#they're both pathetic your honor

[tiredbitchposts]

There are many differences and similarities between Luo Bingge and Luo Bingmei but the main ones i can think abt is how they're crazy ex-boyfriend and crazy ex-girlfriend coded. Like, Bingge is the type to pretend he does not care, he'll sleep with the entire town after the break up but will still scream, cry, throw up if he finds out you held hands with another guy, Bingmei is the type to very much show he cares, he'll fake a pregnancy, have a mental breakdown in public and call you while crying. They're both the type to try and fight your "new man" but Bingge will deny he did it out of jealousy while Bingmei will admit he did it out of jealousy, but will cry so much you'll end up comforting him.

[namachuki]

Anguish emoji

[hazel2468]

Okay so. The Avery shipping continues to run amok and I figured I would share a doodle I'm doing of like. The essential "Romance with Avery" scene- the Shower Scene. So- have the (WIP) Bad Blood rendition of the Shower Scene.

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

Tea Shop

Xie Lian x M!reader x Hua Cheng

Y'all I've been thinking for ages how to make a two person scene a three person scene. What am I supposed to do, make two brides??? So if you have any ideas come bless me with them. 🫵🙃

Previous part: God of Song's second ascension

_____________________________________________

After you guide Xie Lian carefully out of the heavens so that he doesn't kill himself by accident . It takes a day to get to a tea shop. It could've taken longer, like three days but you saved yourselves sometimes. Since you can actually have spiritual prowess. The only reason it wasn't any quicker is because Xie Lian demanded you to not overwork yourself and use too much mana.

Xie Lian has always looked simple enough with plain, white robes. You on the other hand have to take on an 'avatar' you don't need anyone noticing you either. So you also dawn white robes, but of course a veil stays on.

You and Xie Lian sit at a table in the corner of the tea shop and you sit across from him. The two of you look over the scroll Ling Wen has given you... it isn't very helpful, but that's alright.

Both yours and Xie Lian's attention is captured by a silver butterfly. It flies across both of you and out the window. When you turn your head your heart almost drops out of your throat. Xie Lian is surprised as well to see two men sitting by you. One sat by you and the other sat by Xie Lian. There's only so much room on these benches after all.

You grimace at their presence. It's not hard to read the spiritual energy from them, they're obvious officials. You glare at them, Xie Lian is much kinder, "Oh uh who are you guys..?"

"Fu Yao" the one by you replies.

"Nan Feng" the one by Xie Lian replies.

You've never side eyed someone so hard in your endless years of life. At the 'Fu Yao' person beside you.

Ling Wen transmits a message to the two of you that they're volunteer officials. You huff inwardly. There's no way anyone from the upper court would offer their deputies from the middle court to help them.

That's because they aren't from the middle court though.

"Well I thank you for your help" Xie Lian says, quickly accepting their new guests.

"Which highnesses sent you?" You ask with narrowed eyes. You know they aren't deputies. Who are you to stress Xie Lian out more though, he already looks horrified when the officials answer his question.

"The palace of Nan Yang"

"The palace of Xuan Zhen"

"..."

Your glare only grows sharper. You've no clue why Mu Qing out of all people would want to help. You also have no idea why he would sit next to you of all people.

"Oh did your generals send you?" Xie Lian asks with a mouthful of tea.

"They didn't know we were coming" they answered in unison.

Xie Lian ponders for a moment, but you're quick to make the two squirm. Just because you can.

"Two officials from the lower court shouldn't go off without permission no? The trouble surely isn't worth it." Your eyes crinkle, as you smile at the two.

Lower court used to be what's now called the middle court. It was changed when whiny officials started complaining it made them seem trivial compared to officials in the upper court. To them an apparent mark to their honor. To you a pathetic attempt to seem important.

"..."

"..."

Your smile widens under your veil when they don't answer. What are they going to say? Their lack of words don't stop Fu Yao from glaring at you or from making Nan Feng squirm in his spot.

Xie Lian ever so kindly saves them, "Well do you know who we are?"

"You're his royal highness the crown prince and he's general /n"

"You're the justice of the mortal realm, the center of the world"

Mu Qing does not regard you at all and rolls his eyes when he answers.

Xie Lian chokes on his tea, "Did he just roll his eyes?"

" He did, tell him to scram" you and Nan Feng say together.

"Any official who was available was welcome to help so who are you to tell me to scram?" Fu Yao sneered. Again his words are only pointed at Nan Feng, not you.

"Ah well more help is better than none right?" Xie Lian smiles.

You sigh and all four of you go over the scroll together.

**********************************************************

Eventually it begins to get dark and all of you will need to find a place to sleep. Long ago, Xie Lian and you would sleep in the streets or on the ground. You put a stop to that. After becoming a powerful enough ghost and god you entreated yourself to your own palace. Not in the heavens though, you chose for it to be in the ghost realm. This was a while before Crimson Rain took over ghost city

Your palace just happened to be in close proximity to it and eventually ghosts started inhabiting themselves. Now all three realms call your palace, "The city of the lost". It's rarely talked about because well it's "lost" not many people find it, your city also doesn't cause trouble. It's just kinda there.

That is where you would usually go though but now you have two more officials with you and you'll be damned if you bring Mu Qing into your city.

"Why don't we find a temple of Nan Yang? I'm sure there's one around." You say, standing next to Xie Lian.

The four of you do eventually find one, it's a little run down but it's good enough. Your attention is dragged away when you notice a girl praying. A girl praying in a temple of Nan Yang? Makes you want to give your heart out.

You can't resist your temptations when Xie Lian asks why the temple has so many women worshippers. It's unusual for a martial god's temple after all. While Nan Feng feels the need to block the question, Fu Yao indulges it.

"I know what you want to ask, you want to ask why there's so many female worshippers right?"

You hold the urge to cackle, and lean in close to Xie Lian's ear. You happily ignore the two officials's glares. You whisper to him, "Xie Lian many women worship Nan Yang's temple so in the future their man will have... Good assets" you giggle into his ear.

For a martial god it isn't normal for many women to pray in their temples. Xie Lian was an exception because he was more of a ' feminine god ' depicted with lotus flowers. You were an exception because of femininity and because you're the God of song. The arts, like dance, drawing, and song were more partaken by women than men. Most martial gods don't have femininity, so rare for women's prayers.

You stay close to Xie Lian's side as Fu Yao judges the poor girl to pieces, calling her ugly. Xie Lian sighs, "You can't talk about girls like that Fu Yao" but you can tell Xie Lian is thinking the same thing. You snicker placing a hand on your hip.

Xie Lian notices a slash in the girl's dress, he tries to offer her his outer robe so that she can cover herself but of course she freaks out. She moves to slap Xie Lian but why would you just stand there? You grab her wrist and throw her to the side. 'throw' is an overstatement it was truly a nudge.

Once Xie Lian tells her she has a slash in her dress she finally accepts his robe and then runs out of the Temple.

Now Xie Lian's undressed. Bandages over his chest, and neck can be seen now. Nan Feng and Fu Yao stare in quiet shock. You on the other stare in admiration. Xie Lian is undeniably beautiful. You chuckle softly and remove your outer robe, unlike Xie Lian you have an under robe on. You move it over Xie Lian's shoulders.

"Should've let her run out with the slash in her dress. It's just like you to give the clothes off your back, A-Lian" you hum softly. Xie Lian smiles in thanks and puts on your robe.

He does look very pretty especially in your clothes.

**********************************************************

The next day all four of you go back to the tea shop. You aren't paying attention to the conversation about Mount Yunjin. You'd much rather pay attention to Wèizhī. The two birds hop around on the table and chirp away.

You decided to bring them today, simply because they bring you peace of mind. Of course they aren't only birds they're much more than that. Anyone would know if they're close to you, and they've seen the earring hiding behind your long hair.

Right now they're birds though and you'd much rather chirp away with the Magpies then pretend to chat with the officials next to you.

It isn't until loud drums and a gathered crowd outside has all four of you going outside to check it out. A line of men outside carrying a sedan is what the crowd is gathered for. As for the last inside the sedan... She looks like her neck has been snapped. It proves so when a fake head rolls to yours and Xie Lian's feet.

"Ew" you sneer and quickly kick it away. You assume whatever these mortals are doing is connected with the Ghost Groom. You stand to the side however as Wèizhī perches on your shoulders.

"If I was a ghost groom I'd kill the entire group for sending such an ugly thing to me" Fu Yao comments in disgust and rolls his eyes

"Fu Yao you aren't talking like an immortal should." Xie Lian said. "And can you fix that eye-rolling habit of yours? Why don't you set a small target for yourself first and only roll five days or something like that?"

" Set it fifty times a day and it still won't be enough!" Nan Feng yells

"Leave Fu Yao alone, if he rolls them hard enough maybe they'll fall out on their own." You add, with a snicker.

You're interrupted by yelling, one of the men in the group yelling about how it's useless and that they should just charge into Mount Yunjin and dragging an ugly freak out. They all hoot in agreement.

"Ugly Freak? Shopkeeper what are they talking about?" Xie Lian asks

The tea master explains, "The ghost groom has such an ugly appearance that no woman loves it, so he wears bandages around his face. That is why he kidnaps brides."

"Just because his face is wrapped in bandages doesn't mean it's ugly. There's a possibility it's so beautiful that it doesn't want others to see it, so he covers it up" Fu Yao says.

When Fu Yao quickly glances at you, you ignore. This isn't about you and you know that Fu Yao is truly a prick. No need to make something out of nothing.

Your group's attention is caught when the same girl from yesterday begging them not to go do anything dangerous and a man bitching at her because she refused to join them.

You don't care about anyone's affairs unless it has something to do with Xie Lian. You perk in attention when the man pushes the girl roughly, Xie Lian ever so kindly catches her.

Xie Lian uses Rou'ye to smack down the man and then just as quickly hides back in Xie Lian's sleeve. You snicker softly at the slumped man in the dirt. The man is not happy though, he's having none of it. He brandishes his sword and yells that Xie Lian is using wicked magic.

Nan Feng uses his palm to snap a wooden pillar of the tea shop and the group of men run in fear. You side eye Nan Feng. You have mixed opinions on him, but even after so long... "You're still just a brute dummy. You're paying for that" you smile behind the veil and return to Xie Lian's side.

The four of you eventually head back to the temple. With newly acquired information from Ling Wen, you now know that you're going to need a fake bride. However you can't use any mortals since it's a wrath level ghost.

