#this all started because I got really curious about dance animations [and i wanted to see how it would look for eve to dance FORREAL ]

[citylighten]

undefined

I said I was going to make gifs and I am (later) for now let’s just enjoy this video of Eve dancing along to her voice claim, Victoria Monét ✨

[dentiststoothfairy]

Helloo!! Could I ask for Norton with a VERY shy s/o who has difficulty speaking but loves to draw, has a big crush on him and is always secretly (they are not) drawing him because of it? Means they always stare at him and starts doodling, which might look very weird at first. I just love the dynamic shy x "i hate everyone, except this one" lmao

Please take your time with that! I saw how many request you have and i hope it was okay to give you one more. Take care!! <333

[🦷🎀 𝙸'𝚅𝙴 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝚂𝙾 𝙽𝙴𝚁𝚅𝙾𝚄𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝙸 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙺 𝙸𝚃 𝙲𝙰𝙼𝙴 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳! 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜, 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛! 𝚂𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕 <𝟹𝟹]

🍩 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥 🍩 𝐱 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐒/𝐎

At first? He probably wasn't too interested I'M GONNA BE HONEST

You never really spoke, so he didn't really feel a need to talk to you either. It's not that you couldn't or were mute, you just seemed to really suck at it.

It didn't help that the flushing on your cheeks would occasionally go unnoticed and he just thought you were socially inept 😭

But, he quickly picked on your staring.

Yeah, anon he wasn't too happy about that.

First, and obviously, he assumed it was about his scar. Of course you would want to gawk and stare at him. Everyone else did.

His instinct told him that you were just like the others, snickering at him even if it must've been behind closed doors but to be honest he was more reasonable than to listen to his insecurities.

Although, his stare tended to harden to you.

You always seemed to bashfully look away, scribbling down on a paper. His eyes still stuck on you until he was satisfied that you weren't staring at him like he was an animal in a cage.

God bless. You two dancing around it completely unknowing of it 😭❤

Anyways, it wasn't until he passed behind you. He got curious.

His eyes fell down past your shoulder and he practically fell over. He's very graceful guys I promise.

"... Is that me?"

Now, Norton isn't exactly the most... Handsome fella ever. He believes that anyways. So him.. Being a muse?? To such?? An artist??? HELLO??

If he had known that he was unknowingly posing, he definitely would've asked for money but...

As he gently picks it up, his eyes soften for the first time in years.

YOU POOR THING. YOU'RE EMBARRASSED BEYOND ABSOLUTE WORDS, ALL THE WORDS YOU HAD BEEN STRUGGLING TO SPEAK TO HIM WITH SUDDENLY CAME POURING OUT LIKE PROJECTILE WORD VOMIT

He just shut you up by raising his hand up, really looking at your drawing.

Did...

Did you really see him like that..?

"Uh.. This is.. Pretty Good."

[morbus-mlm]

Gravity Falls Headcanons/Things I Think About Often (Cont.)

⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋

- Blubs & Durland got married on the 2nd anniversary of Weirdmageddon. They picked that day specifically so instead of tragedy, it's their love that's focused on.

- the Manotaurs find the Several Timez boys and raise them, make sure they get proper care (look i really don't want them to do some weird genetic freak shit)

- after being on the Stan O' War II, Stan starts drawing again. He & Ford try to learn from each other and draw in each other’s styles.

- Stan is a canonical erotic fiction writer. He has self published work and sold it on amazon. He also uses Ao3,

- Mabel and Dipper would try & help Ford catch up on new music like they try to do with Stan, it goes about as well as you would expect

- Fiddleford & Tate have father-son bonding, Fidd finally teaches his son the banjo like he said he would when he was younger

- You know how McGucket reads at the library to kids. I feel like he works there, doing something like archival while working on his inventions on the side

- When the grunkles get back home from their adventuring on the Stan O’ War II, Ford asks about the Axolotl. Stan says that it just appears sometimes, & has been doing so since he's lived in the house.

- Ford thinks that it's Frilliam (he's right).

- in Lost Legends Dipper recives a new journal with his pine tree hat mark on it. it functions like his own diary rather than a super scientific, documentation thing like the journals did

- the twins do a lot of research & work to make sure Waddles gets properly taken care of in suburban California, he lives the good life

- Mabel learns boxing with Stan, Dipper learns forensics from Ford

- Giffany develops romantic feelings for Hatsune Miku

— Bill is an unreliable narrator. I feel like some aspects of his story are either made up or half-truths. He isn't exactly a master manipulator for example. Bill's just a being that utilized Ford's pride and insecurity to get what he wanted.

— Tambry feels like a creepypasta girlie. She wrote her own in the 2010s & she's actually pretty good with horror writing.

— Manly Dan and Mayor Tyler are at the very least besties. these guys hang out, watch wrestling, drink at bars together, they are each other's hypeman.

— Soos got McGucket into anime, Ford hears what anime is like through him and is honestly a bit confused

— the Pines family during one summer went to disneyland for a week. within 2 days they have killed walt disney's disembodied cryogenically frozen head, stolen some of the pyrotechnics, pet all of the stray cats, and ate the strange pickledog

— Mabel would introduce her family to it, Dipper would be confused and curious but not want it. Stan would buy it for Mabel but not eat any himself, and Ford would be just as curious Mabel and eat one.

— Robbie starts working hospitality at his parent's mortuary. He still has his attitude but overall, hes more mellowed out than before.

— in their elder teens Mabel, Candy, and Grenda become kpop fans. I say this because oh my god would they all love doing the dances, toploader decor, the lightsticks

— Stan's exes will sometimes visit the shack. In Eda's case it's to catch up, in Rick's case it's to either do karaoke or to get something from him. In the case of his biker ex Stan will just run him off the property because that man sucks.

— Mabel learns how to paint on leather to create a new design on stans old biker jacket. She does it because she notices that it makes him sad when he looks at it

— Once Mabel shows him what she did Stan just starts bawling in joy and pride. He wears it whenever he and Ford go on adventures.

— When Fidd visits the Mystery Shack, he will always gravitate towards Frilliam. Fidd and Ford can usually be found feeding him, changing the water in Frilliam's tank together, talking in front of him.

— Gideon has a twitter

— Soos is pretty business savy. He's really good at appealing to people online, he knows the trends but doesn't stick to them religiously, he maintains that work-life balance. He is the perfect man.

— Toby Determined x Tad Strange ???

— Multibear and Dipper do karaoke in front of the family, it doesn't matter how, I need them to do this

— Mabel, though she doesn't get visibly like, buff, does get super strong due to her practicing boxing and carrying waddles as he grows

— McGucket doesn’t really live in the mansion. He just really isn’t comfortable in there, + he prefers smaller spaces regardless. He has like, a trailer he lives in that actually serves as his home.

— all the windows of the shack get changed to circular ones or normal, square windows.

— Manly Dan is willing to do the work because he's wanted to punch that triangle ever since he saw it in Weirdmageddon

— Soos suggests full on question mark windows, the next best thing they would do is create question mark designs within rectangular/circular windows

— Ford and Stan sometimes donate what they find to museums. It's usually stuff neither would want in the house anyways

— like old ass art that isn't cursed, anything related to taxadermied heads (they can make their own, thanks), all false gold/money, wax figures

— neither Stan or Ford use hard labels for their sexualities, i feel like labels dont really connect with them specifically,

— Stan would go with unlabeled (he’s fine living life not knowing exactly what he is, he cares more about how he feels)

— Ford would use the word queer (reclaiming how he’s been labeled as odd as a good thing)

— aromantic Mabel, i feel like she would experiment a lot with labels before settling on it (girl likes the idea of love, just like me)

— trans Dipper. doesn't matter, they could be transmasc, transfem, genderqueer, agender, dipper is trans

— lumberjack lesbian Wendy, self explanatory

[murdleandmarot]

Can you info dump about bluebelle, I’m very curious about her :3

SORRY THIS TOOK A HUNDRED THOUSAND YEARS I WANTED IT TO BE PERFECT

Hi hello!!!!! I will very gladly talk about Bluebelle, she’s the love of my life forever :D 💙💙💙💙💙

Important note: I’m a very um dramatic person when it comes to creating oc backstories. I am nothing if not a little bit pretentious, and giving ocs weird and angsty backstories is my passion project, and that’s part of the reason it took so long to collect my thoughts, and come up with something concrete, (or as concrete as possible)

I’ll start with facts about her that I like and then backstory regarding the fabled music box :))

-her design/colors are based off of a stuffed animal I bought in Munich :)

-the songs I most associate with her, (I have a playlist because I wanted one), are probably A Dangerous Thing/Everything Matters by AURORA, The Sugar Plum Fairy from the Nutcracker, and I came to your party dressed as a shadow. Adore those songs

-the only jellicles that she has met, (by choice), are Victoria, Misto, Plato, and Demeter. Or rather, Demeter knows of her, but Bluebelle doesn’t know Demeter

-this is mostly bc she’s pretty paranoid about meeting new people, and prefers to stick to her people. It took her a while to warm up to Plato, but eventually she got used to him

-this is also despite Vicci’s best efforts to convince Bluebelle to at the very least meet Jemima

-SPEAKING OF JEMIMA, if you haven’t heard, here’s my little jellicle magic theory: The cat’s magic relates to their eyes, just vaguely. Jemima and Misto each have white eyes, and you may have noticed, Bluebelle has those eyes as well. Because she’s. Blue. And that’s not a typical cat color, I figured I should just run with it. I see Bluebelle’s magic as a combination of Jemima and Victoria! Yes, Victoria is magic to me and that’s not just because she’s lovely and beautiful, but because of the way she uses the music in the show, and the way some productions seem to use her as a metaphor for the Jellicle moon, relating it to her dancing. This is especially true for me when I hc Vicci as deaf, because it implies some sort of magic when her solo syncs with the music. Bluebelle has the same sort of music and dance magic as Victoria, and the same sort of eerie unearthly-ness of Jemima. Basically I combined all my favorite girlies into one and made her <33

Really incoherent n convoluted story under the cut lolllll

I’ve always imagined the music box has something Bluebelle has had since she was very young, as in some of her earliest memories are of the tune it plays. Her mother probably gave it to her before both of her parents disappeared like they were in a Disney movie. The point is that it’s one of her favorite things, and she loves dancing to it. Victoria loves the song as well, and they sometimes practice using the music box, and things continue as so until Misto appears, and starts practicing with them.

Because Misto insists that no music is coming out of the music box. He can’t hear a single note.

Neither can Plato, or any of the other jellicles, when Victoria borrows it, and plays the song for everyone else in the junkyard, (Bluebelle doesn’t go with her-she’d rather not meet the others, for fear they won’t like her, or will tell Victoria to stop visiting her).

No one else can hear the music. No one except, of course, for Jemima and the psychic twins.

Bluebelle starts to ask around town, playing it for different cats, until she finds an older tom, not far, though she doesn’t know it, from the Junkyard.

He can’t hear the music box of course, but he tells her that he’s bit of a collector of magical artifacts. Perhaps he’ll have something similar in his collection.

Would she like to take a look?

Bluebelle declines. Declines at least, to visit him on this night. She hands him the music box, and instructs him to take it back to his den, and look for himself. They will meet in the same place the next day, and if he cannot find anything, then she will go and see for herself.

The next morning, they meet again. He tells her that he’s sorry, he couldn’t find anything that matched the box, and that in his haste to meet her on time, he’d left the box behind. The tomcat invites her to his den, and again, she declines, saying she will visit on a later date, that she already has plans.

Bluebelle follows him home, and hides in wait. She watches as his friends gather to scheme, and doesn’t notice the staring of a golden queen hanging off the arm of a blood orange tom.

The acquaintances leave, and the old cat retires to his den. The fire is almost out, leaving her to sneak into the other tent.

…blood seeps from every item in the cramped space, leaving it to drip from the walls and stain the ground scarlet.

He is not only a collector of magical artifacts, but a collector of queens, as well. The music box is the only thing unmarred by the red, so she steals it back.

She swears she can hear him howling the whole trip.

Bluebelle doesn’t tell Victoria what happens. She tells her to steer clear of the cat who could very be Bluebelle’s father, with a coat as vibrant as the sea, and Victoria doesn’t ask any questions.

Bluebelle doesn’t want to meet any of the other jellicles after that. She barely wants to talk to anyone ever again, with the exception of the few cats she already knows.

