about your fansession (i would love to learn more about it)

no way the real moss guy in my inbox... heehe... im actually really excited to ramble about this!!! =D back when i first read hs i made many fan characters but i got an idea to make a fansession where, instead of the 12 zodiac signs it was the 22 major tarot cards..... and it kinda went from there!

because obviously 22 character session would be insane i at some point formed out 6 kids who were having The Session, and the rest of the characters were "npcs" made by sburb. but yknow, more humanlike than the carapacians, so kinda akin to the trolls. oh yea i changed some of the sburb worldbuilding for this, so i suppose its an alternate version of the game.... ;p also the session would take place around 2019.

okeeey anyways heres the players!

ester olsen (the star) is a knight of hope from sweden who's foolish and hyperactive but also very hopeful and loyal like a dog, she's internally a deviantart kid who draws exclusively on ms paint and sburb's quest for her is to become a typical hero. her land is a field with a country town inhabited by animal people.

her older brother emil (the chariot) is a rogue of breath who moves trough life very fast and always thrives to make progress by any means, and also takes care of ester... because hes awesome... his land is a giant sea of energy kind of similar to terezi's.

elio cassini (the sun) is the heir of light, he's just a really lucky boy who likes jrpgs and magic spells. he's anxious and keeps to the rules but well meaning; best friend of ester. he learns to accept the dark sides of the world instead of escaping from them. his land is an orange desert full of broken glass, ancient bones and mysteries.

elio's sister is nastia the maid of space (the empress)! she's kind of a snarky girl next door who likes art, gardening, fashion and baking but she struggles with persistence. her land is a field of giant flowers.. and frogs of course ;p

selene's the mage of void (the moon). (no surname i thought of for these two..... whoops....) she's the oldest one and also very lonely, although she isn't expressive she tends to cling to other people. she used to like weird and fascinating things, her land is a broken apart mountainous area flooded by dark water!

then selene's younger brother rasmus the prince of time (the emperor)! hes your average delinquent scriptie kid who tends to get into fights (usually with ester), but he's never completely malicious. his land is a fiery lava pool that's hard to navigate.

the goal is still to make the next universe via a frog, but theres no derse and prospit and instead dreaming just teleports your ghost self to a random location. there's still a fight between dark and light though, but this time it's the magician card (light) and the high priestess card (dark) who have their forces battling it out, which is pretty much everyone else, on a skaia stand in which is no longer a chessboard and now just a black and white planet. they're also the final bosses in place of king and queen, and they get stronger the session goes on so the party needs to act fast!!!

idk how to summarise the whole duration of the session to be honest because too much stuff gets involved.. but basically they do make it out in the end! (with some major character deaths though... hehh..)

well uhh this makes wayy more sense in my head lol, but i hope you like it! =D i have some drawings but i havent really made anything properly rendered that has all of them... also i would love to hear about your fansession!

[faerie-starv]

Deviantart Anniversary/Story

I forgot to post this two days ago so here it is. Warning, it's a long story so I hope you have a free time to read.

I created my very first social media account was Deviantart on October 6, 2007. I was living in Orlando for attending college and it was my first time being away from home, renting an apartment, and creating my own account. I started college in July 2007 and was majoring for Multimedia Design(which changed into Digital Media). A week after I started my second quarter, I decided to create my DA account. Quick note, here's the link of what Deviantart looks like back in 2007 by using Wayback Machine so you can get the idea.

Before I made my account, I first discovered the site back in early 2006 when I was browsing through Kingdom Hearts fan site and went to the gallery page section. It was showing fan art from other fans with links of their social media sites(MySpace, Deviantart, etc.). One pic I found was none other than the artist is called Keysha-chan as she was a huge Kingdom Hearts fan and drew them as cute chibis by using Copic markers. I checked out her DA page and I was amazed of her talent as she's the same age as I am. She not only drew KH but she also drew Final Fantasy, Fullmetal Alchemist, Jax and Daxter. She even made her own manga by creating her original characters, Elemental Goddess. She's no longer on Deviantart as she's now active on Instagram(which I follow her) and changed the username to KeyshaKitty.

After I created my DA account, she was the first person I watched. I saved the tutorials such as the markers and plushies. I learned some of it as I'm still learning how to use markers(you'll probably see some of them on my Tumblr page). She was the reason why I created my DA account. Back then, there was a lot of great art; fan art, original art, photography, CSS layouts, etc. There was no AI, people don't mind the 'cringe' art, no one accused you of being 'racist/homophobic/etc.', no SJW's, no walking on eggshells, and so forth. Sure, there was art theft and some trolls but nothing too major like what's happening on Twitter/X or on Facebook today.

I posted my first journal entry and introduced myself then went on following/faving spree.

I couldn't post my artwork till two days after I made the account because I didn't have printer/scanner back then and can only rely at college. It was Sunday when I first logged in and the school was closed. I couldn't upload my pics on Monday as I was starting my class and stay behind to use their Photoshop programs(back then, I didn't have Photoshop). I posted this pic on Tuesday as it was my OC's(which it needs some serious update and I'm making changes) while using some Photoshop. Please excuse my crappy pic as I didn't know what Mary Sue was or that the anatomy was way off. I am planning to remake the pic in the future.

As the date says, I was using the school's computers to put together my pic and it was before I made the account.

I later posted few more pics; two of them were my oil paintings I made when I was sixteen and one photo of Lake Placid, FL that my family used to go on weekends.

Later on, I watched another user who goes by Lily Pily and she was a big Nightmare Before Christmas/Corpse Bride/Kingdom Hearts fan. I read her crossover fan comics and loved her OC's which she became the first deviant to do an art trade with. I asked her if she can draw Emily from Corpse Bride while she asked me to draw her OC also named Emily. This is not my best pic of her as I'm still learning how to draw humans.

I'm also planning to redraw her as well. I'm hoping to follow Lily Pily's other social sites but I don't think she has any besides Deviantart. I still want to keep following her for her art.

I finally got around to post my first DA ID but I kinda traced the figure from the books so you can see how different it is(not proud of it hence why I later took it down).

My god, that pic looks awful! Tracing doesn't help either so it certainly does not make my pic better. The dress is so much cringe as it was based on my old Halloween fairy costume but the colors are just, ugh!!! The wings aren't very good and the pastel colors doesn't mix very well with the dress. This is why I took the pic down a year and a half later. This is what my fursona looked like back then before seeing the current version you see today. There's a reason why I don't like tracing nor using bases(like what I did on my ponysona for Neocities) because it just limits me from doing things. I want to be in control of things.

During 2007 and 2008, I didn't really gain any watchers except two who I know in real life. I also didn't get faves nor comments either until 2009. It was because of two things; one is that I didn't socialize with others nor joined clubs(before it turned into groups) hence why I lack of gaining watchers. Second is that my art was mostly non fan art and I just focused on creating my OC's but sadly, no one was interested in them. :( It wasn't until in 2009 is that I bought myself a digital camera from Walmart and started taking photos. Once I posted them on Deviantart, that's when I gained more watchers, comments, and faves. I still owned this camera to this very day.

Yeah, I used Adobe Illustrator to draw my camera. Loved that camera!

I took a bunch of photos mostly from theme parks and city downtown as well as flowers and birds. So photography is one of the reasons why my page is getting attention but another thing I've done is creating crystal orbs for fun.

Those gained a lot of popularity. Then I started to create my Fakemon, Faerie Mews based on the elements.

The first one was a Fire Faerie Mew(the other is the Chinese Fire Faerie Mew) then I created four more. I ended up making a final pic of four main elements. I really loved making them and I am planning to remake them in the future. I do want to finish the Chinese Elemental Faerie Mews as I only did one but didn't get around to finish.

I would love to post more of my old DA artwork here but I'll have to save it for other time as I can only limit on how many I can put in this post. I just wanted to post the story of my DA anniversary to share it with everyone.

If your asking me about my DA account, don't bother because I closed it back in January due to the site being overrun by AI and the admins stopped caring about the artists. I already removed my pics a year before they allowed AI(thank god I did that) to make it easier for me to clean up and deactivating the account. I've been on DA for fourteen years(fifteen if I choose to stay) before calling it quits.

So now I'm moving on here, Inkblot, Square, and Neocities to post my art. Hopefully you guys enjoyed my long ass story.

[smieska-draws]

Hello. How are you and your health? Well... in general... I wanted to ask a few questions. 1 - When did you learn to draw and why did you want to do it? 2 - What are your favorite hobbies? 3 - When did you get to know Undertale and Deltarune? 4 - What are your favorite characters of these two games? 5 - How do you feel about such ships as Asrisk and Krilsei?

oh butts I only just saw this ;0;' sorry for the delay!

I'm doing alright, 'cautiously optimistic' is more like it...!

1 - I've always been attracted to making things and seeing how things are made. I remember always looking in awe as a kid when my dad would open up the VHS player to clean it and he would show me how it worked.

So naturally, I kinda just always stuck with drawing because I loved reading comics, I would doodle in class, flipbooks, all that good stuff. I started "taking it seriously" (ex: became obsessed with digimon) at like.. 13 or something, as you do. I lived in the middle of nowhere in the 2000s with primitive internet so I had to teach myself how to draw. I remember constantly taking out the only book on artist anatomy in the library several times.. deviantart tutorials were starting to pop up so mid 2000s there were some of those... But it was pretty much just through observation and making my friends pose for me while I drew lol (I have a whole can of worms about that but oop i won't rant)

2- Bringing back the 'creating of things', I low key scold myself everytime I get invested in a new craft. I really wish crafts were more appreciated instead of it being seen as an old lady or kid thing.. So I enjoy a lot of crafts!!! Sewing, embroidery, painting, MAKING paint, making paper/bookbinding, beading, crocheting, stained glass, cooking/baking, so many damn things. My absolute favourite types of videos to watch are the 'making sculptures out of trash', or restorations (paintings, consoles or old things) just.. HNG. CREATING STUFF AND SEEING HOW THERE'S MADE. AAA 😔👌

3 - When it initially blew up lol it came out in September 2015, I was visiting back home and just enjoying autumn, but my tumblr dashboard was getting inundated with two cartoon skeletons and something about spaghetti? So in October I went back to my apartment and thought 'huh ok lets give it a shot i guess', BAM. heart full, tears wept. Gote boi hugged.

Deltarune was more of a surprise lol Since that day before halloween in 2018, the undertale twitter was being cryptic so I thought it was going to be a Gaster reveal or something. Nope, he just ... dropped a whole ass game on halloween. Amazing. I remember zooming home in the rain after work to play it. I thought it was a troll by Toby, like he saw all the endless AUs being made and decided as a joke he'd make his own AU. But... the game kept going and I thought, 'ok this is too elaborate to be a prank omg' ALSO, seeing Ralsei all cloaked up and mysterious, i sus'd him out IMMEDIATELY (mainly because my fav is Asriel and YOU KNOW the first thing i did was hug Ralsei because i cried like a baby in undertale) The one thing I wanted from undertale was for Asriel to be by your side and supporting you (instead of being a sneaky soulless flower) and HELL YEAH I GOT MY WISH. AAAA

5 - meh I've never been a shipper of any kind. Even when I have 2 characters do a thing together that people immediately go 'OMG HAVE THEM KISS' i'm just like '??? no ??? they're very close friends, are they not allowed' idk idk i feel like i'm on the outside of things like that. I personally despise labels and I just like to play with characters and their different personalities, stories and stuff. Its like playing in a sandbox.

[cloudbattrolls]

Left Hand Free

Jikiro Takami | Gliese Benral’s Territory | Present Night

Notes: The prior drabble to this is You & Me: Part Two. Yarrex and Reality’s Song belong to @trolloled!

He had to admit, this wasn’t quite how he’d imagined returning to fight Gliese, with a nervous-looking olive and smiling brownblood in tow. Gerrel had been a big help in recommending the cheerful sniper. 

Maidel hadn’t said much as they’d met up at Viltau’s, her eyes flicking around nervously, but Yarrex seemed like a fun guy. A little weird, but hey, who was Jikiro to judge? He was strange company’s CEO by this point. 

The three of them had just teleported to the edge of the hedge maze, the blueblood’s mansion dimly visible beyond the foliage. The weather wasn’t too bad, thankfully - some clouds, but there was enough moonlight to see by, and the wind was mild. It was a bit chilly, though the tealblood barely felt it; a benefit of being undead, he supposed. 

Maidel wore a jacket and a scarf, but he felt comfortable in some simple pants and a shirt; he couldn’t wear anything too restrictive anyway for his part of the plan.

Gerrel and Maidel hadn’t reported any security drones or guards or anything; while Gliese was high on traps she was low on troll power, so they should be safe here for the moment. 

Then again, with powers like she and her signmate - good god she had a signmate - had, the pair didn’t exactly need a ton of backup.

“I don’t sense her.��� Maidel confirmed in a soft voice. “She can’t be close. That’s good, but we’ll have to draw her out.”

Jikiro grinned.

“Oh, I’ll draw her out. Let’s get Yarrex in position first.”

Following a short exchange, the brownblood was given a psiionic shield made from Maidel’s powers and teleported off to the hive - but there was no telling how well said shield would hold up against a psychic as powerful as Kit. 

Ullane had provided them each with a backup nullifier, but it only had so much range, and the machines couldn’t be on when Maidel had to use her own psi again. 

Especially since the pangolin-sheep troll had to conserve her energy for nullifying and restraining Gliese once Jikiro triggered a seizure, then taking them all back. 

They’d have to work quickly.

She returned, put the last part of their plan in place with his help - within minutes, they’d ensured all the devices were pointed in the right direction and the sound barrier (though it wasn’t perfect) was in place. Maidel moved away, ready to activate it remotely when Gliese was in range. 

The tealblood cracked his knuckles. Time to do what he could do very well when occasion called for it, having learned from the master since wrigglerhood.

Be annoying.

He pulled out some sheets of paper - kozo, the good old-fashioned kind, with spells already drawn on them, ready to be activated with a touch. 

He downed some ink with a quick gulp from a bottle, then brushed his hand across each page and watched as the symbols wriggled, lifted off the paper, and knit together into small, simple creatures. They weren’t direct analogues of animals, but most resembled bugs in some way - dark, quick and skittering. 

At a gesture from him, they went to locate the cerulean, zipping away through the air. 

The little constructs would find the hare troll, bother her, and corral her to where he needed her. They’d dissolve once they achieved that, but they had the important utility of being impervious to anything she could throw at them.

She’d be forced to pursue the things if she wanted them gone, with a few instructed to “die” to egg her on, make her think she had a chance of getting rid of them if she followed and kept trying.

He took out a cigarette to smoke while he waited. He hadn’t had the chance in a little while. 

It wasn’t long before he heard the telltale sounds of cursing, the thudding of her lusus’s feet, and took a final drag before lowering it and putting it in his sylladex. His lusus hadn’t gotten him to quit, but he could never litter without knowing she’d kill him for it.