"Well if we can't use women we'll have to use men" said Fu Yao.

"What man is going to want to dress up as a bride?" Nan Feng sighs.

The two suddenly have the same idea and look over to you and Xie Lian.

"???"

"No." You glare.

**********************************************************

Nighttime, the temple of Nan Yang.

You watch as Xie Lian walks from the back in a brides dress, hair down and flowing. You sigh into your hand. It doesn't look like a bride at all

Nan Feng has a more extreme reaction, "Fuck!" He just can't stand to see Xie Lian in a brides dress, it's awful.

Fu Yao scans Xie Lian with a complicated look.

"Do you have something you wish to say?" He asked

Fu Yao nodded "if someone sent a woman like this to me..."

"you'd kill the whole town was it?" You snicker.

"No I'd kill the woman." Fu Yao replied frigidly.

Xie Lian smiles, "Then thank goodness I'm not the woman."

You hum, "A-Lian let me help you, obviously these two have and never will see a bride in their lives" you smile, "not unless it's each other..." You mutter the last part out.

"Excuse me..." The four of them look at the voice. It's the girl from earlier. She has a white robe in her hand and stands with trepidation. "I've washed these clothes to return them to you and thank you so much for yesterday and today"

You see Xie Lian smiles in response but suddenly remembers his attire.

"Are you... if you want I can help?" She asks, no longer shy.

"No miss you misunderstand this isn't a hobby of mine" Xie Lian laughs nervously.

You on the other hand are happy with this development. "Yes! Come help us."

And so that began Xie Lian's makeover. The girl has a sewing kit on her and helps Xie Lian fit into his dress. You do Xie Lian's hair - you do it all the time anyways - and together the two of you do Xie Lian's makeup. After you're finished with him, he looks like a proper bride and a damn good one too. If you weren't a ghost there would be a blush on your cheeks.

__________________________________________________

Guys. If anyone has actually read all of these parts I need y'all to tell me if Y/n is making sense. 😭 Like do we understand the background and his character? Do we understand the b i r d s?

Time gap between here and first glance

First Glance

[fountainpenguin]

Secret Life finale highlights for me:

- "My strategy: Kill Skizz and Tango. Will happen at some point... Or, just maim them and watch them die in a corner." - Scar

- Scott on Grian's loyalty: "I have never seen a man drop a pair of sunglasses faster in my life [than last season after Joel died]."

- I think I reblogged someone's speculation weeks ago that at the dawn of final session, everyone's task book would just say "Win Secret Life." Congrats to them for Apollo's gift of prophecy.

- Martyn's beat of pause before saying to Joel "Welcome to the Out of Context video."

- At the start of the season, Etho said Joel was the first one he wanted to kill because "He's cheeky." When Joel is asked who he wants to kill, he says "Etho." Glad you're enjoying your rivalry, boys, smh...

- Joel, once again giving into his Shrek origins, watching Bdubs' wool globe go up in flames and chirping "My world's on fire; how 'bout yours?"

- Tango does not break his "pathetic death" curse. Just blipped out of existence. Love that for him.

- Spitting, crying... BigB panics and flees into his creepy backrooms for safety. Immediately vanishes into the tunnel maze. Scar pursues and skids to a halt because he hasn't seen it yet and is thoroughly creeped out.

- Scar coming up to surface and trying to describe how BigB disappeared. Martyn looks down at where they're standing and is just like "Oh, that's the backrooms." Mental image of Scar as that meme that goes "The. what."

- Scar describing BigB as a sneaky squirrel. "Squirrel" was the name of BigB's horse in Double Life.

- Joel's anxiety about entering a Nether portal on the final episode, specifically because of how he and Etho perma-died in Double Life

- Whatever was going on with Martyn flinging ender pearls up the ladder seconds before he died

- Additionally, people in the background commenting that they think Martyn's teamed up with Cleo and the only reason he was near them was an attempt to bear down and kill them

- Scar to Bdubs, watching Cleo and Etho from a distance: "Look at this- Mom and Dad are bringing their new ugly stepson to meet us, Bdubs." /camera pans to the warden chasing them

- Bdubs tells Scar that Cleo said he was her favorite son and Scar IMMEDIATELY, without responding or even waiting for Bdubs to finish his sentence, jumps a wall and books it to Cleo to confirm... Mental image of him swinging dramatically over it with one hand, his shawl billowing behind him

- Scar chases Cleo while they're both being pursued by a warden, asking her if he's her favorite son. Doesn't let up until she assures him she "just said it to keep Bdubs happy." what is wrong with the Clocker family.

- Joel somehow pulled off a beautiful PVP kill on Skizz despite having only 2.5 hearts

- In earlier episodes, Joel had people say "The florist sends his regards" on his behalf before striking. Before killing Skizz, he says "Scar sends his regards" since Scar really wanted to kill Skizz but bequeathed the fight to Joel instead.

- Scar trotting up to Etho and Cleo, who are watching him from a cliff, and announcing "I am not up to anything nefarious!"

- Scar's weird spiky wall design is really pretty

- slkdjfskldjfsklj?!?!?!? I had a bullet point on this list that said "Honorable non-finale mention to Scar getting both the Green and Yellow kill on Etho this season" but now I see I need to correct that:

- Shout-out to Scar killing Etho - in Etho's front yard - THREE TIMES this season. Etho rushing back to his base, tripping over his feet and saying "I'm going home, everybody- I'm dying at my home-"

- Scott to Scar: "I went down to BigB - to get him - and I see what you mean; he does just talk his way out of things so you feel bad; you just leave him." / Scar: "That's why you don't let him speak. You just inner monologue. You start talking about Star Wars so you can't hear his charms."

- As Scar drives his sword into Cleo, he says "Good-bye, Mom- This is for you telling Bdubs [he's your] favorite." Geez, dude. Scar killed both his parents; this family is a mess. Bonus points for Joel fumbling in the background like "Oh my gosh- Scar, you savage-"

- I watched multiple POVs until I was caught up to the standoff between Gem & The Scotts vs. The Mounders... So picking up from there with Scar's POV b/c his is the one I randomly started with today: I love how Joel basically went "I am once again throwing caution to the wind and charging into battle with a murderous Red rage in my eyes and no one behind me" like he ALWAYS does.

- Bdubs and Scar decide to back him up... Amazing.

- Scar has gotten 4 kills (Tango, Etho, Cleo, Impulse) and he was super close to getting BigB as well before Scott sniped the kill. Geez... The man is vicious today. During Limited Life, Grian made a comment that went something like "Of course Scar is only destructive / successful when I'm not on his team" and honestly? Yeah...

- Pearl begging Scar to kill her- Pearl warning Scar that if she perma-kills Gem, she'll go up 10 hearts- Scar refusing, insisting that he doesn't want to turn on her because it feels lame...

- Scar got Gem, he got Gem... GeminiSlay is DOWN!

- SCAR SWEEP WITH THE BOW!!

Oh my goodness, I saw his episode title ("Can Villain Scar Win?") and the words that went through my head were "Welp, that's a spoiler that he's dead." I see I was wrong.

GG, SCAR WIN!!! Man who wanted so desperately to have friends, only to trip and fail time and time again... GoodTimesWithVictor!!

My heart, Scar letting that zombie knock him down to half a heart... playing up like he didn't just watch the lightning bolt mark Pearl's demise. He wanders, calling out to Pearl, asking where she went... quietly giggling and muttering to himself as that zombie pushes at him... GG, Scar. GG.

My goodness, is this the only time we haven't seen the winner die in their perspective? Scar slams that success button for winning the game, gets 5 hearts, turns back, and that's it... That's the game. End scene.

What a LAD!!

[heavenlyhischier]

idiots in love - dick grayson

summary: two people who are madly in love with each other but they're both idiots.

word count: 5.8k (lmao sorry)

warnings: lil angsty, cursing, steamy lil makeout sesh, unedited, cursing??

notes: hi hello hi! here is something that has been sitting, more like marinating, in the drafts for a hot minute. btw its not explicitly titans!verse dick, but he's hot so sue me

Saying that befriending Jason Todd changed your life would be a complete understatement. You had gone from being invisible and living under the radar in Gotham to earning an unwanted spotlight from being seen alongside Bruce Wayne’s son nearly every day. To make that matter worse, Jason had once conned you into attending a gala that Bruce was holding because “it is the only way he could manage to survive another one of these things”. That drew a lot of rumors and suspicions from the media in Gotham as they speculated the true nature of your relationship with Jason. That was also the start of a complex and hidden relationship with his older brother.

Dick Grayson remembered the first time that he saw you like it was happening right in front of him all over again. You were standing next to Jason in a floor length black dress that shimmered blue when the light hit it just the right way. You were, albeit unknowingly, wearing his colors next to his brother and it instantly attracted him to you. He could tell you felt out of place by the way your body was turned towards Jason and your eyes kept darting around you. Trying to get you away from Jason was a much harder task than he had anticipated, but what ensued once he had made it all worth it.

Meeting Dick was something Jason had tried to keep you from for as long as he could. He knew that Dick had a less than honorable reputation when it came to women, and you getting tangled in that web was the last thing he wanted for you. Despite his efforts, your attraction to the detective was stronger than he would have guessed and you managed to fall into the hole anyway. Jason, the ever so protective friend he was, tried to keep out of it, but his brother made that increasingly harder the more often you showed up at his apartment defeated and confused.

You had initially tried to keep your relationship with Dick a secret. You really did. But being friends with someone like Jason made that impossible. He was able to find out anything and everything he wanted. When he tried, and miserably failed, to subtly ask you if you were seeing someone he knew, you came clean about everything. You told him about how the night you met Dick, he had taken you back to his apartment and you two talked for hours and hours. Jason had been slightly thrown off that he didn’t try to sleep with you, but you assured him that that didn’t happen until nearly two weeks after you had met.

You also divulged the true nature of your feelings for Dick that night, and Jason had suggested that you tell him or it was going to ultimately cause you pain and heartache. “I tried to bring it up once,” You had said, “But he kind of shut it down pretty quick. Said that we’re just friends who hook up sometimes. He just- he acts like it’s more than that when we’re in bed and it’s so confusing, but I don't want to give it up. If that’s all I can have of him, I’ll deal.”