She and Victoria still dance to the music box though. Misto tries to follow along.

[usamifriends]

IDOLiSH7 Anime vs Game Comparisons

First Beat - Episode 1

Banri & Tsumugi’s first interaction

Takanashi Productions was in charge of a few other talents before: models, dancers, choir. But i7 is their first boy idol group.

Banri calls the i7 boys as a Japanese multi-course bento (Kaiseki Bento). Tsumugi is confused in both the anime and game, but we don’t get an explanation for why he calls them this in the anime.

It’s actually Banri’s temporary group name 🤣 He says the it’s a name filled with the agency’s hopes and dreams!

Basketball Game

There’s more dialogue in the game that shows us more of their personalities and dynamics. But we’ll learn that eventually~

Sogo, Riku, Nagi team is disorganized. Nagi does what he wants. Riku gets distracted by Nagi. Sogo tries to keep things under control.

Tamaki, Mitsuki, Iori team is super competitive. Tamaki and Mitsuki says, “I hate losing!”, while Iori says, “My life has no room for defeat”.

Unlike in the anime, we actually see parts that show that they’re unfamiliar with each other. Mitsuki and Iori were taken aback at Tamaki’s nicknames. Sogo got a bit weirded out by Nagi’s monologues. They don’t feel like they’ve known each other for a long time like Tsumugi observed (probably bc she was watching from farther away).

Auditions! We get to see Tsumugi’s reactions to this in the game.

Iori is good at singing and dancing. He makes it look effortless!

Yamato is great at expressing things both in singing and dancing. It’s interesting because he’s always repressing his feelings.

Mitsuki has great energy. He brings life to the room.

Tamaki is great at dancing and is athletic.

Sogou is an all-rounder, ready for a professional debut.

Nagi has the elegance of a Prince but also a touch of sensuality to him. On top of that, he’s handsome! A girl’s ideal type.

Riku!! He stumbles on his introduction 😆 He’s really, really good at singing!!

The anime moves these comments to Tsumugi’s report to Takanashi papa. I like this change because we’re not just watching Tsumugi listen and watch the boys as they perform one by one.

When telling the boys about the audition results:

I like the little detail when Tsumugi goes, “Iori-kun… Iori-san.” Iori can be quite intimidating when you first meet him. Although he has a very sharp tongue, he doesn’t come off as some high school brat; he speaks really formally and is really serious about the task on hand, so it’s hard to treat him like a younger person. He has an aura that commands respect.

Side Story I

This side story is from Riku’s POV. We start from Riku walking over to Takanashi Productions to sign the contract. He was calling his mom! He tells him mom about how he won’t be like “that person” (Tenn) who abandoned his family. He calls Tenn “that person” because he doesn’t want to call him “Tenn-nii” anymore, but his mom points out how he called Tenn “Tenn-nii” just yesterday 😂😂 And then he just fully returns to calling Tenn, “Tenn-nii”. He also promised his mom that he will buy her something amazing once he gets famous 🥺❤️

Riku explains that he wants be an idol because he got curious about the job that convinced Tenn to abandon his family (Gon, is that you?)

We see Riku’s first impressions of the members. His interactions show more of his carefree, no sensor, shameless self (ily Riku), which is quite different to the good boy who works hard that we see from Tsumugi’s POV in Part 1, Ch. 1.

Riku -> Nagi: “Wow, this person has a beautiful face unlike any I’ve ever seen! Is he Japanese? …Maybe a foreigner? He face looks as pretty as a sculpture… He seems like a cool and elegant person. He must be a calm person.” (🤭). Riku says Nagi looks 25. Nagi replies that he’s nineteen in English. Riku didn’t understand but just assumed Nagi is younger than him. Iori was speechless. Mitsuki explains that nineteen = 19. Later, Riku introduces Nagi and the Izumi brothers to Sogou and Tamaki. He says the Izumi’s brothers ages normally in Japanese but chooses to use English to say nineteen for Nagi 😂😂 (He’s adorable)

Riku -> Izumi brothers: “Looks like a bright younger brother and a somewhat cold older brother. They’re probably both younger than me?” After making this assumption, he immediately treats them like younger people. He calls Iori “Iori-kun” and Mitsuki “Mitsuki-kun”. Iori immediately criticizes him, but Riku pays him no mind.🙂‍↕️😂 Mitsuki explains that he’s the older brother and that he’s probably older than Riku as he is 21. Riku…. Asks if that’s his shoe size. 😭😭😭😭😭 Mitsuki shouts, “That’s my age! And I’m not that small!!”. Riku is not bothered at all. He just goes “Oh ok!” Then, he POINTS HIS FINGER at Iori and asks, “Then what about this kid over here?” 😂 Iori says, “Don’t point your fingers at other people.” (Is this why they chose NOT to be in Riku’s team? 😂)

Riku -> Sogou: He looks like a nice person!

Riku -> Tamaki: This guy looks like a punk (punk with a cat ears hoodie? Rikuuuu 😂😂)

No first impression for Yamato :(

Side Story 2:

Most of this side story actually makes it into the anime! It’s the part with Sogou and Yamato buying drinks and the rest of the five’s reaction to the auditions.

We get to see a bit more in the game because we get to hear the boys’ thoughts. One of my favorite parts is seeing Iori’s more dangerous side 😌

He calls Takanashi papa a “smug, opportunistic old man”

And threatens to file a complaint, drag Takanashi Production’s reputation down, and drive Takanashi papa to bankruptcy if Mitsuki doesn’t make it in.

[gege-wondering-around]

I hope your world is a happy one at the moment! 🩵I was wondering: what are some of the things that never fail to make you smile?

Hi darling, so sorry it took me so long to answer you! hope you are having an amazing day!💗

I've been thinking about your question since it first caught my eyes a few days ago and between thinking about the answe and dancing between drivers ed and working on my WIP i got lost in time!

Anyway!

my WIPs:

Something that never fails to make me smile are surely my WIPs! Ant time i work on them (rn only on one of'em) i get so happy with myself!

I have a very horrible memory so whenever i re-read something i wrote even a week ago, i don't remeber much of it and i get always surprised by what i wrote and by how much i like it (it's also the reason why sometimes i read the same fics without even noticing it till the end!)

I was always the kinda person who preferred to write than to speak, so I've been writing (poetry, little scenes without any connections, little works maybe never finished from when i was in middle school, and my WIPs now) for basically all my life! the major reason of why i started writing a while back was to express myself, my pain and my thoughts while i was going through a hard time in my life, but now I got to enjoy this as a way of being alive and it brightens my day to be able to write such wonderful things (I'll post a fic soon, so i promise there'll be some ground for this info in a little while).

here's a little thing i wrote in my latest fic (coming soon probably)

So, I basically love writing! I also learned english because i like writing and i never like writing in my native language...

my cat:

big old boy here is my good old pal Bounty! (nobody calls him that, but whatever ahah)

He is clumsy, fat, friendly, a ball of fur and a basic dork! He loves nothing more than to give and recieve love and he has an obsession with his food (he meows as loudly as possible when he wanna eat) and he has been by my side for 8 years now, from when i first got down a bad road to now (where i'm all better) and he has never left me!

Kindness:

It's not very tangible but it just makes me glad to have fought so i'm able to witness how kind people can be! It reminds me the world isn't just cruel and unfair, but it can be kind and caring especially when we are towards each other!

and to give you an example of kindness, i'll bring out a passion of mine i dont really talk about here...

big old pal here comes from an anime called Trigun, his name is Vash.

buddy had no other goal than to be kind to everyone in every way possible despite everyone was against him cause they thought he was the bad guy cause he was different than them (let's say, he is the personification of what keeps humanity going in the show) and buddy here wanted nothing more than to help and despite carrrying this huge big boy here

he didn't use to shot to anyone, his aim was always towards the bad guys' weapons to make them drop 'em and his air the excellent!

to me, old pal above is one of the many examples of kindness i can think about but i think i can give you another we are both familiar with...

(from pinterest)

i mean, if he isn't a symbol of kindness without pulling in any "big ones" of kindness (and by this i mean a more popular person), i don't know what else to say...

my spotify playlist of the moment:

just love these songs and i just sing them all day

and here they are!

those never fails to make me smile!

hope you're having an amazing day and im about to run to your ask box to ask the same cause im too curious now to know your answer to this🫂✨

forgive any typos <3

[ihrtmichael]

you’ve probably talked about this before so forgive me but as someone who has only seen the Cats movie, I’m so curious what your thoughts on it are (I sadly don’t remember the actual plot but I do remember liking the music)

how long do we have…..

so i just wanna start off by saying: i was REALLY excited for the movie and REALLY wanted it to be good. like, i was ready to be TOXIC about this 😭 but then i saw it opening night and as the movie progressed i was like… this is terrible lol.

immediately we have to state the obvious: the digital fur technology DOESNT WORK. theyre fuckin ugly looking, and IMO part of the musical’s appeal is that i’m watching grown adults wear yak wigs, unitards, and leg warmers and they’re all dancing, singing, and acting like cats onstage. it’s crazy! and that’s what makes it so fun! it’s easier for me to suspend my disbelief that these people are cats! howard ashman once said something along the lines of “musicals only work onstage and in animation because you’ve already suspended your disbelief,” and it’s stuck with me ever since. there’s something about sitting in the theatre for 2-3 hours watching a production happen LIVE in front of you and shutting out the rest of the world. and for cats, seeing those huge set pieces that make YOU feel like you’re the size of a cat. and then having the cats come out into the audience and interact with you. it’s totally different compared to watching a movie. i easily believe these people are cats. i easily believe that I’M in this junkyard. you don’t get that with this movie.

and yeah like i mentioned earlier before i went crazy, the designs of the cats are butt fuckin ugly 😭 in the musical, i can easily tell the cats apart. they have their own distinct beautiful colorings and markings. in the movie, they’re all some boring shade of brown or grey. like where is demeter? jemima/sillabub? alonzo? i can’t tell these bitches apart and they look gross!!!!!

the plot: idgaf what anyone has told you, the musical has a plot !!!!! it’s pretty paper thin, since i think the main focus of the show has always been the dancing, but it’s still there. basically, it’s a huge honor for the jellicles to be reincarnated. every year, it’s old deuteronomy (their leader) that chooses who gets to live their next life. i’ve always described it as “a chorus line with cats.” the cats present themselves and all their accomplishments to prove why they’re worthy. they break the fourth wall multiple times, explaining things and interacting with the audience. but they also don’t explain EVERY LITTLE THING. the show is sung through. they don’t sing “grizabella the glamor cat” and then turn to the audience like, “she’s a bitch cuz she turned to drugs/prostitution/what have u and left us and so we don’t like her.” we already got that in the song. in the movie, they make victoria (the white cat) represent the audience, and they explain everything to her. like. EVERYTHING. it’s redundant and clunky and doesn’t go with the story! and more proof that this movie Doesn’t trust its audience. and then the bullshit with macavity catnapping EVERYONE??? bitch bye i can’t 😭😭😭😭

the songs: i know every. single. word. to the original album. it is so serious to meeee 😭 it’s music by ALW, do u know how hard it is to fuck that up?! the arrangements are fuckin ATROCIOUS, and don’t even get me STARTED on the performances. they keep trying to inject humor in places that are arguably already really funny and ridiculous. bustopher jones always gets some giggles in the show but then in the movie they have to have james fuckin corden stop the song to make some dumb joke about “are u calling me fat?” like SHUT UP AND JUST SING THE SONG????? and then u have the random taylor swift song that is beautiful but doesn’t fit the story or vibe at ALL. that shit should have stayed in the end credits. the only number i honest to God enjoyed was skimbleshanks because they kept it upbeat and fun. rum tum tugger and mister mistoffelees were SO DISAPPOINTING especially because those numbers are PARTIES when u see them live and in the film they’re soooooo underwhelming. and don’t get me started on macavity. that number is supposed to be jazzy and sexy and fun and they gave us…. taylor swift. not even taylor acting as a cat, it’s literally just taylor in horrifying fur technology singing the song as taylor and randomly throwing around glittery catnip????? literally makes NO sense. and jennifer hudson is a beautiful singer, but i didn’t really care for her version of “memory.” especially when u watch it in the film she was doing… way too much. yall couldn’t CGI out the boogers running down her face?!:$:&/ this is wacky!!!!

anyways, if u like the soundtrack for the film, i promise you’ll LOVE the broadway soundtrack even more.

that’s all i can think of off the top of my head, but i’m sure there’s more😭 IMO, cats as a film only works if it’s animated or if you just film the stage production. the only cats film i acknowledge is the 1998 recording with john partridge and elaine paige, so if u can get your hands on that or even a bootleg of the 2016/17 broadway revival i cannot recommend them enough! i know cats has a reputation for being dumb and weird, and maybe she is, but she’s *MY* dumb and weird show. its fun and exciting and im always in awe of the pure TALENT you need to have to be in a production. i genuinely can’t describe what it was like to see this show live back in 2017. easily top 5 theatre experiences, and ive seen 50+ musicals/plays.