Gliese Benral came within range, looking at him with utmost hatred in her glowing orange eyes. Again she sat atop her lusus, the giant hare matching his charge’s glare as he strode closer, fangs bared. The last of the constructs fizzled away into ink, which returned to the teal, symbols swirling on his skin. 

Maidel flipped the switch on the reality’s song setup loaned to them by Ullane, rigged into a network of speakers surrounding the tealblood and the blueblood.

The sound hurt his ears, even muffled and at a distance as it was. It was carefully sealed to only be focused outwards, so he could still use magic, as long as he was careful to not get too close to the edge of the barrier.

Gliese too still had her powers, with one very important limitation: there were only so many ghosts she could draw on now, and the noise itself would make it hard for her to retreat.

Sure enough, she gritted her teeth as it was activated but sat up straight and haughty on her lusus anyway, large ears flicking. The animal stared at him with narrowed eyes, baring its fangs and pawing the ground as if it wanted to charge at him.

“Should I even bother asking why you’re back?” She spat. “Or should I just kill you again?”

“You could make this easy and just come with me.” He said, shrugging. “But let’s be real; neither of us really wants that.” 

“Goddamn right.” Snarled the blueblood, whipping out a flamethrower.

Huh. He hadn’t expected that, drawing a quick symbol on his shirt. 

As she activated it the flames only got so far before it sputtered and died, gushing ink. Jikiro relished the look on her face for all of five seconds as her lusus ran forward and she leapt off, putting that weapon away and whipping out her scythe.

He dodged as best he could, jumping away, but she sliced open his side, raising her blade to try again. He winced, gritting his teeth. 

Stopped a hair’s breadth from his skin, he held the weapon in place with sticky restraints of his own ink-blood, trailing from the slowly bleeding gash. 

Gliese’s face twisted in disgust and frustration, and she yanked on the scythe, pulling it free with a few good tugs - only to have it snatched by the teal and thrown over her head. 

She snarled, orange sparks crackling around her, and despite his wound Jikiro smiled. 

A zombie rose and tossed her scythe back to her, but he wasn’t there. He sealed his wound and drank more ink, pooling it below him and using the liquid to slide at speed, making a trail where he went and sealing it dry in his wake, making sure it adhered to the grass.

Air swirled around his skin where her scythe nearly got him again, and he spun around another zombie that popped out of the ground to grab at him. Giddy from the thrill as the wind tossed his ponytail around, Jikiro dodged more undead bursting around, trailing more ink behind him as he looped and zigzagged. 

The pain of his wounds lessened as he focused on his footwork, as he taunted the growing ranks undead and their controller as she pursued him, and the tealblood grinned. 

Until the giant hare’s powerful back legs sent him flying, skidding across the ground, wheezing as the air left his lungs in a sharp, painful blow. He felt the painful increase of the grinding notes, close to the barrier, and gritted his teeth. He felt the world trying to purge him as he struggled to rise. 

No, not yet. He wasn’t quite done.

He looked up as he heard a horrible cracking, squelching noise and a terrible stench filled the air.

Ah, shit.

Gliese stood atop a structure of warped undead corpses over a dozen feet tall, supporting her as she glared daggers down at him. It grew further as he watched, just far enough from the barrier to work, and he felt the presence of ghosts again. 

The lusus kept its distance from its charge’s creation, ears flattened, and Jikiro gritted his teeth. He didn’t like doing this.

Unfortunately for the giant hare, it stood directly on some of his dried ink.

He liquefied the material again, and bound the beast as it kicked and struggled. 

Gliese’s head whipped around to watch her custodian writhe, and Jikiro forced himself up, panting from his bad lungs - maybe he really should quit smoking - and summoned his ink again, forcing himself onward across the grass, breath misting the air from the chill. 

He managed a final few swirls and lines until Gliese forced him to the ground with both phantoms and the clawing fingers of a pair of zombies

The corpses pinned his limbs and forced him to look up at the psychic, her lean arms crossed as the wind tossed her hair around. 

He would have done so willingly. 

Blood and ink running down his face, missing a few fangs, covered in dirt and leaves - Jikiro grinned the vicious smile of a hunter whose prey just tripped the snare.

The teal snapped his fingers as the blueblood jumped from her morbid tower, blade raised to chop the tealblood’s head off.

The extensive symbol array he’d been drawing with his ink the whole time activated.

A series of flashing lights, a far larger-scale version of the symbol he’d drawn when they’d first met, with other colors, shone brilliantly through the cloudy night. 

The exact sort of sequence that, as Ullane had informed him, would trigger a seizure in any sensitive psiionic.

Jikiro’s eyes were shut, prepared, and he opened them the moment the sequence was over.

Gliese lay prone on her macabre structure, which crumbled to loose flesh and bones and as he watched. With a weary, satisfied smile he slid over on a small wave of black to catch her.

As her lean body fell into his arms he realized she really was quite small, especially for a highblood - she barely weighed a thing. How old was she? 

He took out another drawn symbol from his modus to tap and activate, and Maidel appeared moments later.

Eyes alight with lime energy, he bound the cerulean with his psi, shutting off the terrible sound barrier right after with a sigh. 

The tanuki troll stood there for a moment in the quiet, catching his breath as adrenaline coursed through him still. 

Despite his pain and fatigue, he couldn’t stop grinning. 

“Get Yarrex, and let’s go back.” He said. 

The olive returned with the sniper in short order, the lowblood unruffled as ever. 

In a burst of lime sparks, all of them vanished once more. 

–

Jikiro couldn’t have been happier to see the main hall of Viltau’s hive. He set down Gliese in a chair as the indigo had instructed, and then collapsed into one himself. 

God, he should get out of sight before someone tried to force him to change into clothes of his choice again - but he was tired, aching, and didn’t want to move. Not for a little while, anyway. 

He’d clean up the chair later as an apology, but right now, the tealblood could only doze.

Yet a smile remained on his sleeping face, the hard-earned satisfaction of a job finally well done. 

THE END OF 

THE DEADCRUSH ARC

PART OF THE RIPPLE EFFECT PLOT

[sunnetrolls]

1, 2, 6, 8, 12, and 22!

im doing urs first. just for fun

my god holy moly this got so long readmore time

1. Show your most recent wip

pspspspps [waves the prospect of ship art in front of you] if you do artfight i'll draw concordia ex machina next

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

FIVE? i don't draw that much!!! hold on i'll go browse

In no particular order! Veylin's bust painting is my fav ive done of any of those, i'm still rlly proud of nohope and planhz's sprites, i reaaaaaally love how i did the color and overlays on that abby headshot, and the dogy is an artfight attack from last year that is everything i love about my older lineless art style!!!

6. Which artists inspire you right now?

Alright buckle up folks this is a longer one

So I'm gonna answer this in two parts basically. The first part is artists that inspired me to start drawing what I like, especially fantrolls-- so a lot of my friends really!! Wanting to be in this community is what made me start actually doing art as something I was passionate about!!!!! The second part is actually twitter artists that inspired me to actually renovate my art style, try new things, and actually grow as an artist in ways that I really just never did here before.

I know I'm gonna forget a lot of people but the ones that come to mind right away for people who had an Impact on me back in the day are !!U!! gabriel 8bit-mau5, newt indig0trolls, my friend max who's no longer in the community, my friend lumiet who doesn't even do fantrolls but is really cool, and god a lot of old blogs whos muns are just gone now..................... wistful sigh :(

BUUUUUT as for artists who made me want to actually grow again in my. Wait hold on

[sets out a sign that says CRINGE WARNING -- I LIKED DSMP IN LATE 2020-EARLY TO MID 2021]

Okay now that that's out of the way! Some of the artists who made me actually want to learn and change and GROW again are giraffeleggos, mielzy_png, and WolfyTheWitch on twt :3 Mielzy especially is an art streamer who has a huge focus on being introspective and taking criticism and wanting to grow and always be improving in a direction they want. Hella cool to see someone be like, never satisfied in a "i love art and drawing so i want to grow and do it as well as i can as a respect for the craft" type of way. I don't think any of these guys except for Wolfy are actually into dsmp anymore but when I got into their content they were all dsmp fanartists so.

Okay this is really long actually so I'll quit there. Wait no actually here's a list of a handful of folks whose art inspires me to keep learning nowadays (also mostly all my friends)-- nero ramgodd, roe roetrolls, dami ask-the-troll-boys, greg lordtonic, and an extra special shoutout to chase sasster for making me want to write again. I just wanna do the cool art stuff like my really awesome friends so bad yall

8. What do you like most about your own work?

Hrmmmmmmmmmmm okay this one is tough bc both I wanna say "nothing bc I have a lot of strengths" and "nothing bc there's always room for me to grow and improve so even my best strengths aren't as good as they could and will eventually be"

But like. I really like how I paint actually

12. Show your favourite drawing from this year

FROM THIS YEAR.... ok let's comb thru my art tag

Oh wait easy simple. The whole fuckin aliquid ex nihilo comic. That took me so goddamn long but it was a labor of love and I desperately want to do more 1-page song comics like that but unfortunately they take me like 2 weeks if I do full lineart and that shit sucks

There are a lot of things I want to redo on it that are also things I redid in the process of making this comic but as is the nature of being so used to drawing sprites I forget how to draw people in actual poses and also interacting with things. I still think overall just because also of how funky I got with the coloring, framing, the fact that this is the first comic ive ever planned and fully completed ever, etc. that this one's my fav thing I've drawn in 2022 thus far

22. When is your prime time to work on your art?

Nighttime and also whenever I'm medicated LMAO I can NEVER focus on drawing if I'm off my meds idk how I did it before

[badedramay]

RE the whole critics debate, I'm not completely with Maya on this. I can't put all my thoughts in the ask box, but her main point seemed to be that reviewers are too critical of actors and I don't agree with that. SH eg may have debatable reviewing skills, but I wouldn't say they are relentlessly mean to any actor. SH praised Maya a lot in JBG and criticized her for PSM which I thought was fair. I would say same for Fuchsia. Don't watch Amma reviews so can't say about them.

the thing is Maya's statement was misinterpreted as her pointing out the few "big reviewing" platforms whereas I first heard her make a similar statement back in 2016 just when Diyar e Dil had finished airing (and YT reviewing platforms were still a thing of the future then). the platforms took it personally while Maya was talking about ALL kinds of negativity that she was subjected to for her weaker performances by every person commenting from the comfort of their homes without any regard of how their harsh words could affect the person they were addressed to. she has never been against constructive criticism, in fact she has always been welcoming for that. she has stated on record that constructive criticism has made her want to do better and learn from the mistakes she made. it's just the trolling and extreme negativity wrapped in the guise of "reviews" that she objects to. didn't Hassan say in his defense that they've been doing this since 2018 and Maya retorted that she's been working as an actor for 10 years now? she was drawing from her own experience that she has accumulated over the decade and making a general statement about it, that's all. COULD she have worded it better? definitely. but that's just how Maya is. heart in the right place, the words not always supporting it.

[cosmos-coma]

A Gift from Above- Part 8 (Final)

A/N: Part 8!! This is the FINAL chapter (unless you guys tell me you want an epilogue) its a really light and funny chapter and I’m pretty pleased with it! I hope you enjoy reading the interaction with Lambert as much as I enjoyed acting it out. 

Pairing: Eskel x Reader

Warnings: Mild language, unbeta’d

Word count: 3.2 K

Summary: A sweet and playful ending as you’re getting used to your life in Kaer Morhen, solidifying friendships, and saying your first “I love you”s

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

_________________________________________________

The next morning you went to the library to accompany Ciri as she took notes on the various types of trolls. It took Eskel a bit of convincing to let himself go train and leave your safety in the hands of others, but having you within the walls of the keep made him more at ease. 

You knocked on the large wooden doors before pushing them open and heading inside, looking around for a head of ashen hair. As you made your way around you eventually saw her sitting on the balcony with her wool cloak around her, taking advantage of the slightly warmer air before the frosts came.

“How are the trolls coming along?” You took a seat near her, looking over her various scribbles, some of legible words pertaining to the bestiary, and others bored little doodles of various things, including trolls making soup. 

She blew a raspberry as you sat down and looked over. “Y/n, there are so many trolls… rock, ice, volcanic… I wouldn't be surprised if there was a crystal troll somewhere out there.” She griped and flopped back on the floor in a starfish-like fashion. 

Laughing at her antics, you patted her leg in comfort. “But how amazing it would be if you could be the one to find it… why don’t you tell me what you know about trolls so far?” You said and sat back. 

Something seemed different about the way she carried herself in the time since you've been in Kaer Morhen. It wasn't the same way that she acted when you first met her, serious and down to business. Instead, now she seemed withdrawn and distracted like something had been eating at her over the past few days. Even her quips and light-hearted behavior felt a little forced of late. 

She groaned at your attempt to keep her on her lessons, but obliged you, telling you all about the things she had learned so far. You listened as she talked and watched the section of the courtyard below. Eskel and Geralt were training with Vesemir and the clanging of their swords echoed against the walls of the keep and the towering mountains encasing it. You watched as they practiced their fighting styles and signs, their feet and hands moving with the skill of decades of hard work. 

“Hey, Y/n?” asked Ciri, breaking your train of thought and drawing you back to the lesson at hand. 

“Sorry, Ciri. You can continue” You said looking back to her, turning your back to the courtyard. 

“Oh, no. it isn’t that…” she said, closing her book. She was quiet, a mix of thought and hesitation before she finally spoke again. “Are you- are we still friends?” 

Her expressions were still and practiced as she locked eyes with you. She was doing all she could to hold her racing emotions under the surface, but her eyes let show how worried she was at your answer. Her hands also gave some notion to her anxiety as she nervously cleaned under her nails, waiting for you to speak.

“Ciri, what on earth would make you question such a thing?”

“Well, I..” she said, screwing her mouth in thought before she finally exhaled. “I couldn’t save you… I tried running after, but I wasn’t fast enough. And I should have gone out with you, or gone to check, or something. Maybe then you wouldn’t be hurt and things would have been different.” Her voice raised near the end, her frustration becoming more apparent with each word.

“Oh, Ciri…” you whispered and closed the gap, coming to sit beside her now. Turning in on herself she brought her knees up to her chest and let herself lean against you a bit when your arm wrapped around her shoulders.

She stared at her shoes, unable to meet your eyes, and gently toed a pebble in front of her as you spoke. “I learned something years ago, Ciri… It’s a rule that binds us all, healers and Witcher’s alike.” you paused a moment. “And it’s that you can't save everyone-” 

“That doesn’t really make me feel any better…” she interrupted, now looking back at you. 

“- by yourself. You cant save everyone by yourself.” you finished. “It’s true that you couldn’t catch up to me, and I’ll never hold that against you. But what's more important is you went and got help.” Giving her shoulder a light squeeze she finally cracked a bit of a smile. “Together you all caught up to me, brought me back, and helped me heal…”, you smiled a touch yourself now. “And for that, I could never be more grateful….”

“So…” she said, kicking the pebble once more, before looking up at you again. “Still friends?”

“Still friends.” You said with a grin and heard the clanging of swords start once more, barely having noticed that they too paused to hear your answer.

