#this blog used to be such a happy place

[mjn-air]

.

[thirstyvampyr]

It's okay, it happened a long time ago. Yeah, I don't think that matters.

[ghostespresso]

staff logging on to tumblr dot com today

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

I've been seeing this a lot lately, but a little while ago I mentioned something to do with disability in a discord and someone asked me if I was a "spoonie". Not if I was disabled, but a spoonie. I need y’all to fucking get it into ur heads that disabled is not a dirty word. You can use the term spoonie for yourself all you want, but the second you start imposing it on other people and generally using it in place of the word "disabled", its just another woo-woo euphemism that seeks to soften and make comfortable the vocabulary and concept of disability.

Like at a certain point it becomes clear that a lot of people now are using “spoonie” in the same damn way as “differently abled” or "handicapable". The origin and intent of the term become moot within that usage because what it serves to do is invoke disability euphemistically, obfuscating and softening it in service of compulsory normative able-bodymindedness.

If you want to use that term for yourself, fine. Have fun. It doesn't have these same connotations when its used as a self identifier rather than as a replacement for the word "disabled". But stop applying it to others in place of "disabled" I’m so fucking serious.

[our-lesbian-experience]

Hiya! You can call me Rowan! My pronouns change sometimes n i'll try to update my desc with my current pronouns but I'm always chill w they/them so if you're not sure just stick with they/them

I might end up reblogging a bunch of random shit pertaining to lesbians as well as being an ask blog. we'll see.

trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, bi, he/him, they/them, ace/aro, etc. lesbians welcome!! TERFs and exclusionists can fuck off!

inspired by @our-queer-experience, @our-sapphic-experience, and all the rest <3

[mel-loly]

“And I see forever in your eyes

I feel okay when I see you smile, smile~”

@alsomanple/@manpleblog

[sketchy-tour]

Happy Easter if yall celebrate it!!!!! Otherwise I hope yall have an absolutely fantastic Sunday!!!!

Aaaa I feel like I'm not as chatty as I once was on here. Been a bit all over the place! Also feel silly making a ton of text posts with no art so I try and limit how often I blab on here.

But just know I still appreciate all of you who follow and like my art! Every bit of interaction I still see and it still baffles me to see such kind words. It means the absolute world to me!!!! 💖💖🌻

[silveredsound]

How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.

I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)

On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)

Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.

I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.

Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.

I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.

But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.

But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.

And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.

But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)

I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.

But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.

The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.

And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.

God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱

[majimasleftasscheek]

hi i got my ramen shop standee and the arcade machine keychain a while ago and they are AMAZING quality, they arrived just in time for a convention i cosplaued majima at and it was such a fun little addition to my bag. if you don't mind me asking what manufacturer do you use for all your stuff :0? they're super high quality compared to some manufacturers I've seen people recommend

I use vograce! it's not everyone's fav choice from what I gather from various other creators but my personal experiences so far (and I've ordered so much crap lol) is very good. they're a lil pricier than others too but I go to them cuz their products are good, they have a decent moq, and their customer service is very helpful/responsive

if you're interested in acrylic stuff, I would rec them. they have a ton of other products too that I haven't necessarily tried yet but they also offer sample services (sometimes free, sometimes a fee depending on what it is) so that's super helpful. and if you ask em, they'll provide proofs of items before they make em so you can check the art or whatnot (very helpful to make sure they don't make something backwards lol esp if there's text involved)

rn I'm having them test some buttons and I'll be going to them for my booby mousepads too cuz me and a friend collab'd to make some and they turned out very good

[pokimoko]

I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.

[boxwinebaddie]

an uncle nina check in <3

hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333

i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<

i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!

and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.

however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...

makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333

so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,

uncle nina xx

[lobotomizedlady]

literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country

[carry-on-every-neverland-magic]

Some people in this fandom legit so touchy about a otp going canon like

and then telling me to put stuff under a read more when I’ve used spoiler tags and warnings on every post I’ve made lol you’re getting at the wrong person mdear.