That was nearly four months ago, and nothing had changed. Dick would call you at random times day or night and you would go running every single time. It was pathetic how desperate you were to have a piece of him, but you were too scared to ask for more. He was too closed off with his feelings to ever let you get even an inkling of how he felt about you outside of physical attraction. Jason had been right about this bringing you nothing but despair. Nonetheless, you stayed at his mercy.

Your body was hot and sticky with sweat as you lay on Dick’s chest, fingers tracing along the scars that littered his skin. You often asked how he managed to obtain so many, but he, much like Jason, said the same thing every time. “Job’s just dangerous”. You’re not quite sure how being a detective and security guard would get one in situations to earn such wounds, though you never pressed too hard. His arm was tight around you, making sure that you stayed tucked into his side as his fingers delicately grazed your waist, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind in their wake. Moments like these you both despised and cherished. They made your heart swell with hope and want, but they also made your stomach turn with uncertainty.

“You going to the gala tomorrow,” Dick’s asked, his grip slightly tightening.

You peered up at him through your eyelashes, “Yeah. Jay always makes me go with him since he ‘can’t handle it alone’. Are you, or do you have to work?”

Dick’s not sure why hearing that you would be attending the event with his brother hit him the way it did. It made his throat close up and his chest burn with jealousy. You had always attended Bruce’s events with Jason, and he knew that. He knows that it was purely platonic, but a part of himself couldn’t help but think there was something else there. He knows his brother is an attractive guy, and God you are the most beautiful woman to walk the earth. It only made sense for you two to be attracted to each other, and that’s what he has been running with.

“Yeah, I’m bringing a girl from work actually,” His voice was flat as he loosened his grip on you so that he was barely touching you now. It was a total lie, but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it. 

It was as if Dick punched a hole into your chest and ripped your heart out with his own two hands. Your movements froze as you blinked back the tears that instantly pricked your eyes, not wanting to give away the effect his words had on you. He was always good at reminding you that you were a disposable secret to him, but it hurt all the same every time.

Composing yourself, you flattened your hand on his chest and used it to push yourself up into a sitting position. You avoided looking at Dick as you slipped out of his bed and began putting your clothes back on. He watched you, trying to piece together what was going through your brain. He shamelessly wanted to believe it to be jealousy; that you detested the idea of another woman on Dick’s arm, but he knew better than that. He assumed you were in a hurry to get to Jason’s apartment, which is where he knew you went every time after you left his place. He had followed you one night to make sure you stayed safe, but he wasn’t prepared for his own heart to be put into danger.

That was the night he realized just how deep his feelings for you were, and it scared him to no end. He thought he was doing good at guarding his heart, but then he met you. You had effortlessly and entirely captured him. Dick craved everything about you. He craved your touch. Your smile. Your laughter. You. He would do whatever it took to have a part of you no matter how much it hurt him to know your heart would never belong to him. 

“I can’t wait to meet her,” You spoke through the awkward tension in the air, “I should probably go home to sleep before tomorrow. Don’t want to look like a walking zombie, you know.”

Your idiotic attempt at a joke hung in the air as you slipped your socks on, and you mentally slapped yourself for saying that. Wanting to get away from the now uncomfortable situation, you rushed out of his apartment without another word to the man who held your heart in his hands. Typically, you would walk to Jason’s and mope about your unfortunate situation, but you opted to go to your own apartment instead. You made sure to let Jason know of your plans so that he didn’t quite literally break into your house to make sure that you were alive. His “u ok?” text went ignored as you fell into your bed and begged your thoughts to quiet themselves so you could sleep in peace.

You woke the next morning with a new sense of determination, and a little bit of retaliation on your mind. You quickly sent Cass and Steph a text asking them to come do some last minute shopping with you, which they were more than happy to agree to. They both met you outside of your apartment an hour later, questions tumbling out of their mouth as soon as they saw you. You brushed off their interrogations with a laugh and started towards the nicer part of Gotham.

“I thought you already had a dress,” Cass pointed as you walked into one of your favorite dress shops in the fashion district.

“I do, but I always wear some variation of black and blue and I wanted to switch it up,” You shrugged as you filtered through some of the dresses on the rack.

Truthfully, you knew that the colors you always wore matched the colors that Dick wore as well. It was something that he mentioned drove him crazy whenever he managed to pull you away to have his way with you. You started wearing those colors for him specifically, but something inside you switched this morning. Today, you were going to wear something else and prayed to anyone that would listen that it would get underneath his skin. You knew it was childish, but if he was going to bring someone else, you didn’t care.

The two of them shared a knowing look with each other before diving in to help you search. They were aware of your situation with Dick and how you felt about him, but unlike you, they could see the way he felt about you. They knew that if you showed up wearing something other than the colors he wore to protect the city, he was going to be absolutely furious. However, they secretly hoped it got under his skin enough to ignite the fire he needed to tell you how he truly felt.

You had gathered a decent amount of options, so you decided to move over to the dressing room area and try what you had on. You had tried on a variation of styles and colors; none of which you liked. The girls of course gave their honest opinions, and you got rid of the ones they made faces at almost immediately. Your last pick was a long-sleeved red dress with a slit on the right side and a plunged neckline. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t help but notice the way the color looked slightly off, but it still made you look damn hot.

You opened the curtain and slowly stepped out, catching the girl's attention. “Now that’s sure going to piss Dick off,” Cass laughed, and you couldn’t help but feel like you were missing something.

“You look absolutely breathtaking, but she’s right. If your goal is to make him mad, that dress will sure make that happen,” Steph agreed as she nudged Cass to calm down, “Is that what you want?”

“Honestly, I don’t really know. At first, yes, but now I just- I’m not sure. I don’t think he’ll even notice,” You sighed, casting your eyes to the ground as you lightly pinched at the satin.

“Oh he’ll notice alright. He might beat the shit out of Jay, too.”

Your eyes darted back towards them, wide and alert. The last thing you wanted to cause any sort of fight between your best friend and man you were in love with. “Why would he do that over a dress,” You rushed out, hands nervously gripping the fabric.

“It’s not the dr- He won’t, hon. It was just a joke,” Cass recovered as she glared at Steph, “I’m sure he won’t do that. You’re just going to look really good and he’ll probably be a little jealous is all.”

You ignored Steph’s quiet snort and went back to change, making the decision to go ahead and get the dress. It was as if it was tailored specifically for your body, and not getting it would almost be criminal. You knew you were going to have to dip into your savings a little to afford the dress, but the way it looked on you was worth it. Once you had changed and went to go pay, but there was a woman standing outside the dressing room with a dress bag.

“We paid for it,” Steph peeked her head around the woman, a smile beaming on her face, “And no you can not pay us back!”

After a failed attempt at trying to get the girls to at least take some of your money, they took you back to the manor to get ready with them. Cassandra called Bruce who had Alfred ready one of the larger rooms for the three of you to get ready in. Steph put on some music as you took turns showering in the biggest shower you had seen in your entire life. You had stayed in there a little longer than you intended, getting lost in your thoughts about Dick Grayson.

You could tell that the girls were itching to ask you about why your sudden change in outfit happened, but were keeping quiet in case it was too sensitive of a topic. It was clear to them that you were trying to get back at Dick, but they couldn’t figure out why. They were both capable of asking the right questions in order to gain the information they wanted; it was a practice they put into use nearly every day. However, they felt guilty using that skill on you.

The closer the time for the event to start came, the harder it became to breathe. Knowing that Dick was bringing someone else made your entire body ache as you wondered why you weren’t good enough. He had told you before that he never liked to bring dates because people would speculate, and he only wanted them to speculate if it were true. Now, he would mingle and flirt all he wanted, but he had never kept it to one person the entire night. This girl had to be someone special if he was okay with rumors flying around.

Nearly an hour later, the sound of someone knocking broke through the intense concentration you had from doing your makeup. Steph, who was already done getting ready, pulled the door open and Jason came barreling in. He was dressed in an all black suit, but the tie he was sporting was the same color as the dress you had bought today. You internally smacked yourself for not remembering that red was Jason’s color, and that’s why the girls said what they did about Dick.

“What do you want,” Steph huffed, quickly closing the door in case anyone passed by.

“I’m bored,” Jason groaned as he fell backwards onto the untouched bed.

“So go bother someone else,” Cass spoke over her shoulder, giving Jason an annoyed glare. If you hadn’t known anny better, you would have thought she was being serious.

“Y/N’s in here and she’s my friend so why don't you go bother someone else. Anyways, we need to be down there in like twenty minutes so you two better hurry.”

“I just need to get my dress on and I’m done,” You called out as you let the setting spray settle on your face.

You heard Steph whisper something to Jason, but you were too far away for it to be understood. You went back into the bathroom where your dress was hanging on the back of the door, leaving their whispers behind.  Nerves spread through every inch of your body as you slipped the dress on,  the urge to throw up growing with each second. A large part of you wanted to back out and just not go, but you knew that Jason would physically drag you if he had to.

Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you pulled the bathroom door open and walked back out into the room. Initially, Jason cast you a passing glance, but he nearly broke his neck swiveling back to you, sitting up so quickly the momentum almost threw him off the bed. The girls had the biggest smiles on their faces and you couldn’t help but blush at the attention.

“You’re right. He might kill me,” Jason laughed as he stood and strided over to you, “You look beautiful, but if you’re trying to get under Dick’s skin. I think you’re going to accomplish that.”

“Yeah, I didn’t realize we’d be matching. I wanted to make him mad, but I don’t want to make him think this is happening,” You gestured between you and Jason as you grimaced. The thought of ever being involved with Jason like that made you uncomfortable.

“You wish it was, sweetheart,” Jason rolled his eyes, “Why do you wanna make him mad anyways?”

“Uh, he uh- Fuck,” You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration as you let the truth out, “He told me he was bringing someone else and I know it shouldn’t be a big deal but it’s just- you know why it bothers me..”

The girls looked both confused and shocked, but Jason. Jason was absolutely fuming. He already hated the way his brother treated you, but knowing that he would do something that childish made his blood boil. He knew that Dick never brought a woman to any events because he hated the rumors that accompanied that, and if Dick was willing to put up with that just to spite you? That was enough to make him see red.

“Jason,” Steph tried, sensing that he was about to boil over.

You watched as the two girls shared a look with each other as Jason tightly clenched his fists. You felt guilty for making Jason so angry, but you knew it wasn’t you that made him mad. It was his brother and his idiotic behavior, but a part of you wished that you had just kept that to yourself. You knew that he hated the way Dick was treating you and this only added fuel to that already blazing fire.