After the talk, you and Ciri chatted for a bit, a much-needed break on her part. And though not all at once, she did seem to be getting back to the Ciri you knew. Hardworking and a bit of an old soul, but still experiencing the spirited mischief that came with childhood.

It was not too long into the afternoon when you heard hoof beats traveling up to the keep. Both you and Ciri stood to see who the lone dark figure was riding towards you. 

“Who is that?” you squinted, they were still pretty far away, maybe 15 minutes out, if they kept their pace.

Ciri gasped with renewed light and grinned a mischievous grin, a look only rivaled by the tricksters of legend. “It’s uncle Lambert!!” she all but shouted and made to rush down the stairs to the courtyard, dragging you along behind her. You swear her feet never even touched the stairs as she whizzed down them, grinning like a woman gone mad. 

Eskel and Geralt had paused their training when they heard Ciri shout, followed by the commotion as you most definitely knocked things over in your rush to keep up with the little Witcher. And watched as the two of you came barreling towards them.

“Not so fast there…” said Geralt as he swooped her up on her way by, her legs still moving furiously in the air. “You’re busy with lessons, Ciri. You can see Lambert later, he’ll be here all winter,” he said sternly, pulling one of the more fatherly looks you’ve seen from him. 

“But I know all the trolls…!” Ciri griped and frowned as Geralt finally set her down. 

“You know all the trolls?” Geralt questioned and thus soon started quizzing her on the creatures at hand. He was pleasantly surprised to see she had gotten all of them more or less correct. 

“Okay…” he said, crossing his arms. “Last question…. Which type of troll usually doesn’t speak common?” 

You saw the confident smile Ciri was wearing falter a bit as she blinked. She was raking her mind desperately to come up with an answer. “Uhh…”

From your position next to Ciri, you were in the perfect spot to see Eskel stand behind Geralt, trying to give her the answer. ‘ICE’ he mouthed over and over, bringing his arms up to make like he was shivering. It took all your composure to keep from laughing and you brought your hand to your mouth to further hide how hard you were biting your lips in the effort. 

“Uhhh… OH! Ice!” Ciri said, catching on, and proudly she wore her smile again, even bigger than before.

Geralt narrowed his eyes “Hmmm…. You’re correct. Go on, but don’t get into too much trouble on his first night here.” He said and waved her off. 

At his words, she tore off again towards the main gate. “Come on, Y/n!”

You snorted with laughter and waved to Eskel with a warm smile as you followed her at your own pace. Once you were a few paces away you heard Geralt punch Eskel in the arm and mutter “you and I both know the answer to that last question is not in the bestiary….”

You let out a laugh and shook your head at the pair. Everything felt a little lighter to you this morning; maybe it was the sun making everything slightly warmer or the relaxed state that seemed to blanket the keep now that everyone was for sure okay. Either way, you liked it. It reminded you of blithe times at your temple, playing and joking with fellow acolytes in the off-hours. Laughter filled the echoing halls then, and while you missed it occasionally, you wouldn’t trade Kaer Morhen for the world. Everyone here welcomed you into their family and treated you as such. It made your mind feel at ease, your body feel less heavy, and the memories of Mender stay at bay. 

Finally, you caught up to Ciri, followed a few paces behind by Eskel and Geralt, just in time to see the new Witcher stride in on his horse before swiftly dismounting. 

“Hey there, short stuff.” He said to Ciri as she went in for a tight hug. “Oof, you're gonna squeeze out my organs if you hug me any harder, kid”, he said with a grin and hugged her back. “Wait, that means I wouldn't have to do chores or help rebuild the walls, Ciri hug harder..!”

“I heard that..!” Came Vesemirs voice off in the distance, though you weren’t even sure where he was, let alone how he heard that. 

Lambert seemed to be the most expressive of the Withcers as you gathered, though all his expressions so far had a sarcastic or waggish air to them. As Ciri pulled back he then turned to notice you, immediately looking towards his brothers “Who the fuck is she?” 

“Who the fuck are you?” You retorted quickly, causing Eskel to stifle back a chuckle. You were thankful to him for giving you the rundown earlier on how to approach the youngest of his brothers. ‘Just give it right back to him’ he had advised.

Lambert stammered for a second in shock, more confused than before. 

“Who the fu- I LIVE HERE!” Lambert replied loudly.

Geralt himself smiled and rolled his eyes at the exchange before him and motioned to you. “Lambert this is Y/n, Eskel’s… companion,” said Geralt, finally settling on a term he felt would satisfy. 

You smiled a bit and offered your hand “I know who you are… it’s nice to finally meet you.”

He eyed you for a second before shaking your hand. “Wouldn’t have taken someone with a sense of humor to go for Eskel of all people.” He jested and grinned a bit. “Maybe this won't be too boring a winter after all.” 

As dinner rolled around all of you headed back to the main hall to eat and let Lambert get settled after his journey. The young Witcher soon enough coming back to join the group and plan this winter’s hijinks with his prankster-in-training, Ciri. As dusk rolled around the 3 young Withcers  broke out the white gull as well as their exciting stories from the year, seeing whose monster could top them all. 

As the weeks went on you had found your routine in Kaer Morhen. You would help Vesemir restock the potions and oils, research new concoctions, as well as help Ciri out with her lessons from time to time. All of this, you hoped, would help you still be useful to Eskel on the path.

Your wounds had almost completely healed, but your magic had still not returned to you. Thankfully neither Eskel nor Ciri had asked about it recently, however, you did have to spill the truth once so far. 

Vesemir, now ever the researcher since his role was resigned mostly to up-keeping the crumbling walls of Kaer Morhen, had asked if he could study and take notes on how your powers had worked in comparison to mages. He had been patient as you stumbled over your words, trying to explain your way around it, but in the end, you just spat it out as clear as day. He no longer brought it up after that but did recommend that you tell Eskel sooner rather than later. And you knew he was right. 

It was a cloudy morning following that. It had snowed gently in the early hours, just like many of your favorite mornings of the past few weeks. The snow crunched under your feet as you headed over to the training area. Geralt and Vesemir were paired against each other, refusing to hold back, just as you saw with Eskel and Lambert. The youngest Witcher was faster with his smaller frame, but Eskel was clever and well versed in his signs, making them quite evenly matched. Ciri, off to the side of the others, was going head to head with a wooden dummy, giving it everything she had.

Geralt, though younger than the aged Witcher, did not have nearly as much experience behind him, nor as much in his sleeves. With this experience, Vesemir was able to catch Geralt off guard and nicked him with a quick slash across the arm. 

“Damn…” Geralt swore and dipped his fingers in the blood running out the wound, not terribly long, but deep enough to bleed. 

Eskel and Lambert paused now to look over, more than happy to take a quick break from the stalemate they had found themselves in. “Looks like Vesemir’s still got it.” Eskel laughed. “Want me to grab the needle and thread?” 

Before Geralt could reply in the negative, Lambert interjected. “Wait, why doesn’t Y/n just use her magic fingers? I wanna see how this shit is supposed to work anyways” He said. 

“Oh, um… I don’t know…” you replied, wringing your hands a bit. The cold settling in your fingers would have loved to feel the warmth of magic, but you knew it would never work. 

“Ah, come on! And maybe see if you can give him a tail or something fun while you're at it.” He snickered and nodded towards you, both encouraging and expecting. Eskel on the other hand could see that something was not quite right with the way you held yourself and spoke up.

“Geralt will live on just fine. And We’re not about to make Y/n do anything after spending all of her morning restocking with Vesemir.” He said, giving you a small smile that made your heart feel warm. 

Vesemir apparently had plans of his own. “ Y/n, Eskel, why don't you go pick up one of the salves we’ve been experimenting with and we can try it out on Geralt…” He said, looking pointedly at you.

Biting the inside of your lip you nodded and took Eskel’s hand, heading off towards the main doors. You could feel your heartbeat faster as anxiety moved through you. You tried to focus instead on the heat in your hand and the way snow plopped from a few trees around the open yard.

“Y/n” Eskel said with a certain gentleness, stopping beneath one of these trees. He squeezed your hand and held it firmly to stop you from walking any farther. “I know something is wrong… your heartbeat is faster than normal,” He said as you turned back to face him. 

“And while you know I want you to rest while you recover, you’re always one to offer to heal anyone in need.” He observed, tugging you closer until the foggy puffs of breath you both let out mingled together. “What’s in your thoughts, dear?” he said quietly.

You smiled softly as he called you ‘dear’ and were happy when he drew you a little closer to him, the cold of the day whipping up your legs. “Eskel…” you started, trying to figure out your words. At last, you decided just to spit it out instead of suffering through your worry. If he didn’t think you were suited to follow him anymore then you'd only suffer once instead of agonizing over everything he could say in response.

“Eskel, I’ve lost my magic. I can't heal anymore…” you blurted out and looked up at him. “I tried to heal myself and nothing took. I can't heal, I can’t defend myself like I used to.” You looked away from his piercing yellow eyes and down at your still linked hands. “Everything I’ve devoted myself to is up in smoke… and now I- I don’t know …” you sighed as you just couldn’t put your thoughts into words enough to go on. 

Eskel had the smallest smile as you told him what was taking up your thoughts. “Is that all?” He pulled you closer and held your ice-like fingers. “Y/n… Why do you think I like keeping you with me on the path…?” 

You felt your face grow red as you turned away, ashamed that you let yourself think poorly of your Witcher. Ashamed that you thought he would make you wait for him each winter because you had lost your gift, your ability to defend and provide for yourself.

But Eskel’s smile was undeterred. He knew all too well the thoughts that anxiety could produce and instead of being hurt he gently turned your chin to look at him. “I like having you around because you’re amazingly kind, but still don’t mind telling people they’re wrong,” he pressed your fingers to his lips. “And because you’re incredibly smart. You know so much about the plants in our world that you don’t need your powers to heal people…” The sun broke out now, and it felt like it was shining just for you two. “... and because, well-” now it was his turn for pink to flash across his cheeks.

“-Because I love you, Y/n…”

You couldn’t help but positively beam as the words hit your ears. You leaned in and pressed your forehead against his, the light of the sun making his eyes and tunic glow vibrantly. Breaking a hand free from his grasp to tenderly trace down his scarred cheek, your thumb brushing over the notch in his lip as it stretched into his responding smile. 

“I love you too, Eskel… so much.” You spoke quietly with all the tenderness of a winters breath.

He pressed his lips to yours, loving and unrushed as he moved his hands to your waist.

As your lips joined your body flooded with warmth. This was by no means the first time you two had shared a kiss, but it was the words behind it that made your chest feel whole and your fingers tingle with familiar warmth. As you two were joined you heard the tree above you shudder and snow fall heavily around you. And when you both finally pulled away from each other you and Eskel took a glance upward.

And lo and behold, the tree arching its branches above the both of you had shuddered with new life in this bleak winter, little green leaves poking out and catching the snow above you.

Your magic had returned.

______________________________________

tag list: @open--till--midnight @writingmysanity

[undertale-data]

[Image Description: An Undertale chat box that has “WHY FANS LOVE UNDERTALE” at its center. Next to it are a line chart and an Egg from the Dating Hub on its left, and a CRIME measurer (also from the Dating Hub) on its right. End I.D.]

[Image Description: a pie chart titled, “LEVEL OF LOVE FOR UNDERTALE.” The textbox on the top right reads, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least and 10 being the highest, how much do fans enjoy Undertale?” From the top going clockwise, 12 or 0% chose 5 and below; 23 or 1% chose 6; 98, or 4%, chose 7; 325, or 12%, chose 8; 529, or 20%, chose 9; and 1664, or 63%, chose 10. End I.D.]

It’s clear from all of the data analyzed so far that fans who took the time to answer our survey love Undertale. It is unlikely that they would have taken the time to answer so many questions if they had not, and even less likely that they would have come across our survey in the first place. Naturally, it comes as no surprise that 63% of our responders gave their love for Undertale a score of ten out of ten. 95% gave their love for Undertale a score of eight or higher, and only 12 responders responded with five or below, a number so small that their responses had to be lumped together to be visible on the pie chart. Of those, only 3 responders gave their love for Undertale a score of 1, and based on those responders’ other answers, it is likely that they were only intending to troll. We are very fortunate that the vast majority of responders took the survey seriously, enough so that responses like this are barely a blip in the data.

Now, for our final analysis post of the event, we will delve into the reasons that fans love Undertale so dearly.

(Essay and highlights under the cut.)

There have been countless essays on the impact that Undertale has had on people’s lives. I can hardly add more on the subject than what has already been said, but I hope this summary can provide a brief overview of what stood out among the over two thousand answers given in response to this survey. That said, due to the sheer volume of answers, I could not read every single one in depth—however, I did skim all of them, and some that stood out or were representative of several responses have been highlighted below. If you would like to see what every fan who consented to share their response had to say, you may view the full list of responses here. Note that these responses have not been edited in any way. This document may take a long time to load, as it is over 100 pages long.

(Warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts in the following essay.)

Several responders loved the theme of choices mattering in Undertale. Whether people played the pacifist, merciless, or neutral routes, they enjoyed how the game reacted to their actions. For some, it even made them consider their own morality. One touching response explained the impact that the theme of mercy made on them. “I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.” Many fans left similar comments about how the themes of Undertale made them better people.

Undertale changed how its fans treat others, and it also changed how fans treat themselves. The theme of staying determined and the messages of hope in the game were a light to a very large portion of fans. I cannot list all of the fans who said that Undertale helped them out of a dark place, or that they would not be alive if not for Undertale. “DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.”

Undertale brought fans together in unexpected ways. Some said they met friends or significant others through the fandom. “I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale,” one fan said. A different fan who is non-native English speaking mentioned that the game and the fan community helped them to learn English.

It would be impossible to discuss Undertale without mentioning the fan community. Whether for good or bad, many responders mentioned the fandom in their responses. Overall the feelings towards the fandom seem positive, though many made references to “toxic” parts of the fandom without specifying which parts they consider toxic. Others rejected the idea of toxicity in fandom. One response said: “[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!”

One thing that makes the Undertale fandom unique is the way it embraces various AUs. Some fans are tired of AU content, but the majority of responses show a love for the creativity behind AUs. “Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.” The lack of a judgemental atmosphere seems present in the AU community, according to the responses we saw. There is an interesting balance between AU and canon (sometimes referred to as “classic”) content that another responder pointed out: “The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertale fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)”

Regardless of the many AUs the fandom has created over the years, the original game of Undertale still feels like home for many fans. They wished they could reclaim the feeling of playing the game again for the first time, but even though we can’t reset time in real life, there is still a special feeling for fans each time they play Undertale. One fan said, “Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.” This feeling is one that can be cherished time and time again. In the words of another responder: “It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it.” Others pointed out the strength of the found family trope in Undertale, which likely contributes to this feeling of “home” as well.

As mentioned briefly earlier, the music is part of what makes Undertale feel like home for fans. Even when responses focused on other aspects of the game, many would throw in a comment about the soundtrack at the end. One comment focused on the music said “IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.” Like with the game itself, the music has incredible replay value, an amazing feat considering most of the tracks use the same few motifs. “I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story,” another responder said. “They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.”