They’re acting like I’ve released the entirety of s2 script 

Anyway for those of us who celebrate THE LEAK ™ the party is at my house

[briar--rising]

It's very interesting trying to find blogs to follow for cherry alive bc like. Things we like: pink, ribbons, flowers, pretty clothes, baked goods, cute things, fairies, feminine stuff, cottagecore aesthetics, etc etc etc

Things we DO NOT like: misogyny, thinspo, 'i'm just a girly girl who needs a boyfriend to take care of me' (and related), traumacore, lana del rey inspired stuff (her music's fine, the way it's been turned into an aesthetic online bothers me), nymphette stuff (Yikes TM), tradwife stuff (extra Yikes TM), etc etc etc

Like a lot of pink themed blogs have content we find viscerally upsetting and completely antithetical to what I'm trying to make this space into. On my former account I saw a lot of posts criticizing the whole "girlblogging girl dinner" thing but I didn't see a lot of the original content they were responding to. Now I've seen it and I do not like it! I like femininity and fairies and flowers and sunshine. One of my deepest desires in a relationship context is actually a dynamic that includes a certain amount of being taken care of. But like. In a chivalrous butch/femme way not a weird 'girls are incompetent' way. I like so many things that are aesthetically adjacent to a lot of stuff I hate, but at the same time completely opposite from it. Because for me it's about healing and embracing joy and whimsy and magic and sunshine and hope and art, and, to a certain extent, how that stuff interacts for me with gender and femininity and finding joy in my femininity again. It's not about this bizarre 'i'm just a weak little girl' and/or 'i'm a violent girl who's cutesy and cruel' or whatever all that nonsense is. It makes me so sad to see honestly. Like. Idk what you're doing, I'm having fun. You should maybe try it too.

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

tomjesse and tartaladon says happy halloween everyone!!

they're ready to go serve some candies to happy and excited kids!

a little ramble about their costumes down below <333 you don't have to read it I just need to let my brain out on this one

tartaladon is dressed up as soul and ma.ka from sou.l eater!

aha you've been subjected to my annoying rambles I love u

anyways

maka and s.oul are a really good duo in fighting, they trust each other and know each other's limits, but when they're not fighting, they're always bickering like an old married couple and I find it so silly. soul (ch.ilde) is usually the one to provoke maka (celadon) and she gets violent FPFKTKOFKTF

in the story, soul acts as this designated weapon (the scythe) for maka and I think it'd be perfect how celadon wields chi.lde and he's constantly annoying her like "oouuh you're so strong omg my herooooo" and she's like "shut the HELL up. why are we partners." LMAOAIDJSJJDJS

also celadon looking fine. come on she looks so badass 🥺🥺🥺

tomjesse is lup.in iii and clar.isse from lup.in iii: castle of cag.liostro! (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND WATCHING THIS PLEASE U DONT HAVE TO BE A FAN OF L.UPIN III TO WATCH IT AARAARAADA)

DO YOU LIKE STU.DIO GHIBLI. WELL FUN FACT HAYA.O MIY.AZAKI DIRECTED THIS BEFORE GH.IBLI WAS EVEN BORN!! so if you enjoy his works then I ABSOLUTELY reccomend giving this one a watch, this is a comfort movie of mine and I adore it so much 😭

okok but unlike soul and m.aka, I was more concerned about their roles in the movie, lup.in iii (tom) is a gentleman thief and he's here to rescue clarisse (jesse), a runaway bride 🙈🙈🙈🙈 i also have the mighty urge to point out how THEYRE GREEN AND BLUE CODED ASKSKSKSKDJSJDJJS DIES BYE im totally not thinking of aus no I'm not no I'm not n

[papyrus-onlyblogokay]

i love your blog, thank you for reblogging papyrus for me to look at!!!!!!!!!

💚💚💚!!! Of course! I love papyrus and i love sharing papyrus! I think out of every blog i have ever made, this one is the most worth it for people like you💚! Cheers to the coolest skeleton!