“I’m fine,” He let out through strangled breaths, “I’m good. Let’s just go downstairs.”

Dick had been downstairs for the last thirty minutes, his heart beating harder and faster the longer he waited for your arrival. Bruce could tell that he wasn’t all the way there, but chose to not ask his son what was on his mind. In fact, he already knew the answer to his own question. Dick paced the floor, eyes glancing to the door every few seconds in case you chose to make your entrance then.

He was nervous to see you after what he had said to you last night. He had no intentions of making that lie a truth, but he still felt the guilt eating away at him ever since you had left. You hadn’t texted him when you got home, and you also hadn’t texted him all day. That was how he knew that he had struck a nerve, but he was still naive as to why. He had convinced himself that there was no way you felt the same way, so why were you suddenly so distant?

You had attempted to soothe Jason’s anger by telling him it wasn’t a big deal and that you didn’t care if Dick brought someone else, but he saw right through your lies. He curtly brushed your comments off as his eyes stayed set on the path in front of him; one thing staying at the forefront of his mind.

Your heart was bound to beat out of your chest the closer you got to the party, you’re sure of that. The combination of having to see Dick and Jason’s anger towards him was not helping ease any of your already bubbling anxiety. You wrung your fingers together as you tried to calm yourself down, but it wasn’t doing much. You wanted nothing more than to turn around and leave and pretend like nothing ever happened.

Steph and Cass kept glancing at you, passing you sympathetic gazes as they walked ahead. They could practically feel the nerves radiating off of you mixed with the pure rage off of Jason. It put them on high alert, and they knew they were going to have to keep a close eye on their brothers in order to maintain some sort of peace. A silent agreement was made to keep the two of them apart until Jason got his emotions in check.

“Jason,” You tried again as you entered the party, hand instinctively gripping Jason’s bicep “Please don’t do anything stupid. It’s fine.”

Several eyes watched as you descended the stairs on Jason’s arm and you knew whispers were being thrown around thanks to the accidental matching outfits. You had, of course, been seen with Jason countless times before, but now the public had all the proof that they needed to confirm the relationship they had created in their heads.

“I never do anything stupid, sweetheart. Everything I do is calculated and on purpose,” He teased, his anger fading for a fleeting moment.

Dick found you as soon as you stepped foot into the room, but he immediately wished that he hadn’t. Your dress was a deep red color that not only matched Jason’s tie, but the helmet that adorned his head as he prowled the streets of Gotham. Dick could feel any hope that he had shatter with each step that you took, and he hated himself for it. It was his own fault.

“Dick,” Bruce’s gruff voice pulled his gaze away from you, “If there’s going to be a problem-”

“There won’t be,” He interrupted before turning on his heels and heading straight for the bar.

Cass made a beeline straight for Dick while Steph stayed relatively close to the two of you. Jason had taken a glass of champagne from the first waitress that passed by, not even letting the poor woman get four steps away before he needed another one. Your hand stayed glued to his bicep as an attempt for comfort while also keeping him near you. Just when you thought you had grown accustomed to the scrutinizing stares of Gotham’s most elite, it was ten times worse now.

“Good evening Mister Todd,” A man you recognized from The Gotham Globe approached, his annoyingly bright smile plastered on, “I see we have made the relationship official?”

“Piss off,” Jason grumbled, dragging you away from the obnoxious reporter.

Stares lingered longer than usual and whispers were present anywhere the two of you went. You tried to tune everything out, but the ache in your heart remained. You had only seen the back of Dick as he spoke with a woman; you assumed she was his date. You barely managed to fight back tears, but the thought of Jason seeing them made it a little easier to control. Despite your current suffering, you didn’t wish him any harm.

Dick didn’t mean to find you every chance that he could. He really didn’t, but it was like his own subconscious was trying to torment him. Forcing him to watch you throw your head back with laughter as you clung to his younger brother. It lit the sort of rage within him that was different from the one he got when he was dealing with the scum of Gotham. This rage was based out of fear. He needed to get out of there, at least for a moment.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom, Jay,” You had leaned up to whisper in his ear, “I might be a while, though. I just need to breathe for a little bit.”

You slipped your arm out of his own before making way towards the stairs. You had spent enough time at these events to know where and how to escape unnoticed. You were essentially being guided by pure muscle memory as you snuck into one of the rooms that was in an area off limits to guests. Your eyes were squeezed shut as you turned and leaned your head against the dark wooden door, letting out a deep sigh.

“Are you okay,” A voice you would recognize anywhere cut through the silence. You let out a startled yelp, opening your eyes to see Dick sitting on his old bed. You had, unintentionally, guided yourself to the one room you were trying to stay away from.

His eyes dragged over your body for the thousandth time tonight, but now he was able to really admire you. You looked breathtaking. Though to him, you always did. To him, you were the most beautiful woman to exist in any world, but he couldn’t help but feel annoyed. He had come here to escape the aching in his chest for a moment, but it seemed the universe wanted him to suffer.

“I’m sorry,” You finally managed to speak, albeit quietly, “I didn’t mean to come in here.”

“It’s fine. I was just leaving,” He avoided eye contact with you as he stood.

“No, don’t,” You rushed out, taking a few steps towards him, “This is your room. I’ll leave.”

The sound of your heels clicking against the hardwood floors made Dick look up and meet your gaze. Dick had spent countless hours observing you and getting to know each and every part of your body that he could tell you were nervous. He could sense the apprehension from the way you struggled to maintain eye contact to the way your fingers pinched at the fabric of your dress. He wanted nothing more than to kiss away any anxiety you had, but he knew he couldn't do that. Not anymore.

Dick’s hair was untamed in a way that looked as if he had been pulling at it, something you knew he does when he’s frustrated. His cheeks were tinged red and eyes slightly bloodshot and tired. Every nerve in your body was screaming at you to reach out to him. To let him know that you were there, but you couldn’t let him back in again. You had endured enough pain from him.

“You look beautiful,” He quietly spoke, gaze unwavering.

Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes darted across the room, “Thank you. It was a last minute change and I accidentally ended up matching with Jason, which is only fueling those stupid rumors. I should have just worn the dress I originally bought, but I-”

“Y/N,” Dick cut off your rambling, knowing you would keep going until you couldn’t breathe, “You mean that you and Jason aren’t…”

Your gaze snapped to his own at the implication, and you could see the desperation and defeat swimming in his eyes. “No, Dick. No,” You squeezed your eyes shut as you shook your head, “Nothing has changed on that front, and it never will. But even if it did, why do you care? You brought a date.”

Your voice was thick with emotion as you mentioned his alleged date, and you couldn’t stop your eyes from brimming with tears. You hated that the simple thought of him with someone else made you break, but there was no stopping that now. He took a few steps towards you and took your face in his hands as you attempted to blink back tears.

“I lied,” He whispered, thumbs wiping away at the tears that managed to break free, “I never had a date. I only said I did because I was hurt and confused. I was hurt because I’ve convinced myself that Jason is the one that you want. That he’s the guy you want to be with; not me. I know that you spend a lot of time with him so I just thought...”

Your breath caught in your throat as his words settled; your skin burning in the places his fingers pressed against. You wanted to cling onto the hope that he meant that the same way that you wanted him to, but you’re scared. You’re scared to let yourself believe the one thing he had convinced you wasn’t true. Your eyes were a tell all for Dick, and he hated the painful look in them now. He could tell you were holding back, and he knew he was the cause of that.

“I don’t want to be with Jason,” You began, voice wavering, “I spend a lot of time with him because he’s my friend and he’s there for me. He listens to me and he comforts me because I’m an idiot in love with someone who doesn’t love me back.”

Every nerve in Dicks body was telling him to let you go. He would never forgive himself if someone were to find out who he was and used you to hurt him. Jason would never forgive him. Bruce taught him that keeping someone you love far away is what will keep them the safest, but what good has that done him? He’s a gloomy man who hides his feelings with a veil of indifference. A veil any person could see through if they looked hard enough.

His silence was unnerving, so you were quick to add, “Dick, it’s okay that you don't feel the same. I’ve known that for a long time.”

“I do,” He hurried as his fingers pressed slightly harder, “I love you, and that scares me in more ways than you could ever know. I thought I knew what it was like to be in love, but then I met you and I realized that nothing has ever compared to the way I feel about you. I look at you and see the rest of my life in front of my eyes. I can’t let that go.”

The tears you were desperately trying to keep at bay flowed down your cheeks as he confessed. You had been waiting to hear him say he loved you for so long that even now, it doesn’t feel real. If it weren’t for the pressure on your cheeks from his fingers, you would have convinced yourself that you were hallucinating. That he wasn’t truly there and the few glasses of champagne you had got to your head.

You lunged forward, quickly capturing his lips with your own. He let out a low groan as he dropped his hands to your waist, pulling you into his grasp. You knotted your fists in his undoubtedly expensive button up as the two of you kissed each other like your lives depend on it. Obviously, you’ve done this particular dance with Dick before, but this was different. This was the kind of kiss that splits the sky in two and opens it up to the heavens.

You can taste the alcohol on his lips as he gently turns and guides you backwards until the backs of your thighs come in contact with the obnoxiously large desk. One of his hands moves to fumble around with the various objects scattered across the desk. His struggles cause you to lightly break away and let out an airy giggle as he works to clear the top.

“I haven’t touched this thing in years I don’t know why there’s so much shit on it,” He mumbled against your lips, “Oh fuck it.”

He shoved everything onto the ground and hoisted you up onto the now empty desk, and you couldn’t help but throw your head back in laughter at how cliché that was. “Calm down, hotshot. You’re going to attract an audience with that noise.”

He gripped your chin, forcing you to meet his dark, lustful gaze, “Let them watch then.”

The pool between your legs grew, aching for any sort of friction to ease the desire that had blossomed inside of you. You were desperate for a release, so you pulled him in by the back of his neck and met his lips in a blinding kiss. Dick gripped the underside of your thigh, pulling you flush against his body. Your fingers pulled and tugged at his hair and suddenly he's kissing you harder with a fervent desire that left you utterly breathless.

“Dick,” You pulled away, “If you don’t stop kissing me like that, you’re going to have to fuck me.”