If the music sticks with fans in their hearts, then the game’s lore sticks with fans in their minds. Even six years after the release of Undertale, fans are still creating new theories and digging up new secrets. The way the game breaks the fourth wall in particular intrigued many fans and has stuck out through all these years. The awareness that the game shows for the RPG genre makes it memorable. The game plays with the player’s expectations and turns them on their heads, all while reminding the player that they’re in a game. There are few other games that do this on such a large scale, so it’s no surprise that fans cite this as one of their favorite things about Undertale.

Lastly, the LGBT+ representation in Undertale has been a huge draw for fans. Especially in 2015, the sheer volume of non-cishet characters was unprecedented, as one fan pointed out: “It's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. Hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. It's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.” The LGBT+ cast including Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Monster Kid, Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne each connected with fans in unique ways. It’s clear how important this is from responses such as: “There are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.” “It made me gay and trans so thanks for that.”

Once again I am overwhelmed with just how much there is to say about Undertale. One responder really understood when they compared Undertale to an iceberg, explaining that there are so many layers to the game that there is something for everyone: “everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans—from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers—is the mark of the coolest games!” I would have to agree with them.

It’s been six years, and despite everything, it’s still you. Thank you for reading, participating in this survey, and above all, staying determined.

Highlights:

DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.

I think the coolest thing was having the opportunity to watch the AU community grow from its bare roots. It's nearly insane how big and complex it's gotten, unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.

i love how the lgbt rep is so naturalized... there are just gay people! and its nobodys business!

The music is my go to answer, but what I really really REALLY love is how the minor characters have so much personality to them when you talk to them. They aren't incredibly important to the overall story, but they're all so likeable and diverse that you just can't help but like them immediately!

I think it was the first videogame I have played that broke the fourth wall that much. Of course there has been other videogames that broke it but just for one or two tongue-in-cheek jokes. The guilt of killing mama goat was also something intense as well that I appreciated as an experience and that I didn't think a videogame could cause on someone.

I love how no character can be seen as completely bad! Everyone builds up Asgore as some horrible villain, but he turns out to be a 'fuzzy pushover' who's broken and just wants his family back by the time you meet him. Then you think Flowey's an irredeemable killer who engineered the suffering of the monsters across many timelines, and he is... but he also used to be the kind and beloved Prince Asriel Dreemurr, traumatized by his death and subsequent rebirth, projecting his best friend onto you.

The fact that choices matter in the game. Your first playthrough and getting the golden ending for the first time. I can never replicate those feelings again, wish I could erase my memories and replay the game from the start.

I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale.

(Toxic parts of the fandom aside) The community is possibly one of the kindest I've ever met. Cringe culture is completely dead, and I feel like I can be myself. I felt a very close connection to many of the characters, and I loved consuming content about them when I was in a rough patch in my life.

just everything, the whole game has just impacted my life so much. i know it sounds really lame, but when the game first came out, i would purposely put my hands in my pockets and sway slightly, like sans' idle animation. of course i dont do that anymore haha, but undertale still really impacts me to this day, and i wouldnt have it any other way :)

it made me gay and trans so thanks for that

I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.

The thing I love most about Undertale is no matter how many times I play or watch a playthrough it always makes me genuinely happy. It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it. Toriel still makes me feel all warm and cozy in her home, the Skelebros always make me laugh, and I still cry on the inside watching Frisk comforting Asriel. And on the flip side the No Mercy run still invokes the negative emotions in me as well. In short Undertale just feels like a second home to me and I always wish I could stay.

The reader inserts are my favorite way to decompress after a hard day

I think Undertale helped me discover my love for 8-bit games, and made me realize how IMPORTANT music is in video games.

the worldbuilding and character design are my favorite parts of the main game apart from the music! I’m also a huge fan of the random AU music- not for like underswap or underfell i like the stuff where someone makes a megalovania for a random au where gru from despicable me replaces sans as the character. i think its funny

Just... the vibe, honestly? Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.

there are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.

[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!

There's a scene where Frisk (the player) is going towards what is presumably going to be their death. They will fight Asgore and he will use their human soul to break the barrier and free his people. The music, despite the player's impending doom, is... triumphant. You are not the triumphant one here, and yet, the score invites you to experience the monsters' joy and happiness as they tell you the tale of their subjugation. The monsters are going to be free. This is their victory, but they don't hate you or want you to die. They're just... happy. That scene has always struck me very deeply. I feel it represents the best parts of Undertale.

I loved how well thought out the Geno route was. It really made me feel like I was doing something horrible, and the characters were very obviously reacting to dire circumstances.

I dunno? I like Undertale for it's characters, story, music, secrets and many more. I am not good with Headcanons but I also like the neutral endings and how different they can depending on who you spare and kill

I was very bad at english before, i thought i couldn't progress because i was very shy and not confident. But my sibling and i wanted to have the best experience with this game so we wanted to play it in english. It's this game and the fandom which helped me to make huge progress in english !

THE SOUNDTRACK. IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.

to avoid writing an essay i will say one word. Mettaton

It is like Toby specifically made the games to fit the iceberg meme and it's awesome, everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans - from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers is the mark of the coolest games!

I love almost everything about Undertale as a game on its own. The music, the art and especially the characters and how they interact. They made me feel at home. Undertale means a huge amount to me. (I even got a tattoo of the castle when you and MK walk together!) The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertake fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)

the mystery. toby fox refused to give answers to anything and i think thats very sexy of him.

I just feel guilty for liking it so much when I'm in my 30's. But I recently got diagnosed with ASD, so I guess it explains things a bit. Many ppl consider Papyrus to be neurodivergent, and some adult fans are too, so seeing that makes me feel a bit better.

i think about "Despite everything, it's still you" everyday of my life.

I like how it's just as funny as it can be serious. All routes are this way. I laughed as much as I cried when I played the Pacifist route and then once I opened the game again and Flowey was telling me to let them be happy, I immediately turned off the game. I somehow felt bad.

The Found Family Trope

The True Pacifist Ending is just...man. And the fanworks about saving everyone even when the game doesn't let you? MANNNNNN

I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story. They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.

there's honestly a LOT to love about this game, but i think one of my favorite things about it is just how many lgbt+ characters there are??? i can think of alphys, undyne, frisk, chara, mettaton, napstablook, monster kid, asgore, mad mew mew, the dress lion, the royal guards, and arguably even papyrus off of the top of my head, but im sure i'm forgetting a few from just undertale alone (there's even MORE in deltarune)!! it's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. it's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.

[Image description: A wordcloud in the shape of the capitalized word UNDERTALE. The text is white on a black background, and uses the font found in the game. Some of the most visible words are: Game, Love, Music, Life, AU, Store, Friend, and Feel, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about their love for the game. End of ID]

[earth-ambassador-jim]

Parent/Mentor Swap AU

The swaps:

Aaarrrgghh – Bular

Blinky – Nomura

Barbara – Strickler

 Yeah so this was meant to just be a short explanation but it’s not so please enjoy my 2500ish word backstory for this AU. (Jim will still be the Trollhunter.)

Bular

Shortly before the Battle of Killahead Bridge Bular is talking with his father about their plans for their future kingdom. In the course of the discussion Gunmar reveals that he wants to eliminate all humans and bring about a literal Eternal Night. (Gunmar has talked about the Eternal Night before but Bular assumed it was a metaphor.)

Bular doesn’t like humans per say. He definitely agrees that their numbers need to be reduced. He certainly wants them to be cast down into the dust and subjected to the rule of trollkind…

But he doesn’t want them gone.

The thought has frankly never occurred to him.

Humans are pests but they are tasty and create useful things. The world will be worse off without them.

The second point is even worse. Bular may be rash at times but he is not a fool. Trolls may not survive under the sun but they won’t survive without it either. Bular has traveled far and wide recruiting trolls for Gunmar’s cause. He’s seen what the Northern Lands become during the winter when for a time the sun ceases to rise.

Based of off that he has a fairly good idea of what the surface will become like under the Eternal Night and it is not desirable. There is no point in taking over the surface only to decimate it.

He tries to argue these points but his father will not listen. Eventually shutting the conversation down entirely with a warning snarl.

Bular is left uneasy. He wonders if it is wise for Gunmar to be the ruler anymore. He wonders if there might be more substance to the rumors of his father’s madness then he thought.

As the War comes to a head and the Battle of Killahead Bridge draws near, Bular tries to convince his father to change his mind. He receives only growls, sneers and a couple beat downs for his trouble.

Eventually he decides that other measures must be taken.

He considers starting an uprising but he doesn’t want to kill his father. Eventually he learns of Deya’s plan to banish Gunmar into the Darklands and decides to assist her. He thinks that spending some time in a world without humans or the sun might bring Gunmar to his senses.

Unfortunately Gunmar learns of this.

Bular, not wanting to fight his father, flees. Gunmar can’t leave to pursue his son, so he sends a detachment of soldiers lead by his most trusted general Aaarrrgghh after him.

Centuries later he comes to Arcadia. He is not accepted by the local troll population for a very long time. They don’t believe he’s really changed sides. It also doesn’t help that unlike Cannon!Aaarrrgghh he is not a pacifist. (He has sworn off eating humans however.) He eventually wins them over by helping the Kanjigar protect Trollmarket. He’s brought into the market for the first time because his energy drops to dangerously low levels (he’s completely catatonic when Kanjigar finds him) because he hasn’t been near a heartstone for centuries and doesn’t eat humans anymore. (I headcannon that eating humans allows for trolls to live away from a heartstone because humans produce a similar energy but in very small amounts).

 Aaarrrgghh

Aaarrrgghh’s origin story is the same as in cannon: he was given to Gunmar by Usurna to be his champion.

In this story he doesn’t switch sides at the battle of Killahead. Seeing the destruction wrought by humans on uninvolved trolls leads him to believe that Gunmar is in the right about wiping them out. When the battle of Kilahead happens, he and his detachment of soldiers become the only Gum Gums outside of the Darklands (or rather the only known Gumm-Gumms) because they were hunting for Bular at the time.

Aaarrrgghh works rather loosely with the changelings as well as doing “recruiting” of more trolls to the Gumm-Gumm cause. (More like threatening into obedience).

Aaarrrgghh comes to Arcadia when he learns of the Trollmarket and Trollhunter’s presence there.

Aaarrrgghh’s presence combined with his small battalion results in more skirmishes with Trollmarket than in cannon. Bular and Draal work with Kanjigar to protect trolls that go out to scavenge against the Gumm-Gumms. The Janus Order has their hands full keeping the constant fighting secret.

Aaarrrgghh generally stays in Barbara’s basement which has a tunnel connecting it to the sewer system. (Disguised with magic so Trollmarket trolls and maintenance workers don’t find it.)

He often leaves the window open and tries to lure cats in for him to eat. This is how he meets Toby.

Toby happens to be looking for one of their missing cats. He finds paw prints leading to the open basement window. He attempts to get in the window but is shoved back by a pole. (Aaarrrgghh has been told repeatedly to not eat the neighbors since this will draw to much scrutiny and they will have to find him a new den if he does.) This distracts him from the cat as he is now more interested in learning about the strange something living in the basement of what he thought was an unoccupied house. He starts asking Aaarrrgghh (who he can’t see) questions about himself and Aaarrrgghh (who isn’t quite sure what to do in this situation) awkwardly responds.

Eventually Toby falls into the habit of visiting Aaarrrgghh’s basement window in the evening and jabbering to him about his day. He brings him little treats and will occasionally ask him questions.

Aaarrrgghh ends up growing fond of him and decides that while he doesn’t like humans in general this one is okay and he starts making plans to keep Toby alive after Gunmar returns.

  Blinky (Bartholomew Georgiou)

Blinky is given as a whelp to the Gum-Gumms by his brother Dictacious (who was working as a spy for Gunmar at the time) and made into a changeling. He’s slightly older than Barbara.

Blinky works at the Arcadia museum. He is in the habit of swapping out old, rare books with exact replicas so he can horde the originals in his secret library.

He has an incredible collection of books from many ages and places. He guards them zealously. Entering his library without permission is suicide and generally ends in the offender being blown to pieces by one of Blinky’s booby traps.

He has very few books of Trollish origin and would do just about anything for more.

 Nomura

Nomura was stolen by the Gumm-Gumm’s when she was a child but her parents survived the initial raid and several decades later they are able to rescue her. Her time with the Gumm-Gumm’s have left its mark, however, and she no longer fit the other trolls in her clan. Her family eventually moves to Dwoza Trollmarket.

She doesn’t really fit in with the younglings her age there either but she makes friends with the archivist. He eventually takes her on as his apprentice and when he passes she takes over as the Trollmarket librarian. She takes her job very seriously and does not tolerate loss or abuse of books.

She becomes friends with Draal (due to having similar temperaments) and later she becomes the first troll to truly accept Bular in the Arcadia Trollmarket.

 Barbara

Barbara is a 700(ish) year old changeling (equivalent of 40-50 human years) and the head of the Janus Order. She’s still a doctor and has the most knowledge of how troll and human bodies work of any one person on the planet. This is partially due to how long she’s been alive but also to the large number of often highly unethical experiments she’s carried out on both species.

Barbara meets James Sturges when she’s working on retrieving a piece of the Killahead Bridge in Maine (officially she’s just a nurse at the hospital named Janet). They hit it off and start dating. Barbara finds his expectations for how she’s supposed to act a little annoying but it suits the role she’s currently playing so she goes along with them.

Then James makes the mistake of breaking one of Barbara’s rules and goes through some of her off-limits stuff, so she kills him and disposes of the body.

She assumes that’s the end of that but about 4 months later when she tries to shift into troll form she can’t. Aside from a curse, there is one thing that will prevent a changeling from shifting back into a troll. A trip to the local pharmacy confirms it: she’s pregnant.

This is certainly a dilemma.

Until she’s done with the pregnancy (one way or another) she’s trapped in her human form.

In the past she would have had an abortion without a second thought, but with Gunmar’s release and the destruction of the human race drawing closer and closer this will probably be her last real opportunity to experience pregnancy. So out of pure scientific curiosity she decides to go through with it.

Quite a few arrangements have to be made but soon she’s on her way to her hidden cabin out in a remote area of Alaska.

The pregnancy and birth go well and soon she is the mother to a little boy. She names him James after his father, figuring that will keep her from getting attached. She plans to keep him for two or three years to observe his growth and see if any changeling traits manifest after which point she’ll drop him off at an orphanage or something. As far as the Janus Order can tell human-changeling unions produce completely human children, but one can never beat first hand observation and experience.

She initially chalks up the warm and mushy feelings she’s getting to hormones. It isn’t until Jim is about two and a half that she’s tucking him into bed one night and Jim gives her a sleepy smile and leans into her hand that she realizes that she really truly loves him.

This was not in the plan.

