#they're Sophomores so like in 10th grade so like 15/16

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

The Smell of Home

Damian had noticed the new student in his school.

Not because he was new or how he looked

no, not any of the usual reasons someone would grab peoples attention.

Weirdly enough it was his scent, which was really weird. He usually didn't take notice of how people smell besides the usual just like anyone else.

But something about the smell that seemed to emanate from this new student who he had learned his name was Danny Fenton, just would not leave his mind.

He knew the smell but couldn't remember from where and it was just at the tip of his tongue, it was driving him crazy.

His family seemed to notice him become more irritable from usual.

But not around Fenton, he seemed to unconsciously calm down in his presence, which just made him suspicious and more irritated.

It wasn't until he woke up from a dream of memories from when he was little and still living with his mom that he realized what he was smelling.

The Lazarus Pits.

He grew up with that smell, it used to hang around the entire area and buildings.

He hadn't realized how long it had been since he had smelled it

He unconsciously related it to the smell of his childhood home.

But why would this random boy give off that very same odor?

Some investigating needed to be done.

~

Danny had noticed one of his classmates a boy he learned was called Damian seemed to act ...odd?

But only around him it seemed

With everyone else he was normal if a bit cold.

He would seem to relax an then suddenly tense up and send him a suspicious glare.

Also he was pretty sure that the boy seemed to be sniffing him?

Did he smell bad or something?

Why was he the only one who he seemed to act weird with.

Oh God, maybe he thought the smell of ecto was weird?

But that's not something he could control and most people never even seemed to notice the smell of ecto he produced since he became a halfa.

~

Damian glaring at Danny every time he realizes he's relaxed

Danny: "What did I do!?"

~

Batfam notices Damian being extra grouchy :" Ah, he's going through his rebellious phase"

~

Danny: "Did you just sniff mE!"

Damian: *scoff* "Don't be absurd"

~

Damian stealing Danny's clothes to analyze

Danny: " Who keeps taking my stuff?!"

Batfam: "Damian we know you're growing and experiencing new things, but stealing the things especially clothes from your crush is crossing boundaries"

Damian: "This is a misunderstanding, I don't have a crush on anyone!"

Bruce: "Son I think it's time I give you 'The Talk TM', I have an entire slideshow and docume-"

Damian: "This family is a nightmare!"

~

Just an Idea

[one-abuse-survivor]

before i start, thank you so much for doing what you do;this blog has given me good advice countless times and i really have to thank you for that.

my issues with my parents are that they don't take me seriously. i can literally go up to them and say: "mom/dad, i think i might be autistic or have ADHD (both would be quite likely) can i get that checked out" and list a bunch of examples why i think that and they'll just be "nah, that can't be, you don't seem like that at all" as of i didn't break my mind over it researching it and talking to people who have it to see if we've had similar experiences just to get some kind of reference as to why i feel the way i feel and why i struggle so much with things that so many other people find so easy.

but then, in the following weeks and months (after talking w them) they just randomly point out things about me that kinda annoy them, like me talking out of turn a LOT or me not looking at people or me having trouble focusing if there isn't also music and a movie going at the same time or mom saying that i seem hyperactive to her because i'm always moving my legs or pacing around or rubbing my hands or drumming on the table with pens. things like that (plus a lot more) were the exact things i was telling them about and they just put it off like it's nothing but as soon as it affects and annoys them it's suddenly very real. at this point i'm struggling to talk to my parents about anything even remotely more serious than generic smalltalk and i'm having a hard time believing myself that my struggles are in fact real and i'm not just making them up.

and also on a less related note; the thing i hate most about my parents: if i'm wearing headphones and couldn't understand what a parent was yelling from somewhere else in the house then it's my fault. but if it's the exact same situation but i'm the one calling and they couldn't hear me, then it's obviously my fault too (i kinda get the first one but srsly how could i not wear headphones when they're constantly arguing with my brother in the room next to mine) (either way if one of the scenarios is clearly my fault, then the other shld be clearly their fault bc that's how logic works)

hhhh, this got quite long. i would love to hear your thoughts about this

a continuation from the other ask about my parents not taking me seriously even when i ask them for help with my hardest problems. that ask didn't really go in the direction i had planned but there is so much going on between my parents and me that i really need to talk to someone about

background: i'm around 15-16 rn and have a brother who's 18. primary school was academically very easy for me (lots and lots of great and even perfect grades) but my brother didn't have it as easy (lots and lots of mediocre and meh grades) so my parents really just kinda let me do my thing while they were constantly busy with my brother. so i got really independant and did all of my stuff on my own bc a) i always had done it that way and b) my parents were already busy and stressed. but after my brother got his first computer and got into video games his grades dropped and my parents started constantly arguing with him and taking away his computer and stuff like that so there was always a lot of tension (and i got to a point where i can't handle people yelling; that's what i was referring to with the headphone thingy at the end of the last ask) i don't know if i can go that far and say that my parents kinda neglected me and my emotional needs in favour of saving my brother grades but that's pretty much the way it feels.