Dick was slightly stunned at your bluntness, but it just made him even more attracted to you; something he did not think was possible. “Not that I don’t want to, but I don’t want you to think that was all I wanted from you,” He whispered, his eyes dancing all across your face as if he was memorizing every inch of it, “Trust me, I really really want to. I also want to do things right with you and I know I’ve been fucking it up for the last few months.”

“Who knew you were such a softie,” You teased, “But now is not the ti-”

You were cut off by Jason’s voice bouncing off the hallway walls as he called your name. You instantly shoved yourself off of the desk and began to straighten your dress. Dick let you push him away from you, his heart constricting as he let himself go back to what he thought previously. You looked behind you and you could tell that he was upset.

“Hey,” You started, cupping his cheek in your hand, “Don’t do that. It isn’t like that at all, okay? I just know that he is extremely pissed off at you right now and I want to do a little damage control first. I promise you I will come over later and we can do whatever you want.”

“Can you stay with me tonight,” He pleaded, taking your other hand in his own, “Stay with me as my girlfriend.”

He felt cheesy saying that, but he didn’t care. Not when it came to you, and especially not when he got to see the most beautiful smile that came after it. You heard Jason’s footsteps getting closer, so you have Dick one last kiss before quickly leaving his room. 

“Y/N,” Jason called out, “Were you in Dick’s room?”

“Can we go talk somewhere? I need to tell you something and I don’t think doing it in public is wise.”

let me know what you guys think! if you want, you can also send in some requests ;)

[isawken]

disco elysium and transmasculinity:

i don't want to be this kind of animal anymore

there is no such thing as an inherently masculine trait, only those which we have culturally prescribed to be masculine. muscular, tall, strong, stoic. self-destructive. repressive. angry. unhinged. violent. addictive.

Disco Elysium markets itself with the tagline “what kind of cop are you?”. to put it bluntly: you get to choose what man you want to be. the actual gameplay mechanic is the game keeps track of your dialogue choices and, among other RPG things, neatly divvies them up into 4 main Cop Categories: Sorry Cop, Apocalypse Cop, Superstar Cop, Boring Cop. after some time establishing your identity you can branch off into 3 other copotypes: honor cop, art cop, and hobocop. These are all exactly what you think they would be.

a supremacist stands tall, immovable, shirtless, tattooed, in the way of one of your objectives, and if you let him he will tell you all the ways your body betrays your degeneracy. all the indulgences you make, with drugs and alcohol and sex, are allegedly clear as day written across your reddened swollen face. you are not a man. you are pathetic. a pair of women reassure his divine masculinity even when he admits his impotence. there’s no denying it: that’s one man of a man right there.

your former detective partner is an eternally scowling pockmark faced asshole. he approaches every interaction with you with a nice solid baseline of aggression. if you choose to put your points into something called “espirit de corps”, you get small vignettes of his previous actions. in one of them, it’s joked that you two are near-marital in your relationship. in some of them, he worries about you. muttering under his breath, mostly to himself, not unkindly. but he certainly never shows that to you face to face. 

two old men play pétanque outside every day by the sea. they have done this for years. they have known each other since they were kids. one is a fascist, the other a democratic socialst. if you’re nosy, you can go to the watchman’s post and find a picture of him, his socialist buddy, and a young woman whose attentions they supposedly both vied for. if you decide to become a fascist, the game gives you something more. your abilities Pain Threshold, Composure, Endurance, Volition, Conceptualization, and Inland Empire take turns showing you tiny slices of a truth viciously stamped beneath the heel of his brilliant boot. a love for his dear hated socialist. and when he dies, that socialist tells you the same. but they never told each other. never even came close. because how could you?

harry dubois wakes up face down ass up covered in piss and vomit and full of foggy confusion after drinking himself into amnesia. he's tall, he's got giant arms, a proud beer gut, and he's self-destructed himself into literal oblivion. this pitiful bastard doesn't even remember his own name. the first person he encounters outside of the hotel room in which he fucked himself up beyond his limbic system’s reach tells him at some point during his bingeful weekend she heard him scream, "i dont want to be this kind of animal anymore". you don’t know why you said this. but after a while you have some pretty good guesses.

i could talk forever about the unique circumstances of growing up as a girl in modern western society. but i have nothing interesting to say that hasn't already been said much more eloquently. learning to hate my body, learning to be afraid, learning that you need to want to be consumed. the eternal unpacking of all the issues a patriarchal society burdens you with. it never ends. but i've at least reached a point where i've done my base legwork. i know the oppression i've fought. it is nameable. i have labeled each and every patriarchal burden like a so many papers in a filing cabinet. few are going in the shredder, but at least they're known. next to that filing cabinet, i have a big pile of loose papers slowly sliding off a desk with the word "masculinity" in neon lights flickering above them. i want to dive into those papers. but the thought of it fills me with such apprehension. i've always wanted masculinity. i've purposefully adopted affectations to make myself more stereotypically masculine. most are hilariously shallow, and not exactly innovative. i smoked camels for 8 years. i drink my coffee black. i picked up a nice little alcohol habit. i've shoved down more feelings than i would ever willingly admit in the hopes to appear unbothered. I’ve told myself to “man the fuck up” my fair share of times. none of it got rid of my hips or my tits or my anxiety or my painfully high pitched voice. i’ve quit smoking. i sometimes think i should start again for many reasons, but one is in the hope that my voice will drop. just one octave. at least. it’s silly, i know. believe me. i know.

when harry drags his sorry ass out of that hotel room, he isn't free of his past. he has shadows in his mind reminding him of the things he's forgotten. shadows that still influence his views of masculinity. there is no way to truly escape the bitter leaden paint stuck to the inside of your mind so violently applied by our beloved patriarchal society. there is a hilarious dialogue option where, if you so choose, you can proclaim that you would never let anyone androgynous touch your hair. because the “others” (unnamed) would laugh at you. here we have a man who cant remember his own name, but he is certain that he absolutely cannot under any circumstances have a non-manly haircut for fear of mockery and rejection by his peers. how many coats of that leadened paint must have adhered to his poor, poor limbic system that even when he’s forgotten the concept of money, he still knows about the boundaries of masculinity.

 as harry tries to be a good person (or a fascist or a doom prophet or a disco superstar) he cannot really shake the pieces of himself that make him him. and he meets another bastion of masculinity, kim kitsuragi immeasurably measured, willful, and kind (for a cop), he helps you rediscover the world around you as you try to rewrite your tabula rasa'd self. he is firm, but nice. he lets you make your choices and mistakes. and he only stops supporting you when you start fucking up like, literally everything, and indulging in racism. naturally, there is a lot of fanart of them kissing, and yearning. both are beacons of masculinity, different sides of the same coin. where harry is physically imposing, kim is slight. where kim is calm cool and collected, harry will break down crying after a brief conversation with his necktie. but both are undeniably masculine. i mean, they’re cops after all. what more masculine profession is there?

as kind as kim is to you in your lowest possible state, it can be easy to overlook the ways in which he is not kind. when you tell him you think you really, seriously, need to go to the hospital, seriously kim i can't even remember my name i think i could have brain damage, kim responds with the equivalent of "walk it off" by encouraging you to start working on the case and see if that makes you feel better instead. it is in this light that you recognize which affectations of his are conscious posturing. his fitted jacket and trousers, matching the uniforms worn by air brigades in a past war. his careful collection of tools he keeps in his beloved kineema. his vast knowledge and care for the car itself. looked at in a certain different light- you know the one- you could see these traits being the result of a very careful construction. he found pieces of overt masculinity and decided to subsume them as a defense. a bolstering, a reinforcement of chosen masculinity.

there are so many different flavors of masculinity that the game offers you to experience and explore yourself. you decide whether to value them. you can follow in mister phenology’s footsteps and try to build yourself into a supremacist ideal. maybe that will make you happy. you can also chase after a barely-coded homosexual man, who makes you stutter in most available dialogue options. even if that may make you happy, you don’t get to pursue it. you can think for 20 hours about the "homosexual underground", but you can't join it yourself. you can however join fascism. interesting how harry is more susceptible to fascism than homosexuality. interesting to prod and poke at his masculine limits.

“what kind of cop are you” is a loaded question. harry is rebuilding himself from the ground up as a man. and how funny is it to learn that is inextricable from his profession.

what do you find inextricable from your gender? what of those traits make you happy? what of those traits make you want to throw your fucking shoe through a god damn window and punch the bathroom mirror and scream and scream and scream and scream?

i want to emerge from a hotel room, at my lowest point, and have the power to rebuild myself from scratch. i want a cool man who i maybe want to kiss guide me with a gentle yet firm hand. i want to have large arms, and a proud beer gut, and a stupid beard, and i want to destroy a hotel room and drink myself into a beautifully tragic state. i want to have non-political body hair. i want to get stared at for my gaudy tie and green snakeskin shoes instead of my tits. i want become a different kind of animal.

[drivestraight]

good morning val drivestraight I have a question for you... can you sell me on lestappen. I follow you for general attitude swag and don't really follow many max blogs (I actually found your blog after that omega George fic lol) but I feel like you of all people could make the greatest ship primer. mostly I'm not very into it bc I feel like the shared history part of it gets overblown by fandom compared to other ships, and they're friendly enough these days that I can't get hatesex vibes form it + Max comes across as really well adjusted and kind of an homeboy. so I'm like what's the hook? what do you like? what's YOUR platonic perfect idea of lestappen? I want to follow u down this road 

omg what an honor...

this isn't much of a ship primer but mostly about me talking about why i like them if that's okay <3

i agree that we overplay their shared history, but it also provides a really nice backdrop for everything they are now. they've always been in each other's lives but in a peripheral sense. and it's that sort of distanced familiarity that is compelling to me. also the potential for intense physicality despite their inability to communicate like normal people. that's the hook to me: they are in each other's orbit but they never have been close. but then you get to the racing: and when it comes to the racing, they've really given some great battles. and that alone isn't enough. it's like - combined with who they are off the track: childhood rivals turned awkward work friends, the fact that they can race that hard and that they respect one another so much is just. so good. sometimes it feels like they can predict each other's moves. like silverstone/austria 19 (yes, mentioned to hell) and bahrain/saudi 22, the w2w there went crazy. and once again, this with everything else: that they have this one place and this one medium for them to communicate at such a high level, and are just so awkward everything else is very good. lewis and seb who have said in the past that max goes over the limit too much, while charles has always said with max, it's always on the limit and never above. obviously things might change if they ever get into a real title fight against one another, but i think they have such great foundations that it will be compelling no matter what. also they've lowkey like stood the test of time: look at how people characterized them in 2019 and how they characterize them today. they've changed so much and their relationship has changed so much but still, both of them are at two top teams, they have found each other again in f1.

also aesthetically, the red/blue of it all is really nice. and just like. They look good together. yknow

they also like. say crazy things about each other sometimes. "i will remember it all my life" / "i know max very very well" / etc. etc.

my perfect platonic idea of lestappen Is Not one where they're best friends and where max is his number 1 defender - because he is not, as many people would have you believe (everyone clipping moments from cooldown rooms and quotes from interviews are putting it out of context and putting words in max's mouth and twisting things weirdly), and because that's frankly so uncompelling and kind of pathetic to think that charles needs max to praise him/defend him for him to have any worth as a racer etc. etc. i could go on about this for ages but i won't. tldr max doesn't care enough to do that.