After Jim is asleep, Barbara calmly goes outside and devotes an hour to cursing. (One of the perks of living centuries is that she’s had ample opportunity to amass an extensive collection of swear words.) After that she feels a lot calmer and more ready to look at the situation in a rational manner.

The fact of the matter is that she genuinely cares about Jim. She’s developed feelings for people in the past but it’s always been something she’s been able to pass off as part of her cover. (She still misses her pirate crew sometimes). Jim however is not. Barbara has a lot of enemies. If Jim’s relationship to Barbara is discovered he will never know peace and if Barbara keeps Jim around it will be discovered.

So it’s with a strangely heavy heart that Barbara realizes that this changes nothing: the best thing for Jim is for her to give him up.

On his third birthday she gives him some tea that will make sure he stays soundly asleep. Barbara can’t go through the legal process of giving up a child because: A. Jim does not exist in any legal manner and B. As changelings are everywhere and Barbara is well known (infamous really) there is a very real possibility that someone would find out. So she leaves him on the doorstep of a foster family she has carefully vetted out as responsible and trustworthy and keeps watch from some hidden cameras until she knows he has been found and is going to be taken care of. With him are a note with his date of birth and first name and a necklace with a pendant carved from Barbara’s own stone (Barbara isn’t very good at magic but she was able to enchant it with a simple protection and luck spell.).

Once she’s satisfied that Jim will be cared for she goes on her way and forces herself to not look back.

Nine years later she moves to Arcadia and three years after that she is very shocked to find a found add describing the Amulet of Daylight of all things. She calls the number but is told that the amulet was already claimed. Further investigation reveals that the amulet has chosen its first human bearer (or so everyone thinks). Barbara feels a bit of a twinge in her heart when she learns that the new Trollhunter is about the same age her son would be and that his name is Jim but doesn’t think too much of it. There are a lot of Jims in the world after all and she left hers in Alaska.

She immediately arranges a very minor “accident” as an excuse to make contact with his father in order to keep an eye on him.

 Walter

Walter Strickler is a history teacher at University of Alaska Anchorage. He enjoys his life and his job but there’s one thing lacking: he’s always wanted a child.

He’s had a few relationships over the years but none have ever stuck. He’s also of the opinion that he shouldn’t go into a relationship specifically with the end goal of having a kid.

He weighs his options and decides that he’s financially very stable at the moment. His work hours are consistent and he can afford to cut back a little; especially since his stock investments have been doing well in the recent years. All things considered: he decides he’s in a place that he can be a single parent.

He begins looking into adoption.

Eventually he finds Jim. As Jim has no parents or relations on record, the adoption is relatively simple.

Jim is very shy at first (having spent his life so far out in the woods with only his Mom for company). Eventually he warms up to Walter and then becomes very clingy. Living with only one other person for his early years and then being left behind has left Jim with some attachment issues.

Walter ends up taking him to his classes where he sits in the back and doodles while Walter lectures. He’s a rather quiet kid (most of the time) so this works out well. Walter’s students adopt him as the class mascot.

When Jim is five, right before he’s ready to start Kindergarten, Walter’s mom falls ill. Walter is an only child, so after some debate he ends up moving back to his hometown of Arcadia, California to care for her.

He meets Nancy Domzalski through the chest club and through her Jim meets Toby. The two boys become fast friends.

When Walter’s mother passes away four years later, he decides to stay in Arcadia. Jim is well settled and Walter enjoys his job teaching history at Arcadia High School.

Things are going well.

Then his son finds a strange blue amulet in the canal. It looks fairly expensive so Walter puts a found add up and assumes the owner will give him a call. Then settles down to work on grading papers.

He is definitely not prepared when his son, sitting across the table from him, reads an incantation off the amulet and starts floating.

He is even less prepared when a large stony monster the size of a large grizzly barges into their house.

Bular attempts to explain the situation to the father-son duo but they both faint from terror.

Not quite sure what else to do he wraps them up in a tarp and takes them to Trollmarket. He figures Vendal can sort it out.

[arcane-nari]

why are you trying to make nari evil she's the only good one in the arcane order?

(re: this post I’m assuming)

sorry anon you've unlocked my trap card. now i can draw infodumping from my hand and place it face up on the board

tl;dr: Nari isn't evil -- but neither is the arcane order. It's just that nari is the only one of the three who isn't okay with the suffering that would be caused by doing her job of maintaining the balance.

from what i can tell, the order's morality isn't Good or Evil in Tales of Arcadia: Wizards. (I do not see Rise of the Titans. I am not looking.) i've had this blog since wizards first came out, so my interpretation of nari is largely from there, with only some points here and there taken from Nari.

(aside: i feel so vindicated with how she acted in the police station. this bug is feral and i love her)

they're antagonists for sure, and they're rivals, but their morality isn't good. Instead, it's sort of more focussed on the good of the balance between magic and mortals and keeping that in check. there isn't much explanation as to what that means in canon, but I think it's sort of a chaos vs order thing -- too much of one and the world explodes. too much of the other and it's rendered inert.

before the battle of killahead, while each demigod has their own personality, they seem to be of the same mind when it comes to the end goal: protect the balance, no matter how many mortals get hurt along the way. (Mortals, in this case, meaning anyone who is not a primordial wizard.) It's a matter of good of the many (the balance) vs the goods of the few or the one (mortals).

Coupled with their duty to the balance, i have the interpretation that they're simply too disconnected from the world of mortals to understand what pain is -- skrael and bellroc moreso than nari, which i'll get to in a minute. But they're so powerful and ancient that it's easy for them to feel Apart from the mortals, because of how short their lives are and how small their magic is in comparison. Kind of like how most humans view squirrels -- they're creatures living their own lives and having their own drama, but, ultimately, we are far more advanced.

to continue the metaphor -- the world at the time of killahead is something along the lines of a tree that's overgrown the sidewalk and is causing problems, in my mind. Yes, squirrels have made their home in it, but it's causing too much trouble to the humans living in the area, so it has to be cut down. It's not done to cause direct harm to the squirrels. it's just that the action of cutting down the tree will cause direct or indirect harm to the squirrels.

(I've used this metaphor way too often with the order lol)

So they aren't remaking the world because they hate humans specifically. Most definitions of evil is someone who wants explicitly to do other's harm. In my mind, the order doesn't want explicitly to do people harm. They don't care about people. Well -- they don't like them, and perhaps they aren't happy about the amount of people who will die when they remake the world, but it's certainly more than justifiable in their mind considering the ends they're pursuing.

And that takes me to pain. Nari explicitly says she can sense all souls, but it's not clear whether she can sense their pain and suffering. Rather, she seems to be right on board with the order's methods all the way up until she sees Killahead directly. Once she sees the pain -- once it becomes real for her -- she can't dismiss it as a necessary evil that comes with keeping the balance in line. She can't depersonalize it or separate herself from it.

Sure, she's able to occasionally Look into the aether and see souls winking out here and there due to the destruction being caused, but it's different from seeing it up close. And she realizes what they're doing has real and tangible effects and she can't do her duty anymore. It's not that remaking the world is wrong. It's not that the demigods are misguided.

"It's not worth it."

Those are nari's words when she realizes what they've done. The cost is too high. They can't move forward.

I think, were this turned around and the order were to be shown as the protagonists, nari would be written to be a coward. It's all about doing your duty until you face the consequences of your actions, and you can't keep your word. Instead of trying to stop things, she runs. She hides. for nine centuries, she spends her life hidden in a castle away from the world.

We don't see what she does, but I think she learns. I think she asks questions and learns how people work, and how trolls work. I think, once she has the chance to be up close and personal to living people -- even if it's just galahad for the majority of the time -- she falls in love with them. it's hard not to. The way they change and grow and create. The idea of constellations is as much a wonder to her now as it had been the first time she heard about it.

And her desire to protect mortals grow with it. The more she learns, the more her heart becomes entangled with the very world she once wanted to remake. To hell with her orders and her duty -- she's doing what she thinks is right.

By hiding. By doing nothing. We see in Rott that it's probably the only thing for it, considering mind control, but i'm iffy on whether that's something that's canon for me or not. It feels a bit too convenient, considering we've seen such massive power on her end.

She's ancient, but she learns in a few short years what it means to have friends. Her love for humanity is what separates her from the order but, on an objective level, that doesn't make her good, or even Not Evil. Ultimately, it's a human thing to label her as good because her intentions align with protecting us, rather than protecting this vague, enigmatic concept of The Balance that we get so little understanding about. Maybe if we as an audience got more, we would understand why it mattered enough to destroy the entire world to repair it, but we don't, so it's easier to side with the tangible "protect humans at all costs" goal over the intangible "repair the balance at all costs" goal

And the order cares about each other. The way nari teases bellroc and skrael, the way bellroc snaps at skrael -- it feels like a band of siblings. It feels like a family. There's more to them than evil. (And rott did a disservice by trying to make them such. Even at the end, bellroc showed empathy. They could have killed jim when they were certain of their victory, but they told him to go to his family. There's a heart in there, however much it may be of blackened stone.)

(But that's another story entirely.)

There's stories about the fair folk that come to mind, with their strange morals and rules. A lot of stories paint these fairies as evil because their punishments seemed harsher than what humans would expect for certain infractions, while their games often included things that hurt humans. But it's not because they wanted to hurt humans directly. (Okay, a lot of them did, but many of them didn't). It's that what they consider good and bad is so far removed from humanity, because they are not and have never been human. They're simply existing alongside them in the same world.

In conclusion, the order isn't evil. But because their goals don't include the welfare of humans, it's easy to label them as such - and because nari's goals ultimately were protecting humanity, it's easy to label her as good. But the order themselves are too far removed from humanity for me, personally, to label them in terms of explicit morals.

Nari is kind. She is clever, and she's capable of learning, and she's curious. She is herself -- but if we call her good, that's on us, whatever comes of it. She may be capable of change, but she is only ever herself, whatever shape that takes

also veggie lady good character and i love her. grey morality and all.

[mitamicah]

Spoilers from both Trollhunters the book and Trollhunters the series!

While reading the book I was really impressed with how many differences there were between the character so I have worked on giving my take on six characters from both media, book vs series, and how they differ from each other :3 

I should mention that while there was illustrations in the book I tried for the challenge not to copy those but follow along the describtions in the book - when possible - to give my own interpretation of the characters ^v^ 

Steve

First up we have Steve. Starting out as the stereotypical bully in both version their paths seperates quickly resulting in two different ending for the musuclar blond Jorgensen-Warner is the book version of Steve. Here's how he is described from our first encounter with him: "He was handsome but in the oddest way- He eyes were too small and his nose piggish: he had a ridiculous amount of hair and a couple of teeth that looked like fangs. Yet somehow in combination these features were sort of mesmerising. His unnatural muscular bulk and odd way of speaking -crisply, politely, as if he were a foreign student who had learned English in class - completed the strange package." page 21-22 For his outfit I went with the description of him on page 224 "[my clothes] ... didn't cast me in the best light when compared to Steve Jorgensen-Warner, who looked rather rakish in blue jeans and a shirt - definitely not a blouse - opened to the third button. He dribbled the ball casually with his left hand." The bold passages is added by me   This Steve is later revealed to be a changeling aka a troll   Before we go on: can any of you explain to me what a "ridiculous amount of hair" even means :'D? I had a lot of trouble with this prompt because isn't this so darn subjective :'D? and the official art look way less ridiculous than I'd figure it'll be :'D x'D Palchuk is the series version of Steve. His facial appearance being way less specific (I'd say he has normal sized eyes, a big roman nose and some more or less normal teeth) and his way of speaking is definitely not polite. Like book Steve, this Steve starts out with pushing smaller guys into lockerrooms yet after that he becomes way less of a terrifying bully and much more of a silly goose who brings a lot of the comic relief in my opinion Douxie says it best in Wizards when he calls Steve the "village idiot" x'D I do not recall seeing Steve being that sporty in the show, he is much more interested in becoming homecoming king  no basketballs around x'D While book Steve is revealed to be the enemy (a troll) series Steve joins the "good guys" creating the creepslayerz with the character Eli Pepperjack

Blinky

Blinky is just called Blinky in the book  Here's a bit of description of him "The third [troll] had scarlet eyes, eight of them on long stems. (...) The thing from my house glided toward me with a surprising grace for something with an indetermined number of legs, all of which were hidden behind a patched kilt scaled with layers of medals, prizes and trophies and award ribbons. An incalculable tangle of tentacles twined around one another as if dying to squeese something to death. As it passed the oven, the firelight revealed olive-green skin, reptilian texture, and lacquer of slime lubricating its undulating appendages Its moth a horizontal gash.. " The bold passages is added by me   So yeah this Blinky is quite something :'D I stopped caring to draw tentacles after a while but overall this was silly but fun to draw  since his teeth later is described as big as traffic cones I believe he must be very tall :'D Also he's close to blind   Has a bit of a dirty mouth but in a very "read" way if it makes sense :'D cannot seem to stop calling Jim dimwitted and tiny and Tobias big :'D Blinky's full name in the series is Blinkus Galadrigal  he has six eyes instead of eight and they are all working just fine, thank you very much x'D His tons of tentacles and legs has been replaced by four arms and two legs and while he is still olive-green he is now made of tone like texture just like the other trolls  the kilt turned into shorts and he is quite a bit smaller now not even as tall as Jim  He still has this very academic way of speaking yet he is way nicer to Jim calling him "Master Jim" instead of "the short one" x'D

ARRRGH!!!