i'm now a sophomore (school works a bit different here but i'm the equivalent of a highschool sophomore afaik, here it's just 10th grade) and starting from about mid 8th grade (end of 2018) i've been struggling a lot with self care and upkeep of my already minimal social circle and academic stuff (i'm at the academically highest level of school you could be at my age without skipping any years) and also mental health.

i got quite depressive and started isolating myself and casting away friends and my grades went down a lot, which really disappointed me because my great grades were kind of my trademark thing. but i didn't feel safe talking to my parents because of the huge distance that we built by me "never" needing their help with stuff.

in that time (almost a year ago, our anniversary is in twenty days or so) i got a girlfriend and i'm hella glad that i can talk to her about everything but i feel like i can't just go dump trauma and parent issues on her forever

about last november or so i was at a pretty low point and was suicidal and that's kind of when i snapped and went to my parents to talk so being cast away and having my issues invalidated really really hurt then and made me spiral even deeper and my gf was the only thing keeping me afloat.

i'm kind of a bit better now but i have rebuilt my view of my parents from "idk we never really interact" to "trying to interact or talk is not worth the energy" and needless to say i don't like them that much

oh and i forgot about all the times i got panic attacks and sensory overloads @ school because there are so many people there (1700 students + 200 teachers) and it's loud everywhere and of course asking my parents for what to do if suddenly everything is too bright and too loud and you can't move or talk because of it didn't get me anywhere (and since i didn't know what it was called or how to describe it properly, i didn't really find any Information online either

and just typing this makes me think of so many more things that they did that aren't okay things to do (a lot of gender identity stuff for example because i'm also neck-deep in that) . but writing this has also helped a lot right now. thank you for being there and listening.

and just in case i'm ever gonna pop back in to say something i'm gonna drop a name for easier identifying

sincerely - 🌌 milky way anon

Hi, nonnie! Thanks for the kind words, I'm really glad my blog has been of help ❤️

I'm sorry your parents are making it hard to believe your struggles are real :( you deserve to be taken seriously and to get access to all the help you might need. Just the fact your symptoms are there and you're noticing them and they're interfering with your daily life is enough to get them checked, regardless of if you need a diagnosis/meds/anything else. No one deserves to live wondering if their struggles are worth discussing with a doctor or professional.

And you're right: if one of those things was your fault, then the other should be theirs, logically. But I don't even think it's "your fault" you didn't hear them because you were wearing headphones, to be honest. I think it's just something that happens from time to time and that doesn't warrant getting mad over; I think it's the kind of thing that simply needs to be talked about so everyone in the household knows how to communicate with everyone else without getting frustrated. It's as easy as saying "hey, whenever I put on headphones I'll just text the family group chat to let you guys know I won't hear you. If you need anything in those moments, just text me instead". I do this with my girlfriend sometimes—if we're wearing headphones and we're in the same room, we simply pat each other when we need something and wait until the other takes off their headphones to talk. It really doesn't have to be an issue where anyone is to blame. You're allowed to take steps to feel safe and comfortable in your house without getting punished for it.

But, of course, this doesn't work if the people around you choose to prioritise "being right" and proving you're wrong over a peaceful and healthy cohabitation, which is what most toxic and abusive people do.

As for your second ask, I would say if it feels like your parents neglected you and your needs because they were always focusing on your brother, then it's okay to say that they did. The fact alone that those feelings are there makes you deserving of talking about it and wanting to heal from it; the cause of those feelings doesn't have to be something major, or sound deeply traumatising when you say it out loud, in order to "count". And people whose emotional needs were consistently met don't feel like they weren't.

I've already shared this video before, but if you want some resources on identifying and healing from emotional neglect, I really recommend watching it. Please bear in mind, though, that the video says it's important to not blame parents for emotionally neglecting you, but I don't think that's the message a lot of people need to hear and I think you should allow yourself to feel angry at your parents for not meeting your needs and causing you trauma. That's pretty much the only thing I'd criticise about the video.

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with your grades and mental health lately, nonnie. I had a quite similar experience when I was in high school—I used to always get great grades, but my mental health and trauma put a lot of strain on them (as well as on my social life; I lost a lot of friends in those years) and it was really distressing to see the only thing that made me "worthy" crumble between my fingers like that. I'm still trying to unlearn this idea that your grades define your worth, and it's been really hard.

I'm so sorry your parents weren't there for you when you hit that low 😔 I'm glad your girlfriend could help you stay afloat in that moment, but they absolutely should've been there for you all those times you reached out to them for help with your struggles, and the fact that they didn't is emotionally neglectful of them.

I'm glad you're in a better place now ❤️ I really hope you can find out all the information you need on gender identity and sensory overload and any other issues that might be affecting you. Know that you deserve for your parents to be there for you. You shouldn't have to face any of this on your own, or even with only the support of other people your age. You deserve for them to care. You deserve to have your symptoms checked out. You deserve adult guidance to find resources to help you better understand and manage your struggles.

Sending all my virtual support your way ❤️ and happy belated anniversary to you and your girlfriend!