IN FIC my favorite lestappen is basically: an awkward lestappen who like each other so much and can't actually communicate it properly in any way that isn't physical. but maybe the physicality and the shared history and the racing can be enough.

[chemical-underreaction]

dirk <3< reader dirk <3< reader dirk <3< reader PLEASE

sure thing!! <3 sorry if this wasn't exactly what you wanted, but i had a lot of fun writing this!!

DIRK STRIDER X READER (PITCH) HEADCANONS (*´∇`)┌θ☆(ﾉ>_<)ﾉ

alright, let's be clear. dirk strider does *not* hate many things. he dislikes things, of course. he dislikes a lot of things.

but hate? hating things is too emotionally vulnerable for his tastes.

oh, but you?

he can make some exceptions for you.

you are a special, particular kind of pain in his ass.

there's two very different reasons why (i think) dirk would hate someone.

either they, as a person are in entirely direct conflict with him and get on his nerves in a major way - or, they're way too similar to him, and dirk does not like getting a mirror to his own behavior.

so more than likely, you'd fit into one of those two categories. i don't know you, though.

but regardless of what it is, you probably wouldn't have known for a while.

he didn't treat you.. differently? per say?

he was cold and cryptic and strange to everyone.

but with you, it seemed different. everyone told you it was just in your head. that dirk didn't have a problem with you, he was just like that.

but it was not.

dirk took so much pleasure in confusing you, getting one over on you. playing his little mind games.

granted, he is just kind of like that, but it's different. it was a lot more targeted, pointed - it wasn't purely in jest.

but, more importantly, it wasn't onesided.

you were not just a passive actor in this, oh no.

whatever you did, it was equally targeted to get on his nerves as much as possible.

there came a point where both of you, just for the sake of your fucked up little game, knew more about each other than even your mutual best friends did.

you'd torment each other with things, but you'd never bring anyone else into it or tell anyone things only the two of you knew. there was something of a code of honor. a trust fall system.

despite how much you disliked each other, you'd never actually do tangible harm to each other.

you just engaged in a prolonged battle of psychological warfare over your chat client.

eventually, it gets.. bizarrely flirtatious. not in a traditional way, no, but in a way that was still undeniably flirting.

you still hated him. he still hated you.

it continued regardless.

you two never.. officially got into a pitch relationship.

you're both human, after all. how would you know?

however, eventually, you were informed that your relationship with dirk sounded a whole hell of a lot like blackrom.

so, of course, you approach him about it.

neither of you know *enough* about quadrants to really call it.

but all the trolls have just been assuming it anyways, so you just shrug. by now, it's calling it what it is.

you and dirk have the mutual respect necessary for blackrom. and the mutual attraction.

needless to say, you have the "hate" aspect down.

alright, miscellaneous hc time.

he'll offer to teach you how to swordfight. he might only have done it so he could rock your shit, but he'll always patch you up after. and that little smile he gives when you first managed to get him back was pretty genuine.

just enjoys teaching you how to do his stuff in general. he'll tease you about sucking at it, but he'll actually be happy when you make progress. curse his tiny soft spot.

shows up in your house/wherever you live at random. also likes sneaking up on you whenever he sees you. the more you hate it, the more he'll do it.

he'll claim that you're more attracted to him than he is you - but that's a total lie. he's a little pathetic sometimes.

gets very flustered when you're better at him than something. anything. literally anything at all. why, exactly.. good luck getting that out of him.

actually gets genuinely upset if he goes too far with you in any way. it'll mess with him a lot, and he'll apologize profusely.

he cares about you, despite how annoying you are. despite how much he hates you, despite all of it. he cares about you a lot. and, in his own weird way, loves you.

[dizzybizz]

I need your Sampard headcanons, if you have none that’s cool ignore this ask, BUT IF YOU DO LEGALLY YOU HAVE TO SHARE THEM

anon- i don't think you know what you've signed up for with this ask

my headcanons are all incomprehensible to myself so o7

this is brain rot at its full saturation..........

gepard being honest to a fault and that flustering tf out of sampo..., , , , 🥺

like,, sampo will jokingly make a silly comment about gepard liking him and gepard will respond with something like "of course i do? why wouldn't i??"

it's a constant cycle: sampo joking -> gepard responding honestly -> sampo getting flustered -> it hits gepard after some confusion that it was in fact a joke -> and they're both useless and flustered together, absolute losers <3 -> repeat

anyone being genuine and nice to sampo would destroy him

he'd crumble

like- he'd collapse like a house of cards in a gust of wind

they're both touch starved and clingy but really awkward about it

"i need to cuddle so bad!! but i would sooner die than be the one to suggest it!!!!!!"

they get over it once they realize it's a mutual feeling

then it's just collapsing on eachother whenever

i kinda just want them to cry and have a breakdown together, cry and hug it out and just like talk

they both need a good cry,,, 🙏

gepard. yotasuke takahashi. just saying things that sound so romantic without so much as a glance at the other person,,, like:

sampo asks serval to please talk to her brother about thinking before speaking, she leaves him on read

idk what to tell you, they're just losers

they're that "relationships should be 50/50, he cooks us dinner and i sit on the kitchen counter and look pretty" post

sampo entering the kitchen: what's cookin', good-lookin'

sampo gets gepard one of those "kiss the cook" aprons

they're the kind of couple where they're seeing eachother through a shoujo romance lens but to outsiders they're just so unbelievably unbearable

can't flirt to save their lives.

i really just imagine them to be the biggest losers together, they're made for eachother, they're pathetic, they're disasters

them:

gepard runs cold!! sampo can't stand it!!!

who's the big spoon and little spoon? yes

pet names? pet names.

sampo uses them obnoxiously and calls gepard everything he can come up with

darling, babe, baby, sweetie, cutie pie, angel, my little captain, hotstuff, handsome, my one and only, knight in shining armor, prince,,, etc

gepard just defaults to calling him honey or something

gepard names one of his plants koski

sampo is very honored

but also so worried, considering gepard's track record with the lifespan of his plants

he makes it his mission to keep koski alive

sampo loves pulling on gepard's cheeks

[sourbinnie]

2:23

[ i owe you a black eye (and two kisses) ] alternative thoughts #1 ✉ | jisung x gn!reader

warnings -> cuts + bruises + implicit violence + drug use mention

"tell me again why you did this." i mumbled softly to him as i grabbed the bandages tying them up. his knuckles were bruised, shiny violet as his face was torn apart with cuts & bruises. he didn't have to say anything when he arrived at my house for me to know that this wasn't an accident. there was well known intention behind his actions and the black eye that he received. he hated the pain but loved the thrill of it all. he enjoyed defending the little honor he had left in him.

"they talked shit about my family, you know how i get." he said as he shivered, did i mention his clothes were torn? in the middle of the rain too. it was a tragic scene from a tale that would never end well but here i was to love the loser in front of me unconditionally. 

"i know but that doesn't mean you have to throw a punch when you're not the best at fighting." i kept mumbling as i was concentrated, cleaning the bruises on his face with alcohol. he shaked at the harsh feeling that it provoked on his skin but i needed to clear it before it got bad.

"i don't think you understand how much it stings right now. being here in front of you looking like this." he whispered but i heard completely even through the sound of the hail hitting on the roof. i finished cleaning up to put on a fresh bandage on his cheek and then i looked at him again as i didn't this whole time since i was so focused before. 

"let me get you something warmer." i said as i got up but his hand met my wrist and stopped me from going to the bedroom. "jisung i-".

"i love you." he said directly and firmly to me. i could not understand where this was coming from or why the anger was still there when his sweet words striked to my heart. "i'm sorry".

"you don't have to say sorry, you have to learn from this. i can't always save you jisung." i said and i stood my ground. it wasn't okay to do these things even if they're the reason that made me fall for him harder in a fucked up way. i knew it wasn't just his family, i knew he did this because of me. he didn't like hearing the nasty comments some people made about me and he had to get in the situation, take full control. thinking he could do something like pick up a fight and get away with it. "i love you too..."

the silence was loud but the sound of my heartbeat was louder. i was rushing through all of the emotions, having him right there, the delinquent (literally) that stole my heart. i was never the best at choosing the people i loved but this time i really thought that he was the one even if sometimes i did wanna kill him with the decisions he took.

he placed a peck on my lips and then it deepened into a bittersweet kiss. i wanted to stay in that moment forever as i tried to maintain it but had to catch my breath. one eye looking at me as the other one was covered with the eyepatch, still was the sweetest look with those romantic eyes. 

"i'm sorry, i really am. i know how much you hate this." he said and i just shook my head. 

"can't take your apologies because that's not true. the jisung i fell for is the criminal, stealer of convenience stores and throwing punches where he shouldn't. thinking he could handle drugs like his friends but in reality, showing up to my house with a bloody nose. you really think you're tough and it's pathetic but i like it that way. i don't want a fairytale novel but i also don't want you dead." 

he nodded at my words and leaned in on my shoulder as i put the things back in the first aid kit. i sighed as i placed back on the bathroom cabinet and looked at him again. he truly was no good.

"i promise i'll try to make things better." he said

but we both knew, he was lying

[hairstevington]

flowers and ink (part 3)

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Eddie makes up an excuse to get closer to Steve, and it works...eventually! Part one, part two

Word count: 2.5K

Warnings: Tattoo Artist!Eddie/Florist!Steve, platonic soulmates Robin and Steve, Eddie thinks they're dating, miscommunication trope but it's resolved by the end, THEY ARE IDIOTS YOUR HONOR, Steve is a sweetheart, the fluffiest of fluff

A/N: This was originally supposed to be the "ending," but I might end up continuing it if people are interested in seeing where it goes - either here or on Ao3! Otherwise, I do have more Steddie content coming soon no matter what. At this point I'm in too deep to quit. Thanks all!