[the-coolest-pharaoh]

(This post is constantly being updated; headcanons are in no particular order.)

TW: Mental health conditions and trauma

My Headcanons for Ahkmenrah

——

He is short and likes to wear his crown (not just because he is a pharaoh) to make him look taller

He’s been claustrophobic ever since he got trapped in his sarcophagus

Refuses to take his cape off around other people (besides Bahiti) due to his scars

He hated being treated better than everyone else; if he had it his way he would have made it so that Egypt treated him like a normal person rather than above everyone else and deserving more respect

He loved his people so much; he was always so kind and generous to them

He spent his entire reign trying to create equality in Egypt (banning slavery, providing more care to the poor, etc.)

He LOVES duckies (King Tut reference the real ones know what I mean)

He pulled a Princess Jasmine a lot and snuck out of the palace dressed like a commoner so that he could just be a person

Does not like to discuss his brother, but will if asked about him because he does not want to be rude

Can walk really well in high heels

He doesn’t believe that fashion has gender—but because of the time period he is from he feels like has to refrain from wearing women’s clothes

His love language is physical touch

He is very ~skittish~ and ~jumpy~

He is pretty shy and likes to observe people before he introduces himself

He’s pretty quiet (kind of canon actually)—both in how much he talks, his volume, and his overall being

He likes to spend most of his time in his tomb where it’s quiet, especially if he had just recently spent time with all of the museum because socialization tires him out

Due to having been sheltered in the palace most of his life and kept as innocent as possible by his parents, Ahk has a hard time grasping real world events and does not have the best social skills

Going off the last point, Ahk also feels like he can fix anything and everything that is bad because he was taught that he can, and when he can’t fix something he gets very uncomfortable and upset

Hates confrontation beyond logic

When he is upset with someone he becomes pretty sassy (again having to do with hating confrontation and also not having great social skills)

He loves loves loves animals and always has; if you take him to a zoo he will refuse to ever leave

He is the only one that the lions do not try and murder; they actually really love him

He’s naturally super graceful

He can do his eyeliner perfectly on his first try

His ears are pierced but all his earrings are in other museums :((

He is physically unable to swear change my mind

He is such a mama’s boy :((

There has always been some tension between him and his dad because of their differing views on how Ahk should rule (aka he has daddy issues)

He has separation anxiety, social anxiety, and epilepsy, also suffers from weak bones, though this issue in particular didn’t start until after he died.

He has OCD from being controlled his whole childhood having high expectations put on him, and he and his brother being compared.

He fidgets with his clothing as a coping mechanism when he’s stressed, anxious or scared.

He has a lil overbite and it’s so cute <3 he has always been a little self-conscious about it though because it slightly affects how he speaks (again kind of canon because Rami has an overbite so)

This boi wouldn’t (more like couldn’t) hurt a fly unless they hurt someone he cares about

He is bisexual

He LOVES 70s music and fashion

Ahk thinks the museum is his kingdom because let’s be honest it is

His birthday is what would now be September 14, 1105 B.C.E. though the Egyptians didn’t celebrate birthdays so he doesn’t make a big deal of it

He is a skilled hunter

He is very curious and interested in academia—he loves to read books and poetry and learn

He loves listening to music, he could dance with his headphones on for hours

Being called ‘dead’ is offensive to him, and probably the rest of the exhibits tbh

He loves all the “mom shows;” reality tv, cooking shows, home improvement shows. His most favorite show is the Kardashians because he relates to the toxic family drama <3

He has daddy issues (confirmed, actually)

His best friend is Sacagawea :)

My version of him died at the age of 24 (long explanation as to why)

[paleparearchive]

El Greco

Main menu conversations

(Default, "Moving to Location", "Time of Day", "Parade", "Inactive screen")

El Greco: Van Gogh. How do you get along with everybody?

Van Gogh: Hmmm, maybe it's because everyone who likes painting is my friend!

Van Gogh: I would love to visit your home island someday, El Greco-san.

El Greco: Yeah... I'm sure they'll take you in like a ray of sunshine.

El Greco: ~~~♪

Van Gogh: El Greco-san, you sing a lot. Does singing make you a better artist?

El Greco: A song is like a ray of sunshine that brightens up our days.

Van Gogh: ?? Oh yeah! I don't get it, but maybe I'll get it!

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Courbet: The dictionary I gave you before, is it helping you with your language study?

El Greco: ... The buds have just started to sprout. But they will grow in time.

El Greco: Thank you for always helping me out. I'd like to thank you, Courbet.

Courbet: Then hum and call a fox. I want to use it as a subject for a painting.

El Greco: Courbet. I'm returning this book.

Courbet: O-Okay…?

El Greco: In return, I wrote down something Munch was talking about–

Courbet: P-Please don't do that…! I'm sorry if you didn't like it!

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

El Greco: Do you not want to play as much as you can, too?

Da Vinci: Yes, because it is more meaningful to be learning about academics.

Da Vinci: All the animals by your side are lovely.

El Greco: … They are. I'm proud of my familiars.

Da Vinci: El Greco-san... You love animals too.

El Greco: … You do too?

Da Vinci: Yes, but they do not come to me as easily as they do to you.

El Greco: … Like a shell. A little bit of fire would help.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Renoir: I wonder if the girls on your island are cute as well. I'm a little curious.

El Greco: ! Don't try to seduce them. The spirits will come to pile stones under your pillow.

El Greco: How do you stay so cheerful, Renoir?

Renoir: Because it's more fun to be loose. Why don't you try to live a more relaxed life?

Renoir: El Greco. How's it going? Are you having fun?

El Greco: Yes, the bears are about to leap around the flames.

Renoir: Oooh, I don't get it, but I'm glad you're having fun.

El Greco: I'm glad to see yours are dancing like crazy too.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

El Greco: Do you enjoy listening to the stories about my hometown?

Rembrandt: Yup! I don't understand your language, but I enjoy getting to know more about you.

Rembrandt: It's always soothing to hear the birds singing near you, El Greco-kun.

El Greco: Is that so? … Ah, my familiars were gathering again.

Rembrandt: Hey, El Greco-kun, I'd love to hear more about your story.

El Greco: … My story… What do you want me to tell you?

Rembrandt: Your favorite food, season, clothes, stores, sweets, colors and other things…?

El Greco: Wait. … You're like a river after rain. One at a time, please.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Michelangelo: Hey, call me someone with muscles. I want to use 'em as a model for my sculptures.

El Greco: That's impossible. That's not one of my familiars.

El Greco: I heard you liked muscles, Michelangelo… My muscles as well…?

Michelangelo: Compared to Giotto and the others, yours is just one step away.

El Greco: … Hey.

Michelangelo: … What? Ya need me?

El Greco: … I don't have anything to say, but my familiars seem to be concerned about you.

Michelangelo: … Oh really?

Michelangelo: The birds around you are too loud, I can't hear.

El Greco: Sorry, I must have woken you up.

["Time of Day" conversation - morning]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Hokusai: Your hometown's surrounded by the sea?

El Greco: Yes. It's a beautiful place filled with the blessings of the spirits.

El Greco: Hokusai. When are you going to clean your room?

Hokusai: Cleaning ain't necessary for me. I can live like this.

El Greco: … Your clothes are nice, Hokusai.

Hokusai: Oh! Ya know what I mean! I got 'em at a lot of Japanese kimono shops.

El Greco: That wrapped cloth, too... is nice. It's a wave pattern.

Hokusai: Ya like it? I'll buy it for ya next time I find it.

El Greco: Hokusai. Every vegetable has its season. It's just time to clear out the room.

Hokusai: You're as funny as ever! Well, I don't understand ya.

["Time of Day" conversation - daytime]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Gauguin: I'd like to go to your hometown... It looks like the perfect place for me...

El Greco: Yeah… It's a nice place. I'm sure everyone on the island will give you a warm welcome.

El Greco: Gauguin. There's a quiet sea nearby. Do you want to go there?

Gauguin: Sea… Yeah, the sea is fine… Take me there…

Gauguin: I'm no good at all, I have to go back to nature…

El Greco: Why do you refer to yourself as if you were a toothbrush that has been used up?

Gauguin: … It's more amazing to be able to affirmit yourself without any evidence.

El Greco: Really? I don't think you need any evidence…

Gauguin: Changing the location doesn't give me much of a break… I want to go back to nature…

El Greco: I understand your love for nature. However... stop taking off your clothes.

["Moving to Location" conversation (Shop)]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Gauguin: I feel like I’m in nature near you. Ah, a bird on my shoulder… Haha…

El Greco: Those are my familiars. I let them greet me in the morning.

["Time of Day" conversation - morning]

Monet: What's your hometown like, El Greco?

El Greco: Well... It's a place where the spirits dance and the wind and the trees sing.

El Greco: Your love for Manet is beyond the moon.

Monet: Ya mean it's really awesome? Thank you! El Greco!

Monet: Heeey, El Greco! Wanna go paintin' with me?

El Greco: … Why are you inviting me?

Monet: Why, 'course, 'cause I wanna be friends with ya, right?

El Greco: … I see. Thank you. I'll come and paint with you…!

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Raffaello: The key to having a long conversation with a customer is to get them to talk.

El Greco: I see... That makes me feel better. On my island, we are taught not to speak our minds except to those with whom we have spent a great amount of time.

El Greco: Everyone recognizes your paintings. You can't hunt without flying.

Raffaello: Thank you. You encourage me. El Greco-kun, you are very kind.

Raffaello: El Greco-kun. Can I talk to you for a second?

El Greco: … Yes. What do you need?

Raffaello: It looks like you want to be part of the group, so I was wondering if I could help you.

El Greco: ... I see. I'm having trouble getting in... I would like to consult with you.

Raffaello: Oh, what are you eating?

El Greco: It's called dakos. It tastes like home.

["Time of Day" conversation - daytime]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Munch: I really like the picture you're drawing right now, Niko-chan! My friends are interested in it too.

El Greco: Thank you. I'll show it to you guys first when it's finished.

El Greco: Munch, hurry up! A flower sale is taking place over there in the flower garden!

Munch: I see, they're having a sale over there! Alriiight! Let's ruuuun!

Munch: Niko-chan, how are you doing heeere? My friend's asking!

El Greco: Well... It looks like a bath that's neither hot nor cold.

Munch: I seee! You must be comfortable!

El Greco: Yeah. Thanks to you.

El Greco: Good morning, Munch. Did you get a wake-up call from the spirits?

Munch: Good morning, Niko-chan! I don't think my friends are awake yet!

["Time of Day" conversation - morning]

El Greco: Munch. It's dinner time. A mother's words are sharper than a father's.

Munch: Yup! Got it! They'll get angry if I don't hurry!

["Time of Day" conversation - night]

Munch: "This time the parade is a freshly brewed coffee"? Yeah, I think it was great tooooo!~

El Greco: Yes, it was the n°1 parade. … Of all the ones I've seen and participated in.

["Parade" conversation]

Munch: Before I knew it, you've been surrounded by birds, Niko-chan.

El Greco: It's a nice familiars gathering. It's because you're kind.

Munch: Reaaally? If so, I'm veeery happy!~

El Greco: Yeah, it's true. Because your mind is always on the prowl for cleaners.

["Inactive screen" conversation]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Giotto: There's a lotta animals around ya, El Greco! Can I pet 'em?

El Greco: Yes. My familiars doesn't like pointless fights. Feel free to touch them.

El Greco: Giotto. Can I ask you to listen to me this time?

Giotto: Yeah, of course! Can't wait to hear what ya have to say.

Giotto: El Greco, I just met Rubens…

El Greco: Yeah.

Giotto: That guy's dog showed me his belly!