Book ARRGHHH!!!s full name is Johannah Mmmm ARRRGH!!! and she is a pretty big deal warrior among the trolls in the book - she's so badass in fact Blinky has decided to call her by her last name to honor her for her deeds for trollkind   Here's a qoute from the book describing her appearance   "The goliath emerged from the tunnel as comfortably as a dog from a doghouse, coarse black fur pouring into the chamber before I could make out any actual arms or legs (...) Even beneath the fur I could see loops of muscles flexing. (...) ARRRGH!!! was built like a gorilla but three times larger: Two arms, two legs, and, thankfully, just two eyes. Horns, curled like those of a ram (...) The thing's orange eyes cast about with animal perceptiveness, and it used its snout and sniffed. Its jaws fell open to reveal a purple, slavering mouth armed with haphazard daggers of teeth." Page 75-76 The bold passages is added by me   (Also worth mentioning: the qoute is from before the protagonist knows of ARRRGH!!!'s gender which is why he calls her an 'it') At other times in the story we learn that ARRRGH! has quite scarred arms and really wishes for better tooth hygeine; so much so that Tobias actually end up making her a brace out of chicken wire :'D Idk I find it quite adorable :'D Now unto the serie's ARRRGH!!! - first up he is male, his name is Arghaumont and he is famous for another reason than Johannah: he was a general of Gunmar but retreated from the war making him a traitor to his people yet a hero for the good trolls in the series. Series ARRRGH!!! is likewise built like a gorilla but made of stone and having a mane long and green like it is moss  his horns is way smaller and less curvy and his teeth hygeine is never brought up  also his face is way less dog like x'D 

Tobias 

Book Tobias' full name is Tobias M. Dershowitz yet he is going by 'Tubby' or 'Tub'. Here is a describtion of him from the book: "You could call Tobias Dershowitz chubby, if you were being cute, or husky if you were being diplomatic. The fact is he was fat, and that was only the beginning of his problems. His hair was a thick, orange, out-of-control hedge. His face spilled over with the kind of freckles that make kids like Tub look like overgrown toddlers. Worst of all were his braces, marvels of modern torment: whips of stainless steel crisscrossing each tooth seperately and lashed to a dozen silver fasteners. The braces clicked so much when he spoke, you expected sparks. At least he was tall..." page 27 The bold passages is added by me   The outfit I went with is described on page 259 like this: "He stood in the driveway decked out in his best approximation of a ninja: black tennis shoes, black sweatpants, a black hoodie, a belt made from a red curtain sash, and an oversize fanny pack holding his gear (...) It was unfortunate that the fanny pack was lime green..." To describe Tub is a bit difficult because sadly he is not much in the story as I'd liked - mostly he is being quite serious and let us know he is not happy by being sidelined not speaking troll nor being invited on hunts which I completely understand tbh :'D What I do find interesting is how Tub and series Jim has seem to have switched roles a little bit: In the series Jim is the one giving a speech about how he is insecure about his place in life and how he wants more - in the book this is Tub in more than one occassion: "We have to accept who we are. And before you ask, I'll tell you. We're nobody. We have no life. We have nothing to look forward to. We're not special. I just want it to go away. All of it. The stupid being scared. Doesn't it seem we've been scared forever?" page 37 "Jim, you're wrong. We were meant to do this. This is exactly what we've been waiting for. They've chosen us. Of all people! Us! (...) Jesus, Jim, take a look at my life! You know what I'm worth! To anyone? Zero! Nothing! I'm a fat loser and will always be a fat loser. Until this. This is like a present. Full of, man, I don't know. Hope?..." page 196 (talking about trollhunting here btw) Oh yeah and book Tobias gets this badass scene where he uses his dentist's tool to kill trolls I loved that   Now series Tobias is way different :'D first up his name is Tobias Domzalski and his nicknames are Toby and Tobes. He is way shorter and has more neat hair (what is it with the series neating up the hair :'D? x'D). He also seems way cheerier and pretty happy with his place in life more or less  Unlike Tub, Toby is in it from the start being an important player in the story   He doesn't have the same drive to be something more than he is as Tub has instead Toby is going with the flow starting out quite afraid of everything troll and ended up being as brave as the rest of the team *tbh Jim's scared out of his wits too so they mimic each other x'D* Where Tub has dentist tools Toby gets a badass hammer so I'll say its an upgrade  

Claire

First off we have Claire Fontaine, a foreign student from no other than Scotland with a taste for military clothing and liqourice   Here's how she's described in the book   "She tucked her long dark hair behind her ear and left ir with an adorable smudge of white dust. I thought she was beautiful, though she wasn't in the classic sense. The popular girl would say she wasn't skinny enough. They would also point to the fact that she didn't wear makeup or do anything to tame that hair. And her clothes -well, what could be said about her clothes? Her boots were not sexy and knee-high: in fact, they were ankle-high and rubber-soled and looked picked from military surplus racks, an array of pea-green coats and multi-coloured slacks, all of which looked as if they'd been through actual World War II combat. And that beret she wore before and after school wasn't of the look-at-me-I'm Frensh variety: it was more in the style of I'm-going-to-invade-your-country-and-be-your-new-dictator. Only one thing didn't make sense: that bright pink, exceedingly girlish backpack that inexplicably hadn't one anti-establidh patch sewn onto it (...) Oh, I forgot to mention that Claire Fontain came from the UK. That's right- the girl had an accent. I think you are starting to get the picture." page 30-1 The bold passages is added by me It is hinted at that Claire is quite tall and a great deal taller than Jim (more when I get to him) and she is actually a whole year older than Jim since they both have birthday May 2 but Claire is 16 while Jim is 15  Since Trollhunters in this story is not a "protected title" (aka the chosen hero type) Claire ends up being one herself even though nobody even herself didn't know: AND. SHE. KICKS. BUTT! She's even better than the guy that had 40+ years experience so yeah safe to say she's badass :'D Even before that she has a hilarious scene calling out Steve in the wildest shitstorm of Scottish slang I lived for it x'D She's described quite a few times with lots of bracelets, sometimes made of wire so I gave her a bit of both   She's not really a part of the popular group but has her own thing going on   Now onto Claire Nuñez the series' version of this badass   Here Claire is hispanic and pretty much one of the most popular girls seen around  her style is way more ... I've called it punk rock in purple but Idk exactly what to call it x'D she's shorter than Jim and slimmer looking than her book counterpart   She enters the story not as a trollhunter but as a victim of having her brother stolen by changelings and as time progresses she becomes a fastlearning and quite competent sorcerer dealing in shadow magic   Unlike Fontaine, Nuñes is seen wearing make up, shorter hair with dye in it and hair clips instead of bracelets  

Jim 

First up we have book Jim. His full name is James Sturges Jr. and lives with his single parent, his dad, after his mother went away the day before his birthday in start May and never returned. Sturges Sr. had been traumatized loosing his brother to trolls although none of the characters didn't know this yet - only Senior had seen the creatures making him paranoid and in turn making Jim very embarrased about his father. At the same time Jim seems to honestly worry for his father and his behavior too makes Jim very cautious and fearful a character. Book Jim is pretty much a typical teenager for the most part  He is seen to be a tad clumsy and not exactly brave really. And the author's choice of basically not describing him anywhere made my job way harder trying to be book accurate :'D So I've mostly inspired him of the official illustrations in the book   Here's what I could find about our little trollhunter   First off: he's a short fellow  that is first mentioned on page 14; "Sunshine is important for growing boys." (...) "I am not growing" I took after my dad when it came to size and was still waiting for that growth spurt everyone kept raving about. "In fact I think I'm shrinking." This is brought up most of everything Jim through the movie from him not being able to reach a point of a chalkboard (page 32) to people's dissapointing sighs taking meassurements when he is chosen as Romeo (107) and him wearing super high heels for the same reason (224) but also Blinky directly calling him a "little fellow" (page 127) On page 27 we learn that he is getting a bruise on his chin after being slammed into his locker by Steve  Lockers he has been thrown into enough to have learned to open them on the inside :'D He is a skinny fella which Tobias so politely call "lack of muscletone" due to "glandular" at page 120 He is not very good at anything describing his room full of stuff from hobbies he tried and failed at (page 63) The longest describtion about his appearance is probably page 105: "I lowered my eyes and regarded the chewed, dirty fingernails holding my script, thes scuffed shoes on my feet, and realized that these were the symbols of my pityful life: worn-out, insignificant, ready to be thrown beneath Dad's industrial mower" It pretty much says it all when this is the longest quite I could find :'D For the outfit I mostly went by the small describtion on page 89-90: "I tucked the medallion beneath my shirt. After a full day of wearing it, maybe the rest of the suffocating fear would go away too. My plan was to dart into the kitchen, grab my sweatshirt and be out of the house. " I added jeans since he is said to wear jeans on page 283 - the medallion sneak out beneath the sweatshirt/shirt on page 97 which is why I added it on top here as well   Now since there's a bit more to both versions of Jim due to their role as the protagonist I've added in a little extra features here being the medallion in the book vs the amulet in the series and the weaponry given to the characters   For Sturges we have the medallion who's described like this: "It was a bronze medallion conntected to a rusty chain. It was engraved with a foreboding crest: a hideous, snarling face; indecipherable markings of a sevage language, and a magnificent long-sword across the bottom." page 9 The medallion is treated like it is a common artefact if a bit rare in the book - its purpose is to translate trollspeak for the wearer. Jim is giving two swords in the book; a rusty longsword he calls Clairesword (do I need to explain this one?) and a cutlass he calls Cat #6 after the one cat at Tobias' house that liked Jim  x'D For Sturges' personality my feeling about him is that he is a bit more ... passive than his series counterpart. He is not really standing up for himself that much and would rather blend into the background. This qoute from Claire sums him up pretty nicely I believe   "You're a good person, Mr. Sturges. A bit gloomy, but good" page 246 I do like that Jim in this version is a Taurus  (I am a taurus too x'D) born on May 2nd so that's a plus   It is probably also worth mentioning that in this world trollhunters aren't a chosen hero type like in the series: trollhunters or paladin was once a title held by many warriors yet now there's very few left. Sturges was a proud paladin family making Jim a chosen candidate for the honor of becoming a trollhunter but he is not the only one - or even the best - in the book. In fact out of the three trollhunters we learn about I'll say Jim is the weakest (and he is not even the least trained; ouch :'D) Jim doesn't get a nice armour like his series counterpart either but is seen in the illustrations wearing a blue hoodie (like the one in the little doodle)   The full name of Jim in the series is James Lake Jr. He is the child of a single parent and lives with his mother whom Jim "mothers a lot" (Tobias' words in the first episode) This Jim is pretty "tall for his age" (Jim's own words uttered quite a few times across all three series) yet with quite skinny legs (he is called out for this by multiple characters). He is much more competent in life than his book counterpart being an exceptional cook, good at Spanish, seemingly alright in PE and at school he seems to stand pretty good if only holding himself back. Unlike book Jim, series Jim seems much more active and longing to be something more than he is - he is seen to be quite brave and protective of his friends, very kind and selfless. Also even from the start he seems much more nimble than his book counterpart being able to climb the robe (a feat book Jim didn't do before later) and with his training as trollhunter he becomes even more badass   Trollhunter status in the series is way more important since the title is given to only one chosen warrior of Merlin chosen by the amulet of daylight (the medallion in the book). This also makes the amulet way more special and important in the series which probably explains its shine up from rusty bronze thing to silver and blue. While Lake Jr doesn't have named sword he does have a magical armour and sword made of daylight   We do not know the exact birthday of Lake Jr but the creators have replied to a fanquestion saying it would be around fall especially October so by that estimate Jim is probably a scorpio  pretty far from the before mentioned taurus in the book   While Jim Lake Jr isn't seen with long lasting bruises in the original series he does get two more permanent scars in Wizards  

[eyayah-oya]

At First Sight

It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these blurbs, and I really liked this one. It’s got some OCs of mine that I created to be Wooley’s batchmates. More information on them can be found below the cut

Wooley groaned as the Corrie tugged his arms behind him and pulled out a set of binders. He wasn't even drunk or involved this time. He just happened to be nearby when Crys set off a bunch of glitter bombs (Wooley was pretty sure he got them from Torrent) and of course the Corrie assumed he was a part of it. Or just wanted the bragging rights among their batchmates that he got to throw Wooley into the drunk tank.

"Corin, you are a slimy bastard," he groaned. "I didn't do anything."

"Hmm, that's what you say. But you see, you Ghosts rarely do stuff by yourself. Therefore, that kid Jek is arresting had an accomplice. The closest Ghost was you," Corin said smugly.

Wooley sighed.

"I actually hate you right now."

"Don't stay things you don't mean, Wooley dearest," Corin sang.

"Ratio is my favorite now."

"Blasphemy! I have always been your favorite batchmate," Corin protested.

"Ratio isn’t currently arresting me for something I didn't do and didn't know anything about."

"If you want to lie, you need to get better at hiding your tells."

"I've been working on that," another vod's voice called. Wooley sighed. He knew that voice very well. And of course Lovely just had to happen by.

Corin closed the binders on his wrists and turned Wooley towards the Guard speeder where Lovely was leaning against the side.

And then they stopped.

Wooley glanced behind and couldn't help but grin. Oh. Oh that was delightful blackmail material.

Corin stood there, his bucket clipped to his belt so his curly blue hair went in every direction as it attempted to escape its ponytail. And he stood, absolutely dumbstruck, and stared at Lovely. His brother, the most flirtatious of the lot of them, was stunned silent by a pretty face.

Discreetly, Wooley swiped the keys off of Corin's belt and walked towards the speeder, Corin's hand sliding off of his back. He fiddled with the binders for a moment and then slipped them off and tossed them into the Guard speeder. He put his bucket back on and immediately took several holos of Corin's face.

"Is there a problem?" Lovely asked, walking towards Corin as he waved Wooley away behind his back.

"Puh uh problem? No, there's no problem," Corin stammered. "I'm Corin."

"Nice to meet you, Corin," Lovely answered. "I'm Lovely."

"You definitely are."

Wooley almost gave his escape away with a snort as he listened to his normally suave brother blunder through an introduction. He couldn't wait to show this to Mal and Ama. They would absolutely never let Corin live this down. Cyan would get a kick out of it, too.

As Wooley hopped into a speeder heading to the GAR barracks, specifically for the clones, he sent the holo to the Crimson groupchat.

<Wooley: Look at him. He saw one of my squaddies and made this face!>

<Ama: NO WAY!!! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!!>

<Ratio: Ha! Thank you Wooley. I am definitely saving that to get back at him for the prank he pulled last week.>

<Mal: That was Ama. But it's about time Corin got a taste of his own medicine.>

<Cyan: Lovely is really nice. Corin at least has good taste. If Lovely falls for him, though, I'm gonna have to question his taste.>

<Corin: WOOLEY YOU SON OF A BANTHA WHORE!!!>

Wooley just cackled.

Wooley’s Batch (AKA Crimson Batch)

Mal: The Oldest TM. He is gentle and kind and gives the absolute best hugs. He’s the kind of person you go to for a nice long cuddle with ice cream, blanket forts, and a movie to feel better after a bad day. He’s also got great advice. He was one of the five members of Crimson Batch that were sent to Coruscant as part of the Coruscant Guard.

Kye: He can be a bit of a grump. He is also the easiest to get with a prank, which the others do quite frequently. Kye also has the most infectious laugh, if you can get him to let loose. He’s also a Coruscant Guard.

Ratio: Ratio is happiest if he has a fully-charged datapad, a hot cup of caf, and a vod’ika curled up against him (usually Ama). Force save anyone who brings him a problem to solve before he’s had his morning caf, though. He likes to tease and joke around and holds trivia nights, which can range from fun little quizzes, to him info-dumping with his batchmates. He is also a Coruscant Guard.

Corin: Corin is a notorious flirt. He will flirt with anyone that he can get away with. Charming to the extreme and with a fun sense of humor to boot, he is very popular both within the Guard and with any Battalions on leave. He is also a massive troll. Wooley and Corin were really close before they were deployed and Wooley learned how to flirt from Corin. He fell head over heels for Lovely the very first time he saw him, and spent the rest of the war trying to come up with ways to woo Lovely. (Lovely is demi, so it took a bit of time and a lot of patience, but he was wooed.) Corin is a member of the Coruscant Guard.

Talla: He is very protective. He was one of the batchmates that was assigned to Commander Rill’s Company (also an oc of mine) along with Wooley, Cyan, Kita, and Maie. When they were captured by Separatists, Talla was sold to Trandoshans along with Kita and Maie. He protected them and they managed to survive until they were later rescued (this is soft! I couldn’t kill them. I just couldn’t). He’s fairly paranoid and warms up to strangers very slowly and rarely goes anywhere without his armor and several weapons.