Eddie scanned the room in search of any sort of inspiration. 

“Sure, what’s up?” Steve asked, nonchalant. 

Flowers. There were just flowers everywhere. That’s all Eddie had to go on. Okay, flowers it is.

“So, this woman came by the other day and she wants this whole sleeve of flowers, right? But, like, I don’t do flowers very often. So I’m gonna practice drawing flowers a lot these next few weeks while I’m nailing down the design, and I guess I, uhhhh, was thinking maybe I could look around here and take some notes or something?”

Lies. All of it. LIES. 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Steve said. “You can hang around here as long as you want. Or, until we close, anyway.”

“Which is in fifteen minutes,” Robin reminded her coworker. 

“Oh. Shit, yeah,” Steve chuckled. “You can hang around for fifteen minutes, then.” Eddie smiled and nodded. 

“I’ll take it.”

Then, of course, Eddie had to walk around and examine the flowers as if he actually gave a shit about them, which he didn’t. He was far more interested in the man behind the counter, but whatever. This would do. 

He had fifteen minutes to figure out what he was going to do at closing time. Maybe, if he played his cards right, he could get an invite to hang out with them after. Although, did he really want to be a third wheel? Was all of this just pathetic?

Probably. 

“Hold on, your hair is still a little messed up,” Steve said to Robin. They both giggled softly, and Eddie rolled his eyes. 

Definitely pathetic. Eddie drifted farther into the back so he couldn’t hear them whispering to each other anymore. 

Flowers were nice. Eddie didn’t have anything against them, he just wasn’t drawn to them like a lot of people seemed to be. They were a bit too pretty for his taste. Too delicate. He took a couple pictures (to really sell his bullshit cover story), and before he knew it, it was closing time. 

Eddie walked back up to the front to join Steve and Robin, ready to say the line he’d been preparing the last fourteen and a half minutes. Is it cool if I drop by tomorrow to keep looking around?

Steve spoke before Eddie could ask his question, stunning him momentarily. 

“Hey, so I was thinking if any more questions come up, you could just text me. You know, if you want.”

-

“Hold on, your hair is still a little messed up.”

“Oh my god, fix it!”

“I’m trying! Stay still!” 

Steve brushed through Robin’s hair with his fingers, smoothing down the strands that were sticking out. He caught her looking at him, then glancing in Eddie’s direction, then back at him. 

“Whatever you’re about to say, don’t,” Steve warned. 

“He came here for you,” she whispered to Steve. “With lotion!”

“We were just talking about it at the shop earlier,” Steve dismissed. “He probably is just making fun of me for using the wrong kind.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Robin muttered. “He likes you.”

“Shh!” Steve’s eyes went wide. Eddie wasn’t that far away, even though they were speaking quietly. Suddenly, Steve remembered what he’d learned about Eddie, and that he hadn’t told Robin yet. “Okay, look. Maybe you’re right.”

“I am,” she insisted.

“Fine,” Steve conceded. “So, he told me that -” Steve stopped himself and looked around the room to double check that Eddie was as far from them as possible. He went the charade route anyway. 

Steve looked at her intensely until she was completely focused. He pointed vaguely in the direction of where Eddie went, and then used the same hand to flip his wrist downwards with an emphatic nod. Robin’s eyes went wide. 

“Shut up,” she said. “Confirmed?”

“Out, proud, and mentoring the youth,” Steve replied. “Oh, and Will Byers was there.”

“What?!” 

“Shh!” 

Robin collected herself again so she could resume whispering. 

“You need to ask him out.” Her voice was barely audible now. 

“I don’t know how.”

“You’ve done it a bazillion times, Dingus,” she reminded him. “What makes this any different?”

“I don’t know!” Steve admitted with a shrug. “He’s so much cooler and smarter than me, and it’s, like, really intimidating.”

“Steve, we have to work on your self confidence,” Robin sighed. 

“You tease me all the goddamn time, Buckley.”

“I’m allowed,” she said. “You’re not.” Steve rolled his eyes but accepted the feedback. 

“I’ll do it, okay?”

He knew he needed to sound casual about it, in case he was reading it wrong. Just because Eddie was gay didn’t mean he was interested. But! If they talked more, Steve could flirt a little and then know for sure. 

So, when Eddie came back at 5pm, Steve took the leap. 

“Hey, so I was thinking if any more questions come up, you could just text me.” Steve watched Eddie freeze, and Steve had no idea what to do with that. He backtracked immediately. “You know, if you want.”

“Yeah, sure,” Eddie responded after a few moments. Steve wasn’t sure how to read Eddie’s hesitation.

“Cool,” Steve responded. He could practically feel Robin’s judgment from a few feet away, even without looking at her. He snapped himself out of his trance and grabbed a pen and one of the Flowers for All business cards, then flipped it over on the counter to the blank side. 

“You could just -” Eddie said, holding his phone up. “Use this, you know.”

“Oh, duh,” Steve said, mentally kicking himself. He took Eddie’s phone and put his number in, then handed it back. “There you go.”

“Thanks,” Eddie responded. Steve figured if Eddie wasn’t interested, he just wouldn’t reach out. No harm done. “Have a good rest of your night, guys.”

“We will,” Robin answered, knowing that Steve was obviously incapable of acting normal. “Stop by any time, okay?”

“Okay, thanks,” Eddie repeated. He did a small wave and then left the store with nothing but the residual jingle from the bell above the door. 

Steve immediately slunk to the floor and sat against the wall. 

“Not one word,” he said. 

“That was painful.”

“That was three words.”

“You didn’t ask him out!”

“Yeah, well I’m getting there! I got his number, didn’t I?”

“Barely!” she replied with a laugh. “But he’s totally into you. I can tell.”

“Oh yeah? How?”

“Because he came here with lotion and then stuck around to look at flowers when the internet exists,” Robin explained. 

Huh. She has a point.

“Fair enough,” Steve sighed. “I guess now we just wait and see if you’re right.”

-

Eddie was obviously going to text Steve, but he had no idea what to say. He really dug himself into a hole with the flower research thing. 

Also, what the fuck was that about? What flower-related questions could Eddie possibly have? Why would Eddie text Steve for flower advice when the internet exists? What does flower advice even mean? He typed out his first draft -

Hi, it’s Eddie. Thanks for helping me out :) 

Ok, boring. He tried again. 

Hi, it’s Eddie. Texting so you have my number too

Could be better. 

What’s your favorite flower?

Oh god! No! Delete! Delete!

This was hopeless.

-

“He hasn’t texted yet,” Steve whined.

“It’s only been three hours,” Robin replied. 

They were doing their post-shift hang out, like usual. They had some stupid reality TV show on in the background that both of them hated but for some reason loved watching together. 

“It’s felt like twelve,” Steve groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. 

“It’s felt like a hundred for me, with you constantly complaining about it,” Robin responded, shoving him lightly. 

“Hey, this was your doing, alright?” Steve shot back, smirking. “He’s not interested, and that’s okay.” He was trying to convince himself more than anything. 

“Patience, grasshopper,” Robin assured him. “Don’t lose hope yet.”

Steve’s phone buzzed on the table. They both lunged for it, desperately checking the notification. 

A text from an unknown number. 

Am I allowed to ask you questions that aren’t about flowers?

“Robin, I love you.”

-

Sure, what do you wanna know? 🙂

Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. Eddie sat down and pondered what question he should ask first. 

Why frog and toad?

Eddie was far more comfortable talking about tattoos. Steve responded -

Just seemed right, I guess.

Ugh, okay. Eddie forgot he sucked at texting. 

Do you regret it?

He waited a minute or two until his phone lit up again. 

No, not at all. We love it. 

Eddie sighed. He didn’t know what to say next. 

I’m not good at the text thing

Steve’s response showed up moments later. 

Guess you’ll have to come visit us again then ;) 

Okay, well that works.

-

Eddie showed up the next day on one of his breaks, pretended to look at some more flowers as if they’d changed from the day before, and then struck up a conversation with Steve about tattoos. Then, he dropped by on another break a few days later, skipping the flower part completely and jumping straight into talking about music. 

“So, how’s the flower design going?” Steve asked after their discussion died down. 

“It’s good,” Eddie said. “I’m just not really a flowers guy, is all.” Steve gasped and pretended to be shocked. 

“You? Not into flowers??” Eddie chuckled. “I didn’t think I was either, but I actually love it here. Maybe if you keep coming by you’ll change your tune.”

“Yeahhhh, I’m not so sure about that,” Eddie replied. 

“Oh, I am,” Steve challenged playfully. “There’s a flower for everyone - that’s literally why this place is called Flowers for All.”

“Oh god,” Eddie teased. “This isn’t gonna become a thing where you try to get me to like flowers, is it?” Steve smirked and bent down so his forearms rested on the counter. 

“Hey, man. You got me into tattoos, I’m just returning the favor.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. Yeah, it was cute, but he knew that it was a doomed mission. 

Steve tried anyway. Each day, when Eddie showed up for work, a new flower was left at the front door. 

First, it was a daisy. 

Steve: Well?

Eddie: It's pretty. I'm not a huge fan of yellow tho

Steve: Noted

On day two, a carnation.

Eddie: are you trying to take me to prom?

Steve: maybe (just kidding we missed it)

Eddie: lmao

Then, there was a succulent. 

Eddie: I actually really like this one

Steve: Success!

Eddie thought that would be the end of it. But then, on the fourth day, a gardenia was at the door. 

Eddie: more???

Steve: are you a flower guy yet?

Eddie: No, but I’m running out of room on my desk

Steve: Better get another desk then

At this point, Eddie thought for sure Steve was messing with him. Maybe that’s all this ever was. Robin kept saying over and over how bored they were at work, and Eddie was their current source of entertainment. 

He gave the flowers to Bob - except the succulent, for obvious reasons. Eddie named him Sonic.

On day 5, Eddie found a red rose dipped in black ink on his desk. Bob had apparently already let Steve in to set it up. Eddie would have groaned in frustration, except the stupid thing was actually extremely badass. Like, he thought it was so cool he was sad it was going to wilt eventually.