El Greco: It's a sign of obedience. That dog wants to be one of your familiars.

El Greco: I'm trying, but... I wonder if I fit in.

Giotto: Yeah, you're doin' great! Keep it up!

["Time of Day" conversation - daytime]

El Greco: Today I'll be the one to talk to you.

Giotto: That's unusual. I'm always the one talkin'.

El Greco: You always have such interesting stories to tell. I wanted to talk to you too.

Giotto: I see…! Then ya can talk to me all day and all night.

["Inactive screen" conversation]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Sisley: You always have an aura of purity and mystery around you, El Greco-san.

El Greco: … It's probably because of all the familiars around me.

El Greco: Sisley. Eggs are cheap today. You can buy some on your way home.

Sisley: Thank you very much. I'm grateful for you always letting me know!

Sisley: El Greco-san... May I take a look at that cloth?

El Greco: … Yeah. What is it, is it weird?

Sisley: No, it's not weird, it's a fine, tactile fabric. It's lovely…

El Greco: I see… I like this one, too.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Bazille: Hm, what book do you have? ... Oh, geography.

El Greco: I am going to harvest the seeds of knowledge about the sea and the land surrounding my hometown.

El Greco: Bazille, you have hands for miracles.

Bazille: Miracles are exaggerated. I'm just tending to your wound, okay?

Bazille: El Greco, do you want to use this?

El Greco: … A letter set? I don't have anyone to write to.

Bazille: Sigh, look, if you can't speak well, you can still say it in a letter, don't you think?

El Greco: … I see. I'll take it gratefully.

El Greco: Puppies turn when the place changes. Do you do that too?

Bazille: Uhm… It's supposed to mean it makes me feel better, right?

["Moving to Location" conversation (Recreation room)]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Kuroda: Thank you for always being there for Munch. Is he giving you trouble?

El Greco: It's like a flower bathed in light. It was you who gave Munch his brilliance, Kuroda.

El Greco: Kuroda, can't you just quit being the devil's servant?

Kuroda: The devil's servant...? What the hell are you talking about?

Kuroda: Have you seen Munch? I told him to fix the painting, but I'm afraid he's gone off to play.

El Greco: … I am a stone that speaks no words.

Kuroda: Oooh… So you know where he went.

El Greco: I… I would never leave on my own in the middle of a hide-and-seek game.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Ingres: Do you all know the rules of the museum?

El Greco: Every house has its own windows. You'll just have to get used to them slowly.

El Greco: I have never seen such an accurate composition. Did you create it, Ingres?

Ingres: Yes. I get embarrassed when people compliment me in person…

El Greco: You look like you made a deal with the devil. What are you doing to me?

Ingres: No, it's… Could you, uh, turn around and take off your clothes?

El Greco: I knew there was a demon… Understood. I'll take off my clothes.

Ingres: Thank… El Greco-san. You do not have to take off your bottom clothes. I'm just going to draw a picture of your back.

El Greco: The violin played by you is a beauty that even my familiarz would approve of.

Ingres: Thank you very much. It's an honor to be liked by animals.

["Time of Day" conversation - night]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Delacroix: That Ingres… I don't see him. All right, let's get outta here while we still can.

El Greco: Without the cat, the rats can do whatever they want.

El Greco: Is that outfit of yours an exorcism equipment, Delacroix?

Delacroix: Hell no! Ya goy some nerve to call my rock exorcism!

Delacroix: … Haah? The hell you're starin' at?

El Greco: Saturday is sticking out from under Friday.

Delacroix: Ah? Friday? Stickin' out? Where's Munch? I need him to translate for me.

El Greco: Was it the kindness of the bear? Then I'll leave.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Watteau: Heeeey, El Greco. Ya were supposed to have a drink with us today!

El Greco: Is that so? That's boiling water to my ears.

El Greco: Watteau's crew? I'd like to join for a drink too…

Watteau: Oooh, ya drink too, El Greco! Aight! Crew meeting!

Watteau: I was thinkin' of havin' a party for everyone, ya should come too.

El Greco: … You don't mind if I join you?

Watteau: Of course not! I want ya to come, El Greco.

El Greco: I see... Then I'll be there.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Velazquez: What do you think of this color scheme?

El Greco: It's a difficult color. But you'd probably just be twisting the hand of a kitten.

El Greco: Your paintings… They look somewhat like Titian's.

Velazquez: I guess you're right. I dare say I've been influenced by Titian.

Velazquez: Your painting shows people's melancholy very well. And the instability is also well expressed by the eccentric composition.

El Greco: ! Ah…

Velazquez: Did I hurt you?

El Greco: No, you didn't. I just felt like a deer jumping.

El Greco: Velazquez. Good morning. The gut is making a fuss.

Velazquez: Does this mean you're hungry, given the circumstances…? Breakfast is in the kitchen.

["Time of Day" conversation - morning]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Van Dyck: Your boots are so strange. Are those from your hometown, too?

El Greco: Yeah. These are boots that can withstand a bear's body slamming into them.

El Greco: Your skin is as beautiful as a baby's cheeks, Van Dyck…

Van Dyck: You know what I mean! I'd like to talk to you sometime.

Van Dyck: … Yeah, your skin is beautiful. It's a beauty I don't have.

El Greco: Is that so? Your skin is a pearl to the eye.

Van Dyck: Pearl? You mean it's beautiful? Fufu, you see what I mean. I use a pack every day.

El Greco: Pack… We had that in my hometown. Women used to stick their faces into the sand.

Van Dyck: Your fabric is beautiful and looks soft to the touch.

El Greco: This is a cloth woven in my hometown. If you're curious, I'll order it for you.

["Time of Day" conversation - night]

Van Dyck: Wow... This rabbit has beautiful fur! Is it your pet?

El Greco: Wrong. It's my familiar.

Van Dyck: F-Familiar…? You mean it's following you?

El Greco: No, these guys come by on their own.

["Inactive screen" conversation]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

El Greco: Rubens, your clothes are fashionable. I wish I could wear something like that, too…

Rubens: Ara, Niko-chan, you are the most fashionable as you are! Be confident!

Rubens: That's a lovely blue fabric, I would love to have a scarf made of this kind of fabric.

El Greco: I have it hanging on my bed too. I can share some of it with you.

Rubens: Niko-chan, you seem to be following me with your eyes, what's wrong?

El Greco: … Sorry. I was staring.

Rubens: It's alright, you can look as long as you want, ok? But at least tell me why.

El Greco: Well... I thought I could learn about your socializing skills…

Rubens: Oh no... I had a nightmare.

El Greco: There was a saying in my hometown. If we all sleep together, we won't be afraid.

["Time of Day" conversation - night]

Rubens: The next Royal Parade is in a year… You have already competed in it once, right, Niko-chan?

El Greco: Yeah, I didn't get the MVP.

Rubens: Then we'll have to work harder this time. Of course I'm not going to lose!

El Greco: That's right. I look forward to being on that stage with you guys.

["Parade" conversation]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

El Greco: Jan. I'll give you this candy. It's from the store.

Jan: Huh!? Is that okay!? Thanks, Gre-nii!

Jan: Wooow! So many animals! I wonder if they will come around meee?

El Greco: They'll get used to it. Because you are as clear as the summer sky.

Jan: Hey! That's an interesting pattern on your clothes. Can I take a look?

El Greco: … Yeah, look as long as you want.

Jan: Woooah, strange patterns... Ah, sorry! I didn't mean to stare.

El Greco: I don't mind. Don't worry about it, take a look.

El Greco: I'm glad the parade went off without a hitch.

Jan: Yup! You looked like you were having a lot of fun, Gre-nii!

El Greco: Yeah... Thanks to you guys. I never thought a parade could be so much fun.

Jan: Hehehe, you're welcome!

["Parade" conversation]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

El Greco: Hubert. Can you make dakos?

Hubert: Hmmm. Maybe if I had a recipe I could make it…

Hubert: I bought the surface material you were looking for while I was out shopping.

El Greco: ! You found it. I thought I could only get it in my hometown, thank goodness.

Hubert: You've been a great help for Jan, I'm glad that my brother has so many friends.

El Greco: … I'm not really taking care of him. Rather, I'm the one who is being helped.

Hubert: … Really? If he's causing you any trouble, please tell me right away.

El Greco: Okay... If it comes to that, I will.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

El Greco: The vegetables produced by you, Millet, always smile at the sun.

Millet: It's like they're alive, you mean? Thanks a lot. I'm glad to hear it.

Millet: I was discussing this matter with you the other day…

El Greco: Yes, I know. I'll keep my familiars from the fields.

Millet: Uhm... El Greco? Do you have, like, a hobby or something?

El Greco: Hobby… Well, no… I don't have anything to tell you.

Millet: I see... Sorry, I'm having trouble staying on topic.

El Greco: … Don't worry.

El Greco: Your parade was like a perfectly ripe avocado, Millet.

Millet: Uhm, you mean it's good, right? Yours was really good, too.

["Parade" conversation]

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Manet: What kind of training do you do?

El Greco: I do nothing. I just live like seaweed in the sea.

El Greco: … Do you like esparago, Manet? I'm curious because you eat them a lot.

Manet: You mean asparagus, perhaps? That's the vegetable that I deserve.

Manet: El Greco. Call me an animal. I'll use it for my next painting.

El Greco: You want me to sacrifice one of my familiars? I can't offer them out of thin air.

Manet: I see. I'll have to pay you for the model. How much do you want?

El Greco: No... I can't do what you're asking me to do, even if you're offering me money. They're alive too.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

El Greco: … Mucha. Why are you here?

Mucha: Fufu, to promote the arts, of course.

Mucha: If you do not mind, could you tell me more about your hometown?

El Greco: Okay. I'll be as talkative as a keyboard if you want.

Mucha: El Greco-san, do you never want to go back home?

El Greco: … I don't know. But there are times when I need to feel the breath of the ocean.

Mucha: The ocean, you say? There was none in my hometown. I would like to go there.

El Greco: … It might be fun to go to the beach with someone.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

El Greco: I heard that you couldn't hold anything heavier than a brush, is that true, Hiroshige…?

Hiroshige: N-No way! That's rude! I can at least hold chopsticks!

Hiroshige: !? H-Hey, a dog, in a place like this... Morita, please let it out…

El Greco: Forgive me. My familiar got in the way.

Hiroshige: Well well, El Greco-dono. Can I help you with anything?

El Greco: Could it be that the one who is always by your side is your spirit, Hiroshige?

Hiroshige: Are you talking about Morita? Well, it's something like that.

El Greco: I knew it. So Hiroshige has the blessing of the spirits.

[goat-and-coat]

UT Yellow Spoilers Ahead.

So. Here’s some buffer text so this shouldn’t show up in your notifications. The spoilery parts. The spoiliest. Consider this your spoiler warning.

Yeah, this is probably long enough. I’m just gonna shotgun this lol.

We’re going to start with the good.

So the good!

Yeah. There’s a LOT. Way too much to mention, so here’s some highlights.

Toriel showing up is obviously a necessity. But it was such a cool little moment to have the rescue ending (:

Nice callback to UT’s little “wait for something to happen” moments that happen in the Core and Ruins.

The music, of course, is amazing. Whether it’s the original music or the remix (I dig that Hopes and Memes remix), they did a phenomenal job.

On the front of artistic expression, the art. Sprites are amazing. The flashback art is amazing. The videos are super cool. The animations are really good.

Gameplay is pretty in line with Undertale. You’ll find yourself holding X a lot more to slow yourself down than you did in UT.

I like how the game makes callouts to beloved characters we don’t see directly, like Alphys and Undyne. It was nice to see more of the same side characters, too. The expansion on monsters is good- like Dalv. And we finally see farms.

I love Clover, Martlet, and the Feisty Five. Cerboro… well, we’ll talk about her later. Their dialogue is always great. I don’t think there was even a single bad line.

The hugs at the end! And the hand holding! And how much everyone just loves Clover aaaaah

Also Flowey (:

Good cowboy representation!!!

Snowdin expansion (:

More of the Ruins we never got to see (:

We got to see the city up close wooo!!

The map is just good. My favorite part was the Dunes. I liked seeing the UG Apartment Complex. The Royal statue specifically. Nice smaller detail that I’m glad didn’t go forgotten.