[tiny012]

Okay, it's the first day of school at the beginning of the series. In Japan, School starts in April. Usagi is 14 at the beginning of the series, and turns 15 on June 30th. Mamoru is 16 at the beginning of the series, and turns 17 on August 3rd. If they were in the American school system (depending on the district), Usagi would be a freshman in high school and Mamoru would be a junior. And calculating their age difference, they're 1 year and 10 months apart. So where is the problem?

I’m about to straight copy and paste from Age gap and  the School sections from IN THE DEFENSE OF MAMORU CHIBA ( BECAUSE BITCH I’M TRIED)  post. Word from Word since I discussed this in length. 

It shows not only the obvious that R takes place right before Mamo’s birthday but also shows that Usagi birthday has already passed since hers in June. Meaning that it’s a possibly that become officially dating either a little before or right after her 15th birthday. So that possibly meaning that wasn’t even 14 when they became official. You can say that DK arc started early April or even late March (since she does say she met him in early spring which late March can classify as Early spring) since Rei turned 14 right after she becoming Mars and could have ran until at least June (since she said she come to his apartment in the Summer which could have meant act 7 took place late June. (Which would have been one of a hell of birthday present trying to save the world). While it’s possible that R arc could have started in July.

School System

Japanese

America

Let’s Discuss this.

But first let me link the Japanese School System Article as my source.

I’m also putting the American (Got from Wikipedia) and Japanese (Color one) Grade/Ages chart as well.

Usagi - Second Year in Junior High School Aka 8 grade (page 7 of Eternal Manga)

Mamoru- Second Year in High School aka 11 grade. (Page 102 of Eternal Manga)

So Usagi is 8th grader and Mamo is 11th grader in the beginning of the series.

So essentially they are both in their second to last year in their receptive schools. I know this would be little iffy for people but the fact of the matter she’s 14 and he’s 16 aka both of them are still minors….

If this was American schools, this would honestly be Usagi last year in Junior High. In most schools, middle schools go from either grades 6-8 or 7-8. In my city, Elementary School is K-5, the 6 graders are housed in one school, 7-8 are the middle school and 9-12 is the high school.

So by the time S arrives, it got to be a new school year (since they start in April) meaning Usagi is in the 9th grade (aka 15 years old) and Mamo is in the 12th grade. ( aka 17 years old)  In American schools they would both be in High School which it would essentially be a freshman dating a senior which is like so freaking common that it’s ridiculous.

So by the time dream arrives, Usagi is a 10th grader which is her first year in high school in which if this was American school she would be in her second year and be considered a sophomore. Mamo would be a freshman in college.

So this I don’t understand.

This is completely fine.

They are both minors and is only 3 grades apart from each other. Essentially if there were in American schools once she entered the 9th grade they would be in the same school.

So really 

What is the fucking problem when you break it down? 

Like I have said before, the problem with the 90′s anime is that they made it felt larger than it is by having her act like a 10 year old while having him acting very mature to the point he acting like her parent instead of boyfriend. Also the fact putting him in college while she’s in middle school in the beginning instead of having him in college in Dream Arc while she’s in high school. On paper it’s 3 year age difference but thanks to the show shitty ass writing, it feels bigger. So I understand why people have problems with Usa/Mamo relationship from the writing standpoint (which I do ) but the age gap on paper is the least of the problems with the 90′s anime cause everything about their relationship falls under being legal by Japan’s laws. Here’s not saying that their relationship is not problematic in the 90′s anime because it is. I just wish people would stop looking it age gap being the only thing problematic about it cause on paper and legal standards by Japan it’s not.

What also makes it worse is the fact in the 90′s and manga, Mamoru does act more mature is the simple fact that he had to grow up quicker than Usagi did.  The fact the boy even though he’s still a teenager had to act like an adult since his parents died. So he had to grow up quicker than everyone else in the show besides Mako, Haruka, Mic , Rei, Mako and Ami. Usagi is blessed that she had both parents and don’t have to worry about her next meal, clothes or a roof over her head. So this boy at of 18 is paying for the lease of his apartment, his car note, clothes, groceries, insurance for the care and the bike, and probably some of his tuition if he doesn’t have a full ride. So this boy has to go full “Adulting” mode in his early to late teenage years which were not fair to him. What 18 year old is doing all that? I know it’s some but probably not a whole lot. Some 18 year olds are not mature enough to handle all that but some are. Also the fact we don’t know if he have a benefactor until he turns 20 which when he can fully get what his parents left him. So he’s “too mature” for Usagi for a reason cause he didn’t have the luxury to be a silly teenager like Usagi can. That was ripped away from once his parents died.

But in the manga, you don’t fucking have that problem cause the simple fact Usagi matures as each arc progresses. She’s grows from a childish teenager who have insecurities to a mature  confident young lady/woman on the brink of young adult hood. So start to understand her feelings and learn how to channel them. So she has to chance to catch up to his level of maturity which at the same token,he had a chance to be silly and let loose around her. They balance each other out by the time dream arc ends which the main reason why they acted liked they was already freaking married. 

But hey people are still not understanding that at all.