Cyan: Cyan was rescued by the 212th along with Wooley (and Lovely and a few others, but I’m not focusing on them now). He’s really reserved and quiet, but will absolutely swear like a sailor with the people he’s closest to. He becomes really close with Miggs (a fellow trooper in the 212th) and they eventually say the riduurok after Miggs lost his leg on Umbara. They will eventually adopt a squad of cadets and raise them together.

Kita: Kita is pretty friendly and adapts well to being around other people. At least better than Talla. He was also rescued with Talla and Maie. He likes making friends and is definitely nowhere near as paranoid as Talla.

Maie: Maie is considered “Babey TM”. He’s got the Sad Tooka Eyes (which Wooley learned from him and used to great effect on the 212th). He is a little quiet and tends to stick close with the people he knows the best but is also interested in making new friends. He really wants to open a ranch or farm and just spend time out in nature when he doesn’t have to worry about being hunted.

And finally . . . 

Ama: Ama is the Youngest TM. Always. He loves practical jokes and making people laugh. He has probably perfected several comedy routines at this point and performs them every time he’s at 79′s with a new Company on leave. Loves sitting with Ratio and they like planning pranks together. Kye is their usual victim, but they also target the others as well. He was also sent to Coruscant as a Coruscant Guard.

Let me know if you want to learn any more about these guys! (I have done piccrew with them because I can’t draw) I love them a lot. If you made it all the way this far! Congratulations and thank you so much!! Crimson Batch will appear in my Long Fic (whenever I have time to actually write it).

ALSO!! FYI, Wooley falls between Kita and Maie, age-wise. He’s not the Youngest, but he is one of the youngest.

[melanielocke]

Conceal, don't Feel - One

Do you wanna build a snowman?

This is the first chapter of my Frozen Carstairs sibings AU

CW: abuse, toxic relationship, alcoholism

@alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 and I both came up with a similar idea separately from each other, so this is a story separate from hers, but if you like this one I recommend you check out Frozen Heart. I’m not yet sure how often I will update, but I’m currently working on chapter 7 and 35.000 words in (chapters are pretty long).

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @alastair-appreciation-month @writeordie-4 @amchara

I cannot seem to tag @lightwoodsimp, sorry

Alastair didn’t know where his parents were taking him. It didn’t matter. He would go anywhere, would do anything if it meant she could be saved. It was his fault she’d gotten hurt. He called out to her. Warned her.

‘You’re going too fast. Slow down, Layla!’

It had been too late. Cordelia was hurt. His fault. He’d hurt her, he’d hit her with his ice. His father had been furious, of course. He’d deserved that. His mother had been more gentle, had taken him into her arms and whispered that it was going to be okay. A lie. It wasn’t going to be okay because he’d hurt his sister and that made him a monster. Just like Father had been afraid of.

But Father knew where to go. Father knew how to fix this. A trail of ice followed their horses. Alastair barely noticed it anymore. It would draw attention. It pointed right to him, to his wrongness. Just like he deserved. Alastair didn’t know why he couldn’t control it anymore. He’d been too excited about it, had used it to play and have fun and build snowmen in the middle of the summer. But that was wrong. Ice was wrong and shameful and dangerous. And so was he.

They stopped in a small village hidden at the foot of the North mountain. Alastair had studied the geography of the kingdom many times but did not know there was a village here. He’d heard stories, there were trolls living here. That was why people avoided this place. Alastair would say he was too old to believe in trolls, but he was magic. Who knew what else was out there?

He descended from the horse, hiding behind his mother. He’d always been closer to her than to Father. He trusted her to keep him safe. Not that he deserved her protection.

A man approached. He was a little shorter than Father, with dark hair like Alastair’s, but blue eyes and light skin that was common in Arendelle. Alastair had never seen the man before, who was he? Certainly not a troll. There was a girl around Cordelia’s age behind him, stepping forward curiously to his sister. Cordelia had not woken since Alastair had hurt her.

‘Hello,’ the little girl said. ‘My name is Lucie, who are you?’

‘Lu, I don’t think the princess can hear you right now,’ her father said. ‘Don’t worry, your Majesty, I’ll get my wife. She’ll find out what’s wrong with your daughter.’

The man disappeared into one of the houses, but the little girl remained behind, poking at Cordelia.

‘She’s not going to wake up,’ Alastair said quietly.

His father glared at him, whereas his mother took his hand firmly. ‘Don’t say that, joon-am. Your sister will be fine.’

‘Who are you?’ Lucie asked him.

Alastair frowned. This was part of Arendelle, wasn’t it? How did someone not recognize the king and his family?

‘My name is Alastair,’ he said softly, not meeting the little girl’s gaze.

‘Come, Lu,’ Will said. ‘Tessa and Jem are going to take care of the princess.’

A woman with brown hair kneeled down in front of little Cordelia, a man with dark hair and eyes beside her. He looked familiar, but Alastair wasn’t sure why.

‘Jem, please help my daughter,’ Father pleaded.

‘Of course, uncle,’ Jem said. ‘You and your family are always welcome here, you know that.’

Alastair was confused. Jem was his cousin? But then why had they never met? He knew about the mysterious cousin, of course. His father had been the youngest of two brothers once, his older brother Jonah had been king before him. He’d had a son too, prince James. King Jonah and his wife had died though, and prince James had disappeared, during his father’s regency. When it became clear prince James was gone for good, his father had been crowned king. Alastair had always assumed he must have died. There were rumors king Elias had murdered his nephew so he could claim the throne. Alastair was glad to know those rumors weren’t true. But why had Jem been here all this time?

‘My wife Tessa can heal her,’ Jem continued.

Elias raised an eyebrow. ‘I though she was Will Herondale’s wife.’

‘All three of us love each other,’ Jem said and Alastair was intrigued. ‘Arendelle might not understand, but there is no need to conform to what society wants from us here.’

He’d always been taught love was between a man and his wife. Clearly Jem didn’t think so. He couldn’t find love, he reminded himself. He had his ice, his cold heart. It would be nice, to live here with a love, but that was not his destiny.

‘It is for the best you left, I think,’ Elias said.

‘Don’t be rude, dear,’ his mother said. ‘They can help Cordelia.’

‘There is ice in her head,’ Tessa said. ‘I can remove it, don’t worry. It’s good the magic didn’t reach her heart. A frozen heart is the one curse I cannot break, but the head can be persuaded.’

Alastair wasn’t sure what Tessa was. She was magic, like him, right? How did she know so much about the ice, about the frozen heart? Did that mean there were others like him?

‘Lucie!’ Tessa called.

The little girl sat down beside her mother. ‘Yes, mama?’

‘You want to help, darling?’

‘Of course.’

‘My daughter is the heir to my gift,’ Tessa explained. ‘She will learn in time how to remove ice herself, in case the prince has more accidents. But for now, we’ll do it together.’

Tessa and Lucie both put their hand on Cordelia’s head. Alastair held his breath, this had to work right? Otherwise he would have killed his sister. Alastair knew he was a monster, of course, but he didn’t want his sister to suffer for what he was.

‘I must warn you, there will be a side effect,’ Tessa said. ‘Messing around in her head will affect her memory. I am doing the best I can to contain the effects and limit the memory loss, but she will lose all memory of Alastair’s magic.’

Alastair frowned. ‘So she won’t remember I have powers?’

‘No,’ Tessa said. ‘But when you’re ready, you can explain it to her. I think it might be good to work on your control first and tell Cordelia once you feel secure you won’t hurt her again. Remember, fear is your enemy. You’re always welcome to stay here, with us. People think trolls live here and stay away, you would be safe..’

The offer sounded tempting. Away from his family, from the people he hurt…

‘No,’ his father said. ‘Alastair is the crown prince of Arendelle, he will be king one day. Power or not, he must be prepared for his role. We’ll limit our staff, close the gates to limit his contact with people, so no one will find out and no one else will get hurt. He’ll learn to control it, I’m sure. Besides, your lifestyle would be a bad influence.’

Alastair’s heart sank. Of course, he was prince too. Destined to be king. It didn’t matter what he wanted. Why should a monster like him be king, he wondered, but he knew his father wouldn’t budge on the subject.

Cordelia coughed a little before opening her eyes. ‘What’s happening?’ she said, a little sleep drunk.

‘You’re all better,’ Lucie declared. ‘Although I think you still have a strand of white hair. Otherwise your hair is very pretty.’

Cordelia smiled. ‘Where am I?’

‘My name is Lucie,’ she said. ‘Will you play with me?’

‘Of course,’ Cordelia said. ‘I like making snowmen.’

‘We must go home now,’ Father said sternly.

‘Oh, that’s too bad,’ Lucie said. ‘Will you come another time, then? I’d so love to have another girl my age around. It’s just me and my cousins here and they’re all older than me.’

‘Of course,’ Cordelia said. ‘I’ll play with you.’

‘I think it would be good for us to check on Alastair’s progress regularly,’ Tessa said. ‘It would be unsafe for me to leave this village, so please come here whenever you’re ready, or if you need help.’

In the end, Alastair never returned to the village where his cousin lived. Neither did Cordelia, not even to play with Lucie. A day later, she did not remember what had happened at all. As far as the people of Arendelle knew, that village didn’t exist. Tessa was a witch, after all, and so was her daughter. The people might turn on her, his father had explained. They might turn on him too. And he would deserve that. That’s why he needed to learn control.

‘You’re too sensitive, Esfandiyar,’ his father would say.

He’d learnt a rhyme over the years. Conceal it, don’t feel it. He repeated it to himself whenever he felt too much, whenever he was going to lose control. He’d received a pair of gloves from his father, something he claimed would help him.

It didn’t take long for Father to grow more absent though. Often he was sick. His fault, he was putting too much pressure on the family. All his fault. His thoughts were spiraling as they so often did, out of control as the storm inside. His fingers tingled, ice formed on the floor, on the walls. Conceal, don’t feel, he told himself. That was the only way to control.

When Alastair was eight years old, not long after the incident, his father was interested in how using the sauna would affect him. He’d never been, as he was too young and his mother wasn’t so sure it was safe for him, but his father insisted it was worth a try.

‘It might be the solution to your control problem,’ Elias had said. ‘The sauna could melt the ice.’

Alastair had been scared, but he’d been willing to give it a try. Most humans in Arendelle used a sauna from time to time, so why shouldn’t he?

It had been a nightmare. As soon as the sauna had been turned on and gotten warm, Alastair had started screaming. It was agony, fire burning his skin and everything inside, the ice begging for release.

He couldn’t use magic in here, and it hurt so much.

‘Let me out!’ he’d screamed.

It had taken some time until Father had given up and finally let him out. He wasn’t burnt, there were no signs on his body that he’d suffered. The pain had been real though. He was still so shaken he froze the entire corridor, for which his father had become angry. Later that day, Father had disappeared into his bedchambers with a bottle of a smelly drink.

Alastair would never get into the sauna again. Never. There was ice inside of him, and it didn’t like the heat. Perhaps he should try it, perhaps he should stay for longer and let it burn out the ice inside of him. Perhaps he could be free. But Alastair didn’t dare go inside the sauna again, he never wanted to feel that pain again.

***

Cordelia was lying on the floor of the ballroom. She was sure her mother would hate to find her here, but what else was she supposed to do? She sighed, would there ever be a ball here? There had been balls once, that much she remembered. She and Alastair weren’t allowed to attend yet, but they’d snuck out of bed to watch from the corridor together.

There had been so many people. Nowadays, it was only the staff, her family and Risa, her mother’s lady in waiting. Didn’t her parents understand she wanted someone to play with?

Once she’d played with Alastair almost every day. They would build snowmen and ride a sled and have snowball fights. But that had been a long time ago. Nowadays Alastair would barely acknowledge her. If he spoke at all, it was to tell her to go away and not bother him. He spent most of his time in his bedroom. Cordelia didn’t understand how one person could spend so much time in bed, especially considering he was not sick like Father. Didn’t he want to have something to do? She would play with him all day if only he opened his door.

But Alastair preferred the solitude, it seemed. He rarely even yelled at her to go away anymore. He just pretended she didn’t exist. He was studying to be king now, whereas Cordelia did not have such a responsibility. She guessed he was too mature and grown up for her now and she was just his stupid little sister. It was frustrating.

It had all started so sudden, and Cordelia had never understood why. One day they’d built a snowman together, the next Alastair didn’t even speak to her anymore. He only ever emerged from his room to eat, and to take walks on the palace grounds. Her mother didn’t want her to go there, for she might fall and hurt herself, or rip her dresses. It didn’t make much sense, because she’d followed Alastair from a distance once and there was barely anything to trip over. When Alastair had spotted her, he’d gotten angry and yelled at her to leave him alone, that this was his place, why couldn’t she at least let him have that?

Cordelia guessed her brother didn’t like her anymore.

‘What would you do, Joan?’ she asked.

No response. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting. Joan, of course, was a painting in this room, a woman in armor riding a horse. The painting had always fascinated her, because Cordelia wanted to be a warrior too and carry her own sword. It was probably all very improper, a princess talking to a portrait, but what exactly did her parents expect her to do?

Father was sick all the time nowadays, and Cordelia would often sit with him and read him stories. Alastair came in sometimes, glared at both of them, and left. At least her father still cared for her. At least it was something. Even if he mostly ignored her when he wasn’t sick, or talked to her about a potential marriage alliance when she was older. She’d never even met someone around her age, how was she supposed to get married? Her mother didn’t have time for her anymore, she had to take over from father when he was sick and run the kingdom and whatever free time she had left she spend with Alastair.

No one knew what was wrong with Father, and Cordelia worried for him. She vowed to spend as much time with him as possible, to always be there for him, because even if he was sick, he was the only one in her family who still had time for her.

‘If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?’ she asked Joan.

No response.

‘That’s right, me too. Anywhere is better than here.’

***

When Alastair was nine years old, a year after the incident, he’d made little progress on controlling the ice. If anything, it had gotten worse.

‘You’re not trying,’ his father accused him. ‘Do you want to turn your bedroom into a snow landscape? Do you like the cold? Do you like that by freezing the bathroom, you broke all the pipes? It cost a fortune to replace everything, and I couldn’t explain what happened.’

‘I’m sorry, Father,’ Alastair had said, the fear he often felt around his father gripping him.

Would he be locked inside the sauna if he didn’t do better? He was trembling on his feet as his father grabbed his elbow and took him down stairs into an old dungeon.

‘When my brother Jonah was king, he stopped using these dungeons to hold prisoners. He believed keeping people in dark and dirty cells like this was inhumane. But we do not always have the luxury of choice.’

His father showed him to a cell with a pair of cuffs, chained to the floor, designed to fit around his hands. Because that was where the magic came from, that was why the gloves helped.

‘If you cannot control yourself and become a danger to those around you, I will have no choice but to use these. Do you understand?’