Also! UT Yellow successfully retains the writing and goofiness of UT. While the drama doesn’t hit AS hard, it’s still definitely a tearjerker! It really makes you see the six kids as more than just a number. Helps to put gravity and weight on that.

But most importantly, the creators very clearly have such love and respect for UT. It shows in their creation. A lot of hard work and effort went into it. UT Yellow is what all fan games should look to do in my opinion. I want you to keep this in mind for what I’m going to say about the dislikes.

Here’s what I didn’t like:

Do you wish every fight was as bad as Sans? Do you hate everyone and yourself? Do you wish to inflict pain on your mental well-being? Do you straight up suck at dodging, but love seeing game over screens?

Congratulations. This game is for you. It’s a mix bag for me. Extra challenge is good, but this was extreme.

The boss fights don’t hold back. So this could easily be in the “good” category if you’re a masch… maschochist? Masc… enjoy pain. I can’t spell it, okay??? And I ain’t gonna Google it.

Axis took me close to two and a half hours to beat (in comparison, the dance boss took only about an hour and a half).

That’s my only real complaint about the pacifist run as far as combat goes. No way monsters would’ve been locked away without a single soul during the war if they were this strong.

I will say the world makes the Underground seem TOO big, which contradicts the whole “the underground is too small” narrative Undertale pushed. I think Yellow mentions it once or twice, too? HOWEVER!! I am totally and completely willing to ignore this because cowboy hehe (:

Plus, it explains some food source. Little curious how they’re growing crops underground, but I’ll just go with “it’s magic so it doesn’t need sunlight” as my excuse.

Flowey. I know I said I liked him, too. So here’s what’s going on.

This is gonna be weird to people because Asriel and Frisk are my favorite UT characters. And I don’t even dislike Flowey in Yellow! He’s super funny.

But he should not be there.

His presence opens up a whole can of worms.

1- He can save and load while Clover can’t (he is Clover’s save point). This isn’t an issue in itself, but it is an issue at the same time because Flowey’s goal to take human souls would be ten billion times easier if he just bodied Clover at the very first opportunity like he tried to do with Frisk. This is a kid who throws a temper tantrum after about five seconds of you not dying to his bullets. I don’t think he would have the patience to play the long con.

2- Flowey doesn’t seem to have met a human other than Chara and Frisk… and the ones who killed him, I guess. The True Lab implies that before him, LemonBread had the SAVE/LOAD ability for a short time.

3- Flowey’s presence also stuffs the timeline in a box. We’re to assume Flowey in UT woke up relatively recently, because he’s been screwing with timelines. But Toriel tells us a human hasn’t been underground in “a long time” in both games. I can picture this being 7-10 years minimum.

Are we really going to believe Alphys had people locked in her basement for ten years? Because I couldn’t see that lasting more than 3 months tbh. 6 months would be a MASSIVE stretch before people stormed the gates. I feel like Alphys’s mention should’ve been left at “the new Royal scientist made a robot.”

Leave out the subplot of Cerbora’s blatant disregard for child safety. You wouldn’t even need to do away with the (frankly busted) fight she had (I did most of it with the silver scarf btw).

My final thing that is a total complaint is the genocide ending. Clover gains the LOAD/SAVE, one shots Asgore, murks Flowey, and frees the souls. But they’d still be trapped down there lol.

I feel like Asgore should’ve just skewered Clover and that should’ve been the genocide ending. Flowey being left out would’ve nullified my dislike of him dying (for realsies).

Though I will say, the art made exclusively for it is disturbing as heck and belongs in a horror game. So they definitely did a great job on that part of it.

Speaking of Asgore… he seems really out of character to just fire someone like he does. I can disregard this as him wanting kids to NOT die. Axis is very clearly a way bigger threat than MTT could ever dream to be.

So really, my complaints boil down to:

1- Game too hard ):

2- Biiiig place but cool so it’s worth it (but how the heck is there a desert down here? Who cares!? Worth it!)

3- Genocide ending sad and dumb and I hate it because sad and weird):

4- Flowey’s presence

5- Timeline confuzzlement.

The first is a skill issue (even if I know I haven’t had nearly as many issues as some other people).

The second is really just a mix bag. It makes sense in most places (Snowdin, Hotland, New Home, Home/the Ruins) but less so in other places (the Dunes, aka my favorite spot in Yellow. Damn, I’m willing to compromise just to keep this tho.)

The third is just personal preference I guess… I don’t like how it’s contradictory to UT. As a stand-alone thing, it’s perfectly fine. Just too depressing for me.

The fourth… well… okay, this is the only complaint I don’t see myself budging on.

The fifth just needs some minor corrections.

How is Yellow overall?

If Undertale is a 9, which frankly it is, I’d give UT Yellow a solid 8.75. It should be impossible to make a fan game that’s almost as good as the content it was based on, but the absolute madlads did it. They really did it.

Jury’s still out on DeltaRune, but I rate it around an 8.25 so far.

For context, out of all of my favorite games, I’ve never once thought of a game as a ten. Not even the fantastic Fallout: New Vegas or the reliable (Halo) Reach.

[everythingsinred]

It's surprising and curious how Mikan's words can actually hurt or affect Natsume in some way and this is 100% canon in the manga, at least it happens twice.

The first is that time at the Festival when his fans started saying bad things about Mikan and she, in a fit of fury, said that she would never ever dance with Natsume and later we can see that these words really affected him because later he didn't want to dance with her and he even went with another girl!

Natsume, the introvert who never participates in academy events or interacts with girls, this time he did it only because Mikan said she would never dance with him.

And later we have that moment in the new year, when everyone ended up stuck together because of a prank by Tsubasa, at one point Mikan without realizing it says that she likes Ruka more than Natsume and at that moment Natsume doesn't seem affected but when are they going to sleep Natsume remembers Mikan's words twice; the first time when they were entering the room and mikan was complaining and Natsume replies "I'm sorry but I'm not Ruka" and at some point I know he says "I'll return you to Ruka later"

I don't remember if there is another instance in which something similar happens but I think that the 5 of us who are still alive in the fandom don't talk enough about how Mikan's words do have an importance in Natsume and that he can really feel hurt by they. It's also funny because all these scenes occur when Natsume was in the mood of "leaving Mikan and Ruka together" and he stepped aside so those words from Mikan should have been a joy or relief for Natsume but in reality they weren't.

(and very honestly I think that as much as Natsume loved Ruka I think he would never have been able to stand him being with Mikan, I'm sorry but every time there seemed to be some 'progress' between Mikan and Ruka, Natsume never reacted well, in fact he was affected)

hi! thanks for sending a message! my reply is a bit long, so it's under the cut.

it certainly is 100% canon but i dont think it's surprising to me, considering that it's typical for someone with a crush to be particularly vulnerable to any harsh words from said crush (whether they were harsh on purpose or not).

i did discuss these instances and more in my essays bc of how interesting those scenes are from both natsume and mikan's perspective but i will always take an excuse to talk more about them!

i always thought the festival dance instance was interesting, especially when you compare the anime and manga events, bc the anime seems more like what you'd expect from natsume: after pushing ruka and mikan together, he sulks off and isnt seen again at the dance for the rest of the night until mikan finds him. the manga is interesting bc he does the opposite, at least for a little while. yes, he does still push mikan and ruka together, but instead of brooding about it by himself, he acts out of spite, dancing with every girl EXCEPT for mikan.

i love this scene for what it reveals about both of them: they're too stubborn, for their own reasons, to actually communicate their feelings of jealousy. anime!mikan asks natsume to dance but manga!mikan would never, and analyzing those differences is pretty interesting.

and for the new years chapters, he actually gets hurt by her a couple times that day. the first instance is when she asks him how many greeting cards he got, when the answer is 0 and it is technically something she could have deduced. this event is a little different than the "i prefer ruka" one because mikan is instantly berated and feels really guilty for hurting natsume. she even gifts him her mochi as an apology though actually saying the words "im sorry" is difficult for her. natsume is a lil different too, because although he's hurt in the moment, he forgives her pretty quick and is still contemplating giving her his alice stone and he even eats her mochi without receiving any real apology at first. in this case, he knows she didn't mean to hurt him and there's no ill will involved, so it's easier to move past.

the case of confirming out loud that she would rather be attached to ruka than natsume is different for a few reasons:

mikan doesn't know that natsume loves her, so even though she instantly takes it back and tries to clarify, because she knows it's a mean thing to say, she doesn't fully understand why natsume would be particularly hurt by it. i would actually argue that mikan doesn't really mean what she says here, either. she doesn't prefer ruka to natsume at all. she loves both of them (in different ways) but considering her actions up to this point, it's pretty clear she's devoted to natsume. she's just petty here because he's irritating her.

i think mikan does in some way know ruka has feelings for her, and her feelings in response are complicated. i talked a lot about why i feel this way in my essays, but the main takeaway is that, because she isn't sure how she feels about him back, she doesn't want to really confirm or deny anything. saying things like that she prefers ruka to natsume might hint at some confirmation she isn't ready to give.

natsume does get hurt here in a way he doesn't with the greeting cards because this isn't a silly misunderstanding; it's a statement of her feelings. natsume has given up from the beginning. just a few chapters earlier, he even tells ruka "i was never trying to win in the first place" because he has no future to give mikan, being in a relationship with her would put her in more danger, and he hates himself and views himself as unlovable. altogether, he has no hopes of mikan falling in love with him as opposed to ruka. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean hearing things like this doesn't hurt. he's still jealous and sad about it, and that's why he doesn't get over it quickly even when she says that's not what she meant. he stays bitter about it for a long time, because, as far as he's concerned, she told the truth.

i think, usually, natsume doesn't really get very hurt by mikan's words because he knows she's careless and talks without thinking. there's plenty of things she says in the heat of anger or without considering how her words might make someone feel, and understanding what kind of person she is means her words don't hit as hard for him. there's a few instances where she does hurt him, and those are usually related to saying how she feels out of spite. she lashes out, and he gets hurt in the process. he loves her, and nobody on the planet would feel good getting any kind of hint that the person they love doesn't feel the same way.

for me, one of the most interesting scenes in the manga is chapter 81, when natsume asks mikan if people worrying about her is a burden, and she says "yes". she doesn't say it because of luna's threats or carelessly like she might have earlier. usually mikan hurts natsume on accident, or without thinking she could hurt him, but this time she hurts him on purpose, because she's jealous. he hurt her by choosing luna's team over hers, so she hurts him on purpose by saying he's bothering her. she doesn't mean it, and she regrets saying it, but i find it so interesting that she feels so bitter about being rejected by him that she hits back.

we don't really see much of natsume's reaction to that. he's not happy, for sure, but we don't really see if that hurts more than anything else that happens to him in this arc. still, mikan's side of things gives the moment an extra layer of angst.

natsume is, i would argue, almost always team ruka, at least until the sports fest arc. he gets jealous, yes, but like i said, he doesn't consider that he could get the girl and he doesn't really aim to get the girl either, out of fear she could get hurt. he loves mikan and he loves ruka and he thinks, if they like each other, they should be together to make each other happy (because he can't). that doesn't mean he doesn't get jealous, it just means he's choosing the path that hurts him the most for the sake of others because of his martyr complex.

things start changing around the sports fest arc because he becomes increasingly less capable of resisting showing his affection toward mikan. he has been pretending to hate her for so long without ever apologizing, but this time is different. he can't do it. he has to apologize, he has to hug her, to anonymously confess to her. he can't fight it anymore. thus, his jealousy towards ruka (while never once taking the form of anger towards ruka) also becomes stronger.

natsume is fascinating because he in constant conflict between selfishness and selflessness, the conflict between choosing what will make everyone else happy and what will make him happy.

he chooses selflessness each time, even when it's hard, until mikan makes her feelings known to him. he'd already completely let go of hiding his feelings by that point because he wasn't doing any of these things for reciprocation, but just because he loves her. but when she says she loves him back, he chooses selfishness. he's still dying. a relationship would still hurt her. and he still doesn't view himself as lovable (he underestimates how much she loves him). AND YET he still kisses her and proposes.