Fuck. This had to stop. 

Eddie marched into Flowers for All, rose in hand, ready to tell Steve that he didn’t just want to be some project for the happy couple. 

“Heyyy, look who’s here!” Steve greeted him as he walked in. Steve’s face fell when he noticed Eddie holding the rose. “Uh-oh, you hated this one so much you’re returning it? I really thought -”

“I didn’t hate it, I love it. It's - I mean, it's perfect.”

“Okay,” Steve said, hopping off the counter. “So, why do you look angry at me?”

“Are you guys making fun of me or something?” Eddie asked. No time for small talk. No beating around the bush. They’d been tip-toeing around this for over a week now. 

“What?” Steve asked, genuinely shocked. “Dude, no. I - shit, okay. No, I’m not making fun of you, I’m trying to flirt with you. Guess I’ve lost my touch.” Steve put a hand to the back of his neck and grimaced nervously. 

“Flirt with me?” Now Eddie was the shocked one. “So, you’re not dating Robin?”

Steve burst out laughing.

“Robin? My platonic lesbian best friend Robin?”

Eddie’s head was spinning. 

“Platonic?” he echoed. “After the way you two tumbled out of the back room all flustered and shit the first time I came in?”

“That’s absolutely not what you think it was,” Steve said. 

“Then what was it?”

“It was - okay, well first of all, I was flustered because you came in. And Robin and I were back there because her hair somehow got tangled in a watering can and she needed my help.”

It sounded like a lie, but it would have been the most random lie ever created.

“Jesus, how did that even happen?” Eddie wondered, amused.

“Robin has zero coordination,” Steve responded. “It’s part of her charm.” Eddie nodded, processing all of this.

“Okay, so you’re not dating Robin,” he said.

“No.”

“And you’ve been flirting with me.”

“Yes.”

“Completely genuinely, like not as a joke?” Steve chuckled.

“Eddie, I tipped you like a full day's worth of pay for our tattoo,” he reminded him. “If I was joking, I’d have to be stupidly committed to the bit.”

Okay, well that was…fair.

“Oh,” Eddie replied. Wow. I really am an idiot.

“Yeah,” Steve said. There was a moment where they both just kinda stared at each other, and then Eddie broke the silence.

“You do realize I’ve been flirting with you too, right?” he asked. Steve just stared at him blankly. “Okay, from the way you’re looking at me I’m gonna go with no on that one.”

“I mean, I was hoping you were-”

“I am.”

“Great.”

“Cool.”

“So, we should go out then.”

“Yeah, that seems like a logical next step.”

They smiled at each other, basking in the absurdity, and then suddenly a piercing voice came from Steve’s phone on the counter.

“FINALLY.”

“Wait, is that Robin?” Eddie asked, pointing at the phone.

“Oh, yeah,” Steve responded. “I was talking to her when you came in.”

Eddie shook his head and laughed.

Well, at least they were both idiots.

(part 4)

____________________

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[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Round 1 Side A

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Franky x Robin:

Do I really need to explain?

The old married couple who's healthy, Enies Lobby (and all their appearances) are their propaganda really.

It’s all about the maturity!

Their dynamic is perfect and their pasts are so similar. I love the chemistry between them as well as their introduction that helped build the connection and shared history they already have.

they are THE t4t bi4bi ship | franky telling robin "existing is not a crime" immediately puts this at number one for me | they are opposites (bright and loud + quiet and goth) but also they're both so eccentric and silly <3 | THEY WEAR MATCHING OUTFITS

Mom and dad Straw Hat

They are STILL the Mom and the Dad of the Straw Hats, this is the one thing I don't care what Oda says <3 Also their interactions in Enies Lobby and Thriller Bark are amazing.

In my eyes, they are married. Some of my favorite character interactions in the manga/anime and in official art.

Oda had Franky call Robin his wife at least once

Your honor they’re married

I'M GOING TO PUT LINKS IN MY EXAMPLES (Mod note: I linked to the whole post, the propaganda was going to get too long otherwise. But I will copy this line:...) They immediatly clicked in Enies Lobby, Franky saved Robin with both words and actions ("Your existence is not a sin!"), and then she grabbed his balls.

The duality of two kids who were just trying to chase their dream and having circumstances outside their control (the government) take everything they love away from them, but one choosing solitude and the other adopting every other person in a bad circumstance??? I love them. Plus they literally had couple moments from the first interaction.

The ultimate t4t couple idk what else you need theyre iconic

A wholesome ship of a woman who feels the need to be constantly on edge trying to relax and a man who is a 110% himself from the moment we see him. the joy of frobin is the causal domesticity, in many color spreads and especially post timeskip we can see them casually enjoying the others company.

Remember when Franky was in Chopper's body in Punk Hazard and every time he spoke Robin was like "Franky. Stop talking. Do not talk while you're in Chopper's body."

idk like. he's obsessed with her. she's his weird Goth gf and he's her himbo. they have matching outfits. I love them.

Look. It's Franky and Robin. Literally the only two characters that make sense to ship on the Sunny. Their arcs are inextricably intertwined (water7/enies lobby). Also LOOK AT THEM interacting, both during their arcs, but also thriller bark, or post time skip. I love them. Also robin crushed frankys balls.

funny big robot man & analytical smart research lady power couple... silly x smart... himbo x researcher... augh... so good

They are the ship for taxpaying adults your honor I LOVE them they’re literally freak4freak and they share such a fucking powerful arc together (Water 7).

that moment she let him sleep on her lap in punk hazard was sooo cute <3 -- The matching thigh highs and bottoms in film z can NOT be understated. -- Strawhat mom and dad -- Let's not forget the way robin convinced franky to join ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) -- she also indirectly called his balls "treasure" so,,, -- the way their stories are so closely intertwined...they were both keys to destroy the world...the way they instantly connected over that...the soulmate-ism of it all...

they . them. girlboss and malewife. that's it.

She grabbed his balls. He totally liked it.

He's so silly and she loves it. She's so scary and he loves it. She grabbed his balls in public.

They will be endgame trust me. Franky doesn't treat any other girl like he treats Robin. There dynamic in Water 7 and Thriller Bark was and always will be one of the best in all of OP.

Propaganda for Johnny x Yosaku:

They can't have Zoro so they pine pathetically together

They settled down and started a fishing boat business together!!

[zarasu]

My favourite SV fic tropes/moments (Part 2)

- Bingyuan/Bingqiu arranged marriage AU but specifically with an older Binghe who has lost his purpose in life and is tired af

- arranged marriage trope in general

- Sqq being clever and cunning (and also an asshole)

- Qi Qingqi/Liu Mingyan (Lmy joining the Shizunfucker Club)

- Binghe having friends, especially if they're girls (yada yada meta about the harem, wives are now his friends etc etc)

- Sqq coming up with the most ridiculous shit to not have to push Binghe into the abyss (also, Sqq coming up with the most ridiculous shit to excuse him pushing Binghe into the abyss)

- Sqh/Airplane being a conniving little rat who is just really good at acting pathetic

- fix-its where Bingqiu meet in a different way after the abyss and somehow the whole conflict gets resolved more easily

- connected to the point above: truth potions, mind reading spells, system reveal, identity reveal, wife plots, sex pollen, time loops, etc etc

- childhood friends to lovers

-> Bingqiu edition: Bonus points if Tianxi are both alive and parenting and Bingqiu having to live with Tlj making innuendos about them all throughout their childhood.

-> Jiuyuan edition: codependent street children desperately taking care of each other until they grow up, look at each other and go "oh😳". And I guess Yqy is there too.

- Sqq just being completely unhinged about Binghe and being more and more obvious about it as time goes on (from "What if I had a hypothetical 7-step plan to make Binghe into my little housewife" to "A little murder never hurt anybody")

- Sy transmigrates into someone else

- Bingge when he... Actually, Bingge deserves a separate post

- creative takes on cultivation

- That one moment when Binghe sees Sqq with Gongyi Xiao and gets jealous bc Gyx is so similar to him. I love Gyx and the way he's well-mannered and honorable despite being under the OPM's influence. I think this boy deserves more fics that have him as the focus.

- adventure fics!

- politics!

- That other moment when Binghe forces Plantzun to come to Cang Qiong and reveals that he knows it's Shizun. This little "gotcha" moment. It's so hot, I can't even describe how much. I love it when fics have that moment in them, in whatever form.

-Binghe cooking

What are your favs?

[m0gelf]

Nobody asked about this pathetic little man but I'll do it anyway!

favorite thing about them

PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM, ABOVE THAT'S CATCH 22 HELPS A LOT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM (and Sheffield, ewww) HE IS SO DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE, HE HAS ONLY RECEIVED BAD PLAYS FROM LIFE DESPITE ALWAYS BEING RESPECTFUL AND KIND...... He's just like me fr

least favorite thing about them

BRITISH....... his british father's family......

favorite line

“Lend me your strength, sis.”

brOTP

This is more HC and based on fanarts but I think him and Alondra/Real Cielo, I love how the ppl portray both as if they were brothers. I also say the same about him and Seraphita. I also like the fanarts where Ysibella/Real Argilla and him interact, but I like to think that they're not that close because she sees O'Brien as a social recluse.

OTP

........ Flobrien sorry for including my OC x Canon but I live by and for them

nOTP

SHEFFBRIEN.

random headcanon

In That's Catch 22 it's said that O'Brien practiced boxing and had a finely toned abdomen, UNTIL HE ALMOST ALMOST MASTERED THE KEY TECHNIQUE WHAT THE HELL, well... I think that after a while he stopped practicing boxing because work took up a lot of his time and it's not like he has the best diet sooooo... a little belly TEEHEE <3

I also have this HC that he has almost no experience in love, apart from being an old-fashioned lover (mostly bc he would go more to the classic for not knowing well about these topics TEEHEE)

He's a himbo btw

unpopular opinion

Possibly more than one can agree with this but WHO HERE SEES O'BRIEN WITH AN EXERCISED BODY? I have asked this question several times and most of them tell me that they don't see it with a body like that, they even see him with some belly. I agree with that point of view and no one will change my mind.

song i associate with them

I have a whole playlist with songs that remind me of him but here I put my top 3

Honorable mention to this one

favorite picture of them

they're besties to me

@lostbizkits where is my O'Brien answer to the ask game

[fallendoctor]

they're both pathetic your honor