Alastair was shaking, snow escaped from his hands and twirled around him. He swallowed. ‘Yes, Father,’ he said weakly.

‘And don’t act so scared,’ his father scolded. ‘With that poison inside of you, you absolutely cannot feel.’

Of course. Conceal, don’t feel. That was the only way to keep it hidden.

That night, Alastair dreamt about the chains in the dungeon, about his hands being bound, his father leaving him there.

‘You’re too dangerous,’ his father said. ‘You must stay here from now on.’

Alastair pulled at the chains, tried to break free, but it was no use. He woke up in the middle of the night, lying in the snow. On his bed, he reminded himself, but everything was covered in snow and ice. He should clean this up, he determined. He did not know how to unfreeze anything, but he could sweep the snow up and outside of the window before Father found out and determined he should be chained in that cell.

He’d considered telling his mother about the cell and the chains and that he was scared, but ultimately decided against it. He was far too scared to find out that when it came to it, she would let it happen. Worse, that she already knew.

***

Alastair was thirteen when his father presented him with the family sword. Legend had it the sword was magic, but the properties of the weapon had been lost over time. No king of Arendelle had ever died in battle while carrying it though, and some speculated the sword watched over them, protected them. Alastair didn’t know what too believe when it came to cortana. He knew his sister wished she could be the one to own the sword, but Alastair knew as future king he was supposed to bear it. He was sure Cordelia could practice with it when he wasn’t using it.

‘Now, Alastair, this is an important part of the Carstairs legacy,’ Elias said. ‘If you can use this sword, you would be protected if people ever learnt of the ice that’s inside your heart.’

That’s what Elias often called it, the ice inside his heart. Don’t feel, Alastair reminded himself. He wasn’t supposed to feel, or he would upset the ice. Elias treated it as something separate from him, a demon that would strike if Alastair didn’t work hard enough. He didn’t think that was right, but didn’t dare say anything.

Elias presented him with the sword. Alastair had never held it before, had only admired it from a distance. He took the hilt in his hand and immediately dropped it, yelping in pain. As soon as the hilt touched him, a pain shot through his hand. His skin was red, blisters were forming where the sword had touched him. He’d sustained burn marks.

His mother came in when she heard him scream and rushed him to the infirmary immediately, where he’d gotten his hand bandaged and lied about what had caused the burn, claiming he’d wanted to help in the kitchen and touched a hot pot. A horrible shame crept over him and gripped his stomach. He was unworthy. He couldn’t even hold cortana. The family sword, the weapon that had been carried by all great kings and queens before him, had chosen to burn him.

***

‘I have a surprise for you, dear,’ her father said with a smile.

It had been ages since Cordelia had seen him so healthy and she was glad he was having a good day. She missed him. She’d wanted to go to his bedroom and read to him, but Alastair had told her she couldn’t. When she’d asked for more information, he’d refused to explain and just said she wouldn’t understand. Alastair often treated her as if she was stupid and did not understand anything, but Father never did.

She didn’t know what to do with her brother anymore. She’d loved him once, that she knew. Part of her still did. But she was fairly certain he didn’t love her anymore. He’d left her all alone. At least he still had her father, even if he was gone so often. It wasn’t his fault he was sick.

‘What is it?’ Cordelia asked.

‘It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?’ Elias said with a chuckle.

Cordelia’s dark eyes went wide as her father showed her to the room where cortana was kept. For years she’d begged to touch the sword, to practice with it. But the sword wasn’t hers. As heir, it belonged to Alastair. Even if he’d never shown interest in it, even if wielding cortana had been Cordelia’s dream for a long time.

‘I’ve discussed with your brother, and we decided that since you are so attached to cortana, it should be yours,’ her father said. ‘You are worthy of the sword.’

Cordelia picked it up. She’d never trained with it, although she did know the basics of swordplay. With nothing else to do, she’d watched the guards train from a distance and had copied their movements. It felt good in her hands, like it fit perfectly and had always belonged to her.

‘Now, a sword is a great responsibility,’ her father said. ‘Cortana has a sharp edge and a dull edge. You can always choose mercy, and that is what the old kings and queens of Arendelle became known for. Remember that.’

Cordelia nodded. ‘Of course. I will not let anyone harm us, but when I defeat my enemy I will always offer mercy.’

***

There was only one other person outside of his family and Tessa’s who knew about Alastair’s powers. It had been an accident, really. Alastair was allowed to go outside onto the palace grounds and practice. Cordelia wasn’t allowed to go there with him, so no one would see if he lost control. It was the only place where he could get some air. But it wasn’t enough, and sometimes the walls of the palace felt suffocating. He longed to get away, to disappear.

So one day, he’d made sure no one saw him and had snuck over the wall. It had been easy, really. He’d built a ladder out of ice. In the summer heat, it would melt and no evidence of his escape would be left behind. He could control the ice inside him when he set his mind to an explicit goal.

Honestly, the problem arose when he felt. Better to freeze his own heart. But he couldn’t help but feel when Father yelled at him, when he drank so much he couldn’t stay awake anymore. It was all his fault, he knew. Father wouldn’t have started drinking if he’d been better, if he had never hurt his sister. But he was a monster and he deserved his father’s anger.

He knew Cordelia hated him. He had accepted it. She would be safe and Alastair would never hurt her again. If that meant she hated him, it would be alright. Tessa had said once he could tell Cordelia about his powers when it was safe again, but Alastair feared it would never be. He had nightmares sometimes and woke up in a snow landscape instead of a bedroom. Sometimes the emotions just became too much.

On the other side of the wall was another forest, and here he could be himself. He would be alone, yes, but Alastair would always be alone. Most of the time he didn’t mind the solitude so much. At least here he wasn’t trapped within those walls.

He just walked, not sure where he was going. He would find his way back to the wall eventually, he told himself. A castle was hard to miss. He didn’t even notice the boy in the woods until he was right behind him.

‘Hello.’

Alastair was startled. He wished he could say he’d responded with some decorum, but that would be a lie. Instead, ice had shot out of his right hand, with which he had been leaning against a tree. He was stuck, frozen against a tree. Great, just his luck.

‘Are you alright?’ the boy asked.

Alastair wished he could have turned around, but his hand was still very much stuck, glove and all. There was only so much the glove did. He still had to control his own emotions. Conceal, don’t feel. He’d broken that rule, and for what?

He finally broke off the chunk of ice from his hand and turned to face the boy. He was around Alastair’s age, with brown hair and hazel eyes. There was a reindeer following him, sniffing Alastair curiously.

‘I’m fine,’ he said between his teeth.

‘Were you born with the powers, or cursed?’ the boy asked curiously.

‘What kind of question is that?’ Alastair bit at him.

‘I’m sorry. That’s what my aunt said is what distinguishes sorcerers. But you don’t have to answer. I just never met someone with magic like yours before. What’s your name?’

Alastair had to think quickly. The boy didn’t recognize him, didn’t know he was the prince. He couldn’t know, because then he would spread his secret and soon the whole kingdom would know the crown prince was a monster with ice in his veins.

‘Esfandiyar,’ he said.

It was his middle name, and a little known fact. It was a name from his mother’s home country, an ancient hero his mother used to tell him stories about. It was one of the few fond memories Alastair had of being young. So much had revolved around his cursed ice.

‘Thomas,’ the boy said, offering his hand. ‘Thomas Lightwood. And this is Sven, my reindeer.’

Alastair smiled weakly, refusing to take the boy’s hand. He knew he had to go home, but he hadn’t spoken to another boy his age in forever. He didn’t want to go.

‘Why are you here in the woods?’ Alastair asked.

‘Oh, I was just on my way home with Sven after delivering my mother’s cakes. I like this part of the woods. I always came here before I was allowed to leave by myself. Why are you here? Is it because of your magic? Are people scared of your ice?’

‘People don’t know,’ Alastair said. ‘And you can’t tell anyone.’

‘I won’t,’ Thomas promised. ‘But your powers seem so awesome. I wish I had powers.’

‘No you don’t,’ Alastair said. ‘No one would want to have ice inside of them. It’s very hard to control, and you can hurt people. Badly.’

Thomas tilted his head. ‘You’re not going to hurt me, are you?’

‘I don’t want to,’ Alastair said. ‘But that does not matter. The ice does what it wants.’

‘I’m not afraid, Esfandiyar,’ Thomas said. ‘That’s a beautiful name, by the way. I wish my name was even half so extraordinary.’

‘I need to go,’ Alastair said, determined.

He would not hurt someone else, he vowed to himself. Conceal, don’t feel. It didn’t matter that Thomas was the first person in years to see him and not be afraid.

‘Will you be here tomorrow?’ Thomas asked. ‘I always take this route after delivering my mother’s cakes. I can meet you around this time every day of the week.’

Against his better judgement, Alastair said yes.

He met Thomas in the woods everyday for nearly two weeks. He didn’t lose control of the ice anymore, not when they were together. Thomas was nice, and liked telling him about his life. He didn’t even seem to mind that Alastair avoided all of his questions. One day, Thomas had baked some extra cakes and shared them with Alastair. It was Alastair’s fifteenth birthday, and although he still hadn’t told Thomas about who he was, he had mentioned that his birthday wouldn’t be celebrated. Cordelia had given up on him a long time ago, and his parents didn’t have the time. It was sweet of Thomas to think of him, the only person who had in years. It was almost better than the cakes themselves. Almost.

‘I really hope my mom won’t find out, but these are the best cakes in the whole world,’ Thomas said. ‘My mother taught me how to make them herself. Well, my cousin Christopher likes the lemon tarts more.’

‘Your parents are both bakers?’ Alastair asked.

‘No, just my mom. My father is on Arendelle’s council, although I don’t think the king listens to him a lot.’

‘Oh, that’s too bad,’ Alastair said.

He wasn’t surprised his father didn’t listen, often he wasn’t even there for meetings. But his mother would, right? She’d always been calmer and gentler than Father. But she wouldn’t go against his father’s wishes.

‘And my uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily sell ice. They travel to the north mountain and the frozen lakes at winter and cut off ice and transport if back to the city and sell it.’ Thomas smiled. ‘I always wanted to go with them when I’m old enough. But what’s the point of going all the way to the north mountain when you can just conjure ice out of thin air?’

‘Believe it or not, making that journey is probably less dangerous than asking me to supply the world with ice,’ Alastair said.

‘Perhaps,’ Thomas said. ‘But I’m certain there’s a way to control it. I haven’t seen you lose control at all since when we first met and I startled you.’

‘I feel less around you,’ Alastair said. ‘I’m not supposed to feel and at home I do that a lot. But with you, it’s better. I don’t think I feel anything.’

Thomas frowned. ‘Oh,’ he said and Alastair suspected something was wrong.

‘What is it?’

‘I thought you liked spending time with me,’ he said. ‘But now you say you don’t feel anything.’

‘That’s a good thing,’ Alastair insisted. ‘I’m not supposed to feel.’

‘Everyone’s supposed to feel, Esfandiyar,’ Thomas said. ‘If you don’t feel anything when you’re with me… I guess you don’t like my company as much as I thought. Maybe it’s better if I don’t come back.’

Alastair’s eyes went wide. His fingers started tingling. No, no. Conceal, don’t feel. Don’t let it show.

‘No!’ he said. ‘Please. I’m all alone, you’re the only person who understands. You weren’t meant to find out, but you did, and now you’re all I have.’

Thomas looked confused. ‘But that means you did feel something, right? If you truly felt nothing, you wouldn’t care if I left.’

Alastair shook his head. ‘No, when you said you would leave, I did feel. Please stay with me, Thomas. I don’t want to feel. Usually, it’s like a storm and I have to fight to keep the ice inside. You make everything better. With you I don’t feel the storm.’

‘I think you’re a little confused about what it is to feel,’ Thomas said. ‘You know it’s more than sadness and fear, and anger right? Happiness is also feeling. I feel happy when I see you in the woods.’

‘Perhaps that’s it,’ Alastair said. ‘Do you think it’s alright for me to feel happiness? Even if I’m not supposed to feel?’

‘Of course, Esfandiyar. What is the point, if you can never be happy? I have to go home before my mom realizes I’m late. But can I see you again tomorrow?’

‘Always,’ Alastair said.

The last day he met Thomas, the other boy was acting a little shifty. Alastair wasn’t sure what it was. It made him nervous. He knew to expect bad things when people acted like that.

‘Esfandiyar, there’s something I need to tell you,’ Thomas said.

His cheeks were red, and Alastair didn’t think it was from the cold. Alastair waited expectantly, but Thomas didn’t continue.

‘What is it?’ Alastair asked.

‘Well, you see,’ Thomas began, stumbling over his words, but he was not to finish them.

His father came stumbling into the woods, Alastair could tell from his demeanor that he’d been drinking. His fault, he should have stayed in the castle. Of course they’d notice he’d snuck out.

‘Alastair, where have you been?’ the king asked.

Thomas looked at Alastair, and then at the king. ‘Alastair? Oh heaven, you’re the prince, aren’t you?’

Alastair sighed. ‘Esfandiyar is my middle name. I’m sorry Thomas. I shouldn’t have lied to you.’

‘Who are you?’ his father hissed at Thomas, and Alastair hoped Thomas wouldn’t notice his slurred speech, betraying to a trained ear that he was drunk.

‘Thomas Lightwood, your Majesty,’ Thomas said softly. ‘My mother is a baker. My father is Gideon Lightwood, he represents the commoners on your council. I was just on my way home. I swear I didn’t know he was the prince. I am so sorry.’

‘Go home, Lightwood,’ the king said. ‘And do not let me catch you here with my son again, or I’ll have you thrown into the dungeons.’

Thomas took Sven and disappeared. Alastair dreaded what would come next. Father could be unpredictable when he was drunk, dangerous even. Alastair was terrified he would be dragged into the dungeons to those cuffs, or to the sauna.

‘I’m sorry, Father,’ Alastair said softly.

‘What were you thinking,’ his father snapped. ‘You’re a prince, not some peasant boy. How can you risk them finding out?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Alastair repeated. ‘He was nice to me.’

‘He’s a peasant boy, of course he’s nice to you if he thinks it’ll win the prince’s favor,’ Elias said. ‘You must learn these things, or you’ll fall for anyone with even a little bit of charm.’

‘He didn’t know I was a prince,’ Alastair protested.

Elias didn’t even look at him. ‘Of course he did. Everyone in the kingdom knows who you are. He lied to you to bring you into a false sense of security. You’re so naïve, to have believed him. I have sent for someone to come and teach you about ruling a country. It’s about time you learnt to be a proper prince.’

Alastair looked back once more, but Thomas was long gone. Alastair went back to the forest the next day, desperate to hear what Thomas had wanted to tell him, even if it was only once. But Thomas had been nowhere to be found, and Alastair had returned to the palace, defeated. He was all alone.

His father was right, it was time to be a proper prince. He was fifteen now, he was old enough to understand how the kingdom worked. His father couldn’t fulfill his duties anymore, not with his drinking eating away at him and his mother doing everything she could to fill in the gaps. It was time for him to step up.