*note that when i talk about selfishness when it comes to natsume i don't mean it in a necessarily negative way.*

as for natsume not "standing it", i'm sure he wouldn't be able to. but his poor reactions towards mikan and ruka's relationship are mostly internal, which he is willing to take, with maybe some bitterness towards mikan, which works in his favor because he's constantly trying to push her away. he doesn't WANT mikan to be with ruka, but natsume doesn't care about what he wants. what he wants is never his priority. besides, he knows his death is imminent, so at least he wouldn't have to watch mikan be with ruka for too long. he sets the stage and he puts this misery on himself because he's convinced himself everyone would be better off without him.

but that's why it's interesting when he finds out his feelings are reciprocated. he doesn't try to put ruka and mikan together anymore. even when he has ruka promise to take care of mikan for him if anything happens, he doesn't mean for ruka to be with mikan after that. after all, natsume even tells mikan "you are mine," and that he will never give her stone back to her, even if her feelings change. and then, after natsume does die, ruka confesses again to mikan and tells her he will win her over next time. i think he does this to lure natsume back to life. kinda like a "see natsume? im making moves on your girl! come back and fight for her!"

so i do agree with you that he wouldn't be able to stand it, especially after he finds out mikan loves him back. he never wants mikan with someone else, but after that point, he wouldn't be able to tolerate anybody with mikan except for him.

i really can't talk enough about natsume or mikan or their relationship which is why i've written so much about them. natsume's jealousy is so interesting to me because it's rarely as simple as "i don't like the idea of mikan being with someone else." that's definitely a factor, but it's complicated by his love for ruka as well as his own self-hatred and martyr complex. this is what makes him so different from most male leads in other romances and also what makes natsumikan so unique.

tbh i think jealousy gets a bad rep these days. people lump it in with aggression and abuse, and though jealousy can certainly play a role in those things, it's an emotion and no emotion is intrinsically bad or abusive. EVERYONE gets jealous. it's what we do with that jealousy that makes a relationship healthy or toxic. i definitely wouldn't say natsume's jealousy takes a healthy form, but he's not abusive towards mikan in that way, mainly he hurts himself. he puts himself in this situation time and time again. this struggle requires natsume to choose himself every once in a while, rather than what other MLs might need (to choose other people over themselves).

i know you didn't necessarily ask a question, but i love having discussions like this. i hope you have a lovely day!

[kpopstanships]

Personality Ship #2

A very special personality ship for my absolute favorite person @lavenderdwaekki I will not lie I went way overboard on the description with this one but I got so excited seeing your request that I just simply couldn't help myself. (especially with the stray kids one)

ISTG I want to just ship you with myself at this point you are such an amazing person and I know these idols would agree with me 100%. But enough of me simping over you here are your ships! I hope you enjoy them!

Also thank you so much for requesting Twice and (G)idle, I don't get a lot of requests for girl groups and so these ships are really fun to write.

In Stray Kids I ship you with HYUNJIN

Okay I will not lie I debated putting you with Felix for a hot second but here me out when I say that Hyunjin would be ENTHRALLED by you. Please you two were made for each other and the moment Hyunjin sees how expressive and talented you are he would immediately be in love. He feels like you are the extension of himself that he has been missing, someone that he can express himself openly with and someone who can teach him with your own expressions.

You two are such an artistically talented couple that it isn't even fair at this point. Hyunjin loves if you are willing to involve him with his work because it never fails to amaze and inspire him with how creative you are. I feel like he would love being beside you while you worked, maybe even working on a painting of his own. He would find inspiration from you and want to incorporate that into his own work in any way he could, and he would also love for your input. On the days the two of you are willing to go out, he loves going with you to museums or even just around the city so you guys could take photos of everything. He definitely has a polaroid of you two together in the back of his phone that no one knows about. He's always curious to know what you think of his art, or his dancing, or even the way he sings in one of Stray Kids upcoming tracks (that he wasn't supposed to show you but oh well). He just wants to actively keep you involved in what he is doing because he can also be a very clingy boyfriend and would love for his two passions to blend.

I think Hyunjin describes your ideal partner and love language very well. He's someone that can be as clingy and intimate as you want him to be but also someone who will respond to your energy. You can joke around with him and playfully insult him and he will bite back with just as much sass, or be overdramatic about it just to get a laugh out of you. Especially if you decide to bite him, his overdramatic self would immediately scream and whine for a good minute demanding you shower him with kisses to apologize (even though he honestly loves it). Hyunjin is honestly just so down bad for you and he wants to be sure that you know that at all times. Whether it be through his words, his actions, physical touch, he is always doing something to remind you of how much he loves you.

Also don't get me started with your animals, you two would just have a family of fur babies together. Hyunjin may not be able to give your cats the most attention since he is allergic, but he will still love them as his own and especially your rabbits. Bonus points if you get along with Kkami that man would literally melt seeing his two babies snuggling together.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

In Twice I ship you with SANA

There is something that is so cute and charming about the two of you together and I feel like you two would balance out pretty nicely. While you are a more reserved extravert she is a bit more outgoing so your personalities can match up without completely overlapping and feeling like too much. You make for such an energetic and playful couple that would immediately turn heads. You two are such an openly affectionate couple that the others can't help but tease her whenever you are around. She can't help it though, at the very least you two will be holding hands when you are together, just a reminder to her that you are there.

With how busy she can get the quality time with you is very special to her and she loves that moments where you two stay in and talk are just as fun as if you go out. She would definitely love everything you make and would do her best to sit still for you if you wanted to paint her. You are such a dedicated person with a lot of talent that she admires greatly. She's definitely going to go and brag to the others about your newest art piece or the baked goods you surprised her with one night. Because of this it would also mean the world to her if you took an interest in her work because she is very passionate about it and having your support would be her main source of motivation for sure.

She enjoys the more playful elements of your relationship as well. Sana feels like you are someone she can be herself around without worry. She makes it very clear from the beginning that she loves you for who you are and will love every part of you equally. In return she gives you the same energy and you find there is a true connection with each other. Being from Japan, she would also love the fact that you know Japanese, she would literally melt if you ever spoke it to her.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

In (G)idle I ship you with MINNIE

Okay but the thought of you two together is just so adorable I couldn't help myself. You two bond to each other easily and this feels like a good friends to lovers relationship going on. You two just bond so well that trust and admiration are built quickly and naturally flow into a relationship. You two could sit together talking about literally anything and not get bored for hours, especially given your shared interests. You also promote each others creativity and inspire one another. You will become her muse as much as she becomes yours.

A go to date for you both quickly becomes photography dates, where you both dress up and run around taking cute or funny pictures of the other and then go back home and compare them. There is usually quite a lot of teasing involved, and after a while you two stop taking it seriously but that just makes it even more fun. She keeps all the pictures in a cute little album that you two can look back on whenever you are feeling sentimental or need inspiration. You two are just as comfortable being all cute and affectionate as you are playful with each other. It's a natural switch depending on your moods and something to always keep you going.

Like the others I feel like Minnie would love to involve you in her life even when she can't bring you to work with her. She's always leaving little pictures or notes from you when she's away. You two have also developed the habit of face timing when you can't be with her. Sometimes the two of you will catch up and other times it's just silent as you do your own thing with the comfort of knowing that the other is there. It is a pretty good solution to make sure you never feel left out or alone but it will never beat the real thing as she will always remind you.

You two have already developed your own little family, between your cats and rabbits and her dogs there is definitely enough attention to go around. Minnie cherishes every moment with you and by this point the others are annoyed with her constantly rambling and reminding them what an amazing boyfriend she has.

Thank you again for your order and I hope you like your ship. Feel free to request again at any time.

My requests for Personality ships are open! For more details or to see the other ships I offer please check out my menu here

↪ With love: Katt 

[leoascendente]

hi <3, hope u r doing well. i came across ur blog and really liked it so i wanted to follow u here. i really wanted to know about ur weirdest encounter with ghost. like do u talk to them? can they communicate? Do u have ghost friends? i am really curious lol

Hi honey! I love this question btw 😊

I always had weird encounters with spirits or entities, I live in a very magical place with a lot of legends and is pretty common to hear paranormal stories, some call these islands the remains of Atlantis so here happens a lot of weird things. Besides the magic of the place where I live I've always had that 6th sense.

I tag my encounters with spirits in 3 categories: before my awakening, after my spiritual awakening and the inbetween. So here we go...

(I'll try not to extend too much but god forgot to give me the abillity to summarize 🤷‍♀️)

A little disclaimer: Some stories here can be hard to read, I'll talk about abuse, a crime, animal sacrifices, mental health problems, etc. So don't read it if you are easilly impressed, your mental health and wellbeing always goes first 🙏

*First of all, yes, all spirits can communicate but some of them just don't want to. Yes too, I can talked to them but is not as simple as that, the way we can connect with the other side is unique for every witch or psychic. And lastly, I would say yes, not ghost friends but there are deities I love like I love a friend and talk to them like I do with my best friend. Ghosts per se are the spirits of dead, if they are stuck in the hall of the dead ( the biblical purgatory) they are not the best company to have with you.

Before my awakening:

Here there are a lot of forest areas and there's a not so popular place here that is the crater of an unactive volcano, there a road, on one side you got the forest area, on the other side tou have the path to the volcano. There are legends on all that area that is called 'bailadero de las brujas' something like the dance place of witches. On a night out with friends we drank a little too much and we ended up there to see the sunrise, we started walking there because there's no luminic contamination and you cam see the stars, we walked until we found like 5 people hanging out dead black roosters from the trees, there was feathers and blood everywhere in their altar (santeria is very common here and they fo to make their sacrifices in those places, I have a picture of an spell made with strings i a beach I go often but Idk if I should post it 😅), my friends and I were so scared that we ran in different directions. I heard someone running behind me the whole walk to the car, I can hear the steps clearly behind me. That place is full of nature and it's easy to get lost at night and I ended up in a recreative area with tables and barbaques, on the opposite place to where we parked the car but closer to the road and far from the forest, on one of that tables there were 3 women all dressed in black, the image was terrible now that I remember but I felt a sense of safety when I got there, they wore old clothing with those long and stuffed skirts and a little white apron on their waist, they all had the hair pulled back and a little black veil like elderly ladies use to wear here when mourning. One of the 3 ladies pointed at the direction I had to follow, she had a lovely smile and somehow I trusted her having in mind that minutes ago I saw people sacrificing animals (a trauma I still have, I cry when I hear any animal cry, even when my dog moans for his toy I get anxiety). I thanked the women and they got up and walked into the forest in the opposite direction of the road, they were leading to the area of the unnactive volcano. It was a long walk going by the road, I kept walking and felt again the steps behind me but there was nothing there, Idk why but after the encounter with the women I wasn't scared anymore, I walked until I found the parking lot where my friends were all bruised because they fell and rolled while they were running, even their clothes were broken and I was in perfect conditions, just my shows full of dirt but anything else. After years, not so long ago (that happened when I was 16, I'm 23 now) I talked with the grandmother of a friend and told her the story, she told me that in that volcano there are 3 spirits of witches that many people have seen before, they are known because they guide the people who get lost in the forest and they protect that area because is sacred. And it's true, before the colonization of the Spanish, the tribes here got water from a wooded area where there was a gigant tree and by the condensation of mist it turned to water and fell to a holes in the ground making ponds, it's called Garoe tree, if you want to google it.

Extra story: When I was like 8 or 9, there was a rye mill next to my house, when I came back from school I always saw an old woman with a donkey grinding the grain from my window, so I often went with her to play with her donkey. She was always super nice with me and told me a lot of things about magical creatures of the forest, a lot of advices I still remember and follow. She used to tell me that everytime I go to the forest I had to ask for permission and protection from the guardians of the forest, to avoid walking on the middle of the road on nighttime, to keep rosemary under the pillow to frighten the spirits of nightmares. I remember those evenings with a lot of love but my father told me that there was never a lady or a donkey there, I just went there and played alone for hours

After my awakening:

This was pretty hard to live, I think it's one of the most heartbreaking and heartwarming stories at the same time I have ever lived so here I go, and prepare because it's a long story

Like 2 years ago a friend and I used Randonautica, that app that takes you to weird places, it took us first to 2 places that had weird energy but nothing else. The third location was in the middle of the forest but close to the road, it's an area close to a crossroads, you are in the middle of the forest but you can see the any of the two roads around it. I asked the app for something beautiful to inspire me because I was having a hard time in that moment, I found a massive pine tree with twisted branches, it looked like the tree was giving tha back to the road that led to the town and was facing with the branches to the forest, almost like embracing it. I was working with akashic records at the moment so I decided to open the tree's records and what I found was so so beautiful. She, the tree was a mother guardian of the forest, she had a motherly femenine energy and she was surrounded by little pine trees growing on the floor all around her. I put my two hands over her and breathe, I literally heard like a blop in my chest and felt so so warm (after that experience my chronic deppresion slowly faded). But here comes the interesting part, I was living my best life vibing with the tree and my friend started panicking, she started telling me "Lala, there's somebody here with us", ( to all of this, my friend was working on her mediumship at that time, after this experience she stopped her spiritual development). A thing about me is that I can be super chill but if someones makes a little warn about something I switch the witchy radar to find anything weird, she was telling me that there was a little boy there, that she was feeling him around us, I focused and told her that it wasn't a child but an adult with the mind of a child. We started channeling there like lunatics, I still had the akashic records open so it was like a shower of different images slapping me at once.

My friend (let's call her D) told me that the boy was obviously dead but his family thinks he was still alive and my guides confirmed what she was saying, we tried to make an approach with him and that the worst I could do. Idk know how to explain this but I saw through his eyes what he went through, I saw myself next to a big man that was smoking sitting on the back part of a car, he put his hand on my thigh and was rubbing it closer to my private area, I slapped his hand and there was a an argument between both, there's was an struggle to make me enter in the card and the man was grabbing my arm so hard ( I physically felt the pain when we left that place). The man was getting violent and I started running through the forest until I felt a knock on the back of my head and fell to the ground, everything was black after that but I still could hear the breathing.

D shaked me because I was standing with a weird face expression on my face so I told her all I saw in the vision. We made a flower made of pine cones under the guardian tree for all the flower the boy never had, we tried our best with prayers to give the boy some peace. I called on Anubis (my patron deity) and prayed that someone came to take the boy to a better place. D and I left the place and my friend was repeating that we missed something and the boy wanted to come with us, I did my prayers while we were walking and just before stepping in the road I felt how all the air left my lungs and we both smelled an scent of low tide (whoever who lives near the sea knows that when tides are low it has a particular smell), we were in the middle of the forest with the see kilometers away, it was impossible to smell that there. D and I looked at eachother and we both know but we were scared, I mean, where I live there's almost no crime, this is a super safe place to live and we were being witness of a crime. We both said "he died drown" and my guides confirmed again, he got hit in the forest and that big man of my vision throwed the boy to the sea while he was alive thinking he was dead.

You can imagine the feeling D and I got when we came back home... I made the proper cleansing to both of us and told the story to my mum and here come the plottwist. She told us that like 20 years ago a boy with a dissability ( he had the mental age of a kid of 9 years but he was almost 30), dissapeared in weird circumstances and no one ever heard about him again. Police was after his sister because of how she treated him but she had no reason to hurt her brother, police was also thinking about human trafficking but the common suspect was the priest of the town. The whole island pointed at him because the boy was always in the church with the priest and with the elder ladies that went there oftenly (one of them was my granmother and that priest was the one who baptized me). My mum told me that everyone acused the priest and he left the island and went to Vatican, police went there but nothing happened, it's said in the town that after that the priest made the whole Camino de Santiago barefoot, Idk but that sounds like catholic punishment for me... To this day the boy stills as a missing person and his family don't know what happened to him, I told my cousin the story and she googled about dissapearence here and she found the missing picture of him.

Well, to end up things better, the boy was trying to approach D after that and she got so scared she refused all her spiritual life, she wasn't ready for that. Her car has like a sensor when someone sits on the back seats, Idk what it is because I have no idea of cars but I still have the videos of her showing me the light on the card telling there was someone sitting behind her but there was nothing there, things started moving on her house randomly, the light flickered often and things like that, The boy was after her and not me because she's a medium but I'm a psychopomp (Idk if it's the correct translation but just in case, to clarify my family soul is the baregemas, sorry that's what google translate told me), my purpose is guiding them through their journey, not getting involved in their unsolved bussiness and he knew I would make the ritual to send him to the place he must be and get my hands washed because when you work with spirits is better this way. But D has this helper or savior complex and like a good Virgo she is she wanted to help and while we were at the forest she kept repeating that the boy's mum deserved to know so the boy went after her to ask for her help but she freaked out with all her reasons, something moving in your house with no reason is scary. She ended up having a panic attack and told the boy to leave, I ended up summoning him and making the mourning ritual for him to be picked up and sent to a better place, before he left he asked me to tel D that he was really sorry, he never wanted to scare her just wanted to talk with her but didn't know how to make her listen to him, he also asked me to go with his mum and tell her what I know but I refused to disturb that woman's life with no more evidence that 'i'm a psychic' but, if the Universe ever gives me the chance to talk with her I would do it, but just if I got the chance, if not I won't force it. And well, that's how the story ends, the boy is at peace after almost 20 years of being stuck in the hall of the dead, he is now happy and safe, and not scared anymore.

I was going to write another story where I thought I live in a haunted house but it was just someone making me black magic, but I think this post is long enough. Anyway, if you want to know that story too just tell me, I had a lot of paranormal experiences 🤗

[campgoth]

loetta and/or cricket (i rly like the first name and the second one sounds like a non-binary Choice and i wanna know if i'm right)

I’m gonna do BOTH!! Thanks for sending the asks!

(Please other people do this too, it’s been so fun for me)

(Ask game is to talk about my OC’s. OC’s that haven’t been asked about are Lottie, Fern, Cammy, Kacy, Linna-Zin, Xena, and Bree)

Let’s start with Loetta (my dnd character)

1) Full Name: Loetta Doeson (but technically it’s Aubrey Roe, Loetta is a fake name)

2) Best Friend: Omes (the cleric in our party)

3) Sexuality: Bisexual

4) Favorite Color: Maroon

5) Relationship Status: So so very single (couldn’t let anyone in if she tried)

6) Ideal Mate: she isn’t thinking about that much right now, but probably someone with an investigators spirit, curious and smart, and someone who would would join the sword dance (join in a revenge mission if needed)

7) Turn Ons: Muscles, and a strong will

8) Favorite food: trail mix

9) Crushes: none at the moment (okay lowkey this buff orc that wants to kill the party but that isn’t gonna happen)

10) Favorite Music: Shanty’s

11) Biggest Fear: Dying without ever finding a cure for her disease (she’s slowly being consumed by a carnivorous plant). Sometimes she’s not afraid of death though, sometimes she feels ready. So that or never truly having any close relationships ever again.

12) Biggest Fantasy: Being cured

13) Bad Habits: Secrecy, not trusting friends

14) Biggest Regret: The way Loetta got sick in the first place was by trying a drug in order to get a little extra money she desperately needed. Being a guinea pig. Even though she needed the money, knowing now what it did to her, it’s her biggest regret

15) Best Kept Secrets: Her real name, and the fact that she has a secret underground lab where she grows plants and tries to find a cure for herself.

16) Last Thought: the last thought she had was something along the lines of “wow, I love talking to this tree, it’s really peaceful”

17) Worst Romantic Experience: it’s not like a funny one but probably choosing to have sex with her clothes on because she was afraid the person she was with would see the plants growing in her skin

18) Biggest Insecurity: can I again say the plants growing inside of her? Lol. Probably that, but otherwise, I think sometimes she feels like a selfish person, and that bothers her, but she doesn’t know another way to be.

19) Weapon of Choice: her willingness to die at a moments notice (she’ll do some crazy things in battle, like get willingly stabbed with a harpoon just to pull the chain closer, and thus the person wielding it). Her greatest weapon is her willingness to hurt in order to obtain her goal. Also wolves teeth (she’s a druid)

20) Her parents were here role model, but they’re dead. Now, it’s Archibald. He said worked with her on a ship once, before she got sick, and now they are working together again. He’s like a father figure.

Okay now I will do Cricket! She’s from my book.

1) Full Name: Cricket Hanlon/ Cricket Allan (name changes)

And because you asked, I wanna tell you WHY her name is Cricket. She’s not actually non-binary, her parents named her Cricket. Everyone in the family is named after a different type of animal, and her siblings Lottie and Cammy have full animal names too ;)

2) Best Friend: Her sister Lottie has always been her best friend, but after her disappearance, and some time, her best friend became Martell

3) Sexuality: Bisexual (I don’t think I have any straight characters)

4) Favorite Color: A muted teal/turquoise blue

5) Relationship status: Married! To Martell Allan :))

6) Ideal Mate: An all around partner. An open communicator, a good parent, a total sci-fi nerd, someone she can cry to, someone good in bed, someone supportive of her small business. Martell is perfect.

7) Turn ons: An encyclopedic knowledge of old and long running sci-fi classics, and long hair.

8) Favorite food: does whip cream count?

9) Crushes: Crushin pretty hard on her husband, Martell

10) Favorite Music: Indie-pop

11) Biggest Fear: her daughter suddenly disappearing, like her sister and parent

12) Biggest fantasy: A world where her sister never died. Where they could open their antique store/bakery, like they planned. A world where her best friend didn’t die. A world where she didn’t have to move back home at 19, back to the room they used to share. A world where she could have saved her.

13) Bad Habits: I see cricket as a nail biter

14) Biggest Regret: Lottie dying. She could have prevented it. She’s thought of a million ways she could have prevented it.

15) Best Kept Secrets: Well she’s an alien living on earth and only one person knows so probably that

16) Last Thought: The last moment I’ve written of her is her crying to one of her moms as she realizes Lottie is gone

17) Worst Romance Experience: Probably that girl who didn’t know what Doctor Who was and thought it was a medical show

18) Biggest insecurity: that she’s not helpful enough

19) Weapon of choice: her hope

20) Role Model: I think her role model is probably a fictional character from an old Sci-fi movie that I haven’t figured out yet

Thank you so much for this!!! Feel free to send me more, anyone!!

[cascadedkiwi]

Come Splash With Me! [Comfortember 2023]

Characters: Ashido Mina and Kirishima Eijiro (Platonic)

Manga/Anime: Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia

Genre: Comfort (but more fluff, I think)

Summary: Mina invites Kirishima to splash in the rain with her, just like when they were little.

Word Count: 774

Prompts: Started on 25. Rain with a sprinkle of 6. Sick with (childhood) 26. Friends

Kirishima slowly woke up to the pleasant sound of rain pattering on the roof. His curtain danced with the wind. He checked the time. "Oh, shoot! Mina!" She was supposed to be coming over for them to hang out.

He hopped out of bed, pulling on a tank top and giving his place a quick sweep. It wasn't spotless, but tidy enough for him not to feel self-conscious. He had snacks she liked and drinks in the fridge and even tea and coffee if she wanted something warm instead. 

Carefree laughter pulled his attention to the window. Kirishima peeked outside to see none other than Mina, splashing around in some small puddles in his front yard. She was wearing a clear plastic raincoat and knee-high rainboots, having the time of her life. It reminded him of when they were little, how Mina kick-started their friendship.

(Flashback)

Little Mina pulled on the dark-haired boy, who tumbled after her in his yellow rain boots. "The puddles are fun, you'll see!" 

She did a big jump, sending water droplets out in a circle. “Come splash with me!”

The boy’s pointy teeth showed with his cautious and curious expression as he pulled his hood over his head. Bright red eyes watch the fluffy-haired girl with matching pink skin stomping about with her big grin. Light rain was drizzling all around them, sunlight glistening about and making Mina's front yard sparkle. She had invited him over after school - out of nowhere, to him - and here he found himself. 

“Eijiro, come on!” Mina called out to him from the middle of a small puddle. Her raincoat was buttoned up but her hood was down, though the rain seemed to have no effect on her hair. It was like she didn't feel the rain at all, solely focused on the water gathered at her feet.

He gingerly tapped his foot in a circle of water in front of him on the pathway leading to the house. The water jumped and rippled outwards. A harder tap made a happier sound, and he looked for a bigger puddle. 

One foot, step. Other foot, tap. Splish, plop, splosh, sploosh.

A big smile spread across his face when he jumped into his biggest puddle yet, making water splash more like his new friend’s. “Mina, look!”

Mina splashed her way over, her joy only growing as Eijiro got more comfortable with the activity. “It's fun, right?”

He gave her a big nod. "Really fun! How have I never done this before?" He jumped again.

Mina was upset to see that Eijiro wasn't at school the next day. She went over to his house.

Eijiro’s dad answered. “Hello, Mina. I'm sorry, Eiji can't come out to play today. He's not feeling well.”

“He's sick?” Mina frowned. “What happened to him?”

“Nothing serious, I think he just got a head cold from getting wet yesterday.”

Mina’s eyes widened. “It's my fault…” she sniffled. “I made Eiji come outside with me…”

Mr. Kirishima ruffled her hair lightly. “It's ok, Mina. Don't worry. Tell you what. You can come see him but be very careful. I'll give you a mask.”

Mina nodded as she came in, putting on the mask before coming inside. 

Eijiro was on the couch, covered up to his chin with a blanket. He looked tired but perked up when he saw her. “Mina!”

She ran up, eyes wide and sad. “I'm sorry, Eijiro! I didn't mean to get you sick!”

“You didn't make me sick, Mina.” His voice was a bit weak, softer than normal. “Dad said it's because I got wet in the rain yesterday. I caught a cold…”

Mina patted his forehead, brushing away his bangs. “I like when my mommy does this when I'm sick.”

Eijiro closed his eyes. “It feels really nice.”

“Do you think you can come to school tomorrow?” 

He frowned lightly. “I hope so…”

Mina looked around for a moment. Eijiro’s dad was busy in the kitchen. She pulled her mask down and gave Eijiro a bright smile. “My mommy says if you can smile while you're sick, you’ll get better faster. Can you smile?”

He looked at her for a moment, blinking. He used his fingers to push up the corners of his mouth, giggling when Mina laughed at him. “I'll try to smile lots and lots!”

(End Flashback)

Mina looked up to lock eyes with him through the window, giving a big wave. Her hair was uncovered, just like back then. “Come splash around with me, Riot!”

He laughed, running out the door. “My immune system’s way manlier now, so you won't have to take care of me this time!”

[xtruss]

The Rebranding of MDMA

Ecstasy used to be known as Therapy. What kind of drug could it become next?

— By Rachel Riederer | July 13, 2023

Illustration By Maria Chimishkyan

When I was in college, I took MDMA with a few friends. It was 2002, and we thought of the drug as Ecstasy, or Molly, and associated it with raves. We weren’t really rave people, so we piled into a dorm-room bathroom and sat together on the floor. We were blissed out on one another’s company, deeply appreciating the cool, smooth nature of the wall, when John, the roommate of one of my friends, opened the door. He seemed unfazed to find us staring up at him with the big pupils you’d expect from an anime character. But something about his demeanor made us think that he was upset. When we asked him what was going on, he told us only that he’d been hanging out with some friends. On an ordinary day, we probably wouldn’t have inquired further. But we were on MDMA, which has been called an “empathogen,” because it intensifies feelings of empathy and connection, and we were curious to the point of pushiness. Was he sure that everything was fine? Did he want to tell us what had happened?

John closed the toilet lid, sat down, and began to talk. He was a serious musician who played in both an orchestra and a rock band; he said that, earlier that day, a friend of his had asked why he bothered with the band. As he told us about it, he started to tear up. Her comment, I sensed, had pricked a tender spot in his idea of himself. At the time, I thought of John as a friend but not necessarily a close confidant—but I was on empathy overdrive, and it felt intolerable to see him hurting. We got to work trying to help him sort things out, reminding him what a talented musician we knew him to be.

John’s dorm-room bathroom didn’t have much in common with a therapist’s office. Still, I’ve always thought of our encounter as a sort of informal therapy session. Some key elements of therapy were involved: we listened, with focussed attention, while John told us what was bothering him, and we asked why the remark had hurt so much. When he confessed his anxieties, we tried to validate and reassure him. In my memory, John left the bathroom feeling better, and so did I; I remember that conversation as a turning point in our friendship. Strangely, a chemical seemed to facilitate this connection. If not for MDMA, we might not have been so invested, or have invited John so earnestly to open up.

In recent years, growing numbers of scientists have been asking whether MDMA could become a recognized, official part of psychotherapy. Rachel Yehuda, who runs a lab at Mount Sinai focussed on post-traumatic stress disorder, or P.T.S.D., says that MDMA “produces a substantial change in mental state that increases people’s ability to engage with traumatic material in psychotherapy.” Although the drug has been illegal since the eighties, the F.D.A. considers MDMA one component of a “breakthrough therapy” for the treatment of P.T.S.D., and could soon consider an application for its prescription use during therapy sessions. Such a development would force us to change our idea of the drug. Many people still think of MDMA as a chemical that makes you feel good when you go out dancing all night long. But what if its greatest power is an ability to inspire empathetic conversations? The meaning of MDMA is changing. What kind of a drug is it going to be?

MDMA takes its name from its chemical formula: 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine. In “I Feel Love: MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World,” a new book on the history and resurgence of the drug, the journalist Rachel Nuwer writes that it was first synthesized in the U.S. in 1965, by Alexander Shulgin, a gifted chemist at Dow Chemical. Shulgin, who taught at the University of California, Berkeley, and consulted for the Drug Enforcement Administration (D.E.A.), was part of a community of psychedelic enthusiasts who “tended to think of MDMA as a cherished and respected medicine,” Nuwer writes—“something to assist with transcendence, growth, and healing.” The drug became popular among therapists of a countercultural bent, who administered it to patients and sometimes took it themselves. But, as others began to synthesize and share it, Shulgin feared that it would become known as a recreational drug and the D.E.A. would criminalize it.

Illustration By Maria Chimishkyan

MDMA’s reach grew in the early eighties, when a former Catholic priest named Michael Clegg introduced it to the Dallas club scene. It proved successful enough there that, one day, he visited Bob McMillen, who had been a major marijuana distributor in California. He told McMillen that he had been using a drug that was going to be a big deal, and he wanted to sell it on the West Coast. Clegg even had a name for the molecule: Therapy. After some cajoling, McMillen agreed to sample it. He put on an album by the New Age instrumentalist Deuter and sat on his couch, under a sheet. “I floated off in a wonderful euphoria,” he later recalled. “Then I threw the sheet off, sat up and said, ‘Sold! How much can I get?’ ” But McMillen insisted on a rebrand: Therapy was too corny a name to move any product. He chose the name of the Deuter album, and in four days he sold five thousand units of Ecstasy.

MDMA was gaining a sort of split personality, as a potentially therapeutic chemical on the one hand and as pleasure in pill form on the other. Shulgin hated the name Ecstasy; when Nuwer visited his widow, she called it “penicillin for the soul.” On the party scene, however, it was becoming commonplace for clubbers to go to a bartender and order “a beer and an Ecstasy,” one of Nuwer’s sources recalls. Users didn’t necessarily know what they were getting: Ecstasy is often cut with other drugs, such as fentanyl. In part for this reason, in 1985, the D.E.A. named MDMA a Schedule 1 controlled substance—a classification reserved for drugs “with no currently accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse.”

In the decades that followed, a research and advocacy organization, the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies, or maps, tried to make psychedelics acceptable and accessible to the public. But not until the two-thousands did studies of MDMA’s therapeutic potential start to gain wider traction. In a Phase 2 clinical trial started in 2004, a hundred and seven people with a P.T.S.D. diagnosis received several weeks of talk therapy; during two of the sessions, about a month apart, participants received either MDMA or a placebo. When the study concluded, fifty-six per cent of those given MDMA and therapy no longer met the diagnostic criteria for the disorder, more than twice as many as those in the placebo group. One downside of such studies is their small size; another is that they do not test MDMA without therapy, making it difficult to disentangle the impacts of the drug from the sessions.

Nuwer argues that the effort to recontextualize MDMA as a treatment for trauma is both “the latest installment in a long history of hype that’s surrounded this unique molecule” and a return to the drug’s roots. “The pendulum is swinging back to where MDMA began,” she writes. Recently, an Australian law made MDMA and psilocybin, the compound in psychedelic mushrooms, available by prescription; an Australian biotech company raised $2.5 million to develop a program for psychiatrists to provide MDMA during therapy. In 2021, a psychiatrist associated with maps, Michael Mithoefer, published a Phase 3 trial—the first late-stage clinical trial involving MDMA—with promising results for patients with severe P.T.S.D. Now that Mithoefer and his colleagues have completed an additional Phase 3 trial, his team plans to submit an application for prescription use to the F.D.A. Nuwer writes that some psychiatrists are skeptical about whether the drug is ready for “widespread clinical use,” but many experts think that it could be approved as soon as this year.

We’re used to thinking of psychiatric medications as working separately from therapy, with the former making physiological changes to brain chemistry and the latter helping patients understand their emotions, adjust their thinking patterns, or change behavior. But MDMA doesn’t fit that model of psychiatric medication; it’s fundamentally different from the drugs that currently treat depression or anxiety. No one is suggesting that patients take MDMA every day, like Wellbutrin, or as needed to combat acute distress, like Xanax. Instead, MDMA is a drug that one might take in combination with therapy, during sessions—less a treatment than a treatment enhancer.

The exact mechanisms through which MDMA works are not well understood. During the last four decades, most research on the drug has focussed on whether it damages the brain; studies are ongoing, and Nuwer’s expert sources are convinced that it doesn’t—although, she writes, it is clear that “high, repeated doses can inflict major changes” on the serotonin systems of lab animals. One of Nuwer’s important contributions is dissecting two seriously flawed studies of MDMA that have been corrected in the scientific literature but have nonetheless shaped public opinion. In one, researchers mistakenly administered methamphetamine to subjects, yet reported the results as coming from MDMA.

Gül Dölen, a researcher at Johns Hopkins, has found that MDMA and other psychedelics reopen what neuroscientists call a “critical period” in the brain—windows of time, mostly occurring during childhood and puberty, during which neural connections can change and reorganize. It’s unknown whether this has anything to do with the feelings of empathy and social connection associated with the drug. Dölen points out that individuals receiving MDMA-assisted therapy need to be treated with particular care, not just during their sessions but afterward; even after the drug’s acute effects have worn off, patients will “continue to exhibit heightened sensitivity, malleability and vulnerability during the open state.” (One woman who had participated in a maps-sponsored trial, in Canada, continued treatment with two therapists who had conducted the trial; she later accused one of them of sexual assault during sessions. He claimed in legal filings that the relationship was consensual; maps cut ties with both therapists.)

Illustration By Maria Chimishkyan

If the F.D.A. approves MDMA for use during therapy, this will represent an unprecedented development both for psychedelic drugs and for therapy. A substance that has long been associated with parties could be mainstreamed and medicalized; many more people might try a new category of mental-health care, which could come with new kinds of risks. There could come a day when MDMA is associated less with feeling good than with trying to get better. As patients in Mithoefer’s studies have told him, “I don’t know why they call this Ecstasy.”

In the late nineteen-nineties, a psychiatrist named Charles Grob published a study showing that MDMA could be safely administered in a medical setting. His researchers administered the drug at a hospital to volunteers who, per the F.D.A.’s requirements, had prior experience taking it. The only person who had a problem with the tests, he reported, was the head nurse. She was annoyed that her nurses were neglecting their duties, instead choosing to spend time with the study participants. “The subjects were so empathetic and interested in the lives of the nurses,” Grob wrote, that the nurses gravitated to them, eager to talk. One of the peculiarities of MDMA is that it turns its users into listeners. Back in college, during our “session” with John, it was our MDMA-heightened empathy that helped the conversation along. John didn’t need to take drugs to benefit from its effects; he just walked into the room.

Nuwer writes that, when she tried MDMA for the first time, at a warehouse party in Brooklyn, she was worried that the drug would cause her to “spontaneously start making out with everyone.” But the sexiness associated with MDMA might not be one of its intrinsic properties; instead, the drug might work more broadly to deepen our interest in others. Therapy is a social pursuit: a good therapist provides not just insight and tools but a relationship in which it’s possible to change. When someone takes MDMA in the presence of a therapist, they might feel more supported and secure in this bond, and more able to dredge up painful feelings or hard memories without being overwhelmed by fear or shame. When I took it, I felt my bond with John a little more powerfully.

It could be that MDMA simply intensifies something that’s already present in successful therapy. Therapy helps, in part, because human connection is good for us. It matters when someone listens to you, and when you listen. Recently, I reached out to John to ask him how he recalled our encounter in the dorm bathroom. On the phone, our old rapport quickly reëstablished itself; the longer we talked, the better I felt. When I asked about that day, he laughed and told me that he remembered our conversation as a soothing one. But he never suspected that we were on MDMA. “You guys were my friends,” he recalled. “I knew you were empathetic people.” That had been enough